#not that it would change much since i can't quit even if i wanted to😔

[sillylittlebily]

I hate going to sleep and then waking up and then remembering I work night shifts as a restaurant waitress :(

[aaroleswapau]

Do you have any swap!franziska art? Wanna see more of her design

i unfortunately don't have any polished art of her bc i think when i drew this, my swap au hyperfixation was starting to wane, whoops! these are just some very quick sketches of what i wanted her new thing in the swap au to be.

(i will be putting old art of her old design if you want to see it under read more pftt [unfortunately not a lot of them bc i wasn't vibing with the old role i gave her so i wasn't drawing her a lot 😔])

oki doks, now time for a lore dump!!!!! (copy-pasting what i wrote on the bird app a long time ago):

ok, so the thing is, i gave a bit of redd white's role to mvk. my reasoning for that is since he's the one who killed gregory (who has mia's role), he'd have to take on that role too. when characters don't have any like, "exact" foils for their roles to be swapped with, i either make them stay the same or hobble some roles together. mvk's case was the latter.

so mvk runs a private eye that's connected to the prosecutor's office (he's corrupt bc have you seen that guy) and franziska happens to be working there.

mvk also happens to be one the people responsible for covering up the details about mia's death.

i wanted to change franziska's job from my first version of her bc she doesn't really have a connection to the supernatural, so i just gave her a job that works closely in the covering crimes too.

but yeah, fran has to meet gregory, and then she gets framed by redd white

and she's furious about it, of course! that fool works under her father, how dare he put the blame on her!

with how fran is supposedly cooperating with gregory, i think mvk would've really wanted her to catch the fall even with how much he cares about his daughter. he's an 'end justifies the means' kind of guy.

i don't think fran realizes until swap!jfa that it was her father who purposely tried to frame her and the one who ordered to kill gregory.

i think she'd feel really torn by that and the guilt with how miles defended her before knowing all that would've ate her up (the fact that gregory is dead, no spirit channeling or anything makes this more fucked up for them i think agfhhjh)

however, i still haven't figured out why franziska would agree to talk to gregory if he's investigating mia's death, and i'm not quite sure why gregory would've been investigating mia's death in the first place bc unlike mia in the regular verse, he'd have no connections to her case at least

(that would probably require some aai duology knowledge that i do not have right now ASKSKS)

my brain isn't fully working right now so i can't fully ramble on about her design, but i did think it was important to make her dress eccentric; and i know that everyone dresses eccentric in aa, but particularly that one point in turnabout sisters where april may should've remembered maya bc she dressed weird? i wanted the same for franziska ASKSKS roast her old-timey gothic looking ass!!!!!

and from my recent drawing of her, i think if i were to draw like, a polished ref for her, i would like to show the fact that her make-up is severe. again, 'eccentric' or whatever pftt

i originally had her be like a witch, some sort of seer who could communicate with the dead through her crystal ball. scrapped that and changed it bc it was just not digging my dudes asdghd a shame tho bc i'm rather fond of her big-ass veil witch hat thingy

[mikaela-the-slut-expert]

yayyyy 💕 then can i ask for a scenario in which the reader, who’s a trans guy, volunteering to be the bride in the ghost groom scenario and threatening to stab anyone who says anything about him looking like a girl with platonic feng xin + mu qing and romantic hualian? (or just xie lian, since technically hua cheng is only there for like, .5 seconds lol)

(💥 anon)

Masculine Bride?

HuaLian x ftm(?)reader

IM SO SORRY 😔 I'VE HAD THE WORST FEW MONTHS OF MY LIFE BUT I LIVE I WILL BE COMPLETING REQUESTS AGAIN THANKS FOR NOT GIVING UP ON ME AGAIN GUYS ☺️🖤

____________________________________

☀️Feng Xin didn't want to be in this ridiculous mission at all. He has to deal with Mu Qing in disguise and he has to see Xie Lian who was once his best friend. So it feels a little awkward to him but he gets to see you too! So he's quite happy to see you and Xie Lian again

☀️When he finds out that the plan is to disguise as a bride he immediately says Nuh uh. No way he's doing that, Mu Qing would never live it down.

☀️But when you offer to disguise as the bride, since you do looke somewhat androgynous he's like great!

☀️He doesn't have to do it and he can protect you if you all get in harms way

☀️Honestly he's surprised you volunteered so quickly. Feng Xin knows you'd rather stay in your male form and he knows you don't like appearing feminine much these days. Gods do it all the time so Feng Xin doesn't mind. Have you seen Shi Qingxuan?

☀️So everything was going great, they got you dressed and the one village girl did your makeup so you didn't look like a clown. But then they ran into those annoying men again.

☀️ They were congratulating Xie Lian, Mu Qing, and Feng Xin for finding a pretty bride and even wanted to join up, but they all knew the men just wanted to eat off their success.

☀️So when you laughed and explained you did make a good bride even though you're a man, No one really laughed. The men had genuinely thought you were a woman sooo they try to call your bluff.

☀️You did in fact change forms to look more like a bride but it doesn't feel good to have every single feminine feature to be pointed out. You're used to it so you weren't going to say anything but the group of men freeze and their skin pales when you hear a crack behind you

☀️Feng Xin may or may not have broken a pillar. May or may not have damaged his own temple. . .

☀️it succeeds in shutting the men up because what man is able to just break a God's pillar?!

☀️Feng Xin has to admit he's pretty irritable, but hearing the group of men bully you just pisses him off. He knows he's supposed to be in disguise and not gain your attention but he can't stand by and watch you be passive about it.

☀️ When the men practically evacuate the area you only laugh softly and link arms with him saying, "I found my guard!" You already know it's Feng Xin🙄

🌕Mu Qing was also your best friend and you never really gave him the chance to distance himself from you like he distanced himself from Xie Lian.

🌕Mu Qing has been with you a long time and he knows you're more comfortable identifying as a man. He has no issue with it. It took some time getting used to but he doesn't care as long as you're happy.

🌕so hearing the group of men start pointing you out so blatantly ticks him off. He knows he can't harm mortals but he sure wishes he could.

🌕It's not against the rules to threaten them though, so when he threatened to cut off their hand because it's rude to point isn't against the rules either.

🌕You were surprised honestly, Mu Qing doesn't care about a lot of things and doesn't usually get violent unless it's with Feng Xin.

🌕but you laugh when the group of men run off and you lean on Mu Qing. Saying you're so happy to have your own personal protector

🪷Xie Lian doesn't really fight. It's not that he can't he just doesn't see a point to do so.

🪷but that doesn't mean he'll let people bully you either

🪷 You've stuck with him for awhile so you're used to just taking mean words in stride. Xie Lian has never let them get away with it though.

🪷So it comes as a Surprise to you all when Xie Lian uses rou'ye to tie the group of men up together and he "advised them to go away before something unfortunate happens"

🪷You smiles and kiss his cheek, linking arms with him with a smile.

