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rabdoidal · 5 years

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post ep #69 fanfic:

The campfire crackles intermittently, threatening to give out with the night breeze carried from the Penumbra range behind them, backdropping the party in dusky violet as they set up camp. No one spoke as Caduceus scraped together what native herbs and vegetables he managed to scavenge across their journey in Xhorhas to make a thin stew, anything to make the magically spawned food taste better. Jester was, for the first time in the party’s knowledge, furiously flipping through writing journals and scraps of paper she had kept in her bag of holding; it wasn’t quite the spell books Caleb had amassed, but Jester was a good disciple, always taking notes on what the traveller told her. She pawed through the sporadic cursive; stories of the Feywild, stories of ancient heroes and gods, history, politics, spells he taught her and spells he had only heard of; searching for what may be the cause of Yasha’s change of heart. The sound of parchment flicking and angry tsks was the only sound any of them made. Jester had long since scrubbed away any tears in the hours since they made it out of the tomb. Nott silently offered her flask to Beau, who pushed it away, looking vaguely sick.

“Jester-“ Fjord started, trying to placate her anxious flicking with a hand on her shoulder.

“I’m busy.”

Fjord sighed, “Jester, what’s the point? Can’t you accept what we saw?”

Jester’s hand paused, her grip tightening on the spine as she raised her eyes to Fjord.

“I’m not stupid, Fjord. I’m not denying that something happened back there. I’m the one trying to find a solution, unlike everyone else here.” She snapped. The others looked on, still tired from their silent trek back from the tomb toward Bazosan.

“I’m not calling you stupid, it’s a waste of time and, frankly? If this is something that Beau or Caleb can’t figure out, I’m real curious as to what secrets you’re keeping in that book.”

“Oh, so what, I can’t be smart like them? I can’t have any idea about what is going on?”

“I’m not saying that, I’m saying you’re wasting your time looking for a magic answer! Sometimes people just lie!” Fjord was getting progressively louder, and Caduceus narrowed his eyes in Fjord’s direction.

“How could you say that, after everything we’ve been through with her? She’s our family- my family, at the very least!”

“Been through? She isn’t here half the time! She turns tail every time it starts drizzling, we don’t know the first thing about her!”

“What are you talking about, it’s Yasha!” Jester dropped her book to stand over Fjord, gesticulating to the others. “We don’t know much about her, but we don’t know much about any of us! We’re all…. stupid, dumb, oyster people! No one wants to open up! And that’s not the point, we would know if she’s bad or not!”

Now Fjord was standing, trying his best to look stern, but veering closer to constipated. “You can’t justify if someone’s good or bad by how long you think you’ve known them; she could’ve been lying the whole time!”

Caleb sighs from where he was attempting in vain to transcribe in his spell book, resigned to the fact that they would keep arguing until the group came to a conclusion.

“I know what I saw back there, I know what I heard.” Fjord continued. Jester shoved Fjord with a hand, aiming to jostle, but causing him to take a step back, looking indignant.

“That’s what I’m saying, you dumbass! Magic might have made her say and do those things! We’ve seen it with Caleb, and with Nott, and on the bridge back there – I just…” Jester sat back down, her voice thickening again with tears. “I can’t leave her. I don’t care if you guys want to leave, I can’t. Not until I know what happened to her. I can’t believe you’re so ready to abandon her, after…”

She paused, and Fjord’s face softened, looking regretful. He sat back down next to her.

“She was so broken, when we were kidnapped. Then when she saw Molly, when she spoke about Zuala in the kitchen with Caduceus and I… I’ve seen her try and act, or when she’s been taken off guard or surprised. She’s terrible at it. She didn’t have to try and protect us, she could’ve found stronger people to use, if she wanted tools.”

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I would’ve known if she were a bad person.” Caduceus adds, a dark edge to the rumble of his voice.

“I know.” He said softly, “I know, I’m sorry. I don’t want her to be evil. I guess I’m just looking for a simple answer, or a way to resolve all this. It’d be easy, if she was evil the whole time. How could there be a spell that… all-consuming? Something that lasts even after Oban died?”

“What would you even know…” Jester mumbled. Nott swatted her arm and gave her a disapproving look, something unexpected from the woman who made no secret her distaste for Fjord. “Okay, sorry Fjord, you know about magic too, that wasn’t nice.”

