#not wonderful enough to make me stop bitching about dumb shit but. you know.

[hippy-pants]

"I feel like a middle schooler again!" (positive thing): listening to Green Day

"I feel like a middle schooler again!" (negative thing): using Snapchat

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie Morningstar, actual princess of hell, sitting very stiff and straight and awkward on the throne of hell during a Formal Thing, looking very Uncomfy about it... until....

Vaggie: "Are you guys all blind? She's gorgeous up there."

Angel Dust: "No surprises YOU'D like seein' her all stiff."

Vaggie: "Fuck off. She looks dignified. Formal-"

Alastor: "Tense?"

Niffty: "Like rigger mortis!"

Cherri Bomb: "Like she's sitting on TNT."

Angel Dust: "Stiffer than a porn star tryn'a pay rent."

Husk: "I can hear her fucking teeth grinding through that forced grin."

Vaggie: "Alright, she's a bit nervous sitting on the throne of hell for the first time, filling in for the absent queen mom and the shut in king dad. So what."

Alastor: "It is becoming SLIGHTLY detrimental, ha ha!"

Vaggie: "You told her to sit still up there and look pretty. Look. She's sitting. She's pretty."

Angel Dust: "You're gay."

Vaggie: "Hi gay I'm her girlfriend."

Husk: (snorts)

Alastor: "I'm SURE she is ALL those things, my dear-"

Vaggie: "Touch me and the sleeve comes off with your arm in it."

Husk: (SNIGGERS)

Alastor: "-but she IS mainly meant to be inspiring CONFIDENCE in her ability to run hell as it's de-facto ruler!"

Vaggie: "And?"

Alastor: "Well it WOULD be nice if she could make the symbolic at of sitting on the throne of hell, in full view of what is MEANT to be HER royal court, seem just a BIT more, hrmm... NATURAL~"

Vaggie: "What the fuck does that mean. She's princess of Hell. However she sits on the dumb chair is natural."

Angel Dust: "Toots, she's third in line ruler of all Pride, an' she looks..."

Niffty: "WRETCHED!"

Husk: "Fucking pitiful."

Alastor: "Once again I shall go with TENSE."

Vaggie: "You want her to relax up there?"

Alastor: "I would rather say, it is VITAL that she does so~!"

Cherri Bomb: "No sweat. Someone give me a drink and I'll slip her a chill pill."

Vaggie: "No."

Angel Dust: "NO!"

Niffty: "I could try giving her acupuncture!"

Angel Dust: "Cherri, we've TALKED about this-"

Husk: "You fucking know how?"

Cherri Bomb: "-don't be sucha stick in the mud, Angie."

Niffty: "You PUNCTURE!"

Angel Dust: "I ain't being a stick in the mud! You-"

Husk: "Unholy shit stop giggling and give me that fucking knife-"

Cherri Bomb: "Yeah, and I wasn't gonna get her royal highness high for real. Just something to take off the edge-"

Angel Dust: "She's got no history with that stuff! She'd be a KITE!"

Vaggie: "Someone hold my drink."

Husk: "-and where the fuck are YOU going?"

Vaggie: "Gonna go help my girlfriend."

Angel Dust: "Whoa whoa wait toots- ya supposed to be lying LOW here, Vagisaurus! Ex-exorcist bitch, remember? Lot's a people here who'd like to KILL ya???"

Vaggie: "If anyone's pissed enough to run up the dais steps and try murdering the princess of hell's partner right in front of her then they deserve to get at least one hit on me. You guys have fun, stick together, don't get killed."

Husk: "Take your own fucking advice-"

Angel Dust: "-aaaand she's took off, right in front of EVERYBODY oh that's just GREAT."

Niffty: "Alastor? Do you want her to die..?"

Alastor: "Right now, dearest? Well! If it helps our princess put on more of a royal bearing, then I fail to see why she shouldn't!"

Cherri Bomb: "Dude."

-

Charlie: "-eighty-three million ducks on the wall, eighty-three million duuucks... take one down.... pass it around..."

Charlie: "-don't think about how easy mom made this look don't think about her seeing you up here and wondering where she went wrong and maybe she did and that's why she left don't think about it don't think-"

Charlie: "... eighty-two million nine-hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine-hundred and ninety-nine ducks on the waaalllll-"

Vaggie: (swoops down) "Hey."

Charlie: "-oh thank HELL Vaggie! I was just getting-"

(gets smooched)

Charlie: "..."

Charlie: ".... hhh...hi..."

Vaggie: "This armrest taken?"

Charlie: "What armrest. Oh! The THRONE right um no I mean yes you can, or- or we could get you your own chair if you want-!"

Vaggie: "Thanks babe, this is good."

Charlie: "It's- it's close!"

Vaggie: "Nice being on eye level for once."

Charlie: "or kiss level."

Vaggie: "Hm?"

Charlie: "NO NOTHING. Ahem!" (using gf's thigh as armrest)

Charlie: "Sooo, how's the party going down there?"

Vaggie: "Typical. Niffty brought a knife."

Charlie: "A knife? Just one??"

Vaggie: "We'll see."

Charlie: "I... guess just a knife's not too bad-"

Vaggie: "Heavenly steel."

Charlie: "H- Did you confiscate-?"

Vaggie: "Husk's working on it. I had better things to do."

Charlie: "Oh." (drooping) "Better things right. Other things. Just checking in on me huh? Um, what is the other things that need doing?"

Vaggie: "Charlie."

Charlie: "Shoot did I forget something?"

Vaggie: "You didn't-"

Charlie: "Something IMPORTANT?"

Vaggie: "Sweetie, you're things."

Charlie: "My things??"

Vaggie: "The things are you."

Charlie: "I'M things? What things- OH I'M THE-"

Charlie: "-I'm the things that need doing."

Vaggie: "Do you?"

Charlie: "N-not in public!"

Vaggie: "Guess you'll have to wait, then."

Charlie: "..."

Charlie: "You know, these are the only times I ever wonder about you maybe being a liiiittle itty bit evil."

Vaggie: "Punishment to fit the sin, babe. I've been having to look at you all evening."

Charlie: "I was WONDERING why your wings were showing!"

Vaggie: "You bring it out in me."

Charlie: "HEHEHEHEH."

Vaggie: "So now we're just gonna have to suffer together for the rest of the night."

Charlie: "That phrasing isn't helping."

Vaggie: "You playing with the hem of my skirt isn't helping."

Charlie: "YOU'RE the one almost sitting on my LAP."

Vaggie: "Emphasis on almost."

Charlie: (sigh) "I wish you were sitting on my lap..."

Vaggie: "You're basically melting into mine now, so there's that."

Charlie: "Your fault." (pouts) "Evil temptress of cuddles denied."

Vaggie: "Hellishly cute seductress."

Charlie: "Distracting tease."

Vaggie: "Speaking of distracting, think the whole room's looking this way now."

Charlie: "Can't blame them. You're lovely, Vaggie."

Vaggie: "Charmer."

Charlie: "Beautiful~"

Random Sinner: (charges over) "Murdering EXORCIST! You-"

(FwooOOM HELLFIRE)

Demon Charlie: (SNARLS)

Random Sinner: "...."

Random Sinner: "..... your wings are.. very pretty."

Vaggie: "Thanks."

Demon Charlie: "ANY oThER WORDS?"

Random Sinner: "C-congratulations on the girlfriend, your highness!"

Charlie: (beaming) (sparkling) "Thank you!!"

Random Sinner: (slightly charred) (eases back into the crowd)

Vaggie: "...."

Charlie: "I know I know..." (huffs) "That was a bit-"

Vaggie: "Hot."

Charlie: "Oh hush." (smirks) (drapes herself over gf's lap again)

-

Alastor: "...Well!"

Angel Dust: "She sure ain't stiff anymore."

Alastor: "Quite so."

Husk: "She's fucking liquefying."

Alastor: "Hrmm..."

Angel Dust: "Liquid like lighter fluid. She ROASTED that guy."

Cherri Bomb: "Are we like, SURE no one slipped anything in her drink..?"

Niffty: "Do you see any DEAD BODIES around Vaggie!?"

Cherri Bomb: "Uh, no?"

Niffty: "Awww. Then no."

Husk: "My grip hasn't gone limp though- Niffty, stop trying to take back the fucking angel knife."

Niffty: "THERE AREN'T ANY CORPSES HERE AT LEAST LET ME HAVE THIS!!!"

Husk: "Fuck no! You'll make corpses!"

Niffty: "I KNOOOOW!!!"

Angel Dust: "Not tonight, Niff."

Niffty: (hanging limply off of knife handle) (sobbing)

Alastor: "Oh dearest don't CRY~" (pats niffty) "Come now- why don't we RELISH how the crowd shies back in FEAR from our DARLING hotel founder!"

Cherri Bomb: "Uhh, they might just be cringing back from all the glittery rainbows..?"

Niffty: (sniffling) "Cr- cringing's good..."

Husk: "She sure as fuck does look full of pride now."

Alastor: "Indeed! MOST satisfactory!"

Cherri Bomb: "Gay pride."

Angel Dust: "In her fucked up battle scarred heavenly wash out murder girlfriend who's giving her big soppy I'm-so-in-love looks."

Alastor: "Ah HA...! Close enough~"

[tastesousweet]

⭒ blurb : podcasting

bf!hamzah x poc!reader

summary: based on this ask!!! little blurb of the times you pop up on the ooc podcast

mickey speaks: this was so funny to write!!! also i need to be hamzah's gf yesterday bitch

─────────── · · ୨୧ · · ───────────

hamzah having you in an episode with mandy and martin

“oh wow this couch gets kinda tight when four people are squeezed on here” hamzah says while adjusting a few pillows

“yeah,” martin starts before addressing the audience, “and, well, you’re probably wondering ‘who the heck is that?!’” he gestures his hand over to you, beside hamzah with your legs folded and knees lying against his thigh

you can’t help but smile as hamzah introduces you, “and, yeah, believe it or not i have a girlfriend.”

“i’m right next to you so i’d hope they believe it” give a soft giggle

“only hamzah would announce he has a girlfriend with ‘believe it or not’” mandy adds and hamzah throws a hand up in the air in defeat

★

martin: “i can’t help but think this feels like in middle school when people were just group dating all the time”

hamzah: “was group dating that common? i don’t remember that”

you: “i remember certain friend groups at my school doing that but i definitely wasn't participating”

mandy: “this isn’t really a group though martin, more like a double date? there’s four of us”

martin: "it's not all about numbers mandy sometimes there's just a vibe"

★

martin: “but you two have been dropping hints about dating for a while now”

you: “yeah, we’ve been doing a little soft launching here and there”

martin: “i like that term a lot actually”

mandy: “i think it’s cute, but i've seen a lot of people online that don't use it properly”

you: "i agreeeee, like you didn't soft launch by posting the back of his head if we already saw the front of it a week ago- we know who he is!!! there is no mystery"

martin: "oh so the appeal is the mystery... almost like scooby doo?"

hamzah, nodding his head: "mhm... exactly"

you: "it's always two dumb bitches telling each other-"

you and hamzah together: "exactlyyyyy"

martin looks over to mandy as the two of you laugh: "oh come on this is their first episode together and look at them mandy! we have to be cuter, come on. lock in."

hamzah: "hey no need to be jealous, my friend."

hamzah pats martins thigh

mandy: "so what was that right there?"

hamzah: "you wouldn't understand..."

martin: "no but seriously mandy you never soft launched me- only hard"

mandy: "there was no need to??? next time i'll do it i guess"

you, laughing: "next time???"

