#not quite in the normal context that you would think. at least not from my memory
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oh yeah also for people watching the edge of sleep who haven’t listened to the podcast, be aware that self harm is a not insignificant part of dave’s backstory and is also used as a method to keep the characters awake.
#not quite in the normal context that you would think. at least not from my memory#i’m only 2 episodes in so idk how they transfer it to a visual medium but judt a heads up#the edge of sleep#dave torres#teos#markiplier#not gonna put spoiler tags on this because i think that kinda defeats the point
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No, That’s Not ‘How Color Works’. - Whitewashing
Whitewashing, as defined by Merriam-Webster:
"to alter (something) in a way that favors, features, or caters to white people: such as a) to portray (the past) in a way that increases the prominence, relevance, or impact of white people and minimizes or misrepresents that of nonwhite people and B) to alter (an original story) by casting a white performer in a role based on a nonwhite person or fictional character"
In fandom context, we know it to include:
Making someone’s skin lighter
Making someone’s hair a thinner texture
Changing someone’s nose to be thinner
Shrinking their lips
Changing the character in their entirety to be someone else
The Normalization of Whitewashing
Remember how I mentioned last lesson that despite the nature of poorly drawn Black characters, most audiences are not turned off enough to discourage the action in professional works? Similar idea with whitewashing. Not the same- unlike the Ambiguously Brown Character, which claims to have plausible deniability, overt whitewashing is usually enough to make fans speak up! But that’s the key word here- overt! It has to be “bad enough” to make enough people speak up, but as we’ve seen many a time, “bad enough” seems to have a much higher threshold for nonblack viewership (sometimes the limit doesn’t exist!)
Some visual examples
This is a link to my personal thread on a Netflix show I was watching- Worst Ex Ever. Now, while the show itself was quite enlightening, there was something I could not get over. I thought I was going crazy. And that was that no matter how dark the person of color would be in real life, the animated portions would draw this light pinkish-brown. Every. Single. Time. It's like they couldn't fathom scrolling down the color wheel. And this is a Netflix original! Netflix has plenty of money for someone to have caught this in creation. But... it was produced. And put out. And they're making more of it.
I asked all of the Dragon Age fans about the series, and uh… I didn’t know things were this bad, guys! Apparently this is a man of color, but it doesn't seem like the creators want you to know that 🤣. Jokes aside, as I’ve discussed before, the noticeable whitewashing- and that was one of many racist things I was told- was not enough to prevent sales... so why would they stop? I can only hope this new game, with all the updates, is enough to turn the tide. But the series has gone on for a while now, that if they’d chosen to do ye same olde… there clearly would not be a lack of financial support to prevent it.
Colorism as a Tool
Even when actors of color are cast, colorism often plays a role in normalizing whitewashing to audiences, even to Black audiences! People think “oh well at least they’re Black!” as if that is the only important part. It is not.
While Aaron Pierre, the actor cast for John Stewart of Green Lantern fame, is a GORGEOUS, STUNNING man, he is not the dark-skinned man that John Stewart is supposed to be and should not have been cast! To me, this is overt colorism, but clearly for many people this is not “enough” to warrant concern or even prevent the casting itself- including the studio behind the movie! Black fans have plead for years for the character of Storm to be played by a dark-skinned, preferably African, woman, and it has never happened.
It naturally happens in fan spaces as well, which is another indicator that colorism as a tool for whitewashing is quite effective for audiences. If I see one more Zendaya fan cast for Kida from Atlantis, I will scream. It’s been happening for years, and I don’t think any of the people who just want to see her and Tom on screen either understand or care that Kida is a dark-skinned character. Zendaya doesn’t look anything like Kida- it doesn’t matter if she’s Black too! Just because someone is Black does not mean they can play every single Black character! I’ve even seen people fancast Emilia Clarke of Game of Thrones fame, to which… I don’t have the words. I can’t fathom what would cause these decisions other than racism.
The Common Excuses
I must be honest. I don’t really feel like re-iterating how certain things are not okay and how to fix them, because I’ve already discussed these things in massive detail. So I’m just going to direct the excuses I regularly hear to my lessons, where you can read up on them.
“Their hair/eyes are like that because they’re biracial so-”
Relevant Lessons: 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 8, 9, 10
There is nothing wrong with having biracial characters with a range of features. I am not saying that! Because yeah, genetics do happen!
But I mentioned this in my last lesson, and I will re-emphasize here, that using biracial identity as a way to whitewash is a sinister form of racism. The intention here- the real intention- is the issue here! The idea that somehow this character can only look the way you want them to look by "diluting" their Blackness… I don’t know how you can explain yourselves out of that one.
You don’t get to use us as an excuse for diversity while still trying to maintain your preference for Eurocentric beauty standards. Black biracial people don’t always look light skinned, thin-haired and ambiguous, and even the ones that do don’t deserve to be treated as your fetish for pretend antiracism. If you just want to draw a white person with a tan, do that. But don’t change a character’s entire look just so you can work in some whiteness. If you want to claim that canon Black character’s mother was white, then I guess they inherited some of her personality because their features should not change.
“It’s my style/It’s the color-”
Relevant Lessons: 3, 4, 10
I hate all excuses for whitewashing, but I’ve grown to despise, hate, abhor and loathe this one the most as I’ve become an artist. I wish there were stronger words to describe just how much I hate the “style” and “color” excuse.
Are style and use of color oft intertwined? Absolutely. I’m not saying they aren’t. But out of everything, there are two things I want artists to understand:
1. Style does not cancel out racism! No style forces you to choose ashy greys and to change peoples’ features. That’s you! If you look at something, and it looks offensive, you change the style. You grow as an artist!
2. “Everyone who is brown will look ashy so I just-” if you recognize that your Black characters look strange in comparison to your nonblack characters, then it’s time to try something else! I don’t understand this sudden need for “realism” when it comes to color and lighting, but not when it comes to hair, for example. No one cares about realism when giving every and all Black characters wavy tresses they probably wouldn’t have, but suddenly milquetoast watercolor attempts at brown and off-putting lighting is “how it works”. That’s not fair.
The color picker is an available tool! I use it often!
Dead giveaway of purposeful whitewashing: if someone gets the outfit color palette right via color picking, but the skin color is multiple shades lighter. That means they were looking at that character and chose not to proceed.
Dead giveaway of purposeful whitewashing: if the white characters in the show are completely correct in their palettes. Again, that means they cared enough to look at everyone else… and not the Black characters.
If you use the color picker and the color picked is… disrespectful, you do not have to use that! You can simply choose a better color that is still similar to the brown that ought to be depicted!
“It’s the lighting-”
Relevant Lessons: 4, 5
If your white characters do not shine like snow in the sunlight because of your lighting, then your lighting does not make your Black characters suddenly light tan.
If your Black characters look bad in your lighting of choice- for example, putting a very dark-skinned character in electric white lighting can be ghastly- try changing the intensity or the color of the lighting. DON’T change your character’s skin color!
I'm going to show you some pictures of South Sudanese model Nyakim Gatwech. Pay attention to the choices of light, color, and makeup.
Look how BEAUTIFUL she is! Look at the choices of intensity and color of light, and how they make her look different in each image.
Now look at this image in comparison:
In this image, whoever did her makeup and took this picture did not take into consideration her skin tone. She's also under this really intense lighting. This is an example of "increasing the lighting does NOT make an image "better"". She didn't need to have lighter skin or "more lighting" to look good. She needed BETTER lighting, lighting that worked with HER.
To see this as an example in drawn art, @dsm7 makes an excellent argument for proper lighting and color, why it is an issue to use it as an excuse, and how to solve that problem.
‼️DISCLAIMER FOR NEXT EXAMPLE‼️
Okay. I am about to show y’all a fan-created example from my personal experience. It is a TEACHING EXPERIENCE ONLY. I am not including the artist’s name in this image. It happened a couple years ago, and it’s over- they’ve chosen to be who they are despite me kindly confronting them about it. The only reason I’m including it at all is because I feel like it would be remiss to have such a clear-cut, multi-level example, and not teach with it. That said, no, I am not telling anyone to act out towards them. Again, that is not what I’m telling you to do. The last thing I need is a literal lynch mob of angry nonblack viewership for trying to teach you all, and y’all sitting there watching it happen to me. Every example of whitewashing is not going to be so obvious, but I hope you learn how to spot the examples in the art you see and share.
I'm obviously a Hades fan, particularly of Patroclus- despite my disdain for the lack of effort in his canon character design. So I've seen a lot of things. That said:
“Well it’s just MY design of them-”
Relevant Lessons: ALL
The sepia coloring did not do this. The lighting did not do this. The design is the exact same as the Hades version, even down to the shape of the hair curling in the back. The only thing that is different… is the man himself.
Y'all. Y'all! You CANNOT take a pre-existing Black character and say “oh well this is my design of them” …and the design is of a whole white person. Because if the rest of the fit is the same, and the only thing that changed is the Blackness… Racism. If you’re going to “make up your own design”, then do that!
“Blackwashing”
Speaking of: I’m sure someone edgy out there thinks they’re so smart as they retort to the screen: “but if that’s not okay, then why is Blackwashing okay?” To which I say- shut up. 😐
The “definition” by fandom: making a nonblack character Black, usually an anime character, but characters in general.
Funny enough, the actual definition in the dictionary (or closest to) is “to defame”, in contrast with whitewash (as in whitewashing history). Maybe racist fans ARE using it correctly when they say you’re blackwashing their characters, when they mean you’re making them “less likable because they’re Black now”. 🤔
Anyway: Blackwashing is not real for the same reason reverse racism is not real.
Me painting these characters brown is not going to take away from the fact that there are far more of you in media than there is of me. Me saying that I ‘headcanon a character as Black with 4C hair’ is not going to make the studio go “oh! Well they must be Black with 4C hair now!” Me saying “oh I think I’d like this character better if they were Black” as a beta tester (less overtly, obviously, because I’m not racist!) will never make a studio change that character. Black viewers have minimal value in comparison to the power of the white viewer’s dollar. I could draw white characters Black every single day of every single game media… and they would still produce majority white characters. There has not been centuries- if not millennia, when we consider Jesus Christ himself, even- of purposeful “Blackwashing” with the intent of removing the original ethnicity- and thus importance- of white people. No one has ever been allowed to forget when someone is white. No one has ever been allowed to forget or not acknowledge white people.
How it could be "solved"
Personally, I love Black edits and I welcome them here. I find them creative and fun. But if you really, REALLY didn’t want us to make those edits, then naturally, we need more Black characters in all of our media!
I wouldn’t have to make edits if I saw more of me to begin with in the things I like to watch- but when we have those characters, racists act an ass about them. We’re not allowed to even be present! I’ve seen too many gamer bros mocking the existence of Yasuke in Assassin’s Creed, and he was a real ass man. But if we made a game about African peoples in African societies, how many of the gamer bros would actually play those games? Do you think there’d be as much support, when we hear so much about Black characters that are treated so abhorrently? How many games do we have where people would love their faves just as much if they were Black? I even learned that Solas was apparently supposed to be a man of color. IMAGINE how many people would not have liked that man, with the same exact plot and characterization.
Something I’ve noticed recently: apparently "Blackwashing" is not a thing when White fans “allow” it. Take this recent trend with Miku. International Miku was beloved! But if you draw any other character as Black on any other day, there will be people that are horrid about it. Ask any artist, Black artists and Black cosplayers especially, who’s ever done it what their comments are like. I’ve read entire missives akin to white supremacist drivel on how it’s somehow morally wrong to make characters Black. Meanwhile no amount of “hey maybe you shouldn’t do this” prevented the movie Gods of Egypt from being created, with a cast full of British White people.
Solutions to Avoiding Whitewashing!
1) Using References!!
Do I think you should know what Black people look like? Yes. We’re humans. It’s 2024. Everyone knows what we look like when it’s time to hate and discriminate against us, so you know what we look like when it’s time to love and depict us. If you’re on Tumblr, you have access to the Internet. ESPECIALLY if you’re in the U.S., as Black people are the source of damn near every piece of online pop culture. If you can find my dialect to make my jokes, you can find pictures of me.
Would I rather you use a reference every single time so that you can only strengthen your depiction of my people? ABSOLUTELY.
Anyone on the Internet telling you not to use a reference or that you shouldn’t need a reference? Unfollow them. You don’t need that negativity in your life. Why would you deprive yourself of a tool to create? The greatest portrait painters in history had to look at their subjects! You are not getting paid nearly as much to do this as Hans Holbein, and he had to stare at Henry VIII correct else lose his head- you can pull up multiple references. I’d far rather be judged for using hella references than be judged for being a racist!
Part of the issue is people draw what they’re used to, what they’re comfortable with (thus last lesson). But if what you’re used to is not what someone will look like… That’s not okay. Their features are not the issue, your skills are the issue. Learn! Practice! There is no rush. No one is rushing you to be perfect at drawing Black characters, and no one is rushing you to post them. You can just practice! If you’re not a professional, you can take as long as you need to draw! If you need to draw that piece of hair over and over until you feel like you have down the shape, you do that! If you need to use a tool that would draw the hair for you, you get that tool!
