#not tagging pro because i kinda want this to be seen by people who don't already agree with me

[inert-displacement]

Hey! Just wanted to. I guess speak on behalf of everyone. Something I am definitely in a position to do.

First, absolutely without a doubt, your word should be final when it comes to your body. Only you know what you want, and no-one else has the authority or the right to tell you what to do with it.

I think people might just be a little. Confused? I guess? Coz like you said, you don't take sexual satisfaction from gaining weight or maintaining a heavier weight. In itself, completely fine - gaining definitely isn't for everyone - but you do run a gaining blog. Using gaining tags. And post in a very pro-gaining way a lot of the time. And it kinda feels like you snap between being very pro- and very anti-gaining...suddenly. And often. Which can be a bit disorienting from an outside perspective.

If you dislike being skinny, also perfectly fine - but if you don't like gaining, it strikes people who do as quite an unusual avenue by which to address disliking being skinny.

To speak personally, it sounds like you might be experiencing some kind of body dysmorphia - not gender dysphoria, which sounds similar but is very different - where you dislike how you perceive yourself physically. It sounds like you're addressing that in a very intuitive and sensible way: changing how your body looks. But if you don't like how your body looks now either, it might be worth just chatting with someone with some professional experience about addressing it, coz it might run deeper than what your body looks like.

If you do like how your body looks now though, you just don't want to be involved in gaining: brilliant! Being heavier doesn't have to be a kinky thing: it's a kinky thing for us, but it's also just a completely neutral fact about a person.

What can happen, and I've seen happen before, is people can enter the gaining scene because they enjoy being a little heavier in a completely non-sexual way, but the people around them in their everyday lives are like. Vehemently against it. So they find communities online that support them. But the thing is, there's a middle ground between people who are totally anti-fat and. Y'know. Fetishists. It's what we talk about when we talk about the body positivity movement! If you're healthy and happy, it isn't for anyone else to make you feel bad about how you look. And there's a thriving online space for that as well! Hell, a lot of us are kind of part-and-parcel members in a non-sexual context.

I would say, in either case, the online gaining community might not be for you. We totally support whatever decision you choose to make, but if gaining fundamentally isn't your thing, we're ill-suited to help you get what you want from your body or environment.

Let me rephrase something. I completely love the idea of getting bigger and fatter. Makes me aroused every single time. But the actual eating part I can’t get aroused by like others can.

I enjoy getting bigger than what I was and at time it is very intoxicating and erotic. But being a cheerleader I’ve learned to become very vain with how I look because the culture I’ve been apart of is just very self deprecating.

I do enjoy this community it’s very lovely i just tend to get very down on myself sometimes and often very ashamed of myself.

Because I live in the south anything that’s sexually deviant is shameful. And I feel that this fetish is very deviant from traditional sexual behavior. So I often get conflicted about myself.

I have had this kink since forever, I used to shove pillows

In my shirt as a kid, blow balloons up in my shirt. And that was at a time when I had anorexia (ironic asf) but my relationship with food is better but I don’t want to be gluttonous or greed because as a kid I’d get yelled at for that!

Sorry for the long long long post but I hope this has cleared up a lot and makes my mindset more clear to all of you🫶🏻

[fairuzfan]

Your post about how many people are unknowingly falling for & spreading propaganda... yeah. I typed up a whole spiel of a comment on one of your posts the other day that I ended up deciding not to not actually post because it felt like detailing, but seriously. The amount of well meaning, genuinely anti-zionist people ignorantly sharing zionists' posts because they just don't pick up on the leading undertones is honestly more terrifying than than the amount of actual zionists in some ways.

I'm someone who was born into a doomsday cult, and seeing all these people falling for the exact same blatant (or so i thought lol) recruitment/manipulation tactics I've seen used by them my entire life has absolutely fucking terrifying. These are people who are actively trying to combat zionism, but I guess the general public is so uneducated about propaganda/cult tactics that what immediately reads as blatantly manipulative, misleading bullshit to me just doesn't even register as strange to most people. Not to be repetitive, but seriously: fucking terrifying.

There's so much focus on the way people/groups who want to manipulate you will use language of fear, but in this case especially, people need to realize they will almost always appeal to your compassion before they appeal to your fear.

It's all peace and love and happiness because that's what gets people in the door. You preach (or post) the mushy, happy, fun stuff that makes people feel good to draw them in, and you slowly start peppering in the ideas you actually want to lead them to believe later on once you've got them wanting to believe you.

This also has this added effect of helping the group or person's image. Even the people who you don't manage to draw in will have the impression of you as someone who runs their mouth 24/7 about how you're full of love and want the best for everyone, which is especially useful for when you inevitably want to frame yourself as the victim to demonize the people who will inevitably oppose you. If your first and only exposure to a person is seeing them calling for world peace and universal love, you are much more likely to be inclined to believe they (and by extension their cause) are the sympathetic, loving, peaceful good guys being unjustly targeted.

Sorry for rambling, but like... really. It won't always be something nefarious, of course--the vast majority of the the time, it won't be--but I think we would all be in a much better situation if people took it as a general rule of thumb that you should always be a little suspicious of overly vague talk about peace and love.

You're EXACTLY right. I really appreciate this message, because you put to words a lot of my inherent analysis of arguments and ideas. I like grew up with this rhetoric so it's easy to spot for me, but the way that people speak about "peace" as the overall goal when they're zionist is so blatant to me because there is no material change in the scenario they propose but rather a calmness where Palestinians are ignored.

And picking up on subtext of a lot of messages is something you have to have a muscle for kinda because of how subtle it is. The frightening part is, you're right, that the indoctrination part of zionism is the most harmful part because you appeal to their pathos — their fear, their sense of safety, etc — and you go on down the rabbit hole and slowly start being radicalized and pro-zionism or you might not even be pro-zionism 100% but enjoy... soft zionism as a mutual of mine put it once (if you read this and want to be tagged, lmk). Which soft zionism is the MAIN opinion in many liberal circles btw, its not an uncommon opinion.

I even remember once sharing a post by a zionist because i saw them talk about esims but when i went on their blog a few days later because something rubbed me the wrong way, I noticed their pinned and I was like "oh dam I gotta delete that other post" like that's how often this happens.

Idk, I try to combat this by putting sources or approaching from a standpoint of logical arguments rather than identity-based politics (although, sometimes i think there are some things that people who are a certain identity can be the only true experts on) so that I try to encourage actual engagement with ideas and walking them through thought processes rather than "I'm palestinian so just trust me."

Like even with my one fact checking list, idk if I succeeded but I wanted to emphasize that there are multiple factors you should consider when confronting ANY sort of information and should not blindly trust things. News sources have regularly burned or ignored Palestinians so I know a lot of us are really sensitive to these things, but I don't know! I hope people can engage with ideas more than just surface level thinking in general because it helps everyone when you actually interact with the point of view the other person is providing rather than just blindly trusting/distrusting people.

[fight-nights-at-freddys]

hey there! Feel free to block me if you want, especially if you find this rude or anything. This is actually genuine, i’m NOT being sarcastic or anti.

i’m on the fence about proshipping. On the one hand, don’t like it? Don’t read it. I’ve read some crazy fanfiction that teeters on the line, but that’s not the point. On the other hand, it gets to a point where…you’re just normalizing r@pe or inc3st in fiction. And people say it’s just fiction, but fiction can definitely influence reality! But writing shouldn’t be censored. People should be free to write what they want, however they want. It’s art and should be treated with the same diligence. However, the when, where and how proshipping fanfics are presented SHOULD MATTER. It’s not censorship to require warning tags, or restrict it from young readers more severely.

okay, that’s my little rant lol. Again, i’m not gonna think you hate me if you block me and never answer this ask. Just wanted to get some other points of view and share my own.

dwdw. and thank you for being so respectful and nice abt it <3 anti or not, its always appreciated/gen

and i (personally) have some views that are probably pretty controversial LMAO. Which is pretty much, if something is normalized in fiction and it doesn’t breach over into real life, we’re okay.

say for instance, murder is common in fiction, it has been justified, shown as good, etc etc. practically doesn’t get portrayed or seen as bad. yet irl if someone goes out there and kills a random family, ppl aren’t going to go “oh yeah, thats normal” they’re going to be upset and appalled for what that persons done.

same thing with incest and rape, theres been a lot of fanfics over the years that have those two things, yet both are absolutely abhorrent in real life bc they hurt people, and no amount of normalizing it in fiction will normalize it irl.

