#not really how i imagined graduating when i started my freshman year?

[bluesidedown]

hnggghhggg

[blushweddinggowns]

I can't stop thinking about Eddie having a massive bitch fetish for mean girl Steve, especially after they get together.

Like before, sure, he was just as much in King Steve's thrall as every other high school girl was, even if it was a secret he had planned on taking to the grave. Every time he'd hear him make a snappy comment to one of his friends or say something particularly cutting when he talked back to the teachers was enough to make Eddie flush.

But now that they're together it's even worse than high school Eddie could imagine. Because Steve Harrington is protective as fuck and when you mix that with being gay in small-town Indiana with a boyfriend whose the town pariah for murders he didn't commit, you get a lot of opportunities for bitchy Steve.

The check-out lady at the grocery store scoffs when she sees them holding hands? Steve's jumping in, "Wow Linda, guess you're not a champion for love huh? Is that why your husband left you last year?"

An ex-jock and current gas station attendant makes a comment about how Eddie should be in prison? "Weren't you the guy who shit his pants at Carol's party freshman year? Honestly, I feel like that's a worse social crime than anything my Eddie ever did."

An old teacher comments on how he's not "surprised" that Eddie never graduated when they run into him? "I guess that just goes to show how shitty of a teacher you were doesn't it? He passed his GED test on the first try, maybe you should just think of a different career option?"

He has an arsenal of embarrassing stories and tidbits for almost every person in Hawkins, courtesy of his near-daily gossip sessions with his mom. Even when they move in together, those don't stop, they just switch to weekly three-hour phone conversations. (The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?)

And Eddie loved how willing Steve was to stand up for him, he did, really. But every time Eddie had to bear witness to Steve tearing someone down for his benefit, it felt like he was losing his mind.

He'd flush, go bright pink, get weak in the knees, everything you would expect from a love-struck sixteen-year-old girl, not a twenty-one-year-old drug dealer. Half the time he had to drag Steve to the nearest unoccupied space just to kiss him, and the other half he was too busy trying to hide a humiliating hard-on.

Eddie keeps that specific obsession to himself, but he knows he doesn't have much time left before he figures it out. There are only so many impromptu make-out sessions mixed with snide comments before Steve puts two and two together.

And Eddie just knows that he will never let him live it down, which will only add fuel to the fire if he starts doing it on purpose to tease him. Steve already had him wrapped around his finger enough as is, he didn't need another thing to make him realize just how gone for him Eddie was.

No, this one was going to stay with him, a secret that he'd actually manage to take to his grave.

Or so he thought.

[jaeyunluvbot]

sad beautiful tragic

genre/tags 𝟅𝟈 angst, lovers to exes, joshua hong x reader, fiance!joshua x reader

word count 𝟅𝟈 4.2k

part two

NOT PROOFREAD

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ���⊹

It’s your freshman year of college. You’d taken the risk and moved across the country to go to UCLA. It was your first exam season and you were sorely regretting this choice, wishing you had your family and friends to lean on.

The library is dead silent except for the occasional rustle of pages and the distant hum of the air conditioner. Your head hurts from staring at your statistics textbook for too long, the numbers blurring together like they’re mocking you. You press your palms into your forehead, trying to focus, but it’s useless.

You’re on the verge of packing up and leaving when a voice interrupts your spiral.

“Mind if I sit here?”

You glance up, your eyes landing on a boy holding a tray with two coffees. He’s tall, with a warm smile and a slightly oversized UCLA hoodie that makes him look impossibly soft.

You nod, gesturing to the seat across from you. “Go ahead.”

As he sits down, he slides one of the cups toward you. “You look like you need this more than I do.”

You blink, taken aback. “What—how did you know I needed caffeine?”

He chuckles, the sound light and easy. “You’ve been glaring at that textbook for like ten minutes.”

You laugh despite yourself, the tension in your chest loosening. “Fair point. Thanks... I guess I owe you one now.”

“Nah,” he says, leaning back in his chair. “Think of it as my good deed for the day. I’m Joshua, by the way.”

“Y/N,” you reply, taking a cautious sip of the coffee. It’s just the way you like it—strong but not bitter. “This might actually save my grade.”

“Glad to be of service,” he says with a grin.

For the next hour, you pretend to study, but really, you’re watching him out of the corner of your eye. He’s quiet but not shy, the kind of person who makes you feel at ease without even trying. By the time you pack up your things to leave, you realize you don’t feel so alone anymore.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Life after college had been better than you'd ever imagined. When you moved to California for college, you’d never expected to find more than just a degree. Joshua had been the anchor in a world that felt so foreign—your solace when homesickness hit you hard. By the time graduation rolled around, the two of you were inseparable.

Your careers had fallen into place perfectly. You landed a job in New York, but when Joshua asked if you’d stay in California with him, you didn’t hesitate. You turned down the offer, found a great position in LA, and never looked back. Being close to him felt worth every sacrifice.

The proposal had been perfect in its simplicity. One quiet evening in your shared apartment, he’d set the table with your favorite takeout, candles flickering between cartons of food. You’d laughed when he nervously fumbled with the ring box but cried when he asked, “Will you marry me?” The answer had been a resounding yes.

At first, Joshua was just as excited as you were. He’d scroll through the boards with you, offering opinions on everything from table settings to wedding bands. “Simple and elegant,” he’d said, his voice laced with warmth as he picked out a gold band that matched yours. He’d even gotten himself a matching engagement ring, claiming he wanted everyone to know he was spoken for.

But then work started picking up for him.

It was little things at first—missing a cake tasting or zoning out during a discussion about the guest list. “Whatever you think is best, babe,” he’d say with a tired smile. At first, you brushed it off. He was busy, and you didn’t want to add to his stress.

Then, he missed your appointment with the wedding planner. It was supposed to be a big one, the meeting where you’d decide on the venue. You’d picked out three options together, but sitting across from the planner with an empty chair beside you made your stomach twist uncomfortably.

You called him after the meeting. He answered on the third ring, his voice apologetic but distant. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. The meeting at work ran over, and I couldn’t get away. Did you pick something?”

You paused, the lump in your throat growing. “Yeah. I went with the vineyard. It felt right.”

“That sounds perfect,” he said quickly, relief evident in his tone. “I trust your judgment.”

You tried to smile, but it felt forced.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

By the time he missed the florist appointment a week later, it wasn’t a surprise. “Sorry, babe. Just go with whatever you like,” he said when you called him, his voice rushed. “I know you’ll make it beautiful.”

You hung up feeling a mix of frustration and sadness. It wasn’t just the missed appointments. It was the way he seemed to disengage completely, like the wedding was your project and not something you were supposed to be building together.

He still wore his ring, still kissed you goodnight and said, “Love you.” But his words felt like a habit, something automatic and unthinking. You told yourself he was just busy, that once the stress of work eased up, things would go back to the way they were.

But deep down, you couldn’t ignore the growing ache in your chest.

The phone feels heavy in your hand as you sit cross-legged on the couch, staring at the blank TV screen. Joshua isn’t home yet—another late night at the office, or so he says. You’ve been scrolling aimlessly through your wedding Pinterest board, but even the dreamy photos of lace gowns and candlelit venues can’t shake the dull ache in your chest.

When the call connects, your mom’s warm voice cuts through the silence. “Sweetheart, how’s my favorite daughter?”

You manage a smile, even though she can’t see it. “Hi, Mom. I’m... okay.”

“Just okay?” she asks, a hint of concern in her voice.

You hesitate, unsure how much to say. “It’s just... I don’t know. I think I’m feeling a little lonely.”

“Lonely? What about Joshua? You two are practically glued together.”

Your throat tightens at the mention of his name. “He’s been so busy with work lately. And I don’t know, Mom, it’s like... I can’t really talk to him about how I’m feeling. I don’t want to add to his stress.”

“Sweetheart, you can always talk to me,” she says gently.

“I know.” You pause, picking at a thread on the couch cushion. “It’s just hard sometimes. All my friends here are his friends, you know? I can’t exactly call them and say, ‘Hey, I think Joshua’s pulling away from me.’”

There’s a soft sigh on the other end of the line. “Oh, honey. I wish I were closer. Are you sure everything’s okay between you two?”

“I don’t know,” you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. “He’s... different. He’s not excited about the wedding anymore. He misses every appointment, and when I try to talk about it, he just says to do whatever I want. Like it doesn’t even matter to him.”

Your mom’s voice softens even more. “Sweetheart, planning a wedding is stressful for anyone, but it sounds like you’re taking on all the weight by yourself. That’s not fair.”

Tears sting your eyes as you blink rapidly, trying to keep them from falling. “I just miss you, Mom. I wish you were here.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” she says, her voice thick with emotion. “I’ll come see you next month, okay? We’ll spend some time together, just us girls. Sit tight until then.”

“Okay,” you murmur, even though next month feels like a lifetime away.

After you hang up, the apartment feels even quieter than before. You glance at the dining table, still set with the meal you’d made hours ago, untouched. The ache in your chest feels heavier now, pressing down until it’s hard to breathe.

You wonder, not for the first time, if this is what homesickness feels like—not just for a place, but for a version of your life that feels like it’s slipping away.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

“You really need to decide on your groomsmen soon, Josh,” you say, your voice soft but edged with the faintest hint of impatience. “I can’t finalize the bridesmaids until I know how many you’re having.”

It’s late, and he’s seated at the kitchen counter, scrolling through his phone while you try to bring up yet another wedding detail. His hair is tousled from work, and he looks tired, but you push forward. You’ve been asking him about this for weeks now.

He looks up briefly, his expression unreadable. “I know, Y/N. I’ll get to it, I promise.”

You pause, trying to keep your frustration in check. “It’s been two months, Josh. You haven’t even mentioned it to anyone yet.”

“I’ve just been busy,” he says with a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. “But I’ll figure it out soon. Don’t worry.”

“Okay,” you say, forcing a smile. “But you really need to. It’s not just about the numbers—it’s about including people who are important to you.”

He nods distractedly, his eyes already back on his phone.

That night, as you lie awake in bed, you replay the conversation over and over. It’s such a small thing—picking groomsmen. It shouldn’t feel like such a big deal, but somehow, it does.

It’s not the first time he’s brushed off something wedding-related. It’s not the first time he’s promised to “get to it.” And it’s certainly not the first time you’ve felt like you’re the only one putting real effort into planning the day that’s supposed to celebrate both of you.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

By the time another week rolls around, you’re still waiting. Another week of him saying, “I’ve been thinking about it,” without any actual decisions. Another week of you wondering if this is what the rest of your life is going to look like—waiting for Joshua to care about something as much as you do.

When you ask him again, gently but firmly, his response is the same. “I’ll get to it.”

But he doesn’t.

And as you sit at the dining table that night, staring at your wedding planner and a half-empty glass of wine, it hits you like a punch to the gut: he’s not avoiding the groomsmen because he’s busy. He’s avoiding it because it doesn’t matter to him.

Because maybe you don’t matter to him—not the way you used to.

The thought sends a chill down your spine. You push the wedding planner aside, get up, and walk to the bathroom. His ring is still on the counter, where it’s been more and more lately. You stare at it, the dull ache in your chest flaring into something sharper.

“Oh,” you whisper to yourself, the word heavy with realization.

You leave the ring where it is and head to bed, the sheets cold and uninviting. For the first time, you don’t wait up for him.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

The next morning feels heavy before it even starts. You wake up to an empty bed again, the sheets on his side rumpled but cold. You find him in the kitchen, sipping coffee and scrolling through emails on his phone, still wearing the same distracted expression you’ve come to know all too well.

“Hey,” you say softly as you pour yourself a cup. “We need to figure out the wedding party today. We’ve been putting it off too long.”

Joshua glances up, his brow furrowing. “I know. Let’s sit down after breakfast and go through it.”

You nod, hopeful for a moment. Maybe today will be different.

But before you can even finish your coffee, his phone buzzes on the counter. He picks it up, and you watch as his expression shifts from tired to tense.

“It’s my secretary,” he mutters, holding up a hand as he answers.

“Mr. Hong,” her voice is clear even from where you sit, “I’m so sorry to bother you on a Saturday, but the investors are furious about the delay. They’re demanding an emergency meeting.”

Joshua runs a hand through his hair, already moving toward the bedroom to grab his bag. “I’ll be there in thirty minutes. Thanks for letting me know.”

When he returns, he’s tucking his phone into his pocket and slipping on his shoes. “I’m so sorry, babe,” he says, leaning down to kiss the top of your head. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

You look up at him, frustration and sadness bubbling beneath the surface. “We were supposed to figure out the wedding party today, Josh.”

“I know,” he says, his voice rushed. “We’ll do it tomorrow. I promise.”

You glance at the counter as he heads for the door, and your stomach sinks. His ring is still there, sitting carelessly next to the fruit bowl.

The door closes behind him, and the apartment falls into silence.

You sit there for a long time, staring at the spot where his ring rests. Then, slowly, you slip your own ring off your finger. The weight of it has felt heavier these past few weeks, more a reminder of what’s slipping away than what’s supposed to be.

You carry it to your bedroom and place it gently in the jewelry box on your dresser, nestled between a pair of earrings your mom gave you and an old bracelet from college. It doesn’t feel right, taking it off—but it doesn’t feel wrong, either.

That night, you go to bed alone again, the silence in the apartment pressing down on you. You wonder, as you lie there staring at the ceiling, how many more nights will feel like this.

And for the first time, you don’t cry. You’re too tired to cry anymore.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

The next evening, Joshua finally comes home. It’s later than usual, but you’re still awake, sitting on the couch with your wedding planner open in front of you. You’re not really reading it, though. Instead, you’ve been staring at the untouched coffee cup you poured for him hours ago, now cold.

“Hey,” he says softly as he steps inside, setting his bag by the door. He glances at you, and his brow furrows slightly. “You’re still up?”

“Yeah,” you say, keeping your voice steady. “We need to talk.”

He hesitates for a moment, then nods. “Okay. Let me just—”

“Now, Josh,” you interrupt, standing and closing the planner with a soft thud.

He blinks at the sharpness in your tone but joins you in the living room. You sit on the edge of the couch, hands clasped tightly together, while he sinks into the armchair across from you.

For a moment, neither of you speaks. The tension in the room is palpable, stretching like a rubber band about to snap.

“Are you having an affair?” The words leave your mouth before you can second-guess them.

His eyes widen in shock, and his posture stiffens. “What? No! Y/N, how could you even think that?”

“Because you’ve been pulling away from me for months,” you say, your voice cracking despite your best efforts to keep it even. “You miss every appointment, you don’t care about the wedding, and you keep leaving your ring on the counter like it doesn’t mean anything to you.”

Joshua’s face falls, and he runs a hand through his hair. “Y/N, I swear, it’s not that. Work has just been—”

“Don’t,” you say, cutting him off. “Don’t blame this on work. Be honest with me, Joshua. Do you even want this anymore?”

His silence is deafening.

“I—” he starts, then stops, his gaze dropping to the floor. “I don’t know.”

You feel like the air has been knocked out of your lungs. “You don’t know?”

“We’re so young, Y/N,” he says finally, his voice quiet but firm. “I love you, I do, but... I don’t know if I’m ready for this. For marriage. For forever.”

You stare at him, the weight of his words sinking in like stones in your chest. “You don’t feel it anymore,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

He looks up at you, guilt written all over his face. "I don’t know what I feel anymore."

The tears sting, but you refuse to let them fall. "I stayed here for you, Josh," you say, the words breaking free before you can stop them. "I left everything—my family, my friends, my life—just to be with you. And now you’re telling me you don’t even want this anymore?"

Joshua’s expression falters. He opens his mouth, but no words come out. His silence cuts deeper than any answer could.

“Then let’s break up,” you say firmly, the words tasting bitter on your tongue.

“Y/N, I—”

“No,” you say, standing up. "If you don’t want this, then we’re done. I can’t keep fighting for both of us."

He opens his mouth again to speak, but the words don’t come. He just nods, looking down at his hands.

“I’ll move out,” he says after a long pause.

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” you reply, your voice hollow, as if you’re already a stranger to him.

