#note i think he genuinely probably has some feelings for tama too.

[brawlqueen]

unpopular opinion but while i get how mentally unstable / ill ryuki is, i still get uncomfortable a bit with how people attribute that as his only character trait. not how he’s shy or gentle or outdated in his jokes, how he’s a kind person, how he works so so hard even if he’s clumsy socially -- how he genuinely is trying his best to live off the dream of his dead brother. it’s just these constant slew of jokes about how seriously ill he is and after contracting the tc-perge that only gets worse and we see that happening as we play as him on his route. 

we see ryuki get worse and worse until the six year time skip and he’s having hysterical fits; drinking himself to death at only 29 and as much as i adore boss it just feels.... lazy almost, that she just is written to just yes, give him off time, six years of it, but i feel like who genuinely were the most concerned on him as a person and not a pysncer / detective was obviously tama, the person and artificial intelligence literally living in his brain via nerves / left eye socket, date of course, who genuinely mentored him in and off work and probably was the most likely human wise to voice concerns to boss about his mental health? and thirdly, mizuki, who wants him to not work period, and tries to talk logic to him which doesn’t work - and aiba points this out, but even aiba says he’s ‘a real maintenance to work with’. these kind of themes genuinely made me sad and mizuki wasn’t the only character among the three,  date, mizuki, ryuki, that had various degrees of being sacrificed for the twists.

i guess to a point i get why we’re making so many / memes and jokes but i won’t go into that but. it still feels .... uncomfortable? because the entire time i’m playing yeah at first i’m like ‘oh hi what the hell here we go again mr. ryuki’ but then it morphs to like...genuine horror and concern and i do think that’s intentional. and i don’t even write the newest blorbo of ai. i just really want him to get therapy. please don’t get me started on what they did to date and mizuki either, as the date family aiba included, are my favorite things about the entire series. 

and believe it or not, while i don’t like the bibi twist, like her as a character, just not her in any relation to mizuki, but mizuki herself. mizuki date. she constantly is asking aiba if ryuki is ‘going to be okay’ and even before the timeskip after the explosion that took her left eye clean out? she asks boss in the opening of the game if she’s giving him /time off/ making you wonder how keenly focused mizuki is on him because he’s important to date, and while she’d never say it aloud unless it was serious and even /then/, that matters to her. and she’s a caring person. her tongue holds no mercy but she literally says:

“ boss, are you giving him vacation time ? “ i know as he’s the second protagonist because again, my portrayal i’m not even putting bibi in as a protag, i’d have to know a bibi to even try to make it make sense without spitting on mizuki’s individuality -- but like? these three people cared, noticed, hell the entire game is telling you something is not right with him, and because of protag plot armor, ryuki can’t really go to the hospital? and when tama begs him to go saying that ‘a god or a shrine or buddha etc isn’t going to heal your heart! ‘ and ryuki like what, checks in, BLACKS OUT, then by the forcing of the plot, tama HAS To let him leave, despite caring for him the MOST.

i know realistically we couldn’t have ryuki like --- be in the hospital the whole game in its entirety but like, i wish we had instead of mizuki post time skip asking aiba if he’s okay and aiba being like ‘we can’t worry about him’ but people treating his actions with less ‘i hope he doesn’t do anything stupid’ and more to ‘wow he’s really not okay maybe i should keep an eye on him and get him a counselor more break time’ would i don’t know just showing the cast actively cares about him with his extremely serious mental illnesses / disorders would mean a lot? because it’s just sad to watch even on this playthrough, that the majority of the cast is reacting like that. ryuki is so mentally unwell he can’t even remember that he betrayed abis siding with tearer, or that he shocked bibi with a g.un, causing her heart to worsen, or even little moments of where he blacked out.

instead i just see tons of jokes about it and it’s an uncomfortable feeling. i’d literally slam a button on a poll fifty times to get this fictional blorbo to therapy. i don’t even know where to begin with mizuki even getting therapy, she’s so traumatized it’s another matter entirely.

but he kind of felt like the punching bag of the game for an agent so skilled, and it’s sad that i personally, just me, mind you, felt only date, tama and mizuki were actively worried about his health condition.

[keroppidreams]

interrupting your daily dose of government assigning blorbos with tamagotchis to dump 🧋🍓lore featuring kin.tama arc. some thoughts under cut!

OK SO KIN.TAMA IS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE ARC IN GNTM (I cannot watch that one scene without bawling my eyes out rip) SO I'VE BEEN PRETTY EXCITED TO THINK ABOUT KLARA WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF IT. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO HERE WE GO:

Okay as sweet and ditzy Klara can be, she's in denial about how she feels about gin. 90% is due to her inexperience/unfamiliarity with romance. plus as my SI she has to embody the struggle i experienced while watching the show ("I dont like gin. hes an ass" -> 20 episodes later -> "I-I'M NOT FALLING FOR HIM OR ANYTHING...HES JUST OK..." -> 40 eps later -> lovey-dovey mode activated everything he appears). The other 10% is cause it's gin. hes a fucking menace to society. you know she'd get concerned looks if she admitted to someone that she LIKES-LIKES him. plus she probably lowkey worries that he'd make fun of her or something if she admitted it.

so imagine gin's surprise when he sees klara's interactions with kintoki and she's incredibly sweet to him (maybe too sweet). theres no bickering, no flustered outbursts, no awkwardness. they're getting along perfectly. there's fucking shoujo moments and everything. in other words, it's gin's relationship with klara but without the imperfections and quirks.

live gin reaction:

side note: he definitely turns petty af and does some over-the-top things every time kntk and klara have a shoujo:tm: esque moment.

"WHOOPS! MY FOOT SLIPPED!" *roundhouse kicks kntk in the face*

jokes aside, he definitely has mixed feelings about it. at some point he probably has a brief epiphany and realizes "fuck. is this jealousy?"

of course, he forces himself not to dwell on it for long due to the current situation and it's gin. hes going to try to not acknowledge for various reasons (particularly his shit self esteem and perception of self)

(she deserves better. what does he even have to offer? he's broke. lazy. haunted by the ghosts of his past--)

"...hm? Did you say something, Tama? Sorry I was thinking about the latest issue of JUMP."

As for Klara? She's definitely kind, but distant whenever she interacts with gin (at least until he starts trying to fight kin then she gets pissed). tho sometimes she gets random bouts of nostalgia whenever gin opens his mouth and brings up specific memories/events. then she starts feeling like she's missing something important...

So when she does snap out of the hypnotism and realizes what she has done (turn against gin and tried driving him out of town with the rest of the cast), she's definitely feeling guilty. a part of her feels awful and doesn't want to face him, but forces herself to do it anyways

even if shes crying and blubbering through her apologies even though gin isn't angry at her or anything.

of course that doesn't stop him from messing with her a bit once he helps calming her down by being like "y'know...you could make it up to me by buying me a par--"

klara, nyooming out of the place and returning in 5 seconds: H-hERE! ONE CHOCO PARFAIT!

dude definitely takes advantage of it the first couple of times, though soon knocks it off once he realizes that she genuinely feels guilty about the whole thing and is desperately trying to make it up to him

though after a couple days, things start to go back to normal and their routine of playful bickering and chaos starts to return. might not be perfect, but neither of them mind. it's the way it should be, and they wouldn't ever change it.

okay except the fact that theyre pining for the other and literally everyone and their dog can see it but thats an issue for another arc--

[lovetenya]

𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬: 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞

pairing: tamaki amajiki x gender neutral reader

warnings: one swear word and some emotional language, but it ends in comfort. no tamaki amajiki angst or slander allowed in my house. just fluff.

