#not this totally coping normal human being

[starfleetwitch]

[protect-namine]

I have a whole essay in my head on how kisa and neji are the same people with the same problems but in different fonts... but I have to wait until I actually do neji's route (which will be... a while) in case the game throws something at me that debunks this

but like. to me. they are the same though. kisa just has more People Skills and doesn't get the benefit of being seen through an outsider's perspective (unreliable narrator kisa my beloved, forced to be a self-insertable otome protagonist) (neji would also be an unreliable narrator if we're in his pov. but we aren't)

[moistvonlipwig]

one of the interesting things about the student council arc is that utena's insistence that anthy is a Totally Normal Girl is, yes, her projecting her ideas about what anthy Should Be onto her and unintentionally molding anthy to fit that image, encouraged by some subtle manipulations from anthy herself (like the blatant lie about anthy Wanting More Friends), but, um, also......she's right! anthy is just a normal girl. she isn't magically beholden to obeying whoever is 'engaged' to her. she thinks of herself as the "Rose Bride" and a "doll without a heart" to cope with her situation and her abuse at akio's and the world's hands but she is in fact a human girl with wants and desires and emotions and the agency to make her own choices. yes her finding the strength to seek freedom from the system and her role in it is much more complicated than utena just telling her to tell touga she doesn't want to do it anymore, and it's good that utena got the shock to the system of losing a duel to re-evaluate how she's been approaching her relationship with anthy up to this point. but ultimately even in episode 11 when utena is arguably at her most wrong and arrogant in how she handles the situation with anthy, she is still unknowingly far more correct about anthy than touga could ever be. she really is just a normal girl named anthy himemiya.

and utena is able to recognize that even as she is in some ways very wrong about her and her situation because utena has not bought into the fundamental premise of the dueling system. touga laughs at utena when utena unintentionally 'orders' anthy to tell touga she hates being the rose bride because it's funny to him that utena doesn't get it, but it's precisely because she doesn't get it that she's able to see anthy's humanity when no one else does. utena's naivete is often the subject of derision by fans (and certainly by the other characters), and in many respects it is a character flaw that leads her astray and unintentionally hurts others. but it can also be a strength that allows her to reject false constructs that other characters take for granted as true and instead see through to the fundamental reality of anthy's situation in ways even anthy is not yet prepared to do. only a fool would think the rose bride is just a normal girl. but didn't you know? utena is a fool.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

When you point out how neurodiversity affects whole areas of the brain, not just what we see as the presentation symptoms, it seems so obvious. I've known that many neurodivergent conditions have high rate of co-morbidities, but haven't thought about what that would mean. I really liked your explanation of what else dyslexia affects, it made me recategorise some of my sister's mom behaviours. I see time blindness, some executive dysfunction, organisation difficulties and go, yup, I've got that too, it's normal, and forget that most people don't struggle with that (I've suspected I have undiagnosed ADHD for years, but never got checked for it, since I suggested it my dad freaked out, insisting there was nothing wrong with me. I really should though)

May I ask how your synaesthesia manifests for you? I'm always curious about how neurodiversity manifests in people and how it affects them, because there are so many minor and major things not talked about. I apologise if that question makes you uncomfortable, you don't have yo answer it.

Anyway, thank you for your explanation! It made a lot of things click all at once for me.

If you want lots of examples of how my synaesthesia works, I have a tag you could trawl here. But, I have a few different types; the common numbers-have-colours one, but I also get textures and sensations and feelings, and about... literally everything. Numbers, words, people's voices, names, personalities, the plots of media, images, everything.

Soooo, yeah. Sensory overload is the big impact; trial and error over the years has shown me it's primarily auditory, so if I can wear earplugs I can cope for longer in 'busy' environments. The other thing is that it really does a number on my mathematical ability, though, because, I shit you not, the colours get in the way. When I was a small child I was shown that 3 + 5 = 8, and my brain went "Yes, orange + pink = brown, got it" and ever since then if I see a 3 and a 5 together in a sum it DOES NOT MATTER what the operator is, I immediately assume the answer is 8. 3 plus 5? 8. 3 minus 5? Also 8. 3 times 5? Buddy you'll never guess. But it's 8.

It takes conscious effort not to do this T_T

The other thing is that I really, REALLY suffer from this thing where someone goes "Hey, we should watch Program X" but the problem is, you see, the problem is, I cannot stand the sensation I get from the name Program X, and therefore I will not watch it out of disgust that is totally unrelated to the actual show. This applies to all media, places, human beings, etc. (It is obviously a thing I have to be careful of when it's human beings.)

I think everything else I have is ADHD-related though, so that's probably everything I can put down to the synaesthesia.

[particlewaveform]

okok i think we should revisit Human Error VOY 7x18 with the added context that seven of nine is a lesbian now. its all about the trauma of being a borg n pushing all that down to play pretend Im Totally A Normal Human Now Im Coping! girl sees herself as the monster in the mirror and IMMEDIATELY throws herself into the most fake comphet relationship she could find - she even literally choose chakotay, calling him "an appropriate choice", like how as a kid ur classmates keep pesting you for your crush so you "choose" a boy to crush on. clearly the words of someone who hasnt 4d chessed her way into Correct Feelings. i, like many of us im sure, think the chakotay/seven romance is badly written but if we consider it instead as repressed seven trying to shove herself into a human mould amigara fault style it gets *chefs kiss*

