#not too mention the clear quality of the soundtrack

[r3medialch8os]

so since u guys liked that i did this with remedial chaos theory i will now also be doing this for epidemiology.

the most incredible thing about this episode is that it is in fact Not merely an homage like most concept episodes are; it actually happens. a zombie epidemic For Real takes place at greendale. it's not a gimmick or a game or a way to frame the plot. the actual conflict is derived from the fact that people are zombies and the study group need to outrun them/turn them back. how often can you say that a sitcom incorporates a storyline like this and sincerely pulls it off? never.

the emotional tension in this episode is framed around troy/abed/jeff and the dichotomy of being a nerd vs. being cool, which respectively get attributed the qualities of caring about the people around you who have turned into zombies or wanting to run and escape from the zombies without trying to help. abed and jeff's costumes are both pointed out in the beginning receiving clear denotations of 'lame' and 'too cool to care' and therefore their positions in the conflict are cemented. the episode has a push-pull with troy being the moving factor, having to decide what he thinks is most important. he gets swayed in the beginning by two girls rejecting him over his costume and jeff mentioning how expensive his suit is. he changes from his ripley costume into a 'sexy dracula'. abed spends the whole episode trying to get troy back to his side, even saying "what defines a nerd? committing to an awesome halloween costume with your best friend?" troy is eventually 'turned back' into his nerdy self (perhaps a zombie metaphor itself, keeping in tone with the theme of the episode) because jeff cares more about his suit getting dirty than surviving the herd of zombies.

a crucial part of the episode is that it is soundtracked by abba music playing from the dean's playlist. now, who would i be if i didn't investigate significant music choices connected to scenes? first up and probably the most important one: s.o.s. is used in the background of a scene where abed confronts troy about changing costumes. troy insults him and walks away. the lyrics are: 'you seemed so far away, though you were standing near. you made me feel alive, but something died, i fear. i really tried to make it up, i wish I understood. what happened to our love? it used to be so good.' next; gimme gimme gimme plays right before the scene where chang and shirley hook up. another insane choice is at the end when troy is fighting the zombies. the whole sequence has mamma mia playing in the background Faintly. then when troy eventually gets to abed and has to fight him, the music comes in much louder with the lyrics: 'here i go again, my, my, how can i resist you?', which i think fits perfectly. the ending song fernando has the lyrics 'there was something in the air that night', both referencing the thermostat changing the zombies back and the fact that it was just an incredibly weird fucking night.

troy is dressed as ellen ripley and also kind of acts as the ripley of this episode. his journey in this as being the sole survivor and the one to eventually save greendale adheres to a common science fiction model where a life-threatening force is faced against the protagonists and they fall off in degrees, resulting in one person being left to mend everything. here specifically, it seems to mirror ripley's journey in alien (1979) as it starts with a crew that eventually gets cut down leaving only her. i thought that was really cool.

more alien tidbits, but the jumping cat scene is also inspired by it. jones the cat is an imporant figure in the first alien movie. in various scenes, members of the crew will go looking for him, then get ambushed by the titular alien and subsequently killed. it is a minor homage to the movie through yet another subtle reference. the bit is also parodying jumpscares in horror movies in general, and how they are used to cheaply amplify the tension. anyways, it's quite the multilayered joke because it also really works out of context as a bizarre comedic moment.

troy and abed's scene in the basement pays homage to princess leia and han solo's scene in the empire strikes back. the conversation in the film takes place just before han is frozen alive in carbonite by darth vader. not knowing if he’ll survive, he kisses leia, only to be torn away from her by stormtroopers. she says 'i love you,' and as he descends into chamber, han replies, 'i know.' an undeniably romantic moment, maybe one of the most memorable ones ever, is applied to troy and abed who have held reign over the emotional core of the plot for the entire episode. it's pretty special that such an iconic moment is given to them, i feel like the creators of the show wouldn't just do this sparingly. it also perfectly resolves their conflict as troy makes such a vulnerable statement and abed assuring him that he already knew, validating their bond once again.

more on troy and abed, it is pretty amazing realizing the emotional implications tied to how dire the situation was. everyone in this episode was under the direct threat of Not Surviving, and still abed sacrificed himself for troy. he knew this was for real. he couldn't be sure if they were going to make it. but i think he had enough faith in troy to aid in his escape. it's very touching. further, it's incredible that troy is willing to fight all the zombies (all his friends) but when it comes time to punch abed, he refuses to do it. he's struck by the force of their friendship, mumbling 'we're friends' defeated before eventually succumbing to his bite.

troy saving the school by controlling the temperature; nicely setting up his further plot with the ac repair school.

him being the one to escape and abed saying 'be the first black man to make it to the end' subverts the common horror trope of 'black dude dies first'. a playful way of keeping up with the horror movie theme of the episode.

also ironically this episode, which features the song mamma mia by abba, sets up a plotline in season two about shirley not knowing who the father of her new baby is, which is functionally the plot of the movie mamma mia!, a musical based on abba's music. probably a coincidence but a pretty funny one.

at the end when the army arrives, they ask the dean about witnesses. when he says he is the only witness, one of the guards reaches into his jacket, suggesting that he's pulling a gun intended to kill the dean and get rid of the witness. when they notice everyone in the school is still alive, they abandon this plan and go for 'scenario b'. kind of dark but i laugh every time that scene happens.

anyways that's all i could pull from my brain crevices for now. this episode is a genuine masterpiece, it will never ever get old and will remain to be one of the most unique sitcom episodes ever created.

[ontologicalshock]

Guanine, Adenine, Thymine, Cytosine

Gattaca is one of those movies I think will always be remembered fondly, and I don't get exactly why.

I love sci-fi, and I love the dystopian atmospheres some of those movies lay down for us, and how they can feel realistic yet very hard to grasp.

This 1997 underdog was always going to be a hard sell at the awards, especially with Titanic, As Good as It Gets or Good Will Hunting breathing down its neck, so it is no surprise that it went basically unnoticed.

The 1930's source material, the book A Brave New World, is an interesting piece of literature, especially when one realizes it was published 60+ years before, and the base concept is there, a society where newborns are genetically engineered for quality-enhancement purposes, natural childbirth therefore is considered inferior and the resulting adult individuals are forever stuck with lesser, blue-collar-esque jobs. A life sentence they cannot escape.

After a rewatch this week, I got the sense that Gattaca falls short on some aspects:

it is never convincing enough as the "future", it feels instead like an alternate reality. I love classic cars, but the production crew chose not to change anything other than the sound they made, hinting at some sort of alternate (sustainable?) fuel source, therefore we end up with a human race capable of genetically engineering human beings to the bone, but they still produce cars with 60's tech, for me, it was hard to make sense of it, which is a shame since "futuristic" movies tend to age very badly but Gattaca manages to curb that by not being too ambitious (well, the low 32M budget was also a factor I am sure). The clothing was also very "normal", sometimes we could mistake it for a 30's black and white movie about the mob... was that the point all along?

There is never enough background on the inner workings of that society. Just like in post-apocalyptic stories, I would have liked to understand more about what led to it, what led them to believe that this was the way to go, after all nowadays discrimination raises all kinds of serious issues, was it a peaceful transition after acquiring the necessary knowledge? All those "inferior" beings never tried to change things? At the end of the day I can digest wild ideas much more easily if the path to them feels at least logical, on the other hand if one just comes up with stuff, well, everything is possible if we turn off the logical switch;

although narrated movies always feel that little bit more special, this movie sometimes feels like it doesn't know how to capitalize on it, and thus the timing, and the frequency felt off to me;

one of the big reveals, even though I am not the best at figuring twists out, was played so casually that I felt almost nothing, which leads me to say that, to a certain extent, I think the movie lacked a bit more drama.

What did I like?

well, it's sci-fi, so it has interesting approaches to the reality the characters live in. The minimalistic aesthetic and the use of colour are very appealing and even beautiful at times. Good cinematography;

Hawke but especially Law deliver solid performances, Thurman though is bland, and uninteresting, I could not care less whatever could happen to her, I guess I can apologize her because she was playing the part of a true member of the elite... but then again, so was Law... maybe Law was not taking Soma, and she was... was that completely clear in the movie though? Was Soma even introduced as "a thing"? It is mentioned often in the book...;

the soundtrack, though slightly repetitive, is delicate and dramatic, it fits very well on the overall minimalistic aesthetic.

After the credits roll I recognize the potential, the thought-provoking, deeply philosophical ideas about how biological perfection can't hold a candle against will power and spirit, are all there, but with a modern budget, it would be world I would like to visit again, with a bit more heft and a little less minimalism.

[manysmallhands]

Top 10 Albums of 2023!

This was all supposed to work out differently. As i recall from the now long distant past, my original plan was to do a countdown where i put up one post a day throughout December. However, I got Covid on December 1st and that plan immediately became lame and useless. After that, my assumption was basically that i wouldn't be able to do any of this, but i got better more quickly than i'd anticipated and found myself working on these reviews in bits as the month has gone on. So, having rushed through all the the song blurbs that i wanted to do, here i am on New Year's Eve with a more or less finished Top 10 albums to put up.

The only problem is that there are ten quite lengthy reviews here and the vibe is already pretty tl:dr. But tbh that's fine: there really is only my girlfriend who ever reads everything (and i believe her, trust is what love is all about after all) so for anyone looking at this and thinking blimey, that's a lot of text, my advice is: you don't have to read any of it. Just look at the albums, scan thru to see if it sounds like something you might like and give one or two of them a listen if that looks like the case. The words are really just to keep me occupied but i'd like to hope that someone likes some of the records.

I said yesterday that i would reveal what the best one is and so I am now delivering on that important promise. The best one is Scarlet by Doja Cat. Anyone who follows me on whatever platform already knows that the best one is Scarlet by Doja Cat. Don't make me say it again.

Barbie - The Album

Few people have seemed much interested in the Barbie soundtrack, other than the punters who kept it atop the compilations chart for four months. I, as ever, channel the spirit of the populous. The sound is basically 80s synth pop updated for a modern audience  - the likes of Haim and Ava Max slot in predictably well - but its the extra dimensions created by how the artists interact with the film that provide some of its more interesting aspects. Sam Smith’s Man I Am reflects a surprisingly LGBTQ Ken despite protestations (certainly its "I'm not gay bro, but..." T-shirt is prompting a lot of questions already answered by the shirt), while Billie Eilish dwelling on life as a manufactured product makes for interesting and uncomfortable parallels in What Was I Made For. Mark Ronson’s plasticky production suits its subject to a tee, further cementing the conceptual unity of the project.

Star turns abound throughout the album as A-listers like Dua Lipa and Lizzo bring their best games alongside some terrific and unlikely downcard cameos. What Was I Made For? and Dance The Night were both deserved #1s, but the pacey pop punk of GAYLE’s Butterflies and Dominic Fike’s breezy, hook laden Hey Blondie are as much highlights as any of the bigger names here. Special mention should be made for Ryan Gosling’s I’m Just Ken, a blockbuster 70s rock number that, whilst puncturing the wider stylistic template, is batshit and hilarious enough to more than justify its place as well as netting him a surprise hit too. The quality lapses once or twice (Tame Impala in particular are bloody awful) but by the time Ava fires the final laser I’m generally happy to go back and start all over again. With banger after banger here, my verdict is in: the Barbie soundtrack is *Charli voice* HOT!

Claire Rosinkranz - Just Because

While this has been a year that I’ve gotten more fully into pop, it took a while for me to find many new albums that I’ve been interested in. This may partly be to do with me clinging to an idea that LPs ought to be substantial beyond having good hooks and charm. In truth, all I needed to do was revert to my indiepop training, where bands have never knowingly been fussed about having any great weightiness. But even so, it took Just Because to make it clear to me that no, you really don’t need any grand vision at all: a high number of great if frothy pop songs will do just fine. It’s a record which bounces from banger to banger in an endearingly sunny style, with each tune so catchy that their lightness becomes a strength rather than a weakness.

Rosinkranz’s voice seems to mark her out as one of the many Billie clones who populate the current pop scene but her musical ambitions are both simpler and more instantly engaging. Not yet 20, her songs have an element of schoolyard whispers which add a welcome silliness here and there, but she also plays with the intensity of youthful emotions to make them a little heartrending even as she goofs off. Highlights include Dreamer, a break up song where the vocal makes it clear that she’s far from as done as she says she is, and Wes Anderson, which offers some sombre advice but packages it in a song so sweet that you’d never know. But in spite of all this it makes no end of year lists (well, maybe just the one), being merely a lovable set of songs that are very hard to forget. Need it be more? I don't believe so.

Doja Cat - Scarlet

Mired in discourse throughout the year, Doja Cat still found time to make a chart topping single (Paint The Town Red) that took the world by storm and a cracking album which, sadly, did not. Scarlet was in my opinion the better of the two: largely ditching the afrobeat pop of Planet Her, Doja staked her claim as an old skool rapper and brought it off pretty well, mixing hard rhyming with her more scattershot pop delivery and sounding entirely comfortable wherever she landed. While flitting musically between modern RnB and neo-soul grooves, her subject matter was largely taken up by how much she hated her fans, a bold strategy that found her shedding support even as blistering tracks like Fuck The Girls shaped up as some of my favourites of the year.

Whilst I’ve found myself uncomfortable with both the company that she keeps and the views which she may or may not subscribe to (i feel safe in saying that she's a right wing edgelord but i suspect that’s the least of it), Scarlet is such a good album that I’ve found myself, if not making excuses for her, then at least deftly navigating around my distaste in order to keep listening to it. While Agora Hills often reminded me how serious she is about her scumbag of a boyfriend, it’s still a song that can submerge me in its beauty entirely; while some of the complaints from her online audience are less easily dismissed than others, it’s more comfortable just to think about the morons calling her a devil worshiper, especially when she mocks them so wickedly on the elegant Skull And Bones. Am I the problem? Maybe I am: it’s a place I often find myself in with hip hop, where faves are frequently problematic and exceptions beg to be made. As such, I can not wholeheartedly recommend this record to people who might want to take a principled stand against some of her bullshit. I can only say that, as a musical talent, there was no one better all year.