word count: about 1.5k

author’s note: i love you, tamaki amajiki. that’s why you get the honor of being dedicated my favorite color. mwwwwah.

being in love with tamaki amajiki is orange.

it’s warm, it’s passionate, it’s soft, it’s gentle.

it’s pure, genuine, and it feels like home.

it’s the light that comes through the window on the weekend, shining perfectly into your eyes.

 on a normal morning, there isn’t time to waste. he has to leave early, so he pulls on his underclothes, puts his coat on, and then leaves, since his suit and quirk-enhancing food is stored at the agency. mornings together don’t normally last longer than it takes him to lightly shake you awake and say “bye, honey. i hope you have a good day.” and give you a quick kiss.

orange is the juice he pours as soon as he wakes up, the one you taste when he kisses you, saying it’s “better than tasting my morning breath.” you’re not one to complain, especially not about getting kisses from tamaki. they usually make him flustered, so you’ll take as many as you can get.

today is different. though. it’s ten on a saturday morning and tamaki is right next to you, sound asleep. his tired eyes are closed and his expression is one lacking all tension, and full of peace.

he deserves it, you think, considering the night before. you had a meal ready for him when he got home late, but he barely even made it through that. his eyes drooped and his shoulders sagged while he ate, and he looked more pale than usual.

you suggested, “tama, do you wanna shower and then head to bed? we don’t have to stay up late just because it’s friday.” 

“sure, honey. that sounds nice,” he yawned, holding his head in his hands.

“i’ll clean up dinner and meet’cha in our room, okay?”

“okay...” he hopped off of his chair at the counter and made his way to your room to get undressed. within ten minutes, the dishes were done, but you didn’t hear tamaki start the shower. what’s he doing in there? you wondered.

you made your way toward the bedroom, not wanting to startle him or walk in on him changing. you knocked lightly on the door before asking “tamaki? are you okay?” 

when there was no response, you turned the doorknob and quietly opened the door to see your dear tamaki laying on the bed, fast asleep and fully dressed. he must’ve sat down to take off his bottoms and fell asleep. 

poor baby, you thought. i didnt realize he was that tired.

lightly, you walked to the side of the bed where he was lying on his back with his legs hanging off the edge. you moved his bangs away from his face and kissed his forehead sweetly. he looked so peaceful, but he couldn’t sleep in his work clothes. there’s no way that’s sanitary or comfortable. 

“tama, baby. sit up for me so we can take your clothes off and go to bed.”

“mm..” he whimpered, eyes still closed. he didn’t move.

“come on, bub. sit up, please. let’s get some pajamas on, okay?” a pair of pajama pants and an old t-shirt never sounded better to tamaki, even though he was still half-asleep.

“okay...” he sat up and sleepily hugged your torso, putting his cheek to your chest. you stood in front of where he was sitting, and he slowly raised his arms to let you peel off his underclothes and finish getting him undressed. you put the t-shirt over his arms, and he slowly pulled it down over his head and back. next, the bottoms. you grabbed a pair of boxers from his drawer and held them out to him.

“here, tama, put on some clean underwear. yours probably stink.”

“nuh-uh. m’not stinky. m’ just sleepy...”

“i’m just kidding, bub. change quick so we can go to sleep.”

he pulled on his boxers and pair of pajama pants, then got under the soft, smooth covers. you got your pajamas on (a peach-colored t-shirt and some shorts) then flicked off the light and layed down next to him.

his eyes were already shut and he was breathing lightly, so you assumed he was asleep. even though you really missed him this week, you didn’t want to bother him by grabbing his hand or trying to hold him.

“mmph.” he grunted, stirring softly. you didn’t reply, figuring he was just making noises in his sleep. he did the same thing one of the first times you shared a bed, but he was really embarrassed upon hearing about it, so you didn’t bring it up again.

again, he asserted, “mmm!!” but more displeased this time.

“what’s wrong, tama?” you asked. he rolled toward you.

“are you.. are you mad at me?” he asked weakly, desperately hoping that you’d say no. there were sleepy, fearful tears welling in his eyes, but he wasn’t conscious enough to care to hide them.

“not at all, baby, why would i be mad at you?”

“well.. you didn’t.. you didn’t even try to.. you’re not even..” he paused, trying to compose himself. you didn’t interrupt, knowing he’d make his point at his own pace. he always said what he meant eventually.

he continued, “you’re not even holding my hand.. and i just.. really missed you.. and.. i didn’t mean to.. make you upset by being gone this week but i just.. there were so many guys out there.. and i had to help ‘em.. and i’m sorry i didn’t come home until late but--” he couldn’t hold back his tears any longer, his long hours at work rendering him overtired and sensitive. the tears flowed down his face, and you quickly, but softly, reached out to him, bringing him closer.

“oh baby, i’m so sorry. i’m not mad at you.”

“y-you promise?”

“yeah, honey, i promise. c’mere. let me cuddle you.”

you moved over to him, pulling him close. with all the strength he could muster, he wrapped his arms around you, snuggling his head into your neck. you pet his hair gently, soothing him to sleep and reassuring him through soft kisses to his head. his anxiety-fueled cries turned to sniffles, which eventually turned to light snores.

he just really didn’t want to lose you. he didn’t think he could bear to go without you, and you felt the same way. you worried about him terribly while he was out, but never wanted to show him you were afraid for him. you knew he’d take on your emotions and then there’d be two crying lovers. 

you bottled up your emotions until you couldn’t handle it anymore, bursting into tears at the slightest change of tamaki’s tone of voice. these moments of emotional intensity often did end in both of you crying, and nights much like this, where you held each other impossibly close. letting go was out of the question.

—

tamaki was so tired this week because he had what can only be described as, well, a super shitty week, so fatgum gave him the weekend off. their conversation went like this:

“i don’t.. mean to be rude by disagreeing, but i just can’t take the whole weekend off. i need to be out there.. helping you.”

“no way, amajiki. what ya’ need is to rest. you can’t do your best work next week if ya’ don’t take a break this week, so go home and rest and then come back on monday ready to go.”

“but--”

“don’t make me call y/n! they’ll make you stay home!” fatgum warned, knowing you’d do exactly that.

tamaki sighed in defeat, “fiiiiiiine.” you’re the only person he’d willingly lose to, time and time again. if his defeat meant your victory, he was okay with losing.

—

orange is is the color of the terra-cotta pots that hold the herbs you planted on your balcony.

“they’re gonna taste so good once they grow! aren’t you excited?” you asked him, hands covered in dirt.

“yeah, if i don’t forget to water them and kill them first,” he deadpanned, tilting the watering can a bit too far and spilling it all over your shoes.

“tamaki!!” 

“sorry!!!”

—

orange is your perfect creation. it’s the bleeding together of your crimson red tenderness and his frail yellow anxiety. while you’re there to reassure him, and he’s always there to ground you, noticing the details you missed. you compliment each other in a way that creates something so much stronger, and can never be separated.

orange is the feeling in your heart when he says your name, whether he’s reminding you about that event he has coming up, or when he just wants to hear it breathlessly between kisses. he’ll never get enough of them. he’ll never get enough of you. 

orange is the always-growing warmth of his love, and it’s the glowing sparks of fire that fly between you. loving him is easy.

orange is the fluttering of eyelashes as you fall asleep together for the first time, it’s the wholehearted comfort cultivated over time, and it’s the countless pinky promises sealed with kisses. when his heavy heart needs uplifting, you promise to be there. orange is a promise you intend to keep.