That night, he sleeps on the couch, and you lie in bed alone, staring at the ceiling, feeling the space between you grow wider by the second. The silence in your apartment is suffocating, and for the first time since you moved to California, you feel truly and deeply alone.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

The next morning, Joshua leaves for work as usual. His footsteps fade down the hallway, and the door clicks shut behind him. The apartment feels cold without his presence, but the tension, the weight of everything that’s happened, keeps you from feeling anything else.

You take a deep breath, steadying yourself, and begin packing your things. You leave behind the little things—the pictures, the mementos from your time together that once meant so much. The engagement ring stays on the counter where he left it the night before, untouched. You gather your essentials—clothes, toiletries, a few items that remind you of who you were before all of this. You’re doing this for you.

As you pack, the tears come, and you can’t hold them back. The weight of it all—the loneliness, the heartbreak, the way he’d stopped caring—finally crashes over you. You grab your phone and dial your mom’s number.

“Mom,” you choke out, barely able to speak through the sobs. "I—I can't... I can't do this anymore. I... I’m so lost."

You hear her soothing voice on the other end, muffled but full of warmth and concern. "Sweetheart, what happened? Where are you?"

“I—I'm in California, but I don’t want to be here anymore. I can’t do this alone. I... I left. I left him. I don't know what to do, mom."

Her voice softens, and you hear her take a deep breath. "Don't worry. You don't have to do it alone. I’ll book your tickets, I’ll get you home, okay?"

The relief that floods through you is overwhelming, but it doesn't stop the tears. Your mom insists on getting the earliest flight available, even going the extra mile to make sure you’re on the next plane out.

You hang up with her, still a mess, but knowing that, at least for now, you won’t be alone. You finish packing quickly, making sure to leave everything behind except what’s truly necessary. You wipe your eyes, trying to pull yourself together.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

By the time you finish, it’s still a few hours before Joshua will come home. You take one last look around the apartment—the place that was once filled with shared moments, warmth, and love. It now feels like a shell of something that used to be, cold and unforgiving. You make sure your essentials are packed, then head out the door, locking it behind you.

When Joshua comes home later that evening, he expects to find you resting, taking the nap you often took after a long day at work. He quietly enters the apartment, shedding his coat and bag, and makes his way to your shared bedroom. He pauses at the doorway, frowning as he notices the emptiness of the room.

There’s no sound of you resting, no gentle hum of your music. The bed is neatly made. A sharp unease twists in his stomach.

He turns toward the dresser, his eyes catching something familiar—something that doesn’t belong there.

It’s the love letter he wrote you years ago, the one you’d always kept in your wallet. The edges are frayed now from years of being carried close to your heart. It’s placed on top of the dresser, in the spot where you used to keep it safe, along with the ring he’d given you.

He picks it up, his hands trembling slightly, and unfolds the letter. The words are still familiar, and yet, they now feel like they were written by someone else.

His eyes scan over the message, the sincerity in his writing that once made you feel loved, now leaving him cold. He puts the letter back down slowly, the full weight of the situation settling in.

Joshua’s gaze moves to the counter, where the engagement ring lies, cold and unclaimed. The reality of it all hits him like a brick wall. You’re gone.

The apartment feels like a vacuum now, empty and silent. His throat tightens, but no words come. All the things left unsaid, all the moments missed, hang heavily in the air around him.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

The plane ride feels like an eternity. You’re sitting by the window, watching the clouds drift by, but your mind is a whirlwind of thoughts, doubts, and emotions that you can’t escape. It’s hard to breathe, to focus on anything other than the overwhelming emptiness that seems to have settled inside you.

Your phone buzzes constantly with messages, and you can’t help but check them. It’s Joshua.

Joshua: Where are you? Please, answer me. We need to talk.Joshua: Y/N, I’m sorry. Please come home. I can’t lose you.Joshua: I was wrong. I didn’t mean for it to end like this. Where are you?

Each message hits you like a punch to the stomach, but you know you can’t respond in the way he wants. You’ve made your decision, and no amount of begging can change the way you feel.

You almost find it funny, how little his words mean to you now that you had left.

You tap out a response, slow and deliberate, your hands trembling slightly as you type.

Y/N: I had to go. I’m sorry, Joshua. I wish you well. It's for the best.

You hit send and put the phone down, hoping he’ll respect your silence. The flight attendants come by, offering you a drink, but you don’t take it. You just keep your gaze fixed outside, the horizon blurring as you fight to keep it together.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

By the time you land and step off the plane, you can feel the weight of everything pressing down on you. You’re exhausted, emotionally drained, but there’s one thing you’re certain of: you made the right choice.

Your mom is waiting for you at the airport, her face full of worry and warmth. As soon as she sees you, she pulls you into a tight hug, and you collapse against her, tears streaming down your face. She doesn’t ask any questions. She just holds you, murmuring soft reassurances as she strokes your hair.

“I’m here, sweetheart. You’re home now. I’m here,” she whispers, and somehow, it makes everything feel a little less heavy.

The drive back to the house is quiet, the only sound being the hum of the tires on the road. You try to collect yourself, but the emotions keep rushing back, overwhelming you in waves. You know you’ll have to explain everything, but for now, all you want is to be wrapped in the comfort of your mom’s arms.

Once you’re home, she takes you straight to the living room and sits you down on the couch, making you a cup of tea. “Tell me what happened,” she says gently, her voice soft but insistent. “I’m listening.”

You take a deep breath, recounting everything—from moving to California, to the engagement, the wedding planning, and the slow unraveling of everything. You tell her about how Joshua had been pulling away, about how you tried to wait for him, tried to understand. You tell her about the ring left on the counter, the distance, the fighting, and finally, the breakdown of your relationship.

Your voice cracks as you speak, and she pulls you closer, wrapping an arm around you. “Oh, baby,” she murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m so sorry. I know this isn’t easy. But you did the right thing. You deserve someone who’s all in, who’s going to love you fully, just like you deserve.”

You nod, wiping your eyes. You’re still so raw, but her words give you the strength to keep going.

As the night wears on, she handles everything for you. She cancels the wedding bookings—everything that had been set up for the wedding is erased. The vendors are contacted, the plans are halted, and you don’t have to worry about any of it. Your mom handles it all, taking the burden from your shoulders as you sit there, just trying to breathe.

When she finally gets off the phone with the last vendor, she sits next to you again, her hand resting on yours. “You’ll heal, sweetheart. And when you’re ready, we’ll figure it all out. But for now, just rest. You’re safe here.”

You close your eyes, resting your head on her shoulder, feeling the weight in your chest finally start to ease, if only a little. The pain is still there, but at least for tonight, you’re home.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

author's note 𝟅𝟈 lowkey wanna start a taylor swift songfic thing. i'm obsessed with this song so yk i had to write a fic based on it!

masterlist.

[heartsoji]

falling in love with your roommate, suna rintaro

roommates to lovers

a/n: i haven't read the manga so i don't rly know anything abt rin's fam situation - sorry if any info is incorrect loll also this is more of like a college au?? idk if rin went to college but here it is

a/n pt. 2: i kinda switch between using rin and suna sorry

"rintaro!"

"what?"

"aren't you tired of living in my home, still? you're 21! i'm sure all of your friends have moved out already, right? most of them probably moved out at 18, but you haven't budged an inch!" mrs. suna scolded.

"yeah, yeah, pipe down, mom. i'll move out soon, i promise."

"no! it was fine that you stayed home for your freshman year of college, and i thought that you'd start being independent for your sophomore year, but you're still completely dependent on us! you don't cook, buy groceries, clean, or do any work around here! what are you going to do when you've graduated and you don't know how to run a washing machine?"

"yes, yes, i'm sorry."

"and i was very understanding of the fact that you didn't want to move into a dorm, but aren't you tired of commuting hours away when you could just get a closer apartment?"

"mhm, mhm."

she sighed. "rintaro, you know im only saying this because i care about you. i want you to be independent and strong, you know?"

"yep. i just booked an apartment tour via online."

"and i- huh?"

yeah.

soon after he decided the apartment was in good enough condition to be living in, he rented it out and moved in.

on his moving day, he met you.

"hi! you're.. suna rintaro, right? sorry i wasn't there on your tour day. i'm your new roommate, l/n! nice to meet you." you said, a friendly smile on your features.

stoically, suna replied, "good to meet you."

at first, you and suna kinda kept to yourselves. you were polite to each other, of course, but there wasn't much talking, only coexisting.

that is, until you discovered his grocery bills.

"$18... you've been surviving on $18?!" you looked at him in shock.

"yeah. is that weird?"

"damn right it is! what are you even buying?"

"well.. i don't know how to cook anything, so i mostly order door dash. my grocery bill is from instant ramen, chuppets, eggs, and milk."

you stare at him blankly.

"you've been eating nothing but door dash, instant ramen, candy, eggs, and milk for the past 2 months?"

"yeah."

this guy.

he just stands there awkwardly at you laugh at him.

from then on, you two become closer.

you taught him basic recipes to make using groceries you taught him to buy, (imagine his shock when his bill came out to be like $60.. and you were like "bro that's normal") you taught him how to use a washing machine, ("oh, so you put the detergent in this compartment..") etc. just basic household chores, but he was so impressed.

eventually, you two stopped being friendly roommates and just became friends.

he was a good listener. you'd rant to him about your problems, no matter how insignificant, and he'd listen to you carefully, and you never felt like your problems were stupid whenever you talked to him.

you two started hanging out a lot. you'd study together at cafes, go to amusement parks on weekends, and just chill at home together.

and as much as you hated to admit it, you had started developing feelings for your roomie.

i mean, how could you not? he was tall, handsome, kind, funny, cheeky, and it certainly helped that you got to see him all tired in the mornings.

you didn't really know if he felt the same way, but if he did, he was a real bitch, because at some point, your relationship became kind of flirty, and he'd give you butterflies on a daily basis.

you two would watch scary movies and he'd let you cling to him, giving your terrified features a teasey smile every now and then.

he'd walk around the apartment with his toned abs out, and his sweats dangerously low on his hips.

when you guys went on walks, he'd give you his hoodie if it got cold.

whenever you'd go on long rants, he'd just stare at your face with love in his eyes. "and then i-what is it, rin?" "nothing, pretty."

like sir you can't just do that. you're too handsome to do that without risk of heart explosion.

then, one day, unexpectedly, he popped the question.

you two were watching a cheesy romcom for the 5th time, sharing a pot of instant ramen, and at the same moment that the male lead said to the female lead, "i like you. a lot. i have for a while now," rin did too.

it wasn't grand.

it wasn't loud.

it wasn't annoying.

you weren't even sure if he meant it.

but when you saw him looking at you, nervous, awaiting a response, you knew he did.

so, at the same time the female lead said, "me too," you did too.

then, with the cheesy romantic music playing in the back, you guys gave each other cheesy smiles, and he planted a cheesy peck on your cheek.

it was subtle.

it was sweet.

it was cheesy.

it was familiar.

it was uncharacteristically romantic and sentimental.

it was just like how your future relationship with your roomie and best friend, suna rintaro, was going to be.

[dreeki]

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ my best friend's brother. [part 1]

pairing: bsf's brother!jake x f!reader

warnings: loser jake(not so loser, i don't know how to write jake as a loser... sorry), sunghoon is jake's brother and a year older than him, jake and y/n are the same age

syn: your best friend is busy with uni while you start your senior year of high school. what happens when your unexpected study partner turns out to be his brother?

note: not proofread! hope you like it 🙌 leave your thoughts in the comments pls!!

☆ you and sunghoon became friends during your freshman year of high school, despite being a year younger than him. he was the one that welcomed you to the unfamiliar place and the two of you bonded quite fast. ever since then, he would always hang around your house and you spent almost all of your time with him, whether you were celebrating an achievement or trying to comfort each other. neither of you liked to talk about your families, feeling like the topic would sadden the mood, thus why the only time family had been brought up was when sunghoon mentioned that he has a younger brother that is currently living in a different city, due to their parents being split up, each taking one of the brothers to live with them. he rapidly showed you a picture of his brother, jake, but you could barely catch a glimpse of his face before the photo was snatched out of your line of vision.

fast forward to the summer before senior year, you and sunghoon were still close friends, not even noticing that the boy had graduated high school already, since his university was in the same city. you would still regularly hang out and chat daily until your bodies would remind you it's time to rest. many people wondered how the two of you were so close, yet weren't dating; neither of you have ever thought about it. your relationship with each other just wasn't that way. you were simply good friends and you had always been grateful for that.

two weeks before the start of your final year of high school, sunghoon told you that his younger brother is gonna move back in with him. "why now though?" you asked a bit confused. "jake said he found a really good university here and thought i'd be easier for him to move now, rather than next year" "oh.. yea, sure, it makes sense" and that was the last conversation on the topic.

assignments had started to get sunghoon stressed once the first year of university started. he was extra busy now, making it harder for you to communicate the same way you did during summer break. of course you weren't going to blame him; you could imagine how hard uni was and how it must be so exhausting for him, especially as a first year student. you were just a bit bummed that you hadn't had the chance to meet his brother yet. sunghoon mentioned that he wanted you to meet jake at a fancy dinner, so now you had to wait until your best friend was finally free from the hell that university is.

senior year wasn't as bad as you expected. yes, the teachers wanted more from every one of you, but it was honestly less stressful than what you thought it was gonna be. since sunghoon was currently drowning in books, you decided that spending more time at the library, studying, will help you a lot too; getting better grades and filling the hole left by sunghoon's abscence. it was also nice that you got to see the handsome face of an unknown boy every time you studied there.

the third week after school started, you could almost swear that your physics teacher was trying to kill you with the amount of homework she gave you weekly. that particular wednesday though, it was worse. you spent a few hours at the library trying to finish your work but it was just way too complicated for you to finish it by yourself.

that's when you noticed the handsome boy was also doing his physics homework; the only difference was that he seemed to know what he was doing... without even wanting to, you had been staring at that boy for a good 3 minutes now, thinking how god was so unfair. "why not me?!" you squealed before you could stop yourself. looking around to see if you had disturbed anyone you notice the boy looked up at you with puppy eyes, confused as to why you seemed so distressed.

he tried to get back to his assignment but your sighs and cries were a bit too distracting. that's when you were suddenly approached by the handsome stranger. "hi.." he awkwardly said. "i couldn't help but notice that you seemed to be struggling with your paper, no?"

damn it. now pretty boy knows you're not as good as you try to make yourself look. "haha.. yea.. physics just isn't my best suit, you know." "totally!" he looked so dreamy with his long brown hair and cute black glasses sitting perfectly on his gorgeous gorgeous nose; you felt as if you were admiring a sculpture. "did you hear what i asked?" huh?? what did pretty boy say? "haha" he chuckled softly with a slight smirk on his face. "pretty boy asked you if you needed help with your homework" the mortified look on your face looked like it was taken straight out of a horror movie. "oh no. i'm so sorry. i did not just say that out loud, did i?" "i'm afraid you did, but don't worry, i think.. you're pretty too" and that's when your brain started short circuiting.

"i'm jake by the way!" jake? like sunghoon's.. nahh. "i'm y/n!" "oh! pretty name for a pretty face" you looked baffled "wha-" "sooo.. did you say you needed help with that?" "yea.. yea.. that would be really great actually!" and that's how you got yourself a studying partner.

if only you knew what was waiting for you in the future...

a/n: thank you so much for reading!! 🫶 sorry for not making this only one part but it's actually taking me longer than i expected to write this 😭

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 22

PREVIOUS

Y’know how sometimes you have something that you need to do or something that you know is going to happen but you just keep…putting it off? Like you know at some point it is going to happen but you put it off over and over and over and over again? You’re getting increasingly anxious every time you put it off because you know it has to get done but you also know that the longer you wait the worse it is going to get. Finally, FINALLY, the anxiety is just a little too much and you end up having to deal with it.

You finally deal with it and the whole ordeal takes maybe five minutes tops and it was in no way shape or form worth the level of anxiety that you put yourself through. Like you worried about this for a good and long while and it wasn’t even that bad?

That is currently how FF feels about being stabbed by Andrew Minyard.

This is what he was so worried about that he had lost sleep, had nightmares, had lost weight, and had exacerbated his stress ulcers over.

