#not saying they *dont* work hard or practice. but getting good that fast probably requires this “talent” thing i don't have
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I hate when people who have never put any effort into drawing or art tell me i'm gifted/talented at it. they often say things like "I wish I could draw/I can't even draw a straight line/I always wanted to but was never good at it"
nearly 30 years of practice and hard work with nothing to show for it is not being gifted or talented! i've always felt this way no matter what age I was
I especially think this when I see artists younger than me who have more success. they're more likely "talented" or i'd be as good and successful as them, right? be better at art than I am now with less practice and work? if I was so "talented" i'd be way better at art by now and have some kind of success, right? be able to quickly and effortlessly produce beautiful work?
I feel like art is an absolute struggle every time I do it. it doesn't come "naturally" or effortlessly. it takes me forever to finish even a simple sketch. I struggle the entire time. it's so hard. someone "talented" probably wouldn't feel this way and say art is easy. the difference between me and being "talented" is I work hard and still struggle.
#art rambles#i'll sometimes see an artist that draws some of the most beautiful things ive ever seen#they have 10k+ followers and sell art. then i'll see them answer someone that they've been drawing for 3-5 years and theyre only 15........#THATS closer to talent than what i have adter near daily art practice for ~30 years and not being close to good enough for others#not saying they *dont* work hard or practice. but getting good that fast probably requires this “talent” thing i don't have#the difference between “gifted” and pure long term neurodivergent hyperfocus i guess lmao idk#a “talented” person is mkre likely to say “art is easy why cant you do it. just try. just do this and that” but i never say that#i tell people if they actually wanted to be able to draw like me then they would have started practicing already#honestly its possible “talent” isnt even a real thing. but there are at least people who catch on/learn faster than others#im in the category of Super Slow Learner and Barely Improves Over Time#theres not much difference from my genshin/hsr art now and my anime art in middle school probably#only difference is paper and pencil -> digital with color#lee rambles#lets face. it the reason the “i wish i can draw/cant draw straight line” ppl cant draw is because theyre lazy as fuck and wont put in work
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@runnibabbi
have a direction: there are a range of writers with different preferences when it comes to planning a fic, from nothing at all to outlines with immense detail for every scene. generally speaking, no matter what, have a direction towards an end goal of where you want your fic to be. you might change things up, spontaneously decide new things, add new characters, change canon around, do quirky stylistic choices—but you must have an 'end goal'. why? because otherwise, you might write yourself into a corner in a way you can't take back, or you take a break and forget where you're going (unintentionally disrupting your story's flow), or you lose your goal halfway through. don't just rewrite all the canon events 'just cause'. have an end. maybe you dont have everything in the middle planned out, but having an end means that when things get tough (hard scene, difficulty writing, burnt out, writer's block) you know where you're going.
notes: notes are not for everyone, but if youre working or a student, the last thing you want to do is go back to finally writing only to realize with horror you dont remember what you were going to do for the scene. jot down your notes, all of them, even if theyre in shorthand. they dont have to be pretty, they just have to work.
jump on it: it might seem really hard to do slowburn, but youll be surprised how wordy you can get real fast. dont rush to reveal everything at once, but dont feel pressured to spend five chapters building up to the introduction of your plot or characters. if you feel yourself dragging, pick up the pace.
pace yourself: write frequently and take breaks frequently. it's easier to write, especially to write for a project, when its fresh and youre writing a lot. your mental health comes first, obviously— when i say frequently, i dont mean let it take over your life. but *do* write. writing is a skill, not a talent, and it requires practice
talk about it: talk with friends, readers, and your community. write with others. talk about it! keep your excitement high. talking about your ideas keeps it fresh and in your brain. also, talking about it helps flesh your ideas out. find a group you trust to have fun with.
if you get stuck on a scene, skip it. if you can't, start it from a different POV, or in the middle instead of at the beginning, or maybe even at the end of the scene before you rewind.
listen to yourself: writing is an intimate dance with your brain. sometimes you have to tango your attention back on track so you can finish the damn chapter. but if you're not feeling the flow, there's probably a reason for it—and if it's preventing you from writing at a decent pace, try and troubleshoot what about your writing you're not vibing with. sometimes steamrolling ahead works. sometimes you need to really think about it
i said think, not agonize: dont agonize over your fic bestie, just write the damn thing and post it. it may not be how you envisioned it but that doesnt mean its not good
delete your art!: if youre new to fic writing, this will come eventually. but, dont feel pressured to keep everything you write. if you wrote a chapter but its put a huge damper on your fic and you dont know how youre going to continue... you dont have to post it for an arbitrary deadline or audience. delete your art, mourn it, savor it, and write (and rewrite) your work as many times as you need to to be happy with it
watch/read the source material: nothing quite like to get your gears turning than rewatching the source material. fanon can muddle your vibes. reacquaint yourself with the reason youre writing for the fandom in the first place
write
write
write
kill
write
write
did i mention start writing yet?: no seriously. just start writing, and keep writing. write things that are exciting, write things that make you laugh, write things that challenge you. i can tell you tons of advice, but really, the most important thing is... have fun. enjoy yourself. and write. theres no magic trick or hack.
hi owl! I cracked and started writing a fic for bnha >_< any tips on how to get traction for it?
like traction for writing consistently or traction from an audience?
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once again i am answering asks in a big compilation post. included is... gotham, patrick stump, tips about drawing backgrounds, tips about drawing in general, links to my faq, and infinity train
like.... the tv series? No... I’ve drawn dc comics fanart before, though. But it’s been years since I’ve been really into it. I like jumped ship like 10 years ago when the New 52 happened LOL.
AFJHDSLKGH I’m sorry I (probably) won’t do it again??
Actually full disclosure I have a truly cringe amount of p stump drawings/photo studies in my sketchbook right now LOL. He’s just fun to draw... hats, glasses, guitar, a good shape... but I don’t think I’ll rly post those until I can hide them in another big sketchbook pdf.. probably Jan 2022. Stay tuned........ (ominous)
(ominous preview)
These are all sort of related to backgrounds/painting so I grouped them together even though they’re pretty much entirely separate questions.... ANYWAYS
a) How is it working as a BG artist? Is it hard? What show are you drawing for?
I think you’re the first person to ever ask me about my job! Being a background artist is great. It’s definitely labor intensive but I think that could describe pretty much any art job (If something were rote or easy to automate, you wouldn’t hire an artist to do it) and I hesitate to say whether its harder or easier than any other role in the animation pipeline. Plus, so much of what truly makes a job difficult varies from one production to the next, schedule, working environment, co-workers etc. But I will say that I think while BGs are generally a lot of work on the upfront, I think they’re subject to less scrutiny/revisions than something like character/props/effects design and you don’t have to pitch them to a room like boards. So I guess it’s good if you don’t like to talk to people? LOL
A lot of my previous projects + the show I’ve worked on the longest aren’t public yet so I can’t talk about em (but I assure you if/when the news does break I won’t shut up about it). But I’m currently working on Archer Season 12 LOL. I’m like 90% sure I’m allowed to say that.
b) ~~~THANK YOU!! ~~~
c) What exactly do you like to draw most [in a background]?
@kaitomiury Lots of stuff! I really like to draw clutter! Because it’s a great opportunity for environmental storytelling and also you can be kind of messy with it because the sheer mass will supersede any details LOL.
I like to draw clouds... I like to draw grass but not trees lol,,, I like to draw anything that sells perspective really easily like tiled floors and ceilings, shelves, lamp posts on a street etc.
d) Do you have any tips on how to paint (observational)?
god there’s so much to say. painting is really a whole ass discipline like someone can paint their whole life and still discover new things about it. I guess if you’re really just starting out my best advice is that habit is more important than product. especially with traditional plein air painting, I find that the procedure of going outside and setting up your paints is almost harder than the actual painting. There’s a lot of artists who say “I want to do plein air sometime!!” and then never actually get around to doing it. A lot of people just end up working from google streetview or photos on their computer.
But going outside to paint is a really good challenge because it forces you to make and commit to lighting and composition decisions really quickly. And to work through your mistakes instead of against them via undo button.
My last tip is to check out James Gurney’s youtube channel because hes probably the best and most consistent resource on observational painting out there rn. There’s lots other artists doing the same thing (off the top of my head I know a lot of the Warrior Painters group has people regularly posting plein air stuff and lightbox expo had a Jesse Schmidt lecture abt it last year) but Gurney’s probably the most prolific poster and one of the best at explaining the more technical stuff - his books are great too.
e) Do you have tips for drawing cleanly on heavypaint?
@marigoldfool UMM LOL I LIKE ONLY USE THE FILL TOOL so maybe use the fill tool? Fill and rectangle are good for edge control as opposed to the rest of the heavy paint tools which can get sort of muddles. And also I use a stylus so maybe if you’re using your finger, find a stylus that works with your device instead. That’s all I’ve got, frankly I don’t think my drawings are particularly clean lol.
f) Tips on improving backgrounds/scenes making them more dynamic practicing etc?
Ive given some tips about backgrounds/scenes before so I’m not gonna re-tread those but here’s another thing that might be helpful...
I think a good way to approach backgrounds is to think of the specific story or even mood you want to convey with the background first. Thinking “I just need to put something behind this character” is going to lead you to drawing like... a green screen tourist photo backdrop. But if you think “I need this bg to make the characters feel small” or “I need this bg to make the world feel colorful” then it gives you requirements and cues to work off of.
If I know a character needs to feel overwhelmed and small, then I know I need to create environment elements that will cage them in and corner them. If a character needs to feel triumphant/on top of the world then I know I need to let the environment open up around them. etc. If I know my focal point/ where I want to draw attention, I can build the background around that.
Also, backgrounds like figure compositions will have focal points of their own and you can draw attention to it/ the relationship the characters have with the bg element via scale or directionality or color, any number of cues. I think of it almost as a second/third character in a scene.
Not every composition is gonna have something so obvious like this but it helps me to think about these because then the characters feel connected and integrated with the environment.
Some more general art questions
a) Do you have any process/tips to start drawing character/bodies/heads?
I tried to kind of draw something to answer this but honestly this is difficult for me to answer because I don’t think I’m that great at drawing characters LOL. Ok, I think I have two tips.
1) flip your canvas often. A lot about what makes human bodies look correct and believable is symmetry and balance. Even if someone has asymmetrical features, the body will often pull and push in a way to counterbalance it. we often have inherent biases to one side or another like dominant hands dominant eyes etc. you know how right-handed artists will often favor drawing characters facing 45 degrees facing (the artist’s) left? that’s part of it. so viewing your drawing flipped even just to evaluate it helps compensate for that bias and makes you more aware of balance.
2) draw the whole figure often. I feel like a lot of beginner artists (myself included for a long time) defer to just drawing headshots or busts because it’s easier, you dont have to think about posing limbs etc. But drawing a full body allows you to better gauge proportion, perspective, body language, everything that makes a character look believable and grounded.
Like if you (me) have that issue where you draw the head too big and then have to resize it to fit the proportions of the rest of the body, it’s probably because you (I) drew the head first and are treating the body as an afterthought/attachment. Sketching out the whole figure first or even just quick drawing guides for it will help you think of it more holistically. I learned this figure drawing in charcoal at art school LOL.
oh. third mini tip - try to draw people from life often! its the best study. if you can get into a figure drawing/nude drawing class EVEN BETTER and if you have a local college/art space/museum that hosts those for free TREASURE IT AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT, that’s a huge boon that a lot of artists (me again) wish they had. though if youre not so lucky and youre sitting in a park trying to creeper draw people and they keep moving.. don���t let that stop you! that’s good practice because it’s forcing you to work fast to get the important stuff down LOL. its a challenge!
b) I’ve been pretty out of energy and have had no inspiration to draw but I have the desire to. Any advice?
Dude, take a walk or something.... Or a nap? Low energy is going to effect everything else so you gotta hit that problem at its source.
If you’re looking for inspiration though, I’d recommend stuff like watching a movie, reading a book, playing video games etc. Fill up your idea bank with content and then give yourself time/space to gestate it into new concepts. Sometimes looking at other art works but sometimes it can work against you because it’s too close.
Also something that helps me is remembering that art doesn’t always have to be groundbreaking... like it’s okay to make something shitty and stupid that you don’t post online and only show to your friend. That’s all part of the process imo. If you want to hit a home run you gotta warm up first, right? Sports.
I should probably compile everytime i give tips on stuff like this but that’s getting dangerously close to being a social media artist who makes stupid boiled down art tutorials for clout which is the last thing i want to be... the thing I want to stress is that art is a whole visual language and there are widely agreed upon rules and customs but they exist in large part to be broken. Like there's an infinite number of ways to reach an infinite number of solutions and that’s actually what makes it really cool and personal for both the artist and the viewer. So when you make work you like or you find someone else’s work you like, take a step back and ask yourself what about it speaks for you, what about it works for you, what makes it effective, how to recreate that effect and how to break that effect completely, etc. And have a good time with it or else what’s the point.
for the first 2, I direct you to my FAQ
For the last one, I don’t actually believe I’ve ever addressed artwork as insp for stories/rp but I’ll say here and now yeah go ahead! As long as you’re not making profit or taking credit for my work then I’m normally ok with it. Especially anything thats private and purely recreational, that’s generally 100% green light go. I only ask that if you post it anywhere public that you please credit me.
