#not pictured: the entire 30s i spent not attacking and laughing at her in the VC because it was so funny

[eggyulks]

stand down bucky

[missywritesfor7]

🌺 Promise Flower | PJM 🌺

Synopsis: Jimin is a popular dance student and the best one at his university. Mina is a photography student and has known Jimin since high school. An idea for a photo project finds Mina getting closer to him than she ever has before. She learns how big his heart is, but also learns how closely he guards it. Every time she thinks he'll let her in, he pulls away again. Is it even worth the trouble?

Pairing: college student!Jimin x fem!oc

Warnings: depression, anxiety, panic attacks, alcoholism

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|| Ch. 3: Phoenix ||

Thanks to Namjoon being an amazing reporter and writer, his story about Jimin got picked up by a few local publications, which gave Jimin a big boost in fan base. With that and the great feedback he’s received, he’s been feeling more empowered and confident in himself.

He’s still hard on himself though. He felt the dance he was working on needed some changes so he spent the entire weekend revamping his routine. He let me know he would be working on it in the practice studio on Wednesday if I wanted to come by for more pictures.

I love that’s he’s gotten much more comfortable when I’m around. He was a bit embarrassed and a little stiff at first, but he’s finally loosened up and it shows in the photos. He used to shy away from looking at the photos of himself but now he gets excited to see what I captured. He claimed that I just take really good pictures, but I don’t really have to do much when he looks as amazing as he does, whether he’s dancing or just standing there.

Wednesday after class I head over to the dance studio where he’s already begun practicing. I can tell that he’s made changes to his routine. It actually looks like an entirely new routine, but what do I know.

“Hey,” I say pulling out my camera. “Did you change the entire routine?”

“Not the entire thing,” he says taking a sip of water. “Just…a lot of it.”

“Park Jimin,” I laugh. “Never satisfied.”

“Is that a problem?” He jokes sassily.

“Of course it’s not, your highness.” We both look at each other and laugh. I love teasing him this way. It makes him cringe a bit but then he’ll either play along or bless me with his contagious laughter.

He steps back out on the floor and begins practicing his routine some more. I position myself in the front corner of the room and begin snapping away.

Something about getting action shots always excites me. When I catch him doing a quick spin, or graceful leap it always comes out so perfectly. He looks like he’s flying being carried by invisible wings.

I try catching every movement he makes as he slides across the floor. My camera lens follows every jump as he flies up and comes down to make his landing.

And something pops.

And he’s on the ground.

“Arrgghhh!!”

“Oh my God!” I yell putting my camera down and running over to Jimin in a heap on the floor. “Are you ok??”

“I don’t know I don’t know,” he says clutching his knee in pain. “Something popped and it hurts so bad.” That can’t be good.

“Let me call an ambulance.” I grab my phone out of my pocket and make the call while trying to keep a soothing hand on Jimin’s arm.

He’s in tears and the amount of pain he’s in is written all over his face. I try my best to keep him calm by giving him water and rubbing his shoulder, reminding him to breathe until the paramedics arrive.

I grab his bag and make sure I don’t leave anything behind and follow him out as he’s taken away on a stretcher. It’s a scary sight and I can’t imagine what may be going through his head as all eyes are on him while he’s loaded into the ambulance.

I feel like I’m waiting in the emergency room for hours for someone to come tell me how he is. In reality it’s only been 30 minutes, but it seems like it’s been an eternity.

I sent Hoseok a text when I arrived at the hospital letting him know what happened. He’s usually good about responding but he hasn’t yet so I assume he’s out practicing his own routine. I just hope he checks his phone soon.

Another half hour passes and I’m finally able to see Jimin. He looks so distraught it breaks my heart. His eyes are red and I can tell he’s been crying.

“How are you feeling?“ I softly ask stepping up to the side of his bed.

“They gave me some pain medicine,” he whispers not taking his gaze off of his fidgeting hands in his lap.

“How bad is it?”

He takes a moment to answer and that lets me know it’s definitely not good. His eyes well with tears as he tried to choke out a response.

“I tore my acl.” He closes his eyes trying to keep the tears inside. “I’ll need surgery. And I won’t be able to dance. For a while.”

Those words bring the tears out again. He’s probably hurting more about not being able to dance than any physical pain he’s in. My heart is shattering and I’m not even sure what I can do to comfort him. Without thinking I reach out and hold his hand. Rather than pull away like I thought he would, he actually squeezes my hand tighter.

“I’ll have surgery in two weeks,” he continues. “Then it could be 6-9 months or more before I can dance again.” He looks up at me with his big glassy eyes. “What am I supposed to do if I can’t dance?”

“I’m so sorry, Jimin. I wish there was something I could do to help.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” he assures me. “Thanks for being here.”

Just then Hoseok comes into the room looking out of breath as if he ran all the way here. His lips are pulled into a worried frown.

“Jiminie are you ok? What happened?” He asks.

Jimin tells him about his injury and once again tries his best to hold back his tears. If anyone can understand the level of heartbreak this causes it would be Hoseok.

I can tell Hoseok also doesn’t know how to console his friend, but he tries telling him about someone else he knew that was able to recover from a torn acl. I know he’s just trying to show Jimin that it’s not a career ending injury and he can very well bounce back, but it doesn’t seem like much of that is registering right now. The only thing he’s stuck on is not being able to dance for 6-9 months. For someone that lives and breathes dance, that’s a very long time.

A nurse comes in to give Jimin his discharge papers. He’s given a list of light stretches and exercises to do leading up to his surgery. He’ll still be able to walk on it but they advise him to keep it to a minimum as to not make the injury worse. In two weeks he’ll have surgery and that’s when the hard part of his recovery will begin.

Hoseok takes him home in his car and for some reason I feel the need to follow behind. I don’t know why, but my heart won’t feel at ease until I see him all the way home. They don’t mind me sticking around a bit to help Jimin get settled.

I get him tucked into his bed and give him back all of his things that I took with me from the dance room.

“Thanks again,” Jimin says. “I’m sorry I ruined your project.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” I assure him. “You didn’t ruin anything.”

“But what are you going to do? If I can’t dance what will happen to your project?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll think of something. I’m more worried about you right now.”

“You are?” He asks in disbelief.

“Well…yeah, and you should be worried about yourself too and not my project.”

“Right,” he nods. “Just let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”

“Right now I just want you to rest. That’s what you can do for me.”

I leave him to get some sleep and head back home where I learn that news travels fast across campus. Jin and Namjoon are hanging out in the living room and as soon as I close the door behind me the questions begin.

“What happened?” Jin asks.

“Is he ok?” Namjoon adds.

