#not to say all top vi content is written that way and all top vi truthers see her that way

[mvmnbnv]

Why are top!vi truthers starting to try and act like they're in the minority and being attacked as if 99% of vi content isn't centered around her topping...

Like your stance is the fandoms standard what's the issue exactly..?

[deathbxnny]

Arcane characters saying things they'll regret during an argument with you. | Vi, Caitlyn, Jinx, Ekko, Sevika x Gn!Reader

(Part two)

Because if I can't be happy, then neither can you./j✨️

Content: Alcoholism, spoilers for season 2, heavy angst, toxic behavior, cursing, established romantic relationships, potential mentions of cheating, gaslighting/ manipulation, probably ooc idk, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns.

((Not proofread))

》VI

You hated the cycle she had trapped herself in. It was never-ending and beyond self-destructive. For a while, you tried to get her out of it by attempting to reason with her, show her the light, tell her that everything is going to be okay and to just stop with the senseless fighting. But then the heavy, out of control drinking began, and she became unrecognizable to you.

She barely spent time with you, and when she did, then it was due to an extreme hangover that you had to nurture her through before the next fight began. You were so sick of it. You couldn't take the state she was in anymore. You wanted your girlfriend back but didn't want to suffer anymore as a result of it. And so, you tried one last time to snap her out of it.

"Hey, uhm... can we talk?" You ask nervously whilst peering at her from the doorway into her room. The roaring of the crowd and indistinguishable words of the announcers buzzed over your heads, reminding you of the timelimit you had to do this right. Vi didn't turn to you and instead focused on smearing the black paint over her eyes, a dark gaze glance cast your way at your meek plea. "Make it quick. I got 10 minutes before I have to be out there again."

You took a deep breath and tried to ignore the coldness in her tone. It was so odd, so not like her. "Vi... I... I need you to stop this. I understand your pain. I really do, I... get it. But this isn't right. You're practically killing yourself here, and I can't take that anymore-" "-This topic again? I told you to fucking drop it already." She hissed with a shake of your head and something about that made you finally snap. "I care about you Vi! That's why I'm doing all of this shit for you. No one else would do as much as I did. Why can't you see that? What the hell happened to you-" Your voice was cut off by her hand slamming into a nearby wall, anger written all over her face that made you flinch away instinctively.

You had never been scared of her before and this just broke your heart further.

"Shut up! You haven't done shit for me, except for pissing me off and whining and crying about every little thing I do! How about you fuck off and leave me the hell alone instead!? The only person who ever did shit for me is Cait and look how that turned out!" Silence. Deafening silence. Except for Vi's heavy breathing. You were rendered speechless. All the years you've spent with her at her side even as children flashed through your mind, before it all stilled and went cold. Your gaze hardened, and you nodded slowly, turning away wordlessly to do as she asked. You understood now. You were always the second choice in the end.

Vi seemed to only notice that you've left once she heard her name being called from the ring above. And her heart sunk at the realisation that this time, you wouldn't be there to watch her win.

And so she didn't.

》CAITLYN

Zaun was becoming a sensitive and dangerous topic to bring up around her. Even the slightest mention of it made her face harden and earn you a dismissive hand waving all of your protests away. It also didn't help that she was pulling away from you and instead getting closer to a certain red-headed officer of hers. It was frustrating and so exhausting to deal with, on top of all the grief that hung over your heads constantly. It was driving you mad. Nothing you said got through to her.

It wasn't a secret that you disapproved of the war and the alliance with Ambessa. You could look right through her, see with a clear mind that she was up to no good. Whatever she had planned wouldn't bring either nation anything but more plight. This wasn't the right way to go about things. It wasn't humane. The people she hated were no different from you both. But she just couldn't see it the same way, her judgment clouded heavily by her need for revenge on Jinx. A singular person had shifted her perception about a whole group of people... and it was becoming suffocating. You couldn't recognize her anymore.

You were trying to find the right time to finally confront her about it fully, and thankfully, the opportunity came up one evening whilst she was going through paperwork in her office. You were pacing nervously around the room, trying to find the courage to speak your mind, but she beat you to it. "If you have something to say, then say it. I have work to do and can not be disturbed like this." She muttered, eyes focused on the sea of papers before her rather than your stilling form. Very well, she asked for it. "I... want this war to end. This isn't right."

Her hand froze before she hummed and resumed her task. "I thought we had moved on from this topic." She said calmly, not betraying how clearly irritated she was becoming. But you couldn't give up now. You'd go crazy if you did. "Caitlyn. There is no moving on from it if people are going to die as a consequence! How could you ever look away from that? Why can't you see that this is wrong? Why can't you see that Ambessa-" You stepped towards her grand desk with every word, hands coming down to push the paper she was holding away from her face. You just wanted her to finally look at you again after so long. "-Is playing with your mind!" "Enough. Don't you dare say another word."

The Kirammann stood up and towered over you, a strong hand grabbing onto your arm with a sharp shake that surprised you. Had the grief taken over her mind this badly? So much so that she couldn't see how much this was hurting you to lose her? "I demand you see reason and stop sympathizing with those treacherous animals... unless you want me to see you as one of them as well." "You think I'd betray you?" You breathed, and suddenly the realisation that you had lost her for good finally sunk in. You needed to go. Now.

Caitlyn's face sobered up at your question, yet before she could say a thing, her dear officer Nolan stepped in with a report in hand. Seeing the position you two were in, she nervously tilted her head. "Oh, my apologies, am I disturbing you-?" "-Not at all. In fact, I'm the one who's disturbing YOU. My apologies for that." Ripping your arm out of her gloved hand, you pushed past the girl and rushed out of the room.

Your girlfriend watched you disappear down the dark hallway before she straightened up and gave the officer a curt nod to go ahead with her report. But it was hard to listen to a word she was saying when Caitlyn's head was replaying the memory of your teary, heartbroken eyes over and over again.

》JINX

She didn't care about her life anymore. That was clear as day, and unfortunately, your relationship was suffering because of it. You knew that Silco's death had killed her inside, that his absence left her lost and confused. But you were so desperate to keep her together. So much so that you were practically destroying yourself for her well-being. Eventually, this boiled over when she was beginning to pull away from you. You, who had always been there. You, who she always cringed onto and begged to stay with her. You only had eachother now. It was impossible to think about a life without her now.

The unhinged spark in her eye had faded away and was replaced by an empty shell of what it once was. That scared you more than you'd like to admit. "Jinx... what are you thinking of?" You asked her one night whilst you quietly snuk around the dark lanes of your home. She didn't respond at first, and your eyes were focused on the back of her hooded head, wondering if she even heard you. But you know she had, when she came to a sudden stop. "... I... I think we should part ways, sweetheart. This ain't gonna go over well forever." She said in that hauntingly calm voice you've grown to hate. And you'd be lying if you said that you didn't see this coming.

"But why? We've always been together through everything. This isn't any different-" "-But it is! It's over! Jinx is over!" Facing you, you near flinched at her glowing, violet eyes, heart beating against your chest. She would never hurt you. You knew she wouldn't. And yet... you found yourself ever so slightly stepping away. Maybe that's what set her off in hindsight. "You're gonna leave me like everyone else anyway. Might as well beat ya to it-" "-I would never do that! What has gotten into you? You should know better than to think that-" "-You're scared of me, ain't ya?" You pressed your lips together when you realised that her mental state had gotten much worse than you expected.

She was losing it.

"In fact, I bet you're thinking of me the same way Vi does. You'll be so much happier without me. But... actually... what if you're going to backstab me like her one day?" The look on your face must've been horrific enough to sober her scrambled mind then because even she seemed to be unsure of what she's saying. And yes, you knew she wasn't doing well. You knew she was just saying things without thinking them through. But you were sick of it. So tired of it all. She could practically read your mind.

"W-wait, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, I-" "-Okay... you're right. We truly would be better off going our separate ways." You were stepping away from her quicker now, and then you were running, your view becoming blurry and unintelligible. "WAIT NO, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME, I DIDN'T MEAN IT, I-" Jinx screamed after you, her breathing heavy and uneven, but she didn't go after you. She knew she had lost that right the second she opened her mouth.

You disappeared into the lanes, for the first time ever sprinting away from rather than towards her. And like the Jinx she was, she had screwed up another good thing up for herself. Perhaps deservingly this time.

》EKKO

Ekko was extremely busy with his duties lately and practically completely neglecting himself for them. It was very concerning to you and everyone, to say the least. Especially now that a war was practically forming at your front door from Piltover. And you were grateful and thankful for all he did for you. You really were. For that reason alone, you wanted him to take things easy at least sometimes to eat and sleep properly when he can. So, on the request of other members, you went to go looking for him one night before it was time for bed. He was sitting up in the tree, clearly planning to keep watch all night, like he usually did.

But you had come with a mission of your own and refused to leave until he came down to bed with you. "Ekko." You hummed as you finally reached him, a friendly smile on your lips. Balancing a nice basket of baked goods you had made yourself, you stepped towards his form that was beautifully illuminated in the moonlight. Seeing him here made you feel content and relieved since you were barely seeing each other to begin with anymore. Which you have been trying to be understanding about.

"I know what you're here for, and the answer is still no." The young man sighed with a shake of his head and frown. You weren't the first one to come by, that's for sure. "Hey... you know this isn't healthy. We're counting on you to stay strong for us, and you can't be that if you're starving yourself." You say with a slight falter to your smile, yet you tried to keep your tone playful and light. He, on the other hand, did not.

"I already told you that it's a no. Now go to bed and let me work." "But I made you these and-" "-I said, no." He hissed out, and that took you aback. He never raised his voice at you, nor did he ever have an attitude with you either. But the stress was getting to him badly, and so was the lack of sleep. "Why can't you just get that? How many times do I have to say it to get it through your thick skull? The least you could do is go and make yourself somewhat useful by patrolling, instead of wasting your time with this."

Oh, how his words cut you deep. Rationally, you knew that everything was just getting too much for him. But it didn't stop you from feeling hurt anyway, as your lip wobbled, and you slammed the basket on a nearby desk before quickly taking your leave wordlessly. Ekko froze at that and reached out to you, your name on the tip of his tongue, but the guilt stopped him from saying a thing.

"Fuck!" He cursed at himself, as he rubbed the bridge of his nose with a disappointed sigh. He definitely was losing it... and you unfortunately had to unfairly take the brunt of it.

》SEVIKA

"What did I tell you about running off when I tell you to stay put? You could have fucking died out there and then what?" Sevika was angry at you. Not that you could necessarily blame her since you did nearly get killed by an Enforcer earlier. But you had no real choice in this. You swore you didn't mean for this to happen. It was supposed to just be a quick errand run. You wanted to make her something nice for dinner, spoil her a little as a thank you for all the work she was putting into Zaun. Yet you couldn't explain any of this with the way she didn't let you even say a word now from the anger running in her veins. In fact, you had never seen her this enraged before.

"I am sick and tired of you disobeying what I tell you. I can't always be there and save you from everything, you know? I got better things to do and than to babysit you all the time-" "- I'm not asking you to do that either! I'm a grown adult, I can take care of myself!" You yelled back, absolutely angry now yourself at the way she always infantilized you like this. It always the same conversation and argument over and over again. You were so sick of it. You could handle yourself just fine and have proved this before. Yet she was so hellbent on proving you wrong every time, you couldn't take it anymore!

"I'm your partner, Sev. You're supposed to treat me like an equal." "I would, if you weren't so fucking incompetent. If I wasn't there, you would've been dead. Why can't you get that? Should I spell it out for you more? Dumb it down even more?" You hated when she was being like this. It was rare for a reason, and you despised this side of her. The side that was so prideful and egotistical. And you were trying so hard not to stoop to her level. It didn't help that you were a little injured and struggling to stand as is. "I'm not in the mood for this shit, I'm literally bleeding. Can we argue about this later, please? I just wanted to surprise you with something nice for once, and I get that I was wrong, but you don't have to be so mean about it, damn it!"

The tears in your eyes were betraying you, and the embarrassment of that just made you push past her and disappear into your shared bedroom. You'll just deal with the injury yourself. Sevika stared after you in slight surprise, considering it was rare for you to yell back like that and cry at that... but the sight of the flowers and half prepared food on the kitchen counter made the regret finally set in.

Perhaps you were right after all.

[avonnimimi]

❀·°∗✧🌸✧∗°·❀

Plugged

The Series. Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |

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a/n: Finally getting somewhereeee, here’s part 3 yall @hcneymooners @wannabe-fic-reader I hope you enjoy! Remember, some things may be written in my native english dialect, if you don’t understand, comment and i’ll translate. MEN AND MINORS DNI

content: drug dealer! Vi x Black fem readers, weed, smoking, intoxication, cursing, clit rubbing (r!receiving) choking, hair pulling, dom!vi, orgasm denial? lmk if i missed anything!

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Vi didn’t take you home that night. You didn’t ask why. She pulled up to a sleek, modern apartment complex, way out of your usual league, and didn’t say a word. Just got out, opened your door, and scooped you into her arms like it was nothing.

“I can walk, Violet,” you muttered, half-hearted, pressing your hands against her chest.

“If I wanted you to walk, you’d be walking,” she shot back, voice low and firm. Her grip didn’t falter. She carried you to the elevator, setting you down only to press the button for the top floor.

When the doors opened, she led you down a quiet hallway to the sixth apartment. The second she unlocked the door, her scent hit you, warm, musky, like the kind of comfort you didn’t realize you craved. The place wasn’t spotless, but it wasn’t messy either. It was lived-in. A little chaotic, a little home.

She tugged you to the couch in the dimly lit living room, leaving only the kitchen light on. The glow softened the edges of everything, but it couldn’t soften the tension hanging heavy in the air. You sat; she sank down beside you, knees spread wide, her posture loose but guarded.

“What did you say to Tevonn?” you asked, voice quiet, searching her face. Her hand dragged down her jaw, a nervous tick.

“I reminded him he owes me six bands. Told him if he tried to bullshit me, I’d fuck him up.”

You snorted, dry and humorless. “I doubt you said it like that. You probably made it sound worse. He was apologizing.”

She shifted, legs stretching wider, her body language all deflection. But her jaw tightened, and there was something behind her eyes she didn’t let you see.

“What did you mean,” you started, hesitant, “when you said you were gonna teach Donte another lesson?” His name tasted bitter, like poison in your mouth. Like shame. You still couldn’t believe he’d tried to sell you off, like you were nothing, because he’d been fucking someone else.

Vi chuckled, a low, dangerous sound, but there was no humor in it. “Couple years ago, Donte was with my little sister.”

Your stomach dropped. “What?”

Her gaze turned sharp, focused. “He did some fuck shit. Put his hands on her.”

You stared at her, your breath caught somewhere between disbelief and horror.

“So I beat the fuck out of him. But she didn’t like that. Stayed with him. Took care of him.” Her voice was steady, but there was a storm brewing underneath. “Then Donte snitched. Told the cops about my business. That’s how I got locked up.”

Your mind reeled, the pieces falling together too fast, too heavy. You reached out, resting your hand on her shoulder. You didn’t know what to say. Before you could figure it out, she pulled you into her lap, her hands steadying you as you straddled her.

Her fingers brushed the bruise on your cheek, the one Donte left behind. Her touch was gentle, reverent. “It’s bruising,” she said quietly, her voice soft in contrast to the hardness in her eyes.

You turned your face away, shame burning in your chest. Tears welled up before you could stop them, and when they spilled, they came fast and hot, your body shaking under the weight of it all.

“Hey, hey,” Vi whispered, her hands cupping your face. Her thumbs wiped the tears as they fell, and she kissed each one away, her lips soft against your wet skin. Then she kissed the bruise, so tender it broke something in you.

You tried to speak, but your lips trembled. Vi caught it with her thumb, her touch light despite the tension in her shoulders. “Let’s smoke,” she said, her lips curving into a small, teasing smile. Normally, you’d have said no. But tonight wasn’t normal. And Vi wasn’t just anyone.

You followed her to the balcony. She rolled the joint right there, the night air cool against your skin. You watched her, mesmerized; the way her hands moved, precise and confident, the flick of her lighter, the curl of her lips as she sealed the paper. It was hypnotic. It was hot. You felt the heat pooling low in your stomach, spreading between your legs.

She handed you the spliff, and you took it without a word, inhaling deep. The smoke filled your lungs, thick and warm, pulling you out of your head. Vi rolled another for herself, letting you keep the first. By the time you were done, your body was humming, higher than you’d been in a long time. Donte’s cheap shit didn’t hold a candle to this.

Back inside, you stumbled toward the bathroom. Vi’s voice followed you. “Room’s to the left.” You didn’t answer, too focused on scrubbing the makeup off your face, washing away the night. In the bathroom, you found fresh towels and let yourself borrow them, along with a pair of her boxers and a t-shirt from her drawer.

You crawled into her bed, the sheets soft and cool against your skin. Sleep was already pulling at you when Vi walked in. “Damn, precious, made yourself at home,” she teased, her voice low and lazy. You ignored her, sinking deeper into the mattress, the high still buzzing in your veins.

She slid in beside you, her shirt gone. Your eyes caught on the tattoos covering her back, black ink curling over her muscles like a story written in another language. You stared, the sight of her stealing your breath.

“Keep looking at me like that, and we’re gonna have a problem,” she murmured, her voice rough at the edges.

You didn’t think. You just moved. Crawled on top of her, straddling her hips. Her smirk was quick, her hands finding your waist like they belonged there.

“Don’t do something you’re gonna regret, precious,” she warned, her voice low and gravelly, but her hands betrayed her, grinding your hips against hers. The friction sent a shiver through you, a shaky sigh slipping past your lips.

“You don’t even know me,” you whispered, your voice small, “but you keep taking care of me. Why?”

Her hands stilled. Her gaze caught yours, steady and unflinching. “When I like something, I take care of it.”

Something inside you broke open. You leaned in, crashing your lips against hers. Vi met you halfway, her mouth hot and demanding, her tongue tangling with yours like she’d been waiting for this. For you.

