#not sure if anybody here has something to say because I tend to attract ppl not interested in ships to begin with

[katyspersonal]

Speaking of crossover ships between different Soulsborne games, which one(s) do you guys like if any? There are some more apparent ones like shipping iconic female bosses together, and iirc Malenia x Gwynevere became popular, stuff like this! Or some characters in a crossover ship being a similar trope? Or maybe you have a completely obscure ones? Or based not on similarities but on personal headcanons? Or even a joke/crack ship? Everything would be interesting and I'd like to know!

[daggery]

Jaylos + Evie's knife purse 👀

(this kinda turned into jay/carlos/evie)

so none of the core four know exactly when evie started to collect knives in her knife purse. for as long as any of them have remembered, it's just always been one of her things. also evie is very fussy and protective over it, the knives are her babies okay :) so she doesnt let anyone really handle it except for her

SO. here is something that would probably take place sometime when the core four are newish friends, so the knife purse is still a thing of Great Interest to them. jay and carlos play a game that's basically that game where you guess how many jellybeans are in a jar and whoever is closer to the real answer is correct. the struggle would be like.. first of all their only real glimpse of the knives would be whenever evie opens it briefly to take out a knife and then she closes it back up. second of all, at this point she hasn't collected enough for the purse to be stuffed so there are no useful hints there.

jay and carlos mostly pick a random number. because the REAL fun is trying to actually find out the real number of knives in the purse that evie will not let anybody else touch. also nobody knows where evies stashes the purse when she isn't using it. jay's like PFTT i'm a thief, lemme just turn on the charm and she will hand that thing right over. next time they're in the hideout and evie's got her purse of knives and cleaning them or smth, and jay goes up to her like ;). TWO SECONDS LATER evie is up on her feet and has a knife pointed an inch away from his throat because wow jay, she literally had an entire arsenal of knives on her lap, what did you THINK was gonna happen. evie's like "oh darling, no, i know what you're trying to do <3" all artificially sweet and carlos is in the back unapologetically screaming in laughter at jay's epic fail

later when they're off hanging out alone, jay and carlos continue to bond over their intense desire to count all of the knives in evie's purse. her secrecy has only made them more curious. jay puts carlos into a headlock and carlos starts squawking like "what the HELL did i DO >:((" and jay's like "this is how i cope with failure :'(" carlos's like "ok true" and then he wiggles out and kicks jay in the shin and he's like "this is how i cope." after they get out their mutual "must annoy the other guy to no particular end at least once per day" energy, they get into their more productive planning mode, by which i mean they just walk along the side of a dirt road and brainstorm ideas on the fly and bounce them off one another while also getting distracted by something shiny they see every five minutes.

eventually they cook up a plan that heavily relies on carlos's ability to distract evie bc they are pretttyyyyy sure that she has a softer spot for him. unfortunately they underestimate how on point evie's bullshit sensor is and carlos finds himself in the exact same knife-to-throat position as jay. jay finds himself in the exact same position as carlos from before, where he is laughing his butt off from where he is hiding from view just around the corner.

carlos and jay go on another walk alongside the road, but their plans do not work out ever. knife purse mystery remains a mystery to this day :) instead they just cope together over the Despair of never finding out how many figurative jellybeans evie has in the purse. they may or may not acknowledge how it is lowkey attractive when evie is feeling all dangerous and knife-y

also i mentioned how unlike evie with her showy purse, jay likes to surprise bad guys by randomly jabbing at a knife at their face that he seemingly pulled out of thin air; every knife he uses is a surprise! anyways... jay is like "carlos, it's like the way ur our surprise :)" referring to the way that ppl tend to think carlos's the weak link of the group but the core four know that he's actually very smart and capable and someone to watch out for.. but ppl dont know they should doing that..... :) at this, carlos is like “?????????!!!!!!!!!!” in that way you feel when someone you like says something neat abt you, like “wow you actually think about me???” (also on the flip side, does this make mal the Obvious Purse of Knives?? basically she's capable and LOUD abt it. hmm weird metaphor here but the basic idea behind it is something i've just realized i've thought about to some length before.. but that is for another post!)

hmmm okay that’s what i have in me right now! this is sooo wordy but i do not have the strength in me to reread it and make it concise lmao. but THANK YOU for the ask <333

send me a ship + a word for a headcanon!

