#not tagging every character bc duh

[honeybeebuddy]

SLMAU sketches!!! i love this au, and im really getting back into the swing of making content for it :D hope yall enjoy my ko-fi slmau discord

[chryblossomjjk]

the weekend | jjk

⇢ PAIRING: dilf!jk x babysitter reader

⇢ RATING/GENRE: m/18+ | fwb, sm*t, angst

⇢ WC: 13.8k

⇢ WARNINGS: alright boyz strap in bc it's a doozy lmao, protected s*x, multiple org*sms (m & f), or*l s*x (m receiving), face f*ck, f*ngering, rough s*x, face slapping, sp*nking, exh*bitionism, sir k*nk, t*tty f*ck, t*tty sucking (duh), body piercings (n*pples), age gap (reader is 23 and jk is like 30), infid*lity (reader is the other woman), ch*king, overst*mulation, sp*tting, man handling, finger s*cking, d*m jk, brief mentions of past add*ction, implied passing of a bby (mainly subtext w no details given), maybe unrequited love, maybe not (EVIL CACKLE), some dark thoughts discussed (nothing too graphic or detailed), fighting n yelling n crying yikes, all of these characters are v flawed (except for yul duh), cute bby moments!!, oc is v immature n naive n contradicts herself a lot, she maybe has a thing for older guys bc of that, some bl*od (just a scrape on the knee but ik bl*od can be triggering), this relationship is extremely toxic and not meant to be desired!!!, one homage to trixie mattel lmao

⇢ SUMMARY: every weekend, you give jungkook a little taste of something he’s missing monday through friday.

⇢ NOTES: so after months and months of planning this fic (i literally posted the teaser in JANUARY UM??), it's finally here. i think this is my fav thing i've written thus far and i worked v hard on this! would love to know ur thoughts, feedback is always appreciated!! ty @/taegularities for betaing!! (for whatever reason, this fic refuses to show up in tags n it sucks n nothing i do fixes it so i shall leave it be lol)

You can't tell what’s louder—the crunch of dewy, end-of-summer grass pricking the soft skin of your thighs like angry thorns, or the cracking of bones as your body thumps to the ground from your bedroom window. 

“Ah-” the whine is quickly stifled by a sharp hiss as you remember your dad’s sleeping figure is just behind the wall next to you. “Ouch,” you whimper, praying that the crash hasn’t reached his watchful ears. Carefully, you climb to your feet, brushing the dirt off your bare legs. You spot a fresh crimson scrape on your knee.

Fucking great. 

Finally, after days of longing and waiting, the weekend has arrived. Today, in particular, is a fantastic day. You were trying to look sexy, and blood isn't exactly the sexiest accessory. Bringing your wrist up to your nose, you inhale the candy-scented liquid you had doused yourself in before leaving. 

Perfume still in check, thank fuck.

Goosebumps form on your skin as you take long, dutiful strides, cool night mist gliding through the thin material of your long silk shirt. You’ve committed this path to memory—out the window, usually in a more graceful manner, through the neighbor’s yard, and then straight down the sidewalk to the black Mercedes Benz waiting for you at the end of the road. 

If you hadn’t done this a million and one times already, you might’ve missed the vehicle, so dark that it blends into the night seamlessly. You can’t help but wonder if that’s his goal entirely. 

Still, the excitement of it all makes you walk a little faster. 

“Hey, Jungkook,” you smile as you slide into his black leather passenger seat, leaning over the center console to give his cheek a gentle peck. Maybe you’ve overstepped a boundary and muddied the lines in the sand of your… relationship, but you can’t help yourself. Seeing Jungkook was always a treat, one you looked forward to every Friday night for the past five months.

“Hi,” he says impassively, eyes darting over your figure. A loose strand of hair dangles in front of his eyes, teasing you. “You’re wearing makeup?”

“Oh, um…” You’re at a loss for words; surprised he noticed such a slight change in your appearance. Although his perceptiveness was something you noted shortly after you began working for him, you can’t help but feel flustered. “Yeah, I… wanted to look nice tonight. Totally busted my ass climbing out the window,” you laugh.

“Did you get hurt?” His straight brows furrow slightly, silver piercing reflecting the moonlight. 

“Just a scratch.” You lift your leg to show him the red mark on your knee. “Didn’t break anything, though, so that’s a plus.”

Wordlessly, Jungkook reaches over, popping open the glove compartment before you and pulling out the first aid kit he keeps there for emergencies. The scent of clean linen wafts over you from his daily cologne. His scent. Only his. You try your best to subdue the possessive smirk forming. “You should be more careful.”

“I’m okay.”

“Be more careful,” he commands, peering up at you with an icy gaze. “Got it?”

Whether it’s the seven-year age gap between the two of you or the tone of his voice, you know better than to argue. “Yes,” you wince as he rubs Neosporin onto the open wound. “Besides, I wouldn’t have gotten hurt if my dad wasn’t so… overprotective.”

“Well,” he continues, sticking a pink Baby Shark bandaid to your skin before putting the box back, “as a father, I understand.”

“Yul is two, though,” you laugh, “I’m in my twenties.”

“Being in your early twenties hardly makes you an adult,” he mutters. "Besides, it doesn't matter. The need to protect your children always stays the same.”

“Poor Bunny,” you pout jokingly as you click your seatbelt on. “She’s going to be just like me when she’s older. Sneaking out of a window to see a boy because her daddy is a big grizzly bear.”

The comment has his nose twitching in irritation. “I’m done with this conversation, __.”

You freeze. Have you struck a nerve?

“Jungkook, I’m sorry,” you peep. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Stop.” His voice is flat, but your heart thumps. “It’s fine.”

All the excitement you feel suddenly morphs into an uncomfortable ache as you slump into your seat. It’s different than it was last weekend, positioned much closer to the dashboard than you would ever put it. There’s a claustrophobic sting in your chest as you realize someone else has been in this very spot. 

You know they have, and you know who. 

The deafening sound of the bulky silver band on his finger, tapping against the steering wheel as he begins driving to the hotel you frequent, is a sick reminder.

You swear there’s even a musky floral scent lingering in the air. Deeper and more mature than yours. It could be paranoia, or guilt, making you imagine things. Still, you hope your perfume finds its way into every fiber of his leather seats. 

“How was your day?” Jungkook asks, interrupting any rational thought or doubt, luring you back into the vicious cycle. 

“A bit stressful,” you sigh. “I applied for school today.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, pretty sure I messed up on the financial aid paperwork, though. It was super confusing; I didn’t understand any of it.”

“You should’ve brought it over. I could’ve helped you.” 

Jungkook does have a master’s degree in finance. He could’ve been your Rosetta Stone, helping you decipher convoluted questions about taxes and deductions. However, you weren’t sure how he would’ve reacted to you pulling out your laptop post-sex, asking for assistance on something completely unrelated to your normal routine. “That’s not the type of thing we usually do when we’re together,” you shrug, “you know?”

Your response has him shifting in his spot, pierced bottom lip curling inwards like the words made him queasy. He was the one who encouraged you to go back to school in the first place. “I wouldn’t have minded,” Jungkook mumbles before quickly redirecting the dialogue, something he does whenever he’s frustrated or uncomfortable. “So, what’s the special occasion?” 

“Huh?” 

“What’s got you all dolled up?”

Oh, right. That special occasion. The one you’ve been anticipating since you were made aware of its existence. 

“Happy three years sober!” You announce with a cheesy smile, throwing your arms up eagerly. 

“Ah,” he huffs in recognition. His eyes are fixed on the road, but there’s the tiniest hint of a smirk on his face. Success. It takes everything in you not to physically rejoice. “I’m surprised you remembered.”

“What do you mean?” You ask with a pout. “How could I forget?”

“I don’t know.” Just like that, the flicker of happiness wisps away like a flame in the wind as his expression turns emotionless and stoic again. “It’s not really a big deal.”

You frown. Must he always be so… cold? 

‘It’s okay to smile; you deserve it,’ is what you want to tell him. It's not your place, though. You opt for: “It’s a huge deal, Jungkook,” instead. Reaching over, you gently tuck the stray strand of hair behind his decorated ear. 

A somber aura hangs around him like a dark, dreary rain cloud, and in moments like this, when it’s so visible, you just… need to touch him.

It’s stupid to think that you’re the special one; that you’ll be the girl to turn the rain into a rainbow and save him from himself, but you can’t refrain from trying. 

“Did you celebrate?”

He shakes his head. “Went to work.” 

You can tell from his outfit—a sleek black blazer resting neatly on top of an even darker button-up and tie. His long hair is slicked back, but gravity, and his ten-hour long shift took their toll, making the strands hang slack, short undercut peaking through. He looks so incredibly sexy. Maybe, you can comfort him in the only way you know how…

“Well, there’s still time.” You point to the clock on his touchscreen stereo: 11:12 p.m. You throw your hair over your shoulder before slowly undoing the top two buttons of your shirt, revealing the skimpy black lingerie set you splurged on just for tonight. Just for him. “We can celebrate…”

“Yeah?” His cheek bubbles, tongue poking at the inside of his mouth, eyebrow jumping at your suggestion. “How so?”

You bite your lip, contemplating your next move. Hastily, you unbuckle your seatbelt and lean over the center console. It’s reckless, but so is being with a man like Jungkook. When you finally get to have him the way you want, you’re incapable of rationality. 

One night of him isn’t enough. What kind of tease is that? You need at least six more to be satisfied…

“__,” he warns, arching his head away from your sneaky lips.  “Put your seatbelt on. Wait until we get to the hotel.”

“Where’s the fun in that, though?” You pout, cupping his cheek in your hand and batting your eyelashes innocently. Jungkook doesn’t take the bait, giving the desolate road ahead his unwavering attention. Despite his nonchalant demeanor, you can tell you’re getting to him. Below you, his slacks tighten around his thick, tensed thighs. He’s playing right into your hands. Needily, you tongue the little silver hoops dangling from his ear. 

“If I have to pull over, you’re in trouble.”

“Maybe I-”

A hushed ‘fuck’ cuts you off as the car comes to a screeching halt. Jungkook slams on the brakes, coming too close to the slower vehicle in front of you for comfort. Luckily, his dad reflexes kick in. His strong hand grips your waist tightly, preventing you from barreling forward. You brace yourself by clutching his shoulders, and when the adrenaline rush fades, you finally look at him. His nostrils are flared, and his jaw is clenched painfully tight. He’s pissed. 

You know you should apologize, or be a little shaken up, but the blinking of the turn signal as he pulls to the side of the dark highway has your mouth watering. This is just what you wanted. 

Jungkook sighs in frustration, tilting his head back against the headrest. The movement is counterintuitive, exposing the inked canvas of his neck that you’re desperate to paint red and purple. 

A hand fists your tangled hair, pulling you off with a harsh yank before you have the chance to sink your teeth in. The silver ring on his finger digs into your scalp like a knife. “Do not fucking mark me.”

The feeling of the frigid metal is agonizing. Not physically—his grip loosens immediately after the initial tug—but emotionally. You know why he doesn’t want you to mark him. Any evidence of you, other than your weekly babysitting duties, would unravel the entire life he’s built for himself. 

Jungkook is an intelligent man, though. You don’t have to tell him that it’s all a façade, and everything’s already been undone. 

“I’m sorry.” Your voice comes out frail and shaky. “I just want you.”

And like some cruel joke, his phone rings. 

The contact image would typically make you swoon. It’s a picture of him and his daughter from her first birthday party; her sticky, strawberry ice cream covered hands holding his cheeks as he stares at her with scrunched eyes and a big smile. You think that picture is the only time you’ve ever seen him genuinely happy.

The bold, white font at the top of the screen makes you sick to your stomach. 

‘Wife.’

Jungkook releases your hair and places a finger over his mouth, signaling you to shut up,  before answering. 

“Yes, Seulgi?”

“Your daughter would like to speak to you.” 

Her voice makes you want to curl into yourself. Whenever you talk to Seulgi regarding Yul, you’re able to compartmentalize and detach that part of yourself from this one. The one that’s sleeping with her husband. Hearing her in this compromised setting makes you feel absolutely repulsive. 

After some rustling and tiny sniffles, Yul answers. “Da-” She only manages a syllable before breaking into a cry-induced coughing fit. You cringe, poor Bunny. “Daddy!”

“What’s wrong with my baby?”

You don’t mean to giggle, especially when the little girl you’ve grown to love so much is clearly distressed, but the intimidating, grumpy, tattooed businessman beside you, talking in full-on pout, tickles your brain just right.

“I don’t wanna sleep alone!” Yul screeches in the most anguished, high-pitched tone.

“Bunny…” With the way his hands scrub down his face, you can tell the tears on the other end are physically affecting him. “Take a deep breath, please.”

There’s a shaky inhale, and a sad whine of an exhale as she tries to steady her respirations.

“Thank you, good job,” he affirms. “Yul, daddy is…” Dark pupils flicker over to you, his face scowled to match. He eyes you like you’re an annoying stain on his leather seat. A dirty little secret that’s keeping him from his daughter. The gesture sends a dagger through your chest. Usually, Jungkook tells his wife he’s working overtime, but he can’t bring himself to lie to his only daughter. “Busy.”

“B-B-But.” The wails have simmered down to a blubber. “Scared.”

“You have mommy, though, don’t you?” He counters exasperatedly, cogs turning at maximum speed to conjure up a solution. “And Ruru?”

Yul is a persistent girl. You’ve seen the two-and-a-half-year-old deadpan Jungkook with a ‘you can have them, then,’ when he tried to convince her that vegetables were delicious and totally not an abomination to tastebuds. “Jeon Ruru is scared, too.”

After a few months of dedication and trust building, Yul finally initiated you into her inner circle of squishmallows, all of which shared the surname, Jeon, followed by whatever random title her baby brain bestowed them. Jeon Ruru, a glass of strawberry milk, was her favorite. You coo in remembrance. 

“What about Ado?” Jungkook suggests, exhausting all his options.

“Ado?” She peeps curiously, and you can almost see her doe eyes scanning the room for her runner-up, an avocado squishmallow you gifted her. “Ado’s sleepin’.”

“Can you go get him?”

There’s a long pause of contemplation before the pitter-patter of tiny feet on wood fills the speakers. “Jeon Ado!” She calls out, voice becoming distant as she runs to her bedroom, “daddy wantsa’ talk to you!” You make out a quiet ‘I’ll tuck you in’ when Seulgi helps her to bed. “Okay,” Yul huffs, breathless from her scurry down the long corridor, “he’s here.”

“Jeon Ado.” You rarely see this side of him, and it takes all of your strength to suppress the smile that’s creeping up. “Can you keep Yul safe while I’m away?” He even leans forward a bit, turning his ear towards the speaker as if he’s actually waiting for the stuffed avocado to answer, subconsciously playing along with his daughter despite being miles apart. The scene puts your overwhelmingly sweet perfume to shame. “Uh, Yul, he said yes. So can you sleep in your big girl bed tonight?”

Reluctantly, Yul grumbles in agreement.

“Alright baby, goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” 

Again, she answers with a little grunt and a yawn.

“I love you.”

“Love youuu!” She extends the vowel for emphasis.

“I love you more.”

There’s a beat of silence before the sleepy girl simply responds ‘yep,’ not even attempting to argue. He glances at you, this time with a wholesome smile, eyes warm with burning stars. It’s moments like this that keep you hooked, you think. Like always, the feeling is short-lived. When Seulgi mumbles a sweet goodnight to her daughter, their daughter, you’re reminded that you shouldn’t even be observing this domestic interaction. 

“You know,” the man begins, turning his attention to his wife, “if you had given her a warm bottle, she would’ve gone down without a hitch.” 

“Jungkook, she’s too old for a bottle.” And just like that, the fire between them ignites. You’ve never actually witnessed the pair fighting, only felt the uncomfortable heat between them in passing. “And she’s too old to be co-sleeping. She never had an issue sleeping alone beforehand.”

“Alright,” he asserts, “if Yul’s okay, then we’re done here.”

“Don’t you think it’s a little unfair?” Despite his warning, she continues. “Getting her used to sleeping with you and then not being here?”

There were many things about having a daughter that Jungkook wasn’t prepared for.

It’s not that he didn’t do his research, and Yul certainly wasn’t an accident. He had wanted her more than anything. Especially after the… 

Incident.

A baby-sized hole was left in Jungkook’s chest. Every day, it grew bigger and bigger until, eventually, that bitter emptiness would’ve swallowed him alive. 

Jungkook needed Yul. 

Still, there were certain things that parenting books and videos hadn’t warned him about, like the worry in his stomach whenever his daughter refuses her lunch, or the ache in his heart when he drops her off at daycare and she watches him leave through the window with a sad wave and tears rolling down her cheeks as if he’s just abandoned her forever. As if he or his wife aren’t going to pick her up in a mere four hours like they do every Tuesday and Thursday. His readings haven’t prepared him for the even stronger ache that consumes his entire body whenever he leaves for work too early and comes home too late, with barely any time to spend with his favorite person in the world.  

