#not sure if this answers your question but i hope it helps???

[readwritealldayallnight]

(part of the Wife at First Sight series)

When Ghost had asked if you would help him with something, you’d answered yes without a question. You didn’t ask for details, smiling and thanking him every time he opened each door that led to the base’s parking garage, giggling when he even insisted on opening the truck door for you. You’d come to grow fond of your work husband, appreciating how he never failed to make you feel special.

You sometimes wished his affections were genuine, rather than part of what you’d assumed was a strange hazing ritual in the military (which you couldn’t deny kind of worked, the two of you had grown closer hadn’t you? Was that the point of hazings?).

But you knew that line of thinking wouldn’t lead anywhere, other than potential heartbreak. He surely was only joking around, wouldn’t return your feelings. That’s why you played along with the ruse, but tried your best not to fall too hard for the man who was making that more and more impossible.

Still though, you couldn’t deny the pang in your heart when you discovered the errand he requested your help with, was to go look at engagement rings.

Did he actually have someone special in his life? Someone he hoped to propose to?

You felt guilty, thinking there might be another person out there that he loves enough to ask them to marry him, all the while you’re enjoying his attention at work, pretending he could ever actually want you as his wife.

You follow him into the shop, eyes widening at the never ending cases and displays of shiny, glittering jewelry, as far as the eye can see.

He chuckles at your expression, telling you not to worry your pretty little head over any price tags, just to pick out whichever one you liked.

You appreciated that he trusts your judgement so much that he wanted your opinion on which ring to buy his partner, and so you take your time looking through them all, even if it makes you sad to picture him slipping this ring onto another person’s finger.

Gaze scanning the displays, your eye is instantly caught by one ring and one ring only. You point to it, Ghost humming in agreement, signalling for one of the employees behind the counter to unlock the case.

The man pulls the ring out, handing it to the Lieutenant who examines it in between gloved fingers.

“Let’s see how it fits.” He murmurs, taking your left hand in his and slipping the band onto your ring finger, both of your eyes locked on the movement.

“Like a glove.” The employee says with a smile, moving to gather a selection of ring boxes he hopes to show you both, seeing that the ring has evidently found its owner and fits perfectly.

“It’s really beautiful Ghost.” You tell him, admiring the ring as he admires your expression. “Your wife’s a lucky woman.” You add, thinking of the mystery woman you’re convinced he’s buying this for, assuming you must have a similar ring size to her or something, if he’s having you try it on.

Your eyes meet his own warm gaze as his hand folds your fingers, bringing the ring up to his lips to press a kiss through the mask.

“Not as lucky as I am to be her husband.”

[eddiemunchem]

Hiiii i love your work and your writing it’s so wonderful! i was wondering if i could put in a request of nerd!reader who worries too much about her test grades but eddie wants her to take a break from her overwhelming studying and when she refuses he decides to pleasure her whenever she gets a question right and it ends with filthy smut!! 😫

📄 study motivation | eddie cares about your grades just as much you do… that’s why he wants to do a little something to help you remember the right answers. honest.

⚠️ 2.8k words, fem!reader, nerd!reader, established relationship, cunnilingus/pussy eating, teasing, sloppy makeouts, p in v sex, unprotected sex, missionary position, porn with feelings!!, soft!dom!eddie (what?), service!bf!eddie, language, dirty talk, pet names, breeding kink, creampie, bigdick!eddie, soft+smitten!eddie, descriptions of fluids (almost always), praise, use of ‘good girl’, 18+ mdni!

💋i’m so so sorry for the tardiness of this love! life has just been.. life. but i hope this makes up for it!! thank you so so much for requesting and for your endless patience <333 i luv u so much!!!

“the process of cell separation is known as—?”

“cell isolation,” you answered without missing a beat. “though it’s also referred to as cell sorting.”

eddie pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes down at the card. laid out casually across your bed, clutching your cutesy little flashcards, eddie looked hilariously out of his element — he always did look a little that way in your room, though.

“how many of these did you make?” eddie asked incredulously, “i’m pretty sure i read this question before.”

you rolled your eyes and smiled at him fondly. “no, you’re thinking of cellular respiration. that was the question you read earlier.”

eddie waved his hand flippantly with a muttered, “whatever. same thing.”

“it’s most definitely not,” you mumbled as you checked off the question under the ‘correct’ column in your notebook. you lightly tapped your pen against the paper as you waited for eddie to read the next card.

and you waited. and waited.

“eddie?” you pressed without looking up from your notebook. more silence. with a soft sigh you glanced up to meet his gaze.

his expression was soft, eyes rounded and lips pulled into a small smile. he looked… fond. but there was something else etched into the lines of his face, something that was uncomfortably close to worry.

your heart skipped a beat and you cleared your throat.

“could you read the next question, please?”

rather than heeding your plea, eddie set the stack of flashcards on your blanket and reached out to grip your bare knee in his large hand.

“you’ve been studying nonstop for the past three days. take a break, yeah?” eddie suggested softly, giving your knee a gentle squeeze. your breath hitched in your throat and your cheeks warmed subtly, body reacting immediately to his affection, but you shook your head anyway.

“i can’t, eddie. i’ve really gotta ace this test.”

eddie blew out a short breath and shook his head, soft curls bouncing atop his shoulders. “i don’t even know how you can do this so much.”

“you mean study?” you asked with a small, amused scoff. eddie thinned his lips and nodded slowly, brown eyes wide and tossed to the side.

“if it were me i’d have to take breaks like, every five minutes.”

you arched a brow at him. “you literally spent twelve hours straight drafting out a campaign last week.” you reminded him, to which he waved you off.

“yeah, but that’s not boring. studying is.”

you held his gaze for a few moments before sighing softly. “it’s boring but it’s necessary.”

eddie fell silent and his brows furrowed slightly. he seemed to ponder something for a moment, then his eyes sparked and his lips pulled into a smile — one that bordered too much on a smirk for your comfort.

“maybe it doesn’t have to be. boring, i mean.”

eddie always had a way of coaxing you into agreeing to his suggestions, even if you felt hesitant about them at first.

and that’s how you ended up here, shorts and panties discarded, legs spread and eddie’s curly head buried between them, soft lips peppering kisses along your inner thigh.

“h-how is this going to work again?” you stuttered out, head already growing fuzzy even though he hadn’t even touched you that much. that was just the eddie munson effect, you supposed.

“i’ll read one of your cards, and you’ll answer the question. if you get it right, you get a reward.” eddie explained, voice lowered and deep. his eyes were endless pools of ebony as he stared up at you through the curtain of your thighs, kickstarting your heart and practically shoving it into your throat.

you nodded shakily and barely suppressed the urge to wiggle your hips, anticipation already sparking beneath your skin.

“first question,” eddie murmured, hot breath fanning over your clit. “when the chromosomes line up in mitosis this is known as which phase?”

the answer flew to the tip of your tongue easily, “metaphase.”

eddie smiled up at you and drew soft circles on your thighs with his thumbs. “good girl.” he whispered warmly.

your breath caught in your throat when eddie leaned forward and wrapped his mouth around your clit, tongue darting out to flick at it softly. pleasure zipped up your spine and you couldn’t stop the soft “fuck,” that dropped from your lips.

eddie laved his tongue against your clit a few more times before he pulled back and placed a soft kiss against it.

“next question,” he cooed, giving your clit one final kitten lick before reading off the words on the card. “hardening of the arteries is known as…?”

this time, the answer took a few seconds to pull itself to your brain. your clit was still buzzing from the weight of eddie’s tongue, a distraction that was quickly becoming a problem.

“a-atheriosclerosis.” you pushed out, pussy already missing the heat of eddie’s mouth, fog thickening subtly in your head.

“so smart, baby.” eddie gushed, voice warm and sincere, the genuine compliment boiling your skin even more than the fact that he was eating you out in the middle of your bed.

a small whimper flew past your lips when eddie flattened his tongue over your clit and pushed, rocking his face against your cunt and dipping his tongue down between your folds before swiping it back up.

this time, he stayed down for much longer, leaving you gasping and whimpering as he worked his tongue against you magically.

circling your clit with his tongue, swiping it side to side, dipping it between your folds and pushing the tip just inside your walls, —

“next question.” eddie growled as he suddenly pulled away from your cunt, voice thick with his own fair share of arousal, and you barely bit down the objection that bubbled in your throat.

you were the one who said you needed to study, after all.

“the functional unit of the kidney is known as?”

fuck, what was it? you knew it. of course you knew it. you’d studied it over and over, but eddie was breathing against your clit, his warm shoulders spreading your thighs out, and his fingers gripped your flesh so hard and you couldn’t fucking think.

“time’s tickin’, angel.” eddie whispered, lips moving against your cunt as he spoke. a shiver tore down your spine and pulled a whimper from your throat.

“fuck, it’s… it’s the n-nephron! please, eddie.”

eddie groaned into your heat and fuck, his tongue was finally on you again, licking and laving against your clit with rapid flicks. your fingers flew to his dark curls and you pulled, shoving his face deeper between your legs.

“fuck, eddie — so good, please —!”

eddie moaned against your clit, the new sensation sparking against your skin and lighting your nerves on fire. you didn’t want him to stop — you wanted him to devour you and make you cum on his tongue.

your hips moved of their own accord, and eddie let them — let you grind your pussy against his face, soak it with your juices, and all the while he panted and groaned into you, fingernails digging crescents into your skin.

“it’s so good,” you whined, using his tongue, swiping your clit up and down, faster — it was building in your gut, his thick, warm tongue working you up in the most delicious way, —

but then it was gone, and the groan that left your throat was nothing but desperate and angry; you snapped your eyes down to him and glared, chest sparking with irritation at the smirk on his lips.

“want me to read the next question?” eddie teased, pink tongue slipping out to swipe the glistening slick from his plump bottom lip. your slick. your gut warmed and you snapped.

“i want you to make me cum.”

eddie’s brows met his hairline and his smirk widened; he was getting far to much entertainment from this, and that shouldn’t be as sexy as it was.

“are you sure?” eddie whispered lowly, voice sultry and promising — and you know what? fuck studying. your hot, loving, more than likely riled-up boyfriend was right between your legs.

“fuck, yes.” you panted out, and eddie’s eyes darkened, forcing you into a full body shiver. eddie released his grip on your thighs and slithered up your body until your thighs caged his waist.

“don’t worry, angel.” eddie whispered, eyes focused on your flushed face. “‘m gonna make you cum so hard you see stars.”

you didn’t get a chance to respond before his lips were crashing into yours, coaxing them into a wet, sloppy dance immediately. you could taste yourself on his tongue, and it stirred the heat in your gut even more.

eddie rolled his body against yours, clothed bulge grinding against your wet, swollen cunt and pulling a wanton moan from your mouth. fuck, he was so hard.

“gonna fuck you so good,” eddie growled hotly into your mouth, tongue licking in and stealing your breath. “gonna fuck my pretty girl stupid.”

“please.” you moaned out without thought, hips rolling up to grind into his cock, pussy throbbing at the stretch it promised.

“fuck, you don’t have to ask. it’s yours, always.” eddie rumbled, hand pushing between your bodies to expertly unlatch his belt. your heart skipped a beat at the metallic clink, body buzzing like a bee and gut twisting.

eddie fastened his lips to yours as he shimmied his jeans down just enough to expose his underwear, the soft fabric a pleasant change from the rough texture of his pants. eddie released a groan of relief into your mouth as he pulled his boxers down and sprung his cock free.

“fuck, baby, i’m so hard for you.” eddie said, voice bordering on a whine, sliding his tip up and down your soaked folds. he let out a chuckle at the feeling.

“guess the feeling is mutual, yeah?”

you groaned and pushed your hips against him, coaxing him into action. “just fuck me, eddie.”

“always, sweet girl.” eddie murmured as he pressed his flared cockhead past your folds, both of you releasing twin moans of pleasure.

“always so tight and wet f’me, angel.” eddie panted out as he began to thrust shallowly, each one sinking his cock in just a bit further. the stretch was already almost too much and he wasn’t even half way in.

it was so fucking amazing.

you locked your ankles around his waist and tapped him with your heels. you just wanted him to fuck you already.

“faster, eddie.” you breathed out, staring up at him with lidded eyes. eddie drew in a shuddery breath and nodded before locking his lips with yours.

the kiss was messy — just tongues, lips and teeth everywhere, both of you desperately tasting one another; eddie’s hips picked up pace and his hands found your waist and held it up, allowing his cock to beat into your cervix with every thrust.

“fuck,” you mumbled into his mouth, toes curling at the pleasure resonating through your entire lower half. “so good, keep going like that.”

“i know, angel. i know how you like it.” eddie groaned in return, tongue thrusting into your mouth and gliding over your own. his cock speared through your walls and slid against every single sweet spot hidden within, cockhead crushing into your cervix and knocking your breath out.

slaps, slick squelches, groans and moans painted the atmosphere of your room, the study cards you’d worked so hard on bouncing forgotten on the blanket as eddie fucked himself into you almost savagely.

“feelin’ good, beautiful?” eddie murmured into your lip lock, rocking his hips into you so fast you were seeing stars. “is my cock makin’ you feel good?”

“yes,” you whined, hands flying up to grip his curls, thighs clenching around his waist. “so good, eddie.”

eddie groaned low in his throat and gripped one of your thighs, pushing it up until your knee nearly met your chest. it spread your legs open further and gave him ample access to absolutely spear himself inside you, all the way to the hilt, with every quick thrust.

“so sloppy,” eddie growled heatedly. “she’s so fuckin’ sloppy. listen to ‘er cryin’ f’me.”

part of you wished you could block out the sounds that squelched from between your legs. they were absolutely filthy and lewd, a vocalization of how good he was fucking you.

your brain felt like it was melting, as mushy and slick as your body by now. completely fucked up by eddie — his scent, his warmth, his cock, him.

“eddie,” you whined, unsure of what you were pleading for; your gut felt so tight, breath knocked from your lungs with every rabid thrust into your body, legs shaking from the force behind eddie’s movements.

“i’ve got you, angel.” eddie cooed, lips abandoning yours to graze along your jaw. “just let me take care of you, yeah?”

eddie continued to fuck into you like an animal, hips slapping into yours and fucking his cock deep into your drooling pussy, lips finding purchase along your neck and peppering it with kisses and nips.

that familiar heat was building in your gut — you were so close, you just needed a little bit more.

“w-wanna cum,” you droned, pulling weakly at eddie’s hair. “eddie, c-cum… please.”

“of course, baby,” eddie whispered against your skin, voice warm and thick. “i’ll make you cum, sweetheart.”

eddie’s hand left your hip and pushed between your bodies, fingers finding your clit with pinpoint accuracy and rolling it between them. you moaned lewdly and bucked your hips up, pushing his cock even deeper into your cunt.

eddie hissed and nipped rather harshly at your neck, startling a gasp from your lips. eddie laved his tongue over the tender skin in what you assumed to be an apology.

“close,” you whined; your body felt completely ravaged, walls brutalized by eddie’s thick cock and clit rubbed ragged by his fingers — any second now you’d pop —

“i feel it, baby.” eddie snarled, lips mouthing wetly over your skin. “feel your pussy fuckin’ flutterin’. don’t hold back, angel. cum on my cock.”

your whines and moans hit a fever pitch as your hips bucked into eddie’s thrusts desperately, pushing his cockhead against your cervix and bringing stars to your eyes.

“yes, fuck, c’mon, sweet girl. fuckin’ give it to me.” eddie groaned, hips slamming into your body and dick bruising your pussy — he was going so fast, fat cock slipping and sliding against that spot, fuck, his fingers were rubbing so fast too —

your back arched from the bed and your lips fell open as your orgasm crashed through your body. your thighs locked up and your clit throbbed in time with the waves of pleasure cascading through you, pussy gushing slick around eddie’s cock.

“good girl, good fuckin’ girl.” eddie cooed as his thrusts turned sloppy and desperate, cock kicking up against your walls and twitching. “gon’a fill you up now, baby girl.”

your body felt too fucked out to even move, as if it was nothing but liquid within eddie’s hands as he ravaged it with harsh, shallow thrusts. his moans and groans were becoming more guttural, spitting praises and vulgarities into your neck — he was so close, chasing his relief using the sweet velvet of your walls.

“fuckin’ shit — ugh, mmm, baby — get ready, okay? it’s comin’, fuck—!”

eddie thrusted in deep once, then twice, before he stilled and his cock jumped inside your cunt — you could feel his hot seed splatter inside you, painting your insides white and pulling a shiver from your body.

it always felt so good when he busted inside you, and even better when he fucked it deep.

