#not sure if i'll keep posting this or not

[jockwrites]

pillowtalk - p.b

warnings: smut, pet names, (baby, ma yk all that) idk what else tbh

a/n: i loved her in the dallas jersey i needed to make a fic abt it. also barely proof read lol

the dallas wings arena thrummed with the cheers of the crowd as your girlfriends final basket sank cleanly through the net, securing her team's victory. the blonde haired, blue eyed beauty grinned broadly as her teammates swarmed her, celebrating their hard fought win.

as the post-game pandemonium subsided, you navigated the bustling locker room, heart pounding with anticipation. paige, still in her sweat-soaked blue dallas wings jersey and shorts, was in finishing conversation with a reporter. seizing a window of opportunity, you approached, clearing your throat softly.

“paige, you did amazing,” you complimented, stepping up beside the blonde athlete as she wrapped up her interview. paige turned, blue eyes gleaming with unshed sweat and triumph, a wide, cocky grin spreading across her face. “glad you got to see it,”

paige excused herself from the lingering reporter and pulled you into a tight embrace, her strong arms wrapping around your waist. “i'm all sweaty, i'm so sorry,” she apologized while laughing, pulling back but keeping her hands on your hips. “that's okay, i don't mind,”

“i'll be right back,” she said, giving you a quick kiss before heading into the locker room to change out of her uniform.

as paige changed, she couldn't stop thinking about you. she quickly shed her uniform, her hands trembling slightly as she removed each piece of clothing. she tossed her gear into her locker and grabbed a change of clothes, her mind racing with thoughts of you waiting outside.

she couldn’t wait to get you home, or to the car?

paige emerged from the locker room, dressed in a blue-ish black tracksuit, her blond hair damp from the shower. she scrubbed a towel over her buzzed head, her broad shoulders relaxed. “sorry 'bout that,” she said, flashing you a grin.

paige tossed the towel aside and sauntered over to you, her movements slightly different. she stopped a foot away, looking you up and down appreciatively. “you're a sight for sore eyes,” she said, her voice low and husky.

you chuckled and playfully rubbed your eyes with the back of your hand. “what’s got you sore hmm?” you asked paige, smirking at the joke. paige laughed, her deep voice rumbling.

“nothing yet, but ima be sore in a minute if ion get you home,” paige said, her voice dropping an octave. her eyes flicked down to your lips, then back up to meet your gaze as you giggled. her biceps flexed slightly as she uncrossed her arms.

paige licked her lips, her eyes still locked with yours. “you ready?” she asked, her voice a low, suggestive purr. she reached out and gently grasped your wrist, her calloused thumb brushing over your pulse point. “my car right outside…”

you laughed as she tugged gently on your wrist, urging you to leave with her. “c’mon, let's get out of here before i lose my patience entirely.”

paige led you out of the gym, her hand resting possessively on the small of your back as you walked towards the parking lot. once at her car, she hit the remote unlock button and opened the passenger door for you. “thank you,” you grinned.

you climbed into the car and pulled the seatbelt across yourself, watching as paige leaned in to make sure it was secure. “why d’we gotta leave so soon anyway?” you asked, tilting your head up to look at her.

paige raised an eyebrow as she straightened up, closing the door behind you. she leaned against the open window, her arms crossed over the door. “why you askin like you got sumn’ in mind?” she asked, her tone curious.

but i think she knows exactly what you wanna do.

paige smirked, leaning closer to the open window, her eyes glinting with mischief, “if you’re thinking what i’m thinking, once we start i ain't sure ill wanna stop.”

you grinned, leaning forward. “get in the car p. ‘m sure you don’t wanna keep waiting yeah?” your eyes filled with challenge and flirtation as you jerked your thumb towards the driver's seat. “clock’s ticking.”

paige slid into the driver's seat, her hand immediately finding your thigh as she leaned over. “you can't just say stuff like that and expect me to hold back," she growled, capturing your mouth in a searing kiss.

paige growled against your lips, her hands gripping your hips and lifting you clean out of the passenger seat. she deposited you on her lap, so you were straddling her. “come on baby, tell me what you wanna do.”

paige's hands slid up your sides, her thumbs brushing the undersides of your breasts through your shirt. her hips shifted beneath you, the hard press of her muscles against your backside. “i want you to fuck me in this car,” you whispered against her neck.

you placed your hands on her shoulders for support, biting your lip as you rocked your hips forward. paige's eyes darkened, her voice dropping to a husky growl. “like this?”

paige's hands slid around to grab your ass, squeezing and guiding your movements as you rocked against her. she captured your lips in another hungry kiss, biting at your bottom lip. “you feel so good,” you breathed. she panted against your mouth, her hips starting to roll up to meet yours.

you gasped as you felt the continuous heat building between the two of you, your bodies moving together with growing urgency. you tangled your fingers in her hair, tugging lightly. “fuck, p...” you dragged the nickname, voice thick with desire as you ground down harder against her.

“just like that,” she breathed, tilting her head back against the headrest. you moaned softly, burying your face in her neck as you continued to move against her. “god i’m gonna cum,” you whispered, your voice hitching as she slid one hand down between your thighs, pressing her palm against your core through your leggings, “paige...”

you whimpered, bucking against her touch. “paige please...” you breathed, your voice barely a whisper. she looked at you, her eyes filled with lust. “please, what, ma?” she murmured, slowly rubbing her hand against you. “do you want more?”

you panted, squirming under her touch. “more... please, paige. i need...” you broke off, moaning softly as she slipped her hand under your waistband, her cool fingers brushing against your bare skin. “you need what, baby?”

you trembled, your hips rocking against her hand. “i need your fingers... inside. please...” you whispered urgently, your heart racing in your chest. paige smiled, her thumb rubbing gently against your clit as she pushed two fingers inside you. “like this?”

you gasped, your body arching into her touch. without hesitation, you started to ride her fingers, your movements desperate and needy. “fuck, paige... yesjustlikethat” you panted, words stringing together as your hands grip her shoulders for support. you chased your pleasure.

you rode her fingers furiously, your inner walls clenching around them as you sought relief. paige watched you, her own arousal growing at the sight of you losing control. she curled her fingers inside you, rubbing against that sensitive spot within you. “fuck, you're so tight, and wet...”

you slowly lowered yourself up & down onto her fingers, feeling them stretch you open as you took them in inch by inch. paige looked up at you, her eyes locked onto yours as she slowly curled her fingers inside you, gently massaging that spot deep inside. “look at me.”

you met her gaze, holding it as you began to rock your hips, slowly sliding up and down her fingers. paige watched you, her thumb rubbing gentle circles against your clit as you moved.

you slowly guided yourself down onto her fingers, gasping softly at the fullness. she watched your face intently, adjusting her pace to match yours. her thumb was a constant tease against your sensitive clit, while her two fingers moved rhythmically inside you. “does that feel good ma?”

your reply was an exaggerated nod, your mouth falling open as you continued to rock your hips, slowly guiding yourself up and down her fingers. paige continued her gentle, rhythmic movements, her thumb still teasing your clit as she murmured, “you like that?”

paige paused her fingers inside you, making you whimper and try to shift your hips downwards. “answer me,” she commanded, her voice low and insistent. “say it.” she prompted, her thumb still rubbing slow circles.

you bit your lip, your cheeks flushing as you realized she wanted you to say it out loud. “fuck, i like it.” you stammered, your voice barely a whisper. paige chuckled, her fingers slowly curling inside you. “louder, baby.”

“i like it..” you whimpered louder, your body tensing around her fingers as she hit that spot deep inside again. “and what am i doing to you?” paige prompted, her fingers slowly pumping in and out of you. “speak up... am i fucking you right now?” she cooed.

her three fingers slowly pushed in and out of you, curling upwards to hit that spot deep inside that made you whimper and try to sit lower on her hand. Her thumb was a constant, soothing presence against your swollen clit. “am i?”

you let out a shuddering breath, your hips rocking down to take her fingers deeper. “fuck,” you whispered, your face buried in her neck. “you’re fucking me paige.” you added, your voice growing louder and more confident with each word.

her fingers slid in and out of you with deliberate slowness while her thumb maintained its steady pressure on your clit. She nipped at your neck, breathing heavily in your ear “that's right... tell me how it feels. my fingers... deep inside you?”

“fuck, paigeee,” you moaned her name as her fingers curled purposefully against your g-spot, pressing firmly while her thumb continued its measured pace on your clit. her other hand slid up to cup your breast, thumb rolling over your nipple through the fabric of your shirt “you're getting wetter... can you feel it?”

her fingers moved faster now, plunging in and out of your dripping pussy. “fuck yes, god,” you moaned as her thumb pressed down hard on your clit, rubbing it in quick circles. the hand on your breast slipped under your shirt to palm your bare breast, pinching and rolling your nipple between her fingers.

her fingers curled inside you, pressing hard against your g-spot as her thumb rubbed your clit in fast, tight circles. she leaned in close, her hot breath against your ear. “cum for me, baby.”

she continued her relentless pace, her fingers moving in and out of you with a quick, steady rhythm. her thumb rubbed your clit in fast circles, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. “cum on my fingers, now,” she commanded, her voice leaving no room for argument.

as soon as the words “god, paige i’m gonna fucking cum, please,” left your lips, she removed her thumb from your clit and curled her fingers deeper inside you, hitting your g-spot over and over as she allowed you to finally climax. your legs shook, your voice became hoarse as you begged.

your orgasm hit hard, your pussy clenching and unclenching around her fingers as you gushed all over them, cumming so hard your vision blurred. she held still, letting you ride out the waves of your pleasure as she watched your face, a satisfied smile on her lips.

then, she gestures to the backseat, eagerly pointing her thumb; this was gonna be fun.

a/n: i wanted to write scissoring but lost motivation and got writers block so ill save for another ok bye 😕

[dovalore]

sharing literature

first panel: (left and right evbo designs by @cowboyskeletons)

second panel: rightmost evbo by conn1e_ on twt, every other (except the one holding book) by me

[avagiftexchange]

AvA Gift Exchange (2024) UPDATE!

Alrighty!

All Giftees have been assigned a Gifter!

Over the course of the next 3 days (from Dec. 1st to Dec. 3rd) I will be messaging everyone with their Giftee's requests! Although I will also say that I am unfortunately working both Dec. 1st and Dec. 2nd, so sending out the prompts might extend into Dec. 4th. I will make a post if that ends up happening but I'm hoping I'll have enough time to do it in 3 days

-

Regardless, if you asked me to message you through email, make sure the keep your eyes peeled for a message from avagiftexchange@gmail.com

If you requested to message through Discord, expect a friend request from a discord account called AvAGiftExchange

Otherwise, if I've had previous dms with you on Discord using my Sammy account, then I'll just send you your prompts in there! 8D

-

As soon as you get your Secret person, you are allowed to start working on their gift!

You have until the week of Dec. 26th - Dec. 31th to work on your gift!

If you complete your gift early, please wait until the 26th, to post it!

That way we can have a big celebration and gift giving week!

If you are unable to complete your gift, please let me know before Dec. 15th

Note! If you do dropout, I can not guarantee you will be receiving a gift as it will be up to your Gifter to decide if they want to finish. Your dropped requests will then given to one of our backup artists to fulfill!

-

Now for something fun since someone suggested it

Here's the entire current list of participants for this gift exchange!

(In no particular order)

@mary-games-and-arts @itslilacokay @shamythelazypotato @berryicet @thevalleyoftriumph

@impulsive-fantasylander @stormbreaker101 @demontamerarts367 @catalystnick @fp-am

@donnietheterrapin @xxtinterxx @doomed-stickfigure-yuri @4swordsforthewin

@compressedrage @sticktopia @coulrozzgrub

@kikoqueenofrats @ginumo @hazardsk8r

@ghostrified @that-one-oddity @spacewasnotagoodidea @reptilia0freptiles @stiwnty

@kiaerinnn @indigovortex @ghost-cricket @rubtix-a-betz @amagicalmoonlight

@idkwhattoputheresooumm @manyminded @azzyiyay

@lunaautumnofficial @wowieeitsisa @kyte-tsc

@dexi-art @p1ctur3 @cyanvalour @hitbangs64 @r0tting-raspb3rry

@theslasher136 @st4rl1ghts0d4 @segafan13 @ailis-art @bonxy-theskechy02

@jetsartdump @guesspls @real-ink-demon @skyshadowo @nexusloaf

@tertium-of-chaos @tagetesxd @leafeyrune @echostarz123 @bee-natural8

@celestialaviva @oxceen @toon-melody @randomnesseva @ellathebirb

@running2reanimation @maechery @sticky-elie @echo-is-super-cool

@ninjagirlstar5 @asidecharecter @nolabuddy

@crystalartsandanimation @fireflyflarenight @three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat

@lakedo @zkylearnstherope @ornziy @theofficalrocketcorp @cindersnows

@alinnamaco @touhize @violetthunderstorm @thoughtsofjess @therealfunnystuffslol

@storgicdealer @ohhhsosleepy @jadeactuallysucks @apricity-2 @murderandjambalaya

@sticks-without-stones @just-an-average-fan @water-lemon-alex @dumbassfromhell @art-yeet

@wingittart @rainthesomething @ciromuffins @mogbomybb @eclipsefates

@ishika-star @rainbowfreakteen @silverflares @bittersweetbeet @bamboo9lordserf

@dollettodraws @boundlessjoy777 @sagafiery @goodjobyellowstickerstar

@f4n-im4t0r @sofoklesk @x-ke1kel-0 @centigreen

@gundilias @shinfiatvlol @sammy8d257 @zishu-arts

@octdl-lee @tamgerinee @crescynnt @natty-drawn12

The blogs listed below didn't work but were listed, if you are the persons who submitted an application and put these blogs down, can you please message me ASAP with a working Tumblr?