hamzah is sat in thought for an extra second before he replies to martin, making them both laugh

hamzah: “okay martin you said like that term so much? boy, now imma soft launch these nuts in your mouth”

you: "and i know you were thinking on that joke for a minute"

martin, through laughs: “okay, okay, enough”

hamzah, wiping his eyes: “well, now the jig is up. you know it's all aired out and public”

martin: “yeah... a hard launch on the podcast, that’s crazy bro”

you and mandy, mocking: “that’s craaazzyy brooo”

★

hamzah answering your call during a podcast

martin: “hamzah whenever you buy clothes from the store or get it shipped in the mail always wash your clothes!”

hamzah: “i do wash my clothes but if it’s new that doesn’t make any sense”

martin: “so you’re just gonna open it up and put it on?”

hamzah: “yes!”

hamzah’s phone starts ringing

martin: “and wow. now look who’s breaking the phone rule!”

hamzah: “stop shhh. it’s y/n”

he answers, hamzah: “hey what’s up?”

you see the mic in his hand and widen your eyes, you: “oh shit, i’m sorry to interrupt”

hamzah: “it’s okay i have something to ask you now anyway.”

you: "okayy.. do you wanna go first or me?"

hamzah: "you go ahead"

you: "okay quick- is this business casual enough for an event tonight?"

hamzah: "nobody is doing business lookin' that hot, you can't be serious"

you: "kay thanks"

hamzah, jokes: "you are not anyone's office siren, girl"

you: "i'm gonna hang up"

hamzah: "no!!! i need to ask if you wash your clothes after you buy them."

you: "if they smell like stale water and factory chemicals, yes"

hamzah: "martin is educating me on the importance of this unimportant thing right now."

you: "and you should listen to him, stinky"

martin: "thank you!"

hamzah: "oh nahhh, now i'm gonna hang up"

you: "mkayy bye, sorry for interrupting! bye martin!!!"

martin: "byee"

★

you drop something off at the warehouse studio while they’re filming

hamzah: "what was that noise?"

martin: "i don't know..."

hamzah: "it sounds like someone's actually trying to break in, what?"

martin: "were you expecting company?"

hamzah: "no, were you?"

martin: "no...i mean let's ask the audience"

martin turns to the camera, concerned

hamzah: "okay i'm actually about to go check. this is weird."

it cuts to a clip of hamzah sat again and you peeking your head in the frame to wave

hamzah: "nevermind. it was just my sweet girlfriend bringing us lunch, sorry if that scared you guys."

martin: "should we make like a super artifical thumbnail for clickbait? somethin' like; 'someone tried to kidnap us in our studio!'

hamzah: "no"

★

they have a trolling episode where you and mandy both sub in and act as martin and hamzah for an entire episode

mandy: "you know i find it crazy how we manage to talk about nothing for an entire hour"

you: "this is the talent people expect from us bro! and if we ever get too boring we can always discuss the state of sabrina and barry's relationship."

mandy: "true. and don't make fun of me but everytime man-crush monday comes around i'm always picking barry..."

you: "well if i can't make fun of you then i'll just stay quiet for your sake."

taglist -★ (some of u didn't ask to be tagged but have frequently liked my hamzah content lol, just lmk if you'd prefer not to be tagged!!!)

@sirenedeslily @333michelle @thatmartinkitten @@maybankfr @imsosillygoofylol @certainfestivalnerdshepherd

[sincerlycas]

What you heard.

inspired a bit by the song “what you heard” by sonder/brent faiyaz.

warning: spanking, rough sex, degrading, fluff, a bit toxic, eren yeager (yes this man is a warning), etc.

wrd count: 2k./ don’t forget to dm me for commissions <3

part 2.

“y/n baby what is your issue?” eren currently had your arm in his clutch stopping you from walking away from him any further. the lines on his forehead, and frown on his face showed he was really not trying to deal with this at the moment. “what’s my issue? really? so you’re going to tell me you walk around them campus halls not knowing what people say about you- about me- actually about you and other people ?” the reason you were mad was due to the fact a little birdie came up to you saying a girl named historia was going around saying eren gave her some, and knowing eren’s past with her, of course you had your doubts but still had a sense of worry.

you being the classy (aka petty) girlfriend you were, went to look for this historia girl for answers to which she gave you a high pitched laugh voicing “oh! I forgot he was dating.. you, it sure didn’t seem like it the way he was fucking me last Saturday .” off the rip you wanted to slap that bitch, but you knew better to make a scene for something that quite possibly might be a lie. “you know historia it’s quite ironic you said that because if I remember clearly eren said and I quote ‘I would never go back to that roast beef pussy looking hoe’ but maybe I didn’t hear right”

you mimicked the high pitched laugh she did earlier right after saying that walking past her with a bumb to the shoulder and a mumble near her ear saying “sour pussy ass hoe”.

but if you already handle the issue why are you still mad? It’s because even though you didn’t want to believe her, the timing made sense. see, last Saturday you weren’t with eren. he said he had to run a errand for the whole day so you were just hanging with your besties. that would be enough time for eren to be with her. still you didn’t want to believe it. so the day after the confrontation you went to campus looking fine as usual with your grey shorts body suits with a boob cut and some cool grey and thick glasses.

till you were stopped multiple times that day from people asking ‘are you okay’ ‘did historia really fuck eren’ ‘you should holla at me since old boy ain’t doing his job’. this what caused your mood to be sour the whole day.

finishing all your classes getting ready to head home you’re met with a smiling, handsome, fine like wine ass man in your face. that man being your boyfriend eren, he has finally showed his face on earth after all these rumors. “hey sweet mama, I was wondering if you could come by my hou-“ cutting him off by walking straight pass him, Ignoring him as if he was a rando. “baby! where you goin’” he jogged up next to you grabbing your arm stopping you near a secluded area. “y/n baby what is your issue?” leading up to the current moment so forth.

“what are you talking about? y/n you’re really going to stress me the fuck out.” he said while letting out a sigh and rolling his eyes. pushing him on his chest making him let go of your arm and pushing you jet black lace off your shoulder. pointing your long acrylic nail at his face you said “bitch don’t play dumb, there’s no way in hell the whole campus knows but you don’t when you’re literally the main topic” your crossed your arms staring at him as if was delusional. “y/n l/n when I say I don’t fucking know what you’re talking about, I mean that now stop fucking around and tell me what you heard.”

rolling your eyes you finally answered what he has been desperately waiting to know “why tf people especially historia, are coming up to me saying you fucked her.” and to that he laughed, he laughed in your face! “you really believe that shit, baby you know good and that girl is crazy.” shaking your head and staring up at him you asked “then where were you on Saturday” “I told you, I went to run errands.” “what kind?” he stared at you as if he was thinking of an excuse.

“you know what, save it tell me when you done with all this bullshit and call me till then dont call my mf phone.” leaving at that and hopping into your Mercedes and reaching your apartment.

laying down on your bed in your baby pink shorts and white cropped tank top you decided you would find answers yourself. you scrolled through your contacts and called connie a mutual friend of yours and erens. “yooooooo” automatically answering the phone with his forehead all up on the screen. “boy backup I got a question.” “what do you neeedddd” dragging his words annoyingly and setting his phone up. “eren said he was with you on Saturday what did y’all do?” lying through your teeth just see if it’ll work. “Oh- uh yeah we were on the game all day.” he nervously smiled and rubbed his neck. staring at him with a mean mug.

“yeah you a damn lie I can fucking tell cuz your nose is red bitch learn how to stop that.” hanging up on him you decided to try again and called jean. “hey y/n what you need” answering after a while and nicely. “I was wondering what you and eren were doing on Saturday he said he was with you.” “ohhh yeah me and him were at the park all day placing basketball.” hanging up on him right after that and sitting up crossing your arms.

automatically you thought he probably did fuck her if not why would they both lie? your train of thought was interrupted with a knock to your door. getting up to go get it you’re brought with presence of eren letting himself into your apartment. “bro ion got time for you right now get out.” automatically dismissing him staying by the door.

“baby just listen, you gotta believe me when I say I didn’t fuck her she’s just lying.” of course you wanted to believe him, but at the same time why should you if he won’t tell you where he was that day. “then where were you on Saturday?” and yet again you are met with hesitation. “see what we’re not finna do is keeping back in forth with this shit, if you cheated just say that you bottom feeding ass nigga instead of making me look stupid in front of everyone”

slapping both your hands on his chest and pushing him away, to which he grabbed you with not much strength needed, and pinned you against the door instead. “y/n don’t fucking play with me, cuz now you got me pissed off. since really wanna know, on Saturday I was being the best boyfriend I am and was getting reservations and decorations and all shits like that ready for your birthday this week which was supposed to be a surprise.”

holding both your arms in his hands and keeping you from moving. and to prove his point even more he pulled out his phone showing him in a grocery store buying birthday decorations saying “my baby birthday in a couple days and you knowwww I have to treat her right and give her everything she deserves all that luxuries and shit, baby if you see this, happy early birthday and I love youu give daddy a kiss when you see this.” ending the video with a wink and putting his phone down.

“yeah you look stupid don’t you, not believing in your man but believing some dumb hoe I told you countless times about.” looking at anything but him trying not to tear up from the embarrassment you felt right now for being angry and lashing at him for no reason when you should have just trusted him.

“o-okay eren I get it I’m sorry, I should have trusted you” looking up at him teary eyed while biting your lip. letting go of your arms and rubbing away the fallen tears from under your eyes and kissing your nose. “it’s okay baby, but you know I’m not gone accept that sorry ass apology so go lay that ass on that bed for me” he stated and simply tapping your ass and looking down at you. shocked by what he said and looking up at him pleadingly to have mercy on you. “eren I said I was sorry just let it go this once.” you knew you were about to get punished the most pleasurable way possible but you were still sore from last time and fat ma needed a break! “y/n don’t make me say it twice.”

“OH.MY.G-G-GODDDD!!” screaming on top of your lungs with every word being punctuated by the harsh backshots eren was giving you. clawing at your sheets using it as a way to get away from those relentless thrusts. “nahhhh bring that pussy rightt back!” eren used his free hand to ball up your tank top in his hand pulling on it towards him to bring you right back onto that dick. “don’t run from it mama, what did you say I was? a bottom feeder?” right after asking that question a harsh slap came down to your ask making you let out another scream.

bringing your right hand behind you to claw and push at his abs. “d-daddy I’m sorryyy~ i promise I’ll never question you again- AH FUCKKK~!! baby pleaseee” begging him to give you a break and making promises he knew you wouldn’t keep, that was just how you were, a back talking ass woman who stood her ground but it always ended up with you here. bringing his hand down between your legs to furiously rub at you clit causing your legs to spasm and your hand to grip his wrist. “youre sorry? you really believed her- you better arch that shit right back up- you believed that bitch and doubted me?

crying hysterically and cumming for the third time, babbling ‘sorries’ and ‘daddy please’s’ to which he ignored. instead he lifted one leg on the bed slamming balls deep into you causing you to let out a silent scream and violently shaking your legs. “now tell me who this dick belong to mama.” flipping you onto your back to see your face while staying inside and keeping his leg up. “I-I-I-it’s m-mineee~” you shakingly breathing heavily trying to stop your cries. “then start fucking act like it’s yours and yours only.” slapping your clit repeatedly then raising his hand to leave another slap but is stopped by your hands covering it and shaking your head repeatedly no crying even louder. eren being the tease that he is starts shaking his head yes at you and forcefully moves your hand away. “don’t try cover and take away while I rightfully own.” “you see this pussy, that clit, this ass, everything on you is mine just as much as mine is yours, so next time you try that shit again you’re gonna get something coming for you.”

rubbing your clit as quick as he can and hitting your g-spot repeatedly you grabbed onto his back leaving down scratch marks every time he hit those bundle of nerves. not a moment later you felt like you needed to pee. “d-daddy stop- I’m gonna make messss~” and already understanding what you meant he started jackhammering into your cunt till he felt you spraying up on his abs, your stomach and legs, and some even reaching his lips to which he greedily licked away. slowing his thrusts down after cumming inside you soon after you and holding you tightly rubbing your legs to soothe you. “you okay mama? I’m sorry I did so much but I had to teach you a lesson” kissing your cheek lovingly and accidentally brushing past your clit with his pelvis causing to squirt yet again! “o-o-o-oh f-f-fuck dadddy it’s hurtssss, it won’t stoppp~” automatically going down eren went to lick up at your pussy catching every bit of your juice he can to relieve your pleasurable pain.

finishing up and running a bath and taking care of you, slipping on a oversized t-shirt on you (his shirt you stole) and a pink thong, slipping your thick black glasses back onto your eyes and laying you next to him kissing on your shoulders. “you feel better baby?” he asked while rubbing your thighs to which you nodded your headed and slept soundly.

eren took that time to grab his phone and post a video of you in your current attire with you legs still slightly shaking and a hand print on your ass captioning “fuck all them rumors I’m reserved for one person and one person only, she know that too.” along side the the song “what you heard- Sonder/Brent faiyaz”

[lesinquietes]

Summary: You talk shit to the wrong person on a discussion forum. Idly, you troll one user who’s really into the Paranormal Liberation Front’s new leader, Tomura Shigaraki. You’ve heard he’s being heralded as the Villain of Villains, though you’re not sure that’s a valid title. You decide it’s time to make your opinion known. “Idk if I’d give him that title… lol he’s giving insecure incel.”

