#not to mention that he had to argue with the insurance company

[911-on-abc]

<3 pt1 i don't have time to write an entire sugardaddy bucktommy fic but the rent for buck's loft has always been his biggest expense, and it's always been on the top end of his range. but a pandemic and medical cost exceeding his usual extensive insurance (bc fuck them for not covering the coma after the lightning strike), and global conflicts and the landlord raising rent and things getting more expensive and late-stage capitalism means that buck will have to move out sooner rather than later. it's just not sustainable anymore to stay in a place that's never felt home and doesn't even have a couch. so ever since he broke up with natalia he's been looking at other rental properties, but LA is the worst, so he hasn't even been able to tour more than two places, even with ravi's help. and then bobby and athena's cruise capsizes and tommy kinard flies them in on a helicopter and buck is in awe at this man and his quiet confidence and self-assurance, a literal calm in a storm. so of course buck tries to spend time with him, make a new friend. and tommy invites him to flying lessons at some private airstrip, and brings him some learning manuals the next time they see each other. takes him to some craft beer place that lets you engrave your bottles. brings lunch from that fancy new place with a waiting list longer than a cvs receipt. they attend some concert together with seats that have the perfect view of the stage. tommy flies them to the grand canyon on a random wednesday because buck mentioned it once. and they get to talking and buck invites him over for a beer, and tommy is impressed by the loft, but where buck would've preened at the compliment before, something about tommy makes him open up. admit that he can barely afford it, that he's actively trying to find another place. and tommy just offers to half of the rent until he finds another place. like it's nothing. and buck really can't accept that, like why would tommy do that? "it's a nice place and you don't seem to be happy about having to leave and i can help you. it's a temporary solution." and they argue about it and buck finally relents and tells him he'll pay him back. tommy waves him off. so buck starts cooking dinner for him. comes over after tommy had a tiring shift and does the laundry and cleans the kitchen. organises the pantry. repots some plants on the balcony. until tommy takes him aside and tells him he doesn't need to make himself useful, he enjoys his company even if they're just sitting in silence watching tv. so buck asks him why. why is he being so nice to him. "because i like you. and life hasn't been the kindest to you, and i have the means to make it a little better. so please let me?" and buck asks how, like how does he even have the means, surely air support doesn't pay that much better? and turns out it doesn't, but in combination with his army pension and some hefty inheritance from his grandparents, he likes to spend his money on people and things who matter. who make the world a better, brighter place.

ANON I LOVE YOU OHMYGODDDD I was totally NOT expecting anyone to write anything for me when I made that post tasrtudyifuoinwa;clskgblna;wnbiwapb THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mordremstaff]

💔 for Nokke (had to since you mentioned "worst divorce in the history of Tyria")

💔 - Exes

This requires context on who he was married to and what sort of people the two are. Nokke was once upon a time married to my other character Poulos Whittlewit, who was Blood Legion spec ops turned gladium turned doctor in Lion's Arch with a specialty in treating mesmer-induced damage to the mind.

Nokke and Poulos are both military men, with Nokke joining the Vigil when it was formed and Poulos being from the Legions. They met just after Zhaitan was killed in Orr and the Pact was celebrating. Nokke was just promoted to Warmaster due to his actions, leadership, and heroics in Orr. Poulos was on-sight as a consultant/specialist treating patients and setting up treatment plans to help minds recover. The two met, hit off instantly, and it turned into a rapid love affair to marriage.

Their marriage was stable for the most part. It was open as Nokke was in active service and Poulos was practicing in Lion's Arch. Whenever Nokke was back in LA, they met up and spent time together and then Nokke would be deployed again and the two would spend time apart. They really enjoyed each other's company and each other. They both believed in helping people, they both believed in protecting everyone and righting the wrongs cruel people and tyrants and dragons and so on have performed. They both were people extremely skilled in their respective fields and they respected and admired each other's skills.

The point of contention for them were their wants for military service. Nokke had no intentions of settling down ever. He was in the Vigil and the Pact, he could fight, and he'd keep fighting until the day he died. Poulos was a gladium who left the Legions due to disgust for what he had to do for them as a very powerful mesmer. Poulos' views are colored by the fact he was used as basically a walking talking intelligent weapon, and he wanted Nokke to leave the Vigil to settle down with him. They argued about it a lot, but mostly the fights would blow over and they'd pretend like it never happened.

It was fine for a while until the charr civil war and Drizzlewood, which was all sorts of trouble for Poulos given his ex-Blood Legion status, and then the subsequent killing Jormag and Primordus. Poulos was well and done by then and he begged Nokke to finally settle down with him. Nokke's killed Jormag, he's had his revenge against the dragon and the Svanir who killed his homestead, just settle down and live a good life.

Nokke took that personally. He and Poulos got into a huge fight in which Nokke called Poulos weak and pathetic and a spineless puppet. Poulos called Nokke an asshole and egotistical and too obsessed with his legend to see the good life he had, and then rubbed salt into the wound that Nokke's hubris is what got his entire home killed. Nokke yelled at Poulos that the only thing Poulos has ever known is cowardice, and what was it like to kill children in their beds or turn them into living weapons against their parents. Everything turned into shit slinging and finger pointing, which turned into a physical fight, and by the end of it Nokke left and sent Poulos divorce papers via mail.

They got divorced and Nokke refused to acknowledge Poulos ever again. He avoided Lion's Arch for a while to avoid seeing him, mostly sticking to Fort Marriner and the Vigil space there. Poulos kept Nokke as his beneficiary on his will, and then was killed a few years later. Nokke technically gets life insurance payout in the mail, but he refuses to acknowledge Poulos and doubly refuses to acknowledge Poulos is dead, because at the end of the day he loved and loves him and if he acknowledges Poulos is dead he has to confront his feelings on Poulos, confront the miserable way they separated, and has to hunt down Poulos' killer(s) for honorable revenge for killing his (ex) lover.

[eleganzadellarosa]

I was wondering if you could do a little something with Changeol and a plus-size reader (she's kind of insurance and shy) where she's friends with Sehun and has a big crush on Chanyeol and Sehun knows but she thinks Chanyeol would never like her because of a comment both Sehun and Chanyeol said one night at the studio.

Don’t Worry About It

pairing: chanyeol x plussize!reader ft. bestfriend! Sehun

genre: fluff, friends to lovers

warnings: mentions of body dysmorphia, reader is insecure, use of Y/N

word count: 1.65K

A/N: Thank you so much for your ask, I hope it is up to par with what you wanted! Feel free to drop another request in my inbox! 🥰 Thank you, have a great day and enjoy reading! :)

“Why don’t you just ask him?”

“What?” You snapped out of your thoughts. You hadn’t even realized you were staring until he said something. But you heard him nonetheless and he said it a bit too loud for your comfort. “What the fuck Hun? You’re not making this any better right now.”

“Girl…please just ask him, I promise you he won’t say no.”

“How do you know that? What makes you think he’s gonna say yes?!”

It’s bad to think of yourself that way but to you, you were WAY out of Chanyeol’s league. He probably wanted a small, fit girl; someone who is, in truth, the complete opposite of you. According to Sehun, your best friend, he thinks you’re overthinking it and Chanyeol would be more than happy to be in a relationship. Though, that’s not what you’re trying to build the confidence to ask.

There was a music festival coming up that you knew Chanyeol would love to attend, as he himself is a producer and lover of music, but it would be the two of you. No one else. Not even Sehun. And in your mind Chanyeol wouldn’t dare be caught walking in public with “that type” of girl. It would mess up his image; the cool guy, chill, handsome image and you’d rather not be the cause of the ridicule he’d receive.

“Do you want me to ask him for you?” Sehun has known you both for as long as you can remember, which means that he knows things that you don’t know about Chanyeol and that all of your worries and doubts have no basis.

“Hell no! Oh my god you’re crazyyy!

You were glad Chanyeol sat with his noise canceling headphones on, not paying attention to you and Sehun at all. This is how you spent some days with him, showing him as much support you could because you knew how talented he was. He made music because he liked it, not because he wanted to be famous but he also wanted to share his gift with the world; and you supported that idea wholeheartedly. Very early into your friendship, you caught feelings for him. He was such a ball of golden retriever energy and you always felt your happiest around him.

You dug that hole yourself and now you were paying the price. You’ve never been someone’s first choice and maybe not even their third, but it hurt even more when you stopped yourself from possibly getting rejected just because you had a bit more meat on your bones. Contrary to Sehun’s belief, you knew Chanyeol would never give you chance. One day he invited you both to his house and when you came out the bathroom, you stayed back to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Yeah I think she’d look so much better if she wasn’t so big.” Chanyeol said.

“I know, I said the same thing but I don’t think there’s any changing that. Not any time soon anyway.” Sehun added on and you ran back in the bathroom before you heard anymore.

You tried dumping your feelings down the drain but it was so much harder than you thought. Chanyeol was nice to you and always seemed to love your company. Perhaps this was one of those relationships that were cursed to stay strictly platonic and you weren’t sure when you’d come to terms with that; or if you ever would.

“What are you guys arguing about?” Chanyeol slid the headphones down to rest around his neck and sat his guitar in his lap.

Your cheeks turned red and before Sehun spoke a single syllable, you pinched his side and said, “Nothing, he’s just being Hun.”

“Do you guys wanna go get something to eat? I’m so hungry, maybe we can stop at a that cheesesteak place or go get some Korean BBQ?”

“Sure I’m down.” Sehun said standing from the couch.

“Yeah I’m pretty hungry too, I vote K-BBQ.”

“I vote K-BBQ if she’s paying!” Sehun said quickly before evading another pinch from you.

“Don’t worry about it I’ll pay. Sorry you guys waited for so long, I’m serious when I say you don’t have to wait here for me.”

“Of course we will Yeol, we’ve been here since day 1.” You smiled and pat him on the shoulder.

You three sat salivating at the almost cooked to perfection meat, grilling in the center on the table. You and Sehun waited at the studio for 3 hours and neither of you thought to bring snacks. Chanyeol placed a piece of the cooked meat in a leaf of lettuce along with rice, garlic and a pepper. He folded it up nicely and held it up to your mouth.

“Here you take the first one.”

Your eyes widened slightly but you quickly opened your mouth before the contents of the wrap came spilling out. “Mm it’s perfect.” You said more in line with a mumble from your mouth being stuffed.

“No fair, why does she get the first one? I also said I was hungry and I was waiting for you too!” Sehun complained but it fell on deaf ears as Chanyeol stuffed the next wrap in his own mouth. “Fine, both of you are selfish.” You and Chanyeol looked at each other and laughed.

“Oh yeah Y/N, that festival’s coming up next month and I was wondering if you were free to go.” Chanyeol asked after slightly leaning back in his seat. “You can get some good pictures there and maybe I can upload a few for my insta.”

“Oh?” You looked over at Sehun who was trying to keep a straight face. “Yeah I’m free, but this loser said he wasn’t so I think maybe we should choose another day if you wanna go with the both of us.”

“Oh…yeah, yeah that’s a good idea maybe we can just try going on the last day.”

Sehun sucked his teeth and sighed and hit you with a side eye. You knew what he wanted you to say but that wasn’t going to happen in a million years. He was going to have to keep hoping and wishing because unless things changed, you’d never put yourself in a position to get hurt like that.

For the next couple weeks, Chanyeol seemed to avoid you and when you asked Sehun about it he told you that you were stupid but he also hadn’t spoken to him much.

You: what do you mean? wth did i do?

Hunnie 🙄 : you mean what did you NOT do?

You: hun i told you im not gonna ask him

Hunnie 🙄: girl nvm, you’re on your own from here 😭 i cant help you anymore

You rolled your eyes and left him on read. He didn’t understand because he’s never had to deal with something like this. He was also handsome (gross) and girls loved him, so thinking so deeply before asking someone on a date has probably never crossed his mind. You wanted to make sure Chanyeol was okay though, so you decided to give him a call. He picked up right before it went to voicemail.

“Hey Yeol, I was just calling to check on you. You haven’t been answering any of my texts. You good?”

“Yeah I’m good, just been pretty busy with my songs.”

“You sure? You know you can talk to me about anything right? I’m right here if you need to talk. Don’t put too much stress on yourself.” He went silent for a while and you thought it might have gotten disconnected. “Hello?”

“Y/N, can I be honest with you?”

Your heart started beating quickly and you ran through all of the worst possible things he could say to you right now. “Uh…yeah, of course.”

“When I mentioned the music festival, I wasn’t talking about going with you and Sehun…I was talking about just going with you.”

“Oh.” Well that’s not what you expected for him to say. “Sorry Yeol, I just assumed you meant both of us since we always go everywhere together.”

“I know, but I want that to change.”

“Why, is something going on with you and Hun? Oh gosh I didn’t even know I’m sor-“

“No Y/N, I want that to change because I want to start taking you on dates. I don’t wanna just be your friend anymore.”

Your mind was having a hard time processing everything and you couldn’t put the pieces together. “But, I thought you wouldn’t go for a girl like me?”

“What makes you think that?” He honestly sounded a bit offended.

“That day you had invited us over to your house, I overheard you and Hun saying you’d think I’d look so much better if I wasn’t so big.”

“What I never said tha- ooooooooh, oh my god Y/N we would never say something like that about you. We were talking about the art I wanna put on my album. There’s a picture of a drawing and we thought it would look much better if we could get her drawn smaller but the artist is usually busy so who knows when he’d be able to make the adjustments.” Guess that’s what you get for jumping to conclusions? “I’d love to be with you. You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen and I’ve always had a crush on you. I didn’t think you’d like me like that.”

You couldn’t help but laugh with tears in your eyes. All this time you could’ve been cuddled up at the studio and you thought your two best friends said the meanest thing possible about you. Everything had been a big misunderstanding and if you didn’t call Chanyeol today, maybe he would’ve never had the confidence to tell you of his friendship long crush.

“Yeol, I wanted to ask you to go with me for the longest but again, I didn’t think you’d want to. I’d love to go with you.”

It was his turn to laugh, “I can’t believe this, you’re telling me you could’ve been my girlfriend for ages now? Be ready by 5 and make sure to bring your camera, we have to take some couple pics!”