When you pulled back, breathless, she caught your face in her hands. “You sure about this?” she asked, her voice softer now, her thumb brushing along your cheek. “I know you ain’t a cheater.”

“Donte ain’t my man,” you whispered, raw and honest, the words thick in your throat. “Not anymore.”

Her lips curved into a wicked smile. “Then yeah, baby. I’m gonna take care of you.”

You crushed your lips back to hers, desperate now. Her hands gripped your hips tighter, grounding you, guiding you as you grind down against her. The friction sent sparks shooting through your body, the waistband of her pants dragging perfectly against your clit.

“mmh fuck…” you moaned, the words spilling out before you could stop them. Your head fell to her shoulder, your hips moving instinctively, chasing the pressure, chasing the high.

Vi’s hands stilled your movements, her grip firm but careful. “Don’t do something you’re gonna regret, precious,” she murmured, her voice low and husky, but there was an edge of restraint there. “You’re high. You’re hurt. Ain’t how I want this to go.”

You froze for a moment, your lip trembling, the shame coiling tight in your chest. She was right, but you needed her, so badly. “Please,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “You don’t get it. I need this. I need you.”

She stared at you, her jaw tight, her chest rising and falling with each deep breath. Her thumbs rubbed slow, deliberate circles into your hips, grounding you again. “You ain’t gotta beg me, mama,” she finally said, her voice dropping even lower, almost a growl. “But you’re gonna listen to me.”

Her hands flexed, gripping you tighter. “You cum when I say. Not before. You understand?”

You nodded, a shaky, needy sound escaping your lips. “Yes.”

“Good girl.” The words hit you like a bolt of lightning, heat flooding through you. She leaned back, her eyes dark and hungry, her smirk sharp enough to cut. “Go ahead, pretty girl. Keep grinding. Show me how bad you want it.”

You hesitated for only a second before you moved again, rolling your hips against hers. The friction was maddening, just enough to push you close, but not enough to tip you over. You whined, your hands gripping her shoulders, your movements growing more desperate.

Vi chuckled, low and throaty, her hands guiding your rhythm. “Yeah, there you go. Good girl. Keep going. Don’t stop.”

“Vi…” you whimpered, your voice breaking. “I—I need more…”

She tilted her head, her smirk widening. “You think you’ve earned more?” she teased, her tone mocking, but her hands were steady, holding you in place. “Nah. Keep going. You’re not done yet.”

You let out a frustrated whimper, but you didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop. The tension in your belly coiled tighter and tighter, your body trembling with the effort. You were so close, so fucking close, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t—

Suddenly, her hand snaked up to your throat, her fingers curling around it, firm but not tight. She pulled you closer, your foreheads almost touching. “Look at me,” she ordered, her voice sharp, commanding. Your eyes snapped to hers, wide and desperate. “You cum when I tell you too. Understand?”

You nodded quickly, a breathless “Yes,” tumbling from your lips.

Her hand slipped into the waistband of her boxers, your borrowed ones, her fingers sliding through your slick folds like she already knew every inch of you. The first touch to your clit made you jerk, a sharp gasp escaping your lips.

“Fuck, you’re so wet for me,” she muttered, her voice thick with desire. Her fingers moved in slow, deliberate circles, teasing you, building you up until you were shaking. Vi swore she was loosing her mind, finally being able to touch and feel and on your creamy pussy. “That feel good, pretty girl? That what you needed?”

“Yes,” you choked out, your hips rocking against her hand, chasing the high. “Please, Vi, please…”

She grinned, all teeth. “Not yet,” she said, her tone wicked. Her fingers slowed, keeping you teetering on the edge, the tension in your body unbearable. “You wait until I say.”

You let out a broken sob, your head falling to her shoulder, your body trembling. “Vi, I can’t—I can’t hold it…”

“Yeah, you can,” she murmured, her free hand sliding up to tangle in your hair, pulling your head back so she could see your face. “You’re gonna hold it for me, mama. You’re gonna be good for me.”

You bit your lip hard enough to draw blood, your whole body trembling with the effort to hold yourself back. And then, finally, mercifully, she leaned in, her lips brushing against your ear. “Now,” she whispered, her voice soft but commanding. “Cum for me.”

The words shattered you. Your body seized, the orgasm ripping through you like a tidal wave. You cried out, your hips bucking against her hand as she kept working you through it, her fingers relentless, her voice low and soothing in your ear.

“Yeah, that’s it. That’s my girl. Let it all out,” she murmured, her lips brushing against your temple. “Good fucking girl.”

When it was over, you collapsed against her, your body trembling, your breath coming in short, ragged gasps. She wrapped her arms around you, pulling you close, her lips pressing soft kisses to your hair.

“Go to sleep, precious,” she whispered, her voice warm, steady, grounding. “I’ll take you home in the morning.”

You didn’t answer. You just let yourself sink into her, her warmth, her scent, her presence. And for the first time in a long time, you felt safe.

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this is my original post, please don’t repost, translate, or plagiarize my work ;)

©️avonnimimi 2024

[drunkhee]

exam season sucks ──── ⵌ ENHA MAKNAES

pairing: student! enhypen maknae line x afab! reader genre: fluff , crack /swearing wc:0.4k

synopsis ; reader is stressed over exams and they try to help HYUNG LINE

sunoo ★彡

being your school's social secretary, sunoo is normally busy thursday evenings due to their student council meeting. and normally, you wouldn't mind - but this exam revision has been kicking your ass since you got home. you sent him a text, of mostly just colourful words describing how agonising it is to be studying for the exam.

sunoo's phone dings at your notification, and you swearing was an understatement here. you stringed along words in a way he was scared for his own wellbeing, knowing to never have an angry y/n. he excuses himself from the meeting and leaves early to pick up your favourite snacks and sweets.

you open the door after hearing a soft knock, revealing your boyfriend sunoo with an array of your favourites. he drops the bag in his hands and gives you a warm embrace.

'you are doing so well, my sunshine.'

jungwon ★彡

you and jungwon were studying at your local library. an exam approaching in the next few days, thankfully jungwon was also in your class and lent you his notes for the days you weren’t in or for the days you could take be bothered to write up the notes.

a loud thud echoed through the library as a result of u dropping ur head onto the table. thankfully, it was only you and jungwon as it neared the late hours of the night.

‘baby, whats wrong?’ he asks softly stroking the top of ur head. you raise your head at him and frown.

‘your notes are great but they are NOT sticking in my brain.’ you mumbled, earning a laugh from your boyfriend.

‘you shouldve said so earlier, baby. come on, let me help you.’

ni-ki ★彡

unlike his older members, ni-ki absolutely refused to go to school - or pursued anything academic. and so when his girlfriend starts crying about how difficult the upcoming exams are, he was panicking.

‘riki, i’m going to commit a crime. maybe rob a bank! and then maybe i’ll be rich and don’t need to finish school!’ you laugh, slowly going insane for every word you read.

‘no! don’t do crimes … uh, just study!’ he smiles at you, gaining a glare.

‘babe, you’re supposed to help me here and not stress me out even more!’ you cry out, u til he begins to rub his own eyes.

i’m sorry lets study together, i might cry because even i don’t know the content… at all.’ he says, taking a seat next to you.

‘but in all honesty y/n, you have nothing to worry about. i love you.’

vi's thoughts; unedited work

EXAM #1 FINISHED !! gonna be revising sm more, i have written smth up for uhhh a member dk who i want it to be yet but i have a general plot !! so might focus on that hehe …

(c) drunkhee 2024. pls don't steal/plagiarise my work ! lmk if you wanna be in my taglist!

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Love Sick/Love Sick 2 Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. I’ve covered SOTUS so far, but now I’m correcting for chronology, and present to you today my review of Love Sick.]

Well. I climbed the mountain and saw the view from the top. After 48 episodes -- BL edit cuts, mind you, but still, 48 episodes -- I finished Love Sick and Love Sick 2. 

Before I dive into the review, I want to meditate on something that kept cropping up for me as I was watching the show. I always say this in my writing, but I’m an #old cishet gal, in my early middle-aged years, and when I was in high school in the States, casual homophobia likely looked different than it does now, or maybe even at the time of Love Sick’s airing in 2014 and 2015. 

I’m not sure if young people in high schools do this now... or maybe they do. Maybe I’m clueless and just not watching enough Western and/or cishet content to know. But when I was a teenager in the ‘90s, “gay” was the adjective for everything. "This bagel is gay.” Your handbag was “gay.” Your handwriting was “gay.” The way in which you stapled your papers together could be called “gay” -- I literally heard that in high school, and I still remember it as being one of the dumbest things I had ever heard. And, of course, most doomingly for certain individuals -- many were labeled as “gay,” too. 

As I rejected much of the biases and racism that my Indian family operated by when I was growing up -- so I also rejected the nonsensical usage of the word “gay” as an adjective for anything else but someone’s sexuality.

I was a seriously protected, hugely nerdy Indian kid growing up. But I kind of inherently knew that this unconscious/conscious/implicit/explicit/simmering hate for a group of people vis à vis this adjective wasn’t for me. At that time of my youth, I didn’t actually know queer communities. I just didn’t want to be associated with biased people who insisted on seeming like utter idiots via their language against a minority group. 

(I’m aware now that “gay” as an adjective is likely being appropriated back by young queer communities, just like the word “queer” itself. I want to clarify that “gay” was NOT being used in a "nice” sense when I was a kid.)

I’m meditating on this because, of course, I watched Love Sick well out of order of my introduction to Thai BLs. I started with KinnPorsche, with The Eclipse, with Bad Buddy, and then began to correct that by watching SOTUS -- all shows that have dealt with homophobia in various ways...or seemingly not at all, in the case of BBS, and to just a touch of an extent in KP between Big and Porsche. 

So. I watched Love Sick to learn about Thai BL history. But my mindset is out of order, right? It’s because I’ve already watched many influential shows that carry the influence of Love Sick within them. (As I did in my SOTUS review, I’ll cite @miscellar‘s tremendous analysis of how Bad Buddy was based on Aof Noppharnach’s meta commentary on existing BL frameworks, and I’ll do a lot of comparisons to BBS in this piece, as I’m aware that P’Aof was influenced himself by Love Sick.)

In rewinding my perspective and my mind to set myself up to watch Love Sick: I wanted to be very aware of how this show would deal with casual homophobia among teenagers, and the ever-present question of how it would deal with the question of if the main coupling of Phun and Noh would fall into the “gay for you” category that I discussed in my SOTUS review, and that @absolutebl discusses in this post. 

If @absolutebl flagged Love Sick as likely problematic of mistakes that are being corrected for now -- of course, they’re right. The casual homophobia was rampant. The “gay” question was easily squelched, loudly and early by Noh, who clarified throughout the show that he was not, and never would, be gay. And Phun clarifies that as well, later in season 2. Our boys “called it love.”

Bad Buddy dealt with this differently, very obviously. There was no homophobia. Pat likes all genders. Pran will consider liking girls at some point, to Ink’s joy and advice that it’d be “gainful” for Pran to do so. 

But. (And I think P’Aof recognized this.) In history, we have to start somewhere. I had to get comfortable in my jibblies to watch this, and be reminded from whence I came, an environment of casual homophobia that very directly led to my deciding to live my life in part as an ally.

It’s unfortunate that I don’t get to read commentary on the regular about these shows from a Thai queer male perspective. (It’s why reviews from the very dear @bengiyo are so important for me to read, from his queer male perspective.) (And I think I need to watch more Soonvijarn.) I want to know, from a Thai queer male perspective, if it was OKAY for Love Sick to depict the casual homophobia that we saw, and if the perspective accepts Noh and Phun’s trajectory as a couple, calling their relationship not gay, but love. And certainly -- maybe that perspective has changed over the course of the airing of BL in Thailand, as expectations and artistic strategies have changed with the progress of time.

Throughout my liveblogging of my watching the show (and I want to take a second here to give a HUGE SHOUT-OUT to the DARLING MUTUALS who commented on my seriously late-night posts: @clairificusrex, @lurkingshan, @nieves-de-sugui, @aliceisathome, and many more, I LOVE YOU ALL, YOU AMAZING STANS!), I expressed a lot of love for Phun and Noh, and for other characters, too, like Yu, Per, and Win. (Yu and Per have a special place in my heart as allies-in-the-making, and Per trying everything to make Win, his BFF, happy -- and recognizing his limits while doing so.)

But now that I’m done with the show...I feel like a line of intimacy wasn’t crossed. Maybe I shouldn’t blame the show for this. The show WASN’T a BL. The show wasn’t SOLELY focused on Phun and Noh. Maybe the line of intimacy that I’m thinking of COULDN’T be achieved in a high school setting in 2014 Thailand.

I really wondered about the length of the show as I was watching it. For the MAJORITY of the second season, I thought the length HELPED the boys grow into their relationship. We really saw shades of gray. We saw shades of emotion, of development, especially from Noh to Phun. We saw Noh grow TREMENDOUSLY, maturely, figuring out his boundaries with lovely Yu. We saw Noh figure out his boundaries with Phun. I thought all of that development was truly lovely, very important to see between two young men, and gorgeous to watch. Captain acted the hell out of it.

At the same time, I think the length of the second second ultimately hurt the endgoal of the revelation of their relationship to their communities and family. To the end of the show, we were hearing that the boys were not gay. I think this was designed as a necessary part of their coming out in their relationship -- because I’m not sure that the airing of Love Sick 2 could have been considered successful at that time if it did NOT include that element, the element of MAKING SURE that the audience was TOLD that the boys were not gay. 

And I think -- because I watched things out of order, I’ve watched brilliant shows already correct for these mistakes -- that deflated me just a touch as I wrapped up the series.

As well, up until the VERY end, we saw that the boys were still in a place to consider heterosexual relationships, as in the case of Phun and his friend, Pam, who Noh confused for being a potential interloper. With Phun *not* communicating and clarifying to Noh immediately that Pam had a boyfriend, it set up a moment of real confusion for Noh, as if their already-committed relationship (which they had committed to multiple times already!) was on the rocks, for an interloper of another gender.

While I was watching it, I was confused -- I was wondering why the show needed THIS to close out Phun and Noh’s storyline. 

I wonder if it’s because, in 2014, the show could not have ended WITHOUT that question. The boys would be in a relationship now... but in the future, would things “straighten” out? (Of course, years later, we had ReminderS, which I haven’t peeped, but did establish that the guys were still together, as BL continued to be filmed and as attitudes slowly have changed.)

I think that if Love Sick 2 had ended after the pharmacy camp -- I would have felt settled and happy about this show. Phun and Noh ARE darlings, after all. Captain as Noh, his AMAZING ability to demonstrate a teenage kid’s overwhelmed reaction to the world around him so comedically -- it was really perfect. Both White and Captain are fantastic actors (especially as compared to Krist in SOTUS). 

But there was something about the ending that gave me the jibbles. As if the show couldn’t just leave the guys alone in their happiness. There HAD to be one more dramatic storyline that wasn’t clear. There HAD to be the clarification that the boys were not gay -- not to their schoolmates, not to Phun’s dad, not to the audience. No way were they gay. Again, I think this was where the length of the second season ultimately hurt this series.

And Ohm’s internalized homophobia as well. The way in which he rejected James, left James in the dust. The way in which things were left not quite clarified between him and Mick, although their relationship was alluded to at the end. (I might have missed some clarifications in the BL edits, but I ain’t going back to the full-length episodes to find out.)

And Earn and Pete. Good LORD, Earn. An “I fucking love you” next to the urinals? Dude. PETE COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU, EARN. (I frankly wanted to see Pete with Yu. Earn was the Thai version of The Situation from Jersey Shore, getting all up in Noh and Phun’s business and trying to break them up. Fucking Earn. SMDH.)

I have complaints. And I can’t help but think... yes, THIS is what Bad Buddy corrected for. THIS is what The Eclipse corrected for. With Kinn being out and out gay, THIS is what KinnPorsche corrected for. 

Phun and Noh found their love, which I am desperately happy for. Captain acted the HELL out of Noh -- I could not help but laugh out loud, night after night, at how Noh wiggled his way in and out of situations. He is, in Asian parental parlance, a good boy.

But, as dear @absolutebl meditated on, there were mistakes in this show that, thank goodness, are being corrected by the filmmakers that I have fallen for now. I see what Bad Buddy was doing. Instead of “I’M NOT GAY” -- P’Aof had Pran be gay, and Pat be bi, and Pran consider girls to Ink. That flow of that conversation among Pat/Pran/Ink/Pa -- that was sophisticated stuff. P’Golf had Akk say to his parents, not that he was in love with Ayan -- but that he likes men. 

I have previously loved these nuances in Bad Buddy and The Eclipse. Love Sick now makes me WANT THEM, HUNGRILY, as admissions of truth and acceptance. 

Do I need characters to be out and out, like Kinn? NO. That’s a person’s business, that’s a character’s business, if they want to define or call themselves gay. I’m not here to tell anyone where to land on the sexuality expression spectrum, that’s not my place. I’m not here to ASK anyone’s preferences. Just live. Pran certainly wasn’t out and out. He loved Pat -- that’s who he loved, he loved Pat, and there was no other nonsense, no other side explanations, no covering up or jibbly clarifying of any other positions. (And Pat’s statement was so simple, too: “I like both genders.” Boom, done, move on, live and LOVE and be happy.)

What was hard for me was the repeated denial of gay throughout Love Sick and Love Sick 2. I just didn’t think the show needed that -- because the love between Phun and Noh could have spoken volumes WITHOUT those statements. But I also get it. I get that the writers of Love Sick likely thought they NEEDED those statements in order to get the dang show aired in the first place, in 2014 Thailand. I get that there wasn’t that paradigm, yet, as leveraged by people like P’Aof, P’Jojo, and P’Golf, that lets love STAND as the STATEMENT ITSELF, à la Bad Buddy and The Eclipse.

I see what Love Sick did to begin setting up a tremendous, TREMENDOUS paradigm of BLs in Thailand. It was simply groundbreaking. And the ads! The advertisers were also making their statements. These boys were drinking and eating the Oishi like there was no tomorrow. That was big for nascent BL and capitalism accepting nascent BL.