Lana Del Rey - Did You Know That There’s a Tunnel Under Ocean Boulevard?

After 2021’s fairly middling brace of albums, Did You Know That There’s A Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd always felt like it was going to be a return to form and this time the faithful were not disappointed. It was another epic and sprawling record which unfolded like a cross between The Bible and a 50s musical. While changeable in style, ranging from hammy country ballads to trap beats and beyond, the thing that springs to mind most often is the Great American Songbook, as Lana takes the melodramatic grandeur of those standards and soaks them in her own messy and complicated worldview. This draws in family, romance, the future, her relationship with religion and how it all scrappily fits together, ranging widely and wildly across 75 extraordinary minutes.

Much of the album feels like it’s being broadcast from a kind of dreamworld, although one that overlays with reality neatly enough. Lana’s dismissive “if you want some basic bitch go to the Beverly Centre and find her” line undercuts the mood on the otherwise lush and evocative Sweet but the impact is hilarious rather than jarring, a perfect marriage of the strange and mundane. In contrast, the brooding A&W initially brings that realism to a far more uncomfortable level, before goofing off wonderfully in the second half in a way that only Lana ever really dares to do. Much of the record feels like it's creating its own language, as key phrases (“let the light in”, “when you know, you know”) are repeated and musical themes come back around in strange modulations. All in all, while perhaps less satisfying as a pop record than Norman Fucking Rockwell, Did You Know… feels like her most complete statement on a personal level yet, whilst still working well within the broader world that she’s spent over a decade constructing.

Mitski - The Land Is Inhospitable And So Are We

Despite liking the odd song or two, I have until now been largely immune to Mitski over the full length of an album. But The Land Is Inhospitable And So Are We has a much more organic sound than I’m used to hearing from her, well adrift from the polished guitar rock of her big 10s records. Instead, it takes many of its cues from classic folk and country, occasionally lush and expansive, often determinedly sombre but always at a distance from the areas where she’s generally been at home. Opener Bug Like An Angel is a brooding scene setter, where Mitski unveils the terse and grumpy presence we will grow familiar with over the next half hour. The main elements of the album are already in place - the spare instrumentation; Mitski’s extraordinary voice, hard and intransigent but still full of yearning; the occasional, overwhelming interjections from the wings. It all creates a distinctive atmosphere, extremely intense but intimate too: we’re allowed into Mitski’s world but there’s a lot to take in.

Lyrically, the songs are both heavily allusive and extremely personal, like hearing ancient parables told by the characters from the story. Surprise hit My Love Mine All Mine seems to sit apart as a relatively standard love song but a closer listen reveals deeper layers; the placing of her love as something independent from its object makes it feel more of a piece with the album’s other enigmas. At a time where Mitski seemed to be cooling on being a rock star, The Land Is Inhospitable adds a new twist to her long musical journey, seemingly presenting a more intimate portrait while in fact retaining most of her essential mystery. As an album, it really is quite something: what that is I’m less certain of but I like it regardless.

Olivia Rodrigo - Guts

Tho I wouldn't have called myself a hater (I don’t think I would have been bothered enough), I don't really like Olivia’s all conquering debut Sour, which I thought a bit too one-note and overpopulated with slushy ballads. But by the time Guts came around I was open to listening again, drawn in by its excellent singles and primed for a different experience. Vampire, the best of them and more or less of this year, was a fantastic example of taking something that Olivia is clearly very accomplished at (the grand piano lament) and then, rather than running that into the ground, instead using it as a springboard for an entirely different idea. Get Him Back and Bad Idea Right hark back to earlier guitar based tracks like Brutal, but on Guts they form a much more substantive part of the album, cementing its brand of addictive pop grunge and working up a much goofier version of her messy teen persona.

Elsewhere, the ballads did in fact return. Some have speculated that this may have been a bad idea (right?) but for me they’ve been growers, particularly the likes of Lacy and The Grudge, where Olivia explores the bitterness of youth and uses it to tear holes in the people who’ve wronged her. But if I’m honest, it’s the rockers that I’m usually waiting for: whether the new wave pastiche of Love Is Embarrassing or autumnal Cure homage Pretty Isn’t Pretty, each one feels like a mini-revelation and it’s the style that I hope she leans on most in the future.

Palehound - Eye On The Bat 

Palehound have been around for a while now and every so often I’ve given their records a try and haven't really managed to connect with them properly. Eye on the Bat has been the first exception, though whether that's because it’s any better than the others or I just made more of an effort with it I don’t know. Its template is certainly well worn in the indie world - country rock with varying degrees of aggression or melodic sweetness - but there’s still a lot here that grabs my attention, especially in the charming indie pop of the title track and the heart-rending melancholy of Route 22.

But the thing that caught my ear the most was Ellen Kempner’s disarming honesty, with much of the album spent documenting what sounds like a deeply messy break up. Whether she’s bitterly picking through the fall out on Independence Day or remembering some hilariously embarrassing bedroom scene on opener Good Sex, Eye On The Bat's almost diaristic view is mesmerising throughout, making you warm to Kempner even as she works thru some of her own worst traits. And aside from anything else, her understanding of relationships underlines her strengths as a lyricist, as she dissects their complexities with wit, sympathy and occasional anger to capture all the stuff that transcends whatever we were hoping for in the first place.

Poppy - Zig

After the wild ride that commenced with 2020’s extraordinary pop/metal mash up I Disagree, Poppy has journeyed thru indie rock, goth and punk to wind up back where she started, only not quite. Zig may represent a return to pop - indeed it’s produced by Weeknd affiliate Ali Payami - but it’s one that’s filtered thru all of the places she stopped off along the way.

The crepuscular grind of Church Outfit and Knockoff sound like more danceable versions of the I Disagree sound, while the crunching title track suggests that she can still go as hard as ever. But there are nods to a lighter side here as well, particularly in the strong trio that wind up the album: The Attic recasts her sound in a euphoric drum n bass clatter whilst closer Prove It kicks up a remarkable blend of manic hyperpop and gentle electro-balladry, whilst still working in the rich emotional palette that she’s developed in recent years.

In one sense this is a huge departure from the frenetic punk of last year’s Stagger EP but the vibes here stake out territory that you’d still find oddly familiar. Some of the gothy ballads are less immediate than other songs but nothing on Zig is boring, just varying refinements on her ever evolving musical journey. The critics were split, occasionally rattled and sometimes just plain baffled, but that’s only to be expected by now. Poppy follows her own plan and rarely sticks to the same tune: in truth it’s a privilege just to be a witness to the chaos.

Sweeping Promises - Good Living Is Coming For You

One thing that I find missing in a lot of modern guitar based music is snappy songs with good catchy hooks. While Sweeping Promises appear to place their focus elsewhere - their high concept sound is best understood as someone broadcasting direct from 1979 through a wristwatch speaker - their second album still finds time to deliver fully on the tunes. Good Living Is Coming To You is steeped in bubblegum melodies and memorable choruses, with songs that become earworms before you’ve even registered how catchy they are. 

More than anything, it's dominated by Lira Mondal’s imperious vocals: whether it’s in the cascading harmonies of Throw Of The Dice, the fierce yells and hisses that close out the title track or her sweet voiced switch-outs on Ideal No, her character springs out of every song in a way that few singers ever really manage to impose. While you might think that the post punk era has been mined to death by now, Sweeping Promises drag new life into it by going back further: their sound may be heavily rooted in a specific moment but the elements of songcraft often have more in common with 60s girl group classics than gnarled art rockers. Ten bangers and no filler: Good Living Is Coming For You is everything I wanted from it and more.

Wednesday - Rat Saw God

While the queasy vibes of 2021’s Twin Plagues are still high in the mix here, it was the welcome injection of melody on Wednesday's third album that managed to alert the media. That lightness was more apparent in Karly Hartzman's lyrics than you might notice on a passing listen too: though often praised for her grimly amusing takes on middle American backwaters, the key to them was her deceptively soft touch, casting a sympathetic eye over grisly scenes even as she retained their gnarlier undertones.

Single Chosen To Deserve, with its crunching chorus and heartwarming romantic turnaround, feels like the designated big moment from the record but in reality Rat Saw God has an embarrassment of riches. Quarry in particular, with its Waterloo Sunset-esque signature and matter-of-fact dissection of grim local gossip, is an almost pop version of the most haunting aspects of Hartzman's craft, while the washed out bounce of closer TV in the Gas Pump pitches a lonelier scene in a similarly gorgeous manner.

This is not to forget that Wedneday can still rock extremely hard when they want to, especially on the brutal 8 minute Bull Believer, an ambitious multipart epic that ends with Hartzman screaming “FINISH HIM!!!” repeatedly over the chaotic finale. But while Rat Saw God brought this kind of sawtoothed sound back to widespread acclaim, its real trick was how it sugared the pill just enough to get it past even the most determinedly sweet tooth.

[tigreblvnc]

BLUE LOCK MATCHUP — @luminarysol

Your match is...

— Hiori Yo

✦ "Those who are especially considerate of others' feelings" Let's be honest: there aren't many characters in Blue Lock with this quality, lol.

✦ So I went looking for the softies…

✦ …at least, those who present themselves as softies.

✦ (I don’t want to know what happens behind closed doors, okay?)

✦ Hiori isn’t the type to bang his fist on the table or raise his voice, but I think that's because as long as he doesn’t have a clear ambition, a defined goal he wants to achieve, he tends to stay in the background. Until he teamed up with Isagi and started to shine on the field, he was very discreet.

✦ We remember the moment when Noa wanted to send Jin onto the field, and Isagi recommended Hiori. That’s when Hiori woke up, argued his case, and even convinced Noa that he was the best choice. The most logical choice.

✦ So I think, in that sense, Hiori is someone reliable.

✦ I can also see him being someone who enjoys reading, researching. We know he spent a lot of time in front of his computer, so I imagine his Google search history is pretty extensive by now.

✦ To me, he’s not the most comfortable in social situations and prefers his solitude and freedom. Kind of like you, actually.

✦ Hiori is a great supporter; his presence boosts your confidence. He puts you in the spotlight and helps you shine. I don’t see him as someone overbearing or directive. On the contrary, if you have a goal, he helps you clarify it and shows you how to achieve it.

✦ "I don't like going out often. I have multiple ways of entertaining myself at home—in other words, my hobbies." 100% Hiori-coded.

✦ "Playing video games" Well—Hiori.

✦ Whether you’re in the same room or at a distance, you spend your nights playing MMOs or indie co-op games together. You’re always connected on Discord.

✦ He shares soundtracks he likes with you, like the NieR: Automata OST (his favorite, and I approve).

✦ I sincerely believe Hiori is a cat person too.

✦ He’d probably want to come over just for the cats, anyway…

✦ (How could anyone resist those furballs?)

✦ When it comes to love languages, I see Hiori leaning more towards quality time or words of affirmation. He’s not really into objects and gifts; they make him uncomfortable, and he’s always a bit scared of getting it wrong. But I think his affection might show in how, when you mention something you’d like, he buys it for you on Amazon and has it delivered straight to your door. That’s his way of giving without facing the awkwardness of being there when you open it.

✦ "So, did you like your gift?"—all in writing.

✦ I see him being more talkative through messages than in person.

✦ On his side, he’d like someone to spend time with without feeling the need to talk all the time. Just chilling in the same room, each playing a different game, reading, or just lying on the bed thinking about nothing.

✦ Since he prefers chatting via messages, receiving a handwritten letter from you would mean the world to him. I imagine he’d blush like never before!

✦ He would keep the envelope carefully, still sealed, with the pages neatly folded inside, as if he’d never opened it. That’s his way of showing he sincerely cares about your gift, by preserving it as much as possible.

✦ And maybe he’d write back to you?

✦ God, there’s nothing more romantic than communication through letters.

✦ "My sun sign is Sagittarius." You’ll be happy to know that Hiori shares the same sign as you. As I like to say, two identical signs have the advantage of easily understanding each other.

✦ In the end, I think you two are very similar! I don’t necessarily see you as a super expressive couple, but more like two loners who meet online, initially to talk about video games, and then spend your lives conversing in writing.

✦ Maybe you were even the one who took the initiative to write that letter, which then gave Hiori the courage to suggest meeting in person.

✦ "I don’t have three cats at home, but we can play Valorant together."

A word about your match: I thought about Zantetsu and even Yukimiya, but I found the former too rigid and the latter too confident, especially since he ultimately cares too little about others. So, it's decided—let's go with the gamer duo!

© TIGREBLVNC 2024 | AUGUST '24 MATCHUPS EDITION.

[get-starfingered]

When I first watch the anime I didn't mind the Jotaro ost since in general I don't care about ost usage but now that you mentioned it reeks of fanboyism . I know Jotaro is a symbol for the series but ffs this wasn't his part ,it was about the bonds between the part 6 cast . There should have been a whole new ost together ,maybe a combination between Jolyne+Weather themes since that was what the moment was about . They either got lazy and were searching for excuses or just wanted to shoehorn Joot in there once more .I wouldn't have mind if it wasn't the fandom's overall treatmemt of stone ocean too .Always making everything about the part about him .Sorry for my rant .

See, I definitely don't have a problem with some tracks carrying over from previous parts. It's not even the first time this has happened! "Hidden Feelings" which originated from Phantom Blood's soundtrack appears in Stardust Crusaders, for example. And themes from previous parts getting an adaptation for another part has also been done before, and hilariously with the contested theme in question, Jotaro's. His SDC theme got a more part-appropriate revamp, that matched the tone and style with Diamond is Unbreakable (the track is called "The Stardust Man Appears"). It's never used for other characters besides Jotaro, and only where it works with the scene at hand. This is all very cool! Intentionally selecting or reworking tracks can create a strong through line, and Stone Ocean should be no different.