If you want to post, you can say you are practicing! If you make clear you are practicing, then be willing to accept that people may have feedback. I’d far rather deal with someone saying they’re unconfident and practicing, than someone posting a whitewashed caricature and closing their ears because “well at least I’m trying!”
2) Empathize! Care about actual Black people when you create a Black character!
Imagine, if you will, in the Twilight Zone: you went to an artist, and you asked for a white character (I typed in “regular looking white dude” on google). There’s hardly ever any white characters, you’re so super excited about this one! You paid good money, because you’ve seen just how amazing this artist creates! They’re so good at drawing characters of color! But no matter how many times you ask, they send you back an image of… Assad Zaman.
That man might be fine as hell! Gorgeous! Beautifully done! Chef’s kiss. Stunning! But… He’s not white. That’s not what you asked or paid for. You can’t even fathom how they mixed this up, they don’t even look alike! And when you confront them, they gaslight you, they call YOU the issue for not understanding how you can’t tell that this is a white man! They would never get this wrong! They have white friends, you’re the racist! But you’re not stupid, and you have functioning eyes- you can SEE what this drawing looks like! And… It’s not you.
It’s dehumanizing. It’s being told that there’s a “better way” to look like you, and that’s by… Not looking like you. You, as you exist, are what’s incorrect. Your identity is incorrect, not their drawing. It’s better to have thinner hair instead of an afro or locs, it’s better to have lighter skin, it’s better to have a straighter, thinner nose over a round one, and smaller lips.
And what makes it worse is knowing that people who don’t look like you? Probably won’t care. They won’t be willing to see- not unable, but unwilling- that playing with this caricature is harmful, that they’re propagating harm by not acknowledging it. They’re letting you know that your humanity means less to them than the clout received with a whitewashed or half-assed Black character, and that people will applaud them for that ‘attempt at inclusion’. And people will applaud! They will be entertained by the mere performance! And that hurts.
I’m going to say this, and it’s awkward and I try not to say it directly on here, but… Having Black friends and/or being around actual, real life Black people would help. I can tell from some of the questions I receive that Black characters and their traits- especially things like our hair and our cultures- are being treated as… alien concepts. But even if, for whatever reason, you legitimately don’t know any Black people, you do not need to know us individually to care about our humanity as a whole! Even if you do not know we’re there, we are, and we could possibly see your work!
By acknowledging Blackness and making room to understand what it means- and that includes how we can look- you are doing the bare minimum of acknowledging our personhood. If you cannot do even that, you don’t need to be drawing us.
Conclusion
Here’s the thing: if you want to draw a white man with tanned skin, do that. Just do it! You do NOT have to erase me to have more of you! There is not a single fandom where the majority of the white fans ever said “gee, not another white guy!” It simply doesn’t happen. God knows we wish it did sometimes. You will always have an audience for white characters. There’s no danger to any of you of “being erased”.
(Without putting on my political hat, I will say that a lot of white people who consider themselves to be far from white supremacist will express beliefs in line with great replacement theory if you push them hard enough. It is unfortunately not as uncommon an idea as you might think. I would do some self-evaluation.)
People are going to notice that you only ever draw white people, but… To be frank, that has never stopped anybody from being successful. Again, Jen Zee, at Supergiant with the terrible dark-skinned characters… Still has a job. at Supergiant. A professional studio. Dragon Age. Multiple games of consistent whitewashing and racist writing. Still going. If racism prevented creation and popularity, I wouldn’t have to have this blog. Alas, that is the society we currently live in.
But if you ACTUALLY want to depict Black characters, if you ACTUALLY want to do right and be respectful- not because you want the clout, but because it’s the right damn thing to do- then you need to commit! This means drawing them as they are meant to be! Accept that you’ll likely lose some fan base, who was there (whether they were aware of it or not) for the white and lighter skinned characters. Accept that this means that trying to appeal to those people by whitewashing characters is 1) wrong, 2) racist, which is 3) something you chose to do when you could simply have just… Drawn more white people.
I’ll say it again: antiracism is hard. It’s hard doing the right thing in a society that rewards racism so easily. It’s really hard knowing that people will stop supporting you or caring as much about your work when you start including Black characters as actively as you do white ones, especially if you start talking about the importance of it. But in my honest opinion, I’d far rather be someone that cared about others, with genuine fans, than someone that was racist for the fleeting internet clout of strangers. And that may be less ‘hopeful’ than I normally am in these lessons, but… People make choices. And people who have been informed- as you are now- are aware of the choices they are making. It’s the thought that counts, but the action that delivers- let’s choose better actions.
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Vlad Masters has died.
Or at the very least, that is what the upper class was lead to believe. Could you blame them? His death was wildly convincing, and the thing was.
No one knew who would inherit Vladco and his fortune.
As far as they knew, Masters never had any heirs to speak of at all. Not even an illegitimate child, or a foster care. He doesn't even have relatives that the fortune and company could go to.
So, safe to say, they were quite looking forwards to what would happen to the company. Would it sink, or stay afloat?
Now, normally, Damian wouldn't have cared a single bit about what would happen. But seeing as he is forced to go to an event held at the very dead Vlad Masters' mansion, he thinks he should have the right to see what'll happen.
The company's various stockholders were all gathered together, as well as Lex Luthor and other rich upper-class individuals. He knows that Vlad and Lex didn't like each other very well, so he thinks that Lex Luthor may or may not be backing the biggest current stockholder so that he'll have a say in the man's company when they take over.
Honestly, the event was pretty boring. He thought there would be... more, happening. Considering the context of this event.
So, he leaves. He's really just exploring to stave off his boredom, but if he found Vlad Masters' secrets before his death, well. Might as well, really.
He comes upon a room filled wall to wall with merchandise that screamed Masters was a packers fan before his death. Quite the large one at that as well. He picked up one item just to take a look at it, it wasn't something he was too interested in, but it was sort of impressive.
He turned when he heard the door open behind him, and saw a girl that was probably around his age staring at him with concern.
The thing is, she wasn't dressed like a guest. Or even a maid. She was dressed like a poor person.
So obviously he thought she was breaking in to find things to steal and sell off.
"I'm telling dad you tried stealing his packers merch." And with that, the girl was off, and Damian found himself running after her.
Why?
Boredom.
But also, father? He genuinely considers who she was talking about, clearly it couldn't have been anyone participating in the event, so was he also another thief that wanted to steal from Masters?
What sort of thief reveals they have another roaming around where they're stealing from? And their blood relation at that?
He realized that they were running towards where all the guests were gathered, and Damian thought that this girl was either lost, or genuinely didn't know what she was doing.
"Dad! Some kid is trying to steal your merchandise!" Said the girl, slamming open the doors and causing the attention of everyone present to fall directly on her as she paused.
Damian couldn't see it, but he thinks she's quite stupefied in that moment, paused on her pause. It was completely, and utterly quiet for a moment as the guests stared at her, and she stared back.
However, the next moment. The very detailed coffin laying in the center of the room suddenly swung itself open with a great pillar of green fire that reached the ceiling, causing his attention to switch over to it.
He saw lines on the floor around the coffin, lines that he previously ignored as some kind of design choice.
Lines that were filled with a liquid none to dissimilar to Lazarous Water.
A hand reached out of the coffin. "WHO DARES TO TOUCH MY PRECIOUS MERCHANDISE!?" And from beyond the grave the previously dead now arisen body of Vlad Masters pulled himself out of his own coffin, with inhumane red eyes.
So. Damian came to two conclusions that night.
One, Vlad Masters may or may not have had ties with the League of Assassins in some way, leading to his now ressurection.
Two, Vlad Masters has a daughter that was extremely well hidden from basically everyone present at the gathering and, maybe even the world at large.
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ateez's favourite petnames for you
requested by anon. genre. hc, fluff. rating. sfw. warnings. petnames (duh), some are more feminine leaning. wc. 734.
lilo's notes. i'm soso sorry this took me so long to get out T-T
masterlist.
hongjoong
darling. the thought of him using that as a pet name makes me go awooga. idk i feel like it would just sound good in his voice, yk? he can be a tease sometimes too, and i feel like this one has the potential to convey his teasing perfectly while still being cute n stuff. like, he's whispering to you, hugging you from behind in the kitchen as you prepare food or something. or he's entering the house, calling out a soft "darling, i'm home!" AHHHH.
honourable mention: love.
seonghwa
angel. PLEASEEEEE idk it just suits him so well. personally i find the thought of any demon line member using this pet name extra scrumptious, but it's something about seonghwa that just does it for me. he has a gentle and warm voice. waking up to him gently nudging your shoulder, needing to leave early in the morning but not wanting to go without telling you, a soft chuckle as you look up at him in confusion, “sleep well, angel?”
honourable mention: bun/bunny.
yunho
tiny. size difference matters quite a bit to him in a relationship, and he loves pointing it out every chance he gets. he’d say this in a more teasing context, when he’s messing around with you or trying to get you to smile—which is all the time, probably. admiring your face late at night, tangled in each other’s limbs in bed, tired but not wanting to fall asleep just yet as he brushes his fingers against your jawline, “you’re so pretty like this, tiny.”
honourable mention: princess.
yeosang
sweetie/sweetheart. he’s a simple guy, really. anything that makes you smile makes him smile. and seeing the way you grinned the first time he called you that—a simple “hey, sweetie, could you come for a second?” that had you giggling and skipping over to him happily—well, it made him never want to stop calling you sweetie or sweetheart, to say the least.
honourable mention: precious.
san
babe. he would so call his s/o babe i can literally hear it idc argue with the wall. normally i’d convulse (negative) if a man called me babe unironically, but shit he can do that all he wants. anyways. he knows you love it when he calls you any sweet pet name, but his personal favourite is this one. it’s so simple, rolls off his tongue so easily. he’d say it so easily too, calling you and saying something along the lines of, “hey, babe, have you eaten yet? i wanna try this new place i found.” YUPPP
honourable mention: my love.
mingi
doll. i’m a mingi calling you doll enthusiast until the day i die. in every fic i’ve written about his he calls mc doll at least once and that’s exactly how it should be. moving on, i just think he would really love calling you that because it elicits the cutest reaction each time; shyly averted eyes, flushed cheeks. sometimes he likes to throw in a little ‘dolly’ to switch things up a bit, to catch you off guard.
honourable mention: (my) pretty/sweet girl.
wooyoung
babydoll. biggest tease of the century, he definitely has a whole arsenal of cheesy pet names to call you when he wants to be particularly annoying (e.g. “aw what are you pouting for, snookums?” “you’re the best, cupcake!” “my my, you are the apple of my eye,” etc.). but on the rare occasions where he’s not playing around, he likes any variation of baby, particularly babydoll. perhaps his adoration for the name was ignited when he first listened to babydoll by dominic fike, and saw how many times you replayed it, but who knows?
honourable mention: jagi (자기 — honey).
jongho
honey. i call this a double entendre. he doesn’t really use pet names much, but he likes this one because 1. it’s cute, it suits you almost as your actual name. this is a name a husband would use and he’s so husband coded it hurts me. and 2. he really is just a silly guy—and considering he’s often described as a bear, well, then it’s quite self explanatory. massaging your shoulders as he stands behind you, sat on the couch and groaning into your hands after a stressful day at work, his voice low and reassuring, “you always do so well, honey, please don’t worry your pretty little head over it more.”
honourable mention: dear.
networks. @cromernet @cultofdionysusnet @wonderlandnet @atzhouse
permanent taglist. @ad0rechuu @sankatchu @mlink64 @yeosangsbb @seonghwasbbgirl
@likexaxdaydream @dreamingofyeo @yalyallic @yunhoswrldddd
@coffee-addict-kitten @thunderous-wolf @chngbnwf @okdudeiime @jjoongstar
#cromernet#wonderlandnet#cultofdionysusnet#pirateeznet#atzhouse#ateez x reader#ateez#hongjoong x reader#seonghwa x reader#yunho x reader#yeosang x reader#choi san x reader#mingi x reader#wooyoung x reader#jongho x reader#ateez fluff#ateez headcanons#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#ateez fic
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after sitting with my thoughts about the epilogue for some time, I think the thing that broke the story had started right after Dabi's dance. said thing is LOV' utterly out of character treatment of each other and Shigaraki specifically.
them just standing there and passively observing the scene makes absolutely zero sense, if you use anything from their previously established relationships within the organisation for reference. especially with All for One's creepy comments. Spinner even points out shortly before this chapter that AFO!Shigaraki seems nothing like his normal self and this person is not the one he had chosen to follow.
and yes, Spinner does approach screaming Shigaraki and tries to help him, and his concern later leads him to seeing Shigaraki's mutated form in the cave, and on its own this development for Spinner is in line with his character and all around fine. pretty reminiscent of Toga and Twice, too.