“fuck,” eddie groaned, hips rocking slowly as he rode out the rest of his orgasm, lips quivering against your skin. “feels so good to fill’ya up, angel.”

your eyes fluttered closed as exhaustion slammed into you with harsh force — maybe all those all-nighters were finally catching up to you now that your body had been fucked into relaxation. black was slowly creeping into the corners of your vision.

“tired, sweet girl?” eddie murmured into your ear, humming when you nodded in assent. eddie pressed a sweet, loving kiss to your neck, hands soothing down your sides as he slowly pulled his softening cock from your walls.

“me too,” eddie grunted as he fell beside you on the bed. he snaked his arm around your waist and pulled you into his side, large hand guiding your face to his collarbone. “let’s take a nap, yeah?”

for once, you didn’t fight with him. you’d been studying nonstop for three days. you deserved a break.

and eddie was so warm, and he smelled so nice, and his hand was sliding up and down your arm so soothingly — you couldn’t help that you drifted off within seconds, blissfully unaware of the way eddie adored you as you did so.

[mythalism]

more me verbally processing my feelings on this game and it's story that i sent in discord but i know reading these things can be helpful to others processing so im sharing them here <3

even though i think i personally am able to find coherent meaning in solas's ending, specifically the status of the veil, and i do think its good and i like it, i really have to work to do it. the way its written is kind of confusing because the message is like ok. let go of your regrets. but you also have to atone for your mistakes. but solas believes he is atoning by taking the veil back down and bringing immortality back and making sure more spirits are not turned into demons? but the story tells us that version of atonement is Wrong, but why is it wrong? because people will die? but people also die because of the veil? mages are mass incarcerated and lobotimized bc of the veil, elves have been enslaved for millenia, PEOPLE AGE AND DIE, BECAUSE OF THE VEIL? so he isnt supposed to atone for that mistake by fixing it he's just supposed to accept it and let go? so are we supposed to atone for our mistakes or not? what determines whether or not we need to atone? he has to atone for what he did to the titans but not what he did by accident to his own people i guess? and he is going to atone by maintaining the status quo that he created because people have gotten used to it?

i think the answer based on the regret prison scene with rook escaping with varric's help and that banger line of varric's is to take accountability and own up to your choices, they are yours and no one can take them from you. rook says something to one of the regret statues (for me it was harding) thats like "i made a choice and so did you and you knew the risks" or something so i think that is the key. solas cannot accept his choices and so he is desperate to undo them no matter what kind of harm it may do. he is trapped in regret and the past to the point that he cant accept them and move forward, and varric is the perfect contrast of this with how readily he accepts his death as a consequence of his love and hope for his friend. even mythal accepts her own choices when she tells solas that she turned him from his purpose. and she doesnt apologize or even express regret at all, partly because shes a crazy bitch (affectionate) but partly because i think her quiet, cold acceptance is part of the lesson solas needs to learn in that moment. solas is constantly saying, "im sorry, but", "ir abelas, vhenan, but i cannot". mythal just states her actions plainly; i forced you to take a body, i brought you into war, these burdens are ours to bear together, i release you. no apology, no rumination, she is at peace with her decision even though it is wrong. i think this works wonderfully on a personal individual level of personal regrets. it is a good lesson; regret does not serve any purpose other than to hurt you. it brings no one back, it helps nothing, it does not make the world a better place. solas has to let go of his regrets so that he can become the hero that varric sees deep down in him. it is an essential part of his personal journey as a character... but it gets stickier when we are talking about systemic change. obvi a lot of dragon age's modern, young audience is very much in favor of "tear it all down!!" and i am too but i think with solas they are trying to tell a very personal and individual story of a man and his regrets rather than make a social commentary on radical change, but they also dont make that clear enough, so the two get muddied together when it comes to the question of the veil in a way that feels like they are advocating for maintaining the status quo, which i dont think was their intention.

i think this is so muddied because inquisition very much makes clear commentary on systems and institutions with the chantry, the orlesian empire, ferelden monarchy, mages and templars, and the inquisition itself being all vulnerable to corruption, and solas has a lot to say about all of this and he is very much presented as being right (like when he tells you about the corruption in your own ranks in trespasser and how hes spying on you lol) and then veilguard does not do this AT ALL, all of the issues are very personal ones of people and their identity, people and their family, people and their regrets etc. so i think a lot of us are in this mindset from inquisition of like.... yeah disrupt the status quo install a puppetmaster elf to rule an imperialist empire, make leliana pope and radicalize the chantry even if its bloody, dissolve the inquisition, abolish the circles etc. etc. and the question of the veil is very much an extension of these philosophical questions about systems and organizations. and for those of us who leaned towards dissolution of all of those corrupt structures, dissolution of the veil is the logical conclusion to a story thats sending us that message. but then veilguard just. does not even engage with these topics at all. like its not even a question. it takes the question of the veil and translates it into a personal issue of solas's psyche (which is super interesting, just different) and connects it to his past actions, his relationship with mythal, and his perception of himself, rather than a macro-level question of what is best for the world when pursuing change, and the answer for solas on a personal level ends up being different from the answer that inquisition was asking us, but it feels disjointed as a result.

so the veil staying up was the right decision because it forced solas to let go of his regrets and the game is about him. so it was an exercise in his therapy session with his two ex-gfs and some annoying kid who wont leave him alone. but the problem is it doesn't answer or engage with the greater questions and themes about systemic change that the series has been building up to.

veilguard is interesting because it wants to be dragon age 2 so bad while simultaneously being terrified of dragon age 2. solas bringing down the veil would have been the answer to the question that anders blowing up the chantry asked, but veilguard decided to ask a completely different question instead. and i think it did a good job in that specific goal, but it doesnt satisfy 15 years of build up and instead just throws it out the window in favor of something else.

[nakylvr]

hiiii can I request gp!sophia x fem!reader with angst prompt 1 + smut prompt 10 where basically reader just had a huge fight with her ex bf and went to sophia bc she’s her best friend (that she’s also lowkey really attracted to) and sophia tries to cheer reader up (by fucking her) but she’s really sweet and fluffy during it🫶🏼

(sorry if this doesn’t make any sense but I hope you get what I mean😭english is not my first language💜)

bestie this is so good...you made perfect sense i understood completely 🫶 thank you so much for requesting!

— ALL I WANTED ⚓️

sophia laforteza (katseye) x fem!reader

summary: angst prompt 1("i didn't know where else to go") + smut prompt 10("don't worry, i'll take care of you") from my 100 follower event OR you have a big fight with your boyfriend and break up. going to your best friend sophia, things take a turn by how she "cheers you up"

warnings/tags: language, nsfw content, g!p!sophia, soft dom!sophia, sub!reader, soft sex, lots of praise, unprotected sex, cumming inside

you stood in front of the door of your best friend's apartment. your arms were folded in on yourself, practically hugging yourself as you waited for the door to open. it was cold outside, feeling the chill breeze as you wore merely a thin sweater and leggings. you glance away for a split second, and suddenly the door opens revealing sophia, whose expression quickly goes from happy to concerned at the sight of you.

"oh my god, are you okay?" she immediately questions. "here, come inside. you're probably freezing." she grabs your arm and pulls you inside, closing the door behind you.

"sorry for showing up like this," you apologize quietly as you look down at the ground. "i didn't know where else to go," your voice cracks as you say this.

sophia can instantly tell something is wrong. the first thing being you apologizing when she would never be upset with you for randomly showing up in the middle of the night. second being the way your eyes won't meet hers. and third, the crack in your voice.

"hey, hey," she says softly, placing her hands on your shoulders. "what's wrong? what happened?" her tone is so caring and genuine like she always is with you. she hates seeing you upset to the point of near crying, but she doesn't know how to help if she doesn't know what's wrong.

"it-it's just my boyfriend and i got in a huge fight...he broke up with me and basically kicked me out so...i came here," your voice is quiet as you speak, still not being able to meet her eyes.

sophia's eyes go wide for a second at your answer. but when you finally look at her, eyes filled with tears, her breath hitches in her throat. she can't lie and say she doesn't think this is a blessing in disguise given the fact she's been pining for you for years now, but couldn't do anything with that stupid boyfriend of yours around, cause she does think it. she knows you feel the same, at least she thinks it with the lingering stares you've been giving her more recently and the way you've talked to her lately. she tries to think quickly of what's the best option to do right now, too many different thoughts running through her head as she stares back at you. hesitantly, she moves her hands from your shoulders to cup your face in her hands, seeing the way your eyes subtly widen at her action and hoping she isn't fucking this up. "how about i help cheer you up?"

you're frozen in your spot as sophia asks you the question, and you're not sure how to respond. you don't have a complete understanding of what she's meaning, your mind going in a direction you assume would never happen ever no matter how much you wanted. "what do you mean by that?" you respond quietly.

"whatever you want it to mean," sophia answers in the same voice. "i'm here for anything you need or want."

those words are enough reassurance you need to finally say what you've been wanting to say for a while now. "kiss me," you whisper.

sophia tries to fight the smile that creeps on her face at your reply, but fails miserably as she leans in and closes the gap between you and her. she can taste the remainder of your lipgloss on your lips that you applied earlier in the day, sighing softly against your lips. your arms wrap around her neck, pulling her closer to you before parting from the kiss. your face is inches away from hers, and your fingers play with her hair as you stare into her eyes.

"you're a really good kisser," you murmur. "how were you planning on cheering me up?" you ask next.

"will you let me show you?" sophia responds. "let me take care of you like you deserve." her hands move to your waist, somehow managing to pull you even closer.

"please," you say in a quiet voice.

that's all sophia needs to hear before she's pulling you to her bedroom, kissing you continuously and almost tripping when she hits the bed. she swiftly picks you up and lays you down on the bed, crawling above you and peering down at you. her hands find the hem of your swearer and she looks at you, silently asking for your permission to remove it. you nod your head, and she slowly pulls it up over your head, leaving you in your bra and leggings.

"you're so beautiful," sophia murmurs, her hands drifting up and down your torso. they stop at the waistband of your leggings, her fingers hooking around it and lightly tugging them down your legs and off along with your panties. "you have no idea how much i've wanted this," she says, her eyes wandering over your body, her cock throbbing in her boxers at the sight of you in front of her. she quickly discards her shirt and shorts, leaving her in her boxers that had a wet spot from the precum leaking from her tip. she brings a hand between your legs, fingers dragging along your folds before slowly slipping two into your wet heat.

"s-sophia," you whimper out when she slowly thrusts her fingers in and out of you.

your walls suck her fingers in greedily, making her only want you more as she pulls her fingers out after a few seconds, needing to feel you around her cock. she strips off her boxers, her cock springing out, the head red and dripping beads of precum. supporting herself up with one of her arms near your head, the other holds the base of her length, sliding up and down your dripping pussy, collecting your slick on her tip. "don't worry, i'll take care of you," she tells you softly. "are you ready?"

you nod your head, whimpering at the feeling of her rubbing against you. "yes- please i need you so bad," your voice comes out whinier than you wanted, but you can't find it in you to care seeing the way sophia's eyes darken at your words.

slowly, she pushes inside of you, watching the way your eyes roll back at the size of her filling you up. sophia curses under her breath at your walls squeezing around her tightly, stopping once she was fully in you. "you tell me when you want me to move, okay?" she presses a quick kiss on your lips.

your jaw falls open as you feel her stretching you out, a quiet whimper coming from you when she stops. you nod again at her words, taking a few shallow breaths before speaking. "y-you can move now."

inch by inch, sophia pulls out before sliding back in, the wetness of your pussy making it oh so easy for her to build a slow pace. "you're so pretty," she says, leaning down and kissing you. "god, you're so tight," she hisses against your lips.

quiet moans fall from your lips as she sets a slow pace, almost embarrassed of getting too loud, whimpering at her words as she kisses you. your arms hook around her neck, pulling her closer. parting from the kiss, you breathe heavily as you stare up at her, biting down on your lower lip to try and keep quiet.

sophia's eyes don't leave yours once, keeping eye contact while maintaining her slow pace. she didn't want to get rough with you in your current state, she was happy enough for this to be happening in general. plus, she seriously doubted your dumbass boyfriend gave a fuck about whether you actually came or not. so she was going to make sure you would. "don't be shy, princess," she pushes some of your hair out of your face. "let me hear you, my love. i wanna hear the pretty noises you make."

your face heats up at the realization that she wants to hear you, finally letting go of your lip from your teeth and freely moaning like she wanted. "sh-shit sophia," you whine her name. you're surprised at how slow and gentle the girl above you is being, as if she was worried she would hurt you when you know she would never even think of hurting you once. but, it was nice. she was right, she was making you feel the way you deserved.

hearing her name coming from you in that whiny tone has sophia's cock twitching in you, letting out quiet grunts with her gaze still on you. "how does it feel, baby?" she asks you, genuine. she needs to know she's making you feel good, she needs to hear you say it. she doesn't know how she's keeping up this slow, almost agonizing pace, but seeing your reactions each time she slowly pushes back in is enough for her to keep at it. "tell me how it feels."

"g-good," you manage out through moans. "it fe-feels so g-good- fuck- you're making m-me feel so good," you emphasize on 'you're' so that she knows that she's the only one on your mind. it was true, you couldn't even think about anything else except for the way she feels like this. you didn't even remember why you came here, and you didn't care, either.

"fuck," sophia breathes out at your response. she can tell you've long forgotten why you originally came to her place, and that mixed with you emphasizing that she's the one making you feel this good has her swelling with pride. "you're so beautiful like this. i love you so so much," she mumbles, not realizing the way her words could sound to you.

you can barely process her words, only hearing the 'i love you', and that alone has you clenching tightly around her cock, somehow getting even wetter than you already were. "i lo-love you too- o-oh my god!" your eyes roll back when you feel her tip nudge against your g-spot. "fu-fuck!" you feel tears welling in your eyes as you feel yourself getting closer to cumming.

seeing the tears in your eyes has sophia cooing at you, cupping your cheek with one of her hands and wiping the stray tear that falls. "shh, you're close, yeah?" she says quietly. she slowly speeds up her thrusts just a little bit, pushing so deep into you that she can practically see the outline of her cock bulging from your stomach making her twitch again. "i'm close too- shit!- tel-tell me where you want me," her words are starting to get interrupted by little whimpers escaping her throat as she feels herself get closer.

you nod your head quickly at her question, murmuring out, "ye-yes," through your noises that are getting louder and whinier. her next words have your head spinning to come up with a response. staring up into her eyes as she stares down at you, you know the answer you're going to give. "i-in me, please, i'm o-on the pill, please cum in me, please," you're begging for her in a way that would be embarrassing to you in any other moment, but you can't find it in you to care.

sophia's eyes go wide when you tell her what you want, but she isn't going to deny your requests in any shape or form. "don't worry, my love," she tells you before kissing you, moaning into the kiss and speeding up just a little bit more.

whining her name as she kisses you, you pull her down impossibly closer to you, your bodies practically pressed against each other. your legs wrap around her hips, bringing her even closer to you. pulling out of the kiss, you rest your forehead against hers, looking deeply into her eyes as short breaths and moans of her name leave your mouth. "f-fuck, sophia 'm so close,"

"go on," she pecks your lips quickly. "cum for me, my pretty girl. so pretty for me like this, god," she groans quietly.

after one final thrust, your eyes roll into the back of your head as you cum so hard you end up seeing white, your hands clawing at her back. not even a minute later, sophia is putting her face in your neck and letting out a long drawn-out whine as spurts of her cum fill you up to the brim. she stays there for a moment or two, breathing heavily into your neck before slowly pulling out of you. a whimper falls from your lips at the feeling, your arms still hooked around her neck and holding her close to you.

"do you...really love me in this way?" you whisper quietly.

sophia pulls her face from your neck at your hesitant question, looking down at you and nodding her head. "of course. i just didn't want to do anything while you were with him," she answers truthfully.

you nod slowly, clearly hesitating about asking the next question you were thinking of. "do you want...to be with me?"

there's a look in sophia's eyes that you can't figure out, as if she's struggling with a response. "yes," she says in a quiet voice.

"then i'm yours," you smile at her, moving your hands to cup her cheeks. "i love you."

sophia's face instantly lights up when you speak, a wide smile tugging on her lips. "i love you too, so much."