What makes this especially aggravating regarding the final Emporio versus Pucci fight is not only that they chose Jotaro's theme to placate viewers, but that it's the unchanged, original SDC version of the song. So it's more bombastic, confident, no-fucks-given style, which gelled well with Jotaro laying a final beatdown on whatever Stand User he was fighting in SDC, feels so tonally incoherent to this scared kid cornered by the big bad with a divinity complex, who lost the few people he ever grew close to, in a different universe, in his first fight ever, desperately pulling a victory from the sacrifice/deaths of his friends, and clearly uncaring about what happens to himself afterwards as the second universe collapses in on itself after pummeling Pucci into a fine red paste. Like. How the fuck does that jazzy song with a strumming base guitar pumping up the audience make any narrative sense???

This is so much insult to injury too, because the original songs composed for Stone Ocean, from what we can hear in the anime itself, are really good! But that's the catch: no official soundtrack has yet to be announced, let alone released! So we haven't gotten a chance to really appreciate the few new tracks created for this part because, oops, you have to listen to it via the show itself (and bless the fans who attempt to extract the music from the show, but the quality understandably takes a hit). And the saddest part? It's clear that there aren't that many new songs, or at least it doesn't feel that way given how many reused tracks I could recognize from previous parts (mostly part 3, some part 1).

But getting back to the rest of your ask (sorry, I clearly have Feelings™ about this, lol), yeah, I get that Jotaro is often treated as The Jojo for the series, or at least the original universe. Which is. Eh. I get it, but that's never felt accurate to the generational aspect that sustains Jojo's enduring longevity. And I love Joot! I do. But second only to that specific segment of the SBR fandom's dudebro diehards who think all other parts are trash, SDC fans truly think that every part, including parts 4-6, exist in service of part 3. And so this use of the track incidentally or otherwise seems to echo this perspective.

The fact that there are people who legitimately think Jotaro is actually the main character (or at least the deuteragonist) in Stone Ocean is peak embarassing. But then you get the final battle using his theme. Cool. Because this victory was Jotaro's, right? It was actually a Jotaro versus Dio fight, part 2 electricboogaloo, yeah? Fuckin' 🙄🙄🙄🙄

I love the idea of a combined Jolyne and Weather theme! Hell, does Emporio even have his own theme?? That would have worked well too, or at least incorporate some notes in there. But alas.

I do chalk a lot of this up to the combination of budget issues, budget constraints, COVID, Netflix, the absolute shitcanning that the animation industry is suffering around the world, and that little dash of SDC favouritism for how this turned out overall. I really don't want to disparage the great work the David Productions crew has done to finally make a Stone Ocean adaptation a reality, particularly when we look at the hurdles it took to get here. I appreciate it so much. Part 6 really does get thrown in the trash by damn near everyone (and having a rather flawed but still enjoyable adaptation has helped people to discover and appreciate this part of the saga, which is a win). But I'm not going to act as though critique is unwarranted. There are a lot of issues, and the music choices are one of them.

Total aside, but I gotta give it to them that at least the two opening songs are absolutely fantastic, and the choice of Duffy's "Distant Dreamer", which I know Araki is responsible for choosing, hits the themes of finding new life and seeing hope and struggle in stride.

Anyway, thanks for the ask! Honestly I appreciated reading the rant, and getting to vent even more on my end.

[nyoomsy]

IS PARADOX LIVE THE ANIMATION GOING TO BE THE CATALYST THAT BRINGS ME BACK TO TUMBLR?????

i usually blab about these things with my irl friends but they don’t share my interests and i’m starting to fear i’m being too annoying 💀 SO. i figured i should return to the place where i used to be annoying about the things i like~

i don’t plan on making more ranty posts like this, i’ll just mainly be reblogging and quietly annoying in notes (my beloved feature of this site) i just wanted to give a fair warning and kinda explain myself with a bit of ranting heehee. sorry in advance 🫶

i’ve been a (casual? semi-casual??) fan since the time in-between JUSTICE and PRIDE and just seeing how much this franchise has grown just makes me so EMOTIONAL!!!

episode 1 made me F E R A L .

I REALLY WASNT EXPECTING SUCH GOOD QUALITY. AND 3D MODELS???? I WAS SCREAMING AND CRYING AND PAUSING AND REWINDING SO MUCHHH.

THE SOUNDTRACK. THE REFERENCES. THE FORESHADOWING. THE P A I N . THAT ONE KANATA FRAME LIKE FUCK OFFFF (im far behind in the drama so idk the exact situation bUT STILL.) AND POOR SHIKIIIII :((((((((((((

i couldn’t help but freak out and feel petty with all the BURAIKAN stuff tho, like we knew so little about them and now there’s so many bits about them thrown in episode one 🫠 gahhh

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

quick info about my relationship with the franchise incase whoever reads this is also into it (<-just an excuse to be more annoying since i’m already talking about it and have never done so publicly because i do acknowledge it has its issues)

• i keep up with the music releases but as stated i’m behind in the drama (last thing i listened to was VIBES part 1. i plan to catch up before the anime surpasses that point)

• i don’t vote cause collecting points seems like a hassle really (although i feel regret when the group i’m rooting for looses haha 🥲) (i tend to root for the songs i like better/fits the theme best)

• i’m a seiyuu fan and that highly contributed to me getting into paradox live. also the fact there’s utaite involved of course. (AmBitious!!! was my gateway and slowly realizing Murase Ayumu and 96Neko were singing together blew my MIND!!!) (pararai is also responsible for opening my eyes to Kajiwara Gakuto’s appeal hehehe)

• favorite group: BAE (if you couldn’t tell from the above) but as the groups and characters evolved i’ve come to love them all fairly equally (except a few which you could probably guess💀)

• favorite song by each group:

BAE - EmBlem!!! TCW - Shooting Arrows cozmez - Hit em up (i guess? i dont have a clear czmz fav) AKYR - ROWDIEZ -悪漢奴等 Wanted Vibes- BURAIKAN - BURAIKAN is Back VISTY - BE A STAR AMPRULE - Do as I say 1Nm8 - S∀G∀ (honorable mention: Itsuki’s 2nd part in BOH) GokuLuck - Trigger (Ryoga and Kenta’s parts win me over)

• songs i must mention: F△Bulous, BErmud△ Tri△nglE, Mercy On Me, Life is Beautiful, My Sweetest Love, The Sound of Voltage (stopping myself here before i list the whole discography)

• i watched the 1st stage play to fill the void of the inaccessible first Dope Show and i also watched the BAE & TCW show (for Kiyama Ryu) but that’s it… (maybe i’ll return if Takenaka Ryohei is casted in a 2nd gen group 👀) Fight For The PRIDE and Here We Go are certified bangers though

• i watched Dope Show 2 and 3 but cried hard over 3 i bought the night show but then i found out the matinee setlist had Shooting Arrows 😭😭😭 (if they do a 4th and decide to free stream 3 like they did 2 i PRAY it’s the matinee show 🙏 I WANNA SEE TERASHIMA JUNTA SHINE AS SHIKI. for 4 i’ll wait to see the setlist before buying a ticket)

OKAY BYE.

[pitagain]

#365DaysOfVGM Day 154:

Lilac's Treehouse/Beta Dragon Valley 1/Tutorial/Dragon Valley (Freedom Planet/Freedom Planet 2 [2014/2022])

Another indie game I just 100%’d with most achievements, getting a solid 3/5 star rating from me, maybe even a 3.5/5 depending on my experience getting the rest of the Time Attack achievements at a later date! The ambitious soundtrack should already be a great incentive to get the game, with its clear love to Gunstar Heroes, Mega Man X4, Sonic games, and other 16-bit/32-bit inspirations alike, all in the same year of Shovel Knight’s respect to the 8-bit era! Good 1st impressions such as the following might show you that…

Out of all the detailed Dragon Valley variants, I like the treehouse version the most, it’s one of the few cases where I prefer the simplicity. The Guitar here certainly helps matters, making it feel like a comfortable home like it should. And of course I gotta mention the Flute playing the main Dragon Valley melody, it’s what makes this track feel like a treehouse, after all! Being forced to choose between all the 20+ tracks I love from this game was a difficult choice, I’m not able to properly showcase where the soundtrack excels at by choosing any one track.

Although I have to say, it feels like I’m cheating with the Freedom Planet 2 track’s inclusion here, because it sounds NOTHING like the 1st game’s until the very last 29 seconds via a soothing Flute (Is it a Dizi? I’m not certain, but I like it!) carried over from the intro, but goddamn, the soundtrack of Freedom Planet 2 already feels like nothing short of a masterpiece from the little I heard before playing the 1st game! I already feel this uncommon desire to put its music everywhere I go, I mean, just hear that Saxophone, its gone places I’ve never seen that instrument ever reach before! The Piano and Guitar combo breaking up the exciting Saxophone in specific segments is also nothing short of beautiful!

In case you’re wondering, yes, I did push the day for this specific track back a few days just so I’d have more to talk about by finishing the game in question! Its got some Mega Man logic in some of its design aspects, which I think works in its favor more often than not, rewarding your precision plenty. The way health and the energy bars are managed also preserves the flow nicely without coming to a halt, even upon taking damage.

The comfortable gameplay flow goes for the boss fights too, which are quick and easy to learn, then the playable characters help complement this with their variety in gameplay styles that switch up the difficulty of stages and bosses alike, although Carol definitely got the short end. Thanks to all that, this game benefits nicely from replays, which I feel not many platformers I’ve played lately have been able to accomplish quite as much.

Lastly, I don’t see the so-called “cringe” others do in the story, but rather a lack of quality coming from the incomplete feeling caused by the sheer amount of unresolved seeds it plants (As well as a left-field moment or 2 that might force the sequel to slow down a bit, all to justify it), making it a mere prologue to what I assume Freedom Planet 2’s story will actually attempt something interesting with. I highly look forward to what I can find in that sequel in all areas!

(Length before loop [All]: 2+ minutes)

[audio-luddite]

Apple Album Auditions

I listened to another Audiophiliac review of equipment. Generally he is a nice guy and says nice things. If he is less than ecstatic about a thing he uses the "you should consider.." phrase. A common problem with Audiophile reviews is the "really good stuff" is too expensive for anyone less than a millionaire to consider. Frankly I do not care for a lot of his opinions, but he does have a really good LP collection.

He mentioned an album in his review of a turntable. It was a older album from Shelby Lynne. He described it as simple arrangements and a very clear recording. Lots of detail and well all the boxes I like to tick. I vaguely recall her name back in the day but was not a fan. Looking into her she is still around and very respected as one of those "blue-eyed soul singers".

The album is "Just a little loving". There are high quality re-issues available and it looks to be a very good audiophile recording. The eternal issue is liking the sound vs liking the music. If you do not like the music it becomes a test record. Is $40 worth another test record?

This album is available in Apple Music so I have to check it out. I do so. The music is 60s pop jazz lounge stuff. She is a really good singer. This album is described as a tribute to Dusty Springfield who was a big name in the 60s and faded in the 80s. Also a blue-eyed soul singer but from the UK but with hits on both edges of the Atlantic.

Back in the Golden Age of The Absolute Sound mag her songs were major test record tracks. One song "The look of love" was often mentioned in reviews is on "Just a Little Loving." It was on a soundtrack for a spoof movie of James Bond and written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David. It one of those jazz club seduction songs. Wikipedia claims it was inspired by Ursula Andress a 60's sex symbol model / actress. (The bikini scene in Doctor No 1962)

I have to say it sounded phenomenal. A simple jazz band backing her. Yup detail, clarity and a damn good performance.

I had the Apple Music album running in my car stuck in traffic. I sorta liked it. But there was a bit of unease. Hard to put my finger on it. Yes I am old verging on geezer and much 60's music I simply do not care for. Too simple usually. Jazz is different.

I am a fan of Morgan James a current Blue-eyed soul singer based in New York. She is a Julliard trained Soprano that quit Opera as she had no ear for language. She is a great singer. I found her with Post Modern Jukebox as one of the real breakout stars they had. I have digital copies of a couple of her albums as Vinyl has been basically unavailable. She sings much of the same kind of stuff. Do I feel disloyal for listening to another attractive blonde soul singer? Could be that simple.

Music effects one emotionally. Your response to it is emotional. Happy or sad or whatever is what you take from a song. I have my doubts about this album. I generally like this type of music, but I tie it up in my head with the performer.

One of my Iphone Morgan James albums is tribute she did to Joanie Mitchel. MJ is a much better singer than JM. JM's songs are pure heartbreak and complexity. They do not do songs like that anymore. It is her and a piano and a microphone. Simple and good. If I could find it on 180 gram Vinyl I would buy it in a heartbeat.

I have to fire up the steam powered stereo and play Shelby Lynne's album through at home. Trial by fire. I may still get it. I do not really want another test record. I want music I can put on and listen to and every so often hear a tiny thing that I had not noticed before.

Audition means to listen to.

