#not to mention all the faiths he groomed to take the place of his dead wife

[fontofmercy-archived2]

TROS spat in the face of every single abused child who was looking to this fairytale for hope. The sequel trilogy wasn’t about a farm boy looking for adventure or even an abused child falling to villainy, it was about three abused children from the different class systems all rising out of trauma and dysfunction. This was our fairytale, our story, and JJ Abrams perverted it into abuse apologist propaganda in a pathetically desperate attempt to appease the most hateful groups of fans who never understood or appreciated the story to begin with (which is why the story had to be butchered in order to appease them).

1.) Rey

Rey’s parents selling her for profit into slavery was portrayed as a good, loving thing. Child trafficking was literally portrayed as excusable, and even loving, in this children’s film. Just let that sink in for a second.

What is the message there? If your parents did something horrible that caused you years of trauma and torment, you should just not lose faith in them because they may have had a good reason (even if you have no evidence of that). Maybe a space wizard who has been dead for decades forced them to traffic you. This scene makes me want to vomit. This is how a children’s fairytale portrayed parents who sell their children into trafficking:

There is no excuse for this. Rey’s parentage was solved. Her identity crisis was over. This wasn’t needed except to force this abuse apologist message. Oh, and of course to feed the sexist fanboys a bit of eugenics to make them stop whining about how a woman could possibly be important and powerful.

TLJ was about Rey discovering her identity and letting go of her unhealthy, irrational dependency on parents who she never knew, who sold her to an abuser and left her to half-starve alone in a desert. TROS decided to give her a new identity crisis out of literally nowhere just so they could erase all that “You are not your parents, even if your parents don’t love you and/or aren’t special, you are still special and still deserving of love. You can find belonging ahead of you.” stuff with dynastic “Actually, your blood family does entirely define your identity and you should always assume they’re right even when all evidence points otherwise, just ignore your own trauma and blame it on a dead space wizard.”

The whole Rey Palpatine thing left a very bad taste in my mouth. Not just because it’s fucking stupid and something Reddit would write, but because Rey was horrible in TROS. She acted like she was possessed by Palpatine, she stabbed Ben (who she cares for and always had compassion for) to kill while he was distracted. She suddenly acted like she didn’t care about anyone around her. She just overall acted unrecognizable from the warm, loving, empathetic woman we saw in TFA and TLJ. The message here is clearly that because she has this “bad blood”, Rey can’t have an identity for herself. The only thing that saves her is taking on the identity of the good guys, she never finds her own. All the traits she’s had up until now don’t matter, who she actually is doesn’t matter. All that matters is what man’s blood runs through her veins. All Rey is is someone’s granddaughter, because if she wasn’t, then she’d really be nobody.

And thus, JJ Abrams decided that “Anyone can be special, even nobodies. Your worth is not defined by your class or your background.” was a stupid message and instead it should be pure eugenic “You’re only special if you have important people blood/name. Your identity is entirely your (male) family, not your own. No silly woman could have power of her own!”

Rey taking on the name of Skywalker is an utterly shallow attempt to fix the fact that they took every bit of Rey’s real identity from her, took half her soul (Ben is her dyad, two that are one), and then left her alone on a desert planet as if to say that her “true self” is the abused child she once was and that she can’t actually escape that. The moral of this fairytale was “You don’t need friends or love, as long as you have a glow stick (material possessions) and a super duper special name that makes you important (which you weren’t before, you were nobody).”

Not to mention that Rey basically named herself after Luke, no one else she knew actually used that name. And Luke didn’t do anything to deserve that, he rejected her at every single opportunity and only did the bare minimum to help her after being berated into it. Han was her surrogate father and the first person to offer her a life outside of Jakku. Leia was her loving mentor and pseudo-mother. Ben was the love of her life who has always been there for her when she needed someone to confide it, someone to see her true self and tell her she wasn’t alone. Luke was nothing but some cranky old guy who made her feel awful about herself and never accepted her (not to mention telling her she was inherently dangerous and also trying to murder her soulmate when he was a child which the real Rey was furious about).

2.) Finn

Finn’s character has not been given much in terms of development. For the most part, he’s been reduced to “Rey’s friend” and then “Finn’s friend”, with a little moment in there where he got to be with Rose and have his own identity but TROS of course decided to reward racist bullies and cut out Rose instead of giving the rest of the fans a satisfying story.

In TROS though, the one thing that Finn actually did that was heroic by himself, his character defining moment of turning from The First Order, was credited to the force and described like it wasn’t a choice at all. Which brings up a lot of questions and, as Han would say, “That’s not how the force works!”. It was so entirely unneeded to take that from Finn, but they gave up all of Rose’s potential screentime to do it.

There’s also the moment when Poe, our alleged hero, so hilariously (i.e callously) compares himself being a criminal to Rey being a scavenger and Finn being a stormtrooper. Completely ignoring the fact that they had no choice in that, as if their trauma doesn’t matter at all. It’s a small moment, but it was very insensitive and highlights how much the writers Did Not Care or even understand their main characters’ experiences.

3.) Ben

I don’t even know where to start with Ben Solo. His ending was the one that broke me as a person, I had so many hysterical sobbing fits over it that my loved ones were actually getting tired of it and it genuinely put me in a really bad place with my depression that I’m only just not getting out of.

Ben Solo’s story in TFA and TLJ was abuse victim’s epic, it was the story of a boy who was tortured and groomed from the time he was in his mother’s womb. A man who never knew a life without abuse. Ben Solo was described as a pure beam of light in his mother’s womb who was ensnared and tainted by a predatory force bigger and stronger than himself that he could not escape.

The feeling of being tainted and corrupted is common in abuse victims, and the fact that TROS told every single abused child out there “Yes, you really are tainted and corrupted. You do deserve to die before experiencing more than a moment of happiness and safety.” is something that I’ve yet to get over. It still infuriates me, it still breaks my heart. Ben’s entire arc up until this point has been about how he is still worthy of love.

And no, this isn’t me woobifying; it’s in the text of the films and the canon novels that Ben worked for his redemption, that he earned it. Ben fought Snoke from the time he was a child, but Ben was only a child and Snoke was too powerful, too relentless in his cruelty for him to withstand. The one and only person in the entire galaxy who had the training and the knowledge to protect Ben was his uncle, who chose to try to murder him in his sleep instead of protecting him. Ben was left with nowhere to turn except to his abuser. And even then, we see him struggle every single day to try and force himself to be this evil person that he never was. Ben was light itself who was convinced he was darkness through abuse and manipulation.

Then, when Ben found the first person who he could feel and connect with through the force, even though Snoke and Luke had abused and betrayed him - Ben still took the chance to reach out to Rey and be vulnerable with her. While interrogating an enemy, he took off his mask and revealed himself (something we only see him to for his father and when Snoke forces him to maliciously). In the middle of a war, under the thumb of the monster who has tortured him since forever, Ben was able hold Rey’s hand and tell her she wasn’t alone. He was still able to be kind. And because of that kindness, that connection, Ben found the courage to finally destroy his abuser and free himself.

Ben freed himself, and he did it out of compassion for and a need to protect Rey, not out of wrath or vengeance. If Ben were truly a creature of wrath, he would have killed Snoke before, but it was only when he had to see and hear and feel his soulmate be tortured by his own abuser that he found that courage. And yes, he did take Snoke’s place at first because that was the only way he knew how to protect himself. In his experience, people without power get hurt and that’s it. But even then, Ben was able to muster yet more strength to shed the armor that was Kylo Ren and stand with Rey unarmored against the very thing that has abused and tortured him since before he was born.

That took so much bravery and love and selflessness for Ben to stand there as himself, ready to fight his abuse and trauma head-on as Ben Solo. For him to admit he was hurt for the first time in the series. For him to crawl up a cliff with a badly broken leg out of love. For him to willingly give his very life force out of pure love. All of these things are incredible for Ben to have been able to do after all he had been through, these are more than deserving of reward. But TROS punished Ben for doing everything right, they proved that abusers always win in the end. Ben was going to survive until the last few edits. Everything we see was literally leading up to him surviving. This was Ben’s redemption, this was supposed to be him fighting for his new beginning and taking his first steps into the happiness and safety he earned, and should have had as a child, not a pointless struggle before succumbing to death:

But TROS told us, told traumatized and neurodivergent children who saw themselves in Ben, that it wasn’t good enough. That love isn’t good enough. That doing the right thing deserves to be punished. That children tainted by violence and abuse and darkness don’t deserve love and healing even when they earn redemption, even when they do everything in their power to do the right thing and be brave. The hopelessness of that is what broke me as a person. That is not what Star Wars is about. Star Wars is about redemption and love and hope; TROS was about cruelty covered up with a thin sheet of materialism and confused, poor storytelling.

[a-pretty-nerd]

Rebellion

Tomura Shigaraki x AllMight!Daughter!Reader

Chapter 2

Premise:

When The League of Villians discovers that AllMight has a daughter, they are quick to snatch you up and hold you hostage. Shigaraki had a careful and thought out plan, but that was before you got there. Now you're in the mood for some not-so-healthy rebellion.

Word Count: 1,567

Warnings: Kidnapping, mommy/daddy issues? Fictional politics? Future chapters will include NSFW content and violence!

A/N:

I cannot describe how much fun I'm having writing this. Like I'm genuinley having a blast with this concept. The more I learn about Shigaraki for, "reseach purposes", the more I fall in love with him as a character. He's so complex, that character development, GOD! That charactet design, FUCK! The exploration of the complexities of mental illness from trauma and grooming, DAMN IT! He's becoming an anti-hero and I 👏 AM 👏 HERE 👏 FOR 👏 IT👏 Anyways, Don't forget to check out my Patreon! ❤

Chapter 1 Chapter 3 

You passed out again. Dehydration. 

You woke up in a sleeping bag. Your wrists and ankles bruised slightly from the restraints, but free. You laid there on the floor, looking over you noticed a few bottles of water and a granola bar. You took down one bottle in a matter of seconds before discarding it and starting the next. A horrible aching pain in your head raged on as you took in your surroundings. Light trickled in between the cracked of the barred-up window.

Your heart began to race as you began to sort through your options. Could you manage to escape through the window? Or were you on a second or third floor? Maybe if you asked to use the restroom, maybe there was a window there where you could get a better look.

Poor All Might, he must be so worried. Did even know you were missing? Of course, he knew, it wasn't like you to be out all night and gone in the morning. He'd probably called Mom by now, she's probably on a plane already. She's going to be furious.

After you finished a second bottle and the snack, you stood. You felt better. Not good, but better. You made your way to the door and knocked.

"Hello! Is anyone there?" You called.

"The doors open!" A new voice answered. The door let out a harsh creak as you opened it. It let out into the living space you had been in before. There, the majority of the villains surrounding you earlier sat around. You looked up to the figure that stood, leaning against the wall closest to the door.

"You're new." You mumbled.

"My apologies, Miss. I believed I was absent when you first arrived. I'm Mr. Compress." His sing-song voice reached out from behind a mask.

"A pleasure." You groaned back. "Why is the door unlocked, aren't you afraid I'll break free?" You asked the room. They all turned to look at you.

"I doubt you could fight all of us at once." The red-eyed man had the hand again.

"Bathroom?" You asked. Mr. Compress pointed you in the right direction and you walked off. The only window in there was way too small and too high up to help you. You finished your business and washed your hands before looking at yourself in the mirror. You looked tired and worn out.

You shuffled back into the living room and found the group lounging around. A Tv played the news non-stop. A few of them were passing the time by playing games on devices.

"I'm sorry...Who exactly are you?" You spoke to the room.

"Wow! You really are clueless!" The girl mused.

"Don't you follow hero news?" Patchwork asked. You shrugged.

"I never really paid attention to what was happening over here. All I know is what Dad has told me. He's mentioned 'The League of Villians' a couple of times, but I guess I wasn't listening. Hero news back home is, different."

"You know of All For One, don't you?" The red-eyed man asked without taking his gaze off the Tv.

"Yeah. You're his associates, or something aren't you? Like his henchmen?" A few chuckled.

"You can call me Toga!"

"Twice!"

"Spinner."

"Dabi."

"'Henchmen'...hehe. No, I wouldn't say that." Red-eye stood and began making his way closer and closer, holding a bottle of water in his hand. Careful to hold a finger away from it. "There is nothing I hate more than heroes. This wretched society that rewards such self-serving narcissists." Closer. "We seek to destroy it." Closer. You're backed against a wall now. You watched him place his last digit down on the bottle. It began to crumble before shattering to dust in his grasp. "My name is Shigaraki Tomura. You can consider me, All For One's heir. The future King of Villians." He came so close the wrist of the hand on his face rested dangerously close to your chin. His red eye stared down at you. Your heart raced.

"Oh yes. I've heard of you." You whispered.

"Good." He hummed before turning back and taking his seat again.

"How could you let this happen!?"

"I didn't know this would happen! She's strong, she's an adult now! I thought she could handle herself!"

"She's just a kid! She could be dead by now or worse!" Your mother cried. Her fists firmly slammed on the table where your father sat. Policemen and detectives scattered about the apartment. When you hadn't returned after a few hours, All Might went down to the gym. He found your bag, but no sign of you. First thing he did was call the police and then your mother. She arrived less than 24hrs after receiving the call. 

“Please Ms. L/N, we’re doing everything we can. We’ve got the best team in Musutafu looking for her.” Detective Tsukauchi was the second person he called. He felt better knowing his friend was on the case, he had faith that if anyone could find you, it was Tsukauchi. 

“Everyone knows if a victim of kidnapping hasn’t been found in the first 24hrs its hopeless! How could you be so sure about this?” 

“I understand your frustrations ma’am, but we already have reason to believe we know who took her, and motive. At this rate, we’re just trying to track down their location.” 

“Its the League isn’t it? They’re using her to get to me aren’t they?” Your father sulked in his chair. His eyes fixated on his hands which sat in his lap. He shook with fear, rage, disappointment, all targetted at himself.  He took sole responsibility for your kidnapping. Your mother fumed across the table from him, arms crossed, and nails digging into her arms. 

“Don’t beat yourself up, we’re going to find her,” Tsukauchi assured him. Your mother sat there, gritting her teeth as she gripped her phone. 

“I have to go.” She spat as she got up. 

“Huh!? You’re not going after her yourself are you?” 

“No. I sent for Xavier, Y/N’s boyfriend as soon as I arrived. I’m going to meet him at the airport.

“Boyfriend? Y/N never said anything about a boyfriend.” Your father watched your mother walk towards the front door as she threw her jacket over her shoulders.

“Yes, well, there’s a lot about her you don’t know, Toshinori. I’ll be back.” 

“What’s it like in America?” 

Toga asked with a wide smile as you sat with them. It was odd, they seemed entirely unbothered by you walking around doing your own thing. The front door was right there, you could have made a run for it. You knew that was a bad idea. They knew, that you knew, that was a bad idea. 

“Oh, it’s alright, I guess.” You sat on the floor against the wall beside her. 

“I heard heroes work for the military there,” Dabi noted. 

“Yeah, they are. Back home, heroes are organized into ‘Military aids’, or ‘police aids’. Meaning, if you want to be a hero, you have to choose between working for the military, or independent police forces. A lot of heroes go into police work because it allows heroes to be community-focused. But Military, that’s where the money is. If you want to be a hero celebrity, that’s where you work.” 

“Yeesh, there aren’t any independent agencies?” Toga asked, pulling her legs to her chest. 

“I guess the police offices work like hero agencies do here. It’s just a group of people who are authorized to use their quirks to ‘keep the peace’.” You used your fingers to create air-quotes. 

“You don’t sound too keen on the idea.” She pointed out with a sly smile. You sighed. 

“I know things seem bad here with heroes, but in America, it’s worse. The system was built so that people wish flashy quirks get the best out of life. It’s created a highly militarized country that only cares for those who have something to offer it. If you can’t serve your country, you’re considered trash.” 

“I’ve seen the anti-hero marches online. Things seem really out of hand over there. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a league over there too.” 

“It’s not anti-hero, it’s anti-military. If we could take away the idea that we’re supposed to serve the system, then heroes could be held accountable for their actions as individuals, not part of a flawed system. When you give these people so much power, they ultimately abuse it and leave the rest to rot.” 

“You sound like a villain,” Dabi smirked. You sighed, having realized how loud you got. You were passionate on the subject. You spent your college years working to analyze and fight against the system. The system your mother so willingly played into and encouraged you to do the same. The system that killed your friend. 

“Maybe here things are a little more simple. But back home not everything isn’t so black and white.” 

“It isn’t here, either.” Shigaraki groaned from his place on the couch, facing away from you.

Taglist

@craftybean13 @babayaga67 @imjustverable

[birdymuses]

🌹 + Ghost Boy Hanako

Send me 🌹 + a character you think you might be interested in shipping with and I’ll go off about what I think that character is like in relationships

[ So in order to talk about Ghost Boy Hanako in more of a vacuum I'm gonna stray mostly into the territory of Alive Boy Amane and what kind of partner he might have been were he allowed to mature into an adult, but it’s worth mentioning that these traits are present in my portrayal of Forever 13 and Frustrated Hanako, they’re just expressed through a more constrained lens. Tsukasa will also come up because I consider the way they relate to one another as foundational in the way they both understand relationships in general. Cut for long af, sorry but I DID promise I would go ham if anybody sent one. ]

SO. Ghost bf lore. Having anything beyond a superficial relationship with Hanako is immediately fraught with obstacles because any iteration of him is extremely guarded to begin with. The version of events where he's dead and full of self loathing for it is probably the most hard mode you can get in terms of having a relationship with him. Dead Boy Hanako is particularly averse to relationships with the living because he views himself as antithetical to the living and largely A Problem for them. Also like, it's hard to let other people look out for him when he sees himself as irredeemable.

That said, any courting you're going to get from him at first is largely what we've seen in canon. A lot of teasing, a lot of plausible deniability. Hanako is not forthcoming with his feelings even when he’s acknowledged them and let them grow to enormous volumes in private.  If they come out at all, they will come out in ways that are easy to cover up.

Hanako tends to be very all or nothing in his relationships, particularly ones that involve a lot of emotional honesty. Either you never pass beyond acquaintanceship with him or you plunge directly to the bottom of his hearts deepest pit where the sea of his affections could easily drown you.  He doesn't always make it clear up front when you've plunged from one extreme to the other, but it will show in his behavior if you speak the language of subtlety and know where to look.  This all or nothing attachment style is not always ideal but it's eerily similar to how he and Tsukasa work as a unit-- so swallowed up in their own secret world that it's easy to feel like nobody else matters matters outside of it.  

Being that Hanako and Tsukasa share the same formative codependence, both of them tend to share similar struggles in their relationships with others in my view. I mean assuming we reset them to factory settings and neither is too horrifically deranged.  Since it’s so easy for them to be consumed by a singular relationship, the two of them need friends and partners who can broaden their social interests even if it means prying those narrow sights open by force. Without any outside influence, the two of them are like cats.  They're either in your face rubbing all over you or they're always out of touching distance with hardly any in between.  Hanako in particular is not terribly comfortable being pursued if he senses that it's becoming less play and more serious, so in most cases you're better off holding off with your courting and letting him stew until he feels ready to come to you.  Whether his attachment style is helpful or harmful to the broader relationship depends largely on the participants and circumstances of the relationship.

Hanako can be very cagey and jealous in relationships where he does not feel secure and he can become cold/moody/vindictive in the face of issues that he sees no clear solution to.  This is even more likely if his good faith attempts at solutions backfire. Due to the intensity of his attachments, he is the kind of person who could very easily stay in a relationship too long even when it's obviously not working. Hanako is somebody who falls hard and fast even if he does so rather privately. He either doesn't invest at all or invests so deeply that he has a hard time untangling from somebody else. He would rather fix things than let go. He is a problem solver at heart, and that relentless pursuit often makes him blind to whether or not his efforts are "worth it".  If you’re his ex, don’t worry, he’s not over you. Even if he’d never date you again, even if he hates you and never wants to see you again, he is not over the emotional impact of you. That’s just the kind of person he is.

Hanako also has the bad habit of putting lot of extra responsibility on himself, particularly for his partner and their experiences together. If he can’t fix your bad day, he sees it as a personal failing. Hanako is often so absorbed in the process of problem solving that he may mistakenly insert himself into his partner’s problems and become frustrated that he is not effective in that role. More than anything, Hanako is a fucking boomer so it's fairly important to his old fashioned sensibilities that he is effectively “““taking care””” of his partner.  It is important to him to feel like he is enough, and he finds it difficult to feel that way even in the best of circumstances.  He's the kind of guy who wants to pull your chair out and kiss your fingertips and pontificate about how he'll fight anybody who looks at you wrong, just say the word. It hasn't occurred to him how much of his understanding of courting has fallen out of fashion and that maybe he could benefit from adjusting his expectations.

In death Hanako runs the risk of feeling a bit insecure for his stature. Often his immense power is a good way to compensate for that, but as a person who bases a lot of his own worth on perceived status and what he can provide, he very much regrets never becoming fully mature and growing into his goofy hands and feet.  In any case, alive or dead, Hanako tends to express his care for other people via things like pet names and acts of service.  This can be over the top sometimes, enough that partners who are uncomfortable with that sort of thing may feel smothered or put on a pedestal by him even if that's not his intention. Partners who don't enjoy being made the center of attention will need to have a talk with him about the nuances of that feeling, because he's unlikely to put it together on his own.  For Hanako, total sincerity is rare, and so it is very easy for him to feel wounded when expressions of affection are rejected in some way or another. He can be kind of a fucking brat about things like that. He does well with partners who know how to gently put him in his place when needed.

Hanako feels love in a way that is thick and bottomless and likely to bubble over if he doesn’t find ways to put it into the world. In death he is combative and athletic, but had he been allowed to live, Amane would have remained largely domestic, bookish, and unobtrusive.  For the most part he just wants to quietly be together, enjoying each others company.  He’s happy to help with chores, he’s eager to hear about your day, he will literally accept any smidgeon of connection you’re willing to give him because he is almost always starving for more. Hanako is somebody who will keep a polite distance until the day it becomes apparent that he is allowed to touch, and once that happens, he will literally never not be touching.  Hanako is very keen to engage in physical forms of intimacy, including all manner of touching, kissing, cuddling, and grooming. As long as he’s in good spirits, these are the most preferred forms of expression. Physicality is important enough in Hanako’s relationships that he would have difficulty adapting to partners who prefer a lot of space most of the time.  It's worth mentioning that Hanako expresses this physicality even in canon, clinging to Nene, petting her, kissing her, and combing her hair, and even occasionally being buddy buddy with Kou, but nearly all of this physical behavior is blanketed with a thin veneer of "what no I'm joking, it's a joke, this is a goof, this is not meaningful, don't say anything about it or I'll embarrass you."  Ideally he can develop long term relationships where he does not feel the need to minimize or brush off his desire for physical intimacy.

For all his moodiness and inner darkness, Hanako is a profoundly affectionate person when he feels like he can be.  He most likely doesn’t have the words for this himself,  but what Hanako most needs in a partner is a person who keeps him guessing.  He needs to be surprised and delighted by that person at every turn. He needs to be amazed that he can feel safe with that person, and that's when walls can start coming down.   

A successful relationship with him involves a certain amount of mischief, to be thick as thieves and share in a type of mutual joy that feels reckless and stolen to somebody like him.  A healthy relationship with Hanako requires a level of trust that he rarely permits himself to feel, but sharing in that trust is what allows him to love recklessly and feel safe in sincerity. Even if it’s hard to achieve, that level of connection is something Hanako desperately desires for himself. 