Before Yul was even born, Jungkook and Seulgi had decided that co-sleeping was out of the question. Their room was for them, and he stood firm on that principle for a while. However, as time passed, their room became Seulgi’s, and the empty bedroom downstairs became his. 

Jungkook couldn’t stand that room. 

One night, after a particularly grueling shift, Jungkook trudges up the stairs for a late shower. Without finance talk or Yul’s babbles, he’s left to his own thoughts. Usually, under the scalding water, he wondered how his life turned out this way, or more so, why? This time, Jungkook wonders if there is even a reason to keep going at all.

He catches his reflection while brushing his teeth. His eyes are dark, cold, distant. Those same eyes belong to his daughter, but all he sees when looking into hers is love, innocence, and everything good in life. 

Maybe, just maybe, there’s hope for him. 

Taking a detour to Yul’s room, Jungkook does his best to quietly tip-toe around squishmallows and discarded markers. Underneath the pink blanket is a little ball of fluffy black hair. She’s got her thumb in her mouth—a bad habit he and Seulgi had been trying to nip in the bud—with her chubby cheeks squished against her pillow. There were few things he hated more than waking her up, especially when she was sleeping so peacefully, but for whatever reason, he couldn’t stop himself. 

Tiny, confused cries fill the room as Jungkook scoops her up. 

“Shh,” he hushes, smoothing his palm over her onesie-clad back. “It’s just me.”

“Da- ddy?” Immediately, she relaxes at the familiar sound of his voice, words slurred as she rubs the sleep out of her eyes with a little fist before peering up at him with big marble eyes. 

“How was daycare, Bunny?” 

“Scared,” she whimpers, slumping into his chest for comfort. “Scaredy cat.”

“Scaredy cat?” Jungkook repeats, trying to make sense of the phrase. “Who’s a scaredy cat?”

“Jeon Yul.” 

Typically, Jungkook finds it adorable when Yul refers to herself in the third person. The way she says it this time makes him frown. “Jeon Yul is not a scaredy cat. Jeon Yul is a baby, that’s all.” Realizing that she’d probably heard the unfavorable title at daycare, his chest tightens. With a heavy sigh, he rests his chin on top of her round head, swaying back and forth. Her hair smells like green apples from her baby soap. “Why were you scared, sweetheart?”

“No color…” 

On his lunch break, Seulgi informed him that she was picking Yul up early. In an attempt to encourage her to engage with other children, the teacher took away Yul’s crayons, sending her into a full-blown tantrum. Jungkook knew his daughter well, a spitting image of him in every capacity. The crayons weren’t the problem; it was that crippling shyness that made her afraid of socializing with nearly anyone other than you and her parents.

Her back ripples with tiny hiccups as she recounts the events. Jungkook decides it’s best to change the subject, not wanting to upset his two-year-old anymore—especially this late at night. 

“Guess what?”

Yul grunts an inquisitive noise.

“Daddy got you Baby Shark coloring books.”

Her wispy bedhead bounces as she glances side to side, inspecting her room for any sign of new Pinkfong merchandise. Jungkook was genuinely amazed at her ability to keep track of it all, considering how much he and his wife loved to spoil her rotten. However, the word ‘rotten’ doesn’t even come close to describing his baby. “Where?”

“In my car,” he laughs, slicking her choppy bangs out of her eyes. “We’ll color tomorrow., okay?”

“I like Baby Shark,” Yul says, completely ignoring his question. The teeniest, tiniest, most precious yawn slips out, two little front teeth on full display before her lips smack together sleepily. Truly living up to her nickname.

“I know you do.” He’s still rocking her gently, buying some time before she falls back into sleep’s arms and out of his. “I missed you so much today.” 

“Why?”

As of late, ‘why’ seems to be Yul’s favorite word. 

Why is the sky blue?

Why do vegetables taste yucky?

Why is daddy’s nose so big?

He’d be lying if he said that last, brutally honest question hadn’t caught him off guard when she first uttered it on his hip at the grocery store. 

“Because I love you.” It’s the most effortless sentence he’s ever spoken. The most natural feeling he’s ever felt.

“Why?” 

“Because,” his eye roll is disconnected from his growing smile, “you’re so cute!” If they weren’t enclosed by the four pink walls of Yul’s bedroom, Jungkook would be embarrassed at the squeakiness of his usual monotone voice. Leaning down, Jungkook blows a raspberry against her doughy cheek, a tried and true method of making her laugh. “Do you want to sleep in my room?”

It’s against his better judgment and the ground rules he had agreed to, but he just… really needs to spend time with her tonight. The small nod against his chest seals the deal. Before he gets to the door, Yul stops him with an exaggerated gasp.

“Daddy, Ruru!”

“Ruru?” 

She grunts, frustrated at her father’s confusion, frantically pointing at her partner in crime, the strawberry milk squishmallow lying neatly underneath her comforter. Just how she left it.

“Yul,” Jungkook starts, taking a few steps backward and bending at the waist, allowing her to take the oversized stuffie into her arms. “Isn’t this Mimi?” As far as Jungkook knows, the pink milk carton with a face had always been Mimi; a name Yul had dubbed it since he brought it home a couple months back.

“Ruru,” she states affirmatively. 

And ever since then, Yul’s been a co-sleeper. 

Jungkook prided himself on knowing his daughter like the back of his tattooed hand. Whether it’s a sixth sense, some innate father’s instinct that the parenting videos mentioned, or his own attention to detail, he could read her like a book. However, sharing a bed with the tiny human taught him something he had been blissfully unaware of:

Yul sleeps wild. 

More often than not, Jungkook was awoken by a tiny foot kicking his back, or by his own reflexes as he was somehow pushed to the very corner of the bed by his twenty-pound baby. There were even a few times when a harsh tug on his hair acted as an alarm clock. When he turned around to confront the culprit, however, she was fast asleep, arm slung over one of the many squishmallows that had worked their way into his room. 

Having her with him was worth all bald spots and bruises, though. It’s bad, he knows it, and night by night, Yul becomes more attached. Getting her acclimated to daycare had been hell, to say the least. He knows co-sleeping has possibly made her more reluctant to socialize than she already was. 

Still, Jungkook can’t help but wonder who’s more dependent on the other. When he thinks about it, undoubtedly, the answer is him. Because as long as he wakes up to a little foot in his back, a fist in his hair, and the smell of green apple baby soap, he has a reason to keep going. 

“Don’t you think she deserves better?”

Her sharp words swipe through the air like a blade. Even you feel the cut, cautiously eyeing Jungkook. You can’t read his expression, but something about it makes you rub a comforting hand over his shoulder. He doesn’t react to your touch at all.

There’s a sullen pause before he finally answers. “I think Yul deserves everything.”

“Right… Goodnight, Jungkook.” She hangs up before he has the chance to respond. Seulgi always struck you as a level-headed person, albeit a bit aloof, but never unfair or cruel. You assume she’s just being spiteful, because anyone who knows Jungkook would never question his dedication to his daughter. That ugly, bitter, jealous side of you thinks maybe she just doesn’t know him the way you do. 

“Are you okay?” You whisper as if approaching a wounded animal, ready to attack. 

“On Fridays,” he starts, eyes shamefully dropping to his fidgeting hands. “Yul spends the day with my parents.”

His incessant need to defend his parenting makes your heart ache. “Hey, I-”

“She’s usually asleep by the time I leave work.” 

“Kook,” you interrupt his rambling. “You don’t have to explain; I understand... I think you’re an amazing father.”

Lifting his head, Jungkook looks you directly in the eyes. His are glassy and gentle now, but the fingers that hook into your lace bra, right between the cups, are rough and abrasive. “C’mere,” he gruffs, pulling you over the center console until you’re uncomfortably sandwiched between his solid chest and the steering wheel. There’s no effort to make room for you; he doesn’t slide his seat back. He doesn’t compromise any of his space for you. You accept it, steadying yourself on his shoulders with a grunt. 

Sometimes, you question what your presence in his life truly is. Are you an escape or a punching bag? Are you merely something he can sink his nails and teeth into when angry? Something he can break without consequence? The sound of thread ripping and buttons popping fills the car as he slides the silk off your shoulders, letting the delicate material fall to the floor without a care in the world.

“You wore this for me?” A fingertip lightly traces the petite swell of your breasts, barely bulging over the frilly black cups of your push-up. The sensation sets your skin ablaze.

“Mhm,” you confirm, “I wanted today to be special.”

“You care about me?” Moonlight cuts through the dewy window, beaming against the side of his face, highlighting the taut pull in his features. His question seems genuine, but the answer is obvious, isn’t it? Simply being here with him makes the entire foundation of your soul, all of your morals and beliefs, crumble to pieces. Against your better judgment, you’re still here. 

Yearning. Trying. Fighting.

You swipe a thumb over his thick brows, trying to ease the angry crinkle that’s become a permanent fixture on his beautiful face. You comb through his hair. It’s a little knotted, a little crunchy from old gel. 

The answer should be obvious, but you don’t think Jungkook could internalize love if it was right in front of him.

“I care about you,” you say truthfully, “a lot.”

The stars in his eyes gleam for a moment, glowing bright and vibrant, before they’re engulfed by the suffocating blackness of his pupils. 

“You poor thing,” Jungkook tuts, trailing his fingers up your neck before grasping your jaw with a single hand. The baby fat of your cheeks mushes together from the force. “You're gonna let me do whatever I want to you, aren't you?”

The tone of his voice has your heart fluttering and your stomach churning with thick hot desire. Gripping his wrist with both hands, you moan out a ‘yes,’ unconsciously grinding down onto his slack-covered bulge. He’s barely touched you yet and your cunt is leaking, making a mess of your itty bitty thong and his work suit. 

“Right, of course.” With the same hand holding you, Jungkook taps his index finger against your glossy pout, “open.” Just barely parting your lips, you let the thick digit slide between them. Immediately, he presses down against your tongue, trying to coax a gag out of you. “What if I want to fuck this pretty little mouth until you cry? How does that sound? Would you like that?”

Inhaling deeply, you nod. That sounds absolutely perfect.

“I don’t know if you can handle it, though,” he lulls, retracting his finger before plunging it back in, all the up to his inked knuckle. You squint in defiance. He’s teasing, but you can’t fight the tinge of anger in your chest. If there’s one thing you can do, it’s suck a mean dick. Looking him directly in the eyes, you swirl your tongue against his palm with ease, not choking once. You feel his cock twitch against the supple flesh of your inner thigh. 

Unamused by your antics, Jungkook yanks his hand back angrily, making a string of saliva drip down your chin. Maybe a full face of makeup wasn’t the best idea. “Get in the backseat,” he orders huskily, wiping the damp skin on his blazer. Biting back a smirk, you climb off his lap and wriggle over the center console. You situate yourself on the cool leather, laying down and assuming face-fuck position. 

The yellow glow of headlights swims across the ceiling as a passing car drifts down the misty highway. This is the first time in five months that you and Jungkook are out in the open, blissfully oblivious to the possibility of getting caught. It’s childish, but you hope someone sees. For a moment in time—in a wandering eye’s glimpse of reality—you’re his and he's yours.

“Couldn’t wait until we got to the hotel, huh?” Jungkook huffs when he opens the door. Giddily, you lean your head back over the edge of the seat, coming face to face with the tent in his pants. His hands frantically work to unbuckle his belt, desperate to bury himself inside of you. His favorite escape. “Well, since you want to act like a fucking whore-” his pants fall to his knees with a clang when he unbuttons them, “-I’ll treat you like one.”

“Please,” you whimper, noting the wet spot on his gray Calvin Kleins. Reaching up, you lightly drag your nails across it, teasingly pinching the head of his cock before he tugs his boxers down. A big greedy smile spreads across your face as his semi springs out. 

The sight makes your lips part. It’s so pretty. Something about how the moonlight catches the glowy pink tip, peeking out from under his foreskin. The light accentuates every ridge and vein on his girthy shaft. So yummy it has you drooling-

Jungkook’s right. You’re a complete and utter whore.

“Is this what you wanted?” He peers down at you over his prominent nose, one hand clutching the roof of his Mercedes. The other wraps around his thick shaft, giving it a few languid pumps, getting himself fully erect for you. Teasingly, he taps the head against your plump lips. Unable to resist, you press a sweet peck and a kitten lick to his silky frenulum. “Uh-uh,” he chuckles, raising his delicious cock just beyond your reach. “You know better than that. Ask for permission.”

“Wanna suck it,” you pout, squirming impatiently. “Please?”

Suddenly, his heavy cock slaps your cheek with a wet thud.

“Please, what?”

“Please, sir?”

“Good girl.” The praise is contradicted by another light smack to your face, this time with an open palm. Taking the hint, you open your mouth wide, tongue sticking out in anticipation. Jungkook watches you intently with furrowed brows and a slack jaw as he feeds you the first few inches. As soon as the salty flavor of his arousal hits your tastebuds, you moan obnoxiously, back arching off the leather beneath you. 

He starts slowly, using your breathing to guide his movements—pausing on the exhales and giving you a bit more on the inhales. He does this until the entirety of his length is shoved down your warm, wet mouth. 

The hem of his black dress shirt flows over you, obstructing his view. He places it between his teeth with an annoyed groan, wanting to watch the swell in your neck as you swallow him like a snake. “You take it so well,” he grunts over the material, “the best I’ve ever had.”

Tears clinging to your lashes finally lose grip, trickling down your skin until they get lost in the thick, dark swoops of your dangling hair. For once, you mean something more to him than she does. It’s insignificant and shameful, but at least it's something.

“Are you okay, __?” Jungkook asks, sensing the shift as your soul splays before him like your half-naked body. Stepping back, he gives you some reprieve.

With red eyes and drool bubbling at the corners of your lips, you moan out an implied ‘yes.’ His confession has you on cloud nine.

“Do you remember the sign?”

Again, you hum. 

“Can you show me?”

Lazily, you tap his outer thigh three times, a hard ‘stop’ symbol you had agreed upon months ago while hanging off the edge of a hotel bed, preparing for Jungkook to fuck your mouth for the very first time. 

“Good girl,” he says before rutting his entire length into you again. He’s so deep that the soft skin of his scrotum nudges against the tip of your nose, and the dense patch of trimmed hair on his pubic bone tickles your chin. Reaching down, Jungkook grips your neck, reveling in the feeling of it stretching against his palm as he moves in and out steadily. 

Eventually, he hunches over, hands wandering down and holding your temples for better leverage. Despite the harsh digs of his hips, his delicate fingers brush away a few strands of hair stuck to your damp cheeks. The sweet gesture makes you whimper around him in pure ecstasy, moving your head to meet his thrusts for extra stimulation, circling your flat tongue around the base. 

The whistles of the midnight breeze and the murmur of passing cars fade, and all you hear is Jungkook. The melodic, venomous praises pouring out of him poison your mind with optimism. He takes one last plunge, so powerful it sends you sliding back against the seat. To steady yourself, you grip his legs, attempting to ease your triggered gag reflex. He holds you there, cock stuffed to the brim as he slams a hand against the black steel of his car, shirt falling from his teeth as he moans ardently. You gasp when he finally pulls out, leaking tip still connected to you by a bridge of spit and precum.

“Why-” Cough. “Why did you stop?” 

Your question is met with only the sound of rustling fabric and the chime of his hanging belt buckle as he removes his suit jacket and throws it into the passenger seat. Grabbing you by the band of your lingerie, Jungkook hauls your frame closer.

He snaps your taut bra strap against your shoulder with a single finger. “Take this off.”

“O-Okay,” you stutter, still trying to catch your breath as you sit up at the waist and unclip your bra. A shiver runs down your spine as the cool night air licks your exposed chest. This time when you lie down, you’re positioned under his spread legs. He stands over you with such authority and dominance. The underside view of his hard cock looks absolutely menacing. 

“These,” Jungkook’s large palms grab at your tits, jiggling them, “I wanna fuck ‘em.”

“There isn’t anything for you to fuck,” you giggle. 

After years of insecurity, and crying over vengeful comments from dumb boys you had broken things off with, you finally came to terms with your appearance. Your tits are small, and that’s okay. Plus, the cute little nipple piercings you had gotten a while back were definitely a confidence booster. There wasn’t an ounce of self-hatred in your comment.

Jungkook doesn’t take it that way, though.

“Shut up.” With a huff, he steps back and hunches, reaching down to deliver a harsh swat to your cheek. It was a little rougher than usual, and you wince upon impact. Instantly, he soothes the skin with a gentle pet. “Your tits are… perfect.”

Perfect? Your cheeks and aching pussy heat up at the compliment.

Squeezing your chest, Jungkook brushes his thumbs over your pebbled nipples. He pays extra attention to the silver barbells, decorated with little sparkly peaches at the ends. “These are new,” he notes, tugging on the jewelry. You let out a breathy moan, legs clenching together, inner thighs embarrassingly wet. “Sheesh,” he laughs, “someone’s sensitive.”

