#not so slow burn 👀

[virgo-mess]

The Birds and the Bees

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Chapter List

1.Alexithymia- The Inability to Express your Feelings Parts 1 and 2

2.The Woes of Adolescence/ What the heck Happened that Summer Parts 1 and 2

3.Caught in a Summer Storm/ What the heck Happened that Christmas.

4.Summer Bluffs? Part 1

5.Disco, Strippers, and Margaritassss Part 2

6.Sleepless in a Hotel Suite Part 3

7.Shades of Pink

8.The Things I’ve Dreamed Part 1

9.Renewal Part 2

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TW: Mostly just fluff and repressed feelings, I ended up splitting this chapter into two parts for my own sanity, ENJOY!

The Woes of Adolescence/ What the Heck Happened That Summer Part 1

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“Yet the summer which was to change everything was coming nearer every day. When boys and girls are growing up, life can’t stand still, not even in the quietest of country towns; and they have to grow up, whether they will or no. That is what their elders are always forgetting.”- Willa Cather

Shay's Pov

 The days leading up to the wedding ticked by like the hands track the minutes and hours on a clock, some days flew by, and others were agonizingly slow. Shay wasn’t sure which she preferred, the fast days were the ones where she and Cash had the most fun. They seemed to get along better on those days when the planning felt less like planning and more like hanging out, but not the way you hang out with a friend. It felt more like dating than anything and Shay found it comparable to those carefree, albeit fleeting beginnings of her relationship with Tyler and those early buddings of her crush on Cash. When the butterflies in her stomach were endless and the bashful giggles were a dime a dozen, the sweet days. The ones before Shay’s anxiety induced depressive spirals surfaced as a result of her parents’ contentious divorce and threw a wrench in her and Cash’s friendship. The quote on quote, sweet days, in her and Tyler’s relationship, however, were the ones before his narcissistic and abusive tendencies surfaced. Shay was about as happy as she could be in those days, having settled for being in a relationship with someone she only kind of liked because the person she really wanted felt just out of reach.

   The slow, tedious days Shay and Cash spent planning, however, were a lot less fun. They were the days she and Cash seemed to do nothing except bicker, they couldn’t agree on anything on those days. That was the primary reason they still hadn’t managed to come to a consensus on the bachelor parties. Shay knew she was just being difficult but how could she not be? She had come to a point in her life where nothing made sense anymore and being with Cash, the man she could admit she wholeheartedly still loved, was only making her more confused. There were moments they’d shared over the past week or so, intimate ones, where Shay got the feeling, he wanted to kiss her as much as she wanted to kiss him. That talk at brunch about their dreams was one of a few. Shay couldn’t stop thinking about the way his fingers ran down her arm, the way his thumb caressed her cheek, and the way his ocean blue eyes gazed into her in a way that felt like he was seeing into her soul. Shay had evidently mistaken the emotions swirling in his blue orbs, but it wasn’t like it was the first time Cash had brought her hopes up to an embarrassing all-time high.

 “Shaylee, where are you?” Shay’s mother, Maggie Harris’ chipper voice floated out at Shay from somewhere down the hallway near her bedroom. Shay craned her neck to peer down the hallway from her current sprawled out position on the living room couch and saw her mom standing in the hall with a suitcase by her side for the trip she was taking this week with Cash’s mom Jo. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a high ponytail and her blue eyes were scanning Shay’s empty bedroom slowly, people often mistook Shay and her mom for sisters more so than mother and daughter. Shay never really thought they looked all that much alike aside from the blonde hair. Shay had her father, Beau Harris’ eyes, whom she only really saw on holidays because their close relationship suffered significantly when she came home from school early one day to find him cheating. Not that Beau Harris hadn’t tried to adamantly repair the rift that his infidelity had caused between them, in fact he still called her once a week to catch up and ask her how she was doing. The answer was always the same of course, fine just fine. Shay supposed she should forgive him by now but for whatever reason, she couldn’t help but still feel so betrayed.

 “I’m in the living room” Shay said, turning back around to put a bookmark in the book she’d been reading before fully sitting up. She filled most of the time she wasn’t wedding planning or hanging out with Cash reading, she hadn’t really had a chance to read for pleasure with all the long and often times sleepless nights she spent going through client files and crunching numbers back in New York.

  “There you are, what are you reading? You know you’ve got boxes full of books in the attic still, I thought you were going to ask Cash to come over and help you with all that stuff up there?” her mom said, walking into their open concept kitchen and living room with her suitcase rolling behind her. Shay didn’t miss the almost impish grin on her face as she stared at her from the kitchen island and eyed her mother suspiciously from her spot on the couch with an arched eyebrow. Maggie Harris had been nosier than usual these few weeks that Shay had been home and that was saying a lot, to say the least. After that summer between eighth grade and high school, Maggie Harris, had become a bit of a hover parent. Not that Shay could blame her, that meltdown she had on the last day of school that year, the day she locked Cash out, refused to open the window, and screamed at him for the first time ever was a rollercoaster for them all.

“Between wedding planning and trying to talk him into a western themed bachelor party I forgot, I guess… Why are you looking at me like that?” Shay asked her wearily, the impish grin on her mom’s face only seemed to grow as she shuffled towards the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water.

  “I’m not looking at you like anything, pumpkin but I figured you forgot so I asked him myself. Jo put a lot of his stuff from the basement up there when she was having it renovated and with both of you lovebirds gone for the past two years, we haven’t gotten around to getting everything back over there. Cash said he’s more than happy to help you with the attic and to keep you company while I’m gone” She replied taking a seat on one of the bar stools near the island with the same grin on her face. Shay felt her cheeks flush at her mom insinuating that she and Cash were anything more than friends.

