#not worried about cheating at all whatever just growing apart it's killing me

[malthusiana]

People in long distance relationships, please help me 😭

[sosa2imagines]

I know where I belong. Part 1

----------------------------------------------------- Warning- Angst, This time we hate Steve 😭😂 ----------------------------------------------------- Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 ✅ -----------------------------------------------------

Thanos took a toll on all of you but thankfully everyone were back safe and sound. Everyone expect for Steve the love of your life. He had his dance and he did return back to you and his friends but something was off.

He was clearly not happy. You all thought maybe it is because of his journey to the past. For two days straight he was grumpy it went on onto the third day then on the fourth day things were different Steve came back to the tower in a happy mood. Everyone was curious as to why the captain is all of a sudden in such a good mood. That night he slept like a baby cuddling you and you were content that he is finally back to being normal. Oh how wrong you were! Since that day Steve would go out daily and come back with a satisfied grin that would last until he saw you. You were confused by his reaction but brushed it off not thinking much about it.

From the third week onwards he was rarely in the tower. Most of the times he would stay in his Brooklyn apartment. He barely spoke to you, he avoided you as much as possible. Nat was worried about you, she found it weird and you tried to cover it but she was having none of it. It killed you when he would talk to everyone except you, day by day you felt the distance between you both grow. Steve would sleep far on his side of the bed. His cold behavior was shattering you.

Having had enough you decided to visit his apartment. And that's when you found out why he was avoiding you, you were greeted by the view of Steve balls deep in Sharon who was making stupid weird noises and Steve moaning whatever he can. You were standing there numb tears flowing freely you gave them few more minutes before opening your mouth "are you done?"

Steve scrambled up to cover himself cursing while Sharon smirked pulling the sheets over herself. Steve cursed under his breath "Y/n it's not" "Don't you dare" "Let me explain y/n you we" "Explain" you cut him off gesturing to come straight to the point. "You were not supposed to find out like this" "Then how was I supposed to find out ROGERS!?" You yell at him making Steve flinch. "I was going to tell you" "How long Steve" "Y/n please" "HOW.LONG?" you spat each word. "After I came back, three days later I bumped into her and we just clicked, we talked about our past and, I'm sorry Y/n I'm in love with Sharon" You knew about their past, you also knew how she had left him after he had found her cheating on him on his bed. "She had cheated on you" you remind him voice small trying to control the urge to cry more. "She has changed I can feel it after all she is a Carter" You didn't say anything else just stood there staring at him and to his surprise you gave him a tight slap on the face even if it pained your hand. Sharon was quick to get up giving you a 'what the fuck' look and boy she had it coming you launched at her your fist colliding with her jaw and another breaking her nose. Once you enter the tower you walked as fast as you could in desperate need of air, hoping you wouldn't run into anyone as you dashed down the hall, your eyes trained on the floor, throat closing in on itself painfully, not noticing Tony looking at you in concern only for you to bump into Nat. “Y/n? what’s wrong?” You wanted to talk but you were struggling "He...he..How could he do this to me Nat?" You sob into her arms "Y/n calm down who did what?" Tony rushed to your side Nat looked at Wanda who was quick to read your mind she gasped "that bastard", thank god for her powers she made it easy for you, Wanda told them everything. "I should have known" Nat hissed. Tony and Sam exchanged looks. You were like a sister to Tony and Sam even though you were best friends and partners in pranks. Their blood was boiling not able to believe the golden boy lost his mind.

Wanda was hesitant to leave you alone in your old room but you begged her and she agreed not before making you promise that you won't do anything stupid. After she left you fell on the ground bringing your knees to your chest and you cried your heart out. All of your dreams crushed and thrown out the widow because all of a sudden he was in love with his ex.

Few days later when Bucky finally arrived from his vacation he was more than excited to see you, his bestfriend after Steve obviously. But when he entered the common room he was greeted with silence, he instantly knew something was wrong. He could feel the negative vibe. He saw Tony and Nat who were avoiding his gaze, he asked them if something happened but both were quiet not knowing how to tell him what his best friend did. But that did not stop Sam from opening his mouth, he told Bucky everything without any filter. Bucky was blanked he couldn't wrap his head around the fact Steve who was a shy kid would do something like this. Clenching and unclenching his fists Bucky was shaking. "Where is she?" "In her old room" Nat told him and he ran towards your room.

You were lost in your own world when someone knocked on your door and thank god you opened the door you were shocked eyes glossy and as soon as you whispered "Bucky" he was quick to hold you in his arms and you cried and cried in Bucky's protective hold.

----------------------------------------------------- (So here is the first part for the alternate version, I hope you guys like it and feedback as always is appreciated. Lots of love to you all, take care and enjoy 😊❤️) ----------------------------------------------------- Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 ✅ -----------------------------------------------------

[lostgirlfandom]

The Right Partner

Pairing: Billy Russon x Female!Reader

Warnings: Smut and Angst. 18+ only. If you aren't 18 or older, don't read please.

Words: 1.8k

You stood at the big windows that showed the whole of Hell’s Kitchen from your apartment that you shared with your fiancé. Or that you use to share with him.

Your arms crossed in front of your stomach as you took in a shuddering breath. Closing your eyes, feeling the dryness and swollen from crying for the last couple of hours. Since the Homeland Security agent left. Since Dinah left.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t know he was taken. I didn’t know that you existed till after the fact.” Dinah’s face was pained and pinched up for a split second before schooling into a hard mask.

You thought of what she said… About how her and Bill slept together. How Bill cheated.

Your eyes watered again but you clenched them shut. Bowing your head as you heard the front door open.

“Baby! You home?” You heard Billy call from the entrance area. Probably toeing off his shoes and taking his jacket off. “Did you want to order in tonight? We could get your favorite? It’s been a while since we’ve both been…” His voice trailed off from the living room now. Seeing the duffle that was packed with your things. “Off.” He finished. “Baby?” He spoke slowly and cautiously.

Taking a deep breath and hardening your face and heart to try and face him as you lifted a hand to wipe your face of tears. Turning, you walked into the living room from the bed room.

“Hey, you going somewhere? Is something wrong?” He asked after seeing your red blotched face from crying, eyes still swollen.

“Yeah…” You rasped out but your voice broke at the end of the word. You swallowed and licked your lips. “Yeah, I’m gonna go stay with my sister/brother/friend.”

“Did something happen?” He grew worried as he walked up to you and put his hands on your upper arms. You closed your eyes and pulled yourself from his touch. His brow pinched up as he watched you. He grew even more worried. “Hey, talk to me.” He softly told you as he moved his head to get you to look in his eyes.

“I can’t stay here. Not now.” You opened your eyes and looked him in the eyes. You saw the confusion and worry grow in his gaze. “I know, Billy.” His brow frowned even more as he shook his head in confusion. “I know about Dinah.”

His body froze as you spoke her name. His eyes widened and his arms dropped to his sides. A deep frown set onto his face, along with guilt and regret coated his eyes. “Y/N-”

You didn’t let him finish. “Why? After everything, Bill. I’ve been with you since we were teenagers and you…” You took in a deep breath. Harshly, you clenched your eyes shut again. Blocking out the stabbing feeling in your chest as your stomach clenches, having the feeling of an oncoming panic attack. “You just… You just decide to throw that out… and for what reason? For some women? Was I, was I not enough, huh?” You spouted out.

Your words stabbed him, making him rush to answer you. “No, baby, no. That’s not it at all.” He shut his eyes as he knew he had to tell you why he did what he did. About Cerberus. About the mission. So, he did.

He told you the whole thing. Even the fact that Rawlins held his fate and reputation over his head from his involvement with the mission. He didn’t want any part of whatever Rawlins had going on but the man had most of the money in Anvil and also has proof that Billy had a hand in killing that Homeland Security agent even though Billy didn’t know who it was.

You and Billy now sat on the couch after the long explanation from him about what was going on. “He told me to sleep with her.” He whispered. He stared out in front of him as he fiddled with his fingers. “If I didn’t…” His face scrunched up in pain and his eyes watered. You bit the inside of your lip; this was the first time that he’s come close to crying since he started explaining. “If I didn’t… he would have killed you.” His voice cracked and he rasped out to you. He turned to you and a tear fell down his cheek. “He would have killed you and I would rather have you alive and hating me than you not being here at all.” He finally let out a sob and clenched his jaw.

“Oh Baby.” You spoke out softly as you watched his head bow down. You reached out and put a hand at the back of his head and pulled him to you as you kissed his forehead.

“I’m sorry.” He clutched the fabric of your shirt and leaned more into you as he sobbed into your shirt. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You didn’t say anything for a moment, letting him get all his emotions out before you spoke up. “I get it… I understand, Billy. I do. And we will get through this. I’ll be here.”

He sighed in relief as he reached up to cup your face and then pulled you into a desperate kiss. It screamed relief and love and hope. You pressed back just as desperate and clutched onto his sides.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and then leaned back while pulling you onto his lap to straddle him. His hands left a burn as it trailed up your shirt and gripped the skin on your sides and back. Making you shudder as you softly rocked against him.

Your breaths mingled before he breathed out. “I love you… so fucking much.”

Ripping off your shirt, you gasped and pulled his off as he went about getting your bra off. Trailing his lips down to your neck, he pressed open mouth kisses on the side of your neck. Biting down in a spot, making you gasp out a moan and throw your head back. Your hands gripped his shoulders as he marked your neck and chest with love bites, pressing kisses and licking them as he did so.

His hands scratched down your back as he took a nipple into his mouth, sucking gently and licking at the nub as his hands went down into your leggings and panties and squeezed your ass harshly. He moaned as he felt your skin against his hands and you riding against him.

You felt the hardness against your core as you grinding down onto him. He surprised you by moving so he had you pressed into the couch. Detaching himself for a moment to lean up and then pull your leggings up and off you along with your panties. He leaned back down and kissed over your chest and stomach. His hand trailing down to rub at your entrance. You clenched around nothing as you felt yourself get wetter, as you were already becoming a little slick from the grinding. He bit his lip and leaned up to watch your face as he rubbed your entrance and clit.

Your mouth made an ‘o’ shape as you moaned out and locked eyes with him. “So wet for me, baby. Such a good girl.” He leaned down and kissed you passionately as he continued to rub your pussy till you were slick and ready for his fingers. He pressed his middle finger into your entrance slowly, making sure you aren’t uncomfortable as he went all the way in to the knuckle.

He then slowly thrust his finger in and out for a few strokes before adding another finger, softly curling them. You moaned as you closed your eyes and took in the sensations. His lips and touch, making your stomach clench as you enjoyed the feelings. He made sure you were slick and ready for him as he took his fingers out and then rubbed your entrance, lips and clit with his wet fingers.

He then hurriedly leaned back and undid his belt and pants and pushing them down with his underwear. His cock springing up and hitting his abdomen before bouncing back down. You watched him and licked your lips. He didn’t even pull off his pants all the way, just enough to pull his cock out.

He leaned down and kissed you again, tangling your tongues together as he rubbed his shaft over your lower lips, getting himself slick. He moaned into your mouth as he felt how wet you were with his cock, making him leak pre-cum. He teased at your entrance with a few thrusts of his hips, making you both moan and gasp.

Finally, he reached down and guided himself so his tip is at your entrance and pressed into you. You gave a whining moan as he stretched you out as he slowly entered to the hilt. “Always so tight for me, baby.” He rasped out as he felt your walls clench around him. His cock pulsed slightly as your walls gripped him tightly.

Before long, he started to thrust his cock in and out of your pussy. Slowly picking up the pace as you both gripped at each other’s skin and biting at shoulders and chest.

Sweat started to coat your bodies, making it hard for you to grip at his back, making you dig your nails into his skin. He hissed but moaned as you dug your nails into him. He leaned up and pulled your legs up as he started to thrust faster. He bit at your calf as he watched you come undone at the new angle. Your hands moved down to his thighs as you clenched around him.

“Getting… Getting close, Billy.” You moaned out as you clenched around him again. He groaned as he felt you tighten around him.

“Cum, baby. Cum for me” He demanded you. You looked up at him as you clenched down around him and came hard from the buildup and the demanding tone, he gave you.

He gasped and groaned as he felt you cum around his cock, feeling your pussy become soaked and creamy from the orgasm. His hips jerked and his rhythm stuttered as his balls clenched up and he came just after you. Filling you up as you moaned and became extra stimulated at the feeling of him cumming in you. He let your legs go as he leaned down between them and kissed you as his cock twitched in you.

Both of you breathing heavily and coated with sweat, but he didn’t move from you as he laid down over you. Making you wrap your arms around him. He didn’t move, even when he softened inside you but just laid there.

Your hearts started to slow down along with your breathing. You were quiet as your fingers trailed over his back as his hand pushed under your body to hold you.

And you stayed like that for a while before you both had to get up to shower.

But you both were peaceful and ready to face whatever came your way.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Give Yourself a Try

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader enemies to lovers

Synopsis: you and Peter hate each other, which becomes a problem when you’re given a group project

Part two and three

Masterlist

“Good morning Ned.” You kindly greeted as you took your seat in front of Peter in your first period physics class.

“Morning Y/n.” Ned said back, gearing up for what he knew was coming.

“I really like your makeup today, Y/n.” Peter smiled as he leaned forward in his seat. “Is it hard balancing your schoolwork with your job at the circus?”

“Not at all.” You smiled sweetly at him as you turned around. “I could get you a job there if you’d like. We’ve been needing something small to feed to the lions between shows. You’d be perfect.”

“Small? Darling, you must be mistaken.” Peter kept a sickly sweet grin on. “I’m bigger than your boyfriend of the week over there.”

“Silly goose.” You scrunched your nose at him. “Harry Osborn is not my boyfriend. And just so you know, steroids are really bad for you. I’m worried about your well being.”

“I’m not on steroids.” Peter hissed, dropping the act. “Stop trying to start that rumor.”

“Why not?” You shot back. “You had no trouble spreading the rumor that I was the one who killed Herbie the hamster when we all know it was you who left the door open after cleaning his cage.”

“Are you kidding me? That was fifth grade.” He whispered harshly.

“I will never forget it.” You snapped back.

“Ahem.” The teacher cleared her throat as she stared at you and Peter with an annoyed expression. This was an everyday occurrence in her class, and any other class you had with Peter. You hated each other and everyone knew it. You and Peter stopped arguing and slumped in your seats, giving each other one last look of disdain.

“Instead of a final exam this semester, I’ll be giving you a final project.” The teacher continued. “You’ll be working with one other student.”

“Nice. We can finally present our work on quantum physics.” Peter excitedly high fived Ned.

“Can you guys reschedule your virgin convention for later?” You asked seriously. “I’m trying to listen.”

“Because of the disappointing grades on the last project, I will be assigning your partners.” The teacher went on.

“Don’t worry.” Peter whispered to Ned again. “We could still end up together. We got an A last time so she knows we work well together.”

“We got an A last time.” You mimicked his voice and moved your hand like a puppet.

“Yeah. An A.” Peter said as he leaned forward in his seat. “You know, like your bra size.”

“What did you just say to me?” You snapped as you whipped around. He had on his infamous shit eating grin that you hated.

“Young man, can you please stop interrupting our conversation?” He said as he held up a hand. Your jaw dropped at the insult, face growing warm with anger. You decide not to give him the satisfaction of an insult exchange and turned around in your seat. Your teacher began to list off the partners for the projects.

“Leeds, Stacy.” She called out. “You’ll be working together.”

“Sorry, man. But also, not sorry man.” Ness frown quickly turned into a smile. “Gwen, over here!”

“Aw.” You snickered as you turned around on your chair. “I feel bad for whoever gets stuck with you now. That poor, unfortunate soul.”

“Parker. L/n. You’ll be working together.”

“What?” You and Peter screamed in unison. You gave each other an angry look before looking at your teacher in protest.

“You two are always holding up my class and I’m tired of it.” She held up a hand. “This project will teach you how to finally get along and stop disrupting me while I teach.”

“Mrs. Avery, with all due respect, I can feel myself getting more disruptive already.” You told her.

“I think that’s your STD.” Peter mumbled.

“You two need to learn how to be professional and amicable.” She ignored your protest. “You won’t always like your peers. But you will always have to collaborate with them at some point.”

“I understand that.” You assured her. “But if we do this project together, my fist is going to collaborate with Peters face.”

“That’s a threat.” Peter piped up. “I’d like to file a report.”

“And I’d like to take that report and shove it up your-“

“Enough.” Mrs. Avery cut you off. “You will be working together and that is final.”

You both shrunk in your seats, fuming with anger over the teachers decision. You didn’t cause any more disruptions throughout the class and quickly left once the bell rang.

Peter saw you at your locker, which was coincidentally next to his locker, spraying some perfume on.

“Darling!” Peter exclaimed as he stood next to you. “So good to see you! You know how much I love when you hog all the locker space and make the entire hallways smell like perfume.”

“Why, thank you.” You touched your hand to your heart. “As I’m sure you know, some of us prefer to smell like things other than Neosporin and baby powder. After all, that’s your signature scent and I’d just hate to step on your toes.”

“I didn’t know. Thank you for opening your gigantic mouth and telling me!” Peter said through a toothy grin.

“Oh, Peter.” You laughed airily. “You’re very welcome, you sad sack of shit.”

“Classy.” Peter faked a smile as he opened his locker. “Do you want to come over to my house after school to work on the project? I live walking distance from here.”

“What? No.” You scoffed. “You’re not getting me to a secondary location. We’ll work in the library.”

“Actually, we won’t, because it’s closed for maintenance.” He replied with a tight smile.

“I wish you were closed for maintenance.” Yoh grumbled as you zipped up your bag.

“Hilarious.” He fake laughed loudly. “Are you coming over or not?”

“Not.” You said in disgust. “I don’t know you or your parents. You might try to kill me as a part of some Parker family cult ritual.”

“My parents are dead.” He told you, unamused. “It’s just me and my aunt.”

“Is your aunt a cult leader?” You asked.

“No.” He groaned.

“Cult member?”

“No. All she does is cheat at cross world puzzles and shop at Whole Foods.” He said.

“So you lied.” You slammed your locker and looked at him. “She’s in the Whole Foods cult.”

“Can you try not to be difficult for two minutes, please? We need to get this project done.”

“Jokes on you, Parker.” You folded your arms. “Difficult is my lowest setting.”

“Ooo. Scary.” He mocked you. “What’s your highest? Because I’m pretty sure I saw it last Tuesday when your backpack got stuck on the door handle and you decided to blame me.”

“I know that was your fault. And I go from difficult to hooligan to the step mom from Parent Trap.” You shrugged.

“And they said women aren’t funny.” Peter replied as he slapped his knee. You raised an eyebrow at him, judging him for his material.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled.

“You’re gonna be sorry.” You told him. “Where do you live again?”

“Waking distance from here. I said that less than five minutes ago.” He rolled his eyes at you.

“Well I didn’t hear that because I tune you out when you speak. You know, like most people do.” You said sweetly.

“Wow, you’re so funny.” Peter said sarcastically. “If I meet you here at the end of the day, will you come home with me?”

“Fine.” You huffed. “I’ll go home with you. But if I start detecting any cult shit going on, I’m leaving.”

“Fine by me.” He scoffed. “I’ll see you later.”

~

“Are you ready to go?” Peter asked after the last bell had rang. You shouldered your backpack and shut your locker, feeling unusually anxious around him. You could deal with Peter for 40 minutes at a time when all you did was trade insults. Something about walking to his home together and spending time alone knocked the confidence right out of you.

“I’m ready.” You nodded.

“What, no insult?” He asked. “No mocking of my voice?”

“We were assigned each other as partners so we could learn to be civil, right?” You shrugged. “I guess I’m just mature enough to give it a try.”

“There she is.” Peter smiled as you began to walk in the direction of his apartment. “There’s my girl.”

You looked to the side when you heard him say this, unsure of how it made you feel. You often called each other pet names ironically, but this felt different. There was a change in the dynamic between the two of you and it was clouding your judgment.

You let Peter do all the talking as you walked home, thankful that he lived so close to the school. He spewed out ideas for the project the entire elevator ride up and didn’t stop until you were standing outside his bedroom door.

Peter stopped talking and opened the door, gesturing for you to go inside. You made a face at him before walking, staying in one spot as he shut the door and sat down. You were frozen as you looked around his room, not liking how human it made him. He had notes from classes you didn’t have with him strewn around and an open first aid kit on his desk.

“You can sit.” He chuckled when he noticed how stiff you were.

“I’m scared to.” You admitted.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” You answered honestly. Something about sitting on this boys bed with him seemed finalizing, like you’d be opening a door you couldn’t close.

“Just sit down.” He repeated. “I didn’t rig the place with boobytraps, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“That’s what someone who rigged the place with booby traps would say.” You replied as you took a hesitant seat on his bed.

“There. Isnt that nice?” He asked sarcastically.

“No.” You said immediately. “Am I the first girl to ever sit on your bed?”

“Psh. No.”

“I’ll take that as a yes ma’am.” You mumbled.

“Whatever.” He replied. “What do you want to do the project on?”

“How about micropenises?” You suggested. “You won’t even have to do any research.”

“Haha. So funny.” He rolled his eyes. “You are so annoying it’s actually impressive.”

“Please.” You laughed. “You so have a crush on me.”

“What?” His entire face went red. “No I don’t.”

“No I don’t.” You mimicked his voice. “Yes you do. That’s why you’re up my ass all the time.”

“That makes no sense.” He scoffed.

“It makes total sense.” You insisted. “You know I’ll never like you back, so you made me hate you. That way, you still get to talk to me all the time. Genius, really. I applaud you.”

“That’s a nice little fantasy you’ve created for yourself. Is that what you tell yourself to help you fall asleep?” He teased you.

“Yep.” You smiled brightly. “Right after I finger blast myself to the thought of you in your Catholic schoolboy sweaters.”

“Oh my God.” His cheeks turned even redder at your inappropriate joke.

“And they said women aren’t funny.” You used his words from earlier.

“They were right.” He said, making you laugh.

“God, I love it when you talk down to me.” You fanned yourself. “Can you tell me how to change a tire?”

Peter began to laugh as well, looking at you as you both laughed. You quickly stopped laughing when you realized you just gave him a genuine smile and looked away.

“Do you want to do the project on tensile strength?” You suggested to break the tension. “I know you’re weirdly into that.”

“How’d you know?” He wondered.

“You almost popped a boner when we talked about in last month.” You teased him. “It’s just rope, dude.”

“It’s not just rope. It’s the force-“

“-the force required to pull something until it breaks. I know.” You finished his sentence. “I’m smart too, you know.”

“Oh.” He was dumbfounded that you knew something he was interested in. “I didn’t know.”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “Women use brain sometime. Woman say smart thing like man.”

Peter laughed again, realizing you were actually kind of funny when you wanted to be.

“I’m not a misogynist, you know.” Peter said after a beat. “You don’t have to make jokes like that. I may not like you, but I respect you.”

“You respect me?” You raised a skeptical eyebrow at him.

“I respect all women. The strongest person I know is my Aunt. Plus, I’ve still never met anyone who was as smart as my mom. I wouldn’t be half the man I was if it weren’t for the women who raised me.” He shrugged. “But it would be ignorant and naive of me to only respect woman who are related to me in some way. So I respect all of them unless they give me a reason not to.”

“Have I given you a reason not to?” You batted your eyelashes at him.

“Not yet.” He chuckled to himself. “You’re annoying, but you’re brilliant. I know you would never admit this, but we’re basically the same person. You’re just more extroverted so you have more friends and popularity. And you’re smart but you don’t make that your whole personality, so it impresses more people when you let your intelligence show.”

Your body language shifted when you realized he was actually a nice guy. He clearly paid attention to you and was impressed by what he saw. You didn’t say anything, so Peter kept going.

“People lean in to listen when you start speaking instead of tuning you out.” He brought up your insult from earlier, and you felt bad. You didn’t realize he admired you in any way and you felt guilty for always teasing him. Peter’s kept his eyes down, playing with his fingers to distract himself.

“You’re…you’re kind of every thing I wanted to be.” He said quietly. You smiled softly at him, but he didn’t see it. It was the first time you had a nice moment with Peter, and you didn’t hate it. You could tell he was beginning to panic for sharing so much, so you reached forward and tilted his chin up to look at you. His wide eyes met yours and you gave him a small smile.

“How did your parents die?” You asked quietly, immediately ruining the moment.

“Damn.” Peter pulled away with a shocked laugh. “When was your first period?”

“All right. I get your point.” You rolled your eyes. “That was a little abrupt.”

“You’re telling me.” He teased. You sat in silence for a moment, neither of you sure where to go from there. You knew Peter was still processing you touching his face, so you talked first.

“My parents are dead too.” You said without looking up at him.

“They are?” He asked, scooting a little closer to you on the bed.

“Yeah.” You looked up and gave him a sad smile. “But if you think we’re gonna take a turn and fall in love because we have similar trauma, you’re wrong. I can’t stand orphans.”

“But you’re an orphan.” He reminded you.

“And?”

“Never mind.” He shook his head. “I have a feeling I won’t be getting through to you.”