“Yeah… keep going.”

“I like them. They’re cute on you.”

Throughout your acquaintances, Jungkook was rarely this vocal. Maybe some praise sprinkled in here and there, but seldom anything substantial. Tonight, however, he’s been dishing out sweet talk like candy. You can’t pinpoint precisely what, but something’s changed.

Whatever it is, it fills you with awful, wishful hope.

Jungkook shuffles closer, teasing the teat of your pierced bud with his sticky tip. The dreamy sensation has your eyes rolling back into your skull. A glob of spit drops between the valley of your breasts before he spreads the wetness over your skin with his shaft. He has to use a death grip to force your tits into a soft plushness, perfect for him to slot himself into. Again, you feel that fucking ring embedding itself into your skin like a nasty tick. 

Cautiously, he guides his pulsing cock between your constrained breasts. A beautiful symphony of groans lulls out as he throws his head back in pleasure, long locks dancing along his clammy neck. 

“You like that?” You hum, taunting him. “Tell me how it feels.”

It takes him a minute to collect his thoughts, eyes trained on your tits pillowing around him, focusing on the dewy sheen of your nipples and chest as his oozing cock spills onto your skin. “It feels-” his hips stutter, “-so fucking good.”

The way his teeth snarl around the hushed curse makes you smile, eyes closing as you relish in his pleasure. Maybe you’re too horny, or perhaps the blood rushing to your head from being upside down for so long is making you crazy, but you wish you could live in this moment forever. Wallowing in the darkness, frozen in time with him. Yeah, you think, that would be wonderful.

“You can touch yourself,” he comments, spotting your clenched legs, desperate for some pressure. 

“S’okay,” you mumble, reaching around to caress his balls. His thighs tremble a bit against your arms. “Just wanna make you feel good.”

“Can you-” he grunts, stomach clenching as he begins to feel that familiar pooling in the base of his thick shaft. “Hold them for me. I’ll take care of you after, just- let me cum.”

Obliging, you replace his hands with your own, squishing your tits together for him. The visual of you lying under him, complacent and willing, sends him spiraling. A guttural roar echoes throughout the empty road as he speeds up. “Tighter,” he orders; you listen. The saliva and precum are beginning to rub off, making the friction of his chaotic thrusts sting your skin. He notices, letting another string of spit fall from his mouth onto your flesh. “Be good and take it. I’m almost there.”

By now, Jungkook should know you’d endure any pain to be with him. 

The darkest parts of your brain tell you he’s well aware of that fact. 

After a few more humps and lulled words of encouragement, he’s bursting at the seams. Just before he blows, Jungkook steps back, tight fist jerking himself frantically as he spills his seed onto your chest. Your eyes dart from his angry cock to his fucked out expressions. The moonlight shines behind him like a glowing aura as he finishes with a scrunched nose and his tongue between his teeth. He looks angelic. You moan under him, flinching when a stray spurt lands on your chin. 

Fucked out and dazed, he laughs softly, running a hand through his hair as his chest heaves. Collecting the liquid with his finger, he brings it to your giggling lips. The taste makes you hum as you lazily begin rubbing his cum all over your tits. 

“Really?” He asks with a raised eyebrow. “You’re already starting?”

“Starting what?” You pout, batting your lashes at him and circling your nipple lightly with the tip of your nail, trying your best to look oblivious and innocent. Well, as innocent as you possibly can while literally covered in sperm. 

“Don’t play dumb. You know what you’re doing.”

See, in many ways, Jungkook is different from any other guy you’ve been with prior. For one, you didn’t meet via horny messages on Tinder at 1 a.m. For two, he’s older, meaning he’s much more intelligent and much more experienced. After years and years of honing in on his craft, he just knows how to fuck. Jungkook is one of the rare few penis-havers in the world who can orgasm back to back; no refractory period necessary. Truly a hidden gem. 

To put it simply, the man is a fucking faucet—one that you can turn off and on whenever you want. 

As if on cue, Jungkook twirls his inked finger, indicating for you to turn around. The other hand squeezes his cock just below the crown to cut off circulation, keeping himself erect. With that, your white converses are planted flat onto the sparse grass as you bend over the back seat, leaning your weight on your elbows. 

It's like whiplash when Jungkook's aggressive persona drops, and he's running his hands all over your body. Up your thighs, over your back, down your arms. He blooms petal-soft kisses on your bare shoulder before whispering in your ear. “Can I go in like this? Or do you need some foreplay?”

“This is fine,” you murmur, jarred by his sudden tenderness. “Perfect, actually.” 

With a hushed ‘alright,’ Jungkook reaches over you to rummage through the pocket of his discarded blazer. A heavy sigh escapes your lips as he pulls out a square foil packet. Condoms were an unwavering constant in your weekend escapades. Jungkook always wears condoms. Normally, that would be a great thing; however, in this situation, it’s like a stab to the heart…

Because if he’s adamant about using protection with you, then that means he’s still sleeping with her, doesn’t it? And it’s not like you can even ask or scold him about it. She’s his wife, after all. You’re the outsider. 

Jungkook hooks his thumb into your panties and pulls them aside. Your glistening folds are on full display, waiting to get pounded mercilessly right on the side of the road. He shoves three digits into your mouth, letting your drool on them a bit before pressing them to your wet cunt. Opening your folds with his index and ring fingers, he lightly dips the middle inside you. He collects some arousal and spreads it to your clit in feathery flicking motions. You cry out, feeling the shocks of a blossoming orgasm. 

“Already dripping, I see.” You can practically hear his cocky, satisfied grin as he stands straight and rolls the condom down his length. “Always so sensitive.”

“Mhm,” you nod frantically, “I always get like this with you.”

“I know you do.” Pulling a cheek to the side, Jungkook cards his sheathed tip through your entrance, making sure to nudge under your clitoral hood with every swipe. Lewd wet sounds ring in your ears as he tortures your hole relentlessly. 

“Kook,” you huff, reaching back to dig your manicured, almond-shaped nails into his skin. “Just put it in!”

Suddenly, Jungkook slams your torso onto the leather. In one swift motion, he’s catching your wrists, pinning them both to your lower back with a single hand. 

“I’ll give you what you want just-” releasing the back of your neck, he spanks you so hard you recoil, “be patient.”

Despite his words, you wait no longer than a minute before he’s guiding his dreamy member right where you want it. Jungkook always gives in quickly. How could he not when you’re ass up, face down, and practically begging? As he sinks into you, and you feel that familiar burn from the initial stretch, your eyes roll back, mouth opening around a silent scream. 

Usually, Jungkook likes to overwhelm you with his entire length all at once. There’s some hesitation this time as he slides in only halfway before stopping. Too much hesitation for your liking. You’re confident he’s testing you. Your assumption is verified when he speaks in that annoying, condescending voice.

“If you want it so bad, come get it.”

“You’re so,” breaking free from his grasp, you press your palms into the seat and lift yourself up with a grumble, “infuriating.”

He hums halfheartedly, head dropping to watch you work yourself onto him. Only a single stroke in, and he can already see you coating him in a shiny, milky dew. “So fucking wet…”

“Can’t help it,” you peep, taking him to the hilt and circling your hips, trying to savor the feeling. You’re no stranger to his cock; how good it makes you feel. You spend every Friday night bathing in that pleasure, forgoing parties and hangouts with your best friends for a romp in the five-star hotel sheets with Jungkook. Still, you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to commit his touch to memory. Perhaps, despite your denial, you recognize that this is temporary. Deep down, you know that someday, all you’ll have left of him is a tragic echo. “I love the way you make me feel.”

“Me too,” he gasps, guiding your movements as his fingers dig into your hips. Clearly interpreting your admission differently than you had meant it. “Your pussy’s like heaven.” 

High on praise and drunk on the sounds you’re coaxing out of him, you whine, dragging your cunt up every inch of his throbbing length before slamming back. Hopefully, the dense forest behind you is enough to insulate the pornographic wails ripping through you. Even if someone somewhere hears, you can’t bring yourself to give a damn. Not when heady pleasure and adrenaline course through your veins like blood. 

Just when you’re about to collapse, arms giving out underneath you, Jungkook grabs you by the neck and holds you flush against his toned chest. “Don’t you run,” he chuckles. The low baritone rumble goes straight to your clit. His warm breath gusts over your skin, contrasting the chilly night air. “Don’t give up on me.”

He’s pounding into you now, choking you tighter than he ever has, but he pecks you so delicately. Lips barely ghosting over the shell of your ear. So gentle and tender. As tears stream down your cheeks for the second time tonight, you can’t help but feel there’s a hidden meaning behind his words.

“What’s wrong?” He smirks, tilting your face, wanting you to look him in the eye as you fall apart. The visual nearly makes you combust. His stringy hair is sticking to his cheeks, flushed from exertion. Even the tattoos littering the expanse of his neck are splotched pink and red. Twisting in his hold, you grab a fistful of his damp waves, fingers tickling his short undercut. “What do you want, baby?”

“Cum…”

“You wanna cum?”

“Please, please, please.” Weak whimpers punch out of you in tandem with his brutal thrusts.

“What do you say?”

“Please, sir?”

“Good girl,” he rewards you with a smack to your sensitive clit, “you can cum. I’ve got you.”

And with his permission, you’re cumming. Your legs shake violently as you’re overcome with blinding, electric gratification. If it wasn’t for Jungkook’s strong arms supporting you, you would’ve toppled face-first into the seat. He fucks you through the height of your orgasm; hips never ceasing, even when everything becomes so intense and sensitive that your body instinctively tries to push him away. He watches your face intently, reading your expressions to ensure he’s milked every last drop of your orgasm before he lets you fall onto the leather.

Even in your hazy state, you catch the breathy string of curses, a telltale sign of his own impending orgasm. “Fuck!” He groans, removing the condom to paint your ass and lower back in hot, white ropes. 

It’s funny, really. 

He refuses to cum with you or inside you, something so intimate and special, but he has no qualms cumming on you. It’s almost like he’s marking you, burning himself into your flesh. Consuming a piece of you every time your bodies come together as one. 

And all the while, his mind is somewhere else as his body swallows you alive. 

“Look at you,” Jungkook laughs, smoothing a palm up and down your spine, rubbing his semen into your skin the same way you had earlier. “I’ve made a mess out of you.” 

That’s true in more ways than one…

Lost in post-nut clarity, your brain barely registers Jungkook maneuvering you both into the car. Closing the door behind him, he moves you onto his lap, your back pressed against his sweaty button-up. Peering down, you see his slacks and boxers still around his ankles, black dress shoes poking out underneath. You’re in only a thong and sneakers, and your makeup is definitely melted. The two of you must look like the biggest sluts ever.

“What’s so funny?” Jungkook mutters, noticing your delirious giggles. 

“Oh, nothing,” you hum, leaning into him. Habitually, he wraps both of his inked arms around your middle. You despise how incredibly natural and serendipitous it feels, almost like you’re meant to be in them.

God __, get your head out of the clouds and return to Earth. 

Life isn’t a romance novel, and you’re not a child anymore. You shouldn’t see the world as quartz-colored and magical. The man is seven years older than you. He has a wife and child. Logistically, it could never, ever work…

But if soulmates exist as they do in the books, you wish on every falling star that Jungkook is yours.

“What are you thinking about?” You coo softly, turning your head to stare into the abyss of his infinite eyes.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, he can’t resist lowering his sinful hand to your most private area, cupping your sex unabashedly. “I want more.”

“You always want more.” 

“So do you,” he laughs, pointing out the way you grind into his touch. Nuzzling into your shoulder, he nips your skin and then soothes his tongue over it like an insincere apology. “Just one more time, okay?”

You nod, head leaning back on his shoulder as you succumb to his skilled fingers, rubbing your clit in tight circles. Jungkook pauses in contemplation before popping his glistening fingers into his mouth. When the taste hits his tongue, his face contorts. He even moans dreamily like you’re the most delicious dessert he’s experienced. The scene has your own brows furrowing, lips parting at just how hot and bothered he’s got you. 

Sensually, he trails the wet pads down, ghosting over a nipple, teasing you on their treacherous journey to your waiting core. He slides them in your wet cunt seamlessly, curling right into your g-spot. They move in a dip and wave that drives you wild, a wet suction noise sounding in the enclosed space. Turned on by your purrs and mewls, Jungkook subtly ruts against you, his plumping cock sliding between your cheeks.

“You’re already close, aren’t you?” He tuts patronizingly. “Gonna cum around my fingers, sweetheart?”

“No…”

“No?”

“Wanna cum with you…”

He stops, realizing what you’re alluding to, before pulling his fingers out and tapping your clit gently. “There’s another condom in my pocket. Can you hand it to me?”

“We don’t need it.”

“Yes, we do. Don���t be foolish.”

“... I’m on the pill,” you suggest hesitantly. Once again, you’re nothing but stupid and irresponsible when it comes to Jungkook. You just want to be with him, that’s all. 

“__,” he starts, voice shadowed with sternness, “give me the condom.”

Realizing he won’t budge, you do as he asks and fish it from his blazer, watching idly as he goes through all the steps—stroking himself to full mass, rolling on a barrier, and then positioning you between his spread legs as he guides you down onto his length with a hand on your hip. 

Cyclical. 

Like clockwork, your jaw drops, eyes screwing shut as you let him invade your space and infiltrate your mind. You don’t believe the two of you have ever tried this position before, but it feels so fucking good. His cock is so deep you can feel it in your fucking stomach. It’s obvious from his groaning and the aggressive spank he gives you that the unexplored angle is affecting him too. 

Outside, light rain begins chiming against the steel roof of his car as you take the first shallow rise of your hips. 

Scratch everything you’ve said about this not being a romance novel.

Distracted by the calming sound, you thoroughly miscalculate how much space you have in his sleek Mercedes Benz and bonk your head on the ceiling.

“Ow,” you wince with an embarrassed giggle.

Hissing at the impact, Jungkook clutches your head, massaging the area gently. “Are you okay?” His voice is muffled, and you can tell he’s trying his best not to laugh. 

“It’s not funny!” You shout playfully, slapping his knee. 

“No, it’s not. I’m sorry.” Chuckling, he moves your hair and places a gentle kiss between your shoulder blades. “You’re cute, that's all.”

Cute? You swoon. 

“Alright baby, keep going. Don’t stop,” Jungkook orders, the heel of his calloused palms pushing at your ass, encouraging you to bounce on his needy cock. A fucked-out sigh escapes him, head falling back for a split second before it jerks back up again, not wanting to miss the view of your perky cheeks rippling as they collide with his solid pelvis. “This position is so sexy.” Overwhelmed, he doesn’t know where to put his hands. He chokes you for a moment, plays with your tits, swats them, grabs your hips, and then finally settles on your clit, flicking it like a light switch.

“Jungkook!” You wail, knees knocking together as you brace yourself. Men you’ve dated in the past struggled to get you off. Sure, they made you feel good, but they couldn’t quite bring you to the edge. It only ever took Jungkook a matter of minutes to have you whimpering and shaking, begging for release. “I can’t take so much! I can’t!”

Ignoring your pleas, Jungkook pilots your right arm around his shoulder, sending you flush against his frame once more. Dipping his head, he sucks the closest nipple into his mouth. Caught off guard, you’re so overstimulated that your hips come to a grinding halt.

“Move,” he commands with his lips sealed around your piercing, sending dizzying vibrations to your sensitive bud. 

“I can’t,” you whimper, back arching off his chest as you try to calm all five tingling senses. 

“Yes, you can.” 

“No…”

Jeon Jungkook was never one to take no for an answer. 

Scooting further down the seat, his large hands clasp behind your knees. He lifts your legs until the heels of your white sneakers are on either side of the driver’s headrest. In this new position, he’s able to pound up into you freely, relentlessly beating into clenching walls. Hitting every single delicious spot inside of you. “Jungkook, please!”

“Please, what?” Honestly, you have no clue what you’re begging for. All you know is that his mushroom tip rigorously stimulating your g-spot is going to have you gushing at any moment. His guttural, sensual groaning does nothing to slow your approaching orgasm. “You want more?” 

As if you weren’t already gasping for air, Jungkook raises your legs to your head, knees locked onto his inner elbows. His fingers intertwine behind your neck, thumbs pressing into the base of your throat as he folds you in half. 

A full fucking nelson. 

“Watch me fuck it.” With a stern grip, he forces your gaze to his thick shaft, sliding in and out of your sopping cunt. Your vision is watery, but you can clearly see just how turned on you are, creamy juices coating his entire shaft. “Open it, baby. Watch what I do to you.” 

Reaching both hands under your thighs, you spread your lips, getting a better look at him completely destroying you.

“Isn’t it so pretty?” Jungkook grunts, speech slurred as his arousal lulls him into a delirious, catatonic state. “Tell me what you see, baby.”

