#nothing kendall does is ever going to be good enough!

[cogcltrcorn]

don't know about you but like. I am sooo much more invested in the idea of iverson being kendall's biologically and logan just. refusing to acknowledge it. like straight up looking at this child which was Hard Fucking Won (years of trying, ivf), and going "no. this one is weird. I don't like this one". (because acknowledging an autistic child would mean acknowledging that there may be something Wrong with The Bloodline. acknowledging an autistic child would maybe mean acknowledging that there was something Wrong with kendall too. I imagine every fucking time he sees rava and kendall interacting with iverson with any measure of compassion he wants to throw them both into the sun because when HE raised kendall he didn't do ANY OF THIS SHIT and HE turned out ""NORMAL"")

[richeeduvie]

Begging for a one shot or Drabble about baby and Roman’s yearly trip to the restaurant where they tell the waiter they’re siblings and make out? 🙏🧎‍♀️

Too Little Birthday

✭・.・✫ ✭・.・✫ ✭・.・✫ ✭・.・

Roman Roy x Reader Drabble Roman clings onto this girl like a damn life-raft.

-- Roman's a bit too invested in how his yearly birthday present goes when it has to come a little early. --

Warnings: a motivated make-out session, obvious mentions of false-incest, whiny Roman Roy what's new. Jealously, slight angst. The f slur. This draft is from a long, long time ago.

✭・.・✫ ✭・.・✫ ✭・.・✫ ✭・.

"Happy birthday, Roman. You're gonna be eighty-nine and five years old!"

Roman straightens his back out against the booth chair with a jump in his seat. More like a shimmy.

"Yeah, tomorrow - let's just hurry up to the sissy brothy kissy kissy section of this."

You want to sigh. Roman's frustrated. His birthday present is one day early. It's due to a long, very important event Tom will have with you, him, and Greg tomorrow. With that and Roman's business intermingling with yours tomorrow when you're all traveling to Pennsylvania, there's not a lot of room to give him his birthday present on his birthday.

Roman knows that, but that's not going to stop him from whining about it. Not in direct words, just eyes and jabby-voiced demands.

"Let's have fun with it, it's your present. We've got time to turn people red-"

"It's my present and I'm asking you to tongue me like a twin would."

You smile. Sure, you'll indulge quicker than you planned. It is his birthday present after all.

"You're gonna have to move closer if you want that, Rome."

The first time Roman asked for this, it made you concerned - not in a confrontational manner, that'd put you in a situation where Roman would "never forgive you" for judging him on his birthday. Although you know the things Roman says are just things Roman say, that if Kendall or...anything said them, you'd be greatly disturbed, there was the question of if Roman wanted you to roleplay as his sister. Shiv. Your friend. That would've been too much.

But Roman put it in words that soothed you enough to be more than happy to go along with his favor.

"Ew. No. I mean, I can and will still spitball a good sexed-up joke with her...and hell, maybe with Ken too during pride month for the fags but this...you're pretending to be a different sister. Duh. You are my sister and we are going to make out. Though - he’d probably rip bits of me off if I ever tried it, that’s why Shiv is chill.” 

“...Don’t say fags.” 

“You just did.”

So, he kisses you, lathers your lips with his tongues and fitting to his descriptions, Roman tongues you. Your heads and mouths move against each other, bucking up before your hand takes up his cheek. Your heart beats in your head and it's only moments before the vein of his forehead begins to throb.

"...Sir, Ma'am, are you ready to...Sir?"

Roman takes five seconds more of the make out before he slowly pulls away. Knowingly slowly - like he's a fucking asshole. You smile slight. He straightens his spine with a thin, smug mouth. His head tilts off to the side.

"Sorry to make you wait, even though that's kind of your whole thing. Me and my sis just get too excited celebrating our birthday."

You cover your mouth with your intertwined hands, elbows on the table. This has happened every year for the past five years and it just...it never gets easier. It's why Roman does most of the talking, just until his eyes are whining for you to be into it. It only matters if you like it as much as him, if his present is yours too. The point of presents is that they're not for the gifters, but Roman's insecurities say otherwise.

But you'll never admit that it's a little too easy for you to play pretend, revel in the squirm of poor waiters who deserve more pay and days better than yours and Roman's pseudo-incest roleplay.

It's not easy at all, actually. When you think of it. 

“...I-I…mm. Okay…” 

The waiter blinks. There’s nothing but silence between the three of you. Roman’s a champ, really. His smugness, the snark of his face is only noticeable to you because you’ve loved and loved him since the beginning. This poor waiter couldn’t possibly know Roman’s just fucked in his yearly prank. 

“I-I I can read you the special-” 

“Aren’t you going to say happy birthday?” 

“Rome-”

“Don’t. See? In the womb, she took all of the generosity, the morality. The bitch. But I love her, still,” Roman takes your hands from your mouth. “…if we mention it’s our day of popping out into the womb, your hourly wage pay should be telling you to say happy birthday.” 

“Roman. Don’t.” 

You’ll play twin, but going after someone’s job - need for money, not today. Not even on his not-birthday. Pre-birthday day. 

“...Fine, sorry, sis.” Roman smacks his hand on the table, then points a finger gun towards the waiter. “You’ve been doing great in the two minutes I’ve known you. I guess that’s what I’m supposed to say.” 

He looks to your hand in his other hand and of course, with low-lidded eyes, you know he’d take the skin - what he would say is bait even though he was the one to take your hands in the first place. 

Roman sucks your fingers before he sniffs them. 

You all forget what the three of you are here for. A bead of sweat drips down the waiter’s forehead. 

“...Do you two want to skip to the desert? Our patrons highly-” 

The waiter chokes. 

“They like the piss.” The waiter’s hand deathgrip her notepad. “Pie! Fuck me.”

“Mm. No thanks, I’m taken. Your wage doesn’t even need to tell you that, social awareness does all the talking there.

“That sounds delicious, thank you.” 

“She didn’t even name the flavor-” 

“We’ll take the pie for now. And just water as well.” 

You straighten out your back, smiling up at the poor waiter before pressing your nose against Roman’s knuckles. 

“Did you get the birthday text from Dad yet?” 

Ordering Roman around is as much of a birthday gift as the incest thing is. He doesn’t push on the pie for the first course. But, of course, the waiter leaves as fast as she can. 

“Happy?” 

Roman slouches against the booth, scrunching his face up as if to say so-so. 

“She was acting as if she wasn’t about to squirt.” 

“I think she was genuinely terrified, but not as much as the last waiter we had last year. I think that’s why her horror appeared clement.” 

“I think incest is becoming more socially acceptable, that’s the tiktok era for you.” 

You blink against his knuckle. 

“...I think it’s the exact opposite. Like…actually, it’s the exact opposite.” 

“Superior bloodlines took to fucking, we could do it.” 

“I’m not your actual sibling.” 

“Did we ever ball out which one of us is the oldest?” 

“Me.” 

Roman’s smiley, stupidly with his thick-lidded eyes and he’s handsome, despite the fact he’s your brother for the day. It’s an easy gift for him, at least this year considering it’s already ruined for him - it being a day early already being too much. So, unlike the birthdays before, your boy doesn’t have to take to pretending he’s your brother the entire lunch date. Only when the waiter is present to watch in terror. 

“But your dad, Roman - tomorrow we need to find a way to coo-” 

And you two were talking about other things, but Roman took to watching other things.

“Roman?” 

When you turn to see where his furrowed brows point to, it’s when you realize it’s someone else he’s watching. You turn behind you, seeing the light of the sun hit a man across the restaurant. He looks to be your and Roman’s age. Wavy hair, a creepy-fucked sort of smile.  

He wears his own smug look, but when it’s not Rome’s…it strikes you wrong. Confusingly. You turn back. 

You watch Roman’s mouth and brows waver. 

“Hey, just ignore him. Just a guy.” 

“Why the fuck is he gawking? The fucker is about to lick his chops and shove his hand down his slacks and choke it.” 

Roman’s eyes go wide and jolt his head forward. A physical ‘what the fuck?’ to the man across the room. When you turn again, you see how it does nothing for him. He’s got his arms crossed. 

“Oh, what the fuck?” 

It’s what you want to say when both of you see the man come up and make his way towards you. 

 “I’m gonna drop my pants to scare him.” 

“Let’s say that as your father’s company is bombarded with sexual assault allegations. Let’s. Calm down-” 

“Hey. Just want to say - if she was my sister, I wouldn’t be able to resist either.”

Roman blinks. You blink. 

….Oh. 

“Sorry, I just heard a bit of it when I was walking in. And even if you’re just fucking around…just gotta say.”

The man sniffs before he laughs. And you know your eyes only portray horror when he puts up a fist of solidarity. 

“Sibling love.” 

Then, he smiles wide at you with a clicked tongue. Roman can’t do anything and you don’t want him to, to cause a scene, it won’t be a result of his gift, just pure and sudden anger. Loud, punchy words. But for now, as the man walks away, it’s just brutal eyes - perfect daggers that’d be even more handsome if you were able to think about it, but you can’t in how fucking confused you are. 

What the fuck? 

“What the fuck?” You turn to face Roman. “What the fuck was that? Should I…” 

You put your hands together, mouth parted in a pause as you lean forward. “Should I call someone?” 

The man across the table doesn’t look at you, but his brown eyes just focus on one spot on the table. The daggers pierce the wood there. 

And you already know. So, you sigh. You try to come into frame. 

“Roman, that was just a fucking freak.” 

What you always call him. That was a mistake in your wording and you know it when Roman’s eyes flicker up in fire. 

“Not a perfect freak. Not something I’d want in my bed or…ten feet away from me. What the fuck was that?” 

“...You didn’t-” 

“I didn’t do anything.” 

“On my not-birthday…you just…he’s your type.” Roman scratches his head and inhales sharply before his eyes shut tightly. “Wow. I fucking hated that. I wanna go home. I think we just met an actual sib-molester and he was your type.”

Okay, what the fuck?

“What the fuck? What are you talking about?” 

“It’s not your fault. But that was Stewy. And a freak. Your type. On my not-birthday. What the fuck is wrong with today? I wann-” 

“How did Stewy come into this conversation? You’re my type. That was weird and I feel like I need to call the cops but it’s nothing to get jealous over-” 

Roman looks down in his heavy and tense stare. He blinks fast with scratches to his face. He picks at his ear, it’s all the signs that he’s breaking a bit. 

“M’ not jealous. Not jealous. I just-” Roman pulls a hair or two out of his brown. “I just forgot other people can see you’re hot sometimes. It’s jilting. M’ sorry.”

Another sign is a lack of finished words and eye contact. 

“Normies do that, but someone who’s more of-I kinda thrive off of being the worst possible fuck…you like that and someone just took a shit on me like it was nothing. Another worst possible fuck with long legs saw you’re fuckable…lovable. Fine. Fine, it’s whatever. I wanna go home.” 

It’s all too much for you to know what to say. Too much to say much, but it’s your instinct to soothe, even if your heart throbs and flips with a bloodrush at how Roman insecurely wears his jealousy and how you’re the only one that can bring him down from the roof. 

“I just forgot…and my brain chemicals just losing regulation at the sight of him. Sorry.” 

“It’s okay, hey. Look at me.” 

And it takes a minute, but he listens to you. Roman looks up, eyes big and blinking. 

You kiss his knuckles. 

“You’re the only fucked person I know. I don’t think it’s possible to show much interest in…anything else. But seriously…what the fuck was that?” 

“What the fuck was that?” 

“I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.” 

You don’t know if there’s anything you have to make up for, but you sure Roman will find the reason tomorrow. An excuse for another birthday gift where you’re at his feet - or he’s at yours. 

He sniffles hard. 

“You’d get scratchy too if you were me.” 

…If you were him. That’s the truth, no one could ever get like this unless they were Roman. But you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[heavenbarnes]

would you please write a Sydney x reader where it’s the scene from season 1 where Sydney has reader over after “quitting” but r is being all flirty and says stuff like we want you back, I need you back

St. Sydney of Chicagoland

Sydney Adamu x reader

Warnings/contains: no mentions of readers gender, swearing, blasphemy, kissing, pining, yearning, all the works.

Sorry this has been sitting in my asks too long but I hope this does it some justice. I want to mean everything to one Sydney Adamu.

There was a quiet little voice in the back of Sydney’s head that was trying to convince her to feel guilty. Trying to conjure up remorse.

Asking her “why the fuck did you do that?”

But she couldn’t find it in her to care, walking out of that restaurant had felt good. She felt free. She felt like the fucking man.

No ifs, not buts, and certainly- no regrets.

Well, ok, on a technicality-

You had looked up at her with those fucking eyes as she’d stormed out. You’d been the voice trying to reason with her. You’d been holding Carmy off with one hand and reaching for her with the other.

Sydney had to say, leaving you behind was one of the toughest things she’d ever had to do. And that was saying something, life hadn’t always been kind to our Syd.

But the decision was made, she’d walked out and it’d take a whole lot more than your beautiful, sad eyes to get her back any time soon.

The knock at her door might help.

Stood on the doorstep, hands folded into one another, those big eyes looked back up at her but they were less sad- more apologetic.

Not that you had anything to apologise for.

“Sydney, I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to apologise for.”

You didn’t let up, you didn’t fold and accept that. You sturdied your shoulders and doubled down. “Maybe so, but you have to hear it from someone.”

And that someone wouldn’t be Carmy and there was a whole new flash of anger rocketing its way up Sydney’s body.

Now was not the time to dwell on old wounds when you were on her doorstep and she hadn’t even thought to let you in. Stepping aside, you crossed the threshold and made an immediate break for the kitchen.

Maybe it was because you associated them with Syd, your subconscious assumed that’s where she’d like to go next. You’d been half correct, the oven was on and something was cooking away.

“Want to stay for a bite?” Sydney asked as she joined you.

You were already making yourself comfortable on her kitchen stool, like you knew the place. Like you belonged here.

Chatting about nothing was easy, few jokes here and there, you had Syd explain basic technique to you like to didn’t graduate from Kendall.

You just liked to hear her talk. You liked her passionate.

On the second spoonful, you decided you’d push your luck.

“I think you need to come back.”

Thankfully, her eyes were still warm when she caught yours. Silence passing between you both an omen of the unspoken.

The way she sighed your name twisted your stomach up in a couple different ways. You felt the need to dead at least one of them.

“I know he treated you like shit but Syd, it’s about the restaurant-“

“Not anymore,” She countered, hands bracing out on the bench in front of her. “It’s about me, it’s about the fact I don’t deserve that.”

“No you don’t, you don’t deserve to be spoken to like that but you do deserve to serve your food- show your talents.”

She laughed, a huffed laugh out her nose as she shook her head. Syd knew you well enough that you weren’t sent here by anyone but she also knew you so well that this wasn’t even you trying.

“Be serious with me,” That shut you up, her back straightening as she looked you head on. “Why are you here?”

Confusion lit up across your face like wildfire and you stuttered a little as you spoke. “What? The restaurant needs you-“

“No, there’s something else.”

Even though she had home court advantage, even though she had control of the conversation- Syd felt nerves dancing right up her arms and strangling her heart.

If she’d reached inside you she would’ve felt the exact same thing. She’d caught on to you way quicker than you’d expected. “Syd-“

She said your name, matter-of-fact. You knew you had one way out of this.

“I’m not going back to that restaurant unless you’re there.”

That silence strung itself back up in the kitchen, passing back and forth between the two of you no better than before.

You had to fill it.

“That restaurant needs you but, Jesus Christ, I need you.”

Her lips parted, not like she was going to speak but like she needed more air in her lungs than she was getting through her nose. Her chest was tightening at an alarming rate.

“I’m no good without you, I don’t want to be good without you.”

Sydney moved on her feet, slowly as she rounded the edge of the counter. Coming to rest in front of you, your knees knocked gently against the outside of her thighs.

This had been that unspoken word, the one that hung between the both of you since you’d met. The shy glances and stuttered “good nights” when neither of you really wanted to leave just yet.

This is what it really was.

It was loving the kitchen but not unless Sydney was leading it. It was a passion for food but only when you could taste her dishes. It was storming out when you’ve had enough but sparing a second glance to see if you’d follow.

And you had.

Her voice was on a whisper, watching your hands reach out for her own. “I don’t know if I can come back.”

You let out a long breath, head tilting forward until her forehead was pressed to yours. Your noses slotted together, lips barely apart.

“Then just come back to me.”

Syd couldn’t bear to look you in the eye, favouring closing them instead and reaching for your lips. The way her mouth held yours felt like coming home, felt like everything you’d thought of each night since your first meeting.

One hand still held hers as the other came to grasp her chin, pulling her closer and hearing her moan so gently against your mouth.

Sydney could barely think with the way you felt, the way you tasted, the way you sound. But there was one thought that was louder than the others.

You might be worth the stress.

[lindszeppelin]

https://www.instagram.com/p/C8uVjDEpG6K/?igsh=NWNhNXl0ZmppMjVi

Kaia is a brand ambassador for Omega and she’s been doing work with them. For some reason I can’t help but find this kind of ironic yet funny, because you’d think someone as big and important as Kaia Gerber would be doing stuff for brands like Bvlgari or Tiffany & Co. but she’s not. Heck even something like Gucci or Chanel, the “major brands”.

