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pop-punklouis · 4 years ago

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top five HL fanfic!!!!

biiiiitch you all know how hard it is for me to choose only 5. but sigh FINE here’s my all-time favorite list that isn’t 5 sorry i can’t choose 😔:

• Here in the Afterglow (89k)

“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have many friends,” Louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.

Harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes Louis’ stomach shake. “I’ll be your friend.” 1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

• Coax the Cold (86k)

England, 1897.

English Professor Louis Tomlinson’s passion for the occult has been a source of mockery and derision for most of his life. When he hears whispers of a travelling freak show newly established in London claiming the existence of a monstrous sea hybrid, half-man, half-fish, Louis sees it as his ticket to credibility amongst his peers. The summer he spends undercover working on the show, however, gives him much more than that.

• Wild and Unruly (124k)

Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

• This Wicked Game (70k)

An AU in which The Bachelor is gay, Louis is a contestant, Harry is the bachelor, everyone drinks a lot of champagne, the entire world gets to watch them fall in love, and no one plays by the rules.

• Love is a Rebellious Bird (135k)

AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who "has made Mozart cool again" according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

• Fixated On One Star (53k)

Louis is just a boy with the world on his shoulders, and Harry's just a boy from the wrong side of the galaxy. A little thing like love doesn't stand a chance against a thousand years of war, at least until the right two come along to break the mold.

Or: space Romeo and Juliet AU

• Finding Lou (60k)

Louis is the nomadic stranger who wanders into Harry’s bookstore. Harry is the skeptic who falls for him.

• California Sold

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

• Empty Skies (134k)

For three years, Harry has been running from his past. Now, he is moving to London and pledges to fulfil his only dream -- making it big in the music industry. Not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. As is his past catching up on him.

Louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there had meant a lot of hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. He's still happy. Maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain?

• And Then a Bit (159k)

“We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”

Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts. (aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

• Dream Awake (31k)

The sun leaks through the tent wall behind him the way it leaks through eyelids, bathing the boy in an ethereal half-light as he croons. The crowd is mesmerized. Louis is mesmerized. This is the most important person in the world, he thinks wildly, and then can't figure out how to take it back.

On a hazy day in August, Louis sees Harry perform at a music festival as an unsigned act and convinces him to spend the rest of the weekend in his company. Harry gets signed; life changes. They never really wake up from the dream.

• Say You’ll Remember (93.5k)

au. louis and harry are best mates that are only half aware that they're also soulmates. alternatively, louis goes to university and harry travels the world, and they always manage to find their way back to each other.

takes place over nine years, in which they love and hurt, make mistakes and learn, and above all, grow.

• Outwit, Outplay, Outlast (61k)

Survivor All-Stars AU in which Harry and Louis are just in this game to win the million dollars, but they end up with something better.

Featuring Harry's yellow swim shorts, Louis in snapbacks, and OT5 shenanigans.

• Nothing Else But Us Right Here (35k)

Louis sighs and gives himself a mental pep talk as he smooths his jumper down over his hips. He can do this. He can resist the draw of Harry Styles, because he is a responsible, mature adult, and as much as he wants to tangle his fingers in that mess of hair and map those ridiculous tattoos with his tongue, he does not want to get his daughter’s favorite teacher fired.

• Wings to Break Your Fall (103k)

strip club AU. Harry’s work and family are keeping him busy. He really isn’t looking for a relationship, doesn’t want one. He just wants Louis. Problem is, Louis has other plans.

• Leave it to the Breeze (81k)

Louis couldn’t be prouder of his bake, but there’s something—there’s something. Something about Harry Styles and the earnest way he measures, pours, mixes, scrapes. Something about the tip of his tongue poking out of his mouth as he knocks the air out of his batter.

or a great british bake off au in which louis cares about winning and winning only, harry is made of sunshine and rainbow sprinkles, and niall sticks his nose into other people's business. also featuring liam as louis's best friend-slash-concerned mother, and zayn as a macaron connoisseur.

• You Come Beating Like Moth’s Wings (81k)

Harry smiles. He's only known Louis for about two hours, knows nothing about him past his first name, but he's nice and sarcastic and helpful and so, so pretty. And Harry's still got a few days left in Barcelona, and he thinks he wouldn't mind spending them with Louis.

Also known as, Harry takes the summer before uni to travel Europe and meets Louis in Barcelona, and they end up traveling together.

• Hold Me Closer (36.5k)

Louis Tomlinson is one of the most promising dancers of the English National Ballet, on track to become the youngest principal dancer in the company's history. That is, until forces conspire to significantly complicate his life, including: a surprise ballet, an unfairly attractive guest choreographer, and being pushed into a rivalry with his best mate. Featuring lots of wine, dancing, pining, and a happy ending.

• In Vogue (121k)

Fashion AU. Louis is the editor in chief of Vogue magazine, and Harry's running British GQ. Featuring Zayn as the crazy creative director and Louis' confidant, Liam as the sports writer that gets to sit front row at fashion week and DJ Neil as the only sane person in the whole story. (There are no skinny jeans in this fic)

• These Things Will Never Change for Us at All (1.5k)

The room falls silent as they stay wrapped up in each other. Harry can feel Louis’ soft breaths on his neck, and he almost thinks Louis’ fallen asleep until he says softly, “How did you know you were in love with me?”

Or, Harry and Louis look back on five years.

• A Runaway American Dream (15k)

AU. they take route 66 with only each other and their secrets.

• Things Have Gotten Closer to the Sun (49k)

it’s strange, making the choice to face his past—it almost feels like he’s heading for the sun straight on, like he’s screaming come on and burn me, i deserve it.

when a solar flare is announced to end the world in twelve days, harry reunites with the people that he used to know better than the back of his own hand.

• Here (in your arms) (60k)

the one where Louis is a successful real estate agent and Harry works at a retirement home. They’ve never had a real home. Up until now.

(Starring Liam Payne as a fitness trainer, Zayn as an artist, and Niall, who busks.)

• These Inconvenient Fireworks (190k)

Future AU in which nobody tries out for X Factor but the boys end up finding one other eventually anyway. Louis is a jaded bastard who owns a cat named Duchess and teaches drama to teenagers, Harry is an idealistic aspiring photographer/part-time footy coach, Zayn teaches English lit and wears leather jackets, Liam saves people from burning buildings, and Niall is Niall.

• In Dreams (23k)

AU. When Harry moves to a new city, his new flat come with a number of sweet, anonymous gifts and surprises that brighten his days. Could it be a friendly ghost? Another friendly presence in his new building is his tattooed neighbor, Louis, who seems determined to put a smile back on his face.

• My Heart is Breathing for this Moment in Time (160k)

When Louis first saw Harry at the 2010 X Factor Auditions, he thought he was watching a peculiarly special stranger. But Harry has known Louis ever since he was five years old. Because Louis has a rare genetic disorder that causes him to Time Travel to important moments in his past and in his future - and to Harry, always to Harry. When they’re put into a band together, it seems like everything Harry has been waiting and wishing for has finally come true. Except for the small fact that Louis doesn’t know that Harry is in love with him- that Harry’s always been in love with him. Fate, it would seem, is just getting started.

A story about growing up and growing together, and the impossible love that makes it all worthwhile.

• Paint the Sky with Stars (63k)

On 10 April 1912, Harry Styles boards the finest ship the world has ever seen. Still grieving the death of their mother, he and his sister are being sent to America to live with a callous uncle who cares more about his business connections than family. Harry prepares himself for a long, disappointing voyage alone in his stateroom. Louis Tomlinson has borrowed and saved, and finally has enough to purchase a Third Class ticket to America. With all of his belongings in a single ruck sack, he boards the Titanic filled with hope for a brighter future. Never one to sit still, he can’t resist exploring the massive ship, and soon goes sneaking into First Class in a stolen steward’s uniform. By a twist of fate, Louis finds himself in Harry’s stateroom, entranced by the most attractive man he’s ever laid eyes on. He keeps returning day after day, even if he doesn’t understand what it is about Harry that continues pulling him in. That’s all right; Louis has a week to figure it out, and Harry is plenty willing to help. Except they don’t have a week. They have four days. Because on 15 April, their entire world will be turned upside down.

Or, the historically accurate Titanic AU with a happy ending.

• Through Eerie Chaos (102k)

For as long as anyone can remember, Old Hillsbridge Manor has always been believed to be haunted. Everyone in the village agrees and keeps a respectful, fearful, distance. New in town after a bad breakup and an internship that led to disappointment rather than a permanent job, Harry Styles figures taking pictures of the decrepit building could be a great new creative project. Or at least a much-needed distraction while he searches for a job and crashes at his parents’ new house. No one warned him about the apparitions though; about the music, the laughter, the people who flicker and vanish when you call after them, the echoes of a past that should be long gone… Harry has never believed in spirits but even he can admit that there’s something weird going on. What starts as mere curiosity evolves into a full-blown investigation and soon enough, Harry finds himself making friends with an aristocrat from the 1920s and struggling with finding the best way to tell him that he’s dead.

The Ghost Hunter AU where Niall lives to prove ghosts are real, Zayn is a skeptical librarian and Harry gets caught up in a century-old mystery and catches feeling in the process.

#whew!#favorite fics #grey

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utterlyinevitable · 4 years ago

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Ode and Ethan are so cute together, my heart could burst 💓

More questions coming your way

Who says I love you first? How long into the relationship? How does it happen?

How far into the relationship do they move in together?

How do they celebrate Ethans 40th?

Whats the most special gift they have given each other?

What do they love most about each other? Do they have any pet peeves?

Do they always work together? Does Ode surpass Ethan in the medical world?

Did E make up with Louise in this universe? Of so what does she think of Ode?

♥️

> ask me anything <

Yay! Okay here we go!!!!!

So my initial reaction is... neither of them actually ever says it. They feel it and they’re secure enough to just know. They have this little head jerk and eyebrow raise that basically is their way of saying “i love you” which they do all the time. Just a silent recognition without giving too much away to those around them. But eventually like 10ish months into it it’s said out loud as an off shoot. Wasn’t meant to come out but it did ever so naturally.

How it comes out? ...................... this literally took me three days to figure out:

Ode says it first. On a phone call. She didn’t mean to say it, it just slipped out with her goodbye of “alright. love you. bye”. She didn’t even realize she said it until hours later when she was replaying the conversation, mentally checking off that she has all the things they agreed upon before she heads home.

After residency Ode and all her friends go separate ways so she needs to move into a smaller apartment. Ethan extended an offer to stay with him for a while until she finds a place (with the subtext of forever), even saying she could have the second bedroom since it’s been practically hers anyway. But Ode diplomatically declined; they’ve only been together for five months and she’s still so fearful that they’re going to fuck this up somehow. They’ve only just started having sex. So she gets herself her first solo place with one bedroom in the same neighborhood near the hospital.

They move in together when her 16 month lease is up. By then there wasn’t a doubt in her mind anymore. She loved her little third floor walk up and the independence that came with it, but nothing could beat the views at Ethan’s place, and it’s always felt a little bit like home.

So Ethan’s 40th happens before they get together. And true to form he doesn’t want to do a damn thing. But “40 is practically mid life crisis territory and he’s due for a breakdown” (as Jackie put it). So Ode, Sienna and Kyra work together to plan the most elaborate single person party. Because Ethan is such a devout patron of the arts, BOH (after much southern belle pitching from o and k) agree to perform an abridged version of Ethan’s favorite opera at their small rehearsal theatre. Sienna makes a majority of the dinner, all Ethan’s proclaimed favorites for meal, cocktail and dessert. Ode is on getting him to actually turn up. He knows she’s planning something and wants no part of it but goes along because this is “payback for my birthday”. He’s absolutely confused as to why they’re driving out of Boston.

In the atrium is set up as a cocktail hour with a handful of Ethan’s close friends and his dad - the people who want to celebrate him. 40 minutes later the people clear out and it’s just Ode and Ethan (siennas waiting on standby to drive ode home) making their way into the performance area where there’s dinner and dessert under a klosh at a single solitary table. Ethan’s speechless As ode explains the scene they’ve walked into. He sits, she pours him a drink, says happy birthday as the music of the show starts to play and goes to leave.

“You’re not staying?”

“You said you wanted to be alone.”

“Alone and at home. Not alone watching ten people perform.”

She shoots him a look and Ethan stands to look for a second chair.

“Siennas waiting to drive me home.”

“Tell her to join. It’s the least I can do since she made much too much food for one human.”

The three of them have a lovely evening. And if Ethan wasn’t fully cognizant of the fact he loves her, he sure as hell is now. Who else would do this? For him???

The most special gift Ode’s gotten from Ethan is the keyboard. Figuring out her feelings and falling for Ethan was a great inspiration to get her to start writing again. Much to some of her roommates dissatisfaction when the girl forgot to plug headphones in at stupid o’clock.

His most prized gift actually wasn’t something she’s gotten him - over the years she’s given him make shift things, ties and cufflinks, books but nothing as special as what her dad gave him when they visited him for the first time as a couple. It was a small photo album of ode from her teen years and through college. He didn’t even recognize her in a few - sitting on a table in ripped skinny jeans with wild hair and a guitar on her lap. She’s looking at the camera out of the corner of her eyes - singing something with mouth wide open and corners turned in a smile. There’s a spark in her eyes he recognizes but the one he knows it miles duller. He likes this side of her. Wonders what happened. And wants to make her feel like that happy go lucky girl every day for the rest of forever.

Ethan loves her compassion and level-headedness when it matters, and ofc that she has so many skills and talents he keeps uncovering. Wants to spend the rest of his life finding out about. He also really loves the creases at the corner of her eyes. She won’t agree they’re crows feet - she’s much too young for that atm. But he loves them because they make her eyes all the more expressive.

Ode loves his intelligence but also his gentleness. Once you get past that coarse, jaded Ramsey front he’s such a soft bean. She likes how they can talk for hours or just sit in companionable silence. There’s no expectations that need to be fulfilled with him outside of work and it’s the healthiest relationship she’s been in.

They both hate how stubborn the other can be. He hates how she leaves teabags all over the kitchen when the garbage is right there. She hates how anal he is about cleanliness and clutter. But how he can’t seem to get all his socks in the hamper - there’s always some hiding around back.

No, they don’t always work together. Ode is on the DT for another year before getting a research opportunity to write about the most interesting cases they’ve come across, alongside Ethan. He declined the title credit, but helped with the research. She dedicated her first book to him.

The more recognition she started to get in the medical world press, the more people uncovered her musical past. It was a bit jarring to have to talk about that small part of her life when she gave a keynote on new technologies in diagnostics medicine for the digital age. So much so that she got a call from her publishing house and SESAC. Basically to push her to do a one-off gig and see if she’s interested in remastering and a couple synch and derivative deals. Her first response was ‘i’m really busy and it’s been over a decade’. But after aimlessly wandering around their apartment and eventually sitting down to play, fighting a war within her, Ethan pushes her to do it.

She certainly surpasses Ethan in the medical world, but not for the reasons he’s known for. She ends up marrying her love of music with medicine and becomes a viral sensation. A new-age doctor for the on-demand generations.

No, I don’t think he does make up with Louise. not really. Ethan’s cordial but doesn’t want anything else to do with her. He doesn’t became a brat when Alan brings her up, though. He respects his dad enough - with the help of Ode - to pretend to be a three-piece family. Ode actually told Ethan that it probably isn’t a good idea that he brings her to rehab - she suggested scheduling a therapy session at the rehab to try and work things through when everyone’s minds have had time to settle. Ethan told her he’d rather rip the band-aid off so they drive her together.

Louise is skeptical - she doesn’t like the idea of someone influencing her son. Yeah, the girl is pretty but who tf is she? Alan says Ethan’s been single and no chance of dating as he’s much too restless for that. Months after being released from rehab and sticking around the Providence-area, Louise tries to get back in contact. She has a job and she’s been clean ever sense. She and Alan talk every now and then but no chance of repairing the family. Louise is there for lunch when Ode and E drive up for the weekend. It’s a whole rush of emotions for E again, and Ode is oddly hopeful, wanting to make the best of the situation. Louise sees the way the ramsey men look at her and she has no choice but to get on board.

as always, thank you for these. I love them and you so so much ♥️

#Anonymous #asked #Ethan x Mc #Odette hall #a freaking ESSAY #hit me with some more 😆

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azaffranist · 5 years ago

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Of things that are permanent: an analysis of the original theme of Frozen 2

As we all know, Frozen 2’s development was strained. Multiple rewrites happened involving both the prologue and the ending, and we discover new deleted scenes and lines with each day that passes as animators release unused clips. But today, because I love to overanalyze things that didn’t even make it into the movie, we’re gonna talk about the original ending where Elsa died permanently, and what it meant for the general theme of the movie. The original ‘morals’ of the story. Which, in my opinion, would’ve differed quite a bit with those of the final movie.

Frozen is first and foremost a story about love. F1 revolutionizes what people knew as ‘true love’ by showing that romantic love is not the one that saved the day during the Whiteout, but the love between two sisters and their tragic story of separation. Anna, oblivious to the true meaning of love, performed the ultimate act of true love: sacrifice, as she jumped in front of a sword to protect a sister she wasn’t even sure loved her back. Because she believed in her. And this act of selflessness thawed a frozen heart, instead of the Disney kiss we were used to. Therefore, Frozen is simply a lesson about love and the many ways it can manifest itself.

The Frozen 2 we got follows this path. I think most of us can agree that the Frozen 2 we got is about self-love. Show Yourself is an obvious example of this. We watch Elsa cry of joy when she understood that the answers she had been waiting for her whole life… were within her the whole time. She was the one she was waiting for all of her life behind that closed door. All of that pain, all of that suffering throughout those 13 years, they paid off; she finally manages to fully embrace herself and what she is. She answers her call: The Fifth Spirit, connection between the magic world and humans. She’s the “magic” part.

The Next Right Thing is about self-love too, even though it’s not that obvious, and keep this in mind for later. It shows that a loss of that caliber can break the most optimistic of people. We watch Anna cry in grief, wondering if she can manage to see another day pass in a world where her sister and her best friend are no more. The life was sucked out of her. She struggles to breathe and get up. But she does. She takes a step and then another. She loves herself enough to keep going. She loves herself enough to keep going and do the next right thing: first breathe, then take a step, then break a dam. She answers her call, in a different way: The Fifth Spirit, connection between the magic world and humans. She’s the “human” part.

And after they were reborn because of their self-love, each finding a new meaning to their lives albeit in wildly different circumstances, they each do their part. Elsa bravely ventures into the deepest chamber in Ahtohallan and finds the truth. Anna gets up after a soul-wrenching event and breaks the dam. Working together as one.

And it’s because of their self-love that they conquered. That they saved the day.

I think it’s a great theme, super inspiring, and it ties in with F1. Loving someone else and loving yourself. But I don’t think this was the main takeaway of the original F2 we will never see. Of course, the theme of self-love was going to be there; but I think the main theme was another one. One that tied perfectly with the fall aesthetic of the movie.