[apomaro-mellow]

Yall said you wanted more of Victorian steddie cucking Jason so here ya go

Read on AO3

Steve had been distracted and it only got worse as his appointment with Doctor Munson got closer. He had never felt that good before. No omega he’d ever talked to had mentioned that an alpha’s touch could feel like that. He didn’t even know using mouths was an option. Was it strictly a medical procedure? Surely he couldn’t expect his husband to perform that for him. Only a licensed expert should….should…

He clenched his legs together and bit his lip, trying to look like he was present as his husband went over the final preparations.

Jason sighed. “I do wish you didn’t have to see the doctor on the same day as the party. What if you fall ill?”

Steve sighed. “It’s for the best. You want a child, don’t you? One of our very own. And Doctor Munson has been recommended by all our friends.”

Of course, Jason had been the one to seek him out, but when Steve mentioned the name Munson to his own circle, Heather and Carol had nothing but praise for the man’s practice. Carol had even confided in her own struggle to conceive before taking him on as a physician and now she was set to pop any day now.

Before, Steve had chalked it up to a pill or tonic, something that made her and her husband’s attempts more fruitful. But…when he remembered how the doctor had helped him. Now Steve was wondering if Carol’s child would be born with hair darker and curlier than it should be. He wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that but the only way to know more was to get to his appointment.

Jason wouldn’t be joining him for this one, too busy with the last minute details. They were hosting a celebration for Jason’s commendation and Steve hoped he’d be in a jovial mood when it was time to get to bed.

He didn’t even have to spend time in the waiting room when he arrived. Doctor Munson was already in the front room, almost as if he’d been waiting for Steve.

“Mrs. Carver, right on time, follow me.”

Steve did, entering and sitting down on the table as he had the first time. Doctor Munson closed the door behind himself. He started with asking baseline questions. Most of which were easy to answer, as it had only been a week since he had been here last. Nothing much changed except…well…

“And your urges? The ones Mr. Carver was worried about? Did they get any better?”

Steve started to wring his skirt before remembering his manners and straightening it out. “I um, well, yes and uh no?”

Doctor Munson chuckled. “So a solid maybe? Could you elaborate? Are they different from before?”

Steve thought about it. He still felt an ache, a need. But they only came upon him when he thought of-oh.

“The urges used to be directed solely at my husband. But I don’t think about him anymore. Instead I-”

“Instead?”

Steve cleared his throat and turned up his gaze from his lap to the man before. “I’ve been thinking of you.”

The grin that came upon the doctor’s face was both endearing and searing. Steve felt his body get warm and his eyes were drawn to that mouth. He missed entirely what was said next.

“Sorry, what?”

“I said that’s perfectly natural. Your omega desires the one who will care for your needs. Typically it would be your husband. But it’s not uncommon for an omega’s sights to turn to someone else.”

“Oh.” It felt better to hear that it was normal.

“Now, let’s not dither any longer. You have a party to prepare for.”

“Speaking of”, Steve started as the doctor scribbled something down. “I know it’s very last minute, but we would be honored if you attended.”

“Would you now?”

“Of course. If all goes well, we-I’d have you to thank for my child.”

“In that case, I would be honored to attend. Now, onto business. Do you feel that need arising now? When you look at me?”

Steve thought about the times he had admitted to Jason the sort of feelings his husband caused within him; how his husband had recoiled to know his inner thoughts. Steve didn’t want Doctor Munson to be repulsed by him. But if he lied to a physician, what was the point?

So he nodded. “Yes. I am, I mean I do, feel those things.”

Doctor Munson nodded and moved to stand behind Steve. “I’m sure you and Mr. Carver have plans for a more private celebration tonight, yes?”

“Yes. We want to make the most of my appointment today.” He could feel the doctor’s breath against his ear.

“And as I understand it, this will be your first knotting. Being knotted and pupped up, you’re going to experience some changes. It’s time you got acquainted with yourself more than ever before.”

Steve tried to turn to see what he meant but Doctor Munson was already moving, placing a large mirror in front of him. The doctor got behind him again and put his hands on Steve’s waist.

“May you lift your skirts and spread your legs?”

Steve felt his cheeks heat up but obeyed. When all was said and down, his core was exposed to the world. He was only able to glance at his reflection before turning his head away. He was surprised to feel a gentle hand massaging his hip.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of down there.” His hands moved down to Steve’s thighs, slowly making their way inward. “You have a healthy thatch of hairs.” 

His hand cupped Steve then, simply holding him. Steve’s breath got short and yet he felt secure, safe. Doctor Munson hummed, sounding observant and pleased.

“Has your husband ever told you how lovely you are down there?”

Steve’s eyes snapped open, though he wasn’t quite sure when they’d closed. ‘Lovely’? Down there? He turned his head to look at the doctor’s face but he wasn’t even looking at Steve. His eyes were on the mirror. Steve turned his gaze to that and found eyes transfixed on their reflection. Specifically on what was happening….down there. Doctor Munson’s finger was stroking up and down.

“I asked you a question Mrs. Carver. Are you still lucid?”

“He’s never-n-never said that about me, um, rather about that part of me.”

Doctor Munson tutted. “Husbands aren’t always the best at expressing themselves, I’m afraid. But I’m sure he must think so. Beautifully pink in color. And the shine.” He took in a deep breath in the same moment that Steve breathed out. He pushed a finger in, a low growl coming from him as he watched it get sucked in.

“All alphas owe their lives to this. It’s a pity they don’t always know how to show appreciation. So allow me to tell you - the way you could take a knot is divine.” He pushed a second finger inside. “And the way this same part can pass through a child, bringing new life into the world, is godly.”

Steve’s hips shifted but he fought to keep them still. In his mind he could hear Jason reprimanding him. And he could also hear his governess telling him that good omegas stayed perfectly still so their alpha could complete the deed without interruption.

“Don’t fight your instincts.”

“B-but I-I was told-”

“Your body knows what it needs. And if your mate hasn’t given it to you right away, use your body to tell him what that is.” To prove his point, Doctor Munson stilled his hand.

Steve couldn’t help the whine from the back of his throat. His hips squirmed without any coordination for a few moments before he was able to find some kind of rhythm and he watched through the mirror. Watched as those deft fingers moved in and out of him.

“That’s it, Mrs. Carver. Just like that.”

“Steve. You can-that is to say-you may call me by my first name.”

“In that case, you may also drop the formalities with me. Those close to me know me by Eddie.”

“Eddie”, Steve sighed, trying it out. It certainly felt more intimate than calling him by ‘Doctor Munson’. And right now, he didn’t want to be known as ‘Mrs. Carver’.

“You’re doing wonderfully Steve. You produce slick like a master and your scent is perfectly enticing. You can take a good stretching”, he said, a third finger slipping inside. “And then there’s this little button.” His other hand pulled at the top of his mound.

After his first appointment, Steve had been curious. He had thought to look but could never quite gather the nerve to look for long or do any true exploration. But he remembered where he had felt Eddie’s tongue that sent jolts of lightning through his body.

“Do you know what this part of you is for?”

Steve shook his head. Hole was for the alpha and then later the pup to come through. Everything else was a mystery that only men in medicine knew. He watched with hungry eyes as Eddie finally touched it, just with the tip of his finger and still he reached up and clung to the sleeve of the doctor’s coat. 

“Do you understand now?”

“Wha? Mmn, what?”

“Pay attention, Steve”, Eddie reminded gently. He touched the small nub again and this time Steve paid attention to his own reaction. Not just how it felt good but what his body actually did in response to it. How his hips lifted to meet the touch, how he tightened around Eddie’s fingers, and how more slick came from him.

“Do you see now?”, Eddie asked. “Most will ignore it but this part of you is important too.” He used the hand not currently in Steve to spread his slick around. “It will make you clench around your alpha. That, combined with his knot, will make sure none of his seed leaks out. An evolutionary advantage, back from the days where an omega could be taken by any alpha. It made certain that even if that happened, a bonded omega would already be pupped by the one of their choosing.”

His fingers started to thrust deep into Steve while the ones on his other hand rubbed quick circles. Steve’s head came to rest on his shoulder, mouth agape and eyes rolling back. His husband was most definitely the last thing on his mind right now.

“That’s it Steve, let go. Just feel. An alpha should consider this his honor, his sacred duty.”

Steve found it hard to believe any alpha would feel that way but certainly Eddie must. He was focused on his mission and nothing else. And Steve felt that delicious heat build up in him again just like last time. Then he felt Eddie nuzzle at his neck. His high collar kept from any pure skin contact, but it made him burn all the same. Eddie buried his nose on the side of his mating bite.

A clear challenge to the alpha who had already bitten him.

Steve opened his eyes in time to see himself put Eddie’s fingers in a death grip and watch everything down there pulse in time with the waves of pleasure that crashed through him. This time, instead of washing his hands, Eddie brought his slick-soaked fingers to his mouth and cleaned them off with his tongue.

“What time is that party?”

For the evening’s events, Steve changed his gown to something more celebratory. It showed his neck and parts of his shoulders and collarbone. But of course, his bond bite was hidden under a choker, as was custom. The only omegas who went without were those without a bite to show. Steve had spent the better part of the evening distracting himself with idle talk.

Eddie hadn’t arrived yet and it made Steve’s thoughts wander. Did he help out all omegas the same way? Was Steve just next in a long line of conquests? Eddie had never offered Steve anything but his medicinal techniques and yet he was clearly challenging Jason. And Jason didn’t even know it.

Jason said nothing about Eddie’s scent on him when he returned home, though Steve was sure he must be able to smell it. He washed himself before the party just to be sure.

And speaking of the party, it was going swimmingly, he had to admit. Everyone was enjoying themselves and Jason had his chest puffed out all night. It made Steve anticipate their bed all the more. When it was time to dance, Steve took his husband’s hand and followed his lead. Dancing for him was an excuse to have his alpha’s hands on him in public. Jason always kept a respectable distance though. Sometimes more than respectable. 

After one dance, they moved to the side. Steve could have danced more but sometimes it felt like Jason only wanted to touch him when necessary. Jason conversed with some of the other men, Steve loyally at his side when someone tapped his bare shoulder.

“Eddie?”

“Apologies for my late arrival.”

“‘Eddie’?”, Jason echoed.

“I would like to make the most of what time I have left in the party. So if I may impose, may I have the hostess’ for this next dance?”

Steve was tempted to take Eddie’s hand even without his husband’s approval. But he still looked to Jason, hoping he didn’t look too eager.

“You have my permission, doctor.”

Eddie took Steve’s hand and led him to the dance floor. He didn’t wear his white coat and his hair wasn’t pulled up like in his office. Instead, it fell over the shoulders of his dark jacket. Eddie nodded to Carol and Steve was reminded that she was one of his patients. Eddie brought him into a dancer’s hold so close that their chests rose and fell against each other.

“Carol is due any day now”, Steve commented as they swayed to the music.

“And glowing with the pride of it. Mr. Hagan must be proud.”

“I’m sure they appreciated your help. Carol was so worried before conceiving.”

“And that worry was stress that made it all the more difficult for their family to grow. It seems they’re doing quite well now.”

“Do you help all omegas in the same way?”, Steve ventured to ask.

Eddie grinned. “Each person who passes through my practice requires different care. I don’t normally gossip about specifics, but for the Hagans, I simply coached Mr. Hagan through some bedroom techniques. Mr. Wheeler simply needed a tonic for vitality. But you, Steve…”

His gaze got intense and Steve realized he could scent him for the first time. It made sense for doctors to cover their scent, otherwise it could unease a patient. But this was a social event and Eddie had no need to hide his cinnamon and cloves scent.

“Yes?”

“I knew I had to assist you by any means necessary. And if that meant I was allowed to touch…to taste…”

Steve’s body grew warm. “Tonight-”

“I’ll be waiting.”

“But Jason-”

“Will be taken care of. He is still your husband. And I intend to respect his claim over you. But you deserve a pup. You deserve to hear a child’s laughter in your halls and to be someone’s mother.”

“Eddie”, Steve sighed, not even realizing how close their bodies were pressed until the musicians changed the tune.

Their bodies separated and Steve was returned to his husband. Steve fanned himself and used the dance as an excuse as to why he was slightly flushed, not that Jason acknowledged it beyond a sneer. As the party began to wind down, Steve noticed his husband was more intoxicated than usual. He became worried about what this meant for the night and his suspicions were proven correct.

Their guests had gone home and the married couple dressed for bed. Jason needed help getting into his gown and he was in bed while Steve was still sitting at his vanity, brushing his hair.

“Jason? Jason?”, Steve called out, going over to his side of the bed. “Don’t you remember tonight?”

“He’s just about passed out”, Eddie’s voice sounded from the door, causing Steve to whip around.

“You’re here.”

“I said I would be.” Eddie shrugged his coat off. 

“Here? Now?”, Steve asked his heart rabbiting.

“Yes”, Eddie nodded. “He won’t wake until morning. But the scent you make and the sounds you produce should reach his subconscious mind and make him more susceptible to you.”

“You’ll give me a pup? Tonight?”, Steve put a hand to his chest, trying to calm his heart.

“I promised it to you and your husband. And I am a man of my word.” Eddie closed the distance between them and cradled Steve’s face, illuminated only by moonlight, then kissed him sweetly.

It was a different kind of kiss than what Steve was used to. Barely there pecks. This was like a thunderstorm after a drought. Eddie’s hands smoothed down Steve’s neck, around his waist, and then settled on his hips. Steve’s hands stayed perfectly still at his side. When Eddie pulled back, he took Steve’s hand and guided him to the other side of the bed where he normally laid. Steve laid down on his back.

His heart had just calmed down but it picked up again as Eddie undressed himself fully. Steve’s legs trembled, fighting between the instinct to spread and show himself and his learned behavior of keeping his legs shut. But he remembered the alpha’s words just that morning. He was allowed to give in to his instincts. So he not only spread, but he pulled the hem of his nightgown up and over his knees, exposing himself to the room. 

“There it is, just as gorgeous as always”, Eddie praised, coming onto the bed.

Steve thought he should feel more shame. Or more reservations. He was letting another alpha take him while his real husband and mate slumbered right next to them. But Jason benefited from this too. Eddie started to kiss his thighs and Steve just about forgot the presence of his husband. He felt warm breath on his loins and covered his mouth before he could cry out. Then a hand came up to pull it away.

“Mr. Carver needs to hear you. He needs to associate your sounds with satisfaction.”

“But I’ve never…”

Eddie licked a stripe up his core, eliciting a sound somewhere between a hiccup and a gasp from Steve. “The more you allow yourself to feel, the better chance you have at conceiving.”

Steve’s lips parted and he allowed short breaths. Then Eddie’s tongue started to draw circles and whimpers fell from him. He thought he’d be more scared of Jason waking up. He turned his head to see his husband on his back, appearing almost dead to the world. Then Eddie blew cold air onto his hot flesh and Steve jolted, a sharp cry coming from him. Jason shifted, turning on his side now so that he was face to face with Steve.

That only stoked the flames in Steve’s body and he felt himself get more wet. Eddie hummed, seeming pleased at his reaction.

“You feel good and you want your alpha to know that.” He rose up and kissed Steve’s chest through his gown while rubbing a finger against his slit. He pressed the first one in and released a low rumble, pleased at how easily it slipped in. His lips found Steve’s neck, the unbitten side, and sucked a mark into it.

“Alpha”, Steve moaned softly, arms winding around Eddie.

Eddie got him to three fingers like before and then pulled them out. Steve’s eyes fluttered as he felt the head finally slip in. One hand fell from Eddie, needing to grip something and that ended up being Jason’s nightgown. Steve could feel his husband’s chest rise and fell while Eddie sunk deeper and deeper into him. His mouth fell open and every indecent sound he had held back all these years were set free as Eddie thrust in and out.

Every touch was true to Eddie’s words from earlier. He considered it a privilege and an honor to be allowed to do this. Steve felt something else begin to push up against him and realized in euphoria that it was a knot. He was going to be knotted, he was going to be filled and thoroughly seeded and it would finally take root and turn into a beautiful life.

When it popped into him, he could hear Eddie growl into his ear. Eddie bit into his shoulder and Steve saw stars.

Jason didn’t stir until morning came. He sat up, head still swimming from the previous night. He rubbed his temples and slowly stood up from the bed. It was only then that he noticed Doctor Munson sitting in a chair on the other side of the room.

“What are you-?!”

“Shh”, Eddie put a finger to his lips. “Watch your volume. Your wife is still resting.”

Jason looked down to see that Steve was very much still asleep. “Why are you here?”

“Mr. Carver when a patient puts their trust in me, I see it through to the end. And I must say, you performed quite well last night. As I was able to observe, Mrs. Carver was properly knotted.”

