#not sure if that’s an appropriate tag but I think it’s worth putting it there

[54625]

I'm not sure if this is the end for the QSMP, but I wouldn't be surprised if it were shut down soon after this.

The eggs have been the lifeblood of the server since they were introduced, and having some of them permanently gone from the server is devastating for so many reasons, and bodes terribly for the future of this project. My optimism has run out. I will still wait for updates but I have no hope.

However, I wanted to write a piece for the community here on Tumblr. I know we're all very emotional right now, because while we have no confirmation that the QSMP will permanently close, we now have good reason to assume there might just be no other clear path out of this.

To the community:

Do not feel like you have to stop loving the server and everything it created. Do not stop creating art. Do not stop sharing why you loved the characters and the story and the world.

To completely boycott everything QSMP, you are discrediting the incredible work that the admins put into the server purely out of passion and the kindness of their hearts. Do not waste their sacrifices. Talk about the server and everything they did for it, give them recognition, let them know we love and appreciate all the time and care they poured into this project. Thank them by caring about their work that they put so much of themselves into.

To completely boycott everything QSMP, you are ignoring the beautiful friendships it created between content creators who otherwise would never have met, and the way it ignited such a fierce determination to learn about others' cultures in them. You are forgetting how much these streamers strived to tell engaging, relatable, fun stories, by themselves or with each other, and to have their fans talk about how much they liked their newest lore. You are refusing to acknowledge the effort put in by everyone on the project to tell amazing stories through the language barrier.

And to completely boycott the QSMP, you are denying yourself the fact that you loved this server; the eggs, the streamers, the stories, the cultural events, the laughter, the sadness, the friendships, the ship ships, the builds, the mods, the languages. You are part of this server for enjoying it's wonderful vitality and beauty and hilarity. As a community, we all are.

I have had my gripes with the QSMP fanbase, as anyone has gripes with the dysfunctional mad household they live in, but at the end of the day, I love it so much. This has been my first time actually being part of a fandom; interacting with people and sharing my art and my ideas, getting into silly debates and arguments, running my mouth off more than I should. I love this bizarre toxic fandom for all of it's worth; I love the fanfic writers (even if I think their characterisation is terrible), I love the fanartists (even if they give Pac those yellow scleras that always make me think of jaundice), I love the live bloggers (even if they clog up the main tag), I love the people who write analysis, the people who make animations and animatics, the people who webweave, and all the other things people in this fandom do to interact with the media we all collectively love and bond over.

We do not need to let this be the end of our community, as we can still share our admiration for the hard work put into this project, lift each other up, express praise where it is warranted.

And we can talk to each other, we can vent about how this has negatively effected us (provided we tag it appropriately 👁️👁️) and respond in kind to those seeking someone to speak to who relates.

The QSMP taught us the value of communication. While behind the scenes, it itself did not abide by it's own rules, we can. The QSMP itself is not the figurehead of communication; the content creators and the fans it sent this message to are. We can be an example of what the QSMP should have stood for.

I do not love the deeply flawed execution of the QSMP, but with my whole heart I love the idea; the ambition, the goal. It was noble. It, to some extent, worked.

It united communities.

Let it unite ours.

[plantoyoon]

New experiences. part 3

This is more related to part. 1 - first section (maybe at some point I'll arrange it differently)

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Synopsis: You need someone to help you with your needs

Genre/Tags: First time meeting, Friends with benefits, maybe soul bound

Sexting, Smut, 18+

You open the conversation once again after the flood of thoughts.

“I thought about you, I touched myself thinking about you last week. Thought about writing, but I knew you wouldn’t want to hear from me… so I didn’t. “

“So my assumption that you thought about me was right. I typed another text last week, but didn’t have the courage to send it.”

”Seems we both think about each other at the same time.” said Yoongi.

”Maybe even pleasuring at the same time.” super bold of you to say this. But you can't stop yourself, coming to the realisation that Yoongi thought about you, makes your body tense and hot. Soft shivers running in random parts of your body. It seems he still has that effect on you, turning you on with just a few words that bring the anticipation of something more.

He changes the subject and asks how have you been, but you're still not ready to get over the old sensation that were rewired into your body. And you type`Seems like you still have the same effect on me, making me feel frisky just like that. ``

``I can say the same for you. Wasn't expecting that honestly after all this time.`` answers Yoongi.

Now you feel ready to answer his more normal question: ''I've been focused on work, insanely focused on it. How have you been?''

He answers on an equivalent note: I've been quite imersed in my work also, but this is my life. Same old things.'' He sends you a picture with his workplace and you fet the feeling you're invading so you think about leaving the conversation. ''Alright, cool. I'll let you do your own thing.''

''I don't think you understand what you did to me, I'm hard now. I was expecting this too happen because all the pleasure that now runs through my mind.'' and with his words he just puts your body on fire. You think how wild your body reacts to these words, you'd have definitely cringed on another chat with another guy, but with Yoongi feels different.

You see him typing and typing but not sending so you decide to inquire: so... you want to say something?

'I'm just thinking and remembering you. I don't think it's appropriate to say this, but I have just sex and work on my mind.'' Of course he does, but it doesn't seem to bother you, you already know no good things would come out of this. But sex with Yoongi it's definitely worth it.''

You type ''It is. I want you!''

''Naughty little girl. Have to show me how naughty you are.'' he gets bold with his texts too, bolder than you remember.

''Allow me to.'' you play into his story.

''Yes, naughty and dirty. Just the way we like it.''

and you wonder once again, how comes he makes you feel like this with his crass words, with his dirty talk, with his bold way of assuming that both of you like it the same why. The most devastatingly part is that he is right, it is just the way you like it. You two are perfect for each other, same issues, same solvings, same desires, same resolving. His hands perfectly fitting on your body and his words flowing throught your mind rivers like they're at home.

''I want you riding my face, Y/N.''

''Just the way we like it.'' you repeat. ''Please me as long as you want. I want to hear your moans against my cunt.''

''I want you to cream in my mouth like a good girl, Y/N.'' This man will bring you death, will make you insane for sure, but the desire you have of him is impossible to let you think straight.

''A good girl you say?''

''You are my good girl, you're so perfect while I spank your ass and fuck it.''

''Yes, please. I'll be so good, spoil me.''

''How good you say you going to be?''

''The best girl, perfect behaviour.''

''Y/N, of course if you promite to be good, I'll treat you right. You know me and how I like to take care of you.''

Your mind is hazy now, dizzy with lust and lost once again in his way of getting under your skin.

''If I wasn't in Japan, I would have invited you to my place. But now we have to boil on the small fire untill i return.''

''Not the right timing again. We don't know how to cook.'' you joke, forgetting he is quite good at cooking actually. '' We're getting to far.'' you continue.

''Of course, we always go far with everything. Lets meet when I get back, I would like too. Only if you want, Y/N.'' Yoongi replies with a hug and kiss emoji at the end.

You want to meet him, you know that if he would say let's meet now. You would find a way. He has that insane effect on you. At the same time you feel your choiches might be reckles. You think too yourself how much you cried last time you stopped talking because he wasn't ready for the relationship.

Will you be able to go through this again?! So you type a bit arrogantly: ''Maybe I want to, but don't get too ahead of yourself!''

[peachpety]

Upon reflecting this past year, I’m reminded of one area as a fandom citizen that i am lacking - reading fic. And so was born an idea to canvas my fandom family and friends to share with me a fic they've written, art they've created, a podfic they've recorded in 2023 of which they are most proud.

This two part 'rec yourself' list is the result.

Part One features Drarry creations (heavily featured since that's my OTP). Part Two (here) includes a kick-ass mix of various HP ships and ships from other fandoms, including Carry On, Check Please!, Good Omens, Teen Wolf, and Stranger Things. Also, and most importantly, each entry presents a smol blurb from the creator about why they chose their particular piece as their 2023 favorite.

For ease in reading, I've also placed all submitted works posted to AO3 into a filterable bookmark collection, Rec Yourself 2023. Be aware that there's a range of ratings and archive/creator tags, so please, take appropriate responsibility for your personal consumption. And please also be sure to shower the creators with kudos and lovely comments.

Y'all. This endeavor has been a fucking blast. One thing's for sure, I am blessed, humbled and honored to know a whole bunch of fantastic, brilliant, fun folks. Big love to you all, and thank you for participating.

So go forth. Indulge and enjoy! xo peach

* * *

✩ @pato-roldnart ✩ Quiet as a mouse HP | Viktor Krum x Ron Weasely | ART | G rating | Unleashed!Fest 2023 I'm quite proud of this one, I don't know how I made it, I had never drawn them before! My mind went full "oh yeah ronvik " Also, I like the idea of them bonding over their pets and Ron seeing that Viktor cares about something else that is not Quidditch.

✩ @tontonguetonks ✩ Coffee and a Croissant HP Next Gen | Scorpius x Albus | 903 FIC | G rating There are parts of myself and my lived experience in every story and character I write—how I socialize, how I take my coffee… I can’t help it. In *Coffee and a Croissant*, I put a lot of myself in my ace and autistic Albus. He is very dear to me in this story, and in my Fizzy Lifting Drinks drabble. The fic is just a toe-dip in the Soulmate waters where Albus grapples with what to do if he is someone’s Soulmate, but they’re not his. Parts 2 and 3 are in the works, but there is no timeline on either of them. Maybe in 2024?