[steveharrington]

every time a new piece of media joins in on the 80s nostalgia trend thats happening right now stranger things ends up getting dragged through the mud and i dont like that!! first of all i acknowledge that these movies are obviously banking on the success of stranger things. it 2017 takes place in the 80s rather than the book's setting of the 50s and it features finn wolfhard. fear street takes place in the late 70s/early 90s and features several stranger things actors, similar locations, and an overall very similar look. ready player one crammed so many 80s references in it inspired demi adejuyigbe's song that i think about literally all the time. and inevitably when people dislike these movies they tend to criticize the reliance on nostalgia and it alwayssss gets traced back to stranger things, which is then blamed for "banking on the nostalgia for the 80s" and implied to be nothing more than its references to the time. BUT

 here's the thing. stranger things has to take place in the 80s. a story about the government doing illict mk-ultra experiments to spy on the russians is inseparable from the politics of the 80s. a story about a young boy going missing and his friends riding around on bikes investigating depends on the lack of instant communication & constant monitoring of children that still existed in the 80s. if the story didn't depend on those elements and still took place in the 80s, sure, you could say it uses the time period for nothing more than marketing and nostalgia but that's not the case! and i see a lot of people bemoan what they consider to be references that are "too obvious" like the ghostbusters halloween costumes, the soundtrack in general, barb's whole look, etc. but...they're accurate to the time period! how could you have a show that takes place in the 80s and not feature accurate fashion from that time? music?? media??? obviously as more and more movies/shows jump onto the success of st, these references become less and less interesting and ultimately end up feeling stale, but how could you not have them? not to mention my mom was really excited to see barb carrying a trapper keeper <3

stranger things also challenges aspects of 80's pop culture with subverted expectations. the best example of this imo is obviously steve's entire character. typical jock all american boy bully that was wildly popular in 80s teen media, but within the first episode it's already made clear that steve is an actual person who exists beyond his archetype. he stumbles sneaking into nancy's window and points out the judgements she has against other girls she considers to be slutty and backs off on his advances and above all genuinely likes her rather than just using her for sex. he evolves a million other times as the show progresses because the show values its characters and the way they're written, which wouldn't be the case if they were just using the bare bones of 80s media tropes and calling it a day.

not to mention how stranger things' most iconic images are things entirely original to the show. the letter wall was everywhere and recreated a million times, el's pink dress + eggo box look was a million halloween costumes, the nail bat was so popular it made a whole reappearance in the season two trailer, i could go on. somehow the show managed to create these very iconic images that feel like they're from a classic 80s movie despite being made in 2016. it would be insanely easy for the show to just not even bother with coming up with their own visuals and instead go the ready player one route where the supposedly impressive scenes literally just feature a popular 80s character

not everyone is gonna agree obviously but i think stranger things is genuinely a well made show in season one, when the 80s trend kicked off after its enormous success. and im not gonna act like it never uses nostalgia as a draw-in because it definitely mentions star wars more than necessary and season three was clearly written around the concept of an 80s mall, but it's obvious that everyone involved with making the show cared about its quality rather than just slapping together some references because they knew it'd do well. it has a compelling story with a large cast of mostly well written characters and great actors and unique dynamics etc etc etc. you can tell when something is made entirely to bank off a specific aesthetic because it generally doesn't end up drawing people in and keeping them dedicated to the story. and stranger things did kickstart a long trend of nostaglia based media, much of which is unoriginal and mediocre, but it shouldn't be dragged down along with them

[mercy-burning]

Losing You Twice / 1: If I Hated You

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: It’s Valentine’s Day weekend, and it turns out Y/N isn’t the only one struggling with the breakup. Category: Smut (18+), Angst Content Warnings: Language, drinking/getting drunk, penetrative/unprotected sex (If I missed anything, please let me know!) Word Count: 5,538

SERIES MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST

“My bedtime is the darkest, that’s when I’m brokenhearted. The nighttime is the hardest. It’d be easy, if I hated you.” —FLETCHER, If I Hated You

FEBRUARY 13th

It was Valentine's Day weekend, which sucked this time around. Every year for the past three years Y/N looked forward to Valentine's Day, but that was when she actually had someone to spend it with.

Well, someone she actually cared about, anyway... Whether or not Spencer actually knew it, she did really care about him. She was just stupid and didn't say it when he needed to hear it the most.

And now Valentine's Day was on Saturday and Y/N was still without him. Not alone, but still without the man who'd spent the significant holiday with her for the past three years. Memories of their dates and 'afterparties' flooded through her mind as she got ready for work like a montage, a cheesy love-song playlist she'd found on Spotify acting as the soundtrack.

Eventually she sighed and turned it off, opting for something more loud and obnoxious, and therefore not tainted by Spencer's memory. She applied what was left of her makeup and added a pair of earrings before turning the music off altogether and shoving her phone in her bag alongside her keys and other necessities.

Even though she wasn't emotionally prepared for all the cheesy Valentine's things she'd see and hear and experience throughout the weekend, it was still kind of nice to see that things in the bank never changed during the holidays— Everything in her life was so severely different at the moment, that if Marjorie had somehow decided to throw out all her elaborate decorations for each holiday, no matter how small, Y/N would have thought the world was truly ending.

Speaking of, she was met with Marjorie's brighter-than-the-sun smile almost immediately once she set her things in the breakroom.

"How's my little macaron this morning?" she chirped, Y/N chuckling slightly at the nickname— She brought macarons from the bakery down the street on her first birthday she spent at the bank, and ever since then, the older woman had adorned her with the namesake.

"She's alright, Marj... Better now that she's seen you..."

"That boy still on your mind, hon?"

Obviously Marjorie's intentions were good, but Y/N couldn't stand to think about the situation at all, least of all at work... So, setting her jacket on the rack, turned away so that her coworker wouldn't see the visible discomfort on her face, Y/N squeezed her eyes shut and cleared her throat. "So, what are your plans with Geno tomorrow night? Anything special?"

There was a brief pause before Marjorie cleared her throat as well. "Nothing short of our usual dinner plans, my dear. He's been so caught up with work at the Mill lately, I think we're just going to spend the night relaxing."

"Hm," Y/N said shortly, finally turning around and giving her the best smile she could. "Maybe I should take a page from your book and stay in..."

"You weren't going to?"

"No... Britt's been nagging me about getting out there so we're going out tomorrow night. We both haven't been single in a long time, so... Should be fun."

Marjorie didn't look convinced. Either way, she nodded with a smile and walked over to Y/N with something glittery and bright red in her hand— A cheap beaded necklace to clip her nametag onto. She draped it over Y/N's neck and patted her shoulders. "Well, I want you to have fun. And remember that you still have to come to work on Monday. Whatever shenanigans you get into should be reserved for Saturday night only so you can rest properly on Sunday, got it?"

Y/N laughed, thankful for the playful tone in Marjorie's voice. "Yes, Ma'am."

"Oh, I joke, I joke," the older woman said with a bright laugh, turning to walk out of the break room. "A little..."

The smile on Y/N's face only really lasted until after Marjorie was out of sight, then she went into her bag and clipped her nametag onto the red beaded necklace with a sigh.

Was she excited to have a good night out with Britt? Of course. Hell, had it been literally any other day of the year, she would have been practically bouncing off the walls with excitement at the idea of going out to a bar, letting men hit on her until she finally let one of them take her back to his place for the night.

But it just felt like it was too soon.

Either way, she was glad that she'd get to see Britt again, after she'd been on vacation for Christmas and New Year's to see her family and only got back a few weeks ago. She'd seen her on Facetime of course, and they met up once for coffee right after Britt got back from her trip, but a well-needed night out and quality time getting ready together was something that had been missing from their friendship for almost a year.

Y/N knew Britt would most likely spend her time trying to hook them up with end-of-the-night dates, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad...

Even still, sleeping alone the night before was probably one of the worst spells of loneliness she'd ever had. It was normal to be sad spending the first Valentine's Day in years away from a significant other, but knowing how things ended between them—bitter and stained with words left unsaid—this time was just... cold.

And that was putting it lightly.

Y/N laid in bed that night, her eyes wide open and staring at the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars that adorned the ceiling. They used to give her comfort, but now they just reminded her of all the nights she'd spend with Spencer, listening to him tell stories about the constellations. They were some of the most peaceful memories she had.

And now those, too—those stars that had grounded her pretty much all her life and reminded her of the better days—were tainted by her inability to properly communicate.

She almost thought about taking them down.

But if she was really going to get over him this time, for good, then she'd have to learn to make new memories with the stars. Even if it was painful. Even if replacing those memories and writing new ones over them absolutely tore her soul to pieces.

And, as if that pain wasn't enough, that night Y/N dreamt of him, making love to her amongst the stars in every galaxy, only to wake up the next morning cold and alone.

FEBRUARY 14th

She promptly decided that she hated his guts.

It was Valentine's Day, Y/N was respectfully buzzed, and courtesy of two beers and four shots of tequila, she'd just deleted Spencer's number from her phone.

"I'm done," she said, waving a hand at Britt and shoving her phone in her purse. "He doesn't deserve my wallowing."

"Yeah!"

Britt was significantly the more drunk of the two, resulting in a fit of giggles after gaining some stares from the people around them at her sudden outburst.

Y/N smiled, finishing off another shot and shaking her head. "We need more!"

"More shots!" Britt hurried off to grab them, leaving her friend behind with a half-drunken smile that also only felt half-genuine.

Sure, she decided she hated Spencer's guts, but her heart didn't exactly agree well with that sentiment. Even after deleting his number from her phone, after downing all that alcohol, her heart still ached.

Y/N knew deep down that getting over him was going to take some time. A lot of time... But maybe one night of distraction would help.

So the shots kept coming, and by the end of the night, Y/N was just about at her limit.

Which was near black-out drunk. And when you're that drunk you tend to make decisions you wouldn't soberly condone.

Britt got into a cab, and she begged Y/N to come with her, but she assured her friend that she had someone to come pick her up. Eventually the cab driver got tired of their inability to decide, and when Y/N told him to go, he did, leaving her alone on the side of the street at 1am.

Unfortunately, it was incredibly cold, and she didn't really have anyone to come pick her up. And that's where the bad decisions started.

Y/N pulled her phone out, a long sigh escaping her as she dialed the number by heart.

Would he even pick up? He hadn't answered any of her calls or texts before, so why would it have been any different now? Not to mention it was Valentine's Day Weekend. With her luck, he was probably in bed with someone else. Someone who wasn't her. As she listened to the dial tone repeating in her ear, images of him wrapped up with somebody else—sleeping in the bed she'd slept in many times before—clouded her drunken brain and made her more angry than anything.

Her gut twisted, and she almost hung up.

But then the low buzz of the dial tone abruptly stopped and in its place came his voice.

"Y/N?"

Her name on his lips, even through the phone, was grounding, the anger in her system melting away and revealing a coat of drunken relief.

"Spencer! You answered!"

"Yeah... Are you— Is everything okay?"

"Pff, yeah, 'm-fine. Just really fucking cold."

"You're not outside, are you?"

"Duh, I'm outside... I wouldn't be cold in-side... Besides, I didn't call t'alk bout the weather, I need you t'come pick me up."

There was a brief pause, and for a moment Y/N didn't think he was going to say anything she wanted to hear. She swayed on the sidewalk, shivering and praying that he would throw her a bone, even if she'd regret it all in the morning.

"Where are you?" he said finally, and despite herself, she smiled.

FEBRUARY 15th

Spencer couldn't believe he was picking her up at near two in the morning.

Honestly, he'd initially thought about ignoring her call again, but remembering the day it was and taking note of the time, he figured she was most likely in some type of inebriated trouble.

His instincts were right, of course, but he wished that he could have been wrong. He wished she'd only been calling to drunkenly ramble on about how she missed him or maybe how he was stupid and she never wanted to see his face ever again, because that was normal. At least then he could have hung up after she was done and never thought about it again— it was a normal step in any relationship that helped move things along. They could have gotten on with their lives and it would have all been over.

But of course it was never that simple.

Y/N was never that simple.

He pictured her on the street near some bar, alone and cold and drunk, and of course he would have been the only one she could call to rescue her. After all, he'd been pretty much the only thing she'd ever known to make her feel safe.

Still, he wished he was capable of only giving her a ride home and then leaving.

But again, it was never that simple.

It was easy getting her into the car— that wasn't what he was worried about. Rather, it was the fated moment where she'd ask him to stay after he finally got her tucked safely into bed that worried him. Because it was bad enough that it was Y/N... It was her in all her alluring glory, and he'd never been able to deny her anything no matter how badly he tried or wanted to.

Now add on the fact that she was drunk, and most likely sad on their first Valentine's Day apart, and it was a recipe for disaster.

Even if she'd broken his heart, Spencer still cared about her.

Which is why he inevitably agreed to stay, at least until she fell asleep.

He knew her well enough to know all the ways she'd try to get him under the covers with her, so it was a familiar amusement that settled in his being when he was finally able to get on top of the covers with her underneath. But as he entertained her silly little questions with the right answers until she fell asleep, Spencer noticed something else accompanying that amusement.

Guilt.

And then anger for feeling guilty about her sadness— sadness that could have been avoided had she just gotten over whatever was holding her back and either returned his "I love you" or  told him she wasn't feeling the same way just yet.

All she had to do was talk.

He had a right to feel upset about Y/N holding back when he'd been nothing but patient, spending almost every year of their relationship trying to make her see that she had nothing to be afraid of. He'd given her every chance to talk about what she was feeling, whether it was happy or not, and every time she pushed it all away in favor of sex.

That wasn't what he wanted in a relationship, so he ended it. And there was absolutely nothing wrong with that.

So why was he feeling so fucking guilty?

He blamed his good nature and innate need to please people, to make them feel good and happy. But he also blamed Y/N and her adorable drunken sleeping face.

He watched as she slept, willing himself not to forget the way she hurt him. She'd completely stolen his heart and shattered it at the same time, and if he was being honest, she still held some of the pieces. But he couldn't get them back, not if he didn't want to risk shattering her own heart in the process.

It felt like they were tied together by some strong, invisible force that wouldn't break unless both of them broke right along with it.

So... maybe he could afford to leave those pieces of his heart with her. He'd have to if they were going to get out of this alive. Not unscathed, sure, but alive nonetheless.