Getting stabbed wasn’t anywhere near as bad as he had thought it was going to be. Maybe it was the fact that it was just a single stab wound instead of the Psycho levels that he had been imagining (Wow, showers were going to be so much less stressful now that he didn’t have to confirm Andrew Minyard’s location before triple checking the lock). Maybe it was the fact that he is PUMPED full of adrenaline from his fights against Jackson and Romero but the stab wound didn’t even really hurt at the moment.

This isn’t even the worse thing that had happened to him this year!

That honor still goes to the joint winners of when his Step Family and mother found out that he had a full-ride to Palmetto and when he had tripped up the same step on the stairs at school three times in a row as people watched and laughed.

(Maybe also the solitary congratulations from his Grandma in regards to his graduation but FF doesn’t let himself think about that, won’t think about it.)

He wouldn’t necessarily call being in a state of ‘stabbed’ a pleasant time but Andrew was being so NICE about it.

“Stop trying to sit up you fucking idiot!” Andrew shouts at him.

Well….Andrew’s version of nice.

(This is the same version of nice that he had misunderstood for months at this point. Maybe FF is just enough in shock from the stab wound in his stomach that he’s starting to grasp the basics in the difficult language of Andrew Minyard’s niceness.)

Andrew had gotten off the phone with 911 and then started pulling off his own jacket before draping it over FF’s upper body, wedging his phone between his shoulder and his ear, and then Andrew started to apply pressure to his stomach wound.

Ow.

That is not a great feeling. This stabbing may eke out past the great triple trip of March 2010.

“No, take back your jacket. You’ll get cold if you don’t have it on.” FF argues because his own jacket is barely doing the job. Maybe it’s the cold pavement of the alley, maybe it’s the blood loss, or maybe it’s the cooling sweat he’d worked up but he is shivering pretty badly.

A thought occurs to him as he feels the weird wet stickiness of his own blood sticking to Nicky’s shirt. “Can you help me get my jacket off?” He asks looking pleadingly at Andrew, “It’s my dad’s. I don’t wanna mess it up with my blood.” He clarifies when Andrew looks at him like he’s a lunatic.

Except his second call must connect right then because Andrew’s answer is non-sensical to what FF had asked, “Neil, let Roland know the police and ambulances are en route.” There’s a brief pause and the pressure against his stomach increases as a muscle in Andrew’s jaw jumps. “Smith got stabbed.” He says and he looks angry, angrier than FF had ever seen Andrew when he’s talking to Captain Neil. There is another pause, more than likely Neil saying something or asking a question, “No, it wasn’t them.” Andrew grits out and the pressure on FF’s stomach hurts, “Just get out here, I need help with smith and making sure these two assholes don’t go anywhere before the police come and grab them.” He says before he pulls one hand away from Smith’s stomach (wow he really is bleeding isn’t he?) to hang up the phone.

Andrew’s gaze turns back to him fully, “You’re not moving an inch Smith, your jacket can be cleaned.” He hisses. “Now stay still and don’t fall asleep.” He orders.

Andrew seems stressed so FF complies. He can’t help but notice how Andrew’s hands seem to be shaking as the press down on his stomach. He kind of wishes he had a pillow or something for his head because he’s starting to feel a little dizzy. Andrew’s jacket would be safer from his blood if it was a pillow instead of a blanket. Still, FF would sooner die than spit on any of Andrew’s current efforts to make him more comfortable.

He looks at the knife sticking out of his stomach. Well, he might die regardless of whether or not he spits on Andrew’s efforts.

He needs to take his mind off this.

“Should we take it out and pretend the Dundee knife stabbed me instead??” FF asks letting his mind go to the first thought in his head so that he could be distracted from his own mortality. “I think it’s still under the dumpster over there.” He moves to point one of his hands towards where the knife had remained throughout this entire ordeal.

Andrew’s knee pinned his arm before he could move it, “Stop moving Smith.” Andrew reminded him before moving his knee. “We have to leave the knife in. You’ll bleed to death otherwise.” Andrew reminds.

“I guess that’s true, so do we just say that Romero got a handle on your knife and stabbed me?” He asks fighting his own shivers since he’s a little worried that any shaking on his part would just make the stab wound worse.

“I stabbed you Smith.” Andrew says looking at him with a furrowed brow.

“Yeah, I know,” FF agrees, “but we’re not going to say THAT to the cops.” He says and shock really is one HELL of a drug because he thinks he might have actually given Andrew Minyard an incredulous look with his atrophied face muscles. It’s either Shock or the knowledge that even if he irritates Andrew, what’s Andrew going to do about it?

STAB HIM?

“You’re going to lie to the cops?” Andrew asks, “I STABBED you Smith.” Andrew repeats.

“Yeah, I know!” FF repeats back, “You stabbed me on ACCIDENT.” FF makes sure to use the same intonation that Andrew had used to emphasize the word Stabbed. “Jackson wanted to stab me on PURPOSE. You saw that knife Andrew.” He tries to gesture towards the knife again but again Andrew’s knee pinned his hand.

He could use his other one but the reminder to stay still is enough.

“I still stabbed you.” Andrew says removing his knee again when it’s clear that FF wasn’t going to try and gesture again.

“Well, if I was going to get stabbed by anyone, I guess I’m glad my first time was with you.” Andrew let’s out a bark of a laugh that sounds more like it was punched out of him than anything, “Honestly, I don’t think Jackson would have given me his jacket afterwards or try and help me keep my blood in my body.” He says and it feels like a victory (not a both hands in the air victory cry level victory but it was close) when Andrew’s face settled into one of faint amusement.

“Probably not.” Andrew agreed, “He doesn’t seem big on Aftercare.” He says.

FF doesn’t know what that means but nods like he does, “So, Romero got a hold of your knife during our tussle and he’s the one who stabbed me. Okay? That’s the story I’m going to stick with no matter who asks me.” He looks Andrew in the eye.

“Alright Smith,” one of Andrew’s hands leaves his stomach and clasps around his shoulder and FF can’t help but notice how neither of Andrew’s hands are shaking anymore. “We can lie to the police.” He squeezes FF’s shoulder.

“Nice.” He says and lets his head fall back onto the concrete. He hears a siren in the distance and hopes it’s coming for him.

They sit in silence for maybe 30 seconds before the door slams open and only Andrew’s hands on his stomach and shoulder keep him from shooting straight up in a panic. Captain Neil seemed to take in the scene at lightning speed but it was Andrew who spoke first, “You left Aaron and Nicky with Roland?” He asks.

“Yeah I did,” Captain Neil confirms and FF can see the moment that his eyes land on the knife handle jutting out of FF’s stomach, “Andrew, what are we going to tell the police?” Captain Neil asks and FF could already see Neil crafting a lie to cover Andrew. That’s one of the things that FF likes about Captain Neil and Andrew’s relationship. He thinks it’s nice that both of them have someone who no matter the circumstances would be there with a shovel to help bury a body. He even thought it was nice when he thought it’d be his body!

“The second guy stabbed me.” The lie comes out smoothly which is good because he is planning on committing to it and Captain Neil blinks and looks at him, “He got hold of Andrew’s knife during the tussle.” He adds.

Captain Neil looks to Andrew, “You said it wasn’t-“

“I guess Smith can lie to a liar.” Andrew interrupts.

Captain Neil’s eyes widen before a wicked grin spread across his face that made FF just a little uncomfortable but only because Andrew’s grip on his shoulder suddenly tightened and his nostrils flared the way they did before the two usually started speaking in Russian.

He can handle being stabbed, he cannot handle being in shock and pretending that he doesn’t know what the two of them are saying to one another.

“Can you tell Nicky I’m sorry I got blood on his clothes?” He asks and both Captain Neil and Andrew’s gaze snap away from eye-fucking each other. He looks down and the clothes are black and they haven’t moved the knife so the wound is plugged still but yeah there’s definitely blood seeping into the shirt, not to mention the hole. “Could you tell him I’m sorry about that?” He asks.

“You are going to tell him yourself Smith.” Andrew hisses, “You are going to be fine. Do you understand me?” He asks before turning to Neil, “Can you bunch your jacket under his legs, it’s better to keep them higher than his head and heart?” He asks.

Aw.

Andrew is just so nice.

He can’t BELIEVE he thought Andrew wanted to hunt him for sport.

He’d apologize for thinking that but he thinks it’d be better to just let that particular misunderstanding go unmentioned.

Captain Neil bunches his jacket up and puts it under FF’s legs before he goes over to check on Romero and Jackson. In the corner of his eye he sees Captain Neil pause at the sight of Romero before moving over to Jackson.

“Why is he in these?!” Neil asks baffled.

“It’s a weird sex alley Captain Neil! I don’t know WHAT to tell you!” Yeah he’s definitely going into shock. The sirens are getting closer though so he’ll probably be okay.

***

The cops all have a bit of a laugh about Jackson’s cuffs until Neil tells them exactly who they are taking into custody. Neil could admit that he’s a little irritated with Andrew that at no point did the man clarify that the people who FF and Andrew were dealing with were Romero and Jackson.

Those are his father’s goons.

“They were here for me.” Neil says to the police officer and Andrew’s hand tightens in his, “They tried to take Smith because he’s my friend.”

They had decided on their story before the cops came. FF had no idea who any of these people were and was just defending himself. He’d gone out to catch his breath in the alley when Jackson had shown up. Neil had asked how in the world FF had handled Jackson on his own but FF must have been getting kind of loopy from blood loss because all he said was, “He told me to sing so I did.”

Neil can find out the full story later.

The important part is.

“Jackson went after Smith but Smith won the fight.” Neil says looking at where the cops are trying to decide how to get the fuzzy pink handcuffs off of Jackson to get him in the far more secure police issued handcuffs.

“Your friend said that you and he took out Romero together. That Romero is the one who stabbed him with your knife.” He says.

“Yes.” Andrew answers simply and Neil squeezes his hand as a reminder, “I went out to grab a smoke and Romero followed after me. Romero got hold of one of my knives in the struggle and stabbed Smith.” Andrew says with his usual deadpan affect.

“Yeah that’s what your friend Smith was saying too.” The officer says. “Well, I’m sure the FBI will want to talk to you all further but for now it’s a pretty clear cut case of self defense and no one but your friend has any serious injuries.” The officer pats Neil on the shoulder and Neil manages not to shirk away from the touch. The officer retracts his hand, “You guys are free to go tonight.” He says and turns back towards the car where a dazed Romero is in the back seat.

“Where did they take Smith?” Andrew asks since they’d been shepherded away from Smith the moment the ambulance had come. They hadn’t been able to ask which hospital Smith was going to be taken to so they could go and get updates.

“Lexington.” The cop answers, “Go on and see your friend. He seemed pretty loopy he kept talking about some beauty contest thing when he was getting loaded into the ambulance. I’m sure he’ll be a riot on painkillers.” The cop goes for a joke but it twists something in Neil’s stomach to think of FF so out of it that he’s talking nonsensically.

He feels Andrew’s hand stiffen in his and knows he’s not alone.

“Thanks.” Neil says before they head towards the front of the club. The club had been emptied out when the cops had come so Roland was babysitting Aaron and Nicky for them while they talked to the cops and FF was loaded out to the hospital.

In a way it’s almost a blessing that Nicky and Aaron are both so blasted that they aren’t comprehending any of what’s going on. They’ll have to drop them off back at the house before they go to the hospital. They’ll beat Wymack there easily even after the interrogation and drop off.

FF had asked them to call Wymack to let him know what was going on “I gave him the rights to make health care decisions for me if I’m incapacitated.” FF had said so Neil texts Wymack the hospital and the address after Andrew rattles it off for him.

“I don’t like that you hid it from me.” Neil says in the car.

“They wanted to kill you.” Andrew won’t apologize.

They still hold hands on the drive back to the Columbia house.

Andrew takes care of getting Aaron into bed while Neil helps Nicky.

Nicky who looks at Neil with a loopy smile and Neil hurts knowing that tomorrow when Nicky finds out about tonight and how he was too blasted to do anything to help FF.

Andrew and Neil reconvene in the Maserati and make their way to the hospital before either of them realize the issue.

“What is the name of the patient you’re looking for an update on?” The receptionist asks.

Both Andrew and Neil freeze.

Fuck.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

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The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

[bristishbaddiesxox]

Still The One H.S.

.　 ˚ 　. 　 ✧ 　 ˚ 　. 　 ✧ 　 ˚ 　 .　 ✧ 　. 　 ˚ 　. ˚ 　. 　 ✧ 　 ˚ 　. 　 ˚ 　

One shot!

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · . Summary : Mary goes out one night with her girlfriends to their local college bar when she runs into her now ex-boyfriend, Harry Styles. Alone on the balcony they talk about what went wrong and confess their true feelings for one another

-> 5.3k words

Warnings : this story is entirely fictional and contains Adult language, sexual scenes (smut), make up sex, intense arguments, drinking, smoking, etc... please read at your own risk

author's note: This one is long asf. I really hope you guys enjoy this ! this is my first one shot posted on here. This also is the first time I've published smut so... beware it might be super bad.

Tonight was the night everyone went out to the bars.Mary spent all her time doing her hair and makeup. Being a senior in college came with many challenges and the nights out with her girlfriends helped carried her through the harsh part of college. Being in pre-med came with many trials of difficult class curriculums. She was constantly stressing herself out, limiting nights out and skipping meals. She only just prayed that it'll all be worth it at the end. And now that graduation was around the corner, she finally could celebrate.

Ella had decided that they would go to a bar tonight. It'd be one of the last times that they would all be able to go to their college bar together before graduating. They were to all finally start on of the most important part of their lives and that was starting their careers that they spent the last four years working towards.

" I'm going to miss this so much," Ella sighed out while gluing on her lashes.

" I know, partying and being stupid drunk bitches," Mary replies back.

Ella and Mary had so many late night memories together. Ella was Mary's friend since freshman year. She was Mary's roommate since first semester of freshman year. They had been by each other's side all of the four years of college. Mary couldn't imagine what her four years would have been without Ella-- her twin-- her bestfriend.

" You know, what if he's there tonight?"

Mary looks up at Ella and shoots her a confused look, " What if who's there tonight?"

" You know, Harry. What if Harry is there tonight?" Ella shrugs beginning to put lipstick on.

Mary rolls her eyes, " Then he's there. It won't change anything."

Harry was Mary's now ex boyfriend. They had broken up over the summer and hadn't seen or spoken to each other since then. Occasionally, She'd see him on campus and avoid him. But overall, Mary went to the extent to keep Harry out of sight and out of mind. She couldn't sit hung up about their now past relationship.

" Would you ever get back together with him if time was right and you guys were on good terms?" Ella asks while taking a sip of her seltzer.

Mary shook her head, " I don't think so. I've gotten over it and he's for sure over it. I've been seen him with this new girl anyways. We're not going back."

Ella just slowly nodded. Mary could tell Ella didn't believe her but decided on ignoring her anyways.

When Ella and Mary had arrived to the bar, they met up with a couple of their other girlfriends who also had brought their boyfriends. They waited outside the line of the bar squealing and shouting to one another about how great the night was going to be. Mary was wearing a black tube top and denim shorts. She let her dark brown hair fall over her shoulders and layered gold jewelry around her neck. As they waited to enter the bar, all Mary could think about was what if Harry was here? Harry and her had always went to the bar together. She would remember how they would end the night at his place having the most drunken yet steamiest sex. Now he's probably doing everything they did with someone new.

The bouncer lets them in and immediately they make their way to the bar. First round was on Maddie's Boyfriend who had bought shots for the whole group.

" For my future doctor and wife, Maddie!" He cheers.

Everyone lifts their shot glass up and cheers on Maddie for getting in to med school.

Mary waves down a bartender and asks for another round of shots for her group. She also demanded for a Vodka Redbull . Ella then calls for them to hit the dance floor and dance to the music being played by the DJ. Mary hadn't had this much fun in so long. She was having time to enjoy herself and celebrate finally finishing her degree. Her arm was wrapped around her best friend Ella as they danced in the crowd. The whole night they shared laughs and took videos and pictures of each other being plastered drunk. Together they ran laps around the bar talking to different guys who had offered to buy them a shot . Mary came to realize how fun it was to be single. She could do whatever she wanted without having to worry or think about anyone else. All she had was herself to enjoy the night away.

