#not supposed to have power until 10pm tomorrow

[darkwood-sleddog]

Okay the “fun” of a power outage has lost its luster..

[study-coffee-chicago]

Three Strikes (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine

When you moved in with Jay and Will after your dad had died, they had devised a three-strike system for punishments. Seeing as you were only fifteen and had lost both parents, they knew that they'd be dealing with some teenage angst. So, they had decided on this...and it would help them not be super overprotective, while still allowing you to be a teenager. But, make no mistake, Jay could turn what you saw as one strike into three strikes with a snap of his fingers. Much like his day job as a cop, he could find another thing or two to charge you with that you hadn't thought of before. And, well, bad luck comes in threes. If you thought your first three strikes of this week were going to be bad, you were in for a ride when another two came along.

***

Strike One

"How's it going, kid?" Hermann asked as you walked through the back entrance of Molly's.

"Good, school's normal," you answered, setting your backpack down and then going over to the sink to wash your hands. You brought your backpack in case it was slow because then you could get some reading or studying in.

"How close are you to getting those tickets?" he asked, grabbing a crate of glasses.

"I've got $350 so far, so halfway there. Mind if I listen to music back here?"

"Knock yourself out. But, you know the rules, one headphone so if I need you out there--which I shouldn't and can't because you're too young, but you know what I mean-- if we're slow and I need you to clean tables, you'll be able to hear me."

"Copy that, boss," you joked.

Hermann left with his crate of glasses and went to the front of the house, while you put in a headphone and shuffled one of your favorite playlists to work to. Then, you turned your attention to the dirty glasses and snack plates on the counter that needed to be washed.

***

You were hurrying to put some glasses away on a shelf behind the bar when you heard a voice you knew all too well.

"One of your finest IPAs, Hermann."

Shit. If he was done for the day, then that meant...

"Sure thing, officer," Hermann joked as you quickly pushed through the door and into the back, nearly knocking into Stella.

"Whoa there, Y/N, slow down. What's got you all in a hurry?"

"I just remembered I have a geometry test tomorrow," you lied. "You mind if I slip out now so I have a bit more time to study?"

"Yeah, no problem. I'll let Hermann know. Good luck on the test and don't study too late!"

"I would never!"

Then, you quickly slipped on your jacket and hat, grabbed your backpack, and walked out the backdoor.

All you could think on your three-block walk home was that Jay better not be home, because if he was,  you were so dead.

Jay typically got home around 11pm, and your shift at Molly's ended around 10:30...and your curfew was 10pm. And, because you were only fifteen and couldn't drive yet, it took you about fifteen minutes to walk home, so you'd get home around 10:45 and get all situated to make it looked like you had been studying for at least an hour before Jay got home.

You slowly turned the doorknob to go into the house, hoping that he'd be at the gym or out with Hailey. When you got inside and saw that all the lights were off, you breathed a sigh of relief and started up the stairs to your bedroom.

"I don't know where she is, Will! If I knew where she was I wouldn't be calling you now would I?" you heard Jay yell into his phone from his room.

Shit, shit, shit.

You were starting to walk back down the hallway and go back downstairs, maybe walk to the 24-hour coffee shop near your house and call him and tell him that you had lost track of time studying when you heard a door being forcefully flung open.

Run outside or freeze? Run outside or freeze? He'd see me either way and if I ran it would just make me look guilty, but maybe--

"Where have you been?" You were snapped out of your thoughts by Jay's loud voice booming down the hallway. He marched closer to you as you just stared at him with wide eyes. He crossed his arms across his chest. "Well?"

"I was at the library." But, it came out sounding more like a question.

"Wanna try again? Tell me the truth this time."

"I..." You sighed. Here goes your perfect plan of surprising your brothers with hockey tickets. "I was working at Molly's."

"If you're gonna lie, at least put some effort into it, for me," Jay groaned, throwing his head back.

"I'm telling the truth!"

Jay snorted. "Yeah right. Phone now."

"I'm telling you the truth, Jay! I was there because..."

"Because, why?"

"Uh, forget it." At least, this way you wouldn't have to ruin the surprise.

"Yeah, I knew you were out somewhere you shouldn't have been."

You held your phone in your hand. "I only have one strike. I get to keep it." You raised your eyebrow, daring your brother to challenge your logic.

Jay shook his head and looked down and laughed.

"What's so funny?" you demanded.

"That you think you're right." You opened your mouth to reply, but Jay stopped you. "Strike number one, breaking curfew. But, you knew that. Strike number two, lying to me about where you were because you told me two different places, so at least one, if not both places, were lies. And strike three--care to turn on your phone?"

"Why?"

"You hand me your phone and it turns off or is dead because you ran out of battery, you can keep it. If not, and you turned it off so I wouldn't know where you were, then I get to keep it for a while. Now, hand it over."

You sighed and handed it to Jay. He pressed the home button and when it didn't turn on, he looked at you. "Anything you wanna say?"

"No."

He held down on the power button and the screen became illuminated. When it turned on, he saw the battery percentage. "61%. Guess this is mine for the time being."

"Jay," you whined.

"Don't Jay me. You brought this on yourself. Now, you might wanna get to bed since you have school tomorrow."

"When will I get my phone back?"

"When I say you can have it back."

You groaned and turned around to go to your room and get ready for bed.

"Goodnight to you, too!" Jay yelled at your retreating back.

***

"Grounded, huh?" Will asked when you walked inside after school the next day.

"Jesus, Will!" You jumped. "You scared me." Will chuckled. "What are you doing here?"

"I am babysitting you."

"Jay put you up to this?"

"Yup."

"God, I'm 15," you whined. "He can't trust me for a few hours until he gets home?"

"He did trust you. But, then you snuck off and broke curfew and turned your phone off so he couldn't track you, so you needing a babysitter is warranted."

"Really? You're supposed to agree with me here!"

"No can do. I'm with Jay on this one. Where did you go anyway?"

"I was working under the table at Molly's."

Will scoffed. "Yeah right. If it's so bad that you have to pretend to be working, maybe I don't wanna know. But, Jay's a cop. He'll find out eventually."

"There's nothing to find out. I didn't do anything wrong!" You turned on your heel and started up the stairs. "I'm going to my room to do homework...since I obviously can't do anything else because I'm grounded."

An hour later, Will told you that he had gotten called in to work since there was a multi-vehicle crash and he was needed at Med ASAP. So, he left you home. And, since it was only 5:00, you figured you could get a few hours of work in at Molly's. After all, Hermann didn't know you were grounded.

***

Strike Two

You started your walk home around 10:30 as you normally did. You hadn't seen anyone from Intelligence (or Med) at Molly's when you left, so you hoped Jay wasn't home and that Will was so busy that he hadn't had time to come back and check on you. It's not like Will could call you because Jay had your phone. And, he had it at work with him. He wasn't that stupid that he'd leave it at home because he knew you'd tear the place apart in search of it.

Everything was going fine, except for the fact that you were checking over your shoulder every minute because it was dark and you didn't have your phone. Everything was fine...until you got halfway home.

You started to climb up a snowbank like you had when you were little when you, Jay, and Will would play king of the mountain and push each other off. (Well, they pushed each other off. If they so much as tried to push you, your mom would drag them in by their ear.) Everything was fine...until you got to the top of it.

Whoever had plowed the past few days had done a really shitty job of making sure all the snow was there because, before you knew it, your foot sunk into the top of the snowbank, which was two times your height, and then you fell. When you tried to use your hands to push yourself up, all the snow came falling down around you and you plummeted to the bottom of the snowbank, the sides of it wrapped around you.

You tried to grab on to mounds of snow and use them as leverage to pull yourself out, but it didn't work. The minute you thought you were getting somewhere, it would just fall down and you'd be back where you started. You tried to carve out spots to put your hands and feet, like a rock-climbing wall, but the minute you'd get your foot in, it'd break because of the weight and more snow would fall. You thought that if enough fell from the sides, that eventually it'd get shallower and you'd be able to get out, but then a plow came. It pushed more snow on the pile, making it so that you were standing up straight and barely had room to turn around now.

You took off one of your gloves and threw it out and onto the pile. Hopefully, someone would find you by seeing your glove and looking there. But, you knew it was a long shot as neither Will nor Jay knew you had been at Molly's. And, no one at Molly's knew the route you used to walk home.

"Help!" you yelled.

God, it was so cold.

***

Jay entered the house fully expecting you to run up to him and beg for your phone back...not that he'd give it to you anyway. But, when he got there, all the lights were off. He ventured upstairs and into your room, which was dark as well. It was 11:30, an hour and a half past curfew even if you weren't grounded.

Will had texted him earlier that evening to tell him that he had to go into work because there was a big car accident, and since Jay was suiting up to go into the field, it's not like he could just call someone else to watch you or go home himself. So, he decided to trust that you wouldn't leave the house. Apparently, he was wrong.

Jay pulled out his phone and quickly dialed Will's number. "Will!" he yelled into the phone. "Do you know where Y/N went? She's not here!"

"Shit," he muttered. "I have no idea. Track her-- oh yeah, you took her phone."

Jay rubbed a hand over his face. "Did she at least tell you where she went last night?"

"She told me that she was working under the table at Molly's. So, I assumed that she was doing something really bad if she had to lie that she was working. I shouldn't have come to Med. I'm sorry, man."

"No, it's your job. I should've found someone to stay with her that wasn't on call. I'm gonna go look for her."

"I'll keep my phone on me. Call if you have any updates."

Jay clipped his badge back onto his belt and reholstered his gun. Then, he walked out to his car and got in, intent on finding you.

As he was driving, he called another person who he knew would calm him down in times of stress: Hailey.

"Hey, Jay. What's up?" she asked as she answered the phone. After all, they hadn't been apart for half an hour at this point.

"Hails, can you call the team for me?"

"What? Why? What's going on, Jay?"

"Y/N. I told you that she was grounded and Will was watching her and then he got called into work. So, he left her at home and when I got home, she- she was gone."

"Okay, I'll call everyone. Did she give you any hint of where she went? Maybe mentioned it to you last night or Will today?"

"Yesterday she told me she was at the library and then she told me she was working at Molly's...which I'm pretty sure are both lies. But, then today she told Will she had been working under the table at Molly's. So, I honestly really don't know where to start."

"I know it's a long shot, but start at Molly's. If you don't get anything from there, we'll regroup at the district."

"Okay, thanks, Hails. If I get anything at Molly's, I'll call you or send a text to the group chat."

"No problem. We'll find her."

Ten minutes later, a very determined Jay Halstead walked into Molly's.

"Hey, Jay," Stella said. "What can I get for you? Adam just left if that's who you were looking for."

"No, I'm actually wondering if you've seen Y/N? She told me and Will this BS that she was working under the table here, so it's the first place I thought I'd check."

"She didn't tell you?" Stella asked, sliding a beer down the bar to Kelly.

"Tell me what?"

"She was working here, Jay. She'd work until about 10:30 and then she'd go home."

"What? You can't be serious."

"I've seen her around a few times," Kelly supplied. "Thought you guys knew about it. Good way for her to make some extra cash and since it's under the table, no taxes."

"So she did tell me the truth last night. God, I'm such a jerk."

"Why are you looking for her?" Kelly asked. "She not at home?"

"No, I got home and she wasn't there. And, I grounded her because she broke curfew and I thought she was lying about where she was last night, so I took her phone. Any chance either of you has seen her tonight?"

"She just left around an hour ago," Stella said.

"She did? You know where she went?"

"I think she just went home like she normally does. You need help looking? We can help. I can close since there's not many people here and we can help you."

"No, no, it's okay. My team's on it. Don't want Hermann to chew me out over lost business."

"I'll help," Kelly volunteered. "I'll also call Casey and Brett so if something happened and we need a medic, Brett's there."

God, Jay hadn't even thought about the fact that you might be hurt. He just assumed you had gone out partying.

"Okay, thanks. I'm gonna give Hailey a call and we'll go from there."

"Hailey," Jay started after walking to a secluded part of the bar. "Stella and Kelly both said that they had seen Y/N working at Molly's. And, that she got off work tonight at 10:30 and they assumed she just went home."

"Okay, the team's here. I'm putting you on speaker."

"Kelly said he'd call Brett and Casey to start looking for her, so I guess we just look for her. I don't know where she would've gone." He sighed. If he would've just believed you, this wouldn't have happened. If he would've just let you keep your phone this wouldn't have happened. It was all his fault that he couldn't find you.

"We can't put out a missing persons report yet since it's only been a little over an hour since someone last seen her. We'll meet you there. Start searching. One of us will find you and give you a vest. She couldn't have gotten far."

"Thanks, Sarge."

"Hey, Casey and Brett are on their way. They're stopping by the firehouse to grab jump bags just in case," Kelly said, finding Jay in a secluded corner.

Jay nodded.

"I've got some flashlights in my car," he supplied. "They should help us until your unit and Casey show up with more." He clapped Jay on the back. "We'll find her, man. If she was heading home, she couldn't have gotten far."

"Yeah, yeah, thanks, Kelly."

The two walked to his car and grabbed the flashlights. "We'll just start towards the right I guess. That's the quickest way to get home from here if she was walking."

***

"Jay!" Jay turned when he heard Hailey calling his name, running up to him with a vest in her hand.

"Hailey," Jay breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his girlfriend. At least she'd be here with him.

"Here." She handed him the vest. "You have your gun?"

"Yeah. And Severide gave me the flashlight."

"Brett! Casey!" Kelly yelled as he saw two more figures coming toward them, Brett carrying the two jump bags and Casey carrying more flashlights...which weren't needed now that Intelligence was here.

"How are we doing this?" Casey asked.

He looked to Jay, but this wasn't Jay's decision. It was Voight's. And Jay was glad his sergeant had recognized that because there was no way his head was clear enough to put together tactical plans.

"Hailey, Jay, and Severide take the way that you two were previously going. Take a jump bag. Adam, Kim, and Brett start going slightly to the right in a diagonal off of Jay and Hailey. Take a jump bag. Me, Kevin, and Casey will go to the left off of Jay and Hailey. Since there are only two jump bags, if we find her, we'll radio you for it."

"Copy."

The three groups started walking, all their attention on finding you. Jay put his hands in his vest, trying to keep them warm on this cold night. He didn't think he'd be out in the freezing cold searching for you, so he didn't have gloves or a hat with him.

"I, um, I should call Will," Jay said, breaking the silence. "Just to let him know that we're looking for her and that she wasn't lying to us."

"Hey, any sign of her?" Will asked as he picked up his phone on the second ring.

"No. Um, she wasn't lying to us. She was working at Molly's and she went there tonight when you left to go to work."

"And?"

"Stella said that she usually just goes straight home. So, we're looking with some help from Severide, Casey, and Brett."

"We?"

"Intelligence."

"Need me to come help? I'm sure they can find somebody to cover for me."

"No, no. I think we've got it under control. But, if we need more bodies to find her, I'll call you."

"Okay. Find her, Jay. You have to find her."

Jay hung up his phone with those words echoing in his mind. You have to find her. You have to find her.

"What's that?" Hailey asked as they approached a snowbank five minutes later.

"Looks like a glove," Kelly said as he walked closer.

He and Hailey started to slowly climb the snowbank, being careful not to fall through while Jay just stood there. He knew that glove. You had one just like it. But, it had to be a coincidence, right?

"Oh my God," Kelly said as he looked into the small hole in the snowbank, seeing you squished up against the edges, the hand that didn't have a glove blue. Your eyes were closed and your lips were a shade of blue.

"What?" Jay yelled, rushing up the snowbank.

Hailey was quick to stop him. "Jay, I need you to take a step back, okay? We have to get her out of here and we need to be rational about this."

"Get her out of this? Out of the snowbank?" She nodded. "You're telling me she fell into a fucking snowbank and she's stuck, half-frozen to death?"

Hailey nodded. Jay just stood there, staring at the hole you must've been in. Severide laid on his belly and started to reach in when Hailey stopped him.

"No sudden movements. We've gotta get her out slow with minimal movement."

"I know, I'm on squad. But, can you radio Brett for me? We might need her here so that she can take a look at her."

Severide reached in and slowly placed his hands under your armpits. Then, with slow movements, he pulled you out, careful not to jostle your body and pull you straight up and out.

"Jay, can you come and grab her legs? Help me lay her down?"

"Uh, yeah," he replied, snapping out of his trance.

He crouched down and grabbed your legs just as Brett, Adam, and Kim came running over.

"Keep her steady," Brett ordered. "No sudden movements." The two boys started to lower you to the ground when Sylvie stopped them. "She can't be in direct contact with the ground. I need something warm on the ground first. A jacket or something."

As soon as Sylvie said that, Adam ripped off his vest and took off his coat. "Will this work?"

"Yeah, that should work. Just set it down and then they can carefully lower her."

They did as the PIC told them.

"I've got a pulse. It's slow but it's there," Sylvie said after she had pressed her fingers to your neck.

Jay crouched down and put his hands over his mouth to stop a sob from tearing through his body.

Somehow though, he found enough of his voice to speak into his radio, "This is 50-21 George. I need you to roll an ambo to my current location. We have a fifteen-year-old female hypothermia victim."

"Okay, whoever can brave the cold and take off your jacket, I need you to do it now. We need to keep her covered until an ambo gets here. Kelly, pass me the warm, dry compress from the jump bag."

While Jay shed his coat and Hailey radioed the rest of the team to let them know that you had been found, Kelly helped Sylvie with the compress. "I'm going to lift her head and then I need you to put the compress under her neck," Sylvie instructed.

"Okay," Kelly said. Sylvie gently lifted your head and Kelly slid the warm compress underneath. Then, he laid your head back down.

She turned to see Jay rummaging through his jump bag, activating two more compresses.

"What are you doing?" she asked him, stepping away from you and to your very worried brother.

"Putting more on her. What does it look like I'm doing?"

She was taken aback by his tone, but didn't take it personally because she'd probably do the same thing if it was her sibling in this situation...and he also wasn't a trained paramedic.

"If you're gonna put one on her, just place it on her chest."

"What about the rest of her body? Her arms? Legs?"

"Jay, I know you're worried about her. But if you put them on her arms or legs, the cold blood will go back towards her heart and lungs, lowering her core temperature even more. We need to try and increase her core temperature, not decrease it."

"Here." He handed her a compress. "For her chest."

"Thank you."

Then, they heard sirens in the distance. Jay just hoped this was enough for now.

***

"Incoming!" Maggie yelled to the already overrun ED. "Fifteen-year-old female, hypothermia. Fell into a snowbank. Used dry, warm compresses in the field, and paramedics put warming blankets on her in the ambo, but they said they need something more than that with how low her core temperature was."

Will ran towards the doors as they opened and revealed the paramedics, followed by none other than his little brother. And, on the gurney, there you were, eyes closed, breathing slowly, a nasal cannula underneath your nose.

"Get her into treatment two," Will said.

"Will, you can't treat her," Maggie said.

"You see another doctor that's free, Maggie?" She raised her eyebrows at him. "I didn't think so. It's not like I'm performing surgery. Hopefully, this will be standard rewarming and shouldn't take that long."

"Fine."

Will entered treatment two just as they moved you from the gurney to the bed. He listened to your heart and determined that that was fine, as were your lung sounds. Then, he moved on to taking your temperature.

"Ninety-three degrees Fahrenheit," Will declared. "Monique, start an IV of one unit of warm saline and we'll get more re-warming blankets."

"Yes, Dr. Halstead."

"Jay," Will said and motioned for him to follow him out of the treatment room. "What happened?" he asked once the two were out of the room.

"We found her in a snowbank. She must've climbed it on the way home and fell in. She couldn't get out. Kelly pulled her out and then Brett came and-- Oh God. If she wasn't there, I could've killed her, Will. I could've killed our little sister."

"Jay, take a breath. She's okay now. She's in good hands. What do you mean you could've killed her?"

"Brett started to get those compress things out and I thought I was helping, so I started getting more. And- and, I almost put them on her legs and arms. If Brett wasn't there to stop me, I could've stopped her heart. God, I could've killed her, Will. It would've been all my fault."

"Jay, listen to me. You didn't do that. So, stop thinking about it. She's fine." He looked up and saw all of Intelligence coming into the ED waiting room along with Brett, Casey, and Severide. "Now, I think you should go tell them that she's gonna be okay. Tell Brett good job for me, too."

Jay nodded and walked away from his older brother, trying to will the tears in his eyes to go away.

"How is she?" Kelly asked when Jay entered the waiting room.

"Her temp is 93, so she's still got a ways to go. But, Will just mentioned standard rewarming, so hopefully, that's a good sign. Brett, he said to tell you good job."

Sylvie nodded and Jay took a seat next to Kelly. He put his head in his hands.

Kelly placed a hand on Jay's shoulder. "Hey, it's gonna be okay. Sounds like it's not anything too serious."

"Yeah, but if I wouldn't have taken her phone or I would've just believed her, we wouldn't be in this mess."

"It's not your fault. She was trying to keep it a secret from you anyway. Wanted to surprise you."

This piqued Jay's interest. "Surprise me? What do you mean?"

"She was saving up money to buy you guys opening night tickets to the Blackhawks next season, that's why she didn't want to tell you because she wanted to surprise you and Will with them."

"God, she was trying to do something nice and I grounded her for it."

"Jay," Hailey started, walking up to him with two cups of coffee, "you did what you were supposed to do with the information you had at the time. This isn't your fault. It was a freak accident. It could've happened to anyone who climbed that snowbank. Hell, it could've happened to us when we climbed it tonight."

"I guess you're right. Thanks for the coffee, babe."

"Wait. Are you two...?" Kelly trailed off.

"Yes, it's no big deal. We signed the HR forms and everything," Hailey answered as Jay sipped his coffee and tried to stop blaming himself for what happened.

***

You slowly opened your eyes and your first thought was I'm cold. Why am I so cold? You pulled the blankets closer to you, but then you realized that they weren't the blankets from your bed, but thick, heated blankets.

"W-What?" You started to talk, but your teeth chattered while doing so.

"You gave us quite the scare earlier," Will said as he walked over with a thermometer. "Now open."

"Why am-am I--"

"Jay can explain all that while this thermometer takes your temperature. Now open and lift up your tongue."

You did as your doctor brother told you and opened your mouth and he placed the thermometer in. You looked at Jay expectantly.

"God, you scared me so much. When I found you in that snowbank..."

"I'm s-sorry," you said with the thermometer still in your mouth. Will gave you a pointed look and you clamped your mouth shut until it beeped.

"Ninety-five. That's the cut-off for me letting you go against medical advice...but lucky for me, you're minor, so me and Jay get to decide when you can go home," Will started after he removed the thermometer. "And, I think we're keeping you here until you reach at least 97."

"Will," you whined.

"Sorry, Y/N. Will's the doctor here, so what he says goes," Jay said.

"Please remember that next time you inevitably end up in here," Will retorted.

"Not a chance." Then, Jay turned back to you. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I know you were just trying to surprise us."

"I was scared," you said. "I thought I was gonna die there."

"I wasn't gonna let that happen. You want me to get you something warm to drink while you tell Will why you were working at Molly's?" You nodded. "Decaf caramel macchiato? No way are you getting caffeine."

"Yes please."

Jay left and Will turned to you. "What were you trying to surprise us with, Short Stack?" he asked, using your nickname.

"I was trying to save up money to get us tickets to the Blackhawks home opener in October." You shivered. "Can I have another blanket. I'm still c-cold." Your teeth chattered once more.

"Of course." He retrieved another heated blanket and wrapped it around you. "Why didn't you tell us you were working at Molly's under the table?"

"I thought you g-guys would be m-mad because it would get in the way of school. So, I d-didn't tell you. I didn't want t-to wreck the surprise. I was-wasn't lying to you when you asked me where I was."

"I know that now. I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier. You just have to see it from my and Jay's perspective though. You working was the last thing on our minds, so we just assumed the worst."

Jay came back with your large decaf caramel macchiato. "I got it extra hot."

He went to hand it to you, but you yawned. "I'm t-tired."

"I know you are. It's past one in the morning," Will replied, looking at his watch. "But, I want you to drink at least half of this before you go back to sleep, help you get your core temperature back up."

"Okay." You took the coffee from Jay and set it on the tray in front of you.

"Thank you. I'm sorry for everyth-thing."

"I know. It's okay. I'm just glad you're safe." He pulled your phone from his pocket. "I believe this belongs to you."

You took it from his outstretched hand. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. It'll give you something to pass the time while drinking half of that."

***

"You called in reinforcements?" you hissed at Jay when you, him, and Will walked into the house around 8 am the next morning...well, the same morning, but you considered 1 am to be nighttime.

"Hey!" Jay protested. "They just wanted to see how you were doing. Kelly was the one who actually got you out of the snowbank and Stella was about ready to shut down Molly's to help us look for you."

"I bet Hermann would've been thrilled about that," you said sarcastically.

"That's what I said! And, Hailey's just here because, well, she's Hailey."

"And they love each other," Will chirped, earning himself a smack on the back of the head from Jay and a glare from Hailey. "You guys are no fun!"

"My house, my rules," Jay remarked.

"I thought that only applied to Y/N."

"Nope, applies to you, too. Speaking of Y/N..." Jay trailed off and turned to you. "Go park it on the couch."

"Fine. Just let me go get changed first."

You walked into your room and changed into your favorite pair of joggers and a hoodie along with some kitty cat slippers. You then grabbed your favorite blanket and wrapped it around you and grabbed your phone charger, too. Your temperature was still about one degree below average, but Will and Jay had agreed to let you come home on the condition that you'd just stay on the couch and drink warm beverages and relax.

"Do they meow, too?" Severide asked as you sat on the couch.

"Do what meow?"

"Your slippers. Do they meow?"

"No, no they do not, Kelly. They're just comfy."

"And for a four-year-old," Will chirped.

"Honestly, at this point, I wish you guys would've just left me in that snowbank. Then I wouldn't have to deal with your annoying asses."

"Jay!" Will yelled.

"What?" he hollered back from the kitchen where he and Hailey were busy concocting your mom's famous chicken soup recipe.

"Y/N swore! She needs to put money in the swear jar!"

"The swear jar?" Kelly laughed. "Jay actually does one of those? Because if you could've heard him last night, he'd be putting at least twenty bucks in there."

You smiled at Kelly and made your way into the kitchen, the aroma of chicken soup hitting you immediately.

"Smells good in here," you remarked, causing Jay to turn around from where he was stirring the soup at the stove. Then he moved a few feet and reached up on top of the fridge where the swear jar was located and held it out to you. You shook your head. "No."

"Did you or did you not swear?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. Hailey just stood next to him with a small smile on her face and it was clear that she was trying to stop herself from laughing.

"I did, but--"

"No buts. You either did or you didn't."

"Jay, be nice," Hailey scolded. "She just got hypothermia from falling in a snowbank. The least you could do is let her off the hook for swearing."

"Yeah, listen to Hailey. And, Kelly said you swore a lot last night when you were trying to find me, so if I have to put a dollar in there, he said that you should have to put twenty dollars in there."

"That's not how this works. The rule is if you swear around us or we swear around you. And, if I recall correctly, you weren't there because we were freezing our as- our butts off looking for you."

"Ooooh, good catch, Halstead," Hailey laughed. "You almost had to put even more money in the swear jar."

"Even more money? What are you talking about?"

"I'm with Y/N on this one. If you make her put money in, you have to put at least a twenty in for all the swearing you did last night."

"Fine," Jay whined. "You don't have to put any money in, but just this once. Now, would you please let me finish making the soup? And, you need to go lay on the couch."

"I love how Will didn't yell at me for getting up, but you, the non-doctor of the family, are."

"Technically, I didn't yell. Yelling was what I did when I took your phone away."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going, going." You waved him off and headed back to the couch.

"You really suck, Will. Do you know that? At least Kelly and Hailey have my back because if Hailey wasn't in there, he would've made me put money in there."

"Hey, don't blame me. You were the one who said it. I just ratted you out."

"Snitches get stitches."

"I'm the one who actually knows how to perform stitches, you, on the other hand, do not."

"My God," Stella laughed. "It's like watching a reality show seeing you three all in the same room."

"Child," Jay said as he handed you a bowl of chicken soup along with a spoon.

"Good Lord, Jay. I'm fifteen."

"I know. You're still a child though since you're a minor."

"You're a minor," you mocked. "And you both are annoying, so I say we play a game."

"See? Like I said, reality show," Stella reiterated. "What game?"

"Never have I ever." Everyone groaned when you said that. "Hey, I'm the one who was stuck in the hospital, so I think you can all put up with this game."

"Fine," Kelly agreed, and then the others did, too.

"We'll go youngest to oldest," Will stated. "So, you start, Y/N."

You smirked. "Never have I ever gotten married in Vegas."

"Low blow, Y/N!" Jay yelled as both he and Kelly put a finger down and Kelly threw his head back and laughed.

***

Strike Three

That night, you quickly fell asleep. It felt like you had been asleep for hours when in reality it had only been two. You hugged your blankets tighter around your body as you started to shiver. You laid there and tried to fall asleep for who knows how long as a cold sweat started to break out on your forehead, back, and chest. God, you didn't want to get up, but you felt like something was wrong, so you slowly got up--still wrapped in a blanket--and made your way over to the guest bedroom where you knew Will would be sleeping.

"Will," you whispered as you walked into the guest room. He didn't stir. "Will." You tried again, this time louder, and you stepped closer and shook his shoulder.

"Hmmm," he groaned as he rolled over and fluttered his eyelids open. But, the minute he saw it was you, he knew he needed to be awake. "Short Stack?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Are you okay? You don't usually wake me up at night." He sat up and turned on the bedside lamp. Then, he saw your sweaty face. "Are you feeling sick?"

You nodded. "I feel really cold, but I'm sweating."

Will reached over and put the back of his hand to your forehead. "You feel a little warm. C'mon, let's go take your temperature. Your legs hurt?"

That was one of the tell-tale signs of you having a fever, your legs hurting.

"Not yet," you answered.

Then, you went to the kitchen--as Will had left the thermometer and his medical bag at the kitchen table--and sat down. You took the thermometer from Will and put it under your tongue.

When it beeped, you took it out and handed it to him. "100.5," he read.

You groaned. "What is going on? First, my temperature was too low and then it stabilized and now it's too high. I just wanna sleep, Will. I'm so tired."

Will shushed you. "The lovebirds are sleeping."

"You know, if Jay heard you say that, he'd hit you, right?"

"Well, good thing he's sleeping. Now, go back to bed and I'll check on you in a few hours. Come get me if your legs start hurting, though."

You nodded and went back to bed. You tossed and turned and tried to get comfortable. You stuck one leg out from under the covers, but then you were too cold, despite half your body still being covered, so you settled on just letting your foot stick out. But, after forty-five minutes of that, you got super cold again and got up to retrieve the extra blanket you had set of the chair of your desk.

The first thing that you noticed when you stood up was how much your legs ached.

"Shit," you muttered.

You grabbed a blanket from your bed and wrapped it around you and grabbed the one from your desk chair and did the same thing. Then, you walked down the hall and to the guest bedroom.

"Will," you whispered as you poked your head in the room.

"Yeah?" he asked as he rolled over and turned on the lamp. He must not've fallen back to sleep after you had woken him up the first time.

"My legs hurt."

"Okay, let's go back to the kitchen and re-take your temperature, see if it went up."

You nodded tiredly as he got out of bed.

"You gonna fall over? Need me to help you get to the kitchen?" he asked as he approached you still standing in the doorway.

"No, I think I can walk," you answered.

You made it to the kitchen without falling over and then took a seat at the spot you had been just an hour ago. You stuck the thermometer in your mouth once more and waited for it to beep.

Will was rummaging around through the cupboard--and making a lot of noise, so he'd probably be the one who ended up waking the lovebirds up as he liked to call them--so you read the reading on the thermometer to him. "101.1 Went up point six degrees."

"Ah, found it." He grabbed the bottle of Tylenol and filled a glass of water and handed the two things to you. "Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna take this, drink the entire glass of water and I mean the entire glass, and then you're gonna take a lukewarm bath. Hopefully, that'll lower your temperature."

You nodded, your eyelids heavy. You did as you were told and then handed him the pill bottle. When he closed the cupboard, his hand slipped, resulting in the door of it slamming shut and it echoing throughout the house.

"Fuck," he muttered.

"Swear jar," you whispered.

"Yeah, yeah," Will replied with a way of his hand. "I don't keep money in my pajamas, so I'll put a dollar in, in the morning."

"The hell was that?" Jay asked loudly, rushing into the kitchen with his gun raised.

Will threw his hands up in a sign of surrender. "Whoa, man! Don't point that thing at me! What do you think I'm trying to do? Rob you?"

Jay set his gun on the counter. "Sorry about that. What are you two doing up? It's--" He checked the time on the microwave. "--2:11 in the morning." Will motioned towards you. "Did her temperature drop or something?"

"It didn't drop, it increased."

"Well, that's good, right?"

"It was good when she hit the average temperature, but now she's got a fever of 101.1."

"Shit."

"Swear jar...for both of you."

Jay groaned and Hailey entered the kitchen. After explaining to her what was going on, she offered to help you into the bath because your legs were so achy.

But, you knew that Will would want to periodically check on you even if Hailey was in there, so you changed into a pair of spandex, a sports bra, and a crappy tank top while Will started the bath.

"Have her stay in here for about twenty minutes and then I'll be back in to check her temperature," Will told Hailey and then he retreated back to the kitchen to talk to his brother.

Hailey knocked on your bedroom door and you said she could come in. "How do you want to do this?" she asked. "Want me to keep you steady on the way to the bathroom, or do you just need help getting the tub?"

"Just need help getting in," you told her. But, as you walked out of your room, down the hall, and into the bathroom, she stayed right next to you in case she needed to catch or steady you.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Jay was feeling like an idiot with all the medical talk Will was doing.

"So, how'd she get a fever if she was just in the hospital with hypothermia less than 24 hours ago?" Jay asked.

"It's the rebound effect. It's rare, but it's a pathophysiological thing where some people get pyrexia after hypothermia especially if ischemia occurs."

Jay blinked rapidly. "English please?"

Will sighed, he sometimes forgot that people around him didn't know all the medical terminology like the back of their hand like he did. "It's a rebound effect, which is rare. And, it's when there's a disordered process in the body after a disease or injury. In Y/N's case, it's a disordered process that's happening in her body after her temperature had regulated after the hypothermia. So, some people get a fever--which in the medical world is called pyrexia--when ischemia happens, which is a fancy for an organ not getting enough blood supply. Didn't you say that Y/N had a faint pulse when you found her?"

"Yeah," Jay answered. "Brett took her pulse once we pulled her out and she said it was slow."

"Okay, so because the heart was pumping slower, it meant that less blood was circulating, which could mean there was less blood to her other organs, so we could be looking at ischemia."

"Could?"

"That, or she could have a mild case of pneumonia. That happens more with patients who are treated for hypothermia. Ischemia happens more in patients whose hypothermia went untreated for a longer amount of time."

"But, I didn't hear her cough at all."

"You can have pneumonia without a cough. It's not common, but it can still happen. We just have to wait and see if she starts hacking up a lung or if her fever gets up to 103, then we'll bring her in."

"Hey guys," Hailey said as she walked into the kitchen. "We have a problem."

Jay's eyes widened and he sprinted to the bathroom, ever the overprotective brother. Will retrieved his medical bag and followed him.

"You have got to be kidding me," Jay whispered. "It takes her like half an hour on average to fall asleep each night, but she falls asleep in ten minutes here? In the bathtub of all places? What do we do?"

"We have no choice but to wake her up," Will said.

"But she's been saying she's so tired."

"I know, but we can't let her sleep in the bathtub."

"You said what, twenty minutes before you have to take her temperature again?" Hailey asked and Will nodded. She checked the timer on her phone. "She's got a bit more than seven minutes left. How about we just let her sleep until the timer goes off and then we wake her up, take her temperature, and get her back to bed?"

"That is actually a good plan. And, not getting her out of the tub until the timer goes off could help her fever go down a bit more."

"I'm full of good ideas," Hailey joked.

Seven minutes later, you squeezed your eyes tightly shut and then opened them when you heard the sound of an alarm go off. "Hmmm. What happened?" you mumbled, rubbing your eyes with your wet hands.

"You fell asleep is what happened," Will answered. "Now open."

"But I'm in the bathtub. How did I..." you trailed off. "Oh."

"And I thought Jay was terrible at remembering things," Will chirped.

"Shut up. My body's fighting something. My energy isn't going to my memory or common sense at the moment."

You put the thermometer in your mouth and waited until it beeped for the third time tonight. Then, you handed it to Will.

"101.1 still," he read. "No change. Are you feeling any better worse? Legs hurt more or less?"

"I feel the same. I don't know about my legs because I'm sitting down."

"Here," Hailey said holding an arm out. "Grab on to me and I'll help you. Can one of you grab a towel?"

Jay went to the closet to grab a towel and you grabbed on to Hailey's arm. As you stood up, your legs ached a bit, but not more or less than before. But, you were only standing up. You hadn't taken a step yet.

You placed a foot on the ground and walked a few steps to where Jay was standing, holding a towel out to you. As you took those steps, you felt the familiar ache in your calves. It was stronger than it had been when you had gotten in bath.

God, it was like someone was rolling a rolling pin up and down your calves and pressing it into your muscles.

"Will," you whined once you had successfully wrapped the towel around your wet body. "It hurts. My legs hurt so bad."

Will all but shoved Jay out of the way and crouched down a bit. "Tilt your head back for me." You did as he said and Will moved his fingers to feel around your neck, specifically in the area of your lymph nodes. "Quite a bit more swollen than I would've liked to see them, but we'll check back in the morning. Any sore throat, coughing?"

"No, I just feel hot and cold and--" you stifled a yawn "--tired."

"Lean on me and then Hailey can help you get changed. If that's okay with you?" Will asked, turning his attention from you to Hailey.

"It's no problem."

"And then you can go right back to bed."

"Okay," you mumbled. And then, slowly but surely, you got down the hallway and into your bedroom.

Once you were changed, both of your brothers came in, Will bearing the disgusting "bubblegum" flavored liquid Benadryl and a small cup with blue liquid. Jay held a water bottle and a bowl.

"I know I gave you Tylenol about an hour and a half ago," Will started, "but, it was a low dose and since your fever didn't drop at all in the bath, I'm going to need you to take this."

He held the tube that contained the thick pink liquid out to you. "No," you whined. "Just give me more Tylenol."

"Y/N, this will make you tired so that you're able to sleep. And, Jay's out of Nyquil, so this was the only option I had. Please, just take it. You can chase it with this blue Gatorade I stole from Jay."

"You didn't steal it...this time. I let you have some," Jay clarified.

"Whatever. Point is, just please take the medicine."

"Fine," you mumbled and took the tube from him. You downed the medicine and made a face, immediately reaching for the Gatorade to wash the nasty taste out of your mouth. "That was gross."

"Sorry," Will apologized.

"Here's some water and a bowl in case you have to throw up," Jay told you as he set them on your bedside table.

"I don't feel nauseous."

"It's just a precaution. Now, we're gonna go back to bed. Need anything else?"

"No. Goodnight guys. 'Night Hailey. Thanks for helping me change. Probably would've fallen over if you weren't here to help."

***

"It's 10 am," Will said as he stood up from the couch the next morning. "I'm gonna go wake her up."

"Shouldn't we just let her sleep if she's sick?" Jay asked. "Thought you'd know that much since you're the doctor."

"Shut up. I have to take her temperature again. That Benadryl must've really knocked her out."

"It'll do that to you. Why do you think Mom would give it to us the night before school started? So we could sleep."

"Aww, did you guys get nervous?" Hailey joked.

"No. You know how most parents have their kids start to go to bed earlier about a week to two weeks before school starts back up?" Hailey nodded. "Yeah, our parents didn't do that. We just took some Benadryl and then we slept like babies and were well-rested for school," Jay explained.

"Well, I'm gonna go check on Y/N. Be back in a bit."

Will walked into your room to see you still fast asleep with your arm hanging off the bed. As he got closer, he noticed some discoloration on it...right where the IV had been.