“Probably not.” You agreed. “Tell me more, though. Did your parents die doing something cool?”

“I don’t really know.” He shrugged. “It was a plane crash. That’s all I’ve been told.”

“Oh.” You nodded. “Sounds lame.”

“What?”

“A plane crash?” You raised your eyebrow. “That’s so boring. Yawn.”

“Excuse me?” He laughed in shock again. “Fine. How did your parents die?”

“Firefighters.” You said proudly. “Died saving three children.”

“Wow.” Peter sat back, stumped.

“Yeah.” You nodded. “I was one of them.”

“Seriously?” His eyes widened as he fought the urge to hold your hand.

“No. I’m fucking with you.” You began to laugh as he let out a groan.

“Why would you do that to me?” He whined. “You had me, for a minute there.”

“What can I say? I’m an actor.” You flipped your hair ostentatiously.

“What actually happened?” He wondered. You stopped smiling and bit your bottom lip.

“Drunk driver.” You told him. He didn’t fight the urge this time and reached over to take your hand in his. You stared at your interlocked hands, wondering if you should pull away or not. On the one hand, he was your enemy. But that didn’t make his warmth any less inviting.

“I’m sorry.” He said softly. “That must have been really hard on you.”

“You know the feeling, don’t you?” You asked with a sad smile.

“I do.” He nodded. “And I know how much it sucked to not have someone who knew how it felt. You don’t have to feel that way anymore. Neither of us do.”

You opened your mouth to speak but quickly shut it, not wanting to ruin the moment again. The guy holding your hand was not the same guy who sat behind you in physics. This guy was someone you actually liked.

“I might have misjudged you, Peter Parker.” You laughed shyly. “You might not be as unbearable as I remembered.”

“And you might not be the frigid bitch I thought you were.” He matched your tone.

“Watch it.” You warned.

“Sorry.” He mumbled.

“You were right.” You said after a beat. “We are pretty much the same person. I never realized that before.”

“Maybe that’s why we don’t get along.” He shrugged, rubbing soft circles into your hand.

“I’d be willing to give it a try, if you were.” You said sheepishly. “Who knows? I might just like you.”

“You want to give this a try?” He asked, eyes lighting up in excitement.

“Why not?” You shrugged. “What do I have to lose?”

“Okay.” He nodded eagerly. “Then we’ll try.”

“Cool.” You smiled.

“Cool.” He said before leaning in for a kiss. Your eyes widened as his fluttered shut, making you realize you were on different pages. His lips made contact with yours for a few seconds before you pushed him off.

“What the hell are you doing?” You asked as you covered your mouth with your hand.

“Kissing you?” He asked in confusion as hurt flashed in his eyes.

“Why the hell would you do that?” You exclaimed, still in shock. You got off the bed and backed away from him, trying to process what just happened.

“You said we were giving it a try!” He was shouting now too, but not out of anger. “I thought we were finally admitting that we like each other.”

“I meant giving friendship a try! I never said anything about a relationship.” You shouted. You quieted down when you saw the upset look on his face. “You... you like me?”

“I thought it was obvious.” He said quietly. “I-I thought you knew. You said it before and I just…I thought you knew.”

“Peter, I was joking when I said all that stuff.” You calmed down and sat back on his bed. “I didn’t actually think you liked me.”

“Oh.” He blinked a few times before looking down. “I…I do.”

“Peter, I’m sorry.” You reached for his hand again but his withdrew it.

“No, it’s my fault.” He shook his head and got off the bed. “I misunderstood the situation.”

“Peter, wait.” You caught him by the wrists and pulled him back down to the bed. He sat down again but looked anywhere but at you. You could see that his eyes were glassy so you put a hand on his face.

“You were right.” His voice wavered. “I did like you and I did think you’d never like me back. That’s why I always tease you. I just wanted you to talk to me.”

“Pete.” You whispered, rubbing his cheekbone with your thumb.

“I’m sorry. I really don’t want to be here right now. I’ll email you my part of the project and-“

You cut him off by wrapping your hand around the back of his neck and pulling him into a kiss. You both had your eyes closed this time and it lasted much longer. Your lips moved against his slowly and you could feel how inexperienced he was. Even so, it was perfect. You pulled away after a minute and looked into his eyes, feeling better now that there were no traces of sadness in them.

“You kissed me.” He said, dumbfounded.

“I can’t know I don’t like you back if I never give you a chance.” You shrugged as you withdrew your hand from his face.

“Well what did you decide?” He asked curiously. You puckered your lips and tilted your head, staring at him as if you were making a decision.

“I still think you’re super annoying.” You concluded.

“Okay.” Peter nodded.

“But it’s an annoying I’m willing to put up with.” You decided as you slipped your hand back into his. Peter broke out into a smile and nodded again.

“Okay.”

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[flosbelova]

i feel safer with you

florence pugh x reader

summary: you and your boyfriend got into a fight and things turned physical. you finally decided to pack up, and call your best friend, florence, to stay the night. mix of angst and fluff. 

warnings: mention of abuse

word count: 1.4k

request from @the-loving-quotes

he hit you. he actually hit you. you never thought that things would ever escalate like this but unfortunately it did. once your boyfriend realized he hit you, he immediately apologized, but you weren’t having it. you stepped away, and packed up your stuff. you walked out of his apartment door and told him that you were over. as heartbroken, and shocked you are, you felt slightly proud of yourself for holding your ground and leaving him for good. 

now, you have nowhere to stay. it’s almost 11pm and you’re sat at a bench near the bus stop.

you were looking through your phone, and you knew that you could call one person. but you were hesitant. you had feelings for florence. your best friend. actually, it was kind of the reason why you and your boyfriend had a fight in the first place. 

you finally got the courage to tell him about your feelings for someone else. however, he lost it when he found out it was for florence. he knew how close you two were and immediately thought you had cheated on him. you just didn’t expect him to hit you. 

you finally swallowed your pride and called florence.

*on the phone*

“hello?”

“hey flo..”

“y/n, what’s wrong? it’s 11:13, are you okay?”

“i, um,” your voice breaks. 

“send me your location. i’ll be there in a second,” florence says. 

you send her your location. 

“okay, i’ve got it. stay put y/n, i’ll be there in 15 minutes. i love you.”

you didn’t respond. you ended the call. of course florence would tell you she loves you, you’re her friend after all. but it made you think if she also thought of you as more than a friend. your mind was going a mile a minute. conflicted with feelings for your friend, and overwhelmed at the thought of your eventful night. 

florence must’ve been rushing because she got to you in less than 10 minutes. she gets out of her car and helps you with your bags. she opens the door for you and gives you a soft smile, hoping it’ll make you feel better. 

-

setting your bags down in florence’s apartment, you quickly made your way to her couch. you sat there and stared at the coffee table, zoning out. 

you flinch as florence puts her hand on your shoulder. florence jumps as you flinch and almost drops the cup she had in her hand. 

“here, i made you some tea,” she says, placing it on the table. 

you hesitate to grab the cup, which florence notices. 

“don’t worry, i didn’t poison it,” she says jokingly. 

you chuckle. “well, better than you h- never mind,” you answer. 

florence doesn’t laugh. she sits next to you, your arms brushing together. as numb as you may feel, that friction was strong enough to make you feel butterflies. god, you were overwhelmed. so many feelings were going through your head and you couldn’t tell if you were supposed to be happy or upset. 

florence snaps you out of you thoughts when you started spilling the tea on her couch. you finally snap back to reality and realize you’ve spilled the tea on her couch. 

“oh god, flo i’m so sorry,” you say. 

“no it’s fine,” she says, getting up and handing you paper towels. “you need to tell me what’s wrong.”

quickly wiping her couch, you set the paper towel and the cup on her coffee table. she sits back down next to you, facing you. you turn to face her and look down, avoiding her gaze. 

florence reaches for your hand, but you quickly pull away. it’s like whatever kind of physical touch triggers you at this moment. 

“what happened, y/n. please tell me.”

you take a deep breath. “he hit me,” you say quietly. 

“he what?” florence asks, her anger rising up. 

you feel your lips quiver. “he hit me,” your voice breaking, unable to stop the tears from falling down your face. 

florence took a deep breath and pushed down her anger. instead, she shifts closer to you, to try and hug you. “is it okay if i can hug you?”

you nod. you rest your head on her shoulder, and broke down. florence wrapped her arms around you. one hand rubbing your back, and another holding your head. you wrap your arms around her, breaking the gap between you. 

“i’m here, sweetheart. you’re gonna be okay. i’m right here,” she whispers to you. 

once you calmed down, you pulled away but kept your arms around her waist. she moved her hands to your cheeks and wiped away your tears. she smiled softly. you managed to smile back. 

“is it okay if i can stay with you for the night? i don’t have anywhere else to-“ 

“-you can stay as long as you need to,” florence interrupts you. 

you smile, and let a few more tears fall. florence was quick to wipe them away. 

“may i ask what happened? like, how it got to that point?” she asks, hesitantly. “im sorry, im just curious. you don’t have to tell me anything if you aren’t comfortable.”

you hesitate for a moment, but you began to explain. “i told him that i had feelings for someone else. at first he was upset. then he asked who, and he was livid and started accusing me of cheating. then when i tried to calm him down, he was in such rage that he hit me. once he realized what he did, he started apologizing, but i just couldn’t take it. i had enough of his bullshit and i left. now here i am.”

florence looked at you, shocked. she was silent for a moment, processing everything that you had just told her. it was visible in her face how angry she was. not at you, but your now ex-boyfriend. you could tell that she wanted to beat the shit out of him. 

“i know what you’re thinking— please don’t. it’ll just make things worse,” you tell her. 

“i know, i know,” she says putting her hands up. “i won’t kill him. unless you want me to.”

you roll your eyes and smile. florence was always protective of you, ever since you both met. 

“can i ask who?” florence asks. 

“what?” you were caught off-guard. 

“you know, this person… you have feelings for…” she says, hesitating. “you dont, you don’t have to tell me. i’m just curious you know,” she begins, “i don’t wanna make you more uncomfortable, i mean you literally just told me your night and-“ 

“it’s you,” you blurted out, interrupting her rambling. 

“what?” now she was caught off-guard. 

“it’s you, flossie,” you say sighing. 

“oh” was all you heard from her. 

“yeah, ‘oh’,” you say looking down. 

florence was silent again, trying to process the moment. you look up at her and her brows were furrowed. then she smiled. you were confused. 

“this is not how i pictured confessing to you,” florence says. 

“what?” your heart was beating fast. 

“y/n, i have liked, no, i have loved you for as long as i can remember. when we first became friends, and i had gotten to know you, i realized how much i liked you. and- and i couldn’t get you out of my head, i mean i would be up late at night thinking of you-“

you were shocked. florence rambled on. “-but i knew i couldn’t be with you cause you were in a relationship and we were at completely different paths in our lives, and-“

you leaned in and kissed her. you pulled away and chuckled at florence’s face. she was caught by surprise. 

“i needed you to stop talking,” you begin. “i have had these growing feelings for you for month, and i finally got the courage to acknowledge them. of course i didn’t imagine that things were gonna go this way, but” you stop.

florence caresses your cheek and looks at you apologetically. you smile at her, “it’s okay,” you assure her. “i feel safer with you.”

she smiles. “is it okay if i can kiss you again?” she asks. 

you smile and lean in. kissing her felt like you were on top of the world, it was like as if every problem you had just went away. florence made you feel safe. she made you feel comfortable. 

pulling away, you rest your forehead against hers. you smile and say, “so, you love me?”

the end

[the-passenger-if]

although i know it would never happen can we get a short angsty scenario of what would happen if Newman caught the ROs cheating or vice versa

combining it with

i don’t think it’s been asked so how would the Ros react to catching newman cheating because i’m a mean person

(using the apartment as a setting because it would be easier to sneak in a lover there than in Mom’s house; just pretend Newman moved out at some point in the future)

“You trash!” to emphasize her words Fiama grabs the first thing her hands land on—a picture frame with a photo of Bruno and her—and flings it at the dirty cheater.

The projectile impacts between their shoulder blades and the hiss of pain it elicits from them should make her feel better, but it doesn’t. “Fiama, please.”

“You disgusting cheater!” she screams blindly looking for more ammunition; Newman is wincing at her, covering their face with raised hands. “This is what you do while I’m working? Bring side pieces to your place?” She finds… something… and feels it cracking under her fingers, but she throws it against the bastard’s stomach so hard they double over gasping for air.

The side piece is gone; they escaped through the door the second Fiama’s glare locked with their terrified eyes. Not ready to share the pain with Newman, it seems.

The person she thought she would share the rest of her life with lies doubled over on the floor and Fiama isn’t half done getting the anger out, but she has to think about Bruno. She pushes the heels of her hands against her eyes and tries to picture her son’s face. It works… if only a little.

“We’re done,” she grits out already moving to the door. “You’ll keep away from me and Bruno if you know what’s good for you. I’m not kidding.”

She doesn’t realize she’s crying until she’s out of the apartment complex.

---

Jonny should’ve phoned them. Why didn’t he phone them before showing up at their place? What possessed him to try to surprise Newman? Instead, Newman surprised him. He opened the door to find them lying on the couch of their living room with somebody Jonny doesn’t know straddling them and with half their tongue down Newman’s throat.

There’s a ringing in his ears, similar to the one that used to flood his head after a rock show, only this one seems to wash over him as if he had been gutted out and filled up with nothing but deafening noise.

Newman is in front of him saying something, but he can’t hear them. With a hand that feels cold and unresponsive like the hand of a corpse, he sets the tape he was planning to watch together on the closest furniture. Then he turns around and exits the apartment.

He barely notices Newman tugging at his jacket but he doesn’t stop; he has to get out of here, get in the car, drive away, put some distance between what he witnessed and himself.

Newman is pulling at his jacket now, so he shrugs it off and strides away faster. The ringing is so loud, the pressure in his ears unbearable.

He yanks open the door of the car, doesn’t pay attention to Newman and their words on the other side of the window, and pulls out of the driveway.

He doesn’t know how much time passes until he kills the engine and stays where he is, just staring at the desolate road ahead. Something finally cracks inside him and his already erratic breathing turns into desperate sobs. Jonny throws his arms over the wheel and breaks down.

---

They have to be kidding them. There’s no way… Roach squints through the window and through the thin curtain of the apartment and yes, there it is: Newman and Alf getting it on on the couch. Unbelievable.

They open the pizza box they brought with them and fish out a slice. They chew on it while watching the lovebirds make out and grope each other.

“Son of a bitch,” Roach mutters around their food. “What?” they continue in a whiny tone, eyes following the action in the living room, “I don’t like them. What are you talking about? You lying little slut.”

By the time Newman and the most handsome musty puppet this side of the country finish their business, Roach has eaten a whole six slices. They go to the door and open it with a kick. The look of shock on their faces makes the grin on Roach’s face grow larger. “Pizza’s here!”

“Roach,” Newman exclaims, eyes big and guilty.

“Pet!” Roach flings the almost empty box on their lap, before sprawling over the single recliner. They point at the pizza. “It’s sort of cold and soggy and the mouthfeel isn’t great, but, hey,” they wink at both of them, “what’s one more disappointment to your mouths, am I right?”

---

Horizon hears it before they see it. Through the apartment’s door, noises of kisses and whispers. They don’t even need to hear Newman moan to know what’s going on inside. They take a deep breath and knock on the door.

A beat and then, “One moment.”

Horizon waits for their partner to receive them, and if there was the smallest doubt in their mind about Newman’s infidelity—there wasn’t—it vanishes the moment they find them waiting on the other side. Their partner’s face has guilty written all over it.

“May I come in?”

“Uh…”

Horizon doesn’t wait for an answer and steps into the apartment. Newman’s admirer is standing, frozen in place halfway to the bathroom door. Their shoelaces are undone. Horizon turns to Newman, raises an eyebrow waiting for the introductions.

“Oh, uh, Horizon, uh, this is, um, a friend—“

Whatever face Horizon is doing right now is enough to make their words die in their mouth. Newman looks away.

The Domini stares at the ‘friend’. “I am Horizon, their partner. Pleased to meet you,” they simply say, tone as neutral as their face. “We have to discuss personal matters. I hope you don’t mind.” They gesture to the door.

“Not at all,” the ‘friend’ says before making a quick retreat.

Newman closes the door behind them without making a sound, and Horizon sits on the couch. It is warm. They fix Newman with a look. “Since when.”

They scratch their cheek. “Since when…?” Horizon doesn’t break eye contact, but Newman does. They massage their temple. “This was the first time.”

“Look at me in the eye.” Newman does so. “Since when.”

“This was the first time, I swear.”

Horizon stares at them in silence. “I believe you,” they say, and Newman exhales. “I don’t know why you didn’t tell me you wanted to sleep with other people. You know I don’t mind.”

“This is you when you don’t mind?”

Horizon can feel themself frown. “This is me worried that there’s something else you aren’t telling me. Did you use protection? Should I test myself for anything? I don’t want any surprises.”

“What?” And now they are frowning too. “I can’t believe this…”

Horizon pushes up from the couch and comes to stand in front of Newman. “Open the door. I need some time alone.”

Something like fear flashes in their partner’s eyes. “Will you call me when you get to your place?”

“Yes,” Horizon says, and then they are gone.

[thekillingjoke-haha]

Love And Marriage

Spnquotebingo @spnquotebingo

Quote: You don't save a marriage by sleeping with other people.–Lucifer

Mostly Memory: slant/bold. Quote:small/bold

"What the hell, Anthony!" She yelled scaring both brunettes in the bed she shared with him. The women who looked half her age scrambled off the bed in a rush and ran out of the room getting dressed as she ran out the tower. This time she was throwing objects at the genius screaming and swearing every word under the sun. And yes this wasn't the first time, but its sure as hell will be the last. "How could you do this to me!? Time and time again I forgive and you do it again!!" She tried taking control of her emotions, but they over took her and laid everything out on the table.

Tony slipped on his clothes yelling back and forth with his wife. It was a screaming match that all of New York could hear. "Maybe if you weren't such a controlling bitch I wouldn't need to rush into the arms of a women that would get off my back!" He yelled back and she was stunned into silence. Tony continued talking. "Ever since we been together you've been trying to change who I am and I got sick of it, but you were America's golden girl I couldn't dump you. You just couldn't take the hint ,sweetheart." He finished his intoxicated words got the better of him, but drunk words were sober thoughts and maybe this is exactly how he felt after all these years.

"I want a divorce." She said her voice shaking not wanting to cry in front of the man she loved and she thought loved her back. "What?!" He turned on his heels and stared at her the shouting didn't sober him up, but those four words did. "What did you say?" He asked as if he didn't hear her. "I'm through, Tony. I'm tired of this back and forth. You said it yourself your not willing to change your partying playboy ways so I'm through." She said as she went to get her phone to call her brother. "I want a divorce." Those were the final words uttered to him before she stopped talking to him all together taking off the ring made from the metal of his original reactor the diamond glowing the same blue that lulled her to sleep. Y/n twirled the ring in-between her fingers a nervous habit after the years.

Steve got to the tower from his apartment along with Bucky and Sam. His two friends walked into her bedroom to hear Tony shouting and pleading for her to listen to him. Steve went to his sister as his friends pulled the thrashing man out of the room and to a different part of the building so he could cool off. Tony in the end didn't calm down and was getting violent to the point they had to knock him out and by then Y/n was getting packed with the help of Steve

The suitcase was harshly zipped up as she rushed closing it. Tears flowed freely down her face as she packed all her things well all the things she bought herself. She wasn't running, running was for cowards she was escaping before she drowned herself in whatever kind of love she once had with her husband. Y/n breathed in through her nose as her body convulsed with another fit of silent sobs. Trying to calm down she wanted to get think clear. Did she really want to leave? No, but he didn't give her much of a choice. The light tan line on her finger just further proved she wasn't turning back...not this time. Not even for him. Y/n needed time to think without the threat of the end of the world and out from under her now ex's crushing ego.

She was shacking with anger and in grief it happened again and she was done with it all. Tony fucking Stark her husband, lover, best friend cheated on her again for the third time that she knew of. Y/n saw it she was always there at the wrong time almost like he wanted her to see how pleased he was with another. Steve came out of the bathroom with more hygiene products. "How are you feeling? Are you okay?" He asked for what feels like the hundredth time. Steve knew Y/n wasn't okay he could see it and the sight made him want to rip Stark a new one. With a deep inhale she looked up at him with s slight smile as real as she could make it. "I'm okay I just need to get out of here. Fresh air. New scenery if possible." She said as she looked longingly at a picture on the nightstand not noticing that her brother left with her bags while she stared off. The picture was of her fifth date with Tony after being together as boyfriend and girlfriend for two years, a light festival their first openly public date for cameras to capture them together making it official. America's Sweetheart with a Playboy billionaire...that headline alone should have been the first of many red flags.

The memory played vividly in her mind. Her eyes shined like stars as she dragged him behind her. It was still light outside and the small park was crowded. "Come on, Tones!" She said excitedly as she dragged him along. Many people looked at them and whispered, but they didn't care. They spent the night talking about any and everything it felt so natural. Y/n stared into the sky on their picnic blanket having already painted her lantern with a good amount of wet paint still on her hands. "We've been on what feels like a million dates and this seems like the perfect one to ask you. Will you marry me?" Tony said holding a black velvet box with a f/c diamond ring. "I thought you'll never ask!" She pulled him into a kiss paint covering his cheeks as lanterns where released. He kissed back hands resting on her hips. "Let's go home Mrs.Stark-Rogers." Tony said with a smile. "Well come on then Mr.Rogers-Stark." He was once again dragged away. "No no no my name first Steve will not hold that over me!" Y/n giggled as the memory faded into a much older one.

The twelve year old girl was getting her hair brushed by her mother. "Mama what's love like. I know you love daddy so what's it like?" She asked it's been two years since her father died ,but her mother always said she stilled loves him. "Love is a amazing feeling that doesn't happen often and sometimes it can hurt." The blonde women said to her daughter she couldn't tell her wanting love cost more then giving it. "Why will it hurt?" The young h/c girl asked turning around. "You're to young to know right now, but at some point you will." By the time Y/n turned fifteen she learned that loving someone can hurt after she stood next to her brother and best friend looking at the slab of stone that marked their mother's grave.

The first time it happened she was pissed, but not at the right person at the time. The second red flag.. Screams are what filled the house as Y/n threw clothes at the tramp that was in bed with her drunk husband. She was so anger, but that just hid the pain she was feeling three years for him to cheat. After shutting the half clothes harlot out on the front porch of the Malibu home she stormed back to Tony. He stayed in his boxers on the bed looking dazed he was drunk. "Why?" Is all she could ask as tears fell down her cheeks. The billionaire stood up and walked toward her he wiped her tears. "I'll change. I promise." He kissed her head. She believed him she had faith that he couldn't change for them. After all Y/n did the same she gave up being a hero along side her brother because he told her he already worries about getting home to her as Ironman no need to add the stress of not knowing if she'll get home. So she hung up her red, white, and blue catsuit for him.

After a year Y/n sat in her art studio wear she sold her and other rising artist artwork after Tony said she shouldn't paint in the tower,she painted with her brother laughing messing with colors. She was thankful she put down plastic tarp beforehand a giggle rang out when Natasha walked through the door. Without saying anything she drops a magazine on the table of brushes next to Y/n. On the cover was Tony kissing some red head though a window tears welled in her eyes as she wiped her hands he eyes not leaving the cover till it was picked up off the table. Natasha comforted her as Steve took the magazine and paced. " Am I stupid for trusting him? Thinking he would change?" She asked as the waterworks flowed. "No ,if anyone is stupid its him. Ever since he came out as Ironman he thought he was untouchable. God imma kill him!" The red head said while Steve was flexing his hand not wanting to hit any of the stored art pieces. The third red flag for all to see.

The bus rocked back and forth as she looked over at her brother sleeping next to her. They were heading to the airport and he was going to see her off before possibly killing Tony. Speaking of she looked down at her phone and saw dozens of missed calls and hundreds of unread text. She felt that the world was so much bigger after leaving, after getting away from the place that no longer felt like a home. Turning back to the window a memory came to surface as a teenage girl sat on the bus watching old Brooklyn go by. She thought life was so slow she wanted to grow up faster and experience life. Y/n wanted to find love like her parents had. "What are you thinking about doll?" She turned and in Steve's place was Bucky her adoptive big brother. "Nothing important, James." She said with a sigh as the old modeled cares turned back to modern vehicles and yellow taxi's.

Tony woke up and ran around the tower while calling and texting his wife. "Friday track Y/n' s phone. He said as he went to the lab to get in his suit. "She's as NYC airline." The irish voice answered as he stepped into the suit letting it close around him. Before the hatch could open completely he was flying out of the tower to the airport. "Any idea which flight?" He asked wanting to get there before it's to late. "No boss, but the next flight leaving is heading for U.K and boarding in fifteen minutes." Time was running out he needed ever second he could spare. "We'll make it in ten." That night Ironman flew to save whatever he had left.