I know that Omega is also a big brand, but the way Kaia and her team try to play up her importance, as well as the way her family basically lives off of status, you’d expect her to be doing bigger things with bigger more well known household brands.

I also find it interesting that Cindy hasn’t really done anything of big importance in recent years, perhaps she’s pushing Kaia to do bigger and better things. Perhaps many of the things we see Kaia doing are ideas she got from Cindy. I doubt Kaia is tried of doing these things, but maybe she feels she has no other choice. It’s all she and her family seem to know.

That brings me to her acting career. The last “major” role she had was AHS and she bombed that horribly. Now every time we see her in a role it’s either so simple and minor, or she barely has lines. Yes everybody has to start somewhere, but the biggest thing about Kaia is she uses her connections to succeed. You’d think with all those connections she uses she’d be doing bigger roles with more line and screen time, look at Dakota Johnson, she’s not very good either but she stars in movie, but Kaia isn’t and probably won’t ever. That’s because even though these people are doing favors for her family, they know she’s a horrible actress so they give her these crumbs to appease her and in turn her parents. I think it’s the same with the fashion world. Her walk isn’t groundbreaking, her face never serves anything other than constipated, and she cannot pose for the life of her. We know she’s only a model because of her mom, but the fact that she hasn’t been given opportunities like Bella, Gigi, Kendall, or any other nepo baby model says that the people running the fashion world know this just like the people in acting world.

I saw someone say that people are going to tire of the brand she promotes with the random useless paps walks and calls for attention in anyway she can get it. Saying all that I’ve said above, I’m lead to believe that even the entertainment industry is tired of her. Why would they need one layered boring Kaia who is only worthy of attention when she’s being compared to her mom or dating someone who’s career is one fire? Especially when they already have 300 of those in stock, what Kaia is doing is literally what so many before her have done and still do. The Kardashians are a perfect example of this, but at least they give the public something to talk about and work with. Kaia literally gives us nothing, not even teasing crumbs, especially because she surrounds herself with people who don’t work that way. She’s constantly around people who are private as hell, and then she pretends to be the same while still calling any attention she can get to herself. It also doesn’t help that she doesn’t have a personality, like at all, and when she does it’s fake and never consistent. No one is going to want to work with something that changes every few business days because it’s not easy to market. Why work hard as fuck to market her when there are people easier to market?

She tries to play up her importance so much and yet every so often we’re shown she really doesn’t have much importance at all. Like the Met Gala this year, no one really gave a damn that she was there. She was a background thought to many. At the LA Bikeriders premiere she thought she was important enough to to be on carpet, hell she thought she was important enough to walk said carpet and she just isn’t. Same with Palm Royale, yes she got some attention, but not the amount that she’s lead many to believe she deserves. Same with the other movies she’s in. Unlike with Austin and many other popular actors like Zendaya or Timothee, when she’s cast in a movie her name doesn’t make headlines, she’s written in as a footnote. The attention to her roles is so small you’d forget she’s there until you see her.

I do think she’s starting to realize this and I also think that’s part of the reason her latest activity had made such a dramatic turn. Not only is she at the end of her “relationship” with Austin, everything she’s done during that time, and before, hasn’t worked for her. She’s got to realize she’s wasted all this time with this man, who she hasn’t been able to make love her. I believe she believed she would make him love her over time and that didn’t happen, I mean why else would her and her team keep pushing this “settle down” angle? She’s spent three years, and honestly longer because of her time with Pete and Jacob, being someone she isn’t to get something she’ll never get because she’s went about it the wrong way.

She could try and change, but after all this time is would simply expose how fake and unauthentic she is. She’s at a point where she’s pretty much stuck. And it must suck for her, to realize she’s not as important as she’s pretended and she’ll never be more than the daughter or girlfriend of. You can tell the mask she’s put up is slipping and the spoiled entitled brat she is coming out. If you compare how we see her now vs 2 years ago, even a year ago, she has more of an attitude. She seems less pleasant to be around, very bitchy. Her spoiled childlike nature is showing because everything she’s doing is akin to a kid throwing a tantrum after not getting their way. She’s acting out and I guarantee she’s taking it out on Austin, or at least trying to. His behavior at the premiere and after shows exactly that. I believe no more than ever he is over it all and is really done. I think the reason he’s waited so long is because now it’s easier for him to slip away because she is showing these colors. Even if everyone isn’t paying attention enough people are and they’re starting to call Kaia out, they aren’t letting her manipulate them any longer.

I know a lot of people feel helpless when it comes to this relationship, but believe it or not when we speak out about her and the relationship it helps Austin. In Hollywood image is everything and if Kaia’s image takes enough damage, Austin could get away completely unscathed. The Life&Style article said everything it said purposely. They could’ve leaned more into the “They have nothing in common” angle, but they brought her career up and they brought it up for a reason. Also they didn’t just say acting or modeling specifically, they just said career, which could mean Kaia takes nothing she does seriously. Which she’s proven many a time.

This is long sorry, but I’ve been thinking about this a lot.

SHEEEEEEESH ANON THIS WAS AMAZING. this deserves to be a #1 New York Times Best Seller. everyone...read this right now lol

all i really wanted to add was that Omega is getting blasted right now because they use alligator skin for their watch bands. and all the comments on kaia's branded post you just shared is NOTHING but spitting in Omega's face for promoting animal torture for their watches. and honestly? slay to the comments. kaia is so stupid for not doing her research (or not caring at all) to work with a brand that is so troubling that they aren't cruelty free. i think every brand is making an effort to be more animal friendly. so for her to work with this stupid watch brand and for her campaign with them to be filled to the brim with nothing but controversy is her karma.

[forlornkiller]

I think this ending was so good for this show because it keeps everybody in a state of motion. We’re able to almost picture or envision what the future is going to be like for them because some cycles are destined to repeat but each character has such different destinies you know? this show is so amazing every scene has so much to unpack…. im only gonna choose a couple moments but I hope they resonate

comparing Kendall and roman……. I think we all knew that roman was abused by Kendall growing up but in previous contexts, it seemed like he had changed…. at least yelling at Logan for his direct abuse but to see Kendall do that to Rome was fucking heartbreaking man . tears in my fucking eyes like he does not. deserve this. nobody fucking deserves this and fuck Logan Roy and every fucking abuser that willingly and even gleefully chooses fucking abuse. kendall seemed resigned to his fate to abuse his brother but it’s just not true man. maybe there was more sorrow than glee in his abuse but only maybe. and either way it’s not fucking right. The acceptance of their nothingness is different yet the same…… so many things are different but the same do u know what I mean ?

Kendall, with protection, but never able to do anything again is a fate i can accept for him. It was really interesting to see how their relationships with other people were again and may I just say. I think it’s quite incredibly clear what Kendall and Stewy had and currently flirt with…… i love that but I hate that for them. As delulu it might be for Stewy to think he can save Kendall, he totally thinks that and who knows . maybe some cool fuck shit happens and Kendall’s able to keep one relationship in his life he cares about. but I guess we won’t see .

Oof going back to Roman’s dig about Rava and her kids…….. i think his relationship with them is so fucked and there isn’t enough time for repentance. He spent so long holding onto a dream that was never real and not even worth having in the end, and knowing that so much of his life was around this one thing. seven years old to now….. maybe some intense psychotherapy and retrospection for years is what he needs. it’s probably the only thing he’s gonna get

,, and in this sense I almost wonder if Connor and Kendall are closer than ever as eldest boys. Connor was never offered the dream, and he never became anything. Kendall is what happens when you offer it and it disappears, making u realize it was never really there in the first place. Might’ve been something, but definitely isn’t now. I also think reducing Connor to nothing is not a fair characterization but he’s not really something either.

Shiv……… i wish there was a way free for her. I’m not the greatest at imagining shiv futures but I somehow see purgatory yet nothing at all. She got the deal, she didn’t get CEO and her reputation got a bit fucked but she’s still married to the CEO. whose baby she’s pregnant with. And who she doesn’t like, i don’t think. Because hurting her has been the way she understands love, i think she’s more into Tom than ever and i think she needs him. He holds a lot of power but in the end he offers love one way, she doesn’t respond that way and they stay together but apart. I can’t tell anymore if it’s real or fake. I think Shiv believes what she said, that once you say all the worst shit to each other you can still be together but part of that is WANTING to be together. If you say all the worst shit and at the end don’t know if you want to come back, then I think you shouldn’t get back together. They just keep making bad decisions. Sometimes relationships are best when both people realize how close they are is not how close they actually want to be or should be. Tom offering his hand in the car…….. she called him a phony and I think I agree. There might’ve been love there.. an opportunity to win love but Shiv doesn’t fight for those things, she takes them as givens. A lot of the tragedy in succession is about timing. Bad things happening right when things were getting good, maybe. The consequences of their actions meet later actions and become perfectly destructive. Okay i got distracted back to shiv and Tom i can’t tell who is trapping who with this baby. I am incredibly sad for this future child and wish that Tom got out now, fuck waystar royco and take his piece of shit and go!!!! but they’re in too deep now.

Switching to tomgreg 🤩 sucking the dick of white supremacy, but maybe making changes internally about how things are done. Tom is better than Logan on most levels I think, and great at his fucking job. Will he be able to counter Logan’s legacy with his own consider his part in advancing Logan’s? Wash his hands free from sins?? i don’t really think so but I think he might want to…….. i always have hope like a dumbass hehe but yea I have been wanting Tom and Gerri team up since the beginning on season 4 and while it’s sad to not see that in action, im glad it’s a definite future. I think she’ll see that Tom can actually be competent. Okay sandwiching Tom and Gerri with Tom and Greg, that sticker shit was fucking cute and I totally thought they were gonna kiss before that. Their fight was so fucking funny LOL i did genuinely enjoy watching that. Fed my tomgreg soul for sure 😌

In regards to mattson (and then I’m going back to Gerri and then I’m gonna SLEEP!!) i think what he wanted with his numbers happened, them getting lost in the deal dazzle? It went through and now everybody’s fucking rich. The thing is idk all the legal business stuff so is this gonna fuck everybody over in a couple weeks to months? No clue but for now Mattson’s kinda on top of the world. I really don’t like him tho hehe i hope he gets smashed to death by a pile of his own blood bricks. I wonder if Tom will actually be his front man, or try to kill him at some point too? The urge to serve is so strong in him…… but do I firmly believe that with a healthy kinky relationship with somebody PERHAPS GREG. he would be able to fulfill that and also rule the world? Absolutely man it’s just abt balance 😌 my belief that the acceptance of bdsm would fix so many things in our society & in succession is unshakable okay don’t question me. ANYWAYS

Gerri….. a queen as always. Roman pining from afar is so sad so tragic reminding himself of her with every drink he drinks and thought he thinks. One of THE biggest regrets and him saying that he’s nothing, that all the sibs are nothing? I think in this moment it’s true. I can feel how that is truth for him. With Gerri’s brief flashes of emotion during the funeral ….. i have hope. Succession aside, i really believe have faith in love and its power to save lives & transcend death. I think what they had bw them was real, and with the scripts as well I don’t think that connection was faked. What makes my heart hurt is that in the past it seemed like Gerri was the only one in the room who cared if he was hurt. She can’t necessarily protect him but she sees him. He doesn’t have that, the three sibs don’t have anybody that really loves & knows them enough to be able to deal with this trauma but I don’t think hope is totally gone. I’m an optimist in the end

God this is fucking long I’m a wordy person but overall? GOD i love this show!!! I really think they ended it at a great spot in this way where things keep going. Nobody’s story ever really ends, it feels like it does and to the person living their story it might but being able to watch their lives? You realize that it doesn’t end. I think Jesse’s commentary on the fear behind ending Succession here is super valid though, because there is a message here that is ultimately anti capitalist. If we were able to really see, at length the way we’ve seen the first cycles, how their cycles continue I think it would really wake a lot of people up to how things operate in this society. The longer this nation goes on, the longer the abuse this nation was founded from goes on. I’m going to end here but wow this show has given me so much to think about when it comes to love, abuse, capitalism, society & American culture as a whole like goddamn. What a show man what a show

[comicaurora]

This is probably a weird question, but what are some tips you could give on character design? I've been trying to feel confident with my own designs, but they feel kind of bland... what kinds of things would you suggest to help make designs stand out more?

Hoo boy. Hm. I feel like I am not the right person to ask about this because objectively I do almost nothing you're "supposed" to, but if it's working I guess that means I might be onto something?

A lot of my design considerations are practical. I don't want to give anybody a design that's going to be a nightmare to draw over and over again. I've done enough commissions in my time to know when somebody is overdesigned and therefore hugely annoying to draw, and that's a no-no. So I tend to stick with simple patterns at most, not too many layers, no need for five million belts, no need for incredibly intricate hairstyles, etc. This is a practical consideration for the medium of comic art, but other mediums have different considerations - 3D-modeled art, for instance, can overdesign the characters as much as they want because they only need to model them once, and a lot of visual novel characters are limited to a very small handful of poses and some interchangeable expressions, meaning it isn't prohibitively complicated to make them a little Extra. The most time-consuming and frustrating commissions I've ever done were for characters who were frankly never designed to be drawn more than once. A quick sampling of highlights for the design features I swore to myself I would never deal with again-

So on a basic level, if you're designing a character to draw over and over again, it needs to be something you're willing and able to draw over again. Intricate patterns, a lot of interlocking plates, anything with lace - those are all things I try to avoid.

I've often seen the advice that character silhouettes should be super visually distinct, that characters should be very strongly shaped like different things. I think that's great if your style is that flexible, but if you kind of want everybody to be shaped like a human being with a skeleton, this advice is not very useful.

I think a diversity of body shapes is great, but the style I favor requires the anatomy to at least sort of makes sense, which means while there can still be a lot of variation in the distribution of muscle and fat, everyone's bones are gonna be in roughly the same place. I can't just draw a square and fill it with a dude. So instead I try and distinguish my character silhouettes in other ways.

Everyone's hair is different, and because most characters have big hair, this plays a large part in their silhouette. Falst and Erin both have short hair, but Falst's is a bristling mane while Erin's is usually more swept and soft-looking. Dainix and Kendal both have long hair, but even when Dainix's hair is loose it doesn't hang or flow the same way Kendal's does - it gets in the way, drapes in front of his face and overall doesn't move the same. Alinua's hair is bouncy curls. On top of that, everyone's outfits are fairly simple, but no two of them are exactly the same - Erin has a monopoly on poofy sleeves, Kendal has cuffed boots and the back-slung sword, Dainix has the poncho and the poofier pants, Alinua has the v-neck top with slightly pauldron-y shoulders and the slippers, Falst's clothing is ragged at the edges, etc. Even without getting into their distinct color palettes, everyone's at least a little bit distinct.

And this is another place where I purposefully try to avoid overdesigning. If everyone has too much going on it can circle around to being hard to tell the characters apart, because too much is happening. Who can pay attention to the fact that one character is sleeveless and one has asymmetrical boots and one has a mullet when everybody is wearing eight layers of embroidered fabric with four belts and half a breastplate on top?

Avoiding same-face is hard, and I'm not very good at it. But I do try to make sure everyone's face shape, nose and eyes are at least slightly different from everyone else's. It might not show from a distance and it might not be as extreme as a pixar design sheet, but it's something.

Ultimately the main consideration I keep in mind when designing characters is - perhaps a bit redundantly - their character. Who they are as people, and how that will impact the way they look. Everybody stands differently, and shifts their weight differently when a situation is changing.

Despite both being short, lightweight guys with short hair, Falst and Erin are wildly different people and are not going to dress the same, make the same facial expressions or hold themselves the same way. Despite both being tall, long-haired, generally friendly warrior badasses, Kendal and Dainix carry themselves very differently and react to things in very distinct ways. Tess and Erin have the exact same haircut and nobody noticed for ages because of everything else.

The designs aren't complicated, and compared to some, they aren't even that distinct. But I try to make sure that their personality is visible in every aspect of their design. Every "why?" in their design has an in-character answer, and since they're all quite different on the inside, keeping things simple means that starts showing through on the outside.

This is also how I can visually distinguish between Vash and Kendal, who have the exact same body and clothes.

we can never underestimate the importance of ✨body language✨

[hughiecampbelle]

Succession Preference: Having a S/O With a Kid

A/N: I made the kids all different ages, from infancy to teenage, just to make it a little more interesting! I hope you like it, my love! Thank you for requesting! Feedback is appreciated!!! 💜💜💜

Connor is delighted to know that you have a child. He practically raised his siblings, being their big brother is the most important job of his life. He takes care of people. He doesn't know that much about babies, but he's an eager learner. He never wants another child in the world to feel like he has ever felt, to he loved so little for doing nothing wrong, for being born. He may or may not baby proof the entire house despite the fact that all your baby can do is maybe roll on their back they're so young. Despite him being a Roy, you're not afraid to leave them with him. He loves their little baby noises, especially their laugh. He can't get enough of their overjoyed squeal. You find Connor on the couch, warning you to be quiet. The baby's been asleep on him for hours, and he'd rather let his whole body go numb than dare wake them. He loves them like he loves you.