"Shit," he muttered. He lightly touched your shoulder, causing you to stir a little. "Short Stack." You groaned. "Short Stack, you gotta wake up. It's past ten and I need to take your temperature."

You rubbed your eyes and sat up in bed. Then, you pulled your right arm close to you. Without looking at it, you started to scratch it.

"No!" Will grabbed your arm.

"Why? It's itchy." Then you looked down at it and saw that it was all red and had little bumps on it. It looked a little bit swollen, too. "Why's it look like that?" You shivered and pulled the blankets up around you.

"Still cold?" You nodded. "Legs still hurt?" You nodded once more. "But, to answer your question, it could be an infection from the IV. Or you could be having an allergic reaction to the meds...but we only gave you warm saline, so that wouldn't happen."

"Is that bad? And, can you take my temp--" Your teeth chattered from shivering. "--temperature so I can go back to sleep?"

"Yeah, don't know if you're gonna be able to go back to sleep." You reached for your arm to start itching the IV site, when Will clamped his hand around the spot. "No. You can't itch it. Because, if there's an infection in it, I don't want you tearing the skin and getting it even more infected."

"Then put some anti-itch cream on it from your medical bag. I'm sure you have some in there."

"I have some, but I don't know what you have, so I don't know how it will react. But, I can put some medical tape on it."

You rubbed your eyes and threw your blanket off of you. "Why am I so hot? I was just super cold two seconds ago."

"Because you have a fever. I know it sucks, but I need you to hold your arm out to me so I can tape it up."

You held your arm out and reluctantly allowed him to tape it.

"Are you hungry?" he asked. "I can make you something cold like a smoothie?" You shook your head. You didn't want anything cold. "Please? I'll make you a small one and I won't put any spinach in it. I know Jay puts spinach in them and it's huge and you have to drink the whole thing."

"Fine," you sighed. "Can you put mango chunks in it?"

"I can do that. No itching."

You sat on your bed and tried to go back to sleep, but you were stopped when Will came back in. He didn't lie. The smoothie was small and from the color you could tell he put mango chunks in it. He also held a thermometer.

"Before you drink this, I need to take your temperature."

You took the thermometer from him and waited for it to beep. And, you made the mistake of looking at the numbers when you took it out of your mouth. "Is this bad?" you asked as you held it to your oldest brother, your eyes going wide. "Am I gonna die?"

Will looked at the thermometer. "102.7 is high, but you aren't going to die. But, since your arm is itchy and it broke out in a rash at the IV site, I'm bringing you in. Drink your smoothie and then Hailey will be in to help you change." You opened your mouth to protest, but Will held up a hand to stop you. "And, yes, Hailey's going to help you because I don't want you falling over."

You nodded and picked up the smoothie. And, Will went back to tell your brother and Hailey what was going on.

"She getting better?" Jay asked as he poured himself another cup of coffee.

"Worse."

"Worse?" He set his coffee cup down and turned his full attention to Will. Hailey, who had been sitting at the table eating a banana, turned her attention to him as well.

"I think she has an infection at her IV site, which could be what is causing her fever. Her fever's 102.7 right now. I gave her a smoothie and I told her after she finishes that, that Hailey can help her change, and then she can get ready and we can go."

"Shouldn't we go now?" Jay asked.

"She's still fully conscious, not delirious, so I think that we can let her wash her face and brush her teeth before we leave. If she starts acting that way, we'll leave earlier. For now, I think it's okay as long as someone's with her when she's doing these things just because of how sore her legs are so she doesn't fall over."

"Alright. Second hospital visit in 36 hours? Med needs to give us Halsteads a frequent flyer card."

***

"Jay, do remember anyone else who gave Y/N an IV other than Monique? Monique's the short blond nurse, looks younger than she actually is." Will asked as he, Jay, and Hailey were sitting in the waiting area while you got your blood drawn.

Jay looked up at the ceiling and scrunched up his face. "Uh, I know there was someone else. I just don't remember the name or what they looked like." He closed his eyes and thought for a few more seconds, trying to conjure up an image. "Oh! It was a kid."

"A kid?" Will asked. "Man, I don't think you slept enough last night."

"Kid as in he was younger than us. He said he was a med student."

"Any more details? Know what he looked like?"

"Jeez, Jay. I think we might have another Halstead detective on our hands. He might even be better than you," Hailey joked.

"Babe, you're supposed to stroke my ego, not crush it," Jay replied with a fake pouty face. "But, to answer your question, second detective Halstead, the kid was white, kinda scrawny."

"Okay, I'm gonna go check with Earl, see if I can get him to pull up the security footage from two nights ago. You remember what time the med student came in?"

"Two, three in the morning maybe? I was in and out at that point."

"Okay, thanks. Be right back. And, Y/N should be coming out soon. I got Mags to draw her blood just to know it would be done right. And, according to Monique, she's got really small veins."

"And this matters because...?" Jay probed.

"She might have to draw her blood from the big vein in her forearm, not one in the crook of her arm. But, Mags is good at this, so hopefully, she won't have to. Be back soon. Text me if they put her in a room."

"Got it." Jay turned back to Hailey. "How was she this morning? You know, when you helped her change?"

"She said her legs were sore. I had to help her get into her jeans and even help her get out of her t-shirt and into the shirt she's wearing now because, when she put her arms up, she said that they hurt to stay up...especially the right one, which is the one Will taped because she kept trying to itch it."

"So, her entire body is sore basically?"

"Essentially."

***

"Hey, Earl," Will greeted as he walked into the security office.

"Doctor Halstead, what can I do for you? And, why are you in your street clothes? Heading out early?" Earl asked, spinning around in his chair to face Will.

"No, I actually had to bring my little sister in because I think she got an infection from her IV. I was wondering if you could pull up the security footage of the ED two nights ago around two, three in the morning? My little brother, Jay, said that a med student changed her IV around that time and I need to find out who it was."

"So you can fire him?"

Will chuckled. "I don't have the kind of authority, Earl, and you know this. Only Ms. Goodwin can fire someone. I just need to know who it was so I can tell her what happened."

"If you say so." Earl started pressing buttons on his computer until he got to the ED and the specific timeframe Will mentioned. "Any specific room?"

"She was in treatment two I think."

Earl nodded and continued pressing a few buttons. Then, he played it in fast forward and told Will to tell him when to stop.

"There." Will pointed at the screen when he saw a med student, whom he didn't even know the name of, changing your IV. "Can you back up a few minutes? Just so I can watch and see what actually happened?"

Earl did and Will started to watch the footage. "You've got to be kidding me," he mumbled as he pieced together what happened.

This med student had came from a room where he had given another IV and had missed the vein. He wiped some of the blood away with his gloved fingers and then patted the blood dry on the patient's IV site and then bandaged it. But, he walked into your treatment room without changing his gloves. Then, he went right on to changing your IV. And, since you had small veins, he missed the first time, causing a tiny bit of blood to come out of your vein. He wiped it away with the same finger he had wiped the previous patient's blood with, with the same glove which contained a smear of said previous patient's blood.

Whatever that patient had, Will was fairly certain that you now had it, too.

***

"What's the verdict?" Will asked when he got back into the waiting room and saw you, Maggie, Hailey, and Jay.

"She has Mono," Maggie said.

You yawned and turned to Will. "And can you please tell him--" you thumbed towards Jay "--that I haven't been--" You yawned again. "--making out with a bunch of boys because he keeps asking for names."

Will let out a small laugh. "Well, it is caused by swapping spit mostly, but Y/N got it because that dumbass med student didn't change his gloves when he came in to change her IV."

"Wow, she must really be tired," Jay remarked. "She didn't even mention the swear jar."

"Just get me a snack on the way out and we'll be even." You put your arm on the armrest of the chair and laid your head on your hand.

"I don't know if you'll be awake to get that snack, Short Stack."

"How long until I'm not tired?"

"Symptoms should clear up in two weeks at the earliest, a month at the latest," Maggie answered. She turned her attention to Jay. "I know Will will probably tell you this too, but I'll tell you now. Even though it came from an IV, it's still technically a viral infection, so there's no antibiotics for it. The best course of treatment is just rest and fluids. And, if she's achy or her throat gets sore or the rash persists, ibuprofen will do just fine."

"Can I put itch cream on this?" you mumbled, motioning to your bandage on your right arm. Maggie had to draw blood from your left arm since the right one was bandaged up. Hopefully, you wouldn't get a rash on this one, too. But, you trusted Maggie and knew that she was the best nurse in all of Chicago Med, probably all of Chicago even.

"Yes, you can do that."

"Thank God."

"You know this med student's name, Will?" Maggie asked.

"No, but I had Earl pull up the security footage so I could figure out what happened. I'm sure he could go back so you could take a look at him and tell him off. Or talk to Goodwin."

"You want him fired?"

"I wouldn't go that far. But, he needs to be held accountable. And, Mags, don't take this the wrong way, but you're scary when you're angry."

"So is Jay," you mumbled, cracking your eyes open for a few seconds.

"Okay, Short Stack the Secret Spiller," Jay joked, "let's get you home before you tell Maggie everybody's business in this family."

***

2 and a half weeks later:

"God, I forgot how nice it is to not have to take a nap," you said as you sat on the couch reading a book for your English class.

"I will say, it was nice to have some peace and quiet around here," Jay said as he handed you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Thank you. And, I'm am not that loud!"

He snorted. "Yeah right."

"At least I don't have PDA with my girlfriend when my little sister's in the room."

"In my defense, I thought you were taking a nap."

"So, you and Hailey decided to have a full-on makeout session--which probably would've progressed into something more had I not come out of my room to get a glass of water--on the couch instead of in your bedroom where you can lock the door. Sounds a little suspicious to me."

"We would've--you know what, never mind. You don't need to know."

You were about to try and get him to tell you when you figured it was probably about sex. "Yeah, I don't need to know. You two are nasty."

"Keep thinking that way until you're thirty." You rolled your eyes and took a bite of your sandwich. "How much more you have to read?"

"Five pages. Why?"

"We have to be at Molly's in an hour."

"Why?"

"We just have to be there, okay? And, wear your Hawks jersey."

Technically, it was Jay's old Brent Seabrook jersey, but he got a new one with Toews' name on the back, so he gave it to you. It was in good condition. The only caveat was that the jersey went down to your knees; you practically drowned in that thing. But, you didn't have to pay for it, so you'd take it.

"Why?"

"Just do it. And, no more questions. This is starting to sound like an interrogation."

***

"Why are you wearing your Hawks jersey?" you asked Jay as you walked into the living room forty-five minutes later.

"What did I just tell you? No more questions, kid. No more questions."

Then, there was a knock on the door and Will entered, sporting a Duncan Keith jersey. "Okay, so we're going to Molly's...in Hawks jerseys...but there's no game on tonight. I'm thoroughly confused."

"And that's how we want you," Will joked.

You rolled your eyes. "I just want to know what I'm walking into."

"And you will," Jay started, "...when we walk into Molly's. Now, c'mon, let's go."

When you got to Molly's it looked like any normal day from the outside. But, then you opened the door.

"Surprise!"

Inside the bar was all of firehouse 51, some people from Med, and all of Intelligence plus Trudy. But, the stars of the show were Duncan Keith and Brent Seabrook, stars of the Chicago Blackhawks, who stood in the middle of the bar.

"How did you-- What-- How?" you stammered, trying to piece together everything with a gigantic smile growing on your face.

"Kelly's pretty great," Jay supplied. "He knew that you were saving up for tickets. So, he called Clarke, who just so happens to be really good friends with these guys."

"And he explained everything," Seabrook walked up to you and volunteered. "I gotta say, going behind your cop brother's back to save up for tickets takes some guts."

"Yeah," you agreed. You were talking to a famous NHL player? What did you even say?

"You excited for the game tomorrow?" Duncan Keith asked.

"It's a rivalry game? Who wouldn't be excited?"

"Well, lucky for you, I just happen to have three center-ice lower bowl seats for tomorrow's game. And a season ticket holder package for you and your brothers to meet the team."

"For-For me? Are you being serious?"

"Hey, someone who falls into a snowbank and then gets sick just from trying to get tickets, well, that's the least you deserve."

"You know, if my cop brother would've just believed me when I told him I was here, I wouldn't have fallen in that snowbank."

"Hey, I would've been worried, too."

"See, Y/N? Even Duncan Keith agrees with me!"

You smiled and rolled your eyes at Jay. "You have a sharpie?" you asked him. "I need to get this jersey signed."

And, while Jay had a good reason for implementing the three strikes rule, after that whole fiasco he was reluctant to take your phone away. Because this could've all been avoided if Jay believed you and hadn't taken your phone away. But, you got Blackhawks tickets out of it...and you got to meet the whole team, so it wasn't all bad.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Sorry, I haven't updated in a while, school has been very hectic. But, the good news is I'm done in two weeks and then have a six-week break, so hopefully, I'll be able to crank out a bunch of Seasons of PD/Med then. Anyway, thanks for reading! I did a ton of medical research for this imagine, so if anything's inaccurate, I blame google or the research articles I read. Also, please like/reblog and comment! I love hearing what you guys think! As always, if you want to be added to my tag list, just tell me and I’d be happy to add you!

Taglist:

@theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e 

[kaistarus]

Mistexting Mayhem

Pairing: Nishinoya X Reader

Words: 1.6K

Summary: You accidentally send Nishinoya a text that was meant for Yachi and now he’s knows secrets you were hoping he never found out

A/N: If you think this fic is anything but crack you’re wrong lmao I’ve always wanted to write a fic with this style and Noya is great for the chaos i needed. It was fun

Masterlist

[6:40pm] idiot⚡: look y/n without adhd id be too powerful

                         i could beet god himself in handtohand combat

                         god was afraid of my raw fuckin awesomeness wen i bursted from the woom

[6:41pm] y/n: there is so much wrong with what u just said

[6:41pm] idiot⚡: i have absoltly no clue wat

[6:43pm] y/n: put those 3 brain cells to work. I believe in you

[6:43pm] idiot⚡: but theyve reached their daily quota

                          plz there so tired and overworked

You snorted, a dopey smile on your lips as you laid surrounded by textbooks and homework, swinging your feet in the air behind you. You focused intently on the cell phone in your hand doing everything you could to procrastinate the schoolwork around you.

[6:44pm] y/n: noyas so stupid

[6:44pm] yachi❤: i thought you liked him?

[6:45pm] y/n: jeez Yachi. dont come for my throat

                       i cant help that i have bad taste 🙄

[6:46pm] yachi❤: if it helps he tripped over a stray ball today

                               maybe think of that till you don’t like him??

Unfortunately, the image of Nishinoya waving to everyone then biffing it only had you smiling like a dork. How you’d gotten to a point that Nishinoya being an idiot made you swoon, you’ll never know.

You raised your eyebrow suspiciously at the new notification on Snapchat from ‘Tanaka’ and after swiping it open you nearly dropped your phone. Looking back at you was Nishinoya, his head tilted and eyebrow quirked in confusion with a gari-gari kun shoved halfway down his throat. The caption at the bottom reading ‘daaaammn look at your prince charming go 😩’.

You frowned at the picture, letting out a frustrated groan at how your heart accelerated against your ribcage. You quickly tapped out of it and reopened the messenger app.

[6:57pm] y/n: we have to kill Noya

[6:57pm] idiot⚡: we??? what kind of mission is this??? 😤

[6:58pm] y/n: i like him too much. he has to die. its for my own good

You waited impatiently for her response and almost debated doing your homework since it took longer than you felt necessary. You supposed you had suggested murder to Yachi, but still…

When you finally received a response your entire body froze.

[7:11pm] idiot⚡: U LIKE ME?!?!? 😍

                          UR KILLING ME?!?! 😢

                          IM SO CONFUSED......

                          and a lil turned on ngl👀

Your hand covered your mouth in horror as you processed what the hell you had just done. This didn’t happen to people in real life. Mistexting was stuff people made up when they created fake texts for social media to get likes. You didn’t think people actually went through this.

You opened new notifications to escape the hell that stared you straight in the face.

[7:15pm] Tanaka💪: Yo, whatd u do. Whys Noya having a panic attak

[7:16pm] y/n: I accidently texted him instead of Yachi and told him i liked him 😣

[7:16pm] Tanaka💪: O wtf thats hilarious 😂

[7:17pm] y/n: ITS NOT HILArIOUS

[7:18pm] Tanaka💪: Hes askin if its a prank. Wat do i do?

[7:19pm] y/n:I DONT KNOW SDKFHJN IM THE IDIOT WHO STSRTED IT

He stopped responding and you banged your head against your pillow anxiously.

[7:23pm] y/n: YACHI ITOLD NoYA I LKED HIM AND NOU HE NOS WAY DO JI DO!?!????! 😭😭😭

[7:23pm] idiot⚡: THIS ISNT YACHI!!!!

                           HOLY FUKC U DO LIEK ME!!!

You screamed into your pillow. Were you fucking kidding? This could not be happening.

[7:25pm] Tanaka💪: dude, twice? i cant save u now 🤪

[7:25pm] y/n: betraying me in my time of fucking need? i’ll remember this asshole

[7:26pm] Tanaka💪: so vulgar 👀

You growled at Tanaka’s uselessness and bravely peeked through one eye as you went back to your conversation with Nishinoya.

[7:24pm] idiot⚡: STOP IGNORING ME I KNO UR TEXTING RYU

[7:26pm] idiot: IM GONNA KEEP SPAMMING U TILL U ANSWE RME😤

[7:26pm] idiot⚡: 1

                          2

                          3

                          4

                          5

                           6

                           7

                           8

                           9

[7:27pm] y/n: what is this twitch chat? fuck 

[7:28pm] idiot⚡: your heeeeererererreee 🥰

[7:29pm] y/n: soooooo………..

                        clearly there has been a misunderstanding

[7:29pm] idiot⚡: oh nonono. I understand PERFETCLY. u LOVE me

                         its ok. this is a safe space. we can discuss feelings 😌

[7:31pm] y/n: there are zero feelings to discuss

[7:31pm] idiot⚡: then y did u say u like me too much so i have to die?

[7:34pm] y/n: i am filled with rage 🤬

[7:34pm] idiot⚡: rage over how much u liiike me???🥰🥰🥰

[7:36pm] y/n: definitely not

You racked your brain for some kind of reasonable sounding excuse, eventually landing on:

[7:36pm] y/n: It was autocorrect

[7:36pm] idiot⚡: HAH????? FROM?????

[7:38pm] y/n: HAH???

                       ....Nora?

[7:38pm] idiot⚡: Who TF is nora???? 😡

[7:39pm] y/n: someoe i like obviously 😏

[7:40pm] idiot⚡: so u like them but u use my name so much it autocorrected to me? 🤔

[7:44pm] y/n: OK MR DETEcTIVE WHERE TF ARE THES BRAIN CELS COMIN GFROM?

[7:45pm] idiot⚡: i pull them out for special ocasions 😌

[7:45pm] y/n: well how bout you pack those up and put em away

[7:46pm] idiot⚡: how bout two people who LIKE each other SAY something so they can DOOOOOOOO something bout IT 🙄

You began typing a frantic message about how it was none of his business until you processed the message. Then you read it over several times before letting out an audible, “what the fuck.”

[7:50pm] y/n: YOU LIKE ME

[7:50pm] idiot⚡: I FLIRT WITH U ALL THE TIME WAT DO U MEAN yOu LiKe Me!?!

                          FUCKING OBVIOSLY

[7:51pm] y/n: literally when. name one time.

[7:52pm] idiot⚡: I WALK WITH U EVERY MORNING!!!

[7:53pm] y/n: I thought that was a coincidence???

[7:54pm] idiot⚡: I BRNIG U SNACKS DURING LUNCH!!!

[7:54pm] y/n: I thought they were leftovers??

[7:55pm] idiot⚡: …....I call you cute and invite you to my games.

[7:56pm] y/n: you call everyone attractive and i thought there was like a audience quota or something........?

[7:57pm] idiot⚡: ….i cant tell who i should be upset with rn but i think its u 😑

[7:58pm] y/n: WAT WHY!?!

[8:00pm] Idiot⚡: I LIKE U+U LIKE ME=WE LIKE EACH OTHER

[8:01pm] y/n: whoa. slow down. I hate math 😣

[8:02pm] Idiot⚡: ===WE SHUD GO ON A DATE!!!

[8:02pm] y/n: HAH!? i think you started multiplying that addition problem buddy 🤨

Your cheeks were beginning to ache from how wide your dopey grin was. You couldn’t help but tease Nishinoya-it was second nature at this point-even if you now knew your feelings were mutual.

[8:04pm] idiot⚡: i suk at math but thats NOT the point

                         point iiissss i think deep down u want to hang out and cuddle and fall in love

                        maybe even..... 😏 kiiisssss

[8:04pm] y/n: WHOA WHOA WHOA

                        WARN ME BEFORE YOU GET NSFW

                        i would never premarital eye-contact. let alone k🤢ki-🤢🤢kiss🤢🤮🤮

[8:05pm] idiot⚡: well we would have socks on 🙄

[8:06pm] y/n: oh. well if there’s protection

[8:06pm] idiot⚡: Im not a maniac

[8:07pm] y/n: i suppose as long as you dont do something stoopid

                        like faceplant in public

                        that would be humiliating

[8:08pm] idiot⚡: I-

                          who told you that 😠

[8:08pm] y/n: i have spies everywhere noya

                        youre never safe

[8:09pm] Idiot⚡: kinda hot 👀

                         makin me fear for my life like that👀

[8:10pm] y/n: i hate that i like you

                        It kills me inside 

                        i feel braincels leaving with every conversation

[8:12pm] Idiot⚡: fan behavior 😏

                          so am i taking u to eat tomorow or wat?

[8:14pm] y/n: if I HAVE to 🙄

[8:14pm] Idiot⚡: No u GET to

                          I am a fucking delite 😤

[8:15pm] y/n: whatever helps you sleep at night

[8:15pm] Idiot⚡: nothing helps me sleep at night. this mind never rests

[8:16pm] y/n: thinking 24/7 and still not a smart thing comes out of that mouth 👀

[8:17pm] Idiot⚡: yas, bully me more 😫

[8:19pm] y/n: ok thats as much as i can handle for one day......

                       im gonna pretend to do homework

[8:20pm] idiot⚡: okie... good luck my sweet baby pogchamp 🥰

[8:20pm] y/n: no

[8:20pm] Idiot⚡: 😘😘😘

[8:22pm] y/n: 🙄✋

[8:23pm] Idiot⚡: oh FUCK yas 🥵 shut me UP

[8:25pm] y/n: suddenly all i feel is endless regret

[8:26pm] Idiot⚡: i have that effect on people

                          See you tomorrow 🥰🥰🥰

[8:27pm] y/n: unfortunately 😘

[8:27pm] idiot⚡: 🥵

You flung an arm over your eyes and let a small giggle bubble up from your chest. Nishinoya was probably the biggest idiot you’d ever met, but you couldn’t help that thinking of spending time with him had you kicking your feet with excitement.

You supposed you should actually get started on your homework. You reached forward when a notification popped up from Yachi, asking if her idea worked and you had stopped liking Nishinoya.

...you should probably break the news, huh?

[spencers-renaissance]

you look after everyone, but who looks after you?

Summary: Penelope is sad and lonely and thinks nobody can see her struggling, but Emily does. When she shows up at her apartment unannounced, one thing leads to another, and soon a miserable evening turns into one of the best in Penelope's life.

Tags: hurt/comfort, sad penelope, angst w a happy ending, cuddling, tooth-rotting fluff, getting together, first kiss, friends to lovers

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x Penelope Garcia

Word Count: 1.7k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

I'm imagining s5/6 penemily for this one!

Penelope's small and bright apartment is her only source of comfort tonight, and although she does absolutely everything in her power to maximise the cosiness, to feel as safe and warm as possible inside its protective walls, it still doesn't feel like enough.

She's sad, and she's tired, and a larger part of her than she'd like to admit is bitter, which is an icky emotion, and she hates more than anything that it exists inside of her but tonight, it does, and there isn't anything she can do to stamp that stubborn little flame out.

She has always prided herself on the way she acts towards others. She makes sure that people are okay, and she bakes homemade muffins and puts them on their desks with one of her colourful toys when the bad stuff is getting to them, and she gives out hugs like there's no tomorrow; that's who Penelope Garcia is, and it's something that will always be important to her, no matter what.

But sometimes— sometimes she wants her own Penelope Garcia. It's easier to cheer other people up, to make them smile on a sad and rainy day, than it is to pick herself up out of her own all-consuming, utterly inexorable funks that creep up on her every now and then. And because happiness, colour, and bright smiles are who she can't help but be, people don't always see through that facade when it's no longer an instinct but a mask.

And because she would never dream of putting her bad mood or her sadness or her heavy, weighty grief on the shoulders of anyone else, she's left on her own.

When the last candle is the living room is lit, and her favourite lamps are on; when she's taken a hot shower, and she's put on her favourite pyjamas; when she's placed the order for her dinner-for-one, she sits down slowly on the sofa and pulls her knees up to her chest, staring at the inky blackness of the one window she forgot to draw the curtains over. As she stares, the inky blackness she feels on the inside only grows until it consumes her, swirling aggressively until tears are streaming down her face, and she's choking back sobs that threaten to rip her chest in two.

She's only brought out of her miserable, desolate stupor when the intercom buzzes with a visitor that she supposes is probably the delivery man with her Chinese order. She'd fancied Indian, but it reminded her too much of the team dinners Spencer always dragged them to, and that was just a little too painful for a lonesome night like this.

"Come on up," she says into the intercom, not bothering to hide the tiredness in her voice from a stranger she'll never see again, and without waiting for a response, she sits back on the sofa, staring at the purple walls of her apartment until there's a soft knock at the door.

Almost on auto-pilot, she stands up and opens the door, and her eyes widen as she stares in shock at Emily Prentiss standing in her hallway.

"You're not the delivery man," she whispers, still staring at her with wide eyes.

Emily chuckles sadly. "No, Pen. I'm not."

Penelope nods, blinking a couple of times, very unsure of what to do next or why the woman she's secretly in love with is standing in front of her at 10pm on a Tuesday night.

"Can I come in?" Emily prompts.

"Oh, uh— yes, of course." She opens the door wide enough for Emily to slip into her warmly lit living room and takes the opportunity of Emily's back briefly turned to scrub fruitlessly at her makeup-less, tear-stained face.

"This is cosy."

"Yeah, I just reread my favourite book about Hygge."

"Hygge?"

"It's uh. It's a Danish thing." Usually, she jumps at the opportunity to talk about Hygge and all the things she'd learned from her trip to visit her Danish friend last year, but right now, she's far too tired.

Emily nods, dropping her handbag by the door and walking over to take a seat on the sofa. "Come sit."

Penelope obeys and curls up in the opposite end to Emily, pulling a blanket over her lap and cuddling into it in another vain attempt to cheer herself up. Still, when pretty candles and the promise of takeaway can't make her happy, there really isn't much hope.

They stare at each other for a couple of minutes before Emily speaks, leaning forward a little. "How are you feeling, Penelope?"

Penelope blinks. "I'm fine."

Emily smiles, and again, it's sad. "No, Pen. How are you really feeling?"

She continues staring but doesn't say anything in response.

Emily scoots a little closer on the sofa. "Listen, I've watched you over the last couple of days. I know you're having a hard time, and I know that you won't say anything to anyone because you're brave and strong and quiet in your suffering. You look after everyone, Penelope, but who looks after you?"

Immediately at hearing those words, her face crumples, and she descends into the tears she'd only just managed to stop moments earlier. This time, though, the sobs she'd been choking back spillover, wracking her shoulders as she hugs her knees to her chest, desperate to hold herself together as she completely falls apart.

"Oh, Pen." Emily moves even closer and pries Penelope's hands away from her knees until she's able to guide her into a hug. Penelope usually tries to keep her physical distance from Emily, too scared of what she'll do if given a chance to touch her, but right now, she can't help but bury her face in her neck and cling on to her for dear life as Emily holds her back just as tightly.

"Shh, you're okay, honey," she soothes quietly, running her hand up and down her back gently as she lets Penelope fall apart in her arms. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

She says everything Penelope needs to hear as she cries herself out, sobs eventually receding to tired sniffles as she pulls away from Emily slightly, a little embarrassed of her actions.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cry on you like that."

Emily brings a hand to her chin and lifts her face gently until she's looking directly into Emily's warm, kind brown eyes. "You have nothing to apologise for, okay? I'm just sorry you've been having such a rough time and haven't had anyone to talk to about it."

Penelope nods, still embarrassed that she fell apart so easily but feeling soothed and comforted by Emily's warm words and gentle hands.

Just then, the buzzer goes again. "That's, uh, that's my dinner."

"Ah," Emily says, nodding in understanding. "Is that who you thought I was?"

Penelope looks away sheepishly. "Yeah."

"That explains the abrupt invitation upstairs," Emily says, smiling at her as she gets off the sofa and buzzes the courier up. "You mind if I stick around while you eat?"

"No! Please— please stay," she says, hating the desperation that bleeds into her voice.

"Okay, I'll stay, of course I will," Emily promises, rushing to soothe her again as she hears the agitation and distress in Penelope's voice. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

Penelope nods gratefully. "You can even have some of my eggrolls," she says, managing a little smile as she references the well-known fact that Emily despises eggrolls and makes such a big, dramatic deal out of it every time any of them order Chinese.

Emily laughs, her head tipping back a little. "You're so generous."

She opens the door for the delivery man and takes the bag from him, before bringing it over to the coffee table and laying it out in front of Penelope.

"You should eat up, sweetie," she says in that kind, concerned way of hers as she comes to sit next to her on the sofa, "I'm sure that crying took it out of you, hm?"

Penelope nods tiredly and tucks into her dinner as Emily flicks through the TV channels before settling on a rerun of Will & Grace. They sit in comfortable silence for a little while as the familiar sound of a 90s laugh-track sitcom fills the room and Penelope eats her dinner.

"You need another hug?" Emily asks once she's finished her food and is inching closer on the sofa, and Penelope might be delusional but she swears she sees an inkling of hope on her face, so she doesn't hesitate in nodding.

Emily beams and pulls her closer, arranging them until they're lying horizontally on the sofa, comfortably tangled up in one another, idly watching the TV while they enjoy the comfort of one another's company.

"Pen?" Emily whispers, after a good couple of episodes; after most of the tealights Penelope had lit earlier have burned themselves out. "You know I love you right?"

There's something in her voice that makes Penelope feel brave. "Yeah," she whispers back, burying even closer into her side. "I love you, too, Emily. More than you know."

The last four words are uttered with a weight the fragile air in the room can't hold, and they crash back down between them, making Emily shift to look at her properly. Her face is a myriad of earnest emotions, and Penelope can't look away.

"When I say I love you," Emily says, nerves and anticipation and hope in the whisper of her voice, "I mean it. I don't— I don't love you like a friend, Penelope. I love you more than that."

Penelope stares at her, her heart pounding in her chest as she looks at the woman lying next to her, anxious, hopeful features illuminated by soft candlelight.

"I love you more than that, too."

Emily's nervous features smooth into something warm and eager and happy. "You do?"

Penelope nods, and she's sure her face holds a similar expression. "I do."

"Can I kiss you?" Emily whispers, lifting her hand to rest in Penelope's blond, tangled hair.

"Please," she whispers back, and not a second later she's being kissed like she's never been kissed before; like the ocean's dried up and she's the last gulp of water to be found; like all the world's oxygen's disappeared, and she's the only gasp of fresh air left behind. She's kissed like she is Penelope Garcia and that is enough for Emily Prentiss, she's kissed like she doesn't need anything else but to exist in this moment, right here, right now.

She doesn't want it to end, but when it does, when they've pulled away and their faces are inches apart and they're breathing heavily, when she looks into Emily's eyes and sees everything she's always wanted to find in them, she's glad it did, because the first kiss ending means that they can do it again.

Yes, I'm gonna keep writing that Penelope is very invested in Danish culture okay, it's my fav headcanon, leave me alone. I hope you liked this one! <3

taglist: @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @hotchseyebrows @temily @enbyspencer @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @reidology @spencerspecifics @hotchedyke @marsjareau @oliverbrnch @physics-magic @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @reidreids @sapphic-stress @wifeyprentiss @cmily @notevanbuckley (add yourself to my taglist here!)

[duskandstarlight]

Embers & Light (Chapter 28)

Notes: Happy Sunday every one. Thanks for last week's comments. They were so lovely and I love to hear from you all!This chapter is the one lots of you have been waiting for... not smut, but THE conversation. I hope you enjoy it... And sorry about the typos in this chapter, I can't look at this chapter any more! I'll try and scan over it tomorrow...Lastly, just a head's up that I might not be able to post next Sunday. Work is super busy this coming week and I haven't yet started the chapter. I'll try my best, though :)

Oh, and for those of you who ask every week, I post Sunday evening UK time between 7-10PM. I will rarely change and if it’s late, it’s because I’m still working on it :)

Also, sorry, there should be italics in some places but I am done editing so Tumblr will get what copy and paste has done!

Twenty-Eight Cassian POV

Lorrian and Cassian walked silently down the hall, following the servant who was scurrying in front of them. The sound of their footsteps rang around the hallway in an echo that was almost haunting, and if it wasn't for the meeting that has just adjourned—the Rite meeting which that was whirring around in his mind—Cassian would be contemplating how quickly he could organise their departure despite the wishes of his High Lord.

As distracted as Cassian was, he had still committed every corridor to memory. Every twist and turn as the house tunnelled into mountain rock. Up the wide staircase, right, second left, first right, next left…

Deeper and deeper they moved into the mountain. No doubt to ensure that the General and Colonel felt as uneasy as possible. No Illyrian liked being unable to escape through a window and step straight into the skies, and from what Cassian could tell, there would be no windows or doors that led them straight out into the heavens. Only endless crystalline rock and shadow.

Lord Marsh’s property always had been unusual in that way. Even though it was positioned on the wide ledge of the mountain pass, suspended high in the sky above the rest of the Ironcrest camp, the house did not stop when it hit the mountain wall. Instead, it tunnelled inside of it, providing a lodgings that was a vast, confusing labyrinth that was too easy to get lost in.

It was why Cassian had been so loathe to stay the night. To stay any longer than necessary.

Cassian could only thank the Cauldron that Rhys and Feyre’s presence had not been required. Neither of them deserved to be trapped inside a mountain again. Cassian supposed he could count his lucky stars that their presence had not been necessary. Would not be able to bear their anguish, even if they did their best to conceal it.

“Your rooms,” the servant announced suddenly, with a bow that was so deep Cassian wouldn’t have been surprised if the male’s nose had scraped the floor.

They had reached the end of the hallway, and in front of them was a heavy wooden door set into an arch.

Even through rock and stone, Cassian could sense Nesta. Knew she was located somewhere to the left with Frawley, thanks to that magnetic pull which never seemed to cease, even just for a moment. That was the one thing Nesta hadn’t been able to stop. She could constrict their bond as much as she liked—could freeze him out so nothing could travel up and down their twisted tether—but it didn’t stop him from being able to sense her. It was as if he was hyper alert to where she was. His body moved when hers did. His heart did its best to beat in tandem with hers. And when they were near, everything in him had a tendency to relax, as if he no longer had to worry.

Cassian didn’t know if Nesta felt the same. Would never know, given that they did not discuss their fate at all.

Lorrian bid goodbye to the servant as Cassian stepped through the door and into a hallway that was equally as dark. Two doors flanked the short, cramped hallway and Cassian took the immediate left, pushing the door that was ajar so it creaked wide open.

Unlike the rest of Marsh’s residence, the room was cast in a light that was almost unforgiving, betraying the dark ominous furniture and the gloomy crystalline rock thanks to bobbing faelights which Frawley had magicked to illuminate the room. To his left, fire raged silently in the grate, and ahead of him, in a huge stone bay straight ahead of him, sat Nesta.

The carved out rock was fashioned as if it were a window—an irony, given how deep underground they were—and Nesta’s back rested against the far left-hand wall. Her knees were bent, and her long legs, which were hidden beneath her skirts, stretched across expanse of the ledge. She was facing Frawley, who was sitting on the huge Illyrian bed which took up most of the floor space.

Cassian just had time to catch Nesta’s unfettered expression—the tight, bracketed mouth and the downward pull of her brows— before it was wiped clean.

���What happened?” she demanded, as Cassian cast a shield which threw the whole suite into an impenetrable sound bubble.

Her eyes bore into his, and across the surface, silver roiled like liquid mercury. Despite her careful expression, he felt her worry and Cassian wondered just how much he had accidentally hurtled down their shared bond whilst he sat in that meeting to have her so concerned.

“They’ve cancelled the Blood Rite,” Lorrian announced grimly, from where he had entered the room behind Cassian.

Nesta’s eyes snapped to Lorrian. Confusion twisted across her features, but she did not say anything.

“That,” Frawley said after a moment’s pause, “is very clever.”

Begrudgingly, Cassian nodded. Because it had been clever. None of them had seen it coming. The Solstice luncheon, which invited all of the nobility across Illyria, had been enough to ward away any suspicion when it came to the lordlings presence. Rite representatives were chosen privately by each camp, so there was no way that Cassian could have known that the lordlings who had recently met with Kallon planned to fill many of the positions. Nor had it crossed Cassian’s mind that the Rite meeting might have been pulled forward only for it to be cancelled, especially given how steadfast and stubborn Illyrians were when it came to tradition.

But, even if Cassian had asked Az to find out what representatives had been chosen for the Rite that year, they never could have predicted that Kallon intended to instate a hiatus on the most important ritual in Illyria’s long history—a political manoeuvre that would make the Night Court look even worse than it already did.

“How did he get the lords to agree to it?” Frawley asked, as she watched her husband sink down into a chair that sat in the right hand corner of the room next to a dark, looming wardrobe that only served to make the room feel even more cramped. “Those princes will usually be damned if they listen to a word the other says.”

“The Rite representatives,” Cassian announced with a heavy sigh, wishing he too would give in to the temptation to sink down and sit somewhere. Next to Nesta, ideally. “All of them were lordlings who met with Kallon all those months ago. And the worst thing about it all is that Lorrian and I swayed the vote in Kallon’s favour. He played us and we walked straight into his damn den. It made us look as if we were agreeing with him for the sake of politics, rather than because we thought it ourselves.”

Which was the irony of the situation, Cassian thought to himself grimly. Cassian had been worried for a long time about the unnecessary loss of further lives due to the Blood Rite. Had been losing sleep over it, just as his nightmares continued to plague him whenever he did succumb to the clutches of the unconscious. There was already so much ash of flesh and bone on Cassian’s hands from when he had deserted his legion for desperate screams. And now… he was existing on stolen time—a time which had been bought by a female who at the end of it all, had not accepted his heart.

“Every word of Kallon’s appeal resonated with the Lords,” Lorrian told Nesta and Frawley as he ran his hands over his face… over his dark, close-cropped hair and the nicked scars on his scalp. “He played upon the sentiment that is already festering inside so many of the Fae in Illyria. That the Night Court uses our warriors for their own gain in war but does not care about them in the interim.”

“And then Kallon presented them with the damn sword,” Cassian growled, clenching his fists at the memory.

Frawley’s eyes gleamed so brightly her irises turned glacial blue and amber. “You saw it up close?” she asked, leaning forward so eagerly from where she was sitting on the mattress that she near folded in half. “And what did you feel?”

“Ancient magic,” Lorrian replied grimly, even as his wife continue to stare at Cassian. “My own magic spiked at the sight of it. It was…” he broke off and shook his head, “It was odd. All of the lords could feel it, I am sure of it. Not one of them disputed that it was Enalius’s.”

Cassian remembered the way his siphons had throbbed and the ruby star over his chest had pulsed so fiercely it felt like a second heart—as if it were answering a silent call that even he couldn't hear. Only Nesta’s power had made Cassian feel like that before. It didn’t matter if it was silver fire or healing light, Nesta’s magic called to him, chanting and moaning until he thought he might combust from it.

But Cassian did not say any of that. Had barely dared to admit it to himself, let alone voice it out loud. So, instead, he flared his siphons and rummaged through the travel bag which appeared on the upholstered bench at the foot of the bed.

