#not surprised they're on my repeats list just surprised they're so high

[grapecaseschoices]

Got tagged by @quaxorascal  to screenshot and share the top five songs on my On Repeat playlist. (judge not)

I am tagging @chargeortega @lizzybeth1986 @laufire @plasticdodecagon @amlovelies @amlovelies (which other one of you lovelies playlists/has spotify? idr, but if you wanna do this just at me!!) 

[yourcutelittlegayfriend]

Chapter 2 : A New Reset, An Old Story.

Warning: low qual english + corny/cringey usage of it, lots of cursing, emotional stuff, weird hallucinations, bad editing I guess?, was someone there before?, Can someone pick me up? MC is being weird.

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How do you act when you feel like your day keeps repeating?.

Would you be content? to just go with the flow? to memorize each of your steps, actions or words?.

Or, would you go crazy? lose your mind and sanity? to see red dancing on the edge of your eyes if you keep remembering the shit that keeps happening to you?.

I would, especially if you went through what I did, all effort I did just gone with one bullet from a gun, from a high fall, a kidnapping gone wrong, get killed by a villian, a sword, a freak accident or maybe just one very very bad day.

Gripping my seatbelt I wait for Commissioner Gordon to open the car's door and let me out, stepping out of the police car with it's siren and lights off, I stand on the graveled road that leads to the stone steps of the old and dark mansion I knew too well.

A little scribbles pops in my vision roughly crossing the mansion as if it's giving it an evil and snarling look of a giant man eating beast.

The older man gently stir me up to the porch and I watch as he ring the doorbell - The tiny mean words and drawings floating around the door flew away from the sound - on the side of the giant doors as we wait for anyone to answer.

Tensing when I heard someone's familiar shoes thudding on the otherside of the closed entrance, I step back as I grabbed Gordon's coat and braced myself to put up a new face again.

'By now Alfred should open the doors and be surprised to meet us'. a little tiny voice said by my ear as they hide behind my back- peeking over my shoulder as if they were scared even though they're not the one confronting them anyway.

As soon as they're guess was right, I observe the old event unfolding in front of me seeing Gordon hand Alfred a manila folder and show him what I knew was my DNA test and citizen papers and profile inside.

I stare blankly at Alfred who looked at me with slight pity and worry after he heard that Gordon personally escorted me here because I was supposed to be relocated to my biological father custody more than a few months ago.

'Would have prefer to stay there as well but the broody asshole insisted on one of the last resets and got my hopes up just to go back to becoming #1 fucked up dad on my list'

'Yeah! he's such an asshole!' The voice pipe up with a snort and a laugh while leaning on my shoulder.

I turn back to Commissioner Gordon one last time as he drove off as I sadly wave goodbye from the door before side eyeing the butler who was already watching me.

"Would you like some tea young master?". He kneels down and hold out a hand to me.

I stare at his face as I see glimpse of scratches around the air and scribbles on his face - crude lines to circle around his only slightly older look - a wobbly arrow to point at the small cracks of wrinkles on the edge of his eyes and a small older doodle of him from my old memories comparing his age before a glitch switching between halo to devil horns floated above his head.

Blinking two times suddenly everything turned back to normal as I look at him again properly and I study his white gloved hand before grabbing it in a practiced motion as I keep on with the old scrip that I memorize long ago.

Walking close to him I follow as we pass long dark hallways that was only illuminated the flashing of lightning during the current storm and a few dark oakwood doors each one seemed taller and more menacing than the last as we entered a fairly large kitchen that I grew to love and spent most of my time in before.

He led me to an kitchen island with a marbled top so shiny I can see my face's reflection clearly along with a few stool chair with actual leather covers and I carefully climb before proceeding to watch him prepare me a tea and some of his prized cookies.

While waiting I got lost in my thoughts as I re-assess on what to do in this reset.

'What do I do now? does it even matter?'

'Do we even matter?' the small voice questioned in my ear.

I remember the times I try to use the past knowledge I have to get closer to them but........

'nothing really works for us anyway' again they lean in my shoulder and reply with a whisper.

No matter how hard I try, everything I sacrificed, anything I do nothing happens, sure there were some................. progress but I always get cut off by another death.

'We're just born to do this shit all over again' they spit out now with anger in their voice while I hear their teeth grinding together and their sharp nails digging on my skin.

If nothing else works then.......

Looking down at my bandage hand filled with little doodles from the other children in the orphanage and some cute yet old sticky cartoon bandaids, I relaxed my small hands on the flat marbled surface and breathe out.

I got nothing to lose, 2790 resets made me understand how dumb and starved I am for attention and love.

'So hungry and leaving us Starving-!' They groan and wail in pain before vanishing away.

Snapping my head up I see Alfred gently pushing a nice steaming cup of tea in front of me as well as some cookies on a plate.

I slowly reach out and take the cup before blowing on the warm tea then taking a tiny sip and relish the hidden memories that this tea have brought me.

As I stare at my reflection I see it ripples as my hands shake and my body soon followed as I sniffled and hiccup, Alfred the ever gentleman that he is carefully took a hold of the tea cup as I cry finally cry out.

I cry till my eyes are puffy, I cry as let all the pain I have endured for so long, I cry out and childishly try to wipe off my snot as I asked for my mother to come back.

I cry because

I can.

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After finishing my tea and the cookies Alfred asked me if I wanted to wait for 'my father' before I go to my 'new' bedroom.

I see them in the corner as the shadows collects on that side and rise up to reach the ceiling 'They' shook their head and blared a large rough 'X' in the air then disappear with a flash of lighting come through from the large windows.

"No,...... it's fine maybe tomorrow". I said looking down before turning up to Alfred and set my plan in motion.

"Mr. Alfred?". I asked as I gently tugged on his slacks making him look down to me.

"Yes young master?". He angles down to me as he put away the dried dishes.

I see 'their' wide and sharky smile behind Alfred's shoulder before popping back down behind his back.

"Can I stay with you?". I asked tightening my hold on him.

'From now on, nothing else matters except you.........If we can't get a family out of this shitty one then We'll make a new one' They murmur down while twirling a small baby hair on my nape.

But first-

We'll have to prepare for a little reunion.

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U I A U I A A U U I I A

Taglist later because I'm now entertaining food coma bleh *dies*

[bengiyo]

Shuffle your on-repeat playlist and then list the first ten songs!*

*any playlist on any platform will do!

I was tagged by @troubled-mind and @lurkingshan. I suppose it's time to see how much synthwave has taken over my listening. I use Spotify, but I'll leave links to YouTube for easier access.

Can't Stop Falling in Love - W O L F C L U B - This is definitely a byproduct of basically doing mixes of The Midnight, who are probably my favorite current band. I love the simplicity of this song's lyrics and the strength of the drums underpinning the emotions.

Into the Light - J.Views (feat. Wildclub) - I just really love the vocals of this so much. It's a song about being a bit lost in yourself and finding your way out through another person, and then going forward together. I don't think this song has left my On Repeat in over three years.

Los Angeles - The Midnight - I really love when songs about cities feel really specific to them. This feels like an homage to nights in LA in a way that I find makes me yearn for a place I've never been outside of movies. The Midnight have been the first band to really shake up my listening habits in a long time.

Summer Love - Trevor Something - This is another byproduct of The Midnight listening. I like this song because a lot of songs about summer love sound like they're for teenagers, but this feels adult in a nostalgic way. Do the 20 somethings even drop acid anymore?

Dawn / Sea - Dem Yuut - I don't think this song will ever leave this playlist. There's something so honest about admitting you wanna know "what it feels like when you can't quit it."

1984 (Reprise) - Siamese Youth - The primary appeal of synthwave and outrun is 80s nostalgia. I was born in the 90s, but many of my favorite movies were made in the 80s and there's a sense constantly that things took a turn after that.

Seasons (Waiting on You) - Future Islands - If I don't see them live in the next few years I will lose my cool. Prior to COVID, Future Islands spent most of their time on the road, and many of their songs are about how they feel distant from all of the people they love. Sam Herring has a knack for poetry in his lyrics, and I often think about the line "People change, but you know some people never do. You know when people change, they gain a peace but they lose one too."

Gloria - The Midnight - They were bound to show up multiple times on this list. This song kind of feels like a high in the midst of a manic episode.

Sleepwalker - The Wallflowers - This one is kind of surprise. I don't remember listening to The Wallflowers that much recently. I love Jakob's voice, and I think I was amused by his reference to Sam Cooke's song Cupid in this track.

Ran - Future Islands - My biases remain so consistent. Most of the time this is my favorite Future Islands song. It's hard to love people when you're far away from them, and I like the way this song captures that from the perspective of a band always on the road.

