#not tagging the other one cause i dont want to be bullied by 12 year olds

[1spooky-dad]

Not to continually compare apples and oranges, but I so often think about how much bbh has flourished on qsmp compared to d/smp,,, a lot because his fellow creators no longer just use him as the butt of a joke that so blatantly crosses his boundaries. He's no longer "that guy I'm gonna curse around just cause I know he gets mad about it" once people find out he'd rather keep his streams PG, they actually respect that and do their best to respect that. Which, tbh, makes the couple of times where someone gets him to say a curse word in another language all the better. Hes no longer "that guy who screams LANGUAGE at people." Hes an incredibly developed character that everyone on the island adores, and only occasionally teases by tricking him into saying Culero. And guess what? It turns out him not cursing doesn't have any real effect on his character's story! It doesn't dumb it down, it's not less powerful than others on the server.

It's amazing how well someone can flourish when given the proper respect and decency they deserve. When you're not constantly on edge from everyone pushing your boundaries, you can finally do more for yourself and the people around you!!!!

[mirclealignr]

Current WIP Requests!

Just showing y’all what’s to come!

And keeping myself organised so I don’t lose anything! Requests are still open! (And just so you know I accept more than just Remus and Sirius hahah)

Who I write for • Prompt List #1 • Prompt List #2 •

Remus x Reader requested by @emmaloo21 ~ REQUESTS ARE OPEN?!?!?! Oh my gosh, maybe a Remus Lupin x Reader, Marauders Era, where reader gets into a fight with a Slytherin or something gets severely injured due to a unfair attack? So he comes and visits her in the hospital wing?

Sirius x Reader requested by anon ~ Heyy could you please write a sirius x reader where Sirius lashes out and calls the reader unimportant and then the reader doesnt talk to him for a few weeks and sirius realises what he said and regrets it. Im sorry if this is too specific. I love your your work btw❤❤

Harry Potter

Harry x reader requested by @mischiefsemimanaged Hey, I’d love to be added to your tag list! Also have a request: a Harryxreader where y/n’s embarrassed about her surgery scars. I’m having another surgery Friday and I wish I had a Harry lol. No worries if you don’t have time, love your work! Thanks so much!!

Charlie x reader requested by @barry-blockman ~ can i request a Charlie Weasley x reader where they were best friends w mutual pining at hogwarts but did nothing about it but they reuinte at the quidditch world cup bc arthur invites the reader since they remain close w the weasleys?? and they get together after when the reader stays at the burrow or whatever you want really!!! thank you so much!!

Seveurs (golden era) x Order!reader requested by @purpledragonturtles ~ Could you write a adult! Severus x Order member!Reader one shot in which they argue with each other, both unaware that the other is flirting with them. I don't know why but I picture Snape as a teasing kind of flirter. Of course, please some fluff (and angst) at the end

Draco x reader (part 2) requested by @patton-fielder ~ Hey sweetie! Could I get a part 2 to that heart breaking Draco x Hufflepuff!Reader request I asked for? Using 2, 7, and 8 from the fluff section? (All of them said by Draco preferably as an apology) i love ya so much ♥ stay safe! - prompt list 1

James x Slytherin!reader requested by anon ~ Hey luv, just saw that your requests are open again YES! Maybe on with james where the reader is pureblood and Slytherin and they met at a gala or something, he invites her for a dance andddd i dont really know i trust your amazing talent eheh Sorry to bother thanks in advance xxx

Marauders x short!reader requested by @remibarnes22 ~ Hiya honey, can I request a short reader and marauders fic where they’re looking after her? Like against bullies and tall things. Good ol’ fluff ❤️❤️ thanks xxx

remus x reader requested by @screaming123 ~ Im a self indulgent slut so maybe a remus fic taking care of reader after a bad day? If requests are still open ofc Hope youre having a fantastic day/night/both! 💗

regulus x reader requested by anon ~ Fluff 6, misc 8 with regulus pls 👀 prompt list 1

draco x reader requested by @the--queen-of-hell ~ May I request 2 and 15 from the fluff prompts for draco x reader? Thanks in advance (if you need me to be more specific, I can send another ask!) 😊💖💕 prompt list 2

remus x reader requested by anon ~ remus x reader soulmate 4 (both emotional and physical with more emotional pain for reader)

weasley twin x reader requested by @dreamer821 ~ Soulmate 4 & 5 (or either really!) with one of the twins??? 🙈🧡 prompt list 2

charlie x reader requested by @barry-blockman ~ hey sweetie!! congrats on reaching your goal, its very well deserved!! can i please, if its not a problem, request fluff no. 7 w (you guessed it) charlie weasley?? thank you so much 🥰

fred x reader requested by anon ~ Can I request a Fred Weasley x reader where the reader is Angelina's twin sister and Fred and George flirt with them all the time? Thank you!

harry potter x reader requested by anon ~ Hello dear! Can I request a harry potter x reader where the reader is just like Lily Evans and everyone who knew her has a soft spot for her because she reminds them of Lily? Also the reader has been friends with Harry since first year and they are in love with each other and everyone low-key loves seeing them together because they remind them of James and Lily?this idea sounded cute in my mind. Have a good day/night 💕

james x reader requested by anon ~ Okay for the james one from prompt list 2 fluff 5 6 12 13 BEAUTIFUL CMON eheheh love you xx

george x reader requested by anon ~ can i request hufflepuff!reader secretly leaving a cookie/cupcake + a small note for the weasley twins and they love the gesture but fred/george especially adores it bc it reminds him of home then they try to find out who it is and date them 😉 thanks

sirius x reader requested by anon ~ Could you do a Sirius x Gryffindor girl. Mutual pining for years but both are too stubborn to admit it till their 6th year when James and Remus tease him into finally admitting it to her. He does something rlly big and public but soft to admit his feelings.

draco x hufflepuff!reader requested by @bforbroadway ~ Hey! Could I request a soulmate AU (the one where whatever you draw on yourself is in your soulmate) Draco x hufflepuff!reader, and Draco just constantly has little flowers and rainbows and cats and hearts, and just overall cuteness, all over his arms? Just really fluffy 💕 Only do it if you think it will be fun, and keep doing great!

neville x reader requested by anon ~ 2 things 1) ur epic 2) can i have a neville x reader where neville is the herbology professor and reader is the care of magical creatures professer? do what you would like, i just think that would be cool again, ur awseome Lena

Headcannon for remus x reader requested by anon ~ Hey girl 👋 can I ask for a headcanon ? Reader being in love with Remus Lupin but him falling in love with her twin (not identical ofcourse) and dating the twin . Thank you ! Sorry if you don’t like the ask, I’m a sucker for angst and hurt! fics

headcanon for marauders x reader requested by anon ~ heyy, are you taking hc requests? cause i think i'd be really nice a head canon of the marauders meeting reader's (who is a muggleborn) parents

headcanon for marauders x reader requested by anon ~ hey! can i get a headcanon of the marauders having a big fight w the reader (they are wrong, but they only realize later) and then apologizing, angst but fluff at the end?:))) thanks

Sherlock

moriarty x reader x mycroft requested by anon ~ Hiii!!! Can I please request a moriarty x reader x mycroft where reader is moriarty’s partner and she’s mad at moriarty for spending all of his time on his game with sherlock so she decides to play with mycroft to get moriarty’s attention?! Sorry if I couldn’t explain it properly english isn’t my first language! Thanksss!

Mycroft x reader requested by anon ~ What about Mycroft x reader misc. 13? prompt list 1

Marvel

Steve x Avenger!reader requested by ~ @kitkatkl ~ Oooh, are your requests back open? If so, I'd like to request a Steve x avenger!reader where they like each other and the team orchestrates a game like truth or dare to make the reader admit it in some way (because I doubt steve would be down for t/d id he cant even get drunk. If you do do it, you can decide what's the truth/dare that makes them admit their feelings. 💙💙❤💙💙❤

loki x reader requested by anon ~ “Don’t go” as well as “We aren’t meant to be” and “It’s for your own good” with Loki? Maybe ending in fluff somehow? ~ prompt list 1

loki x reader requested by @mojofun ~ So can I ask a soulmate prompt for Loki? (The prompt about the mark)

Undecided Character

Good afternoon darling, May I request fluff 2, 5 and soulmates 1? I hope that's not too much 😅 For the character: your pick 😊 Thank you so much 💕💓 💗 (thehumanistsdiary)

What if, hear me out, “Why can’t I stop crying?” from the first prompt list, and “I let you hurt me because I thought you would hurt less” from the second? For either Draco or Severus? (anon)

requested by @thehumanistsdiary ~ Good afternoon darling, May I request fluff 2, 5 and soulmates 1? I hope that's not too much 😅 For the character: your pick 😊 Thank you so much 💕💓 💗 ~ prompt list 2

[lilyharvord]

Some new bookish asks for you all

Hi I didn’t get tagged to do this, but I’m bored and I’ve got some hot takes. I’m going to start the chain. Imma tag some peeps too. Do the whole thing if you want or not at all. @scxrletguardsdawn @evangelineartemiasamos @cptdanvxrs

1. Which book would you consider the best book you’ve ever read and why? 

Honeslty a hard tie between The Red Queen Series and Elsewhere. Okay, so while RQ does have it’s flaws, it was a book series I started my sophomore year of high school when I was starting to reach the bottom of the barrel mentally and was realizing that maybe I wasn’t as happy as I thought I was. That book got me through high school, along with Glass Sword. When I say I weeped reading Mare Barrow’s internal dialogue in GS I was actually sitting under my covers junior/senior year WEEPING with a flashlight because on one hand I had never felt closer to a character, and on the other had never felt so understood in a book before. As for Elsewhere... that book (while being a young readers book) profoundly affected how I view life, death, and everything in between. I highly recommend it. You have to have a little patience with it as an older reader, because it is probably meant for middle school readers, but some of the things said in that book are definitely meant for older readers to ponder.

2. Are you an Austen person or a Bronte person?

Haut take. Both. (P&P holds a very special place in my heart)

3. Are there any genres you will not read?

Contemporary romance and Contemporary/non-fiction books (i’ve tried. I really have to read these and I just cant do it.) 

4. Are you a fast or slow reader?

Depends on your definition of slow/fast. I’d say I’m fast, I can read 500-600 page books in a day, but that’s going morning until almost 2 the next morning. 

5. What was your relationship with books like as a child?

They were my escape. I was heavily bullied in elementary/middle school so I would read 2-3 in a week to just escape. I think this is why I can’t read contemporary stuff, I need the fantasy. 

6. Are you the type of person who will read a book to the end whether you like it or not, or will you put it down straight away if you’re not feeling into it?

Honestly, normally I’ll push through. I think the only one I physically put down because I couldn’t take it was ACOWAR. My friend made me finish it two years or so ago so that she could complain without having to explain everything before she did. 

7. Have you ever despised something you have read?

*side eyes the entirety of Throne of Glass and A Court of Wings and Ruin* 

8. Do you prefer to read first person or third person?

Nope. But I do prefer to write in 1st person (it’s cheating, I know.)

9. Are you for or against multiple narrators in the same book?

Give me all the POVs please. 

10. Bookmarks, dog ears or leaving the novel open and face down to keep your spot?

All the above. I’ll use my dog if I have to mark my place if I have nothing nearby XD

11. Do you prefer to read at a certain time of day?

Nope. If I’ve got a book that I’m reading, I’ll read at anytime.

12. Do you need to finish a book before you can move on to the next one, or will you have multiple books going at once?

I feel called out, because right now I have like three books that I’m trying to read at the same time, but I normally like to finish a book before starting another

13. How do you chose which book to read next?

The wand chooses the wizard. Lol normally I find a book that has a good premise that I like and normally I’ll read that. Although I do take suggestions from people.

14. What is your favourite children’s book?

This is very hard but The Tale of Despereaux, or The Wrinkle In Time series. Does the Book Thief count? Cause if so that books on this list too. If we’re talking really really young: The Original Velveteen Rabbit or Goodnight Moon (my mom used to read both to me when I was little and i have vivid memories of that). 

15. Do you agree that Jane Eyre should be considered a feminist novel?

Young high school me vehemently says yes. But older wiser me squints and says: hmmmmnnnnnnnn maybe. 

16. What’s your favourite of Shakespeare’s plays?

Hamlet, Othello, Much Ado About Nothing, and Macbeth

17. Do you know any poetry by heart?

Sadly no. 

18. Did you enjoy the Hunger Games?

I’m unashamed to say I still do. 

19. E-reader or traditional book?

I like traditional books, but the older I get the more I like E-readers because it makes it so much easier to transport all my babies. 

20. Do you read in the bathroom?

not really. 

21. Ideal reading position?

Curled up somewhere with a drink. 

22. Hardcover or paperback?

Which ever has the prettier cover XD

23. Nicest edition or cheapest edition?

Which ever has the prettier cover XD

24. Do you prefer happy endings or sad endings?

OOOOOOOo haut take, I prefer the ending that the book calls for. Whether it be happy or sad. 

25. Do you enjoy concepts in books to be concrete or abstract?

Depends on what I’m reading. Sometimes, I like a book that calls me to think about the world around me and question things. Other times I like to have a book I can just dive into and tear through without having to think too much. But I think all books call for us to think about abstract concepts of the universe on some level. 

26. A book you studied in school and ended up loving?

Jane Eyre, and Brave New World, Tuck Everlasting 

27. Classics or modern literature?

Is it not enough to love both equally? XD

28. Thoughts on adults reading YA?

I am an adult reading YA. I dont know if I will ever stop either. 

29. Have you ever read a book in another language?

I’ve read some easy books in spanish back when I was in high school. 

30. Have you ever written your own book?

Tee hee hee, she’s been sent to an editor and Im await his first thoughts. ((((: 

[teatitty]

Logan and His Weird Brood of Endless Children (A Comprehensive List)

I promised to do it so here it is at last! Logan has had many children over the years (24 at least!) and all in different continuities. For the sake of this list, I’m only including the children that are canonically his own and not the people he only acted as a father/mentor for (so no Jubilee, Rogue, Kitty or Armor). 

Honorary mention goes to Laura’s clones (especially Gabby) because they are technically Logan’s children but were cloned from Laura specifically instead (you’d think they’d be Laura’s kids but they canonically viewed her as their sister. The only one still alive is Gabby Kinney).

So! I’m doing this list in alphabetical order and I am going to include which Continuity they appear in. This is just a brief run-down of their origins and not the full history otherwise we’d be here for years.

1: Amiko Kobayashi (Earth 616)

Amiko’s mother (unnamed) was killed during a giant dragons rampage through Tokyo. Logan promised her dying mother that he would take care of Amiko. He also held her mother through her dying moments. Because he was a full-time X-Man Logan was unable to look after her personally, so he fostered her with his wife Mariko Yashida instead. Amiko lived with Mariko for a few years, seeing Logan on rare occasions, and enjoyed the plush life-style that Clan Yashida gave her. 

She also met Kitty Pryde and went for ice-cream with her, Logan and Mariko. When Mariko was assassinated, no legal plan existed for Amiko’s care (why Marvel couldn’t have her move to the X-Mansion idk) and she ended up in the foster system. Logan thought that was fine, even sending money to help care for her, but discovered that her foster parents had been stealing the money. 

Taking her away from the situation, he gave guardianship over to Yukio. Honestly Amiko got kidnapped a lot to be used against him but at least she’s still alive! She has limited martial arts and, due to her lineage, it is possible that she could develop mystical abilities though nothing has been confirmed for her.

2: Avery Connor (Earth 616)

After Logan’s skeleton was bonded to adamantium, one Dr David Connor took some of Logan’s genetic material and implanted it into the child his wife, Veronica Connor, was pregnant with (okay. Creepy.) The result of this was Avery Connor, specifically “designed” so that her powers would manifest when she hit maturity (yikes) with the hope that she would be stronger then Wolverine. By age 14 she was able to recover from a gunshot wound to the chest in about a minute. She only appeared in the 3 issue novel “Elektra and Wolverine: The Redeemer” which you can find on Comicpunch.net if you want to know her full story.

