#not so good of a year for documentary features though... only two of these are over an hour in length 😬

[spectrumtacular]

Top first-time watches of 2024 (documentary edition)! Fiction film edition here.

My thoughts under the cut.

Glenn Gould: Off the Record / Glenn Gould: On the Record (Kroitor and Koenig, 1959)

Terrific little two-parter by the NFB that gives a really interesting glimpse of Gould's personality, eccentricities, and above all his talent -- like I'm not even a Bach guy but Jesus Christ, Gould's just banging out brilliant interpretation after brilliant interpretation like it's nothing!!! Really love the juxtaposition between Gould at home (Off the Record) and at work (On the Record), the way he speaks about his music and plays for himself vs the way he records it and performs it for others (and the way they react to it!). Easily my favourite NFB doc, hands down.

Tokyo Olympiad (Ichikawa, 1965)

The visuals in this one are CRAZY. The torch-bearer running past Mt. Fuji, the contortions of the pole vaulters as they push themselves higher and higher, the lone marathon runner closing out the games... it's poetry in motion, a stunning portrait of victory and loss that perfectly showcases the beauty of sport. Also there's the added bonus of it not being Nazi propaganda like Olympia (being the other seminal Olympics doc), making it much easier to enjoy the sexy sexy pole-vaulting sequences.

City of Gold (Koenig and Low, 1957)

Another banger from the NFB!!! The film that pioneered the Ken Burns Effect before Ken Burns did, and also made me obsessed with the Klondike Gold Rush for like a month!!! Loved the choice to make it personal, to have it be the narrator's story of his family and his hometown rather than just a dry overview of the facts; it helped Dawson City feel like a real place even while playing up the whole mythic grandeur of the gold rush thing. I've said it before and I'll say it again: nobody is doing it like the NFB.

Black Is... Black Ain't (Riggs, 1994)

Marlon Riggs is my favourite documentarian so I'd been looking forward to this one for quite some time, and it didn't disappoint. Though I prefer his more experimental works (Tongues Untied is my all-time favourite doc), I do consider this to be his magnum opus; part exploration of the way homophobia and sexism function within the black community, part deathbed confessional by a man who still has so much left to say, it's the culmination of style and ethos that Riggs spent his career working towards. Highly recommend watching Ethnic Notions as a companion piece; it's really interesting to note Riggs' evolution of style as he returns to many of the same points a decade later.

Symposium: Ladder of Love (Sheehan, 1996)

Kind of cheating to slide this one in here as it's stretching the definition of documentary; it's an anthology film by Nik Sheehan and his friends about their personal definitions of love, anchored by a group discussion about the films and the general Toronto queer scene of the 90s. The shorts vary in quality (I will never be a Scott Symons enjoyer), but for the most part I felt they were imaginative, thought-provoking, and deeply moving. This is one that's gonna stay with me for a long time.

Statues Also Die (Marker, 1953)

A really interesting essay doc about the treatment of African art in Western culture -- the way it's been stripped of meaning through colonization, devalued and commodified by a society that has no interest in the particularities of African cultures. Suffers a bit from being made by Frenchmen in the 1950s (woke for their time, but 50s-era Frenchmen nonetheless), but still raises some very interesting questions about the Western art canon, and the effect of Westernization on the African art canon.

[petermorwood]

Recently I got roped (ha) into an Age of Sail roleplay, and decided I wanted to play the ship's cook. I then realized I don't know too much about provisioning a ship in the Age of Sail! I figured you'd be the sort of fellow to know where I could find resources on that kind of information though?

Well, for a start I recommend sending a similar Ask to @ltwilliammowett (Beat To Quarters) who knows far more about The Age of Sail / Wooden Ships & Iron Men subject than I do.

*****

In the meanwhile here are a couple of books, both of which you may well be able to get through your library, or buy pretty cheaply for your research library. They're also an entertaining read.

The first was recommended to me by Terry Pratchett - "'If you haven't read it, you should!" - when we were at a con together and he was researching "Nation".

It's "Feeding Nelson's Navy" by Janet MacDonald, available here as an ebook and from Amazon as a Kindle Unlimited free read.

The second is "Lobscouse & Spotted Dog" by Anne Chotzinoff Grossman & Lisa Grossman Thomas.

Funny how both books use the same period image - "Shipmates Carousing Below Decks" by William Pyne - as cover art.

"Lobscouse" deals with the same period as "Navy", while also being the author-approved official cookbook of Patrick O'Brian's "Aubrey / Maturin" novels.

Here's a Reddit about making dishes from it, and here's a blog page about making Spotted Dog and why Suet Makes a Difference.

I've already posted about the role correct cooking fats play in making traditional dishes "taste right", and since Atora brand makes both carnivore and vegetarian suets, it's worth tracking down.

Here's a blog page which summarises the Age of Sail diet - think of it as an exam crib to tide you over until you get the books and learn more.

*****

Here's Max Miller of "Tasting History" making lobscouse:

And here are Dylan Hollis and Max making that ubiquitous on-board delicacy and culinary ingredient, ship's biscuit (hardtack / hard-tack / hard tack).

Something very similar was still issued as a ration item at the beginning of the 20th century and into World War One. J.R.R. Tolkien would certainly have encountered Biscuits, Ration, H&P, Army No.4...

...and may well have used them as a basis for the waybread "cram" as mentioned in "The Hobbit" and "The Lord of the Rings". This description has the ring (hah!) of familiarity about it.

"If you want to know what cram is, I can only say that I don’t know the recipe; but it is biscuitish, keeps good indefinitely, is supposed to be sustaining, and is certainly not entertaining, being in fact very uninteresting except as a chewing exercise." "The Hobbit" ch.13, "Not at Home"

No.4 biscuits were so hard that soldiers could use them as substitutes for wood...

...and Nelson's sailors probably did the same with theirs.

*****

Terry Pratchett took this wooden quality and - with the dial turned up to eleven - transformed it into the rocky quality of Dwarf bread.

Here's a health nut's real-life version of a healthy nut loaf...

...while this is an example of sedimentary conglomerate rock.

With a bit of judicious cropping, the captions could be swapped and a casual glance would never notice.

Of course this post wouldn't be complete without a certain GIF.

So...

*****

To finish, a few links to more video.

One (12 years ago).

Two - 1 year, including some of the ship's biscuit made in that first one (!)

Three - also 1 year, featuring other dishes - pease pudding ("dog's body"), lobscouse and plum duff. Oh, and ship's biscuit ...

Those are from Townsends, another great source for 18th century food and cooking.

This last example is by Dan Snow, in an extract from a longer History Hits documentary, and is a short general overview of period Navy rations - and of course, ship's biscuit... :->

HTH !

[shubblelive]

— HYPOTHETICAL CAT

summary : your first time staying with wilbur since the beginning of your long-distance relationship, and you're already dreading leaving him. luckily for you, you may not have to.

genre : fluff

warnings : slightly dialogue heavy?? not proofread unlike usual but i think we're good

pairing : cc!wilbur soot x cc!fem!reader

pronouns : none (you/yours) BUT wilbur referrs to reader as a girl

featuring : cc! wilbur soot

requested : Could you do a wilbur fic where him and the reader have a long distance relationship? And one day when she comes and visits him, he admits he cant go such long periods of time without seeing her, so he proposes that she moves in with him, the rest is up to you, thank you! xx

word count : 873

note : okay i wrote this all in one day which i never do but it was a struggle. but, i power through for you guys. i hope you enjoy this <33333

No one told you when you started out that your favourite thing about content creation would be the webcam quality. Of course, it was definitely something you could live without, but on nights when it was just you and Wilbur, a video call on your desktop as your sun rose and his set, the fact that you could see him in picture perfect vision was occasionally the only thing holding you together. 

But then suddenly, he was right in front of you.

You and Wilbur had been together for nearly three years, meeting at a creator event ages ago. You’d seen him at a panel and he’d waited in line to meet you just to give you his phone number, asking you to call him, and two weeks later he was calling you darling. 

You’d known at that first meeting that you lived awfully far from each other, but that hadn’t been thought of as a particularly big issue until the two of you started dating, and then it was comparable to torture. You’d have semi-regular meetings where he’d fly to your place and stay with you for a couple of days. This time, though, this was different.

“You have been holding out on me,” your voice was heavy with sleep, your head in Wilbur’s lap as the two of you watched something, some nature documentary that was playing so softly it was almost designed to put you to sleep. “Your couch is so much more comfortable than mine is.”

