#not sold on half-assed either I just can't think of a good word

[curiosityschild]

LITANY AGAINST THE FEAR OF OTHERS OPINIONS

Do it scared. Do it weird. Do it alone.

LITANY AGAINST PARALYZING PERFECTIONISM

Do it bad. Do it wrong. Do it half-assed.

LITANY AGAINST ?????

A third trio??? A trio of threes would be nice but I can't think of any more

[marauder-misprint]

'Can't have tea without biscuits'

part 1 part 2

Remus Lupin x reader

2.1k words

cw: fluff

As you stood in front of the mirror in your dorm, you decided nervous wasn’t a strong enough word for how you felt. Your friends didn’t help either. They had teased you all week about your date with Remus, mostly voicing how they didn’t understand how you got one. Sure, you’d been studying with him a lot and he’d sat with you at lunch a few times, but a date? It was a tad insulting, but if you were being honest with yourself, you understood where they were coming from. 

So, you stared at your reflection and debated if you were really good enough to go on a date with the Remus Lupin. Was your outfit good enough? Why had he asked you out, given all the girls who give him all the attention in the world? Were you going to mess it all up with being too soft spoken?

Your mind was spinning. Your heart was racing. Your hands were clammy. You felt like you couldn’t get enough air into your lungs. Panic. Nerves. Fears. 

Then you glanced at the clock and it all quadrupled. You were going to be late to meeting Remus if you didn’t leave your dorm like five minutes ago. You were going to be late. Lovely. 

You grabbed your purse and bolted out of your room. Your outfit, makeup and hair would have to do. There was no going back now, you thought as you descended the stairs to the Entrance Hall. Remus was waiting for you with Sirius, idling chatting until you came into view. Remus gave you an easy smile the moment he saw you.

“Thank Merlin, you’re here!” Sirius said, throwing his head back to shake his hair out. “Moony thought you were standing him up.”

“Sorry, got distracted,” you said, which wasn’t a complete lie. You were distracted by your worries about messing this up.

“Ah, no worries. Just glad you didn’t stand me up,” Remus said. “Shall we?”

He gestured to the door and you nodded. The two of you left Sirius behind. A comfortable quiet sat between you and Remus as you started the walk to Hogsmeade. 

“Did you really think I would stand you up?” you asked meekly. 

He chuckled. A glorious sound, in your opinion.

“Only a little. You had said yes in the library, but what if you changed your mind? Decided I was coming on too strong? I was about ready to start kicking the boys for making a fool of me and not letting me wait like I wanted to.” 

“Maybe I was just helping you get that extra wait,” you teased.

“That’s what it must’ve been then!” 

“So, what’s the plan?” 

“Figured we could start in Honeydukes? If you don’t mind, that is. I just never seem to have enough chocolate… I think Peter steals from my trunk.”

You laughed at his half-assed accusation of his friend.

“I mean, if I knew where my friends stored their sweets, I’d take a piece now and then.”

“No, no, you don’t understand. I think he steals daily. And more than one piece! There’s no way I go through that much chocolate in a week.”

“Maybe Sirius and James help him?”

Remus hummed. “Maybe… Maybe I need a better lock for my trunk. They can afford their own chocolate.” 

The rest of the walk was filled with easy conversation. Remus harped on the three boys and told you about their horrendous studying habits. You told him that would probably be okay if he forced them to join your study sessions every once in a while. Remus tried to ignore the way his heart leapt at that; your offer suggested that there would still be study sessions after today, a hint that you were confident that today would go well. 

Your nerves had more or less disappeared once you started walking with Remus. His presence when he was around just you was calming. It felt like every study session you’d had leading up to now. 

He held open the door to Honeydukes for you. Then you proceeded to walk up to every chocolate stand in the shop. You briefly stopped at other sweet stands, but by the time you reached the register to purchase your goodies, you both had varying amounts of essentially every chocolate product they sold. Remus reached to grab your chocolate to place on the counter next to his.

“I can afford my chocolate,” you protested weakly. 

You could. You certainly didn’t want Remus to think that you were mooching off of him. 

“I wasn’t insinuating that you couldn’t. But we’re on a date and I’d like to pay for you.”

“Oh,” you breathed and handed Remus your items to be purchased.

He gave you a warm smile in response before handing the man a galleon and a few sickles. 

“When I was complaining about Peter and them taking my chocolate, it was about them stealing. I have no problem when they take chocolate I’ve offered them. Like I’m offering to pay for everything you want today.”

Suddenly, you have a mischievous glint in your eye that Remus immediately recognized from seeing it so often in his friends’ eyes.

“So, if I said I wanted a hippogriff, you’d find a way to get it for me?” 

“An addendum then, anything you want within reason.”

You shared a laugh as you walked around the streets of Hogsmeade. Remus took your hand and led you to a shop you hadn’t been in before: Steeply & Sons’ Teashop. 

“Is here okay?” he asked once inside. 

It was a quaint little shop with nearly no other students inside. There were a few scattered tables with residents. It was nice and calm, not nearly as bustling as you expected the Three Broomsticks would be at this moment.

“Yeah,” you said with a smile. “This is nice.”

You picked a table as Remus grabbed a teapot and cups from the counter. A server nodded in acknowledgement of your arrival.

“I thought this would be better than Broomsticks. Less busy, less crowded. As good as butterbeer is, I figured you’d like this,” Remus explained as he poured tea into your cup.

You blushed at how well Remus knew you. You busied your hands with adding enough cream and sugar to make your tea how you liked it. When you didn’t respond, a brief wave of worry crossed Remus.

“It is okay, right?” he asked with a tinge of nervousness to his voice.

You looked up. “Oh, yes. This is lovely. It’s actually quite nice that I won’t have to yell for you to hear me.”

He immediately relaxed and poured his own cup. The server approached your table with menus. He gave a brief description of the day’s specials and desserts before leaving you to browse the menus. You don’t feel compelled to create meaningless conversation as you look at what the small shop has to offer. When the server returns, you both order small sandwiches and biscuits. 

“Can’t have tea without biscuits, now can we?” you laugh as the server walks away from the table.