(and I reserve the right to ask you to take it down if I see it and don’t approve of it’s use but I think that case is pretty rare.)
a) @lemuelzero101 Thank you!!! I haven’t played Life is Strange but actually that series’ vis dev artist Edouard Caplain is one of my bigger art inspirations lately so that’s a really high compliment lol. And yeah I hope we get 5-8 too...!
b) Thank you for sticking around! I’ve been thinking about Digimon and Infinity Train in tandem lately, actually. They’re a little similar? Enter a dangerous alternate world and have wacky adventures with monsters/inanimate objects that have weird powers... there’s like weird engineers and mechanisms behind the scenes... also frontier literally starts with them getting on a train. Anyways if anyone else followed me for digimon... maybe you’d like Infinity Train? LOL
c) @king-wens-king I’M GLAD MY ART JUST HAS PINOY VIBES LOL I hope you are having a good day too :^)
a, b, c, d) yessss my Watch Infinity Train agenda is working....
e) aw thank you!! i think you should watch infinity train :)
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me after writing smut: is this who i am? is this who i represent? lmao i've never written smut until trese, i guess the thirst was too much, let me know how y'all like it! thank you so much for all your support, ily <3
(ノ´ з `)ノ
kambal x reader; established relationship
gif by @rasputinaillyanna (see their original gifsets here!)
sfw
the three idiots
seriously, alexandra feels like she keeps aging 20+ years whenever you three are together and goofing around
this is one of the reasons why you’re not allowed on the field with them, they’d get absolutely nothing done
that, and the twins simply wont put you in danger under any circumstances
alexandra also treats you like a sister (in law) and wants you safe, but can only do so much to keep you out of their lives since you still find ways to help them out
absolutely rowdy when you’re with basilio, you and him practically have a lot of inside jokes and a secret language
people would give you both weird looks when you’re out in public, just because you’re both so damn loud
with crispin you’re more mature (but not a lot), he does these grand gestures like taking you out on expensive dates, takes instagram/pinterest style pics of you
basilio also takes pics of you, but those are some of the most unflattering ones that he sends to your groupchat as memes
the ppl who arent familiar with your relationship with the twins are almost often confused when they see you with just the one twin: they’d think “huh i saw this couple a week ago, but i could have sworn the boyfriend had much shorter hair, it couldn’t have grown that long in a week, right?”
when you do go out with the twins, they flank you and you almost get squished in between them, so sometimes you have to push them both to the sides so that you would have space to move around
the three of you like to just chill at the mall sometimes, go window shopping and then eat samgyup/mang inasal later on
other times when you manage to drag alexandra with you, people would assume that you guys are on a double date, and alexandra has the ugliest/most disgusted look on her face as she corrects them “these are my brothers” “im gay”
in your groupchat (just you and the twins) crispin is the sweet, doting one who would text you “have you eaten?” “want us to pick something up for you on the way home?” while basilio sends you memes and selfies of the twins
they send you videos and pics of pets they meet “today we met brownie and blackie”
with regards to living arrangements, the twins have separate rooms (basilio’s is the messy one, smells weird)
when you moved in, alexandra offered you your own room, and most of the time that’s where the boys stay anyway
the bed is much larger than theirs because it needs to accommodate all three of you
you three try to cook meals for ate alexandra, but it almost always turns out disastrous - mostly when basilio insists on helping
so you always make him run errands (“can you go pick up some more garlic and magic sarap”) while you and crispin man the stoves
you braid basilio’s hair while crispin tunes his guitar!!
and you spend a couple of hours listening to crispin play the guitar, basilio’s head now resting on your lap
crispin’s movie taste are like *film* and *poetic cinema* while basilio might enjoy movies that are so bad they’re good, but you three are all suckers for superhero ensemble movies and horror movies
the boys become really annoying when watching filipino horror movies because they like to point out mistakes in the film “aswangs dont do that” “why would you go there all alone are you stupid???”
“please boys i just wanna watch the movie”
a huge cuddle pile
both boys run hot, so during cold nights (that never happen, bc you live in the philippines) you’re all warm and toasty between them
both light sleepers! they were pretty heavy sleepers when they were kids/teenagers, but the occupational hazard of their jobs require them to be ready at a moment’s notice
they still, however, snore quite loudly
crispin doesn’t ever tend to move positions when sleeping, he wakes up in the same position he fell asleep in
basilio rotates around the bed like hands of a clock
most often falls off the bed, but clumsily climbs back up and cuddles you
really really simpy when it comes to you, though most of the time it’s just you three sharing one brain cell (it’s with you, mostly), they can be quite romantic and cheesy if they want to
crispin probably has his brother as just “Basilio” on his phone, and “Y/N ❤️" for you
basilio has “my love ❤️😍😘💘 ” for you and crispin’s number isn’t even registered lol
nsfw under the cut
nsfw
threesome? threesome
boys barely do anything separately and usually just have a Single Thought in both their heads, so if one is horny, the other one is 69% (lol) horny as well
you realize that crispin doesn’t like to be teased at work, but basilio enjoys it so much
you find this out when you’re alone and horny, so you send a pic of you touching yourself to the boys in your groupchat
crispin sees it first, but doesn’t say anything?? he honest to god just left you on read
meanwhile basilio also sees your pic not too long after and you quickly get a “what the fuck” as a reply from him
like 10 mins later he sends you a pic of him in what looks like a washroom and his cock is straining in his pants
he texts you “had to find a washroom so fucking fast so that ate alex and the police captain doesn’t see me so fucking hard in my pants” and “wanna eat you pussy babe”
crispin does text you when the three are on their way home, not mentioning the picture you sent “we’re on our way home”
and at first you thought he is mad at you bc he didn’t bring the nude up?? does he not want you anymore :(
but the moment they arrive crispin all but sprints to your shared bedroom and sees you there, in your underwear
holds your cheeks in one hand, “what the fuck was that baby, hmm? what did you send us?”
you try to ask if he’s mad bc you sent him a nude, ask him if there’s anything wrong, but he just lets your face go as he takes his suit off, basilio finds his way to your room, locks it, and gives you a kiss
basilio whispers “missed you baby” against your mouth before moving away to undress
crispin, now fully naked in front of you, makes you suck his cock, which is hard and twitching, its tip leaking with precum, he makes you place both his hands on your head, “do you know how surprised i was when i saw a text from you and it’s a picture of you touching your cunt? hmm?” he sighs as he sees you looking up at him, eyes watering as you struggle to take all of his cock down your throat “i had to stop myself from getting hard in front of everyone, baby, basilio couldn’t even do that”
basilio huffs but the boys reposition you so you’re in bed and on your back, crispin kneeling to your side, his cock still throbbing in your mouth, basilio positions himself between your thighs, moaning when he sees how wet you are
basilio removes your panties before rushing to sniff your cunt, groaning in delight--you’re sure his eyes roll to the back of his head before he dives into your cunt
you moan into crispin’s cock and he grunts, shoving more of his cock into your mouth, now moving faster, “i really wanna cum down your throat baby, would you let me?”
you nod and he pushes his cock all the way into your mouth, your nose practically touching his groin and pubes
you gag, for a moment panicked as you try to breathe in, while crispin just eyes you, his cock growing ever harder when he looks at your face wet with tears and drool, he grabs your hair, softly at first, to make sure you’re okay, and when you nod crispin groans as he sets up his pace, groaning as he feels his orgasm building
basilio, meanwhile, is licking and sucking your clit with three fingers knuckles deep in your cunt, and when he starts to feel you spasming, a telltale sign that your orgasm is approaching, he pulls his mouth and fingers out and quickly replacing them with his fat cock
immediately, you and basilio both groan, your eyes roll to the back of your head as you feel yourself so full of cock
basilio curses under his breath before taking your legs and resting them against his shoulders “fuck, y/n, im sorry i’m not gonna last long” “your pussy got me so fucking hard you tasted so good baby, you know how much i love your little pussy, right?”
crispin groans at this before he pulls his cock out of your mouth, leaning down to kiss you, he then moves down your neck and your tits, making sure he marks your chest
basilio whimpers and thrusts three more times before releasing a long groan, his cum exploding deep in your pussy “fuck baby you feel so good” he manages to pull out and you see his cock wet with his cum and your juices before settling beside you, panting harshly
you barely had the type to recuperate before crispin flips you on your stomach, making sure your face is resting on the pillows before he thrusts into you with a grunt
“fuck, still a tight little pussy after basilio rammed your cunt, huh?”
your eyes rolling, you couldnt do much other than hold onto the sheets and basilio’s hand, moaning loudly when you feel crispin’s fingers on your clit
“can you take one more, y/n? can your pussy take one more load?”
speechless, you nod, trying to grind your ass against crispin’s hips, but his hands on your hips hold you firm
he grunts approvingly, “good baby, take it deep in your pussy okay? and cum on my cock, baby, i wanna feel it”
you cum on his cock, almost violently, and twins groan at the sound of your moaning, and the sight of you spasming and shaking on crispin’s cock
a couple of deep thrusts later, crispin also cums deep into your pussy, his cum now mixed with basilio’s
crispin moves to get a washcloth to clean the three of you up, before all three of you collapse in bed, huddled together, basilio with his arms wrapped from behind--already falling asleep, you rest your head against crispin’s arm
“so, no more nudes when you’re at work?”
crispin laughs softly before pressing a kiss on your forehead, “unless your cunt is ready to take two cocks at once, no nudes when we’re at work”
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Hello!
Maybe some la sqadra headcanons with s/o, who is super fixed on pets? Like, they want to adopt every animal from the shelter, and cry every time they see a abandoned pet on the street. S/o just loves pets so so much that they would do everything to have more
Ofc it's just a proposition, bye bye!❤
AW I LOVE THIS
la squadra with a partner who loves animals 😻
risotto ✂️
he gets it. he has a soft spot for small cute things
he's very fond of how doting u are to every creature but he'll keep you in check, gently pull you away from a passing animal shelter and the like. pets take commitment and u both have very demanding jobs as is
he will help u set out bowls of water for all the strays and little creatures tho
if u bring home a lost pet he'll want you to bring it to the shelter and let the people there find its owner but you count as small cute things he's soft for (because everyone is small compared to risotto). give him puppy eyes for long enough and he'll give you a few days to find the owner yourself but it can't interfere with work and you're completely responsible for it
you'll probably be able to sway him on taking in ONE (1) stray cat if it has the right temperament, quiet and won't interfere and more on the independent side. there are a lot of strays in the neighbourhood as is, he figures having a cat in the house won't be much more of a stretch than you looking after the cats outside
he reasons that for himself too because he loves cats. he'll let it sleep on his chest and he WILL take it for walks on a lil kitty harness do NOT test him, do NOT fuck with this guy while he's walking his cat
he also thinks tarantulas, scorpions, and reptiles are cool (reptiles would love him he's so warm!!!) but maintaining a terrarium is a lot of work
prosciutto 🚬
no. he will answer firmly, no. you both know how busy you are
he tries to reason with you every time you cry over a stray: you can't adopt them all, you know it would be a disservice to the animal to take on that responsibility only to find you can't balance it, i know it's sad but you're only one person with a very difficult job you can't overhaul the shelter system overnight. he'd try to help you toughen up for your own sake, not that u have to love animals any less but he doesn't want u burning out emotionally and he doesn't like seeing u cry either
if u bring home a lost pet, he will also insist you take it to the shelter. if u have a staredown about it (the shelters are so busy already and what if they can't find its person!!!!), it will be a LONG staredown. but if u promise to take full responsibility and find the owners asap he will relent BUT DONT MAKE IT A HABIT. if he has spare time he May help you with finding the owners, mostly to speed things up but it does also make u happy
might also accept one (1) cat with the right temperament but it's YOUR responsibility. if you're prepared to take on the commitment urself, he can coexist with a chill cat pretty easily. he will give it pets if it curls around his legs. if it wants to curl up in his lap, as long as he's not busy, well..... he would allow it
(the cat definitely grows on him)
he supposes he wouldn't mind fishes or a reptile but again, your responsibility
pesci 🎣
he thinks ur so sweet and he has a very hard time saying no to you
as long as ur managing your time and energy right he doesn't think it's so bad!!!! will defend you if the others try to tease you or get on your case
he will help. he might not mesh well with very rambunctious and outgoing animals tho. he may get nervous about caring for them right (is this food good for them? how do i hold them? what if they get sick?) but if u show him how and reassure him and he gets reassurance and affection from the critter too he'll probably cry
he would, of course, love a fish tank. he gets really into arranging and rearranging the setup and caring for ur fishies. he could watch them for hours and also defends them against people who say they're boring (THEY HAVE PERSONALITY)
he would say no to arachnids or other bugs and no to reptiles and amphibians (cause they eat bugs)
formaggio 🧀
HES RIGHT THERE WITH U
cats are his favorite even if he is not cats' favorite. he looks after the strays with you and will comfort you when you cry about them
if you find a lost pet he'll help you hide it (probably make it smaller) while you team up to secretly care for it and find the owners
'formaggio what the hell is that sound coming from ur room' 'oh i just fell asleep with the tv on' '..... and it's still making the same sounds 3 hours later?' 'ITS A LONG MOVIE'
HE WOULD LOVE TO RAISE A CAT WITH U. two cats would be great too but you do both have busy jobs. cool with rodents too, would be cool with a dog or parrot in theory but in practice they take a lot of work and require a lot of social time and y'all are pretty busy being assassins.
