#not to bring some serious undertones to all of this

[monzabee]

bad idea right? – ln4

masterlist

Summary: The one where seeing Lando tonight is a bad idea, right?

Pairing: lando norris x ricciardo!reader

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: mentions of breakups and also fighting, cursing, kind of a toxic relationship?, allusion to smut, it's criminal how long it took me to finish this fic

Request: this wasn’t requested, but the idea is veeery loosely from this tiktok right here! (i might def write the scenario in the tiktok in the future though)

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! it has officially been a month since i started my master's programme and i have to say it is absolutely kicking my ass, but thank you all for bearing with me while i adjust! this song has been stuck in my head for the last two-three (?) months and i really wanted to write a fic based on it. i also wanted to say that i've received all of your guys' requests, and i'm working on those, but it's harder for me to get out a request than a fic that just popped in my head because i tend to be more of a perfectionist with those - so, those are definitely on the way, don't worry! i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

It’s not that you don’t like spending time with your brother and his girlfriend – because you do, but considering the fact that spending a mere hour with them causes you to suddenly question your life choices (of being single), you are very eager to leave them alone for the night. Which brings us to the current situation, with you standing in front of your brother’s apartment complex in one of the hoodies you stole from the sample boxes, waiting for someone you should’ve never hit up in the first place. It was probably not your brightest idea to message Lando to ask him if he wants to go for a ride, especially because a) the last time you saw him a year ago the two of you were yelling and throwing things at each other and b) you’re definitely buzzed from the bottle of wine you hogged upstairs. But you know what they say; absence makes the heart go fonder, right?

So there you are with your phone in your hand, texting Lily in hopes of getting the tiniest bit of reassurance about your decision.

To lily m: i texted lando To lily m: he’s gonna pick me up From lily m: WHAT? NO To lily m: seeing him tonight To lily m: it’s a bad idea, right? From lily m: YES From lily m: DO NOT GET INTO THAT CAR To lily m: yes i know that he’s my ex, but can’t two people reconnect?

Fuck it, it’s fine, you decide as you quickly delete the last two messages. With a soft sigh, you wrap your arms around yourself to shield yourself from the cold air of the night. And while you could just wait for Lando inside the apartment building, you really don’t want to attract more attention to yourself. You can feel yourself getting more and more nervous as the minutes pass by, and you even contemplate cancelling the whole thing and going upstairs to sleep. Just as you’re about to give up on the whole thing, a car honk grabs your attention. When turn to look at the source of the sound, you see Lando’s unamused face through the open window.

He motions you to get in with his head, his voice as equally detached as he calls out, “Get in.”

Rolling your eyes at his behaviour, you do as your told. But you tell yourself that it’s not because he told you to, but because you’re cold. And so you get in the car making sure you slam the door as hard as you can, which makes him scowl as a small smile forms on your lips. “You know, you could really try on being more polite.”

“I’m picking you up in the middle of the night,” he points out as he puts the car on drive and starts driving off, “and put your damn seatbelt on.”

You give him a sideway glance as you put on your seatbelt, letting out a sigh, “Are you okay? I’m sensing some serious undertone.”  

Lando doesn’t answer you, mainly because he is smarter than he looks and he knows you’re trying to goad him into another fight. That’s what the two of you had always done, not that he hated you or vice versa, but the two of you mainly got along in fights which ended up in both of you twisted between the sheets of the whatever hotel you were currently staying in. And it had worked for a while, until of course it didn’t, and Lando was mature enough to admit that he had a huge role in fucking up your relationship.

“You changed your car,” you point out.

“Thought you’d appreciate a roof over your head this time,” he replies.

The car is silent as Lando drives down the now empty streets of Monte Carlo, and you find yourself involuntarily checking out his side profile because well, he always looked so good while driving. You suppose it’s only one of the things that didn’t change with time.

“So,” his voice draws you out from your thoughts, “why’d you call me tonight? Are you drunk?”

“I am not drunk,” you scoff, crossing your arms across your chest, “if you don’t feel like being here Lando, I can just get off and go home.”

“Now I didn’t say that, I simply asked a question.” He steals another glance at you, but this time a little smirk forms on his lips when your eyes meet and he sees your scowl. “It was a harmless question, really.”

Your voice comes off as clipped as you answer, “I’m not drunk.”

“Your cheeks are red,” Lando points out but the playfulness from mere seconds ago is gone, in fact, he’s more serious than you’ve probably ever seen him, “you either had wine or your rosacea is acting up.”

It takes a moment for you to take in his words, and there is no humour in his voice or on his face when you look at him to see whether he’s joking or not. “I had some wine,” you confess, voice much lower than before as you add, “but I’m not drunk.” One of his eyebrows rise up, and you find yourself mumbling, “Fine maybe a little bit, but not a lot.”

His jaw ticks as he mumbles, “Okay, whatever you say.” And as you try to assess whether his voice is cold or not, you see his hands tightening around the steering wheel.

“What?” You ask, a bit quicker than necessary (in your opinion), “What did I say?”

Now it’s his turn for his voice to be clipped, and his eyebrows furrow as he asks, “Did you only call me because you’re drunk?”

“No,” your reply is truthful to some extent, you suppose, you would’ve texted him even if you had no alcohol in your system. “I wanted to see you.”

He lets out a hum, “Why?”

It’s a hard question, and you contemplate not being a hundred percent honest – but deep down you know he deserves better, even if you had your differences. So, to reveal the truth, you turn your face away from him to look outside the window, “I missed you.”

He doesn’t say anything, and you don’t turn to see what his reaction will be. Everything is peaceful for a moment.

He takes you to a hill, the very one he took you for your first date. Though, it doesn’t carry the same excitement this time around. The two of you remain in the car with the windows rolled down, but the colder air doesn’t make you chilly. It’s silent, but it’s not an uncomfortable one. Neither of you make the first move to start a conversation, and you don’t know if that’s because you’re both obstinate or he doesn’t want to be there. Though, you suspect he would’ve told you ‘no’ if he didn’t want to be there – not that he could ever tell you ‘no’.

It's unnaturally hard, you realise, not looking at him on purpose when he’s seated so close to you. Especially because you haven’t seen him in months. Not that you’d confess that to him, or let yourself have another weak moment where you say you missed him. Because you can’t. Because it’s not the way the two of you operate. Because he broke your heart but you’re not strong enough to let him go. With that last thought, you take a sharp breath, undo your seatbelt and get out of the car. You lean against the hood of the car and he soon follows suit. But where your hands are splayed behind your back, his arms are crossed over his chest.

“You’ve not been sleeping.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement. Because he is not dumb (or blind enough) to let the circles under your eyes slide.

And it’s a statement that might be true. You only give him half of a shrug, “So?”

“It means that something is bothering you.” You’re about to object, but he quickly shuts you down, “I once drove you around for four hours so you could sleep in my car, honey,” his fingers move to gently turn your chin towards him so he can look into your eyes, “and that was because you forgot to bring me back junk food from Australia.”

Even if you’re taken aback by his physical touch, you don’t show it as you stubbornly maintain your eye contact. “It’s the jet lag, I haven’t travelled in a while.” You gulp down a breath as you gently push his hand away, “And don’t call me that.”

“Why?” He turns his body to face you, “You’re just as sweet, aren’t you?”

“Lando,” you warn him, “don’t.”

He raises a brow, “Why not?”

“Because we’re friends,” your response comes off in an instant, “I only see you as a friend.” The biggest lie you’ve ever said.

“Friends,” he repeats, tests out the word, then shrugs, “sure. Now tell me what happened tonight that made you call me. Did you and Daniel fight?”

“What?” an involuntary laugh leaves your lips, and you catch the corner of his lips turning upwards just the smallest bit. “No, we didn’t, it’s not about Daniel. Can we just not talk about it, please?”

He gives you a firm nod, and you catch his grimace as he turns his attention back to the view in front of you. “You can tell me, you know,” he mumbles, “you used to.”

He’s right, you realise. You used to tell him all the little thought that popped into your head, whether it was nice or not, and he’d accommodated your thoughts. It was easier to talk to him, once upon a time, and you’re not really sure why it hurts so much right now that you can’t.

“Why do you care?” The question comes out quickly, and your voice is not as strong as you’d like it to be. “After everything, why do you care?”

“We’re friends, right?” The words tastes unbelievably sour in his mouth, and he has to restrain himself from making any sort of face, but it seems harder than it actually is for him to do and he questions whether it is worth it to

“Friends,” this time it’s your turn to test out the word, and it tastes as bitter as they come, “sure, can we ride around a bit more?”

“Fine,” he gives you a nod and motions you to get in the car, “but I have to get gas first.”

The fluorescent lighting of the gas station is definitely not the most flattering thing. So much so that you’re sure the unflattering light outside is exaggerating the bags under your eyes. But that situation of course doesn’t apply to Lando because even under the harsh lighting, he looks too pretty. And compared to earlier in the night, you don’t try to hide the way your eyes focus on him while he’s driving, though you hope you do a much better job at hiding the thoughts that come to your mind. Even after he’s parked the car in the nearest pump, you find yourself staring at his side profile a bit too long, which earns you a sideway smirk and you try your hardest not to react, but the smile you keep trying to fight is too strong and eventually you find yourself with the tiniest smile playing on your lips.

Lando turns towards you, meets your eyes and leans over the console, “Do you want anything from the shop?”

You blink once, trying to come up with anything, twice, then “Can you get me those gummy bears that I like?”

He gives you another nod, reaches into his pocket and then hand you his phone. Ignoring your questioning stare, he explains, “So that you can play music or something, the password is still the same.” Before he gets out of the car, he does the unexpected and leans in just a little bit more to press a feather-light kiss to your temple.

You watch him get out of the car and walk away from you with your mouth slightly hanging open. You contemplate trying to unlock the phone, because why would he tell you that his password is the same? And why would he trust you with his phone when the two of you have been broken up for over a year? With shaky hands, your fingers put in the password, calling Lando’s bluff. Oh shit, you think when the phone unlocks, now what? Throwing the phone out of your hands onto the driver seat, you grab your own and quickly type a new message to Kika, who of course got the news from Lily and has been blowing up your phone, while ignoring her dozen other messages who went unread in your text thread.

To kika: this was a bad idea kika Tokika: a very *very* bad idea From kika: please tell me you’re going home To kika: um… To kika: sure From kika: GET OUT OF THAT CAR AND GET YOUR ASS HOME From kika: NOW!!

Chewing on your lower lip, your eyes linger on the messages spamming your phone, and you contemplate just getting out of the car and trying to find your way back home. But you also can’t help yourself but think… what’s the worst that could happen if you stayed? Clicking the button on the side of your phone, you place it face down on your lap after making sure you silence it for the rest of the night. With the reminder of the abandoned phone on the seat next to yours, you open your window to let some of the night air in. As your phone keeps buzzing on your lap, your eyes focus on the figure that comes out of the convenience store – and by some grace of God, he doesn’t realise the way your eyes basically undress him as he approaches his McLaren.

There’s no smile on his face, in fact, if you didn’t know Lando, you’d say he looks like an asshole; not that he occasionally doesn’t act like one. He gives you that boyish smirk when he’s next to your window, signalling you to roll it down by tapping on it twice. Lando leans against the car, his eyes locked onto yours. “Got your gummy bears,” he says, holding up the package and handing it to you once you roll it down. “It was the last one too, you’re lucky.”

Giving a tight lipped smile to the man looking expectantly at you, you accept the packet of gummy bears. “Thank you, Lando,” the softening look in his eyes is, ironically, strong enough for you to choke on the next words that are on the tip of your tongue. “I–”

“I’m sorry to bother you, are you Lando Norris?” A third voice interrupts you, and you find yourself moving your gaze from Lando to the woman who’s excitedly waiting for a response.

“Yes,” he breathes out, and you can tell he’s trying to keep his voice polite but he’s also very annoyed at the same time – though the way he eyes up the stranger definitely makes your blood boil.

With his attention on the woman, you find yourself feel the tension in the air and quickly look down at the packet of gummy bears in your hands. You start absentmindedly picking at the wrapper, your mind racing with a mixture of emotions. As the conversation between Lando and the fan continues, you steal glances at them from the corner of your eye. She's gushing about a recent race, talking animatedly about the thrilling moments she witnessed. Lando, for his part, is gracious and engaged, taking the time to listen and respond. And despite the polite exchange, you can't help but feel a pang of jealousy. It's a reminder of the world he's a part of, a world where fans approach him with admiration and excitement. A world you used to share, but now only observe from the sidelines.

You watch the woman place her hand on Lando’s bicep, laughing at a (rather mediocre) joke he made about the understeer of the car. It’s not a funny joke by any means, and you are not scared to admit that the woman’s laugh that fills your ears makes your insides twist uncomfortably. You remind yourself that you're here by choice. You could have left at any moment. But there's something about this night, about being with Lando again, that you can't quite let go of. It's a confusing mix of nostalgia and longing, wrapped in a blanket of uncertainty.

The woman’s voice hits your ears as you hear her ask, “Do you want to come back to my place?”

Without letting them both know that you’re actively listening into their conversation, you attempt to subtly let out a warning cough, but Lando covertly smirks as he leans towards the car with his hand grabbing the lowered window – without caring about the possible finger prints he might leave behind, might you add. Without any hesitation, you let your fingers go of the packaging to thread your fingers with his.

While his thumb gently starts to draw circles on the knuckle of your thumb, he does his best to supress the chuckle building up in his throat. “That’s, um, very kind – but I’m with my girl, you see, and we are both pretty tired.”

Maybe you would’ve given her a friendly smile over a misunderstanding if you were in a better mood, but as the woman looks at you with wild eyes, all you can offer her is an annoyed pout, and soon after she leaves after apologising to you both for interrupting your plans. You watch her leave until there is a good enough distance for her to not hear you, and then turn to Lando and give him a glare as you hiss, “I am not ‘your girl’.”

He finally lets out the chuckle he’s been holding as he watches you letting go of his hand with an exaggerated push, and then diverts his amused eyes towards you, “Sure, whatever you say, jealous girl.”

“I am not– I wasn’t jealous!” you exclaim, eyes narrowed. When he starts walking towards the driver’s side, you can’t help but call out, “I’m not jealous!”

Lando is still chuckling to himself when he gets in the car, and even as he starts driving, completely ignoring your whining complaints. “That’s alright, honey,” he says, voice full of condescension, “it was very cute.”

“You are an ass.” You roll your eyes as you cross your arms across your chest. “Maybe I should’ve gotten off when I had the chance, that way you could’ve fucked her in the back seat.”

“Bold of you assume she’s the one I’d want to fuck in my back seat,” he raises an eyebrow, then shrugs “but sure.”

Your face scrunches up in disgust, “You’re, ugh, you’re just the worst, Lando.” Shaking your head in disbelief, you add, “I can’t believe I’m arguing with you over you fucking girls in your car.”

Lando manages to get out a disapproving tut, and then contends, “I never said I’d fuck girls in my car, I’d said I’d rather fuck you in my car.”

Completely baffled by this revelation, not that you should’ve been, you turn to him in disgust, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” He shrugs again, noncommittally, and without paying you any mind continues to focus on the road.

“Well,” you laugh, breathlessly, “good thing that’s never happening.” Gently clearing your throat, you later can’t help yourself but add a silent, “Again.”

“If you’d rather a bed, that could also be arranged, honey.” Lando assures you, and you realise the little fucker has a smirk growing on his face.

“As if I’d sleep with you willingly,” you scoff.

A boisterous laugh is what you get from Lando, who tilts his head towards you, “Come on, I’m a good-looking bloke.”

“And I’m sure I’ve seen much hotter man,” you sing, but you just can’t remember when. So deciding to block out what Lando is rambling about, you pull out your phone to message someone who has the answer for you.

To lily m + kika: can you tell me someone who is hotter than lando? From lily m: alex From kika: pierre To lily m + kika: ew, be serious please From kika: what about the guy with the accent, from hungary? From lily m: the doctor? To lily m + kika: i think she meant the reporter From lily m: god no he was a creep From lily m: what about the surfer? From kika: oh yeah he was cute too To lily m + kika: i need someone hot, pleaseee From lily m: THE MODEL FROM MILAN From kika: WITH THE ABS From kika: and also porche From lily m: BUT ALSO THE ABS To lily m + kika: okay thanks To lily m + kika: love you guys

Getting lost in the conversation, with the aid of your ambition to prove yourself right and, naturally, Lando wrong, you don’t realise that he’s actually driven you back to his apartment instead of a bar or literally some other place that sells alcohol in that ungodly hour.

“This isn’t a bar.” You point out, eyebrows furrowed.

Lando dignifies your comment with a scoff, “Well aren’t you quite the detective?”

Crossing your arms across your chest, you basically hiss at him this time, “This is basically kidnapping.”

Lando glances at you, a playful glint in his eyes. “Kidnapping? Really? I thought we were just catching up.”

You shoot him a sarcastic look, but can't help the small smile that tugs at your lips. “Yeah, sure. Catching up in the middle of the night at your place.”

He parks the car and turns to face you, a smirk dancing on his lips. “Well, here’s my proposal. I’ll go to my apartment and you’re free to either join me or drive my car back to Daniel’s – I’ll come pick it up tomorrow.”

You hesitate for a moment, considering your options as you watch Lando give you an assuring smile and handing you the keys before getting out of the car. Going back to your brother's place doesn't sound all that appealing, and Lando's offer, as questionable and a bad idea as it may be, seems like the lesser of two evils. Though, there is also the reality that if when you go up to his apartment, you’re probably going to do something that either you or your friends will regret tomorrow morning. Watching Lando’s retreating figure move further into the apartment building, you think, fuck it, it’s fine.

So, you wait for a few minutes, anxiously twirling the car keys in your hand to make him wait – but you’re pretty sure it makes you suffer just as much. You take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and then climb out of the car. Locking it behind you, you follow Lando into the building. The familiar scent of his cologne hits you as you step into the elevator, and a wave of nostalgia washes over you. The elevator ride going up to the second floor is pure torture, and it leaves you squirming in your place the whole time. Basically throwing yourself out of the elevator once it lands on the second floor, you realise that Lando has been waiting for you, standing and smiling at his door.

He gives you a teasing look as you approach, clearly amused by your slightly dishevelled state. “Took you long enough,” he remarks, unlocking the door and holding it open for you. But instead of saying anything or retorting back, you quietly follow him inside his apartment. Lando closes the door behind you, the sound echoing through the quiet apartment. The dim lighting casts a soft glow, creating an intimate atmosphere. The first thing that catches your eye is the helmet collection he keeps in the living room. Without saying anything, you quickly make your way over to the shelves that display the helmets, trying your best to avoid his approaching footsteps behind you. The familiar design of a particular helmet has you instinctively tracing the number at the top, and the arms that hug your waist from behind makes you freeze for a moment. Lando's touch is both familiar and foreign, stirring up a mix of emotions you thought were long buried.

“That's from Monza, 2021,” he says, his voice close to your ear. The warmth of his breath sends a shiver down your spine.

You clear your throat, attempting to regain composure. “I remember,” you reply, your fingers still lingering on the helmet.

For a moment, neither of you speaks. The weight of the past and the uncertainty of the present hangs in the air. Lando breaks the silence, his voice low and measured. “I wasn't sure you'd actually come up.”

You turn to face him, meeting his gaze, but don’t attempt getting out of his arms. “I didn't think so either.”