3: Brian and Mari Logan (Earth 1298)

These two are put together because they’re twins! They appear in the very last arc of Mutant X (#28 onwards). During this time, Logan is believed to be dead but is, in fact, alive and currently only has fragmented memories (basic Logan stuff really.) Instinct drives him to the house he shared with his wife, Mariko Yashida (the twins’ mom). While there, he runs into Mari who asks him if he’s her dad, because “mommy said that daddy went to heaven but Brian says he’s going to come back to us someday.”

Creed kidnaps the family, Logan tracks them down and has a heartfelt proper reunion with them, even hugging Brian. Pretty much the only thing Logan cares about during this last arc is getting his family to safety which is, you know, fair enough tbh.

4: Cameron Pryde (Earth 25158)

Cameron is the son of Kitty Pryde and Piotr Rasputin. He was born shortly before the mutant control act, which led to all surviving mutants being locked up in camps (oof.) When Kitty was taken away by sentinels, Logan took Cameron to safety and raised him as his own son, training Cameron to be a hunter in the wilds of the Sentinel Territories. Cameron was 17 when he met Kitty and his younger sister, Christina, whom ended up killing him.

5: Daken Akihiro (Earth 616)

Daken is probably the most famous of all Logan’s children, right next to Laura. Putting a trigger warning here for bullying and one suicide.

Daken is the son of Logan and Itsu. In 1946, during the last moments of her pregnancy, Itsu was murdered by Winter Soldier (yea) in an attempt to lure out Logan and return him to Madripoor. Romulus cut Daken from her womb, which Daken survived due to his healing factor. Daken was left on the doorstep of Akihira and Natsumi, who took his arrival as an answer to their prayers and raised him as their own. He was given the name “Akihiro” but the servants and other families secretly called him “Daken” (bastard dog), a slur about his mixed heritage.

This harsh treatment caused him to develop a cold persona to everyone but Akihira. One night, Natsumi confessed to Akihira that she was pregnant and didn’t actually love Akihiro. Daken overheard this, and within a year of Junichiro’s birth (sometime in 1957 so Daken was 10-11), he confronted Natsumi and said he’d killed her son (this was true). Akihira disowned him, Daken said his real name wasn’t “Akihiro” and then Natsumi tried to run him through with a bayonet on the end of a rifle. This triggered Daken’s mutant powers, and he ended up accidentally slashing her down. Akihira committed suicide.

Romulus appeared and told Daken that he was what Daken would someday become. Romulus sent him to a training camp in Canada, the same one Logan had been trained in 40 years prior. Other stuff happens here but basically Romulus ends up telling Daken that Logan is his father and lies to his face, saying that Logan was the one who killed Itsu with Daken still inside her, which is why Daken hates Logan’s guts. In the following years, Romulus nurtured this hatred.

You can’t see it in the image above but Daken does have a third claw on the underside of each wrist.

6: Erista (Earth 616)

Literally Erista only appears once. His mom is Gahck of the Savage Lands Fire Tribe and the only time we see him is when Logan is leaving said Savage Lands.

7: Hudson Logan (Earth 982)

Hudson is Rina’s half-brother and was a member of the Revengers, who attacked the Avengers on more then one occasion. However, he switched sides to fight against Galactus and then asked to be an official Avenger. Though suspicious of his motives, they let him join as they needed help fighting Sylene, Loki’s daughter.

8: Hulk Jr/Bruce Banner Jr (Earth 807128)

Baby Banner was the newest addition to the Hulk Gang, and Bruce’s favourite among them. When Logan killed the entire gang (you’ll find out why in a little while), he felt it was poetic justice that Hulk Jr be the first member of his new team of heroes to help retake the country.

500 years into the future, Hulk Jr helped defeat Galactus, using him as a power source for a time machine. He and his team ended up on Earth 616 and the F4 convinced them all to go live on Nu-World instead. The last we see of him is on a rebuilt Galactus engine heading to a new world.

9: Jade and Scotty Logan (Earth 807128)

Jade and Scotty were born 50 years into the future, to Logan and Maureen. Logan owed the Hulk Gang rent money and went off to collect it. He returned 2 weeks early only to find that his family had been killed because the Hulk’s “got bored.”

10: James “Jimmy” Hudson Jr (Earth 1610)

James’ mom is Magda, who you will probably know as Magneto’s wife and the mother of Wanda and Pietro. Logan entrusted Jimmy to his war friend, James Hudson. His last name was changed from “Howlett” to “Hudson” to make the adoption official, and his mutant origins would be kept a secret until his highschool days. Jimmy grew up to be like Logan, with a taste for red-haired women (okay Marvel, sure), a reckless lifestyle and a feral personality. 

Unfortunately, Logan died before Jimmy could ever meet him. When Jimmy was drag-racing at 17 his car crashed and this is when he discovered he had a healing factor. His gf was disgusted by it and left him (ouch) and the next day he got a visit from Kitty Pryde. She told him he was Wolverine’s son, and gave him some of Logan’s old things, including his canadian dog tag (and a lock of Jean’s hair because god forbid Marvel let that go). 

A holographic message from Logan told Jimmy “you’re my son, dont ask about your mother, don’t focus on the past, be thankful the Hudsons raised you and learn to live with the choices you make” (paraphrasing of course). His last message to Jimmy was that he never regretted having a son. 

With Kitty’s encouragment, Jimmy found he had inherited Logan’s claws and formed a metallic coating over them. He would then seek out Jean, who helped him recruit other mutants.

He ended up bonded to a Symbiote eventually and now he goes by the alias Poison. Also he got rid of that dope beard and went with mutton-chops instead which, like, worst decision by far they hella look ugly on him.

11: Kendall Logan (Earth 9811)

Kendall’s mom is Ororo! She also has an unnamed baby brother! Kendall can manipulate the weather like Ororo and possesses a healing factor like Logan. She also has her father’s temper but her mother’s good attitude. She’s highly trained as a fighter and is as stealthy as an assassin. She was born in a universe where the Secret Wars never left Battleworld.

Due to various circumstances, Kendall and a bunch of other mutant kids ended up on an alternate earth where Sentinels ruled America. The kids then decided to stay here and wipe out the Sentinels.

12: Kirika Yashida (Earth 295)

In this reality, Logan and Mariko had a romance before the ascension of apocalypse. This romance led to the birth of Kirika. Logan was unaware of her birth and, after Japan’s destruction, joined the X-Men. Mariko joined the Human High Council and Kirika ended up the property of Sinister though how this happened is never stated. Magneto found her in a containment marked “X-23″ and was surprised when she unsheated her claws. 

Kirika ended up being trained by Magneto and was tasked with bringing her father back to America with her. Important note, but on this earth Logan is still going by “Weapon X”. A bunch of other shit happens, and Kirika ends up being killed by Weapon X with 616 Logan mourning her death as he holds her charred remains, right before he went feral and attacked his 295 counterpart.

13: Kouen (Earth 13119)

A teenage clone of Logan, Kouen was created by an unknown organization, who ordered him to kill Logan, who they believed was the missing link they needed to create the “perfect race.” Instead of doing that, however, Kouen chose to help Logan rather than kill him.

14: Laura Kinney (Earth 616 and Evolution/Earth 11052)

The second most well-known of Logan’s children! Her comic origins are a bit more convoluted then her origins in Evolution so I’ll talk about both. Personally, I prefer her origins in Evolution but, ya know. Prefences and all. 

I’m going to talk about her comic/616 origins first because it’s. A lot to get through and condense.

When Facility (yes that’s what the organization is called) failed to find a subject capable of surviving the bonding process of adamantium to bones (because they wanted to recreate the Weapon X program that made Logan), mutant geneticist Sarah Kinney was brought in to create a clone.

After 22 failed attempts of cloning, because they couldn’t find a Y Chromosome in the only bit of damaged genetic coding they had of Logan’s, Sarah proposed they make a female clone instead. Initially rejected, Sarah went and did it anyway, using her own genetic material to complete Logan’s. Dr Sutter was impressed but Dr Zander Rice claimed insubordination and forced Sarah to be the surrogate.

Laura spends 7 years training in the facility while Sarah tries to ensure that Laura retain some semblance of humanity. Rice had her subjected to radiation poisoning to acclerate her mutant gene growth and bonded her claws to adamantium. 

Other shit happens, she ends up being harshly trained (and punished) by Kimura, then 3 years later she got her first mission, was punished for not returning with Rice, ended up ordered to kill Sutter and his family and then she managed to kill Rice. Unfortunately Rice exposed her to “trigger scent” which sent her into a rage that killed Sarah. In her dying words, Sarah names her “Laura.”

Other stuff happens but I’m skipping it so fast-forward and Laura tracks Logan down to the x-mansion where she beats him in a fight. She tells him who she is, he says he already knows cuz he got a letter from Sarah telling him the whole story (??? okay sure) but before they can have a proper talk Steve Rogers arrests her. 

She gets interrogated by Steve and Matt Murdoch. Matt claims she’s innocent given her backstory, but Steve wants her to atone for her murders. Ultimately, Steve frees her so she doesn’t get exploited by SHIELD as a weapon.

Laura joins the X-Men and immediately gets protective over Logan, even following him on missions.

Now for Evolution/11052 canon which is way fucking easier to get through! 

Logan learns through SHIELD that Dr Deborah Risman, working for HYDRA, managed to create a female clone of him after 22 failed attempts. Her only codename was X-23. (She doesn’t get the name Laura in the cartoon but that might be cuz it was cancelled before the last season.)

Denied a normal childhood, X23 was lonely (seriously you actually see her hugging teddy bears in Kitty’s room and getting jealous over how happy the X-Men teens are). She’d never had a companion, spending most of her time honing her skills under observation.

She breaks into the X-Mansion, defeating the other X-Men, and eventually confronts Logan. Logan refuses to fight back against her, spending his time trying to talk to her instead. X23 lashes out, screaming “everything I am is because of you!”

Logan eventually catches her wrists, telling her he’s the one person who understands what she went through, and admits he had no idea about what they did to her. When X23 breaks down in his arms, Logan hugs her back, saying he’s the closest thing she has to family.

When SHIELD shows up to take her in, Logan tells her to run for it. Laura hesitates, not wanting to leave him (you can tell by her face) but Logan repeats the order. She leaves and Logan tells Fury to leave her alone because she’s been through enough.

(Also fun note, the reason Laura is white in the comics and not brown is bc they wanted her to look “more like Logan” apparently).

15: Mongrels (Earth 616)

Led by Gunhawk (William Downing, one with the bandana), the Mongrels team consists of Fire Knives (redhead girl), Shadowstalker (purple girl), Cannon Foot (the big boy) and Saw Fist (green mask), all children of Logan’s from various different mothers. Put together by The Red Right Hand, these mercs all have a hatred for Logan though it’s never explained why, and wanted to cause him as much pain as possible. During their final fight with him, Logan manages to kill them all but is devastated to learn they were, in fact, his children. 

He ends up burying them with their respective mothers.

16: Raze Darkholme (Earth 13729)

Raze’s mom is Mystique, whom he killed and replaced some time in the future. His claws are really short and he uses shapeshifting to make them longer (lol). His shape-shifting is supposedly stronger then Mystique’s. The first time we see him, he’s impersonating Kitty Pryde in order to get close to Logan and strike him down. 

Raze has an older half-brother, whose father is Xavier (yes really). Raze wants to kill the entire human population, and bring all persecuted mutants from the multiverse into one place to create a mutant paradise. This plan is ultimately stopped by an alt earth’s Phoenix.

17: Reine du Rien (Earth 616)

Reine (pronounced “ren”) is a french sorceress and I think she’s also half-romani. She has Logan’s healing factor and claws, which glow a faint blue, and her clans magic. Her mother, Sylvie, had a one-night stand with Logan in the 60′s specifically to create Reine so that their clan would have an immortal child capable of killing a demon called “Truth” so they wouldn’t have to rely on Logan anymore.

As per usual, Logan didn’t know about her. In 1989 Logan tracked down her hometown but was told to fuck off by her aunt because he wasn’t needed anymore. Unfortunately, he caught Reine’s scent and, not one to let things go, kept trying to talk to her whenever he happened to see her. In 2008, Reine finally confirmed she was his daughter and said her clan didn’t think she needed a name, but began calling her Reine which meant “nothing.” (Oof.)

After explaining that it wasn’t her he was trying to hunt, but Truth, Logan and Reine crossed their claws and promised to kill Truth together, thus setting them both free.

18: Rina Logan (Earth 982)

So! Rina’s mother is Elektra! She’s a skilled martial artist and gymnast. Her claws are made of psychic energy! She used to get bullied at school for being the child of an immigrant and unemployed biker, but then opinion changed when everyone saw Logan pick her up from school and learned that her mom was a wealthy martial arts master (lol get fucked). Rina is canonically a daddy’s girl, and a lot of heroes give her a wide berth because she’s considered as dangerous as Logan is. 

[tenpin-boleyn]

Rebellious Parr at School!

These were thought up by @wolfies-chew-toy and I- mostly MB- because Cathy going through teenage rebellion is I C O N I C

There are some teenage Anne in here too but mostly our girl Cathy P 🖤

Also I’m sorry about the length- I’m on mobile so I can’t add a read more :)

•Anne got her heelys confiscated, so she decided to sandpaper the bottom of her shoes so she can slide around like a penguin. No wheels? No problem.

•Catherine being the feminist icon that all teachers fear:

“NO I AM NOT READING ROMEO AND JULIET AS ITS A DEROGATORY REPRESENTATION OF WOMEN AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH”

Then Catherine promptly gets removed from the class.

“Catherine don’t you have English right now?”

“Don’t you have your funeral!!.... oh my god Mrs lynn I’m so sorry” because Cathy is a badass but she still has feelings

•Confusing the teachers on a daily basis:

"Hitler is kinda like Kim Jong Un dont you think?"

"Miss Parr and Miss Seymour what are you talking about?"

"Miss, isn't Kim Jong Un rather like Hitler?"

"Please stop discussing your Kpop idols in my class."

•The school has different colors led name tags for the different years, eg. Seventh year, yellow, eighth year green etc.

You can bet your ass Parr has a name tag in each colour and wears them all at once. It ranges from her actual name to Catradora. She has a name tag that just says CatParr420 and wears it everywhere.

And 90% of the time she wears a blank one and carries around a marker

“Umm excuse me what’s your name?”

Which prompts Cathy to draw on a fake name.

“Anita Willtolive”!

•She draws penises on all the whiteboards of every class she enters in permanent marker.

•One time the school used a drone to film the morning assembly and the noise annoyed Cathy so much she picked her book from morning reading up and h u r l e d it at the drone.

All you can hear before the recording stops is “YEET”

Did she get detention? Yes

Was it worth it? HELL YES

•You can bet your bottom dollar that Anne is in that detention too.

Anne's reasons for detention range from stuff like chatting to general shenaniganery but Cathy is just oPEN DEFIANCE

•She only is nice to her classmates

•And selected teachers

•She's a dick to everyone else

•But if she sees a kid on their own she’ll go out of her way to be lovely to them and to that one annoying teacher she hates, she’s a hell raiser

•She once moved the empty table next to her desk away to the other end of the class to stop teachers from sitting next to her- whilst the teacher was trying to sit at said desk.

•Catherine openly questioning EVERYTHING

“But if everyone is only nice to get into heaven surely that defeats the purpose and they’re being fake”

•She would fall asleep in front of the teacher

She'd just yell goodnight really loudly and knock out on her desk

•Honestly it’s a wonder she hasn’t been kicked out, but Jane thinks it’s because her grades bring up the school average

•She does her homework the moment she gets it and is finished by the end of the day

•Anne just puts in her file and lets it rot

•Parr gets in trouble for handing in Anne’s homework that Parr did but Anne has no idea. Cathy just wanted to make sure she didn’t fail

•Anne teaches Parr how to get discounts in the cafeteria, because Parr needs free cookies.

•Parr is Anne's defender when it comes to detentions

•She gives the teacher her Stare™️ and they instantly clam up

•Their detention desks are side by side and they have like those partners in crime necklaces but instead of two halves on their necklaces they’re carved into the tables

They they put them together they just line up

“Parr scares all the teachers except the German teacher who is literally Satan.

