#not talking abt what they did to Five or the ending I am not ready emotionally

[highlyincorrect]

The Schrödingers Cat Experiment of simultaneous states was invented to describe how I feel abt Umbrella Academy Season 4

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR YOU. HOW DID ARISUGU MEET?🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤 i am now steadily dragging everybody into this selfship playground hehehehhee ilysm<33 - @teddybeartoji

MICKEY!!!!!!!!……. welcome :3 take a seat :33 have some tea :333 🍵🍪 i’ve been Thinking abt this ask. intently. i got Way too into it btw

i think!! arisugu met in high school!! that makes most sense to me :> i transferred into his class and got attached to him …. pretty quickly probably. LMAO. i can see suguru being the one who gets assigned to show me around bc satoru Cannot be trusted w new students and shoko is a delinquent in the making…. so sugu is probably the one i meet first :3 and then i subtly imprint on him. like a duckling. a little ari following him around bc he has a soft silky voice. and he gets a bit of a soft spot eventually (me and the bad bitch i pulled by being socially incompetent <33)

WITH THAT BEING SAID…….. i see arisugu as The slowburn ever. neither of us are the love at first sight type, so i think it’d take a year or two for us to actually Fall in Love…. a year of getting to know each other on a deeper and more vulnerable level (ON THAT NOTE. late-night talks under starry skies are extremely arisugu coded)… so the feelings are very deep but. even though they’re mutual i don’t think we’d get together until a couple years have passed 😭😭 sugu would get tired of the ”chase” eventually and confess in our last year of hs maybe…. but i am Not Ready to accept his feelings. or my own. and i tell him that.

and so … he waits :’3 (WILLINGLY MIGHT I ADD i just think he’s the type of guy to say ”i’ll wait for you.” and Mean it yk….) until i eventually make the final push in like. our early twenties maybe…. which would mean about five total years of pining?? ish??? i just see it as a very tender, very very slow romance!! kinda like wading into deep water when you’re afraid of it. but by the time we get together we already know and trust each other so deeply that the change isn’t really too abrupt….. though he insists on taking everything at our own pace anyway. sniffle. i adore him (ALSO needless to say i’m not following canon here 🤨🤨 i firmly believe sugu wouldn’t have defected if he had a baby duckling following him around ok)

anyway. that’s how i picture it!! :3 i have Thoughts abt the overall dynamic but i think suguru is just… so patient. and so devoted. and i’m very loyal and also Very Shy. yepyep.

now . 😇 you didn’t ask for this but just as a comparison (<- this is a lie i just spent 2 much time thinking abt this)…. arigojo. i fear it’s a coworkers to lovers kinda deal. i’m Very Much picturing blindfolded gojo specifically and bc of his…. ways (crippling fear of intimacy + opening up) this is also another slowburn. and it ends with something a little less straightforward than arisugu bc i do Not think gojo asks me out…. it’s more of a gradual change yk?? bc labels are scary. but one day i don’t let him eat my portion of kikufuku and he goes ”how could you treat your boyfriend like this ;((” and i’m like . oh ok. so that’s what you are. we’re both losers sadly

ANYWAYYY THAT’S ALL i hope you didn’t run out of tea….. have some more just in case 🍵 as you can tell i had too much fun thinking of the Lore + all three of us are emotionally constipated (suguru too he’s just the most functional) but i hope reading it was enjoyable for youuu <33333 i love them. unfortunately.

[sneezemonster15]

A lot of adults women behave like incels but less violent and more manipulative. They usually love the cringe romance movies where the main girl is average looking and not like the other girls and manage to make the badboy soft. Generally they hate hot girls bc they are jealous (see the way Skr stans talk abt Ino and feel victorious bc they "won" against her, the hot girl). Those women are full of insecurities, thats why Skr is so relatable.

The way Skr tries to not think about the fact Sske dont wanna spend time with her is the same way some irl women ignore that their husbands are cheating, and if they cant ignore it they will attack the other women but they will NEVER leave the guy. All their self worth is based on having a bf/husband.

Then there are some lesbian/bi women who stan her as an act of feminism. She is a female character who got what she wanted so its a win apparently. Fortunatly those ppl are minority bc as a queer woman and feminist, it is very embarrassing to read those takes. I'm all for uplifting women and for them to get everything they desire but not at the expense of non sexist men. Plus, Skr dont even look so happy at the end of the day. So is it really a win for her and women?

Yeah that makes sense. But it's sad isn't it? Because even trying to have a dialogue with them isn't helpful. There's no point having it if they aren't ready to be receptive to it.

Sakura really sees no contradiction between what she says and what she does.

And yet...

Lol. Till only two days ago, she was found styling her hair in the middle of chuunin exams, all skinned knees and having suffered minor injuries, while her team mates were working. She let her hair grow in the first place because she thought Sasuke liked it. Lol.

What impression can it possibly give to the reader? Kishi had to stress on it too, with another character this time.

Why would Kishi stress so much on Sakura and her obsession with her hair, just to make her say something totally hypocritical five chapters down? Lol. Kishi is very clever about writing his characters act according to the character traits given to them. Like for example, the panel below, Kakashi acts according to his character (where he has a blindspot for Sakura's negative shades) thinks Sakura is not the type to brag when she is actually exactly the type to brag.

Lol, Sakura's whole personality is about being obsessive for Sasuke which in turn makes her violently jealous of Naruto and Ino. She beats Naruto up regularly for no apparent reason and harasses Ino, even though that girl did nothing but try to help her. And she brags, it's the only thing she does properly. Lol.

And yet, she is always bragging, showing off. From start to end.

And I am positive I am missing some panels here lol. She is always looking for external validation. She revels in it. While external validation itself is not a bad thing, since humans need some amount of external validation to measure their abilities, and Naruto does it too, but for him, it's rooted in his quest for acknowledgement and acceptance, so he could make friends and not be ostracized from community. Sakura does it because of her ego. While Naruto has his principles rooted in his belief systems, his emotions and his dream that egg him on to do better, Sakura finds her motivation in the desire to show off and impress people, mostly Sasuke.

She disrespects Ino, Tsunade, and she fights Kaguya while she says this?

Girl, why are you so embarrassing? If you wanna attack her, just do it. Why even mention her being a woman? She wasn't mocking you, she barely even noticed you. You aren't worthy enough for her to notice.

Lol. And things she says about being a woman are just so cringe lol.

No one underestimates her because she is a girl, in fact Kakashi coddles her because she is a girl. She is underestimated because despite training, she is just weak and unskilled, as compared to her cohorts. And if she is skillful, we don't see it in the same proportion measured against the way she talks about herself. Tsunade never had to sing about her being a woman and yet people are bloody scared of her strength. Temari never had to mention it, neither did Kushina. Chiyo certainly briefly talks about how women always get the short end of the stick in their male driven society, but she not only belongs to a much older generation that has seen a hell lot, she is a master puppeteer and a superior warrior in her own right, she has earned it.

It would have been fine if only Sakura had actually consistently kept her word, proven herself through actions and not just empty words. Because when she doesn't, it reduces the value of those words. I don't know if she really meant it when she said women were fickle. Who? Tsunade? Kushina? Chiyo? Temari? Nope, they didn't give any such impression.

She constantly condescends to Naruto despite him having proved himself to be skillful, strong, the one who wins team seven several battles while she stands in a corner shaking and sweating. Thing is, she realises she makes mistakes. She acknowledges Naruto's strength as well, but she doesn't do anything to change. The whole point of a realization is to work on it and correct your behaviour. She is condescending towards Naruto till the end. Konohamaru takes her down a peg when she is being disparaging towards him and Naruto when they are doing the oiroke jutsu contest. She even hits Konohamaru, and he gets pissed off. So he makes a reverse oiroke jutsu just to show her true face, and that face has a streak of blood trickling down her nose lol. But when Naruto uses it against Kaguya, she again condescends to him. Narusakus are kinda embarrassing tbh, Sakura doesn't get Naruto. She thinks she does but she doesn't. She thinks she gets Sasuke but she obviously doesn't. And yet, she makes her 'strategies' in kage arc around her knowledge of Naruto and fake confesses to him. Naruto rejects her. Lol. She goes to Sasuke and tries to kill him (with a kunai...) by tricking him, only to be attacked, twice. Even when she drugs her cohorts before going to Sasuke, they clock her real plan. Lol.

She overestimates herself, even though it's clear that if she only thought things through, she would be much more successful. She is really blind to her own shortcomings even though she tries but remains unsuccessful, which is even sadder.

She does know Sasuke doesn't wanna spend time with her, she also gets a sense that she will always be much lesser than Naruto in Sasuke's eyes, she knows but she doesn't care. Even if it means long term misery for everyone involved.

Yes, I am sure some women find her character relatable. But relatable doesn't mean everything. I relate to Sasuke and I am very wary of establishing emotional connections but I know it's not something ideal or healthy. Connection is what people thrive on. If I ever started to relate with Sakura, I would really be compelled to take a hard look at myself. Lol.

[equalseleventhirds]

i hope you'll excuse me while i wax poetic about welcome to night vale, bcos i'm feelin sappy abt it rn and it's late and i am. emotions. u kno.

bcos when i first started listening to wtnv, it felt like coming home, in a way that actually physically going home never did. bcos i was isolated and strange then--yes, bcos i was young and newly figuring out my queerness and cecil helped me feel better about that, but also like

i felt strange, you know? like god yeah i know i'm not special, but i struggled with fitting in. had weird interests. head in the clouds. dressed funny. talked funny. at weird food no one else liked. didn't get social cues. did strange things, had unusual behaviors or movements or whatever. got called annoying and weird a lot. couldn't keep hold of friends, or a home, or a job, for a while, sometimes bcos they left me and sometimes bcos i left them for not very good reasons. cycled through different ones regularly, until i lost them. had dreams too big and unreachable, and tried my best to settle for what i could reach, even if i didn't love it, and still couldn't quite hold on.

and ok yeah some of that was neurodivergence (undiagnosed), and some of it was queerness, and some of it was cultural stuff goin on, and some of it was just that like, i was in my early 20s and moved far away from home without much in the way of support, right

but night vale took weirdness--my kind of weirdness, or other kinds of weirdness, spooky or horrifying or just deeply deeply strange--and embraced it. made it normal. made it all the same, all accepted. i felt like that was a place i would be allowed to be myself, because who cares if you dress weird or talk weird or whatever when there's five-headed dragons and angels and monster librarians? and what better place to put too-big-too-unreachable-too-odd-to-be-real dreams than somewhere like night vale, where big unreachable odd dreams are part of everyday life?

and through it all cecil speaking soothingly in my ears as i went about my uncomfortable, unfitting daily life, telling me things about community and togetherness and hope amidst the endless trials and void. of course that was the voice i listened to all the time. of course.

the first time i stopped listening to wtnv, it did sort of coincide with some big changes in my life, but more than that: i had become afraid that night vale would be un-weirded. some characters in canon had started to question some of what had previously been standard in town, and they were around some anniversaries, and i was, actually, pretty used to a lot of 'big magic adventure' media that ended with the heroes going home to mundanity, the lesson being about growing up or whatever. and i was so afraid that night vale would do that and take that away from me, so i drifted away and found other things.

and then i did go back and started listening again, and they never did any of that. they had some arcs about accountability, about changing old traditions for better ones, about examining beliefs, but never in a way that took away night vale's weirdness. there was always more, newer, better weirdness to come. and i fell in love with the show all over again.

(the second time i stopped listening was just bcos i was too busy, and i rly have just a handful of episodes to catch back up on. but even when i left, night vale was still there, waiting, ready to welcome me back.

i'm doing a little better with life and stuff now, made better friends, got a better home, found a better job, learned about myself a bit more, started chasing some of those big dreams and damn but i'm doin ok at it. but still night vale is a comfort and a joy to me, a strange little home i love.)

[earthtooz]

HOW DID YIU GET BANNED FROM TAGS IS TUMBLR HATECRIMING YOU💔💔😭

tumblr pls admit it, do you not like me cuz i’m poc :( is that why you ban me from tags :( is it cuz i’m gay too :( HATECRIME!!!! (I am kidding pls don’t ban me again)

okay in all seriousness, I DON’T KNOW WHY TUMBLR JUST GLITCHES ME OUT SOMETIMES????

anon you are in for a ramble bc you are so iconic and beautiful to have popped up like this, but tumblr is such a broken site istg !!!

it’s so common for tumblr to not allow you to show up on tags during periods of inactivity and all that, so that’s why i always post a ‘checking tags’ post when it’s been like five days since i last let tumblr know i was breathing and thriving !!!

BUT THIS IS MY PERSPECTIVE:

I WAS LIKE ‘hey let me check where my bkg fic is and how it’s doing cuz like why not’ AND I CANNOT FIND IT ANYWHERE IN THE TAGS ??? it then makes sense that i just suddenly stopped getting notifications bc people weren’t discovering the post either !!!! it’s not like i’m inactive either - i literally post shit on the dash everyday bc i’m talkative???

the other red flag is that not even three hours before this happened, i was automatically logged out of tumblr??? for no reason??? this happens sometimes but i have no idea why and it’s freaky every time it occurs.

and so i’m like ‘aw man, that sucks :( i’m gonna input every tag again one by one on the post to see if it shows up’ (and it does eventually), but i was so ready for my recent bakugo fic to just be a secret between me and my followers bc it could not be discovered any other way…

it’s not abt the notes at all, i mean WERK I LOVE GETTING APPRECIATION FOR MY WRITING, but tags is one of the main ways you can get discovered on tumblr and i love finding other simps !! not having that visibility is scary bc what’s even more freaky is that not showing up on tags or search means that you could have been shadowbanned for a reason that tumblr won’t disclose !!!

but turns out i’m not shadowbanned and i don’t know what happened, but i’m back in the tags 😁😁😁 you can see me again !!! yay !!!!

anyways if you made it to the end of this shitpost, i have three things to say:

1) if you are a new writer on tumblr, just know that you might have to fight against the tags before they become your friend !!!

2) thank you for sticking with me til the end, if you made it this far you should talk to me in the inbox bc i love talking, u can even send me (sfw) brainrots abt any character and i’ll hype you up fr fr! we are one and united on the earthtooz blog okay !!

3) i Hope you have a good day anon and thank you for taking the time to be so INCREDIBLE and drop by in da inbox. i hope u have a good day/night and remember to take care of yourself <3

[cas-rivaille]

Hi! Can I request a obey me hc where the MC is a leader of a very big mafia gang in the human world?

YES !??!?

(ahaha this def isn't the plot of one of my scripts where i run a mafia gang because i thought it would be cool and it's amazing you requested this)

tags: mentions of weapons, mild swearing, protective brothers and datables (i didn't include luke because it's a mafia gang thing and he's precious child and i want abt to put him in harms way)

a/n: i also didn't write the thoughts for dia, barb, simeon, or solomon because i honestly couldn't think of anything i'm sorry

MC as a Mafia leader in the human world

When you came to the Devildom, you were in another world, rendering everything in the human world useless. You spent so much time trying to adjust, that your life in the human world was almost forgotten.

Almost.

It wasn't long before Lord Diavolo announced you would be going on a trip to the human world. Suddenly you remembered everything you would go back to. If only you were aware of the chaos that would unfold. When you got to the human world, in your town you previously lived in, there was maybe a minute of peace before chaos erupted.

Once you stepped out of the alleyway that Diavolo teleported the group of you into, nearly half the people on the street turned and looked at you. Some of them ran, others pulled out their phones and made calls, and about four or five came rushing towards you asking where you'd been.

You recognized the men that had the gall to come up to you, they were some of the more high ranking commanders. However, your second in command was not among them. The brothers protectively stepped around you, not knowing who these people were. Clearly that was the wrong move.

In an instant the street was clear of citizens and there were members of your gang with their weapons drawn or their hands near their weapon. Diavolo stood behind you, glaring at the men in front. Simeon and Solomon were on edge. The atmosphere was tense. Barbatos was the first to speak.

"I'd advise you stand down," He spoke with a hum in his voice to the men in your gang.

"I could say the same to you," Said a voice emerging from the other side of the street. Slowly the person walked forward. It was your second in command.

"Who are you to be acting like this around our commander ? They disappeared four months ago and show up again like nothing ? Forgive us if we're a little curious," Your second spoke in a teasing manor, eyeing everyone carefully.

Lucifer -

- commander ?

- who ? mc a commander ? of what ?

- who are these people and where did they come from ?

- *protection mode activated*

- the only reason he's not in demon form and ready to attack is bc diavolo is here

- looks at all his brothers and makes sure they understand exactly what he means with one look

- this man is next to dia full on ready to fight

"Who are you calling com-"

You interrupt Lucifer.

"Everyone stand down, this is all just a bit misunderstanding," You say as quickly as possible to stop any conflict. Everyone directs their attention towards you.

"Commander who are these people ?" Your second asks.

"They're my friends, there's no need to be hostile. Everyone stand down," You say, looking around at all the people. They immediately lower their weapons, some of them even holster them. Your second on the other hand, known for standing up to you, doesn't lower their weapon.

"All due respect commander, but I won't stand down until I know they aren't a threat," You second looks you dead in the eye. You sigh. You then direct your attention to the boys surrounding you.

"Guys, back off a bit please. I'm fine. They aren't a threat," You say, tired.

The brothers ease up a bit, but you can still see the tension in their muscles. Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, and Solomon stood behind you protectively still, but also stepped back.

Lucifer steps forward and makes eye contact with you.

"What's going on MC ?" Lucifer asks.

"Okay so, gang this is Lucifer, Mammon, Levi, Satan, Beel, Asmo, Barbatos, Belphie, Solomon, Simeon, Barbatos, and Diavolo. Boys, this is my gang," You say while pointing to everyone and talking as fast as possible.

Mammon -

- he eased up on his defensive stance, but he never let your hand go

- as to be expected because you're HIS human

- anyways

- gang ??

- what do you mean gang ??

- like a club or should he be running

- very confused boi but just wants to protect you no matter what

Mammon squeezes your hand lightly. You look at him.

"What do you mean gang ?" He asks.

"I- uh.. well you see, it's exactly how it sounds," You respond.

The confusion on Mammon's face only grows.

"I am the leader of a gang. Here in the human world?" You say while shrugging your shoulders.

The boys all look at you like you've grown a second head.

"You run a gang ?" Mammon says after a moment of silence between all of them.

"Is that so surprising ?" Your second asks.

Leviathan -

- surprising ??

- surprising ??????

- the same mc that would stay up until two am playing animal crossing with him ?

- the same mc that bought him plushies of his favorite characters ?

- mc who would cosplay with him

- how could someone who makes sure he takes care of himself and basically babies him but on a friend level, be the commander of a gang ?

- lowkey thinks it's badass because he is the grand admiral of his own army

- gets distracted and starts fangirling over you

"How long have you been the commander of a gang?" Levi excitedly asks.

"Two years, before I went to the devildom that is," You respond, slightly bouncing off Levi's excitement.

"The what?" Your second asks, interrupting.

"The- oh. Wait a minute," You say and turn to Diavolo.

"Am I allowed to tell them ?" You half whisper to Dia.

"If you see fit. This situation is entirely new to me," Dia half whispers back. Barbatos leans in and joins the conversation.

"I sense utter loyalty to you, MC, if you trust them then I advise we should too," Barbatos speaks quietly.

You turn back to your gang.

"Okay so the reason I vanished for four months is because I went to 'hell' as an exchange student. Now I realize that may sound crazy, but these guys are all demons," You say while roughly gesturing to the brothers, Dia, and Barbatos, "He's an angel," You say and point to Simeon, "And he's a human, but immortal, I think. I don't really know Solomon is the textbook definition of an enigma," You say while waving at Solomon in gesture.

Your gang stares at you, bewildered. The person next to your second starts laughing hysterically. Your second glares at him but the laughter doesn't stop.

Levi, knowing exactly how it feels to be laughed at and not believed, starts talking.