His fingers found the book without having to search for it, his callouses brushing against soft brown leather. He pulled out Heroicis, the gold-lettering on the cover shimmering as he flipped it open to peel back the delicate pages.

It was easy to find the illustration of the sword. Cassian had stared at the drawing so many times the book wanted to be opened to that page.

He placed the book down on the vanity.  “It looked exactly like that,” he announced wearily, waving a hand to the illustration. “Except the jewel is missing.”

The rustle of clothing sounded as three Fae moved towards him. Cassian did not turn but he scented all three of them. Lorrian’s gentle rush of heat and sandalwood. Frawley’s damp forest earth after rain and air streaked with fire smoke. And then Nesta. She had drawn up to his left, but he would have known where she was in a room without scent or sight. Yet, he allowed himself the privilege of scenting her all the same, as that rush of her became sharper and more focussed, like a blade narrowing to an essential point: jasmine and vanilla and Nesta.

Rivalling most Fae in height, Nesta’s head barely reached his shoulder. Cassian desperately wanted to wind his arm around her and pull her close, but out of the public eye they were no longer pretending. He didn’t want to push the boundaries that were already so brittle. Would not disrespect Nesta by overstepping the mark. Not unless she indicated she wanted it otherwise.

So, Cassian pushed away the stark vision of him moulding her to his body, or the way he had bowed earlier to press his lips to her knuckles. Tried not to ponder over the temptation of brushing his lips over her cheek by the end of their visit…

“I did not expect a General to carry epic poetry,” Frawley drawled in amusement, but there was an edge to her voice that told Cassian she was holding something back.

Lorrian snickered at his wife and did what Cassian had yearned to do to Nesta—he dropped a kiss to the top of her white head. The Colonel had used his siphons to peel back his armour as soon as the door had closed behind them. With it, his arm had disappeared, and the Colonel looked more like himself.

“Well, witch,” Cassian demanded with forced lightness, “is this an accurate depiction?”

“It is the only illustration I have ever seen that is correct,” Frawley said simply, her head cocked to the side so the white of her hair fell in an impossibly straight stream. The strands shimmered pearlescent in the light. The colour was almost otherworldly.

“Did you find anything out from the females?” Lorrian asked. He was rubbing over the stub of his limp, as if it was causing him phantom pain, his expression drawn tight.

The change of subject wasn’t as abrupt as it seemed. Cassian knew why Lorrian was asking. If they found anything incriminating against Kallon or the Ironcrest clan, it would aid them in stifling the rebellion that at this point seemed inevitable.

A fierce flare of pain wrangled through Cassian’s gut and his head snapped to Nesta, but she was staring fixedly at the book.

Lorrian had also turned sharply to Nesta, his eyes wide. His hand dropped from where he had been trying to ease the pain from his arm and his expression, although surprised, was free of any discomfort.

“Thank you,” Lorrian said quietly.

There was a pause that stretched out too long. All of them were silent, but Nesta dipped her chin without turning her head.

“The females didn’t speak beyond polite conversation,” Frawley began, steering all of their attention from Nesta. “But I did mention the kerit attacks on the widows camps.”

“Did you pick up any emotion?” Cassian asked Nesta.

“Yes,” Nesta replied, but her shrug dismissed the notion that she may have felt anything prominent. “Fear, disgust, anger towards the attacks. Most of it low level.”

Cassian frowned. “I suppose the attacks have not hit Ironcrest. They have not experienced the damage first hand.”

“There was a spike of horror and despair,” Nesta told him. “From someone. But I couldn't place it. It came from behind me and by the time I had turned the emotion had gone.”

Cassian stared down at Nesta. “Did you scent it? The insignia behind the emotion?”

Nesta shook her head. “All of the scents were jumbled. I got a flash of something, but I couldn’t—” Nesta stopped abruptly and her beautiful face twisted into a dissatisfied grimace. “If I sensed it again, I might recognise it, but—”

Already Cassian knew she was punishing herself. He refrained from putting a hand on her shoulder in silent reassurance.

“Even a Fae with years of practice would find it difficult to associate the source of an emotion in a crowded room,” Frawley said with a dismissive wave of her hand, as if she too knew that Nesta would not stop the self-blame. That it would rage internally until it consumed her. “You do not have eyes in the back of your head.���

“And from Kallon?” Cassian asked, even though he suspected he already knew the answer, and that he wasn’t going to like it.

They all watched Nesta’s lips tighten into a thin line. Eventually, she said, “He likes my power.”

Cassian knew that expression. Knew from the way everything had gone very quiet that she had frozen him out so he would not know how the promise in those yellow eyes had turned triggered Nesta’s trauma.

But the problem was that Cassian had learnt to notice the slightest change in Nesta’s expression. Had catalogued every movement in the four months they had lived together, even when he didn’t know what it meant.

Frawley’s brown eye flicked to Cassian. Even behind the brisk facade, Cassian could tell she was worried about Nesta. Cassian wondered what they had spoken about whilst he and Lorrian had been gone. “What time is this dreaded dinner?” she asked.

“In an hour,” Cassian grimaced.

“And do you think the princeling will be carrying the sword with him, now he has confirmed the rumours?”

Lorrian grunted a laugh. Cassian wondered if he, too, was thinking of the way Kallon’s eyes had gleamed triumphant. How tempting it had been to smack the princeling around the face. “I think we can count on it.”

 *** 

An hour later, the same servant escorted the four of them down the warren corridors to dinner.

Both Lorrian and Cassian had discarded their full-scaled armour for tunics layered with a stainless steel cuirass over the top. That, coupled with plates and fingerless leather gauntlets on both of their hands, allowed Cassian and Lorrian to showcase their siphons. The light-weight pieces of armour were made of the usual Illyrian scales, and whilst the armour was more ornamental than for the purpose of fighting, Rhys had worked his magic so it was as indestructible as carbon steel, if not more.

Lorrian’s right arm was back and glowing. Cassian understood why his friend wanted to face the vultures with all of his limbs, but he wished he could take Lorrian’s shame away. He supposed there was nothing to be done but to hope that time led to acceptance. Already Lorrian had come a long way. Had even started training with Cassian without his arm, learning to wield a sword with his left-hand should the occasion every call for it.

It was that willingness to adapt that reminded Cassian why Lorrian was an exceptional warrior. Why he would conquer where others would fail. The Colonel would be prepared for every scenario. Would know how to balance his body with and without a limb.

Opponents would not expect it. It would give Lorrian the upper hand in battle, rather than showcasing a weakness that anyone who knew about his limb would expect.

It meant that if Lorrian’s siphons ever became drained, that he could still fight.

Nesta and Frawley had also changed for dinner, even though the witch had grumbled at having to dress up for company she would rather obliterate from Prythian. Unsurprisingly, Nesta had only grown more divine with a change of clothes, but she had barely spared him a glance as she looped her hand through his arm.

Which, Cassian thought, had been just as well, because he had not been able to stop his eyes from darkening and his wings from rustling at the sheer sight of her.

Now, Nesta held onto him as they followed the backs of Lorrian and Frawley from where they walked in front of them. The two of them had fallen slightly behind, most likely because of their hesitancy to fling themselves back in the path of the vultures that were Marsh and Kallon.

And, Cassian admitted, because he had purposefully shortened his stride so he could glance surreptitiously at Nesta—at the dark, deep forest green of her long-sleeved dress, which had actually stopped Cassian’s heart and made his breath catch in his throat. Something which he knew Lorrian had clocked but had decided not to mention— thank the Cauldron.

The top half of the velvet material wrapped around Nesta’s every curve, before it billowed out softly at the hips into an A-line skirt. At her chest—which was bared rather than hidden away—the silver chain of the pyrite necklace fell tauntingly below the v-neckline.

Cassian thanked his lucky stars and the Gods combined that he could not glimpse her cleavage.

“Want to go home yet?” Cassian murmured, breaking their silence.

They had barely spoken since the luncheon and certainly not alone. Nesta had not commented when she had emerged from their bedroom. Had not mentioned the single bed that had taunted him when he had first entered to change.

Cassian had ensured they were not in the room at the same time. Was actually terrified to close himself into such a small and cramped space with her.

The way in which Nesta did not look up at him as he spoke told Cassian that she was very far away. Her huffed breath was practically inaudible, and she had an almost unreachable air about her that told him that for some reason, her trauma had caught up with her.

So, Cassian did what he did best. He decided to rile her.

“You’re going to have to lower your shields,” he warned her.

The slightest of frowns graced Nesta’s expression as they came to the end of a corridor and entered the vast landing that graced the first floor. Here, the flagstone floor was layered with a carpet runner that was dappled in brown and white, like the feathers of a hawk-crested eagle. “I’m aware,” Nesta clipped, that chin of hers raising as her back straightened.

Cassian brought a hand up to cover hers. Anything to get her to look at him. “You can stay in the room if you’d prefer,” he said quietly.

Those tempting lips thinned into a straight line. She turned her head away from him, so he could only see the intricate braid that weaved a halo around her head. “No, I can’t,” Nesta replied shortly.

She was not wrong. Cassian would not leave her deep in the mountain where he could not protect her. Even if that meant taking her to a place where her trauma would intensify.

He hated himself for it.

“I won’t let him harm you. I won’t let them touch you.” The words came out fiercer than he had intended, even if his voice was a low rumble.

There must have been enough urgency in his voice, because finally Nesta twisted her head to look up at him. Those eyes were a little less hollow. “I know,” she replied simply. Her eyes slid to a spot past his head. “I might harm them, though.”

A dark, please laugh issued from his throat, even as he wished that mercury would slide over the frosty blue of her irises. Nesta had issues summoning her magic when she succumbed to the numbness, and Cassian did not want her in this Gods damned awful place without her power at her disposable.

“I look forward to seeing it,” he responded smoothly, but his heart fell as she turned away from him again.

Desperation clawed at his insides—at the bond which was constricted by ice—that the next words left him without contemplating the gravity of them. “Are you wearing that dress to taunt me, Nesta?”

Nesta’s eyes snapped to his so quickly that everything in him jolted. A dim light throbbed in the depth of her gaze. “Excuse me?”

“This dress,” he said in a low confession, “has become my favourite thing.”

An unamused snort, even as a glimmer of embarrassment forced its way down their bond. It was fleeting and barely there, but Cassian felt it. Grasped for it. “Your favourite thing is chocolate.”

“My favourite thing is you,” he corrected, scarcely believing his loose tongue. He made his eyes glint playfully. “Chocolate is a close second.”

“In fact,” he mused after a moment’s pause. “The two together—”

“In your dreams,” Nesta snapped, her words coming out so sharply and with such aggression that both Frawley and Lorrian’s heads whipped round to stare at them.

Cassian grinned wolfishly, watching Lorrian shake his head at the obvious fire in Nesta’s eyes. The fire that Cassian was doing everything to rally.

Both of his friends had noticed Nesta turn silent in the hour before dinner, but neither of them had uttered a word. They understood the peaks and troughs—the challenges of life when things became too hard.

“That comeback again, sweetheart? I’d have thought you’d have something more original by now.”

“You are insufferable,” Nesta clipped. And at her hands… a wisp of that mist.

“Do you not like being complimented” Cassian taunted, stifling the way his blood soared at the faint pink that stained her cheeks—another blessed reaction.

Together they descended the elaborately wide staircase, moving slowly to accommodate for Nesta’s skirts. Usually, Cassian had no time for impractical attire, but he had long learnt that Nesta could wear whatever she liked and he would accommodate it, no matter how ill-thought-out. 

Nesta’s grip on his arm tightened into a death grip.

She was not looking at him again. Deliberately avoiding his gaze, even as his eyes did not once stray from her face, his legs carrying him blindly as he furiously scanned her for expression.

Finally, Nesta said with a quiet that did not lack in intensity, “A compliment isn’t true if it’s designed to be a distraction.”

Cassian huffed a breath of laughter. Of course, she had seen right through him. Yet…

He dared to lean towards her, to close the distance between them so he could murmur into her elegantly tipped ear. “It was a distraction,” he confessed honestly as they turned down the corridor that led off to the right-hand side of the foyer, “but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true, does it?”

Blue, smoky eyes latched onto his, Nesta’s chin tilting upwards to meet his gaze. It was a torturous form of bliss, the movement bringing her face far too close to his. She stared at him and he stared right back, even as his heart thumped hard against his ribcage.

He lowered his head further. Watched Nesta’s eyes widen ever so slightly as he closed the distance between them. She had stilled completely, halting them just outside of the dining room.

This time he allowed his lips to ghost her ear. Let the Illyrian roll of his tongue and savoured her suppressed shiver. The spark of something which wound itself around his ribcage. “After you, amore.”

Cassian made himself wink as he straightened up, as if he were entirely unaffected by her proximity.

And then he steered her into the dining room.

 ***

Dinner was worse than Cassian had anticipated, and by the time the four of them arrived back at their suite, none of them were bothering to hide their exhaustion. The door had barely shut behind them when Frawley brusquely announced that the sword which had been showcased at the dinner was undoubtedly Enalius’s, before she disappeared into her room with Lorrian following closely behind.

The first thing Cassian had done upon entering he and Nesta’s shared room was to flop onto the bed. Dealing with Lord Marsh was trying at the best of times, but tackling Lord Marsh, Kallon and the other arrogant lords, as well as the drama that came with it… Cassian had been fighting a headache all day and the pressure was now a keen, insistent throb behind his eyes.

That, coupled with a tense dinner that had slowly chipped away at his pain threshold, had Cassian desperately wanting to slide beneath the sheets and succumb to sleep.

To Cassian’s surprise, Marsh had not been present at dinner, and from the way that Kallon sat unfazed at the head of the table, Cassian gathered that it was not an unusual occurrence.

Kallon had held audience with an ease that had rivalled Rhys when he was playing cruel High Lord during a visit to the Hewn City, and apart from the shadows of servants lining the walls, no other lords and ladies had been present at dinner. It had been a surprising move. Cassian had expected Kallon to parade and taunt in front of the watchful eyes of the Illyrian nobility, who would no doubt disappear later to whisper into others ears…

But, instead, it had only been the five of them. That had been enough to tell Cassian that whilst Kallon might have no qualms in wielding words as vicious as Nesta’s, he also did not believe he could control the tongues of those he was dining with. That he knew that despite the sword that lay gleaming on the gilded cushion further down the table, that they his company had the capability of maiming him if they saw fit. Something which Kallon could not afford given his victory earlier that afternoon.

This fear came to a conclusion halfway through their main course, when Kallon deigned to insinuate that females were not designed to wield a sword.

“Are you saying,” Nesta asked with a deathly sort of calm that had Cassian tensing, “that you do not deem females worthy of protecting themselves?”

“I think that the Night Court should protect the entirety of its court so the females don’t have to worry about protecting themselves,” Kallon had responded swiftly, his sharp knife slicing into his bloody steak as if it were nothing but butter.

“What you are saying,” Frawley corrected, her voice brusque and hard, “is that you do not  see females as having any other purpose than bearing younglings.”

“Is that not their purpose?” Kallon had challenged. He paused, surveying all of their faces with a grim sort of satisfaction, before he had pressed on, “Is that not what is needed for a race who has lost more males in this war than it has seen in hundreds of years?”

“A female’s worth is not found in their ability to reproduce,” Nesta had responded coolly. Her voice, Cassian had noticed, had dipped into the deathly sort of calm that usually preceded an outburst of flame. “In fact, I have not met one male in Illyria who is more worthy of learning how to wield a weapon than the females in Illyria’s camps.”

“And does that sense of worth extend to the males around this table?” Kallon had replied, his yellow eyes gleaming at a sudden opportunity. Like the rest of the residence, the dining room had been dimly lit, illuminated by faint faelight and the fire that raged in the hearth. It meant that shadows had crept across the walls and table as Kallon leant forward to where Nesta was sitting at his right. “I assume not, given your tendency to fuck anything that moves.”

The sentence was as abrupt as a slap to the face, but Nesta did not move. Did not give any indication that the princeling’s words had hit home, even as Cassian’s gut had wrenched.

“It is funny,” Nesta had mused icily, her voice as cold as the fiercest Illyrian winter, “that you should try to shame me, especially given that if I was a male, I am sure you would be praising me for such a consistent pursuit of pleasure.”

Carefully, Nesta had set down her goblet, her eyes boring into the princeling’s with such intensity that Cassian had been surprised that the male hadn’t burst into flame.

Other than Frawley’s snort of agreement, nobody had dared to move. Time had passed. Time in which Cassian vowed to remain steadfast to his silent promise that he should not interference unless it was absolutely necessary. Even as Kallon did not back down.

Together, they had all watched the princeling settle back into his chair with the relaxed sort of ease that had Cassian wanting to castrate him. “Perhaps then, I should surprise you by showing you my room in case you fancy pursuing some real pleasure later—”

“That is —” Cassian had started to snarled, banging a fist on the table just as Lorrian had growled, the sound a low, deep warning—

And that was when the entire room had glowed silver, the magic snapping around the room with such ferocity that it was like a whip cracking against bare skin.

When Nesta’s magic dropped—when Cassian’s blood had reduced to a simmer rather than boiling—Cassian realised that exercising her magic had been the perfect excuse for Nesta to silence the fire that had been crackling fiercely in the grate behind them. The fire from which Cassian had spent the entirety of the meal trying to shield her from as best as possible, his wing curled protectively around the back of her chair.

Even so, the showcase of Nesta’s power had been startling and undeniably effective. As Nesta’s temper had flared, that silver fire had ignited in the grate, swallowing the orange flames as mist wreathed up her arms, eddying around her at such speed that it began to seep across the table towards Kallon.

And the whole time Kallon’s eyes had gleamed. Not with fear, but with the kind of awe that Cassian felt when he’d first witnessed how magnificent Nesta was.

It had taken everything in Cassian not to leap across the table and rip the princeling’s head from his body. From the way Frawley was gripping Lorrian, it had seemed as if his friend felt the exact same way.

But to Cassian’s surprise, Nesta had only let out a low, cruel laugh which had sliced through any of Cassian’s intention to intervene.

Instead, he had watched, riveted as those eyes of pure mercury raked up and down Kallon’s body with a look of unbridled disgust. And when Nesta had spoken, her voice was as terrifying as the promise of death, “I would never deign to lower myself by sharing a bed with you,” she told Kallon, “and I certainly hope that no other female has been forced to endure it.”

Infuriatingly, Kallon had only let out a musical laugh rather than a snarled retort. “And I suppose you would rather pair yourself with a male who has nothing to give you—not a title or a name, only the promise of a cheap necklace. Perhaps that is why you seem to have no true inclination to secure your future with him.”

Then, Kallon had slowly dragged his eyes to Cassian. “I would have thought your role in leading the Night Court’s armies would pay better than that, General. But I suppose you can’t take the bastard out of the slums.”

It had been at that point that Nesta had found Cassian’s hand under the table. It had been the most careful of movements—unnoticeable to anybody but them. The clasp of her fingers around his and the easing of the pain and fury in his gut had been the only thing that had stopped him from either beating Kallon to a pulp or leaving the meal in a rage.

Both of which would only have allowed Kallon to emerge triumphant… So, they had eaten in the sort of tense silence, speared sporadically with the odd ferocious comment. And at the end of the table, that damned sword had lain on the gilded cushion, gleaming magnificently in the firelight, calling to Cassian’s power in a way that pulled at his skin…

Now, recollecting the monstrosity of the evening, Cassian wanted to ward away the feeling of unworthiness that still lay bitter on his tongue. There was also a sense of foreboding that he could not shake. A terrible knowledge that whatever he and Nesta had  constructed between them was something false rather than true.

There were so many cracks they had hastily tried to ignore. So many past actions that had been pushed to the background rather than being acknowledged.

Cassian didn’t know what would happen if they were addressed. If it would fling the two of them so far back into the past that it would shatter the present.

Yet… it seemed inevitable. A hulking, looming presence that clung to them like a shadow.

But for now… Cassian wanted lightness. He wanted to know that he and Nesta were ok. So he waved a hand tiredly at the room, and said, “Sorry we have to share.”

“It’s fine,” Nesta replied finally, as if she had been so far away it had taken her a while to rope herself back to reality.

Cracking open an eye, Cassian watched her close the bedroom door behind her. She had closed their bond as soon as they had left the dinner table. Cassian did not know if it was a deliberate move to shut him out, or just an attempt to sever any emotion. He knew she must be feeling raw. Lowering one’s shields did that, especially for Nesta, who felt more than everyone else. Azriel had warned him of that. Had confirmed what Cassian and Feyre had always thought. That Nesta’s gift expanded outside of the power she had clawed from the Cauldron. Something which had always existed inside of her but which had been magnified further when she was Made.

“I wouldn’t want my own room here,” Nesta elaborated when she caught him studying her.

Cassian watched Nesta’s ever perceptive eyes scan the room: the simple, whitewashed walls and the pine furniture. The room was of moderate size, although Cassian would wager that it wasn’t Lord Marsh’s biggest guest room. That silent rebuff hadn't gone unnoticed — not that Cassian cared. He had endured far worse conditions, after all.

Most of the floor space was taken up by the Illyrian bed, which was big enough for two sets of wings. Now, Nesta hovered beside it as if she were unsure what to do next. It was the most awkward he had ever seen her.

“By all means,” he drawled tiredly, waving to the other side of the mattress. He folded the wing that he had spread onto the other side—her side—of the bed, “I can sleep on the floor. Just...give me a moment.”

Ignoring his invitation, Nesta floated over to the dressing table instead. Propping his head under a bent arm, Cassian watched her as she started to slowly take the pins out of her hair.

For a long while, the clink of metal on wood was the only noise that filled the room, and Cassian was just about to ask Nesta how many gods damned pins she used, when she started to slowly unspool the hair from the top of her head. Jaw slightly slack, Cassian watched in awe as Nesta parted the thick strands of the braid with well-practiced hands. When she was finished, she began to brush it out, until the light brown strands shimmered gold in the faelight and the teeth no longer snagged on knows.

Cassian wondered if any male had ever seen her do this: the simple act of getting ready for bed. He hoped not. There was something intimate about watching Nesta let her hair down, as if every pin that came out of her head removed a little bit of that mask, revealing a younger, softer version of the hot-headed hellcat he usually had to contend with.

“You’re staring.”

The words clipped through the silence, as sharp as a cutting knife.

Well, perhaps she wasn’t a softer version, after all.

Cassian’s eyes slid to Nesta’s in the mirror. In the dim faelight, the blue of her irises had given way to a stormy, mesmerising grey. He made his lips pout, even as he imagined running his fingers through the soft strands. “Your hair looks prettier than mine.”

The faintest of smiles tugged at Nesta’s lips. It was slightly wicked, the only warning she gave him before she tossed him the ivory-handled brush.

Cassian’s hand snapped up, catching the brush inches from his face, his eyes never straying from hers.

His grin was triumphant and when Nesta rolled her eyes at him, the gesture so uncharacteristically playful, satisfaction burned through every pore, every fibre of his being.

How far they had come.

“Then brush it, you stupid brute. I won’t deny that it needs it.”

Cassian laughed throatily—the first true laugh he had let loose that day. “I thought you liked my rugged looks?”

A soft, unimpressed snort. “A wholly made up notion.”

He watched Nesta rummage through her travel bag and pull out a white cotton nightdress and some toiletries, before disappearing into the adjoining bathroom. He brushed his hair whilst the water ran and then peeled off his clothes, baring his skin to the chill air.

The glare Nesta sent him when she reemerged would have sent a lesser male scarpering. It made him wonder how any of the males she had bedded had even made it home with her in the first place. She crossed her arms defiantly over her chest, which only emphasised the swell of her breasts beneath the cotton. She was still wearing the pyrite, and the metal shone mockingly against her creamy skin—silver flecked with gold.

The sight of it so close to her cleavage had him biting back a groan.

Mother Above, he had to get a grip if they were going to sharing a room all night.

“You can’t wear night clothes like a normal person?” Nesta hissed at him.

With a taunting grin, Cassian rested a hand on a hip, highlighting his tight undershorts. He refrained from flaring his wings—largely because the space did not accommodate for it. “I usually sleep nude sweetheart, which would you prefer?”

And then, not waiting for her to start on him, he headed straight for the bathroom, making sure their skin brushed as he passed.

To his delight, Nesta’s angry snarl chased him until he closed the bathroom door firmly behind him.

When he reappeared five minutes later, Nesta was already under the covers with her nose buried in a book. Silent, silver flames licking fiercely up the chimney from the open fire grate. The heat was fiercely warm and very welcome, especially given that this deep underground, there was little warmth to be found. The heat sunk deliciously into his skin, and Cassian flared his wings slightly to fight the goosebumps that were scattered across the sensitive membrane.

Since Nesta had lit the torch at the widows funeral, she had taken to lighting the fires throughout the house, and Cassian had become so used to the glow of silver flames in every fire grate around the house that he barely bat an eyelid.

It warmed him, though, to see the house alight with silver and warmth. To see Nesta unafraid and relaxed. To see her sit near the fire, rather than as far away from it as possible.

“I didn’t see you sneak a book into the bag,” Cassian commented, as he pulled a blanket from the wardrobe and pulled on some loose pants. He had been teasing her before about sleeping in his undershorts. He’d mainly wanted to pull a reaction from her, to see how she would respond to his bare skin.

Her hiss had been satisfying enough. Not that Cassian hadn’t hoped for more. A too long glance, or even better, a blush.

Nesta didn’t glance up at Cassian as she turned the page. “You should know better than to think I’d travel without a book.”

He watched her eyes move across the page, utterly absorbed. Her long hair fell over her face and unconsciously she tucked the strand behind an elegantly arched ear. A signature move of hers, however unconscious, that he had yet to name. It was fast becoming one of his favourites.

Nodding, Cassian reached for the pillows on his side of the bed to distract himself from looking at her. Her next words made him pause.

“Just stick to your side.”

Nesta did not look up. She gave none of her focus to him yet she must have been watching him out of the corner of her eye.

“I don’t mind,” he reassured her after a moment.

A flip of a page. “There’s no room for your wings down there.”

She was right. It was a tight enough squeeze for his body let alone the wings on his back, and the blanket would do little to protect him from the cold flagstone floor. Cassian had endured far worse of course, but the thought of tucking his wings in that tight all night... well, he’d suffer for it tomorrow. And even though he knew sleeping an arms length away from her would be torture of a different kind...

“Thank you,” he conceded softly.

No acknowledgement, yet… this was progress. Only months ago, Nesta would have made him sleep on the cold just to watch him suffer.

A contented groan escaped him as the mattress moulded to his sore back. He rolled onto his side, flaring his wings to settle behind him and examined her.

The faded paperback Nesta was reading was well-worn. Many of the pages were dog-eared and Cassian knew that he’d seen her curled up with it before. He craned his neck in an attempt to try and read the title on the spine. He would bet good money it was a love story. No, he would bet his entire wealth that it was a love story.

It was quick, but he caught Nesta’s darting glance. It was enough for him to break the silence.

“Why do you read romance novels?”

A burning question Cassian had wanted to ask her more times than he could count. On both hands.

Not that he didn’t have his own theory on that.

“Why do you read books about war?” Nesta countered.

A slow, taunting smile. “I asked you first, sweetheart.”

Nesta rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Why can’t I read them?”

Cassian bit back a growl of frustration. “You can read whatever you like. What I mean is why do you enjoy reading romance novels so much?”

Nesta bookmarked her page with a scarlet ribbon—a gesture at odds with the earmarked pages—and placed it on the nightstand with a sigh. “I revoke my offer, you can sleep on the floor.”

“But what about my poor wings,” he whined.

“Feyre’s right, you really are Illyrian babies.”

Cassian scowled. “I’m full of testosterone, thank you very much.”

Nesta snorted. “Rumour has it that Azriel has the largest wingspan.”

The soft snarl that tore out of Cassian’s mouth surprised even him. He hadn’t made the noise deliberately, it had been completely unconscious, just as much as the next words out of his mouth. “Would you like me to prove you wrong, Nesta?”

His voice had turned low and husky without his bidding, as if it had done so purely on instinct. Maybe allowing himself to get in the same bed as Nesta had been a mistake. The scent of her was enough to cloud his judgement and this close... He could have his mouth on hers in seconds.

“I’d like anything but, actually,” Nesta clipped, completely unfazed by his act of dominance. “Besides, males seem to forget that it’s style over substance.”

Propping himself up on an elbow, Cassian leant towards her. He arched an eyebrow at her, his expression cocksure. Somehow, his headache had completely vanished. “Lucky for you, I have both.”

Nesta’s groan was one of long suffering. She reached to undo the clasp of the chain around her neck.

“Don’t take it off.”

Nesta’s head snapped round to his, his sudden command at odds with their banter. He held up his hands, the two ruby siphons glinting from where they sat firmly on the leather straps.

“We’re in that much danger?” she asked.

Cassian sunk back down onto his side, “I’m not taking any chances, and... I won’t be able to sleep if I know you’re not wearing it.”

Nesta’s lips parted slightly but her hands slowly withdrew from her neck. The stone glinted briefly against Nesta’s skin and then she extinguished the lights.

The soft flicker of silver that glowed from the hearth was the only reprieve from the darkness that fell across the room. Cassian wondered if flames would go out when Nesta fell asleep or if they would keep on burning.

The sheets rustled as Nesta got comfortable. In the following silence, Cassian could make out the reassuring thump of her heart. It wrapped around his own, the feeling a comfort until his breathing slowed and his muscles relaxed.

“He’s horrible,” Nesta said suddenly into the darkness.

“Marsh?” Cassian asked, but he knew who she meant. Wasn’t sure why he didn’t say it out loud.

“Him too, but I meant Kallon.”

Cassian grunted in agreement. Then, he dared to say, “He’s taken a liking to you.”

Revulsion forced its way down their constricted bond and into his gut.

Cassian didn’t need to look at Nesta to know her expression was hard. “He’s a pig-headed Illyrian brute.”

A flicker of a smile tugged at Cassian’s mouth, despite the subject. “I thought I was a pig-headed Illyrian brute?”

“Then I’ll have to rework my insults for you in light of recent events.”

Cassian barked another true laugh. Would Nesta ever stop surprising him? He suspected that if they were to spend a lifetime together, he would never grow bored. Would never be tempted to look in another female’s direction.

“I feel both triumphant and expectant,” he confided, before he sobered. “You didn’t have to defend me, earlier. I’m used to the comments. It doesn’t matter what I do, but my race will always see me as a bastard first and a General second. Being coupled with you is not something they will ever believe I deserve.”

More rustling of the sheets as Nesta turned onto her side to face him. Through the shadows, Cassian’s Fae eyesight could make out Nesta’s eyes staring directly at him. Even in the muted light, they were mesmerising. “I had a pretence to upkeep,” she replied shortly, as if that explained everything. But then her voice became so quiet that his ears strained to hear her. “You’re worth more than them.”

Usually, Cassian would have teased Nesta for voicing something so groundbreaking, but in this room—in this shared bed—the words dissolved on his tongue. He was momentarily speechless, so much so that the silence became awkward and weighted. His family had attempted to address his insecurities before, but it had never been enough to quash the beliefs that had been drummed into him from a young age. Cassian, too proud to succumb to the seriousness of the conversation, had brushed his family off until they left him well alone.

Azriel was the only one who truly understood; it was why he had never seen himself worthy enough to pursue Mor.

By the time Cassian summoned the courage to open his mouth, Nesta was already speaking, “How do they know about the war?”

The question made his heart stop. Not just because Nesta had mentioned a subject they usually stayed well clear of, but because, for the first time, she was addressing what had happened between them on the battlefield.

“I don’t know,” he admitted softly, ignoring the way his heart had begun to hammer in his chest. “By the time the healer had mended my wings everyone was talking about it. I think a conversation must have been overhead by a healer.” He paused, hoping Nesta might speak again. When she didn't, he added, “I was… very angry when I found out.” He palmed a hand over his face to try and soothe away the nerves that were humming agitatedly inside of him. He had done his best to ignore the whisperings behind his back.

It hadn’t been hard at first. The aftermath of the war had taken all of his attention. He had barely had time to eat and sleep, let alone digest the gravity of what others had found out. Not that he had gotten the gist of it in drabs: the entirety of the Night Court knew of how they had defended one another; how Nesta had been willing to die with Cassian when she could have run.

They did not know what he had promised. That he had kissed her, even though they were calling it the greatest love story in centuries. Cassian would never forget how Nesta had lain over him when she’d had the chance to run, and the urgency to her voice—the way it had cracked—as she had said; I can’t.

It was those two words which hounded Cassian the most, because even now, he did not know whether Nesta had said that because she hadn’t wanted to leave him, or because she had no choice.

“I assumed it was my sister and her loose mouth.”

Nesta’s words startled Cassian, bringing him back to the dark room rather than the muddy battlefield where his body was broken but his heart was full and aching. And in truth, Cassian had expected Nesta to draw a line under the conversation by ignoring him and feigning sleep, the next morning a fresh page where they need not bring up the previous night’s discussion.

Despite the dark, Cassian nodded, even though he was unsure as to whether Nesta could see it.

He had considered the same about Feyre. Not on purpose, of course, but by mistake. Feyre had been a witness. The original witness. “One thing I’ve learnt growing up Fae is that there are eyes and ears everywhere,” Cassian said eventually. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t prefer having my business kept to myself.”

Cassian knew Nesta was fiercely private, far more than him. Was it that invasion coupled with the monumental pressure that came with being spoken about by Fae and humans alike, as they whispered about the greatest love story in Prythian—the lowly bastard and the human Made Fae—that had been the final straw for her? Or had it been the death and destruction which had slammed the door shut on something as naive and fanciful as love?

The desperation to know—to understand—was so fierce that Cassian could not stop himself from asking what he had never dared, “Is that why you wanted nothing to do with me?”

A long, stony silence that eventually began to simmer with anger. Cassian did not know if it was the audacity of him having asked or for bringing unwanted memories to the surface.

Finally, Nesta clipped, “I wanted nothing to do with someone who treated me as second best.”

The icy dismissal in Nesta’s tone had goosebumps rising on Cassian’s bare arms. Recently their conversations had been a torturous, delicious heat rather than frosty, but this delivery… it made Cassian feel as if he had stepped back into the past.

They were going there then. A conversation Cassian never dreamed they would have. Yet here they were... and suddenly he was so terrified it would ruin everything he wished it would stop, even as he asked in a low voice, “In what capacity?”

Snapped words like the crack of a whip. “In every capacity. Let me go to sleep.”

“Nesta,” Cassian pressed, not caring that it was dangerous. Desperate to try and understand why they were not together when his entire body was begging him to close the distance. He knew she must feel it too. Hoped that she did. That it was not just a wishful fantasy on his part. Cassian had always thought their chemistry undeniable. It was what scared him.

It never went away, the wanting.

“What do you mean second best?” he urged.

“The fact that you do not know shows how stupid you are,” Nesta replied coldly, turning away from him, signalling that the conversation was over. Through the shadowy dark, Cassian could make out the slope of her shoulder and the outline of her curvaceous side. The spill of her hair, a tempting drape across the pillow.

He curbed most of the desperation that wanted to creep into his voice. “You are speaking of Mor.”

An abrupt snort of confirmation.

“Mor is my family,” Cassian said carefully, even though he knew his words would not convince Nesta.

“Your dynamic is not familial.”

“Not at the start, no,” Cassian admitted, rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling. To give himself distance. Because he could not bear to stare at her turned back as she tried to shut him out. “We slept together once when we were very young. It has never been repeated.” He blew out a long breath as he ran a hand over his face, trying to smooth over his pained expression. “She used me to lose her maidenhead. I don’t know how much you know, but Mor was mutilated by her family for it—she was dumped in the Autumn court with a note nailed to her womb for her betrothed to find her. It collapsed her marriage proposal and I have been responsible for that mutilation every day since, not least for driving a wedge between me and my brother.”

As he trailed off, the blankets moved and to his surprise, Nesta’s shoulder dipped slightly towards him. He’d clearly piqued her interest. “You mean Azriel.”

“Yes,” Cassian admitted bitterly. “I slept with Mor because I was a jealous prick and Az was besotted with her. His diverted attention made me feel like I had lost my brother and I thought it would make him move on.” Loosing another sigh, Cassian rubbed his tired eyes with the heel of his palms. “I grew up alone, so when I moved in with Rhysand’s mother and Azriel joined us… he and Rhys were the closest I had ever had to a real family. When we were a three, it was the first time I remembered being truly happy. Mor threatened that, so I did what I thought would remedy it. I was a naive, arrogant prick and bedding Mor is a regret that I have lived with ever since.”

Pausing, Cassian took in a deep breath. He’d never voiced any of this out loud before. It had always been something he and his family did not discuss out in the open, not until recently with Mor, anyway. And he had not gone into so much depth.

He hoped that Nesta understood what it had meant for him to be happy for the first time, when before that he had been miserable and alone. Nesta herself had confessed to Frawley that she did not know when she had last felt joy, but then Cassian had felt it the other day, the sensation so wonderful in her stomach he felt as if he had been knocked of breath. He had flown to find her, followed that tether between them that was more visceral than he had ever felt it, before he realised that this was not his moment to experience. So he had turned around in the skies, headed back home, waited to see Nesta later. Her face had been flushed and she was dirty from a day of helping in the widows camp… but her face, it was free of that mask. With it, her expression was less severe and the light in her eyes made her irises a shade lighter. It was the most beautiful thing Cassian had ever seen. And when she had seen him, she had smiled without thinking. As if he, too, brought her joy.

It had been a quiet smile. Secret. His.

But where could Cassian even start to begin explaining the mess of the love triangle between Mor, Az and himself? Of the guilt he felt for a few minutes of pleasure which nearly costed Mor her life.

A bitter laugh escaped his lips. “I felt so much guilt over what I had done—over what happened to Mor and for betraying Azriel like that—I spent the next five hundred years doing everything I could to make things easier between them. Azriel doesn’t think he is worthy of Mor and Mor isn’t interested. So I stepped in when I could… I eased the tension. I let Mor use me as a buffer and it just… it became a bad habit. We fell into an unusual friendship. Mor can be very protective of me.” He sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “I can see how things were misconstrued. I think about it a lot, Nesta. I think about it all the time.”

Only silence met his confession.

“Things won’t be like that anymore,” he pressed on. Because he needed Nesta to understand that Mor was not in the equation—that she never had been—even though he was sure he and Nesta would never be anything but two Fae forced into close quarters. “Mor has finally been honest with Azriel.”

No reply. Nesta had turned preternaturally still again, as if she weren’t breathing.

“Nesta?"

“What.”

It was only one word but it was more vicious than anything she had said to him in months.

He felt his blood heat as he propped himself up onto an elbow. “Are you going to say anything or are you going to ignore me and pretend this conversation never happened?”

Nesta’s body moved slightly beneath the sheets as her muscles seized up. “I don’t think any of it matters now, so it’s not relevant.”

“It has always been relevant to me.” Cassian’s voice came out as a low hiss, his self-control snapping as his vulnerability became too much to bear. He threw a protective bubble around the room, sound proofing them inside. For the sake of their pretence, he couldn't have Fae ears overhearing their conversation. And… he could not bear Lorrian and Frawley overhearing something so painful. “You terrify me, Nesta, because I have never been so fucking captivated by anyone in the whole five hundred years I have been alive. From the very start you were different and it scared the shit out of me. My entire family knew it, too. I’m not a fan of everyone knowing my business, either, believe it or not, and they witnessed you putting me down at every step.”

Nesta’s snort was so cold that his entire blood heated fire. He was thankful for the dark to conceal how red his face has turned. He wanted to throttle her at the same time as he wanted to press her into the mattress and slant his mouth on hers. To show her that even now he only wanted her. That Mor meant nothing. Hadn’t for centuries. That he’d royally fucked up in so many ways that he didn’t even know how to start apologising.

“If you cared so much, perhaps you would not drop my hand when your friend enters the scene or gift her lingerie whilst I am in the same room. You are disgusting,” she spat. 

Then, Nesta was facing him again with such sudden speed that Cassian braced himself for an attack, but Nesta only propped herself up onto an elbow. Her hair fell like a curtain over her shoulder, the flare of silver from her fingertips lighting the room with a sudden brightness.