Kendall had two kids of his own, though you've seen from experience that he's not the most hands on father. Still, he tries to make an effort with yours, like he does his. He plays with them and their toys, whatever they're obsessed with at the moment: dinosaurs, cars, dolls, art, etc. You love to watch them bond, even if he's overthinking everything completely, like he did with his own. Kendall is so sure he's doing something wrong, that he'll ruin them the same way his father ruined him. You have to remind him a lot that he'd nothing like his father, that your child adores him. They call him Kenny and always draw pictures of him on the moon, with dinosaurs, even once as a princess. He doesn't admit it, but he's got every single one hanging on his fridge, next to his own kids old artwork. You both come with your kids, no exceptions. You wouldn't be you without them, too.

Shiv only ever dealt with teenagers when she was a teen herself and those brats were her brothers. Despite the mask she wears of cool confidence, she is actually very worried about making a good first impression on them. She loves you so much, like she's never loved anyone. She knew you had a kid going into it, but she never expected it to be serious enough for her to meet them. She changes her outfit four times. In the end, they think she's okay. That's about the best reaction either of you were hoping for. They're going through a bit of a phase atm, but they secretly think she's cool. She makes a lot of jokes to get them to laugh and enjoy her sarcasm. You tell her time and time again that they really do like her company, they're just a teenager. They're not known for showing too much interest in anything that isn't their friends and phones.

Roman has no idea what to do with your toddler. He doesn't understand why you cut up their grapes or why they enjoy stupid tv shows or why they can only wear one sock at a time, but he makes an effort in his own way. He watches those shows with them and plays with them, mostly questioning the practicality of their toy phone, and reads to them before bed/a nap. He really does like you, a lot. Anyone attached to you, he cares about, even if it's a tiny human who coughs in his face and licks his watch. They're growing on him, but they love him. Where's Ro-Ro? They ask constantly. He hates to see them cry, it breaks his heart, and will jokingly call you a monster for saying no them, even if it's for their own safety like putting their toy in the microwave or jumping on their bed. He definitely wants to spoil the hell out of them, just to hear them squeal in delight.

[stewykablooey]

what do you think stewy's reaction was when kendall went to rehab? I definitely don't think it was kendall voluntarily going, but I also don't think stewy would've went to any intervention for kendall, even if he does recognize kendall actually has problems with drugs 🤔

hmmmmmmmm i actually Do think kendall went voluntarily, mostly because i genuinely can’t imagine anyone in his life who would care enough to force him to go (or have the emotional capacity to show that they care because i Do think the sibs cared/were concerned about his substance abuse but they definitely wouldnt intervene) except maybe rava, but a) i dont think kendall would listen to her and b) if she did it was part of an ultimatum that eventually pushed kendall to check himself in. unless you’re thinking about like, a court-mandated order but idk about the logistics of that, but then yeah, i do think that could be a way that kendall ended up in rehab. (i could also see connor trying to talk to kendall about going but kendall wouldn’t listen to him either and connor wouldn’t push) but Also, i think kendall really would go voluntarily as some kind of attempt to better himself, but not really in a healthy way, more in an all-or-nothing side quest before he got himself caught into logans orbit again, or in some complete toxic mind-shift of like ‘drugs are for the weak my body is a temple’ type bullshit.

anyway back to stewy: Yes, u are so right that he would not intervene, just like the sibs he obviously cares but he would never take it upon himself to get kendall to seek help because he feels that a) thats not his responsibility and b) its not his business. as close as they are and as intertwined as their lives and business becomes, i think stewy very much draws a boundary between him and kendall that they each are granted autonomy as an adult. whatever kendall does is his business and whatever stewy does is stewys business and they can meet in the middle wherever those things might cross, or just enjoy their friendship outside whatever those things may be. and this is for specific things, like rehab or kendalls marriage, which is also something im sure stewy wouldnt touch with a 100 foot pole. obviously the bigger picture stuff, stewy Does get himself involved in, like kendalls vendatta against logan, or trying to get kendall out of the company. but i think in a way stewy sees that big picture as much more viable, if he can fix the root of this, then all the things about kendall that he cant and wont touch will be better for it by proxy. if kendall could just be a normal billionaire without the roy family sickness then he could be normal about drugs, like stewy is.

so to finally answer your question lol: i think ultimately stewy saw as that, none of his business but also thought of it as pointless. i dont think he saw it as a bad thing and i think maybe he did hope something good would come out of it for kendall, but i think stewy never saw kendalls drug problem as a drug problem, i think he saw it as a logan problem, as a Roy problem, so he wouldn’t have had high hopes for this making any significant impact on kendall.

bonus: idk if anyone has even said this but i wanna get in front of it before anyone does, theres also no Goddamn Way that kendall going to rehab or kendall overdosing or kendalls substance abuse would e v e r make stewy think twice about his own drug use. i think stewy fully believes he is the smartest most perfect most balanced drug user in all of new york city and that whatever kendalls relationship to drugs is, no matter how sad or scary, doesn’t apply to him because he has the most perfect relationship to drugs ever (whether that is true or not)

[crobones]

listen listen listen. I stand by that, even though he is the least connected to reality, Connor is the most aligned with humanity in the regards of personal relationships. He knows what he's doing to Willa, he gives her an out, and doesn't begrudge her for staying for the money or even knowing there's a possibility of her divorcing him in the future. The kids treat him like shit because it's what Logan did and what Dad does the children will follow.

And even after all of this, when it comes to the final season, Connor is the one who gives their father a chance - not to redeem himself, but to appreciate the relationships he has. Because Logan knew he was dying. Speech aside, as he may not have figured he wasn't even going to make it to Sweden, he was rushing the deal because he wanted the business to at least survive him long enough that the kids could make their own choices. Logan didn't choose because he couldn't choose, because when it comes to personal things, he's indecisive. Money is nothing to him, but because he could never decide and commit to any tangible relationships with anyone who knew him, they faded.

in the end, Logan was a dying man trying to rebuild the relationships he had lost, but he had wronged his children so many times that they couldn't forgive him because it didn't match up with their reality. to them, love was leverage, and they were tired of being used.

But Connor was never in tune with reality to begin with. And he didn't think of love as leverage because he'd never received any his entire life. You can't be manipulated by possibly losing something you've never had in the first place. And as fucked up as it is, Connor wasn't afraid to lose the love Logan was offering on his proverbial deathbed because he already knew life without it.

When Logan apologizes, it's not to each of them individually behind closed doors. It's to all four of them. But because he has lied so many times in private, and they all are selfish enough to want their dad's attention when he's treating them equally for the first time in their lives, they turn him away. It's not surprising or unearned. Logan is a liar, so all they can ever truly expect from him is lies.

What they don't understand is that forgiveness is hardly ever for the person being forgiven. Forgiveness, in this context, was an option so that they could all get closure from how they were wronged. So they could move on from every way they were manipulated and abused, acknowledge that those things are in the past, and move forward with their lives. As opposed to obsessing over the past. The past isn't real, the future is everything.

But while the kids were being childish and refusing to forgive Logan, Connor forgives him. He says it in his speech. The kids are still demanding love in ways they see fit because that is what they feel they are owed instead of accepting the broken and dying love they are offered. They don't get closure because they refuse it and then Logan dies and so they think they will never get it. They see everything as a transaction. Forgiving Logan was never about actually giving him anything, and they couldn't understand that because it didn't align with what they believed to be reality.

Roman wanted to forgive Logan, but if we've learned anything, it is that Roman does not believe he deserves good things. He doesn't believe he deserves closure because of how much his father broke him.

Kendall wanted love in the form of power over Logan because that's all he thinks love is. He was seven and he was offered power, and every day was a fight to make his father keep his promise because he was never taught trust.

Shiv wanted love in an elaborate display of humbling himself because even her own morals are performative. As a woman in politics and business, she had to perform every day of her life because her father didn't see her as a person.

Connor was the only one to forgive him in the end because Logan was never his father in the first place. Not really. It's easier to forgive a stranger than to forgive someone close to you because, with a stranger, you have nothing to lose and nothing to expect.

Logan was never his father, he was always just a man. The kids saw their father as a god because that's how kids see their parents - infallible and terrifying. Connor didn't see his father begging for love, he saw a dying man reaching out for the first time in his life because he was afraid, and gods don't know fear.

Connor knew about the mausoleum because he knew Logan was dying. He is old, as are Gerri, and Frank, and Karl, and Hugo. These people know that they are mortal and death is around the corner. Old bodies that experience a stroke aren't expected to live much longer. Connor was at that meal with Logan and the others because an invisible cat let them all know that Logan's time-frame has been cut shorter than expected.

Kendall and Siobhan and Roman saw their father as a god who would never die because that's how kids see their parents. Connor and everyone else saw Logan as a man because he was never their father.

And Connor forgives Kendall and Siobhan and Roman so easily because they were never his siblings to begin with. They were always just kids.

[myloveforhergoeson]

12, 15, and 18 for the ask game 🌸

hi friend! coming right up hehe <3

who is most likely to...

12. to sing when they think they're alone

roxy! though she doesn't have a very good singing voice in tasw, she does love to test out her new melodies and lyrics on her own before sharing them with the guys. that, and she loves music in general too! part of the fun is getting to sing along! kendall actually catches her doing this at one point in tasw:

Though piano could be a bit exhausting from time to time, she began to play out the melody she had in her head, doing her best to sing the lines she had written along with the tune to make sure nothing was out of place.

As she warbled, very much off-key, she could also hear the guitar piece she had written playing along with the piano notes she was forcing out of the instrument. That, paired with the beautiful harmony she knew the boys would have no trouble pulling off could make this an easy Big Time Rush hit.

If I ever give it to Big Time Rush… Maybe there are some things I should keep for myself, She thought until she finished up the song and heard the sound of slow clapping coming from the doorway behind her.

With a small yelp, she turned around to find Kendall making his way across the room toward her, still clapping until he drew near enough to say, “God, Roxy! That was incredible!”

Embarrassed mostly, she opened and closed her mouth a few times before she was able to spit out, “I thought everyone went home.”

“Everyone else took Logan home, so I figured we could walk back together, but when I went to the tech room to find you, you weren’t in there. Turns out you were hiding in Studio B with a beautiful song this whole time.”

“It’s… whatever.” She deflected, trying to turn the conversation back on him, “Shouldn’t you be busy making up with Jo? I had a hell of a time with her last night…”

Sitting down on the piano bench next to her, he sighed, “She had to work late tonight, so we set a date for tomorrow. Now play the song again!”

“Maybe when it’s finished-”

“Again, again!”

“Say it one more time and I’m going to force you into the booth to record ‘Til I Forget About You!’”

Threat making the blond hold his hands up in defeat, she finally got Kendall to back off. “...I just thought I should tell you I liked it.”

15. to start blushing

this one also goes to roxy, mostly because her boyfriend loves to flirt and get her flustered :3

second, i believe, is kendall once daisy finally gets a clue and realizes she's into him. she's very direct in her speech and doesn't leave much room for interpretation :) since she's super shy, she's not able to always say exactly what she wants, so when she does, it always get him hehe

18. to say i love you first...

ooh... are you sure we want spoilers... ha! just kidding. as if. sydnee and dani have been together the longest, so, who said it first? out of all of my ocs? dani :)

[beebeetheclown]

Can I request one? <3

I'm imagining kendall and Rava (or any female charcter/reader), without kids, at the very end of their divorce process, reconciling a bit? Just something flourishing?

Might sound a bit more emotional than smut maybe but do whatever you want with it <3

Hi anon😊 this took me longer to write than I hoped for but it’s finally done!! I really liked this idea as it is not the type of thing I usually write. I like to change things up.

Thank you for requesting this! The start is not really my favorite but I promise it gets more interesting as it goes on! Also it is quite short, shorter than how long I usually make them but maybe not everything has to be so long haha. I hope you enjoy!

Kendall Roy x Rava - Request

Angsty one shot

Word Count: 1.9k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🍊~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kendall and Rava stand in the penthouse they lived in together for the past year and a half. When they first stood together in the penthouse, nothing but joy and excitement was written all over their faces. They were both so excited to start a new life together as Kendall had just married her. They have been dating ever since he first met her in college.

The longer Kendall would work at Waystar, the harder it would get for Rava. As they both stand in the big living room, it is nothing like how it was the first time they stood in the room. Rava is holding the divorce papers in her hand and Kendall is just a few feet away from her looking at his shoes.

They both had already done everything at the court to break apart from one another. Rava had only come back to the penthouse with him to take all of her stuff. Once practically all of her stuff was packed away in the back of her car, the two stood silently in the living room, not really sure what to do next. Kendall can’t just let her leave just like that, he needed more answers. He had gotten many answers from her ever since the whole idea of divorce started, but he needed more,

“Does it mean nothing to you anymore?” Kendall asks.

“Does what mean nothing?”

“All those times in college, don’t you remember how much fun we had?”

“Kendall, that is in the past. We aren’t young anymore. You have changed Kendall, it’s not the same as how it used to be.”

“Well I’m sorry I can’t be that young college boy anymore. I’m taking my job seriously now, I’m a hard worker, is that not what you wanted? I still don’t understand.”

“The thing about you Kendall is that you don’t know the difference between a hard worker and an obsessive worker. You are obsessive Ken. It’s not good for you and it’s not good for me, it’s not good for the both of us.”

“No- no, you’re wrong. I’m not obsessive, I’m a hard worker, I am. I stay focused on what is right. I am a hard working, successful man, how do you not see that? Work is stressful, okay? Sorry I couldn’t be so full of joy all the fucking time.

“Even when work is stressful, you didn’t even tell me about it or let me help you. You go and get drunk and don’t even talk about it with me. I’ve told you this a thousand times now.”

“Come on, I didn’t even drink that much, you are overreacting here.”

“No, I’m not Kendall. I am done with you,” Rava holds up the divorce papers, “It says so here. We will never be together again, we will never love again. I don’t think I can ever love you again.” Her last words hurt both herself and Kendall. The room went quiet for a moment, the silence was filled with anger, regret, and sadness.

Kendall spoke up very quietly, his gaze was down at the floor, “You love me Rava.”

“Ken-”

“Paper proof or not, I know you still love me, you can’t just throw it all away like that Rava.”

Rava’s voice is quiet now too, she doesn’t want to believe him, but it’s hard not to, “Maybe I love you, but I can’t love you. I can’t love you anymore Kendall. You’ve hurt me enough.”

“You can’t but you want to.”

Rava feels teary now, she keeps her voice quiet, “Kendall, stop.”

“You love me Rava.” She begins to cry softly now, “Please don’t cry.”

“I think I need to leave now.” She replies as she wipes her tear away.

It gets quiet for a moment, Kendall doesn’t know what to say right away but then he speaks up, “Before you leave and this turns into something else, can I at least kiss you once more?”

“That’s not a good idea Ken. Really, I need to leave.”

“Just one kiss. Please.”

When Rava doesn’t answer, he walks over to her and cups her cheek so she looks at him. He looks at her for a moment then leans in to give her a kiss. She hardly kisses him back at first, but after having his lips on her own for a few more seconds, she can’t hold back and kiss him back with the same passion she did when they had their first kiss back in college.

He now puts both hands on the sides of her face and kisses her more deeply. He only really wanted to give her a small peck, but he couldn’t seem to pull away, he didn’t want to. He only pulls away to talk again. He rests his forehead on hers as he speaks, “Before you walk out, before we break apart, just let me love you once more, just a while longer.”

They both knew that it wasn’t good to love each other, but that didn’t mean that the feeling of love for each other was completely gone. Knowing that there was still a small spark that survived through everything only made things worse, it only made things harder. The spark made it hard for them to let go.

“Ken,” She whispers softly, but she can’t finish what she wants to say because Kendall begs to have her love for just a second longer,

“Please, please Rava.” With his soft, saddened pleads, she kisses him again. The two continue to have their feet planted still into the ground as they kiss, but he soon begins to move her over to the large couch that was just a few feet away from them.

She sits down and Kendall leans down to continue to kiss her pink lips. She still has the papers in her hands but they soon drop to the floor as they fall out of her grip. When the papers hit the floor, Kendall pulls away. He looks down at her then lets his hands slowly untuck her blouse out of her jeans, wanting to pull it over her head.

She watches his hands for a moment before looking back up at his face, “We can’t.” Her voice is still very quiet, it’s close to breaking and cracking as she still feels so doleful.

“Just let me love you once more, once more and then you can walk out that door.”

“What if I regret letting you do this?”

“You won’t regret, I can make you feel good.”

“No, that’s exactly what I’m worried about.”

“Why?”

“Because it’ll only make it harder for me to go.”