The most sincere summary of Hanako that I can plagiarize from writers much more talented than I am, is that he is “sharp where it hurts and soft where it matters”, genuinely a marshmallow of a man at his core. He needs to protect his soft insides with a charred and unapproachable outside.  Despite his harsh attitude, Hanako has a very gentle disposition underneath his rough edges, and that is something an accommodating partner can really bring out in him and reap the benefits of if they are so inclined.  I think that inner softness is a part of his personality he’s very protective of and secretive about, so he spends most of his time hiding that part of himself under teasing and rude remarks while desperately wishing he could express it in earnest. In an ideal scenario, the friendships and romances he cultivates will allow him to come out of his shell and be an all around kinder person on the surface

OH YEAH he’s also extremely playful, loves to tease, and he secretly hopes his date will wear his shirts + let him touch their hair so jot that down.

[sher-soc-the-famder]

on wings of faith

Summary: What does it mean to have faith?

Logan has never seen anyone's wings, and he doubts he ever will.

Word Count: 4889

Pairings: Nothing romantic, Logan&Everyone, Virgil&Janus

Warnings: Innuendos, brief mention of dead animal, brief mention of dissection, language, copious amounts of fluff

Notes: Written as a gift for @my-happy-little-bean​ so she can never talk bad about her own slice of life writing ever again :D

Read on AO3

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Logan raised an eyebrow as Roman’s loud squawk echoed through the park. Predictably, Remus’ cackle followed only moments behind. Logan glanced up from helping Patton lay out his picnic blanket just in time to see Roman tip over from a seemingly invisible source. He rolled away, sputtering incoherently as his brother raced after him.

Logan rolled his eyes and turned back to Patton. He tugged the blanket a little farther over, nodding to himself as the optimal spot to lean against the nearby tree in its shade emerged. Patton looked over his shoulder as another shout broke the calm air.

“Fucker! Get the hell back here!”

Wind brushed Logan’s hair back as Roman flew by, Remus close behind. Logan noted the jacket gripped in Roman’s hands as he twisted through the air.

“You wish, you bastard!” Roman crowed. “I’m gonna wash this if it’s the last thing I d-”

“Aha!” Patton waved the book Logan had packed earlier in his face as Remus slammed into Roman, bringing them both down from the air. “Here it is! Safe and sound.”

“A feat, considering what they got up to in the car,” Logan said, unable to keep the dry edge from his voice even as distantly amused as he felt. Patton giggled, hand coming up to cover his mouth. Logan’s own mouth curled into a small smile in response. He felt something brush against his skin, downy soft, and not for the first time wondered what his companions' wings looked like.

“If I lean back will you remain unharmed?” Logan asked. Patton’s giggles cut off.

“Oh, yes, give me just a moment.” Patton shifted, a soft rustling against the blanket the only sign Logan had that his wings had been moved.

“Thank you,” Logan said. He settled against the tree, cracked open his book, and counted down in his head. Patton cleared his throat, and Logan made a mental observation that it took him a full three seconds longer to bring the subject up this time.

“You know, I heard that there’s another specialist that moved into town,” Patton said. Logan watched him pick at the edge of the blanket. Roman and Remus’ voices rose and fell in the distance, interspersed with laughter and cursing. Logan remained silent, as he always did. “I figured you might, you know, want to check this one out?”

“My answer has not changed from the last instance,” Logan said steadily. “I am fine as I am.”

“But-”

Logan raised a hand to cut off Patton, whose mouth slammed shut.

“I do not need to see your wings to know that they exist, Patton.” Logan watched Roman trip Remus up in the distance, even as Remus grabbed onto his leg and dragged his brother down with him. “I can observe the natural world to know that there is something there that I cannot see. I can listen to the observations and studies of others to know the traits of the wings that you possess. Seeing does not exclude believing.”

“I know, I know.” Logan watched Patton blow hair out of his face, as Roman shoved Remus’ face into a puddle of mud. “I just- you know that we all love you, right?”

“You strive to show that to me on a daily basis,” Logan pointed out. Patton chewed on his bottom lip, and Logan reached out to squeeze his knee. “I am fine, Patton, and I shall remain fine for years to come.”

“Okay, okay.” Patton reached down and squeezed Logan’s hand. “You know that I just worry about you.”

“And it is appreciated,” Logan said, drawing his hand back. He glanced back at the twins and watched them roll down the hill. He felt fairly certain in saying that Remus had pulled Roman’s hair. He couldn’t tell if they had gotten around to biting each other yet. He raised his eyebrow again, “They need to be careful or-”

The two of them tumbled into the lake with a loud splash.

Logan grinned as Patton burst out into laughter. Roman surfaced first, visibly spitting water out of his mouth. Remus’s head broke the water just long enough for Roman to shove it back under. He shouted something that Logan couldn’t make out. The surface of the water rippled, and Roman took to the air, trailing water droplets behind him. Remus shot out after him, water trailing down his neck and into the air.

A rainbow bloomed behind them as sunlight refracted against the water. Patton leaned his head against Logan’s shoulder, and Logan finally turned to his reading as the laughter picked up again. Patton's wings brushed against his shoulder, and Logan wanted to picture them as bright and colorful as the rainbow against the sky.

~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~

Logan twitched at the muffled curse that came from the other room. A soft thump followed the noise and Logan sighed. He made sure to click save on his resume and stood up to see what the problem was now. 

“Truly Roman, if there’s a problem you can-” Logan paused and met Virgil’s eyes. “You’re not Roman.” Logan paused. “Or Remus.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Virgil snarled. Logan stared at him. Virgil slowly deflated and Logan nodded when he mumbled a quiet apology. Logan cast his eyes around the room, noting the brush that had been thrown against the wall and other various tools spread out across the coffee table. Their usual furniture, already widely spaced for wings, had all been shoved to the side of the room.

Logan felt his eyes slip close.

“They all left for something,” Logan said, an exhaustion tugging at his bone.

“They all fucking left!” Virgil snapped. “Janus had work otherwise I would have asked him to groom me today. Roman volunteered but then apparently Remus did something and he ran off to take care of it and that was an hour ago and I have no idea where Patton is and-”

“Virgil.” 

“-I have a job interview tomorrow and if I come in with my wings looking like a mess they’ll laugh me out the door and-”

“Virgil.”

“-if I could pay to have someone groom my wings I wouldn’t be looking for this fucking job in the first place-”

“ Virgil.”

Virgil’s mouth snapped shut. Logan watched the way that his chest heaved for a moment before he took a step forward. He reached out and placed a tentative hand on Virgil’s arm.

“Better,” Logan said gently, “I suggest you take a moment to breathe, is that alright?” Virgil nodded, and Logan guided him carefully over to one of the chairs, one of the ones made for wings instead of the handful with backs that he had around the house. “I’m going to get you a glass of water and once you have calmed a little we can discuss solutions.”

Logan took slow steps through the house, counting out a minute for him to reach the kitchen and get the glass. And then another minute to grab some of Patton’s leftover cookies, and a final minute to return. Just enough time for Virgil to have caught his breath. Logan handed the glass of water over and felt satisfied at the lack of shaking present in Virgil’s hand.

He sat down as Virgil took a sip and then started to nibble on one of the cookies. He threaded his fingers together and simply watched as Virgil visibly relaxed.

“Sorry about that Lo,” Virgil said quietly, setting everything aside. “I know my outbursts aren’t- aren’t the easiest to deal with.”

“Apology accepted and forgiveness granted. I understand that it must be stressful for you.” Logan paused. “I have read that ungroomed wings can also increase levels of stress.”

Virgil snorted.

“That’s a hell of an understatement. It can feel like wearing the wrong size of T-shirt if you let it go on long enough. ‘s why Janus usually has a day set aside to groom my wings. Helps with the anxiety.” Virgil chewed on his thumb for a moment. “He just- something came up with work at our usual time. I think he tried to get out of it, but couldn’t manage it. He left the apartment fucking pissed.”

“Understandable. It sounds as if that is time that Janus looks forward to as well.”

Virgil flushed.

“I wouldn’t quite say that,” he muttered. Logan hummed to himself. Now wasn’t the time to talk Virgil out of that particular cognitive distortion. He would simply let Janus know about it later so that Janus could handle it himself.

“I don’t believe that we are simply out of options while waiting for Roman and Remus to return,” Logan said. Virgil blinked at him. He snorted.

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about Lo,” he said. “It’s not like there’s anyone else-” He cut off and stared at Logan. Logan shifted in his seat, aware of the sharp gaze that Virgil could wear. “You?”

“I have assisted Patton and Roman with theirs from time to time. I can not do a full grooming without being able to see the feathers, but I can at least straighten and clean to a point. It should help you relax until the others return to finish the job.” Logan gestured at the pile of pillows on the ground, used to make the grooming more comfortable.

“I don’t know,” Virgil fiddled with the zippers on his sleeves. “It just seems….”

“Counter-intuitive?” Logan offered.

“Sure, I think I know that that means,” Virgil agreed with a small lopsided smile.

“May I propose? You allow me to attempt to help and if at any point it is uncomfortable or painful for you, we stop immediately and wait for the others to come home.”

Virgil chewed on the bottom of his lip.

“Alright, fine. You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Only if it makes you more comfortable,” Logan said. Virgil chuckled and slugged him gently in the arm. Logan ushered him to the nest-like pile and stepped back as Virgil laid on his stomach. The soft brush of air against his skin let him know that Virgil had spread out his wings. Logan carefully straddled Virgil’s back, the safest place for him to do this without being able to see the wings.

He reached out and brushed his hand against Virgil’s back until he hit his wings. Virgil shivered at the touch and Logan made sure to simply stroke the ruffled feathers at first. Logan let himself fall into the steady work of smoothing down Virgil’s feathers, placing the ones that came out at the simple action to the side, and making his way down the wings. 

The door opened and Logan realized that his stiff joints meant that he had been at this for a while. He glanced up at the sound of Roman’s voice, then down at Virgil’s pliant body. He poked Virgil’s shoulder and between the steady breathing and lack of reaction, concluded that he had fallen asleep. Logan smiled to himself and climbed off of Virgil.

Roman could finish up from here.

~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~

Logan would admit, rather readily, that he loved his friends. He would also admit that their little social circle had a tendency to be loud, full of energy, and overall exhausting. So the chance to sit quietly in a cafe- only the sound of turning pages and the soft background music to disturb them- was one that Logan always accepted when Janus offered it.

Janus slid him yet another cup of coffee, topped with just the right amount of foam. A little cream from the milk to cut the bitterness and nothing more, sometimes with a dash of sugar if Logan felt, as Patton put it, adventurous. Nothing like the blacker than black coffee that both Virgil and Janus consumed on a regular basis.

Logan eyed the other cup in Janus’ hand as Janus pulled out his laptop.

“Most research suggests that coffee is safe in moderate amounts,” Logan couldn’t help but point out. Janus met his eye and took a long pointed sip from his cup. His lips curled up into a sly smile and Logan wondered if Virgil would object to his roommate spontaneously going missing.

“Well,” Janus said slowly, “That’s good to know.”

“We are both well aware that you drink more than a moderate amount.”

“And what constitutes as moderate?” Janus asked, and Logan slid his book shut. Once Janus decided to be a stubborn fool on purpose, Logan would have to spend the next few hours talking his way around Janus’ ways with words. The most articulate people were not always correct.

If anything, Janus taking an obtuse stance made it that much easier to listen to and try to figure out what Patton and Roman tried to explain when they stumbled over and got confused with their own words. At least they weren’t trying to drive him up a wall.

“Around four cups of coffee,” Logan said.

“Coffee?” Janus raised an eyebrow, “That’s a wide definition. Are we speaking of a latte? A mocha? Drip coffee, white coffee? Which brew are we discussing? The amount of caffeine in it?”

“Four hundred milligrams,” Logan shot back.

“Black or white?” Janus took another sip of his coffee, “And there must be a time frame that this damage is being examined in.”

Logan stared at him for a long moment. Janus smiled at him, all innocence and teeth that Logan never bought. Intellectually, Logan knew that this was Janus’ round about way of telling him to back off about his health habits. Intellectually, Logan knew that Janus would try to talk circles around him and poke at the small little inconsistencies and loopholes that were there for as long as he could simply to raise Logan’s hackles, regardless of how moronic they ended up.

“You are being deliberately obtuse about this,” Logan tried to call him out, and Janus’ smile only grew into a grin. Logan resisted the urge to throw his hands into the air. “At least we can be assured that your internship at the law firm must be going well.”

“Oh, swimmingly,” Janus said, something smug in every line of his body. He tilted his head to the side. Logan tensed at the action. Janus’ verbal sparring left him excited but drained after each time, ready to dive into more research to throw in an amused Janus’ face. For a brief moment, Janus’ expression softened into something more fond and amused before slipping back into smug.

“Your wings really are beautiful,” Janus said, his voice almost a breath on the wind. Logan opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. Caught wrong footed at the sudden change of subject.

“I thought people who couldn’t see them, didn’t have them,” Logan managed to say, glad that his voice didn’t come out strangled.

“Is that what they say?” Janus made a show of glancing down at his phone. Logan didn’t call him on the fact that it hadn’t gone off. “Ah, it seems that work needs me. This was a lovely time Logan. I shall see you this weekend.”

Logan watched him go. The way that the muscles of his back bunched up before he launched into the air. Logan slowly reached behind him, to the empty space along his own shoulder blades. He blinked slowly and tried to parse out what Janus meant rather than what he said. He never brought something like that up unless he had a point.

Logan’s eyes swept over their table, and froze on the empty spot where Janus’ coffee had been. His lips twitched torn between a scowl and a grin.

Cheater.

~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~

Rain hit the windows, a steady tapping that reminded Logan he had left his umbrella at home. A good day to head to the library, he had thought. Only he didn’t bring a bag either, having expected the rain to hold until he got home. Really it was his own fault for getting distracted and losing track of time, but he would hate for the books he picked out to get wet on the walk back. He frowned at them. It would be best to leave them and come back for them at a more optimal time.

He really didn’t want to however.

He tapped his finger on the cover of one of the books, timing it with the rain. He bit back a sigh. He took a step away from the door. He would be able to come back for the books later; the chances of them being checked out in the next week was low. He shouldn’t be this disappointed about it.

He took a half a dozen steps towards the desk, not turning when the door to the library opened.

“Logan!” He blinked and turned at the sound of Roman’s voice. Peculiar. “There you are, Pocket Protector of my heart! I think Remus was ready to declare you dead so he could loot your computer. He wants to see if you have porn on it,” Roman came to a stop next to him and waved his hands through the air. “Luckily for you, I bought us another two hours before he calls the police.”

Logan reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Did you remember to lock the door to my bedroom before you left?”

A telling silence.

“Well!” Roman let out a nervous laugh, “It’s a good thing we’re heading home then! All we have to do is get back before Remus figures that out.”

Logan frowned.

“I have to see if they will allow me to put these books back on hold first, and that may take a while.”

“Nonsense!” Roman swept the books out of his arms and began to usher him towards the door. “I don’t see why you’d return them when you just checked them out. Brilliant as you are, I doubt you managed to read these that fast. Though I would be thoroughly impressed if you had.”

“They’re going to get damaged in the rain, Roman,” Logan tried to scold even as the sheer force of Roman’s personality pushed him out the door. “The library shouldn’t have to pay for damages caused by my negligence.”

“Pish posh!” Roman nudged the door open with his hip. “They’re not going to get damaged in the rain.”

“I highly doubt-” Logan blinked at the sound of pattering rain. Roman grinned at him, wide and ridiculous even as his shoulders drew up. Logan looked up at the empty air above him, watching with wide eyes as the rain hit something and slowly dripped down around them. Right. Roman’s wings. Most other people came with built in umbrellas.

“I admit,” Roman said, “That while I am amazing and fabulous, we might want to shake a leg about walking home because wet feathers are heavy. And a pain to dry. And this position isn’t the most comfortable to hold.”

“We can always return the books.”

“Nope, too late! We’re on our way, no turning back now!” Roman nudged Logan forward again, setting off down the road towards their house. Logan tried not to trip on Roman’s feet while still staying close enough not to get wet in the downpour. It would have been easier if he could see Roman’s wings, but if he could see Roman’s wings, he’d have his own and wouldn’t have to undertake this whole procedure to begin with.

His fingers twitched with the urge to reach up and brush his fingers against Roman’s wings.

“Roman.” Logan cleared his throat and hesitated. Roman glanced down at him and hummed in response. Logan swallowed and looked away from his face. He watched the raindrops hit puddles, sending ripples across their reflections before they scattered entirely as they stepped through the water.

“I believe I have asked you this before, but would you be amiable to answering it again?” Logan asked quietly. He watched Roman’s eyes cut to him from the corner of his eye. Logan kept his face stubbornly forward. “If- if I did have wings, what would they look like?”

“Oh, Logan,” Roman breathed out. The smile sat funny on his face for a reason that Logan couldn’t name. “I can tell you they’d be gorgeous. For who wouldn’t love a nerd like you?” Roman’s hands twitched against the books he still carried for Logan and Logan turned to stare at him. It almost felt-

It almost felt like Roman had tried to keep himself from reaching out for something.

“They’d be the deepest shade of navy blue that you’ve ever seen,” Roman said, looking at something just over Logan’s shoulder. Logan wanted to sway forward at the almost hypnotic quality of Roman’s voice. “Part of them so dark you’d swear it was black until the light hits the feathers just so and then oh, oh Logan. The way the blue shines.”

Logan leaned closer and Roman wrapped his free arm around his shoulders. For a moment rain hit his back before it stopped, Roman’s wing adjusting to the change of position. Logan wanted to tell him to be careful so he didn’t strain something but the words didn’t leave his throat.

“It gradients down towards the primaries, getting more and more blue as you reach the tips but never the same bright blue as Patton’s,” Roman paused and swallowed. “And oh, the size of them, Logan. Large like Patton or Virgil’s and so soft to the touch. If you could groom them, and we all know you’d do it obsessively, how they’d gleam.”

Roman fell silent and Logan leaned into his side.

“I wish you could see them,” Roman whispered.

Logan swallowed again and wrapped his arm around Roman’s waist.

“Me too,” he whispered. “Sometimes. Me too.”

~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~

“Come ooooon,” Remus whined. “Let’s goooooo.” He kicked his feet in the air and rolled off the bench to roll around in the dirt. Logan rolled his eyes. “I can take you just fine, you fucking coward.”

“I have seen the way you carry Roman on the days his wings bother him and I have no desire to be dropped in the middle of flight,” Logan said, returning to his book. Remus would calm down a bit if he didn’t give him his full attention. “I would not put it past you to forget that I cannot glide like your brother can, and a near death experience is not on my to-do list.”

“But Logan,” Remus poked at his foot and Logan determinedly did not look down at him. He could feel Remus fiddling with his shoe laces. Logan made a mental note to make sure he remembered to untie them from the juvenile prank that Remus undoubtedly pulled. “It would certainly get your heart racing and make you feel alive. We both know I’d never let you actually fall to your death. Even if the splat would be fun.”

“Accidents happen,” Logan said calmly. “While you no doubt have no intent to kill me it could still happen.”

Remus let out a whine and kicked at his foot, doubtless getting the clothes Roman had finally managed to wash thoroughly stained with dirt and grass. 

“But it’s so boring waiting for the edgelord. He doesn’t even do the fun sort of edgy, edging, ha! I bet you’re kinky enough to like edging.” Remus giggled to himself and Logan pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. Encouraging Remus meant that the innuendos would continue until they got to the fair that Patton and Roman had begged them all to go to.

“Virgil and Janus are the safest options for me to fly with, and Janus is playing babysitter for Patton and your brother so Virgil is the option that is left.” Logan turned the page in his book. He paused. His curiosity won out, like it always did with Remus. Perhaps this is why Janus and Roman refused to let them go camping alone together anymore. It had only been one bird, and it had already been dead. What was wrong with dissecting it for scientific learning? Logan had worn gloves for safety and kept Remus from trying to devour it raw.

All in all it had been a successful trip.

“And what makes you think that I look kinky?”

Logan looked up from his book to see Remus wiggle around on the ground.

“Oh come on, Dick in the mud, everyone knows the uptight ones like you need to relax the most.” Remus' grin grew and he waggled his eyebrows, “Plus you ride Janus and Virgil at every opportunity.”

Logan blinked at him.

“Some days,” he said slowly, “I wonder how I’ve lived with you for several years.”

“You loooooove me,” Remus sung, and kicked at his leg again, smearing dirt and mud along Logan’s pant leg. “You’d get so bored without me. Admit it, Roman’s pansy ass ideas are alright every once and a while but I get you the excitement you crave.” His laughter left Logan’s lips pressing together to keep from smiling again. “For science! I’m your for science partner, of course!”

Logan nudged him gently with his foot. Or both feet since his shoelaces were still tied together.

“Indeed.” Logan agreed, watching Remus’ grin grow into manic levels. He paused. “Sometimes, I worry.” He admitted and Remus’ head cocked to the side, hair spreading out in the grass. “We do not always express our care for you as easily as the rest of us and your love language can be difficult to interpret. But rest assured that we all care for you.”

Remus’ grin softened into an expression that rarely crossed his face.

“Roman an’ I may disagree on a lot of things,” he said softly, “But you’ve never been one of those things, Lo.” Remus’ giggled. “Besides! I have wings as big as my dick to prove that you all love me.” Remus’s shoulders wiggled against the ground. “I’m still open for that orgy if you are.”

Logan snorted and grinned at Remus.

“Maybe one day.”

Remus clucked his tongue and shot him finger guns.

“Knew you’d see it my way!”

“See what his way?” Virgil’s panicked voice cut in. Ah, Logan hadn’t noticed him approaching. “What damage control are we playing for now? I told Roman leaving you two alone was a bad idea.”

“Damage control for how much I want your cock in my ass,” Logan said dryly, putting his book into his bag. Virgil stared at him as Remus’ cackle turned hysterical.

“That’s it,” Virgil said. “You can make your way to the fair yourself.”

“But Virgil, I love you,” Logan continued completely deadpan and Remus’ laughter reached the point of silence.

“I hate you,” Virgil said. “I hate you so much. Your asses are walking, see if I don’t make you. I’m taking Janus and moving far, far away, see if I don’t.”

Logan grinned as Remus threw himself at Virgil’s feet, wailing about how Virgil couldn’t take his best friend away and he saw Janus first; how dare he take the best lay in their group away. Virgil struggled to shake him off, shouting about how they hadn’t had sex he knew that for a fact and-

Logan loved them so much he almost felt fit to burst, the warmth burning in his chest, making every day that much brighter.

~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~

The interviewer stood up as Logan did and Logan reached out to shake his hand.

“Thank you for your time Mr. Sanders,” they said. Logan nodded his head. “We’ll call you back about the second round of interviews in about a week so keep your phone on hand.”

“I will, thank you.” Logan said, gathering his bag up. The interviewer watched him with eyes that Logan had seen all his life he paused at the door and reached up to adjust his tie carefully. “You want to ask something.”

“You’re a sharp one.” They grinned. “This has no bearing on your chances of being hired, but you mentioned in your application that you can’t see wings?”

“That is correct.”

The interviewer’s eyes darted to just behind his shoulders.

“Then-” They paused, hands pressing against their desk, “Are you aware of just how loved you are, Mr. Sanders?”

Logan knew what the smile on his face looked like, had seen it directed at himself on five different faces. For years at so many different times. All soft affection and adoration. He settled his bag over his shoulder and nodded.

“It is one fact in my life that I never have to doubt,” Logan said quietly, “That I am loved beyond measure.”

~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~

“You ready?” Virgil asked, adjusting his grip on Logan. Logan craned his neck to watch the others wheeling through the sky, playing the usual game of tag. He nodded, feeling Virgil’s back and shoulder muscles bunch as his grip on Logan’s thighs tightened. The wind rushed past Logan’s face and into the air they flew.