🪷"You're cute when you're protective"

[syrupsyche]

Chapter 3 of "Even If There Are Monsters" Director's Commentary

I wrote a Les Mis x Dracula AU! Feel free to read the commentaries for Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 first

Now onto Chapter 3!

Jean Prouvaire’s touch reminded me of our friendships and, in turn, our shared dedication in helping Enjolras recover.

One of the main "themes" of the fic was the Power of Friendship and I wanted to emphasize throughout that its only bc of the love that they have for each other that helps them get past this tragedy. Not sure if it came across well, though 😔

“I think I am dying, Cosette.”

Enjolras did not look afraid, or even sad; merely tired.

One of my favourite tropes is Character Who Knows He's Going To Die and Accepts It. Enjolras has this back in the brick, and so does Lucy in the original novel too, and so I decided to mash it together and prolong Enjolras's and his friends' suffering :-) makes it even more painful when he can't even die in peace!

“I am capable of it,” Grantaire insisted. “I have not had a drop of alcohol for a month; I eat regularly; I am healthy. Ask Bahorel; I box with him often and he can vouch for the abundance of blood I have. I have much to give. Let me give this to you.”

“It is dangerous; you do not know what you are offering.”

“I know exactly what I am offering. I offer you my life, my whole being. I will have Combeferre drain me of every drop if need be.”

“Be serious,” Enjolras snapped.

“I am wild,” Grantaire pressed.

This is, of course, a rewrite of 4.1.6: Enjolras and his Lieutenants. I can't help parodying quotes from the brick; it's my guilty pleasure :p The situation, of course, is different here: Grantaire isn't joking now when he says he would do anything, and Enjolras is reacting out of fear for him rather than annoyance. Just angst all around!

Seeing from his violent demeanour that he was French, they gave him a ticket for the furthest station the train could reach.

One of the funniest changes I've made: the original sentence stated that it was from Jonathan's violent demeanour that he was English, but Marius being French seems to fit "better" :p

My luggage is almost packed and I shall be gone in the morning; M. Courfeyrac shall accompany me. He was Marius’ first friend when he originally arrived in Paris and has been with him in every step of his courtship; he deserves to see him. If we are truly to be married there, then M. Courfeyrac shall serve as a witness too.

I had Courfeyrac get out of Cette because I needed to kill off Enjolras and I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to make sure he was alone when he was attacked. So JBR I shipped to an inn and Prouvaire off doing research, then I decided to simply incapacitate Ferre/Bahorel/Feuilly, but having Courf in there too felt too big of a group by then. And so I kicked him out <3 why I chose Courf instead of any other Amis was because he was, indeed, Marius's closest friend, and Feathraly enjoyed Courf/Marius/Cosette as a possible ship too, so that was a way I could have sprinkles of that in there (though it isn't a CANON canon ship in the fic). Alas, that meant that Courf never got to say a proper goodbye to Enjolras :'(

“You do not understand, Enjolras. I will follow you wherever you go.”

“Not even you are capable of following me past death, Grantaire.”

He fixed a terrible stare on me.

“You will see.”

This is a subtler rewrite of 4.12.3: Night begins to descend upon Grantaire. In the brick, Enjolras claims Grantaire is incapable of living, dying etc. and Grantaire tells him to wait and see. It's different here now, ofc: Enjolras instead tells Grantaire that he cannot follow Enjolras and die too, but Grantaire, since the start, seems quite adamant on not living past his death.

I am about to die; I write this note with the last of my strength. This is an exact record of what took place tonight.

Lucy's memorandum haunted me when I first read it: the knowledge that she was falling closer and closer to death, and that something has entered the house and hurt the people she loved; it shook me to the core. I changed some stuff with Enjolras's memorandum, but ultimately left him with the same sense of overwhelming dread that The End is Near.

“Speak to me,” Grantaire began to plead. “Let me hear your voice, Enjolras. I will do whatever you want me to; I can do it, I am capable of it. Simply say the word.”

If one were to read the NSFW sequel to this fic, this line appears as well, in an obviously very different context 😈. even in my PWP i have to include tragic foreshadowing 😔

I doubt I shall open this book again. I do not wish to read my notes and see only the moments when I had failed to save Enjolras. Have I told anyone this before? That I became a doctor because of my memories of him, ill in his childhood bed and unable to play and read with me? I had hoped one day to cure him of this illness that has always plagued him; I see now that I have failed.

Writing this made me sad :(( obviously readers know that it wasn't Enjolras's usual illness that killed him, it was Actual Vampire Dracula (though Combeferre does know there's something else that has caused Enjolras's death, but still believes that it was the illness that had weakened him considerably beforehand). This is where, I think, one could really feel the one-sided Enjolferre 😞😞.

And that is it for tonight! Check back tomorrow for Chapter 4!! 🤩

[ryuichirou]

Recent artworks related asks!

Since we got quite a lot of them, and my replies to these are rather short, I hope it’s okay for me to put them all in one post.

If I missed your message, I am super sorry! Thank you to everyone for your lovely words and for your support. Every asks we receive makes our day hehehe.

Alright, let’s go-

Anonymous asked:

Azul 100% had to put a leash on Idia so he wouldn’t run off, like a fucking backpack kid or hyperactive dog

(This is about this art)

Putting Idia on a leash would have been so much easier… 😔 He is so energetic and fast whenever he wants to run away from something.

Anonymous asked:

*Sees Deuce's injuries* How did he got hurt?

(This is about this art)

Oh, it’s just some dirt.

It was meant to be a post-Vargas camp thing, but honestly, these two can get into this kind of situation anytime by their own lol

Anonymous asked:

MY FIRST THOUGHT WHEN I SAW YOUR ADEUCE ART WAS "OMG SOMNO", IT DIDN'T EVEN OCCUR TO ME THAT ACE COULD ALSO BE SLEEPING

(This is about this art)

LOL ANON  YOUR KINK IS SHOWING it’s okay, Ace being asleep doesn’t change the fact that he can do stuff in his sleep…or that he isn’t pretending to be asleep lol

Honestly it’s a shame that we haven’t done anything somno-related yet.

(We do have one ask about this topic if I remember correctly, it’ll take some time for me to reply... )

Anonymous asked:

Truth to be told, ever since you posted an art of Jack and Deuce that says Jack will rail Deuce, I really can't wait to truly see Jack rail against Deuce. 😍😍😍

(This is about this art)

Today I learned the crucial difference between railing someone and railing against someone LOL

Honestly, Jack could do both, he is both righteous and horny enough.

I would love to draw a nsfw of them one day…

Anonymous asked:

Jade looks at mushrooms like Sebastian looks at cats

(This is about this art)

True, true. Well, it’s not his fault that mushroom are so perfect…

Anonymous asked:

Neige gives the vibes that he’d ask to redo the kissing scene several times cause ‘it didn’t feel right’ or something. Meanwhile Vils over here like nope it was fine can i pls leave

(This is about this art)

Ahh, the perfectionism~ And one and only moment in Vil’s life when he suffers from other person’s perfectionism and wants to leave things as they are lol Neige should get his chance and get all the kisses in the world from Vil while he still can!

