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flerpsoriginals · 4 years

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Scheduling Error

Tuïf trudged through the streets of Ridgeport, with nothing besides a flimsy poncho between himself and the drizzling rain. Something had gone wrong with the schedule at work, and now they needed him at building six instead of seven.

"If you drove, we'd have to pay you for your charge, and you know we can't do that." his boss had said, chuckling. "Besides, it's only fifteen kilometers."

Tuïf heard an annoying jingle from his purse, and pulled his right arm inside his poncho. He knew for a fact that his work phone wasn't waterproof. He pressed the answer button, held the microphone to his mouth, and pulled the speaker up to his ear.

"Thank you for calling Nova internet service support, how can I help you?"

"I'm having trouble with my internet." the caller replied. Tuïf held in a sigh.

"What seems to be the problem?" he asked.

"Uhh... What seens to ve the frovlem?" someone behind Tuïf yelled, mocking his accent. "Speak English, idiot!" Tuïf ignored them, instead listening closer to the caller. "Hey! I'm talking to you!" Tuïf started walking a little faster, hoping they would take the hint.

Tuïf let out a yelp as someone yanked on his tail.

"Listen to me when I'm fucking talking to you, shitbag!" He spun around, snarling

A tall, pale skinned human in a gray hoodie and jeans stood in front of him.

"I said speak English, motherfucker!"

"Does this look like England to you?" Tuïf asked. That was apparently the wrong thing to say. His vision went black for a moment as the humans' foot slammed against his face.

"That'll teach you to spit blades, flowerfucker!" Tuïf rose shakily to his feet, and spat out two bloody teeth. Miraculously, he had managed to keep his grip on the phone. A small drop would have shattered it, and it would cost six kilodollars to replace.

"I'm sorry, would you please hold for a minute?" he said into the microphone. "I've just been assaulted."

"What? Are you okay? What's-" he heard before putting them on hold. He slid the phone into his purse, and looked up at the humans' face.

"What's your problem?" Tuïf asked, and dodged as they tried to kick him again. "Like fuck, man! I was just talking on the phone!" He scampered up a downspout, thankful that it was study enough to hold his meager weight. Humans may be big and strong, he thought to himself. But they're not built for YZ's gravity. And their teeth and claws aren't nearly as sharp as ours.

"This is a human town; you speak a human language or you get out!" the human said, desperately swiping for Tuïf's feet. Tuïf picked another of his loose teeth out with his tongue and spat it out on the humans' head.

"This is my fucking planet!" he yelled down.

"Not any more, bitch!" The human replied. They stopped jumping, and stared up at Tuïf, seemingly unsure what to do next. Just as Tuïf was about to start climbing for the roof, the human started pounding on the downspout.

"Dude! Stop! Your gonna-" One of the bands holding the pipe in place popped out of the wall, shortly followed by another. Before Tuïf could react, the entire downspout began to tip sideways.

"Oh shit!" The human let out just before the downspout slammed into their head.

Tuïf struggled to stand up, and looked down at the human. They were unconscious, but still alive. He looked around, and spotted a security camera focused on the alleyway. Getting the footage wouldn't be cheap, but the assault charges he was sure to face without it would be even more expensive. He took out his personal phone, and marked the address.

Panic shot through his mind as he remembered that he was in the middle of a phonecall. He yanked out his work phone, thankful that his purse had cushioned it in the fall, and quickly pressed the "end hold" button.

"Sorry about the holdup," he apologized, wiping blood from his nose. "How can I help you?"

---

Tuïf stepped through the doors to building six at 2:07. A short human in a suit glanced up from their computer and looked him over. His tattered poncho was covered in mud and grit, his nose and mouth were stained orange with blood, and he was trying to put as little weight on his left foot as possible. He tried to give a polite smile, but it came out as a grimace.

"You're seven minutes late." the human said, and returned their gaze to their computer. "Expect to see that on your annual report."

Tuïf hung the remains of his poncho on the coat rack, and tried his best to shake off the rain and mud. "Where will I-"

"Cubicle one two seven one, twelfth floor." the human interrupted. "Elevator's off limits."

#flerps writing #flerps ocs #nova tuïf

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flerponius · 5 years

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Mindless

“Hello, thank you for calling I-net service provider twelve customer support. How can I help you today?” Tuïf bent the left half of his sleek white company issue headset, feebly hoping the wires inside would reconnect. He had put in a repair ticket almost two months ago, and nothing had come of it.

“Yeah, my I-net isn't working.” he heard in his right ear. “It was fine three days ago but n-” Tuïf was startled by a loud burst of static in his left ear, and the call was suddenly in stereo. “-ust not working anymore!” he heard the customer finish.

“Can I have your name and CIN, please?” Tuïf requested, opening a new event form.

