#note that the funny language used here was not something i was capable of at 14

[whetstonefires]

What is your Hogwarts house?

I don't think that's considered a question in good taste anymore lmao.

And, actually, I never liked it much even as a kid, because sorting discourse did not adhere to the framework shown in the text. It consistently drifted to rigorous application of the ruleset laid out by the hat in its little song, which was blatantly called out as a convenient simplification about one page after the formula was originally presented.

Like. The fact that each cohort is broken down into four roughly equal pods and lineage is clearly a major determining factor, as is personal preference, is made clear very early. This is a cultural institution, that shapes the characters who grow within it quite as much as it's assigned based on their innate traits, and within the framework of which people actively look for identity elements to define themselves by.

People in my high school would be sorting adult fictional characters and doing elaborate balancing of their True Natures as revealed by their various plot events and defining life choices and patterns of behavior in their own generally dramatic canons and I'd be like. Okay, what do you think they were like when they were eleven though.

What were their values at eleven? What parts of their potential to be Like That were developed enough to show up on a psychic scan by a sapient hat, at eleven? What backstories are we assuming they're coming into this from; this man is a duke from fantasy medieval europe are we going to analogize him to a posh normie family, or the magic snobs, or are we dimensional-teleporting his baby self into wizard school?

Look, assigning Hogwarts houses to grown-ass adults on the basis of their adult developed identities doesn't make sense, that is very clearly not how anything works, this is a child-sorting algorithm. You have to apply it to children or it's invalid.

...also I was a Ravenclaw. I knew this. Everyone who had ever met me knew this. Any and every online quiz I was convinced to take knew this. I was so boring. I could not even make a serious case for my being one of the people who'd argue my way into another category I was minorly qualified for, or get there on family values or something, because I didn't want to not be a dumb nerd and my family is also dumb nerds. I was such an easy sort it was no fun at all, I was a walking stereotype.

It was embarrassing, is what it was. I was a flat character with no depth, rip child me. It was like if you could fail astrology by adhering precisely to your horoscope.

(My younger sisters wanted to be Gryffindor but consistently tested Hufflepuff and vice versa respectively, and I do not at this time remember which was which. The tests that gave you percentile rankings did give them minors in the ones they wanted tho.)

Anyway looking back on this in reaction to your ask, I find myself reflecting that House affiliation actually worked very much like gender, in that the way it was assigned was treated in-story as being based on absolute inherent qualities that defined a whole person, but quite clearly per the text actually worked by finding a schema you had an acceptable percent overlap with at a young age, and then setting you up to be perceived and instructed through that filter for the rest of your life.

The affiliation had meaning! But it was mostly meaning derived from the affiliation, and its social weight.

The ability of characters to find the sometimes deeply hidden Potential to live up to the person they aspired to be, thereby retroactively justifying the Sorting they had cajoled their way into, is like a major story element, you know?

I feel like this is yet another one of those places where rowling is a fairly gifted drawer of engaging caricatures; where when she was drawing on her actual lived experience (as opposed to hearsay and stereotype) to create something imitating that thing (in this case Belonging To Category) by intuition, the result would have nicely proportioned parts and some solid symbolic details, and work on an internal level more-or-less consistently, if not necessarily according to any strict logic.

Rather than being realistic it had a feeling of reality, which is in itself a perfectly reasonable way to approach light fiction. I often find myself wishing I could work in this more gestural manner sometimes, instead of drilling relentlessly down to detail.

The trouble is that things like those verisimilitudinous gaps between what people do and how they interpret their own doing, which lend the setting a great deal of dynamism, are only sometimes intentional, and the longer she extends any one bit and the more seriously she attempts to take it, the more likely she is to fall into the gaps and loudly deny that she has done any such thing, while digging herself into a pit of stupid.

[lvis44]

Senna or Superman // LH44

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warnings: Language, Angst, Talk of this seasons difficulties, Suggestive dialogue, (Felipe Massa jump scare mention), Not Edited

Word Count: 4.3k+

Summary: Brazil 2024 was unforgiving, but amidst it all some greatness can still be achieved.

Notes: Hey y'all, like I said, I was feeling like typing and needed to work on something different for a second and I think I can speak for all of us that today had me feeling all of the emotions. There's definitely some angst in here but a lot of it is just absolute fluff and reader being an absolute Stan of her boyfriend, bc who wouldn't be if they were dating Lewis Hamilton, lets be real. Also, I've said it once I will say it again, I cannot follow a tense to save my life to ignore that. Kisses xxxx!!!

I am not a professional writer and all of this is a work of fiction and is strictly for fun. Enjoy! xxx

You hadn’t gotten much sleep and you were feeling it as you sat in the back of the Mercedes garage. Lewis had been hyper and full of anxious energy when he returned to the hotel last night. He had spent most of the previous day bobbing around the paddock like an energetic child, complaining about the delay in qualifying and trying to convince anyone that would listen to him that they should be sent out to try and put a lap together. He’s in Brazil, he wants to put on a show, but he’d been forced to wait much to his dismay and that had left you having to deal with him. He had been hyper after being so ready to go but never getting the release from his adrenaline and also annoyed that the sport had changed so much, yapping on about how when he first got to F1 they would have sent them out and that danger and adrenaline is a key part of the sport. You tried incessantly to get him to chill but you really had to just let him wear himself out, much like an actual child. It wasn’t until later in the evening, laying against his chest after finally convincing him to try to get some sleep, that you really got the answer to his emotions.

~

“I’m so excited and honored that I’m driving the MP4 tomorrow, but I’m also nervous. I was so prepared to do it today but having to wait, delaying the gratification, it’s really getting to me.” Lewis whispered into the comfortable silence, surprising you with the unprompted admission.

“It’s even more iconic to do it on race day.” You told him softly, rubbing your hand against his warm chest hoping to lighten the weight of whatever way playing in his mind.

He just hummed in response, evidently deep in his thoughts, his arm tightening around you ever so slightly.

“It’s understandable that you’re nervous Lew, you’re driving a piece of history, not just history to the sport but to your own personal journey and career. You’ve been asked to drive your idols car, the man is the reason you found your calling. Superman or Senna, right?” You kept your voice quiet, realizing that he needed to talk this through a bit more but not wanting to disrupt the peace that had settled around the two of you.

He smiled down at you as he heard the last part of your statement, chuckling lightly,  “Superman or Senna, yes indeed.” He trailed off for a moment, the soft smile lingering on his lips as he stared at the ceiling, almost as if reminiscing over those years when those were his two goals in life, back as a young boy in Stevenage. “What’s kinda funny is that it’s not that I’m really nervous about driving the car itself, like I feel confident in that part, I feel like I’m more than capable. It’s that I’m nervous that I don’t deserve this or something, this is a big deal and I would never want anyone to regret this decision or something. I honestly don’t even really know, like I don’t know why they would regret it I just, I don’t know. Just not really sure I’m worthy of this.” He finished his rant, letting out a deep sigh.

Hearing his thoughts caused you to sit up, no longer caring if you broke the peace in the room. You stared directly at him, eyes locked with his that were evidently startled at your abrupt departure from your cuddle.

“Lewis, I need you to listen to me. They chose you, Senna's family specifically chose you and asked you.” You started, poking him in the chest for emphasis before putting the same finger over his lips to shush him when he tried to argue. “They could have asked any of the other drivers on the grid, they could have asked a retired driver, they could honestly have asked whoever the hell they wanted, but no they asked for you. Not the current reigning champion, not the owner of the car, not even a Mclaren driver. They asked you, not only because they recognize your talent but because they see him in you. They see the love and respect that the people of Brazil have for you and they see you return that tenfold. This beautiful country made you a citizen for a reason, they see you carry that flag with the same pride as your own. Lew even Felipe Massa said that you deserve to be the one to drive that car and isn’t he like literally suing you right now?”

You finally let out a huff before the both of you erupt in a fit of giggles, Lewis forcefully pulling you back down to him to wrap you tightly in his arms. 

“I didn’t know he said that, honestly rather shocking because yeah, pretty sure he is. But ya know, I heard he’s running out of money.” His lips hold a smirk as he looks down at you before you’re both consumed by another fit of giggles. “Thank you,” He whispers once you’ve both calmed down, his lips against your forehead, “I needed to hear that. You know I get too much in my own head sometimes. Still have a hard time believing that all of this is real after everything I’ve been through, where I came from, ya know?”

“I do,” You say, tilting your head up to press a soft kiss to his lips, “you’re allowed to still revel in it, even after all this time. It truly is mental, even if it’s been this way for a while now. And by the way, I’m pretty sure the only reason they would ever regret letting you drive that car is if you crash it into a wall and break it, so just don’t do that and I’m pretty sure everything will be just fine.” You giggle, giving him another kiss.

“Well damn woman, no pressure or anything.” He fakes offence before splitting into a grin with you.

“Hey,” you say, your voice softer again, “I know I’m biassed and all, but know that I can’t think of anyone more deserving of this honor and I am so incredibly proud of you. I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold back the tears when I see you in that Mclaren tomorrow. You are an incredibly blessed man but you do not take it for granted and I am honoured that I get to see how incredible you are every single day, as a driver, as a partner, but most importantly as a human. Let yourself enjoy this Lew, you deserve it and I will be there watching in awe.”

“I love you so so much.” He says, his voice thick with emotion as he pulls you impossibly closer to him.

“I love you too,” You tell him softly, placing a kiss on his chest where he has squished your face into him, “now get some sleep, you have to be up in a few hours for that stupid early morning quali.”

~

Lewis had left early in the morning, sneaking out of bed around 3:30 to get ready. Only waking you accidentally when he placed a soft kiss on your forehead as he was leaving. He was apologetic, telling you to go back to sleep and that he would see you at the track. Not that you were able to get much more sleep, needing to get up and get ready yourself if you wanted any chance of making it there on time. When you had finally arrived to the garage, you made sure to perch yourself in the back, trying to stay out of the way of all the busy people rushing around you.You only got to see Lewis for a brief moment, only having enough time to give him a quick kiss and send him off with a final good luck encouragement. It was pointless though, you both knew the car wasn’t going to perform to Lewis’ liking. If anything it had somehow gotten worse for this weekend. 

As you sat in the garage watching on you couldn’t help but cringe. Lewis was battling with the car, not even making it out of Q1. You knew his mood wouldn’t be amazing when he finally made his way back to you after going to be weighed and speak to the media. You watched the next session, baffled by the sheer chaos unfolding and you couldn’t help but pray that the race would end up being better. The grid was out of position and red flags were being thrown left and right. You let out a sigh when you saw your man finally enter the garage, his helmet still on. He stopped momentarily to speak with some of his engineers, shaking peoples hands and thanking them for their hard work. He finally locked onto you, gesturing for you to follow him as he made his way to his drivers room. When you walked in behind him you could see how heavy his shoulders were. His helmet had been discarded on the bench beside him but he still hadn’t turned around.

“Hey, we knew it was gonna be shit, right?” You said quietly, putting your hand on his damp back.

“Yeah, we did. I’m just so ready for this season to be over.” He finally said, letting out a deep breath as he turned to face you.

“We’re so close babe, so so close. And for now we get to take a little time away from this devil of a car.” You told him, wrapping your arms around his neck as his hands found your waist. Not caring one bit that he was soggy from the rain and the sweat, just content to be with your guy.

“Still got a race to do hun.” He reminded you, kissing his teeth.

“Oh I know, but let’s not think about that right now. I was talking about you getting behind the wheel of a Mclaren MP4 for a little while instead.” You smirk, leaning up towards his now smiling face.

“A proper race car.” He says, his smile threatening to split his face.

This is what you wanted, you wanted him to revel in the joy, revel in the honor of driving such an incredible car. Enjoy being behind the wheel of a Championship winning car once again even if it was only for a few laps and unlike the cars he was used to winning in. 

“A legacy meant for a hometown hero to carry on, and a race car meant for a World Champion. It’s been waiting for another great to stretch its legs and they found just the right Brazilian for the job.” You whispered to him, your faces incredibly close now. 

“If you keep talking like that I might end up locking you in here.” His voice is teasing as he wraps his arms around you.

“As much as I desperately want to say yes to that, I do believe you have something to get ready for.” You sigh, pulling back and patting his chest.

“I do, but we’ll use it for motivation later, I might need it.” He says as he peels himself off of you, his voice is playful but you both know he’s dead serious.

“The second we leave this track, I am all yours for as long as you want or need.” You promise, watching as he starts to change and prepare to go meet the Mclaren mechanics that have been looking after the historical car.

You sit in a comfortable peace for a while, occasionally exchanging words about little things that don’t really matter that much, just enjoying being in his space. You know that when the day is over you will have a full debrief, all of the frustration that he’s setting aside for this moment will inevitably bubble up once he’s in the safe privacy of the two of you alone, but for now you entertain his small talk and let him start to get excited about his incredible moment as he gets himself ready. When he’s ready he turns to  you with childlike excitement bubbling at the surface and you can feel your heart swell.

“This is a good look for you.” You tell him, eyeing the all white suit with the Brazilian flag at his waist.

“I’m still mad I can’t wear his actual helmet.” Lewis grumbles with a shake of his head.

“I hate to say, I actually agree with them on that one babe, let’s keep your head safe, yeah?” You laugh.

“I know I know, don’t think it would even fit on my head anyway.” He playfully groans, making his way over to you.

“I like the special helmet for this weekend though, it’s still a tribute.” You remind him, knowing he’s half joking but wanting him to be fully confident when he steps out.

He nods, taking a moment to admire you before he’s pulling you close and landing his lips on yours in a kiss that takes you by surprise with its force.

“Thank you, for everything,” He starts when he finally pulls away, his forehead resting on yours, “for reminding me that I’m allowed to revel in this, for keeping me grounded,for letting me be excited, just for everything.”

“Hey, that’s why I’m here. You do the exact same for me when I need it, it’s why we work so well.” You say quietly, your hand coming to stroke his beard gently.

“If I don’t get to see you before I get in the car, just know your words from last night are gonna be in my head the entire time. I’m gonna let myself enjoy this, let myself feel this. Nothing else about today matters other than honouring and paying tribute to my childhood hero and getting to live out my childhood dreams of driving the car that made me want to start racing around the circuit that introduced me to another home.” His voice holds excitement and certainty as he speaks that makes you want to cry and kiss him all at once.

You’ve never been quite so proud of the man in front of you. Yes, you’ve cheered for him since the beginning, before you even met him. You’ve wept when he’s broken records and won each and every championship. Yet nothing quite compares to seeing this amazing moment and knowing just how much he deserves it, knowing that there is no one better to hold this responsibility and honor. There is no one like Aryton Senna and truly there never will be, and there is no one like Lewis Hamilton and there truly never will be. 

“You know you’re doing for millions what he did for you, right?” You whisper, hoping he knows just the level of inspiration he gives to everyone watching him, young and old alike.

“I know, and it’s amazing to be able to do that.” He says, his smile warm.

You don’t say another word, giving him a long kiss, feeling connected to him in a way you both need in the moment, albeit for much different reasons. You are pouring every ounce of pride and amazement into the kiss, hoping he can feel it, while he is absorbing the love and reassurance that comes with your touch, letting himself feel his greatness and humble himself all at once. Finally there is a knock at the door, signalling that he really needs to get going, causing you to part from each other reluctantly. 

“Okay, I gotta go do the most amazing thing of my entire career.” He says with a smile, “Be here when I get back?”

“I can’t promise I won’t be sobbing out near the pit wall but I will definitely find you, promise.” You laugh, giving him one last kiss before he grabs his helmet and makes his way over to the media garage where the incredible car is being stored for him.