  “Mom, Cash is only hanging out with me because Pete and Daisy gave him no choice... we’re just friends. I can go through the stuff in the attic by myself and make sure he gets his stuff back; I don’t need a babysitter. I’m fine, really.” Shay sighed; she knew what her mom meant by Cash keeping her company. She knew it as soon as Miss DeDe Green stopped her at the farmers market last weekend and asked, “But how are you really cupcake?”. 

 “I know you don’t need a babysitter Shaylee Rose; Cash isn’t coming to babysit you at all. Have you ever considered he just likes spending time with you, I only asked him to help you with the attic he’s the one that wanted to keep you company.” Maggie said there was a sincere note in her tone, but Shay still found herself highly doubting her words given her mother’s meddlesome history.

  “Uh huh, and what excuse was that mom” Shay huffed, rising from her spot on the couch she felt a bit, exasperated as she walked over to join her at the island. Maggie chuckled under her breath as she reached out to stroke Shay’s cheek affectionately.

  “His exact words were ‘She’s got to stop leaving unlocked lower-level windows around your house Mrs. Harris, it’s not safe. I’ll help her with the attic and crash on the couch for a few nights, so she doesn’t get kidnapped.’” she said with amusement swirling in her blue eyes.

“That’s what I said but he insisted I leave it unlocked for him like I used to, or he’d wake me up before 9:30” Shay huffed rolling her eyes to herself at Cash’s silly antics, he had reined in a good portion of his usually, incessant teasing over the days they’d spent together, much to Shay’s surprise. At least when they weren’t having a bicker fest that is, an action which had Shay feeling as confused and besotted as she was when she was fourteen. Which only meant all those anxious and insecure tendencies she had during those bewildering days of her early teens were starting to resurface the more time she spent with him. She could tell Cash was really putting forth the effort not to escalate their bickering into full on arguments, but part of Shay found herself wanting him to. There was so much to be said and they both knew it…

  “That sounds like another excuse to spend time with you to me. He sure had a lot of them when you were kids too.” Her mom said with a fond smile on her face. Like she was recalling memories of the summers their families spent down in Cape Cod before happy homes became less happy. Doomed in the gloom of a tumultuous melodrama, fit for a some scandalous tell-all, at least that’s what everyone in town said.

“What do you mean.” Shay said, propping an elbow up on the granite counter, she rested her chin in the palm of her hand and looked at her mother in expectation and mild suspicion. She could feel one of her mother’s deep, heart to heart chats quickly approaching and Shay wasn’t sure if she could handle another one, it would be about the fourth heart to heart chat since Shay had come home. Cash of course had been the subject of every single one of them.

“Well, he didn’t have to spend the night every day after Huck was gone did he?” Maggie said with a knowing smile though her blue eyes were still incredibly impish as they held Shay’s gaze. Shay pondered her statement for a brief moment, she hadn’t really considered the fact Cash didn’t have to spend as much time with her as he did back then after Huck Ewing went to prison and basically dropped off the face of the earth after his release. Shay always just assumed it was because Jo needed someone to keep an eye on Cash while she was busy putting in extra hours at work so she and Cash wouldn’t have to move to a more affordable section of Plymouth.

“I don’t know, I guess I never really thought much about it because he stopped doing it by the time I got home that summer. He kind of just left me alone” Shay said, she caught a glimpse of a memory in her mother’s eyes like she was recalling something Shay knew nothing about. She wished her mom, Daisy, and Pete would just get over wanting her and Cash to talk everything out and just spill whatever it was they were all holding back. It was very obvious they all knew something she didn’t…

“Did he or maybe you were just having a hard time seeing too far outside of yourself, Shaylee?” Maggie asked in a soft but pointed tone, Shay let out another sigh partly in exasperation and partly in relief that the awaited heart to heart was finally being laid out on the table.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Shay asked mostly just to humor her mother but also because she was genuinely curious what wise, parent psychology mumbo jumbo she was preparing to throw at her today. Shay watched the last remnants of the impish proclivities leave her mom’s blue eyes, they became a soft mix of maternal seriousness and sincerity as they gazed into Shay’s green ones.

“You were very much going through the woes of adolescence that summer, pumpkin, that whole year really. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s normal and scientifically proven teens are a little self-centered during those years. Adolescent egocentrism is what they call it, it makes it hard for you to accept other points of views, makes you feel like the world’s out to get you, and everyone is judging you. Even if they’re not and I know the divorce only made this worse for you.” Her mom admitted in a soft tone. Shay wordlessly nodded her head in acknowledgement, feeling a little exposed among other things.

“Oh, so you think because I was suffering from Adolescent egocentrism among other things, I may be misremembering things about Cash and our friendship. Okay mom…” Shay muttered more to herself than anything else, her mother wasn’t wrong, and she found it mildly irritating. That age when you realized your parents were right, that they did get it, and they weren’t just saying it because they’re your parents, was actually no less aggravating than the age when you shouted the opposite at them constantly. Shay wasn’t quite ready to give her a “you were right mom” just yet…

“You could be… take going through your old things as an opportunity to look at stuff with a pair of fresh eyes, maybe there was something you missed the first time around, maybe you might even find yourself up there…hmm. Fourteen is a rough year for everybody, things that seemed easy to say suddenly aren’t. The woes...” Maggie trailed with a faint smile on her face because she of course knew what Shay was actually thinking. Shay rolled her eyes to herself and wondered why her mom’s motherly intuition radar was always on the up and up.

