#not to romanticize my friends but i did fall a little in love w her that night

[danothan]

speaking of sharing one bed, one of my fondest memories is when i visited my friend cierra and brought her back to the hotel so that we'd stay up all night talking. my mom was already asleep on one of the beds, so we had to whisper and everything felt so intimate and secretive and fun

it got rly late and i could tell she was getting tired, but one thing abt me is that i never sleep first at a sleepover, so i told her we didn’t have to keep talking, we could pick it up later. but she made a challenge out of it. she said she didn’t want to “miss anything” and was going to stay up as late as possible until i tired myself out of talking, which we both knew wasn’t going to happen, but i accepted the challenge anyway

so i continued rambling abt god knows what, and i could see her getting sleepier and sleepier, but against all odds she was still responsive. i suggested that she should at least lie down, and i could keep talking until one of us (her) passes out. so she got in bed and i got on the little corner chair, and she was like why are you doing that. get on the bed.

my blood froze i won’t lie. i think i just dismissed it or smth bc she said ���i don’t mind” and i told her “ik you don’t, but i do.” i have a huge thing abt touching and the thought of accidentally touching someone in my sleep makes me sick. and she knew that. but then she said “i can sleep under the blanket and you can sleep over it so that it creates a barrier. and i'm not making you sleep on the chair in YOUR hotel room.”

idk if she knows how much it touched (ha) me that she took that into consideration and how much i still think abt it. so we laid like that w me continuing my rambles and her responses getting shorter and mumblier. i started talking abt things i knew she didn't give a shit abt if only to hear my own voice as proof of my consciousness, and by 4am, i turned over and went “cierra?” to no response. so i told her goodnight and fell sound asleep over the blanket

anyway that’s the closest i ever lived out fanfiction

[magicwithineleteo]

i know that a lot of people say that ricky’s confession to nini in 1x10 is cringey and you can tell joshua improvised it but i think it was perfect for rini because everything he said was never shown in the show

in his confession, he goes on about past experiences w nini that we as the audience never saw. this is so perfect for rini because the sole reason they came back to each other in the first place was because gina left and they started talking about their past in 1x08.

ricky specifically was growing after he stopped chasing nini in 1x05 and where he started to really get closer to gina. gina is the embodiment of change, and ricky absolutely hates change. she helped him a lot, he’d reach to text nini or something like that and then gina would end up saying the right things needing to help him.

ricky and nini only started to “fall back in love” after gina left. ricky didn’t think he would ever see gina again (her saying there’s no point in calling her anymore and not responding to his dozens of texts) so he ended up regressing back to who he was pre-gina.

this included being in love with nini.

and this may not make sense and may sound dumb but i think it just summarizes rini’s relationship, the fact that them coming back together was based on moments the audience never saw.

we never saw rini as kids, ricky microwaving her doll, them coming up with their nicknames for each other, etc. everything they reminisce on before.

ofc the show isn’t gonna show this stuff because the show is in the present, not their past.

but i find it interesting that their memories are somewhat baseless to the audience because we never see them.

whereas with gina’s confession in 3x08, we saw everything she looked back on. when they met, her giving him the hat, etc. everything with rina, we saw. we saw them both grow. we saw them help each other. we saw gina validate ricky and support him during his world falling apart while everyone else was berating him. and we saw ricky accept gina when no one else did, him being her first friend at east high and help her break down her walls a little. i imagine she doesn’t let herself get emotionally attached to anyone whenever she moves, so it doesn’t hurt when she leaves. that’s why in the beginning she primarily looks out for herself and has her walls up.

ricky breaks down those walls, and she later gets hurt because she let them down. since he got back with nini after thinking he would never see her again.

“maybe i’m safer when i’m on the run, no time to open up my heart. maybe i’ll hide behind my walls again, instead of tearing them apart.”

anyway

sorry, just a random thing that i liked about the show, the fact that rini’s whole foundation was based on them romanticizing their past; it just foreshadowed that they weren’t going to last.

[allmyfriendsarethreeyearsaway]

5/11/22

I don’t think I understand what a friendship is.

I seem to keep getting it confused with other things, like family. Like love.

When I was a child I thought that was what we were supposed to do. I and my best friend would romanticize the idea of friendship not realizing we couldn’t stand the sight of each other.

We called each other family. We said we had each other. We didn’t need anything else.

That was a mistake.

I think I fell in love with each close friendship I had, and I made a mistake. Maybe I cared too much or maybe I thought I was loved more than what was possible or even realistic.

    “The best friends of our childhoods are the loves of our lives, and they break our hearts in worse ways.”

Every friend I had was a sip of water after running miles. Vital but never enough.

I loved them in a way that a mother should love their children. I shouldn’t have, I understand that now, but you could never understand without seeing someone sleeping and covering them with a blanket. Without wondering if they are okay after a fight and buying snacks thinking they would love it.

Truth is, maybe I wanted to save them as much as I wanted to be saved. I wanted to have something of mine. Someone I can call mine, without having to have romantic feelings involved. I always found friendships deeper than relationships and it led me to believe everybody did too.

It doesn’t work like that. You fall in love and the Earth starts spinning around them. You don’t leave much space left in your mind and heart for anyone else.

I had many children, come to think of it. I didn’t mind it. Some of them were terrible people and I completely ignored it, just like a mother would. Some had unhealthy obsessions which led them to make me the villain. I let them. I tolerated them. I prayed it would be over soon. When they get through puberty.

It’s such a funny though, but also a tragic one. We were the same age. I shouldn’t have been more mature or reasonable. I should’ve been a teen like the rest of them.

For some reason I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to drink until I couldn’t walk and make bad decisions. I couldn’t go to parties and kiss people. I couldn’t completely ignore my classes and go out.

And worst of all, I couldn’t be a child. I couldn’t be a teenager, either. I could only ever be an adult stuck in a growing body with so little to act on.

She abused me, humiliated me to the point of no return. She made me doubt my abilities, my strength, my intelligence.

She made me believe I could never be something beautiful.

She reminded me of all the things I didn’t have and beat me with it. She hurt me simply because she could and she wanted to.

And now, after 5 years, I find myself wondering and worrying if she’s okay. She’s in a new city without her parents and money, she must be miserable.

Still, that doesn’t please me. I don’t like that she’s being tested with the things she hit me with. I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone, because I know how hard it is.

I wonder if she’s struggling with her studies. I could help her if I wanted, but sadly I don’t want that. I wouldn’t help her academically if the world was swallowed by a pig. She is the one that made me into this. An ambitious, hateful mess.

I hope she’s doing okay. She doesn’t deserve it, not one bit but still.

I do hate her. I hate her for all the years she made me believe I would never get better. Never be good enough. I hate her for not being there for me. I hate her for not being kind to me. I hate her for all the times she humiliated me, called me ugly and stupid.

We all know that’s not true. We all know now that I am a very capable and beautiful woman with a lot to offer. But a child will believe anything. I believed it. Some part of me is still trying to get over all the vile and disgusting things she said to me.

I deserved an apology, and I got it. It didn’t satisfy me. I needed her to see that I was better than her, more beautiful, more intelligent. That I was so much stronger than her. I was everything she could only dream of being. And the moment I gave up that thought, I was.

I really was everything she worked so hard to be. Better. Stronger. Smarter. And it felt amazing. I wanted to hit her with it. I wanted to throw her off a cliff with the success and support I had.

Instead, she told me about how her dad’s business went bankrupt and how she couldn’t see her brother anymore and I wished her a good life.

I didn’t throw her off a cliff. I was at the top. I didn’t need anyone to know how good I was doing.

I couldn’t carry the weight of all the hurt she caused anymore, so I left it with her. She can do whatever she wants with it now. I forgive her, but I don’t think the child inside me ever can. For whatever its worth, I am glad I got out of her claws before it was too late. I have only myself to thank for that.

    “God is a woman. Godhood is very similar to girlhood, begging to be believed.”

Nobody believed me, so I raged as any god would. I ran and they told me not to. I sat and they asked me why. I smiled and they turned it upside down, then the entire world filled with men telling me to smile, I would look prettier then.

I was always at the wrong place at the wrong time. I was always trying to get it right, not wanting to believe this was a game I couldn’t win.

I wanted to do it right. I wanted to live fully. Even as a child I thought my life was planned ahead of me. I would become a therapist and have a dog. No spouses. No friends. I was being realistic. I didn’t think anyone would love me then, or ever.

I studied well. I read and wrote. I tried to learn as much as I could. I wanted to find people turning their suffering to art and beauty like me. I went to movies and theatres and museums. I read more. I studied languages. I didn’t smoke or drink. I didn’t get lost in boys and affairs.

I didn’t have a crush on a teacher, didn’t even find interest in any of them as people. I didn’t have a significant other. I didn’t show interest in boys, or girls for that matter.

I wasn’t overweight, in fact I was in shape. I rode on my bike frequently. I didn’t consume caffeine. Didn’t need to.

I never had trouble sleeping. Never stayed up late to study for an exam. Never got in a fight.

I didn’t talk much or too little. Still, I had so much to say.

I was the responsible one. I was the friend that picked you up when you were drunk. I was the one telling you to get your shit together. I was the one teaching you things right before the exams.

I was the one you named to your parents and they let you go, no questions asked.

I was the friend that kept people wondering how someone could do this. I guess I still am. If I still have any friends left, that is.

I tried to do it all. And for the most part, I did. I got into medical school. I kept my promise.

Didn’t bring dad back. Still.

I was the hated friend. I was the one that didn’t let you prank that poor boy. I was the one that kept you from drinking before the exams. I was the one telling you that you are going to regret this later.

Everyone hated me. I wanted them to be safe. I wasn’t fun. I couldn’t afford to be. I was the one that didn’t get invited to things. I was the last one to find something out.

[hopetofantasy]

Actress Nora Dari (wtFOCK): “I hope I don't go crazy. I wouldn't be surprised if that happens”

Two years ago she was allowed to bump into Matteo Simoni in ‘Patser’, now your fifteen-year-old knows her as Yasmina from ‘wtFOCK’ and she ended up in Cannes because of the new film by Bas Devos. Where it ends for Nora Dari remains to be seen, but you don't want to get in her way. “You’ve been looking so long for a Moroccan girl who wants to act and then you get me.”

“So I always try to be a bit low key...” She hesitates. "Eumh, do you know what 'low key' means?" "How much of antique do you think I am exactly?" “Gosh. You have a flip cover for your smartphone, I saw.” “Point for Dari. But what are you trying to be a bit low key...” “Huh? Sorry, I have no idea anymore. I was completely distracted by that pigeon over there.” It’s easy to forget - especially when she starts talking in her Genk dialect about her sky-high ambitions or her tough childhood in Winterslag - that Nora Dari is barely seventeen. After all, she’s already accumulated a nice record of achievements in two years. From the Belgian-Finnish crime series ‘Bullets’ (shown on Telenet) and a leading role in ‘wtFOCK’, the online series of SBS and Telenet, to her supporting role in ‘Ghost Tropic’, the most recent full-length movie by Bas Devos, who made the selection of Quinzaine des Réalisateurs in Cannes in May. The day after our conversation at an Antwerp terrace, she  leaves for London, for a fourth and final audition for a lead role in an international film project. “It looks good, but I can't tell you anything about it yet. That’s a tough assignment for me: my whole body really wants to scream. Seriously, I'm pretty much the Moroccan Tom Holland (Spider-Man, and the spoiler king of Marvel's Cinematic Universe). But I'll remain silent!”

How does a large, international production house ends up at your door? Nora Dari: “I started knocking on their door. I'm really not going to sit around and wait for someone to discover me miraculously, so if someone gives me a tip about an interesting movie, I'll go after it myself. I always want more and everything I set my mind to, seems to be working. An international series, ‘wtFOCK’, Cannes with my first film role and now this latest project is also within reach. Can you blame me for believing? In my head, I'm already in Hollywood. First become a Shooting Star at the Berlinale.” Just in between everything? Dari: “You can dream, right? Acknowledgement is not for me - I don't even know who decide such things - but rather, it’s a means to an end. If you end up in the same list of acting prodigies (those Shooting Stars) as Marwan Kenzari, Matteo Simoni and Matthias Schoenaerts, every director knows who you are.” You can also quietly build an acting career in Belgium. Or is that really not an option? Dari: “Why should I linger on a few square meters? My world was so small in Winterslag and now that it’s gradually getting bigger, I really don't know why I should stop at Flanders. Even if ambition is a very dirty word where I come from.”

How? Dari: “Winterslag is a neighborhood where many young people are going into the wrong direction. Big dreams are taboo, apparently. I was bullied, mainly because I wanted to start something with my life. Even if I said that I would one day want to go to New York, I would be laughed at: “Just sit down, Nora! Who do you think you are?”

Keep your head down, keep your nose clean and make sure that you can start working at the age of eighteen: something like that? Dari: *nods* “Graduating and going to work at the age of eighteen seems like quite an achievement in Winterslag. If you hadn't gotten into the wrong shit by then, you would’ve done well. At my school, we had two pupils without an immigration background and otherwise exclusively Turks, Moroccans and Italians from families who were really poor. Our parents worked very hard, you spend a lot of time on the street and bad things sometimes happened. *thinks* There’s a reason why I almost exclusively watch gangstershit movies. I come from a neighborhood where a lot of gangstershit happens. I’ve seen and experienced so many bad things, but at the same time Winterslag is such a big part of who I am and I get very angry when someone else talks about it like I do now. *small laugh* 

I’ll buy a house there one day. It’s still my home, all the beautiful things and all the rotten things in one pile. To be clear: I don't want to romanticize my childhood. Winterslag is hard, but nothing to be sad about. There are so many people who have gone through the same thing. Only, it sucks to be called a whore, because you want to do something that is apparently 'not normal'.”

It dawns on me why you once said that Algerian-Canadian Zaho's song Kif'n'dir summed you up quite nicely. Especially the text 'Je fais la morte pour ne pas mourir'. Dari: “That's what I've been doing for a long time. Keeping myself deathly still and don’t stand out too much. In the long run, you also start to believe what others are telling you, that acting is not for you.”

When did you finally stopping ‘being death’? Dari: “When I was fifteen, when I heard that Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah were looking for extras for ‘Patser’. That didn't mean much more than just bumping into Matteo Simoni, but I was sold immediately. In between shots, I approached Adil: “Mr. El Arbi, thank you for opening my eyes. From now on, I’ll go all out for this.” *laughs* We clicked and in the meantime we’ve become friends. I hope he thinks of me when they start recording ‘Patsers’, so that I can show how much I've grown in those two years.”

Not much later, through their casting agency Hakuna, you ended up as a suicide bomber in the Finnish-Belgian Crime series ‘Bullets’. What have I missed? How did you go from a sixteen-year-old extra to such an intense role in a few months? Dari: “I think - if I may say that - they were shocked after my casting. I’ve never thrown myself into a project as hard in my life. Whining. Shouting. Tantrums. All fucking emotions, one after the other. You’ve been looking so long for a Moroccan girl who wants to act and then you get me. *laughs* I've never loved anything as much as acting, so I’m giving everything during a casting. I know that I’m not the best and still have to learn, but I suspect my energy is making up for it. That, and I consider myself a very pleasant colleague. *laughs* I greet everyone in a Genk dialect, always walk around smiling and even bring cookies.

I've always had the feeling that I have to work harder than the rest, because people expect less of me. That's what my father taught my brothers and me. At the Liège boarding school where he studied, he was the only Moroccan in Latin studies: his classmates thought he was weird, because of his origins and the other Moroccans looked at him weirdly, because he aimed higher. "Ah, Mr. pope is back there." In the end it became so unbearable that he enrolled in the TSO (technical school), which was socially accepted.”

How does a 16-year-old feel like a suicide bomber? Dari: “They gave me a background, but I added a few things myself to make it easier. And music helps me really hard too: ‘Qui suis-je’ from Scylla on repeat and then a little method acting in that character. My mother was there on set and apparently got terrified. *laughs* I asked them not to accompany me anymore. When I see them, I come back to myself, while I try very hard to forget myself in front of the camera. I need to be able to get into a role on set. Although it remains very strange to hype yourself up for hours with the mantra 'I'm dying and I'm taking all these people with me'. Fortunately, I can also easily let go. I had to, I had exams the next day. *laughs* Suicide bomber by day, studying economy by night.”

In May you hopped around on the Croisette for the world premiere of ‘Ghost Tropic’. You play the daughter of Khadija, a woman who walks home through Brussels after falling asleep on the metro. Devos makes quiet, poetic arthouse films: it’s a huge leap from teenage series and thrillers. Dari: “It was an adjustment, yes. Before I played in ‘Bullets’, I had never even seen a Flemish film. Not a single one. Or wait: one at school. What was it called? I have to give a speech soon, with its protagonist.”

‘Daens’? With Jan Decleir? Dari: “That one! Everything I had already learned about acting was from Hollywood movies. That enlarged playing style also worked in ‘Bullets’, but when I tried that in ‘Ghost Tropic’, Bas blocked it very quickly. *laughs* "The less you do the better, Nora!" I thought about it all too hard. "Nora, just go." “Yes, but Bas, who am I? What have I been through up to this point?” I have a hard time playing without a backstory in my head.”

Did you learn something from Devos? Dari: “Bas and Maaike Neuville told me in Cannes that I shouldn’t forget to live. I was only busy with what should be my next big step, but I also have to learn to enjoy. Surrendering is nothing dirty, but if I put everything aside for this job, I’ll never be able to put content in my characters. Then they’ll give me a heavy role and I’ll get stuck.”

Sensible advice. Alarm bells already went off when I read in ‘Het Belang van Limburg’ that you certainly wanted to remain celibate until you were 27 and wouldn’t continue your studies, just focussing on your career. Dari: “In the end, I’ll study cross-media management and I’ve come back to that other one as well. *laughs* What?! I’m seventeen, I change my mind completely every month. When I am 40, I don't just want to have a nice IMDb profile to look back on.”

'9000 followers? That is more people than have seen my last film', Devos thought humbly in your Instagram Stories. Dari: “I hope ‘Ghost Tropic’ gets more visitors than I have followers, but I'm not going to bitch if only fifty people come to watch the film in the end. I just like to act and have hardly seen anything from ‘Bullets’ or ‘wtFOCK’ myself. When I'm not on set, I just feel bad. As if I'm not getting the most out of my life. 

At the very least, ‘Ghost Tropic’ gave me another experience and I was able to take my father with me, when we went to the Dominican Republic. My grandfather had passed away just before the shoot and we kind of processed that together there, while we were watching the sunrise at five in the morning. A very tender moment. Very cinematic, too. *thinks* I’m a very passionate person. Everything I experience is immediately very big. It’s all hard, good or bad. So hard that I can't always process all the feelings. *dryly* I hope I don't go crazy. I really wouldn't be surprised if that happens.”

You seem to be especially prone to obsessions. Whether it’s making music, painting or acting: if you decide to do something, everything has to make way for it. Dari: “When I got a keyboard, I was immediately very invested in my music. Making beats to accompany my slam poetry, tinkering at night, searching and keeping my parents awake until they went crazy. And then I suddenly got tired of it and started painting. Swimming. Dancing. I also played soccer for a while, mainly to get my dad's attention. During the 'consultation hour' around the tajine I could never have a chat with my brothers and father, because it was only about football and anime.”

Anime? Dari: “The men in my family are all next-level anime fans. They even speak Japanese to each other. *thinks* And I also plunged into my religion for a while, in between football and slam poetry.”

How? Dari: “When the community center closed its doors around the age of 13 and I saw a whole circle of friends go away in one go, I started clinging to something else. So, faith. At that time I also wore a hijab, because I was convinced that you could only be such a good Muslim. I was really pretty strict and took everything way too literally. Today I understand that you mainly have to look for your own interpretation.”

In the meantime, the average 15-year-old is also going through a storm for the second season of wtFOCK, which can be followed daily on Instagram and wtfock.be, good for about 400,000 visitors a week and more than 8 million watched - or at least started - episodes. Significantly more than the first season, although that also had good numbers. Especially for a series that was deliberately launched in silence. “You’re already bombarded with advertising on Instagram, subtle and less subtle,” says Dari, while she tries so intensely to make eye contact with a waiter that he almost bumps into a glass door. “I don't have any big theories about the future of television, but ‘wtFOCK’ really was a relief. It’s on the internet and you mainly do what you want with it. "Ah, I don't have to look?" That unforced approach works. The worst thing that could have happened to us, was that the press started writing about it en masse: it had to remain a bit mysterious and above all belong to the young people themselves. Normally we don't give interviews either: ‘wtFOCK’ is one big bubble that you shouldn't talk too much about.”

Without any illusions about the appeal of Knack Focus to fifteen-year-olds: is this conversation a good idea? Dari: “Sounds okay to me. I’m more now than just Yasmina? And I think fifteen-year-olds do know Knack.” 

For real? Dari: “That's the book we get in History as source material in class. *laughs* I think I'll stop giving interviews again after this. A little mystery can't hurt.”

SKAM, the Norwegian series of which ‘wtFOCK’ is a remake, became a hit in its own country. That’s not always the case with foreign remakes, except for the Flemish one. It continues to gain popularity. Do you have an explanation for that? Dari: “No idea why things were less successful in other countries, but ‘wtFOCK’ is so good because it is real. We don't disguise anything, don't pour Hollywood sauce on it and talk like I talk to my friends. Apparently, a lot of teachers also follow the series to get a better understanding of their students. Smart, because we tackle all issues a teenager has in a very realistic way.”

The makers of SKAM were prepared with a tour through its country and a survey of Norwegian teenagers. Their biggest conclusion was: no generation suffers as much from performance pressure and comparison anxiety as yours. Dari: “Social media. Instagram is a very beautiful, but at the same time very scary place. A lot of girls now ask me, for example, how they can also enter this profession. But if you ask them why, it turns out that there’s no passion, they just see it as a fast road to fame. Then join ‘Temptation Island’? They see  people like Millie Bobby Brown (from Stranger Things), who is barely fifteen and has a crazy career and they let themselves be hyped about it. I should actually say 'we'. I said it already: I ​​hope I don't go crazy.” *giggles hysterically* 

About 1200 teenagers showed up for the casting of wtFOCK, but the makers did not find their Yasmina there. Dari: *nods* “In the end they also had to call Adil, who gave me the tip.”

Why do you think that is? Dari: “I get angry when someone says they want more diversity, but can't find anyone. *throws arms up dramatically* "They aren't there!" They are there. In my neighborhood alone, so much talent is packed together. You may have to do your best to find them, because if you come from a neighborhood where ambition is laughed at, you’ll not find your way to a casting. Because the TV and film world seem so closed off from the outside - and it is. I also didn't know how to do that, I was just lucky that Adil, Nora Gharib and Ikram Aoulad wanted to help me. They helped me avoid a lot of rookie mistakes. And that I won't sign myself up for Temptation Island or something tomorrow.” *laughs*

Gharib also predicted that as a Moroccan woman she would have problems with ‘Patser’. From the moment you do not portray a classic religious Muslim woman, it seems to already lead to commentary. Dari: “I've had my part too. Women who send to me that I brought shame on the entire Moroccan community, for example, because Yasmina doesn't always wear her hijab. Usually these are women who’ve seen two minutes of the series and then get angry without seeing the context. *blows* You know, I don’t care. If my parents and I are okay with it, then no one has anything to say to me. Criticism slips away from me. It really takes more than an angry DM to get me off my path, I come from Winterslag breeding.”

*** Bas Devos, director ‘Ghost Tropic’:

“I had never seen Nora at work, but her audition video immediately made me curious. At the final casting, where she had to improvise a bit, it was already clear to me after a few minutes. She did a beautiful job. Nora is not trained as an actress, but I often work with a combination of non-professional and professional actors. That really doesn't matter to me. It's all about how naturally someone relates to the camera and how relaxed you are while being filmed. Then very beautiful things can happen. And I think she also liked not having to make her character bigger in an understated film like ‘Ghost Tropic’, as that’s sometimes the case for TV. To hear that you are still playing without doing anything. 

