#nothing broken at least but i couldnt ice it since i was going to the airport

[stayatsam]

image that flashed in my head as i fell down a fucking flight of stairs today

[peachiikawa]

Fly | Route Selected: O. Tooru

genre: mafia au, choose your own adventure

warnings: honestly nothing too bad in this route

word count: 3.1k

Fly Masterlist

“I choose--”

But before you could even finish your sentence, the front door opened and an arm draped around your shoulders

“They’ll be with me”

You looked to see who had just walked in and were stunned to see such a beautiful man

“Very funny oikawa, now let them go. This is a personal matter”

Daichi took a step forward and you could feel the tension in the air

But the silence was broken with a chuckle from oikawa

“Dont worry so much daichi. They arent just a threat to you theyre a threat to the entire community so to make your burden easier ill gladly take them in. you have better things to worry about anyways”

The smile on his face was far from a friendly one

Even you could tell it was a bit condescending and it made you a bit scared

He led you out the door but not before turning his head one last time

“Tell your old man seijou gives their regards”

With that he led you to his car and got you buckled in

“Now where do you live..?”

“My name is y/n and i live down the street and around the block”

He drove you home and made sure you got into your apartment

“Come in tomorrow whenever youd like, preferable before noon though. Heres my card if you have any questions. Goodnight y/n!”

He kept the conversation brief and didnt look back as he left

As soon as you closed the door you leaned against it and slid down onto the ground

Just what had you gotten yourself into?

You couldnt really sleep that night knowing that in the morning you were going to be working with the mafia

So you took an early shower and got to the address on the card oikawa gave you the night before around eight o’clock

You took a nervous breath before walking into the gigantic corporate building

‘Seijoh Industries’

The company had a long reputation of being in the modeling and fashion industry

It scared you to think that so many big companies were involved in who knows what else

You pushed the glass doors open and immediately got lost

Like how do you even navigate the inside of this building???

It wasnt long before you got stopped

...by some guy with blonde hair with lines in them

Was he trying to look like a tennis ball??

As he steps toward you you take one back until youre against a wall

“What the fuck are you doing here? Youd better leave. Now”

You feel like your stomach is about to drop before you hear that all too familiar voice

“Maddog what are you doing to y/n! Its their first day you shouldnt be so mean”

Oikawa grabbed your hand and led you down the hall to a pristine office

He sat down behind his desk and organized a few papers for you

“Youre here bright and early. I was half expecting you to just not show up”

His eyes glanced up from the papers in his hands for a brief moment

“But im glad you did it would have been a..hassle to find you”

The way that sentence came out of his mouth with that smile on his face sent a shiver down your back

He handed you a few papers and a list of tasks to do

Most of which consisted of you running errands and organizing some cabinets around the building

“Finish those and if you get done with that before the end of the day you can do whatever. Just dont poke your nose where it doesnt belong”

The smile on his face never left once your entire conversation and it left you with a weird feeling in your gut

As you turned to leave you just couldnt shake the weird feeling you got every time you saw it

But you went on your way, trying not to think about it too hard

You did each task with ease and you really thought that some of them were a bit unnecessary since most of the things on the list were already done

It was almost therapeutic doing normal things, it at least made you feel less nervous

It didnt take you long before you finished your tasks

“Hey you”

You jumped at the sound of someone’s voice and slowly turned towards a man with short and spiky brown hair

He held out a couple of papers to you

“I need you to make a few copies of these and then bring them to trashykawa”

Your eyebrows furrowed and he noticed your confusion

“I mean Oikawa. Sorry, force of habit. Im Iwaizumi by the way. I work over in communications''

You fumbled with the papers in your hands, trying to get a grip before he noticed how nervous you were

His sharp eyes were fixed on you which made you even more self-conscious 

You let out a shaky breath before introducing yourself

“Im y/n. Its my first day working here”

He nodded his head

“Yeah well just lay low if you want to survive this mess. Ill see you later y/n.”

A few weeks go by and it seems to be the same thing filling your days

This place wasnt as scary as you first thought and everyone seemed nice enough

The beeping from the copy machine brought you back to reality from your daydream and headed back to oikawas office

Though you had been here for almost a month now, it never got easier to be around him

Something was just too off putting about him

You took a deep breathe before knocking on the door to which you got a muffled “come in”

He didnt look up as you set the papers on his desk and only looked back up at you when he didnt hear your leave

He took off the glasses he was wearing and set them down in front of him

“Can i help you with something?”

Again, that smile on his face just...didnt feel right

“I was done with my work, is there anything else I can do for you?”

He just shook his head

“That should be it for me! Why dont you go see if iwa needs anything?”

You could tell that he wanted nothing more than to have just a moment to himself

And the constant flow of people probably didnt help

“This might be bold of me to say but that smile you wear around people...you dont need to put up any false pretenses around me. I know my situation and I know it isnt all sunshine and rainbows so feel free to be yourself around me. So one last time, before I go, do you need anything?”

His eyes were wide at what you just said

You had only been here for what? A few weeks? With minimal contact as well

So how did you notice?

The only other person whos ever called him out on it was iwaizumi

And he hated being read like this but he kept that smile up

“Nope im fine”

You nodded and left, closing the door behind you

And as soon as you did he threw his pen down on his desk and held his head in his hands

How...how did you see through him

He had carefully made this mask of his so that no one would be able to see how he was feeling

Emotions were a weakness

He didnt need them

And he sure as hell didnt need you

The next week he made it his mission to completely ice you out

No contact at all

And it made you kind of frustrated

The man steals you away from the other mafia you almost became affiliated with and just throws you to the side?

So you went to him after him doing whatever he could to make sure he avoided you

The man literally had tennis-head outside of his office to scare you away

“What are you doing”

The sudden voice behind you almost made you scream

“Oh iwaizumi! Dont scare me like that!”

You smacked his shoulder as you two hid around the corner from oikawas office

“If you must know im trying to get into oikawas office. I'm sick of his avoiding me like im the plague”

Iwaizumi let out a deep sigh

He knew why oikawa was avoiding you

And he also thought it was a little much

Wasnt it about time he stopped being scared?

“Tell you what y/n, ill distract kenta and while i do you can sneak into oikawas office”

Your eyes sparkled and he almost wanted to laugh

“Really?!” 

He nodded and patted your head

“Get that idiot out of his funk”

He then walked up to kenta and walked off with him, giving you a thumbs up behind his back

And when they were out of sight you knocked on oikawas door and didnt wait for him to respond before barging in

To say he was shocked was an understatement

“What are you-”

“Stop. Before you go on about how youre busy just please listen to me. I dont know what i did to deserve this amount of avoidance but if its about what i said that day, i dont regret what i said. And i wish you would stop avoiding your problems and just confront them”

Confront his problems?

What the hell do you know about his problems

“So you came in here to tell me that? What the fuck do you know about me? Youre just some street rat that poked their nose where it didnt belong. You dont know me so stop trying to tell me what to fucking do! Emotions make you weak and i dont need that”

At this point he had you backed against a wall

And when he realized what just happened he pushed himself away from you

God what the hell was he even doing

Hes spent years perfecting his facade

And then you come barging in and it just breaks?

You slowly approached him and put a hand on his shoulder

“See? Was that so bad? Honestly, seeing you like that was refreshing. Feel free to keep the mindset that emotions make you weak, i wont try to convince you otherwise. Thats a realization you need to make on your own but for now please dont hold back around me”

For the first time in a while oikawas heart stood still, almost as if he could feel himself again

“Whatever. I still have paperwork to do so leave or make yourself useful”

He shrugged your hand off of him and went back to his desk

You just smiled and nodded your head

“Ill be back with a coffee for you!”

And when you exited you bumped into the back of kentarou

“Ah sorry! Ill be back!”

As you ran off kenta took a step toward you

“What the hell..get back here!”

But before he could take another oikawa cleared his throat

“You can leave your post mad-dog. Youre no longer needed here”

Kenta nodded his head but was too shocked to move for a moment, caught off guard by the small smile that lingered on his boss’ face

The couple weeks after that you were allowed back in his office and he even started to request your presence at times for no other reason than he just wanted you to sit in the room with him

And that smile he used to give you was now replaced by a soft, genuine smile that made your heart flutter

Little things started to become more noticeable to you

Like how cute it was when he pouted his lips when he was really focused

And honestly he was too

Your smile was maddening

And your laugh made him feel like he was being swallowed whole, unable to breath

It scared him

Nothing good has ever happened when he became emotionally attached to someone

“Oikawa, are you okay?”

You put your hand up to his forehead and checked for a fever

He could feel his cheeks heating up and gently swatted your hand away

“No im fine. Dont worry about me”

He watched your face fill with concern and his heart lurched forward

This feeling...it scared him. But for now, if its you, hes willing to see where this goes

“Good morning oikawa!”

You walked into his office with his morning coffee which he gladly took from your hands

“Good morning y/n”

He had a job later and needed all the energy he could get

But not before having his morning conversation with you

“I'm leaving around noon with maki and mattsun. Iwa’s in charge till i get back so if you need anything ask him”

You could tell by the way he was talking that it was something serious and therefore probably something to do with the mafia

Sure you had done a few things for Seijoh like fax some papers and have oikawa sign a few things but nothing to where oikawa needed to leave has ever come up

He could see anxiety cloud over your face

“Hey”

He grabbed your hand and gave it a small squeeze

“I’ll be fine. You have nothing to worry about, okay?”

You nodded your head

“Please be safe”

Worry reflected in your eyes and it made him almost go weak

All he could do was nod and give a half smile

The entire time he was away you sat at his desk anxiously waiting for his return

...

“Cough up the money oikawa. We had a deal”

Oikawa looked at the man in front of him with his trademark empty smile

“That wasnt our deal. Now give us what you owe”

The room was tense but nothing that oikawa hasnt dealed with before

But his world soon turned upside down with what was thrown on the table that stood between them next

The color drained from his face as he looked at pictures taken of you without anyone knowing

“Where the hell did you get these”

The man in front of him just laughed

“Now thats an interesting expression oikawa. Never thought id see the day where that smile of yours wasnt on your face”

His knuckles were turning white from how hard he was clenching his fists

“You know, it would almost be a shame if something were to happen to them”

Oikawas eyes widened in fear

It felt as if time around him had stopped for this one moment

And it made him want to puke

“Dont you dare lay a hand on them”

His jaw was so tense that he thought he was about to pop a blood vessel

“Then give us the money”

He wasnt left with much of a choice

So he did what he was told

“See? Was that so hard?”

“Are we done here?”

He was itching to get back as soon as possible

To make sure you were okay

He couldnt rest until he knew you were fine

“Yes now leave”

The car ride seemed to last forever, maki and mattsun had never seen their boss like this and exchanged subtle glances the entire ride

As soon as the car stopped he ran into the building and to your desk

And when he saw you werent there his heart dropped

‘Where are you, y/n?!’

The only other place you could be was his office

He slammed his door open only to see you jump up from his desk, the sleep in your eyes still evident

He let out the breath he didnt even know he was holding as soon as his eyes landed on you

He went straight over to you and pulled you into his arms

The tightness of the hold around you was comforting yet alarming

You brought your arms up to wrap around him and you swear you could feel him slightly shaking

“Oikawa?”

You voice was soft and made him feel weak in the knees

“Just…let me stay like this for a moment”

After that day you were moved into his home and he never left your side

He never fully explained what happened that day

But you knew it had shaken him

Especially since you havent seen his smile since then

You were escorted everywhere

And when you asked why you were only given the short answer of “i said i’d guard you so i'm doing that”

You didnt mind being with him, really

If anything you liked being able to be with him all the time

You just hoped you werent being a hindrance

So one night as you laid in bed while oikawa sat on the ground next to you leaning against the bed frame, you turned towards him

He had been doing this lately to “guard” you and you knew he wasnt sleeping much

“Oikawa”

His eyes immediately met yours

“Am i being a burden on you?”

Though it was dark, he could hear the sadness in your voice

“I just feel like ive been holding you back lately and thats the last thing i want to do”

He cupped your face with his hand and gently stroked your cheek

“Not to mention that you havent smiled once since coming back that day and it just all feels very distant and lonesome. I hope you know that you can talk to me, i’ll never judge you for anything”

And in those few simple words the gate that had been holding back all of his emotions back suddenly broke

“y/n im scared”

His head hung low as his lips trembled

“Im scared to lose you and im scared that ive become weak since being with you but i just cant let you go. Losing you makes me feel more terrified than anything else”

The thought of losing you made it feel as if he was drowning and the water was filling his lungs with a burning sensation

You sat up in your bed and took his hand in yours

“Then why dont you turn that fear into strength? Hiding me...putting me under 24 hour surveillance...its no different than running. I dont want to be away from you either oikawa”

How did you always clear his head? It was like your words just made everything make sense

He made his way onto your bed and started to kiss you, soft yet hungry for more

He could never get enough of you

You made his heart full

And you became his strength

You made him strong and he could never forget this debt

taglist:  @the-ironic-me @multisun @my-mass-hysteria @sugawsites @youbloodylegendyoudidit @sinthxy @celamoon​ @tinymouth @fait-de-fleurs @tsukifanbase​ @69owo​ @laglyssage @hearteyeskags​ @ntngann​ @shnnn​ @fukuro-dani-ace​​ @exponentially-tired​​ @soy1melk​

[violetnotez]

HC: Telekenesis Quirk! Reader

Anonymous:  You're such a good writer lmao can't relate. But Deku and Todoroki with a s/o who has a telekenesis quirk that gets harder to control the less she concentrates? Like she'll zone out and suddenly there's books stuck the the ceiling XD idk it just sounded cute to me

Ahhh thank you ya made ma heart feel all squishy :) And this is SO AdOrAbLeEeeeeeeE (PS- I havent written for Todoroki for a while so forgive me if my writing for him is a little rusty!)

(P.S.S)- I broke up the parts front Fluff and Angst for each boy because I felt this request could do well for both genres

(RULES | MASTERLIST| REQUESTS OPEN!!! :))

-----------------------------

DEKU

Fluff:

Izuku thinks your quirk is SO FREAKING COOOOOOOL

He obviously made a journal about your quirk, because you’re his girlfriend, OF COURSE he’s going to study your powers!!!

The journal first started out as just another addition to his superhero notes

He has little notes from when you two train about fighting styles would best suit you and techniques to help you control your quirk, since when you get distracted or daze off, your quirk will sometimes activate by itself

The journal was very sophisticated and platonic, really…. until it became a journal of just YOU

It's chock full of little things he loves about you, like how your laugh sounds like wind chimes that make his spine tingle in the most delicate way ever, or the way your hair smells so lovely like fruit it makes him go crazy every time he smells it

May or may not have went to the shampoo aisle of the grocery store smelling every bottle to see if its one you use

It's also full of little moments between you two that he never wants to forget

One of the most adorable things he has witnessed when your quirk took over (and, of course, wrote down-this boi has written EVERYTHING) was when you had laid your head in Izuku’s lap during a Dekusquad outing to the park

Everyone spent the whole day studying and occasionally running around like children, playing childish games, until everyone had sat down to eat and the tiredness began to set in

You were currently in a peaceful food coma, letting Midoriya play with your hair as the sun began to set, turning the sky into a beautiful mixture of oranges, pinks, and indigos

While the rest of his friends were busy playing a game of UNO, he took the time to admire how beautiful you were: your skin was tan and rosy from the sunset, your lashes thick, your lips a pretty shade of pink and slightly parted… he blushed, wondering how he had gotten so lucky to have you

Unknowing to Midoriya, you were beginning to daze off from his touch- whenever he played with your hair you were instantly calmed and, 9 times out of 10, would fall asleep

You sighed contently, allowing the softness of sleep to drape you, until….