It takes you a little while to get out to the pit lane that is already lined with people. You wish you could be closer, see the car up close but this isn’t your moment. Today is for Senna's family and the people of Brazil, you are just lucky enough to be able to witness the incredible moment in person.You know Lewis is somewhere down the pitlane, most likely trying to stay calm as he geeks out over the amazing machine he is about to drive. He has driven one of Senna’s cars before, but not in a long time, and not in this setting, not with this honor and audience. You also know that no matter how many times he may have had the privilege of being around and driving incredible race cars, he is a racing driver through and through and the excitement will never change. While you’re standing there smiling to yourself, thinking about how excited Lewis must be and taking in the incredible aura of the crowd, you catch sight of the live stream playing on the jumbotron. There he is, getting in his idols car, you watch as he takes a moment to really take it in just before he’s being strapped in. It’s funny to you to see him surrounded by Mclaren mechanics again, to see the goodyear tires you remember from your first ever F1 races. Then they’re rolling him out and the crowd gets their first in person glimpse of the car over the wall and the cheers echo through your soul. It takes a few more minutes for them to be ready and the atmosphere is building with anticipation but then they start the engine. The first rumble sends a chill down your spine and silences the track. The sound of the V10 roaring to life evoked a visceral feeling from you, bringing back memories of why you fell in love with the sport as a child in the first place and you could only imagine what the emotions coursing through Lewis in that moment were. You saw him shake his head in disbelief as he revved the engine and you could just picture the boyish grin that would be covering his face at that moment. Then it cut, he stalled, and you heard the boos and wanted to run and protect him. You knew it wasn’t his fault, and realistically you knew the crowd wasn’t booing him, they were booing the disruption of the soundtrack that was the incredible V10 engine and you also knew Lewis was smart enough to know that as well. The mechanics were quick, getting the engine back up rapidly and soon enough Lewis was headed out toward the track. He took a moment, the mechanics meeting him again and you prayed that everything would go to plan, this moment was too important to everyone for anything not to be perfect. And then you saw him, speeding past you in Senna’s Mclaren down the pit straight. The spray of water adding to the moment as he waved at the fans who were evidently stunned at the spectacle in front of them. Their recently adopted hero bringing them back to a moment with their lifelong hero. You couldn’t hold back your tears as you watched him complete lap after flawless lap, handling the car like he’d been driving it for years. You could only imagine what the emotions flowing through his body must be, so incredibly grateful to be able to witness the moment. When you saw him stop to grab the flag your tears picked up, watching the beauty of the moment as he completed his dream of waving his new country's flag as he drove his idol's car with no hands around the wet track. Everything about the moment was pure poetry. 

By the time he parked the car on the grid, you were sure there wasn’t a dry eye in the entirety of Sao Paulo. You watched through teary eyes as Viviane went and spoke to him as he collected himself in the cockpit. You could see her thanking him and you knew that he was thanking her just as profusely. You tried to dry your eyes as you watched them pose with Senna's helmet while Lewis sat in the car, but they came back quickly. You finally managed to pull yourself together just a little bit as you watched him pose with flag but the second he knelt down next to the car as if to thank it for everything it had done for him and his idol, you lost it again, You couldn’t help but laugh at yourself just a bit, your emotions were definitely getting the best of you. You could see the emotion on Lewis’ face as he too pulled himself together to get ready for the interview. He was beaming, eternally grateful for the opportunity. You listened as he described his love for Brazil and the love he has received from the fans, you could hear the emotion thick in his voice the entire time, even through the incredible joy that was paired with it. You knew he meant it when he said it was the ‘honor of his career’ and you were certain this would be a moment that neither of you ever forgot. Everything about it was purely beautiful, seeing everyone pause for something so meaningful, you weren’t sure you had ever seen the sport so at one in your entire life.

When you saw him finally making his way to the pit lane you scramble to try to pull yourself together, hoping to be somewhat emotionally sound when you went to meet him in his drivers room, but he found you first, a strong arm slinking around your waist before you were being crushed in a tight hug. When he finally let you go you took a moment to take him in. The emotions were written all over his face, the weight of the profound moment sinking in for him as the joy was palpable. He took in your state, his eyes softening, knowing that every emotion on your face came from your love for him and your love for the sport.

“C’mon, lets go be alone for a second.” He said softly, guiding you toward the garage.

When you were safely inside his drivers room you turned to him, your words dying on your tongue as they didn’t feel enough to express just how proud of him you were. Instead you opted to grasp his face in your hands and kiss him, hard, tears falling down your cheeks as you did. When you finally parted from him you saw that the smile had never left his face.

“I think you’re more emotional about that entire thing than I am.” He teased you softly, wiping a stray tear from your cheek.

“Stop it,” You laughed, swatting at him pathetically, “I’m just so proud of you and so happy for you. I can only imagine what that meant to you.”

“Yeah, it was surreal, never had so many emotions at once. It felt incredible, it truly felt like a dream come true.” He said as he placed his hands on your waist, pulling you toward him.

“I was right you know, there was no one more suited for that than you.” You tell him softly.

“You were absolutely right, that felt perfect, Viviane was so kind and so grateful, I will never forget this.” He sighs and you can tell the weight of the weekend is leaving his body with it.

“Nothing else that happens this weekend matters, okay? This was what it was all for.” You assure him, placing your hand on the side of his neck.

“Thank you, you’re right, that was truly the only reason I am here this weekend, none of the rest matters in the slightest.” His eyes are soft as he melts into your touch.

“I know you said you wanted to be Senna or Superman but I think you may have achieved both just now. You are more than a hero to just about everyone here, me included.” You tell him softly, staring deep into his eyes as you do.

“That means a lot, I felt it while I was out there. It was a crazy feeling, getting to be that for everyone.” He says earnestly.

“You do it way more frequently than you think, even if you haven’t been feeling it lately.” You assure him, wanting him to know just how much you mean it.

He doesn’t respond but you can tell he’s just taking it in as he lets out a breath and traces circles on your hip. He’s a confident man, cocky at times, but even the strongest of soldiers can be weak in the face of defeat.

“I know you are a natural born competitor, but let's make a deal that your only objective today is just to come back to me in one piece. That’s all I ask of you.” You say after a moment, listening to the rain pickup against the roof.

“I will absolutely come back to you, but I ain’t making any promise about not also trying to pull that tractor as far forward as I can.” He laughs, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Okay fair enough, just need you in tiptop shape to be my superman when we get back to the hotel tonight.” You smirk, pinching his bicep.

“Well when you put it like that why don’t we just leave on a high note and head back right now?” He asks playfully, pulling you closer to him.

“I’m down, but you’ve gotta go keep being both Senna and Superman.” You giggle.

“Okay, I’ll do my best, but I’m still holding you to that even if this race is shit.” He says, pinching your bum.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

[kechiwrites]

mirror image

toxic baby daddy!ghost x reader

part 7/8

synopsis: two weeks into your uneasy truce, simon gets introspective.

wc: 811

cw: afab!reader, angst, banter that becomes arguing, hurt and the tiniest bit of comfort, language, trust issues, simon's pov, no gendered language. no use of y/n ever.

author’s note: well, we back at it, the second last installment of this verse. i'll still take requests/thots for it of course, but soon we'll get closure for these two. for now, simon's thoughts on their situation.

new to baby blue? start here.

It’s disarming. 

And Simon Riley doesn’t like being disarmed. He doesn’t like being caught off guard, off kilter, unstable. 

It’s been happening more and more often though.

When you and Tommy look at him in perfect unison, he is struck stupid by your eyes, like you copy and pasted them onto your son. His son. His kid. His perfect, funny kid. Unmuddied by everything bad in the world. His life is pancakes and dinosaurs and that horrible fucking tv show that he’s sure rots his little mind. His life is you. Your smiles, your laugh, your cooking, your hugs. Things Simon cheated himself of when he walked out on you, choked with fear and bleeding misery.

Simon is disarmed, totally fucking helpless, a veritable babe in the woods when you let him hold you. When for the first time, in a long ass time, he gets to watch your lids flutter closed and slip into unconsciousness, in that quick, carefree way he’s always envied. 

He barely sleeps, even less so lately. 

After all, no sleeping meant no nightmares. No cloying, choking smoke-like fears reaching for the frayed edges of his subconscious. No sleeping meant he couldn’t play on your kindness, your goodness, and guilt you into holding him back when he woke up screaming, sweating, no matter how bad he wanted it.

It’s two weeks later. Two weeks after sleeping together but not sleeping together. After breakfast and an uneasy truce. Two weeks after kissing you and touching you and holding you like you both had all the time in the world. 

You’re not in a good mood. And he knows that. But he pushes you anyway, pokes and prods you even as you slam through your kitchen, noisily pulling out a pot and a huge bag of pasta shells.

“Let’s talk.” He approaches, arms crossed, full kit traded in for a skull emblazoned cloth mask, jeans and a threadbare black t-shirt, one he’d found in your bedroom days ago, stashed in the back your drawer, crumpled in a wrinkled ball, like you didn’t want to see it, but you didn’t want to trash it either. He’s been doing that lately, staying over for days and rifling through your shit, finding old relics and artifacts from a time neither of you can let go of. An old mask, a hat, t-shirts.

So many goddamn t-shirts.

“Talk?” you snort derisively, filling the pot with water. He watches you test the water with your fingertips and curse under your breath, mumbling something about shit pipes. When the pot is full, you turn to face him, lips curled, sneering. “I wasn’t aware you were capable of that. Thought you just communicated in grunts.”

“You’re funny. That's new.” He jabs, advancing in the conversation much faster than he should have, comforted in familiar territory, finding solace in what used to be commonplace for you, banter, barbs, teasing. The tense set of your shoulders should’ve warned him off it, should’ve told him you’d take it as well as a bullet in the back. But God help him, he’ll take whatever you give.

“Mm.” Your tone is casual but your answering nod is jerky, too fast, “Yeah, I developed a sense of humour when I realized our relationship had been a joke.” You slam the pot onto a burner, giving him your back. 

The air is suddenly devoid of mirth, utterly obliterated where it had been floating between you before. Now the living room and kitchen are a smoking crater, an oil rig on fire, a disaster site. 

He’s never been more grateful for his son’s propensity to nap like he’s dead.

Neither of you say anything. Simon is waiting for you to say something, to dress him down, but when you lower your head and sigh, heavy and deep with pain and exhaustion he planted within you, Simon withers. He slinks back to the living room and drops himself onto your couch. 

You wait, he’s not sure what for. He used to be so good at preempting your actions, your thoughts, your words, now he handles you like you’re a venomous reptile, looking for exposed, vulnerable flesh to strike, to bite.

You set down the glass you’d been drinking from hard. And he’s surprised you didn’t crack it.

“What do you want, Simon?” Question of the goddamn century, it is. And you’ve asked it of him plenty of times. But he never has an answer, can never really deduce just what the fuck he’s doing here, with you. With Tommy. Playing a game? Playing a role? Punishing you? Himself? All of it could be true, but none of it seems right. 

“I want to try.”

All he knows is that before this, four years seemed like a short time, nothing really. But now?

It’s an eternity. Reflected back to him in broken glass, in half full drawers, in his son’s eyes. 

In yours.

comments + tags + reblogs are so appreciated

oh simon...what do you want?

series masterlist here

[shadowbriar]

Sirius Black - The Lion and The Lamb

Pairing : Sirius Black x (she/her) Reader Word Count : 5.1k Warning : One curse word. I'm so bad at this I don't think there's any other? Synopsis : Sirius' plot of pairing her with Remus has finally come to a success yet he finds it hard to find the joy in their relationship. Notes : Post no 3 for my 1 Year Anniversary Celebration. This story is a little bit all over the place, I'm sorry for that. Don't forget to fill the form here if you'd like to be tagged for my future works. If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕ Sirius Black's Masterlist click here. Taglist : @jsjcue @ell0ra-br3kk3r @sofiacblair @when-you-cant-think-of-anything

It is only logical that someone like her, a bright witch with the wittiest mind and cleverest brain, would ever fall for someone who’s equally as brilliant. Someone who excels in his classes, despite the fact that he has a troublesome condition that restrains him from having a full attendance in his classes, is still being appointed as prefect due to his capability and proficient skill set. It’s simple logic, isn’t it? Smart people are attracted to smart people, the same way funny people are attracted to other funny people.

At least, that is the rule Sirius Black is believing in.

For years he has tried to play the matchmaker for Remus and her. ‘Accidentally’ pairing them up for school projects, ‘accidentally’ forgetting their group study session so the two of them would be left alone, and ‘accidentally’ always making her sit next to Remus in every chance presented. Sirius was determined to get them together. He would always argue that they just haven’t noticed the chemistry they have, how everyone in the room could tell that these two are in love with each other. Though James would always deny and say that no one except Sirius would see this so-called chemistry, Sirius has already made it his life mission to make them a couple.

“Truly, I love Padfoot but his antics on pairing us up is starting to get under my skin.” Remus grumbles as he walks with her through Hogsmeade. They were supposed to meet up at the Three Broomstick, her and the rest of the Marauders, but after an hour of waiting, the two knew that this is just another stunt Sirius’ pulled for them “Once we get back to the castle I will make him transform into his animagus form and turn him into a fur hat, I swear it.”

She chuckles, “I’d love to witness that.”

The two continue their walk until Remus halts all of a sudden, stopping his pace with an expression she couldn’t decipher. It was as if he was thinking deeply about something that is struggling to burst forth from his lips. His brows furrow and it’s taking a huge amount of self control in herself to not straighten them with her thumb.

“I have an idea that might make you murder me,” He says to her “But this is worth the shot, at least for me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Are you not tired of this? Of Padfoot always setting us up like this?” Remus questions, his arms now fold in front of his chest “Because I am. We can hardly hangout with the others anymore and don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with you, Love, it’s just that—”

“Sirius,” She cuts, nodding in understanding with a small laughter “I get it. What do you propose?”

Remus shrugs, “Well, since the boy’s so determined to get us together, why don’t we just.. Get together?”

“Get together?” She repeats with a raised brow “As in.. Date each other?”

“Yeah, precisely that.”

She stares at him with appalled eyes. Remus seems adamant with his proposal, his tone is firm and his body language shows 100% certainty, yet her mind still couldn’t process his words properly. The idea of them dating would be as logical as flying pigs. They are the true definition of platonic love. Dating Remus would feel like painting the Black Lake pink with a makeup brush, painful and useless.

Noticing her bewildered expression, Remus proceeds to explain his bid, “Alright, maybe I worded it wrong. I meant to say that maybe we should try to give the impression that we’re dating. I love you Dove, there’s no denying that, but we’re nowhere close to what Padfoot is insinuating and I just can’t live the rest of my school years being his experimental toad.”

“Ah,” She finally nods in understanding. Her facial expressions soften from the explanation, letting out a chuckle now as Remus’ words start to make sense “You still have to define try in this scenario, Rem. What are the rules and what not?”

Remus shrugs once more, “Just act like we’re dating in front of the boys, I guess.”

“Okay, and what does ‘act like we’re dating’ mean?” She questions further, her right hand now resting on her right cheek as she gives the offer a thought “Dating could have a very broad meaning, these days.”

“Hold hands, walk you to your classes, carry your books, you know those little things.”

“And how about the PDAs?”

“Like kissing?” Remus asks. He winces slightly at the thought, not out of disgust but more on the unlikelihood of either of them enjoying such action “We can opt that out. Just tell people we’re not a big fan of public attention for such gestures, they’ll buy it.”

She pursed her lips, brows furrowed now as she truly pondered her options. Sure the fact that Sirius is restless about his mission is irritating her, but is pretend dating really the answer? It feels cruel, knowing that Sirius came from a good heart, but Remus is right. Just how many more years should they suffer through this foolish mischief? If anything it will only grow discomfort between her and Remus and she surely wouldn’t want to lose her friendship with him.

“Should we put a time frame for it then?” She says, trying to help perfect the proposal “Say.. 3 months? Would that be too long? We could just tell people that we didn’t really work out by then.”

“I was going to say until the semester ends, but 3 months seems enough.” Remus nods, holding out his hand “So is that a deal?”

She smiles, taking his hand and shaking it firmly, “Deal.”