Once he was sure she was deep in sleep, Spencer quietly and carefully got off the bed and navigated through her apartment, getting her a glass of water and leaving it on the table next to her bed. And because he couldn't help it, he cleaned up some of the clothes that were scattered around her floor, depositing them into the hamper and straightening out a few more things that were out of place.

He looked over at her sleeping figure one more time, sighed, and then left, keeping her bedroom door open just a crack.

***

Spencer knew he shouldn't have stayed longer.

Despite his better judgement, he'd plopped himself down on her couch after making sure she was sound asleep, hoping to catch his breath and sort through what he was feeling before he got behind the wheel. But of course, it was 2am and he was exhausted, and he couldn't stop himself from closing his eyes and drifting off.

And now he was sitting up, looking around the apartment through the lens of morning.

Though the curtains were sheer, they didn't provide much light, but enough of it showed him just how familiar the space was. Y/N hadn't moved anything around. The same art was on the same walls, the potted ivy plant on her mantle sat un-watered and withering, and every book and record and DVD on her shelves was in the exact same spot as they'd all been the last time he was there in December.

Meanwhile, after the breakup he'd re-arranged everything. He was so sure that they were through for good this time around that he wanted a clean slate. Not that he wanted to rid himself of her memory completely, but if he was going to move on from the hold she'd had on him, he had to do something...

And yet, he ended up at her apartment the morning after Valentine's Day all the same.

He heard the shower running faintly a couple rooms away. You didn't have to pass the couch to get there, so maybe she hadn't seen him sleeping and he could get away cleanly.

Spencer scrambled off the couch, thankful that he hadn't removed his jacket or his shoes and that he could just sprint towards the door without having to find any of his belongings.

But as luck would have it, the second he took a step, the shower turned off. He had to get out of there quickly, but if he did then she'd definitely know he'd stayed overnight. But if he went quietly, he wouldn't have enough time before she caught him.

Maybe I could hide...

He shook the thought with a roll of his eyes, settling on the clearest course of action, which was to make as quick of a getaway as he could. He'd try to be quiet as well, though the creaky door was going to be nearly impossible to get through without a sound.

His hand was on the doorknob when he heard her voice.

"You didn't think you could spend the night and then leave without saying goodbye, did 'ja?"

The pure amusement in her tone made his stomach churn, and it wasn't unpleasant in the slightest.

Spencer turned and smiled softly, avoiding looking at her completely. "Sorry. Didn't want to bother you."

"You're never a bother."

That sentiment held less amusement and more sincerity, which was what guided his eyes to meet the woman who said the words.

His stomach twisted again when he saw her, exactly like he knew she'd be— wrapped in nothing but a thin towel with near-dripping hair cascading down her back. Her legs were bare and exposed, the towel not only thin but short, which meant that her chest was also practically spilling out of it. Despite the obvious and inevitable hungover look in her eye, there was also a good splash of that mischief that'd always been there— the kind that spelled out trouble.

He needed to get out of there.

"Well, um... I'm glad I got you home safe," he said, clearing his throat. "I should... I should go."

"You sure you don't wanna stay for breakfast?"

Spencer could have sworn she was teasing him, dangling her body in front of him like a meal they both knew he wouldn't be able to resist. But then she added, "I've got everything I need for your favorite omelet," and he exhaled with a small smile, exhausted with his own mind for convincing him that she was out to pull him back in.

Still, he declined. "No, I... I shouldn't. But, uh, thank you..."

"You sure?"

This time when he looked up at her, she was closer. She was gently striding forward to meet him, and he half thought about backing up towards the door until he realized he was already there.

"I—I'm sure. Really."

"But you drove around all night just to take me home when I was drunk, the least I can do is feed you..."

"Eh, it's alright. It's... Nothing I haven't done before."

She stopped then, her eyes briefly dropping to the floor. It was like her whole demeanor changed—just for a second—from the prowess she'd always been, to what seemed to be a woman filled with sadness and regret. It didn't last long though, just enough for Spencer to notice it before she looked back up at him with that wicked gleam in her eye and a remark right at the tip of her tongue.

"Still. I feel bad, making you do all that for me... Especially now."

He wasn't sure what to make of this... It seemed like she was sincere, but she was also alluring, calling to him like a siren leading him to his ultimate demise. And while he'd come to know that as merely a part of her nature, he couldn't help but shake the feeling that she was doing it on purpose.

She was in a skimpy towel, after all, and she definitely knew how to use that to her advantage.

It didn't help that he didn't have the courage to leave. Everything inside of him right then longed to drop that towel and indulge himself once more. Putting aside all the heartache and the differences they shared, all he felt in that moment was the need to touch her— to get lost in her and never be found again.

She was his fatal flaw, and it was painfully obvious.

Spencer knew he shouldn't have stayed longer...

He was over to her in just three strides, throwing off his jacket and tossing it aside before cradling her face with his hands and bringing their lips together for the first time since Christmas Eve.

The small whine in her throat signaled that she hadn't expected it, but welcomed it all the same. The moment she lifted her arms to wrap around his neck, the towel fell to the floor, and there was no going back.

"What about breakfast?" Y/N breathed out once they pulled away for air.

Spencer contemplated, studying her face, seeing the way her eyes sparkled, and decided on the two words that sealed his fate.

"Screw breakfast."

Their lips were melded together almost as soon as the words left his mouth. And it wasn't long before every other part of their bodies were melded together as well.

Y/N helped him take the rest of his clothes off as they danced around the entryway and the living room. Everything was open, no walls separating the living room from the kitchen, so to compensate for the lack of breakfast they'd be eating, they migrated to the kitchen counter once Spencer had off everything but his boxers.

He trapped her against the cool marble of the countertop, her back hitting it solid and sending a shiver up her spine. Meanwhile his hands roamed her body, unsure of where to be other than on her at all times, whether it be her waist, her stomach, her arms, her breasts, or her ass. He wanted to feel all of her, and quite frankly she wanted the same.

She even told him so, in her own way, by bringing one of her legs up and wrapping it around his waist, pulling him closer to her as she wove her fingers through his hair and tasted his tongue with her own.

The action elicited a groan from his mouth, low and desperate. Spencer settled his hands on her waist and gripped it tight, silently telling her what to do.

So she jumped up and he helped guide her swiftly onto the counter. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist again, and he found himself grinding into her hips, urgent to feel every part of her. And thankfully she was feeling rather desperate herself, because she rolled her hips up into him in return, breaking their mouths apart just briefly to speak.

"Fuck me..."

There was so much he wanted to say to her in that moment— how badly he was feeling about keeping her entertained while he was slowly deteriorating inside from her emotional detachment and rejection, how much she frustrated him, and more prominently, how she was so goddamn impatient and that he was getting there...

But all that he could manage was a broken, desperate whisper of her name.

It was all he'd ever known.

All that frustration... All that anger, heartache, passion, and time apart combined beautifully into those few syllables that made up her name and tore him apart from the inside out.

And his hands were just as destructive.

Spencer deftly dropped his boxers to the ground and pushed forward, almost losing all sense of self the moment the head of his dick finally made contact with her cunt. He made his way inside of her and then used both of his hands to grip her waist and bring her closer, their mouths connecting harshly as they found one another once again.

His grip was bruising— not possessive in any way, but desperate, like he had to cling to her for dear life or he wouldn't live to see another day. He held himself inside her, sighing and whimpering into her mouth as she clenched around him. It was so familiar, so comfortable and exhilarating that he almost didn't even want to move. He thought about staying there, still inside her forever.

But as always, Y/N was insatiable.

She wrapped all her limbs around him and held on, rolling her hips and seeking friction in any way possible when she briefly tore her lips away from his.

"I need you, baby, please..."

Even as his heart started to rumble in his chest, well aware of the fact that she still probably didn't love him the way he loved her, Spencer gave her everything. He pulled out and snapped his hips forward again, setting a strong, steady pace that had Y/N's eyes rolling back, and the payoff of hearing her sigh out his name was more than enough to keep him going.

Her nails dug deliciously into his shoulders, the faint sting adding something reminiscent of gasoline to a fire. The flames grew taller and brighter the more he fucked her, and with each gradual increase of volume and intensity, it was a wonder the whole kitchen around them hadn't literally burst into flames.

That's how they always were.

Together like this, so lost in the high of each others' bodies, it was easy to forget the things that made their relationship so hard. It was easy to let all the negativity slip away into the throes of pent-up, well-needed sex. The high they gave each other was merely that— A high...

A distraction.

And while that's exactly what Y/N needed, what she preferred in most cases, it's what Spencer recognized as completely unhealthy, despite his coming back to it every time.

It's also why he dreaded the moment ending. Because once they came down from the high, all that's left would be sadness, regret... Guilt... Their fire burned hot, brightly and wildly, but in the aftermath would lay only a thick layer of deadly smoke between them— hard to navigate, and nearly impossible to breathe in without suffocating.

So they simply burned and burned and burned...

Spencer gripped her so tight he was sure to leave her with bruising. And in turn Y/N dragged her nails down his back and dug them into his ass, her palm laying firmly over the muscles that aided in fucking her into the marbled surface. She whined out curses and moans, and he cried out broken whispers of her name, pet names, and curses alike.

Even once she'd come, he kept going, willing himself to hold on as long as he could. She whined into his ear at the overstimulation. And rather than keeping her legs wrapped around his body, she decided to spread them wide, perching her heels up on the counter as far as she could go and anchoring her fingers through his hair.

And though she might not have had enough orgasms in her to keep up with him, she welcomed it all the same—She welcomed the burn just as much as he did.

Even still, no fire can burn forever.

All concept of time was lost by the time Spencer finally collapsed forward, completely spent and barely standing on weak legs after coming twice. Y/N held onto him tightly to keep him upwards, lightly massaging his scalp with gentle fingers and closing her eyes as she focused on his breathing— the way it fanned over the skin of her bare shoulder and how it sounded, perfectly in time with hers...

It was the most peaceful she'd been in a long time.

She felt him pull out of her, the both of them groaning at the feeling, and a little at the mess it would make.

Spencer gently peeled his body off of hers, sniffing once and avoiding her eyes. "Sorry... You just got out of the shower..."

"It's fine," Y/N breathed. She begged him silently to look her in the eye, but he remained still... Most likely thinking. She could practically see the cogs turning in his brain.

So, in an effort to lighten the mood a bit, she added with a breathy laugh, "Besides... It's nothing I haven't done before."

The callback to his words—and memories of all the times they'd found themselves in this position before—got Spencer to laugh a little, but he still wouldn't meet her eyes.

Finally, he cleared his throat. "I'll... I'll grab the wipes?"

"Oh. Sure," Y/N returned with a thankful smile. It was hopeful, too, though the moment he was out of eyesight, it turned rather sad.

She'd known that behavior before, seen that hesitation in his movements and that sound in his voice.

It was guilt.

Regret.

Probably a bit of self-hatred, too.

When he returned, a pile of her clothes in hand and the bag of wipes on top, she took them from him with a kind smile and cleaned herself up while he put his clothes back on.

The silence was more uncomfortable than anything either of them had ever experienced.

So much so, that Y/N couldn't even muster up the courage to ask him to stay for breakfast— and she always did after one of their post-break hookups.

Maybe this time really was different.

Spencer was just at the door again when she stopped him.

"Thank you," she said. Her voice was so small, he almost didn't hear it. "For bringing me home..."

But he paused, turned, and finally looked her in the eye.

He almost sunk to his knees right there...

Seeing her, arms crossed like she was trying to keep warm, as her head hung low and she looked up at him through sad, hooded eyelids...

It reminded him of the woman he fell in love with.

But in his peripheral, he saw the towel on the floor and was reminded of the woman who'd shattered his heart.

Spencer cleared his throat. Once upon a time he might have returned her thanks with, Anytime, but... Honestly he wasn't sure there could ever be another time. For his sanity, he'd have to avoid 'anytime' at all costs.

So, he settled on, "You're welcome."

He was glad to see her return his kind smile with one of her own, even if it was tainted with sadness, and a small wave goodbye.

Maybe this time it would stick.

Even still, as he closed the door behind him and made his way to the parking lot, for some reason it didn't quite feel like goodbye.

And some of that deadly smoke that settled in his lungs as he drove further and further away from her apartment was inclined to agree.

***

Neither of them could sleep that night.

While Spencer stared out the window of the jet, a little annoyed to be called out on a case so late but at least thankful for the distraction, Y/N laid in bed, staring at the stars on her ceiling.

The same constellation caught their eye.

Columba.

The Dove.

She hadn't even meant to arrange the stars like that, but one night after a date, they were laying in her bed and Spencer pointed out that the cluster of plastic stars right in the corner of the ceiling looked like Columba.

Y/N fondly remembered Spencer telling her about how it was originally named to represent Noah's dove, which searched for dry land during the great biblical flood and returned carrying an olive branch to make news of its recession— of peace at last.

The memory made her smile. It tugged at her heart and made her dreams of him even more vivid.

All the same, Spencer noticed the constellation outside the jet window and remembered that same night. The smile on her face as he told her the story, the feel of her fingers gliding softly over the bare skin of his forearm...

It was the first night since he'd met her that he thought it.

I love her...

He almost told her then, too, but he was afraid it was too soon. So he refrained.

Looking back, Spencer was starting to regret that— Maybe without that extra time together, breaking up would have been easier. But instead, he gave her more time. He gave himself more time to fall deeper in love with her, and in the end it still wasn't enough.

Now they were both looking at the same constellation, one made of plastic and the other of gas, wondering if their flood would ever recede.

And in the event that it did... Who would be the dove, and what would be their olive branch?

“You know I dream about getting back together in the future, I could focus on you. But if I leave right now, I hope that you don’t find someone that touches you the way that I do...”