“Are we talking on the record or off?” I ask Namjoon. I don’t mind telling him what’s going on, I just want to make sure that if anything about Jimin is put in the paper that it’s something he’s ok with. If he wants the whole campus to know then that’s for him to decide, not me.

“Off the record of course. I just want to know if he’s ok.”

“People are saying he passed out,” Jin says with concern. “I heard someone else say he might have a heart problem? He didn’t have a heart attack did he?”

“A heart attack?” I ask shaking my head. It’s crazy the things people come up with. “No, he was practicing and I guess he went down wrong. He’s ok. He will be ok. But he tore his acl.”

Both guys let out an audible gasp. They look at me a moment then at each other.

“He won’t be able to dance?” Namjoon asks. “What about his recital?”

“How long will he be out?” Jin follows up.

“Does Yoongi know yet?”

“Will he need surgery?”

“You were there and saw the whole thing? How did it happen?”

“What will he do if he can’t dance?”

“Will he have to drop out of school?”

“Guys!” I yell overwhelmed with their questioning. “Most of these things you can ask him yourself. But yes, he’ll need surgery and recovery could take 6-9 months. I don’t know what he’s going to do and I don’t think he knows himself right now. He’s home resting now.”

“Sorry,” Jin says. “It’s just things were crazy once word got out that it was Jimin being taken away in the ambulance. We didn’t know what to believe.”

“Yeah, the rumors were getting crazy,” Namjoon added. “I wasn’t going to write anything until I spoke to him first, but as a friend I just wanted to make sure it was nothing serious.”

“Thankfully it’s not,” I sigh. “But you know how he is. He’s going to have a hard time coming to terms with not dancing for a while. Everything he’s been working for is getting put on hold. Poor thing.”

I pull out my camera remembering that I may actually have a picture of how he went down. I scroll to the last shots I took and just as I figured, I have a sequence of about 10 photos taken in quick succession from the moment he lifted up for his jump right to the moment his entire body went down to the floor in pain.

“Did you get something?” Namjoon asks.

“Yeah,” I say unsure if I want to share. There’s nothing graphic since it’s not like a broken bone or anything, but the last photo of him on the floor in pain has my stomach in knots.

Both guys continue looking at me expectantly so I hand my camera to Jin to let them scroll through the photos. Both look just as pained as I did when they see the sequence of photos.

“So,” Jin asks breaking the solemn silence. “Is this how your project ends?”

“I’m not really sure,” I sigh. “I’ll figure something out.”

It’s hard to have to change my entire project when we’re already over a month into the semester. I can stick with what I have but it would seem unfinished since the main focus was Jimin’s performance. If he’s not able to perform then my project no longer has much of a point.

I think hard the rest of the evening and into the next day on how I can salvage this and not completely fail this assignment. Taehyung comes home with me to hangout and work on his own project and I use him to bounce ideas off of.

“What if you just follow a different dancer? Or multiple dancers. Then you can say your subject is all of them and as long as at least one of them are able to perform in the end then you should be fine?” Taehyung suggest sitting at the table on his laptop and snacking on chips.

“That means I would have to befriend more dancers when Hoseok is the only other dancer I know. I don’t know if that would even make sense to have all of this footage of Jimin in the beginning but no one else until later. It doesn’t really flow well.” Just thinking about this has been exhausting.

What’s worse is Jimin has been texting me more apologies for “ruining” my project. The last thing I want is for him to feel like he’s responsible for what happens with my assignment. It’s not his fault, it’s no one’s fault. Accidents happen, I just don’t know how I’m going to adjust at the moment, but I’m sure he’s thinking the same thing about his dancing.

“How’s your project going anyway?” I ask.

“Great! I found a dog and two cats roaming around, and I think soon I may be able to become leader of the campus squirrels.”

“What?” I ask laughing.

“Tutu is their leader now, but I think a lot of the squirrels are starting to trust me more. If I can get them all on my side then I’ll be the new leader,” he says with a straight face.

“Tutu?”

“I named him.”

“Tae,” I say laughing hysterically. “You know you’re only supposed to take pictures of them, right?”

“Really?” He throws a few chips in his mouth and smiles.

“You’re a mess.” I give him a playful nudge still laughing at his silliness.

While he’s showing me his pictures, I get another text from Jimin. Aside from apologizing way too much, he’s been watching a drama I recommended and texting me his live reactions and it’s so entertaining.

[Jimin]: OMG!

[Jimin]: WHY WONT THEY JUST KISS ALREADY!! 😫

[Me]: Lol just be patient

[Jimin]: I’ve been patient for five episodes! 😭

[Me]: I can’t wait until you get to episode 8

[Jimin]: WHAT HAPPENS IN EPISODE 8?!

[Me]: You’ll see 😏

“I got it!” Taehyung shouts.

“Huh?” I say a little startled. “You got what?”

“You and Jimin are already friends and known each other a while, just keep him as the subject of your project. Then you won’t have to start all over.”

“How? He’s not able to dance.”

“Follow his recovery. Maybe he won’t mind since you two are friends, he won’t feel like some stranger is following him around while he’s trying to rest and get better.”

“You think it could work?”

“Of course! You already have photos before he got hurt and photos from when he got hurt.”

It seems odd but the more I think about it the more it makes sense.

“So I could change it from following him to his performance to following him to return to his former self.” I stroke my chin in an exaggerated way thinking that he may be on to something.

“Exactly! It could be like the story of a phoenix rising from the ashes!”

“Ok calm down,” I laugh. “I guess I could ask him and see if he’d be ok with it.”

[Me]: Hey, could I maybe keep taking pictures of you for my project?

[Jimin]: Why? The semester will be over before I’m even close to being able to dance again.

[Me]: I know, but I thought I could just change the angle of my project and document your recovery instead.

[Me]: Only if it’s ok with you. If it would make you uncomfortable you don’t have to.

[Jimin]: Would you go with me to the hospital when I have my surgery?

[Me]: Only if you want me to.

[Jimin]: I’m asking you to.

[Me]: Of course I’ll go with you.

[Jimin]: Then you can keep taking pictures of me 😊

[Jimin]: Thank you, Mina. For everything.

What exactly is everything?

[xoxo-teddybear]

He’s Lost - Bakugou Katsuki - Part 1

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings - Angst, Physical Harm, Cursing, accused Cheating, Katsuki’s insecurities

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

A/N: This is my first writing piece but this has been stuck in my mind since v-day is coming up so I had to get it out. Plz enjoy!!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Summary: Y/N is so busy around Valentine’s, her lack of attention towards her Pomeranian is causing him to freak out and do the worst of the worst

Love is in the air! The birds are singing, The breeze is blowing, the setting sun is shining, and the explosive teen is.....well, bruting.