illuso ✨
he will gently tease you for being a softie (the keyword here being gently because he loves u) but he's honestly a little endeared
he's trying to befriend the flock of crows around base so they'll be his little minions so u spend time together leaving them snack offerings
for trying to actually get a pet tho? ur on ur own
if you find a lost pet he may offer to hide it in the mirror world while u search for the owner BUT he will require payment. whether that is a kiss or you do his chores for a week. and he doesn't really do well with animals cause he just doesn't know what to do with them but he will do his best to help care for them in the mirror world if u can't be there because it's for u (and contrary to popular belief he's not completely heartless)
no. no strays in the house. i know it's cute and sad but it's all dirty, you don't know where it's been. but then you start tearing up and he's like ah fuck okay FINE tidy it up and bring it to the shelter but im outtie
he does find cats and snakes very graceful tho and may be open to having one as long as it's a good fit personality and needs wise and it's mostly your responsibility
melone 🍈
he finds it adorable. he loves how sweet u are
he loves hearing about his partner's interests so he will talk about cool biological and developmental animal facts and how u can learn a lot about human behaviour by studying the nature around us
doesn't see the harm in helping out any strays or lost creatures u may find and is totally down to help
he will remind u that pets are a lot of responsibility tho!!! if u want one u have to figure out how to balance other responsibilities with it but he's cool with co-parenting
he thinks reptiles and amphibians are really fucking cool. he'd probably be interested in a bird too cause he has the patience and creativity for them but ur also both busy people. he'd LOVE having sweet rat babies b/c they are so smart!!!
ghiaccio ❄️
he LOVES everything cute and soft and fluffy so he understands but also you can't rescue every stray or adopt the whole shelter we are assassins,
you befriend the neighbourhood cats together and build squirrel feeders. sometimes you'll go to the park just to cry about how cute all the dogs are
if you find a lost pet he may try to be like ugh.... do we have time for this....... but he caves VERY fast. will whisper-yell at anyone who tries to give you grief for it because he doesn't want to startle the poor creature. will help you find its owner if it'll get the others off ur back
he would very much want to raise cute animals with u. you have work to think about but if u had a rather independent cat that would work. he'd also love rats and hamsters
starts dreaming of retiring with u one day so u can have a bunny and a yappy little pomeranian he can wear matching sweaters with
sorbet and gelato 🔪🍦
they think ur utterly adorable. ur their sweet beloved third and they dote on you and would love to be involved in/support ur passions
they will help u look after the strays and may point out like someone's cute dog that they're walking just to see ur eyes light up and hear u gush
they Will smuggle lost pets inside the base for you and they Will help you find the owner they don't care about getting in trouble with risotto they're in trouble all the time anyway it's their jobs
would very much like to be pet parents with u and it might honestly be easier to manage between the three of you
they'd do very well with rats, they could handle high energy pets like ferrets, parrots, and dogs, but y'know u do all have work and stuff. they are determined to find the right fit for all of u b/c ur so cute they can't NOT indulge u
maybe one day the three of u can retire on a heap of money and adopt an older cockatoo and harness train it so u can all go on adventures together, that's the dream!!!!
#THIS WAS VERY FUN THANK U FOR THE ASK!!!!!#la squadra#la squadra x reader#risotto nero#prosciutto#pesci#formaggio#illuso#melone#ghiaccio#sorbet#gelato#vento aureo#ask
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Hi! I wanted to ask you something about Klapollo. What topic/argument do you think could possibly cause them to break up or take a break from the relationship? I live for the drama and was thinking about maybe writing a fic but like I dont want to make either of them assholes, like Apollo bringing Kristoph up to hurt Klavier, for example. I don't think he would do that but I struggle to come up with something else.
Oh boy, I hope you’re not upset about this, but I wrote you an essay. I’m sorry.
Overall, I really like the klapollo relationship timeline because, compared to, say, narumi/su they have a much more normal, organic story. They meet, flirt, share a mutual trauma, get together! Totally normal! But I also think that they would have a much harder time than narumi/su finding the balance you need in a serious relationship and I can see them calling it quits for perfectly practical reasons that aren’t really anything to do with one being a jerk, you know? Here are my top things that I think they would have to navigate and maybe struggle with before a real happily ever after:
1. Money. You’ve probably seen my post where I talk about Apollo feeling uncomfortable with displays of affluence. I don’t think that this is an easy one to get past. AA6 Spoilers, but Dhurke and Datz literally raised them in hiding on the run in the mountainous jungles of Khura’in. They sent Apollo to the states as a nine year old. We don’t know what he did when he got here, but my money’s always been on the foster system. That doesn’t typically breed a sense of stability, financial or otherwise.
From my experience (so take it with a grain of salt), children who grow up with very little tend to behave in one of two ways when they reach financial stability and/or achieve wealth: first option, they’re really bad with it. They spend it nearly as fast as they make it on things they didn’t get to have or experience when they were growing up. Second option, they never spend it. They know what it’s like to be without, so they save as much of it as they can so they have the security of knowing, if something happens, they won’t have to go back to the way it was before. I will always put Apollo in the latter category. He works hard for what he has and what he gets and, I think, things that signify extravagance make him uncomfortable. On the other hand, I think that the Gavin’s have always had some sort of wealth. Klavier and Kristoph have very different aesthetics to their spaces that we get to experience (Klavier’s office and Kristoph’s cell) but they’re both pretty lavish. Now, we can assume they each made their money individually in their respective careers but, honestly, Kristoph’s cell is so gaudy. To me, it screams “this is what I’m used to and I refuse to accept any less” which is an attitude that I feel comes more from a lifetime of that treatment.
So if we accept everything that I’ve said above as true, trying to put a person who saves every penny they get and feels bad treating themselves with a person who spends money freely because it’s been a constant throughout their life? It can go poorly. Casually dating, maybe it’s not such an issue once Apollo says “please no more presents and can we just get takeout for once?” but if you’re talking about something more serious, where you have to live in the same space and pay joint bills and be confronted with the other person’s spending habits constantly, it’s a whole other thing. Please take it from me as a person in a long term relationship who loves their partner tremendously—everyone fights about money. Everyone. It would be very difficult for Apollo to feel comfortable, even if he knew that finances were in good shape and there was savings, etc. Things happen, people leave. Nothing gold can stay. Changing that line of thinking takes work. It would also be easier said than done for Klavier to just do an about face on his own habits for Apollo’s comfort. Being a celebrity makes money, but it costs money, too. There is a certain amount of lushness that people expect. That can’t just go away. These are things that become bigger problems overtime, no matter how much you love each other.
Anyway, I would be really surprised if—even if you’re writing them as really happily married—Apollo doesn’t have a ‘emergency fund’ that even Klavier doesn’t know about. It’s a ‘just in case’. Just in case Klavier leaves him. Just in case he needs to get away fast. Just in case the world ends. It’s not a logical thing, something that he sat down and rationalized doing, it’s just there because it feels better to have it than to not. But that can be kind of hurtful if the other person finds out about it, so. There you go, a whole minefield of money related drama.
2. Apollo’s Abandonment Issues. He’s got them! What do you call and orphan twice over who also lost his very best friend? I don’t know, but if capcom doesn’t stop picking on my boy I’m going to kick them in the teeth. I will still never get over AA6 for telling us that Dhurke took Apollo in when he was orphaned as a baby, then abandoned him in the USA, then came back for him and got his hopes up, and then was actually dead the whole time! Hahahaha! What a trip!
Anyway, you don’t come back from that super easy. People who suffer this kind of trauma usually have a really hard time trusting others, which is understandable. They also can have unrealistic needs from their partners, become codependent, or even just self-sabotage their relationships, pulling away first to try and avoid the pain because they think the other person will leave them. I think that last one is most likely for Apollo, especially given the disparity in circumstances I mentioned above. If Apollo can’t trust that Klavier actually loves him, can’t trust that he won’t leave him like EVERYONE ELSE HAS, then they can’t have a healthy relationship. Drama.
3. Klavier’s Emotional Trauma. Kristoph is a pretty big jerk to Klavier in the last case of AA4. He criticizes and undermines Klavier, threatens and admits to manipulating him. In the anthology, Klavier shares an “lol so funny!” story about Kristoph accidentally breaking a window while he and Klavier are playing ball. In it, he convinces Klavier that it was his fault and that he should take the blame and apologize for breaking the window! And Klavier does! That’s gaslighting, baby, and since the Anthology is supposed to be canon, we can take that to mean it’s been happening since Klavier was a kid. Think about that. An entire life of gaslighting and manipulative behavior! You don’t come back from that easily, either.
People who experience emotional abuse can, among other things, suffer from depression and low-self esteem. They need affirmation from their partners and can have a hard time with letting people in or being honest (though not from a malicious mindset—more a “I’m going to say what I think you want to hear because if you’re happy, bad things won’t happen!”). They can also always be waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. Sure things are good, but when will that end and the bad time start? It’s a self fulfilling prophecy: if all you can do is worry about things going wrong, then you aren’t actually enjoying when things are going right and you will cause the issues you’re so worried about. Drama.
4. Fame. Klavier has been in the spotlight since he was a literal child. If the Gavinners were already hits when Klavier was 17, they likely formed and starred their rise some time before then. A year, maybe two? Klavier spent his formative years in the spotlight. He quite literally doesn’t know any other way. Apollo, on the other hand, has never experienced the kind of scrutiny he’d be subject to when dating someone like Klavier. It can be really stressful and hurtful and just overall not a good time. And I’m not saying that Klavier wouldn’t be sympathetic, but I don’t think he would really understand how difficult it could be to have been thrust into that position out of nowhere, because he’s had years of dealing with it and was in a completely different place in life when it began for him. It’s not unreasonable to think that Apollo might not be able to take it. You can love someone and want to be with them but if you can’t adapt to their lifestyle, it’s not going to work. They could walk away rather than risk what might happen to Apollo if they kept it up. Drama.
5. Careers. They both have very demanding jobs. While sharing a similar profession can mean there’s a mutual understanding, it can also cause issues if you... never get to see each other? Schedules can be out of alignment (which could easily happen; their cases can’t always line up and they seem to require a lot of time investment outside of just normal hours). If Klavier goes back into music, that’s an additional time constraint. Why be in a relationship when you can only see the other person for moments here and there? What about the stress that comes with those jobs? That can cause drama.
6. Klavier looks like Kristoph. They are very different people, yes, but similar enough in some ways that it could cause tension. Maybe Klavier is tired and stressed and snaps at Apollo, and suddenly, all Apollo can see is Kristoph and all he can feel is the uncomfortable churning in his stomach that goes along with the memories of him. Someone he trusted, someone who let him down. That’s a difficult subject to broach, and it can fester like an infected wound if left intended.
But Apollo sounds like Kristoph sometimes. We saw it in AA5, which is, of course, an extreme circumstance. But it can come out from time to time in other ways. A phrase that slips out, the way he intones certain words, the way he signs off in his emails—little things that are harmless, but can still act as triggers.
Sometimes you need to get away from things that can remind you of your past in order to work on getting over them. If you are in love with someone who shares a similar trauma, who brings those issues from the past to light frequently just by being themselves, it might not be a healthy situation. I don’t think they would need to throw it in each other’s faces for it to become an issue. Drama.
There are more, but I probably took this more seriously than you intended. Whoops! Anyway, I hope that helps??? Maybe???? I hope you get them back together in the end because they deserve to be happy though!!!!!!!
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atissi
replied to your post
“it kinda makes me sad when artists giving out tutorials on character...”
oh could you talk more about this? :o
ABSOLUTELY thank u for enabling me to go off about designs i love this shit this may get a bit long so its going under a readmore (sorry if ur on mobile i hope it works)
gonna start this off with im no expert Nor have i taken any sort of official art class this is me just analyzing characters from what i found that makes them memorable to ppl (most of these examples are going to be from games sorry i got them on my mind)
ok so basically making a memorable revolves around personality and appearance now theres different ways to go about showing these things and i think from consuming media you like will help narrow down how you wanna go about it, basically thinking about your character inside and out!
