#not sure why the doctor thought it WOULD but go off bestie

[allthetropes]

there is nothing funnier than being in therapy for 4 months and then your test results to show you're even more depressed now than you were 4 months ago

[gummydummy19]

Month seven (November): shower me with love

Summary: You do your friend a favour and drag Sy with you to go house-sitting (more like mansion-sitting, but whatevs)

A/N: Oh my god I'm excited for this one... I know this literally took me a million years (apologies AGAIN). I have missed these two like crazy, so without further ago, get cozy and happy reading <3

Word Count: 4k+

(this is part seven of my series: A year in apartment 6B)

The days had been shortening, slowly but surely getting gloomier. Most people hated it. The cold and the darkness. Wet pavement, foggy windows, rosy cheeks, and leaky noses.

You found it charming. It made you appreciate the coziness of your home even more. the home you'd been living in for almost seven months now.

While the rain tapped against the floor-to-ceiling windows of your office, you found yourself thinking of that very home. You couldn't wait to finish work and rush back to your apartment, curling up on your couch with yet another sappy romance novel.

"Can I ask you a favor?" your thoughts were interrupted by Elizabeth, your chaotic but very sweet work bestie. You met her during your first week at the office. She found you cursing yourself in the copy room trying to figure out how the printer worked you guys had stuck together ever since. It was nice to have someone to have lunch with and fill you in on office gossip.

"What now Liz?", you sighed jokingly.

She looked around to see if anyone was listening before whispering "Break room, now." and walking off. You quickly got up and followed her, wondering what this was about.

"Clark's assistant asked me to housesit for him while he's on his business trip next weekend."

Clark was our boss. Handsome guy, tall, rich, and always in a freshly pressed suit. He wasn't really your type, but according to Liz he always smelled delicious. Of course, she would know, she had been secretly seeing him for over a month now. It was all very exciting.

"Okay?..." you questioned, not really understanding what the problem was.

"It's the Paris trip..."

Right.

Office romance was very exciting indeed, but also very forbidden, and even though Clark was our boss, he wasn't the boss of the company.

Of course, he asked her to come to Paris with him. You knew it was hard for them to keep away from each other, it was truly adorable to see them try though. No one would have to know. It would be their perfect weekend away.

Except that now his assistant had asked Liz to housesit for him, just to feed his cats and water his plants, and she had no good reason to say no so she didn't. Which then brought her here, in the break room, begging you to cover for her.

'Why didn't you just say no?' you asked

'I panicked! I didn't want him to suspect anything so I just went along with it. Could you please do it for me? Please?'

You wanted to help her. You really did, but the thought of leaving Sy alone for an entire weekend when he still wasn't fully healed made your stomach twist

"Oh Liz...I don't...I mean...Sy is still not..."

"You can take him with you!" she quickly spat, "Think of it as a little weekend away together. Doesn't that sound fun?"

'We're not a couple, Liz!" you blushed

"Oh please you're basically married." she shushed, "Come on, you don't have to stay all weekend just check his mail, water his plants and feed his cats, that's all! Besides, his house is gorgeous, and it has an indoor pool! Didn't the doctor say swimming was good exercise?"

"I guess he did yeah..." you mumbled, "ugh, fine! But you owe me!"

"oh, you're the best!" she squealed, jumping up and down before giving you a bone-crushing hug.

"You better bring me back some ridiculously expensive gift" you joked as you tried to contain your own smile, secretly excited about your weekend with Sy.

_______________________________________________________

'So we have to spend the weekend in some rich snob's house because he wants to fuck his employee overseas?"

"Hey! She's my friend and they are in love!" you shot back

"Oh, I'm sure they are..." he mumbled, rolling his eyes, "I would be too if I got free trips to Paris"

"Don't be such a grump, Sy"

"What about Aika? We can't just leave her all weekend?"

"Your mom is picking her up this afternoon." you simply said

"My mo-...You spoke to my mother?"

"Yeah, she's been asking to see Aika for weeks! She sends her love by the way."

Sy silently thanked the lord for making this a regular phone call and not one of those Facetime situations because he wasn't in the mood to explain why his cheeks grew red at the thought of you being friendly with his mom.

"Right..." he grumbled.

"So you're in then? The doctor did say you needed exercise, Sy. You can't just stay cooped up in the apartment. It'll be fun!" you tried to convince him.

"Alright alright, fine, I'm in"

"Yay! Pack a weekend bag, I'll pick you up after work." you told him, "Oh, and don't forget your swim shorts!"

"My what?!" Sy asked, but you had already hung up the phone, leaving him in regret already

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Holy fucking shit"

Sy's deep voice boomed through the desolate entrance hallway of the Kent Residence.

"Normally I'd tell you to watch your mouth but...damn," you added, staring at the crystal chandelier hanging from the exceptionally high ceiling.

"Hey, check this out!" Sy called from the living room.

You were so wrapped up in your surroundings, that you hadn't even noticed he wasn't standing next to you anymore.

"May I please remind you that this is my boss's place? You can't just go around and touch every- HOLY FUCK THAT'S BIG"

You found Sy with a remote in his hand, standing in front of what was probably the biggest television you had ever seen in your entire life. I mean, it genuinely bordered on a home cinema. It was ginormous.

"You know Sugar, usually when I hear a woman say something like it it's not about a TV," he grinned, making you blush before you hit him with a pillow, hoping he wouldn't notice.

"You're an idiot," you claimed, trying not to laugh but miserably failing.

"You love it," he grinned again, making you roll your eyes.

"Whatever Syverson, I'm gonna go check out the rooms."

"Hold on, I'm coming with you before you snatch the best one."

Sy was hot on your heels as you rounded the corner. His massive chest colliding with your back when you came to a sudden stop.

“Holy. Shit.”

You stared in awe at what was the most gorgeous indoor pool you had ever seen in your entire life (well in all honesty, it was the only indoor pool you had ever seen in real life)

There were floor to ceiling windows and rows of luxurious pool chairs on each side.

“Damn, does this guy crap money?”

Sy’s rough baritone snapped you out of your astonishment, earning him yet another (playful) eye-roll

You and Sy snooped wandered around the mansion for good 20 minutes before you even got to the upstairs area. There was a long hallway leading up to beautiful French doors.

"That's probably the master bedroom, right?", you questioned, motioning towards the doors.

"Probably", he mumbled, "let's go check it out."

"No wait! We shouldn't...", you grabbed his arm, "It's not nice to snoop."

"Oh please, what have we been doing for the past half hour?", he chuckled, "Won't hurt to look, right?"

"Alright fine...just in and out, no unnecessary touching."

"Funny, that's exactly what my last hook-up said."

Sy whistled behind you as the bedroom was revealed.

"Sweet baby Jesus...." you mumbled, eyes wide as you took in the gorgeous interior.

Everything looked luxurious and expensive. Panel pair curtains matched the shades of the bedsheets and the accent wall. There were fresh flowers on what looked like a pure sandalwood dresser with golden details. Everything was perfect.

"I call dibs," Sy announced, making you snap your head at him.

"Like hell! I'm the one who got us here,"

"Correction, you are the one who forced us to come here, so it would only be fair if I got the master bedroom. As a reward for coming with you," he explained, crossing his arms.

"You're joking, right? What happened to 'Don't ya worry Sugah, I'm a real Southern gentleman!'" you imitated in a thick Southern accent.

"Hey, I do not sound like that!" he pointed his finger at you and you couldn't help but giggle.

"Settle down, cowboy. I'll check the other rooms." The truth is, yeah, that master bedroom was gorgeous, but you cared about Sy and he was still hurt, so if he wanted the master bedroom, you'd gladly let him have it.

You marched toward the closest room, ready to be stunned again. But when you tried the door, you couldn't get it open. You tried the handle again, rumbling the door a little.

"Locked?" Sy questioned.

"Maybe it's a home office, there might be private papers and stuff."

"Or a sex dungeon,"

"You are sick, Syverson. Really fucking sick."

He chuckled at that and you quickly turned around again, partly to try the next door, partly to hide the smile he had managed to put on your face.

"What the...it's locked again. Could you try that one?"

You and Sy tried every single door that could possibly be a bedroom, only to find them all locked. It was getting kinda ridiculous at this point, so you decided to text Liz.

"Sneaky bitch..." you mumbled as you stared at your phone screen.

"So?" Sy asked, "what did she say?"

"She uhm,...the key isn't here, he forgot."

"He forgot?" he frowned

"Apparently..." you looked around awkwardly.

Liz was so fucking dead when she got back from her stupid Paris trip.

“Guess we’re bunking together then, roomie” Sy grinned, but when he saw you awkwardly shuffling around and stare at your feet instead of grinning back at him, he nudged your shoulder “hey, I’m kidding, I can sleep on one of the pool chairs or something it’ll be fine”

“Sy, don’t be ridiculous I’m not letting you sleep on a pool chair”

“What? I’ve slept on worse, come to think of it, its kinda look our cots back on base, it’ll feel just like home”

“Base is home?” You said it without even thinking, the words tumbled over your lips before you could stop them and you couldn’t help but pair them with a slightly saddened expression.

“I didn’t mean it like that…”

“I mean I kinda get that, I can imagine it grows on you”, you felt like you were treading dangerous territory, but so was he. He knew you worked so hard to make your place a home, he truly didn’t mean to-

“Wanna go for a swim?” You interrupted his thought spiral

“I’d love to”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

You dipped your toes in the water, finding it perfectly heated.

You had gotten changed first, covering yourself in your fluffy bathrobe before heading for the pool and waiting for Sy there, while impatiently checking the temperature.

"How is it?"

Once again the deep bass of Sy's voice pulled you back to the present.

"It's perfect. I'm not surprised, to be honest, he probably has some fancy heating syste-euhm...", your voice trailed off when you saw Sy's beautifully beefy chest. His baggy swim trunks hung low on his hips and the hair from his chest trailed down all the way to-

"Sugar?"

"P-perfect", you babbled, "UH- the water! It's perfect...nice and warm"

He threw his signature grin your way and you swore you felt your knees buckle. That grin was almost too much to handle on a regular day. The grin + him shirtless + THE SNAIL TRAIL???? Yeah you didn't stand a chance.

"You gonna swim with the robe on, Sugar?"

"Jeez, Captain if you wanted me to strip that bad all you had to do was ask"

Alright, you may have sounded confident, but this was all fake it till you make it.

Sy jumped in the water to hide his grin, nearly splashing you in the process.

You threw your robe on one of the pool chairs and your eyes found his right as he resurfaced. He took you in, you could tell. For a second you had the urge to cover yourself up, hiding the parts your black bikini failed to cover, but you opted against it, desperately trying to keep the confident act up.

It was quiet for a second or two while you just looked at each other.

"Perfect...", his voice was barely above a whisper, "The uh..., the water. You were right, the temperature is perfect."

You couldn't help but smile as you realized he was just as nervous as you were. Finally, you fully got in the pool too, relaxing a bit as the warm water surrounded you.

"I could get used to this", you sighed.

"We could put a kiddy pool in our living room If that makes ya feel better?"

You snorted at that, "Yeah, and then have Aika jump in and our entire place smelling like wet dog? No thanks, that kinda takes away the whole relaxing aspect in my opinion"

"Oh alright, Miss Fancy", he splashed some water your way.

"Fuck SY! I wasn't gonna wet my hair!" you shrieked.

"What kinda bullshit is that? Why would you get in the pool if you didn't wanna wet your hair?", his eyebrows furrowed, "too late now anyway, Sugar" he chuckled, splashing you again, right in your eyes this time.

"Ah, shit!" your hands flew to your face as you frantically rubbed your eyes as you turned away from him to shield yourself.

"Shit! Sorry, Sugar, u okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine you fucking idiot", realization didn't hit you until you saw the black streaks on your palms, "Fuck, I was wearing makeup", you mumbled.

Alright. You knew it was ridiculous, wearing makeup to the pool. But it wasn't a lot or anything, just some mascara and a little bit of concealer here and there. You weren't even planning on it, honest to god. But when you thought about Sy seeing you in a bikini for the first time you couldn't help but feel a bit insecure, so you needed something to bump your confidence, just a little bit.

You should have known boys will always be boys. And there's no keeping it dry when Sy is around anyway.

"Sugar? You can turn back around now, I promise no more splashing",

Ugh fuck fuck fuck...You still had your back to him. You couldn't turn around now, you probably looked like a panda. And you didn't want him to know you wore makeup to the pool, he would never stop laughing at you.

"I uh...I think I'm gonna get out...I'm getting kinda cold", you tried to keep your face away from him as you made your way to the ladder, but as per usual, he was too quick for you.

"What? The pool is heated, besides, I can keep ya warm. I swear I'm sorry Sugar, c'mon don't leave?", you felt his big hands circle your waist under the water, pulling your floating body closer to him in a matter of seconds. Your back hit his warm fuzzy chest and you stiffled a moan.

Okay, he wasn't gonna let you leave, new plan...

You desperately wiped under your eyes, hoping to god he wouldn't see.

"Wh-are you...are you crying?", he sounded genuinely concerned, "Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to Sugar I promise, lemme see", he carefully turned you around in his arms

"No no, Sy you didn't hurt me, I'm not crying I just..." your eyes met his and for a second he looked even more confused, "Why do you look like Batman?", he grinned.

"Ugghhhh..." you groaned in embarrassment, "I just...I just tried out a new mascara this morning and I forgot I had it on...I have makeup wiped in my bag upstairs just lemme go take it off", you rambled trying to get out of his grip but he didn't budge.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous, Sugar, just do that later."

"Sy, I'm not being ridiculous I LOOK ridiculous, just let me go fix it I'll be back in a minute."

You tried leaving again, but this time his big paws grabbed you by the face, gently but still firm.

"You don't look ridiculous, Sugar...C'mere..."

For a second you thought he was going to kiss you and your eyes fell shut, but instead, you felt his thumbs wipe away the dark streaks.

"There ya go...all better", he smirked. "No more Batman."

"Ugh, shut up", now it was your turn to splash him.

"Oh don't start what you can't finish, dear." his devilish smirk was enough to make you squeal as you backed up.

"No, Sy come on! My hair!", you swam as fast as you could, and just when you thought you could get away, you felt a hand wrap around your ankle.

"Oh no ya don't", he pulled you back to him within seconds, and just like that...your hair wasn't the only thing getting wet against your will...

"I think your face could use another wash," was all he said before pushing your shoulders down under the water, you came back up immediately gasping for air.

"I can't believe you did that!" you sputtered as he just stood there laughing. You didn't even think before jumping on his back, trying to push him down. Looking back that may have been a dumb idea because the captain didn't budge. If anything, it just made him laugh harder. "Aww, isn't that cute? Well, Sugar if I'm going down, I'm taking you with me..."

"No, Sy", you felt his arms tighten around your legs, "no no no no no n-" he dove underwater, keeping his promise and indeed taking you with him.

"T-truce" you breathed out the second you got up for air, "truce truce truce!", you were out of breath, probably looking like a drowned panda bear and the chlorine mixed with your leftover mascara was stinging in your eyes, "fucking hell, this was not as relaxing as I had in mind", you muttered to yourself.

Sy chuckled, obviously he was looking handsome as ever while you felt like you looked like you were just spit out by something.

"C'mere...truce accepted," he gently pulled you against him again, his fingertips trailing down your sides to your thighs, 'up', he commanded and you unsurely wrapped your legs around his waist, letting him guide you. "there ya go, good girl."

You felt your cheeks heat up and told yourself it was just from his body heat.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and snuggled into the crook of his neck while he slowly floated the both of you through the warm water. A wave of exhaustion suddenly came over you. You were too tired and comfortable to overthink what exactly was happening.

_____________________________________________________________

"Hey Sugar..."

"Hmmm?"

"I really think we just get out now..."

It took you a while to realize you were still in the pool, still in Sy's arms.

"Hm fuck...did I...did I fall asleep?"

"Only a little"

"How long was I out?"

"A good 20 minutes, never seen ya shut up for that long, had to check if you were still breathing"

You wanted to make a snarky comment but all you could muster was a grin before finally peeling yourself off of him and getting out of the water.

"Im starving," Sy said as he reached for his towel.

"Yeah, me too. Do you wanna order pizza? I'm too scared to touch anything in that kitchen"

"Sounds good, probably for the best anyway, don't need ya setting the place on fire"

You threw one of your towels at his face, "Shut it, Syverson. I'm showering first and if I were you i'd be nice to me cause I won't hesitate to use up all the hot water."

"S'fine, Sugar. I'm a military man. Nothing I can't handle", he grinned and watched you turn around with a smirk on your face.

"I could probably do with a cold shower anyway..." he muttered to himself as he watched you walk away, thanking all that was good and pure for not letting you notice the massive hard-on he was hiding while you were snoozing in his arms.

"You order, I shower", you yelled back, "I'll take pepperoni, Cap!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

45 minutes later you and Sy sat on the massive suede couch, freshly showered, clad in fluffy white bathrobes, and munching on pizza.

"That's such bullshit!" you laughed

"Is not! I swear to you, Sugar! He just stood there in nothing but a thong. Traumatized the entire squad."

"Where the hell did he get a thong in the middle of the desert?!"

"Fuck do I know?! He musta brought it with him?"

You were dying laughing, like actually proper laughing. Tears nearly in your eyes, face red hot, snorting out laughing.

"Sy, there is no way one of your men walked around on base in the middle of the night in nothing but a thong."

"Sugar, I swear to ya, I'm a lot'a things, but a liar ain't one of 'em."

"So what did you do?"

"Sent the fucker home."

"Maybe that was his plan all along? Maybe he just wanted to get sent home?"

"Maybe, Sugar. Maybe." he took another swig of his beer as you chomped down the last bite of your pizza and a comfortable silence settled over you.

"I think I should probably head to bed, I'm exhausted."

"Yeah, me too", he agreed, "I'll just take some things out'a the room and then I'll be good to sleep here."

"Sy, please, don't be silly", you argued, "I was drooling on your shoulder barely an hour ago, I'm sure we can share a bed for one night."

He chuckled at that, "Alright I guess you got a point there, but only if you're sure."

"Yeah, I'm sure genius, but no funny business", you pointed your finger at him.

"Yes ma'am, Roger that", he smirked.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You stared at yourself in the bathroom mirror.

Skincare done, teeth brushed, hair blow dried, perfume sprayed, pajamas on.

Alright, okay. There's only so much you can do to get ready for bed.

"You're gonna have to go out there sooner or later" you spoke softly to your own reflection.

Jesus Christ this was ridiculous. This was YOUR idea. It's just sleeping. You did it before. Earlier tonight, in fact. Just get out there, get in the bed, close your eyes, and go to sleep. Nothing special.

Maybe that was the problem. Maybe you wanted it to be special. What if he didn't? Oh god, what if he DID?

You took a deep breath and finally opened the door.

"Sorry I took so long, I couldn't find my night cre-...Sy?"

There he was. Bulging shoulders on full display, the muscles on his back moving with each breath, the waistband of his boxers peeking out just above where the sheets covered his butt.

His bearded face snuggled into his pillow, his large arms curling underneath it.

You couldn't help but smile as you looked down at him. The true definition of a gentle giant. It was beyond you how someone could look so fucking sexy and so fucking cute at the same time.

You finally crawled into bed next to him, careful not to wake him up. But as you turned over on your side to turn your nightlight off, you suddenly his beefy arm snaked its way around you and pulled you close to him.

You barely managed to flip the switch before feeling his warm chest against your back again. His beard tickled the back of your neck a little making you grin, soft snores telling you he was still fast asleep..

It felt so good, so safe, so warm, so comfortable...you dozed off with a smile on your face, and not a care in the world...

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[creedslove]

my period cramps are killing me. (literally I'm crying and laying in my bed rn)

I need my handsome DEA agent to lay down with me and hold me until the pain will finally dissappear 😩

(at this point I think I'm dying, why does it have to be so baad??)