That was a lot of fun! I am kinda glad that some of my classic obsessions haven't been completely shoved out by The Midnight, and also surprised by the Wallflowers making an appearance on this playlist. Spotify is so weird sometimes.

I'll tag @twig-tea , @waitmyturtles, @so-much-yet-to-learn , @shortpplfedup , @liyazaki , @meteorjam , @negrowhat , and @parralex0889 , @wen-kexing-apologist , @happypotato48

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2023: #08 & #07

08. MOLDOVA Pasha Parfeni - "Soarele și luna" 18th place

Decade rank: 28/116 [above Trenuletul, below Gjon's Tears]

"With friend and foe, we march to the battle plain

Some to seek success, others to seek fame

We play with honour, for the love of this game

So that someday, someone, somewhere will remember our name." -- Benjamin "Coach" Wade

No surprises here, I would hope. Pasha may have aged 11 years since his last appearance but he is still the same weird, irreverent stoner king he has always been. Perhaps even moreso than before, now that he's openly become the Eurovision equivalent to Coach in both style and substance.😍

Pasha delivered not more, not less, but exactly what I thought and hoped he would.

First of all, the song is just really fucking good. It sounds (very complimentary) like something you would hear in a Vidbir final. Maybe a follow-up to Kadnay's Beat of the Universe, remember that one? (Melovin's BIGGEST crime is robbing us of Kadnay, Lelya AND the minotaur girl because zomg uwu quirky theatre kid) (lmao the way I totally would have been okay with Dreamer and put it high on my 2024 list, cuz he ate that) (um, hypothetically ofc). Vidbir sound-alike is huge praise for a country that normally takes the role of a Schrödinger's qualifier and it was nice to for once know exactly what we were getting here.

REEEEEYNE N FYAAAAAAAA GAEDE MEHEEHEEEEEE

And here we get to the delivery of the song and, I mean, it's Moldova. How else are they going to tackle a song about pagan wedding ceremonies?

Moldova don't care about your stupid "wokeness". (good grief the (unselfaware) ableists freaking out about the little person. ALLOW PEOPLE MAKE A LIVING THE WAY THEY WISH TO, GOOD GRIEF. Dwarfism is not a cognitive disability, they have full agency to work in the entertainment industry. Stop behaving like they need you to emancipate against "the oppressive straight white cismale".)

Moldova don't care about trifles such as appearing "competent" to your insipid juries.

MOLDOVA IS REAL, always aiming fully maximize their entertainment factor for the lowest possible cost, and thank fuck they do.

Only this country could stage their performer as karate-chopping at a little person and make it light entertainment.

Only this country could take a quirky, Ukraine-coded electrofolk fusion and stage it like a weird grotesquerie,

Only this country could bring irreverence with such unerring earnesty.

"Soarele si luna" was a yet another solid showcase of what Moldova excell at, raw intuitive entertainment with no strings attached. Of course, we're in 2023 and being fun doesn't matter in the overal rankings. The least I can do in those cases is give a high spot to those who've been paid dirt the most.~

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07. LITHUANIA Monika Linkyte - "Stay" 11th place

Decade ranking: 25/116 [Above Stefania (Last Dance), below Sam Ryder]

HOORAY FOR YET ANOTHER YEAR OF LITHUANIA AT THE TOP OF MY BALTIC SISTER RANKING~

(enjoy it for the moment lithuanian readers, because a certain song about narcotics is threatening to take that crown away in 2024...x)

We have finally reached a point where the placements on my ranking more or less match the scoreboard, praise hallelujah. Of the robbed outsiders only Joker Out remain, and they're here to stay. :dramatic cymbal:

Speaking of both Outsiders and Stay, Lithuania were also kind of an outsider at first. After Monika beat Ruta Mur in PiN, I didn't think they would come close to a top 10 - clearly So Low was The Choice, Right? I honestly I don't know if I can feel that way any more. "Stay" aged really well. Ruta is an icon, but she did not have the Monika's secret weapon. She did not have -

ČIŪTOOO TŪŪŪTOOO

ČIŪTOOO TŪŪŪTOOO

ČIŪTOOO TŪŪŪTOOO

And what is "Stay" if not čūitooooo tūūūtoooo. Like legit, those two words, that's ALL it took. Those two words, that mantra, repeated over and over and over again, is what endeared her to me and juries (this is Lithuania. LITHUANIA. and juries liked them.).

Adding more čiūto tūto such a simple, elegant tweak, but one that Monika masterfully delivered. The hook is as strong as steel, but it is her charisma and her harmonies with the gospel choir which bent it into pure wholesomeness.

"Stay" is not the strongest composition, but it was an effective one. What it did exceptionally well was deliver the home comforts. The song is blanket, a fleece, a cuddle. It's the musical equivalent to eating a hearty meal by a lit fireplace, leaning against the warm body of your beau or belle. It is the spirit of Nature Is Healing in music form. It is a mental health balm covered by a mantle čiūto tūto. Lithuania earned their spot on the left side of the scoreboard and that's about as positive a surprise we're gonna get with these darksided results.

THE RANKING

[grapejuicegay]

Get to know me tag! :)

I was tagged by @telomeke here and @dribs-and-drabbles here.

do you make your bed?

I try to! On days that I'm too busy to make it in the morning I do so about half an hour before I'm getting to bed. I don't like the feeling of getting back into an unmade bed - it feels like a completely unproductive day and that just throws me off

what's your favourite number?

I don't really have a favourite but I love multiples of 7, they make my brain go brrr

what is your job?

Photography! It's something I always wanted to do as a child but gave up on as an unrealistic dream before eventually sort of stumbling into it. Happy accidents and all that.

if you could go back to school, would you?

Hah! No chance. I burnt myself out pretty badly through undergrad by taking on far too much - there were just so many things that I found interesting - and I'd much rather not repeat that experience.

can you parallel park?

I can't drive. I keep meaning to learn but the way people drive freaks me out a little too much. I've also been struggling with a bout of motion sickness recently and that doesn't help my comfort in cars. Someday though! Hopefully!

a job you had that would surprise people?

I worked on editing and post production on a documentary for National Geographic once

do you think aliens are real?

In what form, I'm not sure. But some forms of life that exist outside of our planet? Absolutely. My other answer, channeling the 12 years I've spent on this hellsite: doooweeeewoooooo

can you drive a manual car?

If/when I do finally learn to drive I'm going to make it a point to learn manual too. Idk, feels like an important skill to have

what's your guilty pleasure?

I make it a point not too feel guilty or embarrassed about my interests. If I started doing that far too many things I like would qualify and I just cannot live like that

tattoos?

I wish :( I have a bunch of small tattoos I've always wanted but I have a medical condition because of which I can't get any.

favourite colour?

It changes every so often but I'm particularly biased towards shades of teal right now.

favourite type of music?

I love rock of the general/alt/post/punk variety. Recently I've been listening to a goth-folk band called Charming Disaster and have been a little bit obsessed with their album Our Lady of Radium and especially Radium Girls

do you like puzzles?

Love love love puzzles of any kind. I just like having lil things for my brain to do.

any phobias?

I have a little bit of a phobia of falling off of high places which unfortunately comes from a close call during a hike where I slipped off a steep rock and almost into a sweeping rapids (luckily I ended up slipping sideways into a little pool in a gap between said rock and another big one... took a while to pull my short ass out of there but at least I wasn't being swept away!)

favourite childhood sport?

I was a sporty child, tried my hand at just about most sports. My go to was basketball for a while (though I don't play anymore) but now I'm more inclined to go for a swim or a bout of kickboxing, sometimes badminton. Funny story: over the course of a year I got hit in the nose with 4 different kinds of balls (not that kind!). My nose is fine but I was paranoid around sports grounds for a while after that 😂

do you talk to yourself?

All the time! It honestly helps me keep track of a lot of things, especially when I'm overwhelmed but it's a little funny when my everyday running commentary comes out in front of people. It gets me a lot of strange looks, especially when I ask everyday objects what they think they're doing

what movies do you adore?

Depends on the day you ask. I tried answering this 5 different times but each time I came up with 5 different movies to list out. I really could not pick for this one

coffee or tea?

Coffee! Far, far too much of it!

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

An astronaut. It took me far too long to give up on that pipe dream. But around the time I gave up on that I was getting interested in photography as something to pursue. I was bullied out of it for a few years sadly but hey, I ended up here eventually!

I'm coming to this way too late so I'm not really sure who hasn't done this yet. I'm just going to tag @casualavocados @celestial-sapphicss @jemmo

And like both Tel and Lin mentioned, I've been far too busy to be on tumblr too much recently (most of 2024) and so a lot of stuff I've been tagged in has slipped through the cracks. Most of it is in my drafts somewhere and sometimes it just feels too late to bring it back. I still love all of you though and I'm sorry!