"Need proof ?" He asks. In the blink of an eye he's in his demon form.

Your gang steps back, eyes wide, their hands near their weapons.

Satan -

- there's no way satan isn't dragging you back to his room after this to talk about your gang

- thinks it's attractive as hell, MC in a position of power ? that's the stuff

- takes a moment to register why levi is in his demon form, but feels his wrath and changes too

- steps closer to you

- he's still mad you never told him, but he won't take it out on you

- honestly just wants to know the truth

After Satan changes too, the rest of the brothers join in

Except Lucifer, who looks very displeased. Diavolo laughs at Lucifer's discontentment. Satan smirks as well, knowing he made Lucifer angry.

Your second is the first to speak.

"Okay what the fuck," Is the only thing said.

"MC did explain that we're demons, were you listening ?" Satan asks coyly.

"Right then. So it's actually true ?" Your second asks, looking at you.

"Yes, why would I lie ?" You say back.

There is a moment of silence. No one moves or says anything.

"So I take it this means we can't tell anyone ?" Your second asks.

"No, you cant. But I know you're all more than capable of keeping secrets," You laugh a little. The atmosphere lightens up. Your second laughs with you.

Asmo -

- your laugh is so adorable to him

- not the time thoughts

- he also thinks it's attractive you run a gang

- admires how you were able to change the atmosphere and how these people listen to you

- will totally tease you and call you commander

- joins in on lightening the mood

"Right then, how about we all go get a drink and discuss the events of the last four months over dinner ?" Asmo says.

"Is there even a restaurant big enough to hold all of us ?" Satan asks.

"Yeah, we can use the base," You say.

"Of course, it's still the same as you left it commander," Your second joins in.

"Then it's settled, let's go !" Asmo smiles.

Beel -

- definitely not opposed to having food

- is a little hurt you didn't tell him, but ultimately understands

- he wants to hear about your adventures

- wonders if he can spend more time with you to hear about said adventures

- does this mean you can fight ?

- if so can you train with him ?

"Does this mean we get human world food ?" Beel asks, looking at you.

"Yep !!" You respond.

Beel changes out of his demon form with a smile on his face.

"I'll also show you guys our base of operations and give you a tour. I can also show you where I used to live too !!" You say excitedly.

The other brothers change out of their demon forms.

Your second starts to walk and lead the way to the base. Everyone follows.

Belphie -

- to be honest he doesn't care you're a gang leader

- he just wants to sleep and spend time with you

- if those two things coincide then good for him

- he does think it's cool tho

"So, you're gonna tell us everything right ?" Belphie asks.

"Yes. I'll tell you guys about my life here and then I'll tell my gang about my life with you all," You say.

"Good, as long as things get cleared up," Belphie says and yawns.

----

SORRY IT GOT REALLY SHORT AT THE END IM REALLY TIRED BUT THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST I HOPE YOU LIKE IT !!

- cas :)

[unalivejournal]

u mentioned only reading kripke era fic do you have a reclist 👀👀👀and if not could you link some of ur faves cuz the stuff that gets circulated the most right now is all like late late seasons fic and kripke era is my favorite too but im having trouble finding that many fics for it or even seasons 6-10 era which im fine with also. its just that like. the last five seasons were so bad that it makes fic generally worse too because people have to jump off of just Thee stupidest plot choices no matter how good their prose skills might be. but anyway yea if u have recs that would be awesome :)

hi anon i was thinking abt making a reclist and u just gave me the perfect excuse thank u

jess adamilligan’s kripke era fic recs

from making this ive learned that i never bookmark ANYTHING. sorry all of these r like….. 10k and under. i DO read longer fic but i don’t have any kripke era longfics bookmarked & tbh i prefer short oneshots

season one gen

disclaimer because it’s unfortunately needed: NONE of these are w*ncest! they’re all completely tagged as gen and i did not read them with the intent of consuming ship content.

Coaster Park by fogsrollingin, 10.4k, G, gen

Coaster Park had been experiencing an unusually high frequency of technical difficulties. Dean wouldn't have pulled a shift treating nauseated, heat-stroked, or dehydrated park-goers for that if he could've helped it, but when 'technical difficulties' were accompanied by rumors of things moving and stopping on their own in front of the operators' eyes, Dean had to throw down.

No historical tragedies or disasters in the area, ectoplasm, or EMF. Dean's only lead was a battered-looking kid that'd been coming to the park every day since it'd all started.

really interesting au fic! slightly ‘it’s a terrible life’. dean winchester is a hunter/EMT and sam wesson is a college kid destined to die on a roller coaster ride.

two basic motivating forces by sahwen, 7.8k, T, gen

He can’t cry, it’s not allowed; even as a child he was hushed into silence, whether his tears were from a long car ride or a late night or a raging fever. It’s never been an option, it’s never been an available outlet, and it’s not about to start being one just because he’s having an emotional breakdown on the bathroom floor.

Sam isn't only afraid of clowns.

BIG emetophobia tw (both for graphic depictions of nausea/vomiting and for the fact that this fic is about sam suffering from emetophobia) for this one but it’s my favorite sickfic. portrays anxiety over getting sick really well and is a fascinating examination of the different ways that sam’s fear of loss of control can manifest itself. also has lovely brothers content <3

Let’s Start at the Very Beginning (Remix of Just as Easy as 123) by nwspaprtaxis, 4k, T, gen

Dean’s functionally illiterate and Sam’s determined to remedy it...

PLEASE READ THIS ONE god it’s so sweet. dean never learned how to read properly due to his nomadic childhood and sam teaches him how.

dean/cas

Broadway Musical by Griftings, 9k, M, m/m

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.

The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.

Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

somewhat of a fandom classic and the humor holds up wonderfully. a very silly fic completed with commentary from angel radio throughout the entire thing.

Sappiest Season by dollsome, 2.7k, G, m/m

In which Dean and Cas have to stop an evil Christmas tree (like you do), and it requires a little fake couple action.

hilarious little s5ish fic. one of the first i read when getting back into spn. i don’t want to spoil anything but this is my favorite pick me up and i still giggle randomly whenever i think about it

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by tuesday

Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this.

another fandom classic. ik this one is recced a lot but how could i NOT include it. dean and cas get married (mostly by accident) and they’re huge cunts about it

the one thing in the galaxy god didn't have his eyes on by prufrock, 2.4k, T, gen + m/m

“Wait,” Dean says. “Let me get this right. You can fly, right—you can teleport—but you can’t drive a car?”

or, after the events of S5E03 "Free to Be You and Me," Dean teaches Cas to drive. Cas finds it stressful

im always a sucker for a good ftbyam fic. also i can’t drive so. resonation

So Says The Sword by komodobits, 85k, E, m/m

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’

Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected.

NO introduction neede. i think everyone on spntumblr has read this already but still. if you haven’t then i am demanding that you read it NOW. tbh i’m just adding this one so that i have at least one long fic here 😭

the weight by @myaimistrue, 3.5k, T, gen + m/m

“Do you…” Bobby sighs. “Listen, Dean, do you have something you wanna tell me?”

It’s the conversational equivalent of being punched in the stomach.

Or, Dean works through some things with Bobby's help.

WHEN I SAW THE USERNAME I GASPED I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS U. anyway i Love coming out fics idk why i just do. the world is ending and dean comes out to bobby

canticles by 2street2car, 10.3k, T, m/m

“But you know something? If I couldn’t get you laid, at least I gave you a good first date.”

feat: footsies at a Ruby Tuesday, stargazing, the recreation of an iconic "Dirty Dancing" scene (no, not that one—the other one), and practicing for When You're With A Girl.

another ftbyam fic that skepticalfrog (i believe?) recommended a while back. made me feel at least 28 new emotions

Epilogue by JayneL, 28k, E, m/m

Bobby is here, swearing somewhere above and behind him; and Dean is here, talking about 2014 like it's a foreign country; and Sam is here, and is not Lucifer. Which means-- Bobby is here, swearing somewhere above and behind him; and Dean is here, talking about 2014 like it's a foreign country; and Sam is here, and is not Lucifer. Which means--

Cas is no longer when he was. Lucifer sent him back.

Coda to 'The End'.

2014 cas gets sent back to 2009, feelings ensue etc. i don’t remember all the details of this one bc it’s been a while but it’s really good

bonus

currently reading

Fragile As We Lie by perilously, 11k, E, f/f

Dragging Bela Talbot out of perdition isn't so much a decision as it is a frantic choice based on gut instinct. Her soul is bright, if fractured, and Anna yearns to do good again after the perversion of free will that immediately preceded her death.

Bela's no ordinary human, though; she's prickly and damaged and beautiful, and Anna doesn't want to leave her side. So maybe they can figure out how to navigate post-resurrection, post-Apocalypse-that-wasn't Earth together.

[saintobio]

Hi Ai! SN asks are one of the things I love reading here on tumblr everyone having their own theories so creative. At this point I really think MC knowing what Gojo did to Sera and might got her damn pregnant will be the last blow on her😭

on god it will be 😭 and speaking of theories, i shall compile them all under here <33 i hope u don’t mind

@fusheeguro said

Ok ik i said i wanted gojo and y/n to be endgame, and strangely i was happy reading this bc gojo finally got his ass denied?? and despite knowing that home girl has a life threatening disease and could die??? I SWEAR I AM NOT A WEIRDO!! this chapter just made sense!! i was soooo satisfied with the way things were handled. also, the way i see our home girl becoming a noble fashion designer? like yes y/n, chase yo dreams!! make them clothes for all the zen’in teens. get your paper. don’t let that booty ass crusty ass hoe hold you down!! (p.s. i sent that y/n gojo endgame ask b4 i read chap 8 and by the time i was done writing and ready to send it YOU UPDATED LANSJWBSHS I AM NOT A GOJO APOLOGIST NOR SIMP)

also can i just take a second to say SLAYYY SLAYYYYYY AI. YOUR WRITING JUST BUILT DIFF. YOU KNOW SHE’S A GOOD WRITER WHEN SHE MAKES YOUR FEEL SUMN! THIS SHIT IS SOME GOOD BIRD FOOD FOR MY PIGEON ASS!! but dw i am a delivery pigeon who knows how to drop off mail and i am omw to tell my notes how satisfied i am with chapter 9 🚪✨

Anonymous said

first off would like to tell u that this fic is so captivating and i lit binge read the first five and could not wait for the other chapters to release

like although all the main characters (sera gojo and yn) have something to hate abt them they’re really well developed and idk how u keep up with writing this without being slightly biased or annoyed 😭

and honestly the chap 8 ended in such a cliffhanger and i couldn’t wait for this next chapter

chap 9 was honestly so good but the only thing that made me meh was yn getting a heart condition (b/c i really don’t want this to be the cliche im abt to die and u j confessed ur love type thing if that makes sense)

but other than that thank u so much for everything and i am looking forward to the rest of the series!!!

(btw j wanna shout out ur chapter five cause i genuinely think it’s a masterpiece… it really hyped 😭)

@t2iara said

HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK

so we were the one who said 'u qanna make it up to me, u hv to do it for the rest of your life ' OMGDJJG AND GOJOU WAS THE ONE WHO SAID 'you're not valuable wnough to ruin my life' TO SERA AHHAHA CHILLS, sera is so inconsiderate.. shawty its ok to imagine what you would look like with a baby bump😢 just dont regret it when i take you to court😠😠 obviously you have some brain problems if you think you're still the victim here. mc is literally bound to die but its ok you didnt know😀 i hope u still don't think im faking my heart problems for attention!!1!!1!1 FSCKING BITAKDH i will let you know your place next time hahahah yk you cant be in the sidelines forever because one day satoru is gonna wake up and decide that oh im gonna end things w my mistress today because i need to make things right😯 then you'll experience more struggles in your life and maybe MAYBE thatll change your mindset and i hope you change for the better and realize that you just need to "let things be" 🤰🏌 lol

pointing fingers at us wont do you any good💔💔 affsdsd sera probably thinks that if she gets pregnant by gojous baby then he has to divorce us and marry her instead because mostly in shows thats how it works.. as if satoru will divorce us lol he doesnt have the balls to do it💓 toji toji i love you thx for the small talk😭 looking forward for our meetings w the zen'ins !!!! <3 HAHA MIWA HEY HEYYY👋👋👋 i rlly hope she wont be a problem here (like being a second mistress SORRY) because doesnt she like gojou in the anime and shes gojous type when utahime asked him😳😳 and omg i didnt even notice that gjou didnt ask us if we want a baby bc i was focused on the smut ajsjjsjs, the ring🤩 first step if we're gonna ignore satoru bc last chapter our ring was the reason why y/n considered going after his ring in the ocean. thanks for the sera going home pov💗💗 i rem you included asking us if we want to see her pov going home in my last ask💗💗

@honouredsatoru said

i am still on a hiatus but i come back every friday just to catch up with your series. its so beautifully, painfully, frustratingl written and it gets my soul all riled up whenever y/n is being mistreated bcs she doesnt deserve this. but as a fellow writer, i know you have it planned and only the best for her.

sincerely, not started out as a typical series for me but i think i can confidently say that i am emotionall, mentally and spiritually attached to this series. thank you so much for working so damn hard. do take good care of yourself and please dont mind the negative messages, we all love you <3

also something for cuntjo 😌 may your coffee taste absolutely bitter with loads of coffee grounds still in it, maybe your socks get ripped out. may your presentation slides suddenly stopped whilst attending a crucial meeting, may your airpods break by the 2nd night you bought them. to y/n, you're doing great sweetheart! i love youuu.

Anonymous said

hi!!! amazing chapter once more!!!! i love this fic w all my heart it's beyond amazing. also i have a thought??? lol but idk if you've ever mentioned it bc i have poor memory but did gojo and sera get together before or after sera got the job at gojo's company??? bc like i feel like to a certain extent, being at the company and having strong ties w a person in power is kinda feeding into sera's little fantasy about having a rich life. granted, i do empathize w her on her family life because no one ever deserves to have to struggle so much just to have a barely livable lifestyle. however, the more she's involved in the business and family things, the more she's submerged into this little delusion that all rich people are blessed w no problems (again not always 100% true and has a lot of nuance but at least rich ppl don't rlly have to work EXTREMELY extremely hard to live a comfortable lifestyle). like the fact that sera believes that y/n can't have any problems and issues bc everything has been handed to her on a silver platter and disregards everything y/n went through. and she's been always disregarding gojo's past and trauma. it's like she doesn't want that "rich image and lifestyle" to be tainted. idk if i'm making sense since english is not my first language. i'm not rlly good w words and theories. but hopefully u understood what i said. that again, i thoroughly enjoyed this chapter and all other chapters!!! will be continuously reading it until the next one comes heheheeh <33333

Anonymous said

Hello Ai! This is my first time asking something through here so I'm a bit nervous😭but feel free to ignore this since i know that you have 300+ more ask and your probably busy! :)

Anyways, before I carry on I'd like to say how much I love your writing, its ✨MUaH✨ chefs kiss😩✋

Your story's with angst are all always top tier💕 so keep at it! You're doing great

Anyways to stop my heart from hurting through all the angst I've been reading on your Sn story(especially chapter 8/9). I had this silly headcanon that came into mind when I read someone's ask about y/n and satoru's kid 'sachiro' (or sum like that I can't remember) and I'd like to know what your interpretation would be like(as the writer/author) if y/n ended re-marrying toji(in the whole co-parenting thing), and how he would be as a step-dad towards sachiro.

[So yes step daddy toji in the house yall😩]

I personally think Satoru's pettiness levels would be extremely high since y/n married his rival company and be low-key jealous of how close he is to sachiro///

(again this is totally dumb thing that came into my mind when the whole 'co-parenting' ask appeared and I totally need something to ease the pain rn 😭lookey cryin with the homies rn and sera you better be sleeping with an eye open cuz theses anons are ready to throw hands///me included)

Anonymous said

Wow just wow 😳 Did not expect that ?? But like I’m glad ?!!?? It took a heart condition for mc to cut hoejo out of her life ?? Also I desperately want mc’s dad and sis to know everything and I mean everything sera and slutoru did too her( hope they destroy his company )

Why do so many want mc and hoejo to get together in the end ? That makes no sense to me ? Like how do you get past that, the pain and trauma and cheating? How can you trust ? Also I don’t believe he’s in love with her. Love is a actions , not words. If he loved her he’d give the divorce papers with a generous gift or something. He’s still so selfish plus I think he only really likes her coz of how much she does for him ? He likes how she keeps the house tidy, how she comforts him,how she takes care of his nightmares, how she’s so sweet and submissive for him? How she helps with his image and status? They’re all so superficial. Like what is 10yrs down the line he likes his sweet secretary who’s had similar trauma (to him) who just seems to understand him yadda yadda. He knows nothing about mc, he doesn’t know her quirks doesn’t care about her sketches or passions ?, her grief with her moms death,her friends etc? Those things could have been done on the side abs subtly. I just don’t believe he loves her at all, it’s basically him losing his second mommy. I don’t know why anyone hasn’t said this yet but mc needs to settle down with firefighter best boy yuuji itadori. The only one who’d treat her well. Ik people are rooting for Toji but he loves his wife still, don’t want to stomp on that, it feels more mentor/ mentee relationship anyway

Ending this by fangirling over how goood of a writer you are. I am in awe. Plus the suspense , I randomly think about what’s going happen next Friday or I’ll just get a bout of anger thinking about hoejo while furiously eating yougurt.

Thank you for this amazing series

-🍱

@dora-the-grownup said

HEHEHEHEHE YALL HEAR THAT?? TOJIS VOICE THRU YNS PHONE SPARKED ELECTRICITYYYYYYYYYY 😆⚡️🦋💘💖✨ #mrszenin #tojicalledusmrszenin #zeninclan #WEREMEETINGMEGUMI shejkskmdmdmdnfm sir i am in love w u

for the baby’s sake, i hope sera isn’t pregnant. i rlly dont vibe with sera like,, she’s kinda immature,, and she’s lowkey materialistic?? idealistic?? that’s her downfall rlly. plus she’s so self centered like bae </3 the world doesn’t revolve around u 😭 if she had a kid, i’m scared she’d be one of those moms who blame all their troubles in life on the child. i feel like she’d be the type to have high expectations of her kid and if they don’t fulfill it, she’d get so disappointed and antagonize them and go into another whirl of “here we go again with why my life isn’t perfect”. i definitely am scared that sera would look at a child as a way to start over her own life and project her own shit onto them

sera’s mom seemed so nice thooo :( she didn’t deserve sera’s angry words i felt so bad for her :( it must have been so awkward for her fam to eat at the table after her outburst too lol it’s giving very childhood trauma vibes for her siblings rip

okok so toji fushiguro 💓💗💕💖💘💕💘💞 but idk gojo this chapter is making me feel a lil smthsmth 🤨❤️‍🩹(?)… i’ve said before that he needed time alone for self reflection because he’s just been dragged around by sera and his pride that he can’t rlly think for himself anymore, and i’m honestly so glad he’s had a week to think (and suffer alone but whatever he had it coming). i love that he’s rlly trying now and that he’s realizing the weight of his past actions AND I LOVE YN GIRLBOSSING HER WAY THRU IT OH YES THAT LAST LINE 🙌👏 YEA BESTIE 💪💅

i’m rlly looking forward to finally seeing yn in action with her passion when she goes to the zenin estate 🙈 i jus know that shits gonna make me so giddy HAHAHAHA anywayyy thank u so much for this chapter! no lie, sn makes my saturday mornings so exciting and it’s what i look forward to all week 😩

Anonymous said

this chapter was so heartbreaking for me to read /lh /pos(??)

like, just the part of mc's heart disease made me cry like idk??? like a baby? because when i was 5, i was diagnosed with one (and thank god is cured bc i had surgery when i was 8) but i stopped to think if i hadn't gone to the hospital that day, maybe i wouldn't have discovered this and i wouldn't have had the surgery annnd like, this made me cry a lot,,,,, your work is amazing, it makes me think about a lot of things in my life i didn't really paid attention, i guess

@katsulovee said

hii!! I don’t really have much to say but I’m glad that yn is starting to take care of herself now and focus on herself worth!! I really hope she does so after her dream on running her own little company one day with help from mr toji.