Jason’s brow furrowed. He didn’t want to say that he had no recollection of that. But he truly remembered nothing after collapsing into bed. Eddie stood and walked over to the bed. He was fully clothed, excluding his coat and hat.

“The proof is right here.” Eddie pulled the blanket back and then lifted Steve’s gown. He then very gently spread his legs. “His amount of slick is proof of a coupling. But if you look very closely, not a single drop of your spend is on the outside. I say not even a textbook would have a more perfect illustration.”

Steve shifted and Eddie covered him back up. Jason swallowed, feeling challenged and yet now knowing why.

“So it is done?”

“Conception should be complete, yes. But your journey has only just begun. We can discuss it more later. But I recommend that Steve visits my office regularly from now on. Perhaps every two weeks or so.”

Jason watched as Doctor Munson put his coat back on and then his hat. “Um, yes, very good. Thank you, doctor.”

“My pleasure, Mrs. Carver”, Eddie smirked.

tbc?

[mind-intheclouds342]

Do it for them - Co-captain reader x Curly

Previous - Part 17 - Next

You were looking at the table with your cup of coffee in front of you.

So... calm...

You could think before hearing the loud bang.

You immediately got up running, worried to know that the hallway from where that was coming was where he was locked up.

Your heart almost stopped for a second when you saw the door to his room wide open.

Swansea lying on the floor unconscious.

What alarmed you the most was that he didn't have his axe with him.

Daisuke: "What happened?!"

He ran to the scene. While you were searching Jimmy's room from top to bottom, making sure he wasn't there.

"Stay with Swansea and lock yourselves in Jimmy's room! At least he won't be able to get in there! Now! Now!"

You helped Daisuke move Swansea to the room and closed the door once they were both inside.

You ran through the hallways to head directly to the nursery, hoping to arrive before him since it wasn't locked because you no longer felt the need to close it.

The baby's cry made you realize that you had arrived too late.

Anya: "GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!"

The woman was holding a chair from that place, the baby was crying loudly lying alone on the bed, Curly was watching from his stretcher, breathing heavily.

Jimmy: "I just want to talk to the captain, get out of my way."

He had the axe in hand, he looked completely out of his mind.

The moment you saw him raise the axe, you drew the gun from your uniform, took off the safety, and the first thing you did was aim for his head.

To quickly lower your aim and shoot behind his knee, making him scream and fall to the ground in an instant.

You immediately jumped on him to pin him to the ground, kicking the axe out of his reach.

You saw him open his mouth and didn't hesitate to put the gun against his cheek.

"You don't have the right to say a single word."

He fell silent upon feeling the metal against his face, looked around the room, and fixed his eyes on Anya, who for the first time held the baby to try to make her stop crying.

As soon as Anya picked her up, she immediately left the room; she didn't want to be near that man, and the need to keep an innocent creature away from such a monster gave her the strength to carry the baby and leave with her.

You were soon alarmed by several footsteps, and when you looked at the door, you sighed seeing the rescue team, feeling tranquility after such a long time.

They first took care of Curly, followed by Jimmy for the wound in his leg, and then soon continued with Anya and the baby. She had to give a testimony about the events in order to press charges against Jimmy, the baby being her strongest evidence.

You had to get Swansea and Daisuke out of the room where they had hidden, they took the older one to make sure he was okay, he was still just unconscious from the blow to the head he received when he was thrown to the ground.

You sat next to Daisuke in the rescue ship, staring at the floor distractedly.

The boy placed his hand on your shoulder, making you turn to look at him slowly.

Daisuke: "You saved us, you did it"

You felt how he hugged you and rested his head on your shoulder, feeling your uniform soak with his tears.

Daisuke: "We're going back home..."

A few men interrupted you to ask for your testimonies so they could finish their report on the trip and the inconveniences you encountered.

You didn't even know how you were able to answer all the questions they asked you, your mind was on autopilot, responding monotonously until they let you go.

"Is everything really going to be how it was before?"

You asked Curly, sitting next to him, they had changed the bandages again, his wounds disinfected and carefully treated, he no longer bled constantly, he had an intravenous line, and his bed was much more comfortable than the stretcher he had been on before.

"Of course not..."

You rested your face on his chest, hiding there, feeling his arm resting on your back.

"Can I tell you something?...It's...Very important"

He made a hum and waited for you to tell him what you had in mind.

You leaned closer to his ear to whisper what you wanted, he looked at you for a few seconds somewhat puzzled, but soon seemed happy as he let out a pained chuckle, nodding his head.

You hugged him gently, nothing was going to be the same as before, but you were going to do everything possible to ensure that at least everyone would be happy after such a tragedy.

[mr-ys-phantasma]

🌙 Moon Phases 🌙

Agatha Harkness X Fem!reader

Word Count: 1493

Chapter 35:

Jen helped keep Lilia focused on the present and not let her mind wander or get distracted by anything that might slow them down.

Those swords were still hanging above, and everyone doubted would remain there if you kept losing time.

As if the room had heard your thoughts, the ceiling slowly started to go down; bringing the swords closer and closer to you.

"We didn't even put any cards down!" Agatha shouted, glaring at practically anything.

The road was starting to get on her nerves.

"Maybe no cards are as bad as the wrong ones." Billy suggested.

You looked at Lilia again, who seemed for a moment to be lost somewhere else; her mid wandering off to a different memory of the past.

You grabbed both her shoulders and shook her faintly. "Lilia! Focus on me!" You shouted, trying to bring her back to the present. You were not sure what was going on, but now it was neither the time nor the place to question her. "We need your Tarot Expertise"

Wasting no time, Lilia walked towards the table; her eyes immediately falling on the cards both Billy and Agatha had put down.

"Who massacred this spread?" The old witch questioned, making the two culprits point a finger at one another.

You held back a chuckle at the scene, and if you were not racing against time to avoid impalement; you would have definitely enjoyed the moment more.

But alas, your time was ticking, and there wasn't exactly any true indication of how long you had before the trial was over.

"Who's the querent?" Lilia asked next, looking at her coven.

Billy looked around at the women for a moment. "You mean the subject? Me. I guess I'm the queer-ent." He was amused by his own bad joke, but the smile disappeared as quick as it came the moment you slapped the back of his head.

He turned to look at you, one hand placed against the spot you had smacked him; lips parted in a theatrical hurtful expression.

"Now it's not the time for pun jokes," you reminded him, surprising the teenager with the fact that you knew what a pun was in the first place. "Just get your reading so we can get out of here,"

You almost pushed him towards one of the chairs and forced him to sit, as Lilia took the seat across and grabbed the deck before passing it to him.

"The querent shuffles and cuts." She informed as the coven gathered around.

Agatha rolled her eyes. "Lilia, we don't have time for this."

"Shuffles and cuts," she repeated stubbornly. Billy immediately obliged. "Now, please ask your question."

Of course, nothing could go smoothly as Jen and Agatha started to argue again; honestly making you wonder if they also had some sort of former romantic relationship.

Their arguments were not helping with the situation, pressuring Billy more and taking time from the reading.

The two witches continued and dragged Lilia with as tried to defend the rules of the Tarot to Agatha; who clearly had no respect for this particular witchy art.

It was only you who noticed the swords coming down once again, the roof slowly approaching as your end was getting nearer and nearer with each passing second.

"Ladies," you called then out, hoping to stop them while refusing to take your eyes off the swords; fearing if you did, one would kill you in the next second. "Ladies!" You called louder, hoping to be heard above their arguing and the mechanism pulling down the sword covered roof.

Billy was watching all this time, seeing the swords coming down and no one able to help; cause this was on him. At that moment of thrill and worry, at the face of certain death; he dared to ask the one question he had deep within his heart.

The very same question he feared to even think feared to get any answers to.

"Am I William, or am I Billy?" He asked, practically shouting above the noise.

"That's a very good question," Lilia said with a gentle smile, knowing in most detail of his feelings on the topic; considering he did take over the body ofna dead boy and pretended to be someone else's son. "This is the Safe Passage spread," she continued explaining and pulled out the first card. "The first card is you, the Traveller. Next comes What's Missing, the reason for your quest. Here is the Path Behind, wounds suffered, lessons learned. Here is the Path Ahead, a space for growth and discovery. Of course, you will face obstacles preceding a potential windfall. Uou must overcome all to reach your destination."

As Llia explained each card placement on the spread and what would represent depending on the card, Jen, you, and even Agatha were listening intensely; equally drawn by Lilia's words.

Jen was the first to notice that Agatha was actually paying attention for once and did not seem ready to comment, which was odd for her.

"What, no snide remarks?" Jen teased, always in the mood to try and rub some salt on Agatha's wounds and prove her wrong.

Of course, Agatha was not going to make it any easier for her. She kept her chin up. "Made sense to me."

You rolled your eyes, cleared your throat, and moved to stand between the two women. "If you two are done. Time is ticking, and this is Billy's reading, not yours. "

Being called out like that and realizing you were making a valid point, they just mumbled under their breaths, but the two witches did not dare to continue their little quarell.

You looked at Lilia, who nodded faintly in appreciation for stopping the noisy duo from interrupting any further. You replied with a head nod of your own, though you could still not shKs the feeling that something was off.

The Tarot Cards were definitely Lilia's trial, and yet the questions were about Billy's Path. It just didn't click right in your mind, simply because this was not how the trials worked.

Each trial circled around a deep fear for each member, a fear they had to face, and a challenge that needed to be overcome as a coven.

So, if it was Lilia's trial, why was there nothing about her journey in the cards? Why the sudden focus on Billy?

While you were contemplating those questions in your mind, Lilia proceeded to draw two cards for Billy; the Magician and the Sun.

Yet both those cards did not seem to please the trial, for the swords changed and one landed top close to Jen; causing her to grab your upper arm subconsciously as she moved more into your personal space.

That was not something that Agatha liked, evident by her hard glare towards the Potions Witch; envy and jealousy flashing in her blue eyes... when she noticed.

The swords shaking and as she dared to focus on one, she saw it detaching from whatever invisible string was held; heading straight for Lilia.

In a surprising act of selflessness, Agatha tackled Lilia off the chair and to the ground; just as the sword pierced her chair.

An involuntary gasp left your lips, and your hands covered your mouth, eyes wide at the near death experience that you just witnessed. If Agatha had been a second slower or if she hadn't managed to push Lilia down with the first try...

You shook your head, trying not to think about the outcome.

Instead, you simply stood there and watched as Agatha was forced off; Lilia clearly fought her despite the magicless witch trying to explain that she had just saved her life.

Once both women were up again, you passed a hand over your hair; having almost forgotten the odd but rather unique crown of ice on your head.

"Something we did was wrong... there is no other explanation, " you commented, trying to ease your beating heart.

Jen looked at you. "Yeah, but what are we doing wrong?!" She asked, her tone elevated as she was getting equally stressed. "We followed damn Tarot Rules, Lilia doing the reading as is her trial. So what do we do wrong?"

Jen's words seemed to trigger something within Lilia's mind as she started to realise everything. Her time slips, the random flashes she would get a those years... it all slowly started to make sense.

And she finally had an answer.

"Because he is not the Querent," she suddenly said as she sat at the edge of the chair; unbothered by the sword that had almost impaled her and made her one Vlad the Impaler victims. "I am. This is my reading"

And with those words, she stopped shuffling and cut. Her fingers touched the first card, and her mind's eye immediately got a time flash; the name of the card was known to her before she even turned it.

"The Queen of Cups"

Chapter 36

[fluentmoviequoter]

Always Time for You

Requested Here!

Pairing: David 'Deacon' Kay x fem!reader

Summary: After you move to Los Angeles to escape an abusive relationship, you meet Deacon Kay and fall in love. When your ex arrives in Los Angeles, you have to tell someone, but don't want to worry Deacon.

Warnings: former abusive relationship, depictions of domestic violence, abuse, angst, fluff and comfort (none of the SWAT men do anything abusive, it's an ex!)

Word Count: 2.5k+ words

Masterlist Directory | Deacon Kay Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

The trip across the country is long and slow, each day spent holding your bruised cheek out of view and looking over your shoulder. You promise not to let your guard down when you finally reach Los Angeles. Surrounded by high rises and over 4 million people to blend in with, it would be easy to think you’re safe. But you know better.

Your little apartment in a quiet corner miles from downtown is nice, if not lonely. As you create a new life, you’re unbothered by the solitude, too concerned with being safe than having friends.

And then, in a moment, all of it changes.

1 Year Later

“Excuse me,” someone says behind you.

You flinch when a gloved hand raises beside you, then step out of the way and apologize to the officer. He nods once, then joins his team on the other side of the road. The police presence in your neighborhood today is too familiar. The last time you saw this many cops in one place. It was because you called them, and they barely made it in time.

Another approaching siren pulls you from your memory, and you step back from the curb. Something stops you, a feeling that going home would not be the right choice.

One of the SWAT officers looks at you and points in your direction. You freeze, remembering the officer who asked Well, did you tell him to stop? You provoked him; you shouldn’t do that if you already know what he’s like. When you look up again, two officers are walking toward you. Chewing the inside of your bottom lip, you hope they’ll walk past you.

“Hi, I’m Sergeant Deacon Kay, LAPD SWAT,” the officer who walked past you earlier says. “Do you live around here?”

“I do,” you answer softly.

“Would you mind answering a few questions?” the other officer, whose nametag says Street, asks.

“Sure,” you agree. “If I can.”

Deacon pulls a picture from his pocket, a folded piece of paper that he straightens before asking, “Have you seen this car around here?”

You lean closer, fighting against your memories, and answer, “I saw it last night. It sat across the street with its lights on from around 8 until midnight.”

“What made you notice it?” Street asks.

“The lights,” you explain. “When it turned, they lit up my living room, then didn’t go off.”

“Left around midnight, you said?” Deacon clarifies. You nod, and he points east to ask, “That way?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Thanks for your help.”

They step back, and you ask, “Um, is it safe? Will he be back or is there anything I should be worried about?”

Deacon smiles and assures, “It’s safe. We’re going to get him.”

As he joins Street to return to Black Betty, Street asks, “We don’t know that; we’ve been looking for two days.”

“And we’ll find him today.”

The next night, someone knocks on your door, and you tiptoe across the room to look through the peephole. When you see Sergeant Deacon Kay, you open the door but hold it as you look at him.

“Hi,” he greets. “I just wanted to let you know we caught him.”

You sigh and whisper your gratitude.

“And… I came to ask you out.”

Smiling, you nod, and for once, you don’t think about your last relationship and let yourself hope for something new, something better.

1 Year Later

“Good morning,” you greet as you answer the phone.

“It is now,” Deacon replies. “How are you?”

“I’m better now.”

You open the door to leave for work but stop when you see a package on your doormat. Deacon says something, but the words across the top of the box are familiar, too familiar. You squat to see it better; the We’re back note is split by the box pulling open. You lift the flap with one finger and see a rope curled tightly inside, with two knots to form hand restraints. You jerk backward, falling onto the floor as you scramble from the box. Your phone hits the floor, and Deacon yells as you reach for it.

“Hey,” you breathe, staring at the box. “I’m okay, sorry, I got startled and dropped my phone.”

“Everything okay?” Deacon asks.

“Yes,” you lie. “Everything is fine.”

“Then I’ll see you tonight. Have a good day.”

“You, too.”

When you reach your car, a pack of matches is tucked under the windshield wipers, and you throw them into the backseat before slamming the door closed and locking it. Someone is close, and the fear you thought you’d left behind hits you like a train when you realize who it is.

Deacon knocks on your door an hour before your date, but he’s still in his uniform.

“I’m so sorry,” he begins. “I have to work overtime, for- for a while. I’m not sure when I’ll have time to make it up to you, but I will. I promise I will.”

“It’s okay,” you assure him. “Be safe and call me when you can.”

Deacon leans in, ignorant of how your muscles tense before he touches you. He kisses your cheek, whispers another apology, and leaves. As he drives away, you see a knife tucked behind the plant by your door. Rather than spend the extra time with the door open to look at it, you close and lock it. Your breaths grow heavy as your chest tightens, but you have no proof that he’s nearby. You can’t tell the police, and Deacon will get stressed with overtime, so you have to wait for this to pass on its own.

The following week, almost ten days after the first box arrived, you call in sick to work. Sitting in your living room, you watch the front window. You can see your porch and car. By noon, you haven’t seen anyone. Slowly, you open the door, and there’s a boxing glove on the first step, with what looks like dried blood across where the wearer’s knuckles would be. You feel a pressure building in your eyes and know that the terror you experience will kill you from the inside if you don’t tell someone or do something.

