#cannot stop thinking about the fact that my swer friend recognized him

[venusinsilk]

My best friend was dating a narcissist and I saw some red flags early on but she's a psychologist with a fucking doctorate degree so I kind of kept my thoughts to myself for the first idk 6 months they were seeing each other. I guess I assumed she would see the signs for herself and make a decision to engage with him. I also didn't want to ruin the honeymoon period she was going through because she genuinely seemed so happy.

They are coworkers. I already gave her my 2 cents and said she was taking a risk having sex with a coworker. I've done it too, it happens to a lot of people and there are varying consequences.

There were so many signs he was a piece of shit. He wouldn't let her in his house. My reaction was naturally "what's inside the house? What is he hiding?" We would laugh about it but the only time she went there, he said he had to run inside to grab clothes and he had her wait in the car.

When she brought him to dinner to meet me and my bf, he was super reserved and didn't say much. At the time when he visited, I also had 2 friends staying at my house over the weekend. They're a couple, and one of them does bdsm/dominatrix work when she visits us because she has a lot of clients in this area. They didn't go out to dinner with us, but I suggested going back to my place for drinks after dinner. So we go home and naturally the couple joins us in the kitchen for beer or wine. And one of them (the one who is the partner of the sex worker) recognizes the coworker. "I feel like I've met you before," she says to him. "I get that a lot" he says, and doesn't elaborate. He is super quiet and hardly engages with any of us. After my bestie and her coworker/boyfriend leave, the couple staying with us tells me that they definitely recognized him from work- either a sex party or he was a past client. They also ask me to keep it a secret, because they aren't 100% sure and don't want to cause any drama in my friend's life, so I do keep it a secret.

My best friend didn't want to be in a monogamous relationship with him, but he begged her to be his girlfriend. So for only 6 months they were in a "relationship" where she only saw him, and presumably he was with her. But he wouldn't respond to her on weekends and she would frequently become frustrated, saying "I have a 'boyfriend' who doesn't talk to me." I had to finally look her in the eyes and tell her why I didn't like him and I didn't like the way he treated her and she finally broke it off with him at work the following week.

What was inside the house? A fucking family. A mother and child. His child.

After she broke up with him, she started receiving phone calls, texts and voicemails from 2 women- the mother of his child (who he lives with) and another coworker who was also "dating" him. She did not engage with either of them. But she was bombarded with information about his relationship with both of these women, and they demanded info from her.

Last night I went to her place and she told me all of this and more, and I told her about the sex worker friend recognizing him. We can definitely confirm that he's a sex addict and this probably isn't the first time the mother has discovered he had multiple partners.

I'm still reeling from this and so disturbed by the way this man moved so casually into my friend's life -- into MY LIFE -- and lied about everything to us and continues to hurt people around him with no consequences. I feel very inspired by that article about the barista smashing an asshole's windshield with a hammer and I would love to do something like that to him, but the other coworker he was sleeping with already slashed his tires and he had to file a restraining order.