Let me explain. Frozen 2’s aesthetic is fall, and not just because fall leaves are pretty (even though they sure are!) but because fall is the season of change. Leaves turn red, fall, and then the tree gets new ones. This topic is introduced early on with Some Things Never Change, an upbeat, happy song that hides something crucial: denial. Anna, Olaf, Kristoff and Elsa don’t want things to change. They cling to certain certainties in the hopes that their lives will remain the same. They are deep down terrified of change.

Especially Anna.

And what does that mean in a movie? That things are definitely going to change, of course! Things will do nothing but change! Everything will be different! And this change theme is reflected on the ending of the movie. Anna and Elsa now live in different places. That’s... something that changed. But in this earlier version where Elsa and Olaf died, the message was brutally clear and the change symbolized by the fall theme involved much more than a simple shift in location and roles.

This change... unlike what we got... it hurt the characters. A lot. It was 100% something to dread. It wasn’t positive. And it was permanent.

The final blow to complete this theme and give it a twist is delivered at the lowest point of the movie, and just like in F1, a snowman utters the wisest words to the broken princess. But this time, he was dying, fading away forever.

“Hey Anna. I just thought of one thing that’s permanent.”

And here they play with expectancy. Raise your hand if you thought it was going to be a pretty grim joke and Olaf was going to answer ‘death’, because I sure did. Death is permanent. Olaf is dying there. Olaf finally understands the concept of mortality and he learned of the one, one thing that’s permanent!...

“What’s that?”

“Love.”

And a whole cinema room is crushed, as watchers learn of two things that are permanent, answering a dilemma that had been going through the entire movie. Everything changed and we couldn’t find one thing that stayed the same! But now we knew thanks to this genius play with dialogue. One, death, because everyone’s minds autofilled the answer. C’mon, I’m sure yours did. And the other one, love, because Olaf told us and… it makes so much sense.

What follows is The Next Right Thing. This song was one of the first songs created for the movie and it was inspired by several real world matters. Kristen Bell’s struggle with depression and anxiety as she lends us her mantra to keep going: just doing the next right thing. Andrew Page, who is a music producer involved in F1 and F2, lost his daughter. And Chris Buck’s loss of his son Ryder in October, 2013, a single month before Frozen 1’s worldwide release.

The Next Right Thing is a very real song about very real losses. Kristen Anderson-Lopez said she and her husband wrote this song for them, keeping them and their experiences in mind. And all in all, I think the big theme of Frozen 2 was going to be this exactly.

Death is permanent in the real world. We aren’t living in a fairytale and people don’t magically unfreeze or come back to life. But love is permanent, too.

And love transcends death.

So, no. We’re not sure if Olaf is fully aware of his mortality. He didn’t say ‘death’ after all. But he is aware of something far more important: love as an eternal force, untouched by death.

With this, I think the fall theme comes full circle. The questions are answered. Some things… truly never change. We would’ve been shown that they don’t. We would’ve been shown that even though Elsa and Olaf are dead, forever, Anna’s love for them would never, ever change.

The big theme of Frozen 2, then, would’ve been love too. But it’s a different take. It has a twist to it. It takes a path not many movies, let alone Disney ones, dare to venture into.

Love persisting even after death.

I think this is the reason Elsa originally died. To fulfill the theme of the movie. To show that through self-love one can be reborn and rearrange their life after such a loss. Knowing that one’s love is permanent and using that as a source of strength, fuel to keep going in the face of uncertainty and change.

Leaves turn red, fall, and then the tree gets new ones.

And this idea, I believe, has the most real world applications. Every single person on this planet will experience loss at some point in their lives. But Frozen 2 would’ve clearly shown that it’s possible to keep going. That the tree goes through the harsh winter without leaves, but in spring, they can grow back.

Because we can be sure that something is permanent, and that something is love.

#frozen 2 #frozen #anna #elsa #frozen analysis #frozen 2 analysis #show yourself #the next right thing #frozen 2 deleted scenes #frozen 2 deleted content

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takingcourage · 4 years ago

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Color and Light

Characters: Thomas Mendez, MC (Allison), and MC’s daughter (Kira)

Word Count: 2,400

Summary: With Luz away and Allison occupied for the morning, Thomas has a special strategy to pass the time with Kira.

Note: I’ve been wanting to write a story about Thomas and MC’s daughter for ages. The lack of scenes between them is one of the very few complaints I have about MotY, so I thought I’d fill in a little bit of that gap with this fic. It was originally intended to fulfill a Choices August Challenge (kaleidoscope), but life got hectic in August and it this story was pushed to the back burner. All of that to say, the summer setting and inspiration for this story aren’t quite as random as they may seem.

I hope you enjoy! Thanks so much for reading. : )

Crick.

Crack.

Thomas's stride broke as he became aware of the noise. Brow furrowing as he continued toward the kitchen, he mentally filtered through the possible causes: pipes, dishwasher, trash compactor... He was relatively certain that he hadn’t left anything running after making Allison’s coffee a half hour before. Whatever was happening in the kitchen must be taking place without his influence.

Bracing himself, he rounded the corner.

Though the room had no windows, the morning light still made its way into the space, relieving his fears before he'd even had a chance to flip the switch back on.

Nothing.

There was no burst pipe, no invading animal waiting to jump out at him from the countertops, nothing at all out of the ordinary.

It was the ice maker, he realized in relief.

Thomas couldn’t recall the last time the house had been quiet enough for him to make out the background noises. With Luz around, there was always music or the television or the steady thud of soccer drills against the outside wall...With a quick shake of his head, he padded to the other end of the silent kitchen to brew a second carafe of coffee.

The air conditioner was working; he could hear the distinct hum from the upstairs unit keeping the house a pleasant 74 degrees. Soledad had chosen the best. Almost fifteen years in this house, and it had never needed more than routine maintenance to keep things perfectly cool.

And yet, there was no mistaking the sheen breaking out on the back of his neck.

Stress had been mounting for the past twenty minutes -- ever since Allison had kissed him and slipped through the front door. Ordinarily, he'd be lacing his running shoes by now, determined to master the involuntary responses that his body was lapsing into. Today, he needed to work through it in another way.

Thomas glanced at the microwave clock, performing the calculations as he opened the refrigerator door to retrieve milk and a pair of eggs. Kira had gone to bed around 9:00 the night before. Based on the many nights she'd stayed over at the house since the start of summer, she’d wake up to join him any minute. Hot sweat returned with the confirmation.

This was hardly the first day he’d spent alone with a ten year old. It certainly wasn’t the only time he’d been with Kira without Allison there. But it was the first morning he’d spent without Luz serving as a buffer. Somehow, ten years of experience with one child hadn’t left him feeling prepared to take on the other.

He was a lawyer and a recovering workaholic, for goodness sake -- hardly the sort of person a preteen girl wanted to spend the day with.

Lowering the lid on the waffle maker, his eyes glazed over as the steam rose from between the metal plates. He bit down on the inside of his cheek, finally glancing away when the indicator light flickered on.

A creak sounded from the bottom of the stairs, and his heart flew into his throat. He cast a quick glance around the room before peering across the counter to the house’s other occupant.

“Morning, Kira,” he greeted, voice sounding mostly normal. “How’d you sleep?”

“Fine. That bunk bed is really comfortable."

“Great!” His response was a little too hasty. Pulling himself back, he topped off his mug of coffee, blew, and watched the wave ripple over the glassy surface. “I took a gamble and made some waffles for breakfast. Does that sound okay to you?”

Kira looked at the metal contraption with a curious half-smile. “It sounds delicious!”

“With orange juice?”

“Mmhmm, thank you,” she confirmed, already climbing onto a barstool. “Did my mom leave for class?”

Thomas snagged a plate from the overhead cabinet and used a pair of tongs to extract a perfectly golden-brown waffle from the mold. “She headed out about half an hour ago,” he answered before sliding her breakfast across the countertop.

Kira’s face puckered with disappointment. “She doesn’t usually leave so early; I thought I’d be up in time to see her.”

“She had to run an errand on the way," he explained. "Do you need to talk to her? You can borrow my phone if you want.”

Food forgotten, she set the syrup upright, its contents slowly oozing back down toward the bottom of the bottle. “That would be great! I wanted to wish her luck on her test.”

Passing her the device, he turned to give her some privacy. By the time he’d rinsed the mixing bowl and unplugged the waffle maker, Kira had composed the message.

“Keep in in case she texts back,” he suggested, reaching for his coffee again.

“Thanks.” She went back to pouring syrup, alternating squares in the waffle until she’d achieved a checkerboard effect.

Concealing his raised brow, Thomas took another sip of his drink. The two girls could not be more different. With Luz, it was always a challenge to keep her from using half the bottle. Kira’s measured approach was far less troubling by comparison. If the girls already fought like real sisters, they complemented one another perfectly as well. He’d lost track of the number of times that one girl’s vice had been counteracted by the other’s virtue.

Yet another sign that this is meant to be.

The phone screen came to life before their eyes, and Kira tapped to view her mother’s message. “She got it in time.” With a grin, she handed it back to Thomas. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome.” Based on the angle, there was no way for him to take it without casting an eye over the messages.

Good luck, mom! You’ve got this!⚡️

Thanks! Love you, kiddo. ⚡️

Something within him melted on reading the exchange, though the sensation was quickly replaced by something far less pleasant: fear.

Allison knew Kira so well. It was one of the things that had stood out to them when they’d first met, and it had only become more abundantly clear in the months that had followed. And while Guy didn’t take much of an interest in his daughter’s life, Kira still seemed to thrive on the time they spent together. In short, she already had two parents. Where did that leave him?

Sighing as he slide the phone back into his pocket, he walked around to the other side of the kitchen so he could join her at the counter.

“Thanks for making breakfast,” she acknowledged as he sat down. “You didn’t have to do that for me.”

“I wanted to. It’s not often that the two of us get to have time together.”

Kira met his eyes with an amused smile. "True, but Luz is going to be jealous when she finds out we had waffles.”

“We’ll make them again when she gets back,” he promised, feeling the anxiety stir his stomach again. Breakfast was easy. If the rest of the morning ran as smoothly, it would be a miracle.

Kira cut another bite and chewed thoughtfully. "You're really good at it. The machine my mom has always burns the middles. Yours are better,” she whispered, green eyes narrowing with the conspiratorial whisper.

“Maybe we should buy her a new machine one of these days.”

Swallowing her bite, Kira regarded him with a creased brow. “But she can just use yours -- we’re over all the time! And it would be silly to buy another one when you’re just going to get married.”

Thomas could only hope that the girl wasn't perceptive enough to notice the way his cheeks darkened at the suggestion. He forced a sip of coffee down and tried to counteract his mortification. “What makes you think we’re getting married?”

“Luz told me she found a ri--” her face froze. “Nevermind. I don’t know anything. Forget I said that.”

Sensing an opportunity, Thomas pressed her further. “Do you want us to get married?”

"Yeah." The corner of her mouth lifted as her eyes crinkled. “Mom’s really happy when she’s with you, and Luz and I would get to be sisters for real! It would be perfect.”

He smiled in agreement before deciding it would be prudent to change the subject. “How should we spend the rest of our morning?”

Inadvertently, the question came just as she’d placed another forkful of waffle into her mouth. Thomas offered a repentant chuckle as she worked over the bite of food, though she didn’t seem to hold it against him.

“I brought a book,” she informed him after swallowing. “I can be super quiet while you’re working. Oh! Or do you have a case I can help with? I could read tracking numbers to you again if you want.”

“Actually,” he began, growing almost shy with the suggestion, “I was hoping you might be up for a science project today -- whatever you like.” He set his near-empty cup on the marble surface, hoping he hadn’t misstepped.

“Really?” Her eyes flashed to life again, scrunching up at the corners in exactly the same way Allison’s did when she was passionate about something. Even if he’d never met her mother, the girl’s expression would have been impossible to resist.

“Really. It would be fun to make something we can show your mom when she gets back this afternoon.”

“And Luz, when she gets back from soccer camp!”

“And Luz,” he added with a grin. He wondered vaguely if the two girls would be so eager to see each other once they were living under the same roof all of the time. “I’ll let you decide on a project while I clean up from breakfast. Doesn’t matter what it is.”

“Okay!” she took a pensive bite while he walked back around to the kitchen. “You’re sure it can be anything?”

“Uhhh,” he wavered, remembering too well the sorts of things that ten-year-old girls were capable of when there were no boundaries. It’s Kira, he had to remind himself. At worst, we’re looking at a bunsen-burner fire or some kind of mild chemical reaction. “Anything,” he confirmed after a pause.

“Okay, I figured it out,” she announced moments later as he was wiping down the countertops.

“And...?”

“I wanna make a kaleidoscope!”

“Sounds perfect, though I think we’ll need to go on a supply run. Can you make a list?”

She held out one hand to begin ticking items on her fingers. “Well, I’ve already got confetti for the bottom. Faye gave me a bunch from one of her promo boxes and told me to use it for something cool. If we can run by our apartment, I know exactly where it is. After that, we’ll need some PVC pipe, mirrors, a glass cutter, a petri dish....” Still bending her fingers, she paused for further consideration.

“You’ve really thought about this, haven’t you?”

“I’ve wanted to make one for forever!” Catching herself, she backpedaled a bit. “If you’re sure it’s okay...”

“I have one condition...” Squeezing the excess water from the towel, he draped it over the faucet to dry. Kira’s eyes were glued to him when he turned, her brows slanted with something approaching consternation. “You have to explain what you’re doing each step of the way so I know how it works.”

Her mouth fell open for a beat before snapping shut again. “Sure!”

This time, the smile that came to Thomas’s face was a little more confident. So far, so good.

_____

For the next several hours, all worries were in vain. There were no awkward silences or stumbling uncertainties. Each minute was consumed with questions and explanations, safety tutorials for cutting glass, excited strategizing, and careful construction. They’d just started clearing up their lunch dishes when Allison’s key clicked in the lock.

“Mom!” Kira rushed to finish loading her plate in the dishwasher. “How was your test?” Her whole face was lifted in anticipation.

“I passed with a 96%.”

“You’re so smart, mom!”

Retrieving the elastic band from her wrist, Allison swept her hair into a loose bun at the nape of her neck. “And you’re so sweet. Thanks for the energy zap this morning.”

“Welcome! Do you wanna see what Thomas and I made?”

At Allison’s eager nod, Kira led her to the den. Thomas stayed behind until the rest of the dishes were in the machine, content to hear their lively chatter a couple of rooms away.

When he joined them, Allison was waiting by the arched doorway. “Kira’s never going to forget this. I can’t thank you enough.”

"The pleasure was mine. And I have to admit, it was a very educational day for me. I didn’t realize how rusty I’d gotten in geometry and physics.”

“She’ll keep your mind sharp, that one.”

“One of the many perks to having the two of you around.”

“Ooh! Look at this!” Kira called out in the closest thing to a shriek that he’d ever heard from her. “The pattern is sooo cool. It looks like a gamma-ray burst!”

Taking the proffered object, he held it to his eye and squinted until he had a proper view. Between the mirrors and the lights, Faye’s bits of paper had taken on new life in a pattern that was at once both uniform and wild. And though he had only the faintest idea what a gamma-ray burst looked like, satisfaction took hold of him as he gazed through the tiny opening.

Since her birth, Luz had been his light. She’d carried him through on the days when he hadn’t even been certain he wanted to go on. For a time, that light had been all he’d needed. But Allison and Kira had brought more to the equation: a beauty, a vibrance, a curiosity and passion for life that he hadn’t even realized he’d been missing. Together, the three of them made for a fuller world than he had ever thought possible.

“Did you know they’re the brightest explosions in the universe?”

“I didn’t,” he whispered, careful not to shift the design as he passed the cylinder back to Kira.

Thomas settled next to Allison, her shoulder a comfortable weight against his while they listened to the enthusiastic science lesson that followed. As her fingers sought his, Thomas’s thoughts drifted (ever so slightly) to the ring Luz had found a few days before. If all went the way he was hoping, his home -- and his life -- would never be colorless again.

#playchoices #playchoices fanfiction #mother of the year #thomas mendez #thomas mendez x mc

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flightfoot · 4 years ago

Text

Scarlet Fever Analysis 2: Salt Fighting

AO3

Note: this contains spoilers for all of Scarlet Fever

Scarlet Fever addresses and shuts down salt in many ways, showing where it might have a point, but fighting back when that point is taken too far.

This is usually done through two particular mouthpieces - Master Fu and Princess Justice, though other characters do bring up salt arguments and scenarios as well.

Master Fu’s main problems stem from not trusting Adrien enough, from having so little faith in him, treating him like an afterthought, a sidekick. He largely represents the Adrien salters who think he’s incompetent and unworthy of attention, that he’s useless without Ladybug and only exists to be her bodyguard - and that since that’s his role, he deserves no accolades for fulfilling it.

From the beginning, Master Fu has some misgivings about Adrien being Paris’s main protector, without Marinette around to help.

Tikki floated forward to respond but Master Fu held out his palm to stop her. "The last time you used the Ladybug Miraculous you had her help!"

Adrien looked down. "I know... That's why we need her back." He looked up in determination as he put on the earrings. "If I had so much trouble with them then we can't just choose anyone else and we can't wait." (Chapter 2)

Master Fu is doubtful here that Adrien’s up to the task, since he wasn’t quite up to it last time. Which… fair. Adrien struggled in Reflekdoll, with Marinette ultimately telling him how to use his Lucky Charm.

But Adrien’s counterargument is also important. It shifts the conversation from the implication that “Adrien is incompetent as Ladybug” to “Marinette is the best at being Ladybug, but failing that, Adrien is the second best choice since he has some experience as Ladybug and a lot as a Miraculous Wielder more generally”.

Credit to Master Fu, he doesn’t argue with Adrien on this front, doesn’t try to stop him. Adrien IS the best option available to wield the Ladybug Miraculous.

There’s some salt about Adrien being dumb and unable to use the Ladybug effectively, but Scarlet Fever shuts that down. Yes, it’s not as natural a fit for Adrien as it is for Marinette, but that’s because of how uniquely suited Marinette is for the Ladybug, not because Adrien is especially bad at using it - and when push comes to shove, he can use it very effectively.

That’s only the beginning of Master Fu’s doubt in Adrien and skepticism of his choices, however. He isn’t especially happy when Adrien brings Sabine back to their base.

"He also said you were the one to ask about Marinette," Sabine continued.

Master Fu stumbled in shock and turned his head from Sabine to Adrien and back again. "The situation is... complicated."

"She deserves to know, Master," Adrien insisted, he'd wrapped the tarp around himself like a shawl, revealing his eyes but keeping his face covered.