Can you blame him though? Y/N’s been a little distant ever since February started. Even right now, instead of enjoying their time together in a quiet park, she’s staring down at her phone doing who knows what.

Why? Was he not good enough? Has she gotten tired of him? They’ve only been together for a little over a year. Is she talking to someon- no. Katsuki stopped himself from thinking like that. There’s no way his precious teddy bear would ever do that. Not only that, he was the best there is. Why would she even try to go?

“You dumbass. You’re missing this.” Bakugou sighed. “Huh? What? Missing what?” Y/N looked around looking for whatever “this” was until Bakugou grabbed her chin to force her to look him in the eyes. “THIS DUMBASS! US! You’re so focused on that dumb phone. Jeez, can’t a guy just get his girl’s attention.” Bakugou said dramatically.

It wasn’t that Y/N wasn’t giving him attention, it’s that it wasn’t the same. Yea she right there snuggled into his arm. And yea she was petting his hair just the way he liked. And YES, she was peppering his face with kisses from time to time. But it all felt off? Like only half her energy was put into the love and affection.

“Suki, aren’t u being a little dramatic. I’m right here with you baby. I’m sorry if I’ve been a little distracted. Come here dummy.” And as Y/N pulls Bakugou in for a tighter hug all he can do is release a “hmph” while falling into it...until her phone went (ding!) once again. And she went to check it. Once again.

Bakugou was getting tired so he got up and suggested they’d head back to UA. Y/N only got up and began to walk beside him, hand in hand, while still checking her phone time to time. And Bakugou was getting sick of it

*Wtf is she doing on that piece of junk? What could be so important she would half ass our entire evening together? .....Could she possibly be talking to someone else?............no.* Bakugou let those negative thoughts die down as they continued their journey back.

——————————————————————————

A few days later

“COME ON!!” Bakugou screamed as he realeased a blast towards Kirishima. When Bakugou invited him to train, The red head initially thought it was to ...you know..TRAIN. But after some time, the blonde’s best friend began to see the bigger picture.

“Dude. What’s up with you man? We always go full on during training, but it’s not even like you’re trying to hit me. It feels like you’re just taking your anger out on me.” Kirishima said.

“Congrats on noticing shitty hair, I’m glad somebody’s noticing my damn mood.” Weirded out by his friend’s unusual openness, the red head continued to ask.

“So what’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“But you just-“

“NOPE!”

Bakugou exclaimed as he began to gather his stuff to leave the training area. “BAKUGOU!” Kiri shouted. “WHAT!” “.......it’s Y/N isn’t it?”

Upon hearing that, the blonde turned to look at his best friend with this sad puppy dog look. And man, if Katsuki had doggy ears, everyone would see how low they’d go. His best friend didn’t need to see it though, he could tell those ears would be 6 ft under if they were actually there bc there’s nothing hiding Katsuki’s vulnerability when it comes to Y/N. As the two best friends go to sit on the bleachers, Bakugou takes a deep breath before saying his thoughts.

“I think Y/N is cheating on me.”

“................HUH???!!!!”

Kirishima went from “caring and considerate” to “WHATDIDHESAYYY” in seconds. Y/N L/N?? Cheating?? Ok. Y/N was one fiesty girl, and she definitely had sass, power, attitude, and a little mischief, but she also had kindness, compassion, consideration, and honesty flowing though her. Not to mention extreme loyalty. There’s no way.

“Look man, with all due respect, I think you’ve finally lost it.” The red head laughed. “I’m being serious shitty hair.” The blonde stated. “She’s been so distracted lately. She’s always with me but it’s like her mind is also somewhere else. And not to mention that damn phone she’s always on now. She can’t go 30 minutes without checking it at least twice. And not only that, when she does leave to do whatever, she’s gone for hours at a time! What’s a guy supposed to think with all of that?! I mean it’d make sense if she wanted to leave. I get it, I can get loud, and yell, and I get angry a lot but.. she knows I never mean it, right? I call her a dumbass like i do everyone else...ugh but she isn’t just everyone else, she’s my girlfriend and she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.....SO WHY TF IS SHE CHEATIN-“ before the blonde could continue, his best friend cut him off.

“BAKUGOU” “WHAT??!!” “....talk to her.” Kirishima said. “What?” Bakugou asked. Kirishima continued. “Cheating is a real sensitive topic in a relationship. I don’t wanna give my opinion on something that could ruin something amazing. C’mon man, we both know Y/N isn’t like that but who am I to tell you what to do. I wanna help, I do, but I think it’s best if you go to her with all this. Honestly though, if you asked me, Y/N would be the last person I’d ever think of when it came to cheating on ANYTHING. Especially the guy she cares so much about.” And with that last sentence, Kirishima stood up from his spot and pat Bakugou on his shoulder before exiting.

With Bakugou left with nothing but his thoughts and Kirishima’s advice, he left and headed straight towards your room.

——————————————————————————

“Shut up!” You excitingly screamed though the phone. “You really found the last part?”

“Yup, it only took about 6 different stores across the entire city.” Shinsou sarcastically replied. “You owe me.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know and I appreciate it. Katsuki’s gonna love his gift!” You said.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, you’ve been preparing only the best Valentine’s Day surprise for the best boyfriend in the world. You’ve been so busy planning your surprise that I guess you could say you haven’t been giving Katsuki the massive amount of attention he’s used to from you, but you can definitely say it’ll all be worth it when he sees one of his presents that you’ve been working on. A silencer for his gauntlet blasts that not only decreases the volume of his attacks, but also increases his attack power. You remember how Bakugou had vented about his attacks being too loud that they scare people, but when he tried to keep them quiet, the attack isn’t as powerful so saving can be quite difficult. He only spoke about it once, but you could see the look on his face whenever he was out using his quirk around civilians. So why not give him a device that’ll help with his loud little problem. Now were you a support class student who knew how to make support items? Hell no. But were you a loving girlfriend willing to give her man the best Valentine’s Day ever? Hell yeah.

The piece of gear would’ve been easier to make IF it weren’t for a pesky piece of the project getting destroyed by Shinsou after he made Denki electrocute himself while he was right next to your prototype on the table. So to make it up to you, Shinsou went all around town looking for the piece you needed to complete your support item for Katsuki. Finally, all pieces had come together.

“He better. That damn bastard doesn’t know how amazing his girlfriend is. Instead of ignoring his ass these past few weeks, you sent ME to get all this shit for you so you could keep your precious Pomeranian happy.” Shinsou said while rolling his baggy eyes.

