#not usually talk about tv show stuff on main but o my god i didn’t expect them to both air new eps this week

[cannibalistic-vampirefag]

WHAT DO YOU MEEEEAN BOTH 9-1-1 AND 9-1-1 LONE STAR SEASON PREMIER WERE THIS WEEK. AND I JUST FOUND OUT

[thatgirlwritingficsatnight]

Odi et Amo II

Odi et amo. Quare id faciam fortasse requiris? nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior  

Catullus, 85

After a few years of working in the USA for Disney and playing the role of The White Fox in Marvel Cinematic Universe you came back to your motherland - Korea only to be greeted with hatred and contempt. To make things harder for you the universe sends you the most irritating neighbour ™. Will you be able to find your happiness and  accomplish your dream of becoming loved actress in Korea without complying with standards of patriarchal society?

pairing: Park Jinyoung x reader

genre: actor au

warnings: angst, foul language (please don’t read it if you’re not old enough)

words: 5764

A/N: It was supposed to be published last week, but I was unhappy with it and ended up rewriting it/adding some things. Sorry! (*_ _)人 P.S Sorry for my grammatical errors! Enjoy!

Chapter I

***

Currently sitting in front of your manager you eyed him. He seemed tired and you felt a pang of conscience it was probably because of your tweets last night and you wouldn’t even think of meeting him if you weren’t in dire need of getaway from the uncomfortable conversation with your neighbor. You didn’t meet in your agency’s building since both of you despised the place even though it was a new and flashy building made out of something that looked like a white marble. Both of you agreed on meeting outside it, so you were sitting in the café nearby while wondering how did your shitty boss manage to rent it. Last time you’ve been here, it was a few rooms in shabby, old building. You shivered while imagining going in, that place had an evil aura even from across the street.

"Where did you get all that money to rent it?" you asked.

"We actually bought it." 

"Well, business goes well then."

"Actually we are only able thanks to your movies. Don’t tell Kim Pd-nim I told you, he thinks you'll become arrogant."

"I already am." You smiled coldly.

"That's what I told him."

Your manager had a sarcastic smirk on. Both of you and hated your CEO and even mentioning him would bring up unpleasant memories. Kim Sanghoon was one of those bosses who wouldn't even think about trying to help idols and stars that were bringing him money. No matter what it was — crazy fans destroying your life, death threats, your collapsing mental health he didn’t care. Once you were attacked by media and netizens you were on your own and if it was too much for the company your contract was terminated. You often wondered when would you become too much for them to handle.

"How do you feel?" Your manager caught you off guard, even though you had known each other for a long time there was an unspoken rule between you not to talk about other things than work.

"Honesty..I'm fine I don't understand why everyone asks me that." You huffed a bit irritated and run fingers through your hair. 

"Well it's just.. I know it was important to you and you worked hard to earn the hearts of your Korean fa..."

"I'm fine." you didn't manage to hide irritation in your voice. You were not used to talking about it and you didn't like it one bit. Besides what were you supposed to say anyway? No one else was as hated as you. Of course there were idols and stars that were occasionally criticized but not one of them was constantly a target of such hatred. Even when you left there were still death threats send from your motherland to you, nothing changed. Not to mention no one else got such welcoming on the day of return to their home. It was unfair, stupid, infuriating and saddening. And yet you couldn’t understand what people were expecting of you? Both Mark and your manager knew you, or so you thought. What were you supposed to do? Cry? You wouldn't cry, that was what weak people do, that would show you actually care about what those assholes think about you. You were just fine. Ok. Neither sad nor happy. You'd endure whatever you had to but you won't conform to their image of idol and woman nor will you show any sign of weakness. You'd rather stay hated than do that. Your manager sighed and it pulled you out of your thoughts.

"Well then. If you're okay then I'm glad. So just as I told you I have this drama for you if you're interested." You weren't the slightest bit. Frankly you'd rather stay in bed for the next three months jobless than play some crazy villain or villainous second female lead. Then again you felt bad about the amount of work he probably had because of you. You looked him in the eyes and answered with a sigh.

"I can't promise anything but I can at least listen what it’s about.." Your manager seemed surprised, but he didn't wait long, perhaps in case you'd change your mind. He took out some papers and handed them to you. You cringed on the sole title "Love is your destiny" — it sounded sappy. 

"So it's a love story between fallen angel and this human..." he started.

"Angels...so who do they want me to play? Satan? Devil? Succubus?" You browsed through pages to find the villain.

"You'd know if you'd let me finish." You sent him a small apologetic smile. "They want you to play the main role." You stared at him confused before you burst with laughter.

"They want me to play cute girl in love with the angel?" The idea of you playing the sweet female lead was absurd, not that you weren’t able to do it, you were a good actress it wouldn’t be a problem for you, if anything it would most likely be a challenge for the audience.

"No, no! You'd play the angel. See this is drama with strong female lead. The origin of your character is fascinating. You had to watch the mistreatment of a woman extremely devoted to god. The lady prayed, but she still got beaten, almost killed even. Moreover, you had to be the guardian angel of her torturer — the aggressive husband. You pleaded to god, you asked him to let you guard her instead, but he didn’t agree and forbade you from intervening. One night when the husband got drunk, he beat her unconscious and you were sure he’d kill her. You decided to save her, you kill her husband and this is the moment when you fell. That's when you became deviant and promised yourself you'd help those who were denied it. You’d protect them and avenge them. Fast-forward a thousand years, and we are in Seoul and you meet a man, a painter..." He was so excited you almost didn't understand some words because of the speed. He was waiting for your response but you were too occupied with reading what he handed you. Once you finished it you looked at him with a mix of surprise and excitement.

"It's like it was made for me.." you said with bewildered tone.

"That's because it was made for you. The screenwriter wrote it with you in mind." You looked like a cartoon character, eyes wide, mouth in a shape of letter "o", once you heard him.

"Me?"

"Yes. She is apparently a big fan."

"And tvN is ok with that?" You furrowed your brows confused.

"Perhaps they aren't. But it is co-production with Netflix, and they pushed for you since you’re popular worldwide." 

Your heart fluttered and the tips of your fingers tingled from excitement as you rummaged through the pages once again, not only it would be showed in TV during the prime-time but also streamed on Netflix weekly.

"The screenwriter and producer kept calling me since yesterday as soon as it was known you came back. They almost cast someone else. They were sure you're staying in the USA. Isn't it amazing?" He was as excited as you were and you felt some remorse for being so rude to him before. You gave him your warmest smile, one you usually used only around Mark and your family.

"It really is. Thank you and I'm sorry for being rude earlier." He was clearly uncomfortable with your apology, red spreading on his cheeks as he waved his hand dismissively.

"Ah don't mention it. Does that mean I can call them and say you are interested." You looked at the pages in front of you once again and smiled broadly before simply saying.

"Yes!"

Jinyoung was still amused you threatened him in his own café. He couldn't focus on the book he had in his hands anymore as he chuckled replying your angered and irritated expressions in his head. It was fun to tease you because you reacted so well. He could tell you could be great friends if you'd let him. He smiled to himself mouthing your own words "bloody Y/N". He was truly shocked that he met you here of all places and found it rather amusing when you yelled in English and caught his attention. He felt some disappointment upon seeing a half naked man talking to you from the screen of your phone but the feeling disappeared as quickly as it came up once your friend ended the call. Jinyoung wouldn't call himself a noisy person, but he found you interesting, and he wanted to know who it was and what kind of relationship you had although he rarely cared for stuff like this... His thoughts were interrupted by his ring-tone, BamBam's face illuminated the screen. He sighed but answered it anyway.

"Skrrrt, skrrt!"

"Ah yes, good morning to you to Bam." Jinyoung said in amused tone.

"Oh, hyung you seem in good mood. What you're up to?"

"Reading, thinking."

"Sounds boring wanna hang out?"

"Actually I wanted to ask you about something." Jinyoung ignored his question once he remembered how obsessed with celebrities and their styles Bam was.

"Shoot."

"Do you know any celebrities under the name Y/N." BamBam laughed wholeheartedly.

"That's very funny hyung."

"What do you mean?"

"OMG you're not joking! Are you living under a rock, hyung? Y/N is like the hottest actress ever. Her style is chic and comfy and artsy it's really cool, and she actually doesn't have a stylist, she does it on her ow..."

"She is an actress?"

"She is the actress! She played the White Fox in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Lol, you call yourself an actor and you don't know the most popular Korean actress abroad."

"You know I don't like those superheroes movies. Besides why didn't I hear about her Korean career if she's so good?"

"You are so old it scares me sometimes. Well you should know her from internet. I think it's national sport to hate her or something. She just came back, and they're already frying her online not to mention the media and dating rumors."

"Dating rumors?"

"Yeah she dated few actors. I think Seojoon hyung dated her and Changwook hyung even almost proposed. The media made her to look like heartless vixen though. I mean they never liked her but her last ex gave a very unfavorable interview to dispatch and after that she became villain number one. She left shortly after."

"Mmmm... I see." Jinyoung only started his career four years ago so it shouldn't be weird you've never met before. He was also the type of person who couldn't care less about internet gossip and gutter press or dispatch. He sighed. Suddenly your angry reaction made much more sense and Jinyoung didn't feel as good about it as he did before. He scolded himself for being too frivolous and selfish. He just wanted to see your reactions - it was cute and funny...

"Why did you ask? OMG you've met her didn't you. I'm so jealous. What was she wearing? Was it Gucci? I heard she likes it."

"Ok Bam. I have to go. Thanks for the talk."

"Wait, so you wanna hang out?"

"Last time when you asked me to hang out I had to shop for 4 hours with you."

"Well... I am your stylist. Besides, it was fun, come on." 

"I think we have different definitions of "fun""

You woke up to no noise pleasantly surprised. It seems that Sunday's were free from renovation and thanks to that you could sleep in. You stretched out and grabbed the phone to check the time. It was already past eleven. You smiled to yourself and fell to bed lazily. Soon you wouldn't have time for lazy days like this as the production team was supposed to finish up casting for the drama by the end of the next week. You thought about picking some groceries, maybe cooking yourself some food and enjoying the day with a book or perhaps some video games. You took shower and put on some comfortable clothes — beige cardigan you stole from Mark clearly too big for you and some black trousers pairing it up with brown coat. You left the apartment and as soon as you did the irritating voice in your head reminded you about your debt. Hesitant at first you shook off the feeling quickly and knocked on the door. This time you were prepared for teasing, you were expecting it even so you wouldn't be caught off guard. At least that's what you were telling yourself. Your neighbor, however, didn't act the way you expected him to. Instead of smirking at you and teasing you or straight up mocking you, he seemed nervous. He had deep purple bags under his usually sparkling eyes. Perhaps he didn’t feel well... you wondered whether you should ask him if he needed some help. You decided it would be extremely awkward and so you cleared your throat and spoke up — softness now somewhere in your voice.

"Is that bad time? I can come later I just wanted to give you back your money.."

"N-No." He started nervously "I mean no. It's fine. I'm actually glad you're here. Would you come in?"

You didn't want to come in and it must have shown on your face since he continued.

"Come on. I don't bite." He smiled warmly and it seemed much more normal than the timid self he showed you seconds ago. And so you came in curiously looking around his own apartment. It was a mirror image of your own in terms of room placements — a hallway leading to living room with opened kitchen. You came into the living room and Jinyoung rushed after you quickly turning the TV off. You didn't pay it any mind since you were looking around and taking in how different was his home compared to yours. It was very modern and yet it kept the homey feeling. Yours on the other hand, well it was raw yet full of stuff? Mark would probably call it unfinished and cluttered. Your neighbor sat on the other side of the couch leaving quite a lot of space between the two of you and run a hand through his hair. He wore a cardigan very similar to yours both in color and style in fact it could be the very same brand and style it’s just neither of you noticed it.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"I wanted to apologize." He responded quickly and gained a surprised look from you.

"Apologize?"

"Yes about yesterday…I shouldn't have said those things in public I could say I just didn't know about your situation but it’s no excuse. I’m truly sorry." he paused. "You don't have to be stressed about press or rumors though. It is my café and my staff, so they won't talk about it with anyone I took care of it." You took back everything you said, you weren’t prepared for meeting him, especially not getting apologies from him. On top of that he was the owner of your favorite café...

"I… it's fine." You said confused and tried to act as normal as possible while being very aware of your palms spread on your thighs. They were unnaturally clammy. It was a surprise to you, you rarely got any apologies and you were expecting some more teasing not something like that. Your eyes were everywhere except on him and you were screaming at yourself internally to say something, anything, but nothing was coming to your mind. Once again you lost your ability for forming witty sentences around him or in that case any sentences. There was awkward silence between you and you immensely regretted coming to see him today. You weren’t used to this. Somewhere in your belly you could feel as if butterflies - or rather moths — yes, moths of anxiety were fluttering their wings desperately trying to get into your chest. You never felt like this before. You tried to avoid looking at him but your own eyes betrayed you and fell on Jinyoung only to find out he was enjoying your anguish. His brown eyes were glimmering and his lips formed half smirk that he tried to cover with his left hand in a gesture of propping his head up. Immediately irritation came to you burning all the fluttering wings in the pits of your stomach. A frown formed on your face and you send him a glare. Wondering how could you be so stupid and fall for his act.

"You're really cute when you're shy or embarrassed." He chuckled now mocking you openly.

"I can't believe I took your apologies as sincere." He chuckled again clearly pleased with how you responded.

"They were sincere. I just enjoy teasing you."

"Could you stop? That's inappropriate you don't even know me."

"What do you mean we are neighbors and soon to be friends." He smiled broadly and for a second your mind travelled somewhere else simply admiring his beauty. You cursed his handsome face it could blind and charm everyone really. You wanted to leave, no you needed to leave. It was stuffy in here.

"I'm here for a reason." You reminded him, he was watching you with amusement. It felt almost as if a cat was observing you.

"Ah right... money." his tone seemed inattentive somehow. "I don't need it. Let's say it was a part of my apology."

"Just give me your account number and take the money."

"I don't remember it." You were getting more irritated every minute you talked to him.

"You don't remember your account number?" This man was unbelievable. He shrugged.

"You can send it to me through KakaoTalk if you really want." He smiled and took out the phone from the pocket of his pants. 

"Fine. Just give it." Not wanting to spend any second longer here with him, you scanned his qr to add him quickly and transferred the money.

"Done. Now if you excuse me."

"Of course." He smiled again and you felt mocked by the sole action of his lips shooting upwards. He walked you to the door and watched as you slipped on your shoes. You tried to look as cold and dignified as possible but still tripped over the doorstep. He caught your arm firmly and straightened you. Your heart was beating so fast and hard all you could hear was blood pumping in your ears in fact you were sure he could hear it as well. On the other hand whose heart wouldn't when you almost fell face first, right…? Right? It surely wasn't because of his warm breath now tickling the crown of your head, nor the dangerously beautiful eyes... you absolutely regretted coming here today. It was foolish of you to think your cursed neighbor wouldn't shake you up today. And he was still holding you — how awkward is that; and you felt fine with being hold like that — what on earth was wrong with you? You started to think that maybe it would be better if you'd actually fell and hit that stupid head of yours.

Jinyoung was having very dangerous thoughts. The kind he didn't have in a very long time. He wasn't prepared for this kind of proximity. He was already shaken up yesterday by your touch and closeness he only held your hand for a second or two. Maybe he didn't show it but he was. Honestly he wasn't even into PDA or flirting with someone or even thinking of flirting with someone. Yes, he liked teasing, and he teased you but it was in a FRIENDLY manner. Well it was safe to say he didn't have friendshippy type of thoughts right now. Jinyoung reacted automatically upon seeing you fall he just grabbed your arm and pulled you his way. He was still holding your now tensed muscles, but he couldn't let go of you. He was in trance. Your warmth radiating onto him, the way the smell of your shampoo was tingling his nose, your huge doe-like shocked eyes, parted lips, soft pink on the apples of your cheeks. He was wondering how badly would you kill him if he asked to kiss you right now. He was seriously considering it worthy asking even if you were to pull out his tongue like you threatened yesterday. He didn't ask though, the rational part of his brain finally letting go of you. His own feeling were mess, but he did what he knew best — he masked his emotional disarray with some more teasing hoping you wouldn’t notice.

"Falling for me already?" He smirked even though internally he was screaming and already thinking of confiding in Jackson to get himself calmed. He was clearly the one falling and he was panicked. You rolled your eyes on him seemingly gaining the composure while he was getting stunned even by such simple gesture like this.

"You're way below my standards." You seemed annoyed. He smiled again although he wanted you to leave quickly and leave him alone with his feelings, so he can sort this out. Your eyes narrowed at him even more.

"I need to go now."

"Well, have a great day."

"Right, you too." You were so cold Jinyoung almost chuckled at it because it almost wounded him, and yet he liked it. He enjoyed teasing you too much. You were already walking to the elevator, but he couldn't help himself.