"It is not the time!" Master Fu chastised. "With Papillon Écarlate gaining strength we must focus on- Are you listening to me?" (Chapter 3)

This passage parallels one of the arguments about Syren, one of the conflicts. In that episode, there was an undertone of Adrien having the right to know some of the Miraculous-related stuff, enough to know what was going on with Ladybug at least, and Fu delaying because it supposedly wasn’t the right time. It’s fitting to see that argument rear up again, especially since Adrien’s “right to know” stuff comes up so often, with how he’s left out of the loop so much and how that hurts.

Fu’s resistant to trusting Adrien’s instincts in general, not even wanting to let him decide who to give a Miraculous to, wanting to wait until Ladybug’s freed so SHE can decide. It takes an outside authority - the Lucky Charm - to persuade Fu, rather than having some faith in Adrien’s choices.

"We can still free Ladybug," Master Fu insisted. "Then she can decide who to bestow with a Miraculous."

Adrien shook his head. "My Lucky Charm said I needed Kagami."

"... The Lucky Charm said to give Kagami the Black Cat?"

"... Yes! I don't know if it's to bring My Lady back to us or some other reason but I know that we need Kagami! And I know I need to hurry!"

Master Fu stared at his Chosen intently. "If that is our best course of action," he conceded. (Chapter 3)

The complete reliance on Marinette to fulfill the auxiliary duties of a Miraculous Wielder, the unwillingness to consider that Adrien may also be able to perform some of the same roles well, like choosing wielders, is something I’ve seen crop up in salt repeatedly.

It comes to a head with Sabine and Fu arguing, Fu claiming that Adrien isn’t good enough while Sabine counters, defending Adrien.

"I had to train Marinette! I could not stop simply to scold Chat Noir every time he erred! Adrien has made too many mistakes!"

"Isn't it a teacher's job to correct his students? Maybe you should have trained Adrien too instead of expecting my daughter to do everything herself!" Sabine challenged.

"It was too dangerous!" Master Fu retorted. "Marinette proved herself! I couldn't let Adrien in when he did not earn it!

Sabine stared at this man older than her father and realized he knew nothing of adolescents. "... Trading his wellbeing for my daughter's may not make him trustworthy in your eyes," she stressed. "But it does in mine." (Chapter 6)

One of the salt arguments I’ve heard is that Adrien hasn’t “proven” himself worthy of having more information, more of a role in the process, of having the same sort of information and authority as Marinette. Him just fulfilling his role as a superhero, protecting Paris and protecting Ladybug so she can restore everything, even at the cost of his own life, isn’t seen as enough (and is sometimes even seen as him manipulating her somehow).

But Sabine’s the voice of reason, fighting back. She doesn’t have the same sort of unreasonable, unmanageable expectations that Fu does - if she did Marinette would probably be joining Adrien in the “awful parent” club.

Instead, she holds Adrien to the same sort of standard that she would Marinette. He’s trying to help, has sacrificed himself again and again for Marinette’s sake, for Paris’s sake. He is a Hero of Paris. That’s all he needs to be. He’s more than proved his trustworthiness, shown that he should be given the same sort of respect that Marinette gets.

Princess Justice is not so easily reasoned with.

She represents a specific character in saltfics, the most important one by design - the one the world’s warped around.

Saltinette.

It’s pretty apparent in her accusations against the heroes, in the accusations against others more generally.

"What of Papillon's Judgment!" Maneki-neko demanded as they sped towards the Seine. She held tight to the struggling villain as she attempted to get through to Marinette. "Will you absolve him of his crimes against Paris! Against your friends!"

"What friends!?" Princess Justice roared. She opened her bag and spun. The dust engulfed them, entering Kagami's eyes and distracting her long enough for the villain to break free.

Princess Justice struck at the hero, Maneki-neko barely deflecting her attacks. Every sentence punctuated by the crack of her whip. "They abandoned me! They chose that liar over me! They will all suffer like I have! They will all feel my pain! Every! Last! ONE!" (Chapter 5)

Saltfics frequently exaggerate the “sins” of Marinette’s friends and family, from merely having some doubt in her (based on both accusations and actual evidence, albeit planted evidence) into actively shunning her - something that doesn’t happen in the show for more than a few minutes at best, and which Alya doesn’t even entertain.

But the part that’s most telling? Her desire to inflict pain on them in return. Not merely to persuade them that Lila’s wrong, but to actively want them to suffer for the impertinence of being conned.

The revenge plot is a staple of saltfics, often focusing on punishing the people Lila fooled even above punishing Lila. On inflicting pain on the people who “failed” Marinette when they should have believed her and followed what she said unquestioningly, no matter what evidence or accusations were thrown her way, without a hint of doubt or consideration for Lila’s words.

Marinette notably does NOT do this. Even in Silencer she wants justice because of Bob stealing her design and Kitty Section’s music, but emphatically does NOT pursue revenge, trying to get Silencer to back down because anything he did to Bob WOULD be vengeance, not justice. She even tells Chat as much when he suggests letting Silencer MAKE Bob confess the truth.

If she isn’t willing to let that happen to Bob, someone who did indeed knowingly wrong her and her friends without remorse, she CERTAINLY wouldn’t want to inflict vengeance on people whose main crime was being tricked, something that Mister Bug calls Princess Justice out on.

"You've always been forgiving!" Mister Bug reminded her desperately. "Always the one to point out what's unjust! You said that we should strive for Justice not Revenge! This! All of this! Is Revenge!" (Chapter 5)

Of course, she isn’t exactly in a headspace where she’s able to listen to him.

Instead she fights him, accusing him of common salt complaints against him.

"Chat Noir!" She slammed them into the side of a building, gratified to hear his cries. "You are accused!"

Adrien felt his heart pounding in fear. He knew what the verdict would be.

"Accused of being Unworthy!"

"Plagg disagrees." The throbbing impact of the bench on his head hurt less than the impact of her words on his heart. (Chapter 5)

Adrien frequently has the Black Cat Miraculous taken from him in saltfics for one reason or another, declared unworthy of possessing it. Canonically of course none of the heroes would even consider that (except Adrien himself, funnily enough), and the one whose opinion on his “worthiness” matters most - Plagg - has declared Adrien to be the best Chat Noir he ever had, both thinking he’s a good hero AND also caring about him deeply, helping to cheer him up whenever Adrien’s hurt.

"Accused of holding Ladybug back!" She ground him on the underside of a bridge as they flew past.

His chest tightened and he forced air into his lungs. The friction of stones on his back burned less than her barbs. "First I've heard of it." (Chapter 5)

Chat Noir’s also accused of being useless a lot, of Ladybug being better off without him. Something that has been shown to not be the case time and time again. Furthermore she’d never WANT to be without him - that was shown in the NY special. That she didn’t know she could even fight without him by her side.

"Accused of treating the lives of Paris like some game!"

His eyes widened. "Never!" (Chapter 5)

This salt mostly stems from Syren, though it crops up more generally with Chat Noir cracking jokes during akuma battles. But while he jokes or gets upset, it never distracts him from fighting the akuma for long, if at all. Plus, it’s a way of coping with the situation. Getting too bogged down and not having any fun along the way can lead to MORE mistakes, as Gamer 2.0 demonstrated.

"Accused of getting in her way! Of always expecting her to save you without regard for how getting brainwashed affects her!" She ricocheted between two trees before she had to evade his companions.

"I was protecting you!" He jerked them away from the lamppost she was about to crush his back against. "You think I want to fight you!? I hate being brainwashed! I'm terrified of it!" (Chapter 5)

Yep, this is, for some reason, an actual salt accusation towards Chat to show how he’s a horrible person: that he gets hurt and brainwashed for her sake too often and doesn’t think about how she feels about needing to save him, making him a horrible person.

"I had to ask you to help me before you did anything!" Princess Justice launched herself at him with a kick.

"... What?" Mister Bug was snapped out of his thoughts by her words. He grabbed her foot and used her momentum to spin her away, head over heel.

She righted herself, the butterfly mark flaring back up, and charged again. "Right before Damocles expelled me, you said nothing until I asked you to!"

He used his forearms to block her strikes as a familiar rage started burning through his veins. "You're... angry because I helped you? When you asked for it!?" He ducked under her blow and brought his fist into an uppercut.

"I shouldn't have to ask!" She barely twisted out of the way in time as she failed in her attempt to knee him in the face. "You are Unworthy!" Princess Justice accused. (Chapter 9)

Yep, this is an actual accusation that’s thrown at Adrien for the events of “Ladybug”; that after Marinette opens the locker and Lila’s necklace falls out, he processes for a few seconds and intervenes once Marinette asks him for help. It takes 15 seconds from the time Lila picks the necklace up to Adrien intervening (with most of that time taken up by Marinette talking), but a quarter of a minute is an unforgivable delay for salters.

As for not helping until she asked for it (though Adrien didn’t have much of a window in which to intervene before she requested assistance)... that’s not always a bad thing. It’s not what MARINETTE does, but that doesn’t always work out. Often it IS a good idea to wait until someone gives an indication that they want the help before intervening, because that intervention may end up only making things worse. Adrien knows that well enough when it comes to his father - Nino wasn’t able to persuade him to allow Adrien to have a birthday party, and was subsequently barred from the house as a “bad influence”. Worse may have happened if he pushed further, ESPECIALLY to Adrien, whom Gabriel has authority to punish.

Adrien can only take so much of this, so much of being slandered, of having every potential fault magnified a thousandfold while his own feelings and views of the situations are completely disregarded before he SNAPS.

"I was betrayed!" She swung a right hook at him. "My whole world crashed down around me!" And a left. "Who are you to Judge me, oh Chat Blanc!" The villain sneered.

And Mister Bug's control snapped.

"So sorry grieving over my dead mother isn't good enough to get AKUMATIZED OVER!" (Chapter 9)

Marinette has issues that she’s dealing with, emotional turmoil that she’s going through. But so do others, ESPECIALLY Adrien. She’s not the only one whose feelings matter.

“I forgot! Marinette is the only one whose burdens count!" He stopped suddenly and yanked on his yo-yo.

"What would you know about it!?" She copied him and jerked her whip towards her, the tangled cords beginning to pull free.

"They kept touching ME!" His disgust and shame roared through him and their weapons separated with a snap.

"Then you should have said something instead of letting them walk all over you!" She lashed out with her whip, intending to put an end to this. (Chapter 9)

Adrien’s sneered at for being a spineless doormat, for “letting” people touch him when he’s very clearly trying to get away without just outright telling them to back off. It is something that he needs to work on, but it’s certainly not something to BLAME him for. Especially since it’s doubtful that making a fuss about that sort of thing would’ve been well-received in most of his life. His father would be unlikely to take it well if he objected to a photoshoot on those grounds, for instance.

But he’s not the only one who needs to learn when to confess that something bad has happened to them.

"You're one to talk!" He deflected every strike with his yo-yo, mirrored her every move.

"You're the one who told me not to SAY anything!" Her whip came a hairsbreadth from his ear.

"You never said she threatened you!" His yo-yo barely grazed her bag.

"What difference does it make!?" She charged at him.

"It makes all the difference!" He rose to meet her. (Chapter 9)

This is a key point of contention in a lot of the Chameleon salt that’s directed at Adrien. Often he’s blamed for his advice to Marinette not to continue going after Lila, that it won’t help anything. That so long as he and Marinette knew she was lying, it didn’t really matter.

But that advice was based on the premise that Lila wasn’t an active threat, a danger. That it was merely galling to see her lying, but that she wasn’t causing any active harm by doing so. And while it was theorized that her lies about her status may lead to her making false promises to people, causing them to forgo real opportunities in pursuit of a lie, by the end of season 3 that does not appear to be the case.

Her actively threatening Marinette changes things. If she didn’t pose an actual danger, then it would be irritating to have to listen to her lie, but it doesn’t actually change anything. But with her desire to isolate Marinette? That’s different. Just leaving her be under those circumstances leaves Marinette in peril.

But Adrien DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THAT, and that is not his fault. He could only make decisions and recommendations off of information he possesses. He is not to blame for not being psychic.

Marinette would NOT blame Adrien for these things. Would not try to inflict pain on her friends.

Princess Justice is not Marinette.

Saltinette is not Marinette.

Something that Adrien realizes.

Adrien looked at Princess Justice. Really looked at her. The sneer of her lips, the sadistic gleam in her eyes, the ferocity of her advance. This... This was not Marinette.

The anger made way as Adrien's determination and love rose to merge with it. He broke through her assault and zipped away. The villain giving chase.

Princess Justice was all pain and rage and desire.

The villains on the ground took notice of their approach.

But Marinette was not defined by these things.

Glaciator fired a barrage of ice cream as he moved too close.

Marinette was joy and compassion and longing.(Chapter 9)

Marinette can have negative emotions and make bad decisions like anyone else. But fundamentally she is kind and caring, brings light to those around her, makes their lives better. She doesn’t try to make them miserable and beat every ounce of happiness out of their existence. She values people besides herself, besides what they can do for her, and cares about what they think and feel.

And SHE truly cares about justice.

Princess Justice does not deserve the name. Although she declares herself just, serves as judge, jury, and executioner, she does not keep herself to the standard she holds others too.

Kagami's tail stiffened. "Liar!" Maneki-neko let the villain's whip wrap around her staff and yanked her in. "You're a liar!" Her fist connected with the akumatized supervillain.

Throwing her own punch Princess Justice's eyes narrowed. "Justice doesn't lie!"

Stumbling back, Maneki-neko threw herself forward. "You're not Justice!" She tackled the villain, and they went over the edge of the roof. "You're immune to your own dust! You've been lying since the beginning!" (Chapter 12)

It’s poetic really. For the representation of Saltinette to be an evilized Marinette, one who rains down judgement on others but protects herself from being judged similarly, not even realizing that she’s doing it. Saltinette isn’t Marinette. She’s a twisted version, bereft of reason and her best qualities.

If Saltinette was judging herself the way she judges everyone else? She would be even more furious at Marinette for not doing more to take Lila down, since she knows she’s an active threat and is well-positioned to let people know that she’s lying about being her friend, than she is at Adrien. There would probably be a host of other things she’d judge herself for as well, but what exactly would depend on what space Saltinette occupied in that dynamic. For the only thing that matters to Saltinette is whether something or someone benefits her or whether they cause her any difficulty, nothing else.

Indignation. Princess Justice whirled to face him as her blue eyes narrowed. "You'd turn against me, too? Just like everyone else!? You all turned against me!"

Righteous Fury rumbled in displeasure at its master's agitation, exoskeleton glowing faintly under their feet.

"Disagreeing with you doesn't mean I've turned against you, my Lady," Adrien reasoned. (Chapter 13)

This is key. It’s possible to have fics, to have circumstances where Marinette conflicts with Adrien, Alya, or many others, without anyone being treated as being a horrible person. Sometimes people just disagree, sometimes for good reasons, due to perspective, mindset, or differences in knowledge, for instance. It doesn’t always mean they’ve turned against the other person.

Approaching cautiously, Roi Bug kept a hand close to his yo-yo in case she tried to attack him in earnest. "Revenge isn't Justice. You know that. Remember?"

"... I do." She looked down as another building was hit. "I remember letting the Guilty hurt the Innocent! Letting people who have never shown an ounce of remorse get away scot-free! Showing mercy to people who don't deserve it! Who haven't earned it!" Her gaze turned to him with frustration and anger in her eyes. "That is what I remember!"

He let her rage wash past him. "Mercy is never earned. That's why it's Mercy. Because you don't deserve it. Forgiveness-"

Princess Justice laughed. "Oh, forgiveness! You're really good at that, aren't you? But I'm done forgiving! From now on everyone gets exactly. What. They. Deserve!"

Temper flaring, Adrien shot his hand out toward a girl barely younger than them as she floated past. Face frozen mid-scream. Dark glow proclaiming: Self-righteous. "Is this what they deserve!?"

No, yes, no, yes, no- "Silence!" Princess Justice's whip flew at him again. This time Roi Bug whirled his yo-yo as a shield to deflect it. (Chapter 13)

Forgiveness and mercy can go too far. That is true. But there’s a reason they exist, why they’re generally considered good. Punishment can go too far, can cause more harm than good, especially when taken to insane extremes for minor slights, as Princess Justice and Saltinette do. A LOT of Disproportionate Retribution gets thrown around.

And if merely causing someone some strife was worthy of insane punishment? Few people would pass. Marinette among them.

"I've never harmed an Innocent person in my life!" She slashed her whip in a wide arc.

Bringing out the Monkey's staff and the baseball bat Lucky Charm, he used both weapons to deflect her attack. "Of course, you have! You're human aren't you!?"

"They were all Guilty!" She insisted, agitation causing the sentimonster to rumble as she struck. "They all deserved it!"

Adrien's eyes narrowed. "Did Luka 'deserve' it?"

Flinching, her whip missed its target.

"Or Kagami?" He pressed. "Did she 'deserve' the way you treated her?"

Regret, determination, shame.

"She should know what she's done to you," he whispered.

"... She does."

"No- I- Quiet! Be quiet!" She held her head between her hands as a drum pounded in her skull. "Justice! I am Justice!" (Chapter 13)

Marinette’s inflicted pain on others who have not done something to earn it, Kagami being one of the chief examples, what with her actions towards her in Animaestro and Ikari Gozen. But while what Marinette did those times were WRONG, they do not define her as a person, and do not justify an insane level of disproportionate retribution against her, do not justify writing Marinette off as a human being.

That same courtesy should apply to others as well.

Marinette is different from Princess Justice, from Saltinette, something she aptly demonstrates when she talks to Adrien after being deakumatized.

I-I said some... terrible things to you and I..." Marinette curled her arms around herself. "I didn't mean it." (Chapter 14)

Marinette also fights back against the accusations Princess Justice made, things that Marinette didn’t mean, does not believe, and would never say if she’d been herself.

"You saved me countless times!" His eyes watered as her's did the same. "You saved Paris countless times!" Yellow smoke intruded into his thoughts, helpless to stop the cycle no matter how many Second Chances he got. "It-" Shame choked his throat and he swallowed it back, averting his eyes. "It's about time I started pulling my weight..."

Frowning, Marinette placed her hands over his. "Who... said you weren't pulling your weight?" His silence was answer enough and the guilt cut at her.

Piecing Adrien and Chat Noir together was surprisingly easy when she let herself consider it. Virtues and flaws that made a terrible sort of sense together. Once Marinette understood that he felt just as alone as she did. And Princess Justice threw it all in his face.

"Well, she was wrong!" Marinette snapped. Gripping Adrien's hands firmly as they trembled. (Chapter 14)

Marinette would never say that Chat wasn’t pulling his weight, that he wasn’t good enough. Wouldn’t believe it and would fight back against anyone who hurt her partner that way. She reassures him that he is enough, that he did well, even while he assures her that he doesn’t blame her for what happened and nor would anyone else. That she’s human, and having a moment of emotional weakness, of distress, does not make her bad or unworthy or irresponsible.

Both of them reassuring each other that they don’t need to be perfect. That they are enough. To be kind and forgiving towards themselves.

