#not wearing any metalhead clothing but he looks like he still listens to it

[littlefankingdom]

I do not care about canon or what DC says, Black Canary sings metal, or at least rock. (And for the uncultured people, metal isn't just screaming. Go listen to Ghost In The Rain by Beast In Black, their singer has been gifted by the gods)

Firstly, she has the look, the aesthetic for it. She would have some great costumes. Secondly, it's usual to have trouble hearing for days after a metal concert, so it fits her power very well.

[i-arch-my-backula]

Horror characters with an s/o in a band head canons

Sorry for barely posting. I say this every time I post but I've been very busy lately with a lot of stuff but I'm still trying to find time to write time for y'all. So for these head canons I'm just putting a blanket statement of the reader is in a rock band. Also I'm looking into writing for fem readers as I explore my own gender identity. But reader's gender isn't specified in this.

Includes: Corey Cunningham, Tiffany Valentine, Amanda Young, Billy Loomis, and Martin Mathias

Content includes: Possessive behavior, murder mentions, implied murder, mentions of saw traps in Amanda's section, brief 'stalking' mentions, not proof read

Corey Cunningham

Pre-Michael he's going to feel a little awkward going into a show that you're playing at. If you play something like shoe gaze or some kind of softer rock music he won't feel as awkward going into to see you preform but if you play harder rock or even metal he's going to feel very out of place.

Pre-Michael Corey would also try his hardest to learn about whatever instrument you play for the band or if you sing he'll try his best to learn about singing and the best way to do it without hurting your vocal cords. He'll do his research on what you do because he wants to be the best supportive boyfriend he can be.

Pre-Michael Corey won't really get jealous of people cheering you on or being supportive of your music. He understands that they just enjoy your music and they want to show their support for you. After all, he's the one who gets to go back stage with you and to all the practices. He's really the lucky one.

Post Michael however is a different story. Now he's more open to whatever music you play. Even if it's harder music like metal or some kind of hard/alternative rock he's down for it. I wouldn't say he'd get in a mosh pit or anything like that anytime soon.

When he's post Michael he'll still keep knowledge about whatever instrument you play or how to take care of you if you sing. He'll become a little obsessive about it, going with you to every band practice or he'll watch you from somewhere else while you practice. Same goes for when you're at home. If you don't want him there you won't know that he's there.

Post Michael Corey is also a little more protective when it comes to your fans. Now he knows that you won't have that many fans that push boundaries with you, but any that try to push boundaries with you on this are going to pay the price.

Tiffany Valentine

Tiffany (in my opinion) is a gothic rock, post punk, dark wave, other goth music genres kind of girl. So if you play any of those kinds of music genres she's more than happy to go to one of your shows and support you there.

She will happily tell anyone listening that her lovely s/o is in the band playing on stage and that you're super talented, and it doesn't matter if they care about it or not, she's proud of you and she cares.

She might not know much about music but I can promise you that she's going to try her best to help you with practicing whatever instrument you play or whatever you need help with that's music related.

If you want her to go to your band practices with you she's all for that. She's happy to sit in and listen to whatever you're working on, it's not like she's going to tell anyone what you're doing, she'd never do you dirty like that.

She WILL be dressing up for all of your shows. It doesn't matter how big or small they are she needs to represent you and how well you treat her. She also just really likes getting dressed up to go out and this is an excuse to do that.

If you have band merch she will also wear it. Even if it's just some shirt with your band name or logo on it then she'll wear it while she sleeps or some other time. She prefers more feminine clothes so she might go as far as to paint on your band name and or logo onto some old dress she has just for fun.

Amanda Young

Amanda is a metalhead plain and simple. She likes harder music and if you play harder music she'll be happy to go to your show. If you play slower music, she hopes you won't take offense, but she might not go to all of your shows.

She might not go to all of your shows anyway because she's busy with her jigsaw work but she'll try to see at least a couple of your shows every time you have some.

I feel like if you're stuck on lyrics or where to go with a song she'll be there to help you with it. She might not be the most knowledgeable on music but she's going to try her best to help you get out of that rut.

If you need a song name she'll suggest something based off a trap she's made or just a trap in general. "What about 'knob twister'?" "What about Venus Fly Trap?" But she'll be more subtle with it if you're unaware of her being a jigsaw apprentice.

She won't take any of the other apprentices to your shows, she'll honestly keep you pretty separate from her 'work life' outside of telling John about you. If any of them somehow find out about you and your band she will get very defensive of you and she will swear if Hoffman ever goes to one of your shows she's going to put him in a reverse bear trap.

She won't get super jealous of fans of your music unless they start pushing boundaries. She gets people being fans of your work and wanting to meet you and stuff, but if they end up getting a little too far 'into' your music she may or may not put them in a trap.

Billy Loomis

It's the 90's and just like look at him, he's probably going to be into that slower, more shoegaze kind of stuff, he's the og male manipulator in more ways than one.

He'll try to be open to the kind of music that you play but if it doesn't interest him he probably won't be going to every single one of your shows. He'll make up excuses about having to do stuff for school and whatever.

But don't get it twisted, if anyone tries to make fun of you for the kind of music you play they're gonna meet ghostface real soon. Just because he might not be into your music it doesn't mean that other people are allowed to be mean to you about it.

This also applies to fans of your band who try and get a little too close to you for Billy's comfort. He understands that you're going to have fans of your music but that doesn't mean people are going to just get away with being obsessed with you, that's his job god damn it!

But if he's being as possessive as he usually is he'll have Stu go to one of your shows for him just to check things out and make sure nothing bad is happening there. He doesn't think you're going to cheat on him, he trusts you, he just doesn't trust other guys, unless it's Stu.

He'll play down how much he really does care about your music. He tries to keep up this kind of 'whatever' 'cool guy' persona but he really does care about your music and he might stalk you a little bit and just watch you at your band practices for fun.

[spicysix]

📖 robin's russian dictionary - send me this emoji + a word, song, prompt or scenario + a character or ship and i'll write you a ficlet!

I'd love to see what you'd do with eddie munson and soulmate au

ok this is like A BILLION YEARS LATE. i'm so sorry LSKDLAKSDSAK but it's finally here! thank you so much for the request and hope you'll like this 💖

word count: 2.9k

warnings: gn reader, college!AU, no backstories mentionings so you can imagine it whenever you'd like. other than that, all fluff, no warnings

author's note: title from 'Ready To Start' by Arcade Fire. scene inspired by Tara and Darcy's meeting in Heartstopper. not proofread, sorry if there's any mistakes!

soulmate prompt: identifying marks (first words said to each other)

Eddie hasn’t always hated his soulmark.

When little, he didn’t understand, of course. Didn’t understand why his dad would glare angrily at the two words, or why his mom would gaze at them sadly. It didn’t help that they weren’t soulmates, had never found their other halves and lived frustrated by it.

As he grew older and figured himself out, understood which clothes he felt comfortable wearing, which songs he liked listening to, which haircut fit him better — then he learned to dislike the soulmark.

As he grew older and people would call him that on the streets, tell him he’d be just like his father, words spat out in pure despise, as he learned to hate his dad and want nothing more than to be nothing like him — then he learned to hate the soulmark.

First of all, he liked metal, okay. He was a metalhead, his style was completely different from what they’d call him. He hated that all boys who didn’t wear polo shirts, all girls who didn’t twirl on long skirts — they were all tossed into the same little box. How choosing not to conform to the norm meant they’d all be tossed aside.

And he was nothing like his dad.

So, yeah, Eddie hasn’t always hated his soulmark, the faded words on his wrist waiting to be spoken out loud by that special someone to shine as gold as the sun. But, as he grew older, he learned to hate that “Hey punk” with all of his being.

*

You haven’t always resented your soulmark.

When little, you didn’t understand, of course. Didn’t understand why your parents shared a weird look when you showed the word to them for the first time. It didn’t help that they were soulmates themselves, and the look they’d give to their own golden soulmarks was much different and fond.

As you grew up and noticed how many times people said that, how many times you’d grow hopeful only to be turned down again, how many times you heard the word until it stopped sounding like a word at all — then you learned to resent the soulmark.

So, yeah, you haven’t always resented your soulmark, the faded word on your wrist waiting to be spoken out loud by that special someone to shine as gold as the sun. But, as you grew older, you learned to resent that “Sorry” with all of your being.

*

The first time Eddie sees you is in Introduction To Music Theory with professor Marsh, his first of many Tuesdays learning all the theory he doesn’t have — not when he learned to play guitar with nothing but his ears, his nights watching bands at The Hideout and an everlasting hyperfocus. Professor March introduces you as his PA. You have a huge cup of coffee in hands and you don’t spare a single word to the class, only nods and sits somewhere in the back. Not really approachable, Eddie thinks. You don’t see him.

The second time Eddie sees you is at the cafeteria nearest to the Music Building. It’s the very next day, Wednesday, and there you are buying a huge cup of coffee to handle the day. Still looking tired, and still looking a little grumpy. You don’t see him.

The third time Eddie sees you is later that week, Saturday, at his first official college party. It’s a welcome party of sorts, and Chrissy had befriended a few frat idiots who thought they had a chance with her — her, a raging homosexual — and invited her and whoever else she wanted to bring to their party. She invited Eddie, and Eddie wanted to know the local scene, so he goes. You are there, a few friends by your side, as you sway to the rhythm of the music playing, and you don’t look tired or grumpy. You have a huge smile on your face, and you throw your head back to laugh at something a dude by your side says, and the cup in your hand has a mix of vodka and some weird juice instead of coffee. You look beautiful. You don’t see him.

The fourth time Eddie sees you is next Monday. You see him then.

*

The first time you see him, a Tuesday, is in Introduction To Music Theory with professor Marsh, where you are the PA — out of obligation only, because you hate the man. Doesn’t help that you hadn’t rested all summer, having to work your ass off to pay the goddamn tuition that is still way too expensive even with your scholarship. The coffee you had bought isn’t doing the miracle you need to look alive. But he stood out, 8 AM in the late summer wearing a cropped Metallica tee and a heavy leather jacket on top. He has long, voluminous hair, curly in a cloud of frizz, and that is what you stare at for the whole class. Aside from the introduction made by professor Marsh, he doesn’t see you.

The second time you see him, the very next day on Wednesday, he is a few people behind you in line at the cafeteria closest to the Music Building. The wall behind the counter is a floor-to-ceiling mirror, and you notice that head of curls entering through the doors instantly after requesting your double espresso. He is reading something on a paper, head down. He doesn’t see you.

The third time you see him, that weekend on Saturday, is at a random frat party. You brother wants to join the frat, and so he dragged you — and you dragged your friends. It isn’t all bad. Especially not after you see him sharing a joint with a pretty blonde in the backyard. They are talking and he has a soft smile on his lips the whole time, black eyeliner and a different Metallica cropped tee, and the moon is out and bright and it shines in his eyes. He looks beautiful. He doesn’t see you.

The fourth time you see him is next Monday. He sees you then.

Third week of the semester, campus still bright and charged with all the energy from a brand new class and its cheerful freshmen. You’ve only been here for a year, but you miss the excitement of being new to College life, and so you bask in it as you walk past the groups of freshmen joyfully sharing their experiences.

The hallways of the Music building are filled with posters of people trying to find companions to form a band, or bands looking for new members; contests and competitions and shows and concerts. It’s all so very refreshing. Aside from that, though, it’s fairly empty of people. You like to go to the Music Room and practice at late nights, the last hour or two before the room is closed by the janitors.

You see, as you turn at the right hallway, that the light on the Music Room is on, so you figure you’ll have company. You don’t mind, not everyone goes there to practice on an instrument, and even if they do, you could easily practice together — you like to get to know new musicians from time to time.

But as you turn and walk through the door, you are almost tackled by whoever is leaving the room. You feel pain rushing through your shoulder and notice nothing but the little metal pointy pins on the person’s jeans vest that had almost pierced through your skin.

“Hey, punk!” you complain, taking account of the black combat boots and tight skinny jeans as well, fitting the whole menacing look.

You almost miss as the person says quietly, at the same time as you basically yell at them: “Sorry.”

Nobody told you how painful it was. You forget easily about the sting on your shoulder as your wrist starts to burn. In the very back of your mind, you find it funny how the huge romanticization of soulmarks made everyone market the first encounter as something warm and delicate. It isn’t, you notice. It burns like hell, and you want to rip your skin off.

In the whole fuss that happened — them stumbling into you, you stumbling into the room, them turning around to apologize, and the two of you thrown completely off your heads because of your soulmate encounter — they made a big mistake.

They stepped back in shock, and kicked the door weight that held the door open. Still a little hazed, you failed to notice that happening, and the click of the door closing and locking is what brings you back to reality.

“Shit!” you complain, looking through their shoulder to the now locked door. “Shit, shit, shit, shit!” you circle around yourself and hide your face under your hands. You want to scream.

“I know I’m no Jude Law, but am I that ugly?” you hear them joking, and only then do you actually look at their face.

It is him.

You feel your eyes widening and cheeks burning, because it is him and you’ve noticed him ever since you first saw him, you’ve been noticing him around all week, and he’s your soulmate.

His word is burned into your wrist. You words are burned into his.

“No! No, you’re not bad at all,” you say before your think, and the blush on his ears is adorable. “Is just- the door is faulty, if it closes it locks and only opens from the outside. And now we’re stuck here, probably for a couple of hours until the janitors come close the building, or maybe until the morning.”

He looks behind him to the door as you speak, taking in the information.

“Until morning?” he asks as he turns back to look at you, clearly alarmed.

“I can’t guarantee that the janitor will go through the hallway,” you point at the door. “Let’s hope he does.”

“Shit, shit, shit indeed,” he mutters and you bite back a smile.

Your wrist is still burning. Sorry. His probably is too. Hey, punk!

“Sorry for calling you a punk. Just felt the little pins and went with it,” you point again, now at the spiky pins on his jacket and he looks down to assess them. His ears are still pink.

“Oh. It’s… okay.”

He looks at you again, deeply into your eyes and you notice how big they are. So brown. Round. Like a little cow’s, very doe. You could get lost in them.

You do.

“Sorry, what?” you question after you notice he had asked you something as you stared at him.

He smirks, “I asked your name. I’m Eddie.”

Eddie. Eddie, your soulmate.

You give him your name too and his smirk turns to something softer, less teasing.

“Nice to finally meet you,” he says your name and there’s a chill that runs down your spine.

“Yeah,” you answer. “Been a couple of decades in the waiting.”

He chuckles and looks around.

The Music Room is wide and prepared to be used by the Music students. The walls are thick and covered in soundproof foam. It has a few chairs, a table near the door and the only instrument that stays there is a piano. That’s your instrument.

You look at Eddie then and sees that he’s holding a guitar case.

He notices you looking. He heads to the table and opens the case on top of it. It’s a beautiful B. C. Rich Warlock, and you come closer to see it better.

“Isn’t she amazing?” he asks and you nod. “The love of my life, really.” You both chuckle. “I reckon you play piano since you’re empty handed?”