✩ @crazybutgood ✩ I Bloom Pink For You HP | Narcissa Malfoy x Pansy Parkinson | 993 FIC + ORIGAMI COMIC | M rating | HP Bodice Ripper Fest 2023 This whole idea came about because I got so excited to fold a corset for hp bodice ripper fest, realised I couldn't just submit that one thing, and started brainstorming more loose ideas. It all clicked together when I was inspired by a fic by @schmem14, whose writing I adore. I was so grateful and even more excited when Em gave permission to make this. From there started the self-indulgent process of folding fancy things with fancier papers for this origami comic, and I couldn't have done it without Em and my lovely support team.

✩ @seekercass ✩ Something Cosmic HP | Cedric x Draco x Harry | 1.7k FIC | M rating | Polyship Week 2022 A self-rec that I am still extremely proud of is a short fic written for Polyshipping Week 2022 called Something Cosmic. It's a small coda to Something Good to Always Keep, another fic that I wrote for Quidditch Fest 2021 that I cherish very much. Even though writing is still hard for me these days, I often think about this 'verse and what life is like for Harry, Draco and Cedric after they graduated from Oxford. These three and slice of life bring me such joy. I hope to write more of them.

✩ @roseharpermaxwell ✩ Sounds Worth It HP | Hermione x Draco | 5k FIC | T rating | D/Hr Advent 2023 Being nominated for d/hr advent was a sweet surprise. It gave me a good excuse to remember how to write and the nudge I needed to create something this year.

✩ @basicallyahedgehog ✩ (They) Keep Me Warm HP | Hermione x Harry x Ron | 5.8k FIC | E rating | HP Trans Fest 2023 This was my transfest fic - I wrote it as a love letter to all my trans and Enby friends and as a way of processing some of my own feelings. It’s my first (and so far only) foray into poly golden trio and I loved playing with their dynamics with that added layer to their relationship.

✩ @lumosatnight ✩ For I Have Found Salvation HP | Harry x Severus | 7.1k FIC | E rating | Snarry AUctoberfest 2023 Although this is a smut fic at its core, I tried really hard to make the pacing flow, bringing in background characters, and creating memorable imagery. I am very proud of how it turned out. However, this is probably my favorite fic from 2023 simply for the fact that I had the most fun writing it!

✩ @sugareey-makes-stuff ✩ Feel You Breathing Teen Wolf | Derek Hale x Stiles Stilinski | 8.4k TEXTING FIC | E rating | 2023 Year of the OTP This is my fav 2023 piece because I learned how to create a custom text message AO3 skin, stylize things for plain text reading, and I wrote a whole story  that had some plot that was told through text messages. Also, I did not know I could achieve so much spiciness and throw in so many bad pick-up lines through this medium, but hey, the more you know! XD

✩ @schmem14 ✩ Mastermind HP | Harry x Ron; Draco x Harry; Ron x Draco | 10.7k FIC | E rating | Dronarry Fest 2023 This is one of the few times a story just flew out of me. Possessive stalker Draco sets out to win over Ron in this creepy thriller, but there’s a catch: Ron is already in love with Draco’s boyfriend, Harry.

✩ @drwhoisginnyholmes & @fledglinger ✩ Not Bad, For A 6000 Year Old Classic! Good Omens | Aziraphale x Crowley | 11.8k FIC + ART | E rating | DIWS Reverse! Reverse! Mini Bang

✩ @sniperjade ✩ The Sounds of Us HP Marauders | Regulus x Remus | 20.4k FIC | M rating | Remus Lupin Fest 2023; HPFC Spring Fling 2023 I've been thinking about this for a couple of days and whilst I would really love to say it was the drarry I wrote for this fest last year my favourite would have to be this moonseeker I wrote for Remus Lupin Fest last year. It's my favourite because I lived this fic. It became the entirety of my personality for a whole month because I desperately needed to get to the chapter where Regulus was riding on Padfoots back, through the forbidden forest, with only the light of the full moon to guide them, just to try and help Remus. It's also just because it's very musical and I'm very musical so that makes me love it all the more.

✩ @ghaniblue ✩ Sleeping With Ghosts HP | Regulus x Draco x Harry | 21.9k FIC | M rating | Harry Potter Rare Pair Fest IV I posted a Regulus/Harry/Draco fic last month that I'm very fond of. I started writing it more than 1 1/2 years ago, before I ever read a single Regulus fic. It's triad fic, and I'm pretty proud of the way the individual relationships develop. That was important to me, and I think I succeeded. Posting the first fic on ao3 with this triad tag doesn't hurt either.

✩ @celilasart & @wolfspurr ✩ Shifted Teen Wolf | Derek Hale x Stiles Stilinski | 25k FIC + ART | T rating | Sterek Reverse Bang This work was created for sterek reverse bang, a collaboration fest where the artists create first and the writers write second. wolfspurr and I just clicked when we talked about my art and the things that it inspired in their writer brain ;D the result is just an amazingly sweet and wholesome fic, that is still set in the teenwolf universe as we know it. but unlike many other fics which are full of violence and danger, this one starts with a bang and then it is a beautifully woven story of two people who just complete each other. also... the working title for my art was: tiny fox & sour wolf.

✩ @orange-peony ✩ At the speed of light Carry On | Basilton Pitch x Simon Snow | 26.3k FIC | E rating I picked [this fic] because I had a lot of fun writing it! It started off as a drabble and ended up 26k because I just had a blast writing it and the fandom support was so lovely. Last but not least, Pato made an absolutely stunning art piece for this fic, and it was the best present ever.

✩ @wynnyfryd ✩ i don’t know, you figure it out Stranger Things | Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson | 35.4k WIP FIC | E rating bragging about yourself is difficult, but i’ll just say it’s my favorite because i’m proud of myself for sticking to one project for this long, i love all the artwork the fic has inspired, and i just think the line “the river styx must taste like pennies” fucks severely lmao.

✩ @decaflondonfog ✩ growing pains Check Please! | Eric Bittle x Kent Parson | 50k FIC | T rating i am not usually a long fic gal, which i think is in part lack of patience, but also how attached i get to a universe if i’m working on it for a longer period of time. i finished writing this back in june but this fic felt very “me” in many ways and i think about them so often still  so it’s definitely my 2023 creation i’m proudest of!

[laundrybiscuits]

(young man what do you wanna be tag)

“I’m pretty sure Steve is trying to kill me,” says Eddie.

“I’m pretty sure he’s not,” says Jonathan. 

“He’s always, like…lurking.” Eddie gestures, fingers fluttering to indicate the shadowy depths of villainy to which Steve Harrington has now sunk. 

Jonathan shrugs. “I think he might just be trying to date you, man.”

“Ehh.” Eddie gives this an appropriate amount of consideration, which is to say none whatsoever. “I’m just saying, last time we had a movie night, he followed me into the kitchen. Just to hang out. You can’t tell me that’s not suspicious.”

“I mean…do you want him to stop? Because I think he’d stop if you said something.” 

Obviously Eddie does not want Steve to stop. Obviously Eddie would very much like Steve to continue being close enough to touch forever, please and thank you. It’s just—Steve keeps saying stuff, completely random shit, like you look really, uh, metal today and tell me about that song you’re working on. It always leaves Eddie off-balance, which he loves and hates with every ounce of his shriveled soul. 

“I can talk to Steve,” Jonathan offers. “Get him to back off.”

“That’s, um. You don’t have to do that,” says Eddie weakly.

“No, man, come on. I told you we’re in your corner, right? For everything, not just the big stuff.” 

Eddie groans. “Okay, Byers, I get it. Jesus, I’m gonna get hives from all this sincerity. Thanks, I love you too or whatever, shut up. And please don’t—um. Please don’t talk to Steve.”

“What, like, ever?” says Argyle, which makes Eddie jump a little; he’d been pretty sure Argyle had been dozing quietly with his head on Jonathan’s lap for the last twenty minutes. 

“Actually, yes,” says Eddie, prodding at Jonathan’s foot. “Please never talk to Steve again for the rest of your natural life. Do this for me, to demonstrate your sincere commitment to supporting the gays.”

“Sorry.” Jonathan kicks back at Eddie, somehow managing not to dislodge Argyle. “If those are my options, I guess I’m homophobic now. You have to be the one to tell Will, though.”

———

“Hey, can I talk to you?” 

“Jonathan’s not actually homophobic,” Eddie blurts out.

Will blinks. “Okay. I mean…good? Wait, did he not know about you?”

“What, no, he knew before any of you little shits did.”

“That definitely isn’t true,” says Will dryly. He sounds a lot like Jonathan right now. “But this isn’t—I just had a question about gay stuff. Sort of.”

“Ask away,” says Eddie graciously, trying to sound wise and benevolent like an ancient gay wizard with all the gay secrets of the gay universe at his disposal.

“It’s just…” Will sighs, looking down. “You’re really, uh, loud. About everything, I mean. And I don’t get why you’re not trying to be…quieter. It just seems like asking for trouble.”

“Here’s the thing about trouble and safety, my young friend,” says Eddie. “There’s nothing we can do to make ourselves easier to swallow. They’ll lie about it and say they’ll put up with us if we just cut off the parts they hate the most, but they hate all of us, so you’re just gonna keep cutting until there’s nothing left. There’s no magical border between the friendly forest full of fluffy bunnies and the deep dark woods full of monsters, because it’s all the same thing.”