“The most important part of having tea, if you ask me,” he replies.

“Have you been here before?” you asked before taking a sip of your tea. You hummed in appreciation of its delicate taste. 

“Been inside, yes. Sat down and actually had tea, no,” Remus said. “I think I popped in out of curiosity and then decided I’d rather have butterbeer with the boys. I do like it in here though, don’t get me wrong-”

“I could see you in here if you came by yourself, or with James, I suppose. But as soon as you have more than James with you, it wouldn’t feel right.”

“Ah, you get it!” Remus exclaimed with a bit of cheek. 

You paused a moment to look around the shop and its decorations.

“I like that it’s not too much, you know? I’ve heard Madam Puddifoot’s is overly frilly.” Your last word dripped with disgust, making Remus chuckle affectionately.

“I wasn’t sure if you were a pink bows and lace kind of girl. Good call on my part.” 

You nodded. The server returned with your food, and you thanked him. 

“I don’t think they have real food there either. God forbid I actually want lunch.” 

You took a bite of your sandwich and your face lit up. It was delicious. Maintaining the conversation no longer felt like a priority as you both ate. Remus seemed to share your assessment on the quality of food as he scarfed his meal down. 

Conversation returned when you returned to sipping your tea in between biscuits. 

“How horrible would it be if I asked what you thought of that Charms assessment Flitwick had us do? Is it bad to talk about it on our date?” Remus asked, topping off his cup. 

“Hmm, I think we can talk about whatever we want. And the assessment was something I could do in my sleep. I really thought Flitwick was above assigning busy work.”

Remus sighed contentedly. “I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that. I mean, Sirius and James, they rushed through it and left Peter to struggle with it. He really should’ve dropped Charms when he had the chance.”

“Maybe he needs it though. Certain careers require N.E.W.T. level Charms, you know.”

“He just had other strengths. Wish he picked a future that didn’t involve Charms,” Remus grumbled.

“Maybe he enjoys having you help him, hm?” you offered. “But speaking of careers, what’re you thinking?” 

“Professor. Or tutor. Something with teaching and helping people understand magic.”

You smile at him, leaning forward over the table slightly.

“You’ll be great at that. You already have experience with it,” you teased.

Remus returned your smile. “That I do. Honestly part of why I know that I’ll enjoy it as a career.”

“Which subject do you have in mind?”

“Defense against the dark arts. It’s just fascinating and useful, you know?” 

You nodded. 

“What about you? What career drew your fancy?” 

You told Remus about what you wanted to do for a job and where it might take you. Remus listened intently and asked questions about specific aspects and interest areas within your chosen career. He asked about the classes you were required to take in order to get where you wanted to be. 

Talking about your future made time fly by. Too soon it was time to go back to the castle. Remus again paid for your food and drink. You took the long way out of Hogsmeade, wandering down streets you didn’t need to and retracing your steps to lengthen the time you spent together. Somewhere along the way, your hands brushed up against each other. Neither you pulled your hands away, although you had matching blushes. Then you took the lead and grabbed onto his, intertwining your fingers. When you did, he gave your hand a squeeze before turning to give you a smile. It made your heart race as you continued down streets you had already walked down. 

You were completely at ease as you returned to Hogwarts. If anything, you were sad that your date with Remus was coming to an end.

“This was really nice, Remus,” you said as you entered the grounds.

“Nice enough that you’d consider doing it again sometime?” 

You gave his hand a squeeze. “Will you let me pay for you?”

“Maybe. Although I think it’s the gentlemanly thing for me to pay for the second date. Perhaps you can pay for the third?”

You laugh and give him a pointed look.

“Then you can pay for the fourth and I’ll take the fifth?”

“Oh, we’re making it to a fifth date?” he teased, unable to lessen his wide grin. “I’d say today was better than really nice then.”

“Shut up,” you said with a smile that mirrored his. “Just, as of right now, I’m hopeful.”

“Me too. But, I must warn you, I can’t promise that future dates won’t be interrupted by the boys. It took more than I’d like to admit to get them to stay at the castle today.”

“You kept those poor boys cooped up all day?” you asked playfully. “They’ll be bouncing off the walls when you get back!”

“That they will, but it’ll have been worth it.” 

Remus walked with you all the way to the entrance to your common room. 

“Good night, Remus. And thank you for today.”

“Good night,” he replied before pulling you into a hug.

You wrapped your arms around him and took a deep breath. You let his scent fill your senses for a moment. It was comforting and lovely. And then Remus placed a gentle kiss on top of your head. You froze, arms still around his torso. He held onto for a moment longer before releasing you. Once again, you were sporting matching blushes. He just gave you a sheepish smile before turning to return to his own common room. 

tags: @allformoony, @oursweetmoony, @moonyswifee

The promised part 3! Not me saying "it'll be a few days" and then taking two and a half weeks 😬 whoopsies, love y'all for being patient with me

[freakingoutthesquares]

Ten Years In A Jumbo-Collared Shirt Words: John Mulvey, Photographer: Peter Walsh Taken from the New Musical Express, June 1992 Transcription: Acrylic Afternoons

"Pulp is... being an anachronism of any kind... living in a dream world... being totally unrealistic... making contact with beings from other planets and snogging them... it's not being different for the sake of it - that's immature... it's all of these things and more - but most of all it's about you and us, and what we can get up to together - OK? - alright, here we go..." (Pulp propaganda)

Today, Pulp is... trying to be superstars in your hometown... organising party games for drunks... loving Des O'Connor and not having to say you're sorry... being fantastic... being mundane... being fantastic and mundane at the same time... dreaming of space-age Sheffield...

"Sheffield's full of half-assed visions of cities of the future that turn into a pile of rubbish," Russell Senior reflects, standing on the biggest traffic roundabout in Europe. "We grew up reading the local paper and seeing 'Sheffield, city of the future,' with a map of how it's going to be and pictures of everyone walking around in spacesuits, smiling. But we're the only ones who took it seriously..."