“Y/n….y/nnn..wake up princess,” you heard your boyfriend’s sweet voice, muffled by the thickness of sleep you were still in. But something was wrong- he sounded almost ...desperate? Scared?

Your eyes shot open, a terrifying realization hitting you- you were levitating yourself.

You, of course, had done this before while sleeping, but there was always a roof over your head. Yeah, you would hit your head and it would hurt, but at least you weren’t flying into the open sky.

You gasped loudly in shock, feeling yourself drop rapidly to the ground

Izuku instantly reacted, using a tiny bit of One for All (like .00000001% of it) to make him rapidly sprint to catch you from your fall

You grasped Izuku’s shirt, feeling the soft skin and toned muscles that always made you feel safe, trying to make your heart stop pounding from the slight scare

Izuku looked down at you, blushing slightly from how quickly he reacted and how cute you looked cuddled up against him

“Are you alright?” he asked, worry laced in his tone

“Of course I am,” you replied, your voice still groggy from sleep, “you’re here.”

Angst:

*Warning: mentions of blood

You woke up, your hair matted to one side with dirt and- blood?- your head hurt, your ears ringing, the arm you landed on felt so sore you didnt even want to look down at the damage 

You looked around, your vision fuzzy at the sides, trying to process what was going on- you could hear cries, screams, the crackling of fire- “that’s right” you thought, “Im fighting villians”

You then heard a voice that made your blood run cold

“I wont let you hurt her anymore!” Deku screamed, making you look desperately to find him- there he was, badly tattered and limping, holding one side of his suit, where red and purple was staining his skin, the mint green sleeve of his suit ripped away

The powerful villian laughed a cruel chuckle, advancing on poor Deku’s broken stance 

“You think your little whines are going to stop me, kid? Your lucky your little girlfriend is pretty, or would have killed her by now. But a pretty little thing like that could be of use to me.”

He smiled a disgusting grin, his perverted thoughts making Deku instantly furious

“No, you won't touch her! I WONT LET YOU !” he screamed, his quirk creating a ball of green energy erupt around his body as he charged at the gigantic villain now running at him.

You stared desperately at the exchange, the whole time wondering how Izuku was even still standing while the villain looked untouched

Seeing your boyfriend charge him- you couldn't take it- you were terrified and angry and scared for his life, knowing he couldn't keep this up- he'd killed himself

“NOOOOOOOO!” you screamed with all your might, not realizing you were making the rubble around you float violently, giant pieces of fallen building flying into the sky, heading to the thing that was causing your pain- this villian who had the audacity to hurt your boyfriend

The villain tried to block the rubble from hitting him, with no luck- it overtook him, instantly burying him in a pile of rubble

Deku stared at the now silent villain, turning slowly to see you, battered and bloody, before you fell to the ground from over use of your quirk

-------------------------------------

TODOROKI

Fluff:

Todoroki first began to have feelings for you very early on- he found you to be the most beautiful girl he had ever seen with a heart made of gold.

 Whenever you two talked, he felt like you treated him like a person, not the “Son-of- Endeavor”, or “The-Boy-Who-Got-In-With-Reccomendations”- you truly talked to him to get to know him for who he was

It was refreshing and irritating at the same time- he was scared of any love and affection after what his father did to his poor mother, even though he desperately needed it

After months of containing his love for you, he realized-slowly- that you liked him back

You two were both in the library, completely alone

You of course didn't think Todokroki had feelings for you, as you did for him- you had accepted that you had a pitiful one-way admiration

With Todoroki’s presence merely a few feet away, you couldn't concentrate on your studies, but you couldnt bring yourself to leave

All you wanted to do was stare at the perfect separation of red and white in his hair, the scar that felt so mesmerizing and so him, that strong jawline that always made you feel weak in the knees….

Todoroki felt the tips of hair begin to lift slightly, as if a soft breeze was carrying him up. He watched as his book began to mysteriously lift in the air, the uncanny feeling of being watched making him turn sharply to look at you, an unreadable expression on his face

Todoroki’s piercing, mismatched eyes made you break from your daze, realizing you had been staring- and had used your quirk by accident

His book slammed back onto the table, his hair flopping back to his body, tickling his skin

He watched as you instantly looked down, fidgeting to get your books together hastily together, your cheeks a bright cherry red

He thought it was pretty cute, to see you so flustered 

Just as you were practically pacing out of the library to escape the embarrassing situation, Todoroki stopped in front of you, forcing you to stop as well

“I know you were staring at me.” he said matter-of-factly, making your whole face red

Why did he find that so irresistibly cute?

“I-I-I-uh-” you stuttered, having know idea what to say

You instinctively reached up to brush your hair behind your ear, but-

Todoroki grabbed your hand, his hand warm and calloused

“Would you like to accompany me... on a date tomorrow night?”He swallowed, a twinge of nervousness visible on his calm face

You stared, dumbfounded at the mysterious boy in front of you, not knowing really how things turned so well for you

“I-uh-yes!” you smiled, “I’d love to.”

Angst:

You watched helplessly as the whole forest erupted in flames, the orange tendrils lciking up the sides of the trees, dangerously close to your reddened face

“What was going?” you thought desperately “How did I get here?” Everything was destroyed, every object turning to ash before you...you had to get out...but where was Todoroki?

You began running, flying through the charred leaves as the flames crackled around you

You didn't know where you were going, until you were met with a clearing, the once healthy grass now nothing but dirt and ash that was attacking your airways

A fierce battle was going on, it definitely being the source of the flames- both attackers were fire wielders, going at each other mercilessly- but one of the attackers was different-he was using ice as well

“Todoroki!” you tried to yell, unable to use your throat- it was like someone was choking you, making you unable to talk

You tried to move, to grab your boyfriend and escape, but- you couldn't move. None of your body parts working properly.

You stood there paralyzed, helpless to the situation, unable to move as you watched your boyfriend fight his father, Endeavor, no mercy being evident on either side

Panic flooded your system, only able to watch as the battle began to go in Endeavor's favor, your lover getting hurt more and more and more...

Todoroki rolled over, reaching out his hand to find the warmth of your body, confused to find that you weren’t beside him

He had at first groggily thought you had gotten up to go to get some water, only to look up and be shocked out of his sleepiness

You were floating a foot above the place you were sleeping, your body in the shape of a “T”

Your arms were limply spread out, away from your body, as your head lolled back as if someone was pulling the strands of your hair 

“Y/n!” he gasped, quickly pulling you back to the bed 

You face was contorted in such a look of pain, Todoroki then began to realize you must be having a nightmare

He began to shake you awake gingerly, calling you by your name and his pet names he had for you

You finally woke up, gasping loudly as if you had been drowning in water

You looked around, panting, not recognizing where you were at first, finally realizing you were in the strong arms of your boyfriend

“How did you-what happened-I” you asked confused, grasping his face between your hands and just relishing the feeling of his skin, his scar, his hair, terrified this was a dream and your nightmare was real

“You were having a nightmare,” Todoroki stated, placing a hand above the one you had on his cheek, “but youre okay, I got you now. Youre safe.”

-----------------------

Requests open!!!!

[deathvsthemaiden]

Prince Harry, Prince William, Waver Velvet, Diluc Ragnvindr, Jeremy Fragrence, and Childe (Ajax)....uwa I spelled Diluc's name right on the first go!

THE DISGUST THE VISCERAL DISGUST I AM FEELING AT EXACTLY HALF OF THESE.... ur too good and dependable I LOVE u *sniffles* 😔🤕

Harry:

Yikes full stop. Yikes. || I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? || I Do Not Deserve How Could You Do This? Hmm? Et tu, Brutus? 😐

Ok listen being royalty esp modern royalty immediately cancels out any beauty god gave you in my eyes. All the poetry I wax about how there is something to appreciate in every face and body is null and void here. If we take the Some Guy approach and look at him objectively (impossible but I’ll humor you in the name of love and not being a spoilsport).... nothing I feel nothing. Maybe a whisper of contempt and a little voice in my head going “we should avoid him he’s not going to add to our life.” But that’s. IT.

William:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him. II I’m Far Too Sane And Pretty For This?

*by this point I am shaking and crying from psychic damage* see above 👆🏽😐

Waver Velvet:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But. I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty (I Suppose) Like If He Floats Your Boat Epic But I Might Not Attend The Wedding || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

his younger self awakens big sister instincts in me meaning he would be SO fun to tease and annoy + root for + naively hope he grows into a fine young man. At that young age he is not yet broken so there is no fixing to be done, but I certainly could help set him straight! Like a bonsai 💚 he’s more sinless and (unintentionally) funny and full of promise than his other selves.

His adult self however awakens the misandrist in me. I wanna come up to him unprovoked and tell him to smile or else bc that’s the only time he’s handsome imo.... also when he has vulnerable moments like being sad the shoes he bought with his first ever paycheck got ruined 🥺 or when he gets all triumphant and carefree ever so once in a while, like in the first ep of Case Files... what I mean is sometimes his prickly hard cranky veneer cracks and I catch a dazzling shimmer of handsome but... not often enough for my liking 😑 for my favored pixelated men I get a genuine kick out of their being disgruntled (sign of true love) but his grumbling just makes me want to file for divorce and we’re not even married 😐 like can you imagine road tripping with this man? I can’t I couldn’t I will not! And omg I don’t think you could make him say stuff like I love you without feeling like you’re pulling teeth... I don’t have the patience to reach that point with him. We’d be so bad for each other and not even in the fun way... his sharp way of dress and penchant for red and long hair and passion for certain subjects are just not enough to salvage him for me, if I want to be subjected to a short tempered man all day I have a father 😩 also he has the kind of sense of responsibility that would doom you if you married him I feel. Like admirable but also what the fuck dude. Taking on all of Kayneth’s debt w/o batting an eye? Mr Velvet what about your hypothetical wife and children.... like I can’t imagine him stopping to think about them in such a scenario... he’d have to marry someone like Melvin (or Melvin himself) who would get a kick out of that brash decision and support him and I’m the wrong dame! He feels like if he had a family and he grew into old age, he would end up one of those foreboding slightly frigid patriarchs w/ short fuses who have hearts of gold but you have to dig so long and hard that by the time you have reached it you’re youth has passed you by and your fingers are worn to the bone and you’re tired... so tired..... you should’ve listened to your mother and married that nice doctor within your ethnic group instead... he’s been a widower for a few years now, hasn’t he? Has a summer home in Vienna and a very nice curly beard? Last time you stalked his FB anyway....

Also his little friend Melvin is hilarious but I could never allow him into my home on the reg. I refuse. Reines is on thin ice and reminds me too much of my sister in some ways... Literally the only person he is oft surrounded by that I would not only be chill with but delighted to have over is Flatt Escardos. Love that wild little man, he’s a brilliant riot. But also a bit of a danger to himself and others I think? Idk I barely read FSF bc the niqabi character design pissed me off to hell and back and then some 😔💔

Diluc Ragnvindr:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him. II You Absolutely Deserve Him, Bestie 🥺🤲🏽 (heartfelt + sincere)

Oh he’s pretty enough.... like def not an ugly man! But as you yourself often correctly say he’s just Some Guy! When you tell me why you love him I absolutely understand how he captivated you 🥺 but I personally am too wild of heart to be ensnared by so sober (ahaha get it? Bc he owns a tave— whatever nvm v_v)/ and stable a man.

Jeremy Fragrance:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I Could See The Objective Appeal If He Never Opened His Mouth But I’m Too Smart To Be Taken In By Some Conventionally Pretty Features And Some Muscle™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

I scroll past his vids fairly fast the same way I often scroll past spider pics that make it on to my dash despite my best efforts.... when I decide to watch his videos I regret it so much and can barely finish. The way he talks and acts and the things he Just Says sans hesitation make me so uncomfy... so performative and out of touch in the unfun way and aggressive... why isn’t he an actor why couldn’t he be named Jeremy Drama... then I could lie to myself and go it’s okayyy Hiba it isn’t real I’m sure he’s sane behind closed doors 😖 anyway I couldn’t willingly stay in the same room with him for 5 min I COULDNT! I’m v confident our priorities and moral compasses are polar opposites and have you heard the way he talks about women? 🤨 I would honestly. Prefer Patrick Bateman. Not even kidding bc at least that man isn’t real and has successfully made me laugh and gets Big Mad over the dumbest stuff so I can mock him before he kills me. Also I think I could outsmart Bateman but... what does one do with JF other than... keep ur distance. Like I’d never trust either BUT. Yeah.