[aro-culture-is]

I don't know if I'm aroace or just a late bloomer (I'm 16), because I don't think? at least? that I've experienced actual attraction, but I also haven't met that much people in my life and I think that I probably haven't been attracted to anybody because of that. I'll go to a new school in a couple of months, which is a great oportunity to explore myself and meet new people, but the questioning is making me impatient and I fear that it will end up confusing me even more. 1/2

I've also only had one "crush" in my entire life (2 years ago) on a close friend, but it lasted less than ~6 months and it eventually faded after they rejected me, so I don't know if that means anything. All of this is kinda starting to get to my mental health (even more due to... this whole situation these past months) and even if I tell myself that it's okay to give myself time, I still have the need for an answer. It sucks. 2/2

--

okay, so i’m going to start with a phrase you probably hear from a lot of adults in what can seem like a dismissive way, but i promise i’m saying this genuinely.

it is genuinely okay not to know. by that, i mean: you think you haven’t experienced attraction, and that’s got a name. you seem to like that name and probably resonate with the communities that the label “aroace” connects you to. i doubt you’d know of my blog otherwise. as such, i’m just going to throw this out there: not knowing doesn’t mean you can’t use the label, or that you were “wrong” if you later change that label. you are allowed to say, even just to yourself, “I am aroace” and decide later if that’s still something that feels good.

for reference on that, I’m 20. When I was ~13 I started identifying as asexual. I don’t identify as such any more, but I do still say that aroace me was correct. I was, for all of my awareness, aromantic and asexual. Me not using that term anymore doesn’t mean I was wrong about my experiences then, and even if I were to decide now that I experienced sexual attraction during that time, that would be okay. I was aroace then, and I’m not now. Phases aren’t a bad thing. I’m not sure if it feels overused to you, but the statement that even the moon has phases, and the whole “Show me a permanent phase of self, mom” post absolutely defines my current view of identity.

(and, a side note: that post was living in 3020. I definitely was questioning my aroace identity at the time, and it struck a very personal note)

further note though: from my experience, a lot of allosexual ppl tend to experience sexual attraction for the first time to fictional characters and/or celebrities via media of them. i understand this is not as much the case for romantic attraction, but i do just want to put it out there that if that’s also not happened, i would be unsurprised if you are at least ace-spec.

finally, the “crush”. you’re using scare quotes, so i’m not sure what you experienced, but I can tell you this: you are allowed to feel the way you feel right now. it doesn’t matter if you ultimately agree with your assessment. let yourself use the labels you want to. it’s okay. again, phases aren’t bad. if you talk in the future about “when I was aroace” or “when I identified as aroace”, that is okay. you lived as you felt, you didn’t deny yourself the comfort of a community, and you’re here, now, as you are.

I know that mental health is a struggle right now, and that absorbing this all might be hard. When my mental health has suffered, I struggle to accept how I’m feeling and to not try to feel something more “correctly”. In all honesty, if you can’t access a therapist or a trusted adult or even a trusted peer to talk about this, try to do something that brings you release. I would suggest doing something artistic, if you can. Maybe making playlists around how you feel each month, writing a blatant self-projection oc (i’ve heard it’s quite cathartic), journalling, drawing, painting... anything, really. give yourself room to breathe. you don’t have to readjust your view of yourself all at once. life is tricky right now, and you have permission to lessen the load on yourself.

good luck, anon.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

people really out here drawing will roland's characters to be more conventionally attractive. like huh? like they think he's not as likable if he's not up to perfect eurocentric beauty standards. draw his nose and glasses and muffin top you cowards! and then they claim it's just their "style" when they're really just refusing to practice variety. and also that's one reason i like your art, you have a nice style that's specific to you while staying true to character design and expressing variety

yeah really like we were just talking about how even when ppl seem to be basing their jared largely on will, it’s relatively rare to see those versions of jared that like....really particularly resemble him or any other actors and don’t change up his features so much that it’s basically just like....sort of nondescript white guy with brown hair and glasses like. whomst.

i mean, there’s the disclaimers like how really there’s no requirement to be basing your design on any actual actor and nothing that says you can’t use actors as just Loose Inspiration and change things up however (though even that’s like, probably you need to use some judgment, i.e. for characters where some aspect of their appearance affects the story/character, and also if you’re gonna do something like make a character played by actors of color white: why) and like a lot of the time you could even invent the appearance entirely from your own imagination if you want

but still most people are obviously basing how they draw jared in the way he appears as the play and like, since will roland did it first and for years and basically the whole costume is just right from his own outfits it’s like........yeah nobody can pretend he’s not gonna impact anybody’s ideas of What Jared Looks Like and, even if they went off and uh Reinterpret the look of the character in another way, he was probably also plenty of other people’s Starting Point in terms of how they imagine jared to look......And Yet so often like. the way people draw jared makes it seem like it might as well have been someone totally different. like yknow feel free to make changes but a) it’s weird that this one character can be sort of detached from any particular Visual Source and also b) okay why is like, everyone deciding to make changes so that Jareds That Look All That Much Like William are definitely in the minority and c) why are the changes being made all like.......towards being Nondescript Conventional Attractiveness

