#not sure if grouping Canada with the US is the right move if i don't also include every other English-speaking nation

[joannerowling]

Ok, here's one question i've been wanting to figure out tumblr's views on

[pandorasword]

Chaeri as the 8th and youngest member of BTS.

Chaeri's Masterlist

❒ Requested ✓

「 A compilation of Chaeri and Jungkook caught on camera 」

Video posted on YouTube by chaekooknation

Hello everyone, this is chaekooknation speaking! I'm back with a compilation of videos and super-zoomed images of how Chaeri and Jungkook act when they think they're not in front of the cameras I'd like to remind everyone that this is a video purely for the enjoyment of fans who, like me, believe there's something more than friendship between the two of them ♡

clip one ⸻ 🎬

⠪ September 2018; Canada ⠪ At that time the members were on tour for the 'Love yourself world tour' ⠪ After the last Canadian stage in Hamilton we know that they stayed a couple of days there before leaving for New Jersey ⠪ We know this in particular because of a dinner they had one of those evenings ⠪ We all remember videos and photos posted by the staff of one of the most exclusive restaurants there ⠪ These include a video of Chaeri and Jungkook that is a bit suspicious, don't you think? ⠪ When she noticed that someone from the restaurant staff was filming her having her hand on Jk's face she made a shocked expression ⠪ Sis, why be surprised? You live constantly on camera ⠪ Unless you were about to do something that others should not know about ⠪ Anyway, she became smooth again after a second and moved her hand to the back of his neck ⠪ SUS

clip two ⸻ 🎬

⠪ 22.04.2017; After a vlive ⠪ For this picture we have to credit our Jin hyung who posted them on weverse without them knowing ⠪ I quote the description "Armys our maknae stayed with you as long as she could. Can we all agree to scold Jungkook for not letting her sleep in peace? Turn off the lights!" ⠪ Chaeri and Jungkook had spent almost an hour chatting with us armys ⠪ "I am in Jungkookie's(hotel) room now, when we say goodnight to you I will go back to mine." ⠪ SHE NEVER DID!!!! ⠪ Isn't it adorable the way he keeps his arm around her body?

clip three ⸻ 🎬

⠪ 2019; SBS Gayo Daejeon Music Festival ⠪ Photo taken by a group of fans from afar ⠪ Seems to be right after the show ended, probably they were waiting to leave ⠪ Fixing his coat is such an intimate and loving gesture ⠪ I wouldn't do it with just a friend. Would you do that? ⠪ Chaeri is always so caring, when it comes to him a little bit more ⠪ It was so cold that year, I'm sure she didn't want him to freeze ⠪ The way he looks at her!!!

clip four ⸻ 🎬

⠪ [BANGTAN BOMB] Meeting with Megan Thee Stallion pt2 | A night out

⠪ It was decided at the last minute there would be two Bangtan Bombs with the rapper: The first to meet her and the last to spend an evening together ⠪ Megan is amazing and beautiful, meeting her was a pleasure for all members, it's obvious ⠪ Chaeri might have been annoyed just for a moment perhaps ⠪ That way she tries to hold on to his coat and then retreat realizing she is being filmed makes me think (and laugh) ⠪ I don't think she felt threatened by Megan's beauty ⠪ Perhaps she was simply bored with all the attention she was giving Jungkook ⠪ Jealous Chaeri >>>>

clip five ⸻ 🎬

⠪ 2016; ISAC ⠪ We had to zoom in a lot to get a good look at them ⠪ We remember the impact Chaeri had on the show, fighting to make the competitions mixed and no longer only for men or only for women ⠪ The camera was focusing on the other members, Chaeri and Jungkook could only be seen by those paying close attention ⠪ The way she hit the bull's eye of the target every time during the competition must have made Jungkook very proud ⠪ But do you see the way he looks at her at the end? ⠪ Google search: How to find someone who looks at you the way Jungkook looks at Chaeri

clip six ⸻ 🎬

⠪ 2018; Mama in Hongkong (Backstage) ⠪ I loved how nonchalantly Chaeri spent the time before the performance eating rather than rehearsing ⠪ We know how much Chaeri hates to be bothered while she's eating, but this seems like an appreciated interference ⠪ Very low photo quality but we had to zoom in a lot too to make it clear who it was ⠪ The glasses Jungkook is wearing are seen back on her at the end of the video, during the goodbyes

clip seven ⸻ 🎬

⠪ 2016; Suwon ⠪ At that time their fame was still growing, there were not as many armys as today ⠪ BLESSED SOUL, THOUGH, THAT FOUND HERSELF IN THE SAME PLACE WHERE THE MEMBERS DECIDED TO GO ICE-SKATING ⠪ I tell you, it was hard to find this video ⠪ They are totally in a world of their own ⠪ Don't you think JK teaching Chaeri anything is the best Jk? He is always so careful with her ⠪ She clearly terrified ⠪ I bet he wanted to burst out in laughter ⠪ I wish there were more moments of that day to share together

clip eight ⸻ 🎬

⠪ BTS in the soop; Season one ⠪ Is it just me or does it seem like they were kissing at first!? ⠪ The guys' cameramen give us joy every time and I don't think they even know about it ⠪ They were filming some of the boys outside the house but if you look carefully in one of the windows you can see these two silhouettes ⠪ To me it's obvious it's the two of them ⠪ What song do you think they were dancing to? ⠪ PLEASE we need to know

clip nine ⸻ 🎬

⠪ 2021; After the episode '131' of RUN BTS

⠪ If someone asked me to show them a video about love I would show them this

⠪ The fact that Jimin accidentally caught them behind him during his vlive makes it even cuter

⠪ This is how they act when they think the cameras are off

⠪ Chaeri smile with her eyes when she's close to her Jungkook

⠪ Who would touch her hair like that if not someone deeply in love?

⠪ We have to thank our Chaekook fan n1 Jimin for the video and the producers of RUN BTS for throwing water on them for all that time

⠪ Looks to me like she's also wearing a men's shirt…did he give it to her?

Thank you all for watching my video! It seems quite evident that there is something more between the two, what are your opinions? Stay tuned for more Chaekook videos Bye!

[talisidekick]

u should post more about being trans

Sure. And I have a recent life story so here it goes:

If you've spent any amount of time scrolling down my blog, you know that from my 800+ posts I've dropped quite a bit about myself. Namely that my parents emotionally and physically abused me and manipulated me to act a very specific way to adhere to a "look" that agreed with my birth mothers families expectations. They wanted a daughter and got my sister first try, and only had me to teach her to share. Their treatment of me my entire life and how they admitted to it and talked about me let me know I was just a show-piece for their perfect cult christian/catholic/mormon nuclear family vibe.

As such, I can say that I have never once experienced what parental love actually feels like. What it's like to be loved unconditionally by a parent who cares. That wasn't my life.

At least ... that was true up until yesterday.

If you're unaware of what's been happening up in Canada in the last week (from 18th September 2023 to 22nd September 2023), the transphobes up here held a "1 Million March for Children" protest about public schools being gender inclusive, teaching topics on gender identity and gender expression, and allowing kids to give preferred names and pronouns that teachers abide by without parental involvement. If you're unfamiliar with Canada's laws, Canada has ratified the "rights of the child" set forth by the United Nations and children under the age of 18 up here have civil rights including the right to privacy and safety. These protests attempt to say a parent has the right to know everything going on with their kid, and there is some degree of agreement on that, but a child also has the right to privacy and safety. This group is pushing for policy changes in public schools that would require the schools take actions that can be argued would infringe on the rights of the 2SLGBTQIA+ children regarding their privacy and safety. As such, this transphobic group met opposition that vastly outnumbered their protest numbers in the form of counter protests involving students, teachers, parents, allies, and 2SLGBTQIA+ adults who passed through a less-than-accepting school system in their time.

I unfortunately missed the organized protest in my city yesterday. I was entirely unaware myself that any of this was happening. I'm now working on being more active and informed in my community because now that this bullshit is firmly on my doorstep, I'm not about to let it gain another inch by being oblivious.

When I came out, I was 27. I waited until I was on hormones just because I needed to be 1000% certain I was finally doing this before letting anyone in my workspace know. I was met immediately with transphobia from my team lead/manager. I was honestly stuck with what to do because it wasn't like she (my manager) was being overtly terrible, it was just a bunch of small things that were actively impeding my ability to do my job, and even move departments. It became more apparent as time went on that she was actively preventing me from reaching my normal level of production by throwing harder and harder work my way with much higher expectations than ever before. I reached out to another co-worker who was in a higher position than I at the time and she went to bat for me. She caught a lot of it first hand, agreed I was being treated unfairly, and got me in contact with HR. With her help, I was able to move to the IT department and begin using my software and computer architecture degree for something. She remarked that my parents must be proud I was finally in my chosen field of study and ... I had to let her know that my parents weren't in my life, and that they treated me terribly, and don't approve of me. She took that statement and without missing a beat she said: "well, guess that makes me your mom now", which I just took as a "if they won't love you for who you are and what you achieve, I will" symbolic gesture. She's called me her kid in casual conversation, and I have called her mom, but she has biological children around my age so it felt symbolic. I'm a 29 year old adult now, I was 27 at the time this started and I didn't think much of it because I kind of just accepted I was a person who'll never have parents who care. Like, I'm not a kid anymore, what's the point of having parents? That was my mentality.

