#nothing is better than an animal with void orbs

[ratorim]

Jaguars but i domesticate them <3

[kiranogareru]

DON'T

WARNING: Angst, Bakusquad boys being assholes, violence, bullying, cursing, toxicity

A/N: 3rd person view, this is the first of a few one-shots to come, that will be improved versions of my old imagines on my Wattpad!

'Another day at my most favourite place, UA Hero Academy!' You thought sarcastically

Better known as another day of bullshit you have to endure...

You still don't have a clue how you made it through two years of this already, but it's not like it matters, as long as you are in one piece!

Your time here has been..eventful? Well that's that's one way to put it, for lack of a better word

You are walking to the cafeteria alone as per usual, praying you won't be noticed by them. Unfortunately they are already there, waiting for you to show up, like animals waiting patiently to pounce on their prey and even though the place is packed with students of all classes and departments, they somehow still spot you in the sea of people!

"Awww there she is!" Kaminari mocked using a 'cute' tone and grabbing you by the arm to bring you in the middle of the group

"You made us wait today, not manly at all!" Kirishima feigned sadness and hurt, placing a hand on his chest

"Don't be so hard on her guys. Maybe she forgot where we were meeting" Sero cooed, cupping your face with one hand and applying pressure

The look in his eyes made you uneasy, because you know exactly what is going to happen next. You've gotten used to it by now

"Today has been sooo boring" Kaminari complained

"But that's why Y/N is here man! To make our day better!" Kirishima cheers, balling up his fists and doing his signature pose

To anyone watching you, this seemed like nothing but a normal conversation, but you know better..

"You better get out of here, you damn idiots" Bakugou's voice grumbled from behind you

The words almost filled you with hope, making you momentarily forget who spoke them in the first place and making you feel like a fool for thinking that way

Bakugou was like a leading figure to these guys, so why would he put you above his friends?

If anything, he is only scolding them because there's too many eyes around and they don't want witnesses!

That thought leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. This is the next generation of heroes? It's just so hard to believe.. it's truly appalling!

Bakugou stayed behind 'most likely to avoid suspicion' you figured

The rest of the boys drag you outside, to a spot you have grown familiar with ever since you were a freshman. It's beside the main building, a place typically void of students or teachers!

They chose this place because they know they won't get in trouble, since this is also a blind spot for the cameras in this area!

Kirishima shoves you to the ground, which Sero takes as a sign to bind your hands and tape your mouth shut, so they can start playing their favourite game with you

A game they like to call "How long until Y/N breaks"

It doesn't take long for the first kick to fly straight to your abdomen, followed by another and a few more..they add a few punches here and there to switch up the pattern

They don't want this to get boring too quickly, of course not! They want to have fun with it..because this is their sick idea of 'fun'!

Kirishima rips the tape from your mouth, since it was starting to peal off with all the blood and spit that had started coating it!

You feel weak, you can't even activate you fucking quirk to try and defend youself! Everything hurts, but what the fuck can you really do at this point?

Hopelessness, defeat, they managed to beat into you, all the things you hate being! They have driven you to a point where you hate yourself, because of what they made you!

'How am I supposed to be a hero, if I can't even save my damn self?'

'I don't stand a chance against them anyway, they have made that very clear, since the first day we met and every time after that'

"Please stop!" You plead over and over, but there is no use however

"Why do you keep doing this?" You let out a pained cry, but the only response you get is in the form of more hits

They are treating you like a sand bag and you don't even know why. You wonder what you could have done to them to deserve this

At some point they stop and a wave of relief washes over you as you think this nightmare is finally coming to an end.

That illusion completely shatters when you hear the voice of someone you know all-too-well and realize why they stopped to begin with, but you don't have time to process anything else, because Bakugou knocks you out!

•••

Your eyes flutter open, the first thing you see being your boyfriend of nearly a year, Bakugou Katsuki!

You take in your surroundings and sit up.

'Was I brought to Recovery Girl?' You question yourself, as your right hand comes up to your head, due to a pounding headache

"Baby are you alright?" He asked, reaching his hand out to touch your cheek

"Don't" Your tone coming off quite threatening, while your fragile figure tries to get up

Your knees give out and Bakugou is quick to catch you and hold you up!

"I'm sorry baby!" He repeats the same words you've been hearing since you first started dating!

"Get the fuck off of me! Let go!" You demand, clawing at his exposed arms in an attempt to squirm out of his grip

He let's go of you and you get yourself back on the bed

He looks at you with so much sorrow in his crimson eyes, but all that does is vex you further, makes you hate him! You can't stand to even look at him anymore!

The sight of his face makes your stomach twist, his presence alone causing your blood to boil and your knuckles to ache for some action!

You're barely able to hold back right now, because looking at him has suddenly become a reminder of an agreement he convinced you to make..

His lips part, but before he can utter another disgusting, half-assed apology, you shut him up!

"No more apologies Katsuki, no more fucking lies, I don't wanna hear it anymore! I've really had enough! I just can't take it!" You stated in an ice-cold manner

"I'm sorry ok?! I couldn't do anything, it's not up to me, I can't tell them what to do! Yes, they look up to me, but I can't control them!"

Can he not hear what bullshit is coming out of him mouth? Can he not hear himself right now?

This is the only thing going through your head at the moment

"I can't stop all of a sudden, they can't know we're dating!" Katsuki says, directing his gaze to the floor

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Without a second thought your hand makes contact with his cheek, the smack echoing throughout the room

A visible, red patch in the shape of your palm forms, as he lifts his head up to meet your burning gaze once more. His expression holds complete and utter disbelief!

"You said that once we got together this would stop, you promised, but it seems like you don't want it to stop! Are you enjoying it Bakugou? Do you get off at the sight of me breaking?" You asked , well aware of the fact that you're not ready for his answer, but wanting to hear it nevertheless

"I swear I will talk to them, I just need a little more time and then-!" You cut his rambling short

"It's always the same shit with you! Spewing fake promises! This time it won't work Bakugou, I don't have the strength to do this anymore! And I don't want to waste my love and time on someone who beats me so people don't associate me with him, someone who goes to this extent so he won't be seen with me!" You confess

"I'll chan-"

"Don't say it, because it's not true and you know that! You always tell me you'll change, but you don't even try!"

"I don't enjoy seeing you in pain, I just can't stop! I've been doing this for so long, I don't know how to be anything else. But I never meant to hurt you!" He finally answered your question

"If you don't want to hurt me, you'll leave me alone! I want to be away from this so called 'relationship', it's not healthy! I need a break!" You reason

"It's not a break if you never come back to me..it's a break up!" He lowers his head once more, hair falling over his eyes, as he speaks calmly

"Come back to you? As if" You scoff, laughing out

He doesn't dare speak, he is simply staring at you, with shocked, red orbs!

"You should have stayed with the League of Villains when you had the chance! That's where 'heroes' like you belong!" You eyes shoot daggers at him,

"Now get the fuck out, you Sludge-Bastard!" You demand, using the name he hates even more than the one Midoriya calls him

He is in tears, as he leaves the school's infirmary

It isn't so much because things ended between you as it is the weight of your words!

Bakugou processes what just happened, wearing a blank expression, while he walks through the halls of UA, tears still streaming freely!

Seems like he put a lot of thought into what you told him, because the next thing you know, a new villian makes his debut

[rekrappeter]

Over Again || r.c

pairing: rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary: being best friends with sarah cameron has it’s perks, her brother is the cherry on top [the usual cliche]

warnings: cursing | smut 18+ pls | most likely a choking kink at some point | unprotected sex | low?? risk of public sex | underage drinking | typos

**is bathroom sex low risk? idk**

note: you can thank @diverdcwn​ and @afterglows7b-tch13​ for there being smut in this :) enjoy + please let me know what you think about this!

masterlist

gif by @ptersparkers​ ♡

"Sarah, be careful," You shouted at your best friend, cringing while you watched the blonde carefully step over live wires to retrieve the stuffed animal stuck in a boat for a little girl. Everyone around you paused to watch the commotion, Rose was walking away in annoyance, muttering profanities under her breath and you spotted the troubled trio watching her intently from across the lawn.

Topper was almost jumping out of his skin, his eyes widening at his girlfriend’s actions. Kelce stood beside him, ceasing his conversation to pay attention to her. And the third and final member had a intense and displeased look on his face, but Rafe wasn't staring at his sister. His gaze was glued to you and you stared back at him, feeling yourself getting hotter under the burning sun. Your attention was snapped to Sarah when the sound of her scream echoed around the river.

Jumping from the spot on the grass that you were sitting on, you rolled your eyes when she started to laugh, mocking your expression. "Idiot," you muttered under your breath, bending down to grab your beach bag to drape it over your shoulder.

"Leaving so soon?" His drawn out voice sent shivers down your spine, his palm rested on your lower back as his chest pressed into your back. He must have rushed over to you in a sweat.

You turned around to face him, your eyes narrowing slightly at the smug smile stretching across his lips. "I have plans." You retorted, starting to walk away from the crowd gathering around Sarah. You knew that Topper would look after her at this point.

"Well, cancel them," Rafe suggested, jogging to catch up with you.

"Doesn't work like that," You scoffed, walking towards your car that was parked by the Cameron's mansion. You went to open the door but Rafe's larger hand closed it just as quick. He placed his hands on your waist, turning you to look at him and he trapped you between his body and your car. "Rafe, we talked about this. It was a one time thing."

"It was fun though, wasn't it?" He smirked, leaning down and placing his lips along your jaw. Your eyes fluttered shut, your heart hammering against your chest but before you lost yourself under his spell, you placed your hands on his chest and pushed him away.

"We both agreed it would be a one time thing, we were drunk." You couldn't help but feel embarrassed about the night you spent with your best friend's brother. You had known him your whole life, and despite being closer to his age than Sarah's, you still felt extremely guilty over it. Especially because you haven't told her yet.

Rafe raised up the cup he held firmly in his hand, one you didn't notice before. "I'm nearly drunk now."

"Rafe, it's barely even midday."

You looked up at the taller boy, noticing how soft his skin looked but his eyes were near hallow. The once endearing icy blue orbs were replaced by empty, dull ones. His hair was perfectly gelled back with his sunglasses resting on top of his head. His pink and blue striped shirt clashed against the pink shorts you decided to wear today. If a stranger spotted him, he'd look so put together but you knew him better than that. There was something deeper going on.

"What ya staring at?" Rafe smirked, leaning down attempting to press his lips against yours but you turned your head, making him capture your cheek. "Well, that's just rude." He chuckled, sighing and pulling away completely.

This allowed you to open the car door and create a barrier between you. "You know I'm always here if you want to talk, Ray." You were being sincere, knowing that he didn’t have much trust in other people.

"And you know I'm always here if you want to fuck, Y/N/N."

Rolling your eyes, you couldn't help your own smile that lifted onto your face. "You're impossible."

"And you're gorgeous."

"Goodbye, Rafe." You sang, hopping into your car and slamming the door shut. You looked at him, watching him signal you to put the window down. "What now?" You asked, resting your elbow on the ledge of the turned down window.

"Do you have a date to Midsummers?" He asked, his stare soft and gentle for once.

You laughed, shaking your head. "You know I don't bring dates to that, they'd have to answer to my father," you tried to play it off as a joke, but deep down, it annoyed you that you couldn't choose who to bring the Kook event of the year. Your father needed a by to by on their life history, in fear of destroying the family name.

"I get along well with your dad," Rafe hinted, he walked closer to the car, his arm leaning against the top of your door and his forehead resting against it, "Let me take you."

Your heart clenched in your chest, watching his face disappearing of any hint of that cockiness he was used to sporting. He looked vulnerable in that moment, the fear of rejection evident. He has asked you out multiple times before but to ask you to Midsummer's was something new. Something you weren't expecting.

"I'll think about it."

The beam in his eyes made your heart soar, and you waved at him, flicking your sunglasses over your eyes and start to pull away from him. "I'm wearing baby blue!" He yelled after the car, and you laughed waving your hand out the window to tell him you heard that.

The day of Midsummers finally arrived. There was no denying that Rafe Cameron occupied your thoughts over the last few nights; he hadn’t tried contacting you and you had been keeping a low profile on the island so was void of any chance of seeing him around. It didn’t bother you that he didn’t call, he never did before. But you couldn’t hide the excitement that was bubbling in your stomach knowing that in less than two hours you were going to see him again, despite turning him down multiple times. You enjoyed the games that he played, you liked making him work for you and you knew that he liked it just as much.

“You look beautiful, princess.” Your father’s voice broke through your thought process, you eyes staring at yourself in the floor length mirror that you had in your bedroom. The champagne pink dress hugged your figure, swooping out at your ankles to show off the heels you bought the day before. You styled your hair simple, clipping in small decorations to hide any bumps or frazzled pieces. 

“Thanks, dad.” You followed him down the stairs, meeting with the rest of your family. The annual pictures were taken, and you eventually found yourself walking through the Island club. The smile that was plastered over you face was genuine as you greeted family friends all dressed up to the nines, the finest champagne in their flutes that they would sip on all night. You didn’t have anything against anyone here, but your mind was solemnly sought on finding the dirty blonde that has been driving your mind crazy. 

The sun was slowly setting, the evening ambiance glowing around the club’s rather large patio. “Y/N!” You heard Sarah’s voice over the live band, watching her stalk away from Topper who was protesting, but shortly gave up when he knew he lost whatever argument they were having now. “You look gorgeous!” She grinned, taking your wine glass out of your hand and carefully took a big gulp, making sure there were no adult figures looking in your direction. 

“As you do, m’darling. Where were you yesterday?” You questioned, watching the blush rise on her cheeks. “Is that what Topper is getting all heated over?” 

“It-it’s nothing, honestly.” Your best friend sighed, taking another drink causing you to roll your eyes.

“Keep that one, I’ll get another.” You said, defeated as she finished the drink. 

Sarah swayed to the music, walking towards the dance floor before turning back to you. “My brother was looking for you by the way.” Your ears perked up at that, following her and popping along to the music. “You didn’t tell me he asked to take you tonight.” 

“What? He told you?” 

“He did, surprisingly.” Sarah hummed, taking your hands in hers and spinning you around playfully. “Why didn’t you accept?” 

“Tell me where you were yesterday.” You played, raising an eyebrow of curiosity in her direction. Her smile faltered and she narrowed her stare at you before giving up, shaking her head. You laughed at her before bidding her goodbye to find a replacement drink. 

You sauntered through the party, smiling at other guests but you didn’t stop to have any meaningless conversation. You found yourself walking inside, finding somewhere a bit more quieter. Hearing the commotion outside, you relaxed on a plush that was situated outside the restrooms. You closed your eyes, relaxing your tense shoulders. “Someone had a bit much to drink already.” 

The sound of his voice caused a smile to automatically appear on your face before you even opened your eyes, and when you did, you were blessed with the sight of him in a tight fitting baby blue suit, like he said. His bow tie was crooked, and there was a line of sweat on his forehead, you didn’t even want to know what he had gotten himself into at this point. You were used to Rafe and his ability to get into a fight with anyone and anything, after knowing him for so many years you just accepted it. 

“N’really,” you smirked, standing up on your heels, watching Rafe’s eyes dance along your body. It brought a sense of confidence out in you, the way his eyes did a second look then a third, before his tongue darted out and licked his bottom lip in anticipation. “I was too busy looking for you.”

“Yeah, me?” Rafe smirked,raising his brow and taking a step closer to you. “You wouldn’t even wait for me to walk in together.” 

“That’s what couples do, we’re not a couple.” 

Rafe closed the neverending gap between your bodies, his fingers brushing your bare shoulder and he slowly dragged his fingertips across your collarbone and up to your jaw. He watched you bite your bottom lip, his cock twitching at the sight of you there. “But we’re real good together.” He whispered, his lips ghosting over yours, his breath fawning across your face. “Plus, I love those heels.” He hummed, noticing the baby blue latch keeping them on your feet. “Very couple like.”

Your eyes fluttered shut, letting him seduce your body with just his lips and fingers. You hated how you gave into him so easily, but he had you trapped under this spell that you weren’t sure you ever wanted to escape from. Your mind wandered to the previous night that you shared together, your stomach erupting in butterflies that were reproducing rapidly. “Fuck me,” You whispered, opening your eyes and seeing the smug look on his face. 

“Here?” He asked, glancing around the empty corridor. 

Nodding eagerly, you eventually closed the aching gap, crashing your lips against his. He didn’t miss a beat, his hand cupping your jaw and moving his lips along with yours. It was intense, eager and sexually fueled. Rafe hoisted you up on his hips, groaning when your legs wrapped around his waist and he began walking in the direction men’s bathroom. He pulled away from you, placing you on the sink counter. You scanned the room, noting no one was here and Rafe immediately locked the entrance before connecting your lips together again.

Your hands fleeted through his gelled hair, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of it and pulling him closer. His own hands bunched your dress up at your hips, knowing this is going to have to be quick but he was going to enjoy every minute of it. You kissed down his jaw, your lips finding their way to his neck as you nibbled and sucked on one spot causing his moan to echo around the restroom. Your hands started to fiddle with his belt buckle, longing to release some of the built up energy. 

You dropped his slacks to the floor, lifting yourself up slightly to allow Rafe to pull your panties down to your ankles. Rafe whimpered when your hand pulled his already hard cock out of his boxers, pumping your hand up and down his length. You ran your finger over the tip, smudging the pre-cum he released. “Ugh, fuck.” He breathed out, pulling back from you to place his lips against yours. He hoisted you closer to him, having you at the edge of the counter and he lined himself up at your glistening core. 

“I don’t have a condom,” Rafe mumbled against your lips.

“It’s okay.” 

“You sure?” He asked, pulling back and looking you in the eye. The eye contact was intense, as if there was an unspoken bond between you. It made you gulp back a lump forming in your throat, and you only nodded, not trusting your voice. Rafe crashed his lips to yours again, and you gasped as you felt him enter you. As the shock dispersed, you moaned in pleasure, your head falling back. You left hand gripped the edge of the counter, your right hand slowly finding its way to Rafe’s shoulder. 

He thrusted in and out of you at a painfully slow pace, watching your chest rise and fall. “Oh, my god, Rafe, fuck me like last time.” You breathed out, the smirk grew on his face as his pace got faster, each thrust became harder and you were riding on cloud nine again. You were losing yourself in the moment; your heavy breaths, Rafe’s moaning, and your bodies smashing together were the sounds bouncing off the restroom’s walls. 