SO shapes and hyperstylization is a good way to get a fun appearance across in a cartoon esp media and is often what a lot of artists stress on an example of using shapes and a good silhouette to make a memorable character is sonic!(specifically comic sonic)
(had to google idw sonic for a non...u know image)
but not only do they use lots of triangles for this hedgehog they also made him blue! you’d be more likely to remember a blue headgehog over a realistically colored one!(also almost all of the sonic characters have a combination of fun shape + unusual color to help you remember them! the designs werent afraid to use color to make a bold statement)(he’s also segas mascot so of course they put a lot of work in his design)
now sonics appearance is not the only reason why people like him or remember him so much he’s also got personality! he’s cocky, fast, always getting into trouble, “you’re too slow!”, accompanied by shitty butt rock and a cool guy persona ie he’s got personality! and they weren’t afraid to give him some weird interests(see the butt rock) and he’s not perfect( see arrogance) if youve ever played a sonic game you have almost always remembered the crush 40 theme that went with it
all in all to go with his unusual appearance he’s got some unusual traits! it helps make him believable! admittedly he’s not the most embarrassing of the sonic crew (see knuckles or shadow) but he’s definitely rounded and not boring from an objective standpoint(you can not like sonic or his games i dont care)
(another example of something that requires good shapes is pokemon altho they arent really like very depthy since there are 600+ and some only have like a pokedex entry worth of info but still they have good and memorable designs)
NOW something that doesnt have the most “good shapes” design off the top of my head is link
now in the most recent zelda game his most memoriable physical attribute is that he’s on the androgynous side w his longer hair and smaller build but in his older designs he looked something like this
(art for a loz:link to the past)
not really that much of a striking silhouette, but what do we look at and kinda leaves an impression on us? his hair and hat! its very silly to see someone in such a big green hat with that big of bangs/mullet, the hat at least became so ridiculous of a look that in botw nintendo didnt include his hat in links main outfit bc it was too hard to make look good, its silly! thats good! its fine to have a normal human looking characters because sometimes stories are about humans, but if you want us to remember them include something that will strike us as strange for them
also probably a good thing to note is the noises link makes when he swings his sword, jumps, pushes something, ie any action they have always been something that has stuck with me
(another example similar to this is in mgs solid snake in mgs is this cool super spy but is rocking a full on mullet which is considered a joke hairstyle. this leaves an impression on us. a spy with a mullet! how ridiculous! another example is raiden who was specifically made bc a woman wrote that she didnt want to play as an “old man” so the protagonist of the super spy game is a longer haired pretty boy (with a huge ass))
now ive explained a little on a character with good shapes and personality and a character with a more “boring” shape design that makes up for it with almost quirky design choices but i feel like theres another series thats what originally got me thinking about how even a memorable silhouette doesnt need hyperstylization
ace attorney! (which is out on switch now if u havent played it i would def recommend it)
if you dont know the protagonist is the guy in the blue suit(phoenix), which well he looks like just a guy...with ridiculously spikey hair enough so that in his silhouette you can recognize him but also his posture (the pointing) makes for a sticking recognizable image bc if you’ve played the games you can practically hear objection just from looking at phoenix’s silhouette
which is another thing id like to talk about! not only are a good shape a way to have a good silhouette but posture is also important! how the character holds themselves can say alot about them just from a glance! such as meekness, arrogance, confidence, sadness, anger, happiness its a very important too especially when you arent relying on stylization
now onto the characters of ace attorney ive gone over phoenix's design a bit but theres a few others id like to look at with some Weird style choices that make us remember them(just going to glance over them since this post is so long)
now, this woman, franziska von karma, she dresses kind of strange for a prosecutor but her outfit is not too out there and her silhouette is not striking
but you see that whip? remember how i said she was a prosecutor? yeah she will strike people in court for getting off topic and will even hit phoenix when he starts breaking down her witnesses testimonies, which what literally strikes up about her
another prosecutor, godot, now his hair could provide a somewhat memorable shape but what we first notice is the strange mask on his face which is weird, but not the Same weird as franziska bringing a whip to court thus having both of these prosecutors being Weirdly memorable for different things (another note is his liking of coffee that he does not give up even in court ha ha)
now onto the other protag for the aa games
apollo! who also has weirdly spikey hair, but even if you put a silhouette of him next to phoenix you could tell there some was a difference between the two! its showing a pattern with the protags while also keeping them distinct enough to be able to tell who is who! although you cant say the pointy haired guy from ace attorney and not get just One answer unlike saying the prosecutor who has a whip but still they are distinct to people who have little experience with the series
sorry i dont have any sort of conclusion on this this was just sort of me rambling on about character design, but my main point is if you are discouraged bc all your characters dont have wildly different silhouettes thats ok! there are other ways to establish a good memorable character! dont be afraid to make them a little weird! give your character pink hair in a medieval setting, have them be ridiculously in love with tigers they have a striped shirt and pants, let them love childrens tv shows and have them never miss an episode, give them wacky hair or an extreme love of gum, show us some personality!! but dont forget about how they act and their values and dont forget that posture can go a long way for establishing a first impression
there are also many other methods to making a good character! like colors and dress!
silly is the way to go! have fun with it!!
there isnt just one way to make a good character!! theres plenty of more series that have good character design that i didnt mention pay attention to why you like the characters you like! also watch this video bc its really good
#atissi#im sorry this is so long and incoherent#im sure this is hard to parse so im realyl sorry if i end up confusing ppl
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1-50 of the writer’s ask thing, go!
BITCH UR RUDE AF
The Basics1. Do you listen to music when you write?mostly yeah but it depends on my mood2. Are you a pantser or plotter?both, i was a complete pantser up until recently but ive been trying to outline big scenes so i know where im going3. Computer or pen and paper?computer for drafting. pen and paper for outlining/planning4. Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?not published, dont wanna be5. How much writing do you get done on an average day?none but yesterday i wrote 2k /shrug6. Single or multiple POV?usually single but ive been trying multiple!! its hard!!! idk what voice is!!7. Standalone or series?ugh again mostly standalone, but ive been dabbling in series8. Oldest WIPmy spies one which went though a fantasy and scifi phase and was originally dystopian9. Current WIPmy mages! i have no titles bc who10. Do you set yourself deadlines?nup
The Specifics11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the mostuhhhh to be fair im v easily influenced so if i read a book and really like it i subconsciously try to implement that style of writing or try out that genre in my own work12. Describe your perfect writing spacea desktop next to a big open window where i can play music without headphones13. Describe your writing process from idea to polisheduhhhh i dont have a finished wip yet so idk lol usually: idea→ characters→ plot→ spur of the moment 10k word vomit→ more planning, outlining→ more words→ repeat planning and drafting until finished14. How do you deal with self-doubts?i just take a break, read some bad books, read some good books, look at writing tumblrs and just marinate for a bit before going back in15. How do you deal with writer’s block?i perpetually have it and since i dont have deadlines or a publishing contract i just ride it out, writing is strictly a hobby for me16. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?i edit as i go, im onto draft 2 of my mages but its technically a rewrite bc i changed most of the plot17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?i have none atm, but i usually pick a time where i know i wont be disturbed/distracted so usually at night18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?idw collab sdkksdlkbnsd die19. How do you keep yourself motivated?i just really really like my worlds lol conceited 20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?i have!!! 5?
The Favourites21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?oh mannngggg i like all my protagonists, ary is the easiest bc shes the one i work with the most, but its super entertaining to be in remy’s head, and i like calyp’s bc hers is so different AAHH22. Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?remy and seth orrr red and kieran. if im answering this correctly? or do u mean types of pairings lol idk23. Favourite authorhummm idk every author i really like have books i dont like so i cant say24. Favourite genre to write and readfantasy25. Favourite part of writingworldbuilding *.*26. Favourite writing programgoogle docs. it would be word but im too poor to buy it lol27. Favourite line/sceneidk if this is my favourite but“I am at least trying to be civil.”“I am being civil. You want me to yell at you? Turn into a wolf and fight it out like you’d want?”Kieran closed the file and stood. “I don’t—rem—”“Remember.”“I don’t remember you being so—” He searched for a word, but gave up and growled instead. Red got the idea.“Angry? Callous? I ought to reteach you the English language.”“I know how to speak,” Kieran blurted. “Remember, I spent twenty-four years a full human.”“And look how fast that’s disappeared.”28. Favourite side characterwhat are side characters lol ENSEMBLE CASTS29. Favourite villainossssshhhh probably michael bc i love him30. Favourite idea you haven’t started on yetive started on all my wips im one of those bastards who can multitask
The Dark31. Least favourite part of writingactually drafting lmao32. Most difficult character to writeprobably christine bc shes meant to be relatable and down to earth and thats boring smh33. Have you ever killed a main character?yes, not a pov one though34. What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?probably any scene that requires a lot of research on a topic i know nothing about, like hacking or sword fighting or whatever35. What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?bridging scenes suck theyre necessary but they SUCK
The Fun36. Last sentence you wrote“My plan would go smoother with you involved, but I can find others. Many want his head.”37. First sentence or your current WIPShe squinted in the harsh light.38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever hadugh this girl who could see deaths coming and she worked for the fbi but she was like 15 so she still had to go to highschool lol39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever hadprobably her, only bc i was 13 when i created her and was reading this banshee series but somehow didnt connect??? and didnt realise she was a banshee?? without the screaming40. Share some backstory for one of your charactersomg all of my characters have purposefully murky backstories bc i find that trope cool af lol. i guess ary has that typical woe-is-me backstory where her parents were killed, she spiraled and got involved with the wrong people and then was betrayed and arrested lol
The Rest of It41. Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?literally i swear by: trying anything out. fiddle with pov, tense, perspective, genre, character identity, hell take a story you like and try to put your own spin on it. writing as a craft only gets better with practice and my best work is when im going outside of the box/my comfort zone42. How do you feel about love triangles?is this even a debate anymore, this trope got flamed so hard i havent seen it in ya in years. i dont really care about it43. What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?good lol my outlines are usually done on the spot and i come up with more creative plots/scenes if i can think on it a bit44. How much research do you do?i edit as i go so i research as i go. my pre-drafting research extends to saving links on things i might wanna write about and thats it lol. i would say i dont do as much as i should45. How much world building do you do?a lot lol i LOVE worldbuilding. but i find it hard to incorporate it into my draft naturally so a lot of minute details get cut 46. Do you reread your own stories?all the time lol i forget what i wrote half the time47. Best way to procrastinatetwitter–OR if u wanna seem “productive”, writing blogs are a good way to get distracted48. What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?bitch there was a time where i only wrote self insert characters lol49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?im too lame to hang out with any of my characters. they would be nice to me but i wouldnt get to know them like how i know them from an author perspective50. [Other question—ask me anything]u didnt ho
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i forgot that i love to talk shop so here’s a bunch of talking shop about hollow knight
for reference i was, at one point in my life, a competitive golfer--not in the sense that i am a competitive person, but that i competed at tournaments, and talking shop about minute details about a 9.5 degree driver vs a 10 degree driver, mallet vs blade head putters, interlocked vs overlapping grip--all that shit was my jam
and imo in reflection, i play hollow knight a lot like i played golf: i was never a player that did fancy tricks or pulled off long drives or cut corners on dogleg holes, pulling off incredible eagles or birdies, but i just hit in the fairway over, and over, and over, and did it slowly, methodically, with my very short drive and my short wood and iron shots, and got myself a par
imma be real with you: i’m not a good hollow knight player. i learn the moveset, i figure out what to do in response. that’s why nightmare king grimm, in my save file, is cleared on ascended (and probably soon to be radiant), but not someone like god tamer or the watcher knights: NKG will do the same moves, precisely and predictably, with a clear telegraph of what it is he’s going to do, and i can guarantee to you that i won’t be hit by the firebats attack if i dont do anything stupid. mantis lords are the same kind of methodical, clockwork type of fight--basically exactly what grimm talks about when he refers to fights being a dance. a series of steps, you learn the steps, you do the steps with your partner. meanwhile, with the watcher knights, there’s not a really reliable way of accommodating for two enemies acting independently; you just have to use your head and your judgment in the midst of fast battle, and i’m just not on that level, my dudes.
the thing with PV is that--well, for context, i’ve had the same charms practically welded to my player knight’s body for... basically the entire godmaster DLC?? i don’t change charms at the rest bench; i’ve used the same build for the entirety of pantheons 1, 2, 3, and 4, and it’s (usually in this order): unbreakable strength, unbreakable heart, quick focus, sharp shadow, and sprintmaster. heal fast, be fast, dash fast, and hit hard. if that build isn’t working for me, that’s on me, not on my charm build; it should be me as a player who’s getting better
one of the reasons is that i basically married sharp shadow the moment i got it. most of the fights i go through involve me sharp-shadowing through a boss’s attack. traitor lord in particular requires it; lost kin i could do without it, but probably not well. i’m a simple person: i see boss attacking me, i sharp shadow through them.
another thing is that because i’ve been using this charm build for so long, i’ve come to expect certain things: i know when in the routine i have the opportunity to heal, but it requires quick focus; you can’t reliably heal during NKG’s cape-spike attack unless you’ve got it. (like, you could do it, but not reliably.) i expect the protag to move at the 20%+ speed with sprintmaster; you can actually outrun lost kin’s homing jump at that speed. and sharp shadow in particular makes your dash longer; that, too, i’ve come to rely on; when i dash through NKG’s firebats attack, i dash through it with the assumption that sharp shadow has made the dash slightly longer than it is without sharp shadow, and i’ve accomodated to stand a little further back so i dont dash right into NKG’s face
WHICH BRINGS ME TO PV, because here’s the thing: when they teleport around the room, their teleportation time is set up just perfectly so that you can reliably sharp shadow through them. when they lunge, sharp shadow. when they do the three-swipe combo, sharp shadow. when they do the dagger summon, you can sharp shadow right through that one, too. PV is a perfect fight to sharp shadow through, which is basically what i did with the original hollow knight fight anyway, and most bosses with similar movesets to PV’s (hiveknight, false knight, lost kin, any other knight bosses i’m forgetting, sometimes hornet depending on the attack--i sharp shadow through her needle when she throws it, and then nail pogoing off her head while she reels the needle back in)
so you go through the entire fight with a pretty clear idea: PV teleports somewhere, and in almost every case, you can dash right at them. if they teleport above you, dash to the side (and then move back towards PV just a step, because sharp shadow will make you overshoot the safe zone between the blades). when they teleport and start doing the radiant light circle, there’s a pretty clear pose they strike that telegraphs that it’s a separate attack, and it’s easy to then run in the opposite direction.
the problem comes when PV hits 25% health, and starts using the void attacks, because they strike the exact same pose as when they’re about to do the light daggers. and because of the way the light daggers attack is set up, if you hesitate before reacting, you’ll get hit by those fuckers, so you’re trained to not think and just dash towards them. but if you dash towards PV when they’re doing the void tentacle attack, you’re going to get fucked, because there isn’t a safe zone right in front of them. you can’t like, get really close to them and avoid the tentacles; the only way to avoid the tentacles is to be above them, far far away from PV, or just behind PV altogether.
if you watch let’s players doing the fight, you’ll see that most of them actually counter PV’s attacks by automatically jumping, enabling them to nail pogo off PV’s head, and it makes sense because automatically jumping will set you up to avoid the void tentacles, alongside just about every other attack they can do. you’ll see them start to jump even for attacks that you don’t need to jump to avoid, because they’ve engrained into themselves that when you see the guy about to attack, don’t think, just fucking jump.
it’s if you go with sharp shadow as your method of avoidance that you wind up with a bad habit of rushing directly at them, leaving you to get fucked. the one upside is that then you can just start whaling on the dude since you just got hit anyway.
what i’m saying is that i can beat this dude on attuned, but only with coming out with a significant loss to my health. and knowing that their fight is not the last fight of the pantheon of hallownest means that i can’t afford to walk out of their fight half-beat up. so like????? i dont fucking know, my dudes. feels like the solution is to gid gud, tho.