“Then don’t go, not yet.” He kisses her again and leans his weight onto her a little so she lies down on the couch. He’s on top of her now and kissing her so gently. He soon stands again then begins to unbutton her jeans. Rava just closes her eyes and her breath is heavy, she wants him just as bad as he wants her, but she is holding back her tears. She lifts her hips for him and he very slowly pulls down both her jeans and panties. He soon drops them to the floor and leans in to kiss her again.

He wants to take her shirt off but he doesn’t want to make her sit up again, he just wants her to lie back and relax and enjoy the moment. He now begins to take his own bottoms off and as he does so, he asks her, “Will you let me love you just one more time?”

Rava knows how bad of an idea it is, but she can’t help but comply and give in, “Yes, Kendall.”

“I want to make you feel good again,” he replies. His bottoms are off now, “Let me make you feel good again.”

“Kiss me Kendall.”

He leans in again and is on top of her again. He gives her a long and deep kiss before pulling his lips away. His hot breath is on her lips and his forehead is touching hers as he ever so slowly grinds his hips forward, making love to her before she can walk out the door forever. She moans quietly and he does the same shortly after her. Him being inside her again just felt so good for the both of them, there was no denying it. The last time they had sex was so long ago, she missed his touch and he missed her beautiful sounds.

He continues to make love to her, setting a slow rhythm. He is in no rush, he wants to make it last as long as he possibly can. He brings his lips down to kiss her neck and shoulder. Rava puts a hand on the back of his head and lets her other arm wrap around his back and sets her hand on his shoulder. She holds him close to her as they make love.

“Rava,” he whispers in her ear, “I love you.”

“Ken,” her eyes shut now, “don’t.”

He hums into her neck, “But I do. I love you so much. You are so beautiful.”

His slow thrusts never change, he doesn’t bother to move faster, he just continues to love her gently. He was usually always so fast when it came to sex, but this time, he takes his sweet time with her. The feeling of her around him again makes him moan quietly into her skin.

Rava can’t tell him that she loves him back, but she continues to let him love her with his body. She can’t get enough of him at the moment. His name comes out of her quivering lips, sounding like a pleasured whimper, “Kendall.”

“I’m right here.” He replies in her ear, “I’m right here for you.”

She ends up crying a little as she cums. She cries from both pleasure and pain. She cries from the loving pleasure he is giving to her. She cries knowing that she won’t ever be able to love him back. She knows that Kendall will always be the same, he is too damaged to be fixed.

He follows soon after her, finishing inside her. His moans are quiet and weak. He too almost feels as if he could cry. He pulls out of her carefully and soon pulls his dress pants back up. Rava just lies still as he dresses himself again. Her heavy breathing along with her sad sniffles is heard. Kendall takes her hands and helps her sit up and sits down next to her. He brings his thumb to wipe away her tears.

A pained smile appears on his face, “Still loving you means that I can’t hurt you.” He says, “So if leaving my ring on your finger and making you stay with me hurts you, I must let you go.”

She gives him the same pained smile back, “Just because I leave doesn’t mean I want to see you fail. I want you to grow from this.” She takes his hand in hers, “Please Kendall, just promise me you won’t let him ruin you anymore.”

She didn’t say his name but he knew that the certain ‘him’ was his father, “I won’t let him, I promise.”

Rava wants to believe him so badly, but deep down she feels if his answer sadly cannot be true. She kisses his forehead before she dresses herself again. He watches her the whole time, getting one more look at her before she can leave. Her eyes fall down to the divorce papers that are on the floor and she kneels down to pick them up.

They look at each other once more, Kendall now has big, teary eyes, “Goodbye Rava.”

Her reply is so quiet, it’s almost hard to hear, “Goodbye Kendall.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🍊~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Notes:

I kind of made myself sad for them haha.

More Kendall requests will be published soon👀 stay tuned!

[crazyk-imagine]

Chapter IV: WayneWayne plus Lame Lame equals Barf Barf

Characters: Sulane Celeste (OC), Jasner Verbane, Carlos Garcia, Hortense “Logan” Mitchell, Kendall Knight, James Diamond, Kelly Wainwright, Gustavo Rocque, Katie Knight, Jennifer “Mama” Knight, Camille Roberts, the Jennifer’s, Griffin, Wally Dooley aka WayneWayne, Tony (Sound booth guy)

Warnings: Bad boys, slight angst (for Sulane), making bets, mentions of death, emotional times, using candy as a weapon, rekindling friendships, Mama Knight losing her mind with the “ax murderer” thing

Word Count: 8,865

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The boys knock on Sulane’s door, they see her light is on through the crack underneath the door, but she doesn’t answer. They’re all confused, wondering what happened. The boys felt they were making progress with her, maybe enough to the point where it wouldn’t be too rude if they asked what happened and why she’s so bitter towards them. 

The four exit the elevator and find the one person their age (who’d most likely be more willing to talk) and knows more about the “new” Sulane. 

“Hey!” Kendall calls out to Jasner, who then ignores him because none of the boys ever acknowledge him or ask for his help. “You with the weird name. Jason something?” 

He stops and pops a raspberry into his mouth. He takes his time responding and reaches for another, tossing it up in the air before catching it while the boys wait for him to answer them anxiously. “It’s Jasner,” the teen corrects them. 

“Yeah, exactly.” Carlos pops out from behind the blond. “Do you- do you know what’s going on with?” He points upstairs and the raspberry lover instantly knows what Carlos is talking about. 

“Oh,” he scratches the back of his neck. This is not what he was expecting. “I don’t know if I should tell you.” “

Why?” asks James. 

“Is it-” Logan leans in closer towards the actor, “is it bad?” 

Jasner shakes his head. “She- you know, it’s- it’s complicated actually.” 

“Or will it be… until you explain it to us?” Carlos does his puppy dog eye routine. 

Jasner shakes his head, “I really shouldn’t.” He sighs after looking at all four of their faces. “Fine, fine. This- this is right around the time when her mom died.” 

Their eyebrows shoot up, eyes wide. None of them can find the right words to respond. 

“Should we… do something?” Logan asks. 

The raspberry lover shakes his head, “she won’t like that you guys know, and she really doesn’t like when people try to help her especially when it comes to this. Kelly was lucky to become her foster/ adopted mom. It’s always a little fuzzy on that part for me.” 

“Okay,” Kendall nods. 

“Okay?” Jasner repeats, munching on another raspberry. 

“Yeah, okay. We got this. Nothing’s gonna happen.” 

“I feel like I shouldn’t have told you.” 

The boys shrug. 

“Probably not but what can you do now,” says James. 

“I can hide.” 

“Where? Everyone knows where you hide?” asks Logan. 

The teen with the strange name pouts. “I’ll come up with something. Oh, I’ve gotta go. I forgot to do the first draft for the history paper and its due in less than four hours. Later guys.” He twists the lid on his fruit container and jogs toward the elevator. 

The smile falls from Carlos’ face when he realizes what the actor’s doing. “We had a history paper?” 

“Did we?” asks Kendall. 

“Yes!” Logan tells the three, voice high and strained. “I’ve been telling you about it since we got it. Why do you think I’ve been standing like a statue for at least five minutes every day?” 

“I thought you were trying to get over you’re peeing in public thing,” the corndog lover informs him. 

The brainiac scoffs, “I don’t have par- paruresi.” 

The three-stay quiet, Kendall feels like the word means exactly as Carlos said but he doesn’t want to say it out loud in case he’s wrong. 

Carlos was never good with big words (or what he thinks are big words) and now he wants corndogs. 

James doesn’t care all that much about learning right now and he’s thinking about how he can help make Sulane feel better now that they know the truth. 

Logan sighs and turns around, mumbling to himself, “I gotta get new friends.” 

“Where are you going?” asks Carlos, once he stops thinking about food and realizes that they’re leaving the lobby. 

The boys walk out towards the pool area to try and relax for a minute before they have to head to the recording studio. 

“Idea?” Logan announces, sitting up with his index finger up at the sky, although he’s unsure if he has actually had a plan. 

“What is it?” asks James. 

“I- you know we could- no, that’s illegal. Or we could- nope even worse.” 

“Do you have anything that could possibly become a plan?” Kendall chimes in, wanting the brainiac to stop mumbling unhelpful things. 

“Uh- you know what, no.” He shakes his head with his lips tugged to the side. “I don’t.” 

“Great, we’re screwed,” James whines. 

The boys flop back against the pool chairs, waiting till it’s time to sing.

 S01 EP04

Sulane sits on the couch, working on her essay that’s due in a week. Her mind not entirely focused on her job, but Gustavo should consider himself lucky that she’s even here. 

Kendall finishes the song, and she looks up to see Carlos fall as her boss chucks his headphones off and tosses them off to the side. 

‘Oh, no. Please don’t scream. Please don’t scream.’ 

The loud man walks into the studio, standing in front of the boys. 

“Gustavo, this song is great,” Kendall starts. 

“Um, of course it’s great. I wrote it.” 

She scoffs. 

He points to the blonde, standing beside Kelly (who’s closest to the leader of the band), “you stay out of this! You’re lucky I acknowledged your assistance.” The producer refocuses on the boys. “But the band isn’t great. What’s missing is the secret rock and roll ingredient.” 

She closes her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose, “no.” 

“Hair mouse,” James starts. 

“Chocolate mousse,” Carlos adds, excitement evident in his tone. 

“Spandex? Please don’t say spandex,” Logan begs. He looks over at Sulane who squints her eyes with furrows brows, clearly confused and weirded out by his answer. 

“Please tell me it’s not a-” 

Gustavo turns, wrapping his arm around Logan. “The bad boy.” 

“And my worst fears have come to life.” 

Kelly nudges Sulane with her elbow. 

“The ill-tempered rebel with a flair for synchronized dance. One of you has to be it. I say it’s Kendall.” 

The teen throws her head back and cackles. “Oh my god,” she wipes away a fake tear. “This is great.”

~ Ah, ah, oh ooh ~

“I’d prefer if Sullie did it,” the leader tells him. 

“We all would prefer if it was her. She’s better at listening than you dogs but,” he raises a finger. “This is a boy hand.” 

“I could play guitar… wait- why am I defending this dumb idea. I don’t want to be in the band.” 

“Please,” Kendall begs. 

“No.” 

“She has her own contract, and I don’t want Griffin to come in and mess it up. We’re finally making good progress,” Gustavo explains to the four. 

“Okay fine… why do we need a bad boy?” 

The loud man screams, and Kelly turns on her tablet, showing the teens the picture of Griffin along with the voicemail. 

“He’s driving me crazy! But he’s also right, because the bad boy is a rock and roll tradition.” 

“More like lame and stupid.” 

“Quiet!” The producer shouts at her. 

“Maybe I don’t want to-” 

-

Kelly pulls her off to the side before anything could get worse. 

Gustavo would crumble against her. 

“I know today is hard for you especially with the boys coming back into your life but that does not mean you can disrespect Gustavo or take your frustrations out on any of them. You have two choices, the first one means you have to be civil and nice to those around you.” 

“Or?” 

“I lied, you only have the one option and if you don’t try to be nice, I will send you to your room.” 

She huffs, “fine. I’ll be,” her lips curl in disgust. “Civil.” 

“Thank you.” 

-

The two step back towards the group. 

“Follow!” 

She keeps quiet when her foster mom gives her a stern look. 

“Notice the back turned to the rest of the band.” The producer points to said member of a former boy band he worked with, “bad boy.” 

The group walks to the other side of the hallway. 

“Notice the back turned, the dark clothing, and the scowl. Bad boy.” 

“But there can only be one bad boy per group, as learned from the bad boy’s experiment of the ’95.” 

“So glad I wasn’t here for that.” 

The boys shush her. 

“Didn’t sell a single CD.” 

Sulane snickers behind her hand. 

“But we’re best friends. We never turn our backs on each other,” Kendall points out. 

She scoffs through her nose with an eye roll. 

“Not gonna happen,” says Carlos. 

“No way,” Logan adds. 

“Uh-uh,” escapes James. 

“Then let me let you in on another rock and roll secret. The bad boy is also the most popular member of the band, makes the most money, and dates the most models,” the producer explains. 

She raises her hand, “that’s not always true. There are times when the underdog manages to win over the hearts of teenage girls.” 

James and Carlos shush her before the two plus Logan fight to stand in front of the others. 

“I can be bad,” says the pretty boy. 

“I’m so bad,” Logan argues. 

The helmet lover brings his arms up, showing off his muscles, “look at my back.” The other two follow his actions. “Look at my back.”

She rolls her eyes and walks down the hallway, not wanting to be around anyone right now. 

-

The door to their apartment swings open with Logan being the first to walk through, whooping along the way. 

Mama Knight looks to the two blondes for answers. “Gustavo says one of us has to be a bad boy,” Kendall explains to his mom. 

“But you’re all nice boys.” 

Sulane snickers, “I love when I come over.” 

Kendall’s mom freaks out and grabs the boy by his shirt, “oh, I am so glad you’re here. There’s an axe maniac on the loose!” 

They look over towards Katie’s sign that says, “no there’s not!” 

“Oh, well, we’ll be extra careful then, mom. We promise.” 

James walks over, wrapping an arm around Sulane’s shoulders. 

“You better remove that arm and shove that fake bad boy attitude teen feet away from me, Diamond.” 

The boy nods, removing his arm before running over towards the other fakes who then start demanding for things. 

“I’m leaving.” She closes the door gently, not wanting to disrespect the mom who’s done nothing wrong. She heads back to her apartment, needing to be alone for a bit, maybe eat some licorice. 

-

Gustavo holds auditions for James, Logan, and Carlos to see which one of the three will be the bad boy. 

Kendall takes a seat beside Sulane, who has her headphones on as she works on finishing her essay. 

After James fails, he sits on the other side of the chair. 

She pulls her headphones off to hear Kendall saying, “you mean be fake. I can’t. Besides I’m terrible at faking.” 

“No, Kelly is terrible at faking,” Gustavo argues. “I can always tell when she lies to me or Sulane.” 

The woman chuckles, “I have never… lied… to either of you.” 

“See?” 

“Gustavo, we just don’t want anything fake about our band.”

The teen girls lower lip tilts to the side, knowing this is not going to end well for any of them. 

“Your band? Your band? This is my band. Are you telling me that you’re gonna ignore me and Griffin and the record company and not be our bad boy?” 

“Yeah, pretty much.” Gustavo points to him. 

“Bad boy!” Kendall and the others groan, although the blonds is more of an annoyed groan and the others is an upset version. 

“Get Griffin over here,” the producer tells Kelly. 

-

“Why isn’t his back turned to the rest of them?” Griffin asks. 

“Because he won’t do as I say!” Gustavo shouts until he scoots closer to his boss and says, “which makes him the bad boy.” 

Kendall shrugs, holding his arms up, “and I don’t turn my back on my friends.” 

Griffin walks closer to him, “that’s good. I respect that. But I said I wanted bad.” 

The other three hear that and go crazy, pretending they can be the bad boy. 

It all ends when Carlos falls after breaking a wooden board with his helmet protected head. 

The boss ignores this and continues. “A bad boy is someone parents would never let their daughters date,” he turns to his assistants. “And I would let my daughter date any one of these boys, which is bad.” 

Sulane snorts, covering her mouth to hide her snickering knowing that Mercedes would eat these boys alive and hopes that it never happens because- she shudders realizing why this is bad… she cares. So, much for being in a good mood. 

“Do something about this, or I will. Wait. I already did. Say hello to WayneWayne.” 

A guy with a hat, sunglasses, and a sad pathetic soul patch comes in, pushing the producer off to the side. 

After he finishes his rap, Griffin turns to Gustavo. “Give him the contract.” 

The assistant closest to him, slams the contract into Gustavo’s stomach. “Isn’t he bad?” 

“Bad,” Kelly “agrees” but Sulane understands what definition of bad she means, the teen feels the same way. 

“But great,” the older woman adds, correcting herself, ignoring the odd glances she continues to get from her boss. “I mean, really, really bad, but, like, in a good way.” 

Sulane rolls her eyes. ‘She’s gone off the deep end.’ 

Gustavo gestures for her to stop. 

“Wow,” she breathes out. 

“WayneWayne, blow it up.” 

“Later later, Griff-Griff.” The two fist bump before the man in charge leaves. 

The supposed bad boy turns around, checking out the boys. 

James nods, “yo, WayneWayne, I’m-” His arm is slapped down, he turns to Kendall and his expression tells the blond how much in pain he’s in. 

“Wasting your time. Look, I ain’t here to make friends, okay? I’m here to take Big Time Rush to the next level. The WayneWayne express is leaving the station. So you fools steps on… or step off. WayneWayne out-out.” He spins around, running directly into Sulane, who’s trying to find a loophole in the contract until she’s interrupted. 

She grimaces, “ew, get off.” She shoves him away from her. 

WayneWayne lifts his sunglasses off his nose, clearly checking her out. “And who is this?” 

Everyone tries to pull the “want to be bad boy” away from her before something bad happens. 

Gustavo stops the boys, hoping that the teen can help them out and get rid of the problem before it gets worse. 