"Oh, and try not to fall when I'm not around to catch you, Y/N." He laughed and you were already frowning at him absolutely mad which made his heart skip a beat, you were really too cute when you frowned. Jinyoung closed the door before you could say anything or worse before he did. He realized he was in deep shit. He tried to think reasonably. He probably just had a crush because he spent a whole night watching movies and dramas you were starring in, he might have also accidentally watched all of your interviews and went to sleep at 6 still smiling to himself from that interview where you had to answer questions about your body in preparation for your role in that Marvel movie. The reporter wouldn't stop asking about your body and making comments on it even though you were clearly uninterested in the topic which you finally cut with your own questions. "Are you looking for some weight loss tips? You look great. Seriously what is it about? Are you trying to fit in my suit?" The last question was asked with whole whisper theatrics and Jinyoung laughed at loud at five am hoping he didn't wake you up through the wall. The suit in question was extremely fitting white leather catsuit. It wasn't the only interview in which you showed off your wits, eloquence and badassness, or how Bam would call it "swag". You were also the most attractive actress he had seen. Of course, you were also attractive when you weren't acting but on the screen... you were amazing. So Jinyoung tried to calm himself down rationalizing his earlier thoughts as simply being starstrucked. That’s what fans felt towards their idols, he was simply charmed by his own new idol. Yes that was it — that’s exactly the type of thoughts some fanboys or fangirls would have. He called Jackson anyway, he knew the designer was the right person to talk to in situations like this. 

Twenty minutes later Jinyoung regretted ever calling his best friend.

"OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO IN LOVE WITH HER!" Jackson basically yelled to the phone. Jinyoung groaned and massaged the space between his brows. 

"Were you even listening? I'm just a big fan."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night man. I’m a big fan of Christian Dior and all I can think of is making out with him." 

"Don’t compare it, he is dead!" Jinyoung yelled and his friend filled his ear in response.

 You were regretting not taking the car for shopping. The walk did help with your racing heart, and helped ease off your mind but it turned out the supermarket isn't that close any more when you have to drag home ten bags of food and products. Thankfully a convenience store was on your way so you could make a stop there maybe you'd be lucky enough to see Seoyun, buy her coffee and have a chat. You knew it was stupid, because she could've just feel obliged to say she is your fan but you still wanted to tell her about your new upcoming role. Sadly she wasn't there and so you just made a stop and sat on one of nearby benches. Massaging your palms that had those harsh red lines imprinted in them now thanks to the bags. You could swear you heard the sound of released shutter and so now alarmed you looked around but it seemed you were the only person here. You sighed, how paranoid have you become that you started hearing the cameras when there was none. Then again you were extremely lucky dispatch and paparazzi haven't found you yet. Just before you left to the USA, your ex gave this interview and your life became hell. You didn't have a day without paparazzi running after you or spying on you. The memories came to you not without acrimony and hurt. Your ex, an actor just like you, used you to create scandal and gain some popularity. You could remember how enraged and morose it made you. You didn't date anyone since then even when Mark tried to introduce you to some people. You intended on staying that way. You didn't need anyone, you had Mark, and he was enough for you. Just you and your best friend. You weren't sure how long you stayed like this, deep in your thoughts. You moved only after you fingers became stiff from cold. Somehow you managed to carry the groceries back home. You were so tired that you just counted it as your training today. You checked the time and it was one PM, perfect time to call your bestie.

"Markiee!!" You whined as soon as his face appeared on your screen.

"Y/N-ah. I miss you." He was wearing some blue hoodie this time.

"That's my line. Do you have time to talk?"

"Bruh, for you? Always. What's up?" 

"I am going to star in a drama!"

"What? I thought you hate those." He was genuinely shocked.

"I know, I do. But this one is different. I'm not playing the villain I got female lead, and she isn't some damsel in distress she is a badass character!" You almost screamed and he chuckled.

"Woah. Someone's excited. I'm so proud of you. So who is getting the privilege to be cast with you?"

"I don't know yet. I'm supposed to meet the cast next week." He nodded his head and smiled. "Anyway what are you up to?"

"I was actually thinking of playing Among Us and streaming wanna join?" He grinned.

"Absolutely, prepare to get wrecked Tuan." You used to play together at least once a week when you were in the USA, his fans loved you and shipped you even though you both told them you were just friends — it is some rule in the internet though, to ship close friends.

Few hours later you were once again killed as the first person, this time by Mark.

"YOU GONNA REGRET IT WHEN WE’LL MEET TUAN. I SWEAR I’M GONNA WHOOP YO ASS..." You screamed on top of your lungs and Mark laughed wholeheartedly, while his chat filled up with hundreds of LOL’s and LUL’s.

"You guys she threatens me. Someone make a clip and send it to the police once they find my dead body." He kept laughing and you couldn’t help but laugh as well. His smile and laugh were just too contagious.

"You really put our friendship to test lately Tuan, here I was foolishly trusting you when you killed me in cold blood. " You stretched and your stomach rumbled reminding you that you haven’t eaten yet and it was already around four pm.

" Hey don’t hate the player, hate the game. "   He shrugged and winked, while you rolled your eyes.

"Okay Mark, I gotta go and eat. It’s already afternoon here."

"Sure, chat say bye to Y/N." They did as he asked and it was soon filled with many hearts and goodbyes. "Love you Y/N! Call me soon." He grinned and you smiled warmly.

"Love you too Mark. Bye guys!" With that you logged off the discord, and switched off his stream. You make your way to the kitchen and took out the ingredients for kimchi jjigae you bought before. You carefully read the recipe opened on your phone and began cooking. You had to make anchovy stock first so you grabbed some dried anchovies, kelp and slashed the daikon in cubicles — it looked quite awkward as each cubicle was different size but hey it was you eating it not some kind of culinary critic. You added water and left it to boil deciding to take care of the rest of ingredients. You cut some kimchi and ate some as a snack and reward for not ordering food today, sliced some green onions, cut the pork and the tofu as well. By the time you were done it was time to strain the broth and add the rest of ingredients. It had to cook so you decided to watch some TV in the meantime. You turned it on, it was some kind of reality show where idols were supposed to camp in the wild for a few days. The idols clearly didn’t feel like being there and the fact you knew neither of them didn’t help. You dozed off before you noticed, your eyelids getting as heavy as iron. The smell of burning woke you up. You shot upwards from your couch and rushed to the kitchen, bumping into a coffee table on your way there.

"FFFFFF-UUCK." you hissed, when your shin pulsed with pain. You quickly grabbed the pot with stew to get it off the fire, forgetting it would be hot as well. You hissed in pain and let id drop on your marble floor which was now covered in burned kimchi and some other things. "Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fucking shit." You cursed as you tried to navigate to the sink to ease off the burn with some cold water. The cold water did help and you sighed with relief only to later follow it with a sigh of resignation. You had to clean up this mess. It was when your phone barked — a new message. You checked it.

From Unknown number: Are you trying to burn down the whole building?

You furrowed your brows confused, wondering if it was one of those jokes or spam messages you heard about.

To Unknown number: Who’s this?

From Unknown number: Guess.

You huffed in disbelief.

To Unknown number: Ok, enjoy being blocked.

From Unknown number: Wait!

From Unknown number: It’s Jinyoung.

To Unknown number: How did you get my number? Never mind I’m blocking you I’m too busy to deal with you.

With that you put the phone back in your pocket and began cleaning up. You finished in no time now tired out by scrubbing. You sat on the floor and took out your phone to check it out. From Unknown number: Don’t block me what if you need my help one day.

To Unknown number: With what exactly?

From Unknown number: What if you get stuck in your bathroom and need someone to let you out?

You rolled your eyes and saved his contact

To Devil: There is at least 7 billion more people I’d rather ask to help me

From Devil: Ok then what if I get stuck in the bathroom and need your help.

To Devil: I’d leave you there

From Devil: Heartless

To Devil: Better tell me how did you get my phone number

From Devil: You gave it to me when you scanned my kakao code

You were bewildered, was that his plan from the very beginning or were you just paranoid? You were either prejudiced or he was in fact the devil with angel's face.

To Devil: Did you lie about not remembering your account number?

From Devil: Maybe

You couldn’t believe it, the audacity, the smugness. You could feel irritation building inside you but you decide to let it go when your stomach rumbled at you aggressively. After eating you took shower, read a few chapters of The Vegetarian and fell asleep.

Next week passed quickly but in the feeling of anticipation as you were supposed to meet the rest of the cast as well as the scriptwriter and director at the meeting on Friday. You kept calling your manager throughout the week trying to find out who could they be, but he didn’t know anything or didn’t want to tell you. And so you spent the week on training, running, reading and occasionally calling Mark to express your impatience and excitement. You didn’t meet your irritating neighbor even once this week — something you counted as blessing or perhaps a sign that the universe finally turned your karma around. It was finally Friday and you were already sitting in the meeting room waiting for everyone to come in. You smiled at the young man sitting next to you, he was really cute and had this mole under his right eye it added to his charm. He was about to introduce himself, when someone came through the door and greeted everyone cheerfully. You couldn’t believe it. You were cursed, actually cursed.

"YOU?!" was all that left your mouth upon seeing him entering the room.

[imaginesmai]

Chris Evans - Banana’s new friend

Requested by @captainchrisstan​, hope you like it! This is another part of the Banana’s series! You can read this without reading the previous one, since there isn’t a plot line, just our favourite plushie making another appearence 

Bananas 

Banana 2: Banana’s worries

Plot: little Nathan is the new addition to the Evans-Y/L/N family, and Banana is having troubled feelings, along with Claire.

Warnings: I don’t know shit about little babies and births, give me a break.

“I don’t wike it”

In any other situation, it would have been funny, because Chris and you had a bet going on to see how many times she could say it in day. And since he had won the last one, you wanted it for yourself. But it wasn’t funny, because Claire wasn’t laughing neither was Chris, neither were you. No one was laughing in the Evans-Y/L/N family that night, because you were exhausted from more than twelve hours of labour and a whole day in the hospital.

Chris was exhausted too, if not more than you, because the poor man had been running from the hospital to your house all day, taking care of Claire while picking up the stuff you needed.

Both of you blinked your tired eyes at the little girl, who was pouting and had her arms crossed. Nathan gurgled something and drooled on the floor.

“What – what do you mean?” Chris attempted to laugh, but it came out too awkward. “He’s not an it, baby. He’s Nathan, your little brother”

“Well, I don’t wike him” Claire corrected herself and let her lower lip slip even farther from her mouth. “Take him back. I wan’ a differen’ brothe’”

Little Nathan didn’t react to his sister’s word, but kept making baby noises and drooling all over the same spot of the floor. He was wearing what you thought was the most cute onesie you could have found, with little Captain America’s shields all over the cloth, and Claire loved everything that had to do with it.

She had been so, so excited to meet him, that she hadn’t slept through the night, and had begged and begged to his uncle until he had taken her with Chris. After a week in the hospital, that was all she could talk about. And finally, when she got to meet him in the lobby of your home, she said that she ‘didn’t wike’ him.

“Claire, that’s not nice” you said, from your position behind Chris. He was crouching down in front of Claire, who was standing in the first step of the stairs and looking at the baby in her daddy’s arms. “We can’t change Nathan, he is your little brother and that’s final”

“But I don’t wike him!”

You gasped surprised at her sudden rage outburst, because apart from the occasional tantrum thrown from the toddler phase, she was a calm child. What surprised you the most, however, was when she threw the Banana plushie, who she had been dying to show to her little brother, to Nathan’s face.

Chris was fast enough to avoid it hitting the baby’s face, but still it collided with his tummy, and even if it was made of soft cotton, it disturbed the baby from the little daydream he was having. So the screaming started.

“Claire!” you and Chris shouted at the same time, while he raised up and cuddled Nathan to his chest. The small baby cried and sobbed so loud that you wanted to do the same. “You can’t do that!”

“Banana hates him!” she screamed back to you, and ran to pick up her plushie. “And I hate him too!”

You weren’t fast enough to catch the sobbing little girl that ran up the stairs to her room, and closed the door with a loud kick. The four year old girl screamed from her room so hard that you heard her over the sounds of Nathan wailing, and your eyes got glossy.

For so long, you had had the impression that everything had been going well. Claire had overgrown her fear of being forgotten because of the new addition to the family, and she actually helped to make the nursery and always bought something from the toy-store for him. And now, it seemed that everything had gone to hell.

“Oh my god” you cried out, and sat where seconds ago Claire had been. “That went so bad”

“Well” Chris sighed, and walked over to sit with you. “At least she threw Banana at him, not some other toy”

“Yeah, that makes it so much better” you rolled your eyes at him. “I feel so much better now. Thanks babe”

“Okay, I get it” he sat down besides you, and kept bouncing up and down the crying baby on his shoulder. “Do you want me to go and talk with her?”

Just the thought about having to face again a crying kid made you want to dig yourself in a hole and never come back, so you nodded and closed your eyes tightly. There was a constant pain on your lower regions because you hadn’t wanted to stay anymore at the hospital, and the doctor had allowed it as the birth hadn’t had complications.

“Go and rest for a while” Chris leaned down and kissed your forehead.

You looked up at him, and actually felt pity. He had dark black bags under his eyes, cracked lips and his head was a mess. There was stain of mayonnaise on his shirt, the same he had been wearing for a whole day, and he still had one sock from each colour. But you felt like dropping dead on the wooden floor, so you nodded.

“But wake me up in an hour or so” you smiled at him and kissed him. He didn’t taste like heavens and angels, but more like morning breath and coffee. “I have to breastfeed monster number two”

“Monster number two seems to be sleeping” Chris looked down to Nathan, who had his shirt fisted by the part of the stain and his little cute mouth open in a perfect O.

“Alright” you yawned and couldn’t get your hand to cover your mouth, just let Chris do his usual stuff and stuck his finger on your mouth. You stopped yawning and sent him the best bitch glare you could manage. “I hate you so much. Not even after pushing your son out of my vagina you give a break”

“What can I say” Chris shrugged. “Banana told me to do it”

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Your ‘no more than an hour’ nap turned out in a five hours sleep, and by the judge of your breast hanging out of your pyjamas’ shirt, it seemed like you had slept through the feeding. You took a few long minutes to wake up, feeling much better than when you went to bed. Judging the sun up in the sky, you estimated it was around noon.

Loud snores were coming from the bathroom, and with just propping un on your elbows, you could see Chris’ slipper popping from there. You swallowed a laugh and smiled fondly. Putting on your own slippers, you rose from the bed and walked to the bathroom.

As you had anticipated, Chris was sleeping there. He had his pants and underwear down, sprawled down on the toilet seat and his legs open wide. You didn’t have the heart to wake him, because only God knew how many minutes of sleep he had had in the previous day. So you turned off the main light, picked up his phone from the floor, closing the tab 100 ways of living without sleep, and let the door a bit open so that he wouldn’t wake up in the dark.

Of course, all that after taking a picture that would haunt him in his sleep.

You tiptoed out of the room, closing the door behind you. You debated between locking yourself in the bathroom downstairs and drown in the bath until Nathan cried for you, and choking on food on the kitchen. But while you did so, you notice something else.

There was the initial cry of a baby begging for attention, that you knew too well because you had trained yourself with Claire, who had the lungs of an opera singer. Yet as soon as it started, it was over, and then there was a giggle. Something shuffling in the living room and a thud, and you were almost throwing yourself through the stairs to call the police or the firefighters.

What you found, wasn’t what you expected by any means.

“See, this is how you ‘old him” Claire talked in what she thought was a whisper. “I know Banana is too big, but it’s ‘kay. You’ll grow”

Claire was sitting in front of Nathan, who probably had been sleeping in his new crib. You didn’t want to think how she had gotten him out of the crib and in the sofa, and your wanted to think even less that it had been Chris who left him there.

Nathan looked at the banana plushie and then at his sister, making a small gurgling noise. He let Claire put the toy on his lap, and his eyes went wide against it. He moved his little arms and legs up and down, until Banana fell to the ground and Claire jumped behind it. You were ready to jump in and tear Claire away, because she was hell protective about her toy and wouldn’t let anyone touch it.

But she giggled again, put the plushie on the couch and jumped back, crawling to her brother. She pressed a kiss on the side of his head and smiled at him.

“I wike you, by the way” she muttered. “I’m sorry fo’ before. But you can’t tell mommy, because then she will put tha’ smile and I don’t wike it. You will understand, don’ worry Nathan”

What was left of your pride after letting a bunch of doctors look at your vagina dropped to the floor. Chris was always mocking you on how you were the most prideful person in the world, and how you had the ‘I won’ smirk that managed to get on everyone nerves. You hadn’t thought anything about it, but that Claire had noticed to made you mad, because he was right and you weren’t.

“I hope you aren’t allergic to bananas” she muttered as she took one of his little hands in his. Nathan was dozing off again. “Cause then I’ll have to get rid of you. Like in the TV”

You sat down by the stairs and leaned your head against the wall, smiling proudly. Claire kept talking to Nathan softly, as if she knew he was sleeping and couldn’t be disturb. Maybe, in the years to come, you would have to worry about Claire throwing Nathan off the high chair because he didn’t like Bananas, or about them not sharing his toys.

But you got the feeling, as you dozed off in the stairs, that everything would be alright.

Want to know more about me? Here is my Masterlist! Feedback is always appreciated!!

[togastan101]

All along | Dabi x reader (Soulmate AU)

I’ve had this idea for a Dabi fic for so damn long and finally decided to write it! I don’t think it’s my best work yet but I at least tried to put my idea into words (big oof) 

In case some people don’t know, this soulmate AU is where the first words spoken to you by your soulmate is tattooed on your wrist (and I also added my own twist at the end) 

Hope you all like it <3

Warnings: Angst and swearing

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Soulmates. Your one true love. Apparently, the words carved on your wrist is supposed to be the first word they direct towards you. Most people wear their tattoos with pride but people like us hide it; trying to forget they even exist. Do people like us even deserve love? That’s a question I ask myself every time I take a glance at my wrist.