But the show wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot. And @absolutebl Sensei -- you nailed it by listing it as one of your three original recommendations for us understanding what GMMTV is doing, NOW, with their progressive and groundbreaking art. I’m glad I watched Love Sick. I’ll get more Phun and Noh when I catch up with ReminderS -- and I’m glad, for me, that Love Sick is over, and that I know that Phun and Noh end up happily together in drama land, hopefully in a place where their cinematic preferences are NOT in control of the fictional communities around them, and the real audiences watching them.

[For those of you who are following, I’m now going to make a purposeful dive into a few shows that cover a number of priorities. I’m going to watch Make It Right, Make It Right 2, and Love By Chance -- all to learn about the works of the very prolific New Siwaj, as recommended to me by @bengiyo. I’ll also be crossing off groundbreaking shows featuring my simpy darlings, Ohm Pawat and Perth Tanapon, who are currently destroying in Double Savage. Finally, with MIR and MIR2, I’ll learning more about the early high school pulps after having watched Love Sick. Here’s the road front and back. I’ll ALWAYS take input if anyone reading thinks that something’s missing on this list! 

AND AS ALWAYS: MANY, MANY THANKS TO THE FAM that always comments on these posts and gives me unbelievable feedback: @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup, @respectthepetty, @lurkingshan, @wen-kexing-apologist, @clairificusrex, @nieves-de-sugui, @manogirl, @miscellar, @dribs-and-drabbles, @solitaryandwandering, and anyone that I may have missed! I so appreciate you all, and I LIVE for the conversations we have about these shows. 1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) 2) SOTUS (2016) (review here) 3) Make It Right (2016) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) 5) Love By Chance (2018) 6) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) 7) He’s Coming To Me (2019) 8) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) 9) TharnType (2019) 10) Theory of Love (2019) 11) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) 12) 2gether (2020) 13) Still 2gether (2020) 14) ITSAY (2020) 15) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 16) Not Me (2021-2022) 17) My School President (2022-2023)]

[period-dramallama]

Tagged by @theladyelizabeth gratias tibi agoooooo

1. How many works do you have on AO3?: Under my main pseud, 48. My darkfic pseud, 9.

3. What fandoms do you write for? A scattering of fandoms. I specialise in worldbuilding and rarepairs. My main pseud is for Tudor fiction. My other pseud is for darkfic or more explicit fic.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? For main pseud:

C'est la (petite) vie c'est la (petite) mort

Love is a stranger who'll beckon you on

So you can sleep

love hid behind the shadows

The Pelican

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? i SHOULD. I don't always. I just feel... shy? awkward? i feel like a kid discussing their powerpoint. I reply if i have something to say. but i do thank people who leave comments on rarepair fics because i'm just so happy to meet another fellow shipper. And also heartfelt comments like people who survived horrible things and see themselves in the characters, I reply to those.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

So you can sleep. Reader-Y/N is left heartbroken and watchers of the movies know the man is on his way to becoming a serial killer. My other fics i would say are either bittersweet, or have a glimmer of hope, for the characters or their world.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Love is a stranger ends on a happy note, but with troubled times ahead (the death of Edward VI, the re-catholicisation of England, the illness of Don Carlos). C'est la petite vie has a depressing beginning but bounces its way chaotically to a happy ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I don't write for popular ships, so i guess i don't get enough hits to find haters. Like if you read a rarepair, 99% chance you searched for that ship. And i'm a zealous tagger of dark content! The bookmark of 2/5 tho... I'd have preferred a comment saying what they liked and didn't like (because i still got a kudos and a bookmark so what gives????)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I dooooooooooo. My darkfic pseud for E, my main pseud doesn't go higher than M. I find smut a challenge to write, so I use it as an inciting incident or to explore a state of mind or a need. (Grief, guilt, power, anger, love).

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I have as a teenager on FFN.net. But I'm not a big crossover person. But i wrote a song Do You Wanna Be My Ally? To the tune of Do You Want To Build A Snowman?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? There's no incentive to steal rarepair fic. It'll only get you attention from like... 4 people. and those 4 people have probably read the original ANYWAY.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Alas, no.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I'd be down for it, but I've never been asked.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? My first OTP was Lupin/Tonks. They're how i discovered the existence of fanfic. But my all-time OTP is Jane/Rochester. Other ships wax and wane, but my enthusiasm for those two is constant.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have unfinished WIPs on my teenage FFN.net account, because i didn't know what ending i wanted. But i usually write oneshots. I have a WIP for a gothic novel that has been on the backburner for like 6 years. But one day I hope it'll reveal itself to me.

16. What are your writing strengths? I've been told I write fear and panic well. Which is good. Also comedy. Almost always a little bit of that in there. Also readers enjoy the characters, so that too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Let's ask the reader who gave me 2 stars transitional scenes. starting and ending the scene. setting the scene. I'm not big on description and location. I'm a dialogue-heavy writer, so if the dialogue isn't working for you.... Godspeed, reader.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Nah, i just say what language the characters are speaking in. But some of my chapter titles are in different languages.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Harry Potter because i was a spotty kid with braces.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written? Usually the fic I'm writing at the time is my favourite. My longer fics like C'est la petite vie and Love is a stranger have a special place in my heart.

But I suppose the ultimate fanfic crown must go to Turn your back on the Hanging Tree, because it was a dusty old 80k word clumsy fanfic from my teen years that I cared about enough to rewrite as a 17k word oneshot. Murder, desire, women, scheming, BLOOD- all my favourite things.

Tagging @jurijurijurious @caesarflickermans @plvtarch @thefudge @natequarter @coryo @katniiss @astridbecks... i can't recall who else i know who writes fic.

[notajinn]

Top Games Played in 2023 - Number 1: Super Mario RPG Switch

1. Super Mario RPG Remake (Switch)

This one isn't fair. The SNES Super Mario RPG is one of my favourite games ever, so a faithful remake is almost guaranteed to be better than any other game already.

What I Like

Most of this is just what I like about the original Super Mario RPG because a lot of the game is unchanged.

I love the battle system incorporating timed hits. You still get to take your time on your turn deciding what to do, but the additional input being able to majorly affect the battle keeps you engaged. This is especially important in the late game and new post-game given you're pretty likely to die without good timed hits.

The writing in the game is the quality you'd expect of something that released in the same generation as Final Fantasy VI and Chrono Trigger. It's lighthearted, fun, and includes a good sprinkle of cool moments. The game mostly revolves around new characters like Mallow and Geno, and they manage to be some of the best written characters in the Mario series despite being in only one game. Even some of the enemies like Croco and Belome return later in the game and get their own tiny character arcs.

They did a good job keeping the weirdness of the original SNES art style while updating the graphics to the current gen.

SMRPG has one of my all-time favourite video game soundtracks.

I mean, what else can I say? The gameplay is good, the writing is good, the music is good, the graphics are. Those are the four most important parts of any game.

As far as new stuff is concerned, I'm happy they added a post-game at all! The new content has writing that matches the rest of the game well, and there are some cool bosses. It's also legitimately hard content which is nice for an otherwise pretty easy game. I love that one of the post-game bosses is Booster since you otherwise skip his boss fight in the main game unless you fail a mini-game.

There's one major change made to the combat system in that you can switch party members during battle. This actually makes the game feel very fresh since otherwise I always kept Peach in my party for emergency heals, but now I just swap her in when I need healing. This let me play much more aggressively.

They also added a party-wide super meter. These are fun animations and useful moves, but mostly unneeded given how easy the game is.

Plus it's way easier to move around with a control stick now compared to having to use the D-Pad for 3D in the SNES game.

What I Don't Like

Across the board, the new remastered soundtrack is worse than the original soundtrack. This could just be nostalgia. Fortunately the game lets you toggle between Remastered and Original soundtrack at any time.

The game maintains the strange difficulty spike at the Sunken Ship. It's not hard, but it goes from easy to "I need to try now" very quickly.

A few of the post-game bosses are bullshit and require extremely precise timed blocks to not take crazy amounts of damage. It's also a little annoying to always have to travel to Frogfucious after each boss to find out who the next boss to fight is.

The Casino remains an annoying area to unlock, and one that doesn't really reward you with anything good. Not even a Flower Tab.

Final Thoughts

It's one of my favourite games touched up and with some new content. What's not to love?

[prototypeviktor]

complaint box vol. 1, or "i suppose you all hate whimsy"

in making this blog in part to cordon off my complaining, i now have the opportunity to complain more broadly rather than messaging a friend or two with "this is unfortunate" or similar. whether or not this is an improvement that will result in more mental well-being rather than less is up for debate.

anyways, the average Arcane Poster on social media (not to be confused with the average Arcane Fan, who may or may not also be an Arcane Poster; Posters are outspoken while Fans may be content to just enjoy the work) has at least something of a dislike for whimsy, kitsch, or otherwise actually having fun in the space. this is displayed prominently in my experience when Posters talk about the design differences between league and arcane.

in particular, today i will be complaining about (and broadening out into wider complaints from there) an instagram reel that was thrust upon me in my latest excursion into the instagram tags/discovery page to try to find neat fanart of jinx, whose arcane outfits i do quite like. i will not be linking the reel, because i have made a promise to myself to not copy down links of things that make me mad, because then i will click the link at some point and feel bad again. anyways, it was a reel of the WR caitlyn and jayce animation (which i also quite like) and the original poster had written over top of it that they'd wished caitlyn had gotten her top hat in arcane as they like it as a design piece. anyways, i will now give you a moment to guess what the comments were like. please click the read more at your convenience.

my brief observations of the comments revealed the following categorical trends:

people saying the hat was stupid/ugly/etc. and arcane was good for removing it.

subcategory of 1: people saying her league outfit is a "porn parody" of herself, which i think is a reasonable comment for release caitlyn's duds (although in the spirit of whimsy, i do have a fondness for it) but is actively incoherent for WR/LoL's current look.*

people saying that her hat was totally there, in a cameo and/or in the strange peaked-top cap she wears in S1 for three seconds and in a few scattered pieces of promotional material. this is missing the point of the post.**

people more broadly calling arcane a "glow-up" for all characters.

people calling LoL/WR jayce's outfit or general appearance bad/ugly.

people somehow discussing the LoL vi tutu/ruffle detailing, which was mentioned approximately nowhere in the post.***

*need i remind the gentle reader that her enforcer outfit, or whatever it is, in S1 is bare-legged? and if they are talking about her S1 purple outfit, that has more cleavage than WR/LoL ASU if we're using "showing skin" for "porn parody" criteria. if they're discussing S2, i again really do not see how WR/LoL ASU is more sexualizing than anything from there. perhaps all of these people googled Caitlyn League Of Legends and google "helpfully" returned her first model, but that does not explain commenting on a reel that visually showcases WR's outfit that it's a "porn parody".

** as a hat goes, i think the arcane hat is a bad and goofy-in-the-wrong-ways one. it is tall and has no meaningful brim so it looks bad in silhouette, and the overall design doesn't quite fit in with the rest of the enforcer outfit design language at large imo. caitlyn also being 6ft or so makes the hat especially poor, as i imagine the reason it was used so infrequently is because retaining between-character height constancy in any form while one character is 6ft with a hat that's taller than their head is going to make every single shot look bad. we already know height constancy was played around with in order to achieve some shots, anyways.

i am not going to go check the show again, as i like myself, but i believe very few enforcers are shown wearing the hat in the first place, and that out of the named enforcers caitlyn is the only one wearing an outfit with a skirt and no pants/leggings... ever. maybe some background enforcer was in S1. either way, this gives the in-universe impression that caitlyn's enforcer outfit is not standard-issue for women (standard-issue would be non-ideal, as it would imply some form of gender-based outfit expectations in a world that overton keeps saying has none of that (untrue statement, another post another time), but at least would give logical explanation for why caitlyn is wearing it) and she chose it herself. this does not really make sense for something that someone of low-ish rank would be allowed to do, at least in my opinion.

***the tutu also remains in vi's enforcer outfit in S2, so i think broad and non-nuanced praise re: "fortiche glow-ups" should be tempered somewhat. it exists as a vague signifier and/or in-joke in the same way caitlyn's hat is cameo'd or singed was reveck-baited in S1 and confirmed, due to fan speculation according to the artbook, to be reveck in S2. it's not meaningful, really. jangle the keys for the league players and do nothing more.

all in the span of a few scrolls of the comments. the poor original poster was left to say variations of "i just liked the hat and wish she'd worn it, not that it was a cameo" repeatedly and maybe luck into one or two commenters who agreed that they too liked the hat.

this finally brings me to my initial point after much subnotes and winding about (which will presumably be a hallmark of these complaint boxes, if they continue), which is:

so do Arcane Posters just hate whimsy and having fun? (overgeneralization for comedic effect.) these reactions feel like a step-to-the-left (pun intended?) version of a subtype of Superhero Comic Book Movie Poster: the guy who thinks Supes' comics trunks are stupid, and that whatever part-costume part-CGI outfit design the DCU (or god forbid, Arrowverse) puts out is actually the best thing ever because you can see the Realistic Textures and It's Very Serious. which is a valid opinion, since design preferences are an individual thing, but also fundamentally misses something that i personally think is important about superhero comics^... that it's fun and fantastical, actually, and that sometimes people enjoy fun and fantastical and "not realistic" designs.

^a genre whose production history/choices, at least when it comes to the big two, has a significant amount of overlap with how LoL and Arcane work, in my opinion... perhaps for another post.

if i am a martian manhunter fan, for example (i am somewhat, although i've not read as much as i would like), i probably like or am at least neutral on his goofy shirtless-crossed-suspenders + blue briefs + matching calf boots. (don't worry mr. j'onzz. i saw your Chanel boots.) because that is part of his character design for decades, and because while it may be "goofy" and "not realistic" it's at least a fun, vibrant design that also is relatively simple. i (personally) do not very much like live action j'onns because they are afraid of committing to being faithful to that design, and overcomplicate it and dull it down in a way that i don't think needs to be the case. now, returning to league...

league designs are fantastical and, historically, not very realistic. they operate on rule of cool principles a lot, but that's okay because league historically was kind of goofy. i will not go so far as to absolve caitlyn's or vi's original outfit of sexism allegations, because to be a female league champion is to be sex appealed, but they were also fun designs for a game with minimal lore at the time and a relatively goofy tone. as for jinx, who as far as i know was primarily designed by katie de sousa, one can argue the bullet bikini and short-shorts are sex appeal, but i personally wouldn't attribute them to that. 2013 was a magical time in which a woman being flat-chested was actually a diverse body type, at least at riot internally. i do not think jinx was intended to be a sex appeal champion, at least by de sousa.

as a side note, perhaps the reason i like arcane jinx's outfit the best is that it's still somewhat rule of cool whimsical. does she need that "X" button-style detailing on her top? no. is it fun? yes. do her pants need to be striped? no. is it fun and something i originally read as^^ a homage to early piltover's predilection for pinstripes (see vi leggings and more)? yes.

^^the artbook blows this nice thought up by saying they're a hangover from a version where jinx... went off to bilgewater at the end of S1A1 and... became a pirate...? some things are best left on the cutting room floor.

anyways, it was a goofy setting and that let people do fun stuff. even LoL-verse VGU/ASUs historically kept more impractical-but-pretty-cool aspects in designs, in my opinion, at least until as of late. (skarner.) do i particularly like some of those VGUs or ASUs? no i think a lot of them took dedicated mains out back and slapped them around quite a bit. can i still say that i think that VGU swain, for example, is an interesting character design even if i have mixed feelings on him? yes. the coat's a cool piece. would swain in the arcaneverse be made to have a cloak-chain or cape instead to match that silhouette, because otherwise logic and rationality states his coat would fall off his shoulders? probably.

with arcane, it's all so... practical and down-to-earth, mostly. which works for the tone, i suppose. but now it's leeching back into league. caitlyn's blue, because the warriors cinematic and/or fortiche and co. thought purple was too out there probably. bright, saturated colors exist only for fractured jinx or whatever we're calling her outfit there. arcane chitinbug viktor is greys and dull golds. jayce doesn't even get to wear red, really. caitlyn's wearing purple for two brief outfits. vi's

"i heard you liked gold metallic detailing so i put some in your gold metallic detailing so you can gold metallic detail while you detail" is the hextech and piltover at large motto, which would be nice if the formula then wasn't "neutrals, jewel tones, and/or white and black" for the most part. cyan blue hair's too bright, make it more mid-blue. pink hair's too bright, make it more red. so many uniforms with only brief touches of character personalization, and that's in subtypes of gear worn (all the piltover war/combat uniforms i guess) rather than anything broader.

and all of this is fine for a realistic tone, or what have you, but is it an improvement? not really, at least to me. because for something to be an improvement on something else, those two things have to be playing the same game with the same rules. league designs are made to be fantastical and unique and visible from a top-down perspective. arcane designs are made to fit the setting (and elaborate on it visually, presumably - what materials are used where, small characterization trinkets, etc.) and have different silhouette criteria because it's a show not a video game.

it's apples and oranges. it's not "wrong" or "stupid" to like the league designs, because they are intended to fulfill a different purpose and were concepted by different people at a different time. in counterpoint, it's not "wrong" or "stupid" to like the arcane outfits, because they serve a different purpose. the issue occurs when Arcane Posters act as though there is some aspect of superiority in liking the more gritty-realism of the two, because of... pick your choice of rationale given by the Arcane Posters you've seen. i know that you have seen many rationales, if you are reading this and have gotten this far.

caitlyn's hat is iconic in the same way that her and others' weaponries are. in the same way viktor's pauldron and third arm are. it is not an unreasonable assumption that an adaptation would put caitlyn in her top hat or hats in general, considering that out of her 14 non-arcane non-prestige skins 9 have hats and a further 4 have some sort of headpiece (pulsefire has an updo, but no specific hairpiece so i don't count it).

just like how it is not unreasonable to assume viktor the machine herald would be machine-based, for what it's worth.

the point of all of this, in all its overblown and thinking-too-much sincerity, is that if one more Arcane Poster tells me or someone i know or some poor Arcane Fan Who Came From League that LoL designs are bad/stupid/ugly/goofy/etc. i will probably feel steam whistle out of my ears. i think perhaps people can express their disappointment in something minor and trivial, like not getting to see caitlyn in her cool hat, without getting a hundred or more comments on how they're wrong for thinking that.

why is it on the Arcane Poster's back to go some variation of "nuh-uh, that version's bad" in direct response? what compels the Poster to do that? i may seem hypocritical here as i have just complained about this phenomena for an extended period of time, but i also do not make a habit of going into the comments section of someone who is genuinely enjoying arcane to say "nuh-uh, that version's bad". even if i have thoughts about enjoying a show in which, for example, a character's mental health is depicted with all the sensitivity of a sledgehammer and the primary endgame canon pairing has an act of on-screen partner violence that is not meaningfully resolved or addressed. because it's not my circus, and it's not my monkeys!

going back to comics: at least in comics you can go find and read the comics that have your character designs and narrative tones of choice, if you're not into the latest live-action or other adaptation. might cost you a bit and there is something to be said about obscure issues being hard to find, but they are physically out there in the world. if you're a league fan and you don't know the wiki exists, for whatever reason, you're just out of luck for even looking at old versions of characters or their scant previous lores. but this is a topic for another time, i believe.

anyways, maybe if they put caitlyn in a top hat and leaned less "realistic" we wouldn't have gotten a show whose message is "maybe we can heal the political divide [in america, see linke's comments] by uniting against an outside force and using the underclass as canon fodder". food for thought!