Until yesterday. The day of the counter protest I didn't know was happening. My adopted mom showed up in force. Why? Take a look:

Some context for the following messages: when an iPhone user hearts a message, and android receiver gets the "Loved "<First 50 characters of the message reacted to> ..." message.

[Start ID: Screenshots of a text message conversation between @talisidekick and her mother who adopted her at 27. Conversation spans over Sunday and Monday. First photo reads: (8:12 PM Sunday) Mom: ... me about it. It was due to something that happened Wednesday. This was all put together in a matter of days. I have a trans child so I wanted to be there (7:00 AM Monday) Talisidekick: Just confirming, is the "trans child" me or is one of your other kids trans? (7:00 AM Monday) Talisidekick: 'Cause I still call you mom. (7:18 AM Monday) Mom: No it's you (8:10 AM Monday) Talisidekick: I uh ... don't know why the fact you showed up for me made me smile so wide... (8:10 AM Monday) Mom: Loved "I uh ... don't know why the fact you showed up for..." (8:10 AM Monday) Mom: Because you know I've got your back my luv

Second photo reads:

(8:11 AM Monday) Talisidekick: ... I really wish you were my mom when I was growing up. You're honestly the best. (8:12 AM Monday) Mom: Loved "... I really wish you were my mom when I was growi..." (8:12 AM Monday) Mom: I wish I was too! You would have been accepted for who you are the entire time (8:13 AM Monday) Mom: But you got me now! (8:13 AM Monday) Talisidekick: I do, and that matters loads. (8:13 AM Monday) Mom: Loved "I do, and that matters loads."

/end ID]

I'm in tears because she wasn't being symbolic. She sees me as her kid. She saw a problem, recognized that I'd lived through worse because we've talked how many times I was almost killed by my peers at school or left to die by teacher staff because where I grew up was conservative and we didn't have anything in the books supporting queer children in schools, and showed up to be part of the solution.

For reference from those who don't know: someone made a cruel remark that I was gay via a slur when I was in grade 3 and that was enough to mark me for abuse, and almost kill me for the entirety of grade school. There was more than one active attempt by members of the student body to kill me, at least one in front of a teacher who did nothing because of that damn rumour. And trying to kill me wasn't the worst thing they did. They didn't care I was actually transgender, in fact, them not knowing that probably saved me from them trying harder. I couldn't bring any of this to my parents because they were worse.

No child deserves to live any fraction of what I went through. It was horrible, and these assholes want to force kids to feel just as isolated as I did growing up. I barely survived and almost took my own life several times because of all this.

Mom, if you happen to read this, thank you for showing me I matter. I wish I'd met you sooner.

Trans rights are human rights. Transgender kids deserve safety too because every damn child matters.

[lesbianspeedy]

can I hear about the mia and ollie similarities whenever you have time...

theyre blonde :( thats it :( okay but ACTUALLY LETS GET INTO IT

They're loud assholes to people who need to be yelled at, but theyre actually hella introverted.

Mia "i think fast i talk fast" Dearden will mouth off at villains and batman, and take the piss out of people she loves. BUT she wasn't exactly shown to have like a friend group at her school (she was shown to be popular. but we only see her specifically interact with one person), and was extremely nervous to join the titans, not because they intimidated her, but because she didnt really...want to be there. She'd rather be with people she knows. She spends most of her time practicing archery, even before she was speedy. The only time we ever saw her go out anywhere was on a date with Dodger. And I will be pretending for the sake of this post that all of this is bc of character stuff and not just bad writing!

Similarly, Ollie "goateed loudmouth" Queen thrives when he's alone, he prefers it, he rarely spends time with people outside of his family or close close friends. He'll rant and rave at leaguers and cops and capitalists and villains all day long, but he's at his happiest and most content when he's alone, and often when on the move too, this man cannot sit still he is like a fucking shark he will die if he is in the same place too long but thats unrelated to this post.

As is pretty much a requirement to be in the arrowfam. Neither of them are here to fight the big alien threats you take on while being in the league/titans. They're here to save the little guy and fuck up capitalists. They have both seen the worst of society on the very opposite ends of the spectrum, Ollie with the rich, Mia with those the rich forget or ignore. I don't think I really need to add an example of Ollie here considering thats like his main this if u know anything about him. But look heres mia thinking abt it in her first titans issue.

Now with coping mechanisms they're a lil different, Mia tends to isolate and stay in one place. Ollie will isolate but fuck off somewhere. Accidentally walk to canada. That sorta thing.

(pls ignore how terrifying bald ollie is)

They also both mask their emotions and deflect with humour when around other people, they don't want others to have to deal with their shit, they don't want to burden them (hence the isolation, this also often leads to them imploding in on themselves). Heres my most favourite example of their similarities ever (yes I will continue to post and talk about this specific thing every 3 weeks and no one can stop me) I do owe Hester my life for this

Now heres the best part. They both did this a lot right. And yknow what that led to? Learning and growing and being there for each other :] Now im going to be honest we dont really see this growth in vol 3 bc judd winick is incapable of writing character development but! Phil Hester is here for us once again with his story in the 80th special and this part specifically <3

Also once again a whole arrowfam thing- neither of them give two shits about their secret id lmao. I choose to believe Mia is so flippant about hers bc she so easily realised Ollie was GA that she just went like. Yeah sure I won't give a fuck either, it's clearly working for him.

oh and they both like musical theatre, hate batman and are homophobic**. sad. **not actually thats just an in joke in fandom

[solottrpgchronicles]

4b. Restless - Dead Letter Society (Emile)

Algonquin Park, March 9, 2024

I was all fired up and ready to investigate when I arrived in Algonquin, proud to have reached the destination before Ava; I thought it would be no problem to uncover some juicy news while talking to the tourists or surveying the area, but I'm feeling too restless, too unfocused to do anything useful.

Lately, my opinions about how great it is to be a vampire are rapidly changing. The old, confident me who just wanted to live as a vampire among humans, without any secrets, is but a fading memory.

I still want to live among mortals, but maybe not as I am right now; I miss being one of them. The main reason why I'm in this mess is my cursed condition; and now I find myself on the run from who knows who or what exactly, framed for inadvertently killing a monster, forced to go no contact with my family to protect both myself and them.

I feel uncharacteristically lonely. Most of my conversations with people these past nights had the hidden goal of seeking company and comfort, rather than investigating.

I met this mortal girl, Daphne, a social media manager who moved to Canada from Greece; after making the mandatory remarks about "oh, do you miss Greece?? I bet the weather is much nicer there!" We chatted about her job. I learned the following:

Social media users have, sadly, a short attention span (I could have guessed that one)

They seek new content all the time, while old content is easily forgotten

When it comes to viral news videos, the best way to make people forget is therefore to give them some new viral video to munch on

If I apply myself and Ava finally gets here and helps me, we could find out the solution to the mystery, which is probably way more interesting than what was going on in the video about me. We'll have to get the media involved somehow.

With that end goal in mind, I keep trying to investigate, but it's hard. These past few nights I've consistently seen the same group of mom friends hanging out at the hotel bar, drinking and laughing. One of their recurring topics - they talk really loudly - is how beneficial yoga and meditation are, how they can't live without the practice anymore, yada yada. All I recall about meditation is that you need to breathe deeply, "find stillness" and be in the present.

I don't know what got into me, but today before sunrise I stepped into the woods out back and I found a big rock just off the trail to sit on.

I tried to meditate.

Since I don't need to breathe, that part is useless to me, but stillness and noticing my surroundings are enough of a mental exercise. I'm not sure if I'm doing it right, but when I opened my eyes I noticed something half covered in mud, on the ground next to me: it was a clear resin ring with miniature leaves inside.

For some reason, holding that ring suddenly calmed me. I'm wearing it right now as a necklace, almost as if it was an amulet.

I'm being weird, I know, but so what if my mind is convinced this silly object is special? If it helps clear my mind, so be it. I want to listen, feel, really be here just the way I am.

---

P.S: I just received a threatening letter from the Dead Letter Society. It said "Our dance begins", and attached I found a piece of crimson red paper... and one of my mom's old earrings.

What does it mean? Did they kidnap my parents? What's going on with the DLS?

Perhaps I shouldn't be here, after all. Perhaps I should go back to Montreal, even if it's a trap.

I don't know what to do.

--------------------

This is a playthrough of a solo TTRPG called "Dead Letter Society", by Rori Montford.

You can check it out on itch.io: https://montfordtales.itch.io/dead-letter-society

[laylameower]

My stand on the Transgender Genocide

For the last week, I've been online, and researched, and warned, and read... All about two topics:

Cat Pictures - I just can't live without them.

Genocide - and about this I should continue writing this post. No more cat pics.

What's a genocide?, you may ask. Well, it is not necessarily systematic murder in camps of specific groups. It is any kind of an attempt to remove a group from society. It can be any kind of group:

Individuals of Species, a Sub-Species, or a Race within the Species

Individuals that carry a specific look, gene, or attribute

Believers of an ideology or religion

Basically, any kind of group. And no, it is not necessarily related to genes.