As Bakugou approached the outside of your dorm room’s door, he heard your voice.

“You know, you’re so right. That Pomeranian is unaware of just exactly how amazing I am. I really could’ve left whenever but I stuck around.” You snorted. “Well I’m glad I had you with me through it all Shinsou.”

*Pomeranian? SHINSOU?!? Through IT ALL?!?!? YOU WERE WITH THAT PURPLE HAIRED, SLEEP DEPRIVED ASS MIND CONTROLLING FREAK?!?? AND YOU WERE WITH HIM THE ENTIRE TIME YOU’VE BEEN DATING BAKUGOU?!?*

Oh to say Katsuki was pissed was an understatement. He felt all these emotions hitting him all at once. Anger, Disgust, Pain, Betrayal. It all became too much for him before Katsuki ran away from your down with his bed down and silent tears hitting the floor. When he let himself fall to the floor in the privacy of his room he screamed into his hands. His first love, his first real relationship, his teddy bear betraying his love, loyalty, and trust for over an entire year. After hours of crying, Katsuki was able to pull himself into bed. He couldn’t even bring himself to shower even though he spent all that time in the gym with Kirishima. He just wanted to sleep to escape reality. As he looked at his phone, he saw 1 missed call from Y/N, and 1 text saying “Goodnight love💗💥!” Bakugou scoffed at the text. Figuring u must be texting Shinsou the same thing. As Bakugou placed his phone down, an evil thought came to mind. Ruin her.

Bakugou smirked to himself as he had this pyscho and sinister look on his face. He would ruin Y/N. They haven’t officially broken up yet, so he could hurt her just as she hurt him. And Bakugou wasn’t stupid or so he thought he’s aware Valentine’s is coming up, so why not break little Y/N L/N’s heart on a day dedicated to nothing but love and happiness. It’ll be the perfect revenge on a little satin like her. Bakugou finally turned on his side with an evil, satisfied smile, and fat tears in his eyes once more.

——————————————————————————

The next morning, Katsuki got up with a broken heart, but he figured if he wanted his plan to work, he had to fake this smile. Getting up, getting ready, and getting dressed was business as usual, but meeting up with Y/N in the morning was now off the schedule. Instead of going into her room to check on her like he usually does, he just went straight to breakfast and straight to class without speaking to anyone.

With Class 1-A seated and Mr.Aizawa at the head of the classroom, the students can finally start their first lesson of the day. Until, the door slid wide open. There stood an exhausted and quite frankly dishelved Y/N. “My apologies sensei. I was up late last night and overslept. Please forgive me.” Y/N said as she bowed her head in sorry. “Just take your seat L/N.” The tired eye teacher said.

As Y/N walked to her desk, she noticed Bakugou wouldn’t even glance her way. She was a little thrown off since it would be normal for him to at least give her a judgemental look for sleeping in, but no. Nothing.

Bakugou on the other hand was writhing in agony. Oh how he wanted to check on Y/N and make sure everything was fine, but that voice in the back of his head couldn’t help but tell him to ignore her since she’s a cheater. She may have been the girl he’s loved dearest, but she was also the one causing his heart to shatter.

After a few classes, Y/N tried to approach Bakugou several times, but each time he brushed her off. And when the bell finally rang for lunch, you can bet Katsuki was the first one out the door. Y/N followed him of course, in worry and concern.

“Babe! Baby! Katsuuu!!! KATSUKII!” Y/N whined for her boyfriend to at least look at her but once again. Nothing. Bakugou wanted to hug her and hold her tight but he couldn’t. Not after what she’s done. Right before Bakugou entered the cafeteria, Y/N pulled him aside and held onto his wrists.

“Baby? Hey, what’s up with you? I’ve been calling your name and trying to talk to you but you keep brushing me off. You also didn’t stop by this morning. Is something wrong, love?” Y/N was hoping for something. ANYTHING at this point. And it was like the gods heard her prayer because she definitely got....something. “My bad.” The blonde haired boy dryly replied. “....Oh, um, ok suki.” The poor girl just thought her dear boyfriend was having a bad day, so she just left it alone and let him go. But still, even on his worse days he would at least visit her in the mornings. As they sat down with the bakusquad, the entire table noticed how Bakugou sat up and moved across from Y/N after she chose to sit next to him like usual. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife, and Kirishima could already feel what had gone down. He at least knew his bro didn’t talk to his girl. Not manly at all.

——————————————————————————

Valentine’s Day

During lunch, Kirishima has finally decided to speak to Bakugou about this whole thing. He hasn’t been getting any updates since their time in the gym, so when it was just him and his best friend having lunch together, he went for it.

“Man what the hell is going on with you and Y/N? I’ve noticed you’ve been avoiding her like crazy,” Kirishima said while stuffing his face, nervous about the answer. “I was right all along.” The blonde sadly spoke. “She’s been cheating on me since the start of our entire relationship. And with that baggy eyed freak from 1-B.”

Kirishima couldnt believe what he was hearing. He almost choked on his food. Y/N was actually cheating. I guess people don’t know people as well as he thought. “.....wow...I’m sorry man.” The red haired friend said. He was at a lost for words and didn’t know what else to say. *sigh* “don’t be. It all goes down tonight.” Bakugou said with a sad smile. “What do you mean?” His friend asked. The blonde looked at him right in his red eyes. “I’m breaking her heart tonight, on the one day of the year dedicated to love.”

Meanwhile

Instead of going to lunch, Y/N spent her time finishing up Katsuki’s surprise in his room. Yeah, he’s been having a bad past few days so why not bring him a smile with these amazing gifts on the day of love. Although Y/N didn’t really feel the love today (due to Katsuki again being so distant and ignoring her “good morning blasty💥💗!” And “Happy Valentine’s Day my love♥️!” Texts) she was determined to make sure Katsuki knew just exactly how much she loved him. She was almost done setting up in his room. Rose petals on the bed, Candles everywhere, 4 different gifts including his new support item made by you, his favorite meal is going to be set here on his table, and you and him together spending every loving second with each other. Y/N didn’t realize that because of her setup, she missed the entire rest of the day. “Meh, so worth it when I see the look on Suki’s face.” Tonight is going to be perfect.....or so you thought.

You didn’t expect to find Katsuki in your room, sitting on the edge of you bed waiting for you with his head hanging low and his shoulders slumped.

*maybe he has a surprise for me....? Yea that has to be it!* Y/N happily thought as she closed the door.

