#not sure cole sleeps...maybe if you make him human lol

[diamondcitydarlin]

Nap time :3

[m-aster-of-spinjitzu]

the hues of an empty sky

Missing memories, or having two of them for one moment - not quite the same, but if there's one thing Jay's leant over the last few weeks, it's that literally nothing makes sense anymore.

Or, some Skybound aftermath, Zane actually expressing emotions about his memory switch being turned off for all those years, and what was supposed to be a 'they tell everyone about the erased timeline' fic, but it turned into a 'two characters who barely interact on screen talk at like one am in the morning, and don't actually tell the other what exactly they're alluding to the whole time' fic that I wrote at like one am- 

Also yeah, I realized too late that they split up to look for Wu after s7, we’re just gonna pretend that they waited a few days or something, idk anymore tbh, lol.

(I also didn't have time to edit - so please tell me where the typos are? 😂💛)

Word count: 4539

Prompt: crying, from @ninjago-bingo 's warm board.

Trigger warnings: the main character has a panic attack, and squeezes their fingernails into their hands once or twice but I think that's it.

*facepalms* also, guys, i’m so stupid - i literally just realized that this freaking CHANGES TENSE HALFWAY OHMYGOSH I-  i don’t think it’s super noticeable, but ugh, apologies to anyone who actually thought my writing was good lol-

---

It's cold.

Bitterly, freezing cold.

The biting chill of the air is a bit strange for this time of year, but, heck, that's nowhere near the craziest thing that's ever happened to him - not by a long shot.

He sighs, squinting at the stars dotted liberally against the black canvas of the sky.

Cole had once joked that one of them might be the remains of their golden weapons, after they'd hurled the burning mass into the sky - in another alternate timeline; one that only existed in the memories of a certain few.

Gosh - that seemed like such a long time ago.

Wouldn't it be nice to go back to that time, when he'd still thought that their powers were the coolest thing ever - instead of despising them for all the responsibility and sacrifice that came with them? When one of his biggest worries was whether the girl he had a crush on liked him back - not wondering if his friends would survive the night?

"I did not expect to find you awake at this hour, Jay."

Reflexivity, he jumps back, his mind twisting his friend's gentle voice into the- the djin's triumphant, accented one.

You're supposed to be a ninja. What good are you if your friends can still sneak up on you?

"Geez, warn a guy before you sneak up on him! I almost fell off the Bounty!"

"My apologies. I was... surprised to find you awake at this hour," Zane answers. "What are you doing?" "Couldn't sleep. It's too cold," he confesses, not entirely a lie. Ninjago wasn't 'that' far from the Sea of Sand, but he'd grown up in a much warmer area - unfortunately resulting in his practically nonexistent tolerance to the cold. That never failed to stop Kai from teasing him about it, though. He doesn't mention the pressing weight on his chest, almost tangible - or how it constantly makes him feel. Like he's being dragged through the darkness of an empty sky, spikes of fear making everything so freaking terrifying- "You?"

"I have been analyzing my memories of Pixal, in the hope that it may lead me to her whereabouts. However, all my efforts have proved... unsuccessful," Zane answers wearily, shifting his gaze to the sky.

Oh- oh. They'd all be so caught up in the chaos of the last few weeks - hey, it's not like any of them had asked the universe to permanently be out to get them! - that they'd forgotten Pixal was still offline.

"Hey, I'm sure that she's still there somewhere," he says, earnestly. "After all - she wouldn't be your girlfriend if she didn't pull a vanishing act every now and again, eh?"

The question is punctuated with a laugh, but he doesn't say that he's a little worried about her too. They hadn't talked much, but-

I can't see one of my best friends find out that his girlfriend is dead, a quiet voice at the back of his mind points out. Well - been there, done that, wouldn't recommend, he thinks bitterly. Emotional breakdowns and frequent nightmares apply. Anxiety attacks are half off, too!

It's quiet for a few minutes, neither of them seeing a need to break the silence. The wind blows softly through the sails above them; gray wisps of cloud revealing a pale sliver of moonlight that paints the sky in its glow.

It should be a peaceful night: beautiful, calm, no one trying to kill them or destroy their city - for a change.

His hands won't stop shaking.

It should be a peaceful night, but, as usual, the world is too freaking unfair for that-

He hasn't even slept for a full night in weeks! Well, not since- since-

Don't think about it! That's only going to make it worse, duh-

"Are you alright, Jay?"

"Yeah- I- I'm good, thanks," he says quickly, ignoring the way his breathing keeps speeding up. FSM, not this-

Not for the first time, the world suddenly becomes too loud - too much. Every little thing, from trying to breathe properly or even walk- feels insurmountable, because, gosh, oh gosh, it's going to come crashing down if he even moves-

The memory starts off the same as it always does.

Rubble strewn over the temple grounds, his friends literally reduced to nothing more than statues. A shot that hit the mark perfectly, but perfectly shattered his world in the process.

A poison-splattered dress, a terrifying realization.

Her well-aimed joke, but one that never fails to sting every time. Gosh, why hadn't they just allowed her to join their team in the first place? Maybe they could've prevented this- this- whole situation, if they hadn't been so freaking egotistical-

And, again, he's overwhelmed by the sheer sense of helplessness, all his power and training and skills completely useless to one of the people he cared most about. FSM, if only I hadn't used my first w-request so carelessly! If only I'd been able to escape- or, or if only I'd been able to assemble the team faster! If only-

Despite being in what must've been unimaginable pain, she offers a strained smile - a sweet gesture that, ironically, feels like she's poisoning him, because- because FSM, this is all so wrong, it wasn't supposed to end like this-

He watches with horror as her eyes dull and she stills in his arms.

She's gone, FSM, she's gone and it's all my fault-

"Jay?" a voice asks, concern evident in their tone. Distantly, he registers that he's having a breakdown in front of one of his best friends - one of the things he'd been trying really hard to avoid.

Dang it.

"I-" he tries to say, but, great, he's breathing too fast to even get the stupid words out.

"Breathe in for four seconds," Zane says, softly.

Four seconds? Time has no meaning right now, narrowed down to, like - falling down a chasm, terrified of what's at the bottom, except the fear's all around, this- this... foreboding thing of his mind that keeps yelling that he needs to run, or fight, but he can't, can't-

Right. Four seconds.

You're okay, you're fine, no one's trying to hurt you or your friends. She's not dead.

But what if- what if they're being dragged out of this ship right now? What if it was all a dream, and she's dead anyway, because all of us were too stupid to come up with another plan, and none of us could even do anything when she-

After a little while, when he could breathe a little easier, and the fear didn't feel like it was slamming into him from every possible direction, he slowly opened his eyes. Shakily, he wiped a tear from his face - as if that would wipe away all the weeks that had, theoretically, never even freaking happened.

The sky comes back into focus - pinpricks of light against pitch black. 

How was he going to come up with some sorta explanation without... well, explaining everything?

Great.

My nerves are frayed, and I have to lie to a walking lie detector - what could possibly go wrong?

"Are you alright?" Zane asks, his brows creased in concern.

"Heh heh, yeah. Probably just too many video games," he replies quickly, laughter a bit strained.

"You were muttering to yourself," his friend replies quietly. Ugh, trust the way-too-observant-nindroid to call him out on the remains of his facade. "If you do not mind me asking, what was 'all your fault'? I am sure that it was probably a misunderstanding."

You're the one who misunderstands everything, he thinks wearily, ignoring the part of him that yearns to tell someone else about... well, everything that's happened because of that stupid teapot. He's not one to keep secrets by nature, and it's been taking a bigger toll of him than he'd thought it would. Is this how Nya felt when she was still the Samurai? "It's- it's nothing, probably just nonsense."

"Are you sure? You seem... quite worried about something."

Dang it, were his hands still shaking? He presses his fingernails into his palms, squeezing his eyes shut for a second.

He's talking to one of his best friends, FSM. Weren't friends able to tell each other anything?

"Do you think it's easier to forget? Better?"

He didn't even realize he'd asked a question until Zane's eyes widened in surprise.

A forest coated in snow, ice crystals dangling from the tree branches above their heads. Plenty of screaming - way too much, he reflects, couldn't they have been a bit nicer? It must've been pretty jarring to learn that you weren't human, or that your father had erased years of your life from your mind - in that weird underground treehouse. Those crazy tree monsters - and the realization that they all had much more power than they'd thought.

"N- nevermind," he stutters, fleetingly thinking of kicking the deck. "That's way too personal, you don't have to answer it-"

"I do not mind," Zane says, a bit sadly.

Oh.

Heck, his friend was way too nice.

They gaze up at the stars for a few minutes, not really seeing them - one drowning under the weight of too many secrets, the other, too many memories.

It's quiet - too quiet.

Ugh, he thinks, sighing, that sounds like something a low-budget horror movie would start with, cringey sound effects to match.

But the silence is a painful reminder of the days he'd spent tossing and turning in a cramped cell - nothing but his worries and the bruises on his leg from that stupid ball and chain keeping him awake.

He's been trying hard - maybe too hard - to avoid being alone, avoid being in a situation where they've gotta be quiet ever since then, because, dang it, his memories always seem to fill the silence, and they're always far more terrifying than they should be-

It's easier, in a way, to be mocked for his stupid jokes than it is to relive a single moment from those nightmarish few weeks.

Almost reflexively, he grasps for something to fill the quiet.

"Heh, this is a bit awkward. It's okay if you wanna leave-"

"I do not mind," Zane echoes, walking a bit closer. "It is not as if I need to sleep. But... I do not quite know what to think of your question."

There comes the answer - or a semblance of one at least, and it's the last thing he'd been expecting.

"You don't know?" he blurts out before he can even think of trying to filter the thought. Way to treat your friend who's been nothing but kind to you, Jay. "But you're- you're a nindroid! You know everything-"

"Pixal," his friend mutters softly, sighing, and the hurt, the fear, laced through the word makes something in his heart practically twist. He knows all too well what it feels like to be in that situation - even if, technically, it had never happened.

Then- "I wish that were true. But I suppose that my emotions make certain situations much more complicated than... than they need to be. Thus I cannot give my perspective on this - or, at least, without sounding quite conflicted."