“Derik Juünz, zero zero zero four, nine one seven A, F F two two, zero zero B D.”

“And just to confirm, that was Derik Juünz, zero zero zero four nine one seven A F F two two zero zero B D, correct?” Tuïf said as he entered the data into the form.

“What, you got a hearing problem?” Tuïf winced as another burst of static sent the call back to mono.

“I’m just following procedure.” He reached for his cup of Earl Gray as Derik began informing him once more that his I-net was down.

“Well, let's see what we can do. Could you please find your modem for me?” Tuïf asked.

“What’s that?” Derik asked in return. Tuïf let out a sigh.

“It should be a small box with buttons and lights on it, with a NSNI cable connecting it directly to your wall.”

“What’s an NSNI cable?” Incredible. Tuïf was starting to doubt this guy had ever seen a computer before a few days ago.

“It stands for Nova Standard Network Interface cable. The head is shaped like a rectangle with a small divot on one side.” Tuïf heard some shuffling on the other end, including the sound of something falling and Derik cursing, before he returned.

“Okay, I’ve found the modem.”

“Thank you.” Tuïf said, wondering why he was thanking him. Oh right, procedure.

“Now, there should be a few lights on it. One of them should be labeled ‘I-net’. Can you tell me if it’s on?”

“Yes.” Derik replied. “I mean no, it's not on.”

“Okay, can you unplug the NSNI cable, please?”

“Sure.” As Tuïf waited for Derik to unplug the cable, he looked up his house on the distribution monitor. The system said he was receiving I-net, so it was almost definitely a problem on Derik’s end.

“Okay, I unplugged it, and now all the lights are off.” Tuïf lifted his hands from his keyboard and tensed them in frustration.

“Derik, that was the power cord.”

“Oh.” There was silence as derik seemed to think for a moment. “What should I do?” he finally asked.

“Plug it back in, please.” Tuïf took a swig of his tea and looked at the call timer. Six minutes? Really? It felt like an eternity.

“Okay, it’s plugged back in, and I unplugged the other thing.” At least he had the common sense to do that.

“Okay, now, look at the connector. Does it seem to be damaged or discolored in any way?”

“Nope.” Well, it wasn't the cable. Most likely something went wrong in the modem itself.

“Okay, now, there should be a button on the back that says ‘test’. Can you press it for me?” Tuïf waited for a full minute. “Derik? Are you still there?”

“I can't find it!” he shouted angrily, just as the wires in the left half of Tuïf’s headset reconnected, giving an extremely loud static burst.

“It should be red and about the size of your thumb, assuming you're a human.” Tuïf removed his headset’s left bud from his ear, deciding that occasional stereo audio wasn’t worth the pain.

“I still can't find it. Are you sure you know what you're talking about?” Tuïf felt a growl rising in his throat, and he took a sip of tea to drown it.

“Derik, there should be a serial number on the bottom of the box. What does it say?”

“Uh, hold on...” Derik instructed. “It’s um... I R seven seven zero two M Esh L five zero nine nine eight.” Tuïf muted his microphone and let out a frustrated snarl. Having got most of his anger out, he unmuted his microphone.

“Derik, that’s your router.”

“What?”

“Your router isnt your modem.” Tuïf chugged the rest of his tea. He diddnt care that he wouldnt be able to get more until the end of his shift.

“You told me it was the box with the buttons and the lights!” Derik yelled angrily.

“Yes, the one connected directly to the wall.”

“But this one is connected directly to the...” He trailed off as he seemed to remember that he had mistakenly identified the power cord as the network cable. “Uh, anyway, I found the modem.” Tuïf once more began to regurgitate his script.

“There should be a light on it labled ‘I-net’. Is it on?”

“Yes.” Derik replied.

“Then the problem is not with any of your equipment. There is something wrong with your router, which I cannot help you with, as it is not one of our devices.”

“This is unbelievable!” Derik yelled, prompting Tuïf to attempt to lower the call volume, only to remember it was already at minimum.

“You waste all my time just to tell me you can’t fix my I-net? Why can't you fix it?” Tuïf tried to think of a way to explain that this simply wasn't his job.

“I have an analogy for you.” he said eventually.

“What is it?” Derik asked, venom in his voice.

“Your window is cracked, and you have called a plumber to fix it. Do you understand?” He thought for a moment.

“But that can't be right! Modems and routers or whatever are both I-net things!”

“And windows and plumbing are both house things.” Tuïf retorted. “Do you understand now?” There was a click as Derik hung up.

“Well fuck you too.” Tuïf muttered as he ended the call. He only had a minute to himself before his headset rang again, likely with another mindless customer on the other end.

#inktober #inktober 2019 #story #flerponius

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askflerpsocs · 5 years

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Mindless

Inktober story 2