What's the problem with a genocide, then? If genocide means a removal of a certain group from society, what's the problem? If one honestly asks this question, they probably have been brainwashed at least once. And that's a completely different topic. I'll assume (and believe) genocide is bad for the entirety of the post.

What's the danger for us? For us, trans people - or any person - that is a huge danger. Genocide usually continues to murder, and usually doesn't stay restrained to a single group. The Nazis started with killing trans people, too. It means loss of our rights and our ownings - and later, our lives.

I accidentally deleted this paragraph. Oops. I'll rewrite it the best I can remember. I DELETED IT AGAIN I HATE MYSELF.

That won't happen to me. That's what the Jews thought pre-WW2. People really don't like their bubble being poken - the brain tries to protect itself, by the most valid strategy at the time - complete denial. No offense intended.

But the children! There are two responses to this sentence:

Your children will feel much safer being able to express themselves without crappy ideologies restraining them from doing so.

Children growing up in a place where rights are being taken from a group, will know very well not to join nor declare themselves a part of said group. That's just human survival instinct.

I deleted another paragraph accidentally. I hate myself so much. I'll just shorten it from ten sentences to one.

I'll stay and fight! Your choice. I'm a scared piece of crap, so I won't. Heavily unrecommended.

How can I flee? Here's something I wrote about that in a Reddit comment.

The Jews thought the same thing before WW2. They didn't believe the Nazis would murder them. They didn't want to run. Six million of them were wrong.

Run for your life. Now. Take all your assets. Cash only. Take digital stuff, and papers that prove you own something - but they'll be worth something only AFTER the genocide will end, so make sure you have physical valuable stuff. But the country CAN and WILL revoke your ownings. And not in USD - take it in another currency. You don't want your money not to be accepted because of sanctions, or the value of the money to drop because of a war.

You will want to move all the ownings you weren't able to take with you to the ownership of someone you trust, or to another country's banks (recommending the swiss).

Plan ahead. There'll be lots of refugees. The genocide won't stay restricted to only trans people. You will want to have valuable stuff to pay to people for food and a place to live in the country you'll be in. Secure a place to live.

And most importantly: flee. Tell all LGBTQIA+ people. Especially trans people. And don't say "I'm stealth", the government will seize your medical history and find out. The government will track you online. Don't say "it's illegal", because genocide is illegal, and they'll take any step possible to exterminate us.

Flee from the US. It's not about keeping those who will find out they're trans, and don't know yet - they'll grow up with enough internalized transphobia not to dare to say anything to anybody. It's not about a long term plan. This is about IMMEDIATE SURVIVAL.

Take a loan, to afford the tickets and housing in Europe or Canada or whatever place you wanna go to. It'll be invalidated when the law declares us inferior and non-human, when they'll forbid us from having bank accounts.

I'm NOT crazy. I'm Jewish, and German. My great grandfather was smart enough to run away, before he was murdered. His entire family - dead. This is a reboot of my culture and family's most remembered and important event. This, my friends, will be a holocaust.

They'll systematically murder and exterminate us. No remorse. They won't even see us as human beings. Flee the country. Please. Don't let hell collect another six million people.

And no, Hitler didn't go this far. He just said we're inferior, and should be murdered so "natural" selection will do its job. *They* are trying to finish Hitler's job. The monster that systematically murdered people, Jews, people of color, trans people, gays, intersex people, autistic people, and more and more - still has a legacy. We must run, and we must defend ourselves.

Canada seems like the best option - refugee status - but we know not if a genocide will be the only thing to happen. As far as we know, the USA could start WW3. After all, transphobia and racism commonly come together. If the republicans will win the elections - those who stayed are doomed. If the democrats win - it is only a delay, not a win.

Yeah, it's a bit fanatic. But it's written that way to scare people, make them actually think about it. I'm sorry, but I can't put a "read more" bar on mobile - I'll do it when I reach my PC. Thank you for reading this whole thing - and even if you don't agree, please reply!

[black-arcana]

AMY LEE Shoots Down Rumor She Is LINKIN PARK's New Singer, But Says She 'Might' Be Willing To 'Do It Part Time'

In a new interview with Canada's iHeart Radio, EVANESCENCE's Amy Lee was asked about the recent rumors that LINKIN PARK has recruited a female singer and some LP fans' desire to see her step in as the replacement for that band's late vocalist Chester Bennington.

"That is an incredible compliment," she said after being told that she was a fan favorite to fill the slot (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET). "I have not heard that. No, I have not been contacted [by LINKIN PARK] or anything like that. But [I'm a] huge fan feel like our worlds, our fanbases are a lot of the same people."

She continued: "That's really sweet. We never… Well, did we play shows [together]? I don't know if [EVANESCENCE and LINKIN PARK] were on a festival together or whatever. We met. We were in the studio at the same time. When we were making 'Fallen', I just briefly got to have a conversation or two with Chester. He was really sweet.

"But no, it's not true," she clarified in regard to the rumors that could be LINKIN PARK's new singer. "But that's awesome. They should ask me about that. I don't have a ton of free time, but I might do it part time."

The rumor about LINKIN PARK recruiting a female vocalist was apparently started by ORGY frontman Jay Gordon who mentioned during a radio interview that he had "heard" that they were working with a "girl singer now". When pressed, Gordon continued by saying: "Don't quote me on that. I'm not sure who the singer is going to be, but I heard it was gonna be female. They might just try to move on like that. That ought to be interesting." Jay later seemingly walked back his comments, writing in a Facebook post that he knew "nothing about any of that" and accused "people" of taking his words "out of context."

During EVANESCENCE's 2022 tour with HALESTORM, Lee and HALESTORM frontwoman Lzzy Hale performed a cover version of LINKIN PARK's "Heavy" at every stop. Lzzy spoke about the decision to cover the track in an interview with the 105.7 The Point radio station. She said: "[Amy and I] were lobbing a couple of ideas back and forth and then, all of a sudden, we landed on LINKIN PARK. And [we thought], you know what? That would be really cool because inadvertently it would be a tribute to Chester, but also, everything that this song has been about, we've all been through that — everybody. And so it's almost this like very church moment where you walk out onstage and you're, like, 'All right. This is my church. These are my people. We're all doing this together.'"

LINKIN PARK has just released a career-spanning greatest-hits album, "Papercuts (Singles Collection 2000-2023)". The record also features a previously unreleased track with Bennington, "Friendly Fire", which was recorded during the sessions for the group's final studio album, 2017's "One More Light". Bennington died later that year.

In a 2004 interview with Revolver magazine, Chester talked about meeting EVANESCENCE in the studio, and how Amy explained to him that her record label tried to make them sound like LINKIN PARK.

"I met [EVANESCENCE] in the studio when they were recording their record. We were both recording in the same building. I was talking to [Amy]. And she was nice. She said, 'We're having these problems. Everyone at our label wants us to be you.' I told her that's lame. She agreed. She said they went as far as wanting to ask [LINKIN PARK's] Mike [Shinoda] to do a part on a song. She said, 'We knew he wouldn't do it.' So they're running around trying to get guys in other bands to do it like he would. ' I told her to be herself and tell the label to put it where the sun doesn't shine. But the next thing I heard was 'Bring Me To Life' with a guy that sounded just like Mike. It was a little upsetting."

In a 2018 interview with SiriusXM, Shinoda spoke about how he was asked to guest on "Bring Me To Life" and explained why he turned it down.

"I remember when EVANESCENCE first came out, somebody from the record label said, 'Do you want to be on this other band's song? They have this song with a singer — a female singer — and there's like, a rap part.' And I turned it down without having even known anything about the band," he said. "I didn't know anything about the band, and we didn't have anything to do with them. But I just — I just knew that, like, I did my thing in my band, and I didn't want to do my thing in another band. And when I ended up hearing the song, I went, 'Oh, I get it. I get why they wanted me on that song. Like, that would have sounded cool.' I still — I didn't want to do it, because I think, like, they have their own thing and the hardest part for EVANESCENCE was probably growing out of that moment, which they did gracefully. Part of it is just due to the fact that at the time, you know, they were writing cool stuff, and Amy's voice is just a great voice. I mean, she's just got a very powerful voice."

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

The Limitless Podcast Transcript [S2E9]

TW: None. Notes: Finally picked this up again! Word Count: 1.9K

[Previous] | [Next] [Other Groups Masterlist] | [Without a Trace Masterlist]

Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in these actions. The idols mentioned in this work are meant to be seen more as face claims rather than the actual idols themselves.

Release Date: August X, 2021 Episode Title: The Charlatan Run Time: 20:32 Minutes

Intro Song: Fake Luv - thankgoditswknd

Johnny: Hello, hello, everyone! Good evening and welcome to the ninth episode of the Limitless Podcast! We're your hosts Johnny Suh and Mark Lee, and boy do we have an episode for you all tonight.

Mark: Yup, that's right! As highly requested by our Patreons, we're doing an episode on the Charlatan, aka the serial killer who has been terrorizing multiple cities now.

