#not that he's good health-wise
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Tim AU (Terminal AU)
was thinking lately about how Tim seriously needs his own mantle and that i don't like that he returned to Robin after his stint as Red Robin.... and thus this was created.
named him Terminal because of what you see up there with the definitions. Tim coming into his own hero would be the "death" or "end" of his time as Robin for good, signaling a new era for him. He had to choose this path (because he was forced to). And also, the last one really felt Tim. I wanted to see if there was a part of a camera that I could use as the name (because I am a sucker for Tim and his photography, even if it's not "canon"), and saw the terminal cover and I went looking. and here we are!
It still very much looks like his old Robin suit but that was on purpose. He's not Robin, but I don't think he would branch away from it completely (because for Dick and Jason the circumstances were different), so I think he'd keep most of the suit design, but would go with developing a lot of his own gadgetry. hence: more storage space. (seriously considering that Tim would keep adding belts and then decide to change his pants, and from there he'd start losing aspects of the Robin suit naturally and delve more into an older look.)
color scheme based off of the desert, which I think was a serious turning point for him. + the gas mask because Gotham villains LOVE to poison, gas, etc and Tim, newly spleenless, should not take any chances with that. DC why did we ignore he lost his spleen. why.
(also i am obsessed with the pen I made but I'm still doing some tweaks to it/figuring out exactly how I want it. once i figure it out i WILL be unstoppable just watch me)
#i saw some art i made literally just a few months ago and was like “what the hell is that” (bad anatomy)#i'm still figuring it out#it ALWAYS looks off to me idk why#tim drake#red robin dc#give tim drake his own mantle#terminal au#tim drake au#digital art#seriously i really don't see why he went back to robin#i feel like tim becoming his own hero would be like. a good idea for him. mental health wise...#dc#batman#batfam
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So, based on my headcanon Peeta uses both a wheelchair at home or crutches to prevent hurting both his amputated leg AND his good one.
He absolutely delights toastbabies by riding with them on his lap in the chair. They love to playfully try and push him and play in it when Peeta isn't using it. They request their own play crutches to 'walk like papa does', which of course Katniss makes them because when can she say no to her babies ever?.
#I imagine Peeta actually does really good health wise cause he knows with the amputation he has an uphill battle with his good leg#He tries to keep strong and lean while also not over using/strainning his good leg#We see him as a trainer in CF and I imagine he keeps that attitude after the war because he wants to ENJOY the peace he's sacrificed for#Everlark#Toastbabies#Peeta Mellark#Katniss Everdeen#The Hunger Games
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just found ur blog and im kind of obsessed. especially with machete,, i relate to him so much. i know youve said he has anemia, does he have chronic pain? because i would love to project my own onto him. he is so!!!!
Thank you! I'm glad you like him!
I think a lot of the time he's in varying levels of vaguely uncomfortable. He gets headaches and migraines, often from some extremely fixable bad habits like not resting or eating enough, and from stress and work related neck and shoulder tension. His eyes are very sensitive to bright lights and he doesn't see that well, so he ends up squinting more than he should, which leads to chronic eyestrain and more headaches.
#some days you just ache all over for no reason#stress mental health issues and physical exhaustion all lower your pain threshold and tolerance#so there doesn't really need to be anything seriously wrong with you health-wise if you're oversensitized enough#the pain is very real but there's no good reason for it#answered#justagaygoosehoard#he has good days and good periods but he's never in peak condition for long#and he's mostly accepted that as a fact he has to live with
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phil has always been a good looking man but the blonde has truly elevated him to another level of extreme beauty
if you asked me a year ago if phil should go blonde i'd be like no way that would look so weird and not suit him at all, and i would be 100% wrong. the man is a god now.