[hiwataris-bitch]

My ESC 2024 ranking

Although I'm not as into ESC this year as I was the year before, I still wanted to do the ranking. It's kinda rushed since I have only listened to some of the songs for the first time yesterday, but my top 10 was established long before that so who cares. Anyways, here goes:

1-10 Best songs ever:

1. Finland - I LOVE THEM I LOVE THIS SONG THIS IS THE BEST SONG EVERYONE ELSE GO HOME. Finland sending banger again this year. My absolute favourite.

2. Austria - another huge banger, brings me back to early 2000s and I really love the lyrics

3. Poland - okay, look, I KNOW she doesn't sing all that well live. But I really like the song itself so let me have this one. It's gonna be a miracle if we qualify, but still I just like the song.

4. Switzerland - opera and rap in one song? I didn't expect myself to like it as much as I do, but it's just so catchy!

5. United Kingdom - another catchy song for me I can listen to on repeat (maybe slightly less than I can listen to Poland, but still good)

6. San Marino - great rock tune, another song that brings me back to the 2000s, although in a different way than Austria does.

7. Croatia - although they're only 7th on my list, I won't be mad if this wins, because just like San Marino, it is another solid, good rock entry.

8. Netherlands - you can clearly see my taste for crazy performances in this top 10, so it would be an offence if I didn't put the Netherlands here as well. It isn't my favourite, but still a song I like and enjoy very much.

9. Spain - okay, maybe the performance I saw on youtube made me put it higher than I would, I'm not really sure. But I have listened to this song quite a lot since it released.

10. Estonia - to complete my ultimate crazy tunes group for this year, they also closes my top 10. They make a perfect team with Finland, Croatia and the Netherlands. My top 10 would be just top 4 if it wasn't for some other songs that also turned out to be good..

11-20 Songs I like very much:

11. Albania - she was SO CLOSE to making it to my top 10, but I liked the other songs slightly more. Still, 11th place is the lowest I will ever put this song, because for whatever reason it really speaks to me.

12. Iceland - originally it was lower on my list, but after some time I decided it was way too catchy so it had to be moved up. It's really pleasant to listen to.

13. Czechia - I've read comments complaining she can't sing live. Maybe. But just like with Poland, I just like the song and you're not going to change my mind. Nobody listens to live versions after the contest ends anyway, unless they're rewatching the performances.

14. Luxembourg - tbh my places 12-14 kept being rearranged since I like all three of these songs almost equally as much. I am really happy to see Luxembourg return to Eurovision and I think they chose a great song for their return. It's one of the earworms for me.

15. Italy - just like above, places 15-17 kept switching for me. And although I listen to this song a lot, to the point I often skip it now when it comes on my spotify, I cannot in good conscience put it any lower. Even though I listened to it too much I still have to appreciate how good of a song this is.

16. Sweden - I've only listened to it today, but Sweden brings a high production quality this year as well (honestly, what'd you expect from them?). It is a good song, although it doesn't really do anything special for me. Still, It's just pleasant to listen to.

17. Moldova - similar to Sweden, but production value is slightly lower. But I just like fast songs.

18. Lithuania - honestly, I am slightly surprised I put it above Cyprus, because unlike Cyprus, I can barely recall this song. But I like it when I listen to it. Also, good for Lithuania for not singing in English, that is always refreshing to hear.

19. Cyprus - could be switched with Lithuania, but when I actually listen to both these songs one after another, I actually like Cyprus slightly less. They used to be higher on my list, but sadly, their song is a bit too average for me.

20-29 Song I don't care about all that much:

20. Latvia - okay, I lied, I care about this song. I don't usually listen to slower tunes, they have to actually make me feel something, and this one does. I wish I could put it higher, but I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with it.

21. Australia - I mean, it is fine, but too generic. Still, a faster tune will always be slightly higher on my list.

22. Georgia - similar to Australia, except I care about this one even less.

23. Slovenia - another love-hate for me. I appreciate this song and how different it is, I really do. But I can only listen to it once in a while, otherwise I get overwhelmed. Anyway, I like them a bit more because my name's also Veronika (except spelled with W and not V)

24. Denmark - they're... just fine I guess.

25. Germany - an okay song I can listen to and forget immediately. Just like with Denmark, except I forget this one even faster.

26. Belgium - I remember this one, it's just really not my cup of tea. Like, it is a good song, just not really something I listen to.

27. Malta - okay, now this is a bit annoying of a song. I will listen to it if it's on the radio or something, but I wouldn't choose to listen to it on my own free will.

28. Ukraine - look, it isn't a bad song, definitely better than Malta. But it sounds just like many other songs we've heard from Ukraine and honestly, I'm just bored of them.

29. Norway - another not a bad song, but has some parts that annoy me. Would be much higher without them. It's simply too heavy for me at some parts.

30-37 I literally couldn't care less:

30. Azerbaijan - what ever this is, sorry, I barely remember this song, I don't even know why I put it as high as I did, I guess it was less annoying than the others.

31. Portugal - I kinda like the instrumental, but it is a slow song and not a type of a slow song I would ever listen to.

32. Serbia - I don't like ballads.

33. Greece - I'm sorry, it's just too annoying to listen to...

34. Armenia - okay, it's better than Greece in that it's not annoying, but I just don't listen to this kind of music.

35. Ireland - girl, I appreciate your style, but your song is too much for me.

36. France - no. Sorry, just no.

37. Israel - why are you here, y'all know what you did. You know what you're doing.

[thesinglesjukebox]

WILLOW - "RUN!"

The first time we've covered Willow solo since "20th Century Girl" in 2011!

[6.82]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: A phenomenal parlor trick of a song. It begins enjoyably obnoxious from the jump and spends its entire runtime transforming its needling bassline and insistent drums into something even-keeled. The way everything interlocks at the end is the direct result of Willow’s vocals — she was always the ringleader. There’s even a moment that has the unfurling beauty of Steve Reich’s minimalism. It’s apt; there’s so much joy in hearing the real-time transformations here. [6]

Nortey Dowuona: Asher Bank, the drummer on this song, has the most difficult job: he has to recede for the vocals to take center stage, emerge in order to provide sharp transitions, settle into a smooth groove for the pre-chorus, then carefully carry the outro. More difficult yet, he leans heavily on the kick/snare/kick/kick/kick/snare pattern, largely keeping the hi-hats on a straight, flat drone with no wild tom runs or heavy drum fills to provide flavor. He stays in the pocket for drum engineer Zach Brown to keep him at a low level for Chris Greatti -- handler of piano/bass/acoustic guitar too!!? -- to record. Then Mitch McCarthy quiets the hi-hats and buries them in the mix, letting the kick and snare take starring roles next to the bass as the electric guitar and Willow's vocals drift high over them, rounded off and cocooned with reverb. Willow's voice is a helpless, frightened cry until she settles into her deeper, lower register as the drums pause, rush back toward the front of the mix, then slowly thump into the last bars of the outro, only the kicks heard. All in all, fine job by Bank. Willow sounds great too. [8]

Alfred Soto: Listening to "run!" blind I'd have assumed HAIM or somebody were responsible for the freakout-in-real-time vocal. The wonder is drummer Asher Bank, whose unpredictable patterns recall similar work on Fetch the Bolt Cutters. The star is Willow, whose performance complements the rhythm. [8]

Jonathan Bradley: Willow’s anxious shrieks and paranoid gasps demand stronger accompaniment than one and a half post-punk basslines and an admittedly satisfying clattery drum kit. [5]

Dave Moore: In the past few years Willow has quietly become the most incredible pop artist that you are begging to hear in a language you don't speak. But, much to my own surprise, I couldn't care less about the dippy poetry and therapyspeak -- the right syllables always seem stick to the right melodies and assemble themselves into the right songs. She's a genius.  [7]

Katherine St. Asaph: Willow's A-list family has, maybe paradoxically, caused their musical career to fall into relative obscurity compared to pop's A-list; casual listeners and jaded industry types have seemingly written her music off as nepo stuff that's safe to ignore. Which is a shame, because they're making more ambitious music, more deserving of being called "artpop," than many of the up-and-coming artists marketed in their stead. "Run!" is striking and angsty in a way that shares more in common with '90s singer-songwriters than '20s nu-pop-punkers. There are places in Willow's vocal where I would believe that someone spliced in a Tori Amos sample instead -- the inflections can be uncannily similar. (Well, OK, half the time who I actually hear is Charlotte Martin; close enough.) Docked a point for the outro, which is the sort of indulgent meandering that the doubters probably expected. [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: As with many of the great stars of alternative rock through the decades, it's hard to separate the craft from the shtick here. This annoys me in the nervy first half and still doesn't quite land itself in the repeated phrases of the spacier second half, but I can't help but be charmed by the song taken as a whole. To take big swings and fail interestingly is always more valorous than to just muddle through. [6]