"You know that you're allowed to be conflicted, right? Even the coolest Nindroids don't know everything."

"...Yes, I suppose so."

Jay frowns at the almost subconscious hesitation, eyebrows creasing in concern.

"Seriously," he starts earnestly. They're both leaning on one of the railings just above the deck now. "Just 'cause you're a nindroid doesn't mean that you've gotta chase some kind of perfection that doesn't even exist."

He doesn't miss how Zane's eyes widen in shock, their bright blue hue glowing a little brighter - and heck, if that doesn't hurt even more than the earlier realization.

"Besides - it's not like none of us haven't made mistakes before. Hate to go all Wu on ya, but they help us learn or some stupid thing like that. Even if the mistake is trying not to make 'em, you know?"

"Thank you," Zane replies, a tired smile on his face. "Even the most advanced tech is susceptible to error, I suppose."

They've all made lots of mistakes, heaven forbid if one of them is still agonizing over messing up over the crazy situations the universe constantly put them in. It's not like they were told they'd have to face more ancient evil armies than they could count, were they?

Maybe it's time to stop focusing on events that never even happened, and pay more attention to your friends. What's the point of being part of this team if you're always scared or selfish?

"Shut up," he mumbles, rubbing his temples. What's the point of fighting if your own brain is gonna fight you whenever it gets a chance? A few seconds later, he schools his face back into his default anxious grin. "Great, cause I- I- could use your advice on something." "Alright," comes the quiet reply, his friend seemingly lost in thought.

"What if you wanted to tell someone something, but you couldn't?"

His breathing starts to speed up again, but he grips the deck until his fingers are practically bruised, stark white against his tanned skin. Not this time-

"Is this what you were referring to earlier? An event that you blamed yourself for?" Zane asks, eyes flitting between the floor and the sky.

Dang it, way too observant as usual. He masks his surprise with a laugh, but the conversation definitely isn't going as planned and, oh gosh oh gosh, what if-

No, there's no way that any of them would even believe that. Besides - no one can remember stuff that they've forgotten, especially if magic's at play.

"Yeah, kinda," and he's surprised by how steady his voice sounds. It's not easy to even think about that- event, talking about it is a whole different thing. A much more difficult thing, but also - a bit, a little bit, easier. "I-" "Apologies for interrupting," his friend interjects. "I suppose that I have not been entirely honest with you." What?

"A few days ago, I discovered a number of deleted memory files buried deep within my code."

Just like that, his whole world tilts out from underneath him.

It takes every ounce of his strength to keep himself from falling into the abyss again.

Wait, what?

Has he really known for all this time? It's been weeks! Surely he would've said something? It can't be, it never even-

The rational part of his mind points out that he can remember every day of those few weeks. Well, he was the one to make the wish - magical logic is kinda stupid, but maybe that's why he had to remember it or something?

Well then, a small voice interjects, why was Nya cursed to remember everything too?

Of course, even the stupid magical logic doesn't even make sense to the one who caused this whole mess in the first place.

"They were almost entirely corrupted - scrambled in a way that I am not familiar with. However, I did realize that certain files bore dates that have not even occurred yet. I dismissed it as a problem with my code, however..."

Breathe, calm down, it's not like he was able to process them or anything-

We agreed that no one was supposed to know! What if they end up blaming us for keeping it a secret this long, or, or-

"I mean, they could've been-" he starts, but the way in which he's nervously twisting his fingers is a pretty clear indication that he's lying, dang it.

"So when you mentioned that you were unable to tell someone something - did you mean that it was because they had quite literally forgotten about it?"

Great. Fantastic. Of course the literal robot has pieced it together by now-

He squeezes his eyes shut for a minute, hoping that if he ignores the problem, maybe it'll go away.

Okay, fine, maybe he's trying to figure out a way to fix this whole mess. Doesn't mean that he's any closer to coming up with a solution, though.

"Er, yeah," he whispers, shoulders slumped, eyes still firmly shut. Because gosh, he doesn't want to - can't, can't - see the realization dawn that, yeah, he's lied to people he's known for years and years, even though they've all seen way too many times that secrets bring nothing but trouble-

"Well, then - I would say that you don't have to tell them," Zane replies, surprisingly... earnestly? That, or he's either too freaked out to understand the tone properly. Could be either.

He opens his eyes, hesitantly.

And it comes as a bit of a shock to find nothing but concern reflected in his friend's.

The almost persistent weight on his chest feels a little lighter now, like the sky isn't as quite so empty.

Well, it still kinda is. But that doesn't hold as much weight as he'd thought it did - not if one of his friends is willing to look past that; past the heaviness of holding up all those memories with nothing his single star, flickering in and out of the darkness, to try and light the unforgiving darkness of the sky.

"Why?" Jay asks, so quietly he can barely hear it himself. "Don't I owe it to them? Do you?"

"No. Definitely not," comes the reply, so full of conviction that he almost stumbles back. Why-

"My father..."

Oh- oh.

"thought it was better to spare me the pain of mourning him than for me to know who I was," Zane confesses, hesitantly. "Not that I disagree, necessarily. I just..."

He trails off, clutching the railing so hard that the wood almost snaps beneath his titanium fingers.

It takes Jay a little while to realize why - why exactly his friend, who has access to a wealth of knowledge and information, is grasping for an answer. Because- because, well, even if someone does something in your best interests - sometimes the choice isn't always up to them. Or maybe it is, but it was... difficult, to say the least, to let go of the fact that his parents had never told him the truth sooner. Not that he blames them, necessarily - it's not like they knew that his father would pass on before he'd even get the chance to meet him - but... it's confusing, and difficult, not to know why you were left at a junkyard as soon as you were born. Maybe if he'd known that sooner, he could've asked the one person who might've had answers - although it's not like hoping for the past to change will actually change it.

They don't even know that you know, a small voice at the back of his mind points out, and suddenly everything makes a lot more sense-

"You wanted a choice," he breathes, eyes widening. A choice - like one that he'd never been given, one that he stills struggles not to hold against two people who've always had his best interests at heart. Even if they did have the right to withhold that one thing, after all they've done for him - the 'what if's' still echo in his mind far more often than he'd like. "There's nothing wrong with that, even if it feels that way. I kinda get where you're coming from, dude, and it's... super confusing, but I'd be pretty mad if my memories were tampered with like that."

So would anyone, he realizes, heart sinking. Oh, great. Not helping-

"I- I suppose so?" Zane answers, but it sounds more like a question than a reply. "However, in the same vein, it would be unwise for you to give away your choice whilst you still have one." "But don't I owe it to everyone? You just said it, it's horrible to alter people's memories and I- I-" "Did we forget... whatever it was for a good reason? "I- I mean, I guess, but..." "Then you do not owe it to us to relive something that we do not even remember." The words should be a relief - and they kinda are. But some part of him really does want to explain the crazy alternate timeline, and everything that happened in it. It's just... really, really freaking difficult.

"What if- what if I wanted to, though?" Jay asks hysterically, running his hands through his hair in a frenzied sort of way. "And I still couldn't? I just, I-"

He cuts himself off with a bout of forced laughter.

Zane takes a moment to reply, the bright blue light in his eyes flickering - a small tell that he was thinking so deeply, his processors were literally sparking up a bit.

"You queried earlier if it was easier, or better, to forget. And while all situations are different, I suppose it is... well, subjective. What do you think?" Zane asks, softly.

Derailing the conversation a bit, but his friend's obviously smart enough to be leading up to something.

Sure, he'll go along with it.

"I mean, there are some things I'd rather forget, you know? I guess we all know what that feels like," Jay replies, the statement with oddly sad air to it. They're still kids, after all, and it gets a bit exhausting pretending that their superhero lives were all fun and games - when they'd just given him enough grey hair to last then lifetimes, and enough nightmares to keep him from ever getting the normal amount of sleep his mum always prattled on about.

Sleep, heh heh. Practically a foreign concept, now.

"And I know that stuff that happens, like shapes us or something - and Master Wu would probably go off on a whole ramble about why we learn from our mistakes or whatever," he laughs nervously, resisting the urge to just fall headfirst onto the deck of the stupid ship instead of continuing the conversation," and how 'our scars only make us stronger', crap like that, but I just-"

"I'm just really... tired of this," he confesses warily, shoulders slumped. "W- I remember so many horrible things, and I-" he breaks off, laughing bitterly. His voice takes on a sort of brittle quality, way too high pitched, "and I can't even talk about them, dude. If that's not the most pathetic thing ever, I dunno what is."

"It does not-"

"Don't say it," Jay mutters, rubbing his temples. "I know, I know, my feelings aren't pathetic, they're always valid, whatever, spare me the lecture-"

"That is not what I was going to say," Zane replies gently. "It just seems that you have answered your own question."

"Gee, which one?"

"I do not know how much helpful assistance I can provide in this situation, but it is understandable to wish certain events had never occurred. However, seeing as we cannot change the past, it seems unwise to dwell on said events if you can avoid it."

Jay stiffens, clamping a shaky hand over his mouth. Something seems to press down even harder on his chest, a heavy sort of weight that causes his breathing to speed up again. Don't say it don't say it there's no reason to warn them this time-

"If you would like to tell any of us about something, of course you are welcome to. It does not to be the whole story, after all. Just make sure that it is the decision you choose, not one you choose because of what you think how it will affect others," Zane finishes quietly, ducking his head as if he's embarrassed.

The stars are still white-hot, burning away some million miles above them.

"Thanks," he says, and puts his hand softly on Zane's shoulder. "I mean, I know - that all makes sense, I guess. It's just- I-"

"You want to?"

"Yeah," Jay starts, sighing, "I do. It's just- it's not just my choice. And I'm pretty much dying already right now, so, as fantastic as making it all worse sounds, hard pass."

Oops, maybe he shouldn't have said that last bit. They'd agreed not to tell anyone about it - even this conversation was cutting it way too close. It wasn't impossible for them to put everything together - they were a pretty smart group, after all, even without their resident inventor and engineer - and Jay didn't really know what he'd think if they did. Fearful? Relieved? Angry?

