#not really shitpost

[honestlydarkprincess]

i know what this situation needs…explicit fanfiction

[marfian]

So act 3 huh

[good-to-drive]

It's kinda funny when you get a bunch of likes but no reblogs like I enjoyed your post but I'd prefer if no one else saw it

[beepboopappreciation]

Is this anything

[goosenuggets]

[prince--esque]

"Oh you like [x character] a lot!! What's their lore/your favorite thing about them/other questions to ramble about your fav? :)"

[inbabylontheywept]

I was walking out of the Walmart today, and a car passed me, and I got this incredibly vivid impression. It wasn't really in words, but if I had to put it into words, the two key points would be

a). I needed to watch that car and

b). That I needed to be careful, because the driver of the car was a massive bitch.

It kind of took me by surprise, because I really had no reason to be beefing with that car, and I also hadn't really had an impression like that since I was religious, which was in my teen years. Right? It'd been a decade since I had a little voice whisper in my ear, and I'd basically written it off as nonsense.

Anyway, I watched the car, because The Spirits or whatever were very insistent that I did. Car drove fine, went into the parking spot, inched forward, and right when it should've just stopped, the driver gunned it for some reason and it ran into the curb and cracked its bumper.

So, the driver got out, and she went to the front of the car to check that yes, she had cracked her bumper, and then she turned to look at me. The parking lot wasn't empty, but we were the only two people standing in that row, and I'd probably been staring at her for tenish seconds now.

She demanded very angrily to know why I hadn't warned her of the curb. And I could have said I didn't know you were about to gun it or is it my job to help every stranger park, or even could you have even heard me, inside your car?

And all of those would have been fine, but I was really, really busy digesting that I had somehow communed with Mormon Jesus again for the first time in fifteen years, and that the communion had mostly been there to let me watch someone park badly (?), so what I responded with was:

"Because it was foretold."

And I can't tell which would be funnier, if she went silent because there's not much to be said to that, or if she went silent because in Utah, she might actually believe me, but we parted ways without more words.

I'm still kind of digesting this myself, actually.

[zovie9638]

I did more.

they needed a second opinion.

Next

Previous

[neo--queen--serenity]

the man with a plan

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower

[bayeis]

Rewatching the extended fellowship of the ring compelled me to make this shitpost video of Legolas and Aragorn being besties

[thegaydepressedone]

They’re having fun

[bookwyrminspiration]

if you all could see all the fanart i imagine in my head and never draw it’d blow your tits clean off

[kalactic]

Idk, I saw this in a server and got inspired.

[psipaka]

(Not failing) marriage

[jomo-is-here]

god i hope nobody's done this yet

this was a very dumb idea i had at 5 am that i had to do cause my brain wouldn't let me do anything else lmao

audio comes from here