Wilbur looked down at you fondly. “My bad,” he laughed steadily, careful not to be too loud. “I guess I thought that if you got to experience the wonders of my sofa you’d only wanna come here, I wouldn’t get to come see you as much.”

“I knew you and Mr Gardener had some weird thing going on,” you said, accusatory with a smile draped across your face.

“He makes you bread!” Wilbur defended. “How are you not obsessed with him?”

You cracked one of your eyes open sleepily, hand coming up to reach for his. He took it eagerly, drinking in your figure as you lay on his couch. “I’m pretty sure he’s not the one doing it.”

Wilbur threw his head back to rest against the couch, letting out a puff of air. “Okay, maybe Emily is the one doing the actual baking, but you can’t tell me that Mr Gardener doesn’t add to the experience.”

“I’m sure he does.” You hummed.

“You can not seriously tell me that baking a loaf of bread is not made infinitely better by the presence of a cat.”

You paused. “Okay, okay. It would be.”

Wilbur let out a pleased noise, moving down to run his hands up and down the exposed skin by your collarbone. “We should get a cat,”

His voice was barely loud enough for you to hear it, your eyes closed and his voice heavy with exhaustion. The two of you had been out all day on the first day of your visit, finally taking a moment to rest. 

“Should we?” You mused. “Who gets custody?”

Wilbur made a choking sound like the answer was obvious. “Well- I would, right?”

You forced yourself up, yawning as you brought your knees to your chest. “Why am I jealous of our hypothetical cat right now?”

Wilbur chuckled and reached for you, sitting forward on his knees, gently tugging at your calves until he was resting on your chest. “You don’t have to be,” he pointed out. “I’ve got a very big bed. And an entire section of wardrobe that I’m not using, and-”

“Wilbur,” you chided. “You know it’s not as easy as me simply never going home. Believe me, if I could spend the rest of my life curled into this couch, I would but-”

Wilbur sighed dramatically, pulling himself off you and standing up. “There you go, dream crusher,” he let out an exaggerated groan, taking you by the hand and pulling you up. His cheek was pressed against the side of your face, hands interlocked. “Crushing my dreams all crush-ier and dreamy.”

You let out a giggle as he poked your side. “You think I’m dreamy?”

“So dreamy,” he nodded. “Dream girl material right here, loves me, loves our future cat-”

“Loves your sofa,” you added dreamily. 

“And before I let you two get a room, please just consider moving in with me?” He begged gently. “Come on, wouldn’t it be so nice? Just you and me, I’d even let you name the cat. Please?”

“I’m not doing it for you.” You conceded. “I’m doing it for Rhubarb and all of the future kisses I am going to get from him on my new couch.”

He kissed you on the forehead. “Okay, I’ll leave you guys alone, I see where I’m not wanted.” He pressed another one on the side of your mouth.

“No,” you groaned, trying to drag him back on the couch. “I don’t have our cat yet, I need someone to shower me with affection.”

He huffed as he sat back on the couch, letting you collapse on top of him, revelling in the comfortable weight of you pressed against him. “Fine, fine. If I must.”

[haykawas]

what i think would be their go to halloween activities — ft. satoru, suguru, choso.

gojo satoru – trick-or treating & urbex.

trick-or-treating is satoru’s favorite, and it’s quickly become yours as well, though it hasn’t always been this way. of course, you love this holiday. however, you used to think adults should stick to parties at most, and never expected to indulge in such activities past your eighteenth birthday.

but it’s to be expected when you hang around the gojo satoru, because that man just doesn’t care. he’s never felt shame once in his life, does what he wants whenever he wants. he likes to show up in the most ridiculous costumes, too, and you often have to take a break to laugh it all out before you begin trick-or-treating. and he loves the sound of your laugh, he adores it – and some might say your smile is the only reason he tries so hard to come up with the most unhinged fits every year.

and it’s not surprising he loves this holiday so much. you know satoru has a sweet tooth, everyone does. and you do too. so, of course, once you’re done with your little escapades, you get back to his and immediately sit on his living room floor to sort out all the candy you’ve managed to gather, throwing out the bad ones and exchanging a few. 

one thing about satoru is that even though he doesn’t say it, one of his love languages is act of services. you’re not surprised when he tosses a candy to you, complaining about how he hates this one while you catch it with sparkling eyes, because of course, it’s your favorite –  and while he’ll never tell you, it’s his too.

another thing you love to do together is explore abandoned places. since you’re both a little crazy, you follow him in his antics quite easily, and it often seems like you two have one brain for two. before you go out, you both spend hours searching for the perfect spots, weighing the pros and cons of every location and going over the creepy stories of every one of them.

of course, you get to play cameraman, while satoru stands before the lens. you both love to pretend like you’re ghost slayers filming a documentary, and it’s sometimes hard to focus when he makes your sides hurt from the things he comes up with. you fool around and scare each other, and although he’ll never admit it, he’s almost shit himself more than once – because, to his dismay, you might be a little too good at scaring the shit out of him. yet he secretly loves it, the smirk you’re sporting when you manage to make him jump. and maybe it’s the quiet of the night, the soft glow of the moon that illuminates your features ô so beautifully, or even the curve of your lips that his eyes try to not focus on that prompts this sentiment, but he feels a bit funny looking at you that night.

geto suguru – making costumes.

making halloween costumes with suguru is always so much fun. you visit plenty of stores together, and you both have this little tradition that takes the form of a contest where you have to find the most hideous pieces of the store and put them together in order to create the worst fit ever. the downside? the loser has to walk around town wearing the winning costume. and one thing about suguru is he doesn’t play to lose, to your dismay. the bright side is that you always get to remind him of the one time he put together something so awful he managed to startle an old woman so badly she fell over, knocking down an entire aisle. he then spent the next thirty minutes apologizing profusely while you failed to hold back you giggles, his eyes sending daggers at you at the same time.

another thing about suguru is that he loves to help you get ready. yes, this man is an absolute gem. he knows how to do hair beautifully, as he’s used to taking care of his, so you let him handle yours very often. he’s very gentle with it, his slender fingers gliding through your locks as he thinks about the style that would fit you the most.

he helps with your makeup too, and takes it very seriously. he’s deeply focused as he doesn’t want to screw it up, his brows are furrowed in concentration and his lips twisted into a little pout as he applies your mascara. of course, you can’t help but avert your eyes. his gaze is always so intense, it just throws you off balance, but he doesn’t let you do so. instead, he takes your chin between two fingers, his tone firm as he tells you to ‘keep your eyes on him’ while he continues to work on your eyelids. oh, and next up are your lips.

kamo choso – pumpkin carving.

pumpkin carving with choso is so domestic. he invites you over because he knows you love manual crafts. you’re not good, granted, but you love it nonetheless. and it’s not just you two! yuuji’s there too, and the three of you first head out to visit the farmer’s market. there, choso tells you how to choose the perfect pumpkin, and you listen to him intently, your gaze soft as he loses himself in details – you don’t want to cut him off and tell him you’ve actually learned all about it before you came, the way he’s so passionate about the subject making your heart jump in your chest. 

he flushes red in embarrassment when he realizes he’s been rambling, asking why you haven’t interrupted his monologue as you shrug, feigning indifference. and yuuji smiles knowingly, snickering because his brother can be so oblivious sometimes.

and once you finally get to it, knives in hand, he can’t help but hover over you, worried that you’ll cut yourself — and he’s right to, really, with the careless way you hold the knife. so he stands behind you, his hand on yours as he guides you, showing you the safe way to proceed and giving you advice on the best way to shape your monster’s features. he chuckles with pride when you look up at him with a happy grin on your lips after you’ve managed to finish a pumpkin without losing a hand and praises you. he’s so supportive it hurts your cheeks from smiling too much, but you don’t tell him you know he’s just being nice, because you might’ve just carved the most horrendous pumpkin ever known to man. 

[gemsofgreece]

Do people say "happy Oxi Day" in Greece? I'm Greek American and have very little idea how people actually celebrate today

Hello and χρόνια πολλά! This is our go-to wish for every occasion, including the Ohi Day. For non-Greek speakers, it means "(here's to) many years". Before the day arrives we also wish "Καλή επέτειο!" which means ¨Happy Anniversary¨, meaning the Anniversary of Ohi (No).

The day is one of the two (or two and a half to be exact) national days Greece has. It is a national holiday, only restaurants and cafes are open for the people to celebrate. This day museums and archaeological sites are also open and they have a free entry. Everything else is shut down though.