That look on your face doesn’t suit you, babydoll

Those are the words written on my wrist. I find it repulsive but the child inside me wonders to this day if i’ll ever meet them. How would I react? Would I cry? Laugh? Run away? Who knows. All I know is I don’t deserve this one true love. After all, villains don’t deserve anything.

« It’s almost time for the meeting » I mutter to myself.

It’s a rare occasion that Shigaraki Tomura, the leader of the league of villains and my boss, summons me to a meeting. I’m never summoned to meetings since i’m just an information gatherer so this must be a big deal. As I get ready to leave but i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror on my way out. Pale skin from not going out often, dead eyes that have seen stuff they aren’t supposed to witness, dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep, unkept hair.

« I look terrible »

I quickly glance away from my reflection. Now was not the time. On my way to the bar, I wondered about the people in the League. I had never met them before. The only time I saw them was on TV. There’s my boss, Tomura Shigaraki, who’ve I met in person only once and Kurogiri but that’s it. Time flies by and i’m now standing in front of the door. As I slowly open it, people’s head start to turn. I look the side and decide to rest against the nearest wall.

Shigaraki speaks up « Now that everyone is here, let’s go over the plan »

As he explains stuff I don’t need to know, I take a look around. There’s Kurogiri behind the bar listening to Shigaraki. Next to him is Himiko Toga. She’s quietly humming to herself while playing with her hair. Twice and Mr. Compress are against the wall opposite to the bar. They sometimes ask questions about the plan or comment on it. Spinner is in the corner playing a game. As I look to my left, I make eye contact with burning blue eyes. He holds eye contact with me for a few seconds, smirks and looks away. If I recall his name is Dabi. 

« Now, that’s where you come in (Name) » Looking away from Dabi, I look at Shigaraki.

« When they’re occupied with us, I want you to get to their archive room and steal a document named DT-648 » I nod at him.

« Now this will take place in about a month so all of you better be ready » Shigaraki says « (Name), it’ll be easier to give you information if you’re here so you’ll be staying with us. » 

And with that, Shigaraki gets up and leaves. I guess I don’t get a say in this. I sit on a bar stool towards the back and look at my phone. From the corner of my eyes I see Toga approaching me.

« Hey hey! I’ve never seen you around. I’m Himiko Toga, it’s nice to meet you! » she says while getting in front of my face from across the bar. I look at her deadpan and don’t say anything back. She puts her head on her hands and just stares at me for a while. « Hehe, there’s not many girls here and you’re so cute! Can I have a taste of your blood? ». Deciding not to give her attention, I look back at my phone. « Heyyy don’t ignore me that’s not nice! ». She takes my hands in hers and puts my phone down. « Do you talk? Are you mute? Why are you ignoring me? » she says while pouting. « Sorry, I… don’t like talking » I say quietly. She makes an O face and just smiles, still holding my hands.

« That look on your face doesn’t suit you, babydoll » I hear someone say from my left. Realizing i’ve seen these words before, I look at my hidden wrists. No way. This can’t be happening. I look at who said these words and meet with Dabi’s blue eyes. Why? I don’t want this. I… I need to get away.

« Don’t be mean, Dabi! I think she’s cute the way she is! » Toga says. While she’s distracted, I yank my hands away from her grip and walk towards the backrooms. I look for my room and when I find it, I lock the door behind me. Why? WhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhy? I slide down the door and rest on the floor. I remove the bandages covering my tattoo and read it over and over again. 

« I never wanted this… » I whisper to myself. I can’t let him find out about this. Thinking through every possible option and outcome, i finally find the right one.

« If these words are the first words directed towards your soulmate… then I just don’t have to say anything to you »

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It’s now been a week since I’ve been staying here. Most of my time here was spent with Toga whose been sticking to my side the entire time. She would do all the talking and I would just listen to her and nod and say the occasional word here and there. I let her do what she wants with me. She often plays with my hair, brushing it and doing hairstyles. I think her favorite thing to do is cuddle. She often takes me to the couch and hugs me or puts her head in my lap and asks me to play with her hair. She says it comforts her. On the other hand, Dabi occasionally say a few words to me although most of it is just flirting. I mostly just ignore him.

One night, I couldn’t sleep and decided to head for the bar. As I get there, I wasn’t expecting to see anyone but there stood Dabi, drinking some whiskey.

« Not often I see you up this late » He says.

I look at him for a few seconds. Something’s up. His blue eyes aren’t mischievous or flirtatious. They just seem… sad.

« Take a picture, it’ll last longer » He says while smirking.

Although this might work on most people, I can see through his facade. Normally, I would just walk away but deep down I know I can’t leave him like this. My actual self is screaming at me to get away but I don’t. 

Dabi is very closed off about himself so I doubt he’s willing to talk about whatever is bothering him. Thinking about ways to help him, I remember Toga telling me playing with her hair comforts her. I slowly approaching him and take his hand is mine. He looks at me curiously. I pull on his hand, indicating him to get up. Without saying anything, he gets up. I lead him to the couch and show him my lap.

« Heh, that’s a bold move coming from you. If you wanted me on your lap, you could’ve of just said so »

I glare at him and tug him closer. He sighs and puts his head on my lap. Slowly, I put my hands in his hair and delicately pet it. It’s so soft. No one says anything but it’s comfortable. I don’t know how long we stayed like this but it was nice. The child inside me wondered what it would be like if he knew, if I should tell him i’m his soulmate. I quickly erase that thought from my mind.

══════════════════════════════════════════════════

It’s now been a month since i’ve moved here. Things have mostly been the same. Dabi and I, however, have gotten closer ever since that day but I still keep my distance. He’s been talking to me much more than before and the nightly head playing have almost become a daily thing. Dabi would just show up in my room and drag me away from whatever I was doing so I can play with his hair. I do think it’s out of character from his usual self but we don’t talk about it. After all, we’re all humans, we need to get away from reality sometimes. 

We are all getting ready for the mission. I decide to not wear my usual bandages that cover my tattoo since it would just get in the way and my sleeves hides it. The plan is for Shigaraki and the group to go in the main lobby and cause a distraction while I sneak in the back to steal the documents. Toga wishes me good luck and they depart. I sneak in the back and hide in a tiny room. I open the door just a bit to see and hear and giant explosion. People start rushing towards the sound. This is my cue. I wait for everyone to leave and run towards the archive room quietly. As I reach the door, I enter the password combination and search for the document. After digging for a while I finally find it. When i’m done, I’m supposed to regroup with the others. I head outside from the back and go towards the front of the building where everyone is. When I enter, it’s pure chaos. Dabi is burning people to a crisp and Toga is slashing everyone getting in her way. Shigaraki sees me enter and I hand him the document.

« Alright, let’s leave before the pros arrive » Shigaraki mentions to the rest of the group.

As we’re about to leave, I hear a sound coming from behind. On the ground was a man half burnt. I look at what made the sound and the man pulls a gun from his pocket and aims it towards Dabi. Dabi turns to react but it was too late. Quickly I run in front of Dabi, shielding him from the bullet. I scream from the pain it produces on my back. Dabi catches me in his arms and I hold on onto his jacket as I slowly fall on the floor. 

« O-Oi! You didn’t have to do that! Why did you do it!? Holy shit- you’re fucking bleeding too much… Shigaraki go get Kurogiri! »

In the background I can hear Shigaraki screaming for Kurogiri to get there but all I can focus on is the pain in my back.

« God, that was so fucking stupid. Don’t worry you’ll be fine. Just stay with me, I- » Dabi cuts himself short. I look where his gaze is looking at. My wrist. 

« No… No fucking way. Are you kidding me, shit! You… You knew all along didn’t you? »

I decide to finally say my first words to him.

« I knew all along »

« Why didn’t you tell me?! Why didn’t you tell me you were my fucking soulmate?! Hey! Stay with me goddamnit! Hey! »

I smile up at him. My first genuine smile in a long time. I close my eyes knowing I probably won’t wake up.

« No. Nonononono this is NOT happening. FUCK! »

Slowly, the words on Dabi’s wrist fade away as my life comes to an end.

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[repressedqueen]

I love your acc & your humour and stuff but you love call me by your name? the main couple is literally an adult and child, how is that good

First of all, thanks for the kind words about my teeny tinyaccount. 😊 I didn’t expect people noticing me…

As for your question, I am gonna use it to state my opinion onthe subject and one suspicion/theory I have, as a psychology student. Eventhough nobody is gonna see it now, so many months after the movie was released. I clarifyI don’t mean to offend you or anybody who doesn’t agree. These are just mythoughts.

Before moving on to my thesis, I should answer your particular question: how come and I love cmbyn? I don’t see an adult and a child in the main couple. I see two young people, with incredible chemistry, falling in love in a beautiful place, surrounded by sweet supportive people. the acting is FLAWLESS, the directing is perfect, the cinematography in amazing, the feeling is unique. that’s why I love it. It’s a matter of taste I guess.

The first time I heard some people had an issue with the agedifference I actually… laughed! It sounded so strange to me. First of all, I seeno child in the movie. Elio is 17. SEVENTEEN. He is a teenager ABOUT TO BE ANADULT. He was a child a loooong time ago. So I don’t understand how some peopletalked about pedophilia. It’s out of the question.

So. He is not a kid. Period. But yes, he is under 18.  He is, however, over theage of consent in his country and in most other countries. In Italy the age ofconsent is 14. NOT EVEN 17! In my country it’s 15. You can google any countryyou want to find out. So Elio is considered by law capable to decide if and with whom he can have sex with.

As for the difference overall, it’s 7 years. Whether it’ssmall or big, in my opinion, depends on the age of each partner. If one is 12and the other is 19, then yes, it’s a huge problem, both moral and legal. Ifthe one is 30 and the other is 37, then there is nothing worth talking about.  

In Elio and Oliver’s case, they are both two young people.Oliver is 24. HE IS YOUNG TOO. I don’t know why some people forget that. He mightnot be drowning in an ocean of teenage hormones that lead him to use peaches for selfpleasure, but he is not a creepy old guy drooling over an innocent teenage boy.Twenty-four, especially for men (god help us women… wrinkles come much faster),is an age of youth, energy, romance, experimenting and truly living. I seenothing creepy or immoral in their relationship. Let’s not forget that Oliver wasn’tthe one to make the first move. He didn’t groom the underage Elio. Elio chased after him because he was deeply in love with him.

The main reason why the whole issue sounds funny to me is becausea relationship between a teenager and a young adult is like the most commonthing! Both in real life and in movies/tv series/books etc. I can’t know about Americaor other places, but in most parts of Europe, including my country, many girls andboys who are like 15 to 17 date people that are over 18 up to 25 or more. It’slike the “usual”, especially for young girls in heterosexual relationships. (that’s where my theory comes, but hang on for now) 

As for the fantasy world, in most shows with teenagers, suchage difference is very common. I’m gonna put ‘The 100’ as an example because it’smy fav and quite popular. Octavia (17) and Lincoln (mid-twenties) were one ofthe most popular couples. My otp, (they haven’t been a couple yet, but that’s a whole other story. the important thing is that they have potential and a HUGE fandom), Clarke is 17 in season one and Bellamy23. Almost the exact same difference. I’ve never heard any complain in terms oftheir age. I’m  sure there are many otherexamples through the tv show history and in movies. I like movies but I don’twatch that many and I have a really bad memory, but I’m sure there have beensuch couples, I just can’t remember one right now.

In closing, there is one thing that comes to my mind every timeI hear about the whole situation. I don’t think it’s really the age that bugssome people, but the genders. If it was a young girl and an older boy in themovie, I don’t think there would be many complains. The base of the problem maybe unfortunately, once again, homophobia. The idea that a boy in his teenageyears seems vulnerable and could be tempted to try sex with the same gender is whatfrightens some people. And that shouldn’t be happening in 2018. 

**THIS IS JUST A THEORY,DON’T @ ME. I repeat, I’ve studied psychology and I’m just making some assumptionshere. Doesn’t mean I’m right. Not saying that everyone who had a problem with the movie think likethat, not trying to throw shade on anyone. These are just my thoughts. And Imean no harm.**

[wishbone-md]

An MS3 Guide to Internal Medicine Wards

I want to do internal medicine. I scoured the internet for guides on how to knock this rotation out of the park. Here is yet another take on how one can do well on this rotation, even if you don’t want to do IM. 

I ended up honoring it and making 92nd percentile on the shelf. There will be a separate post on how to prepare for the shelf.

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Preparation

I got up early every morning to preround on my patients. When I first started rotation, I started off with one patient. I typically carried 3 patients and went up to 4 towards the end of my rotation. Get there earlier than you think you need because it sucks to scramble to prepare your notes for rounds only to find out that the plan for the patient changed in the interim. I got to the hospital around 7:15 for 9 AM rounds. 

If your institution still uses paper lists, print copies of the list for everyone on the team and make sure to have the most updated version for the attending.

Read up on your patients on Up To Date. This will help you on pimping and on the shelf. If you have a new patient to present, you can shine by looking up differentials for your patient’s symptoms and presenting them. You can also check out all the treatment options on UTD and present the main ones as well. The key to standing out on rounds is being the one to put yourself out there to propose a plan for the patient, even if it ends up being wrong. It’s easy to just regurgitate what your resident’s note says. At least you tried to integrate your previous basic science knowledge with the clinical side. 

The topic of studying will be covered in another post.

Rounds

Have your presentations down cold. There are many guides online on this topic such as this one by @pleasedotheneedfulhttp://pleasedotheneedful.tumblr.com/post/149283514726/how-to-write-a-cohesive-patient-notepresen-tation

It’s hard to figure out each attendings’ preferences such as how detailed they want you to be on the presentation or if they like walking rounds. Ask around within your class, the MS4s, or the residents. 

For the most part, they want focused presentations that concentrate more on the plan for the patient. Some want to know all of the labs and vitals. Some want only the highlights. You also need time to read all of the consult notes to see their recommendations.

Know when to ask questions. Always try to look up the answer to your question if you have time before bothering anyone with it. Definitely keep them to a minimum if it’s a post call day and your list is long. If I was getting pimped, then I would be more likely to ask more follow up questions around then because that means we’re in education mode. You want to ask enough questions to where you appear engaged but not so much to where it gets annoying. But don’t be afraid to ask questions even if it’s really busy if it will impact patient care. I tend to ask questions while walking in the hall during walking rounds but I also ask during table rounds depending on the vibe of the room.

Pimping. It is okay to not know the answer. Always try to make a guess, even if it’s a stretch. I have said I don’t know plenty of times. I’ve seen fourth years who don’t know the answer. I’ve seen residents and fellows who don’t know the answer. Most attendings I’ve dealt with have been pretty nice if I don’t know. I think pimping can be good so that it it keeps me on my toes since the fear of God is put in me. A great phrase is “I don’t know but I will find out and we can discuss it later on.” I remember questions I’ve gotten right and especially the ones I’ve gotten wrong that everyone else on the team knew except for me.

Making a good impression

Ask for feedback. I get super anxious about possibly hearing negative things so I hate doing this. At my school, preceptors evaluate you on if you asked for feedback, how you handle criticism, and if you actually tried to improve. Try to ask 2 weeks in or so about what can you work on to improve things like your presentation, differentials, treatments plans, history collection, ect. They will notice if you step it up or if you continue on. They will definitely notice you if you slack off after getting good feedback initially.

It’s not just about impressing the attending. The residents and especially the senior resident are the ones in contact with you the most. I only interacted with the attending on morning rounds. The residents give their feedback to the attending for your evaluation. Yes, we are close in age to the residents and yes it’s great to have fun at work. I love joking around and have an occasional streak of dark humor but I don’t swear, talk about the times I’ve been intoxicated, complain about the work we have to do, or complain too much about the patients. 

Don’t freaking text during rounds, especially while in a patient room. Yes, people still are getting in trouble for that. 

After rounds

Check on your patients. Most patients and their families don’t really know what’s going on because we storm in there as a group during rounds and then abruptly leave. It’s always great to double back and check their understanding of what’s going on. You as the student are usually the person on the team that’s the closest to the patient in terms o medical knowledge. Once they have an understanding of the disease process and why we treat them with whatever treatment, then they can hopefully keep it up after discharge. 

Stay organized. I had a patient list that I wrote notes on during rounds of things to do particularly focusing on my patients but including things to do for other patients. The residents will really appreciate it if you help update the list, remind them of orders that need to be put in, and notify them of any results/consults you’re waiting for. So I refreshed my patient charts all day long to make sure everything was there. When we see an abnormal critical result or consult recommendations and update the residents, we are helping to expedite care. 

I really can’t stand doing random clerical stuff like making appointments or filling out paperwork but just make yourself volunteer to do it. My school is trying to cut back on using medical students for this.

Do not lie. If you didn’t check something on your physical exam or forgot to ask a question, own up to it. It’s embarrassing but it’s better than being caught in a lie or your made up information ends up affecting the treatment plan. You won’t get any more responsibility if they can’t trust you.

Extra

Read the literature. My attending specifically mentioned that he expects this from honors level students.  This is how you step up your game. You want to show that you are trying to elevate your knowledge. You’ll definitely get style points for referencing the literature when you propose your treatment plan by citing statistically significant results from randomized control trials. For example, one of my patients had refractory C diff that wasn’t responding to traditional antibiotics of vanc per rectum and PO with metronidazole or with fecal transplants. So I needed to step up and look into other options that we can talk about on rounds.  I read some articles on newer therapies that were compared to gold standard therapies. I summarized the studies in a few sentences so that everyone can be on the same page. Then we talked pros and cons. Another example is that if your patient is on some newer drug you’ve never heard of, you can look up what it is, the mechanism of action, and major indications. Then present a very brief FYI on it as it will help educate your team. Definitely be cautious as to how often and when you try to educate others as it may come off as overbearing or if it may put your team behind schedule. You do not want to appear as a know it all or that you like to hear yourself talk because it’s hard to shake that impression.