[heliosrisingheroesimagines]

Hello, this maybe sudden but I really hope this super duper long message won't bother you 😭 I just really want to say my thanks and express my thoughts so it was like pouring out all at once when I wrote this.I do hope that it could reach you in someway, I'm sorry that I'm not used to Tumblr so I only know to send this thank you message through this request board but anyways---Well, I came across your blog in about this year's May because I was in a slump (?) and ran out of idea myself so I kinda started to look around to see if there's someone out there writing self-shipping content for our Helios boys, that's when I found out about your blog and gosh you don't know how happy it made me, it's maybe a bit exaggerated to say but it totally changed my whole life 😭Like, I'm a hardcore Gast yume myself and does have my own share of headcanons and thoughts about how will he treat his partner, how will he interact with his crush and other stuff but to be honest I haven't read all of Helios story (both main & event stories) but only some of them that I like so I'm not really confident in my own interpretations and headcanons about him 😔...I also don't see any other Helios' yumefans around me so I guess I can't really ask for advice or confirmation (it's also because I'm shy too) so like 😭When I read your prompts and headcanons about Gast, somehow it just really kicked in for me 😭 I did check out some of your posts about other characters too and almost all of them feel so in characters that I couldn't help but be in awe even though my main priority on Helios is Gast, and so it really boost my confidence when we were to have the same viewpoint on one some aspects 😭Like the one of Gast wouldn't like hurting his partner would be something to be expected judging from how he is before First Storm was released, but after First Storm reveal, it even made more sense that he would be like that to his loved one 😭It's really amazing that you were quite sure of that before FS release, I'm rellat impressed!And also, the first time I came to your blog and binge read all about Gast, I was giggling/smirking/rolling on my bed with the most disgusting expression on my face ever (I think) most of the time and was being super giddy giddy & floating on cloud nine all that day 😇Like it's the first time that I feel that much of happiness since I yumeshipped myself with him, and I still feel come back to reread from time to time and it still brings a smile to my face everytime 😍So in conclusion I really want to express my appreciation to you, thank you so much for opening this blog and from that I (and the other yumes that visit this blog) have a chance to come in contact with your writings!From my viewpoint I really feel that your really observe the character well and put your heart (also enjoyment) in writing all these prompts and headcanons reply to all those requests, I really appreciate your hard works, thanks again! 🫶

This message was so, so wonderful to read, because I've been going through a very difficult time in life and knowing there are others who go through rough patches but find relief via my writing makes me so incredibly happy I can't thank you enough for taking the time to write this out!

<3

[bitchy-peachy]

Update:

One of my tenants is a nurse and she's gonna help teach me how to put special shots on my stomach (my doctor prescribed shots to deal with my chemo better).

My pharmacy delivered the shots home personally and now they're in the fridge waiting for tomorrow.

I have chemo on Monday so yay I guess.

Sorry I haven't talked to anybody but I'm trying to learn how to calm myself down cos my drug induced depression really made me asocial af.

Thanks to my studies I know what's my real emotions and what are drug induced ones. I would never recommend self-diagnosis but considering the knowledge I have... yeah, I went down that route and gave my self-diagnosis to a psychiatrist as well as a med list i believed would help me and she listened to me unlike the male doctor I was given the first time.

So I'm on my way to getting better.

My steroids caused me the most hard-core depression that my teen suicidal tendencies had returned with a vengeance so bad that my head doctor had to take me off steroids earlier than expected.

I'm getting better now but now I'm starting to feel my REAL depression. No suicidal tendencies or anything... just feeling very exhausted and unworthy of the care I'm getting cos people are too damned good to my messy ass and i don't know how to handle kindness so i cry like an idiot.

It'll take awhile for the effects of the steroids to be completely out of my system and my prescribed meds to start finally kicking in so I'll be gloomy for awhile longer. (Weeks or months even. This is why I hate steroids)

I wanna handle this depression first before resuming my regular social activities again cos I feel like I'm unintentionally dragging people down into my misery and I feel even worse for it.

I don't want pretend to be happy. I want genuine happiness. My family knows when I'm faking shit. They don't like it and call me out pretty fast.

I'll need to take my percocet at 10 cos my doctor wasn't around all week and couldn't give me the pain patches that really took my hip pain away like a switch.

Strangely I'm walking better and am managing to cook, but I need my roller walker to move but I'm doing a lot stuff on my own. (Still need some assistance but not as much as before so that's good I guess)

The pain is bad when I wake up, sit on the edge of the bed and stand up. After that if I'm walking or standing for awhile... I'm fine.

Made Luthian and I some Mediterranean sandwiches since I've changed my diet for a "cancer friendly" one and we were by ourselves in the house. Turns out Luthian loves my diet so every time I say I'm preparing something, they ask me to make extra and they gobble it all up. First time I've seen them eat that fast. 🤣 Gotta sneak out of my room to make us more food since relatives don't want me outta my bed. If I had gotten busted I wouldn't been allowed to cook, lol. I like cooking new recipes as soon as I learn them (found a sweet soup dumpling recipe I wanna try. I can't fry them but I can boil for my soups and homemade sauces)

That's a good food for Luthian too. These diets not only fight cancers but also prevents them so my kid being healthier makes me a lot calmer. They tend to be picky with food and now they eat and leave the plate clean... so I guess my kid just needed different foods with different spices.

Unto other things: My arms get tired quickly but it's cos I'm using them a lot. 😔😥 I need the exercise and I know it but damn my shoulders pop so loud whenever I roll them after doing strenuous activities. My whole skeleton is an orchestra.

Then there's the tiredness.

Like "lifting my whole body weight with my noodle arms" kinda tired. (Quite literally. I'm like teke-teke lifting my entire body, useless leg and all, with my arms. If i start walking with my hands only i know Luthian would hate my guts cos they fear teke-teke big time)

Anyways, my pills are giving me hot flashes again and I feel strangely horny by myself in here. I'm hoping it passes quickly cos I know it's another drug induced thing.

Like what's up with that? My doctor told me my estrogen restricting pills could take or lower my libido completely due to early menopause (It stopped my period since last year)...

Another doctor told me I could have a different reaction sexually... like a higher sex drive despite no longer ovulating since every woman takes to hormone treatments differently.

These reactions are so damned weird.

Well that's all for now. Hopefully my chemo on Monday won't fuck me up like the last one that literally gave me a severe gastritis that had me hospitalized for 8 days. (No freaking joke. That's why I lost 40 pounds so fast. 😭)

PS: checked my newest percocet instructions and the doc had actually upped it to twice the dose in less time. Damn, I must have looked like shit... my family said I'm looking better since getting my gastritis taken care off but the doctor really went "you need stronger meds asap!"