Otherwise, I will have to remove you from the gift exchange if I don't get an answer by Dec. 4th

87problems -> @pats-extra-problems

[pedgito]

it's taken me two years to finally getting around to compiling a list of fic recs together for posting, but we're finally here—a list of all the fics i've read this month (november). this is probably going to be a monthly thing since i tend to compile and read over weekends. thank you to everyone who keeps my hyperfixations alive and well with their beautiful writing and storytelling!

this key will help you figure out which fics are more your vibe, or if you're just curious of the contents before you dive in:

smut = 🌶️, fluff = ☁️ angst = ☄️

total fics listed below: 20

✎ — 𝐉𝐎𝐄𝐋 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑

↝ you've got to learn by @split-spectrum — 🌶️ (dubcon warning)

At a client's house party, you catch yourself getting jealous of other eyes on Joel. Joel pulls you aside to show you exactly what he thinks of that.

↝ for cryin' out loud by @gracieheartspedro — 🌶️, ☄️

living with joel is complicated, especially when you can’t sleep due to nightmares. when you find yourself in his bed, you can’t help yourself. but joel sure can. give him a day to mull it over.

↝ road trip by @elflutter — 🌶️

car sex with joel on the way home from a weekend trip

↝ well, all right i’m bad, but then you’re no prize either… by @sceletaflores - 🌶️, ☄️

↝ that's the way road dogs do it by @joelsdagger — 🌶️ (dubcon warning)

on a night out with friends, you run into someone from your past

↝ wherever you stray, i'll follow by @cavillscurls — 🌶️, ☄️, ☁️ (a/b/o dynamics)

Joel resents the choice to allow an unmated omega into Jackson—until he’s the only one who can help her feel at home.

↝ stay awake by @toxicanonymity — 🌶️, (dark) ☁️ (dubcon warning)

Joel meets you by chance after looking for you for 400 years. Now he can’t risk letting you go.

↝ nobody likes a secret by @gracieheartspedro — ☄️, (brief) 🌶️

a rich wealthy playboy who becomes enthralled by his neighbor’s daughter. it never ends well when he can not fathom having happiness for himself.

✎ — 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐔𝐒/𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐔𝐒

↝ the farmer's daughter by @punkshort — 🌶️, ☄️

Forced to sell your body after your father's farm went under, you find yourself hand picked to service the Roman army on their latest battle away from Rome. What you didn't expect was to be selected to share General Acacius's room for the duration of the journey.

↝ war dog by @studioghibelli — 🌶️ (sub/dom dynamics)

the twin caesars were cruel, twisted, bad, unfit to rule the sweet empire of rome. but they pale in the shadow that you, their older sister, leaves behind. general acacius sees your hunger for power, your thirst for blood, your drive for ambition- it disgusts him. unfortunately, he cannot resist the temptation that is you.

↝ cosmic love by @kedsandtubesocks — 🌶️, ☁️ (ft. marcus pike)

a missing statue, a handsome ancient roman general, an equally handsome museum visitor - and you caught in the magical (and wonderful) mess of it all

✎ — 𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒

↝ with no strings attached by @jolapeno — 🌶️

stumbling into a diner in the dead of the night, frankie morales doesn't expect to find anyone there. then he meets you. what begins as a one-night-stand-turned-weekend becomes a no-strings-attached arrangement.

↝ more than letters (prologue: the letters) by @almostfoxglove - ☄️

An epistolary prologue. Paired up as pen pals in sixth grade, you and Frankie turn a middle school assignment into a years long friendship.

✎ — 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐍 𝐃𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐎𝐍/𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒

↝ fourth time's the charm by @jolapeno —🌶️

when you turn up for your reservation, you don't expect him to be there. uninvited.

✎ — 𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐑𝐊

↝ the road not taken by @guiltyasdave — ☄️, ☁️

↝ hold still by @almostfoxglove — 🌶️

On your last night together, Dave agrees to compromise.

✎ — 𝐉𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐀

↝ bad idea by @murder-wife — 🌶️

↝ neighbors by @gothcsz — 🌶️, ☄️

what it's like living next door to javier peña.

✎ — 𝐃𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐉𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍

↝ melting point by @drawingdroid — ☁️, ☄️

You’re a first-year PhD at The University of Nevarro specialising in Mandalorian Art. When your favourite sculptor, the mysterious Mando, opens an art exhibition in the city, you’re the first one to enrol. Unexpectedly, attending to that opening would end up changing your life forever.

✎ — 𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋

↝ handjob by @sanarsi

Oberyn is busy discussing important matters for the kingdom but he can’t resist taking care of you as you sit thirsty on his lap.

likes, reblogs, and comments keep the motivation alive, so if you're taking a look at these for the first time, please leave a kind word for these writers or just reblog, even. support your writers <3

[hanfourz]

HI POOKIES i'm soso busy this week i can barely read anything here omg </3 but i loved your latests work, vamp riwoo especially... wow. happy november btw !!! i also find nnn super funny for some reason, how do you think the bonedo legal line would be like during nnn? :p

— 🐈‍⬛

🪼- oh i feel u, it's been kinda crazy lately (ᵕ—ᴗ—) thank u so much!!! im so glad u liked vamp!riwoo. as a riwoo fangs enthusiast i Had to do it. it's so funny bc cherry literally was just talking abt how she wants to do a post abt bnd doing nnn and then we saw this 😭

🍒 - im so sorry for letting this rot for so long 😭 i will try my best to explain so. it's so funny cuz i literally talked about it with ki right before we got the ask! great minds think alike☺️

warnings: SMUT [MDNI!!!], hc format, mentions of oral (f. rec), light mentions of bondage (kinda), cocky taesan & leehan lolol

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ sungho

give it a week until he falls down on his knees (quite literally). you just look so beautiful how could he NOT want to eat you out on the spot? (of course, you never wanted to admit to yourself that you badly needed it too) but knowing how obsessed he is, seeing you dressed up... you should've known the night would end with him in between your legs.

↘ rest under read more !

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ riwoo

i give it two weeks until he's way too horny and is begging you to touch him. while you refuse because you enjoy teasing him so much. he was so confident about making it through the whole month. now he's laying on the bed, tied up, waiting for you to touch him :( and how could you deny him when he whines so prettily for you?

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ jaehyun

poor guy wouldn't even last 5 seconds. :( he's so obsessed with you. he's like a victorian man seeing a woman's ankle for the first time when he sees you. doesn't matter what you're doing or how you look or how long you've been together or how often he gets to touch you. he's begging you to let him touch you, even though you both decided together to participate. you should have known neither of you were gonna last. you can't get enough of each other.

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ taesan

either two seconds or he's pulling it through, no in between. you two make it like a competition to see who'll last longer. he gets needy like halfway through but he will never admit it to himself, he's so annoyingly overconfident. and he would rather die than lose to you. so he teases you until you're the one begging for him then teases you for not being able to last. like he wasn't purposely putting his hands on your tits or making you sit on his lap...

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ leehan

3 weeks until he gives in. when you tell him that you want to participate he's like "you sure you can live without my cock for a whole month?". you decide to teach his cocky attitude a lesson and you try everything to rile him up. (which really isn't difficult to do.) "you're doing that on purpose, aren't you?" what, you? never! "what do you mean? i haven't done anything." you bat your eyes at him, feigning innocence. he grabs you by your waist. "just say you want me too, and I'll give it to you" but you will not give him the satisfaction, you refuse to lose against leehan's charm. no matter how tempting it is. "i don't need anything, but it seems like you're the one who can't keep his dick inside of his pants. you just need to say that i won." is all you say and he decides he needs to fuck that smirk off your face.

[fantaatix]

"i have no home now"

i remember a while back when this episode was still being highly anticipated people were debating whether or not stolas would be stripped of his title and powers, maybe even hired by blitz, and why that might be a bad thing

i'll just rip this straight from the post i found in my likes:

"Saying that Stolas needs to abdicate so their relationship can be healthy implies that a commoner really CAN'T be with royalty"

the thing is that i don't think that's necessarily what the show is trying to imply. i'll give them some credit, they posted this in august, i forget when exactly apology tour came out but i think there was a general acceptance that they'd be back together by the end of the season

i don't think that's the case either and here's why;

i think one of the overarching themes of this season is how blitz simultaneously ruins and saves people--whether or not these are his intentions varies from person to person

for example, those he believes he's ruined are his sister, fizz, his mom, and verosika

verosika is an outlier because of the fact that a) the three prior were close enough to be considered family, b) the three prior can all be pinned down to the same event, and c) i feel like he definitely meant to at least piss her off, as a means to push her away

you don't "steal their car, run three rings to wrath and max my credit on shitty horse-riding lessons" because you think it'll brighten someone's day

those he's ruined mostly want nothing to do with him, or keep themselves at a distance; barbie wants nothing to do with him, verosika hates his guts (used to, rather), and while they definitely care about each still, his friendship with fizz is not what it used to be

but now, with IMP, he seems to be on a trend of making a life for himself and giving others a new chance

these images are always paired together as like, "before and after" and i'm sure it's been mentioned dozens of times, but again--there is an outlier, and i think in this case it's moxxie

with millie and loona blitz identifies their struggles himself

with loona, he sees how rough she acts on the outside but sees the soft interior and recognises himself--he wants to give her a real chance at a life, free of judgement

with millie, it's essentially the same deal, except millie straight up tells him about her struggle to make a living and he offers her a job

but with moxxie, there is no "identification", at least not to the specifics. he's in jail, moxxie's in jail, things suck regardless. if anything, maybe blitz figured that being incarcerated was "the struggle", which is probably fair; i don't think you're gonna get "my dad is a sociopath, my mom left/died and my boyfriend left me for dead" first try

moxxie was not special to him in this moment; blitz didn't recognise some divine struggle or empathic connection, they've known each other for 30 seconds and know literally nothing about each other. blitz is looking to break out and see his daughter, that is his goal here. the question was not, "what is this guy's struggle?" the question was "can this guy work a gun?" and the answer may or may not have been yes

and you can tell, like...just by the way blitz looks at him after. it is so possible that he just planned to ditch him after they both got out but ended up not doing so for whatever reason. like, "oh wow, that definitely meant more to him than it meant to me"

that seems to be the case with all of the people he's helped in one way or another; he can't even see that he helps. it's confirmation bias, all he sees is the bad. he needs people to reel him back into reality, people like millie or fizz or maybe possibly stolas later on cough cough

but now back to the point i'm trying to make (and what brought this post to life);

first off, the face blitz makes once he is confronted with the idea that people would actually miss him if he was gone:

and secondly, these two lines:

blitz: you need a ride home

stolas: i...have no home now. everything i have is gone.

this is stolas at his most vulnerable. he has no powers, no home, his daughter is in custody of his Bitch Wife, and he has no lover.

you could argue a few of those things in western energy but in this moment he has absolutely nothing to fall back on, he is alone.

and then blitz invites him to stay with him because that's what he does, he helps people at their most vulnerable moments. he gives them a home.

that is the point here--this isn't about their relationship right now, this about blitz having an irresistible urge to protect people he cares about and acting on it, because like it or not that's his job for the time being. he's not a bodyguard but he'll be playing that role until he dies or stolas gets his powers back.

he can finally actually protect stolas now, maybe even feel fulfillment in doing so, not having to fall back on things like "i didn't think you could get hurt" and seemingly forgetting to mention the fact that "oh yeah someone's plotting to kill you you should maybe look into that"

this is where they learn trust in each other. trust and devotion.

[cassiesc0rner]

Impurities VII

Synopsis: You're the new girl at East Highland High, your only goal is to get through school. Until you come across Nate Jacobs

Genre: smut, slight fluff, slight angst

Pairing: Nate x fem!reader

Warnings: manipulation, jealousy, consumption of alcohol,

(semi) drunk sex, p in v, choking, begging, edging, sexual frustration, multiple orgasm, Nate considering non-con impregnation, lmk if I missed anything!

Song rec: Slut me out - NLE Choppa | Get it sexyy - Sexyy Red | Gimme more - Britney Spears | Haunted - Beyonce

WC: +9,8k

Other parts: previous part, next part

A/N: Shout out to Montell Fish’s music for once again helping me write smut, and shout out again to 💿 anon <3. Guess what, I still can’t add links to my posts but you can still find my previous posts on my pinned post. :3

Needless to say, Nate succeeded in getting you drunk, and you clearly had the time of your life.

He was on his way to get you a new drink, when some girls from the cheer squad decided to talk to him. And once he got your drink and returned, you weren't sitting on the couch anymore.

Fuck.

He cursed under his breath, well aware that nothing awful could've happened to you in the span of two minutes. But the thought of you not being under his watch right now, made him feel uneasy.

Nate walked through the crowd, and due to him being taller than most of the guests he could look around with ease. Once he spotted you in one of the corners of the living room he took a deep breath.

It surprised him at first, when he caught you talking to a student you've never even dared to look at— Rachel, the school's top cheerleader and one of the    popular girls.

He wasn't sure how to feel about it.

Sure, he thought it was cute that you socialized way easier, and it was nice that you were hanging out with people he actually knew, but he didn't get you drunk just so you’d leave him to talk to other girls.

He got you drunk because he wanted to have you all to himself, and to have even more power over you than he already had.