Childe (Ajax):

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

HES ERRATIC.... IM ERRATIC.... CAN I MAKE IT ANY MORE OBVIOUSSSS<3 no but rlly I love a lively straightforward man and he’s got red in his character design + is often pictured with whales? And his galactic themed suit of armor is nice 😳 he’d be fun to hang out with and divorce on grounds so outrageous and absurd we both find it hilarious ✅ like I don’t think I’ll ever love love him esp since all my knowledge of him is second hand but he sounds like a blast 💥

[jackandmarksavedme88]

The Magic of Love

"Anna!" Marvin called out "Kacey and Caleb are here!" Marvin walked to the door and opened it as his girlfriend Anna bounded down the steps. "Marvin!" Anna's sister Kacey exclaimed as she walked inside. She gave him a hug and then her sister. Her boyfriend Caleb shook Marvin's hand and they all sat on the couch. "Soooo are yall ready for tonight? I cant wait for the pictures im going to get out of this" Kacey said, a glint in her dark green eyes She had talked Anna, Marvin and Caleb into going to their city's cemetery after dark. She wanted to shoot some pictures, and, Marvin knew, see if she could catch something paranormal. Anna thought it was weird, but agreed to go because Marvin wanted to. Caleb tagged along because he was the jealous type...They all walked outside to Kaceys truck and climbed in, laughing and chatting as she took off. ******* "Oh come on An!" Kacey teased "You cant seriously go back to the truck already! We have been here thirty minutes tops!" "I dont care K! I am majorly creeped out and hearing creepy shit isnt helping!' Anna whined. "But i need Marvin for these shots!" Kacey said, annoyed at her sister. They were only 14 months apart and were at times best friends. Except for two years ago when Anna and Marvin began dating....... all the times she told Anna she wanted to make a move on Marvin, only for Anna to do it first..... But Marvin was happy and thats all that mattered to Kacey. She looked over at Caleb, who stood against a tree. "Babe. Do you want any pictures done?" He looked her way, brown eyes staring intently at her and then Marvin. "No. Not really.... If you want i could walk her back to the truck" "Are you sure babe? I just want to get a few more shots of him with the fire and stuff. The colors look amazing right now!" She and Caleb had been dating a year. Sometimes she got the feeling he didnt like Marvin, no matter how many times she told him there was nothing to worry about. He was just her best friend and sisters boyfriend. But hed softened in the last few months. He smiled and walked over and kissed her head "Yes darlin. Im sure. Ill take her back over there and sit with her. Maybe she will want to come back in a little bit" Kacey smiled at him. "Thank you so much!" She went to her tiotoes and kissed him again, then turned to Anna "Ill be done in just a bit. Promise" she hugged her sister 'then we will get out of here. Nothing is gonna hurt you" she teased. Marvin walked over "well duh. Id hurt it worse" he said as he kissed Anna's head. "We'll get ice cream after this babe, ok?" Anna smiled at him. "Ok hon. I love you" she kissed Marvin and then she and Caleb started for the truck. Kacey smiled at Marvin and he walked back over to the old gravestones. "So. Shall i pose like...this" he grinned cheekily and posed with his butt stuck out and a finger to his lips Kacey laughed out loud "oh yeah. That's it. This is the REAL magic" she raised her camera and snapped a picture before Marvin almost collapsed into giggles "Okay. Okay" Kacey said breathlessly "Lets actually finish this" Marvin grinned "good to see i can still make you laugh that way. I was afraid you had forgotten how' Kacey cocked an eyebrow at him "What do you mean?" Marvin looked at her, a serious expression on his face "i dont know. It just seems like since you got with Caleb and i got with Anna, we dont hang as much. We dont....i dont know" Kacey knew what he meant. She and Marvin had been attached at the hip before Anna. More often than not, youd find Kacey asleep on the Septic boys couch. Marvin had been through everything with Kacey. "Well. When youre dating my sister its a little off to just invite myself over like i used to" Kacey laughed. "We are just older" Marvin looked down "yeah. Just...dont forget me. Ok kid? Its not illegal for you to still be my best friend and at least text me" Kacey smiled "ok. Im sorry. I just didnt want Anna or Caleb getting the wrong idea..... How about in a couple of days when Anna works i will come over and we can have lunch and hang out until she gets off?" Marvin's smiled returned "Ok! Ive got a couple of new scary movies we can watch! She doesnt like them, and its no fun watching them alone" Kacey grinned "Deal...now let me get some shots of you" Marvin smiled and produced green flames in both hands "okay. Go ahead" *************** At the truck, Anna and Caleb were talking about life, and Kacey while listening to the radio "So, Marvin and her have always been close?" Cakeb asked "Oh yeah. They were attached at the hip! Shes close with the other guys too. But her and Marvin have that kind of friendship where they can have a whole conversation based of facial expressions." Anna laughed. "You dont ever....worry about how close they are?" Chase asked quietly Anna looked at him for a moment and then shook her head. "No. I mean, i trust that she wouldnt want to hurt me and he wouldnt either" "And if he was with someone else, wold you tell them to worry?" Anna thought on his question and answered slowly "Well....i dont know. I mean... Kacey and Marvin are hard to explain....." She sighed "To tell the truth. Yeah. If he was with anyone that wasnt me, id tell them to worry. Not that they would fall together out of spite.... I think it wouldve happened organically... If you and I hadnt come along" she laughed "When we were younger, like early 20s, the boys would call her their sister-in-law and our mom would call Marvin son-in-law..... The expression on their face when it was *me* that he started dating was priceless". Caleb was quiet for a long time and Anna patted his shoulder "You have nothing to worry about. Im not going anywhere and neither are you." "Yeah. I guess" Caleb grumbled.... Its just that.... He stopped suddenly. "What is that noise?" There was a crackling coming over the radio. Anna frowned and tried changing stations, but it just continued. "What the hell-" she shrieked as the headlights cut on and illuminated a man standing there. Green eyes glowing. Caleb strained his eyes to see the mans face "Who the hell is that???" The man raised his head, an evil grin plastered on his face. Anna knew who it was. She had seen him all of two times ever, and both times one of the guys ended up hurt. "Anti! What the hell-" 'Who is Anti!?" Caleb yelled "Its....hard to explain. Hes.... Well. Hes a glitch demon" He stared at her as if shed grown three heads " What the fuck do you mean by demon???' She swung her head around 'Well theres not a whole lot i could fucking mean Caleb!' She tried the door but the electric locks were stuck fast "Damnit!" She pulled her cellphone out, but there was no signal. In a last ditch effort she reached over and began honking the horn Anti glitched to the side of the car before they could blink. Kitchen knife glinting in the moonlight. He opened the drivers door. Caleb shrinking back into the back seat and Anna in the passenger "Ah. Anna... Good to see you sweet" 'Anti. What the fuck do you want?!?!" He giggled his staticy laugh "oh anna. I just want your little boyfriend to suffer" he smiled a sharp grin. "Now...come here!" A red string shot from nowhere and wrapped around Anna's wrist Caleb went to jump to the front when Antis knife sank through his stomach. Then a few more times for good measure "Ah ah ah. Now now. Look what you made me do Caleb boy.... Shame. I liked this interior" Annas eyes widened in horror and the scream that had been lodged in her throat came loose as he pulled the knife out and Calebs blood sprayed across her and the truck. As he slumped to the floorboard Anti grabbed Anna again ******* Kacey and Marvin had begun walking when they heard the horn. They were at the bottom of the hill and couldnt see anything....as soon as they heard Anna scream they sprinted the last hill They saw the truck with the doors open, Anna was nowhere in sight. Kacey dropped her camera stuff to the ground and tried to get passed Marvin but he kept blocking the backseat view. He could see Caleb slumped to the floor "Marvin move!! Get out of my way. I need to look--" "Kacey! Stop!!!" "Marvin i need to find my sister!" Marvin screamed at Kacey "Shes not there damnit!" "Then what the hell are you block--" she stopoed as all color that had been left drained from her face. She begain shaking her head. "No...no no no. " She shoved Marvin hard enough that he fell to the ground and scrambled over him to the truck. She screamed as she saw caleb and she pulled him from the back floorboard on the the ground. She head his head and cried "Caleb! Baby!! Look at me!" He weakly blinked and shakily raised a hand to her face, blood smearing her cheek "Kay--... I...love you" Kacey cried "baby. I love you too. Dont talk like that. You'll be fine. We can get you to Henrik... Caleb???" He smiled weakly and then his hand dropped and the light went out in his eyes "Caleb?! CALEB' Kacey's screams tore through Marvin. Along with the fear for Anna. He was looking around for anything...any clue....and then he saw it.... A red string tied onto Calebs wrist "Anti" Marvin spat. Kaceys head shot up "you mean....Marvin that psycho has my sister!!!!" "Yeah. And i know where hes going too..." Marvin picked up a small card that had *Warehouse* written on it. He called Chase and Henrik, they started on their way to the cemetery. "I swear he will pay K" Marvin said, his eyes practically burning. He couldn't stand seeing her so broken. And he couldn't stand that he had Anna. He turned and began walking.. "Bullshit. Im gonna be the one to make him pay for Caleb" Kayce said. She kissed Calebs head and laid him down gently and stood up. She ran to catch up to Marvin "No. Kacey, this is dangerous' "Marvin. I dont care. Thats my sister!" She shot back. The look in her eyes he knew there was no arguing with her. He sighed "Promise me when we get there, you get Anna and get the fuck out. Ill text Jackie and he can meet us there. But you will not engage that sonofabitch, do you understand me?" He said authoritatively. "Anna would never forgive me if you got hurt, and id never forgive myself" Kacey glared at him and nodded "Fine. But if he hurts you i swear.." He stiffined "if he hurts me you will run and not look back. Got it?" Kacey glared at him and didn't answer. They began to walk the couple of miles to the abandoned warehouse ********* Anna screamed as the knife cut across her stomach. "Now now. Dont blow out your vocal chords. I want Marvy to hear you cry for him when he gets here" Anti cackeled. "You sonofabitch. Hes going to kill you" Anna spat out at him. Anti threw his head back and laughed. It made Annas skin crawl "Oh anna. No. He wont. There will be death tonight. But not mine. No no.... First im going to carve you in front of him. And if your sister wants to come along, maybe ill let him watch me kill her too..... Orrrr" he said sming evilly "I could wrap him in my strings and make *him* do the dirty work" Anti giggled Annas brain raced. 'Oh God, no. Marvin would lose his mind if he hurt one of us. Even if it wasn't his doing.' She thought "Now." Anti said, placing a rope around her mouth to gag her. "You stay here and be a good little girl, Ill make your death quick" He walked away and shut off the over head light, plunging her into darkness. ****** "There!" Marvin exckaimed as they came over a ridge. "Theres the warehouse" Kacey started to run and Marvin grabbed her, gripping both her shoulders and getting into her face "Kacey...i dont know whats going on in there... I dont know if Im going to come out of this unscathed. But i promise you will. I promised Anna a long time ago, way before we started dating that id take care of you. I intend to keep that promise. You hear me?" Marvin asked, tears in his eyes Kacey nodded her head, crying "Marvin dont you dare die on me. Do you hear me?' She shot back. "I need you....i always have" with that she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. "Eh hem." Thry both jumped and Jackie walked into view "So...are we gonna lovefest out here or go inside and kick that glitch bitch's ass?" Marvin nodded and began down the hill. Jackie stopped Kacey "Dont worry. Ill get him out of there. You and Anna just get to safety" she nodded and hugged the hero and they follwed Marvin down and to the door to the building Marvin slowly opened the door. The three of them stepped inside. Marvin searched the wall and found a row of switches. He flicked one and an overhead light began to burn slightly. In the dim light he could see Anna, tied to a table. He swore aloud as Kacey ran past him to her sister "Kacey! Stop!" She froze.... Suddenly aware of the static in the air. "Mar--marvin?" She whispered shakily "Just walk slowly back to us.Now!" She began stepping backwards and suddenly ran into a body. She turned and screamed as he grinned and grabbed her by the throat. Anna began thrashing on the table and Marvin and Jackie began to come towards them Anti spun and stood behind Kacey and placed the knife to her neck as he stared the magician and hero down 'Ah ah. Dont come any closer boys. I rather like Kacey. I wouldnt want to have to hurt her" Anti said "Anti. Let her and Anna go you asshole!" Marvin yelled "Cmon Anti. This isnt about them!" Jackie said, eyes wide in fear and anger. Kacey shook as tears ran down her face, the cold metal of the blade on her throat. "Now now Kacey girl" Anti purred into her ear "No need to shake and shiver. Its very simple. If Marvin agrees to give me control, you and your sister can go" Jackie's eyes widened "Anti. Let them go now! You know its not going to happen!!" Anti smiled at Marvin and Jackie "Oh? I mean. He swore to protect them. His allegiance for their lives! Thats my offer! Though. It is funny" he sneered and lowered his knife "If i didnt know any better id say the way your thoughts are racing, Kacey is the one youre in love with Kitty Cat. Isnt your girlfriend the one on the table?" Marvin glared at Anti as green flames formed in his hands "Shut up you freak" he spit "Kace! Down!" Kacey dropped to the floor as he shot his power at Anti, catching him off guard. As soon as it him him a bolt of blue exploded into his chest and threw him into the wall. Jackies eyes were blazing and he and Marvin were more than ready to fight Kacey scrambled to her sisters side as the boys began throwing their powers and punches when they got close enough. "An. Im gonna get you out of here. Ok?" Kacey pulled her pocket knife out and began to cut the rope. She got the gag out of her sisters mouth and then cut her arns and legs free. Anna sat up and Kacey hugged her "Im so sorry Anna" kacey cried "Kacey. You didnt do this..... Im so sorry about Caleb. He tried to save me" Anna said as tears rolled down her face The girls turned to watch the fight. Kacey searching for a way to get to the door. Suddenly Jackie was thrown into some barrels and was dazed. Anti started for the girls and Marvin grabbed him, electricity coursing through him as Anti tried to glitch away "Kayce. Take Anna and go!" "No! Marvin I-' "Kacey! You promised! Leave!!!" Kacey shook her head as tears fell and she pulled Anna off the table. They began to go for the door when they heard a sicking crack and laughter They turned slowly. Color draining as they saw Anti standing alone and Marvin halfway through the wall behind him, struggling to try and stand. "Now now girls." The glitch growled "Kitty boy didnt take my offer. Your turn" Kacey barely blinked and suddenly Anti was behind Anna. She tried to pull her away but Anti was stronger. "No!' Anna started to fight with Anti but he backhanded her to the floor. He began to stalk toward her when Kacey tackled him to the ground and started wailing on him, screaming like a banshee "You stupid asshole. Dont touch her! Don't touch my sister ever again. I swear ill kill you! For caleb! For Marvin! For Jackie!" Suddenly her world went black as anti shot a green bolt that hit her in the face *** She could hear her own heart beat. Everything was hazy. Like she was under water. She could see Marvin....he began running toward where Anna and Anti were...and then he went flying back. Jackie was cradling Kaceys head and shot a blue light at Anti, the glitch dodged it and sneered. Then he got a shocked look on his face and turned, a long cut on his arm. Anna had grabbed his knife and sliced him open. He glanced down at it and then growled at her "Dont you hurt Marvin anymore! Or Kacey! " Anna screamed. "You little bitch!" Anti growled. He grabbed his knife from her and backed her into a corner. Across the room Marvin was fircing himself up from a pile of rubble. A piece of rebar had pierced his shoulder. Not deep enough to go all the way through. But hed have to get out of here before losing too much blood. He stumbled up in time to see Anna cut Anti and Anti grab the knife. He saw his girlfriend being backed into a wall and knew what was coming "Anna! No!" He screamed as he ran. Knowing hed be too late. Knowing Jackie would be too late They both almost collided into each other as they raced for Anna. They reached that point a half a second too late. Anti plunged the knife deep into her stomach and twisted it as she screamed and glitched away, disappearing with a cackle. Marvin caught Anna as she fell. "Baby?! An!!?" She began to cough. Blood coming from her mouth 'Kace....Kacey ..wheres Kacey?" She whispered weakly Kacey crawled over to them. Screaming when she saw her sisters injuries and the blood coming from her mouth "Anna! No! No! You cant-!' "Marvin---you-you promised youd take care if her' Anna coughed weakly 'Dont forget that ok...ok?" "Anna. You and me both will. Dont talk like that" Marvin cried out. His heart breaking She smiled sadly. "Marvin. I love you..... Dont ever forget that.... I want you to be happy. When the time is right. Be as happy as you want. Dont be sad on my account babe..." "Anna! Stop talking like that! You are going to be fine. Youll be ok! " Kacey cried as. Jackie wrapped an arm around her She smiled at her sister as tears rolled down her cheek "and you- you take care of him for me....make sure hes happy.... I love you " she grabbed her hand She leaned her head into Marvins chest and began to shake "Im so cold baby" she whispered. Marvin clutched her and felt the life leave her "Anna?! Anna no!!!!!" He screamed, mixing in the air with Kaceys sobs ******************* It had been a year. One year that he started going to that damn grave to talk to her. One year that hed been occasionally sleeping in the graveyard. One year since he stood by Kacey as she buried her boyfriend and her sister in the same week. A year since hed buried his girlfriend. Marvin hadnt come out of that warehouse the same. He never used his magic anymore. He had begun to drink more. He rarely came outaide except at night But one thing he did do was keep an eye on Kacey. They all did After the ordeal the guys had moved her into the house. The nightmares were hell for them all at first until Henrik found the right medicine to give her. Marvin could still hear her screams sometimes. Tonight Henrik had worked late and Marvin had been laying in bed, his door opened and Kacey had walked in, shaking and crying Marvin sat up "Kace. You ok??" She shook her head "I was- i was waiting for Schneep because he had to get a refill of my meds but he got stuck at the hospital and-- i just couldn't keep myself awake and....and" she began to cry. Marvin jumped up and wrapped his arms around her and smoothed her hair "hey. Hey. Shhh. Its ok" he steered her toward his king sized bed "Cmon. Come lay down in here. You can sleep in here tonight. " She nodded and climbed into the bed. When Marvin lay down she scooted over and put her hand on his arm. Craving a human touch. All she could feel when she tried to sleep without the medicine these days was Anti.... Marvin smiled and slid and arm behind her head and pulled her into him. She lay her head on his chest and sighed. Feeling guilty for being this comfortable. Marvin ran his hand up and down her arm and talked to her about her books and movies. Anything to distract her thoughts. "Marvin?" She whispered "Yeah Kace?" "Thank you..... Youre the only one that can make me feel safe...and even though you hurt like i do..you never hesitate to make sure i know youre here' he wrapped and arm around him and hugged him and then yawned. "I love you..." Marvins heart jumped. How many times had she said that to him? Almost none since that night. "I-i love you too Kace. And im always here..ok?' She snuggled into him and was asleep in minutes. Marvins mind was racing. He had the urge to kiss her face. He knew shed freak out so he didnt. He was also freaking out. "What the hell are you doing man?' He thought to himself. "This is Kacey. Your best friend... Your girlfriends"..... He stopped his thought "No. Anna is gone....This is your best friend who has gone through hell and back with you. Don't fuck her up more" He glanced at Kaceys sleeping face. He brushed her hair back. Wondering if she was eating ok. Shed lost about 30 pounds this last year, but she didn't move around as much or go out as much, Marvin made a mental note to have Schneep do a workup on her in the morning and then drifted off holding her *********** Days passed. Kacey was sitting on the back porch. Chase cane outside and sat with her "Hey! How are you today?" He smiled at her "Im ok Chase. Actually i feel pretty good! " Chase laughed "you seem like youve been sleeping better!" Kacey blushed, not knowing that the boys knew shed been sleeping in Marvins room. They knew it was nothing. That it was just that it seemed to help more than the medicine but she was embarrassed Chase smiled teasingly "Yeah. Marv is pretty cozy to lay against. He gets really warm" Kacey smacked his arm "Shut up!" Chase laughed loudly and patted her shoulder "oh calm down. I get it. You feel safer. I know. Dont worry about it" Kacey leaned her head on Chase's shoulder "Chase....can i tell you something?" 'Kacey. You can tell me anything' he said seriously "Sometimes i think if all that hadnt happened... Id have kissed him by now...." She said quietly Chase wrapped an arm around her shoulder "Kacey..... Its been a year . No one would blame you if you admitted to him how you felt...how youve felt for these last few years. Everyone else knows it...hell even Anna-...." He trailed off "Even Anna knew if she wasnt in the picture youd be with him" he finished quietly and Kacey sighed "Yeah. But now its like...... Wrong" "Why? Because you love him. Because you want to see him happy again?" Chase asked "No...because when he looks at me, im afraid thats all he sees, is her" Kacey said "Kace....she was your half sister. She was blonde and had blue eyes and was tall. You are short with auburn hair and green eyes.....youre your own kind of person." She shook her head "Thats not what i mean. Ill say little things that she used to or make gestures that she did. And i never noticed it until Marvin would flinch when i would do it...." She said sadly. Chase turned to look her in the face "Look. All i know is. Anna asked you two to take care of one another. She loved you both and wouldn't want you two moping around. Neither would Caleb. Theyd want you two happy. Even if that meant with each other. You cant help who you love hon" Kacey swallowed hard and nodded. Chase patted her on the leg and looked at his watch 'welp. I gotta get outta here. Im meeting the kiddos at the movies. Ill see ya" and he bounded down the steps and began walking down the street. ***** That night Kacey lay in the living room. Determined to fight the urge to go to Marvin. She needed to grow up. Her phone buzzed with a text She grabbed it and seeing it was from Marvin opened it M: hey...are you mad at me? K:No....why would i be? M: Well youve avoided me all day and its two hours past your bedtime. Whats up? K: i just dont want to be a burden is all M: Cmere. Please? Kacey set her phone down and thought for a moment and decided to go talk to him. She grabbed the phone and walked up to the top floor and walked into his room "Whats up?" She said as she sat down on the bed Marvin was sitting in the chair at the desk behind the door and turned to look at her "Its just...ive gotten so used to you sleeping in here...i dont know" he said sheepishly "I just thought i was bothering you' Kacey said "No!" Marvin said quickly. "Kacey...i.... I havent slept that well until you started coming in here." He admitted. "Its nice having someone close" Kacey blushed "okay.... If youre sure" Marvin stood and walked over to her and crouched so he was eye level with her and out a hand on her leg "yeah.. Im sure. I like having you in here......" Kacey smiled at him and brushed his hair out of his face "o-okay...Ill stay Marvin" Her eyes caught his and her heart jumped. Had they always been that blue? He stared at her a long while and hesitantly leaned forward "Kacey I....." He put a hand on the side of her face Kaceys heart began to race and she leaned forward "Marvin...." When they kissed, Marvin saw fireworks. He always thought that was a cliche...but there it was. Her hand snaked behind his neck and she deepened the kiss, craving his closeness. She pulled him to her and she lay back on the bed, he laid by her and continued to kiss her, stroking her hair, planting kisses on her forehead and cheeks and then back to her lips. Finally they parted and he lay backwards. She rolled to his chest and buried her face "Marvin i...i didnt.... " Kacey stammered. Embarrassed at how she had kissed him him....at how she wanted more Marvin was breathing hard and rubbed her arm up and down before he spoke "Dont apologize. Dont you dare. We are both adults and youre not the only one that wanted that" he said. His voice husky. They lay there in each other's arms in the silence for a while. "Kacey?" "Yeah Marvin?" She looked up at him. He shifted so she was laying and he was propped on one arm 'Can...can i kiss you again?' He asked quietly Kacey swallowed hard and just nodded, then reached for him and wrapped her arm around his neck as he captured her mouth with his. Their need for each other growing more apparent and scaring the hell out of Marvin. He ran kisses down her neck and back to her lips. Craving her. He wrapped his arm under her head and lay on her gently, burying his face in the crook of her neck and kissed her as her hands gripped his hair and she whimpered, not knowing how to feel about how good the kisses felt. Her hands ran under his shirt and and he shivered at her touch. He leaned up and smiled as her and his hand crept under the hem of her shirt, Kaceys head leaning back at his touch. He kissed the hollow point at the front of her neck and then her lips as her hand found his and pushed his further upward. Ready to give all control over to the only man shed ever trusted to go this far. ************* Weeks passed. They never said anything in front of anyone, but every night Kacey was in his bed. And every night Marvin reminded her how much he needed her. It was midday and Marvin and Kacey were the only ones home. She was sitting on the counter as he cut vegatables. "Kacey...im tired of hiding this' he said suddenly She looked at him 'What do you mean?" He walked to her and stood between her knees and wrapped his arms around her waist, her arms wrapping around his shoulders "This. Us." He said seriously Kacey blinked and smiled at him "well. Youve never established an 'us'" It was true. They hadnt labeled it. He didnt call her his girlfriend "I-i mean.... If you want this to be an....us" he stammered She giggled "Marvin. Is this your way of asking me to be your girlfriend. Because you're floundering" Marvin blushed and took a breath "Im asking you to let me be yours. Let me love you the right way.. ." he said staring into her eyes. Kacey studied him for a moment "Thats the one thing ive always thought id never hear.....ive always wanted to though" she said quietly "Kacey...will you be mine?" Marvin asked. Kissing her nose She smiled at him "Marvin. Ive always been yours. I was just waiting for you to catch up" and with that she kissed him hard "Ehhh heee hemmmm" Chase cleared his throat, scaring the crap out of the both of them. Henrik and Jack stood with him and they all three burst into laughter. "God damnit you guys!!!" Marvin shouted and threw a dish towel at them. You werent supposed to be here for that! "Oh yeah. Like none if us know about yall" Jack said laughing "Please. You two couldnt be more obvious if you wrote it on your foreheads!" "Yeah. Marv. You dont hide lovesick very well" Chase said laughing "Nor de scratches that bleed through the back of your vite shirts Bruder...Kacey. Cut you nails before you give him an infection" Henrik said With that Jack and Chase collapsed on the floor, howling in laughter at Kaceys facial expression and the. She too began to giggle uncontrollably "Schneep you asshole" she sputtered through her laughter "Well-" Marvin said "At least i know they like you!" The five of them again laughed for a long time. And then Marvin walked back over and kissed Kacey on the mouth and smiled. "I love you" She smiled back,knowing she had found her place "i love you too"