Took them properly now. Within 40 or so minutes I'll feel numb af. Might bother people on whatsapp until I pass out. I get chatty af when on pain meds.

[beigepillow]

Hi, this is an anon with a question about Inami! Thanks for the answer!❤️ I really enjoy reading your opinions and theories)

I also wanted to add about the fact that many readers believe that Doumeki knows that Yashiro loves him. I was one of them too. But then, when I discussed all this with my friend (thanks to her for listening to everything, although she is not in the fandom😂) and she advised me to read the chapters after they meeting each other again, but only excerpts with two characters. Do not read Yashiro's mind. Do not watch or read when he is alone. But only with Doumeki. And after such an "exercise" my belief that Doumeki knows that Yashiro loves him disappeared.

Yashiro was quite cruel to him, sarcastic and also cold. Yes, we saw his real feelings: shock, pain, desire. But Doumeki didn’t see it. And although Doumeki is quite observant, his feelings for Yashiro, his own trauma can distort what he sees. I'm sure Doumeki knows that Yashiro cares about him, but nothing more. He clearly does not believe that in some situation, Yashiro will choose him. And unfortunately, so far, when viewed purely from Doumeki's side, Yashiro only confirms his fears. They broke up, to put it mildly, on a not very good note. The last conversation was with a gun to his head and cruel words. Then amnesia. A conversation with Nanahara only increased Doumeki's fear of becoming like his father, plus opened his eyes to the fact that during their first lovemaking, Doumeki injured Yashiro with his tenderness, perseverance and everything else. Therefore, now Doumeki is not cold in sex (I don’t know why so many people say that), but he does not let go of himself 100%. He knows in his head that Yashiro loves sex. He gives it to him. And yes, there are feelings during all this. But he holds them back. Because of Yashiro's trauma, because of his own trauma. And yes, since I only read their scenes, I had the feeling that Doumeki sometimes just pisses Yashiro off. And although we all understand that this is a defense mechanism, and perhaps even Doumeki understands this, it’s still hard to believe that this person loves you. And the same here with Yashiro. It's a little easier to see here, since we can't see Doumeki's Pov. Doumeki really has Yashiro at arm's length and it feels like he doesn't trust him. 😔

Sorry for such a long post!

I am glad you like my ramblings on saezuru! I often mention throughout my posts that I don’t believe Doumeki is aware of Yashiro’s feelings. Reading without looking at Yashiro’s thought is a good way to see what Doumeki is dealing with. If people think Doumeki is difficult, I don’t know what they would think of Yashiro if the shoe were on the other foot. Yashiro can be so cruel and Doumeki can sometimes bear the brunt of it. I have made many posts particularly revolving around Doumeki and I have a lot of love for his character. Yashiro needs to change to a certain extent to really be able to get his man. Doumeki tried his best and it didn’t work out. I can say so much on the topic and how our expectations affect how we see saezuru and what we think should happen.

[ardensregias]

That hc of 'your man'!!!!!!! Great,just so good,too good have a fic inspired by it. Can you please,please do a fic with alhaitham,and Dr. Ratio inspired by this one? Pleaaaaase,i want to see Alhaitham and Ratio being so oblivious of their behavior towards reader until the point they do notice and realize that they have feelings for reader and cant take it anymore and confess? Pleaseee Im begging you🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

of course <3 i'm sorry this took so long 😔😔 both are hinted to confess but the reader didn't accept or reject them.

reader is a nameless for veritas, and an assistant for alhaitham, both are gender neutral!

— veritas ratio

he's always thought highly of himself, that no one could reach his level. the doctor was also brave enough to diss even the members of the genius society, so... what changed?

ever since he gains access to the astral express' parlor car, there are two things that improved his visit: first, the archive. second, you.

you frequent the archive room whenever you're back from a mission, using dan heng's bed as your personal reading space. that was also how you two met—you leisurely manspreading on the bed with the blankets over your lap, with stack of books beside the bed.

his first impression was: why do you live like that? i like to think that veritas probably hates a messy environment, especially for studying and reading (i personally think he's a clean freak), but he decides to not disturb you and went ahead to use the data banks.

although veritas said he prefers reading physical books, he can't help but hop on the train more frequently. the scholar enjoys the peaceful atmosphere in the archive, with no idiots in sight.

and you still visit the place quite often, so veritas finds it awkward if you two are just... sitting there in silence, and he begins to chat with you.

he'll asks about what books are you reading and listen to you ramble about topics that you love. maybe if they're something he's well-versed at, he will offer you some random facts about it.

veritas finds you interesting, as he starts to pick up on your habits and stuff you do unconsciously. he doesn't usually took interest in anyone easily, yet here he is, silently staring at you instead of focusing on his notes.

he observes the way you scroll through the data banks, how you flip the pages of your books, and even the way your eyelids grew heavy the longer you read. before it could fell and get crumpled, the doctor would pick up the book in your hands and place it back where it belongs—no, totally not because he cares for you, he just doesn't want the book to tear apart, that's all.

the other nameless have noticed his 'softer' actions towards you, for example: march caught him placing the blanket over your sleeping figure when he was staying at the archive, and himeko saw how veritas' gaze was on you for the entire time you were thinking of which chess piece you wanted to move.

but one day, when veritas (surprisingly) did not come to visit the archive, you decide to have dan heng read with you, maybe sharing one book together and have your shoulder rubbing together? or have him read the story aloud as you drift off to sleep? whatever it is, the sight doesn't make veritas happy in the slightest.

when he caught you two all huddled on the bed, your head leaning on dan heng's shoulder comfortably, not even his alabaster head could conceal the anger rising to his face.

so you know what he did? he sits beside you and move your head to his shoulder instead, pettily glaring at dan heng. he doesn't want to see you cuddling with others but him now, and veritas knows he has to show you just how much better he could be.

— al-haitham

he loves to be alone, don't get him wrong. but the work of a scribe is starting to look not-so-simple and alhaitham is forced to hire a secretary—you!

your relationship was pure business. no chatter, not even small talks—a small 'good morning' and 'good evening' are all you could get from him before he puts that noise canceling headphones back on. if you told your friend that you work with him, they'll start sighing and patting you on the back.

if you happen to did something wrong, the scribe simply sighs and points out the mistakes before giving the work back to you. no yelling or tearing down the papers—as he believes that you're competent enough. if you aren't, why would the akademiya picks you to work with him?

his uncaring and aloof attitude annoy you sometimes, but it's also nice to not get have a boss that yells at you for every small mistake you made, and since this job is one that pays well, you decide to endure it.

seeing as you have improved, alhaitham will begin to let you handle more work than usual, and he surprisingly cares enough to left a note and a box of lunch for you! the note says that you can take a few breaks and to not forget to eat. and when your friends happen to find out, they'll start losing their minds over alhaitham's 'favoritism', shaking your shoulders and telling you that it was the strangest news they've heard up until now.

you brushed your friends' words off, yet alhaitham is actually starting to be more attentive to you—as you notice that he starts to leave the lunch more frequently, and he begins to talk to you more, even about the small things like your favorite book and whether you had a good sleep last night.

until one day, the lack of sleep and fatigue are catching up to you, leaving you unable to work for a day or two. you had asked your friend to tell alhaitham, but the longer they took, the more worried you get. what if he decides to fire you? the idea of sleeping beneath the akademiya's bridge did not sound appealing at all.

to your surprise, it's not your friend who came back, it's the stoic scribe, and what's even more surprising is the fact that he has a bag of medicine and fruits with him. what's gotten into him? this has like, 1% chance of happening, but here he is.