It's cool how she dares to go for something so outspokenly at such a young age, but I did point out to her that working alone isn’t the perfect solution. She’s very fond of that international career, but it is also easy to walk into a wall there. Seventeen-year-olds have to live, right? Well, she's sensible enough, I'm not worried. She'll eventually find the right balance. At the end of the shooting period, she said she hoped we could work together again. I told her that I hope she still likes it by then. *laughs*  Who knows which films will she be in then.”

[butgilinsky]

angels & demons // rc

warning; angst, language, drugs, alcohol, alludes to violence but not graphic, basically everything that comes with rafe cameron, a toxic relationship

summary; y/n knows that rafe has demons, but for some reason she can’t pull herself away from him

word count; 1.8k+

i’m in no way trying to romanticize things that rafe does in the show, and i sure as hell don’t condone any of it. i’m not trying to romanticize toxic relationships or anything that comes w them, i just LOVE this song and it gives me rafe vibes soo.. idk i recommend listening to this song, it’s v good and this fic kind of reminds me of my dark writing style. if you’ve read my unfinished series rivals, it gives me those vibes a little.

based on angels & demons by jxdn

Two face, two face, yeah Black white, left right, yeah Up down, all night, yeah

the second they entered the house, rafe was ripped away from y/n. she rolled her eyes at the empty feeling in her hand, knowing that it would’ve happened sooner or later, despite the string of promises she received on the way to the house. 

“baby, i’ll be by your side, i promise.” 

the promise was empty, but most of the promises that rafe offered were. she’d fallen accustomed to the lies and the broken promises, barely batting an eye anymore. 

so she linked her arm around her friend’s neck and smiled at the happy expression she received. the girl locked her arms around y/n and swayed from side to side, rambling about how she didn’t think she’d see y/n at all tonight. 

the next time she saw rafe he was high, though that didn’t surprise her either. his arm wrapped around her abdomen, a soft kiss pressed to the back of her head before she leaned back and offered her lips to him. 

“you smell like beer.” she commented softly, hearing him hum before disregarding the statement all together. 

“i’ve had a lot.” he shrugged softly, the alcohol barely a factor in his behavior due to his tolerance. with the help of his height and his build, rafe had built a tolerance over the years. excessive drinking in high school had helped with that. 

she turned back to her conversation, smiling drunkenly at the girl that had been talking to her for the past half hour before rafe tugged on her waist subtly. the girl that was talking wasn’t picking up on rafe’s sudden urge to leave, but y/n was painfully aware of it all. 

“let’s go.” his lips pressed to the back of her ear, gripping her hip tighter when she didn’t respond right away. 

she smiled at the girl again and told her she had to go since it was getting late, before turning and looking up at rafe who wore a dazed smile. she nudged him softly, hand falling in his before he pulled her through the crowd and out of the house. 

Can't escape it ever Don't forget my name I don't feel the same On a trip, no train

rafe’s head fell backwards, his eyes screwed shut as he sighed out into the air above him. the breeze was cold against his searing skin, and his nose began to itch. it had only been a few lines, but it was enough to drown out the voice in his head, numbing the thoughts but not the ache in his chest. 

his eyes locked on his girlfriend, just a few yards away from him talking to a boy he’d forgotten the name of due to the lack of interest in it. her eyes found rafe’s quickly, and it only took a clenched jaw from rafe to dismiss herself from the conversation. 

she sent the boy a polite smile before stalking over to rafe, his hand reaching out for her when she was close enough. he pulled her into his lap easily, ignoring the fact that she definitely did not want to sit at the coke covered table. 

her head fell on top of his, her cheek smushing to the side slightly while she let her mind drift off elsewhere. rafe was talking to somebody across the table but she wasn’t paying attention, absentmindedly bringing her cup to her lips to drown out the sounds. 

“you alright?” she asked rafe after he’d gone quiet after a while, and he nodded shortly. “you look kind of out of it.” 

“need another line.” he said simply, tapping the side of her thigh quickly. 

she sighed but shuffled out of rafe’s lap at the silent command. she stayed close by, knowing she’d be sought out for if she wandered off, and it would ultimately cause more problems than not. 

And all these angels and demons Keep shouting and screaming I'm falling from Eden

she knocked on the door quickly, bouncing on her feet impatiently while waiting for the door to swing open. when it finally did, topper threw his thumb over his shoulder and she slid through the doorway. 

she jogged upstairs and around every corner, hearing the shouting all the way from the front door. the sight of her boyfriend pacing around the room filled her vision. he was tugging at his hair and mumbling incoherent thoughts while kelce stared at him in defeat. 

“rafe.” both pair of eyes snapped up to meet hers, finally allowing her to see the tears running down rafe’s cheeks as he crashed. 

he sighed softly, sending her an exhausted look before she walked over to him. she wrapped her arms around the boy, smiling at kelce when he excused himself out of the room to give the couple space. 

y/n pulled rafe to sit on the bed, letting him lean into her fully and cry into her chest. she knew how it was when he came down from a high, especially when his high was meant to cover up a shitty day. 

“i can’t stop thinking.” she sighed, trying to calm the boy, despite the constant ringing in his ears. 

“i’m right here, baby. you’re okay.”

So fuck me like a rockstar Dancing on a cop car Nothing in the world can stop me now

“rafe, get down, right now!” rafe scoffed loudly at his girlfriend five feet below him, waving her off when topper reached up to hand him a freshly filled cup. 

“dance with me, baby.” he bent his knees, nearing her height but still hovering over her. he held out his hand but she pushed it away quickly, glaring at him in the process. 

“rafe you’re going to get arrested. you can’t sit in a jail cell while you’re high, baby, get down.” he rolled his eyes and stood back up, wearing a drunken smirk while he ignored his girlfriend’s pleas. 

she watched for a moment longer before turning on her heels and storming off. she wasn’t going to sit around and watch rafe dig a hole from himself, though she seemed to be doing that for years at this point. 

Fucked up like a rockstar Ridin' in a cop car No one in the world can help me now

she grabbed her card back from the woman across the desk, not even bothering to smile while she signed multiple papers. her head snapped at the sound of a husky voice she’d recognize anywhere, though this time it made her growl in anger. 

“baby, i’m so sorry. thank you for coming-” 

“i don’t want to hear it, rafe.” she handed the papers back to the woman and waited for the man to unlock rafe’s cuffs before she walked out of the station, rafe hot on her heels. 

“y/n, please, i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to fuck up again baby, i swear.” she stopped on the sidewalk, turning to face the boy as her anger practically seeped out of her. 

“that’s the thing, rafe. you keep fucking your life up no matter how much i try to stop you. i can’t help you if you don’t want to be helped, rafe.” he looked down at his feet, the words he’d heard her say multiple times ringing between both of his ears. “just get in the car. you’re lucky they didn’t call your dad, rafe.” 

Everybody said that I'm falling Took another line I'm calling I'm so sick of the nonsense I'mma dive into the mosh pit

“can you stop lecturing me for one fucking second?” his voice was loud and harsh, and would’ve knocked anyone else down a notch. fortunately for the girl in front of him, she’d grown to figure out how to stand her ground for the time being. 

“i’m not lecturing you. i’m trying to help you, rafe-”

“well you’re not fucking helping! i’m sick of the bullshit, y/n. i’m sick of trying to make everyone happy, so just let me deal with my own shit.” she stood firm in her place on the sand, watching rafe stomp off. 

she ignored the burning gazes on her, turning around and walking off of the beach. if rafe didn’t want her to bother him, then she would stop bothering him. so she left the boneyard, slipped into her car and drove away. 

I don't really think I'm the problem I don't really think it's a problem Me plus me is a problem One gun shot could solve 'em

her back leaned against the door, her eyes trained on the carpet below her though she was painfully aware of the sobs that filled the room. she hadn’t spoken in almost an hour, listening to his string of apologies and excuses. one minute he didn’t think anything was wrong with him, and the next he claimed his world was crashing around him. 

he fell to his knees in front of her, digging his face into her stomach and gripping her hips. she sighed softly, ignoring the single tear rolling down her cheek and dropped her hand on top of his head. she scratched at his scalp gently, hearing his sobs turn to sniffles. 

“i’m so sorry.” he spoke softly, almost too soft for her to hear. 

“i’ve hear that too many times, rafe.” he shook his head quickly, looking up at y/n with wide eyes that glistened from the sheen of tears that covered them. the moon that seeped through his window casted a beautiful light across his face, one that reminded her how she’d ended up in this messy love story. 

“i mean it, y/n. i know i went too far this time and i’m sorry.” 

she wanted to laugh. too far was an understatement. he’d committed, arguably, the worst crime known to man, and he called it ‘too far’. every day of her life before this one, she would’ve sworn that anything like that would’ve driven her away from a person, no matter her ties to them. 

but somehow, the boy on his knees in front of her looked up at her with a look in his eyes that she couldn’t imagine never seeing again. she couldn’t imagine never waking up next to him, or never feeling his lips pressed against hers. she couldn’t imagine a life without rafe cameron, and part of her hated that. 

unfortunately, she saw how rafe tried to rationalize his actions. she saw how deeply rooted his demons were, and she saw how his mind ticked in such a way that she’d never seen a person tick before. she knew his intentions were less than pure, but they were far from malicious. 

“run away with me.” he looked up at her with such desperation, the thought of a life where the two of them could forget about everything around them bringing him a joy he hadn’t felt in years. “baby, let’s run away.” 

she hated that that sounded like heaven to her. 

[abloomntime]

A Bloom In Time Ch19 Paintings By Ghosts

(It took me A LONG time to research and find out what all the paintings in Hat Kid's gallory looked like. If I missed any or got any wrong please let me know. All mentioned paintings can me seen in the painting room through the green door in the machine room of the ship.)

Lunch breaks were nice.

She was starving so before anything else she wanted to get somethin' in her stomach. Looking in the lil gal's fridge, there really wasn't too much of anything. It was all pretty empty except for a basket of apples, half a cheese wheel, and what looked like a carton of eggs. Well, she wasn't about to not get something to eat, and down at least three of those apples she had. They weren't as sweet tasting as she remembered the ones her father grew on their farm were, but as if this person was going to start complaining about food at this point of her life. Sure her life was REALLY crazy up to this calm point, all of it sounded like a really bad story, she was going to have to learn a whole knew pecking world different from her old one, and she was going to have to deal with her past. But if there was one thing she needed to do now was take that darn ghost's advice.

"The important thing is that I can't change or fix anything that's already happened alright? I can't send you back. I can't give you anything from your old life......And I can't change what happened to you. But, I can help make the future easier and help you with whatever you need to settle down with alright? But you got to understand that it's NOT just going to be with a snap of my fingers."

He was right. What had happened happened and there's no way she was going back there anyways, so it looks like she'd just have to start where she left off way back when. Hard work. Save up enough pons. And get that flower stand! May not seem like a giant grand idea like some would expect, but that's what she always wanted. A life where she could surround herself by precious beautiful flowers admiring their beauty and scent and give them all to people who enjoyed them as much as she does. Her blue eyes reflected in the gold coloring of the bracelet that was still tight around her wrist, bringing her other hand up to clamp around it to herself. Her business may have never taken off if that one fateful encounter with the handsome and kind prince from the neighboring kingdom hadn't taken such interest in the way she grew her little babies. He never said one bad thing about them. Complimenting on how deep a red her roses are and surprising him when she said they didn't just come in red...She chuckled remembering that silly surprised face of his.

The prince stared at her shocked, brown eyes blinking as she held out the white and red rose bouquet to him. "Wow. You're telling me they really come in more than three colors?"

She nodded  back at him. "Yep! How many colors did you think they came in?"

He figeted fiddling with the soft petals of one white rose nervously. "W-Well. I knew there was a whole bunch of red ones, and I knew there was white ones because my mother always uses then for balls. A-And I saw black roses at my grandmother's burial. May she rest in peace.....Wait." His brown eyes widened as he stared at her. Poppy blinked when he suddenly put his hands on her stand leaning forward a little. "H-HOW MANY COLORS OF ROSES ARE THERE?! I DESPERATELY NEED TO KNOW!!"

After a moment, the red head smiled and gestured to a whole slew of potted roses behind her he didn't seem to notice and his jaw dropped at the sight of them all. "Well, you sure like to learn things, so let me tell ya a thing or two about roses. There's all different breeds of roses, but all of them fall under one of the eleven color catagories ya hear? There's red, white, n black like you're used to seein'. But then there's yellow, blue, pink, purple, orange, and even green!"

His eyes landed to a beautiful batch of emerald green roses Poppy pointed out and his eyes widened more. "Those would be perfect for Vanessa! They match her emerald eyes so perfectly." He smiled and turned to Poppy. "I'd love to have some....But wait." He counted on his fingers. "Red, white, black, yellow, blue, pink, purple, green, orange-....That's only nine. I thought you said there was eleven."

She giggled. "You caught me! You see. Some are different shades of blue or pinks, but they'd still be classified under those colors, but some roses have two colors on them."

"You're KIDDING!"

"Nope!" Turning around. She spotted one of her hanging planters and reached up to pluck one of the ones near the top, carefully minding the thorns and brought it down to him. He stared at it in amazement. IT REALLY DID HAVE TWO COLORS!! It was a yellow rose but the tips of the petals were a dark pink, almost red as Poppy smiled at it. "This is what you call a Bi-Color pattern. Some breeds of roses have two colors like this. They're really popular at birthdays. But...If you want something real purty like." She set the single rose down and looked at him. "I got one more surprise for the history books."

"And what would that be?"

"Rainbow roses." He blinked confused so she held up a hand and bent down to rummage around under her stand. "I wanted to keep these hidden for the time being because I wanted to sell my over stock of other roses first since an unexpected amount bloomed this year. And you know how everyone's gonna be itchin' to buy their loved ones flowers on Cupid's Day. I wanted to sorta save these for special customers." She grabbed a small pot of something and stood up. Holding the pot just enough to be seen by him leaning over the stand and no one else passing by. His. Jaw. DROPPED. THEY WERE RAINBOW!!! Every color save for black and white was on there. All in different places on the petals and some petals being full different colors along with blended petals with two different colors mixed on them. They almost didn't look real. As if someone painted on them blindly with multiple paints. Poppy gazed at them lovingly. "My Great Great Granddaddy Willow 'Tree' Bloomington was able to cross breed all kinds of roses together until he made them. "

"I heard of him before. He used to be the Royal Gardener for the Old Owl King didn't he? They say the gardens were never more beautiful than when he was in charge."

She nodded but frowned. "That's right. That ol' birdbrain wanted my great great granddaddy to never share his masterpiece with anyone else. Wanted them all to himself, but that's like askin' an artist to not show off his art. So when he retired, he stole a few clippings and fled the country. Since then these beautiful little guys have been my family's birthright. We're extremely picky about who gets them...Or at least I am. Papa thinks I should've just stayed on the farm and become a milk maid like Mama." The prince's eyes softened at the small frown on her face but she was quick to smile again for an important customer. "So! Will it just be the one bouquet for ya, Princey? Or were ya'll still interested in those pretty green ones?" She asked as she tucked away the beautiful colorful ones again.

"I..." he glanced over to the emerald green ones then to the giant one he was already holding....And smiled again. "You know I think I will take another lovely arrangement of those too. Equal size."

Poppy smiled. "Coming right up, Your Highness!" In a few moments, she held out a pretty arrangement of green roses the shade of Vanessa's eyes all wrapped up in pretty white paper. "Two extra large bouquets will be eight pons please-" She paused and blinked when the white and red rose bouquet was held out to her and eight tiny green diamonds were dropped to the stand. "Oh. Do you need me to hold that?"

"N-No. T-they're for you."

"Me? Why? I thought you wanted to give Princess Vanessa double flowers."

"Uh.." He quickly gave a nervous smile. "W-W-Well, on Cupid's Day people give their friends and f-family too. It's all about spreading love to those you care about. It doesn't have to mean romanticism at all! Especially because I consider you a close friend!" He grinned wider nervously and wished he could push himself for how weird he must've looked. But Poppy just smiled.

"Well aren't you sweet?" She happily took the roses from him. "Now I can see why so many people like ya! And why Princess Vanessa took a likin' to ya! Such a gentleman to everyone! But are you sure you're not givin' me my own flowers?"

"Hey. I paid for them, so technically they were my flowers to do as I pleased with, and I w-wanted to show my appreciation to my.....f-friend."

"Aw. Ya'll just too kind. If that's the case, then you don't need to pay for mine."

He held up his hand and grabbed the green rose bouquet. "No, no. You did the hard work growing them. I ordered them in the first place. And they're already cut. The least I could do was pay the four pons for them. B-Besides. I don't believe in special treatment."

"Well alright. If ya insist. But here." She looked back down to the yellow n pink rose she had picked to show him and picked it up again, minding the thorns and holding it out to him. "Here! A small token from one friend to another too! On the house!"

He smiled and slowly took it from her. "Well then...Thank you, friend....I-I..Should probably be getting these to Vanessa."

"That's a fair point. Wouldn't want to keep her waiting on Cupid's Day. It's the most romantic day of the year!"

"Heh. Yeah....L-Love."

Sells really did increase after word of the prince buying her flowers went around. That day alone must've been her best Cupid's Day ever cuz right after he left with those green roses a woman came up to her and asked for five purple roses for her parents and sisters followed by others. She sold her normal quote for flowers that day plus lots of extras! She was able to get lots of work providing for small weddings in the town square, parties, and other festive times. All because of one friend's kindness. She felt guilty now that she only got so much business from his reputation but this time she'd have to really work for her dream! And she was totally going to be the best florist anyone's every had in a thousand years! For now she'd just rest a little while and help out with whatever that purple onion jack o lanturn had in mind, and wait to see what he was planning. She wasn't sure what to expect from a giant ghost but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't curious. Poppy made her way back out the kitchen's double doors after dipositing her third apple core into the trashcan in the corner, and the scene in the control room made her smile. The two girls were sitting on pillows a little ways from the television playing with the gold castle, it looked like a game of princess since Bow was making a princess doll scream help from the tower and Hattie was acting out the villain with that golden mafia man. The other old things like the gold pencil and cookie was all in a small random pile a few feet from them both.

"You will never have the princess! She'll be locked away forever and the kingdom of gold will be mine! Muahahaha!!," Hattie said in a fake deep man's voice.

"Oh yeah! Well I, Sir Cat-o-lot, will save her!," Bow threatened back holding out a small black cat plush. They must've heard her giggling when she came down cuz they both looked up at her as she came in and Bow waved at her. "Hi, Poppy! Wanna play?"

"Yeah! You can be the giant who comes and steals the gold up the apple tree in the sky!...Or was it a bush in the sky?"

"I'd love to, Pumpkins. But I still gotta job to do, don't you remember? I'd rather finish it and then relax a lil bit. There anywhere we missed?"

Hattie shook her head. "No. Rumbi already swept everywhere, the painting room was so small and easy. He's still sweeping the engine room."

"What about the mail room?,'' Bow asked pointing to the yellow tunnel entrance poking out from the wall near the engine room door. "It has junk mail all over the place after Mayor Mafia Glasses read through them all."

Mail room huh? Well she didn't know who this Mayor mafia ..glasses?? was, but if it was the last room she needed to clean then she might as well get it all done. Then she could finally relax for the day. Walking over the yellow entrance, the children went back to their little game giggling. Great. This entrance looked small too, she'd probably have to crawl through there as well and drag the broom behind her like last time. Leaning down, she peeked inside....And fell backwards with a yell. Both girls flinched and looked up at her loud yell as Poppy stumbled before landing on her behind at the sight of two yellow glowing eyes and mouth smiling at her from the darkness. A high pitched raspy laugh rang out and two clawed hands reached out to grab the outside of the yellow tunnel, before the darkness pulled himself out smiling and revealing himself to be non other than the famous snatching ghost himself. Poppy's scared and confused face quickly turned to one of anger as she scowled.

"I should have known!"

"AHAHAHAHA!! You should've seen how utterly scared you looked! That's a feeling I never get tired of seeing any day," he rasped out and looked down smiling at her as Poppy stood up and dusted herself off. Giving him a scowl.

"So is THIS one of the pranks I heard about? Y'know for 'the most powerful ghost on this measly planet' that sure wasn't very impressive."

"HEY!" He scowled back and crossed his arms. "There's NOTHING wrong with a classic hide and go boo routine! Works almost a hundred percent of the time! And you're one to talk about not impressive work." He jabbed a claw over at the watching girls. "Playing and walking around when there's work to be done? That's not productive at all."

"We're already finished."

".........WHAT?!" It took him a few moments to register what she said but when he did his head snapped to her so fast she was afraid it was going to float off and faze through the wall. "You couldn't have cleaned an entire ship in one day?!"

"Well, to be fair we aren't all the way done." She pointed behind him with a deadpanned look. " We're waiting for Rumbi. An' I still need to go fix up whatever's up there and I need to hammer a plank of wood back in place upstairs since we found gold buried under it. Now excuse me." Snatcher gave off a confused noise when Poppy just pushed his tail aside and went back to peer back up into the yellow tunnel. She could see a light and some kind of papers floating around everywhere. "Hey! One of yall get me the broom and somethin' to catch a bunch of flying paper." Bow nodded dropping her toys in favor of running off to the kitchen as Poppy turned back to the tunnel and started crawling her way up it towards the light.

"You found what under what?!" Snatcher turned back as Poppy disappeared into the yellow tunnel. "H-HEY! Don't you know it's rude to walk away from your boss when he's talking to you about your contractual obligations!?" When he didn't get an answer he stuck his head in the tunnel entrance. "Yes? No? HELLO!! Why aren't you saying anything?!"

"Y'know, for a dead guy you sure have a loud mouth!," she called back smiling when she heard him sputter.

"WHAT?! The peck I'm not! You're the one ignoring me!" He floated through the walls after her snorting form.

"Maybe so but I think your bark is worse than your bite, Purple Onion! What are you doing here anyways? I thought ya were busy." Her face popped up out of the entrance just in time for it to get smacked by a very old envelope, to which she shook her head and got it off to gawk around. Papers were flying around alright, they were laying all over the place if they were flying about or in a big pile on the other side of the room. In the middle of the room was a desk with two pans on it. One was green and said IN and the other was red and said OUT. There was also a few pole blocker things in front of the desk like the ones around those metal table things she'd been seeing around. A small coffee table stood off to one side of the room with two blue seated cushioned seats, near the entrance was two metal deviders and a giant wooden dresser, and to her far left was a giant basket filled with more old letters, a fan, and a pale carpet stood under the desk. She gazed up hearing a snicker and Snatcher was there probably because of the letter smacking her face. Before giving a grunt when a piece of paper smacked him in the pace making her snort again. "Not so funny yourself Mr. Meany."

He swiped the letter off his face scowling and staring at her. "HEY! I'm not completely heartless you know. Every so often I steal letters from others and deliver them to my minions as if they were getting something. It helps lift their spirits so to speak. And to answer your question." He threw the paper away which fluttered to the ground. "I often come back and check on new employee's progress every few hours or so, this is no different. But I have to say I'm suprised with how reliant you were for this tack."

"Well I did have the two best helpers in the world." She smiled and finally got to stand up in the room looking around with a hum. "This one might be a little tricky, but can't be worse than a room of snow. And I still have to hammer that bourd back. Bow tugged it loose after that gold."

"Where the peck did you all get the gold? Im pretty sure I don't pay you until after the job is done, as I'm not legally obligated to pay for unfinished work."

"From the Roach King."

"The Roach what?!"

"Ask them if ya'll want some answers." She turned hearing some footsteps behind her and smiled seeing Bow in the entrance to the yellow hallway. A broom and dustpan in one hand and a trashbag in the other. "Well, why thank you honeybunch!" She reached over hand out for them and Bow handed them over.

"I couldn't find any nets, so I thought you could use the bag to catch them?"