—

thanks for reading!

love, tj. 🧋

—

link to my masterlist

[silvana-fangirls]

Good Mourning [KogKag]

Fandom:

InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale

Relationships:

Higurashi Kagome/Kouga

SUMMARY: After they destroyed Naraku and Kagome wished for the Shikon no Tama to disappear, it not only took the sorrow, pain and loss with it. But something Kagome thought was genuinely hers.

Chapter 1

(PLEASE READ NOTES AT THE END)

READ IT IN [AO3]

or below the cut

They told me once, "There's a place where love conquers all"  A city with the streets full of milk and honey  I haven't found it yet, but I'm still searching

- 'Good Mourning' Halsey.

Kagome’s chocolate eyes snapped open to be greeted by the well-known ceiling of the hut she’s been living in for the past three years.

Considering the situation, she probably should be waking up altered, dripping in sweat or maybe with her vision blurred by the tears.

But she didn’t, she was used to it by now. It’s been the same for the past three years. The exact same dream. Everyday.

It was over, finally over.

The spider was gone. Death was gone and so was the pain and the blood. Naraku was dead.

It usually started with relief.

Kagome got out of the futon, not even feeling the need to stretch or rub her tired eyes. They have been tired for long now, rubbing them won’t help.

She wished for the damned jewel to be gone. She had a lot to thank it for, yet the destruction it caused was far much worse than the good the gemstone did. She wanted nothing more than to get rid of damned thing.

Quietly, as most things she did, she made her side of the futon resting in the back of the small hut she supposed she should call home, dusting it off while not even sparing a glance at the unused side of it.

And suddenly, the Shikon no Tama was no more. It was gone.

Part of her had a hard time believing it. After all, everything about this time had something to do with it. She had to blink a few times to actually feel how the weight of its existence was suddenly leaving this world, this reality, for good.

She dusted off her usual miko uniform. Making once again, her daily wish to have something else to wear. Something that didn’t remind her so much of what the world was forcing her to be.

But, the jewel didn’t just leave taking all the innocent souls it claimed in the past, the sacrifices and spilled blood with it.

Kagome didn’t know how the ‘selection’ worked, but some of the victims came back. Not many, just enough for someone to count with their fingers.

Kagome walked out of her hut, sunlight greeting her as soon as she set a foot outside.

She came back, but it didn’t matter. Kagome didn’t know why, but it just didn’t. Back in the day, she thought that her lack of worry about the dead priestess return was due to the fact that she was sure that InuYasha had made up his mind already. That he chose her, not Kikyō. That he loved her, and not Kikyō.

A few children were already running around the village, laughter surrounding them as they played.

“Good morning, Lady Kagome!” Several of them greeted.

“Good morning, kids” She greeted back with a smile she supposed didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Thought, her lack of care was because Jewel also took something else when it left this world, not just the sorrow and pain.

That part of soul that wasn’t even hers to begin with also left her body that day. Detaching everything forgein from everything Kagome. Including feelings she believed were genuinely hers, but truly weren’t.

She didn’t notice anything at first.

She silently walked to the stream that flowed just a few meters behind the hut. The sound of running water always relaxed her. It filled the dull silence that was constantly surrounding her.

Silence brought sorrow, and while the soft sound of the stream couldn’t get her completely away from her thoughts, it prevented them from getting worse... so she welcomed it.

She remembers feeling such relief that it was making her tear up. Her face felt like it could split in two from the big smile on her face. Her friends felt the same.

Everything was over. The time for being nothing but happy had finally arrived.

Or so she thought?

“Kagome...” she felt a light yet electrifying touch on her right shoulder “Can we talk?”

Kagome snapped shut her eyes so tightly, desperately trying to get those icy blue eyes out of her mind. It was too early for her ghost to be clouding her mind already. Yet again, no matter what, he always haunted her.

That handsome wolf-demon ghost. It was her life companion by now.

Part of her despised it, part of her loved it.

“Kagome!” A well-known voice said behind her.

Kagome splashed a bit of water on her face, and turned to her friend with her typical small, empty smile that has also become a part of her daily uniform.

“Morning, Sango” She said, drying her hands off on her clothing.

“Morning” Sango said as she caught up to her where she was standing. “I was waiting for you to join us on breakfast” Sango added, same cloud of worry in her eyes, as always.

Breakfast together... or more like, every meal together. That’s also something that turned out to be one of the many routines in Kagome’s life.

Sango and Miroku had made it a goal of them to have Kagome eat with them every time, in hopes for her to feel ‘less lonely’... they didn’t tell her that of course. They just masked their obvious concerns about her with excuses like that.

Kagome appreciates their effort, but ... She didn’t want to escape loneliness in the first place.

Kagome nodded at Sango with a smile. “I was just washing myself before joining you” She explained, making Sango smile in relief.

As they made their way to Kaede’s hut, where they usually had their meals, Kagome glanced at the Eastern Mountains, barely visible from the village, sending her daily and silent good morning.

X

“Good morning, Lady Kagome” Miroku greeted, already sitting on his usual place, waiting for breakfast while Lady Kaede continued to stir the breakfast stew. “Did you sleep well?”

Kagome smiled at his usual every day question, already making her way to her usual spot.

“I did, Miroku, thank you for asking” Kagome said as she sat down. “Morning, Lady Kaede”

“Good morning, child” The old lady greeted with a smile.

Kagome observed as Sango sat down right besides Miroku, gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek to then pull closer the make-shift nursery that currently carried their new-born daughter.

It’s been barely a month since little Aimi joined them. Sango and Miroku tried really hard to have a baby ever since they got married, that was about four months after defeating Naraku. Anyone would expect them to have five kids by now, but it wasn’t the case. Sango wasn’t as fertile as everyone hoped her to be, but she never gave up and after years of trying, Aimi was the little blessing that came to their world.

Kagome couldn’t help but look at Sango’s little but loving family with yearning. It made it even worse that Shippo decided to join a group of young kitsunes about a year ago… Kagome missed him a lot.

“Will InuYasha join us for breakfast, child? He’s taking his time” Kaede said, and Kagome could feel everyone flinch.

She silently wondered why they were still flinching at it, considering the fact that Kaede made the exact same question a couple of times a week. Much to her sadness, Lady Kaede started to show symptoms of Alzheimer a few months ago. She was nearing her seventies now and even if people’s life range was way higher in this era, age was catching up to her and fast. No one understood what was going on at first. The first time Lady Kaede askedthat question, Sango was so bewildered and angered by it she nearly started to scream at her in Kagome’s defense, considering it was a cruel and malicious question to make.

It took her a few days to realize what was happening, but the pieces finally fell on place in front of Kagome. Lady Kaede was sick.

She explained that to Sango and Miroku, that had a hard time understanding this ‘sickness’ and asked them to be gentle with their old friend.

“I don’t think so, Lady Kaede” Kagome answered, her smile intact.

It was the truth.

“Why not? He usually joins us even if he pretends he doesn’t like it” Kaede said again, now passing through bowls of stew to each of them.

‘He used to... two and a half years ago’

“This smells delicious, Lady Kaede” Sango said, trying to change the subject.

“Yes, delicious indeed” Miroku added.

“I can save him some stew if you want, Lady Kaede” Kagome said reassuringly. Lady Kaede nodded at her with a small smile.

“Is anything in for today? Do you need help with anything, Lady Kaede?” Miroku asked.

“Don’t worry yourself, monk. Just the usual” Kaede said while sipping some of her stew. “Ever since Naraku died nothing really happens. So just a few prayers with the villagers for today. Kagome and I will take care of some few ill villagers and if Sango doesn’t mind, someone looking after the young will be useful as well”

“Of course, Lady Kaede” Sango said and Miroku nodded in agreement.