SO TRUEE like i'm genuinely floored every time i see a new picture or him in a video... i was gagged from the first sight admittedly i couldn't tell if it might wash him out a little in certain lighting but i couldn't be more convinced now that it was 100000% the right move for him. especially with the roots poking out now like it's just SUCH a good look i think since he wanted to do it for so long the confidence and happiness just elevates it even further he KNOWS it looks good and he's literally glowing and so so so pretty
#it's actually insane how good he looks#twunk rebirth but also the authentic happiness and comfort in his own skin#and he's doing a lot better now health wise im just so happy for him#like he's always been handsome with the emo hair with the quiff everything#but it's so true the phlonde just ELEVATED it#angel#philly#asks#anon#dnp#phlonde
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everyone agrees that the patriarchy teaches men to hide their emotions, and that this is a bad thing, so why is it that when men actually show an emotion everyone jumps to call him an abuser or manipulator or whatever :\
#99.txt#im so sick of this#you all have no faith in people. you just see the word boyfriend or he pronouns and go !!ABUSER!! DUMP HIM! and dont see how there could be#any negative reprocusions of that................#i still cant forget that ANONYMOUS message where someones boyfriend was worried they were cheating. & the person who got the ask was like#''wow HE'S definitely the one cheating.''#on an ANONYMOUS message ????? how could you possibly say that with confidence with ZERO information ?#some guy was worried and thats what you have to say ????? and you act like you have no hand in men supressing themselves ?#someone who might have had mental health problems or have been cheated on before and been hurt. like.#whoa call me a red flag or whatever for saying this but. no one would say that if it was a woman ! no one !#we all have a hand in society and we all have a hand in the patriarchy and if you dont get your head out of your ass and wise up#then ur just gona get more people hurt#i know circumstances are different sometimes but you actually DO need to consider how you would feel if the tables were turned !!!!#if you still feel the same thats fine ! it was a good thought exercise !!!#but you need to consider these things even if they are uncomfortable to you 🤨 in order to challenge your mind#this is how we get those bullshit ''crying is a manipulation tactic 🥺'' takes#im SICK OF IT !!!!!! everyone use your brain NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#stop assuming everyone is the worst person NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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feels REALLY weird to be going to our trail without sigurd for the first time ever, but healing should take priority and this weird feeling is a very human emotion that I am busy with, that he will get over once he gets a nice treat as we go.
#dogblr#sigurd#pretty sure he stepped on a cut stick that had been brushhogged while#jumping in and out of our road ditch#not the first time it's happened but boy is it annoying when it does#nothing on him seems sore save for the like inside pawpad region#if he isn't walking better in a few days we will re-examine#might give him another week off heavy work idk#id rather he be good for potential sledding health wise rather than push it now
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god its been 7 months on T. i should probably come out to my dad soon 😀 fuck. my voice is in fact dropping now noticeably so
#tongue#willing to be almost annoyingly trans to my grandparents#probs bc the rest of my moms side is chill abt me being trans thankfully#and like idc what my grandparents think abt me#but im sitting here like . what if i make my dad sad :(#hes been good health wise for a while now esp since the hear attack but i still dont wanna add more stress#i wish i could transition but also still be lily#and sometimes i still wish i could just be her. i tried to hard but i cant#i just dont want to hate myself and i dont want to upset my dad. i love him too much
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You know, sometimes I’ll think “oh I really liked reading as a child but there weren’t any books that really molded my personality.”
And then I’ll look at a self insert character I’ve made and realize it’s literally a fucking reskin of Sydney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities.
#because I’m just#the model of good mental health.#complicated relationship with love? check#complicated relationship with alcohol? check again#I literally said in front of my whole ninth grade English class that I felt this man on a personal level#and was CONFUSED WHY MY TEACHER WAS WORRIED BY THAT#me in 9th grade: yeah this man with the lowest self worth I’ve ever seen and is willing to throw his life away for the ones he loves?#me: yeah I aspire to be him because he’s just like me fr#my English teacher: *that Walter White gif of him falling over crying*#*shaking my fist* curse you Dickens you ruined me literature wise#I will never be free of this fucking English cunt’s ghost#don’t even get me STARTED on the run on sentences that bastard has kindled in my writing#if I could go back in time only once I’d use it to personally curb stomp Charles Dickens#anyways. this is the most I’ve ever talked about a self insert to someone who’s not my bff or partner#will I ever mention them again or even in more detail? we’ll see#captain's log
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#my husband surprised me with a treadmill yesterday#I’ve been wanting one but couldn’t justify the expense of it#and he found one for me 😊#excited to get back into good cardiovascular health#and not feel like I’m dying when I go up a flight of stairs#already did 2 miles#hoping to push it up to where i was before when I was in a good place health wise#which was 4 miles#if I could see my body do that then I will be very grateful for its abilities#notice there’s no diet talk here#no weight loss gimmick#I’m staying in the mindset that I’m doing this because it makes me feel good#I refuse to shame myself into being better
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Today was Flak's birthday, the big one one, eleven years! Little grumpy old-ass man.