You answer positively and he asks about it. So you tell him how your interest on pianos arose with your father, how you took classes all through school, how it felt like your fingers were made to play the keys. How the world dissipated when you played, how you felt like you could do it for hours, how you’d pour your entire soul out through music.

“That’s how I feel too,” he says, running his finger through the guitar strings. “We should jam it out!” He looks at you with those big brown eyes glimmering and you can’t say no.

It’s hard to find a song that matches both your musical tastes, but you’re able to settle on Bowie’s Space Oddity after a little back and forth. While you’re settling into the piano and Eddie is dragging one of the chairs to sit closer to you, you ask him about his own interest in guitar.

He tells you how he’s grown up to his mother playing acoustics, and how it was something that he cherished between him and her. The good memories about her that playing brought up. How, after she passed away and he went to live with her brother, Uncle Wayne, he taught Eddie how to play so he could still remember her and the music they loved together.

Looking at it from an outsider’s point of view, it might seem weird how you both so easily talked about yourselves to literal strangers. And, maybe it was the lingering burn in your wrist, but it felt right. Opening up to him made sense in a way that tingled your belly, and listening to him being vulnerable in return made your heart flutter.

Maybe fate knew what it was doing, after all.

It took you both a while to settle into the right tempo for the song, because you’re into the slow pace and Eddie’s as electric as his guitar. But, just as naturally as everything else so far, you fit into the same rhythm at a point, and the music you make together sounds like the most beautiful one your ears have ever heard. You smile your way through eight minutes and you can’t look at him without losing your cadence but somehow you feel that he’s just as radiant as you. The song builds, and your heartbeat accelerates with it, and it’s like a weight that’s been over your shoulder for so long suddenly drops.

When you finish playing, you’re both panting as if you just played an entire concert.

You look at him and the way his eyes shimmer just for you feels like a promise, and you want to take it, and you want to keep it.

You both get up from your seats at the same time and are instantly drawn to each other. Your wrist isn’t burning, not anymore, it’s just a tingling feeling and for the first time you acknowledge it.

You bring your arm up and you look at it. Sorry. It’s golden, and it’s beautiful, and you suddenly want to cry. You peek at Eddie and he’s also beaming at your soulmark. He also raises his arm, pushes his sleeve up and there it is. Hey punk. It’s golden, and it’s beautiful.

“This is funny. I used to hate it,” he whispers, and you’re standing so close together that you hear it just fine.

“So did I,” you trace your soulmark with the tip of your finger, and in an instant Eddie’s finger is tracing it with you. His touch is delicate through the roughness of the calluses and you want to feel it forever.

“I don’t hate it anymore. This is also funny, but it changed instantly. It’s like I never hated it in the first place.”

You look up at him again, and he’s already looking at you. You’re both smiling, and you can’t shake the feeling that this should be terrifying but it just isn’t. You get it, you understand what he’s saying. It does feel instant, immediate, and it should unsettle you. But it doesn’t. It just feels like a breath of fresh air. Meant to be.

You’re interrupted when the door opens.

You try to recall the janitor’s name, but your brain’s feeling fuzzy and surrounded by nothing but Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. Your soulmate.

“Got locked in?” the janitor asks once you and Eddie turn to face him. He’s got an eyebrow raised and a smirk on his lips and a knowing look in his eyes. “By accident or…”

“Accident. I’m a freshman, didn’t know about the door,” Eddie says. He takes the lead and walks back to the table, puts his guitar back on its case and closes it. Heads to the door and holds it open. The janitor is still smirking. “Thank you.”

“Don’t worry. Saw the light under the door and thought it was weird. Good that I came to check in, or you would’ve been stuck here all night.”

Wouldn’t have been that bad, you think. But you just smile as you gather your purse and walks until you’re standing beside Eddie. The janitor steps back and waits by the corridor for you two to leave so he can finally do his job and lock the building.

You look at your soulmate. He’s already looking at you.

“Are you ready?” Eddie asks, keeping the door open for you. His eyes are burning into yours and there’s a ghost of a smile on his lips. He looks hopeful. The hand not holding the door twitches and you wonder if he wants to offer it for you to hold. You’d accept it.

You know his question is about more than just leaving the room where you’ve been trapped for a while. It’s about meetings, and golden soulmarks, and fate, and new beginnings. It’s about the love of your life, the life you’ll live together, and if you’re willing to give that a chance.

You don’t have to think about it too much.

“Yes. I’m ready,” you answer and his smile widens. You reach out first, and his hand is warm when your fingers intertwine. You know it’s the first time of many that you’ll hold his hand.

You’re looking forward to the future.

[hassedah]

Hey! Can you make the reaction of the boys of the MC being a metalhead and a bassist?, I love your content btw!!

MC is a metalhead and bassist :

Hi! How are you? ^^

I hope you are well! Thank you, I'm glad you like my headcanons.

I tried to make this headcanons different from MC is a metal fan, so it wouldn't be too repetitive. So I mainly focused on the style of dress and the fact that the MC can play the bass here. ^^

I hope you enjoy this headcanon. ^^

Take care of yourself and Have a nice day! ^^

--------

Vladimir :

Piercing, black clothes, tattoo, leather jacket. Vladimir looked at you as if the devil was at his door. He criticizes your style of dress, saying that the new generation dresses like any way and that no one would have dared to dress like that in his time. However, he still keeps some of the money from the mansion for you to buy your own clothes and concert tickets.

The worst thing for him? You took your bass with you. For a moment he thought of hiding it to stop you playing it, but he never did. After all, he'd be devastated if someone broke his piano. And it must be the same for you and your bass, so he just sighs when you play it.

Little by little, he finally listens. Either he has got used to it or it is not as bad as he thought. It's probably a mixture of both. Sometimes he really comes to listen to what you're playing and sometimes he even finds himself enjoying it a bit. It's never going to be his favourite instrument, but if you're the one playing it he can probably stand it a little bit eventually.

Béliath :

You are light years away from sharing the same style of dress. Black is not his favourite colour, he doesn't like leather jackets very much (or at least not as much as Ethan and Ivan) and he doesn't dare to get a tattoo for fear of not appreciating his tattoos one day. However, He loves your hair, although he would never do that thing (headbanging) with his head for fear of hurting his neck.

He is rather intrigued, metal is not his favourite kind of music, but he is really curious to hear you play the bass. If you want, he will offer to play music at his parties, after all, Raphael often plays the piano. There is no reason why you shouldn't be able to participate too.

He's not really interested in learning to play the bass, but he listens to you talk about it and he listens carefully enough to go out and buy the equipment you need without making a mistake.

Ivan :

He was so happy when he saw you coming. Finally, someone, other than Ethan, who understands his passion for metal. He also loves your style of dress, he would love to be able to dress like that too, but he has never dared. He's thought about growing his hair out, but he's too afraid it won't fit and he's afraid Vladimir will yell at him if he ever comes back with a piercing or a tattoo.

Aaron :

Aaron does not hesitate to defend you if Vladimir criticises your dress style. After all, with Vladimir and Raphael stuck in their respective times it would be a shame if you couldn't dress as you please.

He also supports you when Vladimir and Raphael complain about hearing you play the bass. After all, they can both play the piano and no one is going to stop them. Raphael even plays the clarinet and the violin! So it's out of the question that you can't play the musical instrument you want.

He doesn't want to learn to play it, but he doesn't mind you playing bass in the same room as him while he's writing poetry or reading a book. It's actually quite nice and reminds him a bit of the time when you couldn't listen to music without knowing how to play it and without having a musician around.

Raphaël :

He doesn't really understand your style of dress, but he won't criticise it. After all, he is still dressed in renaissance fashion and would prefer never to have to wear modern clothes he doesn't like.

He knows how to play several different musical instruments, so he knows very well how complicated learning is, but he really doesn't like the bass… why don't you play the piano instead? It's nicer, isn't it? Or the double bass! When you tell him that you just didn't learn to play the piano and the double bass because you preferred the bass, he has a hard time understanding.

At first he swore he would never listen. After all, you do metal and he hates it. But after hearing you once or twice, he realises that the bass is not as aggressive an instrument as he feared. He might even enjoy listening to you play from time to time, as long as what you play is not too violent. He especially likes blues tunes, which you can play if you want to please him.

Ethan :

He's a bit jealous of your clothes, he's only got one leather jacket and even though it suits him very well, he doesn't wear it often because he doesn't have much clothing that goes well with it. He's also in awe of your tattoos, for the moment like Beliath, he doesn't dare get a tattoo. In fact, he has several styles that he would like very much, but he also changes his mind often so he prefers to wait a little longer (and he made Beliath swear never to let him enter a tattoo artist's house if he is drunk).

He doesn't dare ask you outright, but he would love to learn to play the bass. He has never managed to convince Vladimir to let him buy an instrument he likes. Whereas Raphael almost managed to convince him to buy a harp when he already has a clarinet and a violin.

He often listens to you play and if you decide to teach him he will pay close attention. Even though he quickly gets annoyed when he can't do what you teach him. However, Ethan is persistent and retains and learns things easily, so it's not unpleasant to teach him to play the bass.

Neil :

He's been around for over a thousand years, so he raises an eyebrow at your style of dress but doesn't really care. Anyway, for him nothing could be worse than the puffy breeches that were very fashionable in Europe in the 16/17th century. It was a horrible time for clothing and he's really relieved it's over.

Neil can play several musical instruments. He has had a long time to learn. So he understands and respects the perseverance it takes to learn to play an instrument. Even when it's not his favourite instrument. He still likes to listen to you play it, although he doesn't intend to learn to play it himself.

He almost always accompanies you to the shops when you are looking for accessories for your bass, even if he sometimes has a bit of trouble understanding what you and the salesman might be saying.

Léandra :

She really likes your style of dress. It's even a look she could adopt without any problem. She has long hesitated to get piercings, especially in her septum, but she's not sure if it's right for her, so she hasn't tried it yet.

She can sing, but she never took the time to learn to play a musical instrument. It's not something succubi usually do, she was already out of the ordinary when she took care of her little brother, she didn't want to look like an even weirder succubus by learning to play an instrument. However, she loves to hear you play and if you wanted to join a metal band, she would be your biggest supporter.

If you offer to teach her to play it, she is unlikely to refuse. Even if she would rather not have another succubus know about it. She is very attentive to what you say, but she gets distracted quite easily so you can't spend very long on the same piece before she wants to do something else.

Farah :

You are very different from the rest of the pack with your style of dress, but no one comments on it. The interests of each member of the pack are important to the whole pack and Farah wants to make sure that everything goes well between you and them. Younger members will sometimes come up to you and ask about your tattoos or piercings (they are mostly interested in whether it hurts) or ask about your favourite metal bands.

The main concern is the transport of your bass, of course you don't have an electric bass but an acoustic bass. When you are too tired, injured or ill there is always a member of the pack who offers to carry it for you, after all if your musical instrument is important to you then it is out of the question to abandon it. In a way you have become the musician of the group and Farah finds it very pleasant to hear you play after a long day of walking. It reminds Farah of when she used to play guitar for the pack, if she listened to herself she would certainly go out and buy one, but she's too afraid she won't be able to play it anymore because she hasn't played it since she broke it.

To make you happy, Farah sometimes takes routes that allow you to attend metal concerts.

[666-eyeless-maggots]

Eddie Munson HC’s

Look, he told me these himself, he’s fine

Mf is TOUCH STARVED

He’s a gigantic cuddle bug

Has to be touching you at all times, even if it’s just your thighs touching

In general bugs are a no, though he can admire from a far

Though metal is his favorite genre, he can listen to all kinds of music and appreciate it

The biggest simp for you

Watching you get ready in the morning

Talking about your favorite things

Just breathing really and his eyes are glued to you in pure admiration

Realistically I feel like he doesn’t get a lot of action (yes I saw the condoms on the nightstand 💀)

He doesn’t show it, but the “freak” title does get to him sometimes

He just wants to be loved

Can’t really sleep unless he’s holding something, 99% of the time being you

Without you, it’s most likely a pillow he’s had since he was a kid

Wayne probably bought it for him when he first took him in and he became really attached to it

Though he does love being big spoon, he prefers being held a lot of the time (though he wouldn’t admit it)

Not the best with words so he will show his love through actions

Making you mixtapes

Comforting you after a long day

Even making you a matching battle vest with your favorite band patches

What’s his is yours, he loves when you wear his clothes

If you still want a house by the end of the day, don’t let him cook unsupervised

A/N- I actually would like to write more headcanons for our favorite metalhead, so if you have any requests feel free to send them in! Just keep it SFW please, I’m not comfortable writing sexual stuff

[forbidding-souda]

Scenario: THH boys reacting to their punk Y/N secretly jamming out to cheesy 80s tune? (PS I adore your writing how the flip are you so talented I-)

TTH boys reacting to their punk S/O jamming out to cheesy 80s music

OMG!! Talented??? dbaibdflwahs You’re so nice!!! My crush just told me he adores the way I dance and I still haven’t recovered from it wfhbwlbsahaha

april 26th update: FUCKING SHIT THAT DID NOT AGE WELL^^ OH MY GOD IS THIS ASK FROM FUCKING SEPTEMBER/?!?!!??!?!??!?! I'M GONNA CRY

Anyways I feel obligated to write this since I listen to classic punk way more than like ,,,, , , ,,,, ,, , ,,,, , ,,,,,, ,,, shit like operation ivy and rancid you know. I'm more ramones and dead kennedys.

But I'm a metalhead goth so you can see how I can catch a groove.

currently playing (this is embarrassing since I was just talking about being a metalhead goth please ignore this): already down by the matchstick skeletons

-Mod Souda

LEON KUWATA

➳ He sees you sliding against your bedroom floor, using a hairbrush as a fake microphone.

➳ Immediately upon seeing him, you decide to grab his forearm.

➳ All he can do is smile.

➳ This isn't the type of punk he listens to. He listens to more pop-punk; the emo type.

➳ He didn't even know what punk actually meant until he met you.

➳ You still drag him across the floor with you and sing the words into his ear.

➳ And you never let go of his hand. Not even when you pull him up ontop of the bed, jumping on it with him as you sing your heart out.

HAGAKURE YASUHIRO

❤ You walk past him as he pours hot water into a noodle cup. You don't respond when he says good morning, so he looks up.

❤ There are headphones in your ears... in your own house.

❤ When you notice his confusion you pull on out and give him a smile. "Sorry."

❤ He asked you what you are listening to and you show him on your phone.

❤ There's no way he'd even recognize the artist. There's no resemblance in his eyes. All he does is shrug.

❤ "You don't have to hide it." He states, grabbing his noodles and exiting the kitchen.

❤ You watch him walk before unplugging your headphones.

BYAKUYA TOGAMI

♥ He had a specific thing against hearing music whenever he was reading. He did not like the distraction, nor the loudness of whatever you decided to put on.

♥ If anything, he would prefer headphones over you wandering around the house blasting the disgusting riffs and the unlikable vocals.