[floralseokjin]

⤑ made-up love song epilogue (m).

Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher living with your best friend, and have never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire.

Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…

pairing; kim seokjin x reader au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, romance, fluff, a final resolution, smut; oral (male receiving), penetration, got a lot spicier than i initially imagined, oc was feeling herself words; 6,503

↪︎ chapter index

chapters; i • ii • iii  • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue  (+ drabbles)

author’s note; fun fact, I’ve never actually written an epilogue before, but it felt fitting this time around, to tie up all the loose(ish) ends and satisfyingly bring it to a close – she says as if she isn’t writing drabble upon drabble (and more) lol but you get what I mean. I hope you enjoy! Thank you for reading ~ 

“The rabbits!” Seokjin cried out of the blue, jumping to his feet. 

Immediately you found yourself slumped into the sofa, having been leaning against him, cuddled up all morning. You sat up, confused as you looked at him. “What?”

His eyes were wide with panic. “I need to feed them! Arin will kill me if she finds out.” 

“Relax,” you chuckled, taking a hand in yours to tug him back to you. He stepped between your legs but kept standing. “They won’t starve to death. When did you feed them last?”

“Last night,” he thought. “Just after I came home from work. Maybe 7.” 

You checked his watch, seeing it was just gone eleven. “They’ll be fine for another half hour.” You stood up, tugging his hand again, but this time to lead him to the kitchen. “Come on, let’s take the stuff for brunch to your place.” 

You’d stayed in bed for a while this morning, just happily holding and kissing one another, still buzzed and definitely still basking in that post-orgasm glow. When you’d finally managed to escape the warmth of your sheets, you’d showered together. Your bathroom was a lot smaller than his – obviously – and your shower bath was even tinier, but you made it work, until you didn’t, Seokjin nearly toppling out over the side while simultaneously nearly getting rolled up in the shower curtain. Of course that had given you the giggles, but you’d composed yourself, finishing up, getting dry and then getting dressed for the day. Luckily, Seokjin had some clothes at your place, so he didn’t have to recycle the ones he’d slept in last night. 

You were treating this day like a Sunday, making the most of being lazy on the sofa before you inevitably had to go and cook brunch up. 

He stopped in his tracks, making you turn back. “You sure?” He asked, pulling you to him, nuzzling his nose against your jaw as his arms wrapped around waist. “I wanted to stay here this weekend.” 

You couldn’t stop yourself from chuckling, linking your hands around his neck as he placed a kiss behind your ear. “It doesn’t matter where we are as long as we’re together.” 

He pulled back to see you, his plump lips already curved into a smile. “You speak such truth. I’m forever awestruck by you.” 

“Shut up,” you rolled your eyes, but that didn’t stop you from stealing a small kiss. 

Seokjin decided he wanted more, pressing kiss upon kiss to your lips with enjoyable hums. “I love you,” he declared causally after the last that lingered a little. Then he grinned. “How many time will I say that today before it gets annoying?” 

You smiled fondly at him. “You could never be annoying.” You got the last kiss. “I love you.” 

.

.

A lazy day was a lazy day regardless of the house. After Seokjin made sure the rabbits were happy, fed and had fresh water, you started brunch, eating it on the kitchen island as the rain continued, falling down against the tall windows. Any other day you would have found the weather depressing, but not today. Not when you were bursting with happiness and beautifully content. Besides, that just meant you had even more of a reason to do nothing, cuddled up on Seokjin’s large corner sofa as you picked up the series the both of you had started watching a couple of weeks ago. 

At around 5pm you started toying with the idea of going out for dinner somewhere, but then you hadn’t brought along the right clothes and by now it was raining heavier than it had all day. The idea of putting on makeup made you feel even lazier, so you decided on takeout in the evening and a movie instead. 

As Seokjin was arranging the containers and plates around the coffee table, ready to dig in, movie ready to go, you slipped out a question. There’d been something on your mind all day, nothing major of course, but still, you didn’t quite know how to bring it up. 

“What time is Arin coming home tomorrow?” 

“I’m unsure,” he replied, briefly looking over at you before he opened up the black bean noodles. “I need to text Nana.” 

You nodded, opening you mouth to ask a follow up question, but hesitating last minute. He looked at you again, sensing your caution and raised a concerned eyebrow. You hated seeing him worried, so you rushed ahead. “Do you want me to go home beforehand?”

“No, of course not,” he exclaimed, before he furrowed his brow. “Unless you want to of course… If you feel uncomfortable.” 

“I don’t,” you were quick to reassure. You wanted to be there actually, if he was okay with it. “I was thinking her and I should clear the air.” 

You could see Seokjin deep in thought for a brief second before he nodded, sitting back against the sofa to take your hand. “It won’t be like last time. I promise.” 

Seokjin had already told you some of what he and Nana had spoken about Thursday evening, so you knew not to be worried about any potential conflict, but still, you didn’t want to blindside her. “We should probably check with her first though, right?” 

“Okay,” he agreed. Giving you a smile, he squeezed your thigh. “I’ll call her after the movie.” 

.

.

“Should I turn off the lamp?” 

You nodded in reply, watching Seokjin lean over his side of the bed to flick the only form of light you had off. When he rolled onto his back, you immediately pounced, hooking a leg over his hip to settle yourself on top of him, your stomachs flush. It may have nearing 12am, but sleep was not the thing on your mind. 

“Oh, hello,” he responded, happily surprised as his hands found your hips, nudging you closer. 

“Hello,” you smiled, wasting no time with meeting your mouths. 

You were a woman on a mission, knowing exactly what you wanted. Today had been lovely, and yes, you’d already had sex today, but when had that ever stopped you before? You were happy and in love and just couldn’t keep your hands (and lips) off of your boyfriend. On top of that, you were just in a great mood, full of positivity. Nana was fine with meeting tomorrow and that meant you could all clear the air and move forward. You’d finally get to see Arin again too, you’d missed her.

Things were perfect, if you did say so yourself, everything heading in the right direction, and right now you wanted to celebrate that. With Seokjin. In the best kind of way. 

“I would have kept the light on if I knew we’d be kissing,” Seokjin murmured wetly against your lips, his tongue missing yours by a second as you started to trail your way down his chin, throat and then his chest, kissing over his pyjama shirt. 

He felt you start to undo the buttons, his cock beginning to rouse expectantly which was highly amusing for you. As you exposed more and more of his chest your lips followed suit, kissing down his stomach, past his belly button to stop just above his pyjama pants, the tiny hairs that littered the skin tickling. You pulled the shirt open, working your way up again, Seokjin helpfully keeping your hair out of your eyes as he tried to hungrily watch you at work, the light of the moon shining through the gaps in the drapes casting enough light to be able to make you out. 

He let out a shaky moan when you flicked the tip of your tongue against his right nipple, laughing at himself afterwards. 

Back at his mouth, you didn’t stay too long before you sat up, straddling him. 

“Where are you going?” He wailed, annoyed you didn’t want his kisses. 

But it wasn’t that you didn’t want them, more like you wanted something else… 

You moved downwards, covers collecting at the end of the bed as you slotted in between his eagerly opening legs, his hips bucking when you cupped his now fully erect (and trapped) member. You began to run your hand up and down it, a grin on your face as you looked up. “You’re so easy.” 

Eyes having adjusted, you saw his grin was a little more bashful, eyes half lidded as he admired the view before him. “Only for you.” 

Ever the flatterer, you had him inside the warmth of your mouth in no time. You weren’t shy by any means, especially now what with all the times you and Seokjin had been intimate, but there was something about being surrounded in near darkness that gave you a fresh surge of confidence. In the glow of the moon, you could make out Seokjin’s parted lips, his eyes piercing the ceiling, giving you a glorious view of his thick neck, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down slowly as his breathing got shallower, just enjoying the moment. He looked handsome as hell – mixed with that pyjama shirt pushed sinfully open, his toned chest and stomach on full display. For you. 

Taking him deeper, you reached for him, running your hands up his stomach, feeling the firm ridges of muscle. He let out a deep moan, looking down to take your hands in his, eyes heavy with desire as he clasped them tight. You eased up a little, smiling around his cock before you started sucking the tip, caressing your tongue over him time and time again. 

He lifted his hips up, eager for more and you wrestled one of your hands free from his to clasp it around the base of his dick, feeling how wet it was from your saliva as you slowly started jerking him off, placing small, wet kisses against his slit. 

With the hand still on his torso, he slipped his fingers between yours, head relaxing back, eyes shut once he felt you softly begin to massage his balls, coating them in the spit that had dripped down onto them. You took him deeper again, picking up speed as you bobbed your head up and down. The sensation just about exploded his mind. 

“Jesus, fuck, baby,” he gasped, free hand running through his hair and tugging at the roots. “If you keep that up I’ll cum.” 

You found it cute how bad his voice trembled, pulling off to smirk. “And is that a bad thing?” 

“Nope, it’s not bad,” he agreed, a little more himself now that you’d spared him for a few seconds. “I just thought we could do some other stuff too.” 

“Some other stuff?” you laughed, lifting on your knees to crawl closer to him. You continued to massage his balls, feeling them tighten. “Like what?” 

He took a shaky breath, rolling his hips into your touch. “Like…” He paused to groan. Now you were jerking him again, your thumb rolling small circles against his slit. “Sex.” He tried again. “I want to have sex with you.” 

“You do?” 

“I always want to have sex with you.” 

And impatient now, his hands gripped your waist, tugging you to him. You squealed, fingers slipping from his cock to land on his chest, the movement sudden enough to make you think you were falling. He kissed you hastily, a soft growl in his throat as his palm grazed over your ass, fingertips playing with the frill detail of your shorts. 

“I’d be inside you 24/7 if it was possible.” 

“God, I want it to be possible so bad.” You practically lamented, his mouth on your neck now, licking strips up and down the sensitive skin. 

He made another noise, cock twitching against your thigh. You felt impatient yourself now, hands finding the collars of his shirt to push it over his shoulders, needing to strip him. He lifted his back of the bed, letting you shimmy the item off before his hands grabbed at your vest, lifting it up over your head in no time. Your mouths met in a rush, his hands palming your breasts, making you moan out, nipples sensitive as he pinched them between his thumb and forefinger. 

You went to move, wanting to get rid of his pants but he stopped you, fingers wrapping around your ribs. 

“W-wait, wait, wait, wait,” he babbled, pulling you closer. “Let me taste them.” To explain further, he caressed a finger down your left breast, making you shudder. “Mine,” he whispered possessively and then you found yourself hovering over his face, his hands cupping the soft, sensitive flesh as he kissed and sucked them in turn. 

You could feel yourself growing wetter and wetter, shorts uncomfortable as he swirled his tongue around and around your nipple, nipping it gently as he pulled away. “I love your body,” he breathed – hard. “I love you.” 

“Mhmm,” you moaned deeply, watching him suck on the other boob now. Your fingers dug into the pillow, arms trembling with pleasure. “I love you, too.” 

He made a noise of approval, finally letting you break free so you could get his pants down over his hips. His erection was so hard by now it almost stood poker straight, veins angrily visible even in the faint lighting. Pyjama pants below his knees, he eagerly kicked them off the rest of the way, watching as you peeled off your shorts. Both naked, he moaned as you straddled him, sliding up and down his cock teasingly, coating it in your arousal. 

“Honey, please,” he pleaded. His voice shook. “Don’t tease. It’s not very nice.” 

“You tease me all the time.”

He groaned weakly, unable to think of a comeback. You sat straighter, chest wet and shiny in the moonlight, his doing, and you knew he could see it too, his dark eyes watching you silently – hungrily. He looked so good, you couldn’t wait any longer. Wrapping your hand around him, you ambitiously went for it, pushing down and taking him whole. It surprised you both, groaning together as you caught your breaths. 

Although, you didn’t give him much time to get used to the feeling of your warmth hugging him tight before you began to ride him hard and fast, bouncing up and down loudly before you stopped to swivel your hips. He could feel you everywhere, his eyes practically rolling back into his head as you continued your onslaught. 

“Y/N…” He murmured, voice weak as he watched you begin to bounce on top of him again, his hands travelling up your thighs to land on your waist. “Y/N,” he tried again, unable to piece together a sentence. “Shit, keep going like that…mmfph, yeah, just like that…” 

When you felt his fingers digging into your skin you wrapped your hands around his, pushing them away. “N-no touching,” you panted, feeling him lift his legs and fold them at the knee behind you, giving you something to lean back on. 

“Seriously,” he asked, sounding annoyed, yet dreadfully turned on. 

You smirked. “I want you to lay back and watch.” 

He matched the curve of your lips. ‘Oh, I can do that no problem, honey.” He stubbornly kept his voice steady, thrusting inside of you once before he stilled his hips completely. “Could watch you ride me all night.” 

On cue, he folded his arms behind his head, biceps bulging. The casual manner got you instantly hot, bouncing along his cock a couple more times before you leaned forward, changing the angle and in turn hopefully sending him crazy. You moved back and forth, griding all over him, your arousal soaking into his pubic hair. You were wetter than usual tonight, turning yourself on as you rode him, hearing the soft squelching where your bodies met, the pressure on your clit eliciting moan after moan. 

You stared him straight in the eyes, noticing the way his jaw was clenched tight, a muscle twitching in his left cheek, but he continued to persevere, stubborn to the bone. 

That was until he felt your breasts graze against him. His hips jerked up, moaning as he was unable to stop rolling into you, and you let him, let him fuck up into you, moaning softly. 

He grunted. “Someone’s getting tired.” 

You shook your head with a whine. You could be stubborn too. Sitting up, you attempted to bounce again but his hips were working too fast by now, his fists grabbing the pillow below his head to gain some momentum. You cried out as he thrust harder, Seokjin’s own noises of pleasure gasping out of him as if he’d been holding his breath. 

“S-seokjin,” you panted, shakily holding onto his thighs. 

He wasn’t relenting. If anything he fucked you harder. “Honey, just give up,” he said matter-of-factly, yet his voice was strained, veins in his neck visible. 

Confidently he brought his hands to your hips, knowing you wouldn’t stop him now, too far gone. You let your eyes flutter closed, concentrating on how good his cock felt inside you. The beautifully crude sound of him pounding into you. 

“Yeah?” He breathed. “Let me make you feel good now. It’s your turn…” 

You nodded, moaning brokenly, and in the blink of an eye you found yourself on your back, Seokjin situated between your spread legs, finding home once again inside the warmth of your body.

You grasped his shoulders, making more noise as he rolled his hips into you, and hooked your legs around his waist, wanting him as deep as possible 

“Uh-uh-uh,” he grinned, taking your hands off him. “No touching.” 

You started complaining but then he pushed your hands above your head, holding your wrists tight with one hand. “Nghnn. Seokjin,” you moaned, feeling him start to fuck you with his entire weight. His back looked delectable and all you wanted to do was rake your fingernails down it but you couldn’t. 

Although, being pinned down by him wasn’t such a terrible thing. 

After a couple of minutes he pressed the elbow of the arm that had you imprisoned into the mattress, careful not to squash you as he brought the other hand between your legs, beginning to roll your swollen clit between his fingertips. Gasping, your legs fell back to the bed, circling your hips in time with his motions, wanting to cum now that he’d put the idea into your head. 

He chuckled at your eagerness causing you to whine. “Why d-don’t you put those lips to good use?”

“Like this, baby?” He smirked, leaning his face in closer, mouth millimetres from yours, and you just about lunged, kissing him desperately. 

He matched that urgency, at some point unable to keep your wrists in place and as soon as he let you go, you had your arms wrapped around him longingly. A groan tore from his throat, thrusts more determined as he continued to rub your clit, and you could feel your back begin to arch, toes curling into the sheets. 

He could obviously feel you squeezing around him too, ripping himself away from your mouth with a moan of your name. “Y/N. Fuck.” 

That’s all it took for you to crumble, face contorting with pleasure as you stared up at him, pulsing around him uncontrollably. 

“You’re so pretty when you cum,” he cooed, removing his hand from between your legs as he pressed soft kisses to your mouth, your orgasm continuing to wash over you in waves. “Am I pretty when I cum?” He joked, but you were too far gone to snort, let alone reply. 

He kept rolling into you, determined to keep your pleasure going for as long as possible, and you almost felt overwhelmed, back arching higher as you clung to him, a tear escaping out of one eye to run down the side of your face. He kissed it away, continuing to adore you, voice cracking, close himself now.  

“You’re my pretty woman. So pretty.” He murmured against your lips and you kissed him hard, the last of orgasm rocking through your body. Holy shit, that was a powerful one. You felt lightheaded but couldn’t get enough. 