—-

The next morning when the pack walks down to the Great Hall, Sirius’ eyes are caught at the sight of his two friends sitting comfortably close to each other, already enjoying their meal and sharing what seems to be the most interesting discussion. James shot him a look, utterly puzzled at the intimacy they were showing. Peter was the only one who could still function and walk to the couple, sitting right in front of them.

“Morning, you two,” Peter greets, his eyes narrowed in an interrogating way “You left pretty early this morning, Moons. Didn’t even hear you go out the door.”

“Yeah, I had to pick her up from her dorm.” Remus shrugs, his tone casual as he rests a hand around her shoulders “You guys are here on time.”

“What is happening?” Sirius asks this time, a disbelief smile decorating his baffled face. He was still standing by the table, the only one who’s not yet seated. His eyes travelled to Remus’ secured hold around her “You two are more comfortable than I last remember.”

“Yeah, well, we decided to give it a go.” She explained with a smile, looking at Remus.

Sirius let out a chuckle, one that doesn’t sound the most sincere as he proceeds to question, his tone was laced with uncertainty, “Give what a go?”

“Dating.” She answers as she turns to him briefly before giving Remus a little peck on the cheeks “We’re dating now.”

Remus, who wasn’t expecting the kiss, turns crimson. It wasn’t the first kiss he’s received on the cheek from her, but getting it under the impression of their romantic affair still caught him off guard. He gave her a look, one that she understood was him being impressed at her act, before pulling her head closer to his shoulder. 

Remus’ eyes now travel to Sirius’ who is stupefied, still on his feet after witnessing such action. He doesn’t seem to be joyful, not even the slightest bit happy at the fact that his life mission is now finally achieved. Like someone hit the invisible reset button in the back of his head. Completely at loss of words and understanding of the scene unravelling before his eyes.

“You alright, Pads?” Remus asks with a raised brow.

James had to pull on Sirius’ robe in order to bring the black haired boy back to life. Sirius blinks, evidently trying to digest the new information with a scrunched brow. He finally takes a seat, resting his hand under his chin in an interrogative gesture, “What— When, uh, when did this happen?”

“Yesterday, after our Hogsmeade date.” She answers casually, squeezing herself closer to her ‘boyfriend’ as she continues “We figured.. You’re right. We do have chemistry between us, so we thought— Why not? Right, my Love?”

Remus smirks, seemingly amused at the pet name given, “Right, Darling.”

“Aw, not the pet names.” James fakes a gag “You two are going to beat me and Lils as couple of the year.”

Breakfast continued with so much laughter and bliss that her cheeks were starting to hurt. It feels wonderful to finally share tender and warm moments without having to worry that Remus might feel uncomfortable or that she would have to excuse herself to join her group of friends to run from a plot Sirius would pull on them. After what seems to be forever, the two of them can finally appreciate the platonic love shared in the group.

Yet through the delightful morning they’re spending, she couldn’t help but to notice the half-hearted laughter Sirius would let out or how he would play with his food more than to chime in on James' jokes. He wouldn’t meet eyes with her, as if he has a secret he wants to keep. Something she couldn’t tell what it was nor what it’s about.

—-

Fake dating Remus has been brilliant to say the least. Neither of them now have to feel awkward from each other, nurturing their friendship that was once put to halt when Sirius started his ruse. James and Peter have been more free to ask either of them to hang out too, knowing that Sirius wouldn’t pop out of nowhere and jeopardise the plan to have her paired up with Remus instead. Yet through all these splendid events, she couldn’t help but to notice Sirius’ withdrawal.

He has been more quiet whenever the five of them would hang out, being too busy with his assignments she knows full well he pays no mind about or excusing himself to get some rest. She couldn’t even see him alone, always having something in his schedule that would make him leave her in the hallways.

It would be a lie to say that she doesn’t miss his presence.

“Have you been giving the group more quidditch practice, Potter?” She asks as she plops herself to the sofa, scanning around the Common Room to look for the familiar black haired boy.

James makes a face, “No? We haven’t even done any practice for weeks due to the bad weather.”

A frown blooms on her face. Quidditch practice is Sirius’ most used justification to his pardon and to know that there hasn’t even been one for a while surely baffles her. What could be the reason for Sirius’ absence then?

“Where’s Sirius?” She voiced out “I haven’t seen him for a while now, it’s like he’s avoiding me.”

“Probably feeling undermotivated now that you two are dating. His whole life was devoted to seeing you two as a couple, now that it’s happened, I suppose Padfoot requires some time to recalculate his next life mission.” Peter comments nonchalantly “Perhaps he could finally find one that is actually useful for his future.”

She forces a smile.

A big question mark is still ingrained in her mind. She seems to be the only one to notice Sirius’ withdrawal and is actually bothered by it. Perhaps it was because the boys still see him in their dorm room and spend more classes with him that they could hardly notice the difference. Either way, she knows that she won’t get her answer by asking them about Sirius. She has to ask him herself. However that might be.

—-

Sirius’ palms have been more sweaty nowadays every time she was around. He was sure that one of these days his closest mates will call him out for the strange act he’s been pulling and how he’s committing the grandest sin to have feelings for his best friend’s girlfriend.

In his defence, Sirius never intended to fall for her. He’s always admired her, sure, only a fool would question that, but never has Sirius ever thought that such admiration stemmed from romantic feelings. He always thought and believed that her best pair is Remus, someone who is stable and responsible, unlike him who is impulsive and directionless in life. Someone who would follow wherever the wind would sail his ship to.

No, Sirius will never accept anyone who is less prudent than Remus to be her lover.

But that day in Potion class haunts him like a persisting ghost. How the cauldron of Amortentia smelled like her. A mix of her perfume, her favourite dish that she would always dig in whenever Christmas comes, and that scent of flower they did their Herbology paper on back in third year. There would be no chance that Sirius misinterpreted the scents. What he smelled from the love potion was her, only her.

Now he’s standing feet away from her, trying to cast the patronus charm along with the other students. He could see Remus succeeding in no time, producing a wolf shaped patronus. He could see the mixed emotions Remus had on his face. Proud of his success in conjuring the spell and bitterness over the form of patronus he owned.

He turned his gaze to Lily, a beautiful doe was running around her. James on the other side of the class was screaming in delight when he finally conjured his patronus, a magnificent stag standing by his side. Sirius knew that James would use this to pester on Lily more. People do say that some soulmates may have a connected form of patronus.

Sirius’ lips turned into a smile as he watched her successfully produce her patronus now. A beautiful rottweiler was running around her. What a perfect patronus, Sirius thought. A courageous and loyal animal, the perfect one for her.

Now Sirius tries to cast the spell himself. A couple tries and he finally managed to produce a full patronus, a german shepherd. He lets out a satisfied laughter, watching as his patronus runs around the class, stopping only when it met her patronus.

But Sirius’ patronus soon disappears as his focus dissolves, locking eyes with Remus who watches over the event with a confused look and an intrigued smirk plastered on his face. Sirius swallowed his own saliva in nervousness. Does this mean Remus knows about his growing affection towards his girlfriend?

—-

“I’m calling it, me and Lily are soulmates.” James says happily as he jumps on his bed, resting his arms behind his head as a pillow “Who would’ve thought, right? A stag and a doe. Merlin, we must’ve been made for each other for real.”

“Not really in the mood to talk about patronuses, guys.” Peter snorts, sulking at his still failure in conjuring one.

“Don’t worry, Wormy, your time will come.” Sirius says, patting the boy’s shoulder before heading to his trunk to put his books in “Took me a couple tries to get it too.”

“Right, your german shepherd patronus,” Remus notes, a suspicious smile tugged on his lips “Did you notice that yours were the only one other than her’s in the form of a dog?”

Sirius feigned a confused look, furrowing his brows, “Who? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, right! Her rottweiler!” James chimed “It was adorable when your patronus came to her’s, Pads. Too bad yours didn’t last too long. You surely need more practice with your spell.”

Sirius only let out a small chuckle, not saying another word as he silently prays that they would drop this topic. It’s uncomfortable enough for him to know that his patronus were fond of hers, adding to the stress of his realisation of her scent from the amortentia. Now to have Remus staring at him with an expression he’s dying to confront yet certainly not ready to face the consequences of, Sirius wonders if pairing her with Remus all these years was a mistake.

—-

“I think we need to call off this ruse.”

“Already?” She asks, putting down her book to meet Remus’ eyes “We’re not even half way through 3 months.”

“Yeah, I don’t think we need to get that long. Even if we break up now, I’m sure Sirius wouldn’t pair us up like he did before.”

She raised an eyebrow, confused, “Why would you think that?”

“Because that git finally realises that he likes you.” Remus says with a confident smirk.

Her eyes nearly popped out of its eye sockets. What Remus said just now is as surprising as hearing that Dumbledore and McGonnagal are holding their wedding this Yule break. Never in a million years would she ever expect such a reason to be uttered by him.

She let out a mocking laughter, dismissing his words, “You’re mental.”

“I’m not,” Remus denies, leaning closer to her to prove his words “That day in Charms class. His patronus came to you. You both had guard dogs as patronus. Why do you think that’s because?”

“Mere coincidence?” She questions, still finding his words to be baffling “We both have dogs as our patronus, so? They’re not even the same breed. You’re making a connection out of nothing.”

“Am I really?” He challenges “I mean, think about it! Don’t you think Sirius has been acting strange ever since we’re dating? And that day in Potion class, I bet you a hundred galleons, he smelled your scent from the amortentia.”

“He does not,” She says firmly, shaking her head in denial “And you don’t even have a hundred galleons, Remus.”

Remus rolled his eyes, “My point still stands. Sirius likes you, I’m certain of it.”

She frowns, still finding it hard to digest Remus’ words. It feels like some sick joke he’s trying to have her convinced. There would be no chance in hell that Sirius would like her. Why would he? All these years spent of him trying to get her with Remus, why would he now have feelings for her?

“No.” She says short.

“Why are you so defensive about this?” Remus groans “I’m telling you. We call things off now and I bet Sirius will waste no time and court you.”

“He spent his whole life in Hogwarts trying to pair us up, Remus. Now you say that he has feelings for me? Doesn’t that sound a little bit mad?”

He shrugs, “Maybe he didn’t realise his feelings for you until we did this fake dating.”

“That still sounds absurd.”

“Fine, don’t believe me,” Remus says, holding his hands up in surrender “But I still think we should stop our ruse now. If he really does have feelings for you, I don’t want him to feel like he’s betraying me or anything. I refuse to be the cockblocker between you two.”

She put up her book, closing their conversation with a nod. If Remus thinks that it would be best for them to stop their fake dating now then she would have no issue against it. It wasn’t like she was having the grandest time of her life fake dating him, but there would be no chance that she’s falling for his words, that Sirius secretly holds feelings for her because there’s simply no chance for that to ever happen in this life. No chance.

—-

“You broke up with her?!” Sirius asked, tone rising in disbelief and unexplained anger “Why?!”

“Because,” Remus answers with a shrug “I just don’t think that it was working.”

“So you dumped her?”

“No, it was a mutual agreement.”

Sirius still has his displeased expression on, glaring at Remus. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling this way. A mix of relief and rage at the same time. He was glad that they finally ended their relationship, for whatever reason Sirius isn’t sure he wanted to dig deeper on, but on the other side he can’t help but to worry if she was hurt by Remus’ decision. Even if it was a mutual agreement, who’s to say that she isn’t crying and bawling her eyes out from heartbreak right now?

“I still can’t believe you broke up with her.” Sirius mutters “You two have only been, what, a month together?”

Remus shrugs once more, letting out a tired sigh, “There’s no bad blood between us. She’s fine, I didn’t break her heart if that’s what you’re so riled up on.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Remus raised an eyebrow, giving him the ‘are you serious’ look.

“What?” Sirius asks, appalled “What’s with that look?”

“Oh, come on, Pads, stop acting oblivious.” Remus says, rolling his eyes “You might fool Prongs and Wormtail but you’ll never fool me, not about this.”

Sirius frowns, folding his arms in front of his chest in defence, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Remus glares.

Sirius squared his shoulders, showing his firm stand.

Remus sighs, patting his best friend's shoulder in an attempt to console him, “For what it’s worth, Pads, I’m not angry. If anything, I’m glad that you finally come to your senses and realise the true reason for your dedication in finding her a proper partner. You care for her, in a whole different world than how me or Prongs or Wormtail do. I just hope that you won’t be stupid enough to pull another lark on her.”

Sirius remains quiet, his defensive expression softens a little. It was one thing to realise his feelings for her, one thing to see all the signs scattered around them that he was so blind to see before, but it’s an entirely different thing to have it confronted by Remus. By the one person who he should feel most embarrassed to admit the feelings for. What kind of a friend is he? Has he no shame?

“I’m sorry, Moony.” Sirius begins “I never meant for it to go this way.”

“What are you saying sorry for? I just told you I’m glad about your budding affection for her.” Remus replies with a chuckle “You can throw away the shame or any foul feelings you have for liking her. I’m not angry or disappointed or anything you might think I feel. Matter of fact, if I could give you any advice, I’ll tell you to go and see her now and waste no more time. You’ve been dense for quite too long, it’s time you actually do something about it.”

“Are you sure? You’re not the slightest bit angry at me?”

“Pads, if you ask me one more time, I swear to Merlin I’ll hex you.”

Sirius smiles, genuinely at last. He feels like the heavy burden that has been sitting atop of his chest has been lifted. Like he could finally breathe and think clearly after being so suffocated by all the overthinking he’s done at night. He could feel the energy that used to flow through his veins slowly returning, making his confidence and bold self to be resurrected back to life.

“Moons,” Sirius called, grinning “You don’t happen to know where she is, do you?”

—-

The library was pretty much empty now. Students have either gone back to their dormitory or down at the Great Hall to have their dinners. She too would find herself digging into roasted chicken and mashed potato right now had today been another ordinary day, but no. Today has been everything but ordinary.

Remus’ words echo in her head like a broken record. She knew that Sirius had been acting strange. She’s confident that she was the first to notice this. Even his reaction to their dating news was so out of character. The anticipated grin and jump of joy was never presented, only vacant eyes and forced laughter served by Sirius ever since.

Now she tries to bury the thousand of questions running in her mind by reading some books she knew would do her no good. She’s lost count of how many times she’s reread this one sentence. None of the words seem to enter her brain, lost into thin air as her eyes skimmed through the words.

“Hey.”

Her head was turned in the blink of an eye, neck almost cracked from the sudden force. She stares at the boy standing by her side with a surprised look, smiling faintly, “Sirius, hello.”

“Can I join you?”

“Uh, sure,” She says, heart pounding now “Take a seat.”

Sirius silently does, smiling at her with quite the nervousness. Whatever it is he wanted to say tonight, she knew that it messes with his heartbeat as much as it does to hers.

“Are you busy?” He asks, fidgeting with his fingers “I’d like to steal a little bit of your time if you aren’t.”

“No, I’m not busy.” She says, closing her book. She tidies her hair nervously, trying to compose herself in front of him. Something she’s never felt before, conscious of his appearance in front of Sirius. Lord, just what is happening in her heart, truly?

“I, uh.. I have something to talk to you about.” Sirius begins, his volume getting smaller and smaller that he’s practically whispering now “I heard that you and Remus didn’t work out.”

“Oh, yeah, we didn’t.”

“Are you okay?”

“Grand,” She bobs her head up and down, a little bit too cheerful for someone who’s facing a break up “Me and Remus are still friends, there’s no hard feelings between us. We just didn’t work out.”

“I see.”

She nods again, smiling awkwardly, “Is that what you wanted to talk about?”

“Yeah.. I mean, no, not really.” Sirius says, tongue tied over whatever lines he wanted to spill “I just— Well, I— Shit, this is so hard to say but I— Well, the past few days I’ve been thinking and I.. Well.. I suppose I owe you an apology.”

“An apology?” She asks, raising an eyebrow “What for?”