[grim-echoes]

Any thoughts on what's up with the Accelerated Dynamics nightmare dungeon? The obvious surface is about corporate greed, but how does that relate directly to Jimmy's life like the other nightmare dungeons do?

i've been slacking on the analysis posts a hell of a lot but this is one of the dungeons i've been looking for an opportunity to talk about because it's another one of those inclusions in jatpm that i think gets overlooked because it doesn't have an immediately obvious interpretation like some others do (or, as obvious as is possible for your average jimmy fan). i've done a lot of thinking about it, and a while back had this realization (slight tw for very very brief suicide mention, also obvious spoilers ahead):

kasey definitely put a lot of his own personal grievances with capitalism into accelerated dynamics, but in my opinion it's an incomplete picture without taking megatropolis as a whole into consideration. terminal illness is extremely costly to treat and particularly in the US, it's (in my experience) much more terrifying to imagine being unable to afford the cost of healthcare than it is to actually fall ill and require treatment. even with insurance covering the cost of medical supplies and bills most people continue to struggle to feed, clothe, and house themselves, and that's assuming they do have health insurance that covers the right necessities to begin with.

i say this because i doubt jimmy's cancer treatment was at all affordable given that he's already been through chemotherapy once before, and has spent the entirety of his second battle comatose while his family continues to work not just to support themselves, but to try and save his life. this isn't to argue that money troubles were absolutely a factor in his family's life because of his illness because we don't know much at all about their financial situation--more that this is a terrifying reality for many, many families fighting illnesses, and megatropolis is representative of something that jimmy and his family don't have the luxury of anymore: leisure.

accelerated dynamics is set in a sprawling city landmarked by arcades, shopping malls, theaters, toy company headquarters, and a massive school campus, all adjacent to a high-class beach resort. it's a stark contrast in atmosphere that was likely very intentional--accelerated dynamics is devoid of personality and wonder in comparison to bonita vista or even shinryu and features workplace ambience as its area theme and visuals of skeletal employees hanged outside the office windows. i think a lot of people were incredibly disappointed in mr grouse as a character to see that his humble beginnings had led him to this point, but i think the commentary runs a lot deeper and touches on this incredibly grave aspect of illness and thus jimmy's personal life that can be easy to miss for the trees; mr grouse tells jimmy before the fight that he used to dream of his banking business growing bigger and bigger and that now, with the advent of it having grown so big that it's now expanded into an entire enterprise, he understands the power and influence that money can buy him, but more than anything he now conceptualizes how terrifying it is to lose that wealth.

his dialogue after the fight is an admission that wealth completely and utterly eroded his morals and that jimmy should enjoy his innocence while he can--this is the incomprehensible, horrifying world of adulthood that he couldn't possibly understand at this age--and it's very clear that this is (one of) the intended angle(s) of this dungeon's theme where jimmy will never live long enough to understand the complications of growing older and losing his innocence to concepts like late stage capitalism, but mr grouse phrases his dialogue like an earnest request for reflection, something for jimmy to consider in a way that his brain can more easily deconstruct--think of all the things you could do if you had practically infinite wealth, and the only thing you had to worry about was not having money.

if jimmy and his family had infinite wealth, then maybe they'd be able to afford luxury resorts and theme parks and theaters and shopping trips again. if jimmy and his family had infinite wealth, maybe they wouldn't need to work themselves into an early grave over their child's deathbed.

[lastlycoris]

So my boss in the prison medical wing is Dr. Nora Fries (pronounced freeze). She's an MD-Ph.D, both a military doctor and a biomedical engineer specializing in prosthetics. It's said that all warsuits that the rich people keep for "personal protection" are derivatives from her initial work. Her criminal moniker is Dr. Fries, which kinda just shows how infamous she is - you know - that they just outright use her name.

As for why she's here, that goes back two decades ago according to personnel here. Mostly to warn me to not mention the former company GothCorp she and her husband (important later) worked at. Because this lady has two obsessions: to restore her husband from a cryogenic freeze without killing him and getting revenge on the company that caused it.

I don't really know about their personal lives. Just two strange people meeting in college and fell in love. Eventually their paths had it so they ended up working in the same company.

Her husband was a specialist in cryogenics, Ph.Ds in physics, engineering and chemistry. And the hopes were to make a chemical gel that could easily preserve pharmaceuticals and food at the end of a cold chain.

And then an accident occurred when the company decided to scuttle the project for insurance purposes and blame Mr. Fries. Of course, this information came out much later.

In any case, they still call those series of small inhabitable inter-connected islands, where the Factory was housed, the Ice Rink. Because every so often, a vat of what's being called Friesium would rupture and instantly send everything in the area to below liquid nitrogen temperatures, which is not survivable.

Logs showed that one of the researchers noticed something was wrong with the chemical vats and sounded the alarm for evacuation to get everyone else out. The six that remained, including Dr. Fries's husband, were required to prevent the entire factory from freezing everyone instantly.

People do not survive getting frozen solid without help - if the initial freeze doesn't kill them, the defrosting will. However, logs apparently showed that Fries's husband had injected everyone with an experimental cryoprotectant fifteen minutes prior to the cryoexplosion - preventing the nastier effects like water expanding to ice to rupture cells - and a single outgoing phone call to his wife.

The rest is history. Dr. Fries makes the first prototype warsuit in three days, a suit impervious to cold and sudden pressure changes from extreme temp drops, and marches in to retrieve the lab members. Ferris Boyle, the president, tries to pull the plug stating it's futile and expensive to continue keeping the six on ice, and Dr. Fries offers the cryosuit design to make payment. He accepts and then goes back on their deal stating it never happened - and then claims it was an attempt at a bribe to prevent him from revealing that it was her husband and lab team that sabotaged the factory.

And I guess that was the moment where she descended into supervillainry.

It was quiet for a week as the Board argued about the PR nightmare pulling the plug would do, even if they claimed these were the ones that caused it.

Then someone armed to the teeth in a shiny warsuit decided to break into GothCorp with a bunch of goons to retrieve the pods - who were funded by the money she got for selling a simplified warsuit design to different criminal factions and companies . And then she declared war on GothCorp.

Now this is twenty years ago before this era of superheroes and supervillains. That warsuit was the pinnacle of high tech at its time, and it singlehandedly brought the military to the city after a month. Why they didn't come sooner was because she was very selective with the damage. Only to GothCorp assets and zero casualties beyond the broken bones people dumb enough to physically get in a walking tank's way.

She singlehandedly brought the company to near bankruptcy. And the military only helped because the company took up a military contact on a very big deficit. Otherwise, they would've just treated it as a civil matter for the police to deal with. After all, no dead people, damage only to private property, and it wouldn't look nice if the military got their asses handed over to them too.

It wasn't even the military that got her in the end. It was some fresh detective named Gordon, now Commisioner, who figured out where she's hiding because running cryogenic preservation for six people took a stable large supply of electricity.

A deal was made between the two. Nora voluntarily surrendered after five days. Gordon discovered the system logs from the factory, showing the company's sabotage of its own factory. Wayne Industries makes a generous offer to preserving and eventually finding a cure for the frozen researchers.

And she's been researching cryogenics in prison every day ever since. The only prisoner. allowed her own laptop and allowed outside to visit her husband every month as part of the unusual deal made with the police.

Except now that Wayne Industries took a severe blow after their Tower collapsed and President kidnapped and probably dead, the frozen six apparently moved to some no-name company, and the decaying law and order of our city, it seems she's taking matters into her own hands because it looks like no one can keep the people she wants to protect safe. At least that's what it seems like.

Makes me wonder, if their places were switched, whether her husband would show the same single-minded devotion to her.

I certainly hope so.

[incorrect-jojolands-quotes]

Prior to Usagi's backstory where he mentioned his father's death and his mother and him living on the life insurance payout, I had a different headcanon for his backstory that explained why Meryl Mei insists he's a good kid despite constantly buying drugs from the gang and being an oddball.

Usagi is the oldest of many siblings ranging from those just a few years younger than him to toddlers. The Alohaoes have lived below the poverty line for generations and the family were no strangers to losing their members to gang life, drug addiction, crippling debt, or a combination of the three. Some of those members, like Usagi's parents, try to make an honest living as working class folks, but both end up working long hours to barely get by and government assistance can only go so far.

As the oldest sibling, Usagi ended up being de-facto man of the house, making sure his siblings get to school on time, attend their games and doctor's appointments, tucking them in at the end of the day, staying up when one or five get sick. Usagi's parents do love him, but there's that underlying obligation and guilt Usagi feels if he doesn't step up to help the family in any way, and his parents can only do so much after being out of the house for so long and splitting time between their kids for quality time.

Usagi knows his parents are working multiple dead-end jobs, unable to be promoted or change to better careers due to lack of education and opportunities, and they end up coming home late at night to be taken care of by him before doing it all over again the next day. While balancing his own studies and trying to go through the day of caring for his family and house, Usagi ends up being addicted to hard drugs out of necessity rather than pleasure. Coffee and nicotine patches can only keep you up and alert for so long, and sometimes there are days where sleep is not an option; the longest he's stayed up is 31.5 hours straight followed by crashing for 5 hours and waking up to resume his schedule as if nothing happened. Sometimes, the drugs suppress his appetite, which allows him to go long without eating in case he doesn't get a chance to sit down.

The worst part and another reason for him being addicted to drugs is the fact that he's a natural genius.

Upon realizing how intelligent and inquisitive their son is, his parents are also banking on him to be the first of the Alohaoes to graduate high school and go to college without a criminal record or other issues. If Usagi gets a well-paying degree and job, the Alohaoes can breathe easier in terms of finance and Usagi can become an example for future generations to eventually get the Alohaoes out of the poverty cycle. So, not only is Usagi taking care of his siblings but he ends up overseeing the household such as taxes and bills, talking to authorities to prevent them from escalating situations near his home, filling out forms for welfare and arguing with health insurance companies at a very young age. His family unconciously expect him to be able to do anything because of his intelligence and they're hoping his grades would allow him to receive free scholarships among other things.

Like many who experienced living below the poverty line, the idea of mental health and attempts to ease this load while the system is intentionally working against you is met with "just deal with it" instead. Finding someone to vent to or provide help is difficult and could cause more harm than good if someome takes things out of context. Someone called CPS on them once because Usagi made an offhand remark on how tired he was; Usagi had to stop the case from escalating in fear that his siblings would be separated "because he made a stupid mistake" and feels guilty for what he did despite being honest at the time.

The drugs Usagi takes doesn't only keep him up but also hide who he really is. While he appears jovial, irresponsible, and amicable on drugs, he's the complete opposite when sober. I imagine him to be like Fugo: cynical, bitter, easy to anger but unable to express it. The bodysuit he wears is intentionally fitted not only to minimize issues caused by skin irritation and bug bites (seeing how he has that in his backpack) but it also doubles as a calming compression suit to ease his bottled emotions. It could be hiding other things but who knows. He's good at hiding things... too good.

Usagi doesn't want to lash out on his loved ones nor show what he's going through. He keeps himself high to maintain his fake persona and remain likeable, but it would only be so long before he breaks and shows who he really is.

Anyways, what do y'all think?

[fff777]

reaction part 1 to 7llin' with dream episode 2

I thought this was supposed to come out yesterday according to the schedule but whatever

Oh this is a long one, it's half an hour long

I know Chenle likes wearing sunglasses a lot but him wearing sunglasses indoors ^^;; Mark's like "whatever you say dude"

Mark and Chenle: *Deadass arguing about whether Chenle wore sunglasses at rehearsal* Jeno: Let's focus, guys.

Chenle basically does the grocery shopping by himself

Meanwhile, Haechan, Renjun, Jaemin, and Jisung are just eating ramyeon and taking cute pictures

I forgot to mention this last time, but Jisung's bright orange hair reminded me of Chenle's bright orange hair during Boom. I think it's the same shade.

Throwback Thursday indeed

Pretending they were in a music video when the sunlight hit in a very aesthetically pleasing way

Renjun's hair had red streaks but I could only tell in certain lighting

The 'at home' group was discussing how the grocery group was doing and whether they'd need to call them to help and they were already coming to the conclusion that it'd be fine because Chenle was there and he'd know when it was necessary to call them.

Chenle looking for cooking wine cutely and thanking the camera person cutely when they point it out for him

Jeno was complaining about the guys being loud and noisy and embarrassing before and now Mark's just straight up yelling across the supermarket

Sensory overload for Jeno who's in the middle of Mark and Chenle's conversation

I always get creeped out by how many crew are filming them and this is no different ^^;;

Dancing in the middle of their discussion about food

YES JAEMREN GIRLIES WE ARE BAQ!!!

Mark: The Dreamies are scary

Red ginseng makgeolli sounds like something for dads ToT

Chenle is so excited at the thought of feeding the Dreamies red ginseng makgeolli...it's probably really bitter lol.

This makes me respect him as a chef lol. You need veggies!!!!

Jeno: We need spam Mark: Spam, where are you Yes Mark, I'm sure spam will grow a set of wheels and roll right over to you

As a person who only cooks on occasion, I relate to this so deeply lol

The at home crew now discussing what it would mean if someone said "this made me think of you" and sent you a picture of the moon.

Chenle: I don't want to buy this for Jisung since he asked me for it You absolute brat. They were looking for the ramyeon that Jisung wanted.

Jeno: It's not good to try things As spoken by a true homebody

Back to the moon conversation lol

Haechan said he'd just be confused by the moon picture and ask for an explanation

Jaemin said he wouldn't look at the text, but they clarified that in this situation, it was from someone he loved, and he did a 180 and said he'd call them and talk for 3 hours X'D 對人不對事

Renjun is the only valid man. OF COURSE THE MOON IS ROMANTIC!!!

Ok new situation presented by Haechan: What if someone you loved was involved in a very minor traffic accident? What would you say? Jisung: Was it your fault? Renjun: Are you okay? Jaemin: (1) Are you okay? (2) Do you know the insurance company's phone number? Jaemin once again showing he is the most practical adult ever lol.

Grocery store team still deciding on whether to buy the massive green onion

Apparently green onion parks are a thing??? What?? I want to go???? Are you allowed to chop your green onions from there??

Interesting that there's a small clothing section at the entrance/exit of the supermarket lol

Bickering about carrying groceries in bags vs. boxes all the way out the door

Mark was literally shook by how nice the sky looked when they left the supermarket lol

There she is <3

It's so cold that you can see Jisung's breath as he speaks

I think the subtitles at this point are starting to be a little bit off (in terms of timing) and so it's a bit hard to focus ^^;;

Jaemin just started the campfire and then dipped to let Jisung have a dramatic soliloquy lol.

Jisung: Jaemin didn't take off his gloves so he's coming back

Renjun looking down at him lol

Jaemin was just standing inside warming up but of course still keeping an eye on Jisung. And he couldn't help but open the door when he watched Jisung doing something wrong lol. This is such mom energy XD

Oh, it's something to make the fire change colour

It amuses me that you can see both Renjun and Jaemin watching Jisung as he struggles alone XD Mom energy all around

On his way to being a lumberjack. He doesn't wear flannel all the time for no reason.