Javier Peña x f!reader

A/N: I know bestie, I've had my period for two months now, I went to the doctor got some meds to cut it but it still won't go away 😭 I can't stand it anymore

• Javi HATES to see you in pain, but when I say he hates it, I mean it, he hates it with passion because he can't bear his cariño suffering like that, and to make things worse, he can't do anything about it

• of course he does what he can, but if he could, he would take the pain away from you, or he would find a way to prevent you from getting your period in the first place

• in fact, Javi knows a very good way to prevent you from getting your period and every time he's buried deep inside your cunt his cock twitches just at the mere thought of it, but he knows he can't do it without a warning, so he does whatever he can to relief your stress and pain

• also, Javi is 100% pro the orgasm method to handle the pain, if he can give you one to fight off your cramps and other discomforts of your period, he will gladly do it, however, he also respects your needs and if that's a no go area for you during that time, he will find other ways of dealing with it

• I will always defend my thesis that Javi was a mama boy while growing up and that's why he learned how to treat women so well, which includes knowing how to handle them when they are in pain, so yeah, you can expect him to make you tea, get you a heating pad and he will make late a night runs into the drugstore just to get your painkillers

• he would also bring you a small treat kinda like a cat, so you can expect him with a granola bar, or a little chocolate or some flower he found on the street, just to see you smile

• he will hold you until you are asleep, he'll rub your back, kiss the top of your head and make sure to remind you the pain will go away and you will soon go back to being his beautiful rayo de sol ☀️

____

[bug-is-snug]

starved

inspired by @groguspicklejar (you are so good at atmosphere omgggg???)

Part two

plot: you're a zombie babe <3 put y'all seatbelts on CW: depictions of violence, depictions of obsession, gore, eventual self-cannibalism (stay safe besties), blood, gore, eventual smut banner by: @frostthecupcake (deactivated) and found by using "Find A Banner" A/N: This is my first time posting a fanfic of mine! Please be gentle with me ;-;

'I am starving...' The words were so familiar to you that you barely registered that they echoed the moment you saw your Captain's exposed wrist. Captain John Price, a stern and loyal man. He always made you feel safe...he always made you... Hungry. You inhaled sharply as you looked up at your Captain, finally registering that he had been calling your name. "Are you alright, love?" His usual tone had taken one of concern as his eyes stared into your own. "Ah-" You smiled nervously as you nodded, "Yes, sir, I'm fine. Just...deep in thought, I guess! What were you asking me?" "I was asking if you had gotten your paperwork done yet. You look exhausted." He stood up straight, crossing his arms over his chest as his raised a brow. Perhaps your narrator should explain; it started around... Three months ago...

It was supposed to be a good Ol' typical hostage situation. Get the hostage, get a Medevac if needed, another easy adventure for our favorite Task Force! Right? Oh, how terribly wrong you were. Nothing could have prepared you for the moment you were slammed against a wall by the hostage no less! You had been sent in to grab the scientist! A scientist! Some little nerd working on bioweapons! Surely, they wouldn't be aggressive, right? The wind was knocked from your lungs as you tried your best to fend off your attacker. His snapping teeth dangerously close to your neck as you forced his head back with one hand, your arm shoving him away by his shoulder. Why did you have to be so stubborn? Why didn't you just let Soap help you? Why did you INSIST on going in alone?! Why couldn't you just accept help?! You couldn't contain your scream as the doctor sunk his teeth into your exposed wrist, the smell of rot and blood immediately clouding your brain and making you dizzy. The rest of that mission was fuzzy, really... You don't remember Soap immediately coming to your aid the moment he heard your scream from down the hall. You don't remember fainting. You don't remember a lot of that day after the attack... Back to the current day, "Y-yeah, yeah- no- uh.." You stumbled over your words as you rubbed your face, "I've just not been sleepin' too well. Sorry, Cap." A half-lie...you could tell Price didn't buy it either, but what else could you say? What were you supposed to do? Tell him how you've dreamt of sinking your teeth into his neck the night after catching him walking back from a workout? Tell him how your heart ached when imagining yourself sinking your teeth into your Lieutenant's arm every time he offered your paperwork to you? How it takes everything in your body to stop yourself from licking the blood from Gaz's wounds when he gets a bump or scrape when in the field? Or how the smell of Johnny's sweat makes your head swim with thoughts of ripping his ribs apart with your bare hands? Obviously, you can't just say that! Wh- who even-? No! Just, no! So, you lie. You lie and lie and lie until you can't keep track of your lies anymore. "I think I just need to go to bed...Would that be okay?" You gave your Captain a forced smile that almost felt like a grimace. He stared with eyes that seemed to look right through you, "...Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt. Go rest up, love. I'm sure I can handle the rest from here." You sighed in relief, standing up and organizing your papers for a moment before giving your Captain an appreciative nod before you left the room. You could feel his eyes boring into the back of your skull as you walked away, but you didn't falter. Don't worry, darling, your team has noticed the lies. They've noticed your change in behavior. And it's only a matter of time until you slip up...

[doctorwhocreations]

Human Nature

This is a long one but proud of it! Written by both me and my lovely bestie @whodoyoudo Enjoy!

When I agreed to travel with the Doctor, I expected adventures through space, to distant planets and to time periods that I never could have imagined. Yet here I was scrubbing floors in a Victorian school with my fellow companion, Martha Jones. Now the once, wonderful Doctor I had known, has now gone into hiding as a human, he calls himself Dr John Smith in this reality. For some reason the TARDIS crash landed us in a small english village in 1913, it was as if the Doctor never existed. 

In the 9 months that I have been travelling with the Doctor and Martha, it never once occurred to me that I would ever develop feelings for him. I kept my feelings to myself, since it seemed that Martha liked him too. Occasionally she would say how he fitted well in his suit, or casually comment on how the Doctor’s hair looked nice enough to run her fingers through. I never agreed with her… but I never NOT disagreed with her.

The bell had just rung and students had all finished for the day, while me and Martha were left to scrub the floor with brushes. I heard the door creak open and John Smith carried his books with him, as he dodged our soapy area on the floor. John Smith seemed to carry a different demeanour, he was strict and not the happy go lucky Doctor we once had known. I had to shake the thought away, this was a different man, it was as if I was grieving for the person I once knew.

I looked up as John Smith walked by, “Good morning Sir!” I said in a bright upbeat tone, whilst smiling. 

For a brief moment, he turned his head towards me in slight confusion as if to say, “why is this maid addressing me?” With the same expression he responded in an emotionless tone, “Good morning.” 

The Headmaster quickly walked through, looking down at me and Martha. He frowned at how dirty the floor was that we were scrubbing, thanks to the rugby teams not cleaning their muddy shoes before coming in. 

“Better get a move on you two! I want this floor spotless.” The Headmaster yelled.

Mr Smith waited behind for the headmaster to leave then continued to walk by.

I lowered my head, Martha looked over to me, “Hey, just ignore him.” “I don’t care about him.” I sighed, as I scrubbed the floor even harder, “How much longer do we have to stay here for? Did the Doctor even say anything about that?” Martha sighed, she was getting fed up with me asking, “Until those aliens that are tracking us back off. The Doctor has a plan, we have to trust it and keep an eye on him.” “How can we do that if he doesn’t even acknowledge my- Our existence!” Martha raised an eyebrow, “Right… Well he didn’t exactly say how long he would be in hiding for…” I felt a lump in my throat, “What if we are stuck here forever? It’s been nearly 3 months, Martha!” 

Martha put her hand on the brush I’m holding, “Y/N! Calm down, it’s not going to help any, is it? Let me finish this, you go make yourself a cuppa.”

I flopped onto the bed, staring at the ceiling, I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take. I pondered at the memories of the Doctor, whenever the Doctor did notice me it wasn’t very often.. we be so caught up in running away from aliens or the Doctor searching for clues, seeking information from a computer or robot or local on a abandoned spaceship. But sometimes we’d have intimate moments, sometimes he’d look at me with a slight sparkle to his eyes, in a different way from usual.

For example, there was a time before we went to the Lazarus Laboratories launch party, as I left my room, I noticed the Doctor stare at me a little longer than usual, since it was the first time he saw me in a formal dress.

I loved how his hand felt in mine. Whenever we were running away from danger, I was too busy feeling scared to savour the moment.

And now all I had of the Doctor was his empty TARDIS and his jacket that was left behind on his seat. Now and then I managed to get away from the school, I would sit in the TARDIS alone and cling onto his jacket and cry into it, as if it was the last remains of my Doctor.

“Are you sure you don't want to give Mr Smith his breakfast? I don’t mind, I’ve been doing it every morning so far.” Martha asked as she was about to head out.

I tied my apron over my uniform and looked in the mirror, acting as if I was fine. I had to remember this is what the Doctor had to do, he had no choice. He would want me to be strong, but my patience was wearing thin.

I sighed, “No you do it, Martha. I give up trying to get to know this Mr Smith.” Martha shrugged as she left, “If you insist. See you later.”

My forced smile dropped as the door closed. As I combed my hair, the thought of seeing the Doctor, aka John Smith in his pyjamas, did appeal. But the aching in my chest outweighed any other emotion, the feeling of being in the same room as someone I once loved.

Martha knocked on the door, then proceeded to walk in carrying Mr Smith’s breakfast. Her eyes widened as she noticed him wrapping his dressing gown over himself. “Sorry Sir! I can come back when you are properly dressed.” Martha said as she looked away trying her best not to stare. 

“No no it’s quite alright.” Mr Smith said in an upbeat sort of manner.

 “Very well sir.” Martha then continued to walk in, placing his breakfast down and beginning to brew the tea. “You know I had the funniest dream last night. I had this dream that I was some kind of adventurer, this daredevil, a madman! The Doctor I’m called and last night I dreamt that you were there.” He said in such an excited, curious voice. “Your friend, colleague was there too…Sorry what is her name?” 

“Y/N Sir, that’s her name.” 

A bright smile appeared on his face, lost in thought as he continued with the story of his dream.

“Well you were both there as my companions.” He continued. 

“The teacher and the housemaids, sir?” Martha shook her head as she smiled, “That’s impossible.” 

“I’m a man from another world.” John Smith counteracts. 

“Well then it can’t be true because there’s no such thing.” Martha finished as she continued to make Mr Smith’s tea.

“Well it was a fascinating dream, we traveled together and saw the most exotic of places.” Mr Smith continued, Martha handed him a newspaper, he read it as he sipped his tea. “Dreams are called dreams for a reason, sir.” Martha smiled.“I guess so.” His eyes looked sad for a moment.  He looked at the clock on the mantelpiece, “Oh before you go, Miss Jones.”

Martha raised an eyebrow, “Yes?” “Is that friend of yours avoiding me? She hasn’t served me tea once!” “What? No, of course not, sir.” She lied.

Mr Smith nodded, “Sure..” He seemed unconvinced. 

Later on, Martha had told me what happened as we tidied up the other rooms, I cringed slightly. I didn’t even realize how it must have seemed, I’ve been working here for over a month. I assumed Mr Smith was too busy, keeping his students in order, marking papers, to even take any notice that one maid hadn’t interacted with him much.

The following day, I was dusting the top shelves of Professor Piers' room (He was an old man who very much enjoyed putting a woman in their place, but then he would be quick to comment on my uniform being nicely tight fitting.. creep). 

I heard a voice from the doorway, “It’s very unprofessional you know.” I wobbled slightly from the stool I was standing on, “Excuse me?!” At that moment I realised it was Mr Smith, I cleared my throat and approached him. “Sorry i didn’t mean to- You almost fell I-” He stammered, this Mr Smith was not as good with his words, compared to the Doctor.

“Yes, Mr Smith?” I asked a bit too abruptly.

“I mean, it’s unprofessional that.. It seems.. That you don’t like to be around me.” He attempted to explain, “Have I done something to upset you?”

“Sir, I must really carry on with my duties or I will be told off by Pervy- I mean Professor Piers.”

My cheeks turned red, he chuckled, “Is that your nickname for him? Pervy Piers?” I looked away, “He is inappropriate at times, yes. Now I must go-” He blocked the doorway, “You didn't answer my question.”

“Sir! Please, I don’t want to be yelled at-” He took the feather duster off me and entered the room, “I know, I will help you dust and we can chat.”

I stood unable to react, he smiled back at me, “Come on then, maid!”

I hesitated for a split second, then thought for a moment it was as if the Doctor was saying those words, not Mr. John Smith. 

John Smith stood on the stool, I was once on, reaching for the farthest corners I was unable to reach. I realised I was staring for too long, I abruptly took my eyes off of him and proceeded to pick up a few books that had been left lywaing about on the side.

 I broke the silence and said, “You haven't done anything wrong by the way, I didn’t mean to avoid you.. It’s just that you look like someone I used to know.” “Oh.” He squeaked, he stepped off the stool and handed back the feather duster, “Is that a bad thing?” “In some ways yes…” I said with my head hung low, as I held books close to my chest. 

“What do you mean? If you don’t mind me asking of course?” Mr Smith turned to face me, carrying a book in hand. 

“It’s just.. I had a friend, we used to travel together but now… he’s um.. He’s gone.” I said. I passed along the books and Mr Smith slotted them into the shelf, “I’m sorry about that.” Mr Smith continued, “But it’s best not to judge a book by its cover.” He said in a serious yet reassuring manner. 

“Well that’s about as clean as Pervy Piers’ room is going to get.” Mr Smith said with a smirk.

“Thank you for helping me, sir. You really didn’t have to.” “It’s fine, I had a free period anyway. Also call me John, when I’m out of hours.”

I could feel my cheeks beginning to heat up. As he got a tad bit closer to me. 

Suddenly the headmaster cleared his throat, “Mr Smith what are you doing in Mr Piers room.. Talking to a maid?”

“Sorry sir, I was just having a word and I-” “I don’t want to hear it, don’t let it happen again.” He warned, Mr Smith passed by me quickly and disappeared down the hallway. 

The Headmaster looked over to me, “You better know your place, madam.” I lowered my head, “Yes sir.” I said leaving immediately.

That evening, I told Martha what had happened with Mr Smith as we ate our evening meal. “That headmaster is rude to everyone.” Martha reassured me.I folded my arms, “I know but he made it sound like we were having an affair or something! What if he says something to someone, or I lose my job? Where am I meant to go if I lose my job!?”

Martha placed her hand on my sholder, “Y/N, it won't come to that, okay?” 

I could feel the tears beginning to well up in my eyes. Getting up quickly I brushed my apron down. “I-I just need to be alone with my thoughts.” When I made my way to the door, as I opened it, I found Mr Smith standing in the hallway . 

“Oh, I’m sorry, is this a bad time?” Martha looked toward me for my reaction, I was frozen. Martha sighed and quickly stepped in front of me. “Is there something you need, sir?” 

“No, well I just- yes actually. I wanted to apologise for earlier. I shouldn’t have just walked off like that. I do hope you didn’t get into any trouble because of me, Miss Y/N.” Mr Smith said in a worried tone. 

“What’s done is done, Mr Smith. There’s no point worrying.” I said before leaving the room.

Mr Smith gave Martha a look, before going after me.

“Miss L/N!”

I couldn’t believe this was happening, the human version of the Doctor, following me through an empty school at night. I wanted to go to the TARDIS, to my safe space and cry, but I couldn’t, not here. I hated crying in front of the Doctor, so the thought of crying in front of Mr Smith was the last thing I needed. “Leave me alone, please!”

Mr Smith stopped in his tracks, “I’m sorry I was just trying to-”

“I’m fine really. After all, it wouldn't be proper to be seen with a maid after hours.” I replied back harshly.

I continued to walk out in the courtyard to retreat into the TARDIS, as Mr Smith was left behind to ponder with his thoughts. 

I woke up the next day to find Chrysanthemums in a vase near my bedside table. Martha was up and dressed, doing her hair and gave me a smile, “Found them outside the door this morning, it came with an envelope with your name on it.”

“I hope it’s not from Pervy Piers.” I sighed. Martha teased, “Ooo! A admirer”

“Ew! Pretty sure Professor Piers is old enough to be my grandad.. Wait, maybe even my great grandad!” I laughed.

“At least he has good taste.” Martha commented.

It was like any other day in this dull boarding school, the only thing that would make my day would be a cup of tea or falling asleep, to have dreams that I’m back with the Doctor in the TARDIS. Then I wake up to the reality that was now my nightmare, a world without the Doctor. 

As I was cleaning the windows, a ball came hurling my way from a nearby field. I managed to duck in time, but it smashed the window I was cleaning. The shards of glass came raining on me, I laid motionless for a moment. 

I could hear angry voices in the distance, telling the lad off who kicked the ball. I felt a sharp pain on my face, then I noticed blood drip onto my uniform. 

“Are you okay, Miss L/N?” 

I rose to my feet, I smiled trying to leave, “Just a little cut.” Mr Smith grabbed my arm, “You’re bleeding. I will escort you to the First Aid room.” “I will dab it with a cloth, it will be fine.” “Y/N, does it hurt?”

I quietly nodded, he had a serious look on his face, he handed me a clean handkerchief, “Put some pressure on it.”

Mr Smith led me back inside, I placed the cloth on my bleeding face, “But you have students to watch.” “There’s more than one teacher on duty, it’s fine.” He insisted, he broke into a little smile, “I guess I will have to send you more flowers after this.”

“Wait.. those flowers were from you? I thought they were from Professor Piers.”

“PERVY PIERS!? No, I sent them, for getting you into trouble yesterday. I went out my way picking them out for you!” 

I blushed a little, “I’m just a maid, sir.” “You’re not just a-” We reached the first aid office, a nurse gasped at my face and rushed me into the room, I turned back to Mr Smith, “Thank you.” I tried to hand back his handkerchief, he shook his head.

“You can keep it.” He lingered for a while before going back outside.

Maybe this Mr Smith wasn’t so bad after all.

Although it was November, it was a sunny Saturday afternoon, which meant it was my day off! It was a relief to not wear that dull awful maid uniform. I sat on the bench in the park in the village, it was nice to not be seen as someone’s servant or maid. Just a woman who could be of any status. 

I wore a long red coat with a matching hat and a checked scarf. In moments like this, I felt elegant in this time period and became quite accustomed to it (if you ignore the racism, sexism and so forth..).

I read a book I borrowed from the TARDIS library, “Pride and Prejudice?” A voice questioned.I blushed to see Mr Smith, wearing a grey coat with a black hat, he smirked, “Interesting choice.”

“Oh er-” I wish I picked something that had been published after 1913 now, not thinking Mr Smith would even know about. But I guess I didn’t want to cause any disturbance by choosing a book from the future, well my present. 

He sat beside me, "You have bewitched me, body and soul.”

“Excuse me?” His eyes widened, “Oh it’s a quote!” “Oh yes, I have not reached that part yet, Mr Smith.” “John, on my days off, remember?” He reminded me, “I could lend you a book if you want?” I nodded, not knowing how to respond, he  was close now, if the Doctor ever say this close to me, I'd probably melt.. which was hard not to, he had the same face. 

There didn't seem to be anyone about, anyone passing by would think we're a couple or even a reserved married couple.

"Y/N I don't know what it is, but I feel very drawn to you."

I smiled, "Really? I'm just a maid."

"You're not just a maid." His voice was low and serious.

He kissed my cheek, he got up smoothly, his face was bright red, “Right, I shall leave you to your reading. Good day, miss L/N.”

He left hastily, I gave an awkward wave, trying to process what just happened.

I noticed in the distance, a girl holding a red balloon staring in my direction, she sniffed, a shiver went up my spine, I closed my book and walked away.

 quickly, as the scarecrows fumbled away as I escaped out of their grasp.

“How could such a sweet little girl look so… menacing at the same time?” 

Shaking my head of my thoughts I carried on walking away, still sensing her presence I began to speed up my walk a bit more. 

Then suddenly out of nowhere some idiot dressed as a scarecrow jumped out at me. I was startled for a moment, then began to feel a sudden anger wash over me.

“Oh very funny!! You think it’s funny to jump out at people and try to scare them? And as for you!” I quickly turned around to face that little girl…But she had gone? So fast? How is that possible? I turned back to the scarecrow, and more of them appeared! 

In a panic I lashed out at one of them, grabbing it by the arm only for it to fall to the ground. “Straw?!  B-But..” Realisation hit me as they got closer ready to grab hold of me. They were aliens! They had to be!   