♥ "Can you please turn your music down, I can hear it through the earphones." He puts a certain emphasis on the word 'music' that you didn't pick up on at first.

♥ You roll your eyes, telling him no in disobedience while following his orders anyway. He watches you curiously. Only for a second. "What are you listening to?"

♥ "The classics."

♥ He clicks his tongue before laying back against his armchair. "That is most definitely not classical music."

MAKOTO NAEGI

♡ You twirl pencils in your hands and imitate drumsticks.

♡ This is like the fourth time you've done this in this class period alone.

♡ Naegi, who sits next to you, has to bear through whatever song you decide to listen to.

♡ There's even a point where he taps on your shoulders.

♡ Instead of being rude and telling you to stop, he instead asks you what song you are listening to.

♡ You freeze for a second. Were you being loud? You didn't notice.

♡ You show him your phone screen with a kind smile.

♡ "It's kinda cheesy."

♡ "I wouldn't know," he replies quietly. There's a moment in the conversation where you can tell he wanted to add something. So you just stare at him, squinting your eyes and waiting for him to continue.

♡ He finishes: "Can we listen together?"

ISHIMARU KIYOTAKA

❥ "I'm punk." You first told him. He thought it was abnormal. That rebellious music, uncultured clothing, and unjust makeup styles made him scared!

❥ It took a while for you to stop caring so much about wearing headphones around you.

❥ Usually, you'd secretly bob your head to the melody and try not to take his attention up too much.

❥ That became tiring.

❥ "What is playing?" He asks, looking down at you as you sit at your desk.

❥ "My music."

❥ "I was under the impression that you were punk."

❥ You lean back into the chair, crossing your arms. "I am. This is punk music, Taka."

❥ His face heats up in embarrassment, but only a little bit. He has no other response except to bow and apologize to you. It makes you laugh. A lot.

MONDO OOWADA

❣ He's a metalhead. Definitely.

❣ And he's pretty elitist about it considering bikers practically set up the creation for the subculture.

❣ You didn't play your music around him because you were shy. It was mostly because you know he'd judge it.

❣ He just happened to wake up early one day and walk into the kitchen as you were playing your music.

❣ "What is this? Pop." He scoffs and digs his head into the fridge.

❣ "Punk babe. You know this."

❣ "If there's no double bass pedal then I don't want it."

HIFUMI YAMADA

ღ Even if you played your music around him, it's not like he would even notice.

ღ He gets distracted rather easily.

ღ It's usually after a long day of work that he tries to take interest in the things you do, as well.

ღ You're cooking dinner, swaying your hips when he comes up behind you.

ღ "This sounds quite spectacular!" He announces.

ღ It scares you, but you don't let it show. His words even process in your head late.

ღ "You like it?" You spin around, excited. Your heart is pounding in your chest.

ღ "It is very catchy." He says plainly before looking off to see what you are cooking.

ღ Usually, he would find himself picking up something instant. But you take care of him. Help him focus. And give him good music to listen to.

CHIHIRO FUJISAKI

✿ There wasn't really any hiding that came with being with him.

✿ He was always ready to listen to whatever you put on.

✿ You left the room, for a second, just to change into pajamas. When you came back, your punk music was playing on the speaker.

��� And he was bobbing his head to it.

✿ "Do you like it?" You ask, voice almost in a whisper.

✿ "It's very unique. I haven't heard anything like it!"

✿ It was a relief to hear him say that. You would be embarrassed if he didn't like it.

[eldritchsurveys]

969.

5k Survey LIX

3001. What is your half-birthday? >> November 28.

3002. When is your un-birthday? >> The other 363 days of the year. 3003. Do you like movies about: time travel? the 80's? drugs? crazy people? halucinations? aeroplanes? death? life? the meaning of life? fate? >> Movies about any of these things have the potential to be interesting to me. 3004. If you said yes to any of the above you should see Donnie Darko. If you HAVE seen it, what'd you think? >> I’ve seen Donnie Darko a few times, actually. I like it a lot. 3005. If you were going to write a book what would it be about? >> I have no ideas for a book.

3006. Is radio obsolete? >> It’s still in use, isn’t it? So, no. 3007. Do you feel like you are entitled to have things without working for them? >> I don’t feel entitled to anything.

3008. If yes than why do you believe you feel this way? >> --- 3009. If no, have you noticed that a lot of people around you feel this way? >> I really don’t notice that, no. 3010. If yes than why do you believe they feel this way? >> --- 3011. "An eight track sterio, a color tv in every room and a half a pievce of dope everyday. That's the american dream, nigga'" How do you feel about the above quote? >> I don’t feel anything about it. 3012. What is it from? >> I assume it’s from either an old hip-hop song or one of those hood movies made in the eighties or nineties.  3013. What year is it from? >> *shrug* Probably the late seventies or eighties (a movie made in the nineties can be set at any time). 3014. Do you believe that you will someday be famous? >> No. 3015. What is YOUR IDEA of success? >> I don’t have an idea of it because I don’t care about the concept. 3016. Do you believe that you will be successful? >> I literally do not care. 3017. Will you be successful without hard work? >> --- 3018. What brings you bad luck? >> I assume “bad luck” is mostly randomness. Is it true that you: 3019. Claim to be goth, punk, prep, emo or any other lable? >> I call myself “goth” and “metalhead”, because those seem to describe my preferences pretty well without having to go into an insane amount of detail. 3020. Claim that your opinion is RIGHT? >> No, because no opinion is “right”. Facts are the things that you’d call “right” or “wrong” depending on their validity; an opinion is just a subjective interpretation of events. 3021. claim that your religion is RIGHT? >> --- 3022. Claim to be a fan of a band when you really only like a few songs? >> If I only like a few songs and I dislike the other songs, then nah. But if I only know a few songs and I deeply love those songs and am reasonably sure that the rest of their music would have a similar effect, but I just haven’t listened to their whole oeuvre, then I feel like “fan” is still appropriate. 3023. Do ANYTHING to fit in or be accepted by ANYONE? >> Well, duh. 3024. REFUSE to listen to the ideas or thoughts of others? >> No, that’d be false. 3025. tell others to shut up? >> I rarely tell anyone to shut up seriously. I always say it in a joking manner, like when Sparrow is obviously about to make a horrendous dad joke lmao. 3026. say I HATE (insert any band)? >> I don’t hate any bands, so, no. 3027. say I HATE (insert anything)? >> Yeah, there are other things I hate. 3028. Only appreciate certain things that you LIKE? >> What? 3029. like only one style of music? >> False. 3030. like only one style of clothes? >> False. 3031. hate a style of music? >> Nope, I don’t hate any styles of music. Not caring to listen to it isn’t hatred. 3032. hate life? >> No. 3033. Is it true that you: 3034. don't listen when parents, elders or authorities talk? >> I listen when people talk unless I just don’t care about what they’re talking about. 3035. do everything parents, elders and authoritys tell you? >> --- 3036. do things or want things because it looked cool on mtv? >> LOL nothing on MTV looks cool these days. 3037. hate everyone? >> No. 3038. hate everything? >> No. 3039. hate disco? >> Hell no, disco fucking owns. 3040. hate rap? >> Nah, I’ve long recovered from my internalised racism. 3041-3045 These question is for the guys You are at her home with her. Both of you have drank a little wine, enough to loosen the inhibitions while not getting tipsy. You have snugled on the couch and it's a good time for bed. You've been romantic, but you've not made any big moves on her. You're not sure if you are up to a night of love making or even if she's in the mood. She goes to the bedroom to put on something more comfortable... When she returns she is wearing an outfit that looks great on her and you notice that she has her hands tied in front of her, with a scrunchee... She stands in front of you and giggles nerviously. You search for words to express how you feel, but before you can get any words out she gets on her knees in front of you and reachs out to hold your hand with both of hers. Your eyes find hers... 3041. How do you react to this? >> This question isn’t for me because I would never be in this situation, period. For multiple reasons. 3042. What message do you think she is sending? 3043. What do you do next? 3044. Is this a good way for her to approach her fantasy with you? 3045. If not, what would be a better way for her to approach you about wanting to be controled during sex(consider that just outright talking about it might be hard for her)? 3046-3050 These questions is for the girls

You are at his home with him. Both of you have drank a little wine, enough to loosen the inhibitions while not getting tipsy. You have snugled on the couch and it's a good time for bed. You've been romantic, but you've not made any big moves on him. You're not sure if you are up to a night of love making or even if he's in the mood.

He goes to the bedroom to put on something more comfortable... When he returns she is wearing an outfit that looks great on him. He sits next to you. You kiss and kiss. You move your hands down his body to his chest and start unbuttoning his shirt but he stops you and whispers seductively..'A good slave unbuttons them with her teeth..and you do want to be my slave, don't you?' 

3046. What do you do? >> Jesus fuck. What a waste of a survey segment lmao 3047. How do you react to this? 3048. What message do you think he is sending? 3049. Is this a good way for him to approach his fantasy with you? 3050. If not, what would be a better way for him to appraoch you about wanting to be in control during sex(consider that just outright talking about it might be hard for him)?

[lovemesomesurveys]

What would you call your body type? Stick thin? *shrug*

Are you a morning person? Nooo, I sleep in late. I’m still crabby regardless of when I get up; though, and still feel tired and unrested and in serious need of coffee.

Have you ever been to Target? Countless times. I love Target.

Do you like iced tea? Sure. I couldn’t tell you the last time I had any, though.

When is the next time you’ll be at work? I don’t have a job.

Do you have a savings account? No.

Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Yes.

What color bedsheets are currently on your bed? They’re like an off white color.

Have you ever been to Disney World? If so, how many times have you been? Nope. I’ve been to Disneyland several times, though.

Does grammar and capitalization mean anything to you? It absolutely does.

Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? I’m not the best wrapper ever, but I do enjoy doing it.

Do you have a dirty clothes hamper in your room? Yes.

What would you say is your favorite television show? I have several.

Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? My family’s big holiday dinners got a lot smaller over the years, sadly. Now it’s just my parents, brother, and I. I love that, too, but I miss when more of my family was able to get together. Is your vision good? With my glasses on, yeah. ha.

Is there any piece of jewelry you’re constantly wearing? Nope.

What is one thing you desire as of now? To be able to fast forward through summer and also get back to some normalcy. I know things will be different now, but it’d be nice to get to a place where we didn’t have the fear of catching a highly contagious virus looming over our heads. Will it ever get to that point?

What kind of phone do you have? An iPhone XR.

If you could move anywhere, where would you choose? Somewhere with cooler weather year round. A place where you experience actual autumns and winters and not long, miserable summers.

Do you blog a lot, if at all? This is my blog.

Is your present hair color, natural? No.

What makes you the most angry when it comes to people? There’s a few things that come to mind, but I don’t want to get into that.  

Describe your current outfit? Black leggings and a black shirt. My usual attire. 

What was the last thing you ordered online? A couple of shirts for my mom and I. I want to order some of Bath & Body Works’ beachy scented hand soaps and body sprays as well. At least I can smell like the beach since I can’t go to one. :(

Have you ever felt as though you were drifting apart from a best friend? Yeah, and I did.

What color are your eyes? Brown.

Have you ever worn color contacts? Nope. I haven’t worn any contacts, just the idea of putting them in my eye and taking them out freaks me out.

What’s the best thing about a hug? They can be nice and comforting. They can also be awkward. It just depends. 

Biggest fear? Losing my loved ones, death, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life....

If you have a significant other, how long have you been together? I’m single.

Do you know any genuinely friendly people? Yes.

Do you buy your friends gifts? I bought them birthday and Christmas gifts. What was the last thing you plugged in? My phone to the charger.

How old are you? 30.

What color headphones do you own? They’re black.

Have you ever shopped on Urban Outfitters? Yeah, just a couple of times. They’re way overpriced.

Where do you buy the majority of your clothing? BoxLunch, Hot Topic, and Kohl’s. 

Would you rather wear necklaces or earrings? Earrings.

Do you consider yourself fortunate? I am in some ways.

Do you enjoy watching fights? Nooo.

Have you ever been in a physical fight? No.

Do you tend to talk badly about people? If I do it’s usually about people that have done stupid or ridiculous things that I hear or read about in the news. 

Where are your parents as of now? They’re in bed asleep.

Does your computer cooperate most of the time? Yeah, I haven’t had any problems. It’s only about 3 years old.

Does your family have any cheesy traditions? Sure, but I love ‘em.

When did you last go to a book store? Sometime last year.

What’s the closest book store where you live? Barnes & Noble. How much money do you have on you right now? None.

Favorite personal feature? I like my hair sometimes like after it’s been recently colored and styled. 

Are you wearing make up at the moment? Nope.

Favorite television channel? MTV, E!, The Hallmark Channel, ID.

Describe any piercings or tattoos you might have? I just have my earlobes pierced. No tattoos. 

Have you ever been fired from a job? I’ve never had a job.

Are you currently losing a best friend? No.

Describe the worst day of your life: Let’s not.

Do you play any video games? Yeah. Currently, I’ve been super into Animal Crossing: New Horizons.

Would you say you hate anyone? Apart from myself, no.

Do you think freckles are cute? Sure.

Last time you went to the mall? Back in early February. 

Name something that’s your favorite color: One of my favorite colors is rose gold and I have a really soft throw blanket that I love in that color.

Have you been to Red Lobster before? Yeah, several times. Haven’t been there in years, though. I’m not a seafood fan at all, but they had a delicious creamy cajun pasta. 

Do you judge by appearances? >> Judge what, exactly? There is some information I process through appearance, yeah – like, I assume that a person wearing a Behemoth t-shirt and black jeans with a chain wallet is probably a metalhead. Or that a person with impeccable hair and nails and makeup is probably really fussy about their appearance. The thing is, these are still things that I could possibly be wrong about, but it’d be harmless. <<< 

Do you follow a certain religion? Yes, Christianity. 

Who is your role model, if you had to choose? My mom.

Would you rather have nice hair or lips? Hair.

What are you most self conscious about? A lot of things.

Do you have any family members who live out of town? Yeah.

Do you consider yourself short? Yes.

What room are you in? Mine.

Hoodies or jackets? Hoodies.

Are you outside a lot? Ha, no. I’ve been a hermit crab years before the quarantine/lockdown this year, but that definitely has made it worse.

Have you ever been dumped via text message? Yes.

Do you like dreamcatchers? They’re pretty to look at, but I don’t believe they do anything. 

What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? I don’t have one.

Do you hate repetitive people and things? >> Er… like, not as a rule, I guess. But there are some repetitive things I hate, like certain sounds. <<< Yeah, same. And my life is also very repetitive.

Do you think autocorrect is a blessing or curse? It can helpful and annoying at times.

Do you believe in any particular curses? No.

Ever play a Ouija board? No. I don’t mess with stuff like that.

What movie scares you the most? There really isn’t one anymore. I love horror films. Some do still creep me out, but there isn’t one that has messed me up or anything. There’s no lasting effect after I watch them.

What was your bedtime as a child? Probably like 8 and then probably 9 and 10 as I got older. 