“So pretty, Kook.” You’re simply playing into his dirty talk, but the sight of your bodies connecting, becoming one, is profoundly gorgeous. “So wet…”

“Yeah? Who’s pussy is this?”

“Yours.”

That sends him into a frenzy, thrusts becoming so punctuated and violent that his cock accidentally slips out. 

“Put it back in, put it back in!” You chant, frantically shoving his length into you. The yelp you chortle out is accompanied by the sound of your hand smacking against the foggy car window as your climax engulfs you. “I love it!”

“I love yo-”

He quickly cuts himself off, but everything stops when the sentence fragment hits the air. 

Is your brain playing sick, twisted jokes on you… or was he really just about to say he loved you?

Before you can even process what’s happening, your biological responses take over, sending through the most earth-shattering, world-bending, mind-boggling orgasm you’ve ever had. Everything goes blank. Your eyes cloud with splotches and stars. Your ears ring with static and white noise, blurring the sound of Jungkook cumming underneath you, and the pouring rain outside, splashing against concrete. 

This time, he doesn’t pull out, just works through both of your orgasms with gentle ruts and vulnerable whimpers.

After you’ve both calmed down and your heaves have diminished to a slow, even pattern, he pulls out, crumpling the used condom into a loose napkin he found in the center console. Still on his lap and in his arms, you watch intently as Jungkook leans his head back, eyes closing as he inhales deeply. To you, he looks almost… peaceful. 

The moon trickles in through the thin streams on the window, reflecting on his face like stained glass—something that was once so clear and pure now jaded with somber shades of blue. Sad, but still beautiful, you think. 

Delicately, you trace a finger over the black ink decorating his skin. You sit silently for a while, basking in the comfortable aura, simply enjoying one another’s company, before you finally speak.

“Why this?” You peep, pointing to the dainty letters at the base of his neck.

“It’s my daughter’s name.” He counters playfully, the faintest hint of a smile on his pierced lips.

“Well, duh, I know that,” you roll your eyes with a giggle, “but why here?”

“Yul is like air to me.” 

Humming in contemplation, you continue your journey over the endless swirls and loops. During sex, the first three buttons of his shirt popped open, exposing the canvas of his chest. You feel a thick, dark cloud loom over you when you reach a certain tattoo, the one that’s plagued your mind ever since you first saw it. 

Another name is engraved right above his heart in the same delicate font as Yul’s:

Seol. 

“Yul, please. Enough.” If Jungkook had a dollar for every time he's said that in the last twenty-two minutes, he’d be nearly as rich as his boss, sitting directly in front of him on a very important Zoom call. “Daddy is working.”

Jumping at the sudden inflection of his voice, the little girl on his lap pulls her tiny hand away. For the most part, Yul was well-behaved. However, working from home proved to be an obstacle that he and his clingy toddler have yet to overcome. 

She’s interrupted his meeting three times already. First, cutting off his proposal with the Baby Shark theme song, blaring from her Pinkfong tablet that he’d forgotten to mute. Second, peeking above his desk with her space buns and doe eyes to show his colleagues the latest addition to her squishmallow collection. The last straw was when she squeezed his nose. 

With watery eyes and warbled lips, Yul blinks at Jungkook, heartbroken and confused as to why he didn’t make that funny noise she loves so much. Quickly, her gaze averts to her chunky legs, swinging aimlessly as she attempts to hold back the tears.

“Excuse me for a moment,” Jungkook sighs, tacking on an apology before turning his screen off. “Bunny,” he lifts her chin with his index finger, another palm flat on her protruding tummy, “please, don’t cry. You’re not in trouble. Daddy just-”

The ring of a doorbell interrupts him.

“__?” Jungkook questions, baby at his hip as he stands in the doorway before you. “What are you doing here?”

You gulp. You weren’t expecting to see him.

Usually, you spoke to Seulgi. You’ve only ever seen Jungkook in passing, sparing quick greetings before he’s out the door. It worked in your favor, really, because for whatever reason, you felt extremely awkward around him.

Almost like that gross nervousness you get when you’re around someone you find so incredibly attractive it makes you uncomfortable…

Maybe it’s because he’s covered in tattoos and piercings. Maybe it’s because he’s a dad. Your group of fellow horny twenty-something-year-old friends have told you mythical stories and fantasies about older men. Freshly turned thirty-year-old men. Men like Jungkook. Dilfs. Something about that potent dad nut… Like, you know it works. 

It’s inappropriate; you know it is. You’ve always tried your best to ignore the feral thoughts.

Today seems to be putting your mental strength to the test because Jungkook is dressed in baggy gray sweats, long dark hair slicked back into a ponytail. A few loose strands dangle devilishly in front of his eyes, taunting you.

“I-It’s 10… I’m supposed to be babysitting.”

“I’m working from home today. My wife didn’t tell you?”

With wide eyes and hot cheeks, you shake your head. “I’m sorry for bothering you,” you stutter, stepping back and preparing to make a mad dash to your hand-me-down Honda Civic. “I’ll just… be on my way then.” 

“Actually.” An icy grip on your wrist stops you. “I could use some help. This one-” he nods his head towards Yul, stuck to him like velcro, “-is being a bit needy today.” 

One look at her turns your flustered gape into a smile. The past month with her has been more difficult than you’d imagined. Yul was incredibly sweet and intuitive, but unbearably shy. Building a relationship with the girl was challenging, but you were determined to overcome it. “No way,” you frown animatedly, tickling her leg with the tip of your finger, “Yul would never.”

A giggle or two had been the goal. Instead, she buries her face into her father’s shoulder.

“Don’t take it personally,” Jungkook orders, noticing the defeated slump in your shoulders. “She’s always like this with new people.”

Seulgi had warned you that Yul would take a while to come around. Hopefully, it’ll happen organically. But for now, a little gift or two wouldn’t hurt your efforts, you supposed last night while running errands. Reaching into your purse, you pull out a bottle of non-toxic, baby-friendly nail polish. “Yul, look what I have!”

“Wow,” Jungkook plays along, gently nudging her head out of his neck. “Bunny, look!”

He calls her Bunny? 

You’re in for it now. 

Plump fingers wrap around the plastic, taking it out of your own with an awe-stricken stare. She holds it up right in front of Jungkook’s nose. “Pink.”

“Mhm, that’s right,” he confirms, pecking her temple. “Now, Daddy has to get back to work. Can you stay with __ for a bit?”

She looks at him, then at you, then at him again, then back at you, and finally, landing on the nail polish, giving her father a reluctant nod. You knew it would come in handy. Despite her agreeance, Yul still stretches the neck of his shirt with her tiny fists as she’s transferred into your arms. 

Somehow, you managed to survive that painfully awkward encounter…

Only to be thrown into another one immediately after. 

See, you’ve always known Yul was a daddy’s girl. On good days, the toddler would grab you by the hand and guide you around the house, giving you a tour of everything that belonged to her father. His shoes at the door. His coat on the hook. Even taking you into the bathroom to show you his shampoo bottle. But that fact was never more apparent than now, as Yul stands in the middle of the living room on the verge of tears.

“Daddy?”

“He’s working, sweetheart. Remember?” You coo on your knees in front of her. You’re quick to redirect her. “I like your shoes.”

The sniffles stop as she glances down at her white sneakers. “Mine…” she takes a hesitant step back, mistaking your compliment as an attempt to swindle her out of them. 

“That’s right,” you laugh, “they’re so pretty, just like you.”

She blinks at you for a moment, and then begins stomping her little foot: heel first. When she’s finally able to kick off her left shoe, she bends all the way over, pressing her palms flat against the hardwood floor. It’s the most uncoordinated way you’ve ever seen anyone pick something up. 

Without warning, Yul throws the shoe across the room. Well, that had been her intention, you assume. She had cocked her arm back too far and released too early, making it land behind her. 

Oh no, she hates you. 

With an excited grunt and a bounce, Yul points to the sneaker—its clear sole sparkling pink and purple.

“Oh,” you sigh in relief. “They light up?” 

“Yesh.” Plopping right onto her butt, she takes the other one off, repeating the process. “Like this!” Her arms stretch out and she clenches her two little front teeth, executing the most stellar charade of a light you’ve ever seen. 

It’s a small breakthrough, but you’ll take it. 

Then you paint her nails, just like you said you would. She’s as patient as a toddler could be, but her tiny toe keeps curling under the tickle of the brush, making pink polish bleed outside of the lines. 

“My goodness,” you groan, admiring the messy, albeit adorable, result. “You’re so cute! Wait until your dad sees you.” 

Yul shrieks wildly, smacking both hands over her mouth as she hobbles to her feet. You watch with confused giggles as the milk-drunk baby stumbles down the corridor. You figure out where she's going too late. 

Yul stands on her tippy toes, jumping to click open the door to Jungkook’s office with a loud creak. 

“Yul!” You whisper-shout. “Don’t-”

“Daddy!” She calls, stepping a single foot into the room, showing off the fresh paint job. “So cute!” 

Literally, your only job today was to keep Yul preoccupied while Jungkook worked, and you failed. Your breath catches in your throat, awaiting his response. 

“So pretty,” he gasps, “now go play, baby. I’m almost done.” 

A relieved exhale flies past your lips. 

Something you’ve picked up on from years of babysitting is that little girls aren’t allowed to compliment themselves. They’re always told it’s rude or conceited. Jungkook does neither, and you find that so refreshing. 

“Close the door, please,” he orders before she runs away, “gently.” Yul does her very best to shut the door quietly and then sprints back to you. 

The next few hours go smoothly. You discovered that the green-hating toddler has an affinity for avocados after giving her a bite of your toast. “Mmm!” She had hummed, looking at you with wide eyes. With a full belly and squishmallow in hand, Yul went out like a light for her afternoon nap, giving you time to catch up on some reading. 

“How was she?” You didn’t even hear him come out of his office, so the deep voice makes you jump, eyes tracking the sound. He’s leaning against a kitchen counter, one tattooed hand stuffed in his pocket and the other wrapped around a water bottle. It’s a thick one too, and his fingers still touch. 

“Better,” you cough, “she’s sleeping now.”

He hums halfheartedly, dark irises boring into you as he takes a sip. Without Yul to soften the edges, Jungkook is… intimidating, to say the least. “What are you reading?”

“The Catcher in the Rye…” you peep, quickly closing it. “I know, it’s kinda lame.”

“No, not lame at all. Anyone who thinks that is lying to themselves… or is just being a contrarian.” He leans his elbows against the dark granite island, fingers crossing as he stares at you. You’re sitting idle across the room, but his presence looms over you. He has this way of making you feel like he’s in your head, listening to everything you’re thinking. 

You pray he’s not. If he is, you'll definitely be fired. 

“I can’t tell which one you are yet.”

You can’t tell if he’s joking or not, but the ‘yet’ makes you come clean, shifting in your spot on the leather couch. “... Both.”

“Right,” he smirks, tongue fiddling with his lip ring, almost like he’s taunting you. “That’s one of my favorite books, actually. I relate to it in many ways.”

Your fingers dance across the red cover, concealing hundreds of pages of isolation, emptiness, and the heavy dread of passing time. What an awful thing to relate to. Sometimes, when you get too engrossed in the text, glimmers of yourself bleed within the lines too. 

“You’re an English major, right?”

“Oh, um, I’m not in school at the moment… I just read for fun.”

“Well, you have an Associate’s degree.” Him knowing that information about you makes you think he asked the previous question with the intention of baiting you into this conversation. “Why not get your Bachelor’s?”

“I don’t know. It’s… complicated.” 

Why is he interrogating you? What does he want? For you to confess that the fear of becoming a full-fledged adult makes you not want to go back to college? 

“Life is complicated. You’d be ridiculous to not go back.” The audacity should make you mad, but he speaks with so much authority that you’re dumbfounded. His head tilts, eyes squinting as they shift to the ceiling, debating something. His tongue clicks when he finally makes his decision. “Follow me; I have something I want to show you.” 

With the curl of two thick fingers, Jungkook calls you to follow him down the hallway. You blink for a moment, gushing at the suggestive motion of his hand. Shaking your head at the evil, intrusive thought, you rise to your feet. 

Just like a child, you have to skip to catch up to his long strides. Your gaze trails along white walls; there are pictures of him and Yul, Yul and Seulgi, but not a single one of them all together. 

Now that you think about it, any affection you’ve ever seen in the household was reserved for Yul and Yul only. Seems like trouble in paradise…

You shouldn’t speculate.

The heavy wooden door creaks as Jungkook holds it open for you. You’re not sure what you expected his room to look like, but it certainly wasn’t this. The rest of the house is pretty modern, consisting of sleek blacks, whites, and woods. Countertops designed with icy swirled marble. Everything has this cold, impersonal vibe, but this room is the total opposite. The walls are baby blue, decorated top to bottom with dreamy clouds. You spot a chubby yellow star peeking out from underneath one of them, adorned with a hand-painted smiley face. On his nightstand, there’s a pastel purple foldable record player. Standing behind it is a single vinyl: Beautiful Boy by John Lennon. 

“Since you like to read,” Jungkook coughs, turning your attention to a sleek bookcase, stuffed to the brim with hundreds of titles you’ve never even heard of. “I figured you’d appreciate my collection.”

“Yeah, it’s…” The words trail off as you step forward. On a whim, your finger extends, tracing the delicate spine of a well-loved book. A low chuckle brings you back to reality; you peep, cheeks heating up in embarrassment as you yank your hand away. “It’s… really cool.”

“You can borrow something if you’d like. Does anything catch your eye?” Plopping down onto the computer chair, Jungkook rummages through his desk drawer and pulls out a tiny black case. You didn’t even know he wore glasses, and when he nudges them comfily onto the bridge of his nose, you nearly melt. As if he could get any more attractive.

“N-No,” you stutter as he wheels closer. Even though you’re towering over him, you still feel so small in his presence. You pray to God he can’t sense how incredibly nervous he makes you. “Not really.” 

“You wear your heart on your sleeve, you know,” he hums, low and sly. “Do I make you nervous?”

“No!” You peep in shock. Is the man a fucking mindreader? 

“Right.” Jungkook peers over the rim of his lenses, dark eyes glimmering in the whimsical glow of the room. “So __, what do you want to be?”

“A teacher,” you say, playing with your fingers.

“My wife wanted to be a teacher, too.” He shoots you the softest, gentlest smile. “She ended up doing business instead.” 

“Why?” You ask, gnawing on your bottom lip. You don’t mean to pry, but this is the first time you’ve ever actually talked to him in a meaningful way. Something about him intrigues you, like a puzzle you’re determined to find all the pieces to. 

“Ah, well,” he sighs, inked fingers scratching at the back of his neck. “We figured it’d be best for our family if we both pursued more lucrative career paths. I switched my major from English to finance.” You light up at the confession, the similarity putting you at ease. “I’m sorry if I was abrasive earlier,” he frowns, “I settled down young and had to sacrifice a lot, so I encourage you to go for something that fulfills you.” With his elbows on his knees, he leans closer to you. “I think you’d be a fantastic teacher. You take care of my daughter well.”

“Thank you,” you peep, cheeks heating up at the compliment. “I mean… you didn’t have Yul that young.” He tried to comfort you, so it’s only fair you do the same, right? “I think your late twenties are a great time to have children.”

Almost immediately, his face drops, eyes glazing over with something so raw. So… longing. You’ve never seen anything like it before. The corners of his nose twitch before he composes himself. “Yeah, I suppose they are.” His pink tongue toys with his lip ring, swiftly changing the subject. “You seem surprised.” 

“I guess I just wasn’t expecting all this.” 

“Expecting what?” 

“I don’t know,” you laugh clumsily, “books.” You mentally curse yourself as soon as the answer comes out. Really, __? Books? 

“What?” He starts, raising a brow at you. “You thought I couldn’t read?”

Thankfully, Jungkook takes your comment playfully. 

“Maybe,” you respond in the same lighthearted manner, feeling a bit more comfortable in his presence, “I also didn’t expect your room to look like a little boy’s room.”

All of the cheerfulness in the air evaporates as Jungkook glares at you with a clenched jaw and flared nostrils. Cleary irate. You’ve triggered a landmine.

“Jungkook, I’m-”

“Stop talking.” He raises a hand, cutting you off before you finish the sentence. Turning his back to you, he wheels over to his desk. “You can leave. You’re done for the day.” 

Looking back, you know why he was so upset that day. You had put the puzzle pieces together a while ago. You’re unsure of the details, and asking for them feels wrong. Silence feels wrong, too, though. Until now, you’ve never dared to speak up. 

You have no idea how to navigate something of this magnitude, but you just want him to know that you’re here. That you’re trying.

Cautiously, with your hand still on the tattoo, you whisper: “He must’ve been so beautiful, Jungkook…”

The thumb that had been drawing soft shapes into your side comes to an eerie pause as he freezes under you. When you look at him, your heart shatters. His chin is caved in with little dents, eyes glazed over with so much emotion. You’ve never seen a human being look so broken.

“Get off me.”