Chakotay is Safe and Appropriate and often seen as an emotional and moral guide so who better to project "how to be a good human" onto. she doesnt even really see him as HIM this episode and hes mainly there to fufill a loving role - he never talks about himself or expresses anything of his history like he often does with janeway - hes here only as an extension of seven! they do HER hobbies, cooking and piano! he lavishes affection on HER just to lavish it! he is a ken doll for her to try out romance on essentially.

i also think its so telling especially when in the holodeck shes made up so femininely, hair flowing, makeup, tight revealing dresses, fitting herself into this Ideal of what she "should" be to be a Good and Upstanding Human - shes removed all her implants!!!! all the monster and trauma she has!!!!!!!!!

something something gays identifying with monsters something horrible is inside u that will rip n tear its way out smth smmth idk but i think we need to collectively cook with this

[xmalereader]

Simon Riley x Hybrid! Male Reader

-

|| Masterlist ||

—

Authors Note: I’m back! I want to start off by saying thank you everyone for being patient with me and for 8k followers! I know this shot isn’t long and pretty short, but I will be working on more soon. Unfortunately, at this time I am in my Hybrid era phase for some reason ( ◠‿◠ ) sooo don’t judge me. Also the beautiful artwork below belongs to @ave661 all credit goes to them please follow them because their work is amazing!

Summary: Simon finally gets to retire and get the peace that he finally needs in life, only for Laswell to convince him to take home a hybrid companion back home as company.

Warnings: Fluff, simple plot, hybrid dog reader, Simon is a softy, nightmares, mentions of service dog, military, history, short story, animal features and characteristics.

Word Count: 1.3K

—

—

Simon wasn’t one for retirement.

His whole life he thought that he would be protecting people until the day that he is shot dead in the field.

Only to end up retiring.

He wasn’t retiring because of his age, no. He was retiring for being tired of having to see so much pain and bloodshed, seeing it when he was only a child and going into adulthood something that he never stopped hearing or seeing in his life. He reached a point where he no longer wanted to deal with this blood shed and finally be able to sit back without having to worry about someone trying to kill him.

When Simon made the decision of leaving the special forces he knew it was the right choice that he ended up surprising Price. The same man that he met when he first joined the military, befriending the older man and trusting him with his life. He expected Price to reject his retirement request only for the man to give him his approval on the spot, knowing Simon well enough to know that he needed this break. This peace in his life.

When news spread that ‘Ghost’ was officially retiring it shocked the whole base to know that the most dangerous and intimidating man that the know will be leaving his military life behind for something normal. Price had helped him find a remote place for him to stay in the meantime until he decided to either leave and find somewhere else to call home or perhaps stay at the small house that Price was able to find him.

Simon thought that it would be an easy start until Laswell recommended that he get himself a ‘service dog’ or a ‘companion’ to keep him company. He was against the idea of having someone or something living in the same place as him and so soon, but Laswell had insisted to give it a try in order to have some company around in case he ever felt too isolated from society. Which he later caves into Laswells offer and agrees to have a companion of his own.

Simon expected someone that Laswell and Price knew that had the balls to stay with him until he got adjusted to having a normal life, only to come face to face with a very rare and calm German Shepherd Hybrid.

Simon had heard about Hybrids co existing with society, living their lives hiding from the others due to them being so different from others. It wasn’t until laws were established back in 2010 for Hybrids to be able to live a life like humans; getting jobs, owning homes and property along with getting an education. That didn’t mean that they were entirely free.

Hybrids still had their own set of strict rules. Any hybrid who showed signs of aggression towards a human would be locked away, still keeping them in check for years knowing that they didn’t have total control of their own biology, but after years the laws changed either getting harsher or lighter for them to cope with, reaching a point where hybrids were reaching extinction.

Many were taken, sold to black markets, slavery, or even used for their unique features caused many to go into hiding again or to slowly die off. Very few were protected, but in the end they all died.

The hybrid that Simon took with him wasn’t like the ones that he would see in public.

He was quiet and respectful of his boundaries, never doing anything that Simon didn’t like. He was technically a ‘service dog’ from what Laswell said, trained by her own special team and her wife in order to have Y/n help soldiers with trauma or perhaps those who feared being alone and in need of a friend.

Expect Simons situation was different, Y/n wasn’t just there to keep him company for a short period of time. Instead he was their permanently.

It took Simon some time to adjust to the hybrids existence whenever he woke up in the mornings only to come downstairs to see the hybrid cooking him breakfast other times he would find him outside tending to the ruined gardens, keeping himself busy while Simon focused on his own thing.

The two didn’t really converse with each other until two months into living together. It was the night that Y/n was woken up by the sound of Simons thrashing and heavy breathing that alerted him to rush into Simon’s room. He can smell the sweat and anxiety off of him along with hearing his soft murmurs, clearly showing signs of a nightmare.

When Y/n first met Simon he promised the man that he wouldn’t do anything he didn’t like and kept well to his promise until now. His own instincts were going off and couldn’t stand to the side and watch the man deal with his nightmare. So, he did the only thing he knew what to do.

Y/n had crawled into Simons bed, lying down in the empty spot next to him and moving himself closer to the bigger man, head against his chest as his ears lower in worry when he hears how fast his heart is beating. “Simon…” He whispers in a soft tone, glancing up at the man in distraught. “I’m here Simon, you’re not alone.” He adds on, keeping his head against his chest while his tail brushed up against his hip, causing a small gasp to escape his lips when he feels Simons hand take hold of his tail in his sleep. The soft fur on his tail quickly relaxing the man as his heavy breathing decreases.

The hybrid ears perk up as he listens to his heart beat, hearing it slow down to a proper rate. He stays in this position for the rest of the night without another nightmare occurring.