[somephsycicchick]

Last fall hunting trip experience

Last year just as hunting season had began me and two of my close friends planned our first solo hunting trip together. Both my friends Shawn and Nat were a year older than me and are family friends, i've known them since i was five years old. We planned to go up to a certain spot that we knew of through different people in our community and other hunters (I had been up the trails on quading and horse riding trips before and so had my friends), the place was filled with white tail deer to hunt and one particular spot we planned to check out was a large waterfall that sat way up in the hills there which was about a three hour quad ride from the nearest road where we planned to have Shawn's parents drop us off on our quads. I had never been on a trip like this without at least one adult so i was of course i little nervous but mainly excited, I had my dad's shotgun in a gun case that was strapped to the front of my quad (incase we ran into an angry bear) and my .22 huntig rifle on the back of my quad. We spent the day taking our time on the way to the waterfall, we were dropped off at the entrance of the trail at nine am and got to the waterfall at one pm, when we got there we were thankfull there werent any signs of any other hunters or hikers up there (concidering its realatively well know by my community). We swam in the natural pool under the water fall (which was absolutely freezing), after getting out we set up each of our one man tents we had a campfire and ate some canned food be brought. Once the stars were out we decided to go to bed, as Nat and Shawn tied our food bag up a ways away from our tents (to make sure not to atract bears) I went just about twenty feet from the camp to grab a few smaller sticks to put on the fire (just to keep the fire glowing for the night. I bent down to grab more sticks and broken branches from the forest floor (we were camped above the waterfall on the large flat rocks but i had ventured into the trees) I was bent over when i heard something, it sounded like a tree branch snapping but it had to have been pretty loud for me to hear it over the waterfall. I whipped my head up, hoping to just see a deer or rabbit but there was nothing to be seen. I brushed it off and grabbed one more stick to add to my stack i had in my arm. I threw them on the fire, said goodnight to Nat and Shawn and as I opened my tent something told me I should grab my gun off the quad. Over the years I've leant to NEVER ignore my gut, so grabbed the shotgun, two bullets and layed it beside me in my tiny tent. I fell asleep pretty quickly even through the fairly loud waterfall beside us, but I was woken up in the middle of the night by something hittign my body, I leant up in a panic and screamed, but Shawn had his hand over my mouth before i could make any noise and we fell backwards into a laying down position and he leant back up and zipped the tne closed, then with utter fear in his eyes he shimmyed away from the opening to be beside me and stared at the entrance of my tent (by our feet). I silently grabbed at the back of his shirt, I was freaking out now too, thinking there was a bear and i was going to have to go out there and shoot it if it possed a threat. (when you're a 5'8" fifteen year old girl the kickback of a shotgun isnt fun for your shoulder). I stare between Shawn and the entrance of my tent, watching in horror as the flickering embers of the small fire illuminate a massive shadow. My jaw drops, my stomach sinks and my blood runs ice cold. It towered over the roof of the tent, probably standing at 6'6" from what I could tell and it wasnt a bear, this thing was walking on two hind legs and had a bunched over back, Shawn was absolutely shaking. I thought it must be some huge guy, theres a ton of creepy stories ive heard of people being at known hunting places all the time, but I'm full on ready to shoot someone if need be, I grabbed the shotgun from beside me, loading it as quietly as possible and holding the barrel towards the shadow as it moved, slowly, across our little site and towards Nat's tent. I hadnt pumped the gun, that would be loud and I wanted to wait to see if this guy would leave before I had to go out there and tell him to get lost or get shot.Then the figure bent over and FLIPPED Nat's tent with ONE arm, she screamed bloody murder and was completely flipped over backwards, as soon as she started screaming the shadow sprinted to our right (the way I had been collecting sticks from). Nat was screaming and panicking, I lurched forward, ripping back the zipped of my tent and pumped the gun, throwing myself out and swinging the gun up just in time to see the monsterous, long hair covered beast turning back to look at me and I was so stunned as I stared into its glowing eyes I couldnt believe what I was looking at. I didnt shoot, I lowered the gun and watched the giant monster walk off into the bush. Its thick matted hair was so dark that I couldnt see it farther than fifteen feet. Shawn seen it too and Nat barely caught sight of it as it ran away in long fast strides. Sometimes I wish i had shot it, just to prove that it was real, but im happy I didn't because it would have been a wastful death. We were all terified to stay the night but we couldnt quad back down the steep trails during the night so we all crammed ourselves into Shawns tent (his was the biggest) and i had my gun right beside me the entire night, waiting for the thing to come back. The next morning there were tracks in the mud that were way bigger than even Shawns size 12 boots. I've been back up there three times since then, but with much larger groups and farm dogs with us. I hope one day ill see it that obviously again, even though it was fucking terifying, and I think I actually have had another encounter with one, or some psycho person but thats a whole nother story.

[mars-the-4th-planet]

Cat and Cowgirl in a Haunted House pt. 3

The radio drowned out the sound of the helicopter blades by blasting Mafia In My Mouth, a cheerful song about doing villainy and naughty things. Roman Torchwick and Ice Cream Neo were dancing in circles with each other. Blake sat in the corner, tied up and scowling and smelling like catnip.

"Sir, that girl is still following us." Growled a member of the White Fang.

"UGH! Why doesnt she get tired? Somebody has to go out there and slow her down." Torchwick said. Neo pointed at herself and smiled sweetly.

"Go right ahead, but be careful sweet. I may want to taste some ice cream tonight."

Neo nodded and jumped out of the helicopter and floated gracefully to the woods below.

Yang was charging towards her, guntlets firing repeatedly. Neo quickly blocked with her umbrella. She was breathing heavily, feeling scared but not wanting to show it. Yang was stronger than she used to be, she could tell by the fact that her eyes were all red.

