#not to say sophie was entirely right to set the fire

[keeperofthoselost]

one of the things that irks me in this fandom is when people get upset with Biana, Stina, Fitz, ect. for being wary of Sophie setting the warehouse on fire in Unlocked. people will be all like “i think sophie should burn down more buildings” or “the kids shouldn’t have gotten mad at sophie! she was finally doing something!” because that’s the whole point.

the elven kids were raised in a world that seemed like a utopia. violence and crime are practically unheard of. hell, fitz even says that he’s only seen like 2 tribunals in Keeper before Sophie came around. to them, it feels wrong. against everything they’ve ever been taught.

this is one of the main reasons for project Moonlark. the reason why the black swan even put Sophie with humans in the first place. to get a new perspective. Sophie understands that the risk needed to be taken. she was raised among a kind family in the human world, but she still grew up among humans, a species that elves deem “barbaric.” the black swan needed someone who could see and comprehend atrocities happening beyond the black and white scale. mr forkle even encourages sophie in her ways of thinking.

not to blame the elven kids or sophie, because both sides are valid. the kids are scared. it’s against everything they know, the regent society they grew up in. sophie is also right, as they can’t just sit and wait around for a win against the neverseen. they need to actually fight back.

[ccsainzleclerc5516]

Lovers

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader (y/n)

Warnings: smut!!, cheating

the background of the story: a few months ago you decided to visit your friend Sophie who lives in Monaco. Sophie has been in a relationship with Carlos for a while, and his teammate Charles is in a relationship with a girl (Ava) who isn't with him for the right reasons and doesn't really care about him. due to a combination of circumstances, you stayed in Monaco to live in Sophie's apartment and started running social networks for Ferrari, filming behind the scenes and similar things. From the very beginning, you and Charles have a love-hate relationship. He keeps sending you mixed signals and you never know where you're standing with him. A few weeks before you locked yourself out of the apartment, you shared a kiss that you couldn't stop thinking about…and neither could he.

Y/n's POV

After about half an hour of waiting in front of the locked door, the elevator opens and the eagerly awaited Charles steps out. Of course he had to be the one to come and 'save' me because who else would it be? Our relationship has not changed much in these months. Somehow I also accepted that that kiss happened once and that was it. After all he is taken so I forced myself to stop thinking about him entirely.

As he steps out of the elevator, at first he doesn't say anything but just smirks at me.

"Please, just don't say anything." I say as he comes in front of me pulling out the keys from the pocket of his jeans. He was looking as handsome as always wearing a simple white oversized t-shirt and light washed baggy jeans. No one could ever pull off rings, bracelets and sunglasses the way he does with his perfectly messy curls.

"Y/n." He says putting the key into the lock. "Wasn't going to." As the door finally opens I see smoke coming from the kitchen. My lasagna..

"No, no, no, no!" Horrified and worried, I start repeating, running towards the kitchen, begging God that I didn't set someone else's kitchen on fire and that only the lasagna was harmed.

"What is happening?" Charles runs after me.

"Oh thank God.." I breathe a sigh of relief when I see that nothing is burning in the kitchen except for my lasagna, which turned completely black.

"What exactly are you thanking God for?" He asked mockingly, watching me take the tray of unrecognizable lasagna out of the oven.

"I'm thanking Him for not accidentally setting this whole apartment on fire."

"You're a real danger Y/N." He laughs leaning over the counter. "Like in every possible way." And I join him. I feel like I'm in love with these so beautiful and yet so rare moments of laughter with Charles.

"Thank you for coming here with the keys. I really don't know how else I'd manage to enter the apartment since Sophie and Carlos are in Madrid."

"That lasagna would be a nice thank you for having to come here, but since you're such a great cook.." He mocks again, but I don't mind it.

"Oh stop it!" I wave my hand and open the fridge to see what's left in there. "Well, I don't have anything else left to offer you except beer?"

"I'll take it."

One beer for me, one for him, one for him, one for me, and then again one for him, one for me and so the hours went by without even realizing that it was already dark outside. We were sitting on the floor on the carpet in front of the couch. The TV was on, but we got into talking so much that no one paid attention to it.

"I still can't believe Carlos and Sophie are getting married." Charles says taking another sip from the bottle.

"I personally think it's a bit too fast 'cause they've been together for only like a year, but if they feel like that's it, then I'm all for it. He's head over heels for her."

"Yeah, I guess when you know you know."

"Besides, it's perfect timing since she's pregnant with him so-"

"What?!" At that moment I realize that my tongue works faster than my mind and I pour out Sophie's secret to Charles.

"Oh no no! Forget it please!" I don't know what was I trying to achieve with this? Maybe erase his memory?

"Sophie's pregnant? Carlos is going to be a dad?!" He asks unable to wrap his mind around the fact.

"Yes, yes they're having a baby, but please be quiet about it because literally no one knows but me. Carlos is just about to find out."

"Oh my God..I can't believe it." I notice that his face drops a bit. He doesn't seem all that excited about the rather exciting news. After all Carlos is his best friend. Or at least one of them.

"What?" I ask. "Aren't you excited for him?"

"I am, of course. But it just got me thinking how so much good things is happening to him - he's getting podiums, every weekend he gets better and better, he's getting married, now excepting a child and then I'm over here feeling like I'm fucking stuck in a place..I don't know." This is the first time that after 3 and a half months of knowing Charles he is showing his vulnerable side. He is finally opening up to me and we're finally having a meaningful conversation.

"Why are you feeling stuck in a place?"

"I don't know how to explain it. Nothing's pushing me forward, I feel empty. I feel like I'm waiting on something, but it's not coming." I'm trying to read between the lines what he is trying to tell with this, but unsuccessfully. "I'm fucking struggling."

"Charles.." I listen to him with a heavy heart and wish to hug him and wipe the sadness away. "I'm sorry that you feel this way. What about Ava? Shouldn't she be your motivation?"

"She should be my motivation." He says with a sneer. "Except that's not the case. I once wanted her to be the one to push me forward, but now I'm not even sure if I want it to be her. She's never fucking there and I got tired." I remember when Lando said that he's never talking about his relationship with them and yet here he is talking about it to me, almost a stranger to him, even though it's obviously painful for him to share his feelings.

"If the relationship no longer makes you happy and fulfilled, then why not put an end to it?" I honestly ask him dying to know his answer.

"It's not as simple as it seems. She's Ava Wolff." He says taking a look at my eyes. "And I would like to change the subject now."

"Okay." I decide not to push it. The time will come when he will say that too. "But, just so you know I like you tonight." I say trying to light up the mood and succeed when he chuckles.

"Really? Well I guess better late than never. But, just so you know I've liked you since the Monaco GP." He says and starts playing with the red bracelet I gave him that day for good luck remembering how devastated he was that day because he didn't perform well and his girlfriend wasn't even there at his home race.

I start to stir in place from his words trying to hide the fact that he made me blush. He notices it anyway and pulls himself closer to me.

"Why are you so nervous?" He asks calmly looking straight at me as I tried to look anywhere but his mesmerizing green eyes.

"I'm not." I say quite softly and uncertainly. He scoots even closer to me, so close that I can feel the warmth of his breath on the skin of m neck. He is facing me while I am facing the TV. My heart is beating so harsh I can feel it pounding against my rib cage.

"Y/n.."

"Hm?"

"I've been trying really hard to forget about it," He says, referring to the kiss we shared, as he moves a strand of my hair behind my ear and keeps his palm on my cheek. "I just can't seem to." Before I can even think of anything to say, our eyelids slightly start closing and our lips meet.

At that moment everything becomes less important, neither of us breaks the kiss, we decide to save the "this is wrong" and "we shouldn't, we have to stop" for later.

He kissed me so delicately, his lips softly brushed mine. He was so careful caressing my cheek with his thumb and the kiss was so tender leaving me wanting more.

"Charles.." I breathe out whispering.

"Don't overthink this, please. I'm dying to kiss you over and over again." His words were enough to erase any doubt in me whether I wanted this or not. They got me hooked eagerly wanting more of whatever this was. Once the kiss turned from gentle to passionate, then firmer and more determined, I knew I desperately needed him in every way that there is.

"I want you." I was trying to refrain from moaning since he hasn't even touched me properly yet and I was already a mess.

"You have me so easily. Come here." He pulls me into his lap so I straddle him without breaking the kiss. I worked my mouth against his while his hands were roaming my body under my oversized t-shirt. Once he reached the bra clasp he stopped for a second to take a look at my eyes asking for permission to remove it.

"Take it off." I whisper and seconds later the bra was thrown to the side. With one hand he cupped my breast and with the other he pulled me down making me grind on his stiffened crotch. He threw his head back groaning as I pressed myself against him.

"Fuck, take these off." He says tugging at the hem of my shorts. I obediently do as he orders, taking my t-shirt off along the way and in a matter of seconds I'm sitting in his lap only in my panties completely revealing myself to him. He takes a second to admire my naked body with hungry eyes and slightly parted lips eyeing me up and down.

"You're so beautiful, fuck." My heart flutters at his sweet comment even though I didn't want him to be sweet-talking to me. I wanted him to tell me how much he wanted me, what he would do to me, and how he wanted to have me.

His hand found its way to my panties rubbing me over them feeling the now already damp lace fabric. "You're soaking, is this for me? Have I made you feel this wet?" He wasn't even trying to hide the smug on his face. I gasp at his words and his touch, but he wanted to hear me. "Answer me."

"It's all for you." He pulls my panties aside and starts rubbing small and slow torturous circles on my clit.

"This isn't the first time that you're wet for me now is it?" He murmurs against my lips and I gulp panting. "I know it isn't. I know you've been thinking about me." He glides his fingers over my wet folds up and down before he slips his middle finger inside me. I wince at the the coldness of his finger, but soon start moving my hips against his hand.

"Look at you.. So hot, so eager for me. I've been getting hard thinking about you and your innocent lips wrapped around me even though they're anything but innocent." He slips another finger inside me and I almost finish right away at the profanities that he's telling against my skin. I start to unbutton his pants while he takes of his shirt. He lifts himself up on the couch and I stay down on my knees between his legs. I pull his boxers down his legs revealing the long shaft that sprung off his hitting his lower stomach. I decided to tease him a little and start working my tongue everywhere but the tip where he needed me the most. Once again he throws his head back in pleasure desperate for my touch around him and I enjoy every second of listening him moaning my name. I lick his balls and gently dig my nails into the skin of his thighs. He tries to grab himself, but I stop his hand and put it back on the side.

"Wrap your lips around me, you're driving me insane." I smirk as I see him on almost begging for me. It doesn't take long until I do ad he pleases taking his shaft and giving it a few strokes before I start bobbing my head up and down paying special attention to his aching red tip.

"You're taking it so well for me, so fucking beautiful." His words are prompting while he's moving hair out of my face and collecting it into a ponytail so he can lead my head. I continue doing what I was fastening my pace until he stops me taking my chin between his fingers.

"I don't wanna cum like this and if you continue I sure fucking will. I need to feel you around me. Do you want me to fuck you, hm?"

"Yes, Charles fuck I do." I pant as the aching feeling between my legs rises. He pulls me up by my elbows and I straddle him again as he pulls me again for another long kiss his tongue fiercely wrestling mine. He takes his shaft into his hand prepping it a bit before positioning it on my center. I don't wait for him to pull me down on him, I do it myself rolling my hips against him at first slowly so I can adjust to his length and enjoy every second of the feeling of him inside of me.

"Yes baby ride me, you're so good for me. You do it so good." Butterflies errupt in my stomach at him calling me baby. His thumb brushes over my lower lip and I hold onto his hand. His other hand slides down to rub circles on my clit again and I feel my legs starting to shake.

"Oh Charles, Charles.." I cry out his name clenching around him.

"Eyes on me." He lifts up my chin making me look him in the eyes while I come undone around him and he starts working his hips upwards wanting to prolong my climax. I try to squirm away as the excessive feeling of pleasure overwhelms me and sensitivity takes over. Charles stops me by tightly wrapping his strong arms around me hugging me and hiding his face in the crook of my neck leaving trail of small gentle kisses.

"That's it. You're doing so well for me. Can you keep going?" I nod my head yes and he's quick to turn me over and lay me down onto the couch. He pulls himself out of me and presses himself against my stomach his lips never leaving my neck. I tug on his hair with one hand and with the other slide my nails down his back.

"Kiss me." I plead and he does so. He teases me with his tip going over my now too sensitive and wet folds.

"Will you be able to cum for me one more time?"

"I don't know.." I whisper with a trembling voice. "But I don't wanna stop." That's all it takes for him to push himself deep inside me tiredlessly working his hips in and out of me.

"You're so fucking tight." He attaches his lips to my hard nipples flicking his tongue arounf them and nibbling on them making me whine out his name.

"Charles..oh yes."

"So fucking hot hearing you moan my name." He says. "Fuck, what you do to me..Touch yourself for me."

I slide my hand between us down to my clit making quick circular movements and the sight of me touching myself drives him completely crazy it has him rolling his eyes and panting.

"Fuck, baby I'm close, I'm gonna cum." He starts moving his hips faster hitting my walls making me clench myself around him and screaming out his name as I finish one more time. Seconds later he pulls out stroking himself at fast pace and cumming all over my stomach.

Barely catching his breath he gives me a peck on the lips before falling onto me and I close my eyes playing with his locks.

Leaving Charles on the couch, I get up and head towards the bathroom. I slide down my now completely soaked panties and step inside the shower. As the lukewarm water hits my skin, I let out a deep breath and close my eyes letting myself go through all the emotions that have accumulated in me in the last few hours.

Guilt washes over me because I don't feel guilty and because I know I'd do this all over again with him. I have never before experienced something so passionate, sensual, exciting and satisfying, something that left me wanting more of him. I find myself smiling thinking about him and what we just did, but even though i don't want to let myself expect anything, I forgive myself this time because i'm still under the impression of him tightly gripping my body, kissing me all over my neck and calling me 'baby'.

I hear the sound of the shower door opening and soon Charles' hands are resting on my waist and his lips are pressing against my shoulder. I smile tilting my head to the side.

"You're washing me off yourself already?"

"I was hoping you'd come." I turn to face him wrapping my arms around his neck. He leans in to kiss me only this time slowly and gently. "Can I ask you something?" I ask and he nods. "Are you drunk?" He chuckles at my somewhat funny question. It was clear to me that he couldn't get drunk from 3 cans of beer, I just wanted to check how aware he was of our actions. I wanted to get out of him how he felt about this, I wanted him to tell me something, even though at the same time I was afraid of what I would hear. I didn't want anything to ruin these moments, even though I was very curious and impatient.

"Drunk off of you only." I blush leaning my head into the crook of his neck, but he sensed what I was getting at. "Let's not think about anything and enjoy the moment, okay?" He presses a kiss to my forehead and I feel relieved although on the verge of overthinking this.

"Are you tired?" He asks quietly against the skin of my neck.

"A little bit." I gasp letting my eyes close. "Why?" Just as I asked the question, I felt him slowly pressing himself against me.

"Because I can't get enough of you." His tonuge slides over my bottom lip asking for permission and I let him in without any hesitation. "I want to hear you moan my name again." He says into my ear abruptly turning me around and pressing me against the shower wall. He pushes himself inside of me and starts thrusting in and out again further and further.

"Charles.." The slapping of our wet skin echoed throughout the bathroom.

"How are you so tight, fuck.." His pace picked up and I could feel both of us were close. "I'm close baby, I'm not gonna last long."

My back was arched and I held onto the glass with my palms. Soon my legs started shaking and his hips stuttering against me as we both finished at the same time. The moans filled the small space inside the shower as we were coming down from our highs. I was so weak, the strength in my legs long gone I would've fallen down if he hadn't held me.

"Are you okay? Talk to me." He asks gently caressing my cheek.

"I am." I smile assuring him with a kiss. "Let's take a shower and go to bed okay?"

"Okay."

After we showered and dried off with towels, we went to my room and got into bed. Neither of us said anything, he just pulled me close and held me tight around the waist as if I was going to run away any second. There wasn't even any need to say anything. Being in his arms, feeling his breathing on my skin felt so safe, so intimate that I wished this would never end.

[bookwyrminspiration]

What if Sophie just. Snapped? Not, break, but snap. We kind of got that in Unlocked, and that's why I think I liked it so much, but what if, in the middle of a battle, someone gets hurt or dies or something, and she just loses it. But it's not even yelling or screaming. She goes quiet and simply inflicts, or uses telekinesis, or teleports them away, but it's terrifying. She says something that scares the crap out of everyone that can hear her.

yes! I love this so much! Those characters who are always like "no I can handle more" and take on more and more emotionally until they reach a point where there is nothing more they can bear and they're strung tight as a wire and something sets them over the edge and they are, within an instant, no longer the same person.

There's generally two avenues for that--breaking or snapping. Breaking where they just collapse in on themself and something irreparable has been broken and now they fall further and further away from who they were while all they can do is watch themself crumble.

And then there's snapping. Breaking destroys themself, but when someone snaps it explodes outwards instead, a sort of pain an fury inflicted onto those around them in a desperate attempt to save themselves from what they've done to themselves. And then within this section there's both explosive and quiet snapping, both excellent when used correctly. It usually depends on how the character was beforehand, as the point of snapping is that they are no longer the same person, so they go the opposite of who they used to be. For quiet characters, it's getting loud and aggressive and screaming.

And then there's Sophie, someone who has been motivated and outspoken and fighting and taking hits and burdens this entire series. She's been negotiating and trying to stick to her morals and to do the right thing. For her to snap...

She'd be quiet and dangerous. There's no more determination, just grit. She will win, and she will do whatever it takes. There's no more hesitation, not trying to make everyone happy. She is fed up and she is a ticking time bomb and she is terrifying because no one can tell how she'll explode.

Your example of the middle of a battle is just a classic one and I love it. They've been fighting the Neverseen and loosing for so long that this desperation and hysteria just keeps building and building and everything is getting worse and nothing is working and she's trying to stay positive, to be a good moonlark, to make her family and friends proud.

And then someone gets hurt. again. it always happens. her efforts are fruitless each and every time. she has been trying so hard to make everything work and it just gets through in her face. And that's her limit. That is enough and she is done. She id done trying; she is going to succeed

Everything goes quiet inside her mind as her focus narrows, and all she can think of is how she's so tired of this. How she hates everything about this. There's no dramatics, there's no screaming, no levitating, no extravagant charge, just calm and deadly precision. Her power mounts and she directs it out of her body. The goblin throwing starts in her hand meet their target each and every time as she stands there expressionless. The fire surrounding her doesn't scare her when her friends are bleeding around her, because there are people up ahead she wants to hurt so she's going to.

I think it would have such an impact if all of this happened silently, if there was no warning and the Neverseen had to learn quick that something had changed and they needed to do something now or there wouldn't be a later for them.

And then maybe at the end she says one thing, and that's what scares everyone. I think it'd be interesting if she only spoke after she'd finished the battle, finished exacting everything she wanted to do. And as she walks away, her friends staring horrified and confused behind her, she pauses for a moment and delivers that line. Something like "Winning is so much more fun." or "Was that different enough for you?" Less to intimidate the Neverseen but more of an insight for her friends that something is wrong and off and that she's not the same Sophie they knew before the fight began. Something snapped inside her and they don't know if it can be fixed.

Characters snapping is something that can be so personal...anyways nonsie I think you're absolutely right and that Sophie should snap in the next few books. That's what was fun about Unlocked!! It was different, it was progress, it really changed the story. I would like more of that please and thanks <33

[imherongraystairstrash]

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, do you think Charles,Barbara, Eugenia and Anna were close? Anna maybe less because she’s closer in age to the merry thieves set and she probably ghosted Charles after the Ariadne engagement. Would you consider a fic of them all growing up, starting with them 4 as little kids and then slowly becoming teens and adults and then dealing with Barbara’s death. I think it would be a fun idea since nobody ever considers them to be a older merry thieves.

You can thank my social anxiety for this one bc I stress wrote it in school 🙃

TW: panic attacks, death

Title: When we were young

Characters: Barbara Lightwood, Anna Lightwood, Eugenia Lightwood, Cecily Lightwood, Gabriel Lightwood, Alexander Lightwood, Sophie Lightwood, Gideon Lightwood

Anna was sitting by the fire when Charles came into the room. She hated him. She truly did. But, somehow, at that moment, she felt strange. He looked at her and it took her many years back, to when they weren’t exactly friends, but  they were far from what they are now to each other.

…

“And that was how Consul Wentworth fixed the crisis of 1687.” Charles said with a satisfied smile to himself.

The Lightwood girls were his audience. Well, sort of. Eugenia’s cheek was resting on her fist, squishing the right side of her face as her lidded eyes approached shutting completely. Anna was slumped against Eugenia, her lips pressed together tightly and her eyes opened wide, staring at a fixed spot on the floor. Their luminous dark blue glittered in the witchlight, looking exquisitely uncanny. Barbara was mid-yawn, leaning on the leg of a sofa.

“Wow, Charles. Thanks for the history lesson.” Eugenia said, monotonously. It was evident that she’d inherited her mother’s sass from the day she was born, when Barbara had woken her up by exclaiming at the sight of her newborn sister, and Genie responded by pulling her sister’s hair.

“Oh, and in 1690-“

“NO!” All three Lightwood daughters shrieked.

“I’m still not done, though.” Said Charles.

“Yes, you are.” Eugenia said, standing up and settling the matter. “We are positively bored. There is absolutely nothing to do except listen to Charles talk about politics, and if those are the only two options, frankly, I’d rather be bored.” 

Charles crossed his arms. “Being an intellect is not boring.”

Little two year old Anna looked at him with one eyebrow raised. 

“I swear, Thomas is having a better time than we are,” Eugenia said glaring at to where their parents were, with the tiny, almost invisible baby nestled in Gideon’s arms, his fingers wrapped around Sophie's thumb. The parents were all laughing about something, which made Eugenia scowl even more. 

“To be an adult.” Barbara said, with a martyred sigh. 

“We needn’t be adults to have fun.” Charles said.

“I suppose you’re going to torture us with more political trivia.” 

“No,” Charles said. “I was going to suggest we go through the attic.” 

The girls looked up at this and Charles smirked, clearly proud of himself at having come up with a good idea. For once. 

“What is in the attic?” 

Charles shrugged. “I don’t know, but there’s probably strange and obscure things. There’s a lot of that kind of stuff in our house.” 

Barbara and Eugenia exchanged a look before the eldest Lightwood sister turned to him. 

“We shall go and discover this mysterious attic you speak of.”

…

“What could this even be?” Barbara said, holding up a loose gear-like contraption. 

“Papa sometimes builds things out of clockwork.” Charles said, sitting cross legged. “Or, he used to at least.” 

 “That’s…” 

Genie and Charles looked at Barbara as she trailed off.

“Nevermind, I have no comment.”

Charles nodded as though that was a common reaction people had in terms of his father’s experiments. 

They rummaged through boxes upon boxes, finding momentos they didn’t understand such as papers upon papers of things that said many difficult words. They could distinguish a couple of words such as “infernal” and “devices”, however there were many that made no sense to them.

“What is a Mortmain?” Asked Genie.

“I think it’s an undead horse or something along those lines,” said Charles.

“Oh,” said Eugenia. “That’s disgusting.”

“Quite,” agreed Barbara.

Anna was toddling around the room, giggling. She almost tripped over a loose floorboard, and would have, had Charles not reached out and grabbed a hold of the back of her dress. 

“This is too dangerous for a small child like Anna,” Barbara said, ever the mother-goose. “I shall take her downstairs before she hurts herself.” 

Anna protested at first, but acquiesced once Barbara bribed her with the promise of dessert.

…

“What are you doing here?” Anna asked.

He looked up, his green eyes meeting her blue ones. 

…

Charles remembered that day like it was just yesterday. 

He and Eugenia had stayed behind rifling through boxes, which wasn’t unwelcome, as Eugenia and Charles had an easy, lighthearted and, at times, profound, friendship. Despite their age gap, they enjoyed each other’s company, though neither could say why. Perhaps, it was simply because they mocked each other. Or perhaps, it was sometimes they would occasionally talk about things such as philosophy, and whether what they were seeing was true, or the world was just a figment of their imaginations. Or a mixture of the two; they’d never really discussed it. 

Eugenia surprised him when she said, “do you ever feel… different from your parents?” 

Charles furrowed his brows, “in what aspect?”

“Love.” 

“Have you a suitor?” Charles inquired, intrigued.

“No. Actually, that was my question. I find that, sometimes, I don’t only enjoy the idea of a male suitor, but perhaps, I also enjoy the company of a woman. Perhaps.” She pressed her lips together tightly, as if forcing herself to stop speaking.

Charles looked at her, his bright green eyes wide. “I-um-…”

“But I’m not sure, of course.” Eugenia blurted out. “It’s not as if shadowhunters are precisely fond of that particular preference or-“

“Do you really think they wouldn’t like it?” Charles asked, softly. “Do you believe they will reject those who are like that?” 

Eugenia looked down. “I’m afraid I’m most sure of it.”

Charles had then realized that he couldn’t have both. There was no way around it. 

He knew his parents were happy and that love made them complete. However, they didn’t have to choose. They could be married and the idea wouldn’t affect their respective occupations. Charles, on the other hand, couldn’t be Consul and have the kind of love he wanted. He almost resented them because of it. They were able to do what they loved and nobody forced them to pick between one or the other. 

It was unfair. So incredibly unfair.

“I guess you better get rid of your feelings towards women than.” He said simply, “unless you’re willing to let something as simple as love get in the way of your dreams.”

“Dreams?” Eugenia asked, looking confused and a tiny bit hurt. 

 But Charles got up to go back downstairs to his parents, aunts and uncles.

… 

Charles slumped down in a chair and dug his fingers into his hair.

“She was just here.” He said quietly. “Babs, was just here.”

Anna felt sudden rage. “You are not allowed to mourn her.” 

Charles looked up. “Just because you don’t like me doesn’t mean I can’t be sad. She was my cousin too. Perhaps not by blood, but she was still a cousin.” He pressed his lips together angrily and stared fixedly at the witchlight stone that was illuminating the room. 

Anna, however, couldn’t find it in her to be diplomatic; she got up and left the room. 

…

Anna had never seen Eugenia look this way. She was always put together, posh. But now, she looked hollow. Like a shell of who she used to be. Anna wanted to go up to her, to say something, but she felt lost for words. What did you tell someone who lost a dear sister? If Anna felt sorrow, she couldn’t imagine what Eugenia was feeling. 

Her head was tilted upwards, looking up at the pyre where the corpse of her sister lay. Tears were streaming down her face, rolling down her cheeks, throat and chest, leaving streaks on her face that looked like the roots of a tree.

Sophie had her arm around her daughter. The sight of the four of them was very strange. There was a gap missing where Barbara should have been. She suddenly felt a hand take hold of her own. She looked to her right and saw her mother looking straight ahead, squeezing her daughter’s hand. Her father was looking down, holding Alex. Her baby brother was one of the few who looked up at the cousin who’d taught him to play simple songs on the piano, and had always let him sleep in her arms on New Year's eve.  

She didn’t know what he must have been thinking now, staring up at the pyre. 

Though, to be fair, she didn’t quite know what to think herself, as she looked up at the cousin who’s life was cut far too short.

…

Eugenia’s body didn’t feel like her own. She hadn’t felt this body was her own for a while. Even since Augustus and the secret she’d kept to herself.

This was somehow worse. To be torn away from your best friend, whom you’d shared a room with almost your entire life. Eugenia didn’t know how to live in a world without Barbara. Sometimes, in the rare moments when she forgot about her sadness, she’d call her sister’s name, ready to tell her about what had happened in her novel. Or find herself walking to Barbara’s room without thinking and then staring blankly at the door that has remained shut ever since the day she passed away.

A couple of weeks ago, she’d found a letter Barbara had sent her when she’d been in Idris. It was in between her copy of Jane Eyre. She couldn’t bring herself to read it in its entirety, but she stared at the signature blankly. 

Suddenly, she got the urge to run. So she ran. That’s how, an hour later, she’d gotten a small tattoo under her ankle that said “Sincerely, your favorite sister Babs.” 

It felt right to have Bab’s signature there, we’re only she could see. It made her feel accompanied everywhere she went, even though nobody else could see. 

Now, looking up at the pyre, her face tight from tears she’d left to dry, her mother weeping silently, she could almost imagine that her sister was there, simply caught in a slumber and that she’d wake up at any moment and come tumbling down, throwing herself in Eugenia’s arms.

Any moment now, she thought when the pyre burst into flames. 

“Ave atque vale, Barbara Lightwood.” The crowd said at once.

Eugenia shook her head and swayed on her feet. Her breathing became heavy and her fingers began prickling. Suddenly, she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t move. No nononono. 

She felt a hand on her shoulder, vaguely that it was her father’s. 

Not Barbara.

Not Babs.

“Calm down, Genie.”

Not her sister. Her sister couldn’t possibly be up there.

“Breathe Eugenia.”

She wanted to scream that she couldn’t, that she’d never breathe again, as long as her sister wasn’t breathing with her. Why did she have to live? She would have much preferred that Barbara live in her stead. 

The world was numb and fractured, never to be fixed again. 

…

(Don’t worry, Gideon was able to help Genie after the fic ends bc he’s the best dad)

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[irisviel101]

Madoka | MFB's Most Unique Character

Madoka is a character that is the most unique in the entire cast of MFB — and that's a lot of people. In a franchise where the majority of the cast, if not all of it, are bladers, Madoka manages to stay relevant despite not ever actually battling except for one instance — and that was barely a battle and had a completely separate motive. While MFB has shown several female characters, only Madoka manages to stay throughout the whole series despite being the only character who has a separate focus and skill set.

The first season had both Madoka and Hikaru as the prominent female characters, but the second and third had only Madoka — not counting side characters like Mei-Mei and Sophie. Now, it's true that Madoka lacked conflict the way the others didn't — like Gingka with, well, too many things to list right now; Masamune with his overconfidence, then his conflict with Zeo and the whole thing with Faust; Tsubasa with the Dark Power; Kyoya with his multiple character flaws like his excessive self-reliance; Kenya and his three season development; and even Benkei with his attempts to become Kyoya's equal and to be acknowledged by him.