Taylor Alatorre: Saves the Day had In Reverie, the Get Up Kids had On a Wire, Panic! had Pretty. Odd., and Willow has empathogen. Once you have chosen the path of the Emo Girl, there's no going back; record your self-consciously mature and classicist follow-up album, or perish. This is of course an oversimplification, since not even the sellout-iest of emo bands has a career path remotely comparable to Willow's. "I can't get out" is an appropriate grievance for someone with her profile, whether it's stemming from generalized anxiety disorder or the fact that "Whip My Hair" remains her highest-charting hit. Even while Willow is re-enacting a nervous breakdown, she's still the diligent aesthete, arranging her yelps and squawks in a painterly manner between the gaps in the skittering percussion. Then she suddenly realizes that the song's halfway over and she hasn't said the title yet, prompting a vision of escape that sounds like an extended cut of a sensitive Blink-182 bridge. It's pedestrian, it's predictable after 5 seconds, and it's still evocative enough to make me want to re-evaluate a certain therapeutic mantra. "'Wherever you go, there you are'?" Willow seems to ask. "Actually, dude, I was there, which sucked, and now I am here, which doesn't suck. Take that, mindfulness." [7]

Ian Mathers: I was one of the few positive outliers when we reviewed "Meet Me At Our Spot," and a lot of that was specifically Willow's vocals, so I'm nonplussed that for the first two-thirds here they don't do much for me at all. Might be the production, because during the last minute's worth of "runrunrunrunrun" bits the song does sound better to me. But instead of that section feeling like catharsis or fixation or something equally powerful, it just feels like they ran out of ideas. Better luck next time! [5]

Harlan Talib Ockey: One of my favorite under-discussed trends in music was the blues rock boom of the early 2010s. Alabama Shakes, Gary Clark Jr., Rival Sons, Kaleo, Hanni El Khatib, Blues Pills, Curtis Harding and Sinkane occasionally, Cage the Elephant and Royal Blood arguably. “Run!” is a near-perfect throwback to this era. Even the guitar tone sounds like it’s from The Black Keys’ Turn Blue, and Willow’s vocal delivery owes a debt to Brittany Howard and St. Vincent (who appears on this album). I’m biased toward giving “Run!” a good score simply because that was most of what I listened to as a teenager, but here’s the deciding factor: when Willow starts to drift away from the formula, she expertly dissolves the outro into dreamy exhilaration.  [8]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: Major theater kid vibes (non-pejorative).  [8]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[galactic-glamour-girl-posts]

Thoughts on Season 3

Yeah, I know, I'm late to the party. I watched this season weekly (except for episode 8, which I watched the same week as episode 1-I wasn't about to wait 8 weeks to see the CG episode) because screw binge culture I feel that’s just how Animaniacs should be watched (although daily works too). This won't be a review of each episode, just a list of random thoughts I had about the season:

—I already thought Titmouse's animation for the show was phenomenal, but it somehow managed to look even better in “Season 3 and WB”! And it’s always great to see more Nora. If Animaniacs does make another comeback I hope they don’t only stick with characters from the original series (plus some inevitable new ones) because nOsTaLGiA. It would suck if we never saw Nora or Julia or anyone from the reboot again.

—It’s nice to see certain catchphrases be brought back, like Wakko’s “Faboo!” and Dot’s “Boys.” Although it’s almost like a monkey’s paw situation, because Yakko doesn’t say “Goodnight Everybody!” at all this season. Not even once. Has that happened thoughout an entire season of Animaniacs...ever? This isn’t a complaint (it doesn’t really matter), but it’s surprising.

--OK, Cindy's officially my third favourite recurring character the reboot introduced. I'm glad her and Starbox got more segments this season, I like them a little more now!

—I like how “Soda-pressed” and “The Island of Dr Warneau” give insight as to what would happen if the Warners were the perfectly behaved, compliant, innocent children the studio always wanted them to be-they'd be miserable, like GiGi and the clones. The Warners may be chaotic and mess about a lot but at least they have a backbone.

--After "Planet Warner" I wonder how many toons in-universe are rejected pitches...it's gotta be ALOT. I liked the reference to "Opportunity Knox" in Talladega Mice (even the usually narcissistic Brain had to admit that plan was poorly thought out), especially since it's usually the Warners who reference their adventures in the original show, whilst Pinky and the Brain almost never reference their past adventures in the original show or their spin off in the reboot. Also, "D.I.Why?" is gonna be stuck in my head for ages, particularly Wakko's verse.

--I REALLY wish "Fantasy" and "Teeniacs" were longer instead of being cold opens. A Warners/Pinky and the Brain crossover and the Warners in high school? I would've watched an entire half hour each of both of those! As they are, they're both still good though.

—There are six Warner siblings now. Sorry I don’t make the rules.

(Seriously though, the clones were so cute! And I commend the segment for having a great moral about cutting out toxic family members.)

--Fun fact, "Global Warnering" was supposed to be in season 2! It's nice to see the Warners go up against another toon/talking animal again, it felt like pretty much all of the "special friends" in the reboot before season 3 were humans. They were mostly humans in the original show too, but some were talking animals. Also my goodness was "Here Comes The Sea!" catchy. Pretty brutal that the Warners basically kill the guy at the end...but let's be honest he deserved it.

--It's nice to know that canonically Brain did feel guilty over what he did to Julia. Ironic that in trying to deal with his feelings of guilt be ends up repeating the same mistake as before-trying to have complete control of Julia, just In a less overt way. I've seen people say that this was an awful thing to do and his way of dealing with it doesn't make sense because it doesn't actually fix anything but...I'm pretty sure that was the point you guys. Brain's an emotionally unintelligent narcissistic control freak, and always has been. In the spin off he once referred to himself crying as his eyes leaking. What Brain does get is math and science-so he did the only thing he knew. He's not in touch with his emotions and is content with sticking with what he knows doing the same things over and over again, which of course leads to him making the same mistakes. Meanwhile, Julia is in touch with her emotions and is willing to change. Julia's his foil, this whole storyline is basically deconstructing Brain as a character. The only thing I don't get is why is he in love with her? I'm glad the feelings clearly aren't reciprocated, but last time he met a mouse that seemingly became as smart as him (Billie) that was a turn off for him. Or maybe he IS at least a little threatened by Julia's intelligence and that's why he programmed her to be a housewife?

--Basically, I do have some issues with the Julia storyline (as funny as she is they could've done something more interesting and nuanced than turning her into a Saturday Morning Cartoon villain, I could do without Brain actually having feelings for her, and I think her trying to take Pinky away from Brain because she genuinely thinks he'd be better off without him would have been more interesting than her basically ignoring Pinky most of the time) but showcasing Brain's flaws isn't one of them. I'm glad the real Julia showed up in episode 7, would've sucked if what's unfortunately probably gonna be her last appearance in anything ever technically didn't even have her appear. I'll admit I don't really see the point of having two Julias now but I'm guessing they would've done something cool with that plotline. Maybe one day they will! Hopefully the idea for season 4 was that Brain would finally attempt to make things right for real.

--I liked episode 8 overall, but yeah that first scene sucked. I'm not gonna debate this with anyone in the comments-I don't like it. Not just the comments about Wakko, the "boomer" joke and the "lol girls don't play video games!" joke in 2023 were pretty lame. But I'm not gonna rant about it, plenty of people have already. That being said, the Warners looked great in CG, and the rest of the episode was actually funny. They even referenced the Sega Genesis/Mega Drive and Game Boy Animaniacs game and got a studio (Flystudio) who actually worked on Super Smash Bros. Ultimate to do the 3D animation!

--Also, did not expect Starbox and Cindy of all things to get some sense of closure, with it seeming like Starbox will eventually warm up to living with Cindy. Yeah there's that cliff-hanger...but the clone will probably end up like the last one lol.

--One of the scientists who conducted the "Learned Helplessness" experiment on Brain appears near the beginning of episode 9. I swear he even has more white hairs now, neat detail. Also, I guess Yakko being lactose-intolerant is now officially a constant thing in canon and not just a random gag, that's cool. "How The Brain Thieved Christmas" was fine, but Brain is basically learning the same thing he learned in the original PatB Christmas special. That dub-step remix of "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" was unexpected but awesome, and "We Could Try to Do It, Santa" was great too!

--If "Some of Humanity's Wins" ends up being the last full Animaniacs song we ever get (with the Warners' og voices at least), then that's not a bad song to go out on, I like the optimistic message! And I'm so glad to hear Sherri Stoner as Slappy again, she literally sounds the same as she did decades ago, that's amazing. Slappy being retired makes way too much sense.