I managed to duck out of the way

I ran all the way back to the school through the woods, I nearly collided into Martha in the hallway, as she was brushing up. “MARTHA! They’re here, the family of blood, we need the Doctor!!” I shrieked. 

“No! Where?”

“In the village, they are controlling the scarecrows!”

Martha quickly cleared her throat, as a teacher called Mrs Berry walked by.

“Ladies, lower your voices.” She hushed, then a young boy ran past her, “Timothy come on, no running!”I leaned closer to Martha, “We should talk about it in our room.” “Or at the pub?” She smiled. I sighed, “I’m not sitting in the cold again, Martha!”

Martha pointed to her uniform, “Well as you can see, I am still working, so go get that watch off Mr Smith and open it!” I frowned, “What? I can’t just go into his room.” “Why not? He seems to like you.” Martha smirked. I shook my head, “Martha stop it! Why can’t you do it?”

“I think he’d prefer to see you over me… So make something up.” I blushed recalling the kiss on the cheek,I wouldn't repeat that outloud. I thought of another excuse, "He is supposed to be lending me a book…” “There you go!” Martha urged as she gave me a little shove, “I will keep a lookout for anything unusual, now go!”

My heart was fluttering, the thought of having the Doctor back.. MY Doctor! But first I had to face the reality that Martha was maybe right, that this Mr Smith may somehow like me? 

I took a deep breath as I stood outside his door, how do I snatch a watch without him noticing? Well the Doctor did say he had a blocker on, so the human version of himself would take no notice of it.

I entered the room, not expecting Mr Smith to be back yet from his walk, but there he was with a woman draped over him. I froze, it was Miss Berry.

“Aren’t you the maid?” Miss Berry asked in an arrogant tone, “Don’t you know how to knock?”

I forced a smile fighting back the tears, “I.. I am sorry for intruding.”

Mr Smith’s eyes were wide, “Y/N it’s not what it seems.” I ignored his words and closed the door behind me. I felt my chest ache, I was wrong. So wrong. To think the Doctor or even this John Smith was capable of ever returning my feelings. 

“Y/N! People are in danger! You walking in on Mr Smith with some woman doesn’t matter! We need that watch asap!”

Martha started storming towards Mr Smith’s room, I followed her frantically, “Wait! Martha you can’t just-” “Y/N! Snap out of it! People have died, my friend Jenny… She’s not who she was.” Martha yelled. “Jenny?” I recalled, Martha used to go to the pub with her and she was a fellow maid. My heart sank, how could I become so oblivious?

Martha barged into Mr Smith’s room, he looked startled, “Miss Jones what did I say about knocking?!” She pointed to the watch, “We need that watch, and you’re not John Smith, you’re the Doctor!”

I lowered my head, as he approached, “What is she going on about Miss L/N!?”

I sighed, “The dreams you’ve been having.. They are all true.” He shook his head,“Is this a prank? Is this because of what happened earlier, a weird way of getting back to me, to convey your jealousy?” He blushed as he locked as with me, “Nothing even happened, I don’t like her in that way!!” I frowned, “No! Of course not! Ioff Mr Smith and open it!” I frowned, “What? I can’t just go into his room.” “Why not? He seems to like you.” Martha smirked. I shook my head, “Martha stop it! Why can’t you do it?”“I think he’d prefer to see you over me… So make something up.” I blushed recalling the kiss on the cheek,I wouldn't repeat that outloud. I thought of another excuse, "He is supposed to be lending me a book…” “There you go!” Martha urged as she gave me a little shove, “I will keep a lookout for anything unusual, now go!”

 don’t care about that, it doesn't matter anymore!” 

“Whatever do you mean!?” 

I stepped forward closer to him, “Mr.Smith people have died, a great deal more will, if you don’t open that watch!!” 

He laughed in disbelief, “How many of those stories have you been reading Y/N? This is completely barbaric!” 

John Smith stood hands on his hips, the most confused and angry I have ever seen. 

I groaned as John wasn’t taking in what me or Martha have even said. 

I began frantically looking around for the watch. “Martha have you found it!?” 

On the other side of the room Martha goes through a bunch of letters and documents. “NO!! ARGH!!” She lashes out, kicking the papers into the air. “MARTHA!! What on earth are you both doing? No wait- Those are the students' reports! Isn’t the point of maids, that they tidy up, not wreck havoc!” Mr Smith shrieked.

Looking back at John with sorry eyes I tried to get him to see reason. “Please Doctor, you have to understand this is important!” 

“Wait..Did you say people have died!? Who!?”

I looked back at him, getting closer in a comforting manner. 

Martha whipped her head over our way and frantically yelled. “It’s not here!!! We’ve looked everywhere, I’m going to look elsewhere!! Come on you two!!”

“I’m going to stay here for a moment, to calm him down.”

Martha shrugs and leaves the room to carry on her search.

I turn back to John, as I looked in his confused brown eyes,  I’m sorry but this life you have here.. It’s not real! This isn’t you.. This is 1913!” 

He placed his hand on my forehead, “Is there an illness going about amongst the maids? The things you and Miss Jones are going out with! It’s madness!” I snatched his hand away, “No I’m perfectly well!” I freeze as I look out the window, “Remember that blue box you dreamt of?” He nodded, “How did you know about that?!”

“Martha may have mentioned it.. But look, it's out there, it’s real.”

John walked towards the window and saw the TARDIS outside, the Family of Blood surrounding it.

“It can’t be.” He uttered, his skin turned pale, he couldn’t bear to even look at the TARDIS, he turned away, “I have never seen it in my life!” I gripped his arm, “Please, Mr Smith. John. We need the Doctor or things are only going to get worse.” “So this Doctor.. He's an alien.” I nodded, he sighed, “And those people who have been killed.. They were killed by aliens as well?” I nodded, “They are looking for you.” “Oh.” He pulled out a watch from his pocket, “So this.. This will bring back the Doctor.. And I will cease to exist?” I noticed his eyes becoming watery, “So none of this was real, not even..” “Yes of course it was real!” “And does this Doctor have feelings for you, does he care for you like I do?”

My cheeks turned red, “I’m not sure..”

“What kind of man is he then?” He gripped my hand, "I could love you better than him, please.."

He clutched onto me, about to embrace me, I pushed him away .

"NO! Stop it! It doesn't matter!! We need the Doctor!!"

He looked sad, "You really do love him."

My heart throbbed, I hate to see him in so much pain. But I had to put those feelings aside.

Suddenly there's a crash through the window, a laser pings off the walls. 

"Come out Doctor!!" A voice bellowed below, it was one of the students, at least what it used to be.

I looked back to Mr Smith, "I will distract them, now go with Martha!! Please!" 

Martha stood in the doorway, Mr Smith turned back to me, “So this is it, then it’s decided? I have to be executed so this Doctor can replace me?” “I’m sorry.” I told him and kissed his lips quickly before running out, “Please open the watch."

Why did I kiss him on the lips, was it a spare in a moment, just in case it all went wrong and it could be my last chance to kiss the Doctor?  His lips felt lovely.. so soft. No that wasn't cool, I should have asked for his permission. I kissed the doctor without his consent, he probably wouldn't have minded. I didn't know for sure.

Anyway I was willing to put myself in danger, in hope John Smith may come to his senses and do the right thing. What if he ran off in fear and Martha didn't find him in time?

So many thoughts swirled round my head, but I didn't have time to be scared, I had to trust that the Doctor will show up in time. And if he didn't… well you can't say I didn't try.

Martha had a lot going on in her head too, as she tried to persuade Mr Smith to open the watch. She thought back to what the Doctor told her in his step guide video for being human, "And finally, 23.. Please look after Y/N, she won't find this easy and she means a lot to me. Of course you both mean a lot to me, but she.. well.."

Martha hadn't always paused it at that part, she knew what he wasn't going to say without hearing it. She never wanted to admit it, but the Doctor never looked at her the same way, it was painful. 

But these last few weeks, she accepted that her crush was nothing compared to the feelings the Doctor and myself had for each other.

"Where has Y/N gone?" Mr Smith asked Martha, as she waited outside his door.

"She has gone to the family of Blood." 

She looked down to Mr Smith pulling the watch out of the pocket, "If the aliens want this, they can have it!!"

"No!! They can't!!" Martha yelled back, as she tried to snatch the watch from him, Mr Smith fought back and accidentally opened the watch a little, "Martha! Why did you let her do that!?!" The Doctor's furious voice came out of Mr Smith.

He closed the watch again, Mr Smith looked spooked, "That was.. that was the Doctor wasn't it?"

She nodded, "Yes. Please, John. I know it is difficult to understand, but without the Doctor.. more people will die, including Y/N."

Mr Smith collapsed onto the floor, tears poured down his face, "So my life is for nothing, meaningless.. And that Doctor gets to have Y/N, not me."

Martha touched his shoulder and sat beside him, "I'm sorry."

He took a deep breath, "If it means.. Y/N is safe, then I guess I have no choice."

On a green glowing spaceship, I awoke to find myself sat on the floor, hands tied behind my back. There they were… the very people who the Doctor was hiding from, the Family of Blood.

“You have his scent on you, what are you hiding?” An old man asked.

My chest tightened, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Come on, maid! We know you travelled with the Doctor!” The dark haired one bellowed.

I shivered, a once normal student, now taken over by this alien form. That is why the Doctor was in hiding, so that same thing didn’t happen to him. 

“She talks about the Doctor to Martha. I’ve heard.” Jenny said, or at least what used to be Jenny. 

I whipped my head round to see John Smith standing there, “Oh gosh this is a real life spaceship!?” He stumbled a little causing himself to tumble and fall onto a row of buttons, pressing them all down. 

My heart sank, “John what are you doing here!?”

The Family of Blood’s all grin, the farmer beamed, “That means the watch hasn’t been opened!” 

“He’s still human though, we need a time lord!” The shell of Jenny said. 

The young boy was growing impatient and yelled “COME ON OUT DOCTORRR!” 

John Smith looked to the young lad with a glint of fear in his eyes. Frantically searching his pocket for that pocket watch. “Here!!! Take it! I don’t want it and I don’t want him!! You can have it!” 

John took the watch out and the family of blood all gathered quickly the young lad snatched the watch from John. I bolted up, unable to believe my eyes, “NO!!” “Shut it, girl!” The moustached leader shoved me down to the ground.

I glanced up at John, “How could you!? We need the Doctor, I need the Doctor! What have you done!?”

John remained quiet as he glanced over to me, there was a different more determined look in his eyes, one I hadn’t seen for a long time.

Whilst the family of blood all pondered at the pocket watch and made a fuss over it, the Doctor quickly rushed over to me untying the knots of rope binding me to the ship. 

I look into his eyes with confusion as he untied me, the Doctor gave me a wink with a slight smirk which made my heart flutter and skip a beat. He’s back, my Doctor is back! I thought to myself. 

The family all intake a quick breath. “The watch is empty!!” The little girl cried out, they all  looked toward me and the Doctor. The Doctor tried to keep up the act, and  looked confused, “W-What do you mean?” 

“You tell me!!” The young lad threw the watch over to what he thought was still John Smith.

The Doctor caught it with ease, “Oohhhh I think the explanation is you’ve just been fooled by a simple old factory misdirection, a little bit like ventriloquism of the nose, but it has got to be said I don’t like the look of your hydrocolometer.” 

The Doctor stood with usual confident style, he whipped his glasses on, “Oh yes not looking good at all… Also you really shouldn’t have let me hit all those buttons.”

A red light illuminated the ship, “I think you should really run!”

Next thing I knew the family were in a panic, the Doctor swiftly gripped my hand as we dashed out before the ship exploded into flames. The family of blood were knocked to the ground nearby us.

The Doctor held me in his arms as we fell due to the impact, my eyes met his, “You’re really back.”

He grinned, “Oh yes!”

As the Doctor sorted out the suitable punishments for the family of blood, I began to readjust to my life back in the TARDIS. It was surreal to be back, a part of me began to ponder, did the Doctor know about anything that John had said to me? We’re they the Doctor’s true feelings coming through or just solely Johns’? Was he really a separate person altogether from the Doctor? The answer of course was yes, in the sense of his personality… but in the end, John was brave, terrified but brave.

 I grew to like him very much. Then my eyes widened, the KISS would the Doctor even remember that? 

I was lost in thought that I hadn’t even heard the Doctor and Martha come into the TARDIS, as I sat at the end of my bed.

“You in here, Y/N?” The Doctor called.

I poked my head out of my room and walked towards the console room, Martha smiled, “See I told you she was here!”

The Doctor gave me a gentle smile, she looked at the both of us, “Right I am going to have my first hot shower in months!” 

Martha gave me a little wink, wait was she rooting for me? No she liked him too, why would she?

My brain had been a mess, I just needed normality and that involved not telling the Doctor I kissed him.. but then a part of me feels he didn’t consent to it, so I should tell him right? 

“Doctor I-“

The Doctor stared up from the console screen, “It’s okay, Martha filled me in… on what happened with John.”

I blushed, “She.. She did? W-What exactly did she say? I mean, well…” I scrambled to find the right words to say. The Doctor meanwhile had a completely blank expression on his face, which made me feel even more anxious at the thought of him being cross with me. 

“Well.. She told me that you and I.. technically John Smith that is, shared a kiss.” The Doctor answered robotically. 

My heart raced, “I’m so sorry! It just happened and I know you couldn’t have consented-”

The Doctor started to smirk which turned into a smile. “It’s okay, I mean…well..” A blush forms on his face, “I’m quite jealous actually.”

I raised my eyebrow unable to connect the dots, “Jealous.. Of John Smith?”

“Clearly you preferred him over me.”

My face brightened, what the hell had Martha said to him!? My palms grew sweaty, as I stepped back, “No NO! That’s not true at all! Whatever Martha said isn’t true and the kiss didn’t mean anything. I mean it did, but it was a spur in the moment because I was worried I was not going to survive or not.” “Y/N.” The Doctor interrupted, “I get it, it’s fine.” He looked at the console screen, a sad look in his eyes for a moment. Did I respond in the wrong way? What did he expect me to say? “It’s not that I don’t want to kiss you, it’s just I knew John liked me and-” “I’ve heard enough.” The Doctor snapped. I froze, wait did the Doctor believe I don’t want to kiss him and preferred John? I walked off back to my room in a huff.

Martha had her arms folded as she emerged back in the console room, she raised her eyebrow, “Realy? You’re jealous.. of yourself?!”

“Well technically it wasn’t-“

“Your body, your lips! The whole time I spent with Y/N she missed you, she wanted you to come back! She didn’t want John Smith, John Smith was like a loved up puppy for Y/N!”

He blushed, “No I’m not-“

He froze realising he slipped up on his words, Martha nudged him, “I said John Smith…”

“Now go kiss and make up! Literally or not, that came out wrong.”

The Doctor hugged Martha, “Thank you for keeping Y/N safe and looking out for me while I was gone.”

Martha shrugged and smiled sadly as the Doctor walked away to find me. “No problem..”  

The Doctor walked to my room and gave the door a gentle knock. Changing back into my own clothes, I was trying to process all what had happened and been said. “Just a minute” I said whilst putting on my socks. Opening  the door I look up to see the Doctor with a serious yet saddened look upon his face. 

“Y/N I’m sorry for how I may have reacted back there. May I come in?” He gestured to the little sofa I have in my room. (everything seems little in this Tardis!) 

I let out a subtle sigh “Okay, you can come in.” 

He stepped inside my room, the Doctor seemed timid, awkward. Well he isn’t really the best at social situations.

 “I really am sorry, I just thought that you liked the John Smith version of me, over the real me.” The Doctor looked to me for an answer. I slowly walked closer to him. 

“Why would I like him more?? He’s not you.. No offence to your chameleon machine thingy..” I pointed out my bedroom to the console room in the distance where the chameleon mechanism hung above. “But John Smith was a little boring, especially in comparison to you, Doctor.”

 A large grin slowly formed on his face. “Well…” He said as he ran his fingers through his lovely brown hair. Then came to a sudden stop when he paused to study my blushed expression. “But seriously Doctor.. Do you know how hard it was to see the man you love walk around acting like you don’t exist?” His eyes widened, realisation spread across my face. 

“I-I mean-“

The Doctor was now closer than ever, his brown eyes gazed into mine, “I missed you.”

His lips melted into mine, this is what I always wanted, no needed. Although they felt the same as John Smiths, my heart fluttered even more knowing this time, they truly belonged to the Doctor! It grew deeper and felt like time had frozen, the passion the Doctor held back for so long became unravelled before me. He wrapped his hands around my waist, nothing felt so right in my life.

Then a voice clearing brought us back to reality, it was Martha, how long had she been standing there?

“See you two have both… erm.. sorted things out.”

The Doctor cleared his throat, “Martha maybe knock next time.”

His cheeks were red and hair slightly ruffled, oops I must have done that.

Martha huffed, “Just drop me off home and I will give you both some alone time!”

Me and the Doctor locked eyes, then we bursted into laughter. 

He held my hand as we walked out into the console room together. It was good to have my Doctor back. 

Thank you for reading!!!!

[gomapda]

sidewalks we crossed [side B: him.] (pt. 2)

this is broken into parts because tumblr has a limit of 1000 blocks.

side A found here! | side B (part 1) found here!

author's note:

part two of side b!

the final installment.

it's been a long journey to get here, and any messages or words i read in the tags of the reblogs were a source of comfort for me during these times. i'm glad that my words resonated with even just one of you.

and of course, thank you for being here.

✧⋆°｡☾☼꙳ ੭ * ‧ ⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ‧ ⨯ ς(>‿<.). ⁺ ✦ * . ˚ ⨯ ੭ * ‧☼☽⋆｡°✧

pairing: lee jihoon/woozi (seventeen) x f!reader

genre: romance, fluff

summary: an accidental like, an off-chance comment, a purposeful message. you were in an unrequited love with your childhood best friend and decided to run away from him and your feelings and years later you find yourself in the same city with the same feelings when he stalks your instagram.

rating: 13+

length: 30k (bro WHAT LOL)

tags: idol!jihoon, childhood friend!reader, unrequited love (but not really), reconnection through instagram, this is just different scenes pieced together (including a ton of flashbacks), reader’s nicknames are all bug-themed, reader has depression and it manifests as suicidal ideation sometimes, this is basically real life (aka seventeen exists and debuted 150526), but the years are a little bit off for the trainee period, jihoon left busan later and trained for shorter for the sake of my story hehe, cursing, pining, mamamoo + ateez are the besties of reader, member x member pairings, jihoon and reader are both dumbasses, reader is extremely book smart but has one brain cell when it comes to romantic feelings, jihoon writes music like he’s been divorced 12x, word genius lee jihoon, idk how doctoral degrees work, i only got my masters and it was a non-thesis track lol, also idk how trainee auditions work either, miss communication is a lady we all know too well, super cute soft shit too tho tbh, no beta we die like men, i spent 5 hours trying to format this for tumblr and i’m still unsure

inspired by “drivers license” by olivia rodrigo and “what kind of future?” by woozi

inspo spotify playlist found here!

──────────────────

“Noona, I need help.”

Immediately, the older girl closed the book she was reading, a young adult romance novel and turned her attention to him. “You never ask for my help. What’s going on?”

“I… I like Y/N.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Yes.”

Jihoon balked. “What? Does everyone know this already?”

“Y/N doesn’t.”

He groaned loudly.

“Are you finally wanting to tell her?”

“I mean, yeah. I—I just don’t know what to do.”

“Well, I got just the thing for you, Jihoonie.”

Jihoon spent his time trying to come up with some elaborate and dramatic confession (per the advice of his noona). They sat in cafes, picking out different foods that the two of them knew you’d enjoy, scoping out different restaurants, going to the library and her handing him too many romance novels.

After a few weeks, “Noona, you sure this is going to work?”

“Nope.”

“What?! Then why am I doing this?”

“I was just curious to see how much you were willing to do for her. She deserves nothing less than the best, you know,” the girl grinned, now revealing her mischievous side, one that he has never seen before. “Jihoon, you really think that she’s going to want anything that’s a grand gesture?”