***

SERIES TAGLIST:   @reidyoulikeabook​ @yourmisosoup​ @fortheloveofcriminalminds​ @bellzo17​ @altsvu​ @flipperpenguins​ @mcumorningstar​

TAGS NOT WORKING: @reid-to-me @totallyclearwitch

[hoodievixen]

Find my Way Back to You - The Umbrella Academy [Part 2]

The Hargreeves never expected the teen declaring the end of the world to become someone close. But leave it up to Ryn, who can see the future, to find their way into the weird dynamic of the Hargreeves siblings. Though there are many things that don't seem right about them. Some could be chalked up to her powers, others, no one would ever believe on someone's word alone. And she knew that.

Five x OC

------------

Notes: The weird predicament of Five's physical age vs. mental age will be addressed. Can't explain, cause it's a large part of the story (and spoilers). IT IS NOT PEDOPHILIA! not to mention both Ryn and five are asexuals (sex-repulsed and never got to figure it out respectively) so there will be no devil's tango.

I will be referring to Viktor as Vanya and with she/her pronouns for what is season 1 and season 2. I do not want to take away that part of the character, and want the transition to be included. I believe removing that and referring to him as Viktor from the start is ignoring the struggle he went through. (Nothing against people who use Viktor and he/him pronouns in fanfics that would be during s1/s2. This is just my own opinion)

----------

Series Warnings: themes of trauma and mental health, mentions of suicide, cannon typical violence, mentions of blood, mentions of injuries, alcohol consumption, drugs, toxic relationships (in reference not practice), questionable morals, swearing, gaslighting, manipulation

Chapter Warnings: Talk of suicide, dumpster diving

Word Count: ~2k

Master List

Five stormed out of the donut shop. He needed to find that kid. They had been right. She tried warning him about the commission, as well as pointing out his tracker. He was holding onto the doubt of her just being someone playing a prank. But it was now clear they were the real deal.

Five would search the entire city for them if he needed to. However when they had said "I'll be around" they were not lying. Five found them digging in the dumpster next to the Hargreeves house.

"I wouldn't have pegged you for a dumpster diver," Five commented.

Out popped a platinum head of hair. "I was looking for something important, but I think I'm too late," they groaned.

"You weren't joking?" Five asked, not caring it it was to a butt of a person climbing out of a dumpster.

"Nope," she said, popping the p. "Can really she the future. And past. And present. But like the future is the fun part.... most of the time."

Five gave them a once over. They clearly didn't look the age, but neither did he. "When we're you born?" he asked. She could be another one of the 43 kids he and his siblings where from.

"September 11th," she answered, slipping her box of a bag over her shoulder. It was a brown faded leather, covered in stickers and painted doodles. They pulled out a handful of metal, jewelry.

"You really are just an anomaly." Five commented, mildly confused about their existence.

Ryn clicked their tongue. "Not by choice... Now is there a reason you found me, or just trying to mildly harass me." They slipped on a bundle of bracelets to both wrist. There were plastic bands, cheap beads, crystal beads, as well as metals and jewels.

"How dose the world end?" Five asked.

Ryn seemed prepared for that question. "V is for very, very extra ordinary." She was slipping on ring, one on about every finger. Again, a variety of quality, one was plastic, while the nicest one was of gold and opal.

So that part wasn't a joke either. "Who is involved with the end of the world?" he continued on.

"No body mention my familia," Ryn said, once again prepared. They had clipped a velvet choker on, and was working on getting in an earing. It looked like a sword piercing through her earlobe.

"Spanish?" Five question.

Ryn shrugged. "It's from a movie soundtrack." She finally finished of the pile of jewelry, by tucking a locking chain under their shirt.

"My family, or your family?" Five asked for clarification.

"Wasn't me," Ryn was quick to answer. Clearly still using song lyrics. She was now messing with the rings, making sure they felt right on her fingers.

Five groaned. "Even a simple question like that?"

Ryn laughed, "No, that one just easily came to mind. It's your family." They picked up the flannel shirt of the ground and tied it around their waist.

"Who is the owner of the eye?" Five asked, wanting to stump her. He didn't want her to expect every question he was going to ask. Not to mention not even appearing to care about the questions being asked.

"Can't you see all I really want to be is your boyfriend," Ryn said, showing slight signs of embarrassment. "Then like the entire song of Bohemian Rhapsody fits pretty well." They stuck their hand into their pockets and swayed on their feet.

"Bohemian Rhapsody?" Five wondered.

Ryn let out a dramatic gasp. "You don't know Bohemian Rhapsody? The best song in all of existence?"

"There wasn't really music after the apocalypse," Five explained.

"Than my goal is before the end of the world to at least introduce you to Queen," Ryn declared. "And ya know, stop the end of the world"

"Alright one last question right now," Five sighed. Whole he had plenty of questions, as none of her answers made sense. " Do you have any obligations for the next 8 days?"

"Just make sure my brother knows I'm not dead," Ryn shrugged, "Or doing anything illegal. Which I feel will be the harder one."

Five nodded. "Alright," he then started walking back to the car he had just got out of. "I think the only person we should trust right now is Vanya?"

"Why only V?" Ryn asked as she was quick to follow Five.

He grabbed the door to the driver's side door, turning back to look at Ryn. He wanted to make sure he heard them right. "Vanya?"

"V," Ryn repeated in a serious tone.

Five just sighed. Easy to tell Ryn wasn't one to argue with. "Get in," he told her, opening the driver side door for himself.

Ryn climbed into the passenger side, and quick to buckle herself in as Five was already pulling off. "We could just walk," Ryn pointed out.

"It late, and I want to get their quickly," Five explained.

Ryn reached into her bag pulling something out. Five was to focused on the road to see though it didn't sound like a weapon. "Couldn't you just jump through space to get there?" she questioned, though it seemed only half her attention was on the conversation now.

"But you can't," he pointed out.

Ryn hummed, and gave an audible shrug. "The is correct, however, out of the two of us, I'm the one who has a valid driver's license." Five could hear the sound of pen on paper. They were writing something.

"There isn't a DMV in the apocalypse," Five said sarcastically.

"I know," Ryn said simply, "Just telling you not to get pulled over."

Five scoffed, "I could loose any cop."

Ryn sighed. "Don't commit a crime, when you're committing a crime." There was the loud sound of paper ripping. "There are quite a few serial killers who got caught by routine traffic stops." She sat the piece of paper down between the two of them, closer to Five.

Five glanced momentarily at the paper, trying to see what was written on it. "What's that?" he asked, not able to make anything out without stopping the car.

"Wrote down the answers to your questions, just so you have them down," Ryn explained. "For reference."

Ryn then leaned back into her seat. "So what, you're like 60, in a thirteen year old body," they pointed out. "That's got to be weird. Like is your brain still that of a 60 year old, or that of a thirteen year old?"

"What dose it matter?" Five groaned.

"Curiosity killed the cat," Ryn said as an explanation. "And like the human brain is so weird. And that not including time travel and age manipulation. Like human brains don't fully develop until the age 25. But then in 30's or 40's it starts to loose mass. Like you really only have what, five years of peak brain function. Seems like a waste."

"Are you ever quiet?" he groaned, not wanting to talk.

Ryn clicked their tongue. "If I want to be."

"Please shut up," Five plead.

Ryn forced a wide smile onto her face. "Only because you asked nicely."

---------------

Corine came walking in with a bottle of wine and a pack of beer. While plenty of alcohol had been found through the years, Corine had been admitted that they don't drink it. They sat down on their bed, a mattress they dug out of the rubble and fixed with clothing that couldn't be worn by either of them.

"What are you doing?" he asked them, setting down the book he was reading.

"What dose it look like?" they scoffed, trying to pull the cork out with their hands. "I'm gonna drink."

He gave them a questioning look. "You are the one who says we shouldn't," he pointed out.

"Well I'm 21 today, and by the law of what once was the government of the land we live upon, I can now get intoxicated as a please," they pointed out. They had given up on using their hands and pulled out their knife to get the cork out. It did not come out in one piece, but they could now drink the wine.

He didn't know how to take that. It was their birthday. He knew their favorite color, which sources of water they prefer, even the songs they like to sing, what their favorite part of a combustible engine is. Yet he didn't know their birthday. He didn't even know they were still keeping track to be able to know what day it is.

They took a swig of the wine, physically cringing and gagging at the taste. Yet they didn't hesitate to take another drink. "It's been five years," they mumbled to themselves.

It clearly wasn't the anniversary of the end of the world. That was in late winter, early spring, whole it was turning from summer to fall. They were talking about something else. "Care to share what your lamenting about?" he asked.

"Woo!", they let out a half hearted cheer. To try and bring something to the monotony of the apocalypse, they chose a word from a dictionary, and tried to use it plenty throughout the day. That day it had been 'lament'.

They fell back into the mattress, not caring about the spilt wine. "It's really weird dude," they said.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Try me." He told them plenty about their life which was anything but normal.

"Could never tell you what happened the day I turned the day I turned seventeen," they sang out. They'd commonly sing lyrics instead of answering questions, or holding conversations.

"Hey, who else are you going to tell?" he asked, throwing a rock at their foot.

"It was my seventeenth birthday. The one between the sweet sixteen and turning an adult. I didn't expect much, I never did. Did not have the track record of good birthdays, starting with the day of my birth. I just wanted a nice dinner and to eat some cake.

My brother came back in to town for the week, as well as my sister drove in from college the day of. I couldn't tell them I didn't want them there. My parents wouldn't have believed me if I told them I hated my siblings. Throw those two in with my already terrible mental health, and I just wanted to be done.

I took a handful of so many medications, and just layed down in the bathtub. I woke up a couple minuets later in my bed. I went into the bathroom, and there in the bathtub was my own body." They took a long drink of the wine. " Luckily there was some wetland behind the house, so I didn't need to transport the body far. But burying your own body, it's... traumatizing.

And it's not like I could tell anyone, they wouldn't believe me."

He got up and went over to sit next to them. There were so many more things to be worried about than how the bottle of wine was now empty. "You wanted to kill yourself?" he asked in disbelief. They were the one trying the hardest to survive since they met.

"Yup, but I couldn't," they declared, throwing away the bottle. "Instead I worked to graduate high school early, saved every penny I earned, and sold of what I could. I ran away, I killed the parts of me I could. I was going to start new. But a week later, the world ended."

With a groan they sat up, pulling the back of beer to them. They pulled open the cardboard an pulled out a can. "Help yourself," they offered, cracking open the can. "Cracking open a cold one with the boys."

"You're really just gonna move past all that?" he questioned.

They nodded. "Yup, nothing but facts from the past. Just keep moving forward."

Songs in Chapter (In order of appearance) - L-O-V-E Michael Buble - Familia Anuel AA and Nikki Minaj - Wasn't Me Shaggy - Boyfriend Big Time Rush - Seventeen Marina

[alittlefrenchtree]

so,

Dune.

I’m going to start quoting my own words. A few weeks back, I’d said that, in my opinion, for the movie to be great and a success, Hollywood has to respect the precious source material they had in their hands and Dune fans and readers have to remember that a movie can’t be a book and if the movie is made for them, it’s not only made for them and has to adapt to a larger audience, to people who don’t know anything about the universe and most of them never will. The key — for me — was for Denis and the whole team to find that balance. And I think they did a pretty great job with that. Do I think the movie will met boxoffice expectations? I don’t know. It’s been clear for decades that Dune isn’t, by its very own nature, a story for everybody.

It’s a beautiful adaptation. Of course, it’s visually mind-blowing and everything look incredible. The music and the sound are very powerful sometimes a bit agressive with some interesting takes and choices. It might be not my favorite Zimmer work but it does work pretty damn well. There is a boldness and an unexpectied aspect in the whole OST that makes it quite unique. It feels perfectly adapted to year… 10191 or whatever. Or rather, most of the tracks probably aren’t something I’ll listen to on a regular basis on a playlist (unlike some of other Zimmer work and except maybe for the House Atreides and the Paul’s dream tracks 💚) but the soundtrack does serve the movie quite perfectly.

The movie did grew on me on some aspects. For certains choices of their, I was pretty confused in the beginning, thinking why the hell did they do this like that but, later in the movie, these same choices somehow start to make sense and even to be likeable.

The whole casting is really strong with solid performances. I had some expectations for Rebecca and Tim regarding of certain scenes or aspects of their characters and they did not disappoint. An eventual part II would be almost more importantly for the depth of their characters than for the story. They only had time to make baby foetus of the characters they’re meant to be and they really deserve a movie to unfold their whole potential.

Most of the things we’ve already seen/suspect (the Atreides being given some humanity/compassionate/relatable traits ; Lady Jessica being bit cut off) were indeed there. Knowing what to expect made things easier for me. They didn’t do that bad for Jessica so it was fine, even if one of my favorite chapter about her didn’t make it to the movie (but it made sense since the said chapter mostly depends on a story line that has be rightfully erased). I still regret that Hollywood (because I’m almost positively certain that it’s something coming from the producers) felt, as always, the need to reinforce the relatable ‘good ones’ vibes in the Atreides side when it’s something that has very little reason to be in Dune. According to my sister (who was my control-viewer since she hasn’t read and didn’t know much about Dune), they didn’t make them too relatable at all. She was actually surprised hearing me say it’s worse in the book.

On the other hand, they made some clever adjustments, fixed things that didn’t make much sense in the book. Most of the choices they made, including simplify the whole story, were good ones for the sake of the movie, in my opinion. What we’re loosing a bit in terms of poetry of the writing and depth in some philosophical aspects is counterbalanced by other qualities. The movie isn’t trying to be a book, it uses its own strenghts and assets as an audio-visual medium. Even the most Hollywood-y aspect of the movie are used pretty in a pretty smart way. Even for when I was ready to roll my eyes, they showed me were and why they were going this way and it made sense, so I’m ok with it.