You frown at the shift in his demeanor. “Why?”

Remaining tight-lipped, Jungkook physically removes you from his lap, dumping you onto the seat next to him.

“Why can’t we ever talk about anything serious?”

He remains quiet as he slides his underwear up, not sparing you a single glance. When he speaks, his tone is painfully detached. “Like what?”

“Like what you said,” you answer curtly. 

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You were about to.”

Shaking his head with a cynical chuckle, he begins buttoning his pants, pretending you don’t exist. Like you’re not right beside him, falling to pieces. 

Your eyes dart to the ceiling, lashes fluttering rapidly as you mull over what to say next. You guess now would be an appropriate time to ask him what you’ve wanted for weeks. Blinking does nothing to combat your unshed tears when you realize that his answer has the potential to destroy everything you’ve been dreaming about. Everything you’ve hoped for. “When are you going to leave her?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not being ridiculous, Jungkook!” Shaking your head furiously, you feel the first hints of anger in your chest, tears threatening to spill at any moment. “I’m not! I see the way you look at me!”

“What the fuck did you think was going to happen? Huh?” Finally, he’s paying attention to you, just not in the way you hoped. His face is beet red as he leans closer. “Don’t tell me you actually thought we were going to end up together, __. Seriously? You’re my babysitter! You’re seven years younger than me! This isn’t some fucking fairytale; it’s life! There’s no such thing as happily-ever-afters—grow up and stop acting like a damn child!”

“No, Jungkook,” you croak, fully sobbing as you push an angry finger into his chest. “You’re the one who’s acting childish! I may not be the most mature person, but at least I know how to accept love!”

“So let’s say I divorce my wife, then what? Huh?” He seethes. “I get partial custody? I only see Yul on weekends? Every other week? She grows up in a broken home? I refuse to ruin my daughter’s life like that.”

You take a shaky breath, eyes shifting to the car floor, the air fresher on his mirror, the window. Anywhere but him. The way Jungkook explains your make-believe future together is nothing how you envisioned it. Maybe he’s right. Maybe he’s just a fucking asshole. Neither thought process eases the pain.

“But you’re okay with ruining mine?”

For a moment, his features soften, and you see a glimmer of guilt wash over him. It fizzles out just as fast as it came. “You’re being dramatic.” Jungkook steps outside, tucking his shirt into his pants. “Get dressed.” 

With jittery hands and blurry eyes, you grab your discarded lace bra, the one you had bought just for tonight, and slide it on your shoulders. When you pick your shirt up, you see that it’s ripped and tattered. Completely destroyed. 

“Here,” Jungkook mumbles, tossing you his blazer as he watches you in the rearview. 

Once you’re dressed, you awkwardly slide into the passenger seat. The scent of his cologne makes your head pound and your stomach flip. 

“I want to go home.”

His lips part, preparing to persuade you otherwise. The hotel room he booked is ready and waiting, just as it is every Friday. He decides against it, simply murmuring an ‘okay’ before putting the keys in the ignition and starting the engine. 

“Do you want to get something to eat before I drop you off?” 

You just want your dad. 

“I just want to go home.”

Other than the whoosh of splashing puddles and your soft sniffles, the ride to your house is painfully silent. Leaning your head against the window, you watch the moon. For miles and miles, it never changes. It’s stagnant, frozen in time, surrounded by nothing but endless blackness. 

“Stop crying! I can’t stand it anymore!” Jungkook shouts, hitting the steering wheel with his open palm, finally growing uncomfortable from your non-stop tears. The sudden outburst makes you flinch. Sighing heavily, he pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. Just… stop crying, please.”

You sink further into your seat, curling your lips into your mouth to suppress a sob.

“I’m not worth your tears, __.”

You feel nothing but relief when he finally turns onto your street, stopping all the way at the end, concealed by the night and the shadows of overhanging trees. 

“Am I picking you up next Friday?” He asks just before you leave. 

With raw cheeks and a scowl, you slam the door in his face. 

Your feet are so heavy that the sidewalk sinks under you like quicksand. No matter how many steps you take, the comfort of your house seems out of reach. Too far gone. Confusion weighs on your shoulders. You should feel proud, empowered even, but that voice in the back of your mind smothers any sense of relief. 

Deep down, you know this isn’t going to be the last weekend you spend with Jungkook. 

© chryblossomjjk 2022 [do not copy, translate or repost]

[lietpolski]

The tags u left on that serbrus drawing are fascinating... Can you tell me more i want to study this dynamic on a petri dish

YEAH ofc !! i'm not the expert on those 2 but i do find the idea of them VERY entertaining <3 this will get long bc i'm insane

i think vuk's crush on ivan would've been a thing since the 1800s! and it was SO onesided even back then :,) so russia supported the serbs in their struggle for independence from the ottomans, right? this was nothing special for russia (they'd helped out other balkan states too), and they just did it because they wanted to weaken and defeat the ottomans. for serbia though this was huge! russian support played a central role in winning their independence, and i think vuk's the kind of person that doesn't forget it when someone does something nice for him

the next decades brought constant fighting with austria, during which vuk was 24/7 daydreaming about his only powerful ally, big hunk muscle daddy ivan <3 panslavism was ALL the rage (ivan wasn't nearly as into it as vuk was until ww1, i think that's part of where the idea of starstruck vuk who wants to be buddy buddy kissy kissy with russia and ivan being like uhhhh... comes from)

but when ww1 did happen, ivica came to the rescue daww. (overdramatic jokes aside, ivan DID like him, as a loyal ally & fellow orthodox slav, but more on that later.) so at the time vuk was all like <3 <3 <3 omggg my hero

relations soured when russia went on their big baddie commie era because yugoslavia thought they were cringe, but this changed during the 90's. russia was the only one to show support for serbia at the time (when no one else did including old allies) and so vuk was like 'ohhhh fineeee i can forgive him for his stalinist phase <3 i miss his dick anyway <3' and has been obsessed ever since

tldr a lot of this comes from vuk's main character syndrome where he thinks that the world revolves around him and everything that other people decide to do, they do because of how they feel about HIM, duh. & vuk being a prideful person who had no one else to turn to during multiple points in history, so he stuck to the one dude who WAS there like a little homosexual flea to a dog

he stalks ivan's instagram, has a helga from arnold-esque russia shrine in his bedroom and idolizes ivan (/has frequent dreams about having sex with him).

meanwhile ivan remembers to send vuk a happy easter card every year for that slay orthodox solidarity, and then forgets about him for another year because vuk's a huge pick-me girlie and it even weirds IVAN out a bit <3 his feelings are still overall warm but it's the difference in intensity that makes this dynamic very funny to me

[darkenforcer]

2 FROM EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE PLEASE

QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN || accepting !

What caused you to start writing? What was your key point?

reading and writing have always been hobbies of mine, so when i learned i could write as the fictional characters i love? with other people!? i was so down!

i don't remember what keyed me in on it, though? i used to play pretend (it was just LARPing, lbr) on the playground until i was around 11, so maybe it kinda clicked in my mind that writing was the natural next step? no clue.

Do you tell your friends / family that you write?

KINDA... i tell people i write with a community online and create "collaborative stories," but i never refer to it as rp or go in-depth unless i know that person's also done it before / is in similar fandom spaces.

Are you happy with how your favorite canon muse was portrayed in canon?

sure, i don't have any major complaints about his writing! it's consistent and fun to compare how differences in the localization shift the tone of certain character/rship-building scenes, while still managing to keep the spirit of his character intact. my only "issue" is that they could've put more time into expanding his character arc in the third act (but the same can be said for every character... a fumble all around tbh).

Have you ever written a canon muse that you first thought of ‘meh’ when they appeared in their canon show/movie/book?

NOPE! can't do it. if i'm not weird about that fictional character from the start, it's very unlikely i'll ever put the effort into forcing myself to write them. i need that click! that spark!

How do you create an OC? What are your steps for developing an OC?

i haven't developed an oc in yearssss so i'm the last person anyone should be asking. uh... (1) be a preteen, (2) develop an insane normal fictional crush, and (3) make an oc to ship them with. bam.

Who was your first OC?

i made my first in-depth oc when i was a wee 9 year old... she started out as a self-insert sonic oc that i obviously had to ship with sonic and shadow bc, duh. i also forced my cousins to make ocs so we could roleplay together lol.

i had more before that one but they were basically just vague roles i slipped into when playing pretend with my friends.

Is there any fandom you regret exploring?

can i say all of them njgnjg i think every fandom out there has its subset of annoying fans who'll make you reconsider ever interacting with anyone you haven't personally vetted lol, even if briefly. for example -- just bc of its infamy -- i never interact with sonic fans outside my circle; i've seen way too many pointless debates and shitty opinions to risk venturing out there again...

In what fandom did you start?

i am SO glad sonic was the first because the ones after it are infinitely more embarrassing.

What are your favorite ships on here (feel free to tag?)

OOO good question!!! i'll start by saying i've been rooting for break/zhilan since day 1 -- love those goobers!! other than that, i enjoy seeing any ship get together on here, like lloyd/zelos, vash/wolfwood (both iterations), nicolette/wang yi... if you're shipping with someone just now i'm hooting 'n hollering whenever they interact.

Have you ever developed a ship based on writing with a certain other character / mun?

nope, not yet! it's not that i'm against developing ships after noticing chemistry betwen muses -- far from it! -- it's just never gotten to the point where i wrote one.

What’s something you find weird on here?

i can't think of anything in particular, so... tumblr's commitment to making their layout as annoying as unoriginal and bloated as possible.

What people make you happy when you see them on the dash?

commence the taggening... you (duh), @kleinstar, @moraypower, @hollowfaith, @cladinivcry, @ultimatelifefcrm, @innerbeast, @nicawlette, @twohundredpower, @spiderstaff, @lalaluuz, ... i can't keep tagging people i'll go on forever...

[aemiron-main]

i think what's so funny about the bi Mike narrative is that you flat out have to ignore canon scenes. "boys only"? doesn't mean anything, only Will's "a day free of girls" means something. Mike and El's severe family coding going back all the way to s1 where they explicitly discuss being cousins and siblings? doesn't mean anything either, that's just there for fun, their romance should be taken completely serious and not be uncomfortable at all. Mike seemingly realizing he doesn't want to be with El/wants to be with Will when she kisses him in s3? coincidence, it's not because he realizes he doesn't like El, it just happens to happen while a girl is kissing him. Mike resorting to a disprovable lie about love at first sight during his monologue instead of stating the real moment he realized he liked her? completely random🤭

if your interpretation of canon is that solid then why are you avoiding certain scenes? and the few people i've seen tackle them always need to go on their tangent of how "it's not like that" or you're "reading too much into it". so obviously El saying she could be Mike's sister doesn't mean anything and is just random filler dialogue, it's not supposed to make you feel any particular way. Mike having a similar girls excluding line to Will is only gaycoding for Will, Mike is just being silly and goofy duh, it's not that serious, and so on

it's fine to have whatever hc or interpretation but it's weird to me when ppl straight up say it's just as valid as the interpretation that's actually applicable to all of the show. the narrative that there is a good argument for bi Mike to be made and that ppl just don't post it anymore because the gay Mike truthers (who only hang out on their blogs) are so mean is hilarious when i know i've seen every bi Mike take last year and wasn't convinced by any of them. if there is such a good argument for bi Mike then why don't i see more posts? bc despite the current victim complex, gay Mike was the original pariah in the fandom until people had the guts to start posting analysis. the fact that half the people on here now subscribe to gay Mike despite that interpretation only not getting you screamed at since a few months ago does say a lot about how convincing both interpretations are. because just maybe, the fact that there's more gay Mike believers than bi Mike believers (don't even know if that's accurate i don't know the tag anymore, but it's what the bi interpretators are saying) is because people see it as more plausible, and not bc they haven't had the pleasure to see a bi Mike post yet

seriously, just your gay Mike takes alone go way back and were pretty unusual at the time. and it speaks volumes to me that most serious anaylzers and theorizers subscribe to gay Mike exclusively, while the blogs that post more for fun and provide regular character and ship content and interact more with the tag and "community" on here like bi Mike. it's almost like... bi Mike is more fun as a hc but narratively inferior to gay Mike, which is why all the serious show analyzers are so adamant and passionate about it

ANON YOU WENT OFF WITH THIS!!!!!!!! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 ABSOLUTE FACTS 10000000% REAL LIKE I HAVE NO NOTES IM JUST CLAPPING AND CHEERING AND NODDING MY HEAD WHILE I TYPE THIS!!!!!!!! That’s SO true about how the more serious analysis blogs tend to be gay mike truthers whereas the more for fun/posting solely hc stuff blogs tend to veer towards bi mike. And with that said, I think there’s also an element of that dynamic that’s tied to how that solely fic/hc section of byler tumblr tends to get fairly weird about The Actual Show sometimes (such as a bunch of them being appalled that people would bother to try and analyze henry) & try to stay in this weird “all headcanons are textually valid” space (even though thats not possible) because that whole group is so eager to jump at the throats of anyone who makes a minor misstep. Like this does NOT go for *everyone* who is just having fun/posting ship stuff, many of those folks r wonderful, im talking abt a particular group of popular/vocal folks in that circle, and there’s definitely a dynamic at play of “smh someone CRITICIZED another TAKE from SOMEONE ELSE, they are SOOOO rude smhhhhh everything is canon and valid” which makes people not want to step out of line/not want to have actual firm opinions on things.

But god uh my little tangent aside, this is so real and well-put, anon. Like you said, if there’s so much evidence for bi mike, then why arent people posting it instead of posting posts whining about how somebody said that there’s no evidence for bi mike? Like. Post your evidence then. Do it. I still laugh about one big prominent bi mike blog that posted awhile back about how they COULD disprove all the gay mike analysis but they WONT. and it’s like. girl. we know that you won’t because you CAN’T. If you could, you WOULD. And oh my god people acting like the familial parallels are just random filler dialogue makes me INSANE and what makes me more insane is when people (specifically the fucking idiots on twitter) act like pointing out the obvious mileven familial parallels is weird on MY part. As if IM THE ONE THAT PUT THEM THERE?? AS IF IM CONDONING INCEST?? LIKE GO TALK TO THE DUFFERS THEY PUT THEN IN THERE NOT ME!!!

And god yeah you just. You said it ALL, anon, like this is perfect, like people can have hcs or whatever i dont care but dont act like theyre equally textually supported. Because theyre not. And pointing out what is/isnt canon in the show isn’t biphobia, as much as God’s Whiniest Soldiers would like to believe it is. Gay mike ws absolutely the pariah before, and it’s SO funny to see bi mike truthers acting like anyone who disagrees with them is a Big Bad Mean Person who is Exploding Bi Mike Truthers With A Biphobia Laser. I have asked 163748596969696 times for someone to give me bi mike evidence that doesn’t heavily rely on outright ignoring the existence of other scenes in the show. And nobody’s been able to do it. Because mike is gay & the show is written with gay mike in mind. And god yeah the whole me getting screamed at over it thing is so funny in retrospect because people were literally mad at me for “disturbing the peace” as if this is fucking hobbiton and i’m gandalf after dragging bilbo baggins off to the lonely mountain & being labelled a disturber of the peace for it. like oh nooo ive got my gay little hands all over your peace. So what. Block me. Kill me if you can. Just do SOMETHING other that whining in my inbox like youre a 50 year old home owners association leader who got a noise complaint because i sneezed too loudly. (and when i say you, i dont mean You, anon, i mean the collective whining bi mike group who haunts my inbox).

It makes me insane. Every day. To see people willfully ignoring evidence that disagrees with them & trying to shoehorn evidence into working just for them to bring out the flimsiest analysis youve ever seen in your life & have a fucking fit when people point out that it’s flimsy. Again, anon, you said it ALL.

[galaxycunt]

OC INTERVIEW

Tagged by @adelaidedrubman

I been seeing people do these in character so lemme do it for Mara and Ysari bc those are my guys rn

Ysari

name: Ari, all my friends call me that. [astarion miming behind them] Ys if you wanna be like that

nickname: …blood bag….hes teasing though it’s okay!

gender: who are you? The government?

star sign: Darling? What is it? Oh, okay. Uh, Leo.

personality type: oh I don’t do those tests. Those are for teenagers and Gale.

height: 5’4 I’m not ashamed of it unlike someone I know 😏 (astarion)

orientation: all about that free love baby

nationality/ethnicity: baldurian born and fucking raised baby!!!!

fave fruit: strawberries, especially on a pastry oh I love those jam things.

fave season: late spring, early summer. Beautiful ocean breeze in the afternoon.

fave flower: Balsam is cute, RIGHT ASTARION FLOWERS ARE SO NICE

fave scent: fresh tobacco, bergamot, tea leaves.