like, the time i tweeted out “is the character sympathetic or do you just consider the actor to be hot” i was entirely thinking of will playing jared and how like, despite all the seniors being super similar and really at least as sympathetic as evan, jared and alana kind of get ignored or even treated as antagonistic to evan and/or less important/complex/sympathetic and like......okay so people don’t think jared’s cute if he looks like will roland and alana is played by a black actress and i’m just taking notes is all....just taking notes.....mm......

and yknow at least with will originating the role like, people seem to be more aware that they owe him their entire lives, but now that he’s taking over a role from a guy that plenty of people Considered More Attractive......suddenly he can’t act or sing and was alone hired for clout which, yknow, we’ve been through dismantling this wild idea lmao but like. if it had been will roland in 1.0 and wconn in 2.0/3.0 we KNOW that there wouldn’t be this contempt over the change lmao we knowwww this

and like seriously there is No Such Thing as any sort of person’s physical features not “fitting” with an artist’s Style or Aesthetic or whatever...it just means they’re unwilling to draw features that look like that. like yeah sure, it’s a factor that you might be more used to / practiced drawing [physical trait] a certain specific “default” way and so if you try something else it won’t be as Good, but that’s like, not an excuse to refuse to draw a certain kind of appearance, Especially if you’re gonna be drawing a specific person/character and then really change up parts of their appearance in a way that just so happens to be more Conventionally Attractive according to the standards of racism and fatphobia and the general shittiness that dictates what’s attractive or not because that’s an entirely subjective thing and the Standards Of Beauty vary a lot from culture to culture and like. changing up traits because you think it’s too ugly as-is is always a crap idea is the point

like, i saw fanart for deh before i actually saw content from the show, and as soon as i hit on some fanart that draw jared as Not actually being all thin i was like oh man this means the actor isn’t actually thin doesn’t it lol....cuz even if it’s just like 5-10% of the fanart depicting him that way it’s like, yeah, okay, that’s the kind of proportion you might expect to see. because like, okay plenty of people are like ugh i don’t wanna draw fat people, but drawing a body type like will roland’s as jared is Really not asking a lot. which like, clearly yknow, plenty of people are like eh it’s not that big of a difference if I Draw Him Lean...which like! yeah exactly it’s not that much of a difference so you might as well draw him with that muffin top 8 times a week spillin outta some fancy emily rebholz-chosen shorts!! i’m sure some people just like, may truly have not been aware of said all-important muffin top because you know. it’s overlookable? but i’m not letting Most Others get away with their conscious slimming down of the character. which nobody has any good excuse for wanting to do

meanwhile his nose gets changed almost as often as in, god it is a beautiful occasion where i see someone draw it at all like william’s like. please. really like this is something that comes up so often where even if people are drawing like, the equivalent of stick figures, i.e. just drawing a Neutral Abstract Person, it’s probably not all that neutral, in terms of like oh everyone has the exact same shape and thickness to their body, and if they’re drawing noses it tends to be like.....the Default is generally this concave-ridged, narrow, pointed deal and it’s like mmmmm. the idea that noses can’t be too wide or long or rounded or anything is definitely Standards Of Whiteness and then how you have the pervasive idea that a downturned nose w/ a convex profile is Ugly and signifies that the person is Bad is a specifically deeply anti-semitic one.....like god that feels like the truly rarest thing off all to see when people draw jared. it’s definitely not that damn hard. why does everyone ever feel the need to change his nose completely!! this is not rhetorical b/c the answer is Known. we knowwww

and then P.S. it’s like hey bastards..........you wanna draw a skinny jared look who’s right over there......why it’s actor sky lakota-lynch!!! Feel Free Anytime

[saigebeaumont]

- ̗̀ * ( robert sheehan + cismale + he/him ) have you seen ( benjamin ‘benjy’ magwitch ) walking around campus ? they are a ( twenty-three ) year old, studying ( political science ). we hear they are in ( rho pi rho ), and can be ( magnetic & irresponsible ), maybe it’s because they are a ( leo ). they sort of remind us of ( shiny red apples, walking on ledges, kaleidoscopes ), maybe we can find out more ! ( james + 19 + est + they/she ) *  ̖́-  + theatre/track

hi hello as u may have seen my name is james and this is my baby, benjy. i dont know how long this is going to get so pls bare with me

tw; fire? 