"When I was younger I definitely thought I'd live in space," says Jarvis Cocker ruefully. "But when you realise you're not going to, it colours your life; you can't think, 'It's alright if I'm signing on because I'll be on Mars soon', you have to try and get it down here." So what are you getting into at the moment? "Cooking. It's very good. Cooking for your friends is very therapeutic, and they always say it's nice, 'cos they're just pleased they didn't have to get out of their seats to help."

Pulp - singer Jarvis, guitarist/violinist Russell, Nick Banks (drums), Steve Mackey (bass) and Candida Doyle (Farfisa, Korg and Stylophone) - are sitting in a dressing room at the Sheffield Leadmill with a pointless prop - a large, silver, faintly sinister head - for company. It is a special day. In the afternoon, hundreds of balloons have been released to mark the debut of their new label, Gift, a perverse indie spin-off from local Techno-vendors Warp. Later, they will play a dizzily great set of twisted disco melodrama. For now, though, they have a long ten years - and extraordinarily unsuccessful career to explain.

"Music's the only thing that can keep you going," says Jarvis, reassuringly clichéd. "If you're not getting paid loads of money and not getting loads of girls sayin ' You're smashing', that's the only thing to fall back on. When I was at school I had specs and bad teeth and was a bit lanky, and so no girls were really interested, but I thought that if I was in a group they'd think I was good... So on that level I've failed miserably. But that's why all sad kids do it, innit? Standing on the stage is like wanking off in front of a mirror. People in bands are social misfits aren't they?"

Looking at Jarvis - still wearing specs, still lanky (I didn't check his teeth) - and the rest of Pulp clad in a hundred shades of brown, a bit of lamé and countless other '70s synthetic atrocities, it's hard not to conclude that they're proud to be social misfits. Russell, meanwhile, is musing on how a band who haven't released an album since 1985 have kept going. "A band that's been together for a decade and has never sold any records is either very, very crap indeed OR they've got something strong keeping them together. I can't make up my mind which of those two it is yet."

"It's about not being able to make it in the real world," reckons Jarvis, back on his misfit tack. "I haven't got a City & Guilds certificate or anything, I haven't got a skill." What about film work (he and Steve are fully trained and occasionally practising video-makers)? "Oh yeah, I have got that," he admits bashfully. "But that's why I went to college, 'cos you do see sad characters walking around who used to be in a band about five years ago, and they always look like a dog that's got lost."

Pulp are currently busier, in bigger demand, than ever before. There's a frantically groovy new single, 'OU', about someone woken up by the sound of his girlfriend leaving him and wondering whether to chase after her or stay in bed; plus there's an album recorded in 1989, 'Separations', finally set for release on their old label, Fire. Both are tense, funny, fizzily danceable and flamboyantly out of step with most of the world, let alone the music scene.

"I like the light entertainment, Des O' Connor feel more than the greasy 'I'm on Highway 66, man' feel," says arch-crooner Cocker. "It's something that's going to die out. You listen to radio 2 - well, I do anyway - and they play Matt Munro, Engelbert Humperdinck and stuff that doesn't really get made anymore. It's a bit clichéd, and that's why people think it's cheesy. But the reason why people performed in that way is 'cos it's quite effective; if you can break through the cheese barrier, you can make contact..."

And so they go on. About people who find their balloons will be treated to a night in with Pulp, to listen to sports themes and BBC Radiophonic Workshop records, and play Stereo Ker-Plunk. About how Choppers are better than Grifters, and how Russell once smashed up the Leadmill dressing room in a fit of pique, only to be caught the next morning sneaking in to replace the bulbs he'd broken.

The last I see of Jarvis, he's standing on the bar at the after-show party, trying to organise the drunken liggers to play musical statues for a can of beer, while 'Nevermind' stops and starts incongruously in the background. It is, like a knackered redcoat struggling to bring culture to barbarians, not a pretty sight. The last I see of Candida, she's leafing through the Leadmill's visitors' book. Amidst pages of revealing scrawls - Spiritualized's inscrutable squiggles, Sultans Of Ping FC's unfunny cartoons - Pulp are there again and again and again; strange, sardonic, not all there but always bloody there. Whoever said all good things must come to an end was a useless liar.

[blackraged]

I can't help but think about what the men's bathroom at the VP would look like early in the morning.

Like, think about it; a multitude of different personalities, clashing at the importance of their needs in hygiene.

Wouldn't that be fun to watch?

Those who take barely any to no time up in the bathroom: KAY/O, Omen and Cypher

I mean, it's pretty obvious why. KAY/O is a machine.

Omen is.....a ghost...in one way or another.

And Cypher, well, he is Cypher. He wouldn't risk being seen, not even for the sake of proper hygiene. It's not like they can smell his breath under his mask anyway. Otherwise, I would say he showers frequently with his mask on, but I don't think he waterboards himself willingly.

Agents who take a fairly decent amount of time up in the bathroom: Yoru, Chamber and Brimstone

Yoru takes 3 minute showers, so there is no problem with that. It's the fact that he stays almost half an hour in front of the mirror, fixing himself. He needs at least 3 cans of hairspray to get his hair stand up like an onion's end. He also plucks his eyebrows. (Sorry Yoru, but I ain't buying your eyebrow split.)

Chamber canonically drowns himself in expensive perfume and colognes. Dang, who would have thought? I'm pretty sure he waxes too, but only in his free time. Chamber is as smooth as a baby's butt, and he is weirdly proud of that.

Brimstone's an old dog. He takes a little bit longer to get ready, but he still manages to keep up with the younger ones. While I would like to say he shaves, I honestly do not think he does. He is past that age line, and he even only trims his beard maybe once or twice a month. Honestly though? Out of all the male agents, he smells the best. Like, you won't be smacked in the face by Dior Sauvage Eau de Toilette as you walk by. (Looking at you, Chamber) He just smells really nice.

The one who could be done within 10 minutes, but decides not to: Phoenix

He sings in the shower. I don't know what more you want me to say.

The ones who take fOREVER: Breach and Sova

Ship aside, I had to think a lot about these two. Like, A LOT. As someone, who has a long military line in the family, and also really fucking long hair, I had to sort all pros and cons for these two on why they would be either the first ones ready in the morning, or the last ones. Oh well...