Logan closed his eyes, feeling his stomach swoop as they rose higher and higher into the sky.

He never needed wings, not when his family would let him fly to his heart’s content anyways.

~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~

Logan had no use for the faith that brought wings to life. He had immutable facts; two that had no room for doubt or disapproval.

He loved them so much.

And they loved him back.

Nothing more, nothing less.

[luv4fandoms]

Earth Angel (GabrielXOFC)

(Part 1)

So this doesn't fully follow the Supernatural timeline, somethings have been changed (like Gabriel's death in the au world cause it was stupid and I refuse to accept it lol) so just a heads up. This is also inspired by @askpsychocas 's Angel Courting Ritual post (which I use in my story. Askpsychocas if you want me to take those parts out let me know and I will). This story also has a Scott Pilgram vibe lol.

(Also if anyone knows how to do the "Keep Reading" thing on the mobile app can you let me know? Cause I can't figure it out)

If you would like to be added to a taglist for this story let me know.

Pairing: Gabriel x OFC

Warning: Cussing, killing, slight mention of torture.

Word count: 5,668

https://ko-fi.com/luv4fandoms

(From @askpsychocas 's angel courting ritual)

Step One: Recognize your intended.

Angels are warriors, no matter what rank. Most are attracted to strength of will and faith in their cause. Bright plumage is often utilized. Angels either grow in brighter feathers or they naturally change colour in order to lure in intended mates. Large, well-groomed wings is a sign of vitality.

Obviously, this is a step both modern and traditional courting rituals use.

"Earth angel, earth angel, will you be mine?

My darling dear, love you all the time

I'm just a fool, a fool in love with you"

I sang along as I drove down the road, my latest case bringing me back to my childhood state of Florida. There had been at least three people turn up dead recently, all with their hearts missing, so originally I thought it would be a werewolf, but there have been more and more people talking about the recent "Dogman" sightings...So...Skinwalker maybe? Either way, off I drove from the case I just finished up in Alabama, back home. My stomach growling loudly was the only other noise beside the radio and the car, and it was my indication that it was time to stop in at my favorite diner.

A few more miles and I was pulling into the parking lot of "Sally's diner" a small little place off the beaten track, one you wouldn't find unless you knew about it or were taking the scenic route, but it was a diner that hadn't been touched by time since it opened back in the 50's, and it was a place I visited often when near. Once I parked I noticed a very familiar vehicle a few spaces down, and I couldn't help the smile that formed. Quickly stepping into the diner I was greeted with the smell of fresh brewed coffee and cooked onions...Ah...Home.  Looking around I spotted who you knew would be here, the owners of that familiar car, Sam and Dean Winchester, but what really caught my eye was the person sitting with them,or rather the giant pair of gold wings that sat with them. I looked around, but no one seemed to notice them.

'How does no one notice them?! Ok...maybe only hunters can see them? Maybe he makes them only visible to us...yeah it has to be something like that, just shrug it off Liz'

I mean, Sam and Dean seemed to be getting along with whoever it was...somewhat well...Ok they looked kinda annoyed, Dean more than Sam. So the...Being couldn't be that bad,right?

Heels clicked across checkerboard floors as I made my way over to their booth, the stranger's voice reaching me as I drew closer.

"Come on Dean-o, you love me and you know it" 

"I swear Sam I'm going to kill him" Dean muttered while Sam just shook his head.

"I thought I recognized that beauty out front,and I don't mean my car" I smiled, finally reaching the booth and catching the attention of all three men. The boy's smiles matched my own as they quickly stood from the booth.

"Long time no see" Dean smiled, hugging me tightly before releasing me to Sam who was quick to get a hug in as well.

"How have you been?" He asked.

"Good, just came off a job, though I'm guessing we're here for the same reason" I laughed.

"And who is this beauty?" The new voice spoke again, this time when I turned I could fully see the owner, and well...I was not disappointed. Golden brown hair swept back over a face that couldn't have been much older than the boys, whiskey colored eyes filled with mirth, and...something else, and a smile that was both inviting and also showed mischievousness. To say that the man...Being...was gorgeous would be an understatement, and the golden wings really suited him, both in appearance and, what you suspected to be a very flashy, playful personality.

"Well hey there sweetie, they call me Liz, nice to meet you" I smiled, holding out my hand for him.

"Nice to meet you too" he smirked while taking my hand and kissing the back on it, his eyes never leaving mine before he gave me a wink.

"Ok ok that's enough Gabriel" Dean spoke, causing Gabriel to let go of my hand and me to laugh.

"So, what's a beautiful classy lady like you doing hanging out with these two lumberjacks?" Gabriel asked, scooting over and patting the seat beside him, I sat down before Sam or Dean could protest, but made sure to watch out for his wings, it was bad enough the poor guy was tucking them as much as he could, I didn't wanna sit on them by accident.

"They helped me out on a case a few years ago, we've just kept in touch ever since" I shrugged

"They help when I need it and I help when they need it," I added with a  smile.

"Wait...You're a hunter?" Gabriel asked, looking honestly shocked.

"What? Women can't be hunters?" I teased, he opened his mouth to speak before someone chimed in.

"Here are your drinks, your food will be out soo- Liz! It's good to see you!" The young waitress smiled, Maddie and I were good friends since I started coming to the diner, after I politely publicly embarrassed and pretty much shamed a dude who was grossly hitting on and harassing her.

"It's good to see you too sweetie" I smiled, leaning up to hug her when she leaned down.

"Just passing through again?"

"I may be staying a couple of days this time" 

"Well we are always open for you" she winked before asking

"Your usual?"

"You know me so well Mads" I smiled, she smiled back and with a nod turned to leave.

"You must come here often" Sam laughed

"As often as I can when I'm near" I smiled.

"So, back to the fact that your friend here doesn't think girls can be hunters" I smirked.

"Now I never said that" Gabriel defended himself which caused Sam and Dean to crack a smile.

"I just mean...You don't...there seems to be a uniform with this type of work"

"Flannel?" I asked with a laugh.

"Exactly! And you...Well" he gestured to my figure, my blue polka dotted 50's style top, black cigarette pants, and small heels. my makeup light except a winged liner and bright red lips...it was true...I didn't look like a hunter.

"Sorry, I left my plaid dress in my bag" I smiled.

"I'll take it as a compliment though," I added, giving him a wink.

"So you're saying Liz is too pretty to be a hunter?" Sam asked

"Oh don't worry Sam, you're pretty too" I smiled causing him to chuckle.

"Isn't he though? I keep telling him that" Gabriel teased and I couldn't help but laugh at it, especially when Sam just rolled his eyes.

"Ok now that we have established that Liz and Sam are both pretty" Dean started, earning a glare from his brother.

"I'm guessing you're here for this case too," he added.

"Yeah,though I'm a bit stumped" 

"What's there to be stumped about, classic werewolf" Dean stated.

"See that's what I thought too, until I noticed all of the Dogman sightings being reported recently." I started, leaning onto the table to lower my voice.

"Wait Dogman, really?" Dean asked mockingly.

"Mock all you want to, but I know a hoax from real and Dean, we don't have another moon landing on our hands here"

"Skinwalker?"Sam suggested

"Possibly, but I've never seen one like this, legit looked like the classic wolf on two legs deal" I stated, leaning back in the seat when I heard footsteps approaching. 

"Here you are! One bacon deluxe burger, one complete breakfast combo, and two mega waffle plates. And here is your coffee Liz" Maddie smiled.

"Thank you" Sam and I smiled, Dean already eating, Maddie nodded and left again, I turned to pour syrup onto my waffles when I noticed eyes on me, turning my head I was met with wide eyes and a smile.

"Yes Gabe?" I asked before returning to my syrup task.

"Nothing just...Where have you been all my life?" He asked, causing me to laugh while cutting into my waffles.

"Mostly in Florida" I shrugged

"Until later on, then...well...then I guess it was just catch me if you can" I winked, popping a piece of the sugary goodness in my mouth and giving a small moan at the flavor.

"Still the best waffles ever" 

"So we are thinking what? New monster? A-a skinwolf? Werewalker?" Dean asked.

"Possibly?" I answered

"A werewolf and skinwalker danced the lambda?"Gabriel asked, I simply shrugged.

"Love is love, who are we to judge what two different species do" 

"Yeah expect when that offspring starts killing people"

"Well one good thing, silver kills them both" Sam replied

"There we go, Sam always coming in with the silver lining" I spoke.

"Pun intended?"Gabriel asked before taking another bite.

"Happy accident" I smiled.

As I ate I noticed that neither of the boys mentioned Gabriel's wings, even as they twitched and ruffled from being constrained for so long, poor guy, I hoped it didn't hurt. But the fact that no one had brought it up made me wonder if it was rude to mention them? Or was this such a common occurrence that they were simply used to them? Either way I watched them spread a bit wider while Gabriel stretched once the four of us were outside the diner, I could see now that the color wasn't simply gold, but an array of gold-ish shades, going from a dark gold almost bronze at the base of each feather, up to an almost honey color at each tip. They did shine a bit in the sun but they weren't the glittering gold I had originally thought they were. Though, even in their half stretched state I could tell that they were massive, and if unfurled fully would be very intimidating.

"So, until we know what we are dealing with, why don't you let us handle it" Dean started, but I quickly cut him off.

"Uh no. We ain't doing this damsel in distress thing, I can hold my own just as well as you two can and you know it. And besides, you know this town? These people really well?" After a moment of silence I continued.

"Exactly, so I'm part of this case like it or not" I finished, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You tell em sweetcheeks!" Gabriel spoke, walking up beside me. I noticed now that we weren't sitting, due to my heels I was a few inches taller than him.

"So where is the scooby gang off to first?" He asked.

"Ok fine!" Dean sighed.

"Dean why don't you and Gabriel go to the morgue and Liz and I-" Sam started before Dean and Gabriel both interrupted.

"No I am not getting stuck with him" came from Dean while

"Hey hey how come you get Liz?" Came from Gabriel.

"Hey, the only reason you're even here is because Cas suggested that we take you along" Dean pointed at Gabriel who simply rolled his eyes and looked away from Dean.

"Ok Sam and Dean you two go talk to the families, you're better at that, Gabriel and I will go check out the stiffs" I smiled before turning and making my way to my car before they could say anything. I looked back at Gabriel but found him right beside me.

"I love a woman who can take charge" he winked, I couldn't help but laugh.

"Hunting with those two, you have to, otherwise they steal all the action" I smiled while climbing in the driver seat, I noticed that Gabriel hesitated to climb in, and for a moment I wondered if he was afraid of my driving, but upon leaning over to tease him about it I noticed him looking at my car. I knew she was a beauty, a white 1958 Chevy Impala with gold accents, our cars were the first thing Dean and I bonded over. But what really seemed to be holding his attention was the gold pinstriped wings and name of my car...Angel.

"See something you like?" I giggled, catching his attention as he looked through the window at me, a smile forming before he opened the door and hopped in.

"And soft seats" he said while moving around.

"You really know how to spoil a guy"

"What can I say? I like to treat my men well" I chuckled while backing out of the diner and making my way to the morgue.

"So what was that about someone suggesting that the boys take you along for a ride?" I asked after a moment.

"Ugh, my little brother Cas decided that it would be a grand ole time if I tagged along with Scully and Mulder, said it would be a good bonding experience" he explained. 

"And is it? Do you feel bonded?" I giggled.

"I wouldn't mind bonding with you" he smirked, wiggling his brows and earning another laugh from me. 

"Sorry sweetie, I ain't that type of gal" I replied while pulling up into the parking lot. 

"So is this where we get to pull out our fake badges and pretend to be the FBI?" He asked, raising his hand like he was about to snap his fingers.

"Nope,this is the part where the sheriff knows that I'm a hunter and anything weird that comes in I get a call about" I smiled while stepping out.

"Aww, I wanted to play criminal minds" he pouted, and I had to admit, he could rival Sam in adorableness. 

"Sorry sweetie, maybe some other time" I patted his shoulder before leading the way. Just as I had said, the sheriff let us look at the bodies right away, and yeah...All signs pointed to either werewolf or skinwalker. 

"Well it looks like I'll have to get my silver bullets ready" I sighed while pulling the sheet back on the third vic, Gabriel walked around the room, looking at random things, and for a moment I watched his wings easily avoid everything they might hit before I turned my attention back to the body.

"You really don't have a problem with any of this do you?" Gabriel asked from across the body.

"An innocent person dead? Yeah I got a lot of problems with it"

"No not that, this" he gestured to the body

"Looking at dead bodies, hunting monsters, most women I've met wouldn't go near this kind of stuff"

"Sweetie no offence but it sounds like you've been hanging out with little girls then, not women" I smirked while meeting his eyes, his wings ruffled behind him in almost a shiver motion, jerking slightly open for a split second before hiding behind him again. 

"You know...Maybe you're right" he spoke, his voice quiet, almost as if he were speaking to himself instead of me. I tore my eyes away from his to look back at the body, a young girl, no older than nineteen, heart gone and a lot of her guts too.

"Wait" I tilted my head trying to get a better look at what was attached to where her intestines used to be. 

"Hand me those tweezers please" I asked Gabriel, motioning towards the table behind him. He quickly handed them to me and I plucked the strange fibers off of the body.

"Well agent, any ideas?" Gabriel asked.

"That my lovely partner...Is wolf fur" I stated before adding

"So skinwalker"

"Or Dean-o was right and we are dealing with a skinwolf" Gabriel replied.

"Let's stick with werewalker" I spoke, pushing the body back into its freezer and tossing the gloves off on my way to the door.

"Skinwolf sounds like some really weird porno you'd find on the wrong side of the internet at like one in the morning" I laughed 

"You sound like you're speaking from experience, something you'd like to share with the class?" 

"Trust me, no, I'll leave all the weird stuff to my family" I told him before calling Dean to tell him what we had found, he explained that all three of the vics had gone hiking out at the major state park where their bodies were found. So I agreed to head there and we'd all check it out.

"So you're family, they hunters too?" Gabriel asked when I pulled back out onto the road.

"I'll tell you about mine if you tell me about yours" I smiled, watching him from the corner of your eye. I was hoping maybe some info on his family would help me figure out what he was because honestly the wings were throwing me. My first thought of course was an angel but...I had never met one before...I suppose there could be angels out there, perhaps in hiding or fallen, but if he was hiding why did he show his wings to every hunter? So maybe he was something else? His wings were sure majestic enough to be angelic that was for sure, I had noticed it when you left the police station, the way his wings seemed...brighter almost. They were lighter in color, the base of each feather now a burnt gold instead of bronze, to a lighter honey color at the tips, but what caught my eye was how much more they shined than they did at the diner.

'Maybe the color is attached to his mood?'

"Not much for me to say sweetcheeks, brothers are douches, love em to death but, and dad...dad left a while ago"  he stated, his voice lowering at the last part.

"Yeah my dad left a while ago too" I nodded.

"Is that the reason you started hunting?" He asked.

"Partially, after he left my mom got back together with her first husband..he's a hunter so..didn't take long for all us kids to get into it"

"How many siblings you got?"he asked

"Six counting step siblings. Got one half brother, two blood brothers, a step brother and step sister" Gabriel let out a low whistle that made me laugh.

"Yeah I know, the kicker, I'm the youngest out of them all" 

"Yeah me too, but, that just means that we are the final perfect outcome, all the others were just prototypes" he said with a wave of his hand. I couldn't stop the laugh even if I wanted to, and the look on his face almost made me wonder if his whole goal was to do just that.

"I am so using that at the next family gathering" I told him once I had finally caught my breath.

"So…"Gabriel started after a moment of silence.

"Have you ever wanted to do anything other than hunting?" He asked

"Don't really know" I shrugged

"I've been doing this since I was nine so" I stated.

"So? You've got your whole life ahead of you! Come on, ever wanted to travel?" He asked

"I do travel" I smirked, causing him to roll his eyes.

"Outside of the country, France, Italy, places like that"

"Oh, yeah I guess I always wanted to visit like England. But work keeps me pretty busy, and it's not like hunting really pays the bills" I laughed while pulling up into the park's entrance near Dean's car. You heard Gabriel mumble something as I got out, but it was too low for me to understand, and Dean started talking as soon as I got out. 

"So what did you find out?"

"That you may actually be right" I replied as I made your way over to them.

"That doesn't happen often" Sam joked, earning a glare from Dean.

"The vics were all missing hearts sure, but I found fur on one of them as well"

"Could just be an animal that left that" Sam added

"Wolf fur? Gray wolf fur? Not here in Florida" I replied

"How do you know it was wolf fur?" Dean asked

"My stepdad hunts, more than just monsters, I know my fur" I laughed. 

"Ok well, everyone have their silver?" Sam asked, to which I showed my two loaded pistols and knife. He and Dean nodded before leading the way, leaving Gabriel and I to trail behind.

"You always carry those around?" He asked, nodding towards my weapons.

"Always best to be prepared" I winked, watching as a smile spread on his lips and his wings ruffle behind him. I found myself once again curious about them, were they attached to his emotions? Could he move them like an actual bird? Or did they just kinda do their own thing? They were the same colors as in the car but now with the bright sunlight peeking through the trees, they shimmered much more when you weren't looking right at them, like only if you caught them out of your peripheral did they look like metal. The hike was fairly quiet, the sounds of our collective footfalls and the creatures of the forest the only things meeting my ears, nothing seemed out of place-until we all reached the middle of the park. I knew that there was an old ranger station out this far, had been since the park was zoned, but a while ago they decided to make a new ranger station closer to the trailhead and exit, figuring it would be better than in the middle if someone were to get lost out here. The sounds of a branch snapping behind us had both Gabriel and I turning to look, but not being able to see anything. 

"Gabriel?" Sam asked quietly while surveying our surroundings. 

"There's something there," he replied, eyes darting around the treeline. 

"Just one?" I asked, slowly reaching for my gun.

"No, there's four of them," he stated.

"Four?" Dean asked just before something lunged at him, knocking him over and causing him to let out a grunt.

"Dean!" Sam shouted, turning and shooting the beast as it pinned Dean, jaws snapping at his face while he pushed back. One clip in and finally the thing fell over, motionless beside Dean who quickly got up.

"What the hell is that?!" Dean shouted, wiping the things blood from his face.

"Werewalker" I replied, looking over at the beast who did in fact resemble the beast from every werewolf movie I had seen. The body not quite human but not quite wolf, shaggy gray fur covering the stretched skin, hands and feet now clawed appendages, and the face having a long snout filled with long sharp teeth. 

"Ok that...That isn't natural" Dean spoke, finally regaining his breath.

"Well one good thing, your gunshots and girlish screams chased the other three off" Gabriel stated, still looking around.

"I did not scream" Dean quickly defended, to which Gabriel simply smirked, man he really loved messing with them, and honestly it was quite comical how easily he could do it. 

"We need to find the others" Sam quickly spoke, getting everyone back on task.

"There is an old ranger station not far, that might be their hideout" I told them, already stepping ahead, we needed to get this done, and we needed to do it quickly, if these things got out of state it could lead to a trail of bloody bodies and fast. Gabriel quickly caught up, flanking my right but also slightly in front, the boys on my left. Man if a girl ever wanted to feel protected this was the group to hunt with. About fifteen more minutes of hiking and we could see the collapsing roof of the old station. The building had long since started to decay, broken windows from rowdy teens, and holes in the walls and roof from most likely the same cause. 

"Anything?" I asked, glancing over at Gabriel who's eyes were focused on the building.

"Two inside" 

"Werewalker or?" I inquired further, watching as he focused.

"One's just a skinwalker...The other" he started, trailing off as his eyes widened before he muttered "shit" just as something could be heard running through the trees to our right. Quickly pushing Gabriel aside I unloaded my clip into the beast as it leapt from the brush, dodging it as it's limp body fell to the ground where I had been standing. I was about to ask if he was ok when we heard more noise from our left, Sam and Dean were only able to get a few shots off before they found themselves thrown, Gabriel ran over, an odd silver blade in hand as he began to fight one of the beasts. I reached for my other gun, about to go help when I found myself face first on the ground, a weight holding me down as a growl echoed behind me.

"You stupid hunter bitch!" She yelled, before her weight left my back and I felt her gripping my collar, I reached back to grab her hand but soon I was sent flying. My body collided with the tree before I even felt it, a grunt slipping past my lips as I hit the ground. 

"Liz!" I could hear Dean yell while I tried to fight off the dizziness. 

"You three will not interfere!" She shouted, before letting out a whistle, which was soon followed by the growls and heavy footfalls of more beasts. Who the hell was this woman? Finding my balance I rose to my feet, gun in hand and pointed towards her before she turned to look at me again, a smile on her face revealing sharp teeth. She wasn't the same as them...she was just a werewolf.

"That's cute" she spoke, turning fully towards me now.

"So what did he tell you huh? Or did he just give you a fun night and you were hooked?" She asked, slowly advancing towards me.

"What?" My face showed true confusion at her words, what the hell was she talking about?

"Gabriel" she stated, as if that would explain everything.

"He won't stay, he'll just up and leave one day, no goodbye, no anything" she added...oh...oh she thinks.

"And you'll look everywhere for him, cause he was the only one that ever made you feel alive"

"Listen lady, I don't know what you think, but he and I just met today," I explained.

"Doesn't matter, you're an obstacle, and I'll be damned if I lose him again"she spoke, bolting forward and grabbing my gun before I could get off any shots, her other hand grabbing my wrist and slinging me into a nearby tree. I could hear more gunfire, everyone else still struggling with the werewalkers as I tried to grab my knife.

"Oh no you don't!" She yelled, punching me in the stomach before throwing me back towards the station. I gasped for the air I had lost upon impact, when her face came into view again, her body pinning mine down as her mouth stretched into a smile. I glanced around, Gabriel, was helping Sam finish off one beast while Dean quickly killed another, but what caught my eye was the silver knife nearby, within arms reach, it looked just like the one Gabriel held but he still had his, so this must have fallen off one of the boys? At that moment I didn't care, looking back at the woman as she hovered closer.

"You know, I would turn you, make you one of my pack, but you see...You'd still be in the way..so I think I'll just kill you instead, easier that way" she spoke, mouth opening and starting to lunge forward when her body halted, mouth slowly closing while her eyes widened and she leaned back, examining the blade that now protruded from her ribcage.

"You're right killing is easier" I told her, watching as she slowly fell to the side, her body still as I yanked the blade out of her heart. I pushed her body fully off of me and stood, looking over at the boys who looked just as disheveled. I turned back to the station, remembering Gabriel had said there was a skinwalker in there as well, but the sight I was met with wasn't what I was expecting. A young boy, no older than eighteen was chained to the wall, the lower half of his body already changing to that of one of the beasts. 

"What the hell?" I heard Dean's rough voice ask beside me, we all looked at the kid, barely breathing and too weak to even open his eyes, but somehow found his voice.

"Please" he begged, his pitiful noise causing my eyes to tear up.

"Don't let me become like them" he added, we all looked at him for a moment, this poor kid, life barely begun and he was already a skinwalker...Now he was becoming...Something even worse. I looked away as Dean lifted his gun, seeming to be the only one that had the will to give into the kids request. The sharp sound of the shot rang out and my body jumped a bit, before feeling a hand rest on my shoulder, I looked up to be met with a comforting honey gaze and I nodded at his unspoken message 'it was for the best'.

 Night had fallen by the time we had dug a hole big enough to put all the bodies in and we stood for a moment after Dean threw the match.

"So..I have a question" I started.

"I have a lot- Like who the hell was that?" Dean added as we all looked at Gabriel, who never took his eyes off the fire.

"Her name was Sophia, we met...a while ago"he started

"We had a fling for a bit and then it ended, I'm all for getting crazy, but she was an animal in bed" he added, trying to lighten the mood, but if the resting bitch faces Sam and Dean were giving him were anything to go by, it wasn't working.