--So...about that ending. Apparently the meteor was more of a metaphor wasn't meant to be taken too literally. Even if you ignore what Gabe Swarr said on Twitter about how the Warners survived (plus Everyday Safety likely being an in-universe filmed sketch anyway), Yakko has outright said he's impervious to physical harm in "Yakko Amakko" and Wakko said they're immortal in "WARnerGAMES". So I'm just gonna assume the Warners are fine. And although it does technically count as a downer ending, the comedic timing of the meteor's impact was too good for me to hate it. And hey, unlike the original series there was no implication they'd be locked up in the water tower this time so...yay...?

--Here's my ranking of the episodes (from best to worst):

3, 7, 6, 10, 9, 5, 1, 8, 4, 2

I'll keep this last paragraph brief, this post is getting pretty long. The best moments in season 3 are some of the best of the reboot, period. I'm gonna miss this show, I wouldn't even be into Animaniacs without it, and it deserves to have more episodes.

I like to think maybe some day it will!

[thiefbird]

Top 5 books!

Okay so. Gonna cheat just a lil and give my top 5 books OR series(and my fave book in each series)

In no particular order:

1) The Aubrey-Maturin Series

This should shock no one who follows my tumblr: I have talked about little else for the last five months. These characters invade almost my every waking thought; the few thoughts that aren't about them are about related subjects like Temeraire or Hornblower. Patrick O'Brian's writing style has permanently changed my own. I think probably my favourite book in the series is HMS Surprise. Patrick O'Brian has gotten fully into the swing of things, he knows his characters inside and out. Diana is there. And unlike some of my other favourites, the story in Surprise is self contained - as opposed to Desolation Island/Fortune of War/Surgeon's Mate, which are all the same arc.

2) Dragonriders of Pern

I read these books way, way too young (they are not in any way meant for an eight year old) and they changed my neurochemistry. Dragonriders of Pern is why I loved Eragon, and why I love Temeraire. There is a more age-appropriate series, the Harper Hall books, but that's not all that I read. I think my favourite book in the series is probably Dragon's Dawn, which is the book that explains the sci-fi connection to what starts off as feeling purely fantasy. It does such a good job of explaining how we get to where the series ends up in the first books, and also confirms the Anne McCaffery super-universe is alive and well(if you read any of her sci-fi series, there are always little references to show that they're all in the same universe, though they may be centuries or millennia apart). Do not give these books to your eight year old. Maybe not even your twelve year old. Sixteen is probably good.

3) Septimus Heap

For all you people who want to introduce your kids/your sibling's kids/your friend's kids to reading, but don't know what to recommend to little kids who like fantasy now that Terfwizardry is a no go, let me introduce the better Special Boy Learns Magic Books! Septimus Heap is the seventh son of a seventh son, but he doesn't know that at first. These books have a fascinating magic system that actually makes sense, an entirely separate from real life setting, and actually healthy family relationships! I don't have a specific favourite book, but even though they're very much aimed at younger kids, I reread them recently and they hold up! They're cute and sweet and heartwarming and also the cover art is excellent. If you have kids age 5-12 in your life and you want them to enjoy books, but don't want to recommend Percy Jackson for the billionth time? Give them Septimus Heap! (Or Gregor the Overlander, my personal favourite Suzanne Collins series; it might actually be more depressing as an adult than The Hunger Games, and it is written for late elementary/middle school kids. Give your kids a really weird but good experience and opportunity to talk about the horrors of both war and capitalism, all surrounded by giant rats and bats and cockroaches who are your friends.)

4) Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre

Are these the same series? Not really, but they are in my heart; the Brontë's books in my mind are so intertwined that they can share a space. Its what they would have wanted probably. I am a miserable Gothic bitch at heart. Highschool Birb read these books pretty much on repeat, with occasional breaks for Jane Austen or Mary Shelley. In terms of a favourite, my heart lands just a little on the side of Wuthering Heights; I am a sucker for parallels and inescapable fates.

5) Madeleine L'Engle (cheating again)

There's quite a bit of JV/YA fic on this list; I think there are some brilliant books that are ignored because they were written specifically for children, and anything by Madeleine L'Engle is absolutely included in that list. A Wrinkle In Time, and the rest of the books about the Murry-O'Keefe's(The Kairos series), are the reason high school Birb bought three nonfiction but not textbook books on string theory, and another textbook. They are almost entirely the reason I have a grasp on Christianity - Madeleine L'Engle's particular flavour of faith is a beautiful thing, and she ties it so perfectly into an intensely sci-fi and scientific series. Her more slice of life series, the Chronos series, is definitively but obscurely tied into the more sci-fi Kairos, in ways that are wonderful to think about. As a high schooler, and even after coming out as trans, both Meg Murry and Vickie Austin really spoke to me, but I think my favourite book of all of them is A Swiftly Tilting Planet. There is something heartbreakingly hopeful in all of L'Engle's writing, but especially in the scenes of the Murry's waiting at home, together, hoping that they'll see the morning, and then doing so.

[missholloween]

😍😔 for the writing ask game?

I AM SO SORRY I THOUGHT I POSTED THESE AND I JUST FOUND IT ON MY DRAFTS. I LIVE IN SHAME

😔 published lines or a section of a fic that was super sad, angsty, or difficult to write?

I could've chosen anything from my curtwen week fics because I don't write them being happy.

However, I got so sad writing the first fic, A eulogy. Writing Curt's part actually made me tear up twice, something that totally got me by surprise.

These are the culprits:

Why did he think he could say goodbye? Curt had never been a wordsmith. He was a man of fleeting compliments, of chivalrous gestures and big acts of love. Words were difficult for him. They required precision, clarity; they demanded an honesty that he had always struggled with. Curt had never been able to put his feelings into words. Even at his partner’s funeral, he was incapable of sharing a few words. The widower stood in front of the building for hours. He remembered his smile and body, that he had grown to know more than his own. He remembered his quick wit and his sharp tongue; his piercing eyes and his beat-up hands that had accompanied him on many sleepless nights. Curt remembered all the missions they had served together, as well as a couple that would never be shared. He thought of all the stories that no one but them knew: stories of hotel rooms, of empty bars in long-lost towns and coded messages in made-up ciphers. He cried, and laughed, and wailed, and screamed. Again and again, he cursed the man who had taken those memories from him. Curt wasn’t able to look at his lover’s tomb during his quiet eulogy. He kept his head down, with eyes filled with tears. Every time he tried to speak, a wail came out. The only sentence he was able to finish was “I’m sorry”. He repeated it, over and over again, a quiet litany that would accompany him for years.

😍 published lines or a section of a fic that you loved writing?

I had two options in mind, and I've realized that both options are bantering. It truly is a love language <3 (and so so fun to write).

This is from a Lautski fic I wrote at the end of last year, Quick break. I love lautski, they make me so happy, and they're so fun (and easy) to write. The fic itself helped me get through my finals season, so I cherish it a lot <3

“Mister Handsome needs more time to get ready? I can wait if you need to…” Pete blushed, quickly putting his hands away from the camera. “No, no, I w- I was just… Taking some hair off my face, you know?” “Oh. Is that why you were so close to your cam?” “Yeah, to get all of them out of my way! I am precise in my craft.” Steph smiled fondly. “Hey.” Pete smiled back, lovestruck. “Hi.” “You look cute though. Casual really suits you. Maybe you could go for a look like this more often.” Pete chuckled and started to get up. “Oh, you mean a look like this?” He had moved away from the computer as much as he could, as his headphones were connected by a wire. The camera now showed Pete from his chest to his knees. “Do you think I should wear my old, oversized MarioKart pajamas to class?” “Why not!” “Do you want me to make a list, a presentation, an essay…?” “Okay, okay, fine. You’re right. Hatchetfield High is not ready for your lingerie.”

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 26th April

Ugh. That's it for today. Just... ugh.

My September Love - David Whitfield (peaked at Number 3)

I didn't see who this was by, at first glance. Instead, I saw the title, and thought, "Hey, neat title. Kinda reminds me of September Song, or the one that goes do you remember". I was briefly quite optimistic. Then I saw that we are in for another David Whitfield number, so... eh.

Off the bat, I'm hoping for a sort of melancholy song about falling in love later in life, or after being in love with somebody else for metaphorical "summer" season. That feels like how the seasonal metaphor ought to work, right?

Wow, okay, so we've started with some very Disney strings, which are actually quite nice. And to his credit, David, when he comes in, is kept quite low in the mix, so he doesn't overpower them early on, even though he's clearly singing at full volume from the get go. So kudos to whoever made that decision while recording, I guess? And also, kudos to whoever did the string parts here, more generally, because they're lovely.

David, as per usual, I can take or leave. Despite the aforementioned good mixing, he still does belt just about every line here, with two settings: loud and REALLY LOUD. It's not the worst performance I've heard from him, though, and there are no moments that made me actively wince. Actually, I think the song just about fits David's style quite well, with its slow pacing and its gradual buildup to a fairly moderate high note. It's fine, which is better than I expected going into this.