(except Spinner is not allowed to really help Shigaraki in any way, unlike Toga was allowed to help Twice, and this entire thing between Shigaraki and Spinner only ends with Spinner's regrets and survivor's guilt instead of anything good or meaningful that isn't meaningless angst porn)
it isn't Spinner approaching Shigaraki that is the issue, it's the other's complete lack of action or even reaction besides appearing mildly disturbed. this is simply out of character for all of them, just judging by Twice's example who had similar breakdowns and wasn't plainly ignored by the others until his fit stops. this reaction makes even less sense, when you take into account the current state of the League. Twice had just been murdered by Hawks, the double agent who had infiltrated the League via Dabi, and Mister Compress had just sacrificed himself to give the League a chance for escape, and was sent to Tartarus immediately after his condition was no longer life threatening. Kurogiri is also being held captive by the heroes. there are only four of them left, with two dead and two captured. and none of them even mention the dead or the captured outside of the context of Kurogiri and his quirk.
this straight out makes no sense if you look back to the Overhaul arc and remember how far Shigaraki and the rest of them were willing to go to avenge Magne's death and Mr Compress' destroyed arm. this was important.
the event had motivated Shigaraki to be a better leader, because he had realized these people depend on him, and he won't let them be hurt under his protection. it had started the seed of self-doubt in Jin which would eventually grow to the desperation that allowed him to overcome the mental block against his quirk in the MVA arc, because he wanted to do everything he possibly could to help the League. it allowed him to make his clones despite the crippling trauma, because he saw Toga's hurt, bleeding body, and he didn't want her to die.
even fucking Giran, a broker whose very profession requires him to care about himself and his own well-being first and foremost, had sacrificed all of his fingers to prevent Redestro from getting his hands on the League. because he wants to protect them, to save them. and then we never actually see his mutilated hands or hear anything from him ever again.
and when Twice actually dies? all we get in response to that are two upset faces from Dabi and Toga's fury. that's it.
i really want to stress how out of character this barely-present reaction is, because Magne's example is right there and when Overhaul had killed her, the League knew each other for no longer than a month. this League has been together for at least half a year, had been through thick and thin together, had spent months on the run, homeless, having no one but each other to rely on, has defeated the Meta Liberation Army, quite literally, with the power of their friendship. they all cared enough about each other and Shigaraki specifically to stay with him during those months they had to fight Gigantomachia with barely any breaks for rest, still homeless, barely scraping by. it was imperative that they all survive through this together, especially for Shigaraki, who had went on this quest of getting stronger at least partly so that he would become a more reliable protector for the League. and when Twice falls victim to the hero who had murdered him in cold blood, because no one except for Dabi was there to save him, Shigaraki doesn't even get to react to Twice's death, and possibly never even learns about the fact.
on topic of Dabi, his reaction being exactly two frames of sad expressions and including the footage of Twice's murder into his broadcast, and ending immediately after that, also makes no sense. Dabi is someone who holds himself accountable and despite his declarations, cares about the League, it's the very reason he was keeping Hawks from the League and sprinted to Twice as soon as he realized Hawks' intentions with him, to protect him. Dabi's unsuccessful attempt to save Twice is another iteration of Overhaul, a combination of Shigaraki and Twice's roles in the tragedy. but unlike Shigaraki, who had steeled himself into taking care of his subordinates and becoming a responsible and strong leader, or Twice who had never forgotten about his role in the incident, Dabi just somehow forgets about the entire thing as soon as the first war is over. Toga is the one whom the narrative allows to actively react to Twice's death and express her grief. it makes sense that her reaction would be the strongest, as she was the closest with Twice, but why are two LOV members no longer allowed to care about the same incident at the same time? why aren't they allowed to protect each other anymore, when Giran, who is not even in the League, had made that sacrifice for them?
These are pretty small things, but it's these instances of Toga and Dabi preventing Machia from being injected with the sedative, protecting the League that are sorely missing in the second war.
and the biggest act of devotion and protection to the League, which was the last time we saw anything like this for them, Mister Compress' last moments with the League.
Mutilating his own body just to buy them five seconds to possibly escape. Because he loved the League, because he wanted all of them to be happy and achieve their dreams, to be free, and to live.
and in return for the favour, not only do they not come back for him like they did for Kurogiri (because his quirk is important for the plot, while Compress' isn't), but none of them mention Compress ever again. same with Twice (with the exception of Toga), same with Magne. from this point onwards, none of them are allowed by the plot to even care about the League of Villains. the interpersonal relationships between two individuals still shine through, occasionally, like Spinner's devotion to Shigaraki (and him alone), Dabi and Toga's pyromaniac trauma lane visit to her house and him giving her Twice's blood, Kurogiri reaching out to Shigaraki in the very end. but what about the League? ahd what about the dead members of the League, or Mister Compress?
somehow, at the point of the final war it boils down to the generalized conflict of heroes vs villains and the morality gymnastics involved in the concept. on its own, this would have been an okay development, if the examples the story was using to prove its point weren't people who had become very close friends and who had lost four people to this war against the heroes.
if the individual conflicts, like Toga's desperation to be acknowledged as human being deserving of affection, Dabi's familial abuse trauma and Shigaraki's lifelong manipulation by All for One not giving him any chance to be saved at all, were the finishing line of the villains' story development, why join them within the League at all? LOV is a separate concept functioning as a collective uniting all these villains, giving them a place to belong and people who give a fuck whether they live or die. except not anymore, because for some reason after the first war this concept is scratched completely.
so why not make them mere acquaintances who sometimes collaborate to bother the heroes together, if the bond between them got in the way of the story and wasn't the point of the story? why prove the depth of their bond with the Overhaul and My Villain Academia arcs? why make Shigaraki develop relationships and a sense of responsibility for these people at all, if in the very end his desire to save these people is denied by the author himself?
the previous arcs have spent a great deal of effort establishing that the villains are human too. they have human feelings, human desires and human relationships. so why is it that in the final arc their ability to experience human emotions towards each other is turned on and off manually by the author? at the very end even the author stops pretending like anything happening to the villains is evaluated on the scale of human experiences (unlike the heroes, whose injuries and deaths are talked about and mourned in great detail) and Kurogiri and Shigaraki are wiped out like plot inconveniences rather than important and well written characters.
honestly? it's ironically meta that the story ended up proving the very point it has spent 400 chapters arguing against.
#join me on my bnha ending hate campaign episode 2736#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha critical#bnha spoilers#league of villains#shigaraki tomura#shimura tenko#spinner#shuichi iguchi#mister compress#atsuhiro sako#kurogiri#toga himiko#dabi#todoroki touya#long post
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Your art reminded of how the Unholy Alliance update made me go from very on the vence about Narinder to biggest Narinder defender will die in the trenches for my wife /hj
Like personally, them finally giving us the reasoning behind the Bishops attack on Narinder beyond vague prophecy changed a lot of the context behind the situation
And while, yes, the intentions behind his actions of resurrecting followers and his opinion on his new find extreme popularity were left quite vague (and why I don't if someone still interprets Narinder as the one mainly/equally at fault). It still doesn't change how it was a betrayal out of the Bishops fear of a possible betrayal. He wasn't conquering and overtaking them, he wasn't actively starving them, they just feared that possibility that he would.
It gets even more fucked up when you remember that all the Bishops ran their faiths by gifting and blessings their followers with the opposite of their domains (food, heath, etc) so Narinder actions where probably completely normal thing to do as a god of death in his mind, like.
In my fucked up fantasies (aka my interpretations of the canon), Narinder was only truly in the wrong when they asked the Lamb to sacrifice themselves. But getting into even more personal headcanons territory, for him it was likely just the natural/necessary think to do. He's a god of death that gave this little mortal life so they could do his bitting (that included them doing their own sacrifices, depending on your own gameplay), them sacrificing themselves was likely a given for him. Probably didn't consider that the Lamb would mind it, like, sacrificing yourself for your god just another tuesday in the life of a follower of death aint I right
So in conclusion, narilamb before post-game was a classic case of doomed yaoi/hurt people hurt people. Narinder asked the sacrifice-survivor to be sacrificed once again and the Lamb betrayed the one who was betrayed in return (pun half-intended)
(Really sorry for the ramble, it's almost midnight in my country and your art plagued me with thoughts. Hope you at least liked reading my deranged screams, I mean, my interpretations of the story. If you didn't, again, Im truly sorry. But Im still interested in your own thoughts regardless, so yeah... feel free to share??? I don't know how to phrase that in a good way, again, its almost midnigh)
no truer words have been said
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Lando norris nsfw alphabet
A- Aftercare (what are they like after sex)
I feel as though it’s very dependent on his mood, sometimes it’s a little chaotic running around grabbing water and rushing to the shower, where other times is just soft pillow talk and cuddles.
B- Body part ( their favourite body part of theirs and their partner)
In my mind he favours his hands due to their size, maybe a little bit of a size kink. He enjoys the difference and perhaps how one can cover most of her throat, or how he could easily grasp both of his partner’s wrists together
While on his partner, we know he likes ass so I don’t know what you expected. However, I feel like he might also really like tits, but keeps it a secret because it’s considered “childish” by some (mainly in the uk). In a less sexual sense, I believe he’d really love his partner’s eyes, whether it be staring at them, or how you can tell so much emotion from them.
C- Cum (anything to do with cum)
I don’t know why I get the feeling that he cums a lot in one go. Anyway I think he’d like to pull out and cum on his partner, whether that be tits, thighs or stomach etc. But if can cum inside he definitely would, this would be a main factor in deciding the type of aftercare given.
D- Dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs)
He may or may not have jacked off to a normal voice note of his partner. The context wasn’t even sexual, he just missed hearing their voice and was very horny.
E- Experience (how experienced are they?)
Is it bad I don’t think he has that much experience? We don’t know about many ex girlfriends. But I think he likes to fuck a lot, so he would be very experienced in pleasuring just his partner after learning (being taught) what gets them off.
F- Favourite position
I think we can all agree he likes doggy, but not for the reasons as most men ((boys) bc a man would never!)) He really wants to be able to see his partner’s face and reactions to what he is doing, he likes the ego boost. Plus I think he likes spanking, not too hard in this specific position, just a few light taps and some groping.
But cowgirl gets an honourable mention, as mentioned above he does like tits so getting so stare at them really gets him off
G- Goofy (how serious are they in the moment?)
Very dependent on the lead up. There are times where sex just has inconvenient moments; struggling to take clothes off so that just leads him to resting his head on his partner’s shoulder, letting out a sigh then a little chuckle. Or maybe a time where he’s just hard, not for any specific reason and asks (begs) for his partner to get him off, and he’s all giddy about it, so it’s just laughs in between moans and groans. On the other hand, I think there are times where he’s very serious , mostly when sex is on the rougher side or post race. Maybe even on an anniversary or special occasion he’d try to be much more serious. But in general I don’t think he’d actually make a joke, or at least not on purpose.
H- Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes?)
I’ll be honest, I think it’s a little darker than the hair on his head. I don’t think lando is clean shaven (now that he actually has pubic hair), he tries to keep it quite short though, but sometimes he gets a bit busy and so neglects the length and doesn’t trim it. But I think he may refrain from blow jobs at this time and opts to fuck his partner’s tits instead. Separate thing, but, I think he also has Sunday everything showers on non-race weeks.
I- Intimacy ( how are they during the moment? Romantic? Pleasure driven?)
I think a mix of both as he’s a very horny man so sometimes he rushes for pleasure, yet other times he likes to be slow and passionate, making love not fucking. He would really like to take his time, traveling from room to room, spending lots of time feeling up his partner.
J- Jack off ( masturbation headcanon)
I think he masturbates a lot, a few times a week and I think it would be roughly at the same time of day as well. But he can’t just sit there, he needs material!! Whether that be just pics or short videos in his ‘my eyes only’. Again let me mention the voice notes, he does think it’s bit strange how much he liked it, and how quick he came. But he would much prefer phone calls where he’s limited to just his girlfriend’s voice. Almost teasing himself. And her
K- Kink (one or more of their kinks)
As mentioned above size and voice.
But he really likes control and being dominant. He knows that dominance isn’t just position. He knows how to dominate without putting in any of the physical work
Sensory deprivation- so blindfolds, mainly again as he really likes control (as said in some interview) and he knows not being able to see will heighten your other senses so he would talk/whisper a lot more and be more feather light with touches. This idea can also tie in with the only phone calls not face time
Impact play- again linked to dominance, I think of this of being very specific and planed out. It doesn’t happen just because he got hard 10 minutes ago, but this is specifically reserved for non-race weekends. Mainly trying new toys, whether it be a crop or any object. Maybe just his hands. I think a lot of this is exploring based; testing different areas like the very top of the thighs, instead of just the ass. He always makes notes (during the sex in his head, then after maybe in a book as that can’t get leaked) but this started with a lot of communication to prevent any real injuries, making sure to use a safe word system (I imagine the traffic light system as it fits best) and ensuring that he only hits fatty areas not where organs reside. He wants to play yet it must be safe or it isn’t fun.
Katoptronophilia- mirrors. I believe that he likes to make his girlfriend watch what he’s doing to her as well as see the pleasure he’s giving her. It’s like a power rush as well as a sense of accomplishment/ achievement.