“Suki!! Happy Valentine’s Day!” Y/N said with all the love in her heart as she ran and jumped on the boy for a hug. But Bakugou didn’t say anything. He didn’t move. He just glanced back up at her, giving her this cold stare. Y/N was too busy professing her undying love for her boyfriend to even notice his scary silence. “Suki I’m really glad it’s you who I have in my life,” the love sicken girl bashfully spoke while looking at the ground. “You make me so happy and I feel so blessed being able to spend my life with you in it. I really hope you know just how much I care and lov-“ Bakugou couldn’t listen to this bullshit anymore. He pushed Y/N off of him just before she could say those 3 words that would get him to break.

“Hey! Suki? Why would you do that?!” Y/N exclaimed while standing back up. “I hate you.” The blonde spoke coldly. As those words left his mouth, Y/N heart and world were falling apart. Her eyes went wide open and her jaw slightly dropped. As she was about to say something else, Katsuki cut her off with “I’m breaking up with your dumbass. Right here. Right now!” Bakugou yelled. Y/N was in shock. She felt hurt, pain, she was just feeling so broken.

As tears filled her eyes, she asked “w-why?” as she tried to reach out to him. “Why? WHY?!” Bakugou screamed as he stood up above her slapping her hand away. “THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHY, Y/N. YOU’RE A FUCKING CHEATER, THATS WHY!” The blonde yelled in her face. Y/N couldn’t believe it. He thought she was cheating? Why would she even do that? She already has the best person in the world for her so why? “DONT EVEN GIVE ME THAT “it didn’t mean anything, Suki!” BULLSHIT. I DONT GIVE A FUCK, CUZ YOU’VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME AND PLAYING ME FOR A DAMN FOOL THIS ENTIRE FUCKING TIME!” Bakugou went on as his voice began to crack while tears flowed down his porcelain face. “YOU LIED TO ME. I GAVE YOU MY ENTIRE BEING AND YOU FUCKING LIED. YOU DUMB FUCKING BITCH, I CANT BELIEVE I EVER LOVED A SORRY EXCUSE OF A PERSON LIKE YOU. I HATE YOU SO DAMN MUCH, I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK I SAW IN YOU!” Y/N’s heart hit the ground. No actually, it went 6 ft under because after all that he’s said, her heart is dead. Broken. In agony. “Suki I-“ “DONT FUCKING CALL ME THAT L/N.” Hearing him refer to her with her family name hit so hard. “KATSUKI PLEASE! I DIDNT DO ANYTHING I SWEA-“ as Y/N tried to reach out to him, he interrupted her again and pushed her hand away. “I SAID DONT CALL ME THAT!”

The blonde yelled, except this time....he didn’t only yell. The burning scent of smoke came into his nose and the loud explosion could be heard throughout the building. The product of what he just did came to him. He just attacked the love of his life. As much as Y/N hurt him, Katsuki still loved her with his everything. And the fact that he subconsciously attacked her broke him even more. Y/N’s screams of pain reached his ears, as he looked down and saw his precious teddy bear with a burned arm and fat tears on her face, crying in pain.

Bakugou ran down to her level to try and help her. “Y/N! Hey, hey teddy bear look I’m so-“ Y/N pushed him away before he could continue. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU BAKUGOU?!” Ouch. His family name felt like poison coming from your tongue. “Princess, I’m sorry I didn’t-“ “SHUT UP AND LET ME SPEAK FOR ONCE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” Y/N screamed as she stood up to face him. “I DIDNT FUCKING CHEAT ON YOU. WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT WHEN YOU’RE THE BEST DAMN THING THATS EVER HAPPENED TO ME?!..ah!” Y/N was cut off by the stinging of her wound, and Bakugou couldn’t do anything but stare. Y/N grabbed onto her wound before continuing. “I love you Bakugou. I wouldn’t even dream about doing wrong by you. I thought I was a good girlfriend or at least a good person-“ Bakugou quickly interrupted “No! Y/N you are, I just-“ “If I am then what the hell made you even think of me so lowly? What the hell did I do to make you question my loyalty? What the hell did I do that was worthy of you burning my fucking arm?!” Y/N cried out.

Silence fell upon the room. It felt like hours before anybody said anything. Both people had heavy tears in their face now. One crying because he realized he was an idiot and harmed the girl who did nothing wrong, and One crying because she did nothing wrong but ended up being a villain in her loved one’s life. Y/N broke the silence with a scoff.

“You know what Suki?” Y/N said looking him in the eyes. “Yes teddy bear?” Bakugou quickly replied with wide, desperate eyes upon hearing the loving nickname, thinking they would move on from this horrible incident. “Get the fuck out.” Y/N said in a low voice. Bakugou was shocked. He knew he fucked up horribly but after realizing the truth, he can’t leave you! He loves you too damn much for that! “What? Y/N please listen to me, I’m sor-“ “I DONT GIVE A FUCK! Leave..please.” The sad girl cried. Bakugou grabbed onto her shoulders begging her to not end this. “Y/N please! Please princess! I’m so fucking sorry! I’m an idiot, I know, and I definitely don’t deserve you but please I can’t lose you.” Bakugou said with tears falling down his face. “Please don’t do this to us. Please don’t do this to me, I’m BEGGING YOU.” “Bakugou-“ The sad boy cut you off, shaking his head, “ NO ITS SUKI. YOUR SUKI. YOUR KATSUKI.......please teddy bear I need you.......h-here let me help yo-”

You harshly pushed the boy off of you and as he tried to desperately go back to you, you used your quirk to keep him at bay. “Bakugou Katsuki. I’m leaving this room since you won’t, and I won’t come back until I know you’re out of my room.” Y/N began as she looked at him with cold, sad eyes. “From now on, you won’t have to worry about this bitch because I’ll stay out of your life, I swear. Don’t look at me, don’t touch me, DONT EVEN TALK TO ME. Just leave me alone....we’re done.” And with that Y/N ran out of her room, and out of the building, needing to get away from the place for a little bit. She could deal with her wound later. She just needed to get away. Bakugou just stood there in sadness and shock. As much as he wanted to run after you, he figured he’d give you a little breather. You guys could fix things in the morning...right?

Bakugou waited an hour in your room waiting for you, but you were right. You really weren’t coming back until he left your private area. So that’s what he did. With a heavy heart, he picked himself up and dragged his feet back to his dorm. He looked like a mess. He knew he did. Messy hair, red swollen eyes, dry lips. His entire body screamed heartbroken. When he open the door, instant regret and love hit him at once. His room was covered with rose petals and flowers, there were candles everywhere, heart shaped balloons all around, he had 4 different boxes of gifts, and two plates of extra spicy curry was set on his table, obviously cold now. What caught his eye was that one of the gift boxes had a note attached to it. With tears in his eyes, he read it.