If Kagome was perfectly honest, she never showed any desires to be a doctor. Not in her modern time, and also not here. Sure, she was usually the one patching the wounds of her friends back when they hunted for jewel shards, because she wanted to contribute to the team and feel useful, there was little to nothing she could do back in the day, when she still didn’t have much control over her powers... and while helping others brought some joy to her life, she rather do it in any other way. But, it was her ‘destiny’. She was a priestess reincarnation, reincarnation of one of the most powerful ones at that, so she was to be a priestess.

“Do we have a flu growth, Lady Kaede?” Kagome asked, and Kaede made the same face she always made when Kagome used some of her modern terms.

“Just a few Autumn symptoms” Kaede simply said. “Spring is about to be over and it looks like we have a cold winter ahead of us. The change of weather is already affecting some of us. We should also start stocking herbs from now on, make sure we don’t miss anything during winter” Kaede said having Kagome a pointed look.

“Sure thing” She said at the task, trying not to groan in annoyance.

At least she’ll have something to distract her from the ghost of icy blue eyes.

X

Kagome spent most of the day tending allergy symptoms and stocking medicinal herbs. It was almost 3 p.m judging by the sun position and the shadows when Kaede finally set her ‘free’ for the day. So, she decided to trade some of her medicinal self made concoctions for some fabric, to try and attempt to make something else to wear other than the priestess outfit.

Her back was facing the hut’s entrance when someone came in.

“Hey” A familiar voice called to her. Familiar, yet so different from what it once sounded like.

Was it his voice that changed, or was it her?

“Hey” She simple replied, not even turning to look at him. “You missed breakfast... and lunch. There’re some leftovers near the fire” She pointed out, eyes still not looking looking at him, just focusing on her stitching.

“Sorry, I was... patrolling last night, just in case there’s any demons around, ya know?” He poorly excused.

‘“Demons around” yeah, right’ Kagome thought. There has been no ‘demons around’ since Naraku died, asides from pretty young, foolish and lame demons that were still too young to know anything. Because, what demon in their right mind would ever dare to disturb the village of the people that destroyed the evilest demon to ever live? Or any nearby village for the matter?

“It’s fine” Kagome just replied. She didn’t care. She didn’t care he‘s been out almost all day and all night for about two and a half years now. In fact, it was a relief. She couldn’t even look at him. Seeing his face just brought so much anger to the surface, so much impotence.

She’d rather not see him at all.

“... Okay” InuYasha said. “Does Kaede needs any help around here?”

“No” Kagome replied way too fast. She just wanted this conversation to be over. “We’re all done for the day, so don’t worry”

“Right” InuYasha said awkwardly “Do you need help with anything?”

She resisted the urge to groan.

It was unfair to blame him. Because at the end of the day, he’d been fooled as much as she was. It wasn’t his fault, at all. But she couldn’t help but resent him.

“No” She said, getting up and placing her unfinished work in one of the makeshift tables she made, in one of her several desperate attempts to make this hut resemble something like the place that was actually her home. “I’m gonna go by the Goshinboku” She said, finally looking at him.

She always gave him a warning whenever she was going to visit the sacred tree. She didn’t want any unpleasant encounters in the forest... and she was sure that InuYasha didn’t want that either.

“Okay” He replied, already fidgety in urges to get out of the hut. “I’ll be pratrolling tonight again, so...”

“It’s fine” Kagome cut him off, finally making her way out of the hut and towards the forest.

After minutes of walking on her own, she finally stood in front of the sacred tree. A tree that brought her equals amounts of pain and and equal amounts of happiness.

Three years ago, she’ll look at it thinking that this was a destined place for her. Here’s where she saw InuYasha for the first time. Here’s where she broke his seal and let him free. Here’s were all this journey begun. Here’s where her younger self thought she found the love of her life.

‘Love of a life, just not mine’

She kind of despised it now. This tree deceived her. It was one of the many things that did. Deceived her into believing something that was certainly not hers.

But it brought her happiness, too. This tree was the only connection to her family now. The family that was 500 years in the future away from here. The time she’s been locked out of. The true home she’s been locked out of.

Kagome went down on her knees, positioning herself an arms length away from the sacred tree, looking down at a spot of brown soil in the middle of all the rich green grass.

She started digging in, hands and nails getting dirt all over, until her fingers made contact with something solid. Dusting off some soil that was over it, she began removing a wooden box out of the ground.

She opened the box carefully, making sure no dirt got inside of it, and pulled out a little paper scroll out of her clothing, to then put it inside the box. Then, she closed the box and proceeded to bury it back in the same place.

She didn’t even know if they were getting them... all these letters. They could easily miss them but it was the only way she thought of communicating with her family... or at leastsort of. After all, it was a one way street.

Ever since figuring it out, she needed so desperately to talk to her mom, to feel her comfort, to hear her say everything will be okay. To hear her say that she didn’t deserve this, she didn’t deserve being so brutally used. That it wasn’t fair, but she’ll be okay anyways. She couldn’t talk to anyone here. As much of a good friend Sango was, Kagome didn’t feel ready to talk her about this. Maybe she’ll never be ready.

So, after so much time of thinking about a solution to find some kind of hope to just let her mother know she was okay, to let her know what was going on around her, to let her now she was alive, and that she didn’t left them hanging, that she so desperately wanted to return to her home... She finally came up with this.

She engraved her name right in the center of the Goshinboku, where InuYasha was once sealed, and found a box to bury in and protect letters that she hoped her mom would read. After all, the sacred tree was still very much alive in her time.

She only hoped her mom would see her name engraved on it, and discover the letters of long lost daughter that were bury beneath it.

She could only pray for it.

The box was already filled with tons of little scrolls by now, since she wrote her mother once a week. At first she had a lot to tell her, but now it was almost all the same. She wrote to her anyways, after all it was the one thing that brought her comfort in this place where she didn’t belong.

“Sure, Kouga... What is it?”

She closed her eyes tightly again.

“Stop it, Kagome” She whispered to herself. She thought she should’ve more control about her own thoughts by now, having it been three years and all. But everything regarding what haunted her daily remained like the very first day when she figured it all out.

She figured this was some sort of karma... of punishment. Punishment for not listening to him back then. Punishment for dismissing him so rudely without even considering thinking about what he said.

While she blamed the world for this, or whatever Kami was up there... She blamed herself equally.

“I need to ask you something... and you gotta be honest with me”

Kagome stood up abruptly from where she was kneeling.

She needed to get back to the village. Back to the distraction, back to where she could partially escape from her daily, unbearable torture.

With hurried steps, and while mentally describing in detail everything she was seeing in order to push her thoughts away, she finally made it to the very center of the village.

It wasn’t even a minute before the first villager approached her to lay his concerns on her. This was the way it was. Part of Kagome always screaming for her to find a more secluded space so people won’t ask for her to fix their own issues, and the other part begging for any kind of distraction. Dealing with other people’s mundane problems helped with that, even when she wanted to run far away, memories where far more painful that dealing with chores she didn’t want to.

It was nearly 6:30 p.m. when she was finally done. People where already making dinner for themselves and getting ready to dose off for the day so they didn’t need her anymore. And while she wanted to escape from her past for most of the day, she always went back to it around this time... when she sat down at the entrance of her hut, looking at the orange and pink hues in the sky, as the sunset washed the Eastern Mountains.

She had to say ‘Good Night’, always. Because when the dark night sky hid the mountains away from her view, she felt even more alone in this world than she normally felt. ‘Good Night’ meant ‘See you tomorrow’, and tomorrow meant hope. Hope for it to get better. Hope for him to come back to her.