“For trying to pair you and Remus together.” He continues “I.. I realised that I might not have the proper reason for wanting to find you the right partner. I mean, I thought I did but some things that have happened recently have altered my perspective.”

She opens her mouth before closing it again, confused at whatever direction he was going for, “Sirius, I don’t believe that I understand a word you said just now.”

“I know. I’m not making any sense right now.” He says with a chuckle. The laughter was enough to melt the tension between them but once it died down, the heaviness on his shoulders returned that Sirius couldn’t help but to let out a sigh “What I’m trying to say is.. I think.. Well, I used to think that certain people belong to certain people.”

Her brows knit, listening carefully to his words.

“I thought that smart people belong with smart people. I thought that someone as smart as you should be with someone just as smart. I mean, it’s logical isn’t it? The lions belong with the lioness and the lamb belongs with the other lamb.” He continues, rambling “But then you started dating Remus, and that Potion class happened, and Charm class happened, and I began to think.. Could the lion be with the lamb?”

“I— Am I the lion or the lamb?” She asks, furrowing her brows “I’d be offended if you say I’m the lamb.”

Sirius grins, “You’re the lion, of course.”

“Then who’s the lamb? You or Remus?”

“Me,” Sirius answers, biting his inner cheek in nervousness “I’m the lamb.”

Her expression softens, slowly understanding his words.

“I know it was wrong of me to feel this way. You’re dating Remus, for Godric’s sake! I’ve been trying to pair you two for years and now that you two are dating, I can’t even fake happiness for it.” Sirius confesses, smiling pitifully to himself “What a friend, right?”

She takes his hand gently, softly squeezing it in assurance, “We can’t help who we fall in love with, Sirius. I’m sure Remus understands.”

“He does,” Sirius answers “Do you?”

She was quiet now. It all happens too quickly for her. Just a few hours ago she was fake dating Remus, then he told her that Sirius likes her, and now Sirius himself is professing his feelings. Sure there have been moments in her life where she admires Sirius more than she admires Remus or James or Peter, but it was never as strong as how Sirius is portraying right now. Never as clear as the devotion Sirius is offering her right now.

“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” Sirius says, noticing her mute as rejection “Just say the words and we can put this behind us. Pretend that this never happens.”

“Sirius,” She calls, holding his hand firmer now “I appreciate your honesty and truthfully, I— I don’t have a word to say to you right now.”

Sirius nods, understanding.

“I just.. I need time to digest everything.” She continues “And you’re not making me uncomfortable. If you’d like to dive further into whatever this is we’re feeling right now, I’m willing to give it a go, but I can’t promise you anything right now.”

“Give.. Give it a go?” Sirius asks, hopeful eyes now staring at her “You’re willing to give this a go?”

“I mean, sure. I’ve always wondered what chemistry you always talk about whenever me and Remus were in the same room because to put it frankly, I always thought that it was us who had the chemistry, not me and Remus.” She reasoned, smiling a little at the thought “But like I said, I can’t promise you anything. I can’t promise you that I would be able to return the affection as much as the one you have for me. I’ll try, but I don’t want to give you false promises.”

“That is more than enough.” Sirius says fast, grinning satisfiedly now “Thank you.”

She nods, returning his smile.

Relief was what best describes the two of them now. Sirius kisses the back of her hand gently, showing his grandest gratitude for her understanding and kindness. The same happiness was mirrored on her face, flustered at his gentle gesture. It’s only a matter of time now until the two hand each other their hearts. After all, german shepherds and rottweilers always make cute puppies, don’t they?

[malegains]

Hey malegains! Let me say first off your images are incredible! I don't know how you get the results you do but they're just amazing! I'm also loving the text/stories you assign your pictures, really adds another level to them. I think it's great you've shared your methods and detailed tips, I'm really grateful you've done this as I would never have known Bing was capable of such wonders! I've had a go myself and come up with some, er, interesting results! A few really good ones and a lot of weird stuff! It's so funny what it churns out! As you’ve noted, it's also odd what it's happy with and then what it will suddenly block, weird! Can I please ask, one of your images has, in particular, really caught my eye, it's captioned 'Caught ya staring, didn’t I?' and it's the guy in the leather shirt and grey sweatpants smiling at the camera with his MASSIVE biceps/triceps going on! I mean, WOW! There's something about that arm that just does things to me! I've tried to create an image like this but whatever I try I'm not getting this kind of result, the guys are either 'tiny' (for my taste anyway!) or cartoony and out of all proportions, nothing like the monstrous but almost believable image you've managed to create here. I was wondering, just for this image, would you be willing to share the specific text you used to create this wonderful guy? Once I can see the kind of language/form required I can have a serious go at creating some monstrous men of my own! Anyway, wonderful work and I hope you continue to create as long as Bing will let you! Take care, JH

Hi there!

I’m so glad you’re enjoying this. So I don’t have that specific prompt, I only save prompts when I’m particularly thrilled with the outcome, but I can share a typical prompt which gives really enormous muscular guys fairly reliably. There will always be some disproportionate freaks and some rejects, it’s always a roll of the dice; there’s a lot of curation of the raw results involved too. Keep tinkering with your prompts, this is a word game and the rules keep evolving.

Here’s a sample prompt:

side view, polaroid photo, full length photo, freakishly massive bodybuilder, cpap mask, pyjamas, athletic socks, huge quadriceps, huge hamstrings and calves, gargantuan biceps, large triceps, enormous muscle gut, old t shirt, dramatic lighting, harsh downlighting, crammed into his bed at night with his cpap mask on, 25 year old bodybuilder with impossibly large pectoralis muscles, giant belly, high body fat

And one of the pics it gave me:

[driftward]

Log entries 15-38

Log Entry 15

Her essence ebbs when nobody is present.

I first noticed on day three, when everyone left. From what I could understand, they did not intend to be gone long. Just wanted to give the Madam Commander a chance to rest, and also to discuss important matters. I thought about going with them. Would that have been spying?

It is so weird, being present not present. I am used to not experiencing the world as they do. I am not used to not being a part of it altogether.

Maybe I could go spying. I wonder what the Chirurgeon does when nobody is watching.

The Madam Archon was the first to notice. The rest were quick to figure out what was wrong. I had a solution, but I could not share it.

Resonance.

It is a simple matter of resonance.

She just needs another source of living aether nearby to remind her soul what it is to be alive.

Fortunately their is now a rotation. She is never left alone. And now her essence is slowly building. A few more days, perhaps she will be self sustaining once more.

I hope.

Log Entry 20

Madam Commander spoke for the first time today. There was a discussion in the room. The one she thinks of as a child was the one speaking. Which is weird. I do not know why she thinks he is so young. His soul is clearly fully quickened and mature. Still though. He said a swear word.

She did not wake up, but she did mumble “language.”

The others found this very funny. I found it funny how mad he got. And then he swore a whole lot more.

Log Entry 23

The Madam Commander woke up for the first time today.

Log Entry 24

The Madam Commander is non-verbal. She seems aware of her surroundings, though. I do not feel any distress from her. She seems comfortable. She reaches out to touch others a fair bit. Unusual for her. Some Field Scholars like to be hands on, others maintain a distance. She was the sort to be hands on with a patient, but otherwise she always kept a distance.

I wonder if this means something.

She feels content, though. Especially when certain people are around. I think she favors the Madam Archon, the Leftenant, and the Adept. A twinge of concern for the Crystalficer and the Assistant. Very mixed feelings, swirling, regarding the Chirurgeon and her Commander.

She sleeps a lot.

The other fairies still cannot see me. I thought the Madam Archon might be able to. She can not.

I have taken to inspecting the soul armature. I can feel the lesser part of myself inside of its soulwell. It is the same as me, it is different. I can see the Madam Archon’s mark upon its essence. It is not strong enough to awaken once more just yet, but maybe when it does, I can try talking with it.

There is so much to discuss.

Log Entry 29

I am a fairy construct. I was created by the Madam Commander and the Madam Archon to be an able familiar, to provide able tactical advantage, to perform field assessment, to be a ready medical assistant. The Azure is my natural home, the rivers my natural fields, aether the light of my reality.

Which makes it all the more frustrating that somehow the Amalgam -and- one of those Auri people keep being able to enter and leave the room without me noticing!

I think the Amalgam can even see me, but I cannot seem to interact with them. They just stare.

This is a severe shortcoming in my capabilities, and I will be talking to the Madam Commander about it.

Oh, on that note, she is talking now. Not to me though. She does not know I am here.

Frustrating.

Log Entry 35

I love them. I love them all. They are her friends, her comrades, and I feel as close to them as I do to my fellow fairy constructs. They keep her close, they keep close to one another. They are warm, their essences full, their energies flowing so free. Seas, each of them, flowing around her, sharing with her, keeping her close, reminding her of who and what she is, and now.

The Madam Commander is finally fully lucid. And it is thanks… to them.

Log Entry 38

The Madam Commander is mobile these days. She still needs assistance. I want to help. I do not know what veil keeps us separated.

I try to touch her sometimes. Sometimes I try our link, and I get brief glimpses of what it is like to be her. It is very confusing. She sees everything weirdly. And she is so tall!

We have fallen into a routine, now. One of her comrades helps her walk a certain distance. Someone is there to tend to her meals. Her sleep to wake ratio is growing closer to what I would consider normal. I have nothing to do, so I try to investigate what it is that keeps us separated, or why I cannot interact with anything, or try to talk to her, or try to talk to anyone, or inspect her essence, or inspect the essence of her friends.

Her essence. It is still so concerningly low. Fortunate whatever malaise is affecting her is not affecting me. I am fine. Great, even. Rich and full of aether.

Which is stupid. I do not need so much.

Madam Archon is concerned about it as well. She speaks with the Chirurgeon about it often. The Leftenant is often there. She listens.

I hope they figure it out.

-*-

Klynt’s rough, calloused hand ran gently across Zoissette’s, a thumb caressing her palm, fingers rubbing gently against the back of Zoissette’s hand.

“How’re you feelin’?” she asked, a gentle rumble in the quiet of her deep voice.

Zoissette just stared at her hand a bit. Klynt waited. She had long ago learned to be patient with Zoissette. Zoissette could be an awkward swan of a woman. Strong, elegant, powerful. But also weirdly delicate in some ways.

“Fragile,” said Zoissette at long last. Her voice had a slight croak to it. Mathye had said it was from disuse. Apparently, there had not been much need for conversation out in the space between worlds. “I get tired so fast.”

Klynt just shook her head a little. “There’s no need for you to do anythin’ ‘cept rest,” she said.

“I know,” said Zoissette.

They were quiet again.

“I am so, so sorry.” said Zoissette.

Her voice was so, so quiet. And Klynt instinctively responded in kind, even as she let go of Zoissette’s hand to wrap the woman in a hug.

“Don’t be,” said Klynt. “You did a dumb thing, we got you back, and you’re alright.”

Zoissette shuddered in her arms.

“I hope Lavender is okay,” she said, hoarsely. “I can still feel her, but…”

“We got you back,” said Klynt. “We’ll figure her out too, if we have to. But right now, you have to rest.”

Zoissette just nodded into Klynt’s shoulder, wetting her with tears. Klynt pretended not to notice, and just held Zoissette for a time.

-*-

I like the Leftenant. I think they are good for each other.

[roachliquid]

On the subject of Lovecraftian "madness" and ableism

A lot of Lovecraft's fans and defenders like to say some shit along this line: "Lovecraftian madness isn't mental illness! It's when you see something your brain wasn't wired to understand/when aliens start influencing your mind/(insert circumstance here)!"

This is an incredibly funny thing for me to see, because what all these folks are forgetting is that in The Call of Cthulhu, the story that introduced everyone to the trope of "seeing weird alien visions and losing your mind about it", Lovecraft never referred to this phenomenon as madness. He uses the word in the story, certainly, but not in this context - it appears as a sort of synonym for 'nonsense', just like in the title and story of At the Mountains of Madness.

So what does he call it? Well...

The cuttings largely alluded to outré mental illnesses and outbreaks of group folly or mania in the spring of 1925.

On March 23d, the manuscript continued, Wilcox failed to appear; and inquiries at his quarters revealed that he had been stricken with an obscure sort of fever… …His temperature, oddly enough, was not greatly above normal; but his whole condition was otherwise such as to suggest true fever rather than mental disorder.

The press cuttings, as I have intimated, touched on cases of panic, mania, and eccentricity during the given period.

New York policemen are mobbed by hysterical Levantines on the night of March 22–23.

So we have a bevy of terms here, most of which suggest (or deliberately avoid suggesting, in the second example) some kind of mental dysfunction. Most importantly for this post, Lovecraft specifically, explicitly, used the term "mental illness". This isn't a case of modern readers misinterpreting archaic language. He was fully capable of writing "mental illness" when that was what he meant, and he did so.

So was this ableist? I mean, yeah. Lovecraft refers to the effects of Cthulhu's psychic broadcast as "mental illness", "mania", and "hysteria". None of those are really appropriate terms to be slinging around outside their proper context (though in the case of "hysteria", the proper context is "never", given its misogynist origin).

However, I do believe I should speak in defense of Lovecraft here. Not because he didn't do anything wrong, but because this was one of those moments when he was, in fact, being a product of his time. The 1920s were, to put it mildly, not great for the mentally ill. The entire field of mental health was still in its infancy, and even the cutting-edge knowledge coming from there was inaccurate, deeply harmful, and marginalizing. Which isn't to say that it's fine that he did this, but you can at least skip adding it to your list of Reasons Lovecraft Was A Giant Piece Of Shit And I Hate His Guts.

Besides, using period-typical language isn't even close to the most ableist thing Lovecraft did in this story. No, the real kicker is when he declared that one of the demographics most vulnerable to Cthulhu's psychic outburst was patients in asylums:

And so numerous are the recorded troubles in insane asylums, that only a miracle can have stopped the medical fraternity from noting strange parallelisms and drawing mystified conclusions.

I mean sure, Lovecraft considered himself part of a demographic that would have been affected - seemingly the only people to get through this event unscathed were total normies - but given that he also singled out Jews, colonized Indians, and folks living in Haiti and Africa, I have to say damn it, dude.

Anyway, yes. Lovecraft was being ableist when he wrote this shit, and I'd appreciate if more people just put on their big boy pants and made the effort to account for that in their derivative works instead of trying to dance around the issue by claiming it never happened.

[velvet-vox]

An analysis of Doll on a Roleplay battle setting.

Here's a little something to remember in regards to the things discussed in this post:

Tank beats Melee

Melee beats Support

Support beats Critter

Critter beats Tank

I head canon that Doll is (in an RPG setting) a Critter/Tank but mostly a long distance damage dealer that relies on dealing critical hits (metaphor for her plans) with tanking features and talents that allows her to take in a lot of damage (metaphor for her incredible survivability) in line with these stats:

And the funny and interesting thing about it is that her life trajectory probably wasn't this; in fact, I believe that originally Doll was expected due to her behaviour, personality type, and attitude towards situations to become a Tank/Melee (but more specifically an high damage dealing Tank) but after the death of her parents and the hands of V she took a forceful nose dive into rewriting her class trajectory in order to accommodate for her new goals, because it makes perfect sense:

Uzi is definitely a Critter/Melee but not a straightforward one; for context, a Critter/Melee in the language I am using is a long distance damage dealer that gains advantages from actually getting up close, it's a super rare play style that jives well with Uzi being an unconventional protagonist, but it doesn't stop there as Uzi also doubles down as an all-rounder by also having a blunt, defensive personality and being fairly resistant and resilient like a Tank but also having an understanding, highly empathetic and forgiving personality like a Support that allows her to help her teammates in battle and shrug off some of the trauma caused by her situation.

N on the other end is a Melee/Critter (opposite attract each other:) but not a straight up assassin like V in the sense that N is mostly a regular Melee that has counterplay for Tanks and his capable of getting through other people defenses (metaphor for penetrating the bunker at the start of the season) and he's not a glass cannon like other damage focused Melee and Critters tend to be, (although I don't think he has Tank like qualities in the same way as Uzi, rather he has a moderately high base health pool) and has on top of that the qualities of a Support like Uzi to help his teammates by cleansing debuffs and giving bonuses.