Preclinical material professors seem to like gunners, at least in my experience. It’s way different in the clinical setting because you’re surrounded by people who’ve been in the game longer than you. All of us know how to pick out a gunner. So word will spread fast if you’re terrible to work with and then you end up on the Do-Not-Rank list.

You are not going to get a thank you for everything you do. Don’t take it personally. Except if someone takes credit for your work, so in that case they can fuck right off.

The <1/15/50/85 rule. A fantastic pimp deflector. If you are being pimped on some statistic and the pretest probability seems to be very low, say < 1%. Low probability then 15%. For example, if someone asks you what percentage of strokes are ischemic and you feel pretty confident that the vast majority of them are ischemic, then say 85%. Usually you’ll be pretty close.

The most important things

The most important thing is to advocate for your patient, regardless if an attending is around. 100% of students has thought about how they wish an attending could have seen how hard you work day in and day out but that’s not gonna actually happen much. The patient will remember how you treated them and all the things you did to help them.

Teamwork makes the dream work. Even if you can’t stand people on your team, you have to suck it up because the ultimate goal is patient care.

It is okay to take some time off to yourself. Some nights, all you can really do is watch TV and drink wine on a post call day or after doing not that well on a quiz you didn’t have time to prepare for because you’re freaking exhausted working 6 days a week.

[eldritchsurveys]

o12.

Have you ever sold anything online either on Craigslist, eBay, Amazon, etc.? If not, what is your website of choice like any of the above for buying things? >> Nope. My website of choice for buying things is Amazon, I guess, just because it’s easy and they have so much shit. If the opportunity arose, would you ever go to a nude beach? Do you think you’d be comfortable enough, being naked among others like that? >> Yeah, I’d try it. I suppose it couldn’t be all that bad, if everyone else is nude too. Levels the playing field, and all. But I wouldn’t want to like... sit on stuff butt-naked. Like, that’s the main thing that bothers me about just walking around nude -- I don’t want to put my unprotected parts on stuff, bruh. So... yeah, I guess I wouldn’t stay long for that reason. At least let me put some bikini bottoms on or something, damn. What was the last book you read? What about the book drew you to want to read it (plot, title, cover…)? Did you end up liking it? >> Dune Messiah. What drew me to it is that it’s the second book in the series I’ve dedicated myself to reading, so it was just the logical progression. I did indeed like it. Have you ever considered keeping a dream journal? If you have one, have you ever looked back on it at all of the odd/interesting dreams you used to have? >> I try to keep one, but my dream recall is very sporadic and unpredictable. Sometimes I look back at what I do have, yeah. Do you think regifting is cheap, or is it okay? Have you ever regifted before? >> I wholly approve of regifting. I think it makes more sense to give something to someone who will actually use or appreciate it, rather than hanging onto something just because... what, someone gave it to me? Like, I appreciate being given the gift, because the thought really does count to me, but if I’m not going to use the thing, then why would I let this perfectly good object go to waste just collecting dust in the closet or something when I can give it to someone who’ll actually enjoy it???? LOGIC

How often do you wash your hair? What do you think when you hear of some people not washing their hair for weeks at a time? Is it healthier, as they claim? >> Every couple of weeks or so. --Well, seeing as I’m one of those people, I don’t think much of anything, because it’s normal to me. I don’t care, this is what works for me and I’m going to keep doing it until something else works better. Do you think President Obama should stay in office, or is it time for a new president? >> Damn, bruh. In general, do you like/get along with your mother’s or your father’s side of the family more? >> --- Have you ever seen an animal give birth? Have you ever had a pet give birth before? >> Yeah, and not my pet but my friend’s pet. I’ve also seen a cat eat its kittens! It was very enthralling. What do your plans usually consist of on Christmas morning? Are they the same this year? >> These past two Christmases I was at Sparrow’s parents’ house, and I guess the first time it was novel and exciting, but the second time I was way over the performative-ness and those people and just... blaaagh. But I assume I’ll be doing the same thing this year, probably day-drinking and trying not to talk to anyone. Do you like iPads/tablets or laptops more? E-readers or books? >> I mean, I use my laptops almost exclusively. And when it comes to books, I really don’t give a damn, man. I use both at my leisure. If you don’t get much snow where you live, do you wish you did get more snow? If you do get snow where you live, do you get a lot? Do you like snow? >> Enough snow falls in West Michigan that I am usually quite sick of it by March or so. Also, winter has a habit of outstaying its welcome to a depressing degree, so by May I want to die. LMAO. --In general, yeah, I like snow, but like... moderation, man. If men could get pregnant too, would abortion still be as big an issue as it is? >> Hm. What is something you want to try to accomplish within the next year? >> I’m not sure. Have you ever had to “come out” to your parents about anything (sexual orientation, change in religion, etc.)? How did it go? >> I tried to explain being trans to my father once, lmao. It was actually pretty funny, because I was like, explaining hormone replacement therapy to him, and he was just like “.... hunh.” Like I think he was mostly just confused, lmao. But I mean, in general, I’m an adult. I don’t have to tell him anything about my life if I don’t want to, so it’s not a big deal. Do you ever get drunk by yourself? >> Yeah. Who else am I supposed to get drunk with, besides the people in my head? But I’m mostly over getting drunk, anyway. I mostly just drink until the light buzz now, and then stop there. I’m still thinking about whether getting ritualistically drunk (with Wednesday, for example) is a thing I want to continue... I’m not sure yet. I think if I do, it’ll only be with specific drinks (like maybe this 1000 Stories wine, which I still think he put into my hand in the first place), to further emphasise the ritual boundaries and also to control it a little (liquor is temperamental and the delayed release doesn’t help either, but wine is easier to control). Has there ever been a time where you’ve forgotten something extremely important? >> I mean, yeah, sure. Describe the last time you were infuriated. >> Infuriated... I feel like the last time I felt that way was because of some bullshit in the PixelCount Discord. That’s why I left that shit, I got tired. What’s the most unusual kind of pizza you’ve ever tried? >> I’m not sure. If you were given the chance to decorate an entire house the way you wanted, with no limit to cost, how would you decorate it? >> I’d need some time to think about that. If you could have any kind of lava lamp, what kind would you have? >> Any kind? I’ve never had one at all. What movie do you know by heart? >> I used to know Labyrinth pretty much backwards and forwards, but my last rewatch was a long while ago. I need to get back on that train. I know the songs of The Prince of Egypt pretty well, and some of the dialogue. I used to be good with The Crow but it’s been a long time for that one, too. Has there ever been a time where you thought you were going to be great friends with someone, but it just never happened? >> I don’t think so. What’s one of your favorite things to touch/feel? >> Certain kinds of stuffed animal fur. How often do you wear tights? >> I don’t. If you had to choose, what’s the most important thing in your life at the moment? >> I don’t like to rank things like this. Do you have Netflix? >> I do. How much money would you have to spend before you felt really guilty about spending that much? >> Hell, I feel guilty about spending $2 at Redbox (”but I can just wait until it’s on Netflix, or pirate it!!! this is a Waste” shut the fuck up, goblin brain, life is short). Has there ever been anything you’ve become interested in much later than other people? >> Yeah, lmao. I’m kinda slow sometimes. Why is your favorite TV show your favorite? >> LOL I keep forgetting to mention Metalocalypse as a favourite, too, but man, my feels about that show are legion. I love it because it’s hilarious, but also because I really actually care about this silly fucking death metal band and their longsuffering manager and the Doomstar that will herald their ascension and... just everything. I love that show so fucking much and I miss it every day of my life. Grey’s Anatomy is my favourite because it really hits me in the feels, like... I don’t cry about a lot of things but I’ve cried at half the Grey’s episodes I’ve seen. It just really does humanity well... like, it has some of the most honest and compassionate writing that I’ve ever seen. It’s an utterly amazing and heartfelt and joyful and sorrowful show and I’m so glad I started watching it. Person of Interest is my favourite because... wow. Again, amazing writing, just amazing. Such complex and emotional characters, and the whole Machine thing is just... right up my alley, man. An artificial superintelligence learning to truly appreciate humanity for what it is, like... I don’t know. I don’t know. It hits me right in the gut. I still get choked up about the ending of that show. God. Describe your favorite picture of yourself, or post it. >> I don’t have a single favourite photo. Is there a genre of music that some people would be surprised that you enjoy? >> Probably not, if they know anything about me. Assuming you have a Facebook, if one of your friends posted things that annoyed you, would you be more likely to delete them as a friend, hide their statuses, or just put up with it? >> I’d hide their statuses for a while, but if it got so I was never looking at their page, I’d just unfriend them. What’s the point, then? Have you ever had a veggie burger? >> Of course. Do you like candles? >> Yep. What’s your favorite video game? >> Pillars of Eternity, Dragon Age, Elder Scrolls, Guitar Hero, the list goes on. What was something you liked about today? >> Fuckin H O T GATORADE, god. fucking... god. LMFAO. When was the last time you passed out? >> I don’t know. Do you think “friends with benefits” relationships could ever possibly work without anyone getting hurt? >> I’m sure someone’s gotten it to work. Like, it’s a big world out there. Do you wear more sweatshirts or jackets? >> Hoodies. What was the last thing you had to drink? >> I had like half a Backwoods Bastard. I didn’t even finish it, it’s still on my desk. When was the last time you wore a sports bra? >> The last time I went out. When was the last time you went to a water park? >> Never. Does your best friend live close to you? >> --- Have you ever rode a train? >> I’ve ridden many a train. Where did you get the shirt you’re currently wearing? >> I’m just wearing an undershirt. This Night Vale hoodie used to be Sparrow’s. When was the last time you played Rock Band? With whom? >> It’s been a while. I usually play Guitar Hero because the guitar controller is more compatible with it. There’s a slight difference in how shit registers on Rock Band that messes me up a lot, and I haven’t felt like dealing with it. But I miss the RB songs, so I might try to make it work at some point. Maybe I just need to calibrate my shit. What was the last thing that you ate? >> A pack of those Captain’s Wafers crackers. The peanut butter and honey ones, the best kind!!!! I’m so glad I finally found a Meijer that sells the boxes, goddamn, finally. Who last messaged you on Facebook? >> Uh... probably my cousin Kythe, with another fucking chain IM thing. I’m about to block her ass, lmfao. What were you doing Saturday at 1:30 pm? >> I don’t remember. The last time you were intoxicated, what were you drinking? >> Mango-pineapple vodka and orange juice. It’s so delicious, too, and that’s the fucking problem -- I drink it because it tastes good, and next thing you know... Who last walked you home? >> --- What do you do to help your face from breaking out? >> Wash it. It takes care of the rest on its own. Did you make any new friends lately? If so, what are their names and how did you meet them? >> --- Would you rather see your favourite band/artist in concert with 2 other people or have a free $20,000 shopping spree to Walmart? >> What on earth am I going to buy at Walmart for that much money, lmao... I’d rather spend that kind of money somewhere else, so I guess I’d take the concert. I’d choose a band that doesn’t come to the US often. >:3 When was the last time you went out to eat? >> When I was in Chicago. On a scale of 1-10, how anxious are you currently? >> Er... 1? What kind of music do you listen to? >> The audible kind. What does your perfect day consist of? >> Meh. Do you have any online friends? >> Whatever friends I do have are online. Would you dye your hair red? >> Sure. If your ex wanted to take you back, would you say yes? >> I mean, that’s basically what happened innit lmao :B How is the weather? >> I don’t know, mild, I guess.  

[charleecat-bat]

Fandom Meme

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

Uuuh, well, lemme think, for fantoms that aren’t sonic stuff, I enjoy Retsuko and Haida because adorable. Angus and Gregg from NITW is too adorable for it’s own good. 

Sonic wise, well, I’m not strong on my ships but they’re are some I do think about or do think are matching, I think Shade and Knuckles are a good match, I enjoy Espio and Tikal, especially in my canon. 

I do love Locke and Luger a lot though, since I can see them working in my canon, but other then that, I’m not huge on ships so eh. 

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

Locke and Luger, mainly because they were related but then with some fanart and talking with friends of mine, especially @terraqua111, I started to like it and my friends had a point that they were too distantly related for it to matter anymore. She also showed me Lien-Da and Xenin which I liked. 

I also didn’t consider Locke to be paired with anyone else before Luger, then I saw @lockewat‘s ship, Chuck and Locke... and I thought it was quite suiting as well. 

Two other ones are Vanilla and Big because that was so adorable and that would be such a peaceful relationship good god it’s what they’d both need, so many picnics for dates. and @motobugg did some work on Rouge and Wave which I have never considered and I immediately thought... damn that would actually work a lot. XD Also Shadamy at some points due to a friends artwork and Shadow would be balanced from Amy’s personality that he would need.

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will. I’ve never been big on Julie-Su and Knuckles, in the comics it felt kind of forced to me, same with Sonic and Sally, that I don’t see them suiting each other at all. 

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

Ummm, I don’t know, I can’t think of one. 

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh, I don’t know. 

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

Sonic fandom. XDD Been in that for around 8-9 years. Since I was 9 or 10 years old. 

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

I think it would’ve just been Shade and Knuckles. lol Again ships aren’t my life. 

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

Mainly ongoing stuff, I know it started with games, so I guess games? But I enjoy shows/series as well. 

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

Ummmm... not that I know of. 

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

Animal Crossing? I didn’t start playing the phone game until I saw people talking and reblogging stuff about it, then I tried it. 

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Well, in Steven Universe, a lot of the character have great arcs, that who their true opinions and colours, like how Amethyst had self-hating habits, Pearl didn’t think she was worth much, and seeing Peridot’s growing into a whole different gem, it’s really cool.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

I’ll go with um... Lars from Steven Universe, I didn’t like him much as a character at first, but I could understand his insecurity and being unsure on how to act and how to show himself, and being scared to show his true colours... but now he’s showing his own worth and letting himself be who he is with the Off-colours, which I can genuinely appreciate about him, he’s much better as a character now. 

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Can I say the entire brotherhood? XD I would love that like you wouldn’t believe. 

N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

Just more Brotherhood content in general, uuuummm more monster-related AU’s? I don’t know, maybe more merchandise too? I don’t know I’m not all that demanding about content. o-o I’m terrible at this. 

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

All the Way (Jacksepticeye fan song) is the one that came up on shuffle, and it reminded me of Hawking, at least my version. I could imagine he would listen to this to motivate himself or something like that. 

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

...Trying not to say Monster AU for any sort of fandom CRAP TOO LATE-

But what about a Shape of Water-esque AU? 

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

I haven’t really abandoned any fandom? o-O R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

When they’re not a couple and they’re just best friends, Locke and Luger I guess, they act like big dorks. I don't know, I don’t think about relationships much besides family ones. 

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

Hmm, well, I feel while Locke doesn’t know what his main sexuality is right now, he’d feel he’d be in writing (sexuality)/Asexual, as he never really had sexual feelings, he only had sex in order to have his son, and he honestly never liked it all that much. 

I also have a head canon that Steppenwolf is afraid of humiliation, or just making a fool of himself in social situations (he’s got a very well hidden social anxiety), so if he saw a bunch of people staring at him and whispering to each other, he’d instantly become worried about what he did. 

Another head canon is that I love to imagine Sabre can swordfight very well, and the person who taught him is surprisingly Tobor. As he was very good with a sword and shield combo back in the day (before his injuries). 

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

That Steppenwolf is a werewolf okay not really, I’m not really about strong head canons that I would ‘die defending’. I just like the thought of him being one because it’d be ironic for his name... and it’s just with me for so long man. 

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Steppenwolf (Sonic Fandom I guess)- I still don't fully understand why I liked him, I simply did but nowadays I just find the character I made him an extremely interesting character and every time I’ve wrote something or drawn something to try and cheer myself up, it made me feel he’d be a very strong, protective and oddly supportive in his own way. I’m not sure. I’m weird. 

Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe Fandom)- I just want her to be happy, I find her really interesting, her powers are really cool and I just want to know how things turn out for her, it just sucks that she tends to disappear for long periods of time. 

Angus (Night in the Woods)-He’s a bit underrated but he’s just so cute to me, especially with how others draw him, I love his character and I feel bad for him when he takes about his abusive childhood and issues growing up that made him who he is today, made me want to give him a big hug. 

V - Which character do you relate to most?

Well, I feel I can relate to Angus at a few points, always feeling like I have to be the responsible one, being usually quiet and wanting to hide in corners in parties (and your friend that you stick to is your corner in those situations), 

I also feel I can relate to Retsuko from Aggretsuko, always trying to keep calm and from losing my temper, also Mister Ton kind of reminds me of my dad at some points... and he can piss me off just as much as he does with Retsuko so yeah. 

Part of me also feels like I relate to my version of Rembrandt, he’s an artist, he deals with a lot of emotional issues, he’s insecure about his body size/weight, very motherly/fatherly and protective. 

I dunno. 

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

Annoying characters that think they’re full of themselves and practically perfect while thinking everyone else is below them and everyone is unworthy of their ‘greatness’... or mary-sues. 