Mean!Yandere!Shigaraki x Bimbo!Reader

⚠️ mdni. degradation. incel. misogyny. noncon. oral. panic attacks. shigaraki is a mean dom. slut-shaming. yandere.

Next l

You snicker as you press enter. Admittedly, you don’t know enough about the white-haired criminal to make that judgement call. You’re basing your statement solely on appearance. What can you say? Making ignorant comments is the essence of shitposting. You get to act a fool online because no one will ever discover who you are.

Until the user you mouthed off to replies.

Crumbleking: the fuck do you know?

Crumbleking: and you think a guy like him wouldn’t get women? he has a fucking army you stupid bitch he can have anyone he wants. that’s not insecure.

You roll your eyes, noticing he didn’t address the incel comment.

(Your username): I literally do not give a fuck lol do you want him @ crumbleking? Seeing as you know so much about his personal life and all

Crumbleking: you should be thankful he hasn’t killed you yet

(Your username): I’m not hearing a no

Crumbleking: get fucked

(Your username): Apparently shig is doing enough of that for both of us lmao

Crumbleking: you’re asking for it

You block the user. How many times has some moron threatened you online? Too many. But you take solace in the fact that, just like you, everyone’s simply a keyboard warrior. At the end of the day, it’s not like any of this shit is serious.

Right? :)

Well, a few days after this incident, you login to your social media account and notice a message in your mailbox. You lift a brow. It’s probably a meme from your best friend. You’re surprised to find a notification next to Requests. Someone you aren’t friends with has messaged you.

Hastily, you tap the Requests tab. You don’t know why your heart is pounding, or why you have a horrid feeling about this. Perhaps you’re under too much stress lately, or perhaps your intuition is trying to tell you something — that you’re in danger.

The request is from someone named Shigaraki. You know it can’t be the real villain. You clue in that it’s likely that freak who was defending him on the forum. He must have determined who you are somehow and resorted to messaging you on your private social.

Shigaraki: hello you dumb slut

Shigaraki: remember me?

Yeah, it’s definitely him. You wonder what his goal is, what he wants from you; normal behaviour doesn’t include stalking. You debate on whether or not to reply. You could play dumb or own up to your role. Of course, it’s far easier to do the former.

You: no?

It’s simple and to-the-point. You see him typing back right away. You hold your breath when he stops. Then, the screenshots from the forum come, reminding you of the conversation.

Shigaraki: i know you’re (username).

You resort to the IP tracker on your laptop, figuring you’ll spook him and he’ll leave you alone. You power it up and click eagerly. When you’re halfway through locating him, it’s as though he’s read your mind.

Shigaraki: if you think I’m not using a vpn then you’re stupider than I thought

The panic really sets in now. You’re hyperventilating. The message shoots you into a panic attack — the kind when your throat constricts and your lungs heave stale air. You scratch at your chest and gasp. You feel like you’re dying. You can’t breathe. With quivering fingers, you type a nasty message to him.

You: what the fuck is wrong with you. why the hell do you care what i think this much???? please leave me alone. blocking you.

That’ll end this terror once and for all. Or will it?

Shigaraki: Don’t you fucking dare you whore

His response is nearly instantaneous.

Shigaraki: if you block me I’ll find you irl

Shigaraki: i just showed you how easy it was to find your social media profile

Shigaraki: i’ll fucking find you

Shigaraki: and we’ll see if you feel the same about me when we’re face to face

You can’t stand it. You press the block button and exit the app. You turn off your phone — as if that’ll help — and throw it onto your bed. You shut down your laptop place it gently atop your desk. That’s enough for tonight. You have to remind yourself that the person threatening you is just a persistent troll, that the Tomura Shigaraki would never waste his precious time bantering with a random person on the Internet. You get to bed using that precise logic.

Except you’re wrong.

A few weeks pass, and you make the foolish mistake of thinking you’re safe. You start to throw caution into the wind, glancing over your shoulder less and walking home from work at night. You don’t notice the pale man trailing you. He watches you at work, as you hustle under pressure, and at home, before you close the curtains. He’s seen you naked twice. He assumes you meant to show off your body to an audience, that you like a bit of exhibitionism. Well, he’ll keep that in mind when he extensively plots out your payback.

Finally, one evening, he strikes. You come home from work and close the door. Securing the locks, you don’t see him until it’s too late.

He wraps a hand around your neck, keeping his pinky lifted to prove a point. He could kill you if he wanted. He could turn you to dust and be done with this stupid shit. In truth, he doesn’t know why he let his anger overtake him to the point where he had to find you. The problem is, he can’t stop his pursuit. If you escaped him right now, he would find you again.

And again.

And again, until he’s able to teach you a fucking lesson.

“Thought you could get away from me, huh?” He rasps next to your ear. “I found your social media account. Didn’t think I’d find your address?” He cackles venomously. “Stupid whore.”

You know immediately who you’re being held captive by. It’s the guy you were talking shit to online. It also happens to be Tomura Shigaraki, in the flesh. You realize, at once, that your luck is positively atrocious. Like, honestly, how the fuck did this happen to you? You can’t make sense if the madness.

He drags his knuckles along your cheek, stroking it. You feel his index finger trace the outline of your lips. Instantly, your heart sinks. On cue, he hums.

“I bet these can suck dick better than they talk shit,” he remarks darkly. “Wanna find out?”

You don’t, but he does.

“Take off your jacket, or I’ll crumble it off with the first two layers of your pretty skin.”

He takes away his hand to allow you space. The way you understand it, if five of his fingers make contact with your body, you’ll begin to fall apart. You’ve seen footage of what he’s done to heroes who have defied him. It causes you to wonder why he’s chosen to torture you, of all people.

The answer lies in his discovery of your social media account. Before he saw what you look like, he was content to merely leave you a little scare. Then, he started diving into your life, going through each and every one of your photos. It turns out you’re quite the socialite. You with your friends. You with your family members. You with animals. Food. Music. Video games. With all these posts, he was granted a perfect snapshot of what it is you do. And now, he wants to watch everything you ever loved decay.

“Why the hell are you doing this?” You hiss, daring to make eye contact tact with your stalker. “Don’t you have better things to do, you fucking freak?”

You spit the last two words with as much vitriol as you can muster. He doesn’t miss the effort you pour into your distaste. He rewards you with a callous cackle.

“Aw, what’s wrong?” He cooes, scarred lips contorting into a smile. “We’re on a first name basis, aren’t we?”

You lick your lips. You can’t recollect if you referred to him by name. Everything is a rapid blur.

“Shig.” He prompts you. “You’re the first and only person that’ll call me that.”

Heat rushes to your cheeks. You didn’t consider it overstepping at the time because you didn’t think you were interacting with Shigaraki. You can see how it might have been construed as intimate in his eyes, given your casual use of the pseudonym. The least you can do is apologize. It won't save your ass, but perhaps it will urge him to go lighter on you.

"I-I'm sorry," you squeak. "T-to be fair, I—“

“To be fair, I should wrap my hand around your throat and watch you beg me for air as your whole body turns to dust.” He interrupts you venomously. “Take off your fucking jacket.”

You unzip the garment and throw it onto your sofa. Next comes your hat and scarf. You finish his request when you’re in only your sweater, pants, socks, and undergarments. He smirks at the result of your swift labour, drinking in your silhouette. He’s seen enough photos of you outdoors to know what lies beneath the rest. Thirst traps, you’d probably call them. Little did you know they’d be used against you one day.

He removes his phone from the back pocket of his jeans. With a languid thumb, he swipes it to life. He logs into his fake social media account and finds yours. It’s bookmarked as a favourite tab, of course, especially considering how many times he’s used your pics to jerk off. If you only knew how many nights his cock twitched, begging to be sheathed in your soft pussy, you’d probably be petrified.

He grins.

“What were you thinking, posting shit like this?”

He twists the screen around for you to see. It’s a photo of you and your bestie in bikinis. Your hair is wet from spending time in the ocean. You and your friend were vacationing at a beach, and you wanted to look your best. Beside her, your lips are coiled around a lollipop, cheeks hollowed out from sucking on it. A thirst trap? Absolutely. But not for him.

He stares at the image one more time before putting the phone away. His crimson orbs lock with yours. A smirk settles across his lips.

“Get on your knees.”

Your eyelids clamp shut. Wordlessly, you lower yourself to the ground. It feels utterly humiliating. You have no choice but to let him use you. There has to be a way out of this situation, but how? If you’re serious about surviving, you have to cook up an escape route.

Shigaraki nears your submissive form. He wishes he brought something to tie you up. You’d look gorgeous bound for him. Helpless and barely willing is how he likes his lovers.

He wasn’t lying when he told you he gets women. Since establishing the Paranormal Liberation Front, people have been throwing themselves at him. They’re attracted to his power. He doesn’t have an interest in any of them, though; there are better things to do, and more enticing partners to find. You fit the bill quite nicely.

He hovers over you, leering at you with his crotch mere centimetres from your face. His jeans smell like laundry detergent — you didn’t expect that. You guess he’s not as crusty as he seems, with his scraggly hair and raspy voice.

Suddenly, he grasps the back of your head with four fingers and pushes your face against his clothed erection. He grinds it along your cheek, twitching in his underwear, yearning to feel the warmth of your slutty mouth. Soon you’ll serve him, but not yet.

“Look what you do to me,” he groans, lulling his head back. “I’ve been waiting for you to fix this problem. Won’t kill you until I’ve had my fill.”

You shiver. You’ve got to get to fuck out of here. If you can distract him, you can jump out of the window and get help. It’s risky, but you don’t have much of a choice.

He releases you and moves to unzip his pants. Your breath hitches. You don’t want this to extend any longer than it has to — not if you can help it. Who knows when he’ll get bored and murder you? He’s unhinged. The time to act is now.

“Wait,” you mumble. “Sh-shirt.”

Shockingly, he lets up for a moment. You take the opportunity to gesture to the garment you’re wearing. It’s your work uniform. Nothing special. He doesn’t have to know that, though.

“Lemme take this off,” you insist. “P-please. I-I don’t wanna ruin in.”

If you remove your shirt, that’ll leave you in merely a bra and pants. Fortunately for you, Shigaraki isn’t a stupid man when it comes to his own satisfaction. He decides to offer you reprieve. Robotically, he steps back to give you space. He’s seen them from afar; he knows they’ll be impressive up close.