Dug in the dirt some, harassed some people, got a peanut butter chess pie baked for him... I'd say he can't complain, but he can, he will definitely find something to complain about. (but he likes complaining too, so he can't really complain about that either)
#text#Flak#rooster#chicken#He had a rough winter health wise but has bounced back this spring#I think he was being a little dramatic and just didn't like the cold#But he was molting nonstop all winter and it was just hard on him#He's been feeling more like himself though and definitely had a good birthday
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AU Thursday: Valicer In The Dark -- Fun With Trauma
Hi all -- it's time to talk about my VITD trio again! Specifically, today we're discussing their Traumas! :D Now, "Trauma" in Blades In The Dark refers to a condition your scoundrel picks up when they max out their stress during the course of their adventure -- once they fill up all their stress boxes, they have some sort of mental break, can no longer participate in the rest of the current score, and develop a new specific personality quirk that will haunt them for the rest of the adventures. A character can develop four traumas before they have to be retired from life as a scoundrel (either literally retiring or being thrown into jail as a sacrifice to the Bluecoats). On the plus side, each new trauma is also a chance to earn extra XP -- if your character struggles with the side effects of a trauma during a score, you can mark a point or two of XP for it and level up your character a little bit faster. The book has eight potential traumas for scoundrels to pick up -- Cold, Haunted, Obsessed, Paranoid, Reckless, Soft, Unstable, and Vicious -- but as I've thought about my trio and where I want them to go (and what other systems in the book I'd like to use), I've come up with somewhat more bespoke traumas for them:
-->Alice: Our favorite Cutter actually starts with a trauma -- as I've mentioned before, I looked at the description for the Haunted trauma -- "You’re often lost in reverie, reliving past horrors, seeing things" (pg 14) -- and went "yeah, that pretty well covers her hallucinations of Wonderland." (It's the reason she also gets two starting abilities instead of just one -- trade-off!) As for her next potential trauma, I was initially considering Vicious -- "You seek out opportunities to hurt people, even for no good reason" -- but then decided that perhaps a slightly more logical one would be a tweaked form called Overprotective -- "You make sure everyone knows that what's yours is yours, to the point of violence." Alice is, of course, protective of Victor and Smiler even before she picks up this particular trauma, but afterward, she can get a little overenthusiastic about keeping danger away from them, simply because she doesn't want to lose the people she loves again. That house fire where her family died did a number on her head, after all! The pair probably have to rein her in sometimes to make sure she doesn't accidentally cause them more trouble trying to keep them safe. I don't have a specific scene in mind for what triggers it, but I know it would have to involve Victor and/or Smiler getting hurt and her just letting loose to protect them.
-->Victor: My initial ideas for a trauma for our lovely Whisper were Paranoid -- "You imagine danger everywhere; you can’t trust others" -- as the result of a particularly dangerous score that spooked him badly, or Obsessed -- "You’re enthralled by one thing: an activity, a person, an ideology" -- as the result of him getting a little too much into studying the dangerous magic of Duskwall...but then, while researching the Ritual special ability to figure out how to create new rituals for Victor to use, I found the sample ritual "Portal to the Depths" -- which involves singing an ancient song to open a portal up into the Void Sea, swamping anyone unlucky enough to be in front of it with its dark water filled with mysterious starlight and dragging them into the cold depths. The thing is, whenever someone uses this ritual, along with taking six stress, they must also tick a progress clock called "Seduced By The Leviathan's Song."
Cue me coming up with a scene where Victor, having filled up that progress clock, is with Alice and Smiler at The Docks (yes, this the name of a neighborhood in the city; it is self-explanatory) -- and ends up getting mind-controlled by the song of a nearby Leviathan into nearly walking off one of said docks to either drown or get devoured. Fortunately, this is after the trio have started playing with hypnosis in their private lives, and Smiler and Alice are able to stop him in his tracks by invoking their control over his mind -- but the experience leaves Victor with the custom trauma Phobia -- "You are terrified of a particular person, thing, or place and refuse to be near it." As you might imagine, Victor's terror revolves around the ocean, and he refuses to be anywhere near it if he can -- no more scores involving The Docks for this trio!
-->Smiler: Deciding on any trauma conditions for our cheerful combination Leech/Slide was a bit tricky for me at first -- not only is Smiler a naturally-cheery person who takes a lot of things that would stress out others in stride (see them very casually talking to ghosts in "Start At The Beginning...Sort Of"), they also of course end up in possession of the ability Functioning Vice, which allows them to adjust how much stress they clear when indulging their Vice and makes emptying out that track between scores a lot easier. I really wasn't sure which of the ones on offer would actually fit them --
And then. While reading through the "Changing The Game" section of the book, I stumbled across the "Forgotten Gods" section in "Advanced Abilities and Permissions." Which details what happens when your character opens their mind to a forgotten god -- including access to the ability Glorious Visage, which allows the character to hit everyone in the vicinity with an image of the god's form, costing them three stress and causing everyone around them to at least flee in fear or be paralyzed with dread. The more traumatized the character, the more harm they can do, up to killing a specific person by shattering their mind. I was like "Oooooo, wow, creepy but neat" --
And then I was like "Smiler's already been touched by their god..."