Or just a needlessly dramatic moments or moments of anger and arguments that don’t need to happen. 

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Kind of the big strong protective one with a heart of gold and is very loving whether they show it or not, or big ass ones who are strong as hell but are really just gentle giants.

And probably monsters stuff like werewolves or stuff but sometimes that can backfire and become annoying. 

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

Team Fortress 2 is one, have a few friends who like that game while I don’t like it much anymore for personal reasons, some horror fandoms like Five Nights at Freddy’s, Little Nightmares all of that. Idk

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)

Umm... I always strive to make my Guardians unique in different situations, hell, I imagined they were in certain AU’s or in certain video game situations, like a fighting game, I’d like imagining like ‘finishing moves’ they’d have or the type of weapons they’d have, or even simple stuff like hobbies or favourite foods. Just stuff like that... and I will try everything in my power to be unique, like in my Gem AU, wanted all the gems to be different and at the least unique, and the same with the Monster AU, only Thunder and Steppe’s are the same but they have a difference. 

Okay that’s enough. ^^; This was really difficult surprisingly. 

[wenamedthedogkylo]

Tagged Yo

Name: Briana, but I go by Bree and sometimes Bryn

Gender: Genderfluid (65% female, 30% nonbinary/other, 5% male)

Star sign: Capricorn

Height: 5′ 8″

sexuality: Bisexual

What image do you have as wallpaper: A pic I took in FFXV of Ardyn which looks like he stole the camera and took a selfie. It’s my lockscreen and my wallpaper.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?: In like 2nd grade, cause all the boys in my year were trolls and I was sick of them. We don’t talk about it. Or 2nd grade in general, it was a bad year.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years: It’d be nice if I was settled in a successful acting/writing career, but the way things are going who knows.

If you could be anywhere else right now, where?: England. Preferably London. Unless we’re talking, like, LITERALLY anywhere, including places that don’t exist, cause then I’ll take Middle-earth or Eos.

What was your coolest Halloween costume: Uh... hm. Tough. I’m gonna go with my Phantom of the Opera Red Death costume sophomore year of college, because I made the mask myself. It was based on the movie version, obvs, and of course it was far from perfect, but it still turned out awesome and since it was also for a class, I got the highest grade on that mask-making project. So booyah. But in high school, I was Darth Vader, Eric Draven aka The Crow, Batman, and then I was gonna do The Joker (Dark Knight version) but I could only get the makeup and scars and not the suit, so my friend lent me a purple fairy costume and I was a Joker Fairy. I won a costume contest.

What’s your favorite 90s show: Uhhhhhh... I suddenly forgot literally all 90s shows. I didn’t really watch TV in the 90s, so... hang on lemme look some up. Okay uh... Dexter’s Lab, Powerpuff Girls, I really liked those. Um, Freaks & Geeks was pretty good? Oh, Friends is pretty classic. 

Who was your last kiss?: I literally have no idea, it’s been years lmao

Have you ever been stood up?: Not that I can think of, that sort of requires someone to ask you out, ya feel me?

Have you ever been to Las Vegas?: Once, my freshman year of college. My bff from high school’s mom paid for us to go see Avenged Sevenfold at the Hard Rock Café, only it was RIGHT before my very first finals. So obviously I said FUCK IT cause finals week was Thur-Wed, and I didn’t have any finals until Monday at 8:00 AM. So we flew out Friday morning, went to the concert Saturday night, and flew back Sunday. And then I went to my final hating the world but happy for the experience. Since I was still 17 at the time, we didn’t do any gambling or drinking but neither of us wanted to anyway so it was all good.

Favorite pair of shoes: Whichever one I’m wearing the most at any given time lmao

Favorite fruit: Probably mangoes, I really can’t resist them

Favorite book: The Hunchback of Notre Dame, followed closely by the Inferno from The Divine Comedy, Frankenstein, and Dracula.

Stupidest thing you’ve ever done: Only one thing? Jeez. Um. It’s either a) the time I stuck a prop necklace for a play I was doing in a floor socket, nearly electrocuted myself, destroyed the necklace the day before opening, and looked like a moron in front of my cast and crew, all because my brain literally went, “hey, this part of the necklace is flat! I bet it would fit in that slot on the socket!”; b) the time I tried networking at the place I was temping because I wanted them to offer me a permanent job, and ended up so drunk that I passed out on the MAX home, stumbled off a stop, fell over and puked on my boots, and had to be taken to the emergency room; or c) the time I was at a band trip up the river in high school and wanted to swim across the river with my friends, forgetting that I was a scrawny weakling until I was at the mercy of the current, nearly got run over by a jet boat, and was so tired by the time I crawled to the rocks on the other side that they were already ready to go back across, I had to rest, and then almost drowned trying to swim/float my way back over because I was so tired. Straw poll, what do you think was the stupidest?

Hogwarts House: Ravendor, it’s really a 50/50 split at this point

Hours of sleep: Who the hell knows anymore? Usually 6+, often 12 because ~my brain doesn’t work properly~.

Blankets you sleep with: Preferably like one or two sheets, a comforter, and maybe some soft throws on top of that, but I’m not picky anymore.

Favorite Bands: Panic! at the Disco and Fall Out Boy are probably the top right now, also Imagine Dragons and WALK THE MOON probably, and Golden Bough which I’ve listened to literally since I was born. And I guess you could count Vitamin String Quartet. I don’t really listen to music that required bands much...

Favorite Solo artists: I actually listen to more solo artists than bands, but still less than just classical and instrumental. Faves are probably Lady Gaga, David Bowie, The Living Tombstone, Kesha, Andrew Bird, Sia, and Syrano.

Song stuck in my head: O-FUCKING-KAY LET ME TELL YOU, so for the last like two weeks I’ve had three songs cycling through my head and I wanna die. Bitch Better Have My Money (okay, not bad, it’s a fuckin awesome song); Tunak Tunak (SWEAR TO GOD WHY, WHY DID IT COME BACK TO HAUNT ME); and to my utter horror The Living Tombstone’s “W* *r* N*mb*r *n*” remix (I WANT TO FUCKING DIE AND IT’S @chocokweehn‘S FAULT)

Last movie I watched: Alice in Wonderland (1951), I got nostalgic

Why did I create my blog: Someone on the ProBoards RP I was on posted a gif, and I was like 😱 what is this soRCERY? WITCHCRAFT?! And so I boogied over here and just started exploring. And I’ve been here ever since, just cause I liked the format and the reblogging and the Idk the community feel? And now I’m trapped like the rest of you lol.

What do I post: Basically anything I think is worth it. Humor, politics/activism stuff, art (mostly others, sometimes mine), fandom stuff, pretty things, Idk just whatever.

When did I create my blog: Like early 2011? I think February 2011, I’d have to check which I don’t know how to do

Do I have other blogs?: So fuckin many, mostly RP blogs, but the main other ones are @peredhelhathladring, which was my last URL that I wanted to save so I made it a Star Wars only blog (which is funny cause the URL is in Sindarin, a very not-Star Wars language), and @breerps which is my writing/RP/inspiration blog.

Do you get asks?: Now and then.

Following Blogs: 1,836, and honestly so many are probably inactive and I need to go cull them but who has the energy for that

Favorite colors: Dark red, dark purple, black, and gold

Lucky numbers: 7

Instruments: I played flute from 5th grade to I think sophomore or junior of high school, then switched to alto saxophone from then to freshman year of college. I still have my instruments, I just haven’t lived anywhere where I could play them without disturbing other people. I’ve dabbled with piano and guitar for a long time and I have a keyboard that I plunk at sometimes.

What am I wearing: Black t-shirt, black, gray, and pink fuzzy pj pants, and Star Wars socks

Dream job: Actor and writer

Dream trip: Paris, specifically to Notre Dame

Favorite food: Chocolate. Just, yeah... chocolate.

Nationality: American

Followers: 1,441, with blocking all porn blogs lmao

Reasons for your url: Because I’m Star Wars trash, and I was thinking about how Indiana Jones named himself after the dog and was like how funny would it be if Kylo Ren did that?

Tagging: @aceofaces20, @comepraisetheinfanta, @maiievshadowsong, @arcanerogues, @hey-hey-shutthefuckup, uh yeah just whoever wants to

[alley-cat-sunflower]

Pretending to have been tagged by @yuutolovesturtles​, who left it open-ended, because I just love talking about myself. (Also because I don’t know how to make the font all tiny-like on my own, so I’d like to save this for reference…)

The Last

Drink: Water.

Phone call: My supervisor, nitpicking church bulletin details.

Text message: Received? My mom telling me she was on her way home. Sent? Confirming that I received the message.

Song you listened to: The main battle theme from FFXV: Episode Ignis.

Time you cried: Half of yesterday as well as half the day before.

Have You Ever

Dated someone twice: I don’t really “date” people, but I have had a crush on someone, gotten over it, then decided to give it a try years later anyway.

Kissed someone and regretted it: Not really.

Been cheated on: Not to my knowledge.

Lost someone special: Kinda sorta not really?

Been depressed: Almost all the time. Trying to get better.

Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve never been drunk or even tipsy because I don’t like alcohol enough to drink it fast enough to feel anything. Also, being emetophobic, the possibility of throwing up is one of the main reasons I don’t drink.

3 Favorite Colors

Indigo

Scarlet

Cerulean

In The Last Year Have You

Made new friends: Yes, a couple. Started talking to the best lead at the dance hall, and now we’re pretty close. Had a classmate last semester who showed me more about myself and the world around me, but he’s missing in action at the moment. Working on making friends among other classmates this semester, too.

Laughed until you cried: Yes. I think the last time had something to do with my wonderful and ridiculous boyfriend, but I can’t swear to it.

Found someone was talking about you: Yes…? What does this mean?

Met someone who changed you: Absolutely; the aforementioned classmate.

Found out who your friends are: I guess? Expanded my circle a bit.

Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don’t really use Facebook that often, but considering my boyfriend has one, I’d say so.

How many Facebook friends do you know: Why would I have any FB friends I don’t know?

Do you have any pets: Three cats at my dad’s house.

Do you want to change your name: Not really.

What did you do for your last birthday: Had a minor nervous breakdown, nbd.

What were you doing at midnight last night: Writing things I really, really shouldn’t.

Name something you can’t wait for: Final Fantasy VII Remake!!

When was the last time you saw your mom: Like, a few minutes ago? She just went into the garage to rearrange some stuff.

What are you listening to right now: “Valse di Fantastica” from Final Fantasy XV.

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: That’s one of my cousins, so yeah.

Something that is getting on your nerves: Walt Whitman.

Most visited websites: Tumblr, YouTube, various wikis (for research purposes).

Hair color: Brown.

Long or short hair: Long.

Do you have a crush on someone: I’m honestly not sure anymore.

What do you like about yourself: Hard to find anything these days… I guess I like that I’m passionate about things, even if they’re not exactly the ‘right’ things. And I like my writing ability, even if I tend to misuse it.

Blood type: I don’t know, actually.

Nickname: Alley or Alley Cat, in internet circles.

Relationship status: Not sure of the exact parameters as of now, but taken.

Zodiac: Wood Boar with Snake ascendant; double Aquarius with Aries rising.

Pronouns: She/her.

Favorite TV show: I don’t watch a lot of TV… Monty Python’s Flying Circus?

Tattoos: None. Might get the planetary symbol for Uranus someday, though.

Right or left-handed: Right.

Surgery: None to speak of, and I don’t want any either.

Sports: I can’t play any to save my life, but I like watching San Francisco Giants baseball. Except for last year. Last year royally sucked.

Pair of shoes: Like, my favorite? I wear the same damn pair of leather boots every day.

Eating: Just had dinner, courtesy of my mother. Salmon, spinach, and rice with mushrooms.

Drinking: Water. Considering tea, though.

Waiting: For the FFXV Royal Edition content to download so I can face Somnus and learn more Ardyn backstory. I know, I know, I’m trash.

Get married: That’s crossed my mind a lot lately, since I recently wrote a wedding and have a couple more marriage-related fics on the back burner, but… I don’t know. That’s a question for another, less unstable time.

Career: I wanna be an author and/or editor someday. I’d love to be able to make money just writing my stories. The main issue is finding the motivation to write out my original ideas instead of hyperfixating on fandoms…

Which Is Better

Hugs or Kisses: Depends, but I’d say hugs overall since there’s only ever been one person whose kisses I have thoroughly enjoyed.

Lips or Eyes: Eyes, typically.

Shorter or Taller: Not like I have a preference, but a lot of my best friends are tall.

Older or Younger: Doesn’t much matter to me. It seems like most of my inner circle are within a couple years of myself either way.

Nice Arms or Nice Stomach: I don’t pay attention…

Hookup or Relationship: Relationship for sure.

Troublemaker or Hesitant: Bit o’ both. Fuck Mars in Pisces.

Kissed a stranger: Noooooooope.

Drank hard liquor: I don’t like alcohol.

Lost glasses/contact lenses: I can’t fuckin see without ’em, so no.

Turned someone down: Roughly once a year or every couple years, for some reason, but I’ve been fortunate to avoid any… untoward encounters. I don’t go out of the house. I don’t put that much effort into my appearance. I don’t go out of my way to socialize. Where did I go wrong?

Sex on the first date: More like “sex within the first year of dating” amirite? And the answer’s still no. It might’ve edged a bit closer to ‘maybe’ within the first few months of knowing someone else, but idk whether that’s changed or not; haven’t seen him in several weeks.

Broken someone’s heart: I… might have? I don’t think so, though. The people who give me their hearts are pretty resilient. I’m usually able to convince them to give them to me platonically instead, and then we’re all happier.

Had your heart broken: Nope. I have been turned down before, but I’m the only one allowed to break my heart, thank you. It’s easier that way.

Been arrested: God, no. Never even been in legal trouble. *knocks on wood*

Fallen for a friend: Nnnnot really? Normally, they’re fairly new faces. My boyfriend was my friend first, has been for seventeen years, but I didn’t really “fall for” him.

Cried when someone died: Oh yes.

Do You Believe In

Yourself: Now and again.

Miracles: Depends on the definition.

Santa Claus: Not anymore.

Kissing on the first date: I mean, clearly it happens? Just not with me?

Also not tagging anyone, because I am the slayer of tag memes; they always end at my doorstep. But this one was actually really fun, so if you wanna do it, please do and tag me! I’m living proof you can get away with taking someone up on that offer!

[kelmcdonald]

A Year in Review 2017

New Post has been published on http://sorcery101.net/news/a-year-in-review-2017/

A Year in Review 2017

Hi everyone,

So it’s the end of the year. I have been looking back over the year to make my goals for next year. Last year I posted my goals on Patreon for the highest backer level. It’s a level that no one ever backed at. I don’t know if the price was too high or just general lack of interest. But I liked writing those posts so as long as I have time, I think I’ll start posted some edited versions of them free on my site each month. Before I started doing that I thought I’d post a public behind the scenes wrap up.

2017 was rough and exhausting. That’s true for a lot of people.

I tried to stick to my professional and personal goals anyway. I also tried a few experiments to see how things would work out.

Last year, I had a few business/income related goals. I wanted to focus on building my Patreon, my newsletter, and my store. I wanted to get rid of ads and do less cons. Ads are ugly and hard to track down bad ones. Cons I want to do less of because they are exhausting to me. I don’t think I’ve ever got creative burn out but I definitely get hussle/promo burn out. It’s been taking me longer and longer to recover from cons. So anywhere that I can get money which isn’t from cons if great.

A lot of my site redesign was to push those things.

My newletter is I think the most successful of those goals. I got a good few hundred folks signing up from my website and a bunch of folks signing up after my kickstarter. Next year I’m gonna try to focus on making it better. I few people asked for highlights from the blog here as well as promo. But I’m still taking suggestions if anyone wants to leave them in the comic. Right now it’s just promo but if I don’t have promo that month I end up not knowing what to write.

The shop getting pushed more, I think it did better than last year but I haven’t crunched the numbers yet.

Patreon didn’t go very well this year. I wanted to get more patrons there to mostly get rid of ads. I ended up making less money on patreon than before. I used to charge weekly and thought switching to monthly would help get more people on board, but I never ended up attracting enough people to make up for the difference. I tired a few different things like business posts like this one, sketch requests, and streams. At first I was posting my early comics in a big PDF but then was told more frequent posts get peoples attention more. I also tried to post more art on there. None of those really enticed people to jump on. I don’t know if people just don’t like my stuff. If I’m just not cut out for promoting a long term thing rather just doing a focused push for one big project. Either way I’m feeling pretty discouraged and after last weeks debacle with the fee change is leaving me kinda sour on Patreon. In 2018 I’m gonna try to focus on other stuff that might pay off more.

I was looking for more work from publishers and companies in 2017 too. Or more working smarter not harder with companies. That didn’t pay off in 2017 but it get me some cool stuff lined up for 2018.

But for now it looks like I’m gonna still be hitting up 10 or more cons a year.

On the somewhat creative goal and somewhat personal, I spent a lot of of this year making sure I kept up with my comic reading. It can be easy to not keep up with reading new comics and know what is out there when you are busy trying to make comics. I buy most of my comics at conventions but I got an ipad pro to be a portable digital drawing tool so I’ve been reading a lot of manga on that. But here’s some high stuff I really enjoyed and will probably write about on my blog over the coarse of next year. I read them this year but they didn’t all come out this year. The webcomics I’m just gonna link cause they are free to read but I usually just read the print collections when it comes to webcomics. So when I say I read them this year I mean the print collection.