Y/n held her ticket in her shaking hands her breath uneven. Steve left after the bus dropped her off they said their goodbyes not making the separation hurt any less. Her thoughts came back to Tony all the good times made her smile, but the dark clouds took them over soon after. It felt so right to be in his arms thinking about the future they had with each other within seconds that became a distant memory. What's sad is she wants to go back wondering if she held on to those moments longer they'll last forever. The ring she slipped back on her finger weighed a ton. Y/n didn't have the strength to take it off not for good at least and this made her feel weak. Pain was heavy in her heart from the constant ache, but the little voice kept saying maybe if we tried harder he would have loved us the way we love him, maybe rushing into a relationship wasn't the best idea, maybe he's happier without us ,maybe not telling him about the positive test was the best option ,maybe...maybe.

A hand resting on her stomach she wanted to laugh, but that would have brought on a fresh wave of tears. She started off the day without Tony in bed and sicker then she's been since her pre-serum years. Y/n went to the doctor completely covered form any prying eyes and the test were clear she couldn't believe it she took about ten test in her studio bathroom before heading back to the tower. Howard warned her and Steve that the serum might sterilize them, but at the time both of them were to small and sickly and she knew getting pregnant might kill her anyways so they both agreed to it. Y/n wished she could hug the man today he made her better and let her have a gift she never thought was possible. A baby was growing inside her. Tony never really talked about kids and neither did she since that wasn't a possibility before, but the moment she held five of the clearer test she wanted to rush into his arms and have him be the first to know. That quickly fell apart that evening and now she's here.

The suit landed out side the airport and Tony immediately ran out of it into the building looking through his tented shades he followed the path Friday set for him rushing through security. "Now boarding flight A145 to United Kingdom. Ahora aborda—" The intercom rang out. He was running out of time. There he saw h/c hair one of a couple dozen in line due to the oddly timed flight. "Y/N!!" Many heads turned at the shout while so gasped and whispers started. She looked at him and froze. His eyes looked bloodshot and he wore baggy sweats and a AC/DC shirt. Turning back around she tried to get on the plane quicker, but a hand grabbed her arm. "Please listen to me. I'm so so sorry! I'm a fucking moron okay? I know I just keep screwing up between us and I know you're tired of me saying I'll change, but if it means I keep you in my life I'll do damn near anything." Tony's voice shook as his eyes welled with tears people crowed to see the Starks some seemed to clued in on the subject while others were lost. "You can't fix this Tony. There's nothing to fix between us you said your piece and actions speak louder then words there is no saving this." Y/n whimpered holding her hand in her own.

"I can save us, N/n! Please just give me a chance too. You and me against the world right?" She shook her head no as she looked into his brown eyes with her glassy e/c ones. "Wrong. You just don't get it do you? You don't save a marriage by sleeping with other people. And I gave you more then enough chances to change because God I changed so much for you!! I gave up saving people, gave up painting in the tower, stopped helping Pepper with business, stopped going to briefings, and so much more. All for you and you couldn't do one thing for me." With quivering hands she gently brushed the tears from his cheeks letting her hands go from his shoulders to his hands. "I loved you, Anthony. I always will have a special place in my heart for you, but clearly the same doesn't go for you." Y/n now held one of his hands bringing his knuckles to her lips giving them a chaste kiss.

She let go of his hand as she stepped back from him many of the passengers having already boarded the plane. "Don't say goodbye." He said voice small and weak. "...don't think of this as a goodbye. We just met at the wrong time in the wrong place. Maybe I'll come back to you and just maybe we can start again from the beginning, but until then this is a see you later." She turned and went on board as he stood their feet glued the the floor. Looking down at the hand she held the ring sat in his palm she left him with a piece of his heart while she took the rest with her. What is a marriage without love

————————————————————————————————————————————

A/n this is the second to last one before the full masterlist is posted. Fyi I wrote a happy ending and if it's really wanted I'll make a short one-shot of it but angst ending for now.

Next quote is a free space and I'm going ham!!!!

[sebstanseabass]

Afterglow (A Bucky Barnes AU fan fiction) - Chapter 17

Afterglow chapters

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

One of the advantages of being a photographer — or a self-taught photographer in your case — is having the ability to acquire an eidetic memory. You remembered the hat that the little bitch (a four-year old) was wearing when she pushed you off the swings in daycare, or the little stain on your father's doctor's lab coat when your family had to rush him to the hospital, or what Peter was wearing the day you guys first met (some oversized flannel he borrowed from Bucky), or the look on your ex-boyfriend's face when you punched him in the face for cheating on you.

The attention to every pretty little detail is, and always will be, a must, and so not remembering where you had seen Bucky before killed you, or rather, was killing you.

It was a normal morning, well, better than your normal mornings to say the least, with Bucky spending the night in your bed. This time, you woke up first, all wrapped in nothing but sheets and Bucky's arms just like yesterday. You rolled over to his side and admired him in his sleep. Then, sudden flashes of Bucky's face from before flooded your memory. You didn't know when exactly was before. It felt like a kind of a deja vu moment.

While eating Bucky's homemade breakfast, in your mind, you listed all the possible places where you could've seen him before: a café, a bar you once went to in college, a bookstore, a museum, a convivial gathering, a convenience store, and any other places you could've bumped into him.

The morning grew unusually quiet and clouded, eliciting concern from Bucky.

"You seem awfully quiet this morning." He observed. "Are you alright, doll?"

"Y-yes, I am."

"Uh-oh, was the sex not great last night?" He joked, nudging his elbow against yours.

You shook your head, trying to smile a little. Thankful that Bucky was trying to keep everything light. "No, no, it was great. You were great. It's just... I'm just quite anxious for today."

Today, you were going to Sam's office and to his store on Fifth Street, to discuss the details about the project. It wasn't what you had in your mind this morning but as you told Bucky about it, you realized you really were getting a bit nervous about the meeting. It was a big deal, after all.

Sam's business, The Falcons, was getting more recognition than you thought. He was now in near competition with Nike and Adidas, especially with the rumors of him releasing brand-new footwear, that could — and you quote one of the articles you read while on break — “overthrow the big leagues.” That alone, already put you in the spotlight. So, whatever you put out there should only be a success, and not a flop; because if it were a failure, you wouldn't only be humiliating yourself, but Bucky as well.

"You're gonna do great!" He assured you. "Plus, it's just a meeting. You two already seem to have a grasp on the project, anyway."

"Yeah." You sighed. "You're right."

You wanted to ask Bucky if you had ever, ever, met each other before — perhaps during a party where you’ve rescued Peter before? — but you bit your tongue to stop yourself. You already did when you met, anyway. And everything was going great between the two of you — whatever the hell this was; besides, labels are overrated nowadays — and you didn't want to say anything or do anything that could potentially ruin it. You were beyond happy in your little bubble, and you could tell Bucky was, too.

You brushed all those thoughts at the back of your mind as you and Bucky strolled through Sam's building's hallways, ironically telling yourself it was all just in your head, that you were just quite edgy about this damn meeting, that you were just thinking about Bucky all the damn time; and the more you told these things to yourself, the more you believed it, and the more you hoped you would never have these thoughts again.

Today, you wore something a bit different than what you usually wore down at the bar. A blazer and pants set, adorned with black and white stripes, a tube top inside, and a white belt that kept the blazer on your sides. You got the set when you and Bucky were out shopping on Monday, of course, Bucky paid for it no matter how many times you refused. Your hair was let down, all the ends flowing down your shoulders until the bottom of your breasts. Lips painted bright red (which Bucky really, really liked). A bit of shimmer on your eyelids as well.

Today was a huge deal and you wanted to look your best.

Bucky kept his hand on the small of your back the whole time you walked, giving a sense of comfort and familiarity you now learned to be fond of. He told the story of how he met Sam (at a bar, where else?), how he had seen him grow in the industry (all the ups and downs), and also how they've always supported each other — the three of them.

"Wait, the three of you?" You asked. "There's another one?"

Bucky almost wanted to stop in his tracks but decided against it. He avoided your gaze, his eyes straight down the hallway. "Yes, but we've fallen apart." He said. "He has his own thing now. Anyway, let's not talk about it. We have more important things to deal with today."

Before you could even ask what the name of this third friend was, Sam appeared at the end of the hallway, with his arms wide open, like a king opening his arms to his heir. Bucky, without leaving your side, proceeded to hug Sam only using his free arm, "Hey, man," he said, and retreated back afterwards.

On the other hand, you shook Sam's hand and gave him a smile.

"Hi, Sam." You greeted. "Nice to see you again."

"You too... y/n." Sam replied, hiding a smirk you knew he was itching to show, hiding the fact that he wanted to mock Bucky by calling you "babydoll."

"You guys made it in time." He said. "Come with me to the conference hall."

Sam led you to his right where a white long table stood in the middle with a bunch of vacant office chairs around. A projector sat on the center of the table, a series of displays of sports apparel lying around, perfectly organized by color. A blonde woman had her back on you, flipping papers on a clipboard. Once she heard you come in, she swiveled around and put the clipboard on the table.

"Y/n, this is Sharon Carter, my assistant and the project manager assigned for this new release." Sam spoke. "She knows everything there is to know about how my business works, all the ins and outs. And if in any case I won't be around, you can always rely on her."

"Hi, nice to meet you." You said.

Sharon Carter, instead of answering verbally, just offered you a smile and a small nod. Her gaze shifted towards Bucky, and then Sam. "Mr. Wilson, does he need to be here?"

"Always a pleasure to see you, Sharon." Bucky chuckled.

Sharon ignored him and continued to talk to Sam; well, tried to. "All the details in today's meeting are confidential and he — "

"He's good, Sharon." Sam cut her off. "I doubt he'll be interested in this, anyway. He's just here for his... doll." Sam chortled and Bucky winked and clicked his tongue in response. "Besides, he's the one who introduced me to y/n."

Sharon sighed in defeat and tried to smile at her boss. "Very well then."

"Please, take a seat." Sam offered, leading you towards the vacant chairs.

While walking towards the chairs, Bucky bent over on your side and whispered: "Don't worry, she's usually like that" which gave you relief.

"Good," you whispered back, "for a moment there, I thought she hated my guts."

"To be fair, she usually hates everyone's guts. Especially mine." Then, he placed a small kiss on your temple before pulling out a chair for you. "You'll do great, doll."

"Alright," Sharon started, glaring at Bucky, "shall we begin?"

The meeting lasted longer than you had liked it to be, and for a little while, it suddenly became an understanding of the difference between working with small, independent businesses and big businesses such as Sam's. Usually, you had a lot of artistic upper hand when it came to the small ones, seeing as they were still starting — and it was also where your college degree came in handy. You would talk to them about advertising, and marketing strategies through product photography. And that was that. But Sam's business already had something to start with.

Something already big.

In the middle of the presentation, Bucky reached for your hand under the table (which took you by surprise), hooking his pinky into yours.

"Just hold my pinky like this if this is too overwhelming for you." He whispered.

"Why the pinky?"

He just shrugged in response, a smile playing on his lips.

Sharon walked you all the way through it, careful not to miss any kind of detail, small or big: from the moment the business started (Sam working in retail, then reselling clothes, then making streetwear designs of his own until he landed on sporting apparels), and to what made the business grow what it is right now.

"Inclusivity." She continued, clicking on the next slide, "This is what The Falcons is going to be all about. Plus-size workout clothes, a huge array of colors suited for every skin tone — literally any color you can think of. We also have workout clothes and streetwear in one which means new designs and new materials. And of course, the new footwear. Bringing the light in speed, bringing new comfort, a new aesthetic, footwear for all. Again, inclusivity. Right in front of you," she pointed to all the sports apparel lying on the table, "are the new designs. We just received the first batch yesterday and we're expecting the second and last one hopefully this weekend just in time for the photoshoots any day next week."

"Me and the marketing team haven't actually discussed the photoshoot details, but they've had that with Sharon, seeing as she's the project head. All I have to do is approve it," Sam said, looking at you, "with you here, of course."

You nodded in agreement, then looked at Sharon. "Will we discuss, perhaps, half of it today?"

"Oh, I can discuss all of it." Sharon smugly replied. "I have a very promising proposal right here." She clicked the next slide, showing photos of various known models. "Let's start with the models. The new faces of the Falcons — "

"Hi, sorry. Can I weigh in on this one?" You interrupted as you scanned the faces of the models in front.

"I haven't finished yet."

You looked at Sam, who had his finger on his chin (assessing the situation), pleading with him with your eyes. "Go ahead, y/n." He said, nodding.

"Thank you, Sam." You replied then went back to the screen. "If I'm not mistaken, that's Kendall Jenner."

"Yes, it is."

"That's not exactly a new face." You argued. "And isn't she already an ambassador for Adidas?"

"It is a new face of The Falcons." She answered. "And she's actually ending her contract with Adidas. Something about breach of contract or some sort that I cannot legally discuss with outsiders."

"Where are the plus-size models?" You asked.

"I was actually getting to it." She clicked the next slide.

"Ashley Graham?"

"Yes, her. She's the perfect candidate."

You bit your lip, leaning forward on the table and unhooking your pinky with Bucky's. "Look, all of these models are gorgeous and handsome and good models but they're faces you see every single day on billboards — "

"Exactly. They're faces you see every single day." She repeated. "That means that these faces sell. And that's what we want for this release."

"I thought what you wanted was inclusivity." You frowned. "We should get people who are real athletes and models from different races, colors, and sizes. Real people, not these people you see every day on your phone or everywhere you go. These models are overrated, anyways." You faced Sam, who was listening intently. "Let's not get faces but stories instead. I believe that's what will separate The Falcons from these huge brands. It's a new release, right? Might as well make everything new."

Your words hung in the air, rendering the whole conference room quiet. Until Sharon broke it off. "Business doesn't work that way. I went to business school. I know how the system works."

You chuckled. "I majored in business and finance. Trust me, I know everything there is to know about business, not just you."

She was dumbfounded but tried to hide it, anyway. "But this is my proposal. You don't have a say on who we should get. You don't work for The Falcons."

"I know." You sighed. "But I'm working with you, and I have a say in this as much as you do." You glanced at Sam who was deep in thought. "But of course, Sam will always have the last say."

You leaned back in your chair, your chest heaving. With your eyes straight ahead, you grabbed Bucky's hand and hooked your pinky with his.

"Sharon," Sam started, "that was an excellent presentation and I humbly appreciate it but y/n does have a point. I wouldn't want these people representing The Falcons. I want people like me, people with stories to tell. Inclusivity isn't a marketing strategy, or a statement. It's what I believe in. And you," he swiveled his chair in your direction, "made a good case out of it."

You broke out in a smile, glancing at Bucky who also did the same. He now intertwined his fingers with yours, squeezing your hand three times.

"Sharon, find new models and athletes and have their profiles by next week. Let's think of it like... Kind of like a casting call." Sam said, standing up. "Now, let's dismiss this meeting 'cause I am starving."

-

"You have got to get a new assistant, Sam." Bucky groaned as you got inside Bucky's limo. You had lunch at some fancy restaurant in Manhattan before Sam showed you around the main store down Fifth Street.

You laughed, greeting Howard who gave you a smile through the rearview mirror. "She's the best assistant I could ever get."

"Please." Bucky said. "You could have better. She's just, ugh, I don't know, what's the word for someone who thinks she's better than everyone else in the room? Who hates practically everyone but goes to great, great lengths just to kiss your ass — "

"Alright, alright!" Sam cut him off, laughing. "I get it, man. But y'know I can't afford to lose her. It took me months to get a loyal and honest assistant."

"Ugh, fine."

"You just want her out because you're protecting your little babydoll."

"Jesus, Sam." Bucky said. "Stop calling her that."

"Yeah, stop calling me that." You frowned, leaning on Bucky's side and wrapping your hand around his muscular arm. "Only he gets to call me that."

"You guys make me sick." Sam joked.

You turned towards Bucky who had the end of his eyes, crinkled, and nose, scrunched. "Hey," you said, grabbing his attention, "did you get a text from Parker last night?"

His expression became relaxed, and looked at you. "Yes, actually. Something about a kid named Schmidt."

You chuckled. "Yeah, he's kind of a bully. Remind me to beat his ass when he comes to the bar. You won't miss him. He's got way too much gel in his hair, and too much of a know-it-all, kind of like, Ross Geller."

"Oh, I'd like to watch you beat someone up." Sam nodded, smirking. "You know what, I'd pay you to punch Parker."

"Oh come on, Sam." Bucky laughed.

"Nah, I'm kidding. I love that little kid. Speaking of Peter," Sam cleared his throat, "what are you guys gonna do when he gets back?"

You and Bucky fell silent, hooking your pinky with his once more. "We, uh," you glanced at Bucky who had his eyes on his shoes, "we haven't talked about it yet. But we will tell him, that's for sure. Right, James?"

His eyes shot up to yours, then at Sam. "Yes, yes, of course. I mean it's Peter. Of course, we'll tell him. Just not right away."

"What do you mean not right away?" You frowned.

"Well, we can't flat out tell the guy we're dating the moment he comes back. I don't want him to have a heart attack." Then, he bent down a little, leveling his mouth on your ear. "We are dating, right?"

"Well, we haven't talked about it and we're certainly not talking about it in front of Sam." You replied, glancing at Sam who was just staring at the both of you.

"We're here, Mr. Barnes." The partition pulled open, revealing Howard's voice. The three of you got out of the limo, the bar right just right in front. Before we even got to enter the bar, Sam tapped your shoulder and called out to Bucky.

"Do you mind if I borrow your girl for a moment? I'll just have to discuss something work-related."

Bucky turned around and glanced at the both of us. "Yes, sure." He pecked you on the lips then turned around to enter the bar.

"This is actually about Bucky." Sam said.

"Oh." You said. "Okay. What about Bucky?"

"I have to say, I haven't seen him that happy."

"Uh, isn't that supposed to be a good thing?"

"It is, it is! And I'm glad he has you."

"But?"

He sighed. "But just be careful with him. Look, y/n, he's a good guy and all; we're practically brothers... But he's a child. I've known him since we were teenagers. He's almost forty and not once has he had a serious relationship."

"What are you trying to say, Sam?"

"You've only known him for, what, a couple of weeks? Don't you think this is going a little too fast?"

"I like Bucky." You replied. "I genuinely do and what we do or how we do is honestly none of your business. It doesn't matter how long I've known him. I appreciate you looking out for Bucky, but Bucky's an adult. We're all adults here. We can handle ourselves."

"Just promise me one thing."

"Sure."

"Don't hurt my friend." He said. "He may act like this rich bitch just parading around town, getting by with his manly looks and shit, but he's a child. He doesn't know what he wants. If you hurt him, you'll also end up hurting yourself. So, be careful, alright? Think this through, and talk with him."

Silence.

"Promise me, y/n."

You nodded. "Yeah, I promise."

"Good. Now let's head in there, I need a drink."

"Wait, Sam." You said, making Sam stop in his tracks. "Do you think Bucky likes me as much as I do?"

"I can't say for sure." Sam replied before walking inside.

You leaned your back against the brick wall, hitting the back of your head. You closed your eyes, letting all your thoughts rush in.

Still feeling a little bit light-headed, you went inside (which was still empty except for Nat, Sam, and Bucky) and as soon as Nat's eyes landed on your figure, she whistled. "Oh wow, Mrs. Fancypants!"

You chuckled, removing your blazer, revealing the tight black tube top as it was getting a bit hot. "Shut up, Nat."

"Woah, somebody call the fire department 'cause it's getting hoooot in here!" Nat continued then tilted her head towards Bucky. "Hey big guy, if you're not gonna hit that, I will."

You rolled your eyes, chucking the blazer to her face. You turned to Bucky who was sitting in the usual booth with Sam. "She said the same thing to me about you."

"Don't expose me like that, y/n. Not. Cool."

You giggled, sliding in the booth and greeting Bucky with a kiss on the cheek. "Hey, you."

"Hey, doll." He smiled, placing his hand on your thigh and pulling you closer. "We were just talking about you."

You glanced at Sam, who was smiling at you. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah." Sam nodded. "Don't worry, it's all good. And, y/n... That thing we talked about earlier."

"What about it?" You asked.

"We're good." He answered. "And to answer that last question, he does."

You beamed. "Really? He does?" You asked, as if Bucky wasn't even in the room.

"Yes, he really does."

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" Bucky asked out of curiosity.

You glanced at Sam, smiling, "Oh, just this model I want for the shoot," and then you looked back at Bucky, "I was kind of having doubts for a hot minute over there about him, but, everything's fine. Everything's good."

"Good." He kissed your temple softly, making your heart flutter. "It should be."

[devilrainbunnie]

.- anthurium -.

X/2/3

shigaraki x reader

a/n: kind of an au, first piece! hope you guys like, i was feeling angsty. part two maybe?

CW: anxiety warning, cheating, manipulation, reader is depressed, sexual themes and description of sexual themes. minors DNI.

—

“for the millionth time, nothing is going on!” he snapped, rolling his eyes as he shuffled in his chair. fingers carefully laced around the hand held device. the vermillion eyes were full of fire, a fire that burned in agitation. towards you. he dared not to look into yours, for that would be almost like he was admitting to the accusations.

“then why do you smell like perfume that isn’t mine? why are you gone hours at a time without ever going to a meeting? why can’t you even do as little as look at me? why do you—“ your voice began to shake, feeling your fingers tremble with the hem of your shirt.

“you’re being paranoid, quit projecting your fucking insecurities on to me y/n. this conversation is over, now fuck off and let me relax.” he snarled, shifting his body away from your stance. he continued to play on his device, paying no mind to the girl with a river of tears pouring from her eyes.

you knew how it would end, and it always consisted of him leaving for the rest of the day. coming home the next morning, sometimes not even bothering to shower. you weren’t stupid. you could see the love bites on his scarred neck, his swollen lips, the way his sea foam colored locks were in a tangled bunch, he reeked of expensive perfume... you’d even found hair strands that weren’t either of yours. you knew, he knew that you knew, but he didn’t care that you knew.

it’s been going on since tomura was declared leader, king of this new group— the paranormal liberation front. since then, he’s put himself on such a high pedestal and his eyes began to wander. it wasn’t too noticeable at first, you thought you were just being insecure. because your boyfriend of over a year was beginning to spend less and less time with you. for the first time since you both got intimate, he stopped sleeping with you in your shared bed regularly. his often touch starved nature of wanting to be held and hold you constantly, began to stop. after a while, he wouldn’t so much as ruffle your hair anymore, or touch your back as he walked past. he stopped smiling at you.

he stopped loving you.

you noticed a specific girl with him from time to time, she was so different from you. outwardly sexy, confident, and most of all, she had him. she had beautiful emerald eyes, and dashing natural red hair. her figure was unbeatable. someone who would’ve been regularly out of his league, just due to her status, and often snobby nature. deep down, you knew that’s probably why he felt so enticed. she was unattainable. just like you had been to him once. he was always one to strive for the best, you guessed that meant lovers too.

you almost felt bad for him, considering the knowledge you had about her... she did this a lot. fucked around with higher ups as a way to gain better status, be placed in a higher rank, and get special privileges bother plf members wouldn’t originally receive. you’d heard this from dabi, she apparently tried to do the same thing to him, but he said, he “had better standards than that”.

you chuckled at dabi’s comment, you were the only one in the league he treated like a genuine friend. thankfully he could always make you crack a smile or two.

then like usual, the sadness came back.

there you were, alone in your shared apartment inside of the plf building. you sat at the edge of the windowsill in the living room, the lights were off. nothing but the distance sound of owls, wind, and branches to be heard. the moons glow to illuminate the scenery just a touch. your e/c eyes red, and glistened with the aftermath of an overbearing storm of a meltdown. your cheeks still burning, lips chapped and your hands doing anything else but standing still. since it got bad a few weeks ago with him, this is all you’ve been able to do. cry. let out your loud sobs all day, and whenever tomura was due to return, you’d go back to the way he preferred you. quiet, distant, and minding your business.

even with your quirk, your depression had led to all of the plants in each room to wilt. it’s almost poetic how accurate that displayed to your feelings— and of course, tomura didn’t even notice them.

anytime you did anything, it agitated him. there was no use in speaking, unless he was the one to initiate it. asking you what you made him for dinner, asking if you’ve seen a certain item of his, or asking you to do something for him, like stitch his tethered hoodie. sometimes telling you that he was annoyed with you being around dabi.

you began to nibble on your bottom lip again, trying to stop the fresh new wave of tears that threatened to spill. you promised yourself to not cry anymore, stop it. you stood from your spot, adjusting the simple outfit you wore. just usual long sleeve and leggings. using your sleeves to dry your face from the evidence of your overwhelming sadness. deciding that you should just take a shower, get ready for bed, and sleep. what else was there to do anyhow?

you soon felt refreshed, your heart still aches but the overwhelming pain subsided. you rested your head against the familiar scented cotton pillow case and grabbed his pillow. holding it close to your chest.

this is all i really have left of him now... wow.

—

the next day was seemingly uneventful. with a rare spotting of tomura coming in, showering, getting dressed, eating, and leaving once again. he paid you no mind the entire time. just simply glazing over your figure as you sat in different spots within the hour or two he was there. there were no words to he spoken. he didn’t even greet you when coming in. he just walked in the bedroom, rummaged around. looked at you as you were just waking up, and went about his business.

the pain settled in even more. every day it hit harder, and harder, but today, you were numb. the tears you held were all gone. you couldn’t cry, you couldn’t aimlessly sob. nothing. the core of you was empty.