The song itself is pretty short, actually, just a verse and then a chorus that repeats. At least I think that's what I'm getting here. And thematically, it's also pretty simple, with David thinking back to time spent with his love, back in September. We get Lazy autumn days in all their glory, followed by Nights that saw the start of our love story, which almost feels like its hinting at something a bit steamier - but then we're back in safe territory with leaves that match her golden hair. It paints a postcard-worthy picture of autumn. There's none of that melancholy I was predicting, just a nice song about being in love in autumn.

Except it is all about memories and remembering a love who it sounds like has left, for whatever reason. Which I guess adds a layer of melancholy, especially since we don't really learn what's happened to David's love, only that And in December, still glows the embers / Of my September love. Which... okay? Did she leave him? Did she die? Did they just drift apart? I don't know, and in a way, that's even better - it can be a song about anything, applicable to whatever situation you've got going on in your life, like so many of the best songs.

Yeah, I surprised myself here. It's still not going to top any personal favourite lists, but for David, this was a surprisingly respectable outing, and I have no qualms with naming it as my favourite. I have to confess, I do wonder how people saw music like this in 1956. We're still pretty early on in the charts, but already, music like this really does feel a bit dated. Sometimes in a charming way, but dated nonetheless.

Favourite song of the surprisingly okay bunch: My September Love

[000life-is-meaningless000]

I obviously and honestly see life is meaningless.

When I was free 👻 it's just a spirit in the Great Void !!!

before my captors 👽incarnated me 🧚🏻‍♂️ necromanced me in a new body and the rest of my people 🧚🏻‍♂️🧚🏻‍♀️🧚🏻‍♂️

I don't care how many people call me schizophrenic I'll keep telling this fucking schizophrenic truth over and over again I don't care how many times people don't like me saying it I'm going to repeat the fucking phrase, I'm not human, my origins are not in humanity.

and Titania is not ruled over by a male she is the arch goddess of all things insectoid that's what humans call fairies the fairy world is a bug world, there are no Faun's and leprechauns running around there are no unicorns there are no gnomes, at least not the way you put things I known as an Earth Spirit or of the element Earth made up of the energy of Earth.

all the things that I listed do exist but they're not fairies, they're cryptids.

😐 - Now !

back to the point.

what I usually did in the spirit realm are the great Void, I would watch things in life because for me all things were meaningless and purposeless and stupid I could I knew God existed and experience them and I was very apathetic about what my experience even though all other Souls were overthrown by the grandiosity of deities they didn't even so much as phase me.

I'm really I don't give a shit kind of creature, Meh !

the only thing that ever sparked anything inside me the only thing that made me have "Feeling's" is Titania !

are Divine mother even though she's a klutz and she fucks up a lot she still are Divine mother and she still the source of all things bug aka Fae !

she's the only thing I could ever give to fucking shits about, despite I still think to a degree she's a bit of a dumbass She's also an unbelievably mysterious goddess.

Regardless of what I say at the end of the day I feel praiser is the most high, and every Christian in the nation is praising Jesus as the most high I praised Titania is the most high is every Jesus freak out there gets on their fucking knees to scream the name of Jesus in a church somewhere we fairies praise our divine mother in our own way.

Despite She discussing and pissed off if you fucked up and we got sent to Earth.

you know she really had the power to smite the mantises a complete kill them for sinning against her and going into science,

Science = Profane, Impious, Anti-Holy !

False Truth's & Fake Teaching's !

All Science = Corrupted Data.

despite all the extreme sins that the Mantis committed I'm still surprised and confused why our holy Goddess is didn't just smite them and keep the world no one understands what she did I'm not saying she works in mysterious ways I think something fucked her up and she wasn't allowed to do it or able, because she got captured by the Grays and was tortured by her to give up the location of the dead fairies us and the spirit realm they couldn't find us with their Fancy Smacy, Fucking, Technology so they needed to get they needed some clairvoyance, they badly needed ESP clairvoyant so they got the goddess to show her them to connect her mind with their mind and to show them where we were they torture her which didn't take that long for her to break her will and then she just constantly showed them where we are and she wouldn't break the connection because they tortured her as hard as possible.

yeah her own fucking fairies is the sinister ones the corrupted ones only turned on her tortured her and forced her to give up the ones who did not Sin in her name so that they 👽👽👽 could use us in their fucking agenda, and they're stupid agenda that literally try to conquer the planet Earth and take it back which they keep fucking failing.

https://youtu.be/j3BXOqjy9EU?si=wXZ3JFeyPgH0rcbd

https://youtube.com/shorts/tQTwh-Z7H9c?si=N-hzmv2K6UYrx5B9

https://youtu.be/s0fooOTyUWc?si=iMk8RTv2Fm4FcpSq

And, thay still haven't been able to bring in the cavalry because they're fighting some other alien race in space, Yah !

the Grays are literally in a fucking war in space and there's a reason why they ( NASA ) don't want to show you anything going on in space because there's so much chaos and fighting in space there's a secret War going on between aliens and the Grays want to conquer the Earth.

if they are able to be successful it's been going on for over 30 fucking years by the way, if there Successful in able to make landfall with the war that means you're going to see actual UFO's into the civilization.

which this is the thing that I don't care what person denies an alien invasion they're all going to die where they believe is happening or not it doesn't matter there'll be nowhere to run cuz they are going to mass Swarm, The planet and their intention is to complete wipe out all human life and then harvest the souls to be part of the agenda which is being converting to human soul into an insectoid, but first you have to go through a slow process of forced reincarnation after Force reincarnation as a slowly turns from human into a fairy which means the next body they're going to get in their Force reincarnation will be a hybrid.

none of this is important, I just want to let you God damn fucking know that the idiot gray alien is not getting what they fucking want and what they're getting is what I told Them, They're going to get 30 fucking 2 years ago, they're getting their asses handed to them I told them if you try to attack this planet the humans are going to kick your ass brutally without even so much it's flexing a goddamn muscle they'll be able to wipe us all out and the Grays went fucking berserking with Anger at me 32 years ago when they were "processing" me through the stages of becoming a hybrid that I couldn't escape them because they psychically grabbed on to me and held on hard as possible and I fought it every instance and chance I couldn't get away but fate Doomed, My ass to this body in this life.

now my people are out there somewhere when we had each other, all together on the other side but somewhere on this big ass fucking Mandela Effected world my people are somewhere out there and I don't know if I'll ever get to be with their soul ever again ?

🙁

Anyway, back on what I was saying.

. . .

when I was allowed to be a free spirit one thing that I mainly did most the fucking time is I was just watch aliens and watch everyone everywhere all the time I would look everywhere I didn't want to interfere I didn't want to fuck with anyone I didn't want to encounter anyone really I just want to watch Souls enjoy their life.

The Universe Was My TV.

. . . . . . .

All I want to ever do is watch the Spirit Round watch Life whenever I heard a dumbass human say there's no such thing as Ghost's I would sometimes giggle in the spirit of Realm.

Anyway, That wraps up this post,

I just really wanted to let y'all know that there's a reason why I'm in this world and why I'm so weird I'm not even human being my soul is not human the slightest bit.

and i don't think, I'll ever get to go back to my home and at this point I don't think I ever see one of my people.

👽 <- the super selfish super super greedy fucking idiots that have a head harder then a fucking rock, fucked up are people to the ultimate extreme.

I don't care if you reading this thing & think, I'm a unhinged schizophrenic, what I tell you is the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth and in the whole if the whole human race thinks I'm mentally ill and the whole human race is blind and dumb.

I don't mean physically, blind.

Cuz I Solemnly swear in the name of God and anything else holy and spiritual that I tell you the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

all I wanted the end of the day is what I lost and if they don't want to be with me I'll walk away and cause no problem's.

I just want to find my people again, I want to see if I can catch up with Them we can escape our bodies because they 👽 won't let us commit suicide until they fail the agenda.

you don't know what it's like to have a Forced ESP link with them you don't know what it's like to have your soul in mind monitor 24/7 you don't know what it's like to be psychically watched of both of your mind and your soul, you don't know what it's like to be in a psychic prison.

you don't know what it's like to be necromanced you don't know what it's like to be forced to be born forced incarnation you don't know what it's like to be someone else's Soul slave.

🙁 - and you especially don't know what it's like to be an alien in a world you don't belong in you don't understand the horror that comes along with that.

your life may be shitty and you may be homeless or you may have a disease but at least if at least you don't have it as bad as we do.

and if it sounds stupid then you have no idea both literal hell me and my people go through on your planet you have no idea what true horror is and you can't conceive of how dark and black the universe really is.

🙁

if you just want to read this post and think I'm a bat shit schizophrenic, or some guy that abuses drug his whole fucking life.