The most notable thing about the No Day is the school and military parades that take place all over Greece. Remote areas with little population may only have school parades. Larger areas have a mixed school and military parade. Athens and Thessaloniki, the two largest cities, have separate parades for convenience. It is customary that on October 28th, the major military parade takes place in Thessaloniki and on March 25th it takes place in Athens. So today it was in Thessaloniki. The major military parade includes heavy artillery and shows from the air forces. Sometimes on these days surviving historical warships from the 40s are moored to the big ports for people to see and visit.

Photos from the military parade in Thessaloniki and an evzone who went viral for tearing up.

And one from the school parade in Athens.

This day most TV channels have a thematic Ohi program, featuring movies, documentaries and talk shows about WW2 and Greece's history in it.

Now the working day before the October 28th (and the March 25th) is also a school holiday, however students still attend the school and have celebrations there which they prepare with their teachers for quite some time. This school celebration includes reciting poems, speeches, theatrical plays and music choirs. The best student (aka the one with the highest grades) of the school is announced and receives the flag, which they will use on the national day because they become the school's σημαιοφόρος (simeofóros) flagbearer in the school parade. The next five best students become the παραστάτες (parastátes), who join the flagbearer in a parade formation a little in front of the rest of the school. Between the flagbearer and the parastates and the rest of the school there is often a διμοιρίτης (dimirítis) marching on their own sort of guiding the rest of the school, who is singled out for their stature and / or their good march, so they give the rhythm to the rest of the kids. The school march is joined by the physical exercise teacher who is responsible for it and walks on the kids' side.

Oh also early in the morning, before the parade starts, the students and the authorities of every region and I assume representatives from the military as well lay wreaths at associated monuments, usually monuments to the Unknown Soldier.

Of course, I forgot to say that aside from being a school and military parade, the parade also features surviving war veterans, folklore and traditional associations from all around Greece, the scouts, the Red Cross staff, the students of the military schools, the police, the firefighters and more.

Happy rest of the October 28th!

[convenientalias]

Good Books I Read in 2024, Placed in Specific Categories. Also They're All Queer This Time.

A follow-up on this post from last year.

Age Gap F/F Romance

I love age gap romance, and this year I read a variety of it <3. Greener Than Grass and Touchwood are both very grounded for age gap romances--I find age gap often comes along with huge power differentials, millionaires and CEOs etc, but these two books feature very normal older characters. The older woman in Touchwood is a bookstore owner; the older woman in Greener Than Grass is a documentary filmmaker. Mother of Pearl, on the other hand, is far from grounded, featuring not only a wealthy older woman (this is a sugar baby story) but a younger woman who's a fish person with, that's right, tentacles. So we cover a wide range here! One thing they all have in common is that you see the younger character trying to find themselves in the world after some kind of change or crisis, and the older character becomes a source of guidance and/or stability for them. Touchwood could even be called literary fiction, as it focuses as much on a coming of age story as on romance.

Magical soul bonds in a society where these soul bonds can be hierarchical (in maybe even a dystopian way)

Soulbonds are of course a romance trope, and I read them kind of often bc I love paranormal romance, but these three books specifically did really interesting things with the way it worked into their worldbuilding. Let Me Be Yours did this in the most typical way, as it's your classic f/f omegaverse for the most part, but the clash between traditional expectations for omegas and what the characters in the story wanted was really interesting to read and deeply affected the central relationship. The Lowest Healer and the Highest Mage features a world full of mage-healer bonds where mages are in a position of power and healers are only expected to serve them. The main character once sought to destroy this hierarchical system and starts out the story in jail for treason. Finally, A Crown for a Fox is set in a world with mage-familiar bonds between mages and shifters, where shifters are legally required to become familiars and subordinate to their mages. The MC is a fox shifter who has hidden this face about himself in order to remain unclaimed, and now uses his fox form to create an alternate identity for treasonous activities.

Speculative romance with the assassin who really should be trying to kill you.

The Blood We Spill is the only f/f version I read of this trope this year, though I would love to read more. It is also the longest and most lavish of these three books, with a poor little meow meow angsty assassin who is one of my favorite characters of the year. Poison Marked, in contrast, is short, just a little novella, and is unique in that it features an established couple where the fact that one of them is an assassin is well known--but as they're both members of the court and the assassin is sworn to obey the king, this won't save the assassin from being ordered to kill his boyfriend. Then there Prince and Assassin, which is the most straightforward infiltration-turns-to-romance plotline, with the only real twist being that the assassin didn't actually intend to seduce his target and ended up being courted entirely by mistake.

I love angsty assassins who don't ~really~ want to kill their target but are being coerced to do terrible things, so all of these books easily won me over.

M/m romance with characters with abusive or controlling families.

Of these three books, The Billionaire's Familiar is the lightest--the main characters both have clannish families that are very controlling, and perhaps even evil (at least in one case) but there's not much out and out abuse. Hidden Scars, on the other hand, might have the worst abuse backstory, and is the closest to real life, as it's actually a college hockey romance (somehow college hockey romances are really dark these days! I hear this is true in the world of m/f romance as well!). Echo, finally, has the most toxic central couple, with one character being super possessive and abusive himself--definitely one to check the trigger warnings before reading, that one.

--

On that dark note, I will draw this book rec post to a close! I read a lot of great queer books this year, many of which did not fit so easily into one of these categories--also some of which would have if I hadn't been so specific on my categories BUT I NEEDED TO NARROW IT DOWN SOMEHOW. Anyway I would recommend any of these books. You should read them <3 or if you already have read any of these, tell me so we can talk about i!!!

[thecoleopterawithana]

Eras: The Beatles | Episode 6 - Now and Then

In the final episode of Eras: The Beatles, we hear the story behind The Beatles' final single Now and Then, including new interviews with Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr. Narrated by Martin Freeman, the episode also features insight on the new track from Sean Ono Lennon, Olivia Harrison and Peter Jackson.

.

[This episode features more complete audio from the soundbites included in the 'Now and Then' short film/documentary. Under the cut are transcriptions of some of my favorite sections. Including Paul's interpretation of the meaning of 'Now and Then' (bonus points if you guess his answer!)]

PAUL: And then 'Now and Then' just kind of languished in a cupboard and we didn't do anything with it. I kept saying, "You know, maybe we should do something with this, seems a bit—" "Hm, I don't know..." There wasn't a great desire to do anything with it. So it hung around for a while. Years! And every so often, I'd kind of go to the cupboard and think, "There's a new song in there! We should do it! We gotta do it!" But it'd go back in the cupboard.

[...]

PAUL: Peter [Jackson] had sent me a text while he was doing the 'Get Back' thing. He said, "Here's a piece of dialogue of John's that I'd like to use, but George is rehearsing in the background," and you could hear George's guitar and you couldn't really make out quite what John was saying because it was distracting. He said, "But we've got this new technology: Machine Assisted Learning. M.A.L., so we're calling it MAL." Which was like— that was really cool! Because our old road manager and dear friend was Mal [Evans].

[...]

PETER JACKSON: I'd had this idea for two or three years about him [Paul] singing a duet with John. And the fact that we'd developed this software now allows us to separate the voices and the music meant that I could take a song that John and Paul were singing on, just separate John's vocal only, and Paul could have that for playing on stage. And then his band and himself could do the vocals and the playing for the rest of the song. So he could do a duet with John. He didn't even blink, he just said, "That's a fantastic idea, I love it! Let's do it!" And so we quickly turned that around and got that underway. So Paul was now touring with a John Lennon duet on 'I Got a Feeling'.

[...]

PETER JACKSON: I got a phone call from Paul saying, "Is it possible to use that technology for another project I've been thinking about? [...] Would it be possible to take John's vocal and clean it up and get rid of everything else? Because that would allow us to finish this Beatles song." And absolutely, it didn't take me more than about a second to get back to him and say, "Of course we can do it!"

[...]

PETER JACKSON: We assumed that the copy of 'Now and Then' that they were working to in the studio in 1995, where the vocals were coming from, was probably not a first-generation copy. [...] So we though, well this is probably a third generation [tape copy]. [...] And so we contacted Sean Lennon and he was very helpful. And sure enough, we got a digital copy of the original. Which is the same demo, same performance, but two generations better.

[...]

RINGO: I'm sitting there thinking, "I don't remember George doing that solo?" It was just like practicing, maybe. Cus it sounds like George! Then Paul said, "No, it's me." [laughs] But Paul did a great job. I mean, he's very good, you know, Paul. He's a very good musician.

[...]

RINGO: Giles [Martin] had to fly out to LA one day to listen to a four-hour string session that Paul wanted, and then fly back to England! [laughs] There's no string sections in England!

[...]