“Fuck,” he gasped, feeling the effects as you squeezed and spasmed around him, and with one final thrust he stilled, beginning to spill inside of you. 

You cupped his face quickly, hands trembling and pushed his head up, wanting to admire his face. His plump lips were parted and shiny, beads of sweat collecting along his hairline, gaze unfocused, eyelids heavy with the weight of his pleasure. He looked positively sinful. 

You gave him a drunken smile, your own eyes barely open, and told him simply, “You’re pretty when you cum.” 

.

.

You awoke just as Seokjin was rolling over, a muscular arm reaching for you, pulling your body into his warmth. It was still raining, even harder this morning, but you didn’t care, not when you were so cosy and in love. You were still both entirely naked, which Seokjin took full advantage of, hand cupping a breast – nothing sexual in it though, more like a comfort thing. You smiled, eyes still closed and cuddled in deeper. 

“Where is he this morning?” 

There was a brief silence as he tried to work out what you were asking, but soon enough he realised and laughed, sound cracked and raspy with sleep. “He’s tuckered out after last night.” 

“Aw, diddums.” 

A Sunday morning without a boner? Blasphemy. His morning woods were part of the package, so honestly it was quite surprising to not feel him hard between your butt cheeks. 

Seokjin kissed the top of your head, making a sleepy sound, hugging you tighter to his body. “He just wants to stay in bed and cuddle this morning.” 

“That sounds perfect to me.” 

You honestly couldn’t think of anything better. 

.

.

Once you eventually dragged yourselves out of the warmth of Seokjin’s giant bed, the rest of the morning and early afternoon went by in the blink of an eye. You had just about enough time for a quick lunch before Arin was due back at 2pm, and even though you were ready to meet Nana this time, you still couldn’t stop yourself from feeling a little nervous. It was only natural, you knew that, so you didn’t dwell on it too much, but as you heard the intercom start to ring in the entryway, signalling her arrival, your worry must have been written all over your face. 

“Hey,” Seokjin said softly, calling you as you hovered by the doorway of the family room. When he saw he had your attention, he smiled warmly. “Everything’s fine.”

You gave him a reassuring smile of your own, watching him answer the call to Nana before he opened up the front door, waiting their arrival. 

Arin came in full steam ahead, her little backpack on her shoulders, her carry-on hopping behind as she attempted to ram it over the step to get inside. Nana was only just getting out of the car, you could see her slightly from where you still stood in the doorway of the family room. 

“Hello, Arin.” Seokjin greeted, amusement clear in his voice as he watched his daughter struggle. “Did you have a fun time?” 

She was too busy huffing and puffing to reply and that’s when he finally took pity on her. He reached out his arm, “Let me take your case.” 

“No!” She insisted. She was a determined little thing. “I can do–” 

She never got to finish off her sentence because as she looked forward she caught sight of you smiling at her. 

“Y/N!” She squealed, case (and dad) immediately forgotten as she ran towards you. You weren’t expecting the wave of emotion that hit you when she wrapped her arms around your middle, face in your stomach, but it was there, and it got you right in the gut. You hugged her back. “You’re here,” she beamed up happily. 

“I am,” you grinned, swallowing back your wavering voice. 

“I missed you. It’s been ages.” 

You could always count on kids to be straightforward with their words. She was going to make you cry if she carried on like this. “I missed you too.” 

“It’s only been a week, sweetie,” you heard Seokjin say. 

Arin turned to him quickly. “It’s still a long time.” Then back at you. “I thought you’d never visit again.” 

You felt your heart constrict, and unsure what to do you looked over at Seokjin, finding him equally as afflicted by his daughter’s confession. Teacher mode activated then. “No, no. I was just... busy with work, that’s all.” 

You winced inwardly at your stupid excuse, not wanting to lie to her, but unable to really tell her the truth, especially at a time like this. 

On cue, you heard Nana’s voice greeting you. “Hi, Y/N.” 

You looked over to see her stood just behind Seokjin, a small smile on her face. She seemed a little nervous herself, which selfishly relaxed you. 

“Nana,” you smiled back, “hi.” 

Seokjin cleared his throat, taking a few steps towards his daughter and you. One look at him told you he was feeling the jitters too. This was brand new territory after all – for all of you. 

“Arin, why don’t you take your backpack upstairs and I’ll tell you when mommy is going home so you can say goodbye?” 

“Okay,” she agreed simply, pulling away from you to bound upstairs before she stopped abruptly. She turned back to Seokjin and ran forward with her arms forward. “Sorry, daddy. I forgot to hug you.” 

He chuckled, bending down to kiss her head before he ruffled her hair. “That’s okay. Now, unpack your things. I’ll bring your case up later.” 

She nodded, giving her mom a wave before her attention returned to you. “Will you still be here when I get back?”

“Of course,” you nodded, ignoring the fresh tug at your heartstrings. 

“She really likes you,” Nana observed just as you lost sight of Arin going up the staircase. 

You shook your head, chuckling as you replied modestly, “I don’t know about that.” 

“She does,” she insisted, smiling afterwards. “It’s nice to see. I’m glad she’s happy with everything.” 

You nodded, unsure what to respond with, but Seokjin saved the day. “Do you want something to drink?” 

Nana shook her hand. “I’m okay, thanks. I won’t stay long. I don’t want to interrupt your afternoon.” 

Seokjin gestured her to enter the room, then moved back to take your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze as he brought you forward, wanting you to go next, putting the hand on the small of your back instead now. His touch calmed you. 

“Sit,” he prompted Nana warmly, and she perched herself on the edge of the teal love seat. 

“I like what you’ve done with the place by the way,” she said politely, looking around. 

“You and me both know I just threw some new throw cushions down,” he laughed, attempting to ease the atmosphere.  

Nana joined in just as you sat down on the far end of the sofa. Instead of taking the seat next to you, Seokjin perched himself on the armrest, loosely throwing his arm around the backrest, fingers grazing your shoulder. 

Nana’s attention fell to you, her expression now serious. “Y/N, I want to apologise to you.” She began. “I was out of order last weekend. I was angry but that’s no excuse.” 

“I appreciate it,” you replied, finding your bearings. “I understand it was a shock to find out about me.” 

“It was, but I still acted embarrassingly.” She looked down at the floor, ashamed of herself. “To think that’s your first impression of me.”

She had said some terrible things, yes. Not only to you, but Seokjin too, but, Seokjin had also said plenty of cruel things back. You weren’t one to hold a grudge, especially if she was showing genuine remorse, which you believed to be the case. 

“We can start anew if you like?” You offered with a small smile. 

She visibly relaxed. “I’d like that.” Then she hesitated before deciding to carry on. “I meant what I said, it seems like Arin really likes you. I trust my daughter’s intuition.” 

“She really does,” Seokjin agreed with a hum, rubbing your shoulder. 

“She’s been talking about you over the weekend – not that I’ve been prying of course,” Nana was quick to clarify. “You’re good with her.” She looked you straight in the eyes. “Thank you for accepting my child.” 

You weren’t used to having this much praise and attention thrown your way, you didn’t really know what to say, but that was alright, you didn’t think Nana was looking for an outright response. You understood how important this was for her. She needed to trust the woman that spent time with her daughter, just like Seokjin had grown to trust you. It was slightly more difficult for her considering she wouldn’t be spending a lot of time in your company, so all she really had to go off was Arin’s opinion on you. It meant a lot to know she had given you a chance. Last week you had been afraid that might not be the case. 

You smiled gratefully. “She’s really special.” 

“Yes, Y/N says she’s a talented storyteller,” Seokjin mentioned soon after, helping the conversation along as if he could sense that you felt awkward with all the attention cast on you. He knew you too well. 

“Oh really?” Nana looked delighted, eyes on you as she waited for more information. 

You nodded, complimenting Arin coming easy to you. “The stories she wrote while I was her teacher were amazing.” 

“I have the copies somewhere if you want to read them yourself,” Seokjin offered. 

“I’d love that,” she beamed. “Thank you, Seokjin.” 

“No problem. I’ll find them this week.” 

Nana’s gaze happened to fall to Seokjin’s hand still comfortably on your shoulder then, and her smile faltered. In its place appeared guilt. “Listen, I... I hope I didn’t come in between you both because of last weekend.” She turned to you. “I know mine and Jin’s relationship seems toxic and it was until a few days but I,” she paused to glance at Seokjin, “I really want to change that.” 

“You know I do too,” he agreed. 

“I don’t want to fight anymore, or have things tense between us. We both love Arin.” She caught your eyes. “We all love Arin, so that’s the most important thing.” 

You looked down at your lap but nodded in agreement. Arin’s happiness was what mattered the most. 

“It is,” Seokjin replied. 

Nana smiled, satisfied, and stood up. “Okay, I should get going.” You both followed her, starting to walk towards the doorway. 

“Um, I managed to get that Wednesday afternoon free,” she told Seokjin, “is it okay if I collect Arin from school and take her for something to eat?”

“Of course. I know this great pizza place she loves if you want the name.” 

“She already told me about it,” Nana chuckled. “I think she was dropping hints, but directions would be great. Thanks, Jin.” 

“No problem.” He stopped by the staircase, voice raising quite a lot to reach Arin in her bedroom. “Arin, your mom’s leaving. Come say bye, sweetie.” 

In no time at all she was galloping down the stairs. “Will I see you Wednesday?” She asked her mom eagerly. 

“You betcha! How does pizza sound?”

“Yay, thank you, mom!” She squealed, going in for a hug as Nana bent down.  

“I’ll see you in a couple of days, okay, darling. I love you.” 

“I love you more,” Arin murmured sweetly, kissing her mother’s cheek. 

Nana kissed her back, chuckling. “Not possible, but okay.” Then she stood up, nodding to you and Seokjin with a small smile. “Bye both. I’ll see you Wednesday?” 

“See you Wednesday,” Jin confirmed. 

.

. 

You spent the afternoon playing board games together, Seokjin finding a bunch of his old collection in the attic and you had fun teaching Arin how to play, although she didn’t quite grasp the full idea of monopoly yet, wanting to buy everything in sight regardless of if she had enough money or not… It was funny to say the least, even more so when Seokjin was unable to refuse her, loaning her money from the bank time and time again. 

Where’s my special treatment, you’d teased quietly when Arin was distracted, secretly finding it adorable how much of a softie he was when it came to his daughter. 

“You know I’d buy you anything you want,” he’d replied with a grin, unable to stop himself from stealing a quick kiss. 

At around 6pm, you and Seokjin began preparing dinner for the three of you. Only you left him in charge for a little while when you followed after Arin who had gone to feed her rabbits, wanting time alone to talk with her. You hadn’t been able to stop feeling guilty about effectively lying to her earlier and after confiding in Seokjin about it while Arin was unpacking her suitcase, he’d suggested you speak to her about it. He agreed that honesty was the best policy from here on in (within reason, of course) and that she obviously understood something had been wrong last week else she wouldn’t have reacted the way she had when she’d seen you earlier this afternoon. 

She was only getting older and that meant as much transparency as possible when she was personally involved in something. She was at that age where these things would stick with her. Although hopefully nothing like last week would ever happen again. 

You stood by the doorway watching as she cooed and conversed with the Olive and Ariel at first, not wanting to interrupt. She was such a great little pet owner, making sure they were fed and watered enough, helping to clean their hutch, watching over them when they played outside. She adored them. 

After a few moments she noticed you. “Oh, Y/N,” she smiled, “is dinner ready?” 

You shook your head. “Not yet.” Stepping closer you joined her, watching the rabbits bound about. Seokjin had found the largest hutch imaginable. “Did you miss them?” 

“Yes, but daddy has been feeding them well.” 

You stifled a laugh, remembering Seokjin’s panic yesterday morning, but then crossed your arms, clearing your throat. “Hey, listen,” you began cautiously, feeling a little nervous. Arin looked up at you curiously. “Remember when I said I didn’t come over because I was busy with work?” 

She paused to think and then nodded. 

“I was lying actually, Arin.” 

Her eyebrows pinched together. “How come?”  

“Because… I didn’t want to worry you.” 

She took some time to process what you were saying before she shrugged matter-of-factly. “I was still pretty worried last week anyway.”

You smiled sadly. “I know, and I’m sorry about that. Your dad and I…” 

“Did you have an argument?” She was looking up at you curiously, finger playing with Olive and Ariel’s water bottle. 

“Something like that,” you nodded. “It was more of a disagreement.” 

“I thought so because daddy was sad all week.” 

Her honesty stabbed at your heart. 

“Were you sad too,” she asked. 

“Very.” 

“But you’re happy now?”

You smiled at her. “Yes, everything is all fine now. Me and your dad are happy.” 

She looked happy herself at that piece of information, relaxing visibly, but then she asked a question that caught you off guard. “Do you know if daddy and my mom are happy too?” 

“I think so.” You replied as vaguely as you could, not wanting to overstep the mark. But it didn’t feel right. You tried again. “I think things will be different from now on, Arin.” 

“I hope so. I hate it when they argue.” She sounded sad, her gaze cast to the floor. 

“I know. No one likes watching their parents fight.” you sympathised. 

“What about you and my mom?” She asked suddenly, changing the subject a little. “Are you happy?” 

“Yes, I think so.” You smiled at her. “I like your mom. She’s very pretty just like you.” 

Arin beamed and then added, “You’re pretty too.” 

You wrapped an arm around her shoulders, giving her a squeeze. “Thank you.” 

“Don’t worry,” she almost whispered, “I won’t use that word again.” 

You were clueless for a moment, not understanding what she meant but then it hit you. She carried on. 

“Not until we all decide. Mommy said I might call you that one day if you want me to.” 

For the second time today you felt emotional, throat tight as you choked up suddenly. You composed yourself expertly though, taking a breath before you smiled and replied. “That’s right. There’s no rush for when we all decide.”  

Arin nodded along happily and you took her hand. 

“Should we go and check on daddy now? See if dinner’s ready?”

“I think so.” She agreed, her eyes rolling slightly. “Last week he set off the alarms because he burned my chicken nuggets.” 

“Oh, gosh,” you said, soon spluttering out a laugh. Arin joined in. Seokjin had failed to tell you that (hilarious) piece of information. “Well then, let’s hurry.” 

Seokjin was searching the pantry for something when you arrived back at the kitchen. “Hey,” he said, shooting a warm smile your way. “How’s my two favourite ladies?”

You looked down at Arin, wanting her to reply and she beamed at her father. “Happy.” 

You nodded in agreement, catching Seokjin’s eyes as you shared a private moment, silently telling him everything was fine now. He shot you a playful wink then, closing the door. “That’s funny, because I’m happy too.” 

You moved closer to him, collecting the messy ties of the apron he insisted on wearing whenever he was in the kitchen to retie them properly. “We were just checking in to see if the chef was burning dinner again…” 

With a surprised huff, he turned to his daughter, eyes wide. “Kim Arin did you tell tales on me?”

Arin erupted into a fit of giggles, you and Seokjin joining in immediately. “Maybe…” 

“It was an accident. Happens to the best of us,” he tried to defend. 

“Sure, sure.” 

Arin was greatly amused by your flippant response, but soon grew sympathetic towards her dad, stroking his elbow. “It’s okay, dad, I forgive you.” 

“That’s very kind of you,” he laughed. 

“Should I set the table?” 

“And that’s very sweet of you,” he added, eyes shooting wide. “Thank you.” 

You helped her get all the cutlery she needed and watched her leave for the dining room determinedly. But your attention soon got stolen away, pulled into Seokjin’s warmth as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. You hooked yours around his middle. 

“Okay?” He murmured, checking in as he placed a kiss on your forehead. 

You looked up at him, a smile on your face and gave his waist a squeeze. 

“Okay.” You confirmed. 

Everything was more than okay, actually. 

Everything was perfect. 

Written 2020 - 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

[deaddee-anime-brownfanlady]

I'm so freaking ready for Arcane season 2, like this series truly got hooked me with how extremely good it is. After having somewhat recently got into this show during midish-October and then rewatched again only a couple of days ago for the second time. For real I never thought a animated series based off a popular online game that I know zero shit about except that's its a battle arena type game and that it has a toxic fanbase also I've seen some ads & artwork for it all around the internet would be this amazing in terms of storytelling. All the characters are so multilayered and feels like actual believable flawed people, I don't think there's isn't one character in Arcane that I can say I don't dislike which is a surprising, while wait no scratch that I didn't care too much for Marcus thou, he was still well written and all as well playing a small important aspect in the show but...yeah not my favorite. But honestly the rest of the cast top notch stuff from the tragic sibling relationship with Vi and Jinx and how thats parallel with the broken relationship/brotherhood of Vander and Slico, the partnership also friendship and dynamic between Jayce and Viktor with them being science Bros but slowly starts to drift apart from each other, Mel who by the way absolutely love! I love seeing me some rep of a cool elegant beautiful but powerful black woman in charge but who has her share of demons and struggles from her past with her seemingly having come from a warmonger warrior-like nation given how her mother is. And she so pretty obviously not being likely able to fit in given her stance and nature to be more on the diplomatic side. I know I'm going a bit on a tangent but man...I knew that this show was banger given the big positive reception it gotten but I was still unsure about it. Now having actual watched it I'm so hype for whenever season 2 drops and continue to be both amaze and heartbroken surprises by this animated piece of golden content.

[the-golden-ghost]

fic writer meme

Tagged by the esteemed and lovely @eldritch-elrics

Tagging: @3wisellamas, @seagoing-nerd, @gallifreytreeflower, @bookshop-cryptid, @skeleton-richard, @oceans-foundfamily , @chimicalbomb, and anyone else who wants to do it!

How many works do you have on AO3?

19 I think? It says 18 but one is still under ~anonymity~ until Friday and once it gets released it’ll be on there. It’s readable, it just doesn’t show up under my name yet.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

78,592 babey.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I’ve written for 6, but 2 of them are pretty much the same thing (TKLUTS/The Mysterious Island, and Richard III/Henry VI, Part 3)

The others are Lupin III and Undertale.