“Well. No, but I thought you would know her—”

“Jihoonie, there’s no one that knows her better than you, I think. You probably know her and see her for how she really is. More than she can see herself. All you have to do is just tell her the truth. That’s it.”

“…this was a waste of time.”

She hummed. “Hm, nothing came up for you?”

“What do you mean?”

He could see that she was fidgeting with her fingers. She let out a nervous laugh as she said, “I actually wanted to see whether you still liked me. Whether spending time with me was going to change your mind. Not that I wanted it to! But I didn’t want you to be wishy-washy. She needs stability. She’s already chaotic on her own.”

“You knew I liked you?”

“Just a tiny bit.”

He let out a dry laugh. “Would you have given me a chance?”

“Would you have tried?”

The two of them sat there for a moment, mulling over the weight of the words said between them. But they both knew that there was someone else in their lives who mattered more, who they truly yearned for. If Jihoon and his noona ever pursued something, it would’ve just been them trying to find comfort in each other because they couldn’t have who they wished for. They would’ve tried to shape each other to fit the missing puzzle piece, losing the essence of themselves.

Jihoon and his noona were only mere reflections of who they actually wanted, the illusion created because of how much time was spent together. And that image would’ve faded fast.

“No, I don’t think I would have.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Good luck with him.”

“Yeah… good luck with her. It’ll work out.”

──────────────────

Plenty of people could say that his noona was childish, that she should have picked another route to go down. That it all could’ve been left unsaid. But Jihoon was grateful for her choice to do what she did. Because you didn’t deserve that “what if?”. Neither did he. You both needed to be sure.

And he felt it, walking into the restaurant.

He immediately recognized you, even with your head down. He was so used to seeing you from afar that this was a sight that was unfortunately so familiar to him. He walked forward in hopes of closing the distance between the two of you.

“Jihoon! Hey!” Your cousin said, frantically.

Jihoon held back his laughter, the sight of his hyung flustered a rare occurrence. “Hey, hyung.”

“Oh my goodness, it’s our Jihoonie! Hi!”

He could see that her eyes were screaming: save us. Jihoon wondered if he’d be able to. “Hi, noona.”

Ah, there you went.

Your eyes finally met his.

God, so beautiful.

“Hey, firefly.”

“Holy fuck.”

Jihoon was startled. Since when did you curse? And the fuck word too? But it must be a new development considering the other two were making a huge commotion over it. But even in the midst of chastising, you didn’t break eye contact.

“It’s been a while.”

You blinked. “Um. Yes.”

He couldn’t help but smile. This was happening.

His brilliant and warm and fiery sun.

The reason behind why his own light exists.

His guide, his inspiration, his hope.

His firefly.

Close enough to reach out and catch.

But not quite yet.

“So, are you all done eating?”

“No, not even close! Only ordered one pajeon, but feel free to order anything that you want! Oppa will be covering,” his noona responded as she motioned for him to take the seat next to you. He did and immediately felt you tense up beside him. Jihoon mentally cursed at himself. He should’ve asked.

He decided to lean back in his chair to try to mimic the body language he hoped from you: relaxed. “Hyung’s the best.”

“One day, I’ll make you spend that idol money of yours.”

“Alright, it’s a deal.”

You must have recovered from your shock, since you piped up with a, “Wait. Shouldn’t you be careful about eating out? What if someone sees you here? Couldn’t something happen?”

Aw, you were worried for him. “This is a restaurant that’s frequented by SEVENTEEN. This specific table is so far removed in the corner that it’d be hard to get a good look at my face, especially since my back’s to them.”

You looked around and scanned the area, probably noticing the boisterous environment of hweshiks overpowering the casual dining you were partaking in. “Hm. Okay…”

“You worried about me?”

“No, I’m worried I’m going to end up in Dispatch with message requests from sasaeng fans.”

Jihoon felt the color drain from his face. “If you’re uncomfortable with me being here—”

You immediately shook your head. “That was a joke, I guess it was too serious of a reality for it to seem like one. Jihoon, thanks, really. But I’m scary good at ignoring people. Uh… I’m… I’m glad that you’re here. Seriously.” You paused for a moment, probably noticing the tension that he was too aware of. “Because we’re with two weakass eaters so it’s up to us to finish the job. Will you join me on our noble mission?”

He snorted out a ‘yes’ and the table laughed. Your cousin brought up a time where you were crying because you hated wasting food but the dish was too spicy but you were too stubborn to stop eating. You quickly reminded him that he was the one who tapped out first and left a 9-year-old to solve the issue (“Wouldn’t have been a problem for me if you didn’t create one, oppa!”). The four of you spent more time catching up than thinking about what to order until you were all brought back into the reality that you were at a restaurant and ordered nothing but a pajeon and drinks.

The older two let you and Jihoon decide, as you were both pickier eaters than they were. Once the food arrived, you fell into a rhythm of years’ practice. You pushed your portion of fish and beef onto his plate and he pushed his portion of bean sprouts and japchae onto yours. You both split the pork belly serving evenly between the two of you.

His arm would (accidentally) brush against yours but none of the tension remained from earlier. You didn’t retract, you didn’t run away. In fact, you poked his arm for his attention midway in the conversation and he never thought such a small thing could evoke such happiness.

──────────────────

Physical touch was never something that Jihoon craved. In fact, in most cases, he felt negatively towards it. So, the experience of being touch-starved was not something he knew anything about.

That is, until you were gone for two weeks at an academic competition.

Why the hell was an academic competition half a month? And during summer break? What did they expect middle schoolers to do? Solve world hunger with pi? (The number, not the food.)

You were spending your school vacation for the sake of more school.

What a stupid concept.

And you were on the same team as Baek Yunho, the star player of the baseball team and chemistry league. Jihoon saw the way that Yunho would try to come up to you after a game, but you only ever made a beeline towards Jihoon.

He didn’t realize just how much the two of you gravitated towards each other. Between class periods, he’d pinch your nose or flick your forehead or you would attempt to bring him to his knees by pushing your own into the back of his and fail miserably and he would roundhouse kick you in response. If the two of you had the time, you would go over to his house and dig your toes into his ribcage when he totally owned you during a game of Super Smash Bros. And during the summer, usually, you would be sprawled over him, back to back, as he would watch anime or play games on his phone and you would read your summer reading list.

But normal people wouldn’t consider that physical touch.

And yet here he was, genuinely touch-starved, because you were in Daegu with a whole seven days left.

He grumbled under his breath. Another day has gone by without seeing Baek Yunho during practice which meant another day that you were gone. Something that occupied his mind, as he opened the door to his bedroom, swinging his baseball bag onto his bed.

And he heard a loud, “ow!”

He saw you rubbing your knee on his bed, with a pout on your face. “What the hell are you doing here?”

That’s one way to say he missed you.

“I came back from my competition today to apparently get assaulted by my best friend.”

“I thought it was two weeks long.”

“The whole thing is, but I opted out of the award ceremony. Plus, I only competed in the writing and foreign language portion because that’s all they needed me for, which all happened in the first week.”

Jihoon’s mind didn’t catch up with his body as he reached for you. You yelped and threw a pillow at him, “Ew. No, you just got back from practice and you’re sweaty!”

“Firefly, you’re missing out on a rare opportunity.”

You paused for a moment, possibly recalling all the times he’s rejected a hug from you and realizing this indeed was very rare. “Can you at least wipe off your sweat?”

“Nope, not at all,” Jihoon snickered.

It was now a competition to see who would be the faster one, you rushing for the door or his arms. And of course, the athlete that he is, Jihoon won.

“You smell like the sun! Stop!”

He decidedly rubbed his neck into the shoulder of your shirt and you did your best to wiggle away, but failed. Your look of disdain was met with Jihoon’s satisfied one. “Lee Jihoon, you’re the worst.”

“I’m glad my punching bag is back.”

You pushed his hair back only to immediately retract. “Ugh! How does so much sweat just come out of you?”

“Does it matter when I have a towel right here?”

You pinched his ear as he pushed his sweaty forehead against the other shoulder of your shirt. You burst into a fit of giggles when he found your ticklish spot in the middle of your thigh, but soon enough, your ankle found purchase around his and pushed him onto the ground as you clambered away and into his closet, probably to find a shirt to change into.

He was left there on his bedroom floor, listening to your ramblings about his sweat, almost deliriously happy.

He was satisfied, no longer a starving man.

──────────────────

After the food was finished (thanks to the two of you), the four of you walked out of the restaurant, the couple saying they were so full they wanted to walk it off on the way to their hotel. They offered for the two of you to join them but you declined, saying the hotel was in the opposite direction of your home.

Your cousin felt uneasy leaving you to walk home on your own. But you pointed at Jihoon with your thumb and said, “Jihoonie can walk me home, if you’re so worried. But even if he can’t, I’ve lived here long enough. This isn’t anything new.”

As if your cousin completely ignored the latter half of what you said, he glanced at Jihoon who gave a quick nod. “I’ll walk her home. Don’t worry. Then I’ll take a taxi back myself.”

After much long-winded convincing, the two headed off to the hotel while you and him were left walking down the street, his own face masked up and covered with a baseball hat in case of anything.

“You know, you don’t have to walk me home.”

“I’d like to, if that’s alright with you.”

He noticed you adjusting the hem of your shirt. “Okay. It’s a little bit of a walk from here. Maybe 30 to 40 minutes or so.”

“That’s 30 to 40 minutes I’d like to spend with you.”

“…yeah. I’d like that too.”

This felt almost surreal. You by his side.

But also so natural, almost inevitable.

As if this was all just waiting to happen.

After a moment’s pause, you asked him what he was doing for the coming months, if there were any plans.

“There’s a concert that Bumzu’s holding in Busan, and he’s asking some SEVENTEEN members to perform, so I’ll be doing a solo piece for that one.”

“Oh, SIMPLE?”

You immediately made a face as if you got caught admitting something embarrassing and Jihoon grinned. “Ah, you know my solo song?”

“Hm. Maybe…” You trailed off, looking everywhere but at him.

Cute.

“It might’ve possibly made it as my top song of the year in 2016.”

Agh, even cuter. “I’ll tell Yoon Jeonghan that he’s not actually your bias and you’re actually a Woozidan.”

“You can call me a Woozidan, you’d just be exceedingly and astronomically incorrect, like always. Unlike me, who is right, quite literally 100% of the time.”

Jihoon laughed. “Hey, I’ll have you know I’m one of the brains in SEVENTEEN, alright?”

“That’s because you were forged in the fire that was your friendship with me. Of having to deal with my illogical thinking.”

“Ain’t that the damn truth.”

The mood between the two of you was solid and Jihoon felt his resolve flare up within him, gathering the courage to ask, “If I invited you to Bumzu’s concert, would you go?”

“Oh. The one in Busan?”

“Yes.”

“Uh. When is it? I’m supposed to start work in three weeks.”

He wondered how big of a Carat you were because he knew that most would jump at the opportunity, but he felt oddly reassured that you weren’t a fan who would shirk on your responsibilities. “It’s in two weeks. You can… uh, bring Hyejin?”

You blinked up at him. “You know her?”

“She, uh, is always on your Instagram.”

“That’s very sweet of you and she’s gonna freak out that you know her, but she’s actually going to be in Jeonju that entire week with Wheein-unnie because they’re visiting their family. And then none of my other friends know about me knowing you. But. You know what? What kind of Carat would I be if I turned down this offer?”

Great minds think alike. “So… I’ll see you there?”

“Yeah. Yeah, you will. I’ll sing the chorus of SIMPLE so loud I’ll overpower even your vocals.”

“You know, I never said I was singing SIMPLE.”

“Oh, what? What are you singing then?”

Jihoon grinned. “Guess you’ll have to come and find out.”

You let out a low whistle. “Wow, what an idol. Using your charm to convince me to use up my time and money.”

“You think I’m charming?”

“Enough that my wallet is in constant danger.”

“You know, I can always give you free things.”

“It’s okay. Buying your albums and merchandise and concert tickets have been the only way I can support you. And, well, I did promise I would be your number one fan.”

“‘S alright. That’s all in the past.”

Jihoon noticed you flinching at those words. Your voice was barely above a whisper, “…Is it really all in the past? It’s not that simple, is it, Jihoonie?”

He remained silent.

So did you.

You both walked, the evening stroll accompanied only by the artificial lights of the city, the sun having long since gone to rest and the light of the moon nowhere to be found.

You reached the doorstep of your apartment and you turned back to face him. “I think… We probably have a lot to talk about. But maybe the timing is off right now. I know I need to sort myself out, if that’s okay? I’m trying to do this thing where I think before I talk instead of just diving in and regretting something, you know?”

Jihoon nodded. He was all too familiar with that.

“But I just want to let you know that I still want to be a part of your life. And we can navigate how that will look like when we’re both not caught up in living our lives. Is… is that okay?”

He wanted to cry. “More than that.”

You smiled. “I’ll see you at the concert, Jihoonie.”

“I’ll see you, firefly.”

──────────────────

After that night, he was thrown back into his and SEVENTEEN’s work. Outside of Bumzu’s concert, they were working on their next album, aiming to release it in just two months, the theme centered around a youthful infatuation blossoming into a mature love.

He wondered what you would think of it.

One night, he was in his studio with Soonyoung again who looked over Jihoon’s latest solo for Bumzu’s concert.

“Jihoon, this is the saddest shit I’ve ever read.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Are you sure that this is what you’re wanting to perform? That this is what you want her to hear? In front of hundreds of people?”

“It’s… the most honest I can be. Yeah, it could scare her off. But I don’t think we can keep moving forward without addressing what happened between us. But I didn’t make this song to make her feel bad. I made it so I could let go of the pain I associate with the old her to be able to make space for the new her, you know what I mean?”

Soonyoung spared no expression. “Whatever you think is best, Hoon.”

“I’m just going to take a leap of faith,” Jihoon sighed. There really was no predicting exactly how things would turn out. You were different, he was different. There were too many unknown variables with the situation. “Hopefully she’ll be there to catch me.”

“Mm.”

“What’s up?”

“I’m thinking about how you’re going to be singing a ballad, pouring your true and genuine feelings, and I’ll be performing Hurricane in a tiger print shirt.”

Jihoon paused for a moment. “Duality of SEVENTEEN.”

──────────────────

You must have also been busy, as the only notification he got from you was on the day of the concert. It was a selfie of you at a gas station in the wee hours of the morning, no doubt filling your tank before your 4 and a half hour car ride, with a message saying, “i’m on my way to you! fueled by overpriced gas and cheap snacks!”

You were on your way. To him.

There was an electricity that was coursing through him that went beyond just nerves before a show. No, there was so much more riding on this, and as much as he wants to believe and trust that everything would work out in some way or another, there is the deep part of him that yearns for it to work out for the best. The most ideal cut.

He pressed his hands against his chest, as he tried to mimic compression.

But there was just too much bursting out of him to truly contain.

“Jihoon-ah, you alright?”

He must have looked like a crazed man to Jeonghan because the latter had an incredulous look on his face as soon as they made eye contact. “Do I not seem alright?”

“No.”

“Hyung.”

Jeonghan let out a low chuckle and moved behind him to squeeze the shoulders of the stressed man. “It’s okay to hope, you know.”

“It feels like hope is the reason I can’t breathe right now. If it weren’t for hope, I wouldn’t care this much. If it weren’t for hope, I wouldn’t be in this position.”

“You’re right. You wouldn’t be. Without hope, you wouldn’t be in SEVENTEEN. You wouldn't have become an idol, be our unit’s leader, become a producer, written songs, or even had the chance to reconcile with her. All of what you are would’ve been impossible without hope”

Jihoon bit his lip. “I feel like I’m going crazy, hyung. I keep going back and forth between whether it’s worth it. I haven’t felt anxiety like this in years. I know that lo–love–” Jihoon realized he never said that word so directly about her. He always found more poetic ways to dance around the word. “–can be a lot of work. But this? It makes me think that it’s not meant to be. When I see her and when I’m with her, it feels so right. But when she’s not in front of me, I feel like the best thing to do is to just run away.”

“Yeah, but you ran away last time, right?”

“And I wouldn’t be in SEVENTEEN if I hadn’t.”

“But you’ve still pined after her for all these years.”

“Maybe that’s just me being stubborn.”

“Yeah, and? What about it?”

“What happens if I’m pining after her because I regret hurting someone I cared about, my best friend. What if I don’t actually love her–”

Jihoon’s voice caught in his throat.

Jeonghan answered in a low whisper, and Jihoon is sure that if he turned around, he would see pity in his older member’s eyes. “Jihoon–”

“No, I know,” he quickly cut him off, sighing. “Ridiculous notion. Hyung, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I don’t understand myself at all. Just yesterday, I was talking a big game about how I needed to trust her and take a leap of faith and now it feels like I’m going back on it.”

“So, you don’t trust her?”

“That’s… not it.”

“Then what is it, Jihoon?”

“I… I can’t…”

“It’s just you and me here.”

Lee Jihoon and Yoon Jeonghan.

The very two people who were in that room together when that fateful encounter on social media occurred.

Yoon Jeonghan, the island of SEVENTEEN.

“What if she doesn’t love me back?”

Jeonghan felt Jihoon’s shoulders tremble underneath his grip. The older began to rub gentle circles and stood there in silence as the younger buried his face in his hands. “...She could.”

“What if she doesn’t?”

“What if she does?”

“That’s not–”

“–How it works? Why are your worries more likely than your hope? Are they more logical? More based in reality? Listen, they’re all just thoughts driven by feelings. They both have an equal chance of happening, and yet you are convinced your worries are true. And maybe that’s your fault. Your fault because you keep suppressing your hope in fear of pain and rejection. So that later down the line, you can tell yourself that you knew it anyway. But guess what? This isn’t a game where you’re trying to come out of this as the least hurt.”

Jihoon felt lucky that Jeonghan couldn’t see his face.

“Just think of it as finally being able to let out the entire truth that you’ve been hiding for years, the truth that has been found in your lyrics, but is now finally going to reach the person you’ve hoped for so long that it would. She’ll be right there, listening to you. You’ve wanted it for so long. Don’t try to convince yourself all of a sudden that it’s not.”

“...Yeah.”

“Plus, they already have the line-up and backing vocals set up, so. It’s not like you can change it now. Go put your in-ear in. We’ll be in the audience. All of us.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

“...I’m not sure if it means anything, but you’re a good man, Lee Jihoon. I’m proud of you.”

Jeonghan patted the younger’s shoulder before exiting the small space, leaving Jihoon to his own thoughts. Ones that no longer swirled over the possibility of pain or even the potential of reciprocation. Instead, he thought about his members. The ones he’s told he’s loved, both in teasing ways and genuine utterances.

And then he thought of you.

He’d like you to hear the same from him.

At least once.

(And hopefully more.)

──────────────────

Busan’s driving laws were nothing like the rest of Korea. 

Luckily growing up in Busan, you were aware of the way that the drivers swerved in and out of lanes, making illegal (?) turns any chance they got. The flow of traffic in Busan is so aggressively different from Seoul, that it felt as though you had to flip a switch to reorient yourself into the version of you that learned how to first drive in Busan.

Not long after the person you were driving to see had stormed out of your home.

You sighed.

You weren’t sure what to expect at the concert.

It felt almost embarrassing how much you daydreamed over him potentially singing a song to you. The reality is dangerously close to overlapping with the delusion that you found yourself trying to literally shake away the thoughts.

But how could you not be a little hopeful?

The love of your life invited you to a concert, with him singing a solo song.

Maybe he’d confess–

The honk of the car behind you pulled you out of your thoughts. You groaned loudly, slapping your forehead. “Get it together, Y/N!”

Jihoon had told you to enter the concert hall through a certain entrance, and that you wouldn’t need to wait amongst the lines. He recommended waiting until everyone else was seated, so you would still have 20 minutes to kill before entering the venue.

You drove, mentally fighting yourself every kilometer of the way, until you finally reached the venue. You showed the badge that Jihoon had given you and was directed towards the back lot where staff parked. You cut the engine and sat there, attempting to calm yourself down.

You immediately get a request for FaceTime on your phone.

You answer it.

“Bumblebee!”

“Unnie, I can feel myself eroding away.”