"So you mean I almost got killed by your crazy ex girlfriend?" I asked, arms crossed.

"One, I didn't think I would ever see her again, and two, your handled yourself beautifully sugarplum, even against an alpha, you two boneheads need to take notes from this one" Gabriel spoke, gesturing towards me, but his last quip wasn't what caught the boys ears, or mine.

"Alpha?!" I asked, looking down at the now burnt body.

"That was an Alpha?" Sam asked, eyes never leaving Gabriel's form while Dean looked upset.

"Liz just went toe to toe with a fucking alpha?" 

"And she won! She's a lot tougher than she looks." He smiled, walking up behind me and placing his hands on my shoulders. 

"You son of a-" Dean started but I cut off his no doubt, bloody rant about killing Gabe.

"That's how she was turning them so easily, the Skinwalkers" 

"Seems like it, Sophia always said she would do anything to make her pack strong again"Gabriel confirmed.

"I wonder if the bunker has anything about alphas doing stuff like this in the past" Sam spoke, by his quiet tone I knew he was speaking more to himself than anyone else but his words made my ears perk up.

"Bunker?" I asked.

"Yeah it's…" he started but seemed unsure on how to proceed.

"Our home" Dean provided, looking over at Sam.

"Home" I nodded, sure I had a family, but home wasn't something I had for a while. We kinda jumped from safe house to safe house making sure everyone was ok. As if sensing my declining mood, Gabriel draped his arm around my shoulder, the body heat seeping through my cardigan and warming the skin I hadn't even realized was cold. But what really caught my attention was the golden wing that also came to wrap around me as well, the fire causing a more orange glow to overtake the gold, but they still shimmered in the flickering light, and they almost seemed...Fuller. 

"How about we go grab some food, I know I could eat, how about you sweets?" He asked, his face inches from mine as I watched the light of the fire dance across his honey gaze, almost causing them to become the same color as his wings. 

"Yeah, I could eat" I nodded.

"Alright, let's head out"Dean spoke, turning to leave. 

"And uh, if you don't have any more cases...You can come back to the bunker with us, there's plenty of room" Sam suggested, Dean looking back as they both waited for my answer, I thought for a moment, all I really did was travel from case to case, it would be nice to rest for a bit. 

"I'd like that" I smiled, Sam's grin mirroring mine while Dean gave a small smirk. We all began to walk towards the trailhead but I noticed that Gabriel hadn't followed, looking back I noticed he was still by the fire, staring at the now pile of ashes.

'He must be remembering the times he had with her' I thought, and for some reason that thought made my stomach feel uneasy, confused I pushed those feelings aside, they didn't make sense anyways, instead my gaze landed again on Gabriel before I called out.

"You comin' sweetie?" My voice seemingly knocking him out of whatever trance he was in because his head soon lifted so that our eyes locked once more, but this time there was something different in his stare and I watched as his wings rose high above him, stretching out to their full size. The thick mass of feathers glinting in an unearthly way in the flickering light, and for a moment it didn't seem like I was looking at a human form, instead I could almost make out a golden light, something that both held form and didn't, something that seemed ancient and unknown. My breath caught in my throat and I wondered for what felt like the hundredth time today just what he was. Our stare never broke, and I realized what I was seeing lingering in his stare...Determination.

I hope everyone enjoyed part 1! Let me know what you think! Please stay tuned for part 2 and if you would like to be added to a tag list for this story let me know!

[heli0s-writes]

Good in the World

Request: So nice thank you! Is there a way you could change the Endgame ending? You were a woman saved by Steve during his time on the run who in the years became your best friend but he leaves you behind all alone. He comes back years later as he realized he was in love with you. You are now struggling (mental health) and you do not want to forgive him as the heartbreak was too much. He does everything he can and in the end you both can move on together. 

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

A/N: My first request and I promised I would deliver something good for my boiiii. I tried! It’s angsty and deviated from the prompt a LIL. I slammed it out in a day and please God let it be AITE.

Images of him come to you in flashes.

Terrible little souvenirs of shared dinners and evening conversation. The once white and red stripes of his suit, grimy and soot covered. The way he held his arm out and asked, “You okay?” the first day you met after the shooting incident in the park.

Three days later, him at your door, checking in on you.

Steve Rogers, on the run, had grown out his hair and beard, had hardened into a fatalist. But he showed up with a cup of soup and sat with you until you stopped crying.

“Hey. It’s okay. Take your time.” In between blubbering stuck syllables of “Wh-wh-why? Wh-what the f-fuck?” as your brain tried to process the sequence of the trauma. A random act of violence in the park. Two shot dead. Four others bled out on their way to the hospital. You, missed.

Why them? Why you?

And he kept showing up. Not too often, but often enough to where you started to expect him.

He turned on the lights for you. Offered to warm up your food when nothing mattered and everything was cold.

Days turned into weeks turned into months and the fugitive Captain America turned into your… something. Perhaps a confidant, maybe your therapist, at the very least, a semi-stable-unstable fixture.

You imagined that outside of his cohort of similarly hidden friends, you were the glimpse back to reality he could have.

The memories of him sting you inside out.

And now that half the world had been reduced to cinders and ruminations and your life turned into one long and desolate dream, sometimes you cling onto his memory because it is all you have. He’s still out there, you know, because the news channels broadcasted every Avenger who was dusted, and they didn’t broadcast him.

He’s out there, but he hasn’t come back.

The fatalist in you has resigned to being just another human, blipped out to him like all the rest.

--

You teach the art therapy class held every Thursday at the local YMCA. It’s a shit-show, in all honesty, and you’re sure that everyone who’s there can see that you are in no shape to be leading it. Even with your shiny groomed hair and soft pink lipstick, performing the necessary task of femininity, they can see. You have nothing but the meager paycheck and the emptiness of a single studio apartment in a now-dilapidated building.

The current session is dragging when one of your students breaks down half-way through and smashes the canvas. You’re up on your feet, pulling him aside to practice the crisis-prevention strategies you’ve learned throughout the years. He’s sobbing and rocking in your arms, falling apart as he wails.

It’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair. Why did I survive? I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be here.

You tell him a joke. You hold his hand and run it under cold water. Strategies to replace the overloaded emotions with anything else. You remind him that he’s going on a date next week with someone he’s been very interested in. That the people he loved—loves, would want him to be happy.

He tells you the man he’ll be seeing is also in a group. Grief group. They met by chance. Talked about their grief. Cried over salad about their grief.

Yes. It’s okay. That is okay. Take small steps to move on and soon enough, you’ll have moved so far you won’t be able to see where you started. Go on the date. Let yourself find love and happiness.

The words pour from your mouth like running water, trickling evenly until he is all covered and cool. After a few minutes, the two of you return to the paints, and you pat his back and tell him he’s doing just fine.

The image comes, then, of a heavy brocade comforter wrapped around your shoulders, a cup of tea between your hands burning so hot Steve has to take it from you. You are staring into the dead screen of the T.V. when you say, “I try so hard to have faith in the good in the world. But this... how can it be good? This fucking shitty… fucking life.”

And him, blowing on your tea, holding it to your dried lips, whispering, “Careful, it’s hot.”

-

When you go home later, you drop tears into your own dinner because the stupid plate is blue and green and shines like Steve Rogers’ eyes and why the fuck have you never noticed it. The words you used to console your student are too close to the ones he had used on you, once. You throw it into sink where it splinters into a hundred pieces, and a little part of you hopes he feels it too, wherever he is.

-

On a late Thursday session, he arrives with the fallen autumn leaves as they gust in through the sliding doors. Crunching under his feet alerts you to the entrance where he steps in bashfully, as if he is a late dinner guest.

You furrow your brow because you’re not sure who he is at first, because your full session is nearly finished, and you don’t have room for another student. His once covered jaw is smooth, and the long hair you had grown used to seeing is shorter than ever, swept back, more flaxen.

He’s Captain America now, a paragon of hope in these dark times, so he’s dressing the part.

Everyone has finished cleaning their brushes and have placed their canvas to the side to dry. Your rags are slung over your arms, apron crusted with acrylic.

“Hey.” He says, like he’s been here for the past five years. “I heard about a really great art therapy group led by someone who sounded like you.” Then he smiles, like he’s your friend and not your flashback.

The smile is all it takes. You recede into a moment in the kitchen when you made dinner and the sound of tires running over glass bottles outside popped too loudly and your world suddenly caved in. By the time you returned, Steve was smothering a stovetop fire with wet hand-towels and splashing water onto the burn on your palm.

He wrapped you up afterwards with gauze and you half-heartedly made a joke. “Hey.” You called, “What did King Tut say when he had a nightmare?”

In his enormous and calloused hands was yours, half curled with the irritation of the inbound blister. “What…?” He asked, eyes narrowing because it was not the right time for a joke someone might find on a Laffy Taffy wrapper.

“I want my mummy. Fucking classic.” You replied, holding up your hand, gauze now tucked into the wrist. The fugitive Captain America had closed his eyes as the slightest half-smile lifted his face, and under the yellow glare of the restroom light, you imagined a good world protected by him.

-

He is different now. His grief is different, and his needs are different. His reality is the same as your reality, as everyone else’s reality. He no longer needs glimpses into anything.

So, you think, why is he here?

 “Hey. You okay?”

What the fuck? Your irritation pools inside you like magma, threatening to erupt at any sudden movement as you work to clean up the vacated room. Steve slowly moves forward, having been sitting down for the last fifteen minutes since you’ve ended the session early.

“Get out of my sight.”

He looks like you’ve just slapped him across the face, and a part of you wish you had because fuck him. Fuck Steve Rogers and fuck Captain America and fuck this shitty fucking world. He takes a few steps up to you, and in those familiar eyes you see how utterly worn down he looks.

Ironically, Steve Rogers clean-shaven looks older than when you knew him.

-

In the bedroom, on a particularly rainy afternoon, he had helped you put on the newly washed sheets no longer stained with the old blood from your clothes—splashes of other people as the bullets ripped through them. You’d slept in it for almost a month before he discovered it, and then, without another word he tore them off and threw them in the washer. The First Avenger, leaning over your machine, deep in thought had sent you into a fit of laughter.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yes. I did.” He was firm and too serious. You told him as much. It wasn’t a big deal, you said, sometimes you don’t even notice the blood. You didn’t have to tell him why you never washed it for him to figure it out.

“You don’t have to carry this with you.” Steve stepped forward, until your back was pressed against the wall. He put both his hands on your shoulder. “You’re okay. You can let yourself move on. You don’t have to keep punishing yourself.”

He rubbed his knuckles over his beard and pulled you into a hug when you shook silently.

 As he predicted, you eventually took steps to move on. It wasn’t easy, and it had taken almost a year. You still cried a lot and had nightmares almost constantly, so you hardly slept. On one occasion you were so deprived you had come in after a day of work and left the door wide open, collapsing on the couch. When you mentioned it to Steve in passing a few weeks later, he made it his personal mission to swing by even more. It made you uneasy, because as someone in hiding, having a schedule of checking on someone would make him stupid.

He didn’t listen.

At three in the morning as you laid sideways on the floor watching the second movie of the night, Steve had knocked and demanded that you go to bed.

“Can’t.” You sighed, “It’s been too loud lately. Everything… moving. Big noises. I get--” Your eyes squeezed shut, “scared.”

He called your name, jerking you from the haze that threatened to overtake you again, and pulled you up by the hand. When you swayed, he lifted you up and took you to bed, tucking the covers under your chin. Steve had turned down the temperature, piled on a spare blanket on top, and sat by your bedside until you had fallen asleep.

The next day, he dropped off a white noise machine at the door while you were at work.

-

“Get the fuck out of here.” You hiss, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m sorry. I j-just want--”

“You’re sorry? Holy shit, man. Five years, you asshole! It’s been five years!”

Steve takes in a deep breath and sighs, shoving his hands in the pockets of his dress pants until the fabric is stretched tight over his thighs. “I don’t know what to say.” He murmurs. “It’s been… really difficult.”

You nearly shriek as a sob threatens to rip from your throat. “You have got to be fucking with me, Steve.”

They’re the wrong words, though, because the last time you said that to him was the last time you saw him. Hearing them out of your own mouth again opens the floodgates.

-

The white noise machine accompanied by a strict bedtime routine let your progress advance just a tiny bit more, until it crawled along at a snail’s pace, but it crawled, nonetheless. Steve walked you through it in the beginning, turning off all the electronics, setting the temperature to a chilly 67 degrees, piling heavy blankets on your bed, and making the tea.

You told him it was stupid, but he was insistent. The two of you listened to a relaxation video together, practiced deep-breathing, and then he read out loud from a book on your shelf.

Your eyes closed for a few minutes. When they opened again, you were screaming, and Steve’s arms were wrapped around your waist and back.

“It’s okay. You’re safe. You’re okay.”

It had been two hours since he closed the book. He said he didn’t mean to stay for so long, but he was worried. He was reading on the couch when he heard you crying. You sobbed into his chest until he laid you back down.

-

Eventually it became a habit for him to come over in the evenings. Then, it was making dinner together. Then, it was watching a movie sometimes, curled up on the couch. You started sleeping better, having nightmares less, laughing more than he’d ever seen before.

Eventually, all of those things came for him, too. Eventually, he found it easy to be with you. Eventually, he forgot that he was shunned from the world, because you always welcomed him into your home.

-

It rained the night he kissed you. It had been raining all through the movie, and he meant to leave earlier, but you patted the place on the couch—his place, and gave him such a sweet smile he couldn’t bring himself to say no.

So, he sat once more next to you and you told him the premise of the movie you picked out tonight. You were notoriously bad about spoiling the plot, so he had laughed when the information was coming hard and fast and he clamped his hand over your mouth before something important slipped.

You bit him.

And the feeling of your teeth on his skin ignited something that hadn’t sparked in him since the war.

Before either of you knew it, Steve Rogers pulled you on top of him and kissed you so roughly you had to break away for air.

“S-Steve?”

He didn’t stop. He fisted your hair, latched onto your neck, bound your torso to his with two powerful arms and kissed you until you were dizzy. He felt so good. Warm and safe, like the world could disintegrate and you would be just fine as long as you were with him.

The days turned into months turned into almost two years and Steve Rogers was holding you in his arms like you were something to him. Like you could have been a lover.

It was too bizarre. You shook your head in the middle of him lifting up your shirt and held his face in your hands. “Steve,” He blinked the haze from his eyes, “Steve, are you fucking with me? Are you—serious about this?”

“Yeah.” He sighed into your neck, “I am. I’m tired of not feeling. And it feels good to be with you.”

-

You don’t think you can take any more of this. Seven years ago, a random act of violence tore your world apart. It took two years and the help of Steve Rogers to stitch it back together, until he took it into his hands and pulled it to pieces again. The world did disintegrate, and he wasn’t there.

The decimation poked a million holes in it, and you poured out of the spaces until you became nothing more than this. A shell. A husk. A monotonous thing, masquerading as a person.

And now he’s back, shoving his fingers in the chasms.

“I can fix this.” He says. “I think I can. I can go back to before. Before Thanos.”

Your perfectly made hair and immaculate make up aren’t enough armor to shield you from his assault. Him, standing before you now, pierces straight through your chest and your gut, and you are falling apart, all five years of nothing, sliding from your eyes.

“I’m sorry I disappeared. We—we had to go. He came and we couldn’t stop him. A-and, I think I’ve been too...ashamed to admit that. My failure changed the entire world. I couldn’t..”

You want to scream at him and say, I’m not the world. What about me? What about how you changed me?

But inside of your shitty fatalist veneer, you still believe in the good. Despite what Steve Rogers has done to you, he can still be the good you once thought of him. But the years have been unkind, and you hold too big of a wound inside to be healed by an apology. Even if he is good for the world, he isn’t good for you.

--

In the middle of you sticking a loaded paintbrush onto a canvas, the YMCA erupts into noise as bodies materialize from thin air in poofs of bursting smoke and ash. It’s like the snap in reverse order—and people are crashing into your supplies and students, and there is fumbling and screaming and so many questions.

Your therapy group is scattering like flies, grabbing their coats and rushing out the door, running back to their homes to find their loved ones. When a boy you recognize from before the decimation grabs you by the hand and asks you what’s going on, you gasp audibly because his face is still the same from the last time you saw him. Smooth, prepubescent, on the cusp of growing into a man but still baby-faced and gangly. Your eyes widen when you realize:

Steve did it.

Your feet are soaked by the dirty paint water from your bucket as you look around at young men and women chattering in confusion. Slowly, they move from the room and out the door where others are running and crying, throwing themselves into the arms of their families. Children sprint down the street, going home. Home. A word that’s hurt so many for so long.

Absently, you clench onto the boy’s hand until he taps on you to stop. Your heart might burst now, looking at him.

Steve really fucking did it.

--

Your dilapidated apartment building is exploding with life. The repairs started last week, and you wake every morning amazed at how the world can heal so quickly with a bit of human effort.

There is energy again. There is life again. Even the wind tastes sweet, even if you can’t quite remember what it was like before.

Memorials for Tony Stark pop up on every corner of the city, but even in the sorrow, the world continues to turn, and the pain is coated in gratefulness and optimism for the future. You walk there, too, under the light and against a gentle breeze, purchasing a thriving stem from a nearby shop. The florist beams at you, tells you it’s a beautiful day.

Yes, you think. It is.

It seemed so gray for so long. The sunflower in your hand is a radiant yellow bloom and you can’t help but smile at it on your way back home, a tangible reminder of the reanimated Earth.

Your steps quiet when you arrive.

He is blue and red at your door. Bruised and cut, but he stands facing the frame and knocks before he rubs his hands over his face and sighs, “Fuck.”

“Hey.” You say, quietly, holding the stem tightly in your hand as if it could give you some comfort or assurance. When Steve turns, his eyes are sunken and welling up with tears. A startling slash on his lip nearly touches his chin and over his eyebrow is an ochre patch nearly identical to your flower- dappled with green and black.

His mouth tugs at the corner, as if he could cry. Or smile. Because you are stepping forward, putting the flower in his hand as you reach for your keys to unlock the door to the apartment he knows all too well.

Down the flight of stairs, children’s’ bike bells ring and chime, cars honk noisily, voices argue and yell. The birds are back and singing. Summertime cicadas screech with the joy of being alive. You crack the door open from its frame and turn to look over your shoulder at the wet trails hanging from Steve’s cheeks.

With a small, hopeful smile at the man who has proven to be the good you need in the world, you ask,

“You okay?”

And he nods. And it’s enough.

[atlasfms]

                  ok   ok   my   lazy   ass   finaLLY   decided   to   be   productive   so   here’s   an   updated   atlas   intro   which   is   probably   mostly   the   same   except   a   few   lil   deets   &   an   fc   &   vc   change   !   (    😈   )   but   hennywa YS   hey   angels   ,   i’m   lina   &   this   is   atlas   !   i’ve   been   writing   this   pain   in   the   backside   for   almost   two   years   now   so   if   u   would   like   to   plot   w   him   pl s   like   this   &   i   will   come   to   u   ,   or   hit   up   my   discord   𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐚𝐧   𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝   𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫#0369   !

new   york’s   very   own   𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐬      𝐝𝐞𝐧��𝐫𝐨   was   spotted   on   broadway   street   in   𝐚𝐢𝐫      𝐣𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐧      𝟏𝐬   .   your   resemblance   to   𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒈𝒊𝒐      𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒂𝒋𝒂𝒍   is   unreal   .   according   to   tmz   ,   you   just   had   your   𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲      -      𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐝   birthday   bash   .   while   living   in   nyc   ,   you’ve   been   labeled   as   being   𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔   ,   but   also   𝒃𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈   .      i   guess   being   a   sagittarius   explains   that   .   3   things   that   would   paint   a   better   picture   of   you   would   be   𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐝      𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐬      ,      𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫      𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬      ,      𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬   .      &   (   cismale   &   he   /   him   )     +   (   𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒂      ,      𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚      -      𝒐𝒏𝒆      ,      𝒔𝒉𝒆      /      𝒉𝒆𝒓      ,      𝒈𝒎𝒕   .   )

TRIGGERS   :   DRUG   OVERDOSE   ,   DEATH   &   CANCER   .

:   //    𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒      .

NAME   :   atlas      (      to   carry      )      nathaniel      (      gift   of   god      )      arthur      (      noble      ;      courageous      )      deniro      (      notably   people   with   dark   or   black   hair      )      .

NICKNAMES   :   ace   ,   atty   ,   pain   in   the   ass   .

AGE   :   twenty   -   three   .

BIRTHDAY   :   december   third   .

ZODIAC   :   sagittarius   .

GENDER   :   male   .

PRONOUNS   :   he      &      him   .

NATIONALITY   :   american   .

ETHNICITY   :   english   ,   italian   .

LABEL(S)   :   the   jocular   ,   the   libertine   ,   the   lothario   .

OCCUPATION   :   model   ,   singer   ,   socialite   .

NETWORTH   :   50   mill

PROS   ;   athletic   ,   challenging   ,   charming   ,   curious   ,   daring   ,   debonair   ,   faithful   ,   forthright   ,   fun   -   loving   ,   humourous   ,   invulnerable   ,   passionate   ,   perserverant   ,   playful   ,   protective   ,   sociable   ,   spontaneous   ,   witty   .

CONS   :   abrasive   ,   arrogant   ,   blunt   ,   careless   ,   clumsy   ,   compulsive   ,   conceited   ,   deceitful   ,   destructive   ,   devious   ,   disobedient   ,   egocentric   ,   greedy   ,   ignorant   ,   meddlesome   ,   narcissistic   ,   obnoxious   ,   provocative   ,   reckless   ,   troublesome   ,   unstable   ,   vindictive   .