•Anne looks scary but she is basically harmless

•Parr looks like she wouldn't hurt a fly but given the chance she would 100% bite her teacher's hand off

•Anne has like five piercings and the messiest uniform in existence while Parr has only one piercing in each ear and the neatest uniform in existence but the moment Parr opens her mouth you better run

•She once bit a first year because they got in her way

•Cross any of Parr's friends or Parr herself and you might as well drop out because you'll be on a hit list for your whole education career

•She’s got a little black book of people that’s annoyed her because eventually she forgets but she’s too petty to let her memory get the better of her

•Anne has been on it at least once but Parr always strikes her name out

•She once kicked Parr in the stomach trying to show off her sandpapered shoes

•The shoe flew off and hit Parr in the stomach

She would have screamed at Anne but Anne’s puppy dog eyes are irresistible

Especially at 12 years old because she’s literally a baby

Like not even in a sexual way, you just can’t say no to those eyes

•Seymour has also been on the list once

But Parr got her revenge

What did Seymour do? She keeps taking Parrs highlighters

So Parr makes her pay money for every time she uses her highlighters

And one day a teacher sees and thinks it’s a drug deal

Every late payment is + 1 quid

Jane knows better than to accumulate late payments because Parr is ruthless when it comes to money

•When a classmate lost Parrs calculator and didn't pay her back, Parr literally carved owe money pay money onto her desk and got that person's friends to remind them daily till they paid her back

•Every time that person saw Parr in the hallways they'd turn around and head the other direction

•Tardies don't matter when the most trigger-happy person in school is out for your blood

•The day that she’s sat next to Parr in the seating plan is the day she moves schools

•Even then Parr still tracks her down

•She waits for them at the school gate with the most murderous smile on her face

•You just see Anne behind her chewing gum, snapping her fingers and doing jazz hands

•And the person is rapidly dialing their parents while screaming MOM COME PICK ME UP I'M SCARED

•Suddenly Aragon pulls up with the others and shouts at the pair “get in losers we’re going shopping”

"How the hell did you even find them Cathy?"

"I just followed the smell of crippling debt and it led me here."

“No seriously how?”

“Anne never turns her snapmaps off”

•Also Parr made the PE teacher cry more than once. More than twice. Okay it was 27 times.

•Parr has a pen knife and people try to confiscate it but she just brings out a printed sheet of paper that says that “a knife may be carried as a self defence weapon if it is under 9 inches and is retractable”

•She made the history teacher quit.

•One time she threatened to give someone salmonella because they were giving Anne and Kat a hard time

•Both Anne and Kat are in special ed and someone thought it'd be funny to bully them cuz of it

•She was skipping class in the toilets and two girls walk in and start bad mouthing Anne and Kitty so she kicks open her door and looks at them whilst sucking a lolly pop “hello bitches say goodbye to ur eyebrows”

•Parr is super defensive of the two of them

•She teases them sure but if anyone else tries, they have to sleep with one eye open

•Anne and Kat don't understand why people keep coming up and apologizing to them

•When they ask Parr, she just shrugs and smiles

•Parr used to be super motivated back in year seven. When year eleven rolled around, she became a little more rebellious, first the name tags, then the mouthing off. Then it escalated further and further. No one else but Parr and Anne knows what happened to cause this change

•Parr is soft for Anne and Kat and Anne and Kat alone

•She roughs up Aragon, Seymour and Cleves bc she knows they can take it. She's soft when she needs to be and not many people see that side of her

•Her favourite teachers rarely see that side either. Only during teacher's day when she sneaks into the staffroom to give them homemade cookies

•Parr wears leather jackets to class and no one dares question her.

•Anne learnt Chinese and how to play the guitar during detention so that she could sing for Parr the next time they had a session together

•Anne singing Unchained Melody exactly like in ghost the musical, and does the little elvis riff too

•Parr and Anne facetime and do Kahoots together because they need to study aka theyre competitive as shit

•Cathy gets excited in class and stands on her chair and yells "I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK. U COMING TO KILL ME???" And promptly gets removed from the class.

•Parr gets a "Little Miss Adventurous" award for having the most travelled converstation.

BONUS:

•The queens doing that egg project where they have to bring an egg home and keep it for a week

•Anne calls hers Eggward Eggburt.

•Aragon drops it the moment she gets it

•Anne brings the egg home and makes it into an omelette

•Jane does well till the sixth day where she goes fuck it and uses it to bake cookies.

•Cleves breaks it during lunch after Anne called her a name and she threw it at her

•Kat gives hers to Jane and it's baked into chocolate chip cookies

•Parr shuts hers in the fridge for a week and takes it out at the end of the week

•Anne gets asked where her egg is and she pats her stomach which results in Kitty yelling “YOURE PREGNANT?!”

•Jane gets asked where her egg is and she holds up this cookie jar and offers the teacher one

•Parr is praised for being the only one in class for having an intact egg and then she grabs the egg and breaks it on the teacher's head cuz she 'needed to shut up'

[scattered-imagination]

Alpha Aizawa x ??? Yamada

A/B/O Universe ERASERMIC

When Quirks and Secondary Genders collide things are bound to get...hectic and confusing is the best way to put it.

Most Everyone Presents their Secondary Gender between the ages of 6-10, though its not unusual for the gender to settle by age 12. 

Aizawa Presented as an Alpha at age 12 and Yamada... never seemed to present as anything??

Aizawa doesn’t care about his status, just wanting to be left alone while he focused on his studies and hero work. He did give an eye-roll when everyone speculated about it saying “Beta in public, Alpha in Private”

which was true in some sense. he was a laid back individual who didn’t let a lot get to him. but during hero work or with close friends, it was very obvious that he was an alpha. able to take control, never hesitating, speaking his mind... protective when it came to a certain loud mouthed blonde. 

Aizawa and Yamada met their last year of Junior High, when Aizawa was unexpectedly transferred due to reasons unknown. Aizawa was grumpy and didn’t talk to a single person, and despite being an alpha, was teased and mocked by the other classmates.

Yamada was the one to loudly exclaim that the brunette was his friend and anyone that messed with him got a taste of the future voice hero as well. The blond made a habit everyday to sit next to aizawa, eat lunch with him, talk his ear off, help him with english, and walk him home.

at first Aizawa was pissed and grumpy about the new development... especially since he couldn’t sense Yamadas status. he just smelled like...fresh air. no musk, no sweet smelling perfume, and no subtle citrus. But after a few weeks, Aizawa found that he... wanted Yamadas friendship. two months in they started calling each other by their first names, three months in yamada convinced Aizawa to apply to UA.

Both got into UA, although Aizawa into General Ed and Yamada into 1A. but that didn’t stop them from training everynight and Yamada basically teaching Aizawa everything from his hero course to catch him up. When Aizawa beat Yamada in the sports festival, earning him a place in Hero class 1A, he realized he was falling in love with the blonde. 

BUT one thing always bothered him....Yamada never presented...ever! he tried to sniff for blockers but he could never pinpoint it. was Hizashi hurt? or was he hiding? While Alphas were prized and Betas were accepted, Omegas had varied reactions. modern day society helped to include them more... but there were very few, if any, omega heroes... and many believed that Omegas were weak and were better parents than workers. 

Throughout UA, even though Yamada was popular and very well liked, he was bullied sometimes because of his “blank” status. many calling him a freak or “blank slate”. he was loud and confident like a alpha, laid back like a beta, and caring and friendly like an Omega. Aizawa could not tell you how many times he threw someone across the training field extra hard because they were mocking his BEST friend. 

Yamada never seemed to mind, always laughing it off and blasting away his opponents with his super sonic scream. After Graduation, Yamada convinced Aizawa to move in with him to their own little apartment (maybe convince wasnt the right word...aizawa was looking for an excuse to stay with his crush). 

Living together though, revealed many things about Yamada... he blew out his parents eardrums at birth, was given up at birth, survived in foster care until he grew out of the system, was often forced to wear a muzzle until he reached a good foster home when he started UA (We have Nezu to thank for that!), and he still wouldn’t reveal anything about his secondary gender status. Aizawa started to piece some things together after that information.

and the protectiveness only increased. Yamada had to convince his friend that he didn’t need to glare at everyone that looked their way. it was a hard thing to do, but a compromise was reached. Aizawa would stop glaring at everyone who sneaked a peak at them. and yamada would cook dinners for them when their schedules aligned. in Aizawas eyes...yamada cooking for him was very intimate. 

five months into living together...aizawa confessed his attraction to the other... awkwardly albeit. Yamada froze before squealing in joy, saying he loved Aizawa as well... but he didn’t want to ruin their friendship. aizawa scoffed, calling Yamada stupid, but smiling as Yamada tackled his new boyfriend to the ground in order to get cuddles.

Years pass by, their relationship grows stronger and stronger by the day. Aizawa forgets to ask Yamada about his status, being too in love with the other. the soft cuddles, yamada massaging his sore body and humming him calming lullabies, and everything else the blonde did for him.

Aizawa did finally find out Yamadas Gender... in the worst way possible.

All Heroes were called to city center to assist in a massive villain attack. Mic and Eraserhead rushed there, working in complete sync. one would scream the villains out of the way, while the other erased the quirks and punched them out. 30 minutes in, Aizawa noticed Yamada was missing. in a panic he started to search for the other, only to see the other being thrown into a building. Aizawa rushed to his boyfriend, protecting him with a scary level of protective nature, his alpha hormones filling the air. soon the battle dies down, allowing aizawa to pick up the other, adrenaline dying off

its then that suddenly a sweet scent is filling his senses. it smells like a soft citrus perfume mixed with mint. he looks around before realizing that its coming from his unconscious partner. he sense others being attracted to where they are and runs off with Yamada in his arms, his alpha threatening to break the surface. 

Yamada wakes up in their shared bed, staring up into the eyes of a worried and exasperated Aizawa.

“omega huh?”

Yamada freezes at the others words before nodding silently, looking exhausted. he sits up, allowing the other to cuddle him close. he lets aizawa comfort himself with his scent before he explains.

when he first presented in a foster home... he was beaten so badly for presenting as a useless and weak omega. he was rushed to the hospital and a search for a new foster home began. he begged a nurse to help him get rid of his status... the nurse took pity on him and helped him implant a subtle blocker into his shoulder. it would have to be replaced every 3 years and that she would help him. 

“i owe the nurse my life...i never got another beating for being an omega again” 

even as Aizawas hackles raise in anger yamada continues on. Yamada realized after making friends with Aizawa that he didn’t need to hide... but at that point it had been habit plus...he wanted to make sure Aizawa loved him even if he was a “blank slate”.

Aizawa scoffs and scolds yamadas for thinking that a second gender means anything! look at him, a laid back alpha that could care less about what people say about him. yamada agrees, but is still shaky.

but as always aizawa proves to him that his love never changed. the other still playfully argues with him, falls asleep in his lap, traps yamada in his octopus like hugs, and still loves him to the moon and back. aizawa is still as protective of yamada as ever, which makes yamada laugh so hard in a bar one night that Aizawa has to drag him home because he is making a scene.

what happens next~?

ALL UP TO YOU LISTENERS!

But I hear wedding Bells in the future!!

((I have a few more headcannons and details for this. send me an ask and ill answer))

Message me if you want to write this story or use it! 99.9% i will say yes, just please tag me so i can read your beauty!

Hashtag for this plot: #ErasermicABO??

Hashtag for this series of plots: #ErasermicPlotBunnies

@dadmic

@shouta-light

  @guess-my-country

  @why-is-there-a-light 

@wendiflow

  @deafmic

@shout-and-mute

comment ^w^ for me to tag you in future Erasermic Plot Bunnies ((If i tagged you and you dont want to be alerted to this let me know! I get nervous about tagging people cause I believe Im bothering them))

[michaelmilkers]

I saw in one of your tags that you mentioned how 21 pilots made emo pretentious and im actually curious about why you say that (not hate i just never knew about them that much)

my friend you have asked me about a topic i am very knowledgeable and very angry about so prepare yourself for what you have wrought

it isnt just twenty one pilots but theyre just the biggest and most popular example

like. take my chemical romance in the early-mid 2000s aka the peak of emo. it was very melodramatic and theatrical, the way emo should be. there was a presence of “we are not like other people” in a lot of the songs, but it was never just that. it was more of a “we have been cast out and we kinda suck but thats okay.” one of the best examples of this is, ironically, i’m not okay.

take, for example, the opening to the mtv music video:

[Ray] You like D&D, Audrey Hepburn, Fangoria, Harry Houdini and croquet. You can't swim, you can't dance and you don't know karate. Face it, you're never gonna make it. [Gerard] I don't wanna make it, I just wanna...

this immediately establishes the song as being about social outcasts and people who dont fit the mold. the fucking tag line of the song is “i’m not okay” ffs, that really tells you all you need to know about the song. but the important thing is it doesnt take itself too seriously either. the music video takes place in a private school, and shows scenes of the band members eating lunch alone, being bullied by jocks and preps, etc., but it ALSO shows scenes of frank putting swim goggles on in chemistry class and ray drawing on his test with a crayon and then licking it, and at the end they all ambush and beat the shit out of a guy in a mascot costume. all of this is cut up by text saying things like “if you ever felt alone” “if you ever felt wronged” “if you ever felt anxious”

do you see the juxtaposition here? the music video could very very easily be a fake deep bullying psa, but its not, because while theyre getting bullied and playing their music in a garage they are also, unequivocally, total fucking losers for obvious comedic effect. it is a very exaggerated and lighthearted version of real phenomena, which makes it more relatable to a wider audience.

the same can be said about the song itself. it has some pretty heavy and angsty lyrics (”i’m not o-fucking-kay”) but the instrumentals are punchy and energetic and catchy and gerard’s vocal delivery is very theatrical but also very deliberate and he still puts real emotion in the words. it sounds like its taking the piss out of not being okay, which is exactly what i as a clinically depressed 13 year old needed, and i bet a lot of other people can say the same. i’m a loser and thats okay. i fucking suck in school and thats okay. i feel shitty and thats okay. i’m not okay and that, in itself, is okay.

with twenty one pilots, on the other hand, there is no theatrics, theres no taking the piss, theres no over-the-top melodrama that made emo what it was. 

take, for comparison, the opening lines of heathens:

All my friends are heathens, take it slow Wait for them to ask you who you know Please don't make any sudden moves You don't know the half of the abuse

and this presents, immediately, one of my biggest criticisms of twenty one pilots: their rampant appropriation of mental illness.

because my first thought when hearing this is as an abuse survivor and someone with ptsd they can kiss every single square inch of my ass.

Welcome to the room of people Who have rooms of people that they loved one day Docked away Just because we check the guns at the door Doesn't mean our brains will change from hand grenades You're loving on the psychopath sitting next to you You're loving on the murderer sitting next to you You'll think, "How'd I get here, sitting next to you?"

they try to do the same kind of nuanced poetic lyrics that my chemical romance did and in my opinion is just doesnt fucking work because they take themselves SO. FUCKING. SERIOUSLY. it sounds JOYLESS. 

and the song closes out with this:

Why'd you come? You knew you should have stayed (It's blasphemy) I tried to warn you just to stay away (Away) And now they're outside ready to bust (To bust) It looks like you might be one of us

this is what i mean by pretentious. there is a clear separation of the person/people from whose point of view the song is told and the people the song is meant to be listened to by from the greater population, but theres no high energy or comedic self deprecation to counteract it. 

now take some lyrics from heavydirtysoul, a song i actually really like the sound of, im not just shitting on this band bc its not to my taste yall:

There's an infestation in my mind's imagination I hope that they choke on smoke 'cause I'm smoking them out the basement This is not rap, this is not hip-hop Just another attempt to make the voices stop

Nah, I didn't understand a thing you said If I didn't know better I'd guess you're all already dead Mindless zombies walking around with a limp and a hunch Saying stuff like, "You only live once." You've got one time to figure it out One time to twist and one time to shout One time to think and I say we start now Sing it with me if you know what I'm talking about

right back at it again with that appropriation of mental illness symptoms! and some dumbass critique of our generation that doesnt fit in with the rest of the song at all, closing out the verse with “we are not like you” shit. the vocal delivery at least has more energy than heathens, but the lyrics just feel like a mishmash of different points theyre trying to make that have nothing to do with each other.

the best line of the song is undoubtedly “death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit” but its poetic just... for the sake of being poetic? its one of those lyrics that sounds like someone came up with and was like “bro we gotta put that in a song” but then couldnt actually figure out how to fit it into a song in a way that would flow. another example of this is “i cant drown my demons they know how to swim” in bring me the horizon’s can you feel my heart. not shitting on bring me the horizon, i really like sempiternal, but thats another line thats just poetic for the sake of being poetic. and to be put on t-shirts. i know this because when i was 12 i had a shirt that said “i cant drown my demons they know how to swim” on it.

i could do more analysis on other mcr songs, namely welcome to the black parade and famous last words, but i would be here for literal hours and idk if people actually care that much.

to sum my points up:

they take themselves too seriously. they appropriate and romanticize mental illness (forgot to mention that top’s website, at one time, described their music as “schizoid pop” lol). they pull a lot of “We Are Not Like Other People..,.,.,,...” shit. 

that last point is not inherently a bad thing, for example the new slipknot album is literally called “we are not your kind” but the song that contains that line as a lyric is all out life, and corey taylor is screaming that entire song and the instrumentals are reminiscent of speed metal with how fucking energetic they are. its edgy and its GREAT. twenty one pilots just sounds like they think theyre the shit.

also, and i want you to read the following sentence in a bass boosted voice to best understand how i feel when i say this:

the twenty one pilots cover of cancer is an embarrassment that completely misses the point of the original song and changed it into a weird amalgamation of lo-fi synth pop.

emo music is dead. thank u and goodnight.