I don’t know if I had more thoughts… Of course, as someone who read the book very recently and in great details, I was doomed to be frustrated about a couple things. These are a few lines of Paul that I was waiting to hear and that has been cut or putted in other people’s mouth. I’m pretty sure they can still be put back in his own mouth in part II so I keep my fingers crossed. Overall, I did enjoy the movie very much and I think they all did a good job with something very difficult to translate. I got chills a couple of times and also a couple of starts/jolt which I wasn’t expecting and were very welcome in the experience of the movie.

I very often need a few times to fully embrace an definitive opinion about something so I’m planning to see it again (at least) a couple of times next week. I’ll probably have a few things to add by then.

Again, if you have question about something specific I didn’t mention, feel free to ask 💜

PS: sorry if it’s a bit all over the place or not completly clear. I’m still a bit tired and English is hard anyway 😅

[bluebudgie]

Alright so. That End of Dragons first opinion post. [takes a deep breath]

I'll make it as spoiler free as possible but obviously I'll be talking a liiiitttle bit about the maps.

TL;DR for anyone who doesn't care about the details under the cut: I loved pretty much every moment of it. Probably the highest quality expansion we've had so far. Do I like it better than Heart of Thorns? The answer is a very clear I don't know. Ask me in 6 months or so. Hope that helps.

Alright here we go:

I did a similar post when we finished Path of Fire back then, and it was a bit of a comparison fest between PoF and HoT, and.. I wish I could *not* make this post that way too, but.. in the end I'll have to compare the expansions. It is how it is.

I'll try to keep it short (You all know I can't.) Let's part this into different sections.

And let's start with the story:

As I said before, this is probably the highest quality content we've gotten for the game so far and that goes especially for the story. The story was exciting and emotional, the pacing was pretty good and every single instance felt polished and fun. I already said it some days ago, but one of these instances was probably my favourite instance ever in the game. The newly introduced cast was really strong and immediately made you care about them - and our already established characters got some interesting screen time and character development too. As much as I love the feeling of dread and urgency that HoT's (admittedly not flawless) story had - and I don't think anything in this game can ever replicate that special atmosphere for me - gotta give that point to EoD here. Y'all also know I'm biased for certain plot points they brought up during EoD.

The maps!

I've only 100% completed the first two maps so far and done about 60/70% of the other two.. and clearly haven't seen all the little details that you can discover beyond the "tracked" map completion. Buuuut... I can already tell you very certainly that neither Tangled Depths nor Verdant Brink have been dethroned. That being said I absolutely adore especially New Kaineng City. While not quite as strong, the closest I got to that Ley Line Confluence discovery "oooooh...." effect was definitely on that map, during night time. The jumping puzzle there is also quite lovely! It was a nice tour through a rather eerie section of the map. I think Dragon's End isn't quite as strong as the other three maps, but.. it serves its purpose as a large scale meta map. That being said, Dragon's Stand has the same purpose and is still more interesting to explore. That's fine though. Pretty sure I like all four maps better than any of the PoF maps (not including LS4). Maybe Desolation would make the cut above Dragon's End.

The Soundtrack............

Ooooh boy y'all know I could make a 10k words essay just on that point alone so I'll try to keep it as short as possible.

1. Like the story, incredibly polished high quality content. I've watched the composing livestream and it's incredible how much attention to detail, work, and also respect for the Korean culture has gone into the music. I don't even think I have to mention how this OST knocks the PoF one straight out of the stratosphere.

2. Can't wait until the full 8 hours (not just the official 2 hours of songs) are up on the internet because at least one of my favs seems to be missing from the officially released soundtrack.

3. Re: that ask from the HoT OST conoisseur from some days ago.. It's still the HoT OST for me. Not by much, really, because again the quality is absolutely impeccable, but there's that little something in the atmosphere of the HoT songs that still stands out. That said, there are absolutely quite a handful of songs in EoD I'd rate above some songs from HoT. There really isn't much in between those two soundtracks. If the final battle songs have to go at each other tho? Mordremoth does the race for me (the instanced fight that is. EoD's final battle song easily wipes the floor with the Mouth of Mordremoth theme). Either way both are incredible, but HoT makes the cut overall, with IBS as a very close follow-up to EoD.

General gameplay, metas

I love that really weird decision to finally give us actual ingame information on break bars and combo fields after YEARS. No really, love it. Especially liked that the story at some point forced you to use combo fields, something that has seemingly never mattered before. As an otherwise useless druid (but with a bunch of combo fields and cc!) that was pretty cool.

As for the metas, I can't really judge them so well yet. I've participated (partly..?) in the Kaineng one, as well as the big Echovald boss, and the infamous Dragon's End meta. I did like all of them a lot, but it's hard to tell how they'll fare in the long run. None of these is what 2015-2017 Tarir was to me, but uh.. ..that was special, let's not bring that up now.

OVERALL......

EoD feels like they took the exciting parts of HoT and the polish of PoF and made one ultimate expansion out of it. Especially during the story I had so many "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" moments (that's not a word but you get the feeling I'm sure).

I've been having a blast every single moment spent with the expansion so far.

[julethiefs]

carmen sandiego as the jatp soundtrack

actually yes i am going to combine my two favorite tv shows and you can’t stop me <33

now or never

“clocks move forward // but we don't get older, no”

“keep dreaming like we’re living forever // but live it like it’s now or never”

“and even if we hit the ground, we’ll keep flying”

this song just ??? *screams* carmen right after she escaped vile... her being so excited to explore the world and not caring about falling down and her enthusiasm to stop vile without really knowing what they’re like yet... yeah 

wake up

“get out, get out, relight that spark”

“its not what you lost, its what you’ll gain”

“better wake those demons, look them in the eye”

this song has such jules vibes (jules is definitely julie in this hypothetical au... even besides the names its just so perfect), and besides the fact that julia’s mom is also dead (see necklace theory) jules finding this song and singing it would be so amazing i cannot handle this 

this band is back

“we gotta get ready, cause its been years” 

“can you hear me” “LOUD AND CLEAR”

team red singing this band is back is something that can actually be so personal... 

bright

“life is a risk, but i will take it”

“we will fight to shine together, bright forever”

“together, i think that we can make it” 

do i. do i really have to say how much julethief this is. the way they shine and work well together, the way everything they do is the epitome of a risk but they do it anyways, the way together they can stop vile. yeah i’ll stop now 

flying solo

“my life, my life, would be real low, zero, flying solo”

“if somebody hurts you, im going to get hurt too”

yes i know this song is julie singing to flynn. in this au its jules singing to carmen (or vice versa idk) the amount of brainrot this au can hold... nobody mention stockholm but yeah it definitely fits and just. scream.

i got the music

“weight off my shoulders, dancing instead”

“can't stop the music // back inside my soul” 

i don’t even have coherent reasoning for this one i just think we should get to see jules sing this song and have player rap flynn’s parts. as a treat <3

the other side of hollywood

“we could go make history or you could rest in peace”

“everything has got a price but happiness is free”

“the rain don’t blind the rising souls // they got too much to see”

we all agree that hgc is basically vile but more dramatic and less green, right? also ive been trying to think of which of the faculty would be caleb in this au... i’m guessing countess cleo is the only one who could really pull it off well? but yeah... tr getting stuck at the hgc would be so so good and painrot

finally free

“hearts on fire // we’re no liars // so we say what we wanna say”

“i wanna fly // come alive // watch me fly”

“i got a spark in me” 

“been so long, and now we’re finally free” 

“now till eternity”

this is the ultimate julethief song actually i will not shut up about it (hence the excess of quotes). just !! the way its abt them not hiding anymore, “now till eternity” with “transcends space and time” ... yeah sounds like canon to me 😋  there’s so so so much quality content in this song i love it so much and just. this with julethief ???? my heart can’t handle this kind of excitement

perfect harmony

“bittersweet love story about a girl”

“two worlds collide when i’m with you” 

“we come to life when we’re in perfect harmony”

yes i know this was cs as jatp songs apparently somewhere along the line it dissolved into julethief but honestly are any of us surprised ??? its just so so perfect the way the lyrics describe them is just LGSHDAFLS “two worlds collide” (acme vs jules’s personal wants/desires) “in perfect harmony” *cough cought* did anyone mention the duane interview? no  ‘they work in harmony even when they’re not in the same scenes” yeah practically the same thing !!  (edit bc carmen pointed this out and i am screaming: perfect harmony is basically the tsonts dance scene and i cannot get over this) 

edge of great

“running from the past, tripping on the now” 

“what is lost can be found, its obvious”

“i believe that we’re just one dream // away from who we’re meant to be” 

“we’re standing on the edge of great” 

EDGE OF GREAT MY BELOVED !!! this song is SO iconic and you know whats even more iconic ??? the way it works so perfectly with carmen sandiego... carmen and jules post canon ?? 👀👀👀. i am looking at the lost/found line in particular for that but all of it works so so well (also side note but i would die if we got the classic juke nose scrunches with julethief actually)

unsaid emily

“i should have turned around // but i had too much pride” 

“and write in every empty space the words “i love you” in replace”

“the words i most regret are the ones i never meant to leave // unsaid emily”

to be honest this is the song that stumped me the most? it would take a bit of canon reconfiguring- either we’re making brunt more sympathetic (ew) or carmen grew up with carlotta and then had a falling out ??? i think that would make more sense, especially with carmen trying so hard to find her again after 25 years (the timeline matches closer than expected actually 👀 ) this song is peak painrot so have fun with this besties <33

you got nothing to lose

“ain’t nothing quite like living on the edge” 

“i’m chasing down a thrill, looking fit to kill” 

“you got nothing to lose, boys”

this scene would be so terrifying actually like, we already got the dark!carmen trauma so watching caleb have the ability to manipulate her would just be ABSOLUTE painrot *distant screaming* also the way the offer would be so tempting to team red ?? just bc carmens whole life is living on the edge, chasing down thrills, and being unable to settle down but she stays for jules i. yeah im soft what about it 

stand tall

“and it’s one, two, three, four times // i’ll try for one more night” 

“whatever happens // even if i’m the last standing // imma stand tall” 

“keep holding on, never look back” 

“i keep going on when it’s all falling apart // yeah i know it with all my heart”

thinking thoughts... julethief post canon with this song.... yeah i would be decimated on impact just the way jules thought carmen left but CARMEN COMES BACK.... canon ? i dont know her <33

in conclusion julethief/cs jatp au supremaki besties ♥️

[sunqyu]

Treasure’s Hamada Asahi as your boyfriend

- Hyunsuk - Jihoon - Yoshi - Junkyu - Mashiho - Jaehyuk - Asahi - Yedam - Doyoung - Haruto - Jeongwoo - Junghwan

Request: “ Asahi as a boyfriend please? “ - anon

I’ll be doing this for each member, starting with our robot. I hope you like it. I did it in bulletpoint-style but let me know if there’s anything you wanted differently! - Nova

the most amazing connection

he wasn’t planning on falling in love

let alone get into a relationship

so how did you manage to change that?

he still asks you if you secretly hypnotized him sometimes

because he is WHIPPED

it is rare for him to get flustered

his quietness can be mistaken for shyness but he’s actually pretty confident

until you made him stumble over his own thoughts

and you’d think that would go away after a few months

but no

it’s most obvious when you compliment him

he gets that little smile while looking to the side

‘Ohhh-’ is the only thing he manages to say at first

the thank you following a few seconds later

he’s started wearing buckethats to hide how red his ears get

he doesn’t express his love through words or physical affection

even though he does enjoy cuddling while talking he rarely initiates it

instead, his main love languages are ‘quality time’ and ‘acts of service’

both are expressed very subtly so it might take a while before you realize how much he actually loves you

a few months in you start noticing all the little things he does

whenever you come over everything you’ve ever mentioned you like to eat will be in the fridge

his room is always really neat and cozy and he has a special setting for the color of his lights for when you’re there

and dates outside are always planned in detail

ever since you two started dating he turned on the sound on his phone for notifications

hasn’t said anything in the members’ groupchat for over five months

replies to you within 10 seconds of seeing the notification

he doesn’t even mind calling you

the sound of your voice is way stronger than his annoyance to phonecalls

like I said the most important thing between you two is the amazing connection

he feels genuinely understood by you

and another way he tries to make you feel loved is by opening up

the conversations are soft but endless

it feels like he just gets lost in thought

except this time it’s out loud and he can share it with someone else

you’ve actually made him open up to others a liiiittle more too

just because he understands the value of getting close to someone now

your dates consist mostly of staying in, being in nature or doing things together that he’d usually do by himself

like the time he needed a new passportphoto and wanted you there

or when he goes to get new equipment

his favorites are still the dates where you stay inside though

all the memories you have in that same space

everytime he wakes up it means a little more

and it might sounds cliché but you’re also his inspiration for music

but not in the love-songs about you type of way

it’s more in the beats and instrumentals

one song inspired by the way your laugh sounds when you don’t hold it back

another inspired by how you looked in your raincoat with the sound of the autumn leaves being blown around you by the wind

another by how you hum in your sleep whenever you’ve had caffeine too late

and ofcourse the one inspired by the way your eyes light up whenever he tells you he loves you

truly a great one

even though he doesn’t mainly show his love through affection

he still always lets you know he’s there

fumbling with your fingers in his

tucking your hair behind your ear

giving you a kiss on the cheek whenever he gets up to do something

even if it’s just grabbing the remote

they’ve all become habits

but kisses are still just as special as the first one

no matter how often you kiss and how bold he gets with them

his heart still jumps the exact same way

when you cuddle he likes to be able to see your face

so it’s usually facing each other with your legs intertwined

or your head on his chest as he writes words on your back with his fingertips

his favorite is when you sit sideways on his lap, leaning against him

you’ve actually spend hours upon hours just like that

often waking up in the morning in the same position

you fell asleep while he was humming along to the soundtrack of the Lord Of The Rings movie you had been watching together

and hell to the no that he was going to wake you up to change positions

you looked too peaceful

taking your stress away is one of his specialties

without him really realizing

you could’ve had the worst freaking day and 5 minutes of listening to him speak would easy your mind

he brings out a feeling of security in you

so you never worry or feel jealous

he’s always very clear and you never have any doubts in his honesty

he also doesn’t get jealous that quickly

and when he does it never turns into a big deal

he feels that security just as much

which is why he never doubted your relationship either

eventhough it came unexpected and he wasn’t planning on it

it felt like the right thing from the moment you first met 

and he’s not planning on letting that feeling go

[tea-at-221]

So, let's delve a bit into the Spanish dub of Supernatural.