PAUL: Eventually, when we got to mix number 7 it was, "Wow, this is it! Now it's a Beatle record!" And we played it to various people, some of whom cried. Some of whom said, "Jesus Christ! It's a Beatles record!" But the reaction was very favorable.

[...]

RINGO: The difference from the two tracks of John, the old track of John— you know, we have to thank Sean as well, because he found the original tape. So that's the one you can really hear John, not the copy-copy-copies. And... it's like John's there, you know. It's far out. It's so clear now you know it's him. Cus on the original one we were working to I couldn't tell if it was Paul or John singing half the time. But now you know it's John! [chuckles]

[...]

PAUL: I think it just means 'now and then'. "Now and then, I have a cup of tea". I'm not sure it means an awful lot more than that. But, looking at it from today's perspective, now and then. Then you can start to get all sorts of meanings in. The modern-day, the historical past of the Beatles. It lines up with all of that. But we were always very happy to let people make their own minds up. "Here it is, it's a song. Now, the minute we deliver it to you, it's up to you. You can do anything you want with it." And people do!

[...]

RINGO: And that was what it was like for the three of us when we started this role in the 90s. We had to pretend— it always makes me laugh when I think of it— we had to pretend that he'd gone for a cup of tea or his lunch. But that he was still around. Because it was very strange when we started there's only three of us, after all those years, and all that life, that there were four of us. And I still miss him, man!

[...]

SEAN LENNON: It feels very synchronous that the lyric speaks about time and that it's taken so much time. That it sort of fuses the past and the present. It's like a time capsule. And it all feels very meant to be — or fated, or something — in the nicest sense.

[...]

PAUL: When I remember the Beatles, I remember the joy, the talent, the humor, the love. And I think, if people remembered us for that — for those things — I'd be very happy.

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (September 3-9, 2023)

I was a bit nervous about GAMERA -Rebirth-; the animation looked dodgy and Netflix has a shaky track record with kaiju shows. I'm pleased to report this is the best entry in the genre that they've put their name on. Good characters, great action (brutal as always), and actual episodic storytelling that effortlessly weaves in elements from the Showa films beyond all the returning kaiju. Watch it immediately.

Tie-ins abound for GAMERA -Rebirth-: a two-part novelization, a manga adaptation, and a prequel manga that sheds some light on [UNBELIEVABLY MASSIVE SPOILERS]. That prequel manga (GAMERA -Rebirth- code thyrsos) is being published online for free in both Japanese and English. You can read the first chapter here.

In unofficial translation news, English subtitles for GAMERA.1999 (1999) and yokaipedia (2022) are now available. The former is Hideaki Anno's making-of documentary for Gamera 3: Revenge of Iris; the latter is a fun, child-friendly fantasy from Godzilla Minus One director Takashi Yamazaki with a big ol' centipede-dragon at the end. (It's also maybe the first Japanese kaiju film I've ever seen with a major Black character.) I haven't gotten to GAMERA.1999 yet, though from scrubbing through it, it seems like a lot of dialogue was just ignored by the translator. Shame, as that's one I've wanted for a long time.

We have a teaser for Monarch: Legacy of Monsters, as well as a premiere date for the first two (out of ten) episodes: November 17. (I am being showered with Media for my 30th birthday.) The big news from this trailer is that John Goodman is reprising his role as Bill Randa from Kong: Skull Island. I assume that's going to be through flashbacks and old recordings only, since he was eaten by a Skullcrawler in that one. We also catch glimpses of two new creatures, a dragon and a crab from what I can tell. The latter looks to be fighting a Mother Longlegs.

Fandango and AMC have added mostly-empty listings for Godzilla 2000 on November 1. Fathom Events screened Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla on November 3 last year; despite randomly showing Tokyo SOS back in March, I gather they're making a tradition out of Godzilla Day. Note that the listed runtime is longer than the film itself. Predictions for the program: another message from Keiji Ota, the 2022 Godzilla vs. Gigan short, and the Japanese version of G2K. Interesting that they're running the last Toho Godzilla film to receive a wide release in the U.S. exactly a month before Godzilla Minus One has a wide release of its own here.

Gamera isn't a meta-defining Godzilla Battle Line unit... but he's Gamera in a Godzilla game, so I've been using him in every match since I unlocked him. He's gearing towards demolishing flying units, with fireballs that deal more damage against them and knock them back. A pity that he's arriving well after those units were at their most dominant.

Godzilla: Here There Be Dragons #3 still isn't giving me much to write home about, but the kaiju cult creeping to the forefront intrigues. Also cool to see Ebirah in a starring role.

Marubeni, one of Japan's biggest general trading companies, put out a bizarre commercial featuring samurai, zombies, a meteor, and a refurbished GMK King Ghidorah. The ad now has English subtitles, and you can watch a Ghidorah-centric behind-the-scenes video here.

I cannot believe I have more Cleopatra Entertainment fuckery to report on with regards to their Shin Ultraman releases, but they're truly trying to take the "Worst Film Company of 2023" title from the members of the AMPTP. Their third attempt at a barebones disc is starting to reach customers... but the ones who already received the initial replacement disc are being told no more will be sent. @starestream is trying to figure out if they'll be selling the third edition on their site, since it seems buying it anywhere else is a gamble. (Physically, the third edition looks almost the same as the first two, set apart only by the "SUBTITLED" text on the disc.) Either way, it's another blow to a movie that truly doesn't deserve this.

[freebooter4ever]

Hello! What would you recommend to help someone to get more into hockey? Thanks!

Also: I’m from BC, so I think my fav team is the Canucks? Idk

(Also I’m a penniless college student, I can’t pay for a streaming subscription haha)

oh my, what a question! first off i will message you privately about how to watch the games. Also if you have a friend who is willing to give you access to es*pn+ then its easiest if you pick an out of town favorite team because then you can stream all the games online! and im guessing you are looking for help understanding hockey itself? my favorite is:

I, uh, got into hockey weird though. I started by watching a bunch of history documentaries cause im much more a history nut than a sports fan. I also picked the new york rangers because one of my favorite actors is a fan of them, and i found artemi panarin to be the most intellectually interesting player in the league at the moment. So i started with the 1994 nyc documentary, and the 'peoples history of hockey in canada' doc, and various russian hockey docs, and the philly bully doc for masochistic funsies (i lived in pittsburgh ten years). And it was only after all that when i ran out of history docs on you*tube, i finally decided fuck it i will watch a live game. And then i got hooked. ;_; so be warned, it could happen to you too. I do think it's easiest to pick a player and follow just that guy, and it helps if the player you pick accidentally is one of the best in the league lol cause then they get more ice time. If he has a distinguishing feature like fluffy curly hair that pokes out of his helmet its easier to spot him on the ice too. until he shaves his head bald, then youre in trouble.

Of course you also have that one asshole who you swore you were gonna ignore except for one drawing because it was too much of a badass pose to pass up, but then he just keeps existing with his pretty brown eyes, being all endearing and quietly smart and too handsome for his own good. And then you're following two teams and slowly your bias starts shifting from the team you said was your favorite to your old adopted hometown team and next thing you know you got 400 drawings of this guys face which translates to over a year of doodling him every day holy shit what are you doing with your life. And then you start learning a new language. But thats probably just me. I dont know if i would reccomend getting into hockey like that.

[this-sapphic-paradise]

Barbie starts dating and Gloria feels jealous, maybe even an eventual love confession

Hope you like it!

And let me know if I should write a follow up!

"Mom," Sasha's exasperated tone makes Gloria's hackles raise before she can even finish her sentence. "You *have* to put yourself out there again. It's been what, a year since you and dad divorced." The teen looked at Barbie for support, but doll-turned-human used her perfect poker face, staring straight ahead to avoid being pulled into the discussion. (One year in the real world had been enough time to learn some social cues.)

"Traitor," Sasha mock-whispered at Barbie.

"It's *only* been a year," Gloria corrected, busying herself with dinner. "I don't hear you nagging Barbie to start dating."

"That's because I am dating," Barbie supplied, hoping to be helpful. (Not *all* cues.)

Gloria almost dropped the pan she was holding in her haste to turn around. "You are?!"

The look of shock and... sadness? in Gloria's eyes confused Barbie. "Should I not be?"

"No, no..." Gloria shook her head and softened her features into a careful neutral face. "Of course you should. You should date as much or as little as you want, just-" a sad smile tugged on her lips, "don't let bad people harden your heart, okay?"

Sasha observed the exchange, looking from her mom to Barbie and then back again. *Okay...* She mouthed to herself, knowing it would go unnoticed by the two women who were staring lovingly at each other.