Still, she had an attack stragety. She waited for Yang to get close enough, and then readied the spike on the umbrella at the last second to stab Yang in the boobs. It would have worked, but Yang guessed she would try that and blocked with her guntlets so she could grab the spike and snap it clear off the umbrella.

Neo was shocked. Her mouth gaped open but she could not say anything.

Yang then tried to backhand her off to the side but Neo was still swift as ever and dodged out of the way. Yang continued to run ahead after the helicopter. She was focused 100% on getting back Blake, crushing Neo could wait!

Neos umbrella may have been broken, but she hoped she could provoke Yang into chasing her instead. So Neo chased after her.

Yang started doing the dreaded Naruto run and began shooting behind her furiously at the pursuing Neo. Neo blocked the shots, but Yang aimed lower and fired.

Neo jerked to the ground and slid straight into a tree. Strangely making no cry of pain, even though she was feeling very much. Yang had shot her in the foot. Her aura was the only reason she still had that foot.

But now was no time to celebrate her victory. Yang continued to chase the helicopter tirelessly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How do you think their date is going, Weiss?" Ruby asked, laying on her bunk.

Weiss, laying with her, pointed out that ghosts are repelled by cats. "Yang might get spooked if she goes in a seperate room, but as long as she stays by Blake - and I think she will - she will be fine because cats repel ghosts."

"Okay, but do think they might have

kissed

yet?"

Weiss rolled her eyes at that.

"Hey Penny, what are you watching?"

"N-Nothing!" Penny hiccuped and tried to turn off her video, but since she also in the bunk with Ruby and Ruby is very fast she was able to swipe it out of her hand.

Ruby blushed as she examined it. "Is this... monster-" "That is MINE Ruby!" Penny swiped it back and made a >_< face.

"I say we kick Penny out of the bunk." Suggested Weiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The helicopter landed on the top of a mountain where a secret outpost was. There Roman dragged Blake inside a large secret hall, and told the white fang to stand guard outside. Then he turned on a console at the end of the hall, and contacted Adam.

"I captured the catgirl like you requested, Adam. She is in mint condition. You are going to hell for what you are going to do to her... But hey, not my business! Hahaha."

"Good work. I will let Cinder know so she does not burn your ass to a crispy delight. I cant wait to teach Blake to behave... Ehehehe.... Oh, and you act threatening but no one is threaten by you mate. Also fuck you."

Roman smirked and twirled his cane. "Fuck you too."

"SIR! THE GIRL... SHE HAS SOMEHOW GOTTEN UP HERE! OH GOD! LET US IN! LET US IN SIR!" The white fang soldiers cried out from outside. But Roman torchwick had locked them out to slow Yang down.

"Are those MY soldiers you are sacrificing Torchwick??"

"Yes. Now, get Cinder on. We have a situation here."

A moment passed while Cinder was awoken and brought to the screen.

"WHAT?!"

"The yellow haired punchy girl is here."

Cinder was very grumpy from being rudely awoken and did not like the reason why. "You provoked the sun dragon of beacon?"

"Yes. I need... Lots of backup. Fast. I am running out of white fangs! We did not bring very many!"

"You were supposed to isolate Blake and capture here. You botched the plan, so YOU FIX IT!"

Cinder turned off communications. Roman Torchwick swallowed nervously.

"Got any more catnip?" Meowed Blake.

Roman growled and raised his cane towards the doors. They were just made of wood, so he knew they were about to be bust in. The screams of faunus had stopped so he knew Yang had eliminated what was left of what was stopping her.

BOOM!

They burst apart, bits of wood clattered everywhere. Yang charged towards Roman and blocked his shots with her fists before getting close enough to slam him into the wall.

Romans head was ringing and he couldnt see straight. He felt like everything was broken and he tasted his own blood. "Oof." He thought.

Yang started untying Blake while growling threats at Roman. His cane was snapped in halves that were at opposite sides of the hall. This was it, he thought. This is my end...i survived a while at least.

But that was when Neo snuck in and dragged him out. The helicopter had been knocked off during the fight and white fang members were scattered painfully.

Roman in his injured state would slow them down too much climbing down the mountain, so Neo decided to give him her umbrella. It may not be useful in a fight anymore, but it could still slow a fall.

"No... Neo! But what about you?!"

Neo looked down. Yang had broken the path down the mountain, meaning that if she tried to climb down it would be slow going. She would be an easy target to Yangs guntlets. So she would stay there and distract them so that Roman could escape.

"I am not leaving without you Neo."

Neo smiled sadly, and gave him a push. He floated off into the woods screaming her name in anguish.

"Neo." Yang growled behind her. Neo turned to face Yang and Blake, who were looking outraged. "You tried to turn Blake over to Adam? To ADAM?!"

Neo shrugged. She regretted nothing, all that mattered to her now was that Roman Torchwick would survive... Even if that meant she would not. The rage of those two was lethal, and Neo had no weapon. A bright flashing bolt of electricity split across the sky above, illuminating the shine on Yangs fists.

Neo wished she could have told Roman she loved him. But that was okay, she thought. He already knows.

He knows, right?

[acquisitive-adventurers]

How did Singlar lose his wife? Did he feel he lost her through his own negligence or ineptitude, or does he blame someone else for her death? Has he ever considered looking for a way to bring her back from the dead? Would he ever consider that?

(Thanks for the ask, @calabren-iarian !)

THIS IS LARGELY MY FAVORITE THING TO TRY AND WRITE??? It came out in an rp AGES ago with Singlar’s mun, and he was like (oocly) “what if you were my wife but I thought I’d lost you?” during a really sad part of an rp. It ripped my heart out and it’s been that way forever.

It’s evolved from something akin to screaming into the void to something else less screamy.

Singlar was pretty young as a dwarf – few decades old, probably 60 or so – and he was out exploring with his older brother, Kóri. They were out, being stupid “young” guys, when they came upon a night elf village. They weren’t used to meeting any of the other races beyond dwarves, gnomes, and humans, and the elves were… gorgeous, to say the least. Kóri would joke at Singlar about “staring too long,” but as a young paladin, the starlight that emanated from their eyes was intoxicating.

Though he and his brother left the village after a particularly bad cold snap (it was only like a few days before the weather opened up), Singlar had developed a major crush on the elf that would become his wife. It took maybe ten years before they actually got married, and they stayed that way for almost 80 years (so he’d be roughly 150-160 when she “died”). They’d made a home in the mountain ranges between Mount Hyjal/Felwood/Winterspring, and they were pretty happy.

Emerald Dream portals would open randomly though, and the village they lived in believed they were well defended, so no one left. Singlar left to go visit his brother in Ironforge (for some business) and left Zaha’a alone at their home. When Singlar returned a few weeks later, it was a gory mess: the village was reduced to smoldering ash, fresh corpses of elves and worgen were everywhere, and Singlar couldn’t find his wife anywhere among the survivors. So, he thought she’d perished.

For another 90+ years, he held a hatred for elves and worgen (and anyone that could turn into one tbh). He blamed himself for staying too long in Ironforge, for not taking the first boat and being delayed by a few extra hours, for not bringing his wife along in the first place.

Since there wasn’t anything left of her – possessions, body, even a photo – Singlar was left with nothing of his wife, but her visage haunted him every day for nearly 50 years. He went and drank himself nearly to death, until the kingdoms of men started asking for the other races to help build up their cities. He spent the next few decades working, drinking, sleeping with everyone, and refusing to allow himself to grieve or let go of his anger. He got sick, and sicker, and sickest of all when the orcs invaded Azeroth. He was one of the first to put his skills into the armies for the Alliance, and used it as an excuse to shed blood.

(Even that left him so very hollow inside, and it did not feel good to watch the blood go down the drain after a battle.)

When his commanders realized what he was doing, he was sent to Silithus to keep the supply chains there flowing for the Alliance and keep them as long as possible from the Horde. It was only when he touched down in Stormwind and was given the orders to go did he see Ahilyah for the first (and only) time fully decked out in her commander’s armor – at the time, he didn’t know she was his commander and was pretty awful to her, but she let it slide – as they were both introduced to the other members of their team.

All seven of them left to go to Silithus. Eventually, after battles and literal years spent in the bug-infested cesspool, everyone but Singlar and Ahilyah died or were transferred. They didn’t get any other teammates, and it was just them holding down an entire outpost.

They grew comfortable, enough to drink and sleep in the same room together (more for camaraderie than anything else), and eventually they started sharing their lives. She told him about her explorations and commander school, he told her how it was to grow up in the heart of a mountain; he explained paladin teachings (that he often scoffed at in the same breath of whispering his prayers to the Light), she explained beautiful and terrifying worlds beyond their touch that only a few could (or would) ever see. They were friends.

Between fighting the Horde and the old god worshippers and the bugs, Ahilyah was often given secret missions that they’d go and usually sabotage Horde encampments (”don’t explain anything to me, and I’ll have no questions to ask,” Singlar would tell her), but one time there was a month of nothing. Singlar asked if the war was over, if they’d be released from this Hell and they’d finally go their separate ways; she explained she’d already been given her orders, and had been given plenty of mail about not completing it yet.

When he asked why they hadn’t gone out to do “another get-this, kill-that” mission, she explained it wasn’t that type of mission anymore. It was supposed to have them go outside of the combat zone and kill any and every Horde village nearby. She had twenty-four hours to respond, or she’d be court marshaled, judged by the king and his peers, and executed. (She still didn’t know which part of the kingdom this order came from, but it had an official seal. She had asked the high command for a repeat of the orders, but she never got one – so, she stayed put, mostly because of her morals and also because she didn’t believe it was a real King Varian-stated order.)

They had a screaming match due to misunderstandings until she screamed something in anger – basically “you’re such a stupid dwarf, I can’t believe I put up with you for so many centuries” – and he was like “????what????”

And then they had a very awkward reveal that she was his wife.

He was angry, hurt, confused, and felt like he wanted to throw up. He ended up camping out in the next outpost over, thinking everything over.

Ahilyah never did the mission. At this point the Alliance basically forgot about Silithus as the Legion expac started, King Wrynn dying, and the other Alliance leaders straining under Anduin’s leadership. He came back after fighting on the Broken Shore for a while (she was in Suramar for a time), but they went back to Silithus when the Broken Isles were secure.

Days before the Sargeras skewering of the world, they started to talk about things. Though Anduin’s reign was much different than his father’s, their relationship would never be able to heal. Silithus was going to be released so the people there could refocus elsewhere in the world, but so far it was just a waiting process.

They were on their way out of the zone (near the northern mountain range) when the sword came down. The group they were traveling with were able to get into a nearby cave, but it turned out to be a straight view of the valley; they’d be burned alive if the shockwave didn’t kill them.

And being stupid, Singlar kind of just stood in front of Ahilyah as they curled up in the corner of the cavern while Silithus erupted in flames. In the last few seconds before the flames hit them, he was like, “I wasted years over you.” And she just had to tell him to choose: the anger, or a clear future.

When the shockwave hit, everything exposed to the flames was horribly burned.  Chunks of Azerite were thrown into bodies of people, killing some instantly due to the intense high while others were in severe agony. The dwarves and gnomes that sat in the cavern came out completely different, half infused with this rock that deformed their bodies but also gave them immense strengths they hadn’t had before.

Ahilyah ends up with horrible burns/scars across the right side of her body (and flecks on her left). The warrior’s right eye glows like the Azurite does, and parts of her scars sometimes glow if she gets too enraged. She goes into blind rages whenever she loses control of herself, going into a frenzy due to the Azerite in her system.

For Singlar, he’s got these giant rocks (kinda like the rock giants in Deepholm?) sticking out of his back, pulsing every time his heart beats. His eyes turn from an ice blue to brilliant gold, and the veins along his body pulse the same color. He’s got burns along the skin that isn’t infused with Azerite, and the back of his head/neck have diamonds/Azerite crystal hybrids growing out of it.

(The other dwarves and gnomes come out looking similar to Singlar, only with their own molecular type – some have sandstone/Azerite, sapphire/Azerite, etc. Each one’s experiences with the Azerite infusion range wildly to “this sucks” to “what could go wrong?”)

((I want to make an entire post about what gnomes, dwarves, goblins, and (maybe) humans taking baths in this stuff would do to them (being descendants of the Titan constructs and all), since the initial “explosion” can’t really be recreated. So it’ll just add to that layer of “well this might actually suck for us” by being so dependent on Azerite.))

[boomboombitches-blog1]

Timers

(for clarification, gif is not mine. gif is never mine. i don’t make gifs. i’m not nearly that talented)

Pairing: Jeonghan x Reader Genre: Angst/Fluff, Soulmate!AU, mentions of somewhat dystopian society Warnings: Mentions of death, bad writing, swearing(as usual),

The day your timer stopped, you were almost sure your heart did, too. Of course, you were still alive, but you felt a shock pulse through your body- the source clearly the black, tattoo-like timer ingrained into the skin of your wrist- and suddenly, the numbers, which never seemed to stop moving down, closer and closer, had frozen. 00:00:00

It wasn't possible. 576 days, 3 hours, 24 minutes- it couldnt just drop to zero. Your heart stopped as you watched the zeros blink one, two, three, times. And then they stopped. They remained there, still and black against your skin.

You didn't meet anyone, didn't even look a new person in the eye. You were walking with your best friend, and that's not how soulmate timers work anyways. They tell you when that's going to happen, they don't just stop because you coincidentally ran into your soulmate. They know- they don't make mistakes.

Your limbs were heavy, so much so that you stumbled forward- slumping into your startled friend's arms and gripping onto his navy blue t-shirt. Tears were rolling down your cheeks by then, staining the shirt with remnants of mascara as a shooting pain burst within you, sending your eyes rolling back into your head, and you collapsed on the side of the road.

Maybe it did stop your heart, but the source of the pain was your very soul breaking apart. From then on, when you left the hospital you were admitted to in a fit or panic from your friend, you became somewhat of a thing of legend. Somehow, during your sleep, another timer had burned itself onto your skin. Only this time, rather than on the right side, as everyone else's timers were, and was your old timer, another appeared on your left. No-one understood it. You only had one soulmate, one timer. Your soulmate had died, you didn't get another chance.

There was physically no possibility that your soulmate was alive. What you felt was the pain that comes with your earthly bind being broken, your soulmate's timer stopping with their heart.

People started to say things, make their own theories as if it was any of their business. You became nothing but the legend- nothing but the gossip that went around about your second timer. You were nobody- only your timers mattered.

Some people said that maybe you got a new soulmate, or maybe that timer was counting down until you died, and could be with them again. Like some update, or new implement to the system. Some, the really crazy ones, said maybe your soulmate came back to life. That wasn't possible, though. Bringing back dead people wasn’t something your society did. It was a waste of resources and time, and there was no sense bringing back someone who most likely would be without a soulmate anyways. They had broken their bond, it was too late. Your soulmate was dead. 

But somehow, you had a timer - a second timer- and no way to know what it was counting down to.

The attention lessened a lot since then. People got bored, it became less of a common debate and more of an occasional conversation starter; a way to break the ice since everyone and their mothers seemed to know about it. It was annoying at first, but eventually it got to a point where you couldn't care if you wanted to.