“The woes of adolescence got it mom no need to get so philosophical on me…” Shay said just as a soft thud came from her bedroom. Shay rolled her eyes, peering down the hall she saw Cash clamber in through her bedroom window with a large black duffle on one arm and a few bags of groceries on the other. He set his duffle near her bed before his tall, muscled frame stalked down the hall and into the kitchen with the groceries and a big grin on his face.

“Hey Mrs. Harris, Cherry Blossom” he greeted in a cheery tone and dumped the bags on the kitchen island. Shay peered down at all the bags to find a plethora of her favorite snacks, candy, and a few decks of playing cards.

“Not babysitting me, huh, he brought games and snacks…” Shay said raising an eyebrow at her mom pointedly, Maggie flashed her an almost sheepish smile. Cash looked down at her amused as he rounded the island and wrapped his strong arms around Shay’s waist in the form of a tender embrace. Shay jumped slightly in surprise at the action because she still wasn’t used to Cash being this touchy with her. The hugs after that lonely summer were so far and few between but each one still had nervous, smitten butterflies swirling in her stomach every time.

“Hadn’t planned on babysitting although I am the oldest and the most mature out of the two of us blondie. We’re just best friends having a sleepover like old times.” Cash said teasingly into her ear, Shay felt his chest rumble against her back as he let out a soft chuckle and placed a long kiss into her hair, gingerly. Shay felt her stomach do about a dozen nervous flips and let out an almost nervous giggle despite herself at the display of affection.

“I think that’s the best joke you’ve made in a long time, Cash, Cash parties always a smash” Shay said nonchalantly, ignoring the way her cheeks flushed a bright, rosy shade of pink at the feel of his lips brushing against her ear as she craned her neck to give him a teasing smile.

“I resent that title, Cherry Blossom; Pete was the one throwing the parties I was just providing the space. Cute jammies by the way” Cash crooned, toying with the thin strap of her floral top as he stared down at her with a coquettish smile on his face. Shay rolled her eyes at him almost playfully though she was sure her face was the brightest shade of pink imaginable by now. She hadn’t missed the way his eyes would linger on certain areas of her body the last few days and she’d be lying if she said it didn’t give her a bit of an ego boost though Shay wasn’t sure what to do with that information.

“Yeah, a space for underage drinking. How’d you become a cop again, were all your teachers at the academy divorcees that caressed your muscles during target practice or something?” Shay said teasingly, though the thought of Cash being in such a predicament had her heart twinging with jealousy. Cash let out another soft chuckle, his blue eyes were swirling with amusement and his smile was still tormentingly coquettish as his arms tightened their hold around Shay’s waist ever so slightly.

“No but if you’re looking for an excuse to caress my muscles darling, you don’t need one. You can touch ‘em all you want while I’m moving boxes in the attic, can’t believe you forgot to ask me to give you a hand for a whole week Shaylee.” Cash said teasingly, Shay rolled her eyes again though her heart was racing a mile a minute at the mere thought of running her hands down the length of his arms and chest. She’d had a number of heated dreams about doing just that since she was a hormonal teenager and even more so now that she was a lost, single woman approaching her thirties. This past week alone Shay had endless dreams about the amorous entanglements that would follow her running her hands along his chiseled form in both a passionate want and need. Fantasizing really, and no amount of time, distance, or the mental cage that came with a traumatic sham of a relationship could prevent her mind from getting lost in a maze of steamy yet romantic trysts with the man that really had her heart. Shay held onto those deeply personal entanglements and yearnings in her perfectly crafted, sheltered fantasy world of unbridled passion and romance. A world void of the fears and loud thoughts that talked her out of crossing that pesky imaginary line Shay had convinced herself lay between her and Cash Ewing. Shay gazed up at Cash absentmindedly for what felt like forever, he held her gaze with an unreadable emotion now swirling in his ocean blue eyes though his smile was still mildly coquettish even as beaming as it was at the present moment. Maggie Harris cleared her throat, breaking the brief stretch of silence that had lulled in the air. Shay felt her cheeks heat up again under her mother’s amused gaze.

“Skipped my mind, he’s been very distracting you know mom, with his Casanova ways.” Shay said, she felt Cash tighten his hold on her waist yet again and his chest rumble against her back tantalizingly. She gazed back at him still rosy cheeked as she tried to stifle an amused, slightly smitten, giggle under her breath.

“I think you’re starting to like my Casanova ways, Sweetheart.” Cash crooned in a flirty tone and rested his chin on her shoulder with an almost sheepish grin on his face as he stared deeply into her eyes. Shay stared back at him, completely breathless with the familiar fluttering of butterflies in her stomach. She found herself resisting the strong urge to kiss him again, she’d been resisting the urge to throw herself at him for days now and she wondered just how long she’d be able to keep it up. That imaginary line between them grew blurrier with each of the clocks tedious ticking hands. Shay’s mom cleared her throat again, pulling Shay and Cash out of their intimate staring contest with an almost smug smirk on her lips.

“You two are going to have a lot of fun this week, I can already tell so it’s best I get out of your flirty way. Please keep her busy Cashton, when you’re not here all she does is lay around all day and watch TV.” Her mom said pointedly as she slipped off the bar stool and made her way towards the pair, wheeling her suitcase behind her. Shay let out a breathless sigh and narrowed her eyes at her mom’s subtle attempt at bringing the long-buried events of that lonely summer to the surface again. If there was one thing Maggie Harris would go down in history for, it would be stirring the pot.