Reason why your favorite holiday is your favorite: I just love Christmastime.

Do you work with any close friends? I don’t have a job.

Do you consider yourself spoiled? You could say that. I hate that word, though. I feel it has such a negative connotation to it, like a spoiled brat. I was never Veruca Salt or something. My parents didn’t give me whatever wanted, but they always made sure I had what I needed and went above and beyond when they could. My brother and I were good kids and they rewarded us with nice things. I’m very fortunate that they still provide for me and I’m very, very appreciative.

Do you listen to any country music? Yeah.

Favorite high school teacher: My sophomore history teacher was really cool. He reminded me of Rob Dyrdek a lot looks and personality wise. I also remember that he was a huge fan of RHCP and had them playing everyday before class. 

Do you ever get drunk? Not anymore, but I have many times back when I used to drink.

Have you ever had highlights before? I had them for several years.

Favorite number: 8.

Do you still sleep with any stuffed animals? I have 4 that sit on my bed. What is your biggest regret in life? I don’t want to get into that stuff.

Would you say you think you have a mental disorder of some kind? I do have a some mental disorders.

Are you normally an independent person? I used to be more independent than I have been these past few years. I’ve been very dependent these past few years. 

Do you have any paintings? I do.

What is one clothing fad you wish never existed? I don’t care. 

Do you like to be organized? Yes and I used to be pretty organized, but that’s changed these past few years as well. 

Have you ever failed a class before? I had to retake a math course one in community college. Funny how I took it with a different professor and actually did really well.

Ever been judged because of your weight? I’m underweight and people have their own assumptions about it. What is your favorite breakfast cereal? The sugary bad ones, ha.

Ever had a wish come true? I don’t believe in wishes.

Do you regret meeting any of your exes? No. 

Do you own any coloring books? Yes. Adult coloring books became a big thing a few years ago and I got really into it. 

What’s the meanest thing someone’s called you? I’ve said the meanest, cruelest things to myself.

Have you ever bullied someone? No.

Do you ever watch Lifetime? Growing up my mom and I used to love watching Lifetime movies. We’d binge watch ‘em every weekend. Now we’ll catch a movie every once in awhile and kind of get hooked again, but not very often.

Ever tried to intentionally sabotage someone’s grade? Wow, no.

Do you own any brown clothing? I have a brown pair of leggings.

What color are your walls painted? White.

Last thing you drank: Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink.

Have you ever seen a tornado in person? Noooo.

Do you have an inground pool at your house? No.

What is the first digit of your phone number? What’s the prettiest town you’ve been to? There’s been a few.

Do you tend to sleep a lot? When I do sleep, yes. I have a messed up sleep schedule and it’s hard for me to fall asleep, but when I do I’ve been sleeping a lot. I’d nap a lot everyday, too, if I allowed myself to, but for some reason I rarely do.

Silver or gold jewelry? I like both.

Do you sometimes celebrate holidays early? Well, for Christmas we’ve done something the day or so before with family. 

Have you ever been in love? Yes. 

What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? Everything my family has given and done for me.

When was the last time you showered? A couple days ago.

Would you consider yourself attractive? No.

Has anyone made you mad today? Not as of now.

Favorite smell: Sigh, I’ve listed this too many times.

Are you afraid of insects? YES. ALL of them.

Do you have any children? Nooo.

If so, what are their names?

Would ever consider having children in the future? I don’t want to have children.

Have you ever lived on a farm? No.

Ever played any sports? No.

Do both of your parents have jobs? Yes.

Where is the best place you’ve been on vacation to? I love all the vacations I’ve been on.

Are you afraid people won’t accept you? That’s not something I’m concerned about right now. Haven’t been the last few years. And that’s not at all because I’m confident or something... very much the opposite. 

Are you, for the most part, an honest person? Yes.

Did you make prank phone calls as a child? My friends and I did that sometimes in middle school. :X So dumb.

Do you like to make donations? Yeah.

What is your current ringtone? One of the ones that came with the phone.

Meet anyone from your past lately? No.

Have you ever called a teen suicide line? No.

Have you ever caught something on fire? Yes. Food in the microwave and in the oven. Also the tips of my hair once when blowing out birthday candles... 

Ever been obsessed with a show? Yeah. That’s what tends to happen when I’m into a show.

What type of perfume or cologne do you use? A body spray from Bath & Body Works called Into the Night. I want to get some of their beachy scents now.

What’s the last book you read? I’m currently reading, The Girl and the Hunt by AJ Rivers.

Dream career: I have no idea.

Have you ever climbed a mountain before? No.

At what age do you plan to get married? I don’t.

Ever been in a car accident? No.

[lydiaandarry]

{The Murder of Alternative Character Design}

Hello there!

    My name is Arabella, but you can call me Arry if easier. You may be looking at the title and feeling a bit confused by it. “The Murder of Alternative Character Design” may be quite a confusing title and leave others wondering what the hell it even means. But that is why I am here to spread awareness about this horrible phenomenon that is going on in recent pop culture. Especially with superheroes. ‘Alternative Character Design’ to me is when a character (usually a superhero) looks different from the traditional standard of the type of character they represent. I can name quite a couple of alternatively dressed superheroes who get made into more traditional wear or boring wear in their live-action debut. So let’s invade the topic!

(The poor costume design recently...)

    I don’t know if you have noticed but the quality of costume design and the importance of comic accuracy has lowered in demand. It seems now like live-action adaptations of a comic book character just throw whatever they can to seem “different” or “out there”. Yet it murders the costume design to begin with. Recently in “Birds of Prey”, one of my favorite DC female characters ‘Black Canary’ has had her main outfit leaked on set. And there are no fishnets to be seen or a bodysuit or anything that represents the character in the comics. I personally love Black Canary for that reason with how different she looks and how she isn’t afraid to wear leather, fishnets and reveal skin, things that could be seen as hooker-ish. She rocks and makes it look stylish and badass. Yet in Birds of Prey, it seems like they went for a more ‘preppy’ approach where nothing about her screams ‘Black Canary’ but perhaps the colors. Even then, black and yellow in DC and especially to non-comic book readers just screams Batman. Netflix recently released a show called “The Umbrella Academy” and I don’t really know much about the comics except that it was created by My Chemical Romance babe Gerard Way who I grew up listening to his music. Even after they broke up. It saddened me to see the complete difference from the comics to the actual live-action adaptation. The art is nearly killed with the inaccuracy as Allison Hargreeves doesn’t have her awesome purple-blue hair. Klaus didn't have his awesome skull shirt, ouija pendant necklace and signature bright orange hair. Diego’s long, blond hair is completely disregarded despite the lack of longer hair on dudes in superhero shows. All of this is disregarded for a more preppy, modern and “up to date” look that kills the character design that made the comics look so different in the first place. And it’s Gerard Way’s creation for crying out loud! He was part of an alternative group! They didn't look nearly as normal as the people in the show look. Even Klaus looks normal compared to how these people used to look. It’s changed for diversity and relatability to other characters but where’s my representation? Where’s my second personality’s representation? And this isn’t just on DC’s end. Marvel does this as well with my favorite X-Men character, Kurt Wagner, a.k.a Nightcrawler. Who seriously wore a Thriller jacket in X-Men Apocalypse. It was the worse outfit I have ever seen on Nightcrawler. Nightcrawler in the comics is basically Gothic. He wears dark clothes, looks kind of scary to the point where people fear him on a daily basis, and has hints of red here and there. The usage of color in Kurt’s design is usually creative and done justice. Now I could understand if they were going for a more X-Men Evolution Kurt but even then, the outfit was better and Kurt is rarely seen as blue in that outfit because when he is blue, it is shown to hardly work with being blue.The colors don’t go well with his skin. Also, his personality is a lot different to X-Men Apocalypse’s but we are talking about character design not writing. And can someone please show Legion FX how to dress punk people? Don’t say David Haller is punk when you hardly dress him as punk.

(Why is this an issue?)

     So, why is this an issue? You may ask me when reading this post. They’re characters, Arry. They aren’t always going to be comic-book accurate. Why are you so upset over all of this? As an artist, to me, character design and clothing choices is just as important as personality. Appearance is the first thing you see of anyone and it can say a lot. You express yourself through your appearance more than you think. When creating a character, I always make sure that I have the character design down pack. It’s my favorite thing to do. I am not against preppier clothing or modernizing things. I understand that this is something that has to be taken into consideration when taking a character and placing them in live-action. There are some things that are too difficult to carry over. But why make a live-action adaptation of something if you are not going to use the version that everyone who reads the comics is familiar with? What’s wrong with having abnormally colored hair? I get that diversity is a hot topic right now and it’s amazing that everyone is getting representation in one way or another. But diversity goes deeper than just skin tone. I have never seen a true alternative like character outside of cartoons that was done right. And I have tons of favorite goth girls in cartoons (Gwen & Crimson from Total Drama, Sam Manson from Danny Phantom, Mandy from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, Triana Orpheus from Venture Bros, Jinx & Raven from Teen Titans, The Hex Girls from Scooby Doo, Rogue from X-Men Evolution, Joan of Arc from Clone High, Marceline from Adventure Time, Marie from Ed, Edd, and Eddy.) the list goes on. These aren’t characters you see in live-action though. These aren’t female characters that are even considered in live-action or even superheroes for that matter. And comic books are incredible for the reason that you don’t have to conform to normality. You can make any character you want. That’s why we have such unique characters in comic books and even in cartoons. Justice Friends has a colorful witch named Miss Spell and Valhallen is a metalhead. This is one of the many reasons why Neil Gaiman has been picky and harsh over making his Sandman comics into live-action because Sandman features so many subgenres of styles. Goth and punk, mostly. These characters aren’t represented in live-action adaptations. They are forgotten about or normalized. Kurt Wagner is a background character and they still couldn’t dress him how he is in the comics. The Umbrella Academy normalized its characters a lot in clothing choices. And it’s sad. There are people who dress like this and should be able to see themselves in at least one superhero. Kurt Wagner teaches us that not all goths are gloomy and depressed or dangerous. He’s a goth with a pure soul and good heart. Sandman comics make Death and Dream and Delirium seem normal, like they don’t have to change to be liked or good-hearted. They are who they are. The Umbrella Academy basically showed that you could wear abnormal costumes, have colored hair, have longer hair for a dude and still be an awesome superhero. X-Men has tons of abnormally colored hair characters that rarely make it onto the big screen, they are usually brought to small screen like Blink and Polaris in The Gifted. And in Legion FX, the most evil and villainous character is a punk. David Haller is not a good person on Legion nor can he be considered an anti-hero anymore. He is a despicable being with a god complex. Punks already get the bad rep of being dangerous, angry, and mean-spirited. Do we really need a character in mainstream media to be punk while also had killed multiple people and raped his girlfriend? That’s not progressive, that’s moving backwards. Superboy doesn’t even have his leather jacket, leather gloves and black circle sunglasses anymore with his undercut. He’s just narrowed down to a tee shirt and jeans most of the time.

(How can we change this issue?)

     I am not exactly sure. I know it seems kind of lame to like… bring up an issue and then not offer a solution. I feel like the best way to fix this problem is to hopefully notify costume designers that the world is in need of different styles. Their designs are not “out there” or “different”, as the comic book characters designs were already out there and they completely changed them. I am a huge judge when it comes to costume and character designs in live-action adaptations and I may make a post on why that is. I feel like we need to open our eyes to newer looks. To give some representation to those who dress differently from others. The issues that I brought up are already done and over with. Bad representation for punks as evil and villainous. The Umbrella Academy normalized every character, even Klaus. And hopefully Marvel can give us the Nightcrawler that we deserve as Fox no longer has the rights. All we can do is hope that this comic inaccuracy is a pasting phase and that creators will soon give the outcasts a voice and a chance for better representation. To stop being the villains or bad guys.

     This was a short rant that I felt had to be done and I had to explain some issues. I hope you enjoyed my post and agree with some points that I made. If you have any questions on the matter, feel free to message me. If you like this post and want to see more like this, feel free to follow our Tumblr! And if you liked the post, feel free to reblog and like. I post every Wednesday and Saturday! I will see you on Wednesday. Peace out!

[mulletfriend]

hey!! do u have designs for the other kids yet? id be interested in seeing what u do with it (like backstory, presumably humaned stuck?)

oh, like, looks-wise they’d just look like my regular designs mostly, except for the clothing? roxy wears this hoodie and basically school high school hoodies are a Big Thing at least in warsaw, so the kids and the trolls go to rival junior high schools and they wear their hoodies a lot…..

i don’t think i’ll be writing anything/doing a comic lmao it’s mostly a Fun Thing to torment my friends with

when it comes to like, backstories, they all live in warsaw bc im unimaginative lmao and will write what i know. specifics under the cut bc its gonna get long

linkk in case tumblr is being Bad again (x)

john: janek egbert - he loves this dude and websites like kwejk or wykop….. or komixxy…. a big polish youtuber stan overall…. (of which i cant name more than two so rip) one of those sheltered kids that doesn’t go outside facebook. downloads apps with jokes on them when he’s like 11 and memorises all of them.

dave: dawid przechadzalski - listens to gang albanii ironically and runs his school’s meme page, wears adidas ironically and smokes russian cigarettes to seem cool. remixes disco polo to sound bearable.

jade: jadźka harlska - collects świerzaki and słodziaki (which are collectible plushies you get for spending enough money at a certain supermarket) instead of squiddles. big maria sklodowska-curie stan.

rose: róża londaj - strong opinons on mickiewicz vs słowacki. follows demotywatory. had a blogspot blog filled with edgy poetry and short stories. one of the goths that like to freak out old ladies on public transport

jane: janka krocka - an heirress to wedel. loves ojciec mateusz so much. she has this 1930s eastern accent?? i cant find a good clip but it’s basically much softer with different ls, kinda latvian-sounding. gets all of her fandom content from pinterest

jake: kuba angielski - boy oh boy does he love polish comedies. has seen every shitty seasonal comedy that’s in theatres. can quote them. will quote them. won’t be bothered by the dead silence that follows. one of the people that gets furious when you tell them you haven’t seen “one of the classics of polish cinema”. has the same accent as jane. has parents over in england so he lives with his grandma.

roxy: roksana “ksenia” londaj - runs a facebook fandom page. does bad fanfic translations on wattpad. writes slowackiewicz fanfiction. uses the #polishgirl and #warszawskalala hashtags on every one of her photos on instagram. she was the first one in primary school to get one of those chunky colourful smartphones (idk i think they were samsung galaxies? like almost everyone had them at some point) and wore 321324321 charms on it.

dirk: darek przechadzalski - writes his own bad polish rap. is in like 8234901230 fake-deep discussion groups on facebook, constantly gets kicked out for being condescending and weird. one of the dudes that’s way too much into the 17th century history, though he is critical of it and has written many essays on the reasons why it was actually bad. still owns a historical replica of the swords used then.

i’m not done with the trolls yet, but basically teresa pyrop (tz) also runs a high school meme page and loves sedzia anna maria wesolowska and also ojciec mateusz, wiktoria szerkit (vriska) is one of those ““metalhead”“ junior high schoolers that just radiate grease and will judge you based on your opinion of metallica’s black album, sollux kapturski for whomst i font have a first name yet is a nonsensopedia mod and karkat aka kacper wantas watches m jak miłość and also na dobre i na zle and all the other terrible telenovelas im forgetting and writes essays on them on his blogspot blog and also loves those angsty quotes pages that all seem to now be deactivated but were everywhere around 2012. i may have given this too much thought.

if anyone wants to join the fun i’d love to see any other hell content for this au. i may end up drawing the kids but we’ll see.