Once Nate had seen enough of you and Rachel talking, he decided to join you two. He was tipsy as well, not drunk however since he had to keep his head clear in order to watch out for you.

Which he felt like didn't really work, since he had lost you for a moment.

After he reached the two of you, he slung his arm around your waist, startling you a little since you were so focused on talking to Rachel.

He locked eyes with you, as he stared you down. "Having fun?" his tone was laced with an undertone only Rachel and her friends seemed to pick up on.

"Yeah.. Rachel's really cool," you slurred, as you smiled up at him, to which he simply nodded "did you know–" Nate cut you off, not even paying attention to Rachel "Why don't you come with me for a sec?"

Rachel glanced between the two of you, as she stayed quiet. You sighed and rolled your eyes– something you didn't do a lot around Nate, but it annoyed him nonetheless.

"It was nice meeting you, I'll be back soon." you assured her, still smiling as you wandered off to the hallway with your boyfriend.

Once you two entered the dimly lit hallway, he sighed as he shoved you just slightly, before removing his grip from your arm "What were you doing?" he asked as he leaned down, eyeing you intensely.

You chuckled in confusion "Huh..? What do you mean?" you asked, still too far gone to realize he was being serious "I was just talking to Rachel, you never told me she's so nice. I wouldn't have been so scared of this whole party if I knew everyone's so chill."

Nate placed his hands on your waist as you smiled, blinking up at him. But despite loving it when you admired him, Nate's tone remained stern. "I don't like it when you wander off like that," he said, his eyes boring into yours "especially when you're drunk."

You giggled softly "I'm not drunk, Nate.. maybe a little tipsy. But I was just having fun, isn't that what parties are for?" you pouted. Nate sighs, before putting on a small smile "Yeah of course, but.. I'm just looking out for you. I was confused when you weren't sitting there anymore." he explained.

The alcohol in your system made everything feel way lighter and less serious, resulting in you also not taking Nate serious. "Nate, relax," You laughed, playfully patting his solid chest "I was just having fun it's not that serious." you brushed him off, unaware of the way his jaw clenched as he stared you down.

He clearly didn't find the situation 'funny' or 'not that serious’.

"Not that serious?" he repeated, his grip tightening slightly. "C'mon Nate, I was just talking to her, no need to get so possessive." You didn't realize how your lighthearted comments angered him more and more.

He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. You just smiled at him as your hand wandered from his chest to his cheek, which caused Nate to flinch just slightly "You're cute when you're jealous." you teased.

You stood on your tip toes, and pressed a kiss onto his other cheek "But seriously, I'm not going anywhere so relax a little." you added.

Nate was conflicted: on one side he loved how you tried to reassure him, but he was also angry, because you were too drunk to understand how serious this was for him.

Even though it was his fault you were drunk in the first place.

Suddenly, one of your favourite songs started blasting through the speakers, causing your eyes to widen as you looked at Nate. "We should totally dance I love that song!"

You quickly took his hand, almost dragging him after you, as you made your way back to the living room. Once you started dancing, Nate made sure to stay as close to you as physically possible.

He didn't really dance, he preferred watching you as you closed your eyes and got lost in the music. Your moves were slightly uncoordinated, but Nate still thought you looked incredibly sexy.

Your laughter filled the room as you continued to sway to the song. Nate’s hands were placed on your hips as he looked around from time to time, checking if anyone dared to look your way.

He definitely didn’t miss the way some guys looked at you, even if it was just for a split second. He couldn’t blame them of course, not when you looked so pretty, your energy seemed to captivate everyone else.

At some point you smiled up at him, oblivious to the darkness in his eyes “Come on, Nate!” you whined loudly, over the blasting music “Loosen up a little.”

“I am loose.” he grumbled, but the way his fingers dug into your skin told a different story. You playfully swung your arms around his neck, to pull him closer. “This is your party, you should enjoy it.” you pouted, as you thought back to all the things you did to make this day special.

“I am enjoying it, I enjoy watching you.” He reassured you, as he pulled you against him. You leaned back against his arms as you smirked up at him. “Really?” you asked, as your eyes wandered down to his lips. “I enjoy watching you, too..” you admitted.

Before Nate had the chance to respond, someone bumped into you, completely throwing you out of the moment. Nate shot a glare at the person, ready to snap at the guy, but you quickly reached up to cup his cheek, in an attempt to redirect his attention back to you.

“Hey, it’s okay,” You whispered, your thumb brushing over his warm cheek “I’m sure he didn’t do it on purpose..” He took a deep breath, nodding as his gaze slowly shifted back to you.

He was holding himself back so well in front of you, and you didn’t even notice it. You tried to pull him back into the moment, continuing to dance, but Nate had other plans. “I think you’re done dancing. Let’s get some more drinks.”

It sounded like a suggestion, like you had a choice, but Nate already dragged you back into the kitchen. He didn’t plan on staying much longer since he felt like a ticking time bomb, ready to explode if anyone else would piss him off in the slightest.

When you two reached the kitchen, Nate instantly retrieved two new cups from the counter as you leaned against it, your head leaned back as you closed your eyes.

He looked at you, wanting nothing more than to carry you to his car right away and take you home. But he controlled himself once again, despite his patience being almost non-existent.

He mixed you another drink, making sure to mask the amount of vodka with the juice you liked so much. Then he mixed himself another drink as well, before handing you your cup.

When he grabbed his own cup, he saw you what drinking large sips of your cup. “I love this juice soo much..” you mumbled before finishing your cup, causing Nate to look at you in awe. “Can I have one more?” you chuckled.

Nate nodded, taking a sip of his own drink before placing it back on the counter and mixing you a new one. He tried to hide his smirk as he handed you the cup again.

And just like before you took a few large sips, not emptying the cup this time. After Nate emptied his cup, you two started chatting about some of the guests, and it really only took you a few minutes before you closed your eyes and sighed.

“Jesus.. I feel funny.” you exhaled, feeling the room spin even more than before. You felt so light but so heavy at the same time. Nate frowned as you breathed heavily. “Are you alright?” he asked, as he placed a hand on your cheek.

You nodded before smiling again. “Everything’s fine..” you said, your speech even more slurred than before. “We should probably go home.” Nate offered, hoping you’d agree, but you just whined. “No, no, no… ‘s fine ‘m just… I jus’ need a moment.. Fuck.” you laughed.

Nate sighed, before he noticed someone entering the kitchen. It was Max, and he looked more than concerned when he noticed your current state: Your hair slightly disheveled, your body slumped against the counter and your eyes closed.

You were too far gone to even notice him coming in, despite the door being opened, causing the music to be louder for a moment. It surprised him that you were this drunk, since Nate was around you the entire night.

He probably knew you never got drunk in your life, so why wasn’t he paying more attention? “Woah, Y/n are you okay?” he asked, as he approached you two. You slowly opened your eyes blinking slowly “Max?” You asked as you tilted your head slightly.

He nodded, but before he could say something Nate stepped in “She’s fine, she just drank a bit too much.” Nate responded casually. “I think we’re gonna head home now.” He continued.

Max intervened, “I think you should drink some water first, and see if you need anything else.” Max was well aware that Nate wasn’t pleased with him being worried for his girlfriend, but with your current state he couldn’t really pay attention to what Nate wants.

He quickly prepared you a cup with water, handing it to you “Here you go.” he said, his voice gentle. Max also drank of course, but he never went overboard with it. Especially now since it was his place, he had to take care of the other guests.

“Thanks, Maxie.” you giggled before taking the cup and sipping from it, some of the water running down your chin since your moves were still uncoordinated.

Nate shot you a dangerous look, more than glad that you were about to leave soon.

‘Thanks, Maxie.’

‘Maxie’

He wanted to bash Max’s head in, and he didn’t even do anything. “Do you need anything else? Maybe something to eat? I think there’s still some pizza left from earlier–” Nate quickly interjected “She’s fine, don’t worry..” he said harshly “I’ve got it under control.”

Max ignored Nate’s glare and kept his focus on you. “Are you sure you’re okay, Y/n?” he asked softly, his brows furrowed. “If you’re not feeling well, you shouldn’t be moving around too much.”

You nodded lazily but Nate was done “I told you, she’s fine!” he snapped “We’re just gonna leave, she needs to calm down somewhere quiet, right baby?”

You nodded slowly, as if you needed to process every word. Max nodded too, knowing he won’t be able to convince him. “I can call you guys a cab if you want to.” he offered, but Nate immediately shook his head.

“That’s not necessary, I’ll drive us home.” he declared, his tone dangerous. Max swallowed harshly, unable to believe he’d put you in danger like this. He knew that Nate smoked and drank earlier, so why was he doing this?

Sure, he knew that Nate was reckless and drive even when he drank. But with you in the passenger seat?

He glanced back at you, still worried but also well aware that if he pushed any further, he’d have Nate’s fist printed onto his face. Your hand gripped Nate’s forearm for balance as you looked at Max “I’ll be fine, don’t worry..” you said as you smiled lazily at him.

“Thank you for everything, and the.. the water.” You said as you stumbled past him. “Sure, no problem. Get home safe.” he said before watching you two exit the kitchen.

Once you two were back in the living room, Nate leaned down before sternly saying “We’re leaving. And you’re not gonna talk to him again, you understand?”

You clearly didn't process the possessive edge to his voice, and you were too tired to argue with him, so you just nodded "Yes, sir." you giggled, as you leaned against him.

Nate’s grip on you tightened as he sighed in relief “Good girl.”

When you two left Max's house, the cool air hit you like a truck, which was a good think because you seemed to come to your senses again. Nate led you to his car, roughly opening the passenger door before helping you sit down.

You leaned back, breathing evenly as you waited for Nate to get in, completely forgetting to buckle up. Once he was inside, he shot you a glare "buckle up." he ordered, his voice so low that it took you a moment to process what he said.

You nervously fumbled with the seatbelt, and after a moment of struggling, Nate leaned over, his faces inches away from yours as he snapped it into place. You couldn't help but admire his face, the way his long lashes made him look so innocent from your current position.

"There, all set." he mumbled before pulling out of the driveway and onto the street. The world outside was blurry, the streetlights flashing by as Nate drove much faster than was safe.

But it excited you in a way.

Your head snapped towards him as he started speaking. "Do you have any idea how crazy it drives me, seeing other guys talk to you like that?" He admited, his jaw clenched.

He wanted to yell his frustration out, show you how angry he was at Max for not minding his own business, and at you for just letting him intervene. But he couldn't explode in front of you, not now, not when he still had plans for the night.

You shook your head in response. "I meant it earlier, when I said that you're mine. You're my everything, and it pisses me off, when people like Max make me feel like you're not.."

He clenched his jaw as he gripped the steering wheel. "I want to beat the shit out of him whenever he just fucking looks at you." He continued, before you interrupted him "Nate.. you're driving so fast.." you pointed out, which caused Nate to scoff "Are you scared?"

You slowly shook your head, not sure if you were telling the truth and neither was Nate, so he stepped on the gas pedal, causing you to gasp.

Nate however was having the time of his life, smiling as he raced through the streets. "Nate, s-slow down.." you pleaded.

"That's the first time I've ever heard you say that.." he teased, causing you to hide your face behind your hands. "Aw, Y/n come on," Nate cooed "I just wanna get you home fast." he added, as he slowed down a little bit.

You sighed in relief, before you nodded. His hand made its way to your cold thigh, squeezing it as his eyes were glued to the road.

He tried to ignore it, but he had problems focusing. Not only because you were next to him and he was impatient, but also because of the alcohol in his system.

Every once in a while when he'd mix you a new drink, he'd also pour himself a cup. Sure, he was nowhere near as drunk as you were, but he was definitely tipsy.

And the way you looked at him didn't make it any easier for him. When the car came to a stop at a red light, he glared at you, as his grip on the steering wheel tightened "Keep looking at me like that, and we won't make it home."

You blinked at him, before furrowing your brows in confusion—which was so cute it made him want you even more. "Why?" You asked as your tilted your head in confusion.

Nate let out a low chuckle at your innocent question. "Why?" He echoed, as he smiled "Because I'll pull over right now and take you in my car, even if we're not far away from home." he promised, his hand wandering higher up your thigh.

Your breath hitched as you looked at him once more "Noo.. 's not comfortable in a car." You pouted, despite involuntarily spreading your thighs apart for his hand.

Nate chuckled once he noticed, slowly retrieving his hand in a testing way. "Good thing we're almost there." he murmured, retrieving his hand teasingly slow as he watched your reaction. 

Once the traffic lights turned green again, Nate wasted no time, stepping on the gas pedal to make a sharp turn into his street. The car roared forward, tires screeching as he pulled into his driveway at an insane speed.

Before you could fully process it the engine turned off, leaving you both in deafening silence. Nate quickly turned towards you to unbuckle you.

Just as your hand reached for the door handle, his fingers wrapped around your arm—tight, almost bruising. He yanked you back toward him, his eyes burning into yours, and the intensity of his gaze both feared and excited to you.

The silence between you was heavy, you could hear nothing but the pounding of your own heart, each beat echoing in your ears.

But then, just as quickly as the storm in his eyes had flared, it disappeared. Nate exhaled slowly, his grip loosening before he let go entirely. He shoved his door open and stepped out, slamming it shut behind him with enough force to make the car shudder.

You sat there, stunned, your arm tingling where his fingers had been. What just happened? You barely had a moment to catch your breath before your door was ripped open.

Nate stood there, his eyes dark and unreadable. Without a word, he reached down, hands firm but careful this time, and lifted you effortlessly out of the car.