👍🏻

But, I swear to fucking God I wouldn't lie to anybody.

But, This isn't my main blog this is a side block and a different account that I talk about Dark Truth and other taboo shit.

👍🏻 - Later, Y'all.

[bewitching-aria]

climbing

I arrived about 5 minutes before 6pm, the time I gave as a worst case scenario.

I climbed like three v4s??? Are we so back???

Kaye hurt her lower back from climbing oh my god it runs in the family :pensive:

Arseniy and Kaye figured out where to eat, thank god, LOL

We went to Grubstake Diner (https://maps.app.goo.gl/4n8nsR5QeJZvoXRJ6) for food after. The service was not great, but the place had really cool decor and the food itself was pretty good imo!

Before AN showed up, I was telling KF about how I went on a date on Sunday with someone with a pharmacy background, and how she explained to me that lactose intolerance is formally not an allergy (because it's not an immune response) because it's due to a lack of lactase protein which breaks down lactose. This makes the concept of people doing dairy shots for exposure therapy even less sensible, because there's no system to train. I suppose they're just giving themselves exposure therapy to the discomfort that a small amount of dairy generates? Anyways, AN showed up in the middle of the conversation, and he thought this was one of my weird biology explanations of my feelings, like when I explain my mood through dopamine and other hormones.

We have a conversation about an exercise in The Happiness Trap, where you imagine, say a friend, and they are talking about you to someone else, and this friend is asked to name 3 things about you, and you are to imagine what 3 things you would like for them to say. These 3 things are likely your values for yourself in friendship. I would like for you to think about what those are for me, before I list mine.

I listed fun, compassionate, and smart in that order.

The exercise has you repeat this but replacing friend with another kind of individual that you have a close type of relationship with, so maybe as a parent, maybe as a dating partner, and so on and so forth, but I find that across all of them I have the same answer. I brought up how I had this conversation with a friend at work, who gave me open minded and some other word I thought made sense, but included honest, which surprised me, because it just did not come up in my thoughts.

I chatted about how my dating app usage has made it so I'm regularly thinking about how to plan my time (for dates), and how I mentally keep track of a priority queue of who I want to go on dates with, and how I'm having fun iteratively improving my profile and showing different sides of me. AN reminded me that above all else, my usage of dating apps should be fun and not like a chore. We also talked about the female equivalent of r/redpill, r/femaledatingstrategy, and the concept of a "high-value man".

[cherrybakewell666]

I fail to see how any of this means that Gary is autistic.

Reacting to a loud sound, or a sound in general, is a very normal human response. You'd be surprised at how many people look up or around when someone enters a room or drops something. Gary was messing with a rubber band, and he made a normal reaction to letting it go by accident. Normal reactions doesn't mean autism.

Moving your hands about when you're explaining things, aka what people call, "talking with your hands," is a normal thing. A lot of people do it; teachers, tour guides, TV presenters, advertisers, etc. If anything, him gesturing shows his charisma, as a leader of the group. Basically, this isn't, "stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech," (quoted from this chart on this NCBI study, comparing the listed symptoms of the DSM-IV to the DSM-V: here). Gary doesn't stim.

"He has troubles to “read the mood” and to know exactly how to act when someone needs obvious help and comfort."

Just an example (timestamp: 1:07:12): there's a part during a fight where he's witnessing the fight, with a pint in his hand, and he starts to drink it. Basically, it was a situation of, "they're taking care of that, so I'll quickly take care of this." To me, his facial expression (the one you pull while going, "hmmm") gave that away. I love the fact that he just stands there in the middle of all of the shit going on, and drinks the rest of the pint. Comedy. He was even grasping that pint TIGHT while being attacked, and constantly tried to finish it despite losing so much of the liquid, to which he eventually went to get a new, fresh pint. Nothing gets between an alky and their golden goodness—that Golden Mile wasn't going to finish itself! Neck one down, move onto the next pub, repeat.

I don't think that him not letting go of his car meant that he's autistic. I would maybe agree if he showed some sadness when his car was damaged and eventually gone, showing signs of a strong emotional attachment and unwillingness to let go. But he didn't at all. And anyway, anyone would be pissed off and/or upset if anything happened to their car. Your car is something that you chose, so you must've liked it, you take care of it—it's a commitment and, unfortunately, a money pit. Having something that you put a ton of care and money into, to then get screwed is just a piss-take. You'd have to fork out even more money for a new car and the increased insurance (from a new claim).

About Gary being excited, "on the go", and energetic... Gary wanted to get the Golden Mile finished; over and done with, once and for all. While his friends had happy families, high-paying jobs, nice homes, and something to look forward to... all Gary had was drinking, accompanied with the need to not be sober. To be able to complete the unfinished journey that he set foot on with his mates 23 years before the return, that was an exciting opportunity. Wouldn't you be buzzing? And at the points where he wasn't helping and when he wanted the final pint that, literally, awaited him upon a coaster on a table to itself... he got so far to give up.

Also, he was just having fun, too, since his life's shit. He was more lively than the others, because this was what he wanted to do. He was the one that proposed the idea to each of his mates—who weren't even really up to the idea—organised the meet-up, and led the way with a map and a pen. He was the leader of the pack, the Six Musketeers.

I'm surprised that you didn't mention about his love for his favourite band, The Sisters of Mercy, somehow meaning that he has autism. This is nothing more than him having a favourite band. (He's so based for being a TSoM fan. I'm one as well. It's one of my favourite second wave goth rock bands, along with Fields Of The Nephilim, The Garden of Delight, Love Like Blood, Nösferätu, Rosetta Stone, and The Mission.) There's a reason why I'm bringing this up. Nowadays, a lot of people confuse liking something with something being a highly-focused interest (you would typically have one or, at most, two of these; hence the "highly-focused" part, because you can't be the aforementioned with more than one or two things.)

I can't think of anything else to discuss about or mention. In conclusion, I don't think that Gary is autistic.

Autistic headcanon : Gary King

I always loved Edgar Wright’s movies. But his “World’s end” movie was the one who really struck a chord with me (it’s a special interest of mine). And i think it’s because i identify a lot with Gary King.

For those who don’t know this movie, “The World’s end” tells the story of Gary King, a man stuck in the 80′s, who, when he was a teenager, got his friends to do with him the “Golden Mile”, aka drinking a pint in the twelve pubs of his town. They never managed to get the last pubs.

Years and years after, Gary King comes back in his friends’ life and manage to convince them to actually finish the Golden Mile. But his motives might be deeper than what they initially think… I won’t go in too much details about the plot, because there are lots of plot twists and you seriously need to watch this movie blindly. However, i can safely assure you that Gary King is one of my favorite autistic headcanon, mostly because he painfully reminds me of myself about a lot of things (he might also have ADHD, which i self-diagnose myself with).

Firstly, he can’t stand still. At all. He’s always moving, always doing something with his body, never, ever still. He loves to run, for no other reason than fun, and tends to jump over anything. He also spins on himself and dances without any reason.

[gif of Gary King, spinning on himself, his long coat following the ample gesture]

[gif of Gary King, spinning slightly on his rolling chair, in front of another man, sitting at his desk. The name “Andrew” is written in big, white letters on the screen]

[gif of Gary King, walking backwards at a fast pace, arms extended]

He tends to be “jumpy” when there’s a sudden and possibly loud noise, like in this gif :

[gif of Gary King, playing with a rubber band. He lets him escape and break something, which makes him jump and then smile slightly]

This gif can also be applied to the fact that Gary needs to keep his hands busy and, basically, stims a lot. He talks a lot with his hands, an habit that he had younger and kept while older :

[gif of a young Gary King, talking and moving his hands. One of them is holding an office item]

[gif of Gary King, speaking excitedly and waving his hands]

He has troubles to “read the mood” and to know exactly how to act when someone needs obvious help and comfort. He usually tries to stay “funny” and “energetic”, not realizing his behavior can hurt other people and that they might look for other forms of comfort.

Gary has some comfort objects that he can’t just let go (mainly, his very, VERY old car and his  old cellphone, even though they barely manage to function). Presented with the opportunity to use something else, he tends to become defensive and even agressive.

I could go on and on about Gary King and my autistic headcanon, but i’d risk to spoil you and definitely, it’s a movie you should watch without knowing much about it. Also, neat anecdote : the actor Paddy Considine, who’s playing one of Gary’s friends, is autistic. And he’s awesome.

I’ll put some Trigger Warnings about the movie. If you think you don’t have any, then you can stop your reading right here, because it might spoil you a little bit about the plot.

If you want to be careful and to know what you’ll have to watch (or not, if you can’t watch a movie with this kind of subject, that’s totally okay), then here are the Trigger Warnings that i can think about :

TW : suicide mention, alcoholism, self-injury behavior, death, psychiatric ward mention.