She narrows her eyes at him, trying to figure out where she’s seen him before. She can’t but she won’t stop looking until she does. She covers her nose, “how much cologne did you use? The whole can. You smell like a dumpster mixed with Jasner’s seventh month old oranges that he wouldn’t throw out until I forced him to.” 

“You think you’re funny-funny.” 

“Oh no, bud. I’m a hoot but right now, I’m gonna go barf barf. You guys have fun.” 

“Wait- what?” James stands in front of her. “You’re not going to stay here and help us?” 

She walks out. 

WayneWayne scoffs and pushes past Kelly and Gustavo, walking in the opposite direction. 

“We don’t like him,” the boys say. 

She pops her head by the door, making sure he’s gone. “I second that.” 

“I thought you left,” says her boss. 

“I could not stay in here any longer with his terrible… everything.” 

Gustavo snatches the contract back from her and slams it closed, “You like him.” He lifts his hand to prevent any arguments. “Yes, you do. You all do.” 

Carlos pops up. 

Logan looks at him with a concerned expression. 

“He’s the bad boy. And he’s staying at the Palm Woods. So be good boys and you,” he points to Sulane. “Don’t get smart with him.” 

“He needs to be challenged.” She avoids his hard stare and sighs, “fine but if he-” 

“Ah.” 

“But if he-” 

“AH!” 

“FINE!” She crosses her arms and waits for him to finish. 

“And make friend-friends with WayneWayne but keep her away from him.” 

The boy wearing the helmet asks, “who’s WayneWayne?” 

The others stare at him with a confused expression. 

“A very bad smelling person.” 

“Shut it!” 

“He smells bad Gustavo!” 

-

“Hey, girl-girl.” 

“That is not my name.” Sulane turns to WayneWayne. 

“You sit-sit on this,” he points to one of the pool chairs. “And I lift-lift you.” 

She furrows her brows, not understanding how that can be physically possible for him. “You think you can-” She bites her tongue remembering Gustavo’s words. Her left eye starts twitching, “maybe some… other time.” 

He nods and searches for someone else. 

She bumps into Camille. “Oh, sorry- Camille.” 

“Why is your left eye twitching?” 

“I can’t be mean to someone and I’m dying.” 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” 

“Help me find an outlet?” 

“I have an idea.” The girls scream and smack Jasner. 

He whines, “ow! Ow! Ow!” 

They stop once they realize who it is. 

“Why would you do that?” the brunette asks. 

“I thought you two knew I was here.” 

“If we knew you were here, don’t you think we would have said something.” 

“Oh, yeah.” He shakes his head, “anyway, I overheard, and I may have an idea.” 

The blonde raises a brow, “what is it?” 

He pulls out the big bag of skittles from behind his back. 

“Where did those come from?” Camille takes the bag from him, snacking on a few pieces of the candy. 

The three walk out to hear the Jennifer’s rooting for WayneWayne. 

“Okay, can someone tell me how it’s possible for his chicken arms to lift three girls?” 

Jasner shakes his head when Camille glances over at him. 

“We have to hide behind someone or something.” 

“What are we gonna do, throw skittles at him?” Sulane jokes. 

The teen boy says nothing. 

“Oh my- you what, that’s actually not a bad idea.” 

“Oh, look. We can hide behind the boys,” Camille offers. 

“Or the bush over there,” Jasner adds. 

“Take cover behind the people,” the blonde says, picking up the pace. 

They settle in behind the band. 

“What are you guys doing?” asks Kendall. 

“Oh, you know just… enjoying the sun,” Camille weakly tells him. 

Sulane grabs a handful of skittles before snatching the bag from the brunette to pass over to Jasner. 

Sulane scoots in between James and Carlos. 

Janser settles between Carlos and Logan. 

Leaving Camille to scoot in between Logan and Kendall. 

The three tosses over as many as they could with James and Carlos helping out. 

“Does anyone else think that should be physically impossible for him to be able to bench that much?” 

“Definitely,” Logan agrees with the blonde teen. 

“Are you ever gonna stop bringing that up?” the raspberry lover questions her. 

“Nope.” 

“First, he joins our band without our permission,” James complains. 

“It technically wasn’t anyone’s choice since your leader didn’t want to take the initiative and make it easier for you guys.” 

James shushes her. “Now he steals out girls- who have no interest in us- but it’s still not fair.” 

WayneWayne glances over at the seven, the three with the candy duck. 

“Is he still looking?” 

“No, you’re fine now,” Kendall tells Camille. 

The three slowly push themselves off the ground, warily staring at the other side of the pool. 

“And that’s why we’re gonna get rid of him.” 

The pretty boy moves his head closer to the “bad boy” of their band. “Kendall, get rid of him.” 

“Why me?” 

“Because he scares us,” James gestures to the three of them. “And Sulane isn’t supposed to get on his bad side.” 

Kendall gets off the pool chair, “we are a band. And we’re gonna do this together, because we are not afraid of some loudmouth-” 

Sulane and the other two shake their heads, trying to get him to stop talking. Kendall ignores them. 

“- Backwards hatted, droopy pants wearing- he’s right behind me, isn’t he?” 

“You want trouble-trouble, Ken-dork? Bring it, bring it.” 

“Personally, I want someone worthy enough to be my enemy to have proper grammar and not sound like a three-year-old.” 

The others scoot in front of her, blocking her from WayneWayne’s view as they stand up from the chairs. 

Kendall sighs. “Yeah, we’ve decided that there’s only room for four members in Big Time Rush.” 

“Great-great.” 

“No,” she whispers, tripping over the chairs to get closer to the band. “You guys just screwed yourself.” 

“Why?” Logan turns to her with a confused expression. 

“You, Griff-Griff. The guys agree with me.” 

Kendall and Carlos turn to one another with furrowed brows. 

“Five in the band is too many.” 

“Sounds fresh WayneWayne. I’ll stop by the studio tomorrow to see which one goes. Griff-Griff out.” 

James has his hands in his hair and lets out a startled scream. 

“You see, my contract states that I’m guaranteed to front a band, and I picked this band.” 

That’s all she needed to hear. 

-

Sulane pulls out her phone and runs into a cabana. “Griffin.” 

“Scary teenage girl?” 

“How do you feel about gambling?” 

“I don’t like to lose.” 

“Then you’ll love this because if you do this my way, you won’t lose... too much.” 

“I don’t think this is a part of an assistant’s daily duties.” 

“Oh, it’s not but if you want to make money, possibly even more than you are now. You’ll listen.” 

“Fine.” 

She steps out, an evil smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. ‘Bye-bye, WayneWayne.’ 

-

“You two are free to go now, we’ve done all we could here.” 

“Why do I feel like you already have a plan set in motion?” 

“Because I do, Camille. I do.” 

“Well, if you need me, you know where to find me. Oh, shoot. I’ll be back soon, I just realized I’m going to be late for an audition if I don’t leave now.” 

They wave her off. 

“I don’t want to do my homework so I’m just gonna hang out with you.” 

“Fine,” she shrugs. “Where’d they go?” 

He points over towards the bush. 

“Ah.” 

-

“- sipping out of a coconut look tough.” 

They hear the last part of Logan’s comment. 

“No, he doesn’t.” 

“Focus,” Carlos smacks the back of his head. “One us is gonna get kicked out of the band.” 

“My money’s on Logan,” James whispers. 

“Mean.” 

“Nobody’s breaking us up. We’re a team. We’re not afraid of WayneWayne or anybody else.” 

“That’s a lie,” Logan points out. 

“Okay, but Sullie is on our side.” He turns towards the teen with a raised brow, “right?” 

“Sure.” 

Camille pops up in front of them. “Hey, guys.” 

The boys scream. 

“I love the outfit.” 

“Thank you.” She offers what Sulane assumes to be a smile. It’s hard to tell with her wearing a mask. “Oh, relax, I didn’t get the part. Maybe throwing the casting director in a flying headlock was a bad idea.” 

“I told you not to do that.” 

“I know, I know but I wanted to impress them.” 

“Maybe you’ll get it next time?” Jasner adds, giving the brunette a bit of hope. 

“They also didn’t like the fact that I smelled like skittles.” 

Jasner pouts, “that’s just rude.” 

“Maybe someone’s allergic to the yellow or red dye?” Sulane offers. 

“Oh, now that would make sense.” 

“I know it would.” 

“Ignore her,” James says. 

“Camille, we’re in an urgent save-our-band mission right now.” Kendall points to the other side of the pool. 

She turns, “oh, is that why we were throwing skittles at him.” 

“He’s also a major jerk who smells terrible,” the teen girl stresses the word, wanting to get her point across. “Does he look familiar to you?” 

“Yeah.” She turns back to face the six, “hey, when did Wally Dooley move to the Palm Woods?” 

The blonde gasps, “yes! That’s who it is! Thank you.” 

The band raise a brow at her. 

“You okay?” asks Jasner. 

Logan leans forward, “Wally Who-ley?” 

“Wally Dooley?” She turns back around, wanting to make sure that she’s got the right person. “Yeah, he must be up for a bad boy role, especially if he’s gotten on Sullie’s bad side. We worked together on the magic middle school. Yeah, he played towel boy.” 

“Oh, that was the guy you were talking about?” Camille nods. 

The boys shout, “what?” 

“Wait! Wait! Before we go and do some research, I have a serious question. Is his soul patch real or not?” 

Everyone gives her a look that says, “are you serious?” 

She shrugs, “what? I need to know so I can figure out if I’ll be able to rip it off or not.” 

“Oh, now that sounds more like you,” Jasner tells her. 

“Thank you.” She pats his shoulder, “see you get me.” 

-

Sulane cringes at the clip. “Ew. They couldn’t have given him a worse line.” 

“We’re not focusing on that,” Jasner points out. 

“You might not be but I am.” 

“So, WayneWayne didn’t grow up on the mean streets of Detroit,” says Logan. 

“Even his back story sucks.” 

“Shh!” 

“He grew up in a mansion in Dallas,” Camille tells him. 

“I wish I had a mansion.” 

“Shhhh!” James and Jasner shush her. 

“His dad invented toast on a rope,” the brunette girl adds. 

“That was not a good invention. It never made sense to me,” Sulane voices her thoughts. 

“No, it wasn’t but it made them rich.” 

“And he’s gonna kick one of us out of the band?” Kendall starts to get upset. 

“Technically, it’d be Griffin or Gustavo. Maybe me if it’s Griffin who needs to fire someone.” 

“Don’t stop me when I’m on a roll, Sullie. Well, we’re gonna kick him out of the band, cause’ we don’t need no fakey-fakey, poser-poser-” 

Logan points behind him while Carlos silently freaks out and James eyes widen. 

The three behind the boys do a cut off gesture before Carlos and James start doing it. 

Jasner shakes his head at a fast pace. 

Camille sucks in a deep breath, knowing this won’t end well and no one knows if the terrifying and rough blonde teen can save them. 

“He’s behind me again, isn’t he?” Kendall turns around, scoffing upon the sight of the fake bad-boy. 

Camille steps forward, waving, “hey, Wally.” 

He smiles, “hey Camille.” 

Jasner steps forward, pulling the girl with him. “I knew you looked familiar, and you deserved a better line.” 

He tries to hide his smile, “thanks… her words?” 

The boy nods. 

“No hard feelings?” He puts his hand out in front of her. 

She narrows her eyes at him, “you gonna keep acting like a jerk towards me?” 

James and Jasner pout, realizing the latter’s mistake, pulling her back. 

A nervous smile breaks out on WayneWayne’s face, “I can see why people are scared of you. What if we, I don’t know, run lines before Griffin comes to the studio?” 

She shoves the two off her and steps forwards, shaking his hand. “Deal.” 

“Cool. Oh, and news flash: this town is full of phonies, and nobody cares. Contract.” 

Sulane’s right eyebrow pop up at the sight of the loophole. ‘Perfect.’ 

“Hey, what do you guys think of the name WayneWayne Rush?” 

“Dude, once Gustavo finds out that you’re a phoney-phoney,” Carlos starts. 

Sulane steps to the side. 

“You are out-out,” James finishes. 

“You guys, Gustavo is a joke, okay?” 

She crosses her arms, glaring at him before stepping to the side once more. 

“Griffin has the power, and he’ll get rid of whoever I say, and I say,” WayneWayne puts his sunglasses back on. 

“It’s you,” he gets in Kendall’s face. 

-

Sulane takes this as her opportunity. She walks over towards the one dude who holds the contract. 

He helps her and she makes the switch. 

“Thank you. Gosh, I’m so clumsy sometimes.” 

He nods and smiles, “it’s okay. As long as you’re not hurt.” 

“I’m not. Again, thank you.” She turns around and stares at the item. “Thank you, indeed.” 

Thunder cracking can be heard in the lobby. 

She turns around to find Jasner messing with someone’s stuff. She sighs and walks over, grabbing him and pulling her with him. 

“Where are we going?” 

After about twenty minutes, she found a solution. 

“We are going to do some reading because I,” she pushes the elevator button. “Am amazing and I need to be comfortable for this.” 

-

“Jasner!” She pushes herself off the floor. 

“Yeah?” 

She gasps, placing a hand over her heart. “Oh my god. How long have you been there?” 

“Five minutes.” 

“Did you eat my licorice?” 

“No.” 

“Ten for however many you ate.” 

He reaches into his pocket and slams the money on the coffee table. “Deal. Call Gustavo?” 

“Call Gustavo! I got a plan.” 

-

“Gustavo, we can come up with a plan,” Kendall tells the producer. 

The air vent pops open, and the duo hop down. 

“Boys.” 

“Ooo. They are really good at plans… especially when they have help,” Kelly points out. 

“And help has arrived.” 

“No plans! I don’t want you hockey heads pulling any one of your schemes or shenanigans that are gonna get me in trouble with Griffin and the record company.” Gustavo reaches for the lyric sheets which are then snatched away from him by Sulane. 

She gestures for Jasner to turn around so she can use his back as a clipboard. 

“Gustavo, are you sure this is the song you want them to sing?” 

“What’s wrong with it?” He steps closer to her, reading what’s she’s written. “We don’t have enough time for a new one. This is what we’re working with. James,” he hands one sheet to the pretty boy. “Logan.” Music sheets are shoved into the brainiac’s chest. “Kendall.” Same with him. “Carlos. Study them. Learn them. Got it?” 

The boys take a glance at the sheets and glance back at the two. “Got it.” 

“Good, now let’s get to work.” 

“Since when are you so happy to do anything for the studio?” Kelly asks her daughter. 

“I want to see WayneWayne fail.” 

“That sounds right.” 

The others walk to the studio, wanting to get a little practice in before everyone shows up.

 -

“Kendall,” Sulane whispers. “Psst!” 

“What are we doing?” 

“We are getting you bad boy ready, but we can’t do it here.” 

The three stand in Gustavo’s office. 

She looks over at Jasner, “I need tight pants, don’t give me that look, Knight. It’s necessary. Leather jacket, black of course. Hmm.” 

“Black t-shirt?” 

“And white, we need options before we can decide. Black shoes. You know what? Let’s stick with black. It’s our safest and most bad boy option.” 

“Got it.” The raspberry lover exits the room and leaves the two in an awkward silence. 

She grabs the small makeup bag she grabbed from Camille before coming to the studio. 

Kendall fights with himself on whether or not he should ask her. “Can I ask you something?” 

“I’m gonna lie and say no since I know you’re gonna ask anyway.” 

“What happened?” 

“What happened with what?” 

“Us? I mean we were friends before you moved away and then we get here and you’re acting like- like-” 

“Like what Kendall?” 

“Like a jerk? We did anything.” 

She scoffs, “yeah, right.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“What I mean is that you jerks never wrote any letters when you said you would! And it really hurt because I thought we were better friends for that!” 

“We wrote you letters! You were the one who was a jerk and never wrote back or “found” the time to talk to us when we called.” 

She furrows her brows. “What?” 

“Yeah, you never wrote us back and we wrote you like a lot of letters, every week. We even got on a first name basis with the people at the post office because we had to send the letters in a box.” 

“Wait- wait- wait- shut up. You sent letters, every week?” 

He nods, “every week.” 

“Same day?” 

“Every Tuesday.” 

“Kendall, I never got any letters.” 

“What are you saying?” 

“We all wrote each other but I never got anything. I never knew you guys called and I was always home.” 

“You- are you serious?” 

“No, I’m messing with you because I’m that mean. Yes, I’m being serious. I never got any letters or phone calls but why would I- oh my god.” 

“What?” 

“My-” 

“I’m back and I have bad boy everything.” 

Neither of the two try to talk about it again. 

“What’s the plan?” Jasner asks as Sulane helps Kendall with his makeup. 

“Destroy Gustavo’s office.” 

“Seriously?” the leader closes his eyes letting her do it. 

“It’ll look terrible but an easy fix. I’ve thought about how I would do it. I’ll also need some lemonade.” 

“Moving on.” Jasner hands the bottom half of his outfit to the “new bad boy”. 

“We’ve gotta make the room look really bad. Take a sledgehammer with you. We’ll need to pull some wires and break some shelves-” 

“Where does the lemonade come into play?” Kendall sits down tying his shoes. 