Mary and Ella had been playing with each other and these two guys that they found at the bar. Mary could barely keep her balance but she still wanted to carry through the night. Her body was numb and her head hung dizzy. As she stumbled back she felt a cold drink splash onto her back and a glass hit the ground. Her eyes widen to her surprise and she quickly whipped around.

" Oh my god, I'm so sorry!!" She cried out immediately grabbing napkins from the counter. She was too busy trying to clean up this man black shirt that she didn't even realize who it was.

" I'll buy you a new shirt, I'm sorry again," she apologizes.

His hand then takes hers. It was warm and soft.

" Don't worry about it Mary," a familiar english voice spoke.

That's when her eyes widened and her eyes met his—his green emerald eyes. It felt almost like a reel of everything in the past rushing into her as she stood there frozen. It was him. It was Harry. She felt the whole room fall silent and herself grow small while staring up at him. He had nothing but a soft smile while looking down at her. She blinks back to reality and takes a step back. He had still been holding her hand in his while she pulled it back to herself.

" I-um. I gotta go," was all she said while turning around and pushing past people.

She found her way back to Ella who was laughing along with the two guys they were hanging out with. Ella noticed how frantic and anxious Mary had became as Mary began digging in her purse. She reassured the guys before walking to her friend who clearly wasn't okay.

" Mary are you okay?" She says putting an arm on Mary's shoulder.

Mary shook her head 'yes'.

" I just saw Harry," she blurts.

Ella's eyes widen and her mouth drops. She almost lets out this historical laugh. It was for sure that Harry would be at this bar. Harry had gone here on multiple occasions even when Him and Mary were together. But she still felt for her friend who was still suffering a broken-heart from their relationship. She recalled the nights where Mary wouldn't come out her room and how quiet and depressed she was over their breakup. It was so many stages of heartbreak she wished to never see her friend suffer in again.

" Mary, we can leave if you want," Ella softly said as she was rubbing circles around Mary's back.

" No, I'm coming back. I just need air. And then I'm coming back and we're going to go back and dance," Mary slurred her words while picking up her purse.

"Okay, I'll come with you," Ella said going to reach for her bag. But Mary stops her.

" No! Just stay here. I need a minute alone and I'll be right back," Mary says shouting through the music and crowd.

Ella nods hesitantly. She wasn't sure if she can trust Mary being alone. Especially after just watching her down a Martini.

" I'll be back, I promise." She says pulling Ella into a hug.

Mary pushes her way through the crowd and climbs up a couple steps to head the balconies on the second floor. Once opening the door she is met with the breeze that brushed upon her. She finally could breathe. She walks over to the ledge to look over the city. Boston was so beautiful at night. She begins to pull out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. But to her disappointment, she must have forgot her lighter back at her place.

" Fuck," she hisses to herself.

She goes digging in her purse once again. She didn't want to believe she left the lighter because she really just wanted to smoke. The night had gotten even more chaotic than she thought it would have.

" Thought you don't smoke," She hears the familiar voice speak again.

She stops digging in her purse. While rolling her eyes to herself she turns to face him once again. He was standing there, smoking a cigarette himself.

" I don't," she snaps.

He laughs as he makes his way over to her. She takes a step away to further the distance between them.

" Mary," He calls.

She doesn't look at him. Instead, she kept her gaze starting out into the city. Looking at him pained her. She remembered everything like it was yesterday. The day she watched his back turn and the door shut behind him. And he never came back.

" I'll light you one. It's just a small favor don't take it personally," he says handing her his lighter.

She looks down at his hand to see it was her old lighter. It had the initials H.S. On it. She wrote it on there for him. She sighs out and takes the lighter out of his hands. She held the cigarette in between her lips and begins to light it. And there she took the longest drag she could out of it.

She was in a much better mood now that she can relax and calm her nerves. Normally, she didn't smoke on a daily basis. She had quit after high school. She felt that she needed to better herself. But time after time she would smoke one just to settle her nerves. It would usually be after drinking all night which wasn't a regular occurrence.

" So, congratulations. I just want to say I'm proud of you," he says leaning over the rail looking over at her.

She kept her arms crossed and just shrugged instead of answering to his comment. Giving in would make her feel vulnerable— like she'd had given up on all the platforms she built for herself after she had healed from their past.

Harry understood it. He knew she was angry. He also knew how stubborn Mary was.

" Mary," he calls again.

She grumbled out loud turning over to him taking another drag while seeing the sight of her ex boyfriend.

" Stop, okay? Just finish your cigarette and carry on with the night," she barks.

He still approached her. Something inside his chest was burning and he was dying to let out whatever tension he had within himself. If he didn't tell her now he knew he would regret it like he did that night they broke up. He knew he messed up. He was the one to walk away and left her that night when he should have stayed and tried to work things out. He was always the one to a put up a fight and yet that night he felt short. And because of that, he dealt with days and months of not seeing her, touching her. He missed her more than anything and seeing her at the bar, hearing her say his name, he felt everything he had for her wash over him.

" Mary I miss you," he blurts.

She just shook her head staring ahead of of herself. She was still mad, he knew that. But now more than ever he wanted to fix things.

He walks over to her and grabs her shoulders whipping her around to face him. Her eyes widen and she threw her hands up and pushed him back from her. He hasn't seen her this physical.

" Don't fucking touch me Harry. You had your chance, now it's over. We're ov--"

" Don't--" he interrupts.

" Don't say that, please," his voice cracks.

" Then what do you want Harry? You left me. You were the one to call things off and now you're saying you miss me?" She scoffs before finishing off her cigarette. She tosses it to the ground and crushes it with her shoe.

" I know. I know I fucked up. I was drunk. I was stupid. I woke up the next day and realized how much I fucked up."

She doesn't say anything back. She was hugging herself as she bit her lip. And then she turned to face him as her eyes fell.

" Then why didn't come back?" was all she let out while staring at him waiting for an answer.

Harry knew he let his pride get the best of him. He knew in the end, he wanted to be with Mary more than anything yet he didn't go back because he was scared. He was scared she wouldn't take him back. And now it's been 6 months and he is far now too late to beg.

" I just thought you never wanted to see me again... like how you shouted it at me that night," he quietly answered.

They stood in silence letting the breeze brush past them. Mary just shook her head to herself, remembering the night it all ended: .　 ˚ 　. 　 ✧ 　 ˚ 　. 　 ✧ 　 ˚ 　 .　 ✧ 　. 　 ˚ 　.　 ˚ 　. 　 ✧ 　 ˚ 　. 　

Harry had came in the apartment drunk after Mary had texted him that she was tired of his bullshit. Harry was apart of a frat and made little to no time for her. It was exam week and she and him had barely spoken because she would spend all her time studying while he spent nights out partying. She wanted to support Harry but there were too many times he left her in the dark or did things that made her question her trust with him. It was until she opened her snapchat. She saw on one of his friends videos that a girl had approached Harry and her arm was around him. It made her even more furious because it was Katie Woods. Not only was she apart of the sister frat but she was the bombshell of the school. Mary only felt inferior to her whenever she saw her talk to Harry. Katie always found a way to talk to Harry and push Mary out.

" Mary, it was nothing okay? She was just there at the party and we only talked for 30 seconds it wasn't anything serious," He slurs his words.

Mary had her arms folded as she stared at Harry in disbelief. She couldn't believe the first thing he didn't do was apologize.

" You know what, I'm done. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you invalidating me about how she's all over you! And when there is a video of her arms wrapped around you, and you still want to deny it all!"

" Mary, I don't know how else to tell you that it's nothing. You're my girlfriend, you're the one I come home to every night, you're the one I want to be with," He sighs out reach his hands out to pull Mary close to him.

Instead, she just pushed his hands back and stood back. Her eyes were heavy with dark circles from hours of studying and staring at her laptop. Her hair was clipped up yet small strands hung loose. She was still in her pajamas from the previous night.

She turned and walked away with disappointment in her sigh. Where were they in their relationship? They were constantly arguing, he was falling short not coming to see her when she really wanted to. And when she went to go out and eat he was always late. What happened to them? She wanted to know where did everything start to fall apart?

" You don't believe me," he scoffs turning to face the other way threw his hands up to cup the back of his head.

" We've been together for nearly 3 years now, what makes you not trust me now?" He snaps.

Mary knew Harry was drunk but never has she ever seen him angry while drunk. Harry didn't often get angry around her. He always was composed and when they did argue he never rose his voice. But she can sense with this argument he was a lot more angrier then he ever had been.

" You never answer my calls," she says quietly. She felt like passing out.

" I'm not constantly sitting around. I don't have my phone and my laptop on me like you do at all times."

And this time, Mary too was losing patience. It takes one simple thing to ruin it all and she let Harry do multiple.

" You know what Harry, fuck you. Go back to your frat and this time you can go back without a girlfriend!" She barks.

That's when Harry's eyes widen at her response. He was very much even more provoked than he initially was. And Mary wanted to keep pushing him. She was tired of being the one who felt hurt, neglected, and always having to forgive Harry for his mistakes.

" I'm sick of this. You never even text to check on me. You give me the most simple dry responses. I'm so fucking stressed and tired and my boyfriend, someone I want to just simply acknowledge me can't because he doesn't want to take a simple 5 minute break to text his long-term girlfriend." She hissed.

" You know what, I'm sick of you always blaming me. It's always my fault when things don't go your fucking way Mary. It's not like I do this all the damn time. Most days, I'm with you! I do everything with you and I. always. choose. you." He shouted back.

Her hands were clenching her hair as if she were about to go insane. She was just going to go in circles with Harry because he was drunk and was more angry than he could think at the moment.

" You know what. Get out." She says pointing at the door.

" What?" He says tilting his head looking at her in disbelief.

" Get. out. I don't want to see you tonight." She grits through her teeth at him.

" No, I'm not fucking leaving," He protests.

" Harry I can't do this right now! you're fucking drunk, you reek of alcohol!"

" Holy shit Mary, fine you don't want to see me then that's fine," he says throwing his hands up in defeat and walking out the door.

As she hears his foot steps fade she hears a buzz. It was his phone that was on her dresser. She walks over to pick it up so that she can give him his phone. When the screen lit up it showed her the contact. It read Katie. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped. She felt her eyes water and tears fall down her cheeks. Never in a million years did she suspect that Harry would cheat on her. But the messages she read proved her otherwise.

Katie: Where did you go?

Katie: She doesn't have to know.

Harry walks back into the room mid sentence about to grab his phone until he saw Mary's face.

" Babe, wh- what happened?" he says approaching her.

She throws his phone at him and begins shoving him out of her room.

" Get the fuck out. I can't believe you right now!" she cries out through her tears.

" Mary! Please calm down what the fuck happened?" He says picking up his phone as he held his hand out for her to stop.

" She's fucking text you? Asking where you are? What is it that I don't have to know Harry? "

Harry looks down dumbfounded by the messages. He knew what the text were for but Mary had already taken them personally and was far more angry than she already was.

" Mary, it's not what you think," he says trying to calm her down but she wouldn't budge.

" No, don't fucking touch me. Get the fuck out Harry."

She was now repeatedly pushing him to the door.

" Mary-"

" Get out Harry! I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear from you or see you ever again," she sobbed.

" You know what. fine! You won't see me again. We're done." he shouted at her before simply turning and walked out the door.

Mary just slumped to the ground and sobbed. Harry was gone. Harry left. She didn't know what to do. she didn't know what to feel. Her body was riddled with so many emotions that all she could do was cry out her pain.

 After that night, Harry didn't call nor text her. She starred at her phone endlessly. She wanted to say something but in reality she shouldn't be pushing for Harry to reach out to her. Maybe he really meant what he said to her that night. And for days after this she just had to push through and heal from all of that night... .　 ˚ 　. 　 ✧ 　 ˚ 　. 　 ✧ 　 ˚ 　 .　 ✧ 　. 　 ˚ 　.　 ˚ 　. 　 ✧ 　 ˚ 　. 　 ✧ 　 ˚ 　 .　 ✧ 　. 

 Mary closed her eye to the thought of that night. That night was one of the biggest fights they had ever had. She remembered the days that came after it. She had a hard time sleeping and eating. She struggled to get through her classes. She hated being anywhere but her bedroom where she could hide away and sob her feelings out.

Harry recalled the days after the fight too. Each time he walked passed her building trying to build to courage to walk up and say he was sorry. But he couldn't. He didn't believe he could after what he did to her. He knew he treated her so unfairly. And that was apart of what held him back -- his guilt.

" I'm sorry," he suddenly blurts.

" I'm sorry for being so fucking stupid. You were going through a lot and I just downplayed it. I took everything for granted when I shouldn't have. I-I blew it. I ruined it all because I was being selfish," he says as he was now closer to her than he initially was.

She didn't back away, she just looked up at him.

" It's been six months and you're still the one," he continued.

" You're the one--"

He was suddenly cut off by Marys hands pulling his face down to kiss him. His hands naturally go to cup her cheeks as he deepened their kiss. It was as if it's been years and he had been craving to feel her lips again. He kissed her hungrily, tasting every bit of her that he had missed. And when they pulled away, he could see the tears in her eyes.

" And I should have told you I wanted you back," she says beginning to cry.

Harry didn't hesitate to pull her into his embrace. She cried into his chest while his chin rested on the top of her head. He held her tight, so tight that she wouldn't be able to push herself away. Harry wasn't going to lose her again. He wasn't going to let her leave. This night and from this day forward, he was going to put up a fight. Because in the end, he couldn't be without Mary. She was the love of his life.

Harry had brought Mary back to his place since he had moved out of his previous apartment with his frat roommates. He now had lived alone. Mary trailed behind him with their hands still interlocked. He couldn't help but to smile to himself. Mary smelled of perfume and alcohol but to him he was happy that she was out and enjoying herself. She looked a lot happier.

" So this is my flat. It's just me who lives here," He says holding his arm out to gesture to his living room.

Mary laughed, " I like it, it's so you."

There was a moment of silence while he stood grinning over at Mary. She was finally at his place. She was finally talking to him. He just had to get her back into his life.

" And I just need you in it," He smirks, pulling Mary into a long, passionate deep kiss.

Her arms go to wrap around his neck as she kissed him back. Slowly, they step into his bedroom not breaking their kiss. She dropped her bag on the ground. He tossed his coat to the side. She quickly took off her coat and he pulled the hair tie that held her hair up gently out. Soon they were back all over each other. Mary hadn't felt Harry's hands all over her in so long that she was getting slightly impatient. She pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it to the side. Harry was eyeing the black sheer lacy bra that she had on.

He picked her up and planted her onto of his dresser, leaving wet soft kisses from her neck, trialing down right above her most sensitive part. His hands pull the denim shorts down and he felt himself twitch the lacy black thong she had on. She sat there with her legs slightly parted, eyeing Harry as she waited for his next move.

He then stood in between her legs, and planted his lips onto hers as his hand went down to rub the thin cloth that separated her most vulnerable spot and his fingers. She lets out a deep moan into their kiss as Harry let his fingers play with her. For a second, she had to moan into the crevices of his neck as her hand went down to rub against his now harden bulge. He then wiggled his fingers in between her thong and let them slip into her, causing her to dip her head into his neck again and let out a cry. He went slowly in and out, kissing her on her neck, kissing her on her forehead and lips.

Mary can feel herself edge closer. She was going insane with how much she wanted Harry to ruin her. She so horny that she felt that she needed more than just his fingers inside of her. She wanted more. She wanted to be ruined with her makeup smeared everywhere. Inside her head she knew that no one else could make her feel the way Harry made her feel.

" Harry please," She's breathes.

" Please what baby?" He says while looking down at her while increasing the way his fingers flowed in and out of her.

" Please fuck me!" She cries out as her hands go to clutch onto his shoulder.

" Tell me how, how do you like it baby?" He smirks down at her as his fingers were nearly soaked at how wet she was for him.

" Like, like how you would bend me over and pound into me, I want- I want you to fuck me hard Harry," she struggles to say as she was feeling her body grow weak to his touch.

Harry pulled his fingers out and pulled her in for another kiss while unclipping her bra and tossing it to the ground. He eyes her first while watching how her hair fell right on top of her breast and hardened nipples. He then picked her up from the dresser and threw he onto his bed. He slowly goes to pull her lacy thong down exposing all of her to him. He crawls on top of her, beginning with a long passionate kiss to her lips and then trailing all the way down to her cl!t. He began to paint her with his tongue. To him, she tasted sweet like honey, sweet and sour like oranges. Mary felt this euphoric feeling travel up her as her hands were buried in his curly locks.