Johnny: But before we delve into that, we have an announcement to make. We will be holding off on the podcast's transcripts for now, none of us have been able to reach Crys since the last episode, so we're going to have to put them on hold.

Mark: Don't worry, though! This isn't the first time Crys has kind of disappeared off the face of the earth, I'm pretty sure she'll text one of us soon with some outrageous story about what happened to her.

Johnny: And, also, as you can see, no special guest today, sadly.

Mark: Yeah, we're back to the old format for now, but we'll see who we can reel in next episode!

Johnny: Yup, so that's all for that for now, let's move onto the news! Mark, take it away!

Mark: Yes... so as everyone expected, the Vigilante Ban has been the hot topic for the last couple of days. It was recently put into question with the fight for better insurance policies and healthcare for victims of sudden mutations as well as for the appearance of the "A" team a few days ago at the bank. Speaking of that team up, they've been quiet since their debut, and many people are anxiously awaiting their next move after their bold stand up against the Charlatan. There has been no word from lawmakers or law enforcement about their appearance. And that's all for news!

Johnny: Onto our main topic, now. The Charlatan! Who are they? What are they? Why are they? Etc. We had you all send us your pressing questions or interesting theories on Twitter and Shotaro went through them and picked the ones that came up the most. But, before we do that, I'll have Mark give you all a brief introduction.

Mark: Yes, sir, the Charlatan, as we all know, is officially listed as a "serial killer" according to the police. All of their victims are specified in a "list" that they publish at random times but always after the previous list concludes. The victims on the list seemingly have no correlation to each other, but this is currently being investigated. The Charlatan's modus operandi evolved from murdering people themselves into a more organized crime ring and, as a result, we are even seeing their influence in other countries.

Johnny: Fucking wild.

Mark: Yeah, and since the first list was published, what, a year ago? I want to say it was in July of last year, and since then the Charlatan worked slowly but efficiently. If your name was on the list, then it was like a guaranteed death sentence. And this was true up until their penultimate list, we know for a fact that actor Han Jisung is still alive and well.

Johnny: Yeah, and all the way in Canada, hoo.

Mark: He really went as far as he could to avoid this, and I can't even be mad because, not gonna lie, same. If I had some known serial killer coming after me and I had that kind of money I'd run and hide too. But, I'm so sure about this, the Charlatan would have found a way to get to him if that group didn't push him into creating a new list. The Charlatan's fail rate is eerily low.

Johnny: Huh... with that much information someone would think you're the Charlatan, Mark.

Mark: Uhhh... I'll take that as a compliment? To be honest I just spent four hours on Twitter and went through the second page of Google.

Johnny: Whoa, talk about thorough there, bud.

Mark: Yeah, yeah, but we've barely touched the tip of the iceberg. To date, there have been up to eighty "Charlatan" cases, but really there have only been a confirmed twenty. Meaning, the actual Charlatan was only responsible for twenty while the remaining sixty were copycat cases. If you reference the Charlatan's list, we really only have evidence for twenty of them.

Johnny: Damn... so the Charlatan has followers then?

Mark: Sure, if you want to call them that. I was scrolling through their blog posts and they just seem like bandwagoners, know what I mean?

Johnny: Yeah, it's a little tasteless, I think. Calling yourself a Charlatan supporter after all the crap that's happened because of them, like, it's so disrespectful to the victims.

Mark: That's what I'm saying! But the fact that the Charlatan has such a cult following is interesting already, you know? When was the last time we saw something like this?

Johnny: Hm... probably the Loveholic cases.

Mark: Oh shit that guy.

Johnny: Yeah, that guy. That shit was crazy.

Mark: Quick aside to those who don't know, before the vigilante ban our last episode of season one was supposed to be about Loveholic, is he a villain or a vigilante? But, ya know, events happened and the episode never aired.

Johnny: We lost the script too, not gonna lie I was really sad about that.

Mark: Me too, but it's not like we had much on that guy anyway. Kinda sketch though, I wonder if his profile had changed over the years.

Johnny: Hold on, let me do a quick Google search and...

Transcriber's Note: Hey, guys! Crys here, this next part of the podcast ended up not being recorded for some reason? The mic went out and those two just didn't realize it. So I'm just going to pick up whenever the audio continues.

Mark: Uh... hello, hello?

Johnny: Dude, I can't believe that we didn't notice our mics turned off.

Mark: I know! Shotaro, how's chat looking?

Shotaro: Chat's saying that they can hear you loud and clear. But they didn't catch any of what you said last.

Mark: Damn.

Johnny: Damn.

Mark: It wasn't really relevant anyway, so I guess we can just move on and get back on topic. Seems like the Charlatan is really having a tough time with these vigilantes, huh?

Johnny: Honestly, they even changed their list for those vigilantes, that hasn't happened before and as far as we know all nine are still relatively active despite it.

Mark: Active and working together but, I have to play devil's advocate here, what's taking them so long? Nine against one? Not to be that person but I think with their members they should be able to pinpoint the Charlatan quickly, I mean, they have Cypher!

Johnny: That's what I was thinking! But they also have Mastermind, you know how particular he is with his plans, and even Timekeeper can be argued to be a careful risk taker too, you know.

Mark: I guess, and with the whole list change it's not like many others are at risk right now, but... it's still scary, you know?

Johnny: Of course. Who knows who's going to be on that hitlist next.

Mark: Exactly. But now I'm wondering what the Charlatan's motive could possibly be, you know? Murders and kidnappings, but why?

Johnny: Yeah, there really are no correlations with many of the people on the lists, let alone on the same list. I hope once he gets caught he explains his whole plan.

Mark: Like in the movies?

Johnny: Exactly like in the movies. The Charlatan just has this intriguing aura that I'm so curious of, and no doubt that's why those nine got together too, maybe.

Mark: I can see it, the Charlatan's always one step ahead somehow, like they have eyes everywhere, and their henchmen seem to be doubling and tripling, it's hard to tell who's affiliated with the Charlatan and who's faking.

Johnny: There's something really interesting about those henchmen, though! Have you noticed that they are using certain weapons?

Mark: From previous vigilantes, I know! Just the other day one of those henchmen were spotted holding onto Agust's pistols, isn't that insane? Where the hell did they get those? I'm pretty sure the police rounded up nearly all of them.

Johnny: Well, that's what they want us to think.

Mark: Of course, it is.

Johnny: It's just... interesting. And then there's why they use them too.

Mark: I mean... if you want to go into it... I have a theory.

Johnny: Ooh, do share.

Mark: Well, the definition of 'Charlatan' to begin with is "a person falsely claiming to have a special knowledge or skill, or a fraud." And if the Charlatan's henchmen are using ex-vigilante weapons, maybe they're trying to mimic them? But with that said, whoever the real Charlatan is might be someone well know hiding in plain sight. Likewise, they could be someone entirely random just throwing us for a loop, you know? It kind of fits when we put it up with how the Charlatan seems to be one step ahead.

Johnny: Wait that's actually really good, Mark!

Mark: Then part of me wanted to take it to a larger stretch and say maybe the people on their lists are also somewhat of "charlatans" but, for the most part, the victims seem very normal, nothing stands out about them.

Johnny: I wonder how much more this case will unfold.

Mark: Me too, it really is a twisting case. The police are having so much difficulty figuring anything out about them, the broadcasts are just encrypted so well that the Charlatan's impossible to track down and the use of henchmen makes it even harder.

Johnny: Let alone their weapons, those belonged to vigilantes, and it's not like many of the police force are trained to take direct hits from those.

Mark: Yeah, the whole thing is just a mess.

Johnny: You think this is what they wanted?

Mark: Oh, yeah, definitely. Chaos of some kind, or at least instilling that fear into everyone.

Johnny: Shit... keep our doors locked, right?

Mark: Yeah. I think we went over a good majority of it all, the casefile is shockingly short.

Johnny: For it being a year old, the Charlatan covers their tracks well.

Mark: Uh huh, there's not much we can do about lack of information. There's only eyewitness reports of their henchmen, but nothing on the person themselves.

Johnny: Like I said, lock your doors.

Mark: And on that note, we can probably end this episode early. Thanks for listening, you guys, and as usual we’ll be active on Twitter to answer your questions on CuriousCat and, also as usual, we’ll be answering the first 100 questions that come in. We’ll leave a poll pinned for what vigilante you want us to talk about next and maybe we’ll even throw in something extra. If you check out Patreon right now you’ll see a nifty poll for a secret thing that I think you’ll all enjoy. Oh, and buy us a Kofi! Link’s in our bio on Twitter.

Johnny: Oh and thanks to Crys, as always, for transcribing! She works hard so we don't have to! Make sure to follow her on @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l​ and buy her a Kofi so she can keep transcribing more of your favorite podcasts.

Mark: And, seriously, stay safe, everyone.

Johnny: We'll see you in the next one!

Outro Song: the simmer down - deep priority

General Tag List: @stopeatread @bat-shark-repellant @raeincitizen @umbralhelwolf @yangsrose @kazooms @sadcoffeecritic 

Without a Trace: @naiify @sunsethw4 @leesalts

If you want to be added to either tag list or removed just send me a reply to this post, and ask, or a DM and I’ll add you as soon as possible!