And we can even get into old examples like with Greek Mythology where rape and the incest were seen as normal(-ish) in the stories, and still, people think that those things are horrible in real life, so fiction didn’t affect reality there. So, why would it change with like, idk, a wincest or willmike fics.

yes writing can influence reality, but only if you let it. Do research, look at studies, don’t rely on words that a random person made up to tell a story, because then, you are at fault, not the creator or the work. (You spoken generally here, not at you anon)

If you live your life and base your knowledge only on fiction and nothing more, then yeah, your reality is going to be skewed, but again, thats not the fictions fault. - 🧁🍕

ofcofc! so, just to clear up any confusion, being proship JUST means being anti-harassment, and pro-ship and let ship. you don't gotta like what other people ship, you just gotta respect them enough to be able to block and move on.

i def agree, tags should be applied correctly, and mature content should be age restricted, but there's a limit to that imo. like, i wouldn't agree with sites making you show your ID or anything, due to the invasion of privacy, when a lot of the issue of kids being in spaces they shouldn't be could be solved by better parenting.

i also don't agree that certain kinds of fiction "normalize" rape or incest. fiction CAN influence reality, sure, but it's never gonna make you go from "incest bad" to "incest good" just from watching, like. game of thrones, ya know? there would 100% have to be a problem with the individual to begin with to even reach those kinda conclusions (and that's largely a problem with lack of parenting, education, or mental health resources)

my point is, if someone reads a yucky darkfic, and rape/murder/incest/whatever is depicted as good, it is still on you as the viewer as to how you react to it.

again, it's totally fine to think those kinds of fics/ships are disgusting! you're allowed to feel your feelings! but to assume that everyone who reads those fics has even the potential to be bad people just because they read those things is, like. objectively the wrong way to go about things

#/nm ofc - 🏁🎸

[lingeronyourhazeleyes]

thanks for your tags on that nowhere boy post! I'm so curious what your thoughts are on the movie. When did you first see it? Are you a John girl? What are your thoughts on Mimi and Julia?

aww thank you for this ask 🥰🥰 (and i'm terribly sorry, i'm gonna leave a wall of text here, cuz I just can't resist the opportunity to yap about my Beatles-related experiences and opinions xd)

first of all, i don't really get why this movie tends to get so much hate (aside from the part where John hits Paui, and i really liked your insight that it was necessary to make the subsequent hugging and crying on each other's shoulders less gay - god i hate you late 2000's), because tbh this is my favourite Beatles biopic. Aaron Taylor-Johnson captures John's whimsical spirit quite well imo and even though Thomas Brodie-Sangster wouldn't have been my first choice for Paul, he's really good at being a charming motherfucker and a lil shit at the same time :D

i think i saw it for the first time in my late teens/early 20s with my mom and her husband, but i didn't pay much attention to the details then (given that i only had a very surface level of Betales-knowledge back then). I rewatched it last November though (in the midst of a full-blown Beatles brainrot).

Am i a John girl? Huh, i guess i'm something that people around here would call a John-coded Paul girlie xd nevertheless I aspire to be a Ringo in the lives of my loved ones

And omg your last question led me very far, but I'll try to be brief (edit: i failed lol) :D so, as i read your notes, i was very surprised that it's considered an anti-Julia and pro-Mimi film (and seeing the points you have raised, now i can totally understand why). For me (even on my first viewing) it was never a Julia vs. Mimi thing. I've read it as a John vs John conflict (and this is the point where i start talking bullshit and/or total banalities. Feel free to correct me or argue with my points :D i always fancy a good argument). I've always seen him as a man with two conflicting sides: one is the whimsical, creative, free but overly emotional (consequently kinda unintegrable (i'm not sure if it's a real word lmao i hope it is :D) into modern western society) side (enabled by Julia), and the other one is the abandoned little boy who only wants to be loved, and is therefore ready (or even needs) to be controlled and steered in "the right direction" by others, hoping that they would not abandon him this way (and this side of him is fed by Mimi in a way in my opinion).

In my reading, both mother figures embodied and enabled one side of John, while actively trying to suppress or outright hurt the other side -- as, I think, John did in his own mind, constantly berating and hurting himself in the process. I thought Julia was so antagonistic (and i guess i was waaay more forgiving of her than i think an average person would be, because unfortunately in many ways her behaviour reminded me of myself), because imo society tends to frown upon overly emotional, somewhat detached and destructive, but free-spirited and creativity-enhancing behaviour, while supporting Mimi's "behave according to unspoken social rules and expectation, don't change the status quo, and suppress your emotions"-mindset, that she represented in the movie and tried to instil in John. (Seeing Mimi handle (and making John handle!!) Uncle George's death with coldness and complete suppression of emotions was just as painful and infuriating for me as the scene where Julia sent John away after all the (sometimes creepily inappropriate) lovebombing.) I have a theory that Paul was so important to John because he not only accepted but straight-up embraced (dare i say served) both sides of him. But probably i just see too much into all this xd

Sorry for the long, messy (and probably borderline meaningless) reply 🫣 i happened to have waaaaaay too many thoughts 😭😭

[antianakin]

Hey! 👋 Just wanted to send in a message and say thanks for reblogging my post to leave some of your thoughts on it. I hope you didn’t mind the tag. 😅 Half the time Tumblr breaks links to other blogs for me, so I just thought tagging would be easier. I also apologize if it felt like I was calling you out or something about giving points on pro jedi to anti jedi fans?? 😭 It’s probably just my anxiety, but I still just wanted to clarify in case my words bothered you. I was more just kinda speaking in general to pro jedi fans as a whole.

I definitely agree with your thoughts looking back on it now that the anon might’ve been genuine in the sense they weren’t trolling, but it was clear they just wanted to be told they were right. They didn’t genuinely want to debate. I kinda sometimes look for the best in people even if it’s not there. 🤦‍♀️😂 But yeah… it IS frustrating to have asks open related to answering SW meta posts or fic questions and then just see a kinda benevolently condescending anti/critical jedi ask in there like that.

Getting all the thoughts out helped me cool off from my rage at that YouTube commenter that called Leia a “brat” though for not forgiving Anakin, at least. It’s the little things in life, I suppose. 😌💖😂

I hope you’re doing good! 👍 I do genuinely love hearing your SW takes, whether on Anakin or Jedi or clone stuff in general. I feel like you’re a lot more objective than others can be about Anakin, if that makes sense?? And also just about the clones in general too and your thoughts they might not want to be seen as mandalorians (at least I think I recall you saying that before in a post?), because they’re clones and brothers in arms first and foremost. I personally like the idea of them having mandoa just because I feel like it’s something that would be taught and passed down from the genetic tree of Jango. But I DEFINITELY appreciate the idea that Jango might’ve not been as deified by clones as people believe. 😭 I’m not saying he was the devil, but at the end of the day he plucked out a kid from the thousands he left behind from being his clones, and called it a day.

I wasn't bothered at all, my firmer more negative opinions aren't going to be for everyone! I'm consistently surprised at how many people DO seem to appreciate anything I have to say on the topic, negative or otherwise. I've said this before, but I made this blog as a space for me to express more negative things and I figured that would be kind-of a turn off for people. I'm glad that it's ended up apparently being at least somewhat enjoyable to other people.