“That’s not true… today I laid around and read a book.” Shay said giving her mom a weary look in warning. Shay didn’t think she could handle trudging up the past yet, though she wasn’t sure why such a thing scared her so deeply. It’s not like Cash could gossip about her past predicament to the whole school now or anything, so what was standing in her way?

“Make sure she eats something too.” Maggie said, ignoring             Shay’s statement as she focused her blue eyes on Cash. Shay’s eyes only narrowed further as she looked quickly between her mother and Cash with a scowl-like pout on her face. She couldn’t believe the two of them were actually trying to have a silent conversation in front of her right now, all while Cash still had her wrapped up in his arms.

“Alright Mrs. Harris” Cash said, lifting his chin off Shay’s shoulder he flashed her what she could only assume was an attempt at a reassuring smile. Shay looked up at him suspiciously and wondered just what he and her mother had discussed when she wasn’t around and when they even had managed to make time to talk about her.

“This sounds an awful lot like babysitting to me…” Shay muttered under her breath, Cash flashed her another smile and began dragging his hands in soothing motions along her exposed waist and navel. The action was almost titillating enough to make Shay forget how annoyed she was getting with her mom’s meddlesome scheming. Shay felt a small wave of arousal wash over her at the feel of Cash’s large, warm hands caressing her now goosebump ridden skin. She found herself stifling a surely erotic sounding sigh of contentment as she gazed up at him doe eyed, nibbling on the inner side of her cheek while her stomach did excitedly nervous flips. Cash seemed to only pick up on her nerves though, he bowed down to place another tender kiss in her hair with a trace of a blush on his cheeks. Shay’s eyes fluttered closed, trying to rein in the now ragged breaths of want and need, escaping her lips. The clock’s tedious ticking seemed to slow to a pause for the briefest of moments and that invisible line was quite nearly erased from Shay’s mind when Cash’s lips left her hair and dared to ghost her flushed cheek. Shay’s eyes snapped open in a bashful surprise and met Cash’s deep blue orbs and sheepish grin once more. But the moment was over as quickly as it began, and the imaginary clocks tedious ticking resumed in Shay’s head with an almost spiteful vengeance as Maggie Harris’ next words hit Shay’s ears.

“She’s been a little depressed, you know.” Her mom said in a soft matter of fact type of tone that made Shay’s jaw clench in frustration. She so wished her mother would stop telling people her problems and diagnosing her whenever she saw fit. Sure, Shay was down in the dumps the past few months… or years, but that didn’t mean she was beyond repair…

“Mom! Stop telling people I’m depressed!” Shay scolded her with a now prominent scowl on her face though her stomach still made excited flips with each soothing pass Cash’s large, calloused hands made over her exposed skin. It wasn’t enough to subside Shay’s annoyance as she glared at her mother with a flushed face.

“Relax pumpkin, it’s just Cash.” Maggie said softly, but her tone was dismissive. Shay let out an exasperated, low groan and ignored the way Cash immediately pulled her small frame closer to his chest when she tried to take an attempt at an intimidating step towards her smug looking mother.

“It’s not just Cash, I know you told DeDe Green the same thing!” Shay said pointedly, Maggie let out an exasperated sigh of her own and gave Shay one of her scolding, maternal stares. Shay let out another groan, though it sounded more like a growl with her increasing annoyance, Cash increased the pace of the soothing patterns his slightly rough finger pads made against Shay’s skin.

“Okay! Mrs. Harris, I think my mom is waiting for you in the car. Pretty sure I heard her honk the horn. You guys go have a good time at the festival this week, Shay and I will get that attic all cleaned out for you, don’t worry.” Cash said reassuringly, he made a few more soothing caresses before finally letting go of Shay’s waist to grab her mom’s suitcase. The loss of Cash’s warm body against hers left Shay feeling cold and almost empty as his sudden shift away from her brought her back to reality. The invisible line was becoming less blurry, but Shay still found herself reaching back out to him with a shaky hand instinctively because all she ever wanted was to feel his warm touch all over her skin forever. Cash glanced back at her with a soft expression on his face and laced her small shaky fingers with his large steady ones. Shay flushed again, this time in embarrassment that she’d reached out for Cash without even thinking about it though part of her wished she could do things without thinking about it all the time. Especially when it came to Cashton Ewing.

“Okay, bye you two have fun but beha…” Maggie Harris didn’t get to finish her sentence because Cash began insistently ushering her towards the front door, rolling the suitcase with one hand while his other held Shay’s so tenderly she thought her heart might burst as his thumb caressed the back of her hand. Shay couldn’t help but stare at their interlocked fingers with a bashfully smitten blush and smile on her face, she could hear her mother babbling about something, but it sounded a lot like when the adults on Charlie Brown talk, utter nonsense.