I also love yn and toji’s relationship!! I love how she can really open up to him, even about her condition and kinda treats her like family too!! I really wish yn the best in future happiness because she really deserves it from all the pain and suffering she’s been put through.

thatminniechick said

YESSSS Y/N MAKE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS LETS GO!!! Design them clothes line! Also there's no real way for Goji to start making it up to her until he breaks it off with Sera and minimizes contact, and that'd just be the beginning. It's upsetting to read that Sera blames Y/N for her misfortunes that Y/N isnt even aware off. She's so clouded in bitterness that she doesnt realize that she is as toxic as her parents are to her. It's tragic. Beautifully written chapter! Cant wait for the next one.

@m3gumiis said

Hiiii i know you have a shit ton of asks but I truthfully could not hold back on sending this.

First and foremost, you did it again!! This chapter was done beautifully as well as the others, I’m looking forward for the future angst and satoru redemption arc.

Second, “To know that you might end up six feet under and be forgotten in this world like your mom did was an experience that left blisters on your heart.”

Jesus. this was so heartbreaking. I didn’t realize this was a fear of mine until I read that line i’m just wow. Hypothetically speaking, if MC does end up dying, I honestly hope she is not forgotten easily.

also this line, “M-My heart’s already suffering,” WAS GENUIS!! the way MC is being so literal about it is scary because satoru doesn’t even realize it. like GOOSEBUMPS FR.

and I have a question, so you mentioned that sera’s family was given money by Gojo’s so does that mean they are aware she is in a secret relationship with him? and i’m glad you included her POV, as a first gen here i understand having to be the breadwinner in the family. although it might be the pisces in me, i do sympathize with her and understand why she views the world the way she does.

Thank you for taking the time to not only answer asks but update on such a tight schedule. You deserve all the love to come!!! :D

Anonymous said

Only you can make a 9k chapter feel so short 😭😭 I always want to know more everytime I finish a chapter

Gojo is finally getting what was coming for him and he deserves it. He's in denial about it, but he absolutely was just as abusive as his dad, even if he would never get physically violent. It makes me have so many encountered feelings, bc I'm a gojo simp and kinda want mc and him to have their happy ever after, but realistically that kind of emotional abuse is extremely hard to look past and move on from, and in real life I would absolutely beg mc to get away from him as fast as possible.

I also find it so hard to empathize with sera lol girl I'm poor too but i've never gone after a married man. We really saw also how she loves the idealized version of gojo, and doesn't like when her picture perfect boyfriend is anything but. I can see how she desperately wants something perfect after dealing with her family but still #SeraGetTherapyChallenge

Love how we all camp waiting for your asks to open! Keep taking care of yourself first though, we love you ❤️

@dol-house said

i usually don't go after the other women when it comes to cheating after all she didn't swear to be loyal,but this bitch sera makes it so hard not to, like she seen the mc being extremely lenient with her and still have the nerve to play the victim. If it was me i would have walked out on Gojo the moment he and his dumb bitch tried to villainize me. idk maybe im speaking from the fact that its incredibly hard for me to make meaningful emotional relationships or its probably because i have no tolerance for toxic relationships.( mostly because almost all the women in my family had been in one and i have been a witness to my parents own abusiveness) but all in all im glad that the mc is getting her shit together and walking away from the stress. But the sadist in me is fucking giggling i truly hope that gojo beg on his knees for the mc to come back i just wish the worst for him right now i hope that sera bady traps him i hope that the mc divorces his ass and (she) get with someone that truly cares for her and makes her happy the poor girl needs a happy ending.

Anonymous said

Why am i a whore? First of all i was crying the whole time while reading this chapter and that’s really strange because of all chapters this one hurt me the least but it’s the one i cried about the most because it was just too emotional😭

ok back to the topic why am i a whore? I literally made a whole speech about how i am so disgusted about gojo and that i could never forgive him no matter what and how he must suffer but now i feel a little bad for him🧍🏻‍♀️ but i shouldn’t let my whore emotions take the best of me he must suffer like how his wife suffered or even more because i might feel a little bad of him but it's nothing compared to how much i feel bad for y/n especially after i found that she has heart condition 😭💔

@peachiekookie said

Hello Hello 💜 I just got done reading Chapter Nine of SN and tears were falling already! There’s a few things I’ve had in mind while reading this chapter.

The conversation between Sera and Gojo - I felt mixed emotions. Anger? Remorse? Anxious? Too much happening since Gojo finally confronted Sera about what’s going on but Sera was pulling another trick up her sleeve. Will she use the pregnancy as a bridge to success or failure? She’s making me angry but also curious because sometimes the second female leads somehow manage to royally screw everything up anyways so I’m just waiting for that specific chapter to come up. And the relationship she has with her family made me feel so bad honestly. I can’t imagine yelling at my parents but in her case, since the dad is acting that way, Sera should just kick him out if he’s not providing financially. The mom I see her as a housewife watching the kids while Sera’s working so that’s okay. If anything, she didn’t have to yell at her siblings for caring about their older sister 🥺

Second concern was the conversation between MC and Gojo. That was a tear jerker (but it won’t top Ch.9) and I just wish for happy MC 💜 Gojo has abused her verbally and mentally (physically too bc of the ring situation), so I don’t think there will be a happy ending between them..? Maybe so maybe not but as far as the story goes, Gojo has a lot to make up for this marriage. MC won’t file for a divorce maybe because of the business relationship but if she had the power to, then she would’ve ended it without thinking twice. Now that we know MC has CAD, there’s no doubt in my mind the divorce will come with a happy ending like “Gojo, I’m sorry for the divorce but just know that regardless of what happens between us, I’ll still wish for happiness for you. It may not be with me but I don’t want you to suffer as much as I did,” type of divorce, ya know? Like pull the trigger with her own happiness and it makes him suffer in the end? Too much lol? However the story goes I will still love it anyways!

Last, Toji and MC. IN MY OPINION(!), I’m not wanting Toji and MC to become a couple. At first when he came up to MC at the bar my heart did backflips and I was like “oh yes she gonna get drunk and have a liquid courage hookup with him!” But as the story progressed and their relationship to, I see their relationship becoming a Brother-Sister type of bond . . I see Toji caring for his baby sister and wanting nothing but happiness for her while MC leans towards him as a escape zone for comfort. The way Toji makes her smile without much effort makes my heart melt but I don’t feel butterflies like that. I don’t think MC looks at him in that sense and is most likely using him (well not ‘using’ him) as an asset to begin her career. Like it’s a friend looking out for a friend :) I’m sorry to everyone who supports the Toji x MC trope but I support their relationship whatever if is our Author plans in the end!

This whole story got me going nuts and this is my first time sending in an Ask to you! Thank you again for making Friday’s interesting since all my family sees from me are tears and a runny nose 🥲💜

Anonymous said

After that emotional ending in chapter 8, I went to listened to the SN song playlist to comfort my heart and soul. The song that stood out was Harry Styles’ Falling and I decided to watch the music video as well. Someone in the comment section interpreted the music video, saying, “And after drowning himself, he realizes how he can try to start again, even when it’s really hard to recover from what he’s been through. That’s why the beginning is actually the end, with the water in the room going down, he playing the wet piano again and resting.”

It made me think, what if SN’s open ending is like that? Very simply, Gojo and y/n do separate, the merging wouldn’t happen, Gojo would lose y/n and his chance at being CEO, and Sera seems like she wouldn’t stick with him through all of this (seeing that she only likes the idea of his perfect self). Gojo will essentially hit rock bottom and wallow in regret as y/n moves on. In my mind, y/n wouldn’t necessarily move on to another relationship but move on with her career and loving/caring for herself. At some point, Gojo will find a way to forgive himself and move on from the past as well; he’ll find it in himself to let go of the agony that has tormented him (i.e. reconcile with his mom). And maybe years later, a mentally healthy Gojo and a heart healthy y/n would cross paths again, and it’ll be an open ending to whether or not they end up together again. But ultimately, they both are at peace and have forgiven each other. I also like to think that even during the time they were apart, they continued to have love for each other.

@sourpatchdweebs said

Sheeesh as someone who’s been through an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship. And had a snapping point JUST LIKE THIS… This is hitting home so so much wow. The way you’ve written the emotions of wanting that familiarity of a relationship but feeling like you’re not good enough is spot on scarily so. You���re an amazing author I hope you know. Just like y/n here I had a snapping point where I went OFF on my abuser; except I was at a safe position to leave since he was leaving for the navy. It’s just so interesting to see a toxic relationship being portrayed at extreme accurately like this. I’m hoping to see y/n live the life she deservesss !!

@bbykita said

can we talk abt seras stankin ass and her home life? i get that she is frustrated and upset abt her dads drinking which caused the dinner not to be good but she didnt have to be as rude abt it as she was. also with the 10 million yen thing didnt it all go to waste on her fathers debt? so how do they have a nicer place now? in conclusion i hate that fucking stanking dumb ass btich. also gojo, your to late with the apologies baby.( putting all this aside, how r u? i hope your keeping up with your mental health, getting enough sleep, and overall taking care of yourself! )

hey guys i’m sorry i can’t respond to u all but i just thought it’d be nice to publish these asks for anyone who’s interested to see <33 thank u for the support and for leaving all these messages !!

[ccelinewritess]

the distance between us

pairing- draco malfoy x reader

word count- 9.7k

summary- the first time draco uses the muggle post system, it goes so terribly wrong, and a letter falls into the hands of a girl who was never supposed to see it, a muggle at that.

warnings- curse words, ptsd, anxiety/ panic attacks, depression mention of death, murder, blood and burns aswell as insomia, seperation anxiety (?) and my grammar.if these may trigger you, i suggested not reading.

a/n- this took me a while to get out, sry abt that. the reader was set to live in a canadian town called kelowna, british columbia. it takes place in readers grade 11/12 and dracos 6/7 year. i hope it’s not to self inserted, and you guys can enjoy and relate to it. big thank you to @dracodear for the help on this, love you! also thanks to everyone who left owl name suggestions, all were awesome and i ended up going with @winnsmills suggestion ‘noctua’ ! tumblrs been acting weird, so i hope it lets me post the whole thing. letters are in italics. also please note, this is off the movies timeline! i tried to fit in as many details as possible but some didn’t make it.

-

the town was widespread. wineries and mountains everywhere, the okanagan lake splitting it down the middle, reconnecting the cities halves by a bridge. little snow and tons of rain. jeep wranglers in every colour roaring around into unholy hours of the night, bustling with life yet all to lonely at times. but hey, that’s kelowna for you.

rain was running down the windows of y/ns most boring class, last period biology. she knew she should be paying attention. she had a high gpa to maintain, and couldn’t afford to fail another class besides french. the last five minutes of blabbering ended after what felt like a year.

‘you are dismissed, ill see you all monday, have a good weekend’ and with that everyone rose, heading to the parking lot as fast as possible in an attemp to dodge traffic. despite pouring rain, the air was hot, and on the ride home y/ns mind raced over every single assignment she had to complete over the next two days, while her hands tapped the steering wheel.

‘english essay, math review, history paper, business management graph’ she muttered under her breath. the town was busy, many students often blew off class to go shopping, or hit a movie, or smoke weed, the possibilities were endless. her house was cool compared to outside, and empty. no one was home, not that it was a surprise to the girl, people weren’t usually home, siblings gone to university, and parents working absurd amounts.

something caught her eye on the counter, an envelope, an ordinary seeming one, but absolutely covered in small pictured stamps with ‘england’ underneath each one. eighteen of them, all different. she knew shouldn’t open it, so she didn’t. at first. but it was irresistible. there was a return address written in the smallest writing she’d ever seen. wogshell, no, wiltshire? she took it to her room, and locked the door before ripping it open. she didn’t want the one time she had something intresting going on to be interrupted by whoever might show up.

her mouth fell open at every line of the same scroll. who was snape? why was this draco boy sending him a letter? he didn’t need his help to kill who? what the fuck was an unbreakable vow and why shouldn’t snape sign it? why was his mum going to see snape? who was the dark lord and why did he pick draco for a task? what kind of name is dumbledore?

what she already knew was confirmed- this letter was most definetly not for her. but newly- she opened a letter from a potential murderer or maybe it was a prank, a sick prank if it was one.

so instead she crafted up quite the response, whoever wrote this was either hysterical or in distress, and needed some sort of company- she thought, atleast.

-

it had been thirteen days, why wasn’t the letter back yet? the owl still couldn’t fly even about the house without damaging itself further. maybe using the muggle post system was a mistake. but better have it land into the hands of a muggle, who would likely throw it out, than a wizard who would know a death eater would soon be wondering around hogwarts.

as if on que, the door bell rang and echoed through the empty manor. on the porch sat an envelope, with only one stamp, his name in the middle and another he didn’t recognize in the corner. shit, this couldn’t be good. his eye caught the stamp. canada? fuck, this was supposed to go to cokeworth not bloody canada. no one was home so he opened it right there in the foyer.

hello, draco.

i am not snape- nor do i know who snape is. i am also very unfimilar with some of the vocabulary you used. dark lord? unbreakable vow? you seem to have quite the situation going on, if i read correctly. im not exactly stupid, but i do know that this letter was most definitely not supposed to be in my possession. i didn’t know who to send it to, id send it back to you, but you probably don’t want a copy of your own letter. i also know you likely have enough on your plate, but if you’d like someone to talk to im only half a world away, have no sort of schedule and am a good listener, well reader in this case. good luck with whatever task you’ve mentioned. p.s. you had about seventeen stamps to many, first time sending a letter? unfortunate fate, huh ? what kind of name is snape and what the heck is a dumbledore? i suppose it’s none of my business, knowing you likely won’t respond, but if you do i wrote my address on the front. have a good day/ night/ whatever time it is wherever you are.

y/n l/n

tears were welling in dracos eyes, he was floored, in a good and bad way. his task was already going downhill. the letter he sent snape had fallen into the hands of a muggle, who did not throw the letter away, but responded. and snape was likely going to bine himself into the task through the unbreakable vow, which draco was more than able to complete. he wouldn’t have been chosen if he wasn’t, right?

not only had she responded, she offered him help, well distant company, to a stranger who obviously had quite a few problems and she clearly had no regard for her own safety. he couldn’t tell her about the wizarding world. not that he could tell her about anything, she could be lying. he had a task to focus on, he couldn’t write her back.

and that was true- at the time. he had no intent of writing the girl back. and yet he found himself reading the 201 words over and over, running his hands across the paper, expecting them to fade away as he wiped. counting and recounting. he surely couldn’t talk to any of the twats at hogwarts, maybe a stranger could help numb the pain. and as long as he didn’t tell anyone- she couldn’t get hurt, she was to far.

draco was packed for hogwarts, the response at the bottom of the trunk, underneath his clothes. he’d just have to get to the damn school, then he could write all he wanted- without his parents knowledge or ridicule. his mind jumbled together what he was going to say while his friends rambled on. the train pulled up to the castle after dreadful hours and he could barely sit still during the opening feast. his thoughts did falter though, when dumbledore gave his speech, he felt guilty- the shame of his family weighing on his shoulders. he looked around, all his classmates staring in adoration at a man who would be dead ten months from now, and they were sitting in the same room as his killer.

the singular room was nice, he knew it wasn’t for lounge, but for plots of death.

before he began he started making promises to himself. if i get behind on the plan ill won’t write, if snape notices anything about it, ill stop. the list went on and on.

he couldn’t put his pen down, the words continued to fly out the end, was he oversharing?

dear y/n

my deepest apologies that my last letter found it’s way to you. im sure you didn’t expect whatever you may have perceived from it. honestly, i don’t know how it arrived all the way over there. im almost positive you have better things to do than listen to my problems, and i know you had no control over the fact it arrived, but i ask you to please not share this information with anyone. i am unsure if i will take up your offer of amity, if you were serious that is. im at school now, so if you’d like to respond, not that you have to- you can send letters back with my owl, it’ll be faster (and i won’t have to worry about stamps- thanks for the tip by the way)

draco malfoy 

and with that noctua was off into the night, and he could only hope that it would make it to her.

-

droll was running down y/ns chin and she was caught in a dream. suddenly a vigorous tapping on the window pulled her into consciousness, the sight of owl knocking her backwards in a scare. a crash sounded, if the tapping didn’t wake anyone up, that surely did. she almost considered just trying to ignore it, until she noticed a letter tied to its neck and reluctantly opened the window. she’d never seen an owl in real life before, but was aware from school that they weren’t exactly the kindest of creatures. this one just perched on the window while she removed the new enevelope, no stamps in sight. just a neatly printed address, and his in the corner.

from the new letter she learned even more- this wasn’t a prank, draco was a real person, was still in school, and whatever the first misplaced letter contained was true. he had some sort of task and didnt want help, but that was all. so with what she could, she wrote another response. it took an hour and she wasn’t exactly sure what she had written by mid morning.

draco

you’d be quite suprised actually, it gets lonely over here. i still haven’t exactly deciphered your original note, so if you would like to help me understand i think i’d be ready. and no worries about me, my lips are sealed. what is an unbreakable vow, im curious? you go to boarding school? and owls, really? what the hell is up with that? im pretty sure it’s illegal to own one here, but we are countries away, so perhaps it’s different all the way over there. send whatever you want. i do not- by the way- have anything better to do in the slightest.

y/n

-

he continued to write throughout the month of september, which bled into october before he knew it. he was avoiding questions about the task, just wanting someone to talk to. it wasn’t easy, she was curious, which draco couldn’t exactly be mad at her for that since he continued to write her, accepting the distant friendship that was forming.

he was learning a lot about her aswell. besides french, which he informed her he spoke fluently numerous times, she was a very good student. she was single, he didn’t remember how that came up but made a note in his mind- he couldn’t date her, nor did he know enough about her to be properly involved.

she read a lot of books, sappy romances mostly, couldn’t cook anything deemed edible by anyone, and her favourite colour was green, he smirked when reading that for the first time. she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her future, just not a doctor like her parents wanted.

-

y/n was sitting in english as her teacher reviewed about univeristy application requirements. only next year they would be getting accepted and denied from their dream schools. she’d spent years dreaming of it, university, and yet somehow a boy half way around the was racing through her mind. she felt horrible about it, the small crush. it was incredibly selfish, falling for a boy with so much going on, he certainly didn’t need her as anything more than a friend to talk to, but he was good with his words, and making her feel important too. her dismissal came and so did a classmate, approaching confident and cocky.

‘hey, l/n’ he said, a smirk on his face

‘oh, uh hey, will’

‘what are doing tonight?’ her mind went blank, any excuse, come on, say something

‘i have plans’ wow real specific, great job, y/n

‘like what’

‘fish funeral, real important stuff, my family is just devastated’ her voice was clearly sarcastic and that was all before she walked right out. no she didn’t exactly have plans, but waiting for dracos owl provided much more company than any date could have. the sight of dracos owl flying towards the pre-opened window was somewhat relieving, she didn’t know why, just the fact that he had not failed yet, and was still out there was nice. she hadn’t had this much company. since last year at least, when her supposed best friend started ghosting her because of some petty shit.

thankfully noctua ad gotten quite good at being discreet when delivering the letters. of all the things on y/ns junior year bucket list, explaining to her parents that she had befriended a british boy with an owl who flyed into her room while her neighbours had a clear view, wasn’t one. she also began keeping a bowl of water under her bed for the owl to drink when it arrived, knowing it couldn’t have been easy travelling back and forth.

y/n

im not fully sure you want to know the depth, yet you seem to want me to corrupt you with my villain with a task baggage. i suppose it couldn’t hurt if i told you about the unbreakable vow. it’s like a promise or a bond, but if you break it then you die. if you can stomach that i may be able to tell you more. how far away do you reckon we are?

draco

-

draco wasn’t falling behind too far, but his first attemp had failed, and panic attacks were taking up most his time. he never had any, at least not this bad until this year. at least once a day he would start sweating, no matter how cold he was, unable to control his breathing or tears, feeling like the walls were caving in upon him.

that is, besides writing y/n as much as he could. apparently she was being honest, she had no schedule of any sort besides going to school. he hated to say, but he was becoming attached, he didn’t exactly know how either, but everytime he recieved a letter a small weight was lifted from his shoulders, even just when he read it.

noctua was doing the weekly, almost daily round at breakfast with the other owls and draco watched with anticipation as a letter dropped on his lap and owl on his shoulder. he tried to conceal the letter into his robes but pansy had taken matters into her own hands. likely jealous that she’d spent collectively around six hours with him the whole year, and he never talked to her like he used to.