"That does... not sound great? Dying certainly does not seem-"

"It's called sarcasm, Zane."

"Oh- yes. My memory now accesses the fact that people often speak in that manner. It does seem a bit counterproductive, though. Why not just say what you mean?"

"Shut it, you have no clue how integral to my life it is," Jay replies with a halfhearted grin.

A few seconds later, he remembers something his friend had mentioned earlier, and the grin disappears.

"You know that you can talk to us if you're not happy, right?" he asks, earnestly. Sure, it's not like he could always do that, considering, well, a stupid djin and even stupider magic, but it's not like he needs to. It's- well- he'll be okay, probably. Maybe. Kinda.

Zane's eyes blink on and off again, blue fading in and out. "I... I suppose that I was not quite aware of that."

Okay, they've screwed up way too many times, but this... this is pretty bad. Dang it, how long does it take for them to throw self-preservation instincts at their friend before he freaking- picks them up or something?

"However, will it not hurt those who have experienced the same unfortunate events?"

Dude, not the best question to ask someone wondering the exact same thing-

"It's been... uh, nice, kind of, talking to you. So- I don't think so, and I'm pretty sure someone would say so if it did. Besides, don't we talk about our adventures all the time? It'd probably be better if we... uh, well- heh heh, nothing."

"If we talked about the less than positive elements of them? Perhaps, but I still-"

Maybe it's the fact Zane has always tried to be there for him, or maybe he's too sleep deprived to care anymore, but this is a way too familiar situation and-

Well, not ignoring the issue would be a start.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we're family, Zane. We care about each other. And, gosh, that means that we care about you too. Memories are stupid and annoying sometimes, but we have to make good ones too, right? To block out the bad ones a bit, I guess? Kinda, at least."

They both look away from the stars now, grappling for something else to say.

In the end, they leave it be with a hug and a fondly exasperated warning about sleeping, if you happen to need it.

After all, they're family. They don't have to be perfect, or tell each other everything - even if it does take them a long time to realize that, and an even longer time remembering it.

---

The next time Jay startles awake from a nightmare, the sky is still empty - painfully so, like an ache that simmers beneath the surface even when it's not able to be seen.

The hue, though, is a little lighter.

Just a little - the all-encompassing darkness of it is now a navy sort of blue, his star shining a little bit brighter.

It's still not sunrise, not even close - but he'll take it. AN: the ‘sky’ mentioned at the start and end is a stupid metaphor that i somehow ended up liking too much to trash, it’s ‘empty’ because he hasn’t told anyone about the timeline, and Nya’s not included because they never had a chance to tell each other everything significant or even talked about it or processed it on screen. so yeah! if you read this,,, not great thing, can i send you a hug or good vibes or smth? tyy🥺

[fanfalc-616]

Next chapter of the Literally Elements AU!! (Sorry it took so long lol)

When Lloyd finds Zane that morning, his scream is loud enough to wake up all the others.

Nothing like going to eat ice cream for breakfast and then finding someone sleeping in the fucking freezer.

Zane sits up in response to his screech, confusion on his face. “Is everything alright?” He questions.

Before the teen has the chance to do anything, Kai’s in the room, sword in hand.

Right. Lloyd kind of forgot that they were all armed.

“What’s wrong?!” The powerless Master of Fire demands, looking around as he tries to locate the threat.

Zane gets out of the freezer, drawing his throwing stars. “I am not sensing any threat, but-“

Jay bursts into the room, and Cole is right behind him. There’s a lot of tension and loud talking as everyone tries to figure out what’s going on, until Lloyd raises his voice.

“Everything’s fine!” He speaks loudly in order to be heard over the clamor. “I was just a little startled. Everything’s fine.”

“Startled?” Cole repeats, confusion evident. “Startled by what?”

Lloyd sighs. “Zane was sleeping in the freezer.”

All eyes turn to the powerless Master of Ice, who seems almost stunned by his words. “My apologies, I did not think that sleeping here would cause such a problem. I will relocate tonight.”

There’s a brief pause, until Jay loudly whispers to Cole. “... what’s a freezer?”

The powerless Master of Earth shrugs. “Uh, whatever Zane was sleeping in, I guess.” He whispers back.

Right. They don’t know very much about human things. Why should they? They’ve never needed to know about them before.

“A freezer is a drawer-thing that you use to keep food cold.” Lloyd explains. First Spinjitzu Master, he’s going to have to explain everything, isn’t he?

There’s nods and mumbles of understanding. 

“So, we need to come up with a plan of investigating. For starters, what was going on in the Fire Temple?” Lloyd glances around at the powerless elementals.

The air is suddenly filled with tension, and there’s an uncomfortable pause.

Lloyd waits.

“It’s, uh… complicated.” Jay gets out. “And we’re probably wrong about what it is, anyway, so we really shouldn’t be worried about it.”

Lloyd narrows his eyes. “Well, then maybe someone can uncomplicate it. I want to know what's going on.”

Cole speaks up next. “It’s really not- It’s not the issue here. It can’t be.”

“It’s our first lead, isn’t it? I need to know what it is.”

There’s a heavy pause.

The Master of the Elements takes a deep breath. “If someone doesn’t tell me what’s going on, I’m going to pick one of you and order you to explain.” 

There’s another tense silence. It stretches for longer this time. Right as Lloyd is about to open his mouth, Zane speaks up.

“We were not the first beings in existence.”

The teen frowns. “I already knew that. There was the First Spinjitzu Master- Father Nature. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Yes, well… he was not the only one around back then.”

Lloyd freezes. “I’m sorry, what?”

Cole is the next one to speak. “Fire, Earth, Lightning, Ice… they’re- we’re- the elements of life, of creation. And while there aren’t any direct counterparts to us… there is a counterpart to Father Nature.”

“Why am I only learning this now?!” Lloyd exclaims, staring at the powerless elementals in shock. “Why would you guys not tell me this?! And- and how could this possibly not be relevant, of course it’s relevant! I-“

“Because he’s supposed to be dead!” Kai cuts in. “The First Spinjitzu Master killed him!”

Jay shifts uncomfortably. “Or so we thought…” He mumbles.

Lloyd narrows his eyes. “What do you mean ‘or so we thought’?” He questions. “What happened?”

The four exchange a glance, all of them clearly reluctant to actually explain the situation.

Cole takes a deep breath. “The opposition to Father Nature was known as the Overlord. The two of them were the first beings. The First Spinjitzu Master had all of the elements of creation, but the Overlord had the power of destruction. The two of them were rivals from the dawn of time. But Father Nature… he started to lose the war. Everything was dying, nothing could escape the Overlord’s wrath.”

“Until Father Nature came up with a plan.” Jay continues. “He created us, and gave us our elemental powers- our core powers. Fire, Earth, Lightning, Ice… they were at our command. He controlled everything else, of course, but with his power divided, we could attack on multiple fronts. It was him who struck the final blow, sending the Overlord into his own destructive powers, killing him. And then-”

Zane cuts him off. “And then, from the light he had made, mankind and Serpentine arose. He was content with the work he had made, but before he vanished, he promised us two gifts. The first was the rest of his powers- we now had control over all related to our element. But he faded, never speaking of the second gift. Until, eons later-”

“We found you.” Kai finishes. “You had no parents, but were born with his powers. That’s how we knew you were his son. And we never mentioned the Overlord, because, well…”

“Because he doesn’t exist. He was dead before history even began.” Lloyd realizes. A warm feeling settles in his gut as he registers all of what Kai had said.

He’s the gift? He’s as valuable as their powers?

A small smile graces his face at the knowledge. He always knew he was special- he’s the son of the First Spinjitzu Master!- but he never knew it was to that extent. He’s considered a gift, he’s-

The feeling in his gut turns cold as a thought strikes him.

“If you don’t have your powers… and Father Nature is gone… and the Overlord is back…” He trails off. 

“He came back because of me.”

It’s obvious, now that he knows all the details. It would be impossible for no one to have any control over the elements- that’s just not how things work. Someone has to have control, no matter how limited it is.

And with Lloyd having that limited control, the Overlord is able to take away the elementals powers. 

Lloyd isn’t nearly strong enough to take on a god on his own.

“What?” Kai questions. “Why would he come back because of-“

The Master of the Elements explains what he came up with. Despite the expressions of shock they wear, no one makes any move to claim his ideas are false.

A few moments pass.

“Do you really think he’s back?” Jay whispers, a tremor in his voice.

“There’s no other explanation for the events that have occurred.” Zane replies, his own voice just as unsteady.

“... what do we do now?” Cole questions.

It takes a moment, but then it clicks. They’re looking to him to solve this. Of course. As a team, none of them have ever led the others. It was always his grandfather who had done that.

Another responsibility that’s been passed down to Lloyd.

“Going to the Fire Temple is too dangerous.” He decides, doing his best to sound confident, sure of his decision. “For right now, we need to figure out a way to get your powers back- or at least find a way to make the Overlord’s plan more difficult.”

There’s a few nods, and Lloyd takes that as agreement. “Is there anything else I should know about the Overlord?”

“Well, uh…” Jay shifts uncomfortably. “... he kind of has an indestructible army?”

“He what.”

[shirtlesssammy]

10x02: Reichenbach

June 21st, 2003:

A boy wakes from sleep to hear a fight happening in his house. He finds his dad brutally murdered downstairs. As he cries over the body, we see a de-aged Dean Winchester walk in the room with a bloody knife. (Like, what a weird thing to spend money on, idk) 

Cut to (UGH) Cole (UGH) who was that boy. He’s telling his tale to a tied up Sam. He’s going to kill Dean. Sam tells him that “Dean isn’t Dean right now.” Cole is getting high off of thinking about his revenge so there’s no talking to him. Sam tells him that Dean had his reasons for killing his dad. There are monsters out there. 

(UGH) Cole (UGH) thinks he’s talking about human monsters (of which there are many) but Sam tells him REAL monsters. Cole keeps calling Sam the psycho but then puts on gloves and pulls out a hammer. UGH. 