(Side note: even though Uzi and N have the qualities of Support, none of them are healers, they are only buffers and cleansers, they heal themselves and only themselves once they kill, hence why they are the most dysfunctional main trio of all time. Nuzi still works by the way, in the same way Wall-E and EVE works).

V instead, arguably the most complex character of the series, is your typical glass cannon Melee/Critter assassin that deals massive damage up close but can't take back said damage. But where it becomes interesting is that V, much like Doll, wasn't initially projected for this play style as we can clearly see from her original timid maid persona that she was probably more inclined towards being a Support, but unlike Doll, she was fully capable of making that transition because she was motivated by the desire to protect N while keeping him distant, while Doll never fully managed to let go of her Tank origins because she was motivated by hatred and not love.

And as you all can clearly see, the problem with Doll being a Tank becomes self evident: all of the protagonists have the characteristics of Critters, the one class who counters Tanks, meaning that each and every single one of them could have easily mauled her like her family had been if she didn't change her ways; which is ironic, since Tank counters Melee, V main class, so even if Doll couldn't defeat V in a combat situation, she would have hard countered her on a narrative level, so in committing to the Critter play style, she lost an important advantage on that front and, narratively, allowed V to destroy her like her parents were.

And it all comes together to bite her in the ass in episode 7 when she faces Tessa/Cyn who I believe, despite what the colour scheme might imply, it's a Melee/Support who stacks attack buffs on herself; you know, Melee who's the class countered by Tanks (of the which Doll isn't anymore) and villainous Support, the class that counters Critters, aka the class Doll traded Tank for.

As to why I believe fake Tessa is Melee/Support, there are a couple of reasons, but you can mostly get it by their personality and play style; Cyn in their dialogues doesn't try to get under N skin to then deal as much damage as possible all in one go like a Critter would, instead, she slowly destroys his sense of security like a Melee would, also, the Absolute Solver is definitely a Support type of villain since they give their abilities to Uzi and Doll, even if inadvertently, which would make sense narratively to have an unstoppable Support force against our 3 Critter protagonists and to have N and V, our 2 Melees working for him, be the ones who can stop him through Uzi's help.

And lastly, the main reason why Doll even manages to reach Uzi inside the chapel is thanks to that Tank characteristic that she chose to forsake and neglect, and now, that characteristic is not strong and trained enough to allow her to survive, but it has just enough of a presence to allow her to get a final warning out, much like her redemption was always possible despite not being reachable anymore.

Want more?

[ladythornofrivia]

The Imperfection of Sound

In a world of sound, reader is deaf. Until she meets Ran Haitani, who shows her that life is more than just hoping for a miracle.

Pair: Ran x Reader

Part: Five-part series

Warning: Mature Content

(If you’re under 18, I’m sorry but you can’t read this)

Author’s Note: Sorry for the wait. I want to make the second chapter to be great. So much has been going on this month, but here I am, watching a funny Filipino movie, then downloading Webtoons which I should’ve done a long time ago. Is it too late to start? Oh, and the Filipino movie I watch is on Netflix, and then I also watched Bridgerton. I’m also thankful that you guys enjoy the stories I wrote; you have no idea how much it means to me that it captures your attention. I also wanted to say that I hope you guys are doing okay, being happy and well. 🥹

(Please report if someone decides to plagiarizes/steals my work. And notify me. Thank you.)

Chapter 2: This Feeling…

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Everyday, every minute and second, in weeks, months and years, Ran acquires to make everything perfect. Appearances are a must. First impressions last, unless making a greater impression for the next occasion, which occasions turned to daily events.

But for the first time, he’s distressed. Beyond the ultimate perfection, it created another layer of fear to achieve more perfectionism.

For the first weeks, it took you a while to open up with Ran. Though Ran is used to girls throwing themselves at him whether in person or phone, he tried his best to communicate with you without going too fast with a ‘bang’.

Though a while it took, everything fell into place within 3 months. Everything was a success. Though one day, after their busy hours, they started texting each other non-stop, then a summon of simple 20 questions and facts about themselves. Then they twist a game into a more fun one by doing two truths and a lie.

(y/n): I want to make our conversation more interesting.

Ran: 😏 What kind of interesting? 😉

(y/n): don’t get any dirty minded ideas, Ran.

Ran: Why do you assume I’m thinking something dirty?

(y/n): the wink emoji. The side smirk emoji. 😂 i know everything. I see all.

Ran: what do you mean? I’m just sitting here anticipating, darling. Teasing you is so fun to watch, Sauron, the eye that sees all.

(y/n) is typing…

(y/n): it’ll be simple and quick.

Ran: Go on, I’m still here, waiting. 😉😏

(y/n): two truths and a lie. We have to tells facts about ourselves, and you have to guess which one is a lie, same goes for me. Self-explanatory.

Ran: alright. Bring it. 😎

(y/n): i used to ice skate, I won a dance competition at the age of 13, and I can do 3 sign languages—Japanese, English and Italian.

Ran: 🤔 hmmm…interesting…

(y/n): what? What are you thinking at the moment?

Ran: nothing, I feel as if you can do it all. So much sophistication in you. 😏😉

In an instant, you found yourself tucking half of your face in the sheets, flushing heat from his comment. But you regathered yourself that Ran Haitani is capable of making alluring comments to any girl. Not even the air condition would cool down the hot shivers on your limbs and hands, with tiny tingles tickling on your fingertips.

(y/n): so, which is the lie?

Ran: the second one.

Smiling, you typed, “wrong! It’s the first one. Your turn!”

Ran: I have own some designs from Mont Blanc. I’m a part-time model and an actor. I own a building at Roppongi.

(y/n): hmmmm…

Ran: did i offend you? 😱😥

(y/n): not really. I thought it’d be…ordinary like mine.

Ran: what do you mean?

(y/n): my accomplishments felt so mundane compare to yours.but it’s riveting.

Ran: which one?

(y/n): if anything, they all sound like you. Tricky…I have to say an actor or model.

Ran: you’re right! You chose your answer wisely.

(y/n): but you do look like a model. You’re tall and you have nice hair and good bone structure on your legs and a nice complexion. What’s your secret on making your hair look nice? Why do guys always have longer and healthier locks than mine? 😂

Ran: believe me if I say that maintaining hairstyle is hard. Good bone structure on my legs?

(y/n): yeah, we girls have to get used to being pretty. Being pretty cost a lot of hurt. Well you’re tall. Like a giant.

Ran: a handsome giant, I hope? 🙈

(y/n): like one of the fairy tales.

Ran: that’s not what I meant. I meant to say that when it comes to hair salons, they have their prices ranged up. A tall handsome giant, maybe? A confirmation from a talented, sophisticated lady? 🥺

(y/n): I wish everything is cheap. Life isn’t fair. You’re like a tall elvish prince, I’d say.

Ran: I agree. But when it comes to money, anyone can pretty much do anything. As long as everything is legal. Elvish prince? Lord of the Rings?

(y/n): you know it! 🤭🫣

(y/n): I always wanted to become a ballerina, but I dislocated my leg and foot in the process at a young age. I used to dye my hair blonde a lot. And I used to go to homeschool.

Ran: dislocated? Are you okay?

(y/n): 😂. You have to pick which one is a lie.

Ran: if I have to guess…homeschool!

(y/n): nope! Dyeing my hair blonde. I wouldn’t risk it. My head is too precious to be ruined.

Ran: is your leg okay?

(y/n): I’m okay. I can walk and sit perfectly. But if I slip, it tends to get worse. So I had to be careful.

Ran: want me to help you?

(y/n): you don’t have to, actually. I’ve been pretty cautious ever since I was a little girl.

Ran: I can help you to get to a location. I have a car. Driving is not an issue for me.

(y/n): very kind of you, Ran, but I’d rather get exercise for my leg. I don’t want to rely on anyone for the burdens I’ve been carrying for my whole life.

Ran couldn’t let you go on a risky route. He’ll have to find a way to make an excuse to help you, to ease your burdens.

Ran: I overslept over a day. I can cook food. I…have my eyes and heart set on someone.

Your heart skipped a beat. You were sure that your mind is still present, not strayed by the last fact about Ran. He has his eyes set on someone.

Nah, that can’t be. His love life is his precious kingdom—his kingdom of roppongi. You already know this by now. A part of you felt like your heart is screeched into an imploded shock.

Drinking water to calm the burn in your chest and throat, you licked your lips dry, focusing on other facts.

Ran: (y/n)?

(y/n): sorry, I was thinking long and hard on this. They all sound like you.

Ran: are you sure about that? You might want to think long and hard again. 🙈 i know what’s long and hard, if you catch my drift.

(y/n): maybe…the second one?

Ran: you got it!

You couldn’t breathe anymore. Your head turned with hot spiraling motion, even when sitting still. You drank another bottle of water.

(y/n): that was fun! 🤭👏

Ran: do you play video games?

(y/n): no, unfortunately. Besides, I suck at playing video games. I watched a lot of dramas.

Ran: drama?

(y/n): you wouldn’t be interested in it.

Ran: tell me, anyway. 😊🫣

Your heart skipped a beat again, but with your watered eyes prickle, engaging on changing your inner channel to a happier one.

(y/n): um, I either watch Underworld—which is NOT a drama, but rather a supernatural action movie, or I would watch those cheesy romantic movies. Like ‘the fault in our stars’ or anything with historical drama. Sometimes I watch a lot of cartoons like Shrek or anything that has musical parts on it. Putting on subtitles is part of the routine.

Ran: you should invite me sometime.

The hitched on your throat came, nearly choking. Almost as if you’re rendered speechless.

(y/n): are you sure? I mean, there are some parts that are boring. I can set up Fast & Furious or any of the action movies you prefer, like ones with money heist or something.

Ran: it’s okay. Besides, my brother is trying to host a party at the building I live in.

(y/n): why don’t you join him? I mean, you told me before that you can do DJ.I’m sure the people you want to see will be there.

Ran: I want to get away from party life for once. Are you interested in going to a party?

(y/n): I haven’t been into one since the prom.

Ran: we never have a prom here.

(y/n): I know, you’re very wild, unlike me.

Ran: taming is the only way for me to cooperate with somebody.

(y/n): I’m sure someone will tame you one of these times. Maybe sooner than later. I have to go to sleep. My eyes are getting heavy. I’ll text you whenever I can. 😴

Ran’s hands are coated in sweat, reading the last message you sent. Under the lying world of darkness, even a dimmed screen on his phone, he was sure he’s been sparked brighter. The movements shifted in his bed with his limbs were somewhat hyper and awake.

You, on the other hand, are lying. Your eyes weren’t getting heavier. You wish your heart would stop listening and responding from his messages. All of this, will be nothing in the end but just a thin string of temporary comfort. This will all be but a smoke and mirrors to you.

This feeling….you couldn’t survive it. Your inner voices unruly spiked, then drowned.

Like Scarlett O’Hara said, ‘I’ll think about it tomorrow.’ Is a way for you to forget what he previously declared.

Meanwhile…

“Fuck, why did I say that I set my eyes and heart on someone…” Ran scolded himself, throwing himself on the tucked bed. “I’m so stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! It’s not like she’ll make a big deal out of it…right? I’m sure she’ll forget. By the time tomorrow, she’ll talk to me again, like nothing occurs. And I’ll talk to her, too. I’ll just go to take for a walk…”

“Ran, it’s time to go!” Rindou interrupted through the closed door. “We can’t miss the party!”

With Ran’s head hung low, he said, “Guess not.”

Taglist: @colored-tr-panels @galactict3a @onyx-blossom @f1yh1gh @glamourkills18 @akemiixx01 @penguinlovestowrite @mrssano04 @sehunnies-hunnie96

[crplpunkklavier]

I'm rereading Exorcism (now that its finished! yahoo) and I love Kitty Poes sm shes such an interesting characterrr would you wanna tell me about your process for developing her? ig I couldve DMed you but I myself love a chance to rant publicly so here you go lmao. I am unfortunately only on chapter 14 (though I got further than that last time) so if you wanna be spoilery just give me a warning and I'll read it later >:3c

kitty my best friend kitty

i think i can go over this without any spoilers past chapter 14! you have already seen her big arc and i am sooo happy people liked her <333

so! i've never mentioned this to anyone before, but kitty is a bit of a riff off of one of my oldest OCs. when i was about 18, i was big into katekyo hitman reborn, mostly because i was even bigger into organized crime as a general topic. catalena foggia was the youngest of four, and after a rival family took out her parents and all three of her older brothers (you know, the sort of backstory you give people as a teenager) she very grimly stepped up to the throne.

now whenever i need a female character with a "hello, i Run This Place" air about her, my mind goes to catalena, who of course was called cat by all her friends.

and i knew that i wanted a character like that as klavier's manager. generally, whenever i get to make OCs for my aa fics, i try to make most of them women if they aren't already implied to be men by canon like the rest of the gavinners, since aa refuses to have adult female characters that don't die. the gavinners started out as a bunch of teenage guys, the music industry is tough as nails, LA is horrible..... nobody but cat could've done it, man.

the whole dutch connection sort of happened on the fly. i knew i didn't want to call her catalena foggia, even if nobody but, like, the two irl friends i still have who knew me at 18 lol, knew of that oc. it was still important to me to differentiate, because this wasn't cat, this was a new oc who was very similar to and inspired by her. i remembered that kitty is a valid first name, so i went for that, because i like to think i'm funny. :^)

once you reach the end of exorcism, you'll find a little gdoc with bonus content i left in the end notes there, which among other things contains explanations for all the pun names i've used in the fic. including kitty's, but i'll reiterate here: the reason i stuck with a cat theme was that klavier gavin, in my mind, is absolutely a golden retriever, so i wanted to give him a manager/babysitter who is a cat. a big cat. kitty is short in stature, but i mention her lion's mane of hair often enough in the text, so, u know.

that's also part of what i wanted her to be. yeah, she had to be tough simply for the industry and for the fact that she was managing teenagers for a while, but i also knew that i wanted to give klavier friends, and people in his life who really care about him, and will stick with him through all this. kitty is lawfully loyal: if she doesn't agree with something, she has no trouble walking out, but once she actually takes to someone like she took to klavier, she will be fiercely protective. i never mentioned her age, but i imagined her in exorcism to be somewhere in her mid to late 40s. she's seasoned, she's experienced, she's capable - she's what klavier deserves!!! that's what i wanted. kristoph and daryan are so painfully incompetent, when it comes down to it. klavier needs people in his life who know what they're doing.

so, i wanted a big little lion lady for my dog boy. i sort of just clicked through my various dictionaries for a while looking up different cat terms in different languages to see if any of them sounded enough like a last name, and that's how i landed on poes. only after that did i decide to make the dutch conundrum A Thing.

thank you for asking about her <33333 enjoy the rest of the fic, feel free to keep me posted about ur reading experience too :3c

[tiffanylamps]

🔥🔥🔥🔥 of course, some beyond evil hot takes 🔥🔥🔥🔥 but also, what is some controversial opinion that you have about something entirely mundane :^0

ask me ask me ask me baby (Disclaimer: I started writing this, then had dinner, watched an episode of Bros on Foot, then had a shower and now I'm pretty exhausted (thanks rona + bad health). So my answers may seem a lil disorganised... they most likely are) Oh, gosh. I don't think I have that many opinions that are actually controversial when discussing be. But I shall still give it a go. I going to put a break here 'cause I really didn't know when to shut up. Also, sorry Iva but I feel like my answers are things we've already spoken about. So, I don't think any of this is new information to you 😩 TL;DR: Dong Sik and Joo Won shouldn't be represented by one aspect of their character. They're more complicated than that. (Including a mundane opinion at the end) (please excuse any weird funny business in this post (writing, grammar, spelling, clarity), we're trying our best here at Lamps HQ)

i. We as a fandom baby Dong Sik too much. I love Dong Sik. I adore him. He has seen and experienced far too many traumas, and I want nothing but good things for him in his future. What happened to him and his family when he was 20 was a tragedy that could have been avoided if the system (which should be in place to aid victims) wasn't systemically corrupt. He was beaten by police officers whilst in custody. He was framed and belittled, degraded, and humiliated. (the trauma he experienced is so layered and would take a lifetime for him to unpack and get closure from).