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the luck i've had can make a good man turn bad
i meant to make a more fleshed out companion piece to my erasermight fic halley’s comet with alternative universe scenes or more reunions but i never came around to finish it so i’m just gonna post what i had here because i want it to see the light of day, i actually quite liked what i had so far.
if you dont feel like reading the original story, it’s an au where yagi and aizawa met in the first workplace experience aizawa had while they both were in high school.
before.
“Ah, Aizawa!”
Shōta flinched and turned around. The 1-B class had moved to the training grounds to hold a practical exercise with the two top students of Yūei and now one of them was jogging towards him. Shōta looked at him, his eyes inevitably following the movement of blond bangs swinging from side to side.
“Yagi.”
It was…. cute.
“I didn’t know you were in this class!” The way his smile broadened when he caught up to him felt like a bludgeon to the face. “How’ve you been? I didn’t hear from you since---”
“Oooh, does Aizawa have a private tutor for today’s assignment?”
He rolled his eyes. “Yamada---”
“Oh, hi Yamada!” Yagi slightly bowed his head at the loud underclassman. “Thank you again for inviting me to your radio show!”
Any trace of sarcasm in Yamada Hizashi’s face was wiped away by the honest enthusiasm in that voice. Shōta saw how his best friend started to stand on his tiptoes, his center of gravity shifting towards Yagi.
“Ah! I’m so thankful you can appear on my humble attempt at journalism!”
Shōta frowned. “You call hero gossip ‘journalism’?”
“Aizawa! So mean! It’s not gossip!”
“You always talk about your so called ‘sources’ but I have yet to--”
A soft chuckle made them both look at Yagi. His blue eyes crinckled at the edges and Shōta could see for the very first time how his eyelashes were the same color of his hair. Shōta closed his mouth so fast it made him wince.
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to laugh at you! It’s just that--," he tilted his head. “You really make a great pair.”
They blinked almost in synch but while Yamada laughed in his outdoors level yet again, Shōta lowered his head, trying to hide his flaming cheeks behind his hair.
“Oh, right! You met at field training, right? Did Aizawa behave?”
He frowned. “You are the problem child out of the two of us, Yamada.”
“Aizawa, buddy, you flatter me but you do have a nasty mouth of your own.”
“It’s not nasty if I just state the truth.”
Yagi’s head jumped from one face to the other, like he was following a very close tennis match.
“I’m sorry to say no one wants your truth, dude.”
“Aizawa was a great help, really!” Yagi moved his hands in front of him, like he was trying to physically disperse their worries. “Even if his wording was a bit… eh.”
Shōta glared at him on instinct and Yagi scratched his cheek.
“Even Yagi noticed! Were you mean to him, Aizawa? That’s so not cool.”
“I wasn’t,” Shōta crossed his arms and tried very hard not to look like a sulking child. “Plus, I learned a lot from my guide," Yagi perked up, his eyebrows lifting in anticipation. Shōta felt his face heating up again.
He knew that--- Yamada knew. His annoying best friend had gotten better at reading him and he was sure he was pale enough for him to notice his blush. If Shōta didn’t say what he knew they were expecting, they would just tease him until he gave in. He would probably feel even more embarrassed and end up in an awkward position. It would be better if he made it quick, painless.
Like ripping off a band-aid.
Shōta blinked. “And Yagi, too.”
That earned him a pleased smile and a soft flush colouring still-round cheeks. In the heartbeat before Yamada started cooing at him, Shōta thought it was worth it.
“Does Aizawa have---”
“Hey, Yagi!” They turned their heads towards the voice and were met by a menacing scowl. “Get your ass over here, we have to start the demonstration.”
“Ah, sorry, Todoroki!" He turned back, a slight frown creasing his forehead. “Aizawa, could you stay after class? There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Uh--”
“Hurry the fuck up!”
“Coming!”
They saw him jog to the front of the training field where Todoroki waited for him with his hands on his pockets. Shōta blinked. Did he---?
“Did you just get asked out?”
He inhaled. “If you say anything more I swear to god, Yamada, I’ll fill your locker to the brim with cockroaches.”
“Ew! Aizawa, you’re awful!”
The sun was high on the sky, and the nearby trees in the courtyard casted leaves-shaped shadows on Yagi’s face. The bell for lunch break had already rang and the soft buzz of chatter seemed to blanket them in an almost ridiculous amount of normalcy. Here, in his gray school jacket and not in those ridiculous primary colors of his hero outfit, Yagi Toshinori looked exactly 18 years old. A semester away from graduating, but very much a high school boy.
It made Shōta’s pulse quicken.
“So, what did you want to talk about that required this amount of dramatics?”
Yagi’s shoulders fell. “Dramatics?”
“You know, asking me to stay after class, meeting up by the side of the school building,” Shōta shrugged, willing his voice to stay in its usual monotone. “It’s kinda-- too much.”
A pretty red dyed Yagi’s cheeks. “That wasn’t my intention! I just didn’t want to make a big fuss about it, I know how you hate attention.”
“Unnecessary attention,” he corrected. Shōta huffed, moving a few strands of hair from his eyes. “And, Yagi, this probably had the opposite effect.”
He blinked.
“It did?”
“I’m positive, yeah.”
Yagi put a hand -big, with long fingers and thin white scars along the side of it- over his forehead and eyes and groaned.
“I just-- I wanted to ask you about your internship and if you were going to apply to the same place as in the workplace experience.”
Shōta lifted an eyebrow. “Why do you want to know?”
“I really liked pairing up in patrol with you,” Yagi let his hand fall until it was resting against the back of his neck. “I think we make a good team, and I like your perspective on battles.”
Shōta felt something warm expand from the center of his chest. His bones felt light, like they were made out of cotton candy.
“Oh.”
“Ah, but that doesn’t mean I want to force you to apply wherever I’m working! You can make any decision you want, of course!”
Shōta looked at him, at his rosy cheeks and sky blue eyes. At the way a few rays of sunlight had managed to reach his hair between the thick leaves, making a golden halo for the rising star.
He swallowed.
“I won’t be applying to the same hero office.” His voice was a whisper and he gritted his teeth at the way Yagi’s expression fell, how he seemed to wilt under his rejection. “Like I said, I learnt a lot from my guide and--,” he cleared his throat. “From you, Yagi. But that agency was too high profile for me, and I want to be able to work in more--- underground environments.”
He lowered his gaze.
“Ah, I see.”
There was something off about his tone. It was too subdued. It didn’t go with the boldness of his smile or the determination of his eyes. Shōta resisted the urge to look up.
It felt like something bigger had happened, bigger than just talking about a course. A divergence in the road, a clean cut. A crash of principles.
Shōta bit his lip until it became numb, shielded by his hair.
“Well, sorry about taking up your time, Aizawa.”
“It’s okay.”
“I’ll see you around, okay?”
But before he could respond, Yagi had left.
after.
Toshinori had been looking. Not as closely as he would have liked, not as openly either, but he had. That was how he could recognize him so quickly, even though his hair was longer and his scarf obscured most of his face. He grinded his teeth together to stop himself from saying his name out loud.
Aizawa Shōta restrained the unconscious villain with his capture weapon, tying him up to a lighting post.
Toshinori spared a heartbeat to look at his back, his figure framed by the soft glow of the street lamp. Then he wrestled the mutant user who had a shock absorption quirk to the ground, effectively burying him in the concrete so only his legs stuck out, flailing.
“Thank you, fellow hero!”
Eraserhead turned around and Toshinori had to restrain the shiver that wanted to follow the line of his spine. His eyes weren’t red but they bored into him like he was trying to dissect him by gaze alone.
Oh.
“If I knew you were at the scene I wouldn’t have come.”
Oh.
“Well, I am very glad you came to help! That villain’s quirk was proving to be quite annoying!”
Aizawa looked at the rest of the villain gang who were passed out in different parts of the street, some hanging from street lamps and others doubled over garbage cans.
“You say that but at most it probably delayed you by just a few seconds,” he hid his hands in his pockets. “Didn’t it, Mister Number 1 Hero?”
Toshinori wanted to pull at his bangs in frustration. He laughed instead.
“But my friend! A second can be vital in a fight where you are outnumbered!” He stretched his smile and saw him narrow his eyes. “Particularly something as dangerous as heat vision, if you hadn’t intervened the damages to the nearby buildings would have been greater.”
He didn’t reply to that, but knowing his underclassman that was probably the best response he could get. Toshinori started looking for something he could use as a rope to hold the members of the gang together while they waited for the police force to come get them.
But a faint rustling made him look up. Eraserhead was already on top of a lighting post, making his exit.
“You’re leaving?”
He lifted an eyebrow. “Do you need me to hold your hand until the cops arrive?”
“Shouldn’t you stay to give your account of the attack so they can make their report?”
“I don’t need that, I’m not big on getting my name on police files.”
“But I didn’t subdue them alone.”
Eraserhead shrugged. “You can take the credit for all I care.”
“I don’t take credit for other people’s work.”
They both blinked. Toshinori unclenched his fists, wondering with a pang of apprehension if he had let his uneasiness leak into his posture. Aizawa’s eyes surveyed every line in his expression, but they weren’t glowing red.
They never were, when he was looking at him.
“My apologies, I didn’t mean to imply you did,” he licked his lips and he lifted his chin, like he was trying to get a better look at Toshinori. “It’s just that I don’t mind since I literally just spent two seconds actually doing something here.”
He felt his face getting warm and thanked the protection of the shadows of the night. He hadn’t let his temper get the best of him since his debut.
“I’m very sorry, I was rude.”
“You really weren’t.”
“I didn’t mean to imply that you were implying--”
Eraserhead snorted. “It really doesn't need to be as complicated as you are making it.”
“Oh, okay.”
They regarded each other for a few seconds. Toshinori searched for the last remains of that short lived laugh on his face but Aizawa’s capture weapon didn’t let him. He bit his lip, the distance between them weighing him down like lead. He searched for things to say, to break the silence, to reach him like when they patrolled downtown Tokyo during their high school years.
He found nothing.
“Thank you for everything again.”
Eraserhead made a noncommittal noise.
“I hope I see you again, hero...?”
“Eraserhead. And I’m sure you won’t need to.”
And with that, Aizawa Shōta left. Toshinori kept his gaze on the lighting post, watching him leave him. Again.
#erasermight#allhead#my writing#i like writing yagi trying to be subtle but failing in some way or another#also i wanted to explore how hard it would be to pretend he doesnt know aizawa#maybe one day i'll write some more scenes of this verse and post it to ao3
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being depressing and longwinded again irls scroll away please tyyyyyy
another shitty evil thing abt mental illness is unless youre unusually privileged you cant really do anything to keep it from fucking up every single aspect of your life and making it practically impossible to live comfortably. and if youre like me and youre from a low income background you probably want some relief from all the stress and exhaustion that comes with not having enough money. i want a financially secure lifestyle, i want to splurge and go on vacations and eat whatever i want and own a home and not be below the poverty line for the rest of my life because its fucking miserable. but i cant do anything to escape it lmfao!!
im terrible at school and cant afford it anyway so idk if ill ever be able to go to college. i cant handle stress or uncomfortable lighting or noise or crowds or excessive human contact or total isolation or fast paced work or strict routines or nonspecific routines or average work hours or understanding and following instructions or interviews or emails or phone calls or video calls. i cant even drive yet because it's such a severe stressor and it requires me to pay attention to too many things at once.
so like what the fuck am i supposed to do lmfao. even if i landed a job, with my limitations it would definitely not pay well. and getting a job is hard enough, but keeping one is a whole other thing. at my best i can accomplish a few small daily tasks around the house. i can go see a friend once or twice a week. i can do some moderate exercise and i keep up with my hygeine pretty well. i'm still tired and agitated and living feels hard but all around things are pretty good.
but i also have periods where my symptoms prevent me from functioning at all. i dont sleep for says at a time because im so hypervigilant, my nightmares are worse, or i do nothing but lay in bed all day, i dont eat, i cant think, i cant remember anything, i struggle to speak, i cant change my clothes, i can't shower, i feel phantom hands, i forget my age and where i am, i make plans to kill myself, i have violent urges, i can't be touched or spoken to or even handle people being in the same area as me. it's not a matter of "if", its a matter of "when" because thats just the reality of my symptoms. it'll happen again inevitably, and then i wont have a fucking job at all.
i've been told in the past that i may qualify for disability but even if that's true i would need to stay below a certain income level to keep my benefits. so basically im going to struggle financially for the rest of my life on top of trying to survive with my symptoms and it will literally never end. lol
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Old vs. New: All That Jazz
Now, the video I love of this performance shows the events up to All That Jazz - Rachel requesting water and Cassandra letting her get it, then subsequently embarrassing her in front of the whole class.