Breach is a Viking. Most of you might know that back in the middle ages, Vikings took pretty good care of themselves hygiene wise, compared to everyone else at the time. So, I do have to say that, while Breach is the most homeless looking out of all Agents (Twitter's words, not mine. I'd marry his ass any time), he is definitely the cleanest in all of VP. Yeah, you heard me. That man smells nice, he takes showers regularly, he washes and brushes his hair, shaves, and keeps himself generally clean. As soon as he is done with his work out, or has returned from a mission, the first thing he does is hit the showers. He doesn't even use any expensive scented products. It's just soap and water, man. Also he puts his hair in a clean braid every day. (I've got really long hair, and let me tell you, even if I sold my soul, I could never keep my hair in a braid for more than 4 hours. Hair strands always manage to escape somehow and I end up looking like a feral witch.)

I strongly believe Sova shaves every morning. This is evident through his shadow beard. (You know, the grey shadow around his chin that comes from shaving) Just like Chamber, Sova has a military background, therefore spending enough time on getting ready in the morning wasn’t exactly an option. I genuinely think, that he can finish in 2 minutes or even less, and be battle ready in under 4. But this is where it got confusing, right, because Sova has long hair. And taking care, every morning, of said long hair, isn’t exactly easy. Even worse is, that the boy just puts a fucking clip in it and calls it a day. 

He is possibly one of the best, if not the best Agent at VP. But as a soldier AND marksman, do you really want your long hair dangling in front of you, blocking your vision?

Like, yeah sure, he takes good care of it, and if anyone were to smell or touch his hair, they’d feel heaven on earth because it is just that soft. Yet, I still think he should at least keep his hair better together.

I’m not saying he should have kept it in a braid instead, but, he should have kept it in a braid instead. (I love his long hair, and you could try to pry it from my cold dead hands, but substance over style, okay? Look at Breach, he got the memo) Other than that, Sova definitely sweats a bit more than the other Agents, so he uses a lot of deodorant. Also, big fan of face creams.

Bonus: All other Agents complain about Sova's and Breach's hair being on the ground and sink, and just... everywhere. Oh, the curse of luscious, strong, long hair.

Good day.

Them Ladies are next 👉👉

[robininthelabyrinth]

This one's gonna take two asks, I'm incapable of making it more succinct. In Accurate description NHS said "I’m taking you back with me to the Nie sect when all this is over. If your parents want you back, they can come ask nicely.” Could we get that AU? And the Jiangs HAVE to ask nicely, because with the war on the horizon they can't risk alienating the Nies, but they are so bad at it? NHS's half assed plan to poach JC gets more and more solid the longer he has to watch this train wreck.(1/2)

How hard can it be to love your own flesh and blood? Even NMJ has stopped admonishing him for wanting to poach another sect's heir. What a political nightmare that would be. But JC is so relaxed with NHS's birds? And keeping up longer and longer when training with da-ge? And smiling more? And JYL said, she's never seen him so loose in the shoulders? NHS can make this work. JFM and YZY never valued JC anyway 

Part 2 of Accurate Description (necessary to read that first)

-

“Absolutely not,” was the first thing Nie Huaisang’s brother said when Nie Huaisang first raised the idea of kidnapping Jiang Cheng for his own good. “Absolutely fucking not.”

“Nie sect principle three,” Nie Huaisang said.

“Well, shit,” his brother said.

This was because Nie Huaisang’s brother is the best.

“I’ve gotten other people involved in this,” Nie Huaisang added helpfully.

“You’d better have,” his brother said. “I am not dealing with the fallout from this on my own.”

Nie Huaisang nodded happily. That was about what he’d expected.

A few moments later, his brother asked, “Why are we kidnapping him, anyway?”

-

“This is temporary,” Nie Mingjue said gruffly.

“Very temporary,” Jiang Cheng agreed, sounding stiff and awkward. “I don’t even know why I’m here.”

“You know exactly why you’re here,” Nie Huaisang objected. “I told you why!”

Jiang Cheng gave him a dirty look.

“Also I have no idea how da-ge got you here, but you’re staying,” Nie Huaisang said firmly. “For as long as it takes for your parents to show that they deserve you returning to them. You’re not getting a choice.”

Jiang Cheng’s face was turning red.

“That’s not the deal, Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue interjected. “Jiang Wanyin can return home at any time he wishes.”

Nie Huaisang glared, but his brother ignored him.

“He can also stay as long as he wishes,” he said, and this time it was Jiang Cheng’s turn to stare. “If you want others to respect him, you must first pay him the respect he deserves yourself. Now, I have to go, but Jiang Wanyin – know that our home is always open to you.”

He put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it, then ruffled Nie Huaisang’s hair, and left.

Jiang Cheng looked dazed.

Nie Huaisang smirked.

“…you said something about him giving out hugs?”

“Oh yeah,” Nie Huaisang said. “Great hugs.”

-

“I can’t believe you would betray me like this,” Nie Huaisang whined. “And after all I’ve done for you!”

“A little training’s not going to kill you,” Jiang Cheng said. “Come on already.”

“My brother put you up to this, didn’t he? You sold me out for a hug.”

“I sold you out for the opportunity to go on a proper night-hunt,” Jiang Cheng said. “Also, he said he was proud of the progress I’ve been making on my cultivation and sword training since I got here. And gave me a hug.”

Nie Huaisang grumbled but conceded that his brother was especially difficult to resist when he was in full big brother mode. If he wasn’t, Nie Huaisang wouldn’t have been nearly so willing to give up the neat new sword he’d found in the Xuanwu’s cave and store it down in their saber halls until his brother and Baxia could figure out how to suppress it - he hadn’t even realized it was full of resentful energy at first, and he still thought it was especially aesthetic.

“Besides, if you don’t practice something soon, he’ll come after you himself,” Jiang Cheng said. “Wouldn’t you rather train with me?”

“No. You’re just as crazy as he is.”

Jiang Cheng looked disturbingly complimented.

“I’ll come look at your birds later,” he offered.

“You’d do that anyway,” Nie Huaisang said. “You love my birds.”