It's incredibly funny to hear myself described as "objective" about Anakin given, well, everything. I'm NOT objective about him, obviously, I'm decidedly biased against him. I HAVE tried to approach his character as objectively as I can sometimes if people have asked me to, but I don't like him much and that does color the way I interact with Star Wars and stories he's involved in. People who love Anakin, even if they're extremely pro Jedi at the same time, will often interpret things VERY differently from how I would specifically because they're more inclined to be sympathetic to him and believe the best of him in a way I just can't most of the time.

For the clones, while I've definitely expressed the opinion that they wouldn't want to be considered Mandos before, that's one of my more bitter opinions, one I tend to feel when I'm more annoyed at the whole Mandoclone concept. If I were trying to be more objective about it, I feel less like they wouldn't WANT to be considered Mandos and simply that they AREN'T Mandos. There's never any real indication that the clones feel a connection to that culture aside from like... two little designs on the helmets that could just as easily be explained away in other ways. They never actually speak Mando'a, they never talk about Jango at all, and they don't seem to show a desire to interact with the Mandos when they have the opportunity (Cody and Rex are both around during the Duchess on Mandalore arc, Rex goes to Mandalore with Ahsoka, and Rex/Gregor/Wolffe meet Sabine). Aside from the two tiniest little designs, there's never a single indication that these people ever felt any connection to being Mandalorian at all.

And I personally just find it really boring to just make the clones MandoLite and base their entire culture around one that already exists rather than recognizing that they've got a radically different kind of upbringing that would have caused some VERY different values and traditions from Mandos. They've got their own canonical slang, they've traveling all the time and could be picking up any number of different traditions from the people on different planets (language, food, maybe art and songs and dances and games). I think Mandoclone headcanons often treat the clones as a monolith instead of recognizing that they're individual people in the process of creating their own extremely unique culture. I think the clones deserve more fun and interesting headcanons than just turning them into MandoLite.

[realcube]

RANDOM MATCHUPS

✦ for @4unnyr0se

✦ tw: i have no clue what i'm talking about

BAKUGO KATSUKI — my hero academia

✦ hmm i imagine his love language starts out as quality time but when you guys get more comfortable together (and he gets busier with pro hero work) it'll become physical touch

✦ and you're gift giving love language makes you so compatible with him because he's accept the gift like 'thanks.. i guess??' but inside his heart is racing and he'd keep all the trinkets you give him in a small box in his cupboard that he secretly cherishes but (unlike physical touch or words of affirmation etc) it means he gets to keep his 'tough guy' look in front of you

✦ also something i noticed is the nicknames you give lmao

✦ 'pookie princess' I'M DEAD imagining you call bakugo that 😭

✦ 'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO !?!?'

✦ he'd be so angry yet so flustered

✦ also the fact you are a sarcastic is good but you're going to need that wit to combat bakugo's mouthiness lol

✦ omg and when something annoying happens, like a fast food place getting your order wrong or the delivery driver dropping it off at the wrong address, bakugo would be immediately pissed and you'd be like a voice of reason trying to calm him down but as soon as those workers try to get sassy with you two, chaos ensues lol

✦ like everyone else would know you are a couple not to be messed with

✦ so competitive and would try to out-spice you all the time and lose 💔

OSAMU DAZAI — bungo stray dogs

✦ i literally have not watched bsd in so long

✦ but i do think this man fits the majority of your criteria

✦ bc in terms of personality, you are kinda similar to kunikida (smart but scary at times)

✦ but with qualities that would help you and dazai get on a lot better than how he does with kunikida (like you're sarcastic and he would find that so charming. and a lot less serious, for example, how you'd rather do a casual house date than a formal one)

✦ dazai is shocked when you invite him to your house bc thats probably his first ever date that's not in a bar LOL

✦ but good idea to keep him in your house and away from other woman.. with the way that man behaves

✦ but what shocks him even more is home much he enjoys himself like??

✦ so lowkey yet so romantic and intimate, and you're so much fun to talk to so he doesn't get bored for even a second

✦ he's a changed man 😌 (kinda)

✦ the only thing is that you said you didn't want to date clown and unfortunately dazai is the ultimate clown..

✦ but you can change him!! you did it once, after all

TŌRU OIKAWA — haikyuu!!

✦ ok maybe i'm on drugs but HERE ME OUTTT

✦ you said you give good advice and TRUST this man needs it

✦ you are like the whole reason he hasn't taken a selfie with his middle finger up and tagged the whole swedish adlers team (#i'm so done with you nerds #kawa-chan out!)

✦ omg and we've seen how he is with iwa

✦ so when you get angry on his behalf (after he tells you about the audacity of first year tobio kageyama, or the whole 'should've come to shiratorizawa' thing) and you start angrily tweeting, he's like 'yes! let them have it!'

✦ you're his little demon angel

✦ that he sends off to beef with people for him

✦ and yes ofc he will listen to you bitch and complain!! literally what he was made for and he hangs on every single word

✦ i can imagine y'all doing a spa day bc you've had a shitty week , so you're complaining about it while he is applying some sort of paste mask to your face (while he's got one on too), and he's nodding along and agreeing with every single thing you say

✦ and if you have beef with a person in particular , like a specific co-worker that's annoying or a particularly terrible teacher, he automatically hates them too

✦ EVEN if you don't hate them

✦ 'and then wendy said—'

✦ 'UGH wendy. i hate that bitch. such a moron. and a loser for what she said to you.'

✦ 'haha it's okay, tōru. i'm kinda over it.'

✦ 'WELL I'M NOT'

MORISUKE YAKU — haikyuu!!

✦ the husband of all husbands. you're favourite blorbo's favourite blorbo.

✦ can't talk about this man for too long before i start foaming at the mouth so this is brief

✦ BUT i think it's funny how he's kinda the opposite of you in a sense that he's very easy to piss off , however he isn't very intimidating when he's mad

✦ meanwhile you're not as quickly ticked off , however when you do get mad, you're super scary

✦ that would make for power couple vibes

✦ also the tiny trinkets you give him will be kept in his jersey while he plays for good luck <333

✦ (but he doesn't need a good luck charm as long as you are there to support him at his games!!)

✦ his love language his probably mainly quality time or acts of service

✦but once he gets russian super league money , he will most definitely become a gift giver too

✦ he will get you one of those really expensive drawing tablets

✦ and all the cooking supplies you could ever need

KAORU HITACHIIN — ouran highschool host club

✦ of the two twins he's definitely more mature and (argubly) smart which would suit you

✦ also less psychology troubled of the two ....

✦ he's not used to girls being 'smartasses' and sarcastic but most girls at the club were very doting and not like that at all

✦ so he's charmed by how different you are

✦ he likes that you get him gifts, he thinks its cute and he treasures them

✦ and he likes to get you "lil trinkets" too except he's obscenely rich so the trinkets in question are like... swarovski crystals and antique pendants that probably cost for than a house

✦ has never been on a casual, stay-at-home takeaway date

✦ is shocked amazed by all of it , every aspect

✦ 'so you .. order the food from your phone? how does that work? does it summon a waiter to your door who will take our order?'

✦ 'the food is on it's way?? how?? it's only been twenty minutes since we placed our order.. they couldn't have made it that fast.'

✦ 'why is the sauce yellow??? is it supposed to be that colour??' he asks while dubiously prodding the chip with a fork

✦ would choke down takeaway food for your sake so you don't think he's fussy, but still prefers your cooking ;)

KAIDOU SHUN — the disastrous life of saiki k

✦ would listen to you complain about all your problems but would unlimately blame it all on dark reunion

✦ in awe of absolutely anything and everything you draw

✦ BEGS you on his hands and knees to draw him a cool pose and/or teach him how to draw as good as you

✦ and handle the heat of your cooking but would never admit it because he wants you to think he's all badass and can take anything

✦ so when he's eating your food , he's like visibly bright red and sweating but when you ask him how it is, he'll just nod and go '😁👍'

✦ bc you know him so you secretly lower the spice of the meals by a little bit , every time you cook for him

✦ so he thinks he's quickly getting used to the spice levels, but really you're just making it less spicy lol

✦ it makes him feel manly tho !!