"i've heard from your friend about your ill condition." he breaks the silence, awkwardly placing the bag down before taking a seat on a chair near you, "i wish you a fast recovery."

he still spoke with that usual flat and uncaring tone, yet you know that getting those words out of him would require him to like you first, and it almost made you proud for a moment.

"will you... let me take care of you? i'd hate to see my assistant sick," he adds, reaching for the bag he brought earlier to reveal a box of porridge, "it has been a hassle to handle all those work alone," he almost sounds shy, as if he's hiding his true feelings.

truthfully, he is hiding his feelings for you. he did not realize the love gnawing on his heart, and he only managed to acknowledge it recently—thus the gifts appearing in your desk. yet he knew better than to confess now, as you're still sick and you'll probably would not believe him. he's content with waiting, just a little longer, and in the meantime, he will try to get closer to you.

[valleynix]

I am so late 😭 as much as I love how massive the chapters are I struggle to find the energy to go through such big text that requires of me to use my brain 😔 But here we go 🏃🏻‍♂️

1. Have mercy over the poor Bela 😭 She can't get any of Reader because everyone is constantly interrupting her and now THIS 😭

2. YOU NEED TO STOP HURTING ME.

But if she built it when she was a human that was a brave move to rearrange Alcina's library.

3. "Your company is better on lonesome nights."

:') my eyes are sweating

4. Idk if you ever seen it but it reminds me of that one scene in the movie "Annihilation" when there was a mutated bear that after it ate(?) a person it mimicked their voice (I mean it hardly sounded human but still) calling for help.

Both are extremely disturbing.

5. Can they shut the fuck up.

To summarise the experience of this chapter:

6. I love how Luantic begins to find comfort in Reader and they can have someone other than Miranda :( and that Reader starts to care about Lunatic. (and pls the scene when the bird Lunny lies down besides Reader and watches over the door :'))

Also I trust this little (big) traumatised bird with my life and Watcher is becoming more and more sus🤨

7. I don't have the brain to think further about what the hell happened with that strange creature chasing Reader😭 But since Dimis kinda have the beasty side of them, like when Dani or Bela are out for blood not caring about who they attack, maybe it was Reader's? Since Lunatic told them they weren't responsible for hurting Dimis this time. Idk.

8. ALSO THE WHOLE SCENE WITH MIRANDA HELLO??? HAVEN'T I CRIED ENOUGH? ??

They called her mother and her brain got an error and she went soft for a hot moment there before it was all ruined 😔 but that's gonna keep me delusional, I WANT HER FIXED I WANT THIS MESSED UP FAMILY OF BIRDS TO BE HAPPY PLEASE.

I love her too much to give up on her character 😭

9. I can barely make sense of the things that just happened there 😭 but I do like the chapter and the changes that occurred. I was crying and screaming, it was both sweet and painful.

LISTEN i want y’all to take care of yourselves first ‼️ as much as i love the analyses of these chapters, your health comes first <33

BUT ALSO WAS VERY EXCITED WHEN I GOT THIS NOTIF- onto the replies >:3

1. Bela genuinely cannot catch a break LMAO 😭 but she’ll have her time in upcoming chapters, perhaps the next one?? but that scene was lowkey really funny to write

2. MWAHAHA. and she did build it when she was human; just doesn’t remember ever doing it, but her sisters do and had kept it preserved for her :D i don’t think Alcina would have minded, since she had already considered Daniela her kid pre-experiment

3. MY BABIES I LOVE THEM

4. I HAVE SEEN THAT MOVIE- honestly forgot about it until you mentioned it but i can see the resemblance. that thing scared me for like a week straight i won’t lie 😭

5. i see some Watcher haters in the chat ‼️

6. Lunatic really does deserve to have someone that’s able to comfort and understand them :( and it’s good that it happens to be Reader who, despite all they’ve done, still finds room for them in their heart </3

7. this is a very good guess :3 i can’t quite say what it was just yet, as it would likely ruin the Surprise, but i like this theory hehehehe

8. THERE IS STILL HOPE FOR HER ‼️ i love Miranda dearly and while she IS the villain of this story, even Lunatic got a redemption, so… we shall see :) i think the family of fucked up birds deserves to be happy after all of this

9. IM REALLY GLAD YOU LIKED IT!! i apologize that is took me a hot second to get to this (work was very busy 😔), but reading your thoughts and reactions was enough to make my day a lot better :D <33 !!

[clownprince]

I don't usually reblog things with a second response since it gets So long lmao but this would absolutely not fit in the replies 😔🤘

Yeah, those instances I mentioned, I more view them as moments where he was like... almost giving Joker the opportunity to change things? Excluding TKJ which was obviously more direct. But like, with the other instances. I mean, Bruce isn't stupid. Joker would rather saw off his own arm than genuinely ask for help from anyone, especially from Batman. And Bruce knows that. So in that way they're all kind of empty gestures. Almost like Bruce is just doing it so he can say he tried.

I would say, though, that in Cacophony, Bruce might very well have been intending to offer to rehabilitate Joker (again). Joker mentions that it seems like he was hoping it would be a fresh start for them; an opportunity to change things between them, maybe get Joker to agree to actually try to get better, while he was in a (supposedly) more stable mental state. But obviously we can never know conclusively because Joker just completely demolished any hope Bruce might've had that things could be different between them.

And with the n52 instance specifically... showing Joker the playing card... I hate to say it but I really can't blame Joker that much for interpreting it like he did. Because Bruce literally just showed up, showed him the card and dipped. Like... Bruce. King. What the absolute fuck does that mean. Honestly I don't think he even fully knew what his intentions were with that; regardless of what he said to Alfred, it just seems to me like an incredibly bizarre and reckless attempt to get closer to Joker. Not even necessarily with the intent of helping him, just to get more intimate with him somehow. It's just so unhinged honestly.

And yeah, the pattern of Bruce (with some exceptions) not supporting his rogues when they turn good is definitely a pervasive one and quite... disturbing? I do think that aside from just the fear of being left alone, it's also possible there's just... the general jealousy that naturally comes from seeing people get better when you're still unwell. Like, I know from personal experience that seeing people get better while you're still stuck in mental health purgatory can be truly one of the most distressing and frustrating experiences of all time, regardless of your feelings towards those people and regardless of whether you want them to get better. This is purely speculative, really, but I can totally see Bruce just feeling bitter about it like... why do these objectively bad people get to recover while I'm still stuck in practically the same mental space I was as an 8 year old newly-orphaned child? How is that fair? Why should they get to heal?

