#nothings funny

[sibbycrobby]

crying on a saturday afternoon at 2pm over erik johnson literally whatever

[tonystarchive]

thinking about how Peter Parker has no idea just how much Tony Stark loved him again tonight...

[pinterestismylife]

[pixiesnooze]

i have applied to 32 jobs in the last month alone

[meaningtotellyou]

the comedy club saw you coming and locked the doors and got the tomatoes ready :/

[1eos]

theres nothing silly abt the sucking im tryna give him....him being 2022 and onward leo

[spitblaze]

you guys gotta stop shipping 30-year-old men and calling it old man yaoi. 30 is really not old. thats just man yaoi

[mychemicalbrromance]

Guys ive been reading peak

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[rosered-schneeweisschens-sis]

i never knew there were men in the room for this, “that was tough” oh man they were not prepared XD

[blaithnne]

Live Mel reaction

[fangsforfags]

when making a character, u have to ask urself:

are they bloody?

will they ever be bloody?

is it their blood or somebody elses blood theyre covered in?

why are they bloody?

how drenched in blood are they going to be from a scale of 1-10, with 1 being ''barely drenched'' and 10 being ''so covered we shld ask where there ISNT any blood on them''?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Dog Meshi.

[saixria]

Somewhere in Apollo’s hospital on Olympus

[my-hi-universe]

Guys I'm honestly not gay but I'm not blind either.

Also 😲

LIKE c'mon 😩😩 what do y'all expect from me I'm just a girl 😞

I see cool attractive people and I cant tell the difference between, "omg I wanna be them" and "omg I wanna be WITH them"

And DON'T get me started on Ambessa

(Is this normal help)

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

People playing Elden Ring and looking for the "good" demigod to root for are missing the point. Pick your favorite mass murdering war criminal megalomaniac with mommy issues and endlessly simp for them like the rest of us, cowards.