#not sorry im like this. i own it. hashtag feminism

[luciality]

i need to beat her up so bad i need her crying pls pls pls maddie pls ily this is how i show my love

[lorillee]

SO. LETS TALK KIWAMI 2

definitely my least favorite entry so far but ive only played 0 and k1&2 so remains to be seen if this will change.

like ok to be honest the actual biggest issue i have here is the romance subplot. but we'll get into it in a minute.

actually let me just take this opportunity to talk about my thoughts and feelings on sayama

as a character i lean on the positive side of neutral - im not like crazy about her but i do like her. honestly the biggest issue is that her involvement in the story is largely overshadowed by the dreadful looming romantic subplot she has going on with kiryu which automatically pisses me off so its kind of a struggle . but this is neither here nor there. well it is actually kind of here but whatever

^so like again its really on the writing of the story and her portrayal as opposed to her as a character. an additional complaint i have with this is a pretty classic attempt at feminism blunder where the story is trying to tell you that this female character is super hashtag epic and badass because she climbed her way through the male dominated ranks and has all these accomplishments yada yada yada But when it actually comes time to do anything on screen shes basiaclly always getting slapped around and kiryu has to descend from heaven to act as her savior and bodyguard and its like ok sorry but this is stupid. Cant she do her job on her own

like the story wants to say theyre on some sort of an equal footing but in actuality this is not super well supported by Well the events taking place on screen. like people tell her that its not her place to be in the police or be involved in yakuza affairs because shes a woman and then theyre justified for it and its kind of unclear to me whether this is what the story wants to say or if its what the story is accidentally saying. but it annoys me

ok well since we're on the topic of things that irritated me about the handling of sayama Lets Talk About Romance.

THE ROMANCE PLOT WAS STUPID? AND IT SUCKED?

but seriously it was just bad. like i know i made that post but it literally did not add anything to the story. there was literally not a single thing gained or improved or actaully important that happened as a result of this stupid romance plot. like its like whoever was in charge of this script was like Wait this cop lady..... Well....... Shes a lady................. And you know what that means 😏 . or something equally idiotic.

and so it kind of really annoys me that half of sayama's plot gets co-opted by the setup and deeply poor execution of this dumb romance that only goes to take the focus away from the actually compelling and interesting part of her character. like what was the point of this genuinely speaking. AND THEY DONT EVEN HAVE CHEMISTRY?????????

like there is legitimately not a single thing on planet earth that even begins to interest or compel me about kiryu and sayama as a couple, and frankly not all that much as a purely platonic duo. WHO GAFFFFFFFF

but whatever. actually it honestly makes me annoyed that we spent so much time attempting to develop this relationship and how insanely uncompelled i am by it like we got probably 4 or 5 minutes of interaction between ryuji and sayama and that was 100000000% more interesting than anything kiryu and sayama could possibly even hope to bring to the table after interacting for the vast majority of this game.

WHATEVER! anyways i didnt actually gaf about ryuji until like those 4 or 5 minutes he spent interacting with sayama but i have to say i am kind of invested now. COULDNT WE HAVE SPENT ALL THAT TIME ON DEVELOPING MISERY SIBLINGS INSTEAD???? TCH!

ok whatever. anwyays going back to the usual complaints wrt romance its insane how romantic relationships are aaaaaaalways placed in importance above all else like the scene at the end where theyre like "LOLLLLL guess we kind of screwed haruka over" when they think theyre gonna be blown up by the bomb PISSED ME OFF SO BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD LIKE WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. I HATE EVERYTHING!??!?!?!?!?????????????????!?!?! Like she literally doesnt have anything or anybody else in this world and ur telling me u were ready to get blown up by a bomb so u could sit there and make out with this lady you met like 3 days ago 😑 <- techinically he was like dying on the floor anyways but like the fact they were so flippant about it pisses me off bad like I HATE ROMANCEEEEEE

WHATEVERRRRRR WHATEVER WHATEVER.

anyways love the continued exploration of kazama's deeply checkered moral compass. who knows whats going on there and i hope it stays that way

i hope majima construction finished kamurocho hills. but u also KNOWWWWWWW they broke every single regulation in the books and the entire thing has to get pulled down like a week after its completed

majima was actually so good this game im crazy about him always and forever.

i mean you already know this if you scrolled my blog while i was posting but the majima side story made me want to start throwing bricks at people and blowing up buildings really really really insanely good "so it's our little secret, okay?" <- GOING TO HAUNT ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. CAN I KILL EVERYONE NOW I CANT DO THIS ANYMOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

if i think too hard abt 24 hr cinderalla im gonna do something diabolical.

ok lets get back on track ummmmmmmm honsetly overall plot (MINUS ROMANCE) was fine but the antagonist rug pulling was kind of needlessly extra like nobody gaf about that other guy whos name i dont even remember. WHO CARE? that being said it was also REALLY FUNNY so ill forgive it

anyways i think that about concludes my thoughts on this game but if i have more i will be sure to share

[mariantoina]

thoughts on t*sp

look. at first i told myself that i wasn’t gonna watch this show, and then the very next day it got leaked so i was like “you know what? im gonna watch it anyway!” and thats the worst decision that ive ever made in my life because this show was... bad. could it have been worse? definitely, given the fact that it was an emma frost show based on a philippa gregory book. but this was still terrible enough for me to type this post up, so here we go!

i can guarantee you that you’ll have a more fun time reading this post than you will watching TSP. this is under a read more because.. whew.. theres a lot.