‘ou draco whats this’ twirling the envelope between her hands. the letter had no name, no stamp, only a small heart drawing in the corner.

‘hands off parkinson’ he said while taking the letter back. ‘a letter from my mother, if you must know’ he said knowing that neither his mother or father had written him anything, despite having all the time to do so.

he got up and left the second he was done, not wanting to draw snapes suspicion about who could possibly be more important than working on this task.

he rushed to his room, desperate for more of her words. he tried to picture her voice in his head, but had to remind himself she wasn’t british nor was she from southern america.

draco,

so you just die if you break the promise? intresting. it’s not as hard to stomach as you seem to think, very unique tradition i suppose. you are not a villain draco, you haven’t told me much about it but your to good of a person to have picked any of this for yourself. i calculated when we you were home, seven thousand three hundred something, i don’t know where your fancy boarding school where you have owls for pets is, so it may be further. im ready whenever you are.

y/n

her letter was relieving for him aswell, even in the slightest it helped, but she deserved some sort of answer for helping him take his mind off the task for a couple minutes. he could tell if she wasn’t scared off already, this would do it.

y/n

if you are sure, here it is. dumbledore is my headmaster, the dark lord is a very powerful wizard, and snape is my professor. if i don’t kill dumbledore before july, he will kill me and my family, if i can’t complete the task, snape will kill him under terms of an unbreakable vow. im not a very good villain that’s for sure, my first attemp failed, and my classmate is out cold. i understand if you dont want to write to me anymore, just don’t tell anyone about this, please.

dm.

-

the only words to describe the feeling that overwhelmed her senses as she read were devastation and shock. tears pooled in her eyes as she tried to imagine herself with that much responsibility to wildhold until july. another detail that caught her eye, wizard? what did he mean by wizard? is that the word for dictator in england? certainly he wasn’t talking about the wizards she read about in storybooks as a child. her hand shook slightly and she debated mentioning it.

draco

you’re silly if you think i’d stop writing you. you need company now more than ever. please don’t hold things back from your letters, you deserve someone to talk to. that is quite the situation, im sorry if i pushed you, you do have enough on your shoulders and i want to help you as much as i can. i hate to ask, but you mentioned ‘wizards’ and i am a bit confused.

all my love

yn

-

initially, draco went into shock. he knew he was probably oversharing, but didn’t expect to slip up in that way. he begrudgingly admitted; knowing that if this went badly he would likely be banished from the wizarding world, which didn’t seem like such a horrible punishment to him anymore. and yet she was fascinated, by the coins he sent her, the subjects he learned- which she compared to her own much less exciting ones, and everything he told her about it. he could now talk to her about much more, since both his secrets were now out in the open to her. he told her about the about the houses, and they both agreed she would probably be in hufflepuff, well he thought so, her kind and accepting nature, and she didn’t know enough to disagree. and for the first time in the long time he was seeing things differently, completely diminishing the rude behaviour he often displayed towards the house.

she even sent him a picture, the first time he ever saw her face. a large smile spread across her beautiful features, she seemed to be laughing. eyes glistening in the sun even prettier than he could have imagined. he slept with it under his pillow, and could stare at the still image for hours. no it didn’t move around, but he couldnt care less. he only had one picture of himself in his possession and he was young, about four. she was facinated by the moving image, his blonde hair and attitude shining right through. he would owl his mother for a more recent one, but didn’t want to explain why.

the letters were helping him, but the task wasn’t advancing. his second attempt had failed, he was caught sneaking into slughorns party, and harry was onto him. they were also causing him doubt. say they did get the cabinet fixed, he couldn’t see himself killing dumbledore anymore, the more he talked to her he realized he couldn’t be a killer, as cold as he was to some people, but he had to, didnt he?

most importantly every letter she sent gave him a sense of hope. that the second this is over he could move. away from voldemort, and potter, his parents even, england in whole. perhaps not to canada, but it could be a change, half way across the world with the girl who was helping him stay alive through his letters. he just needed to stay alive long enough too see her.

the seasons changed around draco, but his room stayed the same. hot from mysterious potions, for himself and some for dumbledore, he had not had much hope after the wine, though. it was lonely, not that he’d like y/n here, he’d much rather be there, all the way across the world.

-

may came in a blur, and finals were creeping up. one week y/n sat at her desk, every night, waiting for a letter that didn’t come. on the fifth letterless day she cried. not exactly knowing why, it wasn’t her that had much of a reason to cry, but dracos company had filled her lonely life up with light of its own, leaving it darker than it was before she saw the first letter. she was silly to be so attached and silly to expect him to reciprocate the feelings she had proclaimed in the last one she sent, and should have expected him to stop eventually. so she continued on with school, finding it a bit easier to concentrate now that a draco sized whole was missing from her brain, and her heart aswell.

the next week, though, a letter came, very appreciated by y/n as the whole other universe, british boy forgetting thing wasn’t as easy as it seemed.

y/n

im sorry for not writing, the classmate i mentioned all those months ago woke from the curse, and the potter twat hexed me with a spell id never heard of before. i would have tried to contact with you but i couldn’t exactly trust what my brain was planning on writing, and the cuts are still a bit sore. the cabinets fixed, but even if everything works out okay i won’t be writing very much at all. i’ll be home in july, but the manor will be infested with death eaters and i can’t let you get hurt. thank you for everything l/n.

draco

it stung a little, knowing that the empty feeling the girl just experienced would be more frequent, he didn’t mention anything about what she had said, and that this could be the last time she ever heard from him if he didn’t kill dumbledore. in hindsight, practically telling her she loved him in a letter wasn’t what he needed, she knew that.

-

he left out the fact that he the spell put a him in a huge emotinal draught. he was exhausted constantly, crying even more than before. the cuts were sore, so he wasn’t holding everything back.

the last month of school came and went all to fast for dracos liking, and death eaters now roamed around the castle, causing havoc where ever they could. his trunk had been shurken so small it looked like a small muggle toy he put into his pocket easily. the dark mark that was stretched across his left arm was now hanging in the gray sky, and the headmaster was no where to be seen. he paced anxiously around a vacant corridor until he heard a pop in the astronomy tower. he didn’t think people could apparate into hogwarts, it would have made his job much easier.

‘harry, get snape, i need snape now’ he seemed exhausted, maybe this wouldn’t be as hard

‘sir im going to sit you down okay, and then ill go get madam pomf-‘

‘severus, harry, I need severus now, go get him and talk to no one else’ he said in a shallow yet somewhat urgent and angry tone.

draco waited for footsteps to disappear, before whipping the door open with his wand already ready.

‘oh hello, draco, nice to see you on this fine evening’ he said nonchalantly, leaning his weight against the wall.

‘EXPELLIARMUS’ draco boomed, successfully disarming the man without counter attempts before glancing around to see a second broom

‘who else is here?’ he said sounding confident but feeling the opposite

‘i could ask you the same question, acting alone are you? you don’t seem supported’

‘no, there are death eaters in your school tonight, and i got them here’ he snarked ‘they’ll be up, any minute now, their fighting down below. i’ve got a job to do’

‘well done boy, if you don’t mind me asking a few questions, before you get on with it, im very intrested’ was he kidding? he knew draco was about to kill him right? wanting to stall, and not fully wanting to kill him he nodded his head yes.

‘you seem scared to act until they join you

‘im not scared, you should be scared’ he snarled, unable to contain the fear in his voice any longer any longer

‘oh draco’ he sighed ‘while we wait for your friends arrive, care to explain how you smuggled them in here? i never imagined it possible, especially not by a student’

‘i had to mend the broken cabinet that no ones used for years, there’s another one in borgin and burkes. montague got stuck in told everyone stories about it, how he could sometimes hear what was going on in the shop and sometimes hear hogwarts like a passage, and i was the only one who discovered what it meant. not even borgin, not you either, i did it right under your nose, you didn’t realize anything’ he said

‘you are right, i didn’t know that. i do- on the other hand, know that you aren’t a killer’

he raised his wand a little higher, feeling wheezy and as though his legs would give in any second

‘how you know that, I’ve done despicable things, you wouldn’t even be able to fathom’

it was dumbledore’s time to pause, glancing up at the sky and looking around the room before continuing

‘draco i know you almost killed katie bell and ron weasley. you’ve been trying to kill me all year, forgive me for saying this, but they’ve been very feeble attempts. to be honest ive wondered wheather your heart has truly been in it’

‘it has, and if you knew why didnt you stop me’

‘snape has been watching over you on my orders’

‘ it’s not on your orders, he promised my mother-‘

‘ofcourse he would tell you that, but it happens to be that i trust professor snape’

‘your losing it then, he’s a double agent, he isn’t working for you- he’s been trying to get in on the action all year, helping me and all. doesn’t matter now- he probably doesn’t even know they are here yet, he will wake up tomorrow and no longer be the dark lords favourite, he will be nothing compare to me’ confidence was building within him

‘very gratifying, we all like being recognized for our hard work, but, draco?im standing here wandless and weak, unable to defend myself, and you have not made any move to kill me, dont blame me for believing you will not, but let’s discuss your options’

‘my options’ he laughed ‘im standing here with a wand, about to kill you’

‘oh dear boy, if you were going to kill me you would have when you disarmed me, not stayed for a little chat’

‘i haven’t got any options, don’t you understand, i have to kill you, or he will kill me’

‘okay, if you don’t want to join the order with your mother where we could protect you, i only have one more question’

‘better hurry, theyre on their way’ he almost laughed which was quickly replaced when Dumbledore said his next words.

‘who is y/n l/n’ at that a tear fell down dracos face, and he lowered his wand almost completely

‘i-i don’t know who that is, odd l-last words’ he stuttered

‘draco dont play dumb now, not after we discovered you are very intelligent. we left some of the security measures from last year that Umbridge enabled, and I couldn’t help but notice hundreds of letters flowing to and from her. i looked into student files, ilvermornies too, nothing, id never heard the name, a muggle i presumed. but of all the things, that had me the most confused. i couldn’t figure out why you would be contacting her, so i did some meddling’

‘WHAT DID YOU DO’

‘fiesty all the sudden, are you? i felt bad after opening this, it seemed very personal, and i probably should given it too you sooner, but i was a bit preoccupied double checking my drinks and all’ dumbledore said handing him the letter.

draco

how is the cabinet coming? it’s raining even more here than usual, all day and night. and don’t talk like that, saying you don’t have a future. you do draco, you deserve another chance and infinite amounts of them. you are just a kid, you shouldn’t be forced to be a hero. you are protecting so many people right now, but i don’t need any. you have given my life enough light in the last few months than i ever recall, and im so thankful that letter came to me. i wish you were here with me right now, but i know you can’t be, so just stay alive, okay?

y/n

more tears fell, he hated being so weak at the mention of her, crying before he completed the blessing his father and bellatrix considered the task to be.

‘she’s right, draco, you deserve another chance’

he was speechless, and could tell Dumbledore knew he found his weakness.

‘i always pictured you and pansy, never in a million years imagined you to be in a relationship with a muggle’

‘no matter who does it, your about to be killed, and im not here to discuss my love life am i?’

‘so you do love her?’ before draco could even think he heard a door open and raised his wand, hiding the letter faster than he had ever moved.

‘shut up, they will kill her’ he said quietly and desperately

in walked fenrir greyback, yaxley, and bellatrix. they made banter of their own, but her words replayed. he couldn’t do it.

‘go on draco’ his aunt whispered into his ear, making him shiver.

‘DO IT, DO IT BOY’ she yelled, in a high pitched and annoying voice

he felt a strong arm over his chest, pushing him aside, and he saw the whoosh of snapes robes and an already pleading dumbledore

‘severus, please’

‘AVADA KEDAVRA’ snape shouted, a green flash producing from the end of his wand, hitting the old man square in the chest. draco rushed over to the edge, watching him fall. it was a long way down.

-

the rain had sudsided, sunlight leaking into her room during the day. watching the sky at night, failing to find constellations he described many times to her. her wardrobe was mostly untouched, remaining in pyjamas most of the week. the odd time she did leave, she saw her old friends walking and laughing out her car window. eating and socializing felt like a chore, and she hadn’t communicated with the boy since may. he could be dead, she didn’t know. there was no death on the ‘muggle’ news, and draco wasn’t on the top wanted list, not that he likely would be on the television all the way over here. he could be fine, in wiltshire, going to dinner parties and holding balls. or maybe, he too, was sitting in his room staring at the ceiling for days on end. she had now hung the picture of a young draco by her desk, not needing to worry about anyone seeing. her siblings were once again home, but out living their lives so much that it still felt like they were gone. for the first time she noticed his scroll on the back.

‘i was four when this was taken i believe, my hair is very similar, i was quite sassy, im sure that shows without explanation.’ she blushed while reading, it was true. his hands were on his hips whipping his head around.

-

every day was a surprise around malfoy manor. not the kind of surprise draco liked. not the feeling of butterflies in his stomach when he read y/ns letters, those were replaced by a pit as they were summoned around the large table in the dining room. the first one he attended was horrible, watching his muggle studies teacher being hung above their heads, pleading for the help of severus as she died. he bit his tongue in an attempt to avoid raging about about every comment surrounding muggle culture. each one tore his heart, as he imagined the girl all those kilometres away, the girl he had no contact with, but he looked at her picture as much as possible, and hoped one day he could make her smile again like she did in the image.

-

senior year was here, and y/n schedule picked up once again. her timetable was full, maybe it was best, a distraction, after a whole summer of thinking alone in her room. draco was on her mind at night, no matter how hard she tried to forget. she’d made friends with her creative promotions partner, logan. he was certainly not intrested in her in anyway besides friends, but company after all this time was enjoyable, just in the hour of class

-

draco had little privacy, with death eaters in every hallway, conversing with eachother. wherever he went someone was there, until he finally got sick of it and began going to the garden bench. with a book, sometimes, giving some of the sappy love stories y/n mentioned a try or even the poetry books she sent with noctua awhile back, they were okay, but his heart hurt at the feeling of relation in every line. he could only read one or two poems at a time, without tears forming in his green orbs.

sometimes he went with a pen and a notebook. he wrote about everything. the smell of the plants around him, the feeling in his chest when the dark lord called for a meeting. most of the notebook, though, was filled with poems of his own. and letters he had no intention of sending for her own safety. she wasn’t in harms way, though, other followers were preoccupied with ruining weddings and other things they considered fun. he blabbered on for pages, about how he missed seeing noctua fluttering towards him at breakfast. how he rereads the letter that dumbledore gave him the night he died. how she listened to him rant on and on, giving her support no matter how evil he felt. how he found love where it wasn’t supposed to be.

snow was falling once again, he had to dress in layers, making it hard to write often, the plants started dying as cold settled over and his mother no longer babied him like she used to before the death eaters began inhabiting the mansion. he couldn’t keep himself company any longer and gave into the pressure he put on himself. as long as they were careful, she’d be in no destruction- he prayed as he wrote what seemed to be an appropriate response after all this time.

-

like it had been decades, she flinched at the noise of the owl on the window, carrying a much larger scroll that he’d ever sent before, some parts scratched out and written above. his writing was much less tidy than she remembered, like the letters on the page were anxious for her reaction.

love,

after all this time, im sorry you are just now hearing from me. you have ever single right to be annoyed with me, after you listened to me for months, helping me emotionally in ways i never be able to repay you for. you do not need to forgive me, or write me back. i just wanted to keep you safe. but i needed to tell you everything before it might actually be to late. you’ve probably moved on and forgotten about me, like you should, but i guess im saying that i am alive. i didn’t kill him either. snape did. i thought i was going to be able to, but he started talking about you. he gave me a letter from you that he had already opened, the words repeated in my head over and over. you talked about how i deserved another chance, and how you wish I’d was there with you. right before he died he asked me if i loved you. i knew the answer but didn’t have time to say it. ive read your poetry books, they aren’t as bad as i once thought, i can’t read to many at once. i try to forget what dumbledore said that night, and that night altogether. but one day i read ‘that’s how you know you love someone, i guess. when you cant experience anything without wishing the other person was there to see it too.’ when i sit in the garden i imagine you smelling the flowers, myself picking one and putting it behind your ear. when i go on walks i imagine your hand in mine. youre in my dreams. my never ending thought. i remember the way i felt when we started talking a lot, and how I felt when we didn’t get a chance. you listened to me when no one else offered. not even my parents. i hope your doing okay, and smiling and laughing. i don’t care if we talk about absolutely nothing, i just want to talk to you. i know that’s unfair to you after all ive weighed on you. but i guess that’s all, i love you. draco ♡

well this certainly didn’t get him off her mind. she didn’t need to either. ofcourse she was going to write him back, but she needed time to think about her response. she missed the next day of school, and his owl was comfortably standing on her desk, nibbling away at the water and crumbs. she took an hour long shower, multiple naps, raided her fridge, and had to email the school pretending to be her mum, excusing her for the day. before she even knew what she was going to write, she began on a new piece of paper. she’d have thought longer, but was sure draco would be convinced she stole noctua out of anger.

draco,

wow. i don’t really know what to say. i knew you weren’t a killer, and i meant what i said about you deserving more chances. i will admit i was angry, and a bit confused. i sent that letter with high hopes. i don’t know what i was hoping for at the time, i was being incredibly selfish. but couldn’t help myself feel pained when you didn’t mention it in the next letter when you said harry hexed you. i know we can’t be together, especially not right now, but i love you too. i wish more than anything you were here with me right now, and it was you i’d be graduating with half a year from now. i wish you were in the passenger seat of my car while i drive through the city. i wish you could point out the constellations in the sky. i usually can’t read to many poems either, they get me thinking to much. im ready to write again if you are.

y/n

-

draco hadn’t felt more joy in a long time. around seven months. she loved him, and that was enough happiness for a life time. he just needed to stay alive.

they continued to stay in touch, almost as if they never stopped talking, entertaining eachother as much as possible, masking their separate misery and the distance between them. he could get time away from the reality that was his life for a while, he thought, until snatchers brought the trio he spent so long bickering with to the manor.

a very distorted looking harry fell before him, his hair tightly gripped by bellatrix.

‘well, is it him’ he knew it was harry. and yet a part of him couldn’t bring himself to letting the boy get killed.

‘i can’t be sure’ he lied

‘draco, look closely son’ lucius said loudly, getting a grip on the back of dracos neck before leaning in and whispering.

‘if we are the ones that hand potter to the dark lord, all will be f-forgiven. a-all will go back to how it was’

his father and the and a snatcher quickly got into an arguement. lucius was yelling something about the manor before narcissa calmed him with a hiss.

‘don’t be shy, sweetie come here take a closer look’

draco was know level with him. the scar was still visible on his forehead, and swollen eyes staring back at him, hopeless.