Wilde Life by Pascalle Lepas 

Agents of the Realm by Mildred Louis

The Meek by Der-shing Helmer

Feywinds by Nicole Chartrand

Check Please by Ngozi Ukazu

O Human Star by Blue Delliquanti

A Silent Voice by Yoshitoki Ōima which is about a guy trying to get forgiveness from the deaf girl he bullied in elementary school. It’s very intense and grips with complicated questions about who gets forgiven and who decides who gets that forgiveness.

Monstress by Marijorie liu and  Sana Takeda. It’s a fantasy epic that is set in a matriarchal setting where magical humanoid creatures and sorceresses are at war. The main character is trying to learn more about an elder god type thing that has taken over her arm. It’s gorgeous and complicated and female focused. This might be my favorite comic right now.

Fun Family by Ben Frisch. I picked this up because I went to college which Ben. Fun Family is a fictional behind the scenes of Family Circus. It kinda odd but I liked it because it explores how a simple wholesome comic like Family Circus can be comforting when your home life is falling apart.

Dragon Ball by Akira Toriyama. I don’t got to tell you all what Dragon Ball is about. But I read it for the first time and really liked it. I had only seen the anime before this. It was interesting to see the source material. I thought it was a lot of fun.

Parasyte by Hitoshi Iwaki. Most anime fans know about this one too but again I read it this year. For you none anime fans alien parasites take over human hosts and replace their heads. The main character gets his hand taken over instead and he has to work with the parasite to hide from both humans and parasites. It’s an interesting mix of body horror and exploring morality.

My Hero Academia by Kohei Horikoshi. It’s about a superhero school in world where more people have superpowers and being a superhero is partly being a celebrity and partly a government job.

Space Battle Lunch Time by Natalie Riess. It’s about a cooking reality tv show in space. I was a lot of fun and very cute. It does a good job of having multiple rounds of cooking contests without getting repetitive. The main character is super charming.

Moonlighters by Katie Schenkel and Cal Moray. An all ages comic about werewolves doing magical odd jobs on their college campus.

Soupy Leave Home by Cecil Castellucci and Jose Pimenta. I picked this up because I introduced Cecil and Jose to each other. Their book is really good. It’s about a girl who disguises herself as a boy so she can run away to ride the rails as a hobo during the great depression. It’s bitter sweet and does an excellent job showing the relationship build between Soupy and her mentor on the rails.

I also liked Castoffs by MK Reed, Brain Smith, and Molly Ostertag and Letters for Lucardo by Noora Heikkilä but those both are only at volume 1 and I feel like the stuff that I’ll really want to talk about will probably happen in volume 2. My reading list is organized shortest to longest and so some have been on there for awhile. For 2018 far it’s:

As the Crow Flies by Melanie Gilman

Not Drunk Enough by Tess Stone

The Fifth Beatle by Vivek Tiwary, Kyle Baker, and Andrew C. Robinson

Vattu vol 2 by Evan Dahm

The Last Halloween by Abby Howard

East of West year 2 by Jonathan Hichman and Nick Dragotta

Drive by Dave Kellet

The Less than Epic Adventures of TJ and Amal by EK Weaver

I Am Hero by Shinsuke Sato

If you all got recommendations I’m open to em. I think it’s important to read comic if you want to improve. So while I am gearing up for my next big project I wanted to make sure knew what was out there. I have been writing about them on Patreon but I’m gonna start posting them publicly. Writing about the stuff I like is just to help me articulate what I’m looking for in stories and be more deliberate in the future. I’m intentionally not reading Marvel and DC though. So if you suggest stuff from them I’ll probably pass.

And then here are more general personal goals and experiments.

I got really unhealthy while working on Misfits of Avalon because juggling two comics isn’t super smart when when has a hard deadline. There were a few months while working on it where I basically drank ALL THE REDBULL to finish on time. I also gained 20 lbs while working on it. So a lot of 2017 was me trying to undo the damage caused by overworking.

I don’t pay a lot of attention to my weight and mostly noticed because I got faced with the choice of lose weight or buy new clothes. Excising takes more work but is cheaper. So I started biking 3 times a week and used the biking version of couch to 5k to improve. I mostly stuck with it because MK Reed was my biking buddy. We fell off a few times when con season got hectic. Then because of con season I tried to think of something that is easier to do while away. So in October after all my cons were done I gave jogging a try. I wanted to die and my throat was closing up. I couldn’t finish even half of what couch to 5k tells you to do the first day. I thought maybe I’d improve. But after no improvement for a month I went to the doctor. Turns out my lungs are all fucked up and I just didn’t know it because that was how I always breathed. Doctor gave me an inhaler which helped with running so now I can completely the first day of the program, but my none running breathing is still not as good as it should be. So I just got a different inhaler that is supposed to help with that. Otherwise I might have some expensive medical tests coming up. So fingers crossed that everything is fine.

I also tried to do some push ups at the beginning of the year. I started by doing them off my counter and then moved lower to the arm rest of my couch. But I was apparently doing them wrong so I never successfully got to doing push ups off the floor. Building muscle strength might be something I need more help with than cardio.

And while running sucks honestly the hardest thing to do was fix how bad my caffeine addiction got. I mentioned above that I drank a lot of Redbull when Misfit of Avalon deadlines got tight. Well, when I went to C2E2 last year, the time it took me to wake up, go to the airport, fly to Chicago, and get to where I was staying gave me a withdrawal headache. So less than 24 hours. I still had 2-3 months of work to do on Misfits but I made a self note that this is a problem I needed to deal with once finished. So I turned in my pages that June. Then I quit caffeine cold turkey because I’m very bad at cutting back on things. It was a miserable two weeks. But by the time SDCC rolled around I could get through a con day with only one cup (as opposed to like 6 cups).

So for health stuff in 2018, I’m gonna try to keep up the jogging and biking. Figure out what is up with my lungs. And try to get help on the upper body strength that I am lacking.

[kenshiliker]

mcfuck load of things i was tagged in going here thanks everyone that tagged me & im sorry for this Entire Mess

Also I was tagged in 3 different things that have like similar fuckign questions so im jst gonna stick them all into 1 tag bc if not you’d have me repeating my damn names 18 times and thts no fun for Anyone)

Meet the blogger meme (Tagged by @bodhierso, thank u ark!! @woehuxbub tHJANKS FAMTHER & @orsonkraennic)

i. name:  徐

ii. nickname: OH LORD I HAVE SO MANY um I’ll just put the main ones; Brucie, Jerry, Tiaan, King Dickard II

iii. zodiac sign: Sagittarius / Dragon (Chinese Zodiac)

iv. height: ??? UH I think 160 cm the last I measured but I’m not sure. Over 5′3″ iirc.

v. orientation: Ace (the helpful place)

vi. ethnicity: Chinese 

vii. favorite fruit: Orange, Strawberry and Banana, L E M O N (u fucKIGN COWARDS)

viii. favorite season: Autumn/Winter but I’m stuck in hell so guess I’ll Die

ix. favorite book / book series: I don’t read many books but I like Shakespeare’s stuff & also Sherlock Holmes

x. favorite flower: Hibiscus rosa-sinensis (this is as patriotic as I get tbh), PLANTA GENISTA

xi. favorite scent: Nothing too strong or I’ll feel nauseous. Maybe a soft vanilla? ...And maybe orange. Or Lemon.

xii. favorite color: ORANGE (funny story is that my dad’s fav colour was orange and I decided to project frm a young age and wow guess what Orange has been my fav colour ever since), White, Black, Blue, Red

xiii. coffee, tea or cocoa: T e a slorp slorp

xiv. average sleep hours: Depends on what I have planned the next day. Lately (due to exam month) it’s been about 5 hrs per week so guess I’ll die

xv. cat or dog person: I like both as long as I’m not being chased

xvi. favorite fictional characters: ghhh Bruce Wayne, Tiaan Jerjerrod, Illya Kuryakin, B.J. Hunnicutt, Freddy Newandyke, Cal Lightman, (and Duke of Aumerle & Richard II if they count,,, hte Shookspeare version)

xvii. dream trip: UK,,, Get Me Out Of Here, 

xviii. blogs created: 4 (This one, TMFU blog, Secret Shakespeare Blog & Secret Art Blog) (I haven’t posted on the latter two) (That’s why they’re a ‘secret’)

xix. number of followers: 940 here (how even the Fuck) & 1582 on the TMFU blog.

xx.  random fact: I recently sat on the hard wood floor for 10 hours straight (s/o to you if you remember this) and felt myself just physically shrivel up and die. I literally hurt everywhere bc if I wasn’t sitting down, I was laying on the ground and gOD It took me a week to feel better but yeah god 11/10 would not recommend

xxi. number of blankets you sleep with: There’s like 4 on my bed lmao I’M LIVING

xxii.  blog created: I’ve had a tumblr since like... 2010 and I didn’t really use it until 2012, 2013 was my first year I was really active

xxiii. nationality: Malaysian

Tagged by Krenny again, to answer all these questions, and then tag 15 people 5 things you’ll find in my bag: SUPERMAN WALLET, Phone, Powerbank + Cable, Earphones, Art Supplies

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom: 5000 Stuffed Animals, DC shit, SW garb, The decapitated head of Jar Jar Binks that greets the visitors, Convention merch (+4 GAY REALLY FUCKING GAY, SO GAY THAT IF MY PARENTS FOUND THEM I’D BE FUCKING DEAD, fanbooks of TMFU which are in Chinese, sent by my lovely Internet Sister)

5 things I’ve always wanted to do: Get some air-dry paper clay and make tiny sculptures or something, learn how to paint properly, have nice handwriting, visit the UK again, WATCH A PLAY

5 things that make me happy: My unhealthy coping mechanisms, my favs, my friends!!, drawing (sometimes), reading/learning about something I’m interested in

5 things I’m currently into: TIM ROTH, LIE TO ME, Shakespeare, Star Wars, DC

5 things on my to do list: Get good fuckin grades for once in my damn life aye, finish watching Lie To Me, finish reading As You Like It and Othello, finish the school year & be done with it for the rest of my life, memorise all the experiments for the physics syllabus by Thursday if not my teacher will literally grill me

and lastly, tagged by @bunn1cula​ and Krenny again! Thank u two am loaf the both of u,

the last

1. drink: water 2. phone call: irl friend that is saved as ‘Mr. Pink’ in my phone (as per their request fhghg) 3. text message: ‘👌👌’ or if chats count then:

4. song you listened to: HOOKED ON A FEELING 5. time you cried: Yesterday while watching Lie To Me 6. dated someone twice: Nooooot yet 7. kissed someone and regretted it: NOT FOR ME THnks 8. been cheated on: ?? I don’t know. Probably not. 9. lost someone special: Yes 10. been depressed: Yeah, still am, but I think it’s not so bad nowadays (hopefully). 11. got drunk and thrown up: Never

3 favourite colours

12. Orange 13. White 14. Black

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: Yeah, definitely!  16. fallen out of love: NOT YET BUT MAYBE SOON 17. laughed until you cried: GOD A HECK OF A LOT OF TIMES 18. found out someone was talking about you: No, not really. I mean, there’s an asshole in my class that loves talking shit about me but I honestly don’t give a fuck about him he’s Irrelavant. 19. met someone who changed you: I don’t really know,,, I think I’m still the same? 20. found out who your friends are: I’ve never really had an issue with anyone, really. Maybe except one or two people, but yeah, the rest of y’all are alright. 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: NO

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: About 60/93 of them. I plan to boot a ton of them after I graduate tho. 23. do you have any pets: UNFORTUNATELY NO but I’d love a cat 24. do you want to change your name: UM SURE I mean it’d be kinda nice bc I hate when people I hate tainted my name by calling it, so yea, Yes 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I don’t think I did anything at all. 26. what time did you wake up: 6.30 a.m. (gotta love tht School Life) 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: ,,,Watching Lie To Me, reading fics instead of studying for my exam, 28. name something you can’t wait for: GRADUATING and getting tf outta here. 29. when was the last time you saw your mum: Last night ghghg 31. what are you listening to right now: Stuck In The Middle With You 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I was the person named Tom once, so, yes. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: My shitty fucking class/school. 34. most visited website: Tumblr, YouTube 35. hair colour: Dark brown 36. long or short hair: Short! 37. do you have a crush on someone: Mnnn 50/50 38. what do you like about yourself: I’m kinda sorta funny & I can draw sometimes 39. piercings: None 40. blood type: A+ 41. nickname: Jerry, Brucie, Tiaan, King Dickard II 42. relationship status: Single & That’s Alrighty 43. zodiac: Sagittarius 44. pronouns: He/Him or They/Them 45. favourite tv show: RN IT’S LIE TO ME (TIM ROTH COULD FUCKIGNG LIE TO ME RIGHT IN MY FACE & I’D BE LIKE WOW UR TELLIGN THE TRUTH I BELIEVE IN U), but I also like M*A*S*H, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and The Twilight Zone 46. tattoos: I idon’t really want any! 47. right or left handed: Right

first

48. surgery: None to my knowledge, or maybe a few when I was super young bc my moves (lungs) are weak babe 49. piercing: None (my mom keeps trying to get me to pierce my ear but it’s not my thing, & also if I do get it i’ll only get one and it’ll be the Gay Ear) 50. sport: Football, I think? In any case, I’m bomb as hell at getting hit in the fucking head by the sports balls.  51. vacation: London or Australia iirc 52. pair of trainers: I don’t remember either, I can barely remember anything from 2016.

more general

53. eating: Nothing at the moment 54. drinking: Water 55. i’m about to: Nap or watch Lie To Me (I haven’t decided) 56. waiting for: My exams to be over 57. want: Nothing at the moment 58. get married: Sure? I’m not really opposed to marriage as a whole, but if it starts getting yikes you bet your ass I’m gonna fucking bounce 59. career: I don’t have a career rn but I’d like to do illustration/concept art it seems p cool. Either that or become a psychologist and charge people $30 for readings.

which is better

60. hugs or kisses: I don’t like either 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: I don’t really care. I love both short girls and guys (@tiM), and tall girls and guys are just as good! 63. older or younger: Doesn’t really matter to me either. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Also doesn’t really matter but if ur arms are good I’m definitely eyes emoji af 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: See, I’d say hesitant but I don’t really know that either. Just as long as you’re not doing some stupid shit we’re good.

have you ever

67. kissed a stranger: No 68. drank hard liquor: Nope.. Well, not to my knowledge. 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t wear either ghgng 70. turned someone down: No 71. sex on the first date: N O 72. broken someone’s heart: UH Yeah when I was 13 (how even the fucK.) 73. had your heart broken: yEP 74. been arrested: Never bc I’m a cop, Larry 75. cried when someone died: Yes. I’m okay throughout the funeral but the minute it registers that I’m never gonna see them again, I’m gooooone af. Even if I didn’t particularly like the person when they were alive. 76. fallen for a friend: YEAH!!! But it’s usually one of those new-friend crushes sourry.

do you believe in

77. yourself: I mean, Sometimes. It’s like... Can I do it? Most Likely. Did I do it correctly? Most Likely Not. 78. miracles: Not really, no. 79. love at first sight: Yeah, sure, I mean everyone’s different, so who’s to say just because I don’t feel it someone else doesn’t. 80. santa claus: No way my dude 81. kiss on the first date: Depends bc at mY AGE I’m not boutta put my face anywhere near someone else’s thts jst weird 82. angels: Mayhaps,,,, I don’t believe that they don’t exist, if that makes sense.

other

83. current best friend’s name: Mmmnnnn Kylogram (Kyle Ron), maybe? I’ve a few best friends. 84. eye colour: Dark brown, they look kinda nice in the sun I guess. 85. favourite movie: RESERVOIR DOGS, Four Rooms, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead, The Lion in Winter, TMFU, Wonder Woman, ROTJ, Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade

--

This is a big Mess, but yeA I’m tagging whoever was mentioned above & no one else bc this has gone on for long enough, to do the one you weren’t tagged in or hell do the first one if you want, bc that one is a compilation of like 3 different tag memes ghfh. Good bye u all.

(OH YEAH if ur a mutual/follower/whoEVER who sees this feel free to do if if you’d like!! Say I tagged you if you’d like to c:)

[firebirdsdaughter]

Oh, yeah!...

... How could I forget!

I’ve got my tea... (well, not that tea, not yet)... Time to rewatch the Zi-O 22 raw for rambles!

In no order:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really don’t care, Kuro Woz.

In other news, Shiro Woz was actually weirdly tolerable this episode. I fully expect him to go back to being a manipulative bastard next week, though.

Oh god, I guess I have to get used to the guy, since we’re apparently keeping him. I still say bring back Woz.5. I loved him.

Even the suit actor is doing the head tilt.

I am now significantly more concerned about that shot in the opening of Sougo walking away from the other two...

When is Trinity coming out, again? The boys will have to be getting along by then...

Now, see, they’re alone, so Geiz is like ‘okay, I can admit to having feelings again.’

Well, I guess that question got answered by the end of the episode.

I think Junichiro wanted Sougo to deliver something, but Sougo got stuck in the mirror world (also some angel put the thing about Geiz freaking out when Sougo got pulled into the window on the TV Tropes Heartwarming page for Zi-O and I thank them so very, very much), so now he’s trying to get Geiz and Tsukuyomi to do it.

Geiz was gonna straight up henshin right in front of Junichiro if an enemy came out of the mirror, oh my god. XD

EVERYONE’S EXPRESSIONS IN THIS SCENE.