L- Location (favourite place)
Definitely bedroom. This is mainly due to privacy, but I also think it’s because he’s not very tall, so perhaps his hips aren’t high enough for counter sex. I’m not sure though, I may have tested it ( for context when I’m on my tiptoes I’m almost his height and my hips were not above the kitchen counter.) but tables I think he’d like, as well as bending her over the sofa or in the bathroom sink in front of the mirror.
M- Motivation (what gets them going?)
I think most things would turn him on, but I think being challenged would give him motivation to put his girlfriend in her place. Also, just generally intimate/ domestic situations
N- No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Probably watersports etc but to be honest I don’t know with him. To me I think most people don’t really like that, or at least won’t say they do.
Electro stimulation- it just seems a bit too scary
O- Oral (preference on giving or receiving, skill)
He’s a man so will probably prefer receiving, but he would really enjoy eating his girlfriend out for a sense of pride. However, I feel as though you may have to teach him a little, like he knows what he’s supposed to do but may struggle with actual delivery, but he’s so willing to learn, all smiles. We should take into consideration that he is an athlete so his breath control will be amazing.
P- Pace (are they fast or slow? Rough or sensual?)
Not to be repetitive, but, it will depend on the situation. However, I believe he leans more on the rough side, I don’t have evidence but I stand with that opinion. Furthermore, he’s likes to be rough due to the power and trust it gives him.
But he usually isn’t particularly fast as he’s been informed (generally speaking on the internet) that women will say harder but a man would go faster and they wouldn’t like it. (I know that’s super generalised but he would definitely listen and do what would give her pleasure) he likes research and found some study that wearing socks can make women cum harder and immediately suggested it.
As mentioned before he likes to make love, so winter or summer breaks are reserved for kinky fucks and sensual love making. I rest my case
Q- Quickie (their opinions, how often etc)
He absolutely loves them. He gets horny very quickly and so would want a release as quick as possible. Also the convenience of his drivers room allows for quickies all the time, pre and post race. But if he’s at home he’ll want long and more passionate sex
R- Risk (will they experiment? Do they take risks?)
If it’s not a hard no he’ll probably try it at least once, but he also must worry about his career. Although he really wants to fuck publicly, he can’t take that risk
S- Stamina (how many rounds can they go for)
Again he’s an athlete so can go for long periods of time yet I don’t think he could cum more than twice in one go. He can definitely cum many times in the same day, but he needs a few hours break. But he will make the time he’s fucking his girlfriend as long as possible.
T- Toys (do they own any? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves)
He knows toys are his friend not his enemy (as told by the bathtub toys thing.) Anyway, I think he once bought a vibrator when he was single just because he saw some men talk about how amazing the orgasm felt and he would have really enjoyed it, but always cums way to fast for his liking, he wants to last longer than three minutes. He will definitely use toys on his partner, whether that be a dildo or vibrator of some kind. He also really wants to try hand cuffs but he feels as though he needs to build up to it, as such a physical restraint can be quite a mental strain; so he decides to try it with just paper first so she could very easily get out it she wanted to, then tried those silicone “cuffs” for the same reason. Then finally used metal ones with a lock. But he will always cuff her hands in front of her.
U- Unfair (how much do they like to tease)
I think verbally he teases A LOT. But physically not too much. He may deny the orgasm once or twice before letting her actually cum. But foreplay will be quite lengthy, he wants to slowly drag his hands along her thighs or only push his cock in 2 inches before pulling out fully.
V- Volume (how loud are they, what sounds do they make?)
I think he will always be making noise just not overly loud. Always groaning and moaning (thank you for the twitch streams) he can be completely quiet, except for heavy breathing, if he really needed to.
W- Wild card (a random headcanon)
I think, at some point, he bought one of those moulds to make your own dildo. Just the thought of his girlfriend fucking herself with a silicone version of his cock really gets him going. Along with those remote control vibrators. He would love them especially when she can’t be at a race and so he can make her cum when he’s on the other side of the world. (I didn’t know that was possible until the other day) it’s just so hot to him.
X- X-ray (how big are they?)
You know what they say about the skinny ones. He’s either very long and is relatively thin. Or average length but girthy as fuck. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t think his tip is pink/ red ish. I’m totally basing this off the colour of his lips. But you know. Just a thought.
Y- yearning (how high is their sex drive)
This man is so horny. 8 or 9/10
Z- Zzz (how quick do they fall asleep afterwards?)
I don’t think very quick, unless it’s been a super long session, but even then he’d make sure his girlfriend is situated before daring to fall asleep. He likes cuddles so expect to be in his arms for as long as possible.
If you have any other ideas/ headcanons please comment. I really want to see other people’s opinions.
#f1 x reader#f1 x reader smut#f1 smut#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris x fem!reader#lando norris x you#lando norris x reader smut#lando norris x y/n#lando norris smut#lando x reader#lando norizz#lando norris#LN:4#f1 fic#lando norris x female reader
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in ur bestfriend!felix series do you think farleigh cares for the reader even if it’s just a little bit? like we all know how he can be (#1 shit stirrer) but it really got me thinking!! i don’t think he cared much when she first started hanging out with felix he was probably like ‘whatever just another one of his charity cases’ but would that change later on when he sees how felix really does care for her and she’s not going anywhere anytime soon or ever possibly sorry for the long rant!! i was rereading and the one u wrote were he refused to let her get high because of felix made me think 😭🫶
a/n omg me and @ker0senebunny were just discussing their dynamic potential
farleigh and reader have such potential for an oddly endearing frenemy arch,, they definitely still bully each other, but they bond over gossiping and (lightly, at least in reader's case) judging others, especially after farleigh finally realizies that reader isn't another one of felix's phases
also can def see them growing a smidge protective of each other?? like if farleigh makes a mean joke about reader they laugh,, but if someone else makes it they both kind of side eye each other 😭
anyways here’s a drabble that also briefly features slightly flustered felix and socially unsure ollie
"Here." Farleigh's standing in front of your spot on the couch, arm stretched forward lazily. You blink, eyeing what looks like a joint skeptically.
Farleigh isn't quite looking at you as he continues to hold out his offering, but he isn't moving away. You extend a hand, taking it from him cautiously. Smoking tonight wasn't really a goal, but you're not exactly feeling against it.
You sit up a little straighter, mentally debating if his attempt at socializing with you is a result of the small scale setting of tonight's plans or if he's just that high. Maybe it's both. "Thought I was on weed probation."
He sighs. "Do you want it or not?"
You tilt your chin up to frown at him, "Moody."
Farleigh's eyes finally meet yours. His scleras are tinged pink, making his gaze seem far off and slightly irritated. You bring the joint to your lips out of the instinctual desire to seem amicable. Farleigh's far from your best friend, but recently, there's been an undertone of understanding in your catty comments. More like Farleigh laughing with you than at you.
He steps past your legs before sitting next to you. Not the weirdest thing that's ever happened to you, but still, strange. Normally, on more low key nights like this, when it's just some of Felix's closer friends hanging around in an off campus apartment instead of a full fledged rager, Farleigh's close to the center of the action. Maybe he's more bothered by Oliver's presence than you thought.
After a beat of silence, Farleigh explains flatly, "It's different tonight." You're not sure you're following, but there's a good chance that Farleigh's high enough for it not to matter. "You're not drunk and tonight's...calmer, there's nothing for Felix to worry himself sick over."
You roll your eyes. "Felix doesn't get worried sick over me." You take another hit of the joint, pretending the gesture doesn't feel performative. "And either way, it's not his issue."
Farleigh scoffs. "Please."
"Please what?"
He leans forward, propping his head up on one elbow. "Sometimes you seem so smart, it's nice to know that in some ways you're still like a little kid."
Not the worst backhanded compliment he's ever hit you with. "Mhm."
Farleigh lets himself slump against the couch before extending a hand in your direction. A silent request. You hand him back the joint. "Oh, you're cold? Take my jacket. You're thirsty? I've already gotten you a water. You're tired? Give me a minute to say goodbye to some friends and then I'll tuck you in, lovie."
The general teasing is easy to dismiss until he tacks on Felix's favorite nickname for you. It doesn't feel right to hear it in a negative context. "Leave him alone. Felix is my friend and he's nice." You tap your fingers against your knee, body feeling much too relaxed for the annoyance that wants to break through. "It's not weird or anything."
Farleigh takes his time letting more smoke fill his lungs. "Defensive." You roll your eyes. "Look around, every girl here wishes Felix was that friendly with them." His sentence is a hint too loud for you to be comfortable. The last thing you need is for some girl to take it the wrong way and blame you for it. "His new lapdog probably feels the same."
It takes you a second longer than it should to get the reference. You're not exactly close with Oliver. He's new, and Felix really enjoys his company, but you've yet to bond with him. Something in you just hasn't been able to get there yet. Sometimes you'll see what Felix sees in him, but that isn't the same as feeling close to him. You want to like him, though, so you're sure it's only a matter of time before you click over something. Felix and you spend too much time together for it not to work out between you and Oliver eventually.
"That's mean." You turn to better face Farleigh, your shoulder sinking against the seat's cushioning at an uncomfortable angle. "Like really mean."
Part of the defense is instinctual. You're not one to make fun of people behind their backs just to act like you're friends in front of them. But it's also more than that. Felix wouldn't let anyone talk about you like that, and without him or Oliver there to fight against Farleigh's snark, it feels wrong to let that kind of thing go.
"Fine. Better analogy. Sometimes the way Oliver looks at Felix feels like he wants to be his escort, or something."
You understand what Farleigh's getting at almost immediately. There's this urge to please quality about Oliver that you can't judge him for. People want Felix to like them. People want Felix to love them. It's not a draw you'd ever fault anyone for falling for. But something about the concept of an 'escort' in this context makes you want to laugh. You bite your tongue.
Farleigh holds out the joint again. You take it back instinctually, taking a quick hit to avoid having to say anything right away. "Yeah, but isn't that everyone with Felix?"
You're not sure what the goal of your response is. A poor attempt at changing the subject and steering the conversation away from making fun of someone with no one there to defend them without alienating Farleigh entirely. It's a joke, and not a very good one, but with the way you and Farleigh start cracking up, no one would ever be able to tell.
"We're..." You try through a fit of giggles, "We're awful."
"No," Farleigh shakes his head once lazily, "Not awful. We're familial bonding."
You squint at him as he plucks the joint from between your fingers. "We're not related."
Farleigh brings the joint to his lips, taking a deep inhale. "No," he mumbles, "I'm just getting ahead of the inevitable."
It takes you a beat longer than it should to understand his reference. "Farleigh." He's smiling slightly, the look smug. "Felix and I are just friends. You know that."
His head falls against the back of the couch. "Does anyone ever get along with their in-laws?"
You steal the joint from him before letting your back hit the cushioning. "Shut up."
With your body angled forward, you can see the center of the living room. Felix is near the entrance to the kitchen, Oliver by his side.
When Felix's eyes land on yours, he grins. You smile back before finally bringing the joint back to your lips. By the time you're exhaling, you can see Felix nudging Oliver's shoulder.
"Here we go," Farleigh sighs, taking back the joint.
You ignore the comment in favor of tracking Felix's path across the room. The world parts for him, as always.
"Hi." You beam, stretching a hand forward as soon as Felix is within reach. He grabs your hand immediately, squeezing your palm against his. "Felix, Oliver."
Oliver nods once at the acknowledgement, "Hey."
Felix tugs on your arm gently. "Lovie, where've you been?" His thumb brushes against your knuckles. "Been looking for you."
"I've been here," you admit, "I was waiting for you guys to get back with everyone's drinks and then Annabel wanted to sit...and then Farleigh."
Felix nods as if you've said is something of great importance. "Farleigh treating you okay?"
Farleigh tilts his head, halfheartedly glaring at Felix. You grin. "Yeah, we're just chatting."
"Chatting," he muses, looking between you and Farleigh. Before you can respond, Felix is moving to sit, taking up the last of the couch's remaining space. He looks up at Oliver, noting the lack of room for a fourth person. Felix squeezes our hand. "Sit with me?"
You nod, instantly understanding what he's getting at. You're sure Farleigh will hold you leaving your spot to give Oliver the opportunity to sit next to him against you, but there's not much else you can do, so you stand.
Felix is pulling you towards him before you can fully register the fact that you're standing. You frown, an attempt at a wordless scolding. He beams at you, the picture of affectionate innocence.
As soon as you're sitting on his lap, he's setting one hand on your knee and the other on your shoulder. Felix is always warm in the same way. There's a soothingness to it, a familiarity that you can always trust.
Oliver doesn't move until Felix's hand drifts away from your leg to pat the now open spot on the couch. Farleigh leans back slightly to make it easier to throw you a look that seems to say that Oliver's proving his earlier point.
You don't generally find Farleigh's snideness funny. You're not in the habit at laughing at his comments or behaving differently in hopes of winning him over. But, there's something about the solidarity of the look paired with your high. You laugh.