“Oh, shit, babygirl,” Rafe groaned, his thrusts becoming messy as he rested his forehead on your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around his body, bringing him closer. Your legs circled around his waist and he hoisted you up off the counter, shuffling along the floor to fuck you up against the wall. 

The sound of the door attempting to open caused Rafe to stop mid thrust, pulling away from you and eying the door. His eyes were ride, amusement swirling in his orbs as he placed a finger on your lips for you to be quiet. You tried to muffle the giggles that were threatening to escape, causing your stomach to tremble. You heard muffled voices outside the door, but Rafe turned his attention back solemnly to you, his thrusts starting up again. 

“Rafe-” You gasped, but he just placed his lips onto yours again, finding the perfect rhythm to bring you to your climax. The thought of someone walking in on you and catching you here with the Kook Prince excited you, allowing you to release even faster than the previous night. Your moans echoed, and you watched Rafe fuck you fast, his eyes were a deep blue now, the lust filling them. 

“You’re such a good girl cumming on me, baby.” He hummed, bringing his face closer to you and hiding his face again. 

“Nu-uh,” You protested, reaching for his throat and pulling him back so you could watch him cum inside you. 

“You like that, baby?” Rafe mumbled, making you nod. You wrapped your fingers around his throat, watching his eyes screwed shut as you tighten your grasp. His pace picked up, he held you close and smashed himself into you, your body banging against the wall. He groaned loudly, opening his eyes to connect with yours, his mouth gaping slightly. You could feel the twitching of his cock inside you, and he exhaled. The sweat was beading on his forehead, but he still looked as handsome as ever. 

Rafe let out down gentle, pulling his boxers and slacks up before going to get some toilet paper to let you clean yourself. He turned his back towards you, giving you an ounce of privacy and you bit your lip, not expecting such a gesture. “Thank you,” You mumbled, your voice soft and fragile. He hummed in response, and you told him he could turn around once you were happy with your appearance. 

You were shocked when he walked back over to you, brushing some of your hair out of your face and placing a soft kiss on your lips. You smiled up at him, reaching to fix his bow tie and patting his shoulders gently. “All good now.” 

He reached down to grasp your hand, pulling you behind him as he unlocked the door and scoped out the corridor before deeming it to be safe. Rafe looked over his shoulder, smirking at you and you let out a chuckle, shaking your head. When you returned to the party, the music was still playing and the dance floor was crowded with guests. Rafe handed you a glass of wine, grabbing one for himself and clicked your glasses together. 

“You ready to get shitfaced?” 

I’m just a sucker for my Rafe rn, honestly!

these are also literally just my fantasies oops

[yanderenightmare]

YANDERE ! SHINSO HITOSHI x FEM ! READER

goodiebag WARNINGS: dubcon/noncon themes, yandere, abuse, profanity, ableism, amnesia, animal abuse, anxiety, kidnapping, abduction, manipulation, mind control, stalking

CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT

He didn’t want it to be this way. 

Or… that’s a lie. He didn’t want to enjoy it being this way. He had to do it either way, but disliking it would make it slightly easier to forgive himself afterwards. Yet, he was enjoying himself, thoroughly at that. Looking into those large wax-like eyes, glossed over by some thick veil, no longer in her own control, but in his. No longer constantly distracted by the faintest noise or the mildest view or the most mellow smell accompanying the fucking breeze. Her attention undeniably and uninterruptedly set on him and only him. It felt better than what he had imagined, as though some war had been won; peaceful, right.

Yet wrong. It was wrong of him to take advantage of her trust, what more: it was wrong of him to enjoy it so devilishly as well. But how could he not? How could he resist taking pleasure in her utter submission, even if he’d forced it from her; looking at him so helplessly, hopelessly, no plead or hatred or fear evident in her defenseless features, just complete and pure vulnerability. 

Not that she was ever one for caution anyways. She was always so temptingly careless, reckless, ruthless, dangerous. Chaos in desperate need of control. She was always chasing some new type of death as though in love with the idea of her life being ripped away, in love with the idea of not having any control. He was granting her just that. Where she lacked the ability to control herself, he had no qualms in doing it for her. She couldn’t blame him when she was practically begging for it.

He was scared, he realized. Afraid of letting go now that he’d taken her, unsure of how to brace himself once he unclutched his claws from her mind. It was easier to simply stare into her orbs as she did him. Yet, he didn’t take her to feel safe. Quite the opposite. He took her to taste the chaos she provided. That unpredictable terrifying wilderness that seemed to swirl behind her eyes, the one he’d currently subdued. There was no way to prepare, he figured. No point in postponing the inevitable either.

Her eyes flickered, as though waking up from a nap, fluffy puffy soft-looking tail raising behind her, ears ruffling as though sensing she wasn’t where she was supposed to be before her mind reached the same sense of dread. Licking her lips as she’d been unable to for some time. Hands scrunching into the bedsheets, nails plunging through the thin fabric, knees retracting to her chest as her breathing picked up. Eyes locked onto him, recognition then confusion, then a newfound panic building and brewing and storming her senses all at once. 

“What did you do?” 

She sounded unsure, unbelieving of her words, half expecting there to be some logical explanation behind her situation, yet she couldn’t shake her insurmountable sense of dread. Eyes scanning and spiraling from the purple-haired man to the large bed she was placed on to the unknowingly locked door.

Without further thought, she leaped as though she had wings attached to her back, all granted by her cat-like mobility, and even as she realized the door was locked, she still pointlessly shook at the handle as though some saint would grant her wish and unlock it for her. 

She only stopped when she felt his hand touch something sensitive. His hand feeling so familiar in its distinct resolution, firm and purposeful and greedy, handling her extra limb, controlling the only reign she had in keeping control, keep her balance, keep her footing, now strangled inside his fist.

Her tail wormed in his grasp, bending and twining in discomfort, begging for her to whip around and plant those knife-sharp claws into his skin, dragging them, digging them, graveling along his arm, leaving an imprint of three blood-red streaks in their wake, a stark contrast to the softness of her tail-fur.

He hissed and let go, yet couldn’t blame a wild thing for acting on mere instinct, thinking that maybe relieving his control of her was a decision made on hope more so than on logic. His scarf coming to wrap and slither around her quite similar to how a boa constrictor would suffocate their victims. The tendrils lifting her up into the air, all with her thrashing, joined with all downtrodden panicked little yelps and screams which were second by overwhelming second becoming uncontrollable sobs the more and more the situation dawned on her, feeling herself be placed down on the bed again, which sparked the dreadful thought of what impending violation the following events might contain. However, despite the fat globs of tears that soon made passage down her face, drowning out her sight, she was in no shape or form subdued, and would most definitely not be handled without a fight.

The sheets were an easy target for her claws to shred into ruins as quickly as her body met with the soft surface of the mattress. Feather of pillow came flying shortly after, until the idea of ruining whatever bond was holding her in place even came into mind. Her hands finding the capture weapon, beginning to pull and scratch, but to no avail.

“Chess.” His voice managed to send chills shooting through her, now that she could remember each and every time she’d heard it but been made to forget afterwards. All those times he had pulled her tail, coaxed her into answering a question then made her forget the whole ordeal. All those times he’d come by to rub the softness of her furry ears like lucky charms, those times he’d twirl the plush bushiness of her tail around his fingers and hand, those times he’d kissed her, tested to see if her tongue was gravel in texture, and the moan he gave when finding how it was velvety and squishy like a regular human’s would be, maybe even more so.

Her caution rendered frail and pointless in the whirlwind of her panic. “Let me go!” It was half a sob and half a scream, soaked with panic, yet it made no difference to the heavy weight that soon feel upon her conscience. Her eyes growing wide and glossy and void like before, her body lying limp on the bed. Every nerve of her body; raped. The entire construct of her mind; abused, to the point where she felt the faulty cracks created like never-ending ravines made by the gaps in her memory, decisions she didn’t make, wasn’t allowed to make. 

It’s not something you think about… how easy it is for the strong to make the weak crawl, how easy it is for them to excuse themselves, forgive themselves, thank themselves.

His was a patronizing smile, sly in its crookedness. Thinking of how cute a little reckless and forgetful creature he had the liberty and luxury of finding, of having, taking, owning. “Curiosity really did kill the cat, didn’t it?” In her defense it hadn’t sounded like a question. In her defense it wasn’t even her real name, yet the new, or rather old, memories flooding her mind told her otherwise. “It would seem… Kitty’s on her last life.” A long pale finger dragged up her leg slowly, and although she wanted nothing more but to pull her leg to herself, she couldn’t even as much as look at the attacker from anywhere but the very edge of her peripheral, his control not allowing her an inch of mobility.

She realized she hadn’t known fear. She only knew of small fleeting moments where her heart would make a leap into her chest, the feeling of almost pleasant fluttering followed by that flush of relief that could feel like blessing or absolution at times. She used to think fear was something people needed every once in a while. A good little thrilling scare to keep the mundane at bay. But this, this crippling crawling creeping draining, as though there was a puncture somewhere and all her blood was leaking from her limbs and had the fine hairs of her skin raising like spires in a manor where she swore it hurt. And although the fear had her feeling light, as though she was nothing, made of glass or worse, she felt heavy, grounded, trapped. The command placed not in her mind, but on her chest like a two-ton brick.

Stray silent tears slipped past his control, but the act was just as meek and pointless as a whisper in the wind. “I have you wrapped around my pinky, but I promise…” She felt like shaking, like trembling, quaking like earth does in uproar, but her body remained engulfed in some false sense of calm. His knees dipped down into the mattress, and she’d never before wanted to whimper so badly, the sound stuck in her throat, choking her. Her breathing slow and reserved, her own lungs betraying her even as his finger made way to brush up the valley between her breasts over the satiny feel of her blouse. “I won’t do anything you won’t like.”

Hitoshi liked to think he’d learned how much to give and how much to take, when in reality the only thing Hitoshi had cultivated through his several years of struggle was the tenacity, the drive, the strength to take and take and take things when the world doesn’t serve him his desires on a silver platter.

[dr-passionate-production]

Tick... Tock...

The rhythmic sounds of a clock were eerily hypnotizing.. Its pace never seemed to stay consistent, bouncing between the realms of being a tad bit faster and a tad bit slower than usual. And, on the rare occasion, it stuttered; leaving a broken tick or an additional tock in its wake.

Tick.. Tock.. Tick.. Tock..

They had been there from the beginning. Even as they sat in total darkness, their aura announced their presence far clearer than they could have themselves. A hand in hand, a leg crossed over the other, they sat and stared into the abyss.

"I see you have returned."

The smile in their voice was prevalent. The warmth radiating from the short sentence similar to that of a loving mother, welcoming her child back into their home. The ticking of the clock waned, becoming nothing more than a faint sound in the winds at their feet. They rose, the simple touch of their toes against the floor bringing the only traces of light: the navy blue of the night sky, dotted by the white specks called stars. When their feet were pressed flat into the ground, clouds began to form, swarming around their invisible form.

"I see things have been.. Interesting.. On the other side. A lot better than before at least." They chuckled. Goodness how bad things had gotten all those months ago. An experience that was, for the both of you. But it will now only become a tale to tell and a memory to relive in your dreams. "But let's not dwell on that too long.. It's time for your dream."

From within the darkness an orb formed, held up for you to see. It was always a lottery, a game of chance that a nice dream would grace you that night. No matter how much different techniques or methods that supposedly increased your odds, it still seemed to be far out of your control and perhaps even out of theirs. You held your breath, hoping that this would be the nights rest you had been hoping for for what felt like ages. However, before the orb began to flash its pretty colors, it disappeared.

"Wait." They asked, their voice echoing into the void. "May I.. Ask you something?"

Without much of an answer, a box lit up, a pair of hands made of galaxies and clouds opening it up for you to see. 16 orbs similar to the one you saw every night. However, all but one seemed to had already begun; playing the dreams like a scene in a movie. The other, however, was lifeless. Filled with nothing but pitch black.

"These are the dreams of those kids.. That one class." They began, their hand reaching in to spin the arrangement to showcase what they had to offer. A night at a beach.. A fantasy world styled in that of an anime.. A film studio.. There were so many to choose from.

"This is going to be a long night for you, my friend. No matter what you choose, yours or one of theirs, you will sleep through your alarm." They sounded far too amused by that fact. "And while you can always take your chances of receiving a good dream of your own, I think you'd have a bit more fun seeing someone's dream. See what goes on in their head, you know?"

Their hands disappeared, leaving the box to float along with the dreams inside it, each orb glowing a color indicative to their respective student. It was an odd proposal to say the least. However it didn't look like the celestial being cared about what would happen if someone stepped into another's dream, if there even was any consequences. Was this a once in a lifetime chance? They could very well make that possible.. But did you trust them to make it anything else?

"So what will it be?" The Being asked. "Would you like to venture into their dream realm?"

This event can be an rp thread or just an ask box adventure. If the first then just rb this post from here.

[cotillion-the-rope]

Not a Sibling

I wanted to write a thing featuring Nosk for Halloween because Nosk is a spooky fellow. Initially I tried to write Ghost's encounter with Nosk but then I realized they probably wouldn't be all that scared, they're used to darkness and things attacking them. Then I was thinking about perhaps writing Hollow encountering Winged Nosk after getting lost in Deepnest somehow. But it just wasn't working, in part because it would have to be Hollow before being placed in the Void Egg due the fact that every scenario where they're freed from it involves the Radiance no longer being a thing. And then I remembered the vessel hanging in the background of Nosk's boss room and that's how this quite sad fic came to be. Happy Halloween though.

~

The darkness here wasn’t at all like the familiar darkness of the Abyss. The Abyss was quiet, filled with little more than Void and siblings. This place however, its darkness hid things. Things that skittered loudly all around and made other noises the vessel couldn’t identify.

Maybe escaping wasn’t worth it after all and they should return to the Abyss. Perhaps the reason everyone who’d left the Abyss never returned wasn’t because they’d found happiness out here somewhere but because something in this unfriendly foreign darkness had consumed them. Perhaps there was nothing but this and the Abyss. … No, couldn’t be; light and the beings that resided within it existed somewhere too. So if nothing else, there was at least one more place and if that was the case surely there was more, right?

Also, they’d gone far enough now that they doubted they could find the tunnel that would lead back to the Abyss. So they continued on, keeping one hand on the cave wall as a guide.

The going was slow. They’d already fallen into holes twice, thankfully taking little damage and neither hole was deep enough that they couldn’t clamber back out and continue trying to go uphill. But their luck wasn’t likely to hold so they crept along, feeling out each step before placing any weight down. They tried not to think about the skittering things. That was hard though when they were everywhere, occasionally even passing by close enough for the vessel to feel the wind of the passage or, even worse, the brush of their carapaces against their own. Just a quick brush, never long enough to get a feel for what their shape or true size might be.

They were about ready to lash out at the next thing that passed by so close when they turned a corner and were suddenly granted with the ability to see. They’d witnessed light a grand total of two times in however long their life had been. The first time had been when the Void’s Enemy had roared down at them and the Void had roared back, quickly pushing her light away. And the second time had been when the Door had opened and pure white light had shone down, promising freedom and life; many siblings had died trying to reach it. This light was nothing like either of those lights though. It was much dimmer and held no intention or promises.

The vessel rushed over to investigate its source. A small transparent orb with a nub and handle on top that lay on the ground next to a desiccated corpse. They’d never seen a being like that before but it was dead and they were much more interested in the light.

They picked it up for a better look. Tiny glowing bugs flew around inside it. A few were dead, lying unlit or barely so at the bottom. Despite that, it was pretty. The prettiest thing the vessel had ever seen. Oh, how much prettier would it be when it was full of glowing bugs, no dead ones? How much brighter? Perhaps if they were lucky, they’d get a chance to…

The corpse moved. With a horrible crackling sound, it sprouted legs, lifting itself up on wobbly limbs. The vessel sprang back, barely dodging its attempt to bite. Clutching the pretty light, they ran, going past it because no way were they backtracking. They almost paid for it as its leg caught on their cloak. Thankfully it ripped allowing them to go free. Which would’ve been great except for the fact it gave chase, skittering and clacking right behind them.

They didn’t dare look back, instead looking forward. The light helped a lot, saving them from running into walls or holes and they ran. The downside though was now they caught brief glimpses of the skittering things before they fled the light with hisses. Angering them probably wasn’t a good thing but the vessel had no real choice if they wanted to be able to see well enough to escape their pursuer.

It might not matter much though. They were quickly tiring. Their initial burst of speed had gained them some distance from the animated corpse husk but it was quickly dwindling, the clack of its limbs getting closer every second. Any second now its mouth would close on their…

The ground gave out beneath them, sending them tumbling through the air in a cloud of loose dirt and rocks. They clutched their light close even though it did nothing for them as they fell for what felt like forever. … What if they were falling back into the…

They landed hard but uninjured. What had once been the above tunnel’s flooring fell around them. Something much heavier landed behind them with a loud crunching splat. They jumped around lifting the light up.

The husk had been far less lucky than them. Not only had its heavier size made the faller harder for it, snapping one of its long thin legs, but also a hefty rock had landed squarely on it. It was still alive though, squirming and flailing, clacking its mandibles at the vessel in seeming frustration and mindless fury.

Not wanting to tempt fate, the vessel turned and ran as fast as their little legs could carry them, holding the light close to their body so it hopefully wouldn’t be visible past their body. They kept going at that pace until the sound of the husk’s struggles wasn’t even a distant echo anymore.

They sat to rest, leaning their back against the tunnel wall. Well that was one danger they’d survived. Without taking any real damage too, how lucky for them. How many more dangers and deadly creatures would they have to face before finding somewhere safe? Assuming a safe place even existed out here. … Regardless escaping the Abyss was worth risking the danger. Why exactly, they weren’t sure, but it didn’t matter much.

-

Unwilling to risk staying in one spot for too long they only rested until they’d recentered themself mentally before getting up and continuing on.

It was quieter and calmer down here. The skittering of unseen things could still heard but distantly. And nothing brushed past them or even into the edges of their dim little light. Nice but they’d fallen to get here, erasing much of their upwards progress. Meaning they’d have to ascend all that way again. Oh well, it had gotten them out of the husk’s mandibles and that was…

They skidded to a halt. Through their periphery, did they really just see… They back peddled a couple steps to look down the small side tunnel they’d just passed. A short distance down it, barely in range of their light, stood another vessel, staring at them. Awesome! Either a guide out of this wretched place or if nothing else a companion in finding an exit.