Eddie pauses. As gently as he can, he says, “You already know this, Zombie Boy.” He doesn’t miss the way Will flinches. 

“But,” says Will. “Isn’t it, like, a little bit safer?”

“Maybe. Sometimes.” Eddie mulls over his next words, feeling the weight and sharp edges of them in a way he might not have, a year or two ago. Finally, he says, “I think—you gotta decide for yourself what that’s worth. And you also have to know there’s no such thing as completely one hundred percent safe. You can end up making a bunch of little choices that feel like you’re not giving up that much, and end up trapped in a life you hate, just waiting to die. There’s not gonna be one right way to do this, there’s just gonna be ways you can live with yourself and ways you can’t.”

The part he’s not saying to Will is that he’s also loud so other people don’t have to be. 

When he was a freshman, so many years ago now, there’d been this girl—a real bull dyke, you know? Buzzed hair and men’s shirts and work boots. Her locker had had filth shoved in it and written on it pretty much every day, and one time—well, one time, some bad stuff had happened. Almost happened. A teacher had come along just in time, from what Eddie had heard. She’d walked into school the very next day wearing a leather jacket draped over her stocky frame, gorgeously defiant. 

To Eddie, she’d been a beacon of survival. A walking, talking proof that if you’re willing to pay the price, you can be yourself without compromise. 

She’d seemed so mature and worldly to him back in 1980, but now Will’s almost as old as she’d been at the time. Eddie would burn the fucking world down before he let anyone try that shit with Will, and he knows Jonathan and Argyle would too, but they can’t follow him around like guard dogs for the rest of his life. 

So instead, he can just be the thing he’s shaped himself to be, and draw fire. Better to be a lightning rod, standing tall, than to let some other poor sucker get dragged into the spotlight before they’re ready. Nobody’s gonna fuck with Eddie too bad, probably. He’s already got a reputation. He’s Eddie fucking Munson, he’s a cockroach, he survived the worst the underworld could muster and he’s got the scars to prove it. He can take whatever shit they want to throw at him. Wants it, even, because it means something to be the guy they hate. There’s power in that: in walking back into the lion’s den wearing a leather jacket, head held high. 

He doesn’t think Will’s going to learn to relish it the way Eddie does. They’re too different, at their cores. But they’re similar enough that Will’s nodding slowly like it makes sense to him; like he gets what Eddie’s trying so clumsily to say. 

“You don’t have to be the way I am,” Eddie says. “But whatever you decide to be, do it on purpose, and do the hell out of it. Don’t fucking settle for some halfway kind of life. Think you can manage that, Byers?”

“Probably not,” says Will. “But—I’ll try. Thanks, I guess.”

This mentor shit is easy, Eddie thinks victoriously. No big thing at all.

[kingofterrors]

Alright now I'm going to get spoilery - tagged appropriately, but just in case you don't blacklist spoiler tags, here's your warning! Agatha All Along Ep 5 thoughts below!

***

There's a famous adage - "better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt". That's usually me and any kind of analysis I'm not pretty damn sure about. However, I'm taking a risk and putting my clown makeup on here, because I think it's worth it.

If I'm wrong, this will just look like tremendous cope, and I guess I'll just embrace that.

But if I'm right...

So let's get down to it. I've seen a lot of disappointment expressed around ep5, and I understand and share it. It was short, it felt weird, people felt oddly out of character. It is absolutely entirely possible that the creative team and Laura Monti (the writer) in particular just had an off day and put out something sub-par. It happens.

But I have trust in this team and this production, and I don't think they'd slip that badly - which means something else must be going on.

So here's my theory on what that might be: let's start with the question: 'why did Teen take Agatha down the Witches' Road?' It didn't need to be Agatha. Any bunch of witches might have done it. But he chose her. Now we've had that reveal at the end of the ep, we know that Teen is in fact Billy Maximoff, Wiccan, and we also know that he has SERIOUS history with Agatha.

I wonder if the Road, and this 'trial' in particular might be Teen's attempt to either punish Agatha (lest we forget, something that was explicitly demanded in this trial), or perhaps teach her a lesson. The content of this 'trial' was fully about hitting Agatha's most vulnerable points (relationship with Mother apart from anything else) and highlighting what someone might assume is Agatha's worst sin - her siphoning power out of other witches.

Could it be that Teen is using this as a setup to really get at Agatha, to confront her about his perceived ideas about her lust for power and her callousness towards others? I'm specifically thinking of how Agatha heads out of the trial and is clearly upset, and when Teen confronts her, is absolutely nakedly clear that she hadn't been able to control the siphoning of power that killed Alice? There's no hint that she's lying - she seems fully convinced that she wasn't in control of any of that happening.

Yet Teen insists she was in control, and chose to do that. Is that because that's what he thinks about her power in general? Because he thinks that Agatha has always chosen to steal power and life from other witches - so he made that happen by manipulating the scenario and everyone in it.

The OOC-ness of the witches really begins at a specific moment - after we get the 'punish Agatha' reveal. Could this be Teen controlling them and everything in that scenario just like Wanda did in Westview? Is that what Agatha means by 'You're so like your mother'?

So that's what I'm thinking. I'm fully prepared to honk my big red nose if next episode makes it clear none of this is the case, but until then, what if...?

[amethystina]

Watching The Devil Judge eps 5 and 6 again and I completely forgot about Ga On and motorbikes. Do you think that now after the show with Professor Min, he would start to ride one again if he got the chance?

Also, I absolutely love you're fics and the tags you add to them! Every time you add an updated my whole day gets better

I think he might, depending on how his life plays out. In that way where I don't think that's something he'd prioritise unless someone pushed him to try it again, you know?

Because I think Ga On would tell himself that he's "grown up" now, so he shouldn't have those kinds of hobbies. Not only does a motorcycle cost a lot, but he's supposed to be a responsible and respectable member of society etc. etc. and all those things Professor Min taught him.

Now, to be fair to Professor Min (definitely a sentence I never thought I'd write), I don't think he meant that all motorcycles are inherently bad, but he definitely got frustrated with the way Ga On was using his. Because, clearly, he was driving recklessly and getting into trouble. They were at a police station, for heaven's sake x'D If Ga On had had a bike and not gotten into trouble, I'm not sure if Professor Min would have cared either way.

But it probably left a lasting impression on Ga On and so some part of him still thinks that motorbikes are a frivolous and irresponsible thing for him to own.

Which is where Yo Han comes in.

Because Kang "Look at my collection of ridiculously expensive luxury cars" Yo Han would disagree. And would definitely try to convince Ga On to get a new one. Because, in Yo Han's mind, if there's something Ga On enjoys and something Ga On wants, Ga On should have it. He couldn't care less about whether or not it's proper and, slowly but surely, would chip away at Ga On's conviction that it's a bad idea.

I mean, Yo Han offhandedly offers to get Ga On a motorcycle in chapter 29 of Who Holds the Devil as a way to tease him, but Yo Han is 100% serious. And he definitely meant it when he said he'd bring it up again at a more appropriate time. He's not going to let that go, partly because he thinks that Ga On deserves the world and wants to give him anything he could possibly desire, but also because Yo Han can guess why Ga On seems to think it would be a bad idea. That's to say, that it's tied to the expectations that have been put on Ga On by the people around him to always be calm and righteous and perfect and not Ga On.

And Yo Han has made it one of his life's missions to undo as much of the harm Professor Min (and Soo Hyun, to some degree) has caused Ga On's self-worth and perception of himself and the world.

And you know what Yo Han is like when he's set his mind on something.

Ga On is getting a new motorcycle — sooner rather than later.

So yes, I do think Ga On would start to ride again, but he kind of needs someone to tell him it's okay first? Or maybe it could happen gradually on its own, too, but I think it would take years in that case. Yo Han's way is definitely faster xD

And thank you so much, darling! 💜 I'm currently trying to write chapter 42 of Who Holds the Devil but I admit it's slow going. Work has been hectic this week and the resulting fever is no joke. But I'm chipping away at it! :D

[goldeneyedgirl]

TwiFicmas23 Day 7: Hybrid Jasper

Good evening! Tonight, we have something experimental. I was trying to put together a one-shot that focused on Jasper as a hybrid because I'm equal-opportunity with my nonsense.

It's still in parts, and I'm not sure that I've captured the vibes that I'm aiming for, but we persevere. I kind of love the idea of Jasper being the vulnerable one and Alice being the protective one and wanted to riff on that concept. Some of the 'rules' and world-building are a little iffy at the moment, but first drafts always need a little work.

Thank you to everyone who has read, liked, tagged, and messaged me. Those tags and messages absolutely make my day and I love every single one of them.

I'm off to sleep off this cold, in the hopes that I can recover fast enough to finish off a couple of planned entires <3

on the edge of dawn.

His past is knotted up in secrets and lies. 

And blood, he can’t forget that. 

(It starts and ends in rivers of blood, in so many lives worth of blood, that it would be disingenuous not to acknowledge it.) 

When he meets the eyes of the recruitment officer and tells him that he’s of-age, he’s not lying. He’s been a grown-ass man for a decade now; just because he’s sixteen in human terms is meaningless. He is more than capable of fighting a war. 

(He fights to protect the people that raised him, the cousins who were really his little sisters. He goes to war to make sure that he can send money home, enough to keep them fed and warm and safe. He doesn’t need much, and it’s nothing compared to what they gave him.) 