Without breaking eye contact, he slowly leans in, his lips brushing against yours. It's a tentative touch, a testing of waters, and you find yourself responding to the familiarity of the kiss. The taste of the past lingers, and for a moment, it's as if the years haven't passed. But reality crashes back in, and you pull away, the distance now a necessary boundary. Lando looks at you, a mix of emotions playing on his face. There's longing, regret, and an unspoken acknowledgment of the complexities that bind you.

“I thought we could just catch up,” he says, his tone a mix of apology and yearning.

You turn in your place, facing him. “Catching up was never our strong suit, was it?”

“Not really,” Lando shakes his head, “no.”

You bite down on the corner of your lip, threading your fingers through his curls as you pull his face down to meet yours as you rise on your tiptoes, “It’s a bad idea, right?”

Lando lets out a supportive hum as he lets his lips softly brush against yours, “The worst.” And maybe he should have been the gentleman and pull away, but when he sees your eyes closing, he just leans in further to press his lips against yours – and the way you respond to his kiss? It's as if the world outside ceases to exist. The kiss deepens, each brush of his lips against yours reigniting a long-buried flame. Lando's hands find their way to the small of your back, pulling you closer, erasing the physical space between you.

You don’t complain as he pulls you towards his bedroom, or when he gently throws you on his bed, the anticipation hanging thick in the air. As he hovers over you, the weight of the past and the intensity of the present converge. His hands trace the contours of your face, memorizing every curve as if committing it to memory. And when the two of you get lost between each other within his sheets, the only thing that ends up coming from your mouth is either his name, or some sort of encouragement to keep him going. After he manages to wear you out, Lando decides that you’re definitely not going anywhere as he wraps you in his arms around you. The room is filled with the soft sounds of breaths syncing, hearts beating in tandem. Lando's fingers draw absent patterns on your skin while you check the messages that have accumulated in your phone. The glow of your phone illuminates the dim room, creating a subtle contrast to the warmth that envelops you. Lando's presence beside you adds an extra layer of comfort, a silent acknowledgment of the shared intimacy that unfolded moments ago.

From danny: please tell me you didn’t get kidnapped by the organ mafia From danny: wink twice if you’re alive From danny: this is not funny, where are you? From danny: fine i’ll ask alex to ask lily

Rolling  your eyes before sending him a text to let your brother know you’re okay, you decide to turn your attention to the group chat with Lily and Kika.

From kika: did you get home safe? From lily m: daniel is pretty stressed about it From lily m: please for the love of god tell us you’re home and not with lando right now To lily m + kika: omg just calm down i’m in bed To lily m + kika: and i’m going to sleep To lily m + kika: love you guys

You catch a glimpse of Lando’s grin over your shoulder as you click your phone off, but he only chuckles as he buries his face into your neck as he leaves small kisses to the skin there. “Well, I’m not lying, I just didn’t specify where I was.”

“Or in whose sheets,” his laugher gets louder as you jokingly slap him on the arm, “go to sleep, honey, we’ll be tired in the morning.”

And it might’ve been a bad idea to message him in the first place, but it certainly doesn’t feel like one.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐎𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 | Mistakes

Jungkook knew from the first look at your eyes, that you'd be the biggest mistake he'll ever make.

Tags/Warnings: Aged up!Jungkook, Younger!Reader, Age Gap (9 years, JK is mentioned to be 34/35), Angst, Mature romance, Smut, car sex, protected sex, no strings attached, big dick!Jungkook, implied size kink, very mild Dom!Kook undertones, oral (m. receiving), sugar daddy!Jungkook vibes but only in a joking manner

Length: 7k words (oops)

There is no taglist for this fic.

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Jeon Jungkook doesn't really attend parties- typically.

But this time, for this occasion, he can't really pull himself out- he's got to at least show up for a moment, be there and present, before he can call it a night and go home. It's not like he hates his coworkers or employees most of all- he's just not that good at socializing, and never really was.

He's learned to be alone, and now he's too good at it.

A lot of the people in the hall, he doesn't know. That's probably because he's allowed people to bring a plus-one, so most of the people here are couples, which makes the whole situation just so much worse. "You could at least try and appear like you're having fun, you know?" Taehyung laughs, standing closer to his coworker now, a drink in hand. "It's not that bad." He tries to lighten the mood, but Jungkook just rolls his eyes.

"It's not even been an hour and I already want to go." He sighs.

"Why not leave then?" Tae wonders, sipping his non-alcoholic drink, since he's gonna have to drive home later, his wife currently conversing with other coworkers. "Oh, right, because Namjoon-"

"God don't remind me." Jungkook mumbles, shaking his head as he sips his whiskey. "I can't believe I lost that bet." He growls to himself, watching how someone seems to struggle with choosing the right food at the buffet, plate still empty even after several minutes. You look young, or maybe you're just short- he's not sure, but what he is sure about is that you do not work for him or his company- at least not in the same building. He would've noticed you, just like he does right now.

"I think she's Yoongi's plus-one? Or at least he drove here with her together.." Taehyung mumbles, having spotted his friend watching you.

"She looks young." Jungkook mumbles. "And I thought Yoongi was seeing the secretary we hired a few months ago?" He wonders, finally letting his eyes leave you alone, form-fitting dress very complimenting to your body, not too revealing, but still somewhat teasing.

Taunting him, almost.

"Oh, he does! Namjoon caught them making out in Yoongi's office last week." Taehyung laughs. "She's probably just a friend." He shrugs.

A friend, huh?

"Maybe something for you though?" Taehyung jokes. "I mean, I think I saw her drinking earlier, so she's at least of legal age." He laughs, making Jungkook cringe at him. He doesn't really find this whole joke funny- not at all, but Taehyung is right when it comes to Jungkook having a.. severe lack of company these past few years. Only occasionally does he have some sex without any strings attached- never brings anybody home however, refuses to cling to someone.

He's divorced anyways. Most women don't really find that very appealing.

Maybe he can have some simple company this time as well, nothing serious at all- it's been a while, after all, and everyone's an adult here, no matter the age difference. As long as he communicates it properly, there's no reason not to at least converse with you.

So he does indeed approach you, finding you still at the buffet, barely anything on your plate at all.

"Too much to choose from?" He wonders next to you, and he realizes the huge mistake he's made when approaching you the second you lift your head to look at him.

The lights reflect in your eyes like mirrors, minimal makeup perfectly enhancing your features, lips shiny with the most sinful shade of lipgloss this world probably has to offer. He's a goner, right away, lost in the sight of you, as if he's been thrown into the deep end of a pool so cold that it freezes his muscles, making him sink down to the bottom like a stone.

"Oh, no.." You answer, looking back at all the foods. "I have a shellfish allergy, so I'm not sure what I can eat.." You mumble, one hand having reached up to play with the sparkling pink gemstone hanging around your neck.

His mouth feels dry for a second, before he catches himself.

"Here." He mentions, pointing at some small numbers near the names of the foods on the small cards. "Those small numbers, the three right there is for shellfish." He offers, pointing towards a different card close by where the numbers are explained.

"Oh! Thank you so much, I hate contact lenses!" You laugh to yourself. "I usually wear glasses, but I wanted to look pretty.." You giggle, putting some food onto your plate now.

"I'm sure nothing can ruin a face like that." He flirts without truly thinking about it- making you visibly blush, trying to contain a smile.

"I appreciate the compliment…?" You wonder, and Jungkook knows, he's probably about to make another, grave mistake.

"Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook." He introduces himself, and you tell him your name in return, smiling oh-so devastatingly beautiful.

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His plan was absolutely not to explore what might be beneath that pretty dress of yours- and it seems like that might stay that way despite his length inside you.

You're moving your hips in ways that makes him dizzy, mind clouded with lust as you bounce up and down, hands on your back the only thing helping you avoid accidentally hitting the steering wheel. He's pushed the seat back as far as it goes, but you can never be too sure- he wouldn't want you to honk and draw attention to the surely shaking vehicle in the darkened parking lot.

The condom had been pure luck- he's not a fan of pulling out, so if it hadn't been there in the glove box of his car, he probably would've had to awkwardly call it quits before anything really happened at all. It's not like you both instantly were at each other's throats the moment you left the gathering- he simply offered to drive you home instead of Yoongi, who'd wanted to stay a little longer, while you complained about feeling tired. And in his car, you'd talked- casually so, something clicking, as he's now got you on his lap, bouncing on his dick like he's not experienced in quite some time now.

He feels a bit bad. Despite making sure that you know this is nothing but a casual fuck, it still feels a little odd to him. He doesn't like things like these- it feels like he's using you, and he's not a fan of such situations.

Though he can't deny that you feel absolutely divine.

The rain is heavy outside, pushing against the car's windows from all sides, drowning out the otherwise rather obscene sounds coming from between your bodies. Your hands are on his shoulders, fingers gripping his muscles beneath the fabric of his formal button-up. He refuses to kiss you, can't find it in him to do it, and you accept it, instead treating it as detached as you can, simply chasing your high as you fuck yourself on his twitching length.

He feels good. Thick, able to reach far inside you, but not enough to hurt.

The way he holds you is nice too- not too strong of a grip, only enough to guide you, keep you moving, keep you going. He's not big on dirty talk, isn't over the top with anything, and it almost feels like he's treating you like a woman, and not some chick he's met at a party. There's a certain sense of respect he's offering you that gives you confidence, makes you feel powerful for once even though he's clearly setting the pace.

This is something you don't usually get to have. Someone taking you seriously.

"You close?" He asks out of breath, avoiding your eyes, rather looking at your lips, though never moving into action. A limit he's set, and a limit he follows, he's clearly a man that doesn't wildly change his mind on the fly. Though, considering who he is, and where he is in life, he probably has had enough time to be untamed and wild already. You faintly wonder if he's ever been in a long-term relationship. Yoongi hasn't really talked about him much.

Neither have you asked. You've seen him, once or twice- but a man like that is out of range for you.

You nod when he grips your behind, reminding you quietly of his question, hips stuttering as he takes over, helping you move to chase his own orgasm right after yours. You're a bit overly sensitive, but you push through it just to see him clench his jaw, eyes closing as he groans out in relief, cum spurting into the condom inside you.

It's suddenly over, and not even your evening breaths can mask the slight awkwardness that's filling the car.

One of his hands keeps you close, though you have to lean against him a bit as to not move your hips too much as he reaches for something from the glovebox, plastic wrap of the small pack of tissues making a distinctive sound. "You okay?" He asks you, and you nod, now having switched places apparently as you avoid his face entirely.

You rather move a bit weirdly to accept the tissue offered, lifting your hips to awkwardly wipe yourself down, before pulling up your underwear and climbing back into the passenger seat, where you clean the inside of your thighs while he discards the condom from his length with a slight hiss of sensitivity.

You never really know what to say. You don't actually do this often- this is only the second time you've ever hooked up with anyone like this, and it's just as weird as the first time.

"Thank you, by the way." He offers, taking the challenge away from you as he puts the tied up condom in the tissue to discard it at home later. "Let me drive a bit closer to the building, just so you don't get too wet." He says, pulling his seat back into proper position before he starts the car.

Such a gentleman- You're a little disappointed. But only mildly so. Will you even stay in his mind?

Probably not.

You're way too young for a man like him, who most likely wants a proper woman in his life instead of a.. instead of you. You're not even sure where you are at in life- neither a woman nor a girl, somewhere in between, floating, unsure, neither and both. You know however for a fact that you'll remember him- probably for quite a while, before the memory will fade into nothing but a glimpse.

"There we go." Jungkook says, stopping the car very much in front of your apartment building, sideways so that you can run right into the main hall. "Please remember to text Yoongi, okay?" He reminds you. "He might be worried otherwise." He smiles kindly, and you nod, a bit forced, grabbing your light coat and your handbag. "And.. I enjoyed it. Very much so." He makes sure to tell you, making you nod a bit shy.

"I.. uhm, I'm glad." You nod, awkwardly, causing him to chuckle.

"Now go hurry inside before the rain starts again." He urges, making you nod dumbly once more before you open the car door, running inside the apartment building after closing the door.

And he drives off, back home, where nothing waits for him but the humming fridge and a cold, empty bed.

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Daehyun can be a little spoiled, but other than that, he's a well behaved kid for his age.

He loves staying at your place, though his questions on when you'll be getting another dog after your first passed away a year ago are sometimes a bit stinging to your heart. He's a child, obviously- he doesn't understand the hurt that can settle in your soul after losing such an important piece of your life, so you can't blame him for moving on a lot quicker than you.

He's too young to understand that yet.

"Uncle Yoongi has a cat now!" Daehyun tells you as he builds the lego set with you, his small hands having some difficulty here and there, but he's a quick learner, and a good improviser. "But he said I can't play with her, because she's a girl-cat, and girl-cats don't like playing." He explains, pouting a bit as he uses all his strength to pull two pieces apart again.

"Well, I think she's just be a little nervous still." You reassure the boy. "You know, she just moved into a new home. Things might be a little scary to her." You explain, and Daehyun nods.

"I only pet her a bit." Daehyun tells you. "Appa said we're gonna get a dog soon though!" He says with excitement, making you smile.

"That's nice." You agree, helping him pull some bricks apart. You like having the little boy over at your place- it makes you feel both like a grown person, and also like a child at the same time. Daehyun doesn't judge your vast collections of stuffed animals and lego sets- he only sees you as the nice aunt, a big sister, a friend of his dad where he stays over at often whenever work gets in the way and takes away most of Taehyung's attention. Just like this weekend- Taehyung having needed someone to look after the boy, Dae's mother constantly equally without any time. You're not sure how long that marriage is gonna last with her refusing to step back at least a little to properly take care of her own child, and with Taehyung's growing frustration over the situation.

You hope the poor boy won't get caught up in the crossfire. That would just be awful.

Hours later, all the toys put away, your doorbell rings, giving you the clue that someone must be now here to pick the young boy up. Probably either Jimin or Yoongi- but when you open the door, it's neither of them, but a casually dressed Jungkook, hands in his slacks as your gaze gets caught on the slightly unbuttered shirt that's tucked into the pants, LY-labeled belt buckle accentuating his rather slim waist.

What the fuck.

"Oh- uh, come inside." You offer, stepping aside to let him in, Daehyun quickly running up to Jungkook, who mirrors the excitement of the young boy as he squats down to hug him. You let them both have their moment, instead walking around to collect all of Dae's things, checking twice to make sure he didn't forget anything, as you text Taehyung to make sure the man is really supposed to take the boy with him.

He is, which makes you a bit upset. Taehyung could've told you before.

When you walk back inside the living room area, Dae is currently busy showing Jungkook a stuffed animal- a gift from Jimin a year ago, modeled after your dog as a keepsake. "He was suuuper big, and really nice!" Dae beams up at the man. "He always ate ice cubes, but-" the small boy inspects the stuffed animal a little, lips pouting. "-Noona said he was really old, so he went to sleep." He offers, and Jungkook seems to realize what the stuffed toy might actually be.

"Let's put him back on the table then, yeah?" He offers, a hand with faint ink taking the toy from the smaller hands of the boy to place it back next to the picture frame of your dog and the collar on the tiny table near the door where he used to sleep. "So he can sleep well." He explains, making Dae nod. When you make your presence finally known, Jungkook removes the hand, heavy watch on his wrist faintly hitting the edge of the table for a second, as he watches how you help the small boy into his jacket.

You're a little confusing.

"Alright." You say after successfully getting Daehyun to put on his shoes. "Theres- uhm, there's a, wait, I'll show you.." You say, moving to pull a little folder out of one of the bags packed. "This one, please make sure Taehyung sees this. It's Daehyun's homework, and he really needs to do them this time." You emphasize. "Just make sure he actually looks inside at least once.." You sigh, putting the bright red folder back into the bag.

"I'll make sure." Jungkook accepts, taking the bag from you. "Anything else?" he wonders, and you refuse any eye contact, instead shaking your head to hug Daehyun goodbye as you bring him and Jungkook to your front door.

"Noona, you gotta hug Jungkookie too!" Dae says, surprising you with his lack of formality when addressing his father's friend- but you don't question it.

And admittedly, Jungkook is fairly surprised when you do in fact reach out to hug him goodbye, though very formal. It's still.. oddly nice, you don't seem to wear perfume but rather rely on your scented bodywash, which smells very good to him. This is weird. Why is he getting such feelings of comfort for a simple hug with nothing attached to it?

And why is he kind of disappointed when it ends far too quickly?

But it gets worse in the car, because Daehyun has clearly gotten the wrong message entirely. "Noona doesn't have a boyfriend." He says from the backseat where Jungkook has placed the booster seat he's gotten from Taehyung in cases like these where he has to pick up the young boy. "And appa said you don't have a girlfriend." He says, making Jungkook nod and hum a reply. "Noona is really pretty." He giggles. Jungkook cant help but chuckle along.

"She is." He agrees, because he won't lie about that. You are very pretty in his opinion, though he can only really judge you mostly by looks alone. "Did you have fun? I heard you were there the whole weekend." He tries to steer the conversation away, but the young boy clearly doesn't get the message.

"Noona can cook really well!" He praises. "She always makes me my favorite, and then we watch tv in our 'jamas." He says, and Jungkook has to imagine you both probably bundled up in blankets on the small couch you have, watching kid's shows until the poor boy falls asleep.

Domestic. Do you like children? Want your own in the future, maybe?

"Jungkookie?" Dae asks, and Jungkook hums a reply, telling the kid he's listening. "Do you like Noona?" He wonders.

"I don't know her that much, dae. But she seems nice." He offers instead, trying to evade the interrogation of the small boy.

"Do you like drinking?" Dae wonders. "Like, the stuff appa says I can't have?" He asks, and Jungkook grows a bit weary. Why exactly would the young boy ask something like that?

"Sometimes. Why do you ask?" He asks the boy, who seems to deflate now.

"Then you can't be friends with Noona." He complains.

"Why not?" Jungkook wonders.

"Because, the guy noona liked for a while always got mean when he was drinking that stuff." Dae complains, looking out the window. "I was never allowed to play at noona's house when he was there. He really liked that stuff that smells bad, but it made noona upset." He says.

Jungkook tenses up a bit. "Was he ever-, how was he mean to you?" Jungkook wonders.

"He always told noona to do things for him, and never let her play with me." He huffs. "And Yogi didn't like him too, because he always had to stay in his bed." He complains. Jungkook assumes the boy is probably talking about the dog.

Jungkook doesn't know how to ask what he wants to ask. It doesn't concern him at all- after all, it seems like you're no longer together with that guy, so he shouldn't pry. But something makes him worry- deep down, he's awfully wary, since he now realizes you did indeed not even touch any alcohol at the party at all- the drink Taehyung had seen you hold non-alcoholic. How bad must the relationship have been? You might not have a fear of men, but you're clearly affected by the past, it seems like.

"Did.." no. He shouldn't be asking that. It's none of his business.

"Do you get mean too when you drink?" Dae wants to know. "Appa only gets really sleepy." He giggles. Jungkook laughs along. Taehyung truly does only get horribly tired whenever he drinks- and he knows for a fact that he never gets drunk when he has to take care of the boy alone, so he's not at all alarmed by those words.

"No, I don't get mean." Jungkook answers. "I don't really drink a lot of it, so it only makes me feel a bit silly." He offers as an explanation, and Dae nods.

"Then, maybe Noona won't mind." He says, causing Jungkook to chuckle, shaking his head.

"Why do you want Noona to like me so much?" He wonders, and at that, Taehyung's son becomes excited.

"Because, then my favorite people like each other!" He exclaims. "And that's really cool. Then we can have sleepovers together, and you can help me get a new dog for noona!" He says. "She's really sad that Yogi sleeps now. I think she's lonely." He whines.