“Hurry up.”

He doesn’t anticipate you being a skillful little idiot.

You roll backwards and stumble to your feet. Bolting towards the window, you’re grateful that he didn’t make you strip completely. The hesitation of humiliation and shame might have prevented you from leaping out from the second floor. It’s with luck that you don’t break anything upon hitting the ground.

Shigaraki lunges for your hair a millisecond too late. He catches himself on the window frame. At the same time, you get to your feet and sprint. By the time he reaches the street, panting and growling with fury, you’ve disappeared; there’s not a trace of you left behind.

He suspects you’re off to alert a local hero or police officer. That’s fine. He doesn’t expect them to believe you, and even if they do, how will they protect you? He can feel his power accumulating; moreover, after the impending procedure that’s set to occur in the coming months, he’ll be unstoppable. He doesn’t mind killing those who get in his way.

Thus, with a heavy huff, he lets you go. You obviously want to play, and he’s a master gamer. He knows you want this just as much as he does. After all, didn’t you grasp that he was serious about finding you as many times as you manage to flee from him — that he’ll keep his pursuit steady until you no longer have the strength to run? You must want to be hunted, like pretty prey reserved only for the best.

You have no idea who you’re fucking with.

[yoitsjay]

I don't have a song to request but I had an idea, I really don't mind if the request is kept in the dark for however long, if you're not taking requests right now it's completely fine I just needed to ask (anxiety took over me and I have wanted to ask for quite a while now).

I'd like to ask for a Wrecker fic where the reader is bad with emotions and gets angered easily, like they lose their temper with little things, especially when overwhelmed (and/or when Crosshair is near) and Wrecker is their safe space. He might give them a hug and lend them Lula to comfort reader, I just know he gives the best hugs.

Thank you, you're an amazing writer ❤️.

Thank you so much! I made this into headcannons because I felt like it ♡

Anger Outlets

Pairings: Wrecker x gn! Reader

Summary: Crosshair pissed you off yet again, but Wreckers there to make it all better.

Warnings: crosshair being annoying, Wrecker comfort.

"God your so fucking infuriating!" You would shout, every single time Crosshair said something or did something so dumb, even if it was something small like moving or misplacing one of your personal items.

All of the bad batch knew that your shit? It was off. Limits.

But Crosshair loved to push those boundaries. And you started to wonder if he liked getting his ass kicked.

Crosshair had yet again moved your data pad, and you had found it almost falling into the Marauders toilet.

You went berserk. You ended up throwing your datapad point blank into Crosshair's head, cutting off his laughter as you knocked him out with ease.

Though your datapad was trashed upon impact.

Though despite that you were ready to kill the bastard, rather than just knocking him out.

Until Wrecker swept you up off your feet before you could start pummeling the bad batches prized sniper.

"Let me go you bitch!" You'd scream, kick, maybe even bite if his arms were close enough, though Wrecker held you at an arms length as you writhed around like a savage little beast.

It was kinda cute...

In a fucked up way.

When you had calmed down, at least somewhat. Wrecker carried you to your cot, and shoved his Lula doll into your arms.

Your eyes went wide. He never gave anyone his Lula doll, even for a few seconds.

"Seriously?" You asked, holding the doll close to your chest as Wrecker held you from behind, his firm grip on you relaxing.

"Yes really." Wrecker confirmed, resting his chin on the top of your head.

"You need the comfort." He added, and you couldn't stop the smile from growing on your lips.

You relaxed, and almost forgot about the shit Crosshair pulled-

Almost.

Though Wrecker was there to make sure you didn't cripple their sniper. That was for the future, not the present.

➺

Wrecker tag:

Tbb:

@only-my-unexistent-fiances

All:

@moomoog017

[nagitoshopejar]

A show of the ages

Summary: Velvettes show has gone wrong and her adopted dad decided to help calm her down

THIS IS A PLATONIC PAIRING

“Fuck off Vox!” The youngest of the vees was throwing her usual tantrum when one of her shows wasn't going to plan, or at least the preparations before it. There was a problem. Velvette’s models were not to be seen. “Vox go find them!” 

“Velvette dear, you know what chasing bitches does for our reputation.” The TV inquired, “we have a reputation to keep. Find someone else. There's more demons here my love.” 

Velve, looking as if she was about to tear up, who knows if she was gonna cry at all, it wasn't typical of her to be teary eyed but through all the stress of the show it wouldn't be too crazy. She always manages to save her show whether that means making someone fix it or doing it herself. Right now it seems like she doesn't have a way for the show to go on. Her normally clean dressing room had clothes and props scattered about the floor in Pink haired demons onslaught and fit of rage.

“Listen my dear, I’m sure we can find someone. Perhaps we should tell your fans the truth. We could put out a contest to see who would be a new model, our ratings may go up.”

“Shut up Vox! Is everything about ratings and stuff to you?” The youngest, face turning red just as much as her hair started sputtering insults, “Help me for real or I’ll unplug your moth attracting life support you old ass ornery bitch!” Velvette while her tone was getting louder had Vox trying to calm her down.

“Velvette, calm down please we will find a way.” Vox was unsettlingly calm with his usual trademark grin plastered anywhere there was marketing.

“Vox I swear to god you are no help to you and your big dumb stupid tv head like you're supposed to be modern tech and you're old but no smarts and you're not wise. It's any wonder why anyone would even trust in our brands with a face not matching a personality or smarts like yours!” Velvette was going on about this forever even closing her eyes tight to make it seem as if she was serious.

“The time spent yelling and insulting me could be spent solving this little conundrum of yours, Velvy.” Velvette hated it when he called her by that name. Yea they had the father daughter bond of a blood family but that doesn't mean he could just call her by that name whenever he wants to.

“Don't call me that you fuckwad.” she muttered loudly enough for Vox to hear while giving him a death glare of the century. “If you're not going to help then you need to leave.”

“But Velve my dear I am. I heard your loud noises and thrashing and now… your mess on the floor. I am here to help you so just work with me here.” Velve huffed still eyes locked on the older of the two not moving an inch from her spot.

“Vox, leave. Now. NOW.” 

“Now, is that any way to speak to your dad, young lady?” Vox cocked an eyebrow with an ear to ear grin.

This set Velve off on a tangent, “you, of all people are not my dad. You couldnt even care for a fucking cat, a goldfish if you wanted to, what makes you think you take care of me? You’re old, ugly, not good for nothing piece of shit just some side piece of A-” in her incessant rambling you could see Vox with a sinister, almost mischief grin, he had a plan and was gonna put it to good use. Velve in her onslaught of insults stops mid sentence and simply drops to the ground in giggles.

“Vohohoox what are yohoho doingggg?” she whines trying to suppress her giggles like a river to a beaver dam.

“You are not behaving. Clearly I can't ground you but I can tickle you.” He walked up nice and close to her face to just mention what was happening, “you don't know this but I have little electric bolts that I can use to humble someone with mere giggly antics. You could call it a tickle ray, and we could sell it!” Vox was not excited about his new VoxTech idea but first he had to deal with the little lady who thinks she can disrespect her dad. “Shall I crank it up a notch?” 

“VohoHOHOX” of course she couldn't be belittled to begging so she just yelled at the modern man not that she did want it stop “NOHOHOHOHO OHO MY GOHOHOD!” her now ball of giggles was simply melted into a puddle of giggles as Vox kneeled down beside her.

“Maybe this will make you think twice before insulting me.. Velvy.” he snickered, dragging his pointy claw down from the forearm to the hollows to spider along Velves pit.

“NOHOHOT THEHERE PLEASE IM BEHEHGGING YOUHUHU.” 

“Awww is the little Velvy ticklish? Just a wittle sensitive? But y'know, if you don't want here I could always move to another spot.” Vox slowly trailed his finger down to her hips with her trying to squirm away from his tickly claw. Note that he's working with one hand, the rest is his tickle ray. Velve was clawing, grabbing at his hand but wasn't pushing it away.

“SHUHUHUT UHUHUP- AGH!” The little lady was surprised by the sudden squeeze on her most ticklish area. “NOHOHOT THEHEHEHERE EITHERRR AHAHAHAH VOOHOHOHOHO PLEEHE!” She couldn't create full sentences quite at the moment as the TV head started using both his hands to squeeze her hips.

“You know, I haven't heard you ask me to stop or made any real effort to stop me.”

Velve was blushing like a maniac, her face red and hot from the embarrassment and laughing so much. “SHUHUT UP OHOLD MAHAN!” She was thrashing all over knowing full well she did enjoy it.

“But if you want me to stop all you have to do is apologise for insulting me.”

Through her laughter she spit out sentences mangled with words that sounded like she would never apologise even if part of it was her liking this attention and bond with her adopted dad you would never catch THE Velvette apologising. “VOHO- NOHOH- NEVEHRHRR PLEEAHAHHAHA.”

“Well then, I guess I have to keep going.” The taller figure liked the bonding like this as well. They both needed a let loose kind of activity to bond to and this was just it. Vox was enjoying tickling her just as much as Velvette was enjoying receiving it. Her smile was a genuine one, not one of forced due to the scene going on in front of them.

Eventually in the screaming laughter of the overlords Vox relented when it seemed as if she had enough and calmed down.

The TV smiling down at her, offered her a hand to help her up. Velvette, who was all giggly still from the ghost tickles, took the offer trying to stand. “By the way, the electricity might last a few extra minutes.” Vox mentioned with one last smirk on his face. “Now then my dear, why don't I be the model. I will even let you put make-up on me and dress me in pretty clothes if it makes you happy.” 

Velve with an honest and gently happy look for the first time, then had a look of astonishment, “really? Why didn't you mention that you old rag before doing that?” 

And with a soft demeanour Vox had replied looking at the littler one with much content, “you look like you could've used it you were too tense. You need to remember our reputation. I can't have you running around making us look like we lost control.” 

That night Vox put on his best performance in a dress to make his daughter a happy one.

[dingochef]

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x You (OFC)

Warnings: Swearing, Smut (MDNI 18+ Only), Angst with a Happy Ending, Stalking, P in V, oral (female and male receiving), Semi-public sex, light spanking,

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary:

Another day, another stupid man to deal with. You run into a familiar face when you go to meet up with the face and person that's been on your mind all day.

Masterlist

Chapter 4

Chapter 5: Nancy Drew and the Instagram Account

You start your Sunday early to beat the sun and the heat. Your cycling group is meeting up on the San Diego waterfront just as the sun rises. The day is clear and just a bit crisp. You revel in the chill now as it will heat up soon, especially with the hilly route on deck for today. The ride starts easily with the Bay Shore Bikeway up to La Jolla then it heats up with a trip to the top of Mount Soledad, the ride down is fast enough that you can feel the moisture in your eyes being wicked away by the arid dry air. The rest of the course skirts around the eastern edges and suburbs of San Diego. After a few stops for water and some snacks to keep you energized, the ride winds down at about 2 pm where you started. You start packing away some of your gear and sit to change your shoes to get on the ferry. As you're tying the laces on your shoes, a shadow looms over you.

“Elsa, how’s it going?”

Bill asks. Of course it’s Bill, he does this every time the group meets.

“I was wondering if you’d like to get dinner with me tonight, like a date?”

Bill is nice, but he’s also a good 20 years older than you and more like your father than is comfortable in the dating scene.

“Sorry Bill, answer’s still the same, no. Besides I have plans tonight,” the thought of Jake brings an unconscious smile to your lips.

“Come on, Elsa, you’ve got to give in sometime, I’m just trying to be a nice guy. It’s just one date, I’ll cook you dinner at my house, a little wine, it’ll be a nice night. You gotta say yes.”