“You need to pee in a drawer.” 

“But I won’t… right?” 

“Lemonade. Break one of his albums.” 

“His platinum album?” 

“The one on the left is fake. It'll look and sound real but I promise you it’s not.” 

“Got it.” Kendall tugs at the collar of his jacket. “I think I’m ready.” 

She checks him over, making sure he looks like a bad boy. She fixes the few strands of hair that are out of place. “You look the part but are you ready to play the part?” 

“It won’t be forever. I got this.” 

“We can get a head start and ruin this part of the office before you smash everything.” She nods, “looks good, let’s go.” 

Jasner grabs the hangers and makeup bag before opening the door. 

The leader grabs her wrist and pulls her back. “Are we okay?” 

“You mean after finding out that my mom hated you all so much that she ruined our friendships and let me believe you were all total jerks. Yeah, we’re good.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“No, I’m sorry, Kendall. You know- none- none of you asked for me to act like that and even though I helped you guys, I was still rude which I will work on. It’s just- it’s gonna take some time and-” 

“I get it… and I’m sure the guys will too once we explain to them what happened.” 

She sighs, “do we have to though?” 

He wraps his arm around her shoulders, “yep.” 

-

“What are we waiting for?” asks Griffin, staring at the boys (minus Kendall). “I’m antsy… and concerned. The scary teenage girl isn’t here.” 

Kelly bends down, to inform Griffin of the current situation. “We’re missing Kendall.” 

“So, you got rid of Kendall.” He hits the speaker button. “My money was on Logan.” 

-

Sulane glances over her shoulder, “seriously? Come on.” 

The two run around the corner. “These pants are really tight. Can’t I wear something loose?” 

“No, fashion is quickly changing and bad boys now wear tight pants. Be happy it’s not cutting off circulation. Last time someone wore skintight skinny jeans, the fire department has to cut them off.” 

“Kelly?” 

“No.” Jasner raises his hand. “It was me and I said I was sorry.” 

“I told you not to try on my clothes.” 

“Okay, that’s fair.” 

“We’re here. Jas, come here.” She hands him the speaker. “Press play when we start walking in.” 

“You’re coming in with me? Isn’t it bad boy?” 

“I gotta show off my support for my… friend.” 

The two share small smiles. 

“Once in a lifetime opportunity?” 

She nods, holding up her fist. “Exactly.” 

Kendall fist bumps her before they do the same for Jasner. 

-

The brainiac removes his headphones, setting them on his neck. “Why does everybody keep saying that?” 

“Let’s hear my new bad boy band.” 

Jasner walks behind the two, holding a speaker that has aggressive rock music playing. 

“Yeah, let’s hear it.” Kendall and Sulane high five. 

“Do the pose,” she whispers. 

“Oh no,” Kelly whimpers. 

WayneWayne drops his headphones, walking with a limp towards his enemy. 

“Oooo,” Carlos practically bounces where he stands. “It’s a bad boy off.” 

“A bad boy off?” Griffin repeats. “That sounds interesting. Doesn’t that sound interesting?” 

“You know, one thing I know about bad boys is,” Kendall grabs a microphone stand and walks over towards the wall of records away from everyone. “They like breaking stuff.” He breaks a record. 

Gustavo stands up and screams. 

WayneWayne removes his sunglasses, shocked at the sight. 

“He’s right. Bad boys do like breaking stuff.” 

Gustavo runs into the room, “what was that? You smashed one of my platinum records?” 

“Oh yeah?” WayneWayne starts, getting in Kendall’s face. “Well,” he grabs the stand and smashes three records. 

Kendall and Sulane bump elbows, not wanting anyone to catch onto the plan. 

Kelly jumps on the producer’s back and the sound booth guy, Tony, stands in front of him. 

“Ooh, round one of the bad boy off goes to WayneWayne. Someone ring a bell.” 

“I wouldn’t say that,” Sulane disagrees. 

Next round is a mic off which Kendall wins. 

-

Terrible, terrible sounds come from Gustavo’s office. 

Jasner drops his favorite unowned cat, Coco into the room from the air vents. 

“That does not sound good,” Griffin says to the producer who then whines. 

“He locked it,” Kelly sighs when Gustavo tries to open it. 

He opens the door only to find absolute chaos and a serious amount of damage. 

Kendall walks into the doorway, tossing the sledgehammer over his shoulder. 

Gustavo runs out, whimpering, “he destroyed my office, my music awards, and he used my drawer as a bathroom.” 

The leader sends a glance her way. 

She smirks, giving him a two-finger salute. 

“Bad boys go where they want.” 

“That’s a new one,” Griffin tells Logan. “Original. And very, very bad.” 

WayneWayne starts freaking out and walks between everyone. “I’m the bad boy. Me!” 

“Dude, he went in his desk,” says Carlos. 

“I’ll show you. And I’ll show you. And I’ll show all of you. I’ll- I’ll-” He kicks Griffin in a place no person should be kicked. 

“You’re a bigger idiot than I thought you were,” Sulane tells him. 

Griffin’s guards grab him. 

“You’re right, WayneWayne. Big Time Rush should be only four.” 

“You can’t fire me. You know why? ‘Cause I have…” He pulls out the fake contract from his pants pocket. “A contract. You have to put me in the band. It says it right here.” He opens it to find, “You suck” on page one. “You should have kept a better eye on the contract” on pages two through five. And “Buh-bye LameLame” on the last page. 

“Actually,” Sulane intervenes, holding the actual contract. “I’m sure you already know this Griff-Griff but, he has to be put in a band.” 

“A band.” 

“Exactly. You got my email, perfect.” 

“Yes, which means he goes in a band. Just not this one. They already have a bad boy and a scary teenage girl.”

“Later, lamelame.” 

Kendall lets out a sigh of relief. 

“Good job.” She holds her hand up for a high five. 

The leader pulls her in for a hug. 

“But I don’t want to wear these clothes all the time, and I won’t turn my back on my friends.” 

“Fine,” the man in charge agrees. “And, you can still date my daughter or Sulane.” 

The teen shoves him off her. “What?” 

“But I want you nowhere near my desk. Griff-Griff out.” 

They fist bump. “Oh, and one more thing.” The man in charge holds his hand out for a handshake. 

Sulane accepts and returns the gesture. 

This time though Griffin does walk away. 

Wally keeps whining as everyone waves him off. 

She checks to see what she was gifted. ‘Sweet.’ 

“What’d you get?” Kendall moves closer, curious to what she got. 

She smirks, “my winnings. Never gamble against me, let this be a lesson to everyone.” 

James opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted when the producer chimes in. 

“You,” Gustavo shouts. “Nice work,” he removes his glasses. “You two, Sulane and Jason.” 

“Jasner,” the raspberry lover corrects him. 

“Julian.” 

“Jasner.” 

“Juniper.” 

“Jasner!” 

“Jas- n- ner.” 

Everyone does a weird handshake, yes, even Jasner. 

“What?” Kelly stares at everyone with a confused expression. “But he- he smashed and you- he went in-” 

“I teamed up with the hockey heads and other ‘cause she does have good plans.” 

The boys nod, they can’t argue with him. 

“I was here the whole time. When did you plan this?” 

The boys pull out the sheet music they were given earlier which says, “let’s get rid of WayneWayne.” 

“Hey, I could’ve helped. I’m part of this team, too, you know?” 

“Yes, you are,” her boss says. “But you’re still a horrible faker liar actress.” 

No one disagrees. 

“You’re not good. I’m sorry, Kels,” Sulane tells her. 

She starts fake crying which makes everyone cringe. “Yeah, you’re right.” 

-

“Hey mom,” says Kendall. “I’m a bad boy.” 

The group of six enter the apartment. 

“What’s the maintence guy doing on the floor?” James asks as they all walk by, not really doing much about it. 

“Maintence guy?” Mama Knight repeats. 

“Yep. I like to call him Budda Bob,” Sulane tells her. 

“Oh. Oops. Who’s your friend?” 

“Jasner. Hi, lovely to meet you.” 

“Let’s check out WayneWayne’s new band,” Kendall smiles, turning on the TV. 

“Oh, please don’t,” Sulane mutters, knowing where he went. 

“He is really bad,” James comments. 

They change the channel and land on the news. 

“I knew that girl was weird.” 

“You met her?” Katie and Sulane ask Jasner. 

“Yeah, she told me about Coco... the cat we used for extra flair.” 

“That’s Molly. I told you she was weird.” 

“Yeah, you got that right.” 

“Hey, double B,” the teen girl greets him. 

“Hey, kids.” 

“Mom? Is that your rental car?” 

“Yep.” 

“I hope you got insurance.” 

“So do I,” Mama Knight says.

After about an hour, she decides to head back to her place with Jasner following her. 

“Can’t you stay for dinner?” Carlos stares at her with puppy dog eyes. 

“I really want to, but I can’t.” 

The boys pout. 

“We’re holding you to it though,” Kendall shouts as she closes the door. 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

-

She unlocks her apartment and takes a second before she walks in. “How are you feeling?” 

“Tired and worried that I smell like that nasty cologne.” 

“That’s what I mean, and you know it.” 

“What do you want me to say Jasner?” 

He sighs. 

“I just- I’m tired. I really am. Right now, all I want to do is… make some music to help me but I can’t.” 

“Who says you can’t?” 

“No one but,” she takes a deep breath and sits down on the chair closest to the table with her licorice. “I just found out something and I don’t know how I should feel about it.” 

“What happened?” 

“I found out that my mom was the reason I had no friends for a first year after we moved in. She kept the letters; didn’t even mail them you know. Oh, and the icing on the sucky cake is the fact that she took every call from the guys and- and- I thought that they didn’t care. I actually started to doubt our friendship because of her. I,” she huffs. “I’m gonna go shower. You can do whatever. Leave, stay, I don’t care.” 

Jasner waits until she finishes, not wanting to leave her alone for too long as she’s getting closer and closer to breaking down. 

He leaves and runs back to his apartment. 

-

She sits on her bed and stares down at the floor, part of her guitar case handle sticking out reminding her of her hesitation earlier. She bumps it with her foot and pushes herself off the bed, getting dressed. She braids her hair, not in the mood to dry it or have it become a frizzy mess. 

She grabs her guitar, headphones, and backpack before exiting her apartment. She needs to let out some steam and the studio is the best place to do that. 

-

Jasner groans before he runs back to the boys, knowing he can’t do this alone. 

He frantically knocks on the door before pulling back to see if anything works. He sighs and starts knocking again. “Hey guys? I’m not gonna go away until someone answers the door.” 

The door swings open. “Hey kid.” 

Katie gives him an unimpressed look. “Do you know the kind of day I’ve had?” 

“I saw the news, I know. But this is kind of an emergency and I need the guys help.” 

“Fine. Kendall!” She walks back inside. 

“What?” 

“There’s someone here for you!” 

“Who is it?” 

“I don’t know. Go find out yourself.” 

“Would you two stop screaming?” Mama Knight stands in the doorway. “Oh, Sulane’s friend, right?” 

“Yep, Jasner. Can I borrow the guys for a bit?” 

“As long as their back before it gets too late.” 

“You got it… and let’s say that maybe- uh- something happens, and they have to stay a little longer, anyway I can convince you of letting us have a sleepover.” 

“I don’t know.” 

“What if- what if we spend the night here? I promise you this is going to be nice for Sullie.” 

“Why- oh. Oh my gosh, is that today?” 

“You know?” 

“The newsletter for our old neighborhood mentioned that Janine got into an accident, but I didn’t realize it was so soon. Okay, once you find her, bring her back. It’s a movie sleepover and I won’t hear it, alright?” 

He nods, “you got it.” 

-

Sulane sits behind the drums, starting of slowly with her foot stomping on the foot on that base pedal. She loses herself in the banging not realizing that there were other people in the studio. She chucks the drumsticks onto the ground before cradling her head in her hands. 

“Uh- hey?” 

She screams, falling off the stool and groans at the loss of her breath. 

“We’re sorry,” the five apologize as they help lift her up. 

She shoves them off her, quickly wiping her cheek. “What are you all doing here?” 

“We know.” 

“I’m gonna kill you.” 

“Woah.” “Woah!” “Woah.” The band pulls her back, not letting her get closer to the guy with the weird name. 

“You’re not gonna kill him,” James tells her, his hands gently squeezing her arms, keeping her in place. 

“And why not?” Her head snaps up to his, lips pursed. 

“He told us so we could help you because we’re your friends. Even if you hate us.” 

Her bottom lip wobbles. “I don’t hate you guys.” 

Logan and Carlos share a look. 

“She- can I just tell them?” asks Kendall. “I’ll buy you another thing of licorice as a down payment for protection from you?” 

She nods, using the sleeve of her jacket to wipe her cheeks as she sniffles. 

“We just found out something and it’s kind of big. Turns out, she was writing letters they just never got mailed.” 

Logan shakes his head, “wait-” 

“What?” James and Carlos practically shout. 

“You know how her mom never liked us.” 

The three nod. 

“Yeah, well, turns out we didn’t realize how much.” 

“I just- I wish I knew where those letters were because she never had the time to throw them out, you know. I mean did she- did she hide them or something?” 

“If she did, would you even know where to look?” Jasner chimes in. 

She rolls her eyes, “no.” 

“Since we’re already here…” the five turn towards Carlos. “Should we-” 

“Definitely not,” Sulane shakes her head. “We’re not even supposed to be in here.” 

“That’s the thing about having a bad boy,” Kendall runs into the recording studio, moving a few buttons and knows until it starts recording before he runs back out. “He does whatever he wants, when he wants.” 

She takes a step back, “I- I couldn’t. I mean, we shouldn’t, right?” She sees that she’s out numbered. “Oh, come on. You know, we don’t even have a song to sing so ha-h,” her voice cracks at the last word. 

“We could sing one of ours.” 

“Or one of yours,” Jasner suggests, liking where Kendall was going. 

“You write songs?!” They shout. 

“No!” She grits her teeth, “Jas.” 

“We have to,” Logan starts. 

“Just this once,” James whines. 

“You deserve it after saving the day,” Carlos tells her in a sing song tone. 

“You wrote a really good one a few months after you came to the Palm woods,” Jasner says. 

“Sure, but it’s also really sad and I don’t think we need that right now.” 

“What if it helps you through some of your emotions?” James asks, with his bottom lip sticking out. 

“I’m not good with emotions.” 

“Then sing the song and let it out,” Logan tells her. 

“No.” 

“Come on.” 

“No- ugh,” she stomps her foot. “I hate you all but I’m not singing that one.” 

They try to protest. “I’m gonna do something else. You guys can join or not, whatever but I can’t just stand here and sing, I’ve gotta do something, okay?” 

“Fine.” 

“I’ll be in the booth,” Jasner runs into the booth, getting everything set up the way he needs it to be, he knows exactly where she’s going. 

“Someone care to do drums?” 

“I’ll do it,” Carlos snatches the drumsticks before anyone else could say a thing. 

“You guys can figure it out, I’ll be on the guitar.” She takes a deep breath as she clicks open the case, gently lifting the guitar out of its case. A shuddering exhale slips past her lips as she holds the instrument in her hand. 

She slams the case shut, not noticing the items that fell out. “I don’t know if any of you can handle this but, try to keep up, yeah?” 

“We can-” Kendall flinches at the sound of the track playing. “We got this.” 

“No, you don’t.” 

“Shut up, Jas. No one asked you.” 

The four look over at Logan as he follows along with the intro of the song. 

He shrugs at their glances, “what?” 

Sulane joins in, followed by Carlos, James, then Kendall. 

ALL ABOARD ON THE CRAZY TRAIN!

The two without instruments or a mic walk towards the open space of the room. Kendall interlocks his hands, Logan steps off and does a backflip. 

Sulane and Carlos are the loudest until Jasner’s voice comes over the mic again, “do it again!” 

They shake their heads and start practicing their dance moves that they have to know before the month is over. 

The song comes to an end, and everyone is freaking out. 

“That was awesome!” Carlos jumps around the group. 

“Who knew our little cheerleader could sing like that?” 

She scoffs and shoves Kendall away from her, “please never call me that again.” 

“You used to like it when we were kids,” James points out. 

“When you guys did hockey- you know what, I’m not even gonna fight with you guys anymore. Let’s just pack it up and go.” 

“One more song?” Carlos pleads to her, his hands joined together as he sticks his bottom lip out. 

“No.” 

“One more?” The other three join in. 

She stares at the teen and sighs. “Fine.” 

They do a quick celebratory dance. “You’ve made me weak.” 

“You’re only saying that because we know your weak spots,” James jokes as he fixes the microphone, needing it to be higher so he isn’t as hunched over. 

Logan runs inside, telling Jasner to play one of their songs, one he knows the blonde will know since she, most likely, helped Gustavo with it. 

She groans at the sound of the track playing. “Why?” 

“The city is ours,” Kendall shrugs. 

“That wasn’t even a good pun.” 

The boys start singing with Kendall and Carlos sharing a mic while Logan and James share another. They don’t stop trying to get her to join in. 