Poppy smiled standing back up and looking over to the mail floating around and sighed. "Actually I think we'll be needing a lot more bags if we want to clear all this mess out." She pointed towards the giant pile of letters along the wall. "That spinny thing there is propellin' these here letters up and then they're blown all 'round the room makin' a mess. We'll have to just get rid of all this junk."

Bow scratched her head. "How? I don't think they'll all fit in the trashcan."

Poppy smiled and looked up towards Snatcher who after staring a couple seconds back to her finally got a sense of what she was thinking. "HEY! Just a pecking second here! You're not pawning them off on me!"

"I'm not. You can just take 'em and give them all to those precious lil helpers of yours can't ya?"

"Well...Yes. But who are you to decide what I DO with my time?"

"Oh c'mon. it'll be so sweet of ya." Her big blue eyes shined at him as she smiled up towards him. "Won't ya just help a gal out with this just once? You're other uh...'employees' would really get a hoot from it too-"

"OH ALRIGHT!!" He turned his head away. Anymore staring at her smile and he'd start feeling mushy which he hated. "But I expect YOU to get them all ready to go for me! Since Im not legally obligated to help with cleaning."

Poppy eagerly agreed and sent Bow back to grab more bags from her as she got to work picking up a few of the letters scattered about on the floor at her feet. Snatcher having nothing else to do at the moment decided to leave the mail room and fazed through the wall back into the control room in time to see Bow slam open the kitchen doors and run in. At the sight of her ghostly BFF, Hattie sprung up and bounded up to him. Chattering about how much of a good helper she had been and how she was STILL a better helper cu technically she was still cleaning....Well really Rumbi was the one sweeping away at the engine room but she put him there in the first place. And then when his yellow eyes looked over at all the random gold objects laying in a pile, he pointed a claw and asked about it. Her face lit up even more and she went on a long spree about how she found these mysterious notes in her room and then Poppy found a whole bunch more while cleaning and then they followed them up all the way to the attic. And then Hattie went on to tell him about how Bow busted open a plank of wood from the side of the staircase in the attic and it turns out there was gold in it! Speaking of Bow, she had burst back out of the kitchen sometime during her ramble and dragged a good number of black trash bags behind her disappearing into the yellow entrance most likely going to delivery them to Poppy. In the mean time Hattie told him all about how this roach stole her gold potion and turned all this stuff and the gold potion itself into gold. Holding up the objects one by one up to him. The cookie, the gear, the potion, and her most proud posession the gold castle which she beamed with happiness eager to show it off to him. If he was anyone else he would've called her reaction cute, but all it got was a small half smile from the ghost before the hatted child had the brilliant idea he should come and see the notes for himself. Eh...Why the peck not right? He had literally nothing else better to do while waiting on the cleaning duo up there, and he was sure Minion Number 47 could run the place for a little while longer in his absence. She WAS head of the manor staff when she was alive so she'd have no trouble giving orders to lots of people on a tight scheduale. He saw the notes alright, and this mysterious Roach King they were all talking about. The gold roach statue sat ontop of the papers he apparently left out for them to follow and Snatcher couldn't help but read through them all not that the child seemed to mind at all. She left in the middle of him reading through them, saying something about needing to check up on Rumbi but he didn't care. He was honestly surprised at the letters addressed to the girls, having such kind words to say about them both, but they weren't wrong either. In fact they were very accurate to their positive nature, but if he could add a few things it'd be childish, sassy, and a whole bunch of other things to describe them then just having a gold heart. As they were much more than a gold heart, but hey. The guy turned himself into gold. What was he supposed to expect from him? Placing the notes and gold statue of the roach wearing a crown, he decided it was about time he headed back and see what was up. Imagine his slight surprise when he popped his head through a wall and saw what looked like a large round black ball stuck in the entrance to the slide. Which gave way a moment later and tumbled to the floor revealing itself to be a full trashbag and Hattie tumbling after it landing on her stomach with a thud. The hatted child pushed her self up pushing the comically large hat off her face and scowling at the bag. Snatcher could only watch in amuzement as she rolled it over towards four other full trashbags near the control panel.

"Sheesh, Kid. That's a lot of mail," he commented.

"There's three more bags," Hattie groaned before hanging her arms and stomping her way way towards the slide entrance as yet another bag was having a hard time exiting. Most likely by Bow shove it. "Cleaning is so BORING! Why do I gotta do it?"

"You're not the only one, Kid. And by the sound of things, you've never would've found that gold if you didn't clean up," He pointed out just as Bow popped her head out as the bag shot out.

"Yeah. But now we found it and now it's boring!," she whined back heading to the slide.

"Aren't that robot and Poppy the ones who've done most of the work?"

"WE HELPED!!"

"Then you should have no problem helping her with one last teensy tiny room." He glanced at Bow running back with a smile on her face. "By the looks of things you're practically done already."

Hattie groaned but followed Bow back up the slide towards the mail room, followed by Snatcher who fazed through the wall after them. "Anyone ever tell you, you work too hard for you're own good," he asked popping his head just above the slide exit.

Poppy chuckled wiping down the desk before looking over her shoulder at him. "Lots of times. But I aim to please, and I learnt a long time ago that hard work comes good rewards." She watched the two girls dragging the last two bags away and smiled. The mail room didn't have to be that clean to be honest. There was barely even any dirt on the ground. A quick sweep, bag the useless mail, wipe down these tables, and she even dumped those blocker rod things in the empty giant basket over there outta the way. "The place is mighty fine looking without paper smackin' your face. I didn't know aliens had a mail room...Well to be honest I didn't know they could have a painting room or anything else either."

Something about that sentence made Snatcher freeze for a moment and stare at her. " You...saw the paintings?"

"Well....No. But Hattie told me she already had the place swept so it's already taken care of ain't it?"

"Would you like to see it?," he asked a small feeling of excitement bubbling from his chest.

"I would  but I have the attic to fix don't I-" She jumped when Snatcher grabbed her arm and pulled her forward.

"That can wait! You're taking your once a day fifthteen minute break and coming with me. What's the point of living here if you don't see the entire complex?,'' he said with an almost cheery voice and looked down to the small girls pushing the last of the junk down the slide slowly. "Get good Kids! We have some real work to see!"

At one point, Hattie fed up with everything took a few steps back, before tackling the bags and Bow along with them. They all unstuck pretty quickly tumbling down into the control room with the kids landing all in one giant heap on the ground. Well ....That certainly did the trick didn't it? Snatcher seemed to be please as he tugged Poppy along and only stopped when she yanked her hand out of his grasp. He froze as she gave him a stern look for a couple seconds, before willingly going down the slide entrance herself. Oh if only he could punch himself for that. Poppy emerged a moment later in the control room and glanced up at Snatcher with narrowed eyes.

"I understand you're excited, but trying to yank me through a wall isn't an option. I would've bashed my head into that wall there!" Those yellow eyes glanced to the wall for a moment seeming to register what she was getting at. Oh. Right. Walls and humans don't really mix all too well huh? "Now don't you go doin' that again."

"Uh....Sure."

.....She gave a small smile again. "There. That wasn't too hard was it? Now whatcha going on about paintings for?"

"The painting room?" Hattie struggled out of the small pile her and Bow were in with protests from Bow but managed to squeeze out of there and up towards her dusting herself off and up to them. "I can show you! It's right by the engine room through the green do-"

"Whoa! Hey! That's MY thunder you're stealing kid!" A giant purple claw gently grabbed Hattie around the waist and pulled her back as the giant ghost leaned down to give her a look. "You have you're fun and now it's my shot. Don't be a rude little lady." Hattie gave a small pout and huff but didn't say anything else much to his delight as he put her down and patted the top of her hat before turning back to Poppy. "Well that seals that deal! Why don't we just go see those paintings?" he pointed towards the engine room door. "Trust me when I say this is the best part of the breaking experience."

"I reckon I don't have a say so to your looney persistance don't I?," she asked smiling at him but slowly followed behind none the less.

"NOPE!!"

A feeling of excitement welled up in him again as he smiled and shot through the wall faster than a bullet in one dark purple blur. Making her blink and shake her head. Well....She really ought to see the entirety of this ship then shouldn't she? One last room wasn't gonna hurt her. Leaving the girls to bicker over whatever little girls bickered over she followed right after the ghost through the tunnels. A moment later she saw himself sticking out of the walls of grinding gears above a green doorway and gestured for her to follow as he ducked back into the wall. And of course, she followed, side stepping Rumbi who was still sweeping around, wanting to see what he was so excited over. The hallway there was a little darker than the others but there was enough light for her to see that it also was littered with excellent gear designs but this time it was a very dark green. These aliens must be very rich to afford a weaver to make such excellent carpets. When the door opened on the other side oh boy she was in for another surprise.

"There you are!," Snatcher called from the ceiling below with a smile. That ghostly hair n fluff of his hanging down towards the floor as he grinned. "Took you long enough! Get in here and see what you've been missing!''

She did so and was thankful the room despite being small was big enough for her to stand in, it had red flooring and a green plain carpet running it's length. At one corner of the small room she saw yet another metal table thing with these 'relics' as Hattie had called them. This one was a UFO mobile and under it attached by strings were three cows that looked the same but were different. One wore glasses and a tin foil hat, one wore just green sunglasses, and the other one didn't wear anything and looked totally normal. But it wasn't that that caught the attention of the red head. PAINTINGS!! There were paintings of different sizes, lengths, and styles that she had never seen before. She gawked at the meer sight of them all looking at each wall slowly taking it all in. At the very back wall was the fist thing she saw when she crawled in and her eyes lazer pointed on the largest of the six paintings that were on it. Why..It was Hattie herself! She looked might sweet standing in a field holding her umbrella open, her yellow cap and hair blowing in the breeze. If she hadn't known better she thought the painting would've giggled at her funny expression. Next to that one was a city shrouded by night, the only lights coming from the windows on the tail buildings and the cresent moon painted under it. The one directly under it was a bit strange. It was the face of a gold tribal man on a grey background and he wore pure black glasses. How odd. The other three were realitively small compared to those three. One being a close up of a plant's green leaves, a baby crow leaning against a wall next to toy blocks, and a pretty forest landscape. She could see a few trees and mountains in the distance of it. Turning her head to the right, Poppy noticed the right wall had only five. The tiny rectangle one in the top corner of the right wall was a burly looking man riding on top of a ...giant slab of meat? Below that was a picture of Hattie's face. Well, four pictures of Hattie all looking alike but with different color pastels. The entire square painting was divided into four smaller squares and each one had a Hattie of a different color tone. How strange. Then there was a giant portrait of a man with a mustache and beard. He wore a red suit that looked quite expensive. And next to that was two others, one was a black background with nothing but red thorny vines painted on it, and the other was a bit more stranges. It was divided into three background colors (red, green, and yellow) and had a bubble with different items in each. One was a heart, another a giant green diamond, and what looked to be a small king's crown.

"What do you think of work?," Snatcher asked proudly crossing his arms and looking pleased with himself.

Poppy leaned to the right wall and gently laid her hand on the frame of the red suited man in wide eyed wonder....before turning to him. "YOU painted all of these?" she asked gawking at him.

His smile widened more smug if that was possible. "Yep. And those." He pointed to the left wall wear there was five giant paintings behind the space cow mobile. He then pointed behind her. "And the ones right behind you."

Poppy looked behind her and took a few steps back from the doorway she had crawled in from to look at the six painting hanging above the doorway. Two were big. One was of two burly men who looked exactly alike and they looked to be farming folk like her parents were, the other one was of the famous Snatcher himself, with some king of background she didn't recognize. Maybe a bridge? He was in the middle holding his face in what looked like a very shocked expression. The others weren't grand scale but interesting anyways. Three of them were again Hattie but one looked more like a sketch that had her with double arms and legs. How bizarre. The one of Hattie next to it was her from her shoulders up but wearing a strange mask. It was green and red with black polka dots. The one of Hattie above those two was a much more normal one. It was of Hattie sitting down with her hands in her lap and behind her was a BEAUTIFUL background of mountains, a wide lake, and forest. The last one in the corner was another strange one. It was the man in the red suit again sitting on a throne, and a whole bunch of the burly men who looked a like bowing to him as if he was a king.

"These are...A-AMAZING!!"

She looked over to the last wall which had the biggest paintings on it. The strangest one was also the biggest. What looked like some desert landscape with a single dead tree and melting hour glasses all over it. Above that was another one of you guessed it, Hattie. In outerspace wearing an astronaut suit and connected to her spaceship. She looked so cartoony and adorable! A red boat sailing alone on a stormy sea, she could almost smell the sea air. One of the smaller large ones was just a beige background and just Hattie umbrella painted on it. And the the very last one was an abstract orange portrait of some man wearing sunglasses and a flower shirt. Snatcher however was looking VERY pleased at all the praise he was getting stroking his already huge ego as the smiling red read looked back to him with a wide smile.

"I can't believe you painted all of these!"

"Well you better, Red. Because I'm taking full credit for what you see." He 'polished' his claws against his neck fluff and examined them. "I don't usually do it, but sometimes if I'm bored and don't have a new supply of books to read I'll start on one and work on it a bit at a time. One of my lesser known talents." He then pointed at the room around him. "Couldn't really have these in the forest. Too many ways they could be damaged, so here was more ideal."

"I can see why." She turned her gaze around the room again before giggling and giving him an almost smug look. "Ya'll must really adore that little girl. There's six paintins' with her sweet lil face on 'em. But strangely I see none with the other one."

He paused for a moment looking at her...before coughing and looking away embarrased. "Well. Yes. I'm proud of them. In a way.....But we learnt the hard way the kiddo was allergic to paint and she wasn't too fond of the idea of her being painted."

Poppy guessed he was referring to Bow and hummed. "Poor thing. I can understand how that feels. But still." Her smile became all the more loving to him. "You have acceptional talent for this king of stuff. I reckon now I can say I was abducted by aliens and saw paintings by ghost. Hehe!"

He felt a warm feeling bubble up at the giggle but he cleared his throat and looked away again crossing his arms. "A-Alright! W-Well I think your legal fifthteen minute break is over, Red. Didn't you have something else to do today?"

"OH RIGHT!! The attic. I wonder if that girl has a hammer and nails?"

"Pretty sure she does since she literally has everything around her-......" He stopped midway through his rant and stared at her. Or more acturrately the bottom of her dress with all the rips and hole in it and pointed it out to her. "What the peck happened to you?"

She blinked and looked down to where he was pointing. "Oh. This? I think I got it all ripped up crashlandin' through those trees."

"You look like a homeless maid wearing that." He grunt and rolled his eyes. "Guess I'll have to fix that too."

Her red brow rose in surprise. "You sew too?"

"Of course I can! I made the kids all those clothes and my minions their highly durable bodies." His hand proudly pointed to himself. "I happen to be a powerful being with unlimited hidden talents." ..........Poppy's face suddenly turned into one of amuzement and she snorted again hand shooting to her mouth while the other went to her gut to try and hide the laughter. Which Snatcher flabbergasterdly got angry at. "WHAT'S WITH THAT LAUGHING!? WHAT?! YOU DON'T THINK MEN CAN SEW!? THAT'S LOW COMING FROM YOU!!" She snorted again sounding like a pig doubling over a bit and smiling wider behind her hand making Snatcher give a small growl. "HEY!! DON'T LAUGH AT ME YOU DOTTED FACE!! IM THE SNATCHER!! KING OF SUBCON AND TAKER OF SOULS!!"

She snorted again and in a strained voice said. "Oh yes. *Wheeze* T-The great and horrible monster ghost. Daddy of aliens, Painter of...HMHM! HAHA!! D-Daughters. And tailor of dresses."

Snatcher let out the biggest flustered peacock sqawk she'd ever heard and she lost it. Doubling over onto her knees, both hands gripping her sides as she leaned over and laughed hard, snorting a few times. Snatcher's cheeks lit up with a bright yellow flush and his fluff floofed out of embarrassment as he just kinda sputtered and stared at the laughing woman on the floor at a loss for words. Eventually forcing something out.

"OH YEAH!! W-WELL YOU LOOK LIKE A POOR MAID!! JUST-.....GO CHANGE OUTTA THAT RUINED DRESS BY THE TIME I LEAVE IF YOU WANT IT FIXED!! A-AND GO FIX THAT STUPID ATTIC AS PUNISHMENT!!"

He dissappeared back up into the ceiling leaving the wheezing and laughing woman hugging her sides through her laughing fit. Coughing when she couldn't get enough air. Oh boy. Was he gonna be sour for a while.

[collegeburnoutsuperstar]

2021 Book Recommendations

Way back in March 2020, at the very start of quarantine I did a little quarantine-read book rec list. We are now in 2021 and we are still in quarantine, so here’s an updated book rec post to help you through a socially distanced winter break and holiday season.

Non-Fiction:

Zami: A New Spelling of My Name | Audre Lorde | Adult | Memoir | LGBTQ | Zami provides a detailed look into Lorde’s life growing up in the 30s, 40s, and 50s as a young, poor, lesbian, black woman. Discussion focuses primarily on racism, poverty, and sexuality. | Trigger/Content Warnings: rape, suicide\suicide attempts, death, racism, abortion, mentions of cancer, mentions of abuse, sex.

Redefining Realness | Janet Mock | Adult | Memoir | LGBTQ | “This powerful memoir follows Mock’s quest for identity, from an early, unwavering conviction about her gender to a turbulent adolescence in Honolulu that saw her transitioning during the tender years of high school, self-medicating with hormones at fifteen, and flying across the world alone for sex reassignment surgery at just eighteen. With unflinching honesty, Mock uses her own experiences to impart vital insight about the unique challenges and vulnerabilities of trans youth and brave girls like herself” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: underage prostitution, transphobia, bullying.

An Autobiography | Angela Y. Davis | Adult | Memoir | A story of racism, discrimination, imprisonment, and Communism; “the author, a political activist, reflects upon the people and incidents that have influenced her life and commitment to global liberation of the oppressed” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: racism, murder, violence, police brutality.

Before Night Falls | Reinaldo Arenas | Adult | Memoir | LGBTQ | “Cuban writer Reinaldo Arenas describes his poverty-stricken childhood in rural Cuba, his adolescence as a rebel fighting for Fidel Castro, and his life in revolutionary Cuba as a homosexual. Very quickly, the Castro government suppressed his writing and persecuted him for his homosexuality until he was final imprisoned” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: underage sexual experiences with other minors, statutory rape, bestiality, incest, graphic descriptions of sex, suicide attempts, mentions of suicide, mentions of AIDs, homophobia.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings | Maya Angelou | Adult | “Sent by their mother to live with their devout, self-sufficient grandmother in a small Southern town, Maya and her brother endure the ache of abandonment and the prejudice of the local ‘powhitetrash’. At eight years old and back at her mother’s side in St. Louis, Maya is attacked by a man many times her age-- and has to live with the consequences for a lifetime. Year later, in San Francisco, Maya learns that love for herself, the kindness of others, her own strong spirit, and the ideas of great authors will allow her to be free instead of imprisoned” (Goodreads).

Notes of a Native Son | James Baldwin | Adult | Essay Collection | “Written during the 1940s, when Baldwin was only in his twenties, the essays collected in Notes of a Native Son capture a view of black life and black thought at the dawn of the Civil Rights movement and as the movement slowly gained strength through the words of one of the most captivating essayists and foremost intellectuals of that era. Writing as an artist, activist, and social critic, Baldwin probes the complex condition of being black in America. With a keen eye, he examines everything from the significance of the protest novel to the motives and circumstances of the many black expatriates of the time” (Amazon).

Contemporary Fiction: 

Alex in Wonderland | Simon James Green | Young Adult | Romance | LGBTQ | “ In the town of Newsands, painfully shy Alex is abandoned by his two best friends for the summer. But he unexpectedly lands a part-time job at Wonderland, a run-down amusement arcade on the seafront, where he gets to know the other teen misfits who work there. Alex starts to come out of his shell, and even starts to develop feelings for co-worker Ben... who, as Alex's bad luck would have it, has a girlfriend. Then as debtors close in on Wonderland and mysterious, threatening notes start to appear, Alex and his new friends take it on themselves to save their declining employer. But, like everything in Wonderland, nothing is quite what it seems” (Goodreads). 

Red, White & Royal Blue | Casey McQuiston | New Adult | Romance | LGBTQ | First Son Alex Claremont-Diaz, son of United States President Ellen Claremont, finds himself back in the public eye after a confrontation with his nemesis, His Royal Highness Prince Henry, at a royal wedding. The only way to save American/British relations from crumbling: Create a fake friendship between Alex and Henry. But what happens when this fake friendship becomes something more? How will these two young men go down in history?

Fifty Shames of Earl Gray | Fanny Merkin | Adult | Parody/Humor | Very Heterosexual | “ Young, arrogant, tycoon Earl Grey seduces the naïve coed Anna Steal with his overpowering good looks and staggering amounts of money, but will she be able to get past his fifty shames, including shopping at Walmart on Saturdays, bondage with handcuffs, and his love of BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick)? Or will his dark secrets and constant smirking drive her over the edge?” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: the is a parody of Fifty Shades of Grey...

Historical Fiction:

Water Music | T. Coraghessan Boyle | Adult | Adventure | “Set in the late eighteenth century, Water Music follows the wild adventures of Ned Rise, thief and whoremaster, and Mungo Park, a Scottish explorer, through London’s seamy gutters and Scotland’s scenic highlands to their grand meeting in the heart of darkest Africa. There they join forces and wend their hilarious way to the source of the Niger” (Goodreads).

The Island of the Day Before | Umberto Eco | Adult | Italian Literature | “After a violent storm in the South Pacific in the year 1643, Roberto della Griva finds himself shipwrecked-on a ship. Swept from the Amaryllis, he has managed to pull himself aboard the Daphne, anchored in the bay of a beautiful island. The ship is fully provisioned, he discovers, but the crew is missing. As Roberto explores the different cabinets in the hold, he remembers chapters from his youth: Ferrante, his imaginary evil brother; the siege of Casale, that meaningless chess move in the Thirty Years' War in which he lost his father and his illusions; and the lessons given him on Reasons of State, fencing, the writing of love letters, and blasphemy. In this fascinating, lyrical tale, Umberto Eco tells of a young dreamer searching for love and meaning; and of a most amazing old Jesuit who, with his clocks and maps, has plumbed the secrets of longitudes, the four moons of Jupiter, and the Flood” (Goodreads).

Brethren [Raised by Wolves series 1] | W. A. Hoffman | Adult | Adventure/Buccaneers | LGBTQ | “John Williams, the Viscount of Marsdale, libertine, duelist, dilettante, haphazard philanthropist and philosopher, is asked by his estranged father to start a plantation in Jamaica in 1667. He doesn’t realize that he is going to the right island for the wrong reasons until he meets buccaneers and learns he has for more in common with the wild Brethren of the Coast than he does with the nobility of Christendom. Still, he questions joining them and leaving his title and the plantation behind until her meets Gaston the Ghoul, a mysterious French buccaneer who is purportedly mad. He quickly decides that the freedom of buccaneer life [...] [is] better than anything he could ever inherit” (Goodreads). Trigger/Content Warnings: violence, mentions of rape, mentions of death, mentions of torture, mentions of abuse, mentions of incest, slavery, discussions of mental illness at a time when it is not really understood, descriptions of sex, alcohol use.

Captive Prince [The Captive Prince Trilogy 1] | C. S. Pacat | Adult | Historical-inspired  Fiction | LGBTQ [more in later books] | Prince Damianos of Akielos finds himself captured and stripped of his true identity when someone close to the Prince makes a move for the throne. Part of the plot: ship the captured Prince to the enemy nation of Vere as a pleasure slave. In Vere, Damianos takes on a new identity, or else he would immediately be put to death by his new master, the Prince of Vere. Damianos quickly discovers that his capture and enslavement is not just an isolated incident, but is in fact part of a much larger plot that will drastically change the futures of both Akielos and Vere. | Trigger/Content Warnings: violence, torture, slavery/pleasure slaves [partially set within a culture that uses slaves], death, pedophilia, mentions of rape, descriptions of sex, suicide [in the second book]. DISCLAIMER: This trilogy has an enemies-to-lovers subplot, but it is in no way romanticizing slavery, rape, or violence. The romance subplot does not start until the characters undergo massive amounts of character growth and development.