Killdeer, North Dakota

Our Demon Dean Bean is enjoying the view (and touching without consent..smh). He throws money on the ground for the exotic dancer and she’s less than impressed and starts to walk away. He grabs her again and this time the bouncer stops him. Dean headbutts him and we’re suddenly watching (UGH) Cole (UGH) beat up Sam. I’m going to be honest, smart editing makes recapping hard. :D Cole continues to demand where Dean is. Dean continues to wale on the bouncer. Dudes at the bar are not stopping him --like, holy fuck, stop him, assholes! He stops himself, finishes his drink, and leaves. 

(UGH) Cole (UGH) continues to torture Sam, but he doesn’t realize that he’s dealing with Sam Fucking Winchester. That boy is a badass and he will NOT break. Cole’s just about to break Sam’s kneecap when his phone rings. It’s his wife so he answers and walks away, leaving his keys and a knife on the ground. 

Outside the strip club, Dean runs into Crowley. 

For Dear God Dunk Me Under That Running Water Science:

Cas is on the road with Hannah and his fake grace is failing him. She heals a wound of his and he thanks her but tells her she can go. She’s staying. She wants to help. That makes Cas laugh. It’s just so very human of her. (HANNAH) 

Cas gets a call from Sam. He has a lead on Dean and tells Cas to head to North Dakota. Sam then drops the bomb that Dean is a demon. 

Cas and Hannah head out to meet Sam. Hannah doesn’t see the point in helping the Winchesters. Cas sees otherwise. They’re his friends. (Blarf...this is season 10. One more season and he’ll be living in the bunker and he’ll be family and I just can’t take it.) Cas is not ok and starts to nod off while driving, and they crash. #RipPimpMobile

Dean and Crowley are at a bar. Crowley asks Dean how he’s doing, knowing full well that he’s not doing that great. He needs to kill. Crowley offers him a deal that he can’t refuse --kill for him.

Crowley has a list. First up: Mindy Morris. She cheated on her husband and then asked for a divorce. Lester, the husband, would rather sell his soul than give up his money. Mindy’s going to die. Dean agrees. 

Cas and Hannah have the car towed to a car repair shop. The extra nice mechanic invites them into her home. Hannah is not used to this human condition and it’s kinda cute. She also doesn’t get human humor. Also cute. Cas is so out of it, he doesn’t register the exchange. They head inside. Hannah heads to find food for Cas (wait, with his fading grace, does he need to eat?) and returns to the living room to find Cas zonked out on the couch. 

Dean stalks Mindy Morris’s house and just as he’s about to go in to do his job, he sees Lester pull up. He goes to have a chat with Lester. Pro tip: Not a great idea to be at the scene of the crime when the crime is happening. Dean tells Lester that he can’t really blame Mindy for stepping out. “She’s a North Dakota Eight. You’re a Four and a half max.” 

Wanna see a Hollywood Ten:

Also, Lester was already cheating on Mindy (UGH). Demon Dean maybe learned a thing between the no consent touching and this moment, because he ain’t buying the shit that Lester is selling. He punches him. Lester tells Dean that he works for him now and he needs to get in that house and do his job. Uh, demon or no, don’t tell Dean “Free Will” Winchester what to do; He’s going to do the opposite. Dean guts him with the First Blade. Oops. 

Sam’s at the Angelz Strip Club (LOLOLOLOLOLOL, Dean wishes it was one angel --I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself. But also, wtf? Is it because he’s a demon, and irony?) He’s talking with the bouncer. They exchange war stories. Sam asks the bouncer to call him (or Lemmy Kilmister at least) if he sees Dean again. Meanwhile, (UGH) Cole (UGH) lurks and follows Sam as he drives away. 

The next morning, Cas wakes to Looney Tunes (god, I love this running theme through Andrew Dabb episodes) and a little girl who has the most fascinating dreams about snot and rockets. Epic. 

She offers Cas some of her cereal and he accepts. IT’S ADORABLE, PEOPLE. (A thousand Cas with small child fics were born, I’m sure.) The mechanic and Hannah watch and smile and all is right with the world. The mechanic tells Hannah their car is ready. And then she tells her that she’s got a great guy. (Lol, he’s already taken. Hannah learned that little factoid last season.) 

Meanwhile Crowley’s in hell (seewhatididthere) while a demon explains to him how to make Hell more efficient. Sam calls Crowley, but Interrupting!Dean (‘cause he’s a demon, I guess) strolls in very proud of himself for killing Lester. When Crowley chews him out for it, Dean shoves him to the ground with his little demon head-tilt. Crowley rather insightfully sums it up: Dean’s a li’l bit human and a li’l bit demon. 

Instead of cowering in fear, Dean’s supremely unimpressed by the King of Hell. He informs Crowley that they’re not “besties” and that he’ll come around when he needs someone new to kill. “It's over,” Crowley decrees. “What can I say? Crazy ones...well, they're good for a fling. But they're not relationship material.” It’s okay, Crowley. Breakups are hard!

In sunny angel-land, Hannah takes over driving for Cas who is looking awful. Listen, I don’t often fantasize about swaddling grown men and spoon feeding them soup but Cas! BBY! You look like hammered crap.

Crowley finds Moose and tells him where to find Squirrel. The Mark of Cain’s a PIA and he’d rather be shot of Dean altogether. 

Cas wakes up in the parked car to find Hannah gone. She went up to Heaven to speak to Metatron in jail. Careful! He’s a tricksy devil. She tries to interrogate Metatron for the whereabouts of the last remnants of Cas’s grace. Oh, sure! Coming right up.

Metatron says he’ll barter Cas’s grace for sweet freedom. Hannah’s about to bite when Cas arrives. 

Cas approaches angrily and tells Hannah not to do it. “I've made deals born of desperation, and they always end in blood and tears.”

Castiel doesn’t want to be saved like that. Hannah reluctantly agrees and walks off. Metatron leaves Cas with a parting shot: there’s just enough of his grace to save him. “Keep it,” Cas tells him. “I’ve made peace with my fate.” OKAY BUT we haven’t. Just so you know. 

Metatron decides to make a really compelling argument for freeing him. He’ll escape one day and then...kill everybody. How fun and well-adjusted. He taunts Castiel as he leaves: “Dead man walking!” 

On Earth, Dean pensively plays the piano?????????? Bored with piano practice, he pulls out the First Blade and slices his hand, then watches it heal up while Crowley’s advice to choose between the two natures echoes in his head. Sam approaches. (Aaaaand musical number time. Sing him a song, Dean!)

Dean picks up the blade and stalks over to the bar. Sam suggests a nice, civilized trip home to do the demon cure. For some reason, demon Dean isn’t into that plan. He confesses that he’d like to rip Sam’s throat out with his TEETH which is...certainly an image. 

Sam expresses his unending loyalty: it doesn’t matter what Dean might have done as a demon. He just wants him home. Dean laughs at him but his mirth gets interrupted by a smoke bomb going off. When Sam stumbles outside the bar, he’s met with (UGH) Cole (UGH). Cole knocks Sam “The Head Injury” Winchester out. 

Cole meets Dean at last, who roundly mocks him for not killing Sam already. Cole dramatically announces who he is to Dean. Dun dun DUN. He’s the son of a man you killed decades ago who has since grown into a completely different looking adult! I mean, come on, Dean. Work on your facial recognition here. Dean apologizes - all those dead people over the years have blurred together. 

Dean taunts Cole, telling him to shoot him already. (Side note: as much as I dislike demon Dean, he really plays up his eyes nicely in these scenes.) 

For Eye Crinkle Science:

They fight. Dean reminds me of a cat toying with a mouse. “What did you think was gonna happen, huh? You just stroll up here and say “my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die,” And I'd just roll over? Well, that's just… It makes me sad.”

(UGH) Cole (UGH) cuts Dean, who heals before his eyes. He demon-flashes him.

Dean starts beating Cole within an inch of his life but hesitates… Sam takes that opportunity to toss holy water onto Dean and slap on those warded cuffs. You got ‘im, Sammy! Good work. 

Later, Sam hands the first blade over to Crowley for safe keeping (and WOW about that, really). 

(UGH) Cole (UGH) apparently headed straight to the public library after his little prize fight and, still bloodied and barely standing, asks the librarian for every book she has on demons. Please, Cole, demon and witchcraft books always get stolen within the first month on the shelf. 

Back at the bar, Crowley enjoys his froofy drink and fondles the First Blade while thinking of his ex. And then we get a close-up of his phone. It’s a photo of Dean and Crowley wearing cowboy hats and being dorks together. Over the scene, the song “Lonely girl” plays. I CAN’T EVEN WITH THIS. 

Sam drives Dean home to the bunker. Dean refers to Baby as “just a car” and we all die a little inside. Sam has hope, though. He chose not to kill Cole. Dean just smiles. He didn’t give (UGH) Cole (UGH) mercy...he handed him his destroyed pride on a platter. “That ain’t mercy. That’s the worst thing I coulda done to ‘im.” He then promises to visit more of his anti-mercy on Sam.

______________________________

Quote it Again, Sam:

Sam and Dean may be a bit rough around the edges but they’re the best men I’ve ever known. 

I understand the three beans, but what’s the surprise?

What is this, a lifetime movie?

______________________________

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[mrsmess]

Faves and fails of SPN (season 10)

Favorite episodes (in chronological order):

10:2 Reichenbach - Of course I like the Cole-storyline, it’s been a long time coming, but he’s so short Sam’s taller than him sitting down! Not that I’m complaining. I’m not hating this. I feel like this rewatch became Sam’s about midway through season 8 and that still holds. Samstel in distress fends pretty well for himself. Also loving Cass, and even Hannah. And Dean is an asshole but at least he kills Lester.

10:5 Fan fiction - Well, obviously this goes on the list. Love this crap. The boys are a lot of fun. And all the girls are awesome.

10:6 Ask Jeeves - anything Bobby related, y’know? And now we know the show’s back to normal, when Sam insists ”being a monster is a choice” and Dean comes blasting through the door with the categorical excessive violence. Ah. Supernatural.