"We can have sleepovers anyways, dae." He laughs.

"But, appa told eomma, that you need someone you like." He huffs. Jungkook reminds himself to scold his friend at a later date. "Because you're not happy now, and you're lonely. And noona's lonely too." He offers.

Luckily, Jungkook escapes any further questioning as he finally reaches Taehyung's apartment, ready to drop the young boy off.

The whole conversation not leaving him at all the entire rest of the day, as he realizes he forgot to show Taehyung the folder.

Crap. This is your fault.

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It's been weeks- and apart from rubbing one out to the remaining memories of you in his car, he's not really thought much about you at all.

He's seen you on occasion here and there at the grocery store or a coffee shop, which made him realize that you've always been right under his nose but he just never knew who you were, but you two don't really have had any actual conversations anymore.

There's no reason for it.

He now knows that you're actually the part-time nanny Taehyung used to have a few years back, when you apparently had just been fighting to find a new job to keep your apartment and not get kicked out for not being able to pay rent. Back then, Taehyung and his wife had been living separated for a bit after a pretty bad fight- so the father had needed someone to take some weight off his shoulders, and help with the small child who couldn't even talk yet. You helped raise Daehyun basically, more or less- and, according to Taehyung, it shows.

The young boy has a strong sense of justice, and shares everything he has happily- something that he's learned from you. It makes some odd things make sense now to Jungkook as well- how Dae has some habits that seem very unique, but also too specific to have been developing all on their own. The child holds the front of his shirt a lot- something Jungkook noticed you do in a similar way as well, whenever you think of something.

Today, it's Daehyun's birthday. And Jungkook is sure, that the young boy probably demanded that both jungkook and you had to be there.

And he's right.

The minute he enters Taehyung's penthouse, he spots you sitting on the floor with the child, who's currently trying to read his own birthday card to you, before he spots him in the doorway. You look pretty, yet again. No makeup it seems like, and he can't say that you need it. You obviously don't, eyes still sparkling dangerously, smile still as lethal as ever as you wave a little bit before getting up.

You're dressed comfortably. He likes the sight of it- the casual dress you wear not too short to be scandalous, but short enough to tease him with the skin of your legs, hidden beneath a sheer pantyhose. Or?

No. There's an upper hem of lace- those are just stockings.

"Jungkookie, appa said you'll drive noona home today?" Dae says, now held up on Jungkook's hip, as he looks at Taehyung who laughs.

"Dae, I said I'm gonna ask him if he can drive her home!" He scolds gently. "Hey- sorry, he just runs with whatever he hears." The father tells him, and Jungkook just smiles, shaking his head.

"I can drive her home, no worries." He simply affirms. "It's no problem."

"Taehyung I told you I can go home by myself!" You whine, and Jungkook is intrigued by this seemingly new side of you. He knows you as a little shy, soft spoken, polite. You always greet him when you see him, and you've talked a little bit in his car weeks back- but then again, you only know each other on a very surface level.

He wonders what you're really like.

"And I said you're not driving alone when you're sick." Taehyung threatens, dad-voice coming through as he attempts to push through your clearly stubborn behavior, and Jungkook can't help but watch intently as your eyes roll around, attitude clear as you don't take your friend seriously at all.

"Noona is gonna be a mommy!" Daehyun blurts out to Jungkook, and for a split second, his entire body freezes, blood cooling down to the negatives, bones filling with fear.

He wore a condom- but what if something happened? What if it leaked? Was that even possible? He's not against becoming a father, absolutely not- but he'd like to have a proper relationship for that, a stable one, not something like this.

"Daehyun!" You scold with red cheeks, and Taehyung runs a hand over his face. "Appa just asked me if I was, I'm not!" You whine embarrassed, sighing. "Oh god, guys, please! I'm an adult woman, I'm not sick, I can go home by myself." You complain, walking into the kitchen, presumably to escape the pressuring situation.

"She threw up earlier, that's why I asked her. Dae must've heard me." Taehyung says, after averting his son's attention back to the TV in the living room, where his favorite show plays. "She refuses to see a doctor for it. But you look like you've seen a ghost-" Taehyung teases, before his eyes sharpen. "…could it be that the mention of her becoming a mommy made you worry?" He pokes, and Jungkook furrows his brows, averts eye contact. "Holy shit, you two!?" He hisses, and Jungkook groans.

"Shut up, it was nothing." He simply says, while Taehyung's eyes widen in a scandalized manner.

"Nothing?! Jungkook, where is that nothing?" He argues, surprisingly sternly. "I'll drive her home."

"You're acting like I forced myself onto her-" Jungkook sighs, but Taehyung shakes his head. "Taehyung, you heard her. She's an adult woman, she can decide things herself." Jungkook defends you. "I'll drive her home, and I'll text you once she's dropped off." He says, before he walks into the kitchen where you're filling up a glass with water.

"Oh god that was embarrassing." You whine into your hands, before you shake your head. "He acts as if I'm dying any second whenever something's up." You mumble, drinking from your glass. He can see you're a bit less energetic- hand a bit shaky as you drink.

"He worries." Jungkook offers, leaning against the counter next to the fridge, across from you. "And you should go see a doctor if you don't feel well." He scolds, and yet again, you roll your eyes.

"And you should try and work on your facial expressions, mister." You huff. "I could see the panic a mile away when Dae said I'm pregnant." You bite, making him tilt his head a little "Either way, I'm fine. I can't afford to call in sick right now or my landlord will kick me out the minute my rent is late again." You laugh a little bitterly, finishing your water before you rinse the glass in the sink.

"Do you not get paid a regular salary each month?" He wonders. You shake your head.

"I do, but it's the monthly bonus that keeps me afloat." You explain. "And I only get that one if I'm not sick and bring appropriate numbers to the table." You sigh. "My landlord just searches for a reason to kick me out, I'm sure." You mumble as you dry your hands.

"How come?" Jungkook asks.

"I didn't want to go out with the guy." You shrug, not looking at him. "I like older men, but sixty? No thanks.." You huff, turning around to look at a smug looking Jungkook, his arms crossed.

"Would've never guessed." He tells you in a cocky manner, and you cross your arms to mirror his position in an exagerated manner.

"I would've probably let you screw me if you were younger too." You respond.

"Oh?" He raises his brows. This is oddly fun. "Were you that needy?" He teases, and suddenly, your eyes soften quite a bit, scaring him.

"No." You shake your head. "Guess you were just that charming." You shrug.

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"If your job pays that awful, why not change it?" Jungkook wonders as he maneuvers out the parking lot, leaving Taehyung's home behind after Daehyun had gone to bed.

You shrug.

"I'm lucky I got accepted in this one." You say. You're tired- it's obvious to him. "I dropped out of school too early. Now I'm facing the consequences- and honestly, it's not that bad either. I get by, and it's a quiet life I'm living, which is nice." You offer.

"Do you not have any ambitions?" He asks, relaxed now that he knows you're not one to be overly sensitive when it comes to more personal topics like that. You don't try to read between the lines where there's most of the time nothing at all to find.

"Its not like I don't have any ambitions." You respond, neither denying nor confirming. "It's more that I realized some of those ambitions were.. unrealistic. So I instead pursued what was." You shrug. "Nothing too deep. It's.. part of growing up, I guess." You explain.

Growing up. Talking to you, right now, truly does remind him of that. Almost two hands between you both in years, but you're awfully matured in the way you think at its core. You just have a softer shell around it, your opinions can still move, your mind still has some sort of wiggle room.

His doesn't. He makes decisions and sticks by them, most of the time. He doesn't like change, he enjoys his routine, keeps everything in order most of the time- until now.

Because you're definitely a decision he keeps bending around.

"How much is your rent?" Jungkook asks, and you look at him from where you're leaning against the car's window, an amused expression on your face.

"Why? You wanna be my sugar-daddy?" You joke, and he shrugs, much to your surprise.

"I don't care what you call it." He simply says. "But if it get's you to take some time and take care of your health, I can take care of a month's rent." He offers.

"I don't like that." You respond.

"I know." He laughs. "I've come to learn that you don't like accepting help. But it's something you can't avoid at times." He explains to you. "I'm just offering help. Whether or not you take it, is up to you." He shrugs.

"Why would you do that?" You wonder, suspicious.

"Because Taehyung worries about you. And Daehyun would be terribly upset if something was to happen to you." He admits. "I don't know you well enough to say that I'm doing this for you- so I'll be honest. I do this mostly for them." He says.

You nod. You like this- that he's actually telling the truth, instead of trying to woo you into something.

"Alright." You sigh, tired. "I'll.. text you?" You wonder, and he nods.

"I have your number from Taehyung already." He chuckles. "I just didn't have a reason to reach out yet." He admits.

You just nod, eyes falling shut for longer he notices.

You must be working hard if you're this exhausted. He really hopes you'll take care of yourself after he helps you sort everything out.

Hopefully his help is enough.

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He's lost control over the situation. How can this happen a second time?

He's been texting you these past few days, especially after you've finally took some time off of work to sort out your doctor's visits, having received some medication to finally help you resolve your issues.

He's not sure why he keeps coming back to you. And he's especially not sure how the hell he managed to get himself caught up in a situation like this twice, especially after Taehyung had been clearly upset about the first time.

There's something about you he can't really pin-point. It's both scary, and exciting.

You're kneeling on a small heart-shaped pillow from your small couch, hands occupied and slicked up with your own spit as you caress his length, head of it warm inside your mouth as you lick and suck. You've offered, and he assumed it to be a joke- but the moment you got down between his legs, all of his usual control over things went out the window. He might appear to be the one in charge, right in this moment, but he's truly at your mercy.

It makes him anxious. This shouldn't be happening.

But he can't deny the appeal of you taking care of him so well- it feels scarily intimate to have you between his legs like this, eyes closed as you seem to enjoy yourself, mostly due to his own hand reaching out to run his fingers through your hair, brushing it out of your face and taking the chance to offer some form of affection before he collects your hair in his fist for a second, long sigh escaping him as he feels the tip of your tongue push against the head of his cock, dipping into the small point, before you adjust your legs, letting go of him for just a second to lick from the base to the very tip once more.

You're a succubus, hidden behind a pretty face and sinful body.

He's not sure what your motivation is, hasn't really figured it out for the first time either. There's this little devil on his shoulder constantly urging him to accept your advances and let himself go, but the angel is louder, and keeps on feeding him doubts about the whole thing. He's consumed by his work, he doesn't have time for you, he can't offer you what you might want from a relationship. He doesn't even know if he himself is ready for something like that- he knows he should be, considering how long ago his divorce had been finished, but it's still odd to think about it. He's scarred by what went down, and doesn't want to go through this again.

He can handle being hated by one person he used to love. He wouldn't be able to have two doing the same.

It made him wonder if he's even someone worthy of having a relationship. Does he have enough to offer you that's not physical or monetary? No. He doesn't have time, he's awkward as hell, he doesn't like parties and rather enjoys laid back vacations somewhere no one knows him- if he even takes one at all. He wants a quiet life-

A quiet life?

'it's a quiet life I'm living, which is nice.'

Maybe it's your hands on his cock, the back of your tongue over his tip, or the way your fingers suddenly move to massage his balls just right- but he's facing this horribly ironic moment of both pleasure and realization at the same time as his cum shoots into your mouth, lips sealed over the head to suck him for all he's got. His hand keeps pushing your head, fingers digging into your hair, and you moan quietly at the faint sting of it.

His head rests back on your couch. His hand loosens, letting you go, while his eyes stay closed, breath deep and uneven as he tries to calm himself. He doesn't even realize how you tuck him back into his underwear as he softens, though you leave the fly and belt untouched, instead moving to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.

You wait. For what? You're not sure.

"I.." He starts, taking in a deep breath, a hand through his hair trying to sort him out again. "..you.."

"Was it good?" You wonder almost innocently, watching him amused.

He nods. "Very." He simply answers, brain dumb. He hates this.

"Nice." You smile, before you move to put the little pillow back on the couch. "Do you wanna.. leave right now? Or stay for coffee?" You wonder, treating this all way more casual than he is. He's not sure what to do. But he knows you need to talk about this.

"Can you come here for a second?" He asks, and you nod, putting down the mug you got out of the pantry, making your way over to him to sit on the couch next to him. "I hope you know this isn't.. needed. I honestly just wanted to help you out with rent." He urges, and you nod.

"I know." You say, making him feel a bit lighter. "Was that.. not something you wanted?" You worry, but he shakes his head.

"I'm.. I'll have to be honest here." He sighs, having closed his pants and adjusted himself prior already, not leaning forwards with his elbows on his knees. He can't look at you- not if he wants to be honest and straight forward. "I'm not sure." He offers. "I think it's clear that there's an attraction going on- but I don't know how far this can go."

"I'm not in love with you or anything." You defend yourself. "Neither do I have a crush. I just like you." You shrug.

"That's good." He nods to himself. "It's good that you know that. That you... can distinguish it."

"I think your problem might have something to do with.. my age?" You wonder, and Jungkook turns his head towards you, eyes staying on your knees however. "Yoongi mentioned something once. That he has a friend who has some sort of mid-life crisis right now and thinks he's too old for everything." You giggle.

"And how do you know that would be me?" He calls you out a little offended.

"Because it just fits." You laugh. "You play around with Dae all the time, but the second someone watches you, you become all awkward. It's kinda sad." You admit.

"How so?" He wants to know.

"Because it's dumb." You say, leaning back against your couch.

"Maybe for you. But when you're my age-" He starts, and you suddenly start to laugh, cutting him off.

"See! That's how I know you're the one with the crisis!" You joke, hand hitting his shoulder playfully, and without any intention to hurt. "I'm not a kid. I can make my decisions just fine." You say.

"And your decision is?" He wonders, now looking at you.

"That I want to get to know you." You tell him. "I want to.. see where it goes." You offer.

"What if it goes nowhere?" He argues. "I can't promise you some fairytale love-story." He denies. "I'm divorced, I want children at some point, I don't like parties, I work long hours-"

"But that's stuff that we can work out, no?" You wonder. "Time is what you're scared of, right? Then how about this-" You say, suddenly sitting on your knees, body facing his. "Every day you're not trying is a day you could be spending in a more productive way. For example, by getting to know me. Trying out if your idea of a relationship aligns with mine, if your work schedule is too packed, all of that." You offer. "Right now, we could already be talking about more interesting things than the 'what-if'. Or, in your big-man-terms:" You joke, leaning closer to him. "You're wasting time."

"Have you ever considered a career in communication-training?" He chuckles, shaking his head. "You're awfully great at this." He praises, making you giggle.

"Nah, I like my normal nine-to-five." You say. "Even if it barely pays enough."

"Well I heard someone's taking care of rent at the moment." he offers, reaching out to tuck some hair behind your ear.

"Well, only for a month, so that's a bummer." You shrug, leaning into his hand now holding your cheek.

"..I'm not used to being in a relationship." He sighs.

"We can start just being friends." You respond.

"I think we're a little past the general boundaries of friendship." He chuckles.

"Then friends who occasionally have sex." You roll your eyes.

"That's not very romantic." He argues.

"You can fuck me with music in the background?" You joke, and he shakes his head, laughing.

You're truly far more than he thought you are, and he's not sure if he's worth your time. But he wants to be. Looking at you, right now, he wants to be worth it. He wants to put the effort into it, even if it doesn't work out in the end. He wants to try- so that even if you don't fit, you at least had some good memories together that were worth the time spent.

He wants to try.

Even if it's a mistake.

[hateblackies]

late night talks

"Loves dumb. People get too caught up in it. They forget who they are chasing that feeling," a young Gojo Satoru said, twirling a pen carelessly in his hand as he sat in his study chair, looking into your eyes through the reflection of the window. When he saw you weren’t replying, he continued.

“People die. What then? Chase after the void they left? Yeah, right," he scoffed. It perturbed you despite the gravity of the words he was saying, he seemed so brash.. so eager, and so careless.

"Love is natural," you said, holding a pillow close to your chest as you sat on his bedside. Satoru turned his chair, watching you snuggle up to the pillow. He rolled his eyes, then looked back in the direction of the window, with a pout that was meant as humor.

"What..?" you said quietly, your eyebrows furrowing, clutching the pillow harder. He turned his head over the headrest and smirked at you “You’re hugging that pillow as if it were your lifeline.”

He leaned back, propping himself up with his hands behind his head. “That thing isn’t going to love you back, you know...” he snickered. “Oh, shut up!” you said in annoyance, throwing the pillow at him from across the room now.

He caught it with one hand, his eyes narrowing. “Oh wow, you’re really mad, huh?” he teased. His lips tugged into a smirk, and he raised his eyebrows. “Someone’s jealous of a pillow?” he asked dramatically, now holding the pillow close to his chest himself.

As much as she wanted to leave his room, she couldn’t bring herself to. She stayed sat on his bed, arms now crossed. She was silent for some time. “If there was no love, we’d all be empty, soulless people,” she whispered beneath her breath. Satoru hated the gushiness.

“If there was no love, there would be no pain,” he countered, still staring at you with soft eyes and an amused look. Satoru wasn’t trying to start an argument at all; he just wanted to see how she would respond.

Her eyes widened. Her breath got stuck in her throat with his sharp words. “That’s.. not true.” He furrowed his eyebrows in curiosity at her response.

“How is it not? How could someone suffer the pains of loving someone so much you can’t see them leave-” He was caught off guard by being interrupted.

“I won’t leave,” she blurted out, suddenly clasping her hands over her mouth at her words, her face reddened. He tilted his head, confused and amused at your sudden outburst.

“Eh?” he said, smirking. He kept his gaze on you expectantly, and raised a brow. He was a dumb teenager. He didn’t understand girls.

She dug her head into her hands now looking down, not saying another word. He was silent for some time. Probably thinking about Pokémon, or something.. by now.

“Why… why aren’t you saying anything?” she said softly, eyes now peeking over her arms, observing him. “Hm? What am I supposed to say?” he asked, keeping a straight face.

She huffed. Maybe an ‘I won’t leave you either’? she thought, but heck, she knew he wouldn’t commit to that. “You’re trying to be a smart ass.” She said.

He laughed, this time genuinely. “Am I?” he said with a cocky undertone.“Besides. Did you seriously expect me to say something mushy like ‘I’ll be with you forever’ type of thing?”

“Especially not to you…” he said with a cheeky grin. His statement was half-true and half-sarcastic; It’s just what he did, but he was serious in a sense; he wasn’t the type of person who would just go around saying romantic stuff. He liked to show rather than say when it came to things like love. And besides, he wasn’t the type to be able to commit to such a thing. He was Gojo Satoru.

“Maybe.. I did.” She said softly, trying to hide her evident frustration in him as she propped herself off his bed, taking steps toward the door.

He stared at her in utter amusement. He crossed his legs and watched her walking toward the door. “Aww, Going already?” he said as he heard the door shut closed, He thought they were having a good time; her leaving was a little surprising to him, despite the way he’s acting. Oh well.

“hm. girls are weird.”

[infiniteorangethethird]

Every time I see a description of autistics and their routines, esp ones aimed to make allistics understand better, I feel like my experiences as an actually autistic person are completely misrepresented by it. And it's entirely possible that it's just me always finding posts that weren't meant for me specifically, but I've never found anyone talk abt autistic routines and be like "yep, that's me, that's how routines feel to me".