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: coffee, I am the god of sleep. I need to lie down all the time oof.

average hours of sleep: I dunno, babe. Who sleeps in more these days? Don’t let anyone tell you how often cold food was when I finally got up at camp to eat in the morning. Awful, awful stuff.

dog or cat person: how can I choose? With their little paws and noses? Would you ask me to choose the sun or the moon?

dream trip : I wouldn’t mind traveling to water deep now that people aren’t trying to kill me every other step.

favorite fictional/real character: I gotta say, Boo is an underutilized character in most bard tales involving Minsc. I’m gonna change all that.

number of blankets you sleep with?

A: oh yeah! Tell them how many!

You’d THINK a vampire spawn would understand what it means to be cold.

random fact: I can juggle!

Mara

Name: Mara!

Nickname: Mars Bar, Marshmallow, hey you!

Gender: I’m just a 22 yr old minor

Star Sign: Aries

Height: 6’8 (5’1)

Personality type: I think I took those tests. Told me I had a computer virus. I dunno. I kinda just click on the first result online.

Orientation: I’m your bisexual queen 😎

Nationality/Ethnicity: soy chicana biiiiitch straight from LA 🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽😤😤😤😤

Fave Fruit: mangoes

Fave Season: summer

Fave Flower: roses. I need to have them somewhere on everything I own pretty much

Fave Scent: rose!!! Duh!!!

Coffee, Tea, or HC: listen, listen. Hot chocolate WITH coffee.

Average Hours of Sleep: uhhhh 8? That sounds right (it was not)

Dog or Cat Person: doggies

Dream Trip: never left the country can you believe? Need to see what the other colonies are all about.

Favorite Fictional Character: that funky little robot with a mustache thats in the serials Felix makes me watch.

Number of Blankets They Sleep With: five

Random Fact: I can do that fun little trick with a gun where I can light a match by shooting it. Learned it from my neighbor Dan who was a stunt coordinator back in the day.

[snuff-loves-men]

ALP Character HCs

⋆GN!Reader + NSFW HCs

⋆list includes: Connor Temple & Johnny Harker

*note: I jus wanna get this shit outta my drafts

Connor Temple ✮

Pre-relationship

• Met you when he attended college and immediately latched onto you

• You humored his ridiculous conspiracies, enjoyed his passion for prehistoric things and theories and had similar interest in movies

• Was thrilled to have more friends

• When he pulled out of college, you sought him out, it worried you that such a bright peer dropped college for seemingly no good reason

• He sort of accidentally maybe told you a bit about the anomalies and what he was doing with Professor Cutter

• You obviously thought he was batshit insane but lo and behold, he was telling the truth

• You figured that out the hard way when you encountered an entelodont fresh out of a rip in time

• Needless to say that changed your view a bit

• So you became a sort of witness to the whole ARC operation until you were recruited to be “the help”, basically just doing whatever the main team didn’t do [like paperwork…]

• After a few months of working there you, Connor and Abby started to get close, forming a little group

• Occasionally when you weren’t held up at work or they weren’t risking their lives, you’d all hang out.

• It was a cute dynamic for a while

• Until you and Connor started to hang out seperately

• Bringing him over to your flat a handful of times w/out Abby

• When Abby caught wind of this, she had a bit of a feeling where it was heading

• You and Connor ended up becoming best friends, spending pretty much any spare moment you could with each other, Abby sometimes tagging along for the adventure

• Then another noticeable dynamic started, where you would start messing with Connor and he’d be blissfully unaware of the fact you were joking

• Has no idea what’s going on when you flirt w/him

• Thinks it’s just a “fun friend dynamic” at first

• Uh-huh, cuddling up with your homies during movie night is suuuuper normal, Con.

• You don’t hold your friend’s hand from time to time? Psshh, weird.

• You gotta cry into your bros arms every now and then, y’know, for your health

• Abby points out the fact that you’re actually being very forward w/him

• He doesn’t believe her at first and just excuses it but she quotes some of the most unhinged things you’ve said to him and it finally clicks

• Slowly he starts to flirt back and you jump on that shit immediately

• He pulls a “make me” and you almost explode

• Struggles to get acclimated to using the humor he used w/ Abby on a guy

• He gets it but it takes a minute

• Eventually you two get into a sorta will-they-won’t-they because it’s Connor and he’s perpetually confused about relationships

• You close the deal and give him a kiss plus an extensive talk on relationships bcs he needs deets

• Everyone in the ARC catches on pretty quick

• Of course they clown on you two for it bcs duh

• Once Stephen saw you two have a tender moment and just ragged on you for like 5 minutes and Connor got super embarrassed until he realized he was joking

• Abby was super supportive but also your biggest bully

• She mostly picked on Connor but every now and again she’d change targets

• Overall lots of figuring each other out and starting some cute little dynamics

Established Relationship

• Lots of time spent in each other’s work spaces not getting work done bcs you two were fucking around doing random stuff

• He also stayed around your place and eventually moved in cause when has he ever held down a flat that was his?

• You had to fully mold him into a better roommate there was absolutely no way you were gonna put up w/ that

• Steals ur shirts and over-layer clothes [borderline klepto when it comes to clothes]

• Has made you late to work so many times

• Can’t cook for shit so you have to do it for him

• A very good helper in the kitchen but otherwise culinarily inept

• Loves helping you with chores and other various excuses to share some cute domestic moments

• Had to be retaught how to do laundry cause what the fuck was he doing before??

• Asked you to help decorate his room when he moved to your flat and you made fun of all his nerd stuff [he claimed you were jealous of his collection]

• Harasses you to come to movie nights w/ Tom and Duncan

• Movies nights just turn into all four of you talking over the movie and ranting abt your opinions on it

• Lots of debates abt in universe realism and plot holes

• Con infodumps relentlessly about Star Wars or other such sci-fi type movies/shows whenever he’s given the chance

• You two go back and forth about your fixations and listen to each other equally because ur gross and in love

• Enables your fixations like you enable his

• Otherwise has a bit of trouble listening the first time and has to be reminded of things

• Very grateful for your patience with him

• Lots and lots of affection and compensation for “dealing” with him [it’s really not that bad but he feels guilty so you let him]

• Insanely loving and affectionate in private but dials it back in public

• Has a weird thing with PDA, very on and off with it depending on the situation [usually PDA positive]

NSFW

• Gets turned on so fast

• If you touch him a certain way or talk to him in a way he likes there’s like a 9/10 chance he’s tomato red and tugging his shirt down

• Make a comment on his body and he’s beet red

• If you put your hands on his waist he’s fully leaning back and melting into your touch

• Mindlessly run your hands on his sides and he’s shivering at the feel

• He loooooves when you make him feel weightless, tossing him around or picking him up has him giggling like a schoolgirl

• Fully sits on your lap whatever chance he gets

• God forbid things actually get hot and heavy

• If you make out with him he’s whining and open-mouthed

• Touch his thighs and his hips twitch until he remembers himself

• Will crawl into your lap and grind on you if you let him

• Goes crazy for neck kisses

• Insanely easy to wind up

• Takes him a while to get over his virgin demeanor but he gets there

• Used to be a very selfish lover until he learned how much he loves making you feel good

• Either a service top or the bottomiest bottom

• Won’t turn down doing nothing but generally tries not to

• Sometimes he completely forgets in the heat of the moment and just lets you do whatever

• Eager to please at all times, will try pretty much anything if he thinks you’ll like it

• Once you find stuff you both like he wants it any time you guys do the dirty

• He figured out he liked being manhandled and you were on it

• If you push him up against a wall it’s over

• Not like he weighs very much but it still makes him feel special

• You also made a habit of overstimulating him because he cries but still tries so hard to keep from pulling away because he still wants it

• On certain days he’ll specifically seek out that treatment

• Likes to feel powerless against you [really he just likes the attention and how it feels but that’s his “reasoning”]

• Vibrators.

• That’s it.

• Simultaneously his favorite and least favorite addition to the bedroom

• Loves when it’s used on him but also gets easily overwhelmed by it

• It’s so-so

• Face down ass up type of guy

• Takes that position pretty much every time you two fool around

• Likes when you grab his waist and get rough

• Also likes when you slap his ass but that’s only sometimes

• Emotional during sex, 100%

• Not the cry during sex type but gets very sappy

• Lots of “I love you”s in his horny ramblings

• Begs.

• Doesn’t even have to be prompted he just does it when he’s close

• So very vocal

• Not loud vocal rather he makes some semblance of noise the whole time, very whiney

• Likes being marked up with hickies only you two can see, he likes seeing the reminders of what you two did

• Lots of kisses and tenderness, loves feeling close to you during it

• Needy once he’s in the moment but usually doesn’t initiate

• If he initiates he is incredibly horny

• Those are usually the times he has to be touching you no matter what

• He’ll be all over you, constantly demanding your attention and touch

• Though it’s rare he ever gets like that

• Usually only if you tease him a bunch but never give him any release

• Not an overtly sexual person but obviously won’t turn it down

Johnny Harker ✮

pre-relationship

• Asshole.

• There’s no polite way of going about it he’s just sort of an asshole

• Has a bad habit of taking his anger out on you

• Fist fought you more than once

• Not a great start but any sort of relationship w/Johnny is hard earned

• He makes it difficult on purpose

• If you partner up w/ him on the job he will shit on you for any missteps or slip ups

• Has pointed a loaded gun at you at least once during a really bad fight

• You’ve kicked his ass [if you bring it up he’ll start shit all over again]

• Very bitter if you outdo him at something

• Once you earn his respect, he eases up a bit and cuts you some slack

• Takes a while but starts biting his tongue if you do something he disagrees with

• Starts to actually joke with you and let you see his less serious side

• He starts to act like a somewhat normal person once he knows you’re in it for the long haul and aren’t a coward

• Fights get less common but still happen bcs he’s perpetually pissed off

• One time you got hurt really bad and he damn near had a stroke, lots of conflicting emotions

• It’s hard for him to comfort people, he has a hard time not just logic-ing his way through other people’s problems

• Will always patch up your wounds and poke fun at you for getting them

• Same goes the other way around, you once stitched up a bad gash on his stomach and he couldn’t stop staring at you

• Would never in a million years admit to having feelings for anyone first

• You made the mistake of joke flirting with him once and he had a moment of “proving” how straight he was and it actually contradicted his whole point

• Gets butt hurt whenever someone jokes about you guys’ odd relationship

• Slowly starts to get defensive over you but will always deny it if you bring it up

• Finds any excuse to spend time with you

• He teaches you how to disassemble all of the guns in the armory and how to clean and work each one

• Tells you about any and all tech he has in the hideout

• Literally just wants to teach you stuff because it makes him feel good and brings you two closer

• Still, never gonna admit it

• After a really bad mission where you fully almost died he was livid pissed, simultaneously at you but also in general

• He took some of his frustration and worry out on you

• You obviously didn’t respond great to that after almost getting murked

• It turned to pushes and shoves until uh oh, you were against a wall

• It went how you’d expect, after a moment of high tension and debating wether or not you should throw a punch, he kissed you

• Hard and rough, almost hard enough to bruise

• Till eventually he dialed it back a bit to a somewhat normal make out sesh

• Still hot and heavy tho bcs duh it’s Johnny Harker

• Needless to say there was no prancing around it after that

• He started warming up to the idea of being a little more openly caring

• It was a hard lesson for him to learn

• Until this time he got badly hurt and realized he never wanted to feel like he didn’t get a chance to say what he truly felt for you

• So he sucked it up and started properly communicating and occasionally showing affection aside from the seldom shoulder pat

• You off handedly brought up your relationship and how you noticed a change in him

• That got him talking about how he really felt

• Thus, the relationship bloomed

established relationship

• it takes him a comedically long time to realize being in a relationship usually means showing it

• god forbid you try to show him affection when someone else is around

• does some dramatic shit like rip his hand away and look at you like you kicked his dog or some shit

• whenever you’re in private tho? he won’t leave you alone. he’ll be sitting right next to you, shoulders touching at minimum at all times. holding your hand or having you lean on him

• he’ll probably kill you and then himself if someone catches you, but it’s worth it.. probably

• so, so touch starved. it’s sad

• anytime you two have a cute domestic moment, he gets really existential and weird

• to him, any sort of relationship is hard to find and even harder to keep due to how he lives, so you were a total enigma to him

• it all comes back to him being grateful you’re there

• if you tell a soul he said those words he’ll punch you in the throat

• anyways

• going on missions together is always a massive hit or miss

• you’re either the perfect duo, killing vamps like it’s nothing, or constantly arguing and unable to find a good method

• most times you’re a good duo, tho, hold onto that

• insanely protective and possessive of you. like, concerningly so sometimes

• if any of his teammates act a certain way around you? he’s staring. if they joke flirt w you? he’s there. if they try some shit? his hand is on your waist and he’s starting shit

• not to mention if shit goes sideways on a mission, he’s like an animal, it’s scary

• will either fully deny he’s like that or be like “duh, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t murder someone for you?? tf??”

• no in between

• loves food

• the way to his heart is thru food and a good drink

• whisky drinker probably

• make this man some home cooked food, give him a glass of cheap whisky, plant a kiss on him and he’s head over heels

• if he wasn’t favoring you before, he was now

• if you two ever fight, bringing him a plate of food will almost always make him more receptive to conversation

• listens a loooot better after a while of you two dating

• he becomes way less insufferable tbh

• overall, a very broody, protective partner who adores your presence in his life

NSFW

• low sex drive

• he just doesn’t really seek it out

• but catch him at the right moment, and he’s on you like a dog

• fresh off a mission, during a spar session or in the middle of an argument? he’s hard as a rock

• he’s an adrenaline junkie, so anything that gets his cortisol levels concerningly high turns him on

• he’s odd

• loves being kind of mean during it

• big into degradation, he thinks it’s so hot

• both ways, if you call him desperate or useless he’ll explode

• biting.

• he loves biting you and leaving a shit ton of marks

• he wants everyone to see that shit

• almost always plants a big bite right on your neck, it’s like his signature

• very proud

• always strives to make you as noisy as possible, abusing all of your weaknesses at once to achieve it

• orgasm denial is big on his list of yeses

• hearing you beg to cum gives him an insane power trip, and he’ll never get sick of it

• also makes an attempt to cum inside you every time, another ‘marking’ thing, but you think he just doesn’t wanna pull out

• you don’t blame him

• loves when you ride him, being able to look up at you and guide you through while not having to do as much work is heaven

• definitely holds you really tight no matter the position, he either holds your hips or wraps you up in a sort of hug

• even if he’s rough he still wants to be close to you

• very very selfless lover

• if you want it, he’ll go as long as you want him to

• still asks for some reciprocation from time to time and who would deny that face?

• he’s such a sucker for blowjobs oh my god

• fastest way to make him nut is probably giving him a bj

• he’s normally the grunting type, but he’ll get vocal during a blowie

• full blown whines and praise if you catch him in a really horny moment, he’d also have little to no restraint and try to fuck your face tbh

• he has a hard time roping in any of his physical impulses like holding too tight, pulling and pushing or whatever else, but he gets a handle on it eventually

• overall 10/10 good lay, definitely would be an even better hate-fuck

[emiliosandozsequence]

i stole this lol but it seemed fun so <3

What was your first ever story idea? What happened to it? it was a fantasy novel about an elf girl. i've never read a book where the main character is an elf, so i decided to write one myself. i did actually end up writing it; it was the first novel i ever wrote and i was 14 when i did it (still proud of that; it was 230 pgs in a word document btw). anyway, i ended up losing access to the manuscript, so rip, but i'm fully intending to rewrite it someday and make it a lot better than it was when i was writing it at 14.

What’s your writing routine? usually i'll put on music and just start writing whatever comes to mind for whatever scene i'm trying to write at the time. whenever i can't figure out what to do next, i'll go on tumblr and scroll for a bit until it comes to me. it's pretty effective, though my editor literally thinks i'm doing nothing all day bc of this even tho i Promise him i'm Working On It 😭😭😭

Are you a plotter, a pantser, or something in between? in between for sure. i plan things as i go. i start with an overall idea and then just...start writing and plan for the next chapters as they come to me. with the novel i'm currently writing, i've only planned up through chapter 8 and i'm currently writing chapter 4. i used to plan everything, but for some reason that made it so much harder for me to actually write the novels, so i don't do that anymore.

Do you try to tell moral stories throughout your work, or any other life lessons? What are they? there was a time where i did that, but the older i've gotten, the more i've realized a solid plot is a lot more important than telling any moral story. whether you like it or not, people are going to remember your book for the story you tell, not the reason you're telling it, and as a reader, i tend to go for stories with more solid plots than morals anyway.

What do you prefer, character development or worldbuilding? Why? both?? idk they both come very easily to me. to the point that there's been times where i think i haven't done enough of either and people have read my work and told me the opposite. i guess worldbuilding is more fun, but it's harder, which i think is probably why i like it more than character development bc that comes even easier to me than worldbuilding.