[supernoondles]

2024

In my haste of class planning and making the most of my time in the bay, as I moved to LA for work in December of 2023, I completely forgot to write my year in review. So now I tell that it was a great year!

It was a year of milestones: I finally finished my PhD and graduated over the summer, spent the fall funemployed and traveling, and the last month moving and preparing for what, at least right now, seems to be my dream job. Yet when things are too good, I harbor a greater fear it could all come falling down.

I write this sitting on a plane from SFO to LAX (wretched airport) because 1) it was conveniently timed with my brother and his fiance (!)’s flight back to the Netherlands, and 2) I had airline credit from when I got COVID and could not make my friend’s wedding in Florida. In 2023 I got a PhD, my brother got a bachelor’s, and I got COVID from my mom when we went to Boston for said brother’s graduation. Last night (which isn't technically 2023, but 2024 starts, for me, when my health insurance card finally arrives in the mail and I get in a classroom with students) I hung out with my friends, who largely live in San Francisco, in the endless Asian strip malls of Union City. “When you get to the suburbs, SF and LA aren't so different,” said a friend. This has helped quell my anxiety about the move: that driving 30 minutes to neon plazas of Rowland Heights was semantically and experientially the same as the imitation mission plazas of the East/South Bay. (Since starting to read City of Quartz, again part of my migration south, I have thought: how funny that the lasting impact of the Spaniards, besides white supremacy, is their architecture. How funny it is that Asian immigrants now occupy these sites of worship.) This year, despite being filled with drama and (claimed) abandonment and reconciliation (or not despite, perhaps because of?) was the year of my mostly queer, entirely Asian diaspora friend group. In LA I believe I will have everything I need except for them (so although I'm scouting, I know what a rarity and a privilege I've had).

To put my move in perspective, I haven't changed geographic regions since I started college. Leaving high school was exciting (I couldn't wait) and for the last decade of my life I've had solid friends and community, as well as my family nearby. Sure, it's just the other major metropolitan area in the same state, but the distance is non trivial! For the first time in my adult life I don't have a reserve of people who are willing to hang out on a moment’s notice. For the first time in my adult life I am also living alone. I have loved the control (especially around having a clean house), but I get lonely very easily.

This year my Canadian partner left the PhD program and moved far away (back to Canada) to my immediate and eminent grief. I'm better now: daily calls help, as does begging for attention, as does turning an old friend into a lover. Japan was a sex vacation. Banff was a sex vacation. Oahu (where my lover’s aunt lives) was a sex vacation. 2023 was the year of having really good sex: public sex in a Petaluma park, sex in a ryokan with paper thin walls, hookups of varying but generally positive quality. As a consequence of my partner leaving, I finally became a real slut. It's been liberating, except for the fact that, even as of writing, I never heard back about my Medicare application so I was fucking uninsured. Out of the many indulgent days of unemployment vacation, two instances have stuck with me: hiking 12 miles while it was snowing in Banff to two teahouses nestled amongst glaciers, and landing at LAX after a sleepless flight from Japan, with a grueling 7 hour drive back to the bay ahead of us.

As I knew I would be leaving the bay area in 2022 (do you sign a year before you start in any industry besides than academia?), in 2023 I whittled away at my bay area bucket list. While I never managed to get up Sutro Tower, I did go to the Fallorons, which, despite my throwing up twice, was everything a birder could have wanted. (I took two boat rides this year, the other at Cape Cod when my brother begged for us to vacate his suffocating studio, and in that one I saw a great white shark attack. How lucky I am!) As usual, I went to many shows. New this year were shows my friends performed in! The past winter had the most rain I’d ever seen in the bay area, so I did a lot of hiking amongst the luscious green east bay hills, which stayed green until May. This made me also really happy, but I don't want my relationship to the bay area (like it is for so many people I know who have moved) to be one defined by lack.

One thing I will not miss, however, is West SF’s fog. This summer, as well as the ending of Daylight Savings time, particularly pushed me to my limits. As I get older my need for two daily hours of direct sunlight exposure grows more dire. The other lowlights of the year were having to replace my phone screen twice, and, after a decade in the bay, finally having my car broken into. I found it ironic that it was not because of petty theft (I also never leave anything in my car), but a TikTok trend encouraging teens to steal Kias and Hyundais. At least they failed with me!

In 2023 I organized a really big (600 people) party for a conference. I wrote a paper with my friends about power dynamics for the same conference (which usually only talks about “technical” things) which was also the last chapter in my thesis. Thanks, advisor, for believing in me. As the party was on Halloween, I hosted a costume contest. The winner for scariest costume was my labmate who put a photo of our advisor (my other one) on a programmable LED screen strapped to his chest.

In 2023 I also started getting paid an hourly wage that made me happy looking at the number doing contract work with an old undergraduate mentor. Beyond this, and the volunteer labor, and the paper/thesis writing, I did not do much of “working” this year: also part of the reason why this year has been awesome.

Thanks to an Asians with dyed hair and pronouns art accountability club, in 2023 I made more art than I had in past years. I did gouachetober and the occasional digital illustration. I did not, however, accomplish what I sought to do during my unemployment: dedicate myself to being a full time artist and making something great. (In retrospect, rest, recuperation, and being excited for my job instead of burnt out from my PhD was the more important goal, and I definitely achieved that!) I feel like one’s relationship to their creative practice is a lifelong evolution (mine certainly is), and at least I had time to slow down and think about how I want that to shape out (the answer which is, more than it has been.) I didn't sew much of significance (a robe with black cat fabric I bought in Japan, a very hungry caterpillar Halloween costume, a Pokémon fanny pack) this year. It was, however, a great year for video games: I really enjoyed Tears of the Kingdom (timed well with my COVID recovery), Super Mario Wonder, Pikmin 4, and I wouldn't say I “enjoyed” it, but I did play the Scarlet Violet DLC. My brother started playing Pikmin Bloom (so I have been playing it more) and I also “play” Pokemon Sleep every night. The best thing I watched was Beef. I listened to a lot of Caroline Polachek.

At a zine making workshop at Sour Cherry I got a 4x6 photo print of a cat that says, Wow! I'm looking forward to the future! That's the energy I'm approaching this new year with (I'm going to hang it in my office for my students). I am looking forward to adopting cats. My only resolution is to work less than 40 hours a week. Recapping how I did with last year's resolutions, I 1) did not really exercise more consistently, but I did run more consistently, and did a 5K with my dad on Thanksgiving! (Middle school me would never imagine.) 2) am unclear if I developed a more methodological way to conduct literature reviews, because my thesis related work was mainly copy/pasted from my old papers, and 3) did very much enjoy my last year in the bay. Here's hoping I can find community, nature, and food (rip China Lounge, I love you so much) as good in LA.

[blogofageminimoon]

self reflection: life update

hey me, it's been awhile since you've written on here. a lot has changed in the last month and a bit.

congratulations, you've finally got the chance to travel. the montreal trip was planned about a year in advance so you knew it was coming. guess what? you had a lot of fun. you got to immerse yourself in a different environment and took in all that you could. you got to share this opportunity and make special memories with your very well loved friends. mind you, there were some conflicts along the way which are bound to happen in a group trip, but you still made the most of it. you got to experience various cultural differences and used those insights to compare how it is living back home. you explored new places, learned new things, and lived your life. those conflicts are learning experiences for the future trips you hope to take with your friends.

you also took a big spontaneous leap. you decided to go on a last minute calgary & banff trip with your friend 1 week before the actual trip date. moreover, it was with her boyfriend and his peers who are complete strangers to you. you came back from montreal, slept the night, woke up the next morning, packed for calgary and left the same night to go out west. it was a wild adventure and you knew nothing going into this trip. you didn't know who you were going to meet, you didn't know where you were staying, you didn't know the trip itinerary. you just jumped in and went with the flow. and you had a spectacular time. you got to experience canadian nature and hike various trails you thought you would never get to go to. you got to witness unreal, beautiful scenic views of the rocky mountains and some of the bluest, clearest waters you'll ever see. you learned about a different side of canada and it was totally unplanned. on this trip, you also got a concussion during the road trip on the ride home from banff but you're okay. a little lesson learned, to ALWAYS wear your seatbelt but life happens and unexpected things good or bad are bound to happen in that life. all you can do is take it, move forward and learn. you've met new people and got to socialize. you've gained new perspectives from these people. you don't know if you will cross paths with them again, but it is an experience you will remember nonetheless.

now you are back home. you were supposed to back to work the same evening your flight landed back home. your body crashed and said no, and that's when you found out you had a concussion. so now you've been stuck at home, off from work, limited to only your local neighbourhood. your mom tells you that you need to slow down and your dad tells you that you should space out your vacations in relation to going back to work.

you know what? sure, i've been on the go go go lately. but i had fun. and i lived and learned and i'm young and i still have life to keep living. i don't have any regrets. i'm bored out of my mind right now as i'm typing this entry. but i'm alive, happy, healthy and breathing. i'm in a good headspace. i'm excited for what's to come. i'm in tune with my spiritual self. i think everything that's happened this past summer was for the better. cheers to a smooth recovery, you're doing great and getting better day by day. you're accomplishing more every minute. you can now use this experience to empathize better with your patients at work. just keep living, and wait for what the future holds for you.

career wise, you are also levelling up. you're going to start precepting your first student, although it's somewhat on hold from the concussion. but don't worry, it's coming! you will get to meet her and you are excited. it's a new challenge taking a student, probably getting a heavier workload, all while healing from a concussion but you got this. you also got an email that a unit council is starting this fall. you reached out because you are interested. you are hopeful all will be well. timing is everything, everything is starting to happen now and things finally feel like they are moving forward and upward.

so from me to me, i am thankful and grateful for everything that happened and everything that will happen. i am just waiting to see where life takes me next. i was in a low mindset for the past few months but things are getting better. ups and downs are a part of life. :)

-

p.s. you you need to make another astrology entry based on these experiences. fyi just a reminder, don't forget.