“how much longer can i take of this...” you whispered to yourself tucking your knees to your chest. arms protectively wrapped around yourself.

you looked over to the once beautiful anthurium, it was completely wilted. the vibrant red petals were beginning to fall off. that plant was the one you connected the most with, it had a piece of your soul with it at this point. it would’ve been an easy fix to keep it from dying. one touch, and it would be right back to normal.

would the flower remember it’s neglect? the times you slacked on giving it water and proper daylight? would it simply forgive so easily just by your touch? can you forgive him, just by his touch?

“i don’t know.”

—

days had passed, he hadn’t come by since that night to your knowledge. sometimes you stepped out for a bit, just to clear your mind. you began to grow anxious, something was wrong. definitely wrong. you needed to know, to have some closure. every minute that passed seemed to crush you, it felt as if the world was ending.

against your better judgement, you got dressed. fixed your hair, and shakily tried to calm yourself down as you looked in the mirror. overanalyzing every single detail about your appearance, you looked like hell.

you were planning to go searching for tomura around the building. maybe even ask dabi if he had seen him. you stepped into your converse, taking deep breaths as you prepared yourself to find whatever might lie ahead. the feeling in your stomach didn’t stop churning.

one touch can’t fix it.

he won’t fix it.

he doesn’t want you.

you hugged the jacket tighter to your frame, feeling clammy and weak in the knees as you began to search around. he wasn’t anywhere you were looking, you checked everywhere you usually found him. you came across dabi before stepping into the elevator. he seemed concerned, he grabbed your shoulder before you walked away.

“y/n?” he quietly asked. his tone laced with anxiety.

“o-oh, hey.” your trembling form turned to face him. “long time no see.”

“what the fuck is going on?”

“it’s nothing, don’t worry about it—“

“don’t lie to me.” he cut you off, his voice laced with venom. he was always like a big brother figure to you, always protective and so easy to catch on. “what’s going on y/n? do i have to kill that creepy little fucking gremlin?” he snarled.

“n-no! no! it’s fine, really. i’m just uh, trying to find him that’s all.” you said sincerely. your voice wavering the entire way, stepping away from his hold on you.

“y/n don’t walk away from me, talk to me about this. you look like shit.” he called after you.

“i’m sorry.” you said in a voice so small he barely was able to grasp it. dabi just stared at you with disbelief, and anger.

—

then came the room you dreaded most. subconsciously you wanted to search it last, due to fear of what you might see.

you knew he was cheating, but you were in denial until you could see it.

you were about to give up and go back to your room before you heard a specific sound. coming from the office tomura used most often, but wasn’t always in. the way the table sounded against the wall and hardwood of the floors made your body tense, the breathless panting, the high pitched moaning... and worst of all, the sound of tomura groaning in pleasure. did your ears deceive you? bile threatened to shoot from your stomach. you eased open the office door, to a sight you wish you never saw. there was tomura, thrusting into the girl you feared and envied most. he was lost in lust, suckling, kissing, and grabbing every part of her flesh that was visible. like he used to do to you.

used to.

you stood there in horror, feeling like everything was crumbling before you. he didn’t even notice your peering eyes staring right into the depths of his soul, and hers. his groans got louder, he muttered something he hadn’t told you in such a long time. it made you want to scream so loud that your lungs bled.

“f-fuck, i— love you.”

you shakily slammed the door behind you. hard, and heavy breaths struggling to be let out, as you ran to the elevator. smashing the buttons to go back to your room. tears streaming down your face once again, you let out hushed cries, trying to regain your composure. as you ran to your room. it happened all in a daze, you loudly cried as you packed some of your things into a backpack, hating that things still smelled like him. you sobbed finding old polaroids if each other. deciding to throw the stack at the wall above the bed.

once you had everything ready, you realized something. you were still wearing a necklace he gave you a bit ago. it was a small anthurium made of ruby. you held the delicate item in your hands, debating what to do with it. the burden of owning it haunting you much more than letting it go, so that’s what you did. you placed the necklace on the counter. grabbing the notepad that was usually on the counter as well to write a quick note on top for him to find. your eyes flooded over the room, drinking it in as much as you could before leaving. all of the memories, decorating it with tomura, having sex for the first time on the bed, the first time he came home like he often did now... you felt a sob threatening to release again as you recounted the memory.

lastly you dropped the key next to the necklace, never to be seen again.

you exited the building with little hassle, tears still free falling across your face like usual. the hood of your jacket was up to conceal yourself, you wanted to leave without a trace. luckily it was late enough to do so, the only person who spotted you was spinner. for some reason he was alone by himself outside. he seemed concerned about your disheveled and unfamiliar appearance. but he didn’t utter a word to you, letting you walk out before him. you wondered what he thought of your pathetic sobbing form pacing out of the entrance.

you barely had a plan, a place to go for that matter. all that mattered now, was you.

you need to let go.

he can’t fix it this time.

don’t let him fix it this time, y/n.

>>>

tomura arrived to the apartment hours after you had left, he wasn’t expecting anything but a nice hot shower and a warm bed to sleep in. his body was sore from the steamy evening he spent with the red head. she really rocked his shit, he chuckled at the thought of her.

he didn’t bother to look around the main room, before heading straight into the bedroom. the light was on, which wasn’t that unusual. what was unusual though, was the mess around the room. the closets were wide open, pieces of film thrown all over the bed, and floor. at first he was mad, barging into the bathroom to yell at you. flipping on the light, to see nothing. you weren’t in the bathroom, or bedroom.

“y/n why did you leave everything such a mess? why did you throw pictures everywhere? what the fuck is going on?!” he called out to you. annoyed. like usual. he walked out of the bedroom, noticing finally, you weren’t here. “y/n.” he spoke sternly.

he walked cautiously around the space, looming over every detail, not able to make out your form anywhere. he remained calm but he was a bit worried, you were acting super unstable lately. though he’d never let you know that. he seemingly searched everywhere in depth, before he noticed some items on top of the island counter. switching on the light switch to get a better look. his heart sunk.

the necklace he gave you.

the beautiful ruby anthurium he gave you.

the one you wore every day since.

the one he gave to you as a promise to his love, the love he promised to be undying.

“fuck...”

along with the key to the apartment.

the one you both shared.

he noticed the note, it was written in your handwriting.

‘i hope you love her as honestly as you once loved me. i left everything behind i never want to see again. i won’t be ratting you out and i won’t be returning to you.

good bye, thanks for the memories.

y/n.’

[whump-a-la-mode]

Gilded Cage - Part 7

I can only describe this as tooth-rotting fluff. Our whumpee deserves it!

Thank you so much to everyone for going through this story with me. I’ve had so much fun.

@worstcasescenariolullaby

CW//Hospital setting, medical talk, talk of broken bones, talk of surgery, altered states of mind, mentions of death, mentions of building collapses, conspiracy

“Are you sure about this?” Sidekick’s face twisted in a mask of concern.

“I’m sure.” Villain nodded.

“The Heroes...”

“The city won’t let this happen again. Come visit me in hospital sometime, okay? I’ll be okay.”

“Okay.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The felt piece on the bottom of the chess pawn had long since worn away, leaving a dull screeching noise in its wake as Villain moved the piece forward on the board. In expectation, they raised their head to their opponent, before gazing back down at the board. Examining the playing field. Furrowing their brows.

“Don’t hurt yourself.” Their opponent, Old Friend, spoke, their tongue filled with equal parts laughter and playful teasing. “And... there goes your rook.”

“What!” Villain’s gaze darted about the board, before grumbling and removing their fallen piece, adding it to a quickly growing pile. “You’re cheating.”

“How does one cheat at chess?”

“By being better than me. There, okay, there goes your pawn.”

“And there goes your knight.”

“Asshole. Come on, you have to have a secret. You gotta tell me.”

Old Friend smiled.

“You’re so intent on taking my pieces that you don’t worry about your own. Also, I was in the chess club back in school, so...”

“Nerd.” Villain stuck out their tongue.

“Alright, candle boy.”

“Hey! I told you-”

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just really funny.”

“I could disintegrate a candle-”

“I know, I know. It’s your move, dude.”

“Fine. Is turning the board to ash a valid chess move?”

“There’s enough fire damage on the pieces as it is. Candle boy.”

“At least come up with something better than that. Like... Like blowtorch. That sounds cool.”

“Blowtorch? What are you, like, seven?”

“Eh, there’s worse villain names out there.”

“You don’t have one yet, do you?”

“Nah. I’m not that breed of cocky. They just call me the arsonist, I think.”

“That’s pretty underwhelming.”

“Meh.”

Again, Villain studied the board a moment. They sent a rook forwards, knocking over a knight on the other side.

“Your move.”

Old Friend nodded, and, for a few moments, they sat like that. Accompanied by nothing but the sounds of the city and the scraping of pieces on the board.

“Did Violet ever have a name?”

It took Villain a few moments to register the question. They moved a piece before looking up.

“What, like a villain name?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t think so. You could ask her.”

“Aw, man, you haven’t heard?”

Villain frowned, lips pursing together to form a thin line.

“She’s gone?”

“Bridge collapse. I was always warning her, taking roots out of the ground like that is gonna make something fall eventually. Just so happened to be right on top of her. It’s a shame, really. Gonna have to find somewhere else to get our lettuce, now.”

“Not funny.”

“I know. And... check.”

“What?”

“Checkmate.”

“Again?”

“Again.”

Villain shoved the board away from themself, sitting back and stretching their arms above their head. Old Friend swiped the remaining pieces from the board, beginning to once again set the stage for their next game.

“This time, think about the risk you might be putting your pieces in. It’s not worth it, losing a knight to take out a pawn, y’know?”

“I guess.”

“What’s got you acting so sad all of a sudden?” Old Friend looked up. “Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m gonna get a candle.”

“Okay. You good?”

“I just... I just need a candle.”

Villain stood, stiff legs aching with pins and needles as they moved across the small, damp-walled apartment. The kitchen, or what was little more than a countertop with a fridge and microwave, was barren, snack bowls long since left with nothing but crumbs.

They drew open the door of one of the wall-mounted cabinets, unveiling a series of shelves, stacked with white pillars of wax. Most lumpy and misshapen, the rest bent and folded in on themselves. Villain selected one, moving back to where Old Friend had just finished resetting the board. They sat in their spot, a place already well worn into the carpet.

“Do you want to play again?” Old Friend’s voice had grown quiet, concerned.

“Yeah... Just give me a second.”

“Need to let it out?”

“Yeah.”

The firebrand gripped the white-waxed candle in one hand, then the other. Feeling the film transfer from palm to palm. The flame in their stomach answered the call without hesitance. They had already felt the heat, struggling to escape into their veins.

It was slow, at first. The wax did not melt, simply molding itself, bulging and shifting as to allow Villain’s fingers to make their mark. Their eyes fixed upon the process: The control of it. The way in which the wax moved only on their call.

It helped them breathe.

“Violet...” They began, frowning again. “That’s the second bridge accident this year.”

“There’s a lot of bridges, to be fair.”

“But not a lot of collapses.”

“What are you saying?”

“It seems so much like a coincidence, but... How many have we lost, this year?”

“Violet and Argyle, uh, Aaron I think. Dana and Evelyn and-”

“And what month is it?”

“April?”

“Exactly.”

“I mean, we lose a lot, but...”

“And they’re always accidents. Car crashes. Building fires. Drownings. But they’re not accidents.”

The wax yielded with more readiness. A few droplets fell, deftly caught by Villain’s other hand.

“What do you mean, they’re not accidents? I don’t think people drown on purpose.”

“Well, yeah. But that’s not what I mean. If they were actually accidents, you would think they’d happen at random times. But-”

“It’s always when the Heroes are around. Always during battle.”

“Exactly.”

“I don’t think the Heroes are doing it on purpose, though. I mean, they wouldn’t just blow up a bridge to kill one villain. The battles just get too intense, I think. I mean, how many times have you almost died in battle?”

“A lot.”

“Same here. That’s all.”

“No. No.” Villain shook their head. “I’ve almost died many times. But I haven’t died. Because I’m not stupid. And the others weren’t, either.”

“I don’t think the Heroes are killing people, Villain.”

“Then what else are they doing?”

“I don’t know, protecting the city? Whatever nonsense they say.”

“Protecting the city from us. Supposedly. But it seems like they’re a hell of a lot more focused on these big battles.”

“That’s kind of our fault, to be fair.”

“Is it? Most of our didn’t choose this life.”

“We’re still doing, I mean, crimes. Like, we’re definitely criminals.”

“Then they should be taking us to prison.”

“Isn’t that what they do?”

“When is the last time you heard of anyone going to prison?”

“I mean, uh... What about Jared?”

“You mean the one they got in a van that then mysteriously exploded?”

“Oh. Right. What about, uh, didn’t they get Kara?”

“Yeah. And then pronounced her dead at the hospital.”

“Okay. Maybe... maybe you have a point.”

Between Villain’s fingers, a single droplet of candle wax fell.

“Yeah.”

Old Friend sighed.

“Do you want to play again?”

“Mhm.”

Villain drew the heat from their palms, allowing the remnants of the candle to solidify in their hands. They placed it down, then, though droplets of white still stuck to their fingers.

“I think...” Old Friend looked down at the board, considering their first move. “I think if the Heroes ever capture you, you’ll find they’re a lot kinder than you expect.”

Villain snorted in laughter.

“If the Heroes ever capture me, there will nothing left of my body to find.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

“It’s a miracle.”

“It is. The damage they sustained... I can hardly believe that there’s enough blood left in them to keep them alive.”

“Hardly any blood. Hardly any body, either.”

“Yeah.”

“A real miracle. The guys down in Radiology, they thought we got the scans mixed up. They confused them for those of the guy in the other room. The motorcycle crash one.”

“That makes sense. To think that a human did this...”

“Not a normal human. A lot stronger than a normal human.”

“But with the same morals as a normal human.”

“You’d hope so.”

“Oh. Crap, looks like they’re waking up. Let’s give a bit more propofol... They need their rest.”

Villain’s closed eyes twitched, as though dreaming. At least, they did not think they were dreaming. It was hard to say, these days...

Had it been days? Or just a couple of hours? They tried to think, to remember, but the will to do so was deeply buried under blankets and bitter-tasting medicines. They longed to sit up, to move, to open their eyes, but those thoughts came from such a small part of their mind. The rest of them was so tired...

The numbness, now, was softer. Warmer. It was not a force of overwhelming heat, laughing at them and telling them to forget their pain, to keep moving. Instead, this time, the numbness was simply warm. Pleasantly so. Urging them to rest, to sleep, to ignore the taste of iron on their tongue that refused to go away.

Sleeping and wakefulness, to them, felt to be a sliding scale. They spent much time at the former end, in blissful unconsciousness, but had yet to find themself at the latter. They struggled for it, struggled to get close, but their anxious murmurs and twitching were always responded to with soft words and hands and more warmth in their veins.

Vilain was floating for a moment. Again, the hundredth time, they struggled to part their lips, but only managed to exert effort to no end.

“Their leg... I’ve never seen anything like it before.”

“Are you sure they’re strong enough for this?”

“Yeah. We can’t wait any longer. The bone will heal wrong if we wait any longer.”

“Okay.”

The numbness was stronger, that time.

“Villain? Villain?”

Their eyelids twitched, again.

“They said you’d opened your eyes, earlier...”

There was more softness, in that tone. Not the pitying notes of a doctor or nerve-wracked surgeon, but the warm coaxing of a friend.

The hand on their wrist was cold.

Their fingers twitched, then their lips. They tried to utter out a syllable, but only managed a shaky breath.

“Yeah, that’s it. Thank you. Do you remember me?”

Did they? They weren’t sure what they remembered, anymore. They remembered being here. They remembered the blankets and the half-hearted attempts by the nurses to coax them into swallowing a spoonful of jello.

“It’s Doctor. Do you remember me? Do you remember Doctor?”

“Doctor?”

The word came out more like a croak. Their eyes twitched with more furor this time, until, at long last, the world flooded into sterile existence around them. They got distracted, a moment, by the pattern of white tiles above.

“There you go!” There was genuine pride in that voice. “I knew you could do it.”

“Mmm.”

“Can you hear me?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” That cold hand moved from their wrist to their hand. Trying to hold it, to embrace their fingers. But Villain did not have the strength for such a thing. “I’m so sorry, Villain. I’m so sorry.”

“F- for what?”“

“I- I almost killed you! Had you stayed under my care... I’m sorry.”

Villain blinked a moment, trying to think.

“You...” Their throat felt so terribly raw. “You were right.”

“It wasn’t right to let Hero try to kill you.”

“No... Not that. You said, uh, about warmth. ‘Bout heat.”

There was a smile. Villain did not have to see it to know that it was there.

“You understood?”

“Yes. On th’stage.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you did good.”

“I get it, now. I think... Heat can, uh, it can destroy buildings.” Their words were awfully drawn out, hard to understand through their lengthy slurring. “But it can also... bake cookies.”

Doctor laughed, at that.

“You’re right. You’re right.”

Villain’s fingers finally agreed to move, wrapping around Doctor’s hand.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, Villain.” Another sigh. This one, warm. “Have you heard, what they’re saying about you? You lost so much blood. And your organs were all over the place. It’s a miracle that you survived.”

The grasp on Villain’s hand tightened.

“They said you only lived because you wanted to. Because you really, really wanted to survive. Is that right?”

“I... I think it is. Yeah.”

“Yeah. I’ll be back, okay? Get some rest.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

It was three weeks after, that they were allowed to have any more visitors. Three weeks of medicines and surgeries and treatments and x-rays. It all blurred in their mind, until the calendar held as little meaning to them as the results of their blood tests.

They weren’t healed. Certainly not. But wakefulness no longer felt like such a monumental effort.

The jello tasted like nothing as they placed it upon their tongue. Nothing but sugar and sweetener, desperately trying to mask the tastelessness of gelatin. By the time the door opened, which it did with such a force that Villain wondered if it had been struck with a battering ram, they were almost done with the cup of overly-sweet dessert.

They jumped, nearly dropping their plastic spoon as their gaze snapped upwards. For a split second, the figure in the doorway made their limbs begin to shake, a familiar pressure reviving on their neck. But, it only lasted a second.

Sidekick looked different. Their stature was the same, certainly, as well-muscled as ever, but it was no longer draped in any sort of uniform. Instead, a grey sweatshirt struggled to contain their form, marked with the logo of some sports team or another.

Villain took another bite of jello.

“Good news.” Sidekick’s smile had the same media allure that Hero once showed the cameras, sending a shiver down Villain’s spine. They strode nearer, confident steps striking the tile floor. Compared to them, Villain felt terribly small. “Come on, don’t you want to hear it?”

Another bite and the cup was empty. They placed it down on the small table next to their bed.

“Um... Yeah. Okay.” They could not muster up nearly enough energy to match that of their visitor.

“Okay, so, J- sorry, uh, you-know-who, they found the video. The real one. Without all the edits.”

“That’s... good.”

“Mhm. We have news stations willing to broadcast it, too. Put some doubt on the story, right?”

“Right.”

“You... Don’t seem as excited as I remember you being.”

“Sorry.” Villain’s gaze cast downwards. “I’m still just a little tired, and all.”

“Oh. Well, that makes sense. You got hurt pretty bad. Do you have any idea when you might be out of here?”

“Not really.”

“I’ll try to ask a nurse or something. When you’re strong enough, though, we’ve got this whole plan. You’re gonna be, like, our emissary. Between us and the villains, yeah?”

“Uh... why?”

“Well, I mean, the Heroes only really exist to stop you and the other villains. If we can just... convince them to stop doing villain stuff, then the public will start the see that the Heroes are, y’know, not all their cracked up to be.”

Villain struggled to suppress a smile. They couldn’t imagine trying to ask some of their former cohorts to all of a sudden go on the straight and narrow.

Still, even beneath the blankets and the medicine, they felt the smallest scrap of warmth return. A tiny ember, floating in their stomach.

The opportunity to turn their pain into something other than nightmares and tears in the hospital bed’s pillow.

“When I’m out of here... well, we’ll have to see, I guess.”

“That’s all we can really hope for. Now, uh, I kind of have to go. They’re about to notice I broke a window.”

“You w-”

“Sorry! Gotta go!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

It was the smell that made Villain recognize their second visitor, more than their appearance.

They looked different. Quite different. Taller, slightly, with tight cords of muscle now curling about their neck. Nothing like the tiny twig they’d once known.

It looked like they’d finally hit their growth spurt, after all. A decade late.

The scent that they carried with them was one of freshly cut wood, the rural stench of sawdust, accompanied by the damp musk of a home long forgotten.

“Holy shit, candle boy.”

Four words. Four stupid words, uttered the moment Old Friend walked through the door.

Villain burst out laughing.

Not laughter of sorrow, or of venom. True laughter. The warmth that filled their chest this time had nothing to do with flame.

“So, am I allowed to hug you, or...”

“There’s no doctors here to tell us not to.”

“Good point.”

The warmth in Villain’s chest only increased with Old Friend’s embrace. Their friend buried their head in their shoulder. The tears wet quickly through Villain’s hospital gown.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“You didn’t have anything to do with it.”

“I should have-”

“It’s in the past, now. I’m just so glad you’re alive.”

“Just to be clear... you’re not a good guy?”

“I don’t know what I am. But I’m still your friend.”

“That’s all I care about.”

The embrace broke off after over a minute, though it was still far too soon.

“We have an apartment. Me and Aggie and some others.” Old Friend stepped back. “We have a room all set up. Even found some of your old stuff. I know it’s gonna be a while, but... you’ve always got somewhere to go, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The End

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

I can’t thank you guys enough for reading through this story and experiencing it with me. This is the end of this story, but I hope to make another one soon!

There is no next part, so there are no story paths to choose from for next time. But, I still have options to pick from. I want to hear what you think Villain’s choice will be!

A) Be a hero. Go with Sidekick, and liberate the city

B) Be a friend. Return to Old Friend. Make life good again.

[candychronicles]

boo // d. kaminari

A/N: this is my take on the horror, haunts and halloween bnharem server collab! 

CHARACTER PAIRING: Denki Kaminari x Reader

WORD COUNT: 2,315

WARNINGS: unprotected sex, car fucking, some extremely mild spooks

SYNOPSIS: who knew a little bet between friends could turn into so much more?

Want to see what other spooky, scary stories await? Click here to find out !

“boo!” 

“damnit Kaminari, you scared the hell out of me!” you screeched, whipping around to smack your friend on the shoulder. “besides, you should save all of the screams for the house tonight!”

he shrugged his body, clearly not bothered by your comment before proceeding to the men’s dressing area, makeup already adorned on his body. he was performing tonight as a sort of scary chainsaw man with bloodshot eyes and a dark streaked face. despite the outwardly appearance of his costume, he was, at least to you, a funny and extremely attractive guy. you two had spent your whole fall flirting and teasing in between hallways and sets, having fun and making people scared at the same time. 

you never meant to work at a haunted house, but you needed the money, and it seemed much more exciting to get paid scaring people and dressing up in cool costumes over working a seasonal retail job. due to your ability to at least fake a scary and eccentric personality, they hired you immediately, along with a few other people your age. you figured it would be a good way to meet new people and have fun but you were certainly not expecting to fall in love with the dorky yet extremely talented kid with the cool hair and outlandish jokes. 

your time in the dressing and makeup room didn’t take too long, adorning a creepy maid outfit with sunken black eyes and a wicked bloody smile. twirling the braids adorning your head, you skipped out of the room, ready to get into character and have another night of spooks.

“hey, let’s make a bet tonight, hm? make it a little more interesting?” Kaminari offered, sliding in beside you like he had been there all along.

“sure, what do you propose?” 

“let’s see who can get the loudest scream of the night. we’ll both be generally near each other, so no cheating or lying because i’ll be able to tell!”

“how are we going to measure that? what if it’s really close, what are you going to do about that?”

“rock, paper, scissors?” he countered, flashing his hands and gesturing the game with a devious smile.

“sure, why not. what do i get if i win?”

“anything you want, sugar.”

you attempted to ignore the comment, though your cheeks heated up and your eyes grew just a bit wider.

“how about you owe me dinner tonight?” you joked, flashing your own toothy grin.

“that all, dollface? i’d do that any day.”

“oh boo, that’s boring. make him wear your maid costume or something!” Kirishima shouted from across the hall, seemingly butting into your increasingly heated conversation. 

“now that’s an idea,” you teased, laughing along with Kirishima as Kaminari’s face turned bright red. 