Jiang Cheng did, too. Nearly as much as he loved all the feral cats that roamed the walls of the Unclean Realm, every single one of which seemed to have immediately pegged him as a soft touch and come nosing around for treats – Nie Huaisang had never seen Jiang Cheng look so calm and peaceful as when he had a cat under his palm.

It really put into perspective how stressed he looked the rest of the time.

“Oh, all right,” he groaned, and Jiang Cheng beamed. “Just know that I hate you.”

“Same to you, Nie-gongzi,” Jiang Cheng said, completely insincere. “Same to you.”

-

“You know, I’m surprised my parents haven’t shown up to demand me back yet,” Jiang Cheng said over lunch one day. “It’s not – it’s not a problem. It’s only – I thought – Mother at least –”

“Oh, they’re demanding all right,” Nie Huaisang sniggered.

“…Nie Huaisang, what have you done,” Jiang Cheng said.

“Conspired, that’s what,” Nie Mingjue said. “I don’t know if I should thank you for discovering my brother’s sole talent, namely for scheming and conspiracies, or to blame you for it, Wanyin – but you do have very loyal friends.”

Jiang Cheng blinked.

“Well, first your parents went to Lanling,” Nie Huaisang explained. “On account of Jin Zixuan and Mianmian very obviously sneaking food around and buying all sorts of things that you would like before smuggling them – very poorly and obviously, mind you – into Jinlin Tower, and of course they were also overheard talking about something that sounded an awful lot like ‘Wanyin’; everyone assumed they were hiding you. Turns out they weren’t, of course; it was just a stray dog they’d named something with similar tones. Not their fault everyone got the wrong idea!”

Jiang Cheng’s eye twitched.

“And then, of course, they went to Gusu, on account of Lan Wangji telling everyone you were his sworn brother –”

“His what?!”

“Well, close enough. On account of how you saved his life.”

“I did not!”

“I thought I heard something about how you carried him on your back as you fled from the Xuanwu’s cave and the Wen sect’s ambushes, when he was exhausted and could not walk,” Nie Mingjue said mildly, and Jiang Cheng spluttered. “Had I heard wrongly?”

“…well, no…but...”

“Of course, you weren’t at Gusu,” Nie Huaisang continued, ignoring them both. “Though there were some heavy implications for a little while that you’d gone off with Lan-gongzi –”

“Isn’t he missing?”

Nie Mingjue coughed and looked down at his plate.

“And none of you said anything?” Jiang Cheng asked, looking between them. “At any point? Did you just, what, not talk to them?”

“I have spoken with your parents several times since they have started looking for you,” Nie Mingjue said, and his voice was suddenly hot with roiling anger. “I have concluded that Huaisang had a point regarding the necessity of their learning how to ask for your return.”

Jiang Cheng blinked.

“Your parents are jerks,” Nie Huaisang volunteered. “And you deserve better.”

“Yes, thank you,” Jiang Cheng said, a little strangled. “I think I – got that.”

“Good.”

-

“It’s just, my jiejie –”

“Supports you being here. She sent you a care package. It’s in your room.”

“…Wei Wuxian –”

“Sent a note along with the package. Says to keep up the good work.”

“How did you even get something like that?!”

“I have my ways.”

-

Nie Huaisang was staring blankly at the wall when Jiang Cheng walked in and did a double take.

“Okay,” he said to Nie Mingjue, sitting patiently nearby with a letter in his hands. “You broke him. How?”

“He just discovered that he inadvertently saved a great deal of lives,” Nie Mingjue said. “As did you, by agreeing to come here.”

“I only agreed to come here because you lied and told me it was necessary to help defend my sect,” Jiang Cheng grumbled, clearly not meaning it.

Nie Huaisang let out a high-pitched and somewhat hysterical giggle.

“It was,” Nie MIngjue said solemnly, offering him the letter. “It appears that Wen Chao was given permission to attack and crush the Jiang sect, but has been delaying in anticipation of your return on account of wanting to deal with all of you at once. The delay allowed our spies time to discover his plans, and to carry warnings to your parents. They were thus able to fortify the Lotus Pier’s defenses against invasion, and to hold it off until aid could arrive – which they wouldn’t have managed if he’d attacked at once, as he would have if you’d been there.”

Jiang Cheng stared.

“Would you like to sit down and stare at the wall?” Nie Mingjue offered kindly.

“…yes please.”

-

“How’d you convince him to let me come here, anyway?” Jiang Cheng asked Nie Huaisang as he packed up his things. He was finally heading back to the Lotus Pier, albeit only long enough to collect soldiers and come back to join what they’d started calling the Sunshot Campaign – his parents had finally figured out where he was and sent word that had, in the view of the Nie, just barely qualified as sufficient to get some leeway.

Lan Wangji was waiting in the hallway to escort him there, and he’d sworn to Nie Huaisang that he would not allow either of Jiang Cheng’s parents to say anything untoward while they were there. He’d looked very serious while he said it, too, which pleased Nie Huaisang to no end and made Jiang Cheng look more than a bit nervous.

“You’re only asking that now?” Nie Huaisang asked, amused.

Jiang Cheng shrugged. “You going to tell me or not?”

“It was easy,” he said. “I just invoked Nie sect principle three.”

“…what’s that?”

“‘A fire burns all the same’,” Nie Huaisang said. “Variously interpreted as: ‘Treat your neighbor’s harm as your own’, ‘Do not stand idly by as your neighbor bleeds’, or ‘Indifference to evil is equivalent to evil’.”

Jiang Cheng stared.

“How about ‘if you see someone who needs you, you have an obligation to act’?”

Jiang Cheng blinked. “Okay,” he said. “And?”

“And what?”

“And what else did you say? You convinced him to literally kidnap the heir of another Great Sect; I can’t believe that you accomplished that simply by saying ‘hey principle three applies here, let’s do this’.”

“Maybe I did,” Nie Huaisang sniffed.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “Fine, keep your secrets. I’ll get them out of you one day.”

“Maybe you will,” Nie Huaisang said.