You sigh, knowing that what is going to come out your mouth next is going to make the next meet up the group awkward as fuck, but you can deal with akward.

“Bill, how many times have you asked me out?”

He shrugs,

“A lot, I guess.”

“And I always say no. What makes you keep asking when you get the same answer? That’s the literal definition of insanity.”

“I figure persistence pays off and besides I’m a nice guy, give me a chance.”

“Bill, the answer today, tomorrow, and every time in the future is going to be no. N. O. I don’t want to date some overbearing guy who has no respect for what I say and what boundaries I draw. Being a “nice guy” doesn’t entitle you to a date.”

By this time others in the cycling group are starting to notice the exchange. Millie, who is a retired Navy Captain, steps over to see what’s going on.

“Jeez, Elsa, you don’t have to be such a bitch about it.”

“Bill, if you think this is me being a bitch, buckle up buttercup, you haven’t seen anything yet. I can’t help that your sense of language comprehension and pattern recognition is that of a four-year old, you sad old man. No means no. We’re done here.”

You start to walk your bike towards the ferry terminal and Millie runs over to catch up.

“You okay?” she asks, giving you a side hug.

“Yeah, just tired of dealing with Bill’s bullshit week after week. I just want to come ride and hang out with friends. Not ward off old dudes trying to get into my pants.”

“We’ll take care of it, Bill’s out of the group, easy peasy,”

Millie says. Millie is one of the founding members of the cycling group and part of a kick-ass group of older retired military women who deal with exactly zero shit from anyone.

“Thanks, Millie, I appreciate that. I gave him so many outs, but he kept coming back into the danger zone.”

She shrugs,

“Some people are just dumb. You did good back there. Do you need anyone to see you home in case he gets weird about it?”

“No, keep him occupied for about 15 minutes while I get on the ferry and I’ll be good.”

You give Millie a hug and wave goodbye as you get on your bike to ride the last little distance to the ferry. When you get home you jump into the shower to rinse all of the day’s gross parts off, real and metaphorical.

As you're getting out of the shower you hear your phone ding:

Lydia: So you and Hangman, becoming a thing? A baseball game (glad you found a dork that likes baseball) and dinner at what I know is your favorite restaurant (the tapas place in the Gaslamp Quarter.) It's like you’re putting your best moves on him.

You: I'm not putting my moves on him, you and I both know I have exactly zero moves. He offered up the baseball game as amends for being a jackass the other night at the bar. I was hungry after the game so I invited him along.

Lydia: Liar. Liar. Pants on fire! 🔥 You asked him on the dinner date. I pressed him for the deets when he mentioned going to the Padres game that I saw on your Instagram. And he crumbled like a lovesick fool. Between asking for your number and him coming back practically skipping and whistling I figured it out.

You: Alright, Nancy Drew, Girl Detective you got it right. It was Colonel Mustard in the library with a wrench.

Lydia: What are you even talking about?

You: How have you never played a game of Clue?

You: Nevermind.

Lydia: So…..how was he in the sack? These Navy guys are fucking built.

You: We only made it to my porch.

Lydia: Ooh, outdoor sex. Adventurous.

You: Not that! We just had some really nice kissing that ventured into a bit of heavy petting. And then I said good night.

Lydia: Right. And you have plans with him tonight. You like like him!

You: How did you know about that?

Lydia: The walls here are hilariously thin. You can hear everything that happens here.

You: So Jake mentioned. How was that mustache ride?

Lydia: De-fucking-lightful. 10/10 would highly recommend.

You: I'll remember that yelp review when I'm in search of a mustache ride which will be…..never. Seriously, what's up with the stache? Did he lose a bet?

Lydia: Didn't come (heh heh) up in conversation.

You: You are the worst. Talk to you later, remember to keep hydrated with all the sexing you’re doing.

Lydia: Smooches & Byeeee!

You shake your head at the conversation you just had with Lydia. Before you put your phone down you text Jake to set up the now infamous drink date tonight.

You: So, we still on for drinks tonight? How does 7 at the Hard Deck sound?

You don’t expect a reply right away and put your phone on the charger and head over to the couch with a giant jug of water and make plans to watch some TV and chill for the rest of the afternoon. Somewhere, around an hour later when you've already watched two documentaries on WWII aircraft your phone dings. In what can be described as an all out sprint you rush to your phone.

Jake: That sounds like a date. See you there. Maybe this time I'll get to buy you more than one drink, (my turn.)

You: See you then.

It's about 4 pm now, which gives you enough time to whip up a nice curry for dinner and still have time to gussy up for your date. This is actually date date.

Getting ready to go out has become more of a challenge than you anticipated. You've pulled out every dress you own and rejected each one twice. You're looking for that "Oh just drinks, you just threw on whatever to come here." Your goal is effortless grace, not "I totally overthinked every aspect of my appearance and maybe had a slight panic attack." In frustration you call Lydia, breathlessly shouting out as soon as she answers,

"You actually have fashion sense, what should I wear?"

The cackle comes out of the phone speaker first and then her reply,

"Just drinks, riiight. You’re actually trying to impress him aren't you? This is adorable, Elsa has found someone to melt her frozen heart or other parts."

She snorts at her own terrible joke and you can practically hear her eyebrows rising up and down on her forehead.

"Don't overthink it like you usually do. Wear the magenta dress with the nice flowy skirt. It'll be easy to get off later."

There's a muffled male voice in the background saying something like "Come back to bed, baby."

"Are you still at Rooster's? How are you not chafed or unable to walk?"

"No, we actually ventured out for some beach time and came back to mine, a whole lot more privacy. By the way, I might have heard a certain someone moaning another person's name last night when he presumably was taking care of his blue balls courtesy of you. Well, have fun, do something I would do, Byeeee!"

You, for some reason, follow Lydia's advice and wear the suggested dress. Wearing a bra with this dress is impossible due to the plunging back. Lydia knew exactly what she was doing when she suggested this particular dress. Scanning your underwear drawer you spot a pair of black lace boy shorts that you know make your ass look really good. After setting a light curl into your dark brown, almost black hair, you leave it down to cascade down your shoulders and back. Minimal make-up, you're always going for the natural look, but for some reason you pick a darker magenta shade of lipstick that complements the dress. You grab a light sweater and your purse and you're out the door. The walk over to the Hard Deck is nice and cool and calming. The butterflies in your stomach start to flutter as you approach the door and it hits you that you actually want to impress him tonight. It's an exhilarating and terrifying concept at the same time, what are you getting yourself into?

You don't really have time to delve into your brain after that idea as I've arrived at the Hard Deck. You push open the door and pull your sweater off. Despite it being a Sunday night the place is pleasantly buzzing with a steady hum of voices and glasses clinking together and onto tabletops around the bar. You scan the crowd and don't spot Jake anywhere so you make your way up to the bar. At the bar there's is a familiar bomber jacket and black head of hair.

"As I live and breathe, it's Maverick. And in one piece,"

You say as you sit on the open bar stool next to him. He's halfway through a swig of beer when he turns and makes the connection that it’s you sitting next to him.

"Elsa! What brings you to this place?"

"Meeting a friend for a drink."

Penny comes over and asks,

"The usual?"

You nod yes. Maverick says,

“Put that on my tab, I owe this gal a drink for stepping in as my temporary guardian angel."

Penny looks a bit confused at the statement but shrugs and goes to make your drink.

"I should be asking you the same thing, what brings you down to North Island? I thought you were just going to carry on at the Skunk Works."

He takes a swig of his beer and shrugs, "The usual pissed off an Admiral. They weren't overly impressed with me breaking "the project" apart." He uses air quotes to reference the Darkstar hypersonic stealth jet you were both working on and he was serving as the test pilot.

"I'm teaching at Top Gun for a few weeks. While the Navy decides your fate for me."

He leans over to whisper,

"Thank you for saving my life, there's no other reason I'm alive other than your life pod."

"How did it perform?" you ask quietly.

"Like riding a mattress down and landing on a marshmallow, so perfectly. Next time can you get it to drop me off near civilization rather in the middle of an orange grove near Fresno?"

You laugh,

"Jeez, so needy, not only do I save your life and give you a gentle ride back to earth, you want door to door service. I'll see what I can do."

You glance over to the door to see Jake coming through the door; he instantly scans the crowd and locks in on you. You catch his eyes and then turn back to Maverick and say,

"I'd love to get together to pick your brain on other impressions on "the project". Thanks for the drink. I’m glad you’re alive."

You lean in to hug Maverick.

Your drink has appeared on the bar and by the time Jake has jostled his way through the crowd to the bar you can see that the expression on his face has turned from that panty dropper smile to confusion and a bit of jealousy.

He swaggers up to the bar and gives you a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Both Maverick and Jake are looking at each other confused and startled.

"Hey, Captain, didn't think you'd be back here after the other night." Jake says with that patented smirk.

Maverick winks and says,

"I like the company and the scenery."

He nods his head towards Penny. You cock your head with a questioning look. Maverick sheepishly replies,

"We have a complicated…history.".

Jake asks, his signature smirk in full force,

"How do you know Elsa or are you hitting on women who are half your age and out of your league, now?"

Chapter 6

@mayhemmanaged

@callmemana

@dempy

@hangmanscoming

@lanie-k

@callsign-viper

@senjoritanana

[spoiledleaff]

ashton. leafy. leafthaniel. love.

i have been… some would say haunted, some would say blessed, by visions of subby puppy rain

hmm i wonder whose fault that is uwu <3

and i was hoping that maybe you could make something happen involving that? i’m craving some needy puppy rain being put in their place by swiss and mountain…. if that tickles your taint fancy at all, haha !! :3

💙💍.

ahhh, thank you so much for indulging me with this, felix! :'D i'm just sorry it's taken me so long to muster up these spoons! but also thank you very much for letting me talk your ear off about my switch rain thoughts >:D

alrighty! everyone knows the drill by now, haha! but, regardless, it gets filthy below the cut! >:Dc

(cw for mentions of piss kink and breeding! )

"Please-" Rain whimpers, dropping their head against Mountain's outer thigh as they begin to loose themselves in how the empty boot between their thighs creates such glorious friction against the dampness of their pussy.

The two beasts before them were kind enough to rip every article of clothing from their unworthy body, even being so kind as to throw one of their discarded boots at Rain's bobbing cock. They think it was Swiss; the memory of sharp and dangerous teeth suddenly being brought to the forefront of Rain's melting brain. He barely missed the raw ache of their erection, but made no effort to apologize for nearly smacking Rain's erection back into their vessel with their own goddamn boot.

(But since when did a deity apologize to an ant?)

Rain whimpers again, their hips stuttering over the slick, shiny surface of their own ruined boot. Their arms are tied tight behind their back, and the ring of their embarrassing little dog tag keeps echoing in their sensitive ears.

(It's custom engraved. Mist had it practically tailored for them. The engraving reads 'DUMB MUTT'.)

"Shut up." Mountain rumbles, the sheer bass of his voice causing shivers to rupture over Rain's naked spine. "This is what you get for being such an insufferable little bitch."

Rain's eyes flicker up to take in the sight of Mountain: still fully dressed expect for his pants unlaced and open, his cock barely leaking any precum as Mountain lazily strokes his impressive shaft. It's mortifying almost. The fact that here Rain is, naked and exposed and rutting their own pussy against the toe of their own boot while their cock stood flush against their stomach.

And Mountain isn't even fully hard-

"For real," Swiss chimes in, his fingers tangled in Rain's tousled locks of hair, pulling tight. "Who the fuck tries to make Dewdrop play his guitar while fucking that cunt six ways to fuckin' Sunday, huh? Fucking foozler you are. Breeding that sweet little flame, and expecting him to still be able to think? Awfully rude'a you, doll."