When Simon woke up that morning he was shocked to find Y/n in bed with him, curled up close to his chest. The warmth of the others mans body heat brings him a sense of comfort, instead of getting out of bed and waking up the hybrid he instead stays in bed a little longer, watching the other man sleep against him.

Simon hated the idea of having company for his first few weeks of retirement, but after getting used to Y/n’s presences in his life their are current things that Simon had grown adjusted to in his every day life. The smell of breakfast being made every morning by the hybrid became a familiar routine, finding the man on his hands and knees while he tends to the backyard digging up a few holes in order to plant new flowers or perhaps some fruit.

Simon favorite part of their day together was sitting outside on the porch as they watched the horizon. Simon would notice the way that Y/n’s ears would twitch as he listens to his surroundings taking in the familiar noise that he hears every morning. The way that his tail would wag whenever he sees kids running down the street with their bikes or scooters in hand, hearing as they would argue with each other and laugh.

The image alone brought a small smile to Simons lips.

Their bonded deepened with time to the point that the two were having regular day to day conversations. Y/n was no longer the closed off and shy hybrid that would be cautious when speaking with Simon and instead became someone who wasn’t afraid to speak up for himself or to be selfish every once an while.

Simon could say that he was grateful for Laswell convincing him to bring Y/n into his life, having him as a company whenever he came home or when the two would go out to run some simple errands, granting Simon the domestic life that he craved for whenever he was on missions and he finally has it

[bots-and-cons]

Do you mind writing about Knockout, Ratchet, and or Breakdown with a human reader on their period. They fee nauseous and don’t have an appetite for the first few days, really bad cramps, chest pain, and migraines too. Idk if this breaks any rules or the character limit if choosing one character is better for you there will be no complaints from me thank you for taking request 😄.

A/N: I’ve got a couple of other posts with period stuff too, you can find those, here, here, here, and here. You get four extra posts for one request lol. I decided to do just Knockout and Ratchet, seems I’m in the mood for those two lately

~Ratchet~

•For like the first two months since he first met you he noticed that for about 6 days a month, you were pretty freaking miserable

•You barely ate anything and you seemed to be in pain and all around uncomfortable

•The first time Ratchet thought that maybe you were just sick, and he didn’t really know you that well yet, so he didn’t really express that much concern

•He did ask if you were okay a couple of times, but you assured him it was nothing to worry about

•But when the whole thing repeated a month later, he thought it was weird

•When he asked again if you were okay, and told you about his observations, you realized he probably doesn’t know about periods

•You had to explain the whole thing to him, because he obviously had no idea this is a normal human bodily function

•Ratchet is of course a bit weirded out by the whole thing, but he’s not grossed out

•He just finds it wild that some humans have to deal with something like that

•And all the cramps, migraines and stuff on top of that? How do you survive this every month?

•Ratchet doesn’t consider it his problem, but he will make sure everyone else is as quiet as possible when you have a migraine and are resting in a dark room somewhere in the base

•He wants to make sure he or anyone else doesn’t make it worse

•If you show symptoms he hasn’t seen before, he will ask about it, and he makes sure you’re doing fine

•While he insists it’s not his problem and that he doesn’t have time to take care of you, he still checks on you periodically

~Knockout~

•Knockout notices you’re uncomfortable and he immediately asks you about it

•You’re leaning on a wall because you’re having a really bad cramp, and you’re just not feeling well in general

•You have to explain to Knockout that you’re not sick, you’re just having your period

•He’s like, “And what exactly is that?”

•You explain to him, it’s your uterine lining shedding and bleeding out of you

•He makes a very grossed out face for a second, before being like “Are you okay? That doesn’t sound healthy”

•You sort of chuckle, but you assure him that it’s natural, even if it totally sucks

•He asks how you cope with it, because that sounds like a mess and painful and all around not a good time

•He’s honestly kind of curious about the whole thing, even if he does find it pretty freaking weird

•How is it even possible for you to bleed for multiple days in a row? That doesn’t sound like it’s good for you

•Knockout constantly reminds you about drinking water, and he somehow got his hands on some dark chocolate for you too, because he read it might help with the cramps

•He’s worried about the migraines especially, because it seems you’re having a very, very bad time

•Knockout is worried about everything that’s making you uncomfortable, and it annoys him that he can’t really do anything about your pains or aches

[mrclairdycat]

Jayvik Headcanons! ٩( ᐛ )( ᐖ )۶

(You can use these for your fics, art or whatever, I don't mind! Tell me or tag me if you do though 'cause I'd love to see it/read it.)

Jayce is naturally good with kids. Viktor is awkward with them, but for some reason the kids love him. They often want touch or try his cane or ask curious questions and their parents deem it as disrespectful, but he always assures them they can and gladly lets them. He also loves to say playful lies like "Actually don't tell anybody this but I've acquired the powers to teleport. I just have to act like a normal human being among the public." Or, better yet, he tells them he's actually an alien. HOWEVER... Viktor hates newborns. He hates when he's forced to cradle them in his arms. Too much slobber, shit and vomit. You can't even talk to them and know there's some kind of understanding between you and them. Jayce, on the other hand, could have a baby shart in his arms and still be like "awww!" He also loves to play with them theatrically.

Viktor is a HUGE Doctor Who fan. It's basically all he ever watches. Jayce is more of a Holiday Movies guy or series with Comedy, Romance or both, especially soap operas, but he was once forced to watched Doctor Who and now he's hooked too.