CHOSO — jjk

✦ i've never seen jjk so this is based off of vibes + trin the weirdo skits haha

✦ so pls tell me if i'm spreading misinformation

✦ but this guys seems chill asf

✦ would appreciate a calm, takeaway and pjs date

✦ not interested in anything you're interested in but he's not interested in very many things so don't take it personally

✦ doesn't seem funny either but he's funny looking so close enough

for @4unnyr0se: so sorry i haven't seen aot, jjk or black clover (#fake anime fan 😔) so there are probably some from shows you've never seen before lol , but hopefully i introduced you to some new faves?? anyway this was fun eeee

[drop-dead-dropout]

NEW USERNAME local-queer-disappointment -> drop-dead-dropout

unpinning my other post because i want to talk a little about me and this space that i've created! hi i'm alex and i dropped out of high school twice lol

i think a dni is stupid because people never listen anyways, which is why i haven't had one, but i still see the value in at least telling people who this little corner is for.

also YELL AT ME ON DISCORD I'M woahits_alex.mp3 IF U ASK ME ABOUT FIC RECS FOR MY FANDOMS I'LL CRY WITH HAPPINESS

anyways opinion stuff under the cut. you don't have to read it, and you don't even have to listen if you do, but i might argue with you (<- serial arguer) so if you want to avoid the Discourse here ya go.

you are welcome here:

- ALL queers. trans men, trans women, nonbinary, intersex, poc queers, xenogender, "contradictory" labels like mspec gays/lesbians lesboys/turigirls/sapphileans (omg it's me!!), slur reclaims, detransitioners (who are not transphobic), mspec lesbians, aro/ace and all variations thereupon, unlabeled, questioning, etc. i love all of you. i love the community that we share. we are family, whether or not some of us want to be, and exclusionism is Not Funky Fresh!!

- pro Palestine!! i don't always rb posts as much as i used to (i am scared of spreading misinformation) but i think i'll start doing that again! (don't forget your daily click guys)

- jewish people. i am specifically adding this one to say that because of the shitty Everything, i've seen a lot of concerning antisemitic stuff recently so i'm just, yk, putting this out there.

- disabilities/systems/cluster b disorders/AAC users. i am not any of these things (except maybe plural??) so if i say/do something out of line please tell me! but i love you guys and you're absolutely welcome here.

- proshippers (if this bothers you block and move on)

- furries. not personally one of y'all but i think you're neat and you make cool art :]

- literally, like, anyone, as long as you're not a dick

you are not welcome here:

- terfs, transphobes, exclusionists, anti-mspec, anti-lesboy, and people who think transandrophobia is "fake" or whatever. go away i don't like you (or at least be prepared to be blocked or yelled at)

- similarly to last, anyone who starts queer infighting or hates on less visible queers/strangers who don't "look" queer, the whole "bi girl's straight bf" nonsense (i don't care if you think someone is cishet. you have no way of knowing that. let's stop hating people for immutable characteristics and start having thoughtful criticisms of people's actions thanks)

- ZIONISTS. BYE BYE

- (but also antisemites because come on now let's notttt. judiasm ≠ zionism)

- ableists, fatphobia, racists/bigots, general dickheads

- antishippers (again, you can either leave now or expect to be argued with)

other general stuff:

- i accept anonymous asks! and also non anonymous ones. ask me shit idk

- i am autistic and VERY gullible. if i reblog a "bait" post, or something that's clearly fake or a joke with a genuine reaction, i'm probably not playing some 5d irony chess i'm probably just stupid. sorry y'all i'm trying :\

- i don't rb nsfw. not as, like, a rule, i just don't see the value in doing so lol. if i ever did i'd tag it and probably update this

UPDATE: thought i should clarify, i don't rb nsfw but i do rb nsfw humor, like dick jokes and stuff. hope there's no confusion

- i argue with people!! i enjoy arguing with people!! usually it's in replies and not reblogs but still. if you are allergic to stuff like that maybe don't follow me? i also rb "discourse" posts, mostly transmasc support stuff and callouts of transandrophobia, general solidarity stuff with the trans community or lgbt community as a whole, proship stuff, politics, current events, that kinda thing.

- this is, shockingly, supposed to be a fandom blog! (i got carried away; i always do.) current fandoms include: ace attorney (the one this blog was supposed to be about), doctor who (childhood hyperfixation come back to bite my ass), and splatoon (no excuse). also mha is basically my abusive boyfriend stockholm syndroming me to stay at this point but i'm trying to get better (not). you can find the records of my failing recovery at @alex-is-losing-sleep-over-krbk /hj (i also sometimes shamelessly rb this blog's posts over there lol)

and i guess since i'm mentioning fandoms, here are my fav ships: wrightworth, klapollo, franmaya, thoschei, pearlina, agent 24, & cuttletavio.

anyways, that's about it. love you all :]

[maoam]

I'm sorry for this long ass ask. I just wished to get a bit this out of my chest. Feel free to delete it if you would want to feel a bit more positive!

As you said once, if I remember correctly, there is no one more mysoginistic in fandoms (especially shonen) than the het shippers rather than the "fujoshis." In my personal experience, at least, I rarely have seen people hate a girl because she is in the way of their mlm pairing. But I have seen in het ships women be especially vile with their words like slut shaming, body shaming (flat chest vs busty discourses).

Especially in the Naruto fandom, I don't understand why NH and SS stans have to be on the march of war against each other, or why pit their favs against each other when they clearly are "not in the way" of their respective pairings, or even harass all other ships. In fact, I Hinata and Sakura are even in friendly terms. If not outright, they don't care about each other's existence for most of the time, I think?? So why so much catty?

Sometimes, I visit NH/SS/NaruSaku blogs out of curiosity, without doing anything but looking. Usually their content is all about shitting on other pairings but just that. They don't support other creators who appreciate the pairings, like writers or artists. Just shit on the rival pairing while be like "unlike that shit, this pairing has sense and is better". Like, they are more obsessive about what they hate rather than what they love. Absurd.

I have seen people call Sakura a cumdumpster (I swear to god that word-) and Sarada a hoe/slut, and considering Sarada is like 12 to 16 years old... well, it weirds me out. Or shame on the fact Hinata is a busty woman and usually that's the only bad thing they can say about her that comes to my mind, along with other slut shaming.

Or the weird obsession Sakura fans have about Sakura's body, like "THIS IS WHY SHE IS NOT FLAT." Why do you care so much if she's beautiful anyway?

I can go long but I won't because it sounds kinda frustrating.

But why can't these people just... stay in their planes? And ignore each other? Or if they love their one true pairing, just support artists or recommend fan fictions they like, or heck do something themselves and create a more positive environment not only for the fandoms but for themselves as well. Because most of the time, they go on anti - or pro tags and just harass people who think differently like they do with you or sneezemonster-

Again, sorry for the rant, and thank you if you had the patience of reading. Bless your day and keep doing what you do! What you write is always interesting to read <3

People mistake fujoshis (or just people who ship gay pairings) complaining about the het ships having no mutual development/how the female character in said ship has no individual development/revolves only around the guy she likes as "hating on the female character/misogyny". Which it isn't. Sure there might be couple who are misogynists, but that really isn't what I usually see. Meanwhile het shippers are indeed very vile in their ship wars.

"I don't understand why NH and SS stans have to be on the march of war against each other, or why pit their favs against each other when they clearly are "not in the way" of their respective pairings"

Because to them shipping is also a contest, and everyone is their competitor. They need to show everyone how they ship the best ship or how "their girl" is the best girl of the show. NH will talk about how Hinata is more "fertile" than Sakura (which is really misogynistic), how she is the heiress, how she is the richest girl in Konoha (lol). All very shallow things, none of them she even earned. And SS will go out of their way to "prove" Sakura is better looking than the other Naruto girls, because somehow that matters more than Sakura not having any dignity in the story... And yes, SS's crazy need to prove Sakura is not flat, sometimes they straight up edit Kishimoto's drawings so she would have a bigger chest.