“that’s nothing! i’d do that any day,” he claimed, quickly moving on, “but i say if i win then you owe me dinner. easy enough?”

you nodded your head in agreement, shaking on it and pressing your pinkies together for extra emphasis before heading towards your separate destinations, ready for the challenge.

the night started off easy, you both earning screams of varying levels, but every time you got one, he shot right back with yet another. your jaw clenched and eyes grew dark, not backing down from the fight.

the whole evening and late through midnight did you two fight back and forth, tooth and nail, bringing out your nastiest and scariest tricks, doing everything you could to jumpscare and creep out the people of the attraction, but it seemed that neither of you were a clear winner. you, however, were not going to let him get the satisfaction of saying he won.

the final group of the night came through and you managed a loud, shrieking scream from the guy in the front, a wicked smile on your face as you waved at Kaminari down the hall. he retaliated with his own scare but, at least you thought, it didn’t quite live up to your own haunt.

“i totally won, i don’t even know what you’re talking about!” he shrieked, shoving fries in his face with a huff, waving his arms around in a display of anger.

“my scream was louder and you know it. just admit it, i was better than you tonight!” you argued back, leaning forward to look him directly in the eye, challenging him to keep up the fight.

he looked away, cheeks tinged pink at your sudden closeness, before crossing his arms and looking back at you. 

“fine, i’ll pay for the food, but i still don’t think you won. i can make anyone scream louder than you.”

“oh yeah? why don’t you prove it?” you challenged, eyes unwavering and boring straight into the side of his face. 

he took a moment to ponder, unsure of what you meant, before he looked back, pupils blown wide in shock.

“waiter, i need the check please.”

it took all of thirty seconds after leaving the dingy late night restaurant before his mouth was on yours, hot and unwavering, hands tangled deep into the back of your hair, digits pressing roughly into your scalp.

“where to?” he asked in between kisses, walking backwards as you trailed after him, hands grasping his shirt like it was your only lifeline. 

“whatever’s closest,” you whispered back, feeling him hit the car with the back of his body.

he quickly whipped around, fishing frantically for the keys in his pocket before shoving the shiny object into the lock and twisting, whipping the door open and gesturing you sweetly into the car. 

before you had barely sat down, he slammed the door, rushing to the other side and opening his own door, sinking in and turning the vehicle on, haphazardly buckling his seatbelt as he peeled out of the parking lot towards his apartment.

the bad part about working at a haunted house was that it was in the almost middle of nowhere. there was a small town with a couple restaurants and stores, but most workers came from the college town over, meaning you two had a small drive before you made it back to either of your apartments. 

Kaminari gripped the steering wheel tight, his knuckles turning white from the pressure of trying to drive safely while getting there as fast as he could. his teeth ground into each other, face set in a harsh frown, stress permanent on his face.

“relax, we’ll get there eventually. you’ll kill the mood with your sour face,” you teased, reaching sideways to place your hand on his thigh. his body jumped at your touch, briefly turning to face you before veering off onto the side of the road, seemingly finding some close down parking lot with a few trees surrounding the area.

“i’m sorry, you’re just driving me crazy. you don’t know how badly i’ve wanted you, since the day i first met you. you were so cocky and confident in your interview, ready to have fun and be crazy in your acting, but the moment you stepped away, you became so sweet and kid, always greeting everyone with a smile and a wave. i couldn’t get enough of your duality, enamored in the way you could switch that smirk on like it was nothing. seeing you in that dainty little maid outfit you’re wearing doesn’t help all that much,” he confessed, wringing his hands together as he attempted to calm himself down. “truth be told, i don’t want to be that shitty guy who you think is only using you for sex, but after that little stunt you pulled in the restaurant, i don’t think i can wait any longer to fuck you.”

you blinked once, twice, three times, trying to process what he was saying before unbuckling your seatbelt and veering towards his body, chests pressed together as you managed to climb into his lap, attacking his lips with your own, relishing in the way he practically melted under your touch, eager to feel you on him once again.

“backseat. now.”

you climbed back without hesitation, flashing him a bit of your ass as you wiggled your way onto the seat, patiently waiting for him to come back. he followed without waiting, immediately pulling your legs onto the seat and hovering over you, hands on either side of your head.

“are you sure you want to do this?” he confirmed, brushing away a couple pieces of hair that was scattered across your face.

“yes, i’m sure. please fuck me.”

he wasted no time before attaching himself to you once again, lips finding purchase on your own, against your neck, your collarbone, unbuttoning the front of your costume to nip at your breasts, leaving marks that would surely last for days. despite the cramped position you two were in, you still felt slick pool in your panties, thighs rubbing against the side of his body as you attempted to create some friction to relieve the tension building up.

you whined, begging for more, but before you could speak up to ask him for something, anything, he had already obliged, reaching down to rub the pad of his thumb against your clothed nub. you moaned in response, the need for him only growing by the minute.

“please, Kaminari-”

“Denki, call me Denki,” he corrected, nipping at your throat as his fingers moved under the skirt and around your panties, “and don’t worry baby, i’ll take care of you tonight.”

with that final statement, he pulled your panties aside completely and pushed one finger slowly into your waiting body, shivering at the feeling of your wet insides sucking him in, greedily begging for more. your breaths became uneven and labored, but you remained patient, enjoying every feeling he pulled from your wanting cunt.

he continued his assault on your neck and chest as his fingers pumped in and out of you, adding one, two more fingers, stretching you out until you were sopping and begging for his cock. he paused for one moment, hastily pulling his pants down as best as he could. before he could get to his boxers, however, you reached past his hand, pulling them down and stroking his dick, admiring the way it twitched in your hands, swollen and leaky, wanting to be inside of you just as much as you need him. 

you pulled him back down by his shirt collar, kissing him fiercely as he adjusted his body once more, you aligning him to your entrance, legs hiked up around his body as he caged you in. he sunk in slowly, not holding back his moans as he appreciated the way your body sucked him in, like he was meant to be there all along.

you moaned with him, a string of curses and praises flowing out of your mouth like a siren’s song, luring him into your lair one word at a time. 

“Denki, fuck, you feel so good. please don’t stop.”

he bottomed out in your, laughing when you shifted your hips, whining as you tried to get him to move. he pressed a chaste kiss to your head before rolling his own hips back, shivering at the feeling of you wrapped around him. he continued his pace slowly, rocking in and out of you, watching the car steam up from your breathy moans and sweat covered skin, feeling the car move in tandem with your bodies.

you arched your back and wrapped yourself around him as best as you could, dazzled by the feeling of his cock pistoning in and out of you. he was so close, his breath against your ear, and you relished in the way he moaned and sighed, feeling just as good as you were in that moment. 

he felt himself getting close much quicker than he wanted, but in that moment, he didn’t care, too enveloped in the way you squeezed around him, nails biting into his back and eyes screwed shut. he moved one hand back down in between your bodies and found your sensitive bundle of nerves, pressing down and swirling around, moaning as he felt you compressed around his cock, the new sensation overwhelming for you.

“fuck, baby, i’m so close,” he moaned, settling his head into your neck, biting down softly into your shoulder.

you only nodded back in response, too worried about chasing your own high that was emerging quickly with the combined pleasure of his cock and his fingers.

you arched your back and squeezed your thighs together as white hot lava shot through your lower stomach, cumming intensely on his cock. the feeling of your velvety walls pulsating around his own quickly brought him to his own high as he slowed his pace down, shooting his load into you.

you both laid there, breathless and sweaty, before you looked at him and erupted in giggles, wiping some of the sticky hair off his face. 

“i really liked that,” you confessed, biting your lip and smiling shyly despite the position you two were still currently in. 

“me too,” he agreed, kissing your forehead before slowly pulling out, sitting up and reaching forward into his console to grab a stack of napkins, cleaning you and himself up as best as he could.

you sat up after him, dizzy from pure elation, before a smirk came across your face.

“so you’re saying i won the bet, right?” 

“i feel like i won the lottery tonight so yes, i’ll say you won the bet.”

“good,” you affirmed, reaching forward to grab his face in your hands, squeezing slightly before bringing him closer to you, “remember what Kiri said? i think i’m going to take his words to heart.”

he looked at you confused, shrugging, but as you stared at him, his eyes grew wide once more as he realized what you meant.

“you get to wear the maid costume next.”

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[dreamescapeswriting]

The Fun Fair ~ PJM [M] [Reqest]

↬↬↬Word Count: 2.6K

↬↬↬Genre: ANGST

↬↬↬Pairing:Jimin x Fem!Reader

↬↬↬A/N: I personally don’t like the term crazy so I’m not going into too much of what happens with Jimin afterwards but I hope this is okay.

↬↬↬TRIGGER WARNINGS: Suggestive comments made my drunken men, men grabbing you, drunken states, murder, blood, angst, physical abuse.

It had been three months since Jimin and she who shall never be named again had broken up and you had finally picked up the pieces of his shattered heart and put them back together. Three months since your best friend showed up on your doorstep crying and sobbing about how she'd ripped his heart out and broken it into pieces, you wanted to kill her the moment he showed up. You'd warned her when they first started dating that if she ever hurt him you'd kill her, rip her head off and a bunch of other threats that slipped your mind. 

"You okay?" Jimin asked as he looked up at you, you were on his sofa looking at the TV screen as you watched some Romantic movie about how the friend and the best friend always got together at the end of the movie and it made you think of your crush on Jimin. 

"Wanna go out?" You spat out before you could even think about what you were saying, Jimin started at you while he blinked. 

"What?"

"I mean- No...Yes, do you want to go out on a date?" If he started laughing you could just tell him you meant with someone else other than you but if he agreed then all of your dreams were going to come true and you wouldn't have to hide how you truly felt about him anymore. 

"With you?" He wasn't laughing so that was a good sign, you nodded slowly at him and bit your lip. Jimin wasn't going to lie to himself and say he'd never thought about it before because he had before he had started dating Mina he'd been hung up on you. 

"We don't have to, I thought it would be fun there's the new funfair-" His lips on yours cut off your rambling when he kissed you and you smiled against his lips leaning into the kiss, sparks flying off your body as he drew you closer by wrapping his arm around your waist.

"Funfair date tomorrow it is," He whispered to you cupping your chin in his hand and smiling as you got shy under his touch. 

"I'll meet you by the hook-a-duck booth?" He suggested as he ran his thumb along your bottom lip, it had been where you used to meet whenever the funfair was in town when you were kids. 

"Sounds good to me Jiminie," You whispered kissing him again as you got up from the sofa and began walking towards your apartment door, he chuckled wrapping his arms around you and kissing you again. 

"I never thought I'd get to do that you know," He laughed softly as you stood at the door just talking. While you were both lost talking about the details of your date tomorrow you hadn't noticed Mina's best friend walking past your apartment and snapping a photo of you both together, sending it to Mina to ask what was happening. 

Mina had told everyone that she and Jimin were just on a short term break while she worked her way around things and not the truth, that she'd cheated on him with most of her guy friends. That was the thing about Mina, she craved the love and attention she got from everyone around her it was as though she was addicted to the dopamines. 

"I'll see you tomorrow night okay?" Jimin chuckled kissing you a final time as he tried to force himself to leave your apartment, he wanted to go home and get ready and you needed to spend the entire night pampering yourself. 

While you got ready for your date that night Jimin went out to buy you some flowers to bring with him - he was going to bring your favourite ones, he was about to leave his apartment when he saw Mina walking up his driveway crying. He frowned looking as her shoulders shook, holding a tissue to her nose as he heard small sobs falling from her lips,

"J-Jimin!" She wept loudly running towards him and throwing her arms around him, just like that you melted out of his brain and the only thing that matter was making sure Mina was okay. 

"What happened?!" He panicked tilting her head up to look at him as he frowned looking into her eyes, 

"I'm sorry! W-What I did! It was so wrong, Jimin I'm so sorry." She pushed him into the apartment and kicked the door shut as she sobbed into his arms, begging for his forgiveness for everything she'd done to him. 

"I-I was stupid, I just craved attention and I'm sorry Jimin...It won't happen again." She whimpered looking into his eyes as she pleaded with him to take her back staring into his eyes as she cried hysterically. 

"Mina-"

"Jimin I'll never hurt you again, I love you too much to ever hurt you again." She whispered running her hand over his cheek, as soon as she touched him he fell into her trap. Giving in and kissing her roughly as they made out on the sofa, 

"Fuck I missed you so much!" She cried out, running her hands down his shirt and towards his jeans. While he kissed her neck she rolled her eyes at everything he was doing, she didn't want to be there but she didn't want him to go out with you so she was going to do everything she could to keep him there tonight. He was hers and no-one else could have him even if she didn't want him just yet.

"I need you Jimin," She moaned kissing down his neck while her hands worked on undoing the jeans he was wearing, 

"F-Fuck I missed you too." He whimpered pushing his jeans down and moaning out as she touched him for the first time in months her hands pumping him slowly as she kissed him roughly. No one could ever replace her in his eyes, she was going to be the only one he would ever need. 

Biting your lip you checked the time again, it was getting late and dark which meant soon enough the fair would be packed with people who were drunk and you hated the thought of it.

"Jimin call me? You're an hour late and I'm getting worried," You heard giggling coming from in front of you and you looked up to see Mina's friends walking by shutting up as soon as they saw you looking at then. You shook it off as if it was nothing and tried Jimin again but there was no response. 

"Hey, baby!" Your heart filled with hope as you heard a voice calling out but when you turned around you saw two drunken men walking towards you so you stepped out of the way pretending to be busy on your phone.

"What's up? Date stand you up?" One asked as he stood in front of you, the smell of Vodka dripped from him as if he'd been bathing in the stuff and the one behind you chuckled as he held onto your arms. 

"We just wanna hang out baby girl, why don't we go on one of the rides?" You shook your head trying to answer them but the one in front laughed, 

"Don't be nervous, you can ride me if you want." You shoved him away from you trying to get out of their grasp but he didn't like it,

"Who the fuck do you think you are?!" He yelled grabbing onto your wrist tightly and pulling you into his chest so he could look deep into your eyes,

"Well?! Who do you think you are?!" You were growing more and more uncomfortable with each passing second and people around you ignored the scene as if they couldn't see it so you stomped onto his foot and tried to make a run for it only to have the second guy drag you into his arms. Pinning your arms down by your side as a hat was placed into your mouth to stop you from screaming. 

"You're a fucking dirty bitch!" The first one yelled slapping you across the face as they began to take you behind the booths, you tried screaming out for help from people but hardly anyone was around and the hat inside of your mouth was muffling your cries for help.

"Leave me alone!" You whimpered as he ripped the hat from your mouth, the first one kicked the back of your knees knocking you down onto the ground so you would have to kneel in front of them and then took both of your arms and pinned them behind your back. 

"Keep your mouth shut!" A pocket knife was pulled from the first man's pocket and pressed against your cheekbone cutting into the skin, 

"Such a pretty face, it's a shame it has to get so wasted," The blade stung as it cut down your cheek and dug into your skin, you could already feel the blood dripping down, 

"Why are you doing this?!" You asked them as you fought to get out of the other man's grasp but he only tightened his hold on you. 

"Because it's fun because we can and we have before." You struggled against the grasp when you got a slap across the cheek,

"D-Done what before?" You stuttered out watching the man in front of you with the knife, 

"Killed. It's fun you know, watching the life of someone drain out from them right in front of your eyes." You whimpered trying to kick yourself up but he lunged himself towards your pushing the small blade into your side and twisting it, only to do it again and again until he felt satisfied with himself. 

Jimin woke up with Mina in his arms, snuggling against him when he heard his phone vibrating, he had 60 missed calls from your phone and a text. 

[Y/N]: Help! SOS! Along with five siren emojis beside it, he tried calling you but the phone was cutting straight to your voicemail, he shifted out from under Mina. The only time you ever used those emojis was when it was in a real emergency and panicked washed through him as he realised where he was supposed to meet you and when, 

"Where are you going?" Mina asked looking at him, 

"Y/n, I think something's wrong, I'll be right back-"

"Jimin stay with me," She whined holding onto his arms but he told her that he had to do this, that it was something serious. 

"Whatever, I don't care. I won't be here when you get back," She scoffed looking at him as she got changed into her own clothes, he had no time to waste on asking her what the problem was he just sprinted out to his car and drove to the fair. 

"Y/N!?" Jimin screamed out in the almost empty park, it was going to be like finding a needle in a haystack, he began calling out your name before ringing you but your phone wasn't connecting to anything it was just going to your answering machine, 

"Y/n?!" He called out but that was when he heard a strangled version of his name, 

"Y/n?!" He panicked rushing over to the hook-a-duck section that was closed when he saw your legs poking out from behind the booth, 

"Y/n...What are you doing down here?" As soon as his eyes landed on you he called for help, dialling for an ambulance on his phone as he took you into his arms. He didn't care about the blood that was coming from you, you looked up at him weakly your head feeling too heavy to hold up anymore. 

"You came," You stuttered out looking up at him and smiling weakly, he smiled softly at you and nodded.

"I came, I know I'm late but I g-got held up," He didn't need to tell you what had held him up right now all that matter was getting you some help, he told the ambulance where he was and he held you close to him trying to keep you warm. 

"I'm cold Jimin," You whispered to him as you felt a shiver run through your body, you could barely feel your feet anymore and you were starting to feel dizzy, 

"Save your breath okay? We'll get you to the hospital and they'll warm you up." He whispered laying his jacket over your arms and trying to support you but you shook your head at him, you both knew you weren't going to make it through this. You'd lost too much blood and the world was starting to sound as though everything was further away than it was. 

"T-They were wearing all black," You whimpered trying to describe the men to him so he would be able to catch them before they did this to someone else.

"T-The one that had the knife he had a scar along his lips as if someone had tried to put a smile into it." He shook his head at you begging you not to keep talking. That he would get you safe and you could tell the police all of this yourself, 

"J-Jimin I-I love you." You whispered to him as you felt your hands going numb, 

"You're saying goodbye," He whimpered looking at you as you nodded at him, you were too tired to fight it off anymore. You'd tried phoning for the ambulance yourself but your phone died after calling Jimin so much and now you were too tired to do anything.

"I love you." You repeated as your version began to blur, he sobbed shaking his head as you looked up at him biting down on your lip, he pulled you closer promising not to let go until he got you some help.

"Jimin it's been a year now, how are you feeling?" What kind of question was that? The doctor stared at him while she waited for an answer but Jimin stayed silent and turned to look out of the window. 

"Does anyone else in the group want to talk?" Everyone in the room began talking about their experiences but Jimin just stared down at the grass that was in the hospital garden. 

"Cat got your tongue?!" Hoseok - one of the other patients asked as he came up behind Jimin. He hadn't even noticed that the group therapy was out of session until Hoseok grabbed his attention away from the window. 

"Sorry Hobi, I haven't been sleeping again," Hoseok laughed sitting across from him, 

"We both know I have the opposite problem of that." Hoseok was in the hospital - narcolepsy - he'd been left there and he and Jimin grew close over their time there together. Jimin had spent most of his time here after you died, you'd died in his arms and he began to see you everywhere, every time he went to sleep you were in his dreams and then you began appearing around the house. After a while his friends took him to see someone who advised he come into the hospital to be watched and ever since he'd never left, he never wanted to. It felt it was a good punishment since he blamed himself for you dying that night he blamed himself for everything if he hadn't had fallen dumb to Mina he never would have left you alone that night and you would still be there with him.

"Come on, I know how to get some extra pudding," Hoseok said, he knew where Jimin's head was going and he wasn't about to let him suffer alone. 

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[spectrumed]

5. sleep

It hardly gets dark in the Swedish summers. Between dusk to dawn, you’ve got about an hour to fall asleep before the sun rises again. If you struggle to fall asleep that fast, you can invest in some good window blinds. Or you can do as I do and place one big pillow over your face. Then the birds start singing around three o’clock in the morning. You can practically hear the sounds of Edvard Grieg’s Morning Mood playing at around four o’clock in the morning. Around five o’clock in the morning, it is as bright as midday. Did you have a good time sleeping? Or did you pace around in a circle having one hell of a panic attack? I thought you took some of those sleeping pills you got prescribed, they should have helped you fall asleep… wait, you did take them? They didn’t work? Oh, they did work, you just felt your body falling asleep while your mind stayed awake? That sounds terrible, real terrible. Very well. It’s morning now. Want some coffee?

You could form a religion out of sleeping. Let’s have sermons where we fill a whole auditorium full of beds and have our congregates take a big collective nap. Sleep for the sleep god! Pillows for the pillow throne! Sleep is a billion-dollar industry, there’s a plethora of handy products you can buy that promise to send you on a luxury liner to dreamland. Pills, mattresses, dreamcatchers, whatever your snoozy heart desires. You can go to a proper doctor and they might help you, or you can settle for the placebo effect and go to some fraudulent quack, instead. He might make you swallow some pills that contain arsenic, but hey, arsenic is a naturally occurring element. It can’t be all that bad for you if it is natural. And you do want to sleep, don’t you? If you take this pill in your mouth and swallow it with a glass of water, I promise you, you will sleep for a very long time.

The esteemed former president of the United States of America, Donald Trump, claims that he only needs four to five hours of sleep every night. While Mr. Trump is well-known to be a paragon of honesty, I do doubt he’s telling the truth. No, I actually do believe him when says that he only gets about four or five hours of sleep each night, I just don’t believe him when he says that is all he needs. He doesn’t look very well-rested, does he? And Margaret Thatcher, the similarly adored former prime minister of the United Kingdom, claimed that she also only needed about four hours of sleep every night. Yes, while researching the sleeping habits of famous monsters, I’ve come to the conclusion that amongst powerful individuals, not getting enough sleep has become a proper badge of honour. The belief is that if you don’t get enough sleep, that must be because you are living such a vibrantly successful life, and are so career-driven, that you simply haven’t got enough time to sleep for the full eight hours. People who sleep for more than four hours are lazy liberals. Go-getters like Trump has got to be out there, working, making decisions, raping women, and showing daddy what a good boy he is. Sleep is for the weak. But maybe I am weak. I sure like sleeping.

It’s the cultural hangover our society has had since the 80’s. Back when the yuppies wearing jackets with obscenely padded shoulders would happily chuck down eight to ten espressos in one go while A Flock of Seagulls was playing on the radio encouraging everyone to go running. And to be fair to them, with the constant fear of the doomsday clock hitting midnight, they really had no reason to think that they’d survive the decade. The new millennia, it seemed, would have no cities, no nature, no humans, only radiated mutants scouring the rubble that remains of civilization for cans of preserved something edible. Self-destructive behaviour was in. It was fashionable. Doubt people got enough sleep back then, between snorting coke and wondering if the next pandemic that hits the night clubs would start killing as many straight folks as gay folks. Well, here we are in the new 20’s, and we’ve got a pandemic that does appear to kill people regardless of sexual orientation. Sure, the looming threat of nuclear obliteration has been lessened dramatically, but we’ve largely come to exchange that anxiety for the fear of total environmental collapse, instead. No wonder 80’s nostalgia is a big thing right now. History doesn't repeat itself, but It often rhymes, said Mark Twain (supposedly.) I wonder how much coke Mark Twain would snort if he lived in the 80’s.

I notice a palpable difference in my mood and mental state when I’ve been getting good amounts of sleep. Lack of sleep results in lack of clear thinking. Caffeine, though it is something I am chronically addicted to, does not help fix a sleep-deprived mind. There are no tricks of revolutionary “life hacks” one can employ to get out of sleeping. To recover from depression, one has to sleep. Sleep often and sleep well. I cannot understate the importance of being well-rested. You cannot process information if you are tired. I am reminded of my teenage years seeing friends of mine who’d stay up all night, then come into school shuffling like agonised zombies. They got so frustrated when the teachers reprimanded them for snoozing in class. Well, dummies, it is your fault for drinking several dozen cans of Red Bull every day! I know that sleep does not always come easy. I know the terror of insomnia. But, c’mon! At some point, you’ve got to realise that sleep is essential. Maybe most of your problems stem from the fact that you refuse to get enough of it? Here’s where the tough love comes in. If you wanna get better, kiddo, then listen to me. It’s bedtime. Yes, I know you’d rather stay up late playing monopoly with your friends, but I’m confiscating your dice and I’ll only give it back to you when you’ve gotten some good sleep. Okay? You hear me, missy? You listen to your daddy now, and go to bed. No ifs or buts about it, princess, I’ve made myself clear. I know what is best for you, and you know that I am right. I’m your daddy.

But what if I can’t seem to fall asleep? Normally, it takes a long time for me to fall asleep. It is not uncommon for me to stay awake for two hours, maybe more, before I finally begin to sleep. Fearing that I won’t fall asleep gives me anxiety. That anxiety keeps me awake. I turn my body. I try lying on my side. First my left side, then my right side. I then try to lie on my back. I’ve got a song stuck playing in my head. Not even the whole song, just a ten-second segment of it. It’s playing over and over. I’m worried about the future, will I ever find security, will I ever find a wife, will I get to grow old? I worry about death. I keep hearing the music playing, it’s grating. I rearrange the pillows, in hopes that will make me feel more comfortable. But no, I keep tossing and turning like a fish caught on land. I’m getting frustrated. If only I could shut off my brain. I’m constantly thinking. I turn to my side again, but now I notice I’ve moved arounds so much that now the bed has shifted away from its position next to the wall. There’s now a gap between the bed and the wall. I almost fall down that gap. I get up and I push the bed back against the wall. I lay down in bed. The song is still playing.