My Lupin fics are probably the most consistently popular. The TKLUTS fics are the vast majority (11/19!!) the Shakespeare fics were both written for ficathons based on Shakespeare’s histories, they did well for what they are, but they’re pretty different than most of my other fics. (I also have a ton of non-archived fics on my Shakespeare blog; mostly for Twelfth Night. Maybe someday I’ll polish those bad boys up.) The Undertale fic was purely a study in “can I even write for this fandom?!” the answer was a resounding no lmao

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Terrible Conflict (169 kudos) which was a collaborative fic about Nemo and Ned engaging in a sexual relationship. It’s unfinished but the parts that are up are about their tangled and messy feelings towards each other and it’s a good time

Measuring the Depths (73 kudos) it’s a cute fluffy fic about Pierre Aronnax and Captain Nemo flirting with each other. I think they take a nap together at some point idk I haven’t read it in a while lol. It’s just sort of soft and sweet, not much to it really! I had a couple of good jokes in there if I remember right.

Night’s Passage (60 kudos) this is literally the same thing as Measuring the Depths. Exactly the same, just shorter, and not as good. I’m not a one-trick pony, but people like what they like!

Hold Out Til Morning (54 kudos) This is a weird and angsty fic about Goemon getting shot and Jigen trying to keep him alive until help comes. I was actually surprised this one ended up getting so popular.

Off the Record (43 kudos) the Jigen/Zenigata fic I said I was going to write as a joke and boy did it end up delivering lol

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes, I try to respond to all of them! I just feel like it’s polite. The only times I won’t are when I can’t think of anything to say or if I feel like the conversation has reached a natural end (or occasionally I just forget ^^; )

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Gonna have to say Discordance for this one, which used to be a favorite of mine but has fallen out of favor with me (pretty much for this exact reason). I mean I love to write angst but I feel like an angsty plot needs a lighter ending, and this one doesn’t have one so it’s just Emo For Emo’s Sake. Not good.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Unless you count the TKLUTS/Mysterious Island fic which isn’t really a crossover since the two were pseudo-sequels anyway, no. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really, at least not full-on hate, but I’ve gotten a couple backhanded compliments.

One was “I hate this character but the fic is good! :) “ Which... I know they probably meant that my writing was SO good it made them be able to stand the character, but... I dunno, the concept of them just hate-reading my fic kinda put me off. You do you, man, but don’t tell me about it.

The other was kinda like “that’s an interesting narrative choice considering [x that happened in canon]” which seemed like they were asserting that I didn’t know the source material or made a mistake. They may not have meant it that way but it came off kinda rude.

Do you write smut? if so what kind?

If smut means like a full-on porn fic then I’ve written one and I don’t think I did very well so I don’t intend to write any more.

If it just means a fic with sexual content then yes, I do write that. I don’t know what “kinds” there are lol. Just... your standard... lovemaking... scene?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so. I’m not sure anyone would steal my fics anyway, they garner  ~100 hits on average so if you’re stealing for the sake of popularity or fame mine aren’t the ones to swipe lol

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I did have someone ask if they could translate a fic into Chinese and I said yes but I don’t think they ever actually did it. ^^; 

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep! A Terrible Conflict, referenced above. I really need to do more collabs, they’re good fun.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I don’t know if I have an “all time favorite” as my tastes tend to change and grow. I’m pretty big on Nemo x Pierre from TKLUTS and have been for a while, and also am Vibing hardcore with the OT4(5?)/Polygang from Lupin III.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

There’s the ever-popular TKLUTS Sequel Thing which is a whole 3 years into construction and going completely nowhere...

The JiGoe Thing (unremarked on) which I may just hack to bits so it’s short and palatable and I can actually finish it...

And the Other ZeniJi Thing (which has rapidly devolved into a hellscape of the most bizarre circumstances and nonsense. I HOPE I can finish this. It’s funny as shit until the ending. But dear lord.)

There’s like 3 others but they’re just ideas and not WIPs. Yet.

What are your writing strengths?

Apparently I can Set A Scene with the best of them

What are your writing weaknesses?

Voice. I absolutely cannot get characters to sound like themselves. They always sound the same, which is the same voice as the narration, which is to say - my own voice.

I’m also not that great at plot, use too much Purple Prose where it’s unwarranted, tend to go ham on the weird metaphors in a corny way, don’t do enough research... You Name It, I’ve Committed It

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I can’t really do this due to being monolingual. When other people do it? It’s fine, although if the whole fic is in two languages I won’t be able to read it of course. But they can do what they want; I’m obviously not the audience for it.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It was Adventure Time but I learned early on that I am NOT the writer to be working in Adventure Time, dear god. I just couldn’t get it right.

The first I ever successfully wrote for was Twelfth Night.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

After the Nautilus. NO contest, I LOVE that bad boy. I think if someone asked for a single fic that’s indicative of me and how I write, that’s the one I’d show them.

[key-to-my-heart]

🌈RH POSITIVITY🌈

DISCLAIMER: you do not have to agree with the following writing. you can believe in these pairings romantically or platonically, however you’d like to interpret them! these are personally written to be in a romantic way, as ships, so please at least acknowledge that! you don’t even have to like any of these ships! if you are still into shipping but don’t ship these pairs, that’s completely fine! you are not obligated to agree. this is a post about positivity.

FEATURING:

Jade x Skyler

Poppy x Skyler

Ruby x Bella

Sunny x Poppy

Bella x Sunny

Skyler x Violet

Bella x Amaya

💙SKYLER X JADE💚

i haven’t really thought of a ship name for them, but i’m getting nature vibes (blue like the water and green like the earth) so idk! maybe something elemental? i have no clue haha.

anyway this ship is so underrated! one of their most iconic moments (in my opinion) is the way they look at each other in the fashion studio commercial. ofc, there is more to them than that. i like how in tune these two are with their emotions. they feel them on such powerful levels. i feel like they can really connect this way, even when there’s a misunderstanding going on (episode four) i love how they made up. usually jade is the one to focus hard on projects, even if it’s in a sarcastic manner, but the roles sort of switched with skyler thinking about the project and jade being caught up in her emotions. i love how they made up & bonded at the end of the episode, too!

🧡POPPY X SKYLER💙

i also don’t know if these two have a ship name. maybe Blue Butterfly? or SkyFly? or Popler? i have no clue! but i do know that these two are super underrated! i have been shipping them from around episode three because they are just so cute! they definitely seem to have a close bond, especially being complimentary colour gals along with being roommates.

i feel like even though skyler gets very emotional, she is still pretty grounded & realistic. i think poppy gets caught up in her feelings in a different way than skyler does, so i imagine skyler could be someone who helps bring poppy back to her senses. i also imagine they are supportive gfs who give each other tips & advice from time to time. i feel like one of skyler’s fav things about poppy would be her sense of silliness as well as her skills with music. i can imagine poppy would often talk and brag about skyler to all of her friends.

❤️RUBY X BELLA💗

i haven’t really seen an established ship name for this pair nor have i come up with one for myself. i’m thinking of something along the lines of Valentines, Roses, Strawberry or Sweet Cherries! but i think this pair is very overlooked in the series.

they are definitely close, being roommates and all. they are both very amazing gals, impulsive in any way possible, and always there to help hype a friend up. i feel like they share a common interest in getting the job done, no matter what the cost is. ruby needed to prove her point to violet, even if it meant contradicting herself. bella wanted to take a photo of her set design, even if it meant losing her spot at rainbow high. i feel like this duo could accomplish a lot together, and they’re definitely smarter than they appear. i feel like they would do amazing things together!

💛SUNNY X POPPY🧡

i have seen Sunset used at this pairs ship name! i personally use Citrus but i think Sunset is just adorable! i feel like this is yet again, one of the most underrated duos in rainbow high

i love how poppy just knew her music would cheer sunny up when she was feeling down. i also love the chaotic energy these two hold. they simply share one brain cell. i feel like my top three scenes of theirs would be when they were dancing together in episode two, when they were trying to read the words behind the mirror in episode four, and when sunny was trying to stall from poppy entering her dorm room in episode twelve. i just love the goofy energy this duo radiates. cheerful girlfriends! i feel like they would have very little complications in a relationship together and would always come to mutual understandings.

💗BELLA X SUNNY💛

i personally refer to this ship as Pink Lemonade and i haven’t seen another ship name for them! but ive never really seen content about this duo. they haven’t gotten too many scenes in the series so it’s understandable. but of course, i see potential in them!

i feel like they would possibly be a thinker x feeler duo, so i already sense a sort of balance between them. they’re both very considerate and caring. i feel like sunny, with her naturally sweet and convincing personality, would be able to successfully handle bella’s impulsive decisions and i feel like bella would make sure sunny gets the care and support she deserves! they were both very caring of skyler and ruby’s whereabouts in episode six, and i feel like they would have fun working on projects together.

💙SKYLER X VIOLET💜

i don’t talk about this duo as much as i should! i refer to them as “Skylet” and they give me mega rarishy vibes! (from my little pony)

honestly, i think they aren’t so bad. ofc, there’s the factor that violet showed absolutely no care whatsoever for skyler’s breakup and really only wanted to stream it for her channel. i like to think that behind the scenes, violet realized that and apologized for it, and skyler was understanding and thanked her. i feel like the more developed version of violet pairs well with skyler. violet is another one of the impulsive, aggressive characters in rainbow high. she does what she wants when she feels like it. with skyler being someone who usually sees both sides to a situation & gives extremely helpful advice, i feel like she could ground violet when needed. that is, if violet were able to consider her words. i also think this duo would just generally be very soft! vi would totally give support to sky when she’s feeling v emotional.

💗BELLA X AMAYA🤍

okay hear me out. this duo has potential. of course, i can only really run off of headcanons and theories with my thoughts on this ship, since they lack content in the canon series. but i feel like they have potential. i kinda wanna call this ship Strawberry Marshmallow but idk haha. maybe there would be a cooler name that is kind of in reference to the episode 7/8 drama

i feel like bella, being considerate in the way she is, would definitely make sure amaya feels included during group tasks. they both play leadership roles and would honestly make a great power duo in that sense! another thinker x feeler ship in my opinion but they still share common personality traits that i feel wouldnt clash. of course, they have a misunderstanding going on in canon, and last we knew, bella wasn’t real fond of amaya. but she doesn’t know amaya personally so who is to say that wouldnt get along if they did!

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

@lyhoradka​ tagged me in that post about five bits of text from written media that are burned into your brain and, kindly, gave me a theme of places. i am going to annotate this because i am a bitch

1. holy places are dark places. the wisdom that we get in them is not thin and clear like water but thick and dark like blood. - cs lewis, till we have faces

im almost certain ive misremembered this one but its better this way. clive what the devil fuck were you trying to say with till we have faces. burn it down and start over with this. i have a sidenote about hope faith and love but thats beyond the scope of this discussion

2. night falls. the workers put down their tools and point to the sky. “there is the blueprint,” they say.  invisible cities, italo calvino

again idr if its sky or stars. this is the description of thecla from invisible cities, kindly appointed to me by my good friend venus. this is not the strongest one but it is a strong one and its for Me and i remember it. inna thought i was going to make this whole post about haunted houses and this one is completely the opposite; i’ll consider it aspirational

3. walk to the east till you can walk no more. swim east until you pass the sunrise; swim east until you pass the stars; swim east until you come to the edge of the sky. there you will find yourself on the shores of a different land. even in that place, they shall know your name, and mine. - adel, kc danine/unlikely flowerings, jenna moran

sorry i cheated on this one bc i looked up the attribution and found my memory was wrong. but i cut it up to match what i thought. this one is actually a combo with

3a. the sea will be the color night behind glass. then, slowly, it becomes green: first rain-wet slate, then darkest jade. green as fresh emeralds. green as remembered rivers - the sun beneath the sea, sunless seas

again ive hashed the first part of that but green as remembered rivers lives in my head rent free. these two live under the heading “an exile in the uttermost east”

4. THIS IS NOT A PLACE OF HONOR. NO HIGHLY VALUED DEED IS REMEMBERED HERE. NOTHING OF VALUE IS STORED HERE. 

the warning continues of course but the basis is here. the idea that we cannot produce something so horrifying and terrifying that it does not also fascinate us, as you might guess, fascinates me. nightmare and obsession are such close brothers

5. a woman drew her hair out tight/and fiddled in the violet light/and upside down in air were towers/tolling reminiscent bells that kept the hours/and voices singing out of empty cisterns and exhausted wells.

in my head sean bean reads these lines in his civ vi voice. why did so much weird fiction pattern weird bits of worldbuilding after this bit. not that i am immune. voices singing out of empty cisterns and exhauuusted wells

BONUS CONTENT

so many things i wanted to add that werent written or that i didnt have memorized perfectly enough

1i. the, like, entire first half of to tundra by los camp, which i will reproduce below

meet me at st nicholas among the oaks behind the church that sway like pigtailed girls as summer wind whistles around your bare-shin knees and the forsythia leaves in the shade lay with me tickled by the feather reeds thats where the trees grow old under the ivys hold as you in my two arms equally safe from harm and in a hazy daydream our bodies married the stream and we broke down into pebbles and silt the water ran from the fields until the oceans we filled and found the seabed the comfiest quilt

there was more life in the weeds than in the few hundred seats that rose from transept to chancel to nave [...]

2i. prim leaves her father’s house. i won’t reproduce the whole story here but there’s a girl prim and her father is the god hansa and they live in a house of iron nails and one day her dad is killed and she has to go bury him and takes nothing but his corpse and a single iron nail. and she traipses all across creation and the void looking for somewhere to bury him but every time she tries his corpse shouts at her for being shit at it. and eventually she collapses, and drops the nail and it springs right up into the same exact house, and she imagines crawling in there with her fathers corpse to die next to him and freaks out and then

A pale face came before her and she was abruptly struck from her despair as though by a great hammer. A beautiful stranger had appeared, mild and tall, of milky flesh, spare in figure, but radiant in voice and visage. "I know you," said the stranger in a small voice, "you are Prim."

"I was Hansa's orphan, the slave, Prim," croaked Prim in response, "and now I am nobody, just a small dirty thing in great emptiness and here I will die."

"No," said the stranger, and the clarity and firmness of her voice and smile send a shock through Prim, "you are Prim, and Prim only, and Prim you shall be." And Prim there realized her tears had made a great pool and she was greeting her own reflection. And she fell into that murky pool and straight away it turned clear as crystal and Prim vomited forth a great black knot from very deep within her, and her body was scoured and lashed by the icy waters of that pool, and great draughts of poisonous filth and despondency were drawn in rushing gasps from her wounds, and her skin was sealed and her soiled trappings were purged and the caked illness and death was ripped away and she rose from that pool fresh and humming. Her back straightened and she scarcely thought on her father's corpse or the faintest echo of that iron house.  That is how Prim left her father's house.

so basically abaddon scooped all of tsiy and every other haunted house writer in like five thousand words

3i. berenike

From my words you will have reached the conclusion that the real Berenice is a temporal succession of different cities, alternately just and unjust. But what I wanted to warn you about is something else: all the future Berenices are already present in this instant, wrapped one within the other, confined, crammed, inextricable.

4i. a ghost does not come to stand in the dark doorway of your room because it is an 18th century orphan girl named annie. a ghost comes to stand in the doorway of your room because the doorway is where things come to stand. - i am in eskew, david ward

the formats all fucked up now huh. this has influenced my thoughts on both psychogeo and necromancy. what a fucking guy. theres also the pope lick bridge one but

5i. i hope you will forgive me for including a bit from tsiy

I opened my eyes. I was kneeling at the base of a tree, at the top of a grassy hill, under starry night. Dad was standing a little ways back, head craned back to look at the tree. "What is this place to you?" he asked, looking around. The island came to an abrupt stop at the edges; it wasn't a floating island in space or anything, there just.....wasn't anything beyond the edge of it. Like looking past the edge of your own eyesight -- not the blackness of eyelids, but the colorless place beyond.

"I'll die here someday," I said, and meant it.

i really need to work on getting places and haunted places into the new draft. im slacking. but im also not allowed to go back and change anything rn or ill just never get anywhere

[myherowritings]

masterlist

© myherowritings — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, copying, or translating of any kind is not allowed. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize. thank you and have fun reading!

SOCIAL MEDIA AU MASTERLIST

HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST

TODOROKI SHOUTO

i. animal instincts

with your shapeshifting quirk, you take on the duty of becoming the resident undercover therapy cat for class 1-a. one day, you see todoroki restless in the middle of the night and try to comfort him in cat form. but what happens when he confides in you his feelings you weren’t meant to hear?

ii. into your arms

you’re prone to tripping and todoroki is prone to being there to catch you. or, in which you’re a bit of a klutz and, for a reason he can’t explain, shouto wants to make sure you never get hurt.

iii. an otome addiction

you become obsessed with the characters in the otome game, mystic messenger, and your boyfriend todoroki gets a little bit jealous.

iv. strawberry scented dreams

the 3 times todoroki falls asleep on you + the 1 time you fall asleep on him. shouto is always sleepy and needs some rest, and your shoulder just happens to be the comfiest place to get it.

v. can you keep a secret?

you and shouto are secretly dating and none of your classmates know. during a study session in todoroki’s dorm, kaminari, sero, and midoriya find your lacy thong under shouto’s desk and try to figure out whose it is.

vi. frosting fights

midoriya has been feeling sad lately, so you and todoroki (try to) bake him a cake in the middle of the night. 

vii. the panty thief

modern au. “my cat steals underwear and i come home to find you chasing my cat to get your underwear back.” in which todoroki is a new cat parent and you’re his new neighbor whose panties keep disappearing.

viii. overheated 

it’s super hot out and you feel like you’re dizzy and about to faint. todoroki is there to cool you off with his right side.

ix. jealousy for dummies

jealous of all the time shouto has been spending with yaoyorozu, you hatch up a plan with bakugou to give todoroki a taste of his own medicine.

x. ghostwriter masterlist [smau]

college au. you’re an aspiring writer with a longtime crush on the ghost hunter on campus, todoroki shouto. when you two are paired up for a semester-long journalism project, you come up with the perfect, foolproof plan to get him to fall for you.

xi. hearts intertwined

roommate au. you and todoroki have been roommates for months now but have barely had more than a two minute conversation. when quarantine hits and everyone is on lockdown, you find yourself forced to spend more time with him and actually end up…enjoying it?

xii. fictional crush

class 1-a has an avatar: the last airbender marathon and you can’t help but swoon over your fictional crush, prince zuko, leaving todoroki feeling a little jealous.

xiii. letters of my love [smau]

tatbilb au. you and your friends mail out your past love letters because you want to see your old crushes’ reactions. on accident, you mail your current crush’s letter. to make it seem like your crush on bakugou is gone, you fake date another letter recipient, todoroki shouto. 

xiv. eat the rich [series]

ceo/barista au. todoroki shouto was a wealthy, young ceo who inherited his father’s enterprise. you were a barista at a local cafe who wouldn’t mind some extra cash. one day, shouto came in during an early morning shift and tipped you such a large sum of money, you were certain it had to have been an accident. to your surprise and complete pleasure: it was not.