-

“Da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said. “If I wanted to keep Jiang Cheng permanently, what principle would I have to invoke for that?”

“Nineteen.”

“Nineteen?” Nie Huaisang frowned. “But, da-ge, principle nineteen is the one about marriage – oooooooh.”

[crossdressingdeath]

...So... you've basically just said that JYL's actions had no impact on JGY's decision to not attack WWX openly, then. Because attacking WWX openly would be stupid, and JGY is not stupid. As I said. So the entire discussion about JGY is irrelevant. Cool. That said, I... never said JGY intended to attack WWX immediately...? Hell, we don't even know if he originally intended to attack WWX at all. Because there was no reason for him to. The ambush was to kill JZX and maybe JZXun; WWX's death would be a happy bonus, but it wasn't necessary at that point. You're assuming that JGY actively wanted WWX dead, but there is nothing to suggest that that's the case! If JZX had successfully smoothed things over and brought WWX to Koi Tower JGY would've smiled and welcomed WWX into the fold and started working on a different way to get rid of JZX because he's an brilliant schemer who knows when to change his approach. (Also NHS isn't omniscient, he's just good at avoiding notice and winning people over? I'd argue he's better at improvising with the information he's given than actually... getting information.) And it wasn't JGY who got the sects to openly attack WWX; honestly he's not stupid or aggressive enough to think a direct attack against the guy who can summon armies of the dead in his home turf of the LITERAL MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES was a good idea. The siege was actually JC's doing; at worst I suspect JGY just went along with it.

...Hell, by that logic JYL inviting WWX actually screwed him over more? Which wasn't her fault, but it's interesting that assuming she was the one to invite him (which I'm still not sold on; her wanting him there would be enough on its own for JZX to invite him, given how he really wants to make her happy) her decision directly led to his death. Funny how these things work out. Thematically that feels important, that JYL's little invitation that she clearly didn't think through at all ended up triggering the sequence of events that led to WWX's death. She would've been better off not trying to help him, because half-assing it and assuming everything would be fine because she assumed he was the aggressor despite knowing JC was ALWAYS the aggressor between them and just took JC's word for it even though she knew the fight was staged AND that the Wens were civilians actually led to more problems than just leaving the whole mess alone. (Just to rephrase that: the only way she wouldn't have at least suspected that WWX was being set up is if she wholeheartedly took JC's side and didn't consider for a second that maybe WWX might have a bit of a point in the whole "We shouldn't leave these people who saved our sect to die" thing, and don't try to tell me that she didn't know what they owed the Wens because like hell would WWX not have told her about it. If JYL didn't realize that something fishy was going on then she's just a little past the point of just being called naive.)

And uh... there's no evidence that she told WWX to shut up because she reacted to JC like she would YZY. Because she literally always expected WWX to sit down and shut up when JC was being a dick to him. This is just... business as usual. And since she assumed he was telling the truth about WWX being the aggressor in their little staged fight she clearly doesn't decide he can't be trusted or relied on because she continues assuming WWX is the aggressor and the one who'll turn things violent which only JC's word gives her any reason to believe. Also she would've heard the way people talked about WWX unless JZX literally locked her in their room and in fact saw firsthand how unwilling people were to take WWX's side in even minor things at Phoenix Mountain and knew her brother was slandering him in a way guaranteed to turn people against him, so I'd say her assuming that everything would be fine if he turned up as a guest is going just a touch further than "overly optimistic", hm? We are once again reaching the point where she's either a moron or lying to herself at best.

I've always seen Yanli as really sheltered, but thinking that she's had it very hard. Like, obviously YZY SUCKED and Yanli got her share of emotional trauma from her, but because of that I think she thought everyone (and especially WWX) coped like her. By letting it wash away and focusing on the positive. And while that's not wrong, per se, it blinded her to how much MUCH worse things were for WWX, and she didn't start interrogating those assumptions untli after the soup visit

I mean, I feel like it goes deeper than that? She’s not just expecting WWX to cope by smiling through everything, she’s outright enforcing it. If WWX shows the slightest anger or sorrow or even annoyance at the way her family treats him she’ll immediately start in on the “Oh but they might be upset if you demand they treat you like a person” shit. She’s not expecting WWX to “focus on the positive”, she’s expecting him to never do anything that might force the Jiangs to reconsider the way they treat him. And she doesn’t really try to comfort him either, she just goes for “Oh, you’re always smiling, you’re fine” all the time! She’s not a toddler, she should be aware that WWX has feelings and the Jiangs are hurting him. Even if she can’t help him, her insistence that he be a good punching bag is... questionable at best. It’s got big “Don’t rock the boat, if you do someone other than you might suffer” vibes to me. And of course it’s not just “Oh he’s always smiling and focuses on the positives”; she expects him to take punishment both from and for JC so that JC won’t have to deal with the consequences of his actions. Also she... doesn’t start interrogating her assumptions? She expects WWX to take the fall for everything right up until the day she dies. Which isn’t really a surprise, given how she apparently didn’t recognize that maybe he had the right to be upset over being whipped for sunbathing and the like...