"What?" Felix asks, leaning forward to rest his chin against your shoulder.
You shake your head. "Nothing." A pinch of guilt nips at you. "I'm--I'm high."
"Could tell." Felix grins, dipping his head forward to press a kiss against the start of your back. "Farleigh's a terrible influence, hard to imagine what the two of you were up to before me and Ollie got here."
Maybe it's the lingering guilt, or maybe it's because Oliver's been almost completely silent since he got here and you know what it's like to be that person. You don't know what it is, but something makes you want to look over at Oliver. "Don't know, what do you think we were up to, Oliver?"
"Oh," he starts, tapping a finger against the edge of his solo cup as if something about your sudden attention startled him. "Up to no good, 'm sure."
You smile. Oliver and you may not be close, but at least he doesn't have an issue with carrying on a bit. Some of Felix's friends do. The first time Felix left you alone at one of these things, you made the mistake of making a joke in front of a girl who just stared at you.
"Little faith," you accuse with a shake of your head that indicates a disappointment your smile doesn't match.
"We were talking about inevitability."
Felix turns his head to look at Farleigh, "And what's inevitable?"
Your nails press into the skin of your leg. Some instinct tells you to beat Farleigh to the punch. "Oh, our wedding, apparently."
Felix tenses. "Wh--what?"
"To Farleigh," you clarify as quickly as possible, "I promise I'm not planning on proposing any time soon, so you can relax."
His hand finds your knee again. "Right," Felix sighs through a dry laugh, "Cause I--" Felix pauses, his forehead falling to your shoulder. "Farleigh...he'll say anything when high, it's..." He scoffs.
You turn your head with no warning. Felix's head slips off your shoulder. He pouts. "So the thought of being married to me is that bad?"
"No." He stretches out the vowel sound in an attempt to buy himself some time. "I--" He leans in closer, eyes flitting away from you and towards your lap. "I didn't--not like--"
You laugh. "I'm making fun of you, Lex." His skin is still slightly flushed, a pink tinge to his cheeks that's almost masked by the low lighting. "Y'can relax."
Felix's lips part in mock offense. "Lovie." He leans his head forward, hiding his face against the side of your neck.
You giggle, lifting a hand to brush your fingers through his hair. "I know, I'm mean."
"Very." He's quiet for a moment, head resting against you even though the angle can't be comfortable. "It wouldn't be bad." Felix whispers the sentence so quickly and quietly you almost feel like you've imagined them.
Before you can respond, Felix lifts his head slightly, setting his chin back on your shoulder. "Me and Ollie were talking about leaving early, watching that movie you rented." He squeezes your arm, the gesture warm. "If you want to."
"Yeah," you grin, "Sounds fun."
----
taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains
#bestfriend!felix#bestfriend!felix x reader#felix x reader#felix catton x reader#saltburn x reader#felix catton#jacob elordi#jacob elordi x reader
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*BITES YOUR ARM MAJESTICALLY*
summary: exactly what it sounds like (pranking the genshin boys)
feat. scaramouche, al haitham, diluc, itto, kaeya, xiao, venti
a/n: happs late april fools this one was written at like 3 am
warnings: reader being an anklebiter, crackfic (completely utter nonsense), innuendos (not rated for minors), fluff
➵ “…what the fuck?”
─ ✰ SCARAMOUCHE gives you the ultimate look of disgust as soon as he feels something nom his shoulder gently. immediately he pulls back, his face wrinkling in utter confusion. what just bit him? his expression relaxes for a split second when he sees it’s just you, but goes back to repulsion. did you even brush your teeth this morning? do you know where his clothes have been? you start laughing at him because you got his reaction all on camera, but he’ll have the last laugh when he takes the story out of context. oh well, now all the fatui thinks you have an oral kink 💀💀
─ ✰ AL HAITHAM pushes his reading glasses down, slightly lowering his book to see what shenanigans you’re up to now. his eyes raise, seeing you’re now attached to his lower leg, but aside from that, he has no reaction. he saw the camera that is, until he finally turns to you and says, “interesting. according to this book i’m reading, there is more bacteria and fungi living on your shoulder than walking barefoot through the forest.” while you gag and run to wash your mouth, he smirks and continues reading his cheesy romance novel.
➵ genuinely concerned
─ ✰ DILUC, unlike the first two, is genuinely concerned for you. are you feeling alright? did you hit your head somewhere? are you drunk? you do know where his jacket has been… right? is somebody forcing you to do this? he has so many questions, but all your response is in incomprehensible nonsense muffled against his sleeve that he can’t understand. “y/n, darling? are you all right? can you breathe in there? would you like me to call my nurse?”
─ ✰ ITTO is also extremely concerned but for the opposite reason as diluc. in his mind, there is only one reason why you are biting him, and the only one that makes sense. obviously, somehow you have turned into a zombie and are currently trying to infect him. oh, but you’ll have to try harder to defeat the one and oni arataki itto! he heroically grabs a pot from the kitchen and smacks it against your face, smirking proudly. he just saved himself and the rest of teyvat from a possible zombie invasion!
➵ makes a dirty joke out of it
─ ✰ KAEYA is barely even fazed by your antics. you’ve pranked him before, and he knows you’re trying to get a reaction out of him, but he simply won’t just give it to you :( he thinks it’s fun to tease you, and what better punishment than to fluster you himself? he makes it as embarrassing as possible so you just drop it.“oh, y/n, that’s quite a revealing spot for a hickey, shall i give you a matching one?” please smack him in the face because he’s only half joking 😞
─ ✰ CHILDE is far worse than kaeya on this matter, at least he has some common decency. unfortunately for you, childe does not. if you, for some reason, decide to do this around your friends, he can and will fucking moan 💀 if you’re alone, it’s more toned down, but still teasing enough to make you want to really sink your teeth down on him. “babe, this is kind of kinky… if you wanted to initiate something, you could’ve just told me~”
➵ bites you back
─ ✰ XIAO’S first reaction is a mix of ‘wtf’ and flusteredness. to be fair, he’s always flustered with you, but he’s also confused. what do you mean by this? ah, this must be another one of those silly human customs to express love, equivalent to hugging or kissing. he thinks he’s seen a man do this to woman once, and deems it a normal thing to do. so if you ever decide to do this, be warned that you’ll be met back with an equally majestic chomp of your own.
─ ✰ ITTO’S second instinct to that of the first one is that you’re trying to start a friendly competition with him. he assumes that this is a game, and the rules are probably like the punching bag game at the arcade. the harder you hit, the more points you get! while yes, he doesn’t mind losing to you, he’s not purposefully going to lose to you either. where’s the fun in that? while you give him a baby nom, he full on inhales your left shoulder <3
➵ runs away, trips over a rock and farts cutely
─ ✰ VENTI
do i need to elaborate or
©hawkssimpsblog 2023. do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works on any platform.
#reader insert#genshin x y/n#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin impact x y/n#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x you#scaramouche x y/n#scaramouche x you#scaramouche x reader#al haitham x reader#al haitham x y/n#al haitham x you#diluc x reader#diluc x y/n#diluc x you#itto x reader#itto x y/n#itto x you#kaeya x y/n#kaeya x you#kaeya x reader#xiao x y/n#xiao x you#xiao x reader#venti x reader#venti x y/n#venti x you#genshin fluff#genshin crack
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i added my thoughts to the takavoltti lyrical analysis here but today i want to talk about why i think takavoltti is one of käärijä's most finnish songs ever.
this got a bit long, so just so you know what to expect going in: what i mean by most finnish is that there are references and tone of voice that are very specific to finland, there is complex use of the finnish language AND there are melodic/musical choices in the song that sound very finnish to me.
okay, here goes.
the dialogue that opens the song is already a sort of key moment to this finnishness of it all. when he says "emmä tiedä, kolisee jos kolisee, mut mun on pakko sit koittaa vetää tosi matalalla" he is doing a bit of a voice but more than that, he is talking in a way that is not quite his. his inflection, the rhythm, those are not natural to him or his dialect. you can hear it particularly when he says "koittaa vetää tosi matalalla". i don't know if it's at all easy to hear if you're not finnish, but it's not.. a serious voice or tone. the other two voices, one of them is modified to be high and the other talks like a sports announcer. the whole scene is quite comedic and it's a very specific genre of comedy that is very finnish indeed. it's also the type of thing he has been doing since always. (EDIT: OKEI MORE CONTEXT IN A REBLOG HERE)
funnily enough, you guys know köpi kallio now, the therapist in skit and autiomaa video? yeah köpi and his long time partner in crime viki are good examples of this type of humour i would say. they have their own podcast/show called viki ja köpi show but before that they were radio hosts and have been working together for ten years. the character voices and the whole vibe of the scene in the beginning of the song is very viki ja köpi to me, very ylex type comedy (yes ylex the radio station who did the ruisrock interview who still isn't back from the war).
and the small comedy bits stay in there through out the song, and they continue to have the same delivery instantly recognisable as comedic.
and that isn't to say the subject matter can't be serious. i think, again, this is something that feels inherently finnish to me. other finnish people feel free to chime in because this is hard to explain, but our culture is one where coping through making light of things is quite normal. and our sense of humour tends to be on the darker side, at least if you compare it to the american style of comedy that has taken over globally. so to make a song about there being too many demands on you and how you have a problem with setting boundaries and agreeing to insane shit, but to do it by interjecting the song with jokes just idk.. it sits in our culture lmao.
i honestly don't know how to explain this better, but quite dark comedic elements like this (after all he gets properly fucked up in the stunts it seems) in a song with a serious subject matter is something we've been doing for decades in this country (juice leskinen, for example) and it is something so loved by finnish people. we love a song that is just fucked up on multiple levels. käärijä is just adding his own style to this cultural history.
okay, onto the language.
the verse opens with "tekevälle sattuu" which is a finnish proverb.
quick finnish lesson: the word sattua in finnish means both to hurt and to happen. the word tehdä means to do but tehdä kipeää means hurting. like.. now that i think about it tämä tekee kipeää = this is doing (me a) hurt is valid and correct finnish lmao.
tekevälle sattuu, the proverb, actually means "things happen to those who do" but he is playing with the different meanings here, because he goes on to say "ain sattuu ku tekee" which can both mean "things always happen when you do" or it can mean "it always hurts when you do". then he goes on to say "ku tekee, ku kipee, ni kipeetä tekee" which is once again playing with words, because kipee here means both pain but also being sick. "ku tekee, ku kipee" would translate as "when you do as if you're sick" and "kipeetä tekee" means that it hurts.
so to recap (i'm not trying to provide a smooth translation, but highlight his wordplay:
tekevälle sattuu = things/pain happen to those who do [things]
ain sattuu ku tekee = shit happens/you get hurt when you do [things]
ku tekee, ku kipee, ni kipeetä tekee = when you do [things] like you're sick [in the head], you get hurt
so this is all to say two things: he's using the finnish language in a very clever way that really only becomes clear if you know the language and all of these idioms and proverbs. and also that he is very good at what he does. it has taken me four paragraphs to explain 13 words.
and he doesn't even end there. "oon yllytyshullu, ain hulluksi yllyn" is more play on words. jesus, jere. okay guys, stay with me.
yllytyshullu i explained in my previous analysis, but recap: yllytys means incitement and hullu means crazy. yllytyshullu is someone who does crazy shit when prompted.
"ain hulluksi yllyn" here he is using the word yltyä which is the same root as yllytys, but yltyä means usually more like.. to intensify. (for example: sade yltyy = the rain is getting heavier, or tuuli yltyy = the wind is picking up)
so to say hulluksi yllyn, he's saying like.. i let myself be incited and/or i always take it to the max, to the point of crazy.
and then he uses very clever rhyming words: "ja tää hullunmylly on kylmempi kylpy". hullu means crazy, mylly means mill, hullunmylly is basically a hullabaloo.
as you can tell, all of this is like bordering on impossible to translate accurately into a smooth translation. and that's just the first verse, but i'd be here all night if i explained the whole entire song 😭
and this to me is a very clear sign that no matter what sort of an audience he has internationally, he's not compromising on his language. and i find that admirable and, as a finnish person, very comforting too. this song is sort of reassuring, like he is reinserting himself very firmly into finnish culture, with the language and the comedy that do not translate very well.
and if you look at the pre-chorus and chorus, the specific references keep coming: calling him kärtsä (finnish people have a lot of nicknames for him), "hyppää kybäst pommi" the slang use of kybä to mean ten meters, he mentions duudsonit (the dudesons) and he mentions jorvi hospital. all of these feel like he is signalling to a very finnish audience. (also "oon syypää sun hymyyn" could count as a cheek reference, cheek used to be like the biggest rapper in finland).
okay, time for melody and music speak. i only have one simple point here: melodically and musically speaking that has to be the most suomi iskelmä chorus i've heard from him. ever.
you could take that melody and insert it as the chorus to like any song on iskelmä radio. iskelmä is a finnish schlager music genre. kind of impossible to describe but something that finnish people will instantly recognise. the opening, with the piano synth could also open an iskelmä song.
very suomi, very iskelmä.
so.
all of this is why i think takavoltti is about as finnish as it gets. a suomi iskelmä about having serious issues with boundaries that uses clever finnish and paints a comedic picture of a banged up black-eyed käärijä who has dislocated his shoulder but is still showing thumbs up is like.. so much finnish condensed into three and a half minutes.
i know not everyone thinks the song is hilarious but i do. it's both hilarious and very serious and that's how we like it here.
and of course the fact that there is an "ai vittu" in there. we like that too.