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

i. one hell of a knockout

boxer au. bakugou is a young pro boxer climbing his way to the top of the charts. one day, his friends kirishima and ashido invite you to a match. unbeknownst to you, you end up accidentally distracting katsuki during a fight and he gets a punch landed on his face.

ii. take you out

you ask bakugou out on a picnic date to the park, but he thinks you’re challenging him to a fight. you can’t tell who is more confused when the day finally comes.

iii. kitty kisses

your boyfriend and your cat don’t get along. bakugou keeps trying to come up with different ways to get your cat to finally warm up to him. (or, in which katsuki spends 3 hours baking treats for a tsundere cat.)

iv. “you’re hot when you’re angry”

you and bakugou get into a disagreement, you get pinned underneath him, and he smirks and realizes just how hot you are when you’re pissed.

v. a soothing touch

pro hero au. katsuki is sore and stressed from a long day at work but is too stubborn to let you give him a massage.

vi. “she’s my wife”

pro hero au. when bakugou forgets his lunch in the refrigerator, you decide to deliver it to him at his agency. but when you’re there, the new receptionist calls you a bitch. bakugou responds appropriately. 

vii. cold shoulder

pro hero au. whenever you and bakugou get into a disagreement, he blasts the air conditioner until you have no choice but to ask him to cuddle.

viii. the appreciation post

pro hero au. one of the responsibilities of being a pro hero in this day and age is having a social media presence. you tag bakugou in an appreciation post while he’s out in public and he gets embarrassed in the best way possible.

ix. slip of the tongue

pro hero au. during a charity interview with the top three heroes, deku and shouto “accidentally” give away ground zero’s crush on you. you’re asked about bakugou in an interview of your own and, during a fit of excitement, accidentally let your crush on him slip.

x. the jealous type | fanart

class 1-a has a game night in the common room. bakugou sees you and todoroki getting too close for comfort and can’t stop himself from getting jealous.

xi. a forgotten anniversary

pro hero au. it yours and bakugou’s one year anniversary, but he’s so busy with hero work that he forgets. you’re hurt and upset, but katsuki may have a few tricks up his sleeve…

xii. shirt on, bra off 

aged up au. bakugou sees you take off your bra, one-handed, and he can’t help but be in a bit of awe. 

xiii. bear hugs

you see your childhood friend, bakugou, for the first time in years and you greet him with a giant bear hug...only to find yourself in the nurse’s office right after. 

xiv. call me b-a-b-y

bakugou absolutely hates when you call him pet names. he hates the smile on your face when you say it, hates the way he can’t stop blushing-- he hates it. right?

xv. fever talk | fanart

pro hero au. “side effects may include: light-headedness, disorientation, and accidental confessions of love.” you help nurse a fever-ridden ground zero back to health, but little did you know it should have come with a warning.

xvi. the language of flowers

you decide to make the most of your nature quirk by giving your crush, bakugou, endless bouquets of flowers. 

xvii. fact or fiction? [18+]

pro hero au. ground zero’s crush on you has become painfully obvious to everyone, leading to an incessant amount of shipping. one day, he gets himself off to one of the many lewd stories about the two of you and you find out.

xviii. paparazzi

pro hero au. you and ground zero go on your first date as a public couple and the paparazzi won’t stop harassing the two of you. bakugou decides to take you to his house to cook for you and things begin to heat up in the kitchen.

xix. number neighbor masterlist [smau] 

college au. in which bakugou katsuki is a grumpy and sarcastic college student just trying to get his degree and you are his bubbly number neighbor who is determined to become his new “bestie.”

xx. all that ass [nn scenario] | fanart 

a number neighbor bonus fic. one night at the gym, you see a handsome guy with so much ass, you take a picture on the sly and send it to your number neighbor, bakugou, to freak out over. but what you don’t expect is for bakugou to reply with a picture of you from the same gym.

xxi. honey, honey

pro hero au. ground zero, deku, and shouto are scheduled to have a meet-and-greet at a primary school to boost their rankings. there, bakugou unexpectedly meets a kindergarten teacher with a sweet smile who likes to call people honey.

xxii. under my patrol

pro hero au. after seeing your boyfriend cheat on you on a night you were supposed to be on a date, you mope alone at a bar. stumbling home, you crash into the famous hero, ground zero.

xxiii. found a treasure

modern au. “it’s nice that your voice was the first thing i heard today.”

xxiv. mistletoe kiss

holiday au. after a few weeks of dating, you and katsuki still haven’t kissed. you hope that will change under the mistletoe this holiday season.

KIRISHIMA EIJIROU

i. the pizza delivery guy

modern au. your roommate orders a pizza with the special instructions, “send your cutest delivery boy ;)” and you’re left in begrudging awe when it actually works.

SHINSOU HITOSHI

i. you suck at gaming masterlist [smau]

youtuber au. you’re a youtuber known for your chaotic yet wholesome content and shinsou is a gamer who keeps getting accused of being an eboy. one day you upload a video trying your hand at gaming and shinsou tweets out about how much you suck.

ii. borrowed sweaters, stolen kisses

aged up. in a game of truth or dare, you’re dared to sneak into your crush’s dorm and steal one article of clothing to wear the next day. it just so happens that the hoodie you snatched was shinsou’s favorite sweater.

iii. turn on your airdrop masterlist [smau]

modern au. you’re at a theme park when kaminari dares you to airdrop memes to the first device that pops up and reluctantly, you give in. but never would you have thought they’d send you memes back… nor could you have guessed the person you were feeling a meme-connection with was your first love and first heartbreak, shinsou hitoshi.

iv. maybe it’s fate [toya pt. 25]

a turn on your airdrop written chapter. after discovering the mememate you fell in love with was your ex-boyfriend who broke your heart, you find yourself alone in a bar with a dead phone in a poor attempt to cope. the person who helps you at 3 a.m. is the last person you want to see.

KAMINARI DENKI

i. play me a song [smau]

youtube/celeb au. you’re an actress and singer who is highly adored by youtuber, kaminari denki. after his endless simping and thirsting on twitter, you finally decide to reply to one of his tweets.

TODODEKU

i. pinky promise

a quirk sends todoroki back in time and there he sees a four year old midoriya crying in the park. what better way to cheer him up than with some strawberry ice cream?

HEADCANONS 

HC: bakugou meets his s/o’s unsupportive parents

HC: pro hero shouto meets his quirkless s/o working at a hospital

HC: todoroki absolutely does not get along with his s/o’s male best friend

HC: shouto takes care of sore s/o

HC: bakugo + kirishima get a surprise kiss from s/o

HC: todoroki and s/o bake brownies and things get a little messy

HC: todoroki and s/o go to hanami (flower viewing)

HC: s/o peppers kisses all over todoroki’s face + he turns bright red

HC: todoroki and s/o have your first date at the aquarium

HC: iida + midoriya + todoroki react to their s/o whose nose twitches when cold/concentrated

HC: sleep deprived s/o with todoroki + bakugou

HC: getting high with kirishima + bakugou + todoroki [18+]

HC: baku + kiri + todo react to s/o being catcalled

HC: you’re harassed by a stranger and, to make them stop, you grab your friend [shouto + katsuki] and give him a kiss to prove he’s your boyfriend

HC: boyfriend!denki headcanons

HC: how baku + todo + kami kiss their s/o and what they taste like

HC: bakugou + todoroki cuddling headcanons

HC: bakugou + todoroki react to their s/o squeezing their butt

HC: bakugou + todoroki find their crushes diary and accidentally read it

HC: bnha as fuckboys (kami + todo + kiri + shin)

HC: autumn with todo + baku + kiri

HC: valentine’s day with baku + todo + shin

HC: shin + todo + baku replying to flirty anons

FAKE TEXTS

FT: prank texts on your crush todoroki

[pebblysand]

[may '21] - the life update no one asked for (and some quick links)

Hello team! How are you? What a month it has been! But: we have had some proper sun, the days are getting longer, I have gin&tonic with me to give me fuel to write this and it is now the 30th of april - yay! I know I'm bending the rules of these monthly posts a bit there, by writing the may post by anticipation but I really want to focus on 'proper' writing this weekend, so I hope that you will forgive me :).

But, first, some quick links to different blog pages you might not see on mobile :

to read my fics [links to the hinny ficfest fics: one ; two ; three]

to read my original work

fic recs [new additions]

proper blog/site [that I never update but maybe one day I’ll bother]

[NOTE: i am currently accepting prompts for short ficlets on the hp fandom if you fancy. my ask box is open :).]

Everything else, under the cut (contains: ETAs for current WIPs - say, if you’re waiting for chapter 8 of castles, for instance... -, reading lists, and life update)

Currently, I’m writing:

**Castles [HP - post-war canon]**

links extended a/n-s: chapter v ; chapter vi

This is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT the priority for the coming days. We are having a bank holiday here in Ireland on Monday and the main objective now is to get the first draft of next chapter done. I have the outlines (both general and particular) and have - maybe - around 15% of the actual chapter done. Due to external factors (more on that below), I've had quite a hard time finding the time and energy to actually focus on this over the past few weeks which is why I kind of booked out this weekend to Get Shit Done. Hopefully, it works. ETA for next chapter: 30th May.

**R O A R series**

Harry&Hermione one-shot [ETA: July probably]

An original horror/thriller story [ETA: this is the next thing (after castles chap 8 on the agenda. Considering the ETA for chapter 8 of castles, we're probably looking at beginning of June for this.]

Something to fill this silk prompt [ETA: TBD]

That Peaky Blinders fic I started and never finished [ETA: TBD]

** Hinny Ficfest **

I am very happy to announce that I'll have not one but two short stories coming out for the upcoming hinny ficfest. I obviously can't talk about them too much on here but here's what I can tell you.

- the first one will be called: [like fire in the rain] and answers to prompt 78 - "truth or dare". It's a short three sentence story (a format I used to enjoy but haven't done on tumblr in aaaaages) that's a bit angsty (you know me) and is set within the 'sunlit days' in year 6.

- the second one, I'm not too sure of the title yet, but right now I'm thinking of a line from a song by passenger called 'holes': [she said the wolf's just a puppy and the door's double-locked (so what'd you gotta worry me for?)]. this is (loosely) inspired by prompt 27 (Molly finding out about Ginny/Harry) the summer after the war, but has kind of grown into a what-if-castles-wasn't-my-headcanon kind of fic. It's currently just shy of 3,000 words. I'm considering posting it on AO3/FF as well by the time it comes out on here but I'm not sure. We'll see.

They're both fully written but need a bit of polish but will definitely be ready by the 10th :).

Currently, I’m reading:

Calypso by David Sedaris: I've finished this! It was absolutely lovely - would highly recommend if you're looking for a nice, non-fiction read. I'd probably give it four stars. Not magnificent but definitely worth a read.

I’ve started re-reading the Divergent series because I have the attention span of a five year old atm. -- Update: yeah, still there. I don't think I've picked this up recently.

I've also started Watch Her Fall by Erin Kelly. I really loved her thriller He Said/She Said so thought I'd give it a try. For now, it's fine but I've found it sort of hard to get into it if I'm honest.

I’m still labouring through Troubled Blood, the JKR/RobertGalbraith book (ugh), but I have made significant progress on this. I'm on page 789 so almost at the end. I cannot wait to be finished with it. On top of everything else, it's just way too long. And, that's coming from someone whose favourite HP book is OOTP.

In other news:

I have to say, this month's been a bit of a struggle. Not in terms of mental health but just a lot of things happening at once. I had my exams at the start of the month, obviously, then I went home to France. Then, Ireland decided to introduce mandatory hotel quarantine so I had to change my tickets, come back early to avoid it. Then, the day before I left, my mother had a stroke. I just - I don't want to dwell on this too much. It's over, now, she's fine, has (from what the MRI showed) very little damage to her brain. She's at home and living her best life. Frankly, she's a bit of a miracle. This being said, I can't explain to you the stress and anxiety and heartache of last few weeks, and of not knowing what to do. Of not being able to fly home, having to be in Ireland because I was starting a new job and couldn't afford the hotel quarantine; it was just a lot. I think I didn't even have words to put on it at the time, which is why I didn't write about it before. It's easier now, now that it's over. In the thick of it, I didn't know where to start.

Now, I also didn't want to mention this because I don't mean it as a sob story. I just feel like I should explain why I haven't been the best at putting content out, lately. For that first week after it happened, when we were waiting for the medical exams to come through, I had to start a new job, pretend to be 'happy to be here' and 'excited' like everything was fine and that alone kind of sucked all the energy out of me. I was texting her every half hour at the same time, anxiously waiting for a reply. She lives alone, you see, and she's the only family I have left. I feel bad about not being able to write, but it's been hard. I just couldn't focus. On top of that, while the new job is interesting (and it pays money, yaaaay!), it's just a new routine to get back into, so I've also been feeling very tired.

Additionally, the extrovert in me has been begging to see more of her mates, lately. The weather has been really nice and I'm so eager to go out that I have struggled to keep my resolutions of 'no, I'm staying in and writing tonight.' I used to get plenty of social interactions at work, back in the day, but now that I'm fully remote, all I want to do on my days off is see people (especially with the easing of restrictions in Ireland). I feel like overall, it's fair, though. Introverts have struggled in our society for years, now, it's fair that we, extroverts, during the pandemic, bear more of the burden. It's just that this sudden return of my social life has also not truly catered to much writing time, haha. Hopefully, May will be more stable.

I am feeling better, now. Mum is doing good, the results of her MRI were very positive and the only real thing that's changed is that she says she's 'exhausted' which I guess can be expected after a stroke, haha. She's a warrior and I love her. This week, I've been feeling finally more able to focus and with the bank holiday, I really hope to get some proper writing done. I just need to escape in the magic of HP again, haha.

Anyways, sorry for this rather grim update. I suppose I also want to be honest and say that it's not always rainbows and butterflies. Here's to May, though. Hopefully, it'll treat us better :).

[callmeelle22]

Blue Dream III

Pairing: Iris West x Barry Alen

Rating: E

Chapter Word Count: 4, 559

Summary: A series of sporadic dates between Iris and Barry turn into something more, a story in its own making.

Chapter I: Primetime

Chapter II: It's Cool

Chapter III: Anything; It would make sense, she supposes, if looking at her also feels like this for him, like her heart beats in time with every breath he takes and like time slows or stalls or...like every minute here is infinitely longer and in these moments… in these moments, she thinks that the world must somehow tilt on its axis because she feels...i feel you comin' down like honey, do do you even know i'm alive?, do do you even know i, i... she feels… (Read below or on the AO3 link on the chapter title.)

Chapter IV: Comfortable

Chapter V: The Way

Chapter VI: Can't Take My Eyes Off of You

Chapter VII: I'm in Love with You

Chapter VIII: Blue Dream

Anything

Maybe I should kill my inhibition

Maybe I'll be perfect in a new dimension

On the Saturday the week after Barry’s impromptu visit, Iris finds herself down on Main Street about half an hour after 10 in the morning. Nearly the entire 8 blocks of the street are sectioned off, with a plethora of white tents set up on both sides of the street. She glances on as she makes her way down the sidewalk, as people set up books and jewelry and clothes; beer and wine and harder liquor; food and sweets and other treats.

It’s the setup for Central City’s Fall Fest, one of a multitude of fests in the city that Iris calls home. It’ll be open to the public in a few hours and, like usual, Iris will make her way up and down the blocks a few times, holding a beer in one hand and something fried on a stick in the other, a couple of bags filled with things she doesn’t need in the crook of her elbow.

Now, though, she steps into the alley that leads to the side door of Golden’s, an Asian and American fusion restaurant and bar owned by the parents of her best friend, Linda Park. She gives a heavy-handed couple of knocks and only moments later, Linda opens the door to let her in.

Iris first met the other women when they were in the 7th grade. Iris’s parents had divorced several months prior to a new school year and for reasons not then known to Iris, her dad had gotten full custody of her and six-year-old Wally. They’d moved into a new house on the other side of town and that had meant a new school for her. Linda had sat beside her in their homeroom/advisory class and the girl with beige skin and long dark brown hair was constantly scribbling something in a notebook. Iris had discovered that they’d been stories, usually with families as the starring characters. By then, Iris had begun to write in her own notebook—musings and wonderings about the neighbors she’d just met, about what it meant to be the oldest child of divorced parents. They’d bonded over their writing; well, that and being two of only a handful of girls at the school with skin darker than the pale and spray-tanned skin of their classmates.

For over a decade, it’s been Iris and Linda. Through the messy stages of puberty and their even messier interactions with high school boys; through late-night study binges and even worse interactions with college boys. Through the drug addiction that took Iris’s mom and the car crash that had put Linda’s older brother on life support until he’d succumbed to his own injuries, they’ve navigated it all together.

Now, life gets in the way. Linda, almost immediately after undergrad graduation, had begun shopping around a number of short stories and personal essays she had written until, finally, a publisher had bit and opted to publish them as an anthology. A few years and too many nights spent locked in a room later and Linda’s book is a New York Times bestseller. Iris’s own success story is pending. In addition to completing her graduate degree (which, at 26, she’d started late, after taking some time off and working at a local newspaper), she runs a blog, one she’d started by accident. Her middle school musings had become pointed interviews and, with the classes she’d taken in college, had gotten the necessary skills to begin writing up her own human interest stories. It’s amazing, she’s learned, what people will tell you when they can hide behind the face of someone else. What a Life You’ve Lived is growing in popularity, making some money too, and it’s starting to become more than just a hobby for Iris.