11/22/63 | Stephen King | Adult | Time Travel | Thriller | Jake Epping, a thirty-five year old high school teacher English teacher and GED teacher from Maine embarks on a world-changing mission after a trip to the storeroom of his friend Al’s diner. Within the storeroom, Al has been hiding a secret, a secret that is objectively better than anything else that could’ve been hidden in a diner storeroom. Al has a portal to 1958. The mission: try to stop the Kennedy Assassination. Just remember, the current timeline may just be the best one. | Trigger/Content Warnings: death, violence, racism, domestic abuse, political assassination.

Adult Science Fiction & Fantasy:

The Rage of Dragons | Evan Winter | High Fantasy | “The Omehi people have been fighting an unwinnable fight for almost two hundred years. Their society has been billt around war and only war. The lucky ones are born gifted. One in every two thousand women has the power to call down dragons. One in every hundred men is able to magically transform himself into a bigger, stronger, faster killing machine. Everyone else is fodder, destined to fight and die in the endless war. Young, gift-less Tau knows all this, but he has a plan of escape. He is going to get himself injured, get out early, and settle down to marriage, children, and land. Only, he doesn’t get the chance. Those closest to him are brutally murdered and his grief swiftly turns to anger. Fixated on revenge, Tau dedicates himself to an unthinkable path. He’ll become the greatest swordsman to ever live, a man willing to die a hundred thousand times for the chance to kill the three who betrayed him” (Goodreads).

The Binding | Bridget Collins | Historical Fantasy | LGBTQ | While suffering from a mysterious illness, Emmett Farmer is sent away from his family to apprentice at a bookbinder’s workshop. But Emmett has been taught to hate books his whole life, they are dangerous and shameful. But under the instruction of the book binder, Emmett learns the secrets that books hold and uncovers a past that he didn’t even know he had. | Trigger/Content Warnings: homophobia, death, suicide, allusions to rape.

The House in the Cerulean Sea | T.J. Klune | Suitable for all ages | Urban Fantasy | LGBTQ | Don’t you wish you were here? Forty year old Linus Baker lives a lonesome, drear life. For seventeen years, Mr. Baker has worked as a case worker at the Department In Charge Of Magical Youth where he monitors the treatment of magical children in government-sanctioned orphanages. In a break from his usual routine, Mr. Baker is unexpectedly summoned by Extremely Upper Management and is assigned a highly classified and possibly dangerous case. He is sent to the Marsyas Island Orphanage where he meets the six dangerous children; a gnome, a sprite, a wyvern, a green blob, a were-Pomeranian, and the Antichrist, along with their caretaker Arthur Parnassus. At the the end of his stay, Mr. Baker must make a decision: Should he follow the rules, or protect a family? 

Wolfsong [The Green Creak Series 1] | T.J. Klune | Paranormal/Shifter Romance | LGBTQ | “Ox was twelve when his daddy taught him a very valuable lesson. He said that Ox wasn’t worth anything and people would never understand him. Then he left. Ox was sixteen when he met a boy on the road, the boy who talked and talked and talked. Ox found out later the boy hadn’t spoken in almost two years before that day, and that the boy belonged to a family who had moved into the house at the end of the lane. Ox was seventeen when he found out they boy’s secret, and it painted the world around him in colors of red  and orange and violet, of Alpha and Beta and Omega. Ox was twenty-three when murder can to town and tore a hole in his head and heart. The boy chased after the monster with revenge in his bloodred eyes, leaving Ox behind to pick up the pieces. It’s been three years since that fateful day-- and the boy is back. Except now he’s a man, and Ox can no longer ignore the song that howls between them” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: violence, death, age-gap romance.

The City of Dreaming Books | Walter Moers | German Fantasy | Absurd Fantasy | “Optimus Yarnspinner, a young writer, inherits from his beloved godfather an unpublished short story by an unknown author. His search for the author’s identity takes him to Bookholm-- the so-called City of Dreaming Books. On entering its streets, our hero feels as if he opened the door of a gigantic second-hand bookshop. His nostrils are assailed by clouds of book dust, the stimulating sent of ancient leather, and the tang of printer’s ink. Soon, though, Yarnspinner falls into the clutches of the city’s evil genius, Pfistomel Smyke, who treacherously maroons him in the labyrinthine catacombs underneath the city, where reading books can be genuinely dangerous” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: death, largely takes place in underground tunnels, illustrations can be unsettling.

Bored of the Rings: A Parody of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings | The Harvard Lampoon, Henry N. Beard, Douglas C. Kenney | NOT AT ALL FOR CHILDREN | Parody/Humor | Adventure | “A quest, a war, a ring that would be grounds for calling any wedding off, a king without a kingdom, and a little, furry ‘hero’ named Frito, ready-- or maybe just forced by the wizard Goodgulf-- to undertake the one mission which can save Lower Middle Earth from enslavement by the evil Sorhed. Luscious Elfmaidens, a roller-skating dragon, ugly plants that can soul-kiss the unwary to death-- these are just some of the ingredients in the wildest, wackiest, most irreverent excursion into fantasy realms that anyone has ever dared to undertake” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: drug/alcohol use.

Dune | Frank Herbert | Science Fiction/Science Fantasy | “Set on the desert planet Arrakis, Dune is the story of the boy Paul Atreides, heir to a noble family tasked with ruling an inhospitable world where the only thing of value is the ‘spice’ melange, a drug capable of extending life and enhancing consciousness. Coveted across the known universe, melange is a prize worth killing for. When house Atreides is betrayed, the destruction of Paul’s family will set the boy on a journey toward a destiny greater than he could ever have imagined” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: death, drug use.

The Magicians [The Magicians Trilogy 1] | Lev Grossman | Urban/Portal Fantasy | “Quentin Coldwater is brilliant but miserable. A senior in high school, he’s still secretly preoccupied with a series of fantasy novels he read as a child, set in a magical land called Fillory. Imagine his surprise when he finds himself unexpectedly admitted to a very secret, very exclusive college of magic in upstate New York, where he receives a thorough and rigorous education in the craft of modern sorcery. He also discovers all the other things people learn in college: friendship, love, sex, booze, and boredom. Something is missing, though. Magic doesn’t bring Quentin the happiness and adventure he dreamed it would. After graduation he and his friends make a stunning discovery: Fillory is real. But the land of Quentin’s fantasies turns out to be much darker and more dangerous than he could have imagined. His childhood dream becomes a nightmare with a shocking truth at its heart” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: drug/alcohol abuse, depression, death, rape [in book 2].

Mo Dao Zu Shi | Mo Xiang Tong Xiu | Wuxia/Chinese Fantasy | LGBTQ | “As the grandmaster who founded demonic cultivation, Wei WuXian roamed the world in his wanton ways, hated by millions for the chaos he created. In the end, he was backstabbed by his dearest shidi and killed by powerful clans that combined to overpower him. He incarnates into the body of a lunatic who was abandoned by his clan and is later, unwillingly, taken away by a famous cultivator among the sects-- Lan WanJi, his archenemy. This marks the start of a thrilling yet hilarious journey of attacking monsters, solving mysteries, and raising children[...] Along the way, Wei WuXian slowly realizes that Lan WanJi, a seemingly haughty and indifferent poker-face, holds more feelings for Wei WuXian than he is letting on” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: suicide, death, murder, violence, incest, rape (I think), abuse, abusive families.

The Eye of the World [The Wheel of Time series 1] | Robert Jordan | Epic Fantasy | Adventure | “The Wheel of Time turns and Ages come and pass. What was, what will be, and what is, may yet fall under the Shadow. Let the Dragon ride again on the winds of time. The Wheel of Time Turns and Ages come and go, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth returns again. In the Third Age, an Age of Prophecy, the World and Time themselves hang in the balance. What was, what will be, and what is, may yet fall under the Shadow. When The Two-Rivers is attacked by Trollocs-- a savage tribe of half-men, half-beasts-- five villagers flee that night into a world they barely imagined, with new dangers waiting in the shadows and in the light” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: death, violence.

The Lies of Locke Lamora [Gentleman Bastard Series 1] | Scott Lynch | Heist Fantasy | “An Orphan’s life is harsh-- and often short-- in the mysterious island city of Camorr. But young Locke Lamora dodges death and slavery, becoming a thief under the tutelage of a gifted con artist. As leader of the band of light-fingered brothers known as the Gentleman Bastards, Locke is soon infamous, fooling even the underworld’s most feared ruler. But in the shadows lurks someone still more ambitious and deadly. Faced with a bloody coup that threatens to destroy everyone and everything that holds meaning in his mercenary life, Locke vows to beat the enemy at his own brutal game-- or die trying” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: death, violence, torture.

The Name of the Wind [The Kingkiller Chronicle 1] | Patrick Rothfuss | Epic Fantasy | “My name is Kvothe. I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. I have spent the night with Felurian and left with both my sanity and my life. I was expelled from the University at a younger age than most people are allowed in. I tread paths my moonlight that others fear to speak of during the day. I have talked to Gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep. You may have heard of me” (The Name of the Wind). | Trigger/Content Warnings: death, violence, abuse, book three still doesn’t have a release date.

Trick [Foolish Kingdoms 1] | Natalia Jaster | Fantasy Romance | LGBTQ | “There is only one rule amongst his kind: A jester doesn’t lie. In the Kingdom of Spring, Poet is renowned. He’s young and pretty, a lover of men and women, he performs for the court, kisses like a scoundrel, and mocks with a silver tongue. Yet allow him this: It’s only the most cunning, most manipulative soul who can play the fool. For Poet guards a secret. One the Crown would shackle him for. One that he’ll risk everything to protect. Alas, it will take more than clever words to deceive Princess Briar. Convinced that he’s juggling lies as well as verse, this righteous nuisance of a girl is determined to expose him. But not all falsehoods are fiendish. Poet’s secret is delicate, binding the jester to the princess in an unlikely alliance, and kindling a breathless attraction, as alluring as it is forbidden” (Goodreads).

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? | Philip K. Dick | Science Fiction | “It was January 2021, and Rick Deckard had a license to kill. Somewhere among the hordes of humans out there, lurked several rogue androids. Deckard’s assignment-- find them and then ‘retire’ them. Trouble was, the androids all looked exactly like humans, and they didn’t want to be found out” (Goodreads).

Young Adult Science-Fiction & Fantasy:

Cemetery Boys | Aiden Thomas | Urban Fantasy | Romance | LGBTQ | “Yadriel has summoned a ghost, and now he can't get rid of him. When his traditional Latinx family has problems accepting his true gender, Yadriel becomes determined to prove himself a real brujo. With the help of his cousin and best friend Maritza, he performs the ritual himself, and then sets out to find the ghost of his murdered cousin and set it free. However, the ghost he summons is actually Julian Diaz, the school's resident bad boy, and Julian is not about to go quietly into death. He's determined to find out what happened and tie off some loose ends before he leaves. Left with no choice, Yadriel agrees to help Julian, so that they can both get what they want. But the longer Yadriel spends with Julian, the less he wants to let him leave” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: transphobia, dead-naming.

In Other Lands | Sarah Rees Brennan | Urban/Portal Fantasy | LGBTQ | “The Borderlands aren’t like anywhere else. Don’t try to smuggle a phone or any other piece of technology over the wall that marks the Border—unless you enjoy a fireworks display in your backpack. (Ballpoint pens are okay.) There are elves, harpies, and—best of all as far as Elliot is concerned—mermaids. Elliot? Who’s Elliot? Elliot is thirteen years old. He’s smart and just a tiny bit obnoxious. Sometimes more than a tiny bit. When his class goes on a field trip and he can see a wall that no one else can see, he is given the chance to go to school in the Borderlands. It turns out that on the other side of the wall, classes involve a lot more weaponry and fitness training and fewer mermaids than he expected. On the other hand, there’s Serene-Heart-in-the-Chaos-of-Battle, an elven warrior who is more beautiful than anyone Elliot has ever seen, and then there’s her human friend Luke: sunny, blond, and annoyingly likeable. There are lots of interesting books. There’s even the chance Elliot might be able to change the world” (Goodreads).

The Fascinators | Andrew Eliopulos | Urban Fantasy | LGBTQ | “Living in a small town where magic is frowned upon, Sam needs his friends James and Delia—and their time together in their school's magic club—to see him through to graduation. But as soon as senior year starts, little cracks in their group begin to show. Sam may or may not be in love with James. Delia is growing more frustrated with their amateur magic club. And James reveals that he got mixed up with some sketchy magickers over the summer, putting a target on all their backs. With so many fault lines threatening to derail his hopes for the year, Sam is forced to face the fact that the very love of magic that brought his group together is now tearing them apart—and there are some problems that no amount of magic can fix” (Goodreads).

Things Not Seen | Andrew Clements | Science Fiction | Realistic Fiction | “Bobby Philips is an average fifteen-year-old boy. Until the morning he wakes up and can’t see himself in the mirror. Not blind, not dreaming. Bobby is just plain invisible. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to Bobby’s new condition; even his dad the physicist can’t figure it out. For Bobby that means no school, no friends, no life. He’s a missing person. Then he meets Alicia. She’s blind, and Bobby can’t resist talking to her, trusting her. But people are starting to wonder where Bobby is. Bobby knows that his invisibility could have dangerous consequences for his family and that time is running out. He has to find out how to be seen again before it’s too late” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: Car accident.

Howl’s Moving Castle [Howl’s Moving Castle series 1] | Diana Wynne Jones | Fantasy | Portal Fantasy | Adventure | “Sophie has the great misfortune of being the eldest of three daughters, destined to fail miserably should she ever leave home to seek her fate. But when she unwittingly attracts the ire of the Witch of the Waste, Sophie finds herself under a horrid spell that transforms her into an old lady. Her only chance at breaking it lies in the ever-moving castle in the hills: the Wizard Howl’s castle. To untangle the enchantment, Sophie must handle the heartless Howl, strike a bargain with a fire demon, and meet the Witch of the Waste head-on. Along the way, she discovers that there’s far more to Howl --and herself-- than first meets the eye” (Goodreads).

Castle in the Air [Howl’s Moving Castle series 2] | Diana Wynne Jones | Fantasy | Adventure | “In which a humble young carpet merchant wins, then loses, the princess of his dreams. Far to the south of the land of Ingary, in the Sultanates of Rashpuht, there lived in the city of Zanzib a young and not very prosperous carpet dealer named Abdullah who loved to spend his time daydreaming. He was content with his life and his daydreams until, one day, a stranger sold him a magic carpet. That very night, the carpet flew him to an enchanted garden. There, he met and fell in love with the beauteous princess Flower-in-the-Night, only to have her snatched away, right under his very nose, by a wicked djinn. With only his magic carpet and his wits to help him, Abdullah sets off to rescue his princess” (Goodreads).

A Wizard of Earthsea [Earthsea Cycle 1] | Ursula K. Le Guin | Fantasy | “Ged, the greatest sorcerer in all Earthsea, was called Sparrowhawk in his reckless youth. Hungry for power and knowledge, Sparrowhawk tampered with long-held secrets and loosed a terrible shadow upon the world. This is the tale of his testing, how he mastered the mighty words of power, tamed an ancient dragon, and crossed death’s threshold to restore the balance” (Goodreads).

Middle-Grade/Children’s Fiction:

Island of the Aunts | Eva Ibbotson | Middle-Grade | Fantasy | Adventure | “When the kindly old aunts decide that they need help caring for creatures who live on their hidden island, they know that adults can’t be trusted. What they need are a few special children who can keep a secret-- a secret as big as a magical island. And what better way to get children who can keep really big secrets, than to kidnap them! (After all, some children just plain need to be kidnapped.)” (Goodreads).

Ruby Holler | Sharon Creech | Middle-Grade | Realistic Fiction | Adventure | “Brother and sister Dallas and Florida are the ‘trouble twins.’ In their short thirteen years, they’ve passed through countless foster homes, only to return to their dreary orphanage, Boxton Creek Home. Run by the Trepids, a greedy and strict couple, Boxton Creek seems impossible to escape. When Mr. Trepid informs the twins that they’ll be helping old Tiller and Sairy Morey go on separate adventures, Dallas and Florida are suspicious. As the twins adjust to the natural beauty of the outdoors, help the Tillers prepare for their adventures, and foil a robbery, their ultimate search for freedom leads them home to Ruby Holler” (Goodreads).

The Westing Game | Ellen Raskin | Middle-Grade | Realistic Fiction | Mystery | “A bizarre chain of events begins when sixteen unlikely people gather for the reading of Samuel W. Westing’s will. And though no one knows why the eccentric, game-loving millionaire has chosen a virtual stranger --and a possible murderer-- to inherit his vast fortune, one thing’s for sure: Sam Westing may be dead... but that won’t stop him for playing one last game!” (Goodreads).

Midnight for Charlie Bone [The Children of the Red King series 1] | Jenny Nimmo | Middle-Grade | Urban Fantasy | “Charlie Bone has a special gift-- he can hear people in photographs talking! The fabulous powers of the Red King were passed down through his descendants, after turning up quite unexpectedly, in someone who had no idea where they came from. This is what happened to Charlie Bone, and to some of the children he met behind the grim, gray walls of Bloor’s Academy. His scheming aunts decide to send him to Bloor’s Academy, a school for geniuses where he uses his gifts to discover the truth despite all the dangers that lie ahead” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: abusive family situations (mental and emotional), bullying, some parts can be creepy/spooky.

The Maze of Bones [The 39 Clues series 1 ] | Rick Riordan (the series is written by several different authors) | Middle-Grade | Mystery | Adventure | Action | “When their beloved aunt --matriarch of the world’s most powerful family-- dies, orphaned siblings Amy and Dan Cahill compete with less honorable Cahill descendants in a race around the world to find cryptic clues to a mysterious fortune” (Goodreads). Trigger/Content Warnings: Death, house fire, dead parents, abusive family.

The Doll People | Ann M. Martin | Middle-Grade | Fantasy | Adventure | “Annabelle Doll is 8 years old --and has been for over 100 years. Nothing much has changed in the dollhouse during that time, except for the fact that 45 years ago, Annabelle’s Auntie Sarah disappeared from the dollhouse without a trace. After all this time, restless Annabelle is becoming more and more curious about her aunt’s fate. And when she discovers Auntie Sarah’s old diary, she becomes positively driven. Her cautious family tries to discourage her, but Annabelle won’t be stopped, even though she risks Permanent Doll State, in which she could turn into a regular, nonliving doll. And when the ‘Real Pink Plastic’ Funcraft family moves in next door, the Doll family’s world is turned upside down --in more ways than one!” (Goodreads). | Content Waring: It’s living dolls, this is off-putting to many people.

Bud, Not Buddy | Christopher Paul Curtis | Middle-Grade | Historical Fiction | Realistic Fiction | “It’s 1936, in Flint Michigan. Times may be hard, and ten-year-old Bud may be a motherless boy on the run, but Bud’s got a few things going for him: He has his own suitcase full of special things. He’s the author of Bud Caldwell’s Rules and Things for Having a Funner Life and Making a Better Liar Out of Yourself. His momma never told him who his father was, but she left a clue: flyers advertising Herman E. Calloway and his famous band, the Dusky Devastators of the Depression!!!!!! Bud’s got an idea that those flyers will lead him to his father. Once he decides to hit the road and find this mystery man, nothing can stop him --not hunger, not fear, not vampires, not even Herman E. Calloway himself” (Goodreads).

The Thief Lord | Cornelia Funke | Middle-Grade | Fantasy | Adventure | Mystery | “Two orphaned children are on the run, hiding among the crumbling canals and misty alleyways of the city of Venice. Befriended by a gang of street children and their mysterious leader, the Thief Lord, they shelter in an old, disused cinema. On their trail is a bungling detective, obsessed with disguises and the health of his pet tortoises. But a greater threat to the boys’ new-found freedom is something from a forgotten past --a beautiful magical treasure with the power to spin time itself” (Goodreads).

Igraine the Brave | Cornelia Funke | Middle-Grade | Fantasy | Adventure | “Igraine dreams of being a famous knight like her great-grandfather, but castle life is boring. Until the nephew of the baroness-next-door plans to capture the castle for their singing spell books. At the moment of the siege, her parents mistakenly turn themselves into pigs. Aided by a Gentle Giant and a sorrowful Knight, Igraine must by brave, and save the day --and the books” (Goodreads).

Valley of the Dinosaurs [Magic Tree House series 1] | Mary Pope Osborne | Children’s Literature | Science Fiction (time travel) | “Eight-year-old Jack and his little sister, Annie, are playing in the woods during their summer holiday, when they find a mysterious tree house full of books. But these are no ordinary books... And this is no ordinary tree house... Jack and Annie get more than they had bargained for when Jack opens a book about dinosaurs and wishes he could see them for real. They end up in prehistoric times with Pteranodons, Triceratops and a huge Tyrannosaurus Rex! How will they get home again? The race is on!” (Goodreads).

Frindle | Andrew Clements | Middle-Grade | Realistic Fiction | “Is Nick Allen a troublemaker? He really just likes to liven things up at school --and he’s always had plenty of great ideas. When Nick learns some interesting information about how words are created, suddenly he’s got the inspiration for his best plan ever...the frindle. Who says a pen has to be called a pen? Why not call it a frindle? Things begin innocently enough as Nick gets his friends to use the new word. Then other people in town start saying frindle. Soon the school is in an uproar, and Nick has become a local hero. His teacher wants Nick to put an end to all this nonsense, but the funny this is frindle doesn’t belong to Nick anymore. The new word is spreading across the country, and there’s nothing Nick can do to stop it” (Goodreads).

Knights of the Kitchen Table [Time Warp Trio series 1] | Jon Scieszka | Children’s Literature | Fantasy | Time Travel | “Magician Uncle Joe’s birthday present entitle ‘The Book’ swirls green mist and grants pal Fred’s wish to ‘see knights and all that stuff for real’, sending Sir Joe the Magnificent, Sir Fred the Awesome, and Sir Same the Unusual to King Arthur’s castle opposing the Black Knight, grossly smelly giant Bleob, and fire-breathing leather-winged iron-clawed green dragon Smaug. Fred plays tag and wields a baseball bat. Sam cleverly politicks. Joseph, Arthur tricks with cards. But Merlin has ‘The Book’ to get home” (Goodreads).

Over Sea, Under Stone [The Dark Is Rising series 1] | Susan Cooper | Middle-Grade | Fantasy | Arthurian Inspired | “On holiday in Cornwall, the three Drew children discover an ancient map in the attic of the house that they are staying in. They know immediately that it is special. It is even more than that --the key to finding a grail, a source of power to fight the forces of evil known as the Dark. And in searching for it themselves, the Drews put their very lives in peril” (Goodreads).

Bunnicula: A Rabbit-Tale of Mystery [Bunnicula series 1] | Deborah Howe | Children’s Literature | Fantasy | Mystery | “BEWARE THE HARE! Is he or isn’t he a vampire? Before it’s too late, Harold the dog and Chester the cat must find out the truth about the newest pet in the Monroe household: a suspicious-looking bunny with unusual habits...and fangs!” (Goodreads).

Howliday Inn [Bunnicula series 2] | James Howe | Children’s Literature | Fantasy | Mystery | “Not a great place to visit, and you wouldn’t want to live there. The Monroes have gone on vacation, leaving Harold and Chester at Chateau Bow-Wow --not exactly a four-star hotel. On the animals’ very first night there, the silence is pierced by a peculiar wake-up call --an unearthly howl that makes Chester observe that the place should be called Howliday Inn. But the mysterious cries in the night (Chester is convinced there are werewolves afoot) are just the beginning of the frightening goings-on. Soon animals start disappearing, and there are whispers of murder. Is checkout time at Chateau Bow-Wow going to come earlier than Harold and Chester anticipated?” (Goodreads).