It sometimes feels like that even the most well-meaning of posts or articles or whatever boil down to the idea that, at the end of the day, an autistic person's routine doesn't serve any "real" purpose. That routines are just what we got used to over time, and as such they bring us familiarity and comfort, but beyond that familiarity and comfort they are senseless and pointless. That you should respect an autistic person's routine (so long as it's not harming anyone) - despite it being obviously nonsense.

And to be clear, I don't think there's anything wrong with routines "just" for the sake of familiarity and comfort, and I do agree that you should respect ppl's boundaries even if they don't make sense to you. This isn't the problem. My issue is that every time I take a look at my own routines, I could take each and every part of it and tell you exactly what specific purpose it serves and why it cannot be removed without serious negative consequences.

For example. I tend to eat at the same times every day, because my body sucks at telling me properly when I'm hungry and sticking to time instead of bodily sensations allows me to ensure I eat properly. I always go through my morning routine the same way because "morning routine" is a lot easier to remember than remembering each and every element of getting ready, individually, every morning. I take the same route to work every time because paying attention to my surroundings is extremely taxing, and walking the familiar path lets me turn off my mind and let my instincts instead of conscious decisions direct me.

And this perspective changes why I might be upset about changes in routine as well. It's not just upsetting because it's unfamiliar and scary, it's upsetting because the consequences can be downright painful. If I don't eat on time I might forget to eat at all and could end up in a too-hungry-to-eat spiral that can take days to escape. If my morning routine is messed with I am almost certain to forget at least one step of it, which, depending on the step, can mess with my entire rest of the day (for instance, forgetting to pack my bottle and not being able to drink as a result).

So much of the advice I see floating around regarding these routines seems to be of the belief that they don't actually stem from anything besides habit, and as such the negative reaction to deviation from these routines is purely emotional (and irrational). Even in the better cases that don't just outright dismiss this emotional reaction as something to be ignored, there's still this undertone that the emotional reaction can be culled and autistic ppl can be taught how to be more adaptable and how to let go of these routines, by showing them how to handle the emotional reaction better.

And while I don't necessarily think this is bad advice (it can be really helpful esp as an autistic person to figure out ways to step outside your already rather small comfort zone, so advice like this is actually greatly appreciated), but I really wish there was more acknowledgement of routines that are based on more physical and practical stuff and can't be changed with determination and patience alone. That sometimes the emotional reaction is completely rational and justified, and that some routines can't really be changed without facing some incredibly negative consequences.

[chenfleur]

open the gates, let me in

summary. jeno always seems willing to do anything for you, and it takes a lot of inner nagging for him to finally realize why.

pairing. jeno x y/n ft donghyuck, jaemin

genre. fluff, college au, best friends to lovers

disclaimers. swearing, denial resonates so deeply with me its humiliating

word count. 4.0k

released. 02.05.23

masterlist

For what feels like the nth time this hour, a certain honey-skinned boy shamelessly rolls his eyes at one of his best friends. That title, however, is in serious danger of being revoked if he has to spend one more agonizing second in this store.

"Give me one good reason I shouldn't ditch your ass right now," Donghyuck jeers. His habit of poking his cheek with his tongue shines through as impatience radiates off of his body.

Jeno ignores his complaining, eyes diligently scanning the rows of colourful fragrance bottles.

He's quite overwhelmed. The labels, brands, scents, and undertones—they all mean nothing to him. The only thing he's somewhat familiar with is the brand of the cologne he takes a liking to, but the strong woods and smokes of the men's cologne selection is a distinct opposite of what he’s looking for.

It leaves him to stand cluelessly among the shelves of white flowers and citruses and berries, trying to pick out the combination he thinks you'd like the most.

"Where would you even go? I drove," Jeno deadpans. 

He gently picks up a translucent, pale red bottle. Blood orange and peony.

Popping off the cap, he spritzes a tiny bit on his inner wrist and brings it up close to his nose. The scent is like a punch in the face, leaving him reclining back with a furrowed brow.

Too strong.

"We're going to be late to Jaemin's if you don't hurry the fuck up," Donghyuck says, burning holes through Jeno's skull before letting out a deep sigh.

"Can you just pick one so we can go? We look like fucking idiots here."

Jeno only hums, cracking a small smile.

He couldn't chide him for being wrong—the two of them look very out of place. Their sharp silver jewelry, inked skin, and dazed boyish smiles contrast against the dainty bottles standing atop the soft pink shelves of the women's fragrance section like black on white.

"Firstly," Jeno begins, voice riddled with amusement. "You don't give a fuck about punctuality-"

"Oh look at you, going off with your big words."

Jeno spins around. "Hyuck, you're drinking a matcha frappucino while looking like that."

He points at the green drink the boy was sipping on, the extra whipped cream he asked for contradicting his hard exterior.

Donghyuck scoffs. "Sorry I don't like to drink death in a cup," he drawls, sarcasm dripping off his tongue.

He breaks his glare on the black-haired boy as he sees two girls standing a distance away, his face doing a 180 as he notices them not-so-discreetly staring.

Smirking, Donghyuck confidently throws them a wink. He watches with pride as flattered giggles spill from their lips, before turning back to Jeno, who had picked up another bottle.

"Why are you even doing this?" Donghyuck asks out of genuine curiosity, though it's hidden underneath the guise of annoyance.

"Y/N asked me to."

Here’s some money. Get me something you think I'd like, yeah? you had said. Or something that you'd like. I'll still wear it, I don't care. I trust your judgment.

Donghyuck snorts. "I'm convinced you'd do anything for Y/N," he mutters.

It's an offhand comment, yet it makes the black-haired boy put his tongue between his teeth as a weird, sprawling feeling erupts in his chest.

The thought of why he seemed willing to do anything for you had never occurred to him. Not because the thought had never shown up to the gates of his consciousness—Jeno was uncomfortably familiar with the strange feeling in his stomach when you were around—but because he never let it in.

He doesn't dare to let it in, even going as far as telling it to leave and never return each time it knocks—because if he did, he would spend hours in this perfume section, legs going numb from standing as it invaded and overtook his brain, preventing him from getting anything done.

His eyes land on one last bottle. It's a clear one, with a clean, minimalistic label.

Lazy Sunday Morning. Maison Margiela.

Jeno repeats the action he's done with multiple bottles by now; spritzing the fragrance onto a new, untouched area of his inner arm and bringing it up to smell.

It's soft, it's floral, it's feminine. It infiltrates his senses in the way fresh, cotton bed sheets would. The soft sun after the rain.

It's how you look when he comes over to your apartment unannounced on a random weekend morning: wearing an oversized white shirt and a pair of high-waisted sports shorts.

It's the strawberry lip gloss that always stains your lips. It's your Hello Kitty pillowcase that you wash way more often than Jeno washes his, for which you constantly nag him for being unhygienic.

It's your flushed, red face at parties, your preference for tea over coffee—your smaller, softer hand grabbing his calloused one when he gets nervous.

Jeno thinks it's you, and he hopes you think it's you too.

He slowly turns around to Donghyuck, who's fidgeting with the tattered sleeve of his leather jacket.

"Smell this," he prompts, snapping the brown-haired boy out of his daze.

Donghyuck tugs at Jeno's arm, bringing it up to his face and taking a quick whiff before letting it fall. "Smells nice. I'm sure Y/N will like it. Now let's go," he presses, already taking off towards the exit.

Jeno only shakes his head, gaze falling on the bottle he held in his ring-clad fingers. He thinks it would look nice on your vanity, next to all your other bottles of products.

He doesn't know what they do, but they make you, you.

Donghyuck, whose brown strands are now dyed a refreshing purple, throws his head back howling with laughter as he sees you and Jeno approach the food court table.

He receives several displeased stares from nearby people, but he doesn't seem to care in the slightest, only being able to focus on what Jeno is wearing.

"Oh my fucking god, Jeno," he wails incoherently, pointing at his friend's pants while clutching his stomach. "What- what are those?"

Your choice to wear a pair of light-washed, ripped skinny jeans to come to the mall turned out to be a massive mistake. You're bitter towards the person who first said "beauty is pain" because of how miserably right they are; whose idea was it to make girls' pants so uncomfortable?

The walk across the parking lot to the entrance was enough for your legs to start screaming for relief, resulting in you pleading with Jeno to switch with you.

Jeno drops down into the empty seat next to Jaemin, letting out a deep sigh. He rubs at his temples as Donghyuck's high-pitched, maniacal laughter erratically rings throughout the air.

This is exactly why he was adamant about declining your request; Lee Donghyuck is an entity of pure evil, and Jeno felt the humiliation creeping up on him from behind like a tiger ready to pounce.

But as he always seems to do, he relented.

Now, his sweatpants sit comfortably on your hips, bunching up at your ankles while he wears your jeans, the pant ends stopping halfway up his calves.

"She was chafing," he mutters, referring to you.

Donghyuck laughs loudly and unapologetically, reaching down to poke at Jeno's bare knee through the large rips of the jeans. His actions result in him getting a hard slap on the arm, eliciting a pained "ow!" from him.

You give Jeno a sweet smile, slipping him another whispered apology before feeling a gentle tug at your wrist.

Renjun begins to drag you away from the table, mumbling something along the lines of "new premium watercolour set" and "20% off". Jumping up from his seat, Donghyuck follows suit with a devilish smile etched on his face, immediately asking the shorter boy to buy him a vinyl he had his eye on from earlier.

Jaemin watches as the three of you fade into the crowd of customers, leaving only him and Jeno at the table. As soon as you disappear from his sight, he whips around with anticipation. "So?"

A shaky blink. "So..?"

"So? Have you thought about what I said?"

Jeno doesn't respond as he stills, his lips pursed carefully.

Of course he had thought about what Jaemin said.

He tried his goddamn hardest not to, just like he has with every other possible reasoning behind his feelings that wandered into scary, uncharted territory—but how could he not? It wasn't something that he could just forget, like remembering to wash his socks or buying milk.

A week ago, Na Jaemin had brought upon him a revelation that was far too casually dropped at one of the group's regular get-togethers. It was like a silent bomb, and it had been doing no less than eating at him alive.

He wants to deny it so badly. In fact, that's exactly what he's been doing—denying its possibility of being true, denying its existence at all.

If it was going to slip through the cracks of the iron gates, Jeno was going to make sure it felt as unwelcome as possible.

And that's exactly what he does.

"I have," he begins meekly.

Upon hearing these words, Jaemin's lips stretch into a wide smile. "And?"

"...and I don't think you're right."

The lights in the younger's eyes flicker out just as quickly as they turned on. He doesn't even bother to hide his disappointment, giving his best friend a deadpan stare. "Are you serious?"

"Yes."

He was expecting this reaction from Jaemin, but he couldn't let it get to him. Not when he couldn't let the narrative Jaemin was pressing so adamantly a week ago be true.

A loud sigh rips through the air. "Jeno, why are you so in denial?"

"I'm not in denial. It's not true."

Jaemin leans forward, looking into his best friend's eyes. He could tell there was a deep, buried sense of longing behind those dark irises.

"Lee Jeno," he begins slowly.

"I have known you nearly my entire life. I have been by your side since we were puny, disgusting first graders, and I have never seen you be so caring towards someone."

Jaemin has always doted on you.

He reminds you of a worrying mother; a fairy who is always there to remind you to dress warmly and take your vitamins. When you had a fever, Jeno had knocked on the door of your apartment only to be let in by Jaemin, who had been in your kitchen making his mother's soup recipe for you.

Donghyuck is the playful, sarcastic brother you never had.

He's the one who always encourages you to down another shot, to get you to do crazy things like jumping off the roof into a pool. But he's warm when he needs to be; Jeno had walked in one night through the door of his and Donghyuck's shared apartment to find you dumping your emotions onto the honey-skinned boy's shirt as he whispered words of consolation.

Renjun indulges your passionate side.

You share so much in common with him and you value his opinion like a sacred script. He's your 3AM therapist for your woes, he's your debate opponent for any topic—he's the one who encouraged you to chase after your dreams when you had trouble deciding on whether to choose what your parents wanted for you, or what you wanted for yourself.

Jeno thinks he's just Lee Jeno to you. 

The captain of the basketball team you met back in junior year of high school, who’s an architecture major at the same university you go to. Your best friend, but only if you thought so.

When it's about the others, Jeno seems to see everything—how they care for you, in what ways they’re integrated into your life—he doesn’t seem to notice how much he cares for you. 

He doesn't think about how sometimes, he miraculously finds himself entering your apartment at the crack of dawn to remind you to bring an assignment that's due that day. And when you knock your hand against his, silenting asking for him to hold it, he’ll reluctantly put his cold, mysterious image aside to gently slip his hand into yours.

There was one time when you asked to go stargazing in the dead of the night. Despite the subzero weather outside, not an ounce of regret coursed through his body when he agreed to go with you.

He couldn’t feel his fingers when he was out there, but it didn’t feel like it mattered when he saw you pointing at constellations with a smile of pure euphoria painted on your features.

He doesn’t notice how you notice that he cares.

The way your eyes lit up when he quietly entered your room with medicine and a hot water bottle went unseen by him. You never told him that Renjun was only half of the reason why you chose to pursue art, and that seeing him choose architecture over the path his own parents wanted for him pushed you over the edge.

He seems to remember you curled up to Donghyuck's side, but not how as soon as you saw him walk through the doorway, you gently peeled yourself up from the couch, out of Donghyuck's hold to throw yourself onto him, because you had come to their apartment looking for him. For his hold, for his comfort.

No, he doesn't notice these things because he's selectively blind when it comes to the possibility of there ever being a 'you and him', and it drives Jaemin nuts.

Jaemin laughs, dumbfounded. 

"For fucks sake, Jeno," he exclaims, dragging his hands down his face. "You're literally wearing women's jeans right now."

He removes his hands from his face, staring deeply into his best friend's eyes in a last-ditch effort to get through to the stubborn boy.

"You're in love with her."

"I'm sorry."

At this point, you’ve lost track of how many times those two words had left Jeno's lips.

The party downstairs blares in the background, though it’s muffled by the closed door. Jeno’s murmured apologies are the only sounds that fill the air, other than the squelches of water as you squeezed your shirt in the sink. 

You turn your head around to look at him, a soft smile tugging at your lips. He’s sitting on the edge of the acrylic bathtub, sliding his rings up and down his fingers with a distant look on his face.

"Stop apologizing. It's okay."

Despite graduating two years ago, Johnny Suh still parties like it’s his full-time job, and being in his second-floor bathroom makes the room feel like it’s a physical manifestation of his spirit.

There’s two lights above the bathroom mirror, though one of them had blown its fuse. It casts a dim, aquamarine light that reaches every corner of the small room, highlighting the slightly frayed shower curtains and dark crevices of the floor tiles. There’s a few shaving products and the remains of a half-smoked blunt strewn across the surface of the otherwise clean countertop.

The reason why you and Jeno are in the bathroom instead of downstairs isn’t one the boy’s proud of. 

You didn’t run into Jeno until around halfway through the night. They say you haven’t had the real college experience if you haven’t gone to a Johnny Suh party, and the flocks of people that covered every part of the estate prove how much people value getting their tuition’s worth.

A light sheen of sweat is apparent on your forehead as you try your best to weave your way through the masses. You don’t even know where you’re going, and you could feel it growing stuffier as more people spilled into the halls.

It’s only until you suddenly feel a piercing cold sensation on your chest do you see something other than drunk college students pressed together.

You come face-to-face with Lee Jeno, who’s staring at you with big, round eyes and lips parted in sheer horror.

You glance down at your own body. The center of your chest is several shades darker, a large wet splotch prominently standing out against the beige fabric of your long-sleeved top. 

Your eyes dart between your top and Jeno’s red solo cup that had several droplets of liquid dribbling down its side. Realizing what just happened, you can’t help but laugh.

“Why hello to you too, mister,” you say between giggles.

Jeno’s face is flushing redder by the second, and there’s a big bump on his head from the imaginary hammer that struck him for being so stupid. 

A few seconds go by of just him staring at you before stutters spill from his lips. 

“I- Oh my- oh my god,” he breathes out. “Oh my fucking god, Y/N, I’m so sorry-”

“It’s okay. I needed an excuse to get away from all the noise anyways,” you cut him off, reaching for his free hand. 

“Come with me to the bathroom?”

The words flow out of your mouth like a smooth, running stream; casual, and far more relaxed than the jittery feeling in Jeno's stomach. He doesn’t resist in the slightest, the feeling of your touch sending a surge of electricity up his arm.

Finally looking up from the metal around his fingers, Jeno’s breath hitches.

His eyes trail down your figure with innocent intention. The thin straps of your ivory, silk camisole delicately sit on your collarbone, your black miniskirt hugging your waist. 

He doesn’t realize he’s even staring, not when he’s mesmerized by the slope of your nose, or the outline of your cupid’s bow.

There’s something that the aquamarine glow is doing to you that makes his jaw go slack.

Usually, he’d be alert, keeping his thoughts in check—but the slight intoxication seeped through him, and he can feel himself growing careless.

Jeno's hand twitches. You're within arm's reach, he could reach for your waist and pull you right into him—but he doesn't, because that would ruin the scene.

This scene of you standing in front of the sink, twisting your shirt in your hands with a small crease in your brow. It's so domestic, so perfect—he can't help but wonder what it'd be like to see you like this every day—

—and then, he hears it.

There it is, the violent banging on the gates. It echoes through the halls from outside, persistent and maybe just a bit desperate. Or, was it actually his heart thumping against his chest?

Open up! it yelled. You would do anything for her. You're in love with her, idiot!

Had it been his heart all along?

"There we go," you give your top one final twist, grinning with satisfaction as the water drips down clear.

You turn the sink off and unravel the top from its scrunched-up form, flapping it a few times to prevent creases.

"That should do it. Okay, let's go back downstairs. Hyuck bet ten dollars I couldn't beat him in beer pong and I'm going to make him eat his wor-"

Your rambling is cut off as soon as you turn toward the boy on the edge of the tub. He's staring at you with misty eyes, and you can't stop yourself from taking a step closer.

"Jeno?" you call, leaning down to meet him at eye level.

Eyes twinkling with mirth, you lower yourself into a crouching position, and your hand finds its place on his knee. You let your fingers drum on the fabric of his black jeans, musing your wonder.

"You're drunk, aren't you? How much have you had to drink?"

The action is mindless, and Jeno knows it. The two of you often shared small, habitual touches—but this time, it's wholly different.

"I'm- I'm not drunk," he croaks out.

A light-hearted snicker. "Sure you aren't."

"I'm not."

"Then why is your face so red?"

"I'm just... thinking about something."'

An amused chuckle leaves your mouth before you muse your wonders, "You're drunk, Jen. But, would you care to share?"

Jeno feels himself unclicking the locks. "Okay," he huffs out nervously.

The iron gates swing slightly ajar.

"I'm thinking about how I would do anything for you."

A pause goes by. The sound of the music downstairs seems to have gotten even louder, to the point where Jeno can't hear his own breathing. He wonders if he's even still breathing as his gaze rests on you intensely, waiting for your reaction.

When your fingers stop drumming against his knee, Jeno's world stops.

"O-oh."

Your expression is indecipherable as his words sink in, eyes growing rounder and your lips part.

Your eyes dart around Jeno's face to see if you can locate a trace of playfulness, a hint that he wasn't thinking straight—and while his flushed, rosy cheeks are a telltale that he's a little intoxicated, his eyes are heavy with sincerity.

He's being serious, and it brings you to a loss for words.

"A-and? What did you conclude?" you manage to stutter out, peering up at him.

This is exactly what he was afraid of. Afraid of your disappointed expression, your lips ready to utter the inevitable words he wished he'd never have to hear.