"Whatever. What's for dinner?"

------

It's not like Gloria hadn't tried to get back into the dating game. She had downloaded all the typical apps—Tinder, Bumble, Hinge—, she had even ventured on Plenty of Fish before she understood the error of her ways and deleted her account immediately. But the apps made her feel like she was shopping for people, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth, and so, she had deleted them.

What was left for her to do? She wondered, still thinking about Sasha's incessant request a week after the incident in the kitchen, getting cozy on the couch under a soft blanket to watch the latest cult documentary (a welcomed change from all the murder true crime shows she watched). She wasn't in her twenties anymore, she didn't want to go out partying every weekend, so where was she supposed to meet men her age? Did men her age even want to date women as old as them??

"You have that look on your face," Barbie commented, joining Gloria on the couch and shimming under the blanket to make herself warm.

"The look of a tired, working mother?"

Barbie grinned, having grown rather fond of Gloria's little sarcastic quips. "No, that look is beautiful," she said earnestly. "The look that something is bothering you."

Gloria shook her head, trying to ignore how Barbie's honest compliments always sank sharp teeth into her heart. She pressed play on the remote and she pretended to pay attention to it simply so she wouldn't have to look into those soul-searching eyes as she spoke. "How has dating been going for you?"

"Hm..." Barbie took a second to think. "I've been on seven dates since last week—"

"What?!?"

Barbie blinked. "One each night, basically."

"How can you afford that??"

She shrugged, "I never have to pay for anything. All the men and women I've seen insisted on paying for me."

Gloria was mid thought of 'Of course they are paying for you,' when it registered that Barbie had said she was going on dates with women too. It should have been obvious, really, that Barbie would see women as perfectly viable companions, but for some reason Gloria had never considered that for herself.

"And... which have you liked best, women or men?"

Barbie scrunched up her nose as she thought about it. "It's difficult to find any man here who is interested in more than my looks and many of them are terrible kissers—though I'm not sure I'm a good one myself-"

"Of course you are," Gloria interrupted without thinking about what she was saying.

"Can you tell just by looking at me?" Barbie asked, wondering if that was another human thing she still had to learn.

"Uh..." Gloria blinked a few times, trying to come up with a good explanation for that intrusive thought at the same time as she tried to comprehend why the thought of Barbie not being a good kisser felt like an affront to her.

"I-I just know that you're very intuitive and kind, and I'm sure someone like that would know how to kiss well," she explained, hoping it sounded like a well-thought-out reason.

Barbie beamed at that, taking Gloria's words at face value.

"So, yeah, I think I'm much more inclined to keep dating women than men. But no girl has invited me nor agreed to go on a second date."

Gloria frowned again. How was that possible?? "Have any of them told you why?"

"They said they couldn't get into another situationship with a woman who's living with her partner and her daughter." Barbie shrugged and continued, "I don't know why that's such a problem for them, but if they see it that way, then I'm better off."

"Barbie..." Gloria tilted her head, her heart melting. "They think you and I are dating, or that we are exes but still live together. That's why they don't want to get involved." She chuckled, but her chest ached a little. "We *are* partners, but not in the way they think."

"Oh! Well... that makes way more sense now," Barbie laughed and got more comfortable on the couch, unbothered by the fact that a misunderstanding might have cost her a few dates.

-----

Rollerblading had been something Gloria and Sasha had taken up as mother-daughter bonding activity and both truly cherished the moments they spent together (even though Sasha still put up a bit of front as it was expected of a teenager).

They were enjoying the breeze as they skated down their regular route when Gloria suddenly blurted out, "Would it be weird if I started seeing women?"

Sasha almost fell flat on her face—not due to the question, but the abruptedness of it. She eyed her mother with an unreadable expression for a few seconds before smirking and asking, "Women or Barbie?"

"What?!? No! I mean-"

"Mom," Sash laughed, grabbing her mother's hand. "Either is totally fine and not weird at all. I mean, it'd be *really* weird to have a real life Barbie as a step-mom, but-" she shrugged, "I've been waiting for you to realize you've been in love with her from the moment you laid eyes on her."

Gloria wanted to deny it, she wanted to say Sasha was mistaken, that she had still been in love with her ex husband when they met Barbie, but she knew she would be lying. All Gloria could do was thank the heavens for the fact that Sasha did not seem to be traumatized by the changes in their family.

"There's no step-mom just yet," Gloria said shyly, choosing to stay away from heavy topics for the time being. "Do you think she would go on a date with me?"

"Are you kidding me?" Sasha scoffed, rolling her eyes at her mom. "I've seen the way you too look at each other. I think it gave me literal cavities. It's disgusting, really."

Laughing at her daughter's dramatics, Gloria sighed and said, "I guess I'll ask her out then." Her heart soared with the possibilities the future held, and she could only hope Barbie would say yes.

[gamerdog1]

Monster Hunter Film Review

We are truly lucky to be living in a time where video games are taken seriously. After years of filmmakers taking on the task of adapting games that they clearly don't care about, we're finally starting to see an era where games as a source material are respected. Just look at the 1993 Super Mario Bros movie, and compare it to the recent Illumination animated film, and you can see just how far we've come.

Though, I wish I could say for sure that EVERY video game adaptation is paying proper respect to its source material. I wish I could say that directors and actors excitedly flock to social media to brag about being part of a new video game movie, and take photos of themselves reading up on the source material (like Marvel does). I wish that every director, screenwriter, and producer that takes up the task of adapting a video game to film has done their research, and sets out to celebrate, instead of make a profit. Not everyone does, and in the case of the live action Monster Hunter movie, its clear that not everyone thinks so highly of what they're adapting.

Monster Hunter (2020) is another team up between director Paul W.S Anderson and lead actress Milla Jovovitch, which leads me to believe that they are either best of friends or have some contract to pump out weird video game movies till the end of time.

The film follows a squad of UN soldiers, who are transported to the world of Monster Hunter by a magical storm, and must fight to survive and get home. Along the way, their captain befriends a bowhunter, and the two work together to get back to our world.

Reading the IMDB synopsis for this film raised quite a few red flags, and unfortunately, the film did nothing to avert my expectations. Making the plot of this film an 'isekai' was a BOLD choice, and what's frustrating is that not much is done with that beyond a half-assed macguffin plot that only comes in at the last 20 minutes of the film. Having the main character come to the game world from our world only complicates the plot, because it steals the focus away from how cool this fantasy world is, and instead forces us to watch the main character figure out every detail of how life is different.

Going into a movie about the Monster Hunter games, you'd normally expect everything the games are about, but with a solid plotline. Long, epic fights against beautiful and dangerous dragons. Magical plants and animals, with lots of exploration. A rich culture full of colorful characters. Instead, we get long, drawn out sequences of Jovovitch wandering around the desert, or being in pain, with hardly anything interesting on screen. By the second 'I-don't-know-who-you-are-but-I-think-you're-evil-so-I'll-kill-you' fight in 20 minutes, I was begging for something different.

It also doesn't help that 80% of the film is set in the most non-descript desert you can imagine. Beyond one big rocky mountain, and small black spider pods, all we see throughout most of the film is an ocean of sand. I'm baffled that anyone on the filmmaking team thought that this was a good idea, in the adaptation of a game featuring dozens of lively and colorful destinations. Hell, even the games' deserts are more interesting, because there's more than just sand! A desert setting is fine, but there's clearly no effort being put in to make it look anything like the games, or anywhere a film should be set (unless your film is a documentary about sand dunes, that is.)

To make matters worse, the monsters (you know, the main focus of the games and film?) are rarely seen, and when they are, they're so unrecognizable that even I had trouble identifying them. Nerscylla, for example, are typically a slate grey with bright orange legs and amethyst colored spikes on their backs. The film, however, thinks they should be black-on-black-on-black horrors that lay eggs in people and are afraid of sunlight. Diablos, the big bad dragon that menaces the main character and her friends in the film, is supposed to be a tan colored herbivore, but I guess the filmmakers wanted it to be jet black and eat humans instead. The monsters show up sparsely, and when they do, they act like generic movie monsters instead of animals (like they should be): attacking and killing for meat, trapping prey in a nightmarish web nest deep underground, and chasing more to scare the audience than to pose a real threat.

If the monsters didn't piss me off first, the film's poor pacing, frustrating editing, and unfocused plot got me for sure. Much of the film is spent either wandering the desert, or standing around and talking, only occasionally interspersed with action sequences, which even if I wanted to care about, are cut up into shots so blindingly fast I couldn't tell what was going on. Quick editing in an action scene is one thing, but snapping from shot to shot so fast that your audience doesn't even have time to register what just happened is something a film should only do if they want a Razzie.