" Yes Harry! Just like that!" She moans out.

Harry pulls away, now unbuckling his belt and letting his pants fall to his ankles. He kicks them off before pulling down his boxers to reveal and long hardened cock.

He climbs over Mary and aligns himself at her entrance. And places a couple more kisses on her lips while rubbing the tip of his length in between her folds. And that's when he pushes himself in and Mary lets out a loud moan. Slowly he goes in and out, letting her adjust to him. They both were panting, breathing out hot breathes as he thrusted into her. Her hands were clenching his back as his strokes were slow but went in deep. Each thrust, she felt this high that made her bite her lip and moan out each time. Something that she never forgot about Harry was that his sex was pure ecstasy. She was feeling all kinds of highs whenever he fucked her.

Harry didn't quicken his pace and her eyes rolled back as she whimpered. He kept it slow and intimate all while planting long firm kisses on her lips and feeling the vibrations of her moans travel through him. Mary meant the most to him and he wanted her to feel that. Each thrust he poured all his love for Mary. Seeing her unveiled and watching her unfold under him, it made him feel at the top of the world. His hand rested on her hips when ever he would thrust harder just to hit the right spot. She was a moaning mess and he thought it was the hottest thing.

Together they were going to reach their highs. Her legs began to convulse and she was now shaking underneath him. He was letting out deep groans and raspy moans as he began to pound into her. The bed began to bang against the wall and Mary was letting out a high pitched whimper.

" Fuck, I'm going to cum," Harry growls

And once it finally hit, he felt himself collapse onto of her, slowly and sloppily thrusting into her. He kissed her and brushed her hair back as she came down for her high. He held her close until her body relaxed. And when they finally settled, he pulled out and got out of the bed to go to the bathroom.

Mary was still slumped and recovering from the intensity of her orgasm. But she watched Harry as he cleaned up and grabbed a towel. When he came back, he helped her wipe herself before getting back into the bed with her and pulling her to lay against his chest.

They laid in silence against each other as his hands brushed through her hair. He smiled at how messy it still was from their night of fun.

" Mary?" He called out.

" Mm," was all she replied back.

" That night Katie Texted, she texted me about her friend who she didn't want know that she was out that night. I was initially was suppose to give her and Damien a ride, they had been seeing each other. But I got the text and rushed over to you instead."

Mary looked at him, almost with guilt in her eyes. She knew she should have listened to Harry that night. They both should have listened to each other.

" But it doesn't matter, I didn't listen to what you had to say and how you felt. I was a shitty boyfriend and it was no wonder you thought that after the video. But just know Mary... I love you and I'd never do that to you."

She smiled and pulls him down to give him a kiss. She still loved Harry all this time. Even if she kept denying it she knew deep down she wouldn't have been able to push Harry away again.

" I quit the frat, I've focused on school, I got this internship at a publishing firm. I've changed Mary believe me. I changed in hopes that I'd see you and you'd come back..." he trails

Her hand goes to cup his cheek and leans in to peck his lips.

" We'll just have to start over and work things out," she simply replied.

He smiles and plants another kiss on her lips. They continued to make out, their hands cupping each other's cheeks.

" We going for round two?" she asks in between their kiss.

Harry pulls away laughing while putting her to have her sit on his lap.

" Will you be able to walk tomorrow?" He says interlocking their hands.

" I have nothing to do tomorrow, we can stay in bed all day," She grins.

Without hesitation he throws her down back on the bed and began to shower her with kisses.

" I'll be more gentle this time." he smirks. 

From then on, the past was past. Living is to forget. Being able to forget is to learn. Harry and Mary took time to understand each other more and chose their priorities for one another. In the end, Harry was more than happy to be able to call Mary his girlfriend once again. 

[gethooked]

Lacrosse girlfriend ~ HOOK imagine

Reader going to one of Tyler’s lacrosse games. - requested by @carlybow

Author’s note: I know not a single thing about lacrosse so if I get something wrong don’t come at me. Besides that, enjoy!

Tyler and you have been dating since 7th grade. You guys are now seniors in high school. During 8th grade, Tyler decided he wanted to give lacrosse a try. You were happy he was trying new things but were upset that you guys would spend less time together. But you told him you would support him anyway.

He made the travel team that he tried out for. The sad thing was that all of his games were on the weekends. You couldn’t make any of the games because you would babysit. You babysat for the moms in the neighborhood that couldn’t find anyone else to watch their kids. Since you were so good with the kids they asked you if you could babysit them on the weekends for them, you agreed.

After all of his games, he would call you and tell you what happened and how good he did during the game. No matter what happened you were happy for him because he found a new interest. You told him you wish you could go to the games but you were babysitting on the weekends. He understood and would tell you that he would make sure his mom and dad took videos of him for you to see. They ended up doing just as their son asked and sent you the videos, this made you happy because you love watching him do what he loves.

It took you until your guys senior year to go see him play. Your freshman year you got a job after school to start saving up for money for college. And you still babysat on the weekends to help your mom with the bills. He understood this but didn’t have to worry about you making it to his games since they were playing on TV. You got to watch him and babysit, besides during the weekdays which you weren’t really excited about.

But your senior year you stopped babysitting on the weekends, but worked on the weekends instead. Luckily, it was a Friday and you didn’t have to go into work until Saturday night. Friday happened to be senior night and you knew you had to be there to support him. The only downside to this was that you did not know a thing about lacrosse. Tyler tried to teach you what things meant and how to play but you couldn’t pick it up as fast as he did.

They introduced all of the seniors and their parents first before the game started. Once they said Tyler’s name you cheered for him and when he saw you blew him a kiss. Which he blew right back to you. After they got done introducing the seniors, the game started and Tyler’s parents sat next to you. Taz knew you didn’t understand that much about lacrosse so he would do his best to explain it to you and tell you that Tyler was actually doing good.

Tyler would score four total goals during this game. Each time he scored you got up and cheered for him. Each time he scored he would point the stick at you and make a heart to you at the same time. It made you happy knowing he was doing what he loved to do. At the end of the game, Tyler’s team ended up winning by 13.

His parents started heading out to the diner you guys were going to eat at to celebrate. You waited for Tyler to get dressed so you guys could go together. As soon as he got out of the locker room he walked over you. He engulfed you in a big hug, gave you a kiss. “It only took you five years to come see one of my games!”

You rolled your eyes at him and told him to hush and be thankful you even came. He actually was thankful and was just teasing you. You knew this and gave him a kiss back. He walked hand in hand with you to the car carrying his bags. He dropped his bags off on the ground by the trunk and helped you in the car.

Once you got in he went back and put his things in the trunk. Then got himself in the car to head to the diner. As you guys were driving, you told him how proud and happy you are for him. You told him that once you guys graduated high school, and he still played lacrosse you would try your best to make it to most of his games. “Thank you, my love, I honestly think I played better with you in the stands compared to when you're not.”

Taglist: @99hook @carlybow @saramusazzi99

[schlattslonghairytoes]

chapter nine

talias pov, real life!

"you two sons of bitches are going to college!" the movie fades out and i look up to schlatt, only to see him staring back down at me "hi" i say quietly "hi" he says back even quieter, schlatt isnt a shy guy, but right now he's acting like one.

"are we gonna talk about it jay, because im not sure i can handle it, but i cant stand you being mean to me anymore, not with what i had to live through in high school" i look up his face, his usual stone demeanor melting for what, to me, feels like hours

he blinks before speaking "ive never been known for my clever use of words, or being able to have difficult conversations at all, but talia im so sorry, you dont deserve that, you never did, and i guess i finally owe you a proper explanation huh?"

lets get back on track shall we? last time we saw these two dumbasses, they began their "rough period" as i like to call it, the glares across the halls, the shit talking and most importantly, the rumors.

now, talia hated drama, lets make that clear, because freshman year when someone told the whole school that she had sex with a teacher, when all she did was go to extra help, she thought her life was over, and i wont sugarcoat it. for a while it was.

but who sat with her holding her hand the whole time. a young boy by the name of jonathan schlatt, he gathered her homework on the days she missed, he tutored her in classes he didnt even take just so she wouldnt fail. so imagine her suprise when her (ex) best friend, began dating her other (ex) best friend, and her name would stop being talked about.

schlatt had asked out anabelle january 7th, almost 5 months after talia and schlatt became sworn enemies, so naturally anabelle took schlatts side, because thats what happens when you make friends who dont really care about you.

back to the rumors at hand, talia wasnt unpopular, everyone loved her, how couldnt you? i mean look at her. but what comes with slight popularity, your name always being brought up, but by then she was used to it. 

until the fateful day of febuary 14 arrived.

it was time for talias annual valentines party, when people started asking why the address had changed on the invite from previous years, she shut it down immediately, leaving aside that she had been kicked out 3 months prior.

after a fight with her parents her mom told her is was time to stop being so dependant, handed her 1000 dollars, a suitcase, and of course, in true nancy romano fashion, a food scale, and closed the door. talia eventually moved into her late grandmothers apartment 6 blocks down

her mother didnt know about the apartment, so when talia realised that it was legaly documented that the house was hers, as written in her grandmothers will, she moved in with her cat, said 1000 dollars, and a dream. first order of business, throw out that stupid foodscale.

when she finally revamped her new apartment in december, she was finally able to relax and live her life once again.

back to February, of course there was talk about this address update, but what talia didnt expect was for anabelle to tell the school that talia no longer lived within the schools district, meaning, she wouldnt be able to attend the school.

talia left that meeting in the princeables office in tears, after being told that "she might not be able to graduate" she felt as if her life was over, that was until she locked eyes with a guilty looking schlatt. 

and rage filled her immediately.

"me. you. outside now." she grabbed him by the collar and dragged him along with her outside, ignoring his pleas that "he'll be marked absent".

"what the fuck did you do jonathan." she shoved him roughly, hard enough to make him stumble. "i swear on everything talia, i didnt know she would do that! it was anabelle, i even asked her not to, are you going to be ok? and why are you living in nana's house, whats going on?" he asked like she didnt have the right to hide things from him.

"oh shut the fuck up, dont act like now you know everything about me! you threw that away the moment you gave up on me, on us! you forgot about me! and now you wanna stumble back to me with open arms and be my savior, no jay, thats not how this works" she shouted and pushed him again.

"please tell me whats going on, please" he begged quietly. "talia i need to know, please i need to know youre ok." he grabs her arm.

"she kicked me out Jonathan. i dont eat most days cause i have no fucking money, none, my job pays me shit, for the first time in my life im failing a class, and if i even get into college, im going to have years of student loans up my ass, because again i have no money." as the words came pouring out, schlatts eyes scanned her, her frame looking thinner and weaker, face more defined.

he remembered when talia thought she was fat, and looked at her now, and wished for the ten pounds she lost could come back, she wasnt recognizable, she wasnt his talia, but then again, she never was.

"say something" her voice weakened. "anything, please." the crack in her voice is what sent him over the edge, he wrapped her huge arms around her in the tightest bear hug shes ever been in, and for a moment, slotted in his arms where she belonged, she forgot everything that ever happened. until he removed them.

"i have to go" he said before turning around and going right back into school, leaving talia all on her own once again.

one month later, talia was laying on her bed, figuring out how she was going to pay rent this month, when a she heard someone knocking at the door. she got up and opened the door and before she could close it, jonathan handed her a envelope and left, no words, emotions, or anything else for that matter.

she closed the door and looked down at the envolope in her hands that stated "we need to talk" in schlatts stupid chickenscratch. 

as she began to open the letter she felt her eyes fill with tears and slowly fall onto the letters contents, a hand written note, and, in hundred dollar bills, 10,000 dollars.

"i never understood why you did that, where did you even get that money?" i asked, reflecting on all those years ago.

"remember my jesus take the wheel video? i made 15k off of that, aswell as other later vids, and i was working at the deli at that time, it all just came together". he looked down at me, and as i look up at him, his face looks more like his highschool self then i remember, softer eyes and eyebrows then ive seen in the past few days.

now this next era lasts from late march until mid may, and i like to call it, the reconstruction era. 

after schlatt left a very suspicious envelope at her door, she chased after him, and they decided they were both going to work toward being friends again, and that they did, they started to be friends again, and they really tried, but there was only so much they could both do.

talia helped schlatt through his breakup, and in return, schlatt helped talia finish all of her college applications, the two ultimately going with the original plan of applying to the same dream school they shared. the broken duo started to heal each crack in their relationship, but they were never going to be fully mended. 

prom was now in a month, and when schlatt promposed to talia with a sign reading, "be the jenko to my schmitt, and jump over to prom with me?" famously based off of their favorite shared movie, talia couldnt help but say yes. so she did and things were going even better for them, they were finally friends again.

until the dean of that stupid college decided to ruin schlatts life, merely days before prom. so when talia hadnt heard from schlatt in a week and prom was tonight, she began to worry, but this time she had faith in him, to be the good friend he was, and pick her up at 6:30 sharp.

so when she sat on her front step and her phone read 7:00 back at her, she knew something had happened, and the worst part was, she couldnt bring herself to be suprised, or even mad. she had a feeling this would happen, so she called her best friend nick, and made her way to prom.

rounds of spiked punch and dancing with her friends had started to make the pain go away, until she saw him. a seemingly sober schlatt waltzing into prom, with a familiar blonde wrapped around his arm. she felt her heart break into enough pieces she couldnt begin counting, and with all the courage she could muster, she put on a fake smile and walked up to the happy couple.

"hey guys! glad you could finally make it, seems time doesnt mean anything to you two, just wanted to say, anabelle every moment knowing you has been unpleasant. and frankly i hope i never have to look at you and your fucked up teeth again, have a good time at community college, thats if you make it there. and you Jonathan, i hope you know what a horrible person you are, i dont know why you loved breaking my heart, because honestly, i was inlove with you John, i would have followed you across the globe of you asked, but you just made my life so much easier, because i fucking. hate. you." she pushed past the pair  and scoffed when she heard him calling after her.

the rain outside made it much harder to outrun a 6'3 giant, already having the disadvantage of being so much shorter, and also wearing 3 inch heels. "TALIA!" his stupid voice yelled after her, repeatedly, louder each time, until he finally caught up to her, only seconds away from her apartment, and when he did he grabed her wrist in order to stop her.

"dont fucking touch me! dont come near me, stay the fuck away, i dont ever want to see or hear from you ever again. its over schlatt, you did this! we couldve been so good together, or even friends, but you threw that away for what, why did you do it, because we both know you owe me that," she screamed yanking her arm away from his tight grip.

"i-i dont know why talia, i was scared, i didnt get i-" he studdered "you were scared? SCARED? you did this to me because you were scared" she pushed him further from her apartment building "schlatt, quite literally when i needed you most, you left! i was homeless for a week, did you ever know? NO, BECAUSE NO ONE KNEW, I WAS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY ALONE." she tried to calm her voice but was only slightly successful.

"i was alone and scared, and the one person i loved and cared for, dropped me because HE was scared! ironic right?" she backed toward the door to her apartment building "let me make this clear, im not blaming you for me being kicked out, im blaming you for leaving me when i needed you, because we both know that i would have never done that to you." she opened the door and looked back at him. "i never want to see you again, leave, and get out of my life schlatt." she yelled in his face. 

"please lia i know you don't want to hear me out, but you have too. please I can't lose you Lia, cmon for us we need to talk about it" he begged tears mixing with the pouring rain. for a moment, every movie theve ever watched together crossed his mind. all the scenes where the love interest stands outside in the pouring rain, begging for forgiveness, and in every single one, she forgives him, but as much as he hoped, he knew that wouldnt be his reality.