He's not even sure what those words exactly are, because Lee Jeno feels like a fucking mess right now, but he'll know in a few seconds after you say them—

"I... I don't really know why..."

A lightbulb clicks in your head. You seem to realize Jeno's implications before he even does himself.

"Jeno?" you prompt, voice feather-soft.

The boy's eyes are screwed shut by now, unable to look you in the eyes. He's trying to lock the gates closed again, as they were for so long.

"Hmm?" he weakly hums.

"I love you."

Jeno's attempts are futile. The thought is victorious.

It pushes past his regret-driven efforts. It floods his head akin to a raging tsunami.

It's so loud. The music in the background is so loud.

You are so loud. Your eyes, your grip on his knee, your words—

—they're so loud.

She just said she loves me.

"I've loved you for so long. Do you love me too?" you whisper, hand subconsciously reaching for his.

It shocks Jeno how his voice doesn't fail him. "You love me?"

"I do."

"M-more than a friend?"

"Much more. I love you like I'll never have you, even if I always find myself in your arms," you say, letting out a dry chuckle as a small smile graces your face.

"Do you love me too?" you repeat.

The gates snap off their hinges from the sheer force, and the thought chants a victory song—

You're in love with her!

Jeno blinks.

I'm in love with her.

Jeno never seemed to mind, when it came to you. He never seemed to mind wearing your light blue skinny jeans for you, and he never seemed to mind looking out of place with his grungy demeanor inside of a delicate perfume section either. He never seemed to mind waking up at an ungodly hour for you, and he never seemed to mind holding you when the world was against you.

And as you look at him, your face glimmering underneath the dim, bathroom light—it clicks.

Jeno suddenly realizes why he'd be willing to do anything for you. He'd be willing to get you the moon and the stars if you asked, because he loves you.

And, because you deserve it. It's the least he could do for you for loving him.

Reaching out a wavering hand, Jeno gently pulls you up from your crouching position so the both of you could stand. Your gaze never leaves him, your previous question still hanging in the air.

The boy rests his hand delicately on your jaw. His eyes glaze over your face, taking in your beautiful features before landing on your lips with a shaky exhale.

"Do you love me too?" you ask for a third time, your irises shining with hope.

"Fuck," he breathes out. "I- I do. I love you, so much."

You don't even get the chance to beam at his confession before he closes the distance between the two of you, his soft lips against yours.

[pitchblackespresso]

I feel like I'm on r/OffMyChest, but there's something I've been meaning to say for some time

I dislike the Zonai

Their execution was lackluster (there's some interesting stuff, but the environmental storytelling is too sparse and inconsistent for any sort of coherent theory-crafting), but what I despise the most is how they're retroactively shoehorned into botw's worldbuilding

The Sheikah tech ? Heavily implied to be a derivative of the Much Superior Zonai tech

Hyrule Castle? Was built to honour Rauru's sacrifice

Calamity Ganon? Leaked gloom-turned-malice from dehydrated Ganondorf's seal

Temple of Time? The ~original~ was Zonai-made

Typhlo Ruins? Actually Hylian made, but to honour the great King Rauru (again)

Rauru himself is Zelda's ancestor (and implied source of her sealing powers, retconning the Triforce)

The Forgotten Temple? Also Zonai and used by King Rauru to hide the Secret Stones

Ancient Hero? Some kinda Zonai hybrid creature

This narrative of "everything was the Zonai/Rauru all along" is one I don't vibe with, because not only does it give inconsistent backstory to things that didn't need it, but they then left us with more questions than answers due to just how little we actually know about the Zonai.

I also wanna mention how much I dislike the Gacha machines that dispense the complete eyesore that are the Zonai devices. They're a fun enough gameplay concept (tho I don't personally like it), but it makes no sense how you get functioning hydrants or rockets out of gachapons. The Sheikah tech was given ample backstory, and clashed with Hyrule's otherwise rugged wilderness for thematic reasons. The Zonai tech is just kind of an ugly reminder that this is a videogame, and that you get these pre-made devices because the devs wanted to make a sandbox, regardless of whether it fits in this medieval high fantasy setting with serious undertones and environmental storytelling. And since they're branded as Zonai-made, they add to my discontent with the Zonai

I love this game, and it's done so much right (even tho some people might say otherwise), but I cannot bring myself to enjoy much of anything related to the Zonai, which, despite being barely in the game, play a huge role in the story, environment and worldbuilding

[writersblog20]

Pancakes and a Milkshake

Pedro Pascal x reader

Summary: When everything gets a little bit too much and you have a slight moment of crisis, Pedro comes to the rescue with pancakes and a milkshake. Who would’ve thought what pancakes and milkshakes could bring you

Warnings: mention of anxiety and stress, edibles and smoking weed, reader gets picked up in her sleep by Pedro, vomiting because of stress, mention of a nightmare, calming medication

Words: 3,6K

A/N: So this is actually happening and I just can’t…. I need Pedro to take me out for pancakes and a milkshake and comfort me because I don’t know how I’ll survive on Monday. Please wish me luck and pray for me that I won’t make a fool out of myself

Pancakes and Milkshakes🥞🍨

To say you were stressed was an understatement. You were in the midst of exams and school made it way more troubled than it had to be. For example, they just told you that you had to have a conversation with an potential client from the branch where you wanted to go in. So you had to ask your boss, the one you unfortunately fell in love with. You had to choose him because that would be the most obvious decision and it would help you with your grade.

But now you were panicking and stressing about it for obvious reasons. For starters, you weren’t only dealing with the stress and anxiety about your oral exams but also the stress and anxiety with seeing your boss again, for the first time in a very long time, knowing that those feelings come rushing back and you really weren’t waiting for that.

Anyway, the point is, you were beyond exhausted and stressed yourself out to no point. Pedro saw it and wanted to help you but you shut yourself off. You were even counting the days. If it was just an oral exam with your teacher you wouldn’t have 90% of the stress that you were experiencing now.

Pedro stayed with you for a while so he could film in the location without renting a house. You and Pedro met on a set where you helped your uncle and you both hit it off right from the bat. You have never felt comfortable so fast with someone you just met. So when days passed and Pedro told you about the terrible place he was renting, you offered him a room in your house. Pedro didn’t want to be a burden so with some back and forth, you finally convinced him that he wouldn’t be a burden and that you would actually enjoy some company.

So that’s how we got to this point. You and Pedro had some amazing days already. You cooked together, watched some sitcoms and movies that he wanted you to see and it was just amazing. You couldn’t explain how you felt so incredibly comfortable around him. Yeah he definitely deserved the title zaddy from the internet.

So today was a lazy day. But as the days grew closer, the higher your anxiety and stress got to you. You weren’t sleeping well, felt physically sick and drained to the bone. Pedro could see it from a mile away. The bags underneath your eyes and the how much you’ve clenched your jaw that it was even visible when you weren’t clenching. Yeah you were a mess. You did tell Pedro the situation but you couldn’t bring yourself to open up more. That wasn’t because of Pedro. No it was because you didn’t want to say it out loud because if you did, then it would be real so you kept it shut because you really did believe that this was the way to keep in control of the situation when the day would come.

Pedro made some dinner but you really had no appetite. It was silent at the table and Pedro kept a close eye on you while eating the pasta he made and drank some of his wine. “You know what we should do?” he asked you with a smirk on his face and a playful undertone. You looked up and chuckled slightly at his mischievous look. “Edibles….. Or smoke a joint. Doesn’t really matter but why don’t we get high tonight?” he asked you and you chuckled a little, sitting back in your chair, looking at Pedro to see if he was serious, which he was. His face said it all with the raised eyebrow and playful smile on his face.

You looked down and thought about it. “Yeah, why not. At this point I’ll do anything to feel a bit relaxed.” You chuckled. Pedro immediately got a big smile on his face and leaned more forward. “Okay, so I got gummy bears, lollypops, even cotton candy and of course normal weed.” You chuckled. “I’ll think I’ll smoke a joint and maybe take a gummy bear” You told him with a smirk and took a sip of your red wine. Pedro smiled “Alright then.”

After dinner, you cleaned the kitchen since Pedro cooked. He came downstairs with the edible and weed. “You know how to roll sweetheart?” Pedro asked you. You shook your head “No just how to put everything in and crush it but not how to roll.” Pedro nodded with a soft smile “Alright, I’ll show you.” you smiled and nodded. You searched for a vinyl to listen to and put it on the record player. Pedro smiled as he heard the tune. You put some blues on for now and sat next to Pedro.

You had a pretty cozy livingroom to say the least. A lot of things were from wood so it gave a cabin vibe but a bit bigger and a  little more luxurious because of the kitchen and how big your house was. It wasn’t a very big house, more regular but still bigger than a cabin if you know what I mean. The candles illuminated both of your faces while Pedro showed you how to roll a joint. He gave you one so could try it but obviously it wasn’t so  easy the first time and Pedro saw your frustration and chuckled softly, taking it from you. “It’s okay babe, it almost never happens that you get it the first time. It takes practice.” You nodded. You filled the joint and let Pedro roll it so you were still doing something.

You put on the fireplace since it started snowing pretty bad and sat back in your place, your feet up on the table just like Pedro. He gave you a gummy and you clinked it as if it was a wine glass. You both chuckled and ate the edibles before smoking the joint, passing it over to each other. You leaned your head on the couch, looking up at the ceiling. You could already feel some of the tension leave your body and making you feel fuzzy.

You and Pedro started chatting about everything and listening to the music with some laughter in between because of the high. After a while you decided to watch a movie while Pedro lit the other joint. He could see that you were trying to lay down comfortably on the couch but was failing miserably. “Come here, princess. Rest your head on my lap.” He told you softly and scooted closer to you, taking a blanket and a pillow with him. He placed the pillow on his lap as you turned around to lay your head on his lap. When you finally laid down comfortably, he placed the blanket over your body. You held a part of his leg, for some more comfort and Pedro was completely fine with that.

Pedro softly went with his hand over your head and an adoring smile on his face. “This better princess?” You nodded softly, completely relaxed and high at this point. “Yeah, this is very nice. Thank you.” you mumbled a bit and Pedro had that same soft smile on his face. He bended forward a bit so he could place a kiss on your head. Pedro started the movie and now and then passed you the joint. This wasn’t the first time smoking a joint so you knew how much you could take and handle.

Pedro had his arm resting around your body and you felt so safe, relaxed and comfortable with him that you started to feel fuzzy inside and not from the weed this time. Pedro softly rubbed your arm while being glued to the tv. Your eyes started to get heavy and it was a losing battle so you just closed them, falling into a deep slumber.

~time skip~

You woke up from a nightmare and you sat straight up, rubbing your face. You looked around and saw that you were in your room. Pedro must’ve brought you to bed. You were sweating and your breathing was uneven when all the panic and stress started rushing back to you, making you almost sick to your stomach.

You quickly struggled to get out of bed and to the bathroom, clinging to the toilet and threw everything out. This wasn’t new to you. When you were in a serious amount of stress, it would make you physically ill. Once you were done, you flushed the toilet and brushed your teeth before making your way downstairs to get your calming meds.

You went into the kitchen and struggled to search for your meds with shaky hands until you heard Pedro’s voice. “You looking for these sweetheart?” he asked you softly and you quickly looked at him before slowly nodding. He gave them to you with a sad smile. “Where did you get these?” you asked him. “I saw that you placed them in your bag and figured that you forgot to take them out.” You nodded and took them with a glass of water. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?” you asked him softly, feeling guilty.

“Don’t worry about that princess. Let me make you a cup of tea. Go sit on the couch sweetheart.” He told you, making you nod. You made your way to the couch and stared out of your window. The whole city was covered white while more was still falling from the sky. You felt some sort of serenity and calmness floating over you. Snow always had that effect on you.

Before you knew it Pedro sat next to you with the tea. “Thank you P, but you don’t have to stay with me. You need sleep.” You told him, looking at him for a minute and then stared out of the window again. Pedro looked at you in all seriousness. “Y/N, You are more important to me. I’ll stay as long as needed princess. Talk to me.” he told you the last part soft.

You felt fuzzy from what he said to you and you gave him a sad smile but stayed silent. Pedro noticed and nodded before scooping closer to you. “Come here than.” He told you and you were aching for some comfort. Pedro already had his arms open for you as a hint. You climbed over Pedro and sat besides him, your legs over his while the side of your body was tightly against his. His arms wrapped around you. He tucked your head softly underneath his chin and gave a kiss on your head. And that was it. Both staying silent but still he provided all the comfort he could and let’s be real, you really, like really needed this.

You started to calm down a bit. “I’m a bit hungry… but like hungry for fast food…” Pedro suddenly spoke out. You looked up at him confused. “I think we should get some pancakes…. Maybe a milkshake with that?” he hinted with a soft smile. You thought about it and smiled at the idea. “Yeah, that sounds nice.” Your voice so soft that you weren’t sure if he heard you or not. “Okay, let’s get some pancakes, sweetheart. I know I great place that’s open 24/7.” Just with the line “Let’s get some pancakes.” Was an opening to your heart.

You got off Pedro’s lap and stood up. You were wearing an oversized hoodie and joggings, and Pedro was wearing some pajamas with a funny design. You looked down at the two of you. “Don’t worry, we don’t have to change.” You nodded and to be honest, you couldn’t give a fuck about your clothes right now. Pedro smiled and threw his arm around your shoulders, leading you outside and towards his car. You stepped in and now you saw what time it actually was. 2 AM. Pedro noticed and saw how your face fell a bit. “Hey, like I said, you are more important. Besides, I can’t pass up on pancakes with you, are you kidding me?” he made the situation lighter and achieved to get a smile on your face. “Let’s get some pancakes than.” You told him back with a soft but confident smile.

“There’s my girl.” He chuckled, making you smile shyly as he drove off. It didn’t take long to arrive. This was a side of the city that you never really went so seeing this restaurant was a positive surprise. It was like a diner straight from the 80’s. pink everywhere, jukeboxes and everything. You smiled at Pedro who held out his hand for you to grab which you happily applied to do so.

You both walked in, still wearing the pajama’s. It was a sight on its own but you wouldn’t want it any other way. You both sat down in the retro seats. You were happy that they had the lights lower so it gave off a homey and nice vibe.

The waitress walked your way and took your orders. Pancakes and a big strawberry milkshake. When she walked away, Pedro leaned backwards and looked at you. “Princess, I need you to talk to me. bobbling this up, is not going to work. Let me help you carry some of the weight. I might not be able to take it away but then I know how I can help and support you.” Pedro sat more forwards as he took your cold hands in his. Pedro started rubbing them, trying to warm them up. You took a deep sigh and decided to just open up. Maybe it’ll work and if not, then you don’t have that much to lose.

You started telling him about it all. Where it started, what is bothering you right now and what’s going on in your own head. Pedro listened intently to your story, keeping eye contact and held your hands, softly drawing circles with his thumb on the back of your hand. “We’ll get through this and I’ll be besides you with every step. I know it might not help a lot but I want you to know that I am certain that you will nail this. You are too amazing and you are so much stronger than you think. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen you and this… I know this is a big deal right now, but I know that you are going to get through this with a good grade. Otherwise, I’ll come to your school and make a scene.” He told the last part to lift the heaviness off.

You chuckled slightly which left a smile on Pedro’s face. “You know I’ll do it!” he told you, making you laugh, knowing he was serious. You nodded. “I know all of that but it’s just the feelings. Feelings aren’t rational, at least not in this moment.” Pedro nodded. “But this helps.” You told him with a soft smile which he returned. You felt that fuzzy feeling inside again when he smiled at you with those soft kind eyes, his bed hair and his silly pajamas which you actually loved a lot.

You took a deep sigh as your meds started to kick in. You nodded “I got this. I just need to survive the days following up to it.” Pedro smiled. “and I’ll help with that, I promise.” He told you and took your hand to his lips and placed a kiss on them, making you smile.

The food arrived with the milkshake that you and Pedro would share. You giggled at how old fashioned it looked and absolutely loved it. It even had a red cherry on top with some sprinkles on the whipped cream. “This looks amazing.” You told him with a smile and looked him. Pedro had that same mischievous smile on his face as he had before. He opened his palm and you saw two gummy bears. You looked at him with a grin and took one. “Cheers” you said as you clinked the gummy’s together and put it in your mouth, Pedro mirroring you.

You didn’t have to worry about Pedro driving because it would probably kick in when you arrived home. ( Edibles take a while sometimes.) You devoured the pancakes, now realizing how hungry you actually were. Pedro smiled, seeing how content you were. Both giggling while you shared the milkshake. You both joked around a little and you felt the stress lifting off of you. When you were done, Pedro paid while you put your coat on. Pedro came back and had something in his hands which made you curios but he put it behind his back. “It’s a surprise.” He told you with a smile. You knew he wasn’t telling you right now so you let it go. “Thank you P. For everything.” You told him and he smiled. “Everything for my favorite girl in the world.” You felt flustered and saw that Pedro was blushing and had a shy smile upon his lips.

You stepped in the car and instead of driving home, he drove to an empty field. You frowned a bit, not knowing what was going on. You’ve been here a million times before and it was close to your house but you didn’t understand why you were here.

You looked confused at Pedro, who smiled. “I know that the snow relaxes you, so this is the perfect spot to drink our extra Slurpee’s I got and smoke a joint before we go inside.” You smiled brightly. Pedro knew you too well. He gave you a couple cd’s so you could pick out the music while Pedro put his feet up on the dashboard and put the windows just a bit down. It was now a bit past 3AM but you couldn’t explain how much this has helped you. If you were still at home than you were a 100% certain that you would have a panic attack and a really bad one at that.

You both stared at the snow falling down while slurping on the Slurpee’s and sharing the joint while listening to the music. “P…?” Pedro looked at you. “Could you maybe stay with me tonight? In case the nightmares come back?” you asked him softly and he just smiled, kissing the top of your head. “Of course I will princess.” You smiled softly and stared in front of you again.

“You ready to go home?” he asked you as it was 4 AM now. You nodded with a yawn, which made Pedro laugh as he drove the last 3 minutes to your house. He opened the door and you shivered as you walked in the house. “Do you want to sleep here or in your bedroom? I really don’t mind.” You nodded but almost felt guilty. “Can we sleep here?” you asked him, feeling like a burden. “So a sleepover! Of course! I’ll get the pillows and blankets! You search for a good movie okay?” Pedro’s excitement washed away your negative feelings. You loved how childlike he sometimes could be but in a good way.

You put the couch out (you could put it out and make a bed from it). Pedro came downstairs but wasn’t even visible behind all the pillows and blankets. You chuckled and helped him out. You both tried to make the bed but you were both as high as a kite. So try making a bed and not fall into a fit of laughter. Finally, you both got the couch to work as a bed. Pedro swinged his arms up as an achievement which made you chuckle.

You laid down and got the tv remote, Pedro joining you. You both put on a movie that interested you both and when it started, it was time to get comfortable. You turned towards Pedro and he already held his arm up so you could lay down on his chest. You held his pajama tightly in your hand while his arm was wrapped around you, pulling you closer. You watched the movie a bit but felt yourself grow tired again. “Thank you for being my favorite person on this earth.” You told Pedro, who chuckled. “And you too for also being my favorite person princess.” He told you and pressed a kiss on your head, pulling you close and let out a deep sigh from relaxation.

The panic and stress wasn’t going away but with Pedro by your side, you knew it was going to be okay. And maybe now, you didn’t have to worry about the feelings towards your boss anymore because Pedro had your heart in his hands, and you trusted him with everything you got. So in the end, it actually worked out and your negative feelings were reduced and positive feelings got into that place.