But yeah honestly Bruce and most of his rogues have such horribly mutually-enabling relationships, it's so bad. Joker and him especially, it's like they're both holding each other underwater. The fucked up symbiotic relationship he develops with costumed criminals is always so, so upsetting to me because regardless of whether it's his existence that causes the rise in that new breed of criminals, it just gets to where he's the only one who's equipped to deal with all these insane supervillains. So it escalates to the point where even if he wanted to stop being Batman, even if he wanted to get better and live a normal life, that's not really a choice for him anymore. And I could also see that feeding into the bitterness he might feel about his rogues getting rehabilitated, like, that's not even an option for him.

And besides all of that, there really is something... bizarrely comforting about suffering with someone. Like, knowing that you're not the only one who's broken mentally. I feel like Bruce probably gets a sort of solace from his rogues in the sense that well, at least he's not the only one who's broken, at least he isn't suffering alone. They're all in the dark together. And I think that's definitely a big factor in his enabling of Joker and other rogues. I've always thought that his enabling behaviors came from an insane sort of compassion; he indulges Riddler's obsessive-compulsive tendencies, Joker's self-destructive masochism, etc. because he knows that they need it as much as he does. It's so fascinating and upsetting and mutually destructive it makes me crazy ngl. But yeah, if his rogues try to rise above their illness and genuinely get better, I definitely think that would be a terrifying thing for him because what if he's left alone suffering by himself in the darkness? Like he was before Batman, arguably. And besides that, there's also this little segment from Batman 629 that just... wow.

God, I love this scene so unbelievably much. The fact that the first person he hallucinates is Joker... Joker calling him out for keeping him alive to continue their game, calling out their similarities, how easily they could have gone down the other's path, and then possibly one of my favorite lines from any comic ever. "Where are you without me? Where are you without any of us? Damaged goods, baby! You can't hate us as much as you hate you!! It's just not possible!!"

Whew. It's so good. And horrifically true! Because without anyone to fight back against, Batman isn't a force for justice, he's not doing any good, he's just a broken little boy in a costume desperately trying to make sense of a world that's seemingly lost all of it. Without anyone to fight, he doesn't have any greater meaning, any greater purpose, he's just... damaged goods. And I fucking love how this is all coming from his head but it's so similar to some of the shit that Joker's actually said. It's just... totally proving Joker right, lmao.

Switching topics slightly, and just as a side note, yeah, the theme of Bruce (and others) dehumanizing Joker has been around like pretty much since DC was a thing, it's just around DOTF/n52 that (to my knowledge) it's been more or less a consistent attitude; there haven't been any instances of him really reaching out since the card thing in DOTF (I believe?). (However I am on my hands and knees praying that Zdarsky or someone else might change that soon.) That's why I was kinda focusing on that n52 era. Oh and I was going to bring up Secrets; the only reason I didn't is because I wanted to focus on Rebirth continuity and idk if or when Secrets is part of that continuity lol.

But anyway, even ignoring the wildly different takes of various writers, Bruce is such a contradictory mess. I do absolutely believe that he does genuinely want Joker to get better, and the same for most of his other rogues, and I do think he genuinely cares about a lot of them on some level (although canon is infuriatingly inconsistent about this), but I also do definitely think that he needs them to be the way that they are currently.

I definitely think that it's frustrating to him that he can connect with Joker the way he does but not enough to save him, and I think Joker's refusal to heal mirroring his own just adds to the frustration. I think he hates that he can't save the both of them; he hates himself for his own refusal to heal, because I mean, it's canon that he knows how fucked up he is and he doesn't want his loved ones to end up like him in that regard, but it's also pretty evident that he doesn't feel like he has the option to not be Batman at this point, he's just too far gone. And I think he also hates the parts of himself that don't want Joker to get better, that don't want either of them to get better, ever.

Acknowledging Joker as human just reminds him of all of this; it's so, so much easier to dehumanize him and ignore all of it. But it's still very much Bruce taking the easy way out, which is frustrating to see as a reader. Especially since we know that he is capable of seeing Joker as human, and there's very likely a small part of him that will never be able to fully dehumanize him. (Zdarsky. I'm on my knees. Please please Bruce character development... I am begging...)

I keep going back to Bruce's mindset in Joker War, and especially what he took away from it, because... it's fascinating how impersonal and yet helplessly personal he is, regarding Joker.

It's obvious to me Tynion has worked with Snyder, especially on works involving Batman & Joker, because Bruce barely sees Joker as a human being. It starts with the way Bruce talks about Joker when fighting the fake Designer:

-- Batman (2016) #93

Bruce equates Joker to the abyss. In a move that surprises no one, he asserts once again that others don't understand Joker-- he isn't a common serial killer, he isn't insane, he's something else.

The theme continues as the plot progresses:

-- Batman (2016) #95

I don't really like that Tynion used a flashback to Bruce and Joker's first interaction in The Man Who Laughs to establish that Joker was this incomprehensible force of evil, even then. It's an inaccurate reading of the comic, and it oversimplifies Joker. There's a lot to be said about how this approach to Joker as less of a person and just a cardboard cut-out of Pure Evil is boring, one-dimensional and has unfortunately infected a lot of people working with the character over at DC, but alas-- not trying to go into the Doylist side of things in this post.

However, the flashback mentioned is meant to tie in to Bruce's hallucination of Alfred later on, the one that gives him the strength and motivation to keep fighting:

-- Batman (2016) #98

Alfred is a figment of Bruce's mind, hence... it's Bruce who puts Joker and death on the same level. Joker is a kind of inevitable force of destruction, something he can't hate. You cannot hate a hurricane, you cannot hate an earthquake. You cannot hate death or an abyss that consumes, because that's simply its nature. What it does.

...And yet. Despite how seemingly impersonal his way of seeing Joker is, there's still a part of Bruce trying to understand, trying to make sense of Joker. There's a little story in Detective Comics detailing Bruce's thoughts during Joker War, in which we see Bruce pondering the following:

-- Detective Comics (2016) #1027 -- The Gift

"Is that the lesson?" It's reminiscent of the questions Bruce addressed Joker through the listening device planted on the corpse in Batman (2016) #93: "Why attack me like this? What are you trying to prove?".

But it's more than an inner conflict. After the conclusion of Joker War, after Bruce walks away (while knowing Joker had the tools to disarm the bomb and would not die), Bruce tells Selina his true thoughts. God bless her heart for pushing his emotionally constipated ass:

-- Batman (2016) #101

Bruce thought of everything Joker did in terms of a lesson. He's thought of Joker's actions as that for a long time now, and there's a painful paradox to it; the points Joker makes about Batman always hurt Gotham and the people around Bruce, but part of him still listens. Part of him still tries to make sense of what Joker is saying and learn. And at the end of the day, even after all the death and destruction Gotham went through as a price... he thought that Joker was right.