Hyejin rolled her eyes. “You’ll be fine.”

You heard Wheein’s voice in the background. “Is that Y/N?”

Hyejin answered, “Yeah. Wanna say something?”

Wheein popped into frame. You gave a weak wave. “Are you gonna confess today?”

“What? No. That wasn’t in the plan.”

“Okay? Then change the plan,” Wheein said, as though it was the most obvious thing.

“I just want to be friends.”

“Forever?” Wheein asked.

“For now,” Hyejin supplied.

You rolled your eyes. “Listen. All I know is that I want to be in his life, and whatever that looks like is still to be determined, alright?”

“But what do you want in the long run?”

“You know I can’t plan for the long-term. Let’s just take things day by day, alright?”

“Okay, but what if he confesses today?” Wheein asked.

“He won’t.”

“What if he does?”

“I–”

Hyejin tapped Wheein’s thigh off-camera. “She’ll handle it if it comes up. No matter what happens, we’ll be here to pick up your call, okay? Whether it be to sort out your feelings or to just fangirl about the concert. We’ll be here to listen to whatever you’re willing to share. There’s not much to do here in Jeonju anyway, so. Just hit us up.”

“Go eat Jeonju bibimbap.”

“We did,” they answered in unison.

You let out a short laugh. “Alright. Well. Regardless of everything, time will continue to pass. I’m going to just bask in the fact that I was invited by a member of my favorite idol group to watch his performance.”

“And that’s already cool as hell,” Wheein nodded.

The three of you chatted about their plans for the week while you did your best to focus on the conversation while still paying attention to the time left until the concert. Not long after, you bid them farewell to once again sit in silence in your car, pressing your hands against your chest.

It was time.

──────────────────

Bumzu’s concert started off as nothing less than spectacular.

You always admired his musical prowess, knowing that he was the one who helped Jihoon form his own identity as a producer and songwriter. Bumzu was a titan in his own right, his lyricism and musicality rivaling plenty of others in the field.

Although his talent is impeccable, the venue itself was small. His transition from performing towards writing and producing had a hand in influencing the number of tickets sold. You also realized belatedly that the concert wasn’t advertised to include the SEVENTEEN members that you were promised.

Regardless, it felt like such an intimate space, you were thankful for it.

You were in the upper gallery, away from the rest of the concert attendees. There wasn’t anyone else nearby you, and you assumed that would stay the case.

That is, until you heard someone sit right next to you.

You glanced over, not wanting to be overt in noticing them (although, Korean culture lends itself to staring at others outside of Seoul and Busan), and you felt your breath hitch.

“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”

“I–yeah.”

“I recorded a video for you for your graduation,” the most beautifully ethereal man on this side of existence said. “Do you remember?”

“I–yeah.”

He flashed a brilliant grin. “Yoon Jeonghan.”

“I–yeah.”

“Congratulations on graduating.”

“I–” This time, his voice overlapped yours. “Yeah.”

You flushed. “Sorry. I’m just– I’m kind of taken aback.”

“I heard I was your favorite member, your bias.”

“Mm. That’s true.”

“Why is that the case?”

You paused for a moment, the vocals of Bumzu drowning out the sounds of your conversation. “They say that your bias is the one who’s most similar to you. And your bias wrecker is the one that you’d most likely want to date or be romantically involved with.”

“Oh, so, we’re similar?”

“In the way that we love others, I think? From what other members have said about you, the way that you love is both wide and deep. You love others in a way where you can be a home for them during times of hardship,” you said, sheepishly. It felt almost strange to claim you were as loving as you were, but. You knew yourself. You knew your heart. Even the bad parts. “Also, we both would cheat at games.”

“It’s the only way to play.”

“Winning is too easy otherwise,” you added.

“Exactly,” he chuckled. “Well. That makes me feel better.”

“That I cheat at games?”

“No. That you love in the same way that I do. Because if you love Jihoonie as much as I love him, I think I have absolutely nothing to worry about.”

“I do.”

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow at you. “I’m sorry?”

“I do love him,” you said, unhesitantly. Perhaps it wasn’t the wisest decision to tell one of Jihoon’s closest confidants this information. But, it wasn’t a secret. It wasn’t ever meant to be a secret. It was simply a fact. “There’s no way that I wouldn’t.”

“You… You haven’t doubted your feelings?”

This time you raised an eyebrow at him. “Why would I? He’s easy to love.”

Jeonghan laughed. “You’re so right, Y/N. So. Is he your bias wrecker?”

“You mean the one that I want to date?”

“The very same.”

You saw the mischief in his eyes, and you felt yours bubble up inside. “I wonder.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m surprised you cheat at games, you don’t seem like a great liar.”

“Who said I was trying to?” You flashed him a toothy grin.

“It’s rather strange to see just how different the two of you are. And also, how human you seem. The way that he talks about you, you’d think otherwise.”

“Unfortunately, being human is all I know,” you said, trying to shove down the feeling of butterflies in your stomach at the mention of Jihoon speaking of you to his precious brothers.

Bumzu was now giving a ment, but you were still so focused on the man next to you.

He crossed his legs and looked out at the stage. He pursed his lips. “Y/N. He’s a bit of a handful sometimes, you know.”

“I’ve got two hands.”

He smirked at that. “Right. That you do. And if you and I really are similar, then. Well. I hope you really listen to what he has to say to you, even if it can be hard to hear. I hope you try to understand him even when he doesn’t make sense. And, of course, I hope you enjoy the rest of your life loving him.”

You felt some tears well up in your eyes. “I’ll try my best.”

Jeonghan looked at you softly and patted your knee. “That’s all I ask.”

He stood up and you gave a slight bow. He smiled and said, “Enjoy the show.”

Bumzu’s voice rang out: “And now, a special guest: WOOZI from SEVENTEEN.”

Your eyes snapped back towards the stage, barely noticing the figure of your bias move back out into the shadows of the concert hall. You were transfixed by the man walking out on stage, his pale skin glowing underneath the stage lights, his black collared shirt hanging loosely on his frame. The cheers could not distract you from the way he gripped and ungripped the microphone in his hand as he sat down on the stool.

He lifted the microphone to his lips and began speaking.

“Hello, everyone. I am SEVENTEEN’s WOOZI.”

His eyes were darting around, but only looking downwards, barely looking at the crowd. “Today, I’m going to sing a song that I’ve only ever sang once. Um. And that was by myself, in my studio. Not even the other members have heard it.”

The crowd were wowed at the prospect of hearing an entirely new song from a genius producer. Seeing the spotlight shine on him, you realize how bare he looked without his other members surrounding him. His vulnerability was amplified by the closer proximity of the space.

You knew he was the kind of person that would lessen the amount of lines he had solely to allow others to shine more. He wasn’t like the sun, the blazing fire that consumed the day. No, he was so much more like the moon, the one that would reflect others’ light, but in such a way that was never accosting.

Even on the stage in front of you, he glowed so ethereally, you wondered if he was always the fae that you believed lived near the winding tree at Old Man Park’s home. He was the guiding light in the midst of night, always present, but in a less overt way than its celestial partner.

The sun was stunning in its own right, life-giving, even, but the moon provided comfort to those who tread in the darkness.

And you’ve seen the way he has done just that.

Not just for you, but for millions around the world.

“This is, uh. A very personal song,” you couldn’t help but notice the way that his grip around his microphone tightened. “I’m not sure if many of you out there have been unsure about what the future holds. But, this song… captures that, I think. This is ‘What Kind of Future’.”

Your reaction to grab your phone to record was immediately cut off by the piano playing.

This… melody?

Your throat tightened. It sounded so similar to the lullaby he would sing–

As if nothing happened I told myself that it was all a dream. When I closed my eyes and opened them again, I wanted to wake up with a relief.

The melody was so familiar, but because of that, you could focus solely on the lyrics he sang. 

Was this song… about you?

No, your mind supplied. Don’t be delusional.

But what if it was?

Your heart began to pound loudly in your ears, and you had to take deep breaths so as to not miss anything that he had to say.

Our past that didn't line up If I could go back in time Rather than roughly, but warmly Would I be able to let you go?

Your eyes widened.

You thought back to that moment in your house.

Could it be–?

When we weren't over As I held onto whatever was left You let go of me as I refused Although I don't wanna see you, I miss you Although I hate you, I miss you I don't understand myself so well

You immediately recall the desperation on his face and the hurt in his voice that you couldn’t see until it was too late. It was shrouded by his anger and your desire to look away. To run away. Because, to a teen on the cusp of adulthood, that was easier than being honest.

This waiting It's not easy to endure If I forget that someday As if nothing is wrong Our future will be empty and It's not that I want to forget you

You never wanted to forget him. 

You couldn’t.

He surrounded you at every turn.

The best parts of you were things that you learned from him.

He softened your rough edges, quieted the inner criticisms, pacified the burning flames.

The idea of him never being a part of your life again was one that you could not fathom, even with all of your imagination. Because there was no way for the current you to exist without him. Not in a way that deemed him necessary, but in a way that his friendship, his love, for you shaped you into becoming someone you, yourself, learned to love as well.

Your future might have been filled with joy and happiness.

His, just as likely to.

But yours and his, as he said, our future, would be empty.

We were happy about us You, who isn't me anymore Although I don't wanna see you, I miss you Although I hate you, I miss you I don't understand myself so well

You tried to quell your tears as much as you could, in fear of missing even another moment with him. Because you realize now that the feelings you had were not one-sided. Of course, they couldn’t have been. The way that the two of you stuck by each other through thick and thin.

Why were you so adamant that it couldn’t be true?

What kind of future is coming before us? Even if the Heavens don't give us an answer I'm too stupid until the end So I don't know the answer

The love you had for each other was so simple.

It was so direct, so straight-forward.

But the two of you made it complicated.

Why?

You also didn’t have an answer.

The both of you, burdened by the decisions of the past, anxious about the potential of the future.

As his vocals rang out, as he cried out, the tears finally streamed down your warm cheeks. You buried your face into your hands, listening to his voice, but unable to withstand the sight of him holding his microphone with such gentle, yet firm, hands. The same ones that trembled at his side that fateful day. Your breath staggered as you wept for the past versions of you.

The ones who struggled and constantly questioned whether you were loved by the person you longed for. The ones who somehow convinced themselves that you weren’t, rather than trusting in the obvious truth that you always had been.

And still are.

As the song concluded with his smooth vocals, the crowd erupted into cheers. You raised your head and found him looking longingly up in your direction, and if you weren’t mistaken, at you. 

But how could he? 

The stage lights were so bright, you were sure it was impossible to see beyond the stage.

But with the way his gaze softened as your bottom lip trembled.

Maybe, just maybe.

As soon as the crowd settled down to a reasonable level, he began speaking again. “Thank you all for attending tonight. Bumzu-hyung is an artist that I admire a lot, so I feel really honored that I was able to share my music here. This song is… both personal and special. And I hope that, maybe, someone out there can understand what I was trying to convey.

“Carats, thank you always for your support. Remember to stay healthy; I’m always wishing for your happiness. We hope that you continue to love and support SEVENTEEN. I’m always humbled by Carat’s love for us, and I really wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.”

He began to fiddle with the microphone in his hands. 

“Did you know that…” He trailed off for a moment before he glanced up in your direction. Your breath hitched. “...If you dream of fireflies, they’re supposed to represent guidance and inspiration? Because they’re kind of like a beacon of light in the dark. And according to some, they’re also meant to represent taking a chance at an opportunity that’s right in front of you. And I, uh. I’ve been dreaming of fireflies for a long time. So, I think… that means that it’s time to try and take that chance. I’m not sure what it’ll look like, but…”

He shut his eyes for a moment, tilting his head backwards, looking as though he was allowing the weight of his words to really sink into him. He brought the microphone back up to his lips.

“Thank you again. I hope our future together is one of happiness.”

He gave a slight bow to the audience who cheered loudly for him. He, once again, looked up in your direction. You weren’t sure whether he could see your expression, so instead you lifted your phone screen at its highest brightness, open to the phone dial screen.

If he gave any semblance of acknowledgement, it was imperceptible.

Bumzu was welcomed back to the stage and squeezed Jihoon’s shoulder before the latter excused himself off of the stage.

Almost possessed, you followed suit, leaving the upper gallery to rush towards the restroom, out of earshot and view of anyone else.

Not even a minute later, your phone starts vibrating.

You answer immediately. “That was fast.”

“We’ve wasted enough time, don’t you think?”

“Are you… running? You sound like you’re out of breath.”

“Meet me outside. Staff parking lot.”

“I–”

“Security cleared it out.”

“Jihoon, I’m not fit like you! I’m not a runner.”

“I’m not asking you to be. I’ll wait for you as long as you need.”

Your heart swelled. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“I’ll see you soon, firefly.”

The sound of his smile filled your senses as the call ended.

Despite your complaints earlier, your feet were carrying you at a pace you haven’t attempted since your required physical education class. Your eyes were darting around, searching, searching, searching. The adrenaline rushing through your body was enough to keep up your strides. You were rushing forward, and then–

You saw him.

He pushed his hair back, his chest rising up and down, attempting to catch his breath. He was definitely winded from the running. But there was no rest for the weary as your eyes locked. You found yourself barreling forward, not even really thinking of anything other than: him.

And his arms caught you with ease as you slammed yourself into his chest. He spun you around to lessen the impact, but tightened his grip on you. “Firefly–”

“Jihoonie.”

You held each other for a while.

Long enough for both of your breathing to even, for your heart rates to synchronize.

As though making up for lost time.

He adjusted his face just slightly away from the crook of your neck to speak. “Let’s go.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere you want.”

“Yeah, well. I’m the driver, so no shit.”

Jihoon laughed and squeezed you closer to him. You let out a grunt. “You call the shots, firefly.”

You disentangled yourself from him and pulled out your car keys from your person. “Alright, get in, my passenger prince. Let’s take a trip down memory lane, hm?”

──────────────────

“Hi! My name is Y/N. Here’s a seashell!”

The young boy’s expression contorted into one of confusion. You were completely unaffected. He looked around at the empty playground, save for a few pigeons here and there, before pointing to himself. “Are you talking to me?”

You knew for a fact that he was someone that the CU convenience store auntie would call a ‘cutie’. You’d agree! “I’d like to!”

“I’m… I’m Lee Jihoon.”

“Okay, Jihoon! Can we be friends?”

“S-Sure.”

“Awesome!” You clapped your hands together. “I don’t really know what friends do together, but let’s go on the swings! You can sit first and I’ll push you. I’m very strong.”

“No, it’s okay! I can push you—”

“You don’t think I’m strong enough?”

“No, no. That’s not what I said—”

“Get on the swing, Lee Jihoon!”

“O-Okay.”

──────────────────

“Do you remember when I pushed you on the swing so hard that you lurched forward and got a nosebleed from falling onto your face?”

“That was the first day we met, firefly.”

“Well, I wanted to know if you remembered.”

“To the point that it haunts me.”

“You were so small and cute back then. So shy.”

You half expected that the two of you were going to drive in silence, just basking in each other’s presence. But, remaining true to the dynamic you two always had, there was still so much to talk about. You told him about the drive down from Seoul and how Busan really needed to up its driving laws to match the rest of the country. He told you about how Soonyoung just finished performing “Hurricane” on stage and Jeonghan sent him the video.

You told him about how Jeonghan actually approached you.

“Aha.”

You couldn’t turn to see his expression, so you asked, “Why? Is that a bad thing?”

“He, uh. Might’ve witnessed me have a bit of a mental breakdown backstage, so.”

You took his nervous laughter as a sign to not push further. “Honestly, me on any given Tuesday.”

“What, your grad program?”

“Oh, man, I gotta tell you.”

And so the two of you exchanged both stories and banter until you finally saw the shoreline coming into view. Just a couple of moments later, you parked your car along the sidewalk at the edge of the beach. This was a more local area, far away from tourist spots.

“Ah, this place.”

“Lotta memories here,” you said. You shot him a big smile as you turned off the engine. “Let’s go make a new one.”

The two of you exited your car and threw your socks and shoes into the trunk of your car, just like you did with his parents’ car, when you were children.

As you both walked towards the edge of the water, you were very aware of the silence that had fallen onto the two of you.

There was an instinct in you that told you to remain quiet.

“You know,” Jihoon broke the silence. You smiled to yourself. “I’ve always admired how you were able to be so honest about your feelings, without worrying about what other people think.”

“That’s the nice way of saying that I don’t think before I speak.”

He laughed and you relished in it. “Maybe.”

You skipped forward a bit more, letting your toes dig into the now cooled sand, the sun long set. You had your back turned to him as you waited for him to continue speaking.

“I was always someone who kept to himself. Who never really shared my heart with anyone.”

You hummed as you turned to face him directly. “You did in your own way, I think. You just needed people who knew how to read between the lines.”

“I was never honest about the hard stuff though.”

“What do you mean?”

“I constantly asked myself if I was worthy enough to love you.”

You opened your mouth to retort, but he continued.

“You loved me in such loud ways. You honestly left no room for doubt, and yet my brain managed to squeeze in some anyway. But… you know what I eventually realized?”

“What?”

“I realized that if I were to give myself to anyone, to be safe with anyone in the world, it would be okay if it was you. You’ve always been honest. Your sadness. Your joy. I know I can trust it. Maybe that’s naive considering how long we’ve spent apart. But you’ve never been anything but honest. So this is me trying to do the same. Y/N, my light, my firefly, I love you.”

In his eyes you saw him searching for something, anything. He might’ve not been able to interpret the expression on your face, but there was no need to. You pulled the collar of your shirt down to reveal the ink forever etched into your skin, placed over your heart.

Art that was drawn on a paper towel a decade ago.

You knew even in the dim light of the street lamps high above you, he could see it.

His jaw dropped. “Wait. That’s—”

“I broke one promise in my life. Just one. And I told myself I would never do it again. No matter how stupid the promises were, no matter how mundane, no matter how old they were. I would never break another promise. Because breaking that one promise ended up breaking me. The promise that I’d always be by your side.”

“What are you—?”

“Because it’s you, it’s always been you. Ever since I gave you that stupid seashell from this very beach,” you gestured at your surroundings. “And it was stupid because you could easily get your own, but you kept it. Like it was a precious treasure.”

The rampant beating in your chest matched the rhythm of your words.

“I don’t know what the future holds, Jihoon. I have no idea and I’m terrified. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know anything. Years at Yale, years at Seoul National, years spent in higher academia only taught me that I know so little. But you, oh, you were the worst reminder. I don’t get how you can make me feel so empty and filled at the same time. I don’t understand how you can make me feel at home with just a smile. I don’t know how you have such a hold on me. You’re just this strange enigma that I can’t seem to place, a riddle with no way to solve. But God, I so badly want to try. You’re a question I want to spend the rest of my life trying to answer. Because it’s you.”

He bit his lip and you wondered if you overwhelmed him.

“I’ve spent years, you know,” his voice barely above a whisper.

“Doing what?”

“Hoping that you would hear me. That my words would reach you,” he breathed out. His eyes softened as he recalled, “‘If a second life that’s different from now is to come to me, will I be by your side? Will you be by my side? I imagine things like this. Even if they’re words I mentioned as a joke. Will you believe me? Even if it’s a funny imagination. On a sudden day when I’m left alone, I’ll take my steps towards you again.’”

He stepped forward, hands reaching for yours, and you immediately took them, as soon as he was an arm’s length away. Physically, this wasn’t the closest he’s ever been, but it was the closest you’ve ever felt.

“‘You did this once before. Only by looking in your eyes I can tell. Whatever may happen, I want to know this emotion. When walking by my side, I don’t even want to let go of your hands. That flattering feeling is because of you, everything is so good.’”

He took another step forward, his voice dropped to barely above a whisper, hoping you could hear his words above his heart hammering in his chest.

“‘What can I do? Without you, my heart stops and it’s always cold. What can we do? Without me, you’ll struggle just as much, so what can we do?’” He paused, before recalling later lyrics. “‘I don’t wanna let you go like this. I don’t want to be scared with a broken heart. I’m the place you can come to. You’re the place I can go to.”