“Yeah, okay, bye mom, have fun.” Shay said in a dismissive tone that definitely sounded snarky, but Shay was still too focused on Cash and her interlocked fingers to care. It still caught her by surprise when he’d hold her hand even though he held it the whole way into the restaurant mere days ago. In the moment, their tender touches and instant chemistry always made sense to Shay, but the aftermath always left her feeling so confused. She often found herself rethinking every detail of the time they spent together when she sat awake in the wee hours of the morning staring out her window. Something she’d be doing tonight without a doubt, to talk herself out of her brain mistaking Cash’s… friendliness for anything more than it was, for anything more than it meant to him even if it meant the world to her…

“Bye Mrs. Harris, tell my mom bye again for me” Cash said sharply, Shay looked up from their hands for a moment to watch Cash usher her mom out the door hastily before all but slamming it shut. Shay gazed up at him sheepishly through her thick lashes, her mind was still reeling a mile a minute and she found she was unsure of what to do with herself. There were voices in her head screaming at her to let go of his large hand, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. In fact, Shay found herself inching closer to him mindlessly.

“She’s getting to be too much in her old divorcee age, we have to get her a boyfriend or something…” Shay said jokingly though her expression was incredibly sheepish as she gazed up at Cash with doe like green eyes. Cash bit down on his lip and let out another soft chuckle as he gazed back down at her with a coquettish glint in his blue eyes once more. The action had Shay getting swept up in another brief current of arousal and she found herself biting down on her own lip with a dusty pink blush spreading across her cheeks. Her eyes lingered on his lips for longer than necessary…

“Her and my mom both, they’re a little too invested in our lives… They’re going to spend the whole festival gabbing about us you know.” Cash crooned causing Shay to pull her eyes off his lips to meet his gaze with a sheepish smile on her face. Cash returned her gaze of course but she could’ve sworn Cash’s blue orbs had been lingering on her lips the same way her green ones had been on his. Shay awkwardly cleared her throat and realized their fingers were still perfectly intertwined like two pieces of a puzzle. Sometimes Shay thought she and Cash were made for each other because she never really felt complete unless he was somewhere near. In fact, she felt mostly empty without him she swore he was the only one who could make her feel anything and everything….

“Yeah, I’m sure they are…I’m uh, not depressed you know.” Shay trailed softly, finally making an attempt to move towards the attic staircase. She half expected Cash to just let go of her hand at that point, but he didn’t. His grip only tightened on Shay’s small hand as they ventured down the hall towards the attic, almost like he was trying to keep her from slipping away from him somehow though she was sure it was just her mind running away from her again. Shay wondered how he hadn’t figured out she never wanted to slip away from him to begin with. If he’d asked her not to go to NYU all those years ago, she would’ve stayed in a heartbeat, without a second thought but he never did. So, she went off to live something resembling a life though it felt more like existing than living.

“I know you’re not depressed Cherry Blossom…nothing wrong with saying you’re having a hard time though. You wouldn’t be the only one, you know so, no judgement on my part beautiful.” Cash said in a gentle tone of reassurance, Shay felt her cheeks heat up again at the word beautiful rolling off his tongue effortlessly though she couldn’t help the wave of suspicion that washed over her. He hardly ever commented on her appearance after that bittersweet Valentines Day at the movies. Which she took as confirmation of his guilt for inviting her to fifth wheel on his double date at the time. Sure, Cash tried to make it up to her by taking her ice skating and buying her heaps of her favorite candy before retreating back to her house for one of their traditional movie nights.

“Right, Casanova. Are things not going so well for you over in New Jersey?” Shay said lightheartedly though her tone was sincere as she met his gaze for the first time since they wandered out of the kitchen. Cash looked down at her with an unreadable emotion swirling in his eyes just as they stopped their stroll at the bottom of the attic stairs. Shay could feel the sudden emotional shift between them almost instantly and she found herself regretting asking such a prying. She knew a serious conversation between them was inevitable, but she so wished it could wait until she was done holding his hand…

“Jersey is… alright I guess I don’t really know many people outside of the department so, it gets a little lonely. I spend most of my free time staring out my apartment window, watching the waves on the Hudson River.” Cash said softly, Shay caught the faintest hint of a blush sweep across his cheeks at the admittance and found herself wondering why he found such a detail embarrassing.

“I think most adults do that Cashy that’s nothing to be embarrassed about, making friends in adulthood is hard I only talk to people from work too. At least you have a good view of the water, my loft is big and all, but all that space makes it feel quite lonesome and on top of that it only has views of the Manhattan skyline. I’d prefer the Hudson River; you know for homesick sake.” Shay said sheepishly, she wasn’t sure why she’d openly complained about her sequestered loft in such a way. She’d complained about such a thing once to a coworker and was met with the poor little rich girl spiel about how she should be grateful she had a nice expensive loft in the heart of Manhattan. And Shay could understand why she should be grateful to some extent, but a spacious loft didn’t take away the fact she now had no one to share it with. Cash tugged on Shay’s arm slightly, pulling her out of her inner ramblings with a serious look in his ocean blue eyes.

“Well, my apartment is on the smaller side, but I’ve got a view of the river and Manhattan Cherry Blossom. I wouldn’t even charge you rent considering you’re on the fence about making a career shift and all…” Cash trailed nonchalantly, Shay raised her brows at him in dumfounded surprised as she processed what he was proposing to her right now. They’d had several conversations like this when they were kids, she remembered a particular conversation when they were about ten. When Cash declared they’d run away from Plymouth and be together forever, promises only a child untainted by the morose weight of adulthood or the woes of adolescence could make.

“Are you…asking me to move in with you Cashton?” Shay asked with her eyebrows still raised in surprise even as her green eyes took in the fact that his expression was undoubtedly sincere. Cash nodded his head almost instantly.