Jayce is the only one who finds Viktor's dry and dark humor, especially directed at himself, funny. He finds it so refreshing since posh people's humor is extremely boring. Plus, he understands that Viktor would prefer making light of his bad situation to cope and it's not his place to tell him what to joke and not joke about.

Although they mostly lock in and work hard all night in the lab, the sleep deprivation makes them find ANYTHING funny. Sometimes they end up in an endless loop of laughing fits because both of them are so sleep deprived they can't properly say words anymore.

Speaking of, they probably share all their deepest secrets on a whim but don't remember anything the next day, as if they were totally drunk or something.

Also, they cover each other up if they find one of them has fallen asleep. Often times, however, Viktor finds himself magically spawning in his bed. He never thought much about it, figuring he was so exhausted he probably doesn't remember going home, when in reality it was Jayce that carried him home to make sure his body wouldn't be in pain in the morning.

When Viktor is mad at Jayce he abuses that disabled card. Sometimes he publically humiliates him by pretending he's a bad person that doesn't help his disabled friend with anything. In reality, if he tried to pick something that fell for him, he would be met with the smack of his cane.

Speaking of, acts of service is Jayce's way of flirting. He's an extrovert, but he's not confident at all. He never says his feelings first, just acts especially nice towards someone with numerous gifts, praise and help. Viktor thought he was just being ableist.

Again, speaking of, Viktor is more of a words of affirmation guy. However, when they got together, they have scheduled days within the week where Viktor HAS to accept help and be spoiled. He knows its Jayce's love language by now, so, even if he finds it condescending, he's happy to let him have those days to let it all out.

Sometimes Jayce presents Viktor a complex equation because he loves seeing him explain how to solve it. He just loves listening to him yap.

Viktor has a secret passion for astronomy. Can name you every star. Jayce has a secret passion for birdwatching. Can name you every bird. He'd also love falconry. Tbh he adores animals in general.

Viktor despises Astrology. Jayce loves it. He likes to piss him off by saying "You're acting like your sign right now."

Jayce loves pop and reggaeton, meanwhile Viktor thinks classical music is superior to anything else. He especially listens to it because it is scientifically proven it helps with focus. He hates when he wakes up in the morning to him cleaning and blasting El Taxi or something.

Viktor also loves theatre musicals. His favorites are Ride the Cyclone, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. He also loves plays like Hamlet or live orchestras.

Jayce is very good at cooking thanks to his mom's teachings. Plus he just really enjoys it. Viktor is the type who finds it a chore and eats only because he has to (he doesn't even do that most days). Jayce often brings extra food when he packs lunch so Viktor can have some too :) he also loves to cook for him.

Jayce is naturally good at dancing. Adores Just Dance and group dances (Viktor always wins Just Dance without even moving his legs). Viktor is naturally good at playing instruments. He likes to focus on what his hands can do so he can feel better about his bad leg.

Jayce loves head massages and scritches. He's a sucker for physical touch. Viktor likes to give him that while he's reading notes or a book.

Jayce is a dog person who has no problems with cats. Viktor is a cat person who kinda hates dogs since they drool all over the place and lick his face.

Viktor never cries, but when he does it's GUT wrenching because of all the bottled up emotions. Jayce, on the other hand, cries for absolutely anything, especially movies. He could see a child with their mom on a random stroll and shed tears saying "they're so happy :("

Ximena (Jayce's mom) adores Viktor. He always tells Jayce to invite him over whenever they can so he can spend less time alone and even encourages him to sleep over. She just can't bare the thought of someone's baby struggling on their own and not being taken care of.

Jayce mostly overthinks when he's trying to fall asleep. The silence is always broken by him spiraling saying things like "do you think I'm annoying?" simply for a stranger not responding after he complimented them or something. The thought of someone hating him drives him insane. He wants to be liked by everyone. People pleaser core.

[bunkerjking]

The emotional breakdown later in the chapter will get most of the attention, but for my money, this is the most revealing moment in this week's chapter. A teenager so disconnected from his real emotions that he desperately rationalizes his hypersexuality not as a coping mechanism, but as 'this is what guys are like.'

It's easy to make fun of men for burying their emotions and then asking, 'why doesn't anyone know who I really am' - hell, Denji literally does that during the Bomb Girl arc - but Denji is a pretty direct criticism of both the way boys can get forced into unhealthy gender roles, and the way men self-regulate themselves and others into them.

The other boys Denji is with don't have the problem of being horny at inappropriate times. They have WAY bigger problems.

But Denji can't think properly when someone dangles the idea of sex in front of him. It's like a switch flips and he becomes a completely different person.

He shuts down and reverts to trying to embody masculine stereotypes he's been ingrained with, both through the social conditioning of growing up male in the 90s and the psychological conditioning Makima put him through to strengthen 'Chainsaw Man' - itself a hyper-masculine ideal that a human being physically cannot measure up to - and emotionally cripple Denji.

Denji is at his happiest when he's at rest with the people he loves. Power and Aki were not always easy to be around, but they loved him back and they wanted him to be happy. Nayuta is a child who doesn't understand her place in the world - how could she - but she earnestly wants to help her big brother as best as she can.

He isn't some cock-swinging alpha badass constantly on the prowl to crush puss, but for a lot of people - especially a teenager who was groomed to be an expendable child soldier - this unhealthy masculine 'ideal' isn't just something to live up to, it's the expected norm for men to be.

Being Chainsaw Man doesn't make Denji mentally stronger. As shown in the Falling Devil fight, he literally chops up his brain with his chainsaws to avoid confronting his trauma. Whenever he has to think about what he's lost and what's still left to lose, he runs toward something he isn't and away from a 'normal,' healthy response to the issues at hand.