When he runs afoul of Maria, he expects it to be his death. One that is surprisingly appropriate considering his own origins. Instead, it is a fever that cooks him from the inside out, one that he stays lucid throughout, begging for answers, to explain what is happening for water, to know what has become of his poor horse. He sees a lot of people, strange people, that feel like they are all wrong but he doesn’t know why. 

He thinks of his little sisters, and hopes that they’ll be okay. He saved a lot of his pay, sent it home, so maybe they will. Maybe they won’t go hungry or get sick.

Maria is exceptionally intrigued by him. This man who doesn’t die, who rambles at her, begs her. And even when the fever ebbs, his eyes are still a piercing hazel. He still bleeds and sleeps and breathes. But he feeds on blood, he can move at least as fast as the slowest newborn, and has a gift that he almost effortlessly weaponising. 

He is a marvel, a miracle, a prize. 

So she keeps him, and Jasper is mostly reminded of stories about hell from the Bible. 

(He can never go home again.) 

—

Her visions have shown him since she awoke, but he’s always been very strange in them - like he’s made of smoke and memory, faded and halfway gone. She doesn’t understand it, and it scares her - that very first vision, where he tucks a flower behind her ear and says her name - is her north star, and her touchstone. She doesn’t know who she is without him, and the idea that he could disappear terrifies her to the bone. No one else does that in her visions, and she can’t work it out. 

Then she realises his eyes are hazel. Somehow she missed that little detail as she watched him fight and feed and rule Mexico in Maria’s name. They are such a beautiful shade, impossible for a vampire. 

And then she sees him sleeping, and it terrifies her that he is so vulnerable and unguarded in such a terrible place. She feels sick at it. 

He’s still an enigma, she still has questions, but it’s a clue. It’s something. It helps her shape and frame their future in her mind, knowing that he is not entirely the same as her. 

It makes her feel useful, and that’s a nice feeling. 

—

He remembers his mother a little too well. She had sharp hazel eyes and hair so light it was almost white. She’s already dead by then, washed out and still, and it’s a single frame in his memory. Something he should never be able to remember. But he does. 

(Jasper remembers her best when faced with the bodies. The ones who were taken as a meal, and the ones that don’t survive the change. Bloodless and broken in every way that counts. Her face is always clearest in his mind as he gathers up those dead people, and maybe he remembers his upbringing and says a quick prayer for them. But it doesn’t take long for those prayers to be meaningless mutterings under his breath, part of the routine without any of the meaning.) 

Sometimes he wonders what would have become of him in another life, with his mother perfectly dead. His grandmother had no love for him, not in those earliest days; a pious woman, she would have cast him out young if it hadn’t been for his mother’s brother. 

For a long time, he’s raised by his Uncle Jed. Jed looks at him and seems to see past all the things that shouldn’t be and the things that make him strange, right down to the lost boy he is. 

Jed gives him the family name - Whitlock - and puts him to work on the ranch. It’s a good life, and he likes working with animals, likes that the things that make him different make him useful on the ranch. He likes that he never has to see the old bitch of a grandmother that never let Jasper forget that he was the reason his momma was dead. 

(His momma named him. She picked the name out herself and started embroidering it on a blanket because she became too ill. That’s something he tucks in the back of his mind, that possibility that maybe she didn’t hate him, maybe she even loved him.)

Then Jed meets Gracie Wainwright and Jasper is terrified that he’ll have to leave; that being reclusive and unseen is the only way he can stay there, outside San Antonio. Jed doesn’t even let him go to church except at Christmas; for Jasper to grown up, he must be invisible and it’s the one family law they all obey. 

Except… Aunt Grace is his greatest champion, the mother he never had before. She is quick to teach him, bringing him books and teaching him his sums, how to sew on a button and darn a sock, and cook a hot meal - “Everyone needs to know these things Jasper, no matter where you go in life.”

And then there are the girls, he beloved cousin-sisters who climb over him and cling to him and are nothing but laughter and soft, kind things. Jed and Grace produce five of them, one after the other, all golden-eyed and blue-eyed and his favourite people in the world. Girls he would die for. 

So he does. He goes and signs up for the army because he’s been grown for years, because he’s faster and stronger and doesn’t need food or water. Disease never seems to touch him, and there’s little-to-no chance that they won’t have to leave the ranch. They’ll need to eat and travel, and his stipend will help with that. It’s the least he can do. 

(In her letters, Aunt Grace worries about him incessantly, tells him that Little Emma wanders around calling for him, not understanding that he’s not coming home any time soon; that his stipend has been useful in keeping them fed and well. Jed writes him and scolds him for running off and for sending them his money, but always ends his letters speaking of his pride in Jasper, and wishes to come home safely. Jasper’s always felt guilty he never made it back.)

Maria is oddly fascinated by the concept of his family, by how dearly he holds them, and how he still remembers them, still adores them. Vampire memories are supposed to decay; it’s considered a rebirth for a reason. He doesn’t know why his memories stay so vivid, but he treasures them. In the end, it’s easier and safer to stop mentioning them, to pretend the memories are starting to decay, so that Maria stops interrogating him, so that she thinks he’s finally behaving how he should. 

//

The first time Alice sees Jasper bleed, she nearly screams. It trickles into his eyes and he swears, and she’s frozen in a vision that she cannot escape from. He swipes it off his forehead and sucks on his fingers a moment to swipe over the shallow wound. 

And it’s sealed. Does he have a healing gift?

She doesn’t know. 

But the visions start showing her the things that are to come. The Cullens are still a possibility, but Jasper will be more skittish about joining them, about letting others know about what he is. About having to live with more vampires after South. He’s terrified of Carlisle on so many levels, and the idea of school goes against everything his uncle taught him. 

But she’s gratified that he seems happy when they’re together. That he sees something in her, the lost girl, that maybe he recognises. 

I love you Jasper, and I know that we’re going to be so happy together.

And she does. She loves that he can walk in the sunlight without notice, but he still hates doing it. She loves that he has no special talent for languages, but has still managed to learn Spanish and French fluently. That he’s never learnt to dance, but he’ll dance with her. That at some point she’s going to try to cook for him, and it’ll be a messy disaster and he’ll just laugh until there are tears in his eyes and tell her that he loves her for trying. 

Sometimes she wishes that she could share visions, pass them from her head to another’s because she wants to be able to save all of this for him, to show him that everything is going to be okay. Better than okay; perfect. 

//

Peter is a blessing in disguise. At first, he’s only there to make trouble, only there to test the boundaries and question authority. He hears Jasper’s sluggish heart, sees the way Maria watches over him, and decides that Jasper is the weak link, and he just needs to exert the right amount of pressure to break him. 

It goes about as well as expected, and something about the fact that Jasper is the one that returns Peter’s arm instead of throwing it on the pyre cements something between them. Loyalty, understanding, and a sense of fairness. 

Friendship and brotherhood comes in time. But that evening, as Jasper realigns the joint and explains to Peter that Maria has tried to rip off Jasper’s arm before but the joints are weird because he was already venomous before being bitten, that it didn’t work. Did fuck up his shoulder for a while though. 

Peter is fascinated. That he can be cut and bruised and broken, but they can’t do something as simple as tear him into pieces. That Jasper takes days to heal, and on the long sunny days they stay inside for, Jasper sleeps.

//

She finds him in Philadelphia and, oh, her heart breaks. In her well-loved dress and too-big shoes with the creases deep across the toes, she looks like a real lady compared to him. 

He’s outside in the alley, trying to convince himself to go inside. She’s seen it happen both ways, and that’s why she was late. To make sure that either way, he’s going to find her. She refuses to risk it any other way.

In the flesh, he’s a lot further gone than she expected. Enough that she discards her coat and her shoes as she enters the alley, moving quietly towards him. He’s so thin, and his hair is a tangled mess around his face, and he bares more than one bruise. His clothes are woeful, filthy and too thin for the cool weather. He’s not going to survive another winter like this. 

“Hello,” she says, and when he looks at her, his eyes almost pass as hazel, with the ring of fading red around the pupil. But he also looks hunted and haunted, like an animal backed into a corner. “I’ve been looking for you.”

She smiles at him, and he stares back for a moment before he relaxes a little. “I didn’t realise I had an appointment,” he manages, his voice cracking with disuse. He lets her get a little closer, looking at her bare feet, her green dress that has seen better days, the less-than-clean gloves, and the ribbon in her hair. Oh, and her purse. 

“That’s okay, because I’m here now,” she decides to brazen it out, and goes closer to sit beside him except he stops her.

“You’ll spoil your clothing,” he says, getting to his feet and he’s so very tall. He has to look down at her, and she feels very delicate and precious as he does so. 

“I have a lot of clothing to spoil,” she says honestly, and he still looks uncomfortable. “I’m Alice.”

“Hello Miss Alice.” He sounds uncertain but for her, it’s the most beautiful sound because it’s the very first time that she’s ever heard him speak her name out loud. 