Peter Pan | J.M. Barrie | Children’s Literature | Fantasy | Adventure | “The mischievous boy who refuses to grow up, lands in the Darling’s proper middle-class home to look for his shadow. He befriends Wendy, John and Michael and teaches them to fly (with a little help from fairy dust). He and Tinker Bell whisk them off to Never-land where they encounter the Red Indians [Native Never-landers], the Little Lost Boys, pirates and the dastardly Captain Hook” (Goodreads). | Content Warnings: use of the terms “Red Indians” and “Indians” (and probably other racist terms, I can’t remember though).

Owl Moon | Jane Yolen | Picture Book | Realistic Fiction | “Late one winter night a little girl and her father go owling. The trees stand still as statues and the world is silent as a dream. Whoo-whoo-whoo, the father calls to the mysterious nighttime bird. But there is no answer. Wordlessly the two companions walk along, for when you go owling you don’t need words. You don’t need anything but hope. Sometimes there isn’t an owl, but sometimes there is” (Goodreads).

Kiana’s Iditarod | Shelley Gill | Picture Book | Fiction | Educational | “Kiana is no ordinary dog. Born and bred to race, she leads her team of huskies on a journey unlike any other. The Iditarod --known traditionally as Alaska’s ‘Last Great Race’-- spans 1,049 icy miles from Anchorage to Nome. From the treacherous terrain to the bitter, blowing winds, the trail is full of obstacles Kiana and her team must overcome in order to reach the finish line. Along the way, they encounter pacts of wild wolves, a mighty moose, and other dog-sled teams fighting for first place. Can Kiana summon the strength of her team and lead them to victory? Author Shelley Gill brings her firsthand experience as the fifth woman to complete the Iditarod race to this crackling adventure story” (Amazon).

[tirednotflirting]

okay okay okay let's do it. 4, 24, 25, 26, 35, and 39 bc you deserve to be nice to yourself. yes i read the entire list of questions. give me your answers at your leisure love you the most xoxo bella

lol thnk you my love u are Right i just forget that sometimes <3

okie dokie here we go:

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

heck yeah okay RIGHT NOW? okay.

i have been LOVING ! off the wall by @ilovegolden from the very beginning. warped tour au is a god tier au, alright? i love how the whole thing is so romanticized by everyone who was ever involved in it, especially as someone who never got to go it brings me a lot of joy. the characters in this are all so vibrant and bright and i wanna be their best friend and also just give them a hug (and probably a nap and shower lol). the detail in this is so special and carefully crafted like i feel the love in it. i read so little harry fic nowadays like keeping up with this has made me so nostalgic too. really looking forward to where this guy goes :)))

(i stg i’m not kissing ass here) i fucking love daydream jalex (aka right now could last forever (just as long as i'm with you) like quite literally babe it’s my emotional support fic i almost have a ritual of reading this probably once a week. the story telling in this is unreal like you’re sucked into their little world from the first line where they’re throwing fucking cheese at each other. there’s so much history woven into every line like it’s wild i don’t know how you do it. there’s so much love and joy between all the characters and it’s just FUN. this fic really highlights all of the best things about your writing like i could go on for days. <3

lastly, bc i was beginning to reread it the other day, i think i’m going with the one and only britpop malum (orrrr i took a walk with my fame down memory lane (i never did find my way back) by @calumcest) (god helen your url never fails to make me giggle at least a little bit). one of my favorite things about helen’s writing is how fly on the wall i immediately feel in every scene. she shows and tells it all and i can see the lights from the show and heat liam bitching about the band and football and it’s such a good time living inside of her writing for a little while. i’m always going to hold this fic close to my heart i think after spending the entire summer sitting in the doc. (side note - it still kills me that every once in a while after reading this fic i forget the gallaghers are real people ANYWAY.) excited to get caught up on this thing i miss this little world <3

(sorry idk how to provide short answers on Anything :    )

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

see this is hard for me because i know for a fact that there are LOADS of tropes i would never want to write but i’ve read a ridiculous number of them and i’m not necessarily opposed to much (something for everybody, ya know?). i guess like a True enemies to lovers is a little bit lame and hard to do well, imo (i say true bc i almost feel like something like sugar on the asphalt - fucking fantastic and a Classic from @justanchorandhope i must say - could fall into that category except not really though bc grace probably doesn’t have the word enemy in her vocabulary, bless her heart). so okay we’ll go with that bc you probably couldn’t pay me enough to write it and i’m bored of trying to read it (said w love)

25. Do you listen to music as you write? If possible, link your writing playlist.

only if i’m writing songfic tbh! otherwise it confuses my brain. so all too well is still in my on repeat and currently it’s cornelia street (lol i rlly need THAT to go somewhere sdkfsfdjkl). i do have this playlist from when i tried writing this ashton fic last spring that went literally Nowhere but ya know good tunes. (god i came up with the coolest OCs last spring, miss them)

26. What’s your biggest distraction when writing?

oh god basically everything sldkfjsdlk i guess like i kinda just said, i cannot listen to music 95% of the time when trying to write. i wish i could but it would making 3248290x more of a headache and it also usually just gives me other ideas and then i can’t focus on the doc in front of me lol.

35. How much has writing fic changed your life?

like more than i could ever even begin to describe, dude. so i’m a stem girl, right? but when i was younger, my creativity was a lot more present and living inside my head and reading and writing little stories was so much fun. there was some kinda switch as i got older and i think those around me started preaching practicality a lot more and like, i was good in science and it was an easy route to a career and heeeeere we are. but it also meant i didn’t get any practice at being creative and i think at some point the jokes about not being good at or being allowed to be creative really got to me? so i just gave up the idea of the ideas i had ever really becoming anything. idk exactly what it was (something mixed into my conversations w helen last spring, probably) that got me to open up a doc one day and give it a shot but jesus christ, i’m so happy i did. writing fic is quite literally the biggest thing that brought me joy and community and some of the kindest souls (like yourself, miss bella) during a year that was set to be potentially pretty shitty. i wasn’t sure how i would be able to make friends in ‘adulthood’ but a creative outlet like this appears to be the answer. it’s also provided me a confidence in myself and my ability to create things that i never knew possible. like you said, i can be pretty mean to myself but like. i’m good at this. and that’s fucking cool. happy to be here.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

ya know that luke/lashton thing i wrote with a single line of dialogue? that. i pride myself on that. fkjsdlkf but really i think i’m pretty damn good at descriptive writing and i kinda dig how it’s become ~my thing~. i like showing rather than telling in my writing i think, it feels like a challenge. lemme talk about a sunset for dayyyyyys i swear i would. 

*

[paipayaseeds]

“you can shoot—? w-wait! don’t hurt shuichi!” she let go of his hand and stepped in front of him, blushing as she soon grabbed his fingers with the opposite hand. “it- it was my fault... i-i’m sorry kiibo i... i just wanted to- shuichi- i think- i think i got nervous when you l-looked up my... my dress and-” she didn’t know what she was saying, just trying to form some sort of sequence of events, “i didn’t mean to fall, kiibo! i’m sorry, i-i know i promised and- but i’m okay, my head just hurts a little- j-just stop being so mean to shuichi!” she eventually got out, finally realizing that kiibo seemed to yell at him whenever he was given the chance.

“he’s my- he’s my...” for some reason, she struggled to say the word, “he’s... my f-friend! and so are you and i- i just want you two to be friends too i.... p-please... we- we shouldn’t be arguing right now- whatever he did to you, kiibo, i’m sure he’s sorry...!”

“what he did to me? fumiko, what about what he did to-”

ding dong bing bong dingdngondhfshfg

fumiko gasped, stumbling backwards into the detective when she heard the chime.

“it’s time for the long awaited class trial!” announced monokid, which definitely took everyone’s attention away from whatever the hell was going on with fumiko and shuichi and towards the screen. she froze in her spot, terrified of what was to come. what if she messed something up? what if she distracted shuichi too much? what if she—?

“no it’s not! we’re just announcing that the photos are ready! stop interrupting me!” the pink one yelled, “anyway, i’ll be in the warehouse.” fumiko tuned out the noises around her, still calming herself from the panic she felt from the first misunderstanding. shuichi had to have been supporting most if not all her weight at this point, she couldn’t even feel her legs. she also hadn’t realized that, when she panicked, she interlocked her fingers with those she was holding, squeezing tightly. her breathing was still uneven, but she was actively trying to calm herself down. no, she wasn’t going to run away, she couldn’t. she made a promise that she was going to stay, and she wasn’t planning on breaking it any time soon.

“hey, shuichi-” kaede spoke, nervously placing her hand on shuichi’s shoulder. “we- um, no- you guys can head to the warehouse! i’ll stay back here and ask some more questions, i think we’re almost out of time, heh...” she gave a slightly sad smile, knowing that she’d only see them for so much longer before...

she didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to the pair as fumiko wordlessly ran out of the room with him, hand-in-hand. kiibo stood there in silence, choosing not to follow them as he didn’t want to make fumiko more upset with him.

she still didn’t realize that she was holding his hand until her palm started feeling sweaty. even sweatier than they felt after her k- accident with shuichi. “u-um... shu...ichi?” she could hardly speak, her voice just barely above a whisper. she cleared her throat as they walked, pulling her hand away and wiping it on the skirt of her dress before instinctively going back in to hold his again. her fingers just barely touched his palm before she hesitated and held his wrist instead. “i’m- it wasn’t your fault- uh- what happened in... there. i’m sorry- i was- i really was just trying to help...” she quieted as they made their way up the stairs from the basement, “i-i get it if you’re mad at me- um- i mean, i hated it, too. but... it was just an accident, right? it won’t happen again....?” she lied about hating it, both to him and herself, convinced that it would make him feel better about it. she thought back to the morning where she’d peppered his face in tiny kisses as they woke up, chuckling softly to herself at the pleasant memory.

soon enough, they were in the warehouse, and the tiny little pink bear was waiting for them.

“ahhh...” she sighed happily, “young love, it really is beautiful... but remember to use protection! wouldn’t want to give birth in a killing game, haha!”

fumiko went wide-eyed, glancing at shuichi, then back to monophanie. “i- we- we’re aren’t- we’re just friends!” she said, still holding shuichi’s wrist tightly. “s-stop...! just give us the damn pictures!” she shouted, a dark blush forming on her face.

she handed them three envelopes, saying there was one for each camera. fumiko was excited to see what they’d been planning, and how it would help them solve this! she eagerly ripped open one of the envelopes, tossing it on the floor as she flipped through the photos.

“h-hey, look! a picture of me falling! gotta frame that one, heh...” she flipped through some more before stopping again, a stupid smile plastering across her face.

“cute...” she thought out loud quietly before showing shuichi the picture of himself messing with the camera, giggling, “it’s shuichi! is he the culprit—? s-sorry... i probably shouldn’t joke about that...”

"I'm not mad at you, but you should be more careful-!" He cut himself off as he realized she was talking about the kiss. He felt his spirits slightly dampen as she confessed that she disliked it, his body reacting accordingly as he slightly slumped his shoulders. So it seemed what he felt wasn't mutual. Well, even so, she had that so-called 'husband' — though he still believes him to be false. "Y- yeah..." Despite finding himself wanting to just look her dead in the eye and say, 'Would it be bad if it did happen again?' he knew that would be crossing the line. So he just, went along with things, as he usually does.

Shuichi immediately started searching through the pictures, flinching as he caught sight of the picture of himself that Fumiko showed him. "A- ah, no that's embarrassing though-" he pitifully laughed, gently taking the photo from her before picking up the tattered envelope on the floor and shoving the picture inside.

Whilst he was near positive that he heard her utter out the word, 'cute', he was unable to react quick enough as she said something else that caught his attention. "Culprit?" He perked his head up, she was probably joking, right-? His expression softened as she confirmed it.

Shuichi forced a laugh as to not make her feel bad; it was alright to make jokes, right? It's good to keep spirits up, especially during a despairing investigation and the soul-crushing reality that they were all probably going to die in this killing game.

His laughing briefly skidded to a halt.

Clearing his throat to fill in the gap of empty silence, he decided to divert both of their attention back to the picture of her falling from the bookshelf. It was... a chaotic picture to put it lightly. Seconds before the crash, more so, the kiss.

Bringing his hand up to absentmindedly fiddle with his lip, he gazed at her with a slightly serious expression. With a soft, but scolding voice, he paid extra attention to his tone of voice, not wanting a repeat of the incident in the dining room. "Y- you really should've been more careful though... What if you got hurt?" He furrowed his brow as he thought further, "Not only that, actually... How- How did you get up there in the first place...? And, um, why?"

There was little to no good reason why she was up there in the first place, let alone why. But even so, he needed to know; not only for her safety and to tame his growing concern, but for the investigation.

"Spare no detail, I- I can understand... Probably. And it might be important to the investigation...!" God, Shuichi stop talking. Honestly, he probably should've asked her from the get-go about how she got up there. One second she was upstairs, another second she was tumbling into his arms from the fucking sky. Maybe she was an angel? Or some sort of godly being... that could perhaps, fly?

Obviously not, but Shuichi's romanticized, and elevated view of her certainly deemed it possible. But I guess this is what happens when you drive yourself insane with the slow burn and angst.

[shouldhavebeenyou]

The Storm

Its not fair.

Its been seven years since I fell in love with you. Every single day since then, my life has been turned upside down. It was raw, rough, passionate, incredible, painful, young love. I had no clue what I was doing with a girl like you. You were so high above me, all I knew was that I wanted it to last forever. You had the dopest soul I ever encountered, and I never knew I could care for someone so much. You may never know the effect you had on me. The moments we spent together replay in my head over and over, eroding away my will to live with every painful memory. 

But are the memories really painful? No, I suppose not. Those memories are full of complex emotions; happiness, sadness, longing, regret, love, despair, hopelessness, and yes, pain. Those memories are all I have left of our time together, aside from a few obscure landscape photographs where you were just out of frame. I try not to look at them.. but when I do it brings it all back. I wish I kept more of a record of us. As time goes on, it gets harder to remember. I lay awake at night just trying to play it all out. Just trying to remember your beautiful face, the feel of your lips, the sound of your laugh, the smell of your skin, the endless puns and witty jokes. The places we discovered and adventured together. The trouble we got in. 

Its not fair.

I can’t sleep. It’s been a few years of this. Each night is filled with hours of replaying my mistakes in my head, hours of picturing your face inches from mine, hours of remembering the nights spent at your childhood home out on the trampoline talking, replaying the memories of taking so long to leave that your dad flips the porch light on and off to say “hurry up.” After hours of recalling the best and worst of it all I might finally slip into an exhausted state where I just can’t think anymore. It’s like sleeping, but altogether different too, like a restless trance. Images flash through my head, some of them memories, some of them inventions of the dreaming mind. About every hour I’ll awake from this trance for a few moments, my heart racing and feeling broken, only to slip back into this nightmarish world of what could have been. Should have been.

Its like a slow, drawn out death. With every restless night the next day gets harder. The last time I truly felt alive was with you. The last time I truly felt in love was with you. The last time I truly felt, was with you. The last thing you said to me runs through my head over and over daily. I’ve held on to that memory since then like it was my only shot at freedom, at redemption, at life. Its naïve, I know, but I still think maybe, just maybe, we’ll run into each other on that crowded city street and pick up where we left off, just like you said that day you last left me. 

Its not fair. 

I did everything I thought I was supposed to. I’m such an idiot. You said to go to finish my degree, move away, and maybe when I’m finished with it we would run into each other on that crowded street. Well I’m done, I got that expensive piece of qualifying paper. In my fight for it, I lost sight of you. I became romanticized, deluded. In my degraded state of emptiness without you I became ravenous for something, anything, that would make me feel again. I tried more things to fill that void than I would like to admit, but the one that stuck was skydiving. The rush of air beneath me, the sky around and above me, the horizon seemingly stretching endlessly in every direction, the deafening roar of wind, and the feeling of soaring miles through empty space are the closest I have felt to you since you left. And yet, it falls so short that even hundreds of skydives couldn’t make me forget you, couldn’t measure up to the way you made me feel. If only I told myself to ditch the parachute and fly to you before it was too late. You are truly irreplaceable, and I can only hope he knows that as well as I do.

You have become the Daisy to my Gastby, the green light at the end of the dock across the bay, the unobtainable end to my story. I don’t know who I would be without that force driving me, but sometimes I can’t help but think I would be better, happier. Like Gatsby gone to war, I have probably romanticized your memory too much in those years since you left and I moved, distorting the dope soul I once knew and loved unconditionally into an impossibly perfect idea of you. Before I knew it, I was done with school, left skydiving by the wayside, and trapped myself with someone who reminded me of you. Someone who sparked something in me for just a moment, and gave me hope again. I chased her hoping it would come back, but it didn’t. I don’t know why I settled. Maybe after the exhaustion of sleepless years I just wanted to take the easy way out, and be done with the chase. Maybe I didn’t feel like I deserved you, and I gave up before really even trying. I hate myself for that. I feel like a masochist torturing himself because he just doesn’t know better, or perhaps because he thinks the pain and despair will make him stronger. Well, it hasn’t. I’m weak. Broken. A shell of the man I used to be. I was once able to smile, genuinely. Now, it’s like I’ve lost the muscle memory to smile or laugh. I look back at pictures of myself before I moved to this fiery hell, and that man is unrecognizable. You can see the hope that was once in my eyes, the youth in my face, the ambition and energy. Its all gone now. 

Its not fair. 

I tried to move on. I spent hours reading, occupying my mind with something else. I’ve read hundreds of books just trying to think about you less. But some days, I just can’t help myself but to look you up and see how you’re doing. I always regret it. It pushes me back into that deep depressive state where I just can’t do anything anymore. It breaks me nearly every time. Your engagement broke me. Your wedding broke me. You look so happy with him, and that alone is maybe the only thing that keeps me alive, albeit hanging on by a thread. 

I tried to focus on the future, and not dwell on the past. I tried to fully engross myself in my relationship, my work, my hobbies, to find some source of happiness outside of you and your memory. Finally, one such source came. I was going to have a daughter. A new love of my life. Someone who maybe could finally make me happy again, give me a sense of purpose, of hope, ambition, the energy to get out of bed in the morning. 

Its not fair. 

She died. The only thread of hope I had, the first taste of feeling anything real since you left. Gone. I thought I had known pain and depression before, but this cut through me like an icy blade. And it just kept cutting. I saw her, I held her lifeless body in my hands, her precious form only the size of my palm. It killed me. I remembered you. You had once told me you always had a feeling you could never physically have children. They say that God has an ironic sense of humor, but I don’t find this humorous at all. With some sick twist of fate, it was not you, but I, who could not beget. Months of pain and anguish went by, as I slipped deeper into my state of peril.

I’m 25 now. This was a hard birthday this past weekend. I couldn’t stop thinking about you and how over and above you always went with gifts and birthdays. I also couldn't stop thinking about how the only thing I wanted was my daughter back. I had some sick day dream that maybe you both would come back to me, the best birthday gift possible. I fought it. I pushed hard against the thoughts that crept into the dark corners of my mind, the thoughts of us. I wanted the pain to just end. I fought against it for a few nights, until last night. Yet another sleepless night filled with memories, flashes, flooding into my closed eyes and keeping me restless. Irrationally I thought “Maybe if I could just see her face, it would hurt a little less.” I was wrong. 

Its not fair.

You have a daughter of your own on the way. Due nearly the same time as mine was, in the Fall. We always loved Autumn. The leaves, the air, the color, the fading daylight and cool breeze. It always reminds me of you, and our naïve “Something Day.” I’ll never forget we chose our favorite month, October, and our favorite number, 4, that we just happened to have in common. Its a painful day every year. Its not fair. Why does my daughter get taken from me the same time you’re given one? Why does everything I love get taken from me? Why am I not deserving of the life I wanted? What did I do to deserve this life of consistent pain and inadequacy? I hate it. I want out. I don’t know how much longer I can live with this pain. A scene from one of our darker days plays on repeat in my mind. You wanted to meet near the library to talk. It was late in the summer, the middle of monsoon season. In typical monsoon fashion, there were clouds all around us, thundering and flashing with lightning, though immediately above us a hole penetrated the clouds, allowing the sun to shine through on us. It seems like a scene from a novel, the weather meant to foreshadow what was about to happen in my heart. You looked more broken than I had ever seen you, with your eyes downcast and wrists bloody. That sight alone shattered my heart. You told me all your friends, the people that made you happy, hated that we were together. It was your last year of high school, I would’ve hated myself if you were miserable at school your entire senior year, all because of me. You said you couldn’t do it anymore, and that we needed to break up. It might not have been our last break up, but it was the most painful. Perhaps it was all amplified by the scenery and my young, dramatic, broken heart. We parted and I sat in my car there at the library for hours, sobbing uncontrollably and praying to God asking why. The storm that was raging around us quickly descended upon me, and upon my heart, ripping a hole through the middle of it like the hole of sun that was above us. Before I knew it my tears were one with the downpour that was all around me. 

That scene is all I can think about now. The storm is so vivid, I could paint it with the minutest detail. A new hole has been rent through my scarred heart and left there by my departed daughter, reminding me of the hole that was first left there 7 years ago by you, and which has been repeatedly reopened and scarred over since. I’ve tried to heal, but I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel true happiness again. I don’t know if I’ll ever find true passion again, like I had with you. I don’t know if I’ll ever know true hope again, like when my daughter was alive. Its not fair. You’ve moved on. You’re happy with him. You’re creating a beautiful family with a new daughter. Here I am, stuck in the past, unable to let go of the storm you left in my heart. 

Its just not fair. 

[marlahey]

@rochey1010​ going back and forth in long-winded replies seems like unnecessary effort for both of us so I hope you don’t mind another text post as I fully articulate my thoughts. as I’ve said before, you’re obviously entitled to your own opinions, but you’ve now seemed to make a lot of assumptions about me a fan/viewer/general consumer of media that I feel like I should clear up. you’ve also made some further claims about the show I’d like to pick up for discussion. If you want to speak further please feel free to respond but of course don’t feel obligated. This’ll be the last public post/reply I make and we can go back to ignoring each other in the tags!