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Good Omens: Lockdown and Crowley not mentioning his living situation in S2*
*till S2E6 when he asks if he can have his apartment back bc he's bored of living in his car but Aziraphale doesn’t hear bc mentally he’s in Alpha Centauri.
Having read the 'Crowley doesn't tell him' Neil Gaiman ask close to when I first listened to Lockdown (I lived under a rock until recently), my initial thought was HAS HE BEEN LIVING IN HIS CAR FOR YEARS?! but I think he was still in his apartment in 2020:
as far as Hell knows, Crowley just had a pool party in holy water (the holiest) so the higher-ups are probably willing to give him some space (plus Beelzebub is busy going on pub dates w Gabriel)
while there should be ~8 months between the end of Season 1 events (The Very First Day of the Rest of Their Lives on Sunday, Aug 25, 2019) and the Lockdown phonecall (on or near the 30 year anniversary on May 1, 2020), I can't imagine that's a very long time for Hell, especially if you're understaffed and busy dealing with fallout from Almostgeddon / going on pub dates
Shax dropping off mail and asking about the boiler seems like something one does in the first few months of living somewhere, not ~3 years in (if S2 is in 2023)
That said, I think the phone call underlines why Crowley never directly tells Aziraphale that he is living in the Bentley in S2, and it's just a great conversation (all hail Gaiman) sooo I wrote about it:
***Note: This post analyzes the Lockdown phonecall from Crowley's perspective only. Our heroine is feeling quite emotionally vulnerable at this point in time so things are going to hit him harder than they normally would.
I do not think Aziraphale meant to cause him pain (!!) but Crowley can't see that yet and I've written this post in a way that reflects that missing insight. (I explain in more detail in this reblog if you are interested) I am working on a companion post for Aziraphale's side of this conversation and how I think it affects his behavior in S2 because if we know anything about these two, it's that their exactlys are different exactlys.***
Crowley’s habit of sleeping to skip time like an RPG character by a campfire amuses me to no end, but in this context it feels heavy. Crowley already worries about losing time with what he loves and he probably hoped things would be different between him and Aziraphale after the events of S1. But things don’t change much. Then lockdowns start, and Crowley is trapped in his apartment alone, transcendentally bored, and unable to make his brain shut up. Sleeping a month away starts to sound less awful.
But Crowley hasn’t given up yet; he’s still awake when Aziraphale calls, and he’s even giving it two more days. Was he waiting for Aziraphale to call? Is it even possible not to at least kind of wait for someone’s call when you are cut off from everything and the caller has been your only friend and crush for millennia?
Aziraphale asks why Crowley isn't "out and about" tempting people or setting a bad example and he responds:
C: Everyone's so miserable and cooped up right now anyway, and I just… well… don't have the heart for it. A: *glowing audibly* I'm not miserable~ C: Really?
Crowley sounds genuinely surprised at Aziraphale's happiness and quickly assumes it's because the angel has been around people. He's so lonely/depressed/in his own head that he hadn't even considered someone enjoying being 'cooped up'. *sob*
Aziraphale goes No actually I put the closed sign up in the window and I'm having the Time of My Life, never had so few customers, not in 200 years!, etc. Although, he says:
A: …There were a few young lads a couple of nights ago who broke in through the back and tried to steal the cashbox! But they soon saw the error of their ways~ C: *clearly amused* Did you smite them with your wroth? A: Well I certainly gave them a good talking to, and I sent each of them home with cake~ C: *annoyed, swooning* Cake? A: Quite a lot of cake, actually. C: *physically ill from having such a giant crush on this dumbass baker/security guard* eeeekkkgghhh I'm gonna regret asking but.. ...rrgh.. *30 seconds of Aziraphale joyfully describing his baking while Crowley probably tries very hard not to imagine the angel eating each item in sensual slow motion* I stg you can hear him struggling in the background once or twice
A: …And once I've baked them, I have to eat them all myself, which was why I was so delighted— C: To send your burglars home laden with baked goods, yes, nnyeaayeah I follow…
Crowley interrupts, finishing Aziraphale's sentence in his nervous hurry to say the next bit:
C: *loud inhale* You know, I could.. hunker down at your place. … Slither over and watch you eat cake. I could bring a bottle--a case of… something… drinkable…?
He's trying to sound so casual about it but this is someone who was rejected/abandoned by actual literal God after asking what he thought were welcome, uncontroversial questions. Asking makes him vulnerable. He's supposed to be the rescuer, not a demon in distress. He does not feel casual about asking.
Crowley knows it's unlikely but he's so miserable and desperate for company that he can't help but ask, just in case. Even the smallest chance of spending time trapped indoors with Aziraphale—with nothing to do but drink, watch him eat, and talk about things they'd normally avoid—is too tempting.
A: *panicking* Oh I— I— I— I— I'm afraid that would be Breaking All The Rules! *nervous breathing* Out of the question! I'll see you… when this is over. C: Right. gnnehh. I'm setting the alarm clock for July. Good night, angel. *dial tone*
And just like that, Crowley doesn't need two days to decide. The depression nap doubles in length. He doesn't hear how badly Aziraphale wants to say yes behind the fear, or maybe he does and it hurts worse because why isn't Crowley enough for him? You can almost hear the spiralling:
SHOCKING, asking made it worse. It always does doesn’t it? Why even bother? you just embarrass yourself.. SLITHER over? why did I say that *grumble grumble* of COURSE His Holy Holiness, your only friend in the universe, would rather eat cake by himself while everything goes to shit than ~deign~ to have you in his presence. "AsK aND yE sHaLl ReCeIvE" bugger this for a lark im going to bed
(a bit dramatic but we've all been there)
I imagine sleep doesn't come right away. Maybe his thoughts drift to when he sat beside the angel at a dark Tadfield bus stop after a rather eventful Saturday. Crowley must've felt a tiny bit hopeful when he invited Aziraphale to stay with him: Heaven had withdrawn its favor and the bookshop was gone; Aziraphale was like him now. Didn't that mean things would change?
"I don't think my side would like that." Apparently not.
In the end, Aziraphale did ride the bus back to Crowley's apartment and stayed till the next morning when he caught a cab, but only to sell the illusion. Crowley understood that as far as sides went, the angel was still on Heaven's, even if Heaven wasn't on his.
And now this: the entire world is shut down; there is nothing for Aziraphale to do but stay in and read and bake in his magically reconstituted bookshop and he still won't invite Crowley in. Burglars and un-fallen angels only—nobody who asks questions.
So... of course Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale when he loses his apartment. He already knows what answer he would get; the angel has told him so many times. Aziraphale is a company man first, a companion to one very sad owl when convenient.
If Crowley works up the courage to say 'please take me in, I have nowhere else to go' and Aziraphale goes 'sorry, no, far too political, but I WILL risk being erased from the Book of Life to protect this nude amnesiac former coworker who always hated me,' it's going to be too much. You can't sleep long enough for that type of hurt to go away. Better not to say anything.
"Then nothing has to change, does it?"
#edited to add the note about crowley's perspective right after the cut! apologies if it seemed anti-aziraphale before!#good omens meta#good omens lockdown#good omens 2#ineffable husbands#ineffable spouses#ineffable divorcees#i can't even imagine navigating the pandemic brain scramblies while pining THAT HARD#Aziraphale is a company man (gn) but i think S3 will cure him of that#long but if i can't write essays about this on tumblr then where#good omens spoilers
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im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:
videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.
and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.
this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.
there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.
there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.
for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.
i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.
here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."
eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.
we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.
"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"
thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.
it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.
an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.
and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."
#and there's something else in there about like ....#tbh once i got over something like 1k followers#i stopped being specific about my ED for a REASON.#yes on ur personal locked blog that u use like a diary go ahead etc#but we are OBVIOUSLY not talking about that. we're talking about the sheer NUMBER of people i could be talking about#in that one paragraph. that you and i probably were thinking about 2 different influencers#bc they get to say that they're just posting FITNESS and if it's FITNESS it's OKAY and im like#jesus christ lord almighty#every person in recovery from an ED: this is incredibly dangerous holy shit do you know how much this would have triggered me#each of these ppl: how dare you!!!!!!!!! i am only harming those who WANT to engage with my content!!!!!#their followers: leave them alone !!! they can't help that they make an hours-long choice to frame their disorder as if it was#fucking cottagecore !!!!#like girlie this person needs THERAPY#again! i didn't even have that large of a following before i IMMEDIATELY deleted any specific mention of calories food etc#bc i recognize responsibility and i didnt EVER want to even ACCIDENTALLY encourage this#and im not even GETTING PAID FOR THIS!!!#aND THEY ARE!!!#something something something they know this content makes them money#they don't give a SHIT about u babe
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i have never thought of the bg3 paths as railroaded before but oh my god... i see your vision. i think that, for all that can be picked apart in the writing of dragon age, the worldbuilding in that series is so so interested in complicating all factions that you can envision a character who /makes sense/ while bouncing through various ideologies. and the sort of fantasy writing in (most of) the forgotten realms doesn't really allow for that.
dao is particularly the light of my life because the origins mechanic is specifically intended to let you create a character who has a distinctive perspective on the world that’s grounded in the worldbuilding. one of my favourite aspects of this is several origins having completely different codex entries on their own culture as opposed to those an outsider would get. it’s really good! it’s also a reasonably grounded world (while obviously silly) because, like, the basic fundamental premise of thedas, from which they ikea flatpack built almost every feature, is “how would people react to magical and fantastical diversity? the same way they react to human diversity.” you’re meant to feel like, aside from i guess the darkspawn, people are normal and have real motivations. sure it has to fulfil certain roles in a story, and dragon age was manufactured too quickly and purposefully for everything to land feeling authentic, but evil in dragon age should feel recognisable. and in most of the origins they give you a chance to do something that is bad, but also totally makes sense, because of the context of your character belonging to this world where these things happen
in dnd/the forgotten realms it’s a bit different because capital e Evil exists, so there are people and deities and devils (and, to open another can of worms, races) whose entire goal is to Do Evil. it’s also harder to produce grounded evil because in a world where i’m being given basically no context and just told to make whatever i want, i don’t have an inch of the kind of social information i get from for example a dao origin: what my character has been taught to believe they should do to survive, who they are willing to sacrifice, whatever. bg3 also happens to have a main plot goal that is, at least for the first part of the game, broadly selfish (“i am sick, and i need a cure”) which works really well for getting a bunch of people with vastly differing moral standards to band together for the same goal, and not so good for any kind of “greater good” type blurred morality, so that’s out too
however much the worldbuilding factors into this, bg3 specifically went for quite a clear distinction between the good path and the capital e Evil Path, and i find it pretty hard to vary up the good path. when i say railroaded i mean you either do the specific thing that gets you a quest down the line or not. i was really disappointed actually in my playthrough where i totally fucked up in the druids’ grove and caused a fight to break out, because it immediately instakilled tons of characters i knew i would need down the line. the few it spared needed some of the dead ones to stay alive in later quests, so it’s like... oh. that’s just... over. for both factions. bg3 arguably lets you do basically anything you want but they are able to do that because if you fuck around it just breaks the entire quest line from coming up again, which means playing a character who fucks up is not even really going to get me consequences it’s just going to cut content from the game. does that make sense? and then the Evil Path is just straight up evil, like... there’s no way for me to complicate and empathise, here, especially playing a blank canvas character whose motivations i would have to make up from nothing, and who faces basically no consequences for not doing this. the only neutral/cowardly/self-interested option in act 1 is to do neither path, which gets me the least content because i literally don’t get to play the fucking game
i don’t know, i’m not saying it’s necessarily bad just that it’s hard for me, personally, and how i like to create characters. especially when you have my constant restart disease and you have to do this all over again a dozen times just for a handful of different dialogue. does any of that make sense
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Hair- Mizu x fem! reader
Tags: Fluff, mild angst? (Again idk how to tag guys, somebody who does know please tell me that would be amazing <3), gender reveal (reader discovers Mizu is a woman), mentions injury and violence, maybe a slow burn? (might make into a series)
Notes: in 2nd person (you), 995 words, Mizu x fem! reader
Context: you and Mizu are friends with romantic tension, also it’s a bit awkward between you two after you find out she’s a woman
A/N: Hello there. Fanfiction. Read it. Hope you enjoy. I’m going to get back to doing school work now. Or I’ll procrastinate and make a part 2.
Also this is inspired by a scene that was cut from the show where Mizu plays with her hair.
Toodles, love Yamz x
Mizu huffed, frustrated as she tried to tie up her hair. It was normally a simple task, however, on this morning it was not.