Do you have any tips for budding writers? i'll tell you exactly what my editor told me in the first class of his i took when i was 12: write like a shark. whatever you're writing, write it until it's done. go back and edit later. i've learned you can do a little bit of editing as you go once you've finished a few novels because then you know you can do it (speaking from experience; i've finished 7 and self-published 2 and am working on my 8th), but if you're new to writing and you haven't finished a book yet, don't do it. you will get caught up in it otherwise. especially if you have adhd (like i do).

Who inspires you to write the most? at the moment?? probably tamsyn muir. we have a shocking amount in common (our birthday's are literally a single day apart, though she's older than me by several years) and her books are exactly the kind of books i want to write. but also mary doria russell (duh) because we have very similar writing styles; ellen hopkins because she really was who really taught me (through me reading her books) how to write emotional stuff really well; brandon sanderson bc nothing is ever going to beat how i felt at the ending of the mistborn trilogy; and marie lu because her characters from the legend trilogy live in my mind rent free still and i can't help thinking of day every time i create a new boy.

tagging @thinking-in-broken-scenes @naysaltysalmon @the-lisechen and anyone else that wants to!! i just tagged people i know are also writers <3

[loumauve]

7 Comfort Movies

tagged by @foibles-fables, thank you buddy!!! <3

oh dear oh boy.. this is gonna be a real weird mix, y'all. here goes..

(in mostly alphabetical order bc that's how they're organised in my comfort films shelf, which also includes the Resident Evil series as well as all things related to Alien and Cube, and also American Mary fuck yeah ..bc I'm a weirdo)

Adult Life Skills. makes me cry. every time. without exceptions. but in like a good way. gotta have a little smidge of Jodie Whittaker on this list, too.

Annihilation. duh. obviously. so good. definitely a good distraction from anything else going on in my life. plus so much stuff to think about. (one day I will read the book this is based on. I stg)

Beyond the Ashes / Ash Tuesday. just so wonderful. I know the topic it deals with is pretty heavy, but it's about healing and coming together. and the power of poetry in crisis and the power of music and giant goth/punk boots. do recommend a watch. originally I used to only watch this via dailymotion bc I was in a Pauley Perrette phase, but it grew on me, with me, whatever you wanna call it, so I eventually caved and had to have an imported disc version for safety purposes, to keep close to my heart.

Dredd. what can I say, I just love some messed up future stuff. and Lena Headey. and it's just well made. love it. so good. 11/10. will watch again and again and again. (as with the rest of this list)

Edge of Tomorrow. again, with the messed up future stuff. add some time travel and Emily Blunt as an action badass, and of course I was sold. plus it helps that Tom Cruise keeps getting smushed like a bug. always a plus.

Sunshine Cleaning. hoo boy, I have cried. and cried. and cried. (sometimes I still cry over the lack of fanfic for Norah and Lynn. they are wonderful and I wish there was more of them. plus Norah is def a character I can hella relate to.) something about complicated, messy familial relationships will always get me. even if they are sisters and I only have a brother, it still hits hard. and the scene with the car radio, and the other scene with the sprinkler just fucking wreck me. (if you know you know) also The Decemberists' The Crane Wife 3 in the trailer, good lord. fuck me up

The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec. (the funny thing is that I have the DVD but I have never once watched it, bc it's in German and the only alternative on the disc is to watch the original French with German subtitles, and I'm just too used to watching the French with English subtitles version that I downloaded at some point.) anyway, Pterosaur set free in Paris, a goofy detective and a sillier big game hunter, a sister trying to bring her sister back to life, a talking mummy. just sheer wonderfulness, but will also probably make you cry if you are at all affected by, once again, complicated sibling relationships.

I shall tag @nerdsbianhokie @tjerra14 @aimofdestiny @melsunicornonesie @verbose-vespertine @shadowkira @damnwormholes

(as always: feel free to ignore this if you don't feel like it)

[fantasticalleigh]

Sadly we didn’t get goofy silly Punk much, I guess it’s because he’s tired from doing a bunch of house shows in a row and due to the cage match. (Otis danced the most out of anyone tbh, he had great energy last night.) After the final spectacle with the six men in the ring defeating Dominik, Kofi, Xavier and Santos, the show ended and he was already out by the barricade and started going around and signing stuff and taking selfies with people. I lingered for a while waiting to see if he was gonna do a little speech in the ring or something but he was taking too long so I’m pretty sure he didn’t, and a large part of the audience zipped out of the arena when the lights went on.

During that time Otis was by the camera and danced and slapped his butt and then kissed the camera and Dom and the other ‘villains’ literally crawled back up the ramp.

The show was so much fun and I’m so glad I got to go and finally see Punk wrestle live! What a far cry from my first show in March when he was still not medically cleared and I had no idea who he was. The CM Punk! Chants were going on all night. I had my McIntyre jersey on and blue everything and I got a couple stink eyes for that lol. I do wish we’d gotten to see more of the women—neither Iyo, Liv or Raquel came back out during the show after their match but it’s fine.

Liv is TINY. And she was practically skipping around the ring with her title before proclaiming herself the greatest women’s champ of all time. 🙄🙂‍↕️ Dominik wasnt there for this match. Iyo is amazing and got one of the biggest pops of the night (along with Rey, Punk (duh), and LA Knight).

Kofi and Xavier came out as a surprise and interrupted poor Byron Saxton and were yelling at the people at the tech desk by the giant screens. Everyone immediately started booing them so we couldn’t hear what they were saying but from what I’ve seen of their bit from the other house shows is that they don’t want to use the classic New Day theme anymore.

Did Liv get a new theme and I never noticed?? Or have I just not listened to the full track lol bc it sounded different last night but still really good.

At the end of the tag team match between the AOP and Wyatt Sicks, Erick was the last one in the ring and the rocking chair was by the ring so he went and put the lantern in it and dragged the chair up the (super short) ramp. Dexter was at the barricade interacting with a fan and I didn’t see what he was doing but (still in character) Erick wagged his finger at Dexter and sent him up to the giant screen. The rest of the Sicks were gone but Nikki was still up there trying to steal an inflatable Santa and walk backstage with it. Erick stopped her, took the snowman and put it back but when he had his back turned she ran and stole it again and everyone cheered 😂

Dom did his classic bit of taking the mic and trying to speak to the audience halfway through the match with Rey but of course nobody could hear him bc of the booing. The “DEJENME HABLAR!! 🥺🤬” kills me every time. The family sitting next to me was clearly new to the WWE and were speaking mostly Spanish to each other during the show. At one point I shouted “DALE LA CHANCLA” to Rey when he was beating Dom and the parents lost their shit and laughed.

Naturally since it’s a Chicago show most of the merch was Punk’s. But I didn’t see a single offering for Liv or Iyo which. Kind of annoying.

Seth and Chad did a little game during their match where, since everyone was booing Chad and doing the YOU SUCK! chant during the American Made theme, Seth was so amused by it that he made a game of picking random people around the barricade and lifting their arms to see who we would cheer for. And as long as it wasn’t Chad we would cheer lol.

Xavier and Kofi said that our teams suck (which: fair. We’re having a bad time rn 🤔) and that we haven’t seen greatness in a long time and probably never will again, but now that they were there in town we should thank them. 😒

Smackdown confirmed returning to Chicago in early April 🫠🫠🫠 the temptation is real but the wallet is weak. Any time a show is in Chicago Punk finds a way to be in it even if he isn’t on the roster. And with Drew and his current entanglement with the new Bloodline, dare I hope for a double sighting if I go? I need to see my boi live BAD. And preferably in a match. I’ve seen Drew live for a promo but not for a match yet.

[gristlegrinder]

tag screenshot 1: #see also: i could write you a whole essay on the plush elder dragon trinkets #<- prev I would be thrilled to read that #I didn’t even realise there could be meaning behind those stats and will now look at the wiki page for every plush dragon #guild wars 2

tag screenshot 2: #yes yes yes and also UR TAG ABOUT THE STUFFIES #yes please write it cus i feel the same #i wish so badly theyd turn them into homestead decos #or something bc their icons are so cute and i love the flavor text

YES OKAY this took me a bit to get back to but!! elder dragon infodumping!!!! as fair warning, i am not an expert on buildcraft, but i’m trying my best.

anyways, i think all of the dragon plushies are actually really interesting viewed as deliberate character choices for each of them, both in terms of general vibes and how those stat combinations work. here are all of my thoughts, in story order:

zhaitan has grieving (power, condition damage, precision, ferocity) stats. first off, in the game, grieving stats are deeply intertwined with relics of the dead, beyond just the melancholic name. most of the gear that comes preloaded with grieving stats is in some way associated with death and burial— funerary armor and weapons and trinkets from the tomb of the primeval kings, the elegy armor set from season 4, and halloween weapons like the carapace of chaos. intact elegy mosaics are literally tiles that were originally laid inside of the tombs of monarchs, displaying representations of their triumphs in battle (which is why you receive them from bounties and metas). there’s a very specific vibe that grieving gear comes packaged with, and while it’s not necessarily orrian, it is very much in theme with zhaitan’s interests and domain. and, more than anything, zhaitan has everything to mourn. “like all ruins, they become what they are, not what they held” is a reflection on orr, but it’s an insight that also suggests a family dynamic that has been left to degrade. zhaitan’s death was always going to be the beginning of the end, and it’s implied that he had always accepted that.

as a stat combination, grieving is a hybrid power/condi set where your conditions don’t last very long, but you can maximize bursts of damage output by focusing on crits. necromancers have always been the favored profession for grieving builds— scourge (at least historically) does really well with it in world vs world, and grieving gear is still used on condition reaper builds, where most of its condi damage comes from maximizing bleeds on a grandmaster trait and it otherwise prioritizes power damage. giving it to the undead freak seems like the obvious choice. but also, the stats and the playstyle feels appropriate for zhaitan in other ways. he lacks the defensive toughness/vitality attributes of his family, and is in some ways the weakest dragon; caught off-guard by the pact assault and blinded and starved. like, he can cause massive destruction through direct assault (see: claw island), but it’s easy to take him down once you know where his weaknesses are (and any survivability associated with grieving builds is less about the stats and more just that you’re probably playing necro).

also, it feels fitting that zhaitan is the halloween dragon. i don’t really have much to say about that other than the obvious— during halloween, the barrier between tyria and the mists weakens, and the underworld is within reach through the mad king’s realm. so it’s death, death, death.

mordremoth uses trailblazer’s (toughness, condition damage, vitality, expertise) gear. this is one of the heart of thorns’ prefixes, although nothing really comes in trailblazers stats besides the gear you get from its crafting recipes. it’s kind of an interesting one, in that i have no idea who the trailblazer archetype is supposed to be. commander’s gear is the commander (duh), vigilant armor is associated with the vigil and laranthir, viper’s is for the forgotten, wanderer’s is for the exalted, and minstrel’s gear is largely associated with the virtues of the bardic profession. i would almost venture to guess that trailblazer’s is a prefix that is meant to represent the hylek, or even the jungle itself— first obtainable in tangled depths as you venture deeper into mordremoth’s nest. either way, the jungle provides.

(also, fun fact, trailblazer’s gear is crafted with maguuma lilies, and one of the only other uses for them is in crafting an orb of natural essence when reforging caladbolg. haha.)

trailblazer’s gear is surprisingly solid all-purpose condi gear for open world and wvw, having a lot of personal durability without sacrificing too much condition damage. mordremoth is a tanky guy who bites hard— he and zhaitan are similar beasts in fights like harvest temple, loving poison AOEs and fears (so many poison AOEs), but mordremoth throws his own weight around more, with headbutts and crowd control skills. mordremoth is the most hardened of the six of them with that toughness, as well. he’s a character that sees the world in terms of domination and submission, but also as an existence that requires the constant challenge of survival. anything in the jungle can eat you if you can’t defend yourself.

i think it’s interesting that you get plush mordy during lunar new year, and plush ess during SAB. for the longest time, i could not figure out the reasoning for that, especially since soo-won is tied so closely to cantha— and then it hit me. the heart of thorns campaign lasted from 30 zephyr to 74 zephyr, meaning the initial assault and mordremoth’s call would have been around the equivalent of january 30th, right around when the new year starts. his plush is commemorating that. discovering this while writing all of this did make me shout and i am now sharing it with you.

kralkatorrik uses diviner’s (power, concentration, precision, ferocity). this is one of two stat combinations introduced during season 4, alongside plaguedoctor’s gear for the joko half of the season, and it has a lot of personal connections to kralky: frodak steelstar (the ascended namesake) assisted glint in crafting the original dragonsblood spear, diviner’s gear is crafted with branded masses, and dragonsblood weapons in-game are diviner’s pieces. there’s also perhaps the obvious connection between “divination” and the prophetic sight that kralkatorrik, glint, and aurene all possess. it’s kind of kralkatorrik, it’s kind of glint, and it’s all family trauma all the way down.

not a lot of meta power boon support builds actually use diviner’s gear, though, because a lot of them reach concentration cap without it. whatever. it’s more interesting that kralkatorrik is a boon support build. concentration as a defining attribute gives him an almost mystic vibe, in line with both the visions he’s had in the past and the connection to the mists he gains from consuming part of balthazar. he’s wise beyond his years, but also hurting tremendously under the burden of all of the magics inside of him. he’s still primarily a dps build, because destroying everything will cease the torment inside of his head, but he has further insight into the weight of the cycle, and he does find ways to support the commander and aurene in moments of clarity.

finally, plush kralk is available during the festival of the four winds, which is both a summery festival and one largely centered around the zephyrites— so again, it all circles back around to glint.

jormag’s plushie uses bringer’s (expertise, precision, vitality) stats. it’s one of the two prefixes associated with wintersday, being crafted with snowflakes and found exclusively on wintersday rewards outside of crafting. hooray hooray. admittedly there isn’t much going on with bringer’s gear outside of tixx and wintersday. like, okay, jormag is associated with snow, and icebrood corruption is often framed as a gift bestowed upon the lucky. what else is there to say? but i do think you could also draw parallels between jormag’s vision of the world encased in endless winter and the original spirit of wintersday, grenth and dwayna (child and mother, even!) fighting over the changing of the seasons and their cycles.

bringer’s gear is uh… nobody really uses it because it’s not good. it has no damage or any real synergy between its stats. from what i understand, bringer’s gear is (in theory) largely best at focusing on non-damaging conditions— meaning you mostly use it as a supplement mixed with more damage-heavy pieces. i think the lack of damage on their stats is really interesting, both in contrast to primordus (and everybody else, really) and in that it highlights how jormag doesn’t like getting their own claws dirty in a fight if they don’t have to. they’re largely enabling somebody else’s ability to do damage on their behalf, like with ryland. the conditions that benefit the most from bringers are also generally non-damaging, movement-based conditions— such as, most fittingly for jormag, chill. it’s very much jormag’s style, and claw of jormag is always a never ending cycle of being chilled over and over again get me out get me out get me out—

as discussed, plush jorms is the wintersday collectible and there’s not much more to say about it. obvious pick. i think jormag can cloak the world in eternal winter if they want. my one additional comment is like, hey, side note, do you guys ever start thinking about how jormag’s blood canonically tastes like peppermint?

primordus, meanwhile, uses marauder’s (power, precision, vitality, ferocity) gear. of all of the prefixes, marauder has the least to do with primordus thematically out of all of the stat combinations— it’s associated with pirates and mariners, originally having a connection to grymm svaard from the sea of sorrows novel and in more recent times being retroactively associated with the aetherblades. the crafting materials don’t really resonate with primordus, nor do the characters associated with any related gear. this one, i think, is meant to be all about the actual use case for marauder’s gear, more than anything else. unless you could, like, maybe make some argument about naval marauding + barbed thorns (primarily dropping from mushrooms, mordrem, and treants/druids) suggest an association with draconis mons and the ring of fire, but that feels like a stretch to me.

so, marauder’s gear is about raw power damage, but it’s more protective than berserkers— its what you take if you just want to hit things until they’re dead, but you also don’t want to die immediately. he’s not tough, though; it’s a vitality build. he’s not mordremoth, who has armored himself against the world. primordus is soft under the surface, warm lava under volcanic rock— he can protect himself, but he doesn’t want to throw himself into fights until it hurts too much to do anything else. he’s a character that hides underground in the depths of tyria, and any destruction in his wake erupts recklessly when he’s provoked. now, that destruction comes in instantaneous, hard-hitting bursts, meteor strikes and wildfire blazes, but at least they’re over quick.

you can get him during dragon bash, which in its modern iteration is largely associated with the dragonstorm. and braham’s there in hoelbrak! braham’s his best friend! also, dragon bash and wintersday are on direct opposite ends of the year (june/july and december/january). that’s real balance, baby. although, i do tend to forget that dragon bash is considered a summer festival when its events are placed in the shiverpeaks.