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: [Bank statement screenshot, his transfer circled] Rio: Is that you??? Buster: What? Rio: Did you transer that money, 'cos it's the amount I told you Ryan owes me, and around the time I told you, so Buster: You aren't ever getting it from that cunt Rio: That doesn't mean you have to foot the bill! Rio: Buster, oh my god Buster: It means he's got less of an excuse to come around though Buster: Worth it for that Rio: You must think I'm so ungrateful, I thought it was from the streams, I didn't clock it 'til now Buster: I didn't do it so you'd be grateful Buster: I have better methods for that, like Rio: Are you sure? Rio: I won't touch it, 'case you change your mind Rio: but thanks Buster: Don't be an idiot Buster: I don't want it back Rio: It's a lot of money that you don't owe me Buster: Nah Buster: It's like a piece from Nance's summer wardrobe or whatever Rio: I know Rio: and I already raided said wardrobe once, like Buster: Only what she left behind Buster: Nothing she cares about Rio: Still that good shit though Rio: not that I've priced it all up to put on poshmark or anything but you know Buster: Get that sorted for next time Buster: Anything you don't wanna keep yourself that is Buster: 💄 maybe Rio: 'Course Rio: was my colour Buster: Yeah Rio: Now I really owe you, yeah? Buster: Not for that Buster: I'm not trying to buy it, you know Rio: I know Rio: I will think of something though Buster: Good 'cause I can't stop thinking about you Rio: Same Rio: but reversed Rio: not that self-absorbed or feeling this bitch rn Buster: You should Buster: You look fucking good right now Rio: You would say that, perv 😉 Buster: Not sorry Buster: It's true Rio: Too early for truthing Rio: though thanks to all-inclusive i've been off my face nearly this entire time on cheap wine Buster: So what you'd rather a dare? Rio: 😂 Yeah Rio: what kinda of boring bitch picked truth, 'less they wanted to tell all their mates who they fancied Buster: I'm never bored of hearing how much you fancy me, babe Rio: Shut up 😏 Rio: about how mature i feel rn Rio: though glad you've grown, cuter now, like Buster: Are you saying I was an ugly kid? Buster: Bullshit and just rude to be honest Rio: No, just that you've got better with age Rio: don't start with me, accept the compliment like i'm accepting the cash 😜 Buster: Alright Buster: cheers then Rio: Welcome Rio: see, wasn't that nice? Buster: Shut up Buster: I've been nice to you loads of times Rio: I know Rio: I've been the cunt this time, like Buster: You're not Rio: Hmm, jury ain't even out on that one but imma use my time wisely Rio: gonna go straight guv Buster: Don't Buster: You actually would be in danger of being a boring bitch then Buster: And you ain't bad as is, like Rio: Now who's being rude, you don't need to take my place, babe Rio: Idk, undoubtly won't last, hasn't stuck yet, like Rio: sick of feeling like crap and acting or being treated like it Buster: I'm just saying, sin with me first, babe Buster: Do you really feel that bad? I know you didn't want a truth but you can tell me Rio: That doesn't count, I've decided Rio: mostly 'cos I really want to but no one's gonna know so no one can get fucked over, like Rio: Right now, yeah Rio: I didn't wanna go and leave Indie and things are weird between us rn as is Buster: She's alive I've seen the evidence Buster: but yeah I know Buster: Has he contacted you since you got there? Buster: Either he, like Rio: Yeah, I know she'll be alright, made sure but Rio: A few times Buster: And? Rio: Ryan just liking my pictures loving being the reason I'm here having a shit time on my tod Rio: Drew asking when my next shift was, so clearly been to see Indie, Dad of the year Buster: Twat Buster: Do you wanna come home? Rio: That's the thing Rio: not really Rio: Christ 😂 sob story moment Buster: You're allowed Buster: And you don't need my permission anyway, like Rio: I know I did it Rio: but everything is fucked at home rn Buster: Babe you haven't done anything Rio: I must've flirted with Drew too much and too real Rio: then the stupid fucking stream Rio: if Ryan has told anyone and my fam find out or get shit for it Rio: which he definitely will, fuck Rio: could explain the burlesque style of things but that was just fucking porn Rio: no escaping it Buster: Rio Buster: breathe, yeah? Buster: Drew's a grown ass man first of all and sketchy as fuck since he's been around. Indie knows Buster: She's not gonna blame you for him being a fucking perv Buster: And I've told you before, I'll shut Ryan up, 'cause I can and will Rio: Yeah Rio: Okay Rio: I just don't feel like I'm sorting anything from here Rio: 'cos I ain't Rio: I always fix things Buster: Exactly Buster: So let me do it this time Buster: I've got you, alright Rio: but it's not your mess Buster: So? Rio: so Rio: why Buster: So you can focus on having a not shit time Buster: That was the whole idea of you going, remember? Rio: Missed that memo Rio: here's me hiding in shame like Buster: Don't Rio: Try Rio: fuck's sake, do i have to admit i should've let you help from the start Buster: No, but I ain't gonna be mad if you do, obviously Buster: Just tell me what I can do now, yeah? Buster: What do you need? Rio: Don't reckon pride's gonna allow that just yet but then again Rio: gonna ask you to keep me company again though so maybe I can deal if I can admit I need that Rio: alone time's all well and good but feeling really fucking alone, like, nah Rio: not so much Buster: So let me come and keep you company for real Rio: can you? Buster: I wouldn't have said it if I couldn't Buster: I can be there Rio: do you wanna though? Rio: not exactly sold it Buster: Like I said, I'm not trying to buy you Rio: yeah Rio: well, if you did come Rio: i'd be happy about it Buster: Then I'm packing Rio: Buster Buster: What? Rio: Thanks Buster: Let me earn it first, babe Rio: Overachiever Buster: You say that like it's not the best thing to happen to you Rio: 😏 Rio: I ain't mad about it but don't ruin it, boy Buster: You reckon I could? Buster: I know how bad you want me, it'd take more than words Rio: True Rio: can't be bothered to lie about it now Buster: Good Buster: Don't lie to me Rio: I won't Rio: Can't, your annoyingly perceptive, like Buster: Well yeah, got my twin's share too, didn't I? Rio: Mean! Buster: Still true Rio: You don't have to say EVERY true thing just 'cos it is Buster: Not saying it to her, am I, she don't have to handle it Rio: 🙄 Rio: She's doing her best, bless her Rio: like the rest of us Buster: Maybe she should try a bit harder Buster: Like the rest of us Rio: She's changed a lot since she came to my School, you know Buster: Good for her Rio: Just saying Buster: Whatever Rio: Focus on packing Buster: It's done Buster: Not some amateur like Rio: know i don't plan on letting you leave the bed much but Rio: probably pack some outfits, babe