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

Pat Lenihan

"When we were moved from Petawawa we expected to go to another camp. We arrived at Hull to find a new jail, a big building, very modern. When we saw the walls around this building we refused to go in. By this time there were about a hundred of us anti-fascists from all over Canada. When we were told to go in, Norman Freed, our spokesman, said, "No man move. We're not going in there."

When the officer told us to get marching we told him that we were not going into any jail or prison. We would tolerate a camp but not this. For about an hour there was lots of excitement. The officer went in to consult his superiors, and I guess they phoned across the river to Ottawa. Finally they came back and told us that Hull was not going to be operated as a prison. We were going to run it. Before we'd move they took our committee in and showed them the whole place. A little while later Norman Freed and the committee came out and told us it was going to be all right.

On the inside, it was fine; there was a beautiful kitchen, everything shining. There were two bunks to a cell, and no locks on the doors, no soldiers in sight at all, no police, no prison staff. Any soldiers that were on guard were on the outside. There was only one lock on the whole building. That didn't stop us as we had complete freedom to go outside. There was a big compound for exercise, and there was also a door that led to the outside. We could go out to a wooded area and sit under the trees. Outside there were maybe five acres of bush. It looked like an unkempt park but it was a beautiful spot for reading and studying.

The soldiers were members of the Veterans' Guard. They were our friends. Sometimes when we were outside, there would be soldiers sitting at the corner of the fence, maybe 3 feet outside it. On a hot day, a soldier would sit down and the next thing he'd be snoozing with his rifle between his legs. If we saw a sergeant or an officer coming we'd holler or throw rocks to wake the guard. When we received a crystal radio set in a can of cottage cheese, it was decided that it would be kept in my cell. I shared a cell with Muni Taub, right in the middle of the cell block. I was on the bottom bunk, he was on the top. The radio was put under my pillow. The cells were inspected once a day, but after a while it got pretty lax. In the afternoons, when things had quieted down after the inspections, a few of us took turns listening to all the news. So every night we had a full report on the day's news.

I'll never forget it - I was lying in the bunk one night listening and the news broke about Pearl Harbor. I sailed out of my bunk. I don't think my feet hit the ground until I got down to the end of the passage where Norman Freed was resting and reading. "Norman!" I said. "Get up. I just got it. Pearl Harbor's wiped out." He thought I had gone crazy. They all did for a couple of seconds. I told them to come on up and listen for themselves. And sure enough, they found out that it was true.

I imagine that set is somewhere around that building yet. We used it right until the last man was released. You couldn't take it out with because you were searched going out.

There were two attempts that we know of to plant RCMP stool pigeons among us. These fellows would come in through ordinary channels. The door would open and some fellow dressed like we were would walk in. We'd all gather around him wondering if we knew him or knew of him. Both times the guy was French Canadian. There was quite a group of French Canadians with us. We became worried right away with the first fellow. You could tell by the way he carried himself that he'd had military training. Within a couple of days the French-Canadian comrades knew that he was a plant. Our committee went immediately to the camp commandant and told him to get the plant out before he got hurt. Of course the commandant had an excuse. He said he didn't know who the guy was but that he had to keep him interned. Possibly it was true. It was up to the top brass in Ottawa.

In a way I felt sorry for the stool pigeon. He had to eat and live with us. Nobody would look at him; they would almost spit at him every time he came round. His food would be delivered to him on a plate. All the rest, say twelve men at a table, would share a big platter of meat, vegetables and potatoes. He was never allowed to touch any of the platters, only the portion that was served to him. It was often doused heavily with pepper and salt so no one in the world could eat it.

We wanted him out. A couple of times we took his kit, mattress and all his possessions and threw them outside, right next to the door that divided us from the soldiers' headquarters. When they opened the door they'd find his mattress and everything else. He'd be standing with his stuff, looking glum. After about a week they let him out. About three months later they repeated the process with someone else, but then they gave up.

All through our internment in Kananaskis, Petawawa and finally in Hull, we were treated with respect by 98 per cent of the military staff, and that included a lot of the officers too. There is one episode I'll never forget.

In Hull jail we did all the cooking ourselves; we had all the regular cooking equipment of the army, such as big seven-or eight-gallon pots for making soup. We received a lot of fruit, raisins and such, more than we could eat. We decided to make some good whisky. We had to cook the stuff in one of those kitchen pots, and make it in the kitchen. We poured the juice from the mash into this big pot and then covered it with a pan which would sink into the soup about 6 inches. Then we filled it to the top with ice. The steam from the juice would start to boil or percolate and it would hit the bottom of the ice pan. There was another pan to catch the alcohol, and that liquid was clear. Did we have a party with the first batch!

One day, the orderly officer came in to inspect the kitchen; Fred Collins, Misha Cohen and I were there. We had made maybe 10 gallons and we had it stored in vinegar jugs behind the sacks of flour, We had a supply but we were making another batch. When you came into the kitchen the smell was pretty powerful. The officer came in as we were busy chopping up meat. He looked at all the pots and when he came to the special pot he asked what it was.

"Oh, that's a new kind of French soup we're making," said Fred. I could have died laughing. "Well now, isn't that interesting?" The officer turned to the sergeant and said, "Isn't that interesting?" We didn't

hear a word more. Everything went fine. About three days later, who should stop me but the commandant. He asked me if I worked in the kitchen. When I said yes, he asked what the stuff was we had behind the flour sacks. Obviously they had checked the kitchen at night when we were asleep. I told him it was vinegar. All he said was, "Take it easy drinking that stuff." He was the commander of the camp. That shows you what kind of consideration we got from the soldiers.

As the war went on the Communist Party told people to forget about strikes, forget about everything else except production to help win the war and smash Hitler. This speeded up our release. I was released in September 1942. I took the train and arrived in Calgary about 6:30 in the morning. About 200 people, many of them my friends, met me at the station and gave me a royal welcome.

The following Sunday I spoke at a meeting in a big hall that held 500 people. It was jammed to the roof. I said that I should never have been put in jail because we were fighting a war against fascism and if there was one thing I had hated all my life it was fascism. I also pointed out that there had been no charges brought against me and no trial.

When our people were released, most of them volunteered for active service. Some of them were killed in France and other places. I was 39, so naturally I had to look for a job. I was blacklisted everywhere in Calgary -in fact everywhere in Alberta - as a result of my years of activity with the Communist Party and as a mine union organizer throughout the province. I was forced to go to people who knew me at city hall. I talked to Mayor Andy Davison, who knew me because I had been an alderman for eighteen months before I was interned. He agreed that I'd have a struggle getting a job outside and he gave me a job the very next morning as a motor man, a streetcar driver."

- William Repka & Kathleen Repka, Dangerous Patriots: Canada’s Unknown Prisoners of War. Vancouver: New Star Books, 1982. p. 222-225.

[gjjokok]

38 - April 1, 2024

A very different journal entry this time. Currently at JFK waiting for my flight to go back home last minute because my mom is about to die? And of course I just sent back my passport 3 days ago to apply for a new one so now I have all these complications without my passport. I won't even say that I hope she gets better, because she is pretty much completely unresponsive and hospital said she has about 1 day to live. But I do hope that she remains stable/how she is right now before I get there. Missed my previous flight by about 5 minutes and would be in Canada by now if i didn't miss it, so it'll be really bad if she gets worse/etc. before I get there just because I missed my last flight. Anyways I'm sure I'll be using this blog a lot in the next few days depending on how things turn out. I have never cried so much in my life before, which is saying a lot because I cry very hard all the time (hard cries at least monthly with soft cries every few days).

To try to put myself in a better mood (?) let's talk about something happy.

Went to Ultra Miami with my NYC friends last weekend. Even though this might seem weird to some people, since it's a music festival filled with drugs and sex and partying etc, it was such a nice way to bond with my friends. I feel so close to my NYC friends here - especially some like Ricky, JC, and Tommy. Ricky randomly gave me a shirt of his on the last day just because he thought I might like it. JC and I had so many deep talks about how much we love eachother and our current friend group. Tommy told me he's really going to miss me if/when he moves to SF and told me that he had a little crush on me all weekend because I was "always there for him when he needed me" which is crazy because that's how I feel about him. On top of loving my friends, finally got to meet Chris Gao and it went better than I could've imagined. Not only was he into me, but he was seemingly VERY into me and asked me to be his rave bae for the weekend, sent me a video afterwards of him wearing the YBWM bracelet I made him. Also kept telling me how he likes having me around and that I had good energy etc. It won't work out for us because he lives in LA/moving to Seattle soon and would never want to live in NYC (and I love NYC so don't want to move). Yuzhou also called me after to catch up and specifically to warn me that he thinks Chris Gao is a bad match for me hahaha so yeah Chris and I are not happening but at least he made me feel really comfortable and warm while we were in Miami together so I'm appreciative of that and that I got to meet him at all.