In a scuffle with some assassins, Mizu had hurt her arm quite badly. Although it was the day after the battle, the pain still lingered. Pain was not the only thing that lingered, but an awkward air. After yesterday’s battle, you treated Mizu’s injured arm, finding out that Mizu was not the man you thought she was.
She was a woman.
The image of your shocked face when you pulled down her haori lingered in her mind, like a reflection in a window pane.
The two of you sat on the floor of the inn, with a noticeable gap, getting ready for the day. Her annoyed huff brought you to look up from the mirror you were holding. You turned to her chuckling softly, “You alright over there?”
She shot you a small glare. “I’m fine.” She attempted to tie her hair up again but the strands cascaded out of her grasp. Her arm fell to her side, she sighed a little defeated.
You crawled behind her, propping yourself up on your knees. Taking the hair tie from her hand, you began gathering her hair together.
Mizu hesitated before uttering, “What are you doing?”
“Shaving your hair off.” you casually remarked as you brushed the knots out of her long hair with your fingers.
Mizu jerked her head back to face you, grabbing your wrist.
“I’m joking! I’m tying up your hair, obviously.” you laughed.
Mizu’s lips curled to a frown, her grip loosening.
“Just let me help you out.” She let you move her head so she faced away from you. You shuffled a little closer to her, her back up against your front as you continued brushing through her hair.
Mizu relaxed a little as your fingers softly graced her. She thought of how gentle you were with her. Something she wasn’t used to.
Her usual contact with people tended to be violent to say the least.
Mizu thought of a time before she had to shave her hair as a child. How her mother would tug and pull at her hair, telling her to sit still.
Your touch was nothing like her mothers.
You were careful and soft, touching her as if she was silk.
Mizu closed her eyes with a small sigh of relief as you gathered all her hair into one hand, using your other to smooth out any bumps.
“Sorry I don’t have a comb. I think I lost it in the heat of things yesterday. Hands are nature's comb anyway.”
Mizu hummed in response, melting under the way your hands moved through her hair.
“All done.” You pick up the mirror, holding it so Mizu could see your handy work.
She opened her eyes, catching yours in the reflection.
“Not bad right?” You smiled at her through the mirror.
Mizu smiled back, “not bad. You didn’t shave it off.”
“Don’t give me ideas.” You tried to brush her cowlick behind her ear but it failed to stick.
Turning around, she chuckled. The two of you became face to face “for every strand of hair you cut, is a finger lost on your hands.”
You felt the heat of her words touch your face, eyes widening slightly at your closeness . You sit back on your feet, creating a bit more distance between the two of you. “Well I guess my fingers are safe.”
“For now.” Mizu smirked.
You crossed your arms, hiding your hands away from her. You playfully glare at her which she returns before the two of you start laughing.
After the laughter subsides, Mizu gazes at you with soft eyes. “Thanks…Uh for helping me with my hair.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m happy to help.”
“I won’t be like this for long.” She adjusted the sleeve of her haori.
“I know. You always spring back quickly. By the end of the day you’ll probably be fighting the whole town with no problem. And even if you’re not, and you still need my help, I’ll do your hair.”
Mizu smiles again, bowing her head slightly. “Thank you.” She paused thoughtfully, her gaze lowering to the floor.
Noticing the slight shift in mood, you offered a kind smile. “Everything okay?”
“It’s nothing.” Her eyes flickered to yours.
“There’s always something.”
“It’s just… I don’t understand.” She looked down at her hands.
“What is it you don’t understand?”
“How can you be so normal? You know my secret. I’ve been deceiving you for so long… How can you act like it’s okay?” Her blue eyes gazed into yours with worry.
“Because it is okay.”
“But I lied to you. I am not a man.”
You took a breath, one which felt like an eternity to Mizu. “Listen, I understand why hide the truth from everyone. It’s easier to walk as a man in our world than it is to crawl as a woman, and it’s easier to keep a secret if you’re the only one who knows it.”
“Well… Ringo knew.”
“What?!” You exclaimed. Mizu winced slightly.
After a brief pause you continued, “That’s… fine. A-anyway, my point still stands. I’m not angry or upset with you because I get it.”
Mizu stayed quiet, reflecting on your words. After a moment, she speaks. “You are very kind to me… I’m not sure if I am deserving of it.”
“Well, I give my kindness to whomever I want so whether you think you deserve it is not for you to decide.” You crossed your arms. “I think you are deserving of my kindness and compassion, and you’re not the boss of me so, nyeh.” Your serious facade couldn’t stay up as you began smiling.
Mizu chuckles, putting her hands up in defeat. “OK, OK, I won’t talk more about it.”
“So we’re OK?” You asked carefully but with a smile gracing your lips.
“We’re good.”
“Good.”
#mizu x reader#mizu blue eye samurai#blue eye samurai#bes mizu#blue eye samurai x reader#mizu x fem!reader#wlw fluff#mizu#blue eye samurai mizu#wlw#sapphic fanfic#ahhhhhhhhh idk how to tag#mizu brainrot
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Best Buddies Ft SinB (NSFW)
Authors note: I'm releasing my Wednesday release a bit early because I understand that not everyone may like it so I might as well get it out of the way. If you enjoy cool. Feel free to tell me what you like and who you would like to see next.
You enter the code for your apartment tired, and frustrated. Your apartment has always felt cramped. Like a rat inside of a cage. You hated it the artificial lights grated on your senses. You yearned for the countryside or any respite from this artificial city. Before your fury could stew further a voice rings out in comfort.
"Aye, you look like shit," SinB says to you as you walk into your shared small abode. you smirk as she has the temperature just right to shake off the cold, and the smell of pizza fills the air.
“How do you know you can't even see me?” you yell.
“I have seen you come home enough times to know when you'll look like shit. Especially when you're 2 hours late.” SinB chortles.
You smirk at SinB before retorting, "Well yeah some of us have to work normal jobs where we look like shit." you smile when SinB comes into view. Her resting serious face appears stern but to you, it was a facade as you walked over to your buddy. You hug her tightly. SinB looks at you while you hug her
“What’s got you smiling so much?” SinB asks intrigued as she breaks away and walks around you.
You smile harder as you answer “Nothing just happy to be home with friends.” you loved her tough exterior hiding her soft and goofy heart.
“Ah now don't go all sappy on me. It's annoying,” SinB replies feigning an annoyed tone that you knew she was happy to see you.
“Well with the day I had, I get the right to be.” you challenge.
SinB stops in front of you and holds your hands. She watches as they violently shake with the remaining workday jitters and anger
“You need a new job, I can feel your body tremble with rage. Why do you let them treat you like that?” SinB says plainly
“Why are you hiring?” you tease.
SinB smacks your arm as she laughs. Her response is biting, short but true“I'm serious I can feel how sad and angry you are. Why do you let these people walk all over you,”
“I know it's just…” you begin
“I know I know you have to be guarded and can't “expose yourself to harm” but you being the considerate one harming you. consider finding a better environment” SinB implores you
You shrug this job was a massive pain to get and you didn't want to leave SinB hanging so you throw her a bone, “Well if you know where I should look, I will,” you reply
SinB pouts as she watches your features, she eyes you up and down as you change out of your work clothes into normal clothes, “Why don't you go back to photography? You were so good at it!”
You sigh as you've had this conversation over and over “It didn't pay the bills.”
SinB grins mischievously as she counters, “If I remember correctly it paid most of them before we met.”
You groan remembering the context, “Well, that was before we began living together in this dump.”
As you walk to grab a slice of cheese Pizza SinB narrows her eyes and asks “Maybe then we should move back to the countryside at least for a bit. You can go back to photography and I can still focus on Viviz”
Your eyes spring back to life as you excitedly say, “I love that! how about we do that three months from now sound?”
SinB pouts and groans at your lack of impulsivity, “I’m okay with it but I'd rather you quit tomorrow.”
You look at SinB worried “SinB you know I can't do that”
SinB steals your slice and with a partially full mouth garbled “Why not? What happened to my country boy who wanted to document the world?”
“I think he moved in with a famous pop star and needed to not be a burden to her, I need to be careful” you respond
SinB smiles and chuckles. when you walk into the small kitchen area of your apartment you see SinB who smiles at you. She walks over to you and stares at you her adorable pout lives up the oppressively dull apartment you lived in. She gets closer and hugs you as she does she hands you a slice of pizza it's Hawaiian, your favorite.
“You need to get out of Seoul,” SinB says as she caresses your back. You nod as you take a bit of pizza
"Ah, my favorite. what's the occasion?" you ask curious. SinB smiles
She purses her lips before saying, "Well I thought I should get something for my best Buddy before I leave for my world tour."
You smile proud of her and all of her hard work. You take a bite of Pizza then say, "Oh right Congrats. So is this your going away party? Also, this is the reason I can't leave tomorrow we have too much going on "
SinB smiles before she says seductively, "Something like that."
You tilt your head to look down at her. Her eyes are full of excitement but also nerves, which makes you worry so you ask a teasing question."But don't you want to be with your family, friends, or members?" you tease as you finish your Pizza slice
The air drastically shifts from loving to lustful "Well, I would but I couldn't do this. SinB says before bringing you into a lurid and fevered kiss. She also squeezes your ass and begins to massage it. when you feel her tongue venture into your mouth you break the kiss. a trail of saliva being the only remnant of the lip lock. SinB licks her lips.
"So this isn't an innocent meeting between friends?" you ask with feigned annoyance.
"Oh Please it's been a week since we've fucked." SinB said bluntly. She pouted at you before continuing, "We need this. Plus I know you have been dreaming about my body. I know yours has been running around in my mind." as she speaks she closes in on you again and firmly grabs your ass before bringing you in for another kiss. this one is even more hot and heavy than the last. you stay with her in this moment getting lost in each other's taste. When I pull away from SinB she smirks evilly which in this context can only mean one thing. "God I love your ass. I can't wait to pound it to oblivion." SinB mewls as she leads you to the bedroom. Your eyes roll.
"is this the only reason you took a chance on a foreigner like me, just so you could use my ass?" you question your friend with benefits.
"No you pillowy ass is just the icing on the cake. You're kind, smart, honest, and tough so I can be me when I am with you as opposed to SinB the K-pop star. I can be Hwang Eunbi the lady." SinB said wistfully.
You tilt your head at her words, as they stirred your heart not to lust but to care, despite being Lusty partners you had grown to care for Eunbi the girl, and weren't just in it for SinB the star. In the mundane moments you gathered while living together you learned a lot about her. Her likes her dislikes. Her apprehensions and her relations. Besides her members, you were probably the one who knew her best, but that went both ways. When SinB looked into your eyes she saw her “cuddle bear”. She saw the soft-hearted but fierce-minded guy whom she was trying hard not to fall for. She respected your opinions and insights on the world. So seeing you so furious with no recourse at her up. You smile at Eunbi and realize you've fallen for her. This revelation of hers was news to you so you ask, "So would you rather me call you Eunbi?"
Eunbi's eyes cloud over with lust as she stares at you hungrily, "OOh, I like that say it again." she demands in her "Sex starved tone."
"Uh Eunbi." Eunbi's eyes disappear as she smiles with a brightness that can rival the sun. You truly love her goofy eye smile and wish she would wear it all the time. In your opinion it was better than most of the other accessories she would often wear. When she regains her composure she pushes you into the bedroom and locks the door.
"Strip," she commands. you do as she commands as she strips as well. when you are both naked as the day you were born you approach your "friend with benefits."
"I'd usually say take me to dinner first but we kinda already did that." you tease which causes Eunbi to laugh as she looks for her strapon. you kiss her forehead and keep her close for a bit which she appreciates but also she's needy and goes back to her searching.
When she finds the strap she puts it on and sashays back to you before she bends you over the bed and slaps your ass she watches as the flesh jiggles with delight.
Eunbi’s dainty hand actresses your rear, “okay babe relax.”
You hear Eunbi’s slip of the tongue and turn to face her, as you say “Babe?” Eunbi blushes before telling you to shut up. You hear her spit and try to relax.
"Okay, I am going to start, and then after that rail me until I can't walk anymore," Eunbi says with eyes glazed over by need and lust but lit with excitement. As She fastens the strap she moans as one of the heads is driven deep into her pussy. You breathe as she impales you
“God I forgot how tight you were relax babe it will be fine,” Eunbi assures you, and in her eyes you see concern. You know she wants you to feel as good as she does and doesn't want you hurt. So you slow your breathing and calm the jitters. As she thrusts into you again the stresses and annoyances of work wash away. “Atta boy babe,” SinB says as she slides in and out. You moan which makes Eunbi swell with joy. “You like how I fuck that fat ass babe.”
“Oh yes” you moan Eunbi smiles as she keeps thrusting. Despite the uncanny feeling of being pegged. It was a pleasant still euphoric experience. As Eunbi continued her thrusts you moan to her “Oh god yes take all your stress out on my fat ass dominate it.” you almost yell to Eunbi. As she pounds into your ass this strange feeling of compertion sets in. It drives you wild to watch your friend? Have her way with you. So you egg her on even harder letting yourself submit to her. “Oh don't you love this fat ass that ripples each time you pound into it?” you say as you watch Eunbi lose control.