This is also why these especially crazy people don't flock to shojo as much, since shojo doesn't usually have as big of a mainstream audience as shonen. And maybe they are addicted to one-sided interaction, because they relate to it? They can't relate to a female character that has reasonable feelings?

But yeah, recently I have seen a lot of Historia hate and it's all "she's spreading her legs to the farmer", "Whorestoria", "even her whore mother didn't like her", "blonde whore" and so on from certain het ship fandom. But sure fujoshis are the worst ones for saying Mikasa's character revolved too much around Eren...

[gallawitchxx]

weekly tag wednesday 🎄

i was tagged by @deedala @mybrainismelted @energievie @sleepyfacetoughguy @mmmichyyy @sam-loves-seb @creepkinginc @metalheadmickey @transmickey to do today's game! thank you pals! when i have more time/energy, i'm going to respond to each & every one of yours!

- - - - -

🔠favourite nickname you’ve ever been given: bee :)

🗺️ where are you located? la la land

🥶⛱️ what season is it where you are now? i have no idea lmaooo. what is socal in december?

🥳 favourite tradition this time of year: going to see the rockefeller christmas tree! & we were just in new york, so i did it bayybeee! 13 years running.

🥧 favourite holiday food: pumpkin pie <3

☕️ mulled wine, eggnog or hot apple cider? hot apple cider, please & thank you

🍗 turkey, ham or nut roast (Or tofurkey?)? turkey turkey turkey

🏔️🏖️ would you rather spend the december holidays in: a cabin in the woods surrounded by snow, or a house on the beach with sun and sand? this year? on the beach with sun & sand! let's get a tan for christmas.

❄️ are you pro-snow or anti-snow? i'm pro-snow! i'm just not pro-live-in-the-snow-without-even-the-shittiest-of-city-infrastructures.

⛄️ have you ever built a snowman? honestly, i don't know? oh my god–

⛷️ skiing or Snowboarding? neither, whoops.

🎍 do you decorate for the holidays? yes! this year we're in a new place & so we got new decorations! it's all pretty simple, but i'm digging it! i love our mantle - it's got colorful little trees & sparkly garland & fairy lights... ahhh!

🎬 favourite holiday movie? ok this is not my favorite by any means, but it is very near & dear to me & i feel i must spread the gospel -- please please do yourself a favor & watch A New York Christmas Wedding (it's on boooo amazon prime boooo). it's the most unhinged thing i've ever seen. it's got time travel, it's got guardian angels, it's got a bisexual lead, it's got chris noth as a catholic priest changing his mind about gay people, it's got PLOT TWISTS! on second thought, it's absolutely my favorite holiday movie (after The Holiday & Home Alone.)

📖 favourite holiday fanfic? something kinda special, (a two of your earth minutes christmas special) by @the-rat-wins. it's perfect, your honor.

🎥 if you were to star in a Hallmark movie, who would be your love interest? i want to be in the most cliché, heterosexual, christmas movie of all time -- my character leaves the big city & her businessman boyfriend for her burly hometown neighbor & high school sweetheart, who's now a widower that runs a christmas tree farm now -- opposite tom welling (of smallville fame) in a holiday comeback moment.

- - - - -

i'm not going to tag anyone because i simply do not have the spoons, but i love you all madly. i love you! i love you.

[diaphin93]

Your musings reminded me of my own thoughts about fe3h fandom in general and w.r.t. Edie, and it is such a weird beast… It makes for an uneasy neighborhood. On one hand, it's hard to find anything pro-Edelgard that doesn't have a token "her decisions are so stupid" comment. On the other, the analysis arms-race between subfandoms resulted in some of the most intricate and interesting media analyses I've ever seen haha, including literature and film

On one hand, you can find extreeeemely well done character studies exploring personhood, bodily autonomy, nature of authority — all incredible themes. Both popular and very niche. Some genuinely superbly written, and some more amature-ish but still sporting cool ideas. And somehow, this cohabits one ao3 tag with horrific humiliation-torture-porn of a too-radical woman. Brr, I steel sometimes think about it (and the existence of AG) and can barely avoid getting miserably triggered. I think that one time you spoke about historical treatment of transgressive ladies you hit the nail on the head.

[On a side note, 3Hopes is such a funny game. Heroic Edelgard w/ Claude in SB and GW enraged all the anti-Edelgard people, and AG is an atrocity to anyone who is pro-Edelgard and/or is remotely feminist. Imho, I could be wrong, of course, I'd love to be wrong, but that's the strong impression I got from my limited information]

I think I would've been more able to enjoy Dimitri and Claude, if none of their fans espoused deeply disturbing sexual assault jokes targeting a fictional abuse survivor… Ok fine I think I still wouldn't be fine with Dimitri and his whole "let's dismember that woman and make a spectacle out of it" spiel, but maybe it would be easier for me to not read it as misogyny if it wasn't weaponized by misogynists…

Sorry for the rant with some troubling topics! :( I figured you kinda enjoyed engaging with them, so I hope that's no bother

Hi. No worries, it doesn't bother me and I'm sorry that many aspects of the community have a triggering and uncomfortable effect to you. I'm always happy to reply here.

Personally I must say, on one hand the fact that Discourse is so heated and active even 5 years after the games release is on one hand testiment to the games success at deeply resonating with people and making the choice of horde and which side to fight the war on impactful and important.

On the other hand, it lead to a massive moral panic because alot of people simply can't handle a morally grey and nuanced female Antagonist/Protagonist or a game that lets you play opposing factions. I can't imagine how bad many people in the FE3H Fandom would have been in World of Warcraft back when everyone was obsessed with the Faction System. Not leaving myself out, especialy last year where I, admittedly, really went down the deep end due to personal reasons.

Though I will say, I also dislike the narrative of Edelgard just doing nothing wrong and being a flawless pure morally good character on our side of discourse. I get it, I went there too because Discourse got so heated and the sheer volume and intensityof the poison and outright misogyny many people on the Edelcrit side of things spill and I projected alot of it, unfairly, on Dimitri myself. Sometimes I still do, though I try to be more reasonable and remind myself of the fact, that similarily to Edelgard, Dimitri is for many people a comfort character whose narrative, trauma and personal development deeply resonates with them, and I really don't want to ruin that for the people who can at least respect and acknowledge the reasons why many people, especially queer women, feel drawn to Dimitri. I mean, I once convinced a person to be more open towards Edelgard but unevitably embittered them to Dimitri and thinking back on it, it kinda felt shitty. Sure, I want people to be more appreciative and less bashful towards Edelgard, but I think I don't really want them to in turn loss enjoyment of a character that before resonated strongly with them, because thats just not a nice thing to do.

Personally, I would actually love to play Azure Moon through the eyes of a Dimitri Fan, as it is clear, that for many people the writing, themes and emotions of this story were clearly very powerful, I just can't really enjoy the route that much and don't get emotionally invested into it, it is just not for me. And the discourse probably made it even worse over time, when originally, playing CF as my first route, I was hella excited to to play Dimitris route immediately afterwards, because he seemed like such a fascinating character and I've heard so much good about it. Maybe I should return to it nowadays and look at it with different expectations and a reopened mind.

I mean, I think really the most weird and problematic people are the church fans in my opinion. Not even for liking the church cast, outside of Gilbert, whoever likes him is yikes, but for this insistance of everything it doing being this bastion of moral righteousness and absolutely correct, when the games entire story is about how its not.

But yeah, probably less of an answer, but I saw it as a good opportunity to just talk about some things that are on my mind as of late.

[galaxy-brain-rasslin]

Just some quick thoughts on All In. There will be spoilers.

Zero Hour

I, 100% did not expect Adam and MJF to win, at all. I expected there to be the initial start of a betrayal or something. I was pleasantly surprised, since I love the two of them.

Aussie Open seems really good. I should probably check out ROH.