He even proceeds to put those lessons into practice. He moves to a townhouse in Gotham, he tries to be closer to the city and belong to it, not be apart from it. Start over, change. And yet, in his new base of operations, we get this:

-- Batman (2016) #106

Out of everything in the original Cave, all the trophies and the reminders, Bruce brought the Joker card with him. There's no other personal element in there, nothing else meant to be decorative or more than just practical. Nothing else but the card on the floor. It's especially interesting when you take into account that Fear State, the major arc that follows Joker War and Ghostmaker's introduction, is about all the ways in which a traumatic past defines or breaks people.

And yet Bruce carries this piece of the past with him. It'll never cease to fascinate me, how much Bruce intellectualizes and dehumanizes Joker, so he can avoid his personhood and the true parameters of their relationship... all while asserting to himself and to others how he's the only one Joker sees as alive in a cold dead world, how he's the only one who matters to Joker. How he's the only one who understands how Joker works, how he's the only one who can stop him.

(Don't even get me started on Miracle Molly being Joker-coded, or Khoa as a psychopathic individual on the side of good Bruce forgives murder for, because hoo boy. Actually I might make a separate post about Fear State, and then another about Ghostmaker... goddammit, brain.)

[inkly-heart]

How would Damon and DG react if they found out that MC is pregnant and who would be the better or worse father? this is just a random question I have (I had asked this question before but it was ignored 😔)

I apologize that I haven't answered to your question. I receive asks quite a lot. I do read them all and try my best to answer to them. But since I struggle a lot with writing and my mental health is what it is I try not to overwork too much because I have bad habit to start stress easily. But I never mean to ignore asks:oo There are also times when I don't even receive the ask/s so if you notice that your ask didn't get answered it's ok to send it again^^

But to your question.🙌

Damon would be better father than DG. DG doesn't really know how to deal with kids but if the kid was Damon's he would try help unless MC doesn't want him to help.xDD

And are we talking about that MC is pregnant to someone else or is it Damon's?? (DG can't get them pregnant since he's a "puppet") but lets say that it's someone else's. Damon would feel bad that the kid isn't his but he would still adopt them and take care of them. But if it's his Damon would be very excited about it.

On DG's part he's not that sure how to feel about it. He would wonder will things change a lot when the kid is born what also someway worries him.

[lifeasaninfp]

Life as an INFP

26 years old

♉☀️♍🌜♊🌡

MBTI: INFP/J

Life path 2

Enneagram 9

Chinese zodiac: the Ox 🐂

Vedic placements: ♉☀️♌🌜♉🌡

💫 I don't have any water placements in my Western astrology natal chart

💫 Dramatic aspects in my chart include: Sun opposite Pluto, and Venus opposite Pluto

💫 I've taken the MBTI test many times and originally got INFP but the last year I've consistently gotten INFJ. I feel more like an FJ but I won't change my username

💫 You can call me Cassie even though that's not my real name

💫 French/British girl living in England

💫 I have two siblings and I'm the eldest

💫 I'm 5'7, have green/blue eyes, and light brown hair

(I've actually changed my hair colour a lot, usually went blonde, then dark red, then platinum blonde, then dark brown, and now my hair has faded back to it's more natural colour)

💫 I'm currently a university student studying Psychology (going into my 3rd year this September)

💫 My dream career is to become a psychologist

💫 Growing up, I used to want to become an actress and author

💫 I only speak English fluently and French at intermediate level (pls don't roll your eyes by the fact that I should be fluent but I only learnt it for a few years growing up, hence the poor level) I want to learn other languages but it's so difficult and I don't have the time. If time, money, effort and difficulty weren't an issue, I'd want to learn Spanish, Italian and Chinese

💫 A town that will always have a special place in my heart is Sanary-sur-Mer, France 🇫🇷

💫 You can call me a crazy cat lady if you wish, I just LOVE cats 🐈 so much! 🥰

💫 I'm not a dog person but if I were to have a pet dog, it would most likely be a Corgi named Cheddar (yes that is absolutely a Brooklyn 99 reference 😂)

💫 I have aphantasia, which is the inability to form mental images/visualise. I only see darkness at the back of my eyelids. I can't comprehend how people can actually see PICTURES in their minds 🤯 this has always made it difficult to play an instrument and dance since I can't play it out and use as a reference 😔

💫 I'm kind of a hoarder because I get attached to things and don't have the heart to throw certain things away 😅

💫 As a child/teenager I used to play the classical guitar, do karate, go to drama classes, do flamenco dancing 💃 and quit all of them! I feel regret for quitting because I could have been so good by now! (Gemini rising you lil' bish! 😭 - "Jack of all trades, master of none")

💫 Growing up, school wasn't my strong suit. I found it difficult and I was also bullied. So to have eventually made it to study at university is a huge accomplishment! I've always had average to poor grades, so eventually I had to make up for it by working hard and improving my grades (by retaking some things later down the line), so this just shows that when you decide you want to do well and put your mind to it, you can achieve success.

💫 This might be due to the Gemini influence in my chart, but I don't fit into one category when it comes to my preferences. I can be super girly but then I can also be quite casual and into dark clothes and music. I don't like to fit into one stereotype, if that makes sense.

💫 I usually don't like change when it's drastic or all of a sudden, for example if a website I'm on for years suddenly changes their layout and rules, it throws me off (the Taurus in me). However, I like change if it's to do with changing my style or moving to another city/country. I can be quite adventurous!

💫 I have always suffered from poor self-esteem. I have never felt good enough, intelligent enough, pretty enough, interesting enough, and competent enough in school and work. It's a real struggle. Thanks Chiron in Libra in the 5th house!

💫 I'm kind of a hopeless romantic, I love love 💘 💕 💗 my type is someone with dark hair and light eyes, tall, intelligent and interesting, funny and sexy 😋

Favourites

Food: paella, lasagna, mussels, shrimps/prawns, sushi, churros, galette des rois (French cake), chocolate cupcakes, birthday cake, my sweet tooth will be the death of me 🤣

Ice-cream 🍦 flavour: vanilla, stracciatella, chocolate with brownie pieces 😋

Drink: coca-cola, chocolate frappucino from Starbucks, sirop de grenadine (most specifically during the summer time), lychee drink (forgot the brand name of the specific type I like), cider

Music: indie/alt rock, classical, dance, Latin-American/Spanish music

Instrument: guitar 🎸, piano 🎹 and saxophone 🎷

Bands: The Neighbourhood, Savages, The Kills, Phantogram, Placebo, The Bravery, Depeche Mode, Nothing But Thieves, holy ghost!, Beach Weather, Interpol, Amber Run, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Welshly Arms, Muse, The Amazons, The Bohicas

Colours: red, blue, yellow, light pink

Numbers: 2, 22, 222

TV shows: The Vampire Diaries, The Originals, Grimm, Hannibal, The Blacklist, Virgin River, Brooklyn 99, True Blood, Supernatural, Teen Wolf, True Detective, Criminal Minds, and a few British shows like Mock the Week

Movies: Persuasion, Pride & Prejudice, The Parent Trap, Twilight Saga (I know they're bad and cringe but I love it anyway!)