THE CASTING

first and foremost: the actress playing KOA cannot act. she’s really pretty, granted, but her acting was genuinely terrible. like.. i cringed almost every time there was a scene terrible. not only was her spanish accent bad but she felt so.. stiff, i guess would be a good word, whenever she said something. and that didn’t do anything to help the fact that she has a bad case of ScarJo Fever™ (if you don’t know what that is: it’s when an actor/actress only makes the same three facial expressions) people need to stop hiring actresses and actors just because they’re attractive and actually make sure that they can act. at this point, i am Begging!

the actor playing harry was actually good though, at least in my opinion. he did his best with what he was given and i really admire that! you can tell that he was putting a lot of effort into it, even though the way that they wrote him was really out of character for that period of his life (see: this post)

h7′s actor was good in the scenes that he was in, but the way that they treated h7 was so.. weird? they didn’t make him as creepy as i thought that they were going to when i first found out they were making an adaptation of TCP, but there was still this lowkey creepy vibe that he had going on.. i honestly dont know how to explain it, but it was there. also he slapped the shit out of harry in a scene??? that was messy as HELL

the actress for margaret beaufort was good, but there were some scenes that just had me like.. oh? on god? (most notably the death scene, but i’ll get into that hot mess later) you could tell that she was trying hard, even if they made MB’s character arc terrible.

the actors that played lina and her love interest were amazing, though. they worked with what they had and i really liked what they did with them even though the writing was shit. the scene with their wedding was adorable and really well acted!

angus imrie (arthur) was good, too! but the wig that they gave him? atrocious. i’m going to see it in my nightmares. georgie henley was really good in the scenes that we saw her in as meg tudor, but most of the scenes she was in weren’t that good and that’s wack :’)

i don’t know the name of the actress that played juana of castile in the episode she was in, but i liked her acting, too.. even though the writing for her was kind of cringy.

before i end this section i should let it be known that i was more attached to juana, meg and arthur in the few episodes they were in than i was to KOA during the entire show. it’s so tragic like. how are you going to cast a lead actress that cant act?? Hello???

before i get into the issues with the writing and creative direction i have with the show, i just wanna say: the pacing of the show was terrible and really, really difficult to follow. the entirety of the second episode, which followed from their KOA/arthur marriage to arthur’s death, probably had the worst pacing. it felt like only a few weeks had passed in the show’s time, when it was supposed to be what? six months? and there was so indication of a timeskip between episode 6 and episode 7, even though juana was still in england at the end of episode 6 and h7 died about 10 minutes into episode 7? it’s so tragic.

okay, moving on!

THE CREATIVE DIRECTION

look. i get that it’s a show and of course there’s going to be historical license but... GOD this show went above and beyond.

there’s so much i want to say here, but the most important one that i have an issue with is the shit that they did with lina’s character. erasing the fact that she was a slave owned by ferdinand and isabella and then later given to KOA was absolutely terrible. and then not only did they do that AND make her KOA’s most loyal lady-in-waiting, but they erased the fact that she was forced to convert to christianity, forced to stop using her birth name and instead having to use the name of her new owner in the name of #StrongFemaleFriendships. disgusting!

EF: lina is KOA’s most faithful servant and they have a strong female friendship!! hashtag woke!! hashtag feminism!! my black ass:

honestly it gets even worse because KOA and lina’s “central female friendship” was barely even there. lina had more scenes with rosa, one of KOA’s other ladies-in-waiting, than she did with KOA. not to mention that KOA was manipulative to lina and kept saying stuff like “you owe me service” or stuff along those lines? it was so shitty. lina sweetie im so sorry that this ugly ass bitch would even try you

the next big thing that i had a problem with was the fact that they aged up harry, when in reality he was about 11 years old when KOA first came to england. like, i can’t really go that much into it because even thinking about the fact that they aged him up to make him Arthur’s Hotter, All-Around-Better Brother™ when he was fucking 11 makes me kinda sick but. ughh it was terrible.

not to mention the fact that they villainized margaret beaufort because of course they did. apparently you cant be a middle aged woman without being villainized?? especially not in an emma frost show. but the way that they villainized her was so ugly. and the fact that they attributed shit like edmund dudley’s execution to her when it happened an entire year after she died? Hello????