How am I ever going to become a successful businessman if I am wasting so many hours just trying to get to sleep? This is the time I should be spending on the phone, yelling at people and making inappropriate sexual comments to my female employees. That is what good executives do. I need to get my life in order. I need to exercise more. I should practice mindfulness. I should get a life coach, a personal trainer, a stylist, an accountant, an assistant, a trophy wife, and a mistress. I need people in my life to take care of me. It’s funny how rich people create the sort of environment around them where people will take care of all their needs, effectively infantilising them. These people don’t even get to decide how to dress themselves. They’ve got fancy apartments, but they don’t choose any of the furniture. They’ve got art on the walls that they don’t like, but the art looks expensive, and that is all that matters. They’ve got kids, but they don’t raise them. Their spouses are cheating on them, but in fairness, they are cheating on their spouses. They don’t really even know what their jobs entails, as they’ve gotten promoted so many times that they’ve ended up in a position that is totally outside their realm of expertise. But they’re so powerful that no-one is able to fire them over their pretty blatant incompetence. They’re successful. They’ve made it. But they still can’t sleep at night. They only manage to successfully fall asleep at night after swallowing a fistful of pills along with a swig of vodka.

It must be easy being a self-help guru. Well, what I mean to say is that all you really need is charisma, which is something you need to be born with. But you don’t need to do any actual studying, any real research, or any kind of soul-searching or deliberation. All you need is to state what is obvious. You go on stage in front of an anxious audience, mostly composed of middle-class salesmen and miscellaneous white collar ghosts. You smile, show off your eerily bright teeth, and they clap. You tell them to go take care of themselves, to eat more healthily, to take walks, or go swimming, and love their partners. You tell them to drink less, or maybe, if they feel like it, they could drink more. I am sure you could spin alcohol as a positive or a negative, depending on what crowd you’re talking to. Tell them to appreciate family. Tell them to appreciate others. Live, laugh, but most of all, love. Tell them to go clean their rooms. Tell them to remember that if they’re on an airplane that is about to crash land, they need to put their own oxygen mask on before they can help others put theirs on. If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Now, go to bed!

You know all this stuff. Me telling you that you should sleep more doesn’t really help you. You know that you should sleep more. It’s not like as if you’re too dumb to realise that. And it’s not like as if you’re too dumb to realise that it is better to drink in moderation, and that you should smoke less weed. There are many small little things you can do to improve your life, to stop being a terminally unemployed slacker. It’s like your grandpa who tells you stories about life after the war when you could walk into the biggest building in town, slam your fist against the table and demand to be given a job and a house and a wife and a couple of kids, and that was all you needed to do. He can’t comprehend the fact that society doesn’t work like that, any more. Most people my generation have given up hope of ever owning a home, at least if they happen to live in the vicinity of a larger city. It seems that, no matter where you live, the cost of homes has risen to an impenetrable degree. It seems just as likely that you will be able to afford your very own genetically-engineered pet dragon before you will get to be a house-owner. It’s the fault of those damn boomers, why bother changing your ways, when the boomers are still in charge? Others may accuse you of wallowing in your own depression, but you are perfectly aware that this is exactly what you are doing. You are self-aware. But self-awareness on its own is not enough to motivate anyone. You still can’t see the point in doing anything constructive with your life. Life just feels so aimless. It’s easier to sit, smoke weed, and watch cartoons.

Pop psychology is problematic. To say the least. Take all those self-help gurus suffering from their messiah complexes and put them through the shredder. Don’t buy books thinking that they’ll offer you the kind of treatment you would get from an actual psychiatrist. I know that, depending on where you are in the world, treatment can get very expensive, but you’re not going to get better reading the book of some self-aggrandising narcissist’s collection of wishy-washy platitudes. Dr. Phil has done great evil pretending to be a therapist on the TV, and Jordan Peterson (despite having once been an esteemed scholar) has turned a generation of young internet-savvy zoomers into proto-fascists obsessed with the monogamy of lobsters. Pop psychology has become a guise for cult leaders to reap new followers. Getting treatment should not feel like joining a new religious movement. Maybe I’m just one of those annoying atheists, but I dare say, psychiatry works at its best when it's secular. You should not look at your psychiatrist as a prophet speaking to God. They’re just a doctor, and you need treatment.

I do not aspire to create a self-help blog. I do not promise that reading this blog will help you in any way. I would be overjoyed if someone came up to me and told me that I had inspired them to seek help. You may tell me that reading my words have made you feel less alone, knowing that others have gone through all these things that you are going through. When I felt at my worst, I remember reading the memoirs of people I admired who had similarly struggled in their lives, and I felt less alone. But none of those books pretended to exist principally to help others. Those books did help me, through the candid descriptions of struggles that I thought I was alone in experiencing. Knowing that some people had pulled through, managed to find a light at the end of the tunnel, it made me think I could one day be like them. The books didn’t seek to fix me, but they offered me a perspective that came to be very valuable later on, when I started going to therapy, and when I later started taking medication. Sometimes that is all you need. Not someone standing over you and telling you to go to bed, or to clean your room, or to stop drinking. You know all that, already. What you really need is the reassurance that things can indeed get better. Sleep will come.

[imagine-the-fanfics]

Honesty

Characters: Goro Majima x Reader X Daigo Dojima

Warnings: Cheating, dubious consent (drunk), fighting (couple), mentions of sex (no smut), strong language, toxic relationship

Inspiration: “Honest” by The Chainsmokers; “2” by H.E.R.; “Story to Tell Your Friends” by Every Avenue

A/n: I don’t have anything to say that hasn’t been said already.

You slid out of bed, taking a moment to look over your shoulder at the naked man sleeping next to you. As wrong as it was, your thoughts were with someone else. It hurt knowing he wasn’t with you tonight, and it was likely he was in someone else’s bed, too. You almost couldn’t help but laugh at the fucked-up mess your once sweet relationship had grown into. Neither of you knew where the other was, and you weren’t sure either of you really cared anymore.

Your steps were soft as you walked around the hardwood-floored room, gathering your clothing and dressing as quietly as possible. Memories of screaming Daigo’s name echoed through your mind. The arrangement between you and the sleeping man was one neatly arranged. You’d have sex, hang out till he slept, and then leave. In return, he took you to nice restaurants and on nice dates, buying you everything you could possibly want, and gifting more money to you than you could ever spend. Majima still paid your bills, otherwise this man likely would do that, too. It was an arrangement that suited everyone else just fine, even though everyone complained about it.

You took your phone off the dresser near the bedroom’s door, checking it for any messages from your boyfriend, but there was none. Of course there wasn’t. Why would you think anything else? You hadn’t heard from him in over two weeks, why would that change? Goro had told you to call off your relationship with Daigo long ago, but you never did. How many times had Goro cheated on you before you got with Daigo? And how many times had he cheated after telling you to call it off? Too many, on both accounts.

Okay, so maybe having your boyfriend’s boss as your Sugar Daddy wasn’t the best idea, but you didn’t care at this point. There were so many times that you had thought about just breaking up with Majima for Dojima, but you knew better than to think you and Majima would ever let the other go. This was too toxic a relationship for that. You knew he’d kill anyone you tried to be with after him, even his boss, and you knew that you would be crawling after him, begging him to take you back if he ever left you. You knew this because both had already happened. Multiple times.

You ran your fingers through your hair in an effort to get your post-sex bedhead under control. It was, naturally, a futile effort, but still an effort worth making as you prepared to leave your Sugar Daddy’s secret apartment. It didn’t take long to have everything packed up into your purse before leaving, quietly closing the door behind you and locking it with your key. In the hall you started humming to yourself, checking your phone again.

Why you kept checking it was beyond you, but you still did. You guess part of you just wanted him to miss you. To want you. To do something. He wouldn’t. You knew he wouldn’t because he never did.

You hailed a cab, hopping in and returning home.

 ~~~ 

Majima sat in the back of a private car, playing on his phone while some drunk hostesses sat on either side of him. He looked up at the clock and sighed. It was 5 am and all he wanted was to go home. All he wanted was to hold you. The thought to text you and ask you to come home was one not easily dismissed. “Majima~” one of the girls called, grabbing his arm and pouting. “Why are you on your phone? Pay attention to us~”

“Whatever ya want, ladies,” Majima said as he smiled, sliding the phone back in his pocket and resting his arms on the back of the seats. The girls leaned into him, giggling as they traced their fingers over his tattoos like you had when things were still good. Those times were some that he longed to return to, but that was no longer an option. The two of you had made your bed, and the two of you had to lie in it.

The girls kissed him wherever they could. One focused on his neck, the other turned his head towards her and kissed his lips, her hand reaching over to get tangled up in his hair. She was giggling into the kiss, drunk as shit. He was drunk, too, so he didn’t care. All he wanted to do right now was forget about you. If these two women wanted to give it a shot, he wouldn’t stop them.

The driver left them outside of a love hotel, leaving to find a place to park as the trio stumbled inside.

 ~~~ 

When you arrived home, you came home to Majima sitting at the dinner table of your small apartment, taking a drag off of a cigarette. Why he was there was beyond you, but you reminded yourself to get his key before you broke up with him. If you ever broke up with him. It wasn’t likely, but still something you hoped to do someday.

“You’re home awfully late,” Majima acknowledged, sighing but not looking at you.

“I was out with a friend, sorry. I didn’t think you were coming over. You haven’t talked to me in weeks, so…”

“Don’t gimme that shit, Y/n.” Another drag. “You with Daigo again?”

“You told me to call it off, so I did. I haven’t seen Daigo since we called it off.” It was a statement you both knew was a lie. You didn’t really have friends, at least none that you would be out until 8 am with.

“Why d’ya always insist on lyin’ to me?” Majima’s face and tone were deadpan. “Ya know how much it hurts me, Y/n.”

“Does it?” You were growing frustrated. “Does it hurt you to stick your dick in every pussy in town? Does it hurt you to disappear for weeks at a time? Does it—”

“If you don’ shut the FUCK up…” Majima’s voice trailed off as he took a drag from his cigarette, exhaling as he spoke, “The people that make accusations like that are cheatin’ shits.”

“You would know, wouldn’t you?” You hissed. “I can’t deal with this, get out of my apartment.”

Majima calmly put his cigarette, turning to look at you. “Why would I do that, Darlin’? I’ve missed ya. No one makes ya scream like I do. No one screams my name like you. Baby girl, don’t make me spell it out for ya,” he sighed standing up and walking over. “C’mere,” he stuck his arms out to hug you, stopping as he caught your scent. “You reek of sex.” The coldness in his voice sent a chill down your spine. “Fuckin’ LIAR!” He shouted, turning away from you, kicking the chair so hard that it groaned against the floor as it slid, nearly falling over before it hit the table leg with loud thud.

“Look who’s fucking talking!” You called back, hands raised in frustration. “Why are we even doing this anymore when we both clearly don’t want this toxic ass relationship?! Let’s just end it and be free of each other! There’s no reason we have to live like this!”

“I LOVE YOU!” Majima screamed, followed by a, “FUCK!” He kicked the table, knocking the ashtray onto the floor, ash spreading everywhere. Thankfully, the ashtray was a sturdy plastic, so it didn’t break.

“REALLY?!” You shouted in response, walking over to him. “YOU CALL THIS LOVE?!”

He put his hand around your throat and kissed you. “I love ya,” Majima muttered, his lips hovering over yours, “but ya have to knock this shit off. All it does is piss me off, and when I’m pissed off, I lash out.” His lips pressed against yours and he pinned you to the wall, still holding your throat.

You hated how much you wanted this, and how easy it was for him to get your body purring for him. The kissing grew more intense, and before you knew it his shirt was off and so was yours. He lifted you up, wrapping your legs around him before carrying you to the bedroom, dropping you on the bed carelessly before undoing his belt.

 ~~~ 

“I have to be honest…” Hesitation. “I can’t do this anymore,” You say quietly as you stare at your breakfast, unable to eat.

“Sure ya can, Darlin’. Ain’t no reason to worry your pretty little head about,” Majima assured.

“I’m not an idiot, Goro.” You looked up to meet his gaze. “We’ve both been cheating. I can’t live like this, constantly wondering why I’m not good enough, finding security and validation in people outside of our relationship while you chase bugs around town. I can’t live with the anxiety anymore…” You paused before continuing, “I’m tired, Goro. Let’s just call it quits and move on, okay?”

“Are you serious?” His voice was soft, fake accent gone, as he looked at you, searching your eyes for any hint that this wasn’t happening.

“I am. I need this to be the last time we call it quits, and for you to not kill the people that I date. A clean break for both of us after years of pain. Can you do that? For me?” You looked back at your breakfast. “We had something so good when this started but look at what it’s turned into. We can’t keep living like this, Goro.”

“You’re right,” he said as his gaze shifted to his own breakfast. “I’m too old to be playing these games, Y/n. We should just… Move on.”

“Exactly. I always wanted a family, Majima. I want to try and find that for myself.” You didn’t mention how you had thought you found that with him before things turned into the poisonous disease your relationship had degraded into. “I want that for you, too. You’ll find someone else, I’m sure.”

“Yeah,” he agreed quietly, standing up. “I… I’m going to leave. No sense in waiting for the inevitable.”

You looked up at him, seeing the vacant expression you’d seen a hundred times when he was lost in his own mind. Your heart broke to see him like this, but you knew this was for the best. You bit your cheek, resisting the urge to stop him. You needed to let him go. You didn’t have the choice if you wanted to start over with someone new. You watched as he worked the key to your apartment off of his keyring.

“I’ll pay your apartment for three more months. After that the lease is up and you can sign a fresh lease. You won’t hear from me anymore, and I hope you won’t contact me either.

Still, it was strange that he was going so quietly. It made you uneasy as you watched him leave, though you were speechless. If you spoke it would only be to beg for forgiveness and start this endless cycle all over again.

He opened the door and looked back at you, nothing but pure sadness in his eye as he watched you. After a moment he closed the door. The second it closed you started to sob. As toxic as the two of you were together, you both truly loved each other deep down. This wasn’t romantic, this was tragic.

Together you were as toxic and violent to each other as Harley and Joker; breaking up was as painful as the ending of Titanic.

 ~~~ 

“Daigo?” You asked quietly, looking at the man lying next to you as you sat on the bed.

“What?” He asked, looking back at you.

“What are we doing?” You looked around the bedroom of the apartment.

“The same thing we’ve been doing for over a year… Why?” He wasn’t sure he liked where this was going, and the look on his made you worried about his reaction.

“I know the arrangement is that we don’t date, but I’ve been thinking…” A deep breath for courage. “Why don’t we date? We’re basically dating already.”

Daigo sat up, leaning over to grab his pack of cigarettes. “Because that’s the stipulation you put on this relationship. Majima and whatever. I like it, to be honest. ”

“It’s been over a month since Maijma and I called it off, and he’s been respecting the deal we made. I know you’ve had me followed,” you studied the pattern of the bedding, running your finger over it as you traced the patterns. He lit the cigarette and took the first draw as you spoke.

“It’s not because I don’t trust you—”

“I wouldn’t be mad at you if you didn’t, given my history with Majima, but I know it’s just for my protection,” you looked at him, seeing his cigarette between his lips as he took a drag. “Still, it proves to you that I’m not fucking around behind your back. I know we’re not in love or anything, and I’m not expecting anything serious. Still, I think we should give it a shot.”

“I don’t know, Y/n. What we have now is transactional. You provide me companionship; I provide money. No feelings; no attachments; no hurt when it’s over.”

“That’s true,” your gaze returned to the bedding and you traced the pattern again. “I think we could be good together. You mentioned that people are pressuring you to get married, and that something I want—”

“It’s way too soon to talk about marriage when we aren’t even dating, Y/n.”

“No, that’s not what I mean. We could give this a serious shot, maybe that would be in our future. Even if we kept it transactional, no emotions involved, it would save us the issue of finding a partner. I’d have the family I always wanted, and you’d have the wife you’re being pressured to find. We can date first, see if we’re a good fit, and go from there.” You weren’t sure if you’d done a good enough job explaining what you meant, but it would have to do, and Daigo looked like he was seriously considering the offer. “Like I said, if there’s no actual spark but we’re comfortable with the arrangement, what’s the harm?”

“You told me once you wanted a husband you loved and that loved you in return.”

“Well, time is running out on that. It’s more important to me to have a child than to have love in a relationship. I want a child in a marriage. Nothing wrong with being a single parent, it’s just not what I want.” You watched as Daigo flicked his ashes into the bedside ashtray.

“Alright. No sense in not giving it a try.”

[tomtenadia]

Island Dreams - Chapter 23

Finally I made and chapter 23 has landed. We are not too far off from the final staged of the fic. This one is a mammoth and I hop that 8k words will keep you busy for a bit. I have an horrendous uni assignment due next week and work as well which means chapter 24 won't arrive until probably the beginning of next week.

The only thing I want to add about the chapter is the initial part where they talk about Christmas. Rowan's reaction might seem a little extreme but i based it on my own personal experience. I am pagan. I do not celebrate Christmas in any shape or form but I do celebrate the solstice. And what Rowan says to Aelin is what usually happens to me.

That's the only comment I'll make on the chapter.

Enjoy <3

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“You are not putting that Christmas tree in our house.” Was Rowan’s outburst when he saw the image on her phone. It was the beginning of December and Aelin was showing Rowan the tree she wanted for the house and all the decorations she wanted to buy. “It’s December Rowan. Christmas will be here soon and everyone is decorating apart from us. Stop being such a spoilsport.” He stood and began pacing around the living room. “It’s a stupid holiday.” And he realised he had gone too far when her expression morphed into one full of hurt. Rowan’s hand brushed his hair in frustration.

“So it’s just my traditions that are stupid? Did I ever made fun of you with all of yours?” Aelin was now in front of him and she was fuming. “No.” Was the only thing he could manage. “I came with you at the summer solstice. I listened to your beliefs and never made fun of you and now I ask something and I can’t get it? I thought this was a relationship of equals.” She was getting irritated. “It is.” He added, turning his back at her and staring outside. “It doesn’t seem like.” He heard her walk away and sighed heavily. His head leaned against the cold window. When he turned around, she had left the room. A bit later he heard the main door open and close and he guessed she had left the house. He sat back on the sofa, leaned his head back into the sofa and closed his eyes. His communication skills had, as always, been lacking.

It was an hour later when she came back. She had gone out, probably to let out some steam. He stood to go to her but she ignored him and it hurt. They had small fights but this was one was more serious than the others and he had to fix it. “Aelin…” he moved to her. Aelin went to their room and slammed the door in his face. He groaned and started pacing around the living room nervously, then went back to the door of their room and banged at it “Will you come out so that we can talk?” The door flew open and his hand was still in the air. “What? Talk about what? That you are behaving like a selfish asshole?” Aelin knew she had gone too far. Rowan so far had been everything but an asshole and from his reactions he knew she had hurt him just now. “Selfish?” He roared and moved away from her “You know what? Decorate the house. Do whatever the fuck you want. I don’t care.” He moved all the way back to the window and Aelin knew he was mad. He had cursed and that was not something he did. She heard him use the F word only once and it was during a much happier moment. “Ro, I am sorry. I didn’t mean…” He sighed and Aelin moved another step to him. That distance between them was too much and she did not like fighting with him. For the first time she was in an healthy relationship and she had no intention of ruining everything. He turned abruptly and looked at her “I have never celebrated Christmas. I am 38 and I never did.” He started, finally looking at her “My parents followed the old ways and growing up I did the same. I grew up with kids making fun of me because I did not believe in Santa and because my family did not celebrate Christmas. When I was with Lyria I was forced to endless Christmas parties and people made fun of me when I told them I was going to Callanish for the winter solstice.” He ran his hands through his hair. Aelin moved to him and hugged him “I am sorry…” she felt tears well in her eyes. Rowan sighed and his hands went on her back and kissed her head “Don’t. I am not mad at you.” She squeezed closer “tell me what you do. Tell me how you celebrate.” She looked up at him and his eyes looked sad. He turned her in his arms and pulled her closer against his chest. His mouth close to her ear “I add holly around the house. It’s a symbol of hope, it’s meant to ward off spirits.” He explained kissing her neck He felt her relax. He had not liked their fight “I usually have a tree. A real one, that is kept healthy and then replanted at the end of the holidays. Not those plastic monstrosities.” He gave her a squeeze around her waist “It’s the Tree of Life and it’s a very important symbol, that’s why you don’t put baubles and garlands on it. I usually decorate it with pinecones, berries and other stuff, but always natural elements.” She leaned deeper against him. What he was describing it wasn’t too bad at all. “And finally the yule log.” He kissed the top of her ear “it’s the only time I lit my fireplace. The log has to be from oak. According to the ancient lore it keeps the spirits from entering the house.” He grabbed her hand and kissed her palm “I hang a wreath on my door with some bells and I have plenty of fabric elves that I use to decorate the rest of the house.” “What do the elves do?” “Well, the ancients believed that the spirits that created the Sun inhabited the realm of elves. So by adding elves you are assuring their assistance and also the return of the sun after all the dark days.” He explained trying not to sound like a lunatic. She was the first person he had truly explained his beliefs to. Lyria had never accepted it fully and he had to pretend he liked Christmas with her. “I have mistletoe too. It’s a symbol of life in the dark winter months.” She turned to face him “are we allowed to kiss under it?” He looked down at her “Of course.” She hugged him. “And I make some incredible gingerbread biscuits.” He felt her grin against his chest and knew that somehow their fight was over and finally started to relax again. “It does sound a lot like Christmas to me.” He kissed her head “It’s because when christianity took over, they incorporated some of the traditions into theirs. But the roots of the holiday are basically pagan.” “I like it.” “I didn’t mean to—“ but she stopped him with a kiss. “I always had a horrible relationship with Christmas.” He confessed “I hate the way it’s forced on everyone. It’s everywhere. And you can’t even celebrate Samhain in peace that this holiday is shoved down your throat. And don’t get me started on the consumeristic aspect. It has become a holiday for the shops to make more money. And if I even try to voice my opinion I get called a grinch and a grumpy old man. And people tend to ridicule my beliefs.” “You are my grumpy old man.” And she gave him a kiss, gentle and brief. “I have never made fun of other people for what they celebrate, but the world seems to have a problem with me because I do not follow the masses.” He sighed heavily. “I like what you described. A lot.” “We don’t have…” She shushed him again with another kiss “But I want to. We can make it our own holiday. With our own traditions. And screw the rest of the world.” “I’d love that very much.” He said, finally smiling again “we can add holiday sex in front of the fire.” “That is a tradition I would subscribe to immediately.” “We can have some of your lights outside on the door.” He offered “It’s our house so it’s only fair that we follow your traditions too. I need to stop being stubborn.” “And snowflakes decals on the windows?” He kissed her head “of course.” “Can I have hot chocolate too?” “As if I could stop you. You always cheat on me with chocolate.” And he pouted, but Aelin removed his pout with a kiss. “We can exchange gifts.” He added and her smile became brighter. “On one conditions.” She added, pushing him to the sofa where she made him sit down and straddled him “Only one each. I agree with your rant about consumerism. Lysandra and I had the same rule. We started when we were skint interns and never stopped. Just one gift each and not too expensive. It has to be meaningful.” Rowan kissed her “I really love your plan.” Her hands twined in his silver hair “And we are not celebrating on the 25th. You and I are celebrating on the winter solstice.” She decreed and he smiled back at her. “Are you sure?” He asked, closing his eyes, enjoying the feel of her hands in his hair. Aelin nodded “Which bring me to my next question: can I please invite Lysandra and Aedion? Lysandra and I have all our traditions and this year will be the first Christmas we are not together. Can we celebrate the 25th with them? And don’t worry, Aedion is a massive grinch and hates the holiday. It’s more the idea of being together with the people I love.” “Of course, mo chridhe, they can come and stay here with us and use your old room. We will celebrate your way too.” “You are not working on the 25th?” “I am doing the night shift on the 24th and finishing on the 25th around noon. Malcolm is doing the rest of the day. He is not bothered. And I am off early on the 21st because again I come off the night shift so we can celebrate together.” And Rowan grinned wildly at that admission of hers “Good, because I have plans to take my wonderful woman to the best winter solstice ever.” “What plans?” She asked grinding gently against him. “If I tell you, I’d have to kill you And I’d rather not do that.” And he kissed her deeply and a moan left her mouth. “I have an elf pyjama for the holidays.” She admitted as her hand started to move in a sensual way around his body. “You definitely are my elf who brought back sun in my life.” Aelin groaned “Too cheesy. Now I need to punish you.” And her mouth crashed against his. Her hand landed on his crotch and she found him ready for her “someone is needy.” “Very…” he kissed her neck “very…” another one “very needy.” She stood and he groaned and the loss of contact with her body. She started to undress in front of him “I guess you can start unwrap your first present.” Then she stopped and started laughing “It sounded so much better in my head. It made me cringe.” Rowan stood and walked to her, his hand went behind her head and dragged her closer for a kiss that made her legs go jelly “Tell me another one of your fantasies…” he whispered in her ear. She whispered back “Blindfold me and tie my hands to the head of the bed and do your worst.” He looked at her wickedly “As you wish, mo chridhe.” He lifted her in his arms and quickly walked to their room, ready to start their own celebrations.