Rain tries to say something around the massive dick shoved deep in their throat, but they don't know if they're either too overwhelmed or too fucking stupid to word anything.

"You always think you're such hot shit." Mountain chimes in with a growl, reaching over and lacing his own calloused fingers in the strands of tangled hair that Swiss hasn't already snatched.

They exchange grips, and Mountain yanks Rain's head off of Swiss' cock before dragging the little water slut towards Mountain's burgeoning erection. The force of Mountain and Swiss' exchange causes Rain's hips to buck harshly against the boot below them, their hard cock rubbing over the laces of their boot. Rain's mouth falls open in a cry, and Mountain uses the opportunity to shove his cock past Rain's docile fangs.

"You just need someone to put you in your pathetic fucking place, huh?" Mountain huffs with a dangerous smirk, his claws digging hard into Rain's skull. He pulls his cock out of Rain's mouth, slapping them with the ruddy head before quickly shoving himself back inside.

Rain cries out in surprise at the rough treatment, though they can't stop the way their cock is leaking, or the way their pussy's fucking gushing, or even the way their hips are still fucking humping over their own goddamn boot.

"Dumb fuckin' dog." Swiss laughs, and Rain can see the way his thumb swipes over the head of his cock, smearing the precum accumulating at the slit.

"Our stupid little knot slut." Mountain agrees with a roll of his hips. Rain exaggerates a wet gagging noise for their pleasure, though the gills lining their vessel ensures they can still breathe.

"Gonna keep that hot little pussy stretched tight over our knots, yeah?"

"Attach a leash, maybe. Pass it between the two of us and choke you on your own submission."

"Breed you like the little bitch you are."

(Mountain practically shoves Rain off of his dick, and Swiss is quick to yank Rain's head back towards his own bobbing erection, shoving his full length down Rain's open throat.)

"Choke you on our cocks until you learn your place is on your knees in front of us."

"Mark you up like the hellbeasts the Clergy expects us to be, yeah, doll?"

"Bite you all over until you bleed like a gutted dog."

"Ohoho, sweet little dirty boy," Swiss moans, dropping his grip on Rain's tangled locks in favor of using their horns as leverage, forcibly dragging Rain's mouth up and down the full length of his shaft, "why stop at just our teeth? We'll drain our little puppy slut of almost all his blood, leave them so lightheaded they won't know what's being fucked into them."

Mountain groans as his fist visibly tightens around his own cock.

"Could be cum," Swiss grins, feral and bright despite the low lighting of the room, "could be piss."

"You'd never be left empty, water lily, that's for fucking sure." Mountain agrees, and Rain can vaguely hear the rapid slapping of the earth ghoul's tail against the legs of the chair he's lounging in.

"Breed you with every fucking fluid we could possibly stuff into your stupid little puppy holes."

Rain gasps, shudders as their hips speed up over the toe of their boot, purposefully angling themselves forward to drag their sensitive cock over the lacings. The boot beneath them is fucking ruined-

And Swiss knows.

"You really are just a fucking mutt, lookit the mess you're making, dollface." Swiss yanks Rain's head off his cock once more, forcing Rain to look down at the poor boot sandwiched painfully between their thighs. "Might make you clean that boot off with that filthy fucking tongue of yours. It'd be bad manners to give it back to our lovely Siblings stained with your worthless cum, yeah?"

Mountain snorts, though it almost sounds like a guttural moan with the way he's still furiously jerking his cock.

"Clean every fucking inch of your boot from our cum and piss. Make you lap it up like it's doggy chow-" Swiss leans his head back and laughs loudly, like he just told the funniest fucking joke of the century.

"Suck on the laces like it's Mommy's nipple," Mountain gasps, and Rain thinks he might be getting close, "lick the tongue with yours."

"On second thought," Swiss pauses, shaking Rain's head with the grip he has on their horns for no fucking reason, "maybe we'll just make you clean everything up with your head, mutt. Wouldn't want you to make everything dirtier with that filthy fucking tongue."

Rain sobs as Swiss hands their head over to Mountain, and, this time, he shoves the full weight of that massive fucking dick down Rain's speared open throat.

"There's a good puppy."

[ibims1seb]

A Life’s Gamble

The Sypher Trilogy

Tw: knife in the form of a playing card, beating, kidnapping, torture, blood, threatening to harm a loved one, kidnapping again but in a lot less serious way, a little bit of sadism,

Here is the Infopost for Tye Sypher Trilogy and Here you will get to the Masterlist :)

Chapter 0 || Prev || Next

Chapter 2

“I’m gonna ask this one last time, Silat, and you better answer me before I get bored and just decide that Cara will give me better answers.” The bastard had something of Azriel’s… Again. And the assassin has been letting him get away for a little too long for comfort.

The knife, looking like a playing card, with its sharp edges and the pattern of a 7 of Diamonds drawn on it delicately, moved between his fingers effortlessly, only stopping when the poor man he’s been tormenting for the last hour or so stirred. God, the guy looked pathetic. Even more so than last time.

“I-…” right, he had slit his throat a bit… not enough to kill him, but enough to make talking just that much more painful. He would feel bad if it wasn’t so damn satisfying to hear the fool scream.

“You?” The blond asked dryly. If this little shit said some nonsense like ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ or ‘I don’t have it’, he was gonna-

“I-I’ll… never…” immediately, a kick to the groin shut him the fuck up. He didn’t want the guy to talk unless it was gonna be something useful, and that didn’t sound like something useful.

“You really are a dumb bitch, huh? No wonder your boss dropped you off at my doorstep.” The sociopath grinned like a shark smelling a victim’s blood in the water. Did Silat know he was lying? Did the brunette know that it was him who sneaked into his house and sedated him? The slight flinch and the way he tried to turn away from his captor said that, no, he didn’t know what really happened. Tried, he couldn’t really move much…

“F-fuck… ya-…” Huh. Even while being tortured, the man couldn’t drop his stupid accent. Fucking dumb bitch.

“I’m getting what I want, no matter how stubborn you are. And if I don’t get it soon, I’m gonna drag your fiancé down here as well, see how that motivates you, dipshit.” Another kick followed, as well as a gurgling sound and some coughs, blood staining the already bloodied floor a new kind of crimson.

Azriel knew very well how much the threat of getting his beloved soon to be wife into this terrified the man, obvious by the way he flinched back even harder and looked up at him with dull, teary, almost pleading eyes. He loved those eyes. He fucking hated the man, but he loved those eyes.

“Oh, you don’t want that, do y-“ he got interrupted by the rude fucking person who used his doorbell, the annoying sound of ring ring ring echoing through the concrete walls of the lowest part of his house. “Fuckin’ great..” groaning, he glanced back at Silat, who seemed stupidly hopeful that he could scream his way out of this.

The shark grin reappeared, wider, as his captive’s eyes widened, the ball gag and scarf dangling before his face strangling any hope of escape. Again, he loved the terrified look in his eyes.

It took a few seconds of forcing the gag into the struggling bastard’s mouth, before he could tie the cloth around the lower parts of his face to make sure no noice could be loud enough to reach the person still ringing the fucking doorbell.

When Azriel was completely done, he gave Silat one last kick, a warning and not as hard as the first few, before walking up the stairs, locking the door behind himself and pushing the bookshelf in front of it. It was mainly to make sure no one would find out he even had a basement. There were no windows in his downstairs bedroom, so no one could watch him do this, too. Precautions, he said to himself. Definitely not paranoia.

“Hey! I’m coming! Calm the fuck down!” He screamed while taking his handgun and hiding it under his baggy, green shirt. Again, precautions, not paranoia!

“Now, just who do you-…”

Well, imagine the assassin’s surprise when he saw a… man… in front of his door. He had thought it was one of his neighbours who wanted something, or had something to rant about, but no. It was a… man. Tall, lean, muscular, definitely from the military. His black hair was cut very short and the only kind of clothing style the guy seemed to have was ‘uniform’. But it wasn’t the normal military stuff, those really were just normal clothes made to look like a uniform. Was he getting pranked by that bratty kid from down the street? No, that couldn’t be. He didn’t have a lot of friends and the dad was an obese office worker who liked letting his dog take a shit wherever the mutt pleased. Well, used to, Azriel took care of it…

“Can I… help you..?” He asked, slowly, unsure of what the hell was happening. It definitely wasn’t that he was uncomfortable with the situation, it just seemed… surreal.

“Mr Sypher? My name is Jonathan Star, I am from the International Safety Association, specifically the Branche from the United Kingdom, may I come inside.” That… that didn’t sound like a question. It was a statement that this man… Star… would come in. It was so he sounded polite, but there was no real need for an answer. Well, it’s not like that would stop Azriel from answering anyway!

“No.” He said, still confused, but his tone has gone a little bit more dry. More.. weary and irritated. International Safety Association. ISA. Anti terrorism and organised crime. Anti literally what he does for a living. Great.

Without giving ‘Jonathan’ even a second, he slammed the door shut right on his face, grinning to himself when the last look he saw on the rando’s face was irritation and shock. Delicious, in other words.

He was just about to push the bookshelf from the basement door when it came again. That stupid Ring Ring Ring sounding through the house. He had half a mind to just cut the electrical wiring and forget this happened, but the guy, who Azriel was sure this was, would probably just storm his house.

The next time he opened the door, there were four people, one being this Jonathan Star bastard, and the other three being fully geared up Soldiers with assault rifles trained on his legs, shoulder and… okay, the third guy didn’t seem to know what he was doing. Even better.

“I already said-“

“Azriel Sypher, or Zero? You are to come with us, struggle against this or make a scene, and we will use force. Please, put your hands up and slowly step out of the building.” The voice was calm. Too calm, what the hell was happening- wait-

“How the fuck- no, you can’t take me! You have no reason to-“ he argued, well, tried arguing, but that was hard when he was held at gun point and got metaphorically slapped in the face by the fact that this wannabe commanding officer knew his callsign.

“You are a wanted criminal, Zero. I can very well do this, and I will. Now Put. Your. Hands. Up.” Jonathan hissed through gritted teeth, taking a menacing step forward. However, even through all of this, he still seemed rather.. emotionless. Cold, for a lack of better words.

“I won’t- ugh, Hey!” He wanted to protest, but before he could continue his temper tantrum, Star rolled his eyes and simply grabbed him by the shirt, dragging him out of the threshold and shoving him towards one of his dogs, who grabbed Azriel not so gently and cuffed his wrists behind his back. Great! Just Great! This is-! Ugh, Great!

Only when he was pushed into the back of the Van, followed by two Soldiers and Star, did Sypher find his words again. Well, no, he had his words the entire time, but preferred to use them by throwing every insult and bad word he knew at his captors.

“Good, now let’s talk.” One of the Soldiers, a bit short but still definitely a good Soldier, removed her mask when Star, obviously the leader, said that. The man sat across from him and the unmasked woman took a place a few feet away from Azriel on the same side of the Van.

“As I said, my name is Jonathan ‘Nova’ Star, I am a Colonel in the New Zealand Army and the ISA. I am also the highest commanding officer in a Special Operations Task Force called The Crimson Spades. And as much as it pains me to say this, we need your help.”

Azriel choked on the air he was trying to inhale, finally looking up at the man and making eye contact. Okay, never mind, this was a dream. He was definitely dreaming, this is-

“We know that you have once worked with a man called ‘Malvik’, and we would like your expertise and knowledge about anything and everything regarding him. In return you will not be put before trail, for as long as you work with the Spades. As a Spade’s Soldier.”