Neither Iris nor Linda is ever truly free; but in a concentrated effort to make time, they brunch at least twice a month. This morning, it’s at Golden’s (where Linda is working as a bartender while she writes her next book) because her parents want them to try out new menu items. When the door shuts behind them, Linda turns and gives Iris a hug, wrapping her arms around her neck. Iris returns it, smiling into her hair, her familiar lavender scent a warm comfort she didn’t know she needed.

“I’ve missed your beautiful face,” Linda says, squeezing her hard once before letting her go.

“Yeah?” Iris asks, mouth lifting in a smirk. “Is it because you’re tired of looking at Daniel’s beautiful face?”

Linda rolls her eyes. “Never, though I’d rather put my eye out before I tell him that.”

Linda has been dating her boyfriend Daniel Ngyuen, nerdy engineer and man ridiculously head over heels for her, for a few months, after they met at a book signing hosted by Linda’s parents.

“You’re ridiculous,” Iris tells her, and Linda preens in response.

Something in Iris tightens, a faint film of green clouding her view for all of a millisecond. She’s ashamed she even had the thought, that she feels anything but happiness at the light in her friend’s chocolate brown eyes or the glow in her cheeks. She’s not jealous of Linda, of course she’s not. But Iris can’t help but find some envy at the feeling of contentment that so obviously surrounds her friend and the juxtaposition of her own drifting existence.

It’s almost tangible, these differences, at least to her. Iris can see the confidence practically emanating from Linda’s dress-clad form, the long-sleeved maxi dress and tall sandals, her wavy shoulder-length hair, making her look a little like a goddess. But Iris imagines that’s what it must look like, to be at the start of a career you’ve always wanted, to have the love of a man you’re secure in, to just...know your place, your purpose.

And maybe Iris is being dramatic. She supposes she looks as put together as she’s always thought she needed to be in her light denim jeans, pale pink cropped sweater, and tan block-heeled sandals. She’s been wearing her natural hair out this week and the wavy curls are piled up in an artfully messy bun. Still, even if Iris can’t touch on why she feels so scattered, like all of the pieces that make up the whole of her are floating aimlessly around her body, she cannot deny that the feeling is there, taking up space in her head like the songs she latches on to keep focused, maybe I should pray a little harder, or work a little smarter.

They walk through the restaurant, bustling with the waitstaff preparing for the 11 am opening. Golden’s isn’t an overly large place, only able to fit about 50 people at a time, but Iris thinks it’s a part of the charm. It’s decorated in dark brown wood and bright white and gold light fixtures; the tables and booths are spread out in a way that allows for privacy, making customers feel as if they’re in their own little worlds.

Linda leads them to their usual table, one actually tucked into a little alcove where only the Parks and their guests are allowed to sit. At the table, there’s already a carafe of juice too close to red-pink to be orange juice, along with a bottle of champagne. Outside of the wine and marijuana Friday nights and the occasional party or club, Iris only really indulges in alcohol when she and Linda have these brunches. They slide into the booth and Linda immediately reaches for the champagne.

Over the next couple of hours, Iris is reminded of why, regardless of her own issues, she loves his woman. They laugh, sharing stories of Iris’s students and the customers who come into Golden’s. They get on each other’s nerves, making jokes and ribbing the other any chance they get. At one point, Linda’s parents come out, her honey-skinned Chinese mother Xuan and her dad Theo, Chinese and white with skin like baked sugar cookies, and Iris blinks adoringly up at the both of them, always lost in their beauty—both tall and elegant with ridiculous cheekbones.

“It’s sickening,” Linda mutters as she watches Iris watch them walk away, “how you look at them.”

“I’ve had a crush on your parents for as long as I’ve known them,” Iris replies. “If they ever want a thre-”

“Don’t you finish that fucking statement,” Linda gripes and Iris howls in laughter until Linda points out the attractiveness of Iris’s own father. “You know I’d always hop on the chance to be your stepmom.”

“And I’d happily sabotage your wedding day.”

“But it’d be worth it when I got to climb on top of Daddy West during the honeymoon.”

Iris throws a strawberry at her.

She hears him before she sees him. She’s been at Fall Fest for only about twenty minutes after leaving Golden’s, full and tipsy, walking through the steadily filling streets. Of all of the festivals in Central City, of which there are several (seasonal fests like the Fall and Spring fests; food fests like the Food Truck and Italian Food fests; cultural fests like the Juneteenth and Hispanic Heritage fests), the Fall Fest is one of her favorites. It’s during the best time of the year, when the sun is still blazing but the wind cuts through the heat. When the leaves have begun to drift off trees and dance onto the ground, changing into the shades of yellow and orange and red that only nature can paint. When the booths run the gamut in what they sell, from cooked and packaged foodstuffs, to clothes and jewelry, to dance or golf lessons. It’s the one festival, besides the Pan-African Celebration, that their entire family would attend, even for a few years after the divorce. Her parents would take off work and put aside their differences to spend time together--until Wally had felt too old and her dad had needed too many more work hours and her mom had gotten too lost; and then Iris had started coming with Linda and then, this year, alone.

But she doesn’t dwell—she tries not to dwell these days—and besides, she’s just heard him.

He doesn’t sound any different in the light of the day. In her head, she keeps hearing him as he is in the throes of passion, when his voice is more of a throaty curse, when it’s a rumble against her heated flesh. Here, out here with children screaming from their blocked-off sections and ladies laughing as they smell through candle selections and men arguing from the faux sports bars set up at random tents, he should sound like anyone else. He shouldn’t even be heard over the music coming from the speakers they can’t see—down for the ride, down for the ride; you could take me anywhere; do do do down for the ride, down for the ride; you could take me anywhere; i hope you will, I hope you will, I hope you will—or the sheer noise that’s true for events like this. But he is.

She looks up, ignoring the woman still trying to convince her to buy a bottle or three of perfume, and she sees him, right at the booth beside hers. He’s with two other men, one shorter with light brown skin and dark brown eyes and black hair pulled back in a ponytail; the other only a bit taller than the friend, with skin darker than Iris’s, glasses, and a short afro. Iris vaguely thinks that the three of them together are some sort of setup for a bar joke. They’re dressed similarly, in pants and t-shirts, though Iris’s eyes catch onto Barry’s hunter green chinos and white shirt, the beige pocket square matching his desert boots. All three of them have relatively full beers in their hands and Iris is looking at the cup in Barry’s hand (or rather, his fingers wrapped around the cup) for about three seconds before it jerks, beer spilling out. She looks up to find he’s looking back at her too, muttering “Iris,” in surprise.

She watches her hand and smiles back at him, a bit awkwardly, stepping away from the booth where the woman has already moved on to a new customer.

“Hi Barry,” she responds, walking over to them. She spares a glance at the other two, the Black man looking at her curiously, the Latino man a bit more humorously. “Fancy seeing you here.”

It’s not her smoothest line, but Iris thinks she might be in shock. When he’d left her, again, before she woke up on Saturday morning, she’d found his number written in tiny handwriting on the notepad on her desk, the unimaginative “call me” scribbled beneath it. She hadn’t. She’d thought about; oh had she.

On Monday, she’d debated calling him up to grab a coffee during her break. On Wednesday, she’d gotten an email about a new story and she’d wondered, for a moment, what he might think about it. But then she’d thought of his sweet mouth telling her “I wanted to know if it was as good as my memory,” and she had decided that he likely wouldn’t care about her days.

Now, he gives her a thorough once-over, probably remembering, and Iris feels a flush of heat run through her that she knows has very little to do with the warm late September sun.

“Iris,” he says again, his voice a touch higher than normal. His companions look at each other, eyebrows raised.

“Iris,” the long-haired one repeats, laughter coloring his tone. “I’m Cisco.”

“And I’m Chester,” says the one with dark skin, and they both stand there looking at her, grinning like loons until Barry cuts in.

“Alright, stop being weird.”

They don’t. Barry rolls his eyes and pushes past them to stand in front of her. Even with the heels she’s wearing, she has to stretch her neck a little to look up at him.

“Hey,” he says, this time lower, a soft breeze on her skin.

“Hi,” she repeats, just as softly.

The sounds of the carnival don’t disappear so much as they become muted, such as if she were submerged in water or if there was a rushing in her ears, because everything becomes background noise save for the concentrated sound of his voice.

“You didn’t call,” he says to her.

“I—” she starts, but she’s got nothing to say, not anything that won’t make her sound needy or desperate.

“Hey Barry,” Cisco calls.

“Yeah?” Barry answers, but he doesn’t turn away from her. No, he’s looking at her still, assessing her almost. He’s trying to figure something out, she decides, or at least that’s how it seems, what with the way he stares so intently, blue-green eyes pouring into her, bringing up images of them staring up at her from between her thighs, bringing out impressions that feel like more than lust, like more than just two people who’ve only ever bared their bodies to each other.

“We’re gonna go to another tent,” Chester says. “Catch up with you later.”

“Alright,” is the reply, those eyes glittering like the sea in the afternoon sun, still fixed on her. There’s a slight frown to his mouth, and when he speaks again, she can’t tell if he’s reached his conclusion or not.

“Walk with me?”

She nods before she even thinks about it. “Sure.”

They start back down the path. The booths are in abundance this year; it’s a bigger festival than she’s seen before. For a while, they don’t talk. They walk side by side, arms brushing every so often, stopping at booths that catch their attention. For him is a booth with a variety of multi-piece puzzles, some featuring landscapes and gardens, others of the solar system or space. For her, it’s one selling notebooks, beautiful leather-bound journals. She stops, enthralled, picking up one in coral-colored leather with rose-gold edging.

“We can also engrave the name,” the sun-tanned woman with pale blonde hair behind the tent says. “Or you can order custom colors.”

Iris nods, murmurs, “these are really nice,” and continues flipping through the heavy cream paper in the coral notebook. These days, much of her writing gets done on her overused Macbook; it’s just easier that way. But when she writes, for herself—little anecdotes about her day, her feelings spelled out in poetry—she does so in notebooks like these.

“You’re a writer,” Barry wonders and it’s a statement as much as it’s a question.

“Yeah.” She looks up at him and nods. “I’m actually getting my master’s in journalism.”

She puts the journal down once she notes the $40 price tag and thanks the woman as they walk off, Iris looking back at the notebook with longing.

“I also run a blog,” she tells him, and the words tumbling out of her mouth are a shock.

“Really?” he looks at her in surprise. “What’s the site? Is it popular?”

It’s not like she’s embarrassed of her blog or anything, but it feels different, to tell people she knows about her work. Because it’s one thing for strangers to read what she types out in earnest, and in tears and in vulnerability, but it’s something altogether different for people she knows to do the same. They aren’t her stories, not actually, but they are always her words, always her emotions she puts into them, and it feels too, too telling somehow.

“It’s growing in popularity,” she tells him, because she’s the one who opened this can of worms. “It’s called What a Life You’ve Lived.”

He hums, like that means something to him, but before she can ask what, two kids come barreling through the aisle. Iris tries to step out of the way and she slips, her heel catching in a small crack in the asphalt. Her knees buckle, but before she can hit the ground, Barry’s arms are around her. One of his large hands holds onto her, pressed against the bare skin of her belly, and then she’s pressed fully against him.

It’s absurd how much she likes the feel of him—the slim but corded muscles in his arms, the apparent strength in his fingers; and she likes the smell of him too, the faint hint of his laundry detergent mixed with the heat of the sun mixed with the citrus of his cologne. It’s another moment (™), which doesn’t make sense because he’s only just caught her from falling. But he’s looking at her like there is more in her gaze besides the brown of her irises, the flutter of her lashes. It would make sense, she supposes, if looking at her also feels like this for him, like her heart beats in time with every breath he takes and like time slows or stalls or...like every minute here is infinitely longer and in these moments… in these moments, she thinks that the world must somehow tilt on its axis because she feels...i feel you comin' down like honey, do do you even know i'm alive?, do do you even know i, i...she feels…

“Are you alright?”

Barry’s voice is quiet, too quiet for the energy they’re surrounded by. And maybe she doesn’t even hear it as she does read the movement of his pink mouth.

“Yeah, I am.”

He straightens, then, and gives her a half-smile. “You know, Iris, if you wanted to fall all over me, you could have just called.”

He likely had been trying for levity, but it’s pointed, right there at the end. She steps away from him and he lets her, his fingers sliding along the small of her back until they’re no longer on her skin. It leaves her cold

(only that can’t be true, because it’s far too warm out)

and she watches as he stuffs his hands into his pockets.

“I was waiting on your call, Iris.”

They've moved into a corner where the direction of the festival booths turn right. Straight ahead of them is a 21+ section; it features a stage where performances will begin around 5 as well as a number of makeshift bar stations. There’s a similar set-up with kid-friendly activities on the other side of the festival. Barry’s friends are standing at one of the bar stations talking to two women, both with chestnut-brown skin and long kinky hair. Iris’s eyes shift to take in the rest of her surroundings, to the sound of people laughing and the couples holding hands and the families who seem elated to be together on a day like today.

When she turns back, Barry is patiently watching her, head tilted to the side, expression thoughtful, like it always tends to be.

“Have dinner with me tonight,” Barry suggests “We can walk around some more. And once we get sun-tired, I can take you to this spot that I like nearby and we can talk. Maybe about why you didn’t call.”

She licks her lips, pulls the bottom one between her teeth. She hedges, long enough to tell herself that this would be a foolish endeavor, that she should just say no, that he’s nice and cute and what harm would it do. But, really, when he asks, those cyan eyes gleaming and his cheeks faintly pink and his face so goddamn hopeful it almost makes her look away, she really has no other choice.

“Okay, sure.”

She doesn’t tell him why she doesn’t call.

What she does is tell him about her dad and how she’s always been in awe of him, of his grace and his strength and the lessons he’d taught her. She tells him about Wally, who’s brilliant and searching, trying to figure out his way (not unlike her, though this she doesn’t say). She tells him about Linda, her sister in all of the ways that count, who’s always with her, even when she isn’t. And when he asks, because of course he does, she tells him about her mother who was beautiful and kind, all the way until sickness took her away.

She tells him this because he tells her first, about a larger-than-life father whose proximity to wrong-doing bureaucrats had landed him in prison, and an easy-going mother whose life had ended because someone else had been desperate for the money in her purse.

They do indeed walk around ‘til they’re tired, until around 6. Then Barry takes her to a little American bistro where they pride themselves on grass-fed meats and homegrown vegetables. They devour burgers the size of their heads and a mountain of fries that deserve their own table. He stuffs her with food and a piece of pie after, and he asks her some questions. He wants to know her favorite color and the television show she’s currently watching and if she’s always wanted to be a writer: yellow and Bridgerton and only since her parents’ divorce, when she’d needed to know that hers was only a unique story—or maybe she had needed confirmation that it wasn’t. She wonders about his dream job, his favorite hobby, the one thing he wishes he could do: forensic scientist, which he is, amateur theater, and getting his dad out of prison. That opens up a space for more convolution than should be allowed on a first date, and so she asks him more about amateur theater.

After, he walks her back to where her car is parked past Golden’s. When they get there, he listens for the sound of her car alarm, and then he turns her around, pressing her back against her car door. He walks closer, a hand at her waist, the other reaching up to cup the back of her neck, thumb circling lightly around her throat.

“Thank you for dinner,” she whispers. “I had a really nice time.”

“Yeah?” His mouth ticks up, that half-smile that is somehow both charming and a little bit maddening. “Enough that I might get a kiss?”

She tilts her head as if in thought, even as she gives in to her desire to touch him too, reaching up to finger at the faint moles dotting her cheeks. She only barely nods her acquiescence when he closes whatever distance is left and kisses her. Iris is always surprised by how warm his mouth is, by how sweet he tastes. He tastes like the apple pie they had earlier, but also like early sunset coffee on cool fall mornings and like how slow sex in the middle of the night feels.

He’s gentle in some ways, his mouth moving slow against hers, his tongue licking into her mouth like he’s trying to find life inside of her. But he’s a little rough too, squeezing at her waist so he won’t fondle her in the middle of the street, tightening his hold on her throat, only a little, but enough that Iris begins to feel the action in the throb of her sex. They kiss, eyes closed, her own fingers scratching at the nape of his neck, her hips thrusting against his in time to the flick of his tongue across her bottom lip, until she feels the swell of his dick against her belly and her loud moan tears him away from her.

“Fuck Iris,” he all but growls, licking his lips as he looks her over, a little wrecked. She hadn’t even realized she was doing it, playing with the soft strands of his hair, until she notices it’s all messy, matching the state of his swollen mouth, his wrinkled skirt, the heavy dent in the center of his pants. She wonders what she looks like.

“Get in the car, baby.”

Wide-eyed at the endearment outside of sex, Iris does as he tells her to, sliding in and buckling up before he closes the door. When the purr of her engine starts, he motions for her to roll her window down. She does, waiting as he plants his elbow on top of the car, bending his lean frame down so that his face is level with her.

He smiles softly at her. “Go out with me next Sunday.”

She bites at her lip, if only to give herself another moment to breathe. Because this date would be moving beyond a two-night stand, beyond an impromptu date, far beyond kissing on the side of the street.

“What time on Sunday?”

“Early afternoon,” he says and leans in even closer. “I’ll pick you up.”

She nods before she can talk herself out of it, even if she knows that she should. Barry motions for her with a crook of one of his long fingers, and it makes her think of what’s been playing in her head, of down for the ride, down for the ride; you can take me anywhere, and when she comes to, he places a sweet kiss on her mouth.

“I’ll see you next week,” he says, pulling away slowly.

And then Iris watches him—his strong and assured walk, his compelling and commanding aura—until she can’t see him anymore.

Do do do down for the ride, down for the ride

You could take me anywhere

I hope you will, I hope you will, I hope you will