Even when things are still, the color correction in this film is shockingly bad. A nighttime scene slightly tinted blue? Sure. A nighttime scene that looks like they clearly films it during the day, then dipped the frames in navy dye? Yeah, no thanks. Most of the film is drenched in this dry filter that sucks all color from every frame, and just made it a pain to look at. I get that they were trying to convey the dryness and grittiness of the desert, but this is a video game. You can have color, and you really, really should. By the time the characters arrived at an oasis (NEARLY AN HOUR AND 20 MINUTES IN!) I was so shocked to see colors I nearly fell off the couch.

I have no idea what decisions went on behind the scenes while making this movie, but I can safely say that none of them did this movie any good. From the dry plot, to the inaccurate creatures, to the horrible editing, this film was a struggle from beginning to end. Sure, there were moments where I almost had fun (the Rathalos looked decent, and I liked Jovovitch and the bowhunter's dynamic), but beyond that, this is a generic film that masquerades as a big-name video game. If Capcom themselves were more involved with this movie (like how Nintendo was with the recent Mario movie), this could've been a wonderful film, but alas, we can't have everything.

4/10

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

Some horror movies I've seen so far this summer

I watched the Devil's Candy on Shudder today which was a really freaking excellent heavy metal horror film,. It was seriously good.

I heard a lot of mixed reviews for M3gan but I thought it was a pretty good solid movie.

I was disappointed in the remake of Children of the Corn. I watched it so many times back in the day (Outlander!! We have your woman!!" "He wants you too, Malachi!!"

I always remembered thinking if they just had had better CGI and effects they could have really done great things.

But the Remake instead of focusing on the religious aspect of everything turned it into a slasher movie starring children. And I was not impressed with how they depicted He Who Walks Behind the Rows.

Not at all.

Hellbender had some similar vibes and was a good rock and roll horror movie as well. Both had great young female leads. If you're looking for a modern witch tail that is a good one.

The Dark and the Wicked was really really good. If you're looking for something where people can't tell the difference between reality and hallucination this is the movie for you

I watched Antrum last week and that was great too. Very odd, had a 70's vibe. Very creepy and a whole lot of what the f*** is going on moments

Nope was extremely enjoyable as are all of Jordan Peeles movies. I feel like I need to go back and watch it again though is there a few things I just did not understand after I finished it.

Black Box had an unexpected twist so good to see Felicia Rashad again.

Super Dark Times was pretty good if a bit recyled. and the Girl on Third Floor really wasn't as bad as a lot of people made it out to be. And the best comment I've seen on Tumblr about that movie was Oh my God it's only 10 minutes into the movie and he's already fingering the house.!!! CM Punk at his dickish best!!

For found footage movies, it does not get any better than Horror in the High Desert. I actually had to go online and ask somebody is this a movie or did this actually happen?

Speaking of mock documentaries, even though I did not see this this past year it's been a while since I've seen it one movie that scared the absolutely living hell out of me is called The Nightmare and if you ever get a chance I think it is on both Prime and shutter go check it out I won't say anything else.

Out of everything I think the most fun scary movie I've seen so far is Mayhem plus it had Samara weaving who is my absolute favorite scream Queen of the new millennium.

Both mMayhem and nope features great Asian actors. And even though it is not a horror movie Honey Boy was..... a really really f***** up movie about the life of Shia LaBeouf. Even if you don't like him as an actor or maybe you've only like one or two of his movies really owe it to yourself to watch this movie because he had such a incredibly s***** childhood. Maybe not quite as bad as Corey Feldman but I think it's pretty much up there.

[femmmie]

Ian/Dan/Phil

Roll with me here

say no more Anon, I GOT you!!!

genre: angst, smut words: 1.327

Your Anthony

It was around Christmas in 2018. And Ian Hecox was not okay.

He sat on his couch, huddled up under a couple of blankets, empty packages of Ben and Jerry's on the ground next to him. He was clutching a bottle of vodka and casting YouTube to his tv.

"This is my weekend!" He thought, trying to justify his behavior to himself.

But all content on YouTube was shit. Maybe he should go back and watch war documentaries in stead. He clicked through a couple of particularly cringy cooking video's with YouTubers who had never even seen a single calory before but somehow pretended to love sweets. Pathetic! He clicked on.

Then he saw a Dan and Phil video. It was titled 'Phil is not on fire 10.

"Wow, they're still going strong at least," Ian thought. He had met them a couple of times, they were nice people. Very reserved though, and somehow mysterious. That was probably their appeal.

"I hope I don't get spontaneous epilepsy from this.."

The video was edited in a frantic, ecclictic way, but it was done very well. Dan and Phil weren't trying to appeal to anyone. They were really just weird like that. They'd drawn whiskers on their faces with sharpies and did random shit on Phil's bed. Somehow, Ian wanted to keep on watching.

"I'm like, hey, you just caught me in the Apple store..."

Dan and phil had just ironically ironed their hair straight and reminisced about their early years. Ian couldn't help but be reminded of those same years, and even earlier than that, when he and Anth.. Anthony, had been so happy together.

"Well, shit." Ian cried. He took another swing of his bottle for good measure.

A coupe of hours later he had watched all Dan and Phil's 'pinof''s and was now on their 'day in the lives'. He definitely noticed the visual similarities between Anthony and Dan, for instance that they were both incredibly pretty. Ian paused the video on a still of Dan. Dan was staring at Phil. Ian looked at Dan's face, his features were delicate. Maybe Anthony was a bit more boyish, and Dan a bit more feminine. Dan's eyes were a bit darker brown as well.

"I can see why Phil keeps him close," Ian thought.

His drunk thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of his phone. It was MatPat.

"Yo, Ian-meister! Are you up for a party with fellow mediocre white male youtubers? JUST KIDDING but accurate still. It's me, Jack, Ryan and Connor. Oh and Dan and Phil are here too, isn't that weird and fun?! COME ON IAN GET YOUR WHITE ASS OVER HERE!"

Ian smiled at the text. Matt knew he was going through it at the moment, and he appreciated how he was trying to cheer him up.

"Well, why the hell not actually." Ian got up, and immediately sat back down. He was too drunk for this. But he called an Uber and somehow made it to the party.

~

It was a typical YouTuber house on the hills. Everyone was incredibly nice and Ian started to sober up a little, until they served him more liquor. But most people there were on something so nobody judged.

"Hey, Ian from Smosh," Dan joked.

"Hey, Dan from Dan and Phil," Ian joked back.

"How are you?" Dan was the only one at the party who looked concerned for him.

"I mean.. I've been better," Ian laughed. "But I can't complain, really. We're pulling through, and I'm surrounded by incredible talent."

"I'm glad, man." Dan laid his hand on Ian's shoulder. Wow, he was incredibly tall.

"Why are you in the states, though?"

"We are having a reunion with all the tour crew from this year," Phil chimed in.

"Oh, how nice." Ian really liked when 'creators' were actually nice people. Because it was very rare. "I'm glad you're here, by the way."

"Aww thanks! We're glad too!"

They had some more drinks and at one point Ian remembered looking at Dan but his vision blurred and he didn't remember anything after that.

~

He woke up in a hotel room. Disoriented and with a massive headache. There were two beds. He lay in one, and two dark heads of hair snored softly, cuddled together, in the other. Ian sat up, slowly. He needed to pee so badly. But he had to take in this vision. Dan was spooning Phil, his leg sprawled over Phil's hip. The blankets only covering up some of their bodies.

This was so beautiful, and Ian felt privileged to be able to witness it. So why were tears streaming down his face? Why the FUCK could't he have this?! This level of intimacy, mutual love... Visions of him and Anthony in their many hotel rooms flashed before his eyes. There had certainly been opportunities. But they hadn't been able to go there. Only stolen glances. He had known Anthony was watching him undress. Shit. He walked to the shower.

Crying into the water streaming down, he started to rub himself off. It was nothing more than a morning boner, he told himself, not the sight he had just witnessed, the scene that could so very easily have been him and HIS best friend. Former best friend.

"Anthony..." Ian whimpered, but then he stiffened. He felt their presence. Were they... were they looking? Would he turn around and acknowledge them? They kept silent. So he decided to just continue.

"Anthony, why have we never taken the leap? It would have been so beautiful, Anthony.. I would have treated you like a fucking prince. I would have sucked you off every morning, noon and evening. You would absolutely want for nothing..."