“You asked why I read romance novels,” Nesta said, her voice having dropped suddenly into a quiet fervour that was no less chilling. “I read them because I was engaged to a boy who turned out to be cruel and I have watched a five hundred year old male discard and ignore me as he pleased. I would rather read about love than be in it. After all, I recall you saying that I was not worthy of love.”

“Sweetheart—” Cassian croaked. The blood had drained from his face and he knew that if he were to look in the mirror all he would see was a haunted ghost of himself. “I’m sorry. It was wrong of me to say that. You were so empty. I couldn’t reach you and so I lied. I thought you’d get angry at me, but instead you just walked away.”

“You are not unloveable,” he told her fiercely, when she remained silent and so fiercely sad his heart clenched. He had not known that she was engaged to that human filth. “You are the exact opposite. If anything—”

He stopped abruptly. Took stock. Her light was still glowing around them, illuminating the room in an ethereal mist which he would have considered beautiful if the two of them hadn’t been consumed by such agony.

“You’re not unloveable,” he insisted vehemently, after a moment’s pause. “And love doesn’t work like that. You can’t choose not to love, sweetheart. You know—”

“We decide how we act on it, that’s what matters,” Nesta interrupted, that mist sparking momentarily into flame before it was eaten by shadow.

And that was the crux of it. The truth behind the words—the calculated response that told Cassian that Nesta had thought of this over and over again. He would not change her mind when it came to him, because it all boiled down to her ability to choose. And he was not a choice. He had been thrust upon her. They were history rather than present. Would always be that way, it seemed.

Cassian fell onto his back as the gravity of the realisation crushed him with such force that for a moment, he felt as if he was choking.

“It was wrong of me to do those things,” Cassian said quietly, forcing out the hoarse words through the tightness in his windpipes as a result of the crushing disappointment. “All of it was wrong of me. I know that, Nesta. You may think I’m old but around you I find myself a teenager.  On Solstice last year I didn’t know how to deal with the situation so I ignored you before you could do it to me and then regretted it later. I hoped you would speak to me. I hoped—”

That you would change your mind. That you would want to be with me. That you would stop fucking all those males. That you would forgive me.

But Cassian did not say those things. Instead, he said, “Look, we just need to pretend to be together for one more day and then you don’t have to think about being tied to anyone ever again.”

Silence.

That as all he needed to move. Logic told him that he should stay put—that he should remain calm and rational rather than affected—but the pain was too much and he found himself sitting up and pushing off the covers. He needed distance. In this room all he could scent was her—jasmine and vanilla—and it hurt, to be so close and know that he could not comfort her without the knowledge that she’d set him alight.

Cassian had thought he’d drawn a line under it all. Thought he’d accepted that he was content to co-habit with her and resist the undeniable pull between them for the rest of his days. But they had taken such big steps forward recently. Had thought things had continually shifted until all it boiled down to was their connection, which ran far deeper than twists of rope and a damn Cauldron.

At times, Cassian had even thought Nesta had wanted him to touch her. Had almost leant in to him. Walked close, stayed close.

Snorting, he discarded the memories, angry at himself for having wished for something that he had tried to put to rest.

“Where are you going?” Nesta’s words were sharp. The fanciful part of him detected alarm, but Cassian pushed it away. He knew better.

“To sleep on the floor.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

Again, Nesta moved with that extraordinary speed that Cassian should have accounted for. He had seen her in the sparring ring, had witnessed her move so fast that she was almost a blur. Only he could move that fast.

A mist-wreathed hand closed around his wrist with a strength that had his heart beating in his mouth and his siphons flaring. “Stay.”

Cassian ran a shaking palm over his face, pressing the heel of it to his eyes, hoping the pain of it would ground him. “I can’t,” he lied.

“You can,” Nesta said shortly, but there was a quiet plea lacing her voice. “You will.”

When Cassian didn’t move, Nesta tugged on his arm, urging him to join her back on the mattress. “Please,” she breathed, and this time Cassian did detect panic, as if Nesta had not bothered to conceal it. “I don’t want to fight with you. You’re the only—”

To Cassian’s dismay, Nesta broke off as her eyes filled with tears. When she spoke, her words were barely audible—small, “I like my life at the moment. I’ve never liked it before.”

Something cracked inside of Cassian, the sound internal and akin to the smashing of china.

“I don’t want anything to change,” Nesta continued. “I don’t want to have to move back to Velaris. I want to stay with you where I feel safe.”

Her expression cracked. The tight line to her mouth trembled and a frown twisted across her features. A tear slid down her cheek. “I said awful things to you,” she admitted.

“Yes,” Cassian conceded with a sad, tremulous smile, because even now he did not want her to hurt. “And I said awful things to you.”

“I wanted you to leave me alone. You scared me.”

“I know,” he replied. Because he understood what she meant. How even though his blood sang when she was near, he was equal parts terrified. “You scared me, too.”

“I needed to make you leave.”

“I know,” he repeated again. Because he knew that, too. Knew she had purposefully driven him away. She had wanted to hurt and be consumed with trauma. To finally feel nothing. To make sure the those she cared for were safe from her.

A broken sob had Cassian cupping Nesta’s face before he could help himself. Her skin was unbelievably soft against his calloused palms. He brushed a thumb over the arch of her cheekbone. “Nesta,” he breathed, waiting until she looked at him, until blue and hazel clicked into place. “I want you to stay with me. You never have to move back to Velaris, not if you don’t want to.”

Nesta did not reply. Did not move away. He bowed his head until his forehead was resting against hers, wanting her to know that he was sincere. That he wanted her to stay not because that’s what she needed to hear, but because he didn’t know what life would be like without her in it.

“I like living with you,” he told her again, because he knew somehow that she didn’t believe it. “I don’t want you to leave, either.”

Then he pulled her to him. She didn’t resist, her body pliant as he wrapped his arms around her. Cassian could feel Nesta’s heart, the sound pattering to meet his, as she wound her arms around his bare waist.

Her furled fists rested lightly against his skin, the pressure welcome and wonderful as she finally held him back.

“So, you won’t sleep on the floor?”

Such a small voice. Vulnerable and trusting. A voice she didn’t use with anyone but him.

“No,” Cassian assured her, knowing that staying was something he would never refuse. Something he couldn’t. “I won’t sleep on the floor.”

When he lay on the edge of his pillow closest to hers, Nesta settled beside him. She found his hand beneath the blankets, her fingers threading through his.

The initiated contact had his blood thrumming and he resisted the urge to pull Nesta back to him and wrap her in his arms.

An indeterminate amount of time passed.

Cassian listened to Nesta’s breathing as it became even; the slow, relaxed beat of her heart. The sound of his, thumping in tandem. Watched her eyelids flutter shut and her features soften. Felt how her fingers remained entwined with his.

“We would have crashed and burned. I would have dragged you down.”

Quiet, sleepy words. A confession, really, and Cassian stilled in surprise at the honesty that was not spat or wringing with deadly venom, but level. And if Cassian allowed himself to be rational, he knew that Nesta was right. Despite the thorny, overgrown path they were trampling down, it had all been necessary. Trauma, internal conflicts, self-doubt, complicated relationships… there were so many things that the both of them had needed to face before they could be truly content. What was it Cassian had said to Rhys when his brother had asked about his happiness? I’m working on it. He still was, but with Nesta beside him, still holding tight to his hand, Cassian found the world a little brighter, despite the shadowy future that lay ahead of them—a shape that had not yet taken form.

So, Cassian allowed a small smile to creep onto his face. “Maybe I’d like to be set alight.”

A soft snort. “That doesn’t mean you should.”

Then, Nesta’s fingers squeezed his. Soft breath travelled across the pillow to caress his cheek. “Goodnight, Cassian.”

He wondered how many times Nesta had actually said his name without being in mortal danger or when she had needed to get his attention. His name sounded intimate on her lips, a whisper of a prayer across the void that he hoped was narrowing between them.

In his mind, Cassian raised her hand again to press a kiss to her knuckles, even as he merely tightened his hold on hers.

It was in that moment of calm that Cassian vowed that he would change Nesta’s mind. That he would spend this gifted time showing Nesta that they might be strung together but that he had chosen her, if she would have him.

In the flickering silver light, Cassian felt Nesta began to slip into unconscious. Felt her fingers loosen their grip on his, but he held on tight, and said, “Goodnight, Nesta.”

Tags: @arin1030 @superspiritfestival @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @mylittlebigplanet @biggestwingspan-az @bellsqueen @ekaterinakostrova @bookstantrash @prophecyerised @rainbowcheetah512 @awesomelena555 @wannawriteyouabook @iammissstark @lovelynesta @melphss @nestalytical @darkshadowqueensrule @laylaameer01 @a-trifling-matter @grouchycritic7794 @thalia-2-rose @champanheandluxxury @swankii-art-teacher @princessconsuela02 @lavendergoomsltd @little-diyosa @princessofmerchants-reads @jeakat @sjm-things @imwritingthesewords @nestable @inejbrekkxr @silvernesta @inyourmindeye @amelie775  @iwastoowildinthe70s @helen-the-weirdo @pizzaneverdisappoints @san-y-a-blog 

[hatsukeii]

Hiii do you have any relationship Hc's for goshiki

Hmmm this is gonna take a bit, but I have some ideas in mind:D

Our weird bowl cut boy lol

He’s gonna be Shiratorizawa’s ace... someday.

I’m gonna split this to two parts, because I write long hcs and I wanna write out how you guys dealt with your feelings before actually dating.

👾Goshiki👾

✨Confession✨

- Really clueless at first.

- By really clueless I mean REALLY CLUELESS.

- When you joined the volleyball team as manager, he definitely tried to talk big, trying to give you a good impression of who is and why you “shouldn’t mess with him.”

- He refused to get close to you, despite your efforts in trying to get him to loosen up.

- “You’re just gonna be a distraction.”

- “I’m here to beat Ushijima and become the ace of Shiratorizawa, not make friends.”

- Ah yes, the typical no bullshit shounen anime protagonist that ends up somehow becoming the little brother of the team.

- And also ends up as a tiny crush for a certain someone.

- You don’t really know when you started noticing him that much. He was kinda just... there.

- But alas, seeing how determined he is to get to the top? Mad respect.

- Maybe with time that respect slowly became admiration and attraction.

- You wanna know how determined he is? Think Kageyama, but times ten.

- This bitch waits for everyone to leave the gym after practise, then continues to train his ass off for hours. I’m talking 4-5 extra hours of training.

- You only know this because you stay behind in the gym to clean up the equipment, and he doesn’t leave the gym when you do, which is about an hour or two after practice ends.

- Whenever you ask him when he’s leaving, he just waves you off halfheartedly, usually muttering a casual “I’ll be leaving soon, don’t worry.”

- And if you think that’s it? Oh nononono.

- There has been one instance where you saw him passed out.

- Like Goshiki trained so hard he just blacked out due to exhaustion.

- How you found him?

- Well,

- Your dumbass left your textbooks in the gym, so you had to go back and retrieve it.

- It was like what, 8 in the evening, but the lights and air conditioning were still on.

- You were already weirded out, so you decided to be extra careful. You know how high schoolers are these days, who knows what they’re doing behind closed doors sometimes.

- You creak the doors open just a bit, taking a peep.

- And your eyes land on a motionless Goshiki just laying on the gym floor.

- That scene scared the shit out of you.

- You checked his pulse, and his breathing. To your relief, his pulse was still there, although it wasn’t as strong as it should be. However, his breathing was definitely shallower than usual.

- Thank god for that emergency treatment course you enrolled for last year. You knew how to treat Goshiki almost immediately, raising his legs and keeping them up with a stool you found. What you didn’t expect, was for him to not wake up even after 5 whole minutes of you checking on him.

- That time you literally called an ambulance.

- Needless to say you definitely scolded him when he woke up, before forcing him to eat and drink something.

- Turns out for the past months or so, he’s been training for an extra 4-5 hours a day, without enough food or water to replenish himself.

- It would be about 9-10pm when he got home, where he had to finish his homework and finally get some food in his system, mostly leftovers. When he’s done with homework, it would be around 1am, which would be when he actually cleans up and hauls his ass to bed.

- He has to wake up at 5am for morning practise.

- You were about to punch him when he told the doctor all that.

- Since that worrying experience, you’ve forced Goshiki to leave the gym after a maximum of two hours.

- You walked him to the bus station after every single practise, just to make sure he doesn’t pass out.

- (And also to stare at him while he listens to music and tosses the ball occasionally, but he doesn’t need to know that.)

- Goshiki honestly appreciates the walks to the bus stop and the casual conversations you guys can hold.

- And to be honest, he was pretty surprised you’d actually go along with what you said in the hospital and “Walk him home every single day until he’s done with volleyball in highschool.”

- These days you patiently wait for him to finish his extra practise, and set an alarm for 2 hours. Once those 2 hours are up, you’re dragging his ass out of the gym with his stuff all packed neatly. No buts, nope, don’t wanna hear it.

- Maybe it was the determination you had to make sure he was safe and healthy, or the dumb conversations you had every single day about mermaids getting laid and unicorns getting horny.

- Because with time, Goshiki eventually succumbed to his feelings and admitted to himself.

- He had fallen for you. Hard.

- And there was nothing he could do about it.

- Except,

- Avoid you as much as he could.

- Poor little Goshiki was so clueless that he thought avoiding you would eventually cause his feelings to just disappear like how my dad went to get the milk.

- Whenever he saw you in the hallways, he’d just blush and walk the other way, even if it was the opposite direction of where he was supposed to be going.

- Nope, no fist bump, hi five, nothing.

- Alas, he couldn’t avoid you much anyways, since you were the manager for the volleyball team, and you also persisted on walking him to the bus stop every single god damned day.

- All he could do was try and muster up the driest possible responses to anything you said.

- “So, how was practice? You feeling anywhere near as powerful as Ushiwaka yet?”

- “Eh, it was okay.”

- “You want something to eat or drink? We can go to that boba store around the corner from last week and get something.”

- “Nah, I’m good.”

- You were weirded out, to say the least.

- Since when did Goshiki pass on boba?

- “Oi, Tsutomu, are you feeling okay? You’re acting a bit odd.”

- You raised your hand to his forehead, feeling the warmth on your palm as Goshiki flared 50 different shades of red.

- “U-uh, my stop’s there, I’ll see you tomorrow bye-” he rambled, stuttering over his words before zooming towards the wrong station.

- “What just happened?”

- All Goshiki could do was get home as quick as possible, finish all his work, eat up, clean himself, and just scream into his pillow.

- “I’ve been avoiding her for so long, why is she still stuck in there?”

- He was being so blatantly obvious with avoiding you that the volleyball team eventually had to speak up.

- That went terribly.

- “Goshiki, why aren’t you focusing these days? Is there something troubling you?” -Shirabu

- “Plus, you haven’t even spared a glance at y/n, let alone talked to her. Aren’t you guys like best friends?” -Tendou

- “Goshiki do you like her?” -Ushijima

- Goshiki almost choked on his water.

- No, not almost. He definitely choked on his water.

- “What? ME? PLEASE! OF COURSE NOT!” -Goshiki, in denial, blushing

- “Seems like you do to us.” -Ushijima, as blunt as usual

- “Well then, you should’ve just told me Goshiki. I never knew you disliked me.” 

- Oh shi-

- Well isn’t it convenient? You were standing right there with volleyballs in hand when he decided to belt out that statement.

- For the next few weeks, you both avoided each other as much as you can. You even stopped walking him to the bus stop.

- Until the day before their match against Karasuno.

- At this point, Goshiki had had enough.

- This was troubling him to an extent already, and he also had the match to worry about.

- At the end of practice, he waited until all the members of the team (especially Tendou) left the gym, before harshly pulling you into the storage room, pulling you down to sit next to him on the floor.

- “What do you want Goshiki-”

- “I like you. That’s it.”

- What the hell.

- Your mouth hung open, you face and neck feeling hot, as he made his way back into the gym, practising yet again. All you could do was sit in the storage room, still not comprehending what had just happened.

- Not knowing how to deal with this, you grabbed your stuff, and made your way home as quick as you can, not wanting to deal with the situation at hand yet. You flop onto your bed once you reach your room, and scream into the pillow out of frustration.

- “Why did I do that? That was my chance, I blew it! I’m so stupid oh my god.”

- Goshiki was also being extra aggressive with the volleyballs too. By the time he had finished his extra practise, his palms were scathed and sore, red marks scattered all over.

- During the match agaisnt Karasuno, he was extra nervous, not wanting to screw up.

- But at the same time, the events of yesterday replayed in his mind like a broken record. The way you stared at him in shock, not even making a sound. How you left the gym as quick as it happened, not sparing even a glance at him. It made him regret ever befriending you in the first place. He should’ve known that this was bound to happen.

- This led to him being extra aggressive during the match. Both teams were shocked and quite frankly, a bit intimidated too.

- Goshiki was fueled by all his pent up rage against himself, a seemingly dark aura radiating off of him on the court. He was stupid. An absolute imbecile. A moron. An idiot that put his heart on his sleeve, not once thinking about the consequences it could bring.

- When coach Washijo decided to scream “if you’re gonna stare, at least stare at a damn girl” at him, he sneered so hard at him his face was about to become permanently contorted. Even his own coach, the spawn of satan, was taken aback.

- The fact that Shiratorizawa ended up losing did not help. At all. All that did was make his day even shittier.

- Until you finally told him you reciprocated his feelings.

- Not long after the loss, the team all went their own way home, feeling miserable about the game.

- Goshiki had his earphones in, walking towards the bus station, head hung low as he silently sobbed, feeling like absolute shit.

- You caught up to him, before basically engulfing him in a huge hug from behind, nuzzling your head into his shoulder, refusing to let go.

- He was flustered, to say the least. Frozen in place, tears continued to stream down his face in steady streaks.

- “I’m sorry for your loss today, and for yesterday too.”

- His eyes widened at your apology as he furiously wiped the hot tears, his eyes still slightly puffy and his nose still red.

- At this moment, Goshiki needed someone. Desperately. In one swift motion, he had turned around and held you with an iron grip, a hand pushing your head into his chest, his back hunched with his head in the crook of your neck as he cried, this time letting the sobs and whimpers become audible. His salty tears met your skin, rolling down to your collarbone.

- “So the reason why you’ve been avoiding me was because you liked me?”

- Goshiki nodded into your neck, still crying.

- “Well I’ve liked you since the start of the school year too, so don’t worry. I’m here for you.”

- Hearing that, he detached himself from your neck, staring at you, surprised at how calm you were and how dense he had been.

- “Wait for real?”

- You were in a hurry, since you promised to run some errands, so you did the first thing that popped into your mind.

- On your tiptoes, you gave his lips a quick peck, before running away, your face completely red.

- “For the record Tsutomu, we’re dating now I guess.”

✨Dating✨

- What a sweetie.

- At first, he’s super secretive with the relationship, not wanting people to find out.

- Especially not his parents. He would have hell personally sent to him in a cute little death package if they ever found out he was dating someone.

- He tried his best not to show any trace of him being in a relationship during practice.

- But alas, Tendou once sneaked up on you two holding hands at school and instantly knew.

- This redhead announced it to the whole team that you two were dating and you almost beat him up.

- Now, he’s opened up a lot more about this than when it first started.

- No, his parents still don’t know about you two.

- But his friends knew not to hit on you, and the volleyball team would constantly tease him when you walked by, making kissy noises and over the top fake moans. Tendou once shoved two balls up his chest just to imitate you. You looked over to see your third year senior with an ahegao face, two volleyballs unevenly shoved into his shirt as he skipped around. You stared in disgust, giving him a slight scowl before turning around and continuing with your shit.

- Needless to say his other balls were absolutely wrecked by Goshiki.

- Will spoil you so badly like damn.

- Occasional gifts from lil bowl cut is something you should definitely expect.

- Sometimes you’ll just randomly find a new pair of earrings or a new phone case on your desk with a note from him, while your classmates stare in awe and lowkey envy you from afar.

- Very, very frequent dates.

- I’m talking like every weekend, and sometimes even after school on friday.

- Dates planned by Goshiki aren’t ever extravagant or anything, but god damn do they make you feel blessed. Usually it’s just to a cute cafe, maybe a carnival, or a movie date.

- Dates planned by you though? Ohohohoho he was in for so much fun. I’m talking trampoline parks, amusement parks, gaming cafes, volleyball dates, all that fun shit.

- You would let him teach you how to play volleyball, and end up laughing your ass off at how incredibly bad you were while he kinda just gives up on teaching you and goofs around.

- Your hands running through his hair is literally the best thing he has ever felt no cap.

- Likes to cup your cheeks a lot, just to make you flustered.

- (Secretly loves it so much when he’s able to make you all blushy because oh my god you look so cute.)

- You’re not allowed to sleepover at his, nor is he allowed to sleepover at yours because strict parents!

- The rare times when your parents allow you to go “help your friend Goshiki study,” you guys actually do serious studying.

- Then right after that comes the cuddling.

- Okay let’s be real, Goshiki would probably be really awkward at the start.

- He’d probably try make sure you were comfortable, so his body would be twisted into some weird position.

- But he eventually found his favourite way to cuddle with you, in a way where both of you could just lay in peace comfortably without breaking your backs.

- Most times, he would lie sideways on his bed facing you. He’d snake one hand around your lower back, the other to your head as he pulls you in close, resting you against his chest. You could hear his heartbeat, which sped up every time you nuzzled against him.

- Cute.

- Will give you pecks on the lips every single morning when he first sees you, wherever he is.

- It do not matter to him how many people are watching, he do not care. At all.

- Holds your hand e v e r y w h e r e .

- He’s also very fond of forehead kisses.

- He just finds them so heartwarming and intimate in a non sexual way.

- Every time something was bothering you, or you were just breaking down because of how shitty life was, he knows exactly what to do.

- He’d pull you into a tight hug, kissing the top of your head while drawing circles on your back with his fingers.

- If it was worse and you were crying, he likes to wipe your tears for you, kissing the stains on your cheeks, before planting a soft kiss on your forehead.

- Loves it when you wear his hoodies.

- They’re oversized on you and oh my god sweater paws are the death of him. 

- You’re honestly relieved he’s not looking for anything sexual. 

- He’s too pure for that shit, keep his innocence.

- You made a promise to cheer for him wearing his jersey whenever he played in matches, and you’ve never broken it.

- PDA.

- SO MUCH PDA.

- This boy. He loves showing you off to his teammates so much.

- “I may not be as good as Ushijima at volleyball yet, but at least I’m not a crusty single bitch.” -Goshiki to some rando that insulted his skills and personality

- “You guys go look for your own plus ones to the school dance, I’m keeping y/n.” -Goshiki to his friends

- “Stop imitating her Tendou-san, it’s insulting to her. You’re too odd to get even close to imitating her accurately.” -Goshiki to Tendou who had volleyballs in his shirt and pants

- Please just protect him at all costs, he’s so precious.

Love how the request was for relationship hcs and I ended up writing more backstory lmaoo

Still hope you liked it though I worked on this for days xx🥺🥰

[atomicwedgienerd]

The Grease

Eddy had that kind of hair that made people jealous. It was thick, wavy, and he never seemed to have to do anything to it. He woke up in the morning, ran his fingers through his hair, and just went about the day. His messy bedhead always looked intentional but it was nothing more than good genes and the luck of the draw, and that was the way Eddy liked it. He viewed his hair as the perfect extension of his personality: carefree, wild, and completely untamed. And despite the fact that he put very little effort into things, Eddy always came out on top. He had coasted his way through high school, charmed his way through college, and now he had half-assed his way to a position as an art director for one of the west coast’s premiere surfboard companies. The work was easy, and it left him plenty of time every day for surfing. Eddy had it made.

One day on his way back from the beach, Eddy caught a passing glimpse of himself in a shop window. He could see that his mane was getting unruly, even for himself. All that saltwater was good for volume but damn could it do a number on split ends. Even a guy like Eddy knew you had to do some upkeep. As he continued on his way home, he noticed a barbershop he hadn’t seen before: Berger and Sons. From the striped pole out front to the subway tile lining the walls, this place looked like one of the classic shops you’d see if you googled “1950s barbershop.” Eddy had seen a few of these retro throwback barbershops open in different spots over the city but they had always seemed a little too traditional for a guy like him. Regardless, Eddy had a meeting the next week with a client and figured it couldn’t hurt to have a little touch up on his flowing locks. Plus, if he did it now, it wouldn’t look like he had gotten all dolled up for the meeting. Looking like he didn’t care was alllllll part of Eddy’s allure.

A bell tinkled as he entered the shop and Eddy immediately noticed the smell. A sweet but nearly antiseptic odor hit his nose, reminding him of his grandfather right after he had shaved. Yep, this place was definitely old school. The barber waved him over and patted the seat, inviting Eddy to sit down.

“Welcome to Berger and Sons,” he said. “Let me guess, you want a headshave?” Before Eddy could even react, the barber had burst out laughing. “Just a little light barber humor!”

“Very light,” Eddy deadpanned. “I’m not looking for anything too crazy. Just wanna get these split ends cleaned up.” 

“Ah, an easy enough task,” said the barber as he threw the cape over Eddy’s body and began spritzing his hair with a mist. 

“So is it just you?” asked Eddy, looking around at the otherwise empty barbershop. “I thought the sign said Berger and Sons.” 

“Well, I’m Nestor Berger,” he explained. “So that part’s accurate. Don’t actually have any sons but I figured the name would convey the sort of traditional barbershop experience I try to offer. You see, in these modern times, there’s a lot of people who don’t really appreciate the…” The barber’s voice started to trail off. The scent from the mist he had sprayed in Eddy’s hair was so powerful--so sweet and intoxicating--that Eddy had started to zone out. He felt warm, he felt comfortable, and he felt relaxed. The shop drifted away from him and suddenly he felt someone tapping him on his shoulder.

“Sir? Sir!” said the barber until Eddy snapped back. “What do you think?” Eddy’s eyes came back in focus and he saw his reflection in the mirror and gasped. The barber had ruined his hair. Where his flowing bedhead had been was now a heavily slicked, extremely greasy, and overly combed hairstyle the likes of which one would see on someone from the 1950s. 

“I just asked for the split ends cleaned up!” Eddy bellowed. 

“And that’s really all I did!” smiled the barber. “Ok, I may have taken a little bit off here and there but there’s still length.” The barber showed Eddy the back of the hairstyle in a handheld mirror where the sides and top had been slicked back into a greasy tail. “I just figured I would give you a more dapper appearance. This is a homemade hair grease you know. You can only get it here.”

“Well I didn’t ask for it,” Eddy said as he threw off the cape and stood up to leave. “No wonder your shop is so empty! Maybe try listening to your customers!”

“A barber has to do what he knows is right for each customer,” the barber grinned. “Trust me, you’ll be back!”

“The fuck I will,” Eddy said as he stormed out the shop.

He was furious! He stopped to gawk at himself in a parked car’s side view mirror. This nerdy retro haircut was the opposite of everything Eddy was about! It was rigid, traditional, and just plain uncool. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket. It was his buddies asking him out for a night of drinks. “Sure,” he texted back. “Just let me go home and wash my hair real quick.”

Eddy had never washed his hair that intensely in his life. He shampooed it twice, conditioned it thrice! He even blow dried it. He put a little salt spray in it and when he felt it looked the right level of mussed, he got dressed and headed out to meet his buddies.

---

Lee, Kirk and Drew were at the bar doing shots when Eddy walked in. He waved at them and they gave him an odd glance and ignored him, before Lee did a double take and started cackling. “Eddy! Over here!” Eddy jogged over to join his pals. 

“We saved a shot for you,” Drew said, laughing. “So uh, what’s going on here? Trying out a new look?”

“Well I washed my hair,” Eddy said, “but I wouldn’t say it’s a new…” He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror behind the bar. Eddy’s hair was back in the heavily greased, retro sidepart he had when he stormed out of the barbershop. It looked just as fresh as when he snapped out of his weird daze and saw it for the first time. He touched it in horror and as he pulled his hand away from his hair, his fingers came back with a thick sheen of greasy, oily product that overwhelmed him with that same scent he remembered from the barber shop. His eyes went blank for a moment before he snapped back to reality.

“It’s.. nice,” Kirk said with a wry smile as he handed his buddy the shot of whiskey. “Just very different.” Eddy took the shot and paused. What was going on? He had washed his hair… hadn’t he? He did have to admit though: the haircut did look sort of nifty. Nifty? Where did that word even pop into his head? 

He laughed and threw back his head, downing the shot. It burned terribly, like he had never tasted alcohol before and he began coughing and sputtering as the shot came back up and sprayed on his friends. They erupted in laughter at him. 

“Maybe you should get a glass of milk instead,” Lee said. Eddy protested--although it did sound kind of nice. But no, he was a grown man. He could drink a beer! But even that didn’t seem very nice.

“You know what guys? I’m not feeling super nifty.” There was that damn word again. “I think I’m going to go home and get some rest.”

“Come on, man! It’s still early!” Kirk shouted. 

“No no,” said Drew. “Let the man get his rest. Hope you feel niftier tomorrow.” Eddy blushed. His face felt on fire. His friends were mocking him! He stormed out the door as he could hear his friends burst into laughter. 

“Gosh darnit!” Eddy blurted as he marched down the street. He had intended to use stronger language but it just didn’t come out that way. How strange. When he got home, he decided to put on some football to calm his nerves but stopped on a channel showing old episodes of Leave It To Beaver. He couldn’t help himself. He had to watch.

By 10pm, he was already fast asleep.

------

Eddy’s alarm went off at 6 in the morning. He shot to attention and was shocked when he saw the time. He hadn’t been up at 6 in the morning in years, and yet, his phone had it listed as an alarm that went off every day.

He went to go brush his teeth and was shocked to see his hair still stuck in that crisp, greasy and exceptionally conservative side part. He hopped in the shower and scrubbed and shampooed and when he finally got out, his hair was a sopping, stringy mess. Thank goodness. The grease was finally out, and, just to be safe, Eddy decided to let it air dry. After all, he had plans to go surfing with the boys later, provided they weren’t going to be too mean to him after last night.

Eddy actually felt intimidated by that, which was ridiculous. He had always been the leader and now he felt concerned about what the other guys would think! It was just one rough night; they would forget it soon enough. After all, Eddy was the best surfer among them and he would re-assert himself at the top of the food chain. He gave himself a smile in the mirror as a familiar scent began to wash over him: the same scent from the barber shop.

Suddenly, Eddy’s phone rang and he found himself dazed in a strange location. He didn’t quite know where he was. He answered the phone.

“Bro where the fuck are you?” he heard Kirk say, the sound of waves crashing coming through the phone. “You were supposed to be here an hour ago!”

Where the fuck was he? Eddy looked around and realized he was in some sort of convention hall. Tables and tables stretched in all directions, each of them covered in protective lucite boxes containing… stamps!? He saw the banner: West Coast Philatelist Convention. 

“I’m at a philately convention,” he said.

“A what, bro?”

“Stamps,” Eddy said. “It’s a stamp collector. It’s a convention for stamp collectors.” The sound of unmistakable laughter arose from the other side of the phone.

“He’s at a stamp collecting convention!” he heard Kirk say to the others whose laughter quickly echoed from the receiver. “Well, uh, I hate to interrupt that exciting occurrence but you gonna join us at the beach?”

“Of course,” said Eddy. “I just wanted to stop in here and uh…. Look I’ll be there soon, ok!?” He quickly hung up in shame. He started heading for the door when he caught his reflection in a piece of lucite and gasped.

The hair had come back. Greasier than before. He touched it and his hand came away with a thick coating of sticky wet hair product. His hair was practically dripping. Then, Eddy caught the rest of his reflection. He was dressed in a pair of grey dress slacks and a white button down shirt. Tucked. In.

Something was wrong. Eddy would never wear this. He looked like a little dork! He had to get home, but first, he was going to stop at that barber shop and get some answers! He headed for the door but then he caught a glimpse of some fascinating stamps.

“Oooh those are actually pretty neato!” he said aloud. He couldn’t believe he was saying that… or thinking it. But he when he got close to the table, he was dazzled by how cool the stamps were. A vintage series commemorating Star Trek! They were so awesome! He couldn’t help himself. He pulled out his wallet and hesitated.

What was he doing? This wasn’t him. But these stamps were really neato completo. What the heck? Life is short. He plunked down his credit card and bought a few, as well as a book to store them in. 

“You’re gonna need to fill that up, sonny!” smiled the vendor. Eddy couldn’t help himself. He desperately wanted to leave and meet up with his buddies but he couldn’t help himself from examining other tables, buying more vintage stamps, and striking up conversations with other philatelists. Before he knew it, the convention was closing and it was time to go. His phone had dozens of missed calls and texts from the boys wondering where he was. Something very strange was going on indeed.

As he headed back to his apartment with his new stamp book full of old stamps, he spotted a vintage store with a display in the window. The mannequin was dressed in a way that should have made Eddy recoil. It was dressed in a short sleeved white button down with a thin black bowtie. The black flat front slacks came up to its belly button and were cinched with a thin brown belt. On its feet, vintage white crew socks hung in furls as they went into the shiny black penny loafers. This was the outfit of an unmistakable nerd, a relic of a bygone era representing a sort of clean cut, goody two shoes attitude that had always revolted Eddy. But for a brief moment, he saw his reflection where the mannequin’s head was, his face and slicked up hair on the outfit. It almost seemed right, but he shook his head and snapped out of it. 

In a panic, Eddy headed back to his hip apartment and slammed the door. He turned on the TV and tried to relax but couldn’t. Eventually, he flipped to an old episode of Leave It To Beaver and found himself mesmerized. Everyone was so polite and clean cut and old-fashioned. By 9pm, he was asleep.

Before Eddy knew it, it was already 6pm Sunday evening. He had no idea where the time had gone but when he looked around his apartment, he began to get dizzy. Everything looked… different. That’s when memories came flooding back. 

He saw himself at 6am, waking up nice and early, and calling a company to come take his furniture away. Then a flash and he was at the antique store flashing his credit card around and buying all kinds of retro furniture. Another flash and he was at the vintage store loading up a cart with dorky looking clothes. And another flash and he was back at the apartment, showing movers where to place all his many purchases.

Another flash and he was back in the present, standing in his apartment which he no longer recognized. The entire thing looked like it was a set from Leave It To Beaver. His flat screen TV had been replaced with an old woodpaneled TV from the 50s with an antenna on it. His workout equipment replaced with a chess table and two chairs. His slick leather couch was gone and in its place was a floral patterned retro sofa. Everything about his apartment looked old fashioned and drab. All of his records had been replaced as an LP of Bert Kaempfaert’s greatest hits played over the hifi. He ran to his room and gasped. His waterbed had been replaced with a single twin mattress, the bland gray sheets tucked and folded with military precision. Then, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and nearly fainted.

He was wearing a pair of shiny red Converses with white socks and cuffed, deep blue, highwaisted straight legged jeans. His shirt, an orange and green plaid number, was tucked into and fastened in place with a cheap brown belt. In the pocket of the shirt, a pristine white pocket protector sat overloaded with pens and pencils and tools. A dorky white undershirt poked out from under the button down. On top of all that, he had a bright red cardigan with white piping and a big letter B like he was in school or something. He was dressed like he was president of the chess club 1955! And of course, on top of his head, sat an exceedingly greasy slicked haircut that was now nearly jet black. He touched it in horror as his fingers came away thick with the grease.

The grease! This had all started with the grease and that barber shop and that awful barber! He would have answers to what was going on. He could help Eddy undo whatever was happening. Eddy would go and find him and get this all sorted out. But not dressed like this! He tore through his closet and found most of his clothes had been replaced. That would be a pain to fix. But in the top, in a corner he must have missed earlier, he found some sweatpants and an old tank top. He didn’t look as cool as he had hoped, but it was better than the Leave It To Beaver nerd look he had been sporting earlier. 

Eddy ran out onto the street and started hurrying to the barber shop. As he waited at an intersection, he saw himself in a window and gasped. Somehow, he was back in that outfit! The cardigan, the dorky shirt, the highwaisted jeans! Something strange was going on. The grease was changing him, affecting his perception. He had to get to the bottom of this.

A few more blocks and he found himself across the street from Berger and Sons Barbershop. The lights were on so Eddy knew he could get some answers. But the light wouldn’t change. Eddy waited and waited but it didn’t change. There was no traffic. He could just jaywalk across the street. But try as he might, he couldn’t get himself to do it. A little voice in his head kept telling him that it was against the rules. Since when had that mattered? Eddy never followed any rules! But he simply HAD to all of a sudden. His rebellious nature was defeated and he could not cross the street without the light changing. 

It didn’t. Something was stopping it from happening and Eddy couldn’t cross. Defeated, he returned home, fiddled with his TV antenna, and fell asleep watching more Leave It To Beaver.

--------

“Eddy, can I have a word with you in my office?” he heard his boss saying. Eddy blinked and found himself in the conference room of his office, his coworkers staring at him with a smattering of cheeky smirks and barely restrained laughter. He recognized the clients he had a meeting with on Monday but… was it already Monday? He looked down and groaned. He saw it: the outfit from the mannequin. The dorky bowtie, the short white sleeved shirt, the flat fronted highwaisted pants, the slouchy white socks, and of course the super shiny penny loafers. He turned around and saw his presentation: just a big white posterboard that said “Surfboarding: It’s Neato Completo.” All the work he had done for months was gone and this was what he showed up to the meeting with? All his passion for surfboarding and this was the best he had? But when he thought about it, he could barely even remember himself surfing. All he could think about was how much he wanted to get home, look at his stamp collection, and maybe read up on some chess maneuvers. What was happening to him?

Needless to say, Eddy’s meeting with his boss was short. They offered him a month of severance and told him to pack up his stuff and leave. They couldn’t have a square like him working at a surfboarding company. He looked at all the beach memorabilia at his desk and just threw it in the trashcan. It didn’t seem like his anymore anyways.

As he walked back home, he could feel everyone staring at him, giggling at his outfit, looking at his big greasy haircut. He felt dejected and embarrassed and could barely see where he was going. He just looked at the ground and shuffled his penny loafers. When he finally looked up, he saw where he was and he wasn’t surprised. Berger and Sons Barbershop.

The bell tinkled as he entered the shop. Mr. Berger looked up and smiled.

“I knew you’d be back. How are you feeling about the haircut?”

Eddy sighed. “I hate it. Well I hated it, but I can’t make it go away and every day I just feel like it suits me more and more. I don’t know what’s happening!”

“That’s the power of a good grease,” said Mr. Berger. “Once you go slick, you just have to stick!”

“Gee whiz,” said Eddy. “I guess so. I just feel so different now.”

“Would you like me to wash it out? You can go back to the way you were. Or…”

“Or?” asked Eddy.

“Or I can apply one more coating and make it permanent. One more coating of pomade and you’ll be a good retro nerdy boy forever. The choice is yours.”

Eddy sighed a breath of relief. The nightmare was finally over. He was ready to make his choice. And then the strong smell overwhelmed him.

“I’d like to stay this way forever!” Inside, Eddy was screaming. That wasn’t what he wanted at all but the grease was making him say it. The grease was making him sit in the chair. The grease was taking his will to fight. The grease made him sit politely and smile as Mr. Berger took a huge scoop of hair product and began working it into Eddy’s jet black hair. When he was finally done, Mr. Berger spun Eddy around and said, “What do you think?”

Eddy looked at himself in the mirror… and couldn’t see anything. It was a blur.

“Oh of course,” said Mr. Berger. “You’ll be needing these now.” He pulled out a pair of clunky black rimmed glasses with thick lenses and placed them on Eddy’s nose before fastening them in place with a tight elastic strap. The world came into focus and Eddy saw himself in the mirror.

The hair was even neater, even more retro, and even greasier looking than before. The thick black glasses just complimented the hair perfectly. When Eddy reached up to touch his hair, it felt nearly plastic. It didn’t budge at all. This truly was the haircut he was stuck with.

“Gee whiz, it looks neato completo Sir!” he said with a goofy grin plastered on his face.