Hey Suki! It’s Valentine’s Day! I love you to the moon and back and so much more. There’s no words that are able to describe the way I feel about you. You drive me insane in all the right ways and I love it! Lol. I hope you like your Valentine’s Day surprise. I’ve been working for weeks on it, so I’m sorry if I’ve been a little distracted. I know I’ve been kinda absent these past few days but I promise I’ll make it up to you love! Hopefully I can start with this gift that I’ve been working on. Enjoy your brand new grenade silencer! Made it myself just for you. There’s nothing else in the world like this. I love you Bakugou Katsuki!

(P.S. If Shinsou from 1-B gives you shit about it, it’s because I made him drag his ass everywhere to look for a missing part so I wouldn’t have to leave you so much)

XOXO, Your forever teddy bear <3

As he quickly opened the gift, he saw it. A silencer that would attach to his gauntlets to make the sound quieter and the blast even more powerful. It was incredible. You are incredible. He only ever mentioned the sound of his blasts once, and you listened and you fixed it.

Bakugou shook as tears began to fall onto the paper. He couldn’t believe it. Everything started coming together now. The reason you were so distracted was because you were setting this up for him. You were always on the phone because you were assembling pieces and ordering gifts for him. You weren’t cheating on him with Shinsou. You were making sure he could find something that you needed for him. Y/N L/N was truly the best girlfriend in the world. Scratch that, she is the best girlfriend in the world. No scratch that too, she’s just the best, period. And Bakugou’s idiotic self ruined everything for him. All because he couldn’t have a little faith in his teddy bear. As Katsuki cried and cried, he set everything aside.

He took the petals off his bed. He didn’t deserve it. He blew out the candles around his room. He didn’t deserve it. He popped the balloons, and ignored the food. He laid in bed with more tears than ever, and looked at the ceiling. He finally turned to his side to fall asleep, but not before grabbing the picture on his bedside nightstand. A picture of you and him. He remembers that picture oh so clearly. It was his birthday, and while he didn’t want to celebrate, you did everything in your power to make it the best one yet. And you did just that. Bakugou hugged that picture so tight, because he didn’t have you in his arms tonight. He didn’t think he would ever have you in his arms again. So Bakugou Katsuki continued to cry until he was asleep, escaping from the reality of him losing his love, his teddy bear, his princess, and his Y/N.

Bakugou Katsuki never lost, no. He’s always been ahead, always number one, always the best. He always won and achieved and nothing ever stopped him. Except this time, the only thing that stopped him and caused him to lose, was himself. He lost. He lost his everything. His world, his rock, his heart, his Y/N. He’s lost without her in his life, and at this point he thinks he’s lost at life. There was nothing that could fix him unless it was you coming back to him.

Bakugou Katsuki? He’s lost.

A/N: HOLY SHIT! That was my very first writing piece and it was just a Drabble of a thought I’ve been having. Sorry if it’s a little off and weird, I’m still new to writing but hopefully I’ll get better. This was NOT spell checked so my apologies for any mistakes. I hope you enjoyed reading this! Thx for the love!

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

au where Ray, Sissy and Harlan come back to the future with the academy and Klaus makes a big event of locking everyone in the library and giving a ridiculous powerpoint that’s like ‘How To Speed Run The Past 70 Or Whatever Years’ (Five from where he’s been handcuffed to the bar: “it’s 55 you dumbass-). highlights include:

- opening with a picture from the jfk assassination (since they were all a little busy when that was going on) with a big :( drawn over it

- a fifty minute long side-tracked rant about the Vietnam war that only Five is interested in

- “And finally, after a long, painful battle for the sensible people of the world...the Beatles were Defeated”

- “Highlight this note because it WILL be on the test later- Britney Spears was born on December 2nd, 1981″

- “So one day in 1989 43 babies with magic powers were born from women who hadn’t been pregnant, and like? you know? no one ever really looked into that further? we’re in our 30s, I feel like we should have some answers by now?’

 “Speaking of 1989, there’s this fantastic album-” 

   Vanya: “Klaus they don’t need to know who Taylor Swift is-”

   Diego: “Let Him Speak.”

- “And on this day I was innocently reading a magazine and discovered my previously beloved sister Allison is friends with Beyonce and she never bothered to introduce me or invite me to a single party-” *powerpoint slide switches to a picture with Allison’s head photoshopped onto a snake* *Sissy asks who Beyonce is and that turns into another sidetracked explanation that takes nearly two hours and involves Everyone screaming*

- “And this is when Luther went to the moon-”

   Ray: “the...moon? the fucking moon?”

   Klaus: “didn’t the moon landing happen for you guys yet?”

   Allison: “no that was ‘69???”

   Klaus: “FUCK”

   Luther: “Can you try to go in order? You didn’t even tell them Dad’s an alien yet-”

  everyone: W H A T?!!?!?!!?!

- 2004: the tragic beginnings of Vanya’s weaboo stage 

- 2006: Diego has his first kiss with an Ambassadors daughter after a mission and IMMEDIATELY pukes on her after they finish. (next slide features news footage of the event; Luther has to hold Diego back from attacking Klaus while everyone else is losing their shit)

- “Klaus I really don’t think Twilight counts as a historical event”

   Five: “No, actually, it does-”

- *2 hours spent infodumping about Chernobyl while his audience gets progressively more drunk*

- “Klaus, can we please move on from the 90s already-”

  “THEY NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE MEDIA DID TO WINONA RYDER”

- footage of Allison’s Less Than Graceful reaction when she got snubbed at the Oscar’s one year

- at some point he tries to explain Modern Speak(tm) and Internet Culture(tm) to them and it ends up going like this:

- “anyway here’s a list of probable war crimes our dad committed”

- *explanation of Ellen DeGeneres’ entire career from start to finish*

- *footage of 14 year old Luther dancing like he got a touchdown after he killed a man in battle*

- Cha Cha Slide: The Song That Changed Everything

- he slips an Entirely Fake historical event in there just to prank them and his siblings try to call him out on it but then Five backs him up because he’s drunk and wants to cause problems. Three Years Later Ray will still mention something about like The Fall Of Telephonia that resulted after a bloody battle between the two rulers and whoever he’s talking to just like. smiles and nods politely

- “And here’s the news clip where 10 year old Five found out on live air that Santa Claus isn’t real. We literally never saw him smile ever again after this”

- he starts explaining Kardashian/Jenner scandals as if they’re political scandals

but anyway. not the most educational lesson plan but I want everyone to have a break and laugh thank you goodnight lmao

[space-helen]

Back To Vegas - Chapter 4

Words: 1948

Pairing: Nick Stokes x reader

A/N: Case is unfolding now!! I promise there’ll be more Nick and Reader moments in the next chapter

CH1     CH2      CH3     CH4    CH5   CH6   CH7   CH8

______________________

“Y/N?” You looked up from the evidence gathered at Hallie’s house that was out on the table.