She had to say ‘Good Night’ because if she said nothing it’ll mean ‘Goodbye’ and she couldn’t, for the life of her, say goodbye to him. It’ll destroy her. It’ll turn her into what once Kikyō was: a walking corpse. Not entirely dead, not entirely alive.

“Here you are” Sango’s voice quietly said, as she sat down besides her, eyeing the Eastern Mountains as well.

Kagome allowed herself to smile slightly at her friend’s comment.

“I’m always here around this time” She said just as quietly. “You already know that”

Sango turned to look at her, and while Kagome’s eyes where set and unmoving from the Eastern Mountains, she could feel the concern they held.

“Kagome, can we please talk?” Sango said, pleading.

“What about?” Kagome’s small smile remained intact.

“I thought... I thought you trusted me” Sango said, voice almost cracking. It was only then when Kagome turned to her friend. She meant well, and Kagome loved her dearly. Hurting her was the last thing she wanted.

“I do trust you, Sango. There’s just nothing to talk about” She tried to reassure her, placing her hand on hers.

Sango eyed her hand on hers, and her eyes meet Kagome’s once more, looking even more hurt than before.

“You know...” She started. “It might’ve took me about three years... but I figured it out” Kagome’s only reaction was to slightly drop her smile. “How your eyes look so sad all the time, how you always try to make this place look at least a little like your old home, how you don’t get jealous about them anymore...” Sango cited. “And how you always come here around the same time... to look at the Eastern Mountains” Kagome said nothing “It reminds me of that day? You know?” Sango said, taking a deep breath to get ready for what she was about to say. “When he said that your feelings for InuYasha-“

“Stop” Kagome interrupted her abruptly. Tears already stinging her eyes.

It was the first time, the first time in years that someone else talked about him. About that day. About that conversation.

It was too much.

Sango’s eyes filled with pity once she confirmed her suspicions to be true. Part of her couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe this was the reason of her best friend’s despair.

“Oh, Kagome” She said, now her hand holding hers. Tears almost stinging we eyes as well. “What happened? Why haven’t you told me?”

“He was right, Sango” Kagome nearly sobbed. “He was right about it all”

The tears couldn’t be stopped now. Tears that she held for so long... as her mind cruelly replayed that day. The day she would take back and do over if she was given the possibility.

“Of course, Kouga. You know I’m always honest with you” Kagome said, moving her hand to rest it over his chest plate in assurance.

She always found herself drawn to touch him, from the very first day they met.

Sango once told that wolf demons were very physical. They were brute with words, so they resorted to touch a lot to express their feelings better. Reason why Kouga was always touching Kagome even in the more subtle ways.

Was that the reason why she always responded to his touch? Or why she felt drawn to touch him to? To help him understand better? To communicate better with him?

Kouga nodded once, and gently grabbing her by the hand, he guided her to a more secluded space. A safe distance from InuYasha’s hanyou’s ears, to be more specific. InuYasha, who was currently reuniting with the resurrected priestess.

For some reason, Kagome didn’t feel the common surge of jealousy... but it was because InuYasha already chose her. Not Kikyō.

“This might be a bit difficult for you to understand” He started, and he looked really nervous. Something that Kouga was not.

It made her worry. They’ve just won. Some innocent people were brought back. Naraku was dead... so why was he looking like he was about to deliver some gruesome news?

“But you have to listen to what I’ve to say, and you gotta be honest, okay?” He said again, almost pleading her.

“What is it, Kouga? You’re starting to worry me” She said with a nervous laugh, hoping to ease some of the worry building up in her tummy.

“The jewel is gone, Kagome” Kouga said, icy blue eyes looking straight at hers, telling her that whatever he wanted to say to her was serious.

“... Yeah” She said her voice wavering just the tiniest bit.

In the back of her mind she had a faint idea of what this must be about. The jewel was gone and perhaps Kouga thought she didn’t need to accompany InuYasha anymore... which was always her excuse whenever the ‘You’re my woman so you must be by my side’ conversation came by. Every time Kouga brought it up, she’ll say that since she broke the jewel in the first place, her duty above everything else was to fix it. Only once she told him she was in love with InuYasha, when they first met and never again.

Dread bubbles inside her at what was to come. There were no excuses now. So, if Kouga was to ask her to finally run away with him, there was no other thing to do but reject him... for a real reason this time.

Why was she so afraid? Was she afraid to anger him? Or lose him? ... if she rejected him... they’ll surely remain friends, right? They must.

The sudden possibility of loosing Kouga was already terrifying her.

“And, everything it caused... the pain, the loss... it took it all away, too” Kouga continued.

“Y-Yeah, it brought some of the innocent back, too” Kagome added with a smile trying to keep her trembling voice on bay.

“Yeah... most notoriously certain someone” Kouga added, and it was only then when his eyes briefly left hers to focus on the dead priestess that was still reuniting with InuYasha.

Kagome said nothing to the obvious mention of the now not-dead priestess.

“Kagome...” He said again, eyes returning to hers. “Ever since I fell completely in love with you, I found that there was something just... weird about you”

Kagome was a bit taken aback. What was that supposed to mean? Was it because she came from the future? Kouga already knew that, though... it came up, one day. It was a pain to try and make him understand but he did in the end. Why was he pointing this out, though? She remembers very distinctly that he told her that it didn’t matter to him, they were gonna ‘make it work’ or whatever... she just laughed nervously at him back then.

“...Okay?” She said.

Or maybe he was the one doing the rejection? Was he gonna tell her he didn’t love her anymore? Or that it was all a joke? To piss of InuYasha? Why did that thought made her feel hurt, though?

“And I’m not talking about, you know... where you come from and all that” He cleared up.

That was a relief... but if it wasn’t about that then what was it?

“There was something weird about you” He said, and it made even less sense than before. “About your scent, and your aura...” Kagome visibly flinched a step back at this. Not knowing if it was something bad or not, and scared to figure it out. “About your soul”

Kagome blinked a few times, trying to make sense at whatever he was saying.

“Kouga I-“ She tried to say “I don’t understand what you’re trying to say”

Kouga sighed in an almost exasperated way, but more at himself than her.

“I just-“ He was trying to find the words, she knew that. And in an attempt to make him express himself better, the hand resting on his chest plate traveled to the skin of his arm, hoping the contact would help him find the words he was seeking.

It seemed to help, because once Kouga’s eyes peeked at her small hand resting on his arm, he looked back at her more confidently. “Your scent, Kagome.” He started “I know exactly what it smells like. Lavenders and vanilla, right after the dew. I’d recognize it anywhere. I have it burnt in my memory”

That made her blush, profusely. The hand resting in his arm slipped a bit, now barely touching him.

“Your aura? Feels like the first day of spring. Like the sun in your skin when it’s still cold in the shadows.”

“K-Kouga” She stuttered out, too flustered to continue to touch him.

“And your soul?” Kouga continued, ignoring her obvious state of embarrassment. He continued, looking at her like he could actually see her soul. “It feels like the wind on my face when I run, with the full moon shining over me” He said, and this time it was his hand resting on her arm. “It feels mine”

Kagome was about to explode. Her heart was beating on her hears and her stomach felt like an entire zoo was inside it.

“K-Kouga I..”

“But” He interrupted her “There’s a hint of mint and herbs on your scent, that just doesn’t mix with the rest” She blinked in confusion at this. “Your aura has a hint of the coldest day of winter. When everything is covered under snow” He continued. “And your soul, just the smallest part of it. Feels like a day of pouring rain, when wolf demons hate running”

Kagome was looking at him bewildered. What was he trying to say? That she was perfect BUT had a tinge of ugly in her? That she was amazing BUT in the end not so much?