“You don’t have to call me Sir,” Mr. Berger smiled. He handed Eddy his wallet back and opened it to the ID holder. Eddy’s license had been replaced with a new one. The picture showed Eddy in his thick glasses and greased up hair and where his name should be it read “Edward Berger.”

“Berger and Sons Barber,” Mr. Berger smiled. “I just knew you had potential.”

“Golly thanks for the swell haircut, Dad!” Eddy--or was it Edward--said with a grin.

“Say, son, I know you got fired from your job and I was thinking… isn’t it time you joined the family business?”

-----

From that day forward, Edward Berger spent every day in the barbershop learning the craft. His nights were spent in his dorky apartment studying chess maneuvers, listening to lounge music, and watching Leave It To Beaver. He was in bed by 9pm every night and awake by 5am every day. He wore a tie and pocket protector every day to the barber shop and even on most weekends. Whenever he was on the street, people would point and laugh at him but Edward Berger never felt ashamed. He knew it was better to be a clean cut retro goody two shoes than the hip rebel he had used to be. Besides, nobody had a spiffier haircut than he did.

Finally, the day came when Mr. Berger thought Edward was ready to ply his trade on clients of his own.

“I sent out a few invitations for free haircuts to get you some people to try your greasing skills on.”

The bell jingled and three men walked into the shop. Edward pushed up his thick glasses and ran a hand over his thick plasticene haircut. The men seemed almost familiar but he couldn’t remember why. They signed in and Edward picked up the sign in sheet. 

“Well hello and greetings fellas and welcome to Berger and Sons Barbers. So nice to meet you…” He glanced down at the sign in sheet. “Lee, Drew, and Kirk. Now which one of you is up first?”

The three men laughed at this absolute retro nerdy joke before them. Little did they know, they’d be just like him soon enough.

If you liked this story, why not join us in the nerdification discord? Surely someone has a magic hair grease that will turn you into a retro goody two shoes nerd!

[welcometo-ourlife]

So.... Valentines was great. Matt and I gave each other our gifts a day early and had a delicious steak dinner.

Here is where the fun begins...

2/14/2021: Mostly a chill day, waiting for the snow to come. Prepared for a nice couple of days at home until the weather settled down. It started to snow about 10pm and we took obligatory Texas snow pics. Matt and I stayed up til about 4am just giddy about the snow and even enjoyed ourselves in a quick snowball fight.

2/15/2021: Another chill day. Woke up to a winter wonderland and shocked it was still there. If your from Texas you know that ANY snow here melts away by morning. Example: 2017. We had been hearing many reports from the news, social feeds, family and friends that they had no power, heat or water. CPS (our energy company) started rolling outsges which were suppose to be organized but they weren't. Luckily our home had not been hit with the rolling outages yet and we had power the whole day. Our cell service has been super bad.. sometimes don't even work.. compliments of the outages. We made a large pot of chili for dinner and played some games on the PS5 before going to bed.

2/16/2021: We lost power at 8AM. Honestly we just stayed home and chilled some more in the dark. Dressed up in double layers and tried to stay warm. We even tried boiling some water over a candle to try and make some coffee. 🤣 Ate some sandwiches pretty early on because we didn't know when we would have power again and needed to eat before anything started to spoil in the refrigerator. Later in the afternoon we ventured out to find any store that would be open to maybe find some wood or charcoal since we have a fire pit. The roads were still pretty bad and majority of the highways and roads were closed down so we couldn't really go far. Also, lines to get in anywhere were atrocious. I mean wrapped around buildings so we stopped at a Valero, got some coffee, and went back home. Our power came back on at 5PM and we ate leftover chili. I quickly made a pot of coffee and ran 2 loads of laundry to make sure we had clean warm clothes. Unsure of when of if or when we would lose power again. Sure enough it turned off at 11pm so we just went to bed. At this point still many people have not had power, heat, and some water for over 24 hours. Including family members.

2/17/2021: While we were asleep the power turned on again around 2am but was off again by 4am. It was enough to warm up the house a bit. We rolled out of bed around 11am and bundled up to go find a gas station and fill up the truck. Unleaded is pretty much hard to find and lines to even get gas were long. We ended up just getting premium gas which I'm sure will be out soon enough. We found an open Chinese food place so we got some food and headed home. On the way back to the house my dad texted me and said the power was back on (1:20pm) so we were able to come home to a decent warm house. Around 4pm we found out our city is under a boil water notice meaning any tap water we drink will need to be boiled first. So I boiled up enough water to fill up 3 pitchers and put them outside to get cold. Buying bottled water is out if three picture is out of the question cause it's sold out pretty much everywhere. About 8:20PM and our power is out again. Which leads me to now. Writing this post. Luckily we have not had any water issues or pipes freezing like others. Phone service is still really spotty. I'm sure we will be calling it a night soon.

AND WE HAVE POWER AGAIN! As I'm writing this. 😁

Will update again soon. We are expecting more snow in the early morning and tomorrow. I just want to blog this now so I can look back!

[blueandyellow1]

Witch Hunt Chapter 12: Discussion

Ao3 link.

Yellow was in the middle of her intermediate level class when her phone began to ring and wouldn’t stop. After beginning her students on the next series of movements, she quickly excused herself, cursing herself for forgetting to turn it on silent.

When she finally made it to the offending device, she saw dozens of missed calls and messages from her sister. Frowning, she opened the phone’s menu, only for another incoming call to fill the screen.

“What’s going on?” the blonde says, trying not to raise her voice.

“Finally! I was worried you were dead or something.” Connie’s voice is teasing.

“I’m in the middle of a class,” Yellow hisses, her temper rising.

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Connie’s voice deflates.

Yellow sighs. “If this isn’t an emergency, I’ll call you back when class is over, okay?”

“Wait! It’s big news about Mission Blue, I just got a little carried away and forgot you had classes. Call me as soon as it’s over okay?”

The line goes dead. Yellow lets out another sigh, trying to calm her nerves. Part of her wanted to be upset with her sister for interrupting her lesson, and another part wanted to call her right back and demand and update.

But a gentle hum of voices from the other side of the studio brought her focus back. Yellow placed her phone back in her bag and carefully arranged her face back into its passive resting position. She still had a class to teach.

…

After the last student had left for the day, Yellow was tasked with cleaning the studio. She grabbed her phone and dialed Connie as she grabbed a broom. As she listened to the ringing, she wiped a bead of sweat from her brow.

“Yellow!” Connie’s voice was bright.

“Hey, Cons. I’m all done for the day. What did you want to talk about?”

“Yes, Mission Blue. I thought we needed a cool code name for it.”

The blonde snorted. “That’s silly.”

“Oh come on! This is the coolest thing I’ve done in years. It might be the most awesome thing I’ve ever done in my life. Aren’t you at least a little excited?”

“I am!” Yellow insisted, sweeping her broom hard. “I’ll do all I can to help Blue.”

Connie giggled. “Oh, I know you will. You and her are so going to get together, I can feel it.”

“We kind of already are,” Yellow muttered under her breath before speaking louder. “Anyway, I thought you had some big news?”

“Yes, huge news.” Connie’s voice suddenly turns serious. “I think we should go look for the witch this weekend.”

Yellow stops mid sweep. “This weekend? As in tomorrow?”

“Yes. My Friday lecture was cancelled, and I know you get off work early. Plus, Monday is a holiday! That gives us three and a half days.”

“Connie. We don’t have anything to offer her. We don’t have a plan, we don’t even have part of a plan!” Yellow placed the broom back in its spot and began to pace.

“Give me some credit, Yellow. I have a plan. A whole plan.”

“What?” Yellow stopped her pacing. “How could you have a plan? I just talked to you yesterday and we had no solid ideas!”

“Give me some credit! Now do you want to hear the plan or not?”

Yellow sighed. “Yes, of course. What is it?”

“We agree to work for her.”

“What!?” The blonde nearly yelled. “That’s a terrible idea!”

“Okay, ouch? Hear me out. The witch uses the bodies she takes for work right? Well surely two workers are better than just one body! Three even, if Blue agrees. Don’t you think that’s a fair trade? Three for the price of one!”

“Connie, this witch is crazy though! She steals bodies and brings people back from the dead. I don’t think she’d agree to something so simple. Besides, even if she does agree, she’d probably have us do awful things like skin animals for their flesh and bones or something. Not to mention, Blue would never allow this. You know she’s already hesitant to let us do this for her.”

There was a moment of silence on the phone. In the seconds that passed, there was enough to make Yellow regret her outburst. But just as she opened her mouth to apologize, Connie spoke again.

“I found a photo of her daughter.”

“I’m--What?”

“A photo. It’s a black and white photo, I don’t even know how it was taken, but I found it in a book. There was a handwritten note that said that it was 'the lost treasure’. I don’t know what that means. But I think it’s important. The book I found it in, it was in the sports section, with another cover. But when I opened it, this picture fell out. I think we can use it as a bargaining piece.”

Yellow grabbed her bag, holding her phone on her shoulder. “Cons, this is kind of a big deal.”

“I know! That’s why I kept calling you!”

The blonde walked out the door to her studio, locking the door behind her. The winter wind was chilling, but she barely noticed. A fire burned in her mind as her thoughts raced. She tried to think of more questions to ask, but all of her thoughts ended up at the same place. She needed to talk to Blue.

“Okay, I am walking home now. I’ll talk to Blue about this and tell her we have something the witch might want.”

“Yes that’s a good idea. You should fill her in before I get there. I’ll be there in about an hour, and we can all talk this through before leaving.”

Yellow nearly tripped. “Excuse me? In an hour?”

Connie laughed. “Yeah, you’re off work now, right? We can leave as soon as I get there! I bought us bus tickets at 10pm. It’s late, but that was the cheapest time so bring snacks and some coffee!”

Instead of giving into the rising panic at her throat, Yellow laughed. “I can’t believe we’re doing this! We haven’t even found out if Blue can leave with us! This is insane.”

“I have a theory for how to bring Blue. Just wait until I get there okay? That way I can tell you both at the same time.”

The line clicked. Yellow sighed, running a hand through her hair, fingers crunching through the gel she used. She was still wearing her gi, things had been too intense to stop to change. She quickened her pace, just wanting to get home to Blue and think through this whirlwind of information.

I suppose it’s better this way, she thought wryly, I don’t even have time to overthink.

Walking back to her apartment was normally a quick walk, but she managed to come in half of her usual time, a record.

Once stepping through the doorway, she flung her bag down and called out to the spirit, “Blue, are you here? Azurea?” Then, she muttered to herself, “Please be here, I don’t want to walk through the apartment complex calling for you.”

||Is something the matter, Yellow?||

The blonde couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face at the gentle voice. She stuck her arms out as she walked into the room. “You’re here!”

Blue appeared at her side, a hand placed on her right shoulder. She nodded.

||Yes, I said I would be here when you arrived. You are a few minutes early.||

“Oh, I’m sorry. You did say that. It’s just that Connie called and…” Yellow hesitated. She didn’t want to scare the phantom, who had already voiced her worries at their rapid planning.

Slender fingers raised up to brush against her cheek.

||What is it? Your hair is slightly mussed, is something troubling you?||

Yellow flushes, running her hands through her hair once more. “I guess you picked up on that nervous habit,” she said with a laugh.

The spirit gave her a small smile, her blue eyes seemed to glow. For a moment, Yellow lost herself in those eyes.

Almost unconsciously, she blurted out, “Connie is coming in an hour and we’re leaving to find the witch tonight.”

Blue recoiled in shock, her hands flying to her cover her open mouth with a gasp. Yellow panicked, throwing her arms out, as if to embrace her. “No, Blue wait!” she cried, cursing herself for not being so direct.

After a few moments, Blue spoke, her voice slightly shaking and muffled from behind her fingers.

||I’m sorry. This is all so sudden and Connie is coming and we’re leaving tonight? How am I going to come?||

Tears began to slip from cerulean eyes and Yellow felt her heart twist. She wrapped her arms around Blue’s apparition, hoping that the gesture would provide some form of comfort. “It’s okay, Connie has a plan. She has something that we can trade the witch for your body. We can do this.”

Blue was silent. The blonde watched as tears streamed down her face. She looks so beautiful, she thought to herself, feeling her cheeks warm.

When Blue finally spoke, her words were slightly slurred, and they came tumbling out of her mouth. Her panic was clear, and Yellow moved a hand to her head, wishing she could stroke the silvery strands that floated around her.

||I don’t want you to get hurt because of me, the witch is so powerful, she might not want to give it back, I don’t want to anger her, you and Connie are going through all this for me, I’m not worth all the trouble, and oh, why are you looking at me like that?||

The glowing eyes disappeared as Blue covered her face. She was trembling, and her hair whipped around her. Suddenly, a blue light washed over the room.

Tears gathered in Yellows eyes as she fought the rising wave of panic. “Blue! Blue, slow down!” she nearly yelled.

Luckily, the shout got the spirit’s attention, and a glance at the tears in Yellow’s eyes dissipated the blue aura.

||I’m sorry.||

Blue wrapped her arms around herself, sinking down to the floor. She hugged her knees to her chest.

Yellow looked at her, her gaze still intense. In those seconds, Blue felt as if her skin was burning, and just when she thought she couldn’t take it for another moment, the blond spoke.

“You are worth it. I would do so much for you. I lo--” Yellow choked and cleared her throat before continuing, “I like you a lot. We’re going to do this, and no one will get hurt. I’m a good fighter, and besides, we have something she might want. We have a picture of her daughter.”

Cobalt eyes widened.

||A photograph? How is that possible? There were no cameras back then.||

The thin woman shrugged. “I don’t know. Connie found it. She can probably explain more when she gets here. I just wanted to tell you before she comes.”

Blue nodded, taking deep breaths.

“Will you be alright?” Yellow asked softly.

||Yes...I’m sorry for my outburst.||

“You don’t need to be sorry for your emotions, Blue. I know we’re moving quickly. I didn’t even know we were leaving so soon. Connie told me about the plan when I was walking home from work. She can be infuriatingly impulsive sometimes.”

To her relief, Blue laughed. She grinned back, savoring the beautiful sound.

||My sister was often rash too, always making plans at the last minute. But there’s beauty in that, as well, a chaotic beauty.||

Stars began to form in Yellow’s eyes as she gazed into Blue’s. “You’re so wise,” she said solemnly, reverently.

This earned her another laugh, and pride blossomed in her chest at the accomplishment. Almost without thinking, she leaned in to plant a kiss on the spirit’s lips.

But then the door swung open, and the two jerked apart, flushing as they looked to Connie standing in the doorway.

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Only For A Moment Ch. 34

Only For A Moment Master List

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Summary: For most of your life you’d been able to keep your abilities a secret, that is until Hydra got wind of you. After years of being in their clutches, you break out when The Avengers expose SHIELD/Hydra. Since then, you’ve been on the run. Things are going as well as you could hope when you see a familiar face… Could the Winter Soldier really be in Bucharest too?

Warnings: Feels, fluff, cute shit.

A/N: Muh babies. Muh reader (who I call Jude for anyone that cares). Just... I really want them to be happy. Y’all gotta know that. Like I have fucking FEELINGS for these characters. It sucks lol. 

Just a heads up. Y’all may be getting a real beefy chapter 34 next week. I know most of these have been pretty short thus far (clocking in under 2k words) but I’m having a hard time finding the right place to cut it. SO let me know: Do you like that these chapters are shorter? Do you want beefier chapters? I wanna know! 

Love y’all!!!

Tags are open!

The feeling of his lips on your palm sends shivers up your spine. You want those lips, that mouth… everywhere. But it’s far from time for that.

No matter how much you think you can’t pinpoint what may have set him off. Maybe something out on the job today? Too many people?

“Buck…” You can’t seem to form the words, not wanting to pry but your concern sits heavy in your chest.

He smiles, you’re surprised to see it reach his eyes, “The pie,” your brows knit in confusion. “I… my Ma used to make apple pie all the time… the smell just… caught me off guard is all. Lot’s of memories.” Gently he strokes your face with his right fingers, “Good memories.”

You can’t help but smile even though your heart is breaking for him, “Do… do you want some? Made fresh coffee too.”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” he looks down at his dirty clothes. “Let me change first.” Lowering yourself to the floor you move out of his way.

When the bathroom door closes you stare at it for a second worry eating at you. Even good memories could hurt… especially when they were linked to loss. You knew that all too well. It kills you a little that it hit him so hard.

This just solidifies a thought you had earlier in the day. He needs a phone if he doesn’t have one. If he had one you could have told him you were making a pie. It would have been passing to you but he could have mentally prepared maybe. Not to mention the less innocuous reasons to have a way to contact one another.

You’re moving the tall stack of CDs and the laptop from the table when he comes out. The white tee strains over his chest as his muscles subtly move under the fabric while he dries his hands on a small towel. Its hem skims the top of the loose jeans slung low on his hips. You swallow hard and turn back to your task.

“What’s all this?” He asks with a smile.

“Your musical education.” You set the laptop and CDs on the counter by the stove before turning to get you both pie and coffee. “Or the beginning of it.”

He laughs a little picking up the top CD, Queen’s greatest hits. “I liked whatever you had on earlier.”

“I should hope so,” you turn back to him smirking, “if not we would be having some serious problems. Queen is non-negotiable.”

“Noted. Here,” he comes over and grabs the plates with a slice each, carrying them to the table.

You follow with the coffee, “I haven’t made pie in years,” you sit across from him, “so don’t judge it too harshly.”

A half smile lifts his lips, “I have no doubt it’ll be amazing.” He reaches across the table, his fingers grazing the back of your hand wrapped around the mug, “Thank you.”

“It’s just pie,” he rolls his eyes playfully, “but you’re welcome.”

He takes a bite, eyes closing as he savors it, and you anxiously wait for feedback. When his eyes open, he catches your stare. He laughs, “Are you gonna watch me eat the whole thing?”

“Just nervous,” you grumble, shoving a bite in your own mouth, mostly for the distraction. Honestly, it’s pretty damn good.

“It’s great just like I knew it would be, and you,” he points with his fork, “are ridiculous.”

“I thought you said ‘amazing’,” you say over a mouth full.

This earns you a laugh, “It’s amazing. Better?”

You shake your head “I suppose.” 

For a bit you sit in comfortable silence, enjoying the treat. You chase a large bit of flaky crust with a gulp of coffee before asking, “Do you have a phone?”

He raises a brow, “That’s out of left field. But… No? Haven’t had a need… Why?”

“Thought it may be good for us to have some way to get in touch. Like if one of us runs late or if there’s pie waiting,” Or if the group of Nazis who tortured us for years shows up. You know you don’t have to say the last bit. It’s implied.

He nods, “Good point.” Taking another bite he looks pensive. “Phones are easy to track though.”

“Not if you set ‘em up right,” you pull yours from your back pocket. “If anyone tracks this it’ll ping them to Africa. Hacked it myself. We can do the same to yours.”

“Sounds good. Should come up with some shorthand too. Make sure we can communicate a lot of info quickly if we need to.”

“Definitely. Tomorrow?”

“I got more stuff to do on the job,” you notice his eyes avoid yours. Interesting.

“Ok, I can grab one, get it set up.” You stand to wake up the laptop, “For now though, it’s time for school.”

By 10pm you’ve made a simple meal, the whole pie is gone, and you’ve given him a thorough history lesson on why Queen is inarguably one of the best bands of the 20th century. He sees the appeal, though some songs, such as Bicycle, give him pause. Now you’ve moved on to Fleetwood. Another non-negotiable.

His head is resting on the arm of the couch, body stretched out, legs dangling off the other end. You’re on the floor, back against the couch. Gently he runs the fingers of his right-hand through the short crop of your hair as the album Fleetwood Mac plays. Rhiannon is wrapping up and you’re half a world away in your mind, spinning on a rooftop with ghosts. His voice, soft and drowsy, pulls you back to this little apartment in Romania.  

“This makes me think of you” Bucky’s fingers pause, and a smile warms his half-closed eyes before he yawns.

Your heart tightens a little. Nix would call you Rhiannon sometimes, he knew what you could do so anything witchy he’d lovingly associate with you. You aren’t at a place to divulge this though, it’s too real, too personal.

“You look tired.” He nods. You were already in a pair of leggings you’d bought earlier and a tee, perfect sleepwear. “Come to bed,” you grab his hand and gently tug him in the direction of the mattress but he doesn’t budge.

“I’m ok here,” you give him a look. He is not a small man and it is a small couch.

“You are not.”

“Really, this is fine.”

You sigh, if he didn’t want to share a bed that was fine but there’s no way you’re letting him sleep like that. If he even can. “Don’t be ridiculous. Sleep on the bed, I can take the couch, I’m shorter.”

“Y/N-” You roll your eyes, cutting him off by wrapping your power around him and lifting him just a touch. His eyes meet yours, awestruck.

“Don’t make me move you. I can,” you smirk.

“I almost want to make you,” he grins mischievously, “just to see if you really can.”

You raise an eyebrow. Without ceremony, you will him up and let him plop hard onto the mattress with a thud. It was always easier when you were doing it for fun. He looks genuinely surprised.

“How do you think I got you in my squat after knocking you out?” His head is on your pillow and you yank it from under him with your power sending it floating to the couch.

He laughs, “I didn’t think about it honestly. It’s pretty damn impressive.”

“I know,” you wink. “You gonna sleep in your jeans?”

“If I say yes are you going to threaten to strip me?”

“Don’t tempt me.”

He reaches up from his spot on the bed and gently rubs the back of your calf with his left hand, fingers squeezing slightly. For a second you think he is going to tempt you, your mouth practically waters at the thought, but a shadow covers his features.

“I think I can handle that,” he gives you a halfhearted smile before getting up and going to the bathroom.

Disappointment wraps around you. Picking up your copy of Frankenstein from the table you cozy yourself on the couch. You finished it earlier today but had started again, from the beginning immediately. It had been a while since words had brought you a strange sense of comfort like this.

Bucky comes out in just his boxers and you force yourself to not stare, to not want what he so clearly wasn’t offering. He walks over to you and you allow him a warm smile. Something is troubling him, you don’t want to add your worry and disappointment to his shoulders.

When he cups your upturned face in his hands your heart skips a beat. His eyes are more grey, stormy though not cold, and you can’t quite read the emotion in his face. Instead of trying to make sense you cover his hands with your own and just savor the feeling of his touch.

He leans down and you hold your breath, hungry for his lips. But they only press against your forehead tenderly. Now you can read the emotion on his face as easily as the book at your side. Sadness and disappointment.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” His smile is tight, his eyes glistening. As he pulls away it takes every ounce of strength you have to not pull him to you, to not kiss him, hold him, try to calm the sea of hurt in him.

“Sleep well, Buck.” He doesn’t say anything else, just lays down with his back to you.

You flip the light off, no longer in the mood to read, and lay down too. For a few minutes, you watch the steady rise and fall of his breathing, your mind working over everything. 

He had been distant since his flashback. Every touch extra gentle, almost every action thought out. Then, despite all the kindness he’d shown you, he seemed shocked you accepted the key to his place. It’s as if he’s just waiting for you to run screaming… You realize that’s exactly what he’s waiting for.

“Bucky,” your voice is soft, not wanting to startle or wake him if he is asleep.

“Hmm?” Drowsy but still conscious.

“I want you to know, I meant it before. I’m not afraid of you...” Silence thunders in the space. You know he heard you…

“I know,” his tone is measured. Relief floods your system for a second before he follows with, “I’m scared enough for the both of us.”

@bluegirlusa1 @l0kisbitch @tazzi-baby @disagreetoagree @woodyandbuzz20-01 @mooniightbucky @souless-and-sarcastic @saundrasays  @breezy1415 @alyssaj23 @mywinterwolf  @wonderlandmind4 @fairislesheets  @anamcg317 @buckaroo-barnes @jazztherebel @peachthatdrinkslemonade @regulusirius  @auskitty @babyimp1967 @katecolleen @handplucked @piensa-bonito @darkdragonphoenix @issanitydead  @thestorydetective @buckysstar @wintersoldierswhore @greyeyedsmile14 @watchoutforfrostbite @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @meg-asaur @jewelofwinter @siriuslycloudy2

[howlnikiforov]

Black Swan

Chapter Thirteen: Myself

Pairing: Hyungwon x Reader

Word Count: 2619

Summary:  Sequel to Trespass; Sometimes, some people can’t handle the idea of another’s happiness. Sometimes those people are those who were once close to you

“He did what?” your dad roared, causing you to jump.

“But I thought you two were soulmates?” your mother questioned, bewildered, “soulmates don’t cheat on each other.”

“Where is he?” your father demanded, “where can I find him? It’s about time I beat him to a pulp.”

You ignored their comments, trying to calm your crying. You really hated the thought of your bond with Hyungwon breaking. You felt like you might throw up. Hyungwon felt the same way. He felt horrible about you having to do this, and he desperately missed you.

“Y/n,” your father spoke in a demanding tone, “where is he?”

“I-I don’t know,” you lied, “he left before I did. There’s a billion places he could be.”

“Dammit. That’s not helpful.” he said angrily.

“Pay no mind to him. Let’s just get you to bed, okay? We can talk more in the morning.” your mom said, taking you by the shoulders and leading you up to what was once your room.

Your mom gave you one of her nightgowns since you had no clothes, and tucked you into bed as though you were a four year old again. She kissed your forehead and patted your head, being the loving mother she had always been. She wished you a goodnight and turned off the light, shutting the door as she left. Briefly you heard your mom scold your dad for trying to go into your room.

You sighed and got up, going over to your jeans and and grabbing your phone. You laid back in bed, unlocking the device and texting hyungwon.

(11:04pm) “I’m in”

(11:04pm) “How are you? Did your dad give you a hard time?” Hyungwon responded seconds later.

(11:04pm) “I’m as okay as I can be”

“He didn’t react well at all. Stay away from all CCTV. He’ll probably start a manhunt for you now” you texted.

(11:05pm) “What did you tell him?”

(11:05pm) “That you cheated on me and our bond broke”

(11:06pm) “You want me to get murdered”

(11:06pm) “You have no proof of that”

(11:07pm) “Damn. How’d you know?”

(11:07pm) “I know because I know you, Dork”

(11:08pm) “I love you”

“A lot”

(11:08pm) “I know”

“I love you too”

(11:09pm) “It’s lonely without you”

(11:10pm) “You have the boys to keep you company”

(11:10pm) “I am not cuddling Wonho”

(11:10pm) “I never said you had to” (11:10pm) “Okay let me clarify”

“The bed is lonely without you”

(11:11pm) “Oh”

“It’s 11:11. Make a wish”

(11:11pm) “I wish for you to come back”

(11:11pm) “I’ll be back” “I promise”

(11:12pm) “I know you will”

(11:12pm) “It’s going to be hard to sleep tonight”

(11:13pm) “Why?”

(11:14pm) “Because I’m not used to being away from you like this”

(11:14pm) “I’ll be with you the entire time”

(11:15pm) “I know you will”

(11:15pm) “Sweetheart”

“Try to make it out of there before tomorrow night”

(11:15pm) “Why?

(11:16pm) “They’ve forecasted a winter storm to come in at around nine”

(11:16pm) “It’s just snow...right?”

(11:17pm) “Snow and high winds. It’s possible to get sleet in some areas they say. Power companies are preparing for power outages”

(11:18pm) “High winds?”

(11:18pm) “Yeah”

“Be careful Darling”

(11:19pm) “I don’t feel so good”

(11:19pm) “Try to sleep”

(11:19pm) “I don’t want to”

(11:20pm) “Sleep.”

(11:20pm) “Must I?”

(11:20pm) “Yes. Now go to sleep”

“I love you”

(11:21pm) “I love you too”

Sleeping was the last thing on your mind. The first thing was not throwing up. You had cried far too hard, and all your thoughts about your bond breaking made you sick. It was far too omnipotent to be broken. The only thing your bond could do at this point was grow. Hyungwon tried his best to send comfort to you, but it didn’t help as much as you’d have liked.

Truthfully, you were terrified about not being able to finish this by tomorrow. Snow didn’t bother you a whole lot as long as it wasn’t a white out, but wind on the other hand...wind terrified you as much as the rain. At least Hyungwon was sane enough to check the weather. You regretted not checking before you came over. It definitely would’ve been better to stay at home and wait for the storm to pass.

You tossed and turned all night, barely getting an ounce of peaceful slumber. Each time you entered your REM stage, you were gifted with a nightmare and promptly woke up. The nightmares continuously got worse and worse until you just gave up, fearing that they’d get so bad you’d start screaming.

Sometime around seven in the morning, someone knocked on the door then opened it three seconds later. In popped your mom’s head, “Breakfast is ready if you wanna come down.”

All you said in reply was “Okay.”

“How’re you feeling?” she asked, coming into your room a little more.

“I don’t know.” you tried to sound uninterested, like you didn’t want to talk about it.

“Come down and eat, it’ll help.” “Okay.”

You watched as she left, bringing forth the energy to get out of bed. You really did not feel like eating, but you knew Hyungwon would scold you for not doing so. You could hear his harsh words already. He’d say things like, “Why didn’t you eat?” “You need nutrients in your body and you can only get them by eating.” You tried to reassure yourself and the Hyungwon in your head that you would eat, and you’d be able to keep the food in your stomach.

You took off the nightgown and put on the clothes you were wearing yesterday. Taking a deep breath, you prepared yourself for what you’d have to face the entire day.

Slowly making your way down stairs, you began to regret coming down to eat breakfast. You could hear Daniel talking with your dad about last night. You should’ve known Daniel would be there. This day was going to be harder than you thought.

“Yeah. Really she should’ve seen it coming. When I saw them at the club H.One couldn’t take his eyes off any girl that walked by.” Daniel told your father.

Your blood began to boil because you knew for a fact Hyungwon never did that. Ever. He was making random shit up.

“I never saw him do that.” you said, interrupting their conversation.

“That’s because you were too blind from your obsession with him. Outsiders could see it as plain as the nose on your face.” Daniel replied with a wave of his hand.

“Your nose is broken.” you pointed out, sitting in a chair as far away from him as you could.

“Yeah. No thanks to a certain someone.” he said frustrated.

“It’s not my fault.” you shrugged, looking down at the plate your mom put in front of you.

Your heart clenched at the sight of the food. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, toast, orange juice, all of this you often ate with the boys. For all you knew, they’d be eating that for breakfast today too. It made you all the more homesick for the people you really considered family.

“No, I never said it was you.” Daniel interrupted your thoughts.

You ignored him, not quite caring what he was saying to you. Instead of drinking orange juice, you got up and got yourself a bottle of water. As much as you appreciated your mother’s efforts, you weren’t sure how much you could eat. The orange juice would certainly trigger your acid reflux, and looking at the plate of food, you should probably stay away from the bacon too.

You really weren’t expecting this to be so difficult. This was supposed to be a mere acting job. Yet, you felt ready to throw up at any given second, and seeing Daniel made you uncomfortable. If this kept up, there was no way you’d be able to finish this today, and that meant you’d have to suffer the night alone.

You desperately wanted to talk to Hyungwon. You wanted him to reassure you and comfort you. You wanted to talk about random things and get lost in your own world like you so often do. You longed to be able to have your phone in hands and text him, or call him, but you couldn’t let on that you had a phone.

“Y/n,” your dad said, snapping you out of your internal misery, “do you have your phone? I’d like to use it to track H.One.”

You shook your head, “No, I was too much in a rush to even think about grabbing my phone. Good thing too, because he won’t be able to contact me.”

“Damn it.” he cursed, causing a jolt of fear to spike through you.

“Do you have anything we can use?” Daniel asked.

“The only thing I have is the clothes on my back.” you replied.

“But you also know where he lives.” your dad pointed out.

“Do you really think he’s stupid enough to go back there?” you raised your eyebrows.

“He’s not the smartest person on earth.” Daniel chuckled.

You wanted to throw your fork in his eye, or possibly stab your chopsticks in his hand, maybe even use a spoon to scoop out his insides. You could if you really wanted to, but you held yourself back. They were looking down on your husband, completely underestimating his skill. You could play that to your advantage.

It was like they totally forgot his was a mafia boss, the most respectable one at that. You were sure Daniel didn’t know, but your father definitely did. He’s been tracking him for the longest time. You found it quite amusing how he’s never once caught him. Save for that one time they bumped into each other as Hyungwon searched for you. Honestly, that showed who the better person was.

“I’ll start a manhunt for him the day after tomorrow.” your dad announced, preventing you from being able to swallow the pancake in your mouth.

“Why not start it now?” Daniel questioned, seemingly enthusiastic about Hyungwon being hunted down.

“Because there’s a storm coming in, and everyone’s off for today.” your dad replied.

You forced yourself to swallow the pancake, gulping your water to help it go down. “How many times have you tried to hunt him down with a manhunt?” you asked.

“I don’t know. Does it matter?” your dad answered.

“Yeah, because clearly it hasn’t worked in the past, so what makes you think it’ll work now?” you did your best to sound strong.

“Why? Do you have a better idea?” Daniel laughed.

“No. I don’t.” you admitted (though you could definitely name a few ways to find him).

“He’s vulnerable now. No matter what a lost bond will hurt, even if it’s hardly there.” your dad commented.

You definitely weren’t going to be able to finish eating after that comment. He completely undermined your relationship, undermined your bond. You felt ready to fight, ready to throw up everything you just put into your system, ready to cry. You closed your eyes and breathed in deeply to try and calm down.

Suddenly you were hit with waves of concern, love, and comfort. Hyungwon was doing his best to care for you despite the distance between you. His love helped to calm you and brought you back to a steady mind. The fact that he was even awake so early showed how much he cared.

“I have to run a few errands today. I’m not sure when I’ll be back. I’ll probably be late though.” your dad announced.

“Okay. Text me and let me know when you’re coming home so I can have food for you.” your mom told him.

“I’ll stay here and watch over the girls.” Daniel proclaimed.

“We don’t need to be watched over,” you frowned, “hell, I think we can take care of ourselves better than you can take care of your own self.”

“Y/n,” your dad admonished, “that is no way to talk to your future soulmate.”

“My future soulmate?” you stared at him, “I don’t need another soulmate.”

“You say that now, but it’s only the heartbreak.” you rolled your eyes at Daniel’s comment.

“I’m gonna get going.” your dad stood and took care of his dishes. He left the house without saying another word.

You helped your mom with the dishes, apologizing for not eating so much. She understood why, knowing you needed time to get over things. The two of you ended up making beaded ornaments together all day while Daniel just sat and watched TV. You did your best to ignore him, not wanting to talk to him at all.

By the time 8pm rolled around, your dad still wasn’t home, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to finish your mission in time. Which sucked because that meant you wouldn’t be home for the storm. Maybe your dad was doing this to you on purpose. He had to be. He had to know that you were waiting for him, and that’s why he’s not back.

“I’m gonna go to bed.” You announced, putting down the half finished ornament in your hands.

“It’s only 8,” Daniel complained, “it’s too early to go to bed.”

“It’s the perfect time to go to bed.” you argued, standing and checking for any fallen beads.

“Please don’t come and check on me. I really do not want to be bothered tonight.” you said, looking between your mom and Daniel.

“Alright, try to get some sleep.” your mom smiled at you, watching you leave to go upstairs.

It was a relief to be away from them, Daniel especially. You knew your mom would keep Daniel away, your dad too when he got home, especially since she knew you didn’t do well with storms. Being bothered was the last thing you needed.

You took out your phone from under the mattress before crawling into bed.

(8:12pm) “My dad has been out all day. I won’t be able to come home tonight” you texted Hyungwon.

(8:12pm) “Dammit”

“Are you okay?”

(8:13pm) “I will be if I’m able to fall asleep before the storm hits”

(8:13pm) “Then go to sleep my love”

(8:14pm) “I’m trying”

“It’s just hard”

(8:14pm) “I know”

“But you can do it”

“You’ll get through this”

“I promise”

(8:16pm) “I hope so”

“I’m gonna try to sleep”

“Goodnight”

“I love you”

(8:17pm) “I love you too sweetheart”

You smiled and hid your phone in your pillowcase this time. You bundled the blankets around yourself and closed your eyes, thinking of all the times you and Hyungwon spent out in the snow. You really did love the snow, but hated the wind. The wind reminded you too much of thunderstorms, and when you were kidnapped. Since you were in your parents’ house, you had to deal with outdated windows, which meant you’d hear its screeches if you didn’t fall asleep soon.

You were on the brink of sleep when something started pounding on the window. It terrified you, thinking someone or something was there for you. You felt Hyungwon’s calmness wash over you as the pounding became softer, less urgent and more gentle. This prompted you to sit up and look out the window. You felt like your eyes were about to pop out as you realized what was causing that pounding sound. Hyungwon was right there, gesturing for you to quickly open the window.

[insomniac-dot-ink]

The Grim (part I)

genre: wlw, light horror, original story

words: 2.5k

summary: an insomniac accidentally picks up a stray dog that may or may not be a powerful spirit of the dead. She bonds with her new found companion up until his previous owner starts haunting her to get him back

A story of being sleepless, dead, and somewhere in-between

PART I ~ PART II ~ PART III

Ko-Fi ⭐Patreon ⭐ WordPress

PART I

Charlie didn’t really sleep anymore.

Sleep came with too tall a price tag with not enough pocket change to even cover the rental fee. Her brother often joked: ‘you can sleep when you’re dead,’ but after a couple days on your feet it already pretty much feels like you were.

The back of her eyes ache, her teeth feel numb, the world was a picture of slow molasses, dribbling by in snatches of motion as she tried to make sense of any of it. It was a grey night. Not dark grey, light grey, the type of grey that paraded itself around as daytime and hovers so close to the ground you can taste it.

It was chilly, a light drizzle obscured the street lamps and sidewalks, making them gleam with a murky reflections of blurry oranges and yellows. It reminded Charlie of impressionist paintings but perhaps that was the dizziness talking.

She walked nowhere and everywhere at once, like trying to catch a bus you were never going to make.

The soft drizzle coats her skin and it feels like it’s much later than 10pm, but by the third day of insomnia it’s always 4am. 4am buzz, 4am thumping silence, 4am fluorescents of a all night convenience store flashing in the back of your mind’s eye.

Charlie was bumbling along the side of the road, trying to catch that bus she was never going to make. She pauses only once, on the outskirts of Florence Street and the edge of a wide green park with thick oak trees and dewey wild grass.

She pauses outside a slim alleyway tucked away like a secret between two sturdy looking apartment buildings. They’re old buildings with rusting fire escapes and big green dumpsters off to the side, red brick walls and clouded yellow windows. Charlie cocks her head to the side as she sees a large lump of something standing in front of a green dumpster.

She probably wouldn’t have stopped to inspect it if it didn’t appear to be oozing smoke in every direction. A thick billowing smoke that seemed to melt into the darkness around it.

She furrows her brow, maybe she is really finally losing it. She blinks her blurry eyes and listens to the snuffling of a very large nose in a pile of garbage. She would call the thing more of a ‘lump’ or suggestion of a creature rather than a full blown thought.

Noah apparently hadn’t been paying attention when his two of every animal crossbreed with a dark cloud along the way it seemed.

A lump wafting a small cloak of smoke above it, Charlie sniffs the air but it continues to smell like damp New England air and her own unwashed hoodie. The creature roots through the discarded banana peels and egg shells.

“You shouldn’t be eating that,” she mumbles as she sees the smoking thing upend a tin can. It bites down on something that couldn’t be fresh.

“Hey now!” She calls out and her skin prickles. It keeps eating the rotten food and she watches in awe as something must be a long black tail starts to wag.

She rubs her eyes furiously for a moment, digging the heels of her hands into her eye sockets and inhaling deeply. Charlie shakes her head as if she was trying to dislodge a thought and looks back up, her mouth falls open when she looks up the smoke is gone.

Maybe she really was losing it.

A large black dog seemed to have taken the place of the cloud, it’s head still down but outline very real now.

Charlie takes a few cautious footsteps into the alleyway and puts her hand out, this had to be some of health hazard for the dog and the neighborhood.

“Hey… Boy?” She asks questioningly and reaches her fingers out, eyes searching for a collar on it’s thick neck. The dog-thing pauses, it’s shoulders tensing and ears perking up, two black licorice shiny eyes turn like inverse headlights in her direction.