[ladyofmind]

August is over? Recap time...

First things first... Between Patreon and other tasks, I dropped off towards the end of the month... I’m sure you saw the #CharactersHell board that took my time and, most importantly, brain stuffs.

We have, however, organized it so that future boards should not be as hard as the first one.

As long as it is as well received as it’s other game, by the same @M_arbanassi (on Twiter) #CharactersHell should have just as amazing a community as #CharactersTell. Tell focuses on the characters every week. Hell is a monthly board covering a little bit more, including us authors.

Basically, those two tags are my guaranteed game plays for the foreseeable future. The question will be what other ones will I be playing this coming September?

While I ponder that, here are the old answers...

#wipwordsearch  AKA  #RedLettersTeasers

1- Sly had a way of #schooling his features so that no one could read him. If Gus was happy about it, he could be happy for Gus. Still… "But why do some of the women have pointy weapons?"

2- He followed her lead carefully, since they were not in his place, & he made sure to lower only his top half. They could stare at his jean clad #back side for all he cared.

3- Rolling the blanket over herself like a sleeping bag, Tweet felt for her note #book in the dark, finding where she left the pen in the page, half heartedly scribbling notes she hoped she would understand in the margins.

4- That she would have to cover with make up, and that would have to work for the #bags under her eyes too.

5- At least two of the biggest #gossips of Soul were furiously, but covertly, trying to get her attention.

6- She still needed him around, and Malta would miss her #crush too much.

7- The kindnesses came back ten fold, as Nate catered Martin's musical event, with the chocolate man making a lifelike red guitar that shined as if it had a fresh coat of pearlescent #paint.

8- His long black hair fell to one side, and hardly covered any of the piercing or tattoos, which covered his arms and neck in a sea of darker #colors.

9- Nira wasn't the only one #catching on to the language from exposure.

10- "You don't have to read it, if you don't like it." Woods' movements slowed, as he scrunched #up the material of his shirt.

11- She wasn't by any means an #expert, but one knew quickly which ones felt like sucking lemons, due to the way they pulled her face of their will, and which ones she might want to drink again.

12- The point was made, she was #playing with house money, and she would win.

13- Seemed this new Soulful was #true to it's name, and proving more interesting with each visit.

14- NO WINGS

15- Remmy rolled the window down, and waved at Woods, a sigh escaping him. "#Hurry up slow poke. I think you should be offended, but that's my opinion that you don't always listen to talking.

16- NO ESSENCE

17- Remmy was getting #sick of repeating himself. "Just go talk to Tweet…."

18- By the simple look of a wedged arm and crumpled leg, she knew to #avert her gaze, that seeing the parts of limbs was close enough.

19- Spoiler if posted SLASH

20- Not that this was any type of pet, it was somewhere between a tiger and #house cat in size.

21- NO CASCADE

22- NO LITE

23- "Seems like you have a musical connection with everyone you meet." Her words had been a double-edged #sword to him.

24- One #building caught her eye, with its sheer size and stain glass details.

25- Plus if he loitered too long, he'd be late to #class.

26- Once #inside, she showered and found herself staring into her closet.

27- She needed to remember to encourage them all to have lives #outside the bar.

28- Staff loyalty and respect was next on the ever #growing list.

29- Even nearly #falling onto a guy and barely keeping her red rubies caged looked classy.

30- Angus and Scotty had the good sense to first agree with Woods, and then do their darnedest to get Brandon to #leave while he was still in one piece.

31- They were out in the public, it was #chilly, he was sure there was some law about it, and was she ready for what she was trying to do?

#CharactersTell

1/8- Woods back again! The band and I thought it was time to talk again, especially since this month is art themed, and we are artists *someone snickers* Don't start that again mate… We're glad to be here in… (The Red Letters series)

2/8- Woods- Of course! We're musicians, so that is our favorite.

Brandon- "Women too"

W- "A fine bird's form can be a masterpiece yes, with legs for miles and plump shapes."

3/8- Woods- "Yeah mate, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, couple of car places. It's my passion, so why not go see it in a museum too if you can?"

4/8- Woods- "We play rock music, but I have listened to all kinds in my life. Never know what will inspire that next song of your own."

5/8- Woods- *laughs while the boys chuckle* "I prefer relaxed movies, in the sense that thinking too hard kills the buzz. Ain't nothing too relaxed about the movies I watch, especially if we just finished filming it."

6/8- Woods caught elbowing the blokes on the couch with him. "Unless this is Play boy, the answer to that question has to be music." *preoccupied by trying to help cover Brandon's mouth.*

7/8- Woods- "Maybe you haven't heard of us, but we are already famous for being a band. Tour regularly, another album in the works, so on and so forth. That's my legacy. Rock and roll lifer."

8/8- "Thank god! Woods doesn't shut up. Brandon the lead singer and better showman ready to take control of this band interview…"

9/8- Brandon- "Depends what you're talking about. Realistic women, but their ink can be anything. Just better not be ugly where I have to stare at. Say no to cutesy tramp stamps."

10/8- Brandon- "Sure, action movies are my thing. Love a good Bond girl if you know what I mean…"

11/8- Brandon- "The only art I understand is music. Beyond that, I don't need to fake it, I just don't care."

12/8- Brandon- "Designer all the way. You don’t get on sexy lists wearing ill-fitting bargain basement bullsh*t. Plus the free clothes or marketing money isn't bad when you're famous."

13/8- Brandon- "Women. Enough said."

14/8- Brandon- "Certainly not gentle, in any way. Fair in music consideration, but mostly critical everywhere else."

15/8- "Hey, you want to talk to me too? I'm Remmy, just the friendly security to Woods and occasional band wrangler when the manager is busy." *tips fedora in greeting, stepping up to stand behind Woods on the couch*

16/8- Remmy- "I like visiting museums for my hobbies yes. Then again, it depends on how you define art, as this one puts away food like no ones business, and this one has the habit of being the bands lightweight. That’s weird place art no one asks for…" *taps BGC*

17/8- Remmy- "After listening to this bunch bang around all night and day, I like to listen to a smooth station, or at least some smoother oldies."

18/8- Remmy- "Is it any different than watching the headbangers? Always wonder if they wake up with whiplash the next morning…"

19/8- Remmy- "Besides these guys? Not exactly. Plan on going to see someone and some music will play its part soon enough…"

20/8- Remmy- "My only art is information. Its how I keep Woods safe, keep the band life smooth and easy… Maybe in that way, I have picked up the juggling skill?"

21/8- Remmy- "What are you talking about? That's definitely the sort of question that skips over my head." *tips his fedora and straightens his bigger old school mod style jacket.*

22/8- *Silence until Remmy prods a man* "What? Oh yo! Tour life's been rough man, gotta get your zzz's in when you can. Especially when Remmy rattles on." *straightens up* "I'm Josh aka Angus, and this is Scotty the drummer" *Drums on Scotty's gut to wake him up too*

23/8- Josh-"Got new bass art, and tattoos. My wifey doesn't like me looking at much, or it's an earful."

Scotty-"Man at least you get to look. My wife won't even let me play drums in my house because of the baby. I get kicked out when it screams like a metalhead."

24/8- Josh & Scotty- "The Terminator Mockingbird T800 comes to mind." "Did you ever see the Heineken drums? Or the plastic video game fakeness?" *nudged by other band members before they accidentally speak in unison* "My wife."

29/8- *Both laugh, then Woods speaks for himself and Remmy* "Neither of us draw, and if we did, it would mostly be bollacks and bristols in Sharpies when the other passes out."

R-"It took a week to get the last one off  my chin…"

30/8- *Brandon talks over his bandmates* "There is a rather poorly done, wrong sided sort of bio out about me, but yes, I want more books about me, done CORRECTLY."

[rt8815]

Beethoven and The Doctor

I originally called this “Cupcakes and Confessions,” which I feel is a cringeworthy title, not that “Beethoven and The Doctor” is any better. Anyway…I also edited this and added a huge chunk at the end.

Just for clarification, this snippet and the one to follow take place October 12, 2018. The team celebrated Reid’s 24th birthday in S1E4, “Plain Sight,” which aired October 12, 2005. S7E11, “True Genius,” which aired January 18, 2012, had them belatedly celebrating Boy Wonder’s 30th birthday. I’m going with an October birthday for Reid because, well, duh. I’m also keeping his age ambiguous.

Stories don’t need to be told chronologically, so I’ll be jumping around a little. The next part will cover the party and provide a lovely segue to the actual start of Spencer and the OC’s relationship.

Finally: drawing isn’t my strong suit, but I felt that the fic needed something extra.

Word count: 2,058 (I’m long winded, sorry.) Proofread, hopefully no mistakes.

It was a bright, warm October morning in Washington, D.C. Penelope Garcia and Derek Morgan strode into the apartment building swiftly, the former with an air of sheer determination, the latter with one of mild trepidation.

“Baby Girl, I’m not so sure we should -”

“Shush, you,” Garcia interjected, playfully slapping Derek on the arm. “This. Is. Happening. I put a lot of thought into today’s festivities and he will have fun, even if it kills him.”

Morgan raised his arm in front of her, halting their climb up the stairs. He had a stern expression on his face. “Penelope, Reid said he didn’t want a huge fuss on his birthday,” he said reproachfully.

“Oh, he doesn’t know what he wants,” Garcia countered as she rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively.

Morgan released a heavy sigh, resignedly following the clickety-clack of Penelope’s ridiculously high heels when she resumed her journey up the staircase. “He did agree to dinner with everyone tonight, but as much as he’ll love spending time with us, it’ll also exhaust him. We know how overstimulated Reid gets – all that noise, the camera flashes, the crowd – he needs quiet time alone to prepare himself for that.”

They had reached Reid’s floor. Garcia paused on the landing before turning to face Morgan. She looked crestfallen and slightly ashamed of herself. “I know, you’re right,” she conceded, “I…but,” she pouted as she defiantly raised the platter in her hands, “…Doctor Who cupcakes.”

Morgan flashed his impossibly white smile. “I know, Mamma. I worry about him too. Let’s leave these at his door and we can text him so he knows they’re out here. That work for you?”

Garcia, however, wasn’t paying attention to him. “Shhh, can you hear that?”

Morgan listened for a second, then he caught it; somebody nearby was playing an electric guitar. More like making it sing. “They’re talented, whoever they are…ummm, is that…Beethoven?”

“Derek, it’s coming from Reid’s apartment.” They meandered towards the door, their heads tilted in curiosity, their hearts warmed by the performance. It had clearly been practiced to perfection, but not for a packed concert hall or a panel of judges.

No, this felt more…personal, more intimate. Morgan opened his mouth to say just that when Garcia interrupted his thoughts. “Hold on, Reid doesn’t play guitar, so how…oh, wait…” realization dawned on Garcia’s face as she broke into a devilish grin.

“Oh-ho-ho. Spencer, you naughty boy,” she giggled quietly, prompting Morgan to raise his eyebrows.

“What in the world are you on about, Penelope?”

“It’s McKinley, it has to be. I guess she took the day off work. Well, no wonder he didn’t wanna spend the day with us,” whispered Garcia, whose cheeks were now flushed with excitement.

Morgan’s eyes shifted from Garcia to the door while he processed her statement. “You mean the McKinley? Works at The Smithsonian McKinley? The one he’s been dating for almost a year?”

Penelope nodded in confirmation. “Ley’s also in a band; they sub for a couple of house bands around the city.”

Morgan chuckled admiringly, impressed with both this mystery woman and his kid brother. “All right, Pretty Boy! Get some,” he cheered quietly. “Man, I really need to keep in touch more; I’m missing a lot – too much.” In the background, the last couple notes of “Für Elise” rang through the air, quickly followed by lilting, if somewhat nervous, laughter.

“So, Doctor, what’s the verdict? Give me your honest review.” 

Reid took a moment to respond. “It’s not what I expected, but that was lovely, Kinley, thank you.” 

“You know, for someone whose career hinges in no small part on controlling your affect and demeanor, you’re surprisingly terrible at lying, Spencer,” McKinley admonished him. 

Outside the door, Derek snorted lightly. 

“What?! I’m not lying, Kinley,” Reid exclaimed, his voice rising an octave or two. 

“There it is! You’re using your squeaky voice! Always a dead giveaway.” 

“Squeaky voice? I do not have a – never mind. I meant what I said, McKinley.” 

Derek started shaking with silent laughter, while Penelope smirked proudly as she leaned against the doorframe. She had apparently borne witness to this type of exchange between the lovebirds before. 

“You’re hedging, and you know I don’t tolerate that. I’m a grown-ass woman, Spencer. I can handle constructive criticism. I welcome it, in fact. You’re censoring yourself in an attempt to spare my feelings, and that’s insulting. It’s unfair – to me and to you.” 

“You played beautifully,” Spencer reiterated. 

“But?” McKinley wouldn’t budge. Judging by the full minute of awkward silence, it appeared that Reid wouldn’t either. 

“Oh, she’s good,” Derek mouthed at Penelope, “and she calls him on his b.s. I like her already.” Garcia waved her hands dramatically. “Wait until you meet her tonight,” she gushed. 

“Okay,” Reid finally relented, “I don’t believe that classical music ought to be played on electric guitars – electric anything. The juxtaposition is too jarring. It feels…wrong. They shouldn’t mix, and I’m quite certain the composers would agree.” 

“Pffft, Beethoven totally would’ve been a metalhead,” McKinley declared. “Anyway, I understand; classical music and rock are to you what meat and sweet are to me. Bacon dipped in maple syrup? Ewww! And yet some people like the combination. Now I know to pull out my keyboard for certain songs.” 

“I didn’t want to sound ungrateful,” Reid mumbled apologetically. 

“You complimented me on how well I played, didn’t you?! We’re not required to enjoy all the same things because we’re dating. And Spencer, every day you show me how much you appreciate me.” 

“You must’ve worked on that for weeks, though, Kinley.” 

“Yeah, and you burned the midnight oil on that Edgar Allan Poe painting you gave me for my birthday. It’s unconventionally beautiful. The painting is very…you. That’s why I love it; that’s why I love you, Spencer Reid. You couldn’t be cookie cutter even if you tried.” 

Derek and Penelope swore they felt the heat from Reid’s blush oozing through the door. 

When Reid replied, he sounded pleasantly breathless. “That’s one of the reasons I love you, too. You’re unapologetically different.” 