YouTube content: ASMR for sleep and relaxation, British comedy clips

ASMR creators: Batala ASMR, FrivolousFox ASMR, ASMR_Divinity, Alana ASMR, SacredXO ASMR, ATMOSPHERE

Hobbies: Zumba fitness/dancing 💃 ♥ classical guitar (used to do it but stopped a few years ago due to moving and school), writing fanfiction, baking, EATING 🙊

Season: autumn 🍂 spring 🌸

Animals: cats 🐈, cheetahs 🐆, crows 🐦, horses 🐎 flamingos 💗, dolphins 🐬

Fashion: classic, pretty, sexy (but in a classy way), mainly Elena Gilbert and Katherine Pierce fashion style from TVD

Books 📚: The Vampire Diaries (they're a guilty pleasure), Graceling trilogy, pretty much anything by author John Grisham, Bitten by Kelley Armstrong, Shatter Me trilogy ✨

Activities: going on walks, going hiking, cycling in nature

Time of the year: Halloween 🎃 and Christmas 🎄

City: York 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧

Other things I love

... medieval history, stately homes, daydreaming, writing fiction, romantic hallmark movies, charity shops, southern American accents, reading, documentaries, hiking, cycling, dancing, candles, travelling, nature, wildlife, napping 😴, photography, rain when it's warm outside, psychology, astrology, dark academia aesthetic, cottagecore, train journeys, boat rides, the beach

Controversial opinion: pineapple 🍍 on pizza is the best, hands down

Things I can't stand: liars, thieves, entitled people, hate towards anyone, bullying, injustice

Things that scare me: enclosed spaces (claustrophobia), death (my biggest fear), heights, loud fights/arguments (I hate confrontation of any kind), the deep ocean, space!, rollercoasters 🎢

Phobias: claustrophobia, and any mention of blood, gusts, veins and witnessing in person any blood 🤢🥴💀 it makes me feel weak and sick. I can't stand getting blood tests 😭, drowning

Bucket-list: travel to the USA 🇺🇸, to see some of the Southern States like Luisiana but also to see Oregon for the nature, most European countries 🇪🇺 Fiji 🇫🇯, New Zealand 🇳🇿, Iceland 🇮🇸, Machu Picchu, the Lake District 🇬🇧

What I value most: family ❤, close friendships 💛, honesty

Please don't hesitate to send me a private DM to chat about anything! (within reason) I'm not always the best at replying though, so don't think I'm purposefully ignoring you

{I've taken inspiration for this post from a few blogs for the layout, shout-out to them}

● other blogs I have: @astrologically-me @tvdstelenaforever

[marksollinger]

(holds out my hands) 18, please ?

18. what is a line/scene you’re really proud of? give us the dvd commentary for that scene.

it's hard to choose one, especially since most the scenes i'm currently proud of have yet to be published 😅 i've also deleted a lot of my past fics (literally all of them from pre-2020) which i feel a little bad about. but i also didn't want to share them anymore due to Lots of insecurities about the quality of my writing and my tastes in general 😔 and some of them were permanently deleted 🥴 i constantly have to stop indulging the temptation to burn everything down and start over lol...

as promised, though, i will provide a scene... i will actually provide two, just because the stuff i currently have posted is quite old and needs updating because i take so fucking long to finish new chapters 🙃 i can also use this as an opportunity to leak some things, heehe...

(excerpts and commentary below the cut because it's long and i want to save as many of my followers’ dashboards as possible lmao)

questions for fic writers

Before she came to rationalize the things he’d done as violently untenable acts of misplaced protection, the best hope she once had to separate herself from her father’s blood-stained legacy was to outshine her schoolmates as much and as often as possible. Julia Montag would give her foster mother something else to talk about with the neighbors and the bridge-players and the parents of her peers; she’d get fantastic grades, run cross-country, read the most books, and do all of her chores without even needing to be asked. Yes, that Julia Montag. She’d go see the therapists and counselors and she’d show every adult in her life how marvelously well-adjusted she’d become. — For Future Reference (The Magnus Archives)

so, just as a little disclaimer, i changed julia and robert's family name from "montauk" to "montag" because it's german & plenty of british people share this name, it has strong ties to a pre-existing famous work of genre-fiction (fahrenheit 451), sounds virtually fucking identical to their original surname, and is not the literal name of an indigenous tribe. it may not be the name of an author, in line with the conventions jonny followed for melanie, tim, martin, sasha, etc... and it may be from speculative fiction rather than horror but. close enough.

i have been working on this oneshot for almost a year, now, only because i am extremely unmotivated and was honestly waiting for the end of tma to come for... whatever reason... i'm nervous about diverging from canon when i write for things with large fandoms, especially ones with fans as opinionated as tma's 💀 but i loved julia. i loved her so much. i wanted to give her something. anything. and i wanted to write a conversation that was kinda-sorta hinted at in-canon, in mag 111, inspired by lines that got tangled in my mind each time i relistened to it:

julia: it’s not a… trevor doesn’t like using the book. i don’t either. makes me feel off. dead should stay dead. archivist: s-so… i mean, why keep it around? trevor: ‘cause sometimes talking to the dead can stop you joining ‘em. come on, julia...

and i simply could not stop thinking about the history of them using the book? gerry's possible conversations with julia? there's a lot that was implied that i can't help but dive into. and so i decided i'd do that with this fic. i share a lot with julia and i'm still trying to find a proper balance between canon and self-projection that i can live with but i'm getting there. slowly, but. still getting there. that said, i promise i will actually be publishing this at some point soon...

alright. next one:

“Don’t think I’m not wise to your tricks,” one of them, a woman whose profile Caroline could narrowly see over the ridge of her broad shoulders, said with a playful tone in her voice that made the grin on her lips nearly impossible not to hear. “I won that wager. You’re paying the tab.” — The Seven States of Matter, Ch. 2, "Confluent Forces" (Archive 81)

so these are vic's first words in tssom 🥰 i have more or less created an oc and slapped the name 'vic' onto her, because that's how much i love the idea of her, and how i could make her a really fun character. i am... unfortunately Not going to be writing a whole ass character meta here because i seriously have 4 chapters that outline the backstory i have assigned to her? and i don't want to spoil anything too prematurely. but i love her so much and she is a joy to write so far.

in conclusion, i am noticing that i tend to enjoy & be the most proud of writing characterization moments? which makes sense, i think. these two in particular are canon characters i'd always wanted to know more about. because i love them. writing vic has given me the chance to project a bunch and manufacture an entire character from just a name and a handful of facts (both explicit and implied). i fucking love doing that kind of thing.