You finally fell asleep in Pedro’s arms in a deep, peaceful sleep, feeling as if you were in the safest place on earth. And all of that because of some pancakes and a milkshake. One thing was for sure, the universe has it’s own crazy and funny way of how things would go.

[dudhsd]

The Class 1-A Support Group: Fuck Endeavor Edition

The sun was setting over U.A. High School, casting long shadows across the classroom where Class 1-A had gathered for their usual study session. However, today’s topic was anything but ordinary. The recent broadcast from Touya Todoroki had left everyone in a state of disbelief and anger, and the students were ready to vent.

“Can you believe Endeavor?” Mineta piped up, his usual bravado replaced by genuine disgust. “I know I'm not free of sin, but damn, Endeavor is… y'know, just the worst!”

“Mineta’s right,” Iida said, adjusting his glasses with a serious expression. “Todoroki, I used to have respect for Endeavor, but now he repulses me. I would like to offer my deepest sympathy to you and your family. Except for him, of course.”

“Thanks, Iida,” Shoto replied, his voice flat but with a hint of appreciation.

“It’s clear that Endeavor only changed because his actions came back to him,” Sero added, crossing his arms. His tone was matter-of-fact, but the anger simmering beneath was palpable.

Bakugou, who had been unusually quiet, made a face that was hard to read.

“Tch, if I was law enforcement, I’d tell Shigaraki that his new name is Frida Goman, and Endeavor is no longer Frida Goman,” Kaminari chimed in, trying to lighten the mood.

“Facts, brother!” Kirishima agreed, nodding vigorously.

“How can people say the villains are too far gone and at the same time say that Endeavor is not?” Tokoyami pondered aloud, his dark feathers ruffling slightly.

“Because he’s a hero,” Jirou replied, rolling her eyes. “Man, the world’s so unfair.”

Deku, ever the optimist, chimed in, “You’d expect at least some of the corruption to be solved by the end of the series…”

“Ah- No need to break the fourth wall now, Midoriya!” Iida interjected, a hint of exasperation in his voice.

“I know this sounds weird, but I totally understand why Dabi became a villain!” Kirishima said, his voice filled with empathy.

“Freal!” Kaminari agreed, leaning forward in his seat.

Tsuyu added, “You could’ve ended up like your brother, Todoroki. Ribbit.”

Yaoyorozu nodded thoughtfully. “Shoto… our class has gone through so much that we should all be in therapy, but you especially, because of the abuse and instability in your childhood.”

“If I was Endeavor’s doctor, I would’ve done some… secret mad doctor operations on him, actually,” Kaminari said with a laugh, but there was a dark undertone to his words.

“Haha!” Jirou chuckled, but her laughter faded as she continued. “You’re supposed to be a hero!”

“Isn’t that justice though?” Kaminari replied, a smirk on his face.

“I can’t imagine if that had been my mother he did all those things to… Oh, I would’ve- UGH!” Kaminari exclaimed, his frustration boiling over.

“Honestly, I think I would’ve offed him in his sleep,” Jirou said, her expression fierce.

“Yeah,” Kaminari replied, nodding in agreement.

“If I was Todoroki, I wouldn’t have like fifty pictures of Endeavor that I throw knives at! But then I wouldn’t have fifty pictures of him because they’d be all knifed up,” Jirou said, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Literally!” Kaminari added, his enthusiasm infectious.

“Actually, even though I’m not him, I’m STILL GONNA DO THAT!” Jirou declared, pumping her fist in the air.

“YEAHHHHHH!” Kaminari cheered, the energy in the room shifting to something more lighthearted.

“I must admit, I really only see him as a villain. But that feels like an insult to the villains, because most villains don’t cross… that line,” Tokoyami said, his voice low and serious.

Shoji scoffed, knowing exactly what ‘that line’ meant.

“I’m so forgiving man, like I can forgive anyone, but God, I just can’t bring myself to forgive him!” Kirishima said, his voice filled with frustration.

“I feel the exact same!” Kaminari agreed, the group nodding in solidarity.

As the discussion continued, the students of Class 1-A found strength in their shared feelings, united in their disdain for Endeavor and their support for Shoto. They might not have all the answers, but together, they could face whatever challenges lay ahead.

[emmatgc]

Wonderful World Chapter 11

POWER OVER ME

“What would your Father say? Falling in love with a murderer? So disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself” 

Seon Yul woke up on a rainy night, panting and sweating. It’s been years since his last nightmare but lately, it comes regularly. 

Seon Yul when his father was killed had nightmares almost regularly. When his mother died, it got worse and it only stopped when he met Soo Hyun. Slowly but surely, weirdly so he thought that once he hated Soo Hyun yet he takes comfort with her even with his hatred and revenge tour. It was dark times and he doesn’t want to go back but something is happening now and he doesn’t know why this nightmares are coming back. 

It’s been 6 months since Soo Hyun and Seon Yul became a couple. That fateful night when they were dancing and had their first real kiss, her confessing being in love with him was the start of the new chapter of their lives…together. In those months they dated almost every week, talked over the phone every week, video calling is not Soo Hyun’s type and Seon Yul laughed at her teasing her about her age. “Careful there, Mine..you are exposing your age not liking video calling me or at all”, he said to her. Every 2 weeks Seon Yul goes to the orphanage and spends the weekend there with Soo Hyun’s family. Seon Yul’s favorite though is visiting her in her classes and fetching her. 

Soo Hyun went back to teaching but this time to a public university. She spent 10 years in a private university before her son was killed. Seoul National University wanted her and she agreed. If Seon Yul have his early off, instead of sleeping in their quarters, he goes home, changed and if his time permits, he fetches her. One time, he surprised her with flowers. When she went out to see him, he had this purple bouquet and she was embarrassed as some of her students saw him walking towards her. Some even commented “is that the Professor’s boyfriend? He is so handsome but very young!”. Some had “that look” all too familiar to them of disbelief and maybe some undertone disapproving look, but some only giggled. This comes with the territory, they both knew what they got themselves into. It is a challenge they welcome after all. When he finally reached Soo Hyun, he gave the flowers and she smiled wholeheartedly and gave him a kiss on his cheek. She wrapped her hand to his and they walked towards his car. "How romantic", she thought.

At the hospital, Seon Yul is a rockstar in the making. He got high praises during his internship program in Germany. He observes more and more surgeries now and assist. Somewhere along his work, he remembers Soo Hyun. Her lips and soft hands most especially but he stops himself dwelling on it. It is hard to finally fall in love under this circumstances. They are not secret lovers but they are not entirely open to all, yet. They agreed to take it slow and when someone asks they answer but if none asks, they don’t tell too. “Don’t ask, don’t tell” is somewhat their motto. The hospital doesn’t really know and its not a big deal but sure his best friends and some of his colleagues know already. They are not hiding afterall especially when Soo Hyun comes for a check up once in a while and brings him food. Soo Jin one afternoon saw Soo Hyun waiting at the reception area with a bag. He is guessing food for his boyfriend and his best friend. Dr. Soo Hyun, as he is waiving at her, walking up to her, “it has been awhile”, he said. Soo Hyun stood up and replied “It has been a long time indeed, thank you for watching over Seon Yul”. Soo Jin became stiff and serious as she was being serious he thought and in his mind “my friend can take care of himself actually”, smiling he replied “of course, Doctor, always”. He will be done in a bit. He is in the operating room. “Oh, that’s why he didn’t reply. It was a last minute decision to drove here actually since I have a physical check up and annual routine for my new school and they said to go here. Soo Jin asked “who is your physician , then? She answered “Dr. Tae Oh, I believe”. He smiled a crooked one and said “Oh, Dr. Playboy” Im sorry, its his nickname but he is a very good General Doctor. You are in capable hands just be careful though.

Why? She asked. “He got his eyes transfixed with beautiful women.haha but he gives discounts to them, too so who knows he will give one to you”. They both laughed and a voice behind suddenly appeared “There are other Doctors here you know”. It is Soo Hyun with eyebrows raised. He moved past his friend and went straight to Soo Hyun. He wants to hug her but held back since he wants to thoroughly shower first. “This is for you and your friends, she said while giving the packed food. Seon Yul looked at Soo Jin and said “You shouldn’t habe bothered for them, they are eating just fine”. Soo Jin snatched the food from him and signaled he is going inside now while looking at Soo Hyun and teasing her “remember what I told you on your check up, Goodluck later”. Confused, Seon Yul asked “what was that about? She is smiling and said “Its about Dr. Tae Oh, he said to be careful since this doctor can be very “friendly”. I have been told about this reputation, Seon Yul seriously answered back. What time is your appointment? She replied 1pm. Its about time. I should go now. 

Seon Yul went with her to Dr. Tae Oh’s clinic. He introduced himself and Soo Hyun. 

Dr Tae Oh: Hi Dr. Seon Yul. Dr. Soo Hyun , im looking forward to meet you. Can I tell you a secret? 

Dr. Soo Hyun: Sure 

Dr. Tae OH: I am your biggest fan! I read all your books, I swear! But you know what’s my favorite? 

Dr. Soo Hyun: Do tell. 

Dr. Tae Oh: Your 1st ever book. “Through the looking glass”. 

Soo Hyun was surprised. Her 1st book was a bomb. It failed and it almost didn’t circulated on the book shelves due to bad reviews and low sales. 

Dr. Soo Hyun: I am very flattered, Doctor. Most people don’t know it even existed! I am surprised but thank you! 

Dr. Tae Oh: Really? I bought it right away. It was instrumental in my research back then. Would you mind signing it next time you come back?

Seon Yul can only stand back like an outsider not knowing what they are talking about. Seon Yul only knew 2 books of hers. He clearly saw a genuine smile from Soo Hyun. He feels Tae Oh is reaching and flirting, too. Or maybe he is just over reacting. He is dating a famous person afterall.

Come now, lets get you checked, Dr. Tae oh said. Soo Hyun nodded and Seon Yul touched her hand and said “let me know if your finished, ok?”.  She said “Yes, I will”. 

Tae Oh and Soo Hyun got familiar with each other given the shared history of her long, lost and underrated book that only a few read. She is happy somebody liked it and said it to her face. She agrees with Soo Jin. This Doctor is a charmer. Age in his 40’s like her, dark black hair, good looking but her boyfriend is better she thought ,but going back to her doctor mixed tan color and nice built. No wonder she said, he is a ladies man. After an hour, they said their goodbyes and the results will be emailed as he said. 

Seon Yul never got the chance to meet her again that day since he got called for an emergency meeting with his superiors. Soo Hyun just was happy for her initial results are good and she will just have to wait for the full on results. 

Back home, she was very tired and was about to sleep when Seon Yul called. 

Hey, sorry, are you sleepy already? He asked. “No its ok, Mine. Im still up” she replied. 

Im sorry for this afternoon, I got called for a meeting. “Its ok, don’t worry, I understand”. 

So how was your check up?

It was great! She replied happily. 

You sound so happy there. Did you enjoy Dr. Tae oh’s company? He wanted to take back his words but silly him his words came out out the park immediately without thinking.

Soo Hyun laughed and said “Yes, it was fun. He is a nice guy. Very impressive”. 

Seon Yul sighed. He is somehow perplexed. He had a small groan and he asked “why or how is he impressive”

“Well, a charmer, highly intelligent I can sense and he knew my 1st book! That’s the most impressive part. “

I did not know about that book, he said. Soo Hyun laughed “Of course you didn’t, you were just a child or maybe not even born yet”. 

Silence came over. 

OOppps, Soo Hyun in her mind knew then she must have said something wrong. “Look, Seon Yul, I don’t mean it that way, its just funny to me”. 

Seon Yul didn’t answered back. Soo Hyun knew he was taken aback. “Hey, don’t be mad. It was a joke” 

It’s true though, he replied now. I didn’t know. So, what was the book all about? 

Soo Hyun smiled over the phone and happily told him about the book, why it was rated low and the likes. They talked for another hour until Soo Hyun can’t take it any longer for her eyes are threatening to shut off. They bid goodnight and told each other “I love you”. 

The next day, Seon Yul was brooding and sulking in the corner of their quarters. Soo Jin smacked him at the back. “Hey, what are you brooding about?”. Did you and Soo Hyun had a fight? A lovers quarrel? Haha 

We didn’t, he replied. Then why are you looking like you two broke up? Soo Jin ever the joker guessed, is it about Dr. Tae Oh? 

He saw Seon Yul flinched. “Aha, it is about him” Soo Jin laughed so hard he nearly fell off the bed where Seon Yul was sulking. Why? Did he made a move on her? 

What?..Seon Yul asked. Dr, tae Oh is very famous and accomplished, He is also very much single. I heard he got divorced last month. 

What? Seon Yul raised his voice. Woooah, relax my friend. I am sure Soo Hyun did not like her. 

With a heavy sigh and desperation he said “She didn’t like him alright, she was actually impressed by him. She was Dr. Tae oh this and that last night!” 

That is why you are sulking? Hahahaha Oh my God Seon Yul! You are acting so jealous!

I am not! He stood up and paced the room. 

Soo Jin can’t stop laughing hugging his pillow. Well, it seems you got a little competition going on there, kiddo! Dr. Tae Oh is a man, you are a kid! Seon Yul grabbed him but Soo Jin was quick to get out of his bed and got away from him. 

Moments like this makes him mad a little but also feel alive. Petty things, jealous things all but normal in a relationship. His 1st ever romantic relationship. Soo Hyun being the more mature one may not have a problem in this aspect but he on the other hand has a lot to learn. 

A week after both are so busy. They still talked everyday but this time only a short time due to their very busy and tight schedules. It is one of those weeks. Soo Hyun is scheduled for an exclusive interview with her new book coming out on the holiday season. Soo Hyun smiled thinking about while in her dressing room that this year would be their 1st Christmas together, hers and Seon Yul.  Soo Hyun was beautiful in a blue dress with subtle make up and ponytailed hair. Traveling, Seon Yul and his bets friends were glued to their phones. They are watching live streaming. 

The interview was going well until a question was asked and caught Soo Hyun off guard. 

“Your ex husband is marrying again, how about you Doctor? How is your heart these days?”

She knew about her ex husband’s engagement but how would she answer about the follow up questions. She became tense. 

“I am so happy for him and his fiancee. I met her already and we are in a good place, my ex and I”. 

That is wonderful news to all of your fans who are so worried for you. She is beginning to feel dizzy by the questions and she thought she would let it go but she pressed on and asked “and you, will you date again?” 

Again, she was caught off guard…she froze for a moment and her head is not functioning well now. She became stiff and words can’t get out immediately but she has to so she said “Oh, I am fine, my heart is fine. “ 

She wants the interview to stop but she is not done yet. “I heard from sources you are dating someone right now Doctor, forgive our intrusion, we are just happy you are happy again for you deserve it. All your fans are wishing you the best”. 

She doesn’t know if its a trick question and all but she decided to answer anyways “You are asking some personal questions, I am sure its nobody’s concern really but I thank you all or wishing me the best”. 

She doesn’t want to answer those questions and frankly its not their damn business she says in her mind. She is not denying anything nor she is admitting to anything either. It is better that way. This is something she is fretting for weeks now since she learned about So Hu’s engagement. She hasn’t told Seon Yul yet and worse, they are invited but Soo Hyun is hesitant not just to tell him but to bring him during the wedding ceremony. She believes it is not yet time. Now with the interview, it is out in the open and she is sure he will ask those questions. 

Seon Yul and his best friends were still and silent all throughout their travel to a convention. They saw Seon Yul in deep thought and somehow he looks angry. Seon Yul is beyond angry. He is not sure though what is he mad about. Her not telling him about the wedding or that she did not answered those questions about dating? But he thought they both agreed to keep it low profile or a secret from the public. Still, he felt he is blindsided. They will talk when he comes back, he said to himself. 

Over the weekend, they met at his apartment. They talked about other things 1st and Soo Hyun, addressing the elephant in the room started 1st. “Seon Yul, about the interview”. She wanted to explain and explained she did. “I wanted to tell you Soo Hun is getting married but I simply forgot, I am sorry.” When is he getting married ? Next month he said. 

Are you attending?, he asked. Soo Hyun is in dilemma, she was attending and he was attending but she is not sure if it is the right time for them to be seen in public. She answered “yes, I will be attending”. With whom, May I ask? Seon Yul is looking down. He is not looking at her. Soo Hyun is not sure what to say. She doesn’t want to lie but she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, too. “I will go with my mother and sister”. Soo Hyun is not a very good liar, Seon Yul can see that. He is mad she is lying to her. After all, he saw the invitation last week when she gave that food to him at the hospital, the invitation was there. She forgot it then and he forgot to give it back or did he? 

You are lying, Soo Hyun. I saw the invitation. 

Soo Hyun stood up and wants to apologize right away without thinking how or asking how come he knew. She is just guilty. 

I…am sorry Seon Yul, it is just…hard. I am not sure…. 

Of me? He abruptly asked her. “No, NO of course not Seon Yul. Not that”. 

But why keep it from me? You don’t want them to know? 

Soo Hyun wants to plainly say Yes because that’s the truth but Seon Yul is hurting, she can see that. 

She went to Seon Yul and held his hands “listen to me, I am not ashamed of you, of us. I just think we are not ready yet to face them, the public”. 

Us or You? Seon Yul growled. The 1st time he got angry at her. The 1st time she sees it on her or she saw this look years ago she believes. The look of betrayal she believes. 

We agreed on taking things low, Seon Yul, we also agreed on not going public with this yet. Don’t turn this on me. Its been barely 6 months!  Soo Hyun realized again her words are so blunt and straightforward. She doesn’t know yet how Seon Yul will react but she can’t help it. 

You are right. We barely have this relationship. I guess 6 months is not a long time yet. Seon Yul knows she is right but somehow its painful hearing it from her. Like, she feels she doesn’t want him to go with her and he knows she is right as always. But he is hurt. He, too can’t help it.  He knows it is gonna be a big deal. So, feeling defeated and he doesn’t want to fight or argue anymore. He wants to let it go and rest now. 

"It is getting late. You should go home"." He directed her towards the door to leave. 

Soo Hyun is mad at herself and him but she understands why. This is all new to her. Arguing after 6 years like having a husband. Seon Yul is different from his ex. She is overthinking. She doesn’t want to go home mad or him mad at her. 

So, when Seon Yul was about to turn his back on her, she took his hand. “Are you mad at me?” 

No, he replied coldly. 

You are. Just be honest about it for once, Seon Yul! She shouted. 

Yes! I am mad but more than that I am hurt. I know I shouldn’t be because we agreed on it but this is all new to me, too. I want to say out loud my feelings for you, our relationship but I can’t. You can’t and it sucks, it hurts! I am sorry I feel this way. I..don’t know why I’m triggered really. I was jealous of Dr. Tae Oh, and It’s just that..I’m having nightmares lately and I know you are right. If people know, they will judge us but frankly I don’t care but you do, so I do, too but….you have this power over me, I am so weak and stupid when it comes to this, to you..I am sorry but…

With every ounce of her body and soul, with tears flowing in his eyes as she saw them in his face, she wants him to stop talking, she wants him to stop crying and hurting…so she kissed him. She kissed him with desperation like a plea saying “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you”. At first, Seon Yul was just standing and receiving her kisses but something in him has lit, like a fire, his hands moved to her neck and for the 1st time, he kissed her neck. He kissed her neck slowly but fiercely like he wants to mark her , saying “you are mine” in her ear as she is his, which he knows in his mind it is not decent to say that but he is hurt right now and all he wants is to kiss her and feel her in any way he could. She breath on him so did he on her. It’s been a long time since they last kissed this long. They are taking it slowly in that area, too but he is just a man and sometimes, he wants her so bad and even he is embarrassed to admit, he wants more than a kiss. Their kisses were hungry and fluid. She broke the kiss first. She is panting. Her lips are wet and Seon Yul’s eyes are darker than usual looking at her but he is the one really to break the “mood” for good. He wants to do it the right way, in his mind he is saying that. He doesn’t want to fight her. She always win he thought. He smirked and smiled at her “That was our first fight and our first…make up….kiss”. 