You gasped as he lifted you up and hoisted you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing, your legs dangling in front of his chest. "N-Nate–" you yelped, as you tried to hold onto anything.

Nate just chuckled darkly before lightly slapping your thigh just enough to make you gasp. "What?" he asked obliviously, as he took several steps toward his front door.

They way he was able to simply swing you over his shoulder, with no effort whatsoever sent a wave of heat through you. "Let me down.." you said, but your voice was more breathless than demanding.

"I will, don't worry." he assured you, and despite not being able to see his face, you could hear the smirk in his voice.

He reached his front door, unlocking it with one hand before finally entering. You still whined, the position you were in and the motion of him walking making you dizzy "Nate..." You complained, but Nate was quick to shut you up with a harsh slap on your butt.

You gasped, involuntarily rubbing your thighs together—which of course didn't go unnoticed by Nate. "Hey.. what was that for?" You pouted as your cheeks heated up.

"For whining so damn much." he retorted before finally lifting you off his shoulder and onto the ground. Once you stood in front of him, in the dark hallway, he glanced down at you with the same intensity he had in the car. He was quick to kick his shoes off, waiting for you to do the same, but you only stared at him with that look.

You just opened your mouth to talk, when Nate grabbed your face and leaned down to kiss you. The kiss was messy due to you being drunk, and caught off guard, but Nate didn't care. He pushed both of you against the nearest wall, a small thud following as you knocked something over on the small cabinet that stood there.

But Nate didn't really pay it any mind, too hellbent on feeling you, to care. His lips were back on you in a split second, his teeth grazing your bottom lip before tugging it gently.

You whimpered into his mouth when his hands roughly bunched your dress up, his movements becoming more desperate and urgent. He was just about to bunch it up far enough to catch a glimpse of your panties when—

click

Both of you froze, as you looked at the source of the sound, the hallway suddenly way brighter than before.

Standing just a few feet away was Nate's mom, looking both tired and surprised as she took in the scene in front of her: You pinned against the wall, hair disheveled and by the look of your face, definitively not sober.

Nate quickly let go of you before he ran a hand through his hair. You stumbled slightly at the loss of stability, but Nate was quick to steady you again. "Jesus, Nate," She sighed, somehow still relieved that it was just you two and not an intruder.

The tone of her voice seemed to wake you up from the state you were in. You scrambled to push your dress down again

"I-I.. Um.. we're so sorry." you nervously rambled, "Mom," Nate interrupted, his tone stern as he slowly looked towards her. "why are you up?"

Great, just what he needed.

Of course he wasn't embarrassed, he couldn't care less about his mom seeing you two like this. But he was mad at himself, for not taking you upstairs right away.

His mom scoffed "I woke up because of the noise. I thought someone broke into our house, Nate." You looked to the ground, you were so ashamed that you started to sober up a little bit.

"Sorry, didn't think we'd wake you up." He replied, almost too nonchalant. "Of course you didn't." She muttered, as she narrowed her eyes at him before glancing at you "Y/n, honey, are you okay? You look like you've had a little too much.."

You nodded slowly, trying to stammer out a response, but Nate was quick to speak for you "She's fine, I was just about to get her to bed." His mom nodded, but her face gave away that she didn't believe it. "Yeah, sure."

Nate rolled his eyes, before pulling you away from the wall "Good night, mom." he said, before walking you towards the stairs "Good Night, Marsha." you called out, before walking upstairs with Nate.

Once you two made your way into Nate's room, he was quick to close the door behind him. "Fucking finally.." He groaned, as he quickly locked his door. Then he turned towards you, taking in the sight of your flushed face.

He approached you with deliberate steps, and that alone got you more excited of what was to come. Without saying another word he closed the distance between you two, as his lips found yours in a heated kiss.

You whined in response, which enabled him to finally lead you over to his bed. He kissed you one last time, before pushing you onto his bed, your heel clad feet still outside.

He slowly went down on his knees, something you didn't expect to ever happen. His gaze was fixated on your feet as his hands slowly removed one of your heels "You know that I'd do anything for you, right?" he asked, his tone calmer than before.

You nodded, as you kept your gaze locked on his hands "And you know that I'm never gonna let anyone come between us, right?" you nodded again, slightly confused.

Nate placed one shoe onto the floor, before tending towards your other foot "Not even my parents?" You asked quietly, as you remembered their off putting behaviour earlier.

Nate looked up at you "Not even your parents." he assured you, wondering why you suddenly thought of them, and not the countless guys that can't help but stare at you every day. "Why do you ask?" He finally asked.

You shrugged "I don't know.. They were acting weird earlier. I feel like they're plotting something to break us up.." you admitted. "I didn't want to tell you earlier, because I wanted you to enjoy your party.”

Nate clenched his jaw, not because he was angry at you for telling him now, he was angry at your parents for constantly making you worry.

They're bad for you, no doubt. And he couldn't wait for the day you'd be free from them.

"Don't worry, princess," he cooed, as his hand wandered towards your knee, rubbing it comfortingly "You'll always be mine, they're not gonna stop me. Never." he assured you, before finally removing your other shoe and placing it next to the other one.

Then he stood up again, before disposing his shirt and tossing it onto the floor. Your eyes immediately moved from his face to his chest, still in awe at how muscular he was at his age.

When your hand reached out to touch him, he reached for it, before guiding it over his abs, down to the waistband of his jeans. He presses your palm against the growing bulge there.

"Fuck, you have no idea what you do to me," he rasps, his eyes closed as he enjoys your touch. Your eyes widen as you feel him in your hands. "Is that why you wanted to get home so fast?" You grinned, still bold because of the alcohol in your system.

Nate nodded, chuckling darkly "I wanted to leave with you the moment I saw you in that dress." he admitted, before opening his eyes, the sight of your face so close to his crotch almost ripped a moan from him.

What if he'd just use your mouth until you begged him to let you breathe again? Was all he could think about. It was your fault for looking up at him so innocently.

But once again he stayed strong. He didn't want your first blowjob to be while you're shitfaced, he wanted you to be fully aware while you do it.

When you felt him twitch in your hand, you removed your hand, blinking quickly "Is everything okay?" you asked concerned "Yeah, I just got lost in thoughts." he explained.

When your hand moved back to his jeans, and fumbled with his belt, he chuckled "Are you that impatient, baby?" he asked, his tone teasing. But you smirked in response "I think you're the one who's impatient." You retorted, a smirk etched onto your face that set something off in Nate.

You were so.. bold.

But it didn't bother him. In fact, it made him want to use you in every way possible, because he knew the moment he'd be inside you, that bratty attitude would disappear.

He always was so gentle with you, because he had no reason to be rough. But if you kept that act up, he might have to change his ways for the night. "Careful baby, you don't wanna make me mad." He warned, but his tone was still playful.

You pressed your thighs together at the subtle warning, god you needed him so bad. "Maybe I do." You smiled, before you realized what just slipped out of your mouth.

Nate scoffed, looking down at you as if you were the most prized possession ever. "Yeah? You think you could handle me getting mad?" Nate's voice was calm, as if he was testing the waters. His hands moved down to grip your thighs tightly as he bent down. "Because baby, I don't think you can."

"Try me." you challenged him playfully, clearly unaware of what you'd get yourself into. He chuckled drily as he shook his head. Then his gaze moved back to your face "I mean," you started as you shyly looked down "maybe you'll actually enjoy it that way.."

Nate's brows furrowed, as he tried to understand what you're implying "What do you mean?" he finally asked. You were fidgeting with your fingers as you pouted.

"I don't know.. I just feel like you're not fully enjoying it. At first I thought it's because I'm not attractive enough or anything," you stated, which resulted in Nate furrowing his brows even further because he couldn't believe you actually still thought that way. "but now I just think.. you're hiding something from me."

Why did you have to be so cute?

He searched your eyes, looking for a sign that he could tell you the truth without you being weirded out. Of course he enjoyed having sex with you, even when he wasn't his usual rough self. But even he couldn't deny the fact that he was holding back all the time.

He sighed before trying to find a way to explain it to you "I'm not hiding anything from you, it's just... I don't want to hurt you, or make you feel uncomfortable.." he explained.

You tilted your head, as you looked at him in confusion. "But I am comfortable with you. And.. if I'm uncomfortable with whatever it is you'd do, I'd tell you and we can just.. do something else." You assured him with a smile. He knew you wouldn't tell him you're uncomfortable.

You never did.

You didn't when Nate made you change your style, You didn't when Nate asked you to try on the lingerie and you sure as hell didn't, when he drove like a lunatic earlier.

Did he use that to his advantage? Definitely, but at the end of the day you can't be mad at him for crossing the line when you're too scared to tell him, right?

Nate sighed in response before shaking his head. You pouted as you looked up at him "What is it Nate.. tell me what you like." you pushed, to which Nate shook his head again "What is so bad that you can't even tell me?"

His jaw tensed, and for a moment it was so quiet, you thought he might ignore the question and get mad "I like control." he responded to which you furrowed your brows "But.. you are in control already.." you trailed off, confused by what he meant.

"Not like that, princess." he chuckled darkly, his patience wearing thin "Then how?" you pressed, your tone soft but insistent.

He ran his hand through his hair, sighing as he tried to find the right words "I don't just want control. I want all of you, completely." you blinked up at him, still as confused as before "But you have me, Nate." you whispered sincerely.

He shook his head, "Not the way I want." he finally admitted. "Then show me, or tell me how you want me." you whined as you looked up at him.

Nate searched your eyes for any sign of fear or doubt, but when he found none, he decided to tell you. He knew you still weren't sober, which meant that you'd react to it more casually.

And who knows, maybe you'd even forget about all of this once you'd wake up tomorrow. "I wanna make you beg for me, cry for me, fuck I just.." He groaned as he closed his eyes in an attempt to calm down.

But you still sat there, not even scared, like he feared. "Nate, I already told you that you can be yourself with me, and that I understand you. That also applies to this." You reminded him, as you took his hand in yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

You didn't want to admit it, the fact that you were excited, and that the thought of him being a little rougher ignited something within you. But you feared you might have to, in order to convince him to fully let go.

"And who knows.." you started, your tone playful, "maybe I'll like it better that way, too." you smirked, knowing that you probably would. "Let's just try it out, yeah?" you pressed, hoping to coax him in somehow.

He didn't respond, and the room filled with silence as he contemplated your words once more. With one final nod he leaned down to capture your lips in a soft kiss, a stark contrast for what was to come.

When he pulled back, his forehead rested lightly against yours as he whispered "I love you so fucking much, you know that?" you nodded, a soft smile on your lips. "I love you too."

He smiled back, but his smile didn't last long, as if a flip switched, his smile was replaced by an expression that made your stomach flip– a mix of hunger and want so intense, it felt like you've never seen it before.

His hands moved to the straps of your dress, his touch precise as he slid them down your arms. Once he reached your waist, he gave you a commanding look "Lift your hips for me, baby."

You immediately obeyed, as he pulled the dress off, leaving you in the special lingerie set Nate had bought you.

The one you wore during your first time.

His breath hitched for a moment before he chuckled breathlessly "Fuck.." he shook his head "you're insane." he declared, as his gaze lingered on your body.

You giggled in return "Am I?" you purred, as you shifted onto your knees and crawled further up the bed, giving him a perfect view of your backside.

For a moment he thought he'd lose it.

He'd already lose his mind when you were shy and anxious around him, always needing his reassurance for everything. But this? Seeing you all confident and seductive, almost as if you felt like you were in charge, probably turned him on just as much.

Because he knew he had the power to turn you into a mess in no time.

Nate was quick to undo his belt, and for some reason the sound of his belt clacking made you feel even more excited. Once he got rid of his pants, he climbed onto his bed, hovering over you.

You swallowed harshly, almost feeling like you got into trouble. He pushed one knee between your thighs, his two hands placed next to your head as he caged you under him.

"I'm gonna ruin you tonight." he simply stated, as his eyes bore into yours. But you only nodded and smiled up at him.

He leaned down towards your neck, his mouth leaving wet kisses along your sensitive skin, and for some reason that simple action already ripped a moan from you.

his kisses started becoming more hectic, until he finally started sucking a hickey onto your lower neck. You gasped, caught off guard by the pain, but growing to like it as your hand flew to his hair. "Mmh.. Nate.." you hummed, the ache between your thighs growing stronger.

Nate noticed it as well, simply by the way you started squirming under him, and the increasing speed of your breathing.

He lifted his head to look at you, smirking as he saw the desperation in your face. His hand moved down over your stomach, causing you to shudder, until it reached the waistband of your panties.

"You're so sensitive tonight," Nate chuckled when his hand wandered further down, feeling the wet patch on your panties.

Your mouth parted slightly when his fingers pressed onto the damp spot, your hips bucking up in response. "What got you so worked up?" He added, his finger moving in circular motions.

You struggled to form a coherent sentence, the only thing leaving your mouth being gasps and broken moans. "I-I.." Nate chuckled as he watched you struggle. "we h-haven't done this in... so long.. fuck." you interrupted yourself, as Nate slid past your panties and inserted one finger into you.

He could feel how tight you were, clearly proving your point. "Mhm, you're right.." he nodded, as he felt your walls pulsate around him "You could've just told me that you needed me." he muttered, before kissing along your jaw.

"You know I'd never turn you down." he added, before plunging another finger inside. You nodded as a whimper escaped your lips "I-I know.." you whined, as your hands fisted the bed sheets.