:      //      𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘      .

                  aldo   nathaniel   arthur   deniro   was   destined   for   greatness   .   everyone   knew   it      ;      hell   ,   even   the   biggest   ceo’s   in   new   york   were   shaking   in   their   boots   at   the   thought   of   what   this   young   man   was   capable   of   .   he   was   a   dead   -   ringer   for   his   father   ,   with   his   light   hair      &      bright   blue   eyes   ,   he   had   looks   ,   charms   ,      &      a   good   head   on   his   shoulders   .      &      like   his   father   ,   he   knew   what   he   wanted                        the   family   business   .   but   first   ,   he   had   to   go   to   college   .      &      only   ivy   league   would   do   for   the   son   of   one   of   the   world’s   richest   ceo’s   .

                  columbia   university   was   highly   prestigious   ,   private   ,      &      the   fifth   chartered   institution   of   higher   learning   in   the   united   states   .   besides   ,   it’s   business   school   was   one   of   the   oldest   in   the   world   ,   so   what   more   could   the   future   owner   of   the   family   company   want      ?      in   this   instance   ,   a   girlfriend   ,   but   he   didn’t   know   it   yet   .   when   nathaniel   met   scarlett   baccouche   ,   daughter   of   two   british   politicians   ,   they   didn’t   exactly   get   off   with   the   best   start                        they   hated   each   other   ,   in   fact   .   but   what   was   once   hate   turned   into   an   epic   love   story      &      after   they   graduated   ,   they   got   married   .   not   long   after   that   ,   they   had   the   twins   .

                  the   twins   were   stunning   ,   born   five   minutes   apart      &   kept   in   an   incubator   for   a   matter   hours   .   everyone   celebrated      ;      the   family   ,   friends   ,   even   supporters   of   the   notorious   family   .   his   hair   was   fair      &      there   were   arguments   over   whether   his   eyes   were   his   mother’s   or   his   father’s   .   but   since   he   was   born   ,   the   main   question   was   whether   he’d   follow   in   his   father’s   footsteps   or   his   mother’s   .   would   he   give   the   family   company   a   modern   twist      ?      would   he   be   this   generation’s   brad   pitt      &      be   the   star   of   hit   blockbusters   in   upcoming   years      ?      people   were   excited   ,   even   more   so   when   they   had   another   baby   ,   but   atlas   wasn’t   .   he   was   nowhere   near   it   .

                  the   deniro   household   had   it’s   challenges   .   they   seemed   like   the   perfect   family   unit   ,      &      perhaps   they   were   ,   but   aldo      &      scarlett   had   other   ideas   .   they   were   quite   strict   in   raising   their   children   ,   teaching   them   to   never   slouch   ,   to   use   your   manners   ,   to   keep   up   a   perfect   reputation   .   it   wasn’t   the   family   name   that   was   at   stake   ,   but   also   their   future   ,   because   like   everyone   else   in   the   world   expected   ,   they   wanted   their   children   to   grow   up      &      take   over   one   of   their   careers   ,      &      they   groomed   them   to   do   just   that   .   atlas   hated   it   .

                  he   hated   the   daily   tutors   supplied   by   his   father   ,   lessons   in   business      &      the   history   of   the   family’s   .   he   despised   the   acting   classes   his   mother   forced   him   to   take   ,   ones   which   he’d   often   skip   out   on   but   then   would   get   into   trouble   once   his   parents   found   out   .   he   felt   trapped      ;      forced   to   do   things   he   grew   to   loathe   .   to   him   ,   it   was   obvious   that   he   could   do   neither   of   the   things   his   parents   wanted   him   to   do   .   so   the   more   they   pushed   ,   the   more   he   pulled   away   .   he   started   to   feel   less   like   their   son   but   a   puppet   whose   strings   they   kept   pulling   .

                  what   he   didn’t   hate   ,   though   ,   was   the   feeling   if   his   fingers   on   guitar   strings   ,   singing   in   the   shower   because   that   was   the   only   place   he   could   sing   without   his   parents   complaining   about   him   making   a   noise   .   diane   would   often   smile   at   him   after   they   chastise   him      &      quietly   compliment   him   on   his   voice   ,   telling   him   he’d   do   great   things   one   day   .   of   course   ,   he   already   knew   this   .   his   music   teacher   told   him   once   that   he   could   sing   the   birds   to   silence   .

                  school   was   enjoyable   ,   as   it   goes   .   all   deniro   children   were   educated   in   a   private   school   ,      &      although   he   was   close   to   his   sisters   ,   he   made   friends   easily   .   he   had   a   charming   smile      &      witt   that   only   few   would   understand   ,   he   was   the   sort   of   kid   who   got   along   with   anyone   ,   but   he   couldn’t   consider   any   of   them   to   be   close   friends   .   so   whereas   to   them   he   looked   happy   ,   he   was   quite   the   opposite      ;      atlas   eventually   got   tired   of   his   parents   controlling   his   life   so   instead   of   keeping   up   his   otherwise   impeccable   reputation   ,   he   started   to   rebel   .

                  he   didn’t   really   do   a   lot   at   first   .   snuck   out   to   a   few   parties   ,   stayed   out   later   than   his   curfew   allowed   him   to   .   did   the   opposite   of   everything   his   parents   wanted   him   to   do   ,   be   that   going   to   the   classes   they   arranged   for   him   or   behave   himself   in   general   .   he   just   wanted   to   live   his   own   life   ,   do   what   he   wanted   .   he   wanted   to   focus   on   his   music      &      follow   a   path   that   he   knew   he   would   enjoy   .   so   he   decided   he’d   do   just   that   ,      &      for   a   while   he   felt   a   little   glimpse   of   what   being   truly   happy   felt   like   .

                  however   in   high   school   ,   atlas   got   involved   with   the   wrong   crowd   .   they   introduced   him   to   a   world   he   had   yet   to   really   experience      ;      a   world   full   of   alcohol   ,   sex   ,   drugs   ,      &      general   trouble   .   he   knew   he   shouldn’t   have   stuck   around   it   ,   but   it   was   addicting   .   it   was   so   unlike   the   restrained   life   he   grew   up   with   ,   that   he   jumped   right   into   it      &      found   himself   unable   to   get   out   of   .   there   was   more   to   it   ,   though   .   the   more   he   rebelled   the   more   people   started   to   notice   him   .   how   structured   his   jawline   was   ,   how   illuminated   his   eyes   were   under   any   light   .

                  atlas   hadn’t   really   had   an   interest   in   social   media   before   .   of   course   ,   he   had   an   instagram   account   that   he   barely   used   ,      &      didn’t   really   start   using   until   someone   mentioned   he   should   start   modelling   .   sure   ,   they   were   joking   but   avery   actually   considered   it      &      started   posting   pictures   of   himself   .   his   following   plummeted   ,      &      in   the   november   of   his   sophomore   year   he   was   scouted   a   modeling   agency      &      became   one   of   vogue’s   most   promising   talents   .

                  his   career   exploded   from   then   on   ,      &      so   did   his   popularity   .   he   met   people   he   would   never   have   had   the   chance   to   meet   otherwise   ,   more   specifically   someone   called   jason   .   the   pair   quickly   became   good   friends   ,   they   went   to   the   same   school   so   it   was   convenient   .   jason   acted   as   a   good   influence   on   avery   but   atlas   acted   like   a   bad   influence   on   him   ,   dragging   him   into   the   world   he   found   himself   stuck   in   which   is   when   things   started   going   downhill   .   jason   grew   a   little   too   accustomed   to   narcotics   ,   but   at   first   atlas   didn’t   notice   .   he   wasn’t   really   one   to   talk   ,   anyway   .

                  one   night   the   boys   headed   to   los   angeles   to   celebrate   their   upcoming   graduation   ,      &      before   going   for   a   night   out   they   decided   to   have   pre   -   drinks   in   their   hotel   room      &      started   popping   pills   .   atlas   didn’t   really   see   how   many   jason   took   ,   but   before   he   could   warn   him   it   was   already   too   late   .   everything   else   from   that   night   was   a   blur   of   blue   flashing   lights      &      a   lot   of   strangers   shouting   out   medical   terms   he   didn’t   understand   .   the   only   thing   he   really   remembered   from   that   night   were   the   words   ‘   he’s   dead   ’   .      &      an   overwhelming   feeling   that   it   was   his   fault   .

                  the   tragedy   of   jason’s   death   left   atlas   in   a   state   of   seclusion   .   he   spent   three   solid   months   alone   in   his   room   ,   blaming   himself   for   what   happened   ,   but   he   didn’t   stop   the   drugs   .   if   anything   ,   he   used   them   as   an   escapism   ,      &      when   his  ��parents   gave   him   an   ultimatum      :      rehab   or   college   ,   he   chose   the   latter   .   he   enrolled   in   columbia      &      took   up   the   same   business   course   his   father   did   .   for   the   first   month   ,   he   was   bitter   ,   cold   to   everyone   ,   would   barely   talk   if   he   could   help   it   .

                  but   some   of   his   old   school   friends   went   to   the   same   college   as   him   ,      &      atlas   started   to   feel   more   like   himself   again      (      or   a   version   of   himself   that   felt   similar   to   what   he   was   before      )      &      tried   to   forget   jason      &      everything   that   happened   .   his   parents   has   covered   up   the   death   so   avery   wasn’t   related   to   it   ,   a   cleverly   articulated   plan   to   keep   it   out   of   the   papers   .   but   that   didn’t   stop   the   questions   ,   which   avery   would   quickly   divert   in   order   to   forget   .   he   had   to   forget   .

                  he   didn’t   .   jason   was   his   friend   ,      &      one   of   the   few   people   who   truly   understood   him   .   jason   always   believed   in   atlas’s   music   ,   so   it   only   felt   right   that   he   returned   to   him   .   if   not   for   himself   ,   then   for   the   memory   of   his   late   friend   .   so   he   dropped   out   of   college   ,   found   himself   a   management      &      started   writing   songs   ,   composing   music   .   at   first   it   was   difficult      ;      every   time   he   sang   a   song   or   played   a   tune   ,   he’d   remember   jason   .   but   after   time   he   eased   into   it   ,   dropped   out   of   college   ,      &      has   been   working   on   his   first   album   ever   since   .

                  atlas   became   an   all   together   different   person   .   he   became   manipulative   ,   deceitful   ,   partying   every   night   to   erase   the   memory   of   that   night   like   it   would   somehow   go   away   ,   but   it   didn’t   .   every   time   he’d   close   his   eyes   ,   he’d   see   his   lifeless   friend   ,   so   he’d   stop   closing   them   .   he’d   spend   nights   in   a   stranger’s   bed   ,   only   to   leave   in   the   middle   of   the   night   .   he’d   drink   away   the   pain      &      swallow   down   the   guilt   that   was   threatening   to   swallow   him   alive   .

                  what   atlas   doesn’t   know   ,   though   ,   is   a   secret   his   parents   are   keeping   from   him   .   in   early   january   this   year   ,   his   father   was   diagnosed   with   localised   prostate   .   after   the   loss   of   jason   ,   atlas   became   distant   from   his   parents      &      they   didn’t   want   to   burden   him   with   the   news   due   to   him   only   just   getting   back   to   his   normal   self   after   the   trauma   of   losing   his   best   friend   .

:      //      𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘      .

                  outwardly   ,   atlas   appears   to   be   quite   content   .   he   can   start   a   conversation   with   anyone   ,   act   like   he’s   interested   but   then   three   minutes   later   he’ll   get   bored      &      move   onto   the   next   thing   that   interests   him   .   he   likes   staying   busy         &      preoccupied   ,   thinking   that   if   he   keeps   his   mind   busy   ,   he   won’t   think   about   the   past   .   it’s   for   that   reason   that   it’s   hard   to   tell   what   he’s   actually   thinking   ,   unless   you   know   him   really   well   or   are   good   at   reading   people   .

                  he   can   be   very   cynical   ,   a   trait   that   he’s   carried   since   he   was   young   but   he   was   better   at   hiding   it   then   ,   now   he   really   does   not   care   .   at   first   it   mattered   to   him   what   people   thought   ,   now   he   couldn’t   care   less   .   he   does   what   he   wants   when   he   wants   ,   often   not   thinking   about   the   consequences   of   his   actions      &      then   dealing   with   them   later   .   it’s   for   this   reason   that   he   can   be   quite   manipulative   ,   using   his   charms   to   get   what   he   wants      (      or   who   he   wants      )      to   serve   as   a   distraction   .

                  he   can   be   quite   brutal   about   his   opinions   ,   learning   a   long   time   ago   that   holding   your   tongue   won’t   benefit   you   at   all   so   he   basically   just   says   what   he   wants   .   but   ,   he   doesn’t   really   answer   questions   directly   ,   especially   if   they’re   personal   .   he’ll   more   likely   change   the   subject   or   divert   the   question   to   someone   else      &      act   like   he   was   the   one   who   asked   the   question   in   the   first   place   .

            atlas   is   very   reckless      &      will   literally   do   anything   for   a   good   time   ,   be   that   getting   so   drunk   his   face   hits   the   floor   ,   or   so   high   he   forgets   his   own   name   ,   or   to   even   cliff   diving   so   he   can   get   some   form   a   thrill   .   if   someone   tells   him   he   can’t   do   something   ,   he’ll   go   out   of   his   way   to   prove   them   wrong   .   he’s   incredibly   stubborn      &      has   a   tendency   to   let   people’s   words   go   through   one   ear      &      out   of   the   other   .

:      //      𝐅𝐔𝐍      𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒      .

he’s   honestly   such   a   lil   shit   tbh      ??      idk   how   else   to   describe   him

he’s   a   vegetarian      &      has   been   since   he   was   eight   bc   he   watched   this   documentary   once      &      was   Distraught

his   vc   is   lauv      (   ily   bazzi   pls   forgive   me   )

he   has   a   dog   called   bloomer      &      he’s   his   literal   son   ,   like   his   actual   child

he   still   lives   in   his   huge   ass   penthouse   so   if   anyone   wants   2   be   his   roommate   that’s   a   plot   for   u

atlas   is   literally      ??      such   a   fuckboy      ??      but   he   denies   it      &      says   he’s   just   charming   ,   when   rly   he’s   a   lil   bitch

a   dramatic   hoe   who   lives   for   drama   but   is   100%   the   sort   who   will   run   away   if   it   gets   too   much   bc   he’s   a   mess

when   he’s   dedicated   to   something   ,   be   it   a   subject   or   a   relationship   ,   he’s   completely   faithful   which   is   v   surprising

adores   his   fans      &      will   actually   do   anything   for   them   ,   has   been   known   to   punch   out   a   security   guard   or   two   so   he   can   get   to   them

fun   fact   once   he   got   arrested   for   racing   on   private   property

another   fun   fact   is   he   loves   cars   so   pls   do   not   touch   his   bbies   thank   u

he   might   seem   all   fine      &      dandy   but   he’s   on   the   verge   of   a   mental   breakdown   but   won’t   admit   it

gets   drunk   ,   high   ,      &      hooks   up   with   strangers   on   the   regular

he’s   fluent   in   italian      &      has   a   HUGE   italian   family

atlas   can   come   across   as   being   ignorant      &         self   -   absorbed   ,   but   he’s   actually   really   observant      &      notices   everything

is   100%   the   sort   of   ‘   fall   in   love   with   the   moment      &      think   you’re   in   love   with   the   girl   ’   type   of   guy   but   it   lasts   for   like   2   seconds   bc   he’s   fickle

speaking   of   fickle   ,   he’s   had   many   relationships   that   haven’t   lasted   that   long   bc   he   can’t   decide   what   he   wants   from   one   minute   to   the   next

:      //      𝐓𝐇𝐄      𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐑𝐎𝐒      .

                  last   time   i   didn’t   do   a   summary   of   the   deniros   but   honestly   they’re   apart   of   me   just   like   atlas   himself   ,   so   i   wanted   to   do   a   few   quick   bullet   points   bc   who   doesn’t   love   a   huge   ass   italian   family      !

obviously   ,   the   deniros   come   from   an   italian   decent      &      let’s   put   it   this   way   ...   there’s      a   lot      of   them   .

the   deniros   originate   from   florence   ,   italy      &      although   there’s   an   ever   growing   list   of   little   additions      &      the   fact   that   they   ,   for   the   most   part   live   in   different   parts   of   the   world   ,   they’re   an   incredibly   tight   -   kint   family   .

the   deniros   are   also   very   ,   very   rich   ,   like   multi   -   billionaire   rich   which   collectively   brings   the   family’s   net   worth   to   obviously   extortionate   amounts   .

there   are   multiple   businesses   which   certain   members   of   the   family   is   responsible   for   ,   but   atlas’s   father   has   by   far   the   most   profited      &      therefore   most   stressful   one   .   the   company   that   literally   brands   the   family   is   called   ‘   allora   ’   ,      &      they’re   a   parent   company   for   some   very   expensive      &      luxurious   brands      (      i.e.   victoria’s   secret   ,   gucci   ,   there’s   more   but   like   the   failure   i   am   i   have   Forgotten      )

the   deniros   are   a   very   proud      &      highly   anticipated   family   ,   success   meaning   more   to   them   than   it   does   the   average   person

despite   this   however   ,   they’re   incredibly   traditional      &      spend   nearly   every   holiday   together   ,   as   organised   by   nonno   arnaldo      &      nonna   corina   .

atlas’s   favourite   uncle   is   by   far   his   uncle   toni      (      i   see   u   vi   hitting   up   his   ims      )

there’s   a   long   line   of   twins   in   the   family   ,   including   atlas      &      his   twin   as   well   as   their   father   ,   who   is   twins   with   their   aunt   camilla

they   have   kind   of   .....   a   pattern   w   names   sufjgjji   they   all   match   alphabetically   in   some   way   because   their   grandparents   are   obsessed   with   aesthetics

they   have   their   own   tv   show   coming   up      !      stay   tuned   for   more

uhhh   there’s   probs   more   so   i’ll   come   back   to   this

:      //      𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄   :   𝐀𝐒   𝐎𝐅   𝟏𝟑/   𝟎𝟒/   𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟗   .

                  good   god   so   much   has   happened   since   i   first   brought   atlas   to   life   agfkgjo   so   here’s   a   little   update   since   i’m   too   lazy   to   write   that   huge   ass   biography   all   over   again      !

ok   so   he’s   still   a   little   bitch   ...   but   it’s   more   now   with   the   intention   of   being   a   little   bitch   than   it   is   accidental

he’s   released   his   first   album      !      it’s   titled   ‘   damage   control   ’      &      has   reached   amazing   success   .   his   world   tour   starts   in   august      &      he’s   incredibly   excited      !

he’s   also   had   the   opportunity   to   work   with   some   incredible   brands   ,      &      is   very   soon   going   to   be   the   face   of   an   incredibly   successful   brand   that   u’ll   learn   more   about   later   probably

as   for   his   modeling   work   ,   he’s   the   male   ambassador   of   paco   rabanne’s   fragrance   ‘   1   million   ’   ,   he   has   his   own   personalised   clothing   line   collaboration   with   calvin   klein   ,   has   been   working   with   prada   A   LOT   recently   as   well   as   some   other   brands   i’m   too   lazy   to   think   of

last   year   he   won   the   fashion   awards’   model   of   the   year      !      look   at   him   popping      !

it’s   not   all   sunshine      &      rainbows   though      (      is   it   ever   avdhgj      )      because   after   a   recent   questioning   at   the   police   station      (      there’s   a   self   -   para   somewhere      )      he’s   been   getting   flashbacks   of   memories   he’s   been   pushing   back   ever   since   jason   died   ,   but   now   they’re   all   coming   back   so   he’s   been   resorting   to   drinking   excessively      &      abusing   drugs   more   than   usual   just   to   forget

in   the   same   light   ,   he’s   also   started   racing   again      &      starting   fights   with   people   for   the   heck   of   it

so   basically   ......   he’s   a   huge   ass   mess   like   a   bigger   mess   than   usual

BUT   HE’LL   GET   BETTER      !!!      it   just   might   take   some   time      &      some   help   to   get   there   but   he’ll   be   better

:      //      𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄   :   𝐀𝐒   𝐎𝐅   𝟎𝟗/𝟏𝟎/   𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟗   .

atlas   has   had      .   .   .      a   little   bit   of   a   wild   ride   the   past   few   months   fjdkgng

on   the   anniversary   of   jace’s   passing   ,   he   was   in   a   dark   place      &      ended   up   overdosing   ,   landing   him   in   a   three   day   coma

after   That   drama   ,   he   was   slammed   into   therapy   sessions      &      had   to   cancel   his   debut   tour   which   he   was   not   happy   abt   but   🤷🏼‍♀️   that’s   what   happens   when   u   do   stupid   shit   atlas

so   yeah   ,   he’s   been   going   through   it   the   past   few   months   ,   facing   his   worst   fears   etc   but   eventually   he’s   getting   BETTER

he   was   well   enough   to   take   part   in   fashion   month   so   i’d   say   he’s   doing   good      !

his   relationship   with   his   dad   is   improving      ??      not   Improved   but   after   his   overdose   his   dad   stop   being   pushy      &      atlas   realised   that   he’s   been   a   dick   to   him   too   so   they’re   on   the   mend

they   even   struck   a   deal   that   i’ll   tell   y’all   abt   later

um      ??      is   that   it      ??      i   think   SFGKJDG   WE’LL   SEE

:      //      𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒      .

𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁   𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱(𝘀)   :   the   people   except   from   his   sisters   who   understand   him   perhaps   better   than   he   even   understands   himself   .   they’re   like   two   peas   in   a   pod   ,   where   one   goes   the   other   is   soon   to   follow      &      there   isn’t   a   lot   that   they   wouldn’t   do   for   each   other   .      (      giovanni   narciso   ,   zion   kang   ,   open   to   more   .      )

𝗲𝘅𝗲𝘀   :   ok   so   atlas   has   a   lot   of   exes   ,   either   on  ��good   or   bad   terms   ,   for   a   short   period   of   time   or   a   long   period   of   time   .   this   can   either   be   angsty   or   where   they   broke   up      &      are   now   friends      !      (      open   .      )

𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗱   𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀   :   basically   his   first   girlfriend      !      their   parents   are   friends      &      basically   set   this   up   like   parents   sometimes   do   ,   thinking   they   know   best      &      they   dated   for   a   good   portion   of   their   life      (      think   nate      &      blair      )      but   in   high   school   ,   when   atlas   had   a   change   of   heart   he   wasn’t   sure   what   he   felt   for   her   was   real   so   he   broke   it   off   without   any   explanation   like   the   dumbass   he   is   .      (   antonella   cosmatos   .    )

𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀   :   atlas’s   penthouse   is   huge   ,   too   big   for   just   one   person   to   live   in   so   it’s   highly   possible   that   he   has   a   roommate   or   two      !      (      alanna   deniro   .    )

𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗲𝘀   :   sometimes   they   like   each   other   ,   sometimes   they’re   bickering   like   there’s   no   tomorrow   .      (      camilla   benvenuto   .      )

𝗲𝘅   -   𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴   :   he   doesn’t   really   do   these   anymore   bc   he’s   🥰   but   he   definitely   has   had   a   few   of   these   in   the   past      !      they   never   really   put   a   label   on   anything   ,   it   was   a   bit   of   fun   but   then   they   decided   to   end   it   for   whatever   reason      !      (   open   .    )

𝗲𝘅   -   𝖿𝗐𝖻   :   before   this   bitch   went     &     got   himself   a   gf   ,   he   was   the   biggest   hoe     &    probably   had   a   few   booty   calls   when   he   got   a   little   too   bored   .      (     open   .    )

𝘀𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗱   :   i   forgot   what   i   was   gonna   type   here   djgkgjg   but   yes      !      please      !      (      open   .      )

𝗲𝘅   𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁   𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀   :   there   was   a   time   where   the   pair   were   inseparable   .   they’d   go   everywhere   together   ,   do   everything   together      &      were   as   close   as   family   .   until   one   day   one   of   them   did   something   to   hurt   the   other   ,      &      now   they   can’t   stand   each   other   .      (      stellan   alto   ,   taylor   perry   .      )

𝗰𝗮𝘀𝘂𝗮𝗹   𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿   :   they’re   always   bumping   into   each   other   .   no   matter   the   place   ,   time   ,   or   reason   why   they’re   there   ,   these   two   are   always   finding   company   in   each   other   in   the   strangest   of   places      &      now   they   have   a   strange   friendship   .      (      kylie   castillo   .      )

𝗼𝗻𝗲   𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁   𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱   :   they   got   drunk   one   night      &      ended   it   hooking   up   .   it   would’ve   been   fine   ,   if   atlas   hadn’t   left   their   apartment   in   the   middle   of   the   night   without   saying   a   word   ,   so   now   it’s   just   awkward   .      (      donna   marchesi   .      )

𝗯𝗮𝗱   𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲   𝗼𝗻   :   they   work   together   on   campaigns   which   often   lead   to   long   days   ,      &      atlas   being   atlas   ,   is   constantly   trying   to   think   of   reasons   to   get   drunk      &      this   poor   person   is   always   being   dragged   into   his   bad   habits   .      (      open   .      )

𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱   𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲   :   atlas   is   the   sort   of   person   who’s   always   making   bad   decisions      &      as   a   result   can   be   quite   pessimistic   .   despite   him   constantly   trying   to   antagonize   them   ,   this   person   serves   as   a   good   influence   on   him   so   their   friendship   ,   however   strangely   surprising   is   something   of   a   miracle   .      (      open   .      )

𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲   𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽   :   although   atlas   taking   things   seriously   is   sometimes   a   task   in   itself   ,   when   it   comes   to   his   friends   he’ll   go   to   the   ends   of   the   earth   for   them   ,   especially   for   this   person   .   he   won’t   see   anything   bad   happen   to   them      &      will   always   have   their   back   no   matter   what   .      (      vera   bantini   .      )

𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹   𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆   /   𝘄𝗼𝗻’𝘁   𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆   :   she   knew   his   sisters   first   ,      &      when   they   met   for   the   first   time   at   atlas’s   parents   yacht   party   in   2015   they   developed   some   sort   of   flirtationship   .   over   the   years   ,   what   was   once   harmless   flirting   became   something   much   more   than   that      &      it’s   now   at   the   point   where   they’re   on   the   verge   of   dating   but   haven’t   made   it   official   yet   .      (      violet   lennox   .      )

𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗲   𝗼𝗿   𝗱𝗶𝗲   :   be   it   racing   or   anything   sporadically   reckless   ,   these   pair   do   it   together      &      have   earned   quite   a   name   for   themselves   .   whether   they   get   caught   or   not   ,   they’re   in   it   for   a   good   time   not   a   long   time      &      at   the   times   that   they   find   themselves   behind   jail   cells   ,   at   least   they   have   millions   of   dollars   to   bail   them   out   .      (      ellie   flynn   .      )

𝘁𝗵𝗲   𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘂𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿   :   this   person   dragged   atlas   into   a   world   that   he’s   been   stuck   in   since   high   school   .   he   joined   their   group   of   friends   in   sophomore   year      &      it   was   here   where   his   reputation   started   to   build   .   although   he   knows   he   shouldn’t   ,   he   feels   grateful   for   them   because   it   was   at   this   time   that   he   realised   he   should   do   what   he   wants      &      not   give   a   damn   about   what   anyone   thinks   .      (      open   .      )

[langandlitanxiety]

Zofia Ossowska & Pola Żuk

The theme of sexuality in William Shakespeare’s “Othello”

Introduction

Over the course of Shakespeare’s artwork progress and evolution, his readers can observe his significantly increasing interest in the psychology of sex. Othello is his most widely exploring this topic piece, as the author investigates many varieties of sexuality concerning not only people of the same race and class, but also the ones having different ethnic origins and social statuses. General controversy spread around a black man being the eponymous character inspired Shakespeare to also present stereotypes of interracial sex that affect both family’s of the white, pure girl and the couple itself. Such stereotypes are mostly introduced by the main villain, Iago, who is most frequently using animal imagery to describe them as well as Othello’s and Desdemona’s intimate moments. His language only adds spiciness to the scenes concerning the characters he is speaking about and tension in the reader, as such imagery really evokes one’s imagination and in this case, often disgust.