lastly, soo-won uses ritualist’s (vitality, condition damage, concentration, expertise) gear. it’s one of the two prefixes added in end of dragons, and soo-won is deeply tied to cantha— it’s where the world, her world, started; and it’s where her world ended. you tie ritualist’s gear to spirit-workers who were pulling magic from the void of the mists long before the six arrived in tyria, when all we had were the dragons. additionally, the luxon weapons are ritualist’s gear, tying her to their traditionally-seafaring culture. i also think it’s fun to associate her with togo’s ascended gear, when togo is called the defender of cantha, something soo-won and kuunavang have similarly stepped up as in the wake of the tsunami following the rising of orr.

it’s our other boon support build, although it just feels different than kralkatorrik’s diviner’s set. i think that’s because ritualist’s isn’t really the direct condition-based equivalent of diviner’s gear, as it sacrifices power for additional vitality. it feels like we ultimately met a soo-won that has been divided into two, between the maternal character that she is— soft, protective, resigned to her mistakes— and the corrupting void that she has always carried inside of her. soo-won is, by all accounts, not a particularly violent dragon, not until the dragonvoid finally wraps its tendrils around her. (unless they’re planning some fun lore drops whenever we get the deep sea horror expansion). so, while kralkatorrik is primarily a dps character who happens to have boons, soo-won feels like a character who was originally more support-oriented, but now has more of a bite, one that’s been festering and threatening to spread.

plush ess is available during super adventure festival. we’ve already discussed why mordremoth is associated with lunar new year instead of soo-won, but i think it’s also fun to associate soo-won with SAB when she’s the most technologically-forward of the dragons, shedding her excess magic into the energized jade that powers cantha. i think soo-won could have been a gamer if joon gave her the opportunity.

dragons! rawr!

i’m always delighted when i realize the gw2 devs have done something playful with the stat combos on gear. right now i’m looking at the sinful weapons from SOTO for reasons, and you should’ve seen the big goofy grin on my face when i realized they gave the greed weapon (avarice’s command) celestial stats… because it wants a little bit of everything

also envy’s bite having vipers stats, despair’s lament and regret’s memory both having grieving, rage’s fist having berserkers…….. very cute 10/10

[earthdeep]

brain's being a lil bitch abt focussing today so I guess I'll ramble to clear the gunk out

thinking more abt the m/f post from yesterday and like, before saying anything else I will hold my hands up and say I do have quite a few m/f ships I like and will happily seek content of. I know, shock horror. I guess I don't write it very much, but like the number of ships I've written literally anything for is smth I can count on my hands. my brain's just kinda picky about romance. but that doesn't stop me having, like, mercedes/sylvain as my preferred pairing for both of them, or whatever. if a ship's cute, it doesn't need to be constrained by gender, fucking duh.

but at the same time. if someone does one of those ol' tag spam things, and goes ~these are my top 10 ships for Designated Media Property No.69420!~ and literally all of them are m/f, my hackles are fucking raised. even if they insist that they also headcanon them all as bi, bc the fucking statistics of still not having ANY same gender ships? listen, I know it's more common in real life for bi people to have alt gender partners, but that's bc ppl often end up pairing off with ppl who aren't bi, and the straight option is gonna be more plentiful than the gay option. but if all the characters you're playing with are bi, then that shouldn't be a trend?? so like, do all of them think everyone else is straight? do you just really like writing about heteronormativity? I don't get it.

for the record, my hackles are raised if every ship on that kinda list is m/m too. like seriously, no women allowed at all? you SURE you don't want to get invested in their relationships too??? don't know about that one chief...

dunno how I'd react to an all f/f list though. I have literally never seen one lol.

[baekuras]

Have stopped my binge of The Walking Dead (during season 9 just like last time I dropped it 😭 I am trying but also...tired so breaktime from that) to actually go watch Fear (the walking dead also bc duh) because I started it when it began but then took a break when it was on break till the new season and just never came back to it Anyhow I do also quite enjoy it (altho rip to I think season 4 which made me irate for many reasons at the beginning but then calmed down some so I am back to enjoying things) and the characters etc but I also am definitely going in it looking for comedy Didn’t do that for the main show as much because that was a rewatch But by now any media I consume I WILL make fun of (lovingly) or try to imagine funny scenes because...duh

i actually wanted to put all my other ramblings in the tags but there is was too much coming to mind with every word i write even though my memory can be shit so...readmore it is Watched till season 6 episode 5 so basically spoilers up to that

anyhow rip nick your chaos will be missed

i do also think the moment i rly decided to go make fun of everything lovingly(I need you to understand I genuinely mean that because I also did cry a lot during appropriate moments) was when nick & troy had their joyride through the horde at the ranch like yep everyone is stuck in the pantry slowly dying and also how the FUCK did we get here but also fuck it I’m in WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO CARCRASH

also fuck troy for being high on the “actual assholes i enjoy watching list” because while everyone of those got murder there why did he have to just casually sprinkle in some soft racism? or casual racism? i was about to say “not shoot on sight-racism” because rhe does do that...or I believe he would but that’s more a “humans are alive” thing than a “oh god is that a native american human ALIVE” thing....that’s his dad-may he rest in fucking hell forever dear GOD did his kids deserve better than his shitty ass making problems present past and future FUCK THAT man he is NOT on my “assholes who i actually like on screen” list

like my mood basically went from “urgh oh god fuck he’s a racist shithole.” to “oh FUCK he’s a child abuser racist shithole WHY DON’T YOU KEEP ADDING ON LET’S GET A FLAMETHROWER A GUN ISN’T ENOUGH HERE” (i think that’s basically about where i’ll end my opinions on the whole ranch shebang because any details may be missed by yours truly not being american so i am not going to know most details on treatment of native americans in the current age or age when this was filmed beyond the “oh yeah it’s shit” bits although I will mention that Taqa’s whole “he stole my ancestors land” at the beginning bothered me until it was revealed that “oh this dickbag actually shot his family like in the current time not 500years ago okay yeah no go off baby have fun”....and also that i only now learned his name was spelled w/ a q dear god everyones accent had me confused on his name for the longest time and his last name is ACTUALLY Walker why does it have to sound so same i am so bad with names aaaaaaah qwq anyhow rip him i was confused until now if his name was Walker(actual last nime), Tucker(which does not fit), Taka(also doesnt fit because it seemed more japanese to me but between the 3 options my brain presented was the most fitting so.....but noppe....a fucking q....just right there.....I’ll take the L and also where the fuck did this man even fuck off to)

speaking of fucking off: Rip to Nick, you blew up a damn only to die w/out any further character development afterwards 2 episodes later and then just got to hang out in the background in the past parts of future episodes

WHICH BY THE WAY IRRITATED ME SO MUCH not the Nick died thing but yes just from a “we are starting a new storyline for this-oops he dead :D” point yes it’s urgh But the flip-flopping from Past to present to past no present pastpresentpastofpewwgvszujsiop aneurysm of storytelling Like Okay So we start with new characters i have yet to give a shit about (and morgan who i have yet to give a shit about...again) to then go back to our oldies and THEN they fight and it’s a mess but now they’re friends somewhere between the past being shown and everyone fighting and manipulating and Al filming Nick’s dead body and me yet having to give a shit about anyone except for John because he seemed sweet and that’s about it what the actual fuck so yeah i skipped most of that until it calmed the fuck down but by then I was mostly annoyed by Al(i like her now but at the beginning i was mostly like “yeah yeah you got a big fuck you truck and like being an asshole to people and just bother and annoy them for a video-did great on youtube huh didn’t you now how about you actually do something helpful and get your ass out WITHOUT being a dickhead?” kinda deal....we got so far in terms of me actually giving a shit about her lol)

speaking of new character or oldes ones returning, Dwight! my boy! continuing being shot in various limbs to then stumble around (how is that a trend i notice) also rip his hairline because I am pretty sure between the main show and fear the makeup artists added more scarring to that scar-which i dont mind but is also kinda funny to imagine (like sir negan didnt burn you THAT much where did you find the rest or is it just the way you part your hair?) regarding hair post haircut&shave&further haircut later: who is this  man and what have you done with the  burned rat from before? anyhow i still like him and i kiiiiinda wish Morgan was a character who would have been more involved about the past simply because I’d have liked to see them chat about it-not even anything heavy but just about what happened, how everyone was doing after Dwight went away because Morgan was still there for a bit at least, or idk just a bit more remembrances of where they came from sprinkled in there

I mean we do have Morgan and his staff stuff still which I do actually enjoy, and ofc lately Dwight showing off his fancy torture skills ala....music like the good old saviour days but i want more xp

which goes back to another moment i had to chuckle at in my head even if it wasnt funny because Sherry basically went “We will hunt Virigina down and kill her and end all of this” to which Dwight basically went “okay i got my torture gear ready, got a plan and am ready to do some murder lets go” //insert Sherry shocked pikachu face-meme here I keep forgetting she left before shit got really real and heavy  but like....yeah honey here is your husband back he comes with some extra baggage but also....you were there when he was part of fucking Daryl up what are you surprised by? That he’d literally kill for you and abandon what he built with the others if need be? bitch he followed you across the country for god knows how long-it’s Dwight! of course he would sweety please although i would like him to just tear some ass  because there were many a moment where i though it justified but yes yes we go keep being peaceful now-and that’s good! mostly because the main cast we actually like and care about isn’t dropping like flies but i did also have fun w/ the whole war between the saviour and everyone else soooooooo....yeah chaos reigns

also shoutout randomly to the not-yet-radioactive kids+others who just disappeared from the story long enough to make me wonder if the writers forgot about them and then they appeared in the next episode lol

also random shoutout to john&june because they are adorable and cool and work well together as a team and couple i really like them

backpaddling to earlier again because rip alicia because if we timeline was in order it wouldnt have gone down in that order but just watching it she went from losing her brother to her mother dipping out shortly after her favourite child died like “woops sorry but i’ll go sacrifice myself now go take care of yourself now w/out your family like before” although last time someone started a fire and was dead they didn’t stay that way so...eh who knows let Madison return and fuck more shit and people up in her desperate attempt to keep her family alive(oops) and make things better but also kill anyone if she has to but at least she has nightmares about it <3

did I already mention I also had to laugh at Chris AND Travis’ deaths? not because they died because yeah sad i guess but A I didn’t like Chris at all so I was happy and B dear god this teen really went with some dumb ragtag dudebros who just shot their friend to death for a hurt leg (what is he? a horse? grow up) and then wanted o be hip and cool driving their car and crashed it and THEN got shot for the same thing you FUCKING IDIOT I am very much on the side of “let the kids go out and do stuff they can survive and aren’t 12″ but also chris my guy are you perhaps stupid or an idiot? prime teenage behaviour 10/10 made me hate him not for anything i’d consider bad writing but just for being a shithead i’d have known in highschool

Travis’ death made me laugh simply because of how abrupt it was and also how he just yeeted himself out the plane like yes a walker in there while they’re busy crashing down is bad but also lol (also Taqa going to the leftovers with Alicia all proud they shot it out the sky...................i also had to laugh because DUDE YOU ARE NOT DOING THAT....bitch is proudly showing off his kill from the wanna-be military ranch and it’s basically her dads corpse in the context of things.....like........i am dying xDD you can not be serious what was the plan here other than showing off? and then immediately having to feel a bit bad about it because woops killed the wrong man)

also trav dying via neck bullet vs morgan surviving heart bullet for over a month and being just fine after it got out travis forgot his plot armor rip v-v

[starfilledsea]

is it actually a good ship or were you just starved for gay rep when you first saw them

[yellow-computer-mouse]

oooooo tysm for tagging us !!!!

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

We're (almost) all fictives! There's also some therians and fictionkins rattling around :)

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

Polites is a cat therian, Anya is catkin and Peril fictionkin, and Icicle is (duh) Icicle fictionkin! Also, our old host Jimmy was a coyote.

We. Can't list off every one of our fictives. But we're sourced from

Wings of Fire

UTMV

Epic: the Musical

Mouthwashing

Parks & Rec

Malcolm in the Middle

Rot in Paradise

Super Mario Bros

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

Uhhh the core's most common shift was paws. Phantom paws. We don't really get any anymore, bc most of us don't front to get them, but Polites gets a phantom tail all the time!

But yeah, ears, tails, and wings! :)

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

It definitely affects our personalities a lot. Jimmy used to have really bad freakouts all the time because his source was a terrible person, and all the hate on that character transferred over to him.

We also. Bark at people. Jimmy was the most common one to do this, but some of us still do lol

5/ What do you think of the community?

Uh fire!! I love you guys!! We do need to work on the infighting though. Cut that shit out.

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

BEING. CALLED. BY OUR NAMES oh my goodness i SWEAR if you call us by our names irl we will love you forever

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

Not yet! Huzzah! The core definitely did, though.

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

Don't take it too seriously. You don't have to know exactly what you are, and you don't have to prove yourself to anyone.

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

YES. OH MY GOD. Tail, ears, hand em over now.

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

Fictive 👍

Um but for everything else it's kinda just. We Are Now. it's weird idk lol

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈

@sombrathedragon @willoillo @mewos-laptop @elliott-the-creature @the-crystal-femmes @crystal-cluster-collective @yellowrabbitfurry @moon-and-fries /nf :)

If you are a alterhuman, reblog and answer these questions!

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

5/ What do you think of the community?

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈

[lxstfuck]

Hey There :) saw that your taking requests so I thought i would ask away.

I was hoping to ask for either a Akaashi x Y/N (female) or an Ushijima x Y/N.

I don't mind the nature of the NSFW, just that the reader would be a little chubby (much like myself) and that they have a breeding kink. Have a little thing for that the moment 😆

You can chose which character, as they both on my top simp list at the moment 😂😂

If you want any more info jsut let me know :)

Looking forward to reading it soon :)

A/N: i decided to do both bc I'm a sucker for them as well. They're submissive and breedable

Tags: breeding kink (duh), top fem reader, chubby reader (Don't like, don't read), praise, titty sucking, pegging.

«Fill me up!»

Akaashi was known for being a calm man. A man who had the girls lining up to get a taste of him but oh little did they know the skilled man was not interested. He had fallen for the girl he loved the most, y/n. She got a lot of hate because she was a little chubby but that didn't stop her from being with him. He adored her. Everyone thought he had you on his slim finger, when it really was the other way around.

“Mommy please!”

Yes. He was reduced to crumbs when it came to you.

“Such a good boy Keiji, taking me so well.” Praise rolled off your tongue and he repeated your name like a prayer as you slid inside of him. He was tired and he wanted nothing but praise and lots of love from you. “Open your eyes baby.” You said softly as you left a trail of kisses on his jawline and neck. He was facing you, legs wrapped on your sides and up until now his head was thrown back and his eyes closed. Whenever it came to you he couldn't keep in his excitement.

“Gonna look so pretty hmm, gonna make me a real mommy?” You ask even though you're inside of him. He nods hurriedly and he can't help but bounce on the plastic dick and bury his head in your neck. A bright blush covering up to his ears and gasp leaving him as his body shivered in pleasure.

“Cum! Cumming!” You chuckled and you snake your hand to his throbbing cock and start pumping him.

Loud moans left his lips and his slim body trembled in anticipation as he came. Both of your bodies covered up in his seed and sweat. You lick your lips as you look at the little mess he was.

“That load was supposed to go inside me. But you can do that again, right?”

Let's say it was a long night.

It all had started with a simple action. Your husband, Ushijima, had seen a couple with a baby and it all came down to this. A hot night with his wife.

Right now you were on top of him, his cock sunk up inside you as he lifted his hips up and down in a hurried pace. Almost like he was in heat and he was longing for release. But he knew better than that. He knew he had an adorable wife that he needed to please as well and he does. He grabs your sides, plush thighs and sometimes his hands would travel to your breasts and play with them. He would suck at your sensitive bud and bite it softly.

“Gonna fill you up good mommy” He mumbles as he buries his head in your neck with a low grunt. “I can right? Please let me fill you up."

I between soft moans and breathy moans you tell him he's been a good boy and if he makes you cum first you would allow him to cum inside. And that only made him burn up in lust even more. Sweet boy was so focused on making you cum he started sucking on your tits even harsher and you couldn't tell him to stop or even to punish him because he was being so cute like this.

“Lay down" You say and he does. He whines when he lost the touch of your silky walls in his dick but eventually he got it back. “Let mommy milk you dry hm?"

He nods frantically as you start going up and down in his length. He just sighed and lowly grunted at the sensation and view. He loved your body. He loved every curve, every part and everything you hated, he loved it. He lifted his hips and grabbed yours to keep you there but you only slapped his hands away as he whined.

“me first big boy” you said greedily as you fastened the pace. Up and down. And sometimes in circles. He moved his hand to your clit, playing with it and you couldn't help but laugh at this because he looked so desesperate to cum. His eyes looking how his cock disappeared in between your legs.

You leaned in and kissed him while you moaned while cumming.

“Our babies will look adorable”.

Was the last thing you say before feeling full of him. You stayed there literally riding the orgasm.

•••

HDHXJDJXJD ITS DONE. IT'S SHORT AND IM SORRY. HOPE YOU LIKED IT THO!

Requests are always open and in my Master list you will find my other works and rules! Stay safe out there!