Hook is one of my favorite anime protagonists, and Jack Perry has improved so much by being a complete piece of shit.

Also, Taz being hyped up for everything Hook does will literally never get old. Dude just sounds so proud every damn time.

CM Punk vs Samoa Joe

I don't really care a whole lot about CM Punk. I've seen a few of his pre-AEW matches, and I think he cuts a fun promo. I also think he's clearly enjoying himself, which makes watching his matches more enjoyable, in their own way.

That said, watching Samoa Joe just beat the absolute fuck out of Punk for most of the match was beautiful. I missed Joe in the original ROH and TNA/Impact, but his NXT and WWE stuff was so fun. Joe works at such a great pace, too. He literally always feels like a threat.

Seeing "real world championship" in quotes every time they mention CM Punk’s belt always reminds me of when AJ Styles was being announced in WWE as "The Man Who Would Like to be Announced as 'The Face that Runs the Place'"

Golden Elite vs Bullet Club Gold w/ Takeshita

Juice Robinson is my favorite feral little gremlin in pro wrestling.

Jay White is a beautiful piece of shit and I love him for it. He's also so fucking good in the ring.

Takeshita is also fantastic and has been consistently great.

I love how much everyone hates Don Callis.

Golden☆Lovers OTP

Hangman Adam Page is one of all-time favorite wrestlers. Just always happy to see him out there.

Ibushi tried to murder people with his kicks and it was fantastic shit.

A shitty surprise pin on Kenny Omega is absolutely on brand. I was peeved in a good way.

FTR vs Young Bucks

Fuck the Revival. I also like FTR a lot. Been a fan of theirs since NXT, and I loved seeing them draped in gold not that long ago.

I don't always feel like watching a Young Bucks match, but I always enjoy the match when it's done.

FTR and the Bucks were top-tier tag team wrestling today.

I legitimately expected FTR to lose, given the legal troubles that Cash could be facing. Seeing FTR win was a nice surprise.

FTR having arm bands for Brodie Lee, Bray Wyatt, and Jay Briscoe was so sweet, and so sad.

Stadium Stampede

Find someone who loves you as much as Eddie Kingston hates Claudi Castagnoli.

Mox looked so fucking cool walking out.

Oh my god, Trent, why, what the fuck. Please stop.

Someone getting skewers stabbed into their heads will always make me wince and laugh simultaneously.

Penta being walked backstage by medics only to return as Penta Oscuro was amazing shit. Penta is great.

Wheeler Yuta is the perfect person in BCC to be a bloodthirsty little goblin that you want to see eat the pin. He does his job well.

Also Best Friends hugging Yuta only to beat him up was gold.

I lost track of what was happening at least 400 times during the match and I don't care. I was thoroughly entertained.

Dr. Britt Baker, DMD v. Toni Storm v. Saraya v. Hikaru Shida

I assumed Saraya was going to win as soon as I saw her come out to Queen with her entire goddamn family walking out.

Toni Storm is a beautiful disaster.

In the event that Saraya wouldn't be winning, I didn't want Britt to win.

But that's also primarily because I *wanted* Shida to retain. Also, I love that Shida's theme has big 90s X-Men vibes.

Shida in general is just great. She should win every match.

I also just had no real investment in Brit for this match. She just kinda felt like she could have been nearly any other woman from the women's division. She wasn't *bad* by any means, just not someone I was pulling for or against.

I'm curious to see what happens with this implosion of the Outcasts now that Saraya and Toni aren't on good terms.

I dislike Ronnie Radke musically and as a person, so I'm not really thrilled at the idea of hearing Saraya's music more now that she's the champ.

At the same time, given all the shit she's been through, I can't be too mad about them giving her a run.

I still want Shida to have an actual good, long run though. I love her matches.

Christian Cage & Swerve vs. Darby Allin and Sting

Schiavone shouting "IT'S STING" is one of my favorite things in wrestling.

Joker Sting is fun as hell.

Swerve is actually the coolest motherfucker on the entire roster, and it is a literal crime that he doesn't have a belt.

Christian Cage is a menace and I can't get over that he wrestles in a sleeveless turtleneck now.

Darby is here for a good time, not a long time.

Sting is SIXTY-FOUR GODDAMN YEARS OLD AND SHOULD NOT BE DOING THIS STUFF.

Darby shouldn't either, but I'm fairly certain he's not even human anymore.

I love Swerve.

I also love Prince Nana.

Getting all of Wembly to shout "Swerve's house" probably felt cool.

This was fun as hell.

Will Ospreay vs Chris Jericho

bruv

Ospreay is so fucking good, dude. Like he's absolutely up there as one of the best to do this. Every match I've seen of his just blows me away.

Jericho is also absolutely one of the most versatile wrestlers of all time. I've seen this man reinvent himself like a dozen times, and every time feels just as natural as the one before it.

If they had Jericho win, there was going to be a riot.

Plz give me more Ospreay matches. Dude can fucking go.

I'm curious to know what happens with Jericho and Sammy now

House of Black vs The Acclaimed and Billy Gunn

HOB walking out with a lantern 😭

The Fireflies 😭

HOB looks so cool in white, holy shit.

I love Julia's hats.

I am not a cop, so obviously I love The Acclaimed.

Billy Gunn coming out in full-on Badd Ass Billy Gunn trunks made me feel like I was 12 again.

I love HOB, but if The Acclaimed didn't win this, after their whole mini arc of Gunn retiring, and Gunn bringing back BABG, I was gonna be mad.

Is there a rule that someone has to wreck Julia's shit every match, because lmao

A lot of fun.

Brody King scares the hell out of me.

Adam Cole vs. MJF

I went into this expecting heartbreak

Adam Cole, who took character inspiration from Handsome Jack from Borderlands 2, comes out sporting some definite Broderlands-vibe gear.

MJF is still wearing BTYBB gear.

MJF as this babyface-leaning thing is actually some of the greatest shit I've ever seen. The whole turmoil over using a weapon feels like Roddy Piper vs Bret Hart.

Cole being a desperate POS to the confused, hurt, and mad MJF was wonderful.

The tombstone onto the announce desk with metal reinforcement was brutal on my knees as a viewer.

lol Roddy. lmao.

MJF and Cole almost having a total falling out after the match was amazing.

Cole opting not to slam the AEW belt into MJF's head after the match, and they hug instead? Cinema.

Was I still deeply concerned that there was going to be a betrayal literally up until the PPV feed stopped? Oh hell yes. I watched Ciampa turn on Gargano after the little copyright stuff showed up in NXT. I will *still* be concerned about that until the moment it happens.

That said, I genuinely don't want it to happen because these dudes work so well together. They're just so fucking dorky in the best way.

Misc. Other Thoughts

I missed whatever happened with Miro and Hobbs, because I just missed the whole first hour of Zero Hour.

Apparently there was Drama involving Punk and Jack Perry-- I guess related to the use of actual glass in the windshield of the car that Hook and Perry wrestled on? Whatever. Punk isn't why I watch this stuff, but I would rather Perry not get screwed.

Why did they keep panning over to Mercedes Moné if she wasn't gonna do anything other than vibe to The Acclaimed's theme?

That being said, I was loving the wig she had on. I've been liking the shorter-cut wigs compared to the long-ass stuff she was wearing as Sasha Banks

A lot of people kept expecting Edge to show up at some point. I'm pretty sure I saw somewhere that his contract was extended.

Overall, this was, in all honesty, probably the best wrestling PPV I've ever watched. And, thanks to the invention of VHS tapes in my youth and the WWE Network as an adult, I have seen a *lot* of PPVs. This felt bigger than any Wrestlemania I've watched. I can't compare it to Wrestle Kingdom because I've never actually seen one of those all the way through. But it had numerous people who have been in Wrestle Kingdom matches, which were great.

I'm just annoyed that All Out is next goddamn week, because I don't want to shell out $100 in two weeks for this stuff.