Tears formed in your eyes, but he brushed them away easily, now cupping your face within his hands, the tips of your noses brushing against each other, and you could have sworn he felt the fluttering of your eyelashes against him, dampened slightly by your watery eyes.

“‘I couldn’t express my feelings because I was too young. I wanted to be your tomorrow, so I lived today. Ever since the first day I saw you. In my heart, it’s always been you. These typical words, I’m only saying them now, but I hope these typical words will reach you.’”

You looked at him, your entire being filled and your senses flooded.

With him.

It was only him, him, him.

How could you not have realized?

His words, his feelings were so clear.

He had the kind of love for you that brings forth a melody.

His gentle voice drew you away from your own thoughts, “Thank you, firefly. For choosing me.”

“Always, Jihoonie. Always.”

He leaned in to close the distance.

You met him halfway.

──────────────────

Your hands were intertwined with his as you swung them lightly, back and forth, ebbing and flowing, like the waves almost reaching your feet on the coastline of the local beach where you would laze away during your adolescence and find adventure during your childhood.

The two of you fell into a comfortable rhythm, the sounds of the ocean and lull of the town around you, just basking in what felt like the stars finally aligning.

Jihoon squeezed your hand for a moment. “You know, I thought you left because you realized that I had feelings for you and didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“I’m sorry, what?” You stopped in your tracks and turned to face him, still not letting go of his hand, the sea breeze weaving itself between his and your hair.

He raised an eyebrow. “I thought I was pretty obvious. Hyung and noona thought the same. They figured it out pretty early on.”

“Um.”

He blinked. “You had no idea?”

“I—I thought you were in love with noona—”

“Hey, I might’ve thought she was pretty, but you were the one that turned that into something it wasn’t.”

“What! What about the times we went to try and find out whether the mini golf place was fun enough for a date idea? Or whether the food stand near the beach was romantic enough?”

“Please tell me you’re hearing yourself.”

“I’m—”

“Jesus, firefly. Are you serious? Did I end up ever taking her there? Did I even try? All of those places, all of those times, those were meant for you. You were the one who kept bringing up noona and what she would like while I was trying to figure out whether it would’ve been weird to reach out and hold your hand.” His grip tightened on yours.

You flushed at that. “Okay, but like—you spent so much time with noona before I left.”

“Because she was trying to help me plan something to get it through your thick skull just how in love I was because obviously none of the other things I did was enough.”

“I—you—she’s better than me.”

“I just confessed that I was in love with you, and you’re focusing on her right now?”

You blabbered out incoherent sounds and he merely laughed in your face at your reaction.

(Or maybe at himself.)

“Dozens of songs of writing my feelings for you into the lyrics, and you still didn’t get it. So. I’ll try and say it as clearly as possible. I love you, Y/N. What can I do to get you to notice me? Because I’ll do it, firefly. I swear I will.”

You bit your lip.

“I got my driver’s license.”

He wasn’t expecting that. “Uh… recently?”

“No. A month after you left, a month before I did. I got my driver’s license and I so badly wanted to call you to tell you. Because we talked about late night diner specials and how uncrowded the park was at six in the morning and you said I’d be your chauffeur forever.”

“Yeah, why should I have to learn?”

“Jihoon.”

“I’m doing alright without one, thanks.”

You rolled your eyes, but continued, “I drove around the neighborhood several times, passing by the mailboxes we used to Sharpie, the stop signs we tried to run up and slap, the sidewalks we crossed after hagwon, the sewer where we were convinced a clown lived.”

“That was a you thing, don’t drag me into it.”

“And I realized that none of it mattered if you weren’t in the passenger seat.”

“So, what are you saying? That I’m just good company?”

You eyed him and knew he was teasing, but there was a hint of insecurity underneath it. Because he said those words you had yet to acknowledge, let alone, respond to. The corner of your lips upturned. “Yeah, that’s it. And if it’s alright with you, I’d like to be in said company for at least one lifetime. I love you, Lee Jihoon.”

“You’re missing the ‘too,’ since I said it first.”

“You’re annoying.”

“It’s been one of the only ways to get you to look at me, firefly.”

“Mm. I’m always looking.”

“Respectfully?”

“Most times. Have you seen the ‘Good to Me’ choreo?”

He bumped your shoulder as you burst into a fit of giggles, choosing to let go of his hand to wrap your arms around his waist as he pretended to stomp off. He stuck his tongue out at you, calling you a pervert, and you said, “Hey, you’re the one that’s in love with me, alright?”

He swept you up into his arms and rather than carrying you princess-style or even in a piggy-back ride, he threw you over his shoulder and you yelped loudly. 

“Jihoon!”

“Y/N!”

“Let me go!”

“Nope. Never again.”

You made a gagging noise. Who is this shameless kid?

“I’ll put you down though, my shoulder hurts.”

You smacked it once you were on your own two feet and ran as much as you could with the weight of your feet sinking into the wet sand with each step. He quickly closed the distance between the two of you and tackled you to the ground. You fell back, with his hand behind your head, ensuring no damage to your person. You giggled up at him.

The edge of the waves were mere centimeters from you, but seeing him against the endless night sky, with glittering stars, him, your moon, you could not bring yourself to care.

You had so many questions you wanted to ask him, about his life as an idol, about his pursuits and his struggles and his hopes and his dreams. You were so excited to fall in love with him again. You hoped that he would be just as excited to love the person that you’ve become, the one that is so wholly you, but has been transformed by him.

Leaving things left unsaid was a burden the two of you beared for far too many years, believing that you deserved the painful yearning of each other, to make up for the choices made as teenagers.

You breathed in the salt of the sea, as you thought about how, years ago, you were in the same city, letting this very person walk away from you. Shame washed over you, as it has for years, like the waves that were ebbing and flowing right beside you, and tears began to form in your eyes. It was almost embarrassing, how easily you let him slip away. He deserved so much.

“I’m a lot,” you choked out.

He smiled softly as he cupped your face gently, not moving to brush away tears that were threatening to fall. He simply held you, wordlessly accepting all that you were.

“Never too much, and always enough, firefly.”

You wanted to thank whatever higher power was out there.

Whatever one compelled Jihoon to search your Instagram page and accidentally like a post from years ago, a notification that could have been swiped away accidentally in the middle of the night by a bleary-eyed and half-awake you.

Because what kind of future would’ve come otherwise?

Would you have reconnected in some other way, more purposeful and intentional?

Or would you have convinced yourselves that living apart was something that was inevitable and it was better to have simply let the past be the past?

Or would you have yearned for each other in ways that even the potential of running into each other would lead to an eruption of nerves?

You breathed in slowly as you wrapped your arms around his middle, breathing him in, letting his heartbeat drown out even the sound of the crashing ocean beside you.

It didn’t really matter.

This future will be one that you build.

Together.

[끝.]

[intuitive-revelations]

Legend of Ruby Sunday live notes

Obviously spoilers below, recorded as I watched. Definitely gonna watch again though. I think I might do a seperate write up about 'what to take away' because oh my god does this episode throw a lot at you!

"Uncle"!!

We're definitiely getting a UNIT spin-off aren't we? I recognised the soldier guy straight away (tbh, when I first saw the 60th trailers he looked so odd in the shots used I thought he was cgi/deepfaked). If we do get it, I do hope they go for the military vs science conflict like I imagine - he'd be a good 'antagonist' for Kate in that regard.

Ooh... just pointing out the anagram in-universe....huh.

"TARDIS technology." Oh she's doomed this episode, I can feel it coming.

Oh! And we're doing the Susan mention?! Ok?!

AND THAT'S THE END OF THE PRE-TITLES WHAT? WHY?

Must be a redirect, though, surely? 'Susan' is not much to go off. It's silly they're jumping to this straight away in-universe, even with the TARDIS anagram.

"Well, except the obvious." "We'll get him." Is that a Musk slam?

Mel!

"Call me Sue" that's a bit of evidence against. Though if it is somehow Susan, her actually being 'really nice' would be cute.

Ruby Rose besties! Ruby Rose besties!

Hm. If this is somehow Susan, we are so going to dissect that thing about Sue Triad's parents.

Donna mention. :)

Oh my god, I've just realised. The TARDIS is a central part of this mystery, and that's exactly what Mrs Flood claimed to recognise...

Uhh.... what's up with Flood?

"HE WAITS NO MORE."

We're really settling on the Susan thing, huh.

"He never mentioned a granddaughter." Five Doctors fans keep losing.

"If you've got a granddaughter, that means you've got kids." "Well, not quite. Not yet." OMG WE'RE DOING THIS?

(Also...he definitely HAS had kids before - and not just Jenny and Miranda. But wild that we're implying Susan isn't the child of one of them.)

"I bring disaster. What if I go back and ruin her?" Hmm... so far kinda compatible with To the Death?

"Especially the Prime Minister." lol.

"N-dimenionsal time", thanks, I'll absorb that into my interpretation of time, time tracks etc. in the whoniverse.

Mel lost her family. Is that a reference? Doesn't immediately bring something to mind.

I like the way the lights are fading up and down, very TARDIS-y.

Ooh, the VHS-y environment.

"The greatest power of all: memory. Time is remembered. Memory is time." MEMORY TARDIS MEMORY TARDIS.

"What is the memory of a time machine?" No way.

Ok, getting ready for a twist. RTD said where people were is important.

...or not?

The one who waits?!

Well there goes the colonel. No surprise.

Hmm... the description "it's everything" sounds a lot like the Void ship from Doomsday.

"It's the Beast." Not that 'Beast' surely?

"It's so old. It's been waiting. It's been waiting for so long." So those "one"s are the same, confirmed?

"It's the TARDIS" AHHHH.

It's groaning again! "It's made that noise before."

"What if it exists around the TARDIS now and we just can't see it?"

I don't think this is our Susan, but if she somehow is I'm really enjoying her dorkiness.

...that's two "no more" drops so far. Hmm...

"AND I THINK WE CAN SUCCEED" Hello?!

It's woven into the TARDIS? Some sort of parasite maybe? Didn't RTD say something about the splitting in The Giggle being important?

"He has hidden in the Howling Void. He has hidden within the tempest." WAIT I WAS RIGHT?! It's Void related. The Eternals called it the Howling didn't they?!

"All this time, he whispered and delighted and seduced, and the vessel did obey. For none should be more mighty and none should be more wise than the King himself." UHHHHH.

HARRIET F*CKING ARBINGER (and she said she was born for this... of course)

WAIT THAT'S SAXON'S THEME WTF

"I dream of worlds with orange skies." HUH? I guess that could be from Boom, but you know what I'm thinking

"There is the Toymaker: the God of Games. There is Trickster: the God of traps." I f*cking knew it. The 'Pantheon' is the Pantheon of Discord!

"There is Maestro: the God of Music. There is Reprobate: of Spite. There is the Mara, the God of Beasts, and the three-fold deity of malice and mischeif and misery." Ok Mara mention... BUT also, "three-fold" that's deliberate right?! Like the Six-Fold God?

"The mother and father and other of them all."

SUTEKH!

"Did you think I was family, Doctor?" Phew...

And it's Gabriel Woolf voicing him! That's good.

Wait... he also voiced the Beast... huh. What does that mean with the reference this episode?

[superherotiger]

YO bestie gonna require you to ramble more about those kids and parents from the outsider pov fic thanks

AHHHH BESTIE YOU BETTER LOCK IN BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO GO FERAL-

If there's one element of the Outsider POV that owns my soul, it's the X-23 kids and everything surrounding them. Like look at this list- LOOK AT IT!

I've thought about them so much it's unhealthy 🤣

I tried to keep it as accurate to Logan (2017) as possible, using all the kids names I could find on the wiki and then added a couple extras to make it to the lucky number 23. The extras are shown with a green square and have some fun little references included! Alex is named after Riptide's actor Álex González, Theresa is Banshee's daughter in the comics, January is named after Emma Frost's actress January Jones, and I chose Ace for Gambit's kiddo because PUNS okay? I needed at least one hahah!

My memory is a little rusty but I believe the bolded names meant the parent was still alive, but that could change if I saw an opportunity to include more of the parents that never got to be.

Anyway, I'm about to ramble hard about the kids so I'll chuck it below the read more to spare some of you 🤣

Okay so straight off the bat, I wanted to explain why Laura is X-2 not X-23 she normally is. I knew from the start that I wanted Luna to be younger than Laura so that meant if Laura was X-23 and Luna was a later number, it wouldn't exactly be the X-23 program anymore. To get around this I thought the in-universe reason for it being called the X-23 program would be because they successfully cloned only 23 subjects using the limited amounts of DNA they had in store. Some DNA they had more of (hence Nature Girl having multiple clones) while others they only had small amounts to work with, which is a reason why the doctors were hesitant to get rid of Luna considering she was all that was left of Pietro (and as a result Magneto's) DNA. And that's how Luna became X-22 and Laura became X-2 (in a sort of half reference lol).

I love the idea of the older kids looking out for the younger ones. We see in the movie that they clearly had tight bonds despite their horrible treatment and I really wanted to play into that for the fic, showing how they really relied on each other to get through and were still normal kids at the heart of it all. The more I write about them though the more I wish some of them had survived because they're all so sweet and deserved so much better (yes I know I'm the one that wrote them dying, it was for the plot hush 🤣)

I’m not sure if I’ve explicitly mentioned it before but the Avalanche in this AU is based on an older version of Lance Alvers from X-Men: Evolution. As heartbreaking as it was, I loved writing Lance’s reaction to finding out that Rictor had died. I think he would’ve been so proud of his son for being such a strong leader for the other kids, and he’s very similar to Peter in that he doesn’t hesitate to consider Rictor his own child. It’s interesting because Peter and Lance are kind of parallels, with the main difference being that one of their kids survived and the other didn’t. We’ll get to see a bit more of Lance in the next chapter which I’m super hyped for!!

I touched a bit on Sabretooth’s feelings towards having a clone kid in my last ramble, but Gambit is also a really interesting one too. We’ll see it briefly in the next chapter, but I imagine there’s this deep sadness in Gambit that he prefers not to think about. While Sabretooth acts abrasive and dismissive, Gambit puts on a sort of “I wouldn’t have made a good father anyway” vibe so he doesn’t have to tackle just how much the situation hurts.

I’m really excited to show Storm and Jean’s reactions to learning about their kids and how they grieve in different ways. While Jean is desperate to know as much as possible about Joey even if it’s painful, Storm can’t bear the thought of all that Delilah went through and gets angry that they were so close to saving the kids but not fast enough.

This isn’t one we’ll touch on for a long time, but holy shit FABIEN FUCKING CORTEZ having a clone is one of my favourite details. Like bro, I haven’t even written the Fabian POV yet, but I think about it all the time. I don’t want to spoil too much, but the Fabian POV takes place years before anything else that’s been posted for the series and includes an event that changes Peter and Erik’s dynamic in a detrimental way. Like ongoing trauma kind of way. Changed the course of their lives kind of way. And I just imagine Erik seeing Fabian’s name as the DNA source for Jonah and being like “What the FUCK” whereas Peter is having war flashbacks like “cool cool that’s going in the vault 😀”. If I ever did touch on this plotline, I’d want it to be an older Luna trying to learn more about the other parents of the kids and realising oh fuck there’s actually beef between their family and the Cortez’ and how she reconciles that with the memory of her beloved friend.

I would talk more about Laura and Luna, but I don’t want to spoil all the fun things I have in store for their characters!!! So thank you for letting me ramble again, it’s been a blast and my brain has been going BRRR in the best way possible!! Love you dearest!

-Superherotiger

Send me an ask about the backstory of any of my fics and I’ll ramble!! ✨

[zhonglis-wifey]

self harm comfort

zhongli, il dottore, yoimiya (romantic) + klee (platonic)

goin through it recently :,) !! here’s to another 6 month (or forever, whatever comes first) clean streak! starting over again is annoying but i’m ready to try again with a positive attitude <3 hugs for everyone else going through the same stuff!!! we’re in this together besties

TW: self harm (duh), implied suicide in zhongli’s, not graphic/descriptive

ZHONGLI

For the first time in his life, Zhongli doesn’t really know what to say. The god of a billion words is suddenly and uncharacteristically speechless as you reluctantly show him what you’ve done to yourself. The silence is only making it worse; You have no idea what Zhongli is thinking about you. The thought of Zhongli quietly judging you makes you want to hurt yourself all over again, maybe even a little more this time.

But Zhongli can sense that you’re overthinking, so they speak very carefully in hopes of bringing you back to reality. Sure enough, his honeyed baritone words stifle your overwhelming mind, giving you no choice but to focus on what he says rather than the horrible things running through your head. Zhongli reminds you of his unrelenting love for you, that he would do anything to help you get through this, that you can always talk to him, that you can tell him you need help.

You can tell from the abnormal panic and desperation in their tone that they’re scared. Zhongli has seen so many awful things beyond your comprehension. Because of that, he’s seen so much pain and loss. You can tell that Zhongli’s terrified that this is just the beginning of something far more sinister, that you might… disappear at your own hands like others have in the past. It’s his turn to overthink now. After everything they’ve been through, Zhongli doesn’t know if they can handle another loss.

That fear will only manifest into caring for you, though. Zhongli knows that if he wants to keep you here, alive with him, then he has to do everything in his power to help you recover.

IL DOTTORE

Dottore has a hard time understanding what you mean when you explain to him what happened. What do you mean you hurt yourself? Doesn’t that go against the innate human instinct of self preservation? And even if it did make sense for humans to self harm when they feel bad about themselves, which it absolutely didn’t, then what was so wrong with you that you had to do that to yourself?

Dottore genuinely could not wrap his head around what you couldn’t accept about yourself. To him, at least, there wasn’t a single thing worth hurting you over. He had spent his entire professional life looking to improve human beings by any means necessary, seeing them as inherently flawed, but you were always the exception. You were perfect to him, why couldn’t you see that too?

Not to worry, though. Dottore will never let you hurt yourself again. He’ll gently coax you into letting him take care of your self-inflicted wounds — he is a doctor, after all — and wait patiently for you to explain what’s going on in your mind. If you’re not ready to talk, he can wait. What authority does he have to push the only perfect being into doing something they don’t want to do? But he’ll always remind you that he’s here to listen and fix your problems, no matter what it takes.

NAGANOHARA YOIMIYA

As carefree and fun-loving as Yoimiya is, her demeanor completely shifts when she finds out that you’ve been hurting yourself. She’s heartbroken, to put it simply. Her little spark snuffed themself out. That’s not supposed to happen. She wanted you to be happy and safe, not like this.

Yoimiya decides that the best course of action is to do something to take your mind off of whatever’s troubling you. She’ll have you come play with the kids or design fireworks with her to remind you that you can always do something fun with others. She’ll venture into the most scenic parts of Narukami Island with you to remind you that there is beauty in this world. She’ll plan an elaborate firework display (with the help of her dad, who also loves you) just for you as a reminder of her love.

Yoimiya will make sure that you remember how loved you are. She won’t stop trying to cheer you up until she’s 100% certain that you love yourself as much as she does. Until then, enjoy endless affection from the most beautiful girl in Hanamizaka, the Queen of the Summer Festival. She’ll always be there for you.

KLEE (platonic/familial)

As kind and sympathetic as the little girl was, Klee was far too young to understand what you were going through. You didn’t want to ruin her adorably childish worldview with your grown-up issues. Problems like this made you want to shield Klee from the darkness of the world so she wouldn’t even have to experience them when she grew up.

But things don’t always go according to plan. While coloring with Klee in solitary confinement (as you often did; you couldn’t bear to let her suffer alone in there so you liked to sneak in), she ended up seeing the physical manifestations of your inner turmoil. You fumbled for an answer when she asked where they came from, eventually stating that you had “fought a big, scary monster.” It wasn’t technically a lie. It seemed fair enough to compare your feelings to a monster.

Even if she didn’t quite comprehend the full weight of the situation, Klee was very sweet about it all. She told you to turn away for a bit while she drew “something special for you.” You obliged, happy to let her enjoy her childlike joys while she still had them. You wished you could be as carefree as Klee.