—

[valiant-if]

i finished the elden ring dlc a few hours ago—don't worry, no spoilers here

to be clear, i personally loved every bit of it, and it's nice to get a dlc that's actually worth the price tag. the bosses were really cool (although i had a really bad time trying to fight them as a full sorcerer build 😂 i'm just not very good at it, i'm better with melee. as an aside to this, i've whined "i'm a caster" enough this dlc that it would be an appropriate thing to put on my irl tombstone) and the environments and music were super great. it also felt worth my time and had a decent chunk of map to get through; i really feel like i got what i paid for

but i am gonna say, i'm starting to think that From Software might be hitting the limits of what their engine is capable of in terms of optimization (as relates to particle effects specifically), combat fluidity, and camera control (citing all soulsborne games as well). most of the things that i found frustrating about the dlc were things that are frustrating about all of the games, like button input issues, Camera Souls™, and fps drops during certain boss attacks. the fps drops were few and far between for me personally, but i can definitely see where they might be an issue for a lot of players (and the final boss of the dlc was the one i experienced issues with the most).

the engine is pushing 10+ years now, and though I think they can still probably get another title or two out of it, i really do wonder if it wouldn't be in their best interest to develop a more modern engine soon to make sure future games are keeping up with the modern gaming scene. seriously, the game camera behaves like it was made for the ps2 console, it can be very not fun. but i don't have to tell that to anyone who has played before

just Shower Thoughts™ really, but tldr; the dlc was great. i'm looking forward to a ng+ with some different gear (for the love of trina, get me off of sorcerer)

but for now i'll be switching my focus over to Rogue Trader. i don't know much about warhammer as a whole, but i'm enjoying the setting so far, and it's nice to be playing a turn-based tactics game again

[thisisyourprincipalspeaking]

The biggest issue with some people on here is that they spread their “opinion/hypothesis” as fact and then get angry when someone else either doesn’t agree or didn’t know about this opinion (because they blocked these blogs) or asked for proof (and clearly didn’t get it).

if an anon comes to your blog talking about something, one of these other blogs will likely pop up and angrily spout their rhetoric and say “how are you so stupid you didn’t know??”

Like. My question to them would be “and who told you what you think is right?”

Their current narrative is that the celeb resigned an extended contract that he was allegedly supposed to be out of last June and that’s because of the strike.

Nobody knows if this is true. Nobody including those blogs can provide actual proof that anything was signed in the first place. But they spout this assumption as fact then get mad when others don’t blindly buy into it. They’re hellbent on blaming the celeb for being stupid and signing himself into a marriage when there was never any proof he signed anything in the first place.

Imagine an impressionable anon on here (there are many of them) attending a comic con or even going onset to where this celeb is filming a movie and trying to ask him about his alleged contract. Imagine how bewildered the man would be, or if he’s getting tagged into hate posts that include his family, friends, business partners (even Disney and marvel) by hate accounts accusing him of being so “stupid” he signed his life and career away.

The problem with most ppl is that they don’t think past their own asses and they don’t know how to critically think and question anymore. That is the issue with far left and rightist thinking when it comes to social political topics.

But I also think it applies here even if this particular topic is hardly worth losing sleep over.

You are allowed to have questions about public relationships and ordeals to an extent since the information has been displayed for public consumption. I wondered if a celeb whose the new face of Dunkin’ Donuts and his pop star actress diva wife were real or if it was being really played up since he broke up with his ex Cuban born actress gf and immediately was seen with the pop star diva ex. Then they went onwards and have been on headlines ever since, and he almost always looks miserable. They play too much and I do wonder if it was all stunt that’s about to end since rumors of divorce are everywhere.

But I don’t have proof. It doesn’t make me lose sleep or have arguments with anons. It just makes me a bit curious and amused by it all and shows to me many things in HW, the entertainment, music, sports etc industries are fabricated, orchestrated, and also played up for attention. As someone who works in marketing and PR, my entire job is to sell my company’s brand and image 24/7. Most of the stuff we put out is fodder to a point and we get told what words and phrases to use to get attention and to sell a narrative. But BTS, we know it’s strategized and planned out weeks, months, and years in advance.

People who are industry adjacent have tried to telling these blogs but get ignored by the screaming minority.

Im absolutely sure a PR spin is being made about this particular relationship and I do think personally, some type of contract may have been signed. But I have zero proof what happens behind the scenes so I cannot sit here and say my assumptions are fact. If that makes some blogs on here think I’m playing “team middle” then so be it.

To me, it makes the most sense to be in the middle. There’s a saying that the truth often lies somewhere in the middle and I believe that’s likely true here.

I like your blog and your insight and I hope you don’t go anywhere!

you seem to have the right attitude, anon! thank you for stopping by and sharing your perspective; especially for appropriately identifying what is your own feelings and opinions.

i urge everyone to continue asking relevant questions. sometimes those questions won't or can't have public answers, but it is important to keep those looming in one's brain.

i hope that no one is asking or saying anything so outlandish to chris' face. even if it IS true that the situation is contractual (which we do not know!) he would absolutely NOT be able to discuss such things with random strangers. conversely, no one on the internet should be angry about receiving logical questions. if someone is going to claim something as truth, be able to back it up.

and don't worry... the principal has no plans to go anywhere! thanks for sticking around.

[mafia-lorelai]

Background/gif made by dia-smthidk

Red’s bar

This is Lorelai’s bar… you can ask him questions here. He listens, a lot, and he doesn’t talk… at least you’ll hope he won’t, if you know what’s good for you.

Talking

[Me] = Ooc

Or

[Ooc] - than text

//Thinking//

Action or *action*

<Sign>

Mod is @glitchyk

MOD USES EST TIME!

Even though they will stay up late from time to time, they still have work during the school days and shit… unfortunately. Doesn’t mean they won’t get bored in class and respond, but just keep it in mind!

Mod Boundaries

Jesus Christ y’all love this man and I’ve got no clue why— shshjsjs—

I’m fine with simping or joking about it, just don’t take it anywhere not work appropriate, there is a person behind this blog after all 🤸 but like as long as it’s not inappropriate/not safe for work, we’re vibing chat, it’s good

Please do not ask things of the mod, if it is not mafia related or related to Lorelai, please do not ask the mod, because they have their own account aside from this little fandom

Fanart? I don’t know why you would make that, but, just putting it here that you can and if you do please tag me, main or here.

Will he be your father?… eh, sure./silly

Lorelai’s boundaries

Behave yourself in the bar, or else you might have to be escorted out…

No touching.

Don’t go causing trouble with other members… I know it’s odd to say but I have had some idiots in the bar.

More will be added as needed…

FAQ + extras under the cut

Mafia incorrect quotes

FAQ! Frequent questions about Lorelai

You guys might be surprised but I do get some repudiative asks that I just don’t answer but- here you go.

Why do his eyes look like that?

Well— uh they just can, 💃 lore

What is Lorelai’s card?

He is the Jack of spades, I mean… I have it in the tags of each of my posts with him, but… I guess it’s always worth clarifying here, hah

Opinions on other reds members?

He’s fine with some, though closest to Arsenic and Diamond

Can he talk?

Course he can! He even has a voice claim

Why doesn’t he talk?

You’ll figure out eventually

Is he single?

Right now? Yes~

Will he be your father?

Ask Diamond she’s the one that’s gonna throw hands with you—/silly

[philosopherking1887]

Thoughts on Narek’s character

I started writing this ridiculous essay in June of 2021 after I watched season 1 of Picard. @shadowinthefire found a post from back then about the fact that I was writing this whole-ass essay and asked if I would post the essay itself, which I never finished because I decided it wasn’t worth it to start fights with people (and I gained enough distance from the specific irritating exchanges I had about Narek, reported in the essay below, that they were no longer actively pissing me off).

I put the whole thing under a “read more” link because I realize that most people will not care XD

Having finished watching season 1 of Star Trek: Picard, attempted to talk to some people about it, and poked around in the tags, I have found that Narek is the most polarizing character. He seems to be this show/fandom’s Loki or Kylo Ren: one segment of the fandom (myself included; I’m habitually prone to villain-sympathizing) finds him at least somewhat sympathetic and thinks he has the potential for redemption, while another considers him a worthless, irredeemable jerk and “abuser”... a term that’s more appropriately applied here than to some of the other polarizing characters it’s thrown at, but I’m not entirely sure it’s to the point here, either, and I think the emotional charge of the word (inevitably associated with the ‘social justice’ sensibilities of the Tumblr Left) often obscures more than it illuminates.

Insofar as Narek deceives Soji, manipulates her, uses her for his own aims (finding the synths’ homeworld), tries to kill her, and then follows her after she escapes -- all while claiming that he loves her, and possibly even believing it himself -- it seems apropos to term it an abusive relationship, and him an abuser. However, most relationship abuse, as we tend to understand it, doesn’t involve an intelligence agent seducing a target for information. In general, it strikes me as odd to talk about spies who use “honeypotting” or “honeytrapping” as a tactic as “abusers,” because the point is very different. The target is not just a random victim for the spy to control for the sake of a power trip; there’s something specific that the spy wants to accomplish, and the target is collateral damage in the pursuit of that aim. (This is also different from raising and molding children to serve a specific purpose in a way that’s harmful to them, which definitely counts as abuse -- think Enabran Tain with Garak in DS9, or Thanos with Gamora and Nebula in the MCU. Parents have a special responsibility to their children, biological or adopted, to love them unconditionally and act in their best interests. People get into sexual relationships for all kinds of reasons, and while you might think we all have a Kantian responsibility not to treat others as a mere means, it seems unhelpful to apply the term “abuse” to all violations of that duty.)

In the case of Narek and Soji specifically: he sincerely believes that synthetic life will bring about the destruction of all organic life in the galaxy (or universe?), and thinks there is a real possibility that she is Seb-Cheneb, the Destroyer foretold in ancient myths that seemed to be corroborated by the Admonition, which he believes to be the historical testimony of a highly advanced society. From that perspective, Soji is a powerful and dangerous enemy, even though Narek knows that she doesn’t recognize that yet, and is to that extent innocent.