However, what everyone knows is that this is a beginning dance class. All the students start on basics, and only basics, until they get it. The brief clips we have of the steps they're practicing are just that: basic. And nobody else in that class is out of breath besides Rachel. You know what that tells me? She's not practicing the steps. She hasn't been putting in the extra work outside of class. Which, in a school like NYADA, or a business like Broadway, is completely unrealistic. You have to know the basics by heart before you can learn the more complicated maneuvers. It's like learning how to fall properly in gymnastics, you have to get that first before they allow you to advance, so that you have the proper technique and won't hurt yourself. Now, three months in? Rachel should have improved stamina, especially if she practices outside of class.
Next, Cassandra tries something that doesn't work: motivating Rachel by telling her that she needs to improve, and comparing her to her competition and finding her lacking. This normally inspires people to either try harder, or even ask for help, which is what Cassandra is trying to do (if you look at this from a teaching standpoint). If you look at this from a Glee standpoint, Cassandra is trying to demoralize Rachel before a huge competition, which is what Rachel thinks. Now, Cassandra can say "it's not my fault that you don't understand my methods" because she's a professor in college. Also because she'd probably help someone if they asked her instead of just saying they've improved which is what Rachel does.
Now, Cassandra should have noticed that Rachel has improved. However, she does not need to compliment her on every little thing she improves on, because Rachel is only doing what she's requires to do - that honestly doesn't deserve special recognition when every other person in the class has also gotten better because that's what you're supposed to do in a class like this.
And then, we challenge each other to All That Jazz.
Now, in the first few seconds, you can see Rachel gearing up to do the usual when she has a sing off like this: get in her opponents face first, blast then with the power of her voice, and continue to overwhelm them. Cassandra has already predicted this: either she understands Rachel very well, or she's had cocky students do this to her before.
Now, the reason I love Cassandra July shows: she dances. Now, yes, I know that Glee dances almost all the time, but Cassandra is different because she's subtle. The hip movements, her posture, that little spin with "Come on babe, we're gonna paint the town". Now, people might say that it's easy to do the sort of choreography she displays in the opening. That kind of controlled slide down is just poetry - and the sort of sultry subtlety that Glee hasn't really done before. And Rachel, instead of appreciating the sort of lesson she is getting here, just nods her head like she can do better. Her face when Cassandra does the leg tilt with the "All the that jazz" line before they switch is her "oh shit she's actually good" moment that I die at. The fact that she thinks she can outperform a Broadway veteran who had time to refine her trade...
Anyways, Rachel's first turn with the aspirin line. Her choreography her is honestly, relatively easy. I could learn it, given a bit of time. She doesn't do any lifts, none of the subtle head movements that Cassandra employs, and focuses on accenting her voice with her movements, rather than blending the two. None of the moves she does are complicated or very hard to replicate. I would have been impressed if she crossed the room in a way that wasn't sliding across the floor, because while that looked cool, accentuated her long note, and required upper body strength it was still something most people could do.
Now, Cassandra jumps over the barre (sorry if that's the incorrect name)! Swiftly, with style, and showing little to no effort. And then the CHOREOGRAPHY. This is what I have wanted from Glee for so long. Fast, quick, elegant movements, quick steps. The fact that she gets pulled into that split - !! That is so impressive.
And look, Rachel is standing on top of the piano, not moving, and just singing. Typical of the New Directions, honestly. If they can't step backwards and forwards, do male and female pairings to slow dance with, or do extremely basic steps, they dont really know what to do with themselves.
And when Rachel gets off the piano she's so smug, like she's already won. And the single best moment of this song is when Cassandra attempts to teach her: the spot where she makes her move and then dances with her is to emphasize that she has a lot of learning to do. Shes showing her that Rachel doesn't dance when she's singing and she'll have to. That she needs to learn how to do so.
Cassandra literally shows Rachel how much more advanced she is, and Rachel doesn't see because she's only trying to win. She relies on flipping her hair, climbing props, and basic dancing steps - while thinking she's going to win. Cassandra demonstrates subtleties in dancing, advanced technique, and even attempts to get Rachel to acknowledge her shortcomings. And instead, Rachel ignores her unspoken and spoken advice.
(I am in fact pretending that Cassandra is more that bitter and jealous person that Glee portrayed her as)
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AY2019/2020 Y1S1 Module Review
AY2019/2020 year 1 semester 1 review
Started school around august after orientation camp in july, and had to study after doing nothing for months after a levels and finally had the taste of the rigour of this major.. semester 1 went by too quickly..
Modules taken this semester:
CS1010S
MA1101R
MA1521
BT1101
GER1000
CS1010S Programming Methodology (Python)
Prof: Ben Leong
Exam Dates: 2 Oct (Midterm) / 16 Nov (Practical Exam) / 27 Nov (Finals)
Weightage:
Coursemology – 25% (25%)
Participation – 5% (5%)
Midterm test – 15% (-)
Practical exam – 15% (20%)
Final assessment – 40% (50%)
(those in brackets are for those taking alternative final)
S in CS1010S is for science students, most students are either science students (DSA/ Life Science plenty) or BZA students.
Overall this module easily had the highest workload compared to other modules, having to rush missions every week, complete tutorials (this is pretty standard duh) and lecture trainings before deadlines for bonus points on a gamified platform. One could sit at their table wracking their brains for the whole day and still not be able to come up with a feasible code, or have their codes stuck with some bugs and not knowing how to continue. Really, without the help from fellow friends this module would be hard to get through. Luckily my TA was kind (and patient!) enough to explain such that my brain could get it. Ended up having to IP this module sadly… This module really requires your wholehearted devotion and really tests your patience i must say, especially for people who are not too intellectually inclined (aka me)..
They introduced a new scheme this semester aka Alternative Final, meaning you get to retake your midterm and finals by tabao-ing it into the next sem except you do your finals during the recess week instead of the finals, kinda like a half-retaking a module? Your grades for finals are IP-ed (in progress) rather than letter grades and the finals and midterms will be accounted for in the following half a semester albeit under different weightage components.
They said its a introductory module, but …………..
This year’s practical exam was particularly hard i think i had friends (even the zai ones) getting single digit marks… banked full in on the Method of Life question (Q5) of finals which is a giveaway question asking you how you can apply the concepts to other parts of your life and your main take-aways from taking this module (filled up the whole page and got full marks for it 4m) without this question i would have failed the paper..
Now i have to work hard the next sem… its kinda sad for us BZA students because CS1010S is a prerequisite for those wanting to take BT2101 and CS2030/2040 modules in the following semester (y1s2). Future students (esp BZA) please take the advice to consider this when deciding whether to IP…. because guess who didnt and regretted not thinking deeper…..
Ah one more thing to take note is the weightage is quite different for those IP/ alternative final people, theres higher weightage for the papers :_D
Ben Leong is a pretty good lecturer, hes solid in delivering concepts except my brain may be a little too slow for him.. Theres also lecture videos online that you can refer to and thousands of papers (with solutions!!) waiting for you to do.. something uncommon for many modules i heard? also, you get to see your final (scanned) paper through a website, in ben leong’s words “how cool is that?” he also uploads the mark scheme for your reference which is pretty cool imo. He’s a very interesting lecturer.
MA1521 Calculus for Computing
Prof: Leung Pui Fai
Exams: No midterms, just an online quiz (4 questions, most get full marks for), and the finals
Weightage: cant really rmb the weightage but i think its 40-60? i think tutorial attendance isnt graded..
They said this was just a repeat of H2 maths with more stuffs well boy i must say this wasnt as easy as they said.. okay maybe for me, ive always struggled with maths for a really long time. Surprisingly got a B for H2 Maths, i got a B3 for O levels really the blemish in my results. Got a B- for this module. Many people will say this is an easy module, you can trust them a little different in my shoes i guess. I didnt turn up for lectures for the half part of the semester since he talks a bit too slowly so i just watch the webcast sped up. But being a procrastinator i’m really behind on webcasts by the time the exams came.. i think i spent too much time on CS1010S and its still not enough.. if you dont have the discipline to watch them religiously at home, i would suggest you go for the lecture even though he may talk abit slowly but it forces you to not miss out on them. I dont really had the time (is it i wonder?) to do the tutorials either so i was also behind on them.. most of the time i just sat for tutorials and took the answers down to only work on them many weeks later (much regrets) so i didnt really understood what was going on as the TA went through. please dont be like me… the recess week was for sure not enough to revise/ learn all the content for all your mods for both midterms/finals so please dont be lazy like me…. this is the suffering i brought upon myself TT
Overall i think. it is not that hard a mod if you do your work consistently.. things got a little confusing towards the end i heard they dropped a whole chapter this semester glad they did.
MA1101R Linear Algebra I
Prof: Wang Fei
Weightage:
Finals (28 Nov, 2h)— 60%.
Mid-term test (4 Oct, 2h)— 20%.
3 homework assignments (4% per assignment) — 12%.
An in-class Lab (MATLAB) quiz — 8%.
This was one of my most hardest period in my life and i say this on PERIODT. As if maths wasnt tough enough, this will really declare a survival of the fittest among your remaining brain cells. Friends told me maths came into their dreams… pls extinguish my soul. You must be thinking i am crazy for wanting to take 2 math mods in a sem right? ?
Yeahh no one really does that but it was my idea because i didnt want to do maths together with all the core core mods (BT and CS) next sem so i decided ah i should just get maths over and done with ( hAH real joke bc i couldnt clear CS1010S and i cant take 2k level mods for BT and CS and unlocked clown outfit because theres one more ST2334 core mod that involves probability and stats so much for thinking i will be over and done with for dealing with maths– someone tell me why did i choose this major again?)
Somehow along the way i realised the bell curve for this was surprisingly high i think those who chose this mod intend to delve even deeper in mathematics, mayhaps i joined the wrong major. The R in MA1101R actually stands for rigorous i didnt realise until my friend read the fine prints in the SOC Course Curriculum for BZA or sumn. Pure hell. There are 3 homework assignments (graded mind you) and most of the students get around 50++/60 i think i was the one of the rare few who flunked quite badly and always eyeballed by my TA (who is a prof for some 3k or 4k level maths, not for this mod though). I approached him for consults and for help and he was nice enough to sit me down and explain slowly. He’s pretty good at explaining slowly although he’s pretty fast in class (and most of the semester i had close to ZERO idea what was going on in class for pretty much most of the mods). Shockingly managed to pull out a C from my butt. The intellect of the students are no joke.. Homework assignments are every 3 weeks starting week 6 i think (so week 6, 9, 12) and i think are there to make sure you catch up with the work.
Oh lectures-wise, i sat for ½ of his classes, i really absorb almost nothing.. the rest of the lecture hall seem to get it though or so it seems. so i stopped attending my own lectures to watch the webcast for Prof Victor Tan too. His webcasts/lectures are really popular and it really owe it to his teaching, apparently he taught Wang Fei before and of course had over ten more years of experience. WF’s lecture turn-outs are comparatively less compared to VT. And on panopto (webcast platform) i think it was almost always 360++ views for VT as compared to a 80++/ was it 30++ for WF if i recall correctly. VT slides are also more concise and simple to understand where as WF’s ones are similar to the textbook. You are also required to purchase a textbook for this module costs around $20 from the co-op store in science and i urge you to purchase it asap when the profs announce they are made available bc they run oos quite fast.. the tutorial questions are from the textbook and the textbook is very simple and straightforward and put together by some of the lecturers/profs in school.
BT1101 Introduction to Business Analytics
Prof: Dr Sharon Tan, Desmond Ong
Weightage:
1. Online Quiz & Datacamp Assignments — 7%
Tutorial 1-4 — 8%
Tutorial 5 onwards — 15%
In-class Assessment (Written) — 10%
Practical Assessment — 20%
Final Assessment — 40%
In class assessment is held 2ish weeks after your midterms week so its kinda like your midterms?
Mm i would say this module is the most ?? its hard to put in words but if you read up the confessions page (NUSwhispers) regularly you would see many complaints that the mod is structured not as neatly as CS1010S its quite here and there everywhere and personal opinion, sometimes i dont know what i am supposed to learn but i guess its like that? The profs seem to value not wanting to spoonfeed and us learning on our own and stuff like that. I heard the mod was much harder in previous years and they simplified it a lot compared to in the past (which i really thank god) but its still a bit ?? They split it into two halves, first half of the sem is taught by Dr ST (Descriptive Analytics) and the next half by DO (Prescriptive and Predictive Analytics).
There are online videos to be watched every week even though you get lectures once every 2 weeks when Dr ST teaches and tutorials to be submitted to your TAs that are graded only after about 6/7 weeks. They leave comments (½ sentences someitmes shorter) and your marks received and thats about all so you dont really know where you went wrong since they are not marked paper and pen way. The tutorials are coding exercises for questions using the R language. They also used Datacamp to drill some of the basics of R for a headstart. Her workshop style lectures are a lot of on the spot learning how to code and stuff which i lag behind a bit because she goes a bit fast in order to cover everything. We learn new content via the online videos that we have to watch every week and theres quizzes for them too weekly iirc.
The next half by DO had no online videos (great!! and no quizzes!!) but weekly lectures and graded tutorials are due every 2 weeks(!!). There are still weekly tutorials but its only graded for every 2nd one, wow this saved me a lot of time phew. I didnt get to do the tutorials for those that are not graded but read through the questions so that i get a gist of whats going on, and somehow i really dont have the time to do it? CS1010S really absorbed a large chunk of my time cries. Finals was a oK it was not that bad i think. There are 20 MCQs and then about 4 structured questions? Closed-book with 1 A4 sheet cheatsheet.