Cue the creation of the custom trauma Vessel -- "Your body is capable of hosting the will of a forgotten god -- and they know it." The way I see this working for Smiler is, the first time they overmax their stress, their god Mar-Mal sees this, is like "!!! Let me help!" and straight-up possesses their body for the rest of the score. Fortunately they do leave once the danger is passed -- helped by Victor and Alice going "It would make us VERY HAPPY if you gave us Smiler back" -- and Smiler recovers from the experience, but the door has been opened in their head, and it's not being shut anytime soon. The trauma automatically gives them access to the customized special ability Joyous Visage -- where Smiler can use Mar-Mal's power to stun people with happiness (it works a bit like the "Hysteria" power in VTMB's version of the Dementation discipline, with people getting completely incapacitated by laughter) -- but every time Smiler uses that power, a die must be rolled. On a six, they use the power safely and only take two stress; on a five through two, they use the power but Mar-Mal takes an interest in the proceedings, forcing them to take three stress; and on a one, Mar-Mal is like "time to take over again!" and possesses their body for the rest of the score. On the plus side, Mar-Mal automatically succeeds at everything they do while in control of Smiler's body (they are a fucking god, after all); on the minus side, when they leave, Smiler has to deal with Level 2 "Post-Possession Exhaustion" harm (because hosting the power of a god is no joke). Smiler has mixed feelings about this whole situation -- on the one hand, they're super excited that they can host the will of their god and not die, but on the other...they are a little scared that maybe, one day, Mar-Mal won't give their body back...
And there we have it -- three lovely traumas for my characters to suffer with! I don't know yet when they'll come into play during all the various stories I have planned, but they are there when I need them! I'm sure the trio are thrilled. XD
#valicer in the dark au#worldbuilding#valicer#blades in the dark#trauma conditions#because sometimes the trauma on offer is just not good enough#and you have to come up with fun new agonies for your favorite characters XD#I actually came up with these in reverse order of how they're presented#Smiler's possession problems first then Victor's phobia#and then Alice's overprotectiveness very recently#hence why Alice doesn't have any fun scenes or extra write-ups to go with hers#it's also arguably the simplest of the group#as it could be triggered by any scene that makes it looks like her boyfriend and metamour are about to die#oooh I should probably do the moment with her going into Hysteria mode in her head#that would be very appropriate#instead of her own low health triggering it its theirs#yeah I like that#as for Victor's ritual he gets four uses of it until he fills up that clock#better use them wisely Victor!#I mean given the stress cost it really is something that should only be used for emergencies soo#and I AM gonna try and not overtax them TOO quickly#don't want the stress economy to end up in shambles#I mean Smiler already has fewer stress boxes thanks to my decision to trade a couple for that dot in Attune#sooo yeah#we'll see how it all works out in the fiction!#queued
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#it feels so weird 2 have people think i look good#like fully its just- weird 4 me lmao#like my dads one of those ppl who started out really cool and then became like conservative as all fuck#like b4 i was born hed help special ed kids n that kinda stuff n did drugs n was fun#but man#as i got older my dad became horrible- he literally called me the r-slur when i came out n shit#n got REALLY into 'health' but by health i mean fads diets eds etc- causing me 2 gain some- but also he like hammered in you couldnt be#loved if ur fat- even my my own stepmom (his wife) said he didnt really like her body the most bc he thought she was 2 fat- this women has a#huge rack and is 6ft and literally wasnt fat at all- like i need yall 2 understand she was average size wise- hell maybe even a bit skinnier#than that- so its like- 2 say ive stuggled with self image and body issues is an understatement so itts like??? people think i look good???#they like me?????#Whomst tf???