10:7 Girls, girls, girls - sexworkers hustling for souls - brilliant. And Rowena! Is she modelled after Morticia? Anyway she gets quite an introduction, instantly into her. And Crowley dislikes getting tangled w the prostitution ring. Dean’s closing speech to Cole - pretty frickin’ strong.

10:8 Hibbing 911 - Jody and Donna and Alex on the phone. That is all I care about.

10:9 The things we left behind - And now another Wayward daughter! Claire! And Cass being cute. Sam’s hairography. ”Tell me it was them or you!” Well... kind of? And they certainly had it coming.

10:12 About a boy - Dean is appropriately haunted by what happened w Charlie and it’s bleeding into his performance. He gets transformed into his tween self. I like this actor. Omg! Tween!Dean ranting and adult!Sam listening - adorable.

10:14 The executioner’s song - now that’s an intro. Dean bashing Sam’s true crime fad. I’m with ya, Dean! Why would someone w their lives be into serial killers? Cain is looking goooood. And Sam acting like everything’s gonna be okay but knowing differently.

10:15 The things they carried - kudos to the show for not abandoning the Cole storyline. Also fresh monster time, albeit not my favorite monster (it’s a little silly) but still. The possibility of failure catching up w Sam.

10:16 Paint it black - omg! Sydney from Legion! Love her. And Dean relating to her. Love that. Finally some more info on Rowena. Dean in confession. My heart!

10:17 Inside man - Bobby! Barefoot Sam! ”How’d you sleep?” ”Like a drunk baby.” A mime that is secretly a cockroach. That is the story, goshdarnit! But I hate that Sam’s not being frank w Dean about what he’s doing. That’s usually Dean’s mo. Boooh. But I like him and Cass working together. But I hate lonely, self-destructive Dean. But Bobby! But poor Dean! I’m in pain. Okay ultimately it goes on the fave list because things start moving w Crowley and because of Bobby’s jailbreak. ”Dean doesn’t know we’re doing this.” ”Well, that’s a page ripped right outta the Winchester hand book, ain’t it?” I miss him so much. And Dean and Crowley talking. And Bobby’s reaction to Metatron. Lol.

10:18 Book of the damned - ”Can I kill him now?” Oh Cass. I get it. Metatron is like that person who rubs everyone the wrong way, and for no apparent reason, but all powerful. Nightmare. Dean coming clean! Charlie! Mysterious artefact! Thin Lizzy! The brothers dreaming about the beach. Diciplined, deliberate, contained and soft-spoken Dean is adorable. ”What is your mission now, Castiel?” The Winchesters obviously. Charlie and Sam talking about the life <3 Cass finding his grace! Cass and Charlie meeting! Behind Blue Eyes!What time is it? It’s time to spin the intrigue wheel! Deal with darkness it is!

10:20 Angel heart - Claire is back. Oh Cass. Never change. Dean and Claire playing miniature golf. I’m rly annoyed thinking about the Novak-family priorities: Jimmy went like: sure I’ll be a vessel, it’s not like my family needs me. And Amelia went like: I’ll go look for my vessel-husband, Claire will be fine on her own. And then they’re together in dumbass-heaven. And Dean, Sam and Cass leaving Claire to fend for her half Dead mother. They can’t do anything quite right, huh? Still, it gets to stay on the fave list because of Claire. Poor baby.

Worst episodes (in chronological order):

10:4 Paper Moon - Gosh, I’m instantly seeing the upside of Demon!Dean: They’re gonna make this shallow guilt-tripping last the entire season, aren’t they? Watching the Lester-storyline put into a flashback-collage like that; The Winchesters? More like the two Stooges. And ”You killed your boyfriend’s best friend!” Are you being dumb on purpose? Were you asleep during the movie she left for you?

10:10 The hunter games - Kind of a fix-it episode. I’m a tad tired of these constant lines on human morality taking up time when they are kinda beyond it.

10:13 Halt and catch fire - This is pretty terrible. The ghost is in the wifi! Technology is evil!

10:21 Dark dynasty - As fascinating as the Styne family is, they’re wasted this late. Plus, y’know, the obvious, horrible ending.

10:23 Brother’s keeper - Calling a dead girl ”dressed like a whore” under demonic influence or not, is the quickest way to end up on my nope list. Honestly I felt the tide turning in Dean’s favor but nah. Yeah, Yeah, i get it, he’s losing it, but I’m back on team Sam. My god, these final speeches between the brothers are starting to feel as engaging as ping pong, as well as resemble it. ”Let’s try the same dialogue as we did last season but change places.” And it’s kind of stupid because the subject matter is continually engaging. Also I’m not clear on why Dean had to kill Sam and that’s just, not good.

Honorable mentions:

The relationship between Cass and Hannah has me weak at the knees at times. I rly like it.

Dean and Sam going by Collins and Gabriel in there’s no place like home.

Dean inadvertantly describing himself accurately in the Werther project: ”You’re looking at me like i’m some diseased, killer-puppy.” Lol.

Crowley torturing a guy w darts, and talking to the hamster.

Dishonorable mentions:

I dig Rowena but not her motivations. Or maybe it’s more along the lines of me not liking it. The only power worth having is the power to be free. Everything else just seems like a hassle.

The fact that they don’t try dismembering all monsters and burying the parts seperately- which seems to at least slow down anything- instead of playing along w silly ancient self-fulfilling prophecies ”Cain must be killed w the first blade” Have they learned nothing from Buffy?

Piero the 16th century italian artist preferring bottle blondes.

Things that makes you go hmm:

Soul survivor - Okay. So. If Sam used his own blood to cure Dean - would that count as a trial? He certainly didn’t care about blood types or sanctified blood, or maybe I missed something. Either way, it irks me. Actually, could we skip this whole guilt-trippy demon-cure schtick? What Sam did is n.o.t.h.i.n.g compared to what they’ve done before. And heaven and hell is increasingly unepic- not that I mind. And ”He says he doesn’t want to.” Who cares?? The shit you’ve put each other through for ten seasons; you’re so beyond asking each other for permission.

Summing up:

This is definitely Dean’s season, he gets to be a badass demon as well as show great restraint, my two favorite things. Unfortunately Sam’s behavior is a bit ooc again, he not only shouldn’t have but wouldn’t have kept his work a secret from Dean, he’s more of the earnest, nagging type. Plus, the execution of the season is chaotic and confusing. Probably the lowest ranking season so far.

[artisticvicu]

Time Moves On

Prompt September 14, 2019

This is a first for me...writing in a journal...but I have little to do now but this. My friends are gone...my family...and I don't even know where I am. I was forced to leave my house two days ago. They broke in...forced us out...and now...

Well, now I am in someone else's house. It's empty, but the dead are outside at the moment and I know they will get in eventually and I will have to run again. My brother is most likely dead, as are my two friends...and it seems so much worse now that I am alone. I'm not sure if we got separated or if the dead got them. We all ran in a blind panic! Two days...seems so long ago now. The dead...they are not slow like in the movies. They run and never seem to tire. I'm not sure how I will survive, but at least I have a place to rest. Rainbows and unicorns...lol. That's what I'm looking at now...the room I am in is decorated for a toddler. Somehow it is calming and makes the sounds of the hands slapping against the house's side more tolerable.

I will try to get some sleep and travel in the morning...my time is up here. At least I had a day without their noise. From what I have noticed so far, the dead don't seem as active during the day. Do they even sleep? I'm not sure...but I do need to...so I will try to write more tomorrow. Heaven knows it's better than doing nothing. 

September 21st, 2020 I'm not the original writer and it took me a few days before I managed to find one of the calendars prior to Day Zero that included enough days into the following year for me to actually figure out what today's date was.

I can't believe it's been over a year now.

Life's been.....decent. Nothing compared to what had existed Prior but it's better than the poor soul who died in the child's bedroom. The whole place was so collapsed and returned to nature that I hadn't even realized there had been a house there to begin with till I fell through the rotting roof.

Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. This book only has a few details in it but nothing on what happened after that date.

Maybe it's a good idea if I record it. Not that I'm certain anyone's going to be able to read my scribbling. I've been out of practice and the pencil had been a lucky find.

There had been many names for the things that swarmed the planet. There had been a major fight against calling them zombies - the original entry here calls them 'the dead' which was another common name - but in the end, zombie was the name that most will use now when recollecting those first few.....we'll call them months.

I didn't keep track of time during those months. The zombies surged across the planet like nothing many of us had been prepared for. Some held their own but it was clear that the human race was going to fall if something didn't change.

I was told that the zombie hoards had made it to every corner of the planet covering the land in shambling bodies that animals fled from. Attacks of any kind drew the hoards like piranha and the animals seemed to know this instinctively. Not that that kept some of them from attacking anyways.

But just as quickly as the wave of zombies suddenly sprang into existence, it died. Literally. The zombies just up and started dropping. They didn't even twitch as they hit the ground. In all of two hours, every zombie in existence was properly dead once more. It was.....strange. But with our numbers so scattered and small, the billions of bodies decayed and became part of the ecosystem. Some areas saw mounds of zombies become rolling hills or the scattered bodies become home to new trees. Whatever had made them move so swiftly seemed to have encouraged some rapid growth in the plant life but nothing that's been disconcerting. Or dangerous.

After that, there was no dead and the only task that came about was surviving. I had managed to make it on my own for those handful of months before I came across a town that had survived, more or less. If nothing else, there were other people there. I didn't stick around. Turned out it was a cult of sorts and I got out of there as quickly as I could with few new friends.

At the time there had only been four of us. Now there's eighteen; nineteen when Anna gives birth in a few weeks. We're lucky to have her around despite her condition. Mark is probably our strongest - yet sweetest - and he dotes on her making it so that she isn't even a burden on anyone but him and he would probably never call her a burden even as a joke. It's her brother, though, that's been the largest asset and why her pregnancy - though perilous - hasn't negatively impacted the group (Mark notwithstanding). Zach's a doctor. A really good, very knowledgeable doctor even with the lack of 'modern technology'.

Doesn't hurt that she can cook really well, either.