It was the winter solstice and Aelin and Rowan were at Callanish to celebrate the shortest day of the year. It was a very crispy night and Rowan had told her that according to his app there were chances to see the Northern Lights again. She was excited, she had seen then during their break and was looking forward to see them again. And in a place like Callanish the idea was beyond amazing. She was glad she had listened to him and covered herself in layers. It was quite cold. As they walked to the site Aelin lifted her head and saw the sky ablaze with stars. She was in awe. His hands touched her lower back and she looked at him. Rowan had a strange glow in his eyes. He had been like that all day and she could have guessed that he was giddy and excited about something. If it wasn’t that her boyfriend was famous for his composure. Damn, the man was grinning. In silence they walked to the stone circle and the stopped in the centre near the chamber. He turned her to him and kissed her “Happy solstice.” With the passing of the months she had slowly learned all about his being pagan. She had been fascinated by all of it and enjoyed his way of celebrating the holidays. After their fight about Christmas she had taken her time to listen to him and discover what being pagan meant for him. Rowan was basically a tree hugger, who loved nature, followed ancient festivals deeply rooted in the ancient traditions of people who followed Earth’s cycles and celebrated the passing of the seasons. He had explained to her that the winter solstice had a powerful meaning of regeneration and renewal. Slowly light was taking over the night. He had also added that that year was more important than usual because they had been each other’s solstice. They both were in a deep dark night before they met. And slowly they brought the sun back in their lives, together. And she loved the symbolism. She was busy with her thoughts when she felt his arms wound around her, his chin on her head, and she had come to love that position. She fitted perfectly under him. “When I was younger, I used to come out here with my telescope and look at the stars and the planets.” He confessed and Aelin smiled at the idea of a younger Rowan looking up at the sky in admiration. He grabbed her hand and pointed to a specific pattern in the sky “See that? That’s Orion the hunter.” “How can you tell?” He guided her hand across the air “This… is his bow.” Then moved the hand lower and horizontally “this is his belt.” And then down vertically “and this is his sword.” Then up again “and his body.” Aelin was amazed at him and all of a sudden she wanted to know more. Then he moved her hand again to another point “That W shaped pattern? That’s Cassiopeia. And if we move a bit…” and his body turned her and he pointed again “That’s the plough or the Little Bear and if you follow his tail all the way up you find what?” “Polaris.” Answered Aelin with a smug face for actually remembering something from High school. He kissed her neck as a reward and she closed her eyes to enjoy the moment. Then a second later she felt him move away from her. She turned to ask him what was his deal when he noticed him on one knee. She gasped and brought a hand to her mouth in surprise “Holy shit.” Definitely not the most romantic comment. “Aelin, my Queen, I have little to give you if not my love, my loyalty and myself. But I swear it will be my mission, for the rest of my existence, to make you happy. To cherish you and walk at your side through every peril and difficulty life throws at us. Aelin Galathynius, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?” Aelin sobbed. He had used the line from one of their favourite books where the lowly warrior falls for the Queen and they end up together. She looked at him on his knees with a box in his hands and a wedding band in it. Her heart raced and she felt her hands shake. She finally unfroze and moved a step toward him and ran a hand through his hair “Rowan Whitethorn, my King, I will happily accept to share my life with you. To whatever end.” He stood and kissed and she felt him shake as well. “For a moment I feared you were going to say no.” Aelin let out a wet laugh “I was too busy trying to breath.” He laughed and he finally put the ring on her finger “It’s not your usual engagement ring. It’s a Celtic ring, I had it made from a local woman who does jewellery and it has some Celtic symbols connected with love engraved on. And it’s white gold. I find normal gold too tacky.” And he kissed her again and when he pulled away Aelin lifted her left hand and looked at the ring. It was simple but gorgeous. And she could totally tell it was handmade. It was unique and her heart had swelled with love for him “It’s beautiful.” “I wanted something special, but simple as well. It’s my gift and we agreed to be meaningful and well…” She kissed him “It’s perfect and now it makes my gift look pathetic.” “Whatever you gave me, it will be perfect.” Aelin hugged him and took a notice of their surroundings “Does it have some sort of meaning that we are in the middle of the circle of stones?” “Not for a proposal, but during a Celtic wedding, the couple tie their hands in what is called the hand-fasting ritual and the guests form a ring around the couple. I loved the symbolism.” She kissed him deeply “I love it so much.” He sat down with his back against one of the stones and pulled her down to him and she took her spot between his legs while his hands wrapped themselves around her waist. “I want a Celtic style wedding. You know pagan… I had the whole white gown traditional super expensive hoopla. I don’t care for it.” He kissed her behind her ear “A pagan hand-fasting it originally has two ceremonies. The first one that is meant to last one year and one day and then the second one for the rest of the couple’s life. But some people do just the one and go for all their life option.” He explained and she lifted their twined hands to her mouth “I want the traditional. I love the idea of renewing our vows after a year and a day.” She admitted. “Will you be wearing a kilt?” She asked curiously. The idea of seeing him in traditional Scottish attire gave her fuzzy feelings. “Yes, I have one with my clan colours.” “Can I have something similar? I don’t want another boring white gown. Am I allowed to wear your colours?” He nodded “You can have a lovely tartan wedding gown matching my kilt.” “Ro?” “Yes, Fireheart.” “Can we please get married here at Callanish?” “We can do it at Beltaine if you accept to wait for a bit. It’s a fire festival. It marks mid way to the Summer Solstice. It has the meaning of rebirth as the short dark nights give way to the long summer days. In ancient days it was a great time for celebrating and gathering and people would lit bonfires. It is also connected with fertility. Earth is becoming alive again and its fertile energy is celebrated as well.” “Will it mean a lot to you if we chose Beltaine?” He shook his head “We choose whatever you prefer. You don’t have to feel the need to follow my beliefs.” Aelin turned, kneeling in front of him “But I want to Ro, all you said so far seems to have a beautiful meaning connected to love and life. All you said so far just feels beautiful and I want all of it.” She kissed him deeply “It would make me very happy.” She kissed him again and his arms pulled her closer and desire bled through her. “It’s a shame it’s cold. The idea of having sex on such a powerful site is very exciting.” Rowan laughed and pulled her down on top of him until she straddled him and went back kissing him. Rowan opened his eyes for a moment and stopped kissing her. “What?” She said pulling away from him. Rowan turned her and pointed at the sky. A beautiful green and blue with a light tinge of red was dancing in the night. “Yes!”shouted Aelin in celebration when she looked at the sky. The first time she saw the Northern Lights it was during their holiday, when they took their last step in their relationship. And now they appeared again on the night he proposed. She loved the connection. Aelin sat back and Rowan held her “They are so beautiful I want to cry.” Then she grabbed her bag and pulled out his gift, feeling almost embarrassed. “This is for you and please don’t laugh. I am not a big fan of buying presents and I had no idea what to give you.” He held her close and grabbed the present and slowly unwrapped it. Soft fabric appeared in front of him and in the middle he felt the hardness of a book. “That’s two presents.” He smiled at her and grabbed the fabric noticing it was a gorgeous scarf as green as his eyes and it was soft “Aelin, this is gorgeous.” “I saw it in a shop and I just thought it was perfect. It’s a lousy gift but it’s useful.” Rowan wrapped the scarf around his neck “I adore it. And I really needed a new one, I swear. I just couldn’t be bothered to go and get it.” He leaned forward and kissed her, then he started unwrapping the book and his grin grew bigger. It was one of the books he had eyes since it arrived in the shop. “I saw you put it aside a while ago and I kept an eye on it. You never bought it so I did it for you.” “Thanks. I had already overshoot my monthly budget for books so I was just waiting for the new month.” “I knew that.” She kissed his nose “I think it’s cute that you have a book budget.” “Well, if I didn’t I would not be able run the shop, pay bills and eat.” She straddled him “That’s what a girlfriend on big bucks is for.” And kissed him again. He pulled her down and she lay down snuggling against him and went back staring at the Northern Lights in the sky.

The following day Rowan was at the airport to pick up Lysandra and Aedion. Aelin could not get off her shift so he offered to pick up the couple. “Hi guys,” he greeted them when they came out of the restricted area. “Rowan.” Said Lysandra hugging him “Thank you for picking us up.” “Aelin could not get out of her shift, but we are going to the hospital so we can have lunch together.” He explained, grabbing the suitcase from the woman. Aelin had made Rowan promise that he would not reveal their news to Lysandra. Aelin wanted to do that. So he kept his grin at ease and walked the couple to the car. They reached the hospital not long after and they walked to the A&E. “This looks so different,” commented Lysandra at seeing the smaller place compared to what she was used to. Rowan tried to phone Aelin but she did not respond then he spotted Malcolm. “Hi man,” said the man greeting Rowan with a big smile. “Hi Malcolm, is Aelin about?” “She is dealing with a patient. I’ll let her know that you are here.”

Twenty minutes later Rowan heard a squeal and saw Aelin running to Lysandra. The two women embraced and jumped and gave the entire A&E a big show. Malcolm came back a moment later “A bit higher and you’d reach ultrasound level.” “Mal, these are my friends Lysandra. She is a kick ass doctor in London.” Then she turned to Aedion, “this is her boyfriend Aedion.” “Guys,” Aelin then turned to her friends “This is Malcolm and he is my second and he awesome.” And she put an arm around his waist. The first time she did she was afraid Rowan might not appreciate the gesture, but when she explained him that Malcolm was just a super great friend and definitely not interested in her he was okay. Mal shook their hands “Nice meeting you all.” Then his pager went off. He winked at Aedion and left waving at the group. “I gotta go, some of us actually have to work.” And gave Aelin a big grin. “Did he just wink at me?” Asked Aedion. “Oh yeah, Mal likes guys. He has a major crush on Rowan and I got a feeling you might be his type too.” Explained Aelin. “He is hot.” Admitted Lysandra, watching Mal walk away.“I wish I had such a sexy second. I am so jealous right now…” Aedion coughed. Lysandra turned her head “I still love you.” “Just checking.” Then Aelin grabbed Lysandra’s hand “let’s go to the cafeteria, I am starving.” Once at the cafeteria they ordered food and sat down at the table. Lysandra was about to tackle her lunch when she noticed the ring on Aelin’s left hand. “No way.” She grabbed the hand “When did it happen?” She admired the ring on her fourth finger. “I proposed last night.” Replied Rowan, allowing Aelin to eat. “Tell me everything.” Lysandra dropped the hand and was now in full gossip mode. Aelin was eating and since Rowan knew she had limited time he told Lysandra the story “I asked her last night at Callanish. It was the winter solstice. I have been planning it for a while. The night was special and the site too.” Rowan extended his arm to brush her head “And when she saw me on my knees, her first comment was ‘Holy Shit’” Aelin laughed “I was not expecting that. One moment you were telling me all about constellations, the next you were on one knee.” She blew him a kiss “It was awesome, though” Said Aelin “and it was so romantic. He used the quote of our favourite book.” She took another bite of her food. She was about to add something else when her pager went off. She groaned and finished off her food very quickly. “I gotta go.” She stood and kissed Rowan “Love you.” Then hugged Lysandra and Aedion. “I will see you all tonight at home.” And after that she ran away. “She seems happy.” Commented Lysandra eating her lunch. “She is. She is enjoying her job. The first month has been a bit rough, but she loves her team.” Explained Rowan and Lysandra noticed the pride beaming from the man. “I don’t think I have ever seen this happy. Whatever magic you are using, it’s working. And I am grateful.” Lysandra took Rowan’s hand “before she came here she was in a very dark place. So thank you.” Rowan nodded “To be honest, she helped me too.” He saw the woman smile. “We haven’t told Aelin yet, I will tell her tonight, but Aedion and I are thinking about moving here. I can work at the hospital if an opening comes up and he is a pilot and an aircraft engineer, he will find something.” Rowan was stunned “Really?” “Yes,” it was Aedion this time “we have been talking about it since the first trip we made. We both fell in love with the islands and we decided that when we will have a family, this is the kind of environment we want our kids to grow up.” Aedion took Lysandra’s hand “we know it’s a very big change, but it feels right.” “Aelin will be delighted. She misses you a lot.” Rowan looked at both of them “Are you sure? Island life has its challenges. I was afraid that Aelin was going to struggle. Going from living in a place like London where you have everything at your fingertip to live here, it is a massive jump.” Lysandra nodded “we discussed it extensively and we both want it.” Rowan nodded and smiled. They finished their lunch and he took them home so they could get settled and relax a bit while they waiter for Aelin to come back home.

It was much later that night when Aelin got back home. She had to stay behind a bit longer to organise a few things with Malcolm about the interns. She was now ready to collapse on the sofa and catch up with Lys. Once inside she noticed the three of them in the living room, chatting happily. She was very glad that Rowan got along well with them, especially with Aedion. “Old habits die hard?” Lysandra’s voice met her as soon as she entered the living room. “Mal and I had a few things to deal with. We were not planning to finish this late.” She went to Rowan and kissed his head “I’ll take a shower and I’ll be back.” “I got dinner aside for you as well.” He stood “I’ll go and warm it up.” When he passed beside her, Aelin gently pinched his butt “I am such a lucky woman,” and disappeared away to their bedroom.

After her shower she joined the rest to the living room and Rowan had her meal ready on the coffee table for her. It looked so appetising and she was starving. “Did you dry your hair properly?” He brushed her hair to check. “Yes, my lord and master.” Rowan laughed “Good.” Aelin tackled her food when Lysandra spoke up. “Ae, Aedion and I have something to tell you.” Aelin looked up and felt worry. Lysandra’s tone seemed serious. Aedion took his girlfriend’s hand “Lysandra and I are thinking about moving up here.” The fork stopped halfway between plate and mouth. She was staring at the couple with a weird expression. “Say something, please.” Asked Lysandra with worry in her voice. “Are you sure?” Aedion nodded “we have been discussing the issue for a while. You were not the only one who was not happy in London.” He confessed “Lys and I need a fresh start as well and well, we kinda fell in love with this place the first time we came to visit and we have been talking about it ever since.” “Aedion and I have been looking for jobs already. He has a couple of possible options at the airport as an engineer.” Aelin stood and ran to hug Lysandra, so fiercely they almost fell off the chair “I would love that very much. I missed you like crazy. Gossiping with Rowan is no fun.” Rowan coughed in response to the jab. Aelin sat on Lysandra’s lap, her arms still around the woman, and turned to him “Yes you, you never know any gossip in town. I always need to go to your aunt.” Aelin went back to her seat and continued her dinner before it became cold again. “It might take a while but we’ll do it.” “I can listen at the hospital if I hear any opening that might be good for you.” Lysandra smiled “That would be so amazing.” Then she took a sip of her beer “Have you and Rowan discussed about what to do for the wedding? I know you got engaged last night…” Aelin and Rowan exchanged a glance “We actually did.” He answered for her “We are going to have a pagan hand-fastening at Callanish on Beltaine.” Both Lysandra and Aedion looked puzzled. “It’s still a wedding but your hands get tied together with a ribbon as a symbol of the union.” “Sounds cool. And original.” Commented Lysandra. “And Rowan is going to wear a kilt.” Aelin looked at Lysandra and the two women exchanged an understanding glance “And I will have a nice tartan gown with his clan colours.” “What are his colours?” Aelin grabbed her phone and showed Lysandra a picture she had downloaded. “Oh, that’s going to be a gorgeous pattern.” “We haven’t decided the fine details just yet, but of course you two are coming.” Lysandra squealed in delight “Let me know if you want to have another bachelorette party. We can surely top the one you had for officer asshole.” Aelin flinched “I am not sure there is a point.” She drank a bit of water “Speaking of the asshole, I don’t think I told you that he came here.” “No fucking way.” “Yeah, he came here to take me back to London. He told me he wanted to try again and have a while together and then get married again because he missed me.” Aedion growled “Apologies for the language ladies, but what the fuck was he thinking? He was an asshole. He screwed the bitch for over a year and lied to you. He treated you like shit and he has the guts to come and beg to go back to him?” Aelin laughed, Aedion had always been very protective of her and Lysandra and he had been very vocal about his hatred for Chaol. “Don’t worry, Rowan punched him.” And she took Rowan’s hand and smiled at him. “Of that, I am very grateful. I just wished I had been the one to do it. I should have done it last year when he forgot your birthday and came home drunk and ruined the party at your place and kicked us all out.” Aelin had removed that horrible night from memory. He had been horrible to every one. Once they left he had tried to force himself on her but she had pushed him away. She had given him the divorce papers only the previous day and he was still furious with her. She had slept in the guest room that night. The following day she had told Aedion and Lysandra what happened and they helped her pack and move out of the house. She had been glad that Chaol was not at home because Aedion would have reduced him to a pulp. She had never seen him that mad. “Can we just change topic, please?” Aelin felt sick just thinking about it. Rowan noticed her distress, he put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him “I have a day off in two days. We can do something together. Until then you two are on your won unfortunately.” “Don’t worry about that. Aedion and I have ideas of what to do. We will be fine. We hired a car while we are here so we can be independent.” Then she turned to Aedion “But he is driving.” “I told Rowan that you and I celebrate on the 25th with our own traditions and we can have the whole day the two of us. Rowan doesn’t do Christmas and Aedion, well we know where he stands.” “Oh yeah, Rowan told me. I asked him why the Christmas tree without decorations and he explained me his version of the holiday.” “I promised Aelin she could have the 25th whatever way she wanted. We already exchanged gifts on the solstice and celebrated. So go ahead and have fun.” “Am I allowed to put Aelin’s present under the tree?” Rowan smiled “of course you can.” “I won’t be able to sleep with you though. I have a night shift on the 24th and I am not off until noon on the 25th so our morning traditions will have to wait.” Rowan had a curious expression on his face “what do you mean sleep with?” “Oh, Lys and Aelin always shared the bed on the 24th and woke up on the 25th together. They have breakfast in bed and then exchange their gifts.” Explained Aedion “Then they wear their silly ugly jumpers, drink hot chocolate all day, camp on the sofa with blankets, junk food and more hot chocolate and watch cheesy Christmas movies until they collapse exhausted on the sofa.” “You two could join us.” Commented Lysandra staring at the two men. “There is no way I am going to wear those obscene jumpers.” Complained Aedion. “You don’t have to. We can just be all the four of us together. Cozy under the blankets, eat drink and watch movies. We can even let you chose one.” Aedion looked at Rowan and the two men nodded at each other. “Fine. We’ll join the festivities,” Rowan conceded “But I will cook. We are going to have a nice meal. You won’t be able to get junk food on the 25th. This is not London remember?” She snuggled against him “I have the best fiancée in the universe.” Rowan chuckled “and I agree with Aedion. Us boys, we are not wearing any jumpers.” “Spoilsport.”

Christmas Day had finally arrived and Aelin was looking forward to go back home and start celebrating. She was exhausted. The nights shift had been crazier than she expected. Apparently some people had celebrated a bit too much. They also had an emergency in the middle of the night when a serious patient had been airlifted to the hospital from Benbecula. The guy had been in bad conditions when he came in, but was now stable. She was finishing off with her last patient for the day when she noticed Malcolm enter the pit. “Your saviour is here.” He walked to the changing room and Aelin followed him and stood on the door while he changed. “How was the night?” “It started off nice and quiet. Then we had a few people who have celebrated a bit too much and got themselves into trouble. A guy who almost got himself into a coma for how much he was drunk. I got vomited on five times, by a family who was brought in with food poisoning. And finally we had a man airlifted from Benbecula after a car accident. He was in really bad shape but he is stable but still in the ICU for now.” “Sounds like you had a fun night.” She sat down on the bench “I am so tired, I just want to sleep for a week.” “Are you sure you are okay?” He put on the top of his scrubs and grabbed his stuff from the locker and they left. “Which interns do I have with me today?” Aelin smiled wickedly “I gave you Lauren and James.” Malcolm swore. James had been the weakest of the interns. They had decided to try and give him a second chance for a little while longer, but Malcolm had very little patience with him. Although he had been out of the military for a while, he still followed some of his strict military regime he had when he was a medical officer. He had structure and she loved him for that. He also loved things done in a certain way and James had been struggling to adapt to Malcolm’s way of doing things. They were both working on it but where it was almost impossible to make Mal nervous, James was the opposite and became a mess around the man. “Be nice to him, please.” “I am always nice.” He said with a warm smile. “I know you are, but when you have your Captain mask on, you are a bit terrifying.” She laughed. She actually liked his Captain mask. It was no shit Malcolm. He would get things done with efficiency. She always wondered why he never took her job. The A&E would run like a super perfect clockwork in his hands.” “Mal?” She was curious “Can I ask you something?” They were almost back at the emergency room. He had stopped for coffee before starting his shift. “Go ahead.” “Why they didn’t offer you directly my position? You’d be amazing.” Malcolm stopped and sighed “Because I did not apply.” Aelin stopped as well and looked at him. “PTSD. I will tell you the story one day. After I retired from the Navy I took time off.” He sat on one of the chairs in a corridor “Once I was better I decided to try again to be a doctor. But I decided that I was going to remain in the position I was offered. I could not handle again the whole being in charge at all. Too much stress and it was not what I needed in order to heal. So when the position came up I just kept wishing we would get a very competent person in charge and it seems my wishes got answered.” Aelin had no idea what to say “For what it’s worth, I believe you’d have been amazing.” “Thanks, but taking orders for once it’s not too bad.” And he smiled at her “now go home, relax and celebrate with Lysandra. It’s my turn to get vomited on.” She hugged him tenderly “I will see you tomorrow night.” She stood “Nurse Jackie has baked a few cakes for all of us.”

When she finally parked the car in front of the house she relaxed. She had texted Rowan letting him know she was on her way back. He had replied saying he was finishing to prepare lunch and that the house was ready for celebrations. A part of her was excited, but another side just wanted to take a shower and sleep until it was time to go back to work again. Rowan was in front of her when she stepped in the house. He turned her around and covered her eyes with his hands. “What are you doing?” “Shhh.” He gently nudged her and she started walking. Then they stopped and he freed her eyes and Aelin gasped in surprise. The whole living room had been decorated with fairy lights. The coffee table had been moved and the floor had been covered in heavy blankets and pillows and then she laughed when she noticed Rowan and Aedion. They were wearing what looked like matching flannel pyjamas with elves on. She laughed. “The pyjamas were my idea,” confessed Lysandra “I bought them in London. And this morning I convinced them to wear them. As soon as I mentioned to Rowan that it would mean a lot to you, well, he was sold and convinced Aedion as well.” Aelin hugged Lysandra and then went to Rowan and hugged him as well and almost ended up crying. What was wrong with her? “I love it and you both look so very dashing.” She said with a flat voice and Rowan noticed that. “Are you okay?” He brushed his hand on her back while holding her. “Tired, so damn tired.” “Aelin we don’t have to—“ Aelin stopped Lysandra “Yes we do. I will be better after a shower.” “How was the puke count?” “Five.” “Not bad.” Replied the other woman “Nothing can beat the 20 of four years ago.” “Hell no.” Rowan looked between the two women as if missing the meaning of what they were talking about. “I’ll tell you after lunch.” She kissed him and went to the bathroom. Rowan was about to excuse himself but Lysandra preceded him “Go to her. She looks like hell. She needs you just now.” Rowan nodded and silently thanked the woman. He reached Aelin in the bathroom and noticed she was already in the shower. He quickly removed his clothes and joined her. “What are you doing?” He did not reply. He pulled her to his chest and hugged her tight. In that moment Aelin started crying. “Hey…” “I am sorry…” her arms went around his waist “I just feel like crying.” “Shhh let it go. I am here. Let it all out.” And she did. She cried until she felt spent in his arms. He washed her hair and tenderly washed her body as well. There was nothing sexual in his touches. He was just taking care of her and she almost cried again. While he was on his knees washing her legs she fisted her hands in his hair “I love you.” She kissed his silver hair “You don’t celebrate Christmas but still accepted to decorate the house and wear a silly pyjama.”she was sobbing again “You are amazing and I think I must have done something right in my life to have you chose me and allow me to be at your side.” She blubbered “That was cheesy. I am sorry.” He stood and pulled her back into an embrace “I didn’t allow anything. You stormed into my life and made camp in it. And I am glad you did. I meant it last night when I said I will do everything to make you happy. Even wear a silly pyjama or decorate the house with fairy lights.” His hands cupped her face “we are going to have a fun day, relax and enjoy time together with the people who matter to us.” She kissed him deeply and he pinned her against the wall. “What are you doing? We have guests.” She said against his mouth. “Lysandra told me to come and get you and that you needed me right now. I am just fulfilling my role as dutiful fiancée.” “Do your worst, Whitethorn.”