“Greg?”

“New DB just came in. Want to join me?” he questioned stepping into the room. 

You looked at Grissom opposite you and he gestured towards Greg “Go. I’ll be ok with this. Catherine will be back in a second anyway.”

You stood and began to leave, Greg leading the way. “You wanna drive?”

“Uhh I think you should. I still don’t know Vegas that well.”

The man laughed “You’ll get to know it soon enough. I’m surprised Nick hasn’t taken you on a tour yet.” 

You got into the car with the man “Well we haven’t exactly had the time yet.”

“I was going to ask Nick if he wanted to come hiking soon and you’re more than welcome to join to.” The man started the engine.

“I’ll ask him later. Thank you”

“My pleasure. So Y/N tell me what sort of stuff are you into?”

The entire car ride was spent talking about your hobbies and getting to know the man, allowing him to talk about the history of Vegas and his friendship with Nick.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make too much of an effort to get to know you. Or come and see you and Nick. I was actually kind of nervous. I knew you were a big part of his life and I didn’t want to scare you away or something.”

“Don’t apologise or worry about it. It would have been nice to get to know you sooner, don't get me wrong. But you and Nick were always calling each other so I feel like I know you anyway.”

“Same to you. He spoke about you a lot, you know. Still does.”

You rolled your eyes “As much as I love the man can we move away from the relationship talk? I feel like I’ve been grilled and questioned by everyone about it.”

“Alright. No relationship talk.” The man pulled into the drive of a house. The police presence around the house was instantly noticeable.

“High profile?” 

The man shrugged “I don’t think so.”

The two of you got out of the vehicle and grabbed your kits, quickly moving towards the house.

“Why so many officers?” you questioned an older looking man by the front door.

“The body is fresh. Found by his kid. He was a professor and writer. The kid said he saw a woman leaving.”

You thanked the man and entered the house, Greg right behind you. The two of you saw a teenager in the corridor with a detective “Hi.” you greeted them.

“Sanders and?” the detective enquired.

“Y/L/N” you replied and stretched out your hand. 

He shook it “Wentz” The man turned to the teenager “This is Steff Nichols, Mr Nichols, the vic’s, son.” He turned to the man “Tell them what you saw.”

Steff fidgeted “I came home from tutoring early and shouted for my Dad. I knew he was in, he never leaves on a Thursday night. He has to be home to watch his favourite show. I didn’t hear a response so I looked for him and came to his room and found him on his bed grasping at his chest. I went to run for my bag and cell phone and saw that someone was running down our drive I didn’t chase her I called nine one one and went to try help him.” he was visibly upset.

“Don’t feel bad you did the right thing.” you re-assured “Have you given Detective Wentz a description of what she looked like?”

He nodded “The best I could.”

“Did you touch anything in the room?” Greg asked from beside you.

“No. My focus was on Dad and… he was gone by the time help got here.”

“Did they touch anything?” Greg asked.

“Nothing. Just the father” Wentz replied.

The two of you nodded. “Stay with the detective alright?” Greg told the kid as the two of you continued down the corridor to the room his father lay.

The room was large and the man lay on the floor next to his bed, far from the door. You took a picture as soon as you entered the room. You slowly approached the body and took more as Greg fell into step with you.

Something caught Gregs eye as he approached the opposite nightstand. “Y/N look” he pointed at a vial on the nightstand as he began to rush out of the room “I’ll ask if they left anything.”

You took a picture of the vial before placing your kit down and picking up the vial. Greg was back with you within seconds “They didn’t even take anything out of their packs. Anything they did was over by the body.”

You read the label and passed it to Greg who now had an open evidence bag. “Potassium.” He sealed the bag and read it through the plastic. 

“These cases are more intertwined than we thought.”

“Is it ok if I call Nick? He said that his vic looked like they OD’d but maybe it was something connected to this? Can you call David to check for puncture marks on Hallie?”

He nodded “You call Nick.” Greg brought his phone out of his pocket and walked to the otherside of the room to make his call. Slipping out your phone you quickly called Nick.

“Everything ok?” Nick’s voice was curious

“Yeah.” you pushed some stray hairs back “I’m with Greg with the new DB. We found a vial of potassium here. I know you said your case looked like a general overdose in a motel but be sure to check for Potassium in her bloodstream. We’ll explain more later.”

“Sure, sure. Ours vic had a pretty big concoction of drugs in her stream. We initially thought she was a long time user but she wasn’t at all. I’ll check again for potassium.”

“Thanks Nicky. I’m just finishing this scene and we’ll be back to properly fill you in”

“No problem Darlin’. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“See you in a bit. Love you.”

“I love you too.” 

With that you hung up the call and turned back around, Greg stood on the other side of the room with a smirk on his face and arms crossed around his chest. “Love you Nicky.” he teased.

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face “What? Are you jealous Greggo?”

“Don’t you dare.” he laughed “Let’s get back to the scene shall we?”

You composed yourself “Sure.”

The two of you collected the evidence efficiently and effectively and were soon walking back to the car. Bringing out your phone you checked your messages “Nick says there was potassium in his vic.”

“Right. David said he found puncture marks in Hallie too. This calls for a proper meeting.” Greg slid into the driver’s seat and brought out his phone. He began to frantically tap the screen before locking it and putting it away.

Just as he put it down your phone vibrated and you pulled it out.

“It’s only me.”

You read the text on the screen calling for a team meeting upon your return. 

“I’ll drop the evidence off ready to be properly processed then make my way over to the meeting.” you pulled your seatbelt across as he pulled away from the scene.

“Did Nick tell you about that time he left evidence in his car and-”

“Yeah.” you laughed “He gets pretty embarrassed about it.”

“I would too. It was a rough day.”

“When he told me the story I instantly got second hand embarrassment and it lives in my head rent free now. I’ll never leave evidence in a car.”

The journey was quick and you both leaped out the car. Greg chucked you his keys before rushing inside. You grabbed all of the evidence from the trunk and locked up before following Gregs footsteps inside. 

You quickly dropped off the evidence and hurried to the breakout room. Greg was straight ahead of you at the back centre of the room as you entered. Slipping inside you stood by the door next to Sara.