The vessel rushed towards them, eager for company and possibly some physical contact if the sibling was all right with that too. But the sibling rushed too, heading further down the tunnel. Leading the way out perhaps?

They hurried after them, barely managing to keep them in sight. Often they lost sight of them entirely but lucky there were few turns in the tunnel, making catching up to them quite easy. The sibling even stopped and waited for them every so often, never letting them get close though. Which was a bit odd but the vessel didn’t care, they wanted out of this horrible place as soon as possible.

Eventually the little tunnel opened up into a large cavern, too big for the light to reach its confines. A platform rose up in what was presumably the center. The sibling waited atop it. Upon reaching them, they didn’t turn and run as they’d ever time prior.

Instead… their neck snapped, twisting around and upside down with an awful cracking sound. Their… its formed shifted sprouting legs, larger than even the husk’s had been earlier. Not a sibling at all!

The vessel turned and ran. Only to smack into a thick webbing that had somehow stretched over the tunnel’s entrance. Before they could try to pull it off or decide to rush to find another exit something sharp pierced them from behind, pushing through their body and briefly pining them to the ground before withdrawing.

Form pierced, void oozed out of them as they fell forward, curling around the agony. Something pushed into their shell next, cracking it, allowing more void to leak out. It was too much, way too much. The pain was already starting to fade though as they lacked the strength and willpower to hold any part of their form together, the void making it dispersing instead.

They’d failed. Not surprising really but still disappointing. They weren’t even going to get a good view of their killer. But at least the little light bugs fluttering around in the clear ball lying on the ground directly in their line of sight was still the prettiest thing they’d ever seen. There were probably worse last sights. But still, if only they’d been able to…

[safrona-shadowsun]

A Yawning Absence

The Harvester walked across the mounds of scattered bone and armor littering the estate courtyard, noting the tattered remains of old Winter’s Veil decor in silence. In strewn piles, remains lay on the parlor stairs, where once the House of Final Respite would have welcomed and comforted the living when they most needed it. Windows shattered, doors unhinged and tables upturned, it was a haunted ruin that was comforting nothing. A war had come to the sanctum, to her Elysian Sojourn, and in the aftermath it had left behind a graveyard of second-hand death.

Safrona knew from the start it was silly to think any place could be called a Sanctum, that any physical location could be safe enough to call home. Her Circle of Perished had given her that much, had made her believe it for the handful of years they made it so. But even off the face of Azeroth and cloaked in the space between realms, it had all come to a brutal end.

What stung the most was the cold truth that she had not been there to help stop it. She had not been there when the First needed her most, and now he was lost. She had been thrown down into the Maw, a living bloodhound used for the hunt of another. There was little victory in her eventual escape, returning now too late to find what had grown precious to her scattered to the winds. It was some cruel turn of fate, some curse even, she thought. Some fitting fate for something living off of stolen lives, to never be able to build a foundation for her own. Or perhaps a child of the Void was meant to be alone, if it dared to serve a purpose other than its own?

She took a deep breath, pulling her mind from the webbed refuse of despondency, blame. She had found the Voice and the Ears, and this reunion even if only by voice had been everything. They kept some hope alive that the one that held her heart was not another body strewn across the estate. The First of the Perished had returned many times before. Why should this turn be his last? Not when a piece of her burned still, somewhere within him.

She continued walking down the ruined halls, further scattering the remnants of discarded bone. A shambler was found within, noisily responding to her own steps on an unsteady frame. The weak light that animated it faded all too quickly as she set her Voidwalker upon it, brittle bone smashed to dust. Beneath bone and ash, she eyed something gentle, a flicker of shadow, caught between the ruin. She reached to delicately pluck it - an intact orchid, its black, velvety petals reaching toward its centerpoint red, ebon bleeding inward to its hybridized burgundy.

The vision washed over her with sudden sight, and sound. The sound of coins rattling against bones, the clanging of blade against blade. " How much will this one fetch in Revendreth?" Words whispered and shuffled in the dark before being consumed in flame and shadows, vibrant green and a deep plum purple. Orbs of gold filled with silver shimmering wisps, seemingly carted along paths in crowded streets, following the rhythmic sounds of a heart beating. " I don't believe the containment field will withstand the flames the Hybrid is releasing."

“Hey!” the unattached voice shot like an alarm, the vision and previous memory quickly fading to deliver Safrona back to the current day, and time. The bone, metal coin her Soulsinger often carried was hot between her fingers. She could not recall how long she had stood behind the counter of Empyrean Star Trades, polishing it religiously with her thumb. “You got that new route established yet?” Wennefer Shadowsun asked quizzically. Setting her jaw, Safrona tilted her face up toward the younger Shadowsun, trying to make her fingers appear fully engaged with the paperwork before her.

“I...no. Which one of our couriers is this one going to again?”

“Madpass.” Wennefer approached, turned the first page of contract from Safrona’s fingers to view it herself. “I even wrote it all for you. Just needed your okay and the sign off. That one’s a little above her pay grade and into hostile territory but you know Ceyla likes her challenges. You’d officially be promoting her from Runner to the Courier title. I think she’s been dependable enough...but...” The young arcanist narrowed her eyes on her sister’s face introspectively. “You good?”

“Fine,” Safrona exhaled, quickly signing her name to the lines expected of her. “Madpass has my,” she chuckled witheringly at the unremarkable pun that came to mind, “pass.”

Wennefer finished the chuckle into something much more cheery. “She’ll be ecstatic. She’s been waiting for you forever to clear this. I have another prospective runner we need to interview for the Trade next week. But better than that, I managed to schedule us both a night off. We’re going to that Howling Owl place you were talking about the other night the next time they have an event. I think we both deserve something a little fun. It won’t be anything crazy, I promise.”

“Wenne.” Safrona stated the name plainly, intently. “I need to go back.”

“Back...what?” Wennefer put her fingers to her temple. “Flame take me now - are you talking about going back to the Shadowlands?”

“Yes. I need to find someone.”

Wennefer snapped as she gathered the papers away from the Warlock. “Are you joking right now? Isn’t this what they had you do last time? FIND someone? Who’s god’s damned contract are you taking THIS time, Saf? Huh? They trying to put you down into that shitty hole they call the Maw too?”

A hand was raised, both to calm the escalating questions, and to ascertain this was of her own design. “No, Wenne. Listen to me. It isn’t a damn contract. This is just….this is me.”

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” Both of the delicate mage’s hands were thrown into the air.

Truth was a hard bottle to open and pour for her sister, as it was for anyone not within her very personal circles. The attempt was made, however, that bearing. “I am missing someone, Wenne. Someone that slipped through the cracks when I was away. Someone that I don’t feel...right... being here. Being without.” She held Wennefer’s eyes. “Next to you, he is family to me.”

Blessedly, she saw the young mage calm, slowly, her features giving way to concern. “And you think he is out there? In the Shadowlands?”

“...I’m fairly certain of it now. And I don’t think it will be the Maw. It’s...elsewhere. I need to do my research.”

“Then you’re going to let me help you.”

“...wenne.”

“You know you aren’t going to talk me out of this.”

“I know. But again. I need you here. You did so well with the shop here. And you are a full Shadowsun now, with all my crediting. This is all in your hands as much as it’s in mine. If you want to help me, do it from here. Help me find what I’m looking for, build the routes where I am going, keep me on track.”

The arcanist nodded after a silent moment, seemingly pacified. “I can do that. But you need to promise me you’ll be answering me back to back on that Hearthstone channel. Because I WILL come after you if you don’t and drag you back here.”

Safrona smirked at the little spitfire as they came to their understanding. “That is fair. I will keep in contact. If not by Hearthstone then other ways. I am a courier after all.”

“Good, great. Because you’re a courier than needs to know that she has family here too. And we’re in this together.”

“Overdoing it on the sap there.”

“Deal with it, Saffy. We’re bringing it in for a hug now.”

“...Only because you’re my sister.”

“Awww.”

“Ugh why.”

{ @thefirstperished @nixyandrith @howlingowl-wra }

[aikoeisbon]

Haunting

Levi x Reader

TW: Self Harm

Therapeutic drabble. May be triggering to some, but it's how I help myself.

The sweltering heat of a midsummer's day had convinced a large amount of the survey corps to remain inside, and as a result, the stables were void of all people. You, on the other hand, had been scheduled to care for the horses on this particular day. You had discarded your jacket, opting to wear your undershirt as you worked to muck out stalls and feed the horses. As hot as it was, you figured your steed would appreciate a nice, cool bath, so you slipped her halter on and lead her down the long pathway of the stable towards it's rear, where the buckets and water were. You rolled up your sleeves as you began to fill the buckets, throwing sponges in there and allowing them to soak prior to lathering your horse with a bit of blandly-scented soap.

"Oi." A voice startled you as you snapped your head up towards the source of the noise. Levi was approaching your mare, hand outstretched for her nose while his eyes flickered down towards you. You heaved, carrying two buckets of water to beside your horse before shifting to return for the third, only to find Levi carrying it over with ease.

"Thanks. What brings you here?"

"I was looking for you. Hanji said you were on stall duty." Levi replied as you poured water onto the mare's back. He grimaced as she shook her coat, flinging specks of water onto his face.

"Did you need something?" You inquired as he wiped the droplets off his face with his forearm.

"Erwin wanted to speak with you." He stated in answer, watching as you began to scrub the mare with a sponge.

"The Commander?... Must be important then. I'll be finished in a bit. And here I was thinking you missed me." You raised your gaze up to meet his grey orbs and shot his a humorous smirk as you hunched over a bucket, rinsing the sponge and returning back to washing the animal. She dropped her damp head down, pushing Levi with it as she raised it against him, using him as a scratching post.

"Tch, cut that shit out." His brows furrowed, irritated with his now somewhat wet uniform with pieces of black fur here and there. He pushed her head away from him, in which she had responded with a low nicker. Levi moved beside you, reaching for a sponge to help out. As he went to stand straight again, his eyes picked up a bit of color from your arms. He trained his gaze on your flesh as you scrubbed away, his expression becoming flat as he identified the dull red stripes. The more closely he paid attention, the more lines he discovered- though these were white. Living in the underground, he was not blind to the fact people did this to themselves. Though as hard as things were for them, he still somewhat struggled to understand why. He understood being angry with yourself- even to the point of hating yourself or your situation so much you were suicidal. But to worsen your pain by making it physical? He could not wrap his head around that. From what he saw in the underground, whatever you were feeling or going through must have been as dismal and extreme as it would be in the underground. It caused him great concern, but his unenthused face did not reflect that. He simply narrowed his eyes, and shot his hand out for your arm.

"What?" You said almost defensively, startled by his sudden movement. It hadn't clicked what he was doing until you followed his line of sight, only then realizing your scars were in plain sight. You furrowed your brow, attempting to pull your arm back to your chest only to find it was secure in Levi's grip.

"Why?" He muttered, snatching your other arm in his iron grip as well. His chest tightened when he saw the same type of marks on that arm as well.

"Let go." You commanded, your voice quiet and low. His grip was unrelenting, his stare stern and serious. "Levi, let go!!!" You raised your voice, throwing your hands down in another attempt to free yourself from his grasp. He released you just as quickly as he grabbed you again, this time by your upper arm rather than your forearms. "Stop it!" You complained angrily as he led you to sit down. He noticed you wince as he grabbed you, and could only imagine why.

"Tch." He frowned. "Don't move." He ordered as he left you at a bench a near distance away. You watched him quickly finish bathing your horse, the fury in his eyes not at all wavering. The pit in your stomach was creeping up your throat. Would he find you disgusting now? Would he think you were too much to handle? Crazy? A risk? A liability? The anxiety you felt over those thoughts did nothing but intensify the longer this dragged on, until finally Levi walked past with your horse in tow. "Come on." He commanded, his voice still cold. You knew him better than anyone, you've seen what love looked like in his eyes, as well as malice, but this expression in his steel blue hues... You couldn't identify it. Maybe that is what scared you the most: The fear of the unknown. Perhaps Levi shared this fear too, which is why he felt this tense uneasiness. How long had you been doing this? How could he have missed this? Was there more you were doing he did not know about? Why wouldn't you come to him? Was it something... he did to cause this? As Levi locked the horse in the stall in front of him, you felt as though you were shrinking behind his back.

"Those could get infected." Is all he said before you grabbed your jacket and followed him back to headquarters, beelining for the infirmary. Levi was relieved to see it was empty, as he had plenty of things to ask you about. "Sit." He directed, pointing at a chair.

"Please don't tell the others about this." You pleaded quietly. His eyes and their ice-cold glare finally met yours.

"I'm more concerned with why you didn't tell me." He stated flatly as you removed your jacket once more, offering your arms out to him. His eyes traced over the red lines. Most were old, having healed completely and left nothing but white lined scars. Some seemed fresher, the scars still red- almost purple- and rather thick. The ones he was most worried with, were the dark red, thick lines that seemed days old. At the very least, none were still bleeding...

"It's embarrassing. It's none of your business, anyways..." You responded meekly as Levi cleaned your arms with antiseptic. They were closed enough to where you felt very mild pain, at worst.

"If someone punched you, it'd be my business. If you went missing, it'd be my business. If you got sick? My business. What makes you think this is any different?" Levi spat, leaving you in silence. He sighed. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong. Do you know what these say to me?" He questioned earnestly, his eyes flickering up to yours. You raised your brows in subtle inquisition. "They tell me you don't trust me enough to tell me what's on your mind. That I won't or can't help you, so instead you take it out on yourself. Thing is, you won't know if I can help you or not unless you give me a shot."

"I'm sorry..." Your words shook, tears welling in your eyes.

"...Am I doing something wrong?" Levi's question earned your attention, and for the first time, you saw the man you loved with a truly broken countenance plastered on his face, his pain pooling in his eyes. You reached out to him.

"No, no, no... Levi." You quaked, pulling him against you as you came to your knees out of the chair. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The guilt of doing this is half the reason why I do it. I feel so pathetic, like even if I spoke out, nobody would believe me. I didn't want anyone to think less of me, like I was crazy, or did this for attention, I-"

"You are crazy, brat." Levi muttered, raising an arm to run his fingers through your hair and keep you pressed against him as he supported himself with his other arm. You could hear in his voice he said that with a smirk. You chuckled under your breath.

"Crazy about you," you laughed. "but that's besides the point. I... wanted people to continue thinking I'm strong. Not some weirdo that succumbs to her problems like... this." You backed away from him, looking downcast at your own body. "There's so many things I wish were different about me." Levi listened intently.

"Doing this doesn't mean you aren't strong. Everyone has their own ways of coping, some are healthier than others. That doesn't mean I'm going to let you keep doing this." He watched you swallow, seemingly nervous beneath his intense gaze. "I don't know what's right or wrong when it comes to coping. I never have. But there's no way I'll stand by and watch the woman I love tear herself apart." You remained quiet, hanging to each of his words. He moved closer towards your face, sure he was making eye contact. "This is our problem now. If you feel like hurting yourself, we'll go spar. If that doesn't take your mind off it, I'll show you hurt. You need to focus when training anyways." You couldn't help but grin internally at Levi's tough-love methods of helping. "But you're done doing this. I can't believe I'm only noticing now."

"Well, there's a reason why I'll only sleep with you when the lights are out."

"...Erwin needs to see you. Remember this talk." Levi muttered as he picked himself off the floor, offering a hand out to you.

"Wouldn't forget it if I tried."

[kingseave]

King’s Eave - Chapter 4

TW: Death, monsters, fear, anxious tension, violence, vore, death, graphic violence

Eli awoke tasting iron, her throat sore from crying and screaming. Her eyes were blurry and stung horribly, and she winced as she blinked away blood. She struggled slightly, but found that she was unable to move her arms, and barely wriggle her torso. She was unsure if it was the unbearable pain in her sides or bonds that kept her immobile. She felt it might be the latter. 

When she came to enough to get a look at her surroundings, she wasn’t surprised to find herself in the belfry. This was Father Vigilus’s “nest”, where he kept a careful eye on his subjects from above. It was additionally his favorite place to take “guests” to have a “private chat with”, in which the guests were never seen again. Not even their bones were found. Eli shuttered at the thought as she took in the sight of one...two… three militiamen, none of whom she remembered the faces of. A tall, dark caped figure came up the stairs, who Eli did indeed recognize. Father Vigilus was a hawkish, severe looking man with large eye bags and had a permanent expression of a sneer plastered to his thin lips. In short, his appearance matches his horrid actions, making his body language sour and stiff. 

“Ah… just in time I see.” Father Vigilus said, flourishing his time piece in his hand, then clasping the thing closed and returning it under his cape.

Eli said nothing, simply staring at the man, seething with resentment.

“Oh my dear girl, it’s been too long since we’ve had such a heart to heart. Too long have you escaped the gaze of God.” He said threateningly, approaching her. “You will tell us your demonic knowledge, you wench, '' he yelled, slamming his hands on the table, forfeiting any niceties in exchange for intimidation. This did not phase Eli, who stared blankly at him with half-lidded eyes that seemed to be more interested in nonchalant resting than wasting any more precious time on looking at the man. Father Vigilus did not find this entertaining, and struck Eli across the face hard, throwing her body sideways slightly in the chair she was bound to. She gasped, gritting her teeth, side-eye glaring at the Father. A low growl emanated from her chest, and Father Vigilus smiled. 

“Did that give you a taste for what’s to come?” He asked icily, closing the gap between them. Eli growled aggressively, and spit in his face. The glob of mucus hit the man in the eye, and he dramatically rolled back, shouting. 

“You whore!” He roared, and punched her hard in the face. Her chair fell back, and before she could fall to the stone floor, the man grabbed her by her braids. Eli shrieked, tears pricking her eyes and welling until they fell and she sobbed. The Father pulled her up until her chair was level once again, and spun around, flicking the coattails of his cape as he moved. 

“I tire of our little game already, little miss Devil. Why don’t we bring in my little pet… he is much better at interrogation than I am. I think you’ll make quick friends.” He said menacingly, wiping his face with a handkerchief. 