‘what’s wrong with his face’ draco said

‘yes what is wrong with the boys face’ a shrill voice repeated

‘he was like that when we got him, something he picked up in the forest i reckon’

bellatrix walked away, laughing away at something. the blonde boys eyes were still on harry, before he felt a tap on his shoulder. bellatrix began acting out, yelling about a sword, putting ropes around snatchers neck from the end of her wand. sword now in her hand she walked over to ronald weasley, grabbing his collar and demanding that the boys be put in the cellar.

a different draco would have gladly watched a mudblood be tortured by his aunt. but he flinched at every scream of hermione, unable to watch he went to the next room, resisting tears as he thought of the girl he fell for enduring the same. she had moved onto the goblin- ridiculing it about who got into her vault- and hermiones screams were now gone.

‘youre lucky, goblin, the same won’t go for this one’ he heard footsteps

‘like hell it wont’ he heard ron yell, followed by the expelliarmus and what must have been harry stupefying his father. draco rushed in, now dueling a more normal looking harry, until their attention caught on bellatrix, a knife to grangers throat. they dropped there wands, and he did as instructed, picking them up. lucius was summoning the dark lord when they heard a tittering on the ceiling, and the chandlier crashing. it all moved so fast and harry was now wrestling draco for his wand back. he tried, but harry had already pried it out of his cold and shaky hands.

‘STUPID ELF. THAT COULD HAVE KILLED ME’

‘dobby never meant to kill. dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure’ the house elf squeaked, and draco had never resisted a chuckle so hard.

‘HOW DARE YOU TAKE A WITCHES WAND. HOW DARE YOU DEFY YOUR MASTERS’

‘dobby has no master, dobby is a free elf, and he has come to save Harry Potter and his friends.’ and with that they apparated out, not without bella throwing a knife into the mix.

-

meanwhile, y/n was receiving letters of her own. not from draco either. letters from the schools she applied to. so far everything was good, except for princeton, but she didn’t have the highest expectations. she was accepted to the university of british columbia, seattle university, even ucla. she only had one letter left, and the large stuffed yellow envelope sat in her hands. she wasn’t sure about it- would she even be able to go to the univeristy of london? it was far, but draco was there, well closer to there atleast. accepted- it read. it was an option, and she still had weeks to think about it.

-

draco was very hesitant to write after the incident at the manor, the screams of Hermione, and the terrifying looking potter still vivid in his brain and nightmares. he often woke from sleep in a sweat, yet freezing cold. whispers of the war around his house also haunted his mind and soul. he’d walk to the window and look up at the the stars, they were under the same sky, at least. eventually he had to write her, it had been half a month and he couldn’t leave her hanging alone again.

y/n

love, im sorry for being hesitant, but there is going to be a war. i hate to leave you contact-less, but i need you to be safe now more than ever. i couldn’t live with myself if you got hurt. potter and his friends were brought here to the manor, it didn’t last long- they escaped within the hour and a half. with that doped elf, and a goblin too. if you don’t hear from me again, remember i love you. and always will.

draco

of all the letters y/n had recieved, from draco in all, that was probably the most displeasing. a war? like with tanks and bombs? tears were shedding down her face as she wrote the shortest response yet. knowing he most definitely didn’t have time to listen to her talk about schools, and how she got accepted to london, but her parents deemed it to far, ubc would have to do, she’d find her way to him eventually, if they were meant to be.

draco

stay safe, i love you.

yn.

-

draco now stood at snapes new office, dozens of corpses on the floor, pooled in blood. the dark lord speaking parsel tounge to nagini. no one needed to speak it to know that the man was infuriated about something potter had done.

-

the information he left was lacking, was he serious? what did wizarding wars even look like? her graduation date was set, June 6th, but it all seemed irrelevant, suddenly picking out a dress didn’t seem as fun as she thought, same with getting portraits taken. should she have said more?

-

next thing he knew the protection spell was countered and he apparated in, grabbing zabani and goyle by the collar. rushing them into a corridor and waited for the door of the room of requirement to completely vanish before approaching himself. they successfully found harry, opening a box carefully before finally drawing attention to themselves.

‘well well, what brings you here, potter’ draco said, softly, much to his surprise as he meant it to sound snarky and rude

‘i could ask you the same’

‘i believe you have something of mine, and id like it back’ was he becoming… kind?

‘whats wrong with the one you have?’ harry replied

‘it’s my mothers, powerful but different, doesn’t fully understand me, im sure you know the feeling’

‘why didn’t you tell her. bellatrix? you knew it was me, and you didn’t tell her’ he wasn’t exactly sure what to say, nor did he know. harry really didn’t have anything to do with his feelings for y/n, maybe he should have just turned in him when he had the chance, it would all be over if he had.

‘don’t be a wuss draco, just do it now’ goyle whispered in his ear, making him chill the same way bellatrix did on the astronomy tower, almost a year ago.

‘expelliarmus’ hermione half shouted, causing narcissas want to fly out of dracos hands and run the other way.

‘avada kedavra’ goyle missed and weaslebee started chasing after them, yelling something about his girlfriend. turning back around after goyle unsuccessfully casted the fiendfyre curse.

fear was making his body almost rattle as he desperately climbed bookcases in an attemp to outrun the flames. he watched goyle fall, into the orange. yes, he was a complete and utter twat, but wasn’t a half bad friend during dracos bullying peek. his foot slipped, now just his hands were keeping him up, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold on. in the distance he saw the three, zooming off to safety in the distance, leaving them their to die. not that he blamed them, after anything he did to them, he would have probably left himself there aswell.

but potter was flying towards him, arm out-stretched, grabbing onto his own and hoisting himself on the broom. had he already died? must not have, because the heat had finally caughten up. feeling as though he was going to pass out, he gripped tighter onto harry, maintaining his position on the broom. so much for staying safe. the second they made it out, they crashed onto the ground. he wanted to thank harry, but found himself running off instead.

explosions and hexes were being sent everywhere. people dying left and right. giants and trolls and spiders helping, he found himself in the slytherin common room. partially because he wanted to say goodbye, as he never wished to return to the building again once he had the choice. and partially as he was now aware of a large burn on his arm, and he felt a need to put off fighting until absolutely necessary. he entered through the portrait, for the last time. it felt like an aquarium, looking out upon the lake filled windows, merpeople and the giant squid often zooming by. he sat down upon the sofa, where he spent countless hours avoiding homework, plotting against potter and swimming in lust of his pure-blood status that now felt like a curse. he went up to his dorm, where he did very similar things. he wondered as to what he would be doing if he was a muggle right now. picking out a suit for graduation, buying a corsage for his date, but he wasn’t, so he best get going. running his hands along the furniture before leaving, not looking back.

the noise in the entrance courtyard had completely been diminished and draco found his way into the crowd of students pooling in. death eaters swarmed towards them at a painfully slow place, his mother and father near the head of the group. he noticed hagrid, towering above them, carrying what could only have been harrys corpse.

he watched carefully as they approached, trying to wedge himself inbetween and behind other students.

‘harry potter is dead’ voldemort paused ‘from now on, you put your faith in me’ silence fell over the hundreds of people who were know gathered. he swished his robes and turned backwards facing his followers

‘HARRY POTTER IS DEAD’ obnoxious and deafening cackles erupted

‘and now is the time to declare yourselves. come to our side, or die’ even more silence fell.

‘draco’ his father hissed before repeating ‘draco’

he felt eyes fall all over him, gazing expectantly. tears ran down his face.

don’t talk like that, saying you don’t have a future. you do draco, you deserve another chance and infinite amounts of them. was this what she meant? he’d been looking for another chance, maybe this was it.

he shook his head no, and noticed his father had fallen a shade of pale he didn’t know existed.

‘Draco, DRACO’ he yelled, clearly enranged, but before he could continue - a movement shifted in hagrids arms, and harry fell out. in a heartbeat draco threw his wand to the scar faced boy. he caught it, looking grateful as he could while casting some sort of spell at nagini. death eaters were disappearing into the air- including lucius, narcissa being dragged with him.

draco didn’t know what to do with himself, he was wandless and he couldn’t fight, unless he wanted to engage in an actual physical duel, which he didn’t. he found himself in the great hall, asking professor sprout if she needed help patching those up, she pulled him into a hug, unexpectantly. he never recalled such contact or connection with a professor. he spent the rest of the battle helping healing wounds with dittany, and caring for those left in the wake. it was a nice distraction from the fact he would most definitely be disowned, left a family-less orphan at 17.

-

y/n couldn’t blame him for not writing, he clearly stated that it might be the last time. but every night she cried until she couldn’t cry anymore, or until she fell asleep. how could she like him so much? they’d never even met. she didnt really need to see him to know him, his letters told him enough about him. and she could only hope- that if he managed through his six year without killing his headmaster, he could make it through the war.

-

he delayed going back to the manor for as long as possible, until he decided to apparate directly into his room. he considered packing his things up, but realized no one was home. he was thankful, he don’t think he would ever be able to fully confront his parents again. he fell asleep in his bed, and slept for 48 hours straight. he slept through very vivid dreams, ones of y/n being tortured the same way as Hermione, ones of the dark lord coming alive once again and killing his mother because of his choices. he couldn’t bring himself to sleep again purposefully, no matter how exhausted he was. the days weren’t much better, his mind raced at unbelievable paces. he saw the dead bodies laying around the great hall, the unrecoverable ones. maybe he should have just fallen into the fire, surely that would have been easier. he was slowly becoming thinner, and always needed multiple blankets to even stay at a somewhat warm temperature, his heart beat faster than normal. he often felt pains in his neck, and his eyes were almost always puffy from crying. he spent so much time in bed he almost didn’t hear his owl flutter onto his nightstand mid afternoon, a small package tied loosely around his neck.

he opened it to see a letter, muggle candies and a worn book. suddenly he felt more awake, and be shot up a little to fast then he should have, sitting on the edge of his bed.

draco.

i don’t know where you are, or if youre alive, if youre reading this now. i hope this doesn’t arrive at a bad time. but your 18 now, so happy birthday. if you are seeing this, i still love you. i think about you all the time. i hope you are okay, and safe. in case you don’t end up writing me back, i just thought I’d give you some random information to keep you company and away from your mind. i graduate tomorrow. i look at your picture everyday. I remember what you once told me about following my dreams, so instead of medicine, im going to study literature and business next year. im staying in kelowna aswell for now, hoping maybe you’ll be able to visit someday. im sure you’d like it. my favourite colour is still green. i don’t know what else to say.

always here to listen if you’d like to talk. yn.

was it actually his birthday? had it already been a month since the war? it felt like a year but the visions played over and over like it was yesterday. it took him awhile before it clicked. the war was over, Voldemort was dead and there was no one to stop him from seeing her. he completely disregarded the lightheaded feeling he got when he stood up to fast- and rushed to his wardrobe. it took him a bit longer than he thought to pack up all his clothes, including the thousands of letters he kept hidden in a large drawer. the trunk was a bit heavier than he may have thought, and he ended up needing to take a car, in fear that he may not be able to apparate successfully to the airport without injuring himself. he quickly found out that muggle travelling was harder than he thought, and security and customs were also apparently a thing that all people needed to get through.

he wrapped himself in his cloak and didn’t get a drop of sleep the whole plane ride. it was nighttime when they flew over montreal, and then toronto. the sun rose as they crossed through winnipeg, regina, and calgary. he didn’t know this himself ofcourse, but he aggressively hit the map on the screen in front of him, desperate to know where he was. he only got an hour of half decent sleep before he felt rattling of the plane landing, and he gripped tightly onto the arm rests. he struggled for half an hour before he even got sight of his luggage on the moving thing that went round and round. compared to London, kelownas airport was very small and easy to navigate. the air outside was hot, making draco feel even more self concious about his clothing choices.

-

y/n put her hair back into a twist with a clip taking a suprising amount of effort to make sure it looked okay. her makeup was natural looking, nothing crazy but she looked gorgeous none the less. she slipped into her black romper, some canadians didn’t wear their fancy dresses to convocation, only something simple to go with the cap and gown. she arrived at the ceremony, seeing everyone, with excited smiles and laughs, conversing amongst themselves. and every memory came rushing back. they sat in rows on a stage, listening to the heartfelt and extremely cheesy speech the staff made every single year. she’d never noticed how many kids were in her age group until they were being called up one by one.

‘alex can’

‘ruth lee’

and the list went on and on until finally

‘y/n l/n’ the moment had come, and she shook everyone’s hand, receiving her diploma and flipping her caps tassel to the left. ‘y/n is staying around next year, and attending the university of british columbia okanogan, good luck l/n’ her principal said and claps continued like they had and the rest of the list finished sooner, or seemed to go by faster, she wasn’t sure. 

-

draco had never had to find a taxi by himself, but once he did he gave the driver the only place he knew, the address he saw on the top corner of her first response almost two years ago.

-

y/n pulled away from the school grounds, watching them disappear in her rear view mirror. it was hot with a breeze, but she smiled the whole way home. she’d done it, made it through every assignment and class, dealt with attention hungry bitches, and crappy teachers. the next door was truly opening. pulling up to her house, and closing her car door as she hopped out, she watched her feet carry her up to the house. turning the corner, she saw him, sitting there on her steps, a present wrapped horribly in his hands, looking very out of place in his black cloak. she stopped in her own steps and he hesitantly stood up, before she launched herself into his arms breathing in his cologne, finally together after all this time.

[baroquebucky]

Italian days

request: could you write something about going to Italy with timothee? Im just imagining how cute and romantic it would be 🥺

a/n: this is so cute !!! prepare for typical tourist attractions also i have no idea where any of these things are in relation to each other so :-) i literally googled what to do in these places bc I’ve never been sorry guys:-( this ones long so strap in and get ready !!! let me know what y’all think abt it ! i kinda wanna make headcanons about this too hehe >:) I hope you all enjoy it and send me some requests 🥰

You quickly finished packing your last t shirt in the already full suitcase, putting your weight onto it so that you could zip it up fully. You were excited for the trip that timothee had planned for the two of you, giddy to finally spend some alone time with you favorite boy. “ma cherie are you almost done?” you heard timmy call out from the living room. Quickly you grabbed the final bag off the bed and scanned the room, going over a mental checklist to ensure you didn't forget anything. 

“okay i have everything, did you get everything? Do you have all the things you need? What time is it? Are we gonna be late? Oh god what if the plane leaves without us” you began to ramble, going through every worst case scenario possible. Timothee looked at you in awe, he had never seen you this nervous about anything before, he least expected it to come out right before a romantic getaway.

“angel, calm down, it’s fine let’s go to the airport we’re right on time” he smiled at you, giving you a quick kiss before he helped you with your bags and you two headed to the Uber waiting outside your shared apartment. As you helped him squeeze the luggage in you both sat in the backseat, you were so excited for the trip.

“You know we should go to Paris for our next anniversary” timmy spoke offhandedly, mindlessly playing with your hair as the movie you had chose played on the tv. “That would be fun, I’ve never been there” you smiled, looking at him briefly before your eyes settled on the screen again.

“where have you traveled to?” He questioned, curious as to all the places you’ve visited. “mmm i mean I’ve never been to Europe, i left the state a couple times for road trips but that’s about it” you replied, not thinking anything of the question. “You mean to tell me that you’ve never been to Italy?” He gasped and you laughed at his shock.

“We aren’t all stars or rich Chalamet” you suppressed laughter but one look at his facial expression caused you to burst into a fit of laughter. “That’s it im booking a flight to Italy, we can go to venice and oh we could even travel to where we filmed call me by your name! And then we could go to Rome!” He gushed, moving quickly to get his laptop.

You were excited, until you realized you had $20 in your wallet and maybe $67 in you bank account. “Timothée wait no” you spoke, rushing behind him to stop him. He turned around confused as to why you didn’t want to go.

“do you not wanna go? I thought you liked Italy? You show me videos about people going there all the time” he asked, searching your face for an answer. “I do! I’ve always wanted to go there” you stated, sighing as your gazes met. “it’s just- how am i gonna pay for my ticket? I don’t have enough money and-” before you could finish timothée cut you off.

“what makes you think you’re paying?” He grinned, running to the room to get the laptop once again. You messed with your fingers for a second, you didn’t want him to spend money on you, you’ve always felt bad about it.

“timmy no you can’t just buy me a ticket there” you spoke, walking into the room, seeing the boy sitting on the bed, legs crossed with the laptop in his lap. He furrowed his brows and replied without looking up from his screen. “Why not? You’re my girl, think of it as a present” he smiled, you opened your mouth to protest but he quickly stopped you.

“i just bought them so you can’t take it back” he beamed, you frowned for a second before he gave you the puppy eyes. Of course you couldn’t resist, you tackled him with a hug and kissed him, thanking him a million times.

And so here the two of you were, sitting in the backseat on your way to the airport, going over the loose itinerary timothée had made for the two of you once you landedin Venice. He had gone beyond what you expected to make this trip memorable despite telling him to not worry.

When you got to the airport everything went surprisingly smooth despite you being nervous the whole time. The two of you bought breakfast and ate it in the little food court, then headed to the gate which your plane would be in and played games while waiting to board.

Once the plane arrived the two of you got on, of course he had bought first class, you wanted to scold him for spending so much but as soon as you saw how excited he was you couldn’t be mad at him. “look! we get pillows and everything” he giggled, you smiled at him and nodded, equally as excited as him. The two of you ended up watching two movies, falling asleep during the second one.

You woke up first, smiling at the sight of timmy with messy hair, mouth slightly parted and cheeks lightly flushed as he slept. You decided to wait on waking him up, instead you occupied yourself by looking out the window and listening to your music.

The landing woke timothée up and he smiled at you brightly, it took him a couple minutes to really wake up, mumbling incoherently before he came fully to his senses.

As soon as you got off the plane you were excited, pulling timothée along to get out of the airport as soon as possible. When you finally got everything and exited you got into the car timothée had ordered for the two of you and headed to the hotel to unpack.

Timothée posted a picture of you staring out the window in awe onto his Instagram story, “she’s excited right now, just wait until she sees the canals” he wrote, smiling as he thought of all the pictures the two of you would take.

You expected an average hotel room, if timothée really splurged then maybe above average, you did not expect to get the presidential suite at a five star hotel. The smile on your face made everything worth it to timothée, he made sure this trip would be memorable. “Timothée Hal Chalamet! How much did you fucking spend!” You squeaked, rushing around the room to check everything on.

“That doesn’t matter, what matters is that you get changed and get ready, we’re in Venice for two days before our next stop and I have so much for us to do” he smiled, pulling you in for a kiss which you quickly returned. Resting your head on his chest you sighed, taking a Monet to let everything sink in. You’re in Italy with the love of your life. Holy shit.

Timothée had bought multiple disposable cameras for the two of you to use, wanting to develop all of them by the time you guys got back home.

Before you knew it you were wandering the streets of Venice, a permanent smile on your face as you took so many photos of the scenery and of timothée and of course together. The two of you visited the top tourist spots like Saint Marks Basilica, the both of you in awe of its beauty and laughing until your stomach hurt feeding the pidgeons.

Timothée was scared for his life when a pidgeon landed on his shoulder, immediately going stiff and begging for you to help him. You quickly pulled out your phone, recording him and zooming into his face, a face of pure fear. After you posted it you quickly shooed the pidgeon away, holding his hand and a small pidgeon landed on your shoulder and you fed it out of your free hand.

You smiled brightly at timothée who had moved away from you slightly causing you to giggle. “You laugh now but I’m gonna be the one poop free, those things are ruthless” he stated, a serious look on his face which quickly turned soft as you attempted to pet the bird on you. “Look at him he’s so cute!” You gushed, drowning as it flew away.

“Cmon sweet girl, we have a ride to catch, in the canal” he winked and you gasped, pulling him before you stopped, realizing you didn’t know where you were even going.

When the two of you arrived he helped you into the boat, it was only the two of you and the one driving the small boat, you were sitting next to each other, pointing at everything, a constant smile on both of your faces. He held your hand the whole time, most of the time looking at you rather than the sights you were in such awe of. A small smile on his face as he admired how beautiful you looked, you looked so stress free and happy and he knew everything else he had planned was so worth it if he got to see you like this.

After the ride on the canals the two of you ate at a small little restaurant, drinking some wine and talking about the days events.

“I just think it’s funny that you were that scared of the pidgeons” you giggled, and he frowned at you, “i wasn’t scared, i was just- cautious” he smirked, watching you roll your eyes at his remark.

The two of you finished dinner, walking around the now calmer streets, admiring everything at night for about an hour, kissing under streetlights and chasing one another through the streets, laughter bouncing off the buildings.

The two of you showered once you got back to the hotel and absolutely crashed after you had snuggled under the sheets. The two of you exhausted from the plane ride and walking everywhere all day.

You both woke up late in the morning to the sound of timothées alarm, you yawned, burying yourself more into timothées side, wanting ten more minutes. “Wake up mon amour i still have some stuff planned for today before we leave for Florence” he spoke softly into your hair, kissing the top of your head. He had decided to skip on taking you to Crema, deciding it would make for a good excuse to come back.

You woke up slowly, getting ready and waiting for timothée on the bed once you had finished. You were starving but you didn’t want to eat without him. You laid on your stomach and dozed off only to wake up to a now fully dressed timothée, smiling at you and kissing your nose. “let’s go eat and then we can head out” he whispered and you nodded, getting up from the bed and following him out the door.

The two of you spent the day walking around and seeing anything else you wanted, eating much too much food and buying way too many souvenirs. The day seemed to fly by and before you knew it you were headed to Florence, of course shoving all your luggage into the bus that the two of you were taking to the wonderful city. You slept most of the way while timothée read through a script for a new movie. He woke you up gently when you guys arrived, piling out along with everyone else as the two of you found the car timothée had ordered for this city, heading to yet another 5 star hotel with an amazing room.

It was late at night so the two of you only slipped into bed and set an alarm for later tomorrow morning, cuddling through the whole night, waking up once to eat some of the fruit that the hotel had given to the two of you as a gift.

The next morning the alarm went off and you quickly turned it off, placing your head on timothées chest, a smile on your face while he played with your hair.

“let’s get ready, i have something special planned, wear that one outfit you brought, you know the one that you said you’ve always wanted to wear?” He smiled, a mischievous glint in your eye. You gave him a kiss on the cheek and nodded, going to get ready.

After you finished you scrolled through your phone, replying to people and sifting through the pictures from Venice, deleting the ones which turned out bad or way too blurry. You decided to lay on your side, thinking you wouldn’t fall back asleep but you were wrong. Before you knew it you felt a gentle nudge.

“Cmon sleeping beauty i have a picnic for us” he beamed, a twinkle in his eye. You woke up quickly, a giant grin on your face as your mouth fell open. “A picnic? Oh my god this is a dream, angel you’re so amazing oh my god! I love you so much” You gushed, tackling timothée once you got off the bed and hugging him tightly, kissing him all over his face.

“i love you more ma cherie, now lets go” he smiled, opening the door for you and quickly taking your hand while walking down the halls.

You had ended up accidentally falling asleep in the car, head on timothées shoulder, he recorded you, saving it but not posting it, knowing if he did you would get him back and start a full fledged war.

As the car approached the Piazzle Michaelangelo he shook you softly, your eyes fluttered open and a small smile overtook your features. “Oh my god it’s so pretty” you gasped as the two of you stepped out of the car and onto the concrete floor, he got the picnic basket from the car as you went to save a spot on the steps. He quickly found you and opened the basket between the two of you, eating the food and making conversation, laughing and enjoying the fact that both of you were in Italy, overlooking Florence.

After sitting there for a while, cuddling and pointing things out the two of you drove into the city, excited to see everything the city had to offer. The two of you walked down the streets hand in hand, taking pictures once more and in awe of the beauty the city offered.

Of course the two of you drove all over the city visiting museums, seeing all the statues and artworks you had always admired through your phone screen. You almost wanted to cry of happiness seeing everything in person, you walked quickly in the museums, timothée barely keeping up with you as you rushed everywhere, making sure you absorbed every last detail.

Of course timothée took the typical you looking at art picture, and of course he posted it and captioned it “art looking at art” causing his fans to go feral, everyone tweeting and posting about how cute the two of you were. You held timmys hand when you realized he was dragging behind, pulling him along and forcing him to move at your speed.

“oh my god I love this painting, look at the brushstrokes! I read once that when he was painting this-” you began, going into detail about said artists life. Timothée stared at you, his chest swelling with love, a smile on his face as you went on and on about the paintings, he hung onto every word you said, loving the way your eyes lit up and the amount of emotion in your voice as you spoke of what you loved.

After you had visited the museums l, the two of you walked all over the city, taking in the culture and also taking many breaks and calling a cab to go to places he had planned to take you. Of course he set up a reservation at a fancy restaurant, eating to your hearts delight and drinking amazing wine, overseeing the bustling city as the sun set.

“i cannot believe we’re in Florence Italy” you sighed happily, looking out at the city while you sipped on your wine, timothée smiled at you. “I don’t know how I’m ever going to thank you enough angel, you really made my dreams come true” you spoke, turning towards your curly headed boyfriend and he shook his head.

“you don’t have to thank me ma cherie. I love seeing you happy, you deserve the world and I’m going to give everything i can to you, you’ve always supported me through anything and everything, you know me so well, i just love you so much” he answered. “but- you can thank me by letting me post a bunch of pictures of you everywhere” he smiled shyly, blushing slightly. You smiled brightly at him, your love for him growing. “oh baby of course” you giggled.

The next day was just as action packed, going to multiple cathedrals and basilicas which you hadn’t gotten to the day before, and then spending time in the gardens, taking so many pictures of each other, half of them turning out blurry because the two of you couldn’t stop laughing.

He held you hand the whole time, keeping you close to him the whole time, kissing you at times and always looking at you with so much love. All over Twitter and Instagram were pictures of the two of you holding hands and laughing, many of them with one of the two of you pointing at something, many of the ones with you pointing had timothée looking at you with a smile rather than what you were showing him, it gave you butterflies.

That night you headed to the hotel early, packing everything to catch the late night flight to Rome, the last destination on the trip. The two of you packed quickly, racing to see who would finish first. This made timothée sneak up behind you and unfold your tshirts, run back to his area and rush to finish, an attempt to beat you. You were one step ahead, you had hidden his shampoo so you had no problem re folding while he ran around everywhere.

“I’m done!” You announced proudly, smiling at your boyfriend and he rolled his eyes, a pout on his face. “That’s not fair! I finished before you i just lost my shampoo” he responded, you smirked at him. “Check under your pillow” his eyes went wide and raced to get it, jaw dropping when he found it. “y/n i swear one day im gonna beat you at these competitions” he huffed, pushing you playfully and you shoved him back laughing.

The two of you cuddled the whole time in the airport, attached to the hip, and napping until your flight boarded, where the two of you also slept the whole time. When you finally arrived in Rome, you both headed to the hotel, knocking out there too, excited for the next two days in Rome before returning home. The two of you only had two cameras left, it filled you with excitement to get the photos developed, knowing you would have so many pictures of him to post and an endless amount of wallapapers.

When the two of you awoke the next morning you headed out quickly, excited to spend yet another day together.

“timothée oh my god look at that dog! Do you think he speaks Italian?” You questioned, smiling at the small dog that walked past the two of you. “I’m sure he does my angel” he replied, laughing. Pulling you along the busy street, putting his arm around your waist.

The two of you marveled at the colosseum, mind running wild at the thought of people using it. “You think they ever had a concert in there?” You asked your boyfriend who giggled, “im not so sure they did my angel” you thought about someone using it today. “What if someone tried to have on in there today” you smiled and timothée quickly replied, “as soon as the speakers start blasting everything would just crumble” you laughed at the thought of someone wanting to have fun only to ruin one of the most iconic pieces of history.

The two of you walked along the streets, holding hands and swinging them back and forth, debating where to go next. “How about the pantheon?” You suggested and he nodded with a smile, “you read my mind darling.”

The two of you got there surprisingly quickly and sat down for a second, both of your guys’ feet hurting. You put your head on timmys shoulder, closing your eyes for a second, you could hear everyone talking, the sound of cars and the wind. “Are you tired mon amour?” Timothée asked, not wanting to tire you out so much, he wanted you excited and happy not tired.

“just a bit, but I’m sure it’ll leave as soon as we see the Vatican” you spoke, a smile forming on your face as you opened your eyes and looked at the brunette next to you. He kissed your cheek, getting up and extending a hand to help you up. “Let’s go see what all those shops we passed have had to offer later yeah?” He grinned and you nodded, stretching a little before falling into step with him.

The two of you arrived at the Vatican and you swear you had never felt more in awe than staring at everything inside, everything was so adorned and beautiful, even the pillars on the outside when the two of you were waiting (only for like 5 minutes) made you smile in amazement. Timothée and you kept pointing out everything, a smile on both of your faces. Both of your cheeks hurt from smiling so much but neither of you complained, too happy to care.

After the two of you walked around for a bit more you left and entered the busy streets of Rome once again, taking pictures of each other all the time and stopping to look at anything and everything. “Let’s go get something to eat” you suggested. “Oh yeah I’m starving after all that walking” he replied, pulling out his phone to find a nice place to get food.

Soon enough he found a nice spot and the two of you arrived there quickly, excited to eat. After ordering and eating the two of you sat in comfortable silence, taking the time to wind down before going back out. “can we go to the Trevi Fountain? I brought coins for us to throw in” you asked and timothée wanted to kiss you all over and hug you and never let you go because god you were so fucking cute.

“of course we can go mon amour, are you ready to go right now?” He asked and you nodded, he paid quickly before taking his hand in yours, the two of you walking slower than before, you were leaning on him slightly, he was talking about some story that had happened to him in high school. You don’t remember exactly how the story had come up but you were grateful that it had.

As the two of you continued walking hand in hand and smiling at the sights you realized that no one had disturbed the two of you this whole trip which was very surprising, but you were grateful that his fans were respectful of the two of you. “okay i told you am embarrassing story of me in high school you tell me one” he pushed and you groaned, stealing the water bottle from his hands and gulping down the drink.

“i wasn’t really embarrassing in high school, i had like five friends and we always looked out for one another, middle school i was the biggest emo alive” you shuddered thinking back to all the diary entries you had made. “I remember i wrote this one poem that was so cringe and i thought it was the best thing ever written” you cringed at the memory and he bursted our laughing, leaning into you as he did so.

“Do you still have said diary?” He questioned, a mischievous smile forming on his face, “back at my parents house yeah” you replied, narrowing your eyes at him, “but you will never lay your eyes on a single one of those pages Hal” you sternly replied, smiling as he rolled his eyes and pulled you closer to him, putting his arm around you. “We’ll see about that one” he smiled.

“oh my god! Timmy there it is!” You shrieked, energy suddenly overflowing as you ran, pulling timothee with you causing him to almost trip over his feet. You pushed through the crowd, saying excuse me and sorrys until you got the the front of the fountain. Timothée arrived a couple seconds after you, out of breath and amazed at how fast you had ran.

“ma cherie you need to slow down” he spoke, leaning over to catch him breath. You stared at the fountain in awe, a smile sprawled across you face, taking in the beauty of it all. “I can’t believe I’m really here” you whispered, timothée got up, wrapping both his arms around your waist. “Believe in my love” he smiled, kissing you on the cheek.

Suddenly you heard a crack of thunder and soon enough rain started pouring, the once crowded area was now close to empty as everyone ran for shelter, you and timothée didn’t budge, mainly because you didn’t even flinch and refused to move.

you turned to timothée, hair sticking to both of your foreheads a wild smile on your face as you dig into your pocket, looking for the coins you had brought. Quickly you handed one to timothée. “Ready?” You smiled and he nodded. “Okay, 1, 2, 3!” You shouted, the coins flipping into the water at the same time. Turning to timothée you found him smiling at you and you laughed.

“When in Rome” you said before bunching his shirt into your fist and pulling him into a kiss, you eyes shutting as rain fell around the two of you. The kiss was what you imagined the movie ones were like, passionate and loving. You smiled into the kiss before you opened your eyes and pulled away.

“you drive me crazy y/n” he whispered, a giant smile on his face as you wiped away the water from your eyes and pushed the hair out of your face. “Should we get out of the rain?” You giggled and he nodded, “probably, we don’t wanna get sick” he joked and you punched him. “Don’t fucking jinx it!” You yelled, running to the nearest shelter you could find, which so happened to be a tourist shop.

Shopping with timothée was always fun, shopping with timothée in another country was another level. He wanted to buy you everything you looked at, he would buy you at $50 shirt if you really wanted it. The two of you were dripping wet and needed to buy new clothes or else you would definitely get sick. You ended up wearing tacky tourist shirts, getting matching ones of course and buying souvenirs for everyone back home as well as a few things to decorate and to keep for yourselves.

Considering how hard it was pouring and the fact that the two of you now had wet socks you decide to call it a day and go back to the hotel room, not wanting to get sick considering tomorrow was the last day. You were glad that it was already 5 pm, you wouldn’t have missed that much that you had planned and you could easilh get to them tomorrow.

You guys quickly got into a car and made your way back to the hotel, opting on showering together. As the two of you stepped in you let out a sigh at the feeling of the warm water. You let the water rinse the two of you off before shutting it off and getting timothées shampoo, telling him to turn around so you could wash his hair.

“thank you for this whole trip baby, it’s really been a dream come true” you spoke, massaging the shampoo into his hair. “Im sorry that it rained sweetheart, i really wanted us to be able to do everything because this was supposed to be perfect and-” you frowned at him despite his back being to you. “Timothée you can’t control the weather! And even then this trip is already perfect because I’m here with you. I’m in Italy with the love of my life dammit, ive drank so much good wine and eaten even more good food! We haven’t gotten this much time alone in god knows how long, you’ve literally had a chauffeur in every city so that we didn’t have to worry about parking and you made us an itinerary! Everything about this trip has been perfect, even the hiccups in the road.” You stated, smiling at the memories the two of you had already made.

You turned the water back on to rinse the shampoo out of his hair and he smiled at you, kissing you on the forehead. “And plus, i finally got my kiss in the rain AND it was infront of the trevi fountain, how am i supposed to complain again ever?” You smiled up at him, he laughed and quickly closed his eyes as shampoo rinsed from his hair. He grabbed your shampoo and began to wash your hair, you relaxed at his touch and closed your eyes.

“I love you so much angel, you don’t even understand” he whispered, you hummed in response. He gave you a soft kiss to your neck, giving you goosebumps.

Soon enough you guys hopped out of the shower, warm and clean and changed into some pijamas, snuggling into bed and looking out of the giant window next to you. Between the sound of the rain hitting the window and timothées soft breathing, you quickly dozed off, not caring that it was only 6:30 pm and you’d probably wake up at 2 am with an insane amount of energy. Timothée asked you something,confused as to why you weren’t replying until he looked at you, a bashful smile on his face when he saw you sleeping.

“you know i love you so much, you mean the world to me mon amour, there isn’t anything i wouldn’t do for you” he whispered, brushing your hair lightly to get it out of your face. He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, turning the lights off in the room before closing his eyes and drifting off the sleep alongside you.

You ended up not even waking up throughout the night, instead sleeping until early the next morning. You hadn’t realized how tired you had been until now since you were more energetic than ever, excited to get as much in on the last day.

Timothée was the one dragging you around everywhere today, determined to get through the list had made, you smiled at him as he explained everything to you, surprised at how much he knew. “When did you make this list anyway?” You asked over lunch, looking up at him after you chewed your food. “I woke up at 2am and i couldn’t sleep but i didn’t wanna wake you up so i made this list and researched everything so i can give you the full tour guide experience” he replied, a giant smile on his face as you gawked at him.

“yeah that’s it, I’m gonna marry you” you shrugged, continuing to eat as timothée blushed and kept eating. The conversation flowing easily between the two of you and a comfortable silence falling into place at times.

The day continued quickly, visiting many more sites and before you knew it your disposable camera came to an end, and 30 minutes later so did timothées as the sunset. The two of you sat down on a bench, waiting on your guys’ driver to arrive so the two of you could pack up and head home.

“i can’t believe it’s over” you smiled softly, sad that it was over but happy that it happened. “Don’t worry mon amour im sure we’ll be back soon enough” he smiled and you put your head on his shoulder. “I love you with everything I have timothée” you spoke, looking up at him from your position. He kissed your forehead gently, “i love you so much more y/n” he smiled.

The two of you once again raced to pack up, you purposefully ‘lost’ your favorite shirt and let him win, although he would always hold it against you, it didn’t matter because you would lose over and over and over again if it meant seeing the amount of joy on his face when he shouted “IM DONE” and looked over at you with an unzipped suitcase.

As the two of you were waiting at the airport gate you had to make the obligatory Instagram post, gathering pictures of the two of you together and of yourself to post, you smiled as you picked out the photos. Searching the internet to see if anyone had caught the two of you kissing in the rain in front of the fountain, which of course they had. You looked over at a napping timothée, smiling as you set the photo as your lockscreen and added it to your post, quickly you typed out your caption.

“Italian days <3”

[xcherry-popx]

if its not too weird to ask, could you write some posts abt rad + asd (either one or both/abt comorbidity)? cuz i wanna find more info abt them & i saw stuff saying asd/rad cmrbidity was impossible too & think i may have both. i have zero access to mental health help atm and will for a pretty long time so im just doing what i can as i wait, document my symptoms and stuff and try to cope, for now. (btw im saying this 2 clarify tht im not trying to be invasive or out of curiosty. sry its so long)

It's no problem! Honestly, I'm excited to hear about someone like me, with how uncommon it is. No need to worry about it being long, because my answer ended up long as well ^-^;;

I wrote this quicker than I expected, so please forgive any mistakes, and feel free to ask for clarification. 

I’m mostly going to use the term ‘RAD’ (reactive attachment disorder), but a lot of this information applies to DAD (disinhibited attachment disorder) as well. I was diagnosed when they were still grouped together as RAD.

If any information does not apply to both, I’ll specify the differences between them.

First off: there is no reason autism and RAD can’t be comorbid. Now, most psychologist insist that they cannot exist together, but this is outdated. Unfortunatly, because RAD is so uncommon, very little discussion occurs, and thus any progress in understanding the disorder takes a bit of time.

Fortunately, some discussion has begun. This study is one from 2017. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27895198/

As of now, it’s the only scholarly discussion, but hopefully that will change in time.

Essentially, autism is something you’re born with, while Reactive Attachment Disorder is the result of severe neglect or mistreatment.

The study found that several children diagnosed with RAD met the criteria for autism. The difference in children with autism and RAD vs children with only RAD can be distinguished by focusing on traits specific to autism.

That’s actually how I first suspected I had both: I looked through several diagnosis lists and checked whether I had symptoms exclusive to each list.

One of the current diagnostic criteria for RAD  and DAD is that the child cannot also be diagnosed with autism. This is because RAD, and later, DAD, were often used to explain ‘autistic-like behavior’ in children who either did not show signs of autism early on, or who experienced severe mistreatment.

The main reason this is outdated is because it relies on the belief that autistic individuals do not form attachments to caregivers, which many autistic people will tell you is false. That all relates back to the idea that because autistic people show affection differently, they do not feel it the way allistic people do, which is, again, false.

It’s often difficult to get an RAD diagnosis, much less one along with an autism diagnosis. However, it’s not impossible, although for me it involved two different diagnosises that my grandma and I realized made most sense together.

Under the cut, I’m going to talk more generally about RAD and DAD as well as about my experiences.

 You said you don't have much access to mental health help, but I felt I should include this next segment anyways. 

Attachment therapy, one of the most well-known treatments, is harmful. I would suggest avoiding it. It goes against attachment theory, the basis of RAD. I don’t say this to scare you, but it is coercive and has resulted in death in some cases. You can look into it yourself, but it is rather sickening for me, so please take care if you do so.

While most advice involves making sure the child has an emotionally available ‘attachment figure’, usually a caretaker, that assumes you would want someone to connect to that way.

As someone with inhibited type RAD, I always struggled when people asked if I wanted to be closer to my grandma. To me, we were like strangers, maybe coworkers. I didn't want to open up to her, and so I still don’t.

I believe that, while it’s nice to have a friendly relationship with caretakers, it’s not necessary. For me, it’s always been more important to have friends I can open up to.

Don’t feel pressured to form an emotionally intimate relationship if you don’t want to or feel ready for it. I still don’t think I’m close to my grandma, but we feel like acquaintances now, and that’s enough for me. You don’t have to force a relationship, but don’t be afraid if you want to start one.

Of course, you may have different experiences, or be in a different place with your caretakers, but since I've struggled with that aspect I wanted to talk about it.

Most treatment for RAD is under the assumption that the child is young, which I assume you are not. In general, I suggest finding people you can trust, if you don’t have them already. I don’t want to make too many assumptions here, so if you want more specific advice feel free to ask me.

While RAD is the result of mistreatment such as abuse or neglect, it’s rare even among those who have experienced such things. There’s some debate on why it occurs, and I believe many theories suggest disposition can make one susceptible? But I’m not entirely certain on that front. Also, I’d like to clarify one thing. While most criteria says the mistreatment must begun before age five, it’s not necessary. What happened to me was when I was 11, and it changed me enough that I gained a official diagnosis of RAD a few years later. What matters is how it affected you, not when it occurred.

Now, I’ve mentioned there’s a difference between RAD and DAD, but I haven’t specified what it is. I'll explain that, but to do so I need to talk about how they form.

The basis of RAD and DAD is what’s called attachment theory. This states that young children need strong bond with at least one caregiver to develop. The bonds with their caregivers dictate how their attachment style forms. However, RAD and DAD have their own types of attachment, referred to as inhibited attachment and disinhibited attachment.

They used to both be classified as RAD, separated under the categories ‘inhibited type’ and ‘disinhibited type’.

Many people with inhibited or disinhibited type will show signs of both, but can usually be classified as one or the other. I am inhibited type, but when I was younger I showed signs of disinhibited type in places such as school.

Inhibited attachment is what’s known as Reactive Attachment Disorder. It’s more common in mistreated children. This type is when a child avoids or ignores caregivers, often not showing affection unless convinced to.

Disinhibted attachment is what’s now known as Disinhibited Attachment Disorder. This is more common in children in institutions or group homes. This type shows affection to any and all adults. They are quick to trust strangers. When my grandma worked in foster care, she had some children who, after less than a day of meeting her, would cling to her leg and beg her to take them home.

In this case, inhibited types struggle to form attachments, while disinhibited types will form attachments quickly and easily, with no preference towards their caregivers.

I think that’s all for official information, so I'll talk a bit about my experiences with RAD.

Honestly, it’s isolating. It’s often seen as something that happens to children, and no one talked about adults with it. There’s numerous psychologists who’ll misdiagnose it in foster teens for not showing affection to adoptive parents ‘the way theyʻre supposed to’. Many people treat people with RAD or DAD as ‘psychopaths’, and there’s numerous times I’ve seen it listed as ‘terrifying’, even among the social workers that meet kids with it.

It's discouraging. But I want to tell you that you aren’t alone. I’d be happy to talk to you about your experiences, and share my own. I have hope that people will begin to recognize this disorder despite how uncommon it is, and see it for what it is.

In any case, I hope you are able to find the diagnosis you need, even if it doesn’t turn out to be this one. I wish you the best of luck!

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au pt 9

post directory

obsetress: ready ok ot4 hc incoming

em: ot4! ot4! ot4

obsetress: after dani breaks up with her viola cuts all her hair off n it's the first impulsive thing she's ever allowed herself to do in her whole life (which should also tell you exactly how fucked up she was by it) n so then we have

obsetress: short curly hair viola

em: what is wrong with you

em: oh i love a dramatic haircut as a motif

obsetress: by the time she and rebecca start hooking up it's grown into a long bob and she keeps that for a while tbh because like

obsetress: viola has impulses all the time but she either: suppresses them, or thinks about them and then does them to the point where they can no longer be considered impulsive

obsetress: vs um

obsetress: dani has impulses all the time and used to suppress them but then fully leaned into

obsetress: charging headfirst into whatever the fuck (vp speech ref sheds a tear)

em: OTP: dont you wanna go apeshitt

obsetress: and thinking about how people change u and rub off on u for the better even after they leave

obsetress: viola: wants to go apeshitt

obsetress: viola: thinks about going apeshitt, thinks about all the ways it would benefit her, thinks about how she would enjoy it even if it did not in any way benefit her

obsetress: viola: yes ok don't you wanna go apeshitt

em: no but i am i am thinking abt like. dani and viola as both sort of? dragged into being housewives and homemakers because Women n viola didn’t really have the power to change her situation (even if she got isabel out of it!) and dani actually managed to call it off

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: grits teeth

obsetress: once again crying over very intentional very deliberate danvi parallels that no one else wants to talk about and i think even in this au right

obsetress: viola is socialized in such a specific space that this can very much still be true

obsetress: and i think like part of what draws her to dani is exactly that––that dani had the freedom to do that much sooner––but also she resents dani for exactly that too

obsetress: even when they're together, and that's the possession piece too

obsetress: i think a part of her thinks if she can't do it for herself she can have it for herself and that's close enough

obsetress: like she v much covets dani

em: ah the unique way that lesbians fuck each other up bc of living in a homophobic and misogynistic society

em:i mean who doesn’t covet danis ass

obsetress: literally and metaphorically

obsetress: and part of dani definitely knows that but part of dani (at least until she doesn't) likes it

obsetress: (also this is kinda what i was getting at w my insane lil pwp alfjadslf but i think it tracks here too)

obsetress: because she's like "well this is what it's supposed to be but it didn't work with eddie because i don't like men but now i'm with a woman and this is how it's supposed to be"

obsetress: "and i like being wanted it's nice to be wanted by someone i want for once"

obsetress: but yeah thinking a lot about the danvi dynamic once again

obsetress: viola short curly hair to viola long bob

obsetress: YEAH I JSUT

obsetress: WENT TO HER INSTA TO FIND

obsetress: AND THEN GOT

obsetress: SO DISTRACTD

[em note: edited out a 30 minute tangent going through pictures from kates instagram]

obsetress: so anyway the whole point of this. long bob viola

obsetress: rebecca loves long bob viola she rly loves um. sitting on her lap and running her fingers back through her hair

obsetress: when she and dani see each other again for the first time dani's all "oh. you cut your... hair" and vi's like "i did" and dani's like "it, um. looks... it looks... good?"

em: i think it’s nice when viola does something for herself :)

obsetress: it's nice :)

obsetress: i'm happy for her :)

obsetress: wish she didn't have to look so much hotter though :)

obsetress: don't make that face, babe, it's fine :)

obsetress: you know i love you :)

em: WAIT

em: dani had a fucking moment. she’s like

obsetress: oh dani likes her girls w curly hair huh

em: counting on her fingers. how many ppl has she dated w

em: YEAH

obsetress: YEAHDLKFJSLDFDFJSLDFj

em: CURLY BROWN HAIR

obsetress: OH MGOD EDDIE TOO

obsetress: NOT JUST GIRLS

obsetress: aw baby has a type

em: so actually it is DANI who ends up w the strongest routine

em: just short bob hair viola sitting next to jamie and dani has a fuckjng. out of body experience. perceives herself a little too hard

obsetress: she's just. staring

obsetress: mouth def hanging open

obsetress: then someone's like "dani? dani?" and she's blinking like five times in a row and sitting up straight

obsetress: but she does def have that moment at brunch

em: jamie doesn’t twig it

em: violas like. violas got a keen eye for anyone ‘copying’ her style. raises one devastating eyebrow

obsetress: dani and vi devastating eyebrow partners n crime

obsetress: later that night, in bed: jamie?

jamie: wot?

dani: do i have a type?

obsetress: jamie immediately wants to jump to no because how could she have anything in common w––

obsetress: oh. oh

em: jamie’s lil wispy premature greys set her apart

em: ‘jamie HATES it when she has things in common w viola’ is my favourite bit sjddkhd

obsetress: jamie "not sure how viola has no greys n she's how much older than me again" taylor

em: dani realises she actually has. no idea how old viola is

em: barely even knows a birthday

em: maybe viola even has like. a decoy birthday

em: queen of being mysterious for the drama of it all

obsetress: "she's just too stubborn to grey is all" "i'm stubborn!" "mm" "wossat supposed to mean" "you're..." "i'm what" "you like to... pretend? you're stubborn" "pretend i'm–– i am!" "jamie, i asked you to repark the car because i didn't want to get out of bed and it's street cleaning day and you immediately jumped up to do it even though you can barely parallel park"

em: WHIPPED

obsetress: jamie's quiet for a long time then, softly: "can parallel park just fine"

obsetress: "mm"

obsetress: whipped as hell

obsetress: this led me to everyone making dani or viola parallel park all the time when they go anywhere

obsetress: hc dani is a Very Good driver. idk why but it tickles me

em: i think um. dani is v independent and wants to be able to do things herself

em: and i think she probably got her license before eddie, but as soon as eddie got his....

obsetress: and dani's better than him n got a better score than him, and yet

em: and yet!

em: they swap out being deso driver if they’re gonna be drinking. or jsut call a taxi lmao

em: i’m so endeared by Extremely Good Driver Dani

em: dani does a reverse park without thinking

obsetress: viola loves her martinis n dani is drunk off of half a glass of sangria

obsetress: same!!!!!!!

obsetress: also just like. imagining

obsetress: dani checking all her mirrors

em: no

em: HANNAH

obsetress: and adjusting everything so fastidious

obsetress: OH GOD

obsetress: i didn't––

em: i jumped

em: phew it’s actually cute

obsetress: yeah! dw i'm not sick

em: well

obsetress: she just goes through her whole lil checklist and is so meticulous and precise

em: jamies like ‘we’re the same height’ and danis like ‘well.’

obsetress: oh god the four of them driving to the seaside for a vacation together (lots of content to mine here, will have to put a pin in most of it because i am getting sleepy) but they end up taking the truck much to vi’s chagrin just because it can hold the most

obsetress: (like viola doesn’t have a range rover but listen it needs to be dani n jamie’s car for this to work)

obsetress: and vi and rebecca are sitting in the back and then rebecca’s frowning and blinking and digging a headband out of the seat between them and viola immediately just. knows

obsetress: she’s like “dani?” “mm?” “you and jamie... have cleaned your car recently, right?” (jamie’s chiming in: “i’m right here, vi, you can address me too,” viola pointedly ignores her) “um... maybe a couple months ago? why?” “well,” and vi pokes her disdainfully with the headband, “can you at least tell me you’ve had it cleaned between whenever this got stuck between the seats and rebecca and me sitting here now?”

obsetress: dani just GRINS sheepishly

obsetress: “i could tell you that, but...” “but?” dani mumbles “it would be a lie”

obsetress: anyway dunno why vi’s that upset about having to sit in the backseat where dani n jamie hooked up, like, last week when it’s not like she and rebecca haven’t been inside the two of them respectively but it’s absolutely the kind of contrarian shit she’d choose to be pressed about and it makes me laugh so

[equalseleventhirds]

hi! feel free to ignore this, but i love your posts about annabelle and the major problems/missed opportunities about her in canon, which i COMPLETELY agree with and i’ll often change things in my au fics, but i was wondering if u had any advice for writing her character respectfully in canon compliant works?

ok so i'm only recently home from work and currently eating dinner, so my thoughts are (vague noises), but

i think there's like, two main elements to treating annabelle with respect when writing her: her canon characterization and her identity as a black woman. and while i can talk abt her canon characterization & my reading of her forever, i'm not rly qualified to give in-depth advice on writing a black woman beyond 'do research' and also like, 'don't do these clearly fucked up things'? (i can like, tell u some stuff abt researching to write poc tho, that's... in there. this thing got rly long.) anyway.

first & easiest is writing her with proper consideration given to her canon characterization (prior to the uhhhh end bit that rly reduced her down to someone much simpler than previously established). so often people make annabelle purely villainous, or basically just a mouthpiece for the web with no wishes of her own, or focus on what she can do for/to jon and/or martin (wrt either helping or hurting them this is kinda shitty tbh. like, making her interact with them? yeah! making her entirely story revolve around them and their wants/needs/feelings/story? come on). she's so much more than that!! she is complex!!! she is her own person!!!!!

pay attention to her story arc! her parallels to jon! the bits of personality that we hear! look at the fact that she was terrified of spiders for most of her life (and perhaps still is, even though she now must serve the web). consider her musings on free will, and her wondering if she herself even has any. think about how awful the experiment that made her an avatar must have been, how her unwilling transformation was brought upon her by unethical authority figures using her greatest fear. look at how her childhood may have influenced her, how she may crave attention or feel like she needs to be self-sufficient or resent people who shirk their responsibilities. also she canonically enjoys reading and wants to make television, she is an Artist and also rly smart, write her like that.

also like... ok listen....... supposedly she's amazing at manipulation; use that! i know s5 did a lot of.... not that, but as a child she bit herself to get her sister in trouble! let her play fucking five dimensional chess!! fuck mind control, fuck 'everyone knows she always lies', give her manipulation some gotdamn complexity. or, if you're choosing not to do that, make a reason? like, is she actively trying to change and be more honest? does she feel like it's not worth putting in the effort for what the web wants, when the web does have mind control at its disposal?

the second part of writing annabelle respectfully has to do with her identity as a black woman. i'm not black. i am not qualified to tell you exactly what you should and shouldn't do when writing a black woman (and also no group is a monolith you're gonna have conflicting opinions etc etc).

i am a poc and i spend a lot of time thinking about race in media, and my go-to advice is always to do research. for annabelle, look for experiences and things written by black people, especially black women, especially living in britain (bcos society & politics & things vary in different places). learn history; there's specific history that you should look at, especially when writing horror or about specific topics. for example, there's really awful history wrt black people being unethically experimented on by the medical industry (which canon does not address even tho that's literally annabelle's backstory). there's also, let's face it, a lot about police and police brutality in this show, both with police as major characters and with police/police investigations used to advance plot, and annabelle is a black woman. i've seen fics use police (daisy and basira, or cops in general) as threats against her, and somehow present that as a good thing bcos 'well she's evil'??? i.... listen i'm not black but i know that's fucked up to write.

additionally, and tbh broadly applicable to writing any poc, learn about offensive racial stereotypes and tropes. you have to know about them in order to avoid them. you have to learn why those stereotypes and tropes are racist and offensive, so you can understand what about them is bad and how to avoid them. and tbh, there are awful racist stereotypes in every direction, so you can't just do the opposite of one stereotype you found, or you may wind up falling into another one. imo one of the best ways to do this is to like....... make a fully fleshed-out character who doesn't become a one-dimensional stereotype?

and this was rly just a very longwinded way of saying 'pay attention to canon and do careful research' but yeah, pay attention to canon and do careful research (and be ready to abandon canon when some of those uhhhh racism issues in tma come up? or when earlier characterization is flattened in order to serve someone else's storyline, etc.)

[queenxxxsupreme]

Was wondering if you could do a gender neutral Eskel/Reader where the reader is nonhuman and worried abt meeting Eskels brothers established relationship? You’re writing... is v good

A/N: Hi babe!! Sorry it took so long to answer to this. I got distracted with a few other works and then I just ended up sitting on it because I didn’t like how it felt when I finished it. But I fixed some things and I hope you like it!! Also a huge shout out to my lovely husband @writingawaymylife thank you so so much for helping me with this baby!!! I love you <3

Warnings: there’s talk of mentions of past harm caused to the reader for being both nonhuman and gender neutral so I’m not too entirely sure how to tag that?? There’s no descriptive details of the harm but it is mentioned. But there’s a lot of fluff!! And supportive Eskel!!

***

Eskel followed the sound of soft humming and the crackle of a fire. He moved quietly, wanting to hear everything. 

You were humming as you moved around the kitchen, busying yourself with making breakfast for yourself and the witcher in your bed. You were too occupied to hear him leave the bedroom and being the nearly silent man he was, he still made no sound when he leaned against the doorway to the kitchen. 

The wolf chose to study you, to take in your every move. You were quite graceful, your movements fluid but languid, as if you weren’t even trying to be so breathtaking. Your hair was tied back out of your face, something Eskel had rarely seen. He noticed fairly quickly that you preferred to have your hair down. The long locks acted as a shield to keep your ears from view. They gave away that you were not human, but an Elf.

With your long hair tied back, Eskel could see the scar that trailed down the right side of your neck. The scar was from a mob that attacked your home. You’d moved since then, but the scars remained. You were wary of humans and always made sure to cover any markings that would identify what you were. 

When you turned around completely, you jumped at the sight of him, your hand coming up to your heart. 

“Eskel. I didn’t see you there.” You smiled a little nervously, noticing how he was watching you.

“I’m sorry.” He was quick to apologize.

“It’s alright.” You wiped your hands off on a rag on the table. You gestured for him to take a seat at the table. You found it strange how even though you two had shared a bed four or five times a year in the two years you knew him, he was still hesitant to do anything without asking you first. He was a gentleman. He didn’t want to overstep any boundaries or do anything that would make you uncomfortable. 

“How long have you been up?”

“A while. Woke up when you left.” He admitted, moving towards the table. 

“I’m sorry I woke you.” You moved to get him a cup of tea. 

“That’s okay. I…. I should be leaving.” He looked to the door.

Your eyes followed his gaze. His two swords, still in their sheaths, were next to the door. He didn’t like the thought of bringing them any further into your home. However, you knew he wasn’t completely comfortable without them near, ready to be used if needed. What you didn’t know was that he kept them as far away from you as possible as to not make you uncomfortable or fearful of him. 

“So soon?” You tried to hide the upset tone in your voice. His eyes flickered back to you. You placed the mug in front of him. “You only arrived just last night.”

He said nothing to you. 

You began to move away from him but his hand clasped your wrist, keeping you near. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“It’s okay.” You assured him with a little smile. “I understand.”

He released you, allowing you to move around the kitchen. His eyes followed you, noticing a shift in your demeanor. You were no longer humming and your shoulders weren’t held as high as usual. They were slumped. You were upset. 

“Where are you going, if I may ask?” 

Eskel turned his head to look out of the only window in the kitchen. A thin layer of white snow had gathered on the ground outside. He had gotten a late start on heading home this year. 

“Kaer Morhen.”

You nodded your head gently.

“Come here, love.” He pulled the chair out next to him and motioned for you to sit. You did as he directed, clasping your hands together in your lap. He leaned forward in his chair, his elbows on his knees, and wrapped your hands in his own. “I don’t want to leave, trust me. But I don’t want to chance a blizzard coming and blocking me from getting to the keep safely.”

“What’s waiting for you there? At Kaer Morhen?” You tilted your head to the side a little. You’d only heard about Kaer Morhen in stories from your family, but Eskel had never once mentioned it to you. 

“My brothers.” He answered honestly. The little smile that came to his scarred lips warmed your heart. “It’s, um, it’s sort of tradition. Every winter, we meet there. We rest and prepare for taking the Path in the spring.”

Your eyes fell to his hands. They were warm and comforting, though they were worn from years and years of hard labor. 

“I want you…. I want you to come with me, Y/N.” Eskel’s words were quiet and hesitant. Your eyes flickered up to meet his.

“You what?”

“Only if you want to.” He was quick to add, unsure if you would even want to step foot in a witcher’s keep. Witchers hunted monsters and to many humans, you were a monster. “You don’t have to though.” He shook his head, pulling his hands away. He was fearful he’d crossed the line with saying what he did. 

“Eskel, I’d love to spend the winter with you.” You reached over to place your hand on his arm. “But I…. I don’t want to invade. Kaer Morhen is your home. You should spend time with your brothers.”

“I’d…. I’d like for you to meet them. If you want to, that is.”

You gazed at him for a few moments, heart racing at the idea of him introducing you to his family. A smile spread across your lips and you nodded your head. 

“I’d love to meet them.”

***

You stuck close to Eskel as he led you out of the stables and towards the castle.

“What if they don’t like me?” You quietly asked him, turning your head to look at the witcher.

“Don’t be ridiculous. They’ll love you.”

You couldn’t help but feel anxious. Your stomach twisted up into knots. But what if they didn’t love you? What if they didn’t even like you? What if they viewed your kind as less than them simply because you were Elvan? What if they attacked you like the humans did? Surely you wouldn’t survive three witchers. 

Eskel could hear your heart beat faster and the way your breath seemed to catch in your throat. Your hand on his arm tightened too, almost to the point of hurting. 

He came to a stop and turned to face you. 

“You’re scared.”

You couldn’t meet his gaze, your eyes finding the tall tower that peered over one of the stone walls in the courtyard. 

Eskel placed two fingers beneath your chin and turned your head so that you had no choice but to look at him. Warm pools of honey gazed at you, tender and affectionate. 

“Tell me why you are scared.” He spoke quietly. “Is it because they are witchers?”

“No, Eskel.” You shook your head, pulling his hand from your chin so you could lace your fingers together. “That’s…. That’s not it at all.”

“Then please tell me. I don’t like seeing you so scared. You have no reason to be.”

You turned your head away from him again, fixating your eyes on the tower. You were quiet for a few moments, trying to think of the right words to use.

“It’s…. Eskel, it’s because of me.” You turned your head to look at him but you could only hold his gaze for a split second before looking down to the medallion on his chest. “Not only am I Elvan, but I don’t…. I don’t conform to what many think of as ‘normal’ even for an Elf. I don’t fit nicely into a ‘male’ or ‘female’ slot. I’ve been persecuted because of my race and who I identify as. I’ve-Eskel, I have been attacked for something I can’t control, for being me.” Your voice broke and you shook your head. “And that punishment is often inflicted on those I’m with. I’m worried about how they will treat you for being with me. You have enough to deal with, with the outside world. I’d never want to make your home unsafe for you or to make you feel unwelcome. I don’t want the ones you love to treat you that way.” 

His brows furrowed together softly and a frown became etched on to his scarred lips. Sadness filled his eyes. 

“Y/N, you don’t deserve anything that’s happened to you because of who you are.” He pulled you in for a hug, his big arms wrapping tightly around you. His hand came up to the back of your head, cradling you to his chest. “You are the kindest person I’ve ever met. You are compassionate and thoughtful and caring. And you’re brilliant and funny. You deserve to be treated based on your personality, not on what you are or identify as.”

You held him tightly, inhaling his scent and letting him comfort you. 

He pulled away first, large hands coming up to cup your cheeks.

“You are perfect just the way you are, Y/N.” Eskel leaned forward to kiss your lips tenderly. “And I promise you that you have nothing to fear from meeting my brothers. They won’t think any different of me and they definitely won’t hurt you. We know what it is like to be judged by our appearances, Y/N. We’re witchers for crying out loud.” He chuckled a little, though it was sad. 

You nodded your head, squeezing his hand and smiling softly at him. 

“Thank you, Eskel.”

“I’m only telling you the truth, my love.” He placed a kiss on your cheek and turned to walk towards the keep. 

***

Your grip on his hand tightened as the large doors to the castle were pushed open by Eskel. 

“Just so you know, we have a few extra guests this year.” He whispered to you. He could hear talking and laughter coming from the main room, and thanks to his enhanced hearing, he could tell that there were many more people there than just his brothers. 

The large doors creaked shut behind you both. 

“What?” Your eyes widened, a little panicked and caught off guard.

“They’re all friends, practically family.” He explained, bringing your hand up to kiss your knuckles. “People we’ve met along the Path. Well, mostly Geralt. He has a habit of bringing in strays.”

As you both turned the corner, the chattering stopped and all eyes turned to you two, though you felt as if they were more focused on you than Eskel. There were a few seconds where you thought for sure everything was going to be terrible. But then an ashen haired man stood from the table and moved to greet Eskel. 

You let him go and stepped aside so the flock of people could say their hellos and hug Eskel. 

“Who are you?” A man with brown hair and yellow eyes asked, moving towards you. On his chest was the same medallion that Eskel had. 

“Y/N.” You smiled politely and held your hand out. He looked at your hand and stuffed his into the pockets of his trousers. You put your hand down, suddenly feeling like maybe trying to shake his hand wasn’t a good idea. 

“Where are you from, Y/N?”

“Ignore him.” An older man dawning the same medallion brought his hand down on the brunet’s shoulder. “Vesemir.” He held his hand out for you. 

“Vesemir.” You repeated, a smile forming on your lips. You shook his hand. “I-I’ve heard so much about you. Eskel, he talks about you a lot.”

“Oh, please.” The brunet rolled his eyes. “Eskel’s a suck up.”

“It’s good to see you too, Lambert.” Eskel moved around the two witchers to stand at your side. He introduced you to everyone and for a moment, you were a little overwhelmed with the attention. But then they started to return to their tables and you were able to breathe. 

“Not so bad, is it?” Eskel asked you quietly as he laced your fingers together.

“No.” You smiled softly. “I like them.”

“Nice of you to finally bring Y/N to Kaer Morhen.” The white haired man said, yellow eyes finding you.

“Y/N, this is Geralt.” Eskel gestured to the man. 

“The White Wolf.” You nodded, smiling. 

“Don’t encourage him.” Lambert rolled his eyes, swatting a hand in your direction, and then he went to the table. 

“Geralt is just fine.” Geralt said. “I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Before you had a chance to ask what he meant by that, he was walking back to the table too. 

You looked at Eskel. 

“You’ve told your family about me?” You asked him quietly, a little smile pulling at your lips. 

“Just Geralt.” Eskel blushed a little. 

Someone called for you both and when you looked at the table, a colorfully dressed brunet man was waving you two over. 

Eskel slipped his arm around your waist and guided you towards the table. 

“Welcome to Kaer Morhen.”

Taglist: @pressedinthepages @mishafaye @whitewolfandthefox @wolfyland07 @belalugosisdead @persephonehemingway @keira-hulmaster @dinonuggs69 @greatestauthorofmygeneration @shadow-hunters-lover @dancingwith-thesunflowers @tedi-fach-las @thecomfortofoldstorries @raspberrydreamclouds @natkowaa @disasteren @weathervanes-my-oneandlonely @onlyhenrys @wackylurker @criminaly-supernatural @magpie343 @permanently-exhausted-witcher @hina-chans-stuff @the-space-between-heartbeats @havenoffandoms @carriebee1 @ger-bearofrivia @naominami @writingawaymylife @reaganjenelle @theawkwardpedestrian @scarlettwitcher @badassspaceprincess @just-a-sad-donut @summersong69 @an--actual--human--disaster @rubyqueen819 @omgkatinka @c-a-v-a-l-r-y @vonxcon @mazakeen @bravelittlesunflower @thereagles @awkward-turtles-world @menalliha @cotton_mo @maan24 @thefirelordm @monkeymo @krenee1drful @nympha-door-a @unadulteratedtreecrusade @Aquarius-pisces-rose @mentallyscreamingsincebirth @fl0ating @she-wolfoftheinquisition @titaniafire 

[hopesangelsprite]

Denny’s | JJK

Pairing: Waiter!Jungkook x Reader

Summary: (Y/N)’s bestie takes her for a birthday breakfast with a surprise!

If looks could kill, my bestie would be six feet under, and I would be behind bars. At the literal ass crack of dawn, this big fore headed thot had called to wish me a happy 18th birthday. The first thing on her “Bad Bitch Birthday Itinerary” was getting up at 6:00 am on the dot to get ready for breakfast at Denny’s two hours later. Usually, I would’ve declined immediately, but I had nothing else planned anyway. Besides, I got a distinct feeling that something amazing was going to happen today.

So, I pulled myself out of my warm bed, showered, and put on the outfit she’d bought me yesterday. I spent a good thirty minutes detangling and slicking back my 4a curls. Once I’d finished, she came and picked me up before hauling ass to Denny’s where my so-called ‘surprise’ awaited me.

Now I’m contemplating stabbing her with a plastic spoon as she rereads the menu for the fourth time. “Bitch, what are you doing? I know you’re stalling. Have you forgotten that we were born in the same hospital room?!”, I inquire while my glare deepens. She glances up briefly to flick her tongue out at me like a child. My eyes widen in disbelief before I growl out, “Candie Lashay Moore if you don’t start talking, I’m gonna stab you with a spoon!”. Candie looks up at me unfazed. “How the fuck you gon’ stab me with a spoon? A plastic one at that. Make it make sense, honey.”, she says before glancing back and quickly turning back around.

“Act natural. Be normal, hoe, don’t mess this up!”, she whispers threateningly causing my confusion to deepen. Suddenly, a tall shadow is cast over our table. “Welcome to Denny’s, ladies! I’m Jeon Jungkook, and I’ll be your server today! What can I get for you?”, a smooth and cheery male voice quips causing me to look up. Standing over our table is quite possibly the most handsome male I’ve ever laid eyes on.

He’s tall and muscular in build with a thin waist and thick thighs. His skin is lightly tanned, clear, and brighter than my future. His dark hair is parted revealing his forehead and a slit eyebrow. His doe eyes hold mischief, and his uneven but soft-looking lips are pulled into a slight smirk.

“Hi! We’ll be having two pancake breakfasts, please! Right, (Y/N)?”, Candie asks causing me to look away and nod. “Ok! Would you like them with sausage or bacon?”, he inquires whilst whipping out a small notebook to take our order. He sits it down on the table before leaning down and jotting down words. The sudden closeness brings a whiff of his cologne right into my face. It’s a mix of soft vanilla and masculine aftershave. “Sausage for both of them, right?”, Candie says bringing the servers attention to me. Upon the meeting of our eyes, he raises an eyebrow questioningly with a tilt of his head. I nod with wide eyes before glaring at Candie when he ducks his head down to write more.

“Alright! How do you like your eggs?”, he asks with a wider smirk at his seemingly accidental innuendo. “I’d like mine sunny side up, please! How ‘bout you, bestie?”, my soon to be dead best friend asks whilst feigning innocence. I shrug feeling a little surge of confidence. “I dunno. How do you like your eggs, Jungkook?”, I inquire with an innocent smile. He chuckles before his tongue flicks out across his lips. “Fertilized, but I’m not sure you’d want that. We’ve only just met, doll.”, he replies with a teasing lilt. The tiny amount of confidence I had vanished into thin air at his remark.

I clear my throat before squeaking out, “Scrambled will do just fine.”. He nods before jotting down the order and standing tall again. “I’ll be right out with your order in five minutes! Don’t miss me too much!”, he says with a wink in my direction before leaving in the direction of the kitchen.

*TIME SKIP TO AFTER BREAKFAST*

I sigh in contentment as I sip the last of my Sprite. The meal that I had just feasted on was probably the best one I’d have in a while. I look across from me to see Candie looking like the happy fat ass she is. “That shit was bussin’! We gotta come over here more.”, she says and begins rummaging through her Gucci bag. I remember the day she came overexcited and shouting about some hot blonde who’d bought it for her. Four weeks later she introduced me to Kim Taehyung, her brand-new boyfriend who happened to be the son of a wealthy fashion designer. I’d thought he’d be a snob, but he turned out to be one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met.

“Does Tae know you’re out here tryna hook me up with a stranger? He seemed set on introducing me to that boxer friend of his.”, I ask as I lean forward. Candie looks up, gives me a devious smirk, and continues to go through her bag until she pulls out the black card her boyfriend had given her. As if on cue, our hot waiter comes back. “How were your meals, ladies? I hope it was to your satisfaction!”, he says in that oh-so-smooth voice of his. Candie nods and slides him her card and the checkbook. He shakes his head lightly disrupting his dark curls. “No need! This one’s on me. I paid already, so you can’t say no.”, he informs with a cheeky smirk. “How can we repay you? You’ve been so nice to us!”, Candie inquires after wiggling her eyebrows at me.

“Hmmm… there’s not anything I want. Except for your pretty friends’ number.”, he says as his smirk grows. My heart thunders in my chest at his words. “Oh, so he tryna catch these feelings!”, I think as I watch Candie write my number on his notepad. “There we are! Thanks for the meal!”, Candie says as she finishes writing. “No problem! I’ll call you later on, doll. Ok?”, Jungkook asks causing me to nod in response. He smirks, winks for the umpteenth time, and walks away in the direction of another table. Instead of greeting them with cheery smiles, he gives a blank and very dry “Hello, Welcome to Denny’s.”.

I watch in awe causing Candie to roll her eyes and pull me out of my seat. “Come on, bitch! We got more stuff to do today.”, she says pulling me away after I’ve collected my things. Once we’re outside, a very familiar Mercedes Benz pulls into the parking space in front of us. The cars’ window rolls down to reveal a very cheery and familiar blonde. “Did it work, baby?”, Taehyung asks with hope in his voice. Candie nods excitedly before running over to kiss her boyfriend.

“Umm… what the hell is going on?”, I ask in utter confusion. Taehyung grins widely just as Candie had earlier. “Remember that boxer I told you I was going to set you up with. His name is Jeon Jungkook a.k.a that hot waiter that you just got hooked up with!”, he says. Suddenly, a strong arm comes to rest across my shoulder and a deep, familiar voice meets my ears.

“Change of plans, doll. My shift just ended, and you and I are gonna have some fun!”.

(A/N):

HI, y’all! Sorry it took me so long to add another story! This one was kinda random tbh. I got it from a pick up line abt fertilized eggs or sum...

Anyway! I hope u enjoyed this. Please like, share, and comment your thoughts!

[jerbric]

can u tell us abt the au? 👀

Yes! Also this was going to be a brief summary but the more I wrote the more invested I got and so I fully fleshed out the AU for both you and me. It’s sooooo long so if you end up not reading it, that’s cool. Anyway,

You know those AUs where when Della disappears, her eggs are split between the cousins and when the kids find out about each other they try to Parent Trap everyone? So it’s a little bit of a spin off of those AUs.

Basically, the eggs are split, yes with the basic Louie/Gladstone, Huey/Fethry, and Dewey/Donald concept. Anyway, they grow up with their respective parents, and accept their very simple lives. Except one day, out of curiosity, Huey asks Fethry about his parents, and Fethry goes on to talk about Della and everything else. He talks about Donald and Scrooge and Gladstone, and how one day Della just “disappeared,” but he never once mentions Dewey and Louie. So, interested to learn exactly what had happened, Huey begins to write letters to Scrooge McDuck, hoping that one day he’ll respond and want to meet up and reconnect. Unfortunately, that never happens, so he ends up giving up and going back to being comfortable in his little home with Fethry.

Back at the manor, Webby is still invested in McDuck history and heritage. She still makes her boards and all that, and this time, she gets her hands on Della Duck’s old journal way earlier. She looks up to Della and starts to wonder what happened to her and why Scrooge ever stopped adventuring. She tries to grab Scrooge’s attention from afar but it’s fruitless, and her little adventure is at a dead end. Until! Until one day, she’s getting the mail at Beakley’s request, and she finds letter from someone cities away from Duckburg. They’re addressed to Scrooge, and while Webby knows when to keep her hands to herself, she knows that Scrooge throws out any mail that’s not work related. So she hides the letter and later on takes it to her room. She reads it and is immediately interested in everything Huey Duck has to say and offer.

And she does this with every letter that comes after, each one a request to meet Scrooge. But the more that come, the less formal they are, and the more desperate they sound. The very first one was a formal request to meet Scrooge to talk about some personal business, but later on they begin to give more detail. Huey is Della Duck’s son, he lives with his Uncle Fethry and his grandmother on their farm. He also mentions Gladstone and Donald, and how he hopes the five of them can meet up and reconnect.

Anyway, point is, Webby decides that this is her moment to shine. She’s going to step out of the shadows and bring together Scrooge McDuck’s family and then he will finally notice her! Also, this is an adventure, and it will be long and there will be ups and downs, but just like Della Duck, Webby’s not going to let anything get in her way! I know, she could just ask Beakley for help but Beakley would get upset over the hidden mail and simply say that Webby’s adventure is just her digging into something she shouldn’t. So Webby packs her things and sneaks out of the manor, setting out on her very first adventure. She was trained to defend herself and detect any forms of harm, so she’s ready! (Don’t worry, she left Beakley a note saying she’ll be safe and back in no time.)

She wanders all around Duckburg in search of Donald Duck, who lives there according to Huey. This is how she meets Lena and becomes an unexpected accomplice to shoplifting. Basically, she’s walking around when she’s knocked back by someone, but when she gets up, she only sees the back of the girl as she runs around the corner. As she starts picking up her things, she realizes that the girl forgot something, so she hurries and runs after her in order to return it. She ends up at the abandoned amphitheater, where she confronts Lena, and Lena, who is still paranoid about a passing cop, takes Webby inside and explains what happens. Webby is shocked but let’s it slide because she thinks Lena’s cool and wow! she runs fast!

So Lena asks Webby what she’s doing wandering around Duckburg and Webby shows her the letters and explains her grand plan. Lena takes interest immediately because she still works for Magica and helping Webby out would mean the possible chance of meeting Scrooge McDuck so “you realize travelling alone is dangerous, right? You’re going to need some help.” And obviously Webby let’s her tag along!

They stay at the amphitheater for the night and the next day they set out to find Donald Duck. They figure out where he lives and go to knock on the door. Instead they’re greeted by a young duck who’s bored out of his mind because his babysitter won’t let him do anything. Anyway they meet Dewey, is what happens, and once Webby explains everything to him, he does the same thing Webby did. He packs his things and leaves Donald a note (this happens later that night, not with the babysitter bc that would’ve been yikes lol). He joins them, and then they set off to the city of Macaw, where rumor has it that Gladstone Gander is making some big wins.

The same thing happens, they meet Louie, who agrees to tag along and they set off to find Huey, the reason for this whole adventure. Dewey and Louie bond the entire time going on about “we’re related to the Scrooge McDuck?!” and “where have you been all my life?!” Webby and Lena also bond some more, and they become best friends, and eventually, Lena begins to feel like this life is so prefect and so good. She’s having fun, meeting new people, going to new places, and it’s such a wonderful thing, she would’ve forgotten about Magica if Magica would only stop bugging her about her mission for five minutes.

It’s when they’re on their way to Grandma Duck’s farm, that things start falling apart and they start having doubts. Magica starts to get frustrated and begins causing trouble, which ends up with Lena confessing everything. Despite this, Webby believes in her and she convinces Dewey and Louie to let her stay. They’re hesitant, but they allow it and they help Lena keep Magica at bay. I mean, she can’t do too much while she’s a shadow. And this part isn’t too thought out atm but it will be later.

And so, they end up making it to the farm and finally, they have a warm place to sleep without having to worry. Grandma Duck and everyone else is very welcoming and they provide more information than they had initially agreed to give. The kids spend a few days at the farm and Huey, Dewey, and Louie bond. Webby and Lena talk about what’s going to happen when they get back to Duckburg and Lena begins to doubt how much she’s actually wanted around by the others. So the night before the kids and Fethry are supposed to head out, she leaves.

They boys try to brush it off as “she was going to go her own way when we got back to Duckburg anyway, so does it really matter?” “Of course it does! Lena is my- our friend! We have to find her!” In the end, she’s outvoted by the boys and Fethry, who does try to get on her side but it was a losing fight, and they return to Duckburg, immediately going to Donald. They invite Gladstone over, and once they’re all together, they all go visit Scrooge and it’s one big reunion. And tears and all of that. Of course it doesn’t end there! Webby goes off on her own again to find Lena.

And this is where I leave off because this is too long and I got carried away (also that last part hasn’t been thought out). I am so sorry. If you read all of that, bless you, I love you. Also I think this might be my most thought out AU so far?