“It’s fine. Honestly, I don’t know the first thing about magic. I guess that’s why its so much harder to comprehend magic like this.” Fjord looked down at his hands.

“In any case, I’ve been wondering about that too.” Caleb offered softly, startling the groups focus away from Jester and Fjord. “When Caduceus, or Jester, or Nott, or Fjord or I are knocked unconscious, our magic fades as well. Mind you, we are not all powerful, nor are any of us fiendish, so perhaps it is an inherent ability to abyssal creatures.”

“Well, aside from Jester.” Nott said. “But only on her mum’s side.”

“Yes, but again, her spells cease upon unconsciousness as well. I have no experience with a charm spell or control spell that lasts more than an hour, and certainly not one that continues under the caster’s will, post-mortem.”

“It certainly seemed like she was on our side, at least at the beginning.” Fjord consented. “She did a lot of damage against Oban and the big freaky hand thing, and neither of them were acing like she was an ally.”

“And she protected us.” Beau said. “Earlier, even. She said to leave her behind if she was captured, or if she died. Why would she say that?” They were all quiet for a moment as Caduceus started passing around plates, glad for the temporary reprieve.

“Did you find anything, Jester? In your books?” Nott asked tentatively as they pushed food around their plates, not settled enough to eat yet.

Jester hummed a little and nodded her head. “I have some theories, but they’re not based on, like, actual spells or anything. Just what I think happened.”

“The floor is yours.” Fjord said. Jester sighed and set her untouched plate aside.

“Number one is she is evil. We can’t rule it out, I guess. Like Fjord said, she is gone a lot, and quiet. But we have seen her try and act, and how many times she has fucked up, and how she reacts to very bad things happening, so I don’t think she was a super powerful super-spy cult leader the whole time.”

“Yes, she was quite shifty, but I think we all have our secrets here.” Nott replied. “Except for Jester and Caduceus, I guess.”

Jester reached over and squeezed Nott’s hand. “Number two is this is a charm spell, and it somehow kept going after Oban died. Which means either it was a normal length spell, or a big super powerful one that lasts a long time.”

“But if it was only an hour, she’d be back by now, right?” Beau asked.

“Not if she is dead.” Caleb said quietly.

“That is another theory.” Jester replied. “Either she is still in there and still charmed, or she fought off the charm and… died alone.”

“I have the feeling she’s still alive.” Caduceus offered. “I can’t be certain, but I haven’t felt anything pass on near us.”

“That is good to know, at least.” Jester said. “My last theory is that Oban had something to do with her lost memories, like we talked about a few days ago. Maybe Oban took her memories and then gave them back when he died, and maybe they were friends or something, so she turned bad because we killed him.”

“Well, that’s not a great option.” Nott said grimly.

“But it also could mean that Oban put fake memories in her head of them being friends, and now she thinks she needs to do what he says?”

“Either way, that means Yasha chose Oban over the Mighty Nein.” Caleb said. Jester’s shoulder’s visibly deflated.

“I think it could also be something to do with the charm spell stuff, or a control spell.” Said Beau. “Maybe it’s like she’s trapped in her body, like she’s possessed by Oban or something else, and is following that thing’s instructions.”

“So that means that either she’s trapped in the tomb as good Yasha, trapped in there as bad Yasha, trapped in there but possessed, dead, or she’s escaped. She would’ve found us if she escaped as good Yasha, but that also means she’s not after us if she’s possessed or evil. We’re not exactly subtle, after all”

“I don’t think she’d be trapped in there for long, she’s too tough.” Said Beau. “So either she’s dead, or she’s out there possessed, or evil.”

“I guess that’s a good thing.” Fjord rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe there’s still some sense of good in her? Even if she’s evil or something?”

“I hope so.” Said Beau.

“I know she’s good.” Said Jester. “Or, maybe not technically good, but I know she loves us. I think that if she can come back, she will come back to us.”

“How long will that take though? Days? Weeks? What if we wait months and she’s dead in there, and we just left her? What if she comes back and doesn’t remember anything?” Asked Nott

“What if she finds us and kills us?” Asked Caleb. They were all good questions.

“We could go back in the morning, try going through extra super careful and see if she’s still in there. Right now, we can’t really do much to help or anything.” Jester added.