Nate paid close attention to your face, as your brows furrowed in concentration. When he angled his fingers higher, he watched as your eyes widened, and your breathing became more irregular.

"Right here?" he asked cockily, speeding up his movements. You nodded as a string of moans left your lips. "Fuck.. oh my god.." you groaned.

Nate loved it when you'd curse, not only did you sound incredibly hot while you did it, it also felt like he was ruining you more and more.

He knew you were close, so close to your release, but he couldn't allow you to cum yet. Not when he wanted you to beg for him. With one final run against your way too sensitive clit, he withdrew his fingers, and you immediately felt empty.

You looked up at him as if you couldn't believe what just happened, but Nate just chuckled "Relax, I just wanted to remove your panties." He lied, as his hands moved back to your waistband, this time he didn't even need to tell you to lift your hips before he pulled them off in one swift move.

He hummed in approval, before leaning down to press kisses onto your soft stomach. You squirmed in response, desperately trying to move higher up the bed just to feel his mouth closer to– "Why are you moving so much?"

Nate pulled you back down, before he continued to kiss along your belly "Nate, please.." you whined, causing Nate to smirk against your skin. "Yeah?" he asked, as he glanced up at you. "Can you.. use your fingers again?"

He nodded, before dragging his fingers along your abdomen, "Like this?" he asked with a completely straight face. You only groaned in response "No not like that!" you retorted, as your hand moved down to his wrist, attempting to drag his hand further south.

But to your surprise, his hand didn't budge a bit "Nate!" you scolded, sulking as you looked at him "Yeah?" he deadpanned, clearly aware of what you wanted "You need to be more specific with what you want, Baby." he explained.

You pouted "Can't I show you what I want?" you tried to move his hand lower, but again, he didn't budge. He shook his head in response "No, but you can tell me what you want."

You huffed, before rolling your eyes "I want your fingers, inside me." you instructed, your tone way too bratty for his liking. His eyes turned dark as he glared at you "So demanding.. why don't you beg for it then?"

You scoffed, unable to believe he was being serious "Nate, please, I'm begging you." you pleaded, still trying to wiggle into the right position. "That didn't sound like begging, more like.. pleading." He rasped as he traced his fingers lower, until they brushed lightly over your clit.

You gasped, still bucking your hips in search for stimulation. "Nate, please, I-I already begged." You whined, to which Nate hummed "Yeah, but it didn't sound convincing the first time." he responded, before circling a finger over your entrance, his eyes practically glued to your face.

You continued to move around, until he placed his other hand onto your stomach to hold you down. "Nate!" you whimpered, as you threw your head back. "Please, please." You begged once more, the sound music to his ears, "Please what?" he responded, his finger still circling your hole.

"I need your fingers.. inside me, please." You breathed out. He nodded, "Good girl." he said, before moving further up, his face inches away from yours. You looked up at him, your eyes slightly glossy.

When he finally plunged two fingers back into you with ease, your eyes rolled back, enjoying the moment. But it was only short lived because Nate was quick to pull them out again, still not done teasing you. You whined again, close to sobbing.

He held them up for you to see "Look at that," he stated, scissoring his fingers, the string of your wetness connecting them "See how wet you are already?" he asked condescendingly, knowing you'd probably turn shy again.

Except, you didn't.

You were way too desperate to be shy "I know, please, why did you stop?" you pouted instead, not even paying attention to the way his fingers were glistening.

Nate scoffed before complying and pushing them back inside, his eyes never leaving yours. You moaned in relief, relaxing again as he pumped them in and out.

You closed your eyes when his thumb started to toy with your nub, but opened them just as fast when he halted his movements. "Keep your eyes open." He demanded before continuing, "W-why?" you asked, as you blinked up at him.

"I want you to look at me." he reasoned, before leaning down even further, his hot breath fanning over your face. You tilted your head, your lips parting as if you silently asked for a kiss.

And he knew, of course he knew, his mouth curving into a smile. He leaned down just enough for his lips to brush over yours.

The soft touch, made your breath hitch and you instinctively chased his lips, but he kept pulling back, only allowing your lips to brush against his.

When you whined, your eyes turning glossy once again, he finally leaned in, kissing you deeply, as his fingers moved faster. You moaned into his mouth as your brows furrowed, you were close. So close again.

When Nate broke the kiss, his lips still millimeters away from yours you panted "I'm close.." you whimpered, "Yeah?" he asked, as he felt you clench around him, ready to finally let go. You nodded, bracing yourself as your hand moved to his shoulder.

You were about to let the feeling of bliss and relief wash over you, but Nate removed his hand completely from your mound. And you just stared up at him, tears clouding your vision as you were unable to believe he did that.

You sobbed, as your orgasm slipped away. Your hand was quick to move down, ready to relieve yourself but just as you reached your clit, Nate's strong hand gripped yours and pinned it down, next to your head.

You sobbed again, tears rolling down the side of your face as you panted. And Nate was reeling, he was sure that there hasn't been a single moment in his life were he was this hard.

He couldn't even say anything, for a moment he just watched you cry and struggle under him. "W-why are you.. why did you d-do that?" you sobbed, waiting for him to do something, anything.

He cooed, as his hand came up to wipe your tears away. "I'm sorry, Baby." He apologized, but even in your current state you could tell he wasn't serious.

He slid off the bed to remove his boxers, when he saw your hungry gaze, he chuckled. "Do you wanna take 'em off for me?" He asked, as he stepped closer to you. And as if on command, you rolled over towards him.

Nate waited until your shaky hands pulled his boxers down, his length slapping against his stomach as he stepped out of his boxers. You almost audibly moaned at the mere sight, still shocked by how big he is, especially up close.

Your hand stretched out to touch him, but Nate's hand was wrapped around your wrist once again. You looked up at him through your wet lashes, as if you were waiting for him to let go so you could touch him.

"Say please." He demanded softly, and you immediately obliged. "Please." You whispered. He removed his grip on you, watching intently as you wrapped your hand around him, stroking his erection softly.

Nate groaned, until you looked up at him again "Can I try... Can I.. put it in my mouth?" You asked eagerly, your tongue swiping over your lips.

The question caught him off guard, but he still nodded "Go ahead, princess, but be careful." he warned, knowing how inexperienced you were.

You nodded before opening your mouth wide, your hand slowly leading his head into your mouth. Nate inhaled sharply when his leaking tip came in contact with your tongue.

You wrapped your mouth around his head, trying to get used to the foreign feeling, and the salty taste of his precum. You looked up at him for a second, until his intense gaze became too much for you.

Nate chuckled breathlessly "No, keep looking at me." he rasped. His resolve was starting to crumble, as he looked into your shy eyes. You were determined to take more of him into your mouth.

Nate threaded his hand through your hair, as he watched you struggle. The urge to push your head further down, and force his cock down your throat was immense.

But he couldn't afford to break your trust, so he slowly pulled you off, a string of saliva connecting your mouth with his length. And as if on instinct, your head leaned in again, ready to take him back into your mouth.

Nate tightened his grip on your hair, as he chuckled darkly "Look at you," he taunted "so fucking needy for my cock." You whined in response, starting to feel shy again as you averted your gaze. Nate tugged on your hair, causing you to gasp and look back up at him. "Did you like it?" he asked, to which you nodded.

"Yeah, I bet you did.." he scoffed, as his gaze wandered to your thighs, which were desperately rubbing against each other. "Nate.. please." You whined as your desperation for him grew.

"Please what?" He pressed, despite knowing what you were asking for "Please fuck me, Nate, I'm begging you." You nearly cried out.

Nate groaned in response, in love with the way you begged for him. He nodded, removing his hand from your hair before he slid back into his bed. You turned back onto your back, your legs instantly welcoming him back.

He wanted to degrade you so bad.

When he hovered above you, he leaned down again, kissing along your collarbone and your neck, just to torture you further. When he heard you whimper and beg again, he decided to lift his head and stop, before his hands wandered below your back to unclasp your bra.

Once the bra was roses anywhere in his room, his mouth was back on you, this time on your breasts. Usually you loved having his mouth on you, but right now you needed him to be inside you. So you begged again, hoping he'd finally give in.

And he almost did.

He brushed the tip of his dick against your nub, causing you to shudder beneath him. He was just about to sink into you when he realized something.

He wasn't wearing a condom.

He knew you were too far gone to care or to realize, but he wasn't. He wanted to push the doubts aside, especially when he looked into your eyes, seeing the way you were aching for him.

But what about the consequences? Would it be in his favour if you'd end up pregnant? Maybe your parents would take you away from him, move again, or maybe, just maybe, it'd tie you two together in a way that no one— not Max, or your parents, or anyone else— could undo.

The thought hit him like a truck, it was so wrong but he just couldn't help himself. The thought of getting you pregnant was terrifyingly tempting.

And you were completely oblivious, what if this was his only chance? The only chance to make the right thing for both of you?

But he also knew that it wouldn't be as easy as he imagined it to be. You would be angry at him, because you trusted him, you'd know that he wasn't drunk enough to 'accidentally' get you pregnant.

But maybe he could explain it to you, maybe you'd understand—"Nate..? What's wrong?" You whispered, worried you had upset him somehow. Were you being too needy? Was he angry?

His jaw clenched as he tried to make a decision, his hand gripping your thigh so hard you were sure it would bruise. "You're mine.. right?" he suddenly asked, his tone serious.

You smiled, your fingers trailing up his arm, "Always." you whispered, your voice soft and breathless.

Always— that word, the way you reassured him.

His grip on your thighs remained tight as he hesitated, frozen in place. You didn't even notice, shifting beneath him impatiently, almost as if you were luring him in to give in.

God, he wanted to, he wanted nothing else in that moment. The thought of making you his once again, was intoxicating.

But you were drunk, and as much as he internally screamed at himself to do it, another part—one that you had practically implanted in him during the time of your relationship—told him to stop.

You deserved this, you deserved a chance to think this through. This could, and would, change everything, and he wasn't in the position to decide that now.

He nodded, before he reached over the bedside table and retrieved a condom from one of the drawers. He quickly ripped the package and tossed it away, before sliding it over his by now painfully hard erection.

His jaw was still clenched however, and he was confused by how much you had changed him. It bothered him in a way, made him feel like he became soft. Usually he wouldn't give a fuck about something being wrong.

What were you doing to him?

He lined up with your entrance, before immediately diving into you with ease, a groan leaving his lips as you immediately clenched around him. Your eyes rolled back as you released a long moan, more than happy that you finally got what you wanted.

He groaned as he set a ruthless pace, slamming into you as you tried to catch your breath. Nate grabbed your thighs and pushed them further towards your chest, allowing him to go even deeper.

It was as if a flip switched inside him. He seemed so calm just a moment ago, but now he was beyond frustrated, both because he held back this entire time, and because he didn't like the effect you had on him.

You didn't care though, completely blending his voice out as you tried to finally reach your high. You knew he was talking to you, saying something about how you were changing him, and how he was about to ruin you now, but despite all that, you were too focused on the feeling of his deep inside you.

Until his hand was suddenly wrapped around your throat.

Your eyes shot open as you stared at him "I said fucking look at me." he gritted through his teeth, his pace not faltering one bit. You blinked up at him as his hand tightened.

Based on the look on his face, you should be scared and try to calm him down. But you weren't scared, in fact it turned you on even more, because it was such a stark contrast to the way he usually treated you.

This is what you meant when you told him to let go, and to be himself. "Nate." You choked out, your eyes once again glassing over. It took him a moment to realize how hard he squeezed your throat.

And it turned him on so much.

The fact that he got to decide whether you'll breathe or not was so thrilling, but it quickly reminded him of the way he choked Maddy and how much of a deal it was.

He grunted, just about to loosen his grip, when he felt you clench around him, your pussy literally pulsating as you stared up at him. He smirked as he looked down at you, halting his movements "Fuck.. you're into this, aren't you?" he taunted.

When you didn't respond and only whined because he stopped rutting into you, he chuckled mockingly "You're acting like a fucking slut." he spat, as he leaned down closer, watching tears form in your eyes again.

He loosened his grip, allowing you to talk. But you only coughed and cried out "Nate p-please.. I was so close.." you sobbed, your voice raspy from the rough treatment Nate gave you just mere seconds ago.

He blinked, unable to believe you were solely focused on the fact that he stopped pleasuring you, instead of the the fact that he degraded you.

"I know, baby.." He slowly continued moving again, causing your eyes to roll back immediately as you moaned loudly. "It's just so much fun to tease you, I can't help myself.. You look so pretty when you cry for me." He explained as he trusted into you harder again.

You panted as your hand wrapped around Nate's wrist. Not because you wanted to pull his hand away from your throat, but because you just needed something to hold onto as he wrecked you. "Nate, I'm gonna cum.. fuck.." you warned, knowing this one would be intense.

He nodded squeezing your throat once again "Beg for it.. beg for me to let you cum." you didn't waste any time as you begged, "Please, fuck.. Nate please.." you whimpered, continuing to plead as tears were starting to build up again.

Nate would love to continue watching you like this: desperate, fucked out, crying, but he decided you must've suffered enough. So his hand moved from your throat down your body until his thumb landed on your clit.

You started panting, getting closer and closer to your orgasm until the relief finally washed over you. You felt the world blur around you as you let the intense feeling wash over you.

Nate watched in awe as your face started to contort in pleasure, knowing he was the reason. It brought him closer to his release, as he continued to thrust into you.

You blinked up at him as you lazily shook your head, overwhelmed by the pleasure. Nate only chuckled "What? Too much?" when you nodded, he continued "Weren't you begging for this just a moment ago? I think you can take it baby.."