It's exhausting to get annoyed whenever you hear something spoken about you behind your back. Every day, multiple times a day. You're the girl with two timers- the only one. That's just what happens. People wonder about things they don't understand.

The sidewalk was wet, the early morning rain's leftover puddles splashing around your almost-bare feet, swishing around in the grooves where your feet wore down the insole of your sandals after too much time in them.

The grey sheen of clouds guarded your eyes from harsh rays of the sun, letting in just enough for it to be daylight. Everything seemed to give off a duller, greyer light than the bright, colorful one it would under sunlight, and you liked it. Too much sunlight always ruined your mood.

It was too bright, it hurt your eyes, and sometimes when everything was perfectly similar, which wasn't a rare occurrence, you could almost feel that snap, the burst of pain racing through you again.

You glanced down at your broken timer and sighed softly to yourself. Tearing your eyes away from the zeros was almost harder than looking at them in the first place.

You were over it by now- or at least as over it as you ever would be. It wasn't the same as losing a pet fish- as devastating as that is- because your soulmate was someone you were destined to spend the rest of your life with. Someone who could never be replaced by anyone, because even though you were a fully capable and functional person by yourself,  they were truly your other half. The other half of your soul, destined to be combined back into one and live happily. No-one else could be that. No-one could replace them or fill that spot. Of course, eventually you would meet again- you were still bound by soul, but not by body. You would live the rest of your life without them. Would never know who they were or what they did, or liked.

That was what hurt the worst. You never even got to know their name.

But you didn't think about it further. You were over it.

You had fallen into the belief that your second timer would count down to your own death, and so you'd duct taped over it two months ago. You were constantly thankful you had done that,  as it made it a hell of a lot easier to get through the day when all you could see on your left wrist was a black strip of duct tape and a hell of a lot of bracelets.

The street you walked on was relatively lifeless, the mornings storm prompting usual city-goers to remain within the comfort of their home, whereas you didn't care how the humidity would affect your hair. You didn't really have anyone you cared to try and impress. Everyone you had had seen you at your worst and stayed for your best. They didn’t care what you looked like, at this point.

Maybe it was good that your soulmate was gone, in some ways. You dressed for yourself, spoke how you wanted to. You never worried about them wanting you to be something different. You ignored your timer.

The skin of your wrists tingled in retaliation, wave after wave of subtle shudders up your arms, down your spine. It could've been just because you were tired, your mind was playing tricks on you- but you couldn't help but think that something out there just hated your guts, and decided to send constant reminders about the bad memories trapped in the black numbers on your left wrist.

Strong, sharp buzzes familiarized themselves with your back pocket as your phone rang relentlessly. Answering it was a task you never wanted to complete, talking on the phone always just seemed to suck the energy right out of you, but ever since your soulmate, people would worry over even the simplest things. It was almost like no-one wanted to believe that you were okay- but you knew they just didn't understand, and they were trying to put themselves in your shoes.

Truthfully, the idea of losing your soulmate was worse than the reality. Now, it only hurts when you think too much into it. You didn't know them- didn’t know a thing about them except that they were your soulmate, but hell- what all did that mean, really? You were bonded together but fated to never meet, so clearly they weren't supposed to be someone important in your life anyways.

The case of your phone was warm to the touch after so long of resting so close to your body, but the glass didn't have the same comfort, and your fingers flinched back in surprise at the cold. Sucking it up, you slid the green 'answer' icon and held it up to your face.

The screen was smooth, like ice but just so slightly warmer against your skin. Your voice was un-familiarly cheerful, enough to send a wave of chill bumps crashing over your arms, though that could've also been the wind.

"Hello?" You forced a smile as if it would be seen, eyes crinkling up at the corners with the force of habit.

"Hey, i was just calling to see if you wanted to come over tonight for dinner?" Mingyu's voice rang in your brain, along with millions of excuses on how to escape seeing Mingyu and Wonwoo.

Mingyu had caught you- quite literally- when your soulmate died, after the overwhelming sensations had caused you to pass out on the sidewalk- and it was very clear that it had all but traumatized him. He was constantly worrying about you- and you loved that he loved you enough to care but it got embarrassing sometimes and you were pretty sure Wonwoo hated how much of Mingyu's time you stole.

Your eyes were on the sky, but the soft grey clouds never registered among your racing thoughts as you fought to find some way to get out of dinner. You had just gone over the night before last, and even if mingyu didn't think so, you were clearly starting to become a nuisance. You couldn't say that, though, of course.

"Well, i-" After all that thinking, mind racing and exhausting, you didn't even need the calculated excuse lingering on the tip of your tongue.

Two shouts cut off your words as you fell to the ground alongside someone else- clutching onto you as if you were a rope and they were hanging off the side of a bridge- even though you were clearly set up to hit the ground first.

Your phone was forgotten, immediately clattering to the concrete  beside your feet as you fell back. It was almost like you were watching it slow motion, but it was all so fast that you hardly registered that you were falling at all until you hit the concrete with a thud and pained grunt. You didn't even have time to take a breath before another weight landed on you, knocking whatever was left of the wind out of your lungs and the back of your head against the cold hard ground.

You could hear Mingyu shouting concerns and threats over the phone, but it hardly registered for the loud ringing in your ears you couldn't seem to place the source of.

Gruff, blatant curses bounced off the pavement and slammed into you as the man pushed himself away. You almost whimpered- it was so loud and you needed at least a few minutes to recover from the impact, but you bit your lip and reached up to touch the back of your head instead, attempting to give the impression that you actually had it all together.

"-fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, God, fuck i'm sorry, are you okay? Shit, damn it all- how hard did you..."

Your eyes open slowly at the sound of his voice trailing off, skin tingling and heat rushing up to your face in utter humiliation. Why did he stop speaking? Did your sweater come up? Was your hair even messier than usual? Did you know him? You were pretty sure you didn't recognize his voice, but anything was possible, right?

God, your head was killing you- radiating with sharp pains whenever you moved, but your eyes trailed over his face anyways. You were still splayed out on the concrete, breaths coming back heavy as you re-learned how to breathe.

His hair was a soft, perfect mess of amber locks framing his structured face. His skin was beautifully golden, eyes deep and dark brown, staring in wonder at his right wrist, where his timer should be. He stood above you like a statue, elegant and large in your view from the ground. His body was thin, perfectly proportioned, and the grey light reflecting from the clouds and off the ground gave you a perfect view of him, unlike how the sun would cast shadows over his face.

It felt like forever, the seconds pausing as time stopped for him, as should any mindful being stop for something so beautifully majestic.

His eyes remained frozen on his wrist, calculating until finally something within him snapped and he looked back to you. You released a breath you didn't know you were holding, finally feeling able to move as did he. You pushed yourself up on your elbows, brain pounding in your skull, and he dropped to his knees alongside you.

"Are you okay? What's your name? Fuck- i'm so sorry, i wasn't paying attention to where i was going." His voice was soft, not high-pitched but not low either. There was a tiny bit of rasp as he spoke, though it could've  easily been the shock of the whole situation putting strain on his vocal cords.  You weren't sure.

You gave a slow, steady nod and forced a smile. "Yeah, i'm fine. Are you?"

His eyes lit up like a child first seeing his Christmas present as relief flooded through his veins, and he smiled. His teeth were straight and white, lips thin but beautifully pink and soft-looking- smile accented by a subtle shine from where he licked his lips in panic as you lay on the ground, clutching at the back of your head.

"Perfect, now that i've met you."

You shuddered. Maybe, under different circumstances, where your soulmate was alive and that burst of butterflies appeared at even the chance of finding love, you would have felt that fluttering in your heart, but it wasn't like that anymore. Your soulmate was gone, his wasn't- hell, he could already be with his soulmate, but he was blatantly flirting with you. It wasn't a situation you trusted anymore, you had gotten to where you knew better.

"You- what?" You stuttered, cheeks heating up from the second-hand embarrassment you felt from his words. Maybe even fury. How dare he say something like that, knowing if he were to date you he'd leave the second his timer stopped.

"Well, my timer. You're my soulmate. That's what." He teased lightheartedly, holding out his wrist to show that his timer had, indeed hit 0 and turned white against his skin.

But it could have done that ages ago.

He froze, sensing your disbelief, and observed you for a few seconds. You looked like all that was beautiful, and broken, in the world. There was a gash in your lip from biting it as you hit the ground that you didn't seem to notice, and your eyes held secrets that he couldn't understand or explain if he had a million years to try. He didn't understand you, and you didn't appear to like him very much.

He leant down, hands cold and a little clammy as he took your arm in the palm of his hand to gently flip your wrist over. He froze once more, eyes dark and cold when he saw the grey zeros on your wrist.

You were confused, scared at the way he stared, fingers tracing over the lines on your wrist. He stared as if you even having such a timer was a crime against humanity- like he wanted nothing more than to cut it off himself and if that didn't work, burn it beyond recognition

The boy suddenly didn't seem so cool, seem so big or so put together.

He didn't look lost- he clearly understood, and so did you. You pulled your wrist away and started to push yourself off the ground, but he grabbed it back, gaze snapping over to observe you in disbelief. His free hand took your left wrist, pushing back the bracelets that hid the tape, and he knowingly pulled it off, just gently enough to not hurt you.

"So it's you? I didn't want to believe it- not that having two timers is a bad thing, i just didn't want to be the reason."

You were going to pull away, you wanted to- but you were curious by now.  What in the hell was he talking about?

"About 10 months ago i was in an accident, a bad one, and i wasn't going to live, my doctor asked me for permission to try some tests on me and see if he could bring me back after i died, if the soulmate bond would re-form, and i let him.  He did it, and it worked. But the first thing i heard about when i woke up was the girl with two timers." He spoke calmly, careful to explain in full detain while at least somewhat shortening the story so it didn't bore you into leaving. "My timer restarted when my heart did, but your heart didn't stop when your timer did, so i guess you had to have another one. Look."

He prompted your eyes downwards, turning your wrist to face you with the second timer, now bare and open for your eyes to find. It was white. Six zeros, perfectly aligned, all white. Your eyes widened, heartbeat sped up, emotions flooded through you. You couldn't just believe him, that would be stupid. There was no way your soulmate died and came back to life. You knew the majority of your societal norms and rules were based off the timer, if your bond broke they never bothered to try and bring you back. They just assumed you would lose your bond, and people without soulmates were considered rogue, disgusting outcasts who couldn't be expected to act civilized if forced. They weren't bad enough to kill whomever was left behind, but the last thing they wanted was an extra soulmate-less person. Once they were gone, they were gone.

So why would they bring him back?

"Prove it."

At that, he looked a bit taken aback. You understood why- how was he supposed to prove something like that? But your soulmate was dead, and your society didn't bring people back, so you're not going to just believe him. It easily could've been some odd coincidence.

"We're the only ones here, your timer turned white and so did mine, normally-"

"This isn't normal. Nothing about this is normal- don't use 'normally' as your proof."

"Well then i need to kiss you." He argues, crossing his arms over his chest and narrowing his eyes at you.  

"You're not kissing me! That's just a myth anyways!"

You had always heard that the first time you kissed your soulmate, you would see one short flash of your future with them, but you wouldn't remember what it was until you got to that point in time. Some people say that they can remember a single image from it, but you've never met anyone who's even gotten to the point where they remember the vision in the first place. You'd never asked though, either. It was possible that maybe they somehow knew they had the vision, but you weren't about to kiss some random man to find out.

Usually, people knew when they met their soulmate in the first place.

"Well, sorry!" He exclaims in frustration, grabbing your arm and leaning to press his lips to yours before you had time to react. He knew it was wrong, but he also knew it worked, and he knew that he had found his soulmate and he wasn't giving them up just because he happened to die that one time.

You started to shout, tried to pull back, but you were frozen in place as an image flooded your mind. You and he were there, in the cereal isle in some grocery store- you didn't look much older but you had on a necklace matching one around his neck, and you were holding hands, your broken timer full on display as if to confirm it. You couldn't see your face, but you saw yourself gently shove him and heard him whine and playfully smack your butt. As soon as it began, it was over, and the image was gone. You knew it was there somewhere, you could feel it- as if looking at a painting from behind. You knew it was there, knew what it was, but you had no idea what it looked like.

You gasped and shoved him away, pointing your finger accusingly in his direction.

"How dare you- you- you manipulated me, i distinctly told you no!"

"But we're soulmates, i had to prove it to you! You wouldn't listen to me- you saw it though, didn't you? I saw it, i know you did too, you had to. I can see it on your face!"

You didn't feel the first, or the second, or the third raindrop as you sat there, glaring accusingly in his direction, trying to think of some argument to his statement, which was, in fact, true, but you couldn't think of one. Your mind was blank, and you didn't really think of anything at all until the first of an all out downpour rained down on you. You screeched in shock, feeling your clothes soak through almost immediately, your hair sticking to your forehead.

His hand grabbed for yours once more, but this time you didn't pull away, instead letting him pull you up and running with him over to the closest shelter, which was nothing but the small overhang, glass walls, and bench of a nearby bus stop.

You were as wet as anyone could possibly be forr such a short time in the rain- your clothes were damp but not soaked except on your back, and you shivered at the heavy, cold wetness on your skin, but didn't complain. Your hair was frizzy, no doubt an utter mess, and it stuck to the sides of your face and you could smell your shampoo as if it were fresh, but you only sighed and reached up to attempt and calm it.

"I would be a a hell of a lot more mad at you if you were wrong, i hope you know. I would probably report you." You grumbled in annoyance, fingers gliding like butter over your skin as you attempted to push the wet locks of your hair from where they stuck to your face, tickling your clammy skin.

He smiled to himself, nodding in understanding. He was calmer after the rain,  hands smoothing out his own hair and eyes lazily tilted up with his smile.

"I wouldn't have done it if i wasn't positive, swear."

You, too, smiled. For the first time in almost a year, you felt the butterflies in your stomach again. Your soulmate, somehow, was alive and right here, and even though you probably should've been angrier at him for forcing it on you, he had reasons, and you couldn't help but feel too overwhelmed with relief to think much about it.

The day your second timer stopped, it was almost like a new part of your heart began beating.