She pulls your back up and says “I love this slutty ass. It's all mine too, and no one else. I love that this fat ass is only mine to fuck and mine to ruin. I love it.” Eunbi says as she continues to speed up her thrusts. You see sweat build on her body, but then you feel your head being jerked to her eyes.
“Be a good boy for me babe and roll those pretty eyes back.” as she says that she goes deeper than you've ever felt and you scream. Eunbi moans “There's my good boy. The good boy who’s always so supportive of me and everything I do. The good boy who left his photography job so he could live with me. The good boy who lets me ruin his ass. That's who you are. Don't let anyone tell you different.” Eunbi says as she continues to pound into you. While she does so Eunbi begins stroking your dick while she fucks you. You Moan and writhe in her arms overwhelmed. seeing this Eunbi decides to send you over the edge. “Is my good Boy gonna cum. Because I think my good boy needs it. Forget about work forget about your terrible boss just focus on me, good boy. Let me take care of you.” to send you over the edge she nibbles on your right ear. her actions and words meteor you over the edge. You start cumming and can't stop your seed flying all across the bed. Eunbi smiles as she continues to use your ass chasing her release now as she watches your cock viciously spray all over the bed. After your orgasm ends you lay on the bed as she continues to rail you Eunbi smiles as she sees your body release the tension you've held since you walked in the apartment.
this stokes the flames of Eunbi’s lust which push her to fuck you harder. You turn your back to watch Eunbi lose herself to the pleasure of her bright smile plastered all over her face
“Babe” she groans you turn to face her “I'm cumming.” you smile as she moans and screams before falling on top of you. You scoop up the smaller lady and you both lie on the bed. Removing the cum stained comforter first obviously. The saccharine scent of sex permeates the bedroom as the two of you lie down together. “I have never seen you cum that much or that violently,” SinB says with a raised eyebrow
You smile as you fix her hair before saying, “Well yeah how could I not when my best buddy takes such good care of me.”
SinB blushes and pouts as she says “Well someone has to take care of my good boy since he won't do it for himself.”
The atmosphere goes from lurid to chaste as you lay next to Eunbi. Your body eases more as she plays with your hands. She turns and boops your nose, and your heart explodes causing you to say, “I love you Eunbi.”SinB’s eyes widen at your statement and she goes silent. You watch as her brain squirms and tries to process your statement and her own emotions regarding you.
“You’re a dick you know that.” SinB says.
You laugh as she continues to play with your hair, “I told you this would get messy and that's why I didn't want to start this relationship.”
“I know Mr. Know it all but couldn't you have been less annoying about it?” SinB asks pointed you shrug at her question.
“You’ve been so good to me and providing me such peace in all of this how could I not fall for you?” you ask Eunbi
Eunbi smirks and says, “I am pretty great aren't I?” you nod and she starts kissing you again while rubbing your hardening cock at a egregiously slow pace. You groan as the kiss breaks. Eunbi stares at you with wanton eyes, you know what she wants. You get up and move her to her favorite position; doggy. You rub your rod across the edge of her folds. She is absolutely drenched to the point of it pooling under her cunt and as you continue to tease her she yells at you. “Stop teasing me. Be a good boy and rail me.” you smile and oblige like the good boy you are. Your first thrust into SinB is much like her subtle but overwhelming. Shes is always tighter than you think she would be and as you bottom out slowly in her she mewls in fervent pleasure, you groan as she moans saying,”oh yes Zod fill me.”
“Shit Eunbi. How are you always so tight?” you question
“I'm always tight for my good boy,” Eunbi says with a wicked smile before you begin to thrust. You start slowly hoping to give her time to adjust but she yells at you to go faster and harder she can take it. So again you are obliged you watch as she loses herself to the pleasure and says “God you fill me so well.” and as her breath hitches she becomes impossibly tight, oh God I'm cumming” SinB yells as she begins to squirt all over the bed. A first for the both of you actually since you had never seen this before. Her tightness is so overwhelming in fact that it forces you out of her as she rides her orgasm. While her body rages on without you watching as continues chasing the high. After SinB calms down you look at the mess she made and sigh. She looks at you apologetically as you gesture for her to get up so you can wash all of the bedding now. As the two of you wait you go back to the now-cold pizza and begin eating it well you just dive right in Eunbi heats hers up in the oven “like a civilized person” but cold pizza is delicious so you ignore her remark as you continue eating. SinB smirks and after her pizza is finished she sits next to you. She leans on you as the two of you eat pizza naked in your shared apartment.
“Hey Zod why did you agree to move in with me?” Eunbi asks.
“I thought it would be fun. I didn't expect We’d become so close,” you respond
“Do you like us being so “close?” she asks. I can hear the worry in her voice and I respond
“Despite hating this workload and culture I have never once regretted the time we've spent together and would do it all over again,” you answer
SinB looks at you surprised to hear you say such kind words, “oh you've fallen for me hard.” she teases. You nod.
SinB pouts, “How do you do it? How do you stay so calm when everything around you is on fire.” she asks
You turn to her with a simple response, “I always weigh the cost of losing my cool. At work if I hit Mark for saying something smart about you I won't be able to see you anymore.” you say calmly
“So you endure all this for me?” Eunbi asks
“No, you are just icing on the cake.” you tease Eunbi which causes her to hit you.
“I love you too best buddy,” Eunbi says as she leans into you again
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Hiii💕💕💕 Could you please make some hc with musashi and jun from baki please?
Yet another ancient request, so sorry about it. I've been struggling to think of a context, but as Valentine's Day approached, I thought, "Well, might as well turn this into a special". So here it is. I'm adding two-three extra characters for a bundle. Sorry for the wait. :')
Baki Headcanons: Valentine's Day Special
Featuring Jun Guevaru, Musashi Miyamoto, Baki Hanma, Chiharu Shiba and Pickle. And Reader as their Valentine! (Written according to Western customs for the sake of a pampered Reader)
Jun Guevaru
Jun is a hopeless romantic and might actually enjoy Valentine's Day even more than you do. Mind you, the holiday itself is as superficial as it gets, and you've heard his philosophies one too many times; the enticing part is having an excuse to go all out and proclaim his affections for you in the most extravagant way possible. Can you blame him? He loves to show off. And you, sweet (Y/N), happen to be his most prized possession. A man will always be guilty of following his heart.
Although don't expect some cheap American fabrication that glorifies consumerism. His Valentine's Day isn't about that. Love can't be expressed through chocolate or flowers, at least not in his opinion. It's about raw feelings. The word, the tender caress. You can leave it to him to verbalize such depth. After all, he didn't unite an entire country with sheer luck. He is a charismatic leader and, most importantly, a passionate lover. His poetic speeches and sung praise will leave you entranced.
He, too, may be tempted to use the element of surprise. Perhaps through an overly formal letter expressing his utmost disappointment that he won't be able to see you on this particular date. Prison technicalities, you must understand. Nothing he can do about it. Then, when you least expect it, he'll pull you into a most desperate embrace. Oh, he missed you so much. He'll be ready to serenade you, take you places, whisper sweet nothings. You'll feign shock and surprise; you already guessed he wouldn't miss the chance to spoil you, but you do enjoy going along with his games. "Surely you didn't expect me to leave you alone on such a day, my beloved", he'll reassure you fondly. Allow him to prove himself anew.
Musashi Miyamoto
Musashi does not quite understand all of the particularities such a holiday entails. Nor would he normally care for the mundane customs of the modern world. Yet he has noticed the switch of your tone whenever you mention the approaching date. The sheepish glances towards the mysterious heart-themed merch. For someone as observant as him, your excitement is ridiculously clear, no matter how much you shake your head in denial. If his partner wants it, he might as well entertain it. Why not?
Thus, he will begin his little research. What is it that piques your interest to such a degree? He might employ the other fighters to enlighten him on the matter. An amusing sight, if one considers it: the legendary samurai, pacing back and forth as Tokugawa stumbles to follow behind. "W-what about this?" The old man will humbly suggest. "Oooh, fascinating. Yes, yes." He'll respond, holding his chin thoughtfully. "However, it's not (Y/N)'s style. Next."
Keep in mind that Musashi will tailor everything to fit his nature. Flowers? Maybe. All the other modern knick-knacks? Forget it. He'll do you one better. Something you won't expect, because it's a gift meant for his time and age. After a long, frustrating search, he finds what he's looking for. A most unusual sight, but something that represents him indeed. He will proudly extend to you a small, slender kodachi with his family's name inscribed on the scabbard. What greater honor than to share his love and passion? The weapon has been carefully built to his standards, so you may defend yourself if such a need ever arises. For Musashi himself to curate a sword bearing his name, you might as well count it as a proposal.
Pickle
Lately, Baki has been focused on things beyond Pickle's understanding. The only time he'd seen the young boy so excited was before a match. On the other hand, what kind of opponent would Baki be fighting where bizarre, heart-shaped items are required? After a lot of gesturing, rudimentary explanation and show-and-tell demonstration, it finally clicks: it's a special occasion, not preparations for battle.
An occasion that doesn't involve just Baki and Kozue, but, by the looks of it, anyone with a mate. The idea pumps his heart with excitement. Is it something he could celebrate with his own (Y/N)? In that case, he absolutely wants to be part of it. Pickle demands to be shown the ropes, so he, too, can impress his partner. Not that he's not already showing his love (and ownership) with every opportunity.
And so here you are, standing outside your apartment, utterly baffled, shocked, speechless. Pickle has surprised you many times before with his horny mischief and troublemaker shenanigans, but never in your wildest dreams would you have imagined him showing up with balloons, chocolate and a date itinerary on Valentine's Day. You retrieve the little list from his massive hands - he probably can't even read anything on it - and scan over the text. Someone definitely helped him compile everything. Judging from the varied handwriting, it must've been a group effort from Lord knows how many fighters who enjoyed themselves way too much in aiding Pickle's romancing game. Nonetheless you're impressed, just as the prehistoric man had hoped. He sees your blushing face and immediately grins with pride. Who knows, maybe his efforts will be rewarded handsomely (you won't be walking straight until March).
Baki Hanma
Among the other men, Baki may be the only one to show unironic enthusiasm towards the upcoming holiday. He likes cute things (you included) and there's no shame in it. His focus has been switching between training, fighting in the Arena, and more training. He's looking forward to a little break, especially one that allows him to spend time with you.
He's not secretive about the process, either. He'll show up at your place with a stack of flyers and scribbled notes, asking you to trim down activities with him. Worry not, he has compiled an extensive list of available events for couples, as well as places to visit and general ideas. After all, part of the fun is to plan everything with you. Can you tell he's excited? Kneeling at the table and flipping through the options with a wide grin on his face, you can almost discern a wagging tail materializing behind him.
He could be slightly biased towards activities that allow him to impress you. A Valentine's Day fair, for example, is such a cheesy idea, but he can't resist the temptation to show off. "Beat the high score and win the prize" blinking in flashy colors above one of those boxing arcade machines? Oops! He was trying to hold back, but he ended up dislodging the whole thing from the ground. Sorry, (Y/N), he simply forgets how strong he is, sometimes. Something hard to avoid, given you’re his greatest motivation. Aren’t you proud of your boyfriend? Do praise the poor boy, he’s been itching to receive your affection. It’s been an eternity! Or maybe half an hour, but still.
Chiharu Shiba
Chiharu isn't one to care much for holidays and under regular circumstances he would probably forget about it, too, were it not for the aid of capitalism and heavy commercial propaganda. Therefore, it's hard to ignore the rapidly approaching date given the blaring ads and themed products found on every shelf. Oh, well. He loves spoiling you and he certainly won't miss an opportunity to declare his love in the most cheesy, predictable manner.
He might be a tad cheeky about the entire business. "Valentine's Day? Hmmm..." He'll hum, thoughtfully, feigning mild indifference. It's a difficult task: seeing you cast your eyes down, perhaps a little disappointed, makes him want to smash his own head into the first telephone pole. No one should ever dare to upset you in the slightest - him included! - he thinks, enraged. He struggles to fight the urge. It's for a good cause. Just a few days left. Do forgive him, darling (Y/N).
He'll surprise you in the ways he knows best. Maybe some fresh, heart shaped decals decorating the gas tank of his motorcycle. A flashy, pink tokko-fuku (or uniform jacket) with a particular slogan embroidered on its back. Whatever it is, he'll make sure everyone is aware of his cause. While he might not be the best with words, his actions will be loud and clear. He'll hand you a helmet and gesture for you to hop on the back of his bike. He planned a day-long road trip for the two of you. What's nicer than feeling the wind, the freedom, the warmth of your small arms tightly wrapped around him? He doesn't need overly sophisticated restaurants or whatever else comes with the package. Some great sights and you by his side, and he's the happiest man on this planet. To think someone like him would be privileged enough to gaze at a pretty little thing like you.
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