He came and felt four hands wrap around him, in a warm hug, soft bodies pressing against him but hard dicks prodding impatiently. He hugged back, breathing hard.

"Ian," Dan whispered. "I can be your Anthony for now, if you want..."

Ian finally turned around and looked Dan in his slightly darker brown than Anthony's eyes. "Yeah, I would like that, actually."

Ian got on his knees in the shower, and took Dan's penis in his mouth. He looked at Dan's belly, softer than Anthony's, but tanned like him. It could work... He imagined Anthony standing there in the shower. Maybe they were at Vidcon and wanted to wash the day off. Anthony would always be so tired, he was an incredible introvert, although nobody would notice. Ian did, of course. And now Ian would take some of that stress away, give him a prober blow-job.

Dan moaned, Phil kissed him as Ian was still blowing him. Of course, Phil was still there, Dan and Phil were a package deal, after all. He felt Dan's dick get harder and harder, and then he thrusted hard into Ian's mouth, as Phil entered him. He moaned as he came into Ian's mouth. Ian stood up, looked up at Dan as he swallowed and kissed him. Dan had to bend over a bit but kissed back gladly, Phil had slowed down for the tender moment. Ian took a few steps back and leaned against the shower wall. And Phil sped up again, sensually moving and worshipping Dan's body as he penetrated him. Dan was very loud. After a while, Phil came and everyone washed off, and they went back into the hotel room.

"So, that was nice," Ian said, grinning.

"We don't often do this, by the way," Dan said.

"Don't worry about it," Ian reassured him. "I won't tell a soul. You know I can keep a secret or two."

"You're amazing, Ian," Phil said lovingly. "Let's keep in touch?"

"Yeah."

Ian called another Uber. When it arrived, he hugged the giant British guys, and looked at Dan one last time. "You're such a beautiful guy, Dan, I can't get over it."

"That's a very high compliment, coming from you," Dan said, beaming.

"Bye, Ian."

"Bye."

~ Fin ~

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 24/02/2024 (Dua Lipa, Djo, Calvin Harris/Rag'n'Bone Man)

Guess we know who’s winning the Civil War - Beyoncé’s “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” usurps Vermont on the throne of the UK Singles Chart. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

It’s kind of calming to have a week where outside of some new entries, of which there are only a handful to begin with. So, as always, we start with the notable dropouts, which are songs exiting the UK Top 75 (what I cover) after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid adieu to a small selection of songs but some of which are pretty important. Sure, I guess we can say good riddance to “MY EYES” by Travis Scott (featuring uncredited vocals from Justin Vernon of Bon Iver and Sampha) and “Body Moving”  by Eliza Rose and Calvin Harris without much fret, but we also see dropouts from the Barbie soundtrack with both “What Was I Made For?” by Billie Eilish and “Dance the Night” by Dua Lipa leaving, as well as Sam Fender’s “Seventeen Going Under” making yet another exit though I’m sure it’ll be back soon enough.

There isn’t much to speak of in our gains, either. The biggest story is probably our list of returns, since the new documentary, Bob Marley: One Love has people rediscovering the reggae legend’s catalogue. His greatest hits album is at #6 on the albums chart and two of his songs with the Wailers return to the top 75. Both songs peaked in 1980, with “Could You be Loved”, now at #51, peaking at #5 whilst Odyssey’s “Use it Up and Wear it Out” was #1 and “Three Little Birds”, now at #56, only peaking at #17, whilst “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” by The Police was #1. Marley would pass just one year after, of course, and it is pretty poetic to have his grandson in the top 10 right now, but just so this episode has some cool chart history trivia, how about we go through the several times these songs have charted? Different recordings of the two songs released in 1984 and 1985 peaked at #71 and #76 respectively. Joe Cocker’s cover of “Could You be Loved” peaked at #86 in 1997, and as far as I can find, no other covers of either song have charted, which kind of surprises me. After all, the latter was recently covered by Maroon 5, I figured they’d hitch a chart spot on name recognition but nope, not even a child singer Connie Talbot could do it in the talent show boom in the 2000s, so I guess Marley’s original really can’t be replaced.

As for the rest of our gains and returns, “Thank You (Not So Bad)” by way too many people who should know better is back at #73 and “Coal” by Dylan Gossett returns to #61. The gains include last week’s debuts, “Made for Me” by Muni Long and “Birds in the Sky” by NewEra at #48 and #44 respectively, “Lil Boo Thang” by the GOAT Paul Russell at #35 and, despite what the Official Charts Company would want you to believe, “Grey” by Yung Filly is at #33. There was an Aitch remix.

This week’s top 5 is actually pretty notable in terms of some shifting tides. We begin with ACR - search it up - striking Noah Kahan’s “Stick Season” down to #5, and then one of a few big debuts with Dua Lipa at #4 with “Training Season”, followed by gains for some white dudes making big moves: “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims at #3 and “Beautiful Things” by Benson Boone at #2, and finally, of course Queen Bey at the top. Now, we don’t have that wide of an array of new entries, or really, many at all, of which I’m pretty grateful for, so let’s zip through them.

New Entries

#66 - “Soaked” - Shy Smith

Produced by BeatBusta

Alright, I’ll bite… who the Hell is Shy Smith and why did they go with that… uncomfortable cover art? Well, this song is actually from 2021, and I assume through TikTok has gone viral, but this isn’t some indie artist as we typically see, this is a Canadian social media star, which makes this song seem a bit more like a joke. That’s a relief since despite being three years old, it sounds like Ciara made this in 2006 with the glassy synths, blocky Timbaland-esque production and squarrelling synth buzz, that is much more “in” now than it ever has been. Part of me understands completely therefore why this is charting now… but then another part of me doesn’t understand why this is charting at all. There’s really nothing to the stifled groove of the beat and it sounds like it actively strains Shy Smith to try having a personality. It’s so clearly going for semi-goofy seduction, but clawing actual intimacy out of this is as hard a job for me as it would have been for the vocal engineers, so I’m really not understanding this one.

#53 - “Whatever She Wants” - Bryson Tiller

Produced by TylianMTB

I always forget Bryson Tiller exists until he shows back up again, and I mean no offence by that as nothing has given me the impression that he’s not talented or a good person, but not a single song has clicked with me, despite having a lot of respect for his mostly singular lane and pioneering of the trap-soul sound. I can think of people who perhaps want to be Bryson Tiller, but I can’t figure out who Bryson Tiller wants to be other than, well, Bryson Tiller, and even if the music doesn’t resonate, I’m happy with that. Problem here is that he’s obviously trying to be Drake. He’s always been the easiest comparison to make with Tiller, but other than the more Detroit-influenced percussion, which really sounds like a typical trap rhythm with a Detroit choice of sounds more than anything, other than an elegant Orion Sum sample… this is just a Drake song. He goes for Drake flows, Drake melodies, even Drake’s uncomfortable whispery ad-libs. You could argue that the influence is mutual, but it is really difficult for me not to see a Drake fan taking the acapella, running it through a Drake voice AI and making something completely believable. Even the content is a slightly less embarrassing Drake riff, which just shows to me that he may be a unique singer, but not so much a rapper. Tylian’s beat is pretty good on this, I will admit, but I’m compelled by Mr. Tiller enough as a unique presence to care much about this. The train-like way the song keeps to an uptempo chug is actually pretty interesting though, it doesn’t feel like it ever wants to stop and take a breath, and Tiller does contribute to that, he’s not a total dud on his own song. He’s not really improving it either, though.

#19 - “Lovers in a Past Life” - Calvin Harris and Rag’n’Bone Man

Produced by Calvin Harris and watt

The petty part of me wants to say “2018 called” but this collaboration isn’t dated on arrival: Rag’n’Bone Man is another one of those artists I always forget about until they show up and I think this will just be a repeat of what I said about “Giant” all those years ago. He needs a rough layer of grit under him, not this flashy, sugary house track that he sticks out like a sore thumb over. Now it may not be dated on arrival but it is in execution: this is a tropical house song, and whilst Calvin Harris has always been good at mixing and making his stuff sound professional, this actually detracts from the character-void guitar and four-on-the-floor programming that all just feels rote. He even goes for an ATB-like guitar lick in the drop amidst the house pianos that just doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t dislike this - or at least not that much - I’m just confused by how either artist felt the need to make it, because it really does not work.