"I can't jay, I cant and I'm not sorry"  and the door closed, unlike the movies, the rain didnt go away, his heart didnt feel lighter, and the rejection letter in his pocket, already ruined from the rain, didnt magically fade away, and by the time he got home and opened his phone, he was already blocked on everything, the green text confirming all of his suspicions 

iMessage!

my talia<3

talia, since the day i met you as a toddler, i knew you would change my life forever, in elementary school you were my first friend, and the only person i wanted to have playdates with, and the only person i wanted to see at school. then came middle school, when your parents split up, i prayed the night i found out, that you would stay with your mom, so you could stay with me, and when you did, i had never felt luckier. in eighth grade i realised i was in love with you, but as a typical middle schooler i tried my best to ignore it, and move on. freshman year wasnt easy, rumors meant nothing when i was able to be at your side making you laugh after seeing all that everyone put you through. sophmore and junior year with you at my side made life feel easier, and in the summer before senior year, when you kissed me, i knew i was a goner. the more i spent time with you, the harder i fell in love with you, every moment i spent with you was something i cherished with my whole heart. but heres the part that i didnt tell you, 10 days before my birthday, my grandpa died, i know it doesn't sound like much, but i felt as if my whole world ment nothing anymore, and alcohol was my only way of moving past it. and on september ninth, when i drank so much i forgot what year it was, anabelle invited me to a party and said you would be there, and after avoiding everyone and everything for a week, i knew i needed to see my favorite person. when i arrived she convinced my drunken state that she was you. and i believed her. the next day i knew something was wrong, and after you left me in that panera i sat in silence for 3 hours, and i realised what i had done, and by the time i went home, another bottle of whiskey had me convinced that anabelle was you. the real reason me and her broke up, was because one time i accidentally called her talia, and thats the day i stopped drinking. coincidentally, that's the same day i went to the bank and left 10,000 dollars at your door. the reason i didnt ever come pick you up at prom, was because the week before, i had found out i got rejected from college, not just our dream one, every single one talia, i felt like an absolute failure, and i couldnt even look at you, i didnt want you to be tied down to a loser like me, so i turned to alcohol once again, and convinced my self that if i asked anyone, not that they would ever live up to you, i could pretend for long enough that it was you. but no one could ever be you. 

not delivered❗️

[thelonelybrilliance]

Friday Night Lights: How Old Is Everyone, Exactly?

ok here goes. Here's how we make sense of the ages for seasons 1-3 of Friday Night Lights with as few loopholes as possible. (OK, maybe some loopholes and headcanons). I'm going to take this in batches.

Jason/Tim/Lyla/Smash

Season 1, Jason Street is a senior. We also know that he is 18 years old (he turns 19 at the beginning of Season 2). Judging from the return-from-Mexico arc at the beginning of Season 2, his birthday is probably mid-September (the Panthers are two games into the season). So far, so good.

At the start of Season 1, Tim, Lyla, and Smash are presumed to be juniors. This works out as far as Smash is concerned--he reminds Matt at the start of Season 2 that "this is his year," and he, unlike Tim*, gets letters of interest and recruiting interviews in Season 2 as Jason did in Season 1.

(*although Tim is also not seeming particularly eligible for college at that point)

Tim could be plausibly a year behind his peers in Season 1 while being junior-age. We know he is 17 at the start of Season 2, and I head-canon that his birthday is late fall/winter, so he is 16-going-on-17 for most of Season 1. Mud Bowl takes place in November, for reference. (To make the Jackie of it all slightly less icky, presume his birthday is in October/early November. To give him the Sad Christmas baby birthday he deserves, presume it is in December.) Since Jason's game-tapes in early Season 2 and Tim's starting position throughout the show suggest that he is not transferring from JV at the beginning of Season 1, Tim is presumably not a freshman. Pre-Coach and Tami's influence at Dillon High, I think it's plausible that him being held back a grade would not have disqualified him from playing. (Also, the rally girls did his homework.) I imagine the grade(s) Tim got held back were more likely in elementary and middle school; around the time his dad left. Billy tells us in early Season 1 that their dad left (mom already out of the picture) Christmas 2001. So Tim presumably would have had some major issues around the age of 11-12 (and before--have you met Walt Riggins?), and could have been held back in sixth or seventh grade.

Now, Lyla. What's interesting is that Lyla's birthday is around the same time as Jason's, because in early season one (right before she and Tim first connect), she spends her birthday in the hospital with Jason, also about 1-2 games into the season. At this point, we can presume Lyla starts off at 16 and turns 17 shortly into Season 1.

Lyla, unlike Tim, is a straight-A student (Tami confirms this in the early episodes of Season 1). So why does Lyla--presumably a junior in Season 1 and a senior in Season 2--graduate in Season 3 with Tim? Here's my head-canon in three cringe-y words: Christ Teen Messengers. While Lyla is present in the halls of Dillon High in Season 2, there's a throwaway comment about her extracurriculars when Tami asks her to help with Pantherama. She's too busy because of Christ Teen Messengers, specifically. Between her work with juvenile detention center, the fact that she goes down to Mexico in the middle of the school week for a few days as well as the boys, and her general disinterest in academics throughout Season 2 (she has time for a radio show, though!), I like to think she took a sort of "gap-year" where she did minimal credits/maybe deferred graduating for this quasi-"internship" experience. I don't really know if such a thing exists, but if it did, would it not be soooo Lyla to take advantage of it? That way she can recalibrate her life but not cancel out her chances at college completely. Thus, while she's never been held back a year for academic problems, she ends up deferring her senior year to Season 3.

In terms of ages, this gives us the following:

Season 1: Jason (17/immediately turns 18), Lyla (16/immediately turns 17), Tim (16/turns 17 at the end of the season), Smash (17). Idk I enjoy Tim being the oversized baby of the group, but they're all within less than a year and a half of each other, age-wise.

Season 2: Jason (18/immediately turns 19), Lyla (17/immediately turns 18), Tim (17), Smash (18)

Season 3: Jason (20), Lyla (19), Tim (18/19)

Season 4: Lyla (20), Tim (19/20)

Season 5: Jason (22 on his visit to Dillon), Tim (21 when he gets out of jail)

[Don't worry we'll get to Tyra.]

Matt/Julie/Landry

In Season 1, Matt, Landry, and Julie are implied to be sophomores (Julie because Tami refers to her, at one point, as a sophomore). But then Julie and Landry both stay a year longer than Matt, who graduates on time.

Full disclosure that I care less about Landry and Julie than other characters, so their graduating in season 4/early season 5 makes no mark on my spirit. However, I think given the fact that they are (presented as) academic achievers, it might make sense that they were taking some AP classes at various points and that is why Landry is out here tutoring people and Julie is referred to as a sophomore. It would also explain why the classes (such as the English class where Waverly and Smash debate The Odyssey) are mixed-age. Now, Landry is driving in Season 1, but if he was a 15-year-old freshman--not impossible--he could have been driving. Matt is actually plausibly older, since he had previously wrecked a car (not that everyone in Dillon, especially a parentified teen, should be assumed to be abiding by driving laws). If Matt is a sophomore in Season 1, he' s a senior in Season 3, which checks out. He is stated to be 16 in Season 1, but that could be a rough estimate--presume he's about a year younger than Tim, as opposed to about to turn 17.

If Landry and Julie are freshmen in Season 1, it's plausible (if not likely) that despite their "super smarts" (lol) they graduate last after a year at East Dillon.

So, for ages:

Season 1: Matt (15/turning 16), Landry (15), Julie (15)

Season 2: Matt (16/turning 17), Landry (16), Julie (16)

Etc.

Tyra

Tyra is in many ways the most ambiguous case, but I actually think that she is in the same boat as Tim. We know her grades are bad to start with, and that (pre-Season 1) she has several run-ins with the law as well as failed classes. Season 1 Tyra has "held back a year... or two..." all over her. For this reason, I expect that when she starts putting in the work in Season 1, she's in her sophomore year--thus (unfortunately for her), she's not too far apart from Landry in terms of classwork for him to be able to assist her. Then she continues on the straight and narrow reasonably enough to graduate in Season 3 with Tim, Lyla, and Matt.

As for Tyra's birthday...she seems like a June baby to me, but maybe I'm just biased. I think it's fairer to say that she is Tim's age rather than Lyla's. She might be a little younger than Tim--maybe a January birthday instead of his late fall/early winter one. So... Tyra is 16 (and a half) in Season 1, 17 (and a half) in Season 2, 18 (and a half) in Season 3, and about to turn 21 in Season 5.

[karizard-ao3]

At fourteen, the pilots haven't matured yet and are going through that difficult period of being teenagers. Can you imagine what Shinji's relationships would be like if they didn't need to pilot the evas and came to know each other for a longer time, like from 14 to 18 years old?

You know, it's kind of hard to picture because they got to know each other due to becoming pilots, so I guess I'll start by putting them in a different setting where they can be coworkers of sorts but without all the trauma.

Okay, let's see. This is also tricky because most 14 year olds these days don't have jobs.

A school club, then?

Lol let's do Lego robotics. They don't pilot mechas. They build little Lego robots and program them to complete tasks. It's like a tiny, non-traumatizing version of the Evangelions.

In fact, Evangelions can be their team name and their chief rival is the Angels. Misato is their advisor, with the help of Ritsuko, who teaches science at their high school.

Gendo forces Shinji to join the club because it will look good on his college apps. Rei, Shinji's cousin or young aunt, was also encouraged to join by Gendo, but they have a good relationship so she's okay with it. Asuka transferred to their school from Germany and believes that she is the superior Lego builder because she grew up in a closer geographical vicinity to Denmark. She has been to the Danish Legoland.

So I think freshman year we can anticipate that their relationships will be pretty similar to canon. They're 14. They're brimming with hormones and irrational feelings. Shinji's got severe daddy issues. They do not function well as a team, particularly him and Asuka. Shinji accidentally befriends Kaworu online, only to discover when they meet in person that he is a memeber of the Angels Lego robotics team. Tragedy ensues.

I remember 15 being an absolute clusterfuck of a year. Like, peak teen angst. So I think they're probably all going through some stuff but maybe this is what starts to bring them together? Not at first. At first they are all real shits, but then I think they might start to develop some empathy and be able to see themselves in each other. It all comes to a head during a high stakes Lego robotics competition they're holding out of town. For whatever reason, they have a lot riding on the line. Maybe we can borrow from the ballroom dancing au and decide that Lego robotics is going to get axed as a school program if they don't start getting some wins (they did really bad the year before). Or maybe they'll lose funding? Anyway. The team bonds when, at the competitions, they each take turns having breakdowns and comforting each other. They begin to learn to work together and realize that team work does indeed make the dream work.

By age 16, they're starting to calm down. One of them gets a car so they drive to get snacks or whatever after Lego club pretty regularly. Shinji and Asuka are starting to figure out how to talk to eachother without triggering Armageddon while Asuka and Rei are starting to do girls activities with each other.

Oh, gosh. This is getting long and my mind is also wandering because it's getting close to my bedtime. Anyway, I think basically they just, over time as their wee little brains finish developing, start to be able to collaborate and see things from each other's perspective and they become a formidable Lego robotics team and go to nationals and then onto worldwide events. Gendo is happy with Shinji for once. Rei and Asuka go on Lego Masters together after they graduate and then Rei gets a job at Lego HQ in Denmark.

I feel like that didn't really answer your question. I don't really know why it turned into being about Lego robots, but here we are. I think, in short, the answer is, they start out butting heads and having conflicts because they are thrown together into a teamwork situation that they are not ready for (and also they are not good at team activities). Over time, they learn to work together and accept each others' differences and flaws. Eventually, they are able to collaborate and kind of learn and grow from each other's influence. They make up for each other's weaknesses by offering up their strengths. I think we get little bits of them trying to learn to work together in NGE but, unfortunately, they don't get the opportunity to succeed because they run out of time and must each face the end of the world almost entirely on their own.

God, I am tired af. I don't even know if I'm making sense. Stopping while I'm mostly ahead.

[gnabnahc317cb97]

The Enemy of my Enemy

Seungmin x Female reader

Word count: 5.1k

Synopsis: Your soulmate's name on one wrist, your enemies on the other, and no way of knowing which is which. Having Kim Seungmin’s name on your wrist could only mean one thing after years of torture he was, no doubt, your enemy.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY MDNI! Cursing/ strong language, mentions of bullying, excessive drinking, vomiting, unprotected piv sex (please use condoms), cream pie. That's it yall. If I happened to have missed something let me know and I'll add it!

If you would have known when you turned twenty-one that Kim Seungmin’s name would appear on your wrist you would have cut off your arm. Okay maybe that was a bit drastic but the last thing you wanted to see every time you looked down was his name. He’d tortured you through most of middle school and high school. The other name on your other wrist, Andy Cope, he sounded nice. You tried to imagine what he looked like, what kind of person he was. How this worked was one of the names that appeared on your wrist was the name of your soulmate, the other, your enemy and if Kim Seungmin’s name was on one of your wrists it was for one reason and one reason only. He was your enemy. 

What was crazy was in primary school, you and Seungmin had been inseparable, best friends. You weren’t sure what happened. You left for a summer between primary and middle school and when you came back he was... different. Mean. It started with ignoring you, even if you walked straight up to him he just turned and acted like he didn’t see you. It was embarrassing the couple of times it happened and then you just stopped trying. You didn’t even know why he was being the way he was but you were just a kid and it hurt you so if he wouldn’t talk to you about it then you wouldn’t talk to him either. As time went on just ignoring you wasn’t fun enough and he started to torment you. Every day it was something any little thing he could do to upset you, like sliding a broken ink pen in the back pocket of your new jeans, he would tell new kids that although you looked normal you had brain damage from falling off a toilet, on three separate occasions he’d changed your name in the yearbook to Chu Bocca. They eventually stopped allowing him to work for the yearbook so he had to find other ways to pick at you and he did, every... single... day. 

When you finally graduated high school you were so relieved to be going to a college far far away from Kim Seungmin. Or so you thought. To say you were a little upset to see Seungmin at your freshman orientation would be an understatement. Truthfully as soon as you saw him you ran back to your dorm, fell onto your bed and cried. It had been seven years, did you really have to go through another four? When you were done with college would he move next door to you? Would he always be right there to pick at you? Tear you down for reasons you didn’t even know? It’s not fair you thought to yourself. In all actuality Seungmin had no idea you had even applied to that college, it was your second choice and his first. It wasn’t like he was going out of his way to follow you. He’d looked forward to not living in the shadow of his pain anymore but he saw you as you dashed away from the freshman orientation and his heart sank. 

The summer in between primary and middle school had been really hard for Seungmin. He missed you terribly. Fourth grade he’d developed a bit of a crush on you. By the summer before middle school, it was full on puppy love. Then one of the boys from your class showed Seungmin a note that looked like your handwriting. It said that he was annoying and that you were glad to be gone for the summer so you didn’t have to pretend to be his friend the whole time. The boy who showed Seungmin the note said that you had given it to him because he was your boyfriend now and you didn’t want him to think you had any feelings for Seungmin. The boy said to stay away and to not bother you anymore. Poor Seungmin’s heart was broken, he was hurt and angry. If you didn’t want to be his friend anymore fine! The first day back at school you walked right up to Seungmin and acted like everything was perfectly normal. He was gob smacked and when his brain finally caught up he just turned and walked away. He did the same thing the next time you tried to talk to him.  

Then you started to ignore him and that made him even more angry. Who were you to be mad that he wouldn’t talk to you when you had said what you said? That’s when the little petty picking started. Seungmin would never do anything that would get you into big trouble or anything that would hurt you. He was mad at you but he would never want to hurt you like that, no matter what you did to him. Seven years. No matter how much he said he hated you to anyone that would listen, deep down every year Seungmin loved you more and more which only made his pain grow more. He had been looking forward to his own fresh start at college and then he saw you running away and it seemed like any chance of that happening ran out the door with you. 

Whether you were there or not Seungmin decided to stick with his plan. This was a new place with new people, a fresh start, and that’s exactly what he did. He made new friends and avoided you if he could but didn’t make a thing of it. Once classes started it wasn’t hard since you were both so busy with your workload. You actively avoided Seungmin which made his job of staying away from you easy. That was until Seungmin’s twenty-first birthday when he looked down and saw your name on one of his wrists, he quickly looked at the other and knew instantly what it meant. You were Seungmin’s soulmate. You of course wouldn’t know this until your own twenty-first birthday unless he told you and there was no way you would believe him even if he showed you. A couple weeks after your birthday you got a text from an unknown number. 

Unknown: Uh... hey. 

You: Uh... who’s this? 