"You stupid boy."

You'll notice that Katana Man, a perfect embodiment of an overly masculine dickhead, a misogynistic moron who refuses to grow in character or even basic combat skills, is totally on board for throwing Denji in a brothel and letting what happens happens. Katana Man perfectly represents the bad ending where 'traditional masculinity' wins the war for Denji's soul.

Denji needs help. Not some quick gratification. Not a meal and a nut and a nap. He needs genuine help, and a better male role model than the ones he's got. Even Kishibe, the only adult in his life other than Aki who actually did more good than harm, is an alcoholic recluse.

God help the boy.

[ghost-bxrd]

Just found your fae!Dick tag and I’m having brain rot being totally normal over it.

As a big “Dick is a parental figure to Damian” fan I desperately need to hear more about their relationship. Especially about the time when Bruce is dead/time traveling.

Ksksks ✨

I did some Dami & Dick content earlier (just scroll through the fae tag) and I’m afraid I don’t know very much about the time where Bruce was presumed dead, but I’ll try to add some hc’s anyway 💚

Dick takes over as Damian’s father figure seamlessly. Yes, he’s grieving (fae do NOT handle loss well) but one of his coping mechanisms is to crowd his remaining family around him and not let them out of his sight

Dick’s morals are… flexible, to say the least. He does not curb Damian’s blood lust in the least and rather redirects it elsewhere. He makes him cut down on killing, but maiming is definitely still on the table if the perp deserves it

Damian is a child that had to grow up on very little physical affection. Dick, on the other hand, thrives on it. And he doesn’t care at all that Damian stabs him at every turn the first couple months.

Only once does Damian catch Dick unaware with an iron knife. Damian cries for the first time since he can remember when Dick collapses with a scream and doesn’t get back up. Jason finds them both on the floor, with Damian frantically pressing his hands to the wound and sobbing apologies.

Dick does his best to be a parent to Damian but his idea of “parenting” includes advices of murder and psychological torment. And also, unhealthy obsessions with deals and promises

Jason and Tim both agree to take over the more “human” aspect of parenting. It goes… ok.

Dick does not take Robin away from Tim. Fae know how important names and identities are, and he won’t do it without express permission. Not to family.

By the time Bruce returns from his impromptu trip through time Damian behaves more like a fae would than a human child but, well, Bruce has experience with fae children at least. He’ll manage

[kremlin]

i figure most human behaviour that, not only doesn’t occur in other animals but has zero connection to animal behavior is basically distantly rooted in the known fear of inevitable death. let me be clear. cats and shit don’t know they’re gonna die. we do. we have thoughts. we know it’s coming. we think we’re gonna be rich, bullshit like that, most humans believe in magic and most humans doubt that math is a universal or consistent thing. total nonsense right. but everyone knows their ass is gonna die. before you write me off as some dumbass reciting basic 101 level university lectures just Trust Me I’m An Engineer. anyways. being human and dying are somewhat one in the same.

“if i do nonhuman things i can cheat the reaper.” short and sweet. if i can beat zelda faster than anyone i can outrun the reaper. and you know what, fuck it, i’m scared shitless of dying. it’s gonna hurt really bad no doubt. what if the brain destroyal process makes time slow down in my perception and it’s not just like five seconds of bleeding out or fire ant bites or however you go. Scary. so i’ll play along:

i am an average american man and i enjoy bad game runescape. it’s a computer game. MMO. kill monster get loot. sell what i don’t want to other players for gold. spamming chat with “SELLING BOWSTRINGS 200gp” for an hour “sucks” so the devs add a grand exchange where you can post buy/sell orders for a given item+price to maximize gameplay efficiency and minimize social interaction.

like any other MMO you can pay some sketchy website real money for ingame gold farmer by chinese gold farmers. totally against the rules. remember this

so the first thing that comes to any male aged 23-27 mind is “buy low sell high” basic bitch shit. no good. there’s a 5% tax that’ll wipe out your profit margin intended to eliminate this behavior (you’re supposed to friggen kill monsters). but everyone thinks they’re a genius and can beat the system and that there is a secret george soros style illuminati group that is holding the secrets, blah blah blah, whatever, and this comes as a coping mechanism after losing your shirt after trying to beat the market (success rate of 0%).

here is where people mostly quit thinking: if you do the math, which takes about ten minutes and can be done on one side of a sheet of paper with the most basic calculator, it’s easy to figure out that the amount of gold you’d need to play dirty (buy out all the available Feathers or Fire Runes or whatever) in order to corner the market would be so high that there is no possible way for a character to hold that much without having spent IRL money for gold. you’d get autobanned.

SO..finally, go on the ol’ www.reddit.com, and make a really really professional-to-professional sounding post advertising a “service”. Saturate the fuck out of it with dense but very real financial jargon. the “service” (which needs to be obscured enough with plausible and relevant language) is a hedging service aimed at make-believe market players who are buying and selling such huge amounts of items and gold (usually in anticipation of a game update that will speculatively introduce a sudden, dramatic, and capitalizable price change for some item). you need it to be as alien-sounding and foreign as possible but with enough believability and clarity that a handful of reddit jackasses will figure out what the fuck your post is about. whenever pressed further, act totally puzzled and make it very clear that this is not a service relevant to “individual entertainment-motivated” players or some shit. no matter what amount of gold anyone quotes at you, just act puzzled and if that amount is 1/1000th the amount one of your “normal” clients deal with. you need to do all of this extremely artfully. and by “you”, i’ve been meaning to write “me”. really lay it on thick that whatever you’re “doing” is totally unavailable to them and that you want zero to do with them.