Well i love Eliott/Lola's friendship and i have an upcoming post on that as i said in other posts. I love lola too but i'm sorry i didn't just start watching this show because lola was invented and there's a w/w love story. I've been here for seasons and carried over from OG. I have investment in eliott for personal reasons (mental health) and elu because duh. Their stories have been long running too as i said. And you don't have to be a main to set up a plot/arc. The things between them have been set up since S3 with minute par minute talk, S4 and Idriss, S5 and the cheating perspective, and now S6 and Lola friendship. That is intentional. Do you think it's a coincidence that Lucas talked about pansexuality and eliott having more choice in S5 and suddenly Eliott has a friendship with a girl. That lucas abandonment issues haven't been resolved and are now coming to the forefront because of this friendship? That max has stated that Eliott feels he can save someone from a darkness he himself went through, that eliott himself was sorta saved from the shadows by Lucas. That neils/david specifically stated that this character can help someone even though he has bipolar disorder. That with Eliott's arc there is a focus on his SKAM. That we now have new info about it serving the season. If you understand writing. These things aren't put there for fun. They are there to imply/hint/foreshadow events actions to come. That there is a character now on the show with Lola basically female eliott. Do you think these are all coincidences. This plot we are seeing has slowly been set up not just since S3 but actually heavily developed starting in S5. And that if you now go back and watch S5 you see our main players being set up for this plot e.g  dasille relationship, daphne's ED, Eliott and his individuality, Elu trust/insecurity issues, Eliott's art and it tying into seasonal themes, Lola herself and her outlier persona etc. I don't know whether you are but there are many fans have migrated over from espana just for this season. But you have to understand there is a long term fanbase here that love Eliott, are invested in him and have been waiting for more of his insight. We are now getting that and we will talk about him. He's a hugely popular character as is Lucas and their love. I love both and i will talk about both. Sometimes i won't talk much About lola and talk more about eliott, sometimes i'll connect them and discuss their relationship, sometimes i'll make a post about just about lola, daphne, tiff, benny, movie references as i have. But this is my blog and i'll post what i want to post. You don't have to read any of this stuff. The tag is a big place, just scroll by. As for the theories- just theories. And in my theories i believe these characters are going to make mistakes, fail and grow e.g. lola self Destructing again but being her own hero by the end, eliott and lola being dragged down like lucas said but showing the strength of their friendship by the end, lucas being proven right but also proven wrong by the end. Like i said specific dialogue now being used is not just there to fill the script e.g. "and i have lucas. I can't lose this" "i think one of you may bring the other down" and eliott is heading for a rock bottom as is lola. Again just my thoughts. 👍

While I find it odd that you seem to be gatekeeping the skam france fan community, to be clear I have seen the entirety of three iterations: og, france, and austin. I believe I started OG during s2 or 3, and have seen Fr and Aus from the beginning. I’m not as interested in other versions as I’m very familiar with the plots/characters by now. I’m partial to france as a bilingual canadian as it’s nice to exercise that part of my brain; I’ve also studied/lived there briefly and have some very close friends from france so that amplifies my enjoyment. I’m also bisexual, so I also find this ‘only here for lola + w/w’ when you yourself admit to being emotionally invested in the show’s most dominant queer ship dichotomy very awkward.  to be honest, I think many skam’s fandoms tend to fixate on the esak ship and their season. friends have seen other iterations and confirmed this for me. it happened with elu as expected so I was really unsurprised when maya was introduced and fandom immediately put a lot of their investment into shipping two characters of the same gender. nearly every fandom in general does this: teen wolf, glee, supernatural to name a few – even harry potter. I’m not really a fan of the romantic subplot in lola’s season. she is not elliot 2.0 for so many reasons; she’s her own person and she doesn’t need a romantic partner to be a compelling character with a compelling story. that being said, I liked elu’s season. I particularly love maxence’s elliot; he’s my favourite even. I was thrilled to see him onscreen however briefly after S3 every time he appeared. now he’s finally his own person outside of his relationship with lucas and I couldn’t be more pleased to see that.  I’m not sure how idriss and elliot reconnecting after the attempted kiss falling out plays into lucas’ insecurity or their relationship. it’s perhaps a reminder of his bipolar disorder or the fact that he clearly had friends/relationships before lucas, but I’m not sure how it’s relevant to the season at hand. the biphobia discussion with arthur preceeding lola’s introduction as the new main is not proof that lucas’ supposed abandonment issues are founded in any way, or that he even still has them when we meet her. by insisting on it, you’re perpetuating the harmful idea that any bi or pan person will be tempted to cheat or leave (physically or emotionally) when presented with literally any person whose gender opposes their current partner. this is something that skam fr had literally left unaddressed for so long even with representation in alexia and elliot, and I was so thrilled when it finally came up. it’s very uncomfortable that you’re now using that important conversation as apparent proof that lucas will be abandoned or betrayed, inadvertently or not, by his pansexual boyfriend. I know that daphné was meant to be s6′s main and skam fr wasn’t given the rights by og’s creator. so it makes sense that she/her relationship/struggles feature heavily in her sister’s season. I’m personally thrilled cause I love her and lula is a wonderful actress. that being said, not everything is foreshadowing. not every single interaction or conversation will return to further plot or character. sometimes storylines are just resolved or dropped and awareness raised is just awareness raised. sometimes it’s wonderful and sometimes less so. I understand writing. I’m saying this as a literal former english teacher (ignoring capitalization for aesthetic lol) and assistant in film/tv post-production with an MA in media studies. “Lucas, you have nothing to worry about, it’s not like that between us.” “I know, he explained it to me.”  I’m not sure how much clearer the literal show can be about this issue. spoiler or not, it’s been made abundantly clear that lola and elliot are not romantically involved. even more importantly and I’ve said this on my blog before, you’re allowed to have intimacy with someone without forcing it into a defined familial or romantic relationship. it doesn’t mean that someone’s partner should necessarily feel threatened or abandoned and says a lot more about that person’s insecurity than either individual in the friendship. we’ve also already discussed how much I dislike this turn for lucas’ character as elliot’s apparent MH saviour so it’s not worth repeating again. as for elliot saving lola, well he literally did that already. I’m not sure what you mean by lucas ‘being proven right and proven wrong’ by the end, but you’re obviously adamant that something will happen. I have also seen maxence’s interview a few times. I’ll not argue with the ‘lucas saved elliot from that shadow’ because it literally came from the actor’s mouth, but maxence doesn’t say he can save anyone else from their struggles, but help them and I think that’s a really important distinction. this whole saving idea doesn’t seem healthy at all, especially as lola and elliot grapple with their mental health. it seems like people want to see a ‘rock bottom’ (whatever that means) for them both and it makes me a little uncomfortable. addiction and MH struggles should not have to reach a breaking point in order to be considered resolved or cathartic; they don’t even have to be resolved, because they’re not a plot device. they’re a reality for so many people. the show does a good job of not romanticizing them but some of the things I see in the tag are just... yikes.  as for his ‘dark’ side and the less than happy elu moments, I’d argue that maxence may have meant literally punching out what’s his face to save lola and the subsequent argument(s) with lucas, since that interview came out just before ep 4. but there’s still several eps to go so I could be totally wrong. who knows. it’s your right to theorize on your own blog of course and it’s not my intention to be mean. I’m just trying to further the discourse in a respectful way. I do feel that you may put a little too much stock in what’s literally said/seen and assuming a lot in the unseen gaps, rather than considering a broader context. to wrap up though, lucas is free to have this (however hurtful) fear, just as you’re free to believe it’ll for sure come to pass.  I dread seeing either lola or elliot spiral out, but as 2020 has taught me, I very rarely get what I want lol. thank you @cakepleasee for helping me sort out my thoughts!

[donaldresslerfanfic]

Rating: M

Warnings: Strong Language, Sexual Content.

Word Count: 3266

Donald Ressler X OC Maggie Waters.

Chapter: Eighty-Five

Chapter Index

Story on Wattpad

Ressler.

I felt as if my world was falling appart little by little. Maybe not so dramatically, but a lot of the things I used to believe suddenly weren't real, Reddington wasn't Reddington, and Reddington wasn't a traitor. Two of the things that defined the beginning of my career in the FBI were no longer the things that defined me.

I felt as if the whole idea of Agent Ressler wasn't necessary. The one reason I was here, being the Commander in Chief for Reddington's case, was no more. There was no Reddington.

I'd let it slip after the briefing of a case that I knew Reddington was an imposter by doubting everything he did, and after the persuit of a tape recording, I got to hear in first row how Reddington had been framed.

I'd been called in as a witness for his trial to explain the Intel I had that made us reach the conclusion that he was a spy and had betrayed us. I attempted to not perjure myself, I really tried, but Liz needed answers. And so did I.

Reddington must've caught up on my attempt, and he asked me why I'd hesitated.

After hearing the tape, I felt half relieved that he was going to be taken out of the death penalty, the jury was going to rule to his favor, I knew that.

James had giving me a call earlier in the week, saying he was going to buy me a drink to celebrate Reddington's capture, and I thought after the trial would be a good time as any.

That was my first mistake, because when he made the connection of me having to testify for being head point in Reddington's case, he asked me about the trial.

"You know I can't say anything" I said, taking my beer bottle and giving him a side look.

"I know you can't. But you can not say it." I gave him a frown and shook my head.

"That's a bad idea"

"You can pat me down, I'm not wearing a wire" he said patting his chest.

"It's not because of that" I dismissed him.

"Why was the trial suddenly closed? It was supposed to be aired"

"Of that I actually have no idea" I said convincingly lying. I knew why the trial had been closed, it was for the immunity agreement and the current deal with the FBI and our taskforce. "Believe me, I was the first one eager to be there for the whole thing. I was very angry when it got shut down"

"But you got to see a little bit of it, you got called to testify"

"Yes" i said with a nod.

"And?"

"I testified" I nodded again. He gave me a chuckle and a shake of his head.

"You're seriously not going to say anything"

"I seriously am, I don't want to go to jail, my daughter's second birthday is in a few weeks"

"Oh yeah" he said in realization. I knew Maggie had invited him. "Still have to buy her something. You can give me a hint about that" he said with a chuckle.

"Give her something with a penguin on it, she'll love it"

"She likes penguins?"

"Yeah, it's somehow her favorite animal"

My eyes diverted to the TV on the wall, Reddington's face was on the screen and in the breaking news segment of every news channel. And of course, they talked about the lastest development, the non-guilty sentence on his traitor count.

James' flashed me a twist of eyebrows and a shake of his head.

"Son of a bitch did it. Unbelievable" he took a sip of his beer, finishing it and motioning at the bartender to give him another on. "How could he honestly?"

"It's not like he had a tape recording of him saying he didn't do it" I said.

"Haha, imagine" he chuckled. It took him a while to actually realize that I'd told him the key piece of evidence that was presented. He gave me a bewildered look, frowning in confusion.

"That's...." He scoffed "that's not possible. Not to sway the ruling like that. It can be that exculpatory"

I shrugged and finished my beer, fishing my phone out of my pocket. I looked at the screen, Maggie's face filling the screen.

"I have to go, but I'll see you in the birthday" I said patting James' back and heading out, picking up the call as I exited the bar. "Maggie" I saluted.

"Hey, are you on your way home?"

"Yeah, I just finished here"

"Good, because I kind of need some help" she said with a tired sigh.

"On my way" I said, then hung up.

Mags was definitely busier than me, she was working on a project all by herself, because it was that important, and the rest of the projects were left on hold. Her routine quickly went back to her being at her office at the house with a lot of blueprints, books she was reading for research, calls at all times, drawings, samples, boxes on top of boxes of materials. She couldn't necessarily tell me what she was working on, but it seemed important.

On top of her work, she'd been planning things for Alma's birthday, and now that she was older she put her two cents in every decision.

I arrived at the house and went straight to the office were Mags was walking around the room with the phone to her ear, whilst I waited for her to finish I changed out of my suit, and she found me when I was finishing with my shirt.

"Hey, I need you to pick up some things from the woman that's got the souvenirs for me, and be careful because it's like a-" she made a motion with her hand "it's glass, so be careful"

Maggie definitely didn't look like herself, she was as hectic as when she was with the casino project.

"Right" I nodded.

"And there's some samples I need to pick up from some other place if you could pick that one up, that would help"

"Okay" I nodded again.

"And I love the kid to death but if you could take her and just-" she sighed "I need peace for like two hours."

"Okay love, whatever you need"

"Thank you" she said with a sigh, then exited the room, I followed and looked for Alma on the way, she was in her bedroom, making a mess out of her toys.

"Hey" I called, she turned around and gave me a sheepish smile "let's get changed, we're going out"

She squealed in excitement, and headed to the drawer to pick something to wear. Honestly she had a better sense of style that Maggie and I combined, so I just let her pick a dress because we were in the dead of summer, and helped her with some sandals.

"Alright, let's go" I said pulling her on her feet and motioning at the door.

"I'm saying bye to mommy" she yelled as she ran out of the room, I walked behind her and watched her barge into the office, then began a string of 'mommies' until Maggie paid attention to her. I reached the door office and saw Maggie bend over and cover her phone with her hand.

"Yes, what" she asked

"Bye" Alma replied.

"Bye love" she kissed her forehead and looked up at me.

"Give daddy a kiss" she said pointing back at me.

"No, Alma let's let Mom work" she threw her head back and I walked to her, picking her up in my arms, she began complaining and Maggie complied kissing me quickly.

"There, now go, have fun" she said motioning at the door.

"Bye" Alma said waving her hand as I walked out of the room, closing the door behind me.

I didn't know why Alma always made Maggie kiss me, at first she was very jealous of me and would want Mags as far away as possible, but now she was all about the romanticism. I strapped her in the car seat and rolled out to the city. Mags had sent me the addresses of the things I needed to pick up, and after I did that in maybe half an hour, I took Alma to the mall and the kid's playground for a while.

Somehow even after I did all that and took Alma to the playground and made her play in every single one of the games, we still had one hour to go, and even though I wanted to give her more time to finish with her work, there was so much I could do with the kid.

We walked around the mall, I bought her another book, I bought her some candy, then she sadly saw the toy store and we lost a good half an hour there. I always bought her something if we were out, but she had so many toys that she honestly didn't need any more. Maggie donated often the ones she didn't get to use or the ones that she was too old to play with, and even then she had way too many. I think we could've gone to three vacations with the money we spent on things for the baby.

I quickly reminded myself of our last vacations, and it felt as if we'd just gone to Miami a few weeks ago, work had consumed my time in ways inimaginable.

At one point we were walking down the mall towards the parking lot, I had a watchful eye on Alma because she didn't feel like behind carried, and someone bent over next to her with an enthusiastic cheer. I looked closely to see one of Mag's friends, one of the many, saying hi to Alma. She looked up at me with a smile.

"Hi Don" she saluted, then looked back at Alma "hi princess, how are you?"

"Fine" she replied. She awed at her and leaned in to cup her cheeks and kiss her in the forehead.

"Just saw you guys and came to say hi" she said finally standing up and giving us both a look "say hi to Maggie for me"

"Will do, bye Crystal" I saluted, seeing Alma walk around her and take off. After a bit of walking and almost reaching the parking lot I pulled Alma up, because I didn't want her run around with cars nearby.

"Who's Maggie?" She asked out of nowhere as I reached the car and unlocked it.

"What do you mean who's Maggie?" I opened the door and sat her down at the car seat. "Maggie is your mom" I explained.

"Nah-ah" she said shaking her head. That type of denial she'd gotten it from Nathan in the off times they were together, even though he was like 8 years old now.

"Ye-ah" I said imitating her tone.

"Nah-ah" she said, now more angry, she had an incredible temper for a two year old.

"Yeah, that's her name"

"She's mommy"

"Nah-ah" I said, with a chuckle. I finished with her seatbelt and got into the car, hearing the beginning of a fit. Alma's fits were mostly just fake crying with her head thrown back and staying still until someone came to try and calm her down. She wasn't the type to trash around and scream at the top of her lungs, at least not for now.

I gave in to the joke after she cried all the way out of the parking lot, and she  usually forgot what she was crying about when we got moving and she got distracted looking outside, but I wasn't about to get yelled at by Mags for making the baby cry on purpose, so I just told her okay, that she was right, and she instantly stopped crying.

I turned on the radio to some music and saw her move after a while to the songs, and she continued until we reached the house.

Alma instantly dashed in, probably to tell on me to Mags, and I busied myself taking out the things from the trunk.

"Hey" I heard Mags from the garage door as I took the box with her samples and placed it at my feet "what's with you making her mad?" She asked, I lifted my eyes to her holding Alma on her arms. Mags was just following along, and Alma looked at me, kind of ducking my gaze for making Maggie scold me.

"I'm sorry" I said.

"I'm going to put you on time out, don't make the baby cry" she said, giving me a wink.

"Okay, I'll stop making her mad"

Maggie looked down at Alma, and she hugged herself to Mag's neck, landing her cheek on her shoulder.

"Are those my samples?" She asked. I closed the trunk and took the box again.

"Yes love"

"Nice" she said giving it a quick inspection "can you put it in my office please, I'll check it now before I make dinner" she said walking out of the garage, I followed and talked with her as we reached the office.

"I can take care of that if you'd like" I offered. Mags looked back at me and motioned at the floor. I heard her phone go off just as I was setting the box down, she picked it up and got right back to it.

I was kind of unnerved when I saw a video playing on her computer, and as  she took a piece of tile that she was supposed to match with the one in the video, the camera panned up and focused on the face of a man that I recognized.

He wasn't a particular big deal but I knew for a fact that he was in the list of people that James and the taskforce I used to work on was after.

I didn't know how to react, I couldn't step in to help, and couldn't step in to tell Maggie not to help. I just wished that she wasn't the kind of professional people turned to for an opinion or work.

I wasn't paying attention to the conversation because I knew that would confirm what I suspected. She hung up and patted Alma on her back, she didn't look like she was going anywhere, and Mags had her on arms as she finished with some details.

"I'll take your offer on dinner" she said pressing play on the video again.

"Roger" I said, turning around and walking out of the room.

Making dinner was easy during the summer, and I got that ready in half an hour. Mags finally made it out of the cave and sat Alma on the high chair of the dining room, then walking a few steps to the kitchen to help.

"Are you done?" I said, trying to sound casual.

"Yeah, at least for what I can do today" she said taking a few plates from the cupboard.

I followed with the food as she finished with the glasses and the other things, then gave me a funny look as I served her.

"Okay, Gordon Ramsey" she said, inspecting the plate "any other hidden talents I should know about?"

"There's many, but I like to keep it interesting" she chuckled, then sat at the table. To be fair, cooking was just following instructions, it wasn't hard to cook something watching a ten minute video on YouTube.

I spent a few minutes looking at Mags sort food for Alma, thankfully she was not picky about the food, she ate just about everything, then she looked at me,  checking that I hadn't served myself anything.

"You're not eating?" She asked, getting to her plate.

"No" I said, she frowned and gave me another look.

"Why?"

"I'm not in the mood" I dismissed. She pouted, then moved her chair to sit closer to me, being a little restricted by the corner of the table.

"Are you okay?" She said placing her hand on my temple.

"Yeah, I guess" I shook my head and took her hand in mine, watching her reluctantly start eating. "I'm just... Disappointed I guess. I mean, first Reddington is not Reddington and now he's not even a traitor. That's the two things that defined my job and basically my career path and now... It doesn't even matter."

"It's not like it doesn't matter" she said, giving my hand a squeeze. "I'm sure you'll get to the bottom of it"

"I can try" I said with a chuckle. "Don't know how far I'm going to get, being about Reddington"

"I think you'll get far enough" she assured.

"You have a lot of faith in me"

"One of us has to" I looked at her with a smile, then leaned to kiss her hand.

This woman was just so damn precious to me.

"I'd like you to be careful" I said before she finished with dinner.

"I'd like you to not spy on me" she said with a chuckle, knowing that I had seen what she was working on. "I also-" she said standing up and walking up to where I was sitting, she threw her leg over my lap and straddled me. "Would like a back massage" She rounded my neck with her arms, and I quietly placed my hand on her waist. "I've been working hard"

"I guess I can do that. I've been your slave all day" I jokingly complained, she opened her mouth in a surprised gesture.

"I thought you would enjoy giving me a back massage"

"Oh, so it's a favor to me then?"

"Yeah" she said with a chuckle, I laughed with her and hugged her by the waist, I pulled her in and kissed her on her neck, hugging her fully. I felt her caress on the back of my ear, and honestly it was my favorite spot. I gave a comfort sigh  and placed my chin on her shoulder. When my eyes landed on Alma I chuckled, she was passed out on the high chair.

Mags pulled back and looked behind her, she laughed as well, standing up from my lap and heading to her she carefully moved the tray forward and pulled Alma up, she was startled at first but Mags shushed her and held her to her chest, patting her on the back.

I cleaned up the table and filled the dishwasher, finding Mags cutting the corner just as I was leaving the kitchen. Mags quietly checked that everything was set, then turned off the lights and we both walked towards the bedroom.

"Why did you make Alma mad?" She asked out of nowhere as I was moving my thumbs on both sides of her neck along the spine.

"She found out that your real name isn't 'mommy'"

She chuckled and turned her body to me, rubbing her neck. She placed her hand on my thigh and patted it.

"Are you okay?" I nodded with my head "you don't need anything?".

"I'm good love".

She gave me a tight lipped smile and moved to lay on the bed, covering herself with just a sheet.

"I have the next few days off to help you with the birthday if you want" I said, laying on the bed myself.

"That would be nice" she said with a sigh, I gave her a quick look, she had her eyes closed and was hugging a little pillow.

I didn't sleep much that night. Reddington may have won this battle, but I wasn't so sure he was going to win this war.

[harris-coopers]

‘Riverdale’ heartthrob Cole Sprouse goes for leading man status in ‘Five Feet Apart’

When Cole Sprouse left Hollywood, he didn’t think he’d ever come back. He was 18, and he’d been acting alongside his identical twin brother since they were in diapers. The choice to work as a kid had not been his own: His single mother wanted to be around for the boys and have a steady career, and putting her twins in the entertainment industry seemed like a “lucrative alternative,” he says now.

But then Sprouse and his brother, Dylan, landed their own Disney Channel show, “The Suite Life of Zack & Cody.” By 13 they’d signed a licensing agreement with Dualstar Entertainment Group, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s company, to develop their own quarterly lifestyle magazine, ringtones and cologne. They were full-blown teen heartthrobs.

And yet when it came time to apply for college, the twins decided — unlike fellow Disney stars Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez or the Jonas Brothers — that they wanted to pursue higher education and enrolled at NYU.

“My brother and I were getting recognized a lot. It became one of those things that we realized we had just sort of taken as gospel since we were little kids, and that there was another path through life,” Sprouse, now 26, recalls. “I was completely content, at the time, to let the Disney shows exist within this little nostalgic bubble and I was ready to move on.”

But somehow here he is now, sitting on the balcony of a ritzy hotel smoking Marlboros, promoting his first leading role in a movie, “Five Feet Apart.” And the film, a romantic drama about two young lovers with cystic fibrosis, is not the only project he’s taken on since graduating with honors from NYU in 2015. For the past two years he’s starred as Jughead on the CW series “Riverdale,” a teen drama based on the Archie comics.

The program, which has already been renewed for a fourth season, has reignited Sprouse’s popularity. On Instagram, he has nearly 24 million followers, many of whom are obsessed with tracking his real-life relationship with his on-screen love interest, Lili Reinhart.

“Riverdale” also rekindled Sprouse’s love for acting. During college he did none of it, opting to study something completely different: archaeology, geographic information systems and satellite imaging. He became interested in the field because his grandfather was a geologist and “it seemed like an academic discipline that was really competitive and challenging. I fancied testing if I could do something like that.”

He traveled to Germany, France and Bulgaria for excavations, and on one dig, after spending six weeks hunched over a 1-by-1-foot trench of dirt with a toothpick, he pulled a 35,000-year-old Aurignacian stone blade out of the ground. Following graduation, he began working in cultural resource management as an archaeological assistant in a Brooklyn artifact laboratory. He was thinking about going into academia: studying at graduate school, researching a specific time period or peoples and becoming a professor.

But then he heard from his acting manager, who, per Sprouse’s request, had left him alone during his four years at NYU.

“He asked me to come back for a single pilot season. I was on this path, but I said ‘OK, if I don’t book anything, I don’t think I want to do acting anymore,’” he says. He did book something — “Riverdale” — and soon began to realize it wasn’t acting itself he had an issue with.

“From a very young age, the industry had been defined as a business,” he continues, “and it took me going away to school for a while and redefining that to find [performing] as a passion again.”

On “Riverdale,” Sprouse’s Jughead is a something of an outsider — an artsy writer with a signature beanie and leather jacket. Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, the show’s creator, initially thought the actor might be a better fit for Archie, the lovable jock. But after reading the pilot script, Sprouse expressed interest in Jughead — even though the character only had one scene in the episode.

“It was already kind of a sign that he viewed himself differently,” says the showrunner. “I think Cole is an old soul. He’s done a lot, and he’s seen a lot, and I think that gives him a little bit of wisdom that other actors his age might not have. When he smiles, he looks like a true 15-year-old kid. But when he furrows his brow, he looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.”

When it came to tackling his first adult movie part — he and his brother were in Adam Sandler’s “Big Daddy” as boys — Sprouse didn’t want to stray too far outside of his comfort zone. Recognizing the persona he’d established on “Riverdale,” he chose to play a similar archetype in “Five Feet Apart”: Will, a brooding teenager whose rebellious spirit attracts his romantic interest, played by Haley Lu Richardson of “Split” and “Support the Girls.”

“This role was interesting in a larger business sense, because a return to film also meant a question of how much of [the ‘Riverdale’] audience would turn out,” says Sprouse. “I didn’t want it to feel so incredibly distinct.”