#11 - “End of Beginning” - Djo

Produced by Adam Thein and Djo

How do I even begin to pronounce that? Is he D-J-O, Duh-Joe, Joe, Sho? Oh, who am I kidding? It doesn’t matter, you know him as Joe Keery from Stranger Things. He was in a psychedelic band for a while but left and has solo work as a musician out now, with this taking from his second album and not actually released as a single, just a breakout solo hit. Is it good? Well, listen… I wish he knew he wanted Steve. The only buzz I had heard about this is that it sounded just like Mr. Lacy’s “Bad Habit” and well, I actively laughed when certain elements of the song came in because they hit nearly exactly the same way as in that song. This is most likely an influence and definitely not worth suing anyone over, but that’s primarily because neither song is any good. The lyrics are largely about his connection to his home city of Chicago as well as the acceleration of his acting career, making a point about how well, he’s still from Chicago! Whatever version you get of him, Chicago’s still in him. Yeah, it’s safe to say it doesn’t have the lyrical intricacies or at least, intriguing moments, that “Bad Habit” does, or even, and it pains me to say this, its sonic depth, so surely I should like this even less? Well, no. Djo Mama’s voice is a lot less pursuant and awkward than Steve Lacy, who also came up with some actual earworms that I respect but never want to hear again, whilst Djo here is just yapping over some synthpop. Which is fine. Have your fun. My opinion doesn’t matter at the end of the day. Just… maybe make acting a priority.

#4 - “Training Season” - Dua Lipa

Produced by Kevin Parker

I wish Dua found an interesting way to be good. This is a great, funky pop song, a worthwhile follow-up to “Houdini” with some excellent atmosphere mostly found in the dynamic mix that I’m sure Mr. Tame Impala had a lot of involvement with. It may not be a psychedelic song by nature, but there are transitory phases that absolutely show he was on the boards for. This feels like a sequel to “Houdini”, if that’s not already the intention, as Dua isn’t being the carefree love-them-and-leave-them anymore, she’s genuinely frustrated that she doesn’t have a more consistent and intimate relationship. She’s sick of being in control in these relationships - if they can be called such - and wants someone to go there, to actually mean something to her and put that effort in. Yet it doesn’t hit as much as I want it to… it may be the replacement of the rubbery bass from “Houdini” with a focus on soaring psychedelic synths and a guitar tone I’m not really big on in the chorus. Maybe it’s just that this funk-pop sound isn’t all that new and in that case, it’s impressive that Dua has made it this far without sounding boring.

Conclusion

With that said, she still obviously gets Best of the Week because good God, this was a mediocre set. Honourable and Dishonourable Mentions would be overly charitable probably, but I am going to give Bryson Tiller some benefit here, specifically because “Whatever She Wants” does have a decent instrumental, whilst Djo takes the Dishonourable Mention for “End of Beginning”, God, even the title is awkward. As for the worst, Shy Smith I think takes this handedly for “Soaked” but… will it even last a second week? I don’t know, it’s easily the least essential and least likely to last song that debuted. As for what’s on the horizon… I don’t know. Thank you for reading, rest in peace to Steve Wright and I’ll see you next week!

[viillaincoded]

danny pudi. thirty-seven. demi man. he/they. ┊┊ SETH AMIN, better known as agent CHIRON has been with cerberus corp as an eo since 2021 and is LEVEL II. A JOUSTING ACCIDENT has gifted them ANIMAL SHIFTING, though HE CAN ONLY SHIFT PARTS OF HIM AT A TIME has also been noted. when they aren’t protecting the tri-state area, they are fond of LARPING and are never seen without A BRAIDED BRACELET. civilians think they are ASPIRING & BOLD, but some of the other agents see them as DORKY & OBNOXIOUS. cerberus corp should consider the fact that their last mission status was MOSTLY SUCCESSFUL when giving out the next one. ���┊ connor. he/they. 24. cst. he/him.

001.  GENERAL

name  seth aminnicknames  n/a age  thirty-seven date of birth  march 10 zodiac  pisces place of birth  tulsa, oklahoma current residence  manhattan, new york gender  demi man pronouns  he/they sexuality  bisexual occupation  history tutor / cerberus agent, level ii

faceclaim  danny pudi height  six foottattoos  nonepiercings  none distinguishing features  constant grin, thin features positive traits  aspiring, outgoing, bold, curious, tenacious negative traits  dorky, obnoxious, stubborn, snarky labels / tropes  good samaritan, horseback heroism likes  live-action roleplay, fantasy, sci fi, horses, attention dislikes  rude people, being bored, ignorance fears  failing to meet his goals, death hobbies  larping, table top games, board games, karaoke, cosplay, watching documentaries habits  talking to himself, pacing, tapping out the song stuck in his head ( he will get it stuck in your head too )

002.  EXTRA ORDINARY

near death experience… 

2013. seth had been an active member of the renaissance faire for years. a lover of history, he fit it easily, and truly felt he had found his place in the jousting scene. they had grown up riding horses, and were an attentive student, always wanting to know more. a few months in, he was eager to try the wooden lances. it was hard to deny someone so eager, who had come so far. it happened so fast, when everything that could go wrong did. the lance shattered, a fluke in of itself. a large, six inch piece found it's self through a gap in his armor, impossible if it weren't for seth's own eagerness to get started. he managed to stay on the horse, finding her presence reassuring as it became harder and harder to breathe. lend me your strength was his thought as he leaned against his horse's neck, the world slipping away from him.

power… 

seth is an animal shifter, meaning he is able to transform into all different kinds of animals. while he is unable to transform his complete body, he is able to transform up to fifty-five percent of his body at a time, which is a skill that has been cultivated the course of a decade. when seth first developed his power, he could only transform a hand or foot at time. when transformed, he is able to do all that animal can do ( or rather, the part of the animal can do ). this process is not at all difficult for him, and seth is well practiced in using it on the fly. he constantly works to see if he can transform more completely, though has hit a plateau for the past year.

drawbacks / vulnerabilities… 

the biggest drawback is the fact that seth cannot transform completely, forty-five percent of him has to stay in an unaltered human form. besides that, while it is not strenuous for him to transform, it is energy intensive. he normally eats around seven to ten thousand calories per day to accommodate the changes. as well, there is a limitation when it comes to size. he cannot transform into any species that is greater than a ton, or a species that weighs less than two hundred pounds.

cerberus corp… 

seth only joined cerberus in 2021, despite having obtained his powers in 2013. in the beginning, his powers were so lacking that when he auditioned, he was quietly rejected. he would audition four more times before he was finally accepted. he wanted to be a hero, like all those he had read about growing up. part of a small minority who has such incredible powers, he feels an obligation to use them for good. since joining three years ago, seth has thrived at cerberus. the training at cerberus has improved his power usage, and he enjoys working towards goals with his colleagues. emphasis on the working with other people, since he rarely works alone. he's well aware of his own limitations, and prefers to partner up to make up for them. it helps him in check too, prone to rashness when left alone. one of the reasons he's stuck as a level ii agent. between the announcement at andersen's gala, and cerberus' rebuttal, seth hasn't been able to make heads or tails of it. a small, unspoken part of him would be almost grateful if someone had given him this power, for he feels more complete with it.

codename… 

before joining cerberus, seth was a middle school history teacher living in houston, texas. he would frequently transform into a centaur halloween, earning him the nickname. naturally, he adopted it for his codename.

003.  EXTRA

headcanons

holy good childhood, batman! seth is an only child, who grew up in tulsa. very close with his grandfather, he taught seth to ride horses when he was a child. ( they're a horse girl )

down to clown always, will talk to Anyone.

uhhh more to come

more to come!

[pocket-elf]

tagged by @kakinou to post nine of my favourite first watches of 2023, which felt fitting after realising how insane the Letterboxd genre stats for me were. 

In chronological order, not ranked.

Now the important thing here is that it says FIRST watches. And as such, The Youngblood Chronicles do not count. As I am pretty sure I watched it in 2014 (unless I watched only parts of it as the videos came out and then never the full thing) I also rewatched my favourite Hallmark mystery movie series, but ofc that doesn’t count either. 

Also… 2023 was not a stand out year for films for me. Red White & Royal Blue I did love and read the book after and such. But like… it’s 40+ Hallmark movies. And some other alright ones that were a fun two hours or whatever. I don’t think of any of them as “damn yes that was great” but of course Barbie was a better movie than the Hallmark ones. But it also doesn’t stand out in my brain and heart that much, know what I mean? 

I do love a good documentary or behind the scenes feature of something I'm into though, so Life on the Murder Scene was a nice lil treat.

But yeah, the choices were hard. Not because there were so many excellent movies, but because they were all just fine. 

Tagging: anyone who feel up to it and haven't done it!

And if you want to be friends on Letterboxd, I'm pocki