Despite this though, Madoka brings something fresh to the cast. With her analytical prowess and technical and mechanical skills, Madoka manages to contribute just as much, if not more, to the conflicts. While most of the characters can be judged in terms of "usefulness" — as abhorrent such a comparison is — by their blading skills, Madoka can be easily overshadowed by strong characters like Gingka, Kyoya, Kenta, Ryuuga etc. But Madoka is just as strong a character as them. In terms of plot, most strong bladers can be easily replaced by each other — the battles would be different but the ultimate outcome would be the same. For example, in the Damian vs Kyoya battle, Kyoya could be easily replaced by, say, Yuu and he would still have won. In Ryuuga vs Jack, Tsubasa or Yuu could have battled in Ryuuga's place and still won (as it should have been, but that's another rant for another day). These battles would undoubtedly be different, but the ultimate outcome would be the same. If Kyoya had joined Gan Gan Galaxy, a lot of the conflict would have to be removed, but they would still have won the tournament.

Madoka, however, is the one character who cannot be replaced by any other. Madoka is the only one who is expert at fixing beys, hacking and a lot of other stuff like figuring out what is going on. In order to remain relevant, Madoka doesn't need to be a blader at all. The same cannot be said for other characters like Hyoma, Zeo, Toby, Benkei and others who had nice moments even later but were ultimately shafted once the opponents became stronger.

(Come to think of it, MFB hasn't had a permanent female bladers until Ren in Shogun Steel, but Ren's character and Shogun Steel's flaws are something I will touch on in another post.)

Right from Madoka's debut, she is established as a kind, confident, caring and competent character and this is only reinforced throughout the series.

We see Madoka basically run a shop on her own — her father is mentioned once but is never actually shown — and she is so good at what she does that she is the one most of the bladers turn to for help, which the other characters acknowledge as well.

She is passionate about beys like all the others, except Madoka's focus is not on the battles but on the beys. She gets so fired up about it that she spends an entire night on Pegasus — the day she meets Gingka, mind you,

gets so mad at Tetsuya's treatment of other people's beys that she abandons her workshop to find him and set him straight (Tetsuya's episode is very good at showcasing this side of her),

fixes Benkei's bey even though they're barely friends at this point,

fixed Kyoya's bey despite everything he did before,

volunteers in the Survival Battle as a mechanic,

launches a bey for the only time in the entire series to save Leone, and much, much more.

(Can we just appreciate that Madoka broke through King Lion Tearing Blast which even Yuu said was tricky right after breaking through the Lion Gale Force Wall?)

Honestly, this isn't even half of the first season and not even all the moments in that, but if I listed everything Madoka has contributed, I'd never be able to publish this post. This trend continues in Metal Masters and Metal Fury.

All in all, Madoka is MFB's most unique character in terms of skill set and of how she was handled by the writers. She could have had more development but she's also great just the way she is., especially under that pressure.

(Actually, I'm not sure if she actually managed to hack into the HD Academy — if she didn't, well, it's realistic 'cause hacking's hard — but she did find the location where they needed to go in both the cases).

Madoka is also the one to usually figure out what is going on, like she does with L-Drago's reverse rotation (despite that being practically unheard of at this point), Alexi's tampering with the stadium to make Yuu unable to use his special move, the truth behind Julian's "Eyes of Medusa", the truth behind Julian's "Eyes of Medusa", and she even figures out how Nemesis gained its power using the Spiral Force as a reference.

Madoka does all this with very few clues, if any at all. With such a diverse skill set, being a blader would add very little to her character. If Madoka were a blader, she would just become one of the many in the series, and MFB already has the problem of being unable to keep a majority of the cast relevant — I mean, Kenta, Benkei and Kyoya were side characters in the second season despite having some nice moments, Tsubasa had a very small role in the third season after being one of the main characters in the second, Yuu had very bad luck in the second season despite being a main character (I'll touch on that in another post) before being basically shafted in the third, Hikaru could have had a nice character arc about trauma but became ultimately irrelevant especially in the third season, and Hyoma barely appeared beyond the first season, and all of them were major characters in the first season.

Madoka has a really diverse skill set and has some major contributions in the series, along with being a fairly well-rounded character. Even in the first season (only using the first half because the series is long), we can see that she's kind — her refusal to leave a damaged beyond unrepaired, her tendency to help people she has no reason to (like Kyoya in episode 11), creating a meta Face Bolt for Kenta for his battle with Hikaru despite not knowing what is going on, willing to forgive Tetsuya even though he is the embodiment of everything she hates and even kidnapped her, and we're still in early season one — brave — willingly helping out in every major conflict despite having no reason to, not leaving a freaking nuclear reactor about to explode so she can do everything she can to help, going along in the final battle with Nemesis even though she's seen the threat in the first battle and knows that it could be a world ending crisis, facing characters like Doji and Ziggurat without any fear etc. — stubborn — there are so many instances where she refuses to back down despite everyone telling her to (I can't quote one now, but still) — short-tempered — one of her most apparent traits, like when she disbands Gan Gan Galaxy for fighting — patient — seriously, she manages to stay on Gan Gan Galaxy, probably the most chaotic team in the tournament, with only one major outburst, and deals with so many world ending crises without faltering — and so much more but this is long enough.

So now we have established that Madoka is a character who has a great, well-rounded personality, a great skill set and enough nice screen time to show everything she has to offer. She, along with everyone else, goes through a really hard time but Madoka manages to not break no matter how high the stakes get, and for all the things she has to deal with — from outside and sometimes, unintentionally, from her friends — Madoka manages to have a lot of patience and is really collected most of the time. Most people would cave under such pressure.

What Madoka's character could have benefitted from, I believe, is some more key moments. She does really well with the moments she gets, but she could have had a more personal conflict or a broader character arc.

But that's a problem with a lot of the characters, with even some of the major characters like Benkei, Tithi and Chris (who were introduced too late and could have benefitted from an earlier debut), Yuu, Tsubasa and some others I can't really remember from the top of my head. In fact, Madoka fares better than them, even Benkei, in terms of development since most of their screen time is taken up by either gags, developing other characters (Kyoya and Benkei being the worst offenders out of the listed ones because even though they have some nice moments, most of the time is spent focusing on gags and Kyoya's development), or establishing these characters instead of simply developing them. Madoka doesn't really have this problem even after Yuki's introduction, who is another very smart and analytical character.

All in all, Madoka is MFB's most unique character in terms of skill set and of how she was handled by the writers. She could have had more development but she's also great just the way she is.

-----

Finally, the Madoka appreciation post I had planned aged ago. Also, 10 images per post? Since when is that a rule?

Anyway, feel free to add something or to disagree or whatever. I appreciate all kinds of feedback.

Also, Tumblr is making formatting really hard. Is that a problem for anyone else?

[writeyouin]

Heyy Sophie! Do you mind doing a fun lil drabble about sweet Riptide having an approximate knowledge on Valentine's customs from what he's heard from Swerves and asks out the reader anyways 😌💖 Thanks a lot! Hope you're doing well~~

Riptide X Reader – New to This

A/N – I had so much fun looking up all these Valentine’s traditions from around the world. Whales officially celebrates it the best, funky little weirdos. Hope you enjoy it Millie.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

Riptide’s head swivelled from one bot to another, as he tried as hard as he could to keep up with the conversation. Various bots were in one of the rec-rooms, discussing the human holiday, Valentine’s Day, and it had sparked quite the argument. It seemed that everybody had their own version of the holiday, and nobody was willing to believe that they might be wrong.

Swerve slammed his fist onto the table, “We all know I’m the closest thing to an expert here. If I say it’s flowers and chocolates, it’s flowers and chocolates.”

Getaway rolled his eyes, “Big whoop, so you’ve seen a few TV shows that are super outdated. Not everything that happens on TV is real, Swerve. Besides, I happened to do a bit of searching, and you’re wrong. It’s all about some mushy card with a poem in it or something.”

“No, wait. That can’t be right,” Nautica interjected calmly. “Swerve was kind of right on the flowers, but it’s not a bouquet, it’s just one flower. I think it was called a Snowdrop and you press it flat or something.”

“TEN!” Ten roared, throwing a carved wooden spoon onto the table before everyone, as if proclaiming that was the right gift. As usual, everyone ignored his admission, unable to take the spoon seriously.

“No, no, no,” Rodimus huffed, shaking his helm exasperatedly. “It’s all about the music. Picture this, I’m standing on a huge amp, electric guitar in hand. I sing a rocking ballad, the guitar sets on fire, I’m playing it so fast and then (Y/N) swoons and I-”

“WHO THE FRAG SAID ANYTHING ABOUT (Y/N)?!” Whirl roared jealously, even though everyone knew that the entire conversation on Valentine’s day was a covert way of brainstorming ways of asking you out.

“COME OFF IT!” Rodimus said, his engines revving in frustration. “YOU ALL KNOW THIS STARTED COS I’M GOING TO ASK (Y/N) OUT TONIGHT.”

Rodimus made to get up, but Whirl stuck out his leg, making the Captain trip.

“That does it,” Rodimus growled, preparing to brawl with Whirl.

Riptide didn’t linger to see the end result, his mind already wandering as he meandered out into the hallway. He kept to himself whilst walking about the ship. Was that conversation really about asking you out? He’d thought it was about weird human stuff. Was everyone there to court you? If so, did Riptide have that same obligation?

He’d never really considered dating you before, but he was thinking about it now. He supposed it would be kind of nice to be with you. You were funny and cute, and you never belittled him when he didn’t understand something. Maybe Riptide wasn’t strong, fast, or smart like the other bots, but he did have a spark, and it always hummed faster when you were near.

“Maybe,” He whispered, talking to himself.

“Maybe what?”

Riptide turned around to find you, smiling sweetly at him. He opened his mouth, but paused to frown, having lost whatever train of thought he was travelling; it was something that happened often.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you. It just looked like you were thinking hard about something and I thought you might like to bounce your ideas of someone.”

“Oh,” Riptide nodded agreeably, before frowning again.

“Something wrong?”

“I don’t have a wooden spoon,” He admitted sadly.

“Sorry, what?”

“A wooden spoon. I don’t have one. I don’t have a poem, or a guitar that sets on fire, or sweets, or crushed plants, and on top of all that, I don’t even have a wooden spoon.”

“O…Kay? And this is a problem for you?”

“Yes. I can’t be a Valentine without one of those things. You should really talk to Ten, he has a wooden spoon. It’s very nice.”

“Do you… Do you want me to get you a wooden spoon?” You asked, thinking that someone must have played another mean trick on Riptide to make him think about such things.

“No. I want to get you a wooden spoon, but I don’t have one. Me and the others were talking and that’s how to be a Valentine, I think… How can I be your Valentine, if I don’t even have a spoon?”

You covered your mouth with your hand to hide your smirk, trying desperately not to laugh at the ridiculousness of the scenario as everything fell into place.

“You ah, you don’t need any of that stuff,” You said, fighting a snicker.

“I don’t?”

“Nope. If you want to be my Valentine, all you have to do is ask, Riptide. And I would say yes.”

“You would?” Riptide’s frown turned into a hopeful grin.

“Yeah. I like you too.”

“Zowie,” Riptide exclaimed, having heard the word in an old Earth movie.

“Would you like to join me for a meal tonight at my place? We could make a night of it.”

Riptide nodded enthusiastically, “Sure would, Valentine. See you tonight.”

He ran off, hurrying to get his best energon for the evening; he was a Valentine, and it didn’t matter to you that he was new to it. This was going to be his best Valentine’s Day yet.

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[atlafan]

Office Neighbors - Part Eleven

a/n: another part where a lot happens, I think you all will be happy the little surprise at the end, enjoy! (reblogs and feedback are super helpful!) not proofread, sorry!

warnings: slight angst?, fluff, and smut

words: 13.8K

masterpost

Another school year down, you couldn’t believe it. Two entire years done, and only more until it’s your turn to walk across the stage. Now that it was getting nicer out, your new favorite to work was the back deck, especially when Harry would come out and bring you a glass of wine. It wasn’t lost on you how much he doted on you. If you got cold, he was right there with a blanket and your fuzzy socks, if you were hungry he was right there with a snack. There was plenty you did for him, or that you did equally, like laundry and cooking and cleaning, but it was hard not to notice the way her almost…babies you.

Now, most of the time, men were the ones that liked to be babied in relationships, and that’s not to say that Harry doesn’t. He loves when he gets to lay his head on your chest and you play with his hair, or when you scrub his head in the shower, or the mornings you get up before him and lay his clothes out for him. You both took care of each other in different ways, which was nice, but he was used to taking care of someone in a parental way.

Harry was extremely different at work, though. He didn’t want to give students or colleagues a reason to tease either of you, so despite his clingy nature, he wouldn’t be too kissy or huggy with you. He was thankful that the school year was over so he could love on you all he wanted.

He had his own work as well, he had his latest manuscript. He would try to work when you were working, but sometimes he got writer’s block, or inspiration would hit at an odd hour. You loved watching him work, and if it was the middle of the night with him working away, you’d crawl into his lap and tell him it was time for bed. To which he happily listened.

It was weird being home while Andy was still in school, but it left you with plenty of time to plan his party. This year his party would be at your house since it was at Paige’s last year. You wanted to make sure there were tons of yard games for all the kids to play, and also things for the adults to do. You and Andy started crafting a playlist together that Harry was not allowed to help with because “no one my age wants to listen to Fleetwood, get over it!” was an argument you were sick of listening to, plus it was nice to have something to do together.

“Okay, we’ve got horseshoes, badminton, water balloons, and corn-hole, that should plenty of things for people to do back here.” You say as you look around the yard. Andy and Harry were just getting the badminton net into place.

“We also have a volleyball in case they wanna play that instead.” Harry says. “And we’ve got all the snacks in the world to keep everyone happy until I get to grilling.”

“So is this less of a family party?” You ask him.

“Little bit, I mean, Lydia, Allie and Ned will be here, but that’s it for Paige’s side. There’s more friends coming this year, that’s for sure.”

“I’m getting the Bluetooth going so there’s music when people start to show up.” Andy says. “I’m really excited, Caroline’s sisters are coming, and they’re really nice.”

“Is her oldest still coming to the university in the fall?” You ask.

“Yup.” He smiles.

Andy and Caroline had remained…close oddly enough. Brandon was still with Molly, and Andy couldn’t quite figure out why. Although, it was giving him more time to sort out all of his feelings. He really didn’t want to be in a relationship just yet. He just wanted to have fun with his friends.  

“I hope they’re not bored here.” Harry runs a hand through his hair.

“The corn-hole should keep them occupied, babe, don’t worry.”

“What are their names again?” Harry asks.

“Emma is the oldest, then Sophie and Charlotte.”

“Right, the twins.”

“I’m gonna go put the sign on the door to let people know they can just come to the back.” You say.

“I’ll tie the balloons to the mailbox!” Andy says and Harry sighs as he watches him go inside.

“What’s wrong?” You ask Harry as you walk up the stairs to the deck.

“Nothing…he’s just…twelve.” He pouts at you and you pout back.

“Please don’t cry.”

“I’m not.” He huffs. “He’s getting too old, I’m over this whole growing up thing.”

“But look at what a nice young man he’s growing into!” You put your hand on his shoulder. “Try to celebrate instead of dwell.”

“What are we, at a funeral?” He smirks.

You roll your eyes at him and go inside. The house was spick and span, thank god. This summer you’d be tackling renovating the kitchen since Andy would be at Paige’s. You were excited to do this with Harry. The new cabinets and granite were all ordered. You both just needed to do all the demo yourselves and then the contractors could come to do the rest.

“Mum and Noah are here!” Andy yells from outside, and you and Harry go out front to greet them.

“I…I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but look at you, you’re twelve!” Paige blubbers and throws her arms around Andy.

“Mum, please.” He groans as he hugs her back.

“None of your friends are here yet, I get to do this now.” She kisses his cheek and lets him go. “Gram will be here soon with your aunt and uncle.”

“Happy birthday, Andy!” Rachel says brightly as she hops out of the car, giving him a hug.

All it took was for Paige and Harry to make eye contact and they both burst into tears. They side hug each other as they both look at Andy.

“He’s so grown up, and I swear he’s getting taller by the minute.” She says.

“It’s not fair, he was a baby just yesterday.”

“You two need to get a grip.” Andy says.

“Yeah.” Rachel agrees. “I’m getting second-hand embarrassment.”

The two giggle and start walking around back. You and Noah stand there awkwardly as Paige and Harry let each other go.

“Right, well, we, uh, brought some extra snacks, and all the gifts are in the trunk.” Noah says.

“I can help bring all that in.” You say. “What do you all typically do for Rachel’s birthdays?” You ask him as you lead him inside.

“Well, we usually go to Florida to visit with her grandparents. She loves it. Sort of a daddy-daughter thing.”

“Oh, that’s so nice!”

“Yeah, her birthday’s in October, so the weather is usually perfect.”

Friends and other family members start to show up. Andy was such a social butterfly. You could really tell that he was popular amongst his friend group. He was making everyone laugh. All of the yard games were a big hit, and Caroline’s older sisters even seemed to be having a good time. You were up on the deck sipping a drink when Harry came up from behind you to hug you.

“Having a good time, darling?” He says to you.

“Yes, thank you.” You chuckle. “Are you?”

“Mhm, I’m really glad the weather stayed so nice, I was nervous it would rain.” He kisses your cheek. “I’m gonna get the grill fired up.”

“Alright, do you want some help?”

“Maybe if you could just help me organize the food out here on the table? We could set it up buffet style.”

“On it.” You head inside as Harry turns the grill on.

Harry was feeling a lot of things today, his son was officially a preteen, and all sorts of things could start changing for him this summer. He could start to see pimples, or his voice may start getting lower, or pretty much anything else. Then there was you. Harry usually had to recruit another parent to help him with his parties for Andy, but he didn’t have to do that this time because he had you. You were on top of everything, and he was grateful. He was also just proud to show you off to so many people. For years everyone saw him as this single dad, but now they got to see him in a fully functioning relationship with a wonderful person.

“Okay, here’s all the burgers and dogs.”

“Y/N!” You whip your head and see your parents, Phil, and Julian.

“Oh good!” You say and head down the stairs of the deck to go greet them. “Did you get stuck in traffic?” You ask as you hug your family.

“Just a tad.” Phil says. “There was an accident on the other side, and you know how people love to rubber-neck.”

“Well, you’re here now, that’s all that matters. Feel free to go inside and freshen up, Harry’s just getting the grill started, but there are other snacks, and there’s drinks in the coolers.”

As you were talking Noah and Paige were playing a game of corn-hole with Ned and Allie.

“Oh, who’s that?” Noah points over to you.

“That must be her parents and brother, and his partner. How nice for them all to come!”

“Just don’t pounce on them Paige.” Allie tells her.

“What are you talking about? I’ll be friendly…”

“I’m not saying you won’t, just let her bring them over to introduce you, don’t go over to them first.”

You lead your family inside, after they all say hello to Harry. You wanted to give them a tour of the place you now called home. You explain your plans for the kitchen, and they all nod along.

“It’s a lovely home, honey.” Your mom says. “Very spacious, plenty of room to grow.”

“Yeah! The basement couch has a pull out in case we need to turn the guest room into a nursery at some point, and the loft could easily be converted into a bedroom too.”

“Slow down there, you just moved in.” You dad chuckles.

“I’m just saying, we’ve thought ahead.”

You lead everyone back outside, and down the stairs. Andy notices your family and smiles, he had no idea they were coming. He runs over to you.

“Andy, look who’s here.” You say to him.

“Hi!” He gives everyone a hug. “Thanks for coming to my party.”

“We wouldn’t miss it!” Your mom says. “You’re twelve today?”

“Yeah.” He smiles. “Would you like to meet my friends?”

“Sure.” Phil says.

Andy waves over Brandon and Caroline, and they both come jogging over.

“You guys, these are Y/N’s parents, um…”

“Rebecca and Richard.” Your dad says with a smile.

“Right, and this is her big brother Phil and his Julian.”

Phil and Julian smile at each other and say hello.

“These are my two best friends, Brandon and Caroline.”

Brandon felt bile in the back of his throat. Since when did Andy consider Caroline to be his other best friend?

“Hey, Andy, your friend Tyler…” Rachel had come over but she trails off.

“Rachel, these are my parents and my brothers.” You tell her.

“Hello!” She smiles brightly. “I’m Andy’s step-sister.”

“Well aren’t you just a precious little thing!” Your mom says.

“You’re Jewish like me, right?”

“Why yes we are.” Your dad says.

“When we went on our ski trip together, Y/N sat with me and helped with my alefbet.”

“She was pretty good at reading from the Torah as a kid.” Phil says. “I wasn’t so lucky.”

“You just never studied.” You tease him.

“Not all of us can be book worms, Y/N.” He sighs.

“My mum’s over there…” Andy points. “Do you all want to meet her?”

“That would be great.” Your dad says. You look back at Harry who was talking with Mr. Stewart as he grilled, and then you look over towards Paige.

“Yeah, let’s have everyone meet.” You say and lead them over. “Paige? I hate to interrupt the game…”

“Not at all!” She says with a smile. “Hello.” She says towards your family.

“These are my parents, Rebecca and Richard, my brother Phil, and his partner Julian.”

“It’s so nice to meet you all, I’m Andy’s mother, this is my fiancé, Noah, and my sister Allie and her husband Ned.”

Everyone shakes hands. The kids had run off to go play, so it was just the adults right now.

“We absolutely adore Andy.” Your mom tells Paige. “He’s a sweet boy.”

“Oh, thank you.” She smiles. “He raved about those paints you got him, he uses them all the time.” Out of the corner of her eye, Paige spots Lydia and waves her over. “This is my mother, Lydia. Mum, these are Y/N’s parents, and brothers.”

“Nice to meet all of you.” She smiles to the best of her ability and shakes their hands.

“Well, I need to go see what else Harry needs help with, so I’ll leave you grown-ups to chat.”

“We’ll help too.” Phil says. “I am a chef after all.” He tugs Julian along, full well knowing how nasty Lydia can be from what you’ve told them. Your parents could easily handle it. “She looks too nice to be a bitch.” Phil smirks.

“Trust me, she has her moments, although, she doesn’t make many comments too me anymore.” You smirk back.

All of the kids enjoy the freshly grilled food that they were ravenous for. After lunch was the balloon toss. Harry pairs up with Andy, just like last year, and you decide to participate with Phil.

“I swear, if you whip this thing at me…” He says as you’re still relatively close.

“Don’t be such a baby. It’s a trust exercise if anything.”

“Mhm, exactly.”

“I prank you with one whoopee cushion and-“

“You did that in front of my prom date!”

“Well, good thing you’re gay or else I’d be more concerned that I embarrassed you in front of her.”

Phil bursts out laughing as you continue to toss the balloon. He ends up dropping it at one point, which disqualifies you. Caroline and Rachel are out next, and then Tyler and Alexis. Brandon has paired up with his dad, and it was down to the four of them again. Mr. Stewart drops the balloon at the last second, which causes for Andy and Harry to be champs once again.

Once everyone settles a bit, it’s time for cake and gifts. Andy’s friends got him some good gift certificates and other little things.

“A new skateboard!” Andy beams. “Thanks, Noah.”

“You’re welcome, buddy.” Noah smiles proudly. Things were going really well recently between him and Andy. “That’s from my parents, they send their love.” Andy nods at him.  

Next up you had passed him the gift your family brought him. You had no idea what it could be.

“Holy shhhh-cow.” Andy corrects himself as he tears the wrapping paper open. “A home pottery kit?!”

“Y/N mentioned to us how much you enjoy the clay in your art classes, and we found this for kids.” Your mom explains. “Do you like it?”

“I love it! Thank you so much.”

Lydia had gotten him some new ski equipment which he was grateful for. You give your family a thumbs up. The last gift was one from you, Harry, Paige, and Noah as it cost a pretty penny. It was just in an envelope. He opens it carefully, and his eyes widen, nearly welling up with tears.

“No way.” He looks at the four of you.

“What is it, Andy?” Brandon asks.

“Three tickets to the Ariana Grande concert and…a pass for a meet and greet.”

“Whoa!” Caroline exclaims. “That’s incredible!”

Andy stands up and gives everyone a hug, thanking you all profusely.

“Think this’ll hold you over until you get a phone next year?” Paige asks him.

“Definitely.”

He knew the three tickets implied that he could bring a friend with him, and the obvious choice was Caroline. Brandon didn’t mind Ari, but it was something that Andy and Caroline really bonded over. He could talk to her about it later.

The party was a huge success, and Andy was feeling super happy. It was nice for him to see so many people interacting.

“Well, we better get going since it’s getting late.” Paige says to him, giving him a big hug and kiss. “I’m so glad you had a good birthday, baby.”

“Me too, thanks again for everything, Mum.”

He says goodbye to Noah, Rachel, Allie, Ned, and Lydia as well. Then he takes his time saying goodbye to your family. Needless to say he was pooped by the time everyone left.

“When can I use the pottery kit?” He asks Harry as he cleans some things in the kitchen.

“I can set it up in the garage one of these weekends and you can go to town.”

“Alright!” Andy exclaims. “I’m gonna go to bed early I think, I’m tired, but thanks for everything today.”

“You’re welcome, but don’t just thank me.” He nods towards you and Andy gives you a hug.

“Thanks, Y/N.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

He lets you go and heads to his room. Once his door is closed Harry yanks you towards him and you giggle.

“Laugh all you want, but I’m going to ravage you tonight.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm.” He ghosts his lips along your jawline before kissing on your neck, sucking a little making you moan softly. “You were incredible today. Well, you’re incredible every day, but…everything just meant a lot to me.”

“I really feel like we’re a family, you know? I love it so much, more than I ever thought I would.”

Harry kisses you, a little more passionately than you were expecting, but it was still nice.

“Go on into the bedroom, I’ll be in after I finish with the dishes.”

“Nonsense, I can help.”

“Don’t be silly, I’ve got it.”

“Harry, I can help with the dishes.”

“I know you can, and you usually do, but you don’t have to worry about it right now. I want you to go in and wait for me.”

“Okay…” You turn away and stop short to look back at him. “I think I’m gonna run a bath…long day outside.”

“Put in that lavender bath bomb for me, would you?”

You smile and nod and head into your room’s en suite. Tonight was going to be a good night.

//

Harry slips into the tub, and you sit in front of him. He had checked on Andy before coming in, and the poor kid had all but passed out in his bed. You rest your head on Harry’s shoulder as you both relax.

“This was an excellent idea.” He sighs. “Feel like we don’t take advantage of the tub enough.”

“We don’t usually have time.”

“Well, with school over we will, especially during the day with Andy at school.”

“I’m gonna miss him when we send him off to Paige’s…”

“It’s a month away, babe. Plus, we’ll still see him plenty.”

“I know…”

“You’ll come camping again, yeah? He and Brandon are really looking forward to the annual trip.”

“Oh, definitely! And this time when we wake up all snuggled up it won’t be weird.”

“Can’t believe that was almost a year ago.” He kisses your temple. “Now we’re living together, it’s wild.”

“I’m really glad the school doesn’t care about colleagues dating, or we’d be in a real pickle.”

“Oh, I would have just secretly dated you.”

“Oh, really?” You turn slightly to look at him.

“Yeah, you’re talking to an unapologetic romantic here, a secret romance would be, like, right up my alley.”

“You’re an idiot.” You giggle and kiss his cheek. “Can you believe I only have one more year of doctoral work to do and then I’m done? I can’t wait for my work to be published.”

“I was thinking…the journal that publishes my works is always looking for younger people in the field, if you ever wanted to chat with them.”

“No, that’s your thing, babe, but thank you. Lisa has a few names of some people for me anyways.” You take his hand and kiss his soapy knuckles. “But, I will need your help soon. I need to start working on my defense presentation.”

“Who’s on your committee?”

“Lisa, Sandra, Dan and Alice from English, Patricia from Psychology, and Greg from Philosophy.”

“Good group.”

“Thanks, I thought it was pretty decent. And then obviously whoever else wants to come can. I just want the presentation to feel fun and eye-opening. You’re so good at captivating your audience, I wanna work on that.”

“You know I have horrible stage fright?”

“No way.”

“Way! I get all these nerves right before I need to give a lecture like that, but I accept the fear and use it to help me give a good performance.”

“Do you ever get nervous before teaching a class?”

“I’m always nervous on the first day, but once we get rolling and I can gauge how the kids will be I’m usually fine.”

“Same for me.”

“Well, I’m more than happy to help you, baby, you know that.”

“Thank you.”

His arms were wrapped around you stomach gently. One of his hands starts to drift lower, and between your legs, causing your breath to hitch.

“Alright?” He says into your ear.

“Mhm.” You say as you part your legs a little for him. His other hand come up to grope one of your breasts.

His fingers rub circles into your clit before slipping into your center. You groan and buck your hips forward by accident. His other hand comes up to your mouth.

“Gotta be quiet, baby.” He coos as his fingers pump in and out of you. You nod against him and removes his hand. “That’s my good girl.”

“Harry.” You whine softly. “Wanna ride you.”

“Okay.” You move to turn around but he stops you. “Should be able to just slip it in like this, yeah?”

“Let’s give it a try.”

You lift yourself up enough for him to line himself up with you and you sink down on him. He thrusts up into you and you gasp. He brings his fingers to your mouth for you to suck on and you reach back to do the same thing for him as you continue to fuck each other. His other hand stays rubbing your clit, and you feel yourself getting closer and closer. You start squeezing around him, tighter and tighter. You moan out around his fingers once you’ve gotten your release. Harry as to quickly lift you off him to come on your back.

“Jesus, shit.” He pants. “That was a close one.” He kisses your shoulder before pressing his forehead against it. He reaches for a washcloth to dip into the water to clean your back up. You hum your response as your eyes flutter closed.

“M’sleepy now.”

“Me too, love, come on.”

He helps you stand up and you both towel off and get ready for bed. Harry gives you kisses and smooches before you turn over so he can spoon you.

“Love you so much.” He sighs as his arm wraps around you.

“I love you too.” You adjust against him and sigh as well.

//

“Straight A’s again!” Andy says as he slaps his report card down on the table when he gets home from his last day of school. “Also not to brag, but Caroline and I won the three-legged race during field day, so I think ice cream is in order.”

“You didn’t partner up with Brandon?” Harry asks.

“Caroline got to me first.” Andy shrugs. “Please, Dad, can we get ice cream?

“Yeah, please, Dad.” You pout with Andy, and Harry sighs with a chuckle.

“Alright, we can get ice cream after dinner tonight.”

Y/N and Andy high five to celebrate.

“Andy, things are okay with you and Brandon, right?” Harry asks him.

“Yeah, they’re fine.”

“Did he ever, um, try to teach you anything again?” You ask, carefully.

“No.” Andy shakes his head. “We never really talked about it. He’s excited for the camping trip though.”

“Well, that’s good.” Harry says. “It’ll be a nice couple of days.”