so now theyre still mostly totally confused but enough is made clear that their interest is piqued. got my hook in em. some guy will copy/paste wikipedia shit in an obnoxiously long and pseudointellectual, contemptible but characteristically reddit guy style what you’re “selling” actually is in the most exhausting, hand-holdingest way to his fellow reddit gamers. with complete tone of authority.

inevitably one of them will put on their sherlock holmes hat and go deep undercover, emailing me posing as an interested party. bingo. now i get to really lay on the WTF and go off the rails asking about vouchers from One Of The Big Seven, but oh no, you can’t get one of them to vouch for you, that’s fine, it makes sense, we’re the only firm that deals with unvouched, that’s our market, well, one of them at least. Just give me a rough rundown of your entry criteria, dwell time, risk tolerance, fuckin “Gamma Ratio”, you know, all the basic stuff, and i’ll have the team generate a .xlsx for you to plug your data into to get a rough feel for what the final contract might be like.

(lololol) But REMEMBER, that excel sheet is seeded, output is fuzzed and salted and if you share it or try and sell it to our competitors, it will be fuzzy enough to be worthless to them but obvious to us who leaked what. this is the only way we’re able to integrate unvouched clients without untenable premiums and while managing our risk levels

blah blah blah blah, i go on and on and on and the guy on the other end is developing a scab from constant head-scratching. and that’s about the maximum real-world harm i’m willing to inflict. i know this sounds like an elaborate as fuck confidence scam but it isn’t. that shit makes me sick. i’d literally slam my arms in a car door before taking a cent from all this. hell, i’ll go out of my way to guarantee i don’t even piss anyone off or offend them or anything.

your guess is as good as mine but i do stuff like this constantly for anything i know well enough and the example i gave above is just a pretty low quality one i made up on the spot. this is a public blog after all.

anyways, cheers, hoping this saves me from dying or whatever the hell i was talking about before that could have probably been cut out. Namaste. Mahala.

[iceclew]

SO IN CASE ANYBODY WONDERED..

here is my take on Jesper and Keith without mask/helmet.

AND SOME DOODLES

shit I fell HARD for them...

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters, neither is this by any means canon, it's just my take on what I feel I would like them to look like. Characters belong to Skyrim Tales, entirely.

*phew* it was only when I chatted with fellow simp/mutual that I realized, it would have made MUCH more sense for them to have long hair... it would fit way better in the skyrim law .........But, BEFORE I thought about that, those faces came to my mind.. Keith should have ..more northern-like traits, but ended up...weirdly roman? I have not lived down men with goatees just yet....

And Jesper is said to be not North, so i kinda played around a bit and ... yeah, whatever it is that came up to me, at this point, why am I trying to justify this, I felt locks and freckles and let's be real here I bottomed him hard in this.. like.. is there anything I forgot that would scream even more "Bottom" to you?

*silence*

...

OK so because this post IS NOT LONG ENOUGH YET DOWN BELOW ARE SOME OF MY HEADCANONS:

(Sorry for horrible spelling and grammar)

Jesper is actually a quite anxious person and copes with not taking off his helmet. Even when off-duty, or singing. Almost no one in Whiterun saw his face so far.

He is so used to wear the guard's uniform ever since childhood, everything else let's him feel right out exposed to the world. Like all of his flaws and weaknesses are presented on the plate to be played with and take advantage of by everybody around him. His face is totally fine btw, nothing unuasual but a few freckles spread across it (cause i love freckles).

The uniform and helmet is a huge confidence boost for him, and he himself is feeling much more authorical with it. Not like - gettin' into macho mansplaining mode, but rather like feeling like a normal decent human. And by now he kinda takes it to an extreme, meaning, if he was ever about to take it off in front of others, he'd just be super nervous about it, and can't keep eye contact, so he heavily tries to avoid those situations.

He believes exposing his face in conversation would make him extra vulnerable, since he is a rather touchy soul, constantly wearing his emotions on his face and he's aware of that..(can you describe it like that? idk) He got bullied a lot from young age, and with helmet on, people cannot respond to his expression and will not confront him about it as much. He is still kinda expressive and easy to read even WITH helmet on - voice and postur giving away a lot - but still mot that obvious. He still gets bullied by his collegues, but feels like it could be worse).

He loves singing, but it's like - the prime example of his problem - so he's not daring to quit being a guard, take of his helmet and become a professional singer. There are some bard festivals around, he would love to visit, but never dared to, because he would only get sad from not being able to join the singers for good.

Keith is not fond of showing his face around either. But this solemly because of his profession. But he has a rather distinctive birthmark, where people would recognize him immediatelly if seen, so mask it is.

I feel Keith would be around 5 years older or smth? And since he is kind of a night owl by profession, plus up at daytime as well, he must have the most horrible eye bags of doom, one can imagine.

yeah, that's all I got for now... I know.. I'm a lot here already....

I have so many ideas, I hope I find more time and inspiration for stuff here, I'd love to draw them together, plus the whole crew as well, I really loved today's 3am vid. <3

[nowimjustastranger]

Hello.

I am the one who asked about doing a crossover between stcmo and "You Look Like Yourself ...".

I've written a fanfiction inspired by your AUs, it's called "A chance in a billion" if you'd like to read it.

Here's the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62071840

Still love your writing.

To avoid any confusion, this work is an AU of two of my AU's mashed together and is therefore not canon to StCMO or TASB lore!