Most of us have our uses like that, which makes it easy for everyone willing to pitch in. Peter's a fricken horse whisperer despite his argument that anyone that had grown up on a farm could do what he does with the 'wild' ones we come across. I don't think we've had to walk for months now because of him. We've even got a few goats and a couple of chickens because of him but he says it was Jewel. - who, mind you, grew up in the city Prior. Jewel just coos at all the animals so no one's convinced she's had any part of it.

I'm still betting that the small pack of dogs and cats we have are because of her despite her nonchalant attitude about it. The way she commands them and the way they listens is like the livestock with Peter; they heed her command and answer her call as if she had raised them from birth. At this point, a few of them have been, but that's beside the point.

Lyle grew up on a farm too but he's shit with the animals. He's good with helping cultivate the edible supplies, though. He's not great at it but an extra hand that knows how to preserve things is always a large help. The fact that he has the patience and stamina to make butter is impressive in and of itself.

Tanner's good at making fabric from the wool. Bella mastered making thread for sewing despite her being just as good of a cook as Anna. She won't listen to anyone but I think Tanner enjoys the company.

Sam's a fricken compass and has yet to get us horribly lost. Sam's twin Luca is our cartographer and is brilliant at it. We trade duplicated maps at settlements and towns we pass through.

Cole's started figuring out how to work any metal we find. We still trade a lot of tools but he's good to have around for repairs. He's been able to fix just about everything we have. Well, anything that doesn't require sewing. I'm still not great at that but I'm the only one that knows enough of the 'how' to be able to actually keep up on repairs. Sam and Luca are learning and Tanner's not bad, but their patience never lasts long. I find it soothing.

It would seem Mark's starting to stir so my watch shift is over. This whole journal thing is weird but I think it would be cool to catalog what's happened.

Not that I did a good job with this entry. Kind of got talking about those around me.

Maybe that's a good thing. In this world beyond the Prior and Day Zero, that's all we have. Though I may have to explain -why- we're traveling rather than settling in some town.

Maybe tomorrow when I'm on watch again. If I can keep my brain from wandering.

[shadow-kid-cole]

How about Human!Cole and Varric having some fireside bonding time 💕

i don’t know why this got all melancholy?? i was trying to write fluff what happened

thank you so much for the prompt, i was going to add more to this but it seemed to wrap up pretty well where it is so i’m just going to let it be and maybe write something happier about the two of them later lol

The night air is still, calm and cool where it hangs around their small campsite. The fire crackles merrily as Varric tends it, casting his face in a warm glow as sparks wreathe past him and fade in the distant gloom. Cicadas call into the night. From somewhere nearby, Cole hears an owl hoot once, then fall silent.

The Inquisitor has already retreated to her tent for the night, as has Vivienne. That leaves him and Varric sitting by the fire in a companionable silence as the night world comes alive around them. He doesn’t mind the silence; he likes to talk, but it doesn’t always come out right. Sometimes, it’s nice to just listen. He closes his eyes and focuses past the ever-present tangle of thoughts that scratch and bite at his friends’ minds, the monotonous sound of Varric’s quill scratching over parchment almost soothing in its simplicity. He feels… calm. Relaxed. Strange.

“You falling asleep on me, kid?” Varric asks. Cole blinks his eyes open and focuses on Varric, a smile gracing his features across the fire. He isn’t tired, yet.

“No.”

“You sure? You looked pretty close to passing out right there a second ago.”

Cole shakes his head. “Not sleeping. Thinking. Or not. Thinking about not thinking? I don’t know if that makes sense.”

“You know what, kid, I think it does,” Varric says. The scratching of the quill starts again a moment later, but the conversation hangs unfinished in the air. Cole is almost content to let it be anyway.

Almost.

“Varric, why does helping hurt sometimes?” he asks. Varric sighs and sets aside his writing, looking through the flames at him with eyes turned to gold by the light.

“That’s… a pretty heavy question.” He pauses, gathering his thoughts as he stares unfocused into the distance. “Sometimes, things just don’t go the way you want them to. Fixing one thing breaks two more, you know? And people are complicated, but they tend to react the same way to things that hurt - like a wild animal does. They get angry, aggressive, try to make up for what they see as weakness. But it gets all mixed up with emotions too, which makes everything harder. A lot of the time, they wind up trying to fix the effects and not the cause. Some just ignore it and hope it’ll go away, because dealing with it, confronting what you’re feeling, is too hard.”

Cole considers this for a moment. “But that doesn’t help them,” he says.

Varric chuckles. “No, it certainly doesn’t. But it’s a defense mechanism. It does what it’s supposed to do - defend. They don’t deal with it, but it doesn’t get worse.”

“What if not dealing with it makes it worse?”

“What if dealing with it does?”

The campsite is silent for a long moment, but Varric doesn’t go back to writing. He tilts his head back and watches the stars where they twinkle impassively overhead. Cole looks up too, and sees a few thin wisps of cloud sweep past on a distant wind until they disappear over the horizon.

“I wish it were easier,” Cole says finally. His voice is small, soft.

Varric sighs, but doesn’t turn to look at him.

“Yeah, kid. Me too.”

support me on ko-fi!

[angel-scythe]

I Need you : Chapter 19

New chapter !!!

W00t w00t !!

As you know, you can smash this door to go on AO3 |  °| or just keep reading!

National Geographic Channel was on the TV but this time, Gavin wasn’t afraid at all. Niles had asked to put this channel while they were watching lol cats and playing cards at the same time because he didn’t want to miss his series. It was a bunch of documentary with a lot of subject and knowing that Niles wanted something made the Android happy.

The man was sat in the sofa, with covers around him and he followed the whole thing, letting out sometimes a comment. Like…

“That’s part is interesting but they forgot to had the fact it was indeed possible to have an assassination repay if you gave enough money. The amount could change, of course. Glad they had stopped that thing.”

Gavin pressed a kiss on his cheek and got up before going to the kitchen.

“You’re up for a bit of pasta? Helping your sto…”

“Huush,” Niles said, rising a finger.

“Okay. Pasta.”

As he was doing the said pasta, he was humming the song but very low because he didn’t want to disturb Niles, way too happy to see him enjoying something. He had said the emission was weekly and he knew the last time, he was really amorphous, not paying attention to this.

 “I’m a little robot, short and strong. Here are my handles, just turn me on. When I get all warmed up, watch me go. Sometimes fast and sometimes slow.”

Gavin looked the tiny plate of pasta and smiled to him. Niles would have finished that in few forks but he wasn’t even sure he would be able to do such a thing. This morning, he had taken really little egg and orange juice and the cocoa from earlier wasn’t even finished but Niles had still decided it was his dinner. Now, as the night covered the town, making shine the snow with its moon and its stars, Gavin came in the living room and put down the dish on the coffee table. He handed him the fork as the man was watching the last minutes of the show.

“Niles?” he said, pushing the fork against his hand.

Niles took it and mumbled a tiny ‘thank you’ before pinning some pasta with his fork. Gavin blinked as he saw him bring the food to his mouth then a smile appeared in his lips and he followed the movement of the fork coming from the plate to his mouth. Over and over. Until his lover was pinning the emptiness and he took the fork from his hand.

Now he had a weapon against him!!

So when the emission was over, Gavin smiled, tapped his shoulder repeatedly.

“Yes?”

“You ate,” Gavin smiled.

“What?”

The Android showed the empty plate and the dirty fork.

“You ate while watching your thing. And you were really cute!” He smiled even more.

“I did?”

Niles frowned. Yes, he had a taste in his mouth and the feeling to have a full stomach. He had eaten.

“I can do it?”

“Yay! I’m so proud of you!!”

“Th… Thanks…”

Niles felt weird and a bit stupid. And very happy to have Gavin, cheer him up like that for nothing.

“You really liked that, right?” he said with a smile.

“The emission? Yes. It’s my favorite emission. I discovered it few months before, at the beginning of… this.”

“I want to know some facts! Tell me some!” Gavin looked him with excitation.

Niles thought. He needed to find something that will passionate him. He knew it was important because History could annoy people really quickly. When they were younger, they studied together with Connor and often, he had to explain him again some point because he could become distracted. Still, even when he didn’t pay enough attention, he had really good grades and with Niles’ help that was even better.

“I got one for you.”

“Yay, just for me?”

Niles nodded.

“In the Middle Age, it was said the cats were sign of bad luck and they the first vector of pest. The people searched to protect them from the pest which was really deadly. You could count the deaths by millions. Some influent and faithful people even died from the ill and, obviously for the people, true believers by this time, that was…”

He moved his hand to Gavin who frowned.

“That was… really bad?”

“Yes. A real sign of the Evil. So, I’m sorry, but they hunted down the cats… I spare  you the details.”

“No, no. Go, go.” Though, Gavin had his hands on his face.

Niles took one and squeezed it softly.

“Because of those believes and the witches hunting, they were killed. Drowned and burned alive with the witches…”

“Oh no, poor babies. Those were only the black cats, right? Right?” he asked as if that will be better.

“Especially the black cats but others too. But, the black cats with a bit of white fur on the chest had what they called Angel’s Mark or God’s Finger and where spared, as the Humans who got them.” Niles kissed his fingers softly. “What do you think happened then?”

“There was not much cats and that’s a shame! How could they kill those fluffy ball of purr?! Who they’ll cuddle? Ah… sorry, I love cats.”

Niles pressed his lips on his palms. “I know.”

“But continues, okay? What happened then? What was the problem with the lack of cats? You wouldn’t talk about that without reasons so… I need to know!”

“Yes. You know who brought the pest, right?”

“The rats!  And the cats couldn’t hunt them and eat them, right?”

The man nodded. “Thought, the real vector of pest was the fleas on the rats. But, our story: at some point, they realized that the pest wasn’t there in the place where you could find cats and where they hunted rats. They started to be used to eradicate the rats. The situation became better but the cats were still rare… so rare, in fact, that only the Bourgeoisie could have enough money to have cats. And what was the richest sign?”

“Having cats! A lots of  cats?”

“Yes. More they have cats, more they showed their wealth.”

“Ooh God!” Gavin smiled. “We should start to become wealth! Especially with black  cats!”

Niles found him really cute and he wanted to kiss him and hug him.