You whimpered as he continued to push into you, it all felt too much for you as your shaky hand reached out for his cheek "Nate.. 's too much.." you whispered shakily.

Nate groaned in response, getting closer and closer. He just couldn't stop pounding into you, it felt too good to stop, and you sounded and looked so pretty.

Your eyes rolled back as Nate continued to hit all the right spots, despite you being sensitive and completely overwhelmed by the feeling you couldn’t help it. It all felt too good.

"Fuck.." Nate groaned when you squeezed him tightly. He knew he could make you cum again, and he was going to do it.

His mouth was glued onto your neck as he continued to flick your way too sensitive clit “Gonna be a good girl and cum for me again?” he mumbled onto your skin as his thrust grew more deliberate.

The way he called you a good girl had your eyes rolling back into your skull. His rhythm faltered slightly as he fought to hold back. His mind was filled with you —your sounds, the faint scent of your perfume mixed with your very own scent, how perfect you looked beneath him.

“Nate!” You moaned, the only thing on your mind as you reached your high a second time. As your walls contracted around him, his thrusts grew erratic, he removed his hand from your clit and gripped your thighs as he rammed into you with force.

His body seemed to move on pure instinct, his muscles tensed as he released a low guttural moan, cursing as his climax finally washed over him. He shuddered as he emptied himself inside you, wishing the condom wasn’t between you both.

He savoured every second of his orgasm as he buried himself deep inside you one final time, his head resting in your neck. Your shallow breathing filled the room, as you laid there sprawled out.

Your eyes were closed as you tried to catch your breath. You almost felt weightless as you almost drifted off to sleep. Nate noticed that, as he looked at your face. His thumb stroked gently asking your cheek “Y/n?” he called out softly.

Your eyes opened slowly “Yeah..” you managed to whisper. Nate chuckled once he was aware that you’re fine. “Too much for you, huh?” he taunted, his voice showing signs of pride and satisfaction.

You gave him a weak smile as you shook your head. “No..” You protested, but Nate was clearly aware that you were about to pass out any moment. He chuckled as he slowly pulled out of you, drawing a groan from you.

He sighed, as he removed the condom and threw it into the bin. He wanted to draw you a bath and dress you into his shirt, but as he got out of bed you pulled the blanket over you and rolled onto the side without uttering another word.

He just stared at you for a minute, admiring his work as he took in the sight of your disheveled hair, the marks on your neck—for which you’d definitely scold him later on.

He went to the bathroom to freshen up a little, before he walked to his bed, turned the lights off, and laid down next to you, pulling you against him as he did.

You truly were his

✎ Jesus this took so long lmao, but I hope you’ll enjoy this chapter (even if it’s basically just smut💀) again, feel free to leave nee feedback because it always helps me improve!! ♡

- Cassandra

Taglist:

@lilyrachelcassidy, @endless----love, @sophsss867, @jennnsthings, @digitalpup444, @vividfleur, @tsofo26, @lunalvrsblog, @sunshinedaisy21, @carley12041 @cc13723things, @amortentiaaaa, @wtrpxrks, @faeryggutz

[glitter-stained]

Look, I'll say it: Zurr isn't a magical demon that took over Bruce's body, it's a vilifying, demonizing take on induced DID. I can't keep seeing people fight to defend Bruce's honour in Gotham War by saying "it wasn't actually him so it's not his fault", reject the Lazarus Pit Madness headcanon because "Jason and he alone did his crimes and he has no excuse", and then we're talking about how Bruce's or Dick's trauma is what made him a hero, one post later on my board it's "the lazarus pit madness headcanon is unnecessary because Jason's behaviour is completely explainable and logical if you just take in account that he has cptsd" (or bpd depending on the post) and then that fanfic I had to stop reading because a character literally was screaming at Jason "so what you died get over yourself but you weren't magically controlled by the pit so you have zero excuse and justification for being angry" and then a post about "wow why is Batman punching down on all these mentally ill people", and then in the replies "are you dumb it's because those crazies are bombing orphanages..."

I'm still thinking about that moment in "dumpster slasher" where Batman is like "the killer is still free while poor Elmore [a homeless guy with substance use disorder and major neurocognitive disorder] is being shipped off to Arkham... This doesn't sit right" yeah buddy I'm sure if you ponder that for a while, the reason why the fact the only mental health facility in your city is also a prison for dangerous criminals with no apparent mental illness doesn't sit right with you will appear to you eventually.

Maybe it's time to confront the fact that the difference between a hero and villain in dc is often whether their mental illness is demonized, glorified or minimized. Or the fact that attenuated circumstances and responsibility exists on a gradient and there is such thing as "altered responsibility due to mental illness" in a trial. Maybe it's not "oh it was this evil Zurr/Batman entity, not Bruce/Batman, so there is no responsibility to be taken and anyone condemning those actions as abuse is talking in bad faith" maybe it's "this is a terrible representation of something that exists and should be treated respectfully" and "I don't have to accept this terribly harmful rethoric and fucked up depiction into my conception of my fav's characterization in such a dislocated, often incoherent canon if I don't want to."

And also maybe it's "if we accept this event/depiction as canon it doesn't mean that we have to either bash the character completely or erase his mental illness into something vaguer/mystical that would somehow absolve him of his place in this situation".

And maybe it's "what does accountability for your harmful actions looks like when your judgement was heavily impaired by mental illness, and what judgement can be placed upon you and who decides where people are placed on that continuum of responsibility and how do we acknowledge and go forward into repairing things when severe harm/abuse was done under impaired judgement and also how do you reconcile all of this with your sense of self, (especially in conditions like bpd/cptsd and especially did where the sense of self is already so altered/complicated) with what your values are, what you want to be, what you are capable of doing and what you thought about yourself before the bad thing happened." I don't know any simple, correct, good answer, especially not a one size fits all. All I know is: the desire to be a good person, and be able to distinctively separate people between bad and good, is profoundly human and, at times when lines of responsibility get blurry, profoundly unhelpful. Most people who are going to hurt you aren't mentally ill. Most people who do terrible things aren't mentally ill, and sometimes people are mentally ill and hurt people and the two have nothing to do with eachother. But it is also a reality that sometimes judgement is impaired and behaviour is altered due to mental illness, and then you need to figure out where to go from there. Acknowledging this while also fighting stigmatisation is a complicated business. It's messy. Mental illness often is. I'm weary of any rethoric that pretends it's simple.

[syntheticavenger]

Let Him Loose (Preview)

As promised, here is a preview of what I am working on. A slow build to be sure but it's been a while since I posted something and I'm still working on closing up some fics but life has been extremely busy!

I'll also be responding to those in my inbox - I didn't forget you, I promise!

Dennis Baker x Female Reader

Word Count: 925

Warnings: None for now, just some world building.

-

He keeps his eyes on the road, lifting a shaky hand to bring the insulated mug to his lips, swallowing down a sip as an 80’s synth pop song plays faintly in the background. Dennis has always been a nervous sort but today he’s much worse for wear, talkative at first about his new promotion until the city became a distant past, the highway stretching longer than before, his silence almost unnerving. His fingers grip the steering wheel tight, a cheerful commercial breaking through as you strain to listen to it.

“Come on down to Delilah’s Discount Deals! Where there’s something for everyone,” the upbeat spokesperson invites before the music starts again.

Enough is enough.

Your boyfriend’s jaw is clenched so tight that you wonder if he’ll break a tooth, placing your hand on his over the gear shift as he looks down under his clear framed glasses.

“Hey,” you begin, seeing him smile for a scant second. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” he answers, his eyes going back on the road. “Why?”

“Because you’ve barely said two words since we left?”

“Sorry. Just got a lot on my mind.”

His phone alerts with another incoming text message and then another before he exhales loudly.

“She won’t let up,” Dennis says forlornly. “I’m driving as fast as I can. Why they need me there before tomorrow is ridiculous, it’s not like we’re part of their plan.”

He accelerates slightly, your fingers pressing into the plush leather armrest as he begins to slow.

It’s not a secret that he doesn’t want to see his family for the holidays. He’s been putting it off for months – years even – but a promotion, even one that he had excitedly told his parents, had been a cause for a celebration that ended up becoming mandatory, by his family offering to host you both for the holiday, not taking no for an answer.

There’s not much you know about his family. Ever since you started dating, he’s been careful to navigate how he speaks about them to you. It wasn’t the best upbringing, that much you know as he’s shared that much. He grew up poor, bullied for his glasses and calm demeanor, ostracized for leaving the small town he grew up in for a scholarship for college and never looking back, let alone to visit. His parents, Dennis had told you, were proud people – proud of who they were and where they came from.

It was obvious that Dennis didn’t agree and knowing how stressed he was, it didn’t make sense for you to push the issue, not when you knew that topic is one he still tries to avoid.

“We don’t have to go,” you speak up, Dennis shaking his head slowly, eyes still on the road.

“That won’t go over well. Just better to get it over with.”

“Dennis,” you admonish, seeing him reach for his coffee again. “They’re your parents.”

“I know. They’re gonna love you, you know.”

As much of a comfort as that gives you, it’s the sadness in his voice that almost feels envious. Still, you don’t press, quietly looking at the window as the trees whizz past.

“You don’t seem excited.”

“I’m not,” he answers matter-of-factly, picking up his phone to glance at the text message before he places it back down, a look of dread appearing on his features.

“What is it?”

“My brother will be there.”

“Oh?” you ask, watching him take another gulp of coffee. “You haven’t seen him in a while, right? Sounds like a family reunion.”

“I wouldn’t call it that but sure.”

“What’s your brother like?” you ask, trying to get him to open up. Whatever the text message was, it didn’t please Dennis in the slightest, seeing him turn the phone face down in the cup holder.

“The favorite.”

“The favorite?” you repeat, Dennis still looking straight ahead, his fingers flexing slightly.

“Yeah.”

That’s all the response you will get, you realize, Dennis giving a short shrug. You know nothing about his brother, only that he has one, something muttered when you were first starting to date but the subject was dropped quickly.

“He’ll like you,” he says, almost bitterly. “You’ll like him too.”

“How do you know?”

You sound accusatory but you don’t mean it. Dennis seems so resolved that he’ll be cast aside that you find yourself getting defensive, as if he doesn’t believe you won’t be on his side.

“Because he’s the rugged type. I’ve seen the books you read,” Dennis chides with a slight smile that is gone before you can appreciate it. “He’s like that.”

“Books are books, they aren’t you,” you remind him, flashing him a smile. “Those books don’t have your self-deprecating jokes, your thoughtfulness and care. You know that.”

He smiles finally – a real smile with a flash of pearly white teeth – before he settles back into his seat.

“Just promise one thing,” Dennis says after a short pause, slowing to look at you for a moment. “Stay inside when it starts to get dark when we get there. Probably a silly superstition but it’s important. Promise?”

You want to make a joke but you know better, especially with how serious Dennis has become again. You’ll ask your questions later, when he’s not so agitated.

“I promise,” you recite.

“Good,” he says with a sigh of relief. “My family loves their traditions, Ari even more so. Let’s just ease you in slow so you don’t get overwhelmed.”

“Who is Ari?” you ask.

“My older brother.”

[factual-fantasy]

28 asks, thank you!

@dogtor-of-the-hole

Oh I absolutely hate it through and through. You cannot convince me that the movie is being made by people who love/appreciate/understand Minecraft in any capacity. Jack Black being cast as Steve is the worst part by far. I will absolutely not not be watching it.

(Link in ask)

That music was really nice actually.. I clicked on their most recent video and listened to it while trying to take down art theft and making this post. It was spooky yet very calming.

I've always wanted to make short pixelated game that just tells a cool story with some kind of haunting twist. But I'm really bad with tech so never dared to try and code something like that.

I originally shelved my FNAF AU because my health was/is still in shambles and I couldn't handle trying to keep up with such q big project. But now I'm not wanting to go back to it due to the constant art theft I've getting recently.

Thank you for the concern.. I'm doing my best to have thick skin about it and just focus on reporting it all.

They still exist for sure. But my persistent illness along with the mountains of art theft is keeping all my FNAF stuff on the shelf.

@aishutoon

Happy Thanksgiving! :DD

I like the first one a lot and can watch it any day. Second one is about the same. But any movie after that I either don't like or it makes me too sad to watch.

Also, I cant remember making any artwork about it, no..

@howeaboutsomeketchul

Hello!

The only way all this can get worse if if they turn the thefts into a meme. Absolutely disgusting. I will not be returning to this fandom.

@rockyztownesys

Thank you,, I'm on a quest to try and get all the stolen art I can find taken down. In the meantime I've been trying to draw for myself but the truth is I'm really unmotivated atm. Hoping I feel better soon.

Thank you! :) I'm hoping I recover from all this too..

@paper-starz

Thank you,, I'm doing my best to draw for myself. But the truth is I'm just very unmotivated to draw without the nice feedback from my followers.😔I'm sure I'll find a way around it though. Maybe a longer break is what I need..

@misscherrypie

I'm sad they're out of season now 😔

(Link in post)

oooo I like the designs! :D

@mimiocto

Hello! :)

@neo-metalscottic (Digital circus post in question)

Thank you! I'm glad you like him. And funny you should mention the Lego batman movie Joker, I think his coattails subconsciously inspired me!