“Kouga, I don’t get anything you’re saying” she said honestly, and maybe even a little offended.

“What I’m saying, Kagome, is that there’s something that’s definitely not yours about you. Or at least there was”

What the hell.

“That’s making even less sense” She said, a little irritated already.

Kouga was irritated as well, and nervous.

“Kagome, you once told me you were that priestess reincarnation” Kouga said, and Kagome nodded at this getting even more irritated at his words. What the heck does Kikyō has to do with this anyways? “You told me, that you shared her soul”

“What does this has to do with anything?” Kagome asked rather impatiently.

“You didn’t share her soul, Kagome” Kouga said. “Her soul was inside you, and part of it remained once she became undead. But there never was just one soul”

“I still don’t understand what’s your point?” Kagome was loosing her patience.

“When you destroyed the jewel, and she resurrected, she took her soul back. Her entire soul. There’s not a single trace of it on you now”

Kagome took a few seconds to reply, digesting the information she was just given.

“Well that’s a relief! Isn’t it?” She said.

“Of course it is, but... how do you feel now?” Kouga asked, and he had hope in his eyes.

“What kind of question is that?” Kagome was starting to reply not-so nicely. She was confused, and irritated, and she didn’t understand what he was trying to point out.

“Look, Kagome. It was clouding you” Kouga just spilled out. He was trying to be as patient as he could so she could digest the information and understand what he was trying to say but she was not connecting the dots at all. “Her soul. I could see it. It was clouding yours”

“What the hell is that even supposed to mean?!”

She was afraid... and nervous. She didn’t understand anything but by the look of Kouga’s eyes, whatever ‘clouding’ mean was not good.

“It means that her soul was controlling some parts of your life.” He finally spilled out, almost as irritated as her. “I’m pretty sure the reason you had her soul in the first place was because of the jewel. But your feelings, your thoughts? All hers. I could see it. I could see it clouding you.”

Kagome took a moment to finally understand what he was getting at. Her eyes were wide as plates, bewildered... because there was no way in hell Kouga was doing this to her.

“And InuYasha?” He continued. “He was drawn to you because of the dead miko’s soul”

“Shut up” Kagome whispered, astonished.

“I know it’s hard, Kagome. But you need to try and realize! Just think about it all and you’ll be able to tell that it was never really you-“

“SHUT UP!!” She shrieked, tears already blurring her sight.

She couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe someone would do that to her, much less Kouga. Lie to her like that. Try to trick her just to have her? She thought the world of him. She knew he had a crush on her, but this?!

“You know I’m telling the truth, Kagome” He said, trying to calm her down “Deep down, you know” He tried to touch her but she flinched away instantly.

“Don’t touch me!” She hissed, face full of rage.

“Kagome-“

“No!” She cut him off. “Seriously Kouga, out of all people, I’d never thought you’ll be able to do this!!” She was crying now, screaming and crying. “To make up some shit like this just to try and get me to be with you?!”

“I’m not making anything up!!” He growled back at her.

“Seriously?! I thought you were my friend! I thought you cared about me!” She shrieked at him.

“I DO!” He shouted. “I do! I do care about you more than anything in this world!”

“And you actually expect me to believe something like that?” Kagome ignored what he said. “How would you even know if my feelings are mine or not?!”

“For fuck’s sake!! I’m a demon, Kagome! Of course I know!”

“Then how come InuYasha doesn’t know?!”

“Did you hear what I said?? I’m a demon, he’s not!”

“Stop it, Kouga!” She said and looked at him with furious eyes. “I love InuYasha” she said, making him flinch at the statement. “I love him, so much” she added. “There’s just no way these all consuming feelings aren’t mine” she said. “I love him, and I always will”

Kouga’s eyes flashed pain for a moment, before they turned cold.

“I can see right though you, Kagome. I can see your true feelings, I’d always have. Why do you think I’m still pursuing you even when ‘you’ are so in love with the mutt?” He asked her, and Kagome tried so hard not to blush under his piercing eyes. “What happens once you finally realize I’m telling the truth? You’ll come running for me? Begging me to take you?”

The slap hurt him considerably even if it was delivered by a human woman, and the noise it made was enough for everyone to hear, even from the safe distance they were from the others.

“I hate you” Kagome hissed out, tears running down her face while her hand trembled in sure pain.

It was like someone pierced through Kouga’s heart.

“Kagome-“ he tried to apologize. What he said was out of line. And the sight of her right now was enough to want to beat himself to death.

“Don’t!” She cut him off again. “I mean it” She said, her voice shaky and her eyes clearly lying. “The lengths you’ll go to get what you want. Making this whole shit up, you’re just so fucking selfish!” She cried out “I really thought you cared about me” she added with a dry laugh, shedding more tears. “I don’t want to see you ever again” she whispered, voice trembling all the way through.

It was like Kouga was being slapped again, because he took a step back at her words.

“You can’t possibly mean that-“

“I DO!” She shrieked at him again. “I don’t want to see you ever again, Kouga. Ever!”

Kouga stood in shock for a few moments, watching her angry, crying face in disbelief. He just couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

He never in his life lied to her. Not even when he kidnapped her.

He would never lie to her.

He couldn’t believe she thinks he’ll do such thing.

He couldn’t believe she thinks he’ll purposely hurt her.

“Fine” He said, stone voice. If she truly believed he was like that, then fine. “Whatever you wish, Kagome” he added, and she looked at him surprised at his reaction.

Maybe she thought he’ll ask for forgiveness, or put up a fight to prove he’s right. Because he never gave up on her before.

But he won’t.

It didn’t matter anymore, though.

“Just remember when you realize I’m telling the truth, that I won’t come back for you” and with that he left.

Kagome sobbed at the painful memory.

True to word, Kouga never returned.

At that time, she thought that they just had a fight. That he’ll return, like he always did, no matter what. With some pretty wild flowers in his hands, and that charming smile she loved so much. She was sure. It was just a fight. Friends fought every once in a while. He would return.

But he never did.

And true to word, he was right. About everything.

Instead of the marriage Kagome always dreamed of, she had a mating ceremony, almost as soon as they arrived to Kaede’s village.

That night, the night that was supposed to be the best night of her life, the night she gave herself to InuYasha completely, the night he marked her as his, the night he chose her... the fireworks never came.

It was lacking, empty.... in every sense of the world. InuYasha seemed to feel the exact same, because she looked as confused as her.

She blamed it to the stress. To the many emotions of defeating Naraku, to the stress free life they weren’t used to, to the loss of Kouga.

She was distracted, that was it. The fireworks will come, the butterflies in her belly will flutter again, the blush in her cheeks will burn like it always did. She was just distracted.

Maybe she needed to talk to her mom, she thought. Deliver the good news:

The defeat of Naraku and her Mating ceremony.

Except, that when she tried to, she couldn’t go through the well.

She cried that night... and the next one... and the next one. She cried so much. She screamed and kicked and begged and cursed. Her heart was broken in a million pieces. And for some reason, InuYasha’s reassurance that she had him for the rest of her life was absolutely not enough. Even though she always knew that if she were to choose between InuYasha and her family she’ll pick him.

If she could turn back in time, she’ll make another choice.

She told Sango instead. She told Sango what happened between her and Kouga, trying to find at least a bit of comfort in her best friend.

Then the nightmares started.

At first they were foggy, she could barely make what was going on. But the icy blue eyes? Always crystal clear. Always present.

InuYasha got distant. Rumors about Kikyō living in the forest started to arise, and so did InuYasha’s idea about ‘patrolling’ even if they hadn’t had a demon’s attack ever since Nakaru’s dismissal.