[anima-contritum]

hamilsquad magic!au headcanons

A/N: this au is my baby so please be gentle with it. if you guys wanna write stuff based on this (which i myself will eventually do) then ask me and credit me and @11wolfpup11 because she had a big part in creating this world with me. this is just a little bit of something big that i have tons of notes on so feel free to ask questions and such (: as always, enjoy! p.s. this is my first hc so idk if im doing it right o well

Alexander:

Weather Wizard

this boy can make the sunniest day instantly cloudy and dark if he’s in a bad mood

when he cries, it rains with flashing lightning and thunder that shakes the ground

overall, donT MAKE HIM UPSET

he will either strike lightning down on your ass or have a storm cloud follow you for a week

one time after he fought with Jefferson, he manipulated the static electricity so his hair was frizzy 

Thomas nearly killed him for it

When he first discovered his powers, he set off a hurricane

he and his brother were fighting pretty bad to the point that’s what set Alex off

poor Alex couldnt control it, it was like a giant burst of energy exploded inside of him

it destroyed the entire town killing hundreds

he could hardly forgive himself after knowing this uncontrollable thing inside himself caused it

everyone hated him once his secret powers were exposed

there were riots and it all got pretty dangerous until he was finally able to be transported to Flilria Magic Academy 

Very bisexual and very flirty

when he first met Angelica, the ice witch nearly froze his face off for flirting with her

(John still laughs his ass off at that fact)

even after that he made the mistake of thinking dirtily about John Andre when the man could literally read every thought

(again, John still laughs)

but despite all that, Alexander still shamelessly flirts with Laurens and usually is very protective of him

Defiant as fuck

on his first day of attending Flilria, he got sent down to Headmaster Washington’s office at least 6 times

part of it was because he nearly talked Professor Seabury out of his own classroom 

another part was because he was veryyy close to kicking James Reynolds into the next fucking dimension for abusing Maria and degrading Hercules and Laf

John:

Potions Wizard

this freckled cutie is a total geek when it comes to potions and spells

he can create any potion knowing the ingredients and chants no matter what, like the information was already in his brain

he can also turn water into poison if he tried hard enough

when he first learned he could this kind of stuff, he accidentally poisoned one of his classmates from the human world and had to run away - again

HeS BEEN/GOING THROUGH SO MUCH PLEASE PROTECT HIM

his biological dad - whom no one ever speaks of (and surprisingly isn’t Henry hehe) - abused him both physically and emotionally

John was blamed for his mothers death when she died from the birth

his dad took his anger and grief out on him, cursing him so every full moon he turns into a hideous beast and so that his kiss was poisonous

when he was old enough, John ran away

for a while he lived on the streets with almost nothing to live on

it wasn’t until he was taken in by the Laurens’s did he know a little bit of compassion 

but in John’s experience, everything good has its end

Henry had slapped him across the face and beat him black and blue for accidentally knocking over a very antique and expensive family heirloom

he ran and never looked back

even after being taken into Flilria Academy, he has a hard time

people bully him because he isn’t that powerful

(in which Alex tells them to fuck off unless they want a foot where the sun don’t shine)

he has a hard time dealing with his ability because it just reminds him of his powerful and dark biological father

just

please protect him 

(more on the curse)

my poOR BOY 

John could never press his lips against someone’s skin, for the person would die 

its intention is to prevent John from ever falling in love (but boy oh boy that didn’t stop him)

to add to it, the curse prevents him from ever speaking of it to anyone

it kinda cuts off his words and leaves him speechless for a moment

the curse itself acts as a live darkness that can take over his body and mind or cause him pain if it senses something it doesn’t like

not even magic can cure the curse...

Alex has tried too many times to count

Loves Alexander despite the damn curse

he can be shy about it but is generally very open about his affections for the other boy

but he always has mini heart attacks whenever his lips get too close to Alex’s skin 

there was one time where they nearly kissed

John avoided Alex for a week after, terrified of killing his love and best friend

he often helps him with tests and stuff when it’s based on potions and all that hoopla

it’s all very cute and fluffy, but can be a big danger 

(verY ANGSTY)

Hercules:

Earth Wizard

this boy can pick up boulders and bend metal wiTH HIS MIND

(i kinda based his powers off of Avatar oops)

he can also do crazy natural disaster stuff like earthquakes 

super damn powerful but literally the sweetest boy ever

in addition, he can spawn cute lil flowers and other earthy things 

(he likes to put the flowers in Laf’s hair)

He caused a devastating earthquake when he first tapped into his abilities

it killed his family and nearly everything around him for miles was in ruins 

nobody was able to pinpoint the cause so Herc was shoved around like every other orphan

that was until he was teleported to the magic school where he first met Lafayette - his roommate

He was selectively mute for a very long time because of the after effects of the earthquake

it left him traumatized

he was speechless for a very long time, occasionally learning ASL words to ask Laf for something

Laf was always there, teaching him new sign language and talking to him even though there was no reply 

Laf was just generally okay with it and both supported and defended Herc through it all

this went on until one day Lafayette was rambling on about not having a Moon Stone for his collection

Herc had perked up and gotten up from where he was sitting. It took a bit to find it, but when he did he gave the Moon Stone he had to Laf with a small smile as two words passed his lips. “Keep it.”

(Laf made it into a necklace and wears it everyday)

That was the first time he had spoken since the earthquake

Please love and respec and protec

for a while, Herc would only ever talk to Laf

it would progress from quiet one worded responses to whispered sentences to full conversations

but even though he talks to Laf doesn’t mean he talks to everyone

he’s still trying to get passed his barriers and talking to others but most times it comes out in stutters and broken whispers

he has really bad anxiety but still tries

most times Laf has to stand up for him because others use his struggles against him

He’s scared of his powers

no lying, he’s one of the most powerful kids in the school

but because of the earthquake and avoiding his powers, he doesn’t know how to control it

it’s very hard for him to do big things at a time because he’s terrified if he pushes the limits he has set, he’ll hurt someone

it all comes down to his bad anxiety but he does try if he’s encouraged

sometimes the encouragement can be someone messing with Laf 

he learned he could bend metal from that one time someone called them a homophobic slur and he lost all sense of control

it still scares him though when he tries new things

Lafayette:

Animal Wizard

this pure boy can talk to animals

even though he can do this though, he sometimes has trouble understanding certain animal dialects

it’s kinda like how people can’t understand a different language if we don’t study it

he can also sometimes compel them if he has to but he hates it

He haS A BADASS PET DRAGON

he found the dragon egg under a giant willow tree

after carefully watching over it and keeping it safe, it hatched and out came a little black and blue scaled dragon he’d name Saule

(Saule translates to Willow in french)

Laf would soon learn that he and Saule established an unbreakable bond after she was born where they can speak telepathically and feel each other’s emotions 

now as she’s basically a teenager in dragon years, Saule’s the sassiest lil shit ever

she always teases him about his giant crush on Hercules 

oH and she breathes electricity rather than fire which is pretty cool

at this point, she’d be about the size of a very large dog

essentially, she’s like Lafayette’s sister and will do anything and everything she can to protect him

Fun fact; he was one of the first students at Flilria

he was very young when he learned of his abilities

his family had gotten into a car accident that got his mother killed and he unconsciously called out to a family of bears that took him from away the incident

when little Laf finally got to Flilria, good ol’ Gwash became like a father to him 

in other words, they’re very close

Very much likes Hercules

that is all

he just likes him

a lot

he will protect him and love him 

it’s very cute and domestic and not angsty and goD I LOVE MULLETTE LET ME LIVE

[your-move-scherbatsky]

Casualty S31 rambling

OK so this is definitely a bit early, given that the series finale  isn't for another nine days, as I write this, but the past few days I've had various different conversations about the 30th anniversary year of Casualty and it's made me realise I have a lot of thoughts. So here goes... [maybe...I might not even have the confidence to post this anywhere]

I went into this series really struggling as a viewer, not because I had suddenly fallen out of love with my favourite show, or my favourite group of cast and crew, but because  my two favourite characters arguably of all time had just left within three months of each other, I think that would prove difficult for most people in all honesty, and trust me when I say if it had been any other show, I probably would have just given up. This was never an option here though!

I always love the start of a new series, because it feels all sparkly and new, but the start of S31 really did feel like reset  after  how brutal S30 was for me. It absolutely didn't disappoint, from the minute Iain crashed to earth in the helicopter [yes that was literally the defining moment for me] and I spent the remainder of  the episode thinking they were going to 'pull a Patrick in S16' and he was going to drop dead at any moment, and Lily was going to find him slumped in a corner somewhere, and wanting to scream that this wasn't fair, I knew it would all be OK.

The levels of nostalgia for me this series have been pretty intense too. The return of Duffy is the perfect exampe of this. Duffy was 7/8 year old Kirsty's favourite character, and 7/8 year old me was so sad when she left first time around. I wasn't overly fussed about her returns over the years, but having her back this time around has made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I don't know it just feels different from before. Duffy marrying Charlie was also a massive highlight of this series for me [and I hardcore shipped Baz&Charlie back when, I mean COME ON Everlasting Love], it just felt so right, and actually Duffy brings out a side in Charlie that I didn't really see before and I like it. I've also loved the returns of Josh, especially  the most recent one , when he brought up his family dying in the house fire, the history of this show has become so important to me these past 12 months! Incidently my favourite scene in the whole of the anniversary episode, is Charlie,Duffy and Josh standing on the stairs blocking Jacob's way. Whenever I say that to people who know me they always question me, and I get it, I mean I'm normally more likely to say Noel and his ice sculpture or Lily relentlessly persuing Iain to make sure he's  OK, but that scene in context is absolutely iconic. I just love it so much. I hope we can have Josh back on a bit more of a permanant basis cos honestly I'd love to see him in the ambulance with Iain.

I can't write this  without mentioning Lily&Iain. I walked into the anniversary episode a Lily&Ethan shipper, I walked out of it wanting nothing more then Lily&Iain to live happily ever after!It was like being slapped round the face by their obvious chemistry and countless times since I've wondered why I never saw it before. I can't believe there are two episodes left of this series, and apart from a very brief hook up they are still not together. I have loved all the almost moments so much though, from Gem  saying that they're obviously going to get together, and Iain flat out denying it, to Iain sitting at Lily's bedside telling her that if she survives they're going to be something special. Iain she survived, I am still waiting for you two to be something special, I believe they will be eventually, I don't want to think I wasted a year of my life invested in something that was only ever going to last two  episodes, as great as that hook up was! Some say it was inappropriate, I say they were just being more Cal! 

Whether together or seperately, there is no denying that Lily and Iain have been my absolute favourite thing about this series..I'll start with Iain... I've never actively disliked him, I mean he's pretty inoffensive as a character [if we forget the Rita stuff, and I really try to in all honesty], but in that moment when the helicopter crash landed with him in it, I realised just how much I loved the character, and how much I needed him to not be dead! I have absolutely loved getting to know more about his backstory this series, adding Gem as his little sister was an absolute highlight for me, and then when his mum arrived a couple of episodes later. It had never occured to me how little we actually knew about him until this happened. I hope we get to see both Gem and Kim again because there is definitly unfinished buisness there. Plus I want to know that Kim actually got the help she needed!As for Lily the evident character progression that has emerged this series has been one of my absolute favourite things of recent years, yeah I loved her from the moment she arrived, purely on the basis that I thought she was hilarious, but when you stop and think about it, and there have been several episodes this series where I really have done just that, she is basically the definition of character progression done right, and really subtly over time. The most defining moment  for me was when she told Iain that 'life doesn't run on plans'. This coming from the woman who when she arrived had a very definite five year plan, and nothing was going to deviate her from it.I have truly loved seeing the growth in Lily and long may it continue.#

Equally I can't write this, without mentioning Cal's death, I'm not sure that by the time it happened anyone was surprised it was  him, but the way in which it happened was pretty shocking. The episode was totally set up to make you think it was going to be Lily, and then BOOM Cal. I could never quite make up my mind about Cal, sometimes I really liked him, and sometimes I really hated him, but his death got to me way more then I thought it would, I think it was the other characters reactions though. Obviously Ethan [but more on him in a second], in the same way that I will never forget Dixie screaming Jeff's name when he died, I will never forget Ethan seeing Cal led there. Elle really got to me aswell though, I honestly don't think she gets anough praise as a character, her standing there telling Cal he would be OK and stroking his hair even though she knew  it probably wasn't going to be OK, broke me more then anything else apart from Ethan, and nobody ever really talks about that, which makes me sad.

So yeah Ethan, I spent a lot of this series kinda frustrated with him, mainly because I thought he deserved better then Alicia, who knew how he felt about her and still thought it was OK to go off with Cal, and I couldnt understand why he'd still want her after that, but the minute Cal died that all kinda went out the window. It's been nearly three months and I still can't imagine how Ethan is meant to live without his big brother, they didn't always have the best relationship but still. It's broken my heart seeing him so set on revenge, and oddly enough despite not really shipping it at all until this point, I was so very glad that in the beginning he didn't shut Alicia out,he let her be there for him, which I wasn't expecting. I hope she doesn't give up on him, because he needs someone.I really hope in S32 that Ethan can find some form of peace, I hope he gets justice in the right way for Cal, I REALLY hope he doesn't do anything he can't come back from in Saturday's episode.

Another storyline that really got to me this year was David's mental health issues, and the Robyn stuff that happened as a consequence of it. I thought it was so well done. David&Robyn are one of my favourite friendships on the show, and the  'graveyard episode' and Five Days are two of my favourites of the series. Watching the build up to David's breakdown was like knowing that a car crash was about to happen and being powerless to stop it, obviously as a viewer but also I think for some of the characters. One of the scenes that got to me the most was in 'It Starts with the Shoes', when David's son can see what's about to happen, but can't do anything about it, and David can see what's about to happen too, because he says something like 'next time I see you I'll be wearing the most boring shoes.' that really got me. We need his son to come back now. I also really love the end scene when Dylan talks to David, and basically asks him to go for treatment for him. Sometimes Dylan really surprises me and that was one of those moments. As a side note, I've really loved the Dylan&David friendship that's blossomed from that, and as much as Dylan is helping David 'to live', I like the role reversal that's gone on since Dylan has been struggling in the wake of Cal's death. As for Robyn, I'm so glad that she's finally back, but the episode Five Days is one of those episodes where you could cry from beginning to end if you wanted to! At the time I was convinced they were going to kill baby Charlotte [how glad am I that I was wrong], and that it would be  three thousand times more devastating because of the kind of character Robyn is, she's so sweet and innocent, and doesn't really mean any harm whatsoever, obviously it would  have been devastating for any character but I feel like she would have been the least equipped to  ever be able to come to terms with it, thankfully they didn't, and the very last scene had me actually sobbbing happy tears, with them all sat watching the video of Charlotte, they're such a family unit!

One of the other things I have truly loved this series, has been seeing Noel getting more stuff to do away from being sat behind reception all the time. I genuinely don't think I have ever laughed as much at something  in Casualty, as I did when Noel got so drunk on Charlie's stag night that he genuinely believed his name was Leslie!! It was getting towards the end of the episode though and I was also getting quite concerned that no-one was actually going to call him Noel again! In complete contrast though, It made me really sad for him when he thought he was going to lose his job and the machines were going to take over! I can't imagine a Casualty where Noel isn't there, and I hope I don't have to for a very long time in all honesty.

I'm going to end  with, I'm pretty sure that if I was writing this after the 29th July I would be including the One shot episode in this, but I wanted to write my thoughts down while I was feeling 'ALL THE THINGS' about Casualty. I always love my favourite show but just lately it feels more intense. I'm going to blame the 30th anniversary...

[astrofairies]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ lmao

i figured this wouldve happened 

i don’t like chocolate ice cream alone. i will only eat it if theres something else in it (brownie, cookie dough, etc etc.)

that being said, i only like chocolate milkshakes. i will never ask for a vanilla milkshake

that also being said, my favorite ice cream flavor is cookie dough

my favorite animal is an elephant. i will take any chance i get to talk about elephants, and my backpack and water bottle both have elephants on them.

i love creative writing, but i rarely get a chance to write for fun anymore

that being said, i love writing essays for school because it gives me a chance to write something.

i’m studying psychology in college. i dont know what my minor will be yet.

my favorite thing about psychology is understanding others without them having to tell me. i like to know what is going on in someone’s head. i think it helps me better interact with them. 

i’ve only had one job so far in my life, but ive had it for 5 years now. 

i only just got into makeup within the last year. now i cant seem to stop buying it.

every year for christmas and on my birthday my uncle/godfather gives me a $100 amazon giftcard. i only ever use this money to buy books, nothing else. i’ve been doing this for years (therefore i never run out of money)

i can’t eat oats

for about 4 years i did everything i could to curl my hair without using a curling iron bc i couldnt figure out how to use it. i still dont know how to use one, but i use a curling wand now

contrary to popular belief (as people keep asking me), ive never had a boyfriend or have had my first kiss yet. its weird living in a small town bc you grew up with everyone, so i rather not date them, you know?

yet, when it comes to what i find attractive in guys, i usually look for intelligence (look at my gemini venus ass). intelligence to me means good conversation and a wit (which i severely lack)

i love my sun/moon/rising placements and i probably wouldn’t change them for the world

that being said, i actually felt really bad about being a gemini sun for quite some time bc of all the gemini hate memes. but im over that bc being a gemini is pretty fucking great???

i’ll repeat this, as i’ve said it before: i am the farthest thing from funny. however, i laugh at everything 

i don’t get along with my mother at all. 

my favorite season is spring by a long-shot

i found out the other day i can only bowl with my right hand, even though im left handed 

with that, its fair to say that i have no hand-eye coordination what so ever. this is why i did horseback riding for nine years. 

 i dont ever share full body images (just haven’t had a chance) but i’m only 5′1

i hate soda. not for the taste, but the carbonation. it makes my tongue burn. 

i can read and write in spanish fairly well, but i can’t speak it or understand it when spoken to me

i believe i’ve only less than movies in the theater that weren’t disney related

i’ve never traveled outside of the u.s.

that being said, i’ve only been to 9 other states 

that’s because i’ve gone to disney world once year since i could walk (well for the most part)

i think everyone has bad luck with at least one thing. for my brother, it’s phones (he’s broken 4 phones in the last 3 years). for me, it’s laptops. they just seem to crash and burn for me

one of my requirements for when i have my own place is i need to live within a short distance of a bookstore. 

my dream how also has a balcony and a wrap around porch (or an alcove with a window seat)

 i’m not a math and science person at all. i’ve always been more into english/history/social sciences

i really want to visit italy, germany, greece, and hawai’i

i can’t cook to save my life, but i can bake fairly well (so ive been told)

i get along best with libras and arians 

when i was in middle school i had a club penguin blog 

i also used to rp a lot with lonny and some other people. we started on a website called xat with some friends, and then we moved onto a tumblr rp for quite some time...

speaking of which, i’ve been on tumblr for six years

when i first started my personal tumblr, i would always reblog disney things (wow what a surprise), but then i moved into ‘quality photos’ and other bs, until finally settling on to reblog whatever makes me happy

i cannot keep a plant alive to save my life

i don’t like roller coasters that have loops in them. this is bc when i was little and i was watching jimmy neutron sheen and carl got stuck upside down in one. it stuck with me apparently. 

i am a fairly shy person in my opinion. despite that, i was also part of my high school’s news broadcasting station as well as in the school musical for four years. 

i was obsessed with webkinz when i was little. i think last i checked i had about 50?

im really bad at throwing away/donating stuff, because everything has some sort of sentimental value to me

i’ve never been good at journaling. this is because im bad at keeping new habits

as much as i love reading, i hated assigned reading for school. but, my favorite book was the secret life of bees by sue monk kidd

i hate wearing skirts/dresses. i own a few dresses, but i have not owned a skirt since middle school. 

i prefer vegetables to fruit, even though i prefer sweet things. 

my “artistic medium” is writing. i can draw, but not well (my high school art teacher made that pretty clear). i would definitely consider writing to be my medium over singing as well (though i do love singing)

i’m awful at giving advice to people, or comforting people for that matter. however, i will always listen, no matter what i’m doing. 

i hate running. nothing else, i just really hate it

oh by the way, i’m left handed. no one else in my immediate family is tho

i cannot sleep with any noise going on in the background. no tv, no music, no talking, nada. nothing.

that being said, i also can’t sleep anywhere but a bed. i can just barely fall asleep on a couch, but forget about sleeping in a car or at school.

i get terrible car sickness. i have to sit in the front seat and i have to look at the road. i cannot read/look at my phone in a car without getting nauseous.

for every ‘⭐️’ i get, i will post a fact about myself!

[perspectivepodcast]

[Transcript] Side A: Climate Change

This episode was inspired by a conversation with a dear friend, Ajla. Because sometimes the best thoughts are only found thanks to the help of someone who’ll have enough love to rummage through the garbage in your mind and believe they’ll find something meaningful much more than you ever will.

In 1973, Dr. William Rathje, archaeologist and professor of anthropology at the University of Arizona, instituted the Tucson Garbage Project, also referred to as the ‘garbology project’. This was an archaeological and sociological study, carried on in the city of Tucson, Arizona, with the aim of examining the contents of Tucson residents' waste to examine patterns of consumption.

The funny thing was that although many residents volunteered to contribute to the project by sharing their consumption habits, the study made clear that the information shared by the participants were oftentimes not consistent with the quantitative data analyzed from the waste bins. For example, when asked about the number of beers they usually drank, participants tended to self-report more restrained alcohol consumption habits than their actual behavior. That is, if they had declared they drank two beers per week, it wasn’t rare that ten beers were found in the garbage every week.

Is it possible that throwing our waste away can be more similar to hiding what we ourselves don’t want to see about ourselves?

When I first found out about this project, it reminded me of a passage of Don DeLillo’s novel White Noise.

‘No one was around. I walked across the kitchen, opened the compactor drawer and looked inside the trash bag. An oozing cube of semi-mingled cans, clothes hangers, animal bones and other refuse. The bottles were broken, the cartons flat. Product colors were undiminished in brightness and intensity. Fats, juices and heavy sludges seeped through layers of pressed vegetable matter. I felt like an archaeologist about to sift through a finding of tool fragments and assorted cave trash. It was about ten days since Denise had compacted the Dylar. That particular round of garbage had almost certainly been taken outside and collected by now. Even if it hadn’t, the tablets had surely been demolished by the compactor ram.

These facts were helpful in my efforts to believe that I was merely passing time, casually thumbing through the garbage.

I unfolded the bag cuffs, released the latch and lifted out the bag. The full stench hit me with shocking force. Was this ours? Did it belong to us? Had we created it? I took the bag out to the garage and emptied it. The compressed bulk sat there like an ironic modern sculpture, massive, squat, mocking. I jabbed at it with the butt end of a rake and then spread the material over the concrete floor. I picked through it item by item, mass by shapeless mass, wondering why I felt guilty, a violator of privacy, uncovering intimate and perhaps shameful secrets. It was hard not to be distracted by some of the things they’d chosen to submit to the Juggernaut appliance. But why did I feel like a household spy? Is garbage so private? Does it glow at the core with personal heat, with signs of one’s deepest nature, clues to secret yearnings, humiliating flaws? What habits, fetishes, addictions, inclinations? What solitary acts, behavioral ruts? I found crayon drawings of a figure with full breasts and male genitals. There was a long piece of twine that contained a series of knots and loops. It seemed at first a random construction. Looking more closely I thought I detected a complex relationship between the size of the loops, the degree of the knots (single or double) and the intervals between knots with loops and freestanding knots. Some kind of occult geometry or symbolic festoon of obsessions. I found a banana skin with a tampon inside. Was this the dark underside of consumer consciousness?’

Sometimes I wonder: we are a consumer society, therefore our social ambition is to produce only with the aim of consuming what we produce. Does this mean that one day, when our consumer society will thankfully be over and done with, there will be no remnant of our time, of our society, apart from the waste we left behind? Will we be the ones who created nothing but refuse, who couldn’t create anything for the sake of creating something that would outlive us, and maybe speak about us and what we wanted to be remembered for?

One of the reasons why garbology in general, and the Tucson Garbage Project specifically, are a major source of information on the nature and changing patterns of human society, is because for those populations that did not leave any buildings, or writing, or tombs, or trade goods, or pottery, refuse and trash are likely to be the only possible sources of information.

Is it possible that waste, our symbolic festoon of obsessions, be they more or less toxic, will be the only contribution, the only sign of our existence that we will leave for the future? Do we really care in the least about what we leave as a sign of our passage on this planet?

It’s tempting to believe that death could be something spectacular. Funeral pyres, ship burials, fireworks. But that’s rarely how it is. Most often, it’s just a slow, gradual, unpleasant and unremarkable gnawing of all that is life. An unobtrusive agony. A forgetting, piece after piece after piece. A consumption. (The irony.)

I went out the other day and it was mid-February, in the Northern hemisphere. It was almost 20°C. It was beautiful. It was disturbing.

In another passage of White Noise, after a deadly toxic gas had leaked over the town the main character lives in, the sunsets became unnaturally spectacular.

‘We stopped on the parkway overpass and got out to look at the sunset. Ever since the airborne toxic event, the sunsets had become almost unbearably beautiful. Not that there was a measurable connection. If the special character of Nyodene Derivative (added to the everyday drift of effluents, pollutants, contaminants and deliriants) had caused this aesthetic leap from already brilliant sunsets to broad towering ruddled visionary skyscapes, tinged with dread, no one had been able to prove it.’

Later in the novel, the main character describes how gathering on the overpass to watch these newly dramatic sunsets had become a sort of ritual for the people of the town.

‘We go to the overpass all the time. Babette, Wilder and I. We take a thermos of iced tea, park the car, watch the setting sun. Clouds are no deterrent. Clouds intensify the drama, trap and shape the light. Heavy overcasts have little effect. Light bursts through, tracers and smoky arcs. Overcasts enhance the mood. We find little to say to each other. More cars arrive, parking in a line that extends down to the residential zone. People walk up the incline and onto the overpass, carrying fruit and nuts, cool drinks, mainly the middle-aged, the elderly, some with webbed beach chairs which they set out on the sidewalk, but younger couples also, arm in arm at the rail, looking west. The sky takes on content, feeling, and exalted narrative life. The bands of color reach so high, seem at times to separate into their constituent parts. There are turreted skies, light storms, softly falling streamers. It is hard to know how we should feel about this. Some people are scared by the sunsets, some determined to be elated, but most of us don’t know how to feel, are ready to go either way. Rain is no deterrent. Rain brings on graded displays, wonderful running hues. More cars arrive, people come trudging up the incline. The spirit of these warm evenings is hard to describe. There is anticipation in the air but it is not the expectant midsummer hum of a shirtsleeve crowd, a sandlot game, with coherent precedents, a history of secure response. This waiting is introverted, uneven, almost backward and shy, tending toward silence. What else do we feel? Certainly there is awe, it is all awe, it transcends previous categories of awe, but we don’t know whether we are watching in wonder or dread, we don’t know what we are watching or what it means, we don’t know whether it is permanent, a level of experience to which we will gradually adjust, into which our uncertainty will eventually be absorbed, or just some atmospheric weirdness, soon to pass. The collapsible chairs are yanked open, the old people sit. What is there to say? The sunsets linger and so do we. The sky is under a spell, powerful and storied. Now and then a car actually crosses the overpass, moving slowly, deferentially. People keep coming up the incline, some in wheelchairs, twisted by disease, those who attend them bending low to push against the grade. I didn’t know how many handicapped and helpless people there were in town until the warm nights brought crowds to the overpass. Cars speed beneath us, coming from the west, from out of the towering light, and we watch them as if for a sign, as if they carry on their painted surfaces some residue of the sunset, a barely detectable luster or film of telltale dust. No one plays a radio or speaks in a voice that is much above a whisper. Something golden falls, a softness delivered to the air. There are people walking dogs, there are kids on bikes, a man with a camera and long lens, waiting for his moment. It is not until some time after dark has fallen, the insects screaming in the heat, that we slowly begin to disperse, shyly, politely, car after car, restored to our separate and defensible selves.’

Perhaps, when the archaeologists of the future will rummage in the garbage we will have left behind to give some sign of what it was to live the way we lived, what they’ll find is that we were just too overwhelmed to do or know or feel anything. Too lost to understand, or even just to listen.

A couple of years ago, I saw this work from the Japanese artist Shimabuku. The title was The Snow Monkeys of Texas, and this was the artist’s statement:

‘When I visited the monkey mountain in Kyoto in 1992, I heard an interesting story. In 1972, a group of Japanese snow monkeys were brought from the mountains of Kyoto to a Texas desert. The first year, their numbers reduced dramatically. They didn’t know how to live in the desert with cactus, cougars or rattlesnakes. But in the second year, their population grew. Do monkeys adapt to new environments faster than people do? I wanted to go and meet them someday. In 2016, I finally visited them in Texas. I saw that they looked a bit Americanized, somehow. They are a bit bigger, and started to eat cactus. Now they know how to deal with the cougars and rattlesnakes. They have a new language to alert each other. When I spent few days with them under the Texan sun, I decided to make a mountain with ice for them. I filled a car full of ice bags. And I wondered, do they remember snow mountains?’

The video installation showed this group of snow monkeys observing and smelling and touching and playing and sitting on the ice for the first time. I believe it is important to note that the snow monkeys had been sent to Texas in 1972 due to habitat loss around Kyoto, that is when the monkeys became pests to businesses and residents of Kyoto, perforating the barrier between wild and urban spaces.

‘They come one by one. Some monkeys wanted to keep the ice to themselves, then they got bored,’ Shimabuku observed of the 22-minute video. ‘Some shared. Some were bossy […] like people.’ The snow became a forbidden fruit with many monkeys grabbing a handful and running off. But most of them nervously nibbled nearby with a shifting gaze. ‘I didn’t expect them to eat it. [In Japan] they eat flowers, trees and insects. But it is new for them to eat rattlesnake and cactus.’ When asked why it was important to test if monkeys remembered their place of origin, Shimabuku laughed and said, ‘maybe it is not important. Memory is a bridge between animals and people. […] Memory can be at a cellular level. The monkeys looked at the ice and they grabbed it. Some hadn’t seen ice for generations, and still they reacted spontaneously,’ noted Shimabuku.

I wonder if we already are Shumabuku’s snow monkeys, struggling to remember how we were supposed to live after alienating ourselves from ourselves, not knowing what to do, what to know, what to feel in the face of our own nature, a nature we only reluctantly admit to belong to.

Perhaps, the answers already are in the festoon of obsessions we are so careful to hide away in the dumps. If we were brave enough, if we had love enough to go and rummage in the garbage of our civilization believing we could find something meaningful in there, something deserving to be saved, perhaps we could find one good thought to build a future on.