By the end of the day, when you had to leave the solitary confinement room, Klee handed you the finished drawing as a parting gift. It was of you bravely fighting a lawachurl outside of Mondstadt’s front gate, keeping it from wreaking havoc on the city. Klee included your injuries in the drawing, labeling them as “proof that [Name]’s strong.” She’d never know how happy that made you feel. She’d never know that you looked at it every day, keeping it securely framed in your home as a reminder that you could get through this.

[starr-finn]

Hi!!! So I got something (a request) for u :)

- Anyways, it's for Faith (John) bc as that one Tiktok comment said, 'sometimes babygirl is a 35 year old man'

- So reader isn't necessarily religious, but she comes along with John on these 'missions'(?) to make sure he doesn't go completely insane

- (This was suggested by Father Garcia, saying that it would be good to make sure that he doesn't go mad with grief or something)

- Reader is somehow SO optimistic and like a ball of sunshine all the time???

- Like she (or they idm too much) always manages to be somewhat optimistic and always focuses on the good side of things?

- Like, we almost died? Yeah, almost dude! We did it :D

- At first John finds it kind of weird but he kind of grows on it?

- At one point, John gets really down and sad about things in like, the clinic or whatever, and Reader's like 'Don't worry, we'll make it, you and me! :)'

- She just turns around (like this ig) and gives him a really warm smile and John's heart go BOOM BOOM (💀)

- And John's like 'Oh no I like them in a not platonic way ohno'

- Idk where this is going lmao 😭

AHHHHHH BESTIE YESSSSS!!!!

John Ward X Reader

Author's note: Reader is so Bubbly, it's odd in this time the game takes place. Minor angst and depictions of injury potential minor mentions of gore, reader was stabbed like 7 times, poorly written Catholicism mention again lol and very random additions to the story I made up because why not, no mention of the abortion clinic cuz that's my least favorite part lmaooooo

John had never met someone like you, You were so joyful! Sure, he thought it was funny, and oddly cute sometimes, But sometimes, the sheer joy was off-putting and sometimes uncomfortable. He didn't fully understand why you seemed so happy and cheerful in the situation you both are in together. He remembers the day Father Garcia told him it was a good idea to keep you around, claiming it was good for mental health to have someone else around to talk to in these situations. He never understood that, but he was willing to keep you around, he thought you were nice. He genuinely cared about you, so when you got attacked by a couple demons, and were left in the clinic at the base of operations you guys all set up together, John almost lost his mind, he had seen you get stabbed, and he was told by the guy they had running the clinic that if he hadn't been so careful carrying you in that you may not have made it. John was basically crying when you were put into surgery, you were bleeding so badly, and he swore he thought he could inside the wounds, He felt so gross after seeing you like that. John was pacing around outside listening to Garcia tell him it was going to be ok, and then the doctor walked out, and gave the news you were ok, and John never cried that hard in his life. He was given the ok to go in and see you, and he wasted no time. The sight of you laying on a stiff, uncomfortable bed, looking tired and defeated, while also smiling at him, made his heart feel a way he hadn't felt since he married his ex-wife, he knew the feeling too well, but he never expected he'd feel it for you of all people.

John walks over and sits beside you "How are you feeling?" He seemed scared, but happy, and you had a feeling you knew why

You smile and gently brush his hair back "Like hell...but hey, that's better than what I felt earlier!"

John chuckles and ruffles your hair softly "You're so strong..."

You smile and lean closer to him, closing your eyes and falling asleep. John blushes a bit and smiles, he felt he would never come to terms with the way he felt about you, but, he knew he would protect you with his life, even if it meant losing it. To him, you were a gift from a god he had been losing belief in, a god he worried forgot him. You were special to him, and he never wanted to lose you. He stayed sitting beside you for a couple hours until he was forced to leave, but it became routine, he'd stay with you for hours until you were cleared to leave, and while you felt it was a bit odd, you were happy to have him close, and he was happy you were ok

[venusinsilk]

My best friend was dating a narcissist and I saw some red flags early on but she's a psychologist with a fucking doctorate degree so I kind of kept my thoughts to myself for the first idk 6 months they were seeing each other. I guess I assumed she would see the signs for herself and make a decision to engage with him. I also didn't want to ruin the honeymoon period she was going through because she genuinely seemed so happy.

They are coworkers. I already gave her my 2 cents and said she was taking a risk having sex with a coworker. I've done it too, it happens to a lot of people and there are varying consequences.

There were so many signs he was a piece of shit. He wouldn't let her in his house. My reaction was naturally "what's inside the house? What is he hiding?" We would laugh about it but the only time she went there, he said he had to run inside to grab clothes and he had her wait in the car.

When she brought him to dinner to meet me and my bf, he was super reserved and didn't say much. At the time when he visited, I also had 2 friends staying at my house over the weekend. They're a couple, and one of them does bdsm/dominatrix work when she visits us because she has a lot of clients in this area. They didn't go out to dinner with us, but I suggested going back to my place for drinks after dinner. So we go home and naturally the couple joins us in the kitchen for beer or wine. And one of them (the one who is the partner of the sex worker) recognizes the coworker. "I feel like I've met you before," she says to him. "I get that a lot" he says, and doesn't elaborate. He is super quiet and hardly engages with any of us. After my bestie and her coworker/boyfriend leave, the couple staying with us tells me that they definitely recognized him from work- either a sex party or he was a past client. They also ask me to keep it a secret, because they aren't 100% sure and don't want to cause any drama in my friend's life, so I do keep it a secret.

My best friend didn't want to be in a monogamous relationship with him, but he begged her to be his girlfriend. So for only 6 months they were in a "relationship" where she only saw him, and presumably he was with her. But he wouldn't respond to her on weekends and she would frequently become frustrated, saying "I have a 'boyfriend' who doesn't talk to me." I had to finally look her in the eyes and tell her why I didn't like him and I didn't like the way he treated her and she finally broke it off with him at work the following week.

What was inside the house? A fucking family. A mother and child. His child.

After she broke up with him, she started receiving phone calls, texts and voicemails from 2 women- the mother of his child (who he lives with) and another coworker who was also "dating" him. She did not engage with either of them. But she was bombarded with information about his relationship with both of these women, and they demanded info from her.

Last night I went to her place and she told me all of this and more, and I told her about the sex worker friend recognizing him. We can definitely confirm that he's a sex addict and this probably isn't the first time the mother has discovered he had multiple partners.

I'm still reeling from this and so disturbed by the way this man moved so casually into my friend's life -- into MY LIFE -- and lied about everything to us and continues to hurt people around him with no consequences. I feel very inspired by that article about the barista smashing an asshole's windshield with a hammer and I would love to do something like that to him, but the other coworker he was sleeping with already slashed his tires and he had to file a restraining order.

[coupleoffanfics]

Idea Ranting or something about y/n’s friend.

First Post — Second Post

Warning: Has not been proofread and you can probably tell.

I'm thinking that y/n would have one friend. They're so close and hanging out together all the time that her friend's parents basically see y/n as their second child. Girl needs normal love and affection and there's no way she's getting that from the batfamily.

Thinking of a name and personality for y/n's friend is kinda difficult. Just ended up going with Eleanor. It sounds strong, elegant, and Victorian. For the last name, maybe Spencer. Idk. For Eleanor's personality I'm thinking of something bold and caring. I just like the mental image of y/n hiding behind her bestie for help. It would also be a good contrast between y/n's meekness.

Eleanor's nickname is Norah. Yes, I'm bringing this up now because Norah is shorter to write.

y/n and Norah probably meet at school. Since y/n goes to Gotham Academy which is a private school, Norah's parents are probably lawyers, doctors, or something. There wasn't anything in particular that brought them together, they just hung out. Seeing how Norah wasn't intimidated or enamored by the fact that y/n was a Wayne was also a plus.

They were friends, but not best friends until y/n quit vigilantism. Of course Norah knew nothing of that part of y/n's life. y/n suddenly had more time to hangout and had sleepovers. Everything was fine until Norah started noticing how much y/n was at her house and never at her own.

It wasn't like y/n living in her house was a problem. Norah liked y/n, she was an only child and didn't mind. Her parents enjoyed her company as well. It just worried Norah.

She was half debating on going to y/n's adopted brother, Tim, to ask if y/n got into a fight with her family but quickly shut down that idea. It would have been weird to ask and it wasn't like it was her place to know. Plus she rarely sees Tim at school considering he skipped a grade, so they rarely interacted.

Since y/n was basically sleeping at Norah's house every 3 to 5 nights, Norah and her family basically got a bunk bed. That way y/n wouldn't have to sleep on the couch anymore.

—————

"Oh, when did you get a bunk bed?" y/n asked as she entered the room. "Just last weekend. Me and my dad were struggling to put it together for a few hours." Norah chuckled while y/n was still perplexed.

It seemed like y/n was struggling to ask something. The sudden change in the room reminded her that she didn't need an answer to the question of why. It wasn't her home. That reminder made her reflect on her time here. How much time she spent here, how she was too comfortable here. The idea of her getting comfortable in a house that was not hers made her feel selfish and ashamed. She hoped that she wasn't too much of a nuisance to her friend and her parents. She'd probably try to back off and make sure not to cross this line again.

Yet Norah and her parents felt that there was no line crossed. As Norah turned on the TV she explained to y/n, "Since you sleepover so often I thought it'd be better if you know, sleep on a bed and not the couch. Now what do you feel like watching tonight? I know you like horror movies, but I was thinking of an action movie."

The [hair color] haired girl tuned out what Norah was saying. She felt, well she wasn't sure what she was feeling. All she knew was she didn't want to be an inconvenience or anything to the people that were so kind to her. She'd speak up completely disregarding the one sided conversation about what movie they were going to watch. "You, um…You didn't have to do that, you know."

Seeing how y/n's [eye color] eyes shifted away from Norah and her lips slightly moving to the right, Norah knew there was something bothering her. And she had an idea of what it was. In her opinion, y/n kneeled down to everyone, even to those who don't deserve it. y/n always kneeled down without expecting or asking for anything in return. Well maybe not expecting anything positive.

Norah shrugged her shoulders. Acting like this wasn't a big deal would ease y/n. "Eh, whatnot. I like having you over and I don't want you to not enjoy your time staying over." Hearing the little reassurance made y/n feel light. The weighted idea of being a nuisance slipped off her shoulders for a moment and would be forgotten for the time being as Norah distracted her.

The girl wanted to say that y/n shouldn't feel bad for having someone going out of their way to do something for her. But that would have ruined the mood for the rest of the night.

—————

When Damian came around y/n was noticeably more down than usual. Norah asked what was wrong and y/n's bottled up emotions and exploded. Maybe not exploding more like ranting and hugging a pillow to hide any tears just happened.

Not everything was revealed, but Norah never knew how low her self esteem was. How much she felt like an outsider in what was supposed to be her home. How her father told her to brush off any cruel things the youngest Wayne said because he went through some things. How lonely it was living there.

Learning all of this made Norah pissed. She was seething in the bean bag chair while learning this information. This lil cinnamon roll was now adopted by the Spencer family Norah mentally declared. This was her sister and no one was going to stop her. At least not yet.

After that night Norah suggested having a journal to write everything down. Of course y/n took that suggestion to heart and wrote in her journal almost daily. If only they knew how that backfire on them.

y/n dating Xander Jeremiah, Norah didn't think too much about it. It did get annoying hearing her gush about him if his name came up. But she was happy that her social circle got bigger and that she was happy with someone.

When learning he was dating her because she was a Wayne, Norah was loading up her metaphorical gun. Would have hunted him down to scream at him if y/n wasn't in need of support. Kinda pissed that y/n still ran back to him.

Doesn't trust him after that and will poke fun at him. Calling him a golddigger no matter how much y/n protests against the name. He needed some payback, y/n wasn't going to deliver, and Norah wasn't one to let justice go unserved.

When Xander revealed himself to Jeremiah. The twin brother of the newest Gotham psycho, Norah lost her shit. Why was y/n so calm about this!? She shouldn't be this calm about this!

After Jeremiah got sprayed and slowly began changing, Norah wanted y/n to just break up with him already. Sending him to Arkham wasn't helping and who knows how long it will take to find a cure. It also wasn't helping that his physical appearance was making look like the Joker.

y/n was too fucking loyal in her opinion. Not willing to let go until innocent people died. Until he was just another psycho that walked Gotham.

Though Norah could understand where y/n was coming from. There weren't a lot of people that care about her or that she trusted. It just hurt Norah to see her best friend struggling. Grasping at straws.

Of courses she felt bad for Jeremiah. Sure she wanted to punch his face in for hurting y/n the first time, but no one deserved to lose their sanity. It was hard for everyone to watch everything spiral down.

Then his obsessive behavior toward y/n was beyond disturbing to Norah. His little cult and the things he was willing to do to get to y/n naturally put stress on both of them. She was determined to stay by y/n because she needed support more than ever. 

Things couldn’t get worse, Norah thought.

Then there was this other little rat named Jerome that would just not leave y/n alone. Norah was constantly fearing for y/n's safety because these two fuckers just had to torment y/n.

Guys, just fuck off. Leave y/n alone she's been through enough. If not then go get hit by a bus. - Norah

Then the batfam just swoops in taking y/n. Norah is confused and conflicted. One hand she was confused as to why y/n's family is caring about her now. On the other she knows that they'd probably be able to provide more security than her.

Gets weird vibes when visiting y/n at the manor since she's been restricted from going out too much. y/n's brothers were interesting- no they were weird and they pissed Norah off.

They had the gall to interrogate her like she wasn't y/n's best friend and real support unlike them. Her own family. Will go off on them on y/n's behavior if she just asked.

I would love the idea of Norah being a meta human, but idk. Norah wants to be a hero since she has a power that could help and y/n just sweating in the background. She doesn't want to lose or drift apart from Norah because of vigilantism like with the family. But I'm still on the fence about that.

I would have put tags on this but it wouldn't feel right I guess. It's more of writing out some ideas.

Also debating on how big of a role she'll play in the story. I know some people don't particularly like OCs in whatever reader-insert and it depends on how prevalent they are. I don't want to just throw y/n out to fend for herself. I do plan on having multiple endings and one being a good ending that has Norah helping or leaving Gotham with y/n. I don't know, I just fear that readers wouldn't like her. But for now I plan on having her be y/n's confidant.

[taexual]

I was needing some serotonin and you came through, as always 🤭

Because obviously jk is the type to spend 0.5 seconds with his love, to feel like life is worth living, saying some shit like 'air? Oh yn breaths air *sights dreamily*'

“Yeah,” Jungkook said, bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement. “It’s the exact colour of her eyes.”

“Her eye—Jesus Christ,” Minjun groaned.

Just proving my point, once again

Minjun shook his head, half disbelieving, half resigned. He was not a doctor, and he would never claim to have any medical knowledge, but even his amateur eye could recognise lovesickness when he saw it.

Down bad is what we call it bestie, he's setting and beating his own record atp

Jungkook blew out the smoke with a heavy—and violent, too—groan, and it cut Minjun off. “I love her so much."

Girl.. Please I love them so much, oc really said, I'm gonna consume this man's every thought without even knowing, good for her 😌

Also this???

Closing the door of the dressing room behind himself, he abruptly remembered an ancient legend that his grandmother had told him—about Orpheus and Eurydice. And he knew, without any doubt whatsoever, that if he had to walk away from you without looking back so that the two of you could live, you would both perish.

He would always turn back to look at you one last time.

First of all, ouch, uncalled for :c

And second, jk is never escaping the Orpheus curse istg, first it was Art (onlyswan) and now you, yall are just on a mission to crush my heart and it shows

And man I love the plotting, Jude’s redemption arc (he had me anxious for a good while tho, the trust issues were showing) but he did great and I can't wait for Sid to eat his own shit :D

So, you had jokingly asked Jungkook if the Katana was the love of his life, too. And he’d responded, without missing a single beat, that it wasn’t. That you were.

He’d said it with a smug grin, so, of course, you assumed he was just teasing—because, in your defence, he often was—and you rolled your eyes and didn’t think much of it. But now, holding the keys to his bike that he’d given up, you accepted, finally, that he’d meant it, even back then.

Stop I'm tearing up, back when the bet was still going and all of that was going down, I kept debating how everything would play out, with the presence of that shithead, jk being his own enemy, and oc being unable to face her feelings for shit, but each day you prove to be an amazing writer, and through his actions, their attempts at communicating, getting Sid to jail obvs, and showing these moments of realization for each character, is just *chefs kiss*, it adds up so so well, and it has felt so natural going through this series c:

But back to this bitch

"He should have been grateful I even invited him to see me, he should have been fucking kissing my ass, but instead, he was trying to appear like a little angel to her.”

“He was—he was setting some fucking standard that I had to live up to. And why the fuck should I? I’m her only son. Who the fuck is Jungkook to her? Fucking nobody. He’s a fucking wannabe, that’s what he is.

I swear his soul dies slowly every time someone shows an ounce of decency and respect (not directed to him) in his presence, like how narcissistic do you have to be for this to be your thought process, my dude, get a grip, go to therapy, or fly yourself to the sun if you want, I'm sure his ego would like being the first there, considering he probably has the money to

Love oc constantly reminding us that she's a bad bitch, and that jk has every right and duty to go around bragging about her 🤭

Noticing the sight, the rest of the band members piled into the room, hollering war cries and jumping on the two of you in a chaotic group hug. They tousled your hair when they pulled away, and ran off, seemingly bouncing off the walls of the room as they went.

Ugghh, they're so freaking endearing, the definition of found family

And now for the continuation of jk and oc making my heart combust:

Jungkook did not feel like other people. He felt like you, as much as you felt like you. And right now, with the water running from his skin to yours, you felt calm. Easy. Solid, but serene. He was your safe space.

If you hear me screeching, no you don't

“You know, you say things sometimes,” you said, “and I know you know exactly what you’re doing.”

“Really?” His voice was exuberant. “Are you swooning for me, then?”

You grimaced. “I wouldn’t call it swoo—”

“Getting weak in the knees?”

“I don’t get weak in the knees.”

BUT I SURE DO, DUDE WHAT, STOP IT WITH THE FLIRTING, giving whoreish behavior 😑(respectfully)

“It wasn’t the bet that hurt me,” you said. “But you fixed every problem that did. We actually put one of them in the back of a police car tonight. And you and I learnt how to talk to each other in the process. Look at us now.”

YES LOOK AT YOU, I love this for them, this is what I aspire to be in life, yep

Also not you making me feel all proud and protective over fictional characters, Jesus

But yeah, if it wasn't obvious enough, I loved every second of this, I love your story, I'm gonna need an entire saga about this actually, spin offs, cameos, prequels and sequels, the whole thing (a special about Sid rotting in jail (or a mental institute) would be awesome as well)

I can't wait for the next one, I appreciate your work and the effort you put into these, which obviously pay off at the end, and I hope you're taking care of yourself, and enjoying life in the meantime <3

so i saw your ask as soon as i got it, the notification literally popped up before my eyes, and i was on a call with someone at the time but you bet i nodded and hummed without hearing anything for a few minutes, so i could read your message right away 🥹

i couldn't reply because Errands and then Sleep, but i want you to know that from the moment you sent this, i read it about a few hundred times, at least. numbers could be off by a dozen, i'm really shit at math

my point being, i love you so much that jungkook might have to pass down his Head Simp crown to me 🥺 seriously though, thank you for reading this and for taking the time to share your thoughts with me!!! if this story can be something that gives you the serotonin you need, i shall go to sleep happy every night

i was screeching the whole time i read this, that is all 🤍🤍🤍🤍

[starseternalnighttriumphant]

BAD INTENTIONS: CHAPTER FIFTEEN

A/N: Besties I am so sorry this took me.... over a year.... to complete... I wanted to thank every single person that has stuck with me this long and has given so much love to Bad Intentions. This is the final chapter! If you guys continue to stick around, Bad Intentions is slowly being turned into an original story! If you want to learn more about Elizabeth (aka Aelin) and Jax (aka Rowan), don't be afraid to ask.

Once again, thank you thank you thank you. I love you guys.

RATING: M for mature; NOT suitable for readers under 18 years old, read at your own risk.

WARNINGS: May include material that may be triggering. Possible graphic depictions of violence, sex, trauma; strong language use.