“Bring the creature forth!” Vigilus said, shouting and gesturing vaguely at a small group of militiamen who stood in the entrance of the staircase. He strode over to the entrance, disappearing beneath the stone overhead briefly. Minutes passed and Eli gave herself pause to relax for a moment, she couldn’t wipe her face, so she allowed the wind to dry her tears for her. Her lip quivered as she remembered the distant, sad look her father gave her before his head rolled to the ground. Eli had a feeling that this would be her last memory before she’d be cut from life by her worst enemy. She was stirred from her moment of respite by the echoing sound of many separate footsteps, and following them, albeit slowly, the thumping of heavy, large footfall. Eli’s heart sunk into her chest as she remembered the stories Ysoba would tell her of the devils who dwelled in the basement of the church, and made a disturbing realization. The stories told that Church created monsters that were bound to the deep in the pits of the prisons beneath the chapel, and their claws were so long and spidery that any unfortunate prisoners issued cells closest to these wells were advised not to stay too close to the bars of their lockup, for these demons would snatch them from their beds when they were asleep. Some particularly traumatized inmates could recall the squelching and slurping that they could hear echo from deep within the pits that those very creatures made their homes. They were said to not be picky about what they ate, and would readily devour hundreds of rotting, plagued bodies when sickness spread. And now, Vigilus plans to bring one to the belfry to aid him in Eli’s interrogation, or possibly, her execution.

Vigilus walked up the stairs with more disgusting confidence in his step as he strode towards her. In his hand was a thick metal chain that snaked its way down the staircase. Two men with spears walked backwards slowly, pointing their weapons at a shadow that lumbered up the stone stairwell. Eli did not cower, but accepted that this would be her doom when said creature made its way to her. She swore she could hear the blood rushing to her ears as time flowed slowly past.

She gulped audibly as her eyes slid from Vigilus’s nasty smirk to the taloned fingers that clasped the stone. The claws of this monster were a glittering, void-black. The skin of the thing’s fingers almost matched them, and as its arms pulled the rest of its’ body forward, she could understand why the common folk called them demons. Its head pulled around the stone wall like a snake, it’s face somewhat humanoid but with a very wide, dragonic nose, it’s nostrils were narrow and somewhat vertical. Jet black feather-like fur started on the bridge of its nose and trailed up into a mane on its head that followed down its back, framed by two ridged horns. The skin of the creature was a mottled mix of a dusty burnt rose colour and a deep, gunmetal ash. It was heavily muscled, and its deeply striking amber eyes surrounded by red streaks of membrane glinted in the sunlight. The body of this beast was hulking and predatory in every right, the muscles in its back and arms rippled as it walked, and its teeth glittered pearly white as sunlight cast upon its face. The creature’s back legs were more animal-like, clawed at the tips like some sort of sick go at a lizard. It’s tail was thick and somewhat flat, and forked at the end like a snake’s tongue, but fading into a bluish lilac like a skink. What made Eli more sick than the ghastly sight of the beast was its sad, rippled and saggy stomach. It hung low in a starvation-riddle agony between its legs, the poor stretched out skin looking somewhat like a cat that was once pampered and now cast upon the street. It made Eli want to cry, and she wasn’t sure if it was in pity for the creature, or for pity for herself and where she might end up. That’s when she heard the dry, primal sound of the monster sniffing the air. She froze, and in the back of her mind, she felt compelled to smell the air too, as if summoned by some primal force she wasn’t used to. 

When she closed her eyes to inhale the air around her, the first tinge of information she received was the scent of old, metallic blood. The secondary scent that quickly overpowered the first was something she was shocked by. It smelled, to put it simply, like her. She could tell the beast was male, and that it hadn't eaten in possibly months. The rest of the scent was familiar, it reminded her of lonely sadness, of a campfire, and of coals whose origins were deeper than she could ever know. Her eyes brightened, and she finally made eye contact with the creature. He was already staring at her, his once-slitted, narrow eyes now rounded out like reflective, jet-coloured globes. They locked eyes for a few moments before Vigilus interrupted their silent communication with a tug of the creature’s chain. He seemed to let the Archbishop tug him around, even though he seemed perfectly capable of pushing back. The older man stood right in front of Eli, and bared his teeth in a sinister smile. 

“You will talk, or I’ll get our friend here to take off an arm or maybe a leg” he said, his voice close, and barely above a whisper. Eli looked from Vigilus to the creature, the corner of her lip twitching as she made lingering eye contact with those piercing yellow orbs. 

“Fine! I’ll tell you…” Eli said, faking exasperation and dread. “We Infernal hate…” she said, making a sour expression. The Father learned in. “We cannot eat or touch…” she fake gagged. “-Citrus.” She said with as much disgust as she could act out, and gagged again. She didn’t think her poor acting could convince the devout man, but his grin widened, and she was pleased to see that he was a sucker for it. She thought him a man of some level of intellect, but she must’ve been mistaken. She made quick eye contact with the chained monster, who seemed to be bemused, his brow raised slightly. His lips were curled slightly at the edges, the tips of his teeth poking out. He seemed amused at her attempt to trick Vigilus, or possibly more amused at Father Vigilus’ idiocy.

Father Vigilus noticed his “pet’s” reaction to the mentioning of citrus, and turned to look at the creature. The beast wrinkled his nose in faux disgust, shrinking down and attempting to look as tame and terrified as a gigantic abomination could. 

“Ah… seems that we should reconsider our use of silver salts in our practice” he said, turning to the leashed creature. Eli couldn’t hide her small smile, and she glanced playfully at the monster before her, flicking her dilated pupils first to him, then to the archbishop. Father Vigilus noticed the eye contact the two made, and yanked at the chain bound beast. This time, the creature did not allow the archbishop to push him around. The monster raised his massive head, pulling the Father up into the air for the excess chain was wrapped around the man’s gangly fingers. The devout man whimpered in what seemed like offense, as well as fear. The soldiers flocked the creature, ready to stab and slash at the archbishops' word. “Put me down, you vile demon, I command it!” He yelled, flailing. The beast’s tail simply flicked away the pikemen, who screamed as they fell from the tower and landed with a sickening crunch a second later. The motion seemed so easy and effortless to this being, and Eli watched in shock and disbelief as the beast walked the tied up man to the edge of the belfry where he allowed Father Vigilus to dangle a few feet over the edge. “God have mercy, let go of me!” The man shrieked as he tumbled slightly down the length of the chain. The monster put a clawed hand down hard on the chain that trailed down his neck that the archbishop’s grasp, roughly pulling the Father up a few feet. The demon’s brow quirked up in questioning. “Let… go of you?” The creature asked, his voice so incredibly deep it didn’t sound like a voice that could be possessed by a mortal being. It was rich, and the timbre of it was dark and swirled around Eli’s ears. She flushed immediately at the wicked tone of his threat, as well as the complexity of his unusual voice. The archbishop laughed nervously, then frowned. 

“Yes! You will let go of me this instant and if I won't punish you as severely, beast.” He said, panting.

“As you wish.” The creature said, his eyes shining at Eli in a mischievous yet dark way. He allowed the chain to slip from his claws, sending the man barreling down the building side while he clutched the metal for dear life. “Ah! Please just help me! I’ll provide options for you!” Vigilus said, sobbing hysterically.

“How about I give you two options?” The creature said, his tone smooth and deeply terrifying.

“Yes! Whatever you want!” Vigilus cried, his feet flailing pointlessly. The monster seemed to consider this, and thought for a moment before speaking.

“How about this? I let you fall and we see if you survive, or I let you up and you experience something worse than death. Your choice.” He said calmly yet maliciously. The Father cried out, completely ignoring the second part of the ‘choice.’

“Yes! Let me up. I’ll give you anything, no more chains!” He shrieked.

“You want up? You don’t want to plummet to your death?” The creature inquired wisely.

“No! Just let me up you monster!” Vigilus retorted.

The creature pulled the chain up, and dangled the gasping little man in front of him, and lowered Vigilus to meet his gaze.

“You have poked and prodded me for the last time.” The demon said lowly, his voice the hint of distant thunder before a great storm. The beast raised the dangling man above his face, and opened his jaws impossibly wide. 

Eli watched with awe as the archbishop became silent as he slid down the throat of the great creature before her. There was no blood, no gore, only the light, slick sound of the dean being readily devoured by his “pet”. Drool fell off the jaws of the creature as he lowered his head slightly, ropes of saliva pooling to the stone floor. Eli watched in amazement as the throat of the creature expanded easily to allow the priest to pass through wholly unharmed. The chain fell to the floor, no longer any hands to grasp it. The creature’s golden half-lidded eyes made contact with Eli’s while he swallowed, and the tiefling girl to his surprise, did not look away. The demon put a clawed hand to his throat and guided his meal down his chest, and groaned as the once languid flesh of his belly filled out with the weight of the live meal. Vigilus squirmed in the creature’s gut rather violently, punching and kicking to be let out after he had realized what was happening. Eli gawked at the creature, her brain trying to make sense of the scene she just witnessed. Dusk had descended upon the kingdom, and it made the beast look all the more camouflaged against the stone and moss of the buildings behind them. 

Eli looked from the beast’s undulating and heavy belly, to the thing’s eyes that were focused softly on her. He approached her calmly, his stomach jiggling as he walked, and stopped his face inches from Eli’s own. Eli broke the silence, her voice meek.

“You sure did a number on him.” She said shyly, not sure if she should be more disturbed at her nonchalant reaction to the situation, or more afraid of this man-eating beast’s proximity to her. He closed the gap, and touched his horns to hers, in a strange, affectionate gesture. She had never come in contact with a beast so much like herself, and the action set her mind into reality. 

[secret-engima]

Last one! - the future’s blurry (but the past is a trap)

Time-Travel fic!!!!! Hmmmm- what fandom what fandom so many lovely choices....

FFXV. Because that’s my mood right now (as ever).

COR.

Cor Time-Travel fic. Cor who lives to see the end of the Long Night, Cor who HOPES and dreams of helping Noctis rebuild the kingdom after he restores the dawn, Cor who is Noctis’s godfather, Cor who PROMISED Regis the first time he held the tiny sleeping infant that is now a brave and wise king that he would PROTECT Regis’s son-.

Cor who stumbles into the throne room to see three brothers sobbing over the lifeless body of their fourth and king.

And Cor ... Cor breaks. He hides in some random, rundown apartment in the empty city and drinks and drinks-

“So this is how you’re going to accept fate? By drowning yourself in a bottle?” Scorns a voice he’s only heard one time in his life but still sends him scrambling for his sword. He whirls, heart in his mouth, blade in hand and sees not a towering suit of armor with glittering eyes, but a ghostly version of a fire-eyed twenty-something adult. A towering man of nearly seven feet, board shouldered and scarred on one side of his face, dark brown hair and piercing amber eyes that mark the Amicitia line, “I had hoped for better.”

“Gilgamesh,” Cor rasps and wonders if he’s lost his mind in his grief, “What are you doing here?”

“Well,” says the man with a sneer, “I should be moving on to the afterlife. I have been freed from my prison after all. The Prophecy is fulfilled.”

“Then why haven’t you?”

A pause, and the sneer, the confidence, fades away and leaves behind someone very tired and wrung out, “Because I have regrets, and you are the only one still alive for me to speak of them to. The Last Shield will not listen, he is lost in his grief and surrounded by the living. You are alone and you are open to my voice.”

Cor doesn’t like the sound of that at all, “You are not allowed to possess me.”

Gilgamesh laughs, short and sharp but oddly genuine, more animated than he ever was as a murderous suit of armor, “No. I have no desire for that.” Burning gold eyes lock with his, “I wanted to know if you still meant what you said that day.”

It takes Cor a minute to remember. Even if he knows what “that day” Gilgamesh means, it was years ago and he was an idiot at the time. Then Cor remembers, and his already broken mood sours, “I did. For whatever good it did. I’ve failed. They’re dead. Both of them.” Cor laughs and the sound is poison even to his own ears, “You were right. I am no Shield.”

“No. You are a Sword,” Gilgamesh corrects, “and you should have been treated as such. Instead you were sheltered and lied to, and those lies dulled your edge until you were useless to stop the death of those you cherished.”

Cor throws the bottle at the ghost’s head, listens to the shatter of glass as the ghost lets it phase right through him without a blink, “What do you want?” He roars at the ghost, fragments of his wild temper from his youth coming back to his bones.

“What my brother’s dear Shield is trying to say,” purrs another ghost that Cor hates even more, who also doesn’t blink when Cor draws his blade and tries to behead him, “is that we both feel terribly guilty. More than that, the rest of those who once were in the Ring feel guilty, and angry. We’ve also got a very spiteful and a very remorseful Astral respectively on our side in the matter, now all we need is a living human member of the conspiracy.” Ardyn Lucis Caelum, blue eyed and purified and just as dangerously mischievous as ever, grins at Cor as the human forms of Shiva and Ifrit manifest in his apartment, alongside far too many royal ghosts for Cor’s comfort (he firmly does not look at the ghost of Regis, sagging tiredly in a corner, the only one he recognizes other than Mors now that they are all human looking rather than giant statues with face masks).

“So,” The ghost of Ardyn purrs with a rueful smile, “what do you say to saving the world and your precious kings in one fell swoop and maybe spiting the Draconian along the way?”

And it’s a stupid idea. Cor probably isn’t even seeing any of this. He’s probably lying in the apartment, dying of alcohol poisoning and grief right now, hallucinating all of this as he goes. But if he isn’t.

If he isn’t...

“What do you need me to do?”

Their plan is simple on their end, and painful on Cor’s. They grab him and throw him back through time, drag him with them as one by one they use up the last of their magic and finally vanish, because for all Cor calls them ghosts, they are not. Living souls do not linger after they die, but memories can. Memories given shape and form by magic, and when that magic was used up and given away, the memories are shattered, turned back into the formless nothing they really were.

They carve open Cor’s being and pour their magic into it, Gilgamesh at the fore, leading the way through the howling abyss while each king and queen carves Cor open a little more and pours in the magic keeping him alive and sane as he plummets through time. Regis’s touch lingers longer than the others, a breath of apology on his brow before that memory too, shatters and falls away.

Mors’ fingers wrap around his wrist and Cor struggles for the first time as his blood burns under the king’s touch in a way the others had not, “Hold still,” snarls the man coolly, “I do this as a favor for my son and grandson alone. Hold still and let me work or you will die the moment you reach our destination.” Cor stills and his blood burns until Mors too shatters.

Then it is only Gilgamesh, Cor ... and Ardyn.

“Free me,” he whispers as he presses something into Cor’s hands (or maybe into Cor’s soul, it’s hard to tell where reality ended and magic began in this place), “Find my past self and free me, then give me this.” A chuckle, “Let’s see the Empire grow so strong without it’s Accursed to feed from.”

“What about Prompto?” Cor asks desperately, because he is here to save those he cares about, not condemn the man who was like a son to him to nonexistence.

“Have a little faith,” laughs the former Chancellor, “a King needs his Heart, and Noctis will have his. Now,” hands on his shoulders, a final yank from Gilgamesh, “Go.”

Cor wakes up.

He promptly rolls over and vomits onto the stone.

Gilgamesh, a towering suit of armor once more, watches him gasp and wheeze and shake under the too-sharp sensation of magic living in his veins and reality existing again after so much time falling through time and void without comment. When Cor is done and has staggered upright, Gilgamesh hands him a sword.

Cor leaves the Tempering Grounds unbothered by the things that lurk there and makes straight for the Rock of Ravatogh. He gains the waiting Infernian’s Blessing, then collapses in a caravan for the night after several days and nights spent walking without pause and sleeping on cold Havens without so much as a blanket.

After waking up and showering, he spends a good twenty minutes the next day cursing at a mirror.

He’s fifteen again. He’s fifteen years old when in the original timeline he would have been six (is six, somewhere out there the original Cor Leonis still lives and grows, unaware of an altered future counterpart).

He’s also not Cor anymore. His eyes are the same, icy blue and angry, his face shape is very similar-. His hair is not. His hair is black and thick and wavy, and under his skin, magic coils, deep and effortless and his, not a gift from another.

Those blasted ghosts turned him into a Lucis Caelum.

He thinks of Mors’ cold fingers on his wrist and burning in his blood, Mors’ angry demand he stay still if he wanted to “survive the destination” and swears louder.

Then he picks up his sword and disappears into the wilderness again. Let Shiva come find him. She had a talent for finding Lucis Caelums anyway.

She finds him in the Quay, as Cor steals a boat to make for Angelgard, she Blesses him and disappears, and in her wake is a winter mist that shields Cor’s journey to the isle from prying eyes.

He cracks open the prison with the magic he now has in excess, falters at the sight before him.

Ardyn looks a lot less like evil incarnate and more like a shivering, frightened, half-starved cat this way.

Also who hung up their prisoners on MEATHOOKS like some kind of slasher from a horror film?

Overdramatic Lucis Caelums, that’s who.

Cor hauls Ardyn down from his chains and carries the weak, disorientated Accursed outside. He can hear Ramuh stirring in the clouds as he takes the nameless Thing that Ardyn of the future gave him (magic, pure magic, an orb of it as bright as gold and the dawn) and crushes it against this Ardyn’s chest like he would a potion.

He sidesteps the black bile Ardyn heaves up like a drowning man ejecting water from his lungs, writhing and whimpering on the stone as Scourge smoke recoils off his body like it’s trying to escape, only to be burned clear by golden magic. Well. That was convenient. Pity he doesn’t have enough of those to cure the whole planet.

Ardyn stays silent, dazed and wide-eyed as Cor hauls him back to the mainland, steals some proper clothes and then bundles him in a caravan for the night. The man out of time flinches at every modern amenity, stares at the soup Cor roughly puts in front of him with confused eyes. Finally, tentatively, as if afraid of being struck (and that shouldn’t make Cor angry, it shouldn’t, this man killed both Cor’s kings and threw the world into darkness. He deserved whatever fear he felt, yet looking at him now Cor can feel nothing but pity and anger on the man’s behalf) he speaks, “Who ... who are you? You ... you healed me. I ... do not understand.”

And Cor pauses, because he ... isn’t Cor now is he? There is already a young Cor Leonis out there somewhere, and no one can know that Cor is one and the same person as that youth.

In the end he shrugs, “I don’t have a name.”

“...What?”

“I don’t have a name. I gave it up. It was the price for healing you.”