Oh and the bad part about the tutorials are the tutors wont provide you with the model answers/codes so you’re really just on your own. You either get it or nah. :_D
GER1000 Quantitative Reasoning
Weightage:
1. Tutorial — 10%
2. 10 Weekly Quizzes — 20%
3. Project —35% (Presentation 10%, Final Report 25%)
4. Finals (28 MCQs, 2h) — 35%
No lectures so no profs, just weekly online videos and quizzes.
Tutorials are every odd/even weeks depending on the slot you chose.
Groups are arranged by the TAs beforehand.
This was pre-allocated for us so (grits teeth). Honestly a waste of time. One of the mods i neglected till the end to focus on other mods (which was worth it). The workload was manageable, of course (if not how to neglect). Every 2 week you meet together wiht your groupmates to discuss tutorial questions (each group will discuss 1 qn) and every tutorial class ended about 30min earlier. Nearing the end theres a group project report and slides to be done. Report is in the form of QnA so you just answer the questions and slides/ presentation is going through an article of a topic you chose (theres about 10) and you analyse the QR part of it what is good what can be better, etc. Theres also a bit of the stats part with probability and stuff but its a OK. Bell curve steep for finals (40 MCQ, 2h) but most finished in 1h and left the hall, i was one of the few who stayed till the end even though i was just staring at the paper into the depths of my soul for reasons unknown) It’s a lot about experiments not really the scientific/ calculations part of it but understanding about coming up with experiments, the pros and cons of carrying things out a certain way in loose terms something like the art of crafting experiments? makes you think a bit deeper how and what people think and not so dry i guess.
Epilogue
i guess thats a wrap–new semester starts soon :( i think this might be the first module/semester review tumblr blog but i hope this can be of help to anyone, to anyone at all. the owner of many of similar review blogs get really stellar results which i may be too out of league from so i hope this brings comforts to those who are doing not so well and encourage them because im not any different we exist, and we’ll survive.
CARPE DIEM 2020 LETS GEDDIT
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Chapters: 5/20 Fandom: Haikyuu!! Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Kindaichi Yuutarou/Kunimi Akira, Kyoutani Kentarou - Relationship Additional Tags: Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru - Freeform, they dont officially get together by the end so they dont go in the ship tags, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, War, Blood Series: Part 4 of Royalty AU
It was normal, but it wasn’t.
The castle was how it had always been, how Shigeru had always seen it since he had moved here as a little boy. Muted pastels, casual richness. It was elegant, if minimalist.
But it was all wrong.
Shigeru could hear the shouts in the distance, coming closer with each passing minute. And he sat there mutely, like a good boy, like he’d always been trained to do.
Father sat by the door, as calm and collected as he’d always appeared. If Shigeru hadn’t learned which signs to look for, he wouldn’t have seen the fear at all. He wouldn’t have seen death approaching in Father’s eyes.
Then there were strangers around them, men with swords, and Shigeru couldn’t get enough air in his lungs. Father was pushing him out into the hallways and telling him to run, and Shigeru was trying to say he wouldn’t leave alone, when…
When the blood from the artery in Father’s neck sprayed all over him.
Shigeru sat up, barely biting down on the scream in his throat. Shinji stirred, the light sneaking under the cloak they’d thrown over both of them. Shigeru tried to lay back down, tried to let them both go back to sleep – it was barely afternoon, and they would be walking all night again – but Shinji was both too good and too terrible a friend to let him.
“Nightmare again?” he asked. Shigeru nodded. “Same thing?”
“Always the same thing,” Shigeru replied. “As if living it once wasn’t enough.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“What’s there to talk about?” Shigeru scoffed. “I watched my father die. It’s not like repeating that will make it go away.”
“You can talk about other stuff,” Shinji said softly, trying not to disturb the others. “It’s okay to say you miss home, or things like that.”
“Not really helpful, though, is it?” Shigeru said. “Go back to sleep, Shinji. We have to be up in the evening to teach me how to use a sword, right? Can’t have me holding everyone back.”
“You’re not holding everyone back.”
“I’m pretty sure being the only one with no idea how to fight is making me the weak link here.”
“It’s not your fault you don’t know how to fight. You weren’t trained. You weren’t supposed to be a warrior.”
“But I have to be now,” Shigeru argued. “It doesn’t matter. Just go to sleep. You can watch Kyouken glare at me in a few hours.”
Shinji quieted down, his breathing evening out until Shigeru was sure his friend had fallen back into a light sleep. Shigeru had pretty much given the prospect up for lost.
He’d had a nightmare basically every night since they’d fled from Seijoh, and after a few weeks, it was less traumatizing and more exhausting. Shigeru would give just about anything for a good night’s sleep.
Well. A good day’s sleep. In the interest of not risking drawing attention to themselves by having a fire to protect sleeping people during the night, they spent their nights moving about as necessary and their days sleeping in relative safety. Evenings were their most productive, the time when they gathered what food they could find and did their best to either make supplies or find alternatives.
It was the time they trained.
Matsukawa had been the captain of the castle guard, and he was a good teacher – patient, blunt when necessary, and with a good eye for problems. The thing was, Shigeru wasn’t learning fast enough. Even though he objectively knew it wasn’t entirely his fault that he’d been trained from birth to be more of a prize than an independent person. His skills were sitting still and looking pretty, and twisting the conversation to show off his best points, not holding a weapon.
Not that he’d ever liked that life very much. It wasn’t like he’d had a choice. It was uncommon for omegas to be treated like that in Seijoh, but not entirely unheard of. His father had been a social climber, and marrying a son off to a higher ranked noble would have catapulted his father up the social ladder.
Shigeru grimaced at the memory of his father presenting him to the crown prince of Shiratorizawa, when Ushijima-sama had come down from the north seeking a queen. He’d been fourteen at the time, and still had had to play like some kind of seducer, which had felt very gross and a little embarrassing at the time. Luckily, Ushijima-sama had recognized the situation for what it was and had been kind in turning Shigeru down.
Father had been starting to give him sideways looks, talking about getting him a good marriage before he got too old. As if he wasn’t only twenty. As if he wasn’t still young for a mating pair in Seijoh.
No matter how much Shigeru had resented his father, he was still his father, and Shigeru had watched him die. If he was in the mood for introspection, he’d admit that it was more traumatizing than he wanted to think about.
Too bad he wasn’t in the mood for introspection, and wouldn’t be for the foreseeable future.
He only had to wait a few hours, pretending to sleep in the hopes that he actually would get a little more rest, before Shinji started to stir for real. Sunlight was fading fast, and everyone was starting to wake up.
Shigeru stretched his neck until it cracked. Sleeping on the hard ground wasn’t exactly doing wonders for his spine, not that he was going to be the first to complain about it. If he’d wanted an easy life, he could’ve voted to go north, where at least they’d probably have shelter.
He and Shinji went to get water from the stream they’d been following. Having a source of fresh water was one of the few things keeping them going, since new sources of food were few and far between. Kyoutani had managed to trap some animals, but it was hardly a steady source. They would probably have to find somewhere to get real supplies if they wanted to continue this for much longer.
They ran into Kyoutani on their way back from the stream, and Shinji had long since learned to take the water skin from Shigeru’s hands. Shigeru narrowed his eyes at the scowl Kyoutani directed at them.
“What’s your problem?” he snapped, probably angrier than he needed too, but Kyoutani had rubbed him the wrong way from the start.
“I don’t have a problem,” Kyoutani said, his voice a low grumble.
“Really?” Shigeru asked. “Because you look like you do. Maybe that’s just your awful teamwork skills showing, though.”
Shigeru might have been the worst fighter by a significant margin, but Kyoutani was nearly as bad when Matsukawa tried to do any drill that required cooperation. He’d pay no attention to stealth, running in and attacking whatever target they were practicing on because apparently “it doesn’t feel good unless I hit them with all I’ve got.”
“At least I can actually use a sword,” Kyoutani snapped back. “What’s so hard about it? Just stick them with the pointy end. Even you should be able to handle that.”
“Even me?” Shigeru nearly shrieked. “I’m not stupid. It’s not my fault I’m not some meathead alpha that’s been hitting everything in sight since the day I learned I had arms.”
“Maybe you’d be less useless if you had,” Kyoutani shot at him. “Just stay with Maiya and help watch the children. Hanamaki can defend himself, at least.”
“He’s practically going to have to defend himself from you!” Shigeru yelled, getting in Kyoutani’s face. “You always rush in, and last time you nearly broke Kindaichi’s ankle! At least I won’t be getting someone on my own team killed!”
“Yes you will!” Kyoutani barked. “They’ll be covering your ass, because you can’t cover it yourself with your princess complex, and they’ll die!”
“That is enough.”
Shigeru felt a hand in the back of his shirt, yanking him away from Kyoutani. Kyoutani was yanked away at the same time, head snapping back. Matsukawa looked at them both, a supremely unamused look on his face.
“You two need to realize that we are on the same side here,” Matsukawa told them. “You’re not helping by going for each other’s throats every time you’re within spitting distance. I get that it’s not easy to be an unmated alpha and omega around each other…”
“That’s not…” Shigeru sputtered.
“He’s not…” Kyoutani started.
“…but you’re going to have to learn how to share space,” Matsukawa continued, not missing a beat at their outbursts. “Avoid each other if you have to. I’m sick of breaking up your fights every time you look at each other.”
Matsukawa let go of their shirts, leaving them to it. Shigeru turned back to Kyoutani.
“Just for the record, Kyouken-chan,” Shigeru started sweetly, “I wouldn’t sleep with you if you were the last person on earth and I was in the middle of heat.”
“The feeling is mutual,” Kyoutani grumbled. “And stop calling me that.”
“But it’s a perfect nickname,” Shigeru said. He really didn’t want to get scolded again today, though, so he took off after Matsukawa’s retreating back. He fell in step with the older beta, following him to a flat part of the clearing they’d settled in to work on footwork.
“You don’t have to pick a fight with him every time, you know,” Matsukawa said. “He mostly keeps to himself if you just leave him alone.”
“He’s always glaring at me,” Shigeru replied. “Am I just supposed to take that?”
“I think that’s just his face,” Matsukawa said. “I doubt he has a problem with you specifically. Well. I doubt he had a problem with you when you met. He probably doesn’t like you now.”
“Good. I don’t like him.”
“Just show me your footwork.”
Shigeru complied, going through the drills Matsukawa had given him to work on while he worked with everyone else, who actually knew what they were doing.
“Better,” Matsukawa said when he was done.
“But not perfect,” Shigeru said. He’d felt where he’d stepped wrong, where he hadn’t moved his body right. He’d tried, but it was like his limbs just wouldn’t obey him.
“I don’t expect you to be perfect yet,” Matsukawa told him. “Honestly, this kind of progress would be cause for praise in a new recruit back in Seijoh. You’re learning fast. This won’t happen overnight.”
“We don’t have the luxury of progressing at the pace of a new recruit in Seijoh,” Shigeru said. “I need years’ worth of training, and I need it soon. I don’t want to be a burden.”
“You don’t have to fight to help us,” Matsukawa said. “You can always help take care of a base camp with Makki or Maiya.”
“I don’t want to be just some docile omega that hangs out waiting for his alpha to come home,” Shigeru sighed.
“Keeping a safe place ready and protected is just as important as going off to fight,” Matsukawa said, giving him a reproachful look. “Makki and Maiya both know how to fight, but they stay back anyway, and it’s not just to look after their children. They understand the importance of having a place where we can tend to wounds and regroup. Makki knows a bit about healing, and Maiya probably has some arcane knowledge she found on some adventure. Why not let them teach you and help us that way?”
“I don’t want to be a healer, either,” Shigeru said, knowing exactly how petulant he sounded and not really caring. “I want to fight!”
“There’s more than one way to fight a war,” Matsukawa sighed. “You have a mind for it that’s probably only rivaled by Kunimi’s.”
“I don’t know anything about battle strategy,” Shigeru said. “And if I did, that would all be based on armies, not vigilantes.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Matsukawa said. “You have a mind for diplomacy. I’ve heard your conversations with Watari. You can talk your way out of anything. That’s a skill not many people have, and you can probably do it better than Kunimi, even if Kunimi has long term planning skills that you don’t. That’s something we can use, if we find the right people.”
“What are you planning?” Shigeru asked.
“It’s Kunimi’s idea, mostly,” Matsukawa admitted. “He thinks Seijoh refugees that couldn’t get out of the castle or couldn’t get north will probably be gathered into one place so Karasuno can keep an eye on them. That’s the kind of place where a rebellion can start, if you have the right words.”
Shigeru’s eyes widened. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. He hadn’t thought this could actually work. Mostly, when he thought about where this ended, he thought about going out in a blaze of glory, killing foreign soldiers the same way his father had been slaughtered.
But now there was an endgame.
“Keep working on your footwork and forms,” Matsukawa told him. “If you’re determined to be a fighter, the basics are what will carry you through. It won’t happen in a day, but if you keep working as hard as you have been, I can promise you’ll see results. Just don’t forget to keep your other weapons sharp.”
Shigeru nodded, falling back into practicing the drills as Matsukawa went to the others. He felt himself step almost right this time, his core and arms almost in sync. He grinned.
He wasn’t going down easily.
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They start meeting just about every day after school, at Regan’s house. The first few times, it’s a lot of demonstrations and a lot of Jason getting knocked on his back. He’s sorer than he’s been since he finished his physical education requirements.
It’s still worth it, though. Both for knowing he’ll have a better chance of defending himself, and for when he successfully gets out of Regan’s grip and feels a swell of pride, earns a big grin.
“You’re a quick learner,” Regan compliments, when Jason manages to successfully counter a grapple. Jason’s top is drenched with sweat and Regan barely looks tired, so that’s still a problem, but Jason can already feel himself getting stronger.