Jisung tripping over the supplies on the ground instantly negating any hope of us thinking he was a manly lumberjack and not a clumsy baby.

Jaemin finally returns

Jaemin hyping up Jisung to add wood to the fire

Meanwhile Jaemin threw it in super fast and just walked back in with his hand in his pocket lmao.

Jaemin going back in to cook ramyeon. Didn't they just eat?

[dankusner]

The myth of fair

Meet the abstract term that never survives death

Suppose your mom and dad are married for 40 years, and then your mom dies.

She leaves a will naming your dad as her primary beneficiary, with you as the contingent beneficiary in the event your dad died before she did.

Your dad survives her, so you get nothing.

That's OK, you think.

You've seen your dad's will, and you are the beneficiary if your mom predeceases him.

When he dies, you will inherit the entire estate.

A year later, despite your fervent opposition, your dad remarries.

Your dad and that woman who-is-not-your-mother live happily together for several months, and then your dad dies.

Only then do you discover that he has changed his will and his accounts to leave everything to his new wife.

You are still mentioned in your dad's will, but only as acontingent beneficiary in the event his new wife does not survive him.

She does survive him, however, and so you get nothing from your dad's estate and, by extension, your mom's estate.

No family heirlooms, no money, no life insurance proceeds, no investments.

Not even the Ferrari you and your dad had lovingly restored decades ago and which he had always promised that you would get when he died.

You protest to everyone who will listen (and afew who will not) that being cut out of your dad's estate is not "fair."

Maybe not, but here is a spoiler alert: No one cares.

The probate judge certainly doesn't.

The judge deals in the law.

If your dad left a valid will naming the new wife as his primary beneficiary, then that's how it is.

The appraisal district, which stated on its website that your dad's home was in his name, certainly does not care.

It follows only what is in the deed records.

It does not interpret, it does not decide the legality of filed documents, and it darn sure does not deal in abstract concepts like "fair."

The Department of Motor Vehicles does not deal in fairness.

It deals in titles.

Your dad may have promised you the Ferrari, but, hey, he never changed the title into your name.

The Ferrari is part of your dad's estate and goes according to his will.

Do you know who else does not care?

The business world. To them, it is all a matter of contract.

That is why the life insurance company does not care about fairness.

It relies on beneficiary forms.

If your dad signed off on an insurance form naming his new wife as his beneficiary, then that is a done deal.

The bank does not care.

If your dad and his new wife set up their accounts as"joint with right of survivorship," then the new wife, as the survivor, gets the bank account.

If he kept his accounts in his name and just named her as the beneficiary, then the new wife gets it.

If he did not do either, then the account goes through his probate estate, which is controlled by his will. The wife still gets it.

The investment company does not care.

The same analysis used for bank accounts holds true for investment funds.

You can try whining that you are your dad' sonly child and therefore should be his heir, but guess what?

Your dad left avalid will that disposed of his entire estate, and that trumps the heirship laws.

"Fair" in probate court is a four-letter word.

Don't even bother arguing it.

[neeharlow]

This isn't a thing asking for money, I just need to vent about a few recent events. The first thing, my husband and I are struggling. He had a good paying job, about 6k a month. But this job was soul sucking and stressful for him. Now, if he had the correct amount of support staff it wouldn't be nearly as bad. Because he had worked from being a regular security guard to an account manager he knows the hardship that the guards go through. He knows they are paid like shit. He would often have to ask people to work over time. But that's the thing. He would ask. Not once did he ever try to force someone to work overtime. He himself would fill in the position if no one was willing to work. So he'd often have to go to work on Saturdays or Sundays which happened to be over an hour away and that's not with Los Angeles/Inland Empire traffic. His officers were often times very fucking childish and would argue or complain about the work they had to do. Which he understood, totally not paid enough to dal with that level of shit. But it's still the job. Do the freaking job. Anyway, the company lost the account so he lost the position. (Oh and once everyone found out they were losing their jobs they turned on him and started telling lies about him to HR which he thankfully was able to prove were all false.) Now he's back to being a normal guard. And he's honestly a lot happier with his post. Nights. Walking back and forth in a truck yard. He gets to listen stuff on his phone and even better he doesn't have to deal with people. The only problem is he went from making 6k a month to 2k. Which I know is more than a pot of people make. And he is very thankful he even has the job. But after car payments, rent, groceries, insurance... we're in the negative. I get 1300 a month from disability (aka why after 18 years together we aren't married). My account is for rent. Thank god we live with his parents so we're not at risk of losing the roof over our heads.. mostly. His dad is a powder keg sometimes and has been emotionally abusive to him and his brothers so he avoids him like the plague. We have 22k in debt due to stupid stupid choices on both our parts. (in the past he got addicted to Star Wars Galaxy of Heros and ended up racking up 25k worth of mobile microtransactions. We have since gotten out of that debt. My vice is fast food delivery.)

He is willing to take on another job until we get out of debt. But that will not end well. I refuse to let him work all day, sleep for three hours and then work all night. It's not healthy. He has BPD and ADHD so it's a real emotional struggle to just keep up with this job. He already lost his health insurance so he's also unmedicated. With my health issues (dead kidneys, failing liver, Bipolar, ADHD, and heart issues.) I cannot get a job even if I wanted one. No employer in this day and age would let me have two days a week for dialysis not to mention all the medical appointments I have to go to. Plus I'm on the transplant list for liver and kidney, if I get that call that's automatically at least a year off of said work.

I know there are people worse off than us. I'm not dumb enough to think our problems are world ending. We are safe. We have a roof over our heads. That's more than a lot of people have. And we will come out of this eventually. His parents are also struggling so we can't really rely on them for anything. I'm just worried about him.

I'll make a different post for the other thing. :/

[whatisonthemoon]

Widow Pays Church to End Husband’s ‘Suffering in Hell’ (1996)

Widow Pays Church to End Husband’s ‘Suffering in Hell’ Washington Post Foreign Service Sunday, August 4, 1996

Atsuko Nakajima was about 40 when her husband died of heart disease in February 1988, leaving her with a young daughter to raise. During her grieving, a neighbor stopped by to offer her condolences.

According to her lawyers and court documents, this is what followed:

The neighbor was a member of the Unification Church, but did not mention that at the time. She suggested going to an art show to take Nakajima’s mind off her tragedy. At the show, she persuaded the widow to pay about $2,200 for a painting. It later turned out the painting was purchased from a company owned by Unification Church members.

Two months later, the church member told Nakajima that a “very famous teacher” would be speaking nearby and invited her to come hear him. When the widow met the teacher, he began crying and trembling. “Your husband is descending. I can see your husband’s body suffering in hell. I cannot stop myself from shaking. Your husband is saying he wants you to donate” $50,000.

When Nakajima resisted, the teacher told her, “If you delay your answer, your husband’s body suffering in hell will appear to you in your dreams. You had better decide soon.” Nakajima paid the money.

Several weeks later, the church member and other church members told her that her husband was still suffering in hell. They persuaded her to help him by purchasing a small holy statue and two pairs of prayer beads for about $70,000. She bought a set of signature stamps, commonly used in Japan instead of a handwritten signature, for another $2,000.

She had turned over a total of about $124,200.

In June 1988, four months after her husband died, Nakajima went with several church members to an apartment, where she met a man who appeared to be praying. He told her: “Your husband is suffering in hell. Your husband desires [about $500,000]. But your husband says that at the least he wants you to donate [about $300,000].”

Nakajima replied that if she paid that much, it would drain the remainder of her husband’s life insurance payment. She said she needed the money to send her daughter to college. She was told that her husband died because of bad karma from his ancestors and that if she did not donate, her daughter’s life would be shortened by the same bad karma.

Fearing that the church members would never leave her alone, Nakajima relented. She turned over the cash to a church member who told her the money would be used in a Unification Church project to build a tunnel between Japan and South Korea. At a party at a Unification Church to celebrate her donation, she received a photograph of the Rev. Sun Myung Moon and his wife.

In 1989, Nakajima hired lawyers to sue the Unification Church. In settlements reached with several church members and church-related companies in 1991, she recovered the initial $124,200 she had donated.

In May 1994, a district court in Fukuoka prefecture ordered the church to pay back Nakajima’s $300,000 donation, calling the church’s actions “socially unacceptable.” The church appealed, arguing that the widow had donated of her own free will and that, even if she had not, the church could not be held responsible for the actions of individual followers.

In February, an appellate court upheld the lower court ruling. It said the church members were essentially employees of the church and that the church was liable for their actions. The church has appealed.

Masuo Oe, chief spokesman for the Unification Church in Japan, said the church was prepared to give the woman her money back. But he said the church contested the case because it believed the court was wrong to hold the church responsible for the actions of individual members who might have applied excessive pressure.

Oe said the pressure put on the woman to donate was not as malicious as she had described it in her testimony. “However,” he said, “I heard she was deprived of almost all her assets, so I think that was excessive.”

Oe said he believes Nakajima donated the money freely, then changed her mind and was encouraged to file her suit by lawyers with an anti-Unification Church agenda.

[the-firebird69]

So John remillard picked up the line and saying you bastard and stupid s*** at our son and her son is saying you are a f****** loser and he says what I lost is my stuff I said no you lost your people's stuff and they're all going after you and dead man it says oh that's how they look at it so he startst up again. He begins cursing and swearing and saying dumb things and finally accusing us in our son again so the Max starts saying we're going to get you that's all there is to it and it says you can't get me for what someone else is doing and he starts saying it over and over and we said this we're going to flush you out of every business that there is so people can see what you are you're useless bum and he goes your son is he used to spam and say it so he said we're just going to get rid of you then so we sent in units to just pull them out and arrest them and take them away and Max is doing that now

We have more companies but we can see the bugs are getting ridiculous and it's itchy for him but there's three more companies in California he says just to spit it out so I will

-Westwood hospital system has 1/3 of the West and it's gigantic and it has many hospitals in it outpatient inpatient and full service surgeries specialists and all managers of doctors and lots of lawyers cuz they suck at their job

-California specialists and our son had to run in with them and they refused to give him his money back for service is not rendered and we have a lawsuit against them and we're going after them actively what they're doing they keep taking pot shots and doing stupid things and really they owe money and they're getting beat up because of it because it's a good excuse for this particular area of the world

-Westover hospital systems and it's not as well known but he had to run in with them too his screwing around with his bowels trying to make him bleed out almost on one occasion by giving him the wrong medicine and he refused to take it and he told them so and they said we're not responsible for what happens to you and said well if I take it it doesn't work and it goes the other way then you are they said well you don't have to take it because it's your decision this is that's right it is my decision and I'm not coming here again and then they started threatening to shut his insurance down so now we're taking the hospital system over I'm going to fire everybody there every single employee is going to be out in the door today practically and they all say they have a place to go and we know it

Two assholes from each group walk by and they're fighting each other they hardly notice that he's saying he's going to fire them and that's how stupid it is they're grumpy old ignorant pieces of s*** and I'll tell you what they're more happy looking at these bobbles and screwing around with their women telling them they're ugly and fat and getting in fights and arguing it with them than anything else and yes sir fault that they're like that and mean they don't want to have a good time they want to sit here like spoiled nasty b****** it's horrible but anyways those companies are trying to acquire now and it'll probably mention them shortly

Thor Freya

We have several things happening here and all of them are gross these people are about to losers and that just about anybody in but then again one guy is trying to control it all and nobody's listening and the government is on crack cocaine we're going after them shortly for what they're doing and it's treason they themselves are committing and we're going to have for hands lots of them and Biden is not alone in that group it's falling all sorts of idiotic maneuvers what they're doing is farting their lives away and if it wasn't for us the clones would be ahead now that waging War on the clones and if they think they have everything and they're going after them and they're going after the light cycle facilities and they went to San Francisco today and they did run into a ton of them and the movie they live begins momentarily about 10 minutes it goes overnight and into tomorrow as does invasion of the body snatchers and it's about clones and they do say it in the saying we're doing it in an act and it's a dual purpose but really the screwing themselves completely. Another news the movie cesario has begun and there's a huge huge cast that show and they're all going out there now and what they've done so far is Dave discovered the pile of people that Jason kidnapped and stuck in the wall and they freed about half of them and they've been revived and those people are reporting what Jason was up to and they're going to town and they're calling their people in and they're arresting his globally because of what he's doing his forces were decimated this morning and they're fighting like cats and dogs out there and soon it's going to be over and they will have to pay the piper but really this is an obnoxious town full of people with huge egos and they're completely unaware of what's going on even though they have reports of massive losses huge numbers gone and giant numbers of hardware and other missing and they have absolutely no clue who they're talking to and what they're doing it's ridiculous and most of them are not qualified to be law enforcement anymore they weren't really before and now it's horrible we're going to town on them here especially people who walk by him like that guy with the gray shirt with a writing on the back and we're going to arrest him today for what he's doing and saying and the other guy is probably going to try and ignore it when it should be a little b**** is bothering him. It's a nightmare here it's hardly any organization the government is a piece of crap too and the precursor to Oblivion the movie is coming up and it is cesario and that is a precursor one of them and it is going on now the other is the removal of the diamonds will begin several movies at Kaiser the video and War of the worlds and that's going to happen after this cesario and after the Iran event top gun one and two and it will lead right into it because it's about Jason and the Argonauts and it's going to start very soon because all right it really don't have a choice. There's a lot of arguing going on and people are angry and want things to do and don't know what to do he says go tell Mac he needs something to do and he won't hire them and he says what do I do then I'll see you work for your group I guess this is they don't do anything BG and stuff has jobs and you can give them disconnected but why is it good and Max sometimes agrees cuz he has them to work but we don't now it's time for us to get to work these things are happening now but after the cesario scenario which is going to go fast is heat and hurricane heist and after hurricane heist is Guantanamo Bay and well that's after the top 10 series well that's going to happen in the next few days and then they get banished meaning they're going to be held out and there's going to be a blockade and they're going to use it for that purpose too

Olympus

[tiredoflyme]

Oh babe (gender neutral), I got you. I have what is technically late stage neurological lyme disease because I had it for 12 years before anyone picked the right test and figured out what was wrong with me. I've had it since I was 15 and now I'm 36. My lyme disease is legally able to drink. I was heavily treated once they discovered it (picc line, iv meds), but by that time it had already entered into the spots drugs can't get to (tendons, spine, etc). I only ever will be considered "in remission" because it can and does come back whenever it damn feels like.