It almost completely ruined his life and future prospects, and it would have been done if Nam Sang Bae hadn't come in with his lvl 100 guilt and tried to make up for his actions. Dong Sik tried to make the best out of the awful circumstances that befell him and I sincerely admire him. Not everyone is as kind and loving as Dong Sik.... But but but... Buuuuut that doesn't absolve him of his actions. He murdered someone with his bare hands and allowed the system that was once put against him to be used in his favour.

Police officers shouldn't be murdering civilians. full stop. Yes, he was emotionally compromised- technically it could be seen as self-defence, but an unconvicted man, a suspect, was murdered and Dong Sik didn't face repercussions. Nam Sang Bae skewed the evidence so Dong Sik didn't get into trouble. Dong Sik took a year (?) off work after that event and to "help" him recover, Sang Bae got Dong Sik transferred to his substation (which Sang Bae had been demoted to as a result of one of his rookies dying on the job. Although, it wasn't deemed much of a punishment considering he was so close to retiring anyway). All the while, Dong Sik feels justified for his actions (as he did when he moved Min Jeong's fingers). (Screenshots from the translated script book/author's notes doc)

I think it's best that when discussing and exploring Dong Sik's character, we remember that he is a man capable of murder. He is a murderer. (Do I blame him for what he did? No, not really. I can see why he did it. Objectively, I fucking love it for the narrative lol). But yeah, he isn't a guiltless sweet baby angel who never did anything wrong in his life. (DISCLAIMER: obviously jokes are just jokes. I love them and I never want them to stop. I am super guilty of participating in this line of joking and I'm not about to stop any time soon. But when discussing DS in serious conversations, we shouldn't erase his history. By doing that, we are devoiding him of agency and retribution (which is one of the main arcs/themes of his character development)).

ii. Joo Won is autistic and people need to stop calling him stupid. I will die on this hill, I don't care. I fully encourage everyone to bully Joo Won, because, well, he fucking deserves it. I know that bullying him is a hilarious love language the fandom has developed and I fully participate in this pastime. I honestly love it. Yes, he has done a lot wrong and shouldn't be absolved of his sins (that being said, we should allow him the space to learn and grow. We should learn to forgive whilst still keeping him and ourselves in check). But where I draw the line is when people outright laugh at his characteristics/actions which are derived from the fact that Joo Won is coded as autistic.

I know not everyone is going to be particularly versed in neurodivergent symptoms and that is completely fine. I even didn't fully clock Joo Won being autistic the first time I watched the show- I "labelled" his actions as a result of one) his obscenely privileged upbringing and two) the fact that he (imo) has some degree of OCD (which is a type of anxiety disorder). Then it hit me one day that he is soooo autistic. A few examples (I'm too ill to list each one or go into full detail): 1- People say that he's a bad detective. Which, ugh. 2- That he should have seen the "obvious" signs that Dong Sik wasn't the killer earlier. This sentiment completely ignores the timeline of the show and the fact that the viewer is provided information that Joo Won doesn't have access to. And it also removes Dong Sik's accountability for being purposely obtuse and antagonistic. 3- the whole (very minor) narrative that joo won is lame because he has terrible people skills (or something along those lines, I can't quite remember the tags I read as it was a while ago). This one, in particular, ties in with Joo Won's autism coding. With a (relatively sound) understanding of what autism looks like in male adults, to me, it would seem that a lot of what Joo Won does (speaking bluntly, getting easily confused when provided a lot of information during an intense situation, overwhelm, struggling to gauge people's emotions/tone, being very black and white, hyper focussing on a topic of interest, struggling to adapt to new social environments, masking, issues with food and sensory stimulation, etc) can be credited to autism. Perhaps I'm connecting dots that don't exist and am projecting an ideal onto his character, but as someone who grew up with multiple friends and family members who are neurodiverse (and is neurodiverse myself), I can see so many similarities between Joo Won's actions, thought processes, and mannerisms to that of a person with autism.

^ (credit) here is an overview of some characteristics of autism in adults (obviously, it's a complex topic which differs from person to person. But I can definitely connect many of these examples to joo won's character and actions). [I feel like I could say a lot more about this subject, but it would be distracting away from the original point. I have thoughts on Joo Won masking and how he struggles to mask around Dong Sik]

How does this relate to Joo Won being "stupid"? One may ask. I will try to explain it as best I can (even though I don't fully have my answer planned out). Labelling Joo Won as stupid, as a stuck-up nepo baby who did nothing for the storyline, or just a useless dolt that needed Dong Sik to spoon-feed him, completely misconstrues the source material. Joo Won is intelligent, hard-working, determined, stubborn, foolish, annoying, pompous, proud, narrow-minded, snobby, short-sighted, dedicated, loyal, loving, persistent, and perceptible to change (and even more than that). We wouldn't have a story if Joo Won was stupid. We wouldn't have a conclusion if Joo Won was stupid. Downplaying Joo Won's intelligence and chalking up his characteristics as something that makes him less-than does a complete disservice to his character as well as his importance within the story. Beyond Evil is a story with TWO leads. It's not the Dong Sik show. I can NEVER subscribe to the act of bringing one character down in order to hold another up. Dong Sik is not this all-seeing, all-knowing, flawless character. If he was, he would have never been framed for murder, he wouldn't have been stuck for 20 years, and he wouldn't have needed help in uncovering the truth. He needed Joo Won (and Ji Hwa, Jae Yi, Jung Je, Ji Hoon, Du Soo, Sang Bae, etc). Without Joo Won, he may have never found out the full truth of what happened to his sister (as how many people in his life had a part to play in the traumas he faced). So, I think it's about time that people start to recognise Joo Won as a neurodivergent character (and stop giving him a hard time for not seeing signs that WE were given), as well as stop downplaying him. Kim Soo Jin, Sim Na Yeon, and Yeo Jin Goo created such a multi-dimensional, complex, flawed character with good and bad qualities, it does a disservice to their creativity and hard work when one belittles Joo Won down to one descriptor. Dong Sik and Joo Won aren't just the idiot and the downtrodden. They're more than that and fan interpretation shouldn't rewrite the facts of the show.

Anyway... there's a point in there somewhere... I think... I have no idea if I managed to construct a reply that makes sense. I don't think I fully relayed all my thoughts on this particular matter, but we live. tbh, I feel very icky when an autistic character gets labelled as stupid or useless. It gets on my nerves and if it wasn't obvious, I am pretty protective of Joo Won (maybe I shouldn't be, but... well... here we are!). Also, as a note: I don't expect anyone to agree with my opinion that Joo Won is autistic. But yeah, I was going to include more "controversial" opinions for be, but I have already said way too much. This post reads like a rant - which it probably is - and I don't want it to ruffle anyone's feathers. It's not an attack, it's just my opinion.

As for the mundane opinion: iii. kiwis are the scum of the fruit world. They're nasty and a lot of effort to eat (considering they don't taste great), and their texture is gross. But I do think their furry shell is pretty neat, even if it makes my skin cruel. (idk why this was the first thing that came to mind lol)

(sorry Iva. Maybe one day I will learn how to give short answers😂🫣)

[mypointerfinger]

August 8, 2024, 12:00am

i think i’m nearing the end of my tenure.

i don’t mean to be a pessimist about everything, but it’s a hard ideology to escape. being raised by the internet is the worst thing to happen to me, and most likely will lead to me leaving. my parents marriage has been strained since before i have memories. so many bad times marking me from my childhood and teen years. what sort of life is spent wondering “what if?” for the better part of your days.

i’m still miserable, i still work at the job i hate. every drive has been a nightmare, not for traffic but for being alone with myself. i’m torturing myself. my thoughts are becoming slower and more focused, but on death and how worthless i am. my 23rd birthday passed a week ago, and i saw a tweet a few days after it, something like “always talking about getting your life together, bro you’re 22 it’s too late.” stuff like that sticks with me. we both know it’s a joke, you and i, but many jokes come from half truths. my brain compartmentalizes everything negative at the absolute forefront of every instance, and that little stupid post has bothered me for almost a week.

i didn’t feel loved growing up. i felt like i was fucking everything up, but never had anyone to look to for help. my parents chastised my mistakes but didn’t offer help in how i could do better next time. i would just be catching insults and having to figure it out myself. (i havent figured anything out.) i remember plenty of times trying to hide from them and the abuse, and while i’m thankful it was never physical, mentally i am scarred 100%. almost exactly 8 years ago, i was sitting in the closet behind me as i write this. my dog just died, and i had nobody to look to for comfort in the house. my mom was having a breakdown in the living room and my dad had just gotten home to join in. i was shaking and crying and remember how badly i wished Hussar was there with me. it’s a weird thing to deal with these things, always bringing the severity down when it really fucked my life up, you know? i didn’t develop any real skills as a kid, i begged my parents to let me quit everything they signed me up for, i didn’t have friends in person and didn’t know how to make them. i feel hopeless socially. i am terrified of people. moreso fearful i’ll like weird in front of them, or that i’ll be too over the top in the moment and push people away. me emotional maturity is nonexistent and wish that i was capable of working on it, i just have no clue where to begin. it’s like trying to learn a language without hearing or reading it, no foundation and no concept of what to even aim for.

truth be told i rambled the last half of that paragraph to avoid talking about the real shit: i thought about writing a note tonight. i’m starting to feel irredeemably hopeless, i lost the small amount of hope i had left that i honestly didn’t know was there. for people not in my shoes, it’s difficult to portray the feeling of just wishing to not be here. i don’t wanna experience death, i don’t wanna give up, but at some point the mental anguish i’m experiencing is piling up and overflowing. i wish i treated my mother better. it’s a funny thing being so conflicted about the person who’s supposed to be your world. like, “oh how can you wish to be kinder to someone who abused you?” the old saying—hurt people hurt people—is appropriate. my mother grew up with abusive parents herself, they were drinkers. on top of the abuse, i don’t remember if i mentioned it or not, but she’s very lonely, almost in a similar spot to me. we both are in constant solitary confinement. my dad seems unfazed but he’s a military man, and of us 3 he gets the most social interaction. i’m starting to tangent again, but the point being.. i have a lot of things i haven’t forgiven myself for yet. some days i feel like i’m intrinsically supposed to be evil, maybe i should be selling fentanyl or murdering innocent people for the thrill so good people have a job to do. maybe my purpose is to be the villain. as insane and illogical as that sounds, it’s a true side of my thoughts that i wish i didn’t have. the more logical side says that’s a stupid fucking plan.

i have a couple social gatherings coming up, i’m gonna see some friends from grade school and their friends from high school. i’ve only met two of them in person before and i’m horrified to meet the others. i don’t wanna be weird. we play games online and i’m still letting me frustration out on there. almost every night, i get off the computer feeling like a coward and a freak. at the bare minimum, my passtimes should be fun, but even simple things like video games are just.. i take them so seriously that i get blinded by rage. i punched my desk so hard earlier i gashed my fist open. i said a bunch of horrible shit like every other day, and not even because i really want that for someone else. i’d never genuinely wish for someone’s death. but i still say horrible shit that just is so fucking embarrassing. it’s exhausting, i feel like 2 completely different people some days. like, how can i go from a perfectly fine experience on Tuesday, having a good time, performed well, didn’t say anything crazy, to tonight. tonight, where i blew up and said i wished some random person hung himself in his closet. it’s funny to reread some of this stuff because i can’t even believe that it bothers me so much to the point i say such vulgar stuff. i think i brought my parents up because it’s a partial problem from how i was raised. you reflect who your parents are to an extent and my dad has always been prone to anger, my mom is severely mentally unstable. what a culmination! right?

for my last spew of bullshit.. (and no, i’m not gonna do anything to myself tonight)

i feel like my mind never slows down. the internet really has brought my mind to a place of dopamine dependency. TikTok, YT Shorts, top 5-10 lists, fast flashy advertisements. just EVERYTHING all feels like it’s limiting my attention span, and in turn, makes my brain crave for that next hit. the problem i got with that is how i don’t get a hit anymore from ANYTHING. the combo of my mental state and the fast pace that my thoughts are running at causes me to perpetually be negative to myself. i have days i can’t even look in the mirror because the voice in my head is gonna just start commenting on every slight imperfection. there’s no literal voice in my head, moreso it’s a dialogue between me and myself. the sheer impulse and violence that vibes from my brain needing dopamine is ruining my life, and as of now i have no power to control it. i need a mentor, maybe electroshock therapy or whatever my doc said. since sort of meth treatment or something where they give you tranquilizer and it alters your brain chemistry.

disjointed post but i don’t care, documenting my thoughts is what matters more than anything to me right now. this is probably great for the attention span thing. i’m never beating the loser allegations

love j

[deerfests]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by: @zonkutonshorrifyingpeenie (thank you!)

How many works do you have on AO3?

70! We surpassed the funny number.

What's your total AO3 word count?

227,690 (only 5,014 more since last time).

What fandoms do you write for?

Still the RCU.

Top five fics by kudos?

In need -128kudos

Try to sleep -115kudos

Good Boy -113kudos

Cupids' Misfire -112kudos

Like Newlyweds Do -110kudos

Casual reminder, kudos are nice but ultimately don't mean shit.

Do you respond to comments?

I try to, but sometimes I just mentally do it and forget to actually do it then too much time passes till I remember/notice, and it is too awkward to do that.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Finality, or Honeythief because both deal with dark subject matter, but then I also hate both those fics.

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Still the Cartography series, but who knows.

Do you get hate on fics?

I know I've gotten an angry comment or two, considerably unprovoked on completely tagged content but that's neither here nor there. I am not aware of anything beyond that, but been told it's a possibility.

Do you write smut?

Occasionally, though I'm moving further away from it because now I find it a little boring... or I just don't seem to care. To say, there's nothing wrong with PWP even, I've just gotten to the point where PWP is not my thing, and I'd rather have a plot that includes it eventually. Sometimes it just ends up the plot doesn't need it.

Craziest crossover?

Not a fan of crossovers, the craziest I'll ever get is probably within the RCU but that doesn't even count.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Currently unaware of that, so I can't say. I've had my headcanons lifted with no nod or acknowledgment though, which is... whatever -- but still stung a bit.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes...

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

There were two attempts, both failing.

All time favorite ship

ScratchWake owns my soul :/ I've spent 12 years with them and I'll spend 12 more.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Could make an endless list, tbh. I just wanna finish something, but for the last month, I've just been scrapping WIPs.

What are your writing strengths?

I said dialog last time, but upon reflection, I don't actually know.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Okay, now I'm gonna get into it:

If it's a pattern of how the character talks in canon (for example: Ahti), then absolutely as long as you're being mindful and using the correct resources (AKA: not Google translate)... However, if it's a character talking in one language throughout the entire series, may it be not English, but you're writing in English and we're supposed to assume they're talking in the language they talk in canon? Do not include random foreign words, it not only kills the flow imho but it also just feels cringy. Lastly, if it's a character capable of speaking two languages, then actually note that forgetting a word would not suddenly mean I'm saying the word in their native tongue and awkwardly amending. It'll be closer to "I'm going to -- um fuck forgot the word-- what's that thing, you know..." or whatever. Also, some native speakers of their language wouldn't call their lover(s) pet names in their own language or tell them they love them in their own language because they feel it's awkward and kinda cringe.

Sorry, but it's the truth of how I feel.

First fandom you wrote in?

It was a sitcom...

Favorite fic you've written?

I really and genuinely do not think I've written anything that I feel good about currently.