After dinner you all go downtown to get ice cream at the local shop, and sit outside to enjoy your treats. You smirk to yourself as Andy bites into your sundae.

“You know, I’m pretty sure I joined you for this last year, but I recall you not being able to get topping because you texted me with your dad’s phone.”

“Oh, yeah!” Andy chuckles. “That was pretty good.”

“You’re a little too sly for your own good.” Harry says. “I could have gotten her to come with us on my own.”

“Yeah, but you were taking too long. Sometimes you have to take some initiative, Dad.” Andy smirks as Harry rolls his eyes.

“Eat your ice cream.”

You laugh at that, and gives Harry’s hand a squeeze.

“Either way it was nice to be included. Do you have big summer plans with Mum, Andy?”

“Yes and no. I mean, her wedding is next month, so that’ll take up some time, and then Rachel and I will come stay with you when they’re on their honeymoon. But I think in between all that Noah’s got some boat trips planned. I like fishing with him.”

“That’s right…they’ll be with us for my birthday…” You look at Harry. “I don’t know what my family has planned…”

“I was hoping to take everyone up to the cabin that week so it still felt like a little vacation.”

“Oh, that would be fun!”

“Your family could come up if they wanted.”

“I don’t wanna create more work.”

“You wouldn’t be, I think it would be fun.”

“Yeah! We can go on the jet skis.”

“You mean you can go on the jet skis. I’ll watch from the shore.” You laugh.

“It’s actually pretty fun.” Harry grins.

“I’ll take your word for it.”

//

Brandon slept over the night before the camping trip so you all could leave bright and early. Harry was taking you up a different 4,000 footer. You must have asked him a dozen times if there would be a bathroom there, and every time Harry said yes, so you believed him.

The boys were really excited. You could hear them up late talking about the view they’d have since Andy had hiked it before. Brandon seemed thrilled to be having some one on one time with Andy. As you started up the trail, you could tell they were having a good time by the sounds of their laughter.

“Doing alright so far?” Harry asks you. “Other than the couple of small hikes we went on last month, this is, like, your first big one of the season.”

“Oh, sure, I’m fine. I’ll probably be sore tomorrow. I’m just happy to be outside, you know?”

“Definitely. I hate seeing you all cooped up.”

“Can’t help it.”

“I like seeing you do your work out on the deck.”

“I love having an outdoor space to do it in, you have no idea.”

It was a very long hike, full of breaks, and look out points. You all weren’t in a rush, which always made things more fun. Once you’re at the summit you all drop your gear with relief. Tons of pictures are taken, and then you head off to find the bathroom while the boys set up the tents. It felt like an anniversary in a way. This when you sort of realized you might like Harry as more than a friend. You’ll never forget waking up with him like you did.

“You guys are speedy.” You say after coming back.

“I’d say we’re professionals at this point.” Andy says and it makes you laugh.

As the sun starts to set, you all get cozy around the fire. Harry had made a nice dinner, and now you were enjoying some s’mores. The boys say goodnight first, and then you and Harry clean up before heading into your own tent.

“Look at us, sleeping in a double wide sleeping bag.” You giggle as you cozy up to him.

“Should have just done this last year too. I think that really would have put out there how I was feeling.” He chuckles and kisses your hairline.

“At least it won’t be awkward when you wake up spooning me.”

“I never thought it was awkward.” He strokes your cheek with his thumb. “Especially not with how you looked up at me.”

“I wanted you to kiss me that morning.”

“I did too.” He pecks your lips.

“I love kissing you.”

“Love kissing you too, baby.”

While you and Harry were whispering sweet nothings to each other, Andy and Brandon were have their own conversation in their tent.

“So, your mom’s wedding is next month, are you excited?” Brandon asks Andy as they get settled into their sleeping bags.

“Yeah, I get to walk her down the aisle, so that’ll be cool.”

“Is your dad going?”

“Officially, yeah.” Andy sighs. “I think Y/N told him it would be good to go for the whole thing, and he agreed. Although, I think he said he plans on sitting all the way in the back.” Andy laughs. “I know it’s gotta be awkward for him.” Andy rolls over onto his side to look at Brandon easier, and Brandon does the same. “When do you, um, go to camp?”

“Last week of July through the first week of August…well, that’s when I usually go, I don’t know if I wanna go this year. I have another week to decide.”

“Why don’t you wanna go?”

“Because of Molly.” Brandon groans. “We broke up again.”

“You did?!”

“Yeah.”

“When?”

“Like…two days ago…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I figured I’d tell you this weekend, it’s not a big deal, but I don’t really feel like dealing with her for two weeks. I’m keep my fingers crossed that we won’t have the same schedule next year.”

“So, you don’t think you’re immediately going to get back together with her when school starts?” Andy laughs.

“Nope.” Brandon smiles. “I’m over her.”

“Cool…” Andy blushes. “Well, if you don’t end up going to camp, um, my mum said I could invite a few friends to her wedding.”

“Oh, yeah?” Brandon raises an eyebrow at him. “Who else are you going to invite?”

“Probably Caroline and Tyler.”

“Andy…if you still like her so much, why did you break up?”

“I like being friends with her, I don’t know. I don’t think I was ready for all that…dating someone…maybe when I’m older.”

“There were a few rumors going around that you liked someone more than her.” Andy’s eyes widen at Brandon. “Is that true?”

“Yeah.” Andy swallows. “Yeah, there’s someone I like more than her, but I’m still not really ready to date so I’ve been keeping it to myself.”

“Who, um, who is it?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why?” Brandon frowns. “You’re my best friend, Andy…I’d tell you if I liked someone.”

“Would you?” Andy sits up and looks the other way. Brandon sits up as well.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“Can I ask you something first?”

“Okay.”

“If…if Tyler had been nervous about kissing Alexis…would you have offered to show him how like you did with me?”

Brandon’s face flushes. He was thankful that it was dark in the tent.

“Well, he’s not even with her, so it doesn’t matter does it?”

“Yes it does. Would you have done that with anyone?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re my best friend.” Brandon takes a deep breath. “You have been for as long as I can remember, Andy. I mean…the day you told me that you weren’t going back to your mom’s for the school year was, like, more exciting than any present I’ve ever gotten. Getting to start middle school with you was like a dream come true. Ty’s great and all, but he’s not my best friend.”

“So…that’s all it was then? Because I’m your best friend and you just wanted to help?”

“Yeah.”

Andy nods and lays back down. Brandon does the same. They both lay on their backs.

“You’re gonna tell me who else you like, are you?”

“No.” Andy looks at Brandon slightly. “Not yet anyways.”

“If I don’t go to camp I’ll come to the wedding.” He looks at Andy. “Just don’t dance with Caroline the entire time.” He smirks.

“I won’t.”

Andy rolls over to his other side, facing away from Brandon. He blinks a couple of tears away. How could he tell Brandon he liked him when Brandon was telling him he was just a friend? He didn’t want to do anything to ruin their friendship. He also knew he just wasn’t ready for kissing or things like that, so he wasn’t going to say anything until he knew he was really ready.

//

The next morning you wake up in Harry’s arms, like always, and give his cheek a kiss before sitting up to stretch.

“Sleep alright, baby?” He yawns.

“Mhm, did you?”

“Yup.” He smiles and you smile back at him. This weekend felt like an anniversary to him too. Your actual one was coming up soon.

You both get up and use the bathroom, and see that the boys are already up and ready to go. They seemed to be tired.

“You both sleep alright?” You ask as you start your journey back down the mountain.

“Mhm.” Brandon yawns. “Just tired, it’s early.”

“I’m so glad school’s over so we can just sleep in.” Andy says.

“I know the feeling.” You say. “Although, your dad makes it impossible sometimes.”

“Well excuse me for trying to stick to a routine.” Harry scoffs. “I do my best to stay quiet.”

“Mm, sure, Jan.” You say and it makes him laugh.

“Is that something Auntie Janette would say?” Andy asks.

“No, it’s from The Brady Bunch.” Harry says. “You know that old show, we’ve watched it a couple of times. Jan can’t stand her older sister Marsha, and Marsha always catches Jan in a lie. It’s pretty funny.”

“It’s, like, a catchphrase, right, Mr. Styles?” Brandon asks.

“Exactly.”

It’s a smooth trek down the mountain. You all take your time just as you did going up, and eventually you get back to the car. Harry drops Brandon off at his house, and Andy walks him up to his door.

“Well, thanks for another great trip.” Brandon say.

“Sure, I’m glad you came.”

“When do you go to your mom’s?”

“In a few days…”

“Okay, maybe we can hang out before you go?”

“Definitely.” The boys hug and then Brandon goes inside. Andy sighs heavily when he gets in the car. You and Harry look at each other before he drives off towards the house.

“Andy, when you come back later this summer the kitchen’s gonna have an all new look, are you excited?” You say, trying to break the tension.

“Yeah! You better send me pictures along the way.”

“We will.” Harry says. “We’ll need your expert input I’m sure.”

//

Doing demo in the kitchen was a liberating experience. Knocking out the old cabinets with Harry was more fun than you thought it would be. Then again, how could it not be a good time watch him use a sledgehammer?

“I say we’ve earned ourselves a couple of drinks.” He says as he gets a couple of beers out of the fridge. “I know beer’s not your favorite, but-“

“It’s fine.” You take it. “Let’s go sit outside, it’s all dusty in here.”

He agrees, and you both head out to the deck.

“I’m glad we rented that dumpster, clean up shouldn’t be too difficult.” Harry says as he cracks his beer open. “Especially with how much we already did.”

“I know! We got so much done today. I can’t wait to see what the new stain on the floor will look like.”

“I was talking to the floor guy about that, he said since he’s refinishing it as well we won’t be able to walk on it properly for a few days. I was thinking we could go up to the cabin while it’s getting done. We both can still work without a ton of fumes.”

“Good idea. I certainly wouldn’t mind the view of the lake for a few days.”

“Cabinets should be installed by the wedding.” He says as he takes a sip.

“You’re sure you’re okay to go? I don’t want to force you…”

“No, I know I need to be there. I wanna see Andy walk her down the aisle and all that. Besides, my suit is gorgeous, I can’t let it go to waste.” He scoffs and it makes you laugh.

“Just making sure.” You reach for his hand and give it a squeeze. “Ugh, I need a long, hot shower. I feel gross.”

“Same here. Feel like sharing?”

“No, I’m on my period.” You pout. “Just need a little alone time.”

“Fine.” He sighs. “Go do your thing.”

“Thanks, babe.” You get up and kiss the top of his head before going inside.

Harry knew you were going to take a shower by yourself, but he wanted to play it cool. He had ordered pizza and made sure to get your favorite wine, but had to hide it from you. He cleans himself off quickly in the other bathroom, and gets everything set up outside. He lights a few candles. Satisfied with his work, he waits for you.

“I’m all done, thanks for…” You walk outside in an oversized shirt and pajama pants. “What is all this?”

“Our anniversary dinner.” He smiles and wraps his arms around you. “It was a year ago today that you came here with this exact meal and we kissed for the for the first time.”

“Oh my goodness, Harry.” You kiss him and wrap your arms around his neck. “This is so sweet, I…I thought we were celebrating in a couple of days though, I-“

“That’s what I told you so I could surprise you. Normally I’d cook, but the kitchen isn’t functioning at the moment.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

You both kiss again, and you decide to sit on his lap as you ate and drank. You just really wanted to be as close as possible right now. He didn’t mind one bit, he liked when you’d cling to him a little more.

“The candles were a nice touch, very romantic, Har.” You sit back against his chest and he wraps his arms around your stomach.

“I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it! I’m not super into overdone surprises, so this is literally perfect.”

“You really do like keeping things simple, huh?”

“Mhm, I mean, the gesture is always appreciated, I just don’t like people making such a big fuss over me, you know?” Harry hums his response and moves some of your hair so he can kiss on the back of your neck.

“But you’re worth making a fuss over.” He mumbles as his lips move up your neck. “How heavy is your flow, baby?”

“Should be minimal since I just showered.” You bite your bottom lip. “Do you really feel like it?”

“Yeah, we can just put a towel down like we’ve done before.”

“Okay.” You smile as he nibbles on your earlobe.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You giggle and get off him. You bring the pizza and leftover wine inside before going into the bedroom.

Harry puts a couple of towels down while you go into the bathroom. You come out and quickly walk over to the bed to lay down. Harry rolls a condom on, and puts some extra lube on it so he doesn’t hurt you.

“All set?” He says to you as he knees onto the bed.

“Mhm.” You smile.

His lips slot over yours and his hands knead your breasts. He pushes inside you and you gasp into his mouth.

“Lube was a little cold.” You giggle.

“Sorry, baby, is it better now?” He asks as he rocks in and out of you.

“Yes.”

He squishes his nose to yours, and you wrap your legs around his waist. He comes closer so you’re chest to chest. You lick into his mouth and he groans against you. You feel tears start to form in your eyes and you start laughing.

“You haven’t even come yet, why are you crying?” He laughs as he uses his thumbs to wipe the small droplets away.

“I’m just really happy we’re together.”

“Me too, darling.” He kisses your forehead.

“I’m also hormonal.”

“Mhm, sure, blame it on that if you want.” He smirks and continues thrusting in and out of you.

“Fuck, that feels good.” Your nails rake down his back and he groans into your ear. Your nails dig into his ass as he fucks you harder. “Just like that, Harry, don’t stop.” You moan.

He bites down on your neck, and you whimper. It always felt so fucking good when he would do that, and with you not having to work and Andy being at Paige’s, Harry was free to litter you with marks. Well, within reason. He’d save the really nasty bruises for your inner thighs.

You cry out as you come undone, and Harry fills up the condom not too long after. You both get cleaned up and you grab the bottle of wine as you get settled for a movie in bed. You each take turns swigging from it. You were sitting in front of Harry, all cozy.

“I’ll need to work on my paper tomorrow.” You tell him. “Taking a couple of days off for demo was good to clear my head, but I need to get back at it.”

“That’s fine, I have some work I need to do for my manuscript. Are you planning to go to the CMT conference again this summer?”

“Can’t.” You take another swig from the bottle and look up at him. “It’s in California this year, and it’s right before the fall semester.”

“So?”

“So…that’s time I would need to prep for my classes. I’d be gone for about a week with the traveling.”

“Do you want to go?”

“Well…yeah, there’s going to be some really good speakers this year.”

“Then you should go.” He smiles. “I’d go too, but I need to be around for Andy once August hits.”

“You’d really be okay with me being gone an entire week across the country?”

“Baby, no one loves a lecture more than you, I don’t want you to not go because of me.” He kisses your hairline.

“I’d literally be getting back the day of our first faculty meeting. I looked into it already. I’d have to go from the airport to the school.”

“You’re always hours early for the faculty meeting…”

“Yeah, because I like getting my office in order.” You scoff. “Is there a reason you want me to go?”

“No.” He shrugs. “I just think it’s rare when we don’t have to cancel class to go to a conference, and the school will pay for you to go.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you can apply for a scholarship, I can show you. Then it would just be the air fare which isn’t that expensive out there this time of year.”

“I suppose that’s true…if I can get the school to pay for it then I’ll definitely go.”

“Good.” He smiles.

//

A few days away at the cabin were just what the doctor ordered. It felt weird not having Andy around, but you honestly weren’t upset at having a break from parenting. You texted with him here and there, just to check in and let him know you were thinking of him, as did Harry. You really cherished the time you and Harry could just be you and Harry. He got you to go on a jet ski with him, and even though you screamed the entire time, it was still fun. It was the perfect getaway home, and when you got back to your actual home your new kitchen floors looked stunning. The cabinet people came in a couple of days later, and you made sure to send Andy all of the pictures. July was flying by.

“Okay, so, for your birthday, we’ll go to the cabin and bring the kids, and your parents and brothers will meet us up there for a couple of nights as well?” Harry says as he looks over his planner.

“Yes.” You chuckle.

“What?”

“You just look so serious. I feel like I’m having an appointment with you at your office.” You clear your throat. “You wanted to see me, Dr. Styles.” You pout at him and he swallows hard.

“That’s not funny.” He puts his pen down and takes his glasses off to look at you. “I could get in a big heap of trouble if a student came onto me like that.”

“Did it ever used to work on you when you were younger?”

“No.” He scoffs. “Although the girls, and some boys, would try, I have to give them credit. I’d get offers from them to babysit Andy just because they wanted to know how I lived and all that. It was more difficult when I was closer in age, now I don’t even give it a second glance. They know not to flirt with me anyways because my girlfriend would probably step in and pummel ‘em.” He grins at you.

“Got that right.” You smirk. “Although, you’re the jealous one, not me.”

“I would strangle any kid at that school if I saw them trying to make a move on you, no doubt about that.” You burst out laughing and put your hand over his to give it a squeeze.

“Okay, okay…are you ready for tomorrow?”

“Am I ready to see my son all dressed up? Yes. I hope he’s been behaving at the rehearsal dinner.” Harry looks at his watch. “Should be over soon.” He chews on his inner cheek. “Y/N…someday…when we, you know, get married…” A smile grows on your face. “I don’t think I’d want to invite them.”

“Wow, really? I’m…shocked…”

“At a petty level, I truthfully just don’t think she deserves to see me so happy, and I feel like she’s rubbing how happy she is in my face. She’s always been like, just, painfully oblivious.” He rests his chin on her palm. “I know it would hurt her, but I wouldn’t want her there.”

“Okay.” You get up and sit in his lap.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, I don’t need your ex at our wedding.” You laugh. “Maybe it’s different for her since she’s the one that called it quits. I know you’re over her, but I can understand how all this might still hurt.”

“It brings up a lot of things, yeah.” He looks up at you and smiles. “But I’m really happy with how everything worked out. I’m happy I’m with you.” He gives your shoulder a squeeze. “You-you’ve become like a second mum to Andy and…I feel like for so long I was just living my life on auto, just doing the same thing every day, but now…I have more of a purpose again.”

“Harry.” You coo and stroke his cheek. “You’ve changed my life for the better too.”

//

You were able to get your hair in a cute low bun, with some curls left out. You bought a light blue semi-formal dress to wear to pair with Harry’s suit. He was just getting his contacts in as you were slipping on your heels.

“Be honest, how do I look?” He says to you.

“Like I don’t wanna let you leave this house.” You bite your bottom lip.

“Excellent, just what I was going for.” He rubs his hands up and down your arms. “You look stunning, baby.”

“Thank you.”

“Ready to go meet her entire family and Noah’s?”

“Is everyone really going to fit in her backyard?”

“The ceremony is in the back yard, the reception is in a tent on the beach.”

“Oh…fancy.”

“Nothing but the best for her.” Harry rolls his eyes. “Got the gift?”

“In the car already.”

Harry nods and you both head out.

Andy looked handsome. His hair was perfect, and he essentially never looked more like his father. It was the tan he had from being out so much. He wouldn’t be able to see his friends before the ceremony since he needed to stay in close proximity with Paige. They were able to take all of the bridal party photos beforehand. Same with the groom’s party.

There were a ton of chairs set up, and people were finding their seats. You and Harry sit in the last row of seats on the bride’s side. He puts a pair of sunglasses on. The last thing he wanted to do was be recognized and exchange pleasantries with Paige’s extended family.

“I have some tissue in my purse if you need some.” You say to him. “I don’t know about you, but I always cry at weddings.”

“So do I, thanks.” He holds his hand out for the tissues and you give him a couple. He puts his arm around you and kisses your temple.

“Think there will be an open bar?”

“Oh, for sure.” He scoffs. “We’ll be drinking well tonight.”

“Hi, Mr. Styles.” Brandon and Tyler come up to you and Harry. “Can we sit with you? We don’t really know anyone else.”

“Sure!” Harry says.

“Yeah, plenty of room.” You say. “Where’s Caroline?”

“Why should I know?” Brandon says as he sits down next to you.

“Because you’re all friends, duh.” You say to him.

“She’s in the bathroom.” Tyler says. “She’ll be here in a second.”

Caroline eventually joins everyone, but she’s a little fidgety.

“What took you so long?” Brandon asks her.

“There was, um, a line.” She says.

More and more take their seats, and music starts up. Everyone looks forward as Rachel walks up with Noah and the rest of the groomsmen. She looked lovely. Noah gives her a hug and kiss before she gets in line with the rest of the party. A couple of Paige’s younger cousins act as the flower girls. Allie and Ned walk Lydia down the aisle, and then come the bridesmaids. Harry knew them all well. Friends from college, and friends from work. Some of their eyes widen when they notice Harry, but they keep walking. Everyone stands up when Paige’s bridal music starts. You get your phone ready to snap a few shots of Andy.

“Oh my god, look at him.” Harry whispers proudly. He lifts his sunglasses to see him better. Andy waves to his father.

Paige and Harry briefly make eye contact. They nod at each other as Andy continues to walk her down the aisle.

“He’s a spitting image.” You whisper to Harry, and he smiles at you.

The ceremony is quick, there’s some Hebrew from a rabbi, and Noah steps on the glass. Everyone’s told where to go for cocktail hour, and they start making their way.

“Dad!” Andy shouts to get his attention. “Mum wants a family picture.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, like, with all of us, come on.” He tugs on Harry’s jacket sleeve, and Harry looks back at you panicked. You follow them to the spot where the photos are being taken.

“Hey you two!” Paige beams. “Of course your suit is amazing, shouldn’t have doubted it for a second.” She says to Harry. “And you look lovely, Y/N.”

“Um, thank you. Congratulations.” You say to her.

“Thank you.” She giggles. “I’m a missus!  Can’t believe it. Anyways, I thought it would be nice if we took a blended family photo.” Harry just nods and follows her. “Okay, so I was thinking I could stand in the middle, Rachel on one side, and Andy on the other, like, in front, and then Noah on one side and you on the other, and Y/N next to you.”

“Wait, you want me in the photo?” You ask.

“Of course! You’re family now, have been for a while.”

Harry snakes his arm around your waist and pulls you close to him, and uses his other hand to put on Andy’s shoulder. They take a few photos like that as everyone else stands to the side watching.

“Okay, well, we’re going to the cocktail hour, thanks for including us in your very special day.” Harry says with just an ounce of sarcasm and an ironic grin, and tugs you along.

“Alright, I can see what you mean now, painfully oblivious.”

“Jesus, thank you! Was that awkward or was that awkward?”

“Nope, very awkward. Come on, let’s go drink.”

The tent on the beach was exquisite. There was an open bar, a DJ, and waiters walking around with appetizers. You and harry go right up to the bar for cocktails before finding what table you’ve been put at.

“Harry!” A woman squeals and lunges onto him, making him almost spill his drink. “God, it’s been years!”

“Sarah!” Harry hugs her back. “I know, how are you?”

“I’m doing well.” She steps back from him. “You haven’t aged a day.”

“My hair would beg to differ.” He runs a hand through it.

“Oh, please, you look distinguished.” She smiles and looks at you. “And who’s this?”

“Oh! Sorry, um, Sarah this is my girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, Sarah and I went to uni together with Paige.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” You shake her hand.  

“Same to you. My hubby, Joe, is just getting us some drinks. Seems like we’ve been put at the same table. I wonder if we all were.”

“All?” Harry asks.

“Sure! Jane and her wife are her, and so is Greg, he came stag…” She leans into Harry. “Divorced recently.” She whispers. “Oh! And Lauren’s here too. Basically the reject list for the wedding party.” She laughs.

Harry didn’t think Paige was still this close with all of their old college buddies. It would be like a mini-reunion, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He almost wished he was put at the kids table with Andy and his friends.

“I’m shocked to see you here, I mean I’m happy to see you and all, but-“

“Well, as you saw, our son walked her down the aisle and she really didn’t want me to miss it, so here I am.”

Slowly everyone else makes their way over to the table. Harry introduces you to everyone. The last one to make their way is Lauren.

“Harry Styles.” She smiles and he turns to look at her.

“Hey.” He smiles back and hugs her. “Um, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.” He hooks his arm around your waist and pulls you close to his side as you shake your hand.

“You’re a very lucky woman, Y/N. Harry’s the best.” She says.

“Yeah, he is.” You say.

You all take your seats as the wedding party makes their way into the tent. Harry keeps his hand on your thigh the entire time. Harry could see on Paige’s face that she was desperately trying to keep it together. She missed her father. Everyone stands up and crowds around the dancefloor as Noah takes Rachel’s hand for a father-daughter dance.

“She is too cute.” You say to Harry.

“I know it, absolutely precious.” He agrees and takes a sip of his drink.

Next up is a mother-son dance for Andy and Paige. You watch as the smile grows on Harry’s face. He was proud of Andy for being such a good sport, and he could see that Andy was having fun. You take your phone out to take a video of the dance so Andy could see it later. Noah has a dance with his mother, and then Paige has a dance with Lydia.

“I’m shocked.” Harry says to you. “Lydia’s so traditional.”

“I’m glad to see her doing something nice for Paige.”

Once all of that is out of the way, everyone takes their seats again for the first course. Just a Caesar salad and some bread. You listen as Harry and his friends reminisce. You wonder, briefly, what his deal with Lauren is. She seemed to be the most sentimental. She was sitting next to you and you could feel her eyes burning into you.

“So, how long have you and Harry been together for?” She asks you.

“A year.” You smile. “But we were friends a year prior to us getting together.”

“Oh, do you work with him at the university?”

“Yes, we met because I ended up being his office neighbor. I guess that’s why we became such good friends too.”

“You know what solidified us being friends?” He leans over you, joining the conversation. “That first game night you came to. We were playing charades remember?”

“How could I forget?” You smile and kiss his cheek. He goes back to the other conversation he was having with his friend Greg. “How did you and Harry meet?” You ask Lauren.

“At a party.” She shrugs. “I was a year ahead of him, same with Paige. I think Greggy brought him out, they were roommates their sophomore year. He fit right in with our group. He immediately had a crush on Paige, everyone could see it.” She laughs and your mouth forms into a straight line. “Don’t worry, all of that was a long time ago.”

“Yeah.” You finish your drink and tap Harry’s shoulder. “I’m going to get another one.”

“Do you want me to get it?”

“No, I need to stretch my legs.” You stand up and walk towards the bar. Harry looks at Lauren.

“What?” She asks him.

“Did you say something to her?”

“About what?” He gives her an obvious look. “No, why would I mention that?”

“Because you’re you.” He smirks.

“All I said was that it was obvious that you had a crush on Paige from the first time Greg brought you out, nothing about you and I.”

“Maybe don’t mention how much I used to like my ex?”

“She asked me how you and I met, it was just part of the story. Lighten up, H.”

“Here, I got you another one too.” You say as you sit back down.

“Thanks, babe.”

The main course is served, and toasts start being made. Allie gives a small toast, but tears up. Noah’s best man lightens the mood with some funny jokes. Andy and Rachel even give a toast, a poem they worked on together. Harry had to dab his eyes with your tissues to wipe a few tears away.

“I’m just so proud of him. He looks so grown up.” He pouts at you.

“I know.” You smile. “It’s okay.”

Noah and Paige thank everyone for coming, and then most people make their way to the dancefloor. Andy comes racing overo to your table and throws his arms around Harry.

“How was it?” He asks.

“You did amazing, buddy.”

“Y/N, will you come dance?”

“Sure, let me just kick these heels off.” You giggle and get up. Andy takes your hand and leads you to the dancefloor.

Harry watches as you twirl Andy around and just be silly with him. It warmed his heart.

“I’m gonna go join them.” He takes his suit jacket off. “Hope you all will dance too.”

“Need about three more drinks.” Sarah says. “But feel free to warm it up for us out there.”

Harry laughs and heads over to you. His dance moves make Andy laugh hysterically. The wedding photographer comes over and takes a picture of the three of you. After a few songs, Andy says he’s gonna go dance with his friends, and enjoy some cake.

“Are you having a good time?” Harry asks as you both make your way to the bar again.

“Mhm, are you?”

“It’s not too bad. I’m really glad you’re here.” He gives your hand a squeeze. “This’ll probably be my last one, I don’t wanna get so fucked up that I can’t drive us home.”

“I can cool it if you wanna keep drinking.”

“No, it’s okay. I also don’t want Andy seeing me sloshed, you know?”

“Oh, true. Let’s nurse these ones then, yeah?”

“Harry!” Paige comes over to you both. “Would you come take another picture with all our college friends?”

“Um, sure.” Harry hands you his drink and you follow to where the photo is being taken. He stands as far away from Paige as he can, and flashes that toothy smile of his.

“Not that I don’t love Noah, but seeing Harry tonight…makes me sad that Paige couldn’t work it out with him.” You overhear a woman say to another. You try not to make it obvious that you’re listening.

“I know! How could you not make it work with a man like that? Must be his personality, good dick can only make you happy for so long.”

Your mouth falls open in shock. You turn to the women and grimace. Before you have a chance to say anything Harry’s coming back over to you, snatching his drink and tugging you back to the dancefloor. You shake what you heard from your head as you look at him. Harry had a wonderful personality, and if those bitched were too dumb to see that, then fuck them. It was fun to dance with Harry like this, just goofy and without a care.

Andy was having a good time dancing as a group with his friends. A slow song comes on to give everyone a break from the fast paced music. He looks over and sees you and Harry coming together for a dance and he smiles.

“Now this is my favorite kind of dancing.” Harry says into your ear.

“Really? So when we went to that club up north and I backed my thang up against you...?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Okay, this is my second favorite kind of dancing.” You both giggle. “That was a great night, I have to say.”

“Mhm.” You smile and kiss him quickly before resting your head on his shoulder as he leads you.

“Andy, wanna dance?” Caroline asks him shyly.

“Yeah.” He smiles and puts his hands on her waist.

“You look really handsome.”

“Thanks.” He blushes. “I like your dress. You know you always look pretty.”

She smiles at him.

“I’m glad we’re still good friends.” She says as they sway back and forth.

“Me too.”

“During the next slow song you should ask Brandon to dance.”

“What?”

“It’s like you’re always saying, rip the band aid.” She grins at him.

“Caroline, I…”

“Look, I’m not trying to assume anything, but if I had to guess who it was you liked I’d say it’s him, and I think he likes you too, but you both are just being stupid by not going for it.”

“You really think he likes me back?” It was the first time he had admitted his feels to a friend.

“I think so, I think he’s just nervous.” She shrugs.

“This whole thing has been really confusing. You were the first girl I ever really liked, and I like him too, so…”

“My oldest sister deals with the same thing.”

“She does?!”

“Yeah! She came out to us earlier this year, she said she’s bi.”

“And your parents were cool with it?”

“Sure, they were just happy she felt comfortable enough to say how she was feeling.”

“Wow.”