Both flushed and embarassed. They hugged each other. “I love you and I am sorry, Seon Yul” I will be more honest. I never wanted to hurt you. “And I love you more, Soo Hyun” I am sorry I got mad but you were right over this. We need to be careful”. 

We will talk tomorrow. 

“Yes, and tell me about your nightmares, ok?” She replied back. He smiled. Then she left for the night. 

The world it seems is catching up to them slowly but surely. They cannot hide nor keep it a secret forever. 

(Last 2 chapters and an epilogue which will be the ending of this story. I already know the ending. I am sad to let this go but this has been a joy to write. Major drama awaits, buckle up! Again, thank you or reading and anticipating this every week or 2 weeks since I am very busy these days. I intent to finish this before Aug 5 when school starts. Fingers crossed!)

[estellesdoll]

31 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓 | 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒎𝒂𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

⊹. 𝒅𝒂𝒚 13 : 𝒔𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𖧧 . ָ࣪    ִֶָ

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𓄹 ࣪.𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𓄹 ࣪.𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 𓄹 ࣪.𝒏𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒈𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𓄹 ࣪.𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

Are you sure you want to leave, Y/N? Just look outside—it’d be really dangerous to go out in this weather,” MaryLou said gently, her kind eyes meeting mine.

“I don’t think it’s that bad,” I said, though my voice wasn’t very convincing. “I just don’t want to overstay—I know you’d probably like some time with your family.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” she said with a warm smile, “you are part of this family.”

Her words made my cheeks heat up, and I instinctively glanced at Chris. He was already looking at me, his face tinted with a little bit of embarrassment.

“Mom, they’re just fri—” Nick started to interject, but MaryLou waved him off as she moved around the kitchen.

“Oh, don’t even start. I know,” she replied with a playful roll of her eyes before turning to us. “I’ll make some popcorn. Go on upstairs, and I’ll bring it to you in a bit.”

Chris reached for my hand, his grip steady and reassuring as he led me up the stairs to his room.

Once the door closed, he turned to me with a soft look. “She’s right, you know. You can’t leave in this weather—it’s not safe.”

“Chris, I get it,” I said, crossing my arms as I looked at him. “But I’ve already stayed too long. I don’t want you all to feel like I’m practically moving in.”

He hesitated for a moment before stepping a little closer, his voice softer now. “I wouldn’t mind if you did.”

His words caught me off guard, and I blinked up at him, my heart skipping a beat. “You’re not serious,” I said quietly, my face already warm.

He shrugged with a small smile, his gaze dropping to meet mine. “I don’t know. It’d be nice, having you around all the time.”

“Chris…” I murmured, unsure of what to say.

He grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he reached out to brush a strand of hair behind my ear. “Relax. You’re not moving in—yet.”

I rolled my eyes, though I couldn’t stop the smile tugging at my lips. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re cute when you’re flustered,” he teased, his voice soft enough to make my heart flutter.

Chris turned on the TV, settling into his bed with the remote in hand. He patted the spot beside him, looking at me with that familiar teasing smile. “Come on. I’m not letting you sit on the floor.”

Rolling my eyes, I climbed onto the bed, keeping a bit of space between us. The warmth of his room and the soft glow of the screen made it feel like time had slowed down.

As the movie started, Chris leaned back, his arm brushing against mine. “See? Cozy. You’re not going anywhere.”

I laughed softly, shaking my head. “You’re impossible.”

He grinned, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. “And yet, here you are.”

His words lingered, his tone playful but with an undertone that made my cheeks heat up. I turned my attention to the screen, but my heart wasn’t exactly focused on the movie.

﹒◟send me your requests and use an emoji if you want to stay anonymous. 𓂃

@estellesdoll

[mcsm-confessions]

I absolutely love Ivor as a character and what did they for him after the Witherstorm arc, but I hate HOW they did it. It would feel more deserving for him to act his jolly self post-Episode 5 if the game (and writers) didn't pretend everything before that didn't happen.

Like, how did that man get off scot-free? No consequences or anything? Now, I'm not asking for them to toss the dude in jail or anything, but at LEAST give him community service or SOMETHING. Characters and background characters should be angry with him! You kinda unleashed horrors beyond comprehension on the world my dude, unintentional or not.

None of the townspeople at the beginning EP5 seemed at the very least annoyed that Ivor, the man that basically caused the destruction of their previous homes and for them to relocate, was relaxing among them and above them all (unless you take down his house I guess). Just that his house was a fire-hazard. I'm surprised they still let him stay after bringing lava into town like that. The main gang doesn't seem to mind this either. Petra at least voiced SOME concerns, but she never liked him at the start anyways.

Also, I don't think it was ever confirmed that other people were killed due to this incident (other than the determinant ones). Still, a little icky that we just progress the game in a "eh, life goes on" kinda way.

Of course, the game is ultimately a Minecraft game and... it shouldn't be taken super seriously, but... come on now. They already toyed with serious undertones before this (which I loved that it wasn't afraid to do so). It was odd for them to double down.

Anyway. Again, I love Ivor as a character. He's one of my absolute favorites in all of media. Great antagonist and anti-villain, believable motives, amazing personality and voice. But I wish his redemption went differently and had real repercussions for his actions.