Starting off by confirming that, considering Ford 419"3 gets to other dimensions via wormholes (which travel through both space and time), it is entirely plausible that Ford 419"3 could stumble across his significantly younger twin brother in the multiverse.

The very first paragraph just really sucker punches you, especially when it's obvious that Stan is coping with humor. It sets the tone perfectly and establishes Stan's character all within a few lines of inner dialogue. The next few paragraphs give a great look into how Stan wound up in the multiverse as well as Stan and Ford's dynamic, which is clearly strained.

The fact that Stan had a gut feeling about Ford 419"3 is a nice nod to the bond between Stans and Fords, who are bound together by the universe itself to maintain balance. And Stan just straight up ditching his current Ford to go investigate Ford 419"3 is hilarious because yeah, he absolutely would.

Ugh, how soft Ford 419"3 is with Stan is everything to me, indulging him in a scan just because Stan asked him to. Ford 419"3 is a paper man for Stans, no backbone to be seen lol. And the reveal! The way Ford 419"3 just fucking freezes, which of course Stan takes as a negative reaction. The poor bby. I love how Ford 419"3 is so effortlessly gentle even when he's having and internal crisis, catching Stan's wrist in an easily breakable hold- I gdhofxzdhzzhhdgcj I'm totally normal about it, clearly.

Not possessive Ford interrupting their heartfelt reunion, lmao. Love that shit. The immediate switch from sweet and soft to deadly and homicidal is near-instant for Ford 419"3. He's extremely proficient at both close and long range combat, having trained and altered his body to better accomplish his mission. I'd even argue that, between 419"3 Ford's combat experience, body enhancements, and his ability to see into the future, he's one of the most dangerous Fords in the multiverse.

Lee to the rescue! Lee is basically the human embodiment of a chill pill. Dude has calming Ford 419"3 down to an art form, lol. I love seeing their closeness from an outsider's perspective, especially in situations where you get to see that closeness. It doesn't get much better than Ford 419"3 abruptly shifting gears and scrambling to get Lee out of the danger zone when he fearlessly puts himself between two pissed off Fords.

I'm weirdly saddened by the fact that Stan has to announce himself to the Ford he's traveling with when he touches him (and is clearly worried about being hit), but that's probably because I'm so used to Lee and Ford 419"3, who would recognize each other's touch even half dead. I'm cackling about Stan being unceremoniously hauled away though, that's top tier comedy right there.

Lee taking the lead because the Fords are currently useless in their posturing is my Roman empire. Lee is smart and resourceful, able to navigate almost any situation you throw him in.

I theorize that the Ford's aren't speaking English because they're saying some vile shit to each other and don't want Stan and Lee to overhear, lmao.

The way Lee claps back to "Scarry" with "Kiddo" made me laugh, that's so him.

Pissy Ford is being pissy, surprise surprise. Way to stalk off without even using your own scanner to confirm that you are, in fact, leaving Stan with his twin and not just some random Ford. A+ big brothering right there. Smartest dumbass alive lol.

Best believe Ford 419"3 knows that Lee's gonna be insecure about his place in Ford's life now that he found his original brother. Lee is likely to distance himself with the intention of letting the two reconnect, trying to brace himself for (in his eyes) the inevitable separation between him and Ford 419"3. There's no reason to keep Lee around anymore after all, right? Wrong bro. So wrong. Ford's got two younger brothers now as far as he's concerned.

Everything about their interaction in the nest makes me so warm and fuzzy, Stan's finally getting the contact and care that he craves. I am a puddle, your honor. I eagerly look forward to more! I'll be re-reading this often, I can already tell. Thank you for writing this!!!

[spicypepperflakesss]

💚 Post-Route Muriel | My Muriel Masterlist

How Muriel Will Act As A Father:

Happy [Belated] Father's Day, everyone!

In light of Father's Day, I thought it would be fun to think of how Muriel would act as a dad!

POV: You're the one giving birth to your child

Before being a dad, his only responsibility other than himself was you. The moment he learns that your baby is on the way, something in him snaps.

In the back of his mind, his coping mechanisms - though totally valid - meant that his trauma served as a big reason why he wouldn't go beyond his comfort zone.

But not anymore.

Interacting with people, cooking new foods, eating said new foods, going to the doctor, buying clothes, paying bills; he's taken it upon himself to get better at doing these things.

You never hear this from him, but there are rare moments you catch him walking into Julian's clinic or slipping into the marketplace by himself. When you follow him out of curiosity, you watch him try his trembling best to act out as being a normal participant in human society. It breaks your heart to watch him get discouraged when he stutters too much in dealing with vendors or staff, or struggle to even get the proper words out of his mouth.

But it warms your heart to see him step up and do his best. You know it's not your place to interfere, but you keep an eye on him anyway. Just in case. Sometimes Inanna goes with you, with her being just as curious as you are.

One sunny afternoon, you catch him slumped on a bench outside a store front. You'd never seen him look so disappointed - or ashamed in himself. Perhaps another attempt at talking with the cashier didn't go the way he expected it to - and he's had enough.

Before you could approach him, Julian walks by. Great. As if things couldn't get worse - or so Muriel thought as he tries to sink into his seat. But Julian notices anyway. You and Inanna share an amused look when the two men end up talking. Well, more like Julian talking at him. Though you can't make out the words that your red-head friend is making, Muriel slowly perks up, as if realizing something.

By the end, when they go their separate ways. A new goal forms in Muriel's mind and he makes a beeline towards wherever that goal is.

Within a few weeks, your shared home in the forest turns more into a house befitting of a small family. Though you knew some things needed to change, it's a surprise - as this much renovation would have taken a year's salary to accomplish this.