“Then why,” Ardyn asks incredulously, “did you heal me? I am a stranger to you, a monster.”

Cor scoffed. The Chancellor of his time was a monster. This man? This man was about as monstrous as a starving kitten, “Not anymore you’re not, so stop that.” At the sight of Ardyn’s frown, Cor rolls his eyes and says gruffly, “If it bothers you so much, give me a new one.”

Ardyn gapes, “You ... want me to name you. Just like that.”

“Is that a problem?”

The redhead stays speechless for a while and Cor busies himself polishing his sword and ignoring the fact that he’s now distantly RELATED to this man (and also, if he doesn’t miss his timeline, OLDER than Regis by several years. Thanks a lot Kings of Yore).

“Glaucus.” Cor twitched and looked up sharply, Ardyn shrank in his seat a little, “You don’t like it?”

It sounds too much like Glauca. But he couldn’t say that, and it was better than lots of other names Ardyn could have come up with. Even if he had no idea where Ardyn had come up with that name. Cor forced his shoulders to relax and went back to caring for his blade, “Do as you please.”

“Glaucus,” repeated Ardyn softly and Cor- Glaucus, resigned himself to having a name very similar to that of a traitor and imperial experiment.

Kind of fitting, considering the company he was keeping.

Glaucus set his sword aside and gestured toward the bed, “If you’re done eating, go get some proper sleep. We’ll be leaving once you wake up.”

“Where will we be going?”

Glaucus smirked and knew it was not a nice expression, “A place called the Tempering Grounds. There’s someone who owes you an apology.”

(anyway hi yes I have a new AU to keep. In it “Glaucus” is now an LC, specifically and according to blood test MORS’ kid and he’s about 4 years older than Regis. I shall expand on this new AU another time. Tagging @sparklecryptid @hamelin-born @a-world-in-grey @ean-sovukau @ertrunkenerwassergeist behold my newest insanity).

[exodusmc]

Outsider final

Genre: Power au, war au, rebel au

Words: 3106

Paring: Light manipulator Baekhyun  x  Lieutenant Reader

Side character/s: Yixing

Warning!: Shooting people, mentions of needles, fighting, choking, talk about death, getting hit by a bullet, expolsions, none grafic death of many, hinting to deaths.

a/n: Oh, what a twist!.. probably not but anyway hope everyone enjoyed outsider and is excited for insider. :)

Gif is not mine

Previous    Insider

The morning was cold and grey, clouds filling the sky and hid the sun. It seemed as the world was quieter than it used to be, the few birds who had sung gone. You stared outside for a long time, listening for a sound but nothing came, like the animals knew something you didn’t, like they knew about a disaster so they  ran when they could.

A soft wind made the old curtains move around your window, rustling the letters laying on your desk, reminding you of what you should do, what you served. A night of empty sleep made you cold and level headed. Your emotions had gotten the best of you for a too long time, had you thinking irrational. You had even gone so long to make a fire where your reports would brun and never reach the higher ups, where they would become your defiance. But now were you back,  thinking like you should, not thinking at all, and the letters would be sent with your signature. 

“Send these to the North Halls base. It’s highly classified..”the soldier nodded, doing the republican greeting, before disappearing, his hands carrying  your reality.

-

He felt weak, body shuddering everytime his eyes found the needles in his skin, but the room rarely became dark. Baekhyun exhaled, it still hurt and he could feel the light lingering in his bones, sparkling and waiting to explode. He never learned to control the powers, only used enough to light up a small room, so now when he had opened the channels for the engry, was it hard to hold it back. It made him wonder about others like him, how they managed with the coaxing feeling of letting go, but he had no one to ask, he was alone.

“Good morning Baekhyun, slept well?”Yixing smiled as he wrote on a paper board, checking stats and other things Baekhyun didn't really understand.

A small nod made his black hair bounce, ruffling down on his forehead, the longest part reaching down his eyelashes. The doctor stood close, a little stiff but put together. Baekhyun soon saw the green pin in Yixing’s hands, softly landing on the sheets covering his legs.

“That’s good to hear..Oh and your vitals seems to have become normal, so you don't need the Iv anymore..”Dr Zhang was always gentile but it didn't stop Baekhyun’s heart from racing as fingers reach for his hand. 

The needle was pulled out, his skin tingling, the room falling into complete silence as all machines were turned off. 

“It’s good that your health is on track again..”Baekhyun tensed at Yixing’s words, eyes locking so he would understand what was coming marching with a green flag.”..because time is ticking..”

-

Stars shone bright in the sky, the cloudy day having turned into an open vault of dark blue. You stared at it, surrounded by tall trees. Somewhere not too long away was the hospital humming but you were in the darkness, book and gun in your hands. All you had thought of, all the confused words on the lines glared back at you, while the weapon felt heavy. You thought of burning your book, wanted to get rid of what it stood for however, as you stared at the republic’s gun, were you once again unsure of what was right. Never before had you been thinking of what was right, only taken orders, but here where you alone, no one to tell you what was right and what was a lie. An exhausted sigh broke through your lips, the red embroidered mark piercing your skin though the shirt. This wasn't what you wanted but you didn't know what you wanted. 

And then, was there a gunshot echoing through the world, alone and bone shaking. You tensed, staring back at the direction of the hospital as one shot became 100 and screams flew in the air. It sent you running, brain focusing on only doing your work, take out the threat. Your gaze turned empty, body doing the familiar movements of sprinting and pointing the gun. 

The hospital lit up, soldiers you recognized and  didn't swarmed the place. You raised your gun, searching for red with squinted eyes. Someone roared out of anger and someone fell down while sirens started howling in pain. It was all too familiar, all like the missions which only ended in death., but you didn't care, couldn't care. So you aimed at the boy jumping to hit a guard, the bullet piercing his arm, his scream ripping through lungs. You didn't shoot him where he could die and it was ridiculous how it was exactly where you wanted it to hit. Anger rose at your weakness however, left him be as you ran into the chaos that was the hospital. One thing in mind and that was finding dr Zhang.

-

Baekhyun had been resting against the soft white pillow when he heard a sound, something close to a bullet ricocheting. He tensed, pin biting his fingertips. Yixing had warned him but it was night now, a time meant for quiet and peace. The hospital filled with screams and a red light dimmed the whole room. Shouts muffled outside his door but all he could hear was rebels. They were here now and it meant Baekhyun was supposed to move. He stumbled slightly, sweat forming with every beat of his heart. The only thing he had to do was find Yixing and everything would be fine, he would be fine, sentence repeated every second so he would have a panic attack.

The corriods were empty of people but echoing with screams, all the patients locked inside white boxes. He couldn't care about them now, blue pills forming in your hands behind his closed eyes. They were already dead, seen as a pest which should be eliminated. Everything made him sick to his stomach and he hated himself for feeling so relieved by the green pin clinging to his clothes, a sign of survival, a sign of leaving them behind. 

Baekhyun tried to focus as he ran through the labyrinth of walls which used to be white but blinked red now. He started to feel like crap, everything becoming one mix of colors, and there was no longer any sound of life, only a hum. Until the smacking of boots reaching his numbing ears, the barrel of a gun forcing his orbs to stop moving. Green shone on the jacket of the rebel, his dark brown hair pushed over his eyes. Plump lips pulled into a thin line and suddenly was the boy standing closer to Baekhyun. Sweat dropped down his spine, heart drumming in his ears.

“Get down!”Baekhyun took a breath, eyes slowly opening and closing before his fingers dragged over the pin, his whole body shaking. Time had stopped but the gun was put down, resting by the boy’s side.”You need to get out…”

Baekhyun swallowed, nodding ever so slightly. There was a small twitch on the other man’s lips and then was he gone, like he hadn't been standing before Baekhyun just a second ago. Now was he alone again, trembling so much he almost dropped the pin. Find Yixing, find Yixing...All he has to do is find Yixing but it was hard when nothing wanted to move. Baekhyun was paralyzed, rooted to the concrete. His thoughts were running but his body was left behind, all he could feel was death.

“Baekhyun!” his heart stopped when a hand fell on his shoulder, forcing him to take a breath and fall back into where he was, the faint sound of sirens and screams.”Baekhyun!”

“..Yixing..”the doctor was bleeding from his eyebrow, the red liquid deeper in the light. He didn't have his coat either, making Baekhyun confused.

“Yes, we need to get out!”Dr Zhang grabbed the zoning boy, pulled him along the white walls which he had walked for so long, the walls which would burn and be the grave to people he wished he could save. 

“Not so fast!” there was a click of a gun and the Lieutenant behind it. Baekhyun tensed as his eyes found yours, the void in them like the first time he saw you. Yixing was stiff by his side, sweat gliding down his neck, giving the illusion of blood. 

“Y/n please listen to me..” Yixing let go of Baekhyun’s wrist, holding his hands up as he pleaded to you, tried to make you see what he had seen. He didn't want to leave you because he was sure no one would survive. 

“No! Stay back”your voice rose, fingers getting clammy around the trigger. Just shoot him, shoot him and get rid of a problem. Do it! Do it!Do it!

“Don't do it…”Yixing was scared but he had to be calm or he wouldn't walk away alive, neither would you or Baekhyun. “..They have lied to you your whole life…”

He saw how your eyes hardened, the slight widening of your iris. Yixing struck a nerve, brought back all your doubt, but he was a part of the rebels, he was an unnatural. Baekhyun got more nervous the more time which went, he couldn't help it when he started to fidget with the pin, gaze darting around as if he waited for soldiers to crash through every wall.

“They never told you the truth about your parents...They killed them because they were born with power…”it can't be true, he’s lying. Your parents were killed by the unnatural, they weren't a part of them. Yixing is lying like he had been as long as you have known him.”I’m telling the truth..”

The doctor reached behind him, fliching ever so slightly when you raised the gun again, but you let him grab the report, you let him throw it to you. Baekhyun had turned from the two of you until he heard the thud of papers falling. 

“That’s you parents...They were killed by the republic..”in your hand were different pictures of your parents, some they smiled in, some were just identification and a few were you in.” They fought for a better future but they died and left you in the claws of inhuman humans…”

It wasn't a dream, the guns had been real, the closet, the last time you saw the woman you called mom. It happened, it wasn't something your brain made up. Tears formed in your eyes, crawled down your face as you stared at two faces of your parents. They were dead but before had you never really had any image of them, only the void they left, the void the republic filled. 

“It can't be true…”

“But it is...I’m sorry…”Baekhyun backed away fast when you pushed down Yixing, forcing the gun against his forehead. You were furious, angry to the point of seeing nothing but the crying child so many years ago, the lives you had taken because they told you to. They used you and he knew, Yixing knew all the time. 

”Why didn't you tell me! You lied!”the gun dropped from your hand, slided on the floor until it landed by Baekhyun’s foot, but you didn't notice, instead were you focused on grabbing Yixing’s throat, squeezing.”You lied like them!”

He couldn't breathe, shaking just like you. The doctor tried to calm you, tired to get his power to stop your racing heart but nothing worked, nothing...Baekhyun pressed the gun to the back of your head, trembling while he couldn't hear anything but the sound of flies. You were killing Yixing and he had to stop you but could he really shot you? Tears rolled down your cheeks, the sight of Yixing laying under you slowly forming before your clearing eyes. Baekhyun pressed the gun harder, watched as you let go of the doctor’s throat but no sign of fear was coming of you. The rustling of Yixing trying to catch his breath made Baekhyun push you of him, helping the older up while you crawled to your parents, contemplating if you should join them, if you had the right to join them. 

The doctor made Baekhyun lower his hand, shaking his head no even if his eyes were red rimmed. They moved closer to you and that’s when Baekhyun saw the man who had helped him all those years ago. It was your father who saved him and the face was no longer a blurr, instead a man with your eyes.

“You can come with us...Help the people and make a change...I know you can be more than what the republic made you to..”Yixing hetasied for a second, his hand just over your shoulder, but he let it fall, feeling the warmth you radiated. You were human, he believed you would be important in this war, he believed you could change the world.”..but we have to move now…”

Just as he finished was there an exploration which shook the ground. The sirens no longer sounded, everything became so quiet like the world stopped. Yixing turned around fast, staring deeply into the dark corridor he and Baekhyun came from. He needs to move now or else will there be nothing left of you but ashes. 

“We really need to go now!”Baekhyun dropped the gun, feeling the needles pinch his skin again. Panic never seemed to leave him, always lurking under his mind, waiting to force him down. Yixing rushed towards you, pushing every paper and picture into the folder, dragging your parents form you once again.”Please come with us Y/n...please…”

You wanted to see him dead, you wanted to see Baekhyun dead, you wanted them all dead, because you didn't know what was right anymore, you didn't know what was the truth. Another explosion sounded, closer this time, and heat started to travel the corridor you had walked so many times. You could smell smoke, you could feel your fingers. If you stayed on the ground, would you never again see the outside, but did you deserve to leave after all you had done? Glancing at Baekhyun. you realized that he had gone pale, looking like he wasn't really there, and to his side was your gun. You could take it, kill them both and you yourself but you had done that your whole life, you had killed the unnatural you parents was a part of.

Rising to your feet, you grabbed the gun and turned to the front. In the end of this corridor would the outside lay, safety, so you ran with your heart in your throat. Yixing managed to grab Baekhyun and follow you, his lips twitching slightly to a smile. 

The closer you got to the outside, the more screams could you hear, sounds of misery and agony falling into a song which turned blood cold. Right in front of the door was two soldiers standing, red on their arms, red stains on their boots. They were republican, they were the ones who you shared a side with but not now. The men looked at you with wide eyes, like they couldn't believe the gun pointing at them.

“Lieutenant Shin?!”taking a breath, you decided that you weren't a Lieutenant, you were you. The forever resting symbol on your arm weren't yours anymore, it was owned by an empty shell, a fired weapons number. 

Firing two rounds, both men fell to the ground. You shot them in their legs, disarming them long enough to take their guns.The doors opened to a memory of yours, a battlefield with bodies and ammunition, with soldiers and grey grass. Baekhyun almost threw up at the scent of everything, the rotting death mixing with blood and gunpowder. It wasn't a pretty sight, it was a realisation of what war was, something which crushed the peace of the everlasting natur. 

The forest was where you wanted to go, the forest was safe enough, and as you glanced around could you see tanks start to move. It was too open here, set you into a panic like state. Baekhyun felt the same, never been trained to handle situations like these. 

“We need to get away from the hospital, they are going to blow it up!”Yixing grabbed your arm, forcing you to start running again. 

You managed to dodge a bullet flying for your head, seedning your own at the person's arm. Hell had broken out around you, chasing you like they prey you turned to. Yixing held Baekhyun as all of you ran across the field, racing your own hearts as time ticked. Just get to the trees, it was all you could think of as you fired bullets at everything which moved. Just a little more...but a loud scream made you stop. 

Baekhyun fell to the ground with Yixing over him. Red dropped down the side of the doctor’s arm, right onto Baekhyun’s cheek. Did he die? Was Yixing dead? The person which annoyed you, the only person who was nice to Baekhyun? A groan left the doctor, indicating to his breathing lungs. You aimed for the man right behind them, seeing his eyes for just a second before he fell to the ground. 

“Get up!”your hiss made Baekhyun stop staring at the wound. His body was stiff but he managed to crawl away and help Yixing walk. You were dripping with sweat, having a hard time keeping Yixing’s arm on your shoulders and moving forward. “Move! Move!”

You wanted to run faster but the limping doctor and stressed light bender slowed you down, made you stay put by their side long enough to see green arms run away. Rebels was fleeing and it made your stomach drop. 

The trees were so close, just a little more….What sounded like a whistle screamed through the air and then did the black object come sailing through the clouds. Time stopped as you stared at the bomb, knowing that you were so close, but it was too late. With the explosion was your voice wailing, your throat becoming raw as you screamed get down. Baekhyun and Yixing disappeared from your grasp, your chest pressed against the ground when something hit you in the back. The world turned into a haze of grey and a ringing in your ears..Was this the end? Would you die now, right after the truth was revealed? Was this your punishment for all you did? The grey slowly faded to black and suddenly weren't you feeling anything, like an outsider looking in.

Tags: @shesdreaminginoverdose​

[omenapologist-moved]

Rabbit: Second Statement of “Mira”

Lost statement which was recovered in the depths of the Magnus Institute. This is one of few tapes we were able to recover. This tape appeared to have been slightly damaged in storage, but the integrity of the audio recording remains.

Statement begins.

Once again, I find myself here in this pleather seat, in front of you. Stoic as always. Removed from the situation I am about to relay to you. You try and look like you aren't bothered by my words, but the slight tremble in your voice betrays you. But even more than that, it's the look in your eyes. Your doe-like eyes, Archivist. Big and round and deep and full of fear like a little prey animal when faced with the barrel of a gun. 

But don't worry, I'm not here to torment you or to further comment on your striking resemblance to that which torments me. Some... Interesting things have happened since I was last seated across the table from you. This update I bring is mostly a formality. I expect these tapes to be the only record of my existence, or rather, the only record of this incarnation of myself, of Mira, in due time. I've traveled to many more towns, worn a few different faces since the last time we spoke. Well, the last time I spoke at you, if we wanted to be more technical about it. 

...Does my face look the same to you? I don't even recognize that I have one anymore. It is not something I worry about, particularly when I am alone to my thoughts. Who I am when I am alone does not matter, just as it doesn't matter whether or not a tree makes a noise when it falls in a forest and no one is around. It is when I am around others that who I am matters. 

To you, I am Mira. The strange little taxidermist that kept running over innocent animals with their car, had a psychotic break, and skipped town over and over again. At least that is what you tell yourself to avoid confronting the greater other, that which I am and that which I am not. You try and be skeptical, Archivist, but I can tell it is mostly to hide your fear... But you didn't say no when I came back.

My apologies, I said I wasn't here to torment you. It's just a little funny. 

I've poked and prodded and beaten around the bush long enough.

It's been nearly three years in total now since I left a life I once said was mine. I found a picture of that person in an old notebook the other day, and it was not me, and I am fine with that now. Every day I become more and more of a stranger to myself, and that is okay. 

I have become content with my life's path once again. 

I have rediscovered an old hobby.

For these past years, every time I saw that deer, I would look at it in its beautiful eyes that looked too much like mine and I would slam my foot on the gas and stare it down as I ran it over. I got better at causing less damage to my car over time. I'm amazed it's survived all the collisions. I'm amazed I have survived all the collisions. 