It was twenty minutes later when they left the shower and walked back into the living room. Lysandra and Aedion were snuggled on the floor with a blanket around them and were talking quietly. “Sorry guys,” apologised Aelin joining them “Rowan went to get the food.” “Are you oaky?” Aelin sighed “I think so.” “That bad last night?” Aelin shook her head “No. Not really. I had so much worse. No, I just feel exhausted.” “Come here,” Lysandra hugged her and pulled her close “Aedion and I were looking at houses out of curiosity. We thought that if we move here we could just buy a house.” Aelin turned her head “That means that you two are really serious about each other.” Lysandra nodded “It took us a while, but yeah.” And Aedion nodded. Rowan arrived five minutes later with plates full of food. Aedion helped him to move back the coffee table and he sat the food down. “I got some booze as well.” “I’ll take a beer if you have it,” said Aedion. “Do you have wine?” “Of course, m’lady.” Rowan replied with a bow and Lysandra giggled. “I’ll just have water. I don’t feel like drinking.” When Rowan got back they finally settled down. The pillows were against the sofa and they had a blanket for each couple. Aelin snuggled against Rowan and brought the plate toward her. They had set her laptop on the table and they were ready for the movie marathon “What do we start with?” “Love Actually, of course. It’s the tradition.” Aedion sighed “Babe, you girls have seen that movie a million times. Something new?” “Shh…” she placed a finger on his lips “It’s what the tradition dictates.” When the movie finished a couple of hours later, Lysandra was snuggled against Aedion but Aelin had fallen asleep in Rowan’s arms. “She is completely out.” He said. The three of them kept watching movies but Aelin never woke up or even moved. Once it was late, they decided to call it a night and everyone went back to their room. Rowan lifted Aelin in his arms and took her to bed. He deposited her gently and she woke up. “Shhh go back to sleep. I just put you in bed.” “What time is it?” She asked sleepily. “It’s almost eleven. Everyone went to bed.” “Did I sleep the whole day?” Rowan nodded. “I am horrible.” He joined her in bed, pulled her in his arms and lay down with her covering them with their duvet “No, you were not. You were tired. You worked all night. They both know. No one was mad.” “Did you watch many movies?” “A few. Aedion and I introduced Lysandra to Star Wars.” “Finally, I tried for years.” “Now go back to sleep. You are woking again tomorrow.” Aelin nodded and snuggled tightly against him. “Good night, Buzzard.” “Good night, Fireheart.”

[lightskinrry]

no wedding for the bad boys

The one where the bachelor’s party doesn’t go according to the plan

A/N: hello cuties,,, after not writing for a while im back with some angsty shit!!!! i hope you guys like it and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts with me about this mess!!

Word Count: 5k

TW: a loooooot of alcohol; gambling and ANGST.

One of the things you liked so much about being the single friend was that you were always the one to keep the party alive. And now you were about to birth the best party of all times. Your best friend was getting married in two weeks and you were in charge of the bachelor’s party.

And with great power comes great responsibility, you had to plan everything and keep it a surprise. And if there was one thing you sucked at; it was keeping secrets, especially from Harry. He always had his way with you; it was hard keeping anything from him.

You couldn’t quite believe he was getting married. You watched him grow from a horny teenager to a beautiful and inspiring man. You saw him give his first concert in his mom’s living room and then watched him sold out arenas around the world.

You gave him his first kiss and helped him cheat his math tests and now you were his best-woman at his wedding. You helped him break up with his exes, held him while he cried, bringing him tequila and ice cream on bad days, making him laugh once the tears dried away. And he always did the same for you. And now you were gonna be by his side like you’ve always been on the most beautiful day of his life.

You had your little reluctance towards his future spouse. She was a beautiful and independent woman but you felt like you couldn’t see through her. Maybe because she entered into your lives not so long ago and you needed more time to get her. You could tell she didn’t like you much, anyway.

They’ve been together for less than a year and Harry “commitment issues” Styles proposed to her, to everybody’s surprise; even his own.

His mom tried to tell him that he had to be sure before pulling out such a great move. But he was so infatuated, it was too beautiful to bring him back to reality.

You didn’t want to interfere anyway so when he told you, despite your surprise and little bitterness; you supported him like a good friend.

He seemed so happy and into her, you didn’t want to let him know you didn’t trust his future wife or that to you all of this seemed premature. You also didn’t want your own feelings to balance his.

Anyway, you started planning the party ahead of time and everything was going rather well. Miss (future) Styles gave you some instructions and rules to follow regarding the party because Harry said you could do anything you wanted except if she wasn’t okay with it. So no strippers, no hookers, no clowns. Who would even bring a clown to a bachelor party? Well it seemed she didn’t want that anyway. She also said not too much alcohol and no drugs. She could’ve just tell you to cancel the party at that extent. But you had to give in to her commands...

Looked like you were about to organize a tea party for elderly people… Literally, bring out the cucumber sandwiches and put milk in your tea like these old rich british dudes.

You had to find a way to make a real bachelor party. Something huge and iconic; something legendary. You planned on giving Harry a Barney’s worthy type of party.

You thought about every outcomes that could make his future wife freak out. So you decided instead of staying too close to her, why not make a spontaneous move.

You met with the groomsmen and basically all yours and Harry’s friends that would be attending the party to make sure everyone was in with the plan and obviously said nothing to Harry.

You kept the secret until d-day.

You were waiting for him, wearing your red suit, in the lobby. “Harry, we’re leaving now, man. If you’re not out that door in 2, we’ll celebrate your party without you.”

He rushed through the hallway. “I’m right here. Ready to party like I’m already seventy.”

You told him about his bride-to-be restrictions concerning the party so he didn’t expect anything crazy. “No worries, baby. You still look young.”

It was a short ride to his favorite restaurant. You were driving, screaming-singing the lyrics to Got To Be Real and he was singing with you, taking breaks in his track to laugh with you. You parked in his usual spot and walked through the door, all your friends already sitting at the table, cheering when they saw the two of you walking in.

“Ah! Here he is! The man of the night!” Jeff stood to welcome Harry to the table.

You both took a sit and order a few drinks.

The evening went fast, you had great dinner, shared cuban cigars, good alcohol and had the best chocolate cake. Everything was moderate just like Tania asked; a fancy dinner in a fancy restaurant, not too much alcohol and nobody blacked out.... yet.

Harry stood, raising his glass to make a toast. “Thank you guys so much for tonight. I know we wanted to throw a rock’n’roll party…” He gave you a sly look. “But I appreciate that you took the time and care to give me a real grownup bachelor party.” He laughed a little. “I love you guys. I feel so lucky to have friends like you. So supportive and thoughtful. Thank you.”

All of you cheered on him. And one by one all of your friends left, claiming to be going home to their spouses. You and Harry were the last one to leave the restaurant. You stood next to the car, as Harry thanked the staff, waiting for him to come to you.

“So… I have a little surprise for you.” You gave him a sneaky smile.

“Oh god, this cannot be good.”

You smiled and pulled out a blindfold out of your pocket. He shook his head. “No. No. No. That doesn’t look good at all.”

You giggled and insisted. “C’mon. It’s your bachelor party. I promise it’s going to be fun but not too much.” You smiled. “Do you trust me?”

He sighed loudly… “Fine, Y/N. You better not throw me in the back of a truck or some kidnapping bullshit like that.”

You scoffed. “No worries.”

He closed his eyes and you put yourself behind him, placed the blindfold on his face and smiled contentedly. “Good. Now just follow me, baby. I got big plans for you.”

He laughed nervously and turned around to face you. “I feel like I might die tonight. But you know what? I trust you and your fucking crazy ideas. I knew you couldn’t just stop at dinner party and cigars.”

You gave him your best evil laugh and directed him to his seat in the car. You placed yourself in the driver seat, put on your playlist and drove.

After about 30 minutes driving and Harry complaining about the blindfold, you pulled over in the parking lot. You directed Harry through the airport, up until the gate of the plane. There all of your friends were waiting silently, smiling slyly.

“I can’t believe you convinced him.”

Harry turned around on himself. “Mitch?”

All your friends cheered to let him know they were all here.

“Fuck, so that was a group plan, huh? What did she convinced me to do? Because I can tell we’re in a airport, I’m not deaf and this is a bad plan, I can already tell. This is a bad plan.”

You all laughed and you gently stroked Harry’s shoulder. “Harry, when did I ever put you in a bad situation?”

“That time in Atlanta when we ended up-”

“This never happened. It was a fever dream. You know I would never put you in a bad situation.” You cut him in his track, remembering the misadventure.

“What about that night in NYC last year? I remember that basement, Y/N.”

“This wasn’t a bad situation, just a plan that kinda failed.”

He giggled before turning around again. “Okay, so what’s the plan that will most certainly fail today?”

“You get your ass on that plane and you’ll see!”

Harry sighed but with the help of everyone, he got on the plane. You took the blindfold off him and made sure to keep him busy during the flight.

After the pilot announced the destination, you watched Harry’s soul leave his body.

“Vegas? Fucking Vegas? You guys are all mad. Mad men. Does Tania even know?”

All of you gave him a big smile and said “Surprise!” in harmony.

“She doesn’t know. We’ll call her later. Just relax, mate.” Tom smiled at Harry and laid back in his seat.

Harry leaned in your ear and whispered. “She’s going to kill both of us, you know that?”

“Then we’ll both die after the best party of our lives.”

The flight was fun. You guys chattered and laughed. Harry was finally relaxing and giving into the mood. You couldn’t wait until you land to show him all you planned for tonight. But mostly all you didn’t plan; the best nights you spent with Harry were the ones that started without a plan. The ones that were supposed to be chilling at home. Actually even chilling at home turned into the best night. That was the thing; even the most boring shit can be amazing if you’re with the right people.

***

After landing and getting down from the plane, you lead Harry and all your friends to where the party was at; everywhere. You were painting the town red tonight.

You started with a few drinks in the lobby of the hotel, making your way downtown to a Casino just for the sake of being in Vegas, then you moved to a ballroom where a 30s theme party was going on. You sipped on Martinis and Manhattans until the fancy drinks were getting boring so you moved the group to a grunge club. Everybody was dancing and drinking and whatever else they found amusing. You could tell everyone was having fun, especially Harry.

Around 2AM some girl proposed to your group to come to her place cause she was throwing an after-party.  And obviously, everyone followed because following drunk strangers is fun.

You ended up at her place; all of y’all in a tiny apartment with some trash music and cheap alcohol, dancing and screaming until the neighbors called the cops for disturbance. So everyone, as drunk (and high for some) as they were, started leaving and running when the pigs showed up. You rolled with Harry, running through the night in the neighbourhood, laughing and breathing loudly.

“Fuck! I knew this was gonna end badly!” Harry laughed at you while reaching to grab your hand so you could run as fast as he did. You tightened your grip around his hand once you had it and ran to a dark corner.

You placed your hands on your knees and sighed, breathing deeply. “It could’ve been worse. The pigs could’ve arrested us.”

“I’m pretty sure my negotiation skills would’ve gotten us out anyways.”

You scoffed. “Your white ass face would’ve been enough, baby.”

He laughed and grabbed your hands to keep going further away from the girl’s house and the police car. You both were too drunk to even think correctly about where to go. You sent a text to the groupchat asking if everyone was okay and to meet up at the hotel.

But neither you or Harry could tell what way to go so you walked for a little while, stopping by any bar you came across  to get another drink.

You walked for about an hour and you were finally heading back into the city center. Your feet hurt so you stopped in a little park next to a Casino and a crappy motel.

You sat your ass down on a bench and grabbed Harry’s hand to make him sit next to you. He sighed and sat. You watched the sky for a little while.

“The stars look like a bunch of beans. Like a shit ton of beans flying above us.”

You laughed at his drunken comment. “Yep, a sky full of fucking beans.”

You both started singing the Coldplay’s song in harmony but replacing stars with beans all the way through the chorus and cracking up in laughter everytime you emphasize the word ‘beans’.

Harry took a long breath after his giggle and sighed. “Fuck, I’m gonna miss this.”

You looked at him for a second. “What do you mean?”

“Having fun with you like that. I’m gonna miss it.”

“But none of us is going anywhere?” You were pretty confused about his statement.

“Tania wants to settle in Los Angeles.” He turned his head to look at you. “And you know… You’re not…in Los Angeles, you. You’re not.”

You didn’t expect that. You thought if Harry was to ever settle somewhere it’d be in London. “You mean you’re gonna spend all your free time in LA? Fucking LA? Drinking grass smoothies all the time?”

He chortled at your comment. “It seems like that’s the plan.”

You stayed silent for a few minutes, taking the information in. It felt worse than a breakup; you were losing your best-friend and without even knowing it, you threw the goodbye party.

“So you’re really going to marry her and move and we’ll never see each other again?”

Obviously alcohol made it all even more dramatic to you; it was an overwhelming emotion.

“Not never again…”

“C’mon, you know damn well what happens when longtime friends part sides! We’ve watched How I Met Your Mother together!”

He chuckled and then took a deep breath. The air was suddenly heavier, and all the alcohol in your blood was making it hard to keep the focus on the serious conversation.

“We should do one last crazy ass thing together. It’s not like we’re gonna remember it anyway!” Harry pointed the casino with his head.

“You mean blow all of our money on bets and shots of patron?”

“Yep, that’s exactly what I mean.”

You didn’t check your phone as it rang in your pocket and followed up behind Harry running towards the Casino.

You took a last round of shots in the lobby. And you started shouting at Harry, your glass in the air. “You know what? I just remembered you’re getting fucking married, dude! Married? Fucking married. I can’t believe I’m gonna say this but fuck this bitch you’re engaged to.”

Harry laughed and shouted back. “Hey! I’m already fucking this bitch I’m engaged to!”

You cracked up in a laugh. “Noooooo! I mean she sucks! She wants to take you away. Awaaaaaaay.” You hiccuped and took a breath.

“I’m in love with you. I’ve been since like fifth grade or whatever.” You chugged down the rest of your glass.

Harry stopped for a second, he placed his glass on the bar. “Wow. That’s a revelation.”

He giggled and took a sip of his tequila. “I’ve been in love with you since like….. That time in third grade when you punched me in the chin cause there was a bee on me….”

“Oh fuck! I remember…. Your lip bled so much.” You let a little laugh slip through your lips. The alcohol in your blood made you lose sense of the importance of the words you just shared with Harry and what he shared back. And you thought for a second that maybe it was just drunk talk but the stupid smile you couldn’t get off your face reminded you the truth of it: it was going to stink in the morning.

After making sure both of you got enough drinks, you led him in the Casino and stopped at the first roulette table.

“Okay.” You looked at Harry. “What’s the bet though? Cause I will be putting money on something I have no idea how to play.”

“Well if I win, then you have to elope with me.”

“Oh shit.” You took a deep breath. “Fair, but if I win, we are eloping this motherfucker together.”

He scoffed. “Looks like we’re eloping tonight… That word is fucking weird, though. Eloping.”

“Who cares about the word! I’m betting on number 22 and 15. What about you baby?”

Harry took a look at the roulette for a second, placed the cash he had in his pocket on the table. “22;15.” He looked at you with a smug smile.

The dealer spinned the wheel and revealed the winning number. “22. You win.”

You collected your payout with Harry, left a big tip to the server and ran out the Casino to find a chapel.

“This is going to be so bad!!” You laughed out while running with Harry.

“Like every plan you’ve ever put me into.”

You stopped in front of the chapel at the back of the crappy motel.

“I don’t want to get married to Tania… She’s amazing. I love her so much. But it’s so boring. So boring. I want stupid plans and crappy basements party and casinos and unexpected flights and I want to be able to say when I’m 78 and I don’t have no hair left and I smell like old shoes and cheese that I married my best friend and I never regretted anything.”

“You’re being too fucking deep, Harry. There’s a Madonna drag as the officiant in this chapel. You are going to regret this.”

He chuckled before taking your hand. “We, Y/N. We are going to regret this.”

“Yep.”

You took a step into the chapel, glanced at Harry’s face to be met with a big smile and his drunken eyes. “Fuck this, I guess?”

***

You woke up with a terrible headache, your eyes could barely open because the light was too bright in the room. There was a weird smell of old alcohol, carpet and coconut air freshener. You opened your eyes fully only for your vision to be blurry as hell, the ceiling was moving and your head was so heavy, you couldn’t lift it up. You tried to look around you, seeing pulled up green sheets over your naked body and what seemed to be the curves of someone laying next to you. You felt a rumbling in your stomach and that’s the moment you knew; you had to get up…. because you were going to throw up.

You rushed to the bathroom and closed the door behind you. After emptying your stomach, you sat on the floor for a few seconds. The bathroom was small and poorly lit with a little window over the bathtub. You stood up and washed your face, taking the time to look at yourself in the dirty old mirror over the sink. Your hair was a mess and your make up was smudged. You had a huge hickey on your neck and little ones following down to your chest. You got out of the bathroom, holding your head and stumbling slightly. The room was clear since the curtains were pulled, you peaked at who was sleeping in the bed and found Harry, draped in the sheets peacefully snoring. You swallowed the gulp in your throat; this wasn’t good. You checked your phone and to no surprise you had a shit ton of missed calls and texts from your group of friends. Some asking if you’re okay, others where you’re at and some insulting you for not answering.

You gently shook Harry’s body. “Wake up.” He moaned before pulling back the covers to his face. You tugged on them to uncover him, leaving his chest bare. “Wake up, Harry.”

He groaned and turned around to lay on his back, his face turned to the ceiling. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost 9.” He turned to face you, opening slightly his eyes to peek at you. “You’re naked.” He nonchalantly said. You blushed for a second pulling the covers off him to cover yourself. He looked down to himself. “I’m naked, too.”

A floating silence lasted a few seconds before Harry jumped out of bed to find his underwear. “I’m naked! I’m naked. You’re naked. We’re in a bed. We’re in…. Where even are we?”

“In a motel somewhere in Vegas.”

“In Vegas?” His voice got two octaves higher. “Why are we in Vegas?”

“For your bachelor party, Harry. Stop freaking out.”

“Are you asking me not to freak out? We’re in a bloody crappy motel in Vegas and we’re both naked. I can’t remember what happened last night for the life of me and my head is killing me.”

He sat down on the edge of the bed, putting his pants back on. You looked at his back and you could see slight scratches marks with the sun light. You started getting dressed too, as fast as you could. Harry grabbed his phone and started scrolling down. You heard him sigh loudly.

“The fuck we did last night, Y/N?”

“Wish I could give you an answer, Harry. All I remember is getting on the plane and then it’s a black hole.”

“Well…” He got up from the bed, wearing only his trousers. You watched his chest for a second, his tattoos and his glowing chest in the sunlight. You caught yourself staring at him; his shoulders, his chest hair, your glaze going down to his trail.

“Y/N?” Harry’s voice resonated.

“Huh?”

“Did you hear what I said?” He tilted his head to the side and gave you a confused look.

“What did you say?” Your eyes lowered to the floor so that you would stop looking at him.

“I said I hope we didn’t do anything stupid. The wedding is next week. I have a stressed and very angry bride-to-be waiting for me at home and at the look of her texts, I’m in for a bad fight.”

You pinched your lips at the thought. What if you did something stupid? What if you messed up? It was already a stressful time for them. And you stewed in with a giant weekend party in Vegas when the instruction was clear: no big party.

“Let’s go find the others and finish our weekend.”

Harry scoffed as he picked up his shirt. “I’m going home. I’m sorry if I’m breaking the mood but I’m hopping on the next flight back to LA.”

***

You couldn’t quite figure out how to place the flashbacks from the weekend. It was already Monday and the wedding was in 6 days. You had flashes of a party in a small and unknown apartment and running in the streets with Harry and playing in a Casino but still nothing on how you got into the motel with him. Harry went back home on Saturday morning and from his voice message last night; he got quite into fight with Tania. She wasn’t happy at all with the Vegas plan but Harry reassured her and apparently everything was better today. You wondered if Harry remembered anything more than you, maybe he could fill in the blanks.

You knew the week was going to go fast and the wedding would be here sooner than you’d think, so you just hoped nothing unexpected would come back to you or him.

On Wednesday, you met up with Harry and the groomsmen for last minute check-ins for the wedding. You walked into the manor Harry reserved for the ceremony and as an obvious bad sign, Tania didn’t even said hello to you and avoided any eye-contact. You kinda wanted to apologize to her. After all, you did mess up a little bit.

“Hey guys.” You walked up to where your friends was.

“Hey Y/N. Did you pick up the ring from the jeweler?” Harry didn’t even look at you. He was signing some papers with the caterer and just asked the question without looking up.

“Yep. Got it right in the bag.”

Harry gave you a little look and you felt weird about it. It wasn’t his usual ‘thanks for doing the job’ look or anything tender. It was cold and almost professional.

You went over your check-ins with the groomsmen. You didn’t talk to Harry for the two hours you were there, not a word or a look. You knew something was off so once the work was done, you asked him to meet you in the bathroom.

You were standing next to the sink, checking your reflection when Harry walked in.

“Is there something wrong with the ceremony?” He asked bluntly.

“No.. Um… I just wanted… needed… to talk to you.”

“About?” He wanted to cut the conversation short and you hated this feeling in your stomach.

You sighed and smiled tenderly to him. “Well… How are you feeling? The big day is so close.”

“I’m feeling okay.” His answer was sharp but you were desperate to understand what was going on.

“Harry… What’s wrong? Why are you so cold?” You insisted.

He took a deep breath and closed the door behind him, making sure it’s locked.

“You know how I said I hope we didn’t do anything stupid in Vegas?”

“Yes.” You were confused about where he was going with that but it seemed bad.

“Well, we did something stupid.” His jaw clenched and you felt out of breath. “We did something so fucking stupid, Y/N.” You swallowed the gulp in your throat. “We fucked. I can’t even believe it. I don’t even remember how we ended up in that crappy fucking room. All I remember is how I had sex with….” He didn’t even look at you. “I cheated on my wife, before we even fucking got married.”

You couldn’t say anything, the images slowly came back to you.

“You have nothing to say, huh?”

Your ‘humour coping mechanism in stressful situations’ reflex kicked in at the wrong time. “Well, technically it’s not cheating, the bachelor party is a single man party.” You laughed nervously.

“It’s all your fault. We said no fucking party. No big stupid plans, but you had to go against our wishes because you’re so fucking selfish.”

You couldn’t say a word. You never seen Harry so mad at you before.

“Look, I’m sorry your dating life is such a mess. And that you can’t find anyone, but I did. I found someone. Someone amazing and then I fucked this shit up because you couldn’t go without one party.” He rapidly passed his hand through his hair, and sighed.

You felt anger boiling down in your stomach. Him being mad was comprehensible but it wasn’t all your fault.

“You fucked this shit up, yourself. I wanted to throw a fun bachelor party for my best friend. You wouldn’t have had sex with me if you didn’t wanted to. Because deep down, you know you don’t want this marriage. You don’t want to be stuck with Miss Boring Pants and spend the rest of your life here in LA, drinking grass smoothies and having to partake in her posh high standard life. You know that’s not what you want. You know it was premature to propose so soon in the relationship. You’re mad at yourself, Harry. Get a grip. You shouldn’t do this.”

It all slipped. You just couldn’t hold it in.

“I shouldn’t do what?” Harry’s face was red, his nostrils were open and the vein on his neck was popping. You could tell he was holding back the tears at the gate.

You took a deep breath and a calm voice. “Get married. You shouldn’t get married.”

He filled his lungs with air and exhaled loudly, trying to keep his composure.

“Listen carefully Y/N. You are nobody to tell me what I should or shouldn't do. What happened in Vegas was a drunken mistake and I won’t let it ruin the best day of my life. I won’t let you ruin the best day of my life. So here’s what’s going to happen. We’re going to go through the ceremony with no slips and then I’m moving to LA with Tania. And you, you move out of my life.”

Your heart sank to your stomach, and your face was boiling; the tears slowly gathering in your eyes.

“You don’t mean it.” Your voice was almost like a whisper.

“I do, Y/N. From now on, I just want to make sure this wedding is the perfect wedding Tania wants.”

He unlocked the door of the bathroom and left without looking back. You brought your hand to your chest as if it would soothe the pain and let the tears flow down your face. It couldn’t be real.

***

It was hard going on like nothing happened but if there was anything you could do right now was make sure you got your best-woman duties done. The wedding was tomorrow and you had to finish your speech. What would you even say? “To my ex-best friend, I wish you the best to you and your boring wife.” That sounds about right.

You were waiting for Jeff to come in with the last informations regarding the ceremony so that tomorrow everything goes according to the plan. You heard a knock on your door, you got up thinking Jeff came in early and opened up. A postman with a big envelope was standing there.

“Y/N  Y/L/N?” He asked, looking up from his notes.

“Yes, herself.”

He asked for your id and verified it. “That’s for you.” He handed you the enveloppe and after you took it, asked for you to sign the delivery papers.

You thanked him and got back inside. You sat on the sofa to open it, there was a Vegas postage on it and your heart missed a bit.

You slowly opened the envelope. Inside you found a marriage license legally binding you and Harry for life. You pinched your lips and took a deep breath. This was a mess, a huge mess.

How on point was this news? Good way to make sure his ceremony goes exactly like they planned when you’re going to come in and let them know they can’t get married anymore.

You sat back and tried to clear your mind.

You were officially married to Harry…. And Harry is about to actually get married tomorrow. This didn’t make much sense but you had to think of a solution and quick.