So, what about the fact that Narek keeps claiming that he loves Soji, even during and after his attempt to kill her? That sounds like classic abuser shit: the whole “I love you so much I can’t let anyone else have you,” “the reason I hurt you is because I love you,” “you have to forgive me because I love you so much.” It may or may not matter whether you think he believed it himself: abusers (the argument goes) don’t know what real love is; they might think they love their victim, but they couldn’t really love them if they’re still capable of hurting them. FWIW, I think he does believe he loves her, and it’s not just something he’s lying about to get her to trust him; and I think that largely because Narissa accuses him of having fallen in love with Soji. Narissa, as his sister, knows him very well, and psychopaths (which I think Narissa is but Narek is not) are often very perceptive about other people’s emotions.

Parts of the abuser pattern don’t apply to Narek: he never says he’s hurting Soji because he loves her; it’s all very much despite. But isn’t it abusively manipulative to say that he loves her -- even if he thinks it’s true -- first while he’s trying to gain her trust for the sake of betraying her, then, while crying, when he’s trying to kill her, and again when sees her after having tried to kill her? Isn’t he saying it to try to get her to feel sorry for him or feel guilty for holding him prisoner, to make her doubt herself, to give him an opening to escape and try to kill her again, along with all of her people?

Well... yes and no. Saying he loves her while he’s still working on getting her to reveal the location of the android planet is a tactic; it’s part of the honey trap thing. Falling in love with the target of your honeypot scheme is very bad form for a spy, but it’s a pretty common feature of spy stories involving that strategy. (A major departure from the way that trope usually shows up -- which I think is relevant to the difference in how people perceive it -- is that in this case the honey-trapper is a man and the target is a woman, so they’re easier to fit onto the abuser/victim template. If you do think that female spies are abusing the men they seduce, props for consistency.) I think the crying is a genuine emotional response, whether or not you want to confer the honorific of love on whatever feelings he has for her (attempting to outline criteria for love that could determine whether or not Narek’s feelings for Soji fall into that category is beyond the scope of this essay). In any case, he’s not happy about having to kill her, even though he’s still convinced it’s completely necessary.

I’m not sure he’s actually trying to accomplish anything by continuing to say he loves her when he’s a prisoner on Coppelia. Maybe he wants her to feel sorry for him, or forgive him, but he’s also very upfront at this point about what he thinks she is and what he’s trying to do, and I don’t think he expects her to let him go or anything. I think he’s just saying it because (he thinks) it’s true. Of course it hurts Soji to keep hearing him say it, because it’s a reminder of how he betrayed her trust, and if he were more sensitive to her feelings, he wouldn’t keep saying it. So he’s being emotionally selfish, but he also thinks/hopes they’re both going to die imminently (I doubt he has any hope of escaping before the Romulan fleet “sterilizes” the planet), so I suspect he’s saying it in a “nothing matters anyway” mode.

To be clear, I don’t think Narek is a good person, and I don’t ship him with anyone other than a good therapist. I just don’t think he’s evil, and I feel bad for him rather than hating him (though I think Soji is completely justified in hating him). I think he’s an OK, flawed, but morally weak person in a no-win situation -- much like Theon Greyjoy in season 2 of Game of Thrones (or A Clash of Kings, if you go by the books), whom I also sympathized with even before all the torture and mutilation (definitely a minority position).

I also don’t think it’s particularly helpful to label him with the Tumblr-SJ-morally-loaded term “abuser” -- which is deliberately used to mark anyone who finds him (or similar characters) sympathetic as a Bad Ally, as bad in specifically Social Justice-y terms. (When I said in a Discord discussion that “I’m more inclined than most people to try to take the perspective of prima facie unsympathetic characters,” an anti-Narek person replied, “I also try to take the perspective of prima facie ‘unsympathetic’ characters, which are often female and/or people of color. I think that’s different to ‘evil’ characters that just reinforce traditional power structures.” Wow, cool. So you’re accusing me of sympathizing with the oppressor, and saying that you, virtuously, only sympathize with villains under the only circumstances when it’s morally acceptable: namely, if the villain belongs to a social category that’s marginalized in the actual world. Way to reduce fiction to Hot-Button Social Issues.)

Parallels with Other Characters

Garak, Deep Space Nine

I tried (unsuccessfully) to make the case to someone that aspects of Narek’s situation are not unlike Garak’s at some of his morally lowest moments in DS9: first when he unwillingly tortures Odo in “The Die is Cast,” both to prove himself to Tain so he can go home and to protect Odo from possibly worse torture; and then when he tries to destroy the Founders’ homeworld in “Broken Link” while Bashir (whom we can all assume he loves) is also on the planet.

Narek pretty obviously doesn’t enjoy hurting Soji, but he does it because he thinks he has to. Unlike Garak, who stops torturing Odo at some point, Narek goes through with his plan to kill Soji, even while expressing his unhappiness about it. The person I was talking to took that as a sign of Garak’s superior moral character, and perhaps a sign that while his concern and distress were sincere, Narek’s was not. I’m not sure we can draw that conclusion (even if I do think that Garak is a better person than Narek, on the whole). Garak also stopped torturing Odo because he knew perfectly well that he couldn’t actually tell them anything useful about the Founders and that he wasn’t going to get anything more out of him by continuing to torture him, and he didn’t think Tain expected him to torture Odo to death as a condition of returning home. By contrast, Narek went through with his plan to kill Soji because he was quite sure at this point that she was the Destroyer destined to bring an end to all organic life. The reason Garak stopped while Narek didn’t wasn’t (just) because Garak is a better person; it was also because Garak didn’t think he could still accomplish anything by continuing to torture Odo, while Narek’s goals still demanded that he kill Soji.

So that brought me to a case where Garak doesn’t stop of his own accord in trying to do something morally reprehensible: his attempt to destroy the Founders’ homeworld, and thus to commit genocide, in “Broken Link” -- which would also result in killing Dr. Bashir, who’s definitely his friend and arguably his beloved. He’s willing to do that because the female Founder has threatened Cardassia with annihilation, and he believes it’s necessary to save Cardassia. This action and its motivation is pretty closely parallel with Narek’s. Indeed, Narek has better moral math on this one: he’s trying to kill one person he (thinks he) loves and (eventually) to commit a genocide of synths to save all organic life, not just a single species and its empire.

My opponent argued that Garak is still more sympathetic because he believes he will die as a result of his action, and therefore he, unlike Narek, is willing to make sacrifices for his cause. I think it’s unfair to draw that conclusion because the situations aren’t exactly parallel, and Narek doesn’t expect to die as a result of killing Soji. He tells a guard not to lower the force field to pursue Soji because of the radiation in the room where he’d trapped her, but why doesn’t he go in himself? Probably because the radiation would escape and kill other people, which he doesn’t want to do. Does he think he’s risking his life by taking a ship alone to pursue her? Not clear; possibly not. He probably does think he’s risking his life by going to Raffi and Rios for help in stopping the synths from building and activating the beacon, and in offering himself to be used as bait to get into the compound. Because I think he has genuine feelings for Soji (again, not weighing in on whether it’s “love”), I think that killing her in pursuit of the aims of the Zhat Vash is a sacrifice... but I realize that may not make him sound particularly sympathetic. I’m reminded of Thanos sacrificing Gamora for the Soul Stone in Infinity War, which was some definite bullshit -- but I also think his goal is way more stupid than Narek’s and the relationship actually does count as abusive, for the reasons explained above. Nonetheless, I think some of us would be willing to say that killing Bashir to save Cardassia was a genuine sacrifice for Garak, and would have been whether or not he also expected to die himself. Does that only count because it would have been collateral damage rather than the immediate goal, and thus subject to the “doctrine of double effect”?

Note from Jan 2023: I also planned to write sections fleshing out the comparison with Theon Greyjoy in season 2/book 2 of GOT/ASOIAF, and another one comparing Narek’s situation to that of Thomas Sharpe in Guillermo del Toro’s film Crimson Peak. I leave these as exercises for the reader...

[yesmissnyx]

Hello, Miss Nyx. I'm around 25, and I've only recently gotten into this sort of thing- and mostly on a sideblog, until I realized how much more limited they are. How do you get past the fear of being judged for kink/being sexual in public places like tags?

Hey there! Oh man, this is a question that got me thinking. So, uh, long post incoming!

Okay, so...being unapologetically horny has been something I've been wanting to do for most of my adult life, but I've only managed to get over my fears of being judged/being seen as inappropriate this year. In my 30s. A little past the point where greater society sees as conventionally desirable, oops.

That being said, it didn't just happen magically! it's taken a lot of working on myself and introspection to get to the point where I feel confident enough to do this. What's helped the most though, is the following:

-> Trusting in myself enough to read the room, and post things in appropriate places. I'm generally careful to make sure my stuff is mature-locked (which, THANK YOU TUMBLR for finally adding that!) and finding tags that can be easily searched AND filtered.

Blocking/filtering makes it so that someone only has to see me ONCE before they can block me and never see me again. It's not my responsibility to make myself everyone's taste, you know? It's not even possible! If someone doesn't want to see me, they are more than welcome to block me or my personal tags.

All I can do is go, "This is the content I want to create," create it, and then put it places where it can be found.