I came close a few times to being hit by an oncoming car, or veering directly into a tree, or the hooves of the animal smashing their way through my windshield and crushing my throat under their keratinous force. It felt as though the universe were holding me in its cold arms and sheltering me from the worst of these impacts, just so that I could be where I am today. 

The last few times I caused steel to collide with flesh, an itch grew upon me. Something I had not felt in quite some time. A desire once more to create, to peel away the soft, gentle fur of a little creature until its pink muscle is bared to the world and eaten by flies and maggots and carrion crows. To stretch its skin taut and stitch it back together, to have those glassy eyes once again staring me down from every crevice of my home. 

I resisted it at first. I knew I'd be a failure to it, that it would hate me, its cruel father, for condemning it once more to walk the Earth in such a terrible form. Legs a few half-inches too long, lips that were meant to be drawn into a contemplative expression stiffly stitched into a grimace, and those eyes...

But then, in a town where I wore the face of a happy-go-lucky bartender named Elijah, one of the stray cats I had been leaving food out for presented me with a gift. A freshly-caught little rabbit. I remembered how it felt to process such a creature. The fur of rabbits is so soft, softer than anything synthetic, but you have to be careful when you de-flesh the hide. The skin is so thin and tender and prone to tearing with the slightest nick, and if you are enough of an amateur such as myself you can ruin the whole hide. 

But once it is done it is such a precious little thing. So soft, but less... Frantic than it was in life. 

No little panicked rabbit heartbeat. 

Just silence and softness.

I wrapped the little thing in a plastic bag and I put it in my freezer, and the next day I went to the store and bought the barest of supplies. The tan would be nothing impressive, I wasn't even sure if it would last given the exceptionally low quality of the alum I had purchased, but it was worth a try, I thought. 

Somehow, it was worse than my previous specimens. The eyes squinted at me and they scorned me and they judged me not just for the sin of stuffing this creature but for all of the sins I had committed since pursuing this hobby. The skin itself had cured just fine, and yet the fur was falling out in chunks. I was eventually left with a thing that hardly resembled a rabbit anymore at all, but for the two unmistakable ears protruding from the top of its head. 

Most of it was bald flesh, translucent. The cheap floral foam I had used to sculpt the form it was stitched onto cast it in a ghastly green hue, and without the bulk of the fur to hide my errors every little imperfection shone through. The light tan stitching holding the piece together made it reminiscent of a recently autopsied corpse rather than a piece of taxidermy. I could see the full resin orb of its eyes through the skin, wide in terror at my sins. 

What have you done. 

What have you done. 

What have you done.

But somehow, I was not discouraged. I gave the blasphemous excuse for a piece of art a prominent place on my bookshelf. To remind me of my work, and that I had far to go.

Several days after, one of my coworkers invited me to an outing after work. The face I wore wouldn't say no, and so despite myself I accepted. I had yet again started keeping some meager supplies for the collection of roadkill in my car, but had yet to find any salvageable specimens. 

The outing doesn't matter. My presence was ultimately only so that I may be the vessel of that which they wished me to be, so I played my role and I played it well. I socialized, and joked, and was informed sometime afterwards I had been the life of the party. Good for them to get such use out of me. By the time I left the party, it was well after dark. 

Despite my best attempts in the contrary, I had found myself in a fairly rural area once more. Not that being in the city had kept the deer from pursuing me, of course. It would always find me. The red of blood and peeling mint-green of my car made quite the contrast. One I became used to with time.

I was driving home from the aforementioned outing. It had rained earlier that day and the yellow tinted light from the occasional street lamp danced somberly upon the wet asphalt. The road to the ramshackle motel I was staying in was a lonesome one. I was accompanied only by the watchful birch trees and my own thoughts, which had grown fuzzier as of late. A dull hum in the back of my mind, intrusive thoughts blending with my own until I couldn't tell where I ended and the other began. 

The sky was black and starless, the typical countless pinpricks of light obscured by oppressive storm clouds threatening to release another downpour. The typical yellow lines that divided the road were worn away in this area, neglected asphalt riddled with potholes of varying but always hazardous sizes. 

The black of the road and the black of the sky blended into an all-consuming void, the shimmer of my headlights on the wet road the only stars in sight. Ghostly birch trees stood as sentinels on either side of the road, observing me as they did every other passerby. As I progressed to my destination the trees became thicker and taller and the road became skinnier and more perilous. 

As they had promised, the clouds above unleashed their storm upon me. I turned on my high-beams and proceeded through the downpour.

In the distance, something on the shoulder of the road caught the light emanating from my car. Two perfect circles of light flashed. Animal eyes. I knew what would come next. The deer with my eyes would walk onto the middle of the road, and it would wait for the kiss of hard metal against its soft flesh and strong but not strong enough bones, and it would die there on that road and be gone by morning, and I would wash its blood from my car and pay for the repairs I needed to pay for, and I would pack up again and I would move town and change my name and my face to suit the next group of people that I would find myself amongst.

No.

No, I decided.

That was enough. I had enough.

The deer looked at me in the same way it always looked at me. Its eyes were more mine than they ever had been, full of a very, very human hatred.

My heart beat in time with the pace of my windshield wipers as they swept the rain from my field of vision. I stared at the deer in waiting of its own demise. I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles were white, skin taut like that of a taxidermied rabbit around its form, translucent and pale and cold. I pressed my foot onto the pedal until it was flush with the floorboard. I felt the car lurch forward, taking a moment to make purchase with the rain-sodden road. 

I felt every moment of the impact, this time. I heard as the plastic and metal on the front of my car were wrought around the cervine's fragile frame. The doe slid onto the hood of my car, and as it did I became closer to its eyes than I ever had been and how they burned, Archivist. 

As the skull of the creature made impact with the glass barrier separating the two of us, its eyes did not close, the glass windshield spider-webbing around where the deer had collided with it. It remained in one piece, but only barely. The car slid along the slick road, and I slammed on the breaks. My nose smashed into the steering wheel, eliciting a trickle of blood to spout forth from it. The slain animal slid from the front of my vehicle, propelled forward by the remaining velocity.

The vehicle finally finished its motion, and sat under the rain. Again, there was silence.

I wiped the blood from my nose, and I leaned over to my glove box, and I retrieved my skinner knife and my spare needles and thread, and out there on that lonesome road in the middle of the rain I began my masterpiece.

The deer was dead. Its eyes were still open. I had never in all this time seen them shut. Despite the fire behind them having been extinguished by my own hand, they still burned.

I would give it a reason to hate me.

[spacegaywritings]

Warming Paws and Melting Hearts (1/8) “One Man’s Trash is another Man’s... Cat? “

Teen and Up audience

Summary: Remy does not know how to be a decent human being and he usually is too impulsive to interact with others in meaningful ways. However, he loves animals and his heart beats for them. When he meets the little street kitten Virgil, he takes them in... maybe he does have a shot at talking to his soft crush Emile if he learned how to care for another person?

Tags: mentions of the vet, abandoned cat, mentions of food, cuddles, snuggles, remy being a lil shit, insults kinda, playful teasing, mentions of gore (in metaphors) and head injuries and acid, migraines, headache, chronic pain, mentions of pain, mentions of death (all for shits n giggles bc Remy is a salty hoe), nobody gets hurt, Remy is just a lil shit, mentions of human waste (body waste).

- i do not think there is any more to be applied. If you need me to add anything, please contact me here or on my tumblr (spacegayparty, spacegaywritings)

 This is part of the shipping series (Remy x Emile x Virgil) “Pol-opposites and other Riots”. Find it here on tumblr and on ao3! 

chap 1: ao3

  My KoFi  - Support me ♥ or Commission me

Story under the cut: (Wordcount: ~5,3k)

The day was crisp, it was cold outside and the air smelled of ice. If winter had a certain scent, it was this. Akin to smelling the wetness of nearby ground after and before rain, it smelled of frozen ground and red noses.

 Lucky for Remy, it was not too deep into winter just yet so he could wear a dark sweatshirt, thin yet long-sleeved at last and not freeze his nipples off. His signature black leather jacket (of course faux leather, since it was more flexible and comfortable to him) covered his shoulders and engulfed him with a certain warmth. It was a lid over the cooking pot of his natural body temperature.

Other than that, the purple strands in his hair held the frame of dark glasses - sun glasses, to be more specific. It did not warm him, specifically, but it shielded him from the mean sun rays.

 Was there sun? Not really.

 She was in the process of lowering itself, her descending figure spilling the light of life over the horizon and bathing the world in warm streams of her last cranberry streams. Her usually yellow to intensely golden illumination danced over his hands. He held a drink in one of these hard plastic cups with permanent drinking straws belonging to it. It was about as cool as the world around him, edging on icy. This was not too surprising, judging from the actual chunks of ice in his drink.

 The shades of dark treasures mixed into the scarlet juice of the fading sun. The lights coated the world in new creation, the start of something that has not been there before, but few people stopped to mind the graceful kisses of light onto their skins and the little waves of natural beauty peeking into their vision.

 Remy was not particularly one to appreciate the sun either. The blessed souls who were to adore and value the beauty around them were more mindful than the exhausted worker. He had just exited his job and wanted his weekend to start. In addition to that, he was motivated by the sun causing him pain. Her rays practically chased him off the streets. His tired eyes avoided the reddish gleams coming from the side. While he enjoyed the warm shine tanning his hands for a short moment, it hurt a bit too much for his liking. Instead, he thought himself as a clever person. He turned his back on the last bit of natural light and took a turn since he was at the end of the street, luckily.

 He walked on, his jeans doing little to keep him warm. His breath was forming wet clouds of fog before his face. Kids would pretend to be smoking or have dragon breath when they stepped outside and got to breathe the cool air of late December afternoons. Remy just wearily breathed to stay alive as he walked back home.

His workday had just ended and he had stopped at a nearby coffee place - his favourite café! It was in walking distance from his work place and his home - before heading home. It was a usual thing to do when he slid into a weekend and decided that his migraines were not as bad as to give him any reason to avoid caffeine and extreme temperatures. When enjoying iced drinks, he should not exactly be suffering from pain already but neither should he consume scalding beverages. 

 Remy’s lips caught the pink glitter straw of his drink and once he had drawn the plastic cylinder close enough to suck it into his mouth, he did exactly that in order to treat his flaring taste buds with the deliciously sugary treat. Sweetness and the heavy taste of roasted coffee beans skimmed over his tongue. He was left with the idea of this syrup like treat of a drink in his mouth. The caffeine and low temperature seemed to immediately drive up into his head.

 Being an experienced fan of iced drinks, he knew better than to immediately inhale the whole drink despite the great taste that brought a wide smile to his usually rather stoic or even condescending lips. If he was to go too fast, his brain would hurt. Since he was prone to chronic pain, there was no need to trigger the whole procedure of nausea and throbbing, continuous agony once more.

 He drew in a deep breath and blinked at the way before him.

Grey pavement, some leafless trees framed the pavement and marked the difference between road for cars and the one for walking, much like a fence would. Except this fence had holes all over so people could run from one side to the other.

Before his heavy, black boots, little heaps of brown and dry leaves could be seen and the increasing level of winds swept around his thickly protected feet. As the strong breeze pushed past his form with blind ignorance, they pulled up the leaves in a mysterious dance. Heaps rose into dresses of imaginary fairy friends and took a few steps together with the crushing winds before an obstacle hit them and let their brief union fall apart. The leaf-clad figure would implode, their parts scattering all over the similarly colourless ground until the wind would pick up again and repeat the process tragically.

 The worker walked on, aiming to find his way back home with the last rays of fire red sun tickling his neck as he strove away from the source of heat. It seemed that the further he walked, the darker it got. The colder it got, the more grey there was around him.

Whether his environment received the last kisses of precious life when the sun bid them farewell was a mystery. Maybe the sun was trying to drag the last bits of life from the surroundings in order to come back with more energy once she had processed all the stolen goods.

 Remy’s steps leaving a dull sound with every step he left on the stone ground beneath his coal boots.

All he heard was the distant whirls of air running like the waves, coming close and suddenly fading and retreating in slow, shameful movements with the intention to have a more forceful go at the the leaf fronts next time.

He pushed his sunglasses away, letting the greying world around him make an impression on his unfiltered vision for the first time ever since he had started work. His weak orbs wearily eyed the way before him and he stopped for a moment to blink and assess the situation.

 Was it dark enough? He did not dare looking up into the awfully white-haired sky of seamless cloud patches.

 He blinked at the world and let his free hand rub his eyes with a little bit of mental praise for the effort and risk they were fearfully taking on for his own pleasure and curiosity.

His greyish-blue orbs roamed over the world around him and he sighed in relief. Next to him was a small alley, shady and narrow but a great short-cut to get to the other side and buy his eyes a bit more time to get used to everything until the sun had fully given up on emanating lights like a rich kid who had it all but actually felt nothing and needed to brag with the wealth of possession and energy.

 Yeah, why not. Looked dirty but everything on this ground was full of spit and long forgotten piss anyway. Just like in the life of a rich kid, Remy thought to himself.

 With a shrug, he pushed into the alley and took another big sip of his dark beverage with just enough undertones of sweet and soft tastes gracing and rewarding his whole mouth. He squinted for a moment and stepped forward but immediately stopped dead in his tracks when he heard a sound dive into his mind.

 “Meow”

 Remy retreated the straw from his lips and looked around. It took him a while until he found the little bundle of fur next to his feet. At first, he was not sure whether there really was anything more than a blob of darkness, perhaps just shadows from the sun setting dusk. But what he could see was a pair of different-coloured eyes staring up at him, accompanied by another meow.

 A cat, actually, a very small little kitten with fur as dark as his thick boots was curled up next to him, making sounds so miserable it even reached Remy’s cold heart. That had to say something since it was about as icy as the world around him or the drink in his hand.

 He did not know whether he would have done that at any other moment, under any other circumstances other than these.. all he knew was that he knelt down to the kitten that immediately shrieked in surprise and moved away from him. The movement seemed like a graceful curl, something he could not quite describe or follow. The darkness of shadows served as perfect environment for the kitty cat to use its fur as camouflage suit like a sneaky chameleon.

 “Hey kitty. You lost?”

 Emerald and azure orbs stared back at him, merely visible due to the sheer size of the small cat’s irises in the darkness.

It was comical to him that the cat had the most globe-shaped eyes he had ever seen. Something drew him to the kitty. It was hard to describe but he lowered himself and his hand set the drink down next to the cat. It did not move but the void sniffed at the cup and stub its damp nose against the cold surface of the container. After that, it flinched away as if shocked by the touch. In a heartbeat, it crawled away from the strong smell of cold-ridden, milked coffee beans.

 “Alright, I did not wanna share anyway, you queen”, he commented with a sour expression painting his face.

The man gently drew his now free hand over to the kitten. It hissed at first and he nearly retreated but he decided not to. Instead, he let his hand rest on the ground for the little animal to examine it. More sniffing occurred, followed by the cat’s tracks somewhat stirring. A paw landed in his palm and Remy could feel something in him melt.

  The cat patted his palm a few times as if to test the ground and let out another meow. This time, the kitten stared at him and stood up more properly. It still seemed a little ducked but it was not exactly in the same crawling position as when it merged into one with the shadows of high buildings. The shades were thrown out by buildings in a way, they were high enough to be protecting the animal and keeping an eye over it like a worried parent would watch over a toddler.

In reality, the cat was alone in a dirty, cold alley.

 “You may be a salty bitch but you are still cute”, Remy mused softly. He was talking to himself, yet in a way, he was still addressing the cat.

 Somehow he could not bring himself to just move on. Something told him that the cat did not exactly want him to go either.

 “Well, sucks that I don’t have any food for you at the moment, right? I bet you would like some - hell, I’d like to feed you, little queen. You would probably be super cute when eating out of my hand, huh..”

 Talking about that.. why not? For just a moment, Remy considered taking the animal with him - ... but was that even okay to do?

 “Are you out here all alone, little kitty? You seem too small to be outside or without someone else like a friend or, you know.. a mom?”

 The man blinked at the kitten who returned his complex questions with simple kitty sounds that seemed to drive straight into Remy’s heart, once more. It moved him, touched places within him and let his facial expression rest into a more relaxed one. T

here was nothing stoic about a melting man.

 “So you are a stray kitty cat, huh? Sucks to be you, honey. You look hungry.”

 Remy looked over the little blob of raven.

It looked way too fragile and tiny for a tough stray cat. He did not know much about the streets but he was sure that the weather was not exactly in favour of a kitten surviving all on its own. He.. he should take it in, should he not?

 The man was still in deliberation as the cat curled up before him.

The wind picked up and weaved through Remy’s hair that curled around his sunglasses in strands almost like a flower crown of purple. The icy breeze brushed over him and the kitten, the scarce fur being ruffled by the natural force and the kitten let out a pathetic, nearly pleasing sound as it curled up further.

Was it that cold?

  “Come here, kitten.”

 Remy cooed softly, his words swaying through the air and charming the cat enough to look back up to him. There was a warmth he was offering when the world around them was cold and cruel. The cat was crouching a bit by now - once again, no surprise. But at least it did not try to put any more distance between it and Remy.

 He gestured a stop sign.

“Kitten, wait”, he demanded and carefully shrugged off his leather jacket. At least it was a bit too big for him to be a comfortable fit. Since he had started working out more in the gym, his clothes fit better. It was not a size too big or anything, it was just cozy and allowed him to have proper movement space. As clothing should provide.

Without too much movement, the kitten hissed already at him. He changed his position and shifted in order to get his jacket loose. The young cat ducked, staring at all his body. Every movement of his muscle was noted by a flinch of the cat’s face or a little jump of its ears.

 His sweatshirt underneath was thin and tightly hugging his body shape. It was not enough of a protection against the icy cold. Still, he set the jacket down .. oh man, his fucking favourite jacket on the shitty, piss-ground in a trashy alley in the dark.

 Why did he do that again?

 He heard a meow. His lips immediately broadened into a smile and he patted the inside of his jacket that was facing upwards to the grey, whitish sky.

 “Come here, kitty cat, I will keep you warm. A queen like you should not be outside without the proper fur~”

 Whether the black bundle of fragility understood the man or not, it carefully pawed at the new material and found it to be much warmer than the icy ground around them. Quickly, it took the hint and moved over onto the warm blackness that matched its own fur so well. Its inner chameleon seemed to sniff safety in an environment where it could disappear by simply merging into the background. The kitten curled up on the dark hole beneath it and meowed in delight.