“Or you’re a good teacher,” Jason counters, using his shirt to wipe sweat off his forehead.
“Let’s go with both, then we can both feel good.”
Jason laughs a little. Over the course of the last week, he’s gotten increasingly comfortable with Regan. It’d been awkward to be around him without his binder on at first, but Regan hadn’t even seemed to note it. And it’s easy to get comfortable with someone who unquestioningly backs off when you call uncle in a sparring match.
“How long did it take you to get good at this?” Jason asks, going to get a sip of water.
“Well, I’ve been in sports on and off since I was pretty young.”
“So I’m as good as you were when you were eight?” He guesses.
“Pff. More like eleven.”
“That’s sooo much better.”
“Hey, if you keep up the good work, you’ll close the gap eventually.”
“Eventually,” Jason sighs. “Guess we should get back to work, then.”
The next day, he feels a bit like his arms are about to fall off. Lugging his backpack around all day is hellish. At least it’s a satisfying sort of burn. The kind he knows means he worked hard.
Still, he can’t help but be relieved that there’s no film club today. He gets picked up and dropped off at home and gets to flop down on the couch and just breathe. It’s a recovery day, so he’s going to do approximately nothing but watch T.V. Maybe study a little, if the news doesn’t stop popping on talking about the Camera Killer’s most recent video.
At least, that’d been the plan. His dad starts to fumble around in the kitchen, walks into the living room, back into the kitchen, then back out, juggling a number of files, floorplans, a thermos, his wallet, and his cellphone.
“You alright there?” Jason asks, watching his dad struggle to sort through a couple papers.
“Yeah, just-” He checks his phone, quickly, then pulls some money out of his wallet and holds it out to Jason. “Some problem came up at the house I’m working on and I need to go check it out. Ask my contractor how it is going to affect the budget. I didn’t get to go grocery shopping, so just run down to the 7/11 and grab something. I’ll bring you late dinner when I get this worked out.”
“I…” Jason stares at the money, then looks up at his dad nervously.
His dad is confused for a second, and then the gears start turning. “Hey,” he says, sympathetically, “it’s only a fifteen minute walk there and back. I’ve got my phone on me, you’ve been doing your self defense stuff. Just make sure to go while it’s still light out.”
“Right…” Even though he takes the money, he doesn’t look too pleased about it.
“I’ll probably be home around eight,” his dad informs him before rushing out.
Jason puts it off for as long as he can, before he actually has to start worrying about the sun going down. Before he steps out the door, he messages Regan.
Jason: walking down to 7/11. let’s hope I don’t have to use my new skillset. :^/
Regan: you got this jj
Jason smiles a little at the nickname, wondering if he could make an equivalent for Regan. R.A.? No. That’s what you call the dorm advisor in college.
Regan: remember if a big guy comes at you, use his weight against him
Jason: what do I do if a small guy comes at me?
Regan: tell him you know dmitri and he’ll have to stop. short guy code
Regan: fr tho momentum is ur friend
Regan: hmm. maybe i should draft dmitri for short guy sparring practice
Jason: I feel like he would bite me.
Regan: he would definitely bite you
Jason: how would I explain that to my parents?
Regan: tell them ur new gf is kinky
Jason: I’m pretty sure that’s how you get grounded.
Talking with him is making this walk a lot less nerve-wracking. Constant communication, focusing on anything but his paranoia.
Regan: wat are you buying?
Jason: chips, probably. or ice cream.
Regan: bro
Jason: what?
Regan: bro youre trashing ur body
Jason: omfg. what healthy thing could i buy from 7/11!!
Regan: multigrain bar or some nuts
Jason: what swamp did your tastebuds crawl out of?
Jason: creature from the black legume.
Regan: dont diss legumes dude
Jason: I’m buying a slushie out of spite.
He walks into the store, hearing the jingle of the bell overhead. He’s got just enough to buy himself a slushie, a bag of chips, and a candy bar.
Jason: mission success- bought junk food without dying.
Regan: 🎉
Jason: now for the encore.
Jason steps out of the 7/11 and starts the short journey home. Drinking from his slushie makes texting a little harder, but he’s so got this.
Jason: so what’re you up to?
Regan: just got home from riley’s
Regan: gonna make myself a salad like a responsible teen
Jason: meanwhile I’ve got chocolate.
Regan: i should make a chocolate vinaigrette
Jason: you cook?
Regan: hell yeah dude
Regan: i dont know how to make a chocolate vinaigrette tho
Regan: that was a joke
Regan: i guess i could look it up
Regan: i make a mean half moon pie i should make some for you sometime
Jason: I don’t know what that is but it has pie in it so I’m in.
He takes another big slurp of his drink and grins around his straw when Regan starts to ramble about how to make this dessert.
Then something is wrapped around his throat. A presence suddenly behind him, a taut rope wrapped around his neck, strong arms pulling back. Everything falls out of his hands when he yelps in surprise.
He wasn’t paying attention.
His mind races. Choking. How to- he tries to tuck his chin, but the rope is under it, that doesn’t help, this isn’t a choke hold.
The rope is digging in and up, any time he tries to get solid footing, another yank almost makes his feet almost leave the ground. He flails, elbows, grabs at the unknown assailant’s face. The more effort he exerts, the more his lungs scream in protest.
Unfortunately, he can’t do the same; his voice coming out rasped and restricted.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. None of Regan’s lessons prepared him for this.
He tries to dig his fingers under the rope, shift his weight to ease the pressure, throw off the attacker’s center of balance, but none of it works. His vision slowly gets dark around the edges. His brain is still on full panic, heart hammering rapidly. But his consciousness goes soft and for the second time in very few days, he blacks out.
Waking up this time isn’t like last time. It isn’t a slow climb out of a muddled state. It’s sharp, disorienting; he was in one place but now he’s in another.
And this place is very dark and this time there’s no Sidney kicking walls or silly harmless clocks.
There’s just frigid cold. Pale light coming in through high windows, casting long shadows. He can barely look around. He’s strapped to a chair. With mild horror, he realises it’s a dentist’s chair. Modified, his legs and arms bound. The bindings are tight. No silly amatuer stuff, no pulling at the right angle to get out. Fear seizes him. His stomach is doing flips.
He’s alone, for quite some time. He doesn’t know how long. The light outside is fading fast. He dropped his cellphone. What if the killer has it? What if he texts his friends, parents? No one will even know he’s missing. Not until tomorrow.
A door creaks from somewhere and he tries to twist and look, but his mobility is a little limited right now. There’s a sound of rolling wheels, along with heavy, booted footsteps.
“Hey,” Jason croaks, before he can even consider if it’s a good idea to speak.
“Mr. Joon-ho, you’re awake,” comes a low southern drawl from somewhere behind him. “I hope you had a nice nap, because we are going to be very busy.” The voice slowly rounds round until Jason can see its owner. It’s deep and rich, the kind of voice that would be soothing, if not for the fact that it is coming from behind what is clearly a mask of cured human skin.
The rest of his clothes look too normal. Jean jacket, plaid shirt...hunting gloves. He’s pushing a cart with what can only be described as an array of sharp tools on it.
That comes to a stop a good five feet away, but the man paces closer.
Jason can see his chapped lips and dark eyes through the rough cuts in the mask, hear his heavy, unfiltered breathing, imagining the humidity inside the mask; he feels nauseous, wants to cry.
“Let me out of here,” he demands, tries to sound insistent, but he knows how scared he sounds. He gets a laugh in return. A short one, a facsimile of politeness, like he’s chuckling at a dear friend’s witty joke.
“Bless your heart,” the killer says, and Jason’s skin itches. “Can’t do that, little buddy. You see, you’re a delicacy.” He plants a hand on Jason’s arm. “Surviving five murder attempts? That’s some kinda record. I’d love to let you marinate for a bit longer. Seen how you’ve been strengthening up. Would taste a lot better with some meat on you.”
His other gloved hand pats Jason’s face and Jason’s brain goes haywire as he realizes who this is. He jerks and tries to curl in on himself, but he can’t. He can’t protect his squishy middle bits from what this fucker is no doubt about to do to them.
“But let’s face it. You’re just a pit stop on my cross country tour. Can’t wait around any longer.” The Cannibal withdraws both his hands and taps his chin. “In fact-” And he’s moving back to that cart.
“Help!” Jason shouts, as loud as he can, jerking against his restraints. The sounds bounce uselessly off the walls.
“Hey now,” the Cannibal says, turning around, walking back towards him with some nondescript item in his hand. Jason can only see the handle. “None of that. There’s no one out here, anyways. And you should save your voice. There will be plenty of time for screaming later.”
“Fuck you,” Jason says, throat tight. Before he knows what happens, he feels a burst of pain. The Cannibal just punched him in the face with a meaty fist. His head is spinning.
“Watch your language,” the Cannibal comments, even voice turning acidic for just a second. Jason laughs as he feels the blood flow from his nose, tastes it on his lips. This guy’s about to carve him up like a Christmas ham and he doesn’t want to hear him swear. Incredible.
The object shifts from one of the Cannibal’s hands to the other and Jason can see, now, through skewed glasses, that it’s a potato peeler. Just a run of the mill potato peeler. His stomach sinks.
“Any gourmet worth his salt is always going to sample his ingredients,” the Cannibal jokes as he seems to test the sturdiness of the peeler against his glove.
“Why do you do this?” Jason asks.
The peeler halts. “I already told you you’re a delicacy. A rare treat.”
“No, why do you do this?! This sh- stuff, why do you-”
“Well aren’t you precious?” The Cannibal asks. “You still believe in motives.” He presses the peeler to the side of Jason’s face. When Jason tries to turn his head, the other hand comes to hold him still. “I do it because I want to, and because no one can stop me.”
The peeler doesn’t rake down fast. It digs in, and carves, slicing off a strip on his right cheek in a slow, agonizing pull. It hurts, sears, like the world’s worst rugburn.
He can’t help that it pulls chokes and sobs from him even when he grits his teeth.
The Cannibal releases his face and takes the strip of skin between two fingers. Jason can feel his pulse pounding in his cheek, can feel the fresh blood.
Without preamble, the Cannibal lifts the sliver to the hole in his mask and pops it in his mouth, like it’s nothing, like he didn’t just tear it off of someone. Jason gags.
“Sorry to say, squirt, but I’ve had better,” he jokes, wiping the peeler off on a handkerchief he draws out of his pocket. “I can work with you, though.”
The Cannibal returns to his cart.
“Please don’t do this,” Jason begs.
“I worked up quite an appetite bringing you all the way here,” he answers nonchalantly, while examining knives, like he’s trying to decide which one will do the best job.
There’s a very loud sound from outside the room.
Like the sound of a door being kicked in.
The Cannibal tilts his head, like one would when confused. His hand slides to a particularly large knife and he takes it up, walking towards the door.
“Stay right there, peaches,” he hisses, sounding less like his fake-polite persona and more like an angry serial killer.
He opens the door and peeks his head out. Almost immediately, there’s a gunshot. He hears the Cannibal grunt and stumble back, but not fall.
Another slamming sound, probably someone kicking the door the rest of the way open, then a second gunshot. This time, there is a solid thump as the Cannibal hits the floor. A third gunshot comes anyways, and then there’s quiet. If Jason strains his ears, he can hear the mechanical rasp of the Plague Doctor, breathing heavily.
Jason closes his eyes, tears welling up. He doesn’t want to be relieved. He doesn’t want to be relieved that they’re here, but he is.
“Are you in here?” They ask, after a moment.
“What took you so long?” Jason responds, voice shaking.
“This is a big place.” They walk over, footsteps more hurried than usual. It’s the tall one. When they see him, they stop. Jason wonders if it’s really that bad, or if all the blood is misleading. Instead of commenting, they use their free hand to undo Jason’s bindings. He can’t help but note that they’re holding Christian’s gun. He doesn’t want to think about it.
When he’s free, he rubs his wrists and sits up, slinging his legs off the side of the chair.
“Do you need me to call 911?” Funny. It’s the first time they’ve asked.
“Do I need stitches?” Jason returns.
“Probably.”
He sighs, and pushes himself to his feet, despite the tremors in his legs. “Alright.”
The Plague Doctor returns to the body of the Cannibal, crumpled in the corner, and searches him. He doesn’t have a phone of his own on him, but he does have Jason’s. So they hand the phone to him and he gets to dial the number himself.
“911 operator, what’s your emergency?”
“It’s Jason Joon-ho. I was kidnapped by the Cannibal. The Plague Doctor saved me, but I’m hurt. I’m currently in…”
“In Warehouse number fifteen,” the Plague Doctor informs him.
“Warehouse fifteen,” he repeats.
The Plague Doctor turns to go.
“That’s not your gun,” Jason finds himself saying, before he can stop himself. The Plague Doctor looks at Jason, then at their hand.
“Better in my hands than in one of theirs,” they state.
“Better in no one’s. Better if you leave it here.” Jason stays firm.
They test the weight of the gun, like they’re still unfamiliar with it.
“Hopefully we’ll reach the point where I can give it up, soon,” they say, lowering their arm. That gives Jason pause.
“How do you sleep at night, after doing shit like this?” He asks.
“With all my windows locked.” They leave.
The police and paramedics come and his brain sets on autopilot. He barely thinks. Even when his dad gathers him up in a tight hug and apologizes.
Getting home feels weirder than after the previous attacks. He goes to bed without eating. No appetite. And as he lies there, he thinks about how every other time, there’d been some sliver of a chance, some way he could’ve hoped to have gotten out. But this time, he really would’ve died without the Plague Doctor.
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