Imagery used to refer to Othello and his intimate life with Desdemona (and the reaction of Desdemona’s father)

The first scene in which Iago comments on Othello’s and Desdemona’s sex life is when he wants to cause chaos and conflict between Brabantio, Desdemona’s father, and the couple. In order to do that, he puts an image of the dirty, old man shamingly interacting with his pure, young daughter and highlights the possibility of Desdemona getting pregnant with the child of the devil (such metaphor derives from Othello’s dark skin color).

“Zounds, sir, you’re robbed, for shame put on your gown!

Your heart is burst, you have lost half your soul,

Even now, now, very now, ​an old black ram

Is tupping your ​white ewe​! Arise, arise,

Awake the snorting citizens with the bell

Or else ​the devil will make a grandsire of you​, Arise I say!” (1.1.84-91)

Iago suggests that the fact of Desdemona’s sexual interaction with the Moor is shameful not only towards her herself, but specifically towards his father, who must have not raised her in the right way. He also pays attention to the difference of age between the two - Desdemona seems to be much younger than her lover, which is also not something to be proud of. As Desdemona represents a woman from the upper class, she should also choose someone at least equal to her rank for her husband not to disrespect hers and her family’s position. During the fight between Iago, Roderigo and Brabantio (though Iago speaks to Brabantio as Roderigo), the father of Desdemona accuses the men of being thieves. While responding to this accusation, Iago still tries (and succeeds) to play with Brabantio’s imagination by saying

“ [...] Because we come to

do you service, and you think we are ruffians, you’ll

have your daughter covered with ​a Barbary horse​;

you’ll have your nephews neigh to you, you’ll have

courses for cousins and jennets for germans!” (1.1.109-112)

and

“I am one, sir, that comes to tell you ​your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs​.” (1.1.114-115)

Saying all that, Iago successfully upsets Brabantio by bringing his attention to the marriage of his beloveddaughter with the Moor in a very unpleasant way.

Desdemona’s and Othello’s sex life; the symbol of their bridal bed

Another thing concerning the topic of sex that is worth noticing is the amount of trails Othello and Desdemona had to get intimate. Firstly, they had to call off their wedding-night in Venice as Othello was ordered to go to Cyprus:

“ Senator

​ You must away tonight. ​

Desdemona

​ Tonight, my lord? ​

Duke​

This night.

​Othello

W​ith all my heart.” (1.3.275-279)

Secondly, due to the brawl between Cassio and Roderigo resulting from Iago’s manipulation, they were interrupted again, only in Cyprus. Othello was mad not only because of the fact of their fight, but also because his alone time with his lover was interrupted.

“Look if my gentle love be not raised up! I’ll make thee an example.” (2.3.246-247)

Such interruptions build the tension between Othello and Desdemona and only add to Othello’s madness developing after he believes that his wife is indeed cheating on him, as he cannot seem to get ahold of her, while he thinks that Cassio does.

Another thing worth mentioning is the bed, which Iago brings a couple of times during the play. It not only reminds the reader or viewer about the off-stage bridal bed, but is also a some kind of a connection between the final scene, during which Desdemona is killed by her beloved husband.

“Well: happiness to their sheets” (2.3.26)

This quotation is especially ironic, as right before her death Desdemona asked Emilia to change the sheets into their wedding ones as a sign of preparing for the big night with her love. This means that these mentioned by Iago bridal bed and sheets may signalize to the reader further course of the plot and highlight the huge juxtaposition: the bed and the sheets that were supposed to bring the couple happiness evolved into a symbol of their tragedy. In fact, the bridal bed is the place on which almost every dead body in this play lands in the end, what portrays the extreme changes that took place in a very short notice.

“I do not know, friends all, but now, even now,

In quarter and in terms like bride and groom

Divesting them for bed [...]” (2.3.175-177)

Is Iago gay?

There have been many discussions about Iago’s sexuality - some say that Iago is in fact homosexual and he wants to destroy Othello and his relationship with Desdemona out of jealousy caused by his unfulfilled love. However, such interpretation of Iago’s character is often made because people feel the need to justify such horrible actions as those presented by Iago. The truth is that this villain is an embodiment of evil, a character taking pleasure from causing chaos, trouble, and pain, as he not once shows any sign of regret, empathy, repentance or change. Humans always seem to seek for motive and need one - in case of Iago, he does not need motive, or more specifically, he’s only motive is to cause harm and enjoy its consequences. Therefore, the theory of Iago’s homosexuality is an overinterpretation that should not be taken under consideration while analyzing Shakespeare’s play.

The theme of womanhood in context of sexuality

The three women characters that are included in the play are supposed to represent women of different class and social status.

Desdemona is representing the highest social status and poses as a female role model, being referred to as a virtuous and loyal wife by several characters during the first few scenes of the play. She’s obedient and kind; even though Brabantio directly expresses his disappointment regarding Desdemona’s choice of husband, she remains respectful and thoughtful enough to not try to bother his father:

“​Nor I; I would not there reside,

To put my father in impatient thoughts

By being in his eye​.

Most gracious Duke,

To my unfolding lend your prosperous ear

And let me find a charter in your voice,

T' assist my simpleness.” (2.3.239-244)

Desdemona throws away her life in order to be with Othello and until the very end of her life, she remains obedient and in love.

Bianca is Desdemona’s polar opposite. She is Cassio’s lover and a mistress, thus being strongly linked with the theme of sexuality that appears throughout the play.

Despite her profession, Bianca seems to be very emotional about Cassio’s affection, frustrated at the way he disregards their relationship. Her jealousy of Cassio mirrors Othello’s jealousy of Desdemona. The character of a courtesan seems to serve as a way to emphasize Desdemona’s desirable traits of faithfulness and loyalty, and yet Othello is still incapable of telling the difference between the two types of women that Desdemona and Bianca represent.

A lot about how Bianca is presented and perceived by the male characters of the play can be seen in the way she is addressed or described by Cassio:

“​Go to, woman!

Throw your vile guesses in the devil's teeth,

From whence you have them. ​

You are jealous now

That this is from some mistress, some remembrance:

No, in good troth, Bianca​.” (3.4.179-183)

“​I marry her! what? a customer!​ Prithee, bear some charity to my wit: do not think it so unwholesome. Ha, ha, ha!​” (4.1.120-123)

Iago addresses Cassio’s problematic approach towards his lover as well:

“Now will I question Cassio of Bianca,

A housewife that by selling her desires

Buys herself bread and clothes: it is a creature

That dotes on Cassio; as 'tis the strumpet's plague

To beguile many and be beguiled by one:

He, when he hears of her, cannot refrain

From the excess of laughter​.”

What is also very interesting is that not only does Cassio speak of Bianca in a pitiful and disrespectful manner, but he also seems deeply fascinated by Desdemona’s presence.

“​Iago​ ​

Not this hour, lieutenant; 'tis not yet ten o' the clock. Our general cast us thus early for the love of his Desdemona; who let us not therefore blame: he hath not yet made wanton the night with her; and she is sport for Jove.

Cassio​

She's a most exquisite lady.

Iago​ ​

And, I'll warrant her, fun of game.

Cassio​

Indeed, she's a most fresh and delicate creature.​” (2.3.13-20)

“​An inviting eye​; and yet methinks right modest.” (2.3.23)

Referring to Desdemona in such a way and constantly emphasizing how perfect and exquisite she is, Cassio creates even a more vivid contrast between her and Bianca. It is worth noticing that while it is most often the women who are accused of disloyalty, it is the male characters, including Cassio, who continuously make suggestive remarks towards or about the three women.

The third female character is Emilia, who seems to connect numerous traits of both Desdemona and Bianca. She’s a working-class woman and Iago’s husband. She’s obedient and loyal towards her loved one, but at the same time stresses that any woman would cheat on her husband given the right circumstances.

It is interesting that all three of the female characters are accused of infidelity at some point of the play. The entire theme of womanhood is essentially defined by and built upon the virtues and sexuality of the male characters. Each of the female characters represents a woman of different class and status, however,

it is strongly suggested that all of these three women are fulfilling different kinds of men’s fantasies. Iago seems to be the only one to see that since the very beginning, as he is the one to tell Othello how hard it is to distinguish between a truly virtuous woman and one who plays the role she is expected to in a convincing way. The reliance of the representation womanhood on male characters’ vices and virtues directly relates to the important theme of gender that Shakespeare’s ​Othello​ touches upon.

Conclusion

The theme of sexuality and deriving from that topic of womanhood is strongly paid attention to in Shakespeare’s ​Othello.​ It is brought up in many situations in both literal and metaphorical ways. It is important that the author touches upon such a topic, as it is a big part of one's psyche and relationships, especially romantic ones. As the whole plot revolves around Desdemona’s alleged sexual betrayal of Othello, it is specifically crucial to focus more on the psychology of sex, which Shakespeare did very well.

[wetalkinboutbooks]

The Bird King by G. Willow Wilson

Summary

The Bird King is a 2019 fantasy novel set in 1491, the novel takes place in the Emirate of Granada during the territory’s final days. The story concerns the flight of Fatima and Hassan, a concubine and mapmaker, respectively, from service to the Emirate’s last sultan. (Taken from Wikipedia)

We follow Fatima and Hassan on their search for the Bird King as they avoid soldiers of the Spanish inquisition, and meet a variety of characters along the way.

Our Ratings: 

 → Geena: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Overall: The Bird King is an amazing book that manages to be complex yet light-hearted. It touches on subjects like faith, love, and friendship. The characters are engaging (and absolute drama queens) and the plot is fast-paced so there’s never a dull moment. The dynamic between the characters leads to the funniest situations that will have you dying. In summary, reasons to read this book if you haven’t already:

A- ONE SUPER FUNNY BOOK PLZ READ IT

B - THE DRAMAAA OF FATIMA AND HASAAN

C - Vikram 

D - Stupid

~ Spoiler-full discussion below ~

The Good: 

→ Hassan and Fatima’s Relationship

Geena: The best thing about the bird king (aside from the horse named Stupid) was Hassan and Fatima’s friendship. IMO it was so wholesome and they were so in love (PLATONICALLY!!!!). When Hassan said seeing Fatima walking around was like seeing his heart outside his body…… a BITCH DIED!!! Also, the fact they would take shots at each other constantly? Loved it. HOW COULD I FORGET… HASSAN CONSTANTLY BEING HORNY AND FATIMA BEING LIKE “CAN U CHILL!”  

Kae: OKAY MOOD LMAOOO. So boom. Geena covered it. We love this book! Hassan and Fatima are the definition of the 💯 emoji. But these bestie-bitches are DRAMATIC af. I’ve never seen two best friends who love each other as much as they do. They’re hugging and crying one moment, then the next they’re jealous that one of them is talking to someone else. DRAMATIC. I love it. Have we talked about Gwenny and Stupid yet?  

Geena: WE HAVEN’T TALKED ABOUT THEM, the perfect accessories to the Hassan-Fatima duo. Gwen is the token white boi, there for Hassan to thirst over and Fatima to learn how to sail a ship. Stupid on the other hand…. God bless that horse all it did was drown and then LIVE!!!! The absolute legend.  BUT Kae HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE GWEN AND STUPID? HMMM

Gwen: I only love God

Also Gwen: *sleeps with Fatima on the deck of the ship while Hassan is 3 feet away* 

Kae: Well... Gwennec. Ol’ Gwenny Gwen Gwen. Gwen, the Monk who FUCKS. PAHAAHA. Gwen was a new Monk who was at first, totally against helping our favorite bestie-bitches. But Fatima was all “Don’t test me white boi I will kick ya ass.” And Gwen lowkey thought it was hot so he let them slide. He taught Fatima and Hassan how to sail while Hassan made googly eyes at him and definitely wanted to tap that. But, as previously stated, Fatima and Gwen got it ooonnn.  Hassan found out and as like “Fa, I can’t believe you slept with my husband who doesn’t know we’re married yet!”,  and that was basically that.. Then we have Stupid. The horse who was just as damn stupid as his name. The horse lived to spite the Grim Reaper just to prove it would breathe another day. We also haven’t mentioned our Jinn friend and their literal lifesaver/guardian angel, Vikram.  

Geena: VIKRAM, aka another dude/djinn/dog man that Hassan wanted to fuck but couldn’t :( Vikram was essentially the only one in the group that had a substantial amount of brain cells, and spent most of the time trying to make sure Fatima didn’t accidentally kill herself. The fact that he saw his death and it was in the arms of a “beautiful woman” should sum up his character really well. 

Kae: Geena is sooo right. Vikram was the only one with brain cells because Fatima and Hassan both shared two. Our loveable, dramatic, but also a little dimwitted faves wouldn’t have survived any of their adventure without Vikram. He lead them through a Jinn filled tunnel that Hassan made. Escorted them across the land with the Inquisition right on their asses, and fought off whoever tried to hurt them. Initially, he agreed to save them because of a debt he owed to Fatima’s Sultana. But in the end, Vikram helped them because he wanted to. He was a weirddog/man/Jinn who just wanted Fatima and Hassan to stop being dumbasses for five seconds. But they couldn’t so he was constantly annoyed and probs wanted to eat them to shut them up. BUT WE STAN THAT FURRY LEGEND BECAUSE WITHOUT HIM, OUR ESCAPEES WOULD BE DEAD-EEE. Also he was one suave, smooth talking mofo and I feel like if he walked up to you and said “You’re lovely, but you’re an idiot. It’s okay, because you’re pretty tho.” that compliment sandwich would go right over your head and you’d thank him.  

Geena: ok FIRST OFF I would be like “why do you have a tail” but god Kae you hit all the points. 

The Bad AND The Ugly

→ The Sultan and His Mom Being Pedos 

Geena: Ok so, Fatima is 17 and I’m assuming the Sultan was in his mid-thirties, because he has kids Fatima’s age 👀. So I am sure it was historically accurate, the fact that the old ass man had a 17 year old concubine, but that doesn’t make it any less gross!!!! What’s worse is that Fatima’s mom was originally a slave for the sultan, so when she was born the sultan’s mom raised her and had her instated as a concubine when she was 15!!!!!! Scuse me while I 🤮. 

Kae: Yea, Geena said it all. The Sultan was ewww. Fatima was his favorite and I guess he talked to her like she wasn’t a concubine? She was treated very well. For a concubine. Probably better than any concubine I’ve read about Like, she had rights and could talk shit without punishment. But still, DISGUSTEEENNNG. Our girl was groomed so we do NOT stan the Sultan. 

→ Luz

Kae: we also have our main villain, Luz. She arrived at their palace to play peaceful, but she had ulterior motives that involved her spreading the word of the LORDT and taking Hassan in to be tried for Witchcraft and all that magic shit. Because if we didn’t say it before, Hassan can draw anything on a map and make that place a reality. Luz has this little worm in her eye that basically makes her super weirdly strong and badass. But fuck Luz. When Fatima finds out that Hassan is to be tried for witchcraft, she goes to him so they can both escape. Fatima wants to be free and she doesn’t want to see her bestie die. So what do they do? They dip. And now our friends are on the run. 

Geena: UGH Yes, can I just say the moment that Fatima realized that Hassan would get canned she was like “fuck all these people” and peaced out with Hassan? Friendship goals… But yes LUZ!! I enjoyed reading her as a villain because she genuinely thinks she’s a good person and that her life’s mission is to “Save” people like Fatima from people like Hassan. You really end up liking her in the beginning, and then she turns around and murders a few people and you’re like…. Ah…… i see….. aND THEN it turns out she was being controlled by some brainworm that was also trying to get to the Bird King and you kind of wonder…. How much of what Luz did was her being a violent inquisitor and how much was the worm controlling her… you kno? She redeems herself by dying, so I guess she gets…. Like one (1) right. 

Kae: Damn girl! Well said!!! LITCHERALY that is a perfect summary of Luz’s character. I can’t say anything else because it’s been SAID.  Villains are always interesting when they don’t see themselves as the bad guy. They’re righteous and unforgiving because they believe they are doing the right thing. That’s what scary about them. 

Conclusion 

Kae: Okay, so in conclusion. This is an amazing book and in all honesty, I enjoyed the hell out of it. I was never bored reading it. Hassan, Fatima, and Vikram had quite the adventure and all the dramatics of made it that much more enjoyable. They left the palace in hopes of freedom. Hassan and Fatima got the idea of The Bird King from a story they liked to read, but never knew the ending. So they continued the story on their own, making it up along the way. In hopes of escaping their new fate to Luz and the Inquisition, Hassan drew up a map to the Bird King in hopes to find it. Their journey took them to meet Gwennec who sailed them to said island, where they discovered used to be inhabited long, long ago. Soon, others began to show up on the island. Hassan even got him a MANS. A DOCTOR. Whew. He’s got taste. The island is also forever changing and some of the remaining inhabitants are Jinn. 

Geena: Kae summarized the story really well!!! The journey to the end was an absolute trip, but G. Willow Wilson tied up the story neatly. We get to see Fatima become less dependent on Hassan (thanks to his doctor bf who told her to chill out) and Hassan finally find the happiness he deserves. Gwen, unfortunately, doesn’t make it to the end (press F to pay respect). Luz essentially sacrifices herself by taking the map Hassan drew, getting off the island, and ripping it up. Why does she do this? Because to make a place or passage Hassan drew disappear the map has to be ripped. And leaving the map to the island wasn’t an option because the Spanish inquisition never stops!!

Kae: And if they ripped the map on the island, the island would cease to exist! Upon arrival to the island, everyone had their ships wrecked. Luz got fucked up on the shipwreck and that worm thing got ripped out of her eyes and then it became a monster on the island that was NOT to be trifled with. Since Luz got all jacked up, she was gonna die anyway and no one wanted her to stay--

Geena: Everyone said “u cant sit with us” to luz. OKAY DISCUSSING THIS BOOK MADE ME REMEMBER HOW MUCH IT MADE ME LAUGH, GENUINELY ONE OF THE FUNNIEST BOOKS I’VE READ. 10/10 FOR ME!!

Kae: LMAOOO HONESTLY. XPECIALLY FATIMA NEVER HAVING WALKED SO FAR BEFORE AND BEING A BIG OL BABY. but she DIIIID have messed up shoes that blistered so I’ll give her that BUT YES HASSAN WAS A DRAMA QUEEN “waaah, I have red hair and im pale BUT I'M STILL HOT AND I LIKE TO F U C K” But yeah, Luz got voted off the island and voted herself off the island, ripped up the map, and then they were safe and lived happily ever after. Vikram even made his final appearance to say his goodbyes to Fatima, even though he hates goodbyes. I give this book a 10/10. It was funny, the characters were likeable and relatable, and it was just a good adventure read.

[theperfectstormrp]

“I’ve always liked boxing, there’s nothing like a punch in the face to remind you that you don’t want to die.”

Marlene McKinnon

Age: Nineteen

Affiliation: Order Member

Blood Status: Pureblood

Career: Hit Witch

RUMOR HAS IT... Marlene McKinnion wasn’t the smartest girl in the Slytherin House. She was too busy pandering to the Marauders to focus on her classes. A pariah in the household, she was kicked to the dredges and shunned from society. We can’t help but wonder if it’s all a guise for the Death Eaters.

The union between the McKinnon’s oldest son and the Parkinson’s oldest daughter was forged long before the two could even understand. Thus the birth of their son and daughter was all but written in the stars before they’d even married. It was the duty after all to produce heirs. The two parents were bonded in a way that only betrothed couples could understand, both bringing an equal amount of respect for each other that did eventually grow to a mutual liking, perhaps even a sprinkle of love in the right light. The birth of the children would only cause this to grow, for both knew without question what they expected from their offspring. Their son would be the perfect soldier for the Death Eaters, taking Orders and bringing honor to the family on behalf of the Dark Lord. It would be Marlene who’d marry another pureblood and produce them an heir, bonding the McKinnon's to another family — she’d follow the instructions laid forth by her parents and then the ones given by her husband. Or so that was to be the life that she lived, the plan laid out I front of her since birth. Marlene was a complacent child who observed, listening and watching. No one could see the doubt that laid under her skin about the things her parents said. A small spark that would only grow to a blaze when Hogwarts and the people onside began stoking it.

Sorted into Slytherin as both her parents and brother before her, she did possess the qualities that the house was made up of. Resourceful to no end to get what she wished, ambitious to meet the goals that danced in her own head but perhaps most of all she was cunning, far too cunning for her own good. While the people dressed in green and silver around her were discussing the blood traitors or muggle-borns in other houses it was Marlene who surrounded herself with them. Finding friends where she likely shouldn’t if she knew what was good for but yet the values and stance that people outside of her home had was more along the lines of what her inner voice said. They did deserve their magic, they did deserve to be here the same as she and it was because of this she found herself a pariah in her own Hogwarts house and inside her own home. Word would come to her parent's ears of the company that their daughter kept and each time they’d question her motives and threaten her livelihood, claiming that once her school days were over she’d never see those people again. Marlene wanted to shout to the skies of how those people her parents hated so much were the only people who truly understood her.