gen. info

full name: benjamin ‘benjy’ henry magwitch / joshua hollowood but u will never catch him actually using his real name tbqh

nickname(s): think of a random name. any century, any gender, any amount of letters or lack thereof. that’s it that’s his nickname. previous aliases that he has claimed to be are - thaddeus, balthazar, dante, romulus, etc., etc.

b.o.d. - july 31st, age 23

label(s): the icarian, the blackhole, the insouciant, etc. etc.

height: tall

hometown: ???

sexuality: chaotically bisexual

bio. info

let’s try and make this short n sweet

so like. y’know when a faerie steals a human baby and replaces it with it’s own, weaker, inferior baby? benjy is the human baby in this case

except they weren’t faeries

dorothea and fawley were two...somewhat, in love, folks--who had really wanted to have a child of their own. when they did, finally, have their child--he was very sickly and small and neither of them wanted their child to be weak goddammit

so they did a switcharoo, like...switched at birth except i’ve never ever seen switched at birth, and ran off with this extremely rich family’s newborn baby instead!

dorothea and fawley were part of a circus, and thus, lil benjy was raised in a circus !! how cute.

needless to say he was raised in a very nontraditional setting, like, homeboy was homeschooled bc they were literally always travelling, around the country and once or twice out of country.

despite that, he never doubted that his circus family didn’t love him or anything like ?? yeah he never called his ‘parents’ mom or dad, but that’s bc it was like...everyone was his parent.

dorothea and fawley told benjy that his name will never define him, and he could be anyone or anything he wants to be.

this caused a tiny benjy to be CONSTANTLY changing his name. like, almost everyday he’d just declare a new name and everybody in the circus would call him that specific name. even when he did acts, he’d go by a different name every single time

this carried onto adulthood and benjy still doesn’t tell people his real name very often. sometimes they’re sort of normal names n other times they’re fucking bizarre.

when he was seven he declared his name was ‘sock’ for an entire month.

grew up doing a buncha odd lil jobs and roles in the circus, from being a lil handyman like fawley to being a magician’s assistant like dorothea. t’was a lil tiny animal tamer (before the circus stopped using animals in their acts because we don’t stan circuses like that no we do NOT) at some point but reeeaaally liked tightrope walking and things as such

also tried his hand at fire-throwing/etc. etc. but the like eighteen (minor!) burn scars across his body will tell u that it was not for him and he gave it up to pursue knife throwing tricks and juggling

wasn’t rly ever around ppl his own age, also never had a smartphone before he was like eighteen or so--he’s not old fashioned but he can definitely be behind on the times

also grew up listening to primarily older rock/folk music/whatever the fuck music his family created/his own music

that being said benjy is good w a guitar but bitch cannot sing. he sounds like a dying frog.

he also did a bunch of petty theft but that’s bc some of the other folk in the circus did it and he was like huh. looks like fun. bc benjy is thoroughly an idiot but more on that later. so he got some shit on his record but he got them sealed when he turned 18, like, asap

but. benjy is a dumbass. he committed ANOTHER petty crime, because the boy has addictive qualities, and he left some dna evidence bc boy’s got some mf hair

surprisingly, it wasn’t through his records that they found him via his dna  but, rather, his real parents who did a whole ass dna kit thing for fun one day

this came as a shock to everybody involved, honestly, though tbh ? benjy didn’t care that much that he had parents who weren’t the circus, but that’s bc of his entire upbringing.

either way his birth parents wanted to like. y’know. meet their delinquent biological son and when they did they were like ‘woah woah woah wtf ur in a circus’ and he was like haha yeah

n that was...sort of it, for a while. benjy was 18, had his GED, n wasn’t planning on going to college at all.

the circus was still traveling, the world was all right, etc. etc, benjy maintained contact with his bio parents bc it was Polite to do

and then the circus burned down! somebody did a flaming knife trick when they weren’t supposed to and, long story short--the entire circus went up in flames. there were no victims, no worries, but their entire livelihood was gone and they were all effectively displaced.

when his Rich Biological Parents found out about benjy’s newfound predicament that he 100% was not responsible for whatsoever, they were like . . . . listen. we’ve got a Reputation to uphold, but we’ll send you to college.

he’s been here since he was like, 21, so he’s a junior i think ??