“Tomorrow, we will go feed the cats. If there are no kids, they might come.”

“Yay! You know what?”

Stern shook his head.

“I never petted a cat. Ever.”

“Tomorrow will be your first,” Niles swore.

“Yay, can’t wait!

Niles wanted to say him ‘I love you’ again and again when his phone rung. He took it and frowned. Well… he wasn’t so surprised to see a message from Connor.

[Call me, please?]

“Is it okay for you if I call Connor?”

“Yeah! Do it!” Gavin switched in the couch, taking a better place. “I have aaaaaall the time,” he smiled. Watching him try the call, he couldn’t help adding something else. “And to be honest… I’m glad to see you call your twin.”

That should have been a compliment but that did something to Niles and his smile was a bit sad. Yeah… few days before, he wouldn’t do that…

What a horrible brother…

He tightened his hand around the phone and felt a hand on his knee, Gavin’s eyes looking worry so he tried to smile him softly. But suddenly, it became difficult…

“Hello?”

“Connor?”

“Yes.”

“What’s happening?”

“I will have a date.”

Niles almost choked with his own saliva.

“What?” Gavin said, surprised.

“You’ve a date?” he replied. He needed to know if he had well heard…

“Oh rA9. Need to know! Is your bro’ a slut or he succeed his plan? Did he tried the ‘I want to be Cole’s stepfather’s thing’? More cocky?”

“Don’t call my brother ‘slut’,” Niles hissed. “I put on the speakers,” he warned.

After all maybe Gavin could help? Him… he was just good to have a quickie with some strangers. And by God, rA9 and everything in the world, he wished his brother didn’t want that!

“Hello Gavin.”

“Hello other meatbag!”

“I’m in front of Lieutenant Anderson’s house. He asked me to come at his house. He’ll make me Bolognese spaghettis! I’ll stay at his house… We’ll probably work but technically, it’s a date. He even let me go home so that will be less weird. I took a shower, put on fresh clothes and… I’m just in front of his house. What should I do?”

“Knock on the door or ring the bell and pass a nice evening!” Gavin said.

“Yes, that probably… If Hank wants to date you, that mean he wants to date you.”

“Yeah. He knows you, right? He wants to be with you. Don’t try to be too much. I’m not good with romance and stuff but I don’t think he wants something else. Someone else. Especially if the guys made you spaghetti. That’s not hyper super mega romantic.”

Connor didn’t reply.

“Connor?”

“Yes… yes. What am I doing if he wants to kiss me? Or hug me? Or offer me to sleep in his bed?”

“Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If he wants to kiss you and you want it, if you feel okay, let him do. But if you can’t, ask him to stop. Immediately. Don’t hurt yourself. Keep calm.”

“And your gun. If he tries to rape you, legally, you can kill him,” Gavin said.

“What?” Connor let out.

“Just sayin’.”

“Stay on your guards,” Niles approved. “I don’t want you to be hurt. Call me if something bad is happening. Or if you need to talk.”

“Yes… Yes. Thank you.” Connor hesitated and bit his lower lips. “He offered me a sunflower. He saw me looking the flowers at the florist, for the case, and he offered me a sunflower. She is… really cute.”

“That’s adorable. He is sweet with you, at least.”

“That will be great! And don’t forget: Human’s weak point is the genitals! Just kick his balls if something happens!”

Niles threw a look to Gavin but he was forced to agree.

“Yes. Thank you. I’ll call you or leave you a texto. Few textos.”

“Yeah. Take care.”

Connor hung up and sighed a bit, feeling stressed. He looked his shirt, his vest and rushed to his car. Taking out those, he searched for an old t-shirt he had let on there.

And found it.

The red t-shirt with a picture, and the name, of Knights of the Black Death was just there. Wrinkled, a bit smelly but there. He ruffled again and found his deodorant. He put on the t-shirt, tried to have it unwrinkled and put a lot of deodorant before getting up. He took back the tiny box he had and finally locked his vehicle to join the house where he rung. He was so anxious… His breathing was heavy, it was so cold there, maybe staying like that in the cold wasn’t a good idea, and he searched for his coin. The coin his brother offered to him.

Playing with it always keeps him calm…

He heard woofs from the inside when he rung a new time. If Sumo was there, Hank must be there too?

He was so anxious.

The coin was there and he moved it around his fingers. The movements helped him. He could breath…

The door opened and he almost lost his coin. Hank was there, in the frame door, clean and smelling so good, his beard a bit cut, his clean and well combed hair tugged in a pony tail. He was wearing a black pants and a silver shirt. He was beautiful and Connor almost gasped. He wasn’t so breathtaking…

“He… Hello… Good evening… again… I…”

“Good evening, Connor. Come…”

Connor took a deep breath and entered for his first date ever…

[mycasandstarrs]

SPN 10x02: “Reichenbach”

RIP Cole’s father. Killed by Dean.

Don’t call him Sammy.

“Now...I know Dean's family and all, but he gave you up. And you have no reason to protect him -- none.” No reason? It’s his brother, you moron.

“Look, I'm sorry about your dad. Whatever happened... Dean had a reason. I don't know how to tell you this. There are monsters out there.”

“You don't think I know that? I did two tours in Iraq. Special Ops, Darfur...The Congo. I've seen suicide bombers and child soldiers so hopped up on speed that they could barely talk! Oh, but they could sure as hell shoot an A.K.”  

Not those kinds of monsters.

“I mean vampires! All right? Werewolves. Monster... monsters.” Sam tried really hard not to go in that direction.

“It’s holy water.”

“Holy cow.”

lol

“Well, you see, that's exactly what a psycho liar would say, so... See my dilemma?” Oh, damn you.

“Cherry Pie” by Warrant. Its second appearance on the show.

Killdeer, North Dakota.

How is he the only one there?

Deanmon’s that douche.

It’s just a screaming contest between Sam and Cole.

“Shove it up your ass.” Sam is so goddamn resilient.

OH NO, NOT THE KNEE.

“Hey, big guy. How you doing? Now, no, no. Listen, daddy's really busy right now, okay?” Daddy’s busy torturing people and being a dumbass.

That kid was so close to being slaughtered.

“We need to talk about your... Anger-management issues.” Now you wanna work on that?!

Cas can’t heal himself...but Hannah can.

“Thank you. Hannah, you don't have to --you -- you can go. You don't owe me anything.”

“I know. But I want to stay...and help.”  

Aww, Hannah.

Cas was the first person Sam called when he could.

“Cas...Dean's a demon.”

“Dean's a demon? How?”

“The Mark --I-I guess it --it just messed him up. I don't know.“

“That is a vast understatement.”

OH NOOOOO. Cas face of pure devastation, that breaks my heart every time.

“Castiel...I think the Winchesters are a bad influence on you.”

“Sam and Dean may be a bit rough around the edges, but they're the best men I've ever known. And they're my friends.”

:’)

“I never get tired of looking at them. All those stars.” Me either, Hannah.

Crap. 

“Two shots here. He'll have something fancy, with your tiniest umbrella.” lol

“So...How you been feeling? On edge? Pent-up? Unfulfilled?”   

“You sound like a Viagra commercial. You know that, right?”

He does.

G A Y

Mindy and Lester Morris. Mindy’s the target, Lester’s the client.

Crowley tried to turn Dean into his personal assassin.

“Oh, there's something else that I need to share with you.” Was it that Sam introduced Lester into  the crossroad demon?

“I'm gonna have to run in to town for a new set of tires. Could take a while. You want to head inside and watch TV or something, you're more than welcome. Oh, and there's leftover three-bean surprise in the fridge, if you're hungry.”

“You're very kind.”

“Well, makes up for me being an ax murderer and all...Uh, sorry. Kidding.”

“Ah. I see.”

Aww, Hannah.

“I understand the three beans, but...What's the surprise?” Hannah was adorable.

And so is Cas when he’s sleeping.

Was it possible that Dean would’ve done it had Lester not shown up?

“What the hell are you doing here, man?”

“Well, my contact...Yeah, he, uh -- he told me that, uh, this was happening, so I just wanted to come down and make sure it gets done right.”

“Ah. 'Cause you're the expert, huh? Listen --and this is murder 101 --when you hire someone to kill your wife, you don't want to be around when the hit goes down. It's called an alibi.” 

What a dummy.

“I need you to really listen to me. You're a loser. Your lady in there -- she's a North Dakota 8. You're a 4 1/2, Max. Now, I don't blame her for stepping out -- especially if she found you were messing around first.”

“No. Oh, no. I-I wasn't...Uh -- How do you know?”

“Well, you just got that, uh, pervy, ‘I'd do anything to nail my secretary’ look.” 

NO IT’S NOT.

“Men aren't built for monogamy...because of evolution. We're -- we're -- we're programmed, you know, to --to spread our seed.” Okay, let’s kill him now.

“Yeah, well, you're a punk-ass demon! And you work for me now. So get in there and do your job, you freak!” Lester just signed his damn death warrant.

RIP Lester Morris. Killed by Dean.

Cole could’ve just let Sam go and do his thing by tracking Dean...instead of kidnapping and torturing him. He would’ve found Dean much sooner.

Looney Tunes!

Cas with kids. Always cute.

“Great guy you have there.”

“Oh. We're not... That.”

“Too bad.”

No no no, don’t give her ideas.

That was me in Economics class in high school.

“Tell me, Dean -- what are you? A demon? If so, why isn't Lester's wife dead? Did you feel sorry for her? So maybe you're human. Except you have those pretty black peepers and you're working alongside me. Why don't you do us all a great big favor and PICK A BLOODY SIDE?!” Crowley called Cas out like this in S6.

Dean and Crowley break up. Wah wah.

“You know what, Dean? It's not me. It's you.” Even the King of Hell couldn’t stand your ass, Dean.

“Maybe I should drive?”

“All right. Good idea.”

lol

Crowley turns in Dean.

They still haven’t cleaned up what Gadreel did?

Ah no, not another douche.

“You pop that lock, I'll give you Castiel's Grace and then scamper off to another planet -- another galaxy, even --and you will never see me again.”  I call such total bull.

“Poor little Hannah. You're so desperate to be dominated.”