“A-yup, I almost died back there.” Said Fjord, finishing the last scrap of food on his plate before leaning back on the hard brown dirt behind him. Caduceus hummed in agreement.

“Tomorrow, then.” Caleb offered. “Shit happens. We almost all died trying to save her, and we are all very low on health and magic, so we are of no use. If she is gone, then we will look for her. If we cannot find her…”

“Then we’ll wait.” Beau finished. “As long as it takes.”

Slowly, they all finished their food, too tired to wash plates for the night, opting instead to pass out as soon as the sun finished setting. Caleb quietly and methodically set up the tiny hut, the bubble feeling slightly too empty to be normal. Caleb told no one that he made sure Yasha could still get inside the hut if she found them in the night, even if it may cost their lives if she was, in fact, evil.

Irrational, he knew, but hopeful.

#personal #critical role spoilers #cr2 spoilers #cr fanfic #its been 80 years but ive been thinking abt this for hours #critrole #not beta read

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ettadunham · 5 years

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A Buffy rewatch 3x17 Enemies

aka bad break-ups

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and rant about it in 10-3k words. What you can expect: long run-on sentences and disjointed observations, often focused on one tiny detail about the episode. What you shouldn’t be expecting: actual reviews that make sense.

And today’s episode finally brings Buffy and Faith’s relationship to a breaking point, in all of its subtextual glory. Meanwhile, I kept rewinding as I tried remembering where the layers of deception started, and the “they don’t know that we know that she doesn’t know that we know” games ended.

And I guess the honest answer is that I still don’t know. The episode doesn’t really end with a flashback answering at what point did the characters realize that something was off… But that’s also part of the fun, as one tries to look for the small signs they could’ve noted as well.

First of all, let’s just all acknowledge this delightful outfit:

We’re entering the stage of truly iconic Willow looks, folks.

Anywho, back to the Fath/Buffy/Angel mind games

Not to toot my own horn and say I told you so (like some characters), but by the end of the episode, I once again got stuck on the deliberate parallel drawn between Angel and Faith as Buffy’s love interests. It’s no coincidence that Buffy asks for a break between her and Angel just when her relationship with Faith has completely fallen apart.

During this rewatch I definitely got the impression that Buffy’s decision there was more of a result of where the whole thing with Faith left her emotionally, than Angel pretending to be bad for the episode. His betrayal was fake and pre-agreed upon. Faith’s was real and devastating.

I guess there’s also a weird BDSM theme here with the comments they make around the chains… So if we roll with that, the comparison is that Buffy and Angel had their safe words there. With Faith… not so much.

To drive the point home that Buffy’s conflict here is with Faith, and this is all about that broken trust, let’s also look at the scene between her and Willow, where she’s talking about seeing Faith and Angel together the night before.

Willow: No way. I know what you're thinking and no way! Buffy: You're right. Faith would never do that. Willow: Faith would totally do that.

We again see here Willow’s clear dislike of Faith, which I find especially fun as we also have Xander voicing some of his classic anti-Angel sentiments in the same episode. I do hope that I’ll have the energy to delve a bit more into that a few episodes from now.

But more importantly, look at Buffy’s line. Her response to the idea of Angel and Faith getting it on isn’t that Angel wouldn’t do that. (Remember, Angel, her boyfriend, the one who’d be cheating on her?)

It’s Faith wouldn’t do that. Faith wouldn’t do that to her.

The conclusion one can draw from that is that either she doesn’t trust Angel to begin with, or that her trust and faith in… well, Faith, is much more important to her right now. Personally? I’m leaning towards the latter.

There’s once again a lot of innuendos as well. (That we’re calling subtext for some reason, even though the sexual and romantic undertones are essentially textual at this point…) Like after Buffy and Angel come out of the movie theater, all full of pent up sexual frustration, and Faith shows up to steal Buffy away literally saying “Don’t worry big guy, just keeping her warm for you”.

I’m…

Faith: *does or says something that defines her relationship with Buffy in an undeniably sexual / romantic way*

me:

And then when they meet up at the library afterwards, and Faith does her usual routine of calling Buffy “girlfriend”, and is all touchy with her… Buffy shies away from her touch, and the rest of the Scoobies note how chilly the atmosphere suddenly became.