“Where are you?” you whisper brokenly, looking across the street but seeing nothing.

Your car catches your attention, a baseball bat propped against the back door, and a spray-painted X marking your door. You know the paint will draw attention, so you find a sponge and car wash in your storage closet before you hesitate at the door. If he was close enough to do this without being seen, he’s close enough to do something to you.

You set the cleaning supplies down and take your phone from your pocket. Scrolling past Deacon’s contact, you text someone else and then sit by the door, staring out the window as you wait for him to arrive.

“Whoa, what’s going on?” Luca asks when he sees your blotchy cheeks and blood on your palms, crescent-shaped marks created by digging your nails into your palm.

“He’s here,” you confide in him, struggling to breathe evenly. “Luca, he’s so close.”

“Who?” Luca asks, taking your wrists and looking into your eyes. “Who is he?”

“My ex, he- he hurt me, Luca, and  now he’s here. There’s been knives, matches, rope… he keeps leaving stuff he used to use.”

“Use?” Luca repeats, his voice dropping. “To… to hurt you?”

You nod, then press against his forearms to plead, “You can’t tell Deacon. He’s so stressed with the overtime; I haven’t even talked to him in a week.”

“He needs to know.”

“No, no, Luca, promise that you won’t tell him. I’ll tell you if anything changes or if I actually see him, but I had to tell somebody.”

Luca hesitates, then nods. “Have you seen anything?”

“No,” you admit, dropping your head as a tear rolls over your cheek. “Just the stuff. And the notes… they sound like him, but they don’t look like his handwriting. What am I supposed to do, Luca?”

Luca shakes his head and pulls you into a hug. It’s not the same comfort you can get from Deacon. The realization that you can’t do anything until he’s close enough to see increases your terror to let you finally cry.

Three days after confiding in Luca and thanking him with dinner for cleaning your car, you decide to visit Deacon at the station. You must see him, so you steel your nerves and open the front door. A small pile of weapons and notes is built against your door, and it topples as you step out. You rush to your car and don’t take the time to remove anything from the windshield until you stop at a gas station a block from the station. Shoving the notes, matches, and short length of heavy chain into the trashcan without more than a glance, you hope that Deacon has time to talk. You won’t tell him anything, but you will ask for one of his hugs that make everything better.

As you round your trunk, a truck speeds in behind you. Suddenly, your arms are gripped tightly, and someone pulls you back quickly. Someone else pulls black fabric over your head, and you are shoved into the back of a car before you can think to scream.

“Not a word,” a man says, pushing a cold gun barrel against your ribs.

“We’ll do it,” Deacon offers. “Luca and I can drive by the residence in an unmarked car and bring back a report of what we can see.”

“Do it,” Hicks replies. “Go the long way around, check gas stations and restaurants in the area, too. We need to find her.”

Deacon leads Luca to his unmarked Charger, and Deacon takes the driver’s seat. As they drive toward the suspect’s residence, Deacon stops at a red light beside a gas station.

“Isn’t that your girlfriend’s car?” Luca asks, pointing to a gas pump.

Deacon’s brow furrows as he puts the car into reverse and backs into the station lot. He parks behind your vehicle, and he and Luca walk alongside it, then look over the top at each other.

“I’ll check inside,” Luca offers as Deacon dials your number.

“Thanks,” Deacon replies.

Your phone goes to voicemail, and Deacon looks down in time to see the screen light up in the center console. Luca runs out of the convenience store and calls, “Deac, get in here!”

Deacon runs into the store, and Luca asks the employee to play the security footage again. They watch as three men take you, and Luca takes a shaky breath before he says, “Deacon, there’s something you should know.”

“Time to go home,” one of the men in the car coos.

You stiffen, scared that by home he means they’ll hand you over to your ex. The car lurches to a stop, and you slam into the back of the seat before two sets of hands steady you.

“Well, look who it is.”

Shifting, you try to block out your ex’s voice, but knowing he can see you while you can’t see him makes your heart race and your chest tighten painfully. When he slips his hand under your fabric hood and runs his fingers along your jaw, you jerk backward. The man beside you shoves you forward so your hood can be ripped off.

“Don’t do that again,” your ex demands lowly, holding your jaw tightly.

You look around, hoping to see someone else around who can help you.

“You know the police couldn’t help before.”

“We did what you asked,” the man driving says.

“And? You’ll get paid when I pay you.”

With the distraction, you lean away from your ex. He slides his fingers into your hair when he notices the distance, pulling you forward by the roots. You gasp at the pain, but when you’re shoved out of the car and fall at his feet, suddenly, you’re the same scared girl you were before you ran. There is no escape, and no one knows to look for you.

“Gas pedal is on the right, Street!” Deacon yells from the backseat.

“We’ll get there,” Street promises, remaining patient even as he faces Deacon’s anger and fear. “We need the surprise.”

Deacon’s leg bounces as they approach the tradeoff spot in the note they found from your ex to the men who snatched you at the gas station. Your safety is the priority, but Deacon knows Hondo is worried about what he’ll do to your ex.

“I’m getting her out of there,” Deacon says. “You focus on the criminals stupid enough to email each other with their plans.”

“You got it,” Hondo responds. “Stay liquid.”

As they pull into the parking lot, Street parks by a fence where they can see the black SUV from the gas station and a grey Chevelle beside it. Street exits the driver’s seat in his civilian clothes and waves to the man standing at the back of the SUV.

“Hey, man! I’m trying to get to the road with the stars, uh, Walk of Fame or something? This city is so confusing, can you tell me where to go?” Street calls.

“Yeah,” the man replies, turning so Street can see him. “Away from here.”

Someone groans, and Street says, “Yeah, sure. You okay?”

“Better than you’ll be if you don’t go.”

Street puts his hands up, then smiles. “You’re not very observant.”

Luca and Hondo approach the car from the other side with their guns raised. As they yell commands, three men surrender and move to the side, but your ex remains beside you.

“Step back,” Street demands, moving directly behind him. “These guys have a bet going on how quickly I’ll get impatient today. I’m thinking about letting one of them win. Walk toward my voice.”

“You always were treated like you’re more important than you are,” your ex tells you. “Same cop,” he muses, looking at Luca. “No one wants you.”

“Yep, I’m impatient,” Street decides. He holsters his gun, grabs his collar, and hauls him backward.

As your ex hits the concrete, he begins fighting, so Street drags him across the rocky surface while Deacon rushes to your side. You hear Hondo radioing for backup but focus on Deacon as he kneels beside you.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

You nod and sit up carefully. Leaning against Deacon, you hug him tightly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Deacon asks softly, brushing his thumb over a bruise on your jaw.

“You were already working overtime, and honestly… I thought I was going crazy,” you admit. “He was leaving stuff and notes, but I never saw him, so I didn’t know.”

“Babe, I always have time for you,” Deacon assures you. He kisses your forehead and adds, “Especially if you’re in danger.”

“He… I moved to LA because of him,” you whisper. “He hurt me. A lot.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you had to deal with all of this alone, but you can tell me. Please tell me.”

“I will,” you promise. “I’ll tell you everything.”

“I love you.”

“I love you. I miss you.”

“I’m done with overtime; I’m coming home with you.”

You don’t argue, giving in to your craving for Deacon’s safety and comfort. He’ll always be with you, have time for you, and love you through everything and with all of your scars.

[adhd-community]

i'm hyperverbal, and my partner is easily overwhelmed by too much talking. i have a hard time even processing a thought until i've said it out loud, though. if i don't talk myself through it, i just get stuck and say nothing. not to mention, i have a hard time deciding what's actually worth saying out loud until i've said it. how can i talk to my partner while,,, talking less?

It's all about finding ways to exist together that support both of your needs. I am reading that your partner has noted they find a lot of chat overwhelming and you tend to chat a lot and struggle to know when or how to stop/start (somehow I identify with both of these...).

The first two questions are:

What is it that your partner finds overwhelming? Too many thoughts verbalised too quickly? The noise? Trying to follow the conversation? Do the reasons change from time to time?

Why are you chatting? Are you looking for connection? Reassurance? Is it accidental? Do these reasons sometimes change?

Understanding yourself and each other can be REALLY helpful in these situations in order to work out what will meet both your needs.

Finally for some hypertalkitivity tips, some things that have helped me in the past with situations like these are:

Before launching into something you're thinking about, check in with the other person on whether they are up for a chat, or whether they would prefer a little quiet time. If they need quiet time, respect that (it's not a rejection, I promise) and find another outlet for your energy/thoughts.*

Make sure you and your partner are on the same page about why you're talking and what level of engagement is needed from them. I had this issue with a friend while travelling (I chat while packing and they were getting overwhelmed). We talked about it and I explained that when this happens I don't need (or expect) them to actually listen, at most it would be nice if they occasionally said "hmm good question" or "mmmm" so I didnt feel lonely or get distracted. This isn't something they need so they had thought I wanted them to deeply listen and answer questions each time and were understandably EXHAUSTED. This convo, and following "heads up, I'm doing the thing - let me know if you need quiet time" chats avoided a lot of potential tension!

If you are having trouble with impulsively talking, find something that tends to help you have "quiet time". For me this is listening to something through headphones that I dont need to pay too much attention to or actually "watch" but still find really enjoyable (e.g. podcasts or super-long game-plays (thank you Jacksepticeye amiright?)) For some reason this signals "no talking" to my brain and I can quietly focus in other things - find yours!

Take a few deep breaths and talk a little slower. When ADHDers are hypertalkative and REALLY into a thought, it can be... intense. Passion is wonderful but taking a second to recognise that your partner is probs also having several thoughts/their own experience and it will take them a second to adjust is always appreciated.

*Other possible outlets for your energy/thoughts!

Write it in a notebook

Type it out or speak it to an AI chatbot!

Call a friend or family member

Do something physical to reduce the mental restlessness (this can be exercise, or even just doing some dishes or gardening etc - just something that makes your brain feel less like it needs to work out everything in the world RIGHT NOW)

Try a guided meditation to slow your thoughts

In the end only you and your partner will be able to work out what's best for you both, but I hope this has helped!

Remember that just because they don't want to chat right now does NOT mean they don't want to hear your thoughts at all. It's likely they just need to recharge their social batteries so that they can have cute chats and fun times later.

X

[belladonnadawn]

Before you/After you

"I love you, it's ruining my life." As the future heir of Serulla, you have your mind set and path in order. But everything changed once you met him– Zaros. (What happened eight years ago) Zaros Kymen Atha'lin x Reader

Everything is set in place ever since you were born. The road that you're taking was taken before, the thought comforts other– but it cages you. Every moment and every step you take was for Serulla— they hold your present while you hold their future.

For you, the small talks are for formalities, the conversations are for information, and connections are for upper hand. You'd often glance at the ladies, with how they easily converse with one another. You'd quietly observe viscounts laugh with each other.

You would be lying if you said that you didn't want to find a connection like that. A conversation with no intent, a friendship without negotiations. You tried in the past, but to no avail. No one seems to scratch the surface, no one seem to try.

Academy seems to aid with your loneliness. The more work and tasks they gave, the less you have to ponder about whatever thought your mind can conjure. For a moment, it did not matter that you're the heir to the throne, nor you're alone.

You quickly adjusted to the academy, it helped that some of the topics and subjects interests you. Even if you're having a hard time with other subjects, you have mentors to guide you through. The life was monotonous, but somehow, you found comfort in that.

The cafeteria is bustling with students packed with their snacks and stories. Sounds of metal and glasses along with conversations and laughters filled the area. You wished that those noise would visit you often, but that is almost impossible.

"Is this seat occupied?" A blonde young man asked, tearing your attention away from your food. As you looked up at him, his eyes widened, recognizing you. There was the familiar look in his eyes, one that you're almost used to seeing in other people's faces.

"I apologize, I did not—"

"Please seat, it's alright," You quickly spoke. It was strange, but a part of you wants him to stay.

He sat down, a flicker of intimidation in his gestures. He was careful, as if waiting for judgement. You wanted to roll your eyes at how tense he is— it was almost ridiculous.

"What's your name?"

He looked at you, clearly taken aback by your question, "My name is Zaros, your grace. Zaros Kymen Atha'lin."

"Zaros, nice to meet you."

You held your hand out and to your relief, he accepted.

Somehow, life in the academy became bearable. The monotonous mundane life that you usually led became tolerable. Awkward lunches and small talk became comfortable silence as you continued to spend time with each other. It also helped that you share some classes with him.

The more you spend time with Zaros, the more you know him. Zaros is filled with dreams and aspirations. You can't help but admire his outlook in life. He was a breath of fresh air and it felt like you finally found what you were looking for.

"Once I finish studying, I'll make sure to apply what I learned in my community. Giving back what I can is the least I can do for the people who I grew up with," His eyes filled with hope and aspirations– almost as if he can grasp the dream that he longs for.

Your heart warmed at the sight knowing that he's few steps away from achieving what his heart wants.

"What about you?" Zaros stopped his steps, tilting his head as he tried to examine you.

"My dream is to lead Serulla with honor and integrity. I want to continue its legacy" You answered, dictating the same words ingrained in your brain ever since you were a child.

Zaros only tiled his head at the answer. "But what about your dream?"

You looked at him with surprise as he asked the question once more. This time, you knew what he meant.

"I want to see the world myself." The words flow freely from your mouth as you let your guard down to him for a bit.

Zaros held your hand, giving it a gentle caress, "What's stopping you?"

Serulla is a wonderful nation; the more you explored it the more you loved the place and the people. You can't help but thank Zaros for his guidance. He showed you places you haven't seen before, leading you to paths that you never thought you'd traverse.

You seized your free time with him, often advancing your studies and sneaking past the guards so you can explore the kingdom more. Both of you knew those moments were limited, but you made sure that it was worth it. You and Zaros became inseparable and you wouldn't have it the other way.

"Just close your eyes. Do not peek," Zaros continued to guide your steps as his hand covers your vision.

"Oh, please. If this is one of your tricks, I'm punching you," You chuckled, anticipation building up at his said surprise.

"It's none of that. You can trust me."

Zaros halted his steps and so did you as you finally arrived to your destination.

"I present you the most beautiful view in Serulla." As he removed his hand, your eyes finally adjusted to the view.

What welcomed you is a beautiful landscape showcasing the city. The view from here was high enough to make everything seem small and distant. Cold breeze gently touched your skin; as you inhale, you feel yourself floating– soaring the skies.

You glanced at the man beside you. His soft gaze made your heart beat faster, but you didn't mind. A soft smile plastered in your face made his smile widen.

Then you felt it: the warm feeling in your chest, the heat in your cheeks, and the security that you never felt around anyone but him.

Zaros placed his arm around your shoulder, "Did you like it?"

You leaned to his touch, not minding the physical contact. With a smile, you answered, "I love it."

People are intrusive and curious. You understood that it will never change, but it still irritated you.

Once people got caught wind of you and Zaros, rumors began to spread. Some are almost harmless, but most of them are ridiculous. Whenever you hear it, you can't help but roll your eyes. It did bothered you at first, but you learned how to pay no mind.

After the exam, unwinding is something that you looked forward to; the park was the perfect place for that. A soft sigh of relief escaped your lips as you felt the grass beneath you. Being confined in the halls made you appreciate the nature. You finally found a way to break free from things that was weighing you down.

Your eyes wandered at the lush surroundings: the fresh flowers, the beautiful butterflies, and the clear blue sky.

As you looked around, you felt as if you're being observed. To your disappointment, you saw a group from the academy, whispering to each other, giving you not-so-sublte glances. You tried to ignore them, but you found more and more people looking at you like a spectacle– exchanging words as if dissecting you right then and there.

Taking a deep breath, you focused in your surroundings once more, ignoring the feeling of their suffocating scrutiny. You are a public figure, get used to it. The words repeat in your head like a mantra, but it didn't help. Your clothes felt tighter, your heart beats faster, and everything around you feels smaller and sma—

"Ignore them," His voice seems to pull you awaw from your thoughts that you almost drowned you. As you gazed at him, the weighing feeling in your chest gradually fades.

"I know a spot," Zaros smiled, holding his hand out and you happily took it.

That moment, you knew that he knew you in a way that no one would.

"The academy seems to treat you well," Your mother spoke with a soft smile, carrying a hint of pride in her voice. Her presence always soothes you. She always carries this grace and elegance in her actions and words; it was those traits that made you admire her as a leader and a mother.

You nod, a small smile visible on your face as you recallled your life in the academy and with Zaros. Back then, it was the topic that you dreaded to talk about, but now it felt like a distant past.