“Well yeah, I think it would solve both of our lonesome problems and you’ll save a ton of money moving out of the city. Just letting you know it’s an option, I don’t need an answer right away or anything just think about it Cherry Blossom.” Cash shrugged nonchalantly, in a way that made it seem he was talking about something as casual as the weather. Shay nodded her head in acknowledgement even though she had no intention of actually considering such a proposition. Her feelings for Cash Ewing were way too deep for Shay to needlessly torture herself by being his roommate no matter how much she wanted to.

“I don’t think I want a roommate Cash but thanks anyway…um, let’s get started on cleaning huh” Shay said shifting the conversation to something seemingly less daunting and awkward for the time being. Cash nodded his head wordlessly, but Shay thought she saw a hint of dejection in his eyes even as he tightened his grip on her hand yet again as she began to walk up the stairs. An obvious thick layer of uncomfortable silence had fallen between them now and Shay couldn’t help the guilt now swirling in her stomach at the look on Cash’s face no matter how brief it was.

“I haven’t been up here in ages… I see your mom’s been busy with renovation too. It’s very cozy up here now” Cash said trying to ease some of the tension in the air when they halted at the top of the stairs. Shay nodded her head in agreement, taking in the new plush sectional, freshly painted walls and sleek entertainment center her mom had put in the attic sometime over the last few years.

“That makes two of us, no clue why she wanted a second living room, but it looks nice. The last time I was up here I was redoing my bedroom, that’s what most of this stuff is. Some of it’s yours too though I guess, from when your mom redid the basement. You want to bring some boxes over and I’ll plug in a movie?” Shay asked softly, Cash nodded his head once again, but Shay was happy to see a smile make its way onto his face for the first time since they left the kitchen.

“Sure thing gorgeous, but I’m going to need my hand back” Cash said in a soft teasing tone that had Shay’s face flushing a vibrant shade of pink. She reluctantly unlatched her now clammy hand from Cash’s larger one just as a sheepishly nervous string of laughter escaped her lips. She could hear Cash chuckling under his breath before placing a ginger kiss into her hair for the third time today.

“We’ll be holding hands again before the days over, trust me, Cherry Blossom. Why’d you redo your room anyway if you don’t mind me asking” Cash said lightheartedly, Shay watched him pile large cardboard boxes into his strong arms for an embarrassing amount of time. She couldn’t help but be transfixed by the way his rippling biceps flexed with every move he made She had to all but force her feet to walk over to the entertainment center so she could focus her eyes and rein in the implosion of impure thoughts and inklings that stomped through her head at the sight.

“Just wanted something new it was all a bit juvenile, and I know you thought the pink and orange were nauseatingly obnoxious. I thought you’d like the muted blues and grays better, but you didn’t really come over that much after that summer a…” Shay shrugged to herself as her hands rummaged through the entertainment center’s cabinets full of old DVDs and VHS cassette tapes.

“No Shay, I loved your bedroom that way what gave you the idea that I didn’t?” Cash asked seriously. Shay could tell he was near the couch now even with her back turned towards the TV, she let out a soft sigh as she finally settled on When Harry Met Sally for the time being.

“Cash, you don’t have to lie alright I heard you telling Pete and Opal May that you hated it, it’s really okay. I don’t care about it anymore believe me.” Shay said dismissively, placing the disc in the player and hitting the close button. She made sure to wipe the trace of a scowl off her face before she turned around to meet Cash’s gaze, his eyes looked a mix of confusion, anger, and offended all at the same time when they met hers from his spot on the couch. He looked surprisingly small surrounded by heaps of brown boxes full of long forgotten repressed memories and feelings….

“I don’t know what you overheard Shaylee but it’s just not true. I really liked your room I spent more time in yours than I did my own because everything in it was warm and comforting. Especially when my dad was around, I couldn’t really sleep well anywhere else because I felt safest there with you.” Cash said in a way that was so soft and vulnerable Shay swore she felt her heart melt and shatter simultaneously. Shay’s brain didn’t quite register exactly when her feet had carried her over to the couch or Cash’s side but before she knew it, they were face to face. Close enough to kiss him if she wanted to but she couldn't go there…

“If I knew it was that level of comforting for you Cashy, I never would have changed it, I’m so sorry…” Shay’s voice was barely a whisper by the time her arms had flung themselves around his neck in the form of a tender embrace. She could feel Cash snake, his strong arms around her waist and the warm tantalizing caress of his hot breath hitting her cheek and hair as he buried his face in the crook of her neck.

“It’s okay Cherry Blossom, really” Cash cooed out in a reassuring tone just as his hands started to run along her spine in soothing circles. Shay let out a content sounding sigh at the action and felt small waves of whatever emotion was bubbling inside her leave her small form with every pass Cash’s hands gently made over her exposed skin.

🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝

[ineed-to-sleep]

Just guys being dudes

[tojiscrack]

to my all little liars!! (edit: wtf happened to my english? 😭)

we’re at 24.6k words rn 😟 if you plan on reading it next week, i recommend you read it on the weekends when there’s no school or work for you waiting in the morning 😀

calling in the troops rn ‘cause there’s still one final scene i have to write and it’s gonna be LONG (this isn’t including the bonus scene btw) but it’s extremely important for the story to continue, and without it, the rest of the story literally cannot go on 😭

we’re locking in guys. it’s 100% gonna border 30k words for sureee. sm has happened in that ONE chapter and i literally cannot wait to release it for all of you, you have no ideaaa

gonna go to bed and then wake up, study, break, write for the fic, repeat. had to randomly drop an update here cuz i’ve been edging you guys for so long i’m sorryyy, but it really is nearly here <333

edit: fck it guys i’m writing it rn (the immediate comments got me motivated)

[flores-desyatov]

🩷🤍💚

[soaps-mohawk]

Idk if someone’s asked this yet but Simon bit her above the collarbone during it. Did he mark her?