It took twelve hours before Rowan was one more minute away from losing his gods damn mind.

It didn’t help that he’d been forced to let an ambulance take an unconscious Aelin away and that he hadn’t seen her since then. He had been getting updates via text from Rhoe but they hadn’t staved off the welling panic threatening to break free from his rib cage.

It only took a few hours to wipe away any evidence he’d killed every single person that stood between him and his girlfriend. Gasoline and a match had taken care of it, and he’d stayed until all that was left was smoldering embers. He’d left Fenrys and Lorcan to call in a team to clear out the debris, making sure no one would find the bones buried under the rubble.

It took one hour to get home, wash the death off his body, and then head straight to the hospital.

He’d paced the spacious waiting room for another hour before Rhoe had snapped at him to sit the fuck down or leave.

Now it was nearing twelve hours and one minute since he’d watched EMTs take Aelin away and if the gods damn fucking doctor didn’t walk through the door in the next thirty seconds he’d—

“Captain Galathynius?”

Both Aelin’s father and Rowan shot out of their seats as the doctor came towards them, eyes tired.

“Your daughter is stable. We were able to fix the wound in her stomach. The blade didn’t hit anything vital but we still want to keep her here until it’s mostly healed for observation. All of her other injuries were, for the most part, superficial. She might have some scarring, but she’s alive and I think that’s what truly matters.”

The thought of any of those cuts leaving scars made Rowan’s stomach heave. Before she’d been rushed to the hospital, he’d seen the damage. Saw the carving on her thigh. It had made him put a few more bullets in Cairn’s dead body.

“Can we see her?” Rhoe asked, his voice thick with tears he’d probably not shed.

The doctor nodded. “She’s sedated and has been in and out, so she’s only semi-coherent.”

Rhoe thanked the doctor and then turned to Rowan. He opened his mouth but Rowan cut off whatever he was going to say. “You can go in first.”

Rhoe raised a brow but nodded, clapping him on the shoulder before leaving the waiting room. Rowan sighed and sat back down in a chair, putting his head in his hands. A few moments later, someone sat next to him.

“She okay?” Fenrys asked.

Rowan nodded, keeping his head in his hands. “Some potential scarring and they want to keep her for observation, but she’s okay.”

“That’s good,” Fenrys soothed, placing his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Why aren’t you visiting her?”

Rowan released a breath and sat back up, looking up at the ceiling. “I let Rhoe go first. Besides…” he ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “Aelin is in here because of me. Cairn took her because of me. I can’t… I can’t face her right now.”

“You can’t think like that,” Fenrys told him, punching him in the shoulder. “You can’t blame yourself for Cairn’s actions. She’s alive Rowan. Because of you. Now get your ass in that room and kiss the shit out of her.”

Rowan took a deep breath and nodded, getting his sorry ass up and heading for Aelin’s room. He pushed through the door gently, seeing Rhoe standing on her left side, his hand on hers. Her father gave Rowan a nod and Rowan took the seat on the right, taking her hand and looking her over.

Stitches had closed up the sharp cut Cairn had left on her cheekbone. On her other cheek a bruise had formed. His jaw clenched as he took in the various bandages on her arms. He knew that there were more hidden under the hospital gown and he was glad he couldn’t see them, or else he would’ve lost his shit.

He brought her hand to his mouth and pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles before whispering, “I’m so sorry golden girl. I failed you, and I’ll never be able to forgive myself. But I hope that you can forgive me.”

–

Aelin barely heard Rowan’s words as she fought to pull herself to consciousness.

She came to, her jumbled conscience zeroing in on the warmth encasing her hand. Skin against skin, a thumb was brushing across her knuckles. A steady beeping filled her ears. Her fingers twitched, brushing against a coarse blanket. She took in a deep breath, frowning at the burning pain that rolled across her chest.

She struggled to open her eyes, lids feeling as though bricks sat upon them. She blinked cartoonishly, her vision slowly coming back into focus. A frown pulled down her lips again as she gazed at her surroundings.

She was in a hospital room. Faint, warm light glowed in the room and she looked out the large windows to see it was night time. She looked at all the tubes attached to her, letting out a sigh as it seemed she had a million IVs attached to her. Then she looked to her right, and she swore her heart almost stopped.

Rowan was there, his hand in hers, his head bent over their joined hands. She weakly tried to squeeze his hand and his eyes shot up to hers. Then he was standing over her, whispering things to her as he cupped her face in his hands.

“Rowan—” she choked on a sob and he pressed a kiss to her forehead before resting his own against hers.

“It’s okay love, I’m here. You’re okay,” he whispered, wiping her tears away with his thumbs.

He held her like this until her tears dried and then he pulled back, taking her hand in both of his before sitting back in his chair. She finally realized her father was here too, sitting off to her left. She began crying again, and Rhoe immediately came up to her, shushing her as well.

“Dad, I’m so sorry–”

“None of that,” Rhoe said gently, placing his hand against her cheek. “I’m just glad that you’re okay, Fireheart.” He wiped away some tears before pulling back. “I’ll go let a nurse know you’re awake.”

Aelin watched him leave and then turned her attention back to her boyfriend, embarrassed that she could feel the burn of tears happening again. “How did you find me? What happened?”

Rowan dragged his chair closer and ran a finger over her cheek. “We can talk about that later. Right now you just need to focus on getting better so we can get you out of here.”

She let out a shaky breath, nodding. She switched subjects, squeezing his hand better this time. “I heard what you said,” she whispered. “There’s nothing to forgive, Rowan.”

His head dipped, eyes on their joined hands. “It’s all my fault, Aelin.”

“No,” she said firmly. “It’s not. All of this, it’s Cairn’s fault. He was the psycho that kidnapped me and hurt me. You saved me, Rowan. I wouldn’t be here without you. I know it’s too much to ask that you don’t blame yourself, but know that it’s not your fault, and there is nothing to forgive you for.”

He brought their hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles softly. “I don’t deserve you.”

“We deserve each other,” she murmured, tugging on their hands. “Come here.”

He stood and leaned into her and she tilted her face up. He kissed her gently, as if he was worried she would shatter.

“I love you,” she whispered against his mouth, reaching up to run a thumb over his cheek.

“I love you too, golden girl,” Rowan breathed back. “Forever.”

-

THREE YEARS LATER

“Just one more picture!”

Aelin groaned and laughed, fixing her cap as she stood pressed against Lysandra, smiling for the camera her mother had pointed at them.

“Okay, that’s good!” Evalin beamed and Aelin peeled off the itchy cap, tucking it under her arm with the empty diploma holder.

She stood with her family and Rowan outside the arena she and Lysandra had just graduated in, both now proud holders of a college degree. Aelin had decided to take the teaching route, and had her first job set up at the local high school teaching English.

After everything that had happened with Cairn, life had gotten back to relatively normal. Aelin was still regularly seeing a therapist after what had happened, and Rowan had supported her every step of the way. Months after the incident, Rowan had graduated and he was now, if anyone could actually believe it, a private investigator. He’d held strong to his promise to walk away from the gang life, and now he regularly worked with the Orynth Police Department and her father as a private investigator. Sometimes she laughed about it.

Rowan grabbed her up in his arms and spun her around, causing her to let out a peeling laugh. She held him close when he put her down, pulling back only far enough so she could look up into his pine green eyes.

“Congratulations golden girl,” he murmured, resting his forehead against hers. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you,” she breathed, pressing her lips to his.

He kissed her hard for a moment before he pulled back, a weird look on his face.

“You okay?” she asked, brows furrowing. “You look like you’re going to be sick.”

“Oh fucking hell,” he muttered and then shook his head.

When he got down on one knee, Aelin thought she was the one that was going to be sick. Her stomach immediately flipped and flopped and her heart began to race as he reached into a pocket and grabbed her left hand in his.

“I’m not good at these kinds of things, and I might fuck this all up,” Rowan started and she stared down at him, eyes beginning to burn with unshed tears. “But I love you, Aelin Galathynius. I think I fell in love with you the moment you asked me to kiss you at that party. I never thought I would feel this way about anyone, so each moment of these past few years has been new and exciting and crazy. All I know is that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.” He opened up the box and a stunning emerald with a golden band sat inside, a match to the emerald heart pendant that sat against her chest, something she never took off. “Will you marry—”

“Yes,” she cut him off, surprising both of them before Rowan grinned up at her. “Yes, yes, yes. Get up here and kiss me.”

He laughed and slid the ring on her finger before standing and grabbing her as she jumped into his arms.

As she kissed him while her family cheered at the scene they’d just witnessed, she couldn’t wait for this next part of her life.

-

@legallyhermione  @schmlip-scribble @werewolffprince  @empire-of-wildfire  @tangledraysofsunshine  @court-of-fuck-me-daddy  @shyvioletcat  @alifletcher2012  @micaela-84  @wesupremeginger @littlehoneyybee @vi0let-femmes @emdythewriter @l0sts0uls1128  @willsrune   @izou1204  @franticlittlegeek  @mariamuses @impossiblescissorspeachpaper  @someonemagical @viajandosinalas  @lorcanswife  @flowersinvegas  @lovemollywho @rhysismydaddy  @mybbyfeyre @empress-ofbloodshed  @tswaney17fics  @exersize-me-i-dare-u  @kindofawalkingpoem  @hermajestyanna  @happybookmuffin  @celeanagalathynius  @wifeofchrishemsworth @ttakeitbacknoww  @clockworkgraystairs  @dean-winchesters-impala-1967  @savethetreefish @chemicha  @bamchickawowow @superspiritfestival  @the-fandom-ness  @musicdreamer003 @mynewdreamwasyou  @ducksmurf135  @rhyswhitethorn @maastrash  @louiseleblancdiggory  @silentquartz @perseusannabeth @danibutterr  @azymondias05 @elriel4life @charincharge  @rowaelinismyotp  @fangirlprincess09 @aelin-bitch-queen @live-the-fangirl-life @mis-lil-red

[fangirlstorycreator]

Bestie!!! I just thought about something. Can I please request a Valek scenario where we don't feel so good and it turns out that we are pregnant and have a beautiful baby girl with him🥺 I'd love to read something about Valek as a father. You don't have to answer it today, take your time Bestie 🖤 🖤 🖤 Love you

Omg yes! I love your creativity with this one bestie 🥰 of course I will write this for you 💚

"What is wrong my love?" "I dont know Valek, I'm just feeling a little queasy. It's only in the mornings but it's still not nice" "Oh my sweet, can I do anything to help you?" "I'm not sure Valek, but thank you for offering. I'm going to visit a doctor tomorrow and see if they can tell me what it is" "Alright my love, let's get you some sleep, it should help you feel better. Come, lie with me" You snuggle up with him in bed and get a couple of hours sleep before the sun rises, and Valek has to stay in the bedroom in darkness for his own sleep.

The morning comes and your feeling sick again, resulting in throwing up twice in the bathroom. But once the nausea goes away, you brush your teeth and head out to the doctors. As your in the appointment, you and the doctor discuss the possible reasons behind your sickness, including pregnancy. "Pregnancy? Oh I dont think so...I couldn't be could I?" The doctor asks you weather they can give you a ultrasound scan which you agree too, and she moves the little device over your stomach with the cold gell. You watch her face expectantly and thats when you see her smile. Miss L/N how long have you been feeling like this?" "Oh gosh, ages now. Why?"

"Well it appears we have found out the reason behind your sickness" She turns a monitor around to show you a little wriggling blob on the black and white screen. "Congratulations, your 14 weeks pregnant" "14 weeks pregnant? How? I dont even have a bump yet?" "Not every woman has a bump in their pregnancy, but as the baby gets bigger so will your belly. Your pregnant miss L/N" "Wow, I'm having a baby" "Just to let you know, your at a stage where you can find out the gender too. Would you like to know?" You think for a moment, this is a lot of information thrown at you, you were not expecting to walk out of this appoint with a baby.

"Yes, I would like to know please" Later on that day when you got back home, all the other vampires were walking up from the daylight sleep as you entered the dark mansion. You were making you way up stairs to yours and Valeks bedroom when you walked in to see him getting dressed after drying off from his shower. "Ah there you are my beautiful darling" he says before giving you a kiss. "Did you sleep well Valek?" "I did my sweet. How are you feeling? Did the doctor help you?" You give him a happy smile before moving your hand into your back pocket. "She did, and I know what is causing my sickness" Then you hand Valek the piece of paper with a picture of the sonogram on, showing the baby"

"I'm pregnant Valek, I'm pregnant with your baby" You have never seen Valek smile as happily as he is now. "Oh Y/N....your carrying my baby....I cant belive it, I love you so much" He kisses you so sweetly before resting his hand against your belly. "I'm going to be a father, your going to be a mother. This is incredible!" "I'm so pleased that your happy Valek, were going to be a family. You, me and our daughter-" "Daughter?....its a girl?" "Yes Valek, it's a girl" A small tear runs down his face, and you pull him in for a hug. "I love you my darling" "I love you too Valek"

[eiseryn]

Arknights AU Sketches (Lei ft. NPC friends)

Today I am introducing Lei's NPC friends but it's kinda funny that I'm introducing them as sketches for an Arknights AU. It is what it is.

Let's start with Elise! In the original cyberpunk setting Lei's from, Elise is an older female doctor who worked for the most prestigious med corp but quit and opened up a clinic in the slums instead. She's obviously a very talented doctor and Lei looks up to her a lot, as Elise appears to be the epitome of an ideal doctor, in Lei's perspective. Someone who actually views saving lives as being the most important - a rarity in this capitalistic dystopian setting. TLDR: Elise is Lei's doctor senpai.

Elise in the Arknights AU is obviously a medic (the operator class). I'm not sure about her archetype/subclass but she's definitely one that actually does healing and a lot of it. They don't do that anymore XD. She is a six star (highest rarity) because she is really good at her job AKA doctoring around. With input from the Keeper (COC's version of the GM/DM), she's a liberi (bird people) specifically, an eagle. I thought this was extra fitting since Lei is a liberi (swan) as well, which makes them more parallel to each other.

Elise's introduction/onboard quote is: "Elise Amaya, a doctor of the medical department. You're worried about me? Don't be. I can take care of myself. Please come by if you have any injuries yourself."

According to Ceres (another one of Lei's friends), Elise has collapsed from overwork. Elise is just the self sacrificial type who would risk her life to save someone else's. Perhaps... this is due to guilt? So in her quote, I imagine the Arknights Doctor has heard about this too and showed concern for Elise, who brushed it off with the "I can take care of myself". This is how she brushed off Lei in the campaign when Lei showed concern for Elise. Elise... please :')

The next one is going to be Ceres! Who is Lei's bestie in the slums. Lei met her very soon after she moved to Prism's clinic in the slums. Although Ceres has her whole medical degree (apparently a neurosurgeon, according to Lei's coworkers), Ceres' job is to drive Prism's ambulance. Personality wise, Ceres is very shy, gentle, and soft-spoken. She's 2 years younger than Lei, so Lei dotes on her Ceres like the younger sister that Lei's never had. Ceres is also small and fragile-looking, so I imagine Lei has a fierce protective instinct over Ceres. They hang out a lot during what breaks they can steal on their long shifts and even spend time outside of work. Their relationship is so cute. 🥺🥺🥺 I love me girl friendships.

In the Arknights AU, Ceres is either a supporter/specialist class and let's pretend there's a subclass that involves driving/car XD because Ceres is not a fighter. That's also why I made her a 4 star, because she is definitely physically weak and doesn't seem to have any fighting skills. She probably is not there doing damage but I imagine if you put her on field when Lei and Elise are also on the field she gives big buffs to them or something XD. Moral support, you know. I wanted Ceres to be a soft prey animal but I ultimately settled for a deer because she is a dear. (I'm joking). In actuality, I describe her eyes as doe-like before and because of her docile, gentle personality, I thought a deer was very suitable for her!

Ceres' onboard quote is: "Oh, he-hello. I'm Ceres... I'm an ambulance driver. Have you seen Lei or Elise? I'm looking for them."

Sometimes Ceres stutters when she speaks! I think generally she does this more when she's nervous. (Or lying???) She's looking for her friends, Lei and Elise in this, because in the campaign currently she's also waiting for Lei and Elise to come back (crying in the club noises). 🥺 She's so cute I constantly want to give her headpats and hugs.

The last of Lei's NPC friends is her former (?) patient, Vail. (DISCLAIMER: ETHICALLY, THIS IS BAD). He is a runner and his info broker's name is Martial (whom we do a little job for in the campaign~) Anyways, he's kind of suspicious because he used to visit the clinic once or twice a week, sometimes injured, sometimes not, and purchase sedatives and brain stimulants. When Lei expressed concern for him, he replied. "Don't worry, most of them aren't for me". (bro, that's sus. But he's cute so it's okay 💅<- this is a joke but he is a cutie). Apparently he hasn't been in the Prism clinic for like 3 months now but he and Lei meet up for drinks sometimes, and they last met 3 weeks prior to the campaign. I wrote about this event :3 and made it mildly spicy :3 but welp we'll see if I post it.

In the Arknights AU, I originally wanted him to be a ranged guard (Lord class, my fave!!!) but there weren't any vanguards XD so I decided to make him a vanguard! He doesn't seem very high DPS based on what we've seen of him in combat -- which was one time and I don't think we saw him do any fighting. We got there when he had already 1v4ed and taken down 2 robot dogs though! (😳😳😳). He was using the same handgun as Lei, which I've drawn badly here LOL. Subclass wise, I imagine he's an agent for the range :3 I made him a catboy because he likes cats and also he's really catboy coded like there is no other way to describe him. He just feels like a catboy to me.

Vail's onboard quote is: "Hey Doctor, got any sedatives on you? Ask the medical department? Nah, that'll worry my usual Doc."

Hahah I sure wonder who his "usual Doc" is. Hmmmm who could it be? As I mentioned above, he purchases sedatives a lot. Here he is asking the Arknights doctor for some. What he's using them for is still a mystery to me at this point in time 😔

Another thing to note is that in Arknights, there's a deadly disease called oripathy and those Infected with it are heavily shunned by society. Anyways lots of operators (the character/ units) in Arknights are Infected people who are working to pay for their treatment (and also there are lots of doctors who are working on treatment). Unfortunately, Vail is infected😔

And finally, my girl, Lei!

As described before, she is a liberi! Specifically a black swan because I feel like she has ugly duckling -> swan vibes. She doesn't have many feathery parts to her outfit because she tries to keep her outfit neat and clean as a doctor/medical expert. She's also a medic like Elise, but she's probably more of an incantation medic who is a subclass that both heals and does damage. Just like her, in the campaign :D I drew her holding a healing gun that you can put like uhh healing chemicals into. And probably deadly chemicals too :') - or sedatives :3

Lei's onboard quote: "My name is Lei Lani. I'm a doctor who specializes in pharmaceutical research and synthesis. Let's work together and save more lives, Doctor."

Here she has a pretty cut and dry introduction quote. Nothing fancy, but it suits her. I imagine her other voicelines will talk about her friends more.

In Arknights, Olivia Silence gives people her feathers as gifts. So I kind of stole that idea for Lei, where she is also giving her friends her feathers, but she fashioned them into little charms with little gemstones. I imagine she spent lots of time putting the together for her friends and she wants them to serve as good luck charms where she prays for their safety and happiness.

The locations for where those charms are also pretty important! For Lei, she wears it as a necklace which hangs close to her heart because her giving out these charms is like her handing out pieces of her heart to her friends. For Elise, it hangs off her medical symbol because Lei looks up to her as a fellow doctor and I guess they're both working hard to save lives. For Ceres, it hangs off her antlers, close to her head because Lei always thinks of Ceres first. For Vail it uh.... well let's just say it's the most appropriate place to hang it without getting in the way of his movement. XD

I do plan on making actual E1 art of her one day ;w; and also I plan for her to have a 6 star alter who is a sniper (maybe caster?) cuz uh she sure has done lots uh one shot one kill type of thing.

EXTRA SPICY BONUS UNDER THE READMORE (It's not that spicy)

What's going on here? 😳😳😳 Some tail action??? Scandalous!

I mean, it can be cute and wholesome if you want it to be cute and wholesome.