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legs & lessons in perseverance | march '23
#so.#i fell into the fireplace lol#- thats the concise summary. but ive just been unwell health wise recently. i think ms is just harrowing to deal with#because you can go for so long symptom free and then one day you wake up and everything is wrong#your body feels wrong.#i remember being constantly angry at my body as though its a separate entity. especially when i was like 17/18.#because everytime i had a bad ms relapse i would literally breakdown in angry tears like- at my body. i was good to you. im meditating#im eating healthy. im exercising. ive been good to you.#but then suddenly you cant see or youre shaking uncontrollably or your limbs are numb#or my new favourite one: a couple of weeks ago i woke up at 4 am in a cold sweat. the inside of my thigh was burning#i dont mean like. exercise burning. i mean like struck a hot iron rod burning. it was obv nerve pain but that didnt stave off the panic#so i messaged my neurologist and hes like 'yeah its fine. wanna inject yourself?'#anyway. so recently i was helping my friend get his place houseparty ready and we were cleaning out the fire place#and my legs just gave out 😍#and i got so angry and humiliated i kind of just wanted to go to bed and not wake up tbh#which is what i usually do but like. i was angry. angry. scorpio angry as lidya would say. so i had a nap in his bed#and when i woke up i felt slightly better and for once i thought 'im not going to let my body ruin this day for me'#and i just dragged him to the markets with me. and i still had the tremors but we bought more greens than either of us needed#and we laughed and walked and he carried me to the car at the end of the trip and it was one of the best days ive had in a long while tbh#and it feels impossible but sometimes all u need is to brush the ash from ur knees and hide the scruffs with stockings &maybe youll be ok#💚#tw chronic illness#/ multiple sclerosis
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uuuhhhhh wrote a segment of the ganonbeck thing on my phone (this whole thing isnt written on my phone i just have future scenes hashed out on phone) so i figured id share it for: giving a snippet of it bc why not, and to maybe get some feedback on writing ganondorf and the specific concept he talks about?
(this isnt indicatives of the whole fic just a scene delving into ganondorf’s personal conflicts and a little bit of worldbuilding or something. would appreciate some feedback or tips or whatever on this since im not sure if. i wrote this idea well. also hope its generally interesting/fun to read)
#salty talks#tbh tho i think this does kinda set up the dynamic between them and why ganondorf is drawn to linebeck maybe#linebeck is. hes funny in a good mood. he helps lighten ganondorfs mood and helps him disengage from serious stuff#he is also supportive of him fucking killing the king of hyrule. but hes mostly someone that helps ganondorf loosen up#ganondorf is this cunning wise man who holds lofty ambitions and is influenced by the history of his people and lets it motivate him#and linebeck is the image of the cat with the label ‘father i crave violence’ hes a lil ooc and chaotic but he thinks the hylian king sucks#this fic is mostly a lighthearted gay little thing where theyre both in lighter moods exploring the desert#but does have snippets like this about ganondorfs discontent with the hylian kingdom and linebeck struggling with his mental health#making it so it doesnt really exist in a vacuum and can feed into a possible future longer au fic idea#tbh been leaning into linebeck having a similar distaste for the hylian monarchy to ganondorf and carrying it into post ph#which fits in neatly with the headcanon that he is half gerudo so. pieces fitting together#this is mostly unedited btw so if it comes off as rough then yeah. its a first draft#topical with people talking more about the uncomfy way the zelda games approach imperialism n stuff#so i mostly worry about how i write about it here cuz its a concept im still new to and not sure how to really approach#if you saw the version with the images in the wrong order no you didnt#but seriously please let me know how i did writing what ganondorf talks about handling him is scary to me and i want to do good#ganonbeck#linebeck#ganondorf#they are tagged now rejoice
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doinfg ssp good
#i cant access discord right now and i cried so muchj my eyes areswollen halfway shut#executive dysfunvtion sucks#also my dad threatened to record me habving an autistic meltodwn for the third time lol#i dont think he likes me#man just after i was done saying that i like my parents and theyre nice <//3#thank you my parents for being mad whenever i show signs of distress i am sorry for being selfish and having one of the worst meltdownsever#i was doing so good lately ive been so good mental health wise#ug uys can reply to this i dont care i just needed to say something somewhere i dont know ive cried and screamed so much i cant even really#process things right now
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the only things on my mind this week has been ‘i wanna kiss i wanna kiss i wanna kiss i wanna kiss’ and ‘OMG I LOVE MY CAT SM I HOPE I CAN KEEP HER ^_^’
here r more pictures !!!!! and a really funny gif of her lol she had catnip Probably for the first time (i assume?) and she was KNOCKED out after… eepy girl
#kitty talks#i can get her checked for anything friday and then in like a few weeks-months i can know if she doesnt belong to anybody and i can adopt her#i really hope so….. lately i’be iust been feeling good despite feeling bad. and its so weird. cat has done a lot mental health wise#and im definitely gonna start being cleaner and not have depressive episodes where i give up on sorting my things and throwing ny trash away#i hooe everythings gonna be okay. and i hope this cat is healthy. and i hope we have lots of fun together#and i hope i do kiss#i cant believe i have to he him her in a cis way at the vet… they dont know its gender like i do….
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