he’s majoring in political science but it’s like technically his first year as the major bc his freshmen yr he wanted to do anthropology and then he switched to mathematics and homeboy was nvr satisfied but now he thinks he wants to do smth w social welfare so he’s doing political science w theatre and public affairs as minors

personality

he’s got. a big personality

he’s got this sort of energy that attracts others but they don’t really know why bc holy shit benjy can be annoying

he’s just super intense ?? like the boy does not know how to calm down, he’s constantly moving around and being dramatic and sometimes whiny

pouts more than a person should averagely pouts

i wouldn’t call him a liar because he can be, very very blunt, and doesn’t know how to beat around the bush, but he likes telling half-truths simply to either confuse others or to just b a lil bitch tbh

he’s got big dumbass energy like okay he’s smart he just doesn’t apply himself very often and he just. does dumb things

gets into fights bc he’s a dumbass. like. he will purposely provoke ppl he doesn’t like, n when he’s drunk he’ll do it to literally anybody esp ppl he likes

also just. doesn’t know when to stop talking. can find ways to ramble about nothing, asks questions w the intent of being annoying, etc. etc.

his ~parents~ didn’t rly believe in modern medicine n they were just like ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away!’ so he’s got this obsession w apples. literally is always chewing on an apple or a toothpick or anything he can get his hands on. he’s like a teething toddler, essentially

probably the dumbass who plays wonderwall at a party tbh

okay but fun fact! he’s super nimble and just. cat-like, from all his yrs of practicing n performing tightrope walking. if he falls over it’s because he wants to fall over and if he falls over it’s bc he wants ATTENTION

he loves. being the center of attention? but he’s also content with being in the background if it makes sense. he just wants to be doing something, anything

anyways he doesn’t take shit seriously at all like, i don’t think he’s ever had a serious conversation in his life ?

big slut for parties. he loves partying, he nvr knew he loved partying until he went to ucla but he loves it

he’s got an addictive personality so like okay. he’s not Addicted Addicted to anything specific (besides nicotine) but he definitely has no problem with drinking n doing drugs Often.

i mean he’s reckless too he never knows when to stop, feels like he’s tryn to be the Superior boy but he’s not and he’s probably overcompensating nowadays to deal w the guilt of accidentally burning down his entire life

drives cars too fast, drinks too much, has no problem getting into heavier drugs

also okay on a lighter note the boy used to be addicted to cigarettes bc he started fairly young but hoo boy he’s now on that juul game

literally he always has a juul on him. spends all his money on juuls

he works as a florist n a gardener for extra cash even tho his bio parents send him money, just bc its one of the only things that really calm him down tbh ??

also i meant it when i said he doesnt tell ppl his real name, like, ever. at least his first name bc he loves his last name but ? u probably dont know him as benjamin or even benjy, just smth stupid like marcellus the magnificent or booboo the fool hahahsdfgh

did i mention he casually juggles bc i genuinely cannot remember lmao

uuuhh there’s more i’m sure but !! i have a really bad memory!

i also dunno if im keeping his fc but we will SEE

he’s basically like....still a five yr old child

OH okay so i remembered smth else

he’s essentially a nomad which means he hates being rooted to ucla so he’s usually off drivin’ around the coast bc he’s bored goddammit but he always comes back bc he’s a loyal dog

speaking of loyal dogs. he’s got commitment issues. but not commitment issues? it’s sort of like. he gets really interested in things/people, kind of focuses all his energy on that thing or person, and then one day wakes up and is just. terribly bored. tends to drop ppl like that, esp relationships, and he doesn’t think much of it bc it’s Normal for him

but believe it or not, if u call him in the middle of the night he WILL show up, or if u wrong him instead of him wronging u, he’ll still b endlessly loyal

like he’s shitty but he’s got a heart ?

also like i said. he is chaotically bi. both chaotic and bisexual and also the two combined.

he’s chaotic neutral in general

wanted connections ?? possibly ??

frat bros - [hulk hogan voice] brother. he needs them

general friends ! - if u dont hate him then u just. love him, man. no inbetween

exes - he’s probably got...a few of these, because his attention span lasts like a max of two weeks

hookups - they also dont tend to last very long just bc of how he is as a person, but y’know. they good while they last

ex-hookups, specifically

ex-friends - bc he’s an idiot

if u really want to u can bring in a circus pal but firstly idk how they’d afford school but honestly. we can work smth out. hmu [kissy face]

roommate - do they hate each other ?? who knows

bad influence - they only egg on benjy’s dumbass behavior

good influence - probably forces him to study for once, or take care of his dumb ass

idk what to call it but like. ppl who HE eggs on to be bad, is generally toxic to the other person

anything else u want [another kissy face]