#ml fanfic analysis #scarlet fever #miraculous ladybug #ml fandom salt #fandom salt

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fictionadventurer · 4 years ago

Note

Have you seen the new little women movie? If so what do you think of it?

My initial thoughts on the movie are here. I just rewatched it for the sake of answering this ask. My thoughts can be summarized as follows:

This is a beautiful movie. So much loving focus on the things and the textures. The clothes are extremely Pinterest-and-Hallmark-movie aesthetic rather than anything remotely resembling history, but it’s hard to mind when every character is wearing three different textures and patterns at all times and giving the eye so much to look at. (Also, I was knitting during rewatch, so the knitwear was especially satisfying).

But I’m still not sure it succeeds as a story. Much like the outfits, there are so many different bits and pieces layered together, with different textures and colors that make it interesting to look at, but I’m not sure they come together into a coherent whole. Individual scenes could be good, but it was hard to connect emotionally to any of the characters when the backstory was chopped up into so many pieces.

I found it easier to differentiate between the past and the present this time--I finally figured out that the golden light is for childhood and the blue light is for adulthood. Noticing that also made me like the ending more, which I’ll get to later.

I liked the dancing scenes a bit less. They were a little less joyful and emotionally uplifting than I remembered. I did find it interesting how Jo and Laurie’s dance at their first meeting turns into a sort of silent film for part of it, until Meg intrudes and brings them back into the real world by telling them about her hurt ankle.

I liked the Meg and John story less. Emma Watson just doesn’t seem very motherly or wifely. However, the ending scene of the silk subplot was very touching and one of the few scenes in the movie that showed the self-giving side of marriage.

I still wish there had been more focus on the virtue development part of the plot--the “Meg falls to vanity” scene falls kind of flat because Laurie is just scolding her for...wearing a fancy dress? In a way that makes it seem like he’s just scolding her for being feminine and liking pretty things. We don’t have the context to make it clear that she’s bending her morals for the sake of being liked. The scene does set up a contrast between Laurie-the-moral-guardian and Laurie-living-a-life-of-vain-pleasure in the very next scene, but it’s not enough to make the Vanity Fair scene work on its own.

And why didn’t the movie have more of Mr. March? Let us see the marriage that has shaped the girls’ ideas of what marriage is supposed to be.

I found it interesting that the devoted spinster Aunt March who believes in marriage as a purely economic concern rejected offers to enter Meg’s wedding dance twice. She keeps herself but missed out on the joy.

I found Amy and Laurie slightly more believable as a couple. Though when Amy has the struggle of “marry for financial gain or marry for love”, it’s rather too convenient that the resolution is that she decides she’s really in love with a different rich guy than the one she was going to marry solely for his money.

Beth was a lesser character than I remembered (both in terms of screen time and emotional impact). However, I did like her role in the story far more because she’s kind of key to some of the themes (which I’ll get to in a moment).

I still hate Jo changing her mind about Laurie. It makes her choice of Bhaer seem like she’s settling for second-best.

Now’s the point where I’m going to talk about the themes and the ending. Which was the primary reason I wanted a rewatch--to clarify my ideas about this movie’s message and resolution.

SPOILERS AHEAD. FAIR WARNING TO ANYONE WHO HAS NOT ALREADY BEEN FRIGHTENED AWAY BY THIS WALL OF TEXT.

This movie is about three things: Marriage, Art and Money. Money is necessary to survive. Marriage and art can both be a source of money, but they are also pursuits that should be entered into out of love.

This movie harps and harps upon the fact that marriage is an economic proposition. It’s the most stable way for a woman to get money. She also gets love, ideally. But where the movie falters is focusing so much on the getting part of marriage and rarely on the giving. Laurie wanted to marry Jo because he wanted to get her love. Jo’s “I’m so lonely” scene specifically has her say that she wants to be loved, but not to love--she wants to receive rather than give. I’m not sure there’s any indication that either Jo or Laurie ever give or give up anything when they finally do enter into matrimony. It seems that they just get who they decide they want. Amy gets a rich husband and gets a man who loves her, but what does she ever give up for him, aside from another man who she also did nothing to love?

The silk scene with Meg and John is one of the few times where we see a married couple giving to each other, rather than focusing on what they get out of it.

Art, too, is a love that can be turned toward money, and most of the characters have this out of balance as well. Jo loves writing, but she wants to be seen as good, and she mostly cares about the money that she gets out of it. Amy gives up art completely when she realizes she’s not a genius. “I’d rather be great or nothing” is the exact opposite of doing art for the love of it--what she cared about was getting praise rather than giving something of herself to the world.

Beth is the only one who understands the giving nature of both love and art. She performs for no one’s praise or payment--she plays because she loves music. She’s the one who gives up her time to bring the donations to the Hummels when her sisters are caught up in their own pursuits. When she gets the piano, her sisters are the ones who are caught up in admiring it as a thing, but she runs off (without any of her sisters even noticing, too caught up in the wealth in front of them) to thank Mr. Lawrence because she recognized the love behind the gift.

Jo starts to understand the importance of love within art after Beth dies. We have the lovely scene of Beth encouraging Jo to do her writing for someone--give of her art. When Jo returns to her writing, the camera beautifully focuses on the For Beth at the head of the manuscript--Jo is not writing this for money or praise, but out of love for her sister.

I like the ending much better than I did before. I can see the golden sunlit ending as the “real” end of the story, because I noticed the lighting trick. When Bhaer is leaving the March house, Jo is standing in the blue light, but Bhaer is in the golden light. It’s as if Jo sees that a life with him could provide the same level of happiness that she knew in childhood.

It’s still odd that her family has to convince her every step of the way that she’s “in love”. But because of the lighting trick, I can more easily believe that she really did want to spend her life with him.

That dumb scene with the publisher is what ruins everything. We had Jo writing her book out of love. We had Jo deciding to give Bhaer a reason to stay. But it’s derailed by this weird focus on money. Jo keeps insisting that she’s “selling” her heroine into marriage, and that she’s willing to sacrifice her artistic vision just because this ending is what sells. I feel like if they’d cut out all that stuff about the contract negotiation--which seems only to have been put in because Gerwig wanted to show off this bit of trivia about Alcott’s business acumen--the ending would have been a million times more coherent on a plot and thematic level.

I can believe that the sunlit ending at Plumfield is Jo reaching happiness by giving of herself to others. Everyone is using art to give to others--Bhaer is teaching music, Laurie’s teaching some kind of drama class, Amy’s teaching painting.

The shot of the gold leaf being stamped onto the cover of Little Women, which had seemed like the final stroke saying “this ending is fiction” now seems to be saying that “this is the way the story really ends.” It’s helped by the fact that after Jo gets the book in her hands, we cut to the image of a group of little girls playing pretend--it’s Jo being satisfied in her book not because it’s her achievement or a source of money, but because she knows it will inspire another generation of little girls. Thus we can have Jo achieving artistic and personal fulfillment by publishing the book and teaching at Plumfield.

If it wasn’t for that contract negotiation scene, there wouldn’t even be a question of what the real ending was supposed to be. There’s only one version that shows Jo prioritizing the giving part of art and marriage over any selfish gain, and I hate that the ending muddles it so badly for the sake of misplaced meta-feminism.

#little women #little women 2019 #answered asks

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pandoraswrld · 4 years ago

Text

SHE

— in which juliet reveals her darkest fears

characters / juliet kang, boo yuna

words / 1.8k

warnings / this is sad, angsty and quite a heavy piece, mentions of past self harm, suicidal thoughts — if i missed anything please let me know!

Juliet’s always felt like this. She’s always felt like crap, right from the beginning. She’s not entirely sure what caused her to feel bad today, maybe it was the fact that she had woken up at six o’ clock today which would be the third day in a row she’d woken up after the sun had gone down, or maybe it was because she had missed two dance practices and the third was looming over her as she chose to lay in bed in the darkness instead.

With the comeback happening awfully soon Juliet knows she’s disappointing her trainers, she’s disappointing the team, heck, even disappointing the company as Jangmi would say. She wished she could get out of bed but it wasn’t that simple, something was dragging her down, she constantly felt as though she had this weight on her shoulders and no matter what she would do it would never leave her.

As long as she’s known, she's always had this weight. She was hardly the favourite child, never the girlfriend or never even the ‘best’ friend, she always thought she had little to lose. Juliet would care more about her role in life if only she hadn’t realised she was nothing but a downgrade or a placeholder at such a young age, still, she felt weighed down. Lately, the weight had become more and more suffocating and way more harder for her to deal with, like it was pushing her down into a deep river and drowning out any last positive thoughts she could conjure up.

She’s tried all the remedies. She has used her mother’s advice of getting up and out, enjoying the outside world, getting some exercise in but that never worked. She’s tried to find healthy coping mechanisms, art, dancing, singing, but now she’s not even sure if she likes it anymore. This job has taken so much from her. She used to enjoy the rush of performing on stage, the cheers would give her so much adrenaline and the fans always made her day. Now every day is more draining than the last, the choreographies bored her and she could barely muster any energy to sing.

None of those so-called solutions worked, they never did. Even the temporary relief from the bad decisions never lasted as long as she wanted it to, as long as she needed it to. Her hand fell down to her thighs, the scars were faint, a simple reminder of just how much she feels all the time. She has regrets, god she has so many. She can never get back all the dignity she had lost during those months, sometimes she questions if she wants it back. Was her dignity even worth losing? It’s not like she had much of it to start with.

Some days she wishes she just hadn’t run away and auditioned for SM, then maybe she’d still love the things that used to make her happy. Occasionally, she does imagine what her life could have been like if she didn’t audition for SM, for one she thinks her parents would love her a lot more than they do now, not that they’ve ever said it. She could’ve continued down whatever path they chose for her, making them “the happiest parents ever” and her brother wouldn’t have had to carry the burden of fulfilling the family legacy — not that having a baby at the ripe old age of nineteen was really helping that.

She liked to describe her life as a line, a long red line that would twist and knot with every significant moment. To Juliet she felt as though she could just cut the line at any point, no thoughts. Just like the fates, she was Aptropos and she had the shears to decide when things would end. She always thought, what was the point of continuing the line if all that was left were ugly little knots.

“Hey Juliet! Where we–”

She hadn’t realised it until her bedroom door had burst open but she had balled herself up into a corner on her bed, her hands were bunched up in her hair and strands had fallen all around her.

This was probably Juliet’s worst fear, someone seeing her in one of her weakest states. She didn’t want to look up at whoever just came in, simply hoping that they’d leave.

“Are you okay?” It was Yuna. She sounded uncomfortable, she wasn’t sure what she should do, Juliet was clearly not okay, anyone could see that.

The silence was thick between them. Juliet had started shaking, almost rocking back and forth in her corner.

“Juliet?”

“I don’t know what to do,” Juliet’s voice was shaky, “I don’t know what to do.”

“What are you talking about?” Yuna kept her voice soft, quickly closing the bedroom door and rushing over to the bed.

“I-I keep having these th-thoughts and I’m so scared, Leyla.” The last half of her sentence came out more like a choked sob, her English just barely coming out. She had to admit the truth to herself, she’s scared. She’s scared of everything. Every year always seems to add on something worse to the last and she couldn’t take it anymore. She feels hurt, even when she’s not supposed to be. She doesn’t know what to do anymore and she’s afraid of the places her mind can take her.

Yuna’s eyes widened, she had called Yuna by her English name, something she was so sure the other girls had forgotten about. God, Yuna hadn’t heard that name in ages but in all honesty she loved hearing it again and it warmed her heart that Juliet had remembered, even that she had called her that.

She placed her hand on Juliet’s back, finding that she was freezing cold. Yuna was not expecting the face that had greeted her when Juliet looked up. Juliet’s face had been replaced by what looked like the shell of her once bright expression. Her eyes were deep-set and dark, her cheeks hollow and her skin so pale it almost looked like she was dead. Her mind raced as to what could’ve possibly got Juliet to this state, she always seemed so happy.

“It’s okay, this will pass.” She wasn’t sure exactly what to say in this situation, if Juliet’s talking about what she thinks she’s talking about.

“You don’t understand! It won’t!” Tears ran down Juliet’s face like it was nothing, she doesn't even notice them anymore. “Do you know how many times I’ve heard that? How many times I’ve repeated that to myself in hopes that it would come true?” She knows her anger is misplaced, Yuna’s just trying to help, but she can’t help it.

“I’m so tired, Leyla, I just want to go,” Juliet swallowed thickly, “I just want to go to bed and never wake up, I’m tired of living a life that I can’t enjoy.”

“Jules...” Juliet could almost hear the disappointment in her voice, just like everybody else she’s ever dared to tell this to. She drags her eyes away from Yuna’s and down at her duvet, she really didn’t want to know what Yuna was thinking.

“Can I just talk to you? Like just... just words, between us?”

Yuna nods, propping herself up on the bed, shivering as her back touched the cold wall. She pulled Juliet into her, if there was one thing she always knew to do it was to keep her close in her arms.

“Everyone has something they hate, right? Whether it be irrational or not.” Juliet fidgets in her seat, “I don’t know about everyone else but mine’s irrational, so irrational you’d probably think I was disgusting.”

Juliet could just tell Yuna’s chuckle was slightly forced, anyone would try and laugh in what felt like such an uncomfortable silence.

“It’s showering. I hate showering, it’s so... vulnerable and I can’t stand it.” Even she had to laugh just at how pathetic she sounded. “You know I try, I do, I can’t just not shower because that actually would be disgusting and that’s not what I want. It’s just that everytime I think I’m okay I go and have a shower and suddenly every bad thought I’ve ever had comes rushing back.”

Yuna can only nod in understanding.

“Ever since Lyra left I’ve had to drown out silence with anything, usually it would be music but some things I just can’t bear to listen to anymore and it sucks. It’s like everything that happened to her was my fault and I can’t handle it. I can’t be left alone anymore, I can’t and I know this. However, there’s nothing I can do to change that.” Her tears had stopped, instead her head was turned away from Yuna’s, resting against the wall and on top of her arm.

“I feel like whenever I’m around other people I bring destruction, y’know?”

“Oh that’s not true!” Yuna frowned.

“How would you know? No offence but you’ve only been in my life for like a year and a half and clearly you haven’t seen everything.” Juliet scoffs.

This would be the perfect time to tell her about what really happened last year but Juliet quickly decided that that would be another can of worms she’d rather not open. Not now.

“Well that’s gotta stand for something, I mean you haven’t hurt me and I don’t see you doing it in the future.” Yuna’s hopeful, Juliet’s glad that she is but she knows the truth — that she’ll always push those closest to her away until it’s far too late.

“And hey, if you can’t be alone then you don’t have to be!” She squeezed Juliet’s arm, “I’ll always stay by your side and if you get sick of me I can go but I’m always available!”

For the first time in a while Juliet smiled, she genuinely smiled. It was comforting to know Yuna wasn’t going to give up on her, she knew that any of her other members would probably give her the same sentiment but she’d known them for three years and they all had their own shit to deal with, none of them would ever really stick by her side at all times. Of course she had no way of knowing whether Yuna would live up to her words but through the year she’s known her she didn’t think she wouldn’t. Yuna seemed like the sweetest, even back when she watched her on Produce she was only nothing but nice to the other trainees, and she always looked a little lonely around the dorms, she didn’t even have a roommate which wasn’t exactly helpful when moving into a group of six other girls she didn’t know. It wouldn’t hurt for them to bond a little.

She stuck out her pinky finger, “Promise?”

“Promise.” Yuna grinned, locking her pinky into Juliet’s.

#kumokocnet #bobakocnet #aeskocnet #juliet — dev #kpop oc #kpop oc group #fake kpop idol #idol oc #this has been a hard one to write pls do mind the tags esp in the first half

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vanaera · 5 years ago

Text

Of Cliches and Romcom Tropes

Synopsis | You find yourself literally living a classic Romcom trope by being the nerdy introvert in love with her unexpected friend, Kim Taehyung, your university’s golden theater boy and campus heartthrob. It only turns more disgustingly cliché when you learn he part-times as a prince actor in the same carnival where you work as a ticket booth attendant. Trusting on the clichés you’ve watched in numerous Romcom films, you embark on a plan to get your crush to like you back this Halloween. Pairing | prince actor!taehyung x ticket booth attendant!oc Genre | So much fluff, slight angst, humor that’s close to being crack Wordcount | 10,184 AU | Carnival Prompt | “You’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever laid eyes on.” – “I bet you tell everyone that.” Warnings | None A/N | This is for @foreverpark’s Halloween Writing Challenge! It’s my first time joining a challenge like this so thank you so much Sarah for giving me an opportunity to experience this! For my hons out there, here’s my Halloween fic for you! Please also check out Sarah’s fics and the other fics for this challenge, they’re all great! Happy reading!

At every start of success story speeches, there is a ninety percent probability you will hear “Fake it ‘til you make it.” How Mark managed to chance upon an idea of an app, How Sarah snagged the director position she dreamed of, how introverted Kim developed progressive networks–it is an imperative that saying will pop out in every single one of these stories. Well, except yours, because it’s the other way around in your life. At times “Fake it ‘til you make it’ does makes a cut, but in most of your major life events where you desperately wished for it to work, it doesn’t really work. You know because you’ve long tried to fake you’re so invested in your part-time job, only for you to cry out at night that you didn’t want to do it anymore.

Sitting on an uncomfortable stool with a small fan on your right as reprieve from the heat, you spend most of your day with cramped legs inputting number of tickets sold, handing over ticket stubs, becoming an instant customer service attendant, and smiling through clenched teeth at the people that stop by your booth. Working the most boring job in the carnival is not something you can fake to enjoy until you make enough savings for your college tuition. That is, until Kim Taehyung came.

“Wonder boy” is an extreme understatement to describe that guy. Kim Taehyung is cute and has a model-esque body and his voice sounds so nice when he’s in his prince costume entertaining the kids who enter the Fairytale Land booth. Okay, maybe you’ve been staring at him too long than you’re supposed to when you’re at work. But in your defense, you’ve known Kim Taehyung long before you discovered he also part-times at the Enchanted Carnival–long enough for you to harbor a massive, embarrassing crush on the boy.

Kim Taehyung studies in the same university as you and you first saw him the day you didn’t attend your history class just so you can prepare for your midterms in the said subject–the irony of college students’ philosophy. That day, you just entered a classroom you frequent for study purposes, knowing it will be empty during your history period. Except for that day because the moment you pushed open the door, a stable vibrato echoing within the rooms’ walls halts in an awkward coughing fit.

Your anxiety-driven nerves immediately take over you. “Uhh, I’m sorry I just barged in I didn’t mean to interrupt you–”

“No, it’s o-okay,” the boy coughs, hitting his chest repeatedly. “I was just su-surprised.”

“I’m really sorry for interrupting you,” you take a step back, your hand grasping for the knob. “Continue on, I’ll just find another room–”

“No, it’s okay, you can share the room with me.”