I just love how Geiz goes from ‘ready to fight it’ to ‘WTF?’ to ‘Oh yeah, he’s here’ to pretty much just checking out of the whole situation over the course of a minute or so.

Seriously, Gaku’s expressions in this scene were golden. Shirei’s, too.

I think that’s her name. I’m slowly learning their names but names are hard.

Geiz is like ‘you’re an idiot, fine, I’ll explain.’ I guess the reason is that their Rider Kicks have slightly different effects. I didn’t even think of that. Interesting.

Tsukuyomi is so frustrated by Geiz’s lack of self preservation and that is very valid of her.

Hm... Okay, so having given it some thought, I think part of Sougo’s muted reactions are that he’s one of those people who projects a cheery exterior all the time and bottles stuff up. So, like, when his ‘negative’ (so to speak--like sadness, pain, anger, all that stuff) emotions show even a little bit, it’s like the tip of the iceberg. Which isn’t healthy, but it’s a possible explanation. I still wish they had made him react even a little more at the end, but that’s just my opinion.

Geiz just freaking teleported to the door there.

Geiz feels bad bc he actually considered going through with Shiro Woz’s idea. And he probably feels bad about feeling bad about that, bc he’s a soldier, and soldiers are supposed to complete their mission no matter the cost.

I guess she’s looking at Sougo, but it feels like she’s looking right at me, and even though she’s pretty and I love her, that sort of thing always makes me uncomfortable. I can’t look real people in the eye, stop trying to make me look tv characters in the eye!

Aw! There’s something twistedly heartwarming about Mirror¡Sougo tormenting Sougo about his relationship w/ Geiz. Good drama.

Also, I remain alone on the casual SouGeiz raft and it is still funny. XD

Sou Okuno remains much too cute for me to be frightened of him in any capacity.

I really wanna know what that line said. Something about Geiz and Puma Zi-O, but I don’t know.

Well, Sougo just died. (by which I mean, he fell over)

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

Shiro Woz being suspiciously tolerable. I’m sure he’ll be back to his usual manipulative jackass self next ep.

Aw! Tsukuyomi is breaking out the Hawk Droid now!

I keep getting this incredibly in depth Chinese State Farm ad and it’s hilarious.

Shiro Woz is dead now, too.

Honestly, he’s on the right track.

Yes, he is technically Kamen Rider Ryuki. By which we mean, he was Kamen Rider Ryuki, but then time got totally rewritten so that he wasn’t. Twice!

Not that I think he enjoyed it that much the first time... At leats he met Ron, though. Man, this is making me want to go back and watch Ryuki proper.

Lessons for the Mirror World: Don’t talk to your Mirror Self, it’s a bad idea. Also something about accepting yourself.

He looks different w/ short hair and older, but every now and then, he turns his head or makes a particular face, and it’s like ‘yeah, that’s him, that’s the boy.’

Shiro Woz died again.

I’m just gonna start assuming that Rider and Sentai weapons magically go back to their pocket dimension as soon s they’re thrown offscreen (thinks of all those times in Ex-Aid where you could literally hear them hitting the ground somewhere).

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

And thar he go. Goddamnit, Geiz.

Kudos to Okuno for pulling off as truly adorable and hilarious confused Mirror¡Sougo face for this whole scene. He’s just like ‘wth, dude?’

See, this is part of why I think Sougo’s the ‘hide all my ‘negative’ emotions’ kinda person. Bc he’s like ‘I’m really scared’ but he’s never shown it. Which isn’t healthy, sweetie, please talk to someone. Who... Isn’t your Mirror World self.

If they do do ‘balance of light and dark’ thing for Zi-O, I really hope they do a thing about Geiz and Tsukuyomi being his sort of ‘main anchors’ for the ‘light’ part. If that makes any sense.

Me when someone falls over in Toku ‘Whelp, he’s dead.’ Me when someone actually dies in Toku ‘Nah, he’s fine.’

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

Man, though, I hope they don’t remember the entirety of the time reset. Bc he’d have to remember dying, and she’d have to remember him dying in her arms. And they’re EIGHTEEN.

Shiro Woz.exe has stopped working.

Also, in that overhead shot, you can totally see Another Ryuga standing next to the tree before he respawns. XD ^^

Or maybe that’s a crew member. Either way. ^^ XD

Still wish they coulda given him more of a reaction, but I can justify it. He prefers to keep things in, and he probably guessed what the situation would be when he got there and was mentally preparing the whole way. Still wish we coulda had a small ‘mentally prepared but not quite ready for the real thing’ moment. I guess he does seem a little perturbed, but... Nrgh.

Spent several minutes rewatching this part, partially for angst lover reasons, and partially bc I was trying to see if I could see Gaku still breathing even though he’s playing dead. I actually didn’t notice any moments, but maybe someone else did.

God, I hope he didn’t hold his breath that whole time. Though who knows. Maybe he has the breath holding skills of an olympic swimmer.

I accidentally paused on a shot of Kuro Woz while Shiro Woz was flying into the scene to grab him and it looked kinda hilarious.

Keisuke be like ‘Hello, my suit actor!’ ^^ Poor boy over here talking to himself.

So what is going to happen w/ these two? Will the Wozes fuse? Will there be a third, true Woz? Will he not be a manipulative jerk-face? The questions are numerous.

Also, what’s the history between him and Geiz? I care more about it bc of Geiz than bc of Woz.

But also... Woz Fight!

CUTE. Makes one remember all the hijinks that went on at the office.

See? That’s Sougo reacting to something. :/

Now the other two are worried though, bc that’s a Puma Zi-O power. God, please, please don’t break up the Zi-Ot3. I’m putting my faith in you, dude who wrote Ninninger! I mean, you gave us Kinji and the Igasakis! (crap, that was the family name, right?) Admittedly, slightly lower stakes, but I’m counting on yooooooooouuuuuuu! *continues howling off into the distance for no reason*

But Geiz is straight up like ‘it’s my fault,’ the poor baby. Like. He’s not even blaming Sougo. He seems to be saying that he caused Sougo to make that choice. Bc the online translator says something like ‘led him’ to that ‘path’? Then gain, the online image translator also like to periodically translates things as ‘it’s all about sex’ and for the life of it cannot decide on what ‘Ouma Zi-O’ translate as. My favourite remains ‘the ostrich.’

Tsukuyomi apparently makes a note that one isn’t supposed to ‘play with time or someone’s life’ and now I’m like... About... Two or three of Sougou’s ‘steps’ towards becoming Puma Zi-O were bc he was trying to save Geiz? What if... What if the reason he became Puma Zi-O was that breaking the ‘rules’ of time does mess w/ your head and he kept using to to try and save Geiz from himself, or something... Like, wasn’t there some other time travel thing about the universe really trying to kill someone and someone else trying to prevent it? Like, coming back to my ‘die to prevent Puma Zi-O’ thing. If it’s something like that... Like, what if it seems like in the end that most sure way to prevent Puma Zi-O w/out killing Sougo is just letting Geiz die? I mean. He’d accept it in a heartbeat, I’m pretty sure, but if it does come to that, I’d prefer they found a third miracle option.

Of course, she could actually be saying something else entirely and I just went off on an aimless tangent.

But Geiz’s face during this talk... Like, I definitely think he's upset bc at this point he doesn’t want to kill Sougo at all anymore, and he also now feels like he’s responsible for destroying the future on one hand and starting the process that turned adorable little Sougo into Puma Zi-O on the other. My poor baby.

Also Tsukuyomi is talking directly at me again, and it is still making me uncomfortable!

And now they both stand there and look kinda sad.

Where the hell are they, anyway? Why’d they come back out here?

Shut up Kuro Woz, I don’t care.

Also, hi Kikai! ^^

And now for a completely clashing goofy promo!

I am still nervous, and the tea and shirts are ready to go, but one of the preview images looked like the boys having a normal conversation, so I’m still hedging my bets. Do right by me, Ninninger man! Not that I have anything to offer if you don’t, but, you know....

Okay, maybe I’ll buy something.

That’s all folks! Virtual lemon meringue pie for anyone who read all that nonsense. Or whatever type of pie you like. If you don’t like pie, cookies or cake or anything is fine.

Still hoping for good friendship drama. Love the Zi-Ot3, suspicious of how tolerable Shiro Woz was this ep. Suppose I’ll have to get used to him, since we're apparently keeping him. Now instilled w/ a desire to rewatch Ryuki.

Tea and shirts remain on standby.

[deltaengineering]

summer anime 2017 part 3: welcome to die

Well guess what, I ended up putting posts off for a week.

Again.

So don’t expect a lot of detail here, but do expect a lot of shows.

See also:

• part 1: we can rebuild it

• part 2: bunch of fools

18if

18if is a really weird show about a guy who hangs around people’s dreams and fixes their personal problems - sort of like Persona 4 meets Madoka’s witch mazes. This might have some visual potential if nothing else, and it tries, but what mostly sticks in the mind is that it’s very cheap and also extremely clunkily directed, with a lot of spinning camera tricks that end up looking more desperate than cool. While that does lend it a certain nightmarish weirdness, I doubt it’s entirely intentional and more importantly it makes the show not very entertaining.

Action Heroine Cheer Fruits

So someone made a Love Live clone only with solo tokusatsu performance (?) instead of idols and saving the town instead of saving the school. And the main character is Kotori. Well, silly things happen all the time, but what I didn’t expect is that an anime called Action Heroine Cheer Fruits is actually pretty damn good. Shows of this type aren’t very complicated, but Cheer Fruits nails it where it counts: The characters are likeable, their misadventures are amusing, and the writing is good enough to make me care more about what happens to this town than Sakura Quest managed in half its two-season run. It’s a bit on the cheaper side, but I don’t mind if the fundamentals are this convincing. It also helps that this is written by Naruhisa Arakawa, who previously failed to convince me with active raid but definitely knows a thing or two about tokusatu. Charming and with an appropriately light touch on its silly conceit, this is the surprise of the season.

Ballroom e Youkoso 

It’s a sports shounen! About ballroom dancing...? Well, the manga is fairly well known so the shock factor wasn’t that high here, but I have to say that Ballroom e Youkoso nails the formula, the unusual sport in question makes it less boring than said formula would normally end up being, and it looks pretty amazing. I’m willing to take that chance, if everything goes right this might end up delivering on what Yuri on Ice promised for its first three episodes. Minus the gay of course, but I’m willing to give that up for a show that’s actually consistently entertaining instead. Fingers crossed.

Centaur no Nayami

Yay, it’s another monstergirl manga. This particular one ends up splitting the difference between Monster Musume and Demi-chan, meaning that it only has weird fetish undertones some of the time. Apart from that it ends up mostly boring, because the monster stuff doesn’t really matter, yet the show spends an inordinate amount of time explaining the specific evolutionary circumstances that made this universe possible. Uh, at this point I think I can just accept monstergirls at face value, thanks. The most interesting parts are some hints of this society being not as innocent as it seems, but the other 99% of time it doesn’t seem overly concerned with that: The actual content is just rather boring slice-of-life scenarios of the kind you can get elsewhere easily. I do have to say that opening with girls actually kissing for real is a new one, even if that doesn’t really go anywhere. And that’s really the long and short of it: This seems like a show that doesn’t even really aim to go anywhere, and just isn’t good or interesting enough to make the here and now worthwhile. 

Clione no Akari

This is a 1/3 length short that mostly seems like an anti-bullying PSA. The most tragic girl in the world (sick, orphan, shy, prone to tripping over obvious buckets in the middle of hallways, etc.) gets bullied on top of everything and some other guys feel bad about not helping her. The opening makes it look like everyone will learn a lesson about tomodachiship eventually. I will be nice and say that its heart is in the right place and it’s not actually bad (only extremely hamfisted), but it’s just neither well made nor unusual enough to earn back the time spent watching it; Koe no Katachi has me covered for life on anything this could possibly do.

Dive!!

Do you like ripped dudes glistening in the sun? Sure you do, that’s why you all watched Free! and that’s why we now get another show about pool sports with too many exclamation marks in the name. High diving seems to be a pretty poor choice though, because a single dive takes seconds and this show doesn’t pretend otherwise. The filler around it isn’t very promising either; main dude mostly memorable for being a dick to his girlfriend and admiring his cool senpai instead, no homo. Oh yeah, Yuri on Ice is a thing too, you know. Otherwise you learn more than you’d care to know about the spectacularly uninteresting financial structure of the high diving club, and get to watch the water surface reflecting the sun on to toned abs. Too bad that this particular effect just ends up looking like an unfortunate skin condition. All in all Dive!! is just a poor man’s version of other homoerotic sports anime for fujoshi, and I wasn’t too fond of those to begin with.

Hitorijime My Hero

Speaking of manlove, this one starts out as a fairly engaging character study of a highschooler who hangs out with street thugs because his mother is a prostitute, until the brother of his BFF beats them all up. But then the OP happens and after that it’s pretty much just straight up yaoi tropes because now the dude’s in high school and the cool guy is a teacher, I wonder where this is going. There’s a lot of unfunny komedy and so on. Yeah nah, even a toned down Super Lovers is not what I’m looking for, and laudable opening aside this brings nothing new to the table.

Isekai wa Smartphone to Tomo ni.

I’ve been very mad at smugly ironic genre shows that wallow in the cheapest clichees while “deconstructing” them (i.e., just pointing them out as if that’s an excuse). But the alternative is, of course, just not doing that and playing it all straight without a hint of irony, and it turns out that that is significantly worse. So here’s your 24 minutes of isekai light novel: dude dies, goes to JRPG world and gets to keep his smartphone in complete working condition. Ha ha, I too wish my completely ordinary household item would make me the coolest dude in the universe. But this show goes the extra mile, because while a smartphone might get you some chicks in fantasy land, to get all the chicks you also have to have:

• literal god mode stat boosts

• ability to use all magical elements, an exceedingly rare feat

• access to an even rarer additional magic element on top of that

• the ability to create the irresistible potion “ice cream”

So yeah, this is the isekai power fantasy at its most naked, and apart from making our shitter in chief the most hax guy ever and dropping a huge instaharem on him, he goes beat up trash mobs because that’s what you do. Again, all of this without the slightest hint of self-awareness. Absolute garbage for garbage people from top to bottom, and completely fails to make said garbage fun.

Jikan no Shihaisha

This one at least has the looks down: When it’s an action show, the visuals are really, really cool. Honestly. However, upon further inspection it becomes apparent that this  “Chronos Ruler” here is so poorly written that it cannot be ignored. You guessed it, a lot of exposition and poorly conceived comedy ruin the eyecandy pretty quickly, and it’s all so dumb and dull that I barely remember anything but a vague stink of disappointment. It’s two guys that fight monsters, only not very well? Something about trying to turn back time but that turning out to be a bad idea? It’s all just slush. There's a twist in here that's kind of funny (probably unintentionally) so I won’t spoil it, but it’s by no means worth it.

Konbini Kareshi

Konbini Kareshi is an anime about some highschoolers that have relationship problems and hang out in a konbini, and that’s pretty much it. It’s extraordinarily slow, but somehow I did not end up finding it completely dull - possibly because “nothing happens” also means that nobody talks in this case. A lot of the episode is just awkward, silent situations, with information imparted visually (body language, expressions, etc) instead. Imagine that. Now I don’t want to praise it too much because nothing pays off and, well, nothing happens - but it is actually something markedly different from what you usually see in anime and that’s got to be worth something. I am not sure if I want to give this more chances, but that’s better than being quite sure I never want to see it again, right?

Made in Abyss

If you want to have a master class in how to start a fantasy adventure anime, check out Made in Abyss 01. It just drops you into an utterly beautiful world, sets up a couple of endearing characters and their general situation without boring you with the details, and the explains just enough about the world to answer a few pressing questions that can’t be ignored at the end. It’s beautiful too, great design, great animation, lush backgrounds, the whole shebang. Now it’s essentially a story about a bunch of very young orphans that go spelunking, and the character designs remind me of Ichigo Mashimaro of all things, but I detect no sketchiness here. Obviously it now has a tough act to follow over a whole season, but for the type of show it is you couldn’t ask for a better layup.

Nana Maru San Batsu

Also known as “Fastest Finger First”, this show asks the question: How do you make watching a trivia quiz interesting? Well, the answer is that you don’t. It seems to be a very basic school club show and the topic of the school club is buzzer quizzes. And somehow this fictional story manages to be less engaging than your average actual TV quiz show. Buzzer quizzes don’t have a lot of strategy involved (the show tries to pretend otherwise, but mostly fails), just watching people in quiz-o-vision trying to answer fairly mundane questions is hardly riveting, and besides that it’s just a decidedly subpar comedy. This could have worked if it went full ham like Kakegurui, but it neither has the means nor even much of an inclination to try that. 

Netsuzou TRap - NTR

So here’s the long-dreaded adaptation of the yuri manga that’s so full of bullshit drama that even actual fans of bullshit yuri drama hate it to the point where it became a running joke. And yeah, this sure is bullshit yuri drama about two girls who casually make out while boyfriends aren’t looking too closely. One feels bad about it, the other is a troll. All in all it’s reminiscent of Kuzu no Honkai, except that KnH at least was fully aware that its entire cast was awful people; I can’t even make out what I’m supposed to think about these shenanigans. Now I could say that episode 1 shows potential if it develops properly, but the manga is such a known quantity of bad writing that that’s not a smart idea. It will probably just be Girl A feeling conflicted and Girl B trolling her forever.