More importantly, I've had every symptom you mentioned. While fatigue is a long term compliant for me, I also have joint pain and stiffness and muscle aches. In fact, my "lyme journey" started at the orthopedic office. I've been on celebrex since I was 20 for "unspecified joint pain." During/after treatment, one of my major symptoms from my herx reaction was loss of fine motor control. I couldn't type, I couldn't write, I held my fork like a small child. I had to go through very specific physical therapy to regain my skills and hand strength. You're right that it's not conventional. I've never met a lyme patient who was. It sounds like you have neurological lyme, aka it got into your nervous system.

Here's how you deal with it... aka here's how I dealt with it...

First and foremost, you get yourself an LLMD. They can be a lyme/chronic illness specialist (not usually covered by insurance but sometimes very worth it) or a regular MD who is knowledgeable about lyme. Try using http://www.ilads.org. They're the good guys in the lyme controversy aka they believe you. Under their "patients" section, they have a doctor search but also how to apply for disability benefits.

Once you get a main doctor you can trust, have them recommend you to specialists who will document and treat your individual symptoms. Like I said, I had an orthopedic doctor first prescribe me celebrex. My neurologist confirmed peripheral neuropathy in my arms and hands. He put me on neurontin/gabapentin (some people don't like it but it worked miracles for me). I have a GI for my stomach issues, a cardiologist who monitors my POTS, a gynecologist who treats my PCOS and hormonal imbalance. There's more but all of these things are caused by lyme disease. It can affect every system in your body and cause all kinds of secondary disorders.

When you apply for social security disability, you will be denied at first because that's what they do to everyone. Then you appeal with your disability lawyer who collects all the documentation from your providers and hopefully wins your case.

Also you mentioned disability aids. That trustworthy doctor can write you a script for one and then it's arguing with your insurance company. They might have to rewrite the script so you don't end up with a hospital level wheelchair but it is possible. As my disability and symptoms got worse, I went from cane to walker to rollator to wheelchair. Sometimes I can make it without the wheelchair, sometimes I can't, depends on the day.

I have so much more I could throw your way but this post has been long enough. Please message me with any questions you have or if you need advice or just to commiserate with someone who understands what you're going through.

I genuinely feel so confused and lost with my disability.

I have post treatment lyme disease, I was tested positive for lymes years after gaining treatment. But all of my symptoms are unconventional. They're all things that have been loosely linked to lymes but I don't have the conventional symptoms. I have fatigue but it's not my main overbearing symptom like it is for most people. I never had the bullseye rash and my main problem has always been joint and muscle pain and stiffness. I have tics and recently I've been having a horrible deterioration of fine motor skills. I can walk but I often have to choose between activities. If I am at a full day activity that's not very laborious, I might not be able to participate in my band or theatre. I've always had to choose between school and other things or work and other things.

One day of work for 4 hours leaves me bedridden for a day. I've been unable to draw and put on clasp necklaces or any other fine motor skills. I want a wheelchair to conserve energy and not be hurting all the time but ptlds isn't a "real" disability so I can't get one that best suits my needs covered by insurance and I'm not sure I'm able to get one on my own.

All of this is just, not conventional to ptlds. I feel like there's something else going on but I don't know how to get doctors to test me. I don't know how to keep them from saying no we don't need to test for that. I feel like lyme is not all that this is and I want to be able to have a "real" disability and be seen and accommodated and I just feel so lost and hopeless.

I'm at the best mentally I've been ever, but my physical health is just getting worse and worse with no answers.

I don't know what to do and everything just feels so hopeless.

[illgiveyouahint]

🤬🤬🤬 God i hate the transphobic healthcare system in my country.

So first my trans friend was misgendered at a psych ward few months back which only traumatized him even more rather than actually helped him.

And now he now had to go to a hospital because he has this medical problem that happens to people with ovaries

and so he's at a gynaecology ward but because he's a man they don't want to put him into a room with other women, and so they're putting him in a special private room, but they say he has to pay for this private room even though it's not his decision but theirs. It's such bullshit!!

[caelesjjk]

somewhere between the lines | KNJ

⟶ title: somewhere between the lines

⟶ au: exes to lovers

⟶ trope(s): lives at the office ceo/chief

⟶ pairing: namjoon x f. Reader

⟶ genre: romance, smut, angst

⟶ rated: 18+

⟶ wc: 9.8k

⟶ dialogue prompt: “You still look beautiful in red.”

⟶ warnings: mentions of divorce and loneliness, Namjoon is a girl dad (yes i think that needs its own warning), mentions of regret, smut in the forms of: oral (male and female receiving), breast play, multiple orgasms, multiple positions, tons of kissing, tons of teasing, unprotected sex (lets be smarter than that tho), fingering, bit of an impregnating kink

⟶ summary: you can hardly wait for your date New Year’s Eve. It’s the first time you’ve felt confident enough to dress up with the intention of letting someone who isn’t your ex husband, undress you at the end of the night.

Mother Nature has other plans for you though, bringing a very unwelcome snow storm and your ex husband to your door. But perhaps this snow storm is what the two of you really needed.

A/N: hellllooooo lovelies, this fic is my contribution to the wonderful Resolution Revolution collab event hosted by Amelia @knjsnoona and Ash @jimilter! Find the masterlist for the collab here.

Is this fic a bit cheesy and unrealistic? Yes. Do we all just need that sometimes? also yes lol. Hope you’ll enjoy a bit of dad!Joon and leave me some feedback if you can!

_______________________________________________________________

Six months. That’s how long it’s been since you signed your name on the dotted line of the divorce papers.

Five months since your middle daughter, HeeJin, who was named after her fathers best friend had her third birthday party, where you and Namjoon had to put on your happy faces and pretend it didn’t hurt to see each other.

Four months since your one year old daughter had her first double ear infection and Namjoon had to meet you at the hospital in the middle of the night. You argued over medical insurance and who’s fault it was that she was sick. You were both in the anger stage of dealing with the grief you felt from the divorce.

Three months since the two of you had to attend your five year old daughters play at her preschool. Both of your families were there and it was the most awkward night of your life, but the happy faces were on in full force once again and you made sure that everything went perfectly.

Two months since you stopped wondering what he was doing every night and whether he missed you as much as you missed him. If he was lying awake and losing sleep over you. 

One month since it stopped feeling like there was a hole the size of your heart gaping in your chest. Time truly healed wounds but this one would never fully close. And you know it was all avoidable. It never had to come to this. 

You had gotten married too soon. Too young. When you found out you were pregnant with Mi-Joon, your families insisted that marriage was the only option. And even though both of you knew it was too soon, you had agreed. 

You got married as quickly as you could throw together a small ceremony for just your family. Your hands shook as you placed rings on each other’s fingers and said I do. It was terrifying and yet, something told you that maybe this would be okay. Namjoon was a good man and when your daughter was born he proved to be an exceptional father. He was made to be a father, really.

The two of you had worked so hard in college to earn degrees. You weren't expecting to get pregnant or get married so quickly after finishing. But what you expected even less, was for Namjoon to take a huge risk at starting his own company and for that company to become so incredibly successful. He was incredible, always a step ahead of his competitors and always the kindest person anyone would need to deal with.

It didn’t take long for you to get pregnant again after MiJoon was born. Namjoon’s huge success with his company allowed you to stay home and not work. That was wonderful at first, but you began to feel like you didn’t really know who you were. You didn’t feel like you were meant to just be a wife and a mother. But you did your best and found bits of happiness in your daughters and in getting to know more and more about the man you married.

But even when things seemed like they were going so well on the outside, you were so incredibly lonely on the inside. It wasn’t about you anymore.

Eventually, you started to feel like you were losing yourself. That your only identity was being a mother and that was eating away at you while Namjoon was working day and night. He was rarely home in fact, and when he was home he was cooped away in his office or on the phone. Deep down, you know that he tried, but you wanted him to try harder.

He worked hard and he was sweet to you no matter how frustrated you became. The divorce was never about you not feeling loved by him, it was about you not feeling like you could love yourself when you were with him, and he didn’t deserve that.

When your youngest baby, Sena, was born you thought maybe that was the missing piece to everything. And in a way it was. Her birth made you realize that you wanted to be more for them. You wanted to use the degree you worked so hard to earn, show your girls that their mommy was capable of anything. 

Discussing your desire to start looking for a job was a touchy subject with Namjoon. He wasn’t against the idea, but in his mind it just didn’t make sense for you to do so. 

It was after several months of losing that argument that you decided time apart may be what was necessary for you both to realize what you wanted. But that time apart led to the realization that things just couldnt work like this anymore. Mostly for you. Namjoon fought to keep you together until the last moment when he signed his name on the dotted line of the divorce papers, failure and regret heavy on his shoulders.

He moved out of the home the two of you had built together, saying that he wanted you to have everything.The huge house. The car he had bought for you.  He wouldn’t hear any arguments about that. 

What killed you both the most, was having to split your time with your daughters. Packing three little bags every week, diapers, bottles, stuffies, shoes. Sena was just now barely one, but they were all so little, you hoped they wouldn’t remember any of the bad and only remember that both of their parents tried so hard to make sure they never went without a single thing.

Now, after six months of being divorced, you had finally decided that it was okay for you to date. It had felt wrong until now, but if you were being honest, it still felt slightly wrong. But you agreed to a date with a friend of your brothers for New Year’s Eve.

“Are you going to sleep with him?” Your brother asked on FaceTime as you continued curling your hair.

“Jimin! Don’t be such a perv.” You stuck your tongue out at him before looking back at the mirror.

“It’s just a question, you prude! You haven’t gotten laid in over six months, I think it’s time to brush the cobwebs off.” Jimin smiled like the little demon that he is.

“Jesus, Jimin.” You laughed a little. “I’m not…against the idea. Just not sure I’m ready.” You stood back and adjusted your dress in the mirror.

“Because you’re still in love with Namjoon?” Jimin asked in all seriousness.

“We have three kids together, Jimin, of course there’s love there.” 

“That’s not what I said, ____.” Jimin rolled his eyes and you watched him on your screen as he got up and went to look out his window. “The snow is really starting to come down. The streets are totally covered.”

“Really? It was barely coming down when I came into the bathroom.” You looked out the bathroom window and confirmed what your brother had told you. “Namjoon is supposed to pick up the girls any minute.”

“Hope he has a tank to get them back to his place. I don’t want to find out my princess nieces were in an accident.” Jimin gives you a strict look. Just as you were about to reply to him, your phone dinged with a notification. You opened the text to see it was from your date.

“Fucking perfect. He canceled.” You toss your phone onto the bathroom counter when tears start to prick your eyes.

“I’m still here, don’t toss me around like that.” Jimin's voice says from the counter.

“I’m so glad I put on all this make up and this stupid dress just to get canceled on.” You just want to rip the red silky material off and never look at it again.

“The weather is rather shitty, jahmae. You can’t blame him too much.” Jimin frowns when he sees your tears. “I’ll come over tomorrow and build a snowman with the girls okay? I’ll walk if I have to.” 

“You live like 10 miles away, Jimin.” You tried not to laugh picturing your brother falling into a snowbank.

When Jimin started to talk again, your front doorbell rang, cutting him off. You sighed. Of course Namjoon was able to make it here.

“I’ll call you tomorrow, bub.” You blow a kiss to your brother and he waves as you hang up the call and make your way to the front of the house.

You smile as you pass through the living room where your three little girls are playing and watching a movie. Sena claps her chubby baby hands as MiJoon and HeeJin dance and sing along to the song on the TV.

Taking a deep breath and carefully dabbing at the tears at the corners of your eyes, you open the door to find your ex-husband on the other side, his eyes finding yours and immediately filling with concern. You stepped aside to let him in.

“What’s wrong?” He asks quietly, running his hand through his hair and knocking away the tiny white snowflakes that stuck out against his soft dark hair.

“Nothing. I’m fine.” You close the front door and walk back towards the living room, but Namjoon grabs your hand to stop you.

“You think I don’t know when you’re upset?” His fingers lace with yours in a comforting way, not holding on tightly in case you wanted to pull away.

“Just a change of plans for the night, that’s all. Come see the girls.” You squeeze his hand once and then drop it, Namjoon sighs and follows you to the living room where he can hear his girls singing and laughing.

“Daddy!” HeeJin screeches and almost knocks Sena over as she runs towards Namjoon. He smiles widely, dimples appearing in his cheeks as he drops down onto his knees to greet them.

Sena waddles her way over, laughing maniacally when she sees her daddy. Namjoon holds HeeJin with one arm and scoops Sena up with the other, kissing her baby cheeks. You loved the sight of it. The way he was so perfect with them.

“Hi daddy.” MiJoon said a little sadly. In all the commotion, you hadn’t noticed her hang back a little.

“Hello my little gongjunim, what’s the matter?” Namjoons head tilts to the side a little as he watches your oldest daughter frown.

“I don’t want to go, Daddy. I want you to stay here.” MiJoon’s little bottom lip quivers slightly as she looks between the two of you.

Your heart breaks slightly…completely, honestly. MiJoon was so smart, and as much as you had hoped that she wouldn’t catch on…wouldn’t understand just yet, she most certainly did.

“You don’t want to come to my house?” Namjoon asked, dodging a slobbery hand from Sena.

“Will mommy come to your house?” She asked.

“No, gongjunim, mommy won’t be coming to my house.” 

MiJoon sniffled her nose and then ran into Namjoon’s arms between her sisters. He hugged them all to his big chest tightly, kissed their heads and then looked up at you. It was the “you did this” look. You bit your bottom lip but fresh tears rolled down your cheeks anyways.

You looked away from Namjoon and made your way over towards the window, looking out to see that several more inches of snow was sticking to the ground and roads and it was still coming down. There wasn’t a car in sight, just your neighbor shoveling his driveway for no reason at all. 

“You can’t take them out on the roads like this. It’s too dangerous.” You wipe your cheeks again and turn back to face Namjoon.

“It’s my weekend with them, what do you suggest I do?” Namjoon stood up from the ground, brushing off the front of his jeans as the girls started heading back towards the living room. You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose.

“It’s too dangerous for you as well, Joon. Just stay. For tonight.” You step back into the entryway and take off your heels, tossing them in the corner by the shoe wrack.

“You’re okay with that?” He asks as you walk past him.

“Yeah. The girls will be really excited.” You give him a small smile and the two of you go into the living room after Namjoon takes off his coat and hangs it by the door.

“Is it time for us to go?” HeeJin asked.