It was at Hogwarts and with her friends that Marlene was most safe, causing her to choose to stay back at the break times and summer soon became the only time she went back to the McKinnon manor. She hadn’t a choice of staying at Hogwarts then. The summer before her seventh year she was informed of the plan that laid before her, the future she was to gracefully walk into but she wouldn’t have any of it. Marriage to some half-brained fool who only wanted to take the Dark Mark wasn’t something she was going to have a part of and for the first time she voiced to her parents the desire to join the Hit Witch career program, how she wouldn’t go blindly into whatever they wanted. Marlene was promptly cut off from the family and any the fortune that was to their name, sent back to Hogwarts with the clothes on her back and possessions in her trunk. She would only be allowed to return if she chooses to marry whoever her parents choose or she took the Dark Mark and joined the Dark Lord in his quest. Two things she’d rather die than have come to pass.

Graduation loomed with the darkness that had fallen over the Wizarding world, Voldemort had become more powerful than ever but there was a force that was trying to match the one he had. The Order of the Phoenix, composed of some of the best that Dumbledore had come to trust over the years. It was Dorcas, Lily, and Mary who vouched for Marlene, insisting that she could be trusted despite what house she came from and what name she held. The McKinnon name commanded respect but only in the darkest of ways, something that she’d never have associated with her. She was allowed to join the cause throwing herself into the mission of protecting those that needed them but also into the work at the Hit Witch department at the Ministry. 

Marlene proved quickly that any faith was placed into her was not done so lightly, proving to be a quick study in anything that she needed to do. Her marks had been well enough in school and what she didn’t possess in her knowledge she made up for in sheer determination. While she was talented enough with a wand it was the hand to hand combat that the Hit Witch program that she thrived in, oftentimes forgetting to use her wand all together as though the wooden thing that was supposed to be an extension of herself was sometimes nothing more than a hindrance. The fall of the Ministry had come as a shock and no surprise at all, there had whispers that the Dark Lord was planning something big they should have seen this coming. Now, stuck in the shadows with their fearless leader dead Marlene waits for further instructions hopeful that action will come soon so that they may take back the world they love before it’s destroyed altogether. 

DORCAS MEADOWES, LILY POTTER, MARY MACDONALD – The three girls who took her in and loved her when her own house and her own family couldn’t. It’s because of these three that Marlene knows what true love is, when it comes to the four there is nothing that could break them apart. Or so Marlene hopes.

SYBILL TRELAWNEY – Sybill was an oddball, perhaps even more so than the blood traitor in Slytherin. It’s why the friendship forged between the two girls just worked, destined to be friends, it’s the similarities between them that keeps them together. 

ANTONIN DOLOHOV – Marlene had needed the extra attention in the Dark Arts, her parents were determined the lessons at Hogwarts just weren’t cutting it--enter Antonin. He did his best, taking her under his wing outside of the school to help her learn the spells that would truly come in handy and despite her reservations knowing that the spells she was being taught were the Unforgivable Curses Marlene continued anyway. It wasn’t until later that she’d come to realize he was only doing so in hopes of grooming her for the Death Eaters.

OTHER CONNECTIONS –  BIOS MARLENE MCKINNON IS MENTIONED IN.

Marlene McKinnon is currently a TAKEN character with a FC of Emeraude Toubia.

[nightibowl]

The theme of sexuality in William Shakespeare’s “Othello”

Introduction

Over the course of Shakespeare’s artwork progress and evolution, his readers can observe his significantly increasing interest in the psychology of sex. Othello is his most widely exploring this topic piece, as the author investigates many varieties of sexuality concerning not only people of the same race and class, but also the ones having different ethnic origins and social statuses. General controversy spread around a black man being the eponymous character inspired Shakespeare to also present stereotypes of interracial sex that affect both family’s of the white, pure girl and the couple itself. Such stereotypes are mostly introduced by the main villain, Iago, who is most frequently using animal imagery to describe them as well as Othello’s and Desdemona’s intimate moments. His language only adds spiciness to the scenes concerning the characters he is speaking about and tension in the reader, as such imagery really evokes one’s imagination and in this case, often disgust.

Imagery used to refer to Othello and his intimate life with Desdemona (and the reaction of Desdemona’s father)

The first scene in which Iago comments on Othello’s and Desdemona’s sex life is when he wants to cause chaos and conflict between Brabantio, Desdemona’s father, and the couple. In order to do that, he puts an image of the dirty, old man shamingly interacting with his pure, young daughter and highlights the possibility of Desdemona getting pregnant with the child of the devil (such metaphor derives from Othello’s dark skin color).

“Zounds, sir, you’re robbed, for shame put on your gown!

Your heart is burst, you have lost half your soul,

Even now, now, very now, an old black ram

Is tupping your white ewe! Arise, arise,

Awake the snorting citizens with the bell

Or else the devil will make a grandsire of you,

Arise I say!” (1.1.84-91)

Iago suggests that the fact of Desdemona’s sexual interaction with the Moor is shameful not only towards her herself, but specifically towards his father, who must have not raised her in the right way. He also pays attention to the difference of age between the two - Desdemona seems to be much younger than her lover, which is also not something to be proud of. As Desdemona represents a woman from the upper class, she should also choose someone at least equal to her rank for her husband not to disrespect hers and her family’s position. During the fight between Iago, Roderigo and Brabantio (though Iago speaks to Brabantio as Roderigo), the father of Desdemona accuses the men of being thieves. While responding to this accusation, Iago still tries (and succeeds) to play with Brabantio’s imagination by saying

“ [...] Because we come to

do you service, and you think we are ruffians, you’ll 

have your daughter covered with a Barbary horse; 

you’ll have your nephews neigh to you, you’ll have

courses for cousins and jennets for germans!” (1.1.109-112)

and

“I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.” (1.1.114-115)

Saying all that, Iago successfully upsets Brabantio by bringing his attention to the marriage of his beloved daughter with the Moor in a very unpleasant way.

Desdemona’s and Othello’s sex life; the symbol of their bridal bed

Another thing concerning the topic of sex that is worth noticing is the amount of trails Othello and Desdemona had to get intimate. Firstly, they had to call off their wedding-night in Venice as Othello was ordered to go to Cyprus:

“  1 Senator You must away tonight.

   Desdemona Tonight, my lord?

   Duke  This night.

  Othello With all my heart.” (1.3.275-279)

Secondly, due to the brawl between Cassio and Roderigo resulting from Iago’s manipulation, they were interrupted again, only in Cyprus. Othello was mad not only because of the fact of their fight, but also because his alone time with his lover was interrupted.

“Look if my gentle love be not raised up!

 I’ll make thee an example.” (2.3.246-247)

Such interruptions build the tension between Othello and Desdemona and only add to Othello’s madness developing after he believes that his wife is indeed cheating on him, as he cannot seem to get ahold of her, while he thinks that Cassio does. 

Another thing worth mentioning is the bed, which Iago brings a couple of times during the play. It not only reminds the reader or viewer about the off-stage bridal bed, but is also a some kind of a connection between the final scene, during which Desdemona is killed by her beloved husband.

“Well: happiness to their sheets” (2.3.26)

This quotation is especially ironic, as right before her death Desdemona asked Emilia to change the sheets into their wedding ones as a sign of preparing for the big night with her love. This means that these mentioned by Iago bridal bed and sheets may signalize to the reader further course of the plot and highlight the huge juxtaposition: the bed and the sheets that were supposed to bring the couple happiness evolved into a symbol of their tragedy. In fact, the bridal bed is the place on which almost every dead body in this play lands in the end, what portrays the extreme changes that took place in a very short notice.

“I do not know, friends all, but now, even now,

 In quarter and in terms like bride and groom 

 Divesting them for bed [...]” (2.3.175-177)

Is Iago gay?

There have been many discussions about Iago’s sexuality - some say that Iago is in fact homosexual and he wants to destroy Othello and his relationship with Desdemona out of jealousy caused by his unfulfilled love. However, such interpretation of Iago’s character is often made because people feel the need to justify such horrible actions as those presented by Iago. The truth is that this villain is an embodiment of evil, a character taking pleasure from causing chaos, trouble, and pain, as he not once shows any sign of regret, empathy, repentance or change. Humans always seem to seek for motive and need one - in case of Iago, he does not need motive, or more specifically, he’s only motive is to cause harm and enjoy its consequences. Therefore, the theory of Iago’s homosexuality is an over-interpretation that should not be taken under consideration while analyzing Shakespeare’s play.

The theme of womanhood in context of sexuality

The three women characters that are included in the play are supposed to represent women of different class and social status.

Desdemona is representing the highest social status and poses as a female role model, being referred to as a virtuous and loyal wife by several characters during the first few scenes of the play. She’s obedient and kind; even though Brabantio directly expresses his disappointment regarding Desdemona’s choice of husband, she remains respectful and thoughtful enough to not try to bother his father:

“Nor I; I would not there reside,

To put my father in impatient thoughts

By being in his eye. Most gracious Duke,

To my unfolding lend your prosperous ear

And let me find a charter in your voice,

T' assist my simpleness.” (2.3.239-244)

Desdemona throws away her life in order to be with Othello and until the very end of her life, she remains obedient and in love. 

Bianca is Desdemona’s polar opposite. She is Cassio’s lover and a mistress, thus being strongly linked with the theme of sexuality that appears throughout the play.

Despite her profession, Bianca seems to be very emotional about Cassio’s affection, frustrated at the way he disregards their relationship. Her jealousy of Cassio mirrors Othello’s jealousy of Desdemona. The character of a courtesan seems to serve as a way to emphasize Desdemona’s desirable traits of faithfulness and loyalty, and yet Othello is still incapable of telling the difference between the two types of women that Desdemona and Bianca represent. 

A lot about how Bianca is presented and perceived by the male characters of the play can be seen in the way she is addressed or described by Cassio:

“Go to, woman!

Throw your vile guesses in the devil's teeth,

From whence you have them. You are jealous now

That this is from some mistress, some remembrance:

No, in good troth, Bianca.” (3.4.179-183)

“I marry her! what? a customer! Prithee, bear some

charity to my wit: do not think it so unwholesome.

Ha, ha, ha!” (4.1.120-123)

Iago addresses Cassio’s problematic approach towards his lover as well:

“Now will I question Cassio of Bianca,

A housewife that by selling her desires

Buys herself bread and clothes: it is a creature

That dotes on Cassio; as 'tis the strumpet's plague

To beguile many and be beguiled by one:

He, when he hears of her, cannot refrain

From the excess of laughter.”

What is also very interesting is that not only does Cassio speak of Bianca in a pitiful and disrespectful manner, but he also seems deeply fascinated by Desdemona’s presence.

“Iago Not this hour, lieutenant; 'tis not yet ten o' the

clock. Our general cast us thus early for the love

of his Desdemona; who let us not therefore blame:

he hath not yet made wanton the night with her; and

she is sport for Jove.

Cassio She's a most exquisite lady.

Iago And, I'll warrant her, fun of game.

Cassio Indeed, she's a most fresh and delicate creature.” (2.3.13-20)

“An inviting eye; and yet methinks right modest.” (2.3.23)

Referring to Desdemona in such a way and constantly emphasizing how perfect and exquisite she is, Cassio creates even a more vivid contrast between her and Bianca. It is worth noticing that while it is most often the women who are accused of disloyalty, it is the male characters, including Cassio, who continuously make suggestive remarks towards or about the three women.

The third female character is Emilia, who seems to connect numerous traits of both Desdemona and Bianca. She’s a working-class woman and Iago’s husband. She’s obedient and loyal towards her loved one, but at the same time stresses that any woman would cheat on her husband given the right circumstances.

It is interesting that all three of the female characters are accused of infidelity at some point of the play. The entire theme of womanhood is essentially defined by and built upon the virtues and sexuality of the male characters. Each of the female characters represents a woman of different class and status, however, it is strongly suggested that all of these three women are fulfilling different kinds of men’s fantasies. Iago seems to be the only one to see that since the very beginning, as he is the one to tell Othello how hard it is to distinguish between a truly virtuous woman and one who plays the role she is expected to in a convincing way. The reliance of the representation womanhood on male characters’ vices and virtues directly relates to the important theme of gender that Shakespeare’s Othello touches upon.

Conclusion

The theme of sexuality and deriving from that topic of womanhood is strongly paid attention to in Shakespeare’s Othello. It is brought up in many situations in both literal and metaphorical ways. It is important that the author touches upon such a topic, as it is a big part of one's psyche and relationships, especially romantic ones. As the whole plot revolves around Desdemona’s alleged sexual betrayal of Othello, it is specifically crucial to focus more on the psychology of sex, which Shakespeare did very well.

[bbq-hawks-wings]

Hello friend! I just went to a wedding and it was incredibly beautiful! So I was wondering if you could make a scenario of hawks getting married to his female s/o? This was my first time sending a request so I hope I did it correctly! Thank you and have a nice day! :)

This man makes me w e a k, and don’t worry anon, you nailed it.

I’ve always wanted to plan a wedding and see it play out. Maybe someday I will for real. Done, anon. (P.S. If you want an idea of where I got the color pallet in this chapter, may I draw your attention to my favorite ring in the world.)

The day he had asked you to marry him and you said yes was the happiest day of his life. He had spent time getting to know you, opening up and being truly vulnerable for the very first time, and you had never done anything but give and give and love him. He would rope the stars and the moon if you asked him, and he wanted so badly to declare his love for you to the world. However, your relationship had remained quiet and out of the spotlight. Especially since you were actively avoiding the attention he had taken measures to keep your meetings clandestine, to keep your name and face out of the public eye. A watchful fan might be able to sense something amiss (he couldn’t escape the spotlight forever), but they never had enough to do anything but throw out mere theories.

He wanted to give you the biggest fairy tale wedding money could buy, and he wanted to invite the entire country, if not the world to watch; but he understood your reservations about it. For your safety, privacy, and peace of mind a small wedding was worth the price. As well for him, the fact that you knew he would hand you a blank check for whatever you wanted but you still tried to keep spending down because you didn’t want to treat him like an ATM made him fall even deeper in love with you whenever the subject came up. 

He agreed to whatever venue and theme you wanted on two conditions: one, let him order some custom wedding ring designs because he wouldn’t have his one of a kind girl wearing a piece that hundreds, maybe thousands, of other women were also wearing; and two, spare no expense with the dress! He knew that a wedding was mostly for the bride at the end of the day; and he wanted to let you feel like a princes- no, a QUEEN on your wedding day without worrying about the price tag. He told you that come what may, when it came to looking back the photos of him fawning over you in that dress would be able to give you happy memories whenever you needed them, and anytime the everyday stresses of the world dragged you down he wanted you to be able to look at that ring and let it remind you that you were like no one else in the world to him just like that little piece of jewelry.

The venue was small and private. Only both your immediate family and close friends - heroes, high school, or otherwise- were invited. Just trusted people who had known you were together to begin with. He didn’t bother to mention the event to his sponsors. He wanted them and their world as far separated from you and your new lives together as possible. They didn’t care anyway.

It was a small, chapel-like building. A few rows of pews on either side flanked the aisle which was laden with a soft, white carpet and red trim. White chiffon hung up on the walls and lined the inside of the pews with small bouquets of red roses, ferns, baby’s breath and tiny sprigs of acacia blossoms. It was dark outside, and the light in the hall danced and sparkled from the crystal chandeliers which allowed the stained glass windows to display their full range of color without distracting and taking from the scene inside. That alone was picture perfect as Hawks waited at the end of the aisle, proud of your planning but increasingly nervous for the upcoming ceremony.

You’d caught that he was self conscious about the color of his wings in your wedding photos - lamenting that they might distract others from how beautiful you were in that white dress. Red was a far more dominant color, he explained. White disappeared and took a seat next to it unless it was an accent color, and his wings were just too big to pass off as some kind of “fashion statement.” He even complained that even if they were white it would be more attention on him than he wanted. But you were clever - or at least you had clever hero support friends with a knack for design!

You had called on their expertise to tie in the concept of white and red mixing together and complimenting each other instead of fighting for dominance. They came up with a fantastic solution of tying in two other main colors - stunning pink gold and humble burnt umber - as intermediate accents and trim. His tuxedo consisted of a white jacket and trousers, red cummerbund and tie, with pink gold and satin brown trim lining the lapels, pleats on his shirt, and shiny gold buttons and wrist cuffs with modest brown shoes. Though he didn’t usually appreciate formal wear he felt really good when he put it on, feeling like his wings actually fit the design instead of distracting from it. He was just anxious to see if this was how you dressed him, what did YOU look like? Luckily after the hours of nervous pacing, anticipation, and anxious bouncing on his toes for the ceremony to start he would see.

The music played and all the guests rose as the doors at the front of the aisle gently parted for you to make your way down. The sight of you in that dress was beyond magnificent and took his breath away. 

You had taken him seriously when he asked you to go all out. The flowing white skirt of the ball gown possessed a gorgeously understated gold lace layer over it and fell around you gloriously, demanding room and reverence around you though your gait denoted a calm spirit unburdened by the gaze of others. The white bodice pulled in at your waist and gently flared out to a Bataeu neckline that was a perfect balance of alluring and elegant - the shoulders of which were red chiffon blending in perfectly with the red bead work on the bodice fading down to white, and in the center of the neckline sat a simple round brooch with a brown gem centerpiece, small white jewels around the edges in a rose gold setting. You wore a choker of gold with red and white rhinestones that draped across your otherwise bare shoulders and dipped down in an arch delicately. Your chapel length veil possessed gold and satin brown trim around the edges to mirror the ensemble of your groom, though the smallest of red and pink rhinestones hidden in the lace would sparkle and reflect an extra splash of color. It wasn’t immediately obvious from the front, but as you walked up the steps to stand next to your husband-to-be a bright streak of red ran from where there were the gaps in the shoulder straps on your back (a subtle set of wings as a nod to his nickname, “Angel,” for you Hawks would come to learn later), together into the waist of the bodice, and then in one demanding band of satin red in a dramatic flair all the way down the monarch train of your skirt where it bled off into the red, pink gold, and satin brown lining for the lace layer that would sweep up into the two side panels that met again in the front at the bodice, allowing the gold pattern to end spectacularly around you and leave the panel of pure white unblemished in front of you, tying back into the solid white part of the bodice.

He couldn’t tell by virtue of being absolutely star struck in the moment, but he very well almost cried at the sight of you. Like everything else, you blew his expectations out of the water. Whatever he gave you or asked of you you always managed to return to him two, five, or tenfold times beyond his wildest dreams. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you as you approached, sure that he was either going to wake from a dream or just drop dead from the overwhelming weight in his heart. He noticeably jumped when the minister spoke up at the end of the music. If not for the rehearsal the night before, he would have forgotten to turn shoulder to shoulder to you, though he wished mightily he could just stare into your eyes for the rest of eternity.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…” and the rest was lost on Hawks’ ears as he desperately tried to continue looking at you through the corner of his eye, which only made you blush and smile when you noticed. How the hell did you just manage to be even more beautiful than what he witnessed just now?! The ceremony continued on for both far too long and not long enough when he was finally broken out of his trance.

“(Y/N), will you have this man to be your husband; to live together with him in the covenant of marriage? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful unto him as long as you both shall live?”

“I will.” Your words were clear and even, though the way you blushed under your eyelashes as you looked to him betrayed the way your heart was racing.

The minister then addressed Hawks, “And will you have this woman to be your wife; to live together with her in the covenant of marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful unto her as long as you both shall live?”

“I wi-Ihl-”  His voiced unintentionally cracked around the lump in his throat, and you could both hear a chuckle from the pews behind you. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I will.”

“With that, we would have the bride and groom exchange wedding vows and rings. May the ring bearer please come forth.”

Tokoyami had been incredibly surprised when Hawks had not only invited him to the wedding, but asked him to be the ring-bearer. The experience he had gained during his internship he had considered generous enough, but to think Hawks could have taken enough of a liking to him for this honor was beyond him. Reverently approaching from his place to stand next to the both of you, he offered your ring to Hawks with respect and Dark Shadow offered his to you with excitement before they both returned to their spot.

“Sir, please take (Y/N)’s left hand and repeat after me.

“In the sight of all these witnesses, I, (state your name), take you, (Y/N), to be my wife,”

He repeated in kind back and forth until they reached the end.

“...to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.”

He looked down as he readied the ring he had spent so long designing onto your ring finger as he continued. “I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you.” With that, he slowly slipped on the ring and allowed you to admire it - this being your first time ever seeing it. The band was made of small silver feathers that swirled together into a spun gold nest-like setting with a magnificent round fire opal as the centerpiece flanked by small white diamonds and a few, tiny, inconspicuous silver feathers tucked into the gold strands of the nest.

The minister then turned to you and asked you to repeat the same vows before you readied Hawk’s ring as well and placed it on his finger when you had finished, “I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you.” It was a wide, masculine band, but in it were many gold feathers stemming from the shaft of a silver arrow that wrapped around his finger - the feathers meant to symbolize all that he had to give you; and the arrow his vow to protect you, his desire to provide for you like a feather carries an arrow to its target, as well as a personal point on the compass to point him home to you.

The minister gave one last address to the congregation gathered as you held hands and gazed into each others’ eyes, excited for the part to come next. “Now that these two have given themselves to each other by solemn vows, with the joining of hands and the giving and receiving of rings, I pronounce that they are husband and wife.

“You may kiss the bride.”

A thousand thoughts raced through his head as his hands gently, slowly moved to raise the veil from your face. This was it! In everyone’s eyes you were his missus, his wife, maybe the only thing in the world that was truly his. Your relationship had not been an easy one to establish by any means. There were tears and heartache and pain; and there were times he was sure that there was nothing he could do for you but to let you go; but even in the worst of circumstances you had returned to him time and time again and done nothing but hold him and love him. Everything in his world could crumble out from beneath him, but he would be able to fall safely into your arms - and really, wasn’t that what it meant to truly have everything?

He had genuinely meant to make the kiss short and sweet, but like many other things in his life his thoughts spun in his head too fast for his own good; and in the first split second he went from a gentle, chaste kiss with your face in his hands as the crowd applauded to pulling you close by the waist in a deep, passionate embrace to the sound a few whoops and jeers.

“Save it for the honeymoon, love birds!”

The comment made both of you blush as you pulled away from each other, but at this point, he didn’t really care any more. There was no more doubt, no more uncertainty, no more gaps between you. This was the first day of the rest of your lives together. He had you now, and he was never letting go. He lifted you up into the air and spun you around without regard, nearly knocking over the rest of the wedding party in the process.

This was truly the happiest day of his life!

[fandomn00blr]

Dread Moon, Chapter 13 Excerpt

[Context: Post-Inquisition, Pre-Trespasser...Dorian has been ‘rescued’ and is headed back to Skyhold with his Inquisition fam. Anders is struggling to find his place in Kirkwall again, and without Justice. Hawke tries to big sister him to repair their friendship. It starts to work...sorta.]

[Oh shit! Also...have I mentioned how important Orana’s cinnamon buns are to keeping all of Hawke’s friends from killing each other?]

...

A hungover Evelyn was not happy that she had to practically drag Dorian and Cullen aboard the ship Harding had chartered for them the next morning. Bull, and even Alarion, who was technically their prisoner, though it was easy to forget that he would be taken directly to the dungeons as soon as they arrived at Skyhold, came along much more willingly. Aveline as Guard-Captain, and Varric as the official Inquisition ambassador in Kirkwall were there to see them off, and Merrill had accompanied them, having woken up as bright and chipper as ever before sunrise. Hawke and the others opted to sleep in and enjoy the comforts of the Hawke estate, which most of them had been missing for the past few weeks, months, and even years, in Anders’ case.

Just like old times, Orana had cinnamon buns baking and coffee brewing by the time Hawke even realized she’d missed her chance to say goodbye.

She rolled over, from dead asleep to wide awake in an instant. “Fenris!” The mid-morning sun was already streaming in through the curtains. “How could you let me sleep in and miss sending Trevelyn and Cully-Wully off?”

Fenris had already gone for a morning run, done his meditations, bathed, dressed, and was reading on the chaise across the room while enjoying a bowl of strawberries with his cinnamon bun and a cup of hot water and lemon, all parts of his routine that he had been missing dearly for quite some time.