As for Roblox, I've been playing Creatures of Sonaria. Its a neat Gacha game where you get to run around as all these whacky creatures. So far my top 3 favorites are the Momola, Shararook and Jhiggo Jangl. Though I don't really play as Shararook because it moves so slowly and cant jump, climb or swim :(

And lastly, I really like that portrayal of Mario and Luigi! I imagine since Mario seems to be tough and a real go getter, he doesn't typically think situations all the way through and plan things out. He just jumps right in and sees what happens!.. Which don't usually turn out well <XD Giving him the appearance of the "dumber" brother as a result-

Meanwhile Luigi is more anxious and on the cautious side and is always thinking everything through before he does it. This makes me think he'd come out as the "smarter" brother who does a lot more thinking than doing. When in reality they're both pretty smart!

@glitchhayden418

Positive potato save me.. save me positive potato..

Yeah, I left a comment explaining that I wasn't ok with people using my designs. They apologized saying that they didn't know and immediately made their own design and hasn't used mine since. Nice fellow honestly, though I wish they had just checked first.

I'll have to look into that, thank you!

Thank you.. I've been trying to take a break and draw for myself. But I find myself unmotivated to draw while also missing drawing. Is that what burnout looks like.? I don't know..

For now I'm kind of lurking. I'm going to go try and get a lot of my stuff taken down. Hopefully it works and that gives me the confidence to come back and post some more. I love the interactions I get and wanna keep sharing my drawings. I just gotta take some time to try and feel better I suppose..

@lizardlover-skylarglamrock

Thank you,, I'm trying not to let it demotivate me. But its sure been happening a lot more than usual..

@wolfie-777

That's a neat idea! :000

@anonymous-red-shades

The CookieRun: Kingdom spooky muffin..

(link in ask)

Not particularly interested if I'm being honest.. the only character I like so far is Golden Osmanthus Cookie. Don't get me wrong I like the designs and themes of this update, but the cookies personalities are kind'a annoying to me so far 😔

Hmm.. what's something about him I haven't shared...

I don't think I've shared this- in my welcome home AU there are silly and colorful versions of normal foods. Like silly blue spaghetti or purple pizza! Stuff you might find in a show like that.

Now the thing is, Eddie wont touch any of these foods. He'll only eat foods that look normal to our standards. And he doesn't really know why he's picky about this.. he just is..

(Its because he was a human before becoming a puppet)

@captain-skyley

Aww, What a cutie! :D

[shadebloopnik]

Calling for help from any kind fandom citizen, I have a survey of which I am in dire need of responses for school.

So if you could answer this short survey below, it only takes like, 2-3 minutes minimum, thank you so muchhhh ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Audience's Perception on AI-Generated Works

I'll be accepting free fic commissions for responses

Reblogs are appreciated(on my knees for em)

Some tea abt why I made this survey, the very polite beef i have with my instructor, and details on the fic comms underneath

Ok, so like, long story short, our professor assigned us to make a short survey about anything related to technology and stuff like that. I figured i'd make something related to AI art, bc yknow, at least I'd be somewhat interested in the topic.

And btw, I like to say our prof is a nice guy, reeeally, but he's also, VERY pro AI, for anything. I've gotten into soft debates on that whenever there's presentations in class, and he keeps dismissing me. "Its progress" he says, and doesn't really listen whenever I talk further about it. SO, in addition to this being for my grade(smthn important, im sure), i'm also doing this to nicely shove the opinions of the crowd into his face.

So if some of the questions sound passive aggressive, please dont mind it, as he is going to be part of the editor, and I want him to see it.

also Twitter is the only thing im deadnaming, so if thats a gamechanger for you, I apologize in advance

ALSO, my extremely kind and benevolent instructor whom I just TRULY adore with all my heart (no im not gritting my teeth), have decided that it should have a minimum of 150 respondents to even be counted, a funny condition when he gave us like, barely 2 weeks but ok.

I've sent this out to people in my school and general friends more than a week ago, but I'm still lacking at LEAST 90 responses. (They suggested it was my topic that was the issue. BORING they said I just-) I only have a day or so to get more people.

SOOOO to sweeten the pot and as a form of apology.

Everyone who answers this survey can write down in their reblogs or replies a ship/prompt they'd want me to make a fic. 3 with the most popular votes gets written. Just write down the name/alias you've written in the survey with ur replies.

Minimum 2k words for each fic. It shall be posted by the end of December or early January on ao3

YES even nsfw ones, but you'll have to clarify it if it wins(im gonna be shocked if its something i truly cannot write about tbh)

I figured this is a fun way to force myself back into the writing scheme tbh. I have written some concepts before, like the AU's I had pinned, and some drabbles, but so far none that really stuck so meep

I would prefer its a fandom or ship im currently fixated on/know about, like Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Owl House, Orv, Epic, etc.

[cakepoppresent]

Have More Faith

Benji is such a soft-hearted loser with Malcolm. That's why Malcolm is so spoiled, rivals Veroincas level of spoiled and entitlement lol

End of main story updates! Next week I'd be posting random gameplay pics of other sims I've been meaning to play!

Transcript under the cut~

Benji: Malcolm...Your face what happened?

Veronica: Benji...he got into a fight with some loser

Benji: He did what?

Veronica: I feel a little bad. I was hounding on him hard about Luna then these losers started saying some horrible things about Luna and he just snapped

Benji: What about the other dude?

Veronica: He’s pretty fucked up. I was able to get Malcolm outta there in time but you never know if that person will try to press charges

Benji: What did you tell him exactly

Veroinca: I just told him he wasn’t being fair to Luna and you know that too.

Benji: I know I know but...

Veronica: There are no buts Benji. This isn’t fair to Luna or you, you can’t keep walking around egg shells because you’re scared he’s gonna explode. Luna is hurting too

Benji: Don’t worry about it. I'll deal with him tonight

Veroinca: I hope so becasue I told him he has until the end of the week to reach out to Luna or else I’d call Gideon to beat his ass

Benji: Jesus V. Gideon? Thats cold

Veronica: Whatever! Just make sure he reaches out to Luna or Gideon will beat your ass too!

Benji: V left...

Malcolm:...

Benji: You wanna tell me what happened?

Malcolm:...

Benji: You can’t keep quiet about this forever. We have to talk eventually

Malcolm: Fine.

Benji: Do you want me to be honest?

Malcolm: Might as well. Veroinca already ripped me a new one

Benji: I say this with all the love in my heart but you are being too hard on Luna

Malcolm: I know...

Benji: She loves you a lot you know that yes?

Malcolm: I know

Benji: You don’t have even speak with Andre. What’s most important is being there for Luna. If he ends up being a bitch Luna will know she has you to lean on. If he isn’t then at least you can learn the truth

Malcolm: I’m just scared.

Benji: You have to have more faith in Luna, at the end of the day the real enemy is your Dad. He hasn’t reached out once since Andre was exposed, and never calls or checks up on you guys.

Malcolm: That’s cuz he’s a bitch

Benji: More of a reason to go easy on Luna. Its you guys vs the world

Malcolm: You’re a part of us too you know that right?

Benji: Oh? Am I?

Malcolm: Of course! You’ve always been a part of Luna and I. Always!

Benji: Then listen to me when I say you need to reach out to Luna okay? I can be there if you want but please don’t ice her out anymore okay?

Malcolm: Fine...

[selfshipyellowpages]

Yellow Pages (Batch One) Is Up!

Check out the first 20 blogs on The Selfship Yellow Pages, and thank you to everyone who has reblogged! I'm going to be working on the next set of twenty and I'll post again when it's updated. Interact with this post or this one to be included in a future update!

Please let me know if there's any typos, missing links, or if you'd prefer certain F/Os to be listed or unlisted! I'm cutting off individual fandoms at 10 F/Os just for readability, and I've decided to list all F/Os (romantic, familial, platonic, etc) because different selfshippers might focus on different types of relationship, and they all deserve representation and community!

Reminders:

-I am only listing fandoms that have 2+ people who selfship in them, to keep the project from getting absolutely unmanageable in links. -the yellow pages are designed to be accessible on mobile but tumblr can be wonky about links on mobile, so I do suggest desktop if possible! -please make sure you are reading and respecting other people's DNIs when browsing the yellow pages! -be aware that I am listing blogs and their F/Os, so if you don't want to see doubles for a particular character/fandom, don't click on that fandom! -please do not be rude to people about their F/Os, whether that's because of doubles, fandom source, or anything else. If you'd like to block someone for these reasons, that is a-ok, but do not send any rude messages, or I will find you and block you from this community project. -if you would like anything changed or removed, just let me know via asks or DMs!

The Yellow Pages currently features: 20 blogs, 33 fandoms, and I have 163 additional fandoms on stand-by waiting for a second person to share them. Current most popular selfship fandoms: Marvel, DC, and Pokemon (4 blogs in each).

This batch includes: @fruitypie-daydreams @satellite-of-self-love @sixsixships @cafecouple @multiversal-selfshipper @cruising-thru-the-starz @mephy-doodle-dandy @self-shippy @astral-express-family @silver-heller @moonlitforestt @allpointyears @karume-selfshipper @mimy2004 @fatiguedshipper @starry-ships @dolliepiilled @thepenguinandthefiend @woofs-silly-ships

[midnight-mourning]

❄️MIDNIGHT'S DCA DECEMBER❄️

Hello! I've decided to have a little bit of fun this December and will be opening up requests for the month! Please see below for more details (With subheadings!):

Requests Overall

I will have 31 slots available for requests, first come, first serve. Each piece will range from 1000-2000 words in length and may (MAY) include a little doodle made by me.

Requests can be anything! They just have to be winter/holdiay themed (do NOT have to be releated to Christmas) and DCA-related

Winter/holiday themed means movies/stories too! Ex: i am a BIG fan of The Nutcracker (went insane when I saw @/robinette-green's au for the Barbie version lmao)

As most know I am an X reader writer, but as long as my general request rules are followed, I don't mind writing for ocs, canon, etc. 

For those who don't know my rules, no nsfw (suggestive is FINE), and if you want something specific, be specific. Besides that, it's fair game, request what you want

Potential Issues & Schedule

If there is overlap between request ideas, they will be combined in some manner of speaking (if possible). If needed, I will reach out to you about adjusting ideas or the likes, though I don't forsee this happening. This would occur if for example, someone wants gift shopping with Sun with their oc, and someone else wants the same thing with a reader-insert. Whoever requested second would be who I reach out to. 

I will be posting these throughout December, ending on the 31st

In order to have enough time to write, I will be starting these as soon as I get the first request. To speed things up a little, requests will be open from 11/29 to 12/13 OR until I receive 31 unique requests. So that's maximum two weeks to think of an idea and share it with me. 

If I don't get enough overall or get anything prior to Dec. 1 I'll probably come up with some ideas of my own, but only if that happens! Additionally, if I don't get enough, I may open it up for people to request multiple times, again only if I don't get enough or run out of ideas (genuinely don't know how many I should expect so just trying to cover my bases lol)

To keep things organized, please request in the comments of this post. This also helps to potentially keep from overlap in requests, as you'll be able to see what else has already been requested. If you request in my ask box or such it'll make things a bit more difficult, so please avoid that.

HOWEVER, there is one exception to the above, which is if you wish to request anonymously, which is completely fine to do! But please only request in my ask box if you want to be anonymous. If overlap happens in that case, then y'all may just get two responses with similar vibes on the same day (essentially a bonus lol)

Confused Spirit

For those who may be concerned (as I was before making this post lmao) Confused Spirit's schedule will not be affected by this! Now that it's back I'd like it to stay back lol. We may stick to an every two weeks schedule for a bit, or may go back to weekly, it will depend on life stuff, not on other writing things. I promise ^_^

Having little things like these also help prevent writers block, and thus stay more consistent with updates

Sharing & More

Please feel free to share this post around, and request if you want to! Once I hit 31 unique ones I'll reblog this post with the announcement that requests are closed, so make sure to double check they aren't closed already prior to requesting!

I'll also post updates every couple of days regarding the status of total requests as well ^_^

Unrelated but similar, @/quilteddreams is working on a DCA Advent Calendar for December that's also really cool! (I'm helping out with beta reading :D) Highly reccommend you check it out once it starts posting! 

Everything related to this will be under the tag #MM dca December, just in case there's another similar tag out there and I'm not just taking it for myself

Alright, that's all for now, excited to see what you guys ask for!

Adding the tag list to this since y'all enjoy my writing lol:

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8

@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @amarynthian-chronicles

@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva

@juukai

[yanderes-galore]

Ooh since request are open can I please request yandere Hibana please from fire force who’s fallen for reader ( female or gn is fine with me ) hcs please and thank u 💗

I swear they made her entire character being a Tsundere which is a bit upsetting but... I'll try my best.

Yandere! Hibana Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Jealousy, Possessive/Protective behavior, Stalking, Violence, Threats, Sadism, Clingy behavior, Delusional behavior, Touchy behavior, Forced relationship.

I personally wish more was done for Hibana's character.

Upon her debut she was deceptive and sadistic, often showing arrogance towards those around her.

She even called herself a 'Princess'.

She's described as a cynic, often domineering and controlling towards those she deems under her.

She tends to focus on revenge as a goal and over time is shown to be protective of those she cares about.

Shinra helps Hibana become a better person, which makes her more friendly.

She tends to cover up the nice things she does and when it comes to romantic attraction... can be rather lewd?

Most of her character was dedicated to fawning over Shinra from what I've read.

So safe to say... being a yandere might not change much.

She's naturally worse before she meets Shinra... but I'd also say she's a handful afterwards too.

Before Shinra she's sadistic, deceptive, and more than willing to use her power to immobilize her obsession.