Sango was suspicious, and Kagome couldn’t find herself to care.

The realization of her true feelings came exactly a year later.

She tried, she tried so hard. She tried to remember the ‘cute’ moments she had with InuYasha, the meaningful moments. She hoped she would swoon at the memory, or at least feel a shadow of what her younger self felt back then.

But it all seemed empty and just... wrong. She could remember every single moment clearly, but it felt like she wasn’t actually there when it happened. It felt like she was a spectator, a third person watching a scene. It felt like the memories didn’t even belong to her.

She tried to focus on them, but they seemed foreign... and her mind seemed to drift to other memories instead. Memories of icy blue eyes. Memories that had her blushing like a school girl, even if she could swear that was not how she felt back in the day, yet... it all seemed to had happened just like that.

The dreams continued.

Her mating mark disappeared.

She couldn’t pinpoint exactly when, because she hardly ever looked at it to begin with. Looking at the two twin marks made her nauseous, and made her feel so dirty she wanted to wash her body until it bled. Until there was another scar replacing the two twin marks.

She excused her feelings towards it by blaming herself for relating the day of her mating ceremony to the day she lost her entire family.

She asked Sango about it. Was it because she was human, and not a demon? Or because she was a Miko and her powers were developing at a fast pace? (All she did was train, anyways. A perfect excuse to stay out of the hut, and away from.... never mind)

Sango looked heartbroken at the question. She held her hands, ever so tenderly, and explained that when a mating mark disappeared, it only meant two things: either your mate is dead or has taken another mate.

InuYasha was not dead, she new that much.

Kagome’s only reply was ‘Oh’.

While InuYasha kept on ‘patrolling’, Kagome kept on dreaming. More clearly each day.

Being near InuYasha was making her feel somewhat ill.

He felt guilty, she could make that out. He was trying to spend more time with her, but they seemed to draw each other apart like same poles of a magnet. It was uncomfortable. It was almost unbearable.

The same icy blue eyes kept on visiting her every night.

She figured out how to let her family know about her. Know about what happened. Sort of.

It’s been almost a year, and she couldn’t imagine how much despair her mother must be feeling. She needed to let her now she was alive, or at least try to.

And she figured it out.

It was when she wrote her first letter, that the truth came like a lighting falling right on her.

Right after telling her mother that she was alive and well, and that she missed her dearly and wished nothing but to be home with them, she mentioned him.

And kept on talking about him.

It was once she read the finished letter that she realized.

How or why she even started to talk about him, she didn’t have a clue.

But 90% of the letter was him. And how sorry she felt for blowing him off like she did, and the mean words she said.

And how much she missed him.

...Her mother barely knew about Kouga.

She started hyperventilating. Shaking so bad that she couldn’t keep herself on her feet. Her knees gave up as the letter felt to the floor, and she cried. So much. So hard.

Sango found her like this, inconsolable. She tried to calm her down for like what seemed hours, and once she finally did, she couldn’t find it in her to tell her the truth.

She told her she missed her mother (which wasn’t a lie) and that she found a way to let her know she was fine.

Sango understood, and didn’t ask any more questions.

After that, the resentment at life, at the Shikon no Tama, at Kikyō, at InuYasha and at basically all, started.

She was used. Used by a cursed jewel. Deceived.

She knew that if Kikyō’s soul remained where it belong, she probably would’ve returned home the minute she set a foot in the past... and Damn it all.

She also knew that was a lie.

She would’ve returned anyways, and she would’ve helped anyways. But all that heartbreak? All that pain? All that love triangle bullshit that she went through? None of it would’ve happened.

Her own feelings were overshadowed by a foreign soul. And so did ‘InuYasha’s ‘feelings’ for her.

None of it was real, and she lost Kouga for it.

“Kagome please, calm down” Sango begged as she hugged her tightly. She was so lost in her memories it felt like she blacked out momentarily.

“It wasn’t me, Sango!” Kagome cried out. “It wasn’t me and he knew, and yet he chose to wait for her damned soul to finally leave me. He waited for me while Kikyō’s soul pinned over InuYasha” Kagome cried again. “And then I didn’t even hear him out. I kicked him out of my life thinking he’ll return someday”

“I’m so sorry, Kagome” Sango said, not sure what to do. While she suspected Kagome’s state was Kouga related, she could’ve never fathom anything like this!

“He’ll never come back for me” Kagome said. “He told me so”

“I bet he’s just really hurt” Sango said trying to confort her. “Maybe you should be the one seeking him out this time”

Kagome wiped away her tears with her sleeves.

“It’s been three years” She whispered. “He’ll never forgive me”

“You don’t know that, Kagome” Sango said, rubbing her back. “You’ll never know if you don’t try” She added. “I’m not gonna say he’s gonna forgive you right away. It might be difficult” She explained. “But I never knew you for someone who gave up so easily” She said with a teasing smile, and Kagome allowed herself to chuckle at the comment.

“How do I even get to him?” Kagome sniffed. “I’d die trying to climb those mountains”

Sango smiles at this.

“Kilala hasn’t had a good flight in years” She said, smirking at her. “I’m pretty sure she won’t mind”

Nervousness bubbled in Kagome’s stomach. She didn’t know if this was the right choice.

But if you never try, you never know... right?

Her chocolate eyes settled on the Eastern Mountains one more time, before the sun finally disappeared, hiding them completely from her view.

Maybe today she won’t say ‘Good Night’ but ‘See you soon’.

A.N.:

So... that was longer than expected.

Anyways, I finally finished writing this chapter, and I'm so excited to finally post this.

See, this is a very old theory of mine, something that I just can't ignore.

What if Kagome's feelings for InuYasha are truly Kikyo's?

Hear me out. I have may reasons why to believe this lol

We know that Kagome and Kikyo 'share' a soul... and yet when Kikyo dies, her soul goes to heaven (I assume) and Kagome's soul remains. So, what I believe is that Kagome had Kikyo's soul until that demon witch brought her back, and Kikyo managed to steal part of her soul back. We also know (I'm pretty sure this is canon) that the part of soul Kikyo steals from Kagome is the angry, betrayed and vengeful part of it. So, what if Kagome has the happy part of it? the part that's in love with InuYasha? The part that wants to have a happy ever after with him? Also, from day 1 InuYasha was attracted to Kagome only due to the fact that she reminded him of Kikyo... and he chose Kikyo over Kagome more times that we can count. He only settled for Kagome once Kikyo died. what if his attraction towards Kagome is slightly more deeper than just looks? What if it has to do with the fact that Kagome has part of Kikyo's soul inside her? And the last thing: Kagome doesn't take crap from anyone, yet no matter how many times InuYasha fcks her over she barely even gets mad at him. it just seems so unreal to me, more so the fact that she "chose" to stay by his side no matter who he choses in the end. Idk... what do you think?

Anyways, I hope you like this. i just wanna let you know that this isn't an InuYasha is a dck fanfic, Kagome just can't help what she feels even if she knows that she's been fooled just like InuYasha did. She doesn't care about the fact that he cheated or is with Kikyo and so on.

So... did you like it? I’m kind of ashamed of it....

[osakaso5]

Sogo Osaka 12 SONGS GIFT Rabbit Chat Part 5: Maybe

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Riku: Sogo-san, happy birthday!

Yamato: Sou, congrats.

Tamaki: So-chan, hbd!!

Nagi: Happy birthday, Sogo. Have you had a wonderful day so far?

Mitsuki: Sogo, happy birthday!

Iori: Osaka-san, happy birthday.

Sogo: Thanks, everyone. Thank you so much.