“See? It’s way more common than you think.” The song ends and they let go of each other. “And, just for the record, you were the first boy I ever really liked too, and I’m happy I get to say Andy Styles was my first boyfriend.” She kisses his cheek and he smiles. “I have to use the ladies room, I’ll be back.”

“What was that about?” Brandon asks Andy as he and Tyler step closer.

“Nothing.” He shrugs.

“Are you back together?”

“No, she just kissed my cheek, uh, thanking me for the dance. It’s no big deal, B.”

Brandon nods and they all start dancing again. You and Harry sit for a bit to rest your feet, and to munch on some bread. You notice that Lauren and Greg have been pretty chatty.

“Think anything’s going to happen between those two?” You nod over to them.

“Wouldn’t put it past her.” Harry scoffs. “I bet she was hoping I wouldn’t be here with someone.” Alright, so he was a little drunk, and that statement just slipped.

“Why’s that?”

“Hm? Oh, I don’t know.” He shakes his head and you narrow your eyes at him. “What?”

“Harry if you used to hook up with her you can just say so, it was, like, fifteen years ago…”

“You make me sound so old.” He pouts. “Alright, yeah, we used to hook up, but it wasn’t serious, and we kept it quiet, not wanting to disrupt our circle of friends. She’s just one of those people that you think is really sweet and wholesome, and then she’s not. I didn’t like it.” He stands back up and puts his hand out to you. “Come on, let’s go dance some more.”

“Okay.” You take his hand and go back out to the dancefloor. Another slow starts and you happily wrap your arms around Harry’s neck. “I take back what I said earlier, this really is the best kind of dancing.”

He smiles at you and then leans in for a kiss. Your lips press together and then you both sigh as you dance. Andy takes a deep breath and goes over to Brandon who was sitting down, drinking some water. Tyler and Caroline had been picked up to go home already. Brandon’s parents wouldn’t be there to pick him up until a little later.

“Hey.” Andy says to him.

“Hey, my parents are on their way.”

“Oh…so you don’t wanna dance?” He rubs the back of his neck.

“To this song?” Brandon stands up and puts his hands in his pockets. “A little slow, don’t you think?”

“I’m okay with the tempo.”

“There’s a lot of people around…”

“We could go outside, I’m gonna walk you out anyways.”

“Okay.”

Andy and Brandon go outside the tent. There were a few people out there having smoke breaks and just a breather from dancing. They go to the side where things are a little more secluded.

“How…how should we do this?” Andy asks.

“We could just hug and sway back and forth.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” The boys hug and start swaying back and forth. Andy’s heart was racing like never before. “I’m really glad you didn’t go to camp this summer.” Andy says and they stop to look at each other.

“You are?”

“Yeah.” He smiles at his friend.

Brandon daintily cups one of Andy’s cheeks, and Andy closes his eyes. Just as Brandon leans in his phone goes off. He sighs and presses his forehead to Andy’s for a moment before getting his phone out of his pocket and letting Andy go.

“Hello?” He says obviously annoyed. “Yeah, I’m ready, are you here? Okay…I’m down at the tent, I’ll wait outside for you.” He hangs up. “My dad’s, uh, gonna come get me out here, so…”

“Right.” Andy nods. “How long do you think he’ll be?”

“He said five minutes.”

“Alright, well, I’ll wait out here with you.”

“Thanks.” The boys walk close to the entrance of the tent to wait for Brandon’s dad.

“Brandon?”

“Yeah?”

“Were you going to kiss me?”

“Yeah, I was.” Andy’s face flushes as he looks at his friend. “Got sort of interrupted.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Maybe another time, though?”

Andy smiles at him and nods yes. Mr. Stewart comes to the tent and the boys say goodbye. Andy goes back inside and heads to the dancefloor with you and Harry.

“There you are!” You exclaim. “They’re gonna do the cha cha slide.”

“Great!” The song starts and Harry watches a ton of you follow along with the steps of the song. “Come on, Dad!”

“Fine!” Harry jumps in and follows along as well.

It ended up being a great night despite some of the awkwardness. You get your shoes on, but they sting. You contemplate just walking out barefoot, but you could easily step on broken glass outside, so you decide against it.

“All set?” Harry says to you. “Just confirmed with Paige. The kids will get dropped off in a couple of days, and then we’re headed to the cabin.”

“Perfect. It’s gonna be a great week away.”

You both say goodnight to Andy, who was about ready to pass out from all the dancing he did. Him and Rachel head up to the house.

“So, how were things with Brandon?” She asks him.

“Good…we danced together outside the tent.”

“Oh, how was that?!” She squeals.

“Shh, do you want the neighbors to hear? It was fine.” He smiles. “Just fine.”

Harry gets the two of you home, and you give him a devious grin as you get inside. He raises his eyebrows at you as if to ask if you’re not too tired, but you wink and start walking towards the bedroom.

“Feeling a little frisky, eh?” He asks as he takes his suit jacket off.

“Mhm, you looked so sexy tonight, and watching you dance really did it for me.”

“Oh, yeah?” He pulls you close to him.

“Yeah.”

You press your lips to his, and swipe your tongue along his bottom lip. He opens up for you and your tongue molds to his. He reaches behind you to unzip your dress, and it falls to the floor, pooling at your feet. Your hands work to unbutton his dress-shirt, and you push it off his shoulders. Next you get his pants undone and he leads you over to the bed. He shimmies out of his trousers and gets on the bed with you. You get between his legs and tug his boxers down. You kiss his tip and he hisses from the sensation. You lick up and down his shaft before wrapping your lips around him. You bob up and down slowly and look up at him.

“That’s so good, baby.” You raise your eyebrows at him while your tongue runs over his slit. “You’re a good girl, Y/N.”

Your eyes flutter closed, and you continue to suck on him how he likes, drool dripping down your chin. You don’t suck on him for too much longer since you want him to fuck you. You crawl up his body and grind your covered center over him. He unhooks your bra and kisses on your chest. He rolls ones of your nipples between his teeth and your head falls back.

“I need to get these off.” You grunt and get your panties off. You grab his length and line it up with yourself. “Okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll just pull out.”

You nod and sink down him. Your mouth falls open as he stretches every inch of you. You grip his shoulders and move yourself up and down.

“You got this wet just from sucking on me?” He grunts as he grips your hips to help move you back and forth.

“Can’t help it when I’m doing that and you call me a good girl, Harry.” You peck his lips. “It’s so hot.” You move to suck on his neck, and he presses you as close to him as possible.

You move in sync with each other, and you grind against him in the perfect way. You start breathing heavier as you feel yourself getting closer. You breathlessly tell him to keep going. You tighten around him as you come undone around his hard dick.

“Shit, fuck, Y/N!”

“Oof!”

He had to toss you off of him so he wouldn’t come inside you, leaving quite the mess on his lower stomach and thighs.

“Sorry, are you alright?”

“Yeah.” You giggle and prop yourself up on your elbows. “Are you? Normally you can hold it a little longer.”

“Not when you tighten up like that, Jesus…” He sighs and looks down at himself.

“I’ll go get a rag.” You get off the bed and go into the bathroom to grab a washcloth and run it under some warm water.

You come back and clean him up. He smiles up at you and you lean down to kiss him.

“We need to be more careful.” He says as you get into bed with him. “Just suck it up and use the condom, you know?”

“I know.” You sigh. “It just feels so good.” You pout at him.

“I know, darling, but you said you didn’t want to get pregnant until you have your doctorate. I’d feel terrible if it happened, and you got really stressed out…”

“Harry, if it happens it happens. It would be stressful, but plenty of women do it all the time. Now’s not the most ideal time, but I can’t tell you how excited I get when I think of carrying your baby sometimes.” You bite your bottom lip as you look at him.

“Don’t even fucking tempt me, Y/N, you know I’d put one in you now if you really wanted it.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” You kiss him quickly before turning over. “Soon, I promise.”

//

A week with Andy and Rachel at the cabin was interesting to say the least. Watching their dynamic was fascinating. They really did act like brother and sister. They’d bicker one minute and be laughing the next. He showed her how to use the jet skis, and they built sand castles together. Your family came up, and it made it ten times more fun for your birthday. Your parents even stay in to watch the kids so you, Harry, Phil, and Julian can all go out to a bar to celebrate. You couldn’t believe you were already twenty-eight. It was hard to feel old, though, when you could still have such a great time dancing and drinking. The day of your actual birthday you all enjoy some cake, and a few gifts.

Andy was back home with you and Harry now that it was just about the middle of August. It was nice having him home, it was too quiet without him, even if you did enjoy the alone time with Harry. Andy loved all of the changes that were made to the house. He had kept what happened with Brandon, or what almost happened with Brandon, to himself. He just wanted to keep that moment for himself. The Ariana Grande concert wouldn’t be until November, but Andy was already talking to you about outfit choices for the meet and greet.

“I just got back, and you’re leaving for a week?” Andy asks you at dinner when you tell him about your trip to California.

“Yeah, I have a conference to go to, I’ll be back before you know it.” You smile. “You’re gonna have some nice quality time with Dad.”

“Yeah, we’re gonna have a lot of fun.”

“Mhm, I can’t wait to go back to school shopping with you and Mum.” Andy rolls his eyes.

“That’s a day that should be way more fun that it is, and we’re not doing that until after Y/N gets back. We’ll have another pot painting day.” Harry takes a bite of his dinner. “I was thinking we could go to the pottery paint place, though. Have a little father-son date.”

“Ew, don’t call it a date, Dad.”

You burst out laughing. You’d miss your boys over the next week.

//

“Dad, can we do the pottery thing another time, Brandon invited me to go to the skate park tomorrow.” Andy says to Harry the night before they’re supposed to go to the pottery place.

“Oh, well, you can go skateboarding with him any time, can’t you? Or even afterwards?”

“Why can’t we just go paint another day?”

“I was sort of looking forward to spending the time with you.” Harry frowns. “We haven’t done much just the two of us in a while.”

“That’s because you spend all your free time with Y/N.” Andy smirks and sits down on the couch with Harry.

“Not true, we do stuff as the three of us. I feel like you like spending time with her more than me.”

“That’s not true! I guess I can go skateboarding with B another day.”

“I don’t wanna go tomorrow if it’s gonna be a force for you.”

“It won’t be. It’ll be fun.” He looks at Harry. “She’s only been gone two days, you know?”

“I’m aware.”

“So, she’ll be back in another three. It’ll go by quick.”

“I just feel bad that she has to go right from the airport to our faculty meeting.” He sighs. “But I suppose it’s all going to work out perfectly.”

“Yeah, she’s gonna be really surprised.”

//

Spending a week in California was amazing. You felt like your old independent self. It was nice to explore in the evenings, and you got a lot out of the sessions you attended. You had a ton of new ideas for your classes and for your paper. You spoke to Harry when you could. The three hour time difference was much more manageable than the six hour one like when he was in London.

You were happy with the tan you managed to get out there, and did your best to sleep on the plane home so you weren’t totally exhausted. You take the bus back to town, and load your things up in your car and drive over to the university. You managed to freshen up at the airport, and you texted Harry updates so he knew when to expect you. What you refrained from telling him was that you were going to stop by your office quickly just to open it up and let it get some fresh air from the window. You also needed to grab your spare laptop charger.

There was something you liked about the quiet before the semester started. It was like the calm before an incredible storm. You were feeling extremely prepared for this semester. It would be your third year teaching at the university, and you were feeling really good about it. You key into your office and set something down.

“Well, if it isn’t my not so new neighbor.”

“Jesus!” You nearly jump out of your shoes. Even though you knew Harry’s voice well, he still found ways to scare the shit out of you. You sigh and turn around. “And to think I was…excited…to…see…you…” Your eyes widen when you see him down on one knee with a small velvet box in one hand, and a shit eating grin on his face. “How…how did you know I’d come here first?” Your eyes start to water.

“Because I know you very well, come here.” You step towards him and take his free hand in yours. You were shaking. “Are you gonna be okay?” You nod your head yes. “Good, because we don’t have a ton of time before our meeting.” You chuckle slightly at that. “Still excited to see me?”

“Yes.” You whisper.

“Do you know what’s in this little box?”

“I have an idea.”

“I truthfully never thought I’d be buying another one of these for someone. I…I didn’t think I deserved to have someone love me the way that you do, but I know now that I do. Sometimes I’d wonder why things didn’t work out the way I thought were supposed to, but I realized that everything I went through was just part of my journey to you, Y/N.” You cough out a nervous giggle as you had tears running down your cheeks. “I was trying to think of the perfect moment or place for this, and nothing felt better than the place we first met and became friends. Plus, I knew you’d nearly shit yourself.” He smirks and you shake your head. “So, with all that being said, and may I remind you I don’t care about how long we’re engaged for because I know your doctorate comes first…will you marry me?” He opens the small box and you gasp at the ring. It was stunning, beyond stunning.

“Yes, oh my god, yes!” Your hand was shaking terribly, but he manages to slip the ring on.

He stands up and swings you around in his arms. He slots his mouth over yours, and you almost forget where you are until you hear a bottle pop.

“Woo! Congratulations!” Janette says with a freshly opened bottle of champagne. Lisa, Mateo, Lucas, Andre, and Sandra all come out as well. “You should have seen your face, Y/N.” She chuckles.

“You guys!” You laugh and go to hug your colleagues. “You all knew?”

“All Harry said was that we should wait upstairs and to bring champagne, we just assumed.” Lisa says as she holds out some cups for Janette to pour the champagne in.

“Where’s Andy?” You ask him as you take a sip.

“At Brandon’s.”

“Did he know?”

“What are you, new? Who do you think helped me design the ring?” He smirks and nudge his shoulder. “We’ll celebrate with him tonight when we get back from dinner, there’s an ice cream cake in the freezer just waiting to be eaten.”

You all chat about the excitement before you need to actually go through the things you needed to in your faculty meeting. It was hard to concentrate, though. You wanted to call your parents, your brother, your friends; everyone! Not to mention the ring itself was distracting. You weren’t expecting something quite so…large. Then again, Harry was the gaudy ring type, so it shouldn’t be that surprising that he went all out.

“You two should go home to be with Andy to celebrate.” Lisa says. “We can all go down to the pub another time.”

“No, it’s alright, he’ll probably be annoyed if we pick him up too early from his friend’s.” Harry says.

“I actually wouldn’t mind going home...had a six hour flight earlier, you know?”

“Shit, you’re right. No one minds waiting a few days?”

“Not at all.” Janette says. “Let’s just all meet up Friday, it’ll be more fun.”

You drive separately back to the house, and Harry helps you get your things inside. You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him. You suck on his bottom lip and he moans into you.

“This is why you wanted to come back, huh?” He smirks.

“You’re not the only one that’s good at being sneaky.”

You couldn’t feel luckier than you do now, to be engaged to the absolute love of your life.  

[schrijverr]