Another silence fell, except this time a sweet bashfulness filled the apartment. 

“They’re exchanging ‘I love yous’ now?! Yes!” Penelope whisper-screamed, punching the air. “My OTP grows stronger by the day. Derek, I can see it now,” she murmured dreamily, placing her hand on his chest. “They’ll have a spring wedding. JJ, Em, Tara, and I will help with the planning. We’ll be bridesmaids! You’ll be the best man.” Garcia did a little happy dance, then suddenly gasped. “And baby geniuses! Maybe we’ll get a goddaughter this time!” 

“Just be cool, baby, damn,” Morgan snickered. 

“Oh goodness,” McKinley’s voice echoed from within the apartment, “look at the time, Spencer! It’s nearly 9:00! We need to hustle if we’re gonna finish everything before we have to head over to Rossi’s.” Morgan and Penelope could hear the two moving around, packing up her guitar, setting mugs in the sink. 

“That’s our cue to leave, Penelope. You know what, let’s take these cupcakes to the front desk. If we drop them at the door and text Reid now…well, it’s bad enough that we eavesdropped, but if he finds out, he’ll be embarrassed.”

 “Agreed. I’ll write a note saying we figured he was still asleep and we didn’t want to disturb him.” 

A few minutes later, the two were walking arm-in-arm around the corner to Derek’s rental car, Garcia enthusiastically discussing the details of the party she and JJ had organized, and wondering out loud if McKinley had slept over at Reid’s.

“So, you ready for this shindig?” McKinley asked through Spencer’s bedroom door. Ever the gentleman, he had graciously offered his room to her so she could change clothes, while he changed out in the living room.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” replied Spencer. “I mean, it’ll be fun – family, friends, good food – but I hope Garcia didn’t go too far overboard…again.”

McKinley pulled an amused face. “‘Hope she didn’t go overboard’? Have you met Penelope Garcia? That’s the only way she knows how to do,” laughed McKinley, checking herself in the mirror one last time. “Are you decent?”

“Yeah,” Spencer answered, “just putting on my tie.” Penelope insisted that everyone wear semi-formal attire, or she’d have their heads. They both thought it was ridiculous, but one simply doesn’t argue with Lady G.

“All right, I’m coming out then.” Cracking open the door, McKinley scanned the living room for Spencer. She spotted him fixing his tie by his reflection in the window. Nervously - she wasn’t used to getting so dressed up - she took a few steps toward Spencer and waited for him to finish.

McKinley’s eyes traveled from his wavy, unkempt hair down to his mismatched sock and Converse-clad feet. She stifled a giggle: her Doctor in a blue suit and All Stars.

“Holy hell, he’s gorgeous,” exclaimed a voice in McKinley’s head, shocking her. She’d always found Spencer objectively attractive, but that didn’t even make the list of reasons she initially felt drawn to him, and it certainly had nothing to do with why she loved him. It was almost everything else, but mainly it was his kindness.

However, since their first kiss and ‘I love yous’ two months ago, McKinley had developed…new feelings for the good Doctor. Feelings she recognized, but had never experienced before. Feelings she had yet to discuss with her boyfriend. Tingly in the pants feelings.

Spencer was still fussing over his tie, so she continued quietly admiring him from behind.

“Behind…he has a cute behind, doesn’t he?” That voice again.

“Behave.” McKinley scolded herself.

“I mean, purple’s his best color, but check out that tush in navy. Rrrr.”

“Stop it! Stop that right now!” McKinley forced her eyes upward, where they settled on Spencer’s face. He was fighting a losing battle to keep the tie straight, biting his lower lip in frustration.

“Well, you already know those taste of coffee, peppermint, and – now that it’s fall - pumpkin spice. How does the rest of him taste, though?”

“Lord have mercy, who am I kidding? That’s no tingle, that’s a throb.”

In spite of herself, a small whimper escaped McKinley’s lips.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked, slowly turning to face her. “Are you worried about sensory overload at the party? You can take breaks inside Rossi’s house, everyone will underst- wow,” he exhaled, cutting himself off before lapsing into stunned silence.

Spencer closed the space dividing them, continuing to stare in awe. “No,” she thought, “it’s more than that. His eyes. He looks…hungry? Oh!”

McKinley felt heat creep up her cheeks as her gaze lowered to the floor, landing on Spencer’s shoes. “Yes, a distraction!” “Wow, yourself, Doc-tah,” she replied, laughing at her awful British accent as much as his outfit.

“I – what? Oh, that was unintentional,” he claimed, chuckling at his wardrobe choice. “What about you?” He asked, gesturing at her ensemble. “Deliberate or happy accident?”

McKinley glanced down. Her empire waist, A-line dress was a deep amethyst, her footed tights a snowy white, and her low heels an emerald green. “Ummm, it must’ve been stirring in my subconscious. Not exactly subtle, is it?”

“No, but when have you ever been subtle? It’s helpful, though; your candor removes the guesswork for me.” Spencer brought his hands to McKinley’s face and pulled her in for a kiss. It had more heat, she noted, than their previous ones. And tongue. And hand wandering. It also ended too quickly to suit her.

“Okay, time to go,” Spencer announced, grabbing McKinley’s hand and stepping towards the door; she, however, stayed rooted to the spot. “Uuum, give me a second?” She played for time under the pretense of checking her clutch.

“Most sexy to least sexy, that’s how Sarah says she ‘calms down.’ Think! Ah, Mick Jagger strutting on stage. He’s aesthetically beautiful and he exudes an air of confidence - that’s sexy. What next? Bleh, period bloat. The girls plump up, which is fun, but so does my belly. Least sexy? Oh, gross: the shower drain mold that refuses to die.”

McKinley turned to face Spencer. “I’m all set. Lead the way.”

“After you,” he replied, holding the door for her.

“There’s no mistaking it.” McKinley spotted him grinning mischievously in her peripheral vision. “He knows, and he’s teasing me.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #78

“why are the children all marching into the desert to die?”

list your three favorite scents. lilac, uhhh and then cinnamon and coffee, maybe? how do you ground yourself or recharge? sleep, go online... comfort food? my #1 is definitely ice cream have you ever been on a laptop inside a vehicle? no while on the road, do you play any road games? not anymore are you scared of semi-trucks? especially when you’re driving next to one? AHHHH YES if you have any pets, do you talk to them in a baby voice?  hell yeah! do you like screamo music? i do not. i want to be able to understand the words. like, they can even be in different languages, i don't care, i just want to understand clear words. what is the relationship between you and the person you last kissed? much to my dismay, there isn't one. if you could change your name what would you change it to? zoey, probably. have you ever tried weed?  no, and i have no desire to. how much effort did you put into your last relationship? way, way, way too much. are you a patient person? NOPE. do you have impulse control? DOUBLE NOPE can you use chopsticks? my tremors would never allow it. do you like the smell of gasoline? NO NO NO NO NONONONONO did you ever live in a house with more than one story? nope what’s your favorite fast food place? bojangle's what's your favorite alcoholic drink? i haven't tried many, but the best thing i've had thus far was a watermelon margarita thing. have you ever given yourself a tattoo? no, and i wouldn't. i'm very serious about the professionalism of my tats. do you ever buy your pet(s) birthday or christmas presents? sure do! can you lick your nose?  nope. can you lick your elbow?  nope. would you rather watch a movie in theater or at home?  defs in theaters. do you still own any vhs tapes? do you ever watch them?  no, mom got rid of them all. what hobby have you always wanted to pick up?  hmmm. crafts. have you ever rolled off your bed in your sleep?  no. have you ever had a penpal?  nope. do you put your shirt on or your pants on first?  pants are you afraid of spiders?  only if they are venomous or have extremely long legs in comparison to their bodies. have you ever been stung by a bee?  i haven't. do you enjoy board games?  no. what do you like on your burgers? (cheese, ketchup, mustard..)  cheese, ketchup, mustard, onion pieces, pickles how much water do you drink each day?  none. do you enjoy mario games? not particularly, but with friends, sure. has the last person you kissed met your father? he has. what’s your favorite breed of dog? akita inus, chow chows, beagles... do you swear in front of your parents?  i'm totally open around my dad, but i usually don't say "fuck" around mom. what would you do if you found out you were pregnant to the last person you kissed?  cry and probably become obsessed with the child's well-being, even while in utero. can you make yourself cry? i can't. what do you tend to drink a lot of? milk have you ever woke up crying from a bad dream? yes, and i once woke up screaming. have you ever had to block anyone online? i've been actively using the internet since dial-up, whatcha think? are you scared of ending up alone? i'm legitimately horrified. are your pets asleep right now, if you have any?  i'm not at home, so idk. have you ever done three or more shots in a row? i've never done shots. favorite undersea creature? dolphins i think, but i also really like jellyfish and whales. seahorses, too. describe the darker side to your personality.  more than anything, i can be viciously jealous. i have an interior savagery, but just barely enough control to contain it. what makes a movie really enjoyable for you? creative, whimsical story and artwork, drama, and relatable characters. favorite type of bird? owls. favorite forest animal? deer! do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectedly turned up pregnant right this second? absolutely not. what is your favorite video game console? why?  ps2 has the best games. do you like vanilla candles?  sure do. how many girlfriends/boyfriends have told you they love you? one, i think. juan might have... have you ever smoked a cigarette? no. who did you last share a taxi with? i've never been in one. do you vape? nope. do you enjoy the arctic monkeys?  i like two songs. where’s your favorite place to shop for clothes?  rebel's market. have you ever seen a mountain in person? i have. have you ever explored somewhere abandoned? i have. there's a shack and old house near my house that friends and i explored when i was younger. we got in trouble lol. have you ever found a four-leaf clover? i discovered a patch of four-leaf clovers the day after my dad left... (: would you rather live in a coastal town or a town closer to the forest? ohhh. can it be in the forest? are you lazy? i am, honestly. regularly burn incense? i used to. i need more sticks... who was your high school crush? i had a few. i was kinda interested in a guy named kyle, i really liked this boy sebastian, but my biggest crush was jason. are you cpr certified? no. who accompanied you to your first concert? mom, nicole, and jason. do you and your friends listen to similar music? depends on the friend. my best friend, no. do you believe in the idea of taking from the rich and giving to the poor? why or why not? no, because who says the rich don't deserve what they've accumulated? do you believe that animals are capable of “human” emotion? why not? it's very obvious that they feel emotion; now are their emotions the same as how we humans feel it, maybe not, but they obviously feel. who do you consider “family?” my mom, dad, ashley, nicole, katie, bobby, misty, a few aunts and uncles and uncles, colleen, chelsea, bradley, and despite having no relationship with him, jason will always be my family. could you sacrifice yourself for someone you barely knew? honestly, no. does the thought of having children scare you? horrifies me. i'd prefer to never imagine pushing a seven-pound human being out of my fucking vagina. xbox or playstation? playstation! have you ever asked someone out? i kinda-sorta initiated the asking out with aaron, but not exactly? when do you want to get married? i see 23 as an ideal marrying age, but there's literally no way that'll happen with me unless j comes back. did you like your middle school life? ACTUALLY fuck that. that's when my anxiety and depression started, and it was just... awkward and uncomfortable. have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? yes and no... maybe. like, with jason, i thought to myself, "wow, he's really weird" when i met him, but at the same time, i found myself thinking, "this guy's gonna mean something." what’s your favorite zoo animal? meerkats, on the rare occasion they have them. do you have any plans for tomorrow? skating! :D what’s your favorite part about the fall? the colorful foliage, omg! which scooby-doo character are you most like (scooby, shaggy, daphne, fred, velma, the monster, scrappy?) probably scooby or shaggy. what “group” did you belong to in high school? i resonated/made friends with mostly the goths, emos, metalheads... describe your favorite pair of pj’s. a black pair of pajama pants with a design of harley quinn holding two guns sitting on her knees with "hey, puddin'" written beneath her. i usually wore them when i wanted j's dick honestly lmao. i still wear them tho honestly just 'cuz they're comfortable. if you could have any job in the world, which one would you want? meerkat biologist OR a member of the mythical crew how did you learn to ride a bicycle? my dad taught me. (: have you ever been to a sports game? hockey, yes. have you seen all the shrek movies? no and i cry every night because of it. have you ever finished a whole video game? of course do you know anyone with a pet snake? currently, i don't believe so. your parents split; would you want to live with your mom or dad? they did split, and i live(d) with my mom. how does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else? i've seen one picture of him with his current girlfriend, and i legitimately wanted to murder the bitch. no exaggeration. have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend? multiple times. what is on your bed right now? well, my own bed is in storage right now to my understanding, but the bed i'm using at colleen's currently just had pillows and blankets. are you someone’s best friend? i am! :D what do you think of when you think of australia? my friend shaylee ever ridden on a roller coaster? no, too scared. what is your birthstone? amethyst is anyone jealous of you? literally no reason to ever be. do any of your friends have children? not any close friends how did you get one of your scars? i scratched the fuck out of my leg. it was overly itchy. honestly, what is your point of a view of a friend who goes for their friend’s exes? consult your friend about it. when was the last time you laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe? when playing "cards against humanity" with colleen, chelsea, and bradley would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? zoo! do you sleep with a night light? no. do you bite your toenails? nope. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime? overall, i feel most connected to otep's lyrics. have you ever gone to the person you like’s best friend to help you out? no. who is the most blunt person that you know? colleen do you think you will be going to sleep soon? i might take a nap. what nervous habits do you have? my eyes dart, i play with/knead my hands, avoid eye contact, etc. when was the last time you were hit on by someone? i'm not sure. what is your ringtones on your cellular? "telescope" by starset do you wear makeup? rarely. do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? nope. what is your pet’s name? the only pet i personally "own" is teddy, a beagle-cocker spaniel mix. do you have any siblings? do you get along? my two immediate siblings are ashley and nicole. what is your favorite color? maroon. what color are your eyes? blue do you like your parents? i love them. how long does it take you to shower? like 8 minutes. is the last person you kissed older than you? by two years name everyone you kissed this year: no one is it awkward when you run into your ex’s? i've never "run into" him. i've seen him once, but it wasn't awkward honestly. have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? probably hundreds of times... do you change your phone background a lot? nope. think back to your last relationship. was it worth it? yes, it was. has anyone seen you in your underwear, other than mom? yep. do you hate being the first person to start a conversation? sure do. if you had to live off one type of fruit, which would you pick? strawberries what do you usually order from olive garden? spicy shrimp fritas. fucking perfection. how do you like your steak cooked? well done do you know anyone who self-harms? i know people who have, but i certainly hope they still don't. do you have any siblings? what are their names, age, and grade they are in? doing immediate siblings only. ashley: she's 24, i think, and she's graduated. nicole: she's 18 and is a freshman in college. do you know a schizophrenic person? yes. my own half-sister tiffany is a schizophrenic. do you own many pairs of shorts? i don't have any. is there a certain song you like to headbang to?  surprisingly, i don't headbang. is there a band/artist who has strange lyrics but you love them anyway?  rammstein's lyrics are rather different imo did you love playing hide and seek as a kid?  i really did! do you have a favorite font on the computer?  garamond, i assume. have you ever been severely burned?  nope. did you ever dream that you had a baby?  multiple times. what was the weirdest thing you ever saw cross the road?  hm, not sure... do you try clothes on before you buy them? i avoid that shit like the plague, but i guess if i have to. by society's standards, are you attractive? probably not, idk? mostly because i'm fat, so. i do have clear skin though? would you let your kid smoke weed? if i found my child smoking weed, that would probably be the closest i'd ever get to beating their fucking ass, to be frank about it. are you mentally stable? "no" should be the obvious answer. do you think marijuana is safer than alcohol? in some ways, sure. what do you hear right now? "the dope show" by marilyn manson, chelsea talking in her room... have you ever been in an abusive relationship? no. what color is your favorite bra? it's mostly baby pink, but has a black, swirly design on it. which would you rather have, a new puppy or kitten? i'd actually quite enjoy a kitten right now. if you could have one power, what would it be? shape-shifting. would you ever date out of your own race?   yeah. do you still watch movies intended for children?   every now and again. who is your favorite stand-up comedian?   john pinette. what is your strangest phobia?   whale sharks. what is the most pointless movie that you have ever seen?   "the purge."  just the concept of it was so stupid.  i mean, the film was okay, but still pointless. have you ever kissed someone of the same gender as you?   romantically, no. when a bee is coming close to you, do you stand still or run away?   depends on the kind of bee.  ex., wasp, i'm running.  honeybee, it's cool. are you self conscious about wearing a bathing suit?   very, yes. if you had to play one sport for a living, what would it be?   dance. have your parents ever thought you were gay? what happened?   i don't think so, no. what’s the best thing to eat for breakfast?   pancakes are your parents more liberal or conservative?   conservative, mostly, with some liberal views. when was the last time you saw your best friend?   this morning.  i am currently living with her; she's at work atm. how many jobs have you ever had? (including things like babysitting)   two. do you have family meals when it’s someones birthday?   we go out to eat somewhere nice-ish. are you comfortable talking to both your parents about sex and boys?   mom, sure, but i would never discuss sex with dad. have you ever wanted to be a teacher?   not at all. what do you think is overrated?   i don't really call things "overrated."  well-liked things are liked for a reason. what is underrated?   the band otep.  they should really be better known. can spiders jump?   yes, they can. there was a sculpture that was supposed to be displayed for a week in the rockefeller center in nyc of a falling woman - designed as a memorial to those who jumped or fell to their death from the world trade center. it was complained about as grotesque, inappropriate and describe as 'not art.’ what do you think?   who says something grotesque cannot be art?  it was absolutely art and carried with it a heavy message.  it shouldn't have been censored by not showing it. has anyone ever mistaken you for a satanist?   with my wardrobe, probably. what did you see today that was beautiful in an ordinary way?   i saw my best friend. are you dyslexic?   no sir. do you agree with the people who say that everyone is bi-sexual even if they don’t want to admit it?   heard that before, and it's bullshit. if you are the only human on the planet of the apes do you have sex with an ape?   ugh, no. do you believe that black people should get money to make up for their previous enslavement?   ... the fuck is this?  no???  look, i am in no way racist or anything, but there is no reason to pay african americans because of past mistreatment?  like, that shit's done and over with? have you ever tried to write poetry or song lyrics?   poetry, yeah. do you like men who have a sensitive side?   it's like.  mandatory for me. dangly earrings, hoop earrings, simple studs, or no earrings at all?   hmmm, studs. would you ever wear black lipstick? do you know anyone who does?   i do sometimes. do you lecture people about drugs?   if one prompts me too, yes. if you could pick the temperature of the outdoors for the rest of your life, what would it be?   like... 49, maybe? who was the last person to call you babe?   probably colleen, potentially juan. do you have family problems?   yes. were you smiling when you woke up this morning?   who the fuck just wakes up smiling? do you like being in pictures?   while it's great to be included, i only really like it if i'm taking the picture, 'cuz i know how to flatter my face. do you sneak out?   at 21, i can't exactly "sneak out," but when i was a teenager, no, i never did. how would you spend a day at the beach?   in the ocean have you ever experienced altitude sickness?   nope. do you ever make a big deal out of nothing?  only constantly. have you ever written anything on a bathroom stall?  nope. are your hands unsteady?   yes, i have an essential tremor. are you scared of moving on?  FUCKING HORRIFIED. when talking on the phone, do you place it against your left or right ear?   right ear are you scared you’ll get a q-tip stuck inside your ear?   nope. do you use index cards to help you prepare for tests?   i never did. what’s your favorite flavor of sunflower seeds?   i don't like sunflower seeds. what's currently on your mind?   meh.  i feel... alone and unaccomplished.  i just found out a veeery old friend of mine is moving out with her girlfriend soon, and.  idk.  seeing her grow up like that makes me jealous.  i miss having another half, okay? what’s your favorite hairstyle on a guy?   kill me pls, bc i like emo/scene hair the most ;-; what color is your hairbrush?   hot pink have you ever dated someone with curly hair?   not full-blown curly, no.  very few of j's tips would be curly, but his hair overall was more wavy. how many of the people you’ve kissed have had brown eyes?   one. what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said to the person you like?   "i love you." are you currently in a “i wouldn’t mind if i lost 50 pounds” kind of mood?   losing 50 pounds would honestly be spectacular. are your parents religious?   yeah. would you like to have twins?   fuck no. if your best friend liked your last ex, what would you do?   oh, i'd tell her off. want to have kids before you’re 30?   it'd be ideal. has someone ever made a promise to you and broke it?   sure has. would you ever date anyone covered in tattoos?   sure. do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse?   female. are you interested in more than one person at the moment?   nope.