The eyes have no whites to them.

“Ah!” Charlie yelps and steps backwards. “What the hell…” It’s large head swings in her direction and she has a full view of it’s rippling dark body that seemed to take up the entire space. Charlie takes another step back and her eyes go wide.

“Woah there,” she whispers it, her words getting stuck in her throat as she is caught in the gaze of two perfectly black eyes. She takes a deep breath and rights herself, “You shouldn’t… eat that?” She offers weakly and squints at it.

She blinks a couple more times and rubs at her face, trying to dislodge the crazy from her sleepy consciousness. When she looks back up a large black dog is still standing in front of her, but all traces of smoke are gone and she can see the whites of its eyes.

She raises her eyebrows as she makes out a collar around its neck after all. “Oh,” she says softly, “are you lost boy?” The dog is still regarding her, stance wide and head tilted, it wasn’t his fault that Charlie was having delusions, she takes another step toward him.

“Can I,” she hesitates, “can I check your collar?” Charlie had raised enough dogs to know how much it sucked to lose yours.

The animal seems to tense as she takes a step toward it, the rain had picked up and plastered its hair down.

“I’m not going to do anything,” she reassures, using her best ‘calm’ voice that didn’t terrify babies.

The dog is still considering her, as if she is a very old high school friend come to bother it in the grocery store. The dog looks at Charlie’s hand as she lets it crawl toward it, “No worries,” she says again, “I’m just gonna check.” To her surprise the dog takes a step toward her and they both pause for a very long moment like they didn’t know what that meant, the dog takes another step forward. Charlie doesn’t make any sudden movements and bends slowly at the knee.

“Hello,” Charlie finally greets, “do you mind?” She touches the black collar lightly and nods down at the dog. It just stares back at her with bright black eyes, it’s long sweeping tail starts to wag back and forth.

She smiles, “you’re just a little hungry, aren’t?” She takes the collar in hand, it obviously wasn’t frightened of her.

“My name is Charlie Ziegler,” she says quietly and turns the collar over. “I don’t suppose you have a chip, do you?” She feels around the smooth collar and her mood drops when she can’t find a tag and instead mostly damp fur that made her hand smell funny. She sighs and retreats.

“Right,” she dusts herself off, “I should…” She glances back to it, “call someone for you.” The dog is still looking back at her expectantly, Charlie can only hunch over slightly, “Someone is missing you a whole bunch I bet.” She turns around and takes a few halting steps away, a frown growing on her face.

Charlie turns around again, “But it is raining.” She murmurs back to herself, “and you must be awfully hungry.”

She looks the huge creature up and down, biting down on her bottom lip. “No, no, you have a home. The shelter can help- nice dog catchers, not the nasty ones, promise.”

She feels a little silly promising it things as it just stares blankly back at her. She turns to walk to the end of the alley and go find a phone that wasn’t dead, she stops as she hears the pattering of soft steps behind her. She looked over her shoulder, the dog sniffs at the back of her hand and she can’t help but smile to herself.

It seemed rather bashful for such a huge thing.

She bites her bottom lip harder, her resistance fading, “But it is raining!”

A huge smile starts to grow over her face.

“And you are a good dog, aren’t you? You won’t eat my shoes or anything,” she takes it’s collar loosely and starts guiding it up the street and back up toward her apartment. Her drowsiness temporarily not filling every single one of her being like a deadweight.

The dog is lumbering forward but light on its feet, it seems to glance at her every few steps, as if checking on her or trying to guess a tough quiz question. There was something almost sweet about it.

Charlie laughs, she was suddenly fine with this dog eating her shoes. She ruffles his soft ears, “let’s get you somewhere dry.” They climb the stairs quickly and sneak into her second story apartment, her neighbors were still awake so that was a good sign. It wasn’t too late yet.

“One sec!” She promises him as she runs to her linen closet and grabs a handful of towels.

The dog stays perfectly still as she pats him down and ruins at least two of her towels, “Henry?” Charlie offers weakly, “No, no, too human.” “Licorice? No, too silly,” She puts out a dish of water and starts boiling some chicken she had, “Ken? No, that’s a Barbie, damn.” She considers the dog for a long second, then she snaps her fingers as she sees him pushing on her leg with his large wet nose.

“You’re so big!” She laughs again as she fills his dish up in her biggest bowl, “Juno,” she smiles down at him, “Do you like Juno?” The dog digs into the chicken with a ravenous hunger, making wet noises as he quickly scarfs the bits down. “Careful!” She pats his head and ruffles his ears, “Juno, boy, I’ll get you more tomorrow too.” Juno doesn’t stop and laps up the entire water dish next.

Charlie manages to slip into her more comfortable sweatpants and prepares herself in front of the TV to marathon something and try to push back the hordes of thoughts and non-thoughts. She wasn’t bothered when Juno jumps up on the couch with her, or when he puts his big dark head on her lap, looking more like a small horse than anything else at that moment.

“You’re so friendly,” she can’t help but feel she might put off making that phone call to the shelter for just a little longer.

And then she closes her eyes, sleep catching up to her out of left field like a sucker punch to the gut. She barely knew it was happening, she sleeps for 12 hours.

------------------------

Charlie wasn’t sure what to make of her new dog, she knew he was hungry, and she knew that he had the manners of an old gentleman of the 1800s. Someone had obviously trained him well.

He waited at the door for her, he asked to go out right on the hour, he went to the dog park and trotted after her like a scout trailing a commander. He isn’t very interested in other dogs.

Just food. And her.

Charlier can’t say she’s complaining, it had been a long long time since she went into work well-rested, but there was a first for everything. He slept in her bed and miraculously she slept too.

It might have been a perfect match, but everything comes with a price tag.

It was 8pm on a Wednesday, Charlie was propped up next to her couch, head lolling down as she fought off a deep need for her nap. Her unfinished article lay open in front of her and she is tempted to just close the whole thing and walk away.

She’s thinking about dinner for her and Juno, and then a sudden ice pulses through her veins, Charlie sits up completely straight and eyes go wide. She glances at her thermos stat, it had just dropped ten degrees.

Charlie scowls, “what the hell.” She reaches for a blanket off to the side, the lights flicker like a bad horror movie.

She looks in both directions, “Uh.”

The lights flicker again and Charlie gets on her knees, she looks over to the hall where Juno was laid out, his head was perked up now too. His dark eyes alert and ears facing forward.

Charlie crawls to her feet, “Okay…” She reaches for her phone to check in with the building manager, opening her messages to see if there was an alert for an electricity glitch. Or sudden air conditioner blast.

She hears it, hears it like you hear your mother’s voice in your dreams or listen to your friends discuss you when you know they think you’re not there. It was a slow, plodding sound.

Dripping, fat wet droplets hitting linoleum, Charlie backs up, she hears two heavy feet thumping down the apartment hall- loud enough to echo and send a shiver down her spine.

“Hello?” She tries weakly, this is definitely the part where she should run and/or start singing show tunes. No one died in horror movies singing showtunes.

The plodding, dripping sound draws closer, Charlie backs away from the front door.

“Uh,” she the cold crawls up and down her skin.

Thump, thump, thump.

A heavy knock came at the door.

Charlie puts her hands up, ���go away! We’re not home.” She says a little pathetically and glances at her fire escape. Thump thump thump

A strangled sound raises in the back of Charlie’s throat but she suppresses it, pinching herself and thinking maybe she really hadn’t been sleeping at all. And this was the end game of her sanity.

Thump thump thump

She hugs herself and tries one last time, “Ms. Thomson? Are you sleepwalking again?” Thump thump thump

“Go away!” She almost shrieks, “I already lost most my good silverware and don’t have any money, I swear.” Thump, thump, thump

Charlie edges her way toward Juno, she hisses at him, “get away from the door boy.” Juno just stays in place, ears perked up and body tensed.

Thump thump thump

“Fuck!” She tears at her hair, “stop it.” The thumping continues, “I WANT,” Charlie jumps as a sandpaper rough voice drips and oozes it’s way through the air, “THE DOG!”

Charlie dives for Juno to cover him with her body. The room feels like it’s shaking for a moment, water rushing somewhere and thumping coming at the door.

THUMP THUMP THUMP

Her doorknob rattles and it looks like the door is going to be ripped off its hinges.

“No,” she squeezes her eyes shut and hugs her huge dog to her. She waits… for something.

And then the temperature raises again just as suddenly as it had dropped, the lights turn back to a honey yellow, the room stops shaking slightly.

Charlie stays in place for several more minutes, covering Juno with her body and waiting.

Water is leaking out of her eyes when she finally sits up again, trying to still her shaking body and hug Juno closer to her. “It’s okay boy.” She says mostly for herself before wiping at her eyes, “This sort of thing happens… all the time?”

That’s when Charlie thinks maybe she should have a cigarette and a talk with her local priest or psychiatrist.

She starts with some Marlboros and getting a better lock for her door.

[genocider-syo-is-still-my-queen]

Danganronpa rarepair week day 1: Fireworks, aka Ouma and Komaeda fuck shit up.

"Oi, get back here or I’ll shove one of those up your ugly ass!" Iruma yelled, running after Ouma. He was trying to steal her wonderful handmade fireworks, you could tell because only she could be such a genius to invent something as wonderful as them. The best part - they worked when you were asleep! Well... by that she meant they would go off randomly at night time, but it still counted.

"How are you going to do that if you can’t catch me?" He sprinted around a corner and seemingly vanished, leaving Iruma wondering which way he went.

"Curse that shitty gremlin!" She yelled, shocking a certain programmer who was walking by. If those fireworks were released now, it would not end well. Of course, they would look absolutely stunning, they were invented by her after all, but they hadn’t been properly tested. She thought the best option would be to wait until nighttime, then wait and see if any of them went off automatically, like they were supposed to. Maybe this was a good thing, she wouldn’t be putting her own life in danger this way.

"Ah, you’re back. Did you manage to convince her?" Komaeda looked up as Ouma entered the storeroom behind the school, putting down his book.

"I sure did! Just asked her nicely, and she gave them right over." Ouma set down the box, and sat down next to him, exhausted.

"I’m glad to hear it. I was expecting you’d steal them." He smiled, slowly putting a hand on his partner's. He knew that this statement was bullshit, but didn’t want to mention it. If he had a dollar for every lie the boy told, his fortune would have doubled by now.

"Me stealing? No, I would never..." Ouma said, whilst sitting on the cushion he’d stolen from the rec room. "So, is everything ready?"

"Sure is!" Komaeda smiled. "The party tomorrow is sure to bring lots of hope to everyone, and these will help a lot, thank you." Komaeda picked up a firework, thinking about how wonderful it’d be.

"No problem, helping people is what I do. In fact, the members of my organisation help exactly 28,384 old ladies across the street every day!" He boasted, grinning ear to ear. "Maybe they’ll help you one day, you’re going a little grey."

Komaeda read the label. "Miu Iruma's ultimate fireworks? Ultimates! They must be full of hope... So, how do we light these? This says: 'These aren’t just any fireworks, they’re... word I do not want to say... wonderful, created by the gorgeous me! They’ll produce a censored explosion so censored censored that they’ll censored censored your censored censored with your censored, especially if you’re censored your boyfriend or girlfriend at the time.' Very helpful Miu..."

"Hey hey, you just gotta tune out the useless stuff, and  by that I mean all of it! Man, she really is an idiot to write this on them..." Ouma read, leaning on his shoulder, causing him to blush. "Hmm, try there, the part that says 'Instructions'."

"Oh, right. 'These bad boys won’t just light up when you want them too, unlike your boy. They’re completely random! Yep, between the hours of 10pm and 6am, there is a 50% chance of any one firework going off, so good luck and don’t let them explode in your faces, even if you like... censored exploding in your face.' Random eh? Say, if we put one of these in a box with a cat overnight, with no ways to check inside, would the cat be alive or dead after one night?"

"Well, if there’s no way then there’s obviously no air holes. Of course it’s fucking dead." He was a little bored, but these fireworks would make the night exciting.

"Ah, I guess you’re right... poor thing. Well, these sound crazy, but they’ll be great for tomorrow."

"Yeah... hey hey! What if..."

"Yes?"

"We put a firework in each dorm to wake everyone up? That’d really kick off the secret party with a bang!" Ouma's plan was dangerous. It was stupid. It was the best idea Komaeda had ever heard.

"Ah, that would be nice, but we can’t coordinate them to go off at the same time, or even at all... unless we rely on my luck."

"It’s a deal then, see you tomorrow. Darling." Ouma kissed him on the cheek before leaving. Komaeda smiled, and went back to his book. He was so close to the end, and had already figured out who the killer was.

That night, Iruma stayed up, watching out. However, due to bullshit luck powers, all of them stayed intact for the party. At 6am, she decided she’d skip school that day, and went back to her room to rest hanging the usual sign on the outside of her door: 'Do not disturb, has been up all night doing things I’m sure you virgins would love to hear about.' She had only been stopped from using it once, and after a while she was able to convince Ishimaru up complaining.

That evening, Komaeda and Ouma were putting their plan into action. Ouma broke into every dorm room, and quietly placed two fireworks in each one, to make sure the 50/50 chance worked. Komaeda wasn’t quite sure if he knew how probability worked, but didn’t argue. Once he was done, he returned outside to Komaeda, who smiled at him

'It’s time."

Miu Iruma woke to the sound of her door opening. Who could it be at this hour, and  what did they want to do with her? She was excited just thinking about it, but pretended to be asleep, to see what the person would do. When she heard them leave again, she sat up and looked around, her eyes falling on the two fireworks on the floor.

"Shit."

She left her room immediately and rang Kaede's door.

"Iruma? How can I help?"

Iruma help up the fireworks. "Are there any of these in your room?" She didn’t know if Ouma was only targeting her, but if he wasn’t then everyone needed to get out.

Kaede looked at it. That shape... could it be? knowing Iruma it probably was? "Uh... I don’t..." She turned around, shutting her door, when she spotted them on the floor. "Wait a second, when did these get here?"

Iruma grabbed her hand and ran to the exit, pulling the fire alarm as she left. Hopefully anyone in there would be able to escape.

Ouma saw the two leave. "Ah, here's our first guests!" He waved over to them, and watched as several other people wandered out too, all looking a mix of tired, confused and scared. "Hello there! Welcome to-"

"You little shit! Do you know what you’ve done?" Iruma grabbed him by the collar, and was about to punch him when...

The dorm building exploded in a rainbow of colours. It was undoubtedly the most beautiful fireworks display they’d ever seen, but at the same time it brought chaos and destruction.

The now large group of people watched it burn in amazement and terror, when Komaeda spoke up. "So, welcome to our fireworks party! I hope we can-"

No one cared what he was saying. "You blew up the fucking dorms! Someone could still be in there!"

"I... uh... Komaeda thought about it. The fireworks had gone Of in such a spectacular fashion, his luck was brilliant. He wouldn’t be surprised if one of his friends were dead. "I mean, maybe? But I’m sure the hope coming out of this will-" He was stopped by Ouma grabbing his hand.

"I think we should just run."

"A game of tag eh? How nostalgic and full of hope!"

So they ran for ages, being chased by a whole parade of ultimates, with more and more fireworks going off to light their way. Ouma was talking on the phone as he went, and eventually suggested they went back to the dorms. Komaeda wasn’t sure why, they wouldn’t be able to hide there, but knew Ouma would have something up his sleeve.

The two of them stood in front of the building, waiting for the parade to catch up. When they did, they saw a strange sight - the dorm building was very intact and not on fire. The two of them went to Komaeda's room to avoid questions, and snuggled up together on the bed.

"Nishishi, I think that went well."

"Yeah, it did. I’m sure everyone had so much fun running around, we need to thank Iruma for the fireworks."

"Yeah, we should."

"Oh Ouma? How is the building here? I was sure it was destroyed."

"Hmm, well my friends at Dice have been monitoring this school for months, carefully plotting out every chair and table and item, down to the last toothbrush hair. We built an exact replica, and the team just switched out the buildings whilst we were being chased!"

"Alright, then. I’ll believe that."

"Really! Wow, by now I’d have thought you’d be able to spot my lies. Nah, it was just a cool lights show, also thanks to Miu. Those fireworks I stole were complete fakes!"

"Is that so?"

"Hmm, who knows? But I’ll tell you something, our fun night together has only just begun." Ouma kissed the taller boy, and stared into his eyes. "Let’s play 2 truths one lie for a while. I doubt you’ll be able to spot them though, I’m such a good liar, aren’t I?" Komaeda agreed, and they stayed up talking all night, whilst ignoring the doorbell being rung by annoyed students (mostly Iruma).

[ocean-tumbled-pebbles]

What if Happy Internet Cafe was a Cosplay Internet Cafe?

Fanfic slightly edited from my submission for the June fanfic contest on the discord server! I now have a FFN account and AO3 pending lol. Feedback and comments welcome~

Prompt: Ye Xiu has retired from Glory and departs Excellent Era but doesn’t head to Happy Internet Cafe and become a night manager.

Summary: In which Happy is a cosplay/internet cafe, Ye Xiu is a pro player magnet, and Chen Guo is a shrewd businesswoman

Tags: All叶, allye, cosplay, crossdressing, crackfic, tw minor sexual harassment, help i dont know how chinese money works, timeline is slightly off, let’s play spot the author’s favorite anime characters

(1)

Ye Xiu leant back languidly in his chair, his arms stretching out and coming to rest behind his head. “I feel that I match all of the qualifications, and work and pay aren’t a problem. So how about it?”

Chen Guo eyed him up and down. “Stand up.”

Ye Xiu took the time to stretch out his legs before lazily getting to his feet. Chen Guo circled him like a vulture coming upon a juicy piece of meat, muttering comments to herself.

“Hmm, he’s a little bit tall, but has pretty delicate features.” She crouched down to inspect his legs. “Long legs, not too much muscle....” She circled over to look at his back side. “Hmmm...”

Suddenly Ye Xiu felt a Smack! across his buttocks.

“Um...!” Ye Xiu yelped and rubbed his abused backside.

Chen Guo covered her mouth and snickered. “Oh, you’ll do.”

“Haha..?”

“So which shift do you want?” she asked.

“Night shift is fine!” Ye Xiu figured that he’d avoid the crowds and make some extra money. He didn’t mind switching his sleep schedule and he had always been pretty good at pulling all-nighters, thinking back to his time playing Glory all night long with Su Muqiu.

“Absolutely not!”

“Oh?” Were all the night shift posts taken?

“It’d be a waste to have a good looking guy like you take the night shift! If you want a less busy time you can take either the morning or the evening shift! Pretty boys like you need their beauty sleep!” Chen Guo explained.

Ye Xiu sweatdropped. “Uhh... Okay.... I guess I’ll take the evening shift then.”

Chen Guo clapped her hands together and gestured for him to follow her. “Great! You’ll work from 4 until 10. You get a break at 7 to eat. Most customers only come to use the computers, but if they need any help or want to order food they’ll ring the service bell. We offer special service if they order from us, which is that they can request you to do something, within reason. This usually means saying a line or doing a pose, so do your best to please the customer, alright?”

“Hmm?” Ye Xiu blinked. Wait. What was that last sentence?

“We’ll start you off easy, but we’ll want to take advantage of your good genes later. We’ll let you have a trial period tonight, but you can start officially as soon as tomorrow.” She started  rummaging through a closet in the back room. She finally pulled out some folded clothing in a box that Ye Xiu assumed was the uniform. “You’re about the same height as xiao Li, so this should fit you. I’ll show you the employee locker rooms!”

In front of the locker rooms, Chen Guo shoved the clothes she was holding into his arms.

“Try it on!”

Ye Xiu looked into the box. “Uh, boss, this... is your uniform?”

“You’re chickening out now?” She smacked his back. “You signed up for this, remember? How can we be Happy Cosplay Internet Cafe, the only cosplay internet cafe in all of China, without the cosplay?!”

Ye Xiu almost choked. “Cosplay?”

Chen Guo face palmed. “Have you been paying attention to your surroundings at all? Or at least been listening to me explaining your work?”

Ye Xiu looked around. At a second glance, it turned out that all the staff were wearing costumes of some sort. He had been so focused on getting out of the cold he really hadn’t noticed it!

He’d probably give a bad impression if he admitted he hadn’t been listening to his new boss though, so he coughed and said, “I’ll go change now.”

If he came out with a slight flush in his cheeks, it was a small matter. Well, maybe not, since Chen Guo had squealed and promptly whipped out her camera and begun snapping pictures of him to post on her Weibo. She gave him a big grin and a thumbs up.

“We’ll give you proper training with wigs and make up later. Can’t wait to have you crossdress~!”

A look of horror passes over Ye Xiu’s face. Just what did he sign up for?

(2) Su Mucheng

Dancing Rain: Big bro, you doing alright?

Lord Grim: dw, I got a job!

Dancing Rain: lol who would hire you. Your only skill is gaming

Dancing Rain: you should go back to my place! I’ll provide for you, and you can be my housewife!

Lord Grim: ...

Lord Grim: that was mean.

Dancing Rain: where did you get a job?

Lord Grim: Happy Internet Cafe!

Dancing Rain: you mean that cosplay cafe across the street?

Lord Grim: ...

Dancing Rain: omg are you in cosplay rn???

Lord Grim: ...

Dancing Rain: im coming over

Lord Grim: dont.

Lord Grim: mucheng im warning you

Lord Grim: It’s an internet cafe. What if you get mobbed?

Dancing Rain: dw im good at disguises!

It turned out that Mucheng’s “disguise” consisted of a pair of glasses, a hat, and a face mask. Yup, real subtle Mucheng. Everyone was thinking that, but no one dared approach. Why would Su Mucheng even go to an internet cafe across the street from Excellent Era after all? When Chen Guo took her id card, she nearly started screaming, but was quieted by a wink and shushing finger sign. Through the power of fangirling and selfies, Mucheng was able to obtain the whole second floor to herself, as well as Ye Xiu as her personal server. He was currently dressed in a simple school blazer with a blood red wig. Mucheng was snapping pics of him left and right.

Ye Xiu sweatdropped. “You better not post these.”

“I know,” she said plainly. “These are for my personal enjoyment. Besides, I’m supposed to get a ‘special service’ with my ice cream. So keep still while I take more photos.”

Later Chen Guo dreamily asked him, “Hey, do you think Su Mucheng will come again? Should I build a private room for her? I should build a private room for her.”

Ye Xiu sweatdropped again. Hey, don’t ask me if you’ve already decided.

(3) Huang Shaotian

Tang Rou thought that Huang Shaotian was a creep when he showed up outside around 10pm and covered in scarves, so she went to go get Chen Guo.

“Old Ye!” He whisper yelled, tiptoeing through the door. “Where the hell are you?”

Ye Xiu poked him in the back and the blond puppy jumped five feet in the air. “I’m right here.”

“Shit! You’re Old Ye?!” Huang Shaotian spluttered disbelievingly. To be fair, Ye Xiu was crossdressing, but you’d think that Huang Shaotian would have noticed him.

The short flouncy skirt of the black and white school uniform dress along with the mismatching colorful socks showed off his mile long legs wonderfully, and the orange wig with green highlights had pigtails that framed his handsome face. He was taller than a real girl, with slightly sharper angles, but all in all, he looked really good crossdressing.

“How could you? After all these years of friendship, you’ve forgotten me so soon?” Ye Xiu said in mock sadness.

“Nononono! That’s not it at all! I haven’t forgotten you though maybe I should seeing as you’re an old man dressing up as a girl that is not that you’re some creep or anything but just that you’ve retired and such but I promise I haven’t forgotten you after all you’re probably my best friend after Captain and all of the Blue Rain players and - Hey! Why are you leaving?!”

Ye Xiu turned in the general direction of the word explosion and shrugged. “It’s the end of my shift. I’m going to change.” And he sauntered off toward the back room to change into more comfortable clothes.

Shaotian sneakily grabbed his phone to snag a picture. He grinned down at the photo evidence of the battle god crossdressing.

“There he is, that’s the creep!” Tang Rou had come back with Chen Guo in tow.

“F-shit! I’m not a creep! That Old Ye invited me!”

Chen Guo and Tang Rou looked at each other.  A stalker?

“I’m going to have to see your ID.”

Some selfies and monetary transactions later, Huang Shaotian and Ye Xiu were in the private room running through the plan on the boneyard record.

“Hey Old Ye, it says that if I order some food, I can get special service. I’m going to make you PK with me!”

“Not happening.” Ye Xiu refused plainly.

“Why not?! PKPKPK!”

“Because it’s not my shift.” Ye Xiu wasn’t obligated to do anything for anyone right now. He was also tired after a long day taking requests from customers and didn’t want to deal with Shaotian’s shit right now. The boss had also given him a strict bedtime of 1am at the latest and he wanted to get in all of his dungeon runs before then.

“...”

Ye Xiu suddenly felt a chill down his back. Shaotian being silent? Never a good thing.

The next day at 4 pm.

“OLD YE!” A blond fluffball came flying at Ye Xiu. Ye Xiu tumbled to the ground under the unexpected tackle.

“Oh god.”

“PKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPK!”

Six hours later...

“Boss, please kick him out.” Ye Xiu was disheveled and exhausted, pale and looking like he was about to collapse.

Chen Guo paused from counting the money Huang Shaotian had spent on reserving the private room and repeatedly ordering food with service for 6 hours. “....Hmm? What did you say?”

(3.5) All Star Weekend

“Ye Xiu! You’re really Ye Qiu?”

“...Yes.”

“Dammit! We should have charged Huang Shaotian more!”

“...”

(4) Ye Qiu

For the Lunar New Year, it turned out that Ye Qiu had found out he had retired from Excellent Era and was now working at Happy.

“Brother,” he tutted, “Come home for New Years. Do you even have a place to stay?”

“I’m going to work over time!” He just wanted to avoid going home over the holiday and play Glory all day.

“Fine, then I’m going to stay too.”

“Go home little brother. Unless... the boss has been wanting to do twin cosplays...”

“Happy New Year, I have to go attend to mother and little dot! Let me know when you’re coming back already! Bye!” In a flash, Ye Qiu was out the door.

Chen Guo came out of the back room holding a box of costumes. “Why did he leave? I had the cutest matching cosplays for you two!”

(5) Yu Wenzhou

“Captain Yu! What are you doing here?” Ye Xiu was so surprised to see Yu Wenzhou turn up one day that his half and half red and white wig almost fell off.

Yu Wenzhou was disguised in naught but a pair of dark sunglasses. Since Huang Shaotian had turned up the other time, more and more Blue Rain fans had been coming to Happy to see if they could catch a glimpse of their idol. Seeing the captain himself, of course some Yu Wenzhou fans crowded around to see if they could get an autograph. But as they approached, suddenly an ice cold aura appeared, and the fans decided it would probably be a good idea to back off.

“Hello Senior.” The blue-haired captain greeted amiably. “I came to see you in your new place of work.”

A slender hand came up to readjust his wig. “... I meant, how did you find me here?”

Yu Wenzhou smiled and merely handed him a thick wad of cash. “Let’s discuss this in the private room, shall we?”

So Ye Xiu led him up the stairs and Yu Wenzhou explained over coffee and biscuits. “Several weeks ago, Shaotian disappeared after the match with Excellent Era, and later claimed that he wanted to stay in Hangzhou for an extra day to visit family. He has no family in Hangzhou, so of course he must’ve been visiting someone other than family. He clearly lied about it, and as such it couldn’t have been anyone he would publically visit.”

He took another sip of his coffee. “The night he disappeared also happened to be the day the boneyard record was broken by Lord Grim and a swordsman Flowing Tree. Lord Grim is infamous in the tenth server with his technical skill, and he started in the tenth server around the time when you retired. Of course, I had a sneaking suspicion it was you, but Shaotian’s disappearance confirmed it. When he returned after his one day visit to ‘family’ he was in a surprisingly good mood and kept snickering at his phone. Naturally, I confisticated it and searched through the contents. Did you know he had this picture of you on it?”

He held up his phone and Ye Xiu saw that there was a picture of him crossdressing, shot from the back as he walked away to change clothes. It was slightly blurry, as it was dark, and Ye Xiu was surprised (but not that surprised) to know that Yu Wenzhou could recognize him even though the view was from the back and he had been in costume.

“That little brat!” Ye Xiu exclaimed. “Who would take advantage of such a good-looking guy like me, taking pictures of me on the sly?”

Yu Wenzhou put the picture away, ignoring the self-proclaimed ‘good-looking’ god. Ye Xiu noted that he didn’t delete the picture though. Wenzhou continued with his explanation. “When I saw this, I knew immediately that Shaotian had not gone to visit family but had rather gone to visit you at your workplace. A quick search of cosplay cafe and Hangzhou turned up this place. Did you know that this is the only cosplay internet cafe in China?”

“...Your deductive work is too scary Captain Yu.” Ye Xiu sighed. “So what did you hope to gain by coming here?”

Yu Wenzhou gave a little smile. “I was hoping to perhaps chat about some tactics and maybe play a match or two.”

Ye Xiu cracked his knuckles and began stretching out his arms in preparation. “It’ll be 100 yuan for each match, and you’ll need to buy food for any other requests.”

Yu Wenzhou tilted his head. “Hmm?”

“Boss’s rules.”

“Ah.”

(6) Zhang Xinjie and Han Wenqing

When Han Wenqing and Zhang Xinjie came to Happy Cosplay Internet Cafe one evening, they didn’t even bother disguising themselves despite being in the midst of Excellent Era territory, in fact, literally across the street from their so-called rivals.

A whisper chorus of boos echoed up from the computers. The quiet protest was quickly vanquished with the signature Han Wenqing GlareTM, resulting in the offenders groveling on the floor, offering their wallets as penitence.

All the commotion brought Chen Guo over. She reflexively wanted to jump back when he turned his gaze to her, but she held her ground and offered, “What can Happy Cosplay Internet Cafe do for you today, God Han, God Zhang?”

“Where’s Ye Qiu?”

Zhang Xinjie smoothed out the conversation. “We would like to rent out the private room and talk with Senior Ye if possible.”

“It’s 200 yuan per match and you need to order food for any other requests. The private room has a lock. Ye Xiu can let you in.”

Han Wenqing picked up a wallet off the floor, and dropped it on the counter, much to the dismay of one unfortunate booer.

“Yo Old Han.” Today Ye Xiu was dressed in a cute sailor themed idol costume with a long dark colored wig. He gave a mock salute. “Never thought I’d see the two of you here in a cosplay cafe in Excellent Era territory no less.”

“Never thought I’d see you here crossplaying at an internet cafe across the street from Excellent Era after having retired no less,” the older player spat back.

“Let’s go upstairs and fight in the arena instead of in the lobby, Captain, Senior.”

Ye Xiu laughed and led the two of them to the stairs. “You first.”

Zhang Xinjie, feeling that it was out of character for Ye Xiu to be polite asked, “Why don’t you go first, senior?”

“Gasp, Xiao Zhang! How perverted! You want to peek under my skirt as I go up the stairs, don’t you?”

Xinjie turned all shades of red and blurted, “That wasn’t it at all!”

Han Wenqing was not amused. “If we wanted a peek we would just lift it up. Now show me that unspecialized character of yours.” He began pushing Ye Xiu up the stairs.

“Ooh how brazen, Old Han.”

(7) Tiny Herb

Business at Happy was booming. Not only was Chen Guo obtaining more business from users hoping to see their favorite pro player, but she was able to charge the visiting pro players exorbitant amounts and they would gladly pay to play with Ye Xiu. Using the extra money, Chen Guo was able to upgrade the private room upstairs to include a full row of new computers and a comfy couch and coffee table.

The upgrades were a good investment. How else would the entire Tiny Herb pro team be able to fit comfortably into the room?

“Order whatever food you want. The club will pay for it. Don’t forget to think of your requests. You can ask him to do anything reasonable, so make sure you learn from this opportunity.”

“Yes Captain!”

Ye Xiu sighed. Today he was wearing a black and white sailor style girl’s school uniform, along with a short brown wig and white cap. He also had a staff and a stuffed animal to complete the cosplay, but they were too annoying to carry around while playing. “I left Excellent Era so that I didn’t have to be a training partner...” he muttered under his breath.

“What was that senior?” Wang Jiexi blinked his uneven eyes.

“Nothing, nothing. Just a reminder that it’s 300 yuan per person per match and that I require a break between matches. Oh, I know. While you’re waiting for me, you can fight Xiao Tang. I’m coaching her!” He gave a big thumbs up.

The whole ordeal was like one huge party with food and fun and Glory. Tang Rou despite getting utterly smashed bravely continued to fight, earning the respect of Tiny Herb. Ye Xiu then proceeded to crush them all in return. It was a bit depressing to think that all of them combined had still been trounced by a single guy dressed like an elementary school girl.

“Thank you Senior Ye!” exclaimed one Gao Yingjie on the way out.

“Yes. Thank you for your guidance Senior Ye. I hope to be like you someday.” echoed Qiao Yifan.

Ye Xiu patted both on the head. It was nice to see rookies with such enthusiasm. “You two have a lot to learn, but you also have a lot of potential. Keep working hard. And Yifan, why don’t you think about what I said?”

‘Why don’t you try out a Ghostblade! It would suit you!’ Yifan kept thinking of this phrase over and over again walking out of the internet cafe, such that he almost bumped into Chen Guo.

“Woah! Careful there.” She steadied him on his feet. “You know, you’re pretty cute.” Chen Guo handed Yifan a business card. “If you ever need a job or even a side job, you should contact me! I have some cute cosplays that would be perfect for you!”

Yifan almost choked. When he said he wanted to be like Senior Ye, he didn’t mean it that way!

(8) Jiang Botao

“So what brings you here by yourself?”

“Senior Ye! Please grant me a request!” Jiang Botao bowed deeply at a 90 degree angle.

“No need to be so formal,” Ye Xiu laughed. “As long as you buy something from here, I’ll be willing to hear you out.”

Jiang Botao ordered a What a Big One ice cream cone. “Sooo...” he started nervously, “ummm.... Please... Allow me to record a message from you to captain!”

“Oh? To Xiao Zhou? What would you like me to say?”

“Please say, ‘Zhou Zekai, Jiayou!’ a-and then umm, please blow a kiss!”

“Hoho? Well, alright get your camera ready!”

Jiang Botao aimed the camera at him portrait-wise, making sure to capture the full picture of Ye Xiu in a purple accented swimsuit and blue and white jacket covering his shirtless torso. He didn’t need a wig this time, but settled for some styling with gel to achieve the character’s likeness.

Ye Xiu grinned, not caring that it was out of character for the cosplay. “Xiao Zhou, Jiayou! Keep working hard!” He winked saucily and blew a kiss.

Jiang Botao was so grateful he kept thanking Ye Xiu over and over again and insisted on giving him extra cash. “For the wink! Please keep it for the wink!”

Later...

“Captain! Please make an effort to connect more with the rookies! They’re all intimidated by your silence!”

“...”

“If you coordinate well with them and get into the playoffs I’ll give you this!” Jiang Botao pressed a button on his phone, playing the video.

“Xiao Zhou, Jiayou! Keep working hard!” *Wink* *kiss*

Zhou Zekai stared at the little screen. “Want... Senior...”

“If you want it, please make an effort to get along!”

Zhou Zekai nodded emphatically.

“If we do well this season, we can go visit him later!”

Zhou Zekai was already walking out the door.

(9) Happy

“God Ye! Is it true that you initially worked as a staff member for Happy Internet Cafe?” Cameras flashed during the press conference following the Challenger League.

Chen Guo butted in, “It’s Happy Cosplay Internet Cafe. Get your facts right!”

“God Ye! Is it true that you engaged in crossplay?”

“It’s not that bad when you get used to it! Besides, my boss says I should show off my ‘legs for days.’”

“God Ye! Is it true that the other members of Happy cosplay as well?”

Chen Guo again interrupted. “At this time I would like to announce the limited edition release of our new cosplay photobook. It includes both group and individual cosplay photos of all of Team Happy. This limited edition will also include a section of Captain Ye’s best cosplays and a new cosplay as One Autumn Leaf. The photobooks will be on sale starting at midnight tonight and will cost 800 yuan. Proceeds will go to the development of Team Happy and also Ye Xiu’s costume repertoire. Thank you for your patronage.”

All the reporters gossipped among themselves. The males complained it was way too expensive, more than double the price of other costume books, but were quite sorely tempted by the One Autumn Leaf photo. The females wanted to see those legs for days.

The clubs were some of the first to buy the books when they came on sale. When questioned why they wanted to help the enemy the teams merely said, for research. Yeah, for research.

And so, Team Happy became the most influential team in the alliance for the sole reason of Ye Xiu fangirling.

//End notes:  *sweating* Yeah this totally fits the prompt. “Ye Xiu has retired from Glory and departs Excellent Era but doesn’t head to Happy Internet Cafe and become a night manager.” Hahaha *runs away*//

[artistjordon]

Untitled 1

O.R OFFICER RIVER

C.R COMMANDER REN

WARINGS: NONE

“I am not a therapist Officer Krink, turn in the complaint and someone will find you as soon as possible with a solution,” i said coldly as i stared up at the young female officer who sat in front of my desk. She was pissed after the General exploded at her for making a communications mistake, it was her fault but she trying to find some compensation. Little did she know that at the end of the day my orders were to shred every complaint about the General or The Commander. The young Officer slammed the gunmetal grey door shut after she realized i was nothing but a collector. I sighed, my shoulders low as i began to rifle through papers. I didn’t want this job, nobody wants this job- Human Resources, it’s boring, dull and overall soul-suckingly slow. All i do is hear people complain about work but even in some of the true cases, where i want to help, i can’t... I’m just a paper collector. Don’t get me wrong, working for the 1st order is cool and all but this isn’t what i signed up for. I signed up to be pilot, an AT-M8 Gunner, or a strategist! There were a few more occupations but after simmering at this desk for so long i believe that i was useless. Even in this job, i feel useless.

10pm, the Human Resources department closes but i stay late to shred the complaints about The general and commander. Normally, i shred a stack of 300 but over the past few weeks the complaints have piled up to 600 a day.

[C.R] Are you still at the office?

[O.R] Yes sir, just shredding today’s complaints

[C.R] You don’t have to call me Sir through messages, Be there soon

[O.R] Yes sir.

“You and Hux have really been pissing people off lately,” i huffed as i heard the heavy thud of boots near.

“Good,” Kylo huffed and sat down in my rolly chair as i sat on the floor by the shredder. I continued to shred as silence fell upon us. “Are you aware it's midnight?” Kylo finally spoke up, i could feel his gaze locked on me but i kept shredding. “River” I looked away from my papers for a moment. “What is bothering you? Normally you have something to tell me,” He sighed, scooting the chair over to sit next to me.

“I’m bored,” I started trying to read whether or not he would want to hear me out but something spurred me to go on. “I have nothing exciting in my life, not saying i don’t appreciate my job, i do, but i go home, eat, sleep, wake up, work, go home- repeat...it’s mundane and i feel as if one day I’m going to turn into dust and disappear. But at the same moment i can’t do anything...risky or exciting because i have such a fear of punishment,” i shook my head as i pushed another stack of papers through the shredder. Kylo’s holopad beeped frantically before he could respond but it meant he had to go. “Be safe,” i said as he stood up, his leather glove ruffling my hair slightly.

“You too space dust. I’ll come see you tomorrow,” And with that Kylo was gone and so was my only friend.

I was laying in bed, looking up at the bare ceiling while my thoughts swirled around my job. I had gotten home around 2am but it was now 6am and i was unable to sleep.

[C.R] why are you awake?

[O.R] How do you know i was awake?

[C.R] Don’t worry about it, come to hangar CV 78 in uniform but bring casual clothes

[O.R] why? What is going on?

[C.R] just do it and hurry

I did what he wanted and i quickly got dressed and packed a plain t-shirt and sweatpants before i hurried down the hallway silently. Kylo was waiting outside the Hangar watching a small crew preparing his command shuttle.

“Hey,” i said softly and joined him, looking at the shuttle. “I have work at 8, is something wrong?” i spoke up.