The CBS Films production, out Friday, follows two CF patients as they fall in love but are unable to physically touch due to risk of cross infection. Cystic fibrosis is a genetic, progressive disease that affects lung function, making it difficult to breathe; the average life expectancy for the 30,000 afflicted in the U.S. is 37.5 years.

Justin Baldoni, who makes his directorial debut on “Five Feet Apart,” is also an actor on a CW series: “Jane the Virgin.” But he and Sprouse never crossed paths at network affairs. Instead, Baldoni began thinking of him for the role after catching some of his interviews on morning talk shows.

“Cole’s a great actor, but I was actually more interested in who he was off-screen,” explains Baldoni. “Cole had to grow up a lot faster than the normal kid. He was surrounded by adults: directors and producers and writers and people that were basically employing him. … When you grow up with cystic fibrosis, you grow up with doctors and nurses. Those are your friends. You learn medical terminology. You have to understand regimens and taking care of yourself in a way that regular kids don’t. You’re forced to grow up a lot faster. So there was an interesting parallel between Cole’s life and Will’s life.”

Baldoni came to “Five Feet Apart” having steeped himself in the world of CF. He had the idea for the film while working on a web series about those with terminal illnesses, “My Last Days.” One of the episodes focused on an 18-year-old girl named Claire Wineland, a CF patient whom Baldoni became so close to that he ultimately hired her to serve as a consultant on “Five Feet Apart.”

Sprouse spent a lot of time with Wineland, who died last September three months after filming was completed, talking about how CF affects both the mind and the body, including how the disease makes it difficult to gain or maintain weight. Together, he says, they came to the conclusion that it would be “a really powerful choice to embody that physicality,” and so with the aid of a nutritionist, Sprouse lost 25 pounds over the course of five weeks.

Sprouse initially told Baldoni he was somewhat hesitant to sign onto “Five Feet Apart” because he knows the scrutiny that films in this genre — “The Fault in Our Stars,” “A Walk to Remember,” “Me Before You” — can face for romanticizing illness.

“But I’m a believer that even if it might feel like the volume is a little bit too high within that genre, it still serves as an amazing platform to discuss something like cystic fibrosis,” says Sprouse. “And the star-crossed lover narrative — this is something that has existed before Shakespeare to Ovid and Pyramus and Thisbe. It’s part of our cultural memory bank. It’s one of those motifs that we just understand so well.”

Sprouse, who has the kind of poster-boy mane that’s perfect for brushing out of his eyes, frequently peppers his speech with these kind of literary references. He and his brother were the first ones on their father’s side of the family to go to college, which is “positive upward momentum” he’s proud of. Someday he hopes to spark a larger conversation about the California High School Proficiency Examination, a test that many young actors take at 16 so they can receive the legal equivalent of a high school diploma and no longer be considered minors.

“It basically cripples young academics who are working children from feeling capable to take the SAT and the ACT,” Sprouse says. “So many of us don’t go to college because our skill sets are not defined enough to be able to take those tests that would eventually allow us to apply. And kids are encouraged to do it because if you’re 18, you can work more hours and hypothetically make more money — and also because as a kid, you always want to sit back in your high chair and go ‘Yeah, I’m an adult.’”

On set, his collaborators have come to value his intelligence. Aguirre-Sacasa says that Sprouse “does a ton of work” on the “Riverdale” scripts, asking questions about the scenes and offering different points of view.

“A lot of times our episodes are homages to different films,” the executive says. “So Cole asked: ‘Can you send me a list of the movies you’re referencing in any given episode?’ And I’m that exact same way.”

While Sprouse no longer dreams of leading excavations in far-off lands, he’s found another non-acting passion that fulfills the “desire for learning and otherness” that archaeology did: photography. A few years ago, he walked into One World Trade Center in New York wearing a button-up T-shirt and asked the receptionist at Conde Nast Traveler magazine, “Hey, can anyone give me a job?”

He was pointed in the direction of former creative director Yolanda Edwards, who was willing to toss him a few unpaid assignments. Since then he’s landed a handful of high-profile gigs for Elle, W Magazine, Adidas and J Brand. He’s planning to spend the majority of his upcoming hiatus from “Riverdale” working as a fashion photographer.

Sprouse showcases some of his work on his Instagram account, which he admits is “very curated.” He’ll often delete old photos of himself, and he’s careful not to post too many photos of his girlfriend, Reinhart.

“I’ve girded my private life very intentionally,” he says. “It’s one of those things that I still sort of grapple with, and Lili and I grapple with.”

Asked if he thought about how much attention dating his costar might garner, he says he had no choice in the matter: “We legitimately could not stay away from one another.”

Beyond Reinhart, he and his cast mates — who film in Vancouver — are exceptionally close, especially of late, as they grapple with the loss of “Riverdale” costar Luke Perry.

“It’s been very, very hard this week,” he acknowledges, referring to juggling his film press responsibilities with his grief. “But the family has asked us all to keep it as private as possible, and I respect them tremendously through this time, so I continue to do so. We go back tomorrow, and it’ll be nice to be together. We all got together and talked it out a couple days ago, and then they gave us a couple of days off of production to acclimate, which was really wonderful.”

As for his future as an actor, Sprouse says he doesn’t expect to leave Hollywood again any time soon.

“It’s easy to forget, because this industry has so many different sides to it, that the act of acting is an incredibly enjoyable thing,” he says. “It’s a really empowering thing to do and it’s all the stuff on the outside of it — the publicity and the celebrity — which I actually had a problem with.”

Source: LA Times

[hollandsmushroom]

So, I’m an Ashton Girl, and fetus Ash kills me lol so maybe pre 5SOS era? When he still had the highlights and the fringe. Reader is new to school and gets bullied because of her weight. Ash likes her though and he goes out of his way to eat lunch with her and help her find all her classes and they sit together out on the quad during their free periods and just fluffy cute until he builds up the nerve to make a move?

Sorry this took a while, I had something really emotionally difficult happen to me in the middle of writing this, I am also sorry that its not the exact thing that you wanted and that it’s not that well written, anyhoodle, lots of love. 

Also Quick Reminder: Y’all, people can say hurtful things and the reason they say them is because they are unhappy with who they are, it has absolutely no reflection of who you are!!! Some comments used throughout this are things that have been said to me so they are not made up to romanticize bullying.

No one likes being the new kid, well, no sane person at least, and this is one instance where you could be considered mostly sane(okay, sorry, that was a joke, no shade). You hated being the new kid and you knew this having been the new kid a few times before. You were always targeted for your weight because kids find joy in tearing each other down, you had hoped that this school would be different, spending the night before your first day in your room trying to find something inconspicuous to wear, something that wouldn’t draw attention. As soon as you walked through the doors of Richmond High School you could tell that it was going to be just like any other school you had attended, that with little time passing you would be called out for the ways your thighs touched. You knew that it wouldn’t be long but you didn’t expect it to be within your first day, usually it takes people a coupled days to get over the whole “new girl” thing and begin mocking you, but no, not Richmond High, they got over the curiosity of a new girl with in seconds of seeing you, they didn’t even know your name before they started tearing in,

“Hey, hey, new girl, why are you so fat?” a boy, who you could tell always acted like he knew everything, yelled at you from his group of friends, leaning against the lockers with his arms crossed. You tucked your head down, pretending that you hadn’t heard him, picking up your walking speed before you realized you had no clue where you were supposed to be going, you held you schedule tight in your hands, the paper crumpled at the edges from your grip. You were distracted, trying to rid the echoes of the boys words from your head and find your class. Hurrying though the halls you ran into the chest of a purple shirted boy with a toothy grin and a blonde fringe that rivaled any other fringe you had seen.

“Wow, hey, you okay,” the boy spoke, his voice still not having dropped entirely, you didn’t know how to respond, he looked kind and goofy and like he shouldn’t be talking to the new girl who just got called out for being bigger than the people around her.

“Uhm, yea, yea, I am just looking for m-my class,” you stumbled over your

“Let me help you,” he immediately offered, he smiled kindly at you “Here, let me see your schedule,” he extended his hand for you to place your schedule in, you did as he asked, handing him the crumpled information. “Hey we have the same classes for 1st, 3rd, and 6th, the other ones I can walk you to if you’d like?”

“That would be lovely, but, um can I know your name before you become my escort,” you blushed, looking into his eyes

“Oh, yeah, I Ashton Irwin, and you are?”

“I am Y/n,” you giggled slightly, he seemed much more grown up than anyone you had seen at the school so far

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/n,” he reached out his hand for you to shake

“Same goes for you,” taking his hand in yours

The warning bell rung through the halls and without warning Ashton began pulling you along the hall

“Come on, we’ll be late for class” he spoke as he kept pulling you to you shared class.

You reached the classroom with seconds to spare, you assumed that once you reached the sanctuary of the classroom that Ashton would drop your hand but he didn’t, he clung to your hand pulling you to the back of the class room, making you sit in the seat next to him. He dropped your hand as class began, you were called to the front of introduce yourself, to scared to look up see anyone else in your class you looked at the only person in the school that had been kind to you, Ashton and he met your gaze happily.

You followed everyone out of the room as class ended, you found the highlighted fringed boy that you had met earlier that day, he was waiting for you it appeared, and you were correct.

That is how it went on he would meet you after class and walk you to your next class, and it wasn’t just for the first few days, he continued to do it long after you had learned where your classes were. On the first day, during lunch break you ate with Ashton, and thats how things continued for the next couple weeks. He was really your only friend at the school.

Around 2 months into beginning of the school, the boy who had yelled at you on the first day of hadn’t relented in his abuse and you hadn’t shared this burden with anyone else, and you could only hope that Ashton wouldn’t find out, you would be mortified.

You walked into the school, fully expecting the relentless attack on your appearance from cruel locker boy.

“Hey, I have seen you have been hanging out with Irwin lately, hope you don’t believe he’ll ever fall for you, your not the type of person anyone could ever fall in love with, I mean, look at you,” he waved his hand gesturing from head to toe. It was the cruelest thing he had said to you so far, and his words caused your stoic exterior to break, you ran, not any specific place just away from him. You found a place in the alley behind the school where no one ever went, you slid down against the wall your back getting cut by the concrete of the school. Curling into your legs, you buried your face in your knees, your pants becoming wet with tears.

You didn’t know how long you had been there, you only knew that the boys words were still in your head. You heard footsteps approaching you causing you to curl tighter into yourself not wanting to talk to anyone at the moment.

“Y/n…Y/n…Y/n,” a familiar voice called your name, trying to figure out where you had hidden. “Oh my god, there you are,” you heard the same voice repeat and before you could remove your head from your knees you felt arms wrap around you, pulling you in-between their legs. Having become accustomed to the voice, and the scent, and the more affectionate side of Ashton, you curled into his chest, still crying your eyes out, dampening the purple shirt that Ashton loved so much.

You stayed like this for a while, curled into his arms as your breathing became progressively more regular. When you finally pulled away Ashton had a big dark purple spot in the middle of his chest, the fabric having darkened a shade with your tears. He reached a drumstick calloused hand out to wipe the tears from under your eyes.

“Y/n, I heard what they said to you,” he mumbled looking into your blood shot orbs, “ And can I just say, what they said, it’s not true,” having gained further composure you mustered up the power to speak

“W-what do you mean?” you spoke with a broken voice. Without a word he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours with the built up lust of 2 months behind them. He pulled away, but not to far, just far enough so that when he spoke his lips still brushed over yours, his fringe against your forehead as he leaned his head on yours

“I mean that what they said isn’t true, that no one could ever fall in love with you is the biggest falsehood I have ever heard,” he pressed his lips to yours once again before returning to the minimal distance between you two, “I know this because I sure as hell have fallen for you, and I hope you feel the same,”

“Then today’s your lucky day because I do feel the same,”

Tag List——-

@heartbreak-5sos

[aahsoka]

anyways the crux of the problem a lot of us (and just specifically me) have with r*ylo is:

they tend to take Finn’s existing personality traits and plot arcs and give them to Kylo Ren; sometimes erasing Finn as a character entirely, which is rather racist, even if they claim to have no ill intent (you can be unintentionally racist yknow that’s what most racism is). I suspect it’s because Finn has real tangible chemistry with Rey but I’ll avoid getting into that.

romanticizing abuse & non consensual actions. Saying him invading her mind was romantic, or the bridal carry when he abducted her, for example; did y’all ever think it was romantic when Voldemort got inside Harry Potter’s mind? No, because they weren’t a woman and a man you could project heterosexual fantasies on to.

crying that they’re being harassed by people who were mostly just making jokes about not liking the ship and specifically tagging them with the anti tag and censoring the ship and/or character names so they could be easily filtered or wouldn’t show up in the tags at all. Yea harassing people for ships isn’t good, but maybe in general we should act less like we’re more righteous solely because people are angry at us. That’s not how it works. Especially when some people use it as a defense to creating harmful content (like romanticized rape fiction).

that our first Star Wars female Main Jedi protagonist would end up with a character who is both a murderer and an active player in a fascist government. Important to note that he is also a grown man, who is very capable of making informed decisions, and therefore entirely culpable for all of his actions. That she would choose someone like that, who hurt her friends, herself, killed people she cared for, has used textbook abusive manipulative tactics to get her on his side, is scary and not a good romantic story. One movie does not give enough time for him to legitimately redeem himself enough for a romance between them to be appropriate. (I’d say maybe enough for him to be awkwardly on the good side a la the Malfoys at the end of Harry Potter or like a criminal who names names for a more lenient sentence but that’s it).

“reverse anidala” drives me crazy as someone who really enjoys the anidala tragic love story (it’s a little Romeo & Juliet Shakespearean tragedy where you’re inevitably heading towards a bad ending and there’s nothing you can do to escape it, really). When Anakin and Padmé are together, it’s specifically the parts of the saga where Anakin is a hero; where he is trying his best to be a good person and do the right thing. Padmé falls in love with him because he’s genuine, heroic, and a little bit reckless. Once he goes off the deepend; killing children & his friends, actually actively supporting fascism; she’s 100% not on board, quote “you’re breaking my heart”. She was in love with someone & had to leave when they started to hurt others and herself. Even maybe she shouldn’t have gotten on board with it when he killed an entire village of sand people, (but granted, they abducted his mother & he was obviously remorseful immediately afterwards + he’s basically a teenage soldier at this point; not saying it’s not bad, just that this is markedly different from all the times Kylo Ren has committed murder) but I also think the way the anidala love story concludes drives home that their relationship probably wasn’t the best idea anyways. Another popular comparison is Pride & Prejudice. Mr. Darcy may have been rude to Elizabeth and may have made mistakes that affected her family, but none of the things he did were as serious as Literal Murder or Abduction. Once he realized how he had misjudged the situation he immediately apologized and made big strides to make up for his mistakes. Elizabeth comes to realize she also misjudged him, that he was only trying to look out for those he loved just as she was looking out for the people she cared about. I have no idea how in the world that is anything like the relationship Kylo Ren and Rey have except for that it’s two people who are at odds with each other, at least in the beginning. And Mr. Darcy is kind of broody I guess and usually has long dark hair. The thing with Kylo Ren is that he has already treated Rey and her friends poorly and that’s not something that can be forgiven easily, or someone a person should be in a relationship with. He’s also not a character who has friends or loved ones that he cares for that would make him sympathetic, unlike Mr. Darcy or Anakin. Anakin killed for the people he loved, it was terrible and bad! But we understood what got him there. We understand those intentions and how they can go awry if you choose to believe the end justifies the means. Darcy is a similar reflection of those intentions, except that his mistakes aren’t near as monstrous & easily forgiven. Kylo Ren is motivated by what? Entitlement? A slightly unstable family dynamic? I know Luke ‘almost killed him’ but he had already begun exploring the dark side at that point so what got him there? Not a desire to protect his loved ones that’s for sure. I’m just very personally bothered by these parallels, as they are unequal, and they undermine what I think is good about these other stories.

that they so actively push for it to be canon. You do realize you can have just as much fun with a non canon ship as a canon one. You don’t need to see it realized on screen to have fun with your villain and hero fall in love stories. We all know Rey is just your self insert so you can have romantic trysts with Kylo Ren because you think Adam Driver or sith dudes are hot or w/e; it might be better to just accept and acknowledge that, rather than stand on your soap box telling everyone it’s the best.

Anyways, in conclusion, I don’t like this ship. I’d say it’s fine for you to indulge in it as a guilty pleasure (like I’m a sucker for vaderdala, it’s not like that’s “morally superior”). But I think the entirety of that group of people who ship it really need to consider the ramifications of what they write and what they romanticize and who they’re erasing from the narrative (coughFinncough) and what kind of message it would actually send if it was truly canon.

I also apologize for mentioning Harry Potter so much I have no idea what that was the material I drew parallels to; there are so many other books and shows and movies I’ve interacted with far more recently than Harry Potter. Maybe it’s because it’s a widely known piece of literature so it’s easier for others to see the comparisons I’m making? Hopefully.

And I won’t interact with this ship on any level except to make jokes at its expense because it fills me with an intense rage that stems from all of these many issues that I take from it. Even if it’s just someone innocuously enjoying it as a crack ship who doesn’t romanticize the bad things about it. It’s been ruined for me forever by the vocal fandom surrounding it.

[abloomntime]

A Bloom In Time Ch19

(It took me A LONG time to research and find out what all the paintings in Hat Kid's gallory looked like. If I missed any or got any wrong please let me know. All mentioned paintings can me seen in the painting room through the green door in the machine room of the ship.)

Lunch breaks were nice.

She was starving so before anything else she wanted to get somethin' in her stomach. Looking in the lil gal's fridge, there really wasn't too much of anything. It was all pretty empty except for a basket of apples, half a cheese wheel, and what looked like a carton of eggs. Well, she wasn't about to not get something to eat, and down at least three of those apples she had. They weren't as sweet tasting as she remembered the ones her father grew on their farm were, but as if this person was going to start complaining about food at this point of her life. Sure her life was REALLY crazy up to this calm point, all of it sounded like a really bad story, she was going to have to learn a whole knew pecking world different from her old one, and she was going to have to deal with her past. But if there was one thing she needed to do now was take that darn ghost's advice.

"The important thing is that I can't change or fix anything that's already happened alright? I can't send you back. I can't give you anything from your old life......And I can't change what happened to you. But, I can help make the future easier and help you with whatever you need to settle down with alright? But you got to understand that it's NOT just going to be with a snap of my fingers."

He was right. What had happened happened and there's no way she was going back there anyways, so it looks like she'd just have to start where she left off way back when. Hard work. Save up enough pons. And get that flower stand! May not seem like a giant grand idea like some would expect, but that's what she always wanted. A life where she could surround herself by precious beautiful flowers admiring their beauty and scent and give them all to people who enjoyed them as much as she does. Her blue eyes reflected in the gold coloring of the bracelet that was still tight around her wrist, bringing her other hand up to clamp around it to herself. Her business may have never taken off if that one fateful encounter with the handsome and kind prince from the neighboring kingdom hadn't taken such interest in the way she grew her little babies. He never said one bad thing about them. Complimenting on how deep a red her roses are and surprising him when she said they didn't just come in red...She chuckled remembering that silly surprised face of his.

The prince stared at her shocked, brown eyes blinking as she held out the white and red rose bouquet to him. "Wow. You're telling me they really come in more than three colors?"

She nodded  back at him. "Yep! How many colors did you think they came in?"

He figeted fiddling with the soft petals of one white rose nervously. "W-Well. I knew there was a whole bunch of red ones, and I knew there was white ones because my mother always uses then for balls. A-And I saw black roses at my grandmother's burial. May she rest in peace.....Wait." His brown eyes widened as he stared at her. Poppy blinked when he suddenly put his hands on her stand leaning forward a little. "H-HOW MANY COLORS OF ROSES ARE THERE?! I DESPERATELY NEED TO KNOW!!"

After a moment, the red head smiled and gestured to a whole slew of potted roses behind her he didn't seem to notice and his jaw dropped at the sight of them all. "Well, you sure like to learn things, so let me tell ya a thing or two about roses. There's all different breeds of roses, but all of them fall under one of the eleven color catagories ya hear? There's red, white, n black like you're used to seein'. But then there's yellow, blue, pink, purple, orange, and even green!"

His eyes landed to a beautiful batch of emerald green roses Poppy pointed out and his eyes widened more. "Those would be perfect for Vanessa! They match her emerald eyes so perfectly." He smiled and turned to Poppy. "I'd love to have some....But wait." He counted on his fingers. "Red, white, black, yellow, blue, pink, purple, green, orange-....That's only nine. I thought you said there was eleven."

She giggled. "You caught me! You see. Some are different shades of blue or pinks, but they'd still be classified under those colors, but some roses have two colors on them."

"You're KIDDING!"

"Nope!" Turning around. She spotted one of her hanging planters and reached up to pluck one of the ones near the top, carefully minding the thorns and brought it down to him. He stared at it in amazement. IT REALLY DID HAVE TWO COLORS!! It was a yellow rose but the tips of the petals were a dark pink, almost red as Poppy smiled at it. "This is what you call a Bi-Color pattern. Some breeds of roses have two colors like this. They're really popular at birthdays. But...If you want something real purty like." She set the single rose down and looked at him. "I got one more surprise for the history books."

"And what would that be?"

"Rainbow roses." He blinked confused so she held up a hand and bent down to rummage around under her stand. "I wanted to keep these hidden for the time being because I wanted to sell my over stock of other roses first since an unexpected amount bloomed this year. And you know how everyone's gonna be itchin' to buy their loved ones flowers on Cupid's Day. I wanted to sorta save these for special customers." She grabbed a small pot of something and stood up. Holding the pot just enough to be seen by him leaning over the stand and no one else passing by. His. Jaw. DROPPED. THEY WERE RAINBOW!!! Every color save for black and white was on there. All in different places on the petals and some petals being full different colors along with blended petals with two different colors mixed on them. They almost didn't look real. As if someone painted on them blindly with multiple paints. Poppy gazed at them lovingly. "My Great Great Granddaddy Willow 'Tree' Bloomington was able to cross breed all kinds of roses together until he made them. "

"I heard of him before. He used to be the Royal Gardener for the Old Owl King didn't he? They say the gardens were never more beautiful than when he was in charge."

She nodded but frowned. "That's right. That ol' birdbrain wanted my great great granddaddy to never share his masterpiece with anyone else. Wanted them all to himself, but that's like askin' an artist to not show off his art. So when he retired, he stole a few clippings and fled the country. Since then these beautiful little guys have been my family's birthright. We're extremely picky about who gets them...Or at least I am. Papa thinks I should've just stayed on the farm and become a milk maid like Mama." The prince's eyes softened at the small frown on her face but she was quick to smile again for an important customer. "So! Will it just be the one bouquet for ya, Princey? Or were ya'll still interested in those pretty green ones?" She asked as she tucked away the beautiful colorful ones again.

"I..." he glanced over to the emerald green ones then to the giant one he was already holding....And smiled again. "You know I think I will take another lovely arrangement of those too. Equal size."

Poppy smiled. "Coming right up, Your Highness!" In a few moments, she held out a pretty arrangement of green roses the shade of Vanessa's eyes all wrapped up in pretty white paper. "Two extra large bouquets will be eight pons please-" She paused and blinked when the white and red rose bouquet was held out to her and eight tiny green diamonds were dropped to the stand. "Oh. Do you need me to hold that?"

"N-No. T-they're for you."

"Me? Why? I thought you wanted to give Princess Vanessa double flowers."

"Uh.." He quickly gave a nervous smile. "W-W-Well, on Cupid's Day people give their friends and f-family too. It's all about spreading love to those you care about. It doesn't have to mean romanticism at all! Especially because I consider you a close friend!" He grinned wider nervously and wished he could push himself for how weird he must've looked. But Poppy just smiled.

"Well aren't you sweet?" She happily took the roses from him. "Now I can see why so many people like ya! And why Princess Vanessa took a likin' to ya! Such a gentleman to everyone! But are you sure you're not givin' me my own flowers?"

"Hey. I paid for them, so technically they were my flowers to do as I pleased with, and I w-wanted to show my appreciation to my.....f-friend."