“A-are you sure?” you squint, still rooted at the door. “You don’t have like, a class in here or something? You have a projector set up on the teacher’s desk.”

“Nah, it’s just my prop when I do my final runs.” He walks to the projector and flips down its lens cover. A picture of a wooden fort set in what looks like cobble-stoned streets of 18th century France flashes on the white board. “See?” The boy turns to you, grinning. “I’m cutting just like you. No pressure, mate. Stay.”

“B-but you’re practicing, I may distract you.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind some audience–unless, you get distracted from studying by music, then I’ll go and find–”

“No, it’s okay,” you chuckle. “I don’t get distracted by music. I love music. Actually, I like listening to songs while I study so yeah, go on.” You set your papers on the nearest seat and plop down.

“You do?” The boy asks and you find yourself smiling at his beaming face. You’ve never seen someone who smiles so bright like him on a constant-interaction basis.

“Yeah, I do. By the way, what are you singing for?”

“Oh yeah,” the boy scratches his nape, reds forming on the tips of his ears. “uh, this is for my Drama club. I’m still in the application process and we have this task to play and perform as a theater character tomorrow Friday. I wanted to do Jean Valjean from Les Miserables.”

“Wow, that’s great,” you smile, “actually I’m studying for my History midterms, so yeah, your practice is very timely. You can be my background music,” you chuckle, “to give me the better feel of what I will be crying over later back at my home.”

Taehyung laughs and you chuckle before going back on your own devices. An hour and a half passes with you flipping furiously through your reviewer in time with the instrumentals behind Taehyung’s velvet voice. When the bell rings and the afternoon class scheduled in the room starts to form a mini clique outside, you scramble out the door with a mess of papers pressed to your chest and a new name to mull over during your breaks: Kim Taehyung.

Unlike what you predicted, that encounter was not the last you will have with the theater boy. You had a couple of classes with him in the next semester and he sat next to you in each lectures. You also became partners for a pair project in your Communication Theories class. Kim Taehyung became a regular presence in your college life that at the end of your sophomore year, you knew his dream of becoming a theater actor, all his likes, dislikes and insecurities, and even his secrets he said his friends knew none of like “Y/N, do you know I used to dream of becoming a Disney prince? Not used to, actually I still low-key dream of playing Shang from Mulan just so I can sing ‘Make a Man Out of You.’” You never imagined you would hit up such a friendship with someone who’s the total polar opposite of you. Taehyung’s a social butterfly while you hate going out of your house. He knows almost three-fourth of the total population in the university with him getting to manage nine clubs while still maintaining his academics. In total contrast to you who never got to join any organizations, too afraid of making commitments you neither can fulfill nor prioritize over staying at home and reading your fiction books. Not to say Taehyung’s on the top of the strata with his handsome looks, blessed physique, impressive talent, and wide range of friends. While you’re someone who easily blends with the crowd’s background noise, with nothing too much to offer but a small group of friends and a fascination for critiquing movies–especially those that are really bad.

You guess that people say, “Opposites attract” for a reason because when you and Taehyung move on to sophomore year, you find yourself crushing hard on the boy. However for you, the attraction is definitely going to be one-sided. You’re sure of it because how can Taehyung ever like you back? You’re the epitome of average-ness that you even became the stepping stone for the girls who want to snag a date with Taehyung. Of course you wouldn’t let Taehyung miss out on cute girls he can probably date when he can have any girl he wish to be with. And, you’re too chicken to act out even a hint of your feelings for him. Clammy hands, jumpy heart, and equipped with an instinct to run to the opposite hall when you so much as glance at Taehyung’s approaching figure, you are sure he will be the death of you. Everything turns worse when you learn he part-times this summer break in the same carnival you work pathetically.

“Yo, Y/N, you work here, too?” Taehyung nears you, clad in a white polo dangerously unbuttoned down his chest, navy trousers that cinches his narrow hips, and brown combat boots. He is also wearing an unbuttoned red military jacket, its shoulder pads making his shoulders look broader than they’d ever been. A rich red cape embellished with golden details flows behind him, complementing the gold tassels on his jacket and his golden crown that makes him look impossibly more ethereal. He fucking looks like a brunet Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle.

You consciously glance down at your outfit: sweat-stained purple polo shirt with Enchanted Carnival’s logo embroidered on its breast pocket, tucked in generic black slacks that doesn’t fit you well. When you reach up to tuck the stray strand of hair that escapes your ponytail, you’re reminded you’re still wearing the silly mandatory headband with pink bunny ears. Your face feels oily, your hair’s unwashed, and you just remembered you’re not wearing any makeup on. Great, you fucking look like all college students’ worst job nightmare.

“Hey, you’re still there?”

“Ye-yeah, uh, hi, Tae,” you smile awkwardly, snatching your headband off and hiding it behind your back. You tried to make yourself look less embarrassing but it backfired when all short strands of your hair messily spill down to your cheeks. You smile wider. Okay, this is the worst day ever.

“I didn’t know you’re also working here,” Taehyung says.

“Umm, yeah. I forgot to tell you, I’m sorry–”

“No, no, no, it’s okay!” Taehyung waves his hands, laughing. “In fact this is great!”

“Great?” You want to jump off from a cliff right on.

Taehyung remains oblivious in your self-pity and just grins. “Yeah, it means I get to see you everyday even when we’re outside uni!”

“We do see each other outside uni. I tutored you for six months straight in the library.”

“Yeah, but I mean, it’s nice we get to be co-workers. It’s good to have a familiar face around so work wouldn’t be so boring. Say, Y/N, why don’t we have lunch at the cafeteria later? I have so many to tell you and–”

“Yah, Kim Taehyung! You’re up next, what are you doing outside?” you glance behind your friend and see Jimin, dressed in the same uniform as you minus the silly headband, wildly waving for the boy in front of you. When Jimin notices you, he breaks into a smile, “Oh, hi, Y/N,” and then he returns to his agenda. “Taehyung come here quickly! The batch of kids is nearing the Princess’ Castle, boss is gonna chew us out if you didn’t get back to the booth in three!”

Taehyung sighs and looks at you with shoulders drooped. “I have to go back now. Guess, I’ll see you later?”

“Okay, later, then. Have fun, Tae,” you wave at him with a smile.

When you head back for your booth, you cross your fingers and hope you don’t see him later. How can the universe do you this dirty by placing him so near you right when you are at your worst?

At the end of the day, you learn the universe just does you dirty for the hell of it. Taehyung bounds your way for lunch break in his prince costume, grinning stupidly just when you’re about to sneak off to the comfort rooms. Nevertheless, you accept the lemons life is giving you and decide to relish in your crush’s presence as you joke over lunch. You just didn’t expect that day will start an unannounced routine with Taehyung eating lunch with you and him walking you home after your shifts for the rest of your summer break. The seemingly grey area in your friendship with Taehyung turns more mind-boggling when the man keeps up with the routine even after the summer break has ended, with you two continuing your part-time jobs at the carnival every weekend.

Truth be told, your set-up with Taehyung is a blessing in disguise. He may see you greasy-faced, constantly suffering at work, and daily pissed at your cramped station with poor ventilation but at least you get to see the man you fell in love with everyday. Not just the Taehyung who’s the campus crush and the talented actor every kid in the carnival loves. But the Taehyung who stays up with you until three in the morning talking about what you want for yourselves, who genuinely laughs at your puns and memes everyone else finds corny, and who tells you he’s enjoying himself in his job because finally, he gets to act like a Disney prince.

So when you find yourself only falling for Taehyung deeper, getting over him becomes the last resort in your to-do list. You start to let yourself get ahead of you and assume that maybe, just maybe, there is a chance Taehyung likes you back. Or else he wouldn’t do all those things with you with his stare lingering on your face, and his hand brushing against your own on multiple occasions you swear are not conjured up by your lovesick heart. Right?

With the Halloween season closing in and your part-time contracts at the carnival nearing its end, you are compelled to finally make a move on Taehyung. The carnival is the only place where your social and visual gap matters the least. You’re going to get an answer from him before this perfect chance expires. All you have to do now is have courage for the things you’re about to do and you pray that this time, the universe lets you successfully fake it ‘til you make it.

***

Plan 1: The Makeover Montage

You’ve watched enough Romcom films to know that a good makeover montage creates an obvious statement that a woman is about to claim her man. And so, you started making your wallet cry and your fingers ache by splurging on cosmetic brands and watching YouTube makeup tutorials. You’re proud of yourself when by the time Monday rolls in, you are confident you can pull off the cat wing and coral peach color scheme you learnt in exchange of sleep-deprived nights.

You wait by your locker and glance at your watch. 7:48 A.M. Great, just in time. You look down on your outfit: a white ruffled blouse tucked in a pink and yellow plaid skirt. Spending three hours planning today’s outfit was totally worth it, you mentally pat yourself.

Three minutes pass and then the bell chimes. You stand up straight and crane your neck to look for your target. Amy from History, Dave from Economics, Amanda from the College Secretary’s Office, Jimin from Arts and the Enchanted Carnival–There! Kim Taehyung.

Taehyung catches your eye and waves at you. He whispers something to Jimin before he bounds toward you. “Hi, Y/N. Didn’t know you’re an early bird now. I thought your first class today is later at eleven thirty?”

“U-um, I have so-something to pass to Ms. Terry at the Department of Arts and Communication,” you laugh awkwardly.

“Oh is that so? Wait,” Taehyung looks at you, eyes wide. “Is it a homework I may have forgotten to do at home?”

“N-no! There’s no homework! It’s just uh–a follow-up on a project!”

“A project? Did Ms. Terry announce any project? I’m sorry, I’m just confused because we take her class together and–”

“It’s a personal project!” you interject with a grin. “I…uh, I’ve been working on it since last month. I forgot to tell you about it, but it’s not much, just a collection of…news clippings.”

“News clippings, hmm, that sounds interesting. Tell me about it at lunch, I will go ahead now to my first period,” Taehyung steps back and makes a salute, his alternative of a goodbye wave to you. “Good luck with your project!”

“Wa-wait, Tae!”

Taehyung halts in his steps and looks at you. “Why? Is something wrong?”

“I–uh, did you notice anything new today?”

“New?” Tehyung tilts his head. “Is it a new promo for the diner we frequent?”

“Uhh, no.”

“Umm,” Taehyung bites his lip, “is it a new movie you sent to me in our Discord?”

“Uh, also no. And, I will gush about a movie first to you in person before I send it to our Discord.”

“Oh, right,” Taehyung chuckles. “Is it a new book then?”

“No.”

“New supplies in the bookstore you love?”

“No.”

“A new flavor of coffee in the vending machine?”

“No.

“A new–”

“Goddamn it, Taehyung, you know what, just go to your class,” you purse your lips and Taehyung gawks at you.

“W-why? Did I say something wrong, Y/N?”

“No, it’s just, you’re so obliviou–UGH!”

“‘Obliviou-ugh?’” Taehyung looks more confused than ever he’s been in his life.

You take in deep breath and take it as a signal for you to retreat. “Don’t mind me it’s just my mood swing!” you holler as you turn your back and walk fast to the exit. Following-up with a faint “See you later!” to the bewildered boy by the time you step out the hallway.

After what happened today, you guess Taehyung won’t easily notice your makeover with just one encounter. You decided to keep it consistent for the rest of the week, waking up earlier to curl your hair and apply makeup before going to your classes. And every day you kept trying something new – a change of shade in the lip gloss, a swipe of a bolder eye shadow, a shift from preppy to sophisticated clothing styles–Taehyung still fails to notice anything. Even when you turn up for your shift in the carnival with full-on makeup for the very first time, Taehyung just passes you by with his usual demeanor.

“Hi, Y/N!”

“Hi Tae!” You cringe at how chirpy you sound. “Umm, you look exceptionally good today!”

“Yeah?” Taehyung looks at his clothes, the same Howl costume he always wears in his shift. “Well, I look like this everytime in my shift so thanks?”

“But, have you noticed anything new today?” you bat your mascara-laden lashes for emphasis.

“New?” Taehyung leans closer to you and this time you feel your heart pounding in suspense. Of course he’ll notice it now, you never wear this much makeup at work–

“Oh, your ID lace!” Taehyung snaps his fingers, grinning. “Right, you changed your ID lace, how can I miss out on it? You always complain about the neon orange you used to have and now it’s black just like how you always want.”

You balk at him. “Uhh, it’s still the ones provided by the staff. They just changed the color.”

“Yeah, isn’t that great? You’ve always wanted a black ID lace! Remember when you used to tell me you’re gonna file a petition to change the neon orange lace to black? It’s finally black!” Taehyung claps you on the back and then makes his signature salute. “See ya later at lunch Y/N. And congrats to the ID lace!”

You poke your cheek with your tongue in annoyance. You’ve done such a good job perfecting your makeup and all he notices is just your ID lace?! What the motherfucking–

Okay, maybe Taehyung doesn’t get makeover montages. You cross Plan 1 out and step up to Plan 2.

Plan 2: The Assertive Approach

If Taehyung can’t notice physical changes, maybe this time, he can notice behavioral changes. In the films you have watched, you’ve seen countless protagonists be successful in catching the eye of their love interests by changing their flirting style. You’ve always dreamt of becoming like Julia Roberts in her hit romance films: confident, bold, and unafraid to make the first move. So this time, you get to finally be the woman of your dreams and you hope she can also entice the man inside your heart.

You started your metamorphosis by sitting closer to Taehyung during lectures, leaning closely to him whenever he’s talking with you, closing the space between your faces with a mere inch of breath. You also let your hands do the speaking for you whenever you walk home from work, masking the frequent brushing of your fingers against his, an obvious open invitation for him to hold your hand, seemingly accidental. But whatever you do, Taehyung still can’t get any hint. He’ll just smile at you and proceed to what he’s doing without even a waver in his tone.

Fueled with desperation, you decide to cross the boundary from subtle to blatant assertion in your lunch break with Taehyung.

“Today’s a pretty beat day,” Taehyung remarks, taking off his sweaty cape. “Some teens decided to not go with the usual flow of the booth and visit the stops in reverse. I felt sorry for Jimin. He looked so stressed manhandling each teen out of the booth and giving them a stricter run-over of the booth’s rules.”

“Yeah?” You slide closer next to his seat and cross your legs. “Then what about you, did the teens made fun of you? I heard from Seokjin that Lisa almost broke down when they poked around her unicorn costume.”

“I’m glad I’m the last stop. Jimin already entered the booth when the kids made the ruckus at Lisa’s stop.” Taehyung sighs, running his hand through his damp fringes. “I couldn’t imagine myself dealing with such troublesome people. If I were in Lisa’s place, I would have already been screaming at them for being bastards at such a young age. It’s a relief, it didn’t happen. I would have lost this job.”

“I’m glad, too, you didn’t get hurt.” You lean towards him, resting your head against his shoulder. You felt him stiffen in his seat and you smile. “I would have been so worried, you know. I don’t know what I will do,” you grab his hand, intertwine it with yours, and look up at him, “if I don’t see you around here anymore.”

“Really?” Taehyung turns to you and you nod. He smiles. “Thanks, Y/N, for your concern. I would feel the same if you were to experience that. Oh, we should probably eat now, our food’s getting cold.” Taehyung immediately detaches his fingers from yours, leaving you gaping in your seat.

Your lunch proceeds like usual and the awkward hand-holding you pulled off was never brought up again. Like Plan 1, you kept Plan 2 consistent for the week. However, Taehyung still remains painfully oblivious.

Plan 2 is unsuccessful so you cross it out and decide it’s time to take your game to the full notch.

Plan 3: The Vixen’s Touch

If Taehyung can’t recognize physical and behavioral changes, he cannot miss out on a temptation handed over on a silver platter. Plan 3 is the ultimate overkill. No one can resist the seductive vixen. You already braved through doing a Julia-Roberts-character. Going for the longest mile with Megan Fox shouldn’t be a problem. This is probably just your ego talking but you’re not gonna let the smallest bit of shame creep in to you now. Not now, when you’re putting all your cards on the table for Taehyung’s heart. This is all or nothing.

You see, the Vixen’s Touch is the epitome of all Romcoms’ super power move. Just one scene is enough to turn the tables around and let the heroine achieve whatever outcome she desires. However, such great power comes numerous setbacks. One can only do a vixen move once and never more because if it’s overdone, it will lose it’s mystery, charm, and power–everything that makes it an effective Romcom move. So, you planned your Vixen Touch meticulously.

You can’t do a Megan-Fox-move at school because you’ll attract too much attention, especially with Taehyung who’s already at the spotlight of social interactions. Instead, you will pull it off in the carnival, where you can have your crush all to yourself without worrying about ambitious bitches intruding your scenario. You’ll enter the Fairy Tale booth during your break time and sneak to the backstage from the “Authorized Personnel Only” door on the left of the second stop. From there, you will do Lisa’s advice to take a right turn and then a left. It will lead to a connecting hallway that ends with the red curtains behind the Princess’ Castle. There, you’ll surprise Taehyung, who’s waiting for the princess’ cue, with a tingling touch against his spine and a sexy and breathy, “Hi, Tae.” Taehyung will be shocked and you’ll close the gap between the two of you. With the dark setting and the seemingly scandalous set-up, the thrilling mood will compel you to lean towards him and he will close his eyes and interlock his lips with yours in a passionate kiss. If you make it fast to the connecting hallway, you will have enough alone time with Taehyung before the batch of people even reaches the third stop from the princess’ castle. You grin to yourself. Your plan has never been this perfect.

Weekdays pass with you continuing your Assertive Approach. Taehyung’s still clueless, making the transition to Plan 3 much more thrilling. When Saturday finally rolls in, you set your game-est face on.

It’s a week before Enchanted Carnival’s Halloween Party, which means the management is lenient on the part-timers’ work uniforms. After all, you only have one week left before you end your contracts. And so, you pull out your fanciest casual outfit–a little red dress with off-shoulder sleeves, partnered with fishnet stockings that go well with your black combat boots. You also perfected your makeup: eyebrows on-fleek, cat wings on-point, deep brown smoky eyes, and blood-red lips. To top off your look, you put on a thin, black choker. You smile at yourself. You did a good job making yourself look hot. You know it’s not just your ego talking because when you arrive at the ticket booth, Jimin compliments your look.

“Yo, Y/N, I never knew you could look this pretty,” Jimin grins at you.

"You also look good today,“ you return, taking note of how well his striped buttondown fits his frame. “I didn’t know today is leg day,” you add, admiring how his ripped jeans accentuate his legs you never knew were this muscular.

Jimin smiles, “Say it for yourself, Y/N. You look a solid twelve.” He rocks on the balls of his feet back and forth. “I guess the management did a good job letting us wear our casual clothes. You don’t know how bad I wanted to take off our horrendous uniform whenever we work.”

“That’s…highly inappropriate but I guess you do you,” you point finger guns at him. Jimin chuckles and waves goodbye to you, heading for the Fairy Tale booth. You seat yourself in your work station. Today’s a good start. You hope your luck continues until break time.