He bit her on the collarbone, but no. He didn't mark her.

Sorry to everyone hoping for it but he is nowhere near that point in their relationship.

[onesnoopyaday]

Snoopy #33

3/11/2024

[rivnedell]

WIP Wednesday

Okay........ I blame my friends for being so inspirational.

Here's another Joel wip, adding to my distress.

English is not my mother tongue, so please excuse any mistakes. Constructive critics are welcomed. Happy reading ! ✨

The sun is setting as you're waiting on the sofa, settled, nestled actually, in front of the patio door, opened on the terrace and the garden. You're breathing at the fresh air, typing on your phone when your Mom stepped down the stairs and appeared in the living room, her misty perfume tracing in the air, and you then hear the door bell ringing.

You took a deep breath and stand up from the couch, rearranging the hem and sleeves of your shirt while walking.

"Hi.." You exclaim while opening the door, excited to finally meet the man who has been making your mother smile like no other man in years.

Your voice stops when your eyes fall on the man standing under the porch, a rush of electricity ran your spine, sending shivers to your neck and warming up your cheeks. You can even feel them becoming red, adding to your distress.

"Hey, I'm Joel. And you must be.." His voice is raw, low, yet with a hint of cheerfulness and his smile enlightening his face, reaching to his ears.

You reply by your name, a mix of timidity and enthusiasm, suddenly seized by his dark gaze, feeling your left hand grasping the nod of the door firmly.

There he was, Joel. His name now resonates in your mind like he has just whispered it your ear, reaching your heart with a rush of heat washing all over your chest and down your guts. He's much taller than you. Dark, graying curls framing his strong face. Plain, pink lips parted in a charming smile, his eyebrows raised playfully to let his dark eyes lock on you. You dare to disconnect with his gaze to scan down his body within two seconds, your eyeballs flickering between his lips and his waist, wandering over his chest and down to the jeans, bringing out his longs and slim legs.

And something has happened when your eyes has met his again. Something that you know that was bad. You press your lips together, feeling your free hand curling on itself around the fabric of your shirt, before you finally step away, opening the door wider to let him in. He heads towards you, displaying a charming smile, passing you with his face still fixed in your direction, leaving you lost in the traces of his scent in the hall. Sandalwood, leathery and smoky, with hints of sweet hit your senses, making your mind twist in spins as you closed the door. You turn around and land your gaze on him again, enjoying the view of his broadness, his legs joining his back in a narrow waist, his neck partially hidden under his hair. A sigh escapes your lips, your hands still crossed between your back and the door, before you recollect our mind and head left to he kitchen, going for checking the oven as to occupy your lingering thoughts, but your mind was already elsewhere.

-

Thank you for reading !

@the-mandawhor1an @evolnoomym @baronessvonglitter @fhatbhabiee I know you're waiting for this one 👀

Let me know if you want to be tagged for this one ! ✨

Pics not mine

[samuelroukin]

5k words in and he already nutted… no hope for this guy at all

[seldompathic]

I know I've been MIA, but I'm cooking something big, I promise! 🌟

[lae-zels]

enemies to lovers is out 🏃‍♂️❌👈 aliens to lovers is in 💗👽😊💕

[maelstrom007]

New Face, Who This?

Don't mind me, just playing in the sandbox that is @ghouldjams cod fae au. Mal switches things up, as they are wont to do, and trips up a certain fae in the process. Featuring ghouls oc Witch who I adore.

Mal looked at themselves in the mirror. They turned this way and that, but something just felt. . . off. Pursing their lips they sighed, changing into the fifth outfit that morning. Ugh, still not right. 

“Maybe it’s time for a change,” they murmured. When was the last time they did this? Twenty years ago? Maybe more? Yeah, it was time to switch things up. 

Stripping bare, they stared at the mirror once more. It was always easiest if they could see what they were doing. To start Mal focused on their face, studying the wide jaw and square face they had become accustomed to for the last however many years it’s been. Reaching forward toward their reflection, fingers splayed, they twisted their wrist. Mal’s reflection fractured, tesselating out in patterns and colors like a kaleidoscope, before suddenly snapping back into place. 

The face staring back at them was much softer, rounder around the cheeks with a charming mouth. Some things remained unchanged, like their fiery red hair and their bold eyebrows. For whatever reason they always stuck around. 

Moving on to the rest of their body, they wanted to move on from the sleek and slim rectangular build. In the end, they went for something a little more filled out, hints of muscle and practical strength within a sturdy frame. They’d have to workout to maintain it, they were using magic afterall, not working miracles.

With the excitement of a new canvas, finding an outfit was easy, opting for a long sundress. The lack of sleeves accentuated the new muscles in their arms nicely, while also complementing their new more feminine face. A last little splurge of magic allowed their hair to grow just long enough to place in a messy bun. 

As usual, the day was rather slow, mainly spent at their combination check out and consultation table project planning for recent clients. Creating patterns, planning dye lots, etc. etc. Their project ledger wasn’t completely full yet, so their curtains were pulled wide open, and a sign that said ‘Welcome, during business hours’ hung from the door. 

This meant that a certain handsome fae could slip in with no resistance, immediately waltzing up to the counter with a confidence that should have been annoying, if they weren’t in such a good mood. 