Surprise Hit

On a con Eliot is recognized by someone who has a hit on him and has to run.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: mentions of some mafia dealings

~~~~~~~~~~~

The con went to shit.

This happened often enough with a mark not making the expected choice, a firewall taking longer to crack than anticipated or someone showing up that was not supposed to. It was normal, however the way it went to shit this time was unique. “Nate, I got a problem,” Eliot announced.

“What is it?” Nate asked over the coms. It was an integral part of the plan that Eliot talked to their mark, John Fernsby, and convinced him to meet with Sophie. Nate would have done it, but he had already been the one to go in and convince the billionaire that thebusiness was worth investing in and Hardison was needed to help Parker into the safe. It had to be Eliot.

But Eliot said there was a problem, which was bad. However, it was about to get worse when Eliot answered: “He’s talking with a foreign dignitary, but I know he isn’t. That’s Mikhail Volkov, Russian mob. He has a hit out on me.”

“The fuck, man,” Hardison replied.

“I didn’t pick it either, okay,” Eliot hissed back. “But if he sees me, we’re fucked. Well, I’m fucked and someone has to take my part in the con.”

Hardison had pulled up the camera feed of the gala and watched how Eliot turned away from the mark and tried to leave them room without pulling any attention to himself. He almost managed too, were it not for a serenade band coming in right as he was near the exit.

It was such a stupid little thing that they couldn't have predicted and it was so incredibly ill-timed that Eliot had no room to come up with something. Mikhail turned to the band and saw Eliot, his brow furrowed and he yelled: “Stop that man!” as Eliot started to sprint, multiple people now on his trail.

He pushed over furniture behind him and swerved while a few bullets started to fly around his head, dangerously close. In his ear Hardison was giving him directions to Lucille, but he knew he could not return to the team. Not right now.

The Russian mob was not known for their leniency and if they thought he had people he worked with, then they would only target them as well. No, he had to go into hiding on his own and return to them later, when he could shake off his pursuers. In his ear he heard Hardison rant at him as he took the wrong turn, but Eliot didn’t care. He had a plan.

On the street it was easier to disappear, though he got many looks from people as they cleared the way for him while he ran like a madman. There were a few screams when the Russians appeared behind him with guns.

If it were a normal day and he was on his own, he would have stayed to fight them, but he was wearing a suit he couldn't easily fight in and Sophie and Parker had still been in the building, he couldn't risk them for something stupid he’d done in the past. And when he was outside, he didn’t have the surprise advantage or the closeness to take on that many guys with guns.

So, he ran.

His lungs were burning in his chest and his legs would be jelly were it not for the fact that he regularly ran long tracks in case he got in this exact situation.

It took a while, but the bullets stopped flying around his head and he couldn't hear any footsteps behind him anymore. He took a moment to focus on the chatter over the coms. His brain hadn’t heardany of the key words to get his attention in the background, so he assumed it was all fine.

“Eliot, Eliot, are you listening to me?” That was Nate.

“I’m here,” he grunted, checking in the alley if there was anyone still following, before starting to climb the fire escape.

“What are you doing? Hardison’s GPS says you’re nowhere near the hotel. We need to regroup and figure out our next move,” Nate said as Sophie asked: “Are you okay, Eliot?”

He replied: “I’m fine, Sophie. Just didn’t want to lead a group of armed mobster to our hotel room when their goal is to kill me and all my associates.”

“They’re coming to kill us?” Hardison’s squeaky voice came through the speaker.

“Not if they don’t know I’m with you,” Eliot assured him, “which is why I’m not at the hotel right now. I think I’ve shaken them off, but just in case I’m taking a long way round. Probably won’t come through the doors.”

Thenhe tuned them out again. It might be rude and he heard they were still asking him all sorts of questions, but he wasn’t in the mood to answer. He had other things to focus on and the last thing he wanted was to tell them why there was a hit on his head from this particular mobster.

Going through the city over the roof, he saw a few familiar stances and haircuts stationed at public places where he would hide, as well as at the hotels and he knew he had made the right decision to take this route.

Mentally he was trying to figure out why Mikhail was here of all places talking with their mark. It could be that he was laundering money and their mark having a connection with the mob could both help and be an issue. He could get into witness protection in turn for information, but it was also proof that his business wasn’t clean, even if they had wanted to get him for the stealing of company funds that screwed over his employees’ safety.

But that was not his business to think about, but Nate’s. He would wait for what the man had to say about this development, but in order to do that, he needed to get back to the hotel.

There were also “guards” at the entrance of their hotel, but the team was only on the fourth floor and while they weren’t close to the fire escape, Eliot could get up high and then go side wards over the ridge to their window.

He gave Hardison a heart attack when he got at the window. They hadn’t left it open, much to his chagrin, but were luckily there to open it for him and it was better not to have a weakness in the defense, so he couldn't blame them.

“What the hell, man,” Hardison said. “Give someone a warning before you go around showing up in front of the window. Did you even have safety or something? We’re up high. You could have fallen to your death, Eliot.”

“Yeah and if I had gone through the front door, I would have been shot,” he pointed out tiredly from where he was lying on the floor.

Parker was looking out the window and smiled: “Oeh, that’s a good climbing ridge indeed.”

“Woman!” Hardison exclaimed, while Eliot said: “We could do without the attention to our room, Parker, maybe next time.” She looked sad and glanced over one more time, before closing the window with a pout.

“Care to explain what happened?” Nate asked as he leaned over him. He did that face where he attempted innocence, but failed.

“Got recognized by someone who’s sort of actively trying to kill me,” Eliot replied with what they already knew.

“Sort of actively?” Sophie asked and Eliot was glad he could explain something not that bad to them instead of the other stuff. “Yeah, there’s a difference between saying, ‘hey if you manage to kill this person and prove it you get money,’ and ‘I am hiring you to kill this person within a time frame.’ Mikhail is the former. If I die, he would be happy, but he’s not putting extra resources in finding me and eliminating me.”

“And why would be be happy if you’re dead?” Fucking Nate always sticking his nose everywhere.

“I met him once,” Eliot wasn’t giving him shit.

“Would I be correct in assuming that the meeting ended in a loss on his end?” Nate replied.

“Maybe.” He was neither confirming or denying, not if there was no explicit reason. He hadn’t felt bad about the blow to Mikhail’s organization. It hadn’t been the worst he’d done and Mikhail had a smuggling ring of sex workers and that had been awful to find.

“Okay, so we know Fernsby has connections to the Russian mob,” Nate thought out loud. “So, he’s not only stealing money from his employees, but laundering dirty money as well. If we can tie those together then we’re set.”

“Mikhail has a weakness for brunettes,” Eliot informed him, not telling him how he got that tidbit of knowledge. “He also likes gambling.”

Nate got a glint in his eye as he looked to Sophie, who smiled back. Of course those two would have a plan without needing to communicate.

“You’re out for the rest of the con,” Nate told him. “Can’t have you risk the entire thing if you’re recognized.”

“What? No!” Eliot sat up. “I need to be there to have your back. With the Russians it’s only going to get more dangerous. I’m not leaving you to your fate with those people, they’re dangerous, Nate. This isn’t just some cushy billionaire anymore.”

“And what if he gets suspicious of Sophie because of you, what will you do then, Eliot?” Nate shot back. “I’m not saying you need to stay here, but I am saying you need to keep out of sight. You’re with Hardison in Lucille.”

Eliot wanted to protest, wanted to be closer to the danger in case it went to shit, he wanted to be there when a mistake from his past came back, but he couldn't argue with Nate’s logic and sometimes he hated that about the man.

So, he found himself watching the screens in Lucille as Sophie tried to get Mikhail to make a gamble on her company, to ditch Fernsby, because he was doing it without him and leaving him out of the profits.

He was filled with jittery energy, but so far so good.

“Hey, Eliot,” Hardison opened. “What’s it like, you know, to have a hit on your head? I mean, I’m wanted in some countries, but that’s just boring government stuff, not actual people, like persons, wanting me dead personally, you know.”

“Are you really asking me what it’s like when someone wants you killed?” Eliot asked him.

“I guess,” Hardison shrugged, trying not to look like he wanted to know the answer and failing miserably.

“It’s not that different from being wanted by the government, I suppose,” Eliot finally answered, surprising Hardison. “You just gotta watch out for different things and hope no one is desperate enough for cash to go after you. I have a good enough reputation that hardly anyone tries, but I’ve had periods where I had multiple people on my trail across a dozen countries. It was exhausting, but I get it. Kill me and you can make a lot of people with a lot of money happy.”

“Wait, hold on, reverse and repeat,” Hardison said. “A lot of people?”

“Yeah,” Eliot replied, didn’t Hardison know this? “I got more than one hit on my head. I think it’s five. Used to be six, but one of them died and the bounty fell through. Though I never knew if that one English guy put one on my head as well. And of course, the countries, but those are always lazy about it, so I don’t worrry too much about those.”

“What the fuck, man.”

Eliot didn’t see the big deal. He had done a lot to deserve it and he had learned to live with it. He hadalways kept one eye open anyway.

He focused back on the screen, despite the hiccup earlier with him, the con ran smoothly on its new course and Sophie was phenomenal as he pitted the two guys against one another, making them sell each other out in the end.

Nate was there with the police and both were arrested with illegal cash on their hands and a lot of bank records detailing their dirty schemes as well as showing the abysmal circumstances of the workers that had gone unaddressed in favor of laundering money.

Later when they were sitting in the bar, Nate turned to him and asked: “Any more of that we should be worried about?”

Before Eliot could answer, Hardison had jumped in: “Apparently between five and six more times.”

“No, between four and five,” Eliot corrected. “Mikhail is no longer on the list, but honestly we couldn't have predicted this and there are too many bad guys I’ve known, double crossed, worked for or left that are still out there. We can’t account for all of them. I’ll try to be aware of which marks could have ties to other’s I’ve known, but you don’t get to be good in my line of work without enemies.”

Nate wanted to say something else, but Sophie was quicker. “I’m not keeping track of all the people I have grifted either, Nate,” she said. “We all have a past and you’re not harping me about that or Parker on all she’s stolen. Just because Eliot’s past is a bit different, doesn’t mean we can treat it differently in our team.”

Eliot didn’t fully agree with the comparison. His enemies we’re not the same and one of them coming back would be worse than it was for others.

Still, he couldn't bring himself to disagree with her. Not right now.

He thought of all the people he killed, all the families he’d left behind with one member less. He thought of Moreau and the horrible things he’d done for that man. He thought of the US Army that had turned him into a killer and set him loose on foreign soil for the first time.

And he thought of his team. Of how glad he was he knew them and how they made him better and didn’t force him to be a person he hated. How much they meant to him and how badly he didn’t want to loose that.

So he stayed quiet and let Sophie defend him, hoping his past would not come back like that again.

~~

A/N:

Sorry that the con is kinda vague, I only had the ‘the mark/someone there has a hit on Eliot and he needs to run’ and no clear plan on running the con in the background. Hope it was still enjoyable :D

[vickyvicarious]

Parker: "Teach me to like stuff."

.

Okay, so. I have some thoughts about The French Connection Job's Parker+Eliot subplot. And I think I wanna approach it separately, scene by scene from each of their perspectives, because we have a couple different things going on here. It's still a little more of a Parker meta than an Eliot meta, but I have enough to talk about on both sides, and they're connected enough not to be in separate metas, that I am going to do it this way.

Also going to put this under a cut because it gets long.

Parker

This whole subplot comes on the heels of the last episode, in which there was a lot of banter throughout about Hardison and Parker's dates, and him wanting to branch out into other things than just bungee jumping or whatever. We have seen hints of this throughout S5 so far, even though we're only a few episodes in at this point. They went on a world tour that was pretty much just jumping off of stuff, Hardison said something about them figuring things out. We saw a cute domestic scene of the aftermath of them watching a movie together, except Parker 'fell asleep again' and missed most of it, and Hardison eventually went off to work on his laptop. Parker tried to comfort him last episode about dust mites and ended up freaking him out instead. She talked about how she liked fire and Hardison complained she was missing the point of his offer for a candlelit picnic. They did end on a very romantic note with her still making the effort to make it happen but getting rained out, and him recognizing her effort and listening to him, and projecting the stars around the dark room then having the picnic inside. They are clearly very happy together and both making the effort to meet in the middle, but there are still some disconnects. Which makes sense this early on anyway, but it's not out of place for Parker to start getting worried about her limited interests here given the context of them contrasting Hardison's more widespread interests.

Starting right off the bat - there's a picture limit so I can't show these early moments, but throughout the first part of the episode we see Parker looking visibly upset/pensive. Hardison notices and asks her what's wrong, but is immediately distracted by his package arriving, and then the team gets into the briefing and he doesn't get to talk to her again. (Sidenote that this is pretty OOC for Hardison, and I have to assume he would at the very least come back to her later, but they were clearly trying to get Parker talking with someone else this episode and apparently couldn't come up with a better way to do it. His writing outside of the kitchen stuff was kinda off this whole episode anyway, what with the whole tip thing.) She was about to open up to him, however, which is important. There's also a scene shortly afterwards where she confides in Nate, again after he notices her being upset and asks what's bothering her. She claims everyone but her has 'a thing', and names a few of them. He asks her what she thinks when she sees Michelangelo's David, and when her answer is an immediate assessment of how it's guarded and what she'd have to do to steal it, he kind of hesitates and then goes right back to running the con. He basically gives up on helping her with this once it becomes clear that a quick sentence or two isn't gonna cut it.

So after those brief, unhelpful conversations, that's when she makes a move. She was responding to others before, but this time she comes up to Eliot, clearly nervous. And she asks him to help her feel something.

(I find it very interesting that she doesn't ask Sophie. Sophie is the person who she would usually go to for something like this, after all. But, aside from this being an Eliot-centric episode and just like them sidelining Hardison's possible assistance earlier the writers want Parker to talk with Eliot not Sophie, I think there are maybe a couple reasons why she might go to him here. First, just distance. Eliot is right downstairs, meanwhile at the moment Sophie is however far across town at her theater. Certainly not saying she wouldn't go to Sophie eventually, but maybe that's why not first. Second, she and Eliot have an understanding, one that's been explicitly acknowledged since the start of S4. They are similar in a way entirely unlike the rest of the crew. So while Sophie may understand emotions best, Eliot is the one most likely to know what Parker is talking about when she says she just isn't feeling anything. Which by the way I'm gonna get more into later on. Thirdly they're in love but that's not actually relevant here since all of the team love one another.)

Eliot

On Eliot's side, she approaches him when he's busy in the kitchen. This whole job is stirring up a lot of old feelings in him right from the start. Toby was someone who 'kept him from falling all the way down', and Eliot is deeply concerned for him. At the same time, the way they are running this con is allowing Eliot to take on the role of teacher. Even though his students aren't anything like the eager students Toby has just had taken away from him, Eliot wants so badly to take advantage of this opportunity to teach them - maybe even all the more because they're resistant. He's being given a very rare opportunity to indulge his belief that food is life and to share it on a larger scale. To use the knife to create, not just destroy. Leverage often walks a line between doing both (taking down the bad guys and helping people) but Eliot doesn't often just straight up get to just do the 'creating' part. (I mean, he loves the destruction too, he genuinely loves beating people up and taking down bad guys, but this is a rarer pleasure.) So he's pretty preoccupied with that at first, and initially dismisses Parker just like the other two guys did.

But when she just looks quietly disappointed at his response, he goes still and watches her. We cut away from them here so we don't see his actual response, but it's immediately clear that he's realizing this is actually something deeply important to Parker, and well worth his time.

On to the next part of this scene below.

.

[Eliot sets a dish down in front of Parker]

Parker: "...It's just food."

Eliot: "It's not just food! Alright, some people could look at it and just see food, but not me. I see art. When I'm in the kitchen I'm, I'm creating something outta nothing, you know what I mean? And sometimes I crush it, sometimes it's crap, but either way - it makes me feel something."

Parker: "Feel what?"

Eliot: "Just... feel."

Parker: [murmuring] "Feel... okay." [looks down at the food and hesitates]

Eliot: "You know, I didn't feel anything for a long time. Then Toby taught me how to cook, and after he did, I started to feel stuff again. That's why I share it through my food - this is my art. This is my art, Parker." [Parker nods, looking worried] "It's like lettin' a stranger in your head, just for a second. And you allow them to feel what you're feeling." [pause] "Look again." [he pushes the plate a little closer to her. Parker takes a deep breath and slowly sets her elbows down on the counter as she stares down at the plate. Eliot watches her closely.]

Parker

At this point I want to talk a little about what Parker means when she says "feel something" and talks about "having a thing." Because we've seen her have interests outside of straightforward thievery before. Sure, most of her hobbies revolves around stealing - casing local banks for fun, for example. But she clearly has a deep love for Christmas and for chocolate. So why doesn't she count those kinds of things as 'feeling something'?

I think it comes down to what Eliot's talking about here. It's a sense of art. Not even necessarily making it yourself, although that certainly applies. Parker likes sweet things like chocolate and donuts, but although she really really likes them they don't make her feel any truly deep emotion. It's more tactile than anything else, just a pleasant flavor. Her love of Christmas isn't the same either in her eyes because it's not uniquely hers. It's something she loves to celebrate but she can't do so all year round, and plenty of other people like Christmas too. This one comes a lot closer, because it definitely seems to be tied up more in community and family for her than something like enjoying chocolate and piñatas, but it still doesn't belong to her in the same way that cooking does to Eliot or theater does to Sophie. And while theoretically her love of base jumping and so on could maybe count, it is still so tied up in her thieving that it doesn't feel separate. She's really good at drawing but only thinks of it as a useful skill, not a creative outlet - this is similar to that.

She has been branching out into a lot of new experiences and emotions lately, and while she's struck out deep into uncharted waters with her relationship with Hardison, once there she's only seeing more and more things that she just... doesn't get. She loves spending time with him, and enjoys what they do together, but she doesn't understand all of those things. Not on a deeper level. She wants to feel that sense of connection to something, wants to feel deeply emotionally moved by something.

And honestly? I think she's way up in her head about it. I'm not trying to dismiss her struggle here at all, but I do think she is stressing herself out about having something uniquely her own. About having a huge interest that speaks so strongly to her personally. And those are amazing to have, but it's really not necessary. She doesn't need a strong secondary passion so much as she needs to let go of trying so hard to force herself into something.

And what's happening in this scene in particular is that Parker is trying so so hard to force herself to feel something. It's evident in her face throughout the whole scene, in her body language. And she is so terrified that it's not going to work that honestly, I'm not surprised at all that it doesn't.

Eliot

On Eliot's side of this scene, he feels like he recognizes where Parker is. This entire job has him remembering how it was to feel nothing. Her phrasing got to him deeply. He wants to reach out and teach her to see something more, just like Toby taught him.

He knew a bit about how to cook before Toby. But it was only seeing Toby's passion that struck something in him, that awoke a part of himself he might've never known before. For Eliot specifically, cooking being an art isn't just something he likes. It's something that brings him hope.

Eliot doesn't believe in redemption. But he believes in actions. And what Toby did, by teaching him to cook, was to teach him that his actions can be good. That he can create, not just destroy. That all is not lost - not 'for' him necessarily, so much as 'in' him. There is a deep empty place inside himself that he can enter so so easily. The difficulty is crawling back out again. Cooking was his rope out of there. He still finds it difficult to express his emotions very often, particularly verbally, but when he makes someone a meal he puts a part of himself into it. And yet doing so doesn't take anything from him, it just adds more.

This is all very vague and figurative and may make no sense, but the takeaway I want to have is that Eliot is opening up to Parker on a very deep level here. He feels like he recognizes what she's talking about, and it was a very bad place for him. (Again, I don't think she is quite that badly off at this point in canon, but I digress.) And while making food allows him to feel that he is demonstrating his love for someone, that he is sharing a part of himself with them, he recognizes that she isn't receiving that. What she's getting, is just a plate of food. Tasty food maybe, but nothing more than that. And so Eliot verbalizes everything to her in a way he rarely does.

And then he keeps trying. This scene obviously doesn't end up making her feel something, and we don't get to see the immediate aftermath of that, but we can glean a little about how they feel based on their reactions. And Eliot is deeply determined to help Parker feel something from his food. He insists that she play the food critic; even speaks directly to her and reminds her to consider what they talked about.

.

In the restaurant, we start out with Parker dutifully playing her role but feeling nothing much beyond just the role. Eliot checks in with Parker, she acknowledges that the food is good but doesn't make her feel anything, and he makes improvements based on her feedback. Then something abruptly changes.

Parker: "I can taste garlic, and mushrooms... and something else that makes me feel different."

Hardison: "Wait, was that for me, cause I-I don't get it."

Parker: "No, it's the food. I get it." [smiles] "I feel something."

+

Parker: "Mmm! These black noodles are amazing!

Eliot: "Parker, it's tagliolini nero con gamberi."

Parker: "Mmm." [eats a huge forkful] "Mmm. Mmmm. These are really good."

Parker

What just happened here? Last we saw from Parker, she'd failed to feel something from the meal Eliot made especially for her in the brewpub, and she was clearly disheartened. She felt it as a failure, very much in the sense of a disappointment. She didn't want to try again, didn't think it would work, and tried to protest when Eliot said she would be the food critic. Even once she got to the restaurant, nothing was happening for her.

The difference wasn't in the flavor of the food. The moment Parker started to feel something was right after she said she felt nothing and Eliot, instead of being disappointed or giving up, took it as a challenge. He changed his recipe, he improved it specifically to better reach out to her. He kept trying.

And yeah, maybe the bone broth helped it taste better. But that wasn't the point, not really. The point is that Parker had gotten herself stuck in a hole, trapped herself in this cycle of not understanding how things make you feel and then believing that she just couldn't. She wanted something of her own and she didn't have it and she didn't immediately get anyone else's thing either, and that was it. She just wasn't capable. She was other. This is an old old fear of Parkers, dating back to Archie or even before. Something in her just isn't capable of being like other people. She wasn't worthy of being in Archie's real family, and she's not able to feel passion for anything outside of stealing. (Setting aside the fact that she loves her team, that all she needed was the right family. That you don't have to be a creator to feel passion, and you don't need to be passionate about any particular thing in order to feel deeply and find beauty in the world.) Parker has empathized deeply with people, has felt so intensely before and is constantly trying to learn more and new ways to be. But because she is noticing her teams' passions now, she has this ideal that she wants to reach, and none of that is good enough for her. She doesn't even know exactly what her ideal involves, but she can't get to it.

But when Eliot doesn't give up, that gets to her. If he views his food as sharing himself with others, Parker finally gets what he's been trying to give all along. It's all about him trying again and again, changing his approach to match her better. That's what she feels, that's what she enjoys.

And once she starts, the floodgates open. She loves the black noodles. She is so happy, she is relieved. There was this huge resistance that she couldn't get past before, but Eliot persisting helped her to break past that and now that she is out of her head about it she can enjoy the food in a way she never has before. Because she feels his love for her in it.

Eliot

Eliot is trying so hard to connect to Parker. It's not really different from what I said in the last Eliot section, and basically the same as what I just said in that Parker section, but I want to emphasize a little more just how much this is about love on his end.

Eliot loves Parker. He loves her, and he wants so much to help her. It doesn't honestly matter that he does this with food, except for the fact that food is what matters so deeply to Eliot himself. He can't reach out to her in the same way through any other medium. And we don't get to see his reaction to Parker's moment of realization. But I think it would be such a deep sense of joy. This is as fulfilling for Eliot as it is for Parker. It's exactly what Eliot has been hoping for this whole episode, to teach someone else to see food in the same way he does. It doesn't matter if it only lasts for a moment or a single meal. That's enough. He has been the support Parker needed through this time of self-doubt. And it is all the more meaningful to him because this isn't just a random student, this is Parker.

He told her he loves her through his food, again and again, and she eventually felt it. She understood. That must mean so much to him.

.

I wanna end with one more brief note on Parker. Does she get her own "thing" this episode? No. No she does not, and this scene shows us that. Parker is not suddenly interested in food or cooking. The importance of that meal was purely derived from Eliot on the other end of it, focused on her and trying his best to reach out to her.

And I don't think this is something only Eliot could have done for her either, not really. The difference between him and the others this episode is mostly in persistence. However, it's also about her mentality. Hardison has built/done things for Parker before and she felt them just as deeply - but the context was different. She wasn't looking for a sense of beauty or art in the world at large then, and so even though she felt the love in the gift just as much, it didn't make her feel like she could find that kind of emotion in other things. She just wasn't looking for it. Also, it was made easier for Eliot to reach out because there's that connection Parker has with him, that understanding that they are on the same level somehow. She doesn't feel that with Hardison - and she loves him all the more for him being different from her, but he also I think can intimidate her with how good and open he is, with how much he can feel in so many different directions. It's part of why she got so worried about herself not being able to do so this episode.

Like, the team has scolded Nate for not having a life or interests of his own outside the job not too terribly long ago! And Parker has had her own joys before! But she isn't seeing that this episode, too caught up in this fear about not having her own 'thing', not feeling anything that way. So while anyone could have helped her through this, it was easiest for her to let Eliot do so + for him to understand what she needed from him. (Hardison in particular was rudely robbed the opportunity, but they all love and support her and could have reached her. Not to detract from Eliot doing so, but also I don't wanna sound like no other method of reaching out would've worked.)

But as soon as she feels something once with Eliot's help, that relaxes those fears. And then Parker is free to look in other places. She remembers Nate's comment about art, and maybe even tells him what she plans based on him knowing where she is at the end of the episode. And then she goes to visit this statue. In her own way which means breaking in, but without any goal of taking it. She just goes to look at the art. And she feels something again.

Parker doesn't gain some big passion at the end of this episode. She doesn't need to. She never did. She just learns how to let herself relax from that restrictive frame of mind. To simply be in the moment and enjoy things for the sake of what they are. To feel - not really in any way she was incapable of before, but intentionally now. It's a quiet victory, in the end. It doesn't mean she's going to get a new hobby or change her lifestyle at all really. But she's let go of a fear and is now intentionally seeking out new connections with the world beyond her once-limited parameters.

[annabethy]

under the mistletoe, watching the fire glow day 23: toy stores

Character A owns a struggling toy store, and Character B is looking for a toy,, percabeth

Annabeth’s stares up at the toy store’s sign that appears to be falling apart before her eyes. It gives her an eerie feeling, looking up at a sign with glowing letters that are crooked and dull.

“Mommy?”

She glances down at her daughter beside her, who is tugging on the sleeve of her sweater. “Yes, baby?”

The three-year-old slides her hand into her mother’s, and Annabeth holds onto the tiny fingers tightly. “Can we get toys now?”

Annabeth smiles gently, tugging her daughter along lightly. The doors to the store creak open, a small bell chiming overhead. The store seems to be empty save for an old couple wandering the aisles with a cart that is peeling grey paint.

She stands in place as she looks around, entirely unsure of where to start. Annabeth hadn’t wanted to come here to begin with, much preferring to stick to more known stores like Target, but Sophia has gained much more insight to the world and began pointing out the store each time they passed by. When she’d begged to stop at a real toy store so she could pick out a new toy, Annabeth hadn’t known how to say no.

“Go on,” Annabeth encourages softly, letting go of her hand. Sophia wastes no time, immediately beginning to run as fast as her tiny legs will let her, which isn’t very fast at all. It helps Annabeth a lot, actually, because it’s already becoming much harder to chase after her, even only at three months pregnant.

Annabeth watches fondly as her daughter is fascinated by the wall of Barbies they have. They’re all basic enough in her opinion, and cheap enough for her to afford at least two of them, so Annabeth lets her daughter run her fingers over the boxes, cooing at each and every one.

“Pick two, baby,” Annabeth tells her, looking around the rest of the shop. Even the inside doesn’t appear to be in great shape. The lighting is rather dim, and it’s incredibly echoey – she can hear each footstep resonate, and her daughter’s excited chatters are loud in the empty vicinity.

Annabeth leans against the aisle as she watches, her hand moving up unconsciously to rest against her stomach. She tries not to think too much of it, but it’s gotten worse now, knowing that she’s alone, and going to be raising two kids on her own. She doesn’t know how she got into this position, but it’s too late to do anything except keep moving.

“Is there anything I can help you with?”

She glances to her right, startled, where there is a man looking at her kindly. He has a plain black t-shirt on that shows his arms that her eyes linger on just a bit longer than intended. She looks back to his face where he has a gentle smile on. His nametag reads, Percy.

“We’re just looking,” she replies, a soft grin back to him.

“Anything in particular?”

Annabeth’s eyes dart down to the four boxes of Barbies her daughter has pulled off the shelves.

“I’ll take a wild guess and say Barbies?” Percy asks. “It seems so,” Annabeth says, laughing.

“Well, I’m afraid this is all we have on that then,” he says, moving towards Annabeth’s side. “We aren’t the most advanced toy store there is,” he says more quietly, for Annabeth to hear. “But from the look on your face, you already know that.”

She blinks, a slight blush forming on her cheeks. Had she been that transparent? “It’s… fine.”

He laughs sweetly. “I know it’s practically falling apart. Sometimes I have to close by myself, and I get scared one of these dolls are actually cursed and going to kill me in my sleep.”

“Like Annabelle?”

“Exactly,” he says, giving her daughter a humored look when she holds up a fifth doll to Annabeth’s sight. “This is your daughter?”

She’s a bit surprised at how chatty the store worker is. He seems too polite to be working in such a rundown place, and it almost makes her feel bad.

“She is,” Annabeth answers after a short pause. “She’s only three, but she’s expensive.”

“I know what you mean. I have a daughter at home too, and I never knew how expensive kids were before I had her. It feels like they’re demanding a new toy every two seconds.”

A sixth toy is shoved into Annabeth’s hands by her daughter, and she waves it in front of him. “You mean like this?”

“Seems about right,” he replies, laughing. “Are you shopping for any special occasions?”

She shakes her head, biting her lower lip. “She just wanted to come look around, and I ran out of ways to tell her no.”

“It’s always hard to say no,” he agrees. Annabeth looks at him again and catches his bright green eyes. It’s the first true look she gets of him, and she has to admit she’s not disappointed with what she sees.

“So when are you due?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re pregnant,” he comments. When she looks at him questioningly, and a bit daringly, he smiles. “You keep touching your stomach.”

She drops her hand and chuckles. “I didn’t even realize.”

“My wife used to do that all the time,” he says. The word wife makes something in her drop, but she doesn’t quite know why. She hadn’t even realized how much she liked talking to him until then. “I’m sure your husband has picked up on little quirks like that.”

“Oh, there’s no husband,” she starts, laughing lightly. “Divorced was finalized a few weeks before I found out I was pregnant.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be. I think it’s cute that you notice stuff like that about your wife.”

“It would be cuter if we were still together,” he says.

Annabeth nods, lips tugging upwards. “So we both know the pains of divorce and fighting for custody.”

“And the pains of sleeping alone,” he adds. “It’s a different feeling, I’ll admit.”

“Try having a baby on the way and no husband,” she says. “It’s that icy type of fear – the one that freezes you over because you have no idea what you’re doing.”

“Yeah, but you seem like you’ll be okay.”

He’s looking at her with such warmth and kindness, and it feels weird to say, but this might be the most comfortable she’s felt in months. They fall into a silence, and she lets herself just take in his presence – it’s familiar in an unfamiliar way. She doesn’t know if it’s just having someone else close to her, or feeling protected, but she doesn’t care because she feels safe with him by her side.

“I want these,” her daughter says, placing a last box by her feet. It makes Annabeth feel a bit lightheaded because she knows there’s no way she’ll be able to afford all of those, and this trip is going to end with a tantrum.

“I said two,” Annabeth reminds her. “Pick two and put the rest back.”

“But I want them!”

Annabeth sighs, scrunching her nose at the feeling of an oncoming headache. “Mommy can’t buy all of them.”

“Why not?” she asks accusingly.

“These are expensive, baby.”

“But you go to work all the time for money!”

It makes Annabeth’s heart sore, because there’s no way for her to explain that the money she makes from work goes towards everything else. She’s barely making the weekly payments on her apartment, or the water and electricity bills, and she just can’t afford everything her daughter wants. But she can see the tears brimming in Sophie’s eyes, and suddenly she wants to cry too because she’s doing everything she can, and it’s still not enough, and it won’t be in six months either when she suddenly has another child to take care of.

“Put them back, Sophie.”

She whines.

“Please put some of them back, and maybe Santa Claus can bring you more in a few weeks.”