 It .. it started doing this funny vibrating sound. It reminded Remy of vibrations from a text message just a little more organic and vocal rather than a muffled sound.

It was clear and direct.

It went right through his heart.

 “You like that, huh? Come here, little queen”

 He carefully picked up the bundle and the kitten shot up, panic in the bi-coloured eyes. It nearly jumped out of his grip but was soothed when he carefully folded the jacket around the kitten. Slowly, silently, while maintaining a lethargic rhythm, he mumbled little encouragements as he moved to cradle the animal in his arms and rise to his feet. Again, the cat did not take it too well and rose once more, paws pressing against his collar bone. It looked back at where it used to stand with longing in their paws.

 Maybe the cold was better than a stranger’s warmth?

 Remy was standing by now, a bundle of possibly dirty street cat all wrapped up in his favourite and near-holy jacket. It was his personal relic but he was willing to share it with a freezing fella just for the sake of making that miserable little kitten a little bit warmer. After all, it was all alone and forgotten but had no protection or any other things to help itself out.

 His hand gently stroked over the back of the kitten.

 “There there, little queen. Come on, I will get you into the warmth and get you some food.”

 As he started walking, he felt the first flakes of snow settle onto the ground around them. Little ice pieces landed on the curious kitten which tried to paw at the cool sensation before giving up and deciding that Remy’s chest was warmer to rest against.

 By the time the worker had forgotten about the idea of regretting the abandonment of his weekly oh so icy treat, he was home and instead took his new melting treat into his apartment. He could not care less about his drink right now. All he thought about was whether he had enough food at home that was suitable for a kitten to eat.

 Time to go through his cupboards and shelves and scavenge the internet for important information on kittens.

 He got inside.

 This had been much more tiring than expected but at least he had the kitten in safety now.

He settled on the couch and let the kitten down, carefully leaving it to to get out of the leather jacket by itself if needed - it more than willingly did. It dragged the leather jacket along and hid in a pile of pillows that sheltered the cat mostly. Back to being a flag of camouflage, now in his home. The kitten systematically pushed the jacket down to make some sort of bed out of it, if Remy had to guess. It looked like it was giving a massage to his clothing by pushing its paws against the fabric until it stayed down, flaccid and obedient as the cat had planned.

 After this, the little queen proceeded to defiantly lay down on it, paws crossed and face focusing on Remy. He could nearly hear the hiss coming from it but the muzzle stayed shut.

Meanwhile, the human was giving the animal some space and looked up what the fuck cats were able to eat and opened another tab to look up vets. He already got a number within seconds.

 “Queen, you are a sassy little cat but do me and yourself a favour and stay put. I will call a doctor and see whether I can give you food or not. Stay.”

 He gave it a look. The cat stared back and eventually meowed before breaking eye contact with the man. 

Well, that sure meant the kitten was okay with it and understood, right? Surely. Cats were super smart after all. If dogs could learn all those funny tricks then cats sure as fuck would be able to do that.

 Remy left the room and went to the kitchen as he got on a phone call. He did not have any bit of cat food and he was somewhat concerned over what would happen if the cat was to be left alone at his place all of a sudden. It was better to take the cat with him or feed it something he already kept around.

 Cats were bitches, right?

Like, not literally, obviously but still in the sense like humans were bitches, every now and then. Less in the sense of a female dog but more in the sense of being an arrogant and salty diva.

 Yeah, maybe the cat was a queen because it was very much like some salty, self-righteous bitch. Who knew.

Remy kinda liked it. He was already thriving on the potential bitch vibes he got from it.

 Still, from all the internet had told him, there was only super cute kitty cats that made people swoon and got you into someone’s pants or the kinda cats that did all sorts of odd things, but in a weirdly endearing way. And then.. then there were the uncaring and arrogant shits that only liked you when they wanted you and other than that used you as slave for food and drinks and that was it.

 Well, the crazy fighter cats were also a thing but it seemed like such a thing from the last decade, he could not even take it seriously anymore.

Aggressive cats were not a thing, right? So, out of fashion.

 Remy got to the kitchen and washed his hand. It was kinda common knowledge but he had also read that he should probably do that.

Yeah, probably. The internet was always right.

 While he got a vet on, the cat got out of the pillow mess. Head ducked and tail low, the kitten checked the area before rushing out of its hiding spot and into one of the rooms It was warm inside, it was so so much warmer than outside. The kitten took the jacket along as it found a little box in some room and settled in the comfortably tight space. It was basically a big comfortable cave. Well, it was kitty-sized and just perfect.

 Soon, the call was over and all the necessary social bullshit was done with. When Remy returned to the living room, he only found the kitten to be lost when he returned to a jacket missing. Hey, that was his favourite!

Fucking cat. Maybe this one really was a bitchy kitten. Maybe they were real, like, for real!

 “Hey, kitty? Kitty, you got my jacket. And you fucked off. I gave you one job, I swear, darling”

 No answer.

Well, what the fuck did he expect from the cat?

 “Hey Queen, where are you at?”

 No reply.

He groaned.

 They had a fucking appointment.

Nothing went right that day, did it? He was totally supposed to take a nap and then get ready to party and not shelter a cat. What the fuck was this shit even?

 When thinking about the shelter he had to provide, a thought crossed his mind.

...Snacks!

 The cat must have been fucking hungry so maybe he could get the kitty to cooperate with him and get into a box or something.. or back into the jacket. Maybe the jacket was with the cat.

Yeah, that would help in locating the little bitch. A fucking black cat and a jacket just as dark in the surroundings of his home which was essentially kept dark so the light would not trigger his photo-sensitivity and fuck him into worse pain than usual.

Fucking fantastic.

 He brushed a hand through his hair, sighing in exasperation and carefully took hold of the sunglasses he had kept on top of his head.

After some time, it hurt him.

Fuck, his body was such an annoying pussy sometimes. Wearing it on his nose was fine but keeping it on his head was totally much pressure.

 “Kitty cat?”

 Remus carefully approached the couch, looking over the pillows and turning some over. Slowly, gently. Stray cats were often feral or like,.. shy or scared or something. At least, that was what the vet and the internet had said.

Somehow he felt trapped with this cat and if he did not befriend it, then he would be in trouble.

So, for appealing the cat, he needed to find it and somehow give it some food and coax it into tagging along to the vet.

 “Where are you, darling? Come on, do not challenge a bitch. No matter how much of a queen you are, you don’t wanna fuck with me, alright? Come on, you are not like that, right? Please don’t be a little shit, I totally don’t have the nerve for this shit, honey.”

 He carefully lowered himself onto the floor and checked what was underneath the couch.

Nothing.

Ugh, it just hurt to do all this moving and bending. He could feel his head become heavier with every move.

 “Cat, come on. I don’t have time for it. You are not that special, just come out and let me get you to a medic - vet. Whatever! Let me get you to someone who can handle you.”

 He kept walking, eyes looking out for a movement or just anything. Maybe just the hetero-chromatic eyes that would stare back at him with a certain gleam, a certain wetness yet miracle in these orbs. Cats kinda were magical. They seemed to be at least good at disappearing for no reason, all random and without trace. That was some kind of magic, too.

 “Oh kitty cat? Come on, stop being like this. I am nice, I will give you food and pay for your bills like some hot-ass sugar daddy. I know doctors suck, but please don’t hide.”

 Still nothing.

��“Do you even understand what I am saying? ‘Cuz, like, you are pretty unresponsive despite the honey I am giving ya, hear me, darling?”

 He looked over the bookshelves and the little reading corner he had made himself. It was accessible when exiting the living-room. It barely counted as a room, it was just a dark pit of warmth and books and it smelled great. It was an oriel, not a real room. But whatever. It did not matter. Architecture was not up his sleeve.

 “Kitten? You in here? Come on, queen. Don’t be like that. I wanna nap. I got food, don’t you want some fucking food?”

 Silence.

Full stop.

 A meow.

 His heart was beating again.

Hope!

 “Queen? Where you at?”

 The kitten meowed but there was still no movement.

The sounds seemed to come from lower than where he was right now. Time to see whether the cat snuck into the bookshelves or behind them. He kept the lowest spaces empty until the books would just be too much and take up the space anyway.

 “Queen, come on?”

 Another sound - not quite a meow but uh.. something like that. More a ‘mrow’ or something of that sort.

Good hell, Remy did not even know anymore.

He knelt down, carefully examining the bookshelves. The lower spaces were all empty, nothing to look at.

 “ugh.. caaaat~”, he dragged out.

 The man let himself drop fully, his body just laying there much like the corpse in the middle of a recent crime scene.

 “Where are you?”

 He felt shot, so shot already and it was such a young evening, still. He had a full weekend ahead of him and his head was hurting so much. His frontal lobe felt heavy, close to just dissolving into nothingness with acid eating it up right in his head and it was pushing against his head.

 Remy let out a groan, his eyes slipping shut.

Everything was too much.

 He was close to just giving up when he could feel a damp spot press against his temples.

The man simply whined in response. He sighed in took his last bit of effort into opening his mouth to speak, then his eyes to see.

 “This better be death, I swear to fucking hell.”

 Nope, fucking hell no.

It was the cat.

Of course it was.

 “Queen you are killing me. Already. Is that why people with pets are old? Because they want to die and know pets will do the trick if kids can’t? “

 “Meow”

 The kitten sniffed his face and Remy remained on the floor, opening his eyes more, so he could stare back at the kitten.

 “You totally need to be washed and taken to the vet, kitty cat. Come on, let us go.”

 He carefully got up, groaning under his breath and holding his head.

 “Come here, darling”, he mumbled.

He crossed his legs and patted his lap. The kitten padded over to the book box it had stayed in. It was the box in which his latest shipping of second-hand books had arrived in. It smelled old and great, like paper and miracles, stories untold and feelings unwritten yet full of sparks of imagination and so many possibilities.

It smelled of magic.

 It gently patted the jacket and dragged it over.

Remy looked over at the cat, eyes half-lidded. It felt so heavy.

The little stray kitten stopped pulling the piece of clothing when arriving at Remy’s leg and patted his knee.

The man giggled.

 “Do you really think I am gonna share that with you, honey?”

 The cat sat down and looked at him, patting his knee again. Remy gently reached out for the kitten and pulled it into his lap. The cat’s limbs went into every direction, flailing wildly until it was settled on his thighs.

 “Maybe you are not so bad. You got totally good taste.”

 He chuckled to himself but quieted down right after, gently brushing through the fur of the obsidian kitty on his lap.

 “You found me, got the jacket. You are really going for it, gurl, huh?”

 The kitten purred, literally vibrating under his touch and pushing into the soft affection. Maybe that kitten was not so stray after all. It seemed used to human touch after all. But it was not used enough to the cuddles. Otherwise it would not cherish them like this.

 “What are you actually, little void? Male, female, androgynous, a demon? Immortal? Deity of chaos? Did you come to rob my house? ‘Cuz you won’t find lotsa shit here, honey.”

 The cat looked back at him.

He stopped stroking its back and looked at the little black hole before him.

 “I am listeeening, hon~”

 The cat tugged at his hand and patted it, leading him over to its head again and pushing its little skull against the palm of his head.

The fur seemed even softer around there.

 “Hey kitty cat, why are you so trusting? Shouldn’t you like, try to eat me and slit my wrists and all those wonderful things you void cats do?”

The cat had picked up purring again, the soft vibrations gently travelling through Remy’s skin as he carefully scritched its neck.

 “You know, I have know idea who or what you are but you are my little queen now unless we know better. I have seen, like, no indicator of anyone missing you, so you are either freshly straying around or nobody misses you because you are a fucking bitch, honey.”

 “Mrouw!”

 Remy chuckled again.

 “Yeah, whatever you say, little horror block. Let’s get me cleaned and pumped up on pain killers and I promise you can stay in my jacket. And when we get back we see that I order, like, some chicken or whatever for you to eat. The internet said chicken is hot for cats. Just, like, not actually hot. And not with those bones. Bones are bad for little shits like you, right?”

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Notes (VIII)

No, don't go.

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I am in the Province of the Blind. The houses and the streets are all alike, and of the same color, and the little streets are not so little, but are lined with the same trees and shrubs as the others, and the houses are of the same rough wood, and the doors and the windows differ from one another in many little ways, some of them print-noisy print-noise differences, and the rooms are like all the others, and I do not know how to describe them except by saying that they are like all the others.

I am here, and I was not here, and I will be if I must pass through this place, but this is no place of Joy.

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The Brooks fiber phones are dead. Third-to-last place I tried before one of the stranger and even more inexplicable outages, more even than the last one, which made me conclude that the Garden Grove Atlases must understand me once more with the rapidity they have in theory, or at least be swift and certain about it.

I am a decayed thing, and now I must, by all the traditions of my race, dissolve into the linen netlike atmosphere. This is not a masterstroke, said some TNC monk as I read to myself long after the purpose of the transmission was become clear. It sometimes seems that the conventions of every epoch serve a purpose for no special reason, that all the stars are lit instead of none and every word, when examined to the ends of recollection, will seem to speak of a purpose and of devices ending up where they do not seem to be, and there is silence.

I might have stayed in this place, I thought, but I see now that I had to share my soul with an important human being, and that it would be better even then for me to stay here forever, utterly unknown, nothing to tell.

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The sun is here. The sun is here. Become it.

I am cluttered. Sawdust lodged in tear ducts from tears in the web of my eyes, droppings from celestial beasts, burned teeth. There is nothing above, and it might be better if there were, but the air here fills me with misgivings about even that thing. I am not filled with misgivings about nothing, not in this place where everything is the sun, everything is wondrous and terrible and precise.

It took a moment to flap my wings. I don't know what way they are pointing toward, but the trees exhale mist and I can see them flaring as if excited. A mirage. My mind wonders over it. The sun might be some sort of void, a howling Abyssal that divides itself into regions, a world of nightdwellers it strives to ritually tattoo into human form. Why did I come here? That I want to ask, or have no idea at all. It was not the goal, was it, for it was not the goal to destroy or to be destroyed by?

And is it, then, not the sun, and this is its cursed light? A mad heavenly orb, inflating ever upwards, gleaming bright, and once again it will crack apart, this time to produce platinum-iridescence, my tiny unique charge lost, all fragments dissipating into the void? But the parallel worlds, dreams of the city?

They were, after all, dreams, scrambled together to make children's stories. Drifting into the minds of people without instruction, they are not without practical significance, for perhaps the naïveté of these tales, for their dreamworld, was genuinely successful in making its message clear.

But there is no possibility of that going forward. I arrived here, some thousand worlds away, in the wake of the Alliance. This Place I came here to destroy, to end this. I am here, and it is raining.

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[startingtodayimakitsune]

Prologue: A New Life...

COPYING AND REPOSTING  THIS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN THROUGH TUMBLR IS PROHIBITED, COPYRIGHTS BELONG TO KAEDE TOYAMA AND SHALL BE ENFORCED. cute gif is not mine it’s just adorable as all hell <3

I tried to live a good life...

Well, better than most, I thought. I couldn't quite recall what I was doing last as I opened my eyes. All I can remember is the pain, far too much of it. And a red so vibrant it hurt to look at...but then...

It was blinding...so bright, and yet, it didn't make me squint as the sun would. A thought fleeting and soft.

How long has it been since I've seen the sun?

And my body? My body felt so light. Far from what I was used to, my limbs' heaviness and the overall pain typically consumed my thoughts. But now, it was all gone, there was nothing but weightlessness.

I sighed, happy if but for the moment for the reprieve. However… I started with a jolt as memories swept through my mind like a movie reel crashing through scene after scene before burning out.

I was watching my own life, and then...that vivid red.

It didn't register for a moment. In fact, my brain faltered to grasp what was shown to me...how could...I was...

"I...I *died*?" The word stuck in my throat, my voice echoing into the blank space before me.

((How? How did I die? I was only twenty-five! I wasn't ready to die! I wasn't prepared to leave!))

A Voice boomed over my head, "of course, you weren't; none of the creatures ever are."

Squeaking, I looked around the white canvased space-- nothingness went on for miles. "He-hello?" I called. As if it went on forever, my voice dropped off into the ether.

A soft chuckle, "hello, little one. I have been watching you now for a long time."

I fiddled my fingers together, trying to get my bearings. "Are you God?"

"Your people would call me that." The Voice said with humor, "I am sorry that your life has been difficult."

"N-No no! My life has been fine. I have had so much more than other people!!" I quickly waved my hands in front of me to assure the omnipotent presence that I was okay. But I realized they already knew.

I was never genuinely okay.

Pity filled the space and void with words of calm. "You have suffered immensely. And yet, you have given of yourself to others without care or worry."

It was true…"Tell me your name little one. For I wish to hear you speak it to me."

"My name is Tsukamotsu Takara. Taka for short." I said with a polite bow.

"Taka, such a pretty name." The Voice said with a smile thrumming in the syllables.

My mother had given me this name before her illness took her. She had forgone treatment to keep me alive. As if that wasn't enough, on top of being abandoned by my father, as well as her family.

I had nothing. But I had Mama, and we were enough. But after Mama died...I was given to a man who had sired me but cared not for the scrap of flesh that was from his own body. I could feel the Voice skimming through my memories with distaste palpable.

"H-he tried." I made an excuse, but my fists clenched.

"There is nothing for giving excuses to the cruel." The Voice scolded. But then, gentled, "you always had a way of trying to see the good... little Taka. But there is no excuse..."

…No…No, there wasn't. My marks were not on this body, and I glanced at my limbs puzzled. The marks I had kept hidden so well, scars from the many weapons that had left evidence of my living state…and scars from the verbal and emotional backlash that only I could feel but knew the Omnipotent being speaking could see all too well.

But if only that was the only crime. I clenched my eyes shut and felt tears swarm down my face. "I-It was my fault." I cried out. "He-he said so," gulping I hiccuped as I wiped my face.

Before me, a woman clad in a gold and white kimono settled her feet upon the floor, long black hair twinkling with starlight, her keen eyes holding golden orbs. She had a mix of sorrow and love  within her gaze. And it was all for me.