[crazyworldofemmamarie]

Day 29 of Rammstein's Countdown to Halloween

Black Christmas (1974, dir. Bob Clark)

Plot: During the holiday break, a group of sorority girls are plagued with mysterious and grotesque phone calls while a mysterious and possibly dangerous stranger lurks the property.

I be totally in the wrong if I didn't include this amazing Canadian slasher flick in the countdown. Alongside Leatherface, Billy Lenz if one of the first slashers out there and I'm sorry but I don't think there be any Michael Myers without him. The first scene is just a prime example of that, with it being shown through the killer's eyes just like Halloween (1978) does. It also heavily inspired Leigh Whannell who co wrote Saw (2004) and let's not forget the amazing reference in Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006).

I honestly love this movie, its my top favourite from my home country of Canada and I really can't get over how the man who directed A Christmas Story (1983) which is like the polar opposite and even plays the killer himself (well, physically I should say, three men played Billy Lenz I believe for the movie, one to do the voice, the director played the one that moves around and shows body, like the picture above and one was for a close up shot, I believe) anyhow, it's honestly a really great film.

It's a head of it's time. The characters/actors were not afraid to talk or bring up harsh topics such as assault, harassment, abuse (with both substances and relationships) and even abortions are all discussed throughout the film and it's done so with such respect too which is not often something we see in those kinds of experimental films from the early 70s.

I also really like how the girls aren't helpless, they aren't paranoid right away or experienced any traumatic event before hand or what not. The are just there and really, the do everything right to protect themselves and only really let their guard around the time of their fates.

The kills are extremely creative for sure. I love them. The story is well written and I love how it's set up like a mystery as well where there a several characters through the film that could be suspected as the killer and the that at the end will just leave you in shambles, but in a good way of course!

the soundtrack to the film is golden, I really love how they used Christmas songs for most of it and make it super creepy and eerie, just love it and the casting is super star studded with Margot Kidder (From the Superman Movies) and John Saxon (Nancy's father in A Nightmare on Elm Street) it blows my mind.

The effort put into the character of Billy Lenz is my favourite I love how they offer us some backstory on him but they never reveal to much and manage to leave an illusion about him closer to the end of the film. I like how they even go as far as only showcasing the silhouette form of him, with only one eyes (normally the right which out be his left) in the spotlight. That's just excellent lighting and cinematography.

If you are looking for a film that is as entertaining as it is suspenseful then you've come to the right place with this one.

[the-firebird69]

There's a lot of actions going on there's a lot of places they can go I want to make sure they're closing the taken care of when they're gone everybody is to report to me when an area is vacated so I can tell you what to do to it you should have an understanding of what to do right now but if you don't want to do it without orders you are required to tell me when it's 80% or more vacated and let's use your judgment okay if it's 70% let me know we want this job done and completed we want this idiots out what we're doing this dangerous

Thor Freya

There's still gathering for their attack at sea but they have gathered a huge force on land it's about 2 million octillion in Canada and 2 million octillion in Mexico they're sending a small units ahead to infiltrate. We have orders to annihilate them but we don't follow Max orders as we can't but that's what he wants to do. We have re grouped. And falling back from the two huge groups to see what Mac is up to. He's moved the fleet over and he is attacking them. They're falling and pretty soon gone.... The two groups are out

We think our son and daughter but really we were the ones there and he didn't know what our position was and Max knew that. Going on to phase 2 and we're going to in a concerted effort with our South Americans ourselves and Max hit the warlock until they are done in the Western hemisphere tons of them will be falling. We also are going to strike them in and around the ship assembly areas and engine assembly areas they are a huge massive pest I don't think I've ever encountered people that are just blatantly annoying you just want to sit there and beg and try and pester you into it until you're gone or hurt or fighting someone else and it takes stuff and it's really not happening and thier stupid. We are striking their bases outside of the ship area and we are striking small ones too and areas where they're gathering also going after concentration area so there's wherever they're numerous and from where they're attacking and we also taking their heavy in any flying vehicles completely. They ventured out to attack holes we are attacking them and not allowing them down it's too much work down there it's too tedious it doesn't do anything you can attack them ourselves. Fairly soon they're going to be wiped out and yeah the idiots are forming again in Russia South America and fairly soon it's going to be their time to go. It also forming out it's huge fleet and they're taking giant engines out of humongous piece of equipment and it's their equipment and it's not assembled well actually too dangerous to ride in and we usually disassemble them anyways but we don't want them moving all over the planet and big trucks or tanks ever they have no right to mirage around they're completely out of control most of them are suicidal and we're going to stop them and gather their vehicles and their son says to do it slowly if they're in big areas and they are and we understand why. We've begun that process now. Remove the quarter of one area and they are filling the entire quarter with idiots so we are taking them out and doing it in each area there are five on Earth. The max are claiming one and they get the process for us are claiming two. And we have two it's going on right now. Huge areas okay is there very big and we'll do it with several small ones too and the others and we sorta get it.

This combined for us is required I really don't need some shouting and it's all day long and if they fall apart that's easy we should make them fall apart cuz that's the way they want everyone else to do that's strong. Right now half the ship building areas are under attack and the other half are not because they are cleared of morlock yeah they're all dead. There's another stupid s*** we hear their stupid s*** and all just sit there conspiring to kidnap our son all day long out loud with each other and our son and we don't want it and he's horrified how dumb they are and they need to get their heads kicked in. I'm sending in units to get them the hell out of here look I thought it would probably be easier if they weren't stuck to him we've got an agenda and we'll stick to it and several of them have to go and I'm sending orders now. We're working on things like pulling the spaceships from the Great lakes they did not remove the mark and they are only on the first round of diamonds and it doesn't look like the clones will be in the second right now they're engaged with a huge Army up north and Hudson Bay they are fighting in feverishly and they were taking apart armament and they were haulted by Bja, who left. Evacuated. They were told not to do it and then he left, it only get vague answers why he was leaving and they're going down there to do the work. Those who stayed up are pulling out the ships and making stuff out of them and enjoying it now that's a huge huge horde up there pulling those ships apart and making weapons then a giant army in front of it it's probably about 3 million octillion and it's growing. The breeze is picking up and ships are coming out how about 2 miles it's been going all day and oxygen is being pushed here a lot of it the excavation is halted on the diamonds below however Mexico is invaded over and over and that excavation May begin at any time it's clothes take over they begin again. As it is now people are positioned in Mexico City to try and take the money and fight will start shortly and it is over cocaine and this huge cocai fields. It's just not possible to grow that much down below or even affection of it it's becoming huge and then we're talking about the cocaine feels above and they are very hard fought over right now as is the product at the border and it's moved to California to calico and that's crossing it's where they take it in because they bring it up California all the way to the Hudson Bay or to the South depending which side it's a massive massive battle massive you do not want to be in that battle if someone paid ya. Huge armament it's going up there and huge armament is being built and mostly by the warlock. It's getting very very dicey up there it is a huge huge battle all across Canada giant numbers it's humongous the battlefield is gigantic and they are going at a very hard soon we think one side will be knocked out or the other it has to be so big and well I keep going up and a lot of cork keeps coming down but there's trumpsters who going up there Non-Stop. It's almost time for Cicero the movie. El dia del El soldado. It's going to be a huge hit with everybody wants to see what's going on cuz it's pigs with these pigs. And we're moving out and we're coming here and we're going to be building more stuff since people have obnoxious

[libraford]

gods as someone that was raised in several churches (mom minister so I got all the shitty behind the scenes drama starting at like 4yo and never really believed beyond general agnostic-ish feelings. which apparently is a super common trend for pastor/minister kids to nope tf out of the church asap) the 'forcing you to be The Right Christian™ Or You Don't Deserve™™ Charity' thing hits hard. especially when I psych myself out of asking for help because I'm constantly remembering how openly hostile some of those places are to even poor christian people using their services.

like one particular church (the "open and affirming" one that threw the only trans woman out of the 20 person congregation because the old white guy treasurer learned she was trans after like 8 years and suddenly didn't want to look at her, or "worse", hear her sing) had a monthly meal for the (very poor neighborhood) community. they'd make everyone pray to God for 20 minutes before letting anyone touch even a slice of bread, but lock them out of the sanctuary during church hours because they were, I wish I was joking and that this wasn't a direct quote, "dirty homeless looters". you had to pray correctly to get food but don't you dare sully the churches doorstep trying to attend worship. meanwhile the church people organizing it are going off about how dare these people be standing in line for food instead of attending church as Real Good Christians Should.