Muriel tells you that he did all of this with his two hands, from building the nursery to woodworking new dining chairs. Your heart squeezes with glee as he spares no detail in telling you how he got here. He looks so handsomely adorable in this rare moment where he talks this much.

It turns out that a certain someone told him to play to his strengths instead, and not get so hung up over his weaknesses. Whatever those weaknesses they may be, they may simply be what you, his partner, are better at than he is. And that's not a bad thing - but rather, one of the many luxuries afforded in a relationship such as the one you share with Muriel.

A few months fly by - and your child is born. Up until now, Muriel was a nervous wreck. Will he be a good dad? Can he ensure that he can carry his own weight in raising this child properly? Is he even sure that this child won't inherit the same fears and traumas he's had growing up?

It isn't until you gently place the small bundle in his arms. The first thing that surprises him is how warm the baby is in his embrace. The way their tiny chest rises and falls. Their skin is paper thin as Muriel watches their tiny heart beat for its life. So fragile. So small.

But baby doesn't like being away from you, the other parent. Opening and closing its tiny grasp, they fight against Muriel as they wriggle in frustration.

You expect Muriel to get flustered and pass them back to you. Instead, your partner's eyes soften with a kind of affection you only see him have for those he deeply cares for. He lets the baby use their tiny hand to grab their his big finger. A soft smile grows on his lips when the baby is soothed by that.

"It's okay", Muriel says, "You're gonna be okay."

Nothing warms your heart more than that. You watch him in quiet adoration as he and the baby spend a little time together like this.

And he was right. Everything turned out alright in the end

----- Hey, thanks for making it to the end! If you like this, feel free to check out my other Muriel stuff ! : My Muriel Masterlist

[lakesbian]

the more that i think about it, the more i feel like the undersiders are a really good litmus test for ability to understand/be sympathetic towards neurodivergency w/o reacting w/ hatred when it’s unpalatable. like, yes. they do in fact do a lot of violent and terrible things. but they’re from “trauma viscerally literalized as superpowers which are taken to extreme usages to better represent how devastating and emotionally total being traumatized feels” the book--it makes sense that every character is messy, it makes sense that every character does and thinks shit that extremely fucking sucks. trauma extremely fucking sucks! bitch literally tearing a man’s arm off because she’s been taught her entire life that people will always mock and hurt her for who she is and has learned to use aggression as pre-emptive defense feels significantly more relatable to what i was like when i was an autistic teenager than any quirky-funny representation of autism out there, and she’s not even explicitly autistic. 

like, yeah, taylor has a paranoid and irrational worldview. lisa is hypervigilant and secretive and manipulative. brian can barely function & still refuses to be vulnerable. aisha acts out and it being for attention doesn’t make the behavior any less grating. rachel is aggressive and stubborn and violent. alec doesn’t understand ethical or social boundaries. those are all things i’ve seen people complaining about, saying they hated those characters for it, saying that it was fucking irritating to read about. which is like...Yeah, That’s How Traumatized Teenagers Act! 

taylor had any ability to be “rational” about social interactions eroded from the years of irrational cruelty she faced. lisa micromanages her loved ones’ wellbeing because the last time she didn’t, her brother died. brian genuinely doesn’t know how to function at all if he’s not trying to be strong because it’s the only coping mechanism he’s been taught. aisha, chronically abused and neglected, is trying to assert autonomy & gain attention in the only way she knows how. rachel has learned that the only way she’ll be afforded any respect is if she takes it by force. alec says & does wildly inappropriate things because 13 years of grooming taught him it was normal. 

& yeah, all of those things suck to deal with, but that is in fact because trauma sucks to deal with. litmus test for ability to realize that and be reasonably generous about the fact instead of shitting on the involved teenagers for having a hard time being perfect people after experiencing things built to make them feel less than human.

[certifiedcodbabygirl]

I have a question for the COD fandom

TW: discussion of r@pe and fetishization

Why aren't people as upset about non-con/ rape fics as they are about the pedo fic that's recent sparked controversy? To clarify, I am absolutely appalled by that fic, it's disgusting and absolutely angering that people fantasize about even the concept. On that note, so is rape. I do understand that people who have been raped do use it as a way of coping, but is writing fiction about it not, in a way, glorifying it? Even if not intending it that way, people consuming media about it gets people more and more normalized to even the concept. Rape is one of the worst things that can happen to someone, and normalizing it in fiction, even if not intending to, is glorifying it. To get off to it is just in general unbelievably concerning. I know CNC is a kink, but that is a roleplay thing. Straight up non-con fics hold no roleplay and are instead talking about actual rape. Why is it horrifying to people that someone fantasizes and writes about pedoph!lia, but rape is totally fine? (that's rhetorical, again I absolutely detest p3doph!lia, as a survivor myself and a decent human being) Normalizing it, even in fiction, is not okay. I am a survivor of rape and to see people get off to it is so absolutely appalling. I do understand using it as a coping mechanism, but why would you even condone it being fetishized/ romanticized? I am not trying to belittle or invalidate anyone's trauma in the slightest. I do understand that with trauma can come the desire to feel in control over the situation, but there's a difference between being in control and imagining and writing about being able to get out of that situation in a different way, and fetishizing it and enjoying it. Rape should NEVER be normalized, no matter how slightly. I am not one to kink shame, but if your kink is illegal, I suggest seeking help. Of course, your consumption of media is your responsibility, not saying it isn't. All I'm saying is that romanticizing trauma is disgusting and what you publicize is open to be criticized. Thank you.