“No baby, the roads are too dangerous, so daddy is going to stay here for tonight.” Namjoon sits on the couch and the two older girls squeal with excitement, tackling him back and laughing as he tickles them.

You smile at them, picking up Sena and resting her on your hip. She plays with the low hem of your silky dress, reminding you that you were still wearing it. Such a waste of a good dress. You hand Sena her sippy cup of milk and start to walk to the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” You hear Namjoon ask, MiJoon almost kicking him in the face as he sits up to look at you.

“To make dinner. Not sure what I have, I didn't go grocery shopping because I thought they would be at your house all weekend.” You’re already dreading trying to throw something together.

“I’ll help you. Watch the movie, okay gongjunims? We’ll have dinner soon.” Namjoon sits the older two on the couch and covers them with a blanket before following you to the kitchen, where he takes the baby from your arms.

“I think she’s finally cut all of her teeth now. Not so much drool.” You open the fridge to see what you have to make and Namjoon spins Sena around a few times before he sits her in her high chair.

“You are the princess of drool, aren’t you baby girl?” He playfully pokes her chubby cheeks and she giggles and claps her hands. 

“My daddy!” Sena squealed. Always calling him ‘my daddy’ never just daddy. 

“Do you still like stir fry?” You asked, rummaging through the vegetable drawer in the fridge.

“It’s only been six months, of course I like stir fry.” He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest.

“It was just a question, Namjoon.” You take out some peppers, broccoli, and squash from the drawer, slamming it closed a little harder than necessary.

“I’m sorry. Sometimes you act like we’ve been split up for years. Like you don’t know anything about me anymore.” His eyebrows scrunch together and jaw sets a little tighter.

You know that he’s right. But sometimes in your mind you have been split up for years. You hated that, because you loved him so much. Love him so much. That never stopped.

“Chop these.” You say with slight annoyance, pulling a knife from the block on the counter and sitting it by the cutting board for him.

“You’re frustrating as fuck sometimes, ____.” Namjoon comes around the kitchen island to stand in front of the cutting board you had gotten out.

“Me?” You scoff. “I saw that look you gave me earlier when the girls were upset. That was a dick move if I ever saw one.” You scowl at him before turning around to the cabinet, spotting the rice on the high shelf. You reach for it to no avail, your annoyance starting to burn hot. You’re about to crawl up onto the counter when Namjoon is suddenly in your space, his body trapping you against the counter as he reaches over you and grabs the box of rice.

“What have you been doing without me around, hm?” His deep voice coats your skin like a warm breeze. Namjoon sits the rice down on the counter behind you, palms pressing to countertop on either side of your hips as he lowers his face to look at you.

You feel frozen and immediately aroused. Kim Namjoon is the only man that has a direct line to that traitorous place between your thighs. The scent of his cologne engulfs your senses and brings back so many memories. He always wore the same one, the one you bought him for your first Christmas together. You want to touch him so badly, feel his skin, run your fingers through his hair. 

“I’ve been managing.” You manage to croak out, trying to keep your eyes off of his lips. The softest, most perfect lips you’ve ever felt.

“You still look beautiful in red.” Namjoon’s long fingers brush at the hem of your dress, tickling the skin of your thigh. Your breath shakes at the feeling.

“Namjoon…” Your hands ache at your sides from balling them too tightly into fists. It was taking all the restraint you had not to touch him.

“Nothing on underneath, right? You never did when you wore these little dresses…” He steps closer, his chest level with your face. It would be so easy to press your lips against it.

“Not sure that’s your business anymore…” Your heart was beating so fast you thought it might give out.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” His fingers start pushing your dress up your thighs. You should stop this. But fuck, you didn’t want to. “Who were you wearing this for?” Namjoon asked and your skin went cold again.

“I had a date.” You look up and meet his eyes, his jaw tightening again.

“And you were going on that date with no panties?” His nose came down and skimmed your forehead. “What a lucky man he would have been.”

“I wasn’t going with the intention of sleeping with him.” You breathed.

“But?” Namjoon questioned, lips brushing your temple as he spoke.

“My daddy!” Sena cried from her high chair. The two of you jumping apart at the sound of her little voice. You took a deep breath, stepping around Namjoon to see your baby.

“Yes baby, your daddy.” You look over your shoulder at him to make sure that he heard, watching one of his infuriating dimples appear when he smiles.

If he was going to do shit like this, you could as well. You weren’t going to lie and act like you didn’t want him. Thinking about Namjoon was the only way you could get yourself off when you were alone in your room or in the shower. He would make you cum so hard when you were together that you knew no one else would ever come close to making you feel that way again. 

And six months with only your fingers and vibrator was enough to make you practically salivate at the sight of him chopping vegetables in your kitchen. Big biceps straining against the tight confines of the black sweater he was wearing tucked into a pair of black jeans. It looked like someone had painted them onto his ass and thighs, they were so tight.

“Does she want some of this?” Namjoon dangled a piece of broccoli between his fingers and broke you from your dirty thoughts.

“What?” You asked, clearing your throat. He smiled knowingly.

“Does Sena want some of this to gnaw on while she waits for dinner?” He repeats, bringing a few pieces over and sitting them on her high chair tray.

“Oh. Yeah.” You moved out of his way and went back to the stove to make the rice.

Namjoon finished chopping the vegetables and then went back into the living room to play with MiJoon and HeeJin while you finished cooking everything together. 

When it was finished, you plated everything for the girls and for Namjoon and sat everything around the table. Something you always used to do. After it was all set, you walked to the doorway of the living room, stopping for a moment to watch as your daughters wrapped feather boas and sat pink sparkly crowns on top of their daddy’s head. 

“How do I look?” Namjoon asked them in a silly voice, making the girls cackle as they fussed over him.

“You’re so beautiful, daddy!” HeeJin squealed when Namjoon tickled her sides.

“Beautiful enough for you to give me kisses, gongjunim?” He grabbed them both of them in his arms and started making goofy kissy noises while they screeched again.

“No, daddy! You should give kisses to mommy.” MiJoon put one of her hands against Namjoon’s cheek while he sat there speechless for a moment. You waited in the doorway, curious to what he might say.

“I’m not sure mommy would like that, gongjunim.” He reached up and smoothed the wild hairs on her head a few times.

“But why?” She asked. “Don’t you love mommy?”

“Of course I do. But there are different kinds of love, and mommy and I have to love each other differently now.” He pulled her in a little closer and kissed her forehead. And before she could ask anymore questions or you started to cry again, you walked into the room.

“Dinners finished. You should bring them in to eat.” Your voice was soft and a little strained, Namjoon immediately looking back at the sound.

“Alright, little gongjunims, let’s go have some food, shall we?” He stood up, taking off his boas and crowns before picking them both up in his strong arms and bouncing them playfully on each hip. He mouths the word ‘sorry’ in your direction and you smile reassuringly, letting him know everything was fine.

“I’m going to change before I eat. I’ll be right back.” You give a kiss to each of the girls in his arms before heading for your bedroom to change out of the dress you’d been wearing.

You knew he was going to follow you. You wanted him to. You could feel his eyes on you as you opened the drawers of your dresser to grab a pair of panties. 

“Want to help me with this?” You said without looking behind you. You knew he would be standing in the doorway, arms over his chest as he leaned against the frame.

“If that’s what you want.” He replied, the sound of his voice making you shiver. 

“Please. Can’t reach the zipper.” You tried to compose yourself, counting each step he took against the hardwood floor.

“Pity this dress didn’t have the chance to serve its purpose.” His long fingers came up to brush your hair over your shoulder.

“You don’t mean that.” You whispered, not trusting your voice at all.

“Know me so well, nae sarang.” His lips pressed to the back of your neck at your hairline while his fingers pulled the zipper down your back as slowly as he could manage. That nickname that you hadn’t heard in so long making your heart ache. My love.

“Joon…” Your hands that had been resting at your sides reach back to grip at his denim clad thighs. 

“Even if it’s just for tonight…let me have you. I never asked for anything when you left…but I’m asking you now, to let me have you one last time.” His thick lips make a wet path down your neck and over your shoulder.

The want in the pit of your stomach was raging. You wanted him…needed him. But it was never going to be to be just one last time. 

“Okay.” As you gave your answer he let the dress fall off of your body to pool around your ankles in a puddle of red silk, leaving you completely naked.

“After we eat dinner…get the girls ready for bed…asleep and dreaming…I’m going to take you on every surface this house has to offer. Make it impossible for any man that comes after me to make you cum…” His hands run down your sides and over your hips while his teeth nip your ear. You can’t help the moan that slips from your mouth. Namjoon chuckles quietly against your ear, his hand snaking down your front to the space between your legs.

“Shit…” Your head falls back against his shoulder as he dips one long finger between your folds.

“You’re dripping already…so fucking wet.” He practically growled in your ear. You moved your ass back to grind against his crotch but he stopped you. “Be good, nae sarang.” He playfully slapped one of your ass cheeks, stepping away from you and popping his middle finger that had been inside you into his mouth. You gasped, spinning around to look at him. He had the biggest smile on his face and you glared.

“Kim Namjoon!” You yelled, moving to smack his arm but he dodged it.

“Put your clothes on, baby. I’ll see you downstairs.” He winked and left you alone in your room to wonder what the hell had just happened.

Slightly annoyed and certainly sexually frustrated, you grab the cheekiest pair of panties you can find and head for your closet. You kneel down and start digging through a tub that you know has a few of Namjoon’s shirts that he had left behind when he moved out of the house. 

You find the plain white Fear of God shirt that he always wore, you used to wear it to sleep almost every night until the last few months when you thought it was time to let it go. You packed it away, not yet having the heart to get rid of it completely.

After throwing your hair up in a claw clip, you head back downstairs. The girls are all giggling and eating their dinner while Namjoon watches them with love and adoration on his face. HeeJin uses her fork and makes airplane noises until Namjoon opens his mouth and lets her feed him. You smile and take the seat next to him, making sure the T-shirt of his that you’re wearing rides up your thighs when you cross your legs.

“Mommy?” MiJoon interrupts your thoughts. 

“Yes, sweet girl?” You turn your attention to your daughter.

“Can we stay up until the clock says 12? It’s a holiday!” She drops a bite of her food onto the floor as she talks, simply ignoring it and getting another bite. One of those times you wished you would have agreed to get them a dog when Namjoon suggested it.

“That’s very late for little girls, sweetheart. I think it’s best to keep your bedtime.” You reach over and pat her head gently.

“Will daddy be gone when we wake up?” MiJoon sniffles.

“No, baby. Daddy wants to stay for breakfast, right daddy?” Your eyes meet Namjoons and he smiles.

“Of course I do.” He turns to look at the girls as they giggle happily. Namjoon raises a questioning eyebrow but you wave him off.

After you’ve all eaten dinner, the girls run back to the living room to play. Namjoon wipes Sena’s face until she starts to whine, then releases her to toddle after her sisters. You start to gather up the dishes but his presence behind you makes you pause.

“Was I not supposed to notice that this is my shirt? Or that you’re wearing the tiniest pair of panties I’ve ever seen underneath it?” You feel his fingertips ghost up the back of your thigh, almost making you drop the dishes in your hands.

“You left me naked upstairs. Two can play that game.” You grab the dishes again, standing up straight to walk past him to the sink.

“I can do those.” Namjoon says as he follows you to your destination. “You made the food after all.” 

“Thanks.” You sit the dishes down in the sink and watch as Namjoon pushes up the sleeves of his soft sweater up to his elbows. You’re going to need wine for this.

You pry your eyes away from the way the veins in his arms snake under his sweater long enough to open the fridge and pull out a bottle of white wine. After grabbing a glass from the cabinet you pause and turn to your ex husband.

“Want some?” You hold up the bottle of wine and shake it gently. Namjoon smiles when he looks up to see what’s in your hand.

“That would be great.” He says, you nod, grabbing another glass from the cabinet and pouring one for each of you. 

After taking a long drink from your glass, you pick up Namjoon’s glass and sit it on the side of the sink. He says a quick thank you and you move over to one of the stools at the kitchen island, crossing your legs tightly as you watch him continue to wash the dishes. Muscles of his back swimming in ripples under his fitted sweater and disappearing into the band of his jeans. God his ass looked impeccable in those jeans. You shook yourself out of it, pouring more wine into your glass and taking another gulp. 

“Help me out for a second?” He says, motioning you over with his head. You stand and walk a few feet to the sink. “Hold the glass up to my mouth so I can get a drink?” 

“Are you serious?” You laugh.

“Or you could transfer it from your mouth to mine?” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and you pinch his side, making him laugh.

“That fucking hurt!” He laughs again.

“You deserved it! Don’t be such a perv.” You roll your eyes.

“You used to love doing that.” His smile drops, suddenly realizing what he said.

“Yeah, well, that was when we were happily married, wasn’t it?” You look away from him, taking another drink from your glass.

“Were we?” Namjoon snaps back and you glare at him. God you wanted to slap his stupid beautiful face sometimes.

“Just take a drink so I can go check on the girls.” You grab his glass off of the counter and hold it up to his mouth, a little more aggressively than necessary making him pull back slightly to eye you suspiciously.

Namjoon licks his lips quickly, but you don’t miss it, before gently putting his lips on the glass so you can tip the glass up and pour the liquid into his mouth. His eyes meet yours over the top of the glass, staring into your soul and setting it on fire. You watch as he takes one more swallow of the wine before his lips are detaching. Your breathing and his have obviously picked up in speed. You hate yourself for what you’re about to do, but you want it so badly.

The wine glasses in your hands are quickly discarded onto the counter before you practically throw yourself into Namjoons arms and crash your lips against his. Namjoon is only taken off guard momentarily, his wet hands coming out of the sink to wrap around your waist so he can kiss you back properly.

A strangled and desperate noise leaves your mouth at the first taste of his lips and Namjoon only holds you tighter against his body at the sound. It had been so long. You had missed him so much. 

The kiss starts off hard and rushed, bruising lips and crashing teeth. Your arms wrap around his neck to lift yourself higher…to somehow get closer to him if it was possible. And because no one knows you better than he does, Namjoon picks you up off the ground and settles your ass onto the marble countertop, wedging his hips between your legs.

“You’re really okay with this?” He finally says into your open mouth, chasing after his lips.

“I want you.” You tangle your fingers into his soft brown hair, searching his pretty dragon eyes for signs of him feeling the same. “Isn’t this what you were talking about when we were upstairs?”

“That’s not what I asked, nae sarang.” His thumb comes up to gently play with your bottom lip for a moment.