“Well hello, I - oh.” He started his greeting, but stumbled mid way through as Mal looked up from their ledger. 

They raised an eyebrow, “Hello to you too.”

Confusion was visible on his face, “Sorry, I was just expecting someone else.”

“And who would that be?”

“The last time I came in, maybe a little over a week ago, there was someone else here. Kind of small, very cute, with shaggy red hair almost the same color as yours.”

“Hunting for information, are we?”

A boyish glint sparkled in the others eyes as he leaned over the counter, “Now that I think of it you two look quite a bit alike. You two wouldn’t happen to be. . .siblings, would you?” 

Before Mal could even begin to think of a way to respond to that Witch glided in through the door, the wards tingling in delight and recognition of their clever creator. “Oh my gosh you will not believe the tea I have for you today, I heard that -” 

It only took Witch a second to notice the changes, and only a few more to piece together what Mal had done, “Wow!!!! You look great! I love what you’ve done with your hair, and that dress looks gorgeous on you, did you make it yourself?” 

Gossip forgotten, Witch ran up to dote on Mal, feeling the material and gushing over their new look. After a few minutes of this, the fae man coughed gently. 

“Shit! Sorry, I’ll let you finish up with your customer,” Witch said.

“Oh, I’m not a customer,” he said.

“Then what are you?”

“A nuisance,” Mal said, “a nosy one at that.”

Witch snorted, but said nothing. 

If he took offense to Mal’s comment, he didn’t show it, “All I want to know is who that fae is that I talked to a few weeks ago. About yea tall, pretty hands and shaggy red hair kind of like yours? Tell me, is red hair and attractiveness a job requirement? Or am I just incredibly lucky?” His lopsided grin would have been annoying if it didn’t look so good on his face.

Witch opened her mouth, “M-”

At the sound of their name starting in Witch’s mouth, Mal gave her a desperate look in warning. Even though ‘Mal’ wasn’t really their true name, it’s not something that they gave out left and right, let alone to loitering mystery fae. 

With barely a stumble in her speech, she corrected herself, “My friend here runs this shop by themselves. And damn well at that.”

He chuckled, “Well then, aren’t you full of surprises.” This time, Mal didn’t miss the once over he gave them. When their eyes met, his golden eyes looked molten hot. 

A blush rose to their cheeks unbidden, and Mal brought their hands together in a decisive clap, “Well! If you’re not a customer I must ask you to leave immediately as is shop policy,” a delicate line of fine print illuminated itself in recognition on the welcome sign, “Good day to you sir.”

The typically controlled and smooth wards were swift and erratic as they buffeted the mystery fae towards the door, however he resisted them as much as he could, “Tell me your name! What may I call you?” He called out frantically, attempting to brace himself against the wards unseen force. 

Mal raised their hand to aid in one final push to send him out the door, but paused as their eyes met once again. There was a desperation and sincerity in his features. Before Mal knew what they were doing they opened their mouth. 

“You may call me a fox, sir hunter, for that is all I am to you.” 

“And a lovely Fox you shall be,” he said, before he was sucked out of the door and summarily deposited on the street, curtains closing with a solid thwunk. 

The silence was thick in the shop before Witch broke it, voice strained with barely contained laughter “~You may call me a fox for that is all I am to you~”

“Shut upppp”

“Well, he’s a handsome hunter, I'll give him that.” 

Mal put their head in their hands, “He’s a nuisance and nothing more.” 

“Suuuure.”

They giggled desperately, “He is!! He comes waltzing in saying that he doesn’t want anything and then I kick him out cause he’s loitering!”

“God Mal you’re insufferable, he’s flirting with you you idiot.” 

“He is not.” 

“If you say so. But you best believe that I am going to bring this up over dinner because never in the time that I’ve known you have I seen your wards react like that.” 

Mal raised their head, eyebrows furrowed, “Dinner?”

Witch gave them a confused look, before letting out an exasperated sigh, “I forgot to say it out loud huh.”

“Yup.”

“Well, your ass, my house, I’m making dinner cause I haven’t had you over in ages. Be there or be square.” 

“I wonder if I could actually turn myself into a square.”

“Dammit Mal.”

[deadmcnwalks]

((Oh BOY!!))

For Blake 🐸 New/Developing Friendship ♝ Found Family 🔮 Queerplatonic 💋 Bad/Good Influence➣ One-Sided Crush ((always this boy Jonas god I tell you)) ♔ One Night Stand 📘 Newly Started Romance ♧ Friends To Lovers

For Shadowman: 🚦 Enemies 💦 Bully/Victim ((TOXIC LUV Jonas has a very bad habit of somehow getting romantically attracted or interested in entities/people that can and will kill him lol))

[mvalentine]

my favorite stubborn little pirate man <333

[fluffypotatey]

*thrashing against the lmk authorities* hey…hey y’all *struggling to grasp the door back to the teen wolf thiam fandom* hey i just had this great thiam au— *they pull me back*

[honnelander]

Just wanna say I read through your masterlist works today and found myself loving them. Never would I have thought that I’d be in awe of a soft Homelander, and yet there I was aweing

aw wow- this is so sweet, thank you! 🥹

i find homelander such an interesting character bc he’s so awful but then there will be the tiniest and smallest of moments where he shows his humanity and I just 😩 feel so bad so him lol

ngl I didn’t think i could pull off soft!homelander without him being OOC but i certainly tried my best

[ritz-writes-archive]

Guess who's baaaacckkk~