Rio: how did you do it that fast Buster: 😏 Buster: I know you're more adventurous than that, babe Buster: Not gonna hide you away in the room when I can fuck you anywhere Rio: i did manage to get a room with a decent balcony, actually Buster: That's a start Rio: how soon can you get here Buster: There's a flight in a few hours then plus the actual time in the air, like Rio: Good Rio: Your 'rents cool? Buster: They could care less Buster: What else is summer for? Buster: Work hard, play hard, basically on our family crest Rio: 👍 Rio: I feel it Buster: Not gonna tell them I'm travelling to fuck you senseless Buster: Probably less approving of that but you know Rio: 😳 Rio: can't have them after me too, like Buster: I'd never let that happen Buster: I'm coming to make things better not worse Rio: You're too good Rio: to me and in general like Rio: got me weak 😩 Buster: You ain't seen nothing yet, babe Buster: Be ready for it Rio: You know I've BEEN ready Buster: Yeah but it's not just talk now, is it? Rio: Never been just talk Rio: unless you packing disappointment for me, like Buster: Shut up Buster: You know everything I've put in this case you'll wanna rip off me Rio: Just don't bill me for your dry cleaning Buster: Like you could afford it Rio: 😤 Rio: my point but don't be so rude Buster: Mine's that we gonna ruin half this Buster: That's why I packed so fast Rio: thank god i packed some decent shit in my own mad dash Rio: no excuse not to be seen with me now Buster: I'm done making excuses, believe me Buster: I don't care what you're wearing I just want to take it off you Rio: I know but I still want you to enjoy the view whilst doing it Buster: You know I will Buster: You're so hot it drives me insane Rio: Yeah Rio: I genuinely reckon when we finally get to fuck my life is gonna feel less shit because i actually feel mental how much i think about it Rio: no pressure 😂 Buster: I perform well under pressure Buster: No worries Rio: so fucking capable Rio: jesus Rio: such a turn on Buster: good Buster: 'cause I swear everything you do gets to me Rio: yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: i'm glad Rio: all i wanna do is turn you on and get you off Buster: It's finally gonna happen Rio: I know, I get to feel it Rio: taste it Buster: fuck I bet you taste so good Rio: you can find out as soon as you get here Rio: already so wet ready for you Buster: Jesus Buster: I need to Rio: make me cum with your tongue before you fuck me Rio: i'll be so hot and tight on your dick Buster: Babe Rio: Yes? 😇 Buster: You're perfect Rio: perfect for you Buster: Yeah Rio: You are for me Rio: I have to have you Buster: You can have me as many times as you want Buster: There's nothing to stop us once this plane ride is over Rio: I intend to Rio: Not gonna be satisfied with just once Rio: waited and wanted too long Buster: I've never agreed with you more Rio: Good thing no one else can ever know, right? Buster: My ego won't agree after I've made you cum more than you ever have but Buster: I'll forgo the brag this once Rio: Realisitcally you already got 'em beat, how many times I've screwed myself and pretended it was you Rio: Brag all you want, just don't put my name down as a reference, like 😂 Buster: Bragging won't feel as good as any of this anyway Buster: You think you like my odds now but just wait until I'm inside you or been eating you out for hours Buster: The competition just won't exist Rio: Fucking hell Rio: my brain won't exist Rio: i need to not think for a while Rio: only think about making you feel as good as you make me Buster: That's all I want too Buster: Fuck it Rio: you've earnt it, daddy Rio: gonna take care of you like you do me Buster: How long until somebody misses you? Buster: I'm not even there yet and I already don't want to leave Rio: Ugh, I took a week so we've got Rio: 3 days left Buster: You don't need to sleep, right? Rio: If I do wake me up by pressing your hard on into my ass Rio: 😍 best way to wake up Buster: Least I can do Rio: what's the most Rio: i want that Buster: You'll have to fall asleep to find out Buster: Depends what you want more, really Buster: 'Cause being awake will be very tempting, like Rio: but but 😖 Rio: i just want you constantly idc Rio: i'm yours for the weekend use me however and whenever you want Buster: You have no idea how many times I've imagined you saying shit like that to me Rio: and i wanted to Rio: had to make sure you did too Buster: Thank Christ we both know now Rio: Now it doesn't have to be all fantasy Rio: I want to do everything you've ever thought about me doing to you, let you do everything you've ever dreamed of Buster: I'm not gonna say no Buster: I'm still waiting to hear all of yours Rio: interrogate me, i'll list 'em off, one for every spank you give me Rio: harder you go harder i will baby Buster: Fucking hell Buster: okay Rio: you want that? Buster: I really want it Rio: Good Rio: it's always made me wet when you tell me what to do and get a lil rough with me Rio: even if it makes me mad too, still want you to push me up against the nearest wall and fuck the shit outta me Buster: I know Rio: Not even ashamed Rio: 'cos I'd rather you knew so you would sometime Buster: Don't be Buster: I'm not ashamed to admit how hard you get me anytime you do what you're told either Rio: get used to it, i wanna do whatever you say right now Rio: sometimes i've gotta ignore you though so you punish me Buster: I don't reckon you can ignore me, even when you need to Rio: True Rio: you're too good Buster: That's what you'll be saying when I let you talk, babe Rio: Buster Buster: You can say my name too Rio: Good, because you're all that's on my mind Rio: byy the time you get here i'm going to need you so bad Buster: I need you so bad now Rio: can i touch myself or do i have to be good and wait Buster: Wait for me Rio: okay daddy Rio: my fingers aren't going to be enough anyway when i'm thinking of your big dick Buster: 3 days won't be enough Rio: i know Rio: we can work it out Buster: promise Rio: promise Rio: i need you Rio: whenever we can Buster: Me too Buster: There's nobody else who comes close to you Rio: 'cos i'm made for you Rio: don't forget Buster: I won't Buster: not after this Buster: I couldn't before, like Rio: I know Rio: we both tried Rio: saw you trying not to look at me when i was failing myself Buster: and I tried to get you to look at me any way I fucking could Rio: You never had to try, trust me Buster: It felt like it, some of the stupid shit I've done Rio: Why am I here? Rio: Can't get any more desperate or stupid, like Buster: Don't say that Rio: Sorry Rio: it's just the truth Rio: you know that was for you Buster: It's not gonna be like that any more Rio: no Rio: if you get me wet then my pussy is yours Rio: i won't ever ddo it again Buster: I won't do that kinda shit to you anymore Buster: New games now, like Rio: Better Buster: Yeah