If you were forced to write only one genre for the rest of your life (like James Patterson lol) what would you want it to be?

I guess romance because I like human interactions the most. I sadly am not as decent at anything else.

+++

Tagging: I don't actively know who to tag. Sorry.

[snacksizedgates]

Analysis Of This Byler Scene — Queer-coding, Mileven Parallels + Love Triangle

At this rate I'm gonna end up going through every Byler scene in S4 and analyzing it for queer coding lol. This one should be shorter than my other posts. Yeah scratch that nvm lol... Here we go...

So let's start chronologically:

This may be a reach but honestly, if Byler is going to be endgame, I can see the Duffer's doing tons of little things to indicate it because they love stuff like that.

Anyway, Mike walks into Will's room and closes the door. This first indicates they need privacy for whatever the subsequent scene is gonna be, meaning the scene is intimate in some way. In (good) film and tv, mostly everything in a scene is important. Down to little objects, lighting, character position, all of it.

Mike closing the door, especially to Will's room, could symbolize being in the closet. They didn't have to use that camera angle. They didn't even have to show the door or the entire room. They didn't even need to have him close the door. Yet they did. I think it's interesting.

Another thing in this scene that makes it harder to ignore is the fact that Will is right in front of an open closet. Even further, Mike sits across from Will who's in front of this open closet, in opposition to the both of them. All signs that Mike is queer, in the closet and repressing his feelings.

Mike has essentially shut/locked himself in the room (closet) with just Will, and he does this right at the beginning of an vulnerable scene between them. The open closet behind Will obviously symbolizes he is more open with his gay feelings than Mike. But, his closet is only open in the context of being locked in a room with Mike.

And this could be even more delusional but look at the dialogue. Isn't it funny that those are the lines juxtaposed with what I just described? (Visuals alluding to being in the closet)

Will is surprised that Mike packed so quickly = Mike has his gay feelings packed away, but Will does not. Will also says this while packing his bags to leave, signaling that he can pack and unpack his feelings, maybe not quickly ("you're already packed?) but he's capable of doing so.

Mike says he never really unpacked = obviously, he has not unpacked any of his gay feelings.

They didn't have to even show them packing or acknowledge Mike hasn't unpacked as it has no narrative value. They could've chose any setting for this apology, but they chose Will's room. They didn't even have to put this intimate, vulnerable scene in the show yet they did, and they chose to mention Mike never unpacking and Will being capable of unpacking and packing. I think that's why a lot of seemingly insignificant things are actually way more significant than you think; there's no point in wasting even 15 seconds of your run time on an insignificant line that gets the story (or subtext) nowhere. Basically if it doesn't develop characters or plot line, it shouldn't be there.

But yet these lines were, contrasting with the visuals I explained. Looks and sounds like subtext to me.

First I want to note that Mike has both of his hands directly on both of the respective laps. It doesn't have to automatically mean anything but this is typically something people do when they're nervous. It's called leg cleansing, it's when you rest your hands on your laps and periodically can be found rubbing your thighs. It soothes nerves so a lot of people with anxiety will be found doing this or some form of it somewhere else on their body. It's a popular piece of body language. Obviously it doesn't have to apply to everyone but they're acting so I think it's important.

Next I want to note the lighting. Notice both of them have about half of their face in the dark and half in the light. Furthermore, Will is sat with mostly his back towards Mike, which is lit up in light. His face, which he has to turn in order to talk to Mike, is dark. This may indicate that Will wants to be open with Mike but is having difficulty with that. We know Will is gay so it's easier to analyze that for him. But Mike? It's not confirmed. So let's look it at how it compares to Will's visuals. The side of his face that's dark is further away from Will. To me this suggests Mike has the opposite problem; he only feels safe with Will. As most people who believe Mike is gay know, Will is seemingly more accepting of his gayness than Mike is. Will's bigger struggle is the fact that he pines over his best friend and is scared to tell him because what if HE rejects Will. Personally I think if Will told Mike, he would be able to tell anyone else. But it's not the same with Mike. Mike fears the rest of the world judging him, not Will.

I'll admit this is definitely a stretch and obviously it's because they're using the lighting from the window. However, they could have made it so there weren't many shadows at all, for a better lit shot. But they chose not to.

Anyway, now we can start with the dialogue. In the first screencap Mike says his line "For knocking some sense into me. I was being a total self-pitying idiot."

Obviously he is referencing their previous scene where he was moping over El. The fact that he even brought this up tells me he feels embarrassed or silly in some way. That indicates he doesn't like sharing his feelings and while he was away from Will he was actively thinking about what he said. (an anxious gay he just like me fr) He cares about what Will thinks of him so much that it causes him anxiety. Would it be the same with Dustin and Lucas? Sure, if he has an anxiety disorder or something. But there's no indication of this dynamic between Mike and Dustin/Lucas, so it's safe to assume this exists solely with Will.

There's not really any reason he should feel embarrassed about telling Will how he's feeling. He didn't say anything damning and he was just sad. So I think that fact that he's kind of apologizing in a way shows he likes Will and cares about what Will thinks of him.

However, if you watch throughout the show he has a clear pattern with not being able to open up. Even since s1 in the scene with El where he's trying to ask her to the dance. So already we know he has an issue with bottling things up and overthinking. Most of the other characters share their feelings here and there and even if they don't or have a hard time with it, they often don't "apologize" for it once they have shared. Furthermore, throughout the show Will is the only one Mike has felt comfortable enough to open up or be vulnerable with, to a degree. So the fact that he still feels the need to bring it up shows he's even embarrassed with Will. This boy is so repressed. All of this is meant to parallel with the fact that he bottles up his gay feelings too.

Next we see the dialogue referencing how they can communicate silently or in code. Like "Crazy Together" -- they know what each other is implying without having to say it. In the van scene a few episodes later, they both reply "yeah" to each other, knowing they mean to say I love you. They don't have to say it. They know it. But they do want to say it, they just can't. This is why Will and Mike repeat words back to each other, it symbolizes they love each other. Mike and El, a canon romantic pairing, also repeat words back to each other. So we know that repeating words back to each other (while looking all flirty too lol) = romantic pairing.

Mike smiles very big with his lips closed at Will and then chuckles. Will lingers on him for a moment but quickly turns his head. He doesn't think Mike likes him back, obviously, and he feels embarrassed because Mike's smile is making him crush.

But the most interesting part to me is that Will turns around and we go back to Mike who is cheesing hard, teeth an all. This isn't (only?) flirtatious, he's happy. Either he started cheesing when Will was looking at him and then Will turned away (likely) or he started cheesing once Will was already turned around.

I think it's the former for two reasons. One being that Will gets nervous and turns around, very typical behavior for someone who has a crush. And two being...

Mikes smile dropped very quickly and he goes right back into being serious/nervous. This could suggest he takes Will's reaction negatively. He's thinking the something similar to Will - he thinks Will's reaction is negative, perhaps he thinks Will could tell he was crushing. Which is pretty much what Will is worried about too. But he's also nervous about apologizing to him too. Why? In the past he's never been nervous about speaking intimately with Will, even in s3 he was ready to apologize within hours. Why now? Because he's aware of his feelings for him, he knows he messed up this time, and he has to be vulnerable. He has to choose his words wisely, or he could out himself.

The Mileven apology (attempt) happened the episode before. And if you watch all the details, they're significantly different. Although the situations are mirroring each other - (I know I sound like a broken record but just gonna point out again how this is yet another instance that goes along with the Superman theory, furthering the love triangle between the three of them.) Both Will and El need an apology from Mike. El is expecting one (rightfully so) but Will isn't. :( We know this because El is angry at him while Will is at the breakfast table with him (Stand Up! STAND UP!!!! lol meme reference sorry I had to). However the situations end up with very, very different outcomes, as we all know. Here's why.

If you watch the Mileven apology scene, Mike starts the apologies off completely differently. To El he immediately puts the blame on her :( He says "are we not gonna talk about it?" And he isn't exactly rude but he's not sweet or gentle. With Will, he immediately starts off by saying "About the past few days...." intending to apologize. And he's gentle about it, smiling. Completely different tones.

Also note that the Byler apology scene happens the episode after Mileven's apology scene, meaning there isn't much time in between them. Essentially, he apologizes to Will how he should have apologized to his girlfriend. Sweet and gentle. This parallels last season with the Mileven/Byler fights. Constant parallels between them, and when one is taken away, the other is closer to Mike in all seasons. They literally went S1:Mileven S2:Byler S3:Mileven S4: Byler. 👁👄👁 BE MORE OBVIOUS??? It's like they spent these four seasons splitting the love triangle in two and now it's a toss up for S5 after all the development.

Okay back to the shots. As soon as Will says he deserved it, Mike shoots back "No." Like a milisecond after Will finishes his sentences. This suggests Mike feels strongly about what he's saying and thinks what Will is saying is ridiculous and very untrue. Especially considering his emphasis on No. He feels really bad about treating Will poorly.

And then we land on his face which looks disgusted. Now obviously in context, he's not disgusted at Will. So why does he have a disgusted face on? Because he's disgusted with himself. He knows he made Will feel like he "deserved" some sort of bad treatment, and he's upset with himself for it. And the worst part about it is that Will believed it was his fault.

Now if you go back to the Mileven apology... he doesn't admit what he did wrong. Instead he insists she's wrong about him thinking she is a monster. With Will, he instantly admits Will didn't deserve the treatment he gave him. But with Mileven it's the complete opposite (El you deserve better than this closeted homo sorry to you Mike Wheeler). He says "no" multiple times, just like with Byler, but he's stuttering and stumbling. Go watch the Byler apology... He says each and every single "No" very clearly. He is lying in the Mileven scene. I don't think he necessarily thinks she's a monster - I do think he cares for her as a very close friend - but I think he sees her as superior to him, and while that fascinates him it may also frighten him a little. That's why it's hard for him to say this without sounding sincere, he doesn't see her as a monster but he sees her as different then him. Somebody on twitter pointed out that in the apology attempt scene, El stands over Mike, creating an inferior vs superior dynamic, indicating Mike's feelings about the situation. El doesn't feel that way and we know this because at the very end of the scene she says "Not anymore" about being a superhero. The whole scene is her talking about how she's so different, still, even without the powers. So she doesn't view herself as superior to him, she views herself as different from him. Mike views her as superior to him.

Now in the Byler scene, they're almost at the same level, except Wills kneeling on the floor so he's slightly lower than Mike, and because of this he does have to look slightly up to Mike. But you'll also notice that Mike's shots look like they're at eye level. Will's shot's are pointed just ever so slightly downward. This means Will views Mike as above him - probably not in a bad way, but he looks up to him. He's smiling in these shots, not arguing like Mike was with Eleven. They are the same visuals to indicate the context is the same. (An attempted apology to a lover/crush) But we see the outcome is different. Conflictingly, Mike's shots in the Byler scene are at eye/level, meaning he sees Will as his equal. Not superior. Like c'mon. It's so blatant that the writers want us to see the juxtaposition between these two character pairings and if one's a romantic couple the other should be too, no? Just look at this definition of a love triangle. (not all love triangles happen this way, but this is called the eternal love triangle)

Now El isn't jealous because she's not aware of Mike's love for Will, and Mike isn't a cheater because nothing has happened (although those lip glances and flirty smiles are bordering you better watch yourself Mike Wheeler) But the dynamic is still there. El feels unloved by Mike, not uncared for, unloved. Mike has always deep down had feelings for Will and Will is definitely part of (the catalyst) the reason why Mike has issues with Mileven. Okay next shots.

Mike starts off by mentioning the rest of the party in Hawkins, his friends. He says "they're GREAT, it's just..." It's just what Mike? Will's not great? Well if you don't think he's great then what do you think? His next line creates a contrast between all of his other friends and Will. Hawkins isn't the same without Will, for Mike, not anybody else. He doesn't say this to El (because he doesn't love her romantically and she deserves better.) He says this to Will. He then goes on to say he feels like he lost Will and literally says he's focusing too much on his girlfriend. Mike's telling Will that his life is literally not the same without Will around, physically and emotionally.To me, this explains his behavior in the beginning of the season. He knows (or thinks) there's no possibility of Will coming home with him so why even get attached again? He's not attached to El like he is to Will, so writing and calling is good enough for him until he can see her after 8 months. Then he asks will if any of that makes sense, showing he is insecure/unsure of what he just said. He's second guessing it. Probably racking his mind to make sure he didn't say anything too much. He needs Will's approval of his feelings.

Note he still has his hands on his lap. And there's no better time than now to point out the imagery behind Mike. While Will has an open closet behind him, Mike has a poster of Jaws, a horror movie, and then a poster of a musical named Little Shop of Horrors. So while Will is with an open closet meaning he's accepting his feeling, Mike is framed by horror, meaning this is all scary for him, even being vulnerable with Will. Because now he recognizes his feelings for him, whereas he didn't know he had them in the other seasons.

In the first shot Mike says he has no idea what's gona happen next. That means he has no idea what's gonna happen with El, his girlfriend. He thinks theres no coming back from the fight they just had. Note that they never officially got back together and never kissed in their reunion. Then directly after he suggests that there is no more Mileven, he says him and Will should be a team. A partnership. Together.

But before he suggests that, he darts his eyes over to the side nervously, and then takes a big gulp. He's very obviously nervous.

Also, since Will has turned to face him at this point (conveying he's feeling more open with Mike) the lighting on their faces mirror each other. The dark is on the same side and the light is on the same side. Signifying unity between them. They're a pair.

And the light (gay) side is also the direction Mike darts his eyes in before suggesting they be a team. This could definitely be coincidental but I thought it was worth pointing out.

Then he takes a slight pause and suggest they be friends (again). Then in the bottom left picture, he takes an even longer pause while staring right into Will's eyes, and finally suggests best friends. Best friends is what Will suggested in the rink scene, so this means definitively that Mike is reciprocating Will's feelings.

Note once again this happens once El leaves. As soon as El leaves the picture, in whatever circumstance throughout the show, Will immediately takes her place. This is no exception, in fact it's the biggest example since S2.

Will cannot have Mike the way that he wants when El is there because Mike basically forces himself to be straight.

And then THIS part lol. Please give me a heterosexual explanation for this, quickly.

Crickets.

So this is pretty self explanatory but I'm going to go into it just a bit. Don't worry we are nearing the end lol.

Will says cool. He says it excitedly. Mike says cool, he says it in a calm, chill manner. You've probably heard this before and I think I mentioned it in one of my other posts. But they're repeating the term "Cool" back to each other, just like they do in S2 with Crazy Together. This is another term for I love you, because they're repeating it back and they are looking at each other flirtatious.

Visually all I'm gonna point out is Mike literally checks Will out, flicks his eyebrow up while bringing his eyes back to Will's face (?????????) and then smiles LIKE THAT.

He also can see Will tearing up, just noting that.

If this is not the gayest scene between them.

Okay to the very last point I'm going to make here, but I think it's the most important one.

This scene parallels the van scene in two ways. Mike has a speech and Will let's him get through it uninterrupted, without saying anything. The second parallel is that they repeat the code I love you words back to each other. Once Mike starts his speech with "No No..." Will doesn't say anything til the very end with "Cool." Even when Mike asks him a question, he only nods. The same thing happens in the van scene. Once Will starts his speech, Mike doesn't say anything til the very end with "Yeah" the reciprocated code word for I love you.

And not to mention, to the right of Mike is the boys don't cry poster, on his side of the room in the light, not the dark. This could suggest Mike has repressed feelings (boys dont cry) about being gay (the light where him and Will are together). Maybe nothing maybe something. I think it's interesting.

Now do I think the Duffer's alone are smart enough for everything I listed in here? Probably not. But they have a whole crew of people working on this set so maybe not everything here is true or intentional, but I definitely think this scene is queer-coded none the less.

Wow. This is my longest post yet. I thought I wouldn't find much in this scene when I started out hence the "this post should be a short one" lol. Maybe we are getting Byler after all.

Hope you enjoy!