"I'm seeing a new side of you. It makes me wonder if you're ready to take after me," She spoke with a hint of joke, her gentle hand tapped against your cheek. For a moment you did not see Queen Roena— you saw a mother gently scolding her child.

A chuckle escaped your lips, "I still have a long way to go, Mother. My studies are well taken care of and I am not falling behind," You spoke, trying to appease her.

"I understand, my dear. Your little tardiness and unruly behavior is just bothering me," A small sigh escaped her mouth. "Few years from now, you will hopefully rule Serulla. I expect responsibility and strong sense of duty."

"Mother, I was just having fun with a friend. I assure you my studies are still my priority," You insisted like a petulant child.

She held your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as she looked at you, "I know, dear. As a mother, I advise you to be wise and careful. Trust is a gift not quickly given. Some people have different intentions."

You felt a cold coil in your stomach, not liking the direction where she was headed. It felt as if you knew what it was about— who it was about.

"Zaros, that is his name, right?"

You nodded, you wanted to open your mouth to defend him, but your mother immediately spoke.

"I apologize for intrusion. I know that you're growing up and being your own self, but I cannot help but worry about your current behavior and the rumors circulating around you and that man. Threats and dangers are everywhere, you have to be wary. Sometimes you need to listen to others, maybe they're seeing another perspective that you're blinded by."

A feeling of dread and hurt filled you at her implications. You're in another predicament once again, choosing between yourself and Serulla.

"Please, I speak to you as your mother. I cannot take another heartbreak, I cannot lose you," She caressed your cheek, her eyes filled with hurt as she recalled the distant past.

"Of course, mother. I will choose what is wise for us and Serulla." You spoke, cursing yourself as the words escaped your lips.

If you were able to condese the rumors that circulated, it will only boil you down to one thing:

The heir is a gullible fool, led astray by a traitor.

The future heir of Serulla is either a genuine dunce or seemingly a dunce. It was an insult to the ruler to raise someone as ignorant as you. You can't help but believe it. After all there's a thin line between losing your inhibitions and losing yourself.

You spent your days pondering about the rumors, considering your mothers words. Maybe they are right, maybe they saw something that you didn't. Gathering your resolve, you decided to face the possible truth. You have been led astray by him, it was now time to get your life back.

"Why did you befriend me?"

Zaros chuckled out of bewilderment, "That's a strange question."

"Just answer it," Your gaze sharp, catching him off guard. You saw him falter at your firm voice, leaving no room for friendly banter.

"Because I thought that we can be friends," Zaros spoke carefully, looking at you in the eyes, trying to figure you out. He could feel the tension filling the air– gone was the comfortable silence.

"Is that all?"

"You're asking as if you want to hear a specific answer."

"And if I do? Because it's strange how a person like you could take a liking in having a connection with me? Unless…" You glanced at him from head to toe.

"Unless what? Say it," His eyes daring, not leaving your gaze as he braced himself.

"Unless you're after something more valuable than friendship. Even others can see that."

Zaros' eyes widened, scoffing at your accusations, "Is that how think it is? After all the times you spent with me, you decided to believe them? That's preposterous." He let out a bitter chuckle.

"I am just considering their opinions. You can't blame me for being careful, especially with how desperate people can be," Your words venomous as you spoke.

"I may be 'desperate', but at least I am not a pathetic being whose worth is attached to a throne destined for them."

"Well, at least I am not desperate enough to intrude in someone's life!"

His jaw tenses as he clenched his fists, all the hint of the previous connection and bond gone in his face. "Maybe they were right. Maybe you're truly a fool. And if I am being honest, Serulla is doomed to fail under your guidanc—"

Silence filled the room after the loud sound of your palm making a hard contact in his cheek.

“You are a disgusting leech who won my trust, only to break me after. Knowing you is my greatest regret, I never want to see your face again.”

Before he could respond, you immediately left the scene.

As you walked down the hall, your chest felt tight and your mouth felt dry. You tried to ignore the stinging in your eyes, but before you can prevent it tears starts to well up.

You knew that there's no coming back after the words that you exchanged with each other. The bridge was burnt, you made your choice. Whether you'll truly regret what occured, you have yet to know.

Divider: Cafekitsune

[respectthepetty]

Hi Petty,

I dont know if you can help, if this is a field of interest for you or not, but I hope you can clear something up for me.

The Loyal Pin is set in the 1950s. The idea is that Anin goes to the UK, gets liberated, and starts pursuing Pin romantically. At least to me, that is what the text is saying.

My hangup is that the 1950s were famously a conservative decade. Talking specifically about the UK, Alan Turing, a war hero, was castrated for homosexuality. Clearly, they were not favorable to gay people if that happened to a war hero who basically saved the Allied Nations. One look at history, and you can tell 1950s UK was not any more liberal than any other cross-section of humanity at the time. They liked their gender roles and hierarchies.

So, how does this story make sense? Am I missing something?

(Sorry for my English. It's not my first language. I'm relying on autocorrect here.)

Your English is perfect, so never worry about that with me!

But your question . . . I can't answer this.

I haven't read the book, which I'm sure gives more context and I'm an American who knows some Spanish and Latin American history/politics, so there is nothing in my life that would properly prepare me to answer this specific question.

@absolutebl wrote about historical politics when the Thai BL I Feel You Linger in the Air came out, and although that series and The Loyal Pin are set in different decades, I think the implications still holds that Europe shaped the mentalities of the Thai elite, which conflicted with Thai beliefs at the time.

@hallowpen has also been writing about the series weekly in their Koda's Royal Records in which they explain the Thai culture, customs, and historical content of the series. They could possibly answer your question.

And @lurkingteapot always knows things about Thai culture.

Perhaps someone else has thoughts to offer on this, so I'll leave it to them to educate us all on this.

[lucygxybaird]

billy x reader - time traveler billy

Everything happens so quickly that you don’t have time — at first — to realize how odd the situation is. The man’s clothes make him look like a refugee from a Western, and everything about him, from the curl of his hair to the way he stands marks him out as someone…different, somehow. Not to mention, of course, that he’s standing in the middle of the street, looking about as out of place and freaked out as a squirrel dropped into the middle of the ocean. 

But even if you could put your finger on it, you don’t have the time to consider what makes him so strange. 

First, you’ll have to get him out of the path of the oncoming car. 

You have, in point of fact, never actually tackled someone before, let alone someone who seems to be quite a bit taller than you and undoubtedly heavier. But you take your best shot, leaning in and diving at his waist, hoping to make him fold like a lawn chair. Maybe it’s just the shock, or maybe you actually find the right angle — you have no idea, but it doesn’t really matter. You manage to knock the guy sideways, both of you stumbling toward the safety of the sidewalk as the car screeches past, the driver laying on his horn. 

You watch as the guy flinches at the noise, actually clapping his hands over his ears as he squeezes his eyes shut, like he’s praying with all his might that the noise will just stop. Fortunately for him, the car turns the corner up ahead, and the sound of the horn fades as it goes. You watch it go, wondering absently how long Speed Racer is going to keep honking, and then you look back at the guy whose life you’ve saved.

“Are you okay?” It’s probably a stupid question, considering what little information you already have, but you don’t know what else to say. The guy lowers his hands and squints at you, staring as if you’re the one dressed like an extra from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. “Hey — are you alright?”

He shakes his head, more like he’s trying to chase away a bothersome gnat than answering you. 

You’re starting to worry that he’s hit his head, although you can’t see a cut or a bruise on his temple. Now that you’re looking at him properly, it’s really rather difficult to keep from noticing how…well, how hot he is. It’s probably — definitely — inappropriate to even think about it, you’re well aware, considering he’s either injured, intoxicated in some way, or just going through it, but you can’t ignore the fact now that it’s quite literally staring you in the face. 

His eyes are large and blue, framed by thick, dark lashes as long as your pinky finger, set above a strong, straight nose that reminds you of a Greek statue, as perfectly sculpted as if it’s been made from marble. His lips are astonishingly full, his jawline and cheekbones each as defined as the dictionary, and you think there just might be the shadow of a dimple in his chin. And he’s tall, too, topping you by nearly a foot, his broad shoulders tapering to an angular waist. You realize, belatedly, that you’re staring, but then again, so is he.

“Are you okay?” you say again. “Is there something I can do for you? Someone I can call?”

He swallows, giving another shake of his head. “I don’t…I dunno where I am.” 

It’s the first time you’ve heard him speak, and his voice brings to mind sage brush and sunsets, the smoke that swirls over a campfire as it crackles with life, warm and husky, with a twang that makes you think of the bite of whiskey. 

“Okay,” you say, and without thinking about it, you take his hand. It feels natural, like trying to guide a lost child, or trying to make sure you don’t lose him in a crowd. As soon as his palm touches yours, you feel a shock race up your arm, and you have the strangest sensation of a door closing, separating one moment from the next as definitively as an axe splitting wood. 

His fingers curl around yours, his expression almost pleading. 

“Okay,” you repeat. “Okay. Just…come with me. I’ll help you.”

You can tell, if not just by the expression on his face — half-hopeful, half-bracing, as if he’s expecting a blow to fall any second — that he’s not used to asking for help, especially not from strangers. It makes your heart hurt just a little bit. You give his hand a gentle squeeze, and you’re softened — or maybe melted — by the way he smiles at you, shy but appearing more heartened than he did just a moment ago.

Then another car whizzes by, and he winces like someone has taken a shot at him. He ducks down, his eyes so wide that they look like a pair of full moons, their cornflower centers the only source of color in his face. “The hell is that?”

You stare at him. If he didn’t look so terrified, you’d think he was joking. But if he’s not joking, then he’s either on an incredible cocktail of drugs, or he’s from that weird isolated cult town in The Village. “It’s…it’s a car,” you say. 

“A car,” he repeats, as if you’ve just told him the secret to life in Mandarin. 

“Yeah,” you say. “You know…a horseless carriage.” 

For some reason, this seems to impart some understanding to him, but you can tell he’s still plenty freaked out. “Carriages don’t go that fuckin’ fast!”

You try very, very hard not to laugh, but god, it’s hard. You’re having to draw on nearly every ounce of compassion you have. It helps that, really, he’s not wrong. Not that you’ve ever ridden in a carriage, because you’re not Keira Knightley in a period film, but you don’t think they’re capable of speeds like that. 

“If it makes you feel any better,” you say, “you don’t have to worry about getting into a horseless carriage with me. I hate driving.” 

Now that it’s just the two of you standing on the sidewalk again, the road mercifully free of cars, he seems to relax a little, at least enough to consider your words. “Well,” he says. “That’s something.” 

Not entirely sure where to go, you decide the police station is as good a place as any. It might be a little Hallmark movie of the week, but maybe someone has already filed a missing persons report on him. With that thought, it occurs to you that you need some information first. 

“Do you remember your name?” you ask.

The look he gives you indicates he has never been quite so offended in his life. You can’t help but laugh this time. “Well, I don’t know!” you say. “You don’t know where you are, you’re walking around here looking like a puppy at the start of an ASPCA ad — maybe you’re suffering from some kind of amnesia.”

He doesn’t look any less nonplussed, but something about your laughter has loosened the muscles in his face. He smiles at you. You try to ignore the way your stomach flips to focus on his answer. “Billy,” he says. 

You fight the urge to repeat his name, rolling it around in your mouth like candy. “Come on,” you say, his hand still in yours. “We’re not gonna get anywhere just standing here. Do you trust me?”

He smiles again, though this time with a bit of a razor’s edge to it. “Not like I got much choice, honey,” he says, and then pauses, softens. “Yeah. You’ve been nicer to me than most people would’ve, findin’ a stranger in the middle of nowhere, actin’ like he’s been dropped on his head. I wouldn’t have blamed ya if you’d run the other direction.”

You have no idea why, but what springs from your mouth before you can help yourself is: “I couldn’t do that to you.”

He studies you for a minute. His gaze feels as physical as a caress, and just as intimate. If not more so. You both do and don’t want it to stop. 

“Come on,” you say again, at least in part to break the silence. “Follow me.”

The two of you start walking, following the weathered gray slabs of cracked, uneven concrete that your small town calls a sidewalk as it winds its way into town. 

After a few moments of quiet, he says, “You never told me your name.” 

When you introduce yourself, he smiles again. “That’s nice,” he says. “Pretty.”

Your stomach flips again, and you have to remind yourself that you don’t know anything about this guy, except — only just now — his name. The fact that he’s tall, gorgeous, and really does give off a hurt puppy sort of vibe doesn’t matter. And it definitely doesn’t matter that his smile spreads across his face like a sunrise coloring the sky with ribbons of pastels. He could be a serial killer, or if not that extreme, some kind of — 

The two of you are still, for reasons not entirely clear to you and probably not much clearer to him, holding hands, so you’re jerked out of your thoughts by the fact that he’s gone stock still. 

“You’re takin’ me to the sheriff?”

If the dread clinging to his voice like a weed choking out a weaker plant wasn’t bad enough, he’s frozen still on the sidewalk, looking at you as if you’ve…well, as if you’ve betrayed him somehow. The pit of your stomach turns to ice.

“The sheriff?” you repeat. You feel oddly, stupidly, disappointed. A guy with nothing to hide doesn’t act like this when someone brings him to the authorities. The disillusionment washing over you makes your tongue sharp. “Who the hell are you, Barney Fife?”

He frowns. “I told you my name.”

“Yeah, I — never mind.” You shake your head and let go of his hand. The bare skin of your palm feels oddly cold. “What’s the matter? I thought someone might be looking for you. Maybe someone filed a missing persons report.”

“I don’t think so, darlin’.” He glances at the police station again, his throat bobbing. A pause, and then, softly, like he’s making a confession: “Nobody left that cares about me that much. Unless they wanna cause me some hurt.”

You feel the strangest mixture of sympathetic and prickly, as if you’ve been caught doing something wrong by someone who has been directly and seriously hurt by your actions. “Well…” You clear your throat, trying to find the right words to defend yourself. “I mean, listen, what kind of hurt? Are you a criminal or something?”

One corner of his mouth tilts up in a bitter approximation of a grin. “Or somethin’, honey,” he says. “I got a reputation I never wanted and that I’m not proud of, an’ not one person reads about me in the paper or sees my name on a wanted poster—”

Wanted poster? But something about his fierce, stung expression keeps your mouth shut.

“ — ever gave a damn about the truth. About why I did all that stuff. I didn’t want to!” When his voice rises, equal parts angry and hurt, you can’t help yourself. You reach for his hand again. He takes a deep breath, his fingers grasping yours. “I didn’t want to do any of it. I just wanted…I wanted things to get better. Every time I thought they would, they just got worse.”

You know it would make sense to ask what he actually did, but somehow, you can’t bring yourself to put the words out there. He looks ashamed and angry, but defiant, too, as if daring you to do it. Or, worse, to pass judgement. But you just press your lips together. 

“I wanted to go straight,” he says. “I wanted a good job for a respectable boss, so I could keep a roof over my head and food in my belly. Damn it, I just wanted some peace—”

When his voice breaks, you feel it in your chest, as if a fissure has opened up in your collarbone. Your own eyes burn, a reaction as instantaneous and out of your control as a burning red welt raising up around a bee’s stinger. It hurts you, to see him hurt, and you can’t even begin to explain to yourself why that is. 

“Well, I…I…” You fumble your words, not even sure what you’re going to say. But you know you have to say something. “I…okay, so, we’ll…we’ll go somewhere else. We’ll figure it out.”

He looks about as shocked to hear you say that as he was by the car burning rubber on the road leading into town. “You mean it?”

You swallow down the stupid feeling that you’re going to cry, and you nod. “Yeah, come on,” you say, and you hold out your hand again. He takes it. “We’ll go back to my place.”

He offers you another crooked smile, but this one is more surprised, almost tender, like you’ve shown him something sweet and unexpected hidden in the palm of your hand. “You sure about that, sweetheart?” he says. “You don’t know me all that well. I’d understand if you didn’t want a strange man in your home.”

Forget not knowing him that well, you don’t really know him at all, but you just tell him, “I’m sure.”

Because you are. In what seems to be the theme of the day, you can’t explain why, but it just feels…safe. Despite the little Dateline-themed voice in your head telling you otherwise, you can’t ignore the certainty, heavy and inexplicable, that you’ve been here before. He’ll step into your apartment and feel at ease, because this isn’t the first time he’s been your home. It will fit like an old coat, comfortable and soft and easy. 

It’s insane, but you can’t turn your thoughts away from it. 