[metronomecharisma]

TL ;DR : I am myself for good, I confess a lot of stuff, I love make-up and tights, I love my friends so fucking much, and I want everyone to be proud about themselves.

I promised a full story about me wearing tights and make-up and stuff some days ago on my Insagram account. So here it is. I didn’t know if I wanted to share it with you when I started writing it, but In fact I think it’s necessary to share all that with you. I want you to know this story and that I wanted to be myself for good.

Let’s start from the very beginning. I always had a great sensitivity, and some attraction for things that modern society calls “girly things”: hugging your friends, crying, writing our deepest feelings on a diary, having long hair, watching romantic films, loving flowers, loving pink, and a lot of other things. Pretty early I was attracted by beautiful clothes and attitudes that wasn’t « male ». I remember that when I was a child, when I was 6 or 8 (mom help me pls), I had a doll named Léa, and I loved taking care of her, to comb her, to tell her my secrets. I admit I also had weird experiences about discovering sexuality with that doll. I don’t have anymore souvenirs with her, but she was with me for some years, with a little blanket I still have now that one of my aunts, that now live far away from earth since 2004, offered me when I was a baby.

I didn’t have any problems by being me in primary school, despite being shy. I started to had troubles to be a “good boy” when I was in college. Almost every boys in the school was mad about me because I wasn’t male enough : I didn’t have pricey shoes, joggings, hats, vulgar language and stuff. Also I wasn’t into rap music. I grew up listening to Mylène Farmer, Nirvana, Daniel Balavoine, and even Guerilla Poubelle tho. So I forced myself to be a “good boy”: listening to (bad) rap music, wearing baggys, being a stupid disrespectful teenager (wish I could be a grunge or skramz teenager tbh), lying to myself, refusing to face my feelings, my wishes, my sensitivity, my feminity. When I was in my last year of college, I started having access to the internet, and I discovered the whole emo thing through some friends that was in that movement and recommend me some websites and elements of style. It wasn’t at all the “punk” side of emo that I discovered years later, it was all about “scene” stuff, and to be honest, I was completely blown away back in the day… I saw girls and guys with make-up, long and colored hair, lots of colored or pretty dark clothes, slim pants, with lots of feelings… I was like “wow, guys can be like them and being happy and popular and shit. It’s real…”. When I was on the internet at this time, it was for like one or two hours in a whole week because my father was super restrictive and wicked. So I managed to find the password of the computer of the father, and I passed lots of sleepless nights writing feelings on stupid blogs with scene aesthetics before he woke up to go to work… I was looking for recognition, I wanted to feel good about myself, and I refused to be alone because yeah, I felt terribly alone in my family, by beginning to love metal music, by affirming my style, my sensitivity… My father laughed a lot at me because of my sensitivity, because of the way I dressed, my way of expressing myself… The more I asserted myself, the more he mocking me and was violent against me. He hated me when I was a teenager, when I was a scene kid, when I decided to put eyeliner on me, to wear slim pants, to have long and “girly” hair… The more I was hurt by him, the more I wanted to go further and being even more myself each day. He never wanted to hear myself when I was sad, when I wanted to talk with him about life and stuff. I never had any good souvenirs with him, he was never there during my scolarity, he never learned me anything. He never wanted to have sons, only daughters. So at least, he wanted me to be a « good boy ». And I wasn’t that straight dude… And I wasn’t sorry. He wasn’t sorry. One night, he wanted to kill myself, because I stayed 10 more minutes than my authorized time limit on the computer, and I was sad and I needed to speak about myself, when no one was here for me. He grabbed my throat and strangled me with all his might, shouting “I’ll kill you!” He passed the night with cops.

Anyway, during those nights, I learned how to be myself, how to express feelings, how to talk to that kind of people, how to be like them. I met some great people, wonderful women, especially this girl with whom I had a strong relationship for a year, during my 17th year, and with whom I lived proudly my androgyny, she loved that, she even did my hair pretty often, and put makeup on me… I was really lucky, and hey, thank you so much for that, Jessica, you are a great part of who I am today. And yeah, I also met bad people. I made bad stuff too at this time, I was a stupid coward guy during a year, when I was 16, I hurted a joyful and adorable girl called Alison by thinking too much about myself, and I played the victim of the break-up. I’ll never be sorry enough for that, I was a stupid dickhead with her, I acted like my father: constantly being ignorant, constantly being on the Internet. Hope she’ll find that post one day. During those nights, I learned how beautiful a guy can be by being “girly”, androgynous… And I also learned that a good amount of them was terribly macho, with violent thoughts against women, and I strictly refused to think that way. I wanted to be myself, but why girly men were violent against the girls they wanted to look like? Do I really wanted to be like them? Why I started to thing and act like them, like my father? Maybe I wanted to be a good guy in the end, for being accepted, because it was the way I was born, because those androgynous boys themselves needed to be « good boys », because they just wanted to exist for girls and having sex and stuff. At this time I hated the idea to have sex… It’s another debate tho. Then by growing up, I searched again and again who I was, who I wanted to be. Not like them, not a male, just… me ? But fuck, who the hell I was? One thing was sure : I was alone, and never wanted to be a « good boy ». I was lost. I got some friends of course, but I wasn’t able to see them often because of my father, and mom who was under his authority. Then I was 18, the scene movement was almost dead, but I still wanted to look like this but not thinking like most of the boys in that movement, I think I reached a point where I really felt good about my look. I met a girl in my new high school that was half kawaii and half metalhead, and she was seduced by the way I dressed, my hair, the fact I was a guy with make-up and someone that was “out of step with the world” in our shitty parisian suburb. We spied each other during 3 months, she was pretty talented for that : she succeeded to have my MSN address (yeah, MSN, feel old now?) through a classmate she had missionned for making me sign a false petition… This was fucking crazy haha ! We spoke during a crazy amount of hours in MSN, then met during a cold and snowy day of December. She was so cute with her childish attitude and her yolo lifestyle… I admit her boy-ish side charmed me too. The first six months was some of the best in my young life. She encouraged me to continue to be myself, to leave my house where I suffocated more and more each passing day. I did it, I moved to her bedroom (she lived with her mother), and finally it was time for me to be free… I was wrong. I will not go into details, but she forced me to be someone I didn’t want to be, wanted to rob me and deprive me of my privacy, my sensitivity, my privacy, my friends, my website, my music tastes, my femininity. I had no right to approach her, to cuddle or kiss her, while I wanted to give her tons of love, sweetness, warmth, to tell her how she was cute and unique, how she was courageous to fight the malady that will paralyze her arms and legs, how I was frustrated, disappointed, terrified of this situation, how I missed the herself of that 22 December of 2012 so fucking much. When we made love together, it was completely cold and distant… Like, there was no love, no complicity, she wanted me to have sex, but didn’t want it at the same time… It was so weird. So I didn’t know how to act. I always was 100 % gentle and caring with her in those moments, but she remained cold, silent… I remember to sob out and wanted to scream loud as fuck one night after making love this way once again, and stifle my tears and my breath as hard as possible on the pillow so she wouldn’t hear me, and then she asked me “Yo, you’re OK?” and was like “yeah, all is fine!”, and we fell asleep, and so it went on for two years. I was afraid every day of having missed something because of my way of being, I was afraid to not being here enough for her, I was afraid, afraid of everything, afraid of me. At the end of this relationship, I lost all trust and self-esteem in myself, I repressed everything I had built and deconstructed, I just wanted to end everything and eventually wanted to start again from zero. Ultimately, to flourish as a good boy would be the way to spare me worries and being in peace with everything? I believed it.

I began to acquire somewhat disgusting ideals about women, alternative lifestyles, I started to have short hair, to be dressed like a fucking businessman, I started to troll everywhere, to be misanthropic and selfish… I was the complete opposite of the real me. I started to make friends this way, but none of them was good people, or safe. I was in a way to fucked up even more my already well fucked up life. And fortunately, even if it was super bad done at this time, I was always thinking, every time, every hour, every fucking second. And I was thinking about my actions, I was convinced that I made all that shit to be someone, to exist. But I cowardly close my eyes because I was someone to some people, I wasn’t alone. Then I finally started to REALLY start from zero the day I realized my actions were bad and wasn’t at all soothing or constructive for me and people around. It was scary as fuck but it was the best decision I ever made about me. I again isolated myself by forgetting these bad relationships, I thought about what I really liked to do, live, feel, see, listen, say, eat, drink… It took me 3 years. 3 years to find myself again, to deconstruct and reconstruct everything. To remember how the fuck I loved putting eyeliner on me, to be cheesy and lovely as fuck with people, to support every fucking kid who was alone, who was oppressed because of the way they felt with themselves, the way they dressed, their identity… Since I took over my life in hand, since I really decided to make something cool with my blog, that I really am myself, I met fantastic people, I lived perfect, wacky, unforgettable moments, I realized that my life is beautiful in spite of everything that happens around us, and it’s more and more beautiful thanks to this group of friends who consolidates since last year. I’m so fucking happy with myself since I’m cheesy and feminine and sensitive and expressive again. I think I look great, I’m happy by seeing myself this way in the mirror. When I tried that floral tights some days ago, with a grey tie-dye short above, it was completely unreal. It was like I waited to see me this way since my birth, I found myself so great… Like never before. I had tears of joy and flourishing in my eyes. No lies.