Sophia doesn’t budge, and Annabeth knows it’s going to take herself putting them back on the shelves. Percy respectfully wanders off back into the store somewhere out of sight as Annabeth begins to shove them back on the shelf. She lets Sophia hold on tightly onto two of them as she begins crying and is forced to pick her up and carry her over to pay.

Annabeth waits by the counter for a good few minutes before Percy reappears. He’s pushing a cart suspiciously in front of him that he sets by the counter.

“These are the best toys we have!” he tells Sophia, coaxing them from her hands so he can scan them. “You did a good job choosing.”

“I wanted more,” she whimpers as Annabeth’s hand slides up and down her back soothingly.

“I know, but you have to leave some for Santa Claus to get you,” he whispers, handing the toys back to her after it’s scanned. “You’re a good girl, so I bet you’re going to get a ton of presents from him this year!”

Annabeth shoots him a dirty look, and it makes his eyes mirthful.

“That’ll be twenty-five dollars and forty-nine cents.”

She hands him a card from her back pocket, setting Sophia down. Her daughter seems to be in a slightly better mood by now, but she still wraps herself around her mother’s leg. She takes the card back, about to turn around and leave, but his hand wraps gently around her wrist.

“Is it alright if I walk you to your car?”

“May I ask what for?”

He glances to the shopping cart he placed by the counter, and she has a vague feeling of what’s in there.

“I’m compelled to say no,” she tells him, eyeing the cart.

“This place is closing in two months anyways, and it’ll all go to waste,” he tells her quietly. “Let me do this.”

“If there are five dolls in that cart, I swear to god.”

“There’s six, actually.”

She glares at him.

“You can save them as Christmas presents for her,” he says. “You have another baby on the way, and I can tell you’re struggling. I’m not trying to judge because believe me when I say I’ve been there, so let me help.”

She feels bad taking stuff from him that could easily add up to more than one-hundred dollars, but she also knows that even if Christmas is weeks away, she’s not going to be able to do much on her own. She has to figure out how to afford things for a newborn that are more necessary than a few Barbie’s that’ll be forgotten quickly enough anyways, but it breaks her heart thinking of Sophia waking up to a nearly bare Christmas tree, so she says, “Okay.”

He shoots her a grin, coming around the counter to grab the cart. He helps stuff them into the trunk of her car as Annabeth straps Sophia into her car seat. She turns the car on before stepping outside to speak to him alone.

“Are you sure you’re okay giving these to me?”

“Of course I am,” he says. “It would be sitting there for months otherwise.”

“Then thank you,” she says earnestly. “It means a lot.”

“Don’t worry about it. I wanted to do it.”

“Yeah, why is that?” she asks, smirking now. “I didn’t see you doing this for the old couple walking around.”

“You’re a lot cuter than the old couple,” he admits, fingers toying with the handle of the cart.

“So now I’m cute?”

“I’ve always had a thing for pregnant women,” he says.

Annabeth slaps his arm playfully. “So you actually do this for all the pregnant women?”

He winks. “Only the cute ones.”

“You don’t even know my name.”

“I was hoping you’d let me know that.”

She gives him a sly look. “Annabeth.”

“Now that I know your name, Annabeth, I was wondering if you’d like to go out to dinner.”

“Dinner?”

“Or we could take our girls to a toy store and let them run wild,” he suggests, “but I think both of our bank accounts would be wiped in that case.”

“Dinner sounds nice,” she agrees. He gives her his phone number, and for a moment, she imagines that life is perfect. She doesn’t know if it’s because she really does like him or because she’s been alone for what feels like forever, but she can see a future. They are together in a home, three girls around a fireplace, unwrapping toys, and Percy is sitting by her side, her wrapped in his arms. He places a kiss to her forehead, and she feels at home. It’s a fleeting image, but it makes her long.

She learns four years later on the anniversary of when they first met that maybe she really did see a glimpse of her future. There are three girls curled up on the couch, and they all love each other so much. Instead of unwrapping presents though, they are watching a Disney movie. Annabeth watches the kids with a smile on her face from the doorframe, turning her head up when she feels him slide his hands over her swollen stomach (courtesy of Percy). He gives her a sweet kiss.

She’s in love in a way she never thought possible, her heart is full, and everything is perfect.

[moldisgoodforyou]

lost time (chapter nine)

MASTERLIST

pairing: rafe cameron x oc

warning: cursing, drinking

wordcount: 4.4k 

That stung more than he expected, even though he’d heard it before - just not from her lips. He shot his response back quickly, too quickly, and regretted the words the second they left his mouth. “At least I don’t have to work two jobs just to pay for college.” 

Her face turned to stone as she felt the heat creeping up her neck, threatening to expose her embarrassment. Sophie gathered her things quickly, carelessly shoving them into her backpack, then paused before leaving to look him straight in the eye. “That’s fucking low, Rafe, even for you.” She said quietly. The words hung in the air between them as she turned sharply on her heel and strode calmly away, trying to beat the tears on the verge of spilling over her cheeks. 

Her watch vibrated on her wrist just as she stepped outside, hot tears welling up in her eyes. Thirty minutes. Timed perfectly. 

Rafe’s ears were ringing as he just sat there, frozen, and watched her pack her things and go. Once she was out of eyesight he blinked, finally coming to his senses, and scrambled after her. “Sophie, wait!” He called down the hall but she ignored him, letting the front door slam shut behind her. 

“Fuck.” He mumbled to himself, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. 

Colin was just heading down the stairs and paused as he saw Rafe, concerned. “You good, man?” Rafe just shook his head wordlessly as he stormed up the stairs past Colin, shutting himself in their room. 

The fight hit differently from usual - before, she had been able to fling insults back and forth with no hesitation, no consequence after. They knew they had their limits and kept it fairly impersonal. Now that Sophie actually knew Rafe, she felt guilty. 

Later that night, Sophie was still pissed off - but she was more concerned with the momentary flash of hurt on Rafe’s face after her insult. She knew better than to cross the line about his dad. His insult wasn’t any better, but it didn’t bother her as much as it would have had it come from someone else’s lips. Maybe it was his way of matching her hurt, just throwing darts until one stuck. She knew the feeling all too well, as it was her go-to response. Fight fire with fire, flames threatening to burn each other alive if they couldn’t find a balance soon enough. 

Putting up an invisible wall only works so well until the other person can see right through it. 

_

“I fucked up.” 

Sophie entered the room with that announcement, teary-eyed as she bit her shaky lip. 

Allie and Julia were both draped across the couch and sat up quickly, pausing the movie immediately. “Come here, babe, what’s wrong?” Julia frowned, patting the small space in between them on the futon. 

Sophie crossed the room and sat, pulling a pillow to her chest. “I just yelled at Rafe.” 

Allie let out a quiet oh and frowned. “I thought you were getting along.” 

“We were. But I just fucked it all up.” After a moment’s pause, she spoke again. “But he said some shit too!” She added hurriedly, as if it excused her behavior. 

Julia crossed her arms, wary. “Give us the rundown.” 

Sophie took a breath then explained the whole interaction in detail, clutching the pillow closer as she felt Allie and Julia’s disappointment from how she acted. “Soph…” Julia spoke softly, resting a comforting hand on her arm. Allie’s brow was furrowed, thinking of how exactly to respond. 

“I know.” Sophie huffed, frustrated. “I shouldn’t have -” 

“He seriously said that to you?” Allie cut her off. 

“Yeah, but. It didn’t sound like he meant it.” Sophie reasoned. “It was a pretty half-assed comeback.” 

“Still.” 

“Look, that was shitty, I’m not excusing that. He needs to apologize.” Julia shook her head. “But so do you.” 

“I know. I feel awful. I could just...I could tell that hurt.” Sophie murmured, frowning as she thought about the way Rafe’s face twisted in disappointment, then how he had forced his face to be impassive in his pride. “Fuck, I just ruined everything.”

Allie shook her head quickly and wrapped her arm around Sophie’s shoulders, squeezing for a moment. “You didn’t. I bet he feels guilty right now too, just. Think about it, go to bed and talk to him tomorrow.” 

Julia hugged Sophie too. “It’ll be alright, Soph.” 

Sophie closed her eyes for a moment, keeping her eyes trained forward as she spoke quietly. “I really care about him.” 

“We know. I think he knows too. It’ll work out.” Allie reassured her, Julia nodding in agreement.  

_

After their conversation, Sophie promptly changed into her pajamas and headed straight to bed, despite the fact it was only 8 o’clock. Her culpability weighed on her heart so much, she felt like she was going to be sick. 

At the ring of her phone around 10pm, Sophie was surprised to see Rafe’s contact light up her screen. She rarely kept photos for her contacts, but had allowed him to set his own photo with a goofy selfie after one of their study sessions. It made her laugh most every time she saw it, but now she just felt wracked with guilt. She waited until the last second to pick up, hesitant.

“Hello?” 

“Hey.” Rafe responded, his voice a little gravelly. “Can I see you? In person?” 

“Is that a good idea?” Sophie replied.  

He let out a tiny huff. “Yeah. I’d like to see you. Just - meet up with me in between Theta and Delt?” He asked, knowing they were only a couple blocks apart. 

“Okay.” She gave in, just like she knew she would. “See you soon.” She pulled on sweatpants and shoved her feet into Birkenstocks, giving herself a quick once over in the mirror to ensure her eyes weren’t still entirely red and puffy from crying earlier. When she was satisfied, she headed out the door, walking toward Delt. 

Rafe did the same, walking toward Theta with a sense of purpose. After he had dissected every single second of the moments before in his head, he was prepared to face her and apologize - anything if it got them back to normal. 

He smiled once he saw her from a distance and frowned when she didn’t return it, coming closer until they were close enough to talk.

“Hey.” 

She nodded, noticing his voice was a little rough, eyes a little red. “Hi.” 

He frowned, deeper. “Soph, I’m -”

“I’m sorry.” 

They spoke at the same time, matching apologetic looks on their faces. Sophie laughed quietly, breaking the tension. He relaxed just slightly but kept his hands stuffed in his pockets. 

“Sorry. I interrupted.” She urged him on. 

“Ah.” He paused, trying to form the right words in his head, then continued with conviction. “I fucked up, Soph, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, that’s nothing to be ashamed of and you work really hard, it’s really admirable and that’s -”

“Okay, okay, I’m not gonna make you grovel.” She teased and crossed her arms, shivering slightly. 

He took notice right away and shrugged off his jacket, stepped forward and tried wrapping it around her shoulders. “Here, take this.” Sophie resisted for a moment, batting his hands away, but he was insistent. “Stop, you’re gonna freeze.” 

She sighed, pretending to be annoyed, but gave in with a small smile. “Thank you. And I’m sorry, too. I crossed a line and I shouldn’t have.” 

Rafe nodded, not at all concerned with her apology and was just grateful she had accepted his. “It’s alright. Thanks.”

“You’re not a dick.” She continued. “I shouldn’t have...I just shouldn’t have said any of that. I came in acting like a bitch, I don’t know why.” 

“It’s fine, Soph - Sophie, I don’t care.” He corrected himself, unsure after their interaction earlier. 

“Soph is alright.” She smiled at the nickname and pulled his jacket closer around herself. 

 After a momentary pause, he awkwardly stuck out his hand for a handshake and she just laughed. “Don’t be stupid.” She stepped forward and slipped her arms around his waist. He was tense for a moment, then relaxed slightly, wrapping his arms around her and held her close for a beat. 

Sophie almost had to force herself to pull away, but kept her hands on his waist as she took a small step back. “Jesus, Rafe, don’t be so stiff. You act like you’ve never been touched.” She teased. 

“I’ve been touched plenty of times.” He shot back with a smirk, shoving her shoulder playfully. 

A wicked grin slowly spread across her face. “Your own hand doesn’t count, Cameron.” 

He laughed loudly, shaking his head. “Fuck off.” The otherwise crude insult was marred by his grin. All the tension fell from his shoulders as they traded insults in their typical way, like nothing had happened. They fell silent and she went to hand his jacket back, but he placed his big hands on her shoulders, keeping it in place. “Just - give it back to me when we have class. You’ll be cold on your walk home.” 

“Walk with me.” She suggested. She’d deny it, but her cheeks flushed as the words came out of her mouth, an uneasy feeling of anticipation in her stomach. Sophie offered her hand. 

Rafe was hesitant, but slipped his hand in hers, interlocking their fingers. She shivered again and he frowned, glancing over as they fell into step. “Cold still?” 

“Um, no. I’m good.” She gave him a shy smile. 

“You’re shivering.” He pointed out. 

“You make me nervous.” Sophie blurted out, then squeezed his hand gently, keeping her eyes trained on the sidewalk as they walked. 

“I make you - you make me nervous!” He exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief. 

She stopped dead in her tracks, looking up at him. “Why?” 

“Because, I…” Rafe trailed off, grasping for the right words. “I’m afraid I’m going to do or say the wrong thing, and we’ll be right back to where we were.” He confessed. “And I don’t want to go back to just fighting.” 

She fell silent, taking in his expression. She felt dizzy in the best way possible, heart pounding against her chest. “Me either.” She murmured. 

“So...what now?” He was tense, almost afraid of her answer, and started walking again, urging her along. It took a second for her to follow in step. 

“...We’ll see.” Sophie decided. Surely he could feel her sweaty palms, feel the anxiety radiating off of her, but she didn’t dare pull her hand away. 

“We’ll see.” Rafe repeated with a hint of disappointment, shoulders slumping just slightly as he walked her to the front door of Theta and reluctantly dropped her hand. 

Sophie just stood there for a moment before shrugging off his jacket and handing it back, stepping close, close enough for him to kiss her, if he really wanted to. “Night, Rafe.” 

Rafe eyed over her lips for a split second, then decided otherwise. He didn’t know what came over him, but he leaned forward just enough to place a sweet kiss on her forehead. “Night, Soph.” Before he could regret it too much, he turned on his heel and headed off. 

She watched him go in a moment of temporary shock, lightly pressing her fingers to the spot where he had kissed her forehead. A fucking forehead kiss. Platonic at best. Maybe she had misread the whole situation, she thought to herself, then headed inside as he was out of sight.

_

The next couple of weeks were an awkward dance between Rafe and Sophie of unanswered what-are-we’s and quick touches, flirty one-liners and heated cheeks. With the first snow in the last week of October came ice, something Sophie was massively underprepared for as she shoved her feet into Converse for class as she hustled out the door. Rafe and Sophie successfully won their second debate together and they were both high off their shared energy, grinning as they walked out of class together. 

“Are you heading toward the architecture building?” Rafe asked, turning that direction. He had grown into a routine of escorting her to her next class, even though she denied his help every time. 

“No, I’m headed home. My class I TA for is just a lecture today, so they didn’t need me.” Sophie explained, turning the other way. 

He grinned, matching her stride. “Great, I’ll walk you home.” 

“You don’t have to do that.” She argued, more out of habit than anything. 

He shook his head, smiling. “When are you gonna learn that I want to?” 

Sophie didn’t have a comeback for that and just fell silent, smiling to herself. It only took a couple minutes for her to slip on the ice, grabbing onto his jacket to stay up. 

He caught her around the waist easily, laughing. “You’ve lived here for at least two years, you’d think you’d know to wear good shoes on a snow day.” 

She blushed, more at his touch than anything. “I was running late, forgot about the ice. I still don’t own snow boots.” 

He chuckled. “Spoke like a true North Carolinian.” Rafe extended his arm, crooked at the elbow, and she took it with a grateful smile. 

“My hero.” Sophie kept a hold on his arm even when they made it onto the snowy unshoveled sidewalk, where she surely wouldn’t slip. (Rafe didn’t mind.) 

He walked her all the way to the Theta front door, ignoring her when she protested as they walked past Delt. “I’m fine, I swear I’ll make it.” She argued and he just shook his head, tugging her along. 

“Can’t have my debate partner falling and leaving me to fend for myself.” When they made it to Theta, he gave her a quick hug. She responded by reaching up on his toes to place a quick kiss on his cheek, pretending not to notice his almost-immediate blush. 

“Thanks, Rafe!” She spoke quickly before heading inside quickly, before he could register the kiss. Sophie shut the door fast behind her and leaned up against it the second she was in, trying to control her racing heart. Maybe she was doing the unthinkable - falling for Rafe Cameron. 

_

As Sophie adjusted her leotard one last time, she smoothed her hands over her hips, giving herself a once-over in the mirror. 

“You look great, Soph, let’s go.” Allie encouraged her, standing from her spot on the bed she’d been waiting on for the last ten minutes. 

“Are you sure? I could still change, I have my costume from last year. I feel like it shows off too much of my ass.” She tugged up on the leotard. “Or my chest.” 

“You have every right to show off your ass, it’s your birthday.” Julia reassured her. “We gotta go, I promised I’d bring drinks to the pregame at the senior house so we can’t be late.” She paused and started rifling through her closet, then pulled out a half-empty bottle of Malibu. “But first! You are way too sober for your twenty-first birthday.” 

Sophie wrinkled her nose at the sight of the bottle, bringing up memories of the last time she was drunk off of it. “I thought the plan was celebrating next weekend? You know, because people have other priorities on Halloween?” 

“Not us people.” Allie grinned, pulling three shot glasses out from their hidden spot in her desk drawer. 

Julia bumped Sophie’s hip and filled up the shot glasses, taking her job seriously. “You deserve two birthday celebrations, Soph. Next weekend will just be more about you.” 

Sophie laughed but couldn’t help but grin back as she took one of the shots from their shared vanity. “I love you guys.” 

“Oh boy, she hasn’t even had the shot and she’s sappy.” Allie teased, clinking the shot glass against hers. “Happy 21st!” 

“Happy 21st!” Julia echoed as they all took the shots together. 

_ 

Two shots and three drinks later, the trio finally left the pregame for the house party. Sophie was surprisingly steady on her feet, drinking water in between every single alcoholic drink for balance. (Next weekend was for getting drunk, anyways. Tonight she’d just enjoy the buzz.) She shouldn’t have been so surprised Rafe was there, considering the party was hosted at a Delt senior’s house, but was anyway. 

Rafe greeted her a few minutes after she came in, giving her a grin and a friendly hug. “Soph, hi! Wonder Woman, huh?” 

She was a little caught off guard but hugged him back, giving him a once over to decipher his costume. He wore classic black frames, a black blazer over a white button down and jeans. “Since when did you wear glasses?” 

He laughed and just shrugged, then handed her a solo cup. “Here, I made you a drink.” 

Sophie took the drink, hesitant. “What is it?” 

“Moscow mule, your favorite. Oh! I almost forgot, happy birthday!” He beamed. 

She hid a grin in the cup as she took a sip, pleasantly surprised that he remembered - both her birthday and her drink order. “Thank you. Alright, I’m lost. What’s your costume?” 

Rafe placed the glasses back on and unbuttoned half his shirt to reveal a Superman logo, smirking. “Looks like we match, birthday girl.” 

“Oh my god.” She pretended to groan but stepped forward anyways, reaching up to mess up his neatly styled hair. 

He ducked away, but not before letting her mess with it for a second. “Hey! I thought the glasses might give me away.” 

“Didn’t I tell you I like your hair messy? And no, they suit you too much. But I like the costume. You look good.” 

Rafe rubbed the back of his neck, trying his best to ignore her first comment. “The glasses are real, so I’d hope they look good. You look really good, uh, in case I didn’t say that already.”  

It was Sophie’s turn to blush and she bit her lip. “Thank you. I’m gonna catch up with some friends, but I’ll see you later?” She asked, touching his arm gently. 

He nodded, grinning. “See you ‘round.” 

_

Hardly an hour later, Rafe had ditched the jacket and kept his shirt half unbuttoned to show off the Superman logo, not arguing when people commented on him matching with Sophie. He kept zoning out during his third round of beer pong with Colin and James, one of them adding a random girl to their game each time. James hit him in the cheek with a ping pong ball from across the table, pointedly. “What are you staring at?” 

Colin followed Rafe’s gaze to see Sophie cornered by a boy across the big room and nodded in recognition. “Make a move or leave it, Rafe.” 

James, obnoxious and louder than usual thanks to the alcohol, bounded over and shoved Rafe’s shoulder. “Go get her, man!” 

Colin immediately slapped his hand over James’ mouth, rolling his eyes. “Keep it down, stupid.” 

Sophie was making her way back to Allie and Julia when her ex trapped her in the corner of the room, giving her a hug that lasted a moment too long. They had ended on friendly terms, but Sophie always suspected there was part of him still pining. A few too many drunk texts from him had confirmed that. Rafe watched her from across the room - just to make sure she was safe, he told himself, although his chest tightened at the thought of her flirting with someone else. After he watched her dodge a kiss, laughing awkwardly, he decided to make his move and strolled over. 

“Hey Soph.” Rafe murmured, dropping a kiss to her temple before wrapping his arms around her from behind. She leaned back into his embrace, surprised at how natural it felt. Too natural. “Who’s this?” 

She blushed a little, giving Luke a little shrug as he connected the dots with the matching costumes. She could hardly think with Rafe’s arms around her, the subtle smell of his cologne overwhelming her senses. (And she swore his hand grazed across her chest in the hug, but maybe that was her mind just making things up.) “This is Luke, my...um…” 

“Friend.” Luke supplied helpfully, extended a hand toward Rafe with an overly friendly, slightly forced smile. 

Rafe smirked and reached out to shake his hand, but kept one arm wrapped around Sophie. “Rafe. Nice to meet you.” 

Luke paused, then nodded as he puffed up his chest a little, not nearly reaching Rafe’s height. “You too.” He directed his next question to Sophie, raising an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t like being called Soph?” 

She simply shrugged. “Only by a few close friends.” 

“Right.”  He nodded again, eyeing Rafe and Sophie’s embrace with clear confusion. “How long have you two been…?” 

“Oh, we’re -”  

“A while.” Rafe cut her off, keeping it just vague enough so she wouldn’t be caught in a lie, not knowing when exactly she broke up with Luke. 

“Oh. Okay.” Luke frowned slightly. “I’ll see you around, Sophie.” 

He made a quick exit, and Sophie had to stop herself from closing her eyes and dropping her head back onto Rafe’s shoulder as she relaxed. 

“Who is that really?” Rafe inquired, brushing his lips against her ear as he spoke, not letting her go. 

After a moment, she turned to face him, loosening his grip on her just slightly. “My ex. But we’re friends now I guess, we only dated freshman year. He’s a good guy.” 

“Oh.” Rafe nodded. “Sorry, you just seemed -” 

“Bored?” She asked, amused. 

He laughed and reached up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. That gesture alone was enough to make her melt. “Yeah, a little. Why’d you break up?” 

She shrugged. “He was too nice.” 

He chuckled and dropped his hands from her waist, stuffing them in his back pockets. “Always seeking out the mean guys, huh?” 

“Nah.” She grinned, a knowing glint in her eyes. “Just like the ones that’ll fight with me.” With that she turned away, leaving him alone as she returned to her circle of friends. 

_

Late in the night, Sophie was a handful of drinks in - just enough to let her guard down. Rafe was the same, but he kept a watchful eye toward Sophie throughout the party. 

“He keeps looking over here.” Allie grinned, nodding her head in Rafe’s direction. 

Sophie kept her back to him but beamed, hiding a smile with a sip of her drink. “I know. I can feel it.” 

Julia glanced over and caught Rafe’s eye, then waved with a knowing grin. He smiled back but ducked his head away as he was caught. 

“Jules!” Allie scolded teasingly, grabbing her hand and pulling it down. 

Sophie just laughed, feeling warm and bubbly from the drinks and multiple birthday wishes from friends throughout the night. “Let him stare, I don’t mind.” 

“Your man’s got someone else on him.” Julia pointed out, glancing over again. 

Sophie wrinkled her nose just slightly. “Hm. He’s not my man, per se.” 

Allie looked over too, eyebrows raising. “Yeah? He really won’t be if this girl keeps up whatever she’s doing.” A girl was hanging off of Rafe’s arm, obviously flirting hard with him while he entertained polite conversation. 

“You guys really shouldn’t encourage this when I am definitely not sober.” Sophie complained, tipping back the rest of her drink and scowling at the burn. 

“Well we’re not sober either, so.” Julia placed her hands on Sophie’s shoulders, turning her in Rafe’s direction and giving her a small shove forward. Sophie tried her best not to visibly react as the girl started twirling her hair, pouting when Rafe dodged her attempted kiss on his cheek. 

“Hm. That’s...interesting.” Sophie mused, suddenly getting nervous and turned back. “I need another drink.”

“Oh no you don’t.” Allie grabbed Sophie’s arm, dragging her back. “One more and you’re not gonna walk straight.” 

“That doesn’t sound like an issue.” Sophie pointed out, crossing her arms as she looked over at Rafe. He caught her eye and raised his eyebrows, mouthing help with a teasing smirk when the girl on his arm placed her hand on his chest. That was the confidence boost she needed to stroll across the room, pausing just a few steps from him. 

She cleared her throat and the girl leaning on Rafe glanced back, suddenly straightening up and stepping away as she saw Sophie and Rafe’s matching costumes. “Sorry, I didn’t know you two were together.” She giggled, still batting her eyelashes at Rafe. 

Sophie rolled her eyes, coming close and curling her arm around Rafe’s bicep, greeting him with a territorial kiss on the cheek that was a little too close to the corner of his lips. “C’mon Cameron, we need to talk.” Sophie told him, dragging him away and up the stairs, away from the noise. 

He grinned and followed along easily. “You jealous, Soph?” He teased, stepping close once they made it upstairs. She swallowed, pressing her hand against his chest to keep just enough distance. 

“Of course I’m jealous, don’t be dense.” She retorted. 

“You - what?” He furrowed his brow, not expecting that reply. 

She let out a dramatic sigh, starting to pace as she avoided eye contact. “God, Rafe, I’ve been trying to show you for weeks now how much I really like you, like it scares me how much I like you, and you can’t pick up on a single hint -”

Rafe was grinning ear to ear now, amused as she kept going on. “Soph.” He tried interrupting. 

She spun on her heel - too quickly, having to grab his arm for stability - and pointed her finger in his face. “No, shut up, let me talk. It’s your stupid smirk that drives me crazy and I don’t know why but there’s something about your hands that I’m really drawn to, and most days I can’t tell if I want to shove you or make out with you,” she paused to take a breath and Rafe took his opportunity, leaning closer. 

“Sophie.” His voice was firmer now, catching her attention. 

“What.” She huffed, keeping her grip on his arm. 

“Kiss me.” 

“Wait - what?” 

taglist: @obx-saltlife​ @dontjinx-it @butgilinsky @oopsiedoopsie23 @taiter-tots @annedub​ @alexandracheers

[malewifegradyruewen]

An Untitled Original Work, Part 8

y'all are either gonna love me or hate me-

previous | next | masterpost

trigger warnings: none that i can think of, ask to tag

word count: 2755

tagging: @fire-sapphics @artemiassamos @honorablescythecurie @love-pyramus @silver-war @pencilwritesshiz47 @tiergan-andrin-alenefar @mermistahawk @dirty-racoon @tommyinnitt @enbies-and-felonies @sofia-not-sophie @imaramennoodle @littlemisscupcake @cadence-talle and lmk know if you wanna be added/removed!!

Gina was pissed, to say the least. Stupid, oblivious Leo, and stupid, oblivious her. What a pair.

Leo had always been oblivious, so she really couldn’t blame him, but it was her own mistakes that really set her off. Sure, they were her mistakes, but that didn’t make them sting less.

Put it out of your mind. That’s over now, and now we can… try again.

After they’d left, she and Sammie had decided that they should go to Gina’s, just to hang out. The only reason Gina had agreed was because she knew her dad had taken her youngest siblings to their grandma’s, and the oldest two of her younger siblings wouldn’t bother her. They might have even gone over to a friend’s house, leaving the Weathers residence vacant.

“So, what did you think? Salt & Pepper, it was good, right?” she asked, hoping to break the tension that had formed.

“Yeah, it was pretty good! Leo was right, the mocha was pretty good.”

She knew Sammie didn’t mean any harm, but hearing Leo’s name brought a bitter taste to Gina’s mouth. She did her best to swallow it before asking, “Have you ever dyed your hair?”

So she was taking the easy way out of discussing what had happened at the café. There was nothing wrong with that, especially because Gina wasn’t entirely sure what had happened, but they didn’t need to talk about it. Right now, she needed a distraction, something guaranteed.

“Uh, no, I haven’t,” Sammie admitted. “I never had the chance, I guess.”

“How would you feel about maybe, I dunno, doing that at my house?” Gina asked. “I’ve got a couple colours. I accidentally bought some for light hair, too, so that’s been sitting in my closet for a while now.”

Sammie hesitated. Gina could tell she wanted to, but still. It wasn’t something most people did on the fly. Changing your colour was one thing, but doing it for the first time was usually a bigger decision.

“You don’t have to,” Gina added. “Or we can do just like, a little bit. Streaks or ends or-” She gasped. “Under layer would look so good!”

With that, Sammie seemed won over. “Why not? What colours do you have?”

“For light hair, I think pink and blue. And then I have some that’s for darker hair, purple and green and red. And brown. I dunno. Probably pink or blue for you.”

“Pink, for sure.”

“Good, because we’re here,” Gina said as they pulled into her driveway. She quickly parked outside and hopped out of the car. “Do you want a soda or something? We’ve got some in the garage.”

She led Sammie into the garage and to an old, white fridge. Sammie pulled it open and Gina grabbed a Sprite. “Go on, you can take something.”

Sammie grabbed a Sprite of her own before closing the fridge. Gina then pulled open the door to the back hall, a tiny doorway that led into the kitchen. “Shoes on or off?” Sammie asked.

“Either one,” Gina said. “I keep mine in my room.” She then bolted upstairs. “My room’s up here.”

As Gina walked down the narrow hallway, she suddenly felt very… inadequate. Everything seemed too small, too dirty, too embarrassing. It never felt like this when Mally or Andre were over, because they’d been coming over since they were little. But somehow, Sammie seeing it for the first time as a high schooler, the most judgemental group of people on the planet, terrified Gina. What if this was it? Maybe Sammie would stop hanging out with her. Plus, there was the added terror of having your crush see your bedroom. That usually didn’t happen so early, did it?

Gina ran out of time to go over worst-case scenarios as she opened her bedroom door. Luckily, she’d cleaned up a bit before going to pick Sammie up, so it wasn’t too bad. Her bed was made, there were no dirty underwear on the floor, and the dresser was organised.

“Aww, your room is so cute!” Sammie said as Gina stepped out of the way to let her in. “The nail polish is so fun!” She pointed to the row that Gina had lined up in colour order. There were only maybe a dozen bottles, but they took up a decent amount of room on her dresser.

“Thanks,” Gina said as she internally sighed a sigh of relief. “Maybe we can paint our nails later, if we have time.”

“That would be fun,” Sammie agreed.

Gina could tell that there was something Sammie wasn’t saying, but she decided not to push. “Okay, here’s the hair dye,” she said as she opened her closet and grabbed a small plastic basket off the floor. “Here’s the pink.”

She tossed the box to Sammie, who caught it with ease. “Should we do this in the bathroom, and do you have some old towels?”

“Yeah, they’re right here.” She reached into her closet again and grabbed two stained towels. “I know they look gross but they’re clean, I promise. I just washed them.”

“That’s okay,” Sammie said as she took one of the towels from Gina. “Here, you put the basket away. Where’s your bathroom?”

“Right next door, first door on the right,” Gina said, sliding the basket back and closing her small closet. She followed Sammie into the bathroom.

“Okay, what’s first?” asked Sammie as she opened the box.

“You should wash your hair. I can do that in the sink, and then I have some clips in the sink so we only dye the bottom layer.”

“Alright, I’m doing this!” Sammie said as she placed one of the towels around her neck like a cape.

“We’re doing this! Here, I’m gonna go grab a chair so you can sit by the sink,” Gina said. She ran back downstairs to the garage, grabbed an old folding chair, and brought it back up. When she got back to the bathroom, she found that Sammie had found a handful of hair clips in a drawer and had pulled the gloves out of the box.

“Here.” She set the chair down facing the wall. “Sit.”

Sammie sat as Gina grabbed her shampoo and conditioner from the shower. She put them on the counter next to the sink and turned the water on. “Sit back so your hair’s actually in the sink.”

Gina could see Sammie hesitate. “Hey, it’s not too late to chicken out. I still haven’t been able to do Mally’s. You’re fine if you don’t wanna do it.”

“No, I wanna,” Sammie said. “I’m just nervous.”

“Don’t be! This stuff is only semi-permanent anyways, so it won’t last for more than six weeks, if you wash it the same amount as usual.”

Gina could see Sammie take a deep breath before sitting back. “Let’s go!”

She placed Sammie’s hair in the sink and started washing it. “So, how do you like it here?”

“I like it. It’s different from where I lived before, but I like the people here. I think I found a good group, y’know?”

“Yeah, I get that,” Gina said as she started adding shampoo. “Good crew. I’ve known Mally and Andre since elementary school. I think we’re all pretty likeable.”

“Yeah, and the other people in my classes are nice, too,” Sammie said. “Not that I’d hang out with most of them, but they’re nice.”

“Mhm,” Gina said absentmindedly as she rinsed the shampoo and started combing conditioner through Sammie’s hair.

“I can’t wait to just get to know more people, you know? Like I’ve been talking with some of my other classmates and I forgot how fun it is to talk to different people and get their perspectives on things.”

“Yeah,” Gina agreed. “Sit up, your hair is clean. I gotta dry it a bit.”

Sammie leaned forward in the chair as Gina pulled the towel that was sitting on her shoulders up to rub her hair dry. “I’m overall liking it here. I was nervous, but everyone has been really nice and no one’s really bullied me or anything.”

“Yeah, most of the people at our school are nice. It’s actually not too bad. I’ve heard South is way more toxic than our school.” Gina grabbed the clips and then pulled a comb out of one of the drawers. “Hold these,” she said, handing the clips to Sammie. She then ran the comb around Sammie’s head, grabbing the top section with one hand and a clip with the other. “Turn around, does that look good?”

“Yeah, that’s not too much,” Sammie said as she looked in the mirror.

“Okay, I’m gonna straighten out the part there then. Uh, you can continue what you were saying,” Gina said as Sammie turned back to face the wall.

“It’s just a decent environment, better than my old school. Even the worst people here are generally better than at my old school.”

“Yeah,” Gina said. “Okay, hair dye next. You ready?”

“Do it.”

“Okay,” Gina said as she slid on the gloves and opened the package of dye. She mixed it up and started scooping small handfuls onto Sammie’s hair. “Yeah, I’d say the worst person at our school is probably Logan, and she’s pretty bad, so the people at your school must have been terrible.”

“She’s not that bad,” Sammie said. “She’s in my English, and she seems pretty nice.”

“Trust me, she’s not.” Gina combed her fingers through Sammie’s hair. “She’s rude and a bully.”

“Huh, I haven’t seen that,” Sammie admitted. “She seems pretty… normal, I guess.”

“Don’t hang out with her, trust me. Mally and Andre can vouch for me. Just don’t.”

“Okay, I guess I can do that.”

They sat in silence, Gina combing her fingers through Sammie’s hair to make sure it was fully covered. “Your hair looks good, now we wait,” she said, pulling the gloves off and throwing them in the garbage next to the toilet. “Uh, do you wanna do nails while we wait?”

“Sure,” Sammie said. “I can do yours, if you go grab colours.”

Gina nodded before heading back to her room. That was… strange, right? How Sammie had talked about Logan? What was up with the two of them, anyways? Gina wasn’t sure, but hopefully it was just a misunderstanding on Sammie’s part. Logan was bad news, and the two of them hanging out was worse news.

She grabbed a couple colours; sparkly black and her favourite purple. She brought them back to the bathroom and sat down on the floor in front of Sammie. She’d been doing something on her phone while Gina was in her room, and Gina sat for a moment before she put her phone away. “Sorry, I had to respond to a couple messages.”

“That’s okay. Here, here’s my colours.” She put one hand up and Sammie opened the bottle of purple. She started applying the colour with an ease Gina had never been able to master.

“We should listen to music,” Gina said as she pulled her phone out of her pocket with her free hand. She opened her Spotify and scrolled through her playlists until she found one that wouldn’t totally embarrass her.

“Oh, this is a bop,” she said as the first song came on.

“Oh, yeah!” Sammie said, grinning. She started singing along. “You would not believe your eyes…”

Gina joined in. “If ten million fireflies…”

“Lit up the world as I fell asleep,” they sang in unison. They sang the whole song, relishing each other’s company. By the time the song was over, the first coat on Gina’s nails was finished, and Sammie was on the second coat.

“That was good,” Sammie said, almost breathless.

“Yeah,” Gina laughed. “Ooh, this next one is good. I’ve been cheated by you since I don’t know when…”