Sorry, this was more of a rant than a confession. I'm finished now.

~~~

[002yb]

jason and roy have a longstanding guys being dudes thing where they text each other pics of their gnarly bruises and not too serious wounds so that the other can be like “woah, i can see the tread pattern of the boot just from the bruise!” because these things are cool and gross in the way that dudes find irresistible and here is a guy who will valorize it without all the you should have been better undertone or smothering worry and it escalates until one day when jay gets a fingernail ripped off and his first thought after all the danger and blood is ha! this beats roy’s thing from last week and like they are somewhat aware that its kinda abnormal but their text convos are a safe space free from shame or judgement so its all good until someone gets a glimpse of pure gore followed by a winky face emoji when jason goes to open his phone

Just gonna casually bring this around to something more dickjayroy, because of course I would. All the above, but:

Dick and Roy running a mission together and, while successful, isn't without casualty. It's nothing they won't survive, but they're a little fucked up. Dick more so, but he's a scrapper. He'll survive the wait for first aid while Roy takes some sick and sleazy mirror pics for his boy Jaybird. It's all good.

Dick might be a little concussed and bleeding on Roy's couch, but Roy can't not share the road burn that stretches up his arm and shoulder.

Roy hearing Dick call for him from down the hall. Just a thoughtful check-in of, 'You okay?' Like Dick in his current state of wooziness and pain has the wherewithal to come help Roy if needed. The thought is sweet.

The fact that Dick would find the resolve to help Roy even as Dick is s t r u g g l i n g is mildly horrifying though, so.

Some cute banter as Roy sends his message off, calling out to Dick that he's good but also for validation that Roy looked cool while he was skidding across asphalt earlier. He was, right?

Pffft, Dick trying to be playful/teasing when he agrees, but he's so fucked up that it comes out sounding more genuine than anything and Roy is ;U; as he settles in to take care of his friend. Helping Dick out of the top of his costume only to pause because - wow.

Just Dick lacking all self-awareness. He's hurt. He's tired. He's got someone he trusts looking after him, so. Dick just slouches on the couch, head tipped over the back of it. Boneless. Dazed. Chest and abs a beautiful sight - all toned muscles heaving with shallow breaths, and like. Dick being hot is nothing Roy blinks an eye at, nah. It's the ugly, weeping wound in his side that does. Blood stained and irritated and already showing signs of bruising crawling up his ribs.

Of course the camera comes out. Of course Roy sneaks off a picture to Jason (it only shows Dick's wounded torso, even if Dick's scowl is handsome and deserves to be seen by more people than Roy lol).

Anyway, Dick joking about if Roy got his good side. To which Roy snickers because Dick is all good sides; but yeah, for sure.

Then Roy proceeds to actually tend to Dick's injury. Cleaning, stitching, distracting. Dick being a model patient, disturbingly still although he's sweating through all the pain. Seemingly ignoring Roy, only he'd never. Because whenever Roy stops talking Dick opens his eyes to look at him until Roy starts talking again.

Just Dick finding comfort in the sound of his friend's voice ahhhhhhhhhh. ;A;

In which a Roy and Jason ask becomes entirely Dick and Roy omg. This happens every time but in my defense they're perfect, so.

While Roy's hands are all bloody from patching Dick up, a reply comes through on Roy's phone. Roy telling Dick to check it for him.

Which leads to a little coy game of, 'what's your password?' and 'hah! like you don't know,' and 'if it's not my birthday idk if i'll recover,' and 'bull. what's your password?' 'the day we met ;)' which it isn't, Roy would discover later. Which would lead to lots of laughs and play fighting and it'd be cute af.

Anyway, Dick checking the message and seeing that the picture Roy took of him went to Jason, of all people. Jason - who has no idea who he's looking at.

Letting Dick read the texts is top tier distraction plan, on Roy's part. Also, it ends up being funny.

Just Jason being genuinely confused because he doesn't know about all of Roy's missions and stuff. So he's just like, 'hot damn.' 'i know that's not you who's mr.man?' and extra stuff about the actual injury with Jason trying to figure out what happened and being all thirsty because he'd take a bite fr

And it makes Dick laugh and ow, but it's so dumb

Dick taking the cheekiest photo with Roy that shows how he's stitching Dick up and tbh? Roy thinks it's criminal the sort of devastation Dick can cause when Dick tries. In that same vein, he's just as devastating when he doesn't try. That's neither here nor there though.

Roy cackling as they send off the photo and watching through titters at the ensuing silence, the indication that Jason is texting before he disappears before coming back again and going away.

Something something with Roy and Jason being fascinated by injury and gore. Meanwhile, Dick is all there for the emotional damage and injury through flustered feels. He's w/e about a bleeding wound, but blood rushing to Jason's cheeks in a blush? That's what Dick would want a picture of.

Commence Roy and Dick having their own text conversation that is entirely photos of just that LOL.

Roy's just living his best life and he deserves it.

[cedarnommer]

Queer music with trans undertones.

That's a topic that I've only breached recently. Call me a little baby queer, but I never knew the wealth of cool music done by very cool people before this. There's a wide range of genres and different types of lyrics to go along with it. In this post, I'll focus down on music that I personally like. It may not be for you and that's perfectly understandable.

Glass Beach is a very cool band and their first album, while unrefined, has 2 songs in particular which I'm obsessed with.

Bedroom community is such a fun song and really holds true to much of my life experiences throughout my life. Because I live in an environment that does its best to isolate queer folk, that meant that the only way I could explore my gender identity and my sexual preferences was through the internet. And while not the point of the song, the song really gets me pumped up to be an annoying blasphemous little gremlin to all the nasty christo-fasc out there.

This song brings me to tears every time. The lyrics are just insanely personal and I think many trans femmes could connect with this song. Being misgendered by your peers and especially your family. Needing a desperate escape. Tackling with adulthood. The little holiday feeling of getting your HRT. It's much. It's so much. I'm bursting into tears even as I type this out. This song is so powerful. I can't help it! It's a song about me! Just for me and me alone! It's so personal aa!

While this song doesn't bring the same reaction from me, the lyrics and the melody is so melancholic and it's such a wonderful song. One of their later and more "mature" works as a band. It's great.

Now I'll do some randomly assorted different artists. I haven't explored their music as deeply as Plastic Beach. But these songs are a highlight for me. And I'm usually a really chaotic listener anyway.

This song is simple but it rocks. While I'm a gender conforming and very woman identifying trans femme, I'm also aware of the absurdity of the gender binary. And I think that even someone like me is inherently confusing and terrifying to the social systems that uphold this nonsensical binary. This song is a good way to remind ourselves how absurd and pointless our divide between "males" and "females" is not based around chromosomes or other confused markers but purely on cultural indicators of identity.

This song's lyrics are wonderful. It kind of reflects my recent posts on Tumblr and my frustration on weirdo internet people obsessed with my genitals and being creeps. Because bigotry is creepy and weird. The chorus of this song is especially really good and I find myself humming it along sometimes.

I'm not into ska, but I really enjoy this song in particular from this genre. The lyrics are fun and the theme of breaking apart and mixing gender identities is fun. It's a fun song. Because once gender stops being used as an authoritarian tool to enforce a binary, it can be fun finding the way to express yourself.

This is some of the stuff I've discovered recently. I think the main reason I'm making this post is a bit more of a serious and grim topic that I've touched upon a bit. I live in the Balkans and I live in a city that's infamous for street fights and toxic masculinity. You can imagine that being a trans femme, even if I pass well, still sets me up for a bunch of dangers. My country's politicians are conservative enough to the point that any idea of rights to LGBT folk isn't even considered, with concepts of queerness being considered a "threat" to the "traditional" family structure. Of course, all of this is a bunch of nonsense.

But it means that spaces for queer people are difficult to find. Apparently people congregate on Facebook, but Facebook where I live at is essentially Twitter. I'm not interested in torturing myself with that. That's left me feeling very isolated. I've recently actually tried to join some local Discord servers, but they were overwhelmingly dominated by cis gay men that seem to only be interested in sex. That's just not for me.

I think listening to music like this helps me feel less alone and more hopeful for the future. If anyone out there is dealing with the same loneliness I am, please find music that reflects your feelings. You'll feel a bit better about the world, knowing that you're not alone and your ideas aren't as foreign as you think.

You're wonderful.

You're valid.

And you're rad as heck.

Queer, trans, non-binary, non-conforming and any fun mixture of sexual orientation. You're the best!

[imakatperson22]

Everyone has their own spin on how they’d like Eddie and Marisol to break up. Well, here’s mine: (under the cut)

Marisol used to be a nun but she doesn’t seem like she outright rejected Catholicism in her life. She makes light of that part of her life, telling Eddie she’ll spank him with a ruler if he asks, suggesting she doesn’t harbor religious trauma or serious negative emotions associated with Catholicism. She may still be a deeply religious woman. We see the large cross she brings with her when Eddie is unpacking her things. I know there’s the premarital sex and premarital cohabitation she’s been engaged with but we all know believing in a religion doesn’t mean you always follow the rules.

Eddie, on the other hand, we know does have at least some feelings of negativity towards the church. This can be seen in his heart to heart with Bobby when he talks about how he doesn’t identify as sharing his faith with Bobby and how he felt pressured into marrying Shannon so young. There’s also the comphet undertones to his character that would cause him to further reject the Catholic belief system.

I want Marisol to start asking Eddie to go to church with her. I want her to bring up Christopher getting confirmed. I want her to invite Eddie to pray with her. I want her to start making the difference in their religious values apparent. And Eddie? Eddie is SO not down.

He’s already opened the door to the Catholic guilt and he does not want to step through it. Cue introspection and pondering the role the church has had throughout his life but also repress, repress, repress. So he picks up extra shifts on Sundays so he can use work as an excuse to not go to church. He does everything he can to avoid the topic. But eventually he can’t hide anymore and realize that differing on religious beliefs is a fundamental relationship killer and that the relationship can no longer continue.

So he breaks up with her over it. A definitive action that illustrates how he feels about the church and its role in his life. He’s not just breaking up with Marisol, he’s breaking up with Catholicism, for good. Letting go of Marisol = letting go of some of the beliefs he held that shaped his worldview, possibly including being comphet. He could finally examine how he approached relationships and start a journey into his own sexuality (though he wouldn’t be aware his sexuality was something to be contemplated).

Tim, please, I’m begging you. I will write this show for free, please put me on staff.

[fenharel-enaste]

Bluster || Galadriel x Fem!Reader (Part 2)

Rating: 18+ (Minors DNI)

Word count: 3,3k

Summary: You make your move to visit Galadriel in her chambers and let her teach you some humility... but you're determined not to make it easy for her.

Content: Explicit sexual content, light dom/sub undertones, switch!Galadriel, switch!reader, oral sex, vaginal fingering, scissoring, body fluids, reader is still a brat.

Notes: I know, I know... this part is written in past tense while the first one was written in present tense. It's been a year and my style's changed. I liked it better in a past tense, so that's why I decided to keep it as it is, being just a two chapter fic.

Part 1

You can read it on AO3 as well!

Join my taglist!

You stood at the door to Galadriel's chambers. You felt determined on your way there, but you hesitated now you were about to knock on her door. 

Not long before, while you tried to relax in your bathtub after the exhausting training, your mind kept replaying the words she said to you that morning. It felt like a distant memory now. 

You should come see me later... 

Did she mean what she said? Your heart raced at the memory and you felt the heat rising to your cheeks. Perhaps it was a mistake to show up there, but you simply couldn't forget the touch of her body pressed against yours and the warm caress of her tongue. It made your head spin just thinking about it. You took a deep breath before knocking on her door. It was done. 

You heard her voice inviting you to come in and you found lady Galadriel lying on a beautiful white chaise lounge by a large open window. The balcony seemed to overlook a garden, as the breeze blowing in brought a sweet scent of flowers that permeated the chamber. She was observing you over the top of her book, not looking surprised in the slightest by your presence there. 

“I was wondering if that pride of yours would allow you to come,” she said, placing her book on the chaise. She walked up to you, never looking away - she never looked away when addressing someone. She radiated confidence, even some smugness perhaps. She was wearing a long white robe embroidered with fine gold details, which she trailed loosely behind her bare feet. It was graceful whilst comfortable and its delicate appearance contrasted with the looks of the panoply holding the training clothes she had worn earlier, as well as with her sword leaning against the wall. She looked almost ethereal. 

"But good soldiers never waste an opportunity to learn, as I can see," she grinned, standing inches from you. You could kiss her right there again. And by the Valar if you wanted to. Her hair looked slightly wet, and a delicious fragrance from the oils she had used in her bath emanated from her. You met her questioning eyes and cleared your throat when you realised she was awaiting for an answer. You wanted to say something witty, as you always do to hide your nervousness, but all that bluster vanished the moment she placed her lips on yours on the training ground. Since that moment, you couldn’t think of anything else but pleasing her. 

“They don’t, indeed, lady Galadriel,” you responded in a trembling voice, struggling not to take your eyes from her intense gaze. 

“Good.” She paused as she studied you. “Take off your clothes, love.” 

What? You could see in her eyes she was being serious, so you complied, feeling once again a heat between your legs. She wasn't even touching you, but you could almost feel her gaze like hands caressing every spot she laid it on. You raised a hand towards her cheek, but she stopped you before you could touch it. She didn't grab your hand, she just pushed it away gently with a smirk on her face. However, she did bring her other hand to your cheek, stroking it down to your chin. Her eyes lingered on your lips, it wasn't an accidental fleeting glance, she knew exactly what she was doing. Your heart pounded in your chest, begging for her to stop playing and just kiss you. 

You were barely aware that she was pushing you backwards, slowly guiding you to her bed until you felt a final push. Your back bounced against the mattress. 

“If you wish to touch me, you must first learn to stop being so impulsive... and only observe.” 

You watched in awe as her garments fell down her skin, revealing her breathtaking body. All of it. You looked away, she was too beautiful, too intimidating, not to mention she was your commander. You shouldn't be looking at her like that. But you had to when she climbed onto the bed, placing one leg on either side of your hips, straddling you just like she did during the training. You felt your heart pounding and a burning sensation run through your body. 

She leaned over you and brushed her tongue over your lips, softly and slowly. You instinctively opened your mouth to do the same, but Galadriel took the moment to slip her tongue into you, eliciting a soft moan from your lips. You brought your hands to her waist, but she pulled them away, holding them on either side of your head. 

"I'm sure you'll be a good girl for me and there will be no need to restrain you." It was both a praise and a warning. You nodded your head in obedience, her intoxicating scent keeping you from thinking clearly, to talk back as you wanted. You just kept your arms where you were told, as you welcomed her warm tongue back into your mouth. She tasted deliciously, and she was kissing you very, very slowly, leaving you breathless. You bucked your hips, begging for some friction against her. Galadriel parted her lips from you to give you a warning look. It wasn't harsh, but somewhat mischievous. She loved how desperate you were for her. 

She lowered her hips and you felt a wet warmth on your belly, just below your navel. You gasped at the contact and struggled to keep still as she rubbed her clit against you, making you grip the pillow with your hands. Her mouth reached your jaw and left a trail of kisses and nibbles down to your neck, moaning with lust as she did it. Her body moved over you, her breasts pressing tightly against yours. She was so soft, the sounds she was making made your head spin. You felt your thighs slippery from your own fluids gathered between them. And you didn't even have the option of relieving yourself. 

After a few minutes, Galadriel straightened up and pulled away from you, now sitting on your belly. She kept rolling her hips with her eyes closed, letting her instinct guide her movements. You dared to look at her body more closely now, she looked so fucking perfect, and you were so frustrated at not being allowed to caress it with your hands. The whimpers and gasps leaving her lips didn't ease that frustration, and the feeling of being used like that made it almost unbearable. 

When she reached her climax, her brow was furrowed and loud moans came from her open lips as her mound rubbed even harder and faster against you, leaving a wet, hot spot on your belly. You could almost feel yourself cumming with her, your fists clenched even tighter on the pillow under your head as you cried out from a pleasure you could only feel in your mind. 

When she opened her eyes. She smiled down at you. 

“I knew I could teach you some discipline.” She held your hands and brought them to her body, placing them on her sweating, flushed skin. “And I always reward good, disciplined soldiers.” 

Galadriel allowed you to explore her body, her smooth skin under your hands. You reached them up to her breasts to caress her now hard nipples and marvelled at the way she sighed under your touch. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against yours once again. This time, it was you the first to slip your tongue into her mouth, you were feeling too eager now. But she was soon back in control, biting your lower lip and making you groan when she pressed one of her thighs against the wetness between your legs. Your hips bucked uncontrollably against her leg, your hands clutching at Galadriel’s body to pull her closer to you. 

You whined when she broke the kiss, but you understood her intentions when her mouth travelled down your neck, your shoulders, your breasts, her long hair tickling your heated skin as she placed wet kisses across your belly until she stopped before your soaking cunt. 

She teased you with her tongue, brushing it along the sides of your folds and around your clit, but never touching it. 

“Please...” you breathed out, you knew she could see how wet and needy you were, she was toying with you. And you could tell she was enjoying it by her satisfied chuckle. 

“You look so pretty when you beg, pretty thing,” she praised you, sending her warm breath directly onto your cunt. 

“Please, my lady... ah!” You shivered at the touch of her tongue against you. She flicked it gently once until she reached your clit, then a second time, pausing to suck on it. Her mouth worked slowly at first, patiently, showing skill. It wasn't the first time she'd done it, that was for sure. Gradually, she increased the intensity, making circling movements with her tongue as she pushed two fingers into your drenched entrance. Your legs opened wider involuntarily and you rocked your hips, following her pace. You didn't even remember the moment you tangled her locks in your hand, pressing her mouth against you, her skilled tongue and fingers sending spasms through every fibre of your body, wave after wave, pushing you closer and closer to your peak. Tears were building up in your eyes when you rolled them back in pleasure, arching your back as you rode your mind-shattering orgasm. You bucked your hips, begging for more of that feeling, and Galadriel complied and complied until she felt your body relax and your cries and pleas slowly vanished. 

You saw her looking at you with that satisfied smile when you finally opened your eyes, as if mocking your failure to maintain your composure in her presence. You needed, and were determined, to break her. As soon as she moved back on top of you to kiss you, you rolled your body over, pushing her down to pin her underneath you. 

“Is it insubordination what I see?” Galadriel asked with a defiant gaze, challenging you. 

“Will you stop me, commander?” you teased on her lips before kissing them, tasting yourself on her mouth as you explored her body. You mapped every inch of her with your hands, her face, her neck, her arms, her bucking hips, until you found her soft breasts. You felt her breath hitching in your mouth when you pinched one of her nipples, and you squeezed and pinched once again. You moved lower and lower until your mouth found her breasts and the caresses of your hands were replaced by the warmth of your tongue, which you ran only once over her hardened nipples, teasing her and studying every reaction. 

Just with that you felt her hips bucking up and her legs trying to close at your sides, seeking that friction once again. The thought of that beautiful woman being so needy for you —even if she’d never admit it out loud— made you feel more powerful than you had expected, and that proud smile Galadriel had tried to wipe off your face reappeared as you heard her whimpers, wordlessly imploring you to take her. 

So you obliged and met her nipples again, this time taking them into your mouth and sucking them, flicking your tongue on them as your hand travelled lower until you reached the wetness between her legs. You played with her clit for a while and teased her entrance with your middle finger, always pulling back just before sliding them in. And you repeated the process, over and over again while you looked at her from her breasts. Her eyes were closed, and she breathed heavily as her fist gripped tightly to the pillow at her side. 

“By Eru, just fuck me already...” There it was. You almost had her. 

“Hm, I don’t know commander, that doesn’t sound very convincing,” you teased, eliciting a frustrated groan out of her. 

You kept playing with her folds, giving her hope once again, and again retiring your fingers before giving her what she wanted. After a while, she finally broke, looking at you with pleading, glassy eyes. 

“Please...” 

“I’m sorry, my lady, I think you said something?” 

“Please... please, I need you to fuck me, I... I beg you...” With a proud smirk on your face, you decided to show mercy on her and grant her wish. You slid a finger into her drenched entrance, feeling her walls tighten around it for a moment, so eager to be filled. So, after a few tentative strokes, she welcomed a second finger with ridiculous ease. 

“Oh fuck...” Galadriel gasped the moment you found that spot that so desperately longed to be touched on that day. You took it slow, reading her every reaction, seeking ways to give her greater pleasure, to hear more of those little moans, to see how far you could take her. And while your actions had a selfish purpose, to feed your pride, to show you weren't all talk, deep down you desired nothing more than to please her, to be the obliging soldier under her command, that you could give her whatever she wished for from you. In the battlefield. In bed. In every way. 

Soon you were arching your fingers over and over again against her bundle of nerves. Galadriel bucked her hips, demanding more, practically fucking herself with your hand, accompanying the wet sounds that filled the room with her increasingly frequent cries. Seeing Galadriel in such a state was an obscene sight, and yet absolutely mesmerizing. She looked so beautiful in a way that made you crave for her even more than before. 

With your fingers still working inside her, you used your thumb to play with her clit. Then you placed the palm of your free hand right on her belly and pressed gently, letting her feel your fingers even more intensely on her sweet spot. As soon as you did this, you felt her body tremble under your hands and her walls clench around your fingers, now working much rapidly. At least, that was what you felt, since your eyes were locked on her face, on how her eyes rolled just before shutting tightly when she reached her high once more. On how her hands searched frantically for something to hold onto as the most beautiful cries filled your ears. 

You allowed her to enjoy that moment of bliss while the last waves of pleasure slowly weakened. You lowered your head to her belly to leave soft kisses on it and massaged her thighs, feeling her breathing return to calm. It wasn't until Galadriel sat up in bed to kiss your lips so thirstily that you became aware of your renewed arousal, feeling your clit throbbing with each caress of her tongue. 

“Don’t you think this is over, pretty thing,” she breathed against your lips. She lifted your leg to make room and position herself so her legs were intertwined with yours. Your lustful eyes locked on hers, your heart racing in anticipation, and she pushed you down onto the mattress. She then lowered her body and grinned in amusement when you gasped at the feeling of your clit being coated with her own wetness. She teased you a few times, pulling away every time you bucked your hips towards her, but she finally complied when you grabbed her to bring her closer to you. 

You moved together gently at first, searching for the perfect rhythm, the perfect roll of hips. You marvelled at how warm and soft her pussy felt next to yours, and by the way Galadriel quickened her pace, eyes locked right where your bodies met, you suspected she didn't think much differently than you. It wasn’t long before the room was filled again with moans, whimpers and the squeeky sound of the mattress beneath your bodies moving in sync, rubbing against each other harder and faster now, pursuing your own pleasure. 

You lifted yourself off the bed almost instinctively and crushed your lips against hers in a heated kiss, a kiss she reciprocated eagerly, her hands running all over your skin. Her mouth moved hungrily to your neck and shoulders, leaving a trail of nibbles that sent a shiver down your body to join the building pleasure between your legs. 

“My lady, I’m... keep going, please...” You were so close you didn’t think you could control your movements at this point, but Galadriel held you close, placing her hand on the small of your back and guiding you through your shared rhythm. The built up pressure in your core was released when your orgasm ripped through your body, making you arch your back. Galadriel’s praising words echoed in your ears as you uncontrollably rode her pussy. 

The rock of your hips slowed down as you came down your high, your clit starting to feel overstimulated by the friction against Galadriel's flesh, so you briefly parted the space between your bodies. But she didn't let go of your hips, instead, she held you in place, in a silent command for you to keep going. Her firm grip intended to show control over you, but her dilated pupils and flushed face revealed that it was merely a facade to hide how close she was to cumming, how desperate she was for you to give her her release. You smiled internally, agreeing to play along, and rubbed yourself against her even harder than before, eager to break her once again. 

Just a few seconds later, you felt her thighs trembling against yours, her hands tightly gripping your arms for balance as she kept thrusting against you, her orgasm driving her own hips, and you almost thought you could cum right there again at the sight of your commander using your body to pleasure herself, letting out those cries just for you. In fact, barely had her whimpering ceased when the pressure in your belly became unbearable again. 

You lost count of the times you had made each other cum that way, and stopping didn't seem an option for either of you at any time, nor was it something either of you wanted. You exchanged longing glances, caresses, kisses and nibbles for possibly hours, while your pussies, now covered by your shared fluids, slid on each other with ease, causing wet, lewd sounds that only hastened your orgasms. 

Finally, you fell exhausted on the bed once your bodies collapsed. You held each other close, catching your breath, staring out across the balcony as the dying daylight give way to a starlit sky. But as beautiful as these stars were, you were caught by Galadriel as, instead, you observed with an amused smile at her rosy cheeks and her body covered in the little love marks you had left on it, reminding you of the moans and pleas you had managed to get out of the commander. 

Galadriel chuckles at your foolish expression. "What's that smile on your face, soldier?" she asks mockingly. 

“I was thinking that...” you brushed the small marks on her skin with your fingertips. “You looked so pretty when you begged before... perhaps it is you who has learned a lesson in humility today after all, my lady..." Galadriel's eyes widened in disbelief. 

“I believe it was quite the opposite, darling,” she turned to face you and gently run her fingers over your swollen lips. "I do remember some pretty pleads coming out of these lips," she purred before capturing them with her own. 

“Well, commander, allow me to disagree," you replied with defiant eyes. It was the same flirting from that morning in the courtyard repeating itself. And you both knew where that led. 

“Alright, pretty thing... we still have the night ahead, we have plenty of time to see who’s right,” Galadriel whispered seductively against your lips before kissing them once again. 

Certainly, if that was to be her way of disciplining you from now on, you were going to make sure that lesson was hard to teach. 

Taglist: @starlady66 @queenmeriadoc @bananaphanta @niennawept @ass-deep-in-demons @elithilanor @coraleethroughthelookingglass @thetempleofthemasaigoddess @thesolarangel @lady-of-imladris @elrondscalaquendi @nyctophilic0vitnir 💖💖💖

[misshoneyimhome]

Ahhh okay normally I’m a reader that loves to enjoy your writing and not a requester but these Willy fics and how well you bring others ideas to life have inspired me! (I apologize if this is a weird ask) I am obsessed with the pictures of him with the lil journalist kids and the article that came out about him and Alex as kids playing hockey and being BFFs and was wondering if you’d write something about being in Sweden and having it be the first real moment when you realize you want Will to be the father of your kids and although you know neither of you are ready for one yet the admission of you wanting kids with him, being around family and not having a lot of alone time with you since landing down makes him broody and want to get some baby making practice in with you🤭

Oh honey, I am living for this! 😊 Willy with kids is just beyond what my ovaries can handle (in a good way of course) ❤️ and love, thank you so much for your sweet sweet comment and no requests are too weird on this page 😉 I’m always open for inspiration! (Sorry I didn’t include the smutty part; let me know if that’s a wish 😉)

*

"I swear, those two were inseparable!" Camilla beamed, sharing heartwarming childhood memories of your boyfriend Willy and his brother Alex. "They competed in everything, and I really mean everything.

"That's so adorable," you chuckled, absorbing every detail of the proud Swedish mother's story.

"It truly was. These boys always shared something special between them. And watching them grow up while maintaining that connection makes a mother incredibly proud," she said, trying to hold back tears of joy.

"You have such an amazing family, Camilla," you expressed with genuine admiration. "You all seem so close; it's just truly wonderful." Your voice resonated with sincerity.

"Well, y/n, you're part of this family now," she chuckled. "We're all thrilled that William found you. He absolutely adores you."

You couldn't help but smile at her sweet words.

"Well, I adore him just as much."

"I know, we all can see it," Camilla remarked. "And who knows, perhaps one day, you and Willy will also contribute to this family," she teased with a playful wink, though her undertone hinted at a hopeful sentiment.

And as both of you smiled and chuckled together, observing William with his father Michael, you sensed a subtle shift within yourself.

**

You knew you loved William deeply. That much was certain.

And over the past couple of years of being together, you sensed that your relationship was slowly evolving into something more profound.

Initially, meeting Willy was meant to be a casual hookup, as you'd weren’t really looking for a long-term serious relationship. But things quickly shifted.

The more time you spend together, the deeper your bond got, and both of you found it difficult to let go.

Yet, being a typical young man, William struggled with expressing his feelings. Coupled with his demanding hockey schedule, being together simply wasn't easy.

And with those challenges, you had to gather the courage to bring it up. Through tearful eyes and a trembling voice, you knew you had to confront him.

"Either you tell me how you feel, Willy, or we can't continue like this! I have strong feelings about you, and I'm trying my best to adjust to your busy schedule. But if you don't want this, I need you to be honest with me so I can move on."

Those had been your words, which naturally had caused you a lot of discomfort and anxiety, yet deep down, you believed it was necessary and the right course of action.

And luckily, William had no intention of losing you. It took him a few days to realise and find the right words, but eventually, he found the courage to express his feelings.

And since then, you've been together, supporting each other through thick and thin.

And tonight, you were there with his family.

From the moment you met them, they welcomed you wholeheartedly into their arms. William wasted no time introducing you during one of their family video calls, and his pride in you was heartwarming.

Following meeting them in-person during the offseason was a truly wonderful experience. Right from the start, Alex and their sisters naturally teased William about you, and before long, you became an integral part of the Nylander inner circle, which became clear when the banter extended to include you.

However, you didn't hold back in returning the teasing, and the family absolutely loved your lively comebacks.

***

But something became different tonight, as you accompanied Camilla while William attended media engagements during the Global Series tour.

While observing your boyfriend amidst his bustling schedule, his broad smiles, infectious laughter, and his genuine radiance in his Scandinavian home of Sweden didn't escape your notice. It was clear that Sweden was where he truly belonged.

However, a new sensation emerged when a group of children approached the hockey players for a journalistic interaction. A sudden yearning for a child stirred deep within your abdomen.

Which was an unfamiliar feeling for you.

But watching your boyfriend exude such happiness and warmth around those children triggered a vivid image: a miniature version of Willy Nylander (or perhaps two), accompanying you both as you grew old together.

Maybe Camilla's words had triggered something, but regardless, you could almost hear your own ovaries clapping.

And your lingering gaze didn't escape the Swedes’s notice.

"He seems to be having a good time out there," she remarked, flashing a warm smile.

"Yeah, he truly does," you replied, trying to mask your thoughts with a deep breath, yet failing to conceal them entirely.

"He's always had a way with kids, you know," she winked before heading off to meet her husband.

Well, that did not calm down your uterus…

****

Later in the evening, you found yourself back in the hotel room with William after a day brimming with interviews, conversations, and hockey training - a schedule that left him longing to be with you.

Since their arrival in Sweden, he had yearned for your company, yet his packed schedule hardly allowed for it. However, witnessing your radiant smile around his family had put him at ease, and made him even more sure of the fact that you belonged with him.

And as you were getting yourselves ready for bed, you paced between the bathroom and the bedroom, seemingly indecisive. Abruptly stopping, turning, then hesitating before retracing your steps back to the bathroom.

"Babe," William chuckled from the bed, casually lounging under the covers. "What's going on?" His playful tone filled the room.

"Nothing... it's nothing," you replied, attempting to sound confident. But with a raised eyebrow, William sat up on the bed, prompting him to question you further.

"Come on, I can tell something's up," he insisted from the bed.

With a small sigh, acknowledging that he was on to you, you slowly approached the bed.

Glancing down at your palm for a moment, you then met his expectant gaze.

"Do you... ever... think about us... as a family?" you asked, a tinge of uncertainty evident in your voice.

The question itself didn't necessarily embarrass you, but a part of you wondered if it might be too early to broach the subject.

But William's response caught you off guard.

"Of course," he chuckled. "I mean, it's not a daily thought, but seeing the other boys with their families has made me think about it once in a while."

His smile exuded pride and confidence, yet a hint of embarrassment lingered beneath the surface.

William had never been the type to envision himself having children, not with his previous girlfriend or at any other point. However, witnessing more of his teammates embrace parenthood and witnessing the joy of family moments at the rink and in their homes reminded him of his own time with his family.

All the cherished moments he had experienced over the years with those he held dear, moving across North America and spending summers and holidays in Sweden.

In fact, something had happened a few months ago, during the off-season when he had taken you along to travel with his family; he realized that you were the one he wanted to build his own family with. However, he hadn't voiced these thoughts. Uncertain of your feelings on the matter, he struggled to initiate the conversation.

With a wide smile adorning your face, you joined him on the bed, pulling him into a deep kiss. In that moment, you were more certain than ever that this man would be the father of your children and the person you'd spend every day with.

Pulling back slightly, you maintained a smile, keeping a comfortable distance between the two of you.

"But, just to clarify, it doesn't have to happen right now... right?" You asked with a light chuckle.

"No, not right now. But I'm glad we both agree that it's in our future," he replied with a smile, gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as your eyes locked.

“Good.”

"But... how about we practice for it? You know, just to make sure we'll be well-prepared," he teased, wearing a mischievous expression.

"Oh, I definitely like that idea," you chuckled.

William returned your smirk, drawing you in closer by placing his hands on your waist and connecting your lips once more.