“You’re off today and we’re taking a trip,” i watched a small smirk fought its way to Kylo’s face. I didn’t question anything anymore but the fear of getting in trouble bubble in my throat. I followed behind Kylo as we boarded the shuttle but it wasn’t until we were inside that i shook my hands nervously.

“I don’t know if i can do this,” i said looking at around at the empty seats.

“You have to, I am your Commander and you do what is ay. So if I say you are off today, You are off today. Get up here and be my co-pilot,” Kylo called but i was hesitant as he sat down in the pilot's chair, the co-pilot chair empty.

“I don’t know how to fly,” i whispered.

“You are about to learn, so sit down and watch,” I felt my body tug a little towards the seat. “Primary starting sequences can be carried out by the pilot or co-pilot. See that red switch? Flip it up, that turns on the auxiliary power source,” I uncovered the red switch and flicked it up, a groan sounding from under our feet. My face immediately when white. “Don’t get all pasty on me, you’ll start to look like Hux,” Kylo sneered playfully and heat rose to my cheeks. Kylo continued to narrate how the primary stating sequences went and soon enough he was guiding the large shuttle out of the hangar. I tensed for a moment as the hangar disappeared from view and i was face to face with the vast open darkness of space. After a few minutes of amazement, I broke the silence.

“Thank you,”I glanced over at Kylo who was smirking to himself as he programmed the auto-pilot.

“Thank me later, we have a whole day on Canto Bight. Enjoy it,”I sat back in the pilot's chair, enjoying the view as planets sped by. “Before we land, you need to change into the other clothes. Go in the back, i won’t look,” he shot me a rare smile and i hurried towards the back of the Shuttle. I was uneasy about having no coverage but i trusted Kylo enough to know when he says he won’t- he won’t. I stripped off my uniform quickly and slipped into the plain shirt and black sweatpants…

Canto Bight was incredible but sooner than i wanted we returned to the Finalizer and i was back in my uniform still looking sharp.

“Thank you for today-” Kylo stopped me just as we were about to leave the Shuttle.

“It’s not over yet, just follow me and keep close,” Kylo said quietly as the exit ramp lowered. I stay behind him and to his left as required by protocol. We passed by the human resource department and a shard of ice grew in my stomach. Kylo felt my uneasiness because as soon as we entered a private room he was chest to chest with me, studying me. I wasn’t sure what to do, look up at him? Eye contact? But he was my friend- wait were we friends? Could we have friends? Moments passed and my visible uneasiness grew.

“Yes, we are friends,” Kylo spoke softly. “And i would never do this but i trust you, I’m not supposed to trust anyone, but you are different,” Kylo’s words made my cheeks burn and he finally stepped back a little. “You said you wanted something risky. Here’s risky,” Kylo’s hand reached for his waist as he unclipped his saber.

“I-i can’t, it’s not my place,” i stuttered by kylo was standing behind me, his chest pressed to my back as he placed the saber in my hand and kept his hand wrapped around mine.

“You never know,” Kylo said and he moved my thumb over the activator. With a slight pressure, the saber crackled to life under our hands. My body stiffened but relaxed almost instantly, the hum of my hand didn’t feel foreign.

“Are you doing that?” i whispered as i felt a warm sensation crawl up my legs until it spread across my whole body.

“No but…” Kylo’s hands disappeared and he stepped away from me as i stood there, a violent red saber in my hand. “It fits you,” his voice filled my ears and i took a few careful steps until i was facing Kylo. only then was i able to see a look of pride on his face. “Swing it, just watch for the crossguards…” his voice trailed off, watching me, waiting. I hesitantly swung the saber to my side and i felt my lips tug upwards. I did the action a few more times, watching the crossguards but i got carried away with it. Letting my body go with what felt natural. I twirled the saber with one hand before swinging it to my side and eventually until it was in front of me. Kylo just stood there, watching with what seemed like a blank expression.

“Did i do something wrong?” i finally spoke up trying to see if i did anything.

“No, but you no longer have a job with human resources,” Kylo sighed. “Twirl it again,” he added and i did just so but as i waited to see what else he wanted something came flying from my left. I acted quickly and sliced the weighted sand ball in half but i as i went to return to a resting posting one of the crossguards hit my forearm. It burned through my uniform and into my skin. Kylo called the saber to him immediately and was at my side, grabbing my arm. He wasn’t angry or disappointed he was more amused that i was crying but somehow laughing. “Look at what you did,” Kylo sighed and inspected the 5-inch burn going up my arm. Tears were running down my face because the burn did hurt a lot but i kept smiling as i looked up to Kylo. he was looking down at my face, hands ghosting over the burn. 

“Look at what you did River,” Kylo’s voice was a whisper as he hesitantly closed the space between us. His lips pressed softly to mine while he still held my burnt arm but his other arm pulled me into him. For a few long drawn out seconds, there was nothing but the feeling of warmth shared between us...

[saikostories]

GOT7 - Who Are You? (JB) pt2

Jaebum felt the emptiness that was you, form a hole in his chest as he stepped inside GOT7’s dorms for what would have been the first time in six months. Nothing had changed – everything being exactly how he remembered it as he walked into the living room, seeing the familiar surroundings that were once so comforting to him. By now, everyone had already gone to bed in preparation for the morning photo-shoot, only leaving Jaebum, Jackson and Jinyoung as the only three souls awake.

“Did you want to come along to the shoot in the morning? Technically you’re still on hiatus, so you don’t have to if you don’t want to – don’t pressure yourself” Jinyoung said as he watched Jaebum open a bag that contained a pile of his dirty clothes before throwing it inside the washing machine.

“I’m gonna ring JYP in the morning and talk about when to announce my return. Right now, I’m gonna take a shower and then head over to (Y/N)’s apartment to gather photos and whatnot” Jaebum switched the machine on before grabbing a clean pair of jeans and a shirt from a huge pile on top of the dryer.

Jackson and Jinyoung both sat at the kitchen table, watching Jaebum quickly sort himself out in an almost manic state. “I don’t know what time I’ll be back, so you two just head to bed when you feel like it” Jaebum added, giving out orders as if he never temporarily stood down from his leaders position - making Jackson inwardly chuckle in defiance.

Jaebum came to the bottom of his bag, finding his phone that had been switched off for the past 6 months – along with his charger. He knew that he would end up having to buy a completely new phone and change his number as to not have Mia texting him when she found out he had returned, but seeing as it was nearing 10pm, he had no other choice but to deal with it. He took the phone in his hand, and without switching it on – he plugged it into the charger, but he couldn’t deny the feeling of anxiety he felt building up within him. As Jackson and Jinyoung chatted amongst themselves about you waking up, Jaebum very sneakily slid his phone right behind the toaster; completely out of view to anyone who would walk past – knowing that none of the boys even used the toaster in the first place.

“Did you want me to come with you to (Y/N)’s place and help you sort through stuff?” Jackson asked suddenly, almost making Jaebum jump right out of his skin as he was living on his nerves the whole time he was hiding his phone.

“I…I’d rather it just be me. It’s something I want to do on my own, you know? I appreciate you asking but – I want to do it by myself. Thanks Jackson” Jaebum turned around to face both of his friends staring at him – Jackson nodding and telling him that he completely understood. Without lingering for too long, Jaebum excused himself; making his way out of the kitchen and into the shower – leaving Jackson and Jinyoung alone at the table.

Jinyoung was the first to look up at Jackson, both of them donning pensive, knowing eyes before Jackson trailed his over to the toaster. Unbeknownst to Jaebum, his strange behaviour of trying to hide his phone didn’t go unnoticed.

“Is it just me…or was that strange? Did you see that?” Jinyoung asked first.

Jackson parted his lips slightly, playing with his tongue on his bottom teeth as he nodded to Jinyoung – both of them hearing Jaebum turning on the shower water from down the hall. They knew that Jaebum never took long in the shower, and he would probably be taking even less time tonight seeing as he was practically racing against time itself to make it to your place.

“What are you thinking?” Jinyoung leaned on the table, studying Jacksons perplexed face as Jackson began to battle a war in his mind. He wanted to believe that Jaebum was innocent, he wanted to believe that his own paranoia had a completely logical explanation – but he knew that something wasn’t right; and he was going to try and do whatever it took to solve this mystery.

“Do you…does any of this sit right with you? This whole thing. The night of the accident, Jaebum saying he was out for a ‘run’ for 4 hours…(Y/N) not being able to remember him because of the supposed ‘traumatic memories’…and now he’s trying to hide his phone? Jinyoung – please call me crazy. Please tell me that none of this is suspicious and I’m just overacting” he blurted out all in one go, keeping his voice to a minimal level as to not let anyone else in the dorm hear.

Jinyoung looked away from Jackson – thinking back to his own words to the doctor when he said that you and Jaebum had the most perfect relationship; but the more he thought about it, the more he got a bad feeling about everything. If Jaebum’s strange behaviour wasn’t enough for him to wake up and smell the suspicion, it was Jackson’s face right in front of him that clearly said “Something is wrong”.

“I didn’t think there was anything wrong at first. But, when Jaebum ran out of the room after puking at the doctors words…and now seeing the whole phone behind the toaster thing…Jackson, what the hell is going on? Do you know something I don’t?” Jinyoung couldn’t shake the feeling of uneasiness, before both boys heard Jaebum emerge from the shower, his footsteps getting closer and closer until finally, he poked his head around the kitchen door; Jinyoung and Jackson trying to act as naturally as they could – as if they weren’t just talking about him behind his back.

“Guys, I just remembered that (Y/N) has a huge box full of things like Polaroid’s and stuff we got together from ages ago in her wardrobe! She keeps everything she gets and never throws it away…” he trailed off, smiling to himself as he recalled always poking playful fun at you for being a hoarder, your words back to him being “But everything you give me is precious, and I’m gonna keep them forever and ever.”

“I’ll be back later, see you guys tomorrow” Jaebum said quickly, before disappearing out of sight – the thought of collecting and gathering all your things filling his mind; not even thinking about the fact that he had left his phone…with all of the evidence that he had been cheating on you, slid behind the toaster in the kitchen.

As Jinyoung and Jackson heard Jaebum exit the dorm, Jackson didn’t waste any time in getting up from his chair and storming right over to the toaster, pulling Jaebum’s phone out from behind it by the charger lead and pressing the power button, switching it on and waiting for it to power up.

“Jackson…are you sure you wanna do this?” Jinyoung stood beside him, trying to be the voice of reason as Jackson felt the burning itch to find out what Jaebum was hiding – a mere moments away from possibly finding out the truth.

“There could be something on here. And if there’s not, then I guess I’m just a paranoid mess. But why hide something when you’ve got nothing to hide? I need to know, Jinyoung. (Y/N)…(Y/N) is one of the most important people to me. She’s my best friend and I just can’t help but think…fuck, I don’t know what I think” he mumbled through his teeth as he saw Jaebum’s phone finally power on, his background a picture of you and him, with the pass-code screen requesting a 6 digit code; 6 digits that were holding Jackson from finding out the truth.

“Do you even know the pass-code?” Jinyoung asked, starting to feel beads of sweat form on his forehead as he saw Jackson quickly type in 6 numbers; and to his relief, the phone unlocked.

“It’s a mix of numbers between his birthday and (Y/N)’s. I saw him unlocking it that night (Y/N) got hit by the car when we were in the waiting room – don’t even ask me how I remembered it. Now…where to look first…” Jackson pondered as he hovered his thumbs over all the different apps.

“Try messages?” Jinyoung suggested – feeling the confliction of guilt and curiosity take over him. Jackson nodded, going into Jaebum’s messages to find that the very last message Jaebum read was from someone stored in his phone as ‘MiA’. Jackson, without thinking twice, opened the message thread – both his and Jinyoung’s eyes widening and their jaws hitting the ground at the last messages received.

“…what the fuck” Jinyoung whispered, reading the endearing, heart-felt words that Mia had text Jaebum – immediately being able to put two and two together, but also seeing that Jaebum hadn’t messaged her back, not even once. Jackson, however; felt rage and anger consume from the bottom of his stomach right to the top of his head as he finally cottoned on. As he read over each and every single word, he didn’t just feel unfathomable hate for Jaebum – but he also found himself despising whoever Mia was too.

“Hold on a second” Jackson thought out loud and he scrolled up quickly – out of pure interest to see the extent of Jaebum’s relationship with Mia.

Jackson and Jinyoung stood in silence, re-reading the words over and over and letting them sink into their brains. Jinyoung – at a loss for words, noticed Jacksons grip on the phone getting tighter and tighter, before looking up into his face to see a very prominent vein on Jackson’s forehead, nothing less than pure hate and anger spread across his features as Jackson thought he might throw up at any second, imagining just what was going though Jaebum’s mind at asking a girl - who wasn’t his girlfriend; to wear a red thong and to be ‘ready and waiting’ for his arrival.

“Jackson…look, let go of the phone. You’re going to break it – give me it” Jinyoung pulled the phone out of Jackson’s grip, placing it on the worktop before taking Jackson by the shoulders, trying his best to calm him down.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him Jinyoung. I swear, I’m going over right now to –“

“Jackson stop! Look, let’s think about this carefully okay? God damn it, this is a fucking mess” Jinyoung raised his voice, not only angry at Jaebum and his obvious infidelity, but angry at the fact that this could potentially cause irreversible damage to GOT7 as a whole.

“And who does this Mia person think she is? Sleeping with a man who has a girlfriend who loves him so blindly?! Man…I can’t even speak right now. I’m speechless. Maybe they deserve each other…cheating scumbags” Jackson pushed Jinyoung off him, leaning up against the worktop and finally understanding why Jaebum was behaving the way he had been behaving. For so long, Jaebum had lied to Jackson’s face every single time he asked him what was up, and Jackson had finally come to the end of his tether.

“Look, I am in NO way defending Jaebum because it’s obvious from reading the texts what he was up to. But Jackson, there’s two sides to every story. We don’t know who this girl is or if she even KNEW that Jaebum was in a relationship. I mean, if she did – then she’s just as bad as him. But if she didn’t…what I’m trying to say is; you can’t assume anything because we don’t know the full details. We can only see this side of it…you know?” Jinyoung spoke calmly, stepping over to Jackson to once again place his hands on his friend, gently rubbing the sides of his arms in an attempt to soothe Jackson’s obvious emotional distress.

“Jinyoung…do you think this is what the doctor meant? The painful, traumatic memories? Shit – Jinyoung; do you think that maybe…(Y/N) knew?” Jackson widened his eyes as his voice shook slightly, looking straight at Jinyoung who donned a similar look of shock as he never even thought that this could be the reason to cause your memories of Jaebum to be erased. “What the hell were you thinking, Jaebum…” Jinyoung thought to himself. There were times in the past when Jinyoung disagreed with and disliked Jaebum’s actions, but never in all the years that he had known him had he ever felt so hateful towards him. Jinyoung knew he wasn’t as close with you as you were to Jackson, but he still loved you and cared about you like a sister, nonetheless.

Jackson also knew that Jinyoung was right. He knew that he couldn’t make a rash decision based on only one piece of evidence, but it was a piece closer to solving the massive shit-show jigsaw puzzle that Jaebum had created in the wake of his cheating on you. Without saying another word to Jinyoung, Jackson grabbed Jaebum’s phone off the counter – getting Mia’s number and saving it to his own phone.

“What are you doing? Don’t tell me you’re –“

“You’re right Jinyoung. We don’t know the full story, so I’m going to meet this girl and see what she has to say – see how much she really knows about Jaebum” Jackson saved Mia’s number to his phone before switching Jaebum’s phone off and placing it in behind the toaster where he got it.

“Are you crazy?! Jackson…I don’t know, maybe this is too far and we should –“

“Too far?! I’ll tell you what’s too far Jinyoung; too far is cheating on your girlfriend who would do ANYTHING for you, too far is having your girlfriend’s mind completely erase your entire existence due to hurting her so badly that her entire being wishes she never knew you. What I’m doing is nowhere near far enough. I love Jaebum as a brother, I will always love him – but what he has done is…nothing short of disgusting. I can’t believe he would do this to (Y/N), you have no idea how far I would go to protect that girl.” Jackson held back tears of anger mixed with pity as he glared right into Jinyoung’s face.

Jinyoung sighed, knowing that every word that came out of Jackson’s mouth was the truth, and nothing but the truth. “Fine, I understand. But – you have to promise me two things” Jinyoung paused, seeing Jackson’s curiosity and thankfulness rise to attention.

“One – let’s just…keep this between us. No telling the other boys, getting them involved would just create more mess and we can’t have that. It would be bad for the group, you know?” he pleaded – before seeing Jackson nod in agreement. “And, two – I’m coming with you to meet her. I don’t want you going out alone to see her. We don’t know how she’ll react or what she’ll say and you might get too caught up in your head to deal with it alone. Okay?”

Jackson let out a frustrated sigh, nodding his head once again and agreeing to Jinyoung’s terms and conditions – his heart beating like a heavy steel drum as he looked up at the clock, seeing that it was now way past his usual bed-time.

“What are you gonna do? Are you gonna text her? Call her? When are you gonna contact her?” Jinyoung asked him.

“I’m going to text her pretending to be Jaebum. Maybe ask her to meet at a coffee shop. I haven’t thought that far ahead yet…but I’ll wait a few days before doing it. You’re right, Jinyoung. I get too in my own head about things. I need some time to think.”

“If we’re going to do this, we have to act and pretend like we know nothing about this to Jaebum….do you think you can do that?” Jinyoung’s voice was laced with caution as he observed Jackson yawning, his trouble-ridden, sleepy face making Jinyoung feel sorry that Jackson was caught up in all of this.

“Jaebum has lied to us all for 6 months. It shouldn’t be hard for me to adopt his persona and carry it on for a bit longer” Jackson’s voice dropped half a tone lower, his mind being filled with the thought of having to look upon Jaebum’s face again knowing that he had done something so unforgivable to you.

Jinyoung finally let go of Jackson’s arms, feeling like he had successfully managed to defuse a ticking time bomb. “I think we better get to bed if we want to at least get a few hours sleep. I’ll see you in the morning okay? And remember what I said.” Jinyoung licked his lips as he started off towards the hallway.

“Jinyoung…” he heard Jackson sleepily call his name from behind, turning around to look at him once more.

“I don’t want to sleep in my room. In case Jaebum comes home from (Y/N)’s house later. Do you…think it would be okay if I slept in with you?”

Jinyoung let a small chuckle fall from his lips, knowing that it would be a huge mistake to let Jackson sleep in his shared room with Jaebum with everything that just happened - in fear that he would wake up and find Jaebum beaten to a pulp and Jackson’s hands covered in blood in the morning.

“Of course you can. Come on – let’s go to bed. We can talk more about this when it’s just you and me tomorrow.” He held out his hand, seeing Jackson immediately shuffle over like a duckling to take it as both of them walked down the hallway together – Jackson’s head filled with thoughts of you, Jaebum and the other woman, Mia – and how he wished he could just make it all go away for the sake of you.

***

Taking the elevator up to your apartment and sliding his spare key into the locking mechanism of your front door was like muscle memory that would forever be engraved into Jaebum’s mind, as he pushed the door open to your apartment, letting himself into the place you called home.

As he gently let the door click behind him, he looked to his surroundings after flicking the light switch on, seeing the place that was once so welcoming, warm and inviting staring back at him as if it were a ghost town – or a house that someone used to live in before they died. Jaebum couldn’t help but think like that now, especially because it felt like he was already dead to you, seeing as you couldn’t even remember his face, let alone his name. Jaebum felt his emotions catch him right in the middle of his chest as he knew he couldn’t let these types of thoughts fill the space where he needed to be positive in the hopes you would somehow, hopefully, recall the good memories both of you once shared.

“The boys did a good job here anyway” he said to no one but the four walls around him as he walked through the main room of your apartment, thinking back to how all 6 of them informed him that they would make sure to keep your apartment well kept and clean – to which they honoured their word; mostly making sure that an inch of dust didn’t habituate itself where it wasn’t welcome, and throwing away any perishable food from your fridge or cupboards to stop foul smells from filling the air within. It was strange for Jaebum, seeing your home look so freakishly tidy. Usually, he would have seen a few pairs of your shoes at the front door, your coat hanging over one of the chairs or blankets piled up on the sofa for when you and he would have made yourselves warmly cosy, nestled in each other’s arms while watching a movie together. Regardless, he was most thankful to JYP for helping him out with paying for the rent and other mod-cons that came with your apartment on a monthly basis – “I don’t want her to have to worry about rent or anything else, I want to sort it all out for her” were Jaebum’s words as he feared the electric or water would get shut off in your absence.

Walking along the hallway to make his way into your bedroom, Jaebum began taking some of the pictures off that hung on the wall – pleasured moments frozen in time by your camera of the both of you. He observed each and every one with more detail than before – your face when you kissed him, the softness of your cheeks and lips on his skin and your smile in others while you looked at him adoringly. Jaebum knew that these moments were shared long before his betrayal; the look on your face that was completely unaware of how low his future self would sink striking Jaebum like a cold, steel blade in the centre of his stomach. However, he figuratively shook himself – holding the frames under his arm as he entered your bedroom, being met by your lonely bed that had been vacant for 6 months – the image of the bed sheets and pillows being exactly how Jaebum had remembered the night he left to go and meet Mia; the same night that you would then almost lose your life.

“I’m going out to the gym, dunno when I’ll be back but I’ll text you on my way home. Love you” he recalled telling you, dressed in sweatpants and an old shirt but taking his fancy clothes with him in his gym bag in preparation to meet Mia. He thought back to the look on your face as he kissed you on your cheek and squeezed your shoulders gently – was it a look of love? Of distrust? He couldn’t remember, no matter how hard he thought about it.

“I love you too, Jaebum. I really do.” You replied to him upon watching him walk out the door, knowing full well that he wasn’t going to the gym – but Jaebum was none the wiser then, and now; as he sat the picture frames on your vanity desk in your room, before opening your closet to be met by all of your clothes, shoes, hats and scarves that hung there. He couldn’t deny that he almost felt like a widower, sorting through his dead spouses clothes while grieving for her loss as he ran his fingers over the different fabrics and textures of your wardrobe, before kneeling down and reaching deep into the closet to where he knew you kept a large box filled with happy memories to look back at on rainy days.

“There you are” he mumbled, pulling the box out as he sat down on the floor with his legs crossed, opening the top before rummaging through each and every photo, trinket, note, small toy and random items from different places he took you that you kept. Jaebum didn’t know what would be the best to take or leave, deciding that bringing the whole box wouldn’t be a bad idea either. Before closing the box back up again, he happened to come across the most recent Polaroid he took of the both of you – possibly even being a mere week before your accident. As he looked at it, he saw his usual smile he wore whenever he was with you – but something about your disposition made him feel even more uneasy and guilty than usual. “Is there any way she could have known?” he thought, wondering if he had ever left his phone unlocked around you – knowing that you probably wouldn’t have followed him because it wasn’t like you to not address something directly.

“Shit, I left my phone at the dorm” he said out loud, but knowing that no one would be able to get into his messages anyway seeing as he had a pass-code, and the fact he hid it behind the toaster. Jaebum took a deep breath in as he stood up with the heavy box, sitting it in front of the door that led back to the hallway before placing the picture frames on top of it.

“I’ll bring some of her make-up and moisturisers too…familiar items, familiar smells” he muttered to himself as he opened your vanity drawer, pulling out your makeup bag and the scented peach and strawberries cream you always lathered on your skin after your shower every night – a smell he always associated with you as he popped the lid, taking in it’s comforting aroma before squeezing a little out on to his hand and rubbing it into his arm, making him feel like you were really there with him in that moment.

As he began to pack up, he also took some of your clothes he knew you loved to wear – especially the ones he bought you as random little gifts; also making sure to take some of your underwear as he was sure that maybe you had gotten sick of the plain, boring hospital provided ones by now.

Jaebum just about had everything ready to leave as he sat down on your bed, looking at his watch to see that he had spent the best part of 3 hours sorting through all of your things. As he stared off into space, he noticed your iPod sitting on your bedside cabinet. “I’ll charge this up and bring this too, she must miss listening to music…” he thought, knowing that you used to never be able to go a day without listening to it – always asking him to sing for you or the both of you making up silly songs together. Jaebum smiled as he thought back to the many songs you both composed – the sound of your voice harmonising with his being something he held close to his heart.

“Why did you do it, Jaebum?” he finally asked himself the million dollar question as he felt his heart sink once again. Without thinking, Jaebum laid down, resting his face against your pillow on your side of the bed, smelling your scent still very strong on the pillowcase as if you had just been laying there moments ago. He pulled his body up into the foetal position, letting his hands slip underneath the pillow before feeling something there. He furrowed his brows a little, pulling out one of his oversized shirts that he knew you loved to wear to bed as he let a small sigh fall from his lips. He brought the soft material right up to his nose, taking in your natural scent still very prominent on his shirt – making him feel like you were right in front of him as if he were cuddling you from behind in bed.

“Why did you do it, Jaebum? Why were you such an idiot? What for?” he asked himself again, only this time he couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down his face and landing on your pillow as he began harshly sobbing for the first time since finally being able to be on his own. He knew he had no right to grieve, but he grieved anyway. Not because of the fact you couldn’t remember him, but because he was so stupid to commit such blameworthy offences to you, who didn’t deserve any type of ill-treatment at all. Being in your empty apartment by himself just brought everything crashing down on top of him all at once as he recalled the moments both of you would have shared, the distant memory of your laughter and smiling echoing throughout his mind; torturing him. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, he felt like he couldn’t live without you as he let out a blood-curdling cry, his face red and his cheeks wet from the rivers of tears streaming down them; his cries now turning into silent gasps for air while he continued to clutch on to one of the very last things he knew that you probably used before going out that night – where you went, he didn’t know.

“Do I tell her everything I did if she remembers me? Would it make things worse? What do I do? What should I do?” Jaebum lamented, knowing that in times of indecisiveness, you were always there to help him clear his mind and make the right decision…but he didn’t have you now. The only person he had was him – making him feel truly alone and desolate. For now that he had no one to turn to; he was forced to turn to himself.

That night, for the first time in his life; Jaebum rocked himself back and forward in your bed as he cried himself to sleep with all the thoughts of his actions playing over and over again in his mind – while you, in your hospital bed, found yourself doing the same thing, crying over a stranger you couldn’t remember; for what reason? You didn’t know.

***

Since waking up from a six month coma, your amnesia wasn’t the only thing that frustrated you beyond belief. Not only did you start to live with the damning thought of not being able to remember someone who obviously loved you so much, you also had to learn how to do basic, normal human things again – such as walking and moving around by yourself. Seeing as you had been ‘sleeping’, your muscle mass and body weight had dropped significantly, and you felt like a baby learning how to walk and move for the very first time. Your mind knew what it wanted to do, but sometimes it just felt like your body wouldn’t co-operate.

However, all hope was not lost as your frequent visitors were always there to offer you encouraging words and motivation – especially when you came back from your physiotherapy sessions. Your best friends from GOT7, (and the hospital nurses that all now seemed to make sure to wear makeup and have their hair sitting nicely for whenever they knew that the young men would be coming to see you); were the main driving force for you to dedicate your mind to want to get better. Even when at times when it felt like you weren’t progressing, it was times like now when Mark, Jackson, Jinyoung, Youngjae, Yugyeom and BamBam were all sitting around your bed and talking with you, just like old times that it made everything seem like it was truly going to be okay.

“So, what did you guys get up to at the weekend?” you asked as Yugyeom sat a lovely bowl of tonkotsu ramen on your hospital table in front of you, wheeling it up closer to your body for easier access.

“It’s pretty much just been rehearsing and practising the new dance routines…my legs are killing me though!” BamBam whined from the bottom of your bed as he rubbed the sides of his thighs with his hands.

“Yeah I have to admit, some of the new choreo makes my thighs feel like they’re on fire. When you’re all fully recovered, I’ll teach you the new moves and you’ll be able to see what we mean” Mark chucked in defeat as he too felt the burn that the other boys experienced. You laughed along with them however, listening to their usual wild banter – but noticing that today, Jackson seemed a little quieter and a little more sombre than usual.

“And what about you, Wang puppy? You’re awful quiet today~” you reached out your hand to lightly pinch his cheek as he smiled faintly back into your face, returning the same gesture as he took both your cheeks in between his palms and squished them together, eliciting a delighted giggle from you in the process.

“Wang puppy has been his usual puppy self. Just a bit tired, that’s all” he assured you, ruffling your hair lazily, being thankful to see your smile once again painted brightly on your lips as he let his eyes fall on Jinyoung – both of them recalling the conversation that they had earlier on that morning.

“Have you…contacted her yet?” Jinyoung had asked, in reference to this mysterious Mia that they had found on Jaebum’s phone 2 weeks ago.

“I haven’t had time to. We’ve been too busy with the group and it would have just been a distraction…how do you think I should do it? Should I just do the texting thing and pretend I’m Jaebum? Ask her to meet us somewhere?” Jackson whispered back to him as the both of them got up from Jinyoung’s bed, sorting out their clothes for the day. Jinyoung knew that Jackson was absolutely hell-bent on meeting Mia and finding out all about what Jaebum had been up to behind your back – but Jinyoung had since found himself having second thoughts.

“Jackson..are you sure it’s the right thing to do? Wouldn’t it be better to just…talk it out with Jaebum first? Look, I understand how angry you are. (Y/N) means a lot to you, and she means a lot to me too but…don’t you think this is all a bit much?” Jinyoung sat back down on the bed after zipping his jeans up, watching Jackson from the other side of the room as Jackson pulled on a clean shirt.

Jackson let out a heavy, disgruntled sigh as he looked to Jinyoung, a clear look of uncertainty apparent on his soft features. He couldn’t deny that he too began to have second thoughts about meeting up with Mia – but they still didn’t overpower the hurt and anger he felt when he thought about Jaebum physically and knowingly cheating on you. He knew that he had to do something. What that something was, he wasn’t sure of.

“I’ve been thinking…what if I gave Jaebum one more chance to come clean? He..He’s my brother after all. And although I hate him more than I can describe right now…I want to at least be able to turn around when this is all over and say that I’ve given him more than enough chances. What do you think?” Jackson sat down beside Jinyoung as they both began putting on their socks, keeping their voices low and unheard by everyone else in the dorm.

“I think – that’s a much better idea than just storming into this battle unprepared. If…if Jaebum still doesn’t man up and tell you the truth…then I’ll support you in whatever decision you make. For (Y/N), right?”

Jinyoung smiled faintly at Jackson from the other side of your bed as you all listened to BamBam and Yugyeom continuing to talk about the new choreography – Yugyeom now giving you a live demonstration as BamBam explained the techniques in such a way that made all of you burst out laughing, the entire room being filled with warmth and glee; however, the happiness was not confined to that of the four walls of your room, for just outside – Jaebum was listening through the door. Hearing your laughter echo through his mind made him smile more genuinely than he had in such a long time. Being able to hear you comment back to the other boys, listening to and hanging off your every word and wanting to hear more of your voice and what you had to say; filled him with a type of relief that Jaebum didn’t know existed in this world. He wished so badly that he was a part of it. He yearned to be let in to see the large smile he knew was currently on your face…but he knew that if he walked in to join the fun between you all, your smile would fade and the laughter would cease to exist.

“I’m going out to get some more coffee, anybody else want some?” Mark stood up, grabbing his wallet off your table as he looked around the room for a show of hands.

“I’ll join you! I fancy some cafe latte – the lady down at the shop always puts cinnamon in mine!” Youngjae joined Mark as he walked over to him. Everyone else in the room shook their heads at the coffee request, as Mark nodded and opened the door to let him and Youngjae out into the hallway – being met by Jaebum who had since stood back upon hearing their intentions to leave the room.

“Oh, hyung…when did you get here?” Youngjae asked as Mark quickly closed the door behind him.

“Hey – I got here a few minutes ago” Jaebum smiled, knowing that he had been there longer than a few minutes, but not wanting to seem more pathetic to his younger member than he already felt like he was. Youngjae nodded at him awkwardly as Mark pursed his lips to the side – seeing Jaebum’s swollen eyes, his dull, tired skin and the obvious fatigue and mental torture on his features from not being able to talk to you as much as the rest of them had been. “How is (Y/N)? How did she get on at her physiotherapy session? Is…is she eating enough?” Jaebum raised his eyebrows in a concerned fashion, desperate to know how you truly were.

Youngjae went to answer Jaebum, about to tell him that you were coming along in leaps and bounds – that you were doing really well, but before he could; Mark reached out his hand to Jaebum’s shoulder, feeling sorrier for him than ever.

“JB…how about we ask (Y/N) if it’s alright for you to come in? She…she’s been going through the box of stuff you gave to us to bring in to her, and it’s been a while since you last saw her. It can’t hurt to ask, right?” Mark said in a low voice, seeing Jaebum’s face light up like a Christmas tree at the thought of being in your company once again.

“I…do you think it would be okay? I don’t want to..ruin the mood or anything” Jaebum’s lip quivered as he looked right back into Marks eyes. Mark shook his head, smiling at him as he patted him once more on his shoulder.

“I’m sure she’d love to see you. Even though she can’t fully remember you, something has to be there – right? I’ll go ask her, gimmie a minute” Mark said quickly, telling Youngjae to go on without him and bring him back some coffee, before both boys went their separate ways; Youngjae in search of coffee, and Mark back into the room – leaving Jaebum standing in what felt like limbo, waiting to be judged as if he were waiting to be let in through the gates of heaven.

A few moments later, Mark poked his head back around the door, catching Jaebum’s eyes as he smiled and nodded at him, opening the door wider to let him inside as Jaebum felt his heart begin to race in his chest – wondering if perhaps you had remembered even a fragment of the relationship you had shared with each other before. Jaebum walked through the doorway slowly, recalling the last time he had been in your hospital room when you had first woken up; when you had said the three words that haunted his dreams at night – “Who Are You?”

“Hi Jaebum” you waved to him slightly as Jaebum locked eyes with you – not being able to control his nervous boyish smile that made its way on to his face as he wiggled his fingers back at you, standing at staring at you for a little too long as Jackson and Jinyoung flinched at each other in his presence. Jackson felt similar to that of a lion protecting his wounded lioness from imminent danger – on edge and ready to pounce; but he knew that acting too soon would cause everything to blow up in his face, and he didn’t want that kind of commotion to go down right in front of you.

“Take a seat, hyung” Jackson said as normally as he could – pointing to Youngjae’s vacant chair at the far end of the room by the window. Jaebum swallowed; originally wanting to sit somewhat closer to you - but not wanting to cause a scene, it seemed like he didn’t have much of a choice. Jaebum nodded gingerly, still smiling at you as he made his way over to the chair and sat himself down, trying his best not to creep you out too much with his stare on you as he attempted to avert his eyes for random periods of time to everyone else’s faces. You watched him occasionally, the way he nervously fiddled with his fingers and obsessively folded his arms over and over again as the conversation continued in the room just as it had been before he entered. A part of you thought that having Jaebum in the same room would be tense and uncomfortable – but even though he didn’t really participate that much in the conversation, you couldn’t deny that you didn’t feel awkward at all; like he was supposed to be there in the first place.

“Alright, we better get going” Jinyoung pouted into your face a little while later as the clock neared the reality of them having to go back to their routine schedule before 6:30pm.

“It’s almost time for your therapy session too – I’ll be back tomorrow anyway, okay? Text me before you go to sleep~” Jackson – completely ignoring Jaebum’s existence - smiled at you as he held your hand in his, rubbing your arm with his other hand while you sadly nodded back at him, hating when they had to leave, thus leaving you all alone to your own devices. Jaebum couldn’t help himself but become slightly coloured with a tint of green; envious at Jacksons skinship with you that Jaebum wanted – needed so desperately himself. “What does he think he’s doing?” he thought, wondering why Jackson would do that so openly in front of him when he obviously knew the hurt that he was feeling inside.

“I’ll do that~ Take care – all of you” you sighed, half smiling at the boys as they all began saying their goodbyes, filing out of the room one by one – Jaebum being the last one to begin walking out the door. You watched him as he trudged aimlessly behind them, waving to you a little before turning around to face the door – when suddenly, you spoke up.

“Jaebum..can you..can you come here for a second? Just – wait here a second” you stammered – not knowing how to properly address him after it being so long since your last encounter. Jaebum’s eyes widened to their full capacity at the sound of his name falling from your lips as he felt his hair stand on the back of his neck, mixed with tiny butterflies that fluttered around in his stomach as Jackson and Jinyoung snapped their heads around to Jaebum after hearing you request him to stay.

Jaebum turned to face you, his mouth slightly agape as he tried to keep his breathing under control. “Are you sure it’s okay? You..you don’t want any of the other guys to stay for a second as well?” his voice was shaky as he felt his knees tremble – for what reason, he couldn’t tell. Jackson and Jinyoung looked between each other warily as Jackson clenched his jaw slightly, wishing he could come up with some excuse not to leave you alone with Jaebum, but your request had caught him off guard - leaving him frozen on the spot.

“I just want to…talk to you alone for a second – if you have time that is. Do you mind?” you raised your eyebrows at him before Jaebum came rushing over to you, sitting down on the chair right beside your bed and eagerly staring into your face as the door to the room fell shut – leaving Jackson and Jinyoung waiting impatiently on the other side. You couldn’t help but feel your heart swoon a little at Jaebum’s emotions bleeding out in the form of hope and love apparent on his welcoming features, smiling to yourself as you took out something from underneath your pillow.

“This..this is us, right?” you presented one of the many pictures that Jaebum had included in the box for you.

“Yeah..” Jaebum gulped, feeling tiny beads of sweat forming on the back of his neck as he stared back and forth between your gaze and the picture, “That day – we went to the aquarium and…And I bought you a dolphin teddy bear that you really wanted.. I don’t know if you seen it bu –“

“I seen it in the box~ Thank you so much for bringing all this, Jaebum” you finished his sentence for him, seeing the brightest smile form on his face to know that you had acknowledged every single item he had brought for you. You smiled back at him warmly for a few, silent yet comfortable seconds before Jaebum couldn’t contain his feelings and pent up thoughts any longer – inevitably breaking the ice.

“I know…I know this must be really hard on you (Y/N). I wish so badly that I could…take all of the bad things that have happened to you and make them happen to me instead. But, just so you know…I’ll wait forever for you to get your memory back. I don’t care how long it takes…I’m never going to leave you. I’ll never leave. I’ll always be here, right here…waiting” Jaebum meant every single word that came out of his mouth as he laid his cards on the table and said what he had been wanting to say to you ever since you lost your memory. You felt like your chest was about to cave in when you saw a single tear trickle from one his beautiful, brown eyes – the whole way down his cheek before stopping under his jaw-line; Jaebum never taking his eyes off you even though he was blinded by his own tears.

“J-Jaebum..can I..” you trailed off, raising your hand to his face as Jaebum widened his eyes and stiffened his body – almost petrified on the spot; before your fingers came in contact with his face. Jaebum sat as still as a lamb, his breathing becoming more irregular while watching you ponder over each and every single one of his features, delicately touching the outline of his almond shaped eyes and dotting your fingers on his two little moles that he knew you loved most about him. You trailed your finger down what he recalled you always referring to as his ‘heart-shaped’ nose, before stopping at his lips that formed a perfect cupids bow – slightly chapped but still enticing nonetheless. Your mind felt slightly foggy – almost like you were walking down a long road, thick with early morning mist that was almost impossible to wade through as you cupped your hand on his cheek and stared right into his eyes. “Am I…am I remembering something? There’s something…Jaebum…” you thought as you heard echoed memories resounding throughout your mind – not being able to pinpoint any in particular.

“(Y/N)..” Jaebum whispered, gently raising his hand to cup it on yours; before the next thing you knew, you could hear a clear, high pitched white-noise in your ears, mixed with the sound of a car screeching as you pulled your hand away suddenly – all of it becoming too much for you to handle. “(Y/N), are you okay?! Do you need me to get someone?” Jaebum’s voice raised itself in a panicked fashion as you pressed your fingertips to your temples, massaging them and shaking your head at him.

“No! No it’s okay – I’m okay. I’m sorry I just…I thought I was remembering something but…it’s gone” your voice dipped on your last word, knowing that it was probably Jaebum’s touch that brought about the state of panic in you. “Why did I react that way? What’s happening?” you screamed at yourself internally, hating yourself for causing the look of shock that was smacked across Jaebum’s face as he looked at you with so much pity and fear.