[avulleonastick]

Top five songs?

Oh God, I wrote up basically a whole response to this and tumblr ate it 😭

(Update: Tumblr ate it *again*. Kill meeee.)

Anyways, onto the list!

5:

me, to me: kill the part your that cringes, kill the part of you that cringes.

In my opinion, the kpop is the height of pop, and GFRIEND was (rest in peace) the height of kpop. I realize they're very much... *that* (their name in Korean is literally just the Korean name for girlfriend), but god, they're so good. I love basically every song they've ever made. Although they did sucker me with the classic parasocial whatevermans (sinb my beloved), I loved them before I could distinguish any of them from each other. I have other, less embarassing faves (Dreamcatcher and Blackpink), but I never liked them as much as I liked GFRIEND.

This song is... probably my favorite, but I loved basically all of their songs. (Including a song that is like, 200% less embarrassing, so I deserve to be congratulated for not wimping out and picking that one.)

4:

Once upon a time (see: in high school), this was my favorite song, by my favorite band. If I was to pick my favorite song now, it would probably be something off of Hybrid Theory, or maybe the album with Jay-Z, but I'll keep this out of a respect for history.

3:

After Linkin Park, my favorite band in high school, we have Battle Beast, which is probably my favorite band right now. I love Battle Beast—they exemplify so much of everything I love about metal. Which is to say, the just raw earnestness of it all. It might be lame and silly but there is not a trace of irony to be found here.

I love basically all of Battle Beast's songs on all the albums that have Noora as the vocalist (aka all albums but the first), but this song is probably my favorite.

Also, I love Noora with my entire heart. I love the way she sings so much. The way I've described it before is that she sings like a male lead vocalist, except like, better, which is just so :just right emoji:.

2:

(Read "soba ni iru ne", meaning something like "I'm by your side".)

This is probably my favorite Japanese song. I actually fell in love with it way back when—when I was in high school, and knew roughly zero Japanese. I learned the song phonetically by singing along to it over and over again, which was a very bizarre surprise when I finally knew enough Japanese to understand it, and played it again, because I found myself speaking words and understanding them for the first time *as they were coming out of my mouth*. A truly bizarre experience, would recommend.

Also, this song. I still love it. Alas, none of Aoyama Teruma's songs really grabbed me, which is a bit of a shame and also kind of sort of my experience with most pop.

1:

(Specifically this version: the chanmina remix.)

This song the soundtrack of my trans realization. It's not trans (like, at all), but it was the song I was playing on repeat when I drove down to Santa Barbara and first seriously considered that I was trans, and for that, I will always love it. Listening to it really takes me back to that point in my life (which is good, because it was a very happy time—the misery came later).

Pay Attention To Me!

[tumblebumblebee-63]

Okay, I want to predict the outcome for Spy x Family chapter 72 rn before it comes out, and I'm writing it here so that, if it happens, I can come back to this and pat myself on the back for being right.

So if anyone's interested, this is what I think will (or at least, should) happen:

The bus comes to a stop with all the police officers surrounding it. Cursing for being caught, the guy tells the kids to all stay put if they want to live, then grabs Anya and Damian and brings them out of the bus.

He tells the officers that he has bombs strapped to their necks (both the son of the wealthy and high profile Desmond family and the girl who just happened to piss him off) and that he won't hesitate to set them off.

The officers lay down their weapons, seeing as they have no other choice. Anya, being the little gremlin she is, yells out that the bombs are fake. Aka, pick up the guns again and save them.

Damian and the guy are equally appalled that Anya would be stupid enough to say that and also how does she even know that??

As the police question whether or not that's true, the man grabs Anya and puts a gun to her head, saying something like "I don't know how you learned the bomb was fake, but this gun is very real." Or something to that extent.

Damian (bless his soul) probably tries to help her, but is ultimately smacked away like the loaf of bread he is.

The police, now again concerned with the turn of events, put their guns down for the second time.

The man smirks and begins to list off what he wants the cops to do if they want the kids to live when something smacks him in the head. (Idk what it would be. A rock, a shoe? Just something.)

He looks up to see a hooded figure standing on top of the bus. "Step away from the girl." He says as he points a very large gun at the man.

"Who the hell are you?" The man responds.

"Someone who doesn't like repeating orders a second time." The gun is cocked. "Now step away from her."

Anya (bless her soul as well) thinks that she should do something to help. After all, that's what Bondman would do. So, like the gremlin she is, she comes up with the most gremlin-like plan she can and bites him. Hard. Just fully chomps down on the man's fingers.

Cursing, he let's go of her in surprise. Damain quickly grabs her hand and yanks her away as the hooded figure jumps on top of him and knocks the gun out of his hand.

The police are understandably confused, but rush to stop the bus driver who attempts to make a run for it when his ally is taken down.

Now that they're apprehended, Anya tries to figure out who the hooded figure is. Was it Papa?

She reads his mind and hears this:

"I may hate Loi-Loi will all my guts and he may never be a deserving husband to someone as great as Yor, but I know she would be devastated if anything happened to her chihuahua girl."

Anya smiles, realizing that the man who came to her rescue was her uncle Yuri. She knows that he is technically her papa's enemy (and possibly her mama's too, even if he doesn't know) but he's still a good guy.

Cue Yuri noticing the look and saying something like,

"What the hell are you smiling for??"

But Anya just says something like

"Thank you mystery man! You saved Syon-boy and I from being dead."

He stiffens a little, surprised at the praise and his relief about her safety.

"You're welcome." He says.

Then we cut to the next scene.

Loid is standing in his doorway, fear and absolute shock in his expression.

"She... What?"

The officers then explain to him (for the second time) what events transpired that day.

He looks down as Yor (in tears) crushes Anya (literally crushes) in a hug, saying how she was so sorry she had to go through that and was so relieved that she was okay.

Loid is furious. Furious at the men who threatened his daughter, but more importantly, furious at the agency for not telling him what was going on. He knew they knew about it.

Unable to even look at Anya, he pushes past the cops and sprints his way all the way down to the agency. He isn't careful to be unseen. He isn't paying attention to any of his lessons and basic techniques of being a spy. His daughter almost died today. That's the only thing that matters to him right now.

He kicks down the door, to which the woman starts her whole "Good day, or rather, good evening" spiel that Loid promptly interrupts.

"You knew." He accuses, "You knew and you didn't tell me."

The woman tells him her reasoning. (He was too far away, there was no point in needlessly worrying him when he couldn't do anything, etc.)

He erupts, yelling at them that he didn't care if he was in the middle of another mission, they should've told him! She's his daughter! He should know if she's ever in danger!

"She's not really your daughter," comes the reply.

A moment of silence.

Silence as he realizes the statement is true and wrong at the same time. Not his biological daughter, sure, but she was still his. She was important.

"What about Operation Strix?" He tries to rationalize (for the sake of his protectiveness toward Anya and to prove that the agency should care about her too)

The agency tells him they have other means of getting close to the Desmonds, whether through Yor's new friendship or through another "backup" plan they had in motion. They imply that Anya is expendable. They say that the mission is more important. They say if it came to saving Anya or keeping the mission intact, they wouldn't hesitate to let her die. For the greater good, of course.

After a moment of Lord's silence, she even goes so far as to say Anya's death could've possibly been proven useful, as the mourning could've gotten Yor closer to Melinda-

A crash.

The woman looks up to see Loid leaving the room, the table by which he'd been standing now snapped in half.

Loid walks back home, contemplating her words. Was Anya really expendable in regards to the mission? Trying to keep his thoughts rational, he plays out how her death would affect it. He sees there are some pros (strictly regarding the goals of the mission) but he shuts those thoughts down immediately.

Why had he been so scared today? If she was truly expendable, why had his heart dropped out of his chest when he'd heard she'd come so close to death?

It didn't make sense, not really.

But when he entered the apartment and saw Yor and Anya still on the floor, still hugging, he realized it did.

Because Anya may be considered expendable for the mission. A pawn in a much larger game of chess.

He falls to the floor and wraps both Yor and Anya in a tight hug, saying nothing.

But she was not expendable to him.

Bonus scene at the end:

Yuri's superior officer knocks at his door. Yuri lets him in.

"Thought you'd like to know, that girl, Anna was it? She's alright. The police handled it."

Yuri, already well aware that Anya is fine and that the police most certainly did not handle it, just nods.

"Thank you for telling me sir."

He just nods.

"However, it seems we have a new problem. You see, witnesses reported seeing a mysterious masked figure helping the police catch the guy. I want you to ID him so we can bring him in for questioning and see if he's an enemy."

The officer is so distracted by his determination to find out about this masked menace, he doesn't notice Yuri is standing very nervously behind him. Sweating bullets.