[chanandlersstuff]

The seasons pass and the heartbreak too

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader.

Summary: Life its a funny thing or maybe whats meant to be will find his way back together.

Word count: 1.927

Author’s note: This is the second part from this one and I was thinking that those two deserve some closure, so it will be one more part and that's it. Hope you like it. English is my second language so sorry for the misspellings. The song that inspired this part is "Nineteen" from Dylan, it's really good and some parts of it are on the story.

After leaving Charles at the airport that day, you didn't hear from him anymore until maybe the next year because having almost the same group of friends it was pretty hard not to know about him. One day while you were on a long call with Pierre he told you that he was dating a beautiful girl and that he seemed happy. That instead of breaking your heart completely made you happy because he was happy again. The love you had for him prevented you from being sad about it. Pierre also told you that Charles was having a great season and that also made you happy. Months passed and you didn't hear from him. You were getting better and better at your dream job, becoming more important in the business. The F1 life was little forgotten in your life but always alive in the back of your mind.

Summers, birthdays and seasons passed and Charles was achieving all his F1 goals. One night while having dinner with Pierre in some part of the world talking about life he told him that you were dating some guy and that you were happy. Charles’ fork stopped mid air when he heard the news and to Pierre surprise a smile appeared in his face, a genuine smile. He was happy for you, after all the last time he saw you was nearly three years ago and he didn't hate you, he had incredible affection towards you but that was it. Charles had no love interest in his life anymore but none of that had nothing to do with you.

Sometimes he wondered what were you doing with your life, if you achieved all your dream goals, if you were fine, all that kind of stuff. Even one time he almost dialled your number only to see if you had the same number and if you would answer him but that idea turn into a stupid one the second he almost tuch your contac name. You, on the other hand, while exploring new places or when you saw something that you thought would be fun for him, you couldn’t contain your brain from thinking about him and smiling. His name always on your phone but never used. Happy memories from the time you spend together, while being friends and lovers, no hold grudges.

One day while you were crossing the street, coffee in hand and sunglasses in your eyes, your mind deep down in work, someone shouting your name brought you back to reality and the voice was so familiar. You lowered your sunglasses to see better and when the window car next to you lowered too your heart seems to beat a little slower or everything happens in slow motion. He was there in his matt black Ferrari with the Monaco flag across the car and the 16 on one side. Charles Leclerc in the flesh, shouting your name in the red light of a street. With a smile on your face you walked to the passenger side of the car and you crouched a little to see him better.

-I wasn't entirely sure it was you.- Charles said smiling.

-So you took your chances shouting at me I see.- He nodded and you laughed. -How are you?

-Fine, fine. What about you?- The two of you were smiling like little kids on Christmas night.

-I’m fine too.- Looking at his face you notice that he hasn't changed that much. His face was more mature and his beard from a couple of days the same as you remembered. The honk of other cars brought you back to reality -It was fantastic to see you again but I'm going late to a meeting and those drivers are getting pissed.

He frowned a little and moved his head to see the cars behind him. -Oh. Yes, it was great seeing you again.- He smiled and you smiled back. You straightened and took two steps back. -WAIT.

-¿Yes?- Your voice was sweet.

-You ....eh....we….- You giggle because he was the same nervous Charles you remember when you were little.

-¿Yes Charles?.- He laughed and cleared his throat.

-I was thinking if you could give me your number.- You raised your eyebrows. -To stay in touch I mean, if you want of course.

You smile and from one of the pockets of your bag you pulled out your card. -Gimme a call whenever you want.- Your fingers touch and a familiar, not so forgotten, feeling travels through your bodys. -Bye Charles.

A week later you were walking towards him in whiteh trousers and shoes, a black tank top, sunglasses and hat. The “friendly lunch”, as he said, was in a restaurant in front of the water and the summer in the air made the day perfect. It wasn't a date at all, it was two friends who hadn't seen each other in a while catching up.

With a bottle of water in the middle, because he had to drive and you weren’t going to drink wine alone, the conversation flowed as easy as all those years ago. Laughs that made the stomach hurt and tears appeared in the corner of your eyes while the two of you remembered long time memories and funny histories.

The way he kept switching languages as easy as breathing and the sun that was coming down, illuminated your skin making you glow in his eyes and your smile, gosh it was the brightest smile he'd ever seen. Everything was so easy going and funny, like a picture perfect. As if the two of you have never walked away from your lives, as if you have talked every day for the past few years.

-Do you remember that night when we went to that awful party and we ended up drinking coffee in that spot we used to like so much?- He said when you came down from the laughter.

-It was the same day that your mum almost kill us because we were minor and we stunk at cigarettes?- The scene coming to your brain as it was yesterday and he nodded. -Oh yes, I remember. Some dude spilled his drink in my dress and it had a huge stain on it.

-Yes, that blue dress looked so beautiful on you.- You didn’t remember the color, but apparently Charles did.

-I was a mess Charles.- You tried to argue with him.

-A hot mess.- He said in a low tone hoping, praying that you didn’t hear him but you did and didn't say anything about it trying to not ruin the nice day you were having.

-Do you remember that day you called me late at night to pick you up at that random bar?- You said and he burst into laughter at the memory.

-Oh god yes. I almost came out of that bar crawling and you were there waiting for me in that empty street.- Charles said, scratching his head.

-Were only one streetlight worked properly.- You add in a funny tone.

-You were there with my jacket and two blankets and a worried face.

-Because it was freaking cold, like freezing.- You said laughing and he did too. -I don't remember why you were there and I could bet you don't remember either because you were so drunk that you forgot the reason.

-I remember that the next day I had the worst hangover of my life and I swore that I would never drink that way ever again.- Charles grabbed the glass from the table and drank.

-I remember that you were insufferable the next day, like I couldn't even look your way and you were already whining like a baby.- You said and he laughed.

-And the night you were so stressed about that exam and I told you to run away with me?- You frowned. -That I “kidnapped you” and took you to that little dinner and we stayed there for like 5 hours.- You were smiling but didn't say anything or move an inch. -The dinner that was like from the 70s or 80s, with neon signs and rock music.

You nodded with your head. -Can I be honest with you?- He nodded. -All I saw that night was you and how your eyes seem to change color with the neon lights. He didn't say anything but smiled brightly at you and blushed a little.

If you were honest you remember all too well the things you did together. The little lies to your friends telling you didn't like him when you clearly did, the big fights in those summer days where everything complicated and all the mistakes were made and how he always said “You and I, that’s all the matter. No one else, just you and I” and how he told you “You are the only one I want” when you were agreeing to that strange summer deal.

-Do you remember the day we spent in your granny’s garden looking at the stars in that white old sheet?- You said looking at water.

-Yes, we spent hours talking about our big dreams and desires.- A little silence fell between you two. -I really hope you achieve everything you told me that night.- The fact that he seemed to remember what you told him that night told everything that you needed to know.

-I did, most of them I did. I hope the same for you.

-I achieved some of them and I’m doing others this year.-

But the truth was that both of you made promises and dream things together, thinking that you would stay friends or lovers forever. Always by the other side, cheering their wins and being there when they lost but life wanted other things.

-It seems that we both remember a lot of things from years ago.- You said in a nervous tone trying to cover the inexistent awkward silence.

-Of course I remember. How could I ever forget it.- You tilted your head. -How quickly and hard I fell for you.- His tone was so tender and the smile he was giving you was something from another planet.

-Charles…- You played with the napkin in front of you.

-What? It's true, I was never capable of lying to you and you weren't capable either so tell me what's on your mind.- You stayed in silence for a couple of minutes trying to find sense about them.

-Loving you wasn't a waste. Yes hearts were bruised and mistakes were made but I will do it all the same.- You said and smiled at him.

-I don't.- The look on your face must be a hurt one because he rushed his next words. -Because at the end I lost you, everything we were. Friends, lovers, partners, everything lost for years.

-But we are here now.- You said in a slow tone.

-But for how long?- You opened your mouth to talk but he interrupted you. -A week? Ten days? You are going to get back to your job and I have to get back to race, it's the summer deal all over again. And I do not say this because I want to be your boyfriend again or whatever we have been years ago, I say it because I want my friend back. You know how many times I almost called you to tell you everything that was going on with my life, to tell you that I needed you when shit hit the fan? A thousand times. I do not want you in my life if you are going to be entering or leaving it as if it were a candy store. I want you permanently in it and I want to be in your life in the same way. Be there for you when your work is going well and when you cry from stress like all those years ago but this time physically. I want you here.- At this point he was moving his hands freneticaly and raising his voice a little but the only you could do was looked at him speechless absorving his statement and your stupid heart racing as fast as he drives his car in the weekends.

[fermented-writers-block]

PART 1 of 6 of the Owl Deity Hooty Theory

[NEXT PART]

[OWL DEITY HOOTY THEORY MASTERPOST] (in development)

(TLDR at bottom of post)

Over several long months of research and analysis since March of 2020, I have been following an utterly fascinating thread of potential misdirection and subtle details throughout The Owl House, and today, I would like to start weaving together of what I believe could become one of the biggest and most cleverly disguised twists in the entire show.

To begin, let’s take a look at the B plot of Understanding Willow:

On first glance, it’s an ultimately inconsequential sidestory with the sole purpose of justifying an excuse to keep Luz and Amity in Willow’s mind, as well as providing some well-needed room to breathe and release tension after the veryemotionally charged confrontation with Inner Willow. After half an episode of Eda and King outdoing the other in ridiculous ways to win Gus’ vote and Gus running off in frustration at the end of the episode from Hooty’s inane rambling, it’s easy to laugh off Gus’ pick and assume that nothing/of value was said when he closed the door for the interview.

However, if one pays close attention to that very scene, Hooty actually canstill be heard (if faintly) underneath Eda and King’s grumbling, interestingly talking about how “It all started with a hunt. Blood red skies. That’s right, I was created-.”

Now, while it may seem silly to focus on dialogue from Hooty of all characters, this A) tells us that there was an event in the past involving blood red skies and a hunt of some kind, B) that Hooty had been created close to said event, and C) implies that what he knows but can’t tell as a story worth a damn is EXTREMELY important to be included and be hidden in such a manner.

For comparison, the only other instance of dialogue being tucked away in the background in the entire show is in Wing It Like Witches:

During the lecture at the beginning of the episode, the history teacher openswith lore on Belos appointing a head witch to each coven over 50 years ago, immediately cluing in the audience to try and decipher the rest of the lecture as it moves to the background. Adding to this is how the musical sting when Luz shows off her movie obscures what he says even further, making it even more of a intriguing puzzle that the creators clearly intended for viewers to pick up on and attempt to solve.

In contrast, the hidden dialogue of Hooty’s interview is much shorter and not as hard to decipher as the teacher’s history lesson, but at the same time, there are few to no indicators whatsoever in that scene to clue in the audience to even check for something like that. It comes at the end of an episode where most viewers would have been paradoxically tired out and driven abuzz by the revelations of Amity and Willow’s relationship, doesn’t attempt to draw much attention to itself, and frames itself as a comedic subversion of audience expectations with neither the “greatest witch who ever lived” or the self-proclaimed king of demons being picked by Gus.

Instead, he picks someone that the show portrays constantly as an oblivious and gullible idiot after being described as a “state of the art defense system” at the very beginning of the series. Someone who, despite it being played for laughs, is scarily capable of casually subduing Lilith offscreen one episode and then beating her and an entire squad of Emperor’s Coven members without even the slightest change in personality or temperament.

Someone who, due to being the Owl House itself, could be considered the titular character of the entire show, yet is taken for granted by those who inhabit him and barely gets any respect from even the cutely patronized King - including when Hooty could be interpreted as having potentially been full on DEAD for a time given the use of extremely cartoony X eyes and a lack of vital signs in The Intruder.

And someone who Eda at best tolerates and at worst abandons in personal interactions and only occasionally acknowledges him when he’s actually doing his job. Yet at the same time is so implicitly trusted beyondprotecting her home to the point where - when up against the closest person Eda has to an equal outside of likely Belos - the only actually recognizable spells Eda used in combat were 1) stereotypical energy blasts, 2) a single shield spell in Covention, and 3) a noticeably large reliance on imitations of Hooty above any other spells she could have decided to use instead.

In short, the show repeatedly tells us he is just an idiotic gag character through and through, but at the same time demonstrates he has immense power through both onscreen and offscreen demonstrations, implicitly tells us his importance ahead of time through Eda’s imitations in actually serious situations, and treats his interview and origin story as - if not even more- important to keep secret than a long lore dump about how Belos’ reign works.

After all, there being only two instances of hidden background dialogue in the entire season is already intriguing on its own, but for one to get plenty of clues to draw in people’s attention and for the other to be treated as just another gag about a “mere comic relief character” - aka a good way to draw away attention and lower one’s guard - heavily suggests a far deeper significance buried under layers of misdirection, comedy, and conditioned audience expectations.

I mean, when Eda bragged about being “a bad girl living in a secret fortress,” Hooty followed with a remark about how “I’m the secret.” While that line may sound like Hooty simply being confused as part of a one-off on the surface, it’s an odd dialogue choice for the writers to pick when you think about all the other reminders of his nature as the house itself throughout the season. With the precedent these moments set, it would have been much more appropriate for him to latch onto the “fortress” side of “secret fortress” AND it would have been just as equally funny of a joke about his awareness skills, but instead, Hooty broke away from the established trend to say something that would make people suspicious were it to come from anyone else.

In a way, this reminds me much of the many subtle bits of foreshadowing strewn across the show, like Luz unknowingly describing Amity in Witches Before Wizards and Eda burning a hole through Luz’s coven type quiz that coincidentally selected the same track she had taken at Hexside as “a punky potionist.” At the time of airing, these initially seemed like one-off jokes, but eventually came back in full force several episodes later with Amity’s hidden sensitive feelings and love for the Azura books becoming clear in Lost in Language, and the reveal of Eda’s school track in Something Ventured, Someone Framed with her school misdemeanor pictures.

That said, compared to these individual bits of minor foreshadowing, the jokes about Hooty in Understanding Willow appear to simply be the most obvious pieces in a giant puzzle, implicitly and outright telling attentive viewers that there’s a major mystery to be uncovered here.

In fact, I feel bold enough to say that we could be looking at a twist on a similar scale to that of the Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz and Stanford Pines twists in Steven Universe and Gravity Falls respectively, what with this particular puzzle piece coming from how Gus wanted to make THE greatest interview of all time, and how he was looking for someone who was “interesting, accomplished, AND noteworthy:”

Note the emphasis on the ‘and’ here, as Gus had made a big deal that “people aren’t meantto be all those things” at the beginning of the episode, so as a result, stripping away all the comedic framing of his subplot leaves the intriguing implication that whoever - and, perhaps, what- Hooty is, they really are the most interesting, accomplished, AND noteworthy person out of everyone.

I could go further and talk about why I suspect the mystery surrounding King’s origins, whether true or not, is partially meant to misdirect us from paying attention to Hooty, or how the TOH crew’s could be disguising legitimate clues to his nature among made up and highly meme-able joke answers in order to proliferate said concepts throughout the fandom - thus letting us do all the dirty work of getting ourselves used to the ideas and used to dismissing them at the same time - but to bring things to a close for now, I’d like to leave you all with a question that I’ll start answering next time:

What does it mean when both the most powerful and notorious witch on the Boiling Isles and the possible actual king of demons/the Titan itself/something don’t match up to a house? And what do you think it is that makes him so special to warrant such misdirection?

TLDR: Between Eda’s golem spells, the show stressing his nature as the titular house, his implicit strength, and the odd dialogue and structure of Understanding Willow‘s subplot in relation to him, I believe I have good reason to suspect the show has been giving us many hints towards Hooty being much, much more important than it would like us to currently believe or even joke about. Particularly, through clever uses of comedy to establish and enforce a strong audience bias against looking closely at him or unironically taking him seriously, and to potentially plant the seeds for something I will start exploring in Part 2.