“So I made up my mind, it must come to an end,” Sammie joined in. She finished the final coat of polish on Gina’s nails before the song ended.

“Alright, your nails are done, just let them dry and we can rinse my hair.”

“The bottom drawer on your left, there’s a hair dryer. We can dry my nails faster,” Gina said. She paused the music as Sammie plugged it in. She put her hands out in front of her as Sammie turned it on and aimed it at Gina’s nails.

They sat in relative silence, the only noise being the hair dryer. Not quite silence, but one sound enveloping the small room. After about five minutes, Sammie turned it off and said, “Try that.”

Gina tentatively touched her pinky nail. “Dry,” she said, standing up. “Now for your hair.”

She turned the sink back on as Sammie leaned back once more. Gina combed her fingers through Sammie’s hair, turning the water in the sink bright pink. After a few minutes of rinsing, she said, “I think you’re good. Let’s blow it dry.”

Sammie handed her the dryer from where it had been sitting in her lap. Gina switched it on and started blow drying her friend’s hair. She pulled the clip out and ran her fingers through until she determined it was dry. Gina turned off the hair dryer and unplugged it. “Ready for the final reveal?”

Sammie nodded with a nervous smile. She stood up and turned around. “Oh my gosh I love it!” she cried. “It’s so beautiful! Thank you!”

Gina smiled. “It turned out nicely,” she said. “Not gonna lie, I was a bit nervous too.”

“You were?” Sammie asked. “You did it so well! I can’t stop looking at it!”

“Ah, it was nothing. But my nails! You made it look so easy! I always get it all over my fingers and then have to wipe it off.”

“I did my nails a lot in middle school.”

“Makes sense.” They stood in awkward silence for a moment before Gina added, “We should clean this up, and it’s getting late. I can drive you home.”

“Yeah, you’re right. A ride would be great.” Sammie grabbed the towel and the chair and asked, “Where do these go?”

“Uh, the towel can go on the hook behind the door there,” Gina pointed. “And the chair goes in the garage. Do you mind taking it down there while I finish cleaning up the garbage?”

Sammie nodded and took the chair downstairs. Gina grabbed the rest of the garbage, threw it away, and brought the nail polish and the rest of the hair dye back to her room. She set them on her dresser and ran downstairs.

“C’mon, let’s go,” she said to Sammie as she entered the garage. She hopped in the driver’s seat as Sammie climbed in next to her.

“This was fun,” Sammie said Gina started backing out.

“Yeah, it was.” Gina realised this was the perfect time to admit something that had been pulling at her stomach all week. “Uh, Sammie, uh, I dunno how to say this. It’s only been, what, a week since you came, but I really-” She stopped herself and swallowed.

“I like you.”

The words hung there, suspended between them for what felt like an eternity. Gina couldn’t take her eyes off the road, wouldn't let herself. She was scared, but she couldn't take the words back.

Sammie gulped loudly enough for Gina to hear before saying, “I think I might like you.”

They didn’t live far apart, and that short ride had already brought them into Sammie’s driveway. Gina parked and neither girl said anything. She turned to face Sammie and saw Sammie staring at her.

Gina could see Sammie unbuckle her seatbelt, but nothing could have prepared her for Sammie to lean over and kiss her. It was so sudden, she hadn’t even registered what was happening until it was over. Sammie had opened the door and was climbing out of the car.

“Bye!” she called as she slammed the door shut and ran into the house, and just like that, she was gone.

Gina sat there, absolutely shocked. Of all the things she had expected to happen that day, that was not one of them. But Sammie had disappeared inside. There was nothing for Gina to do except drive home and hold the secret tight. That experience, that moment, was going to stay in this car, and Gina couldn't do anything about it, so she didn’t try to fight it. Instead, she drove home and tried not to think about it. After all, what else could she do?

[bookwyrminspiration]

Shattered Upside Down

A kotlc wings au: masterpost here

Chapter 32: Stitches and Open Wounds

word count: 7.3k

chapter summary: Sophie's trying to rebuild, but the knowledge she now has weighs at her and she can't keep it secret.

warnings: death (happened prior to the chapter), mentions of a body, grief, breakdowns, splinters (a lot of splinters)

taglist: I’ll reblog with it! let me know if you want to be added or removed!

ao3 link here or read below

Lady Gisela’s body was found discarded amongst the wreckage of the everblaze ruins, almost entirely submerged in the little creek that cut through the dreamy grass. It’d saved her from the worst of the fire; even if everblaze couldn’t be put out with water, water still couldn’t burn.

If she was anywhere else, she wouldn’t have been found nearly as quickly. With the stickiness of the ash, the lingering heat looming in the air, the creek was a welcome and brief reprieve. Dipping your feet in and letting the water splash up on your legs, watching it flow over your fingers as you press them just under the surface, it soothed the ache.

As they’d moved through the area, they found that solace in different parts of the water, again and again traveling further through its flow until--bloated skin, swollen scars, dead eyes.

Dead person.

Peach skin and blonde hair all twisted up and falling over itself, sky blue eyes.

Dead Lady Gisela.

Sophie had flown over that very creek, had hoped that it would stop the blaze scorching across the earth. She’d flown over it again when she’d helped get Marella’s dragon away from the goblins who would kill it, who would tear it piece from piece and shred the remains.

Had her body been lying cold in the water then?

Sophie’s tea sat filmy and untouched after she’d set it on the ground, afraid she was going to drop it and shatter the lovely mug.

What did she even do now?

“How? How did she die?” Biana finally asked, voice rasping through the air like a knife, breaking her from her horrified reverie.

Grady shrugged. “They haven’t told us yet. Maybe they never will. I think they want to pretend it never happened.”

But it had happened. Lady Gisela was dead.

If she ever manages to save herself.

That’s what Fintan had said when Lady Gisela had been brought up. She hadn’t worried about it at the time, hadn’t thought of it more than in that moment; if Lady Gisela wasn't a problem right then, she was something that could be put off towards another time.

The time was now, apparently.

What had she failed to save herself from?

Her parents had gotten paler, lips pressed thin, eyes distant as they looked at something the three of them couldn’t see. She hated it, hated that look, wanted to get rid of it.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said suddenly. “If that’s all you know, we don’t need to keep talking about it.”

How had things turned so somber, so unbelievable, so quickly?

How were they going to tell Keefe? What would he say? What would he do? He hadn’t brought her up in months, doing his best to move on from someone who only ever loved who he could be for her, not who he was.

“Sorry for bringing the mood down so low,” Edaline said, attempting a small smile to get them out of the funk. “How about you continue your story? I’m sure you’ve been through a lot more than we have since you left.”

“Um, yeah, okay, I can do that,” she answered, shaking herself off as she tried to remember where she’d been before she brought up the smoke smell, leftovers of the ash from the everblaze. If they still smelled like smoke, then they must’ve been on the surface recently. Did that mean Lady Gisela’s death was recent, too? How much did that change for the Neverseen? For Phoenix? They hadn’t seem to miss her…

“Well, after we left, we used a pathfinder to leap away--but it had gotten cracked, and we ended up somewhere else. You’ll never believe what we found there,” she started, forcing the rest of the thoughts away as she continued her story.

She left out a few details, like the extent of injuries now healed, to keep from worrying them too much, but she found more and more of the story spilling from her lips.

The gnomish village, how they’d each found a house for themselves, though she had yet to see everyone’s, how they’d later fixed up parts of the place but weren’t done yet. Dex’s poor reaction to something, his medical emergency that’d made her freeze so badly she’d never forgiven herself.

For some reason she left out the part with the monster, the fateful day she’d met Echo, unsure how they’d respond. Her parents hadn’t lived on the surface in months, they hadn’t become more than human. They still feared monsters, were still disgusted by them--all of them.

Then the storm, how the rain had poured down out of nowhere from some unnatural cause, tearing flowers from vines and flooding the dirt on the ground into mud. Dragons, there were dragons in the sky. Not the little green dog-like creatures she’d heard about around Havenfield, but true dragons like from her storybooks, dragons that fought and tore at each other.

She brushed through her trip to the Forbidden Cities with Tam, just mentioning how they’d taken what they’d needed after Marella and Linh had absorbed the brunt of the damage from the dragons.

That brought her to the messages they’d received from the Council, the demands for explanations and to meet. A demand she’d met with her own, leading to…Mysterium. Her parents knew the end to this part of the story.

“Will I ever get my pathfinder back?” Grady asked, trying to lighten the mood the story had brought down--if it could even get lower after the news about Lady Gisela.

“No,” she told him after a moment. “It’s ours now. You can get a new one from the Council or something--where do they even come from? Don’t answer that, it’s not important.”

Edaline was looking off into the distance, hands folded tightly under her arms as though she was restraining herself. But from what? “So the whole time we were begging you to come back home, to come back to us, you were going through all that,” she murmured. “We thought we had done something wrong, that we’d driven you away. I’m sorry for all the ways we made your plight more difficult for you; we didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t know,” Linh assured her, voice gentle as she fiddled with a ribbon of water in the air, twisting it around her wrist and letting it climb along her skin, gleaming with that unnatural iridescence in the soft lighting. The normal hues built to imitate the light on the surface were shifting into oranges, the day waning.“We didn’t tell anybody. You can’t take that blame onto yourself; it won’t ease the ache for any of us and will only make you more miserable in the process.”

Edaline gave her a warm smile. “Of course--please, don’t stop on my account. Grady told me what happened in Mysterium, the monsters. And the things we’ve been politely avoiding mentioning.”

She gave a pointed look to the cloaks.

Sophie shifted, digging her nails into her palms to keep from tugging at her eyelashes when she found her hand half-way there already.

“Well you’re not politely avoiding it anymore,” she mumbled, face heating as she averted her eyes. Why was this the part that got to her? She’d had the wings for weeks, had learned to use them, had accepted that they were a part of them she could never hate, not when they did so much for her family.

Yet the thought of openly showing them felt like an act she couldn’t come back from, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to face it. To show her parents just how different she had become from the daughter they’d learned to love. She had no doubts they would continue to love her, that they’d find a way through this hectic new world hand in hand, but that wouldn’t make the shift any less rocky.

“We won’t force you, Sophie--or you two either,” Grady said, addressing Biana and Linh, who had glanced at each other across the circle.

“Thanks,” she exhaled, then frowned up at the ceiling, shifting side to side. She’d been prepared for the pressure of the earth, the cramped feeling that came with it, but that didn’t stop it from grating.

She picked up her story, skipping over Mysterium and going back to the village, how she and Keefe had used Grady’s pathfinder to visit a meadow with the alicorns--Linh and Biana were very jealous of that--how Elwin had reached out to her so she’d brought him to them, Dex making his own wings, how Marella had flown off and Sophie had followed. Biana got a kick out of explaining how she’d followed Sophie following Marella, but the jokes faded when they got to the facility, when Biana went missing, when Marella had finally been found.

Her voice went quiet as she explained how technically, she’d caused the everblaze fire trying to move the dragon, then gave up trying to explain the being at the end of the hall as she moved forward with her tale. They graciously skipped over the tracker incident, then Linh apologized for going missing, detailing how adorable her baby dragons were.

More and more of the story poured from her mouth as the minutes ticked by, the call from Councillor Alina and saving Marella’s dragon and finding Fintan and the little girl and sharing all that had happened until she got to the day before.

Her unintentional kidnapping.

Her parents’ faces were tight as she went over what’d happened, the story smoother this time around now that she’d had the morning as practice. Edaline wouldn’t stop fretting over her, and Grady had some choice words about Fintan and Murad, but there was nothing to be done about it now.

She was back, and she was okay, and she was sharing her story. Everything had worked out and she was moving forward from it. What else was there to do?

By the time her story finished, the device at the top of the room was turning a darker and darker color with each passing second, night laying its weary head upon the earth with an unforgiving finality.

Biana frowned to her right, taking out her imparter as she, too, took in the shift. It was easy enough to ignore as it happened, but at some point it got to a point where you couldn’t put it aside anymore.

Sophie’s throat grated against itself whenever she swallowed, and no amount of tea would wash the feeling away. She’d been talking and talking all day, telling story after story since Echo had sat upon her face and nearly suffocated her that morning--near suffocation wouldn’t help her throat either, no matter how cute.

“Tam wants to know when we’ll be back,” Linh said quietly, also with her imparter out. “What should I tell him?” She directed her question to the room at large, looking between everyone like she’d find the answer there, utterly willing to go along with whatever everyone else needed. She was better emotional support than Sophie could ever deserve.

Sophie looked to her parents, trying to figure out how to word what she wanted to ask when Edaline cut her off before she could get it out.

“Part of me wants to lock the doors and hold you close to make sure I’ll never go without knowing what’s happening to you for so long ever again,” she said, standing off the couch to take the few steps to reach Sophie.

Wrapping her arms around Sophie’s shoulders, she squeezed tight. “But that’s not what you deserve. I don’t want to trap you down here with us, not if you’re…as okay as you can be up there. If you need to go now, we won’t stop you. Just…don’t shut us out like that again Sophie. We trust you, but we’re your parents. It’s in our nature to panic for your safety when we’re fumbling in the dark. Thank you for today. For letting us know you’re okay. I love you.”

Sophie’s shoulders drooped as she lifted her arms to wrap around Edline, face sinking into her shoulder, tears pricking at her eyes, the room blurring.

“You’re being safe, right? No angering ogre kings or breaking bones?” Grady said, joining the hug, and she could feel Biana and Linh pulled in too. All five of their heartbeats pulsed close, echoing back and forth to each other like they could voice all the words none of them knew how to say.

“Well, this is Sophie we’re talking about,” Linh said in response when Sophie couldn’t figure out how.

“You’re the one who charged into that dragon storm with her!” Biana countered, sparking a laugh from Sophie as she wiped at her eyes, pulling away from the group to better look at them all.

“You three better keep each other safe, alright? You need to look out for each other--every one of you,” Grady told them, pulling them all close for one last tight squeeze before he stepped back, tucking his hands in his pockets like it would hide the shaking, clearing his threat as he blinked hard.

Sophie turned it back around on him, saying “You better keep each other safe, walking around on the surface like you do,” but she added, “We will. We always do,” quietly after a moment.

“I guess we have to let you go now,” Edaline whispered, hand pressed over her chest like she could reach through and silence the raucous commotion of her heart.

“I’m not leaving forever this time,” she reminded her, reminded herself. She wasn’t. This was just a start, a bridge burnt down she refused to let stop her. She’d come prepared with bricks and mortar, with wood and rope, with her hands ready to do the work to cross that ravine between the two of them she’d let crack open.

This was just the beginning.

............................

“You are the smartest idiot I’ve ever known,” Tam drawled from the other side of the room, and Sophie didn’t even bother to turn to look at him as she raised a very specific finger, waving it a little for good measure.

“You had no problems going along with my petty theft plan not too long ago. What, are splinters where you draw the line?”

The hand Sophie hadn’t used to very kindly gesture towards him was held still next to her chest as she examined the little bits of wood sticking out of it--two this time. She refused to give Tam’s comment any serious consideration, but it was impressive that she’d managed to give herself 13 splinters over the last hour alone. If she’d still had her gloves--the ones to help control her enhancing, which was an ability she seriously never put to good use--they would’ve been invaluable right about now.

The pile of wood the ten of them had assembled hadn’t been this mean to anyone else; the rest of her friends’ fingers remained untouched from the damaged surfaces.

Sophie’s fit of fixing up a few bridges and sweeping, which hadn’t been very effective given her messed up shoulder at the time, hadn’t been nearly enough to make a dent in the village. But it had made progress, and it had spread.

Almost everyone had taken on smaller projects to freshen up their areas--Fitz’s stairs and balcony had needed some work, and the window’s at Tam’s place had been completely trashed--but they hadn’t done anything together yet.

That’s what this morning was for.

Fitz had woken her up that morning by barging into her house, saying something about how they couldn’t waste the daylight and how much work there was to do, that they needed to get something done to feel better about themselves before taking on the giant tasks their list had outlined for their future--it had apparently stopped being Sophie’s list and was now everybody’s list, which she was fine with. She’d never planned to do anything without them, not when she saw how much it hurt them all.

Except getting kidnapped. She’d definitely try and make sure that that kind of damage was restricted to everyone else as little as possible; they wouldn’t like that, but she didn’t want anyone hurt on her account if she could help it.

And regardless of her convictions or the comfort of her bed--this time suffocation free--Fitz was insistent.

That’s how she found herself next to Tam, turning an abandoned house into an organized place to shove various things. They’d moved all the furniture to a small room on the side and were using the now-empty main room, open to the sun, to stack planks of damaged wood. All the bridges and houses destroyed from the first monster attacks that’d killed this place combined with the dragon storm really wrecked the structures, leaving bridges dangling, warped and unusable, houses collapsed.

The others were going around taking apart the bridges, the vines and ropes holding everything together by a thread, gathering the detached wood from walls, then carting the supplies back to the two of them where they’d sort and organize.

They’d created a system together, the two of them, separating piles based on amount of damage, “slightly warped but still usable depending on the circumstances” all the way down to “how did it even get this funky.” The latter was full of odd shapes and splintered planks, things that could be used for kindling if they ever wanted a real fire--one that wasn’t sustained by Marella, that is.

“Splinters are where I draw the line when you keep doing things the hard way and then complaining about the consequences,” Tam said, answering her question even though she’d asked it just to poke fun at him.

“I’m not even complaining this time! I’m just dealing with it like a rational, controlled adult,” she protested, carefully using her nails to grip at the first splinter. They didn’t have tweezers, so she was going to have to do things the much less effective way, as she’d been doing for the previous dozen splinters.

“You can believe whatever you want to,” Tam told her, throwing up his hands in surrender, rolling his eyes as a smile tugged at his lips, little fangs pressing into the chewed skin.

He pushed off the wall he’d been leaning against, stepping around her to pick up where she’d left off, finishing storing the last of this batch of wood.

Sophie managed to pull the first splinter out just as Tam let out a small yelp, dropping the final plank with a clatter as he swore, shaking out his hand.

“You okay?” she asked, momentarily distracted enough to fully look up.

Tam stood, face all wrinkled in a grimace, flushed pink as he raised his hand up to his face and squinted.

Walking up behind him to peer over his shoulder, she could see what’d been nearly invisible from further away.

A splinter, poked into the skin of his ring finger, looking secure enough to be an absolute pain to remove--especially with Tam’s habit of biting his nails down, leaving them useless for tasks such as this.

“Don’t you dare,” he hissed, snatching his hand out of her line of sight.

“I wasn’t even gonna say anything!” she told him, which was a lie. She’d been fully intending to turn the narrative back around and tease him about falling prey to her affliction of tiny pieces of wood under her skin.

“Say anything about what?” Fitz asked, pushing the door open, wing entering before the rest of his body did. She’d hadn’t seen him for more than a few minutes in a while, him peeking through the window to wave hello when he dropped off more wood and rope for them to sort.

Marella pushed in behind him, mumbling something about boys with too many feathers as she inched around the space he took up, flapping her own leathery wings as she leaned against the wall.

“Nothing,” Tam quickly said, dropping his hand back to his side as he turned, light reflecting from his eyes as he did so.

Sophie just smiled quietly to herself, sticking her tongue between her teeth to keep herself from talking. She still had another splinter in her finger, and it was being incredibly stubborn; she began to pick at the skin around it to try and wiggle it out as Fitz continued his questions. “You’re doing that secretive smug smile, what’s going on here?” he accused, indicating the face Sophie was trying to school into submission as she struggled.

Tam still held his hand awkwardly at his side and sighed. “Just a couple of splinters.”

“Splinters? Have you been picking up the wood with your hands?” Fitz was confused enough to drop all his suspicions, instead looking between Sophie and Tam, incredulous.

“What do you mean ‘have we been picking up the wood with our hands?’ What are we supposed to use, our feet?” Sophie shot back, making a face at him like she couldn’t even believe he was asking.

Fitz put both his hands over his mouth, taking a breath before continuing. “You do know we’re elves, right?”

He raised a hand towards the door, pushing it open…with his mind. His fingers curled a little and a plank from his and Marella’s newest drop off started floating off the ground, effortlessly gliding through the door and onto the pile in the corner--which was not where it was supposed to go, as that was a possibly usable plank and he’d put it in the kindling pile.

Sophie and Tam said nothing, only glancing at each other as the wood settled atop the others.

Silently, Sophie peered down at her injury and squinted, drawing that energy up from her core as she lasered in her focus on that tiny sliver of wood still stuck in her finger that’d refused to cooperate with all previous attempts.

The splinter slid from her skin, much quicker and less painful than all her other splinters that’d she’d pulled out with brute force and her fingernails. “Huh. I guess we are elves,” was all she could think to say.

“Maybe you are,” Tam grumbled under his breath, shooting a glare at Marella, who was trying to suppress laughter in the corner, wings scraping against the walls as they shook alongside her, but there was no real weight behind it.

“No wonder you two are always bickering when we stop by,” Marella finally said, a smug little grin painted across her lips.

“You know what, just for that, I’m going to keep doing it the human way out of spite,” Sophie decided, crossing her arms. Maybe she was an elf--or at least partly, given that wings weren’t very elven--but she didn’t have to behave like one. Elves didn’t run off into danger, or love monsters, or teleport, or do any of the things Sophie had been doing for the past few years, so why should she start behaving like one now?

“How are we going to take down a whole double rebel organization if you can’t even do things the easy way when you know they exist!” Fitz exclaimed, running a finger through his hair as his wings flared a little, stirring up the dust and wood fragments and the pollen stuck to Sophie’s skin.

Tam sneezed.

“Sorry,” Sophie said to Tam, then to Fitz, “I’ll be smarter about everything when dealing with the facility and getting Phoenix out. I don’t have a plan--yet--but I’m not risking her. I wish I could’ve taken her when I got out.” The last part slipped out before she could stop it.

“If you hadn’t gotten yourself out, you wouldn’t be able to go back for her at all,” Marella said, coming up behind her. “Maybe it isn’t ideal, but this is a situation you can work with--that we can work with. We may only know her through what you’ve told us, but we trust you; we don’t want her with them as much as you do. Fintan and this Murad…that’s not a good place for a kid.”

Sophie shivered; Marella had never told her about the time she’d spent training with Fintan, and Linh wouldn’t tell her even if she’d asked out of respect for Marella’s privacy, but she couldn’t help but wonder what’d happened in those sessions, what he’d said that’d given her so much control over such a chilling ability.

Which reminded her of something, a day of fire and terror, of little girls held close to the chest, of word play and stalemates.

She turned to Marella, “That thing Fintan said to you, when we saw him at Havenfield…what did that mean?”

Marella frowned, chewing on the end of one of her braids. “Which thing? I don’t have your memory.”

“He said something about remembering the stars and the dreamers.” She hadn’t thought about it much, more concerned with repairing their friendship, but it’d always lingered.

Marella stopped chewing on her braid, letting it drop back into place as her heart rate spiked, nails picking at her cuticles as she exhaled. “Right. That one. It’s…nothing. Just another one of his lessons I ignored. That was the hardest part about training under him, knowing that he was…the kind of person he was. That it influenced everything he taught me, and then having to figure out which parts of what he told me were things I could trust and use, and which parts would indoctrinate me if I just accepted them.”

“And the stars and the dreamers were one you had to ignore?” Fitz clarified.

“Yeah. You’ll never stop wondering about it if I don’t explain so…it was about overcoming limits, testing what you could do. Because it was the pyrokinetics who dreamed of the stars who discovered everblaze, it was the ones who were willing to test the limits and reach higher who discovered this whole new craving that changed pyrokinesis forever. And he wanted me to be like that. To be someone to keep looking further and further and dream higher, reaching for the stars like he did--but to be more successful.

”When I first heard that I was so drawn to that specific story that he kept telling it. I thought it was one of his lessons that I could really use, that would actually work for me. But then the more I pushed myself, looking to the stars…the more I realized that it was that exact story that killed all those pyrokinetics and got the ability banned. Because they kept reaching for more and more, giving into the craving and giving themself over--that was always Fintan’s mistake. He was willing to give too much--to his ability, to his cause--and it ruined him. Pyrokinesis relies on balance between you and the flame, and I want my power to come from that balance and control, not some craving for something more that hurts the people around me. But that doesn’t stop him from bringing it up, trying to ‘push me to be something more.’”

The room went quiet, the three of them looking between each other and Marella looked away, scowling at the nearest pile of wood as her face started going red, sparks dripping from her fingers, crackling against her shirt as she crossed her arms.

“You don’t have to be anything more than you,” Tam told her, voice not gentle, but not unkind. “Anyone who doesn’t accept you as you are isn’t worth your time or your thoughts.”

“I know,” Marella breathed, quiet, like she was trying to remind herself of the fact. “I don’t care what Fintan thinks of me. I don’t,” she emphasized, reasserting herself as she shook her head, clearing her mind. “I’m a better pyrokinetic. I may not win against him one on one or have as much experience, but I have the balance he doesn’t and that’s what matters to me. Does that answer your question?” she said suddenly, switching the attention back to Sophie, who’d honestly forgotten she’d even asked a question with how engrossed she’d become in Marella’s story. It seemed so rare she learned something about her, all the secrets held close as she watched from afar to learn everything about everyone else.

“Yeah, I think it does.”

A clatter sounded outside, and they all jumped, Sophie’s wings buzzing as she nearly lifted off the ground from the force of her racing heart.

“Calm down, it’s just us,” Dex called, more wood clacking against each other--that was the noise that had started them.

But Sophie did not calm down, because she knew exactly who was accompanying Dex, who Fitz had paired him off with that morning.

Sure enough, when the door pushed open, she was met with blond hair and icy blue eyes, light grey wings shuffling behind him as he maneuvered through a door not meant for them.

Keefe.

She hadn’t talked to him, hadn’t told him yet. It was too late last night when they’d gotten back and everyone wanted a chance to think over the revelations of the day. Keefe had helped Fitz hail Alden and Della and whatever had happened there left the two of them exhausted; telling him then would’ve made it even harder for everyone.

And then this morning when Fitz had burst into her house--he probably would’ve thrown open the curtains too, if she’d had any--they’d all gotten right to work, though everyone else was more awake than her. That was the consequence of her years and years of insomnia, now even when she could fall asleep she’d end up sleeping for strange amounts of time as her body tried to find a rhythm amongst the chaos that was her life, leaving her tired despite resting.

She and Keefe had ended up in different pairings--Sophie and Tam, Keefe and Dex. They’d been stationed on different sides of the village, only occasionally crossing paths, and every time her heart rate had spiked.

Waiting for a chance to tell him, to pull him aside and explain what she’d learned…Biana and Linh had left that to her. She knew Keefe better when it came to information about his mom, and they trusted her judgment.

“She has no idea what we’re saying, does she,” Dex’s voice deadpanned. Accompanied with a flick to her arm from Marella, Sophie flinched back into her body, blinking, wings buzzing from the start.

“Ow,” she mumbled, absentmindedly rubbing at the hurt, but that just disturbed the bits of pollen stuck to her skin--seriously, she’d never be rid of it.

“What’s the deal with you, Foster?” Keefe asked, frowning at her. “You’ve been a nervous wreck all day, I swear I can’t escape the feeling.” He squinted at her to emphasize the point, fanning the air as his wings drifted a shade darker before he shook himself out of it.

Sophie opened her mouth, but closed it again when no words came out, shrugging slightly helpless.

She had to tell him, she had to.

They didn’t keep these kinds of secrets from each other--and he’d understand why she hadn’t told him yet, right? It wasn’t fair of her to hold onto this knowledge, but just how could she tell him?

How do you tell one of your best friends that his mother, his cruel and abusive and evil mother he’s spent months and months getting over, is dead?

“Sophie, I was just teasing you, what’s with all the dread?” Keefe asked suddenly into the quiet, the quiet sparked by Sophie’s quiet.

Her friends could sense it, were looking between the two of them with apprehension, with confusion, with curiosity. But they didn’t dare break the spell.

Sophie shifted, trying not to look at his face but unable to keep from glancing at it as she spoke.

“We…need to talk. It’s about your mom.”

............................

“Dead.”

He’d repeated the words back to her again and again, face blank in a truly frightening way.

When they’d had a conversation so similar to this he’d broken down, crying while furious at himself for feeling any sort of remorse or concern for someone so awful. But Lady Gisela was his mother, and he did love her, at least in part.

He’d wanted her to love him.

He hated her, despised her for what she’d done to him, what she’d put him through. But that didn’t mean he wanted her--

“Dead.”

“Please tell me what I can do for you right now,” she nearly begged, trying to keep her eyes off the dark dark darkness that’d spread behind him.

She’d never seen his wings so dark before.

Ink dipped void painted in delicate strokes across a page, blurring and smearing into each other, one feather indistinguishable from the next. They crawled over his shoulders, shadowed his skin, haunted him. No trace of light, no bolt of hope through the storm emerging from his shoulder blades, only something to be weathered, to be worn, to endure.

“I don’t--I don’t…” he started and trailed off a few times, sinking down to the floor to bury his head in his hands, fingers grasping at pale blond hair. She could hear his heartbeat spike as she lowered down next to him, tempted to reach out but not wanting to overwhelm him with her own emotions.

“I’m sorry,” was all she could think to say.

Keefe’s eyes were trying to bore a hole through the wooden floor, mouth fallen open. He wasn’t moving. When should she be concerned that he wasn’t moving? How long were you allowed to not move when your evil mother died of unknown causes?

Whatever length of time it was, she lost track when a knock sounded at the door.

Keefe didn’t say anything so Sophie called out, “Yeah?”

The door pushed open softly, the faint rustle of fragile wings stirring the air as Wylie stepped into the room.

“Hey,” he said, voice soothingly quiet as his eyes found Keefe, who still hadn’t moved from his numb position on the floor. “I…I heard what happened. Tam and Marella and the others were…concerned, when you pulled him aside. They started asking questions, so Biana and Linh told us, that way you didn’t have to deal with it on your own,” Wylie explained.

He pushed the door closed behind him, leaning against it and blinking slowly, a ripple of light passing beneath his skin as he sighed.

“I wanted to let you know, Keefe,” he said slowly, observing the same slightly-there yet slightly-not mindset Sophie was starting to get very worried over. “That if you need to, you can talk to me. My mother…she wasn’t like yours, but I lost her, too. There’s a lot of conflict you’re feeling that I didn’t have but…grief is grief.

“I don’t--I don’t even know why it matters,” Keefe mumbled, voice breaking over the words. “It’s not like…” he trailed off for a moment and they just waited, listening, as Keefe’s eyes remained fixed on that point she couldn’t see. “She wasn’t even there for me. I don’t even know the last time I saw her. Nothing’s changed. So why does it feel…like this.”

Wylie hesitantly stepped closer, lowering himself to the floor next to the two of them. “Something has changed. You’re allowed to feel however you’re feeling about that. Even if she wasn’t there for you, there was still the potential. For her to change, for her to care, for something to happen. That’s what really sucks,” he said so quietly she almost missed it. “All the opportunities you miss because this is final.”

“Final,” Keefe repeated back to him in a whisper, and that’s when the first tear fell from his suddenly glistening eyes, tracing its way down his cheek and curving under his chin, leaving an impression in its wake.

A second followed, and then a third, and then his lips were trembling as he took a shaky breath, fingers tightening in their hold on his hair, then his knees hitting the ground as he fell forward, hands splaying before him to catch himself as his wings spread from his back, draping over his body, lifeless as streaks of ice blue flashed through the spilled ink like lightning.

The wretched noise he made as Sophie’s hand tenderly came to rest on his shoulder nearly broke her as she felt her own traitorous eyes blur, watching him fall apart.

“I’m so sorry, Keefe,” she whispered again, unsure what else to say. Would a hug be too overwhelming? Could she say anything more? Was there anything she could do?

Why was she so useless, so helpless to do anything?

“It’s okay to cry over her, no matter how horrible she was,” Wylie said, hand coming to rest on Keefe’s other shoulder, the three of them forming some cursed triangle as the words broke through whatever modicum of restraint Keefe had been straining to hold onto like a log in a hurricane.

Keefe lowered himself to the ground, forehead pressing into the wood as he covered his head with his arms, fingers digging into his skin as the sobs broke loose, his body shuddering as he struggled to get enough breath into his lungs to scream his anguish into being.

And all they could do was be there with him.

All that could escape his mouth were garbled, pained sounds, the force of his confounded pain building and building and building with not enough outlets, strong enough that Sophie nearly fell back in shock, free hand grabbing at her temple as a wave of what she could only describe as raw, furious grief washed through the mindbubble, tearing along those delicate webs tying them all together and exploding like a bomb through her senses.

It rippled outward, pain upon pain upon pain, and she could feel the sparks of recognition from everyone else, the light that went off in their mind as their attention turned inwards. She got swept up in the wave, shoved out of her own consciousness and into the delicate yet sturdy balance maintained between them all. Like tightropes tied between them all, knots holding them together. Sure, they could be separated, but it’d take something sharp.

Keefe--

--ucks--and in the middle of all--

What do we even--

--how do--help?

Everyone’s thoughts poured over her, rushing through her mind like a torrent from a newly fallen dam. All nonsensical and insurmountable, she couldn’t find a way to orient herself, only aware of the grief grief grief washing over everything and trying to drown her to death with a gentle scream of a lullaby.

It’s bad, isn’t it, Fitz voice sounded suddenly, a moment of calm, something clear among the washed out white-noise of Keefe Keefe Keefe filling her head.

Very, she whispered back. I don’t know what to do. I’m…I don’t know what to do.