Lunch passes by and so far everything’s a breeze. You haven’t seen Taehyung today, probably caught up with the kids who frequent his booth in large batches as Halloween approaches close. Nevertheless, it’s good news. Your surprise will totally knock him off his feet.

The clock chimes two. Seokjin comes over and takes over the ticket booth as you take your break. It’s show time.

Just like your plan, you head for the Fairy Tale booth in quick strides. Lisa manages the entrance to their booth today and she lets you in without any ado, already used to you and Taehyung crossing to and fro your respective booths. Greeting Val, the Elfen soldier of the first stop and Yeji, the mermaid from the second stop, you head for the “Authorized Personnel Only” door and push it open. It leads to a darkly-lit hallway with a heavily carpeted flooring. You follow Lisa’s tips, taking a right turn and a left. True to her word, the connecting hallway ends with the thick red curtains. And there in the corner, is your dream man facing the curtains and waiting for his signal. You don’t hear any clamor of people nearing the Princess’ Castle, even the faintest of chatter inaudible. You thank the universe for this luck. You made it in time.

The seconds seem to slow down into minutes as you stepped closer to Taehyung. Your heart pounds loud and fast against your ears. This is it. You’ll finally make Taehyung realize you have your heart laid out for him. And if you’re lucky, he will also give his to you today.

With a mere foot left between you two, you reach out for him.

“Hey, Taehyung–”

“What the fuck–”

Everything happens too fast. Instead of Taehyung’s surprised face, a hard punch straight to your nose is what greets you. Intense pain spreads over your senses and you reel over, feeling your entire face on fire.

"Oh my fucking, God, I’m sorry! Oh my God, Y/N, I didn’t see you–are you alright?!“ Taehyung catches your arms as you stagger backwards, pulling you to your feet to prevent you from falling.

You nod and waved dismiss-ally to his panicked state.

Just right then, you feel something wet trickle down your lips.

"Oh my God, Y/N, you’re bleeding!” Taehyung screams and he immediately leads you to a chair propped on the corner. He frantically pulls out tissues on the table nearby and dabs the wetness that seeps on your skin. “Shit, what are you even doing here?! I thought you were a ghost, I’m so sorry I punched you!”

You’re too dazed to register everything that has happened and your lack of response causes Taehyung to panic more.

"Fuck, Y/N, I’m so, so, sorry! Oh my God, this is all my fault. Just sit right there, I’ll call for help!“ Taehyung rushes to the end of the hallway and you hear him scream for Jimin. Pounding footsteps follow and then it’s not just Taehyung fussing over you, but also Jimin.

"Do you think it’s broken?” Taehyung asks Jimin, voice trembling.

"I don’t think so. She’s not bleeding that much. Taehyung, relax, I already called for first aid–”

"How can I relax when Y/N’s in pain?! Which I inflicted on her! You know what, let’s call the ambulance!–”

This is not what you planned for. This is not how you imagined you will spend your last shift at the carnival with Taehyung.

Wetness trickles down your cheeks and before Taehyung can rush over and wipe your tears away, the Carnival’s first aid team has already barged in and crowded over you.

You were led to the small clinic of the carnival where you were given a tissue to stick in your nose. The physician told you your nose was luckily not broken and your body has just undergone shock. Once the bleeding has stopped, you’re good to go. Seokjin also called you he already informed your boss about what happened, telling you he’ll take over your shift and you’re now free to go home. The next few minutes pass in silence and you sink further onto the foldable bed. However, the universe decides it’s not yet done fucking up your day when the door opens with a loud bang and there stands Taehyung, huffing and drenched in sweat.

"I’m sorry I only got here now. Boss scolded me for what I did to you,“ Taehyung sighs deeply as he sits on the chair next to you, leaning his elbows on your bed. “I’m really sorry, Y/N. All of this wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t overreact.”

"I-it’s okay, Tae. You didn’t know I was there.“

"What are you even doing at our booth? Much more creeping in the dark?”

You bit your lip and look away. “It’s my break, it’s just,” you sigh, “I thought of surprising you today and well, it didn’t go as well as I planned it.”

"Plan? For what? Is there something we’re supposed to celebrate today?“

You turn back to Taehyung and meet his eyes. His eyes are focused on your face, waiting for your answer.

Well, maybe not all Romcom cliches work just like how they appear to be in movies. Maybe not all romantic gestures need to be grand in order to convey the sincerity of one’s feelings. Maybe it could be as simple like this– two people staring at each other in a clinic, uncaring of the world happening beyond your little bubble.

And as you stare at Taehyung’s face and see the reflection of yourself through his eyes, confused and tired, you decide it’s time for you to finally say it. No more orchestrated pretenses. No more intricate plans.

"Today is our last day in our work and I wanted to surprise you by finally being true to my feelings. I no longer look at you as a friend, Taehyung. I’m in love with you.”

Taehyung doesn’t reply. He just stares at you. You slowly feel the air getting squeezed out of your lungs, and it’s not just because of your stuffed nostril. Another beat of silence passes and then Taehyung’s face falls as he gapes at you, confused, shocked, and for a moment you see disappointment flash across his face. “W-what? Y/N, when did you-I, I don’t know what to say, I-why now?”

You bite your lip, feeling the tears well in your eyes. “Why not now, Taehyung?”

"Because–” Taehyung sighs and he purses his lips, dragging a hand over his face. “Y/N, you’re my friend, but I–”

"You know what, Taehyung, I get it,“ you turn your back on him, tasting blood on your lips from biting too hard to keep the tears at bay. You won’t cry because of him and in front of him at the same time. He doesn’t get to see you this weak. “You can leave me now.”

"But, Y/N, I–”

"Does punching me in the face not enough for you?! Just leave!“

You hear Taehyung sigh. The mattress of the bed puffs up again as the weight leaves. A faint “I’m sorry” resounds in the stifling silence. When the door closes with a soft click, the tears finally fall.

You stifle your broken sobs on your pillow.

***

You’re back in your old cycle: Eat, sleep, study, and lie low at the background. You steered clear from Taehyung in your classes, seating far away from your usual seat. You neither stopped by his locker in the mornings, nor waited for him in front of your own locker for lunch. You even went as far as avoiding your common friends, the thought of people asking about what happened between you and Taehyung makes you reel back to the embarrassment and disappointment of that day.

As much as you wanted to hate Taehyung, you find it hard to admit that every single thing that has gone wrong points back to you. You assuming anything more than what you already have with him, you doing outrageously unnecessary things for him, you bending yourself backwards in your desperation for him – it has always been yourself.

You tried to stay as identical to the background as you can be, away from Taehyung and anything that is associated with him. Because as much as you feel like an empty vessel for every single day, you cannot find it in yourself to erase Taehyung from your mind. Even when his last words with you kept on re-opening the wounds you’ve been trying hard to stitch back together. And, you can’t have that. You can’t run back to him and let him kick you back to the curb. It’s time for you to learn your lesson.

But no matter how successful you were the past days in running from Taehyung, you know you cannot avoid him forever. Especially when Enchanted Carnival has required the part-timers to attend their annual Halloween Party tomorrow, arranged by their permanent staff. After all, it’s the day you’ll terminate your contract and receive your last salary for your job.

You have never sorely regretted your past decisions like this before. You’re love-fool state of mind back then has induced you to buy an expensive costume. A fancy dress that has a carnation pink rayon bodice and full skirt, layered with delicate purple cotton voilewhich looks like soft rose petals that perfectly cinch the waist. It has long, glittered see-through sleeves that ruffle at the end of your arm, and it is adorned with golden intricate curvilinear details that go around the bust area and matches the golden flower belt on the waist. It even came with a faux golden crown with a short pink veil attached to the back. Yes, you fucking bought a princess bride costume just to match with Taehyung’s usual work attire because of course, Taehyung will come looking like a Disney prince. And now that everything you planned has gone downhill, the excitement is over and the only thing you feel is bitterness and a desperate wish to get things done and over with.

You reached the carnival at seven and by that time, the party is in full swing. Enchanted Carnival looks like a cirque-esque other-world. Small Jack o’ Lanterns replaced the usual light bulbs to light the carnival in an alluring tangerine glow. Signboards of “Happy Halloweens” range from small cutouts that hung from the poles, to gigantic illustrations pasted right on the walls of the some stalls. Pumpkin and ghost-shaped candies were sold at almost every corner and the people that pass by, carnival staff or not, embody the fantasy and surrealism of the carnival. You’ve seen pirates, sirens, faeries, and even witty realistic horror such as Jung Hoseok, the roller coaster attendant, wearing casual jeans and shirt with electric bills pasted on his chest and back.

“Hey, Y/N! I thought you weren’t coming.” You look to your left and see Lisa in a No Face costume. Seokjin follows close behind, dressed like Sokka from Avatar: The Last Airbender.

“Uh, yeah–I mean,” you clear your throat “how can I not come when I get to be paid at the end of the night?”

“Yeah, that’s the spirit,” Seokjin chuckles. “The salary is my only motivation when I lost a bet to Yeji and agreed to dress like…this.”

“Hey, Sokka’s not bad!” Lisa frowns. “Avatar: The Last Airbender is the best show ever and Sokka’s like a perfect ten.”

“Yeah, but it would have been better if you know,” Seokjin huffs, “I get to be Toph. So I can finally un-see Hoseok’s stupid’s antics, especially his dumb electric-bill costume tonight. It doesn’t get to be low-cost, witty, and funny all at the same time. It’s unfair.”

You laugh, feeling your jaw hurt a little from smiling so wide. It’s been a while since you smiled, with the past days spent crying and moping around in your room. You’re grateful for Lisa and Seokjin who tried to cheer you up throughout the night, distracting you from thoughts that revolve around Taehyung by pulling you into ride after ride, playing games in stall after stall, and stuffing your mouths with delicious treats.

You were having the best night of your life, until you find your group stopping in front of a booth – The 13th House.

You turn to Lisa. “Hey, you didn’t tell me a horror booth is included in our itinerary.”

“Because I don’t need to,” Lisa grins. “Horror booths are a classic! How can Halloween be Halloween without some spook?”

“Right, and relax Y/N,” Seokjin says, “It’s not like we’re gonna leave you. And trust me, it’s not that scary. I already visited this booth to prank Jungkook. Too bad I was unsuccessful that time with Jungkook already immune to jumpscares from manning the effects and all.”

Except it is scary. The 13th House is the only booth you didn’t dare to visit during your entire work period. Your remember how your legs turned to jelly the first time you saw its front: An old gothic mansion with dilapidated walls and broken windows, its wooden main door covered in bloody handprints, and its gray, dry lawn surrounded by amputated body parts. You know all of it were just manmade but it doesn’t lessen the creeps you get when every detail and props are fashioned too realistically.

Nevertheless, you went along with Lisa and Seokjin and get your ticket-bracelets scanned by the booth marshal. Even if you feel like running away the moment you hear the loud, sinister creak of the main door when you start for the first stop, you stood your ground and wear your big girl game face on. It’s your last night in the carnival, might as well do everything you were never able to do before.

The first half of your trip in the booth were somehow a smooth ride. Although you almost jumped at the scream of the bloody Victorian bride from the first stop, almost backed out on the second stop because of the swinging headless knight, and almost cried on the spot because of the wailing man with its guts ripped apart from the third stop, you’re still far from getting scared out of your wits.

That is, until you reach the middle stop.

The fourth stop required you to do an easy escape-room task with a ghost kid guiding you through a fake Ouija board session. You quickly finished the activity and the wooden walls shifted to reveal a small passageway with thick hanging cobwebs. Lisa leads the way and you find yourself gripping her hand and Seokjin’s tighter as you enter a dark hallway lit only by torches fastened to gray, blood-splattered walls.

And then, out of nowhere, foreign hands cover your eyes. You scream and thrash around but your suffering is only momentary when you find yourself back in the hallway with no looming figures behind your back. Okay, maybe it’s just part of the booth experience–Wait. Where’s Lisa and Seokjin?

“Lisa! Seokjin!” You call for your friends’s names. They were just with you earlier. You were holding their hands for Christ’s sake! “Where are you, guys?! This is NOT funny!” You bite your lip and wring your hands in anxiety. “Guys, I swear to God, this is not fun–”

The lights of the torches flicker. The background music starts to grow louder, and eerier as it now plays with Latin incantations. And then there’s a loud bang.

The lights were blown out. The blood-splattered designs on the walls turn neon. And, the rest of the hallway goes complete dark-out.

“Holy shit!” You run, straight ahead. Heart pounding loud on your ears, you don’t think anymore and just run. Surely, there will be some end to this hallway, right?

Except there’s none, because a forked path greets you just right when you thought the hallway is getting too long. The two paths stare at you, the neon designs on their walls starts to get disturbing with child-like drawings of disfigured people and morbid beasts.

You slump on the ground. This is a complete nightmare. You wish you didn’t go with Lisa and Seokjin. You wish you didn’t let your loneliness get to you and spent the whole week crying about your crush who doesn’t like you. Because now you’re trapped in this hellish booth and you’re gonna die alone and pathetic. You didn’t even get to experience at least the “moving on” happy ending alternative of Romcom films. You didn’t –

Just right then, there’s a flash of light from the end of the left path. A second later, a voice echoes loud. You didn’t understand a word from the echo. Hell, you’re not even sure if it’s from a human. But at least it seems to have a light that is nothing part of 13th House’s props. Before thinking twice, you’re already running toward the direction of the light. You run and run and never dared to stop. The light’s getting near, you’re gonna get help soon! You won’t have to die alone because you’re gonna get out of here and–

Light blinds you.

"Ahh!“

"What the fuck-! I’m sorry!”

You feel the light on your face dim down. And the moment you bring down your raised hands, you can’t seem to speak.

"YN?“

Taehyung stands in front of you, flashlight in hand, and looking handsome as always. But, it’s not his presence that makes your heart still. Enchanted Carnival’s purple polo shirt, generic black slacks, and the silly headband with blue rabbit ears atop his head–Taehyung’s wearing the carnival’s ticket booth uniform.

And Taehyung’s jaw is ajar seemingly for all the same reason. Pink princess gown and glittering princess crown–you were an open book to him now.

"You…you’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

All of a sudden, everything that has happened in the last weeks comes back to you and you feel your eyes stinging with tears as the dam of bitterness floods your chest. “I bet you tell everyone that,” you scoff, “since you’re such a disgusting flirt.”

Taehyung’s mouth hangs in shock, “Di-disgusting flirt? You’re the only one I told you that!”

You stand back to your feet and meet his eyes with a steely glare. “I find it hard to believe that, Kim. Especially your type of guys.”

Your eyes seem to do tricks to you when you see Taehyung wince at your tone, but that wasn’t for long because Taehyung now sounds defensive. "What are my type of guys?“

You scowled. "The type who leads on girls and cruelly rejects them after they’re done playing with them.”

"What rejection are you talking about? I did not reject you! How could you-“

"What else could your reaction mean when I told you I love you?!”

"I was trying to move on from you, okay!“ Taehyung screams. "And that day, you just–dropped the bomb like that. How do you expect me to react huh? Especially, when I fucking spent one year trying to make you realize I see you more than as a friend and you just ignore me as if my feelings don’t matter to you. And then, when I finally decide to move on from you, you act weird for a couple of weeks. And out of nowhere you’re telling me you love me. How can I even react properly? You didn’t even wait for me to process things,” Taehyung’s voice breaks, “You just up and go and shut me out!”

"W-what?“

"I liked you, Y/N. For so long. And you never turned my way–you wave off my advances as if they mean nothing to you, you keep on setting me up with other girls, and you run away from me whenever I so much glance at you. You don’t even let me see you properly when we’re at school. You hide from me and run away as if you’re gonna die just by being with me. And last week, you’re suddenly telling me you love me? So, how can I be a disgusting flirt when you’re the one who’s sending me mixed signals?!”

"Mixed signals?“ you frown. "For the past year I’ve been your friend Tae, I tried to love you in my own way. I stayed up late with you as you told me all your problems. I’ve been there with you in whatever shenanigans you thought of. I spent almost every break I fucking have with you talking about whatever we want. They are blatant signals, Taehyung! So I’m sorry if I have to hide or run away sometimes, because if you didn’t fucking know, we don’t belong in the same world.”

“What do you mean we don’t belong in the same world? Fucking hell, Y/N, you’re not an alien–”

“In your world, I am! In your world, you are the star, the life of the party. People who belong in your world live their fucking fantastic lives as the star of their own stories. They achieve their dreams, they get whatever they want, people look up at them for being so great. But, people like me? We spend our fucking lives looking into your world from the outside. Pathetic side characters of their own pathetic lives. People just pass us by, some even run over us. No one even remembers our fucking name. So, even if these don’t matter when I look at you, I can only love you from afar because people will look at us and all these shits will come back for me.”

“Jesus Christ,” Taehyung huffs, carding a hand through his hair in frustration. “There are no worlds separating you from me because people are just different! And these differences cannot dictate who should belong with who because guess what? We’re the only ones who can let other people in or out of their lives. So can you just stop for a second and see that there’s nothing that actually separates you from me? I thought you would already know this by now since we’ve been friends for so long.”

You feel tears blurring your eyes and you look away from him. “But still, that’s not enough to explain all the shits that’s happened this past week. Okay, we may be different and I tried to express my feelings in my own way. But I tried to change it up, Tae. I worked so hard to pattern my advances to every Romcom clichés and of course they all went wrong when it came to you.”

“W-wrong? Y/N, what Romcom cliches–”

“The cheesiest Romcom clichés!” You snap. “You know, the makeover montage, the Julia Roberts’ Assertive Approach, the Megan Fox Vixen Touch. You were telling me how oblivious I were to your advances but you never fucking noticed how I changed up my advances just for you. You ignored how I dressed up pretty-to-the-tip for you. Even after I came to you and blatantly asked you if you noticed something new. You don’t take the cue when I freaking hand over my feelings for you in a silver platter. Hell, you even punched me in the face when I tried to be sexy!”

“God, can you let it go? I already said I’m sorry!” Taehyung huffs and you look down on your feet. Taehyung sighs, “I was trying to move on from you during those weeks you’ve acted really, really weird. So obviously, I will be very confused. Secondly, Y/N,” Taehyung sighs, “Romcom clichés are called like that because they only happen and work the way they are portrayed to work, in Romcoms. Romcom is a film genre. Sure, they may reflect some aspects of reality, but Y/N, they are planned out, manipulated in a controlled environment. They’re not your life. Life doesn’t work that way.”

“I’m sorry, I just–” you bite your lip but it’s not enough to prevent a tear slip from your eyes. “This is my first time feeling like this and I don’t know what to do. I absolutely have no fucking idea what I should do next and I–I’m just so sorry for dragging these shits up and made our lives messier than it should be. I’m sorry for probably making you feel guilty about yourself for this past week I ignored you like the plague. I’m sorry for being so stupid, I just–I’m so sorry, Tae!” your voice breaks at the end and before you know it, your tears have already consumed you to the ground.