“There’s…there’s a lot to say, Namjoon. But can’t we just have this for now? And figure the rest out later?” You wrap your legs around his waist, desperate to keep him near.

“Promise that you’ll talk to me. Promise that you won’t run away.” He pecks your lips a few times, both your eyes staying open as your lips brush.

“I promise. I want to talk.” You hope he sees and hears the truth in your eyes and your voice. You do want to talk. You want your family and your happiness back. You don’t want to give up this time. “But you have to listen to me too, Joon. When I tell you I want something, listen to me.” You cup his cheek and he kisses you again.

“What do you want right now?” He asks. 

You think for a moment, before gently pushing back on Namjoon’s shoulders so that he takes a few steps away from the counter. You’re then able to hop down, and drop to your knees in front of him.

“Oh fuck.” He swallows thickly, watching your hands as they make quick work of his belt, button and zipper of his jeans. He turns his body so he can press his palms to the countertop and anchor himself in preparation for what he knows your mouth can do. 

“You have to be quiet, okay?” You move up on your knees so that you can press kisses to the little strip of tummy skin exposed between his shirt and the band of his boxer briefs.

“Maybe I could be quiet if you didn’t have such a sinful mouth.” Namjoon takes a deep breath as you pull down his jeans and boxers, his very well endowed cock coming into your view. It was just as pretty as you remembered it being.

You look up through your lashes and meet his eyes, sticking out your tongue to let the head rest against it for a moment, familiarizing yourself with the taste of him again before moving to lick the entire length of him. You watch his head roll back as a deep groan leaves his mouth and his hips push forward just slightly, trying to get his cock inside the warm cavern of your mouth.

Deciding not to tease for too long, you open your mouth and take him inside, letting your saliva wet his cock as you take him deeper with each bob of your head. Namjoon’s hands grip the edge of the counter top, his shoulders hunching slightly when he begins to quietly moan.

“Baby that’s so good…” Namjoon croaks out, trying with great difficulty not to fuck into your mouth. He takes one hand off of the counter and brings it down to gently run his thumb over the apple of your cheek. “So perfect.” 

You continue bobbing your head, using your tongue to swirl around the head of his cock before swallowing it all back down again. You can start to see a sheen of sweat forming on Namjoon’s forehead, but he somehow manages to rarely take his eyes off of you. Sweet praises and gentle touches to your face and hair break up the sounds of his quiet moans and heavy breathing.

“Daddy?” A sweet little voice says from the other side of the kitchen. You immediately freeze your movements and slowly remove your ex husbands cock from your mouth and cover it with your hand instead in an attempt not to laugh.

“Hi, baby girl. Are you okay?” Namjoon clears his throat, using the kitchen island to shield his bottom half from your daughter. He tries to reach for his jeans and boxers but you swat his hands away and he glares down at you before quickly looking back up.

“Where’s mommy?” You recognize the little voice as HeeJin now.

“Mommy? Oh mommy went to take out the trash.” Namjoon rests his elbows on the island and smiles sweetly. You decide to wrap your hand back around his still hard cock and stroke him languidly. Namjoon tries to take your hand away but you manage to keep up your ministrations.

“Sena needs to go to bed daddy, she being grumpy.” HeeJin says with a yawn. 

“Okay gongjunim, I'll be right there.” Namjoon’s knees and voice both shake slightly when you start to lick at him again. 

At that point HeeJin must have left the room because the next thing you know, Namjoon is hauling you off of your knees and pressing your front against the counter, hands wrapping around your wrists to hold them behind your back. His tall frame leans over you until your cheek is pressing to the cold counter top. Your panties must be a sopping mess at this point.

“That was so fucking cruel, baby.” Namjoons’s deep voice says into your ear, his hard cock pressing into your lower back and leaving wet patches on your tshirt. 

“You handled it well.” You try to turn your head so that you can kiss him but he doesn’t let you have what you want.

“I’m trying to get my dick to calm down, nae sarang.” He presses a quick kiss to your temple and gently releases your wrists to let you stand up. 

“Please?” You pout when he pulls up his underwear and jeans, buttoning them back into please on his hips.

“Let’s go get the girls ready for bed. Then I’m all yours.” He traps you between his arms, palms against the counter top again as he bends down to softly kiss your lips.

This kiss made that heavy feeling in your stomach flutter. The way it always does when he’s around. The way it does when you know you’re in love, because it’s only ever done it for him. So you kiss him back in hopes he feels that love.

“I wish it had been this way before, you know? Making dinner together…getting the girls to sleep.” You straighten out your shirt and hair when the two of you pull apart.

“I had a lot shit to figure out, ____. Find balance. Make sure my girls never needed a thing. I’m sorry it took so long and that you had to leave for me to do something about it.” He wipes his hands on a dish towel, sighing with his shoulder slumped.

“It wasn’t just you. I needed to be…me.” You stand on your tip toes and press a kiss to his cheek. “Let’s get them to bed and remind each other what we’ve been missing, okay?” You give him a soft smile and listen to him laugh quietly before he follows you to the living room.

The sight you find in the living room is nothing short of perfect. All three of the little ones have managed to curl up to each other and started to fall asleep. MiJoon is holding Sena in her lap while HeeJin lays next to them on the couch. Your eldest barely keeping her eyes open as she watches the cartoons on the TV.

“Come here, sweet girl.” You take Sena from MiJoon’s lap and cradle her sleeping body in your arms.

“Let’s get to bed, gonjunims.” Namjoon scoops up the other two, both of them laying their heads on his shoulders, little fingers gripping the back of his shirt gently.

You and Namjoon walk up the stairs together, separating when you reach the hallway where the girls' rooms are located. You head into Sena’s room, carefully placing her in her crib and covering her chubby legs with her favorite blanket. You kiss her soft hair and head towards the other bedroom where MiJoon and HeeJin are being tucked in by their daddy.

They only whine for a moment, saying they aren’t sleepy at all, before you’re giving them each a kiss and watching their eyes flutter shut and drift off into dreamland. Namjoon does the same and then quietly follows you out into the hallway.

“You okay?” He asks as he shuts the door.

“Yes. Why do you ask?” You look at him curiously.

“Just seems like something is on your mind.” He cards a hand through his hair and tilts his head as he awaits your answer.

“We never tried to do this when we were married. We gave up too easily, didn’t we?” You ask him seriously.

“I used to think that you were the only one that had given up. But I gave up too, I never should have let it happen.” His eyes plead with yours and you sigh.

“We can talk tomorrow. No more talking tonight, not about this.” You take his hand without saying anything else and lead him towards your bedroom. The bedroom the two of you used to share.

You didn’t want to think about the consequences this was going to have, you didn't want to feel anything but him. You wanted to be consumed for just a little while.

The two of you quietly enter the bedroom, not feeling the need to say anything yet. Once the door clicks shut, your mouths immediately find the others. The kisses aren’t rushed now though, these are the slow and torturous kind. The kind where his tongue slides against yours leisurely and his hands cup your jaw.

You part long enough for you to pull his shirt off his torso, tossing it away in hopes that he never finds it. Your hands search his warm skin, rediscovering all the muscles and dips and curves of his upper body. You spend a little extra time feeling the way his pecs fit into your hands, tracing his nipples and drawing out a soft groan from his mouth that was still attached to yours.

“Hitting the gym more often?” You say between kisses, Namjoon chuckles deep in his chest.

“Have to take out my frustrations somewhere.” He quickly peels away the T-shirt you had been wearing, leaving you completely naked except for your underwear.

You wondered if it was frustrations from work that he was talking about. Or maybe sexual frustrations. A small part of you hoped he hadn’t slept with anyone else but you didn’t expect him not to.

He breaks you from your wondering thoughts, grabbing you beneath your thighs with one arm while the other snakes up your back and into your hair, holding you steady so he can kiss you and walk towards the bed. You wrap your legs tightly around his waist even though you know he would never drop you.

“If you were thinking about whether or not I’ve slept with anyone else since the divorce…” He nips your bottom lip before gently tossing you back onto the bed. You bounce a few times and once you’ve settled your eyes find him immediately. “The answer is no.” 

“Why?” Your voice is quiet and sweet. Namjoon kneels on the edge of the bed between your legs, picking up one of your ankles and pressing his lips to it.

“Why the fuck would I want anyone else when I’ve had you?” He made it sound so obvious. Like he couldn’t believe you had asked.

“Because I’m not yours anymore. You aren’t mine…” You watch as he picks up the other ankle and kisses it as well, your heart pounding.

“Don’t be stupid, ____. We both know neither of those things is true.” He bends over you, pressing a kiss to your chest.

“What would you think if I had slept with someone else?” You’re pushing, and you’re not sure why. Namjoon’s jaw sets tightly as he sits up to meet your eyes.

“Then I suppose I’d need to fuck away the memory of the sorry bastard. Impale you on my cock until it’s all you remember.” He whispers the last sentence in your ear, you shiver and try to close your thighs, but he doesn’t let you.

“I haven’t though. You know that I haven’t.” Your breathing becomes uneven and quick as you watch him start to kiss down your body.

He pays special attention to your hips and stomach where all of the stretch marks have formed from having three babies. Namjoon has always told you that they’re his favorite parts of you. No matter how much you hated it, he thought they were perfect.

“I know you haven’t.” His tongue drags along your hip bone. “It still turns me on so much that you’ve had my babies. That I filled you up and got you pregnant over and over.” He kisses across the marks and groans at the thought. 

You knew your pussy had to be so messy and wet right now. His filthy mouth was driving you insane. It felt like you were hallucinating, you were so turned on. 

“I need something…you.” You babbled, trying to sit up to get the rest of his clothes off of him. He stopped you with a gentle hand on your shoulder, lowering you back down.

“Stay put, nae sarang. Going to make you feel good, baby.” He reaches down between your legs, hooking his middle finger in the part of your panties that covered your pussy and pulled them down your legs. “Fuck you’re so wet. These panties are ruined, baby.” 

“You’re taking too long, Joon. Please.” Your hands that had been gripping the sheets come up to your breasts to start playing with your nipples.

“Are you upset that you ruined your underwear?” Big hands come down to your thighs and push them apart so he can get a better look between your legs. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this wet.” 

“Namjoon!” You whined and arch your back from the bed a little. He spread your thighs as wide as he could and then laid down on his stomach with his face mere inches from your aching pussy.

“Don’t worry babe, I’m ready for a taste.” His lips immediately attached to your clit and made you cry out. It had been so long since you’d felt the warmth of his mouth between your legs you almost wanted to cry.

Namjoons tongue swirled your swollen bud and licked up your arousal. He wasn’t quiet with his ministrations as he went lowered and delved his tongue inside of you, wet, filthy noises were coming from between your legs and it only got louder when he brought his fingers into the mix, pumping them rapidly into your pussy. 

It felt like too much and not enough all at once. You were coming to the brink of an orgasm so quickly that your mind couldn’t keep up. It was swirling and burning and you were so completely fucked. He knew you so well, knew exactly how to get you there and exactly when to do it. 

“No one else could ever make you feel like this, could they baby? They could try but you’d only be able to think about me and how well I treat this pussy.” Namjoon filled your ears with more filth between licks and sucks to your clit.

“Going to cum…” You managed to choke out.

“You’re squeezing my fingers so tight…haven’t been fucked properly in so long…can’t wait to get my cock inside you, angel.” He kept his words short but it was enough to send you hurdling over the edge and cumming all over his tongue.

Namjoon didn’t let a drop of your orgasm go to waste. He licked and sucked every inch of you until he was sure he hadn't left a trace. If this was the last time he has you, he was going to have all of you.

“Fuck that was so good.” You groaned as he climbed back over your body and kissed your lips, giving you a taste of what he’d been feasting on. “You were amazing.”

“And you still taste like heaven.” He kissed you again, sweeter this time.

“Let me ride you.” Your hands find his hair while your hips left from the bed to rub your soaking pussy lips up and down the shaft of his cock. God he was so big.

“I’d love that, baby. Come here.” He shifts from on top of you and moves up to rest his back against the headboard of the bed, pulling you over him. “Let me watch you.”

Your heart was still pounding and your mind felt fuzzy from your orgasm, but you managed to balance yourself with your hands gripping the headboard on either side of Namjoon’s head. You watch down between your legs as he situated his cock at your entrance. His other hand came to your hip to help keep you steady as you lowered yourself onto him.

You savored the way he stretched you out as you slowly took him all inside. You committed the sounds he made when your walls squeezed around him to memory. You soaked in the way his fingers dug into your hips and his thumbs drew soothing circles against your skin.

“Joon…it’s too much.” Your mind felt like it was overloading. So many emotions being tossed around by pleasure. You let your head roll back as your teeth dug into your bottom lip.

“Look at me, nae sarang. It’s not too much, it’s perfect for you. Made for you. Show me how well you can take it.” Namjoon encouragingly helped you lift your hips just a little while your head rolled forward so you could look down at him. He was so fucking beautiful.

Your fingers gripped the headboard until they began to turn white and you started to find a rhythm. After a few moments and sweet praises from Namjoon, you took your hands off the headboard and used his shoulders to balance instead. You desperately needed to touch him and feel him, something to anchor you to the earth while your mind is traveling through a universe full of ecstasy.

“Oh fuck, baby.” His big hands slid onto your back, one resting on the small of it while the other slid up to cradle the back of your head and bring your face closer to his. “That’s right angel, use my cock to get what you want.”

You moaned against his open mouth but he quickly swallowed the sounds when he attached your lips and kissed you like his life depended on it. You licked into his mouth and tasted his tongue while your hips went back and forth between bounces and drawn out swirls.

His cock twitched almost every time you came down on him and he groaned your name into your mouth. But you could tell he was getting impatient, he wanted to buck his hips up from the mattress and fuck himself deeper inside you. 

“Why are you holding back?” You finally asked.

“Because I don’t want to cum yet.” He kissed you quickly before sitting up more, his back leaving the headboard. “Not done worshipping you.”

Before you could reply, you felt his cock slip from inside you and his arms wrapping around your waist as he maneuvered himself onto his knees behind you. He held you around the waist, keeping you upright and spreading your thighs over his own so that you were straddling them.

“It feels so fucking empty when you’re not inside me.” You practically whine, reaching back behind you with both arms to wrap them around his neck and press kisses to his jaw. 

“I won’t make you wait.” His arm tightens around your waist to lift you over his cock, letting it situate itself at your entrance and slowly slip back inside the warmth of your pussy. Namjoon’s face nuzzles into the crook of your neck, pressing open mouth kisses to your heated skin.