I can’t being 100% this way at work, unfortunately. Maybe 80% of myself can be showed to customers? I can’t wait to find another job where I can be totally me, it will be hard, but I think I can find it… Well, I hope :’) I’m feeling more myself than ever with that floral tights, with that black shorts, with my fringe and long hair, with eyeliner, with nail polish, with my childish attitude. And 100% of my actual friends and lots of punx people love me this way, and I can’t thank them enough for this. Some people aren’t aware yet of all I say on this post before reading this, so hey mom, hey dad, hey family, hey facebook friends : here’s your non-binary small vegan skramzkid, more happy and proud than ever, struggling with bad looks in the streets but not giving a fuck about it in the end, saying fuck you to every racist, sexist, machist, transphobic, ableist people, living his life fully because we only have one, taking care of each friend, each life around me, being me, being him, being her, being good. A super cool friend asked me what pronouns to use to talk to me… You can use they/them and “iel” for french people. Also “he” or “she” none will disturbs me, I feel good in my boy’s body as in my femininity, the most important for me is to feel good about myself. Maybe one day I’ll feel better with one pronoun rather than the other. Maybe. Who knows, life’s surprising, right ? :)

Hey everyone, please, be proud of who you are. Your body & mind are fucking YOURS. We only fucking living once, it’s OUR time, OUR lives. You are great, you matters, you are beautiful, you are NOT alone, no matter the age, color, origins, « imperfections » you have. Please, don’t let common people tell you how to dress, to think, to live, to love, to have sex, be YOU, ALWAYS. And if you are against all that, FUCK YOU, unfriend me, unfriend every of my friend, forget me, I don’t want you in my life because I live AGAINST you.

*insert all the lyrics of « rather die young, than die young at heart » of Rainmaker* « Mais d'où vient cette étrange impression de sentir mes mots se briser sous ce bloc de discours agencés, sous le poids du pré-pensé… Advienne que pourra, j'ai fait mon choix. Désolé mon gars, encore libre à moi de refuser ce qu'on t'a inculqué, je n'ai pas à m'y plier, à ton mal à penser ! Encore libre à moi de refuser ce qu'on t'a inculqué, ce qu'on veut m'imposer ! » Belle Epoque - Le mal à penser.

Yours truly, Guillaume.

[fireninjadagger-blog]

Give Me All Your Hopeless Hearts

Synopsis: Frank didn't plan on befriending the art and music kids at school and he especially had no intentions of falling in love with Gerard Way. All he wanted was to get through the year as quickly and as painlessly as possible.  Frerard: Classic high school setting but I'm fairly certain this combination of characters has never been done before. My Chemical Romance, Tonight Alive, Set It Off, PVRIS, Panic! At The Disco, Paramore, Fall Out Boy. 

Chapter1: September 15th

       "This will be your class schedule," the secretary says handing me a printed form. I take the warm paper from her hand and scan it. Well, at least they got the guitar class I wanted and I was also given the early release I was promised. Though I didn't ask for math, history, or English but this is a school so I can't really complain there. I got what I wanted and looks like my study hall is the first hour. Good, I'm not a morning person. "Is there any other questions you have that I could answer for you?"        I glance up from my schedule and look at the woman. "No, that's all, I guess," I mumble.        "Well then, welcome to North Shore High," she says with a cheery smile. I stand and fling my bag over my right shoulder then shuffle out of here. I guess I should be going to class but I don't really want to. Due to the untimely cross-country move, I'm already coming to school two weeks after it started, making my transition a hell of a lot bumpier. As if the new kid from New Jersey dropping into a sea full of prissy teens living their whole lives in upstate Cali wasn't bad enough. I'd be worried I'd get jumped for standing out so badly but I have to remember I'm not at home anymore where not constantly looking over your shoulder is a death sentence. The worst thing that could happen here is you tan too dark for your eyebrows or someone else bought your $750 dollar shoes and you can't wear them anymore to be "original".        I know I'm just being spiteful here and I'm sure not everyone is as bad as I built them to be in my head. But I fought a one-man war about this move and tragically lost. I don't know how I planned on spending my summer but moving from New Jersey to California was definitely nowhere on the list. My top three would be catching up on sleep, finally relaxing, and saving up to buy an electric guitar. Turns out parents' job rearranges everything. When my mom and dad sat me down to tell me, I was expecting them to inform me they are finally getting a divorce. They've been fighting over the years and it kept getting worse and worse. I know deep down they don't love each other anymore like how they did when I was younger and I felt it coming soon, I felt in my heart. The fact they shouldn't be together is the only thing they could ever agree on in the past 10 years. But turns out they still haven't gotten around to the divorce so instead, both of my parents move to California and they drag me along biting and clawing the whole way there. How could I possibly move across the country and not be angry? I knew they were both offered jobs over in LA but I'm in school and my life is in New Jersey. I didn't want to go but I didn't get a say in the matter. After doing everything I could, I knew there was no way I could opt out of this move or convince them otherwise. So I lost the war but I did win one battle and it was the battle of my life. I managed to compromise and at least get to finish my sophomore year before the move.        I told my friends I was leaving but none of them took it as hard as I did. They were "bummed out" but nowhere near as distressed as I as. It seemed to constantly slip their mind I was leaving too because I had to keep pointing it out every time they talked about "next year" with me. I wasn't going to be there next year and they didn't seem to care. It was in that moment I realized you're not supposed to care much about your friends. I mean, the lot of us never really been close. We were all very different. Charlie and Luke were on the football team, Patrick was the super nerd in all the computer, science, and math classes, Darin was I dare say the delinquent of our group as well as the player. Then there's me: the metalhead who likes music too much for my own good. Friends aren't much of anything besides something to pass the time. I could never define friends until now.

       I climb up to the second floor and roam the halls until I come across the room number. The door is open and the teacher is sitting in the front at his desk typing on the computer while the class is working or diligently napping. A few kids have their earbuds in while writing homework assignments, some kids are talking to their friends next to them but a majority of them are either on their phones or burying their face in their desk asleep.        I walk up to the teacher's desk and he looks up at me. "Ah, you must be the new student," he says getting up and greeting me. "Frank Lero is it?"        "It's Iero actually," I correct.        "Oh, my bad," he says. "Well, welcome to our school. I'm Mr. Cee and this is your study hall. I know it's the first period of the day so you won't always have work. If that's the case, I don't mind you on your phone or relaxing before you go to your other classes. I also don't have assigned seats, you can find a place. And if you ever need to go somewhere else like a computer lab, library, any other class, just sign out with a pass and you're good."        "Okay, thanks," I say and awkwardly shuffle away from his desk and glance over at my options of open seats. A few kids noticed my arrival and are glances at me. Others are too busy to realize which is all for the better I'd say. Then I spot an empty seat in the very back of the room on the same side as the door. That's a good place. I head over to the empty seat and ask the girl with glowing hair next to it if it's taken.        "Huh?" she says still laughing at whatever funny thing her boyfriend or wannabe boyfriend said to her.        "Is this seat taken?" I ask again.        She brushes her neon, scarlet hair out of her face and looks up at me still giddy. "Oh, no. You can sit there," she says. I drop my bag off my shoulder and grab the strap before it thuds to the ground and I sit down. The girl starts giggling again and the guy with dark hair shortly cropped on the sides with longer bangs falls over on his desk. I roll my eyes at those two and put my music in. I just want to get through the day and then the week. I just want to get through this year and repeat for my senior year. I don't care anymore, I just want to get through high school in one piece and then I'm done. I don't ever have to deal with this again, I'm free. I just want to be invisible and make this as painless as possible. No time to bother making friends, I doubt any of them are worth it. There's no such thing as real friends. Just people to pass the time. I turn on my phone and look at my text messages. The last text I received was from my mother this morning. The standard "have a good day at school! Here's our address in case you forgot so you know how to get home" My dad hasn't texted me recently and my friends all forgot about me already. I've tried texting them in our group chat but they started talking about hanging out together, which I clearly can't do anymore. Then Patrick said they should make a group chat with all of them but not Frank and use it for when they hang out so I don't feel bad. I guess they started using the one without me and never went back. I tried texting them, both on the big one and individually. Some of them haven't responded, Patrick hasn't even opened my texts to read. The ones who to respond only send one-word replies and kill the conversation quickly. I eventually left the group chat and stopped trying a long time ago. I've come to see they don't text me, to begin with, which is why I no longer have friends and maybe never had any in the first place.

       After a period of sitting there contemplating my life while listening to Smashing Pumpkins, I make my way down to the music hallway for guitar. I really hope that this class is better than the last one, something to do but hopefully even less interaction with people other than a teacher. Sitting in the corner by the door, I notice in the back the same girl and guy from my study hall are here except they're with more friends. There's five of them all together. Another guy wearing a hoodie and two more girls with a unique hair. The brunette has really long hair down to her waist and it's wavy. The side of her temples are shaved completely and she wears all black and grey schemed clothes. Grey tights, black boots, dark grey skirt, light grey blouse and a very classy jacket. Then the other girl sitting next to the fancy lady is dressed similarly to the neon-haired girl. She too has ripped skinny jeans, converse, some sleeveless shirt that requires her to wear a black tank top underneath and a flannel tied around her waist. The five of them all sit in a tight circle laughing together and playing really obnoxiously on their instruments. Part of me really wants to start shredding Metallica because I know how to but I don't think that would be a good idea. Remember, low profile and invisible.

       History goes by. Gym goes by. Lunch is a real adventure trying to find somewhere to sit and then I have a brilliant idea of going down to the empty guitar room during my lunch period. No one is in here so no one can bother me. I'm almost done with the day when English comes around and I have an aneurysm. I go up to the teacher and instead of keeping her cool like the other teachers have, she makes a huge scene after the bell rings.        The last of the kids walk into class as the bell rings and they're all still talking when she pulls this stunt. "Class, we have a new student today." Everyone quiets down and starts looking around the room. I pull my hood over my head and try to avoid eye contact. Oh god... "Frank? Please stand up so we can all meet you." By now, a majority of the class knows I'm the new kid intruding on their lives. I reluctantly stand and pull my jacket down. I'm now showing the whole class how short I am. If I was a girl, I'd be average height except I'm a guy and I am pathetically small. "Introduce yourself to the class," the teacher says with her preppy voice.        "My name is Frank Iero," I reply.        The teacher waits for me to continue but I just stare at her wanting permission to sit back down. "Tell us where you're from and something about yourself so we get to know you."        This is not part of the plan. I'm just supposed to pass by here invisibly and unnoticed until I'm free. I don't want people to know who I am. I just want to hide. "I'm from Summit, New Jersey and I like the color red," I say flatly. There are some whispers going around over the fact I'm from Jersey.        "Oh, that must be exciting over there. Did you like it?" the teacher asks.        "Yes. And then I was dragged here to this land of sunshine." The teacher looks at me slightly uncomfortable sensing my attitude.        "Well, thank you, Frank. You may sit down." My knees collapse as soon as the words leave her mouth and I retreat back underneath the hood of my leather jacket and do my best to become invisible. God, that was utterly humiliating. I could have just died on the spot right there. Hell, dying on the spot right there would have been better. Man, this is a train wreck. I just want to go back to Jersey. I may not have had friends but I fit in with the people there. Everyone listened to the same music and it was a passion we carried deep in our blood. We fought for what we loved and we lived as though we'd die tomorrow. People were crazy, everyone was crazy and everyone was okay with being crazy. There was violence that made you fearful and knowing one wrong mistake may get you killed prevented the idiots from surviving. Everyone around had common sense and we weren't stupid. Knowing while walking home you might get shot made sure you never took anything for granted. We all sounded the same and we were never pointed out for how we pronounced words and we never pointed out when someone we knew spoke differently. I missed it back there. I don't belong in California.        The period is almost over when someone taps my shoulder. I uneasily turn around to see the girl from my guitar class wave at me. It's the girl with the flannel around her waist and sitting next to her is the other girl who dressed as if she just might go have tea with the queen of England at any moment. "Hi," she says cheerfully.        "Hi?" I say unsure and give a small wave.        "So you're new here, huh?" she brings up as a conversation starter. I really wish she didn't feel the need to talk to me for the sake of talking to the new kid.        "Yeah," I answer hoping to end the conversation.        "My name's Jenna and this is my-," Jenna looks back at the girl and gives a nervous laugh, "my friend Lynn."        "Hi," I respond towards Lynn.        "Yeah, well, I noticed I had a lot of class with you. Our friend Hayley said you sit next to her and Brendon in study and I saw you also in my gym class. You seem to be hanging by yourself so I wanted to ask you if in guitar tomorrow you wanted to sit with my friends and me."        "Oh, um, that's-wow-really nice of you," I say, sitting up. "Um, I guess if it's cool with them."        "Oh, totally. They're super chill. And Hayley and Brendon said they wanted to talk to you but you had your earbuds in so you didn't hear them.        "I didn't know they were," I say. "I didn't really want to bother those two, couples tend to get annoyed with others intrude I thought."        Jenna and Lynn start giggling. "Oh, no. Hayley and Brendon aren't dating. No, they're like brother and sister. And Brendon is dating someone else," Lynn explains.        "Oh, okay," I note. "So, I'll see you girls tomorrow then?" I ask.        "Definitely," they say in unison and then look at each other laughing. I smile warmly as the bell rings and I head to my math class. I resume my undercover op of remaining invisible however I kind of wished Jenna or Lynn were here, especially Jenna. They were really nice to me and Jenna seems like we'd make good friends. I can tell just by the way she dresses. And she's really nice, I don't know. God, what's gotten into me? One nice person makes an effort of being kind to me and all of a sudden, I'm hoping she's my best friend. I need to keep it cool, in case this is just getting to my head.        My math class ends and I don't have homework considering I used to be a year ahead of math at my old school and they put me in honors juniors math, which is technically the class I took last year. This is way too easy for me but all the better to get an easy A. My early release is after math class so when the bell rings, I walk out of the school. My phone had my new home address typed into google maps so I knew how to get back from here. On my way out, I see Jenna again with more of her friends. The girl she's with looks like her twin. It's not Hayley or Lynn but another girl. I think Jenna has a twin because this girl has the same 90's punk rock style cut and platinum, bleached blonde hair. They look like they both have an off style of Joan Jett's hair but bleached to an almost white. They also both have ripped skinny jeans, Jenna's grey and the other girl's blue. They have the converse, tied flannels, and sleeveless tops. The two of them walk together in front of the rest of them. Only one of the guys is familiar. I don't think it's the Brendon dude so it's the other one in guitar class. There are two more guys walking side by side. One wearing sports clothes and looks like a preppy athlete, the other kind of looks like me almost. Long, black bangs covering his face, wearing a leather jacket with the hood up and his bag hastily slung over his left shoulder. The only real difference between me and this guy walking out with Jenna and her friends is he's a few inches taller and he's carrying a bulky sketchbook.

Continue reading here! Hope you enjoyed :) Wattpad and Quotev: @.FireNinjaDagger https://www.wattpad.com/story/108061102-give-me-all-your-hopeless-hearts-frerard-high