Princess Principal

Steampunk is pretty much a laughingstock these days, but I will say that Princess Principal nails the aesthetic if nothing else. It is made of steam and punk; you get your top hats, you get your gears, you get your airships. It’s all pretty cool looking and it also has some nice action. What it’s actually about is some sort of Cold War in divided London, and our protagonists are a crew of schoolgirls that talk about being spies a lot. This is where it becomes apparent that the writer of this was previously convicted of having committed Code Geass (yeah, that guy again), so a certain degree of schlock is to be expected. And really, who else could come up with Steampunk Cold War Berlondon featuring murderous gothlolis? So overall, it’s quite a bit more trashy than I would like but it could be able to pull it off reasonably well on production value alone, and hopefully the writing won’t shit the bed too hard.

Saiyuki Reload Blast

Saiyuki is an old shounen property that adapts Journey to the West. Not to be confused with Dragonball, because this is spaghetti western instead of wuxia. Or so it seems, I’ve never watched one of the anime adaptations that keep getting made every decade or so before. But hey, Reload Blast being a sequel to an anime last made when the ostensible target audience wasn’t even born yet at least has the benefit of not having to deal with tiresome origin stories, we just get to watch the characters do their thing and it’s reasonably easy to figure out anyway. It’s just that it’s not actually all that good; fans of a time when shounen heroes generated a lot of blood spray may get something out of it since it’s pretty violent, but otherwise this iteration of the JttW party are just a bunch of dicks that are trying hard to be cool but aren’t. It’s probably alright for fans of the source material and people hankering for throwback anime, but I don’t think it’s for me.

Shoukoku no Altair

As far as fantasy settings go, a Ottoman-themed one isn’t the most common. So the hero of Shoukoku no Altair hails from fantasy Turkey, which is embroiled in some sort of diplomatic brouhaha with fantasy Germafrance. And that’s really where I start tuning out because this is one of these fantasy epics that start by introducing a million characters that surely will become important eventually, but give me little reason to care about anything otherwise. Exotic locales aside, Altair seems to be mostly setup and the rest of it, the characters, the intrigue, the politics, everything, just don’t motivate me to find out more. It’s possibly not a bad show, but it’s a barely memorable show in a genre I am not particularly fond of.

Tenshi no 3P!

Sometimes it really helps going into random new anime without any previous knowledge. Like here: Tenshi no 3P starts out with a moderately well thought out character sketch of a hikkikomori that spends his day making music and uploading it to the internet. More than a bit tired, but not bad. He then gets a message by “a guy” that wants to work with him. Well, surely nothing bad can come of this. The “guy” turns out to be a primary schooler (girl) from an orphan primary schooler (girl) band that is actually super good but nevertheless needs the services of a music otaku schlub for vague reasons. And then in the end the primary schoolers offer sexual favors in exchange, possibly as a joke but I wouldn't count on that. See, I had been making Ro-Kyu-Bu (i.e., ”Rock-Yu-Bu”) jokes way before that, but as it turns out 3P is by the same author and oh boy can you tell. So it’s this season’s Eromanga-sensei, only somehow worse. I have to admit that I am not even above watching something like this if it’s legitimately great, but thankfully Tenshi no 3P is not even close to being legitimately great. Dodged a bullet there, for sure.

But hey, maybe we will at least get another very embarrassing T-shirt out of it.

Vatican Kiseki Chousakan

And finally, we have a show about some priests from the Vatican that travel the world to examine miracles. Well, one miracle at least, in Guatemala. The concept is somewhat intriguing and could make for a nice horror/detective hybrid with a twist, but I wouldn’t trust anime to pull this off properly, and so it’s no surprise that it doesn’t. For starters we get a pair of very pretty leads that seem primarily intended to bait yaoi doujins, and while it admirably tries for an off-kilter (literally, hope you like dutch angles) horror atmosphere, it is more concerned with out main character’s angst. Yeah I don’t know, the intrigue doesn’t seem particularly intriguing either and the horror just doesn’t quite click - it’s trying for gothick ostentatiousness, but doesn’t quite pull that off. I’d be willing to give this a chance if it was a miracle-of-the-week kind of thing, but considering the amount of characters they introduced for this first case that doesn’t seem to be how this show operates. Or at least I’ll wait until more information becomes available.

[sassafrasx]

Hello my dearest yuletide author! :D

Thank you so, so much in advance for writing something for me. Please feel free to ignore all of this if none of my ideas work for you; I’m really flexible and enjoy most everything, so please go with whatever inspires you! I would never want anyone to feel forced to write something.

My requests this year are particularly queer-focused (as in they all involve canon queer characters, which \o/) and I have a lot of love for all of them; so if you get stuck on the fandom we matched on, the other two may also be up your alley as well. Both The Get Down and American Gods have only one season, and Captive Prince is a trilogy which is a fairly quick read.

Things I enjoy (in no particular order and organized in a way known only to my brain):

Humor, banter, wit, sass, dialogue, intelligence, competence

Worldbuilding, plot, action, shenanigans/ridiculousness, sense of adventure, wonder

Most genres, fluff, angst, smut, really anything but too much focus on H/C (I’ve had enough of that IRL in the past few years)

ALL the AUs, all of them, I’ve never met one I didn’t like: magic, fantasy, scifi, space, historical, modern, mundane, college/university, fairy tales, dystopia, D/s, movie/tv/book fusions, daemons, canon setting or divergence AUs, urban fantasy, magical realism, magical/mythical creatures, time travelling, coffee shop/any kind of shop/restaurant, etc (tl;dr if there’s an AU you’ve always wanted to write, I’ve definitely always wanted to read it)

Friendships, families of choice, queer themes, awesome women being awesome, equal relationships, relationships that are earned and have a long and winding road, relationships that just flow together naturally from the beginning, loyalty

As with the AUs above, I have great love for most any trope you can imagine as well: friends to lovers, enemies to friends to lovers, UST, pining, pretend relationships, ‘didn’t know they were dating’, slow burn, bets & wagers, obliviousness, road trips, travel of any kind, cats and other animal companions, epistolary, texting/messaging, case fic, clothes sharing, sharing a bed, forced proximity, quests, soul bonds/soulmates/soulmarks, a/b/o, age difference, etc

Trope subversion, particularly of the soulmate and a/b/o type tropes, or anything really that generally subverts or inverts expectations

Absolutely anything relating to mythology

The little details that speak volumes about characters even when nothing is said at all, realism, especially moments of realism grounding things in the midst of something fantastical or ridiculous or funny, and vice versa — those quiet moments of humor while everything else is going to shit

Kinks sold separately (so you may ignore more easily or zero in on them, depending on your smut-writing inclinations — I will be equally as gleeful whether I receive g-rated gen fic or the kinkiest PWP):

Rimming, comeplay, manhandling/athletic sex, switching, pegging, intercrural, oral sex, masturbation, dirty talk, all kinds of sex toys, sex magic, edging, bondage/restraints, spanking, phone/webcam sex, dubcon of the sex pollen/magic/aliens made them do it variety, crossdressing, lingerie, I could go on but I will spare you. Suffice it to say I enjoy most things of the porny variety ;)

My only DNWs: explicit noncon or major character death, as well as pregnancy, infidelity, character bashing or humiliation, animal harm/cruelty.

(Having said that, if dark fic is really your thing, I am definitely open to those sorts of themes; I’m just much more careful about what/when I read noncon and character death. But outside of that, please feel to go somewhere dubious or dark. Fics that get into morally grey areas and make you think are great. Ambiguous or open endings instead of outright unhappy ones generally preferred in this case; bittersweetness has always hit me in the gut more than complete tragedy.)

If none of the prompts below are working, please feel free to pick and choose from the top section here and write whatever inspires you! Fantasy AU fic, PWP, 1k of light-hearted domestic fluff, any weird experimental piece you’re dying to write, most anything at all, please have at it. Or ignore everything on here completely; optional details are optional and I will be unbelievably excited about anything you write for me. <3<3

I added this last year, but honestly it still applies: if recent events have you wanting to write all the dystopian AUs or dedicate queer, filthy porn to a politician of choice, I will be here with my chin in hands.

Captive Prince (Damen, Laurent)

Ahhhhh, I just have so many feelings about these two and their impossible, slow, perfect development. SO MANY. They’re the sort of pair whose relationship is just so satisfying and well-earned and who complement each other so perfectly, despite rubbing against each other in all the wrong ways through so much of their relationship. It’s the sort of thing where I could read their story in a thousand different ways through a thousand different AUs and be totally, wholly content. And I want all of those stories! All of them! So a lot of my ideas listed below here are heavily AU-centric, both canon and non-canon based.

Some ideas to throw against a wall:

Mermaids, selkies, daemons, that mysterious witch in a blue dress that people in the city keep whispering about

I know this is already a fantasy series, but I kept craving more fantasy elements while reading, so add some dragons, high fantasy, whatever have you to the canon universe and I will be pleased as punch

MYTHOLOGY - whether adding in some mythological elements to canon (there was a surprising lack of any sort of folklore or mythology in the series) or a total AU I am all here for anything with a myth-type twist

The stereotypical modern AUs: coffee shop, university, we live in the same building and your cat keeps sneaking in to steal my underwear, WHATEVER, I’m always down for meet-cutes and ridiculousness

Urban/modern fantasy, magical realism, all that jazz is my jam; my love for urban fantasy has no bounds

Non-traditional a/b/o - while I love a/b/o in general, any sort of twist or subversion is basically my ultimate iddy happy place - Damen/Laurent alpha/alpha AU anyone?? Or any other way you’d like to imagine it.

Porn. Anything from the top section, porn is always happily consumed.

Rival space pirate clans, because space pirates.

For the more canon-inclined, that’s awesome too! I realize a lot of my random ideas above are complete AUs, but I love canon fic as well. I particularly love divergence scenarios — not just major ones of the Auguste Lives type, but what if some small moment in canon happened differently, or didn’t happen at all? So much good stuff to explore there. Role reversal canon AUs, outsider POV and missing scenes are always awesome as well. Whatever sandbox you find most fun to play in really :D

As for side characters and whatnot, the more the merrier generally speaking! Nikandros, Pallas, and Lazar are particular favorites in this corner over here.

The Get Down (Dizzee)

I also requested this last year, and after the second half of the series, my request is still largely the same. One of the things I love about this show is that sense of the city in the 70s, the visceral feel of it, and how it was so well-done and it left me craving more — particularly more of Dizzee’s story.

(Confession: I am a New Yorker, which is part of why I loved this so much, but I was born about a decade after this takes place and in a different part of the country than where I now call home — so please don’t worry about me nitpicking historical details ;))

While we did get to see more of Dizzee in the second half of the series, I’m still hung up on that one scene with him from the first half of the series (the one where he goes with Thor and the other girl to the club) and that is probably completely responsible for this request. It hit me like a pound of feels straight to the chest. Queer culture in the 70s, the underground balls, the music, the voguing, drag, and everything else. GAH. And watching Dizzee navigate all that, open his mind to everything around him and recognize himself, so much love. And the way the scene fits in with the shows overall themes, how so much creativity and how new genres can come out of oppression, the way all these different groups and sounds interacted and fed off each other, which is so rarely acknowledged anymore. Anything that explores any of this will be loved forever and ever.

I didn’t specifically request Thor because Dizzee is my main interest here, but I think he’s great too! Or the girl from the club — or both! However you want to approach it, my queer heart will be excited. You could write a continuation scene (porny or not porny), Dizzee getting deeper into queer culture afterwards, some introspection, or just the scene from the show as it happens from Dizzee’s perspective, anything really. Same with the scene from the second half of the season where Thor and Dizzee paint each other. And I have no drug or alcohol triggers, so if you really just wanted to write 1k about Dizzee rolling his ass off tbh, I’d love to read that too.

Much more so than I usually request, this one really is a lot about the setting for me. Having said that, if you wanted to do it as a some sort of dystopian AU with similar themes and Dizzee as the focus, I’d read the shit out of the that. So much. (As an example — feel free to insert other AU compulsions if that’s your thing.) And I think there are a lot of awesome characters in the show, particularly the moral greyness of so many of them, but the queer themes of Dizzee’s story admittedly resonate with me on a much more personal level; please do feel free to include as many or as few of the others as you see fit!

American Gods (TV) (The Jinn, Salim)

I have been an enormous fan of the book since it originally came out and have reread it many times over the years; needless to say I am so unbelievably happy with the show so far and how they’ve chosen to expand upon and approach the original canon. Particularly, I love how they filmed the scene between these two characters, and then decided to give them a larger role in the series, which they didn’t have in the book.

For these two, I would love anything that explores their relationship, maybe what Salim was feeling or thinking when they met, how that sort of transcendent experience touched him, what his life was like afterwards as a cab driver in his new identity. Or something about his journey to find the Jinn again! How does he get there? What does he find at the end? What is their happily ever after? I’m so thrilled they’ve decided to go that route on the show, and can’t wait to see how it connects to the larger story. (As I’ve read the book, there is no need to worry about spoiling me if you would like to include details from future plots based on it; or go wild and go somewhere completely different! I’d love to read it all.)

The Jinn’s perspective would also be amazing: he’s been alive for so long, the things he’s seen, and he seems lonely when we meet him on the show? What has his experience/existence been like as a god, how has he seen history, particularly from a queer perspective, what does it mean to him when he meets Salim?

It would also be really interesting to see something that explored the mythological aspects of the show more -- or a complete myth AU! I think these two also lend themselves well to a lot of AUs and tropes in general and I’d love to read about all of them; if you wanted to raid any of the AUs or tropes above and go crazy that’d be amazing. Some kind of soulmates universe (with or without the mythology of canon), magical creatures of some kind, some sort of normal/modern AU, anything at all and anywhere you want to go, have at it!

Please feel free to include whatever canon characters you like; while I selected these two, I enjoy all of them and would be happy to see anything involving them. And while these requests lean more shippy, please make it as gen (backstory for either of the characters would be awesome) or as shippy as you’d like.

[shadow-gate-to-love]

For the letter ask meme all that you haven't answered (is this ok?)

It’s all good love~ Under the cut because woah that’s a lot of words. usually i’d say “send me one of these ask memes” but uh….anon already did the work for y’all. hehe~

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

YoshiRiko, DiaMaru, AZALEA-shipping, and every variation of NozoEliMaki.

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

thanks to @hanahimes​ i know realize how much I need DiaYou in my life…

(I did C)

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

Tough question? I don’t have a lot of ships that I dislike, and if I dislike it, I sure don’t wish I didn’t. HonoUmi maybe? It’s kinda cute I guess but I just don’t care about it…

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

I did a LOT of the wiki editing lmao

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

The Sonic fandom stuck with me for a good while.

(I did G)

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

Anime.

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

I’ve never been in them, but Steven Universe and Overwatch. Too much discourse…

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

All of those kids shows on Disney, Cartoon Network etc (SU excluded)

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

In LL? …Nico. As much as I hate to admit it, seeing how selfless she really can be tugged at my heartstrings. she’s still a trash baby though

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

Well Chika is exempt under the last part so…Rin, who I’m neutral about. I love her voice!!! She really has the best voice out of all 9 of ‘em TBH. Like, in the intro of MerFest vol. 2? GOD.

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Hanamaru! We’re pretty similar, we both love books, food, and we’re both soft n chubby :3

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

1. MORE YOSHIRIKO!

2. MORE SMUT FICS!

3. …more yoshiriko smut fics.

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

Shuffle picked Plus Boy by Reol. It reminds me of Ruby, she’d totally be the type to thirst over her cute senpais and end up failing and shit (much to Dia’s dismay)

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

OOOOOOH I HAVE SO MANY AUS MMMMM!!!! lemme drop some that i plan on writing/am currently writing

Bodyguard!Kanan/Mari where Kanan is tasked with guarding the slightly unbearable Mari Ohara and they end up falling in love?!

Monster!AZALEA where Hanamaru is a monster hunter that gets seduced by Vampire!Dia and Werewolf!Kanan

No Aqours!Guilty Kiss where Riko is a tech worker for the drama club who is obsessed with these two dramatic ass actresses (Mari and Yohane)

No Aqours!YoshiRiko where Yoshiko needs a dog walker and Riko signs up because damn that girl is cute but also she still afraid of dogs god damn it riko

Prostitute!Maki/Rich!Eli where Eli tries to treat this random prostitute like a queen but she’s not havin’ it. Think Pretty Woman except with tsunderes.

College!NicoNozoPana where Pana is a TA in a class with NozoNico in it and they obviously have to fuck with her of course

wow i didn’t mean to type all of those haha—-

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

Sonic because I started to love myself

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

NozoNico~ I ship them romantically too but platonic NozoNico is mmm

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

kanan and you have muscles and riko is gay in fic form

(I did T)

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Cherche from Fire Emblem because she’s so graceful and yet…so…frightening? I dunno! Her gentle cruelty is so appealing.

Kou from New Game! She’s just so cute and I love her voice~

Kanan from Love Live because god I don’t even have to say this anymore if you’ve talked to me for more than 3 seconds you know that i want kanan’s entire fist up my ass so let’s skip the bullshit and move on.

V - Which character do you relate to most?

Hanamaru – see M.

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

when “you all forgot about my birthday” turns into “OMG YOU REMEMBERED AND YOU WERE PLANNING A PARTY THE WHOOOLE TIME!” it’s corny.

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

first time sex except one of them nuts really early

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

Overwatch, SU, Ace Attorney, and JJBA.

Aaaand I did Z! So ends the prompt fiesta.