Namjoon starts to gently thrust into you, letting you adjust to the position and the way he stretches you again. Both hands slide up your stomach until they reach your breasts, squeezing them in his palms and pulling at your nipples. You moaned his name over and over and laid your head back against his shoulder as he continued that torturous pace with his hips. 

“Please make me cum again, Joon.” You’re past the point of trying not to beg. He chuckles into your neck, kissing across your shoulder. 

“Greedy girl.” He groans when you start to move your hips with his, pulling him deeper inside. One of his hands slips between your legs and starts to play with your clit, rubbing it between his fingers while he picks up the speed of his thrusts.

The wet squelching sounds are absolutely obscene, you would be embarrassed if you were with anyone else. But no one else would ever be able to get you this wet. 

Just when you’re about cum again, the small whiny noises of your baby start to come through the baby monitor sitting on your bedside table. Namjoon slows down his thrusts, but doesn’t stop completely. 

“It’s okay, she’ll go back to sleep.” You turn your head around to face him and kiss his lips, begging him through the action to keep going.

“What if she’s scared?” He looks at you with seriousness in his eyes.

“Do you go in to get her every time she makes a noise at your house?” You’re far too endeared by this man right now and can’t help the small smile that pulls at your lips.

“Of course I do. She’s so little.” Namjoon kisses your shoulder, then slides a hand up the back of your neck and into your hair, angling your face back more so he can kiss you properly. “But I’m not normally balls deep inside her beautiful mommy.” His words make you giggle and kiss him again.

The two of you stay like that for a few minutes, kissing each other softly while Namjoon leisurely pumps his cock inside you. It shouldn’t be making you this drip down your thighs and onto his, but you can feel your juices doing just that.

“Going to cum, baby.” You breathe into his mouth, which makes him groan, his arms moving down to wrap around your waist and hold you tighter against him.

“Just from this?” He whispers against the shell of your ear. “Do you love my cock that much?” His hands squeeze your breasts and you’re so fucking close it physically hurts.

“Yes.” You give him the plain and simple answer. The truth. His cock twitches at your answer.

For the second time tonight, Namjoon slides his cock from inside you and moves you around until you’re lying on your back beneath him. He’s quick to spread your legs and situate himself between them, his cock sliding back in easily but still making your back arch slightly from the intrusion.

“I love you, nae sarang. I’m sorry I was such a fucking dick that picked work over you and our girls. That I didn’t listen to you when you said you wanted to start working…I’m so fucking sorry.” You can see how sincere he is, how sad he is, so you grab his face between your hands and hush him with a kiss.

“Not now, okay? Right now I just want to feel you. Tomorrow we can talk about everything else…just not now when I finally have you like this again.” Your fingers and hands find his hair, gently scratching at his scalp while his hips start to thrust again.

Namjoon smiles down at you, the kind of sincere smile that reaches his eyes and pulls the dimples into his cheeks. The best kind. Then he leans down to kiss you again while adjusting one of your legs to rest over his shoulder.

His hips rock against you and the angle he’s created makes you see stars behind your eyelids as to clench then shut. You move your hands around to his back, nails digging lightly into his skin and making pink trails down to his ass. You couldn’t wait to see them in the morning when he rolled out of your bed.

“You’re starting to squeeze me, baby. Want to be filled up?” Namjoon sits up on his knees a little, changing the angle again and making you moan loudly.

“Please. Please cum, Namjoon. I want it so bad.” You hoped you sounded somewhat sexy and not completely desperate like you felt.

“I’m so close. Fuck I’m so close.” He quickly moved your other leg over his other shoulder, picking up his pace and snapping his hips against yours. The sound of skin slapping against skin mixed together with your moans filled the room entirely.

White hot flashes of light started to burst behind your eyelids as you came, saying Namjoons name until you could no longer string together anymore words. It felt like your body had been waiting for this moment again, to feel like you were complete.

You were starting to come down and Namjoon was still pounding into you, you needed him to cum so badly, and you knew what you needed to do…wanted to do…in order to get him there.

“Joon…” You said quietly, cupping his face so his eyes would meet yours. “I love you. You can cum…I’m not going anywhere…we’ll have all the time in the world.” You smiled at him reassuringly and his hips finally stuttered as he moaned at your words. 

His thrusts got sloppy and so did his kisses as he finally came, shooting rope after rope of his load inside you, painting your walls the prettiest white. His sweat covered body immediately fell limp and his head pressed against your chest. 

The two of you basked in each other, soaking up the moment. You absentmindedly ran your fingers through his hair until Namjoon shifted, his softening cock sliding out of you as he flopped down next to you on the bed.

“Did Sena really go back to sleep that quickly?” He finally said, making you laugh out loud.

“You want to talk about the baby when you just finished rearranging my guts?” You turn on your side and prop yourself up on your elbow to look down at him.

“Is that what people are calling it now?” He smiles and turns to lay on his side as well, mirroring your pose.

“You’re endearing, Kim Namjoon.” The smile on your face hurts your cheeks.

“You’re beautiful, nae sarang.” He closes the small space between you and leaves a sweet kiss against your lips. “Shower?” He says between kisses. You hum in agreement.

Namjoon sits up on the bed, and the clock that sits on your bedside table comes into view, revealing that it’s 12:08pm, and officially the new year. What a way to start it, was all you could think.

“Happy new year, Joon.” You grab his hand before he can get up from the bed. He smiles and looks down at the clock as well.

“Happy new year.” He leans back to kiss you once more, before coaxing your spent body out of the bed to join him in the shower.

When the sun comes up and your babies are out of their beds, you know things will have to be discussed. What the two of you want. What you really want. How you can make things work so that all these misunderstandings and miscommunications don’t happen again. You know there’s so much to say and so much to hear. And you’ll listen, and so will he, so that you can find that place between the lines that makes sense for you both.

But until the sun comes up and a new day starts, you have now, and you have him.

tagging: @playmetheclassics​ cuz she said to <3

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

The White House announced a sweeping executive order Friday to promote competition throughout the U.S. economy, in the most ambitious effort in generations to reduce the stranglehold of monopolies and concentrated markets in major industries.

The order — whose details POLITICO first reported last week — also includes elements designed to lower the price of prescription drugs, protect consumers' privacy and increase scrutiny of abusive business tactics in the tech industry.

The effort marks a major push by President Joe Biden’s administration to focus on competition as part of the economic recovery from the pandemic. It also offers a response to progressives’ criticisms that the federal government has focused too much on supporting banks and other corporations without concern about the effect on consumers, who have watched their choices dwindle over the years.

Biden plans to sign the order at 1:30 p.m., the White House said.

The order’s impacts could be felt in industries including agriculture, airlines, health, broadband and banking. Previously unreported elements include a provision urging the Federal Communications Commission to reinstate its Obama-era net neutrality rules, as well as a call for financial regulators to allow data sharing among financial companies.

It dives into the specifics on some policy issues — for instance, by calling for over-the-counter sales of hearing aids, urging the Food and Drug Administration to allow imports of prescription drugs from Canada, and ending "exclusivity arrangements" in which landlords "stick tenants with only a single internet option," according to a nearly 4,000-word White House fact sheet issued Friday morning.

The White House said order will include initiatives to require airlines to refund fees to passengers who receive shoddy Wi-Fi service or baggage handling; restricting businesses’ ability to foist noncompete agreements on employees; challenge occupational licensing requirements that limit competition in industries like health care; and guarantee farmers and motorists the right to repair their own vehicles without voiding warranty protections. The last provision would also have implications for consumer products like Apple’s iPhones.

Top White House officials said the order seeks to ensure small businesses and consumers have access to fair markets.

“The overarching objective with the executive order is to make sure the president is encouraging competition in industries around the country,” White House press secretary Jen Psaki told reporters Thursday.

Taking aim at just one industry the order will cover, Psaki added: “It doesn’t sound right to most people that there are three shipping companies that are dominating the market and upping and increasing costs for suppliers, small businesses, people across the country. That doesn’t sound right or fair, because it isn’t.”

Background:

The executive order builds off one that former President Barack Obama issued in 2016, which encouraged agencies to consider competition in their decisions and rulemakings. That order — largely the work of Jason Furman, chair of the White House Council of Economic Advisers — came near the end of Obama’s presidency. Few agencies followed through on the White House’s prodding, and those that did saw their actions largely overturned by former President Donald Trump’s appointees.

Biden’s order goes a step beyond Obama’s by offering pointed suggestions for steps to take, rather than leaving implementation entirely to the agencies.

The new order is the product of months of negotiations among White House officials, particularly Tim Wu — who served on Obama’s National Economic Council and is now a Biden aide focused on technology and competition policy — along with the Justice Department, Federal Trade Commission and other federal agencies.

While the White House can command executive branch agencies like the Departments of Transportation and Agriculture to take action, the order styles its directions as “suggestions” to avoid the appearance the administration is inappropriately seeking to direct independent agencies like the FCC or FTC. That could avoid the kind of blowback that Trump faced when he pressed both agencies to crack down on social media companies.

A Columbia University law professor and antitrust advocate, Wu is considered one of the founders of the New Brandeis movement in antitrust, along with Lina Khan, a fellow Columbia professor whom Biden named FTC chair last month. Wu and Khan have both argued that the federal government should use a variety of tools beyond antitrust enforcement, particularly agency rulemakings, to promote competition.

The White House order will include these items:

Airlines and shipping: The Transportation Department will issue rules aimed at boosting transparency of airlines’ fees for baggage and Wi-Fi service while helping consumers recover those costs when their trips are delayed or the service is substandard. The agency had proposed similar rules in 2016 that would have forced airlines to disclose baggage and change fees before passengers buy their tickets, but the Trump administration canceled the rulemaking.People familiar with the executive order had said they expect it to suggest efforts to encourage competition at major U.S. airports with capacity constraints, such as New York’s JFK International and Ronald Reagan Washington National near D.C. However, the fact sheet does not mention this issue. The order also tasks the Federal Maritime Commission, which regulates ocean shipping, and the Surface Transportation Board, which oversees trucking and railroads, with seeking ways to bring down shipping costs.

Agriculture: The USDA will undertake several rulemakings aimed at protecting farmers and ranchers against unfair practices by large meatpackers and other agribusinesses. The rules seek to make it easier for the agency to challenge unfair and deceptive practices by meat processors and would allow farmers to more easily file complaints with USDA or sue under the Packers and Stockyards Act. People familiar with the order said it would also tighten the rules for so-called poultry grower tournament systems, in which contract farmers are paid more or less than their peers in the same area depending on how closely they meet buyers’ standards. The agency is also moving forward with rules that seek to increase food access through alternatives to supermarkets, like local farmer’s markets, and increase consumer transparency about where meat is raised.

Labor: The order takes aim at noncompete agreements — contractual provisions that attempt to prevent workers from switching jobs within the same industry — and urges the FTC to make rules barring or limiting them. About one in five Americans today is bound by noncompetes, particularly in tech and health care, where the clauses are common. The order will also urge the FTC and the Justice Department to challenge overly broad job licensing requirements imposed by state governments, a move the administration says could make it easier for workers to obtain new licenses when they move to a new state. During the pandemic, about half of U.S. states agreed to modify their occupational licensing requirements to allow out-of-state physicians and health care workers to work in the state or offer telehealth services.

Financial Services: The order is also expected to support open banking regulations, which seek to allow data sharing among financial firms to increase consumer convenience and price transparency. New regulations could provide more clarity about the consumer protection and cybersecurity obligations of financial apps that have access to data from customers' bank and brokerage accounts. Under the 2010 Dodd-Frank law, consumers have the right to access their own financial data. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has yet to issue standards that would govern consumer requests and transfers, however, although it started a potential rulemaking on the subject in October. Progressive groups have called on the Biden administration to adopt a strong interpretation of the law that would make it easy for consumers to switch among banks and take advantage of innovative upstart technology firms that provide lending and investing services.

Right to repair: The order will also task the FTC with establishing rules on when consumers can bypass manufacturers to seek repairs on products they own, a concept known as “right to repair.” The widespread issue affects farmers seeking to fix their own equipment, as well as consumers who want to use cheaper independent mechanics rather than car dealerships for auto repairs ― or small repair shops instead of Apple for cracked iPhone screens. In a May report to Congress, the FTC suggested it might undertake such a rulemaking that would clarify when repair restrictions violate the law. Manufacturers have fought against “right to repair” proposals, saying they could expose customers to substandard repairs or even violate their privacy by undermining devices’ security.

Mergers: The order would urge the FTC and DOJ to update guidance on how they review mergers, potentially pulling back on guidelines the Trump administration approved last year. Those guidelines focused on so-called vertical mergers, which involve companies that are not direct competitors but are in the same supply chain, and which have typically attracted little scrutiny from regulators. The FTC’s two Democrats opposed the Trump-era update, calling it overly deferential to business. Changes to those guidelines could affect several pending deals, including Amazon’s proposed purchase of MGM Studios and UnitedHealth Group’s deal to buy Change Healthcare. The order will also recommend that federal banking regulators work with the Justice Department to update guidance on bank deals. The DOJ partners with the Federal Reserve, the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency and the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. to vet bank mergers, but hasn’t changed how it looks at potential tie-ups since 1995.

[strawwritesfic]

Loki Laufeyson x Female!Midgardian!Reader: A Bird in the Hand

Summary: …is surely not worth its asking price.

Rating/Warnings/Tags: All (some foul language; not Thor Ragnarok compliant)

Fic Trade Prompt: “Please, I don’t want to lose you, too.” 

A Bird in the Hand

Once upon a time in a realm known as Midgard, there lived a girl. This girl, of course, was you, and you lived as many young women at the time did during that Age of Miracles. None of these miracles ever happened to you. There were no fish oil transformations on your horizon, nor were there any divine calls to adventure. Just like all New Yorkers, you grew use to your daily commute being interrupted by superheroes, to calling insurance companies to argue over their decision to not pay for alien invasion damage to your apartment, and even to carrying an umbrella around with you even on the driest of days in case certain Asgardians decided to visit. Life went on. You had stopped looking for a real miracle years ago.

As well you should have, because there was nothing miraculous about your wedding day. Outside, a seemingly endless mass of dark gray clouds let loose bucket after bucket of rain. Thunder rolled across the sky; lightning flashed–and that, really, was all you could see through the window you had stationed yourself in front of to sulk. If you hadn’t known any better, you’d have blamed the city’s resident thunder god for the disastrous timing of this storm front. As it was, all you could blame was your string of bad luck.