Regardless. I love wrestling. We are in one of the greatest eras of pro wrestling, if not *the* greatest. What a time to be a fan.

[gayhenrycreel]

i really hate how both zionism and antizionism have become so tied to the idea of a state that people have decided you have to support a state to be "on a side".

i dont support any state.

ive seen zionists on this site who are pro palestine (anti israeli GOVERNMENT while still believing that everyone has a right to live in the area, including jewish self determination. ive seen antizionists say the exact same thing.

ive actually never seen a zionist say anything against palestine myself. im not saying it doesn't happen, im saying these words don't have a set definition. ive only seen that kinda zionism from american christians and the israeli government.

antizionists often agree with zionists in everything except title.

i believe people have a right to live where they want, and i think judaism has the right to Jerusalem. i also believe muslims have an equal right to live there too. the states need to dissolve and the people need freedom. we wouldn't kick every non indigenous person out of america, and muslims have lived in the middle east for a very long time, so have a right to live where they have lived for centuries.

so ive seen posts saying this makes me a zionist, while simultaneously other posts say im an antizionist.

but im neither. im an anarchocommunist.

i always support the people, never the state. i dont support the concept of palestine as a state, nor israel. the people of both nations deserve to be free from the tyranny that comes with a state.

zionism and antizionism is a pointless boundary. when i see people claiming that antizionism is antisemitism, i always find that their personal definition of zionism is jewish self determination. and yeah, that is antisemitic to say jews dont deserve to live in their spiritual land.

when antizionists define zionism they say its israel committing genocide, which is totally different.

some zionists are antisemitic and are trying to start the rapture to kill everyone in israel (christian zionism). some antizionists are equally antisemitic and go after jewish people and interrogate them, assuming they want to kill people, even if the victim is openly antizionist.

these are extremes.

a mutual of mine, openly antizionist, says the EXACT same things i see self proclaimed zionists say.

if you wonder how i know this stuff, ive spent over a year considering converting to judaism and i scroll the tag sometimes.

you cant call yourself anti something if you dont learn what the people you oppose believe. their beliefs will always be diverse.

not all anarchists agree either. individualist anarchists are so seperate from my anarchism that its not even the same ideology anymore. but we still call it anarchism.

i genuinely believe this wide spread phenomenon is because people assume they know what The Enemy believes, but, from no fault of their own, people are wrong sometimes, they don't realise that the opposed group is just as diverse as the in-group

so yeah, im not zionist OR antizionist.

im anti state, and pro people, regardless of who they are.

[randomprosho]

On your recent post.

I consider myself pro-para from all I know and I didn't have any disagreements with your post (minus one possible remark*).

All communities are flawed and especially with a group with lots of various mental states so arguments or beliefs won't always be the most rational (such as in the "you have to like me" thing). For a lot of people this is their only place to be honest and open so when there's someone going against them, it's easy to take the "us vs them" mentality like with pretty much other groups. Doesn't make it "right", though. I think some of proparas could improve on more constructive answering, but I can also understand how people can be exhausted and hostile and constantly "on edge" and feel the need to defend their only/one of the only places they feel valuable/cared about.

I've seen your posts a few times and people acting specific ways towards you for being pro-sho, which I mean, yeah I completely agree that you can be pro-sho or otherwise pro-ship (though I find it frustrating and kind of confusing at times) while being anti-para (I of course am pro-para so I find this belief of anti-para to be kind of cruel perhaps is the best wording but proship is only talking about fiction which is different, and I think pro-para anti-ship is the most ridiculous one) and if I had an account and was braver, I might've said something in those conversations.

I also think the "being uncomfortable is absolutely wrong" belief is kind of annoying. I think treating the person as less isn't "right" obviously but blocking/not being comfortable around hearing any sort of content for whatever reason is definitely okay.

I'm also of the opinion that cross tagging when it's not specifically also about proship (such as just a post ONLY talking about desires) is kind of annoying, and yeah you can and should block, but it's better etiquette to tag appropriately in the first place and an understandable concern on both sides.

I write this more to say that I think most anti-paras who lean/are more sort of "neutral" are often just against various community aspects which even pro-paras share. You can call yourself whatever you want, of course. Just some thoughts I had on the matter.

* The things pertaining to being "proud of attractions" as I'm pretty sure a fair percentage of those people are more proud of "living in a world that hates them and surviving" sort of ordeal rather than the specific attraction itself. With constant hate or feeling unsafe, it is pretty normal to become absorbed entirely with it and feel the need to defend / idolize the thing to cope, though. So, I think it should be a case by case basis in my opinion of judging. Never judge someone only by a label, but circumstances regarding themselves and everything else. (Ending quote to sound cool...)

I don't understand when they say I'm being hypocritical. I know schediaphilia is a thing and I understand that there is more to being pro-para than just those certain 3 paraphilias... idk if that's the reason they call me a hypocrite? or is it because they believe lolishocons are pedophiles? (I am genuinely confused)

i have taken a bit of a step back which is why I made that post in the first place. I know that some pro-paras will see that post and think "well that kinda makes you pro-para"... I also do believe that even anti para posts shouldn't be tagged in the proship tag. I try not to do it so often..

for everything else you said, I pretty much do agree with

[clover-the-awesomest]

Vent??? I guess??? Made for socially awkward ppl I think?????

Disclaimer: I'm not diagnosed with social anxiety or anxiety at all, and have adhd instead, and thus I'm just. Terrible at social interactions. This post is made for people who just want an explanation for why they struggle with social interaction and it's also just a way to get my feelings out myself. I'm not trying to assume anything about anyone!

And also, this post is an extension of this reblog:

You don't need to read it, but if you want then sure. Most of the context is in the tags I wrote tho so... Yeah.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you're mentally okay.

I hate being nice sometimes.

Being friends with people who have seen/gone through some fucked up shit or are just mentally insecure is the norm for me. None of my friends are sane. I'm no different, having been basically raised by the internet and mentally neglected in school for a few years. (Not in highschool tho) There are times where I can relate to my friends heavily, and times when I question whether or not they need like 3 therapists. We typically just like to make insensitive and dark-humored jokes via discord though, since my dry sense of humor works well with theirs. It always works out well...

Until I we end up talking about serious issues in life.

Don't get me wrong, I am more than willing to listen to them when they need to vent about something or get any pent-up sadness out there. They listen to me info-dump all the time, so it's only fair I listen to them too. It's just basic human empathy!

However, I'm terrible at just. Talking to people normally. I cannot hold a regular conversation about real life even if it would save me from some kinda imminent danger! I hate having to talk about anything but my hyperfixations because I then just don't know what else to talk about. So when my friends start venting or asking for advice on something, I freeze up.

I overthink. I freak out. I panic. I feel the need to say something, anything to my friend, because they are my friend and they need support! But nothing comes out of my mouth. I stutter, I sputter, I start treating the situation like a college-level math equation because the situation is so goddamn deep and it's all so complicated and then all of a sudden they look at me like they expect me to say something and I can't say anything because my brain can't process what they're talking about and I just don't know how to react and I don't know what to say and if I do say something it'll be along the lines of "I can't relate" or "I'm sorry" or "I don't know what to say about that" and all of those options are so stupid and so rude and will end up ruining our dynamic/relationship because I acted out of line and I didn't do the right thing and I assumed something about their issues and I'm a failure and I'm stupid and I should've kept my mouth shut and I'm gonna lose them forever and I made them feel worse and now I feel worse and-

...

I don't get stressed easily. I'm not level-headed in the slightest, but I don't really freak out about a lot of things. I'm always just indifferent about things.

It's painful for me when I'm stuck in these situations though because I actually start internally freaking out! I never know what to say or do, even with people I've known for years! I'm not in any bad blood with my family. I'm not in desperate need of a therapist. I'm not suicidal and I sure as hell don't have depression. My life is relatively normal compared to all my friends, who all have some sort of physical and/or mental problem, so I never know how to act when they bring up their issues. I internally panic and I beg whatever holy being I feel like worshiping that I find the words, but they never come. So I just end up feeling like a jerk, like we shouldn't be friends and that I'm the worst person in the world.