His fingers lace with yours, and he rubs his thumb over your knuckle. The way he’s looking at you, so intently, his gaze never wavering from yours, makes you feel as though you’re being turned inside out, exposed. The moment when he froze with fear as the two of you approached the police — sheriff — station seems distant in both time and space, like you’ve gone forward many miles and many years in time in the space of just a few minutes.

“No cars, right?” he says, his crooked smile widening. The word cars sits in his mouth like he isn’t quite used to the shape of it, but you’re so charmed by the fact that he’s trying to make a joke. That the two of you have a joke to share. 

“No cars,” you say.

You’re walking again. Now and again you pass other people, who look at Billy the way you must have looked at him when you first saw him — eyebrows furrowed, pushing down over their eyes, glance flicking over him as if a quick look will make any more sense than a lingering one. Billy doesn’t seem to notice, or if he does, he doesn’t seem to care. He’s too busy looking around at everything else; it all seems to shock him to varying degrees, whether it’s the buildings around you, the streetlights and the power lines silhouetted against the sky, the concrete beneath your feet and the asphalt of the road running beside you. 

As another car zooms by, Billy lets go of your hand, dosey-do’s behind you, and takes your other hand. Now he’s standing between you and the road. “I don’t like those things,” he mutters, more to himself than to you. “But I like you near ‘em even less.” 

Your apartment building is a brick rectangle studded with windows, a pair of double doors set in the middle at the top of a wide set of concrete steps. You lead Billy inside and he stops as you reach for the elevator button. 

“What the hell?” he says, again speaking under his breath.

You push the button, watching Billy’s face as the call button lights up. He flinches at the ding, looking around for the source of the noise; you squeeze his hand gently. You wonder again where the hell he came from, that every piece of modern technology seems to make as little sense to him as ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics. “It’s okay,” you say. “Just trust me.” 

Implicit in your voice is this: I won’t let anything happen to you.

He seems to hear your silent promise, or maybe the words you actually say are enough. Billy smiles thinly and nods.

When the doors slide open, though, he balks. “Are we supposed to go in there?”

“Yes. It’ll take us up to the floor my apartment is on, without us having to go up all those stairs.”

He swallows. “Okay.”

You step into the elevator and he trails after you with the air of a child who is expecting a switching out back. When the elevator starts to rise upward, Billy stares at you incredulously. “It’s okay,” you say again. “It won’t take long, I promise.”

He has a white-knuckle grip on your hand, and he jumps a little at the ding from somewhere above your heads as the elevator comes to a stop. When the doors slide open, he relaxes a little. “That’s all?”

“That’s all,” you confirm, and you lead him down the hallway. He waits while you fish your keys out and let yourselves inside your apartment.

As soon as the door closes behind you, Billy’s shoulders soften. You watch him as he looks around, feeling oddly nervous. As if it matters whether or not he likes your place.

Your building is old — you think from the 1920s or thereabouts, if you remember what your landlord said when she showed you the place five years ago — and it shows in the way it looks. Wooden parquet floors the color of honey are softened by rugs that you found at a flea market, a brown velvet couch slouching in front of a square, red-brick fireplace, framed by a mantle scattered with knickknacks. Billy smiles as he wanders over, picking up a little statuette shaped like a cat, wearing a collar of flat chips of glass.

“Cute,” he says, offering you another smile, and you feel inordinately pleased. 

His gaze roams around the living room. To his left, a doorway hung with a beaded curtain leads into the kitchen, and in front of him, a hallway runs to the back of the apartment, with your bedroom on one side and a bathroom on the other. His gaze turns back to the mantle, lifting to the wall above it, where a flatscreen TV is fixed.

“What is that?” he says, leaning forward to inspect this dim reflection in the screen. “A mirror?”

Despite yourself, a snort works its way out of your mouth, and he shoots you a wounded look. “Sorry,” you say, putting your hand over your mouth. “Sorry. No, it’s my TV.”

You have another, smaller one in your room, but you decide one television might be enough for him to deal with right now.

“A — a T…V?” he says, repeating the two letters distinctly, as if they have nothing to do with each other. “What’s that?”

Your lips part, and you stare at him for a second. “Billy,” you say. “Where are you from?”

His brow furrows, like he doesn’t quite understand what you’re asking. “Well,” he says slowly. “Most recently I’ve been livin’ in New Mexico. Why?”

New Mexico. That really doesn’t answer your question. “Where in New Mexico?”

His puzzled frown deepens, but he doesn’t ask why you’re pressing him. Maybe he figures you deserve to know, after saving his life and bringing him back to your apartment. “Lincoln, right now,” he says.

You don’t know much about Lincoln — or New Mexico, for that matter — but you don’t think it’s some reclusive community where they wouldn’t know about elevators or cars. 

The next question you have is crazy, totally insane, really — but you think you’ve seen doctors on TV ask concussion victims the same thing. And that’s definitely all it is. Because there’s no way this could actually be the problem. 

“Billy,” you say again. “What year is it?”

Now it’s his turn to huff out a laugh through his nose. “What year is it? It’s 1881.” 

You’re so floored by this statement that you blurt out, without much — or any — tact: “No, it’s not.”

He looks like he’s on the verge of arguing with you, but maybe everything hits him all at once. The cars, the technology he doesn’t understand, the very world around him that looks so different from what he’s used to. “What…what year is it, then?”

You blink. “2024,” you say. 

This time, when he laughs, there’s no humor in it, only a sharp incredulity. “You’re crazy,” he says, but without much heat. It’s almost like a plea, as though he’s offering you the opportunity to take it back. To say something that actually makes sense, because — and you have to give it to him, he’s not wrong — this doesn’t make sense at all.

And yet, unless he’s been severely brainwashes or he’s just putting you on, it’s also the only option.

“How did I get here?” he says, and he sounds — and looks — like he might cry again. “What do I do now?”

“I don’t know,” you say. Then you reach for him, and even before your hands find his face, he’s moving closer to you. He holds onto your waist, like you’re a lifeline. “I don’t know. I don’t know how you got here, or why, but you’re not alone, okay? You have me.”

It doesn’t even register with you at first that this is an incredibly strange, if not downright dangerous, thing to say to someone you met not even two hours ago. Especially considering you’re saying it to a man who is bigger and undoubtedly stronger than you. But you don’t feel like you’re putting yourself at risk. 

Billy, though, says what you’re thinking, except he says it with a sense of wonder. It almost sounds like a prayer. “I don’t even know you,” he murmurs.

Yes, you do.

The thought seems to come from outside of you, as if someone has turned to a fresh page in your mind and written it there in their own hand. 

Billy says your name, still in that awestruck voice. It feels as though there is a web spun between you, gossamer-fine but indissoluble. The fact that he could be an honest-to-god time traveler makes more sense to you than the idea that you only met him today. 

“1881,” you repeat, and he chuckles.

“2024,” he returns. 

“How old are you?” 

“Twenty-two.”

“Oh,” you say, relieved. Although technically if he’s twenty-two and from the year 1881, that means he’s around 165 years old, but who’s counting? “Me too.”

He smiles, an uptick of the corner of his mouth that nonetheless makes your heart skip in your chest. You decide that you want his hands on you, always, his gaze on you, always, but then you remember something else you have to show him. 

“Come here,” you say, taking his hand again. You lead him down the hallway to the bathroom, the sight of which earns you another look at his stunned, disbelieving face. “Okay. This is my bathroom.” You point. “That’s a toilet.” You try to remember when toilets were invented. “It’s like…an outhouse. But inside.” 

Billy snorts. “I know what a toilet is.”

You hum. There’s that, at least. “This is definitely new,” you say, and you point to the shower. He nods. You have one of those with a glass door, which you — a little embarrassingly, now — have declared with decals of cartoon sea creatures, including a whale, a puffer fish, and a little scuba diver.  “Right. This a shower.”

You push the door open, reaching inside and turning the knob so the water comes pouring out. Billy jumps at the sudden noise and stares as steam fill the room. “It’s hot?” he says uncertainly.

“It can be,” you say. “If you twist this knob here, it can get cooler, though. But it won’t hurt you.”

“What do you do?” he says, peering at the shower. “It’s for bathin’?”

You nod. “You just…” You blush and gesture vaguely at his clothes, before gesturing equally vaguely to the floor. “And step in. There’s soap and shampoo for your hair.”

He smiles crookedly. “Are you tryin’ to tell me I don’t smell like roses, honey?”

You laugh a little. “I mean, well…”

He grins again before looking resolutely at the shower. “Okay,” he says. “I’ll try.”

You give him privacy, shutting the door behind you, though you hover nervously in the hallway in case he needs you. You’re worried about him slipping and falling, so you have to resist the temptation to press your ear against the door. Finally, you hear the water shut off — you’re proud of him for figuring out how to do that, without dousing himself in ice water or boiling himself alive — and you realize, just then, that you have to get him fresh clothes.

“Hold on!” you call through the door.

You hurry into your room and find an old college t-shirt that you “borrowed” from your dad, along with a pair of pajama bottoms that are advertised as unisex but absolutely swim on you at the cuffs, so you hope they’re long enough for him. You knock on the bathroom door, and when it opens a crack, you hold out the clothes while carefully turning your head away. “Here,” you say. “These should fit.”

“Thank you,” he says, voice muffled by the door, and then he takes the clothes and the door shuts again. 

You perch on the couch in the living room, waiting for him. The bathroom door opens fully, releasing a cloud of fragrant steam, and you smile encouragingly as you see Billy standing in the doorway. The pants do indeed fit, although the t-shirt hangs on him a little. 

“What did you think?” you ask. “Of your first shower experience?”

Billy chuckles, coming to sit next to you on the couch. You’re so aware of his proximity that it makes the air between you sing. There’s something about the sight of him, freshly showered and smiling, seemingly more relaxed now, that makes you want to lean into him. 

“It was nice,” he says. “Warm.” 

You’ve lost count of how many times today that it’s happened, but once again, he takes your hand. 

“Thank you for takin’ care of me,” he says softly. “You’re a sweet girl. I’m glad I met you.”

Coming from anyone else, being called a sweet girl would make you feel like a toy poodle. But coming from Billy, in his warm, molasses-slow drawl, it just makes you feel warm, like you’re bathing in sunshine. 

“I’m glad, too,” you murmur.

It would be crazy to kiss him right now, right? You know the answer is yes. You know that. Still, ever since the moment his voice broke outside the police station, you’ve felt…protective over him. More than that, you’ve felt connected. It’s as if seeing him break down, even if it was only for a moment, in turn broke down something between the two of you. 

You remember that sensation when you first took his hand, as if a door had slammed solidly shut between this moment and the rest of your life, and you think maybe there wasn’t so much of a barrier up in the first place.

Billy touches your cheek with the very pads of his fingertips, as if he’s afraid that you’re a bubble that will burst from rough contact. “What the hell?” he says softly, and you laugh, because you know it’s not really a question you’re supposed to answer. “We just met today?”

You nod.

“And some way or another, I’ve traveled…” A pause while he does the math. “140-odd years in the future?”

You nod again. 

“Alright, then,” he says mildly, and he kisses you.

It feels like the world turns inside out from a point centered around the two of you, spiraling and twisting outward until it forms again, entirely new, bigger and grander, humming and buzzing like a live-wire. Your hands grasping his shoulders feel like the only reason you aren’t just floating away, and the way he grips your waist makes you think he feels the same. You press closer to him, his arms encircling you as he pulls you onto his lap.

A hoarse chuckle comes from somewhere around the fireplace. “You kids usually take longer than this.”

You jump out of your skin, and before you can blink, you find yourself sprawled on the couch cushions, Billy on his feet in front of you. One hand goes to his belt only to grasp at the air. He scowls and brandishes his fists instead, and then—

“Old Moss?”

You sit up. “You know this guy?”

An old man has his elbow propped on the mantelpiece, a tattered hat perched on his head. He’s shorter than Billy, stockier, but their clothes are much the same, along with the weathered tan on their faces. The old man, though, has a beard covering the lower half of his face, spilling over his chest like dirty cotton. 

“I…” Billy shakes his head, seemingly just as flummoxed — if not more — than he was before. “I knew him when I was a kid. He helped my family cross the country.”

The old man — Old Moss — chuckles. “I’m not Old Moss, son,” he says. “I took on this form to make you more comfortable. Otherwise you would have tried to wallop me, I bet, and that wouldn’t have been good for you.”

Billy stiffens, and he puts one arm behind him, to keep you behind him on the couch. “Who the hell are you, then?”

Old Moss (you don’t know what else to call him) shrugs. “A representative of the universe,” he says, waving his hand to underscore this grand sentiment. “My speciality is helpin’ lovers find each other in every lifetime.” 

A shiver dances down your spine. “Every lifetime?” you murmur.

“Oh, sure,” Old Moss says. “You two have found each other in every life since your souls first came into being.” He smiles crookedly. “Thanks to me. You’re welcome.”

Another grin creases his face. “This time, I thought I’d try things a little bit differently,” he says, shrugging. “I’ve never pulled one soul from a different point in time before. I wasn’t sure if it would work, to be honest with you.”

He grins again. “Judgin’ by the way you were treatin’ her face like an ice cream cone, though, I’m guessing it did.”

Despite yourself, you giggle. 

Out of the corner of his mouth, slanting a glance at you, Billy murmurs, “What’s a—?”

“I’ll get you one later. You’ll like it,” you assure him, and now you do stand next to him, patting him gently on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, though, you kiss better than that.”

Old Moss chuckles. “You guys got any questions before I go?”

You think for a second. “How many lives has it been?”

“Mmm…” The old man tugs on his beard thoughtfully. “I’d say this is your…I dunno, I lost track. Somewhere around 200, I think, maybe a little north of that.”

Your hand creeps into Billy’s, and he squeezes gently.

“And we loved each other in all of them?” you say.

Old Moss’s expression is almost unbearably kind. He nods. “All of them,” he says.

Billy’s shoulder presses against yours, and you feel the contact from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. Somehow, over 200 lifetimes of loving him doesn’t seem like a surprise. 

“An’ I…I get to stay here with her?” Billy says now. “I don’t gotta go back there?”

Buried in the snowy tangles of his beard, Old Moss’s mouth twitches. You can’t tell if it’s a smile, or if he’s trying to swallow tears. “Yeah, son,” he says. “You get to stay.”

Billy’s hand tightens around yours, as if he’s worried — despite Old Moss’s confirmation — that someone is going to take him away from you. You grip his hand tighter in turn. Like you’re going to let that happen.

You look over at Billy, and he turns his head to meet your gaze. You can see every one of those lifetimes in his eyes, caught in his gaze like snowflakes on his lashes, and you hope there’s going hundreds more, going on until the world itself ends. Nothing else will be enough. 

By the time you can turn your eyes away from him, Old Moss is gone. You look over at Billy again, and he grins at you. “I guess representatives of the universe favor Irish goodbyes.”

You grin back at him, winding your arms around his neck. “It seems like I’m stuck with you now,” you say, and he chuckles. 

“Seems so.”

He leans down to kiss you. The world turns inside out and spirals again — and again — and again — and…by the time it’s settled again, and Billy breaks the kiss, you think that you’d be happy if you spent this lifetime and each one to come just doing this.

“So…” Billy smiles crookedly. “About that ice cream cone?”

You laugh. There’s a thousand things to set him up with — how the hell does somebody get a Social Security number at twenty-something years old? — but you can figure that out later.

For now — 

“Let’s take you to get one,” you say. “And I’ll introduce you to the unbeatable combination of gummy bears and ice cream.”

“What are—?”

You laugh, taking his hand and rising onto your toes to peck his cheek. “Just trust me. You’ll love it.” 

[n0vazsq]

Moon, a hole of light | JB22 x SV5

summary . . . Jenson Button and Sebastian Vettel, one of the most esteemed names in Formula 1. Well, their names held a different story than their behaviour. Mischief, troublemaking and much more came with these two. Will the grid be able to survive?

request . . . yes!

word count . . . 1.6k

warnings . . . cursing

alexavia yaps . . . idk if this is good or not bc i literally just put a bunch of ideas together and hoped it was good </3 i accidentaly deleted the first draft so i lost the authors note and summary dni

2010, it was a year to be in F1. Many legends were on the grid, aswell as new rookies striving for greatness. But there was one pair that stood out more than the others, Jenny and Sebby, as they called themselves.

Jen and Seb, another name for them, were the troublemakers and pranksters of the grid. They were either driving or causing trouble, no in between. They made sure their PR Managers lived in misery and vain, but at least they had fun, right?

"SEBASTIAN VETTEL! COME RIGHT HERE!" Jenson's shout came from his driver's room in Mclaren. Seb, who was waiting around the corner grinned and tried to stifle his laugh as he walked over to the driver's room.