The assassin had to admit, the guy was good at talking and explaining. That did absolutely nothing to stop him from almost vomiting at that name. Oh yes, he had experience with that guy, but-

“No. No, no, no! Not Malvik! I will help you with anything, but *not* Malvik! No! That-.. no!” He growled, earning an angry look from the woman next to him, as well as a slightly annoyed glance from Star. He had to admit, getting a wild card as a wanted criminal was something he’d take any time, even if h wouldn’t admit that, he did want to change, but not with that fuck! Not with Malvik.

“I… understand, partially. We will talk about this some more when we are at the base. Please, get comfortable, this is gonna be a long ride.” Azriel was almost content with that, until he remembered that he was basically kidnapped, stuffed into a Van, had no idea where they were going and…

Wait, he still had a captive in his basement… and he left the lights in the hallway on! Damn it! Nobody gave a shit about Silat, but his precious electrical bill!

—————

Thank you for reading. As I said, I’m in a very good mood for writing right now, even though that is a tiny bit declining. Still, here I have another treat for those who care to have it ;)

Please, if you want, also check out my Masterlist

[itsdappleagain]

tis time for the need for speed caper!

notes under the cut as always

if you saw my boston tea party caper post you will already know that this is not my favorite episode. potentially one of my least favorites in the season. still has some fantastic moments though, and I'm excited anyway!

cool foreshadowing for next ep with neal. bellum likes him

THE WAY BRUNT'S FACE LIGHTS UP WHEN MECH WALKS IN

these bitches really ARE gay

THE SIGHS AND FORCED POLITE GREETINGS ARE SO FUCKING FUNNY

i love how snarly they animate mech's face. her lip is curled or her nose is wrinkled

poor mechanic. so british it hurts a little bit

a choice of playdates 😭

cs: you can work remotely from my latop! the season being released in 2019: 👁️👄👁️

god why do they always make carmen's hottest and most showstopping outfits only get like a minute of screentime

the complete 180 from barfing at fish to proclaiming his love for a vile operative. fantastic

also mmmmmmmmmmmmmm the driver is a fantastic character. she's set up just enough w/ the green outfit and the mechanic letting us know that there's an operative already in dubai. plus she's milking trey without anyone suspecting a thing. she's so cool. imagine having to play dumb about your specialty for this arrogant little white boy

anyway trey sterlings little earrings

bonus points for how the driver only smiles when trey is looking at her

im a duke and ivy's a rocket scientist wheeze

god that cape on carmen is everything

who voices sterling sterling

okay 1. daddy sterling 2. ITS MR GROUPER FROM BUBBLE GUPPIES JIDSHH. he's been in a ton of shit. soggy joe from amphibia, benzo in arcane, phineas and ferb and a lot of stuff as the amazing hulk. i wonder why they had him do the role GOOD LORD THIS GUY HAS BEEN IN A LOT OF STUFF

so has trey's va

and then the driver throws herself on trey as soon as she confirms that he's the one driving its so good

love how trey uses the wrong names just to be a dick

not entirely sure why zack and ivy went to the party at all when they could have just gone with carmen but whatever

ah, the part of the episode which makes me hate it. zack acting like a homicidal toddler

carmen and the fastest change of clothes in the world

i love how ivy is just glaring at him the whole time

my favorite part about cs being a kid's show is that when characters get arrested the cops just stand there really menacingly because they can't point guns at anyone who isn't dexter wolfe

i love the next few episodes of player and shadowsan bonding/gaining trust with each other tho

i love when carmen gets pissed off about stuff

i also like seeing how on edge she is- flattening herself against the wall on the roof when a car goes by and stuff because she's trying to figure out how she's going to get them out of jail

i love her

HAHA okay i do love to see carmen yell at them because its SO emotive and GOOD but also IVY DID NOTHING WRONG SHE GETS THE SHORT END OF THE STICK

what was possibly worth risking your necks and mine and giving VILE a chance to win RNGRH its such a good line to show carmen's mentality. we see it in stockholm a little too with how she would almost literally rather die than let VILE win

how do they get home

mmmm this show is awesome with the setup for the driver

why would zack and ivy be knocking on his door if they knew he was supposed to be driving the car btw

man this show really tried to go for more refined themes in the depths of the episode. its implied that the driver seduced trey in his trailer and then stole all of his shit once he was undressed but obviously they can't do anything else with it but imply

NO WAY DID THAT CAR STOP THAT FAST BJSDJDGJH

i love how mad carmen is about literally everything in this episode she just snarls about things

PLS THEY JUST STOLE SOME MORE SCHMUCKS CAR

the motorcycle driving animation is so slick though

the driver is underrated actually im realizing

HAHAHA CARMEN'S ANNOYED LITTLE LOOK

i LOVE the animation of the car speeding up to rocket mode its so cool

you can hear the tires squeal every time carmen/the sibs turn their vehicles around

carmen sandiego tragically dies in a 60 mile per hour head on collision atop a parking garage

"whats she going to do, give us both a piggyback ride?" carmen five seconds later:

split up gang! lets look for clues

GIGANTIC AUTOPILOT BUTTON <3

carmen's hips. thank god for this shot

also i love the implication that carmen was just dramatically positioning herself against the wall and waiting for the driver to turn around

i love this fight scene with carmen and the driver btw its good. they are pretty evenly matched

uhhh...where in time is carmen sandiego?

i also love the driver v carmen fight because they are like. clawing at each other. just brawling

those are the fighting moves of a bitch who has been mad ALLLL day and needs to take it out on someone

ivy constantly being terrified of zack's driving because she's seen him flip the car completely upside down before is my favorite

SEEN SOME SHIT

asami is that you

boston tea party and need for speed are truly a two part episode

i love frames of carmen jumping off things before she deploys her glider

she's literally so hot. also her forearm is disconnected from her elbow

THE GLARE DADDY STERLING GIVES HIM SHDGSDS

who still talked to carmen about a headquarters after she screamed "WE'LL CONTINUE TO DO SO WITHOUT A HEADQUARTERS" into the phone and then hung up in a fit of rage because i wouldnt have

yeah they tried to fake us out didn't they

we got to see that workshop in s4 when carmen was brainwashed..

THE FLIGHT TIME FROM SAN DIEGO TO MOSCOW IS 21 HOURS NO WAY DID THEY MAKE IT IF IT WAS HAPPENING TOMORROW MSGDJKDGJDS

I KNOW A PLACE i love shadowsan

alright theres need for speed. im going to try to crunch out crackle goes kiwi maybe tonight but we'll see how it goes lol

[mahoushoujotechsupport]

finally have time to continue my rewatch, so on to episode 9

again another one of my favorites and the grassley duel is probably my favorite fight of the series tbh

worth noting that miorine doesnt seem bothered that shaddiq comes to check up on her. gotta wonder how often he'd swing by, though i think it's safe to say absolutely not often enough that he would show he actually gives a shit

ok idk how i didnt notice it in the op after so many times but that fuckin door is there again.... i'm just going to hyperfixate on this dumb gold door that probably doesn't mean anything besides being another nod to utena

lol it honestly kills me that under difference circumstances (aka if shaddiq didnt have his head so far up his ass), they really could have been good friends. instead his decision to stay relatively distant and put up his cunning business front results in miorine (rightly) not trusting him at all.

right before miorine challenges shaddiq, there's a real fast cut to him tightening his fist on the table and i gotta wonder how in the world he thought he'd be able to just talk this out after basically screwing miorine over like this and then trying to extort her lol. yea he was ready to have to duel if it came down to it, but like cmon man just be normal for once

god i wish we could've seen secelia just dig into lauda more lmao

i love that miorine knows how to play the stupid game all these people play just as well as all of them but god am i glad that at the end of it all she doesnt have to deal with any of this shit anymore

lol i really wanna know how no one had noticed nika having secret meetings and sending secret messages for months tbh like chuchu even makes a comment asking where nika is in the scene before this one so she probably just disappared at random times but anime logic lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

up until this moment when miorine tells shaddiq that he's just like everyone else in the group, did this guy think that anything he's done (or really, hasn't done) would have made miorine think differently?

the look on his face here as miorine stops him from entering her most sacred of spaces just really says it all. like he can't fathom that miorine legitimately does not think positively of him

this is definitely one of my favorite scenes from the whole series. just showcasing how highly suletta thinks of miorine. whereas miorine was upset suletta agreed to a duel with elan a few episodes back, suletta just never questions miorine challenging shaddiq

this has gotta be the moment shaddiq realizes suletta is a "rival" for miorine's heart, yea?

i know what you are, sabina

lol these dorks

lmao miorine, you're so ruthless

on a serious note, someone please write a random student from asticassia pov fic because like imagine seeing all this going on from some rando's pov. the benerit group princess who hates everyone and has been trying to fuck off as far as possible suddenly forms a business and now she's challenging people to duels????

imagine if vim had sucessfully murdered delling and he just left guel as bob the builder for the rest of his life. why in the hell did he have to go by bob lmao

omg did we all collectively forget that the second school shooting episode wasn't the first time she's done this?!

so glad our little tanuki calls this bozo out on this shit. all you had to do was be a normal human being lol

the funny thing about shaddiq's little monologue here is that it's all his feelings under the assumption that miorine would forever be trapped within the confines of the benerit group and the stupid game her dad made up. and yeah, i suppose in that respect, he's partially right... but if he knew miorine well at all and not some idealized version of her, he'd know she wants nothing to do with any of that

bless you, gjm for making this loser seem more unhinged just by choosing to translate onna as bitch lmao

even secelia and rouji are just like uhhhhhhh

oh this is real nice juxtaposed with episode 24's "i'm a selfish person"

be selfish all you want, little tanuki, you deserve it

aerial hitting permet score six is such an iconic shot lmao this episode and this part specifically gave me goosebumps like a little loser the first time i saw it as the witch from mercury song starts playing

omg i am so excited that i preordered a permet score six aerial from p-bandai lmao look at her shes so cool all in blue

same, prospera, same

will never forget how happy i was when the till-chuchu headshot happens lmao, it still rules

i hope if gwitch ever gets a recap movie or movies that we get the moment miorine finds out about ericht and aerial. as aerial hits permet score six and suletta is talking to her, we see miorine visibly confused over suletta talking to her mobile suit... and i just really really want to see miorine's reaction to finding out about eri on top of her inner thoughts on suletta talking to aerial. like at first i'm sure she thought it was some quirky thing especially calling it her sister, but it's gotta be something she was like wtf about, right?

made it to image limit so no more pics but one thing that's respectable about shaddiq is him realizing at the end of this episode that there really is something special between miorine and suletta even if perhaps at this point the two of them haven't outright acknowledged it. we see him acknowledge in ep 7 that miorine is becoming a better version of herself from suletta's influence on her, but him bringing up dueling for her hand in marriage, to me at least, is him hanging up his towel when it comes to miorine because he realized suletta really won her heart over - he literally says "maybe you'd have let me in [to the greenhouse]"

lmao i really tried to not go overboard with screenshots but oh well

lets see if i can finish cour 1 tomorrow

[angelofverdum]

Yellowjackets S02E09

I love Yellowjackets because I love these characters. I care for them. They are just kids trying to survive. I also think that's the main problem. They thought about the young yellowjackets storyline but failed to figure out how to make the adult storyline interesting.

They can't just expect the actress' charm and chemistry to carry the adult plotline.

Anyways, I love that in this episode, they showed how Shauna does her thing. No wonder my girl is messed up. She has to do it alone. I guess before wasn't that bad bc she was cutting animals, but now she is cutting people that she knows. Damn, not too much on her.

Also, of course, Adam's body had perfect cuts. Shauna used to do it with her eyes close. She is just a kid, please.

The "haunting" scene was boring. Like, those women weren't going to run around those woods, that's for sure. They walked like three steps before Callie showed up.

I love that Callie shot first, then talked. She could have pointed that gun and asked them to back up, but she just went there mad as hell.