"Oh shit Y/N, don’t cry.” Taehyung panics as he kneels next to you. You shield your face from him with your hands, but Taehyung pries them away and cups your face in his large, warm hands. You feel the pads of his fingers wipe away your tears and when you look up at him, Taehyung’s face is too close to yours. Too close that you can practically see the deep, dark circles under his eyes despite the darkness. The thought that you caused him this made you tear up more.

Taehyung goes frantic. “Y/N, do-don’t cry. Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry. Y/N, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry–”

“C-can you just h-hug me?”

“O-okay,” Taehyung hesitantly loops his arms around your shaking frame. “Thi-this is fine with me.”

You close your eyes and lean on your friend’s chest. You don’t care if Taehyung’s shirt get wet with your tears. He’s partly at fault for making you cry. But still, you squeak out a muffled. “Thank you, Tae.”

Taehyung hums. “It’s okay.”

Amid this night’s horror and breakdown, silence, for the first time in a while, envelops you in comfort. Even with no words, Taehyung easily dries away the tears. He just pats your back and rubs soothing circles on your tensed muscles, leaning closer to you when you hug him tighter.

“I hate fighting with you, Tae.”

Taehyung turns his head closer to yours. “Are we already fighting?”

“W-well yeah,” you hiccup. “Somehow.”

“Okay…Next time we’ll understand each other better so we don’t need to have unnecessary fights like this, okay?”

“Okay,” you mutter. You sink deeper into Taehyung’s arms and he holds you tighter in his embrace.

Even if you can’t see his face, you know Taehyung’s smiling.

It doesn’t take long for your sobs to die down that you’re now slowly disentangling yourself from him.

“Are you okay now?”

“Y-yeah. Thank you.” You lean your back against the wall and Taehyung sits next to you. You look at him and he smiles at you. For a moment you stay like that, staring into his eyes, falling deep in the little world you’re sharing with him. And then, it hits you. Taehyung’s still here. Even after you blurt out every insecurity and self-doubt you have that others may find petty and invaluable, Taehyung’s still here. Even after he voiced out his disappointment of you and things you’ve done him wrong, Taehyung hasn’t walked out. He didn’t run away, he didn’t leave you. Taehyung stayed.

And so, you take the cue the universe is giving you and put all your cards on the table again. You cross your fingers as you ask the question that has plagued your mind ever since Taehyung confessed he has long liked you. "Tae, Ha-have you already moved on from me?”

Taehyung sighs and for a second, you don’t breathe. But, you don’t have to hold it for long because when Taehyung looks at you again, a soft smile is on his face. “Unfortunately, no. Because even after all the shits you put me through, you still occupy my heart–and mind.”

“S-so, can I kiss you?”

“I’m the one who’s supposed to say that, but, ye-yeah you can kiss me. Anything for you, Y/N.”

You close your eyes and lean forward. Your lips meet his in a soft peck and everything suddenly stops. You don’t feel the perspiration on your back from all the running in the booth. You don’t think about the dust and dirt soiling your dress. All you could feel was Taehyung’s soft lips. All you could taste is the sweetness from the crumbs of cherry tart left on his lips. All that fills you nose is Taehyung’s smell that’s so naturally his and his ocean mist spray you gifted him on his birthday. All you could hear is the loud pounding of your heart, and even with your eyes closed, Taehyung’s face is all you could see. And, you can’t think of anything but Taehyung–him and him alone.

The world suddenly moves again when Taehyung leans deeper and interlocks his lips with yours. You immediately let your heart take over. You mold yourself closer to him, kissing him with every ardor you’ve kept locked in yourself for so long. You fist his shirt and Taehyung caresses your cheeks and puts his hand on the back of your neck as he kisses you deeper. You loop your arms around his neck and return the vigor of his kiss. Teeth bumping, fingers reaching and clutching onto anything, sloppy interlocking of lips–you don’t care. Even if you have your first kiss in a gloomy, creepy horror booth, nothing else mattered but the boy in front of you. Taehyung’s here and he’s finally in your arms. You don’t have to long for him from afar anymore because now he’s here with you and he’s not leaving you. He’s finally yours.

The same thought probably runs into Taehyung as you feel him grin into your lips before kissing you again. And even when the creepy background music of the booth starts again, you can only focus on the gentle way Taehyung’s thumbs coursed over your cheeks while tenderly pecks your lips as your kiss comes into a close.

As you draw back a little to look at your friend, your crush, and now your lover, Kim Taehyung, in the hideous purple uniform you used to wear in the ticket booth with silly rabbit ears perched atop his hazel locks, you can’t help but smile. Taehyung may be the center of the world while you watch him from the side, but at the end of the day, he’s right. You’re just two people who are happy being with each other. There’s no boundaries, no walls separating him from you and you from him. You just have to see him for what he is and take the leap. You don’t need to re-enact Romcom clichés just to bring him towards you because he’s never been away from you from the start.

Taehyung leans his forehead on yours and smiles. “I love you, Y/N. I’ve waited for so long for this.”

“Me too,” you grin, “And, I love you too, Tae.”

Taehyung chuckles and presses another peck on your lips.

Just right then, you can feel a vibrant white light on your face.

“Yo, lovebirds, are you finally together?”

You turn to the direction of the voice and it’s Jimin. Behind him are Lisa and Seokjin, walking from the right pathway while making kissy faces at you.

It all clicks in: Lisa and Seokjin hanging out with you, leading you to the 13th House, and disappearing like smoke the moment you reached the longest hallway of the booth. It’s to get you alone with Taehyung and finally talk everything out before you leave your part-time jobs.

You frown at your friends. But, before you can voice out how can they just up and leave you like that, Taehyung beats you to it.

“Jimin, you bastard! You pushed me towards the backstage passageway, shoved a flashlight into my hand, and just left me in the middle of this fucking scary booth. Is this how you treat your best bud?!”

Jimin laughs. “But at least you got the girl!”

“Yeah,” Lisa says. “Watching you two stupidly tiptoe around each other for so long started to make me sick.”

“And we know you two can’t sort out your stupidity alone, so we decided to give you a little push.” Seokjin looks at Taehyung. “Quite literally in your case.”

Taehyung scowls and opens his mouth but Jimin cuts him to it.

“Thank me later, lover boy. It’s time we get out of this booth. Jungkook’s gonna piss me out for practically renting the 4th stop without paying.” Jimin heads to the right path where he came from. “So let’s take our exit now so you two can finally ride together into the sunset.” He turns to you and Taehyung and smirks, “Well, literally and figuratively.”

Taehung attempts to hit him but Jimin scampers away and hollers, “You’re welcome, bro. And you too, Y/N!” Lisa and Seokjin laugh as they follow Jimin, leaving you and Taehyung walking at the back.

Taehyung turns to you. “So…are you free tomorrow? I realized I haven’t taken you to a date yet. Like, a date date”

“Yeah, I’m free. But, where will we go?”

Taehyung rubs his nape. “Well, I don’t know yet…I’m sorry I asked you when I don’t have any plans yet, I just want to be with you tomorrow–”

“It’s okay,” you smile. “We can meet at the carnival, then.”

“The carnival?”

“Yeah. Not as the prince and the ticketbooth attendant or vice versa. Just Taehyung and Y/N.”

Taehyung smiles. “I would like that. Pick you up at your house on five?”

“That’s alright with me,” you lean into his arm and look up at him, “boyfriend.”

Taehyung blushes and you giggle. You let him hold your hand as you make your way out of the horror booth to spend the rest of Enchanted Carnival’s Halloween Party with a salary waiting for you, happy and giddy, and most importantly, in love.

In every success story, there is a ninety percent probability you will hear “Fake it ‘til you make it.” Sometimes, it worked out for you, but most of the time, it didn’t. Like how you tried to use this tactic to get your crush to like you, your plans don’t usually go the way you expect them. But it’s okay, because life doesn’t work that way. It took you stressful planning days, frustrating reactions, and tearful nights for you to realize that life is not always a stage where people can just “fake” everything ‘til the script is fulfilled. Roles can be changed and mistakes can happen. What’s important is: You may have not “fake it ‘til you make it,” but at least you worked for it ‘til you made it.

A/N pt. 2 | I wrote this fic after having a massive eureka moment and I haven’t edited this out yet because it’s 2 A.M. and we die like brave men here. Anyway, planning this story was really a challenge! This is the first time I tried this AU so I researched stuff and had to like, fix and re-fix some of my plot points as I write through. Second, I wanted to incorporate the adorable prompt in a completely unexpected way so I hope it did what I intended for it to do. Also, I enjoyed making up the names of the Romcom clichés OC used. They are literal Romcom clichés but I can’t find what they’re officially called (aside from Makeover Montage) so I just made the rest up AHHAHAH. I hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it!

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polyhexian · 4 years ago

Text

zero_one is such a fucking powerful album. i almost wish it had released when i was still a youtuber cuz i would have legitimately put out an hour long video talking about it cuz i just have so many thoughts about it, its had such a profound impact on me. its just so visceral, so unbelievably, irrevocably vulnerable, so uncomfortably honest. it hits in a way nothing else ive ever heard has. theres a lot of music that manage to weave feeling into sound but this specific feeling, these specific thoughts- ive never heard them depicted like this. its so aggressive, so violent and grieving and unapologetic and open. the unrepentant misery of fame and success without safety or stability, the grief of unrealized creativity, of being an artist trapped by the reality of being a content creator.

the love i need is this aggressively poppy song ostensibly disguised as some kind of love or lost love song, at a casual listen perhaps about a person, but- no, thats not it at all. the love i need is so clearly about the misery of performance, of creating and feeling hollow. “I don’t get the love i need anymore,” i create works of art that take my heart and soul and the response does not fulfill me, its “its been a long time since no mercy” from Lazy. “and they told me dance” like a performing monkey. keep dancing, keep playing the game, continue, it doesn’t matter how tired you are or if you no longer enjoy the game, keep playing. they told me dance, whether you want to or not, no matter how tired you are, keep dancing. keep entertaining. keep creating or you cease to be relevant. you will lose everything.

meanwhile Lazy is overt and angry, miserable and grieving, self loathing, the artist berating himself for being lazy and being unable to keep being a wunderkind with every release, unable to capture lightning in a bottle again and again and again, depressed and trapped in bad, trapped by deadlines and expectations choking him. its literally a narrative song about accepting this contract to make a full, professionally produced album and being unable to produce art on a schedule, of having to compromise artistic merit for production. literally “It’s been a long time since no mercy” is a lyric and so loaded it is

its what i want’s breakdown at the end that kills me. “i want to sing and make songs, i want to dance all day long, i wanna be a big part of a big corporation,” this miserable admission that he wants to make art but he wants also the financial security of selling out, he wants to be safe, he doesnt want to rely on the unreliable state of hitting it big randomly. and the video. him working in his room, time passing in the darkness, miserable, and then descending into this completely different world with bright colours and 2d skeletons and a colourful cartoon band, and he walks through and admits what he wants is not just to be an independent artist but to be protected by a corporation, to be famous and secure and safe, and then he takes a hand and steps up on stage and changes from his real self into this persona, the character, and finally is happy, only to at the end cut back to him in front of his computer screen.

drunk is literally like. ive never heard anything like it. ive never heard anyone talk about alcoholism, especially that kind of alcoholism so powerfully and violently before. when i lived in beijing i was so stressed and miserable i was doing a shot of vodka from the bottle every morning before i got on the subway. by summer of 2013 i was bringing a water bottle of vodka with me to work to take the edge off. i was drowning a whole bottle every time i lost another job and stumbling into the street so wasted i could barely walk, sobbing and miserable and listening to drunk makes me uncomfortable. its so fucking powerful

i just cant wait to die hits that fucking. god. im so tired and i cant wait to be done. im so tired, let me be done, please

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lanaisnotwool · 4 years ago

Video

youtube

416 Achieving impossible goals - Interview with Rod Khleif

http://moneyripples.com/2020/08/18/416-achieving-impossible-goals-interview-with-rod-khleif/

Have you ever noticed a big opportunity before anyone else… and just felt like the slowpokes who miss this are absolutely insane?

Well, that’s Rod Khleif when it comes to multi-family real estate.

His love affair started in 1977 when he was just 17. Mom bought a neighbor’s property that grew in value $20,000 in just three years.

He was blown away that she’d made $20k in her sleep and was sold on the power of real estate. That ROI meant a fortune to a poor immigrant family like ours who could only afford to shop at Goodwill.

2,000 properties later … He's gained a wealth of lessons, strategies, heartbreaks, and little known secrets to help you build endless wealth and cash flow through real estate.

In particular, that multi-family investment IS your safest, most reliable, and most recession-proof ticket to leaving the rat race and retiring rich, passionate and fulfilled.

Listen to our Podcast here:

https://www.blogtalkradio.com/moneyripples/2020/07/10/416--achieving-impossible-goals-interview-with-rod-khleif

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris Miles (00:00): Hello, my fellow Ripplers! This is Chris Miles. Your Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor. Welcome you out for a wonderful show. A show that’s for you and about you. Those of you that work so hard for your money, but you’re ready for your money to start working harder for you. Now! You want that freedom. That cash flow. That prosperity. Today! Not 30 or 40 years from now, if you’re lucky and the market smiles on you, right? But today, so you have that life of freedom being with those you love doing what you love whenever the heck you feel like it. But guys, it’s so much more than just your own prosperity and financial abundance, right? It’s about becoming a Rippler. By creating a ripple effect in the lives of others. Because as you are blessed, you can turn around and bless the lives of those around you. Now only in your family and generations beyond you, but even across the community and the people that surround you and you come in contact with.

Chris Miles (00:52): And guys, I appreciate you allowing me to create that ripple effect through you because without you guys, that would not be possible. Again, thank you so much for tuning in. For bingeing. For sharing with others. This has been fantastic. Thank you so much! Quick reminder. Check out our website, MoneyRipples.com There’s some great blogs on there, as well as the free ebook, Beyond Rice & Beans, Seven Secrets to Free Up Cash Today. That you can find now. So check it out.

Chris Miles (01:16): Alright, guys! So today I’ve got a special guest. I’ve got Rod Khleif here where I’ve known through reputation for quite some time. Both in the investor space, but also the business owner space as well. So definitely man of no small reputation. In fact, I guarantee that several of you have even heard him before, whether you’ve heard him speak or know of his, the different deals he’s done or whatever it might be.

Chris Miles (01:36): But a little about Rod, he is a multiple business owner and philanthropist who is passionate about entrepreneurship and giving back. So he’s got his own ripple effect. He’s creating himself. As one of the country’s top business, real estate and peak performance luminaries. Rod has owned over 2000 homes and apartment buildings and has built over 22 businesses in his 40 year business career. Several of which have been worth tens of millions of dollars. He started from humble beginnings and we’ll have talking to him about that, but now he’s big on the psychology of success and mindset and whether it’s in business or investing or whatever, it might be. Huge guy, but also a great heart does a lot with benefits and charities and the likes. So rod, welcome to our show!

Rod Khleif (02:16): Thanks, Chris! Let’s have some fun today. I appreciate you having me on brother.

Chris Miles (02:19): You bet! So I definitely want to save some of your story for these listeners. So those that have never been interest in you before, tell us more about you and what led you down this path.

Rod Khleif (02:27): Sure! Sure! Sure! So I’ll go back all the way. I immigrated this country when I was six years old from Holland. I was born in the Netherlands and with my brother Albert in my mother’s mansion. And we ended up in Denver, Colorado, where I lived for 30 years. And I’ll tell you, we didn’t have much growing up. In fact, well, you know, my mom bought expired food cause it was half price and she gave us powdered milk because she thought milk was healthy. And you know, and I grew up wearing clothes from the Goodwill and the salvation army all the way through junior high school till I lied about my age and got a job at Burger King and was able to buy my own clothes. But you know, and I’m sure you’ve got listeners that had it harder than we did, or maybe have been hard now with all this COVID nonsense. But thing is I knew I wanted more. And luckily my mom had an incredible work ethic. And so she bought the house across the street from us when I was 14 for about $30,000. Now, when I was 17, she told me it had gone up $20,000 in her sleep. And I’m like, what? You made 20 grand? You didn’t do anything? And so as a screw college, I’m getting into real estate. So I got into real estate when I turned 18, I got my real estate broker’s license and I was going to be rich selling other people houses. Well, my first year in real estate, I made about eight grand. My second year, maybe 10 grand.

Rod Khleif (03:41): But my third year I made well over a hundred thousand dollars. Which back in 1981 for 21 year old was some decent change. And so what happened between year two and year three, that caused me to 10X my income. Well, what happened was I met a guy that taught me about mindset. Taught me about psychology. How really 80% to 90% of your success in anything is your mindset in your psychology only 10% to 20% is the skill set. The knowledge. You know, if it was just the knowledge, there’d be a bunch of wealthy librarians and college professors out there. It’s the do. It’s the taking action. It’s to getting back up when you get your nose bloody. And so, you know, again, fast forward to today, I’ve owned over 2000 houses that I rented longterm, multiple apartment complexes. That bio you read from is actually dated.

Rod Khleif (04:24): I built 24 businesses. And yes, several have been worth tens of millions of dollars, but all the rest were, I call them, I don’t call them failures. I call them seminars. All the rest were spectacular flaming seminars. And because it’s only a failure, if you don’t get back up, you know, or you don’t get the lesson. But in 2006, my net worth went up $17 million while I slept. Okay. And you know, when that happens, people could tend to get a big head. Well, I got a big head. I thought I was a real estate God. And when that happens, sometimes God or the universe, whatever you believe will give you a nice little SmackDown. Well, that was 2008 for me. I lost that 50 million and a whole lot more. And I’m in the 17 million a whole lot more. I lost $50 million.

Rod Khleif (05:08): And one thing I like to talk about Chris, if we have time, is the mindset it took first of all, to have 50 million to lose in the first place, but then to recover from that and to the success that I’m blessed to enjoy today. So if you’d like, I’m happy to drill down on that a little bit, you know, or we can go talk about the mechanics and multifamily. Whatever you want to go. But I think…

Chris Miles (05:29): Let’s go that direction. Yeah, because I know they’ve heard my story about my comeback after 2008 and everything, but I know they’d love to hear yours and see similarities.

Rod Khleif (05:37): Alright. Well, I hope you didn’t lose 50 million brother. That’s all…

Chris Miles (05:40): Not even close. No.