She looks down and starts playing her guitar, distracting her until she can’t no longer. She belts out the lyrics when it’s James and Kendall’s part. 

My, my look how we roll, was it only a month ago 

Everybody said we were dreaming 

This feels right, everyone can feel it. 

She removes the strap of her guitar off her shoulder, setting it on the guitar stand before being ambushed into a jumping group hug. 

“That was really good,” Jasner tells them over the mic. “Oh, sh- we gotta go. It’s almost midnight.” 

The boys start cleaning up. 

Sulane grabs her guitar and opens the case, a few envelopes are popping of out of the pocket with a few stragglers in the bottom of the case. She furrows her brows and picks one up to find her name on it. ‘I’ve had them the whole time.’ 

“Are you ready?” James asks her. 

She shoves everything inside and closes it. “Let’s go.”

Previously: Chapter III // Continue: Chapter V

[thinkatoryprocess]

Girl Kendall/Naomi? Girl Kendall/Nate? Girl Kendall/Lukas? Girl Kendall/Rava?

Does she still have kids?

What a buffet of options.

Beneath a read more so I don't destroy people's pages by writing a whole goddamn fanfic under there, but I address all of the above.

Kendall dips in and out of her relationship with Stewy because more than once she's broken up with him in the middle of an episode and decided to justify herself post facto by finding someone else. Now it's not really a secret that Kendall is a hot mess, but she doesn't actually commit to anyone who treats her like total trash, so she winds up with some decent relationships in the midst of the ongoing thing with Stewy - and, to be clear, only one or two of these people think that they can ever compete with Kendall and Stewy's whole thing. She'll go back to him. They're just here for the ride while they can get it.

Kendall dates Nate when she's young and in the heat of a long manic episode, and Stewy is a fucking mess about it. They're a surprisingly good match, if nothing else because he can keep up with her and will head into those dark and crazy places with her while not being a dirtbag. She's too embarrassed as she comes down to admit she wants to go back to Stewy, but Nate realizes how sad she is and forces a breakup on her behalf. He's not usually that nice, but he's not interested in trapping her in a thing with him, either.

Kendall's relationship with Rava is her first queer relationship, and she is desperate to keep it under wraps. Rava's being totally reasonable about things, but Kendall is in rough enough straits with Logan as it is, so she's terrified of blowback if it all comes to light. It did work some of the time, and could've worked long term, if Kendall had been less scared of anything seeing the light of day.

Kendall's relationship with Naomi is her second queer relationship, and by this point she's older and more willing to risk a little more. Also, Logan already threw rumors about her being a lesbian in her face, so what the hell at this point. Naomi and Kendall are both addicts and they both care about each other but they also have the same kind of stare-death-in-the-eye thing going, which is not great for both members of a couple to have if their continued walk in a sane and reasoned direction can be expected. Eventually Stewy actually intervenes and there is a very dramatic thing where Kendall flips out at his intervention only for her to break down and leave with him without hesitation.

Now we come to Kendall/Lukas. When Kendall meets Lukas, she and Stewy are in talks about getting back together after a fight about the freezing of embryos. Neither of them can figure out if having kids is a good idea, and neither of them wants to say no, but neither of them is ready to make a decisive yes, either. It's a painfully long fight and they put some distance, at which time Kendall meets Lukas at Argestes. He makes a pass at her, but he's so weird, but so intense, and she's immediately intrigued. The problem is he lives across the Atlantic. She isn't sure she's ready to go back to Stewy - some things were said that everyone still needs to recover from - but also starting something new feels like a bad idea, too. All this kind of goes flying out the window when Lukas says something that only someone with that kind of deathspiral in their head would find romantic or arousing or both, and Kendall says nothing as she drags him up to her hotel room to bang his soul out of his body. They date and absolutely adore each other but everyone around them knows this is a very bad idea. Stewy's stuck watching this from the sidelines, but Logan cuts in with Kendall before he gets a chance to. You're too old to be this embarrassing, he says. Get your shit together. Kendall lashes out at Logan before she realizes what she's doing, he hits her, and Kendall immediately drops everything, figures her shit out, and goes back to Stewy without ever explaining what happened. She cries a lot for a day or two, then she's back to normal.

Kendall goes into treatment after leaving Lukas and returning to Stewy, and is placed on medication in the process. She and Stewy are in their mid-to-late thirties when they marry, and 40 when they have their first kid via IVF. (See, Dad? She's totally stable now. Everything's fine.)

[georgiaheartsdilfs]

→ the interview (PT 3/3) sebastian s x f!reader

my masterlist :) : M A S T E R L I S T link to part one & two one: drunk night out two: tomorrow morning your outfit : kendall jenner style file - number 1 <3 (sebastian's is in the gif) prompt : its now been 3 days since you and sebastian hung out, you ended up giving your number over to him and sine then you guys have been messaging almost every night before bed, like highschool. Sebastian told you today he has an interview and coincidentally you had an interview at the same time and place, you didnt tell Sebastian because you thought it would be funny. other notes : not a warning but this is sort of a long chapter ok cool, this is part three i know i said to comment for part three but i had nothing to do lol but lmk for part four. Sebastian had messaged me this morning before he left to run some errands about how nervous he was for his interview. He told me that he had only rarely ever done interview by himself, but then again he wasn't really doing it by himself, I had replied that he would be amazing as usual and he sent a thumbs up. My manager had insister i didn't tell him about our conjoined interview, yet again she wouldnt tell me why both of us were being interviewed. I mean it's not like we were in a show or movie together, we had only ever met twice in our lives. The only thing my manager did say, was to not get too offended by the questions because apparently I get angry fast? Ok, whatever. I searched through my closet although the interview was later tonight I'd rather find something now rather than later. "y/n how about this dress" my manager Stella says holding up a baby blue corset dress "you think?" I know I said I only had black, red and more black in my closet but that was casual clothing.

I have a whole new closet made especially for interview clothers and formal party clothing, I despise dressed but since society says a woman needs to be feminine and since I like to dress nice... on some occasions, I wear dresses. "its floral and, i had word from Sebastian's manager that he was wearing something floral too" Stella had great ideas for my career, this wasn't one of them "and make the world think we are dating... no thanks this crush is already stupid enough as is" I say causing Stella to pout. Did I forget to mention Stella had no prior experience before me, that's because she was my college bestfriend... now shes my boss bestfriend?

"Come on y/n it would be so cute" she smiles holding it up and I give in "it does look nice" I sigh and she jumps laughing "matching" she says laying it on my bed "baby blue heels I suppose" I smile grabbing my baby blue heels and placing them on the floor infront of my dress. Stella claps excitedly "perfect, you are perfect y/n" she smiles pulling me in and kissing my cheek "you're my boss, not my lover" I turn to her and she rolls her eyes "I'm just excited, maybe Kevin Feige might ask you to be a new character in the MCU" she says and I chuckle "I wish im barely even a good actor, i'm just good looking" i smile. Stella holds my arms tightly "you are great, you are perfect dont undermine yourself y/n you've been destined for greatness since middle school" she says and I nod "you're right" I say and my phone buzzes in my back pocket. "and who may that be?" Stella wiggles her eyebrows somehow, it was an odd talent she had but a talent nonetheless. "It's Sebastian" I smile at my phone sitting down on my bed "what did he say?" her voice had drained out slowly as I focused on the message. seb <3 it's so busy out in town, wyd? im at home with my bestfriend, shes talking to me rn but i cant hear her shes going home in a few minutes anyways lol do you mind if i visit for an hour or 2?

yeah sure come over the doors unlocked so you can walk right in :)

sweet see you soon i'll bring over some snacks

"y/n hellooo?" Stella said waving her hands in my face and I looked up "he's coming" I stand up grabbing the dress and heels quickly putting them in my closet "what he's coming here now?" Stella says looking at me as I rush around my room "yup he's on his way" I clear my throat "no i dont want him to know my bestfriend is my manager" I say "well i want to meet him what if you date, i dont know who he is" she says strictly "I'm older alright, go home if you want to know about him watch his interviews" I say and she rolls her eyes. "fine but i'll remember this, the first time I could have met the winter soldier" she says and I walk her to the door "key word COULD" she says "I'm sorry I love you but I have to tidy the place up and put the dress away before he comes" I shrug innocently and she nods "No I understand" she says looking at me rolling her eyes. "I promise we can get chinese together the next time we hang out all on me" I say and she nods "now I understand" she smiles winking at me kissing my cheek goodbye. I run to my table tidying it up with all the papers of future projects covering the whole table, I run to my room throwing my heels and dress in my closet. I wipe down my tv and straighten up my hair "god look at me" I say looking at myself through the shiny TV "i'd never do this to impress man, especially a man who's seen me drunk and asleep" the palm of my hand connects to my face as my front door opens "sebastian?" I ask "no its Bucky" he chuckles and I smile. "Hey" I laugh going up to him and hugging him as he hugs me back with one arm since his other arm was carrying a bag "I brought some chips and dip and chocolate because who doesn't love those" he smiles "oh god i love chocolate" I say showing him to the living room "your house is beautiful y/n" he says looking around "it's a bit bland I would've liked to get some art but uh, my bestfriend said not to so I put it away when she comes over" I say and he laughs. we sit down on my sofa as he places the snacks on the coffee table "so big interview today" I smile and he nods "its about the new falcon and the winter soldier series apparently, marvel kinda let it slip that the falcon and the winter soldier was a thing" he shrugged opening the packet of chips eating some. I had remembered Stella mentioning the whole MCU thing one time about how they could need a new villain or avenger but, I always pushed that thought away because I could never live up to them. "have you started filming yet?" I ask and Sebastian shakes his head "no they still need casting, I actually put your name forward if you dont mind" he said and my heart skips a beat "really?" I ask excitedly "yeah Kevin liked that idea" Sebastian smiled "wow even if i didnt get a part the fact that Kevin Feige knows i exist" I say and Sebastian laughs. "its crazy right" he smiles and I nod grabbing his hand "thank you I could hug you but I might accidently do a heimlich and do the opposite and make you choke on your food" I say and he nods laughing and I let go of his hand. "man thats crazy i could kiss you" I say pointing at him and he looks at me for a moment before laughing "wait hold on" he says swallowing his food and then pulling a mint out tossing it in his mouth "give it a minute" he says swirling it around in his mouth "now" he says laughing and I blush. "that would be hilarious" he chuckled and I nodding opening the chocolate and breaking off a piece "it would be wouldn't" I smile to him "lets get in a movie together and make an excuse to kiss" he says and I nod "we should do that" I say and he nods "no we really should" he says holding in his laughter "ok laugh" I chuckle as he bursts out laughing. An hour passes of Sebastian and I straight talking about random nonsense from acting to food, from friends to marvel it was great. Until I checked the time and the interview was in 3 hours from now. Sebastian checks his phone "what do you have my name under?" he asks and I blush. "what do I have your name under?" i repeat and he nods, how was I suppose to show him that I had seb<3 as his

name "show them at the same time?" I suggest "ok flip on 3" he says holding his phone up facing him "1.. 2" i say "3" we say together flipping our phones. darling y/n <3 "i get a love heart i see" he smirks "i get the word darling and a heart come on you so love me" I nudge him and his cheeks turn red "you so love me I have a nickname" he says and I laugh "yeah ok" I say not denying it. Another hour passes and it was time for Sebastian to go "ugh sometimes I wish I didn't stay as the winter soldier but I love the character so much" he groans "aw I know dont worry you'll be the best" I smile supporting him "thanks" he chuckles standing up. "you can keep that, eat them whilst you watch my interview will ya?" he says pointing at the chips and chocolate on the table "promise" I say giving him a gentle smile and I stand up hugging him "i'll message you later" he says before walking towards to door "bye " I smile following him opening the door for him watching him get in the car. I close the door and lean my head against it, i so have a crush on this man. some time later (you are now on your way to the interview) Jimmy Fallon said that I should come a bit later after the first commercial break because Sebastian would see me and he wanted it to be a surprise, which I suppose wasn't too odd. Driving into the studio parking lot I park my car next to Sebs because I found it funny, I walk into the studio and the makeup person asks me to follow her for makeup. I follow her and she adds slight touches "are you ready?" the director says and I shrug "ok so you will come up through this elevator, do your wave to the crowd and sit next to Mr Stan" the executive producer says and I nod. There was a view of the interview from the makeup chair so I watched it intently "So Sebastian, recently Anthony Mackie adressed this whole party he had was it a month ago?" Jimmy asked and Sebastian nods "about a month ago yeah" he said. "and Mackie said that you met his really good friend y/n y/l/n? Now we have had her on this show a few times before but what was she like?" Jimmy asked and Sebastian laughs "Right well that was my first time uh meeting her" Sebastian pauses to laugh. "And uh Mackie sent her home because she wanted to give me her number and Mackie was jealous of her being more popular than him, but no she's greats I love her" Sebastian says laughing "this is your cue" the executive producer says leading me to the elevator. "So how many times have you met her after that?" Jimmy asks "maybe twice more after that and I got her number too finally" Sebastian says and I laugh quietly. "The duo you never knew you need" Jimmy says "yeah its a bummer she isn't here she's hilarious" Sebastian chuckles nervously "right on cue Sebastian, everybody welcome y/n y/l/n!!!" Jimmy says and everybody starts clapping, the elevator rises and I pose. Reaching the top everybody started clapping even louder and I laugh walking out waving "hi" I say walking towards Jimmy hugging him and then Sebastian stands up and I hug him too, I then sit down next to him. "no way" sebastian laughs "hi" I giggle "didn't expect that now did you?" Jimmy said and Sebastian laughs shaking his head "no, how are you? its been like two hours" Sebastians smiles "wait you guys hung out today?" Jimmy asks with his arms out and Sebastian and I nod. "yeah and I tried so hard not to tell him" I laugh as does the crowd "I feel like I've been played" Jimmy says and Sebastian giggles "Well then that leads me to my next question, I'd have to change it now uh when was the second time you both hung out then now be honest because I can tell whether you're lying" Jimmy says and I go red and look at Sebastian who laughs. "do you want to tell them or should I" he says laughing and I cover my mouth "you can" I say quietly and Sebastian nods "she finds it embarrassing" he continues laughing and I hit him gently "it's not funny" I groan and he stops laughing. "ok so it was actually like almost a week ago. y/n was having a night out with her friends and at this time I didn't have her

number so it was just a coincidence" he paused looking over to me cringing and he leans back smiling (gif) "I was out late just you know driving around new york and uh I found y/n drunk on the floor across the road from the bar" he says laughing and I shake my head in disappointment as the whole crowd laughs "she tried to hug a tree" he says "the tree looked nice alright" I say defending myself. "ok alright sebastian, we got food and he dropped me off home and i went to bed" I lie blushing and Jimmy starts clapping "oh god thats amazing" he says "no it's not its truly embarrassing and you know when I was maybe 20 I had this fat crush on sebastian, so 20 year old me would be even more embarrassed than I am now" I shake my head. "god its so embarrassing, like the second time I've ever met Sebastian I'm drunk, on the floor and he has to buy me food" I say, Jimmy laughs "but did he get your number then?" he asked "yes, yes he did when i started sobering up" I nod smiling and everyone claps. "Well I'm glad that I didn't have to scare the truth out of you because I'd have to show this picture that I'm going to show anyways" he says pointing at the camera and the picture shows up of Sebastian carrying me bridal style to his car and everyone laughs. "I couldnt walk" I shake my head embarrassed "Just Married" Sebastian says laughing "she doesn't know this but whilst I was ordering chinese food, i had left her and my phone in the car and I turned my back to her and then a couple minutes later I turn around and see that she was using the front camera of my phone to record me and she was making a vlog" Sebastian says. "sebastiaannn" I groan "did I?" I ask and Sebastian nods and I punch him gently again "you guys seem to be close friends is that right?" Jimmy asks and we both nod "yeah I mean once a man has seen you drunk off your face and takes you home I think you consider that really good friends right?" I say laughing "Of course" Sebastian says. "Sebastian, Y/n relationship?" Jimmy asks and Sebastian and I go red "Sebastian so loves me, if you were me you'd understand me but he so loves me" I say confidently "and if you knew what i'd know you'd know shes in love with me, major difference y/n" he turns to me and I open my mouth widely. "Wow" Jimmy laughs "Y/n Y/l/n and Sebastian Stan everybody, thank you for coming" Jimmy says and then the show cuts to commercial break. Sebastia and I walk backstage "you kept that from me you little secretive woman" he says nudging me "It was so hard not to tell you because I was so excited" I say walking with him as we walk out of the studio "where did you park?" he asked "next to yours" I smile "perfect" he said as we continued walking. "did I really record a video?"

[loveandthings11]

How Deep My Love Goes, Chapter 2

Read on AO3 l Chapter 1

Roses

He’s talking low in her ear.

He’s talking low in her ear.

“Do you know how much I missed how you feel?” She’s inhaling him like a drug as he collapses on top on her. “I’m fucking obsessed with you,” he whispers. “That was fucking amazing.”