-> If I do mess up, or someone gives me feedback that makes me question whether I should change something, I also trust in myself to take criticism with grace and respond to it rationally. Sometimes criticism (or feedback) is coming from a place of genuine helpfulness. Sometimes it's coming from a place of entitlement.

Either it aligns with my values, or it doesn't. By knowing what kind of content I *want* to make, it's easier to decide what feedback I want to give space to.

-> And finally, I trust myself to deal with any harassment, bullying or negativity that comes my way. It'll feel bad in the moment, but I've dealt with enough of that during my life that I know the bad feelings will eventually pass, and I'll be okay in the end.

Like I said--I have no intention to be everyone's taste. There are going to be people who get mad at me for any number of stupid reasons!

(People are very good at doing that, especially on social media.)

But all I can do is try my best to save that mental real estate for the VERY KIND and VERY LOVELY people who have shown me appreciation for what I do.

It sucks, because the reality of the situation is that you have to put yourself out there to receive that kind of support, and find the emotional freedom that comes with receiving that kind of support.

It's hard, and it's taken me a long time to get here, but so far it's absolutely been worth it 💞 Good luck on your own journey!

[black-quadrant]

Grovel / kirikagi

mind the tags || also on AO3

Hazuki knew by the smarminess of Joshua’s smile that his apology would not be nearly enough. Despite the fact that everything worked out in the end, and their districts were already on the way to full restoration, the tension that still existed alluded to unfinished business.

Hazuki knew that it’s only a matter of time until Shibuya’s Composer would be demanding his pound of flesh. And that time would come sooner than later, when he’s summoned to the heart of the city in the Room of Reckoning. 

He approaches the throne, occupied by his superior Composer, who looked every bit the part. Equal parts confident and casual, he’s got one leg slung over the other and his chin resting on his upturned palm. His imposing aura nearly puts Hazuki off his stride, but he manages to maintain his grace long enough to make it to the throne proper.

Their eyes meet, and Joshua gives him a once over, head tilting in consideration.

“Kneel.”

Shinjuku’s Composer freezes for a split second, startled by the command, but he deems this an appropriate gesture, so he genuflects on one knee. The right knee, the one typically reserved for the divine, Joshua notes. He had to wonder if it’s intentional. Hazuki seems the calculating type to do everything with meaning.

The vindictive side of him wants to bring him to both knees in complete subjugation. The mere thought sends a delightful pulse through his groin.

“You didn’t think I’d just let you get off scot-free, did you, friend?”

Joshua makes no attempt to dim the predatory glow in his eyes, and when Hazuki lifts his head to again meet them, a chill runs down his spine. 

“Yes, you extinguished the problem, but I am not so sure that action alone can make up for all the messes you made along the way.”

Despite the obvious threat, Haz is utterly captivated by Joshua, struck silent with awe in the face of such decidedly dangerous beauty. "You said you thought you were following in my footsteps... If you mean what you say... If you actually look up to me... If you truly respect me," Joshua flexes his elevated foot, nudging it under Haz’s chin to further lift it, "you’ll worship the ground I walk on."

At that, Haz looks confused, but Joshua’s happy to clarify by rolling his ankle and tapping the Composer’s cheek with his shoe.

Haz is nearly caught grimacing, but he’s quick to pave it over with a smile to save face. He tilts his head to place his lips to the pristine white canvas, and Joshua hums approval, prompting him to continue. All the while, they hold one another’s gaze (not that Joshua would allow Hazuki to look away), as Shinjuku’s Composer cautiously plants a line of kisses up his shoe. 

It’s a lovely sight, to be sure, but it’s not quite satisfying. Joshua adjusts his posture while twiddling his hair in thought.

“I don’t think your heart is in this. You know, I think you’re better suited to…”

He gives Hazuki’s face a sharp tap with his shoe before pushing it firmly against his lips. “Grovel.” Hazuki’s eyes narrow, betraying the first hint of opposition— disobedience— but Joshua’s not fazed. He simply waits, fixed gaze drilling ever deeper into his compeer, challenging his will.

“Do I need to spell it out for you?”

“No, Senpai.” Hazuki’s tone has a bite to it that’s only further incriminating as he finally acquiesces to the demand. He takes that sneaker into his hands to cradle, and while maintaining the electrifying eye contact, he slowly unfurls his tongue and swipes it across the coarse cloth. It’s downright revolting being demeaned like this, but if it pleases his senior and settles the score, it’s worth the bruised ego. 

With that conviction holding him together, Hazuki continues to lick, nuzzle, and kiss, making sure he’s thorough (because he knows Joshua will accept nothing less) in covering every square inch of surface. Before Haz can face the grim possibility of having to provide the same treatment to the bottom, Joshua uncrosses his leg and drops it to the ground.

“All fours, Shinjuku.” 

Hazuki’s jaw clenches, and Joshua can tell it’s taking everything in him not to get up and leave, or perhaps something more retaliatory in nature. He obliges, quickly dropping to hands and knees and bowing his head to put his lips on the toe of his sneaker. Under Joshua’s penetrating stare, he can feel that ever-present tension intensify, and a sinister energy creeps in as Haz holds his breath, waiting for the next instruction.

“Well done. You’ve almost got me convinced,” Joshua all but purrs, spreading his legs, and sliding his feet outward, away from Hazuki’s pliant lips. “Look at me.” 

Hazuki draws his eyes up and his impassive mask slips off his gawking face at the sight of Joshua’s bare cock jutting from his opened pants. His face blanches for all of a few seconds before his body’s lustful instinct overrides his mortified mind. 

Joshua smirks at Haz’s priceless expression.

“If you’re going to suck up to me, you’re going to do it my way..” Haz’s eyes intently follow Joshua’s fist as it slides slowly up and down his shaft, coaxing it to swell and stiffen.

“If you make me cum, we’ll call it even.” At full mast, it forms a devilish curve that’s so tantalizing Hazuki’s own cock twitches in its confines. Dumbly, he nods, knowing he should be scandalized by this lewd transaction, but… but…

Joshua removes his hand, letting his now fully erect cock bob free, and winds that hand into his peer’s hair to pull him in. The abrupt grip forces Haz to reposition, kneeling properly now and wedged between Joshua’s thighs. He only has a split second to catch Joshua’s leering before his view’s obstructed by the imposing member on display, ready to be attended to. Haz’s breath rolls over his balls, making them twitch with anticipation. Awkwardly, he grips Joshua’s thigh for support, wraps the other hand around the base and peppers kisses up the length, tracing the prominent vein on the underside until soft lips tentatively brush the rounded ridges of the crown. Apparently he’s not moving fast enough for Joshua, who simultaneously shifts his hips up and drags him down by his hair to pop the head into his mouth, relishing the small gasp and flushed cheeks of his startled junior.

The combination of heady scent and taste on Haz’s tongue is almost immediately overwhelming, especially with Joshua’s fingers latched like claws onto his scalp, but he quickly finds that once he surrenders his pride to pleasure, it unlocks an alarmingly wanton side of him. It wasn’t as if he hasn’t seen this act performed before, and although he’s never done it himself… well, suffice to say he’s admittedly fantasized about what it would be like (featuring Joshua).. He’d never imagined he would actually be performing, much less under such circumstances. But with his pride gone, it makes it easy to fall into that fantasy. He reaches up to brace his other hand on the Composer’s leg, now fully stable. His eyes drift closed in concentration as he wills his jaw to go slack and his throat to relax, breath a noisy inhale-exhale through his nose. It’s a final act of submission as he drops his head down until he can feel the thick crown of Joshua’s cock bump the back of his throat. The guttural moan from his superior Composer goes straight to his groin. He gags only once, angelic determination forcing his vessel to behave how he wants it to. Joshua seems to take that as permission to amp things up to meet his desired pace. Haz is now keenly aware he’s being used as both hands grip his hair, pushing his head down further before yanking it up. This isn’t a seductive, intimate act, after all; this is power and dominion . Despite anticipating such treatment, he couldn’t be prepared for how intense it is, and honey eyes fly open, tearing up from the effort to control his reflexes and the quickening breaths flaring his nostrils. He’s pleased to see that Joshua isn’t even looking at him anymore, eyes shut and lips parted. The sounds he makes as he fucks Hazuki’s now willing throat make his neglected cock ache, undoubtedly smearing pre-cum across the inside of his pants. He desperately wants to relieve the pressure and stroke himself to his own completion, but he knows that will most definitely earn a harsher punishment than this. It’s not about him ; it’s about assuaging Shibuya’s Composer.

Hazuki can tell he’s close by the way the rhythm of his bucking hips loses its fluidity and goes sporadic. His scalp is stinging from the relentless grip and his jaw aches for release, yet in spite of the physical discomfort, the thrill overrides it. Like it or not, he’s absolutely enthralled by the Composer, giddy with the pleasure he’s providing him. “D-don’t you dare pull away. Head down.” It’s all the warning he’s given before the deeply imbedded shaft twitches and the prominent vein pulses one last time to signal release. Thankfully, he can’t taste much, but that doesn’t mean he can’t feel every pump  spilling down his gullet. He can hear Joshua groan through the ringing in his ears, followed by his voice, laced with threat.