I have to confess that Adult Nat was my least favorite. I don't if it was because of Juliette's performance or what, but I didn't care about her, but that death was so dumb and lazy. Some people used the word corny.

Putting aside the fact that they killed her with fentanyl, so the world now thinks she was an addict. Christina Ricci is like two apples tall. Juliette could have easily smacked that syringe out of her hand.

Then they add slow motion, flashbacks, hallucinations, and music. Like, damn let me sit with it. Let Misty realize what she did.

The cop's plot was too long and uninteresting just for Walter saved the day.

Why did Jeff send Callie to look for Shauna alone in an unknown place that's probably a cult in the night? Dumb

Shauna saving her diaries and Jackie's dress was the best thing about that fire. Bitching about how she should have been the antler queen? real

I'm glad that Callie showed up there to save Shauna. But what were they doing at Lottie's? There was no reason for them to be there.

At least Nat didn't die in that ugly ass dress with those ugly ass shoes.

For a moment, I thought they were eating Javi raw. The fact that Travis could eat Javi's heart without shame and Shauna had to hide to eat Jackie's ear.

Nat the antler queen? Seems fake, but go off I guess

The way Taissa said it was "Van's plan." Like damn, nobody put a gun to your head to do it.

Everything was Van's plan so she could live? Honestly, it seems possible.

They send Lottie away again. They used to be a proper team. This is why Jackie was the captain.

They knew what had happened to Lottie. And all of them are so messed up. Taissa literally killed her dog and almost her wife. Why do they keep treating Lottie like shit?

Mind you, they never found Krystal's body. They could have fed themselves for a while.

How is Ben still standing? The last thing they ate was Jackie, and they were almost hallucinating when they were hunting Natalie. Ben hasn't eaten since before Jackie. How is he strong enough to burn the cabin? He can't be living on gay hallucinations only.

For the next season, I'm begging Showtime and the showrunners or whoever is responsible for the show promo: stop with the spoilers.

Don't show episodes to people, don't release whole ass scenes, and be careful with the teaser and promo pic. Educate your actors so they don't post things before the episode on social media.

[dakotakazansky]

Ghost • Six

Previous | Master List | Next

Warnings: 18+, Fluff, Angst, lots of Dumb Bitch Juice, Some Smut

Pairings: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x OC & Javy ‘Coyote’ Machado x OC

Word Count: 722

Tate

Javy and I left Kota's room and headed back to my room. I mean I wasn't really lying when I said I wanted to get to know him more, but I also wanted to talk to him about Kota and Jake. "So do you see it too?" I asked looking over to Javy while I unlocked my door. 

"What do you mean?" He replied back with a curious look on his face.

"Kota and Jake, like I see the way those two look at each other and..." I trailed off. 

He nodded to me, "Yeah I've noticed it too." He started, but then continued after sighing, "I've known Jake for a while, we met during plebe summer in the Naval Academy, we were roommates, and then became close friends, he's liked Kota for as long as I can remember," he looks over to me, "but that doesn't leave the confines of this room." He finishes. 

I smile, shutting and locking the door, "Well I won't tell anyone, your secret is safe with me, but recently a little birdy had told me she likes him too." I pause for a second feeling bad for telling Javy this but even though I just met Kota I do really want her to be happy.

"She's just scared to take that risk, and I understand why, it's hard to have feelings for your friend, and then have to wonder if they even see you the same, and if they didn't, that it wouldn't ruin that friendship." 

I nod over to the couch, inviting Javy to sit while I run to the kitchen to grab us some water. I take a drink, when Javy begins to speak again, "What if we like.." he stops, trying to find the right words when I speak up, "Parent Trap them?" Javy exclaims, "Yes! Exactly that, like you invite Kota somewhere, I invite Jake. And you know maybe magic happens from there." 

We both laugh at the silliness of the situation but then start throwing around ideas of what we could do. "I think before we go making big plans like these, we should do it in the right headspace, you know sober." I say to Javy. "Tate, you're absolutely correct." 

"Are you still a bit tipsy?" I question Coyote.

"Yeah just a bit, you mind if I stay here with you tonight, I know it wouldn't be responsible to drive currently." He questions.

"I mean I'd prefer you to stay here than driving home, let me go grab you a pillow and a spare blanket. I'll be right back." I say walking to my bedroom closet where I keep all the spare linens, and other bedding.

I look out my bedroom door to make sure I can't be seen, before fanning myself and thinking to myself, Come on Tate, get it together, you've only known this man for a little under a week now. 

I grab the spare bedding once I've recomposed myself and turn the couch into as good of a bed as I can. "There you go, all set!" I say hoping the nerves didn't come out in my voice again.

"Thank you Tate, one last question before you head to bed, where's the restroom in case I need it?" I begin to point down the hallway, "Oh uh, just down this hallway here, it’s the first door on the right." Coyote chuckled, I didn't notice it, "Thank you Tate, goodnight." He says approaching me for a hug. 

I hugged him back, and once we broke away, I grabbed my water off the coffee table and headed to bed. I shut my bedroom door, before leaning my back up against it. "Holy shit." I mutter under my breath, "You really gotta get your shit together man." 

I climbed into bed for the night, but sleep didn't come easily thinking about the gorgeous tall, dark and handsome man, sleeping on my couch in the living room. I take a deep breath trying to relax enough to fall asleep but all I can smell is his scent, mixed with the beer we were drinking. I mumble to myself, "Holy shit I'm down bad for him." Little did I know, that man out on my couch was experiencing the same thing I was, we're equally down bad for each other.

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[clonehub]

Starting the finale!

It's been quite an uneventful journey I will say!

Oh muffled volume! You don't get that often. The coolest was when mace had his moment in s1

The pause in this clones when he says Kaminos been destroyed :(

"and I will be left here on my own" :((((

Damn crosshair is really down

Oh he's up

Why was it not in AZs instinct to help 😭

I wonder who taught her to swim

Damn is crosshair really this stubborn

This almost sounds like I think the clones theme from tcw??

Yeah being this deep underwater.....nah

CROSSAHIR BE FUCKING SERIOUS

"all those missions together and you threw away" bitch BE SERIOUSSSS

"soldiers follow orders" notice how he didn't say "good"

Ok crossie baby part of the reason they're all nearly dead is bc of you you know that right

They looooove shoulder bumps in tcw

Kinda crazy that AZ can just weld through two feet of metal

No this was driving me insane. All this running bc you knew y'all was finna drown now that you're on the ocean floor in a cracked tube you want to WALK

WALK AND TALK AT THE SAME TIME BETTER UET RUN

How is this the finale and they really had to slow this shit down 😭

"something on your tiny mind, wrecker"

See look. Wrecker getting the emotional development that everyone should have been getting simultaneously

But tech essentially saying Crosshairs severe and unyielding personality is in his nature is rubbing me the wrong way. It's like. Essentialst idk. Like a long that same thread of eugenics that's been undergirding this show more than an actual plot has, saying oh well Crosshairs never going to change he simply cannot help it. Form one PoV this could be tech being just as uncompromising as crosshair is. Another is the contrast between tech and wrecker as a mind/heart thing which theyve been semi doing for this season. But also does this not essentialize his fascist tendencies too. Nooo he can't help being a fascist or having a personality that lends itself toward authoritarianism it's in his nature and you cannot change nature. Which kinda goes against the whole choice thing Hunters been talking about up to this point. Idk.

"understanding you does not mean I agree with you" this line annoys me sorry it just sounds like. Every Single -Ist and -Phobic person I've come across who's like "yeah I ~understand~ you but I don't have to agree!!" Babygirl I think actual understanding at least on the level as deep as ideology (or in my case various positions of marginalization) would require......nvm I can see here that there's two ways to understand "understand" but also the line is still corny soz

WALK FASTERRRRRRRR

Ok if there's a problem why did you stop walking.

"run!" You should been doing that--

Man Crosshairs run was so dumb

Az was strong enough to carry fives I'm sure he could lift omega up some of these places

"where our MUTATIONS were MANIPULATED and ENHANCED"

Stop calling them defective lmao

"you take things too personally" stay on topic crosshair let's talk about the empire leaving you for dead 🧐

"kamino regs the Republic" wild wild wild

"the empire will control the entire galaxy and I am going to be a part of it" see how he's a fascist guys

Why is he having headaches

LMAO not even omega gave up on him

They've got buttons on the inside?

Oh btw omegas 10 which means tbb is like. Probably 7 if she remembers them being created.

AZI :(

NO BECAUSE WHATS RHE FHCKING POINT OF FOING AFTER HIM??? REALISTICALLY OUTSIDE MAKING CROSSHAIR HAVE HIS LIL FAKE OHT MOMENT OF GOOD

I mean at least they have him now 😭

This is the whitest they'll look in this series

"we want different things" I mean. Yeah. But like fascism is kinnndaaaaaaaa

Second use of the word brother in this series lmao

This Forgive a Fascist ass plotline

You don't get a lot of characters with bangs

DONE

Quite uh. I guess uneventful as a finale all things considered.

[tammyfeabakker]

Lesson on manipulation! Those who manipulate think your manipulating them. As cannon range rd turns... the ex next door is a manipulator. Shes constantly outside when I'm out there. The other day Glenn drove by and beeped and wave boy did I get a dirty look. This has got to go. Chris can't even stop and say hey without backlash from her. This has got to be resolved she ain't controlling who I can talk too. So I'm nipping this shit in the butt! I'm going to the shop why? Because she needs to be chewed up and spit out. She's controlling Chris by manipulation. Gaslighting me into thinking they got something going on. By calling him constantly with the woes me and her mail. He blames her mother for being a grandiose narcissist hahahaha I'm like your born with it your not taught how to be one. We all have some form of narcissism. We all get to an age we know the difference between right and wrong. This chick is a gn and leo. Leos are ruled by the sun. They like to be the center of attention now add the gn. I learned shes not jealous of me. She is wondering why he is attracted to me not her.. I realized this when she had a problem with Glenn beeping and waving she was out there of course he didn't acknowledge her. Now she's fucking with me and I'm over it. I can manipulate better then she can. I don't pull it out unless I have to. I don't need too because I jus ask I get it. I have no clue what I got but I got something moves people. Magnetism and charisma. I have been told. Its not about getting the man I have him I'm in his mind and thoughts. Its bout your fucking with me and no one fucks with me. If I fucking wanna talk to Chris really nothing she can do to stop me. You see shes in a situation where she can't do shit. She lives with her brother wife and nephew they rent. I know the owner Vic. I jus havtah to make a phone call I could have her removed but I'm not spiteful at all. But she can't get loud her brother will ask her to leave and frankly her dog sunshine would be homeless and I'm not doing that to her. But I do want her to open up to me. She needs to be told he is not your boyfriend no more its none of your business what goes on his life. Stop giving me dirty looks and stop trying to be my friend because you can't manipulate me. If me and Chris are meant to be together you have no say in it. If we reversed it. You think she would step off no.. I do not disrespect her in any way I don't call him go to the shop wave to him every time he goes by. But she would if she was in my shoes. I'm going to the shop to see what Chris wants to do about her if he wants to stop and chat because she will explode on him. I'm all for it I think if he does it enough I go to the shop she will eventually break. Don't manipulate a fucking manipulator. I'll always have the upper hand I stay a step ahead. Like I said its not about the guy. Its bout get a mutha fucking life grow the fuck up and get the fuck over it. Now you got a fucking reason to give me bad looks!! And break i will make her break. Then she will be asked to leave. Nobody's fault but your own. She think I'm a dumb blonde I play it that way. She has no clue what I have up my sleeve. I moved here to change my life I did my daughter didn't put herself into 300k debt to put up with this fat ass ugly ass bitch! Oh Katy waved to him shes going to think they have something going on. Katy won't care Katy will fuck her up! If this happens.