Speaking of bad luck, the door to your parlor snapped open and in stepped the dripping figure of your best friend. Aliyah paused only long enough to adjust her sodden pink hijab before plopping soggily onto an overstuffed loveseat.

“Well, the gazebo is flooded,” she announced, “the food is soaked through, and the caterer won’t bring more to replace it. Your flower arrangements are in pieces, and the band already ran off. I don’t think there’s anything left of your wedding ceremony.”

You did not bother to leave the window, though you did turn just far enough to throw her a sour look. “Do you have any good news to impart?” you asked.

Aliyah grinned. “Your maid of honor hasn’t walked out yet. At least there will be one person here to witness this fiasco.”

“Gonna need a groom for anything to be witnessed.”

Most close friends would offer sympathy when their friend’s fiancé of a year and a half decided to just not show up for the actual wedding. Most acquaintances would feel bad enough when the carefully planned event got rained out. Not your Aliyah. She simply let out a sharp breath and leaned her head back against the couch cushion.

“Can’t say I didn’t warn you,” she said.

You glared at her, which of course she didn’t see, having shut her eyes to listen to the water tumble from the roof to the street outside.

“Thank you. So much,” you said.

“What?” she asked, forcing her eyes open again. “I told you Jared wasn’t good enough for you. Besides, you should keep all the gifts even if he doesn’t stop by. I saw, like, nine blenders in that pile. You’re better off this way, if you ask me.”

“You’re just saying that because you want a free blender,” you said.

“I wouldn’t say no. But, really, you should count your lucky stars. Free stuff and free of your jackass boyfriend. What better start to a weekend?”

“I’d rather be married to my jackass boyfriend.”

Aliyah’s disdain for Jared was nothing new or surprising. He’d fallen from grace in her eyes when he’d got jealous over your fondness for an injured pigeon you’d rescued only a few months after you started dating Jared. Even releasing the bird hadn’t entirely put an end to his complaints about how you spent your free time. On the other hand, you knew one thing that neither Aliyah nor Jared did: Jared’s jealousy wasn’t entirely misplaced.

But that was years ago. This was now. And that bird had always been bad news.

“Are you going to cry about it?” Aliyah asked, peering over at your perch by the parlor’s bay window. “Because, if not, I’d hate to have dragged Habib all the way to America for nothing.”

At the mention of her long-distance boyfriend, you motioned for Aliyah to go on. You preferred to do your moping alone, and Aliyah knew it. She stood and crossed the room to give you a quick hug before she left without another word. Probably you did owe your maid of honor at a least a blender for all the trouble she’d been through on your behalf.

Sighing, you lifted one hand, dug your fingers into your hair, and tore out what was holding it in its elaborate design. Who cared what you looked like now? Even if stupid Jared had shown up, the storm would have ruined your appearance before you made it down the aisle. Now Aliyah had free rein to spend the rest of her afternoon cuddling with Habib, and you had no one else to bother looking pretty for.

Outside your empty room, you could hear the indistinct muttering of your remaining guests. Family, mostly, who had already given up trying to convince you to let them in. What the rest of them were waiting for before they left, you couldn’t guess. Perhaps for you to come out and make an official announcement: The wedding has been called off. Party’s over. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here. And thanks for all the blenders.

The shame of your situation suddenly threatened to crash down upon you. It would have, if you had remained sitting where you were. Instead, you got up, white dress rustling as you stalked across the room. A quiet shriek of rage was stifled only by your gloved hand pressed to your colored lips. Of all the pathetic, idiotic, insane things you had done in your life! Now you didn’t even have the courage to face your friends and family with the truth.

“Tap. Tap. Tap.”

Hail began to hit the glass behind you, soft and hesitant. Since you had no plans to leave the building any time soon, you ignored this weather development.

Jared hadn’t even called to say he’d changed his mind. You should have known when he hadn’t come home after his stag party the night before. He was probably laughing it up over your stupidity with some blonde bikini babe by the beach that you were supposed to go to for your honeymoon. The thought caused you to kick out angrily at the coffee table, and you heard a quiet rip issue from your skirt in response when it caught on a corner.

You swore.

”Tap. Tap. Tap.”

Now that you thought about it, the sound wasn’t regular enough to be hail. It wasn’t very hesitant anymore either. Still, you ignored the noise as you yanked off your veil, your gloves, and your garter. You were mentally preparing to rip them all to shreds with your fingernails when you heard it again:

“Tap. Tap. Tap.”

That time you did not suppress your shriek. As it faded into the overstuffed furniture surrounding you, you marched over to the window and shoved it open. The wind whistled through the empty space, sending anything in the room not tied down into the air and splattering your face with water. If ever there was a time to reasonably expect an Asgardian thunder god to step inside, it was then. No one was there, though, save for a single bedraggled pigeon.

“Oh, hello,” you said when it hopped onto the sill, and automatically you held out your cupped hands toward it.

The poor thing shivered once, then stepped onto your warm palms. Only when it looked up into your face did you see that it had bright green, very un-pigeon-ish eyes.

Before you could stuff the bird back outside, it lifted itself into the air to half-flutter, half-fly over to the loveseat Aliyah had been sitting on. A flash of light that had nothing to do with the lightning outside filled the room. When you had blinked and cleared your vision enough that you could see again, the pigeon was gone, and in its place reclined a tall, dark-haired, beautiful man, dressed to the nines in Asgardian fashion.

“Hello, darling,” said Loki Laufeyson. “Don’t you look ravishing?”

You were too shocked to contradict him. No mention of your torn dress, mussed hair, or smeared makeup escaped your lips. Instead, you said the only thing you could in that sort of situation: “What are you doing here?”

“Why, I’m here to offer you my congratulations, of course,” he answered, examining one perfectly manicured nail. “Or should it be my condolences?”

“Really?” Your tone dripped with enough sarcasm that it could be heard over the protesting window as you forced it shut. “You disappear for two years, never write, never visit, and then you just happen to pop by to celebrate my wedding to another man?”

“What kind of secret lover would I be if I did not?”

“We are not secret lovers.”

“Well, no, we haven’t been for quite some time. I see no reason why that should stop us from picking up right where we left off, however.”

“We were never secret lovers.”

“Really?” he said, mocking the tone of your earlier question. “That’s not what it seemed like to me. Of course, I had the brain of a pigeon most of the time, but at night when your beau had to work and leave you so very alone–”

“You can’t just show up out of the blue and expect me to want you again,” you interrupted. “And on my wedding day to boot.”

To his credit, Loki looked genuinely confused by your behavior–like he’d expected you to jump straight into his arms, marriage or no. Obviously, they did things differently in Asgard. You were not Asgardian.

“Fine,” he said. “If that’s the way you want it. I was only trying to thank you for helping me, you know.”

“All I did was take in a pigeon that got injured when Thor threw a bunch of peanuts at a flock. It didn’t really deserve that sort of thanking.”

“Ah, but you enjoyed it anyway.” That wasn’t the point. He knew it wasn’t the point just as well as you did, because once he made it, he got fluidly up to his feet to and walked over to stand in front of you. “If you are that disinclined to see me, I suppose I had better get going. If you ever grow tired of being lonely again–oh, that’s right. You don’t know how to contact me.”

You opened your mouth to remind Loki that you didn’t want to contact him, but then something about Loki’s words rang strange.

“Alone?” you echoed.

“Yes, alone. Or do you expect your Prince Charming to come riding up on a horse of white any second now? Better late than never?”

Without thinking, without warning, you slapped him straight across the face.

“Ow!” he snapped, pressing one of his hands to the mark on his face. “What was that for?”

“What did you do?” You lifted your hand for another blow. “What did you do to Jared?”

“Me? Do something to Jared? What should I have to do with that ponderous ass?”

“Did you kill him, Loki?” you asked, voice quavering. Loki could do it. Easily. He was a god, and Jared just…well, just a ponderous ass.

Loki let out a single bark of laughter. “Oh, please. I just got out of Asgardian prison. As if I’d risk going back over the murder of a petty moral such as he.”

That brought you up short. Frowning, you deigned to look at him again. “Prison?”

“Yes, prison. Did you think my absence was due to taking a pleasure cruise?”

“I thought you’d escaped prison when I found you the first time.”

“But you sent me back to Asgard when I started causing trouble,“ he reminded you. "Odin does not forget his son’s crimes easily, nor is he inclined to forgive them. Luckily my brother is far easier to manipulate.”

He had not, you noticed, made any real move to leave. Loki still stood in front of you, looking down as the pink handprint faded from his cheek.

“So…you didn’t kill my fiancé?” you asked uncertainly.

He shook his head. “If he isn’t here, it is because he is a dunce, not because I tricked him in any way.”

“Oh.” All the problems of your appearance seemed at once apparent and embarrassing. To think that this man would see you in such a state, and only because he’d wanted to see you after his release from jail. “Why did you really come, then? Since you knew he wasn’t here. To gloat?”

“The thought did occur to me,” Loki confessed. “I am not often in the position of being the more desirable choice. But,” here his voice turned oddly sincere, “I actually came to ask you to come with me.”

Your mouth fell open. Some of Loki’s usual acerbic amusement returned as he watched you flounder; you could see the faint outlines of his familiar smirk at the corners of his mouth. Finally, you managed a short, “go with you where?”

He shrugged, and started to twist the curtain in between his long, pale fingers. “I don’t know, really.”

“You want me to go somewhere with you without anywhere in mind?”

“I thought we’d figure it out as we went along,” he said. “Travel the galaxies. I cannot return to Asgard and Midgard, of course, is out of the question so long as I do not rule it.”

“You want me to follow you into outerspace?”

Only his silence could tip you off that Loki was actually nervous. He clearly had no idea how you would respond to his suggestion–which was by falling into a nearby chair to gape at him.

“You want me to leave my family?” you asked.

“They live far away and hardly talk to you.”

“And my job?”

“That you’ve never liked. We’re both aware.”

“And my best friend?”

“She spends most of her time visiting mosques in India with her boyfriend,” Loki said with a dismissive flick of his hand. “Besides, there’s no rule to say we can’t come back to visit her every so often. I have no objection. She seems a sensible enough woman.”

“And you want me to leave them all,” you went on as though you couldn’t hear him, “for you, a man I haven’t seen in years because he was in prison.”

Once more, Loki said nothing. His green eyes peered into yours with unreadable depths, just as they had the unfortunate day you had returned home after to work to find your injured pigeon friend gone and a strange man eating all of the meat out of your fridge in its place. You could remember, too, the feel of that man’s skin against yours, the heat of his lips on your neck, the sound of his low voice in your ear–and Jared complaining, always complaining, about how much time you spent with that damn bird.

You buried your face in your hands. “I can’t do it, Loki. I can’t.”

You waited to hear him leave again, to hear the glass move and the rush of the storm and the flutter of wings. None came. All that did was one soft word:

“Please.”

“Huh?”

When you looked up, Loki was right above you. His hands gripped the chair arms at your sides with enough force to make them whiter than ever–but his eyes were not on yours anymore.

“Please,” he said, “I don’t want to lose you, too.”

Another move without thinking or warning: You gently touched his other cheek.

Loki’s eyes closed for a half second before he moved one hand to hold your wrist there. “I have already lost my father, my mother, my home. My own brother has thrust me unceremoniously from both realms I sought to rule. And then to hear that I would lose you, too, to an oaf like that Jared.”

No one could say that Loki losing all of this wasn’t entirely his fault. He had decided to lead an alien invasion into Earth, to try murdering several members of his mentioned family, and to seduce young Earth women under the guise of hurt animals. But part of Loki’s charm was that he never failed to make one doubt that he could be better, maybe, if you only let him try.

“I’m sorry,” you said sincerely. A sincere apology didn’t mean your mind was changed, however, and this, also, Loki knew.

“Do you want me to beg?” he asked. “I am no longer a stranger to begging.”

With that, Loki slid to the wooden floor before you. Stranger or no, it was positive it wasn’t a position he relished being in, what with how stiff his hands were around yours when he made to hold them. He swallowed, took a deep breath, and began:

“I know I am asking a lot. But I, too, have lost a family, a job, and my closest friends. I would not ask you to come with me if I did not intend on paying you pack ten times in kind. If you will allow me to take you with me, I know I can make you happier than you would be here. Together we will find some place to call our own, and you shall be my queen. So please,” he said, “please let me keep one last thing that I love. Don’t make me leave you behind, too.”

It wasn’t the prettiest speech you had ever heard come out of his mouth, but it was probably the most honest. You gave him a tiny smile as you squeezed his hands in return. “A queen, huh?”

Loki smirked. “Or a comfortable, quiet living, depending on what we find, and how thorough Thor is in seeking me out. At least we could be comfortable and quiet for a little while.”

“Can’t imagine that’s going to last long with you around.”

“With you around to look after me, though…”

That got you to laugh. “Oh, yes, I’m sure I’d do a wonderful job making sure you didn’t get into any trouble. I did such a good job before.”

Some of the color returned to Loki’s features. He was starting to hope. Against your better judgement, so were you. A couple of things, however, remained to bother you:

“What if you came here and Jared and I were married?” you asked.

“Then I would have had to resort to kidnapping.”

“And how did you even know I was getting married today to begin with?”

He smiled his Cheshire smile, and that was when you knew you were truly lost. “You really ought to stop talking to the birds on your fire escape. You never know which one would be willing to pass information off in exchange for a couple of peanuts.”

“Oh, and you stalk me. What part of this deal doesn’t sound good?”

“None of it, I should hope.” Standing, Loki kept one hand firmly around one of yours. “We should go, you realize. Unless you want to say your goodbyes?”

You thought of your parents blustering about how you dared to invite both of them to your wedding. You thought of the forlorn apartment you shared with a man that had never really loved you for you. You thought of Aliyah and her instance that Jared would never be good enough for you. You thought of the awkward explanation that would be expected as soon you set foot outside that door–and you grinned.

“Not a chance.”

“Then I believe,” he said, and abruptly pulled you into his arms in an obvious parody of carrying a bride before pushing the window open with his boot, “we have a few errands to go on before we get on our way.”

“Like what?”

“Unless you plan to live the rest of our lives with nothing but multiple blenders,” he began, but was not able to finish over your sudden laughter and the return of the torrent outside.

You latched your hands behind his neck as he dove back into the rain. There were stars somewhere above those clouds, and you would be visiting them soon enough–them and endless other realms. Maybe eloping with a man that could turn into a pigeon wasn’t the best miracle there ever was on Midgard, but it pulled off the most important trick of them all: Against all odds, you lived happily ever after.