the way that she just took over and declared herself regent when h7 was in mourning for elizabeth of york and kicked KOA out of the palace + the way she tried to threaten margaret pole & lina into revealing that KOA wasn’t a virgin.. shgkhhgsfhgkshjbjsjb that shit was so fucking messy its like they tried to make her a fusion of mother gothel from tangled and ursula from the little mermaid

the way that they made EoY dislike KOA was so weird? and the way that both her and margaret beaufort assaulted her by kissing and groping her respectively was weird and definitely uncalled for.

this is a minor one in the gist of some of the other things but why did they make EoY’s last daughter a stillborn child? someone correct me if i’m wrong, but didn’t she live for about a week before she died? but then again, i remember that she named their daughter after KOA, so they probably did that to avoid the fact because they made EoY hate her. messy

arthur’s wig counts as a creative decision right? well whoever gave him that wig needs to be fired. PERIOD

arthur’s wig:

me:

whoever did meg tudor’s costumes also needs to be fired tbfh they were so bad. what did she ever do to yall

THE WRITING

i guess that writing can go into the creative direction category as well, but there were so many problems with the writing that it deserves its own category

KOA was so terrible in this. between her manipulating harry and lina, and the fact that she kept defending the fact that isabella abused juana because “our mother was a queen, a warrior” was ugly! “tO bE qUeEn oF eNgLaNd iS mY dEsTiNy” girl if you don’t shut ya mouth catching these hands is gonna be your destiny

they also made KOA put all of her faith in the fact that she was related to queens? like, every time juana said she couldn’t do something because her husband + ferdinand are assholes, or every time isabella was brought up she kept being like “but you’re/she’s a queen!” it was irritating

all of the predictions about the great matter/KOA not being able to give harry a son were weird. i would have been fine if it had only been like.. one time, because sometimes foreshadowing can be good, but it was brought up every 5 seconds and at the most random times. like when EoY was literally dying in childbirth?? Hello????? god are you there??

AND THE FACT THAT EOY STRAIGHT UP WENT TO HELL AND SAW HER BROTHER GETTING EXECUTED THEN CAME BACK. HELLO??

then when margaret beaufort was about to die and she saw ghosts? and jasper tudor showed up to take her to hell i guess? honestly i didnt know what the fuck was going on but that shit was so fucking messy and wild. i have to laugh

also: i mentioned this earlier but all of those scenes where harry was ranting and raging.. EF really saw the name “henry viii” and floored it with that huh

they also dumbed harry down imho.. Wack!

juana seducing harry was a hot ass mess in its own right, but honestly? juana and harry had more chemistry in that one minute scene than KOA and harry had in the entire show

we were not even 10 minutes into the pilot and they were already trying to portray isabella as a #WokeFeministQueen. how, you might ask? why, by showing her leading a group of men to kill black muslims for their faith, of course! didn’t you know that being racist and islamophobic is hip and feminist when you’re a queen?

like i get that its from KOA’s point of view but in the opening monologue of the pilot they mentioned that isabella overthrew the moors like it was a #Feminist thing to do and not a part of her orchestrating massacres and contributing to genocide? @ EF: on GOD??

tbh? shocked that KKKristopher KKKolonizer wasn’t mentioned in a positive light based on how much they tried to glorify isabella. like what catholic monarchs stan was allowed to work on this show with EF and P. Gregory?? hello????

i’m totally fine with the whole plot point about katherine lying about her virginity, since we’ll probably never know the truth about whether or not she and arthur consummated their marriage, but it was poorly executed in both the writing and in CH’s acting. i could tell that she was lying and so did.. almost everyone, really.

the scene where they were about to.. i guess lynch lina’s love interest for “stealing” made me really uncomfortable. i dont even know how to explain it

h7′s death scene.... this is all i have to say about it

margaret beaufort ordering the execution of edmund dudley was shitty for a lot of reasons but honestly him screaming “fuck you all to hell” was hilarious

the ending scene of episode 7 where they were in the chapel and henry asked KOA if she was still a virgin was bad writing and CH’s acting made it even worse. cant even lie convincingly smh

margaret pole’s plotline was so confusing.. i barely knew wtf was going on with her the entire show? it all felt so rushed and forced. it was weird

EoY and h7 had some cute scenes together though. and that was like.. one of the shows only real redeeming qualities

that’s about it for this post about TSP! my overall rating for it is a 0.5/10. it was super shitty, but i liked arthur, juana and meg tudor so it gets a 0.5 instead of a plain 0. and apparently theres one episode left too.. DREADING it. anyways: emma frost absolutely failed in her goal to be like “its not all about anne boleyn!” because if anything this show made me think about how claire foy and natalie dormer were both robbed of awards so.. if reading this post gave you hives? go watch wolf hall or the tudors for their great performances!

thanks for reading! :)