Unknown: We’ll get to that, for now just know I’m someone you know and probably don’t like very much. 

You: Seungmin? 

Unknown: Dammit! 

You: 🙄 What do you want Seungmin? Why are you cryptically texting me? 

Seungmin: Well it was your birthday a couple of weeks ago... 

You: Yes it was, I’m surprised you still remember when it is. 

Seungmin: Well don’t you think we should talk about it? 

You: What is there to talk about Seungmin? It’s not surprising, is it? 

Seungmin: You weren’t surprised?! I have to say I definitely was. 

You: I don’t know why, you’ve hated me for years, of course you’d be my enemy. 

Enemy? You thought he was your enemy?! Did you hate him that much? He never hated you; he was hurt and immature. He’d learned since then and the last couple years away at college had made him grow up a bit. If you thought he was your enemy you must be pretty certain that the other name was your soulmate. He wanted to know. 

Seungmin: What’s the name on your other wrist? 

You: Not that it’s any of your business but Andy Cope is the other name. 

Seungmin was so confused. 

Seungmin: How do you know him? 

You: I don’t 

Seungmin: Then how do you know he’s your soulmate and not me? 

You: Are you actually being serious right now? 

Seungmin: YES! 

You: I’m not doing this Seungmin, you know you’re not my soulmate you just want to fuck with me. We’ve been civil and leaving each other alone here. Let’s just keep doing that. 

Seungmin: Wait... I’m not fucking with you listen! 

You: No. Seungmin drop the soulmate thing. 

Seungmin: Just let me tell you something! 

You: Whatever you want to tell me Seungmin I don’t want to hear now leave me alone! 

Seungmin: This user has blocked this number 

Seungmin was so frustrated. He only wanted to explain that he knew he was your soulmate, he knew because the name that appeared on his other wrist on his twenty-first birthday was also Andy Cope. Obviously you both didn’t have the same soulmate, and to have the same enemy was extremely rare but it did happen. Seungmin went to pull you up on social media but you blocked him there too. After that he never saw you around campus. Before he’d see you here and there but now he never did. He was hurt all over again, just like that summer. He just couldn’t believe you hated him so much that you believed he was your enemy. He was a pest yes, and did things to bother you constantly, mostly for attention because he was a dumb teenager but he never did anything to actually hurt you. He would never because underneath all that anger was a broken heart. He was certain when you said the same name that you would know who this Andy Cope was. The name sounded so familiar to Seungmin he just couldn’t place it. 

A few months after blocking Seungmin it was time to head home for break. Seungmin was home too but still hadn’t seen you. He was still stuck on that name Andy Cope, Andy Cope... He pulled out one of his old yearbooks and started thumbing through it. It was seventh grade. He got to the page with your picture the name under read Chu Bocca, it was the first year he’d done that. He’d honestly hoped you would think it was funny, you both watched Star Wars a lot but apparently pubescent girls don’t like to be called a big hairy ape man. Then Seungmin saw a face he hadn’t thought of in years. Robby Hobbs. Robby left in the eighth grade when his family moved. Robby was the boy that had shown him your note, or the note he had believed to be yours, and threatened Seungmin to stay away. Then Seungmin remembered something he’d learned from one of Robby’s old friends after he’d left. It didn’t seem like an important piece of information at the time, so he’d forgotten until now. Robby was adopted and his birth name was Andy Cope. 

You were bored, it was Friday, your parents were away for the weekend. You decided to go out to the bar and have a drink or two, try to actually relax and loosen up a bit, enjoy your break. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about Seungmin every time you looked down at his name. You’d also be lying if you said you didn’t ever wonder if maybe he was right. Maybe he was your soulmate. The way you were as children, so close you knew even then, you had big feelings in your tiny body. The older you got the more you realized those feelings had been the budding of young love. Young love that was squashed. You were your fourth drink in, you hadn’t planned on drinking so much but your mind got the best of you and the more you thought the more you drank. Suddenly a large man who smelled of alcohol and sweat sat next to you at the bar. You glanced over and realized you actually knew who this gross man was. 

“Robby?” He looked over at you. 

“Well if it isn’t y/n, Jesus Christ are you as miserable as you look?” His words dripped with venom. Your face contorted. 

“Excuse me?” That was a lot coming from a guy that looked like he’d just rolled out of a gutter.  

“You and Seungmin still at each other’s throats still after all these years?” What did he know about that? He moved away not too long after that happened. 

“Best thing I ever did was give Seungmin that note. He tried to hide it but his poor little heart was broken.” Note? What note? What was he talking about? 

“Robby what the hell are you talking about?” He laughed. 

“Didn’t he ever tell you why he was so mad when you came back? Why he stayed away?” You shook your head and Robby started laughing his ass off. 

“Oh that’s fantastic! I expected the silent treatment to last a few days, maybe a few weeks and then you’d figure it out but holy shit! It’s been like what ten, eleven years?!”  

“What did you do?” He wiped his tears away and looked down at you. 

“I scribbled a shitty note and told Seungmin you wrote it to me. Then I told him to stay away from you because you were my new girlfriend.” You were disgusted at the thought and how could Seungmin believe you’d do something like that? 

“Why the fuck would you do something like that Robby? What the hell did we do to you?” He laughed bitterly this time. 

“Because you both were so fucking annoying. Always giggling and whispering, talking shit about me behind my back so I put an end to it.” Your jaw dropped. 

“Robby we never talked about you! What the hell is wrong with you!?” He motioned for another drink, when the bartender sat it down Robby grabbed it and got up grumbling. 

“Gotta live with both your stupid names on my wrists for the rest of my life.” You stood up a little wobbly. 

“Wait what did you just say?” He showed you his wrists and your’s and Seungmin’s names were there plain as day.  

“How is that possible the names on my wrist are Seungmin’s and someone named Andy Cope.” Robby rolled his eyes. 

“And I was born Andy Cope. When my parents adopted me they changed my name to Robby, guess fate didn’t get the memo.” He snatched his arm from your grip and walked away . You realized that if Seungmin’s name was also on Robby... Andy... whoever, if Seungmin’s name was on his wrist then his name was on Seungmin’s too. That was how Seungmin knew you were soulmates, that was what he had been trying to text you but you were too stubborn and proud to listen. Robby had caused so much pain with just a little piece of paper. You feared the damage was done. Seungmin had pushed you away for so long and now you’ve pushed him away. What if you couldn’t fix things, what if it was too late? You drank and worried, doing far too much of both. Once you were good and drunk you grabbed your phone and unblocked Seungmin’s number. 

You: I dkdnt wsrite that noteee I justs thow=ght you shsould know. 

Seungmin: y/n? Are you drunk? 

You: a lilbit 

Seungmin: I think its definitely more than a little, where are you? 

You: I met Andyd coppe tongihst 

Seungmin: You saw Robby? Where are you? 

You: Howd youy knsow he wassss Adny? 

Seungmin: y/n just tell me where you are so I can get you home safe and we’ll talk tomorrow when you’re sober. 

You: You sate me I know syous do You ahte me I dinsdt’ wrire it Min 

Seungmin: I DON’T hate you y/n please tell me where you are 

You: the bar... 

You: Lousie’ 

Seungmin: Louie’s bar? Stay there I’m coming to get you. 

You: mkayy 

Seungmin jumped in his car and sped all the way to Louie’s bar. When he got there, he started looking for you everywhere. You weren’t by the bar or the shitty makeshift dance floor, not by the pool tables. Then he saw you slumped over passed out in a booth. He hurried over and started trying to wake you up. 

“y/n come on wake up, can you hear me?” You hummed and attempted to open your eyes. 

“I hear you Minnie...” He helped you up and by helped it was more like heaved you upright in the booth. All your body weight went against Seungmin’s and he struggled a bit. 

“You’re gonna have to help way more y/n I can’t drag you all the way to the car.” You nodded and leaned into whisper into his ear, your breath smelled like whatever sweet concoction you’d been drinking to get this hammered. 

“I’ve got a secret Min cm’here.” He leaned in close so that you could tell him and he could get you out of there. 

“The first time you changed my name to Chu Bokka in the yearbook was kinda funny...” He smiled a little and shook his head. 

“It was never funny, it was mean and I shouldn’t have done it. Now come on help me out here a bit.” Even drunk, you were surprised to hear him say that. When he put your arm around his shoulder you managed to plant your feet and help him stand and steady you. 

“Think you could walk?” You nodded and the room started getting spiny. You stumbled quite a bit but Seungmin got you to his car and inside. When he got in he looked over at you and you were already slumped over again asleep. He reached over to buckle your seat belt and you hugged him out of no where. 

“Please don’t hate me an’more... I don’t hate you...” He shooshed you. 

“I already told you y/n, I don’t hate you. Get some rest, I'll get you home.” You laid back in the seat again and took a deep breath relaxing and dozing off again. Seungmin sighed and shook his head before heading towards your parent’s house. When he pulled up it was dark and your folk’s car wasn’t there. He gently shook you to wake you up. 

“Hey y/n... is someone home?” You shook your head. 

“Nnnoo, itsss why I went out, momndad are gone for the week’nd” He started grabbing at your pockets looking for your keys and you tried to pull him closer and kiss him. He stopped you. 

“y/n no stop, you’re wasted.” You pouted and he finally found your keys. He helped you out of the car, once he got you to your front door, he made you lean against the door frame while he unlocked it. When he grabbed you to steady you again and get you inside, you tried to kiss him again. He pulled away. 

“I told you to stop that, now come on y/n” He was a little exasperated with you but drunk you thought he didn’t love you. Your eyes got big and teary and you sniffled. 

“It’s ruined, Robby, Andy whoever the fuck he is ruined us.” Seungmin shook his head. 

“No he didn’t you’re just drunk, we’ll talk about everything when you’re sober, I promise.” You allowed him to lead you to your room.  

“Will you stay?” You were still crying, sniffling. He didn’t want to leave you alone with your parents gone.  

“If you behave, I will stay.” You nodded and half heartedly wiped at your tears. Seungmin sat you on the edge of your bed. 

“Where’s your pajamas?” You started unbuttoning your pants and Seungmin quickly turned away. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” You kicked your pants off and pulled your shirt up over your head tossing it too. 

“I sleep naked.” Seungmin pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. 

“Not tonight you don’t, not if I’m sleeping in the bed. Now what drawer are your pajamas in?” He walked over to your dresser refusing to look in your direction. 

“Top.” He opened the top drawer and fished out some shorts and a tank top. He held them back for you to grab. You pulled the pajamas on and laid back in your bed exhausted. Seungmin climbed in and pulled the covers over the both of you. As soon as he was laid back your arms found his and hugged it close while you buried your face in his shoulder. He looked down at you and pushed a little hair away from your face. He shook his head and laid back closing his eyes. 

When the sun came through your bedroom window you cursed yourself for not closing your curtain. How could you have pulled such a rookie mistake and forget that when you drank last night. You knew damn well the sun came in that window early. Then you started to think a bit more clearly. The last thing you remembered was being at the bar. How the hell did you even get home, nevermind the curtain. When you turned someone else in the bed turned to and you sat up quickly screaming. Seungmin woke up immediately thinking something was wrong and quickly realized why you were screaming. When you realized it was Seungmin in your bed you stopped screaming but you weren’t any less upset or confused. Then all excitement and screaming caught up with you. 

“Oh fuck move I’m gonna get sick!” You ran him over and to the bathroom, managing to make it to the toilet before puking. He sleepily walked in behind you rubbing his eyes. After you were done evacuating anything that was left in your stomach you sat back catching your breath. You looked up at Seungmin who was standing there waiting for you to be okay. You could at least somewhat process that you just woke up with Kim Seungmin in your bed now. You asked the first question that entered your mind. 

“Did... uh... did we...” Seungmin shook his head no immediately 

“Oh hell no!” You gave him a shitty look. 

“Not like that! I mean you were drunk as fuck, I’d never, we’d never... you know, if you were that drunk.” You nodded softly, understanding what he meant. 

“Well... I uh... I don’t really remember much of last night.” He nodded. 

“I’m sure you don’t. I’ve never seen you like that before.” You were a little embarrassed. 

“Seungmin... why are you here? Why are you being so nice to me?” He sighed heavily. 

“Why don’t you wash up and I’ll explain everything over some toast and coffee.” You nodded agreeing. 

“Okay, I’ll be quick.” He bowed and backed out, closing the door. After you showered and brushed your teeth thoroughly, you snuck off to your room and got dressed quickly. When you walked out you found Seungmin starting a pot of coffee. He stopped when he saw you. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t sure where everything was.” You shook your head. 

“No it’s fine I’ll make the toast. Do you still like honey on it?” Seungmin’s heart fluttered. 

“You remember that? I haven’t had honey on my toast in I don’t know how long...”  

“Oh okay I won-” He stopped you. 

“No no! Please put some on.” You smiled a little and made the toast, drizzling a little honey on Seungmin’s and yours. You both sat at the kitchen table across from each other sipping coffee and eating your toast in silence. After a minute you couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Seungmin...” He nodded; he knew. 

“Okay yea so last night you text messaged me after you ran into Robby Hobbs.” That part started coming back to you. 

“Oh my god yea! He’s Andy Cope!” Seungmin nodded.  

“Yea I know, one of my baseball buddies had told me when we were kids but Robby had moved away already and I just forgot.” Then you remembered what Robby said he told Seungmin. 

“Min... I... I didn’t write that note. Why on earth would you believe such a thing? You were my best friend. Why didn’t you just tell me?” Seungmin looked down at his cup of coffee. “ He shrugged 

“It looked like your handwriting and it was easier for me to believe that at the time than it was to believe you cared about me. Robby threatened me also but after he left, I was just a hurt kid that took it out on the one person that meant the most to me. I’m sorry for everything I ever did to you y/n. I am.” You reached across the table and squeezed his hand. 

“I’m sorry too. For not listening, for not giving you a chance to explain things. If I hadn’t been so pig headed...” Seungmin shook his head. 

“I’d done a lot to make you say no, I understand.” His other hand came to rest on top of yours. 

“Maybe we can start over?” Seungmin suggested and you smiled brightly. 

“I would love that.” After coffee and toast Seungmin decided it was probably time for him to leave. You walked him to the door and just before he went to leave you kissed his cheek. 

“Thank you for getting me home safely.” He nodded. 

“Any time.” You spent the rest of the break from school getting to know each other again. You picked up where you’d left off like it had just been the day before. When break was over you traveled back to college together. School kept you both busy but you always made time for each other, whether that was a lunch, a dinner, coffee before class, you found time. 

Tonight you had a k drama night. The plan was to binge as many episodes as possible of your favorite show. You were well into the fourth or fifth episode that night. You were tucked up under Seungmin’s arm your legs stretched out on the couch. You started looking up at him out of the corner of your eye, when he noticed he smiled and then looked down at you. You didn’t even care that you were caught staring, he was so beautiful and you loved him so much. He leaned down kissing you and you crawled up onto his lap, straddling him as you opened your mouth and deepened the kiss. Seungmin’s hands rested on your hips and yours were threaded through his hair as you made out, grinding against each other. You broke away panting, needing to take a breath. Seungmin pressed his forehead against yours as he caught his breath as well. 

“Will you stay tonight?” He looked at you, his thumb tracing the apple of your cheek. 

“You’re sure?” You nodded biting at your lips. 

“I am. I want you to stay, please?” You pecked his lips once, twice, three times and he shook his head. 

“Let’s go to bed baby.” You crawled off Seungmin’s lap and he clicked the tv off as you both walked towards your bedroom. You shut and locked your door and suddenly Seungmin was right behind you, arms wrapped around you, his face buried in your hair. 

“Afraid your parents might catch us?” You giggled and shook your head as you spun around in his arms. He kissed you and you started to back him towards your bed. He pulled his shirt off and then yours and you both took in the other’s bare skin. 

“Fuck you’re beautiful.” He managed to finally get out before crashing his lips into yours again. Seungmin crawled back on your bed and you climbed on top of him straddling his lap. You sat up and unhooked your bra tossing it aside. When Seungmin saw your bare breasts, his hands slid up your body to cup them and pinch your nipples. You let out a breathy little moan. You couldn’t take it anymore, you needed him. You got off him long enough to get your pants and panties off. You unbuttoned and pulled at his pants, he lifted his hips helping you get them and his underwear off. You climbed on top of him again and lined his tip up with your aching sex. The moan that came out of Seungmin as you slid down his cock was sinful. When he was fully inside you, you leaned over and kissed him then rolled your hips. 