Jaebum licked his lips slowly, breathing deeply as you did the same – effectively calming yourself down before looking up at him once more, trying to offer him some kind of reassurance that you were fine. “I don’t know what that was but…I felt something, Jaebum. I really did – I felt something” you could see the hope on his face rise as Jaebum’s breath caught itself right in his lungs – before you both heard a knock at the door with Jinyoung’s voice coming from the other side.

“Jaebum – we really need to go now…the cars are waiting outside”

Jaebum turned back round to you, both of you with slightly sad smiles on your lips as Jaebum lowered his eyes to the floor. “I have to go but…maybe next time; we can do some more of…whatever this was? If it helps – but not too much okay? I don’t want you to hurt yourself…” he murmured quietly, fiddling with his fingers as you nodded back at him.

“Agreed. I’d really like that, Jaebum” you replied, feeling like you were actually starting to get somewhere with this whole amnesia dilemma, and all it took was a slight touch of his hand.

“Oh! I almost forgot~” Jaebum clicked his tongue as he stood up, taking your iPod out of his jeans pocket that he cursed himself for stupidly forgetting to include in your box.

“My iPod!” you clasped your hands together as Jaebum sat it down for you on your hospital table, smiling and biting his bottom lip at your adorable, animated actions while you took it in your grasp as if you were a child opening presents on Christmas day.

“It’s all charged, and I put a few more songs on there for you to listen to. You used to always love listening to music before you went to sleep so I figured that…it would be something you would like in here too” he added - Jinyoung knocking again from the hallway, letting Jaebum know that he was really pressing them all for time now.

“See you next time, right? And..just so you know, I put my number in a note in the iPod. If you ever want to message me, you can. Any time, okay?” Jaebum began backing up towards the door as you nodded at him in return, smiling a little sheepishly as you both began waving goodbye to each other.

“See you next time, Jaebum” you called out to him as Jaebum felt happiness hit him like a 10 tonne truck, opening the door that lead out to the hallway – taking one last look at the smile that he had put on your face, before closing the door behind him.

Jaebum began walking down the hallway towards the elevator, feeling like he had just grown an extra 3 foot, a very apparent blush habituating itself on his cheeks for the first time in too long. “Everything is gonna be okay – you just need to wait a little longer and everything will sort itself out…I love you (Y/N)” he said over and over again to himself as he stopped before the elevators, pressing the button to take him down.

“Everything alright?” Jaebum heard a voice from behind him as he turned around to see Jackson, leaning up against the stairwell door – obviously waiting for his return. Jaebum beamed gleefully at Jackson, not being able to keep a lid on his undeniable feelings of excitement. “Everything is…amazing! Jackson, she wants to see me again the next time and…oh my god I think we might be getting somewhere – finally!” Jaebum exclaimed as he grinned from ear to ear.

Jackson raised his eyebrows as his mouth formed his best fake smile he could muster. As they both stood waiting for the elevator to arrive, all Jackson wanted to do was to drive his fist so deep into Jaebum’s face and send him flying into next year – as far away from you as possible; but knowing that he had already decided to try and give his leader one final chance to redeem himself.

“That’s great hyung! I’m so happy to hear that – but actually, I needed to ask you something” Jackson pulled out his phone as Jaebum looked to him, waiting for him to continue. “You know, it’s so weird – I tried calling you yesterday but it said your number was disconnected? And then…I saw you with a new phone this morning. Did something happen to your old phone? Perhaps…you were getting weird calls or messages?” Jackson couldn’t have made himself more obvious if he had tried, but he intentionally did so; desperately wanting Jaebum to do the right thing.

Jaebum chuckled slightly as he shook his head, pulling out his own phone as the elevator doors opened, revealing an empty lift as they both took a step inside. “Yeah, some fans must have gotten my number somehow. I kept getting creepy texts and calls so I just decided to get a new phone. I wanted to upgrade for ages now anyway. I must have forgot to give you my new number, here it is~” Jaebum turned his screen around to Jackson, smiling at him and waiting for him to save his new number.

Jackson filled his lungs with air, feeling truly defeated as he took down Jaebum’s number and saved it, locking his phone and putting it back into his pocket as the elevator came to the ground floor. “I practically gave you that on a silver platter, Jaebum. Now – we do things the hard way. You made your bed, now you’re gonna lie in it.” Jackson seethed in his mind as he walked behind his leader, clenching his fists in an uncontrollable rage.

As Jaebum and Jackson joined Jinyoung and Youngjae in one of the cars that had been waiting for them, Jackson looked to Jinyoung next to him in the back-seat as Jaebum sat down beside Youngjae in front of them – Jackson shaking his head in disdain as Jinyoung let his eyes fall to the floor. As the car took off towards their destination, Jinyoung knew that an entire volcano was about to erupt in the next few days; and the only person left to blame now, was Jaebum

***

“We’re definitely doing this then?” Jinyoung sat on his bed next to Jackson, both boys nervously passing looks of uncertainty between them before Jackson looked at his phone screen, lingering his thumb over the ‘send’ button to reach out to Mia – pretending to be Jaebum.

“You know once you send that message, there’s no going back. I’m not trying to talk you out of it…I’m just saying.” Jinyoung hummed quietly, but the only sound that Jackson could hear was the heavy drum of his heartbeat, pounding in his ears. He wished with all his being that none of this ever happened – Jaebum’s cheating, your accident, the memory loss…all of it was causing a rift in his soul that he feared he would rip apart at any second.

“Jinyoung…” he paused momentarily, directing his gaze into his friends eyes as he thought about the possibility of you knowing that Jaebum had been cheating on you all along, and then completely losing all your memory of it. “I have to do this. I want to do this. I need to do this. Jaebum has hurt (Y/N) in ways that you or I couldn’t possibly imagine and this type of revenge…it’s a dish best served cold. I love Jaebum – and I always will, but he needs to pay for what he has done; one way or another.” And with that, Jackson pressed send – both of their hearts in their throats as they desperately waited to see if Mia would reply.

“If she does reply, make sure you type like Jaebum does. Oh – and if she agrees to meet, tell her to wear the red dress, that way we can know who she is when she comes in” Jinyoung crossed his legs as he glanced back and forth between the phone screen and the clock on his bedside table.

“….have you done this type of thing before by any chance?!” Jackson looked at him seriously as he internally highly commended Jinyoung for thinking of the most important things to do when impersonating someone – causing a moment of slight laughter between them both; something that had been few and far between in the midst of the woes they shared. Before they knew it, Jacksons phone received a text message – a reply from Mia. Jackson and Jinyoung both swallowed the lumps in their throats upon seeing her reply, before Jackson took a deep breath, and continued his set up conversation with a woman who along with Jaebum, he dubbed as ‘home wreckers

As Jackson locked his phone and threw it to the other side of the bed, he lay down flat on his back – thoughts and fears whizzing through his mind like a bullet-train as he almost felt dirty for even reading and saying what he did. “She bought it, you did well” Jinyoung lay down beside him, propping himself up on his elbow as he studied Jackson’s frustrated and exhausted features, placing his hand on Jackson’s arm and comforting him in the form of soothing strokes on his skin. Jackson opened his eyes, pursing his lips to the side before gently nibbling on the bottom one – feeling the beginnings of a slight headache making itself at home in his brain.

“When we go, let’s sit at the back of the shop behind a newspaper. We have to stay incognito, right? Wait, Jinyoung…what if another woman there is wearing a red dress? What if we go up to her and she’s not Mia and then we’ll blow our cover and –“

“Woah, slow down there Sherlock Holmes!” Jinyoung giggled softly, seeing a look of displeasure and comical shock on Jacksons face as the both of them smiled once again to each other. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself. If that happens, we can just call her and whichever woman picks up her phone is Mia. Simple~” Jinyoung lightly tapped Jackson on his nose, worried about how much Jackson was letting this whole thing take a toll on him.

“You’ve definitely done this before. But…Sherlock Holmes? I’d say you’re more like….Basil the Great Mouse Detective!” Jackson erupted in a fit of giggles as Jinyoung looked at him blankly in return.

“Basil the…what? Mouse? What are you on about?” Jinyoung let a smile creep on his face as Jackson gave him a look of sheer disbelief. “The Disney movie? About the mouse who…ugh never mind” Jackson laughed once more, the two of them almost completely forgetting about the troubles that had plagued them so viciously since finding out about Jaebum’s infidelity.

“Can I ask you a serious question though?” Jinyoung rolled on to his stomach beside Jackson, clearing his throat as Jackson looked to him, nodding in turn. “You’re doing this because you’re (Y/N)’s best friend, right?”

Jackson’s smile faded ever so slightly as he sat up a little, knitting his eyebrows together. “What do you mean by that? Of –“ but before he could say another word, both of them heard footsteps approaching the bedroom – the door then swinging open, revealing BamBam on the other side as both Jackson and Jinyoung scrambled up from their comfy positions on the bed; BamBam flopping down beside them and letting out an exasperated sigh of relief.

“Oh my god the traffic was an absolute nightmare. It took me an hour and a half in a taxi - just to get from the hospital back to the dorms!” BamBam whined into the bed sheets as Jackson consoled him, patting him lovingly on his back.

“Aww, poor BamBam – I have no sympathy for you~” Jinyoung cooed sarcastically as he heard BamBam groaning at his savage remark.

“You just came back from the hospital? How was (Y/N)?” Jackson asked as BamBam rolled over and sat up, rubbing his cold nose from the chilly air outside in attempt to warm it up.

“Yeah, I went shopping and then I called in with some flowers for her on the way back. We were playing a game of cards and then Jaebum hyung came in so I left shortly after.” BamBam replied nonchalantly, not even noticing the looks on Jinyoung and Jacksons faces at the thought of Jaebum showing up unannounced to your room.

“Jaebum was there? Was he still there when you left?” Jackson tried his best to keep a cool disposition.

“Yeah~ (Y/N) said she sent him a text to ask him to visit her. Isn’t it so good that they’re talking again? It feels like things are slowly going back to the way they were before all this happened – back to when they were so happy and in love. You know, even if (Y/N) doesn’t fully recover all of her memories, I think that she’ll fall in love with him all over again. It’s like a romance drama, right?!” BamBam chuckled as he looked to his older friends, seeing what he assumed were returned smiles.

“Yeah…” Jinyoung said to fill the awkward silence. Jackson pulled his lips into a tight smile before grabbing his phone and pulling himself up off the bed, taking a jacket from a hanger and quickly shoving on over his shoulders.

“Where you going?” BamBam sat up – Jinyoung knowing exactly the answer to that question.

“Oh~ I promised (Y/N) I’d call round before visiting hours ended. Gonna grab her some jelly sweets and head on over to the hospital” he mumbled as he stuffed his wallet into the back pocket of his jeans, nodding at Jinyoung who nodded at him in turn as if to say “Good idea.”

“Jaebum hyung brought her favourite jelly sweets with him too! (Y/N) gave me one before I left, they’re so good~” Jackson chuckled sarcastically at the innocence of BamBam who had no idea what was going on at all.

“Did he now…” Jackson whispered to himself. “Right, see you guys later. Want me to bring you guys anything back?” he asked, standing halfway between the door and the hallway as both boys shook their heads at his request. “Alright, laters” he said abruptly as he took long strides towards the front door – a slight heat forming on the tops of his shoulder blades as he got more defensive with each second that passed. “Of course he would bring her favourite thing to eat. But I wonder if he truly knows what she loves these days?” he thought to himself as he bounded down the steps outside the dorm in the direction of the convenience store, before deciding it would be a better idea to make his way on foot to the hospital in the midst of rush-hour traffic in Seoul.

“Are you serious?!” you yelped at Jaebum as he updated you on one of your favourite dramas you had been watching and never got to finish due to your accident.

“100% - I couldn’t believe it either…I was literally screaming at my laptop, how could they kill off the main character like that?” he squealed back at you from your bedside, the both of you fully engaged in conversation with your bodies close together; not touching however, as you didn’t want a repeat of the high pitched nose throwing you off balance once again from his touch. Even though you couldn’t recall a single thing about him, being in Jaebums’ company felt good. You had to admit – as soon as you sent him the text asking him to come round to see you, you felt a tiny bit of nervousness and regret. But upon him walking in to your room and smiling at you as if you were his sun, his moon and all of his stars; you felt instantly like you were at home in your apartment, wrapped up in comfort and relaxation as the vibe between you both was nothing less than what you would have imagined it would be between two people who had known each other all their lives.

“I’m assuming we used to watch a lot of movies and stuff together then?” you asked, taking a sip of the apple juice Jaebum had also brought you before popping another jelly baby into your mouth.

“Mmhm~ When we didn’t feel like going out at 2am for a date, we sat in every Saturday night and binge watched shows until we fell asleep.” Jaebum smiled to himself, knowing that more often than not – the TV shows were forgotten about once both he and you got your hands all over each other. As he watched you prop yourself up slightly in your hospital bed, he thought back to one specific time he carried you around his waist, mid-kiss, squeezing the soft skin of your behind as you gripped his shoulders while he moved you into your bedroom, laying you down on your back before deciding whether the mood was one of passionate love making or a little more of a rough rendezvous on top of the sheets. As you continued talking about the drama, Jaebum also thought about how in the recent months leading up to the accident, he was rarely at your apartment to enjoy those types of moments he missed with all his heart, as his blameworthy actions took place in the form of another woman moaning his name. Jaebum had battled back and forth with himself – wondering if he should ever really tell you what happened; finally settling on telling you if you ever remembered him at all.

“What’s gotten you so lost in thought, hm?” you give him a smirk as you tilted your head at him delicately – his eyes swimming with the apparent ghosts of his past, before both of you heard a knock at the door. Jaebum looked down at his watch, wondering why a nurse would be coming in during visiting hours before looking up at your face that donned a similar expression to his.

“Hey lil lady~” you heard a voice you could never mistake as the door opened to reveal Jackson, walking straight over to you and putting one of his arms around your frame – pulling you into a tight hug.

“Jackson! I didn’t think you’d come tonight ‘cos it’s so late!” you giggled into his jacket before he pulled back, smiling warmly at you as he pinched your cheek. “Hey now – I’ve been coming to see you every night for the past almost seven months. Don’t lose faith in me yet~ Oh – hey JB!” Jackson just then acknowledged Jaebums’ existence in the room at Jaebum let his lips fall into a flat line on his face, nodding at Jacksons’ statement as he noticed the immediate change in your demeanour as soon as Jackson entered the room.

“I brought your favourite, ta-dah! – jelly babies!” Jackson said in a sing-song voice as he took a bag out from behind his back, before reaching into it to produce the exact same brand that Jaebum had brought you. Jaebum flinched, furrowing his eyebrows together as he watched Jackson sit the jelly sweets down on the table in front of you.

“Aww thank you so much! Wow, I’m really getting spoiled today. Jaebum also got me jelly babies!” you looked to Jaebum who was now smiling back between both you and Jackson; a feeling of having a preordained win in his court.

“Hmm…did he possibly bring you this as well?” Jackson reached back into the store bag to take out a huge tub of Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream that he knew you could never resist. Your eyes widened like saucers as you let out a very quiet, high pitched squeal as Jackson sat the tub next to the jelly sweets on the table. Jaebums’ mouth fell slightly agape as he observed the way Jackson was looking at you – as if you were the most important person in his life with the way he never took his eyes or attention off you for one second. “What the fuck is this guy doing….” he thought as the next thing he saw was Jackson sitting right down beside you on your bed, making himself nice and cosy next to you.

“Jackson! Ugh…you have to stop buying me all this ice cream…I’m gonna get fat!” you joked, patting your tummy as Jackson took this opportunity to place his hands on your hips and squeeze you a little – igniting such rage inside Jaebum that he almost shot out of the chair and hit the ceiling in anger.

“I told you before; we have to get your cute little love handles back! Isn’t that right, JB? I can almost feel them~ Where are they, huh? Here?! OH! I found them!” he then proceeded to lightly tickle you, eliciting small and delighted giggles from your lips that caused Jaebum’s chest to heave; his breathing extremely sporadic as he felt jealousy in all forms rise within him. With the way you were both behaving right in front of him, Jaebum could have sworn that if he didn’t know better, it would appear that the both of you were madly in love with each other.

“Oh stop it, you! Leave my love handles alone. They’ll come back eventually” you shrugged him off, sensing Jaebum scowling to your left. “Even though I can’t remember, this guy is my boyfriend. I must look like a total asshole right now…” you winced as Jackson stood back on his feet, still laughing along with you before taking a spoon out of the bag and sitting it down beside you.

“Sorry I couldn’t stay and chat for longer. I promise I’ll be here earlier tomorrow, okay? Make sure to eat some of that tonight and get one of the nurses to put it in the freezer when you’re done. We don’t want it all to melt right?” he smiled at you once more as all three of you heard the bell sounding out that signified the end of visiting hours. Jaebum was the first one to move, taking to his feet before looking over at you. You felt incredible guilt flood within you from the look on his face, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that he was obviously upset over the closeness of you and Jackson when he couldn’t even touch you himself.

“Thanks for coming today Jaebum. II really, really loved having you here…promise you’ll come back when you can? Okay?” you tried to redeem yourself as you raised your eyebrows at him with hope in your voice. Jaebum was angry – furious at the situation, but he couldn’t help let himself become soft over your request for him to come and see you again as he stood at the bottom of your bed; wanting to be as far away as he possibly could from Jackson.

“Of course I will, (Y/N). I promise.” he smiled, his top lip completely disappearing while he zipped his leather jacket up – Jackson sneaking glances at him out of the corner of his eye, enjoying every moment of Jaebums’ frustration. “Get some rest okay? Don’t eat too much ice-cream before bed or else you’ll get tummy pains again. Many a night I had to sit up and rub your belly for you after we both ate too much” his statement was meant to be double ended – just to remind Jackson that you were his girlfriend.

“Goodnight (Y/N), sleep well – sweet dreams” Jackson whispered to you as he leaned in for a hug once more, his lips brushing the side of your cheek as you felt Jaebums’ hot glare on the both of you – wanting the world to swallow you up whole. “God damn it” you thought, before waving goodbye to the both of them, watching them as they exited the room, leaving you alone and feeling terrible - with the two bags of jelly babies and ice-cream.

No sooner had Jaebum and Jackson stepped out of your room and began walking down the corridor, Jackson felt Jaebum’s hand pull him back slightly by his shoulder, turning him around to face him. Jaebum looked like he was about to blow a fuse – while Jackson made it his mission to stay as cool as a cucumber.

“What the hell was that Jackson?” Jaebum seethed; his eyes hot and piercing right through Jacksons as both the boys began a staring match with each other.

“What was what?” Jackson’s voice was innocent and calm as he observed the obvious rage bubbling inside his leader.

“Dude, do I need to spell it out for you? You were being overly touchy and close with (Y/N) in there…you know I can’t do that yet because of her memory…it’s like you’re intentionally trying to fucking piss me off.” Jaebums’ chest rose and fell to accommodate his laboured breathing as Jackson tested his best award winning acting skills in response.

“Was I? Huh, I don’t think I was to be honest. I mean, I’m no more touchy with her than I have been since she woke up. Why? Did it annoy you?” Jackson couldn’t help his voice take on a form of sarcasm as he found himself slightly enjoying Jaebum’s forehead vein starting to protrude.

Jaebum clicked his tongue behind his teeth, before taking Jackson by complete surprise and ramming him up against the corridor wall – his fist balled in Jacksons shirt as Jaebum brought his face right into Jacksons, glaring at him like a feral animal. “She’s my girlfriend, what the fuck are you trying to do? Are you in love with her or something? ‘Cos that’s sure what it looked like from where I was sitting” Jaebum spoke quietly but his voice was hateful all the same as Jackson tried to refrain from locking horns with Jaebum right then and there. Jaebum was strong, but Jackson knew that if it came down to it – he could overpower Jaebum easily.

“I know she’s your girlfriend. I haven’t forgotten that fact. I’m not trying to do anything, Jaebum. I love her – as my best friend. As do all the other boys. None of us have forgotten that she’s your girlfriend. I’m acting no differently than before…why? Something on your mind? You seem tense, maybe you should go for a nap or something?” Jackson stared right back into Jaebums’ gaze as Jaebum desperately tried to hold on to his sanity; in fear that he would actually strike his friend.

“What do you mean ‘something on my mind’? And what do you mean you haven’t forgotten that she’s my girlfriend? What’s with the sarcastic tone? What’s with all the double meanings? Why are you acting like this?” Jaebum let question after question fall from his mouth as Jackson successfully held back a smirk – one that he knew if he let slip, Jaebum’s fist would connect with his face. “You never answered my questions – why should I answer yours?” Jackson thought, as Jaebum started analysing Jacksons’ entire existence and motives up until this point – remembering how he was always pestering him about where he was the night of your accident, his sly looks and smug tone of voice that he didn’t notice before, until now.

“Uhm…excuse me, is there a problem here? Do I need to call security?”

Jaebum immediately let Jackson go, stepping back from him upon hearing the voice of the ward nurse before storming off in the direction of the stairwell, not even bothering to address her or Jackson as he knew he had to get out as quick as possible before he exploded. “Jackson’s been acting so sly lately and I didn’t even notice it. Why? What reason would he have? He can’t know about the cheating – he would have said something by now. What’s going on? Is he trying to steal (Y/N) from me? Has he always been in love with her and now he’s using this as his opportunity?” such thoughts raced through Jaebums’ mind as he burst through the stairwell door and angrily walked down the steps. “I almost hit him. What are you doing Jaebum? Stay calm…you need to calm down” he talked himself back from a ledge in his mind as he replayed Jacksons words to him over and over again.

“I’m sorry nurse, that was really inappropriate and it won’t happen again. He’s just a little grouchy today, don’t mind him” Jackson apologised and bowed to the nurse – knowing that if Jinyoung was here, he would have completely lost his mind at Jackson egging Jaebum on like that; but he just couldn’t resist doing it.

“Okay – well, that’s okay. Please don’t start fights on my ward; I have enough to deal with without two testosterone filled men having it out with each other. Visiting hours are over, please make your way to the exit~” the nurse smiled at Jackson as he smiled back at her, apologising once more before turning around, smirking to himself as he thought, “Oh dear, Jaebum. You’re completely coming undone. It’s not long ‘till Friday…I hope you’re ready to face the skeletons in your closet…

…because I’m done with waiting.”

***

As planned, Jinyoung and Jackson made their way to Bek’s 24 Hour Coffee shop – arriving exactly 30 minutes in advance of 11:30pm so that they were there before Mia would show up. Not only to make sure they could see the faces of everyone coming in to gauge their surroundings, but also to rehearse and go over what they had previously planned to say to her as the nerves were now really starting to kick in– how to approach her and not freak her out; and how to ask the difficult questions they so desperately needed the answers to. Jinyoung could very clearly see the level of anxiety building inside Jackson – that much was apparent from his excessive fidgeting.

“So, how are you going to do this? Are you going to be upfront about it? Take a more aloof approach?” Jinyoung asked as he stirred his cafe latte, slowly and methodically.

“Well…I guess maybe the best idea would be to first tell her why we’re here and not Jaebum. To be honest, I was just going to wing it. I’ve been wrecking my head trying to think of all the right things I should do – but I’m afraid that setting a plan like that would do more harm than good. It’s best to just make a starting point and go from there.” Jackson rested his chin on top of his hand as he looked around him, being thankful that the coffee shop was all but empty at this time of the night.

“…what if she gets angry? What if she says something that…you don’t really want to hear?” Jinyoung – always knowing the most important questions to ask, turned his head towards Jackson to observe him deep in thought.

“I don’t even really want to see her at all. Because you know – it takes two to tango. Yeah, JB is an asshole but, what does that make Mia? They’re both in the wrong. But I gotta keep an open mind to gather my evidence. What about you? What’re you gonna’ ask her?” Jackson caught his gaze as one of the two other remaining customers existed through the cafe’s only entrance.

“I’m not going to be asking her anything. I may add on to something you say – but I’m mostly just here to support you, remember?” Jinyoung smiled at Jackson faintly as Jackson let out a heavy, frustrated sigh, all while he started to really think that this was all a huge mistake. He wanted to just get up and leave, go back to the dorm and confront Jaebum directly; but so many parts of him wanted to get Mia’s side of the story to compare and contrast it with the version that he was hell-bent on getting from Jaebum. For Jackson knew in his heart that there was no way that Jaebum would ever tell him the truth – unless he could confront him from a different angle.

The agonizing 30 minutes ticked their way down to 0, with the time now being exactly 11:30pm. While Jinyoung nervously fiddled with his fingers, Jackson felt like his dinner from earlier on was about to make a reappearance all over the table in front of them; before both of their heads shot up from the back of the cafe when they heard the entrance bell ring - as a woman, in a red dress entered the shop.

Jackson held his breath as he intently watched her from the safety of his distance, immediately comparing her looks to that of you – trying to note any similarities or differences.

“How did I know she’d be blonde?” Jinyoung muttered from the corner of his mouth as Jackson studied her every move. There was no doubt of course that she was beautiful; legs for days, blonde hair that bounced around her shoulders in flirtatious curls with obvious full lips that she certainly wasn’t born with. Her makeup was simple – topped off with a bold red-lipstick to compliment her Givenchy red dress as she took a seat at one of the tables, looking around the room, obviously in search of Jaebum. There was no doubt that Mia exuded an air of elegance and style from the top of her head, right down to her chic, black Louboutin heels that would catch anyone’s eye with their classic red soles underneath as she crossed her legs after sitting down.

“We ready?” Jackson whispered as he gathered his bag by his feet, his breathing erratic and his heart in his throat as he felt adrenaline course through his veins – terrified yet curious to approach her.

“It’s now or never.” Jinyoung replied as he stood up slowly from the table as to not draw too much attention to himself, before they both began walking over to Mia – who was now on her phone, obviously just about to text Jaebum and ask him where he was.

“Hello – excuse me, are you Mia?” Jackson asked – watching her raise her head and look between both him and Jinyoung, a look of slight confusion donning her entire face as she knitted her eyebrows together.

“Y-yes…aren’t you two…where’s Jaebum?” her voice took on a slightly worried tone. Jackson and Jinyoung had expected that she would know who they were as soon as she saw their faces – seeing as she knew Jaebum was obviously in GOT7 from her texts expressing her worry over what was plastered all over the media about his ‘family member’.

“Do you mind if we take a seat? We..we have something important to discuss with you. Don’t be afraid – it’s okay” Jinyoung leaned down slightly as he bowed his head to her – seeing her nod in return as she started to begin to think that something dreadful had ended up happening to Jaebum. Jackson and Jinyoung looked to each other, passing knowing glances between their eyes as they sat in the two seats opposite Mia.

“Since you know Jaebum, I’m sure you already know who we are?” Jackson asked straight away.

“Yeah…you’re Jackson and you’re Jinyoung” she looked at both of them individually as she said their names. “Has something happened to Jaebum? Did he send you here because something awful happened to him? Did…did something happen to his family member?” she widened her eyes as Jinyoung observed and took in her entire body language – being able to pick up on, not only was she nervous around them, but she seemed genuinely concerned about Jaebum, and his family.

“No, Jaebum and his family are fine so don’t worry about that at all” Jackson forced a friendly smile at her as he quickly licked his lips, feeling a lump forming in his throat. “Actually, Jaebum doesn’t know we’re here…look, I’m just going to be honest with you.” Jackson laid his hands on the table as Mia looked frantically between them both – putting two and two together and realising that the person she had thought she was texting was not Jaebum.

“We…we know that you had some sort of relationship with Jaebum. We found texts on his phone between you both and…I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’d just like to know more about the details of your relationship with him, if that’s okay with you?” Jackson spoke slowly and deliberately – while Mia felt like her world had just come crashing around her, feeling embarrassed at the fact someone else had read her words to Jaebum and was now asking her to explain them.

“I…I don’t really know what to say to be honest. Isn’t this a bit much? Couldn’t you have just asked Jaebum yourself?” her voice took a defensive tone as she folded her arms, more confused and taken aback than ever. Jinyoung picked up on her tone much quicker than Jackson did, as he leaned his elbows on the table to look Mia straight in her eyes.

“We have tried to ask Jaebum about you. But unfortunately…he doesn’t seem to be fond of telling the truth to anyone these days.”

Mia sat staring at Jinyoung, wondering just what in the hell was going on, and what he truly meant by his words while finding it even more difficult to formulate her own. “We promise we’ll explain everything to you, okay? So…can you just tell us what type of relationship you guys had? Please..” Jackson switched to turning on his puppy-dog charm as he gave her begging eyes. “It’s really important to us.”

Mia let out a long sigh, gently chewing on her bottom lip as she tried to locate the words to truly explain the extent of her relationship with Jaebum. She didn’t exactly feel comfortable speaking about her past relationships with anyone, but there was something about the way Jackson was looking at her, that told her there was a genuinely desperate need for him to know the truth – for what reason, she didn’t know. “Well, we weren’t ‘dating’ if that’s what you mean. It was more of a ‘friends with benefits’ type of relationship in the beginning.”

“In the beginning? When did it start?” Jackson asked.

“We met around 10 months ago at a venue I was doing a shoot for – I’m a fashion model for Vogue Korea and we just happened to start talking whilst waiting for the elevator. I believe he was also scheduled for a photo shoot that day too but I think it was cancelled or something, I honestly can’t remember. He seemed pretty down in the dumps, so I invited him for a coffee at the cafe we’re in now, and a few days later…well…you know.” She trailed off, feeling mortified at the thought of having to openly discuss her sex life with two strangers.

Jinyoung tilted his head apologetically at her, sensing her extreme diffidence about the topic. “So, that’s when your relationship escalated?”

“Right..” she chuckled slightly in a form of thanking Jinyoung for his tact. “And then from there on, we met several times a week at a few different hotels when both of us were free. That was it, really. I don’t see why it’s of any importance though. It was just…sex. There was no strings attached, there were never any feelings of romance between us – at all” she lowered her voice on the last word.

Jackson nodded slowly, but he could sense that this woman had possibly developed feelings for Jaebum – due to the amount of heartfelt texts she had sent during his hiatus; however, he didn’t want to pressure her any further on the matter – as she was not the one on trial. Deciding that it was best to be upfront with her to get the answers he needed, Jackson continued on – finally getting to the point. “Did Jaebum ever tell you he had a girlfriend?”

Mia chuckled in the form of a scoff as she looked at Jackson like he had completely lost all of his marbles – and then some. “Jaebum doesn’t have a girlfriend, well – at least not when we were sleeping together. He did tell me that he occasionally slept with another girl too but it was nothing more than casual, like our relationship. He said he wasn’t ready to fully commit himself to someone, and neither was I; so that’s why it worked so well. Look, I really don’t know why you can’t just –“

“But see, I’m afraid you’re wrong. Because Jaebum does have a girlfriend. One that he has been with for the past two years.” Jackson cut her off, not being able to listen to her speak of you as nothing more than a ‘casual’ relationship, implying that you were nothing more than just sex to Jaebum when he wanted it, which he knew was not the case at all – even now.

“W-what? What do you mean? No – I specifically asked him before I suggested meeting at the hotel if he had a girlfriend…there must be some sort of mistake.” she trailed off once again, remembering back to the time she was referring to; how Jaebum had laughed in an attempt to stall his answer. “Was he lying to me?” she asked herself over and over.

“Mia…what Jackson is telling you is the truth. There’s no mistake. Jaebum…Jaebum has been in a relationship with a girl who both Jackson and I consider to be one of our closest friends. We have no reason to lie to you.” Jinyoung spoke seriously but softly, both he and Jackson now fully realising that Mia had absolutely no idea of your existence.

Mia sat with her mouth wide open, in a state of complete shock and confusion as she blinked over and over before looking back at Jackson. “Are you fucking serious? He…he has a girlfriend?” Jackson nodded at her slowly before Mia leaned back in her chair, her breath blowing out of her mouth like a steam train. “What a fucking ass-hat” she cursed him over and over, unable to believe that she had fallen victim to yet another man in her life’s lies.

“I suppose his girlfriend found out then? Was the whole media thing a cover up?” she asked, addressing them both.

Jinyoung looked to Jackson, before Jackson decided that it was best not to tell the whole truth of your situation. “Yes and no. We think that she knew about him cheating…but, she was in a road traffic accident on the 28th of April earlier this year and…well, she was really ill and it caused her to lose some of her memories – so we couldn’t ask her because she wouldn’t have known”

“Oh my god, is she okay? Was it serious?” Mia immediately asked, her eyes widening to their full capacity as Jackson assured her that you were fine now. “This girl is completely innocent – she doesn’t even know (Y/N) and she’s worried about her. He has played them both…” Jinyoung made mental notes about her character the entire time as he continued to listen to their conversation.

“Wait – you said her accident was the 28th of April?” Mia snapped her fingers as she sat up straight in her chair. “That…that day was the last day I ever had contact with Jaebum…it all makes sense now. We were at a bar on Grosvenor Lane before we went to the hotel above and –“

“Wait, what did you just say?” Jinyoung piped up suddenly, both him and Jackson replaying the name of the street in their heads.

“…The last time I ever spoke to Jaebum was when I met him at a bar on Grosvenor Lane…We arrived at the bar around 8pm – and after we had a meal and a few drinks, we went up to the hotel. Jaebum left like he usually did sometime between 1am and 2am.”

Jackson felt like this heart was about to burst right out of his chest in a fit of rage as he knew Jinyoung was thinking the same thing. “That’s the street that (Y/N) ran out into the middle of the road on. She knew, she fucking knew the entire time what was happening…” The scene was ripping through both of the boy’s heads like hurricane. “They met at 8pm, (Y/N)’s accident was at around 8:30pm – the nurse rang me around 9:30pm, 30 minutes after her hospitalisation; and for four hours I was calling Jaebum like crazy…so that’s where you were…you bastard.” Jackson seethed inside himself. Jinyoung recalled having seen the bar in question when he went to pick up your car from the parking lot as it had outstayed its welcome in the form of a fine being sent to your address to get it unclamped; 2 days after your accident. He remembered thinking that the bar was slightly gaudy and grubby looking – needing a severe exterior facelift.

“Ah…I see. And, you say you haven’t talked to him since?” Jackson tried his best to hide his emotions, wanting to get as much information out of Mia as possible to use as ammo for when he would confront Jaebum.

“Yup. He never replied to any of my texts, never answered any of my calls – and eventually, he ended up turning his phone off. At the time, I assumed it was because of his family member…but now that I know the truth…oh my god, I actually feel sick right now.” Mia shook her head in disgust at the thought of herself sleeping with a man who was already spoken for.

“Look – I know what you guys probably think of me. You probably think I’m just some cheap whore who sleeps with any guy…but I really didn’t know that Jaebum was in a very serious committed relationship. I’ll be honest with you boys – I’ve been cheated on. I know what it feels like, the hurt, the pain, the betrayal…” she paused, her eyes glistening over from her apparent painful memories, “…I would never knowingly put another woman through what I suffered. Never in a million years. I would rather die than have someone feel the way I felt.”

Jinyoung and Jackson watched Mia intently, as she continued to tell them the story about how she was in a long term relationship with a man who cheated on her countless times. “My friends knew the entire time – but did they tell me?” she laughed sarcastically, “Apparently, they thought it would ‘hurt me less’ if I didn’t know. But, do you know what the biggest hurt was? My friends couldn’t be honest with me. That hurt me as much as his infidelity.” Her voice wavered slightly as she successfully managed to hold back her tears. Both Jinyoung and Jackson’s eyes widened in surprise at her distressing words – almost finding themselves feeling incredibly sorry for her.

“Does this girl know that Jaebum was cheating on her?” Mia asked after taking a few deep breaths to compose herself.

“No.” Jackson replied almost immediately, Jinyoung looking between Jackson and Mia as she leaned in closely to them both – her eyes darting from one to the other.

“Well, let me tell you something” she took a breath, Jinyoung and Jackson both holding theirs in anticipation, “If you think anything of this girl – which I know you obviously do…you will make sure she finds out about this. You have to tell her. Because, while the truth will hurt her…you not telling her is even more of an insult than Jaebum cheating on her. Trust me – I’ve been exactly where she is.” Small tears filled Mia’s eyes as she leaned back slowly – both boys now having formed lumps in their throats from her words as they looked at each other from the corners of their eyes, knowing that every single word Mia had just said was gospel.

“Mia…we didn’t mean to cause you so much distress. All we wanted to do was find out the truth” Jinyoung spoke softly in an attempt to console her, as she pulled out a tissue to blotch her cheeks clean of her fresh tears.

“I’m so sorry for upsetting you Mia, that really wasn’t our intention at all.” Jackson looked to her with such pity in his eyes as she sniffled and let out a dry chuckle, smiling at him and clearing her throat.

“It’s not you who has upset me. I just…feel so stupid and used by Jaebum. But, I guess that now – I can move on, and so can your friend.”

A few moments of silence sat in the space between all three of them, before Mia glanced down at her dainty watch clasped around her slender wrist. “Look, is there anything else you guys would like to ask me? Because..if there’s nothing else, then I think I’ll be on my way home to burn this dress in my back garden” she let out a genuine laugh, eliciting similar sounds from Jinyoung and Jackson’s lips as the three of them smiled at each other in agreement.

“So…I take it you won’t be contacting Jaebum in the future?” Jinyoung asked, just as a bill of insurance.

“Contact him?” she breathily chuckled whilst raising one eyebrow. “Jinyoung, I wouldn’t piss on Jaebum if he was on fire.” Jackson wanted to burst into a roaring fit of laughter at her statement, but thought it would be slightly inappropriate and insensitive to her emotions – alas, a slight chuckle did escape both Jinyoung and Jackson’s lips while Mia let out a hearty laugh in turn.

“I’m sorry if that sounds crass, but that’s honestly just how I feel at the moment.” She continued to chuckle as she placed her phone back in her clutch bag, readjusting her black shawl over her shoulders as she took to her feet to signify her time to leave.

“Thank you so much for being so honest with us. You’ve no idea how much we appreciate this. Really…” Jackson stood up to face her, holding his hand out to shake hers from across the table. “And, we’re sorry for being so deceptive with our texts to…lure you here” Jackson hung his head in shame a little as Mia threw her head back in laughter.

“You guys…I swear, if idol life ever gets too much, you should both go into detective work. You boys have the detection skills of a suspicious woman – and that’s a compliment by the way” all three of them laughed in turn as Jinyoung shook her hand after Jackson.

“I really hope you friend’s health improves. Look after her, because when she finds out – she will fall, hard. And you guys need to be there to pick her up and carry her forward. I wish I could have had someone like you both to look out for me when it happened to me. Your friend is a very lucky girl. I almost envy her.” She smiled sweetly at them.

“Oh I will. She’s…she’s very precious to me.” Jackson mumbled softly as Jinyoung noted his curious choice of the words ‘I’ and ‘me’ instead of ‘we’ and ‘us’.

“Let’s…let’s not meet again” Mia smiled at them while bowing her head politely, before turning on her heel and walking out of the coffee shop for what would be the very last time.

Jinyoung and Jackson let out a sigh mixed with relief and satisfaction as they slumped back down into the chairs, feeling like they had just won what felt like World War III, but they both knew that the battle wasn’t over yet.

“You know, she’s actually a nice person. Did you get that vibe from her?” Jackson turned to face Jinyoung as he noted the time on the clock was now 3am, not believing that they had sat in the coffee shop for over 4 hours talking with Mia.

Jinyoung licked his lips tentatively as he nodded back at Jackson, “Yeah, she really did seem very genuine. I believe she’s telling us the truth.” Jackson agreed with him wholeheartedly as Jinyoung collected his thoughts carefully. “So…what do we do now?”

Jackson looked him straight in the eye, before taking out his phone from his pocket to show him that all this time when his phone had been on do not disturb mode; Jaebum had been ringing him like an absolute lunatic over and over. “Now, we turn full circle. Let’s take our sweet time walking back to the dorm. Because as soon as we get in, I’m going to get Jaebum’s version of the story – whether he likes it or not.”