Rod Khleif (05:41): Alright! Well, so how did I recover? Well, how I recovered was knowing exactly what I wanted and knowing why I wanted it. Now, I used to do sold out live events when there were live events. My last one was supposed to be in Orlando with 700 or 800 people. And of course we know what happened. So I’ve turned them in. They become livestream events now, and I had 900 people in my last one. One of the first things we do is what I’m going to share with you at a high level very quickly, is a goal setting workshop on steroids. Now, if you want to see me guide you through this, I did this on my Rod Khleif official page on January 1st. And I guide you through it with music and I give you a guide you can download and everything. So feel free to do that, but I’m going to give you the highlights right now. So what you’ve got to do is get real clear. So pick an hour when you have a lot of energy and don’t do it right after a meal, make sure you’re well-hydrated and sit down and write down everything you could ever possibly want in life.

Rod Khleif (06:37): All the stuff. The houses, the cars, the boats, the jetskis, the planes, everything. Take the lid off your brain. Imagine if you write it down, you’re going to get it, which is not outside the realm of reality because you know, I’m sure if you’re listening to Chris, that you already do your goals, but this is, this process is going to be deeper. So trust me on this. It’s not just the stuff, but write down all this stuff. Cause we want stuff. We all want it. The, you know, all that stuff and there’s nothing wrong with stuff, but we’re going to go deeper. So, but when you write your goal down, what it does is it trigger something in your brain called your reticular activating system, which is that filter that subconsciously you don’t even know it’s happening. Filters out. It directs you to what your brain thinks you’re interested in. You want to focus on.

Rod Khleif (07:22): And the greatest example is when you first buy a car. You never really noticed them before and you buy one and they’re everywhere. Were they there before? Of course they were. But that’s your reticular activating system. And that’s the power of reassociating with your goals as often as possible. So sit down, write down everything you could possibly want. Big things, little things, how much cash you want in the bank say in three years, how much cash you want 10 years also write down how much income you want from your investments. Say in three years, and in 10 years. Then write down what you want to do in your lifetime. Maybe you want to, you know, climb all the mountains over 14,000 feet in the world. I’ve got a friend doing that. Maybe you want to, you know, write a book. Maybe you want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

Rod Khleif (08:04): I did that about eight months ago. I’ll never freak and do it again, but it’s off the list. I got it done. So write down everything you want to do, but also write down everything you want to learn this lifetime. Maybe you want to learn a foreign language. You want to learn a skill. If you want to learn multifamily, come see me. I’m at my next bootcamp in July, but whatever it is, write down everything you want to learn. Then lastly, write down who you want to help. Maybe you, you know, family. I bought my parents a house on a canal in Florida, took them, you know, when they were alive and come on cruises, bought them a car. Who do you want to do something for? Write that down. And then, and if you’re analytical, please don’t stop and analyze it. Just keep writing until you can’t think of another thing.

Rod Khleif (08:49): You can always scratch it out later. Once you can’t think of another thing, then it’s not real. What you’ve written down is not real until it’s measurable. So write down how long it’s going to take you to achieve it. How many years? Put a one, a three, a five, even a 10 or a 20. Recognizing that as human beings, we will overestimate what we can do in a year and massively underestimate what we can do in 5, 10, 20 years. You know, I’ll give you an example of this. When I was 18, I always knew I wanted to live on the beach. You know, and there’s no beach in Denver. And so I, you know, I would visualize the Palm trees and the surf and the sand. And of course the bikinis. I’m a guy. And what’s crazy is 20 years later, I built this magnificent mansion on the beach, 8,000 square feet, you know, I’m sorry, 10,000 square feet, $8 million property just magnificent home, which was unthinkable when I was 18. So the point is take the lid off your brain. And just, if you write it down, you’re going to get it. That’s how you want to play this. Then once you’ve got a time limit on each goals, a couple more steps. I want you to pick your number one goal. That goal, when you get like, Oh my God! This is amazing! That goal. Put that on another piece of paper. Then pick your top three, one year goals, put those on a separate sheet of paper and leave some room in between them.

Rod Khleif (10:06): Now the goals are important. You need them. But what we’re going to do next is even more important. You need to write down why those goals are an absolute freaking must to achieve. So you want, and you want to use emotionally charged words in what you want to use emotion to drive this. Words like amazing, incredible, wonderful, beautiful. Use emotionally charged words so that, you know, maybe it’s. So you’re going to put so we can have freedom. My family can have freedom. We can go do whatever we want. Whenever we want, bring whoever we want, you know, whatever it is. Maybe you put so I can show my kids what success looks like, or I can show my spouse what success looks like, you know, and you know, whatever it is for you write it down. Then once you can’t, you know. You’re going to write the positive reasons why it’s an absolute must to achieve the goal.

Rod Khleif (10:52): But I also want you to put some negative reasons or negative things down. If you don’t achieve the goal. And here’s why. As human beings, we will do more to avoid pain and gain pleasure. She want to use this because this is the fuel to get your butt, to stay up late, to get up early, to, you know, to push this side hustle. Like most of us doing this as a side hustle, when we start, you know, to grind now and play later. We’ll live a few years, like most people won’t. So we can live the rest of our lives. Like most people can’t. And so put some pain in there! If you don’t achieve the goal. So I don’t feel like a failure. So I don’t live a life of regret. So I don’t fail my kids. So I don’t fail my life for my husband. Make it freaking painful!

Rod Khleif (11:31): You know, there was a nurse in Australia, Chris, a hospice nurse, her name was Bronnie Ware. And she asked people that were dying a question. And she wrote a book about it. But the question was, do you have any regrets? And the books called the five regrets of dying. You wonder what? The number one regret was. It was not living the life I could have lived. Living someone else’s life, not living up to my own expectations for what I was capable of. Guys, screw that! As well. I got to tell you, and that’s why we’re doing this goal setting workshop. So you’ve written the positive reasons. Why negative reasons, why it’s an absolute must. Last thing is you got to get pictures of your goals because you manifest this stuff in your life. I’ll give you some public examples of it. Jim Carrey. When he was flat broke, if you Google Jim Carrey check, you’ll see this wrote himself a check for 10 million bucks.

Rod Khleif (12:21): And he used to go by the Hollywood sign. He’d sit at it. He put in the little remittance. Those of you that are millennial, a check is something used to write to pay for things, right? But he’d look at it. And that’s how much money he made for Dumb and Dumber. One of his first movies. I’ll give you a more recent example. Demi Lovato. When she was an unknown. I don’t know, it was American idol or how she got known, but 10 years ago said she was going to sing in the super bowl. She sang in this last Superbowl, I’ll give you some personal examples of mine. You know, when I got my real estate broker’s license, I was going to get rich selling people houses. So I got a four door car, cause I got to show people houses, right? So I got this Ford four door, Granada. Bone ugly bench seat in the front ugliest freaking piece of crap you’ve ever saw in your life.

Rod Khleif (13:06): But I worked with a guy that had a Corvette. And he let me drive it. And I’m like, Oh my God! This is incredible! So I, this was before you could spell internet that hadn’t been thought of yet. And so I got a picture out of a magazine of a Corvette put on the visor of my Granada. Every time I sat in the car was right there in front of my face, within a year or two, I had a Corvette. I’ll give you some more examples, but please know this is not me bragging, none of this because this stuff doesn’t even interest me anymore. But I’m hoping to inspire you guys. So this is back when the TV show Magnum PI was around and it was a detective story. Actor’s name was Tom Selleck and he drove this awesome Ferrari 308. And I saw that.

Rod Khleif (13:43): I’m like, Oh my God, that thing’s amazing. So I got a picture of that actual car put on the visor of my Corvette. Then a year or two, I got a Maserati looked just like it. Last example, car example. I’m the guy that always wanted a Lamborghini. I had posters in my bedroom of the Lamborghinis and the bikini’s in the soap and the whole thing. Yeah. All through high school. What’s funny is my son collected models of exotic cars. And he had a model of the exact same color and style Lamborghini that I ended up getting. Like, let me show you something. I don’t know. Do you put this on YouTube as well? Okay. Hang on one sec. I’ve got my planner here. This is my planner. Okay. In the back, Yeah. I’m a dinosaur. I use a paper planner. I also use outlook though, but I’m not completely, you know, Neanderthal, but in the back of this thing are pictures that have been in here for 20 years.

Rod Khleif (14:31): Okay. 20 years they’re in plastic. And first pictures of my gratitude pictures. They’re pictures of my kids when they were very young. Okay guys, because everything starts from a place of gratitude. That’s the foundational emotion. That’s the most important emotion there is. So pictures of my kids. Then I’ve got pictures of the houses that I wanted. This top picture is just like that house on the beach. Look, the travertine floors, the 10 foot high glass, just like that. This bottom picture. It looks just like the compound I live in. Now. I live in a compound at six buildings. I lost the house in all the craziness, but I’ve got six buildings, giant, main house, a beautiful guest house on the water. I’ve got an exercise facility, a media center with a theater room and a video studio. And it’s just magnificent because God’s got a sense of humor.

Rod Khleif (15:14): I can see my old house across the Bay. Every time I go in my backyard, it’s right there. But this is what it looks like. There’s a wall like that behind me. It usually, I’m in an asset right now. 403 unit asset we have in Louisiana. So I’m here. So I don’t have my backdrop, which is my backyard. And that wall, these walls is what I have behind me. It’s just crazy! From 20 years ago. And then I’ve got, you know, stupid shit like watches. I’ve got a few hundred thousand dollars of the watches. Again, Lamborghini before I ever got it. You know, the Rolls-Royce, the Bentley, all this stuff that I got because I had pictures. So, you know, I know I lost some of you analytical ones, but I’m here to tell you a big mistake because this freaking works! Okay. So get pictures, put them around you. Put them on your screensaver, put them on the wall. And at some point you’re going to have this stuff gets into your subconscious. Anyway, I’m off my soul box. Chris, thank you for letting me rant.

Chris Miles (16:04): Hey, no, that’s cool! And even if they’re analytical, man, this is actually the meat and potatoes right here.

Rod Khleif (16:09): This is it! If you want it. I mean, this is how I recovered from losing 50 million bucks. Some people don’t recover from that. I mean, you know, it was refocusing on what I wanted. It was reassociating with what I wanted. You know, so easy to focus on the pain and the hurt. People connect through pain. They don’t connect through positivity. They connect through pain. How you doing? Oh, my back’s killing me! Oh! Come here brother. But if you go, how you doing? Fantastic, man! Life is great! There’ll be like, take 10 steps back that guy’s crazy. Some people connect through pain and, but what you focus on gets bigger, you know? And a great example of this is Mother Teresa. They asked her if she was anti-war. She said, no, I’m pro peace.

Chris Miles (16:46): That’s right. That’s right. No, it’s fascinating you’re bringing this up because just last night, my wife and I were talking about some different cases of people that they’ve been doing personal development for decades, some even decades. Right? Doing it forever. But the crazy thing is that the biggest block they have is they have no clue what they want. And it’s like that Mark Twain quote, right? It’s like, I can get people whatever they want. I just can’t find anybody who knows what that is. And most people know what other people want.

Rod Khleif (17:18): How are you going to ever get it?

Chris Miles (17:19): Yeah.

Rod Khleif (17:21): Before I met my wife, I literally wrote a four page full typed up of high level of detail, exactly what I was looking for in this human being. And the minute I met her, I knew it was her. And the minute I met her, because I had clearly defined what it was. That’s the only way you’re going to get it guys with clarity. Clarity is power. Okay. Do you want as much detail as possible? And these things that you want, you want to go experience them? One of my bucket list items now is to get a yacht, either to rent one or to own one and go around the, we went to the Amalfi coast spectacular! And that the yachts there. And I want to take the, take a yacht around the boot of Italy and go to Croatia, Greece and Spain and everything else. So I went to the Miami boat show back in February when there was no Corona virus. And I BS my way onto these super yachts and sat in the captain’s chair and visualized it because it freaking works. Guys. I visualize myself owning this thing, laid on the bed, walked around. Like I own the place because I know it works. It gets your brain going and honed in. So…

Chris Miles (18:24): That’s a key point. You know, like if you’re trying to figure out a way to image it, cause for me, if it’s imaged in my mind, it will happen. Right? Like if they can go from the page to my brain and I can see myself there and one of the best ways is trying to experience it. So like, I remember a guy said, Hey, his goal was to buy a Mercedes McLaren. He’s like, I want a McLaren. I’m like, well, great. You don’t have to buy it today. Like go rent it for a week. There’s exotic cars that are for rent. Like go rent it. You know, if after a week you’re bored of it and then great. At least you don’t have to buy that thing. You know, at least to say, Hey, for a week, I enjoy this. It was awesome. You know, and I think that’s the right way to do it.

Rod Khleif (18:58): Sure. No, you, you need to experience it. And like I said, I drove that Corvette and that was it. I knew, I knew I had to have it once you experienced something. There’s no going back. Let me say one other thing about goals. So this is really important cause I know we’re low on time. I remember I talked about that house on the beach. You know, I built this house. It was magnificent. Okay. I mean three stories of giant waterfall out of the second floor balcony into the pool. Elevator wine cellar. I mean to give you an idea of the house and this a giant spiral staircase that went up through the middle and on the second floor, there was an aquarium that I had custom built that curved around the staircase that cost me almost 200 grand. So that gives you an idea of the house. So two months after I moved in, and I worked for this thing for 20 years, I just want to mention this because it ties into goals. I worked for this thing for 20 years. Two months after I moved in, I’m floating in the pool at night.

Rod Khleif (19:44): My family is inside asleep and the pool is changing colors. It’s got fiber optic lighting and I got depressed. I don’t mean I just got a little bummed. I mean, I got really bummed. And I’m like, what the hell! I had just achieved success like times a thousand and I’m bummed. And so I went and bought some books and one of them was Tony Robbins book. He’s got several, it was online. It was a Unleash The Power Within. It was the book, the particular book. But, so I went and saw him live and I found out that he fed families for the holidays. I’m like, wow, what a concept? Do something for someone else. Cause I had been totally focused on me. Okay. And you know, I built this house. This Testament to my ego is what I call it because it was just proved to the world that I was good enough.

Rod Khleif (20:22): That’s the truth of it. It’s embarrassing to admit that, but that’s the truth. And it was just to prove myself. And so I’ve been, it was all Rod, Rod, Rod, me, me, me focus on Rod and I. And so I came back from that event and decided to feed five families for the holidays. It was Thanksgiving back then. Now we do it for Christmas, but that gave my life fulfillment. You know, there’s a big difference between achievement and fulfillment. In fact, Tony calls it, the science of achievement versus the art of fulfillment. So there’s one thing to be successful, but it’s much more important to be fulfilled. And so now i fed 75,000 children for the holidays over the last 20 years, we’ve done tens of thousands of backpacks, full of school supplies for local kids. We’ve done tens of thousands of Teddy bears to give to police departments for their officers to keep in cars when they encounter a child.

Rod Khleif (21:08): And again, I’m not trying to brag or tell you, you have to do anything this grandiose, but I know if you’re listening to Chris, you want success. And you may be thinking when I’m successful, I’ll give back. Big mistake! Give now! Because your success is going to come faster and you’ll be happier and more fulfilled on the path. You know, my podcast just hit 8 million downloads and I’ve interviewed huge people in the space, but I can at millionaires billionaires. And I can tell when someone’s like I was back then totally focused on themselves. And I feel sorry for them because I recognize that it was me. And so guys, if you’re listening and you’re thinking, you know, you want to achieve to be happy. I’m going to tell you to give back in some fashion. It doesn’t have to be huge. Just pick a, pick a cause children, the elderly, pets, the environment, whatever it is. And give back now, because if you’re going to get there much faster, if you’re happily achieving versus achieving to be happy.

Chris Miles (22:04): Amen to that! That’s exactly the point I would make too, it’s all about what you can create. You know, we’re only here for so long in this planet, what kind of legacy we’re going to leave behind and that’s gotta be greater fulfillment of our lives.

Rod Khleif (22:16): Anything in this universe that does not contribute. Believe it or not is actually eliminated. Contribution’s a basic human need. We have to contribute in some fashion and we are not whole, if we don’t. So it’s very, very important that we do.

Chris Miles (22:30): I love it! So Rod, if all of our people here, our listeners want to follow you, like, and learn anything from you. How would they do that?

Rod Khleif (22:37): I’m having a two day virtual bootcamp, July 25th and 26th. I’m not selling anything. It’s 16 hours of, if you’re interested in multifamily real estate, it’s kind of a dud it’s $97. Just come. Just trust me. You’ll be glad you did. It’s a no brainer. And it’s me teaching multifamily real estate, you know, and mindset as well. But it’s drinking through a fire hose. I will tell you that if you’re not interested in multifamily, you just, you want the boost. The motivational boost, my podcast, I do a clip every week called Own Your Power. It’s five minutes and it’ll juice you. Okay? I play music and it’s motivational. It’s powerful stuff. I’m really proud of those. I’ve done hundreds of them. And so, you know, just even if you’re not interested in multifamily, come see me there. But the bootcamp is if you text Rod Live to 41411, it will get you the website. The website’s, MultifamilyVirtualBootCamp.com I have a lot of fun with it. Again, I had to shift, I had to pivot. I mean, we’re innovating right now. We’re in COVID. So we had to change things and you know, the website, you’ll see me in the backyard, filming the video about why it’s important to come spend two days with me. Cause we pivoted like in three days I got that website up. But we got rave reviews. We had 900 people in the last one and we never dropped below about 720 people watching the entire two days. So…

Chris Miles (23:54): That’s excellent!

New Speaker (23:55): And then my website as well, my podcast, by the way, if you put Real Estate in your iPhone, I usually come up number one or two with Bigger Pockets, but it’s Lifetime CashFlow, that’s the name of the podcast. Lifetime Cashflow through real estate investing. And then my website, I’ve got tons of free materials, books and articles and videos, just hundreds. And it’s RodKhleif.com My last name. My full name, Rod Khleif. And my last name is spelled K H L E I F. So…

Chris Miles (24:21): Awesome! Well that’s, should definitely put that in the show notes so everybody can tune in whichever resonates with you, whichever you say, Hey, this is where I need to be right now. And we’ll make sure we get that there. So everybody, if you’re listening to this, Hey, the next event’s 25th and 26th. So make sure you’re there. That’s not far from there. So…

Rod Khleif (24:38): No, no, no. You’ll be glad you came. I promise! Promise you. We had hundreds of raving testimonials after this last one. So we have a lot of fun. We have a lot of fun with it. Life’s about having fun, right?

Chris Miles (24:49): Absolutely. That’s it. It’s all about that quality man. All right, well, appreciate your time, Rod. It’s so much great value in such a power pack short amount of time. I appreciate it so much!

Rod Khleif (24:59): Thank you brother!

Chris Miles (25:00): And the rest of you guys. Hey, it’s one thing to be a hearer of the word. It’s another to be a doer of the word. I challenge you to be a doer to actually go and take this and apply it. That’s the difference between successful and those that aren’t. Is those that actually go and do what we talk about here. So guys, I hope you make it a wonderful and prosperous week. And we’ll see you later!

#Anti-financial Advisor #Cash flow #Cash flow Expert #Debts #Entrepreneur #Financial Freedom #Money Ripples

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