“If you even consider spitting, you’ll be dealt a far worse hand than this.” Not that Hazuki can imagine doing such a thing, even with the uncomfortable sensation of sticky fluid glazing his throat. He closes his eyes, a sigh that sounds suspiciously like a whine escaping past the softening shaft in his mouth. Joshua’s surprisingly gentle as he pulls Hazuki up, his length slipping out of those swollen lips, and pets the disheveled golden hair down. He gasps, finally surfacing to breathe freely, and shakily wipes his chin clean of residual saliva. It’s the last little show of humanity before he’s all unnerving smiles and cool demeanor once again. Only the heat in his eyes exposes both the incredulity of what he’s just been forced to do and the annoying state of arousal it’s put him in. Joshua’s eyes meet his own yet again, his expression smug. “You make a pretty good fleshlight, friend. Perhaps I should have done this sooner. Besides,” he purrs, leaning in so he’s inches from Hazuki’s face, “you wear humiliation so well.” Shinjuku merely smiles and offers the slightest chuckle, raspy from the rough play. “I hope this clears the air between us. I would hate to lose your friendship because I didn’t convince you well enough of my remorse.” He thought that perhaps this might ease the tension between them, but as their gazes bore into one another, it’s clear that it hasn’t. But said tension seems to have taken on a different tone, one that’s, daresay, amiably competitive and sexually charged. “I see no reason not to accept your apology.” The triumphant Composer gives the pendant around his junior’s neck a light tug and smiles cheerily. “But if you threaten my city again, you’ll be doing much more than kissing ass.”

[tc-doherty]

Character Out of Context Tag

I wasn't tagged I just wanted to do this one. I'm using The Ghost, of course. Because it's timely.

Rules: Include one character quote of your choosing ⁠from each chapter of your WIP (or as many chapters as you'd like). Give absolutely no context, save for what's between two parts of an interrupted sentence, should that occur. You may mention who said it.

Tagging @did-i-do-this-write @emilyoracle @outpost51 and anyone else who wants to do it~

Ch1: “Last I checked,” he said, “your name is still Seneria. You aren’t Solaris yet. For now, these problems aren’t your problems.”

Ch2: “I hardly think that ‘do nothing’ is an appropriate response.”

Ch3: “Did you have fun sneaking around like a thief, spying on your father?” he asked. “Making me lie to your tutor for you?”

Ch4: “Secrets cannot hide from me. It’s Solaris’ duty to shine light in the darkness.”

Ch5: “How is it that you manage to completely misunderstand when you ought to be forthright and honorable, and when you should just lie?”

Ch6: “It’s rude to eavesdrop on my private thoughts, cat.”

Ch7: “We don’t speak his name, Ria. He’s sleeping, not dead.”

Ch8: “There’s a difference between cowardice and common sense, Seneria.”

Ch10: “…so I told him he was playing a fool for the boy, you know, spending all that gold.”

Ch11: “I’m not what you wanted and I don’t think like you or act like you and you’re afraid of what I can do,” [redacted] said. “And I don’t for one minute believe that you ever did anything as humble as farming!”

Ch12: “I never asked her. We just met on the road and decided to work together.”

Ch13: “If I agree to tell you, will you go home?”

Ch14: “We will not speak here,” [redacted] said. “You accepted my invitation. You cannot refuse it now.”

Ch16: “Wait!” she said. “What about Hermokrates?”

Ch17: “…Gheist,” he said. “My name is Gheist Locke.”

Ch19: “Magic food does not need to be made. It simply is.”

Ch20: “It won’t really do any harm, will it? Just let me see him for five minutes. You can be there the whole time.”

Ch21: “I am so sorry!”

Ch23: “I’m the daughter of a king, and the future Solaris besides. Who am I supposed to be friends with?”

Ch25: “And you believed him?”

Ch26: “I thought divining was Moon magic.”

Ch27: “You would be foolish enough to think that spilling Celestial blood here is a good idea.”

Ch28: “You’re the future Solaris, aren’t you? It should be easy enough for you to do.”

Ch29: “That’s what Hermokrates thinks, and my parents, and my people. But I don’t care. I don’t care if they think I’m too young or that I can’t be Solaris because I’m a girl. I am Solaris.”

Ch31: “I will never help you.”

Ch32: “He can be freed?”

Ch33: “I am the greatest mage they have ever heard of. Everyone knows of me.”

Ch34: “You want me to go along with him? To put people in danger?”

Ch35: “Do you really think the daughter of a king would take instruction from a mere logger’s son?”

Ch36: “I trust you. I won’t fight you.”

Ch37: “I’m going to do my best to destroy him.”

Ch38: “I suppose more room to move might be worth climbing all those stairs.”

Ch39: “I don’t know if it’s the best thing to do, but it works for me.”

Ch40: “Then I want you to know, I forgive you.”

Ch41: “Of course. We have to come back, we have too much to do out here.”

Ch42: “Whenever you are ready. Just as the moon reflects the sun, I will support you.”

Ch43: “Sure, there isn’t anything the two of us can’t do together.”

[utilitycaster]

Hey! I was in the miraheze wiki and had a question, and I'm not sure how to send it in there so I thought I'd ask you if that's ok. I noticed some characters in the LGBTQ category that left me a bit confused (the gentleman for example) but I think only a couple of character pages mention it (like essek's where his sexuality is mentioned and sourced as well). I was wondering if it'd be okay for people to edit these things in for easy referencing, maybe in the character trivia sections, or if the wiki just preferred to hold off on this at the moment. I hope that made sense. Lots of thanks and love to the whole miraheze team for giving us such a better alternative to the old one!

Hi anon!

You can send questions on Tumblr, and you're definitely welcome to send them to me but please also feel free, if they are non-urgent, to send them to @encyclopediacr if you're on Tumblr. You may also go to the wiki and either check out the Discord server, or make a post on an appropriate talk page (if it's about one page in particular) or the Suggestions page. And, of course, you're always welcome to edit the wiki! In general, even if you make an edit that has an error, the other editors will politely make a correction (and it is part of our policies that undoing edits that are not hate speech or vandalism requires a reason to be given).

The way LGBTQ+ characters are referenced currently is as follows - this is a long post but I wanted to cover some of the reasons you may see different characters discussed in different ways:

There is an LGBTQ+ characters page that (should) cover all characters we know to be LBGTQ+, and provide references specifically related to their sexuality/gender identity. You can find The Gentleman on here. I have actually provided a better reference since only the episode and not the time stamp was provided, so thanks for pointing that one out!

Most characters also will have some indication of their sexuality on their page; however, it might not be stated outright in the sense of "The Gentleman is bisexual". Instead, in his biography section, you can see the reference to him talking about how he has tried to make himself get over Marion through, among other things, "women and men". To give another example, Esmer is not stated to be a wlw in those terms on her page, but her biography does include that she has hooked up repeatedly with Dancer, another woman, she's on the LGBTQ+ characters page, and her own page has the "LGBTQ+ characters" tag. This isn't always the case - especially when characters are confirmed to be LGBTQ+ out of game (Essek is one example; Yussa is another) or are explicitly introduced as, for example, nonbinary, then we might more specifically use the terms used in the tweet/Talks question/4-sided dive discussion, but when it comes up in casual conversation or because we see them with a partner of the same gender, we often will simply put that in their bio/history section.

Trivia would not be the appropriate place to put this information. This reminds me that I need to work on a trivia policy, but in general the use of trivia is for metatextual things (eg, mentioning an interesting fact about a character's stats, or providing insight into the etymology of their name) and not something that is part of the actual canonical narrative. Usually right now it's in the biography, but it can also sometimes be found under "Description".

So anyway: if there are characters whose canon sexuality isn't mentioned or cited properly - and I am sure that there are - please feel free to edit that! And, for what it's worth, many biographies could use work (we are moving, in many cases, away from the episode-by-episode summary style and towards a more narrative flow, but that's a lot of work and so characters we haven't seen recently often haven't been updated), so please feel free to update those, which might make it easier to find their sexuality. Please do not, however, put it in trivia on their page; and if you're wondering why someone is in that category I recommend checking the LGBTQ+ character page since that should have a list of characters and the reason why they are included on that page.

Let me know if you have any follow-up questions!

[xxshewritesinblacknwhitexx]

hi! i’m not sure this will send but i wanted you to know that i blocked you mostly because your bio says you don’t want people under eighteen interacting with you ^-^ i was going to dm you and try and work the argument out privately but since i’m seventeen i didn’t think you would be comfortable with that. it’s not personal :) have a good day!

First of all, I didn’t know your age because when someone writes smut on Tumblr they’re usually of the appropriate age. And by the time I went on your page you already had me blocked. So when I came to you on my other account your age is conveniently NO WHERE to be found. So I’m supposed to be psychic and automatically know that you’re 17? But funny enough, you have this on your page:

How are you a supposed minor yourself but don’t want minors to interact with your page?? Please, make it make sense here. I put “minors do not interact” for a LEGAL reason. As an adult, I could get into trouble (like jail time trouble) for having minors read my fics. It’s not a spiteful thing. It’s a y’all ain’t worth me going to jail thing.

Now you blocking me right off the bat without a conversation just made it seem like you didn’t care what a POC has to say about reader inclusion. That’s why I called you out again. I didn’t bash your story. I didn’t call you names. I just called you out for using a Non-POC picture in your header for your fic. It’s not inclusive. So just tag your fic as “white!reader” instead of just “reader” because it’s not for everyone. I need y’all to please learn and understand that POCs have been fighting for reader inclusion for YEARS. We are tired of fighting. You’re the not first person I called out, and you won’t be the last.