She smiles into his skin. He can feel it with the lights off.

“Mmmm, I definitely missed you… and your talents.” He’s been starving for her compliments and feels like he’s high again when she gives them. He smiles and looks into her eyes like that’s where the truth is. 

“Oh, yeah?”

She holds eye contact while she pulls him closer.

“Oh, yeah,” she whispers as she kisses him, deep and messy, the way they only do in the dark.

They lie there in the quiet while their breathing slows. He kisses her shoulder and she closes her eyes. This is how it should be, how it had felt on their wedding night. They’d been safe and warm and listening to the waves outside. 

After a few minutes she feels his energy shift and knows the worries of the last day are pulling him away.  He moves to lie on his back and pulls her onto his chest. She knows what he’s thinking.

“Your dad’s going to be okay,” she says quietly, reaching up to give him a hug. He nods, but he’s not convinced.

Right now he’s trying to fill shoes that he fears are far too big. She wishes she could take away the heavy pressure on him from all sides. She’s never understood how he could do it. Logan never lets go of his son’s mistakes and he makes sure no one else does, either. He piles on constant reminders of the past.

She moves up so her face is next to Kendall’s. He’s staring at the ceiling and she gently places her hand on his face, guiding him back to look at her. Connection.

“You can do this,” she says. She’s the only one who’s ever said it to him, and it’s nice to hear a good answer to the question that’s been haunting him for 20 years. Once in a while, her words get through the ocean of doubt he lives in. Right now, he just wants to forget.

He rolls her over and brushes his lips over the soft skin on her neck. It sends tingles all over her body.

“Don’t you have to go to work at some point tomorrow?” She asks coyly.

“Fuck being CEO,” he mutters into her, kissing down her collarbone.

“Fuck being CEO?” The phrase is so absurd she can’t help but start laughing. He gives her a devious glance from his lowered place on her chest.

“I can’t go in. I can’t keep my hands off you that long.”

“Clearly!” She almost forgot how insatiable he is. His hands start wandering further. Electricity in the dark. She squeals as he touches a ticklish spot and it’s enough to make him need all of her right this second.

“That’s it,” he says. He locks his lips onto hers and slides the two of them back into the place where nothing else exists.

…………………………….

It’s early when she wakes up and light is streaming in through the curtains, all white and to the floor. He’s sleeping snuggled up next to her, curled into her with his hand on her heart. He must know it’s home, he’s always lived there. He’s breathing softly, finally feeling some peace. She smiles at him even though he doesn’t see it, and she thinks maybe everything else can wait.

He stirs and she wraps her arms around him. It’s the first thing he feels that day. He takes a breath and wonders if it’s the same dream he’s had before. It’s a hard one to wake up from. Her hand slowly rubs his back and he feels the ring on her finger. She hadn’t wanted to take it off last night. He inhales the scent of her skin. It’s real.

He opens his eyes and sees her soft smile, looking right at him. Sometimes you do get exactly what you want.

“Good morning,” she says to her husband. Her husband. It’s the first time they’ve been able to relax in forever. She loves the look he’s giving her. She loves all the colors in his eyes. 

The world is still for a few minutes. Maybe an hour. Time slowly enters her consciousness.

“You know, we might have some visitors soon,” she says with a knowing glance. They share the sweet moment before he reluctantly untangles himself from her arms, reaching for his t-shirt on the side of the bed. He’d tried to put it back on last night and she’d shaken her head, pulling him back to her and bringing out that little bashful smile.

She slips on her silk robe from the chair and sits back down next to him on the bed. The fragrance of her fresh roses floats through the air. She wonders if he remembers they’re the same as the ones that surrounded them when he proposed all those years ago.

He gets up and goes into the closet. There’s no way but he has to check. Folded up on a top corner shelf are his old Harvard sweatpants, hiding from everyone but her. He puts them on and walks out to show her what he found, giving her that self-satisfied look that makes her bite her lip.

“I knew you were pining for me.” He looks so annoyingly pleased with himself and she tries to roll her eyes but smiles against her will. He nods. “Yeah, I knew it.” She’s shaking her head and trying not to laugh. “The photo, the sweatpants, what else did you- did you have a stash of my voicemails that you’d listen to at night? A collection of my shirts you would sleep with?” He can’t remember the last time he had this much fun.

“You thought of that really quickly, Ken, I think you might be projecting,” she laughs. He gets closer to the spot she’s sitting on on the bed.

“Yeah, don’t try to toss it back. These were in your closet.”  She looks up at him, her favorite memories falling back into place.

“You live here again now, remember? So, actually, it’s your closet too.” He takes a second to take that in and blinks, smiling at her as that hits him. Maybe enough time has passed. Maybe she really has forgiven him.

They hear the patter of little feet coming down the hallway and she stands up, walking toward the door.

“You ready?” She asks. He’s never been so ready.

She opens the door a crack.

“Hi, you two,” she says happily. “I have a surprise for you!”

The anticipation is killing him.

“What, what??” Sophie asks excitedly.

“See for yourselves,” Rava says, swinging the door open. Their faces light up.

“DAD!” Sophie yells, running full speed and flinging herself at Kendall, hugging him with all of her might. He’s got his arms around her in one second and he looks so happy that Rava might cry. She walks with Iverson over to the side of the bed. Kendall sits down with one arm still around Sophie and gently puts the other one around him. 

“Hey, buddy!” He says to his son, studying his face and glad to see him grin. Iverson looks back at his mom. Rava gives him an encouraging smile.

“Your dad’s going to be moving back in with us,” she says in an excited tone, and Kendall watches Sophie’s eyes widen. It seems like it’s really happening but it’s still hard to believe it could be this simple. 

“Really??” Sophie asks, totally amazed. It’s just what he’d been hoping he’d get to see. “So you’re in love with each other again?”

They laugh to themselves.

“That’s right,” Rava’s relishing being able to take back the separation talk she’d had to give the kids by herself and lingering in exuberant eye contact with him over the kids’ heads.

“I thought you said love doesn’t come back,” Sophie says innocently, still smiling and gazing at her mom. Kendall’s eyes are gone in a second, staring straight down at the comforter.

Rava can barely look at either of them. It makes her queasy that Sophie remembers the awful thing she’d managed to say the day she had flown back from dropping him off at the treatment center and ending it all, when all her hopes were gone and she didn’t know if she’d ever get to touch him again. She summons the will to speak.

“…But sometimes, honey, you get very happy surprises. Dad is back!!” She exclaims, trying a little too hard to bring the excitement back. Sophie smiles, satisfied with the answer and content to cuddle up to her dad. He’s here and that’s all she needs to know. Kendall focuses on the bed and leaves his arms around her and Iverson for a minute.

“Okay, time for school,” he says for the first time in too long, feeling out of place.

“Okayyyyyy,” both kids grumble. Sophie bounces off the bed, knocking the nightstand and making the vase of roses wobble. The kids head out of the room and back down the long marble hallway to get ready.

Rava closes the door and dreads turning around. She can feel his eyes on her. She tries to look at him.

“You said that to her, Rava?“ his voice is dark and sad and she wants to rewind by 5 minutes. She’d almost made herself forget what happens when he thinks she’s against him. She squeezes her eyes shut.

“It was the day I got back…”

She glances up at him. He has that terrible mixture of hurt and anger all over his face. She takes a deep breath.

“I dropped you off, and when I got home, she asked me when you were coming back.” She hates every word that’s escaping her mouth. “She wanted to know when we would be together again and I had to figure out how to explain that we… I didn’t want to give her… false… hope.“ She’s staring down at the floor. This is the opposite of what she wants to do. She’s so tired of ugly truths.

He wishes he were anyone else. The guilt and shame are twisting him into knots of tension. She wants to smack herself. They can’t get stuck here.

“I’m really sorry, Ken. I didn’t think she’d remember.”

“Well, she does, though.” Everybody does. He scoffs. “Is that what you think about this, really? You and me. It’s not even possible? What is this, another fucking… one-night flirtation, and it’s just nothing?” He’s searching her face. She winces, shaking her head vehemently and trying to find words. “I mean, I mean what else did you say to her? I thought we agreed that they weren’t supposed to know about all our shit. There are supposed to be- like, two people who don’t fucking think-“ 

He shakes his head. Her stomach is grabbing itself. She didn’t miss this part.

She hesitantly walks over to the bed and puts her hand on his shoulder. He leans away and she can tell he’s sinking.

Everything is breaking in his head. He’s the reason Sophie doesn’t get to be a kid. They probably know about all the worst things he’s ever done, just like everyone else. Rava gave up on him. Love doesn’t come back. She’d wanted to separate. She still looks at him and only sees white lines. It’s all spiraling down the drain. His dad is dying in the hospital and he doesn’t trust him to follow in his footsteps. He’ll never be CEO, his siblings will never respect him. They think he’s a joke, the shareholders are running to sell with him in charge. Everyone looks at him and sees one-time potential that came to ruins, reduced to nothing but dust.Powder. The weight of it is crushing him.

“I really should’ve known better.” He stands up and looks around for his things. He thought he was finally getting there with her.

Her heart is pounding like it used to toward the end when she got scared she was losing everything every time they fought. It’s only been a few hours. This can’t happen.

“Don’t say that,” she pleads, catching up to him and taking his hand. He stops walking and extricates it from hers. He hates that he’s ruining this but he can’t make it stop. 

“You can’t do this now,” she starts panicking. “We just told them-“

“Yeah, we just told them we’re back together and I found out my nine-year-old daughter thinks that’s impossible because that’s what you fucking told her.”

“Ken, you don’t get to criticize everything I’ve done, I didn’t mean it when I said that and you’ve barely even been here since then!”

He’s silent.

She regrets it immediately. Dredging up the past is not the way to the future. It’s old news now. She has to stop saying things she doesn’t mean to say. She drops her head back and closes her eyes for a second.

“I didn’t-“ she sighs. She wants to tell him that the anger was only covering the sadness. “It felt like a miracle when I could get out of bed back then,” she says, quietly this time. He knows the feeling. 

“That’s not what I think now. I meant what I said last night,” she says, holding up her hand to show him the ring. Things were so good 10 minutes ago, 6 hours ago, 14 years ago.

“Right. Sure.” Of course she’ll never stop seeing him at rock bottom, it’s where everyone sees him. His dad, the shareholders, the only one who used to believe in him… He wishes he could have another chance at all of it, but suddenly it feels too far gone. “I’m sorry for… everything. I should go, you know… Dad… and I have to figure out this buyout, so…” he trails off, stepping over to where last night’s pants are lying on the floor. Probably should’ve picked those up before the kids came in- one more mistake.

“No.” She’s borrowing his mask of strength, blocking his way. She has to save this. He’s overreacting, he’s so worried about how he’s seen. It’s so far in the past now. That terrible phase is over now, it can be good again now. It can’t fall apart, it can’t all disappear again. She can’t go through that again, she can’t explain it to them, she wouldn’t make it this time. She can’t smell the roses on this side of the room.

She tries again. “You know, the kids don’t know about- the other stuff. Their rooms are still full of legos and Barbies. They’re still kids. It’s not too late.” She really looks at him. “It’s not too late.”

He wants to believe her more than anything. He misses when she was just in love. She has to see he can be better this time. It’s only been a few hours, how could she already be thinking about the worst day they ever had? She probably sits with the kids and talks about it all the time. He’s focused on not letting her see the tears forming. He’s gotten good at that, he thinks.

She sees his eyes instantly. It looks like he’s drowning in there. She wants to dive in and save him. She remembers this part.

“It’s been really, really hard without you here,” she says sincerely, hoping for any clue that she’s getting through to him. “I know how much you’re going through.  I’m sorry. I really don’t even think about it anymore.”

“Well,” he gets out as he turns toward the door. “It was my fault, so…”

“Ken,” her voice breaks at the thought of causing him more pain when he’s already dealing with so much right now. She wants to be his safe person, the one he can trust and the one who never hurts him. There’s a lot to muddle through, but it’s worth it to get to him. “Hey, things are different now. How hard has it been for you to stay sober all this time? You’ve done it. That’s different, and it’s great. I see that! It’s not like it was.”

“Yeah. It’s… been really fucking hard.” More than she knows. He’s still trying to hold back tears. At least she gets that he’s been trying. He looks down but he stops making movements to leave. He doesn’t know which way to go.

She’s still worried, looking around for any possible way to go back in time by a few minutes, by years and years.

Something shiny on the floor catches her eye. Next to his pants is his wedding ring, flung out of the pocket in a moment of wild passion the night before. Just a few hours ago.

“You had your ring last night?” She asks cautiously. He still can’t look at her. He doesn’t really want to answer, but she might as well know the truth.

“I, uh… I always have it.” He tries to play it off, but he can tell that she’s struck.

“For three years?” She says, barely above a whisper.

He turns to look at her for a split second and shrugs before looking back down at the floor. She sees it now.

She pictures him putting the ring in his pocket every single morning. Keeping it with him when he’s in meetings at work, when he’s sitting in that flashy apartment meant to fill the void, when he’s riding in the car alone at night. She doesn’t even know he feels for it through the fabric every time Logan storms into his office to thunder about what stupid thing he’s done now.

She misses him even though he’s right in front of her.

She doesn’t care if they’re fighting. She needs the distance between them to go away, right now. She knows he’ll stay if he can feel how much she needs him, how close she wants him. She takes his hand and guides him back toward her, tugging a little when he doesn’t respond right away.

“Come here,” she practically begs him.

He feels like maybe he shouldn’t let her do this, but he can’t bring himself to move away. He takes a step toward her and she presses herself into him. His need for love is overpowering and she’s exuding it, sending it right into him, right through the wall he just put up. She wraps her arms around him and he closes his eyes and rests his head on her shoulder. She breathes a sigh of relief.

There’s too much being sloshed on him at once and he doesn’t know if he can handle it. He wonders if she’ll ever be able to go a day without remembering his most shameful moments, wonders if anyone will. He wishes he could undo all of it, wishes he could make his dad wake up. He wonders if the family breakfast he’d imagined 6 hours ago is still even possible. He wants his kids to have what he didn’t. She can feel him trying as hard as he can to stay afloat.

“It’s okay,” she whispers. He doesn’t have to hide his feelings from her. She holds him close and he tightens his arms around her. She wants to do anything to console him. He’s carrying more than the average person could even dream of and she can tell when he feels it all crashing down on him, when he can’t find the surface. But she can help him now. One step at a time. She thinks about last night.

She keeps one hand on his arm while she reaches for the ring on the floor and stands back up, slipping her arm back around him and looking into his eyes carefully. Her touch is making some of it drain away and he finally looks back and takes a breath. They were right last night. Maybe with more time she’ll see him like she did before.

“I love you,” she whispers. “Then and now.”

She slips the ring onto his finger, like he did with her last night.

“I love you, too,” he says quietly. He’s looking down at his left hand. It looks familiar. Safe. Another breath. The smell of waffles wafts through the air. It mixes with the flowers and smells sweeter. He wonders if the roses are a coincidence.

She gives him a reassuring kiss and starts gently playing with the ring on his finger. 

“So I guess you were pining for me, too.” She sees the beginnings of a smile returning to his face. “Don’t worry,” she says softly. She can’t fix it all for him, but she can tell him a good truth. “The kids will see for themselves that love comes back.”

Chapter 3 💗

A/N: Thank you @tvgremlin for encouraging this obsession 😘

[shivvy-roy]

i feel like shiv is actually a perfect representation of like. institutional “centrist” democrats because she wants to paint herself as the good guy who’s horrified at what happened on cruises and wants to fix waystar’s treatment of women but she pulls the nancy pelosi “reach across the aisle” stuff in a way that really just manifests (like it does in congress) with shiv as the sole “liberal” being absolutely dogwalked by people at a conservative media empire who don’t give a fuck about appearing “woke” or with the times. 

she convinces herself she has to be high up at waystar because “stuff only ever gets done on the inside” (which she repeats a number of times) but then when connor actually brings up the “no blacks no jews no women” rule she closes the door so nobody can hear. she plays pretend about being horrified to enter the republican vipers’ nest but then jumps in headfirst and starts pulling for the first candidate who offers her power. she talks that woman out of testifying to congress about what happened to her on a brightstar cruise and promises she’ll work on the inside to get things done and then fixes nothing.

 shiv is mocked by other characters as this token SJW type but they’re so cartoonishly evil that even her outrage at finding out kendall’s children are being spied on is laughed away as an overreaction. and in the meantime she has a father who uses the f slur against her brother multiple times just based on the faint suspicion that he might be gay and she is still dying for his approval.

 she gets to have this pretend moral high ground because she’s surrounded by this open bigotry and will quirk an eyebrow at it or point it out in some small way but at the end of the day she’s never going to be offended to the point that she’d say enough is enough and actually walk away. and nobody ever capitulates to what she wants in terms of inclusion or fairness (even her own brother, who is trying to paint himself as the “savior of liberal democracy” mocks her with a song called rape me when she’s talking about women’s issues at waystar) she’s just always chasing after these evil people and giving away more of her soul to them and they never give her anything in return.