"Little kit, it was never your fault." With the touch of a mother, her lips pressed to my forehead. A flash through my mind, touch was usually wrong. So wrong. But this…this was like my mother I used to daydream about. Memories danced about us in the empty space, laughter, playing, having my long hair braided by gentle hands.

"But the cruelty of them knew no bounds." Ablaze within the woman's eyes. Ah yes…from the time I was 10 to 18, I feared the dark and the monsters that were all too human. Hands reaching, and the terror of someone who could not fight back.

"My dear sweet creation." The Voice that was everywhere and nowhere soothed, "no innocence lost is the victim's fault. An evil like that had no use walking that world."

The kimono-clad woman nodded as she held my chin within her palms to make me look at her.

I recalled all of the avoided relationships, the nightmares, the fear.

When I had nowhere to go.

When I had no-one to turn to. My gaze bubbled over with more tears of sorrow, which the woman wiped away with soft fingers.

"You did your best." The Voice said softly. "And your death is not in vain. I have pitted myself against The Wheel of Fate and fear I was too late to intervene on your behalf."

I couldn't recall what this Voice spoke of. But at the moment, I didn't care, it was just too much to process. "W-what happens now?" I asked.

"Well, you have a choice." The Voice said. "Either Reincarnate to the world you left, I shall place you with a kind and loving family, you shall never want for anything through your lifetime." A pause, "or…as a special gift and privilege. I would place you as a Messenger of the God that is before you within another World. A God that resides in this one and the other very much has taken a liking to you. And it is much like the one you left, but harboring magic and spirits. Think of it as Parallel as your people call it." A bright smile flitted across the woman's face at the words spoken, and she nodded.

"I would very much like you as my own." She whispered to me. "My little kit," she added with a brush of fingers through my hair.

I blinked, "so....wait another world...what like Multi-Verse?"

A laugh came from both beings. The Voice was chuckling as it spoke, "amusing, how much and how little mortals know. It is similar enough where you are easily able to be moved over. Normally, you would simply cycle back into your world." The woman glared at what appeared to be empty space, the Voice amended. "But alas-- I could not subject you to another path of potential harm. And so I shall gift you with immortality, and higher capabilities to be able to defend yourself from all forms of life Demon and Human and Creature alike."

The woman was fanning herself with an intricate folding fan. She smiled and nodded to me before disappearing within the blankness around me.

"Demons…Ayakashi?" I asked, tilting my head. "Yokai?" I had been an avid manga and Anime Otaku, along with being obsessed with anything creative. Given what I had already experienced, meeting an Ayakashi didn't even seem that scary.

If anything, humans were the real monsters.

"Of sorts, there they are called Daemon. What would you like to be?"

"I-I can be anything?" I asked with wide eyes.

"Yes. Anything you wish. Consider it the first of many a gift."

I paused. "I-I want to help people. I want to be happy…I want to live a long and happy life!" I cried. "And I never want to know hunger again!"

The Voice had paused. And considered what I said, for a moment. A chuckle. "Very well." It said. "Starting today, your new life shall begin."

Another kiss at my brow, "I look forward to it, little kit." The woman's Voice was like a drug, and with it, I fell into sweet oblivion.

[umccall71]

Chapter: 20

Characters: Prince Liam & (MC) Lady Saige

Rating: Mature

Word count :3423

Disclaimer:All characters are property of Pixelberry except my OC Lady Saige. The use of these characters are for entertainment only and I am only borrowing them.

Summary:After a summer of a lifetime,Prince Liam thought he could have it all.He was carefree, free, and sharing time with the woman of his dreams.When life was easy, a balancing act between love and duty, he realizes his truths are lies, wrong is right, and decisions do have consequences. Lady Saige never imagined she would be one of his consequences.When an utter act horror throws her world into a tailspin.

Warning: This series contains subject matter of depression,pregnancy, violence, and sensitive sexual content.The story may trigger certain individuals. Please be advised. If you are reading this series you are acknowledging you are 18+.

@ao719 @eadanga @silviasutton1989 @rainbowsinthestorm @the-soot-sprite @jared2612 @sashatrr @jovialyouthmusic @smalltalk88 @custaroonie @kuladekiwi @whenyourheartskipsabeat @marietrinmimi @furiousherringoperatortoad @gibbles82 @choices97 @fantasy-of-fiction @romanticatheart-posts @drakesensworld @simsvetements @blackcoffee85 @3pawandme @indiacater @hopefulmoonobject @elles-choices @carabeth @carabethpow @janezillow @kingliam2019 @lodberg @ownworldresident

**********

The following morning, Olivia had arrived in the early sunrise at the urgent request of her king. Liam had sent a message that he needed to take care of some things but did not want to leave Saige alone. Olivia came baring decadent pastries and coffee,tea, and juices.

“Good morning your majesties...I come bearing gifts of sustenance,'' she smiled to break the tension.

Liam had been awake for hours simply coordinating the events that would transpire at warped speed if he has his way.He had arranged for Bastien to pick him up early to escort him to meet face to face that evil that had lurked and entered his home. His heart was pounding out of his chest as he contemplated confronting Constantine. “Thank you for coming Olivia, I shan't be long.”

Liam turned and cupped Saige’s face placing a tender kiss upon her lips careful not to linger too long . “Love, I don't want to leave but there is an urgent matter I need to handle. I won't be long...I can't wait to take you home to care for you in the comfort of our bedroom.”

Saige flinched at the mention of the word home.As much happiness as she shared with Liam, she no longer felt the palace was her home. What Liam missed was the reluctance in his wife to proclaim that going home was at the forefront of her mind. Their home served as an internal prison for the dreams that she sought with her husband. The dream that was stolen that night in the dark...stolen from her heart. The palace would serve as an existential graveyard to the baby that they lost. All she could do in that moment was to nod and try to force a false smile as he left her with her closest friend.

Olivia slid beside Saige on the bed and handed her a chocolate croissant and a bottle of juice, “eat...you need to regain your strength to make those sons of bitches pay.” Olivia’s emerald green orbs met the lackluster crystal blue eyes.

Saige stared at the window as if she were seeking answers from the inky hues creeping between the curtain. She softly whispered , “ I wish he could see that he would be better off without me.”

Olivia reached out to grasp hold of Saige’s hand trying to project the comfort and understanding in this devastatingly critical hours following the void that was left in the pit of her friend. “Saige...you have to understand that living without you is not in the cards for Liam ...right? That man loves you and he will love you until the day he dies. I couldn't imagine the weight of sorrow you are drowning from inside. Please understand that what you feel...he feels it too.”

Saige blocked the words that were being shared...she reached over and pushed the call button to alert the nurse.She pushed the pastry away and ignored Liv’s words. Moments later the mature woman entered the room and smiled at the queen.

“Ma’am, is there anything I can do for you?”,she inquired.

Saige spoke looking out of the window, “ How long before I can leave here ?”

The nurse looked bewildered and taken aback momentarily, “ well it should be any day now. THe doctor wanted to make sure you have crossed the threshold with your pregnancy and risk no setbacks or infections as a result. I'm sure it won't be too much longer.” The nurse bowed and exited the room.

Olivia’s gaze followed the nurse out of the room and turned to her friend. “What are you thinking Saige? I know you well enough to know that there is nothing random about your questioning.”

Saige simply slid down in the bed and turned her back to Olivia, silent tears escaping her eyes. She couldn't find the words to explain the magnitude of her pain and confusion. She felt the ache in her heart at the baby she would never rocked to sleep, never see the mirrored smile of the baby’s father, never witness Liam dote over…so many first stolen from them.

***

Liam marched down the hall following Bastien mind locked on the man that tore a hole in his life without a blink of an eye. He was laser focused on looking him in the eyes and studying his reaction to his learning that his son was now in possession of the truth. Liam always felt that a man armed with the truth was armed with a powerful tool. He took long strides down the palace halls draped in gold ornate molding, Italian marble floors, and images of ancestors of Cordonia. He wondered what his ancestors would think of Constantine raping the now queen. He cracked his neck as Bastien stopped in front of a set of locked double doors that locked away his father.He knew this because the two guards would not be afforded to be housed in such luxury.He glanced to Bastien as he let out a deep breath...squared his shoulders and nodded for Bastien to open the door.

“Whatever you do ...don't open this room once im inside until I give you the signal.This is a conversation that needs to be had. I trust you have the paperwork to present to the council with formal charges?”, he watched as his heard guard nodded in acknowledgement.

“Yes sir… everything is in order awaiting word from you to proceed.”, Bastien opened the door and then back out abruptly closing and locking the door behind his king. He stretched his arms over his head before adjusting his steele gray suit and tie.

Liam slowly paced the room making eye contact with Constantine.He looked upon his father as a science experiment he was seeking a worthy hypothesis for in the end. He slowly removed his navy blue blazer and laid it across the boudoir chair. He undid his cufflinks depositing them in his trousers pocket. He rolled up his sleeves still refraining from uttering a word as he watched.Costantine went to inquire appallingly to Liam why he was being held in that room is not allowed to go to his wife in their home.

Liam scoffed at the hypocrisy of him wanting to be there with his wife when he robbed his own wife of peace, happiness, and sense of security. “Which one did you use?he asked as he started moving closer toward his father.Constantine looked at him puzzled. “What?...what are you talking about Liam?” Still no clue where his son’s thoughts were .

“Did you use the left or right hand to choke my wife in the middle of the night? Which one started your path of madness? Don't bother denying that you were there...because I have proof that you were indeed there in my home… Constantine.” Liam exuded a calm, but determined look as he stalked over to the fireplace removing the gold poker.

“Which hand did you use to strike my wife you asshole?!”, his voice deepened as he became irritated being in the room with her assailant.

“Liam… I don't know what that little bitch told you but she's lying. I gave her only what she wanted.”, he smirked as his eyes shifted back and forth watching Liam’s reaction to his lie. “Liam she has wanted to come between us since she first set foot in this palace. You cannot let her damage our relationship anymore than it has been.”

Liam's voice came out in a roar, “ENOUGH!... you will tell me which hand you used to grip the throat of my pregnant wife!”

Constantine slowly lowered his gaze to look to his right..that was all the confirmation Liam needed. He snatched his father from across the room and snapped his right arm.. Lowering a devastating blow to his right hand that landed on the desk. “Fuck Liam … what the hell is wrong with you?!, he bellowed in agony.

“Was that the same hand you used to strike her across her beautiful face you bastard?!”,his breathing became labored as he fought the urge to end him where he stood. “ Liam delivered a crushing blow with his fist across Constantine’s mouth where deep red blood flowed from his lips.

“You beat her .. you tore off her clothes on the floor of our home … you raped you animal...and your act of violence cost us our baby.It wasn't enough that you tried to have your way with her months ago… you had to finish the job!”Liam seethed as he slammed his father's body to the floor and pressed his knees on both sides of his body pounding his fist into his face repeatedly.

The door flew open as Bastien came in to aide his king that was losing control over the tragedy that had taken hold of his family. “Your majesty… please let me take over sir. I serve at the bequest of the crown.” Bastien tried to break through the rage of his beloved king. Liam gripped Constantine's head and slammed it into the floor several times.Bastien dropped to his knees and pleaded with his king to let him take over to subdue the former king.

LIam rose to his feet as Bastien held a firm grip on the former king not that he was able to put up much of a fight. Constantine sat up with Bastien close by as he leaned forward processing everything his son had told him . What he found disheartening was hearing about the loss of a grandchild. “Liam… you say she lost the baby?” Silence in the room as Liam tried to calm his pulse and slow his heartbeat.

“In light of your actions and the two co- conspirators you will all be tried for treason. Crimes against the crown. This country will learn what a vile human being you are...a stain on the monarchy. I will not cover for your crimes. My priority is to my wife and my unborn child.”, he paused as the realization dawned on his father that Saige was still pregnant.

“Wait...what do you mean unborn child?”, he was flustered and confused.

“We learned after your violent actions against my wife that Saige was carrying twins. One baby did not survive as a result of you horrific,unscrupulous behaviour. I had to watch my wife be delivered another devestating blow after her rape when the doctor told her that she lossed a child that we never had a chance to meet. This… this death is blood on your hands. Everyone will learn what a monster you are and that you killed your own flesh and blood grandchild.You will stand trial before the council...and then to meet your maker. I hope you rot in hell for what you've done Constantine. Your legacy … will be that of a murderer and rapist to your own family.”

Liam picked up his blazer and slowly moved toward the door. He wouldn’t look back as he went to exit. As he was leaving her heard Bastien yell out , “unhand my service revolver!” Moments later a loud single pop escaped the room followed by a thud on the floor. Liam turned back and witnessed Bastien trying to revive Constantine to no avail. King father perished as a single gunshot to his head as he took his own life in that room. Bastien radioed to his staff to secure the scene and lock down any press to the palace until Queen mother is notified of his death.Liam walked down the hall blocking out the chaos taking place around him as he went back to his private quarters. He had not set foot in the royal apartments since leaving the morning of his trip to Italy. Upon walking into the living area his senses were awakened by the smell of cleaning solutions. His breath hitched as he came to the spot that he believed to be where his wife was taken from him that night. He moved to the bedroom with a suffocating feeling as he glanced to the bed that was still unmade. He eyed the IPad that was still beside her space in their bed where she laid down chatting with him on FaceTime. The spot that held a special place in his heart remembering how they laughed and planned to speak after her doctors appointment. He thought of her words where she mentioned feeling a craving for a snack...to feed their baby...babies before going to sleep.Liam peeled off his clothes, except his underwear and took in the scent of her sweet perfume intoxicated with jasmine and vanilla.He felt a burning sting in his eyes as he became overwhelmed with the thought of them making love in the rain the night before he left. Had he known that the following night would change their lives...had he insisted she travel with him to Italy. He gripped her pillow imagining her shampoo smelling of Gardenias. He put it to his nostrils and inhaled deeply as grief overtook his body. Liam’s body shook uncontrollably as he let out a scream as he sobbed.

“Why would he do this to her.. To us? She didn't deserve this.. Our baby didn't deserve this… all she wanted, we wanted was to plan for our family. How can i promised her to keep her safe when I couldn't even shield her in our home.” Liam lade his way to the bathroom and turned on the showed letting the steam filled the room. He stared at his broken blue eyes , red rimmed as he looked at a man he was used to seeing...defeated… afraid...heartbroken...betrayed. He knew he had to fight for her even if she couldn't fight for herself.

He slid out of his underwear and stood beneath the running water allowing the heat to pulsate his tensed muscles in his back and shoulders. Liam slumped down in the shower internalizing his pain and muffling his tears that were trapped in his throat. He cried for Saige, for their baby… but he felt nothing for the father that had deprived them of a family that is whole. After twenty minutes in the water he left the shower and dressed in jeans, a button down shirt and pull over sweater. He grabbed his keys and phone and headed back to the hospital ...alone.

****

Saige laid in bed staring at the ceiling trying to avoid the bereaved looks of sympathy from Olivia.Liam had sent off a text to Liv that he was on the way. Olivia had turned on the television trying to find a light hearted comedy to lighten the mood. “This movie looks good… I can't wait until we share a stiff drink after you have the baby, she smiled trying to lessen the all consuming thoughts in Saige’s mind. “Saige… what do you have a taste for? We can get anything your heart desires, ``she laughed.

Saige grew quiet, “ you can’t get me the baby I lost,''she whispered. Olivia could not help but feel a heavy heart for her friend. The thing that would help her heal was outside of her grasp. All she wanted was to plan for the day she and Liam would bring their little angels home. A moment later Liam entered the hospital room followed by Saige’s physician. Before he could say anything the doctor smiled and shared that she could head home.

“Your majesties...there has been a great improvement to your injuries and the baby is doing well.” Liam smiled reluctantly. He trained his blue eyes on Saige traveling down to her belly wanting to just touch her baby bump. He knew that would make her uncomfortable in this moment. Olivia could help but take notice of her king.

Ma’am...sir.. We recommend taking it easy for the next week or two. Free of stress .. focusing on your recovery and your pregnancy. Be mindful of any pains and cramping should it arise. You will need to eat a healthy diet and drink plenty of fluids. Listen to your body … rest frequently. Your majesty... I look forward to the official introduction of the royal heir.”,he smiled. “ I will go prepare your paperwork for your release,''the doctor exited the room.

“Baby… that's great news that you can go home … we can go home.”he reached for her hand when she began shaking her head violently, “I ..I can't go there Liam”, she panicked.

“No love… we are going to spend some time in /valtoria at your Duchy. I never had a chance to take you on a grand tour to take in the beauty. We should go there for awhile. I will work from there and .. and I can postpone any trips abroad for a bit.”, he looked on with a look of uncertainty. “Let's take time to deal with everything including the loss of our baby without prying eyes.”

“Liam… I know that you want to help, but I can't give you what you want. You deserve a woman that is of your social class and ilk. I cannot even protect your baby...what about the baby. Liam i am afraid to grow attached to this one because don't know if …”she trailed off with a few stray tears running down her face.

“Saige...we cant think that way. Am I sad that we lost a child...yes. We also owe to that baby to love the twin that shared your womb. We will stop thinking about the loss, but we also have to embrace the gift that is still with us. Let me take care of you and our baby that remains with us. I'm sure our other baby would want that”,he wrapped his arms around her trying to exude the love and support.

Olivia became moved by the tenderness between the two, “I'll go pack a bag for you to change Saige once your released. I'll be back soon, `` she quietly left the room and the couple to their thoughts.

“Valtoria will be good for us love… some time away from the palace. There is a lot that needs to be settled there . I only want you to focus on getting better and stronger. You are fierce and determined Saige. You are a force to be reckoned with in this country. I am so proud to have you in my life … as my wife...as the mother of my children… as my queen.” He kneeled before his queen kissing her hand, “I love you today just as much as the day we got married for the first time.” Liam flashed back to the afternoon in the judge;s chambers they traded vows of love and devotion,

“...I only live to serve you. I want my duty to be putting a larger smile on your face than the day before...You have shown me your my lighthouse in the storm guiding me safely to harbor. I vow to trust you and I to seek the right path… not always the easy one…”

Liam kissed the top of her head, “ I intend to live up to my vows love. I truly believe that Valtoria will become a respite during this challenging time. Today we face this hospital room mourning a great loss and crime...tomorrow you and I will wake up in paradise amongst the fields, wild flowers, mountains, streams,and waterfalls. Valtoria will be an oasis.. Our home away from home until you are ready to face the palace again.