I'm going to go through a lot of terms here, and a lot of basics, in order to increase people's level of understanding as to how the dub may possibly have come about the way it did.

This post will provide information and, I hope, allow some members of the fandom to move forward with their own theories with more reassurance. Information is power. I will define and clarify industry terms to the best of my novice ability to make it easier for others who wish to do their own research.

This post was inspired by the fact that I've been part of multiple fandoms in which queerbaiting has played an enormous part: I am tired of seeing fandom friends left devastated and without answers, no emotional resolution in sight. So this post is, in spirit if not content, largely dedicated to my fellow Johnlockers and Queliot shippers. And most of all, for Quentin Coldwater, who deserved not just better but the very best.

Disclaimer: This is my own research and there is a bit of speculation involved; I can't guarantee 100% that I will get everything right (I hit some very frustrating walls looking up what should be easy-to-find facts), but I did a *lot* of work for this. Other people will doubtless be able to clarify points/give better specifics/correct what I've gotten wrong. I am not promising a concrete answer to “SPN gate” here, as without more information than we currently have that is impossible to declare with certainty.

More under the cut.

All that having been said, onwards (see end for sources):

First, who airs the Spanish dub of Supernatural?

Answer: the Warner Channel.

Why? It goes back to who owns The CW.

From Wikipedia (2): "The CW Network, LLC, a limited liability joint venture between the CBS Entertainment Group unit of ViacomCBS; and the Studios and Networks division of AT&T's WarnerMedia, the parent company of Warner Bros., former majority owner of The WB. The network's name is an abbreviation derived from the first letters of the names of its two parent corporations (CBS and Warner Media)."

Warner Bros apparently is the side that handles the delegation of dubbing to outside studios. So, who does Warner use for their dubbing? Perhaps multiple studios, but the two I found in the course of my research were SPGStudios(5) (who specifically handle localization for Latin American Spanish productions) and Iyuno Media Group (formerly BTI Studios)(3).

What is localization?

Simply put, it refers to the translation of the home language of the show in question to the language of the new market it's entering. So, Supernatural 15x18 is translated from its native English to Spanish for Latin American viewers.

And what exactly *is* dubbing (actually called revoicing within the industry; dubbing is a widely-recognized term, however, and it's pretty well understood what is meant by it)?

Here is the Merriam-Webster definition:

"1 : to add (sound effects or new dialogue) to a film or to a radio or television production —usually used with "in"

They dubbed in the music.

2 : to provide (a motion-picture film) with a new soundtrack and especially dialogue in a different language

The film was dubbed in French and Spanish.

3 : to make a new recording of (sound or videotape already recorded) also : to mix (recorded sound or videotape from different sources) into a single recording"

There is a slang term, "dubby," which refers to any overdub that is comically jarring and obviously a dub. The history of dubbing has been such that this has become a way to think of and recognize it: by how awful and ineffective it used to be when it came to foreign films sloppily overlaid with English dubbing.

However, we are in the midst of an age of networks and companies scrambling to play catch-up, eager to use modern technology to create more effective, convincing dubs. In short, they see the moneymaking potential of presenting finished works that viewers may not even realize *are* dubbed without careful inspection. It's true that a good dub is about 10x more costly than subtitling, but it's hard to satisfy the viewer's desire for escapism if they can't suspend disbelief because they're busy reading.

The truth of that is reflected in internal statistics Netflix (for instance, but not just them) parses to gauge viewer interaction and retention with their various shows: when comparing subtitled vs. dubbed shows, it's easy to see which is the winner.(1)

So to be sure there is no nefarious intent here, we would need to be able to identify the following:

A.) What exactly was the process for this dub?

B.) Who decides what changes to make during a dubbing process?

C.) Who approves those changes?

*Can* there be such a thing as a "rogue translator," as Misha Collins put it? (I am going to clarify here that I think Misha is an upstanding person who believed the best of the show he was involved in and all the people who made it, so his assumption of a rogue translator makes sense in the context of that emotion-based reasoning).

I'm not sure which studio did the dub for the Latin American Spanish version of Supernatural; if I had access to that episode perhaps it's mentioned in the credits. You'd think that would be simple enough to figure out anyway, but I was unable. So maybe someone can take a look and let me know. But, as an example, here is how SPGStudios outlines their localization (dubbing) process:

1.) They make a digital or analog transcription of a show/movie.

2.) The translation, or localization, is done by their staff (in any of 40 available languages their staff can speak). When translating, they translate for meaning and then adapt for time, tempo, and style. They say that "extensive experience is required to capture the essence of the language dialog while accounting for variances in speaking time between the source and destination languages." i.e.,  wording/word choice will be kept as true as possible to the original intention of the native language, but at the same time the translation will need to use its chosen wording in a way that fits what is being shown on-screen. To produce a convincing/pleasing dub, they won't replace a word like "looked" with a longer phrase like "scanned the horizon" because it's not going to match what's onscreen. That would be venturing into "dubby" territory.

3.) They perform the ADR process: the voice actors (in this case it would normally be Guillermo Rojas performing for Dean Winchester, though it appears things may have been different in 15x18, possibly due to covid) record the new dialogue to replace the original actor's performance.

4.) The newly recorded dialogue goes to the sound editorial department "to ensure that lip-synch is optimized and technical aspects of the vocal performance match the original."

5.) All of the new audio--including dialogue, music, and sound effects--is mixed together to emulate the quality of the original production as closely as possible despite the changes in rhythm that resulted from the dialog having been translated.

6.) Designers, animators, and VFX editors assist with the localization or enhancement of graphics, if needed.

7.) Localized Master: SPG has a 'traffic team' who 'ensures that all client delivery and storage specifications are met, including file formatting, labeling, and uploading." So in other words, the files are heavily encrypted (or that's how I read this).

Presumably, after all steps are performed, SPGStudios transfers the show back to Warner, who then distributes it. The other studio, Iyuno, makes it very clear that *they* can coordinate and handle all distribution themselves to a vast number of networks. That means that if the client desires, Iyuno can send the finished product directly out into the world.

There seem to be two types of scripts that can be given to the dubbing company:

1.) "In-Production Dubbing indicates that dubbing production is active in tandem with post production. In-Production Dubbing fulfillment partners should expect potential changes to source materials."(4)

2.) "Final Asset Dubbing indicates that dubbing production takes place after final delivery of the show. All source assets will be in a final state. The dubbing fulfillment partner should not expect any changes to the source materials."(4)

Without knowing which of these was agreed upon for SPN 15x18, it is very hard to say exactly where or if additional edits may have been performed on the original material that weren't performed on the translated material (in other words, earlier draft).

If the studio was given the episode as an In-Production Dubbing project, this could explain why the title of the Spanish translation reflected the original script title, "The Truth," rather than the final title in English, "Despair".

Assuming this difference was unintentional, rather than a calculated marketing ploy re: audience enticement (which seems admittedly unlikely), then yes, it could indicate a screw-up on someone's part. The question is, was the dub company given the task of generating the title card, or did some other graphics department handle that before the project made it to them? If the latter is the case, the choice to add "Me too" instead of "Don't do this, Cas" could be either a conscious choice on the dub studio's part as sort of a nod to what they thought "the truth" was, or could just be them going with what they were given and making their translation choices based on something else, such as rhythm/timing.

SO, could there have been an original script that had Dean say "me too" in response to Cas, which then went through translation and made it out into the world? Teeechnically yes, but one would assume that the original script and original *footage* would have to have arrived at the dub studio together if the script is being transcribed in-house as SPGSTudios outlines in their process. I'm going to reason that the odds of them using a later edit of the visual--one that contained what in this instance we would be assuming was Warner's preferred dialogue ("Don't do this, Cas") yet choosing to stick with their own audio revoicing of the (supposed) original script/visual's "Me too, Cas" with its now subsequently poor timing, seems unlikely.

So either they would likely have to redo the exact same "Me too" audio again (having made the choice to keep the original dialogue, while also having to work under pandemic restrictions re: travel and talent availability) to make everything match the visual footage time-wise, OR, it was simply a matter that the English scene always was just as we saw it, but that the studio chose to interpret the script the way they did and were able to do their timing the first time around to match accordingly.

This still leaves a question in the air regarding the origin and fate of certain clips of Dean's more visually emotive reaction to Castiel's confession that have been floating around the internet. I've only seen very very brief glimpses of them, myself, and I'm not certain that they're really evidence of anything other than more than one take having been done of that scene, which wouldn't be uncommon and doesn't necessarily point to a conspiracy.

I also want to state that in the wake of 15x18, I opted to protect my mental health rather than follow every development/rumor/speculation that cropped up in the aftermath, so there’s probably a lot that I’m leaving out of this post that may be pertinent. Do me a favor and do assume that I know nothing of it. lol

I will also add this about the other studio, Iyuno: they are very careful to state on their site, repeatedly and with great pride, that they are committed to presenting the world with the smoothest, most true-to-the-original localized version of a film or show possible. Quote: "...our entire team of staff wants nothing more than to make every single one of our partner's content feel as if it were never translated." They are not fucking around. They want to please the client. Would they have done something like the translation in question without any direct go-ahead from Warner? It seems unlikely, though they don't outline their process on their site the way SPG does.

Notice that in the SPGStudios process outlined above, there is no mention made of a review step in which the studio presents the translated dialogue to the client for approval re: the new wording. That doesn't mean there isn't a review step; however, without seeing the contractual agreement that was made between Warner and whatever dub studio they used, or knowing Warner's preferred process by some other means, it's difficult to be certain whether or not there was a review process for the translated script. I did find evidence that Netflix reserves the right to review such translated scripts before air.

Speaking of Netflix, I will include here what their translation requirements are, as I did find those. They, like Warner, also use Iyuno Media Group much of the time for dubbing (voiceover style dubbing in which they apparently like to leave the original language audible underneath, so that's slightly different from revoicing, but I'm working on an assumption that the general expectations are the same for both):(4)

"1. Translation Requirements

1.1 Main Dialogue

   All main dialogue in the source (original) language should be translated unless specifically noted.

   Due to timing limitations, some of the dialogue may be condensed/truncated as long as it retains all essential elements of the plot.

   Please refrain from dubbing redundant words such as character names and repetitions.

       Additionally, do not recreate laughs, hesitations, reaction noises, etc."

I'm looking at that bit: "Due to timing limitations, some of the dialogue may be condensed/truncated as long as it retains all essential elements of the plot."

So let's say just for argument's sake that this is pretty standard language provided to the dubbing studios. Netflix is a giant, so I'll proceed with that assumption given the lack of more concrete information:

Does it really change essential elements of the remaining plot to have Dean return Castiel's declaration of love? Forgetting about the outside, emotional ripple effect such a declaration was bound to set off in the viewing audience, no. The two characters have no further scenes together, nor does Dean go on in the next episode to immediately embark on a new relationship, or tell anyone that Cas said he was in love with him but he couldn't return it because he didn't feel the same. So technically, no rule was broken. And that is what it comes down to, if you're thinking like a lawyer reading a contract: specifics, not theoretical implications or consequences.

So, possibly what we have is something that was simple to add and easy to get away with/argue for: translated dialog that fit a dub better due to its length, and didn't actually change anything plot-wise (or at least, the argument for that could easily be made). This points to the painful crux of the matter: why would the Spanish version of Supernatural which aired in Latin America allow Dean Winchester to return Castiel's declaration of love with a "Me too, Cas"? Could it *really* be as insulting as the fact that "Yo a ti, Cas" would be a quicker, smoother dub than "No hagas esto, Cas"? ("Don't do this, Cas" in English.) Or did they see something they could get away with, and a reasonable argument to provide for it, so they went ahead and claimed a small LGBT+ victory?

Is someone, somewhere, getting in trouble for all this? Maybe. But could action be taken against them? That would look pretty bad, public-relations-wise, for the party expressing condemnation if that got out. Could Iyuno, or whatever other studio (again, I don't actually know which one handled the dub) theoretically feel a ripple effect from the fallout of this? Could they quietly suffer a drop in acquisitions/revenue for "reasons unclear"? Sure. That sort of thing happens all the time, so theoretically yeah.

Whatever the reasoning behind the decision to have Dean return Cas' declaration of love, surely they didn't have to do it. Surely they could have chosen some other phrase that fit. But they chose to do exactly what they did. I don't know what went down, in the end, or whether censorship was indeed involved, but I will certainly say that I think it was a brave and admirable choice that was made with the Spanish dub. It doesn't undo the "bury your gays" trope of course, but for some LGBT+ audience members it surely provides a sense of validation and maybe even lends a little hope for better representation--which is long, long overdue.

Thanks if you read this far. I hope that even though it’s not perfect it will be helpful in some way.

Sources

(1) https://www.indiewire.com/2020/02/subtitles-vs-dubbing-what-you-need-to-know-1202212800/amp

(2) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_CW

(3) https://www.iyunomg.com/

(4) https://partnerhelp.netflixstudios.com/hc/en-us/articles/115016062708-Dubbed-Audio-Style-Guide-VO-Style-Dubbing

(5) https://www.spgstudios.com/localization