Tsumugi: Sogo-san, happy birthday! And good work with the release event!

Tamaki: How'd it go? Were you nervous?

Sogo: Super nervous...

Riku: But the crowd was loving it! I saw the video our manager filmed!

Mitsuki: I think you gave the people who were expecting a soft and gentle song a fright, though. Even if they did eventually get into it.

Tsumugi: The fans were very excited, it was a great event! Especially...

Choices/outcomes:

1. The solo live!

Sogo: I was nervous, but I'm glad I managed to sing the song I love exactly the way I wanted. It was nice that even the stage production was more intense that with groups like IDOLiSH7 or MEZZO".

2. The release handshake event!

Sogo: That was fun. I was happy to be able to see my audience from up close and talk to them, since they're usually so far away.

3. The MC corner!

Sogo: I wonder if it went well... I practiced talking over and over, but the words still didn't come out the way I wanted...

Yamato: You sent me a message saying "The fans at this handshake event remind me of myself", what was that about?

Sogo: I figured they must've been feeling the same nervousness I feel when meeting artists I admire.

Sogo: Momo-san and Tsunashi-san always tell me that it's okay to relax, and I never have the courage to do so. I found myself thinking the same thing with all those fans.

Yamato: That they should relax more?

Sogo: Yes. But I understood from personal experience that it was probably impossible for them.

Iori: I see. You could sympathize with the fans who came to your handshake event. What did you say to those fans?

Sogo: "Lift your face, please. You'll regret it later if you don't look me in the face now."

Mitsuki: That's really nice advice, but it feels kinda commandeering, don't you think!?

Sogo: Huh!? Really!? Oh no...

Riku: But I think the fans who were urged to look you in the face were happy about it!

Nagi: Exactly. You helped many shy girls.

Mitsuki: That's true! They're all yor fans, so I'm sure they got what you were trying to say! How did the song go?

Sogo: I was nervous, but luckily I managed to sing just fine.

Sogo: The MC parts made me the most nervous...

Tamaki: So-chan, you went quiet at really weird parts.

Sogo: You could tell?

Tamaki: Anyone could notice that. Your face looked all desperate, too.

Sogo: That sucks...

Nagi: Worry not. Your audience was watching over you, warmly and happily.

Mitsuki: That's right! Your talking sounded more ordinary after that, it was interesting!

Sogo: Really?

Mitsuki: Really! It's good that you weren't too collected! All's well that ends well!

Yamato: But why'd you fumble? You practiced the MC parts to a point of practically memorizing the whole thing, didn't you?

Sogo: The audience yelled all kinds of interjections when I talked. I thought it was really funny, but the moment I laughed, I forgot everything I was supposed to say...

Yamato: Right. That's not something you get to experience by just memorizing.

Sogo: When it happened, I thought 'Mitsuki-san would have a better reply to this', and his face popped into my mind. Then I realized I'd gone quiet, and thought 'Nagi-kun would come up with a good ad lib in a situation like this', and then his face popped into my head...

Sogo: All your faces came to mind at some point.

Yamato: Sounds like your whole life was flashing in front of your eyes.

Tamaki: You thought about me, too?

Sogo: I did. I thought that if you were there with me, you'd help me for sure.

Riku: Tamaki, he trusts you!!

Mitsuki: That's great! MEZZO"'s friendship grows once again!!

Nagi: That is the mark of a friendship and trust that has been cultivated carefully over time.

Sogo: It's a little embarrassing to be told that...

Iori: Yotsuba-san, why have you gone silent?

Yamato: Tama's probably embarrassed, too.

Tamaki: Am not.

Tamaki: I was just thinking about how useless he is.

Sogo: I'm sorry for being such a pathetic partner... Especially since you did such a fine job with your solo live...

Tamaki: No, wait!! I was lying!! I was actually just embarrassed...

Sogo: Really?

Tamaki: Really...

Yamato: You two haven't changed that much, after all.

Tsumugi: Sogo-san, since it's your birthday,  would you mind talking  about how you feel right now?

Tsumugi: I asked you all back when you'd just debuted. About what kind of work you wanted to do, and what kind of idols you wanted to be.

Tsumugi: You might feel differently by now. I wanted to ask you again, for the sake of your future work.

Sogo: Right...

Sogo: I think my feelings may have changed quite a bit. I became an idol because it was my dream to do so, but back when I'd just joined IDOLiSH7, I don't think I understood myself, or what it meant to make my dream come true.

Sogo: I forgot what was really important, because I was only concerned with succeeding in the tasks given to me, and not causing anyone trouble.

Sogo: Even though I'd supposedly become an idol to live true to myself.

Tsumugi: Sogo-san...

Sogo: I was still new at this, and bound to make mistakes along the way. I knew the others would be there to help me, and yet.

Sogo: At some point, my top priority had become to just do well and not bother anyone.

Sogo: Tamaki-kun, you often got mad at me in the beginning, didn't you? Because I wasn't "sincerely trying to be friends with you".

Tamaki: I remember. Like at the barbecue.

Sogo: Looking back, I think that was half true and half false.

Sogo: I really did want to be friends with you. But it wasn't so much because of a genuine interest in you, as it was out of feeling that we had to get along.

Sogo: That was rude of me. You probably noticed it because you're so sensitive.

Tamaki: I know you're not like that anymore.

Sogo: Thank you.

Sogo: It's the same with my work. Obviously, I still don't want to fail...

Sogo: But now I'm more and more interested in learning, and doing new things.

Yamato: You've gotten more confident, Sou. You could do pretty much anything from the get-go, so it's not that your skills have improved in any big way.

Yamato: You're confident in the fact that you're needed and loved. That's great.

Sogo: Thank you, Yamato-san... It's because all of you were always there for me.

Riku: I'm really happy if being with us has made you like yourself more, Sogo-san!

Riku: Because all of us really love you!

Sogo: Thank you, Riku-kun... I really love all of you, too.

Nagi: It is such a wonderful thing. We should all spend as much time as possible with the ones who make us happy, and help us like ourselves.

Nagi: Sogo, as well as the rest of us, are the best kinds of friends. The kind that can make each other happy just by being together.

Mitsuki: Right! Thanks to Sogo saying nice things about me, I started to like myself more, too! You've helped me turn a slump into confidence!

Iori: I've always thought that more confidence is all you need, Osaka-san. In other words, right now you are perfect.

Sogo: Thank you, Nagi-kun, Mitsuki-san, and Iori-kun. I'm so happy.

Sogo: I'm really glad I get to sing with you.

Tamaki: Congrats, So-chan. On your birthday, and the fact that you wanna try more things.

Tamaki: Also, thanks for understanding why I used to feel so lonely.

Sogo: I should be thanking you. I'm sorry I scolded you without even trying to undertand.

Tamaki: Let's have another barbecue. This time we'll be able to chat like normal.

Tamaki: Without having to try and get along.

Sogo: That's right. We'll be able to talk for ages.

Tsumugi: 

Tsumugi: Thank you, Sogo-san... I'm really glad I got to know how you really feel...

Sogo: I'm glad I got to talk about this with all of you, too. Thank you, manager.

Tsumugi: Don't thank me! I'll do my best so you can keep doing the things you want to do. I look forward to working with you!

Sogo: Me, too.

Tsumugi: Sogo-san, please write one last message for your fans!

Sogo: Got it.

Sogo: Thank you to everyone who's supported me. It's because of you that I've gotten to grow another year older.

Sogo: Thank you for caring about me, and loving me. I love all of you so much, too.

Sogo: Let's continue to make irreplaceable memories together.

Translator’s notes..? 

next up, gaku’s cybertechno rabbit chats!