"Aw. Ya'll just too kind. If that's the case, then you don't need to pay for mine."

He held up his hand and grabbed the green rose bouquet. "No, no. You did the hard work growing them. I ordered them in the first place. And they're already cut. The least I could do was pay the four pons for them. B-Besides. I don't believe in special treatment."

"Well alright. If ya insist. But here." She looked back down to the yellow n pink rose she had picked to show him and picked it up again, minding the thorns and holding it out to him. "Here! A small token from one friend to another too! On the house!"

He smiled and slowly took it from her. "Well then...Thank you, friend....I-I..Should probably be getting these to Vanessa."

"That's a fair point. Wouldn't want to keep her waiting on Cupid's Day. It's the most romantic day of the year!"

"Heh. Yeah....L-Love."

Sells really did increase after word of the prince buying her flowers went around. That day alone must've been her best Cupid's Day ever cuz right after he left with those green roses a woman came up to her and asked for five purple roses for her parents and sisters followed by others. She sold her normal quote for flowers that day plus lots of extras! She was able to get lots of work providing for small weddings in the town square, parties, and other festive times. All because of one friend's kindness. She felt guilty now that she only got so much business from his reputation but this time she'd have to really work for her dream! And she was totally going to be the best florist anyone's every had in a thousand years! For now she'd just rest a little while and help out with whatever that purple onion jack o lanturn had in mind, and wait to see what he was planning. She wasn't sure what to expect from a giant ghost but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't curious. Poppy made her way back out the kitchen's double doors after dipositing her third apple core into the trashcan in the corner, and the scene in the control room made her smile. The two girls were sitting on pillows a little ways from the television playing with the gold castle, it looked like a game of princess since Bow was making a princess doll scream help from the tower and Hattie was acting out the villain with that golden mafia man. The other old things like the gold pencil and cookie was all in a small random pile a few feet from them both.

"You will never have the princess! She'll be locked away forever and the kingdom of gold will be mine! Muahahaha!!," Hattie said in a fake deep man's voice.

"Oh yeah! Well I, Sir Cat-o-lot, will save her!," Bow threatened back holding out a small black cat plush. They must've heard her giggling when she came down cuz they both looked up at her as she came in and Bow waved at her. "Hi, Poppy! Wanna play?"

"Yeah! You can be the giant who comes and steals the gold up the apple tree in the sky!...Or was it a bush in the sky?"

"I'd love to, Pumpkins. But I still gotta job to do, don't you remember? I'd rather finish it and then relax a lil bit. There anywhere we missed?"

Hattie shook her head. "No. Rumbi already swept everywhere, the painting room was so small and easy. He's still sweeping the engine room."

"What about the mail room?,'' Bow asked pointing to the yellow tunnel entrance poking out from the wall near the engine room door. "It has junk mail all over the place after Mayor Mafia Glasses read through them all."

Mail room huh? Well she didn't know who this Mayor mafia ..glasses?? was, but if it was the last room she needed to clean then she might as well get it all done. Then she could finally relax for the day. Walking over the yellow entrance, the children went back to their little game giggling. Great. This entrance looked small too, she'd probably have to crawl through there as well and drag the broom behind her like last time. Leaning down, she peeked inside....And fell backwards with a yell. Both girls flinched and looked up at her loud yell as Poppy stumbled before landing on her behind at the sight of two yellow glowing eyes and mouth smiling at her from the darkness. A high pitched raspy laugh rang out and two clawed hands reached out to grab the outside of the yellow tunnel, before the darkness pulled himself out smiling and revealing himself to be non other than the famous snatching ghost himself. Poppy's scared and confused face quickly turned to one of anger as she scowled.

"I should have known!"

"AHAHAHAHA!! You should've seen how utterly scared you looked! That's a feeling I never get tired of seeing any day," he rasped out and looked down smiling at her as Poppy stood up and dusted herself off. Giving him a scowl.

"So is THIS one of the pranks I heard about? Y'know for 'the most powerful ghost on this measly planet' that sure wasn't very impressive."

"HEY!" He scowled back and crossed his arms. "There's NOTHING wrong with a classic hide and go boo routine! Works almost a hundred percent of the time! And you're one to talk about not impressive work." He jabbed a claw over at the watching girls. "Playing and walking around when there's work to be done? That's not productive at all."

"We're already finished."

".........WHAT?!" It took him a few moments to register what she said but when he did his head snapped to her so fast she was afraid it was going to float off and faze through the wall. "You couldn't have cleaned an entire ship in one day?!"

"Well, to be fair we aren't all the way done." She pointed behind him with a deadpanned look. " We're waiting for Rumbi. An' I still need to go fix up whatever's up there and I need to hammer a plank of wood back in place upstairs since we found gold buried under it. Now excuse me." Snatcher gave off a confused noise when Poppy just pushed his tail aside and went back to peer back up into the yellow tunnel. She could see a light and some kind of papers floating around everywhere. "Hey! One of yall get me the broom and somethin' to catch a bunch of flying paper." Bow nodded dropping her toys in favor of running off to the kitchen as Poppy turned back to the tunnel and started crawling her way up it towards the light.

"You found what under what?!" Snatcher turned back as Poppy disappeared into the yellow tunnel. "H-HEY! Don't you know it's rude to walk away from your boss when he's talking to you about your contractual obligations!?" When he didn't get an answer he stuck his head in the tunnel entrance. "Yes? No? HELLO!! Why aren't you saying anything?!"

"Y'know, for a dead guy you sure have a loud mouth!," she called back smiling when she heard him sputter.

"WHAT?! The peck I'm not! You're the one ignoring me!" He floated through the walls after her snorting form.

"Maybe so but I think your bark is worse than your bite, Purple Onion! What are you doing here anyways? I thought ya were busy." Her face popped up out of the entrance just in time for it to get smacked by a very old envelope, to which she shook her head and got it off to gawk around. Papers were flying around alright, they were laying all over the place if they were flying about or in a big pile on the other side of the room. In the middle of the room was a desk with two pans on it. One was green and said IN and the other was red and said OUT. There was also a few pole blocker things in front of the desk like the ones around those metal table things she'd been seeing around. A small coffee table stood off to one side of the room with two blue seated cushioned seats, near the entrance was two metal deviders and a giant wooden dresser, and to her far left was a giant basket filled with more old letters, a fan, and a pale carpet stood under the desk. She gazed up hearing a snicker and Snatcher was there probably because of the letter smacking her face. Before giving a grunt when a piece of paper smacked him in the pace making her snort again. "Not so funny yourself Mr. Meany."

He swiped the letter off his face scowling and staring at her. "HEY! I'm not completely heartless you know. Every so often I steal letters from others and deliver them to my minions as if they were getting something. It helps lift their spirits so to speak. And to answer your question." He threw the paper away which fluttered to the ground. "I often come back and check on new employee's progress every few hours or so, this is no different. But I have to say I'm suprised with how reliant you were for this tack."

"Well I did have the two best helpers in the world." She smiled and finally got to stand up in the room looking around with a hum. "This one might be a little tricky, but can't be worse than a room of snow. And I still have to hammer that bourd back. Bow tugged it loose after that gold."

"Where the peck did you all get the gold? Im pretty sure I don't pay you until after the job is done, as I'm not legally obligated to pay for unfinished work."

"From the Roach King."

"The Roach what?!"

"Ask them if ya'll want some answers." She turned hearing some footsteps behind her and smiled seeing Bow in the entrance to the yellow hallway. A broom and dustpan in one hand and a trashbag in the other. "Well, why thank you honeybunch!" She reached over hand out for them and Bow handed them over.

"I couldn't find any nets, so I thought you could use the bag to catch them?"

Poppy smiled standing back up and looking over to the mail floating around and sighed. "Actually I think we'll be needing a lot more bags if we want to clear all this mess out." She pointed towards the giant pile of letters along the wall. "That spinny thing there is propellin' these here letters up and then they're blown all 'round the room makin' a mess. We'll have to just get rid of all this junk."

Bow scratched her head. "How? I don't think they'll all fit in the trashcan."

Poppy smiled and looked up towards Snatcher who after staring a couple seconds back to her finally got a sense of what she was thinking. "HEY! Just a pecking second here! You're not pawning them off on me!"

"I'm not. You can just take 'em and give them all to those precious lil helpers of yours can't ya?"

"Well...Yes. But who are you to decide what I DO with my time?"

"Oh c'mon. it'll be so sweet of ya." Her big blue eyes shined at him as she smiled up towards him. "Won't ya just help a gal out with this just once? You're other uh...'employees' would really get a hoot from it too-"

"OH ALRIGHT!!" He turned his head away. Anymore staring at her smile and he'd start feeling mushy which he hated. "But I expect YOU to get them all ready to go for me! Since Im not legally obligated to help with cleaning."

Poppy eagerly agreed and sent Bow back to grab more bags from her as she got to work picking up a few of the letters scattered about on the floor at her feet. Snatcher having nothing else to do at the moment decided to leave the mail room and fazed through the wall back into the control room in time to see Bow slam open the kitchen doors and run in. At the sight of her ghostly BFF, Hattie sprung up and bounded up to him. Chattering about how much of a good helper she had been and how she was STILL a better helper cu technically she was still cleaning....Well really Rumbi was the one sweeping away at the engine room but she put him there in the first place. And then when his yellow eyes looked over at all the random gold objects laying in a pile, he pointed a claw and asked about it. Her face lit up even more and she went on a long spree about how she found these mysterious notes in her room and then Poppy found a whole bunch more while cleaning and then they followed them up all the way to the attic. And then Hattie went on to tell him about how Bow busted open a plank of wood from the side of the staircase in the attic and it turns out there was gold in it! Speaking of Bow, she had burst back out of the kitchen sometime during her ramble and dragged a good number of black trash bags behind her disappearing into the yellow entrance most likely going to delivery them to Poppy. In the mean time Hattie told him all about how this roach stole her gold potion and turned all this stuff and the gold potion itself into gold. Holding up the objects one by one up to him. The cookie, the gear, the potion, and her most proud posession the gold castle which she beamed with happiness eager to show it off to him. If he was anyone else he would've called her reaction cute, but all it got was a small half smile from the ghost before the hatted child had the brilliant idea he should come and see the notes for himself. Eh...Why the peck not right? He had literally nothing else better to do while waiting on the cleaning duo up there, and he was sure Minion Number 47 could run the place for a little while longer in his absence. She WAS head of the manor staff when she was alive so she'd have no trouble giving orders to lots of people on a tight scheduale. He saw the notes alright, and this mysterious Roach King they were all talking about. The gold roach statue sat ontop of the papers he apparently left out for them to follow and Snatcher couldn't help but read through them all not that the child seemed to mind at all. She left in the middle of him reading through them, saying something about needing to check up on Rumbi but he didn't care. He was honestly surprised at the letters addressed to the girls, having such kind words to say about them both, but they weren't wrong either. In fact they were very accurate to their positive nature, but if he could add a few things it'd be childish, sassy, and a whole bunch of other things to describe them then just having a gold heart. As they were much more than a gold heart, but hey. The guy turned himself into gold. What was he supposed to expect from him? Placing the notes and gold statue of the roach wearing a crown, he decided it was about time he headed back and see what was up. Imagine his slight surprise when he popped his head through a wall and saw what looked like a large round black ball stuck in the entrance to the slide. Which gave way a moment later and tumbled to the floor revealing itself to be a full trashbag and Hattie tumbling after it landing on her stomach with a thud. The hatted child pushed her self up pushing the comically large hat off her face and scowling at the bag. Snatcher could only watch in amuzement as she rolled it over towards four other full trashbags near the control panel.

"Sheesh, Kid. That's a lot of mail," he commented.

"There's three more bags," Hattie groaned before hanging her arms and stomping her way way towards the slide entrance as yet another bag was having a hard time exiting. Most likely by Bow shove it. "Cleaning is so BORING! Why do I gotta do it?"

"You're not the only one, Kid. And by the sound of things, you've never would've found that gold if you didn't clean up," He pointed out just as Bow popped her head out as the bag shot out.

"Yeah. But now we found it and now it's boring!," she whined back heading to the slide.

"Aren't that robot and Poppy the ones who've done most of the work?"

"WE HELPED!!"

"Then you should have no problem helping her with one last teensy tiny room." He glanced at Bow running back with a smile on her face. "By the looks of things you're practically done already."

Hattie groaned but followed Bow back up the slide towards the mail room, followed by Snatcher who fazed through the wall after them. "Anyone ever tell you, you work too hard for you're own good," he asked popping his head just above the slide exit.

Poppy chuckled wiping down the desk before looking over her shoulder at him. "Lots of times. But I aim to please, and I learnt a long time ago that hard work comes good rewards." She watched the two girls dragging the last two bags away and smiled. The mail room didn't have to be that clean to be honest. There was barely even any dirt on the ground. A quick sweep, bag the useless mail, wipe down these tables, and she even dumped those blocker rod things in the empty giant basket over there outta the way. "The place is mighty fine looking without paper smackin' your face. I didn't know aliens had a mail room...Well to be honest I didn't know they could have a painting room or anything else either."

Something about that sentence made Snatcher freeze for a moment and stare at her. " You...saw the paintings?"

"Well....No. But Hattie told me she already had the place swept so it's already taken care of ain't it?"

"Would you like to see it?," he asked a small feeling of excitement bubbling from his chest.

"I would  but I have the attic to fix don't I-" She jumped when Snatcher grabbed her arm and pulled her forward.

"That can wait! You're taking your once a day fifthteen minute break and coming with me. What's the point of living here if you don't see the entire complex?,'' he said with an almost cheery voice and looked down to the small girls pushing the last of the junk down the slide slowly. "Get good Kids! We have some real work to see!"

At one point, Hattie fed up with everything took a few steps back, before tackling the bags and Bow along with them. They all unstuck pretty quickly tumbling down into the control room with the kids landing all in one giant heap on the ground. Well ....That certainly did the trick didn't it? Snatcher seemed to be please as he tugged Poppy along and only stopped when she yanked her hand out of his grasp. He froze as she gave him a stern look for a couple seconds, before willingly going down the slide entrance herself. Oh if only he could punch himself for that. Poppy emerged a moment later in the control room and glanced up at Snatcher with narrowed eyes.

"I understand you're excited, but trying to yank me through a wall isn't an option. I would've bashed my head into that wall there!" Those yellow eyes glanced to the wall for a moment seeming to register what she was getting at. Oh. Right. Walls and humans don't really mix all too well huh? "Now don't you go doin' that again."

"Uh....Sure."

.....She gave a small smile again. "There. That wasn't too hard was it? Now whatcha going on about paintings for?"

"The painting room?" Hattie struggled out of the small pile her and Bow were in with protests from Bow but managed to squeeze out of there and up towards her dusting herself off and up to them. "I can show you! It's right by the engine room through the green do-"

"Whoa! Hey! That's MY thunder you're stealing kid!" A giant purple claw gently grabbed Hattie around the waist and pulled her back as the giant ghost leaned down to give her a look. "You have you're fun and now it's my shot. Don't be a rude little lady." Hattie gave a small pout and huff but didn't say anything else much to his delight as he put her down and patted the top of her hat before turning back to Poppy. "Well that seals that deal! Why don't we just go see those paintings?" he pointed towards the engine room door. "Trust me when I say this is the best part of the breaking experience."

"I reckon I don't have a say so to your looney persistance don't I?," she asked smiling at him but slowly followed behind none the less.

"NOPE!!"

A feeling of excitement welled up in him again as he smiled and shot through the wall faster than a bullet in one dark purple blur. Making her blink and shake her head. Well....She really ought to see the entirety of this ship then shouldn't she? One last room wasn't gonna hurt her. Leaving the girls to bicker over whatever little girls bickered over she followed right after the ghost through the tunnels. A moment later she saw himself sticking out of the walls of grinding gears above a green doorway and gestured for her to follow as he ducked back into the wall. And of course, she followed, side stepping Rumbi who was still sweeping around, wanting to see what he was so excited over. The hallway there was a little darker than the others but there was enough light for her to see that it also was littered with excellent gear designs but this time it was a very dark green. These aliens must be very rich to afford a weaver to make such excellent carpets. When the door opened on the other side oh boy she was in for another surprise.

"There you are!," Snatcher called from the ceiling below with a smile. That ghostly hair n fluff of his hanging down towards the floor as he grinned. "Took you long enough! Get in here and see what you've been missing!''

She did so and was thankful the room despite being small was big enough for her to stand in, it had red flooring and a green plain carpet running it's length. At one corner of the small room she saw yet another metal table thing with these 'relics' as Hattie had called them. This one was a UFO mobile and under it attached by strings were three cows that looked the same but were different. One wore glasses and a tin foil hat, one wore just green sunglasses, and the other one didn't wear anything and looked totally normal. But it wasn't that that caught the attention of the red head. PAINTINGS!! There were paintings of different sizes, lengths, and styles that she had never seen before. She gawked at the meer sight of them all looking at each wall slowly taking it all in. At the very back wall was the fist thing she saw when she crawled in and her eyes lazer pointed on the largest of the six paintings that were on it. Why..It was Hattie herself! She looked might sweet standing in a field holding her umbrella open, her yellow cap and hair blowing in the breeze. If she hadn't known better she thought the painting would've giggled at her funny expression. Next to that one was a city shrouded by night, the only lights coming from the windows on the tail buildings and the cresent moon painted under it. The one directly under it was a bit strange. It was the face of a gold tribal man on a grey background and he wore pure black glasses. How odd. The other three were realitively small compared to those three. One being a close up of a plant's green leaves, a baby crow leaning against a wall next to toy blocks, and a pretty forest landscape. She could see a few trees and mountains in the distance of it. Turning her head to the right, Poppy noticed the right wall had only five. The tiny rectangle one in the top corner of the right wall was a burly looking man riding on top of a ...giant slab of meat? Below that was a picture of Hattie's face. Well, four pictures of Hattie all looking alike but with different color pastels. The entire square painting was divided into four smaller squares and each one had a Hattie of a different color tone. How strange. Then there was a giant portrait of a man with a mustache and beard. He wore a red suit that looked quite expensive. And next to that was two others, one was a black background with nothing but red thorny vines painted on it, and the other was a bit more stranges. It was divided into three background colors (red, green, and yellow) and had a bubble with different items in each. One was a heart, another a giant green diamond, and what looked to be a small king's crown.

"What do you think of work?," Snatcher asked proudly crossing his arms and looking pleased with himself.

Poppy leaned to the right wall and gently laid her hand on the frame of the red suited man in wide eyed wonder....before turning to him. "YOU painted all of these?" she asked gawking at him.

His smile widened more smug if that was possible. "Yep. And those." He pointed to the left wall wear there was five giant paintings behind the space cow mobile. He then pointed behind her. "And the ones right behind you."

Poppy looked behind her and took a few steps back from the doorway she had crawled in from to look at the six painting hanging above the doorway. Two were big. One was of two burly men who looked exactly alike and they looked to be farming folk like her parents were, the other one was of the famous Snatcher himself, with some king of background she didn't recognize. Maybe a bridge? He was in the middle holding his face in what looked like a very shocked expression. The others weren't grand scale but interesting anyways. Three of them were again Hattie but one looked more like a sketch that had her with double arms and legs. How bizarre. The one of Hattie next to it was her from her shoulders up but wearing a strange mask. It was green and red with black polka dots. The one of Hattie above those two was a much more normal one. It was of Hattie sitting down with her hands in her lap and behind her was a BEAUTIFUL background of mountains, a wide lake, and forest. The last one in the corner was another strange one. It was the man in the red suit again sitting on a throne, and a whole bunch of the burly men who looked a like bowing to him as if he was a king.

"These are...A-AMAZING!!"

She looked over to the last wall which had the biggest paintings on it. The strangest one was also the biggest. What looked like some desert landscape with a single dead tree and melting hour glasses all over it. Above that was another one of you guessed it, Hattie. In outerspace wearing an astronaut suit and connected to her spaceship. She looked so cartoony and adorable! A red boat sailing alone on a stormy sea, she could almost smell the sea air. One of the smaller large ones was just a beige background and just Hattie umbrella painted on it. And the the very last one was an abstract orange portrait of some man wearing sunglasses and a flower shirt. Snatcher however was looking VERY pleased at all the praise he was getting stroking his already huge ego as the smiling red read looked back to him with a wide smile.

"I can't believe you painted all of these!"

"Well you better, Red. Because I'm taking full credit for what you see." He 'polished' his claws against his neck fluff and examined them. "I don't usually do it, but sometimes if I'm bored and don't have a new supply of books to read I'll start on one and work on it a bit at a time. One of my lesser known talents." He then pointed at the room around him. "Couldn't really have these in the forest. Too many ways they could be damaged, so here was more ideal."

"I can see why." She turned her gaze around the room again before giggling and giving him an almost smug look. "Ya'll must really adore that little girl. There's six paintins' with her sweet lil face on 'em. But strangely I see none with the other one."

He paused for a moment looking at her...before coughing and looking away embarrased. "Well. Yes. I'm proud of them. In a way.....But we learnt the hard way the kiddo was allergic to paint and she wasn't too fond of the idea of her being painted."

Poppy guessed he was referring to Bow and hummed. "Poor thing. I can understand how that feels. But still." Her smile became all the more loving to him. "You have acceptional talent for this king of stuff. I reckon now I can say I was abducted by aliens and saw paintings by ghost. Hehe!"

He felt a warm feeling bubble up at the giggle but he cleared his throat and looked away again crossing his arms. "A-Alright! W-Well I think your legal fifthteen minute break is over, Red. Didn't you have something else to do today?"

"OH RIGHT!! The attic. I wonder if that girl has a hammer and nails?"

"Pretty sure she does since she literally has everything around her-......" He stopped midway through his rant and stared at her. Or more acturrately the bottom of her dress with all the rips and hole in it and pointed it out to her. "What the peck happened to you?"

She blinked and looked down to where he was pointing. "Oh. This? I think I got it all ripped up crashlandin' through those trees."

"You look like a homeless maid wearing that." He grunt and rolled his eyes. "Guess I'll have to fix that too."

Her red brow rose in surprise. "You sew too?"

"Of course I can! I made the kids all those clothes and my minions their highly durable bodies." His hand proudly pointed to himself. "I happen to be a powerful being with unlimited hidden talents." ..........Poppy's face suddenly turned into one of amuzement and she snorted again hand shooting to her mouth while the other went to her gut to try and hide the laughter. Which Snatcher flabbergasterdly got angry at. "WHAT'S WITH THAT LAUGHING!? WHAT?! YOU DON'T THINK MEN CAN SEW!? THAT'S LOW COMING FROM YOU!!" She snorted again sounding like a pig doubling over a bit and smiling wider behind her hand making Snatcher give a small growl. "HEY!! DON'T LAUGH AT ME YOU DOTTED FACE!! IM THE SNATCHER!! KING OF SUBCON AND TAKER OF SOULS!!"

She snorted again and in a strained voice said. "Oh yes. *Wheeze* T-The great and horrible monster ghost. Daddy of aliens, Painter of...HMHM! HAHA!! D-Daughters. And tailor of dresses."

Snatcher let out the biggest flustered peacock sqawk she'd ever heard and she lost it. Doubling over onto her knees, both hands gripping her sides as she leaned over and laughed hard, snorting a few times. Snatcher's cheeks lit up with a bright yellow flush and his fluff floofed out of embarrassment as he just kinda sputtered and stared at the laughing woman on the floor at a loss for words. Eventually forcing something out.

"OH YEAH!! W-WELL YOU LOOK LIKE A POOR MAID!! JUST-.....GO CHANGE OUTTA THAT RUINED DRESS BY THE TIME I LEAVE IF YOU WANT IT FIXED!! A-AND GO FIX THAT STUPID ATTIC AS PUNISHMENT!!"

He dissappeared back up into the ceiling leaving the wheezing and laughing woman hugging her sides through her laughing fit. Coughing when she couldn't get enough air. Oh boy. Was he gonna be sour for a while.