All that is to say that while Angel plays a prominent role in how this episode unfolds, and the parallel raised between him and Faith aren’t just serving the theme of Buffy’s relationships with them, but both of their characters as well… The real conflict itself plays out between Buffy and Faith, with all of its subtextual and romantic undertones that the show is once again leaning into.

It’s a break-up. It’s Buffy and Faith breaking up. That’s what’s happening here.

Something that I was struggling with however, is pinpointing where Buffy or even Angel and Giles started suspecting that there was something else going on with Faith. When Faith goes to Angel first, I was still unsure on where he was coming from, so I kept looking for signs that he was already reading her intentions. In retrospect though, I assume that Angel’s reactions there were actually genuine, despite Faith laying it on all pretty thick.

On the other hand, she also appeared with bloody hands after killing sympathetic demon guy who tried to help against the Mayor. So that was probably a dead giveaway once Buffy and Angel started putting two and two together.

With Buffy herself, there’s a pretty great little detail that happens when she and Faith discover dead demon guy in his apartment. (Which I wish I noticed myself, but was pointed out to me by someone else.)

Faith reaches into the other room for the light switch, not even looking, and Buffy sees her doing it. She completely gives away herself and the fact that she was in this apartment before, and the show smartly doesn’t draw our attention to it.

So when Buffy afterwards comments about how the way the demon guy was killed was ‘somebody’s idea of a party’, I couldn’t help wondering if that was a pointed jab at Faith. To get a reaction out of her and confirm whether or not she was involved.

Still, I remained unsure as we actually get the scene between Buffy and Willow after this happens. It’s also implied that Buffy hasn’t actually talked to Angel about what she saw between him and Faith the other night at that point, so they haven’t yet had the chance to cook up their Faith reveal plan.

On the other hand, she’s talking to Willow here, and we find out later that Buffy, Angel and Giles were all keeping their suspicions and the plan a secret from the rest of the Scoobies. So she wouldn’t have told that Willow quite yet either way.

Willow also comments about Buffy being “on edge”, which once again points to her probably thinking about Faith going rogue already here.

I do believe that Buffy’s “Faith wouldn’t do that” line is genuine though, even in that case. Buffy still wants to believe in Faith, even if they’re preparing for the worst.

So when Angel and Faith show up in her room, part of her must be devastated as the confirmation of Faith’s betrayal sinks in. As well as just being on edge, knowing what’s coming.

And what’s coming is a whole lot of classic posturing and sexual innuendo from Faith’s part, as she’s tempting Buffy with making out with Angel in front of her just to spite her (we already established which of their betrayals sting for Buffy more…), and being very up-close and personal with a supposedly chained up Buffy.

There’s a lot more going on in this scene of course, with Faith somewhat sarcastically rambling about her horrible childhood, and Buffy delivering some pointed jabs about being better than Faith, or Faith only being able to turn Angel to her side with a magic. We once again see proof of just how low and fragile Faith’s self-esteem actually is, and how easy it is to hurt her, despite what she claims.

I guess Faith’s speech about how she constantly felt inferior to Buffy is especially worth repeating:

Faith: You know, I come to Sunnydale. I'm the Slayer. I do my job kicking ass better than anyone. What do I hear about everywhere I go? Buffy. So I slay, I behave, I do the good little girl routine. And who's everybody thank? Buffy. Buffy: It's not my fault. Faith: Everybody always asks, why can't you be more like Buffy? But did anyone ever ask if you could be more like me? Angel: I know I didn't. Faith: You get the Watcher. You get the mom. You get the little Scooby gang. What do I get? Jack squat. This is supposed to be my town!

It’s one of those lines, where you’re not exactly sure how much the character actually believes of what they’re saying. Faith putting on Buffy the fact that she was unable to connect especially rings false, when you think about just how hard Buffy worked to have that connection with Faith.

But there’s also no denying in that Faith feels like the world let her down. And that includes Buffy. Because despite Buffy’s best efforts, she could never take Faith’s side unconditionally. She could never be just like her.

Buffy doesn’t have the luxury of losing herself in someone else, or to choose them over her responsibilities. (Well, I guess we’ll have to re-examine that in a few seasons from now though…) She needed Faith to meet her halfway, but Faith was already too far gone to turn around for that.

But hey, at least Faith’s got a new apartment out of the deal as of last episode. Evil does take MasterCard I guess.

#buffy rewatch 2k19 #btvs talk #btvs

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