“It’s not really a matter of ‘letting’ you…” he murmured, not looking up from his book.

“Is everyone else gone, too?”

“Isabela just woke up. She’s downstairs with Anders and Orana in the kitchen trying to convince someone to make her an omelette. Your sister said she had to go meet another potential donor for the College. And Merrill went with Varric and Aveline.”

“Why?”

Fenris shrugged, finally looking up at her. “Perhaps she was just being nice?”

“Weird.” She eyed his plate. “Are there anymore cinnamon buns?”

Fenris smiled and shook his head, returning his attention to the book. “I’m sure Orana saved you one.”

Hawke spent the rest of the morning nursing her hangover, gossiping with Isabela and Varric when he returned from the Docks, helping Merrill move more of her stuff into the estate, and insisting on buying Anders a new robe and a trip to the barber.

“You can keep the beard, Anders! But it’s in desperate need of some tidying up. Hobo apostate chic is so...not a thing anymore. And your hair could use a trim, too. The messy man bun still works for you, I think, but the dead ends...you’ve just taken the look way too far.”

“Even I get my glorious chest hair groomed…” Varric bragged, puffing his chest out even more than usual.

Merrill’s eyes lit up. “Really?!”

“Next time, Daisy...I’ll let you tag along to my appointment.”

“Oh! How fun!”

“I just don’t think I need --” Anders began to protest again.

Isabela eyed him knowingly. “No harm in cleaning yourself up! You know...in case you run into anyone cute…”

Anders shot her a quick glare and then turned back to Hawke. “Fine,” he sighed in defeat.

...

An afternoon shopping with and cleaning Anders up turned out to be quite exhausting for both of them, and they headed back to the Hawke estate tired, hungry, and irritable, but not entirely unsuccessful.

“It looks good, you know…” Hawke grumbled, trying not to look like she was admiring him too much. No one could ever call Anders ‘ugly,’ but new clothes and a bit of grooming had certainly reminded her how attractive he was. “I think eating food the past few days has helped a lot, too,” she added, just to annoy him.

“Thanks,” he grunted begrudgingly. He had thought the barber had done a fine job of accentuating the parts of his face that he didn’t completely hate. And the robe he’d picked, after so much fretting, was a nice teal velvet, free-flowing and comfortable, weighted perfectly for his tall lanky frame, with lots of useful pockets inside for potions and herbs and tools. It had gold accents that brought out the amber of his eyes and the various shades of blonde that actually washing his hair had revealed. Even he had to admit that it was nice to look down and appreciate what he was wearing, and how he looked in a mirror for the first time in...well, since he’d come to Kirkwall, really. Justice hadn’t really had much patience for vanity, after all.

But the two of them actually sharing a moment of gratitude and appreciation was short-lived.

“Anders, get behind me…” Hawke muttered, glaring ahead of them into the lengthening shadows of one of Kirkwall’s many winding alleys.

A large sinister-looking figure stepped out, brandishing a Templar’s sword from under his ill-fitting cloak. Several others, smaller in stature, but no less ill-intended emerged behind him. All of them wore hoods or masks to hide their faces. Hawke grinned. Too afraid to even reveal themselves...this would be easy.

“Our beef isn’t with you, Champion. Best get out of the way,” the big one muttered.

Hawke laughed. “I thought we routed all you inbred mage-haters out of the city years ago! Show your faces, you cowards!”

“We represent Kirkwall. You brought this murderer, this terrorist, back to our city, just as we had begun to rebuild from what he did, and we intend to do what you could not five years ago before he does anymore harm.”

“Kirkwall is BETTER NOW, you idiot! Are you so blinded by your ignorance and hate that you don’t see it?”

“I ask you once more, to please step aside. And let this man answer for his crimes.”

“No.”

“You don’t have to do this...” Anders muttered behind her.

“Oh, shut up. You know I do!” she said through gritted teeth, refusing to take her eyes off of the menacing group forming in front of them.

“Very well, then. Try not to kill the Champion, but if you must...” He motioned toward them with his sword and the rest of the group swarmed out of the alley, swords and knives and bows out in front of them. There were far more of them than Hawke had imagined, but they were clearly not trained or very well-organized, and many of their weapons were makeshift or old family heirlooms, heavy and rusted. Most of them didn’t stand a chance. Anders noticed several of the hooded figures were small, child-sized, even for dwarves, and he felt his stomach drop.

“Hawke, don’t!” he shouted. “They’re mostly civilians! And children!”

“They want to kill you!” Hawke shouted back, daggers flashing as she unsheathed them, ready to pounce on the first person who dared to attack. “Civilian or not!”

Anders was panicking. He didn’t want this. This is precisely why he’d hidden himself away in a cave for five years. He felt himself reaching for Justice, trying to will him to take over. He didn’t want to be here, he didn’t want to see this, didn’t want to be a witness or to have to decide between his own life and that of someone else, let alone a child, however murderous. Justice could make those hard decisions. Justice could protect him from the guilt. But Justice was gone.

“Faith and Justice send their regards…” a familiar voice murmured. In his head? Mostly...though his shimmering presence was beginning to coalesce nearby. Compassion.

“Cole! Can you help?!”

The figure nodded, and Hawke did a double-take when she finally noticed him.

“Who…?”

“Nevermind! Get out of the way, Hawke!”

She stepped aside as the shimmering spirit-boy-thing walked right into Anders, and a blinding golden light exploded out of him, pushing the angry mob back as they shielded their eyes.

“Abomination!” the leader of the group cried out, his cloak thrown back revealing full Templar armor underneath, though it was ill-fitting and unpolished. “We must kill him before he transforms into a demon!”

But many of the others had begun to back away, lowering their weapons, pulling their friends and family members along with them.

“Your friends are smart.” Hawke grinned at the man, sauntering up to him with a swagger that Anders had always both loved and hated in equal measure. “Show me that Templar sword again, big man.”

He raised his sword in front of himself defensively, but he couldn’t hide his trembling.

“And take off that stupid hood!” Hawke whipped one of her daggers up and knocked his hood back to reveal a plump-faced, orange-haired man with a ruddy complexion. He looked terrified. “Ah, of course! Ser Mettin! Who let you back into the city? I thought we’d made it quite clear you weren’t welcome here after you threatened to...hmmm...what did you say about my sister? ‘Put that little witch in her place’?”

She dragged her dagger across his cheek, tracing the line of a scar that ran from his ear to his nose. “Bethany gave you this with one flick of her wrist, but you deserved worse. My sister really is the kind and benevolent one of the family. She’s busy at the moment, so I’ll go ahead and finish you off for her.”

“This is my city, too! You and your sister and your friends can’t just do as you please!”

“Why not? Meredith and the Templars certainly did for more than a decade…”

“That was different!”

“You’re right. She was cruel and abusive and driven to madness by her greed for power. We’ve just been trying to help this Maker-forsaken city.”

“Hawke, let him go,” Anders said. Cole was back beside him, watching curiously as Hawke pressed her dagger against his other cheek.

“He doesn’t deserve that…” she mused, sliding the dagger down his jaw to his throat. “How many other mages did you ‘put in their place,’ Mettin?”

Suddenly a barrier flashed between Hawke and Mettin, and the man winced, half expecting it to have been some kind of killing spell. “Let him go!”

Hawke turned around, livid with Anders for interfering with her kill, and it gave Mettin just enough time to throw his hood back up over his head and take off in the other direction.

“Go back to the estate!” she shouted angrily, preparing to pursue him.

“It’s not worth it, Hawke,” Anders sighed.

“I know...he’s pathetic, right? Totally out of shape...I bet he dies of a heart attack before I even get to slit his throat.”

Anders looked at her pleadingly, those damn doe eyes of his begging mercy for the man who’d just tried to incite an angry mob against them. She’d always had a weakness for them, and especially now, with his hair pulled back away from his face, and the new robe with its contrasting teal and gold drawing all her attention to them.

“Fuck, Anders! But he’s complete garbage,” she whined.

“So forget him. Let’s just go.”

Hawke stared longingly down the dark alley, then sighed. “Fine…”

...

[jemmaginary-blog1]

Agents of SHIELD Promo Poster

Because I can never just leave things alone, below is my analysis/thoughts of the poster and what I think it could mean. I very well may be wrong as this is Agents of SHIELD and they like to keep us guessing and make us think we know what’s going to happen but I did try. Some of this may be a reaching a bit or wrong and feel free to correct me/tell me what you agree or disagree with! So I apologise if this is a mess as I’m new to all of this and new to Tumblr so the formatting may not be great.

I shortened this down as I didn’t want to annoy people with my six page ramble.

(Also credit/thank you to jemannesimmons for pointing out that Fitz wasn’t grabbing Daisy’s hand as that is what sent me on this mad spiral trying to see what else I missed and what subtle clues were lurking in the poster.)

(Also did a quick speculation of the previous poster down at the bottom as I hadn’t really seen it before!)

(Also my computer isn’t great so I may have missed things to do with the kree writing as it’s currently impossible for me to zoom in on this picture without it becoming impossible to actually look at and see something other than pixels.)

(Alsoooo need to come up with a word other than also wondering if anyone has any breakdowns of previous season cast photos? Joined this Fandom during the break between S5 and S6 and curious as to what predictions people made last year.)

(Yay it’s been confirmed that there ARE easter eggs/clues in this poster so yay for that. Though easter eggs and clues/hints are different.)

The Last Supper

The fact that it's positioned in a similar way to the Last Supper could be accidental but I doubt it as 'faith,' has been a bit of a theme in AoS and so I think with Mack being director and becoming more of a main character it would be interesting to use the Last Supper as a way to hint to what's going to presumably be a season with a lot of focus on him. So here is me breaking down that side of it first.

I think multiple characters match with the same character or could due to the smaller number of characters in AoS when compared to The Last Supper and the different grouping.

You can somewhat match them up with the identity of the apostles and their grouping, either by their reactions to what’s happening or their placement in the photo frame. Though it does change depending on which one you do.

In The Last Supper it’s broken down into four groups of Apostles:

GROUP 1: Bartholomew, James the Less and Andrew are all surprised.

GROUP 2: Judas Iscariot is taken aback; next to him, Peter holds a knife and looks stormy, while the boyish John, the youngest apostle, simply swoons.

GROUP 3: Thomas is upset; James is shocked. Philip wants an explanation.

GROUP 4: In the final group of three, Jude Thaddeus and Matthew turn to Simon the Zealot for answers.

Out of our eight I’d roughly match them up, reaction wise, as follows:

Group 1: Fitzsimmons and Deke, they’re all surprised although Deke also appears to be up to something. 

Group 2: May and Not!Coulson

Group 3: Daisy

Group 4: Elena

Mack: On a framing/position basis he matches up with Jesus. Like Jesus in the Last Supper he has an expansive pose that contrasts with everyone around him, he's the focus and the centre of the frame. The new leader and he has his agents(apostles/followers) around him. Mack appears to be positioned in a similar place to Jesus, opening up the idea of him suffering some kind of betrayal from those closest to him. Similar to how Jesus was betrayed by Judas. I don't see Fitzsimmons being the ones betraying him because of last season, he's already had conflict with Fitz and then saw him die - so I don't think it'll be Fitz and Simmons had a minor betrayal by siding with Fitz rather than following orders and helping lock him up. For me the most likely candidates are May, Daisy or Elena as they are all close to him.

Judas Candidates:

May could betray Mack for Not!Coulson, Ming hinted towards May having some kind of motive/alternate mission this season that isn't to do with SHIELD/Being a SHIELD Agent and so she could be delving into that.  If May is Judas then perhaps Not!Coulson is Peter although that could shift old Coulson into being Jesus (depending on if when referring to Peter saying he doesn't know who Christ is he's referring to not knowing what SHIELD is - like in the trailer or Coulson.)

Elena and Mack are already slightly strained, the conflict over the death of Ruby and the repeated idea that Elena seems to feel like she has to do what’s right regardless of the others opinions of it. She’s impulsive and headstrong (I love her, putting that in here as it sounds like I’m just criticising her,) which could cause problems as she’s the Directors girlfriend and she’ll probably be going against orders during the Season. He’ll not want to seem like he’s playing favourites, especially as in S2 it was shown he wanted a fair SHIELD and I’m assuming he’ll still want that. Plus Mack will be extremely busy, too busy for them to be as close as they have been. And Coulson/Fitz’s deaths will place a strain on Mack. He’s lost Coulson, been placed into the position of Director and has a hologram with the face of Coulson telling him what to do. I really doubt he’ll be in a great place during Season 6.

Daisy: To me she’s the most unlikely candidate for Judas but I will admit it’s a possibility. Similarly to May it could be a Not!Coulson caused rift as Coulson was a Father to her and she may be feeling guilty over his death considering it was a give the serum to her or him situation. Or it could be because she wants to be the Director, Coulson had been grooming her to be the new Director or at least the new face of SHIELD and maybe she’ll disagree with Mack over how he decides to run things as he will do things differently this season as he’s called Coulson out/disagreed with him multiple times.

Other thoughts:

Fitzsimmons and Daisy are grouped together, hopefully showing that at some point that rift between Daisy and Fitz will be healed. I simultaneously want that Fitz/Daisy bromance back and want Daisy’s trauma to be addressed because it got somewhat ignored last season.

May is drinking what is presumably Haig, somewhat heartbreaking.

Elena is wearing the ill-fated SHIELD jacket of death if Season 3 is anything to go by.

As mentioned in many other posts Mack has his toolbox, offically the Director of SHIELD.

Daisy appears to have different gauntlets, presumably because her powers are stronger this season (after taking the serum) this will probably affect her in some way. Also backs up how she seems to be more powerful/confident in her powers in the Season 6 trailer.

Red Lights

The red light seems to be focusing on three people: May, Fitz and Deke with a focus on May and Fitz especially. 

All people that were separated from the team in some way at the end of the last season.

May: She lost Coulson and was with him as he died. The team left her on the beach as they flew off to find Fitz and so we can assume there’ll be some distance between her and the rest of the team. She is also physically separated from them in 5x22 with the ship flying off into space, though the s6 trailer does show she reunites with SHIELD at some point it doesn’t mean it’s immediate. With her I think the ‘danger,’ is Not!Coulson and whatever his mission/motive is - he looks like the man she lost and loved and so he’s in a position to manipulate her. 

Fitz: He’s out frozen in space and the team are going to find him. Though he may have been abducted which only separates them further. There will also be emotional distance as he died, he hurt Daisy and so he’s going to be shocked. They’re dealing with finding him whilst knowing their Fitz who rescued them from space died and dealing with what happened to Fitz (mental break.) The danger when it comes to him is the physical/literal danger he’s in if he’s been taken captive and taken away from cryo!chamber the team are heading to and the mental danger (maybe why the red light covers his head - brain -> brain injury -> framework!Fitz - the whole dual personality thing) as this Fitz has been hearing the Doctor and there’s still a chance he could go through what Loop!Fitz did. Whether that be because of something that has happened during the time between Season 5 and 6 or sometime during the season.

Deke: The canary in the coal mine, their proof that the timeline changed. As far as the team know he’s gone, he never existed and so to them he’s dead. Rather than them searching for him I think it’ll be the other way around, Deke finding them or them finding him accidentally.

These people are the most isolated from the others and so are in the most vulnerable position. They are in the most hypothetical danger and have the greatest chance of being hurt/influenced right now.

Red is traditionally used to symbolise danger and so the light could be representing that, danger and anger and a warning to the audience that none of these characters are safe. Either during or at the start of the season.

With Fitz there are also alien runes surrounding him, symbolising the fact that he’s lost in space/surrounded by aliens? May’s is simply light reflecting on the metal grating of the background, seeming much more ‘normal.’ Reflecting the fact that she’s on earth/focusing mainly on earth in terms of her plot-line?

In contrast the light around May seems darker, emotionally she’s in a dark place and she’s also in the dark when it comes to the mystery surrounding Not!Coulson.

Also may be reaching slightly but Not!Coulson (how are we actually referring to him?) is looking towards her and the light follows the arrows in his eye-line heading towards May with the light increasing in brightness. Showing he’s influencing/manipulating her this season? Or placing her in danger.

With Fitz and May it could also link to the religious symbolism.

The light around Fitz almost resembles a half halo (because he died and was reborn? Angel? Or because this Fitz is innocent compared to Loop!Fitz) and his light is also the brightest shade of red.

The way the brightest red forms a red triangle almost horn shape. Indicating she could be Judas? or influenced by the devil/Lucifer (Not!Coulson) although I don’t feel as if Not!Coulson is going to be a villain after Captain Marvel (he could be but that movie changed how I felt about the Skrulls and so far I think he’ll be a Skrull.) Maybe it indicates that whilst Fitz was reborn she’s going to die (hopefully not!) or ‘fall,’ by doing some bad deed and/or betraying the team/SHIED.

Look who’s in front of the ‘D,’ and guess what word starts with D?  Doctor.

Also does anyone else see figures in the background of the pink/orange bit? Behind the writing

[canon-notcanon-warriorcats]

Submitted by: yumiponypup

Excerpt from Wildstar’s Pride

Warnings: Mentions of Death, Implied Attempted Suicide, Depression

°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°

“Are you ready Wildfang?”

The tom paused, and took a deep breath, turning to face the toms that he brought with him.

“Not like I have much of a choice Rabbitsong,” he sighed, not at all ready. Smallrunner pressed his nose into his shoulder, giving his mate comfort before the ceremony.

“You’ll do just fine Tiger, I know you will.”

With that, Wildfang approached the Star Spire, and pressed his nose to the cold surface.

When he opened his eyes again, he was in a dark, yet also somewhat glowing area. He got up and started to wander, having no clue what he was supposed to do past the spire. He let out a very manly scream that was totally not from fear when he was tackled to the ground by something not bigger than he. He swiped at his attacker, but stopped when he heard that voice he missed so much.

“I know it’s been years Wildfang, but I would have hoped you would still recognize my scent,” purred Icegaze. The warrior released him, and let out a hearty laugh that one wouldn’t expect from such a scrawny tom.

“In my defense you don’t exactly have a scent, it reeks of monster fumes near the spire…” Wildfang paused, lurching towards the tom, “I missed you dad,” he mewed.

“I’m always keeping my eye on you boy, but you know why I’m here. I believe your clanmates would rather have you before sunrise,”

Wildfang straightened up, and let go of the breath he wasn’t holding. He held his head down to level with Icegaze, and gained the first life of many to come.

“With this life, I grant you compassion, use this wisely, I shouldn’t have to explain this to the badger I call a son,” chuckled the older tabby, who promptly received a playful swat from the younger.

Wildfang shivered, he wishes his coat was thicker. It got warmer with his mother taking a seat under his chin. Not wanting to keep him waiting, she held her nose towards her son, waiting for him to meet her halfway. Wildfang held back a snort, and complied.

“With this life I grant you friendship, use it to make great a closeknit clan and keep the bonds holding it together stronger than ever before,” Specklefall purred, and kissed her son’s nose. Wildfang returned the favor by smooching her head, hoping he looked groomed so she wouldn’t fuss about it.

He missed the warmth, but knew Acornkit was in his tail, trying to find a warm spot. The little kit bit him and he had to refrain from jumping, she was no bigger than a mouse compared to her much larger brother. “I thought I scented mischief, what do ya got sis?” The tortiseshell stuck her tounge out, but pressed her nose to the elder.

“With this wife, I gwant you pwotection. Use it to fight to defend youw cwanmates as if they wewe youw own chiwdwen, Siwvewpewt knyows they'ww nyeed it.” Wildfang felt a much more intense warmth, and now finally understood what the other leaders meant when they mentioned burning. He felt like shredding ears.

With the kit fading out to who knows where, Paledream enters, and looked almost too happy to be near Wildfang again. “I’m so happy to finally see you,” purred the grey tabby. Then it hit him, he could finally see what he looks like now, he forgot he could only see him when he was a kitten planning to be his apprentice. Paledream suddenly pulled away and touched his nose.

“With this life, I give you healing, use it to bring a new kind of knowledge to your clan, poor Rabbitsong would thank you for it.”

Wildfang was about to comment, but was hushed by a sudden Littlemist pressing his nose to his. Wildfang pushed him away quickly, needing to recover from being startled. Paledream, who hasn’t left yet, chatised the tom for doing that. Wildfang recovered, and met him again, on his own terms.

“With this life, I grant you leadership, use it to, well, lead. I have so much faith in you, I believe in your strength Fangface.”

Littlemist and his mate faded away, leaving Cloudstar in their place. He was about to say something but Wildfang cut him off with a tackle hug, which was happily returned. Cloudstar backed away, stretching, before continuing with the ceremony.

“With this life I grant you the gift of mentoring, use this to both teach others and learn from those you inspire.” The living cottonball named Cloudstar rested his chin on his old apprentice’s head, remembering what he was going to say. I should have named another warrior to mentor you, Rainstar was a mis-“

"You were dead, it’s not like you could’ve done anything about it, and Stormstar pretty much took me from him so it’s not all bad…” Wildfang trailed off, wishing that Rainstar was never brought up, but recollected himself to prepare for the next cat.

Cloudstar left with an apology, but the IslandClan cat arrived with another. “Wildfang I’m so sorry to have dragged you into that mess it was my fault you-” Wildfang stopped him from speaking with his paw, his pale blue eyes soft with worry. “Flamepoppy, you have been forgiven, I never blamed you for what happened and besides, why would I leave my best friend to rot in a cave?” Flamepoppy started to cry, and pulled the much bigger warrior into a hug. Wildfang pet his head while this occured. The black and ginger tom was soon joined by his mate, a Queen if memory serves. Wildfang nodded to the she-cat who left too soon. “You look even stronger than I remember,” purred Daisyskip, her nearly white eyes shining with starlight. “Come closer child, we don’t have the entire night to waste time with idle chatter,” Flamepoppy let an amused meow escape his muzzle, but quickly corrected himself when he seen the pair watching him. The couple approached, and pressed their noses to his cheeks.

“With this life we grant you Justice and Loyalty, try to both find it and grant it to others, and to show your clan that you aren’t what they may fear you to be,”

The mates left, leaving Wildfang alone once more. He counted the cats who came to see him, but something was wrong… there were only eight cats that gave him a life, and two gave him one life… that added to only seven lives from the Stars.

“You always were the smart one,”

His eyes shot up to meet the ones he hasn’t seen since he was an apprentice. He let his walls down, and started sobbing at the sight of his old denmate. He hasn’t told anyone but Stormstar the truth of what happened, he thought Smallpaw was mad at his mistake. His legs gave out, and he fell forward, spared from the ground by an oddly warm body catching him. Smallpaw knew that Wildfang would’ve been upset after the cave-in, but it looks like he never actually accepted that he was actually gone.

Wildfang shuddered, wrapping his forelegs around the shorter tom. Time was of no concern to him. He wanted to stay and keep Smallpaw in the embrace, but the other pulled away, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. Those damned eyes, they looked so lifeless yet showed so much life behind them.

“You know we can’t stay,” Wildfang nodded.

“You know why I’m here,” He nodded again, ears tilting back slightly.

“Did you know that I’m not mad at you?” He didn’t.

“Did you know that I was never mad at you?” No.

“Did you know that he loves you?” He paused, not responding.

“You know,” He does.

“You love him too,” He has to admit that he’s right.

Smallpaw pulled Wildfang in for a quick hug, and they met in the middle.

“With this life I grant you Strength. Not for combat, but for being the leader of a Clan who may not want you to be theirs. For being a shoulder to cry on, and to listen to the voice others may not hear. To have the ability to cry when you need to, and to admit when you are weak. May the Stars grant you safe passage home, my sweet,”

One voice faded to many, as if every star was cheering to him.

“Wildstar!”