I know it's all in my head. I know these fears and insecurities are irrational. I know that they probably are glad that I just listened in the first place. But sometimes, it's all just too much.

So in short, I hate being nice sometimes.

I'll be honest, this was all just me venting on fuccin Tumblr of all places, and I do wish I could provide any comforting words for those who feel the same and need to hear something nice. But true to my own words, I just don't have anything to say. I do believe that you, the reader, can get better and I do have hope for others who struggle with social interaction, because it's just a small issue in the grand scheme of things and it doesn't truly matter. For me though? I got nothing. I don't have any hope for me. I'm just doomed to the internet for all of eternity.

All I can say, is that you should keep your head up and not lose hope with these kinds of things. Don't worry about every little syllable, don't stress over every single word. Chances are nobody will give a crap and they'll just be happy that you listened. The worst case scenario is that they'll tell you what you said was insensitive. That's it. Someone's told me that before, and it sucked, but it truly is the worst that can happen, and you'll likely get over it soon. So again, don't worry over every little thing. It's alright, everything's okay, and it will be okay.

You don't have to like being nice all the time.

[seasidewanderers]

exactly!!!

like. I don't understand what the purpose of a DNI even is at this point.

if you don't want to see XYZ content: there are more efficient features, like blocking (important!), filtering tags and posts, unfollowing

if you don't want XYZ near you ever: a DNI is, as you said, an extremely fast ways to attract trolls and malicious people in general. if you have like, transphobes DNI, you WILL be flooded by transphobes who center their whole lives around making the lives of trans people hell. bam, instant gore in DMs or yet another article about a transphobic crime

a DNI is not a deterrent, in fact seeing how syscourse is doing lately, it's more like... shit for flies. aaaaall the flies will be swarming. more shit, more flies.

and I fear this is what people want with a DNI. people on their DNI to interact just because they'd have a reason to be all cranky and blame it on them for "breaking a boundary"

it's also very unreasonable AND UNSAFE to depend on people passing your blog by to read all 42069 lines of text, rentrys, carrds and whatnot with the most detailed personal information you could put put there. your social security number would be safer on the internet than all your lists of negative triggers are

and DNIs are often also a list of negative triggers. the sheer amount of people I've seen spiraling because one (1) person on their DNI interacted with them. if I had a cent for each of them I'd be a millionaire

like. having trauma around a group of people is absolutely valid - all trauma is. it doesn't excuse a) being awful towards all people in that group, b) making it that group's members responsibility so you can just not work on it, and c) TRAUMA DUMPING!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF EVERY GOD OUT THERE STOP TRAUMA DUMPING TO PROVE YOUR POINT!!!! IT'S SHITTY!!!!

pro/anti/endos on the internet aren't anybody's therapist. or abuser. they're just... kinda out there you know. having their blog. eating good lunch I hope. dealing with the summer heat

alright last post about this. DNIs are not a boundary. a boundary is something that when broken will provoke a reaction - "if you keep yelling, I will leave this conversation", that's a boundary. saying "pro/anti/endos talking to me are breaking my boundaries" is just. silly. that's what it is. laughable. y'all learned 3 therapy words and are making it everybody else's problem

DNIs are for your comfort and how you want to curate your Internet experience

and that's important! and people should respect them! but they're not a boundary, and they don't give you a free pass to be an asshole towards the object of your DNI, only to yell harassment when that someone "breaks a boundary" to tell you that you have, in fact, been an asshole

you're not immune to being a little shit. you have to learn to manage your triggers, if you get triggered just by someone talking to you... that's on you. you can't expect everyone else to do the work for you. you don't have to do it by yourself, but you have to do it

and. learn how to have a conversation. learn how to respect people you don't like. learn that a stranger on the internet is not your abuser. it's just tiring, frustrating, and awful for everyone involved

[keister-meister]

What annoys me the most about the "sNaPe wAs an iNcEL hOw dAre yOu sTaN an iNcEL" kind of posts is the assumption that the "Snape is an incel" is the correct, and the only correct, reading of the text. That the conclusion everybody should come to after reading the books is that Severus Snape is nothing more than a gross, creepy misogynist who sees women as objects to possess and control and whose bitterness and negative outlook on life stems from the inability to "get" a woman for himself. (And this is not even taking into account the fact that the issues of real-life incels are much more complicated than this.)

You're obviously entitled to your personal feelings of a character, but I'm encouraging you to consider how much of your reading of a character is influenced by personal bias and experiences, which are not universal – and how much of it is based on what is explicitly written in the text.

Before going on another "I don't get how everyone doesn't hate Snape, he's just a disgusting incel" -tirade, maybe consider that many people have read the books just like you, yet somehow... they do not see Snape as an incel.

It's not that they are ignorant and uninformed about incels and toxic masculinity and in need of being lectured and educated by a more enlightened individual such as yourself.

It's most definitely not that they are incel apologists who condone and support misogyny, or god forbid sympathize with the idea that poor little unfuckable men like Snape deserve to be supplied with sex slaves by the government in order to feel good about themselves.

No.

It's simply because the evidence of Snape being an incel does not exist in the books.

I recently read a book that had the first character I've ever come across who can be read as a contemporary incel based on what is expressed in the text. I'm bringing this up because this character was in many ways very similar to Snape (even up to the physical characteristics) and initially reminded me of him a lot, but what stood out to me was that he was actually, genuinely written as a misogynist and a misanthrope, consumed by the self-pitying, society-blaming victim complex that is the incel calling card. He is practically an unemployable man and a chronic moocher, abandoned by his family for his absolute refusal to take responsibility for himself. He regularly goes on blackpill-esque rants about the Strong Men™ in the Stone Age and what he (or society/nature, according to him) considers to be the rightful "place" of each sex, despite himself being the antithesis to those very ideals. He thinks himself above everything and everyone, rejects seemingly all opportunities for even just a bit of normal engagement in society because he feels entitled to better things than he is offered, and then he blames society for ostracizing him. He has love for nobody, the least of all himself. He is genuinely an abhorrent person who unashamedly and openly expresses sexist and defeatist views of the world and humanity – an unresolvable self-loathing mess beyond all help, yet I can't help pitying him for this reason.

And thinking back at this book, it becomes even more starkly obvious to me how none of this is present in Snape's story. How Snape absolutely fails to compare when measured against an actual incel-type character – in a good way.

Snape exhibits many characteristics that are common in members of the incel community – social isolation, a negative outlook on the world, depression, self-loathing, a victim complex or a feeling of being persecuted, a tendency to blame others, feelings of helplessness, bitterness, spitefulness, lack of self-care, obsessiveness, idealization of loved ones, poor social skills, revenge fantasies... the list goes on and on.

Yet there are many other people and even groups of people, who exhibit those same characteristics but are not incels. If anything, these traits are pretty common in different kinds of social outcasts and people with adverse life experiences – and in no way enough to identify someone as an incel.

Looking strictly at what is actually written in the books, do you see Snape express even one single view that is specific to the incel ideology?

Do you ever see Snape supporting male supremacy, or enforcing strict, oppressive gender roles? Do you ever see him express sexist bias that is not in line with the author's own? Do you see him expressing entitlement for what he does not have (and it's important to differentiate desire and entitlement – entitlement implies the feeling of being owed)? Do you see any proof of him believing that a woman's place is to service him? That women should not be allowed to have their own thoughts, feelings and ambitions but be forced to solely live for the pleasure and affirmation of men? For all you accuse him of moaning and whining about being single and not getting to have sex with Lily, do you actually ever see him do that in the text?

Or could it possibly be that you are simply imagining things that aren't there?

For once, I feel like urging everyone to put Harry Potter down for a moment and read another book – and preferably seek out those with an actual portrayal of an incel/misogynist. Might give you some new perspective – and if not, then at least a new fictional scapegoat to vent about.