[ask-henry-yugi-tudor]

Just story ideas I have and wrote about a little I guess

.....

Just vote which ones you like xD

#1: Unnamed - unfinished not even 200 words of some sort au where yami is an animal

#2: King Yamir, King of illusions - unfinished Is a story where Yugi got kidnapped from his home and is now traveling back after 50 years with a dragon, a knight and two centaurs and their friend. However once he arrives, he realizes things have changed and he isnt sure if the life with the humans might have been better off, even if they got rid of his wings.

#3 Mermaids  - unfinished An au where Yugi gets himself into trouble by swimming too close to the surface and he ends up getting hit by the blade of a boat propeller. Kaiba ends up taking care of him but pegasus wants to put him on display. Atem meanwhile is furiously searching in every corner of the sea to find Yugi back and will stop at nothing to find him.

#4 Untamed  - unfinished Prince Yugi is in search of a mythical beast in the woods that bears the fruit of life on its antlers which can save his grandfather, and the current king’s life. if he fails however, his evil uncle Aknaheden will assend the throne and plunge the kingdom into destruction. Meanwhile he kidnaps a child, befriends the most sarcastic cook ever and insults a young prodigee mage along the way.

... tbh i think shiirojasmine would love what i have in store for that one but im too afraid to tag anyone in this long post.

#5 Aelves  - unfinished This story was created before King Yamir. It centered around Atem and his family which were orphans that lived on the streets before getting taken in by townspeople. Atem was the apprentice of a blacksmith bullied by a fierce adventerous knight who told him he would never make good swords, Timaël (Timaeus’ counterpart) was a sheperdboy who was afraid of sheep and Heba worked in a bakery. They find out their parents have been killed by Aelves and plan on finding these Aelves only to befriend Yami, Yugi and Timaeus because they saved one that almost drowned in the river while the other two were unnable to swim. 

This was the original idea, but there were too many characters and though i havent really written a good amount on it, this hasbeen revised into number 6

#6 Aelves  - unfinished Atem finds himself in a bind when he befriends a young Aelf when another thinks he is going to be Yugi’s candidate for the wild hunt. The wild hunt involves humans having to run as the Aelves chase them riding deer. And the human has the marry the Aelf that captures them. Also Yugi hits Atem with a frying pan because why not.

#7 The Time we Share -  finished Probably the only fanfic i have ever finished. Resolves about Yami, a social awkward young man that is in love with his introverted neighbor and has no idea how to handle it. A short oneshot. Nobody understands it. I dont even know myself.

#8 Words better left unsaid  - unfinished Another Neighbor Au Where Yami is a serial killer that partakes in weird human sacrifice rituals. Yugi is so dense however he doesnt notice it. Meanwile Yami keeps stalking him around, always knowing an excuse to be in the same place as Yugi. Eventually Yugi just takes him along because reasons he doesnt find suspicious at all. But having an infatuated serial killing stalker is a good thing when the world finds out you are in possession of an ancient artifact made of solid gold and everyone wants to kill you.

#9 Mirror Immage - unfinished (this is an old one) What if there was a life on the other side of the mirror that was the entire opposite of your own yet still looked exactly the same? And what if you fell through? What if your Mirror Immage was right beside you, instead of being a mere reflection? #10 We create this world - unfinished Based on an old fanfiction of mine called Need A Second to Breathe- basically it is a rewrite of this- In where Yami, Atem and the other egyptiantied cast are the incarnated gods of Egypt. Yami is not allowed to enter the Human world but does so anyway, finding Yugi. He uses his godlike powers to make Yugi happy and angers Atem further. However Atem once made the same mistake of falling in love with a human called Heba, and Yugi looking like Heba is not helping in the slightest. Yugi keeps having viseons of Heba, whos ghost has returned from the underworld, however at the terrible price of being possessed by an evil spirit. And yugi has to choose between giving up his body to save Heba, or not doing so, in turn losing Yami.

#11 A Shadow’s cast - unfinished I think I was either very tired or sick writing this one because it doesnt make any sense. Basically Yugi wakes to find a visitor in his home that is trying to hide from an organisation that is trying to hurt hus guest. Needs a desperate rewrite. 

#12 The Cecaelia - unfinished but up for reading Here What do you do when you find a little creature out on the beach being attacked by seagulls? Chuck it back into the ocean, or take care of it? #13 Mob Boss Yugi - unfinished This kind of was based on Shiirojasmine’s 3 gods au and it sort of formed into my own concoction I suppose. An au where Yugi often blacks out and becomes Yami, one of the greatest mob bosses the world has ever seen. Mai and Joey being undercover agents. Yugi gets scared and writes letters to his other self, finding out that he is a mere puppet that is to serve Atem. Atem is being captured by an evil organisation and has year to pay all his depts using Yugi, or he will be killed. A heist takes place at school and Yugi can no longer determine wether he is a high school student or a wanted drugdealer.

 #14 Beast Assylum  - unfinished  A creepy Au where Yugi and Atem have been subjected to Lycanthropy and are being locked away so they cant hurt any innocent people ever again. Instead they are being used to get rid of people society doesnt want and or need.  Atem is a crybaby. Yugi has been planning his escape for a long time now, why has he started to care for the other, this was not supposed to happen! #15 Baby And a Pharo  - unfinished A spoof fanfiction where Yugi solves a puzzle as a baby and somehow it is a portal to the past. The Egyptians think he is son or Ra and Atem takes Yugi under his wing. However Time in Yugis verse moves faster and He has to make the disission wether he wants to stay with Atem forever or not. #16 Two Necromancers - unfinished Two necromancers. A prince and a thief. They both get resurrected to life to stop big threat to the world.What the two necromancers didn't account for was that they were sworn enemies. #17 Darkness beast  - unfinished This one is too long to explain so enjoy the short version Kaiba and Dartz open up a portal to a knight-and-dragon Era and get the kings of the land they opened the portal on at their sides, Dartz tries to provoke a war, Yugi tries to stop him, Atem goes missing and then Yugi has to take care of a shadow like creature, until Dartz decides to put it onto the chessboard and use it as a threath to Kaiba and his alliences. 

#18 Demons - unfinished Demons. When the world discovered that demons could be summoned to do one’s bidding, they didn’t quite understand what that meant. People were naïve and greedy. And it wouldn’t be long before one would summon something that nobody could control. Basically Ludus’s origin story. Needs a good solid rewrite.

#19 Mewtwo Yami  - unfinished A stupid crossover where Yami ends up  being raised by Mewtwo, thinks he is a pokemon, meets Yugi and wants to compete in pokemon battles (bullies Yugi into being his trainer so he can compete) to prove he is the strongest “pokemon” to make Mewtwo proud of him.

#20 The Assylum  - unfinished Another one of these fics. basically what you would expect. Yami has the ability to see monsters that disguise themselves as humans and exterminates them, Yugi thinks he is just a mentally sick, cold blooded killer. Truth is Yami is also a monster.

#21 Chasing You  - unfinished Ai Atem gets the task to find Yugi, so Atem can hold him in his arms, but Ai Atem has his own sights set on Kaiba. Feeling conflicted because he is more than a mere replica. He is better than that real Atem! Yet he wants to know what Atem and Yugi’s relationship was like. Was it love? Is that what he is feeling?

#22 The God Bird Au - unfinished One Day Harpies descended from the skies to terrorize the little village that Yugi lives in. When one sets his sights on Yugi, the youngster ignores him. He has bigger problems than listening to the flirting of an overgrown bird. And who is this snowy owl-creature that sounds so familiar? 

#23 He’s not a retard  - unfinished What is it with me and Yami being a killer? oh dear... Yami is an intelectually impaired, wheelchair-ridden person however he is what goes bump in the night. Yugi is his caretaker and never bargained for any of his shit. Not the part where he saves a plane from getting hijacked, and not the part where they get stuck in a tomb in egypt!

#24 Yami’s Angel  - unfinished I think this was like my first Yugioh Au  Yami finds a small, unconcious Angel and befriends the little guy and takes care of him. Yugi loves strawberries and chaos ensues because Yugi ALWAYS gets lost in public places. Later in the story he finds out Ryou has the same problem. Except he has a little devil. #25 The Wheelchair Au - unfinished  A combination of the two ideas above. Atem, after a suicidal attempt which caused him to lose both his legs and a finger, refuses to undergo any opperation which could make him use prostetic legs in order to walk again. With nobody to care for him, he stays at the hospital. However one night he hearsa small voice, which is Yugi, his guardian angel, and if they fuse, Atem regains his legs. However if they remain fused for longer than 3 hours, Yugi will disappear.

#26 Dancing in Eternal winter Yugi gets stuck on a mountain with a jock who doesnt understand any language Yugi knows. Spirit Animals are there to help. Yugi then realises that Yami is unable to reintigrate into society, because he has been living on his own all this time, surviving, and his spirit Animal would be much too dangerous. No matter how nice Gulo is.

#27 The Levitated Mansion  - unfinished Atem Lives in a wealthy family and loves to look at the stars with his telescope. However one day he sees a levitated mansion, the owner of said mansion has an eye on him. #28 Shapeshifters  - unfinished Yugi is working at an orphanage when he meets an old Ijiraat, a shapeshifter that you forget after seeing him. However the more time Yugi spends with him, the more he keeps remembering. #29 Sphinxson Yugi  - unfinished Atem lives in a village that has deemed him crazy because he swears he sees monsters. Kaiba is a monster hunter and decides to exploit the scared youth. Yugi is a Sphinx that cant wait for his human grandfather to return, but how long has it been? Just a few days, right?

#30 Pokemon  - unfinished Another Pokemon Au. Yugi is an Eevee that has been taken in by the Kaiba brothers, but after a mishap in the trophee room and Evolving into a Vaporeon, What will happen to the young pokemon? #31 We Are Not Alone - unfinished An Alien Refugee gets mistaken by the Egyptian people as a god, and teach him their ways, however another of his kind is on their way to kill him. Can Atem and Yugi fight this evil Alien or not? And Where is Atem’s family?  #32 Safe and Sound - unfinished A comfort/hurt oneshot fic where Yugi scolds Yami for hurting people, even if it is for protecting him. Basically the idea was that this event is what made Yami stop his evil penalty games.

#33 On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red rose between his teeth  - unfinished Yugi is a werewolf that mistakingly kills a sheep of Yami and Ryou’s farm. However Yami and Ryou do not seem to realise who their guest is until Yami finds Yugi’s bloodied clothes on the floor one day as he returns home. thinking th beast that fled out of the window devoured him whole. Yugi tries to keep running, not wanting Yami to know he is a beast, but Yami keeps hunting, dead on bringing the beast down. #34 Bone Datem  - unfinished A schooltrip to Egypt turns into chaos when Yugi gets trapped into a tomb and tries to make his way out. However when he finds a living Mummy that follows him around and wants him to steal the millennium puzzle from the Museum, he finds himself in an even bigger hastle than he bargained for.

#35 Unnamed genderbend Yugi Blindshipping Au  - unfinished Yami and Atem are two gang members that hate each other. However yami is a playboy and gets cursed by a witch. Everytime the sun is down he transforms into a girl. But this girl doesnt remember anything and thinks her name is Yugi. One time, yami does not get home in time and this leads to yugi meeting atem who instantly falls in love with her. Theres little things though like yami being able to see everything yugi does and sometimes controlling her body or mind. At one point when atem tries to kiss him, she punches him bc yami in no way is gonna kiss that bastard xD atem mistakes it as hes gone too far and yugi is just superconfused why she did that xD I already know what i want the end to be but its kind of a sad part on yami's part? Also there is a part where atem finds out yugi is actually yami or something

#36 The Superhero Au  - unfinished Yugi is in a happy relationship with his boyfriend atem but what he doesnt know is that Atem is also the Supervillain Yami. And Atem himself has no control over it whatsoever. The rules of the world is that one who can summon strong monsters are either superheroes or villains. However Yami can only summon a small little Kuroboh, and giving Yugi more trouble than ever. Atem on the other hand claims he has never been able to summon a monster before.

#37 Demon boyfriend Atem  This was supposedly a parody idea where Atem lost his temper way too quick and started yelling in a demonic voice (ind of like Aggretsuko lol) And Yugi wasnt really phased by it at all because at the end of the day he knows atem loves him xD Even if it scares his friends a little.

#38 I wanna steal your heart (and eat your brains)  - unfinished Title was based on a song. Yugi is a zombie and has been dating Atem and chaos ensuess. Kaiba also is a zombie and has been experimenting on himself and discovered some odd perks of being a zombie. (honestlyno plot just shenanigans and lovers quarrels)

[captain-ezri-dax]

ALL OF THEM ANSWER EVERY SINGLE ONE IF I HAVE TO DO IT SO DO Y O U

B)

uhh i guess formatting wants 44 to be on top. i can’t believe #44 is a top, all the other numbers are bottoms & 7 8 9

44: A random fact about anything - anyone who’s played dragon age inquisition but says that Sera isn’t autistic or at least ND can eat my ass

0: Height - i actually have no real idea lmao?? At least 5”7’ i think

1: Age - aaaaam 20

2: Shoe size - again i can’t tell u cause i haven’t needed to buy new shoes in literally 4 years

3: Do you smoke? - nope

4: Do you drink? - not yet

5: Do you take drugs? - nah

6: Age you get mistaken for - lmao i dont get mistaken for ages im not tbh

7: Have tattoos? - nope

8: Want any tattoos? - hell yeah?? I’d get a nier automata tattoo tbh, maybe a dragon age & rwby one too

9: Got any piercings? - nah

10: Want any piercings? - naah

11: Best friend? - probably Tori??

12: Relationship status - single as shit

13: Biggest turn ons - nicee looking tummies, lap sitting, hickies, neck kissing, tiddies

14: Biggest turn offs - uHH i actually don’t rly know?? Pee, dd/lg & bullshit like that, keep all that away fromm me

15: Favorite movie - idk if i rly have one tbh?? I’ve watched spiderman homecoming a lot

16: I’ll love you if… - tag me in things, send me posts i might like or pictures of things u see that remind u of me or think i’d like?? Be even vaguely nice to me lmao

17: Someone you miss - well, people who aren’t in my life any more aren’t rly people i miss tbh?? I miss pmuch all my friends when they aren’t around tho

18: Most traumatic experience - probably the utterly relentless bullying throughout my entire school career & the teachers agreeing w/ my bullies (but not outright saying ofc) lmao

19: A fact about your personality - uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh?? I get very excited when friends make me things or show me their own things but have a kind of hard time showing it? Does that count. What counts. Help

20: What I hate most about myself - myy probably abandonment issues, clinginess meaning that i try distancing myself from a lot of people in case i get too clingy, my writing style, the fact that it’s impossible for me to learn a new skill cause not getting it right immediately upsets me & i can’t learn, literally my entire body, how my mind works, my writing style & i can’t keep going or i’ll never stop

21: What I love most about myself - uhhh sometimes i make okay worlds & characters i guess??