Me either, Fitz admitted. I want…I want to be there, but I don’t know if he wants me there. He’s always been so distant when it comes to his family, especially with me. I don’t know if I’m the right person…

This sucks so bad. I don’t know what to do for him--I don’t want him to think he’s alone.

They lapsed into silence after a moment and she could feel Fitz debating with himself in his head; give Keefe space so he could work through his emotions without any pressure to pretend to be okay for someone else and risk that he’d do something stupid, or find him to offer support upfront and risk overwhelming him because everyone else would have the same reaction.

Memories flashed through his head of broken things, a broken room, a broken mirror. Mr. Snuggles stuffed under his bed until that nightmare that’d gotten bad enough he’d needed him. Screaming and yelling and his mother’s broken sobs echoing through the halls, her desperation in the kitchen and all the photos she’d thought would bring him back. Biana, clothes plain and wrinkled as days-old tears sat against her skin, hair unwashed and pulled out of the way. Pulled out of the way so you could see her blank expression, like there was nothing and everything going on in her head and all she could do was sit there, stone still, not even twitching.

He’d nearly lost a parent, too.

Fitz and Biana almost lost Alden for good, Linh and Tam had been abandoned by both their parents, Wylie had lost his mom to the grave and his father to a broken mind, and Sophie had left behind an entire family before she could find this new one.

And now Keefe’s mom was just as gone.

The ache in her chest made her want to seek out her own parents once again, to hold them close and make them promise nothing would ever happen to them, as impossible a promise as that would be.

Before she could say anything to Fitz, a tapping against her skin drew her attention away, reached out to her through the deluge and into the little bubble of safety between the two of them, and started dragging her away with a start.

A shuddering breath fell from her lips as she all at once became aware of the wet floral scent of the air, the midday light crawling through the windows, the grains of wood pressing against her skin, the buzz of her wings agitated at her back, the salt in the air from red eyes and swollen sobs, the grief permeating the air.

“You okay?” Wylie asked, retracting his hand from where it had been tapping at her knee.

“I’m--wha--yeah? I’m…good,” she said, glancing around, reorienting herself. “How long was I in there?” she asked, rubbing her fingers across her eyes like she could reach through her eye sockets to her brain and smack some sense into it.

“Fifteen…twenty minutes?” he surmised, though he wasn’t paying much attention to her.

His focus was on Keefe, who had his forehead pressed to Wylie’s collarbone, as though he’d collapsed into his embrace and hadn’t figured out how to get back up.

Wylie’s hand was rubbing soothing circles onto Keefe’s back, who had gone quiet--at least for the moment. Sophie had always had a tendency to push things down enough to be quiet only to be assaulted by the thoughts of everything haunting her later, dragging her down just when she’d thought she’d worked through it. Maybe Keefe was the same.

His wings still burned deep black, absorbing all the light shining across them from the open window, feathers bumping against each other and overlapping, mussed in a way that must’ve been painful, but he didn’t do anything about it.

The lightning strikes of blue had stayed, though. Delicate threads of ice snaking their way through and around the feathers like a marbled pattern, pulsing in time with his heartbeat.

“Sorry,” Keefe’s voice croaked out, barely audible against Wylie’s chest.

“You haven’t done anything,” she assured him, gentle. They’d need to be extra gentle with him, she just didn’t know what would happen because of it.

Keefe made a humming noise that said he didn’t agree with her, but wasn’t going to argue. Even though she didn’t want to argue either, she didn’t like the thought that he’d internalize her brief lost wandering in the shared mental space as some grave mistake of his own. Seriously, all it had taken was a tap on the knee to bring her back, and the experience itself hadn’t been stressful.

But Keefe was stubborn.

“Is there anything that we--that I can do for you right now? If you need space or time, or to talk…please don’t push us away, okay? We’re all here. Everyone. Even Tam.” She hadn’t specifically talked to Tam about it, but she still knew it was true without a doubt. Their friendly feud was easily set aside when it really mattered.

Keefe didn’t respond for a long moment, long enough Sophie nearly abandoned her commitment to keep her distance, regardless of the emotions she’d surely barrage him with if she hugged him in his already vulnerable state, but then he lifted his head.

“I need a distraction. Can you…can you bring me to the facility? The one with my…with the being. And bring that riddle while you’re at it.”

[imherongraystairstrash]

Find The Way Home (Thomas Lightwood Fanfic)

Extended tlh Lightwood family fluff about Thomas being accused for murder! (Never thought I'd put an exclamation after saying someone was being accused for murder) It's super long, so I split it into two parts!

...

Bridgestock pushed Thomas in front of him, leading him towards the institute like he was a prisoner. Well, technically, Bridgestock might have believed he was a prisoner even though he wasn’t. Thomas couldn’t quite breathe properly. Though he knew he was innocent, the shock of being found in that situation, the feeling of being treated like a murderer, brought out a fear in him he thought he had already grown out of.

They made it to the top steps, before the doors opened to reveal Cecily standing behind them.

“Maurice, what is the meaning of this?” She said. She had the strange ability to direct all of the anger of the world onto Maurice, and look at Thomas worriedly at the same time.

“We’ve caught ourselves the little murder.” Bridgestock said proudly.

Cecily’s jaw dropped, looking at Bridgestock as though he’d grown another head. “Ha-have you gone mad?” She said incredulously. “Release my nephew and let’s discuss this rationally.”

“I’m not going to release a murderer.”

“That wasn’t a suggestion, Maurice. He’s a child.” She said icily.

“He’s not a child anymore, Cecily. He’s quite grown. And we found him in the act! Look, even his hands are shaking.”

Thomas’ hand were shaking. He couldn’t stop thinking about how Lilian Highsmith had just died in his arms.

“That’s because he’s covered in blood. Because you’ve tied his hands and have most likely been parading him around the streets like some prized lamb up for slaughter, accusing him of a crime he most certainly didn’t commit.” Cecily said angrily. She turned to Bridget. “Ring Sophie and Gideon, please. This is ridiculous.”

“I already have, miss. They should be here soon.”

“Cecily, you’re being biased. Thomas Lightwood is your godson—”

“Exactly.” Cecily said. “That means I’ve known him my entire life and I know a murderer when I see one. You’re insulting my intelligence by contradicting me.”

“I’m not insulting you; he’s tricked us all, making us think he was a kind, innocent giant of a boy, when in reality, he is a ruthless killer.”

“This conversation has gone to the dogs.” Cecily said. “You’re being an absolute idiot and you know it. Now release him. You should hope for all of your sakes that you weren’t the reason behind those injuries on him.”

“I most certainly will not.” Bridgestock scoffed.

“Bridgestock, what the hell are you doing?” Gabriel said, quickly coming down the institute staircase to where they all were standing.

“He thinks Thomas is the murderer.” Cecily said, bitterly.

Gabriel laughed. “You can’t be serious.” When he saw that nobody was laughing, he stopped. “Are you serious?”

Cecily pressed her lips together tightly, glaring at Bridgestock.

“This is idiotic. And why the Hell is he tied up like at?

“Your wife just told you; he’s a murder suspect.”

“Thomas?” Gabriel said, “you could literally have brought any other shadowhunter here, and I’d believe it more than if it were Thomas.”

“It doesn’t matter if you believe it or not. There is concrete evidence that he is the murder.”

“What evidence?” Gabriel said.

While Gabriel and the inquisitor began to brawl, Cecily seized her opportunity and rushed over to Thomas.

“Are you alright?” she asked, checking for injuries with efficiency few people could express. “Is all of this blood yours?”

Thomas shook his head. He felt cold all over. “Aunt Cecy, I didn’t kill—”

Cecily shook her head. “Of course you didn’t, bach. Just breathe, you’re looking pale. Do you want water? I’ll go get—”

“No, please don’t go.” He said. He felt like a child. He hadn’t been so desperate to see anyone as he was now.

Cecily looked at him. “No, of course not. I need you to take deep breaths, Tom. Gideon and Sophie will be here soon, and we’ll get you right out. ”

She took out a stele and was about to draw an iratze rune on his skin to heal his cuts when Bridgestock pulled Thomas away from Cecily. “I didn’t give you permission to engage with him.”

“Oh, you piece of-” Cecily let out a string of curses that filled the institute and left the shadowhunters speechless. “Get your filthy hands off of him before I rip them out of their sockets and shove them down your throat.” Her eyes might as well have been the blue fire from hell. Even Bridgestock looked uneasy.

“He is under suspicion for a crime.”

“It’s alright, Aunt. He won’t listen no matter what. Let him take me to the sanctuary; It’s only fair.” His voice came out more breathless than he would have liked, but at least everybody listened.

Gabriel accompanied Thomas and the other shadowhunters and Cecily waited by the doorway, perhaps for his parents.

The truth was, after some of the initial shock was gone, Thomas was able to understand that this wasn’t too bad. It would be okay because he’ll most likely—no, definitely— be tried with the mortal sword, and be found innocent.

When the sanctuary doors opened, Thomas told himself one thing: Everything would be just fine.

…

“What is the meaning of this?”

A few minutes after being seated in the sanctuary, Thomas looked up relieved to be seeing his mother’s familiar face.

The question directed at Bridgestock, but she looked at Thomas.

“Your son is being held under suspicion.”

“This is utter nonsense.” Gideon said, stand behind Sophie.

Sophie started towards Thomas.

“Stop! You mustn’t—”

“I suggest you do not come in between my son and I, Maurice. The numbers are not in your favor.” Sophie said, referring to the rest of the Lightwoods behind her: Gabriel, Cecily, Eugenia, Gideon, even little Alexander, in Eugenia’s arms, was looking mutinous.

The inquisitor didn’t stop Sophie as she made her way to Thomas.

“Mother,” Thomas said, “I didn’t do it. I didn’t kill anyone.”

“I know, Thomas. Of course you didn’t.” Sophie said, putting her arms around him.

It was comforting to have his mother embrace him. It felt human, after all of the mess of what has been happening. To smell the familiar scent of her perfume; to be able to rest his head on her shoulder.

“Alright, that’s enough.” Bridgestock said, interrupting.

Cecily cursed at him in Welsh.

“What did she say?” he demanded

“It doesn’t matter.” Gabriel said dismissively.

Bridgestock seemed about to retort, when he suddenly looked around the room. “Where the hell is Gideon?”

“He went to get the Consul.” Sophie said, pulling away from the hug. “She’ll make a rational decision about this matter.”

Bridgestock was fuming. “Well, I’m going too. Everybody clear the room.”

“Why would we do that?” Eugenia said.

“Because I’m not leaving a criminal out in the open.” He said. “Especially when you are bound to free him.”

“We are temporary heads of the London Institute, Bridgestock.”

“And I’m your permanent Inquisitor.” He said. “And you must do as I say.”

He stared at Sophie.

She clenched her jaw and turned to Thomas. “We’re going to get you out, alright? Charlotte will know what to do and then this will all be behind you and you can come home, darling.” She gave him a tight hug and kissed his forehead before she headed towards the door.

“We must tie him up.”

Eugenia was fuming. Sophie looked calm, but the scarred side of her face twitched. Cecily’s fists were clenched and Gabriel was about to say something when Thomas spoke.

“It’s okay. Let him bind me to the chair.” Thomas offered them a weak smile. “It can’t hurt me.”

A shadowhunter tightened ropes around his wrists while another tied his legs to the chair. Thomas realized the fault in his statement when he noticed how tight they were making the knots; how they were digging into his skin. Sophie looked like she wanted to go to him and cut the knots off. She looked like it caused her pain to see him like this. He wanted to say something to comfort her, but could think of nothing.

They still looked at each other as the shadowhunters finished and the doors of the sanctuary closed, leaving Thomas alone.

…

“Is it stupid,” Cecily said, “that he insisted on locking Thomas in the Sanctuary when we have the key?” She held up said key and gave it to Eugenia.

“I wouldn’t recommend you go in, of course, because that could very well raise Bridgestock’s suspicions, but at least we can control who gets in.”

Eugenia threw her aunt a wide grin and stalked away from the room. Both women smiled as they watched Eugenia leave. When the door closed, Cecily turned to Sophie.

“How are you?” she asked her, shifting Alexander from one hip to the other.

“The shock of seeing my son tied up to a chair and treated like a criminal is wearing off.” Sophie said, reaching out to brush Alex’s silky, raven curls away from his forehead. “I know he’s innocent and that he’ll get out in no time, but I can’t help but worry. He’s not a baby anymore, but he’s my child and I can’t help but stress that he’s in that wretched sanctuary.” Sophie turned her gaze away from Alexander to Cecily.

“I have terrible memories for that room from my time working as a maid in the Institute. Of struggling against clockwork creatures, of being pulled across the floor. Some memories are so deep in your mind that you forget they exist, until something triggers them to come back.”

Cecily took Sophie’s hand.

“I don’t want him to be in there by himself.” Sophie said. “And he’s going to have to spend the night there because the only way Bridgestock will let him go is if he is tried with the mortal sword, and it’s in Paris with Will and Tessa and—”

“Sophie.” Cecily said, setting Alexander down on the floor and sitting Sophie down on a chair. “You know better than I that Thomas is strong. If anybody can stay in The Sanctuary, alone all night, it’s your son.”

Sophie nodded. “Yes, I know. It’s just that…” She bit her lip. “He’s my son. I can’t help but worry.”

Cecily knelt down in front of her and grabbed her hands tightly. “I know it’s frightening. We mothers never stop worrying. But I want you to know that Thomas will be released tomorrow at the latest, and until then, he’ll be alright.”

Sophie squeezed Cecily’s hand back.

“You're right. It can’t be worse than anything we Lightwood women haven’t endured yet.”

Cecily got up and hugged her fiercely.

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[extremelyblackandwhite]

handmaid - 10

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap, mentions of violence, gun mentioning

A/N: i love to write this particular dynamic because i get to put some anna karenina vibes into this. hope you enjoy this chapter xxx

NEXT CHAPTER

Y/N had one favourite movie in the whole entire world. 

You know the movies that make a cloudy, upset day immediately turn sunny and warm? Those movies which are the equivalent of a warm cup of cocoa accompanied by your favourite dessert? That movie for Y/N had always been The Princess Diaries and in her teenage innocent she had memorised that immortal quote “You know, in the old movies, whenever a girl would get seriously kissed, her foot would just kind of… pop.”. Much to her disappointment, during her first kiss at a particularly bad game of spin the bottle with a guy named Joshua Davies, her foot had not moved, her body had even been particularly stiff to that emotion that she had been looking for since she was younger. With Sebastian however, it felt like a million fireworks had set off the moment her lips touched his and just like Mia had promised, there it was ... the little pop of the foot. At that point, it didn’t cross her mind that he was engaged, that she was working and had known his bride to be for ages. At that point, Y/N was Y/N and he was the guy who had gotten her the most precious thing in her life.

It was a gentle kiss full of need as if both of them had been holding out kissing each other ever since they turned of age. It was Y/N, however, who broke the kiss for the much needed oxygen. The innocence in the eyes, the flush that had spread itself and her partially parted lips looked exactly like something Sebastian had dreamed about. He put his hands on her waist, taking a step forward until her back was against the wall. This action caused her to let go a little squeak, the nerves finally starting to settle down. Before she could withdraw from the confines of her mind and maybe escape, he was already kissing her again with much more need than before. Y/N felt helpless in that situation as she came to hold his hands, Sebastian however had another plan, grabbing her hands and holding them above her head. 

This time he was the one who broke up the kiss to stare at her, to make sure this wasn’t some fantasy, some hallucination caused by lack of sleep mixed with the alcohol from every meeting. It was no fantasy, she was standing right there between him and a wall, breathe unruly and faint. 

     - This is wrong. - she looked to her feet, hands coming to tangle themselves in her hair. 

    - Makes no difference. - his point finger lifted her chin so she could stare at him with those wondrous eyes. 

    - You’re engaged.

    - Makes no difference. 

    - I have to go. - she needed to go but her body was betraying her, continuing between him and a wall. - Can I go?

    - Do you wanna go? - her eyes briefly looked into his. They looked calm, almost realised with that beautiful light blue reflecting every single beam of light in that bedroom. 

There is a moment in your life where right and wrong merge into a grey area. Things aren’t right and they’re not completely wrong either, they just stand hand in hand, dancing in some sort of never-ending waltz. Y/N had read about those areas several times, seen those circumstances have a strong hold on the type of environment she had been born in, however, she always thought she would guide herself by the moral right and not find herself in the grey area. Nevertheless, here she was, in the grey area. Gwen definitely had her fair share of affairs. God, she was possibly having one right now, yet that didn’t mean Y/N should be allowed to just go on and have an affair with her friend’s fiancé. 

Before her heart would win over her head, she managed to escape from between Sebastian and the suite’s wall, walking rather fast towards the door. Her mind was speeding too fast going through all the possibilities and all the things Gwen would do to her if she figured out she was making out with her husband. Not that she would care but ever since they were children what was Gwen’s was Gwen’s and that was final. 

Entering her bedroom, Y/N sank into her duvet, turning around so she was facing the ceiling. Giddily, she sat up, hands on her face as her lips stretched into a child like smile. Her mind was screaming at her for this wrong doing but her heart was just soaring. Kissing him felt like never before, like some tension which had finally broke and spread out. She felt giddy and weak at the knees in a form that she’d never experienced, even with the little childhood crushes and first kiss. 

Through her giddiness, she didn’t even hear her phone ring until it rang once more. With a swift movement, she picked it up, answering the phone to a very familiar voice. 

    - Dan. - her face lit up. - How are you? 

    - Good, I’ve been trying to call you for the past hour. Is everything alright? 

    - Yeah. - she sighed, cuddling against her very soft duvet. - Me and Gwen are in Paris, but I’m sure she’s spoken with you already. 

    - Yeah, I heard. Just checking on you, haven’t heard much since you moved in with the Stan family. 

    - It’s not much of a family, more of an individual, but it’s been a very nice time. He’s been polite to me and Gwen, if that’s what you’re worried about. - she bite on her lip, knowing what Daniel thought of Sebastian. - You should come to visit. Bring Sophie with you, I’m sure she’d love to come to the Upper East. 

    - I don’t think Sebastian or Gwen would enjoy having her older brother around. 

    - That’s crazy, you’re family, besides, I’d love to see Sophie. 

    - Okay, Y/N. I’ll speak with Gwen and when you’re back from France maybe we can schedule something.

    - You better not be lying, Daniel. 

    - Never. Goodnight, Y/N.

    - Night, Dan. 

She turned the phone off, sliding down to lay into her bed. Soon enough, sleep came to her and with it and with that the regrets were set free. She was peacefully sleeping when a loud banging noise woke her up. By instinct she got up, shielding herself with her sheets. Her mind was screaming at her not to investigate and was she was about to return to sleep, another loud noise came through. Her more awake self could distinguish this as a gunshot which made her jump out of bed, looking for a place to hide which ended up being under the bed, hands on top of her head. 

   - Y/N! - her door was broke down open, the voice coming from Sebastian. She peaked from under the bed to ensure it was him and as her eyes confirmed it was him, she shifted from under the bed. Sebastian quickly grabbed her wrist, pulling her down the hall. Her eyes went down to the shining revolver in his hand and she wondered if it had been that causing the gunshots. At that stop, she pressed the heels of her feet against the floor, slowing them down. - Do you wanna get hurt? Is that it?

   - Did you shoot someone? - she could hear various steps from the floor above, making her shiver at the realisation that maybe she wasn’t as safe as she thought she was.

   - No but someone will shot you and me if you don’t keep running. - Sebastian kept trying to push her but she stood immobile there.

   - What about Gwen? I need to go to Gwen.

   - Oh, for fucks sake ... - he shoved his gun between his trousers and grabbed Y/N by her waist, taking her by surprise, before throwing him on his shoulder. Before she could start to protest her mishandling, he got back to rushing out of the building and onto the hotel’s fire escape, locking the door behind him. She could barely see what was happening due to her position and as she recovered from the impact, he had already thrown her in the backseat of a car, locking the door and entering the front. 

   - Where is Gwen?! - she pushed herself from the very nice leathered seats, throwing her seat belt on as he started to speed. - I heard gunshots, where is Gwen?

   - Gwen is with Elias and the other bodyguards. Bottom feeders are trying their hand at a fucking overtake. - he was driving pretty fast, fast enough to make her slide in the backseat even with the seatbelt on. 

   - Where are we going? 

   - As far away from the hotel as possible. Don’t worry, I’ll call Elias once we stop driving so you can talk to Gwen. 

   - Is she okay? Mr. Forrest will have my head if I ...

   - They would’ve had your head if you would’ve stayed there. I told you many times that whomever shots at Gwen will normally shot at you too.

She kept to herself, hand over her necklace. They drove from what seemed like half hour or so until Sebastian parked by what looked like a park and took his phone off his pocket. Y/N remained on the inside of the car, the gunshot still widely present on his mind, along with all of today’s events. It was too much.

She opened the door of the car and leaned against it, eyes fixated on the horizon as her mind ran at the highest setting it could. Before Sebastian could hand her the phone for her to speak with Gwen, she started to cry, face buried immediately on her hands. 

   - I’ll talk to you later. - Sebastian tossed his phone on the car, gently wrapping his arms around her. - It’s okay, you’re safe, Gwen’s safe. 

   - No, it’s too much. - she pushed away, cleaning what tears hadn’t fallen in her hands. - It’s too much. You’re Gwen’s husband, you should’ve gone to Gwen not to me. She could’ve gotten hurt. 

   - Are you listening to yourself? Can you even say a single sentence where you’re not speaking about Gwen? Have you even been selfish in your life?

   - I owe her my life.

   - You don’t owe anyone shit. So what if the Forrests decided to raise you that was their choice not yours. You don’t have to give them your life just because they raised you.

   - But they ...

   - You are no one’s property just because they did the decent thing and you are definitely not responsible for Gwen’s safety much less her actions or her well being. Maybe you grew up being taught that but not anymore. What happens to Gwen is my responsibility and if she’s injured, I will answer to Mr. Forrest, not you. 

   - You don’t understand. - she was frustrated with him. Why? She wasn’t entirely sure. Maybe he was right and her brain did not want to wrap itself around the truth because at the end of the day if she’s not taking care of Gwen ... who is she even? - They sent me to the best schools, paid my university tuition, my driver’s license, my phone. Everything. 

   - Even if they bought you a city, you don’t owe anyone your life. Were you really ready to have stood there in the crossfire just because of Gwen?

   - She wouldn’t let me die. - she huffed like an upset child, arms crossed over her chest. He had to give it to her, she was fiercely loyal but also very very innocent when it came to people’s intentions. 

   - She would’ve used you as a human shield, Y/N. Did she ever ask you what you wanted to do ever since you arrived?

   - No. 

   - I will never, ever let anyone harm you. Even if it means I’ll have to go against my wife. 

tag list:​ @lilya-petrichor​ @xoxohannahlee @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater @nikkipea @madisonpillstrom​ @cevans98​ @thelostallycat​ @sideeffectsofyou​ @anxiousdreamersworld​

[justthehiddleswrites]

Stood Up | Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Summary:   Reader has the worst taste in men. Fortunately, Tom is there to pick up the pieces. He is such a good friend but what if he wants to move out of the friendzone and into something more?

Warnings: Fluff and Humor, Drinking, Bad Boyfriends, bad taste in men, Mutual Pining, Implied Smut, Blind Date

-

Tom was just getting ready to sit down for a late dinner when his phone buzzed against the table. His brow furrowed. He wasn’t expecting any calls this late. Luke would just show up on the stoop and pound on the door until he answered. And besides, he had done nothing in the last few days to incur the trademark Windsor wrath.

He smiled when he saw your photo on his screen. That ridiculous photo he snapped of you at your birthday last year. He tapped the screen to take the call.

“Date going that well?” Tom retorted with a giggle.

“Can you come and get me?” you sobbed into the phone.

“What happened?” Tom stood to his feet, dinner forgotten as he slipped his shoes back on and grabbed his keys.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fine, of course, whatever. Where am I heading?” He was already halfway out the door.

“The usual spot.”

“I’ll be there in ten.”

Tom got there in eight minutes.

-

You paced outside the pub as Tom pulled up to the sidewalk. You walked around and slid into the front passenger seat before Tom could get out.

He noticed the mascara streaking down your cheeks. He reached for you, but you pulled away.

“Just drive please, Tom. I will explain later.”

Tom shifted into drive and took off down the road. He drove in silence. At the first red light, he leaned away to fish a handkerchief out of his back pocket.

“Here.”

“Thank you.” You blew your nose and wiped away most of your now ruined makeup.

“Can I at least get his name?”

“Shawn.”

“Shawn.” Tom repeated, his grip tightening on the steering wheel.

Tom didn’t bother asking where to take you. He knew the answer. He always knew. Tom pulled the car into his driveway and switched off the engine. This time you let him open the door and help you out of the car.

Once inside, he set about making you a cup of tea. He placed the cup in front of you, steam trailing up towards the ceiling.

“So?” Tom questioned as he sipped from his own mug.

A solitary tear rolled down your cheek. Followed by another. And then soon a flood. “He stood me up.”

“I’ll kill the bastard.” Tom slammed his fist on the table.

You chuckled. “You always say that.”

“I always mean it. Tell me the rest.”

“I cried for thirty minutes at the bar before the bartender took pity on me.” You hiccuped before taking another sip of your tea. “He gave me free drinks for the rest of the night.”

Tom pulled you close and cradled you against his chest. “I am so sorry, darling. Would you like to crash here tonight?”

You nodded. “That would be nice, thank you.”

Tom smiled and placed your empty cup next to his. “Your clothes are in the bureau in the spare bedroom and the bathroom is stocked.”

You rose and leaned over and kissed Tom’s cheek. His eyes squeezed closed. “You are too good to me, you realize that right?” you commented, a smile returned to your face.

Tom smiled back, his heart sinking. “I’m just being a good friend.”

“A best friend. See you in the morning?”

“Of course!” his smile remained tightlipped. “If I am not back from my run, make yourself at home.”

You hugged him once again before heading off to shower and sleep. Tom sat at the table for a while longer, head in hands and heart heavy.

-

You woke the next morning to a pounding headache and an empty stomach. Last night’s memories flooded back to you. You rolled over with a groan.

“Fuck….” you moaned as you sat up and stretched out. Your back cracked and your shoulders relaxed.

You stood and grabbed the spare robe you stashed in the closet and headed to the kitchen. The sound of music filtered through the house along with the smells of bacon and coffee.

Tom stood at the stove, his spoon acting as a microphone as he belted out a song.

“Bye, bye love...” His hips swayed to the guitar strum. “Bye, bye happiness.”

Tom continued to dance, and you leaned against the door frame, enjoying the show. Tom spun on his heel and stopped when he saw you. He dropped the spoon to his side.

“How long have you been standing there?” he questioned.

“Long enough to question whether you missed your calling as a singer.” you giggled as you made your way to the coffee, pouring a large mug.

“Hilarious. I hope you have an appetite.”

“Always.” You snagged a piece of bacon as Tom swatted at your hand.

“Sit.” He gestured to the table. “It will just be another moment.”

You went to snag more bacon, but Tom caught your hand this time.

“Fine.” you pouted.

Tom smiled as he spied you heading towards the table. This was his favorite time. The morning after. Just the two of you. How he wished it could always just be the two of you. Every morning and every night.

“Eat up.” Tom plopped the plate filled with a full English breakfast.

“The Hiddleston special.” You tucked in, and Tom did the same.

You thought as you chewed your food. You thought throughout the entire breakfast. Your furrowed bow did not go unnoticed by Tom.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked as he cleared the plates.

You contemplated whether or not to lie.

“Why do I always pick the wrong guy?”

Tom was grateful he was facing away from you when you blurted out your question because his face would have given his feelings away. He took a moment to compose himself before turning to face you.

“Oh come on, they all weren’t as bad as this last guy. What about that one bloke name started with a ‘c’? Connor?”

“Charles.” you grimaced.

Tom snapped. “Charles! He seemed all right.”

You slumped in your chair. “I never told you, did I?”

“Told me what?” Tom sat down.

“Remember how I took those three weeks off a few years ago?”

“You said something about needing to use up some vacation time.”

“Well I lied. I had an accident.”

Tom grabbed your hand. His thumb running along your knuckles. “An accident? Why didn’t you call? I could have—”

“You were in Vietnam, remember?” you smiled, placing your hand on top of his, stilling his nervous gesture.

“Right.” Tom lowered his head in guilt. He should have been here. For you. “What does this have to do with Charles? I thought he broke up with you.”

“Not exactly. When I called to tell him about the accident, on the way to hospital he stopped and had a pint with some of his mates.” A big tear fell from your eye.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” Tom yelled at the top of his lungs. “WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“He was supposed to meet them. He stopped on the way to tell them he couldn’t stay.” you made excuses.

“AND DRANK A FUCKING PINT?!” Tom seethed. If he knew it wouldn’t break his hand, he would punch the wall right now.

“The important thing is…” you hissed. “… this just demonstrates I have rubbish taste in men.”

Tom’s demeanor softened as he recognized the hurt and pain in your voice. He pulled to his side, holding you tight. “All it takes is one good one.”

“Is that all? Is it that simple?” You gave a hollow laugh. Tom continued to hold you tight. The seconds ticked by and you found yourself not wanting to leave his side. You cleared your throat. “I should head back to my place.”

“Right!” Tom nervously wiped his hands on his jeans. “Can I take you to lunch this week? My treat.”

“I’ll have to check my schedule.” You turned to leave. Tom grabbed your wrist.

“Just so you know,” Tom’s eyes wide. “if you ever were in an accident, I wouldn’t stop for a beer.” You nodded and attempted to leave, but Tom held his grip tight. “I wouldn’t stop for red lights.”

“Good to know.” you gulped.

-

Benedict stopped by later that day at Tom’s request.

“I can see by your face you still haven’t told her your true feelings.” Ben pulled a beer from the fridge.

“How can I now, Ben? We have been friends for over four years! If that is not being friend zoned, I’m not sure what is.”

Ben grabbed a second beer from the fridge and handed it to Tom, who gladly accepted it.

“True, but how many of your female friends call you when their date goes wrong?” Tom opened his mouth to respond, but Benedict held up a hand to cut him off. “Or keeps clothes in the bureau in your spare room? Or cancels a vacation to see your opening night performance?”

“She told me the resort closed because of a fire?!”

“She told Sophie the truth. Who told me. Soph swore me to secrecy.”

“You rat.”

“My point is… “ Ben gave Tom a knowing glance. “… this is not normal friend behavior.”

“I guess you’re right.” Tom conceded.

“I am right. Plus Sophie may or may not have mentioned that she compares all her dates to you.”

“I thought the two of you were my friends!” Tom scoffed, throwing his hands in the air. “I’ve known you longer.”

“But I like her better. And so does Soph. She doesn’t eat all our food or get dog hair on the couch.”

“Give me your phone.”

“Why?” Ben fished it out of his pocket and held it close to his chest.

“I’m going to fling it across the room.” Tom lunged, but Ben jerked backwards. “I’m kidding, I need to call and talk to your wife.”

“To plot my murder?” Ben handed over the phone.

“As tempting as that is, no. I need her to set me up on a date.”

It was only then the look of horror left Benedict’s face.

-

You chatted with Sophie as you walked to the pub.

“Are you sure I will like this William guy?”

“I’m positive, dear.” Sophie assured you over the phone. “He is just your type.”

“That is what you said about Shawn and Eric and—”

“Okay, so my matchmaking skills have been crap but this guy is different.”

“How? How is this guy different from every other loser you set me up with?”

“Well for one, you have already met this loser.” Sophie snapped back.

“When?”

“Years ago. At a party at our house. I remember the two of you getting into quite a heated conversation.”

Your brows knitted as you tried to place this conversation. The only person who you have those kinds of conversations with is Tom. But again, when you drink you can get quite passionate.

“I will have to take your word for it. How will I recognize this guy?”

“He’ll recognize you.”

“Not stalkerish at all. After this relationship fails, I’m swearing off men.”

“Deal. But you won’t have to, because this guy is a keeper.”

“I highly doubt that, unless you are setting me up Tom which is ridiculous.”

“Completely.” Sophie scoffed. “I don’t even think he is in town right now.”

“Oh.” your voice dropped. Tom always confided in you about his travels. “He didn’t mention anything.”

“It was a last-minute trip.”

“Okay, I’m here, Soph. Wish me luck.”

“Luck has nothing to do with it.”

-

You tapped your foot anxiously against the barstool. William was twenty minutes late. You sighed as the reality that you were being stood up again sunk in.

“Excuse me, but is this seat taken?” a familiar voice asked from behind you.

“Tom!” you exclaimed, jumping to your feet and pulling him into a hug.

“It’s good to see you!” Tom wrapped his arms around and inhaled the scent of your shampoo and perfume. His stomach fluttered with butterflies.

“Soph said you were out of town.”

“I got back in early.” he lied. “What are you doing here?”

“Getting stood up. Again.” you grumbled.

Tom slid into the seat next to you. “I wouldn’t worry I’m sure William will turn up eventually.” Tom lifted a hand to get the bartender’s attention.

Your head snapped around to glare at him. “I never mentioned his name to you. In fact, I never mentioned this date to you.”

“Are you sure?” Tom questioned. He lifted his pint glass to his lips to hide a smile.

“I’m positive. In fact, you have been avoiding my calls all week.”

“I had things I needed to do.” Tom turned to face you.

“Such as?”

“Getting ready for a big date for one.”

Your heart dropped to your shoes. It had been at least a year since Tom had been involved with anyone. You always secretly hoped you and Tom would end up together. But with each passing year, that seemed less and less likely.

“Oh, how did you go?”

“Not sure yet. How is it going?”

“How would I know?” You stared at Tom, who raised an eyebrow. “Oh, oh, OH! What are you saying Thomas William… oh!”

Tom downed the rest of his pint before trusting himself to speak again.

“I’m saying all it takes is one good guy. And a good guy wouldn’t stop for red lights if you were in an accident. Let me be your one good guy. Let it be me.” Tom spat the words out at a rapid pace. He took a deep breath as the last words left his lips.

“But we’re friends.” you countered.

“Good friends. Best friends.” Tom said. “But I want more.”

“Why did you never tell me before?”

“Fear. Stupidity. Take your pick.”

“Why now?”

“Fear. Stupidity.” Tom smiled. “Take your pick. The fact is it is you I want you to wake up next to me for the rest of my life. I want you to be my morning, noon, and night. And the first call when you are in the hospital. That is, if you will have me.” Tom reached out and placed his hand on top of yours.

You necked your drink and placed the glass on the wooden bar top before looking at Tom. He stared at you as if you held his life in your hands. In many ways you did.

You took a deep breath and exhaled. “I would like that too.”

Tom smiled and rose to his feet and leaned down to kiss you. You leaned back and wrapped your arms around his neck, teasing your fingers through his hair. Tom deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into your mouth.

A small moan escaped your lips and some patrons in the bar wolf whistled and someone yelled “get a room”.

Tom and you parted. Tom’s chest heaved. “An excellent suggestion. My place?”

“On the first date? What kind of girl do you take me for, Mr. Hiddleston?” You pushed Tom away in a playful manner.

Tom snaked his arm around your waist and pulled you tight to his side. His lips curved into a devilish smile as they ghost against your ears. “My girl. You are mine.”

His voice sent a jolt of electricity through you as he led you to the exit.