“I’ve called you here because it looks like all of our cases are linked. Each of them are all linked with a potassium overdose or elevated levels in their stream. Y/N and I just got back from a scene where an older man, a professor and writer was found having a heart attack by his son and he saw a woman fleeing the scene but stayed to help his dad.”

Greg paused and looked around the room before continuing. “We need to find the link between these cases. We’ll all be working together from now on. I want the teams to review all evidence from now on. Finish whatever you were doing and come join Y/N and I with your evidence.”

The group split up and you were soon falling into step with Greg. You spread the evidence out across the table and began to upload the crime scene photos before joining Greg back at the table.

Nick was the first to join you. He placed a box of evidence down on the table and stood beside you. Sara and Grissom were quick on his heels with more boxes. Nick’s hand settled on the small of your back as he leaned forward and used his free hand to sift through some evidence.

Sara got to work looking through all of the crime scene photos and Catherine was soon coming into the room with armfull’s of paperwork.

The team worked effortlessly together. Looking through evidence and moving around the room smoothly, lending knowledge effectively and researching as appropriate.

You pulled out the picture strip found on Hallie and looked over the faces with her in the booth. “This face is familiar.” you showed Greg next to you.

He took the strip from your hands “That’s Shana. The first vic. The teacher.” He held up the strip to the room “We’ve found out first link. Find out how they know each other.”

Catherine took the strip from Greg “On it.”

People began to leave the room, finding new clues and going to research them Greg had to excuse himself to take a call but he was soon returning.

“Sara, Y/N.”

“Yep.”

“New Dead body for you both. Could be connected.”

The two of you were soon leaving. “I never thought something like this would be my first case in Vegas.” you admitted to Sara.

“Vegas is different.” Sara laughed “It’s thrown us all straight into the deep end.”

“You can say that again.” 

The scene was a small nicely furnished home. It wasn’t high end but not low end either. The surrounding houses were full of families. The victim was Tessa Spencer, a woman in her 30s found dead in her living room by her brother. Sara and you processed the scene swiftly.

“Do you have any idea who could have done this? Did she have any enemies?” Sara questioned Tessa’s brother, Julian.

“A lot of people liked her. She was a really good person.”

“I know but you really need to think for us. Is there anyone who would want to see her hurt?”

He sighed. “I know she had a disagreement with our cousin last week. She mentioned it over the phone. The two have never really got on. She’s definitely spiralled over the years.”

“Would you say your cousin is capable of murder?”

“Yeah. Most definitely. They were on trial a couple of years ago”

“Who?”

“Hannah West”

Sara’s head snapped to Julian “I beg your pardon.”

Next Chapter

Tag List: (open)

CSI:

Nick Stokes: @wanniiieeee​  @pumpkinfriend

[ghostgothgeek]

Chaos.

Another for the Phic Phight! This one kinda combines two prompts and I had so much fun writing it! In this, Danny and Tucker don’t know Sam plays video games yet. 5,063 words.

"What do you mean you don’t feel the same way? We´ve had a mutual crush on each other for years." Sam says angrily after finally confessing her love to him. But Danny´s heart was beating hard for someone else entirely. Prompt by phantomfana. 

Danny wants to ask his crush to the upcoming school dance. Prompt by Rikaleeta.

-----

It was another long night of ghost hunting for Danny. Technus took up the first part of the night, trying to take over the park’s new security system. Tucker was fortunately still awake to help him out with that. Then Johnny and Kitty rolled in, but they weren’t looking for trouble, they just wanted a date night and swore they wouldn’t be a problem. Apparently Fridays were their days off for “everything but each other”. Danny was a romantic, but he didn’t know if this was sweet or nauseating. Ember had put up a good fight, though. He was proud he only had one injury to tend to. He had dodged most of her attacks, but she was still a pretty advanced ghost. And, of course, Danny had caught the Box Ghost six, count them, SIX times. How did he always manage to get out?! He wasn’t difficult to take down, he was just a pest. 

Danny sighed as he sat down at his computer chair. It was only 12:30 am, and it was a Friday. He could sleep in tomorrow and he deserved at least a couple hours of fun. He logged into his online gaming account and saw Tucker was online. Figures. He pulled up the chat anyway. 

Astrohaunt: Hey Tuck. Still up?

Technopedia: You know it. Chaos signed on about a half hour ago and I’m not passing up the opportunity.

Astrohaunt: Dude is so good it’s unreal!

Technopedia: He goes to our school, I tracked one of his IP addresses and he logged in at school a few times.

Astrohaunt: Tucker wtf. That’s creepy!

Technopedia: I just want to make sure Chaos is actually a kid and not Lancer again!

Astrohaunt: I still can’t wrap my mind around Lancer playing Doomed…

Technopedia: Same. But Chaos IP is different from Lancer, so we good. Unless more teachers play Doomed.

Astrohaunt: I hate you for putting that image into my brain.

Technopedia: Sorry dude. But quick come join before someone else gets Chaos.

Danny, Tucker, and Chaos had made a great team. Whenever Chaos was around, they were actually able to progress through the game. They played several rounds until Tucker was caught by his mom and was forced to sign off, but Danny and Chaos kept playing. 

TeamChaos: Hey, what’s up?

Astrohaunt: Omg dude you’re so awesome. 

TeamChaos: Ha, thanks. Gotta blow off steam somehow. 

Astrohaunt: Tell me about it! Between Lancer’s three projects and midterms and...other stuff...this is my only time to actually chill. I’ve been so stressed!

TeamChaos: Same. I did finish one of the projects though. I’m always here if you need to talk, you know. 

Astrohaunt: Wow, I may just take you up on that offer. I’ve had a rough night.

TeamChaos: Lay it on me.

And so Danny, sparing the ghost hunting details, stayed up chatting with Chaos until 5 am. He got along really well with the guy, they had a lot of similar interests. This was just the first of many up-all-night conversations they shared. After a few months, Danny felt a special connection with Chaos, and yet, he didn’t even know his name! 

Astrohaunt: We’ve been talking all these months and I still don’t know your name. I’m Danny. 

TeamChaos: Oh, thought you knew. It’s Sam!

Astrohaunt: Hey! One of my best friends is named Sam! 

TeamChaos: You don’t say!!!

The next day at school, Danny pulled Tucker over to him, whispering, “Dude, help. I think I might be gay....” 

“What?!” Tucker shouted.

“Quiet, Tuck!” 

“Okay, well uh...why?” Tucker sent him a weird look and took a step back. 

“No, not you. Chaos. I think I have a crush on Chaos.” Danny ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what to do! I never thought I’d be...you know. Chaos and I just have good conversations and he’s always there to listen to me when I need to vent. I thought maybe I found another best friend but...this is different. