#note: this post was accidentally put in drafts a while back and is just now being added to the queue now that it's been found. whoops!

[cluster-b-culture-is]

cluster b culture is sending an ask to a tumblr and then getting scared when they don't respond immediately. like. did i do something wrong? do you hate me? oh god they hate me they're angry at me they hate me

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[myleelovesfood]

Say please pt. 4

Warnings: cussing.

Genre: angst, angst angst and you guessed it.. angst.

Authors note: you guys I might be able to write a little bit more since I’m free this weekend so we’ll see ;) and if you saw the draft I accidentally posted… no you didn’t.

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6 months! 6 entire months had gone by and I still hadn’t told Jey, I haven’t talked to Trinity or anyone associated with work for that matter. I was isolating myself away from the world and I still haven’t told my boss why I have been gone for so long. My phone was always on do not disturb so no one from work could reach me. I was just under loads of pressure and stress that I had completely forgotten about doctors appointment. I hurriedly put some clothes on grabbed my keys and rushed out of the door.

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Jey’s POV:

“Man Uce Im fr I legit think that the royal rumble might have something to do w-” before jimmy could finish his sentence Trinity came into the room looking stressed. “Damn bae what’s wrong witchu?” Jimmy asked with a look of concern and his voiced laced with a hint of playfulness. “Fantasia isn’t answering the phone still!” Trinity said to Jimmy. “Babe I think she still needs some time you know with what she has going on-” “but 6 Whole months!?” Trinity interrupted him again. “Woah woah back up what the fuck is wrong with Fantasia?” Jey asked a look of concern etched across his face. “She still hasn’t told you?” Trinity asked. “Told me what?” Jey said whilst picking up a water bottle. “I don’t think I can keep hiding this from him Trin and Fantasia isn’t gonna tell him anytime soon.” Jimmy said as he got up and went over to Trinity and she nodded. “Jey do you remember when you and Tasia hooked up on the night we all stayed at that hotel..?” She asked slowly. “Yeah why?” Jey asked while taking a sip of his water. “Fanny is pregnant Jey.” Jey chocked on his water. “Fantasia is what?!” Jey yelled. “Shhhhhh! She’s pregnant and we don’t know where she is it’s been 6 months since I last saw her!” Trinity said. “What the fuck do you mean you haven’t seen her in six months?!” Jey yelled. “I gotta go. Now.” Jey said while he grabbed his keys and his jacket. “Wait we’re coming too!” Jimmy said as he grabbed his jacket and Trinity did the same rushing out the door and into Jeys car. “How could you guys not get into contact with her in 6 whole months?! She’s pregnant for crying out loud!” Jey yelled as he pulled out of the parking lot. “I’ve been trying it’s like she blocked me or her phone is on Do not Disturb!” Trinity said in the back seat while jimmy tried calming Jey down. “Aye chill uce it’s cool we’ll find her.” He said. Jey couldn’t focus on his words his mind was running wild with thoughts on how you’re doing and if the baby is ok. Sooner than later they made it to Fanny’s house and Jey banged on the door. “Fanny! Baby it’s me please open the door!” He yelled. “I don’t think anyone’s home Jey her car isn’t in the driveway.” Trinity said but Jey ignored her words. He looked under the mat for any key and he found the one I left under there in case of an emergency. He picked it up and unlocked the door and started raiding the house for Fanny and soon everyone was around the big house calling her name and looking for her.

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Meanwhile..

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Things at the doctors office wasn’t looking so well for Fantasia either. “Ms Nicole I’m ready for you.” Dr Warren said peeping her head out of her room. I stood up and headed for the door to the room. Once inside she checked my heart beat and a bunch of other things to make sure that me and the baby were ok and after those check ups she sat me down. “You ready to know the sex?” She said with a smile on her face. “Yeah it’s not like I’m throwing a party anyway.” I laughed it off. “Ok and she’s a girl.” Dr Warren said with a smile but soon it faded. “That’s amazing why do you look so down is she ok?” I asked concern etched across my face. “Yes she’s fine but you aren’t. Fantasia I’m diagnosing you with Preeclampsia it’s pretty common in pregnant woman and in your case if you have this baby you may die.” She said with a deep unreadable expression on her face. I was taken aback by her shocking news. “I-I don’t know what to say..I’ll die after I have my baby?” I asked. “That is if you choose to have her-” “of course. I’ll do it.” I said a look of pain and bravery laced in my voice. “Fantasia are you sure?” She said. “Yes ma’am I’m positive. And if there isn’t anything else I need to get home.” I said as I slowly got up and off on the chair I was sitting on and dr Warren was quick to help me. “Fantasia you are a Dear friend of mine. Imagine how many people you’ll hurt if you do this!” She said. “I know Luna and it’ll all be worth it as long as my baby girl lives.” I looked at her with a consoling expression as I watched the tears run down her face. “Shhhh don’t cry it’s ok.” I hugged her. “It’s gonna be ok. I promise.” I said soothing her. I’ve gotta get home Luna but I promise I won’t be late for my check up next week!” I said while grabbing my things and blowing her a kiss. “Bye Fantasia and promise you won’t be late!” She yelled and I playfully waved my hand while walking to my car. Once inside that was when I could let all of my emotions out. I cried until my throat felt sore. I called my momma and asked her if I could come over to her house and spend a couple of nights over and of course she said yes. I pulled out of the offices driveway and started my route to home so I could pack my bags.

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Meanwhile with Trinity, Jey and Jimmy.

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“We’ve searched top to bottom Uce. She’s not here.” Jimmy said to his twin hoping he’ll listen to him. “We could come back tomorrow but I think we should leave.” Trinity said with a consoling look on her face. “Yeah I guess you guys are right let’s get up outta here.” Jey said as he grabbed his keys and the extra one and locked the door and slipped that key back under the mat before leaving. And about five minutes after they left Fantasia was back home and packing clothes up for her moms. She packed sweaters shoes toiletries and a more outfits, after she did she grabbed her keys and left the house again.

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“Momma?! I yelled from the entrance. “Come on in baby! It’s so cold out there!” My mom yelled from the kitchen. “Oh my! Are you hungry did you eat you know you’re carrying my grand baby so you’ve got to eat something!” She hurriedly spoke. “I am pretty hungry mom but not right now I just need a shower please.” I said exhaustion in my tone as I threw my bags on the couch. My mom and sisters were the only people I had been talking to since I last seen Trinity or Jey or anyone. “Ok well you get comfortable and I’m gonna make you some broccoli and shrimp Alfredo.” She said as she whipped out a bunch of pots and pans. “Thanks mommy and is Francesca here?” I say referring to my little sister. “She should be upstairs so you can go say hi to her.” My mom said as she boiled the water for the pasta. “I slowly walked up the stairs and headed to my little sisters room. “Knock knock!” I say as I open the door and see my sister braiding her hair. “Fantasia!” She squealed as she ran up to me and hugged me. “Hi bug! Where’s Florence?” I asked referring to my other little sister. “She’s in the shower she’ll be out in a second.” She says as she goes back to her vanity to finish braiding her hair. “I need one too so I’ll just take one downstairs.” I say as I close her door and grab my pajamas so I could shower. After my much needed shower I talked to my other sister Florence and we all came downstairs and ate dinner together. After dinner we all cuddled up on the couch and watched movies together for the rest of the night.

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How was I going to tell them..?

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THE END☹️

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OK BUT LISTEN THIS TOOK FOREVER 😒

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Credits to the owners of all pictures these aren’t mine!

I do not allow my work to be taken copied or translated on any other platform including this one!

Likes, comments and reblogs are MOST appreciated 💋

[ladylooch]

Lucie's POV of Mack Leaving

This one realllllly got away from me, thus the separate post. I never know what header image to put in these types of circumstances but considering it's Lucie's POV I'm giving it Lucie and Connor's pic.

Anyways, this has been in my drafts for a long time.... hope you enjoy this extra layer of Mack dashing out of New York.

From this request

Word Count: 3.1k

Note: Mack and Lucie are talking in Swiss German a lot in this. IT is marked as such in italics.

Lucie Wood stares blankly down at the skillet of scrambled eggs cooking on the stove. While the yellow peaks continue to form, Lucie vividly replays the conversation her and her husband had with David Carlson over a year ago. She thought they had been crystal clear with David to not get involved with her younger sister. It had nothing to do with being worried about Mack and everything to do with concern for David.

The conversation came shortly after Mack and David spent a majority of Stella’s birthday party snipping and huffing at each other. Connor and Lucie had been sharing glances at the non-stop, harmless bickering. Mack was trying to be on her best behavior for Stella’s day, but David found every single one of her buttons and pressed just to watch her squirm. Mack finally threw in the towel, literally, when David kept accidentally jostling her shoulder while they were cleaning the hand wash only dishes.

Connor and Lucie hugged Mack goodbye, then sat at the counter watching David finish on his own.

“Lose the shit eating grin.” Connor advises to his defensive partner when he comes back from seeing Mack out to her car.

“What?” David asks innocently, white suds collecting up his forearms.

“She’s not for you.” Connor shakes his head, sitting back on his barstool at the kitchen counter.

“She doesn’t know she’s for me yet…” David insists, smiling as he rubs the sponge over a serving platter.

“She likes being single and unattached.”

“For now.” David laughs.

“David, Connor is right. Mack is not a relationship girl.” Lucie warns. “She likes the freedom of not bring tied down. Also, she’s a little mean. I love her. But she’s mean, especially when backed into a corner like you keep doing to her. If I were you, I would steer very clear.” 

“Are you telling me I can’t try?” David pops an eyebrow at Lucie. His gaze also slides to Connor, including him in on that question.

“We don’t want you to get hurt.” Lucie bites her bottom lip. David was very clear that he was done with hook ups when he returned to New York after the previous summer. He drawled about it being time to simmer down and wait for his future wife.

The thought of David thinking Mack was his future wife had Lucie breaking out in a sweat. This was bound to end poorly. 

Lucie was telling the truth about not wanting David to get hurt, but also it was all a bit self-involved. If things kept trending in this direction with Mack and David, it was hard to imagine there not being a volcanic eruption between the two of them where everyone got burned.

“And then it did.” Lucie mutters to herself presently, shoving the eggs around in the pan with force.

Even though she knew this was going to happen, Lucie was surprised when Connor came home two days ago with the news that something was brewing with Mack and David. A storm had formed quickly and now Hurricane Mack was steamrolling out into the Atlantic. Typical boy, he had no actual details for her and then Mack went radio silent. Her sister hasn’t responded to a single text, DM, phone call, or SOS sent by Lucie in almost 48 hours. 

Lucie is worried about her sister, but she is also hurt. If what Connor was saying is true, and Mack is running, David isn’t the only one she is running out on. For Mack to not acknowledge that has a pinch forming in Lucie’s nose.

“How are you feeling?” Connor asks Lucie, breaking her away from the eggs. 

“Upset.” She says even though she knows Connor was inquiring about her morning sickness. 

“The eggs are burning, babe.” He says as he stands up from his chair and begins walking over to her. 

“Shoot.” Lucie sighs. 

“I got it. Go sit down. You’re already doing important work.” His hand crawls across her abdomen before he takes the hot pan from her. Lucie puts both hands on her face, scrubbing at her skin as she sighs.

“I can’t believe Mack left.” 

“Eh, you can. I think we all can.” Connor shrugs. Lucie can tell he is purposefully keeping his face neutral. He’s between a rock and a hard place right now with the players being his best friend on the team and the girl he considers a little sister in every sense of the word.

“I’m sorry. This is probably hard for you.” She acknowledges. Her hands go to his bare back, tracing the etched muscles there comfortingly. He shrugs his large shoulders, causing Lucie’s hands to fall down to his hips.

“We love them both.” He says as Lucie’s phone begins to chime out across the kitchen.

She walks over to her phone, swiping across the home screen to reveal a text from her mom.

Any idea why your sister is home?

“Didn’t you say Mack told David she was going to Ireland?” Lucie verifies with Connor.

“Ya.” Connor answers on his walk back from the fridge with fresh eggs.

“She’s home…” Lucie trails off.

“I don’t know. That’s what David said to me yesterday.”

Lucie walks over to the couch with her phone in her hand. Mack in Switzerland and not on assignment is… unlike her. The anger and frustration she had a minute ago, begins to bleed away, being replaced by worry. Ugh, why can’t Mack just answer her damn phone? If Lucie could talk to her-

“Babe.” Connor calls to her from the kitchen. Lucie turns her brown eyes to him. He leans against the counter by the stove, arms crossed over his thick, bare chest. Lucie’s pregnancy hormones alert in her body. She could take him down in that kitchen in under five seconds. But then he begins to cautiously shake his head at her. “Get your butt out of this. Your sister has been running from something for a long time. It’s time for her to figure this out on her own.” 

Easy for the only child to say.

Lucie is an eldest sister. They aren’t built to leave things like this to chance or fate or stubborn middle children who have no idea what they are throwing away.

“If I tell my dad, he’ll go talk to her.” Lucie reasons to Connor. “He will know what to say.” Her husband rubs at his chin with his thumb. “I won’t technically be that involved.” He gives a resolved nod then turns away to finish her eggs as she dials her dad’s number.

Nico answers on the first ring and Lucie switches to Swiss German.

“Mack is home?” Lucie asks him.

“Ah, well, she’s at the cabin.” Nico responds in English. “Mama is with me.” It’s Lucie’s cue to switch too. Well, there goes her plan to keep her husband in the dark.

“Hi mama.”

“Hi Luc.” 

“So you haven’t seen her?”

“We saw her on the cameras yesterday. I texted her and she insisted she was fine.” Lucie can’t help but scoff. She’s fine? How could she be? Where does she get off ditching town and leaving a trail of destruction in her damn path? “What’s going on?” Her mom sighs.

“Mack broke things off with David because she’s an utter moron.”

“Luc.” Connor sighs from the kitchen behind her. “This does not sound like staying out of it.” Lucie ignores him.

“I don’t know what the hell happened to her that she thinks running from any sort of feeling is the right choice, but she took off like a bat out of hell. She didn’t even tell us she was leaving. Just packed her shit up from David’s place and headed off to the airport. She was supposed to be going to Ireland on assignment, so news to all of us left in her wake her that she is in Switzerland.”

Nico sighs heavily like he is already tired.

“Have you talked to her?” Lexi questions.

“No!” Lucie snaps angrily. “She won’t answer me. I’m about to sic Sophie on her.” It is one thing for Mack to avoid Lucie. It would be another thing entirely for her to avoid the youngest Hischier.

“If Mack wants space, we should give that to her.” Nico says wisely through the phone. “If we back her into a conversation, it could go sideways, fast.”

“Not if you’re the other part of that conversation…” Lucie suggests.

“I don’t really want to get involved here, Luc. Mack is an adult. She can make her own choices.”

“She’s making the wrong ones. You and mama were up my butt when I pulled stuff like this!”

“You were under our roof then. Also this is a far cry from the night you almost spent in jail.” Lucie puffs out in frustration. Behind her, she swears she can hear Connor snicker under his breath. When she glares over her shoulder at him, all she can see is his back at the stove scraping her eggs onto a plate. Her parents were so strict with her as the oldest and so lax when it comes to her younger sisters. The trend continues even now into adulthood. 

“I think someone should get eyes on her…” Lexi fills in after a few moments of tense silence. “I worry about what may be going through her mind right now.” It is rare for her mom to disagree with her dad. The fact that her mom is worried makes Lucie’s frustrations shift back to unease. 

“She’s not thinking right, daddy.” Lucie says quietly, thickening her words. “You haven’t seen them together like I have.” Her voice slowly drops into a whisper as she picks at pilled cotton on her sweatpants. “They’re good together. The best. Something is wrong for Mack to be running.”

“Are we sure David hasn’t… done something?” Nico wonders uncomfortably.

“He wouldn’t do anything that would make him lose her.” Lucie insists. “He’s so good, daddy. To her. To us. To everyone. It’s who he is in his core.” 

“Alright.” Nico seemingly agrees. “I’ll pack a bag and head up there.” 

After a few more minutes, the call ends so Nico can start the trek through the mountains. Lucie types away on her phone, responding to Sophie text about why is Mackie being weird? Along with a screenshot of Mack’s one word, text responses.Lucie keeps it vague, not wanting to stir the pot more than she has already. But also to save Sophie from some of this worry floating through the family. She still wants to protect both her sisters as much as possible from the storm. Connor comes around the back of the couch, passing the plate of eggs over her shoulder. He also toasted some wheat bread for her and put her favorite strawberry jam on top. 

“I love you.” She sighs, happily taking the plate from him.

“I love you too even though you can’t help yourself.” He drops a kiss on her puckered lips.

“I’m trying to help. I promise I have good intentions, babe.”

“I know.” Connor sighs like he’s resigned to it. At this point in their marriage, he knows it’s no use standing in front of Lucie. She’s a freight train when she puts her mind to something and getting in the way only causes more damage.

Connor doesn’t say anything else, but gets to work on cleaning up the kitchen. 

Lucie begins tentatively eating her eggs, hoping to avoid a morning sickness episode.

“We did warn him…” Lucie says quietly.

“Yeah.” Connor says with a frustrated huff. “But the heart wants what it wants.”

Lucie knows Connor is talking about David.

But right now, she can’t fathom how Mack’s heart couldn’t want David’s back. 

- - -

Lucie isn’t surprised to see Mack outside of her door after the boys head to practice following their reunion dinner the night before. As stubborn and avoidant as Mack can be, she also recognizes when it’s better to rip the bandaid off than continuing to suffer. 

“Stella is here.” Lucie says in Swiss German. “And I want to swear at you so stick here.”

“No cash for the lego jar?”

“Not enough.” Lucie gives her sister a displeased grin. Mack grimaces.

“Okay.” 

“What are you saying!?” Stella asks as she bounds over to Mack’s knees. She clutches both of them in her hands and Mack pretends like she’s going to fall over.

“It’s adult time, baby.” Lucie says to her daughter. “What movie are we going to watch next? Moana is over.” She distracts Stella who bounces back into the living room to flip through Disney+. 

It takes sometime for the two sisters to settle in enough to begin their conversation. Stella wants help picking a movie from Mack. Lucie disappears down the hall then comes back dressed for the day. Mack helps herself to a coffee then sits down on the couch across from Lucie. Lucie studies her sister, saying nothing, waiting for Mack to start this. She was the one who showed up at her door. She can take the first steps on the bridge.

“I’m sorry.” Lucie purses her lips, narrowing her eyes. “I am, Luc. I freaked out. I didn’t have the capacity to come down here and explain all my reasonings as I was spiraling.” 

“What about the days after that?”

Mack pauses, staring at Lucie.

“You were too close to him.” Mack admits. Lucie scoffs.

“I’m your sister. Not his.”

“I also knew you were going to be so mad at me, which was fair. But I didn’t want to deal with it when I was trying to…” Mack trails off, looking down at her fingers. She chips at a piece of her thumb nail. “Process, I guess.” 

“I’m still mad at you, Mack.” Lucie says honestly. “I am so mad that you ran. That you bolted out of here and hurt someone I care about. I’m mad that you put Connor in a tough position at his job. I’m upset because I wanted to tell you I’m pregnant again in a completely different way, but instead it is what it is now. I’m mad that you had no problem texting Sophie back but didn’t get me the same fucking respect. I love you. But you’ve hurt a lot of people I love in the last few weeks. A lot of people who love you too. So quit with these timid explanations and tell me what happened.”

“I got scared.” Mack blurts. “I got so afraid of how in love with him I am. He’s perfect. You’re right. You’ve always been right about that. And who the hell am I to be the person that he loves? I don’t deserve that. Fuck, I came back and he wasn’t even mad anymore. He forgave me the minute he saw me. I deserve that person? The girl who is allergic to love? No. I don’t.”

Silence fills the room.

“Mackie…” Lucie sighs, feeling tears sting her eyes.

“What if he wakes up five, ten, fifteen years from now and thinks ‘I wish I had picked someone else’. Its terrifying, Lucie. To be someone’s forever. That’s a lot of faith in one person.”

“Mack.” Lucie opens her arms to her sister. Mack crawls over and face plants into her chest. Lucie ignores the protesting of her squished, pregnancy boobs, squeezing her little sister tight to her chest. “You see yourself with him in fifteen years?”

“I only see myself with him. It’s like life before him doesn’t exist anymore and fuck anything after him.” 

“I wanna snuggle!” Stella insists, worming her way up onto the couch. Mack opens her arms up and takes Stella’s weight onto her frame. Her little hand smears Mack’s tears across her cheeks. “It’s okay! We can call Uncle Davey and he will make it better.” This makes more tears fall from Mack’s eyes but she nods to her niece.

“He’s good at that, huh?”

“Being loved by you is a gift, Mack.” Lucie murmurs. “He is lucky and even better, he knows it. But you have some work to do that has nothing to do with him.” Mack nods in agreement.

“I have a monster in me.”

“We all do.” Lucie murmurs.  “But it’s ours to love and hold and acknowledge so it doesn’t take over our decisions. We can’t run from that part of us. Because it will keep showing up, usually when we really don’t want it to.”

“I love you, Lulu.” Mack sighs, running her fingers through Stella’s hair. 

“I love you too.” Lucie places her hand on Mack’s back to scratch it in comfort. “And for the record, I love David too, but you’re my sister. If he hurt you, I would kill him.” 

“End his hockey career, no?” Mack chuckles.

“I said what I said and I meant it.” Lucie huffs.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. And took your pregnancy announcement. I am very excited for you guys. Connor must be over the moon?”

“So excited. He’s been trying to get me pregnant for three years.” Lucie chuckles. “I am too. This one,” Lucie taps Stella’s head. “Struggling a bit with the concept.”

“She doesn’t know the gift of a sibling yet, but she will.” Mack murmurs. 

“I can’t imagine life without you and Soph.”

“Might be easier?”

“No.” Lucie chuckles. “A lot more boring. And having all of mom and dad’s attention would be hell.” Mack laughs. 

“So, you called dad to tell him as payback?” 

“No. I called him because I knew he would know what to say. Like he has with me over the years, especially the times I didn’t want to hear it.” 

“He is annoyingly good at this kind of stuff.”

“Yeah.” Lucie sighs, switching to English. “Wanna go get some food? I’m craving a cheeseburger.”

“Sure.” Mack agrees, sitting up and pulling Stella with her. “Wanna go to McDonalds?” Mack asks, wiggling her eyebrows at her niece.

“Yeah!!!!!!” She sprints off the couch, running down to her room to grab her shoes.

On their journey for a cheeseburger, Stella walks between the two sisters, hand tucked in each of theirs as she babbles about all the plans she has for Connor when he gets back from practice.

“Daddy has a game tonight.” Lucie reminds Stella, trying to temper her expectations.

“Okay, then Uncle Davey.”

“He also has a game.” Mack reminder her niece.

“Okay, fineeeee, you two can play with me.”

Lucie and Mack share a look then start to giggle.

Finally, everything feels back to normal.

[sunflowergem]

🎨 🫂 for the Gurlz™️?

I see what you've done here. You spoil me Wonder.

I get to yap about my Gulz™ and Stratum in the same ask!!

We're just going to put a readmore right here because you know I'm going to be going for a while.

I'm literally doing this in my notes app first so I can move it to Tumblr easily, I have once yapped so hard that I couldn't contain it in one post so we'll see if this happens again.

🎨 What labels, if any, would they use to describe themselves?

So overall I don't think the girls really had labels before coming to Earth. I don't think Stratum would have labels overall but I'll get into that more on the other part of the ask. So overall I'm going to be answering in the terms of like Earth gender, romance, and sexualities but none of this is something they would actually like apply to themselves diegetically. I'm also only going to lightly touch on the sexuality aspect since they are teenage coded and I have no intentions of doing anything more than like PG-13 at most when it comes to them. And most of that's going to come from violence and like intense themes. Also while I'm putting these labels on them and I'm going to be using she her to refer to all three of them in the actual story feel free to offer your own interpretations of gender, romantic and sexual orientation. I'm curious to see what other people might interpret from dialogue and actions once the fic drops.

💚 She/her cisgender Panromantic af! One of the main things that I knew about her personality when I was first developing her is that I wanted her to be a flirt. I am ashamed at how long it took for me to realize this meant she could flirt with girls as well. I blame real world society for blinding me to the possibilities. But at least I realized before I started drafting the fan fiction. But yeah she and finds possible attractions in all gender expressions folks are interesting and a lot of them are very very pretty! Additional notes she can dish out flirting but she cannot take it when done in earnest back at her. If it's very performative she can totally brush it off but if somebody actually is interested in her and is like being semi smooth she will melt. I am projecting hard on her and making her demisexual although I don't think she realizes it yet. She likes the idea of kissing but anything beyond that just squicks her out.

🧡 Okay so this one started as a joke in my head when I realized the color association but it kind of started to feel correct so we're going to roll with it for now. Our sweet little leader is a she/her cisgender lesbian. I almost accidentally made all of the colors associated with her the lesbian flag. I did eventually have to pull back on some of the pink that I was trying to add in because it just made it too saturated looking that's why her final kind of look ended up with a brown shirt instead but I really did try and make that pink work. Both yeah romantically and sexually interested in women. In real time thoughts but now I kind of want to give her a girlfriend back on Stratum...going to have to sleep on that one. If I do I want it to be so freaking wholesome!

💜 She/they although I'm not exactly sure what gender label it would be right now. When developing Diamond aesthetically I was actually looking at both male and female clothing from the Glam Rock era so she ended up with a very androgynous (hopefully) vibe. Her gender is just 'cool' ya feel. I briefly thought about making her asexual, partially because of the colors that ended up being chosen which was not meant to be pulling from the asexual flag but that's how it goes, but it just didn't feel right in my head. Honestly much like gender I am not sure exactly where her sexuality or romantic orientation falls. They are definitely queer but like are they pan? Bi? Something else that I just don't know the terminology IRL for. At the moment unclear. Sorry if it feels like a cop out for her but she's as much an enigma to me some days as it's going to be portrayed in the story.

🫂 How accepting is their home culture of gender and sexuality diversity? If they have moved to where they are now, is there a difference?

Ooh ho ho ho, here we go, time to yap about my world building.

In a short their culture is highly accepting of all gender and sexuality expression.

To expand on this Stratum is a culture of almost all artists of some sort and highly values creativity and expression. Stifling expressing yourself is something they actively try and avoid. It's actually something I expressly wrote about when thinking about the education system and writing that part down in the master document.

So yeah, gender expression is completely fluid. While they have pronouns as soon as one starts to maybe prefer a different one the care is taken by others to address them as they prefer. Clothing is optional considering the culture is almost completely like anthropomorphic critters so it is very much a way to express your own vibes. (I'm actually thinking about changing a part of Joker's outfit to make it more of a tunic so this would be a prime example since in our real world culture it might be viewed as more of a dress) And if your gender doesn't reflect what kind of body you were born in they've definitely got ways to help you physically adjust that in a safe and healthy environment.

Sexuality is a business between you and your potential romantic partner. It is not uncommon for folks to flirt with somebody or try and propose dating somebody who might not be as interested in whichever orientation you express but it's never seen as a taboo or anything like that. More like an oops that's not my wallet situation. This is also why they wouldn't really have labels for different sexualities the same way we do here because people just fall in love and or choose to be physically intimate with whoever they want. As long as all parties are consenting and at an appropriate age/maturity level to be together nobody really bats an eye. I've actually already mentioned a mlm pairing in my previous posts about Stratum/the Gurlz™ and that definitely won't be the last of it.

I think that covers the broad strokes. I am going to mention here that I'm currently rotating in my head how to interpret weddings and things like that on Stratum. On the one hand I don't know if I want something as binding being the prevalent way for people to pair off in a culture so open and free. But on the other hand weddings tend to slap in all kinds of cultures across the world here so in a world of oops all artists with special interest that they actually have time and energy to indulge in I would be able to go wild with whatever the heck a wedding might be on this point. Note: it probably wouldn't be called a wedding but I haven't figured out a different term for it yet. I think I've settled on I definitely want some kind of ceremony that celebrates people choosing to be permanently together but the specifics have are still very much in development.

Going into the culture shift aspect of them interacting with Sonic Verse Earth it's actually one that I'm I'm wondering about myself. Now considering this is supposed to be a reflection of like our world allegedly things like homophobia and such unfortunately would probably exist. HOWEVER, we have never seen an instance of that in the Sonic series as far as I can tell so it's easy enough to kind of skirt around. Other than a few small gags I really don't see any of this actually coming up in the story but I would say if the girls encountered actual like homophobia and such as we see in like news and online and in real life, I'm so sick of this why can't people just be nice to each other, they would be horrified. Like it's so antithetical to everything they know in their worldview to want to control and hate someone for something that is just a part of who they are. But bringing it back to something light to finish this off small gags such as them wondering what gay means and things like that might be sprinkled in at moments for levity but it really won't get much deeper than that.

[a-cat-in-toffee]

POST WHERE I TALK ABOUT MY HERO OUTFIT DESIGNS FOR END OF SEASON 2 SLASH SEASON 3 PRIME DEFNDERS :33 LONG ASS POST FOR THE RECORD

also I have pictures of their og design in this so. warning for white skinny pd jumpscare /joking

for sake of navigation I'm going in the order I drew them, and the order theyre in on the above image heart emoji.

"Virion" Vyncent Sol up first!! also can we talk about how his hero name is straight up just his name. lol. lmao even.

I HAD THE MOST PLAN FOR VYNCENT GOING IN TBH I wanted something similiar to the origami outfit while still staying reminiscent of his old outfit

I knew I wanted the jacket and I went with the turtleneck so it was the same as Jason's outfit. also Jason has really cool glove sleeve things I thought that was so fucking cool guys. and vyncent is generally from an actual outfit standpoint like... really simplistic? so just ourple pants and boots seemed most logical. I liked the mask and it was in both of his old designs so I decided to stick with it.

and then of course. the belts. there are ten total belts on his outfit jot including the two that would come with the sheath LMAO. plus the two pd colored belts on his boots!! I decided while drawing I wanted them all to have something in eachothers colors cause thats really cute.

i MUCHHH prefer the shorter jacket because of how it shows off the outfit and is reminiscent of his s2 post fauna design . . .

generally had the most idea going into his so there was very little in ways of additional sketching

also the Japanese where Jason's jacket had said Origami straight up just says Knife. I thought that was so funny. ENTIRELY ACCIDENTAL THING his outfit is basically just cantrips but colors flipped LMAO

BUT THATS ALL FOR VYNCENT. next up is (drum roll please)

"Wisperer" William Wisp!!! El wiwi himself. OKAY SO AS YOU MAY NOTICE. THIS IS DIFFERENT THAN THE DESIGN I ORIGINALLY POSTED. I had Not been happy with that one because it felt too cluttered and a little out of character so I ended up redesigning his jacket and redrawing the refs.

WILLIAMS OUTFIT WAS REALLY FUN THO I ended up going with a gas mask like he had in the greyscale arc, hoodie (which will get its own paragraph), cargo pants!! for his cargo and gadgets and gizmos, and then. because it's me and he's william. platformish boots laced with the orlther pds colors.

the hoodie was the thing I had changed in the new design because the old design wasn't william wisp enough for me yknow

i wnjoyed the outfit and it looked really need but it was much more complicated than his original hero suit and didn't really seem like smthn he'd design and wear.

i really liked the wisp belt and wanted to keep that wisp motif, which is why I ended up putting the flames on his sleeves! it looks cool as hell and keeps w the flame designs. IM ALSO SUPER ATTACHED TO THE WISPERER W THAT WAS ON HIS ORIGINAL HERO DESIGN.... so the hoodie has a stylized w.

also dakota and vyncent beads :)

I HAD A.... PROCESS MAKING THIS ONE LMAO. SO THERES A HANDFUL OF DRAFTS

i cinsidered adding stuff to make his outfit like Silhouettes then remebered i haye Silhouettes outfit. the images are out of order but I'm on mobile and can't be fucked to fix it. NEXT UP!!!!!!

"DC" Dakota Cole! only SLIGHTLY better than vyncent just using his name, bro is using his initials......

I CHANGED THE LEAST ABOUT HIS DESIGN HONESTLY. it was very nice to just get to draw Dakota though :)

the most I changed was I made it a bit simpler, and changed the jacket to be more like the Hexpert armor

also made the zipper look like her weird chest thingy....

I REALLY DISLIKE THE SHOES AND THE LITTLE BITS ON HIS ANKLES THOUGH. SO I CHANGED EM. they're now his thing in the others color heart emoji. I'd like to think they all sat down together and brainstormed ways to encorperate eachother into their costumes.....

i also made a little note of the back of hia jacket and I tried to make it look like a jersey

because he played soccer :)

ALSO.... DAKOTA COLE HONEY YOU SHOULD NOT ME WEARING A BELT EITH A BUCKLE. but it looks cool </3 if a little impractical

BUT THATS ALL OF EM FOR NOW..... love these guys.

next I. tackle redesigning this thing.

sighs. I so got this

[katyawriteswhump]

the power of love, part 14

Sorry about Sunday's empty post ☹️ I must've accidentally put a draft template in my queue because I am basically tired and rubbish and life isn’t the greatest right now. Anyhow.... Whoops and really sorry again!

Alternate ending S4: Steve has a habit of surviving near death experiences then getting sick for no reason. And Eddie and those fatal bat bites? After an impossible feat of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from Steve, he’s mysteriously fixed. So, Eddie’s back to being banished, this time with Steve and Robin in tow. Eddie’s healing, but Steve isn’t… and life gets even more confusing, when Eddie develops feelings for Steve, which aren’t entirely unrequited.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 15

(also on AO3 here and as part of my steve whump fic series)

Eddie POV

When neither Steve nor Robin show up after ten minutes, Eddie begins to freak out. 

He, Hopper and El are still waiting for the car, out of sight among some ferns. Hopper’s getting antsy, muttering beneath his breath, while Eddie’s wriggling like he’s got ants in his pants. Which he genuinely might have, though that’s not what’s bugging him:

“Uuuuh, shall I see what’s taking them so long?”

“You do that,” says Hopper. “What’s going on with that guy? He could barely stand! How the hell could he…”

Eddie tunes out, retracing their journey into the trees, calling Robin’s name then Steve’s. Maybe Steve passed out, and Robin got lost searching? Somehow, he doesn’t buy it. A heaviness slows his feet, and his guts twist sourly. 

They wouldn’t just ditch him. Surely? Surely!?! 

Fifteen minutes later, he winds up where he started: “They’re not back?” 

“What do you reckon?” Hopper’s breathing hard and red in the face. Evidently, he’s been running in circles like Eddie has.

“This is for you.” El nudges Eddie and presses a scrap of paper into his hand. “I think Steve left it.”

“What? Where?” Eddie’s stomach clamps tight again. 

Her eyes stretch very wide. “Fell out of your pack.”

Turning the note over in his hands, his fingers stiffen, as if shrinking from the task, bracing for… something. In the event, he gets a literal slap around the face.

“You make me sick,” Steve wrote.

Eddie’s skin burns with the blow. Wow! This is why I never have and never freakin’ will write love songs.

“What does he say?” demands Hopper.

Eddie scans the note one more time, scrunches it in his fist. “I’d hazard a guess he’s gone back to Hawkins.”

“Goddammit! Robin’s gone with him?”

“I think that’s a safe bet.” A wobble in the back of Eddie’s throat finds its way into his voice. Because, boy, is he still processing.

You make me sick. 

What does that even mean? To be fair, Eddie did make Steve sick. More than once. But why the heck write… that. Would suck less to be dumped without a word. 

Thanks for the overkill, man.

“Don’t you even think about scooting off,” growls Hopper. “Your uncle would never forgive me.” 

Oh yeah. Wayne. The only person who ever actually cared about him.

Eddie plonks his butt down on the ground and waits for the car.

…

Steve POV

“C’mon, giddy up,” says Steve. He and Robin make their way along the muddy bank of the stream towards home.

“Is this some kind of race?” she asks. “While I’d forgotten your former life as a douchebag jock, you’re doing a stunning job of reminding me, and… Uuuuugh!” 

“Jesus Christ, what’s wrong this time?” He spirals about, plants his hands on his hips—he’d ditched the sling a while ago. 

She scrubs madly at her lips. “I swallowed a bug! Ugh, ugh, ugh, mega-gross. Eeeeurgh!”

“Maybe if you weren’t complaining, like, constantly, there’d be less opportunities for bugs to get in.” 

“You shut up, shit-bird! I could die of malaria.” She spits into the stream. “Ew! EEEEEEEW!” 

“Ssssh! Hop said the military will be crawling everywhere soon, or—”

“Eddie might hear?” His heart heaves a loaded thud. She looks back sharply, purses her lips. “You know, he could be lost in the wilderness, all alone. Being hunted by evil army thugs. Or bears! Did you think of that when you sauntered off?”

“I did, yeah. I left him a message saying not to follow.” He shades his face from the afternoon sunlight, which shafts between the trees. Also, he can’t look her straight on and say this: “It was kinda brutal, I guess. It was for his own good, right?”

“Oh. Riiiight.”

“You done spewing insects?” he snaps.

“Still heavily grossed-out here. Gimme a minute, ’kay?” She plonks herself on a rock, crumpling forward.

He mops his brow, strips his sweater, and takes the opportunity to check in on his bat bites. They’re still sore, the bandages a bit bloody. Nothing too fresh, though. For the billionth time, his thoughts fly back to Eddie. He hopes Eddie doesn’t get hurt and need healing while they’re apart, and… Holy shit, will he ever see him again? He ties his sweater around his hips, trying to make fumbling hands look casual.

“Steve? You okay?”

“Other than the fact I’m modelling a ‘shoot-me-now-why don’t-you?’ Hellfire Club t-shirt,”—and that I want to punch myself in the face about that moronic note—“I’m good, Robin.”

“You know what? I don’t doubt it.” She brushes her flyaway hair from suspicious eyes. “You’ve gone from death’s door to super-human speed in, oh, I don’t know—feels to me that we’ve been marching for a week. I think it’s been barely an hour.”

“Yeah? We got a long way to go then.” He starts off along the stream’s edge, forcibly slowing his pace. He senses her puffing, panting, then following on his heels.

“Look, Steve, this water goddess who’s pulling you back, whispering in your ear—”

“I can’t actually tell if they’re male or female. Does that matter?”

“Not in the slightest. So, your water… deity. Have they, by any chance, enlightened you as to some kind of divine plan? Or told you exactly where you’re heading?” 

“I got an idea where I’m going, yeah.” To the second place he died, swept away on that blood-red tide—even now, he sees it in his head, like a few frames of a horror VHS stuck on eternal repeat. “Where’s the best place for army generals with dodgy agendas to hang out in Hawkins? There’s never been an army base, apart from—”

“You’re kidding me?” She grabs his elbow, jerking him back. “The Soviet tunnels?” He nods, and her obvious dread has her dropping him like a stone. “No way! I don’t think I can go anywhere near without a major panic attack."

“I’m not gonna march straight in.” He’s already wandering on. Trouble is, now he’s said the idea out loud, it’s become real and terrible. And he’s gotta pretend like his blood’s not congealing to ice. “I don’t know how I’m gonna get in anyhow. I mean, the Starcourt lift is buried under a ton of rubble. I think Hop might’ve know other ways—”

“Oooh, I got a great idea. Let’s go back and ask him.”

“Yeah, real subtle.”

“Steve!” She seizes him again, twisting him around with a furious force. “I know you want to help El, but what can you ACTUALLY DO?” He shrugs before he can stop himself. “Rain? Lightning? How does that benefit us—especially in underground tunnels? Plus you’ve had literally zero time for practice. If we don’t slow down and come up with a decent plan, this is tantamount to suicide.”

“We? Seriously, Robin, I…” His teeth clamp his lower lip. Any moment now, he’ll tell her how terrified he is, how he really, really doesn’t want to get tortured again, let alone die; how the idea of anything bad happening to her is as frightening as any of it. “I don’t think I have much choice.”

“Steve,” she says, gentler now, though her grip gouges into his flesh. “It’s screamingly obvious you’re not thinking straight. You’ve been ill for days and now you’re in a funk, beating yourself up over Eddie.”

He yanks himself free, glares. “That doesn’t make any dif—"

“Bullshit! Trust me, however ‘mean boy’ your literary masterpiece got, Eddie won’t want you to do anything this dumb. Oh, and your resident gender-fluid angel saved your life. They’re not gonna want you to sacrifice it pointlessly.”

He opens his mouth to argue, then shuts it again. He laughs—not a particularly happy laugh, but not totally miserable either. “You win,” he says, kinda sagging with relief. “You got a plan, smarty-pants?”

She laughs with him, equally edgy. “I say we go to Lover’s Lake, wait till it’s dark. If that’s too dangerous, we find some hidden pool where you can practise whatever badass moves you think you got. Hopefully without the puking. It’ll be a bit like Band Camp. But for Magic. Magic Camp. Okay?”

“You really aren’t gonna be happy until I’m a bigger nerd that any of… Shit!” 

He’s been considering hugging her. Instead, he seizes her sleeve, dragging her down into a deep, wet gully. They land with a splash, crouching low, close. She doesn’t complain, because she’s heard what he has.

The distant sound of barking dogs. Likely, army search dogs.

“Dog barks travel for miles, huh?” he whispers.

“Possibly.” She sucks in a scared breath. “One thing for sure—those sniffy wet snouts can pick up a human scent from the next county.”

“We’re in a stream, Robin. They can’t pick up our scent here, right?”

She crinkles her nose, dubious. “Dogs’ sense of smell is pretty amazing.”

“Yeah? Let’s hope this bunch caught colds or something.” 

He’s now the one clutching her way too tight, and he half-wishes he’d ditched her with a bitchy note too. Though, not quite. She smart; he needs her, and she’s really has gotten him thinking clearer: 

“We head for Lover’s Lake. C’mon.”

…

Eddie POV

When the sound of the car engine finally reaches his hearing, Eddie feels almost nothing.

“Don’t move.” Hopper pitches Eddie a forbidding look and grabs El, keeping them low behind the ferns. 

An owl hoots. Despite the hollowness in his chest, Eddie silently cracks up. Seriously? Top secret government goons can’t think of a better signal than me and Robin? 

Hopper’s grip slides to the firearm at his side. He rises slowly. “Over here.”

Peeping between the foliage, Eddie can make out a limo-style saloon with blacked-out windows. A severe-faced woman in lethal stilettos climbs out. “Chief Hopper, I presume? I apologise for the delay. O’Sullivan’s got men everywhere. We must leave right away.”

Hopper, nevertheless, remains stood well off the road with Eleven, not rushing for the car. And Eddie? 

You make me sick.

Steve’s made it simple for him. He should cut his losses and take this chance of escape. Wayne would want him to. Apart from… Eddie literally can’t. What was it that Steve said? Oh yeah. That he was being stretched in the wrong direction. Or something along those lines.

Yeah, I’m feelin’ it, Stevie. 

Nothing supernatural, nothing hinky. You kill me that bad, Babe—even after you turned meanie-King-Steve and dumped me. Oh, and went back to goddamn Mordor without me! 

Gonna trust you had your reasons, and I’m coming anyway.

He turns on his dirt-clotted heels and flees as fast as he can.

Part 15

...

tags: @estrellami-1 @kal-ology @finntheehumaneater (thank you, thank you, thank you!) If anybody else would like to be tagged on this fic or any of my writing, please let me know :) Reblogs, comments and likes also very much appreciated :) Thank you for reading so far :)

(also part of my steve whump fic series on AO3)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 15

[mistergear]

Gear's Guide To Engineer in MVM

First question: why should you listen to me? Because I play this gamemode daily, on expert and nightmare modes. i think i can at least give some tips on how to play engineer

also, sorry this took so long, i literally forgot i accidentally posted this privately instead of a draft and i never came back to actually reupload as not a private post LMAO anyway guide below

First things first, UPGRADES!

Start: Sentry

I always upgrade my sentry first, as I don't need to be on field with it as much as it needs to be on field. Often, I can leave my sentry alone for a few minutes while I go either upgrade myself, move buildings, or sometimes chase bomb (it happens, usually when you're moving your sentry and a bot gets past).

This obviously depends on your mission and starting money amount, but you want to try to upgrade your sentry's building health, your ammo capacity, and dispenser range first.

This is just a random mission i clicked on (custom map), and this is what my credits let me get. You always want to max out your dispenser range, as your teammates need it more than you do.

As you get more money (or if you're in nightmare with a bunch of money), you keep maxxing out your building health, get only 1 tick of sentry firing speed, then move onto your metal.

You only get one tick of firing speed, as the lovely shouc has pointed out the other ticks doesn't do anything. This goes for heavy as well. Save your money.

You only really get 2 way if you're in nightmare, as you don't get breaks in between to properly upgrade. The Disposable Sentry isn't needed, you can get it if you have enough money and you don't need any other upgrades. My only exception is in Ghost Town, I always get it before the spies show up to put behind us. It kinda helps. Otherwise, unless you have a fuckton of money and have no other upgrades needed, ignore the disposable sentry.

For example, here's a custom nightmare map. As you see, maxed health, 2 way since it's nightmare, one tick of firing speed, max dispenser range, and some metal. I actually had more money, but I save that for other upgrades. As more money comes in, if im not getting constantly demolished on the field I typically opt for maxing the metal.

CANTEENS:

For Canteens, upgrade buildings are your best friend. I don't literally touch any other one unless I'm another class. The literal only time I've not gotten them was in a glitched map where we needed to clear the tanks asap, otherwise they'd get stuck. As soon as I used my 3 crits I immediately went back to the upgrades.

However, don't let me stop you. If you want to run crits, that's fine. just be mindful of your loadout. I would say if you don't want to run upgrade buildings, maybe try rescue ranger and jag. I haven't tried it myself, so I'm not sure how it'd turn out, but that's the beauty of this game.

WEAPONS:

So.. This really depends on what you're running. For MVM primaries, you will want to either use Rescue Ranger, or Widow Maker. You could run Frontier Justice, but that's only really good for mini sentry, which you will almost never run in MVM, so I say ignore it.

Most players will choose Rescue Ranger, which I don't play with much, but when I do this is how I typically upgrade my Rescue.

I typically try to focus on reload, clip, and firing speed. Most people using rescue (myself included) use it to move the buildings around, and to heal it. You want to be able to heal your machines fast if you're using this one. (also side note I just clicked on a random loadout, that's why I have mini sentry equipped. this is not indicative off what you should use loadout wise.)

Now, this may freak some people out, but I'm a Widowmaker main in MVM. You might be thinking, "why the fuck would i run widowmaker?" Well, Widowmaker is good for tank busting! That sentry firing speed is great, and I also use it to replenish my metal. This is how I upgrade my Widowmaker :

If there's a tank that round/second I'm at the upgrade station, I'll try to focus on the firing speed. Sometimes I'll even ignore the projectile penetration if I don't have enough money.

For beginners, I'd probably recommend you stay on RR, as you'll still be learning how to move around and such. However, that's entirely up to you. If you don't mind running all over the place to grab your stuff instead of just using RR, go ahead! That's the main downside to this.

For secondary, I always go wrangler. I'm usually playing expert/nightmare modes, so giant medics are common. If you have a giant medic, wrangle your sentry and don't let it target the medic's target heal. Focus on the Giant medic with your wrangled sentry. Though, in lower modes, you can go with another secondary of your choosing. Short circut isn't the best, but it is fun. You don't really ever use your pistol/secondary (minus wrangler) unless you actively choose to, so just be aware.

ENGINEER/YOURSELF:

How i go about it is when I have the money, I always go with maxing my fire and crit resistances first. As I get more money, I move onto to bullet and blast after my sentry is maxed. Of course, this always depends on the map for the exact order, sometimes you have to go ahead and get your resistances in order to keep upgrading your sentry. If I have to do this, I always make sure I have at least a tick or two of building health before doing so.

This is usually how I try to upgrade myself when I have the money:

This is typically what I use for nightmare modes, as they give you a bunch of money. The movement speed helps you scurry around to move between buildings and to help you move faster when you're carrying a building. Of course, this is something I normally get only on nightmare, as most expert/advanced missions don't give you the money you need to get what is required first and the the movement speed.

This is also map dependent, but if there's a good sentry spot (will be elaborating soon) that has a pile of boxes to jump on, and you're constantly being hindered by these boxes, you can also get the jump height. Of course, this isn't always needed, and I only really get the jump height if I'm in custom mvm. Normal default mvm you don't really have maps that need you to jump up, so I just usually ignore it.

BUILDING PLACEMENTS:

Teleporter:

This one depends on your map. Like for my example here, the doors are spread apart from another, so I just picked the closest door to the path and placed my entrance tele.

In maps like below where the entraces line up with each other, put your tele in the middle. So many people will put it on just one door, which is okay if there are 2 engineers (the other can put his on the other), but usually most do not play 2 engie. It's not a issue for faster classes, but for heavy and soldier it's a massive inconvenience. Your job as Engineer is to help with bomb and also ease said inconveniences. Don't be a dick.

For your tele exit, try to keep it toward the front half of the map. My general rule of thumb when I'm not in nightmare mode is to try to put it not super far from front, but not to the point where if the bomb gets past the tele it becomes useless. This usually puts it towards the middle or 3/4 of the way in the map. You also want to make sure its not directly visible to bomb path, as you don't want anyone who's teleported in to be immediately targeted. Like in the image below, you can see the bomb path isn't far, and it's in a safe corner.

When I'm placing my tele, if I'm not sure about the placement in correlation to the bomb path, I'll pretend I'm a robot and trace the path myself to see how it goes. Usually if I see the tele at any point, I move it.

With Nightmare Mode, I treat teleporters for the most part the same, I just try to keep it on the ground floor and closer to the front than I would for a regular multiwave mission, as it's handy for getting upgrades.

For example, here is where i try to keep it when I'm playing ghost town:

depending on the path, I sometimes have it on the other side with the smaller fence, but I usually have it on this side.

Sometimes though, on some maps there are no safe spots on the ground. It sucks, but it happens. For those instances, I'll try to put it up top that is close to the front but you can easily access it.

Dispenser:

For your dispenser, listen to me when I say this: Your dispenser is NOT FOR YOU. It is for your teammates.

You generally want to build your sentry near an ammo pack, so you can leave your dispenser for your teammmates. So many people seem to think of only the Engineer's perspective, which is need ammo for building = keep dispenser near, but that's bad thinking. You need to consider the perspective of the other classes. If you don't have much experience with those other classes, play them. It'll give you an idea of how to play better as Engie.

Try to build it on the ground, at the front, behind something. You want to have it near the edge, so you teammates don't have to stand behind the wall to recharge. You don't want to build it out in the open, so in case if your teammates are very low on health, they'll have a spot to hide and heal. Try to move it with your team. If you're pushed back, and your team begins to move back forward, literally pick up your dispenser and follow them, then try to place it on wall edges.

As you see above, the dispenser can be accessed from most sides. This position is typically the best, as it lets heavies have a constant replenishment of ammo while still being able to shoot at the front. This also applies for soldiers, demos, depending on how the map is set up even snipers too. Scouts and pyros can easily swing by for ammo as well before getting back onto the field.

Sentry:

So this is a building you will be moving a lot, and that's usually because of bomb. As Engineer, I usually try to stay with the bomb no matter what, unless a tank needs help and I think the rest of the team can cover bomb while I'm with tank. As soon as bomb begins to get pushed back again though, I'll leave tank for bomb unless it's nearly to hatch.

For actual placement, try to have it kinda like your dispenser: behind a wall, near the edge. You want to try to angle it where your sentry can still target plenty, but have it behind something so it doesn't immediately get targeted and destroyed. It can be kinda tough to figure how to set it up, but with practice it'll become easier to spot.

You can try to put it above the robots on a bridge like this (though this picture was actually at spawn on an overhang, i moved it shortly after bc i realised a spawn was behind me. however, on actual bridges this will be fine usually). I like bridges, as I can swap sides pretty quickly depending on the bomb and robots streaming through.

This is another good spot, as it's in the direct line of sight for bomb for a good range, the robots won't immediately attack it, and you can usually kill more robots than them kill your sentry.

Now, sometimes I will put it more in the open, like this. There is the wall right there, so if I need to pull back my sentry and hit it, I have the cover. I also try to set up in places where i know i can move around freely after the bomb spawns in, like for example in Ghost Town, I will try to build on top once the bomb gets past the first couple of fences so i can place my sentry alongside bomb path and not have to worry about getting shot/blown up.

more examples of sentry spots:

Honestly, with sentries it is a choose your own adventure, as you'll probably be the closest to it most of the time. I've just found it easier to try to keep it near the edge of something as it's harder to hit/I can pick up and move to repair quickly.

I feel like I need to add more to this but reading this I feel like i've hit most of the main points, so I think I'll end this here. If you have questions or anything reblog with them, or just ask me and I'll try to answer! A lot of my tips I've had to take awhile to learn, and even with them I still fail sometimes.

Just know that Engineer in mvm can be stressful, and if you're seriously getting upset over not playing him please take a break! He's not really hard to learn, it's just seriously overwhelming at first and can seem like it's way too much to handle.

I hope my little guide helped some! Now go out there and beat those machines!

[teriwrites]

Down Memory Lane: A Wrap-Up

I have no idea how I actually managed to see it through, but here we are! Over 900,000 words in content read, an ungodly amount written towards silly reactions and summarizing, and I have officially worked my way through the past over-half-of-my-life's Novembers.

To be fully honest, the whole thing is still overwhelming enough that I'm having a hard time putting anything down to summarize it as a whole. The past near-4 months have been dense, burying my head into my WIPs, and the closer we got to the present, the more backload of Thoughts I had about each. So trying to whip up a nice, concise, comprehensive summary feels just about impossible.

So I suppose I should just start at the very beginning:

Why the Hell Did I Do This?

As with most of these questions, there are a couple different answers:

Why not? - The initial spark for doing this retrospective project stemmed out of realizing that I had access to every one of my old November projects. I'd been meaning to go back through a few of the different drafts, and I've always enjoyed rereading my own writing. So I didn't really need any other reasons to do it! That said...

A Needed Ego Boost - Without going into too much detail, I've been struggling with various insecurities in my writing for the past few years. Feeling stagnant, stumbling over the same pitfalls, never quite achieving on paper what I envision for my story. I could make a whole post surrounding the 'why' of those insecurities, but ultimately, I figured that by reading my writing from the age of 13, I could feel better about my writing at age 26.

Amusement - Everytime somebody shares the writing they were working on in elementary/middle school, it's always lovably ridiculous. I was really anticipating diving into that type of insanity, especially after drafting something as heavily melodramatic as The Blind Oracle last November

What the Hell Happened?

So, yeah. If you've been seeing my posts pop up regularly for the past few months, you might've noticed that I've been consistently working away towards the goal of reading through everything and jotting down some reactions and notes as I went

I didn't really know what to expect when I actually got started. I didn't have any sort of structured idea of what to track specifically, so I just kind of started reading and hoped that the development would be obvious.

Thankfully, it was! I read the slowly but surely burgeoning storytelling of a girl stepping through adolescence and into emerging adulthood.

Some of the various things I found included:

Workarounds for cursing as a Devout Catholic Child

Incidental Anti-Capitalist rhetoric

Intentional Anti-Capitalist rhetoric

Accidental glimpses into my adolescent psyche regarding values, biases, self-image, etc.

All the insane silliness I could've hoped for

Accidentally poignant commentary on the current political climate

So much redundancy. So many sentences describing things that absolutely did not need to be described in any detail.

An unfurling love of descriptive writing

So much banter

I laughed, I cried, I cringed, I spent like a month and a half longer than I expected getting through it. What else could I ask for?

The More Things Change...

A lot has changed in my writing since I was 13 (obviously), but aside from the quality itself, the writer I was in 8th grade wouldn't likely recognize the writer I am now

So what's changed?

Pantsing vs. Planning - When I was a kid, first beginning to write stories, my approach to writing meant coming up with an exciting idea, writing maybe 1,000 words towards the idea until I'd satisfied the initial excitement. And then, when I set it down for a minute, and a new, shiny idea came along, the cycle would repeat.

While Below can't take all of the credit for my learning how to commit to an idea - there was another project in the background throughout middle school that I dedicated like 30K to over 3 years - it was the first project to show me that I could finish something.

But the 'write what excites you' mindset didn't always work so smoothly, even during November. In 2013, I genuinely gave up halfway through the month. My excitement for the project had worn off. I'd written myself into plot hole after plot hole. The only reason I won that year was because I was surrounded by online friends crossing the finish line in the last few days of November. So I determined to join them and spent all day of the 29th and 30th hitting an accumulative 18K.

It was incredibly difficult. But it also was a huge learning experience. I realized through The Abernathy Chronicles that putting in work beforehand - timelines, worldbuilding, character creation - could actually be fun, and it helped me stick with an idea to know where it was going.

Realism vs. Escapism - What was fun about this particular dichotomy is that it doesn't fall along some sort of linear development. It isn't like I started writing fantasy, and then slowly branched into litfic, or the other way around.

That said, there have been trends. Growing up, I wrote exclusively fantasy/sci-fi/paranormal/etc. If magic wasn't involved, superpowers were. If superpowers weren't involved, ghosts were. If ghosts weren't involved, magic was. Technically, I believe my first foray into contemporary writing was in short stories I worked on towards the end of high school. And even then, there were often fantastical elements to it.

Once I'd gone off to college, I noticed an interesting pattern. My 1st year of college, in 2016, November in particular was a terrible time. The election/my mental health/in the thick of classes I hated all had me drained. So I set out to write a story revolving around a pretty bare, basic rebelling-against-the-government plot, with basic miserable-archetypal characters.

The following year, when my life had entirely flipped-turned-upside-down, I was writing about two pre-teens working through the struggles of middle school. Then, in 2018, I was writing about a young woman falling into the egoism of fame. In 2019, it was young men coping with the horrific past of their nation as they stepped into adulthood. My first true instances of contemporary (or at least within the past century) fiction, looking at interpersonal relationships and exploring the self. All written during a high point of my life, pursuing my interests with a healthy academic and social life.

Then 2020 came. Cue me writing a story about a girl running into the world of the fae to save her brother as I sat alone in a dorm while all of my friends had already graduated.

Are we seeing the pattern here?

So maybe it's not something that has to do with the development of my skill, but it was interesting to look back and notice how my life and stability reflects itself in my writing*

*Funnily enough, maybe my most realistic WIP - Downstairs, 4 Hawthorn Rd - I'd actually place in the 'escapism' category, since I was literally using it to escape back into pre-pandemic life

Inspiration - This one kind of ties in with the last, but where the ideas that I actually write about come from has always been fluid, but over time, I do think there's been a shift.

When I wrote Below, it stemmed directly from a dream I had about escaping some kind of institution. There are always obvious ties to the general Y.A. genre at the time, but also to specific stories like Maximum Ride (or honestly even moreso the Virals series by Kathy Reichs, we don't needa talk about how Kristen was straight up copied off of Tori Brennan lmao). Similarly, the idea for Hell™ Hath Frozen Over was literally snatched from someone else on the NaNo forums (once again, soz).

But as time went on, I started finding inspiration outside of 'literally snatching up other people's ideas and tweaking a few things and calling it mine'. I took more interest in prompts. I made a game out of grabbing titles off of title generators and framing a storyline around them (which led to Boy of My Imagination, Creature of Scandal, and Beneath Alder Creek). I drew inspiration from stories I loved without trying to directly imitate them - Anne of Green Gables lightly features in more of these projects than I can count and yet nothing in my WIPs really resemble that story. I found myself asking questions and setting out to answer them in my writing.

There's no right way to find ideas, and I think the best approach has always been leaving yourself open to taking inspiration from any source that offers it to you. The real difference here, I think, is that I've gotten better about how to wield that inspiration and forge it into something of my own.

...The More They Stay The Same

As much as things have changed since November 2011, I'm ultimately still the same person. And regardless of whether it's in my Superpowered Teens YA at 13 years old or my Foreseeing Tragedy at 26, there are going to be glimpses of me in all of it

Humor - My sense of humor has revolved around a sort of dry wit for honestly about as long as I've been writing. And while I don't think I was able to communicate that well in how I wrote when I was 9, it's been a big part of my narrative voice forever

In a way, I think I'm actually at my best with this kind of voicing when writing in 1st person - it's a lot easier to show from directly inside a character's mind - using primarily 3rd person just means that a lot of my writing involves a sort of detached narrator offering commentary

The Fatal Choice: "I am here to visit family," Delroy explained, though he wasn't at all. He was there to try and break out some prisoners, but something told him that they wouldn't be so receptive if they knew that.'

The Insurgence: "I don't mean to brag, of course, but my servant - Amos, you'll remember him - has been practicing his driving. I knew that a young man of his age ought to learn to drive, and so I've been having him practice in the fields near the house." Ross' expression was not that of someone who remembered the person being mentioned, but he listened silently and intently.'

Castle on the Hill: "No, I usually just take a nap or something, but right now, I'm full of energy." The energetic Hans appeared no different than how he typically did.'

Beyond Alder Creek: 'Maybe traveling on her own for awhile would be good for her. The clamminess of her palms clearly demonstrated how much faith she had in the idea, but relying on herself had always been a part of the plan.'

Like these all stretch across several years, but something about clearly pointing out contradictions between what a character says vs. what they think/mean/show definitely shows up in a lot of my writing, and I'm sure there are other jokes that I could find similar examples of

Exploration - While I don't think there's anything wrong in finding your comfort zone in reading/writing and sticking to it, as I grew up, I found trying to branch out important to me. I didn't just want to write poor quality Chosen One knock-offs forever. As soon as I realized that I was capable of actually following through on my ideas, those ideas began to expand

This isn't to like herald myself as some great writer who tackles every genre and form with equal comfort and skill. By no means. My comfort zone lands largely in historical fantasy, and I like it there. But I also like to branch out, and it was fun to go back and see myself doing just that through the years.

Hell™ Hath Frozen Over was one of the first steps I ever took outside of classic Y.A. stories, most of which involved some degree of the Chosen One trope. The Fatal Choice showed my first real attempt at worldbuilding. And though I largely stuck with my fantasy comforts for awhile, as my inspiration expanded, so did my interest in finding ideas outside of that comfort zone. Granted, a lot of what experimentation can be found in these WIPs was grounded more in short stories that I'd jot down in my free time - exploring sci-fi and paranormal and horror and suspense and romance and humor and contemporary ideas.

Most recently, The Blind Oracle involved a lot of playing around with not just tenses and POVs, but intentionally working personal conflicts into the writing. Introducing lyrics from songs I added to a playlist for the WIP (which I've never done before and honestly don't expect to keep up with). I wanted this project to be as cathartic as possible - and it paid off!

Experimenting and exploring with different areas of writing is something I usually associate more with my older self - college and beyond - but it's really nice to see that the interest in pushing myself actually goes all the way back to the very beginning.

Highlights

I just wanted to take a brief part of this massive-af (in-line with every other post I've made towards this project, at least) essay to offer a highlight from each of the 16 projects before I start winding this down:

Below (2011): 'No news is good news right? Well, that's how it felt right now. Unfortunately, we had a lot of news coming our way at the moment.'

Hell™ Hath Frozen Over (2012): "Hello, Gabriel? I have a message for you to send to Lucifer. Yes, the CEO of Hell™. Yes, the guy who used to be our best employee here. Yes, the one who turned evil. Please tell him to stop forwarding his mail to us."

Below (2012): 'His brow was furrowed, and if looks could kill, Raevin would have had her insides spilled onto the table and stabbed several times until they all bled out.'

The Fatal Choice (2013): 'Before, Delroy had wondered how an executioner could be disloyal to his Governors. Now, he had no doubt in his mind that the executioner would as soon kill the Governors if provided enough incentive.'

Behind Closed Doors (2014): 'Every piece of the puzzle had fallen into place, and its picture formed a hideous corpse in an alleyway. Sir Cedric Boyd had had the Prime Minister murdered.'

Boy of My Imagination (2015): 'I wanted to argue, to tell her that she was wrong and that I would be completely fine by the fall, but I found myself falling silent. The truth was that I wasn't sure when I'd be okay again. It'd only been a bit over a week since I'd woken up, and I hadn't expected changes overnight, but at what point was I supposed to start feeling better? When were my constant headaches going to fade? When would my memories return to me? How long was I going to have to wait until I could feel normal again?'

The Insurgence (2016): "Glamorous?" Miles asked, brow furrowing. Pressing a fist into the wooden surface of the desk to stabilize himself, he leaned forwards. "Do you call hiking through the Osennas Mountains as the winter season approaches glamorous? Or risking my life every time I cross the border with forged papers which, with competent training, could be easily deciphered as fake? Is dragging cartloads of firearms through the mud and walking through the night until my legs are too stiff to move 'glamorous' to you, Miss Abberton?"

Emma's Wonderland (2017): 'Finn couldn't be quite sure how exactly things went, so quickly as they occurred, but suddenly Emma was in a bunch of mud that the melting snow had uncovered. And he couldn't say exactly what he did, but Finn would always have the vague memory of stumbling forwards and sucker-punching Trey Kendall in the jaw.'

Creature of Scandal (2018): 'Before she could leave, Charlotte allowed herself to turn once more to Carson and say, "By the way, Mr. Wheelis. The name is Charlotte Wilson. Remember it. This won't be the last time you hear it."

Castle on the Hill (2019): 'Perhaps, Hans thought as he slid into the front seat of the car, there was more to this group than bickering. They were all grinning and laughing, and even after they'd returned to Peter and Georg's apartment, half the night passed before any of them managed to calm down enough to finally get to sleep.'

Beneath Alder Creek (2020): "The Courts run on honor. Those without it are removed. Tell me, which Court does your guide belong to?"

Downstairs, 4 Hawthorn Rd (2021): 'So, saving her blank document, she closed out the tab and sent her laptop to sleep.'

Beyond the Grave (2021): 'The world is wide. I've had a long journey. Let's not talk of my shortcomings.' The wind rustled in the trees, like a parent ruffling their child's hair.'

The Lies in the Legend (2022): "There are those that will use whatever means necessary to convince you they are well-meaning enough, or innocent enough, or powerful enough that you must listen to whatever they tell you. But nobody - not me, not your friends, not even the Prince - should be above reproach in dire circumstances."

Beyond Alder Creek (2023): 'Humanity tore a rift in the fabric of the Beyond. So be it. Winifred Pewitt would burn it in its entirety before she let it rob her of her brother.'

The Blind Oracle (2024): 'The innocent ignorance of the kingdom's powerful, their authority a facade in the horrible knowledge he'd been cursed with. Fate cast him from their comfort like a shadow from the light. He saw death in their pleasure; even a skull appeared to smile.'

Was This Project Worth It?

As I mentioned, I put in 4 months of my life dedicated to reading through my old WIPs, completely refrained from reading or engaging too much in anything else, wrote copious amounts of notes, all for this project that I didn't even have a solid grasp on when I started.

There were so many days that I spent wanting to bang my head against my desk, trudging through the most boring string of sentences ever put onto paper. Spending an entire page dedicated to content that really only needed a couple sentences, or didn't need to be included at all. So many notes that I didn't want to be taking to describe stories I haven't had a vested interest in for years.

And at the end of it, what all do I really have except for so many posts with the same little banner on the end of them?

Truly, is it worth going to reread writing from so long ago?

YES.

If only for the purpose of nostalgia, rereading old writing will always be worth it imo. If only for finding the humor in the insane choices of phrasing and voicing. If only out of curiosity, or boredom, or if trying to rekindle your own spark with why you love this craft in the first place, it is absolutely worth going back to your roots.

(That said, looking back on older writing requires being able to give your younger self grace. An open mind and acceptance of meeting the writing where it's at are so important!)

Anyways, I started this largely because I felt awful about where I was at in my writing. I felt convinced that nothing I put on the page was 'good enough', that it all fell short to what my idea of the scene/description/conversation/story was. Everything felt surface-level and poorly patched together. I wasn't convinced that I'd made any progress over the past few years, and that the difference in my writing back in 2011 and in 2024 could've been that stark.

And I was so wrong.

Admittedly, I think it'd be almost impressive if I managed not to have any notable difference in my writing over 13 years of writing out at LEAST 50,000 words, and usually at least doubling that during the non-November months

But to actually witness my own development actually gave me so much confidence in the progress I've made. Watching characters come to life, seeing landscapes come into focus, stories themselves unfold with more ease. My 13-year-old self would read my writing today and actually gape at what I've managed to accomplish. And if for nobody else's sake, then for hers, I'm more than happy to bask in my hard-earned skills.

NaNoWriMo...

Let's just call it what it is, especially now that the company itself has sunk and can't claim any more ownership to the actual heart of what that challenge has always meant to be.

NaNoWriMo was, and in some ways still is, a very influential part of my life. And before I can completely finish this up, I can't have a whole retrospective project based around my NaNo novels without acknowledging its impact.

I've already talked about how my first year of NaNoWriMo shaped my writing journey by teaching me that I could actually finish something. It also introduced me to a chatroom full of teenage writers who became some of my closest friends in high school - and some of whom I'm still close with. We encouraged each other, challenged each other, took up beef with some of the moderators for not letting us promote our chatroom on the YWP site (which is bitterly ironic, given what would go on on those forums a decade later)

All this to say, my first few years of NaNoWriMo gave me everything that I needed as a writer at the time: community and the audacity to push through a first draft, regardless of how messy and incomprehensible it was.

As the years went on, it became a beloved tradition. My ability to finish a first draft was established after awhile, but I was still bouncing between various ideas between Novembers. If 1K was all it took to get inspiration out of my system when I was 13, then a 1st draft did the same thing to me at 18. And that fit in perfectly with NaNoWriMo's goals: every year, I could start a new draft from scratch and write out at least 50,000 words towards finishing it.

But then I kept growing up and kept developing. I started finding ideas I actually wanted to stick with.

Even before NaNoWriMo (the company) started sinking under its own controversies, I was finding myself at a crossroads with the challenge itself. I realized that I wasn't spending enough time working on my WIPs outside of October/November to actually make much progress before we'd reach that time of year to start drafting up a fresh bout of inspiration.

I first started seriously considering what my future with the challenge would look like in 2023. I'd already won 12 consecutive years and couldn't imagine not at least participating. But participating meant having to neglect working on projects I was passionate about.

(Thus: using that year to work on my second draft of BAC)

The scandals of 2023 coming to light alongside the whole AI mess of 2024 largely seemed to answer that question, at least in terms of officially participating in the challenge using its website and all that. Even if I'd wanted to keep writing 1st drafts forever, there are certain stances I can't stand by

But even if none of that had happened, I think I would still find myself in 2025 looking at where I've come from and where I'm at now.

Writing 50,000 words in 2011 was a great exercise to force me to rapidly write out a story and stop relying entirely on the motivation of being in the mood to write.

Writing 50,000 words in 2012 taught me that not every story needs to be a novel, and that some only need 25,000 to tell it.

Writing 50,000 words in 2013 taught me that flying by the seat of my pants doesn't actually help me personally get through a novel any easier.

Writing 50,000 words in 2014 solidified for me that actually having some sort of plan to go by was not the boring, tedious work I thought it'd be.

Writing 50,000 words in 2015 taught me that choosing to tackle a massive challenge on top of a challenge (rather than first exploring a new genre in something like short stories outside of November) would lead to slogging through the month.

Writing 50,000 words in 2016 taught me how to gauge my own mental capacity and lean into a story that'd bring me the most escapism and least difficulty to write.

Writing 50,000 words in 2017 taught me that I was allowed to balance my traditions with a social life without sacrificing either.

Writing 50,000 words in 2018 brought me a year of writing alongside friends irl for the first time.

Writing 50,000 words in 2019 was less important than what came after: finishing the last 20K after November had ended.

Writing 50,000 words in 2020 offered an essential, familiar outlet in a world that'd turned on its head and demonstrated that, sometimes, the best stories are those that come out of self-indulgence.

Writing 50,000 words in 2021 taught me how to tweak the challenge itself to fit my own goals - writing out two novellas instead of one 50K+ novel

Writing 50,000 words in 2022 showed me how easy even a challenge like this can be when the WIP aligns with your interests.

Writing 50,000 words in 2023 taught me that there's absolutely nothing which could prevent me from writing 50,000 words in 30 days.

Writing 50,000 words in 2024 taught me that I cannot spend every November of my life writing 50,000 words.

I love this challenge, and I don't think that I'll ever fully give it up. Currently, I plan to spend November 2025 writing out, you guessed it, 50K (though I already know what that will be towards, and it's a very specific project). In November 2026, who knows? Maybe I'll keep with the traditional 50K, maybe I'll shift my goals to something that aligns better with my long-term plans. Eventually, I'll have to break the chain of Novembers.

When that day comes, I'm sure I'll have a lot of thoughts and feelings to share about it. But until then, all I can say is that I'm so grateful for what NaNoWriMo has provided me, regardless of where the nonprofit ended up. The writer, and in many ways the person, I am today would not have been possible without it.

And with that, there is only one question left to ask.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Now that I've gone back and examined my own work, as the trajectory pushes into the present and beyond, it begs the question of what to do now. If there is anything to do now, outside of going back to the grind.

But I've had four months to think about it, and I have some ideas for what could come next:

Fundamentals - I've had the general goal for awhile of going back and doing basic writing exercises - the type of thing you'd see in school - to ground myself back in various areas of creative writing. Whether that means something like a class, or just genuinely grabbing prompted challenges for myself, I don't think it would hurt to look at the craft a little more academically.

Sharing My Writing - If I've gotten used to writing out full drafts and I've done some work on making those drafts comprehensible, an area that I'm definitely still struggling in is actually sharing that writing and, eventually, asking for critique. While I don't think my first step in this would be to fully start posting entire novel drafts online for people to see, I think this is where short stories could really shine.

November - While, as I've said, I don't think that I will be participating in the 50K/30 Days challenge forever, I'm not quite willing to give it up just yet. But once I do, I'm sure that that time of year will always feel more creatively motivating. So maybe I could create new challenges for myself to fall (ha) during November. Broach into rewrites, or edits, or encourage myself to branch into entirely new forms of writing - creative nonfiction, maybe, or script-writing, or finding new genres to tackle.

Nothing is set in stone, obviously. If all the next 13 years brought me was more of the same of what I've seen here, I'd still be astounded by what all I've yet to do. But there's nothing like charting out your course to give you a better idea of what lies ahead. And, with hindsight being what it is, I think that's what I was actually looking for in this project all along.

So with all of that settled, I think it's time for me to get writing!*

*after a long-deserved, potentially month-long nap

[fairestar]

How do you make your posts so aesthetic im on mobile and literally can't figure this app out😭

with lots of screen time and scrolling through pinterest! all pictures ive ever posted are from there. i love and live for pinterest.

✿ a little tumblr guide :

for formatting your text, just select it and go from there. for the small text, select it and tap the “<s>” button.

for the collages / banners i've included in some of my posts, i go through pinterest, look for pictures that have similar colour palettes, download them and go to this website to make the collage. i don't recommend changing the size of it while on the page because it can ruin your pictures, just work with the predetermined size and once you're done, download your collage and resize it by cutting it with your gallery app.

for coloured text, you can select it and choose one of the fixed options; but if you want a specific colour, you can only do it from the tumblr website. first make a draft of your post, then go to this page to choose the hex code for the text you want to edit (the hex code is the one that's six characters long and made of numbers 0-9 and letters A-F, ex.: #A77BF9), once you have your code, go to this page, write whatever it is you want, select the “solid text” option (if you want a degradé one, you'll need more than one colour code), put your hex code and copy the text at the bottom of the website. now, back to your draft (remember, you can only do this from the website, not the app), click on the little settings wheel at the top right, at the end you'll see something that says “rich text”, open that menu and choose “html”. now, if you don't know about programming, your draft will look crazy, don't worry, that's just the html version of it. go through it until you find the text you want to modify, select it (only the text, not any other thing around it, if you see something like a <h1> or <b> anything with the < > symbols, do not touch those because you'll either delete everything or lose the formatting you might have already applied —if you accidentally delete those when changing the colour, don't worry, once you're done with the colour you can apply the formatting again just as you always do—), and in its place paste the long text you copied from the website. if you want to know if you did it right, at the top of the post there's a “preview” option, choose it and see if your text is good to go. now that you're done changing the colours, go back to the settings wheel and choose the option “rich text” again, so you can continue working on your post. it's kind of a mess, yes. but your posts will be a hundred times prettier. and you will learn the basics of html coding too.

little side note: if you've modified the html code of your post, always go back to the app before posting it and check if it looks okay because changing the html code makes you lose some formatting you might have already done, like organising pictures or adding a “keep reading” button. also, check the attached screenshots for a more visual tutorial!

hope this is usefull ♡ feel free to reach out again if you need help with anything else!

[introvertbard]

MAY 7, 2024: Hey there folks, my preindustrial travel series has reached 6,662 notes as of my last check!

Can you throw a bit of that attention towards my novel drafts? So far they're floating around Wattpad, but I'd love to have these be cleaned up and actually-published soon, and that takes "people reading them and telling others about it," lol.

I have a pinned post about them if you want to reblog that by itself, but here's some summaries and the cover-art photos here!

-

MOONFLOWERS (current link - https://www.wattpad.com/story/324856549-moonflowers ) - The Wild Hunt fucks around with Asian-American Alima Song's family in Ireland, and while everyone has heavy suspicions that they're being targeted for the impending Fairy Raid on Samhain, the Irish gods have a shitty time trying to help because... they're dozens of mounted fairy combatants who cursed a random family that doesn't even live in Ireland. What do you expect?

As of the latest chapter, I remembered that the Wild Hunt pulled off some Red Dead Redemption shit by chasing after Alima's car, and I frantically remembered that most modern people are NOT the Irish equivalent of mounted knights who are 20 years old with 15 years of riding/fighting experience. So now the Irish gods and the Tagalog anito have desperately asked civilian riders and reenactors to help with search-and-rescue for the Wild Hunt's victims.

Trying to get civilian horses to put up with SAFE AND CONTROLLED stunt-riding? It Goes Badly(TM), lmao.

So Alima Song's dad Ned Song will kill the Hunter in self-defense and accidentally end up with a claim to his kingdom. He's a carpenter and knows fuck-all about ruling besides that he killed a king, so Alima takes the throne instead, and she soon gets into a deconstruction of the "rags/middle-class to royalty" trope.

Turns out 1) inheriting a run-down kingdom from a notorious murderer leaves you with a TON of work, and 2) a brown Asian woman being tossed into high-society with spoiled rich people ends with a nice chunk of them assuming that the small Asian woman is just "Alima Song's maid." Depending on how they treat said "maid," they risk getting the shit slapped out of them for the very first time in their lives!

My informal summary for this is "a reverse Conan the Barbarian story," because I have the young queen of a run-down petty kingdom getting dragged off on "adventures" despite her best efforts, and therefore trying to get the fuck HOME.

This is only going to get hinted at in the ending of Moonflowers, but the effects of European colonization on the mortal world AND the Otherworld are going to be a reveal as to why the Folk have stalled at medieval/barely-industrial technology while the modern mortal world is, you know... modern.

-

THE CROCODILE GOD (current link - https://www.wattpad.com/story/324254621-the-crocodile-god ) - On a windy beach in California, Mirasol finds a shipwrecked man and takes him to the hospital. With no phone, no ID, and barely any clothes after the sea got done with him, the most information they can get is that his name is Haik, and for lack of better options, he’s discharged to Mirasol’s place.

Dark-skinned, covered in tattoos, and hailing from Australia, Haik is not the typical Filipino. He tells her stories of the Tagalogs’ far past, a foreign and unknown country–and soon finds out that he is Haik the sea-god, constantly searching for his mortal wife, and they are both stuck in a loop of reincarnation after their whale-goddess daughter was stillborn.

Unfortunately, she also finds out that he’s an undocumented immigrant.

-

Huge stonking content warning about this one!!! It's obviously about colonization in a MUCH more direct way than Moonflowers. A Tagalog god has to deal with the memories/aftermath of Spanish colonization and losing his followers, and then he has to deal with the CURRENT American colonization of "ICE is trying to deport this dark-skinned guy with lots of tattoos."

Family trauma features heavily in the backstory with Haik's stillborn first daughter. The story ends well with nobody getting deported/imprisoned, but getting there is ROUGH.

Preindustrial travel, and long explanations on why different distances are like that

Update March 1, 2024: Hey there folks, here's yet another update! I reposted Part 2a (the "medieval warhorses" tangent) to my writing blog, and I went down MORE of the horse-knowledge rabbit hole! https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/741423906984951808/my-post-got-cut-off-so-i-added-the-rest-of-it Update Jan 30, 2024: Hey folks, I've posted the updated version of this post on my blog, so I don't have to keep frantically telling everyone "hey, that's the old version of this post!" https://thebalangay.wordpress.com/2024/01/29/preindustrial-travel-times-part-1/

I should get the posts about army travel times and camp followers reformatted and posted to my blog around the end of the week, so I'll filter through my extremely tangled thread for them.

Part 2 - Preindustrial ARMY travel times: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask

Part 2a - How realistic warhorses look and act, because the myth of "all knights were mounted on huge clunky draft horses" just refuses to die: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/732043691180605440/helpful-things-for-action-writers-to-remember

Part 3 - Additional note about camp followers being regular workers AND sex-workers: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/740604203134828544/reblogging-the-time-looped-version-of-my

--

I saw a post on my main blog about how hiking groups need to keep pace with their slowest member, but many hikers mistakenly think that the point of hiking is "get from Point A to Point B as fast as possible" instead of "spending time outdoors in nature with friends," and then they complain that a new/less-experienced/sick/disabled hiker is spoiling their time-frame by constantly needing breaks, or huffing and puffing to catch up.

I run into a related question of "how long does it take to travel from Point A to Point B on horseback?" a lot, as a fantasy writer who wants to be SEMI-realistic; in the Western world at least, our post-industrial minds have largely forgotten what it's like to travel, both on our own feet and in groups.

People ask the new writer, "well, who in your cast is traveling? Is getting to Point B an emergency or not? What time of year is it?", and the newbies often get confused as to why they need so much information for "travel times." Maybe new writers see lists of "preindustrial travel times" like a primitive version of Google Maps, where all you need to do is plug in Point A and Point B.

But see, Google Maps DOES account for traveling delays, like different routes, constructions, accidents, and weather; you as the person will also need to figure in whether you're driving a car versus taking a bus/train, and so you'll need to figure out parking time or waiting time for the bus/train to actually GET THERE.

The difference between us and preindustrial travelers is that 1) we can outsource the calculations now, 2) we often travel for FUN instead of necessity.

The general rule of thumb for preindustrial times is that a healthy and prime-aged adult on foot, or a rider/horse pair of fit and prime-aged adults, can usually make 20-30 miles per day, in fair weather and on good terrain.

Why is this so specific? Because not everyone in preindustrial times was fit, not everyone was healthy, not everyone was between the ages of 20-35ish, and not everyone had nice clear skies and good terrain to travel on.

If you are too far below 18 years old or too far past 40, at best you will need either a slower pace or more frequent breaks to cover the same distance, and at worst you'll cut the travel distance in half to 10 or so miles. Too much walking is VERY BAD on too-young/old knees, and teenagers or very short adults may just have short legs even if they're fine with 8-10 hours of actual walking. Young children may get sick of walking and pitch a fit because THEY'RE TIREDDDDDDDDDD, and then you might need to stay put while they cry it out, or an adult may sigh and haul them over their shoulder (and therefore be weighed down by about 50lbs of Angry Child).

Heavy forests, wetlands and rocky hills/mountains are also going to be a much shorter "distance" per day. For forests or wetlands, you have to account for a lot of villagers going "who's gonna cut down acres of trees for one road? NOT ME," or "who's gonna drain acres of swamp for one road? NOT ME." Mountainous regions have their traveling time eaten by going UP, or finding a safer path that goes AROUND, so by the time you're done slogging through drier patches of wetlands or squeezing through trees, a deceptively short 10-15 miles in rough terrain might take you a whole day to walk instead of the usual half-day.

If you are traveling in freezing winters or during a rainstorm (and this inherently means you HAVE NO CHOICE, because nobody in preindustrial times would travel in bad weather if they could help it), you run the high risk of losing your way and then dying of exposure or slipping and breaking your neck, just a few miles out of the town/village.

Traveling in TOO-HOT weather is just as bad, because pushing yourself too hard and getting dehydrated at noon in the tropics will literally kill you. It's called heat-STROKE, not "heat-PARTY."

And now for the upper range of "traveling on horseback!"

Fully mounted groups can usually make 30-40 miles per day between Point A and Point B, but I find there are two unspoken requirements: "Point B must have enough food for all those people and horses," and "the mounted party DOESN'T need to keep pace with foot soldiers, camp followers, or supply wagons."

This means your mounted party would be traveling to 1) a rendezvous point like an ally's camp or a noble's castle, or 2) a town/city with plenty of inns. Maybe they're not literally going 30-40 miles in one trip, but they're scouting the area for 15-20 miles and then returning to their main group. Perhaps they'd be going to an allied village, but even a relatively small group of 10-20 warhorses will need 10-20 pounds of grain EACH and 20-30 pounds of hay EACH. 100-400 pounds of grain and 200-600 pounds of hay for the horses alone means that you need to stash supplies at the village beforehand, or the village needs to be a very large/prosperous one to have a guaranteed large surplus of food.

A dead sprint of 50-60 miles per day is possible for a preindustrial mounted pair, IF YOU REALLY, REALLY HAVE TO. Moreover, that is for ONE day. Many articles agree that 40 miles per day is already a hard ride, so 50-60 miles is REALLY pushing the envelope on horse and rider limits.

NOTE: While modern-day endurance rides routinely go for 50-100 miles in one day, remember that a preindustrial rider will not have the medical/logistical support that a modern endurance rider and their horse does.

If you say "they went fifty miles in a day" in most preindustrial times, the horse and rider's bodies will get wrecked. Either the person, their horse, or both, risk dying of exhaustion or getting disabled from the strain.

Whether you and your horse are fit enough to handle it and "only" have several days of defenselessness from severe pain/fatigue (and thus rely on family/friends to help you out), or you die as a heroic sacrifice, or you aren't QUITE fit enough and become disabled, or you get flat-out saved by magic or another rider who volunteers to go the other half, going past 40 miles in a day is a "Gondor Calls For Aid" level of emergency.

As a writer, I feel this kind of feat should be placed VERY carefully in a story: Either at the beginning to kick the plot off, at the climax to turn the tide, or at the end.

Preindustrial people were people--some treated their horses as tools/vehicles, and didn't care if they were killed or disabled by pushing them to their limits, but others very much cared for their horses. They needed to keep them in working condition for about 15-20 years, and they would not dream of doing this without a VERY good reason.

—

UPDATE January 13: Several people have gotten curious and looked at maps, to find out how a lot of cities are indeed spread out at a nice distance of 20-30 miles apart! I love getting people interested in my hyperfixations, lol.

But remember that this is the space between CITIES AND TOWNS. There should never be a 20-mile stretch of empty wilderness between City A and Town B, unless your world explains why folks are able to build a city in the middle of nowhere, or if something has specifically gone wrong to wipe out its supporting villages!

Period pieces often portray a shining city rising from a sea of picturesque empty land, without a single grain field or cow pasture in sight, but that city would starve to death very quickly in preindustrial times.

Why? Because as Bret Devereaux mentions in his “Lonely Cities” article (https://acoup.blog/2019/07/12/collections-the-lonely-city-part-i-the-ideal-city/), preindustrial cities and towns must have nearby villages (and even smaller towns, if large and prosperous enough!) to grow their food for them.

The settlements around a city will usually be scattered a few miles apart from each other, usually clustered along the roads to the city gates. Those villages and towns at the halfway point between cities (say 10-15 miles) are going to be essential stops for older/sick folks, merchants with cargo, and large groups like noble’s retinues and army forces.

Preindustrial armies and large noble retinues usually can’t make it far past 10-12 miles per day, as denoted in my addition to this post. (https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask )

[chuckeroo777]

Hey, anyone remember this fic? I never got around to finishing it, with this second part sitting in my drafts folder for months now. Since Deltarune is coming out tomorrow(tm), I figured I’d just post what I have, since 3+4 will probably destroy most of the head canons this fic is built on. (Ralsei and Vessie might literally be the same character???) Anyway, enjoy half a chapter.

Vessie's Big Adventure: Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Welcome back! Sorry it's been a while. Been busy writing for my other page. But now I'm back, and ready to do chapter 2 of my second most popular AU story!

Last we left off, Vessie stumbled into the dark world and made friends with some troubled teens and a small round boy.

Awakening:

Vessie wakes up on the second day feeling refreshed. Sans' couch was surprisingly comfy once all the loose change was removed. Vessie eats a space food bar for breakfast, and they and Sans head to school to meet with Alphys.

Getting signed up for school takes longer than expected, mostly because Sans keeps cracking dad jokes. (He insists that it's part of his cover. Vessie reminds him that he's posing as their uncle, not their father.)

School starts, and Vessie introduces themself to the class. Alphys is a little worried, since this creates an odd number for the group projects, but everyone is surprised when Kris asks if they can make a group of three.

While initially excited to have their new friend as part of their group, Susie and Kris are slightly dismayed to find that Vessie is a very good student, paying attention and answering questions with gusto. Berdly is uncharacteristically impressed.

Once class is over, Vessie Kris and Susie head over to the closet, only to be interrupted by Noelle. The romantic context goes right over Vessie's head, who thinks studying at the librarby together is a great idea. Vessie decides to head over right away, letting Kris and Susie check on the dark world without them.

Noelle and Vessie head over to the Librarby. Berdly is happy to see them, glad to have someone else around who could potentially match wits with him. Vessie finds Berdly unnerving, but is too polite to say anything.

After grabbing a few books, they head to the computer lab, only to find it pitch black inside. Berdly reassures them that as Head Volunteer Assistant, he knows exactly where the light switch is.

Berdly does not find the light switch, and the three end up falling into the dark world.

A Cyber's World:

The three end up in the cyber field, and Vessie assures the other two they know a way out. They just have to find the fountain. Before they can get far however, they run into queen.

Queen tries to entice them to her side, but Noelle gets nervous and tries to run. Queen sics some werewires on them, and all hell breaks loose. Noelle gets separated from Vessie and Berdly (And is eventually discovered by Kris and Susie), while the other two push ahead.

However, once they realize they accidentally ditched Noelle, Queen approaches them again and offers a deal. Become her willing peons in world domination, and she won't roboticize Noelle.

Vessie and Berdly take the deal, knowing computers can't lie. (Author's note: Computers can totally lie.)

Queen takes the two on a tour of her mansion, during which Vessie realizes she isn't as bad as they initially thought, and Berdly realizes that taking over the world is a really good idea.

After a little while, Queen has an important news update. Not only did she find Noelle, but the heroes are beginning to make their way towards the mansion.

Queen takes her peons to the roller coaster for an epic confrontation. After Noelle fails to be intimidating, she is swapped out for Vessie. The $!$! squad is shocked to see Vessie has once again heel turned.

Vessie begins putting on a show, monologuing about how they were evil all along, and the $!$! squad has fallen right into their trap, only for Berdly to bust in and immediately undermine the vibes.

The ensuing battle quickly goes off the rails (lol) as Berdly's coaster car is sent careening into Vessie's.

[dashawfrostart]

These Two Weeks In "Time & Again" #14: My Feelings For Facebook Are Still Surprisingly Mutual... And I'm Getting There!

A big announcement! The artist contracted a wee bit cold 🤧 This is sad, for it broke my impressive "I never get sick!" streak that lasted for, like, 7 years or so. I guess I'm not gonna get that notorious achievement anymore. And fine, see if I care! I don't like achievements anyway (which is, perhaps, pretty clearly stated in Chapter 3 😁) But don't get me wrong: under any circumstances pathetic excuses such as "having a cold or something alike" most certainly do not set me free from working on "Time & Again" 😤 They might hinder my progress, which is truly unfortunate, since the work is almost done - but that will not stop me, by any means. *for some reason, I really wanna put that weird "shake fish" smiley from DeviantArt in here*

Trying to prettify and overhaul, completely or partially, the social pages for the upcoming release of Chapter 5 is not easy at all... A long time ago - and that means well over a month ago - I submitted a name change request for my art page on Facebook, to better reflect the current obsession priority and certain ethics of the author in this great adventure. I was told that it might take up to 3 days for the changes to take effect, if approved. But it's been already that long, and there's still no change, nor can I submit a new name change request. I mean, I absolutely don't mind "Art by Dasha W. Frost" as a page title, but, honestly, "Official Time & Again Graphic Narrative Page" would simply be better right now, while I'm still working on this "genre abomination experiment of a graphic novel". That's a little bit sad to me. So this is where that post title comes from. Facebook seems to really dislike me - but you know what?! My feeling towards it is truly mutual 🤣

Somehow, I believe, constant dissatisfaction with the social netwroks has always been one of the most prominent topics I wrote on back in the day, when I used to have a secret blog on Wordpress. However, it's getting a tad too old for me (not the blog, but the topic; the blog is long gone), so I don't want to keep up with the "tradition" and I'll just move on without it. ... also, how I accidentally misspelled "networks" in the second last sentence really makes me think of yet another one Ultravox song. So, once I realized I typo'd, I just decided to leave it as is, for the sake of fun association. (I sure somehow became a big fan of this band over the course of, like, 5 months 😅)

But on a more positive note!!! I finished up all the teasers for Chapter 5 that I had in mind (and one of them you've already seen in the previous post 😁), and that's one of the biggest and the most important things I've done for "Time & Again" within the last two weeks. W00t and doot!!! You know what else happened?.. I finished up all the new inner covers (also known as Vorsatz und Nachsatz in book printing ☝) and the main cover for Chapter 5! And I really like the results 😁 (some snippets of the progress go below)

I guess you will see the finished product soon enough 😁 And yet again, I want to praise Krita's Assistant Tool: I used Vanishing Point assistant to draw a better urban perspective for the cover art. I think it turned out pretty good and significantly less crooked. Haha)))

I also finished up the author's letter that will be included into the chapter as a bonus material. I started writing it long ago, gradually adding more and more to it as the time went by. This is not what I usually do, for, at times, writing in segments might quickly become a disaster for me. Even writing future snippets/drafts of the blog posts in here often represents a sort of challenge to me - although I clearly seem to magically succeed somehow. (yay? 🥳 I guess?..) But nevertheless, this is what happened to the author's letter/afterword for Chapter 5. And it turned out good... but big 😅 However, after an attempt to figure out how to make it shorter... I simply decided to keep it as is. Because WHATEVER! You can read the whole thing if you want. It's moderately entertaining after all 😁 Or you can skips some parts in it. Or you can skip the whole thing (because you probably came here for the artworks anyway, right?..). I don't care. I just did what I thought would be good and what makes sense to me, as an author. That's all, deal with it! 😎 The readers are not obligated to like everything 😁 Also, the author's letter/afterword turned out very sincere. ... Heh, as if I can ever be insincere? That's ridiculous.

"Then, what's left now?", you ask me. Good question. Indubitably. The right answer is: not much. Not much at all. Just one more session of proofreading (damn, I hate hate hate discovering typos already after I posted stuff! 😫), and tiny touch-ups here and there, and assembling the last bonus pages from the materials I have on hand. And I also need to write a short dialogue for a certain background. An ugly dialogue, I must admit. But I'll rickroll my sleeves up (for realsies), and I'll do it. Preferably in one sitting. Perhaps even today. 💪 And shortly after that I'll finally initiate the last stage of work: I'll recut it into a webcomic. And I'll finish up drawing all the extra designs that I need for the itch.io release.

I ask myself this question more and more frequently lately: how did Lothar even end up as a protagonist after all?.. That's quite a turn of events. Originally created in late 2014 - mid-2015 as a side character/antagonist for a story about catpeople that I never happened to finish writing (and not only that, but apparently, I never even posted any substantial artwork of the catpeople Freia and Fjolvarr together, so I cannot show almost any proof... sadness), Lothar has sure come a long way. He's been through a lot - thanks to me. I never really asked his permission; I mostly just did whatever pleased me as a writer/artist. And now... we can see him as a main character in an effing blooooody graphic novel - a format that I haven't even been familiar with up until a few years ago! That is quite a change!!! And what the peck even happened to me as a content creator? I think I possibly lost my mind. But again... Lothar has sure been through a lot in the last few earthly years. And my first comedic one-shot is probably gonna be about that.

But I think that's enough talking for today. The important piece of a dialogue won't be finished today if I keep talking. See you next time!

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

I Wont Sign Back On Until Maybe Monday Or Tuesday (Of This September 2023)

[Note: Only Read This If You Want To, It Is Optional. also even though this has "for everyone" post, but I still rather have this be read by a "mature audience only" like the tags shows...]

I first want to say that, I notice a mistype on the last post I did....and well, after I post this, I will fix that...

I'm still not feeling okay with what happen, plus it isn't right that someone, not just me, if I'm not the only one going through this...

can't see their own saved drafts, just because one of their posts is mature, and wasn't placed as "for everyone" even if when you sign back in, you should still be able to view YOUR stuff, but then I find out something is just off...if this is part of the update, then I just don't know if I like it....plus maybe I can ask about advice about the whole problem of my not being able to get to my saved drafts, and the only reason I had saved the one I was still writing well yesterday now, and lucky I was able to save the original but I know I had wrote more when I put the copy of what I wrote on here...

it's like I was still writing it even before I signed in, and when I signed on, I still had the thing I had open up where I moved what I wrote on to here....you know, but then I had to leave the room because of a certain reason, and I didn't want to risk losing what I had put on here, so I had saved it in draft, not knowing that it's being....well, how it is right now....

also while I'm not happy about it not being visible right now, but in the post before this one, I had accidentally put "visible" instead of "invisible" when talking about it.

also privacy can be really important.

and hopefully the "search history" that is being talked about, means just in tumblr.....I wouldn't feel okay if it went outside that zone...

and yeah, even if not everything I wrote that I added when trying to finish writing on tumblr, will be at 100%....

and yeah, double checking and it does seem that some of the still important stuff is still there, so it was a good thing I was already writing it on the computer before placing it on to here, and well, lucky I didn't ex-out the thing I was writing it on or I be even more unhappy.

the episode of Helluva Boss Season 2 Episode 6, really did make me feel a lot better from, the other thing that had me feeling not so great.....I will post about it in a few days, thank goodness I was still able to keep some of it.....but the whole thing that is going on with my draft right now, is still not okay...

I just wont save anything with draft on here for a while....not until I get,whatever is the problem, fixed somehow....

I just need time to emotionally heal, do some self healing my way.

maybe just lay down in bed and sleep all day, or if I'm not able to do that all day, then maybe I can do some reading, or like binge watch some episodes of shows I like and even watch a few movies...

well, I'm looking over something....and I might know what the problem is.....maybe, and it might not have anything to do with my mature post that has that Crossover drawing, because I wanted to put it in mature just in case because of one of the characters in it...

everyone else is basically fine, it's just one character....and well if what I'm theorizing right now is true, then it could mean that there is a perfect logical explaining about why my saved drafts are all invisible and I can't find or see them where they would normally be at....

so yeah, what it says about the community labels, and there is some words like "Show", "Blur" and "Hide"....

and all has "Hide" I mean I saw it before I signed off, and well I decided to watch some episodes of Steven Universe, which I'm done at least for now, but might watch more later...

I still need to get some sleep....but yeah, I think if I switch them from "hide" to "show" maybe it will fix that problem and I can check to see if my drafts are visible again, but if it does work, I wont say it right away, because after I post this and edit the last post I did before this one.....I'm heading to bed, and I will sign back on either Monday or Tuesday.

things haven't really been perfect, and it doesn't help that Boomers are in charge, well more like Toxic-Boomers, well even if some boomers are okay, but I don't trust all of them and I think I can only trust a few. and I don't want to talk about those reasons at this moment.

I guess it's like knowing there are good boomers, but some boomers who ya can't truly trust because of certain reasons.

and once again, I rather not say right now, and would rather just write about it in my diary for right now until I feel ready to talk about it fully, well, I might of before, or maybe I haven't...

anyway before I try to test the theory, I will edit the last post I did before this one, and fix one of the words and change the word "visible" to "invisible" and maybe put it in bold, to show which part had the mixing the words of visible and invisible on...

I know that some might not fully get why I also don't fully trust all Male-Angels, of course that would include the Fallen Ones, and I do mean both sides....even if there are some Male-Angels I can trust, I want to keep my guard up, and yeah as weird as it might sound...

if I got my hands really cold, I had the thought of wanting to place both of those hands on each side of Lucifer's face....

yeah, one of the weirdest thoughts I had this year...maybe I can talk more about that odd and very weird thought in a future post.

sometimes my hands do get really cold......take me to him so the deed can be done. XD

yeah that weirdness kind of cheered me up a little, but I still think I need bit more self and emotional healing, I just need time.

I'm a weird and defective earth angel, who is but one of possibly many of Cain and Seth's Grandchildren....with a lot of Greats in there.

I still don't think Cain was born a monster, he was deeply hurting and it only got worse the more no one gave him the proper help he needed, and he is still not the first to give a "game over"....

and yeah, I still think both him and Abel were both in the wrong, but for maybe different reasons.....Abel needs to understand he isn't 100% innocent either, and if I had to do so....I would put my cold hands on his face too....

and yeah, anyway I'm weird and I'm still gonna hope that Jesus is only a distant cousin, because of stuff I had read about before...

I don't mind that he is family, but I don't want him to cross lines, and I don't want the antichrist to cross lines either...

their masculine energy fighting can be a problem I think, and yeah the whole Lucifer starting that rebellion, and both sides fighting during that imbalance between the masculine and feminine, is still not okay.

for now, I will post this as "for everyone" but it will have the tags "mature audiences only" and "not for kids" because well just in case.

I might change this by editing it from "for everyone" to "mature"

also not everyone has to agree about the whole believing in a Goddess now, just don't be Toxic-Religious about it like that Toxic-Religious jerk who kept throwing those hurtful words at me, which once again, I had figured out they were misusing them...

I mean if your going to use those words that has to do with The Heavenly Father, do it properly and don't hurt someone's feelings with them, just because they say they believe in both God and Goddess now....

I think maybe, while I'm doing some self and emotional healing, I might do some meditation, well meditation my way by just listening to some music and having my eyes closed...

I'm going to listen to Agnes's music.

like one of the songs being "don't go breaking my heart"

not to be confused for the other song of course...

oh yeah, and the song "Release Me"....if I want to try to do meditation to those songs, and maybe a few others as well, then I'm gonna try.

and if it were possible, I would still want to put my cold hands on both sides of Lucifer's face.....at the moment they aren't really cold or even a little cold right now.....but give it time, they will be....

and if I was able to, I would put my hands on both sides of his face....even if he turns out to be much taller than me, because I'm like around 5'5".....I will jump to his face if I have to....

I don't know how tall he is.....but if he is like way taller than me, then I might need to try to jump to his face to put my cold hands on both sides of his face......I know it might not really be possible, but I can dream right...?

some might not fully get it, but maybe some would kind of get it...?

I don't know.....but anyway, guess my weirdness coming out means I'm feeling a bit more better, but I still need some time to do some self healing, and some emotional healing.

maybe watch some shows and movies I like and do some reading, as well as playing some video games.

anyway like I said, I might not sign back on until Monday or Tuesday.

also like my calling dibs on Mammon's butt, because his greed energy crossing lines.....cause no one messes with my need for coca-cola.....of course the price went back to normal....but Mammon was the first guy I had thoughts of wanting to punch like that, which I'm not going to say, but if some seen the last few posts that talked about it, you might get it......

also if anyone is gonna put their cold hands on both sides of Lucifer's face, well it's either gonna be me or someone else....

I don't think my hands are cold at the moment and might not get cold enough for the task....doesn't mean I still don't want to try to do that.....I mean if I was able to, even if it might not be possible at the moment.

Viva La Feminine Revolution! and well the proper balance between the positive feminine and masculine energies.

speaking of "revolution" maybe after I get some sleep, I will watch RWBY.....but maybe before that, I can watch Transformers Movie or Show....

also I had realized something about Megatron's Mentor, if Sari is Megatron's daughter (and also with that new theory I have that so is Optimus Prime, which I will explain about that in a future post....)

so yeah, if it turns out that both TFA-Megatron and Optimus are both Sari's Sires (and because of the Allspark).....that would make Megatron's Mentor and Optimus's Mentor......

"Grand-Mentors" or like Sari could call them "Grandma Termagax" and "Grandma Codexa"....

yeah, there is a reason why I ended up thinking that Optimus, well TFA-Optimus might be the Other Sire/Dad.....

I mean let's think about TFA Shattered Glass, if some info is true and it is SG-Optimus in the lab instead, it would make sense that SG-Sari was born in that same lab.....and well, it wouldn't just be that both versions are two different people and are like half-sisters, because they have two different Mechs as their Cybertronian Fathers....

and well, I can try to explain about this weird theory maybe either on Monday or Tuesday....and maybe during one of those days, I can post one of the weirdest drawing ideas that came into my mind....

but yeah, now my weird fan-headcanon is that both TFA-Optimus and Megatron are both Sari's Cyber-Biological Dads....

and it was a accident caused by the Allspark, and Megatron ended up being the carrier....

once again, that version of Megatron is long overdue for that Hatchling Shower....but besides the whole Optimus being like Dad-3, with Megatron being Dad-2 and Isaac being Dad-1....

we know that some fans had formed the theory about Megatron being Sari's Cybertronian Father/Sire since placing the pieces together when figuring out she was born in the same lab where Megatron was being kept.....

and well since Megatron is technically the one who made TFA-Soundwave (even if in a episode later, Isaac tried to take credit after the whole other Sound-Waves were made....did he forget that he didn't really make them, and it was all Megatron.)

so that would mean that TFA-Soundwave, is also Termagax's Grandson.....and yeah, Sari would technically be that Soundwave Jr.'s big sister....

and anyway, maybe it does help to talk about the fan theories and headcanons that has to do with families in Transformers different universes and timelines....

I think that in Hazformers Crossover, if Termagax was a lizard demon...I think she would be possibly much taller than Megatron...

I'm gonna be re-reading some chapters of the story that is "Becoming a Demon" by Blitzy-Blitzwing.

and well maybe when I feel at 100% and not just maybe at a 94% or 98% better, I can try to do another ship drawing of Alastor from Hazbin Hotel and Amethyst from Steven Universe....

if we can OTP ship Blitzhusk, then well, I can Crossover OTP those two, I'm weird and some times, ships are gonna get weird, and my wanting to ship Alastor and Amethyst is gonna be in the weird zone...

anyway I'm starting to feel, not so great now, not like the sad feeling I had ended up getting because of the stuff I had talked about....

I think I should just hurry this up and post this....and then edit that last post I did, and then try to change the whole "hide" to "show" and maybe if it works, it will show my drafts....hopefully.

anyway I think taking some time to do my way of self and emotional healing, could help me feel better after the stuff that made me feel sad, and not just the whole draft thing (but hopefully it can be fixed soon...) but I mean like thoughts about how some Male-Angels can be jerks, and yeah it was that new Helluva Boss episode that made me feel better, and well....I can talk more about it either on Monday or Tuesday....

anyway hopefully I will feel more happy later, even if talking about some weird thoughts about wanting to place my cold hands on each side of Lucifer's face, as well as my weird theories about Megatron and Optimus from TFA, did help some...

so yeah, see ya later and hope some can understand where I'm coming from with how I was feeling and hopefully it will work out.

oh and if I'm not on by Tuesday, I might be back on Wednesday instead.

and after I edit what I need to edit in the post that came before this one, I'm going to go to sleep...I think that not so great feeling stop, but just in case, I'm going to hurry and do what I need to do, by editing what I need to edit and then go to sleep.

once again, if I'm not back on Monday or Tuesday, I might be back on Wednesday.....and by one of those days, I will post a drawing that will be weird, well I think it's weird but it's also a little funny, it also has to do with a story I'm writing, but I'm not going to say what, plus I am still working on the chapter and haven't posted yet....

anyway I'm just gonna go now, and edit what I need to edit from that last post and do that whole other thing I mentioned and then I'm going to sleep...so good night, well it's morning now, but I haven't went to sleep yet but I will soon....and well hopefully I will be feeling at 100% even after the sad feelings that happen...at least Fizzy and Ozzie made me feel better in that new episode, even though before I checked to see if that episode was up, I had those thoughts about Male-Angels...well I can talk more about that later, maybe in a few days.....anyway see ya later, I'm going to go to sleep. (but I'm going to do that edit first, and then go to sleep.)

[sil-and-seals-blog-something]

XD I think the general Gothamites would eventually give them the name ‘The Children of Gotham’, not only because it’s telling of who they are, but also suitably foreboding enough for some of the rumors they’ve heard about the kids’ successes and the odd foreboding feeling some people would probably get around Danny.

MAD SCIENCE LAIR! It’s eventually even crazier when they learn how to scrub the mansion of any evidence of their work (they had to learn how to do so so that Tim’s parents wouldn’t catch on). It’s a frightening piece of information that many rogues learn after being put through the ringer. These kids could’ve killed any of them and no one would’ve known. The fact is enough to keep those who have gone through it quiet. The third Robin when working with the Children of Gotham is just marginally more creepy than usual, is all they’ll tell.

Danny would absolutely be a menace to rogues as well. He’d totally leave sticky notes behind like “Hey, took a sample of this gas, hope you don’t mind!” whenever he thinks he can get away with it. He channels his gremlin energy and annoy anyone until they wind up some how fond of him and his baffling antics.

Alfred would absolutely let them trust him at their own pace. He’d probably bring food over for them to “sample” to better understand the recipe (he just wants to get them extra food). I just love the idea of Alfred teaching this bundle of kids how to cook and eventually having some of the kids come up and ask for advice on other things in their lives.

The imagery of Jazz and Batman is immaculate. Just this red-headed thirteen (13) year old sitting down and looking at the Batman with the best therapist-like appearance (Jazz would totally be itching to write pages upon pages of observations about Batman’s mental state) she can manage. It makes for an odd sight to pass by, but definitely not the weirdest thing Gothamites have seen.

I love Tim just absolutely being down to take over Gotham with his pseudo-family that he’s had for a few days now. It’s the pack bonding and osmosis of insanity. Bruce would feel dawning dread when he seems the glint of a mad science weapon made Fenton style under Tim’s cape, just the utter confusion of how the Fenton style works and now having it right there makes him want to figure it out while he also knows that he’ll likely never look at engineering the same again if he does figure it out. Tim knows this. Tim knows exactly what Bruce is going through, but he was taught peek petty by the Children of Gotham and was convinced by them to be a little petty towards Bruce for them. He already signed up for the 12 year plan, a little pettiness is simply good fun in comparison.

I love Dick having no idea that the kids have taken to having lessons with Alfred or that they even figured out who Alfie was. He’s just being slowly worn down by the kids without realizing the havoc their wrecking back in Gotham.

I just melt at the cuteness of the interactions between Jason/Jason’s gang and the kids. It’s just a mutual understanding and desire to keep each other safe while in Gotham, it’s always so adorable. It’s also hilarious that Jason is just so down to watch these kids play the long game and watch the dramatics. He can appreciate a good, long term plan with the appropriate amount of dramatics after all.

(Also, I totally didn’t just accidentally leave this in my drafts for a few minutes, thinking that I posted it already, haha, that’d be silly)

As it turns out, Danny makes a pretty good leader. His little gang of homeless children has grown immensely, both from picking up strays and from assimilating other gangs into his group.

Danny might only be 10 and still figuring out his powers but dang, intangibility and flight are over powered even before you add invisibility and laser blasts. At first he regretted sneaking into the lab alone to check out the portal his parents made in this basement. Waking up in a cold alley in a city you've never heard of is a terrifying experience even without the corrupt cops trying to sell you into human trafficking, but finding out he had powers and could do whatever he wanted? That was great. It no longer mattered that adults didn't listen to him or chased him around. He could do anything now. Be anything. Take anything.

He and the people under his protection often robbed places, never banks or anything but high class restaurants and stores that usually wouldn't even let them in through the front doors. Yeah, Danny can admit most of thier robberies were because of grudges the other kids had because of how they were treated but Danny being ten thought this was fine.

The real issue was Gothams Paw Patrol (who absolutely hate being called that :3 ) they were always on thier case, Dannys especially. They kept insisting that the system could help them -Danny called bull. No one helped him or Jazz back in Amity and it was waaaay nicer that Gotham- and kept getting him and his fellow kids arrested. That didn't really matter. Anti-meta stuff never worked on him so getting himself the other kids out was no big deal.

After overhearing a conversation between Nightwing and one of the other bats a kid came into thier current secret base announcing that Nightwing was poor and the other bats weren't. This caught everyone attention. Appearently Nightwing was trying to establish himself outside of the colony cause he didn't get along great with whoever the bats super daddy was, which was fair. A lot of them were runaways for one reason or another and knew a bunch of reasons why you wouldn't want to except "free" money.

This led to them fetching Nightwings "wingdings" and batarangs instead of keeping them/selling them like they do with the others, sharing some of thier spoils with him like the groceries, jewelry, fancy clothes, ect that they stole.

Dick even catches one of the kids in his apartment in Bludhaven filling up his fridge which has him panicking about his secret id being compromised. Luckly the kids had only followed him there and didn't think to check who was on the lease or anything cause they assumed it would be a fake name or something.

Just Dick getting forcibly adopted by a child gang.

[melting-tofu]

something he likes of you - 4nemo edition (seperately)

▪

notes: modern au, including both sfw and nsfw parts! pure fluff for the first half, under the cut is nsfw, minors please do not interact.

chat: hi, i have 7 drafts and 9 untouched asks right now, 14 of them were requested, man i'm updating so slow </3, some of them got me stuck with the plot. and i do have the work overload, when one is done the other goes in. i'm sorry to all those who has been waiting for too long! a must in the next week for me is to rush asap and publish at least 2 posts, one (sfw) is requested and the other (nsfw) is not, like a collab i joined?, stay tuned <3 and as always: minors please don't interact with nsfw posts.

▪-------▪

sfw branches:

Aether:

this boy loves seeing you in his comfy sweaters. like, he feels so special because you like wearing his clothes! how could you not? they are warm, they hug you perfectly and his scent is calming too 👉👈 though he doesn't admit out loud, he sure bites his bottom lip to prevent the noises of joy when he sees you wearing something of his. there are several times he walked in on you trying on the clothes he left in bed too, and oh, the way you struggled with how oversized a certain shirt was, so cute <3

Kazuha:

absolutely melts when you touch his hair, just run your fingers through it and tell him how soft it is and he's on heaven! he allows you do his hair whenever you want to, not minding whatever style you choose. of course on the other end, will you let him do yours too? he isn't really creative in this and often gives you some simple hairstyles but he's actually trying! we all approve his efforts right? also loves it even more when you attach some cute hairclips on him, doesn't care if it's childish because as long as you like it then he's happy! :D

Venti:

this is weird but... pillow fights! he's a funny guy, often coming up with some jokes before bedtime that usually end you both up in a fluffy war :') as long as you're okay with it, he's not going easy on you either (except when it's too harsh), whatever you do, there can only be one winner. if he wins, his prize isn't as much special as he only wants to oversleep with you in his arms until the next morning. if you win then it's up to you! please don't put up a real fightー

Xiao:

he likes to sneak out with you at 3 in the morning for a drink run, he personally will choose milk tea. at first it was your idea, but xiao could never deny you and he decided to indulge you once.... until you asked for it again, again, and again, and he grew to like it??? what an unhealthy habit, or hobby, of his </3 and yours too! don't look at me as if you're innocent >:( xiao also likes taking pictures of you (with your permission) during the moment because you just look so cute sipping your drink.

nsfw version:

Aether (dirty talk, degradation):

who expects a nice, innocent-looking boy like him can whisper the dirtiest things to you in bed? actions completely contrasting to his words, with soft gestures on your body, he playfully nibs at your ear and tells you all sorts of things that are so out of character for him. he loves how embarrassed you get from his vulgar words, they just make you become more submissive to him and he feels proud of his doing.

"hm? don't tell me you're turned on merely by what i told you just now? i've barely touched you..."

it's also a win-win if you're wearing only his shirt, because he can humilate you for creaming all over and dirtying his most favorite sweater.

Kazuha (hair pulling):

about his hair again... he finds it hot when you accidentally pull at his hair because of the overstimulation he's giving you, it just... turns him on even more?? his cheeky grin fades once you cry out an apologize that you didn't mean it, but don't worry, he enjoyed it and wishes you to do it again.

"sorry for what? you thought that hurt me? do it again, i would like to see you try."

keep pulling at it... his hair gets so messy the next morning. he will laugh at the way you keep apologizing for doing it too roughly, instantly getting cut off by a kiss and when he yanks at your hair to pull away... oh.

Venti (pillow riding, dirty talk)

pillow fights... who knows such an innocent act like that would end you up like this? you're clinging onto your boyfriend, sobbing into his neck as he guides you across the pillow. this is an unmentioned reward for him now that he won the fight... he knows that you want something better, something to fill you up but he's not giving it to you that easily, because you lost, it's only fair that you indulge him right?

"greedy... you want me that much? go on, prove just how much you're desperate for my cock."

▪-------▪

this is like torturing, him only allowing you to get yourself off on the pillow while hissing dirty things into your ears, talking about how low you can get for his body...

Xiao (oral - m receiving):

he made you trip on purpose, making you spill all the tea left over him. it was not much, but he used it as the excuse to "make it up to him" because you caused a mess... and here you are, on your knees and being face-fucked by him. you dig your nails into his thighs in order to keep yourself up and for him to slow down but he can push you back, forcing you to take his greedy dick and clicking his tongue whenever you gag. despite his rough pounding, his free hand is gently caressing your cheek and wiping your drool away.

"my fault? it should be your fault for asking for it so early in the morning..."

he watches you through half lidded eyes. sucking him like a straw like that, it's pathetic, you're pathetic, how can he not have dirty thoughts later when you two go out for a drink run again?

i take back my words when i said aether didn't seem like the type to swear for me

[hikunn]

treasure's hair pt2!

nebly’s note : this has been in my drafts for like two months now 😭😭 only posting it now tho sorry 🙏 part one

YEDAM.

boa noona this is for you

a pigtails typa guy

has scrunchies on his wrist 🌝

likes his perm too much so he won't let you straighten it

wants you to put pins in his hair

for that y2k aesthetic u know

lets you play around with hairspray

yedam finds it funny when his hair turns crunchy bcs of the spray

"oooh! crunchier than the bag of cheetos i forgot to close!"

JAEHYUK.

RIBBONS AND BOWS RIBBONS AND BOWS :(((((

wants you to put anything and everything in his hair

headbands, bows (a lot of them), clips, etc.

STOPPP HES SO CUTEEEEE

might as well have a tea party while ur at it

playful but will teach you abt hair products

it's a very soft but memorable moment

"tea party in my closet later?"

ASAHI.

i bet his hair smells super nice

LIKE STRAWBERRIES

and it's SOOOO soft too

asahi loves it when you just touch his hair

loves when you brush through it

omg he's a sucker for scalp massages

what if hypothetically you find a bald spot

you ask him what happened right

"oh so you see jeongwoo accidentally shaved some off bcs he was trying to draw pengsoo on my head but yk that really didn't work out and now it looks like that! ha ha..."

JEONGWOO.

he bought himself a new razor right

tells you to sit back and watch him cut his hair all by himself

coMPLETELY messes up

cut his bangs super short

"hey y/n... think you can fix this?" LLLOOOLL

you sigh

disappointed but not surprised!

you try your best to thin and even out his bangs (w scissors not w a razor)

"you think you can give me a fade next?"

JUNGHWAN.

will probably fall asleep

ask him if he likes his hair

u get a snore and a “huh? what?”

has absolutely zero trust in you

very hesitant when you offer to cut his hair for him

surprised when it actually turns out good

you fail to tell him u actually had no idea what u were doing LMAO

“you and scissors don’t look good together…”

JIHOON

thinks ur doing everything wrong

"do NOT burn my hair. YOURE BURNING MY hAIR?? IM AN IDOL I CAN'T AFFORD BURNT HAIR??"

worries for absolutely no reason

ends up liking the finished product

which is just a ponytail... bcs he wouldn't let you do anything else 😢

but then posts it on weverse

"doesn't my hair look so good rn?? i had complete trust in y/n!!"

masterlist

© 2022 by hikunn