“You feel so good Minnie.” You whispered against his lips and he nodded taking a couple deep breaths. 

“God so do you baby, you feel fucking amazing!” You sat up and braced yourself on Seungmin's chest. He gripped your hips again and you started riding him slowly. 

“Yes just like that baby, so good.” You rolled your hips against his. Seungmin started rocking your hips back and fourth faster, your clit pressing and rubbing against his pubic muscle. Your legs started shaking, you could feel your orgasm building.  

“S-Seungmin! I’m... I’m so c-close.” He moaned and kept you moving against him. 

“Cum for me y/n! Let me see that pretty face you make when you lose yourself.” The combination of his cock being buried deep inside you and the stimulation to your clit sent you on a round trip to an oasis of pleasure. Your whole body felt like it was vibrating. When you came back down, you leaned down and kissed Seungmin, soft lips slotted against the others. Seungmin sat up with you still in his lap holding your face and devouring your lips. 

“Bend over for me baby.” You crawled off of his lap, grabbed the headboard and bent over. Seungmin knelt behind you, gripped your ass and pushed his cock deep inside you again. He started a steady pace snapping his hips against your ass. 

“Deeper Min deeper!” He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you up, your back flush with his chest. One hand gripping a breast and the other teasing your clit as he grinded into you deep and hard. Your arms reaching back and wrapping around his head, your hands tugging at his hair. You could feel the mercury rising again. Your sweaty bodies pressed together, gripping each other as you teetered towards mind shattering bliss. 

“God you feel perfect, made for me beautiful, cum with me baby.” He thrusted deep inside you again and you went ridged, your back arching as you came again, hard. 

“Yesyesyes oh god...” A soft moan left Seungmin as he wrapped his arms around you tightly and came deep inside you, you were still braced against the headboard, Seungmin resting against your body as his cock softened inside you. After a minute of catching your breath both of you laid down. You laid there with your head on Seungmin’s chest quietly basking in the body buzz after that amazing orgasm. 

“Do you want to have kids?” Seungmin’s question came out of nowhere. 

“I’m on the pill Minnie.” He realized how out of left field that must have seemed. 

“No I mean like one day, do you want to have kids one day?” You thought about a little piece of you and Seungmin running around wreaking havoc. 

“Yea I think I do.” He smiled and squeezed you tighter. 

“Me too... but... well... how will we explain our story?” You smiled up at him and pushed his hair away from his face. 

“Easy, we’ll tell them the truth...” Seungmin’s face scrunched up confused by what you meant. 

“The truth?” You nodded, kissed his lips and hummed. 

“MMhmm...that it turned out, the enemy of my enemy was my friend.” 

Please do not repost or translate any of my works. My blog and stories are NSFW and 18+ ONLY! Minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked!

[chibinightmares]

サッカリンの記憶 «🌸» Saccharine Memories

It's been a long four years you've spent with people who've become closer friends than you'd ever imagine.. enduring days that would eventually turn to half-forgotten moments you'd only recall in brief sparks.. then again, that's how your memory worked, wasn't it?

From the first day that started your freshman year to your very last senior year, you had stayed by their side and they did the same in return. From relieving past trauma and expressing emotions you didn't know you were capable of feeling anymore, you spent each of those hours within the confined bell schedule of that new school without worrying about feeling lonely.. but even that wasn't enough.

Having to be left behind to finish off your second-senior year while all those who you had come to care about graduated and moved on with their lives was.. beyond heartbreaking. It.. hell, some days you didn't feel like you even had a will to live what with your very future lasting on the 'what if' you could even pass all seven classes.. a feat that seemed very much impossible until the last two weeks of school. Of course, some of your friends knew you were apathetic about your own life but it felt like the weight of the world was crushing down on your chest when you turned in that assignment to the one class that had yet to be passing.. only to feel tears of joy form when you saw that high [F] standing at around 59% change to a very low [D] with 60%.

But none of those friends would mock you for having to stay a fifth year, instead, they encouraged and stayed by your side-- cheering for you on the sidelines when moments went south. From meeting up randomly during the halls, to spending days with one-another, hell, even managing to attend your final choir concert when your parent couldn't make it.. they were there the entire way through.

×══»•»☽♡☾»•»══×

𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹𝒷𝓎𝑒, 𝐼'𝓁𝓁 𝓃𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒜𝒽, 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝒶𝒻𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝒹𝓊𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃, 𝓂𝓎 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓈!

×══«•«☽♡☾«•«══×

It only hurts to have broken memories to remember them by as your freshman year did more than damage your already nonexistent self-confidence.. as you were forced to live with six-to-seven other strangers along with your parent. Enduring hardships that often made you want to suffocate when you were forced to keep silent almost all hours of the day.. having no privacy to yourself and constantly being reminded that.. "this wasn't how things were supposed to go".

It wasn't until the first week of your sophomore year did a light shine through the end of the tunnel in the form of a fire.. a fire that took out the swamp cooler on the roof. It wasn't even the end of the week when it happened but it was a blessing, no-- it was the best thing that could've happened to you during your time out in the desert.. granted you now lived in a motel with your parent and their fiance but at least it.. felt like 'home'. It was a home.

When your junior year passed around, it was a blur.. nothing really of note happened until your senior year.. but that was even more clouded.

Your second senior year is when everything came together.. although you were alone, you found temporary friends in underclassmen and others of the same graduating class-- and you even managed to get out of the motel and into a shared apartment! Things were finally looking up as you enlisted into the navy and soon enough had friends and family congratulating you.. it.. felt weird, to look forward to the future for the first time in a long while.

Graduation is in a few days and I.. don't know how to feel.. but I knew I had to write something when I found Seishun Photograph in my recommended videos again, having listened to the song a long time ago back in my.. sophomore year, is when I think I found it.. don't entirely remember. It's been a long five years but hey, I made it.

[blahhhh-dead]

Haha story time: TW! Venting about my shit life lmao :p

I was separated from my class for most of elementary school and given no recess at any time in the day. Instead I was told to redo the same page of long division over and over till I got it right while sitting beside the most disgusting dudes that are no doubt creeps now.

In middle school I went to a charter school that forced nationalism and conservative agendas. At that point I had a counselor but no one diagnosed me with anything because I "seemed fine". The teachers would disclose my medical history willy nilly and never made any real accommodations even though I tried to advocate for my quiet self at age 11.

I became extremely depressed and suffered with severe apathy and passive suicidal ideations choosing to stay in my bed and ignore hunger or anything else. I was the only one trying to help myself and felt extremely alone. I often wished I could go to sleep forever and imagine how cool the after life must be. Started maladaptive daydreaming to cope.

Once I heard a rumor about the school janitor that mind you WAS IN CHARGE OF THREE OF THE SCHOOL ELECTIVES. I asked the actual PRINCIPAL, she told me it was fake and made up. Not long after I left that janitor was arrested as a p3d0. Exactly what I'd heard from that rumor.

High-school I was only diagnosed with anxiety and OCD but nothing else. The school was too small to have so many kids making the halls packed and hard to navigate for the first time. The teachers didn't care and never knew what was happening so I was always confused.

I wore face masks to keep warm from cold weather and avoid being perceived only to be told I had to take them off and see my full face. Surprise surprise half a year later covid forced quarantine.

Several students were openly racist, homophobic and harassed girls but nothing was really done. Yet when I played my dumb anime game on my phone under my desk to cope with anxiety I was immediately found out and berated for it.

My anxiety was so bad I felt phsycal pain and struggled to sleep every single night before school. I was so exhausted I barely managed to retain any information or even stay awake most days.

The only female friend I ever had started telling rumors about me behind my back even though all I ever did was be nice and listen to her problems. My only long term friends at the time slowly drifted away then the moment they found a reason too they started an argument and I blocked them both.

I barely made it past freshman year. By the end I transferred to a home study school and segregated myself from everyone I had known at the time. I also started needing guidance medication because the phsycal discomfort from anxiety was had grown too strong and kept me magically spiraling all the time.

The charter school housed a teacher that deliberately sabotaged my autistic younger sister because she didn't seem autistic enough to actually need help. They kicked her out of the school and made my mother cry. I finally stopped maladaptive daydreaming at least.

Graduated with barely enough credits to get by and was on a few different pills to manage my anxiety and help me sleep, one of which made me hallucinate which is why I stopped trying to sleep normally.

All my life people thought I was fine because I made jokes, kept silent when in pain because I couldn't even fell it myself, and was singled out by teachers for no reason at all. After graduating I was diagnosed with ADHD and wouldn't you know it SEVERE anxiety as well as a mind set that made me spend too much energy trying to be careful and mindful of others and deny my own exhaustion and need for soothing.

I never smoked, never broke into places, never got into any fights, never harassed people, never dated, never even had a kiss or a proper crush, never partied or snuck out, I just existed. Never played catch with my dad, never had a sweet sixteen or quince, never had a best friends or even a real close friend, I just kept existing.

I'm gonna be 20 by the end of the year but I feel stuck in the age I was that freshman year. Yet at the same time I know I'm more emotionally mature then I was and smarter then the other small town idiots. I have close friends, I try and take care of myself but my body struggles from the left over effects of neglect, I take more medication and barely leave the house due to fear of other outside my home and safety net.

And yet I'm so much happier then I was before and even if it's slow I'm working to get better and love myself. To be the bright smiley person I pretended to be for decades

Man is so tire now -_-

once again shout out to the kids that were left behind in school, when the teachers failed us, treated us like burdens who couldn't do anything right cuz we had a pretty bad learning disability.

[angelicasgrotto]

Last First Day of School

Today I started my senior year in college... and for the first time in five years, I can say that it was an exciting first day.

Let's start from the beginning, I was a senior in high school when the COVID-19 pandemic made the world stop abruptly. My school wasn't particularly exciting, it was a mediocre bilingual christian institution that was more worried about girls looking at boys than the overall success of their students (lolz). The school didn't sponsor dances or any events that high school movies romanticized either. No homecomings. No proms. Nothing.

So we took it upon ourselves to organize a senior trip. The plan was to hop on a cruise and sail away to the Virgin Islands. We were also going to have our well-deserved prom night onboard... sigh.

All my high school dreams crashed against the pandemic truck, including the ones I had for college.

I was able to start my studies in my dream school but that kinda got cancelled out because I spent my freshman year stuck at home. The memories of all the Zoom meetings filled with black boxes and a professor losing hope in the education system is just too depressing. Oh! I also wasn't pursuing the degree I actually wanted. The cherry on top to an awful start of an experience that was supposed to be "The best four years of your life."

Anyways, I'm a bad bitch so I was able to turn it around and figure out what I wanted to do. Slowly but surely!

First, I transferred to another school (ik sad but hear me out) because they had a better online platform for their classes. However, that didn't really change the "you're stuck at home" problem. The universe had my back tho...

At the start of my sophomore year, I learned about the Disney College Program. At that point, the world was used to the pandemic and it felt a little bit more safe to travel since we had our shit together. So you bet that my ass hopped on a plane and started working for the Mouse the next semester. My program was supposed to last six months but that turned into a whole year... LISTEN! I KNOW! INSANE! I was offered a role in the Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser (rip disney shut her down) and had to extend my program to accept it. Disney was my first job and I couldn't imagine what other role could top this one. It was amazing and I made life-long friends.

Disney also helped me realize just how much I loved acting, theatre, and overall, the creative process! By the time my program ended instead of pursuing a career with the company, I decided to give another shot to my degree but this time my major had to be something I really wanted to do. Now, I'm excited to share that in 10 months I will officially have a Bachelor of Arts in Theatre!!!

For the last three years, I've been slowly working my way to have a foot in the entertainment industry. I've also met so many talented young artists. It's very scary and I still have no idea how my future is going to look like. All my past "first day of school" were just filled with so much anxiety and the thought of not being successful would eat me up every semester. But today...

On my last first day of school, I was able to see the seeds that I sowed are starting to grow. It was so exciting and bittersweet to greet all my classmates and professors again. I'm also very stoked for an upcoming project during this semester teehee...

I'm glad that this semester started on the right foot (and hopefully it ends like that as well :P). To a new academic year!

p.s. Congratulations to all the peeps who are also graduating this year!

[roman-cates]

Bryce settles himself on the bed. He doesn't wrap an arm around Roman, as much as he wants to. Better to leave him an easy way out if he wants. He does offer his hand, though. Roman takes it.

"My childhood was pretty good," Bryce starts slowly, "Jillian and I were almost like twins. Eleven months apart. We weren't rich, but my dad had a decent job. And he made time for both of us, somehow. He used to take me out shooting…" He shakes his head and tries to move on. This isn't really relevant. "He died when I was eleven… Life was rough for a while after that, but it calmed down. I started high school. I was a straight A student, with extracurriculars too. I wrestled, joined a shooting club…"

He pauses. That probably doesn't seem particularly important, but he wants Roman to know what he chose to give up.

"Anyway. I had a bright future. We both did. And then Jill got sick. She was fourteen, a freshman in high school, and they said she probably wouldn't live to graduate. And everything they could do for her was so expensive. I started working part-time, but it didn't really help that much. So I started selling drugs."

He's skipping a lot, with that sentence. The arguments with Jean, going behind his back to talk to Jean's family members in the business. The carefully structured case he made that someone as squeaky-clean as Bryce could even be useful. The amount of work he put in to hide it from his mother, as futile as that was.

"The week after I turned seventeen, my mother found out. She gave me a choice. Stop, or leave."

Roman inches a little closer, and Bryce gives up his noble intentions. He switches hands and puts his arm around Roman's shoulder.

"So I packed a bag and left. I dropped out of school, got involved in…the more violent parts of the drug business. I funneled money to Jill over the next several years, and spent time with her whenever I could." He sighs. Not enough time. Not enough money. "She graduated high school. Got engaged. I found a place that had a new treatment…"

Bryce glances at Roman. He's paying close attention, seemingly still interested. Not disgusted yet.

"She didn't want to fight with our mother to travel to try it. She was so exhausted by then." Unwittingly, his hand steals up to Roman's hair. "She died soon after that. I wasn't allowed at the funeral."

I don't have a son. Jill didn't have a brother. The heavy wooden door of the funeral home, slammed in his face.

Roman settles into bed next to Bryce as he begins his story. "My childhood was pretty good," Bryce starts slowly, "Jillian and I were almost like twins. Eleven months apart. We weren't rich, but my dad had a decent job. And he made time for both of us, somehow. He used to take me out shooting…" He shakes his head... "He died when I was eleven… Life was rough for a while after that, but it calmed down. I started high school. I was a straight A student, with extracurriculars too. I wrestled, joined a shooting club…"

Bryce pauses. Roman tries to remember every detail of what he says. It... sounds like Bryce really did have a pretty good start to life.

"Anyway. I had a bright future. We both did. And then Jill got sick. She was fourteen, a freshman in high school, and they said she probably wouldn't live to graduate." Roman... can't even begin to imagine how hard that must have been... He knows some of this already, but it's different to hear it all spelled out. "And everything they could do for her was so expensive. I started working part-time, but it didn't really help that much. So I started selling drugs. The week after I turned seventeen, my mother found out. She gave me a choice. Stop, or leave."

Wanting to maybe offer some comfort as the story gets... heavier... Roman inches a little closer, and Bryce puts his arm around Roman's shoulder. Roman leans in, resting his head against Bryce.

"So I packed a bag and left. I dropped out of school, got involved in…the more violent parts of the drug business. I funneled money to Jill over the next several years, and spent time with her whenever I could." He sighs. "She graduated high school. Got engaged. I found a place that had a new treatment…"

But... Roman already knows she didn't make it. It's not a surprise as Bryce continues.

"She didn't want to fight with our mother to travel to try it. She was so exhausted by then." Roman finds himself leaning into Bryce's hand in his hair. "She died soon after that. I wasn't allowed at the funeral."

Roman swallows. Tries to imagine what it would be like to not be allowed at his sibling's funeral. His eyelashes get a little wet... "I'm sorry..." he offers, a bit weakly, knowing that it won't make a difference...