Afterwards she's mostly just persistent and clingy, often hating to leave your side.

She isn't the strongest pyrokinetic out there... yet she's got strength.

She often uses her beauty to charm others and may even be frustrated when it doesn't work on you.

You may not even want anything to do with her due to her personality and behavior.

She can be cruel.

Sometimes she even takes joy in the violence she inflicts.

Her most dangerous trait is her violence and persistence.

Hibana is entitled at times, often not giving up until she gets what she wants.

If we look at her debut personality, Hibana has no issues when it comes to kidnapping or even murder.

In fact, she'd love the control she has over her obsession.

To her, it's less about romance, and more about the fact she has you all to herself in her debut personality.

She loves to force you to your knees, completely powerless against her.

Would she harm you? Not with her flames.

She can be rough with you but doesn't intend to burn you.

She probably doesn't even need to use ropes or chains to keep you in place... but if she does, she'll keep you in her room.

She treats her obsession as a pet of sorts.

She praises you, smothers you in affection if you're good...

She doesn't hesitate to incinerate the gravel that dares to touch you.

You belong to only her.

You're worthy to only her.

She makes sure to prove that by burning those too close.

She's insistent with her kisses and praise, telling you that as long as you pay attention to her...

You'll be a good pet.

Her behavior calms down later on post Shinra battle.

Yet she's now clingy and lacks boundaries.

There's times her previous sadism will show up, but for the most part she tries to behave.

In the public eye, that is.

When she isn't being a violent domineering captain... she's still smothering.

She gives gifts, she hangs around you as you work...

Others tell her to leave, she never does.

She may even be one to stalk her obsession, always wanting to keep tabs on them.

Does she have work to do? Yes.

But you're so much more entertaining.

I can also see Hibana threatening those she feels are too close to you.

She's an infamous captain and many know what she's capable of.

Just because she's playing nice for you doesn't mean she's completely changed.

She only really cares about you, Shinra, and Iris.

Anyone else she doesn't mind threatening to burn.

She may try to play it off as subtle...

But knowing her, she probably means all of her threats.

She's intimidating to everyone around her.

Even her obsession at times due to how insistent she is.

She may even be delusional, choosing to nor view what she does as wrong.

Keeping you as a pet? Well it should be an honor.

She's pretty and cares for you!

Stop fighting her feelings!

Hibana's affection can also get rather... touchy.

She likes you in her lap and often holds you around the waist.

She tends to flirt with you in an attempt to make you fall for her....

Yet... of course... you only seem scared.

You're always going to be scared of her.

Hibana at first saw herself as a demon... It was how she had to survive in this world.

Even when she tries to change, she'll always be seen as a demon by you.

After all, she's willing to kidnap and kill for her love...

What's more demonic than that?

[kouudi]

ᡣ𐭩 every path leads back to you — isagi yoichi

warnings: reader has an ex fiancé (not isagi), reader has commitment issues, description heavy, mentions of drinking, kind of proof read but not really, reader feels very guilty

a/n: i'm sorry this took so long ;-; life has been crazy and my job's been requiring me to come in more. turns out i work on christmas eve and day so that's fun i guess? happy late thanksgiving i'm thankful for all of you + my moots :D not sure when i'll be able to post again but i'll try to keep y'all updated and not disappear. also yes this was teased as a reo fic but ignore that...

The air in your apartment smelled like stale beer. The low hum of the refrigerator filled the silence in the background, only broken by the occasional wail of a distant siren outside. You’re perched at the edge of the couch, staring at the scattered beer cans on the floor as if they hold the answer to a question the universe is too afraid to ask.

You’re not even sure how the night started. Bachira called you, telling you that the team was home for a break. You rejected his invitation to go out for drinks, preferring instead to settle in at home with your own packs of beer.

Maybe Isagi called you, or maybe you texted him first—something vague after a few drinks, an invitation he somehow read between the lines. Now, hours later, he’s sitting in front of your couch, back against the edge, a comfortable distance away from you.

You think it should feel strange, having him here like this, so casually. Isagi Yoichi, with his perfect life and effortless charm, is a far cry from the mess you’ve become over the years of your friendship with him. Despite the differences, you feel a strange sense of comfort in his presence, as if for tonight, your loneliness isn’t yours to bear alone.

He’s quiet now, watching you with an expression that’s hard for you to read, his sharp eyes flickering all over your apartment as if they can’t settle on one thing for long. You take a swig from your beer, the bitterness burning your throat, and glance at him. You feel exposed, as if he’s peeling back the layers of whatever shield you’ve managed to build.

It’s that specific look that pulls the words from your tongue before you even realize it.

“Did you know I was supposed to get married last year?” The bitterness and disbelief are laced in your voice.

Isagi arches a brow at your sudden confession, his expression unreadable. The clutter of empty beer cans scattered around the floor brings up the thought of why he chose to end the night at your place, instead of suggesting his own for a late-night drinking session.

His gaze lingers on you, sharp and searching. “No, I didn’t. You’ve never mentioned it,” he says finally, his tone careful and neutral. You wonder if he’s doing it on purpose. “Are you joking?” he asks, his voice calm and even, his expression still unreadable. You force out a dry laugh.

“Yeah, well. There’s a lot I don’t mention,” you snort, lifting the beer can to your mouth. The bitterness in your tone stings your own ears. That wasn’t something you meant to blurt out. The weight of your guilt feels heavier than usual tonight, with Isagi here. His presence brings forth that strange sense of comfort, though it’s almost aggravating to you.

“Why bring it up now?” he asks, leaning back against the couch, still keeping his eyes focused on you. His voice is calm, but there’s a flicker of something beneath the surface—curiosity, or maybe even concern.

You shrug and stare down at the flat liquid in your can. “It’s been on my mind,” you mutter, though it’s only half the truth. It’s not just the memory of what could’ve been. It’s him—sitting here, looking too calm, too collected, as if your mess is just another puzzle for him to figure out.

You take another sip of your beer, the bitter taste doing little to ground you. Isagi’s gaze doesn’t waver, and you can feel the unspoken questions hanging in the air between you. Still, he doesn’t push, but his presence alone is almost like a small nudge, daring you to open up, to say more, to peel back a layer of your life that you’ve hidden from him for so long.

For a moment, you consider brushing it off with a dumb joke or changing the subject completely. But the quiet intensity in his eyes makes it impossible. Instead, you let the silence stretch, the weight of it pressing down until the emotions start to seep in—uninvited and vivid.

The memory floods back to you—the rush of slipping out the back of the reception hall, still in your wedding dress, makeup half-done and beginning to smudge. You remember the moment of freedom amidst the chaos, but the weight of the man you left behind quickly pulls you back.

“I left him at the altar,” you quietly confess, the words heavy on your tongue. The thought of your fiancé waiting for you at the end of the aisle, surrounded by friends and family, lingers in your mind like a shadow.

You never thought you’d be the type of person to run from their own wedding. You and your ex-fiancé had spent the year preparing to make that day meticulously perfect—the music, flowers, decorations, and even the vows that you spent countless sleepless nights perfecting. From everyone else’s perspective, the day was out of a fairytale. But to you, you didn’t belong in that story.

Your ex-fiancé was everything people thought you should want: a kind and successful man. You admit that it was everything you did want at the time. He was a respectable man. But, over time, the relationship became a suffocating routine, rather than one built on genuine love.

Every day that passed, and the wedding date drew closer, you felt more trapped. “It’s just cold feet,” you’d tell yourself over and over again. “Everyone feels this way before committing to forever.”

You remember the morning of your wedding, staring at your own reflection in the mirror, veil perched upon your head, feeling like an imposter. You remember the feeling inside you suddenly snap. You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t marry this man. You couldn’t spend the rest of your life pretending to be someone you weren’t.

You can’t fake a thought—that was something you realized the day you met the man sitting beside you. In the last few months of your previous relationship, you started to notice things. It took you longer than usual to answer your phone, you never genuinely smiled anymore, and you only did activities that he suggested because you’d convinced yourself you didn’t know what you wanted to do. No matter how much you pretended not to notice the change in yourself, you did. You noticed it all.

It wasn’t until you and Isagi began crossing the lines between friendship and something deeper a few months ago that you realized what you had been missing. Isagi had a way of filling the empty spaces in your life—spaces you hadn’t even known existed. His presence was effortless yet inescapably consuming. And yet, as much as you knew you should surrender, a small voice kept reminding you of everything you had left behind: the stability, the comfort, the certainty. Isagi was none of those things, and perhaps that’s what drew you to him the most.

He was a force of nature, always moving, always shifting, while you were stuck in place, bound to the limit of the city you were in, caught between the pull of your past and the push toward something unfamiliar. You did try to fight it at first—tried to keep a distance, to protect whatever small sense of self that you still desperately clung to. But every time he smiled, every time he spoke, it was as if your world had narrowed to only show him. And that was terrifying.

You were stuck between staying with what you knew about yourself at age twenty-four or venturing out into the world. You didn’t want to stay stagnant, frozen in a life you felt was no longer yours. But with Isagi, there was no promise of tomorrow. There was no guarantee that things would stay the same. And maybe that was the most frightening thing. You could fall, and he wouldn’t catch you. Or maybe he would, but only for a little while.

A hand on your shoulder pulled you from your thoughts. Isagi’s expression had shifted, his usual calm replaced by something softer, tinged with sadness. His eyes met yours, but there was a distant heaviness in them, as if he were carrying a weight you couldn’t see. You weren’t sure when he got up to sit beside you.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The silence stretched between you, thick and uncomfortable. You could feel the shift in the air, like something unspoken had settled there, pressing down on the two of you.

Isagi opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but he hesitated. His brow furrowed slightly, and he seemed to be grappling with his words, as though he knew what he wanted to say wasn’t going to come out right. When he spoke, his voice was quieter than before, softer than his usual tone of confidence.

“I knew you were getting married. Bachira told me,” he confessed, his eyes flickering down for a moment before meeting yours again. “I didn’t want to make things... harder for you, so I pretended not to know.”

There it was—the guilt in his voice. You’d expected it, but hearing it now hit you harder than you thought it would. Isagi, who always seemed so composed, so untouchable, was suddenly vulnerable in a way you weren’t sure how to handle.

“I knew you would’ve told me if you wanted me to know.”

You swallowed, unsure of what to say, the weight of his words settling in. You weren’t prepared for this—this side of him. But before you could second-guess yourself, the words came out anyway. “I didn’t want you to know,” you said, your voice quieter now. His eyes softened, and you could see the faint shadow of regret in them. “You were always so busy, always out of the country… I just wanted to move on.” You paused, feeling the heaviness of it all. “We’ve been in this strange place for months now, but honestly, I’ve been here even longer.”

Isagi’s gaze intensified, a flicker of concern crossing his face. “What are you trying to say?”

You turned your head away, suddenly embarrassed to meet his eyes. “Isagi,” you whispered, the confession slipping out before you could stop it, “I’ve liked you for a long time now.”

The silence that followed was thick and suffocating, the kind that made you want to sink into the couch and disappear. You felt exposed, as though everything that protected you had been stripped away. But Isagi didn’t say anything, not at first. His eyes never left yours, and his silence—rather than pushing you away—seemed to be drawing you in further.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he exhaled slowly, his breath shaky. “I don’t know what to say to that,” he admitted, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it. “You’ve always been so distant. I didn’t think I stood a chance.”

The words hit you in your gut. Isagi, a man who always seemed composed and confident, had been uncertain the entire time? The realization made you feel both relieved and guilty—you had been blind to everything for longer than you thought.

“I didn’t mean to push you away,” you said quietly, your throat tightening. “I thought that if I just kept going, kept pretending, it would get easier. But it never did.” You paused, your heart racing. “And now… I don’t know how to fix it.”

Isagi’s expression softened again, the sharp edges of his usual demeanor fading into something gentler. He leaned forward, his voice steady but full of something deeper. “You don’t have to fix it. You just have to tell me what you want. I’m right here. I’ve always been here, but you’ve got to let me in, too.”

His hand finds its way to your cheek, his thumb gently caressing your lips. “We can be a team, but only if you’re comfortable being one together.”

You lean into his touch, as if it were muscle memory. The warmth of his hand on your skin, his thumb pressing gently on your lips—everything about this moment feels like something you should’ve known before, something that was always there, just out of reach. For a split second, you let yourself believe that it’s real, that it’s something you deserve.

But then, as quickly as you let yourself forget, the weight of everything you’ve kept buried presses down on your heart again. The guilt. The confusion. The silence between you, stretched thin over the last few months as you both tread the line between friendship and something more. You pull back slightly, enough to break the contact between you, but not enough to distance yourself completely. You feel colder without the warmth of his hand on your face.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” you say, the words escaping before you can stop them. You feel the uncertainty creeping back in.

Isagi doesn’t pull away. He doesn’t let the space between you grow too wide. His eyes are softer now, though you can still see the same intensity in them. He studies your face for a moment, but it feels like he’s seeing past you, into the deeper parts of you, weighing your words carefully. Then, in a voice as low as a whisper:

“No rush. We take things slow, one step at a time.”

The way he says it—the calm certainty—makes your heart race. It’s as if he’s offering a lifeline out of the mess you’ve made of your life. And for the first time in a long time, you start to believe that maybe, just maybe, things could be different.

You meet his gaze, your breath catching in your chest. “Are you sure?” you ask, the vulnerability in your voice tightening your throat.

Isagi doesn’t hesitate. “I’m sure.”

And for the first time, you believe him.

written by koudi

tags: @sarahforever