22: What I want to be when I get older - mmm don’t rly care as long as i have time to spend time w/ friend & play vidya

23: My relationship with my sibling(s) - not bad but like. Not good either?? We just don’t talk lmao

24: My relationship with my parent(s) - bad

25: My idea of a perfect date - videogames, movies, naps, cuddles

26: My biggest pet peeves - lmao idk this one either tbh

27: A description of the girl/boy I like - n/a rn

28: A description of the person I dislike the most - the president of the united states

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend - i. Haven’t lied to friends?? Do people do that??

30: What I hate the most about work/school - it’d be much much shorter to ask what i liked about school & then it’d be such an incredibly short list

31: What my last text message says - i technically don’t get texts cause discord is near my sole means of communication at this point

32: What words upset me the most - “futa” lmao, i don’t even see it only on porn blogs anymore, i’ve seen it a few times on sfw art

33: What words make me feel the best about myself - mmm shrug, just validation of my existence

34: What I find attractive in women - not being a fuckin ter/f or any kind of fuckin bigot but otherwise?? But otherwise it’s hard to pin down lmao, all women are good

35: What I find attractive in men - since when are men attractive in literally any way

36: Where I would like to live - andromeda

37: One of my insecurities - mMM what if my friends don’t actually like talking to me & just feel bad for me

38: My childhood career choice - traffic cop lmao

39: My favorite ice cream flavor - miiiint

40: Who I wish I could be - uUUH?? Me i guess but in the right body & wihtout the defects

41: Where I want to be right now - in my room but w/ a working computer

42: The last thing I ate - cake lmao

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately - i genuinely can’t think of any real people lmao, so i’ll just say Aloy

[lunarmoonacnh]

i was tagged by the amazing @unhugme

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST… 1. Drink: diet coke

2. Phone call: my mum

3. Text message: my best friend telling him goodnight 

4. Song you listened to: Michael Jackson - Pretty Young Thing bc it was on the radio 

5. Time you cried: like last night or the night before coz it was 2am and life

HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: ive barely even dated someone once lmao

7. Been cheated on: yup...

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: no i dont think so

9. Lost someone special: yes, my great grandpa

10. Been depressed: yes, im currently seeing a therapist 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes! every time i drink unless its wine, for some reason wine doesnt make me sick. i think its because i once totally over did it on spirits and cider so not they just taste like the time i almost died and my body cant take it

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

12. grey

13. mint green

14. blush pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: yes, i started college so i made new irl friends because of that and i have also mad new internet friends through this blog 

16. Fallen out of love: kinda, depends how you look at it. i didnt know i had fallen out of love until the relationship had ended and i didnt feel as sad as i thought i would

17. Laughed until you cried: always, when i’m with my friends all i do is cry laugh 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes, it happens a lot, sometimes negative and sometimes positive 

19. Met someone who changed you: yes, for good and bad. 

20. Found out who your true friends are: yes, once i left school i knew who my real friends are because they are the ones who kept in touch and the ones who didnt do other things that they knew would hurt me

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yess

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most, i dont know them all personally but i know of them all, no strangers for me

23. Do you have any pets: not at my house but we are getting our little puppy Sully in 14 days. i do have a cat and a dog at my dads house but i very rarely go visit 

24. Do you want to change your name: no, i used to want to when i was a kid because i used to get bullied because i had a ‘boys’ name (Billie) but now i like it because its unique  

25. What did you do for your last birthday: met my friends that i met on the internet that are now irl friends for a meal and to go shopping. we went for pizza and bowling and then shopping before they had to leave again:(

26. What time did you wake up: usually between 8am and 9am without an alarm 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was actually sleeping for once if not i was watching youtube videos

28. Name something you cannot wait for: to get my puppy and to meet up with and have a party with my internet/irl friends again in summer

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: like 15 minuets ago befroe i came upstairs to do this

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i could control my anxiety and depression or even not have it at all. i also wish my dad would pay me more attention and want to see me more because i miss him and its almost like he forgets i was his first kind before he mt his new wife

31. What are you listening to right now: the 1975

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i mean i have a cousin name Thomas? but never someone just called Tom without it being shortened 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: life? no but like the fact that im not allowing myself to do the things i want to do out of pure fear

34. Most visited website: Tumblr of course... it is never off my browser 

35. Elementary: ive honestly never wanted to go back to a time in my life more than i want to go back to elementary/primary school 

36. High School: no thanks to that. i wish i could have been one of the people that called it the best years of their lives not 5 years of asshole bullying me 

37. College/university: im commenting on this as England college (16-18 year olds) and ive just dropped out of one part (sixth from) where i was taking 3 subjects Media studies and Film studies which i loved and will miss and Psychology wich i did love but wont miss because i couldnt do it and it made my anxiety sky rocket. in september i start a makeup course and i am so excieted to be a qualified makeup artist this time next year

38. Hair colour: mousy brown

39. Long or short hair: long, like almost to my butt long (yes its natural)

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes, but i could never pursue it bc he is my friend and i wouldnt want to ruin that. ive made that mistake with my ex.

41. What do you like about yourself: my eyes. they are grey and kinda ombre like they hae a really dark ring on the outside and they get lighter closer to my pupil

42. Piercings: yes, my first and second lobes on both ears, my helix and forward helix on my left ear. half way up my ear and my rook on my right ear and then my nose 

43. Blood type: i have no idea, do people actually know this?

44. Nickname: Bil and B although i dont like B (pronounced like Bee) but its what my cousins have called my since i was really small so it doesnt bother me that much with them 

45. Relationship status: extremely single

46. Zodiac sign: Aquarius 

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: pretty little liars, it has just finished and now i am re watching it to find clues about A that i missed 

49. Tattoos: no, but i have a couple planned 

50. Right or left hand: right

FIRST… 51. Surgery: teeth removed they are the only ops ive ever had and will ever have to have touch wood

52. Piercing: ears

54. Sport: i danced as a majorette does that count?

55. Vacation: i honestly have no idea, i think i went to Devon though (its a place in the UK) all i know is my first holiday was during 9/11 

56. Pair of trainers: probably like Nike Airs or something Adidas i have no idea 

57. Eating: i actually know this bc my older cousin fed me a wham bar (a british, i think, chewy candy thing) when i was 3 week old, so i could have died the ifrst time i hate lmao

58. Drinking: i was 14, i know i shouldnt have been drinking because my mum made me promise her i wouldnt, but i remember being so drunk (idk if it was real or faked tbh) on alcopop thats right 4% alcohol and i probs had like 3 

59. I’m about to: go get my cousins baby off his Nan so she can get his older brother from nursery

60. Listening to: idk if this is like asking the same as earlier? coz if so t]still the 1975

61. Waiting for: my friend to reply to me an tell me when he is taking me for coffee 

62. Want: my dog

63. Get married: probs idk

64. Career: i dont have one rn but hopefully a makeup artist

YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: rn hugs i need to hug someone while i fall to sleep so bad its been so long 

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller bc im also tall so i need someone taller than me (i dont need but i like a partner to be tall)

68. Older or younger: older, people y age are immature so any younger and i may as well spend my time with a 10 year old

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i dont mind tbh

71. Sensitive or loud: both? not too loud though ya girl has sensitive ears 

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship, im demisexual (it took me 17 years to figure that out) so hook ups aren’t my thing

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: it depends because i tend to be the cause of arguments and things because im honest but im not out there to cause trouble i just dont like to lie

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: no

75. Drank hard liquor?: yes, dont do it, its bad kids

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: yes, i lose my glasses all the goddamn time

77. Turned someone down: yes, i always feel bad but you cant force feelings

78. Sex on first date: nope

79. Broken someone’s heart: not that i know of, i doubt it though

80. Had your heart broken: yes, again not fun

81. Been arrested: nooo

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: not always

85. Miracles: yes, the baby i spoke about earlier? yeah hes my miracle, he was born with a new strain of meningitis, he has had 3 lots of brain surgery (at a week old) and the doctors said it was a very low chance he would survive. he did 3 times. his heart also stopped 3 times, again he is here. he also had multiple surgeries on his joints, we got told he wouldnt walk but here he is at 16 months running around like a crazy person and loving life with his older brother  

86. Love at first sight: i mean no, how can you fall in love with someone based off their face (no matter how many cute people you see on the street that you think you love, you probably dont)

87. Santa Claus: hes real in my house

88. Kiss on the first date: ive never been on a proper date so

89. Angels: yeah, i really love t believe in thse things because its cute

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: im not saying their name coz idk if thats a good idea tbh

91. Eye colour: greyyy

92. Favourite movie: Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland i just love his aesthetic and the story of Alice so put them together and you have a winner

ok i dont have 25 people to tag but i do tag @theflowerkingdom @kinkylildanny @creepyphantasia @imjustacanforallthephantrash and @dead-nightingale 

if you are reading this and you want to do it, go for it and just say i tagged you!

[prinxiety-logicalitysanderssides]

1-97 NOW ITS UR TURN I DONT EVEN CARE THAT THIS IS MY MAIN U GOTTA SUFFER TOO

I. BLOODY. DID. IT. ITS TAKEN ME /TWO DAYS/ BUT I’VE DONE IT @princeyandanxiety and I’m tagging @use-it-ironically Ironi u do it too pls. I was subjected to this after I subjected Bella to this so now u have to.

Btw this is NSFW ( some of it) and mentions suicide/depression cause I went there. There is some serious truth tea in this god damnit. I put thought and love into this. And also memes but mostly LOVE and boredom. I also feel like I forgot to answer a question or two but whatever. This is 97 questions long. And it’s 2818 words.

By the end of this, you will understand that I am a wreck

Ask me things1. What’s your middle name? No.

2. What are you listening to right now? The sound of typing cause I’m not listening to music. Also the sound of my breath and the wind in the trees. V/ relaxing. (( that was yesterday, today I’m listening to MCR and sanders Sides videos at a loud volume on chromecast on my tv))

3. What was the last thing you ate? ¼ of a cup of icing sugar. I ate it out of the measuring cup lmao.

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mum. I do talk to other people, I swear! I’m just not good at phone calls

5. Do you drink? No and I won’t in the future. Lemonade all the way if I have to drink smth.

6. Do you smoke? No and I never ever will.

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? Someone as in??? Random or??. In Randoms I usually notice people’s faces and then clothes, especially if they’re eye catching. I notice memorabilia/fan stuff pretty quickly as well.

8. What is your hair color? Brown but I use hair dye to make it partially blue or purple or red sometimes. It doesn’t work very well unless I bleach my hair and I can’t do that till I’m 16 which sucks. I use hair spray every now and again, I have white hair spray and glitter hair spray, and I used to have blue as well. Glitters my favourite . I also have a full rainbow of hair chalk but my friends and I dropped it at one point during the Hair Incident of Grade Eight which is what I’m calling it now.

9. What is your eye color? Blue/Grey ish. 10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? Nope. My mum says I will if I keep looking at my screen for hours on end though. I don’t want glasses cause my 20/20 vision is serving me well and I like it.

11. Dogs or cats? Rabbits.

12. What’s your favorite animal? Rabbits/see above

13. What’s your favorite television show? Gilmore girls. Hands down the best.

14. What’s your favorite movie? I don’t really have one? Princess Bride, Sound of Music and the Captain America movies. Oh and Heathers.

15. What’s your favorite band/singer? I can’t choose but Alessia Cara comes to mind? Scars to your Beautiful? And MCR. And Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy. I’m an emo nightmare tbh

16. How old are you? Bich no u can guess. I’m a minor tho.

17. Do you have a crush on anyone? No. But I want a girlfriend/datemate ( all the boys my age are awful and the girls/nonbinary people r better)

18. What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual. To keep it simple anyway.

19. What’s your favorite color? Aqua blue/ the green of Australian forests

20. What was your most embarrassing moment? Going up on stage in like,, grade six, for a talent show, that I decided to volunteer for THAT DAY and literally singing which is fine but I kept shuffling not dancing and the other kid I was doing it with was kinda dancing and we fucking sucked. But I’m at a different school half the city away now thank god.

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Characters in stories, yeah, but like, I want to be in their universe, with their mind and my mind combined so I’m more them than me but I also remember that I want to give people a piece of my mind and fix the universe and make everyone happy but also have angst before that. I project a lot tbh. Oh well.

22. What were you like when you were a kid? I ran away from the class a lot, a ‘difficult’ and 'problem’ child. I have ADHD.

23. What would your dream house be like? Huge, I would want to have lots of pets and secret rooms and a big library and have it surrounded by country side and let scouts have camps near by and stuff

24. What last made you laugh? There were a few things but I forgot damn. But probably my bunnies antics I swear they r ridiculous sometimes( all the time) (( that was yesterday, today its sanders Sides videos again whoops))

25. What is your favorite word ? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) its called a Lenny and I love it

26. What is your least favorite word? Poo. Or moist. Both are awful.

27. What turns you on? Coffee when I wake up

28. What turns you off? Sleeping pills

29. What is your star sign? Aquarius

30. What are your favorite books? TAMORA PIERCE’S 'The circle of Magic ’ quartet and all of its sequels and Tamora Pierces 'The Lionness’ quartet and her 'Protector of the small’ quartet, really, all of her books. Also the Obernewtyn series which is FUCKING AMAZING. ITS BY AN AUSSIE AUTHOR, ISOBELLE CARMODY WHO IVE MEET TWICE AND THEY R SMAZINGSOWNFKEFKWJCKD YES.

31. Do you have any siblings? Only child, suck it.

32. Do you like to dance?Yes, but I’m not a professional or up to date with the latest ~moves~

33. What is your definition of cheating? This is hard cause my definition is in my head but it’s hard to explain. I’m gonna try though.( ACTUALLY I’m gonna come back and write this later) (( lmao I never did go back and write this but it basically depends on what people in a relationship have agreed it to mean bc I’m tired and this is complicated))

34. Have you ever cheated on someone? No I’ve never dated anyone.

35. Do you regret anything? A few things. Not gonna get into them tho. I do regret not working harder in grade seven and eight.

36. Do you have any phobias? Not really no. I hate leeches with a fiery passion and there are spiders next to my shower which I don’t like but other than that, no.

37. Ever broken any bones? No and I’d like to understand what it feels like tbh

38. Ever come close to death? When I walk anywhere cause I’m yes. Does being suicidal back when I was eleven count? And the fact it recurs every now and again? Also

39. What is your religion, if any? I piece together my own world view, based on many philosophies and science.

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? I’m going to one rn actually. School counsellor who is great and has lollipops and also let my friends and I play monopoly in her office all lunch. I lost. The bell was about to go so I just flipped the board upside down cause why not? My friends made me clean it up lmao 41. Are looks important in a relationship? Depends

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? I pray I’m more like my mum as my dad is an awful person tbh

43. What is your favorite season? Whichever one I’m not sneezing in/ when it’s warm/ I don’t really have one

44. Do you have any tattoos? No 45. Do you have any piercings? I did have normal ear piercings but they grew over

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? None

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Have you met me

48. Who is your celebrity crush? Thomas Sanders

49. Are you a virgin? Again, have you meet me. YES. Obviously.

50. Do you get jealous easily? Define 'jealous’. I mean, kind of. Not usually.

51. What is your favorite type of food? Pasta.

52. Do you ever want to get married?Depends, I mean, LGBT marriage isn’t legal in Australia for whatever fucking stupid reason ( the reason is homophobic pollies, literally 90% of Australia wants fucking gay marriage goddamnit)

53. Who was your first kiss with? Lmao I haven’t had one

54. Have you ever been cheated on? See above

55. What is your idea of the perfect date? ?'not sure tbh?

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Extroverted introvert. I like meeting people and i have lots of friends but I also need my space. I’m an introvert.

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? After seeing the 'thingu’ video, I hope not. I do believe in other life but not as sentient as us? Well, at least I don’t think we will find any sentient aliens now that we elected trump tbh

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with?Be a great dancer?

59. What is your saddest memory? Not today Satan

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe you can find someone aesthetically pleasing at first sight, at first talk, you can like them for their personality. So kind of? But not really. Movie love sucks tho. Unrealistic.

61. Do you believe in soul mates? Kind of. I wish we had a soulmate au irl

62. Have you ever dyed your hair? See above ( yes)

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?I don’t really look at gossip so??? No? They could be talking about me all the time lmao I got bullied from 11-13 years old but that’s different and now I can’t be fucking bothered to listen to bullies

64. Would you go against your moral code for money?Depending on the circumstances. I’m not evil. Very rarely would I ever do that and I have never actually done that.

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? . My teachers think I have asbergers(autism) and I agree but my parents don’t . NSFW as hell?? I mean most people would look at my chumb face and think I’m innocent i would guess. . I want a datemate? Like I haven’t really acknowledged that but like every opnow and again this Year and

66. Who are you jealous of? People who get more likes than me

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?Yes, but only if my bed is clean IE It has been washed within the last week. Sometimes I don’t wash my sheets for a month and i don’t want to subject my Rabbit toy to that. She’s thirty-nine years old.

68. How long was your longest relationship? No

69. Is the glass half empty or half full?Half empty, I drank half the water.

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Nsfw fanfiction for sanders sides. Nah, I don’t really know as I’m still in high school I’m in Grade Nine . So like? How would I know? (But seriously pls write more nsfw)

71. Who is your most loyal friend? My best friend Addy? ( she was the one we tried to comb her hair) or you people

72. Are you in a relationship? Ok this is getting annoying

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Come ON.

74. Are you a bad person? Depends. Is the scale puppies to trump or a grumpy cat to trump. Cause I’m in the low-middle of the first scale and at the bottom of the second.

75. Are you a lover or a fighter? I wanna fite but I don’t bite and I’m usually just high as a kite.

76. What did you do on your last birthday? Like… nothing. Mum and I have to save money for scout camps ( there’s a big Venture I’m going on at the start of next year, AV2018) and I couldn’t be bothered to have a birthday party when I would have to have one just before or after term starts, my birthday is the 24th of Jan. Usually I have my party like a week after school starts again but I couldn’t be bothered.

77. What is your favorite quote and why? “I’m sceptical that you could, yet intrigued that you may” I got it off a screenshot on tumblr ALSO “What are you looking at?” “ Something Replusive” “I’m not a mirror Karen” from the fanfiction Iris Zero, my fav Hetalia fan fic about Romerica. Also “I’m hella pan with a hella plan” off tumblr.

78. If your best friend died, what would you do? I would be a fucking wreck and I’m not gonna think about it.

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? If i went back and time and changed smth, i wouldn’t be me anymore, but I would go back and get a proper depression diagnosis bc we knew I had it but I’m a good actor so the doctors couldn’t diagnose the kid who was fucking suicidal great job Australia ANYWAY

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? My mum texted me this morning ( btw I did this ask over a couple days) with 'If you die today would you like the last thing you spent your precious life hours on to be tumblr??’ I responded with 'yes’ to be a bitch and also bc I kinda would? I would get all my friends and all of the food I wanted, write my will, etc. I’d go fucking ridiculous with what I’d do tbh. All the adventurous activities .

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? One time when I was 11, I had a dream I was a princess with a guy servant and a girl lady in waiting/servant and we were all bffs, ( looking normal so far lmao), and then we were getting chased around my kingdom by a guy with a floppy dick which was flopping around like a bendy/wobble pencil. Both friends sacrificed themselves to stop him and made me keep running away lol

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? I don’t know

83. Who were you in a past life? The human embodiment of Anxiety Sanders

84. What is your happiest childhood memory?Lazy sunny days with my mum. Chores and relaxing. Cooking.

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Not,,,, really,, see above, I,, haven’t really had any experience with love

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? I don’t think so?

87. If you were the prime minister , what would you do? Fucking Marriage Equality, Safe schools is mandatory, sexual assault/homelessness/youth in crisis support is fucking fixed and improved, Scouts is connected to schools, primary school system revised, improved and fixed, high school system improved, counselling is better overall, science in all grades, maths teaching is improved over all, teachers can get constructive criticism from students and will LISTEN to them. Abuse is redefined as both emotional and psychical and people start to understand that, neurodivergents are fucking accommodated more, same for disabled people. Mental illness are listened to for fucks sake.

88. What is your ideal career? Engineer, scientist, musician, YouTuber, anything that makes me happy and makes people happy and supports people. I also want money tbh so A) i can donate to charity B) i want to transition and all I fucking love memey products.

89. What is your political affiliation?/90. Are you conservative or liberal? Liberal. When I vote, I will weight my options and choose which ever is the least awful tbh. I’m an intersectional feminist meaning I support poc, the wider LGBT+ community, feminism, people with mental illness, neurodivergents and disabled people.

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection?Male doesn’t get periods so u decide

92. Do you like kissing in public? I’ve seen people kiss in public ONCE in my life so like?? Do what you want

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? Unlike my prime minister answer, I’m thinking smaller here : everyone is allowed to transition/get married/ all LGBTAI+ rights are legalised

94. Where would you like to live? Huge house full of secret tunnels and it’s all waterproof and I keep rescue pets and secretly help refugees there so they can get a normal life again. There would be huge libraries. In the countryside as well. Tazmania probably. Or Melbourne in a nice house with my rabbits and datemate/s

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation?I’d want to go on a world tour and meet all my mutuals and the people I am fans of.

96. Describe yourself in one word.Chaotic ( good lmao)(( jk every time i take that chaotic/neutral/lawful quiz I get lawful good but lawful good is was I aspire to be and chaotic good is what I am. ))

97. Describe yourself in one sentenceVery. Fucking. Complicated. Wreck. Who Loves All My Mutuals and Friends So Much.

[simonsperalta]

100 questions

100 Questions

1.    Are you young at heart, or an old soul? middle 

2.    What makes someone a best friend? Funny, caring, someone who makes you happy  and good taste in things 

3.    What Christmas (or Hanukkah) present do you remember the most? Xbox 360 

4.    Tell me about a movie/song/tv show/play/book that has changed your life. . Ghostbusters(2016) and Scream tv cause they have shown me how fuckin gay as fuck i am  

5.    Name one physical feature that you like about yourself, and one you dislike. Eyes and weight 

6.    Would you like to reconnect with any friends you’ve lost contact with? yes 

7.    What’s more important in a relationship: physical attraction or emotional connection? . emotional 

8.    Name a movie that you knew would be terrible just from reading the title. Justin Bieber : Never Say Never 

9.    What holiday do you most look forward to? . Halloween

10.  How is the relationship between you and your parents? My dad can be a dick and unsupportive but he tries 

11.  You’ve got the TV on, but you’re not really watching. What channel is the TV on? Sports

12.  Name a song that never fails to make you happy.  Debarge -Rhythm of the night (Im trash )

13.  You know at least one person named Michael. Tell me about him. Curly haired and knew him in year 8 

14.  Have you ever read the “missed connections” on Craigslist? Have you ever posted one, or wanted to?   ???

15.  If you could pick anywhere to live the rest of your life, where would it be? JAPAN 

16.  Can money buy happiness? Nope but it can buy food and does that count

17.  Do you drink? Smoke? Do drugsWhy, or why not? nope because 420 no blaze it 

18.  Is there anyone close to you that you know you can’t trust? You don’t have to give names. .   Yes 

19.  Where was your favorite place to go when you were a little kid?  BREWSTER FUCKIN BEARS 

20.  Have you ever spent a night in the hospital? . nearly 

21.  Do you enjoy being with only one or two friends, or with a large group of people?  one or two 

22.  Do you like the type of music your parents listen to? Do your parents like the type of music you listen to?    meh and nope

23.  Have you ever been bullied? Yes 

24.  If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? chicken  

25.  If your partner wanted to wait until marriage before having sex, would you stay in that relationship? yes 

26.  Do you believe in a god? nope tbh 

27.  Of all the social networks in the world, why use Tumblr? because its fun as shit 

28.  What’s your favorite Tumblr tag to track? #HOLTZMANN

29.  Would you call yourself/your family “middle class?” Mehhh

30.  Name a TV series you didn’t enjoy until after it ended.    Telletubbies, that shit scared me  

31.  Have you ever bought a product from an infomercial? nope

32.  If you could give up your car and never have to drive again, would you? nah  

33.  If you go back to one point in time to give advice to yourself, when would you go and what would you say? back to the end of 2015 and tell myself to not run into that wall 

34.  What’s your “quirkiest” habit? a few 

35.  What is “normal?” Are you normal? nope lmao 

36.  Someone close to you is dying. You have the choice to let this person live for 10 more years, but if you do, you cause the death of 10 strangers. You don’t have to see them die. Do you take the offer? Yes because I cant afford to lose another family member, plus those 10 people could be evil and plus many people are dying in a second anyway 

37.  What is one thing you could never forgive? A person 

38.  Would you rather be in a relationship after the honeymoon period ends, or be single? relationship 

39.  Is it possible for guys and girls to be just friends? yes 

40.  Where do you and your friends go to hang out? i stay at home alone so lmao 

41.  Write the first paragraph of your obituary.  This person was in love with many things and the poor bastard could never get a date rip  

42.  What is the best TV theme song ever?  HERE I AM ONCE AGAIN FEELING LOST BUT NOW AND THEN I BREATHE IT IN TO LET IT GO AND YOU DONT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE NOW 

43.  When you were young, what would you dream you would be when you grew up? A juggler 

44.  When you’re alone in your own home, do you walk around naked? fuck no 

45.  What gets you out of bed in the morning? food 

46.  Do you want to have more friends than you have right now? no 

47.  What part of the past year sticks out in your mind? February 

48.  You win a scratch-off lottery game that gives you $2000 a week (after taxes) for the rest of your life. Do you keep your job? yes EXTRA MONEY BOIISS 

49.  Could you be in a long-distance relationship? If you’re in one, what makes yours work? I think so 

50.  What’s the best route to your heart? . kindness 

51.  Have you ever met someone through the internet, then met them in real life?. No unfortunately 

52.  What is your favorite sport? ping pong ;lol 

53.  What has been troubling you lately? . my problems ahahah 

54.  Did you enjoy your high school prom? not been yet 

55.   What do you use more often: your intuition or logical reasoning? logical 

56.   Do you know what makes you happy?  Ahemm..... kate mckinnon and bex taylor-klaus 

57.  Tell me about the last book you read. SERIAL KILLERS 

58.  What is the nicest compliment you’ve ever been given? hair looks nice 

59.  Who was your first crush? Either Misty from Pokemon or the blonde cheetah girl 

60.  Do you believe that there is life on other planets? probso 

61.   Predict what your life will look like a year from now. dissapointing 

62.  Often, people will ask how your last relationship ended. I want to know how it began. lmao ive never been in one 

63.  Where is your favorite place to go out and eat?  mcdonaaaaaaaaaaaaalds

64.  What is something you want to change about your current situation? Singleness lmao

65.  Early bird or night owl? night owl m8 

66.  Are there any childhood possessions you still hold on to? idk

67.   Give me an unpopular opinion you have. . i dont like naudrey 

68.  What was the last song that was stuck in your head? Blue Ocean Floor - Justin Timberlake 

69.   Where do you live? YORKSHIRE 

70.  Do you believe in giving kids medals and trophies for participation? Mhm 

71.  What was the longest car ride you’ve ever taken? to bognor reigis 

72.  Have you ever taken part in a protest? not yet  

73.  Would you ever use an online dating service? merh 

74.  What is your ethnic heritage? Atheist 

75.  Describe a person that inspires you. Many people 

76.  If you earn minimum wage doing what you love, would you? Sure 

77.  Do you believe in luck? meh 

78.  Describe the last time you were very angry at someone. When they said I dont resemble Pidge smh 

79.  Do you want to live until you’re 100? kinda 

80.  Do people change? If so, how do you keep a relationship together when both of you start to change? no idea

81.  Have you ever risked a friendship by telling someone you liked them? yes 

82.  Would you rather be alone doing something you enjoy, or doing something you don’t like with your best friends? enjoy 

83.  Do you practice what you preach? nope 

84.  If you take precautions to stay safe, do you ultimately act more recklessly? yes 

85.  What do you value more in a significant other: Attractiveness or intelligence? .intelligence 

86.  Are you hard-headed? idk 

87.  Have you ever laughed uncontrollably when it was socially inappropriate? yup 

88.  When have you felt most alive? when i was born 

89.  Would you prefer to live? A city? The suburbs? The countryside? The mountains? mountains

90.  Do you often skip breakfast? yes 

91.  How do you know what true love is? tbh no 

92.  Would you want to know the exact date and time you were going to die? no 

93.  Where is “home” for you? my room 

94.   What song best describes your life right now?  any depressing one lmao 

95.  Do you want to be perfect?  What have you never tried, but would really like to someday? nope 

96.  What’s holding you back? bed 

97.  How do you express your creativity? . no idea 

98.  Describe your neighborhood. smells of weed and cow shit 

99.  Name something you only liked because it was popular.  Call of duty 

100.   Give me the story of your life in six words. Single, obsessing, tubby, sad, boring, gay 

[antijero]

92 truths TAG MEME.

Tagged by @elmundodeyukimora​ <3 thanks

Rules: Write 92 truths about yourself then tag 25 people 8D

LATEST…

[1] Drinks: Lemonade [2] Telephone call: Angela (Sister) [3] Text message: Telcel (boyfriend) lmao [4] Song you heard: Shakira - Lo hecho está hecho.... and i regret..... [5] Time you cried: One week ago..... PEPPER POTTS WAS DYING, K? I GOT TO EMOTIONAL WITH THAT, shut up

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] Dated someone twice: Yes......... i guess? still? i dont know? hotel? trivago.  [7] Been cheated on: Welp, club penguin counts? [8] Kissed someone and regretted it: YES, mi first kiss, it was like kissing a fucking fish [9] Lost someone special: Hmm..... Nope, no :3 [10] Been depressed: Yas. Don’t ask. [11] Gotten drunk and thrown up: lol yes, but thrown up never

LIST THREE FAVOURITE COLORS…

[12] Red [13] Gold [14] Black

IN THE LAST YEAR…

[15] made new friends: Yasssssss all the bitches from GDE UwUr [16] fallen out of love: Welp, i’ve been since the last 3 years<3 luv u bae [17] laughed until you cried: i even get uffocated lmao [18] found out someone was talking about you: Hmmm i don’t remember, and i don’t really care lol [19] met someone who changed you: YAs, a lot of persons :3 and thanks for that, even the bad ones (Not really, screw your all lol), but all of it in a good way 8D [20] found out who your true friends are: Yas uwu  [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: Lol no

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: .......... i need to get out more frequently lol [23] do you have any pets: 4 dogs and one cat who doesn’t have a name 8D but i love her with my life, i call her “Gata” 8DD [24] do you want to change your name: Probably my first name, just one letter? instead of “Patrizia”, “Patricia” my mama tought that would be fun if she put a Z instead of a C cuz all the rest of my name, has a Z on it..... mom stop. [25] what did you do for your last birthday: i don’t know, i don’t really remember 8D but probably: eat.. a lot, lol [26] what time did you wake up: ........... lets see.. on this time i wake up at 9 pm... lol [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: Drawing 8D [28] name something you cannot wait for: Job? welp, mY job, cuz i want to have my own place where i can tattoo and get payed for that 8D [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: like 3 hours ago.. on my house... [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I don’t know, im ok with my life, so... nothing? cause i don’t know what i want to change? [31] what are you listening to right now: Uhmm Banana Brain - Die antwoord 8D [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: Never, probably Tomás? but i don’t remember anything lol (don’t get to surprise, my memory sucks lol) [33] something that is getting on your nerves: A lot of things? i don’t want to talk about it lol [34] most visited website: Eldarya lol [35] elementary: I was a pain on the ass lol [36] high school: Still being a pain on the ass, but not that annoying lol [37] college: bye icarly and carlos, you were great [38] hair color: Blaaack uwu [39] long or short hair: Afro... [40] do you have a crush on someone: My sweet bae ;/u/; love you burra ,3,.....

And of course, Nathan Drake :V 💕

[41] what do you like about yourself: probably that i don’t give a fuck on mostly... Welp, everything? and my acento fierrO PARIENTE, ARRIBA EL NORTE CHINGAO

[42] piercings: None :[ [43] blood type: O+ ? guess, don’t know [44] nickname: Antijero, Vendetta, PiaVentetta [45] relationship status: With maaa babyyy YASsS [46] zodiac sign: Taurus [47] pronouns: Pendeja.. [48] fav tv show: Supernatural uwU [49] tattoos: None :[[ BUT I WILL HAVE TATTOOS ALL OVER MY BODY [50] right or left hand: Right

FIRST…

[51] surgery: None [52] piercing: None :,u [53] best friend: Rafaella [54] sport: Hahahahhah, you’re funny [55] vacation: México :,[[ only, shit [56] pair of trainers: what

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: Nothing [58] drinking: Still lemonade [59] i’m about to: keep drawing my guardian [60] listening to: Music [61] waiting for: Que la pendeja de Auri me responda el puto mensaje [62] want: Burger, with a lot of meat, AND CHEESE [63] get married: pa’ k kieres saber eso jaja salu2 [64] career: TATTOOIST.... Soon.. in one year, hope so 8D

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: hugs u//w//u [66] lips or eyes: Asses [67] shorter or taller: Depends [68] older or younger: don’t really care [69] romantic or spontaneous: Funny and bully :9 [70] nice arms or nice stomach: Assesx2 [71] sensitive or loud: don’t get lol [72] hook up or relationship: Relationship :3 [73] troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant??

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger?: Nope [75] drank hard liquor?: yass [76] lost glasses/contact lenses?: Nope [77] turned someone down: Yes [78] sex on first date?: i don’t do dates lol [79] broken someone’s heart?: I don’t know........ hope i do not [80] had your own heart broken?: Hm yes [81] been arrested?: no lol [82] cried when someone died?: Hmm, only with my pets

[83] fallen for a friend?: Welp, my partner was my best friend and still... So yes lol, actually i’ve only get in love with my friends cause i need to know the person who i’m dating

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself?: like a superhero? heck yeah [85] miracles?: Probably, but not the divine mercy things [86] love at first sight?: Nope, as i said, i need to know the person 8D [87] Santa Claus?: I WANT MY DRONE YOU WHITE/RED MOTHER FUCKER [88] kiss on the first date?: don’t do dates [89] angels?: im agnostic so who knows :^)

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: Rafaella ,v, [91] eye color: Brown poo nigga [92] favorite movie: I don’t remember any of i have seen 8DDDD

I tag @katherinegmz95​ cuz i want to know her more(? 8D and i don’t know someone else lmao<3

[forgothowtonat]

Yeah

I’m a little late but…

Rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end choose 25 people to tag. i was tagged by @sneezingbeagle(thanks!!
LAST: 
1. drink: water fountain water
2. phone call: fatima
3. text message: my mom
4. song listened to: I don’t remember 
5. time cried: Saturday
HAVE YOU EVER: 
6. dated somebody twice: nah
7. been cheated on: nah
8. kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone 
9. lost someone special: yeah
10. been depressed: definitely 
11. gotten drunk and puked: never drank
THREE FAVOURITE COLOURS: 
12. Purple
13. Blue
14. Grey
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 
15. made new friends: yep
16. fallen out of love: yep
17. laughed until you cried: no
18. found out someone was gossiping about you: yep 19. met somebody who changed you: yeah
20. find out who your true friends are: yeah
21. kissed somebody on your Facebook list: never kissed anyone. Still.
HOW MANY/MUCH: 
22. facebook friends do you have in real life: I don’t know 
23. pets: 2 dogs 6chickens and some fish 24. want to change name: yep 25. did i get for my last birthday: i can’t remember
26. time i woke up: 6:07
27. doing at midnight: sleeping or talking to people
28. something you cannot wait for: my braces to come off
29. last time i saw my mum: right now
30. something you wish you could change about your life: change my family. Or get rid of mental illness
31. listening to right now: the clock ticking in my kitchen
32. something that gets on your nerves: people who chew with their mouths open
33. talked to a person named Tom: my uncles name is tom
34. most visited website: home access center for my grades
35. elementary school: not gonna tell ya cause i dont want stalkers
36. high school: no
37. college: not in college yet but idk where i wanna go either
38. hair colour: brown
39. long or short hair: short hair
40. crush: she knows it’s ok
41. what do you like about yourself: my hair
42. piercings: i have pierced ears but thats it
43. blood type: i wish i knew!!
44. nickname: nat 
45. relationship status: in a relationship
46. zodiac: Aries
47. pronouns: he/him probably 
48. favourite show: parks and rec
49. tattoos: none
50. right or left handed: right
FIRST: 
51. surgery: none, having teeth removed is the closest i’ve come to surgery
52. piercing: ears 
53. best friend: hannah. She was a bully tho 54. sport: dance and basketball 55. vacation: i think it was when my parents took me to Disney world when i was a baby?? 56. pair of shoes: i have no clue
RIGHT NOW: 
57. eating: nothing
58. drinking: also nothing
59. im about to: go to a rehearsal for dance
60. listening to: Cecilia and the satellite
61. waiting for: a life
62. want to see: twenty one pilots. Again
63. want to get married: yeah I guess
64. career: who knows
WHICH IS BETTER: 65. hugs/kisses: i’ve never kissed so i guess hugs 66. lips/eyes: eyes for sure
67. shorter/taller: both I don’t care 68. younger/older: idc but i wouldnt wanna date someone with more than a year age difference 69. romantic/spontaneous: idk maybe spontaneous?? 70. nice arms/nice stomach: i dont really care so either?? 71. sensitive/loud: loud I’m loud and I like having people to be obnoxious with 72. hook up/relationship: relationship 73. troublemaker/hesitant: hesitant i guess HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: nope 75. drank hard liquor: nope I don’t want to drink 76. lost glasses/contacts? Yep so many times 77. turned someone down: yep 78. canoodling on first date:nah 79. broken someones heart? Yeah lol 80. had your own heart broken: nah 81: been arrested: no 82: cried when someone died: of course 83: fallen for a friend: yes DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 
84. yourself: rarely
85. miracles: most of the time 86. love at first sight: sorta 87. Santa Clause: no 88. kiss on first date: nope 89. angels: yeah OTHER: 90. current best friends name: if I had to pick probably paige or fatima or roberto 91. eye colour: brown 92. favourite movie/s: i like finding nemo and mulan

I’m not tagging people do it if you want

[chadmothman]

tag game thingy

Rules : Answer 30 questions, Tag 10 blogs & post it as a text post.

thank u for tagging me @thoroddinsons !!

1. Nickname: dont rly have any tbh.. one friend calls me gravie/goosey, my parents call me g, everyone else calls me bitch or dumbass

2. Gender: girl

3. Star sign: cancer/leo cusp

4. Height: 5"4 ish

5. Time: 9:02pm

6. Birthday: july 23

7. Fave bands: dont bully me for being emo in 2019 but ive been listening 2 lots of mcr (appropriate tbh) fob nd patd lately, also rly like cage the elephant, rural alberta advantage nd neon trees

8. Fave solo artists: childish gambino, lady gaga, idk if this counts but i have 70s nd 80s pop playlists w lots of solo artists but only 1 or 2 songs but i listen to em both lots

9. Song stuck in your head: olivers army by elvis costello!

10. Last movie watched: captain america the first avenger

11. Last show watched: uhhh its been a long time since i watched a tv show.. i think last new show was haunting of hill house and last rewatched show was sunny

12. When did you create your blog?: about 4 years ago i think

13. What do you post?: i mostly ramble or complain or post incoherent things abt whatever im interested in atm

14. Last thing you googled?: margaret stohl

15. Do you have any sideblogs?: yes i have a sunny, minecraft, and dirk gently sideblog. The dghda one is completely inactive now, and the other 2 arent very active either

16. Do you get asks?: almost never lol

17. Why did you choose your url?: oh... you know ;)

18. How many blogs are you following?: i havent recently checked this until now but fucking 4019 oh my god

19. How many followers do you have?: 364

20. Favourite colour?: hm idk i like green nd blue

21. Average hours of sleep?: 6 on weekdays like 10 or more on weekends lol

22. Piercings?: earlobe, industrial, rook, orbital, snug & belly button, i want more tho

23. Instruments?: talentless...

24. What I'm wearing: tie dye tshirt + guitar hero pj pants

25. How many blankets do you sleep with?: one

26. Dream job?: honestly ive had a million dream jobs in like the past yr but rn id say id like to own a thrift/vintage furniture & trinket shop lmao i love tht kinda shit

27. Dream trip?: italy!!

28. Fave food?: god. maybe like... hashbrown casserole? i just know that there has nvr been a time when i didnt want hashbrown casserole

29. Nationality?: canadian

30. Fave song?: I can nvr pick but zombies by childish gambino has been stuck in my head a Lot lately

Ok this is the hard part uh im just gonna tag some mutuals i see on my dash/in my notes often sorry if its weird cause i dont rly know anyone on here: @buttbyrd @robotwiink @tellhound @iwasoutforstars @asklepianlesbian @sickbutkicking @cuddlycryptid @pureheroine2012 u don’t have to do it if u dont wanna!

[fair-dinkum-mechanic]

i dont think any of you should bother caring at this point and im just goin gto ramble and not make any fucking sense at all yet again. my entire life story is written below. Like. my entire fucking worthless stupid disgusting life story that shouldn’t even exist because I shouldn’t fucking exist

it’s so, so , so SO hard every fucking minute of every fucking day to be living with the absolute truth that I’m NOT good enough that I never can be good enough and that I never WAS good enough. Not for anyone, and not for anything.  I’ve told this story so many fucking times now but I need to recap and overshare just to put it in clearer perspective in my own mind. I don’t care if anyone reads it, I don’t think anyone will anyway, but its basically my fucking life story and how its all just been one huge lesson that I am literally worthless breathing garbage. 

I think the ONLY time I’ve ever had any fucking worth was when I was extremely young. Not that I can remember much from the ages from 0-6. I remember my entire family LOVED me. Sure, my sister was jealous and quite enraged that my mum had another kid, especially since I was unplanned and there’s a good 14 year age gap between me and my siblings, but when I was extremely little everyone seemed to love me. I was pretty shy and clingy, but if I was comfortable around people I was extremely polite and always laughing. I see videos of myself as a really young kid and I see myself in him but it’s just so distant from who I am now. I was gentle and loved nothing more than to make people laugh and entertain them. But yeah, I also threw a few tantrums too. I’m a fucking virgo.  Then of course school started, and that’s when my differences really started to show. I was too gentle and too quiet. I wasn’t boistrous and full of energy like the rest of the boys around me. Naturally, I became friends with many more girls and seemed to gravitate more toward the softer, more quiet kinds of things. I didn’t like sports, and I hated loud noises. That started making things difficult for me when trying to fit in, but still, we were all pretty young and nobody really cared at that stage. There was some light bullying but normal kid stuff, nothing that really hit home just yet. I was a little fucking cunt to the friends I did have though. I had obviously been far too spoiled and raised on my own so I didn’t know how to be empathetic and kind to my friends. I was possessive and cruel to them. I remember smacking one of my friends right in the nose for choosing to play with some other kid that I hated for the day. I was only 7-9 at this point though. 

My dad was always pretty distant. He had an extremely short fuse and foul temper. I once saw him fighting with my sister to the point of physically grabbing her and makiing her fall to the floor. He took her car keys so she couldn’t leave so she ran to my grandmas house. Once when I was about 5 I was taking too long to get ready in the morning for school and while I was brushing my teeth he burst into the bathroom and snatched my toothbrush out of my mouth and threw it hard at the wall. My sister came out and they screamed at each other because he woke her up when she had the night shift. He’d chased me with shoes, belts, and said all manner of things to me. I was never ever close to him and I don’t really care that much. I care to the extent that because of it I wont’ ever be able to understand a fatherly bond or how that is meaningful to people. He was an extremely hyper masculine person. He used to be a football coach, was heavily into football and women, was extremely homophobic and the like. He wasn’t all bad, but that was the person I knew and saw the most of.  Things got quite good for me for a year and a bit. My teacher told me to find new friends and I did, which led me to one of the best years of my life. I was 10 or 11 and I had one extremely close friend called Ben, and we used to hang out all the time. Our families spoke and I got along with his siter and he got along with my family too. We’d have sleepovers all the time and we’d do all the fun shit kids would do like go to carnivals, watch inappropriate horror movies, play games, think that staying up past 12 was a sin, etc. Eventually all the friends I’d made in that time left my school due to family moving or to escape the relentless bullying at the primary school I went to, which I was about to face. I still kept in contact with Ben, but they’d all left the school and by the time I was 12 I was left with no friends at all. 

I’m certain that’s when things really started to spiral out of control for me. I would spend lunchtimes walking around the school by myself for the entire hour, trying to make it look like I was going somewhere so the other kids wouldn’t know I had nowhere to go and no one to talk to. Eventually they figured it out though and I became the target of daily bullying. They’d shout out at me that i was a loner with no friends, I’d be picked last for everything, I used to brush my hair all the way across like a hideous combover, and of course I withdrew more into myself and eventually because I didn’t like sports and was quite gentle, the homophobic bullying started. Teachers and my mum tried to push me to get talking to the kids and make friends with them but even when I tried I couldn’t say a single thing right. They’d always make fun of me whenever I opened my mouth. I remember telling a ghost story while everyone else was and for the rest of the day the entire class of 30+ kids crowded around me laughing and pointing, some poking me and the teacher did nothing. When I finally told them to fuck off I was sent into detention for swearing. When I approached teachers they would get frustrated and tell me that I should’ve told them sooner. I would be pulled up on the smallest misbehaviour and punished because I was isolated and alone so I stood out. I think the lowest point for me was when I went to speak with kids I’d been trying to make friends with for an entire year and they turned around and asked me if I wanted to hear a song they made. And It was about me, how ugly I was, how gay I was, and how much of a loner and loser I was. I had to stand there and watch these girls do that as the boys laughed. That’s one of the only things from those days that’s really stuck with me I think. The rest of it I’m pretty much over. Of course it still has its effect on me, but I don’t expect apologies or hold it against any of the kids who did it. I can see the impact it has had on the rest of my life though.  For my final year of primary school I managed to find friends again, although the kids who used to bully me were still around and all the homophobic bullying continued. 

Mind you, at this stage I had no idea that I was gay. I hadn’t really thought about it. In fact, I was jerking off to women, it wasn’t until later on that I found it out for myself, so being bullied so hard for my sexuality for so long I think played a huge huge role in how long it took me to accept and understand it.  Anyway, I left primary school terrified to go into high school like everyone is, but I was kind of hopeful that I’d get there and things would be better. Of course, I was wrong, because I wasn’t prepared for how grown up a lot of the rich kids at private school wanted to seem. Around the first year of high school when I was 13 I drifted away from Ben, which still makes me sad but we’re both entirely differnet people than when we were kids, obviously. He’s a very straight guy and I’m a very gay one. I made another very close friend in highschool though, and this is where I’ll stop saying names because a lot of these people are still in my life. He was also brand new to the school and we lived extremely close to each other. For a while, it was only me and him, two extremely dopey 13 year old kids with horrific haircuts, braces, and breaking voices. By this point my skin had really started breaking out and I can assure you I was still not into sports. Not really the best thing when I was enrolled in a private school known for its sporting elitism. I realised really quickly that things weren’t going to be easy for me there. It really didn’t take long for the homophobic bullying to start up again. It was much, much worse this time though. People would actively avoid me, they would spread rumours that me and my only friend were fucking (he’s another extremely straight guy) and it just made me horrified that he’d ditch me to avoid all that. A girl I’d never spoken to, who was extremely popular, once did one of those trashy “Tag Your Friends Who...” things on Facebook. I wasn’t friends with her but stumbled across the photo somehow, and on the part that said “tag your friend that’s most likely to be gay” she had written my full name, and there was a huge comment thread underneath it with the boys and girls from school saying things like “HAHAHA and what about the science teacher he sneaks off into the storeroom with...”. Even though I’d managed to make more friends, my confidence was fucking gone. I could barely open my mouth in classes. The bullying came from the teachers too, primarily the sports department because they had so much power. I’d be singled out and chastised and was threatened with expulsion more than once for refusing to sign up to extra curricular sports and show up to Saturday morning games and such. This caused extreme conflict at home too, with my dad being such a masculine guy and respecting the boys sport master as he was an ex-state football player. He’d yell at me and resent me and tell me how much better his life would be once I left home. Mum would also fight with me because I was just so adamant to not give the teachers what they wanted.  Once I got older around 16 I really started to figure out that I’m not straight. I had crushes on girls, I even dated one for a short while, but we kissed twice and I bailed on that. I’d managed to create a pretty solid friendship circle.For reference sake I’ll make up names for people. I got in touch with one of the girls I was friends with way back in primary school, one of the ones I was a cunt to (Susan), and my Straight Friend from high school (Peter) had a friend of his own who was having extreme difficulties at home and making friends at school (Harvey). I also met a friend online who we used to speak almost every day and she was a real comfort to me and genuinely wanted to speak with me all the time (Karen). I lost a few friends from my younger high school years, but eventually somehow ended up with a group of the more “nerdy” girls. Me and Peter were finally in our own friendship group within school and I was able to throw parties and 20+ people would attend. Of course, I was still the victim of homophobic rumours and bullying in PE from both the jock boys and teachers, but overall It was going okay. I had my first crush on a boy, and to this day I’m not convinced he’s entirely straight, but also he was extremely attractive and very popular so I had absolutely not chance with him in a million moons. We only spoke on MSN and never spoke at school. I was also having minor obsessive crushes on girls as well, but I think that was from my feelings of lonliness and also seeing straight people all over the place and thinkin that was supposed to be me.  Eventually, somehow I became extremely close with one of the girls in our friendship group at school (April), and me, her and Peter became a trio of sorts. We were very close with the other friends too, Harvey and Susan and we’d often organise parties and gatherings where we’d have picnics or go places, see movies, or hang out.  Eventually the final year of high school came along and I embraced my passion for acting and comedy. Suddenly, almost everyone in the school loved me. They thought I was the most hysterical, valuable person they’d met. I was still withdrawn and compltely unsure how to act around any of them, but eventually I came to it and made a few friends from being more open with myself. I was so closed off and just sure that everyone was out to bully me and I’d become judgmental and bitter, but I’m so thankful I got to know some of those people a bit better. I just wish I’d been able to do so sooner.  At home things weren’t going as well though. My dad was diagnosed with a rare lung condition, and my brother and sister had begun to fight quite viciously (both of whom had moved out of home long ago and had families of their own). It devolved to the point where my brother completely shut off my sister and my parents from his life. We didn’t hear a word from him. 

Also at this point Peter and Karen started dating, despite her living in NSW and him in SA. That didn’t end well and it caused a rift between them. Karen was also starting to experiment with drugs and argue with us quite often. She also became quite distant after some time. But she’d even come down to visit us here twice. 

Peter really started to drown himself in study, and that left me and April. During this time me and her became really close. She was the daughter of two of the teachers at the school, so obviously we couldn’t get into too much trouble, but we had free lessons together and instead of studying we’d sneak off to Maccas for lunch and every week we’d visit a pet store up the road and visit all the animals that we’d given names to. We even went into the city once and brought Disney DVDs and Britney Spears albums. She was the first person I came out to, and I remember it as clear as day because I got a blade of grass stuck in my eye a few seconds after.  The last year of high school is when my mental health started to really deteriorate. I felt lonely, worthless, ugly, and extremely afraid. Schoolwork had an effect on me that I’m still not able to fully describe. It drained me of all energy and made me want to cut into my skin just to feel something. Of course this meant that I wasn’t able to provide my teachers the standard of work that they wanted, and they berated and screamed at me for it. I fought back, becasue it’s all I knew how to do, but I was always told I was rude, disrespectful and being difficult.  I remember the exact day I knew something wasn’t right in my brain. I was supposed to be in a Biology lesson but I hadn’t done work on an assignment tha was due. I couldn’t front it. I didn’t do it because I couldn’t. I’d sat down and tried and tried but I couldn’t wrack my brain to do it and I couldn’t ask for help because I had shut down. I was walking around school, breathing so hard I could feel my heart pounding in my throat, and eventually I saw one of my good friends who immediately could see something wasn’t right. I didn’t say anything and she didn’t either but she immediately hugged me and all I did was sob and tell her I just wanted to kill myself I just wanted to run onto the road and have the cars flatten me. She took me to my class and explained it to my teacher who was surprisingly very understanding. That teacher from then on made sure to check up on how I was doing with work and asked me if I needed any specific grade and once I said no she undeerstood and said “we’ll get you the passing grade you need, but we won’t push you any further than that, alright?” and I’ll never forget that. It was one of the kindest things a teacher had ever done for me. Her understanding meant so much. 

Although, my mental health continued to fail, and my life continued to get harder. I finished high school with very below average grades, and it seemed like most people were over me and didn’t really care. I was also coming to terms with just how gay I was. Which was very. And I hated the fact I’d never been in a ~~~real~~~ relationship. Lonliness was taking me over. April was there for me every second though, and I opened up to her about how I felt. Peter eventually moved to NSW to study there, like he was always going to. It was very upsetting for our friendship group as everyone loved him, and I was so close to him for such a long time that not having him around constantly was going to be really, relaly hard. Luckily I still had April and all of my other friends who wanted to hang out and see me a lot. Harvey, Susan, and my other new close friend Talia were all there. Susan and Talia both went to study art at uni, and they both got put in the same class. They didn’t know each other too well but I was very excited for the both of them to get to know each other, and eventually they stated to get along really well! 

Me and April only got closer as the first year out of high school went on. She would catch the bus to my house and we’d hang out and do fuck knows what. Anything we felt like. Sometimes she’d stay the night, and she’d always be there to help me set up for parties or through difficult times. We’d speak over skype almost every night and we did so many things and spoke about so much stuff that I can’t even think of many things off the top of my head to list becasue there’s just so much we did. It reached the point where there’s not one thing she didnt know about me and I don’t think there was one thing I didn’t know about her. When we played truth or dare at parties we could answer for each other, and we were communicating with silent looks. 

Still, my depression was getting worse. My lonliness was getting worse. I was desperate, horrificly so, to find a boyfriend. I got in contact with a boy I met vaguely through an old friend who did youtube. I started practically harassing him. Messaging him every day, getting so sad when he wasn’t as intersted in me as I was in him. I confessed my feelings multiple times and never took the hint. I was just too desperate and it was making me even worse. Susan went to school with this guy, and she didnt’ like him (like most people at her school) and when a night came that I was going to make an attempt and messaged my friend Talia about it, having her talk me down and thanking her for it, I was terrified. Anyway a week or so later I had a party at my house and Susan came to help me get ready. I’d invited Talia but she said she wasn’t coming. Susan handed me her phone for some reason and it had been left open on her mesasges with Talia. I saw something along the lines of “I can’t come tonight I’m far too annoyed at Marc for that.”. I didn’t say anything and took it to deal with later because I didn’t want to make it look like I was snooping. I’d invited the boy and one of my new friends who was friends with him to this party as well. Susan had messaged Peter all about it saying how he should be happy he’ snot here anymore because I was just feeding this boy alcohol to try and get him drunk and there was absolutely no other beverages on offer. She said how selfish and inconsiderate I was being, and how creepy and uncomfortable for others my relationship with April was. She said I was only depressed because my mum had sheltered me and that for me to get over it I needed to have some real suffering and some real pain. Peter was forwarding all of thsi on to me, becasue he knew it wasn’t true because he knows who I am and wanted me to know that she was saying these things and wanted to hear my perspective. I was annoyed, but April was there with me and supported me 100%. I was able to keep it to myself, and I wanted to try and smooth things over with Susan and Talia. Talia wasn’t speaking to me nearly as much as normal which was very hard because I used to call her one of my best friends. Susan was still speaking to me a bit though, however she seemed much angrier. I messaged her eventually and asked “Hey, have I done anything lately to upset you or Talia?” and she said why I asked that and I just said “I just feel like I’ve perhaps done something to upset you two” and all she said to me was “Talia had a friend who killed himself and my uncle almost did so maybe you should think about that before you say anything. Anyway I have to go now.” 

Things just started to boil over more and more and I was becoming angrier and angrier because as time went on Susan and Talia were actively trying to gather my friends and stage an intervention for me to cut specific people out of my life. Those people being the boy I liked, the new friend I’d made and was getting very close to, distance myself from April, and move away from my mum and sick dad. I got drunk at a party and ended up screaming at Susan as she tried to boss me around. We didn’t speak much after that but she messaged me after not speaking for months asking for us to meet up one on one. I told her no becasue it wasn’t just me she had a problem with and it wasn’t juts me that she’d hurt and we should all speak about it as a group. She instantly replied with aggression and denied ever talking about me behind my back and trying to turn people against me (I had actual screenshots of this occuring). She told me I was fake and weak and that I needed to get over myself. Then she blocked me without giving me any chance to respond. 

I hung on to anger about this for so long and I’ve only very recently gotten over it. Suffice to say I’ve never spoken to either Susan or Talia again after that, which is sad because I used to consider both of them some of my best friends.  Time went on, eventually I got over the boy but I’d managed to make a very good and best friend in the friend I’d re-met through him and she’s still one of my best friends to this day and one who has managed to stick wtih me all this time. I only have positive things to say about her, and if she’s reading this i know she’ll feel self concious that she’s not in this story much but that’s because I’m focusing on mostly the bad parts and the good things in the past that turned bad and she isn’t either of those things and she doesn’t mean any less to me than any of this shit that I’m writing out now.  My dad’s health got worse and worse. He was in hospital a lot and he was having immense trouble breathing. During this time I actually met a boy on Tumblr and we began to date shortly after. The problem was he lived in NSW, but it alleviated my lonliness at least and I felt so happy. However it was extremely bittersweet because at the same time I had to keep it a complete secret from my family, which was difficult when our only form of communication was Skype. I had such a horrible, sickly fear that my parents would find out. I would have panic attacks over it and still to this day, even though my mum knows now, it makes me feel ill to think about it.  I remember hearing dad downstairs one day, choking and trying to scream out for help. He was rushed to hospital and kept in the ER. He was strapped to oxygen machines for days. Mum was in and out all the time. I spent so much time at the hospital. Eventually the doctors told us in a roundabout way that he was dying, and he was dying within the week. He was fully aware of what was happening, and things only got worse. I sat there as his mind twisted itself around. He so desperately didn’t want to die. He would explode into panic attacks where he would cry and wail. There was no anger in these, just complete and utter horrible anguish. I’d never seen anything like it before, and I just had to sit there while mum was crying trying to calm him down and the nurses had to come and strap him to the bed. Eventually he was so sick that he couldn’t speak. He was on almost 100% oxygen and they had to drug him up so he couldn’t know what was happening. Eventually, the time came where my family told them to turn off the breathing machines, and he died within minutes.  It’s then that my brother came back. He felt guilty and was trying to fix things. 

Things between him and my sister couldn’t be fixed though. They didn’t speak and there was still so much hatred there. 

With dad gone, mum couldn’t afford the house anymore. It was just me and her, so she had to sell it which was horrible and stressful and hard. I was suddenly having to help with all of these grown up things that i never thought I’d have to for at least a few decades. All the while I was being pushed into deciding what to do with my life and sitting on my massive fucking secret. 

April was still there through all of it though. Peter was too, but not as much, he was interstate of course. My boyfriend and my new friend were there just as much as April. Harvey was there too. 

Oh boy was Harvey there. He and April ended up having a uni class together, and they became closer. This lead to Harvey developing an infatution with her which she relayed to me every day. It led to her having to gently let him down, and he spent a full year hating her. Truly, viciously hating her. His attitude had changed and he was becoming more and more arrogant and self ighteous. Peter’s family had basically adopted him as their own and even they were having conversations with me and April about how horrible he was being. When this was brought to his attention, he only got worse and actively worked to bring down any of us who had a part in saying anything. I had lost all patience with him since I was told of his sexual harrassment, entitlement to women, and selfish comments, and so I was ready to cut him off completely and I made that no secret.  Around this time my boyfriend actually made the move to SA, and him and April became roommates. I was absolutely terrified because I was so scared that my mum would find out about it. I was happy to have more people close to me physically, but the terror outweighed it. 

April and Harvey continued speaking, although she was very vocal with me about her distaste for him and her insistence that after uni was over she wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. That’s why when she told me he’d asked her to go to his house to talk, I wasn’t worried. I let her know she was free to tell him every little thing I’d said and let him know I didn’t care I’d say it to his face personally if I could.  Things were never the same after that. I’ll never know what was said, but since that meeting between them, April and me were never as close as we once were. She started ignoring my messages, ditching events with me and our other friends to go and see him, actively berating things that she knew I really enjoyed amongst other things.  It planted the seed of something I never thought I’d ever see between us, a lack of care and even irritability. Things got worse and worse and eventually we weren’t even friends anymore. Not just not best friends, we weren’t even friends. She was seeing Harvey so often, speaking with him all the time, doing things that we used to do, all the while Havey was making life hell for me. Punishing me in ways only a silent manipulator can. I tried to reach out and tell people what was happening but nobody believed me and I still don’t think anybody does. This only made it worse. I became angry because April had never had any reason to distrust me before, and I didn’t know why Harvey was that reason now. Eventually I cut her off, I didn’t think she was the person I once knew and I didn’t think she even liked me anymore. I felt pain whenever we spoke or saw each other. I wanted to reach out to my extremely close friend, somewhere in her and beg and plead with her not to be taken in by Harvey’s new manipulative tricks. It was too late though. I failed her, and I’d tried so fucking hard. He was still trying to get back at me though, in every way that he could, and she was enabling him to do that because she was still a aprt of my life. I had to cut her out no only for my own safety but for the safety of my remaining friends.  Now I’m at the stage where I am now. Everyone left in my life has tried to leave  me because I’m too much, and whenever it happens I can’t handle it. I think the moral of my life story is that I’m not, have never been, and never WILL be good enough for anything or anyone. Aside from when I was extremely young, barely walking, I haven’t been worth anything. I’ve just been a disappointment, someone to cut off, to dismiss, or to push aside. I have tried everything to be better and worth people’s investment, but it never works. I know even now those who remain close to me, all of them, are thinking about ways in which they’ll cut themselves off from me, knowing that it’s healthier for them. My boyfriend travelled overseas without me without any regrets, while I felt crushed and alone because it had always been my dream to travel with a boy I loved and who loved me to special places to see it together, but I realised I’m not worth that to anyone else. He broke up with me because even after all of these things I’ve been through my walls are absolutely rock hard and impossible to break through, and I can’t let anyone in or let anything out. He only took me back because of how unstable and volatile I am.  One of the only joys in life I have left is my cat. I truly love her so much because she’s the only one who has been with me from start to present through at least the end of school shit that happened. I know she’s only an animal but to me she’s the only one I can open up with and be completely comfortable around. I am so thankful all the time that she’s with me.  I know I’ll never be worth anything to anyone, and I’m finding it so fucking hard to trust again. I don’t see the point when all my days are empty and I know that once life takes away from me what I have, I’ll be ready to die. My mum still cares for me. She drives me to work because I can’t do it myself. She cooks, she washes, she helps me with things i need to do. She’s older than most, and she wont be able to do those things much longer, and I am very close with her. My emotional distress is going to become too much on top of the material support I’ll no longer have. 

My cat, is a cat and as such has a much shorter lifespan than me. She will die and I have no idea when. 

There is nothing for me to live for past these things. Every other person who will be in my life past those things has told me, shown me, or let me know in other ways that they will not be around in any significant way, and I know it’s because I am worthless and awful. And I can’t count on myself because all I want is to fade away. So that’s what I will do.  Fucking novel. Nobody cares about my life enough to fucking ead all of this anyway lmfao.