Seb slowly opened the door, trying to hold his laughter at the sight in front of him, but then failing. There stood a red-face Jenson Button, but quite literally. His face and body were stained a bright red, his fists clenched and shaking.

It took all his will to not punch Sebastian right then and there.

You'd think that a 30 year old man and a 23 year old would be mature, and have some common sense, right? Well, if you ever met Seb and Jen, you'd instantly know you were wrong. They were even more immature than a pair of 5 year olds, which was a bit surprising.

"I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons, babe" Sang Sebastian to Jenson, who rolled his eyes and shook his head disappointingly.

"I regret teaching you that this song even existed." He muttered, eyes closed and head in his hands.

"Well, too bad. I've already memorised all of it." Laughed Seb, pointing his finger at Jenson in a taunting manner.

"You did not!" Exclaimed Jenson, his eyes comically wide.

"Yes I did!"

"God, what am I going to do with you?" Jenson sighed, his shoulders deflating.

"Nothing, because you're never getting rid of me!" Seb started skipping around him in circles, singing the lyrics to Buttons by The Pussycat Dolls.

"God please help me." 

"A beekeeper?!"Jenson shouted, his jaw almost on the floor.

"What's wrong  with being a beekeeper?" Seb shouted back, his arms going across his chest defensively.

"That's so...adorable and cutesy! It does not  fit you!"

"Yes it does!" Seb argued, his voice slightly cracking.

"Does not!"

"Does"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Shut up!"

"Jeez, way to stop an argument." Jenson laughed, blowing air out of his mouth.

"Fuck off, Jen. You want to be a DILF."

"Why’s my entire table filled with… carrots?" Seb stared at the small mountain of carrots spilling out as he opened his locker.

Jenson strolled into the room, arms crossed, leaning casually against the doorframe with a smirk. "Just making sure you’re eating healthy. Thought you could use a bit of beta-carotene, mate."

Seb rolled his eyes, grabbing a handful of carrots and shoving them into Jenson’s arms. "Fine, but you’re eating them with me. Enjoy your five-a-day."

"Why is there glitter… everywhere?" Jenson asked, his voice barely holding back a mix of rage and laughter as he opened his driver’s bag to find every item coated in a thick layer of sparkles.

Seb was practically bent over in silent laughter, barely able to breathe. "It’s called adding flair, Jen. A little sparkle in your life never hurt."

Jenson held up his helmet, which was covered in glitter, and just shook his head. "You're dead, Vettel. You better start running now."

During one race weekend, Jenson was doing a live interview, being the picture of professionalism, answering questions and playing the PR game as usual. But right on the edge of the frame, Seb popped up wearing a pair of sunglasses and holding a cardboard sign that said, 'Free Hugs from Jenson.'

Without any hint of annoyance or surprise, Jenson smirked at the camera and pointed behind him. "Alright, guys, you heard him. Go find Seb if you want hugs. Might be the only time he’s offering them to the public."

During a fan Q&A, a young fan asked Jenson how he would describe Seb in three words.

Jenson looked at Seb, pretending to be in deep thought. "Hmm… a bee loving menace."

Seb grinned, crossing his arms. "Best description I’ve ever had. What would you be?"

"Easy," Jenson replied with a grin. "Seb’s number one fan."

The audience burst into laughter, and Seb dramatically placed a hand over his heart. “Aww, Jen, you shouldn’t have!"

"Sebastian, what’s your proudest achievement in F1 so far?" a journalist asked during a media day.

Seb was mid-sentence, talking about his wins, when Jenson appeared out of nowhere, a huge smirk on his face. "Oh, I can tell you. It’s definitely pranking me with a cardboard cutout of myself in my hotel room at 3 a.m. Nearly gave me a heart attack."

Seb burst out laughing. "It was life-sized! I figured you’d love the surprise!"

"Oh, I loved it," Jenson replied sarcastically. "Especially when I walked in and saw myself staring back at me. Almost had to call security."

Then there was the time when Seb was asked if he ever got nervous before races.

"No, not really," Seb replied calmly, then paused as Jenson slid into the shot behind him, eyebrows raised.

"Are we forgetting Singapore? 2009? Because I remember somebody pacing around like a madman that morning, muttering something about needing more breakfast."

Seb glared at him, trying to stifle his grin. "I wasn’t nervous! I was… focused."

"Right, focused on finding an extra croissant," Jenson said, leaning into the mic. "He was unstoppable once he got it."

In a rare joint interview, Jenson and Seb sat down with a reporter, who knew that having these two together would be nothing short of entertaining chaos. The interviewer barely got to her first question before things went to chaos.

"So, Jenson," she began with a smile, "how do you and Seb keep such a good dynamic? I mean, you're known as one of the most iconic duos in the paddock, but there's clearly some… competitive spirit there."

Jenson gave a small chuckle, glancing over at Seb, who already had a smug grin. "Well, I think it’s because we’ve both come to terms with the fact that we'll never stop pranking each other."

Seb scoffed, leaning back in his chair. "Me? I’m the one who’s just a tiny bit competitive? Remember Monaco, Jen? You may as well have had steam coming out of your ears by the end of that one."

"Don’t act innocent, Seb," Jenson shot back, eyebrows raised. "Who was the one who replaced my car’s steering wheel with a pink one with ‘Princess’ written on it?"

Seb laughed, clearly proud of his prank. "Oh, come on! You did look quite royal with it."

The interviewer was grinning ear to ear, clearly loving their dynamic. "Okay, okay, let’s settle this! What’s the biggest prank you two have pulled on each other?"

Seb’s eyes sparkled, leaning forward like he’d been waiting for this question."That’s easy. Spain, last season. He had this brand new helmet design he’d been bragging about for weeks. It had all these fancy graphics, and he wouldn’t stop talking about it."

Jenson’s eyes widened as he realized what Seb was about to reveal. "Don’t you dare, Seb!"

"Oh, I’m telling them," Seb said, grinning. "So, I may have… slightly changed his helmet."

"Slightly?" Jenson cut in, exasperated. "You replaced my name with a cartoon donkey and slapped a rainbow on it!"

Seb was barely able to keep a straight face. "And it looked amazing. He didn’t realize it until he was already at the track, visor down, ready for the press photos."

Jenson shook his head, grinning despite himself. "Every photographer at the track got a picture of that disaster. You know how hard it was to live that down?"

The interviewer was in stitches, barely able to get her next question out. "Alright, Jenson, what’s the biggest prank you’ve pulled on Seb?"

"Oh, this one was good," Jenson said, rubbing his hands together like he was planning a grand scheme. "It was right before Silverstone, and Seb had just gotten this new superstitious thing about his driver’s suit. Something about ‘needing it perfectly creased’ for luck."

Seb rolled his eyes. "Don’t remind me."

"So, I… may have swapped his suit with one that was three sizes too small and had bright neon green stitching." Jenson shrugged, feigning innocence. "I figured if he really needed luck, he’d work with whatever he had."

Seb slapped his forehead, laughing. "I couldn’t even breathe in that thing! I walked around like a robot all morning until someone finally told me where he’d put my actual suit."

The interviewer chuckled, leaning in. "Do you two ever get tired of the pranks? I mean, don’t they ever just get exhausting?"

Seb and Jenson exchanged a look, then shook their heads in unison.

"It’s like an unspoken rule at this point," Jenson explained. "He pranks me, I prank him back. Keeps things interesting. And the paddock seems to find it entertaining." (he push me i push him back)

Seb nodded, adding, "And, hey, it makes those PR events a little less boring. Like that one event in Monaco where he wouldn’t stop complaining about the heat, so I ‘helped’ by swapping his water bottle with sparkling lemonade. Thought he’d appreciate the upgrade."

Jenson shot Seb a look. "Upgrade? Seb, it was carbonated. I sprayed half of it all over my suit before I realized it."

"Good times," Seb said, smiling like it was a fond memory.

The interviewer’s eyes twinkled with excitement as she moved on to her next question. "Alright, last one! If you could describe each other in one sentence, what would it be?"

Seb tapped his chin, pretending to think deeply. "Oh, that’s easy. Jenson is the most patient man on the planet… for putting up with me."

Jenson laughed, leaning back in his chair. "You got that right."

"And what about you, Jenson?" the interviewer asked, curious.

Jenson looked at Seb with a playful glint in his eye. "Sebastian Vettel… the grid’s biggest headache, but somehow my best friend."

Seb looked mock offended. "Hey, I prefer ‘legendary troublemaker.’"

They both burst out laughing, and the interviewer shook her head, thoroughly entertained. "Alright, I think we’ve got enough stories to keep F1 fans laughing for weeks!"

[blackcatxmagic]

Ludwig wasn’t like Brook had imagined at all. He was extremely handsome, but he had this goofy side that Brook found really endearing, and it was like his smile was infectious. As Ludwig talked about his costume, the glee on his face had Brook smiling just as wide - and it helped that Ludwig had said he’d make a cute lumberjack. But then Brook saw the way Ludwig’s attitude changed, how he talked about some of the struggles of growing up where he did, and Brook felt for the guy. “That must have been really hard,” he said. “Even if you didn’t quite know what you were missing at the time, just the restrictions and all of that. It’s like living in black in white when the rest of the world is in color.” Then Brook thought that might have been going too far, so he apologized, “I’m sorry. That was kind of harsh. I mean, that’s your home. I shouldn’t be talking about it that way.” He hoped he had offended Ludwig. “I think that makes sense though,” Brook added. “It’s like you’re experiencing a second childhood.”

Glad to be on a happy memory again, Brook laughed at Ludwig’s remark. “We’ll have to make sure that doesn’t happen so we can keep you alive,” he said with a laugh. “But you know, I bet the hangover was worth the celebration.” When Ludwig explained how he could tell that he was Romanian, Brook replied, “You know, that makes sense. Sometimes I do slip into a bit of an accent because of listening to my mom. She never quite lost it.” It was more how he said certain words than whole sentences, but Brook kind of liked that about himself, like he had traces of his homeland within him. The moment he heard Ludwig’s fake accent, Brook started to laugh. “Are you sure you’re not from New York?” Brook teased, still laughing about it. “You just have a way of bring laughter into a situation, don’t you, Ludwig?” Brook asked, but it was more of a statement of fact than a question. Shaking his head, Brook answered, “No. I would like to go, but I’ve always been so busy. I never had the time back in Salem.” What Brook didn’t say was that he had purposely made it that way, that he clung to a rigid schedule because the structure helped keep him in line. “I probably have the time now though actually, but…it’s kind of a scary prospect. What if I’ve overhyped it in my mind?”

"You're welcome," he said earnestly "I think you'll find a lot of people here have their own skeleton's, so you won't have to worry about too many curious minds." There were, however, a few nosey people in town much like everywhere, but for the most part people didn't pry into the past. "That's a great idea! You'd make a very cute lumberjack."

"Yes, really!" Ludwig beamed and stood up straight, pretending to bring out the hose of a Proton Pack that wasn't actually there, "Yeah? When I lived in Germany, Dresden was in a Soviet....uh," he trailed off, trying to think of the English equivalent "statehood. So we didn't have anything cool like Ghostbusters or.... any good movies, really. So I enjoy.... stuff like that." He blushed and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly "I know that sounds really childish.. but, I do sometimes feel like a kid experiencing things for the first time." It was bittersweet. He now had access to so much media and the rest of the world in general, so it was a great feeling but he could sometimes feel sad for his former self. The little Ludwig inside of him who never got any of these things, like most 'normal' children. "Yes, it is! Very good." He paused, "You're crazy, Brook. You have to watch it!"

Ludwig smiled, a sad and small one as he listened to Brook talk about listening to the fall. "That's very sweet, I'm glad we had so many supporters, even in America. It was really hard times back then." He was lucky enough to at least see it on the television at one of the local bars. He smiled whenever he thought of that memory. Everyone in the packed building cheering in delight, congratulating their favorite German transplant. He thought about how many shots he had been given to him as a celebratory gesture. He groaned, "I had the worst hangover of my life the next day. If they ever decided to put it back up and knock it down again, I don't think I would survive."

He couldn't help but tick his head back as he let out a chuckle. Ludwig wasn't about to admit why it was that he could tell, so he shrugged his shoulders and leaned forward, saying "Ah! It's easy, I'm European. It's like how people from America would be able to tell immediately that someone is from Texas... Or say, New York." He attempted his best New Yorker accent, which he thought was very good, obvious by the smirk on his lips. But, it was not. "Dragoş? That's nice, it suits you. Mine is just my old man's name, nothing special like that. Precious peace." He repeated, quietly. His was the German equivalent of John, almost as basic as he could get. "Have you ever been able to visit? Romania."

[codecicle]

If you don't mind me asking how did you get top surgery at 15? Not that there's a problem with that! Its just really cool thay you were able to, i dont think ive heard of that before

Ah, really it was all the work of my wonderful amazing mother! In all honesty, I would never be even CLOSE to being this happy if it wasn't for her and everything she did to keep me safe and let me transition. Short answer: I got lucky with living in the transgender shield of New York because my parents are rad and moved us up there

Long answer: Quite a few things actually! For starters, I was lucky enough to live in a state that allowed it, and I had proof of being dysphoric from a young age through therapy records and mental health checks. (<- not Necessary, but definitely helped my case! the government LOVESS the mentally ill lmfao) Really when medically transitioning, you need a few things on a list.

1: A letter of recommendation from a therapist (I've been through Several, so no problem there! Just need proof from a mental health professional that you are who you say you are, and you're not going to regret the change)

2: A letter from your general practioner/medical provider, signing off on the surgery (this will actually happen Several Times. but you need one to start off the whole thing)

3: If you're a minor, proof that you're fully developed puberty-wise, through a physical exam with your doctor!

Then, you take all of those to a plastic surgeon. I had an amazing doctor that took wonderful care of me and did a perfect job with the surgery, and I'd really recommend doing a metric shit-ton of research on whatever surgeon you end up choosing! The best bet most often is whatever other trans people recommend. This surgeon will then sign off on it, and you'll book some dates. In my case, there was 2 pre-op meetings! One where they looked at my chest and decided on the best procedure to use, and one where they had my mother fill out consent forms and book the date of the final surgery. (Again, assuming it's a minor like me going through this process, it's likely they haven't been through a surgery before! So there might be one more appointment with a doctor where they check your general muscle strength and how well you'll recover from the anesthetic/surgery in general. Really easy check-up, that typically functions as a less invasive physical)

It's a long, time consuming process that's very fuckin expensive lmao, but I promise you it's worth it. It's so very very worth it. I could go into all the little details of every step of the process and all the hoops I jumped through, but it can and will vary from person to person! Again, I just got very very very goddamn lucky with a family that supports me and was willing to help me as much as they have. Im the luckiest guy on the planet I'm pretty sure. Everyday I get to wake up in the body I've always wanted to have and feel amazing about it.

[pathos-logical]

Do you know of any resources or posts specifically about captioning comics? I am very new to this, but I love comics and I make comics so I want to learn how to caption them properly. Thank you for your blog and all you do!

Delighted you asked this, since it gives me the excuse to share one of my top favorite posts about exactly that!!! I used @/TheQueerWithoutFear's addition in this post as a personal bible when starting out with art IDs! I think this post also has advice which is generally applicable to lots of comic IDs, since people can get bogged down writing every single detail of a piece when the broad strokes would do and thus detract from the overall comprehensibility of an ID. I also really appreciate this site as a great resource for examples on how to write concisely and with an audience in mind, and this post also lays out a lot of good tips! I'll round out this post with some general advice/guidelines:

Neither alt text nor caption IDs are better or even necessarily more accessible than the other; what matters is good formatting (so please don't put IDs below a readmore or use anything but plain text, use sentence case and primarily formal language, use brackets and "ID/End ID" formatting for caption IDs but omit them from alt, etc!)

For comics, especially long ones, I personally favor conciseness over strict fidelity to art, though this is highly subjective and depends on the piece and sometimes my mood. What I would boil this down to is that you don't need to include every detail in a piece to write a good ID, and using narration/prose is often more understandable than transcribing visual techniques (Ex: "She notices something to the side" is clearer and more succinct than "Action lines next to her face indicate she saw something to the side")

Organizing an ID's information in a top-down format is best for comprehensibility: start with who/what is featured (and where they're from, if applicable) and what they're doing, and then move on to background, style, and details

Last, you're welcome, and thank YOU so much for reaching out!! Artists like you make the world go round!! Please feel free to reach out if you ever have more questions, and have a wonderful day!!!