🙃

That's fucking frightening and unfortunately I have my own similar stories.

Tw for racism, homophobia, anti-Muslim, and just... really bad stereotypes.

One of the reasons I started walking away from the church (there's a couple reasons) was at our summer mission trip (yes, I know.) In previous years, we had kept local: deep cleaning the homeless shelter, renovating the local Latino advocacy building, soup kitchen stuff. But one of the (more wealthy) girls in our group wanted to try doing a mission abroad.

Best we could do is Toronto.

We signed up with a shelter there and they gave us some tasks. The shelter REALLY played up how bad it was in this part of town- the gang violence, the culture of sin, the regressive way the men treat women in their home country.

So like... I'm from America. I've been to Chicago. Not to compare but like... hmm..

So during the introduction to how terrible it is in Toronto (...?) Our ambassador takes us through parts of town to show us what it's like to be homeless there. It was a very somber thing. We were given a small amount of money and we were to pretend it was all we had. Try to survive on a few coins.

We take our tour. Remember that this is supposed to scare us.

She takes us to an area where we hear drums. We hide behind a building. "You hear those drums? This is a homeless village. Young people come here seeking community, but you will be turned away if you cannot provide a service for them. They will only use your body for so long."

So... I'd been to drum circles before. And this was very much a drum circle. Like sure these people were a little crunchy, but it was pretty clear to me that these guys were just cutting loose after the day of work.

She takes us to the red light district.

"This is the red light district," she says. "This is where all the homosexuals come. You see that there are many young people here who are attracted to the high life. But you will see: the older men will always come looking for the younger one's to manipulate and that's how many homeless people become prostitutes."

I, a half-in-half-out of the closet lesbian, for the first time in my life, saw two happy gay men arm in arm and it was moving for me. I saw people having a good time. I'd already figured out she was full of shit. Now I was mad.

So we get back to the church we're staying at and I'm already having second thoughts about this visit to Canada. She tells us that our mission this week is to tutor some Somali kids in English and math.

... I feel... oncoming dread.

They didn't give us a lesson,plan or anything. Were supposed to just help them learn where they're stuck in their lessons. And then on Friday we'll have a trip to the museum of science and industry.

I was the only one in our group that had ever encountered a Muslim to know that Friday was their holy day. And that was when I realized that it was a conversion tactic. I asked her about it like... 'is Friday really a good time to do that?' And she was like 'well, it's the last day you'll be here and we want to celebrate don't we?'

And I was livid, but I was in a different country with a bunch of people who believed this woman's lies. And I didn't say anything to my friends because I was already kind of an outcast there, no one was going to believe me.

So I held my tongue, but from then on I lost a lot of respect for Christian-run charities and even now I'll always be looking for their angle.

[zenithpng]

Five times Cherry reassures Langa he's allowed to participate in his own culture, and one time Langa returns the favour.

Read on AO3 or under the cut.

“Nebuta festival is next weekend,” mutters Reki.

Much, much later, Langa will realize that this is where everything started. But at the moment he’s blissfully unaware and simply listens to Reki ramble about how pretty and colourful the festival has been in past years. It’s lively, with Joe passing food around the table they’re seated at. Miya listens with all the interest of a dozing cat and Cherry only lends half an ear, typing away on his computer, but there’s little comments and jokes passed around anyway, and before long they’re all planning to meet up there.

“Does everyone have a yukata they can wear?” Joe asks last minute, as everyone is gathering their things. Everyone nods, words of assurance thrown in.

Langa's the only one that hesitates.

Does the yukata from a few years ago still fit him? He's not sure how much he's grown since then, and well, the thing had already been snug on him. But maybe it he wraps it a little looser and keeps it pulled down...

"Langa?" He looks up at Joe questioningly. "Everything all right?" Langa fidgets for a moment, one hand going up to tug at the hair at the base of his neck.

"I'll... need to look," he finally answers. "To see if I have one, I mean. It's been a few years." The groups nods again, understandingly. There wasn't much use for traditional clothes in Canada, and they were a bit difficult to acquire. Until Langa moved, his only real source of Japanese clothing was visiting relatives.

Cherry speaks then, surprising him.

"I can help you get what you need."

And well, he's not about to pass up this opportunity. Cherry knows what he's doing, will make sure everything fits perfectly and lays nicely. And besides, it's rare for Cherry to offer help so freely. So, of course, Langa looks up and smiles.

"That would be really amazing," he says, grateful. "Thanks, Cherry."

Okay, so maybe he should have expected this. Cherry is the most precise perfectionist Langa knows, and it shows in everything they do. And yes, Cherry's only trying to find the best clothes they can but does the exact shade of blue really matter?

Langa's not complaining about the time it's taking, per say. He rather enjoys being in the little shop, and the soft fabric of each yukata he tries on feels lovely against his skin. He feels comfortable here, a feeling of I'm home, I'm home, I'm home washing over him with every breath. He mimics Cherry's smooth motions with unpracticed hands, wrapping the fabric here, tying and fastening it there. Before long his hands move as if he's been doing this all his life, as if he was born to wear these clothes.

He catches Cherry's elusive smile many times that day, when he tries on a yukata he particularly likes, when he ties it correctly for the first time. A little rush of pride fills him each time.

Finally, there's one that meets Cherry's standards.

It's a deep blue, silver embroidery creeping up the side and the bottoms of the sleeves. Langa twists and turns in front of the mirror, watching the way the yukata sways and folds with his movements with a breathless smile on his face. Cherry nods in approval, standing from their chair in order to get a closer look.

"We'll take this one," they say, reaching into their pocket to pay. Langa's eyes widen, and he shakes his head.

"You really don't have to pay for it," he insists, scrambling for his own wallet. Cherry frowns.

"Nonsense. You're a child, and I have funds to spare." There's a note of finality in their tone and they turn to the counter. "I will be paying."

Reki's mother drives Langa along with her own son, with strict orders not to dirty their nice clothes and a threat to take their skateboards for a month if they come back dirty. Reki and Langa are not stupid, so they take the instructions to heart to be sure they do not deal with a mother's wrath.

Miya is there already, tongue peeking out in concentration as their thumbs move across the controls of their phone game. Reki runs ahead to grab them from behind and it only takes seconds for both to start yelling, Miya with the threat to bite and Reki in an attempt to protect himself. Langa turns to Masae with a small smile.

"Thank you for driving us," he says with a grateful incline of his head. She smiles brightly.

"It's no problem, Langa," she replies. "Have fun!"

Cherry and Joe arrive next, followed closely by Shadow. Reki and Miya are consulting the map they've been provided with, chattering about where they want to go and see and what time they should do everything. Joe's got an arm slung over both of them, brows furrowed in concentration as he tries to remember all they say. Shadow's looking at something on his phone, and Cherry is simply looking around, fan in hand as his eyes scan over their surroundings.

It's loud and lively and cheery and-

And Langa feels like he's going to throw up.

The comfort he felt during the preparations is gone, washed away by a river of I don't belong here. He feels like an imposter in his very own skin. It's the same feeling as walking into the wrong classroom multiplied by a thousand. His hands go to the edges of his sleeves and his eyes duck down to the ground, because he's not welcome here, he can feel it in the air.

He startles slightly when a hand touches his shoulder, looking up to meet Cherry's eyes. There's a moment that passes at they just stand there, sharp gold eyes searching his expression as expertly as they search lines of code.

"I'm going to take Langa elsewhere," Cherry announces. "There are things I want to show him, as it is his first time at the festival."

No one questions the motive. It's understandable, after all. Cherry has always been the most knowledgeable about cultural matters and therefore is the best to show Langa around for the first time.

"See you later!" Reki waves, smiling widely. Langa nods, offering a tight smile of his own.

"So," Cherry begins, arms folded and expression severe. "What is bothering you?" Langa digs his nails into his arms, taking a shaky breath.

"Are you-" Hesitation, deep breath, start over. "Are you sure it's okay for me to be here?" Cherry looks mildly confused.

"Why do you ask?"

And the floodgates open.

Langa spills his worries like never before. Not Japanese enough, not knowledgeable enough, he's probably doing something wrong and disrespecting something or someone and he's never been connected to the culture before so why should he be allowed to connect with it now. He's a half-Japanese kid from Canada with his speech tinged, ruined by an English accent and... and...

He's crying. God, why is he crying?

But Cherry's right there, pressing Langa's face into his shoulder, arms going around Langa's back to hold him tightly.

"Of course you're allowed, Langa," he says, voice low as he rubs circles into Langa's shoulder with this thumb. Cherry pulls back to look Langa in the eye.

"There are tourists here," he begins. "Do you believe they should leave?" Langa shakes his head, rubbing at his face to dry his tears. "Then why should you? Are you not more connected to this festival – to this country than they are?"

And Langa knows this but to hear someone say it out loud? Someone like Cherry especially? It feels good. It feels like someone is seeing him for the first time in his life. He almost starts crying again.

This time it's Langa initiating the hug, throwing his arms around Cherry. The elder jumps a bit, not having expected the embrace. After a moment however, he relaxes, letting his arms settle around Langa's shoulders.

"We should find the others," Cherry says after a moment. "There is still much for you to see."