*Hannah pulls Metatron into the prison bars.*

Thank you for that.

“He's lying. He is a liar.”

“Hey, words hurt!”

pfft.

Aww. Exercise your free will, Cas!

“I'll get out. It may take a century. May take a millennium or two, but this dump will not hold me forever.” Huh. More like a couple months.

“And when I'm free -- here's a little sneak preview -- everybody dies.” Oh well, that part’s not true.

That *is* “Hey Jude”!

Sam has finally found Dean.

“I'm doing all I can not to come over there and rip your throat out... with my teeth.” Alright, Edgelord.

“You don't know what I've done. I might have it coming.” Yeah, he’s got an idea, and he STILL wants to save you.

“Well, I don't care. Because you are my brother. And I'm here to take you home.”

God, I hate Deanmon. Give me real, human Dean any day.

“I saw you...That night...After. You let me live. That was dumb -- real dumb.” Well, he wasn’t gonna kill a human 13 year old kid.

Cole’s failed fight, sprinkled with Deanmon’s douchey one liners and taunts.

Dean’s been splashed with holy water so many times...and this is the one time that it actually worked.

Crowley’s price for ratting Dean out was the First Blade.

Come on, Cole! You’re getting blood all over the books!

"Hey There Lonely Girl” by Eddie Holman.

“It's just a car, Sam.” The biggest of Yikes for that one.

“You know what, Dean? I saw what happened back there. You could have killed that guy, and you didn't. You took mercy on him.” Uh...no.

“You call that mercy? Imagine you spend your whole life hunting down the guy that knifed your father. When you finally find him... He whips you like a dog. How do you think that feels? That kid's gonna spend his whole life knowing that he had his shot and that he couldn't beat me. That ain't mercy. That's the worst thing I could have done to him.” Sam looks scared shitless, omg.

“And what I'm gonna do to you, Sammy... Well, that ain't gonna be mercy, either.” Don’t listen to him Sam.

[chelsorz07]

i was gonna stop buuut

I’m still not emotionally equipped to deal with the Supernatural finale so I’m gonna continue to distract myself with Riverdale, Cole Sprouse interviews on Youtube, and these stupid ass surveys.

2010/2018

Are you ready for this? probably not but i'm a procrastinator. I’m never ready for anything. What do you think about Love? it's hard. I try not to think about it because I’m already so depressed I can’t move from my spot in this chair and if I take even just a moment to ponder why I’m so miserable I’ll probably just melt right into it. Who has your heart? david. I don’t think it exists. Are you wearing a necklace, who got it for you, wheres it from? i don't normally wear necklaces. I don’t wear jewelry except for my rings. Are you tall for your age, or short? taller than average but not tall. Yeah that. What are you about to do? bathe. Keep listening to Cole’s beautiful voice. Tell me about the person you like? i wouldn't know where to begin. I’d rather not. Do you like the smell of coconuts? no. Not really. I like woodsy scents more than fruity. And I hate florals. Expecting something to change in the next month? stuff changes all the time. I’m hoping we find a house. Tell me the truth,ever kissed your boyfriends/girlfriends best friend? no, unlike all his other girlfriends. I don’t even think he has one anymore. What are you looking forward to? my birthday. Moving home. Did you get anything off your chest today? i did a few days ago. I’ve avoided talking to anyone for the most part. How many rings do you usually wear? none. Three. Do you have a bestfriend of the opposite sex? a couple. I do. Can you sleep without blankets covering you? no. I cannot. What did you wear to bed last night? basketball shorts and a tshirt. Pajama pants and a t-shirt. What do you do in you spare time? pretty much this. Watch tv and feel sorry for myself. What were you doing at 10:00 this morning? hanging with maranda. Watching tv and feeling sorry for myself. What time do you think you're going to bed tonight? like 8pm. i'm exhausted. and i'd go to bed now if i didn't have to bowl tongiht. Well it’s already 3am and I’m nowhere near tired so. Which is funny because I have to be up at 9:00. How do you feel about the person who texted you last? i love him. He’s my best friend. Anything irritating you right now? pretty much always. Not really. I’m just being a Debbie Downer. Did the person that hurt you most apologize? yeah actually. idk how sincere it was though. or if he's just really bad at communicating. He did but I still don’t think he meant it, and I haven’t trusted him since. Yaknow, even though we’re married. Do you want to get married? maybe someday. i don't want kids though. at least not my own. I am. Would you ever get your lip pierced? yeah. Still thinking about it. Where would you like to live in the future? nashville. anywhere down south works but that's my first choice. georgia's a close second. I just want to go home. But if I didn’t miss Bradford so much I’d still choose Nashville. It’s fucking amazing. Would you be able to date someone who doesn't make you laugh? no. Never. What college do you plan on going to? uh...none. i want to get my cosmetology license buuuut i don't have the money for school. Oh my god WHY did I ever consider cosmetology? I wanted to go to Penn Tech for construction but obviously that’s never happening. Do you have good vision? it's not terrible. It’s much worse than the last time I took this. My old glasses are just prescription readers but I definitely need new ones. Did you speak to your father today? yep. No it’s been a couple days. What do you usually do right when you wake up? go back to sleep. Pee and smoke. Are you too shy to kiss the person you like? sometimes. he doesn't really give out the vibe that he wants to be kissed. kinda sad after being together for a year if you ask me, but oh well. No. Can a girl love sex and not be a whore? i love sex and i'm not a whore. i've only been with one person. so yeah. I mean yeah.  Hate the last person you kissed? sometimes. i love him more than anything though. Same answer. Are you someone who hates to read? used to love it. now it bores the shit out of me. I don’t read books anymore. Just fanfiction.   If you could change your eye color what would you change it to? i wouldn't. Never would. Do you think age matters in relationships? to an extent. Not between two consenting adults. Name of your first cat? steven. Steven was my first cat but he was a family pet. Marshall is the first cat I got living on my own so he’s all mine. And he fucking knows it. That’s my baby. Would you rather be at the beach or lake? lake. Lake for sure. I’ve never been to the beach and have no interest in it. What would you do if you found out the person you liked had a girlfriend/ boyfriend? i AM his girlfriend. I’m his wife sooo...I’d probably be pissed but not surprised. Do you feel like you have life figured out? nobody does. I wouldn’t even want to try. Ever dropped a cell phone? i throw it more than i drop it. Now I drop it more than I throw it. Who last hugged you? randa. Dave. Ever had a pet fish? no. Nope. Do you want your tongue pierced? no. Negative. Gross. Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? kind of. Not happy but slightly hopeful. There’s a house back home that I’ve loved for like ten years and it just went on the market so we’re going to look at it in about a week and a half. Last time you spoke to the person you have feelings for? in person, 2 nights ago. he just texted me a few minutes ago though. Texted him earlier. Haven’t seen him in person in over a week. Have you ever kissed 2 people at once? no. Nope. Was your last kiss drunk? no but it was severely hung over lol I don’t get drunk anymore. What are you listening to at the moment? nothing. i should be showering. Riverdale theories on Youtube. Your best friend has sex with your ex, what happens? haha...she's not retarded. she wouldn't do that. My best friend IS my ex. Do you think you will be married by the time you are 25? probably not. I got married a month before I turned 26. Whats the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today? shut off my alarm and went back to sleep. Took a piss like I do every day. Do you believe exes can be friends? sometimes. it just so happens that my exes are all crazy so we don't speak. You betcha. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a q? no. I don’t even know anyone whose name starts with a q. Where is the last person you kissed at right now? i would imagine he's on his way to work. Working. In Texas. Yes, at this hour. He’s on nights so like 4pm to 6am. Last person you held hands with in the past 24 hour? randa while she was walking. I haven’t even seen a human being in the past 24 hours. Would you go on a road trip with your friends? i've been dying to. I think I was just in love with the idea. Because now the thought of a road trip terrifies me. I hate traffic. Would you shave your entire body (including your head)? no. I don’t shave. Except my vagina when I have the opportunity to get laid. Which is rare because I only see my husband one week out of the month. And even then he doesn’t bother with me. Did you sleep alone last night? unfortunately. I sleep alone almost every night. Have you ever kissed just a friend? yeah. Sure. Did you have any unread text messages when you woke up today? no. Well “today” I woke up at 2:30 in the morning yesterday. But yeah I did. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? i know they do. i don't give a shit cuz i probably talk about them too. Don’t care. Is it possible to be single and happy? yes. I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been happy, single or in a relationship. Everyone deserves a second chance, right? not remotely true. Nope. Did you stand on your tippy-toes when you had your last kiss? i don't think i had the strength to. No. Who was the last person to call you? wes. My doctor’s office. Think back to this time last year, were you happy? i was getting there. No. Do you smoke weed everyday? nope. I haven’t smoked weed in years. Have you broken the law in the past 5 days? probably. Don’t think so. Do you have siblings over the age of 21? yep. My sister is pushing 40. lol Have you kissed someone with braces? no. I have not. Did your last kiss take place on a bed? no - my entry way/mudroom thing. Living room. What was bad about today? ha. Nothing really. This is just my permanent state of being. What's been your biggest shock this year? nothing shocks me anymore. I can’t think of anything. Currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? several. Oh hell yes. Can you call the last person you kissed without it being awkward? not really cuz we both hate talking on the phone. i mean it's not awkward just out of character. No. Phone conversations are always awkward, no matter who they’re with. Who was the last person you had sleepover with? i mean i stay at dave's on the weekends but it's not really sleepovers...it's just staying there. I’m almost 30. I don’t have sleepovers. Do you like family get-togethers? well i don't like my family. so no. Complete opposite of my previous answer. I miss my family so much and only get to see them a few times a year.   Do you hate the last person who called you? nope. I don’t have an opinion one way or the other. If you are being extremely quiet, what does that mean? could mean anything. I don’t feel like talking. Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone? no. The cats. Do you like to spend time with people? occasionally. Very rarely. Do you want a relationship right now? i'm in one and yes i want it. Obviously. Where did you last fall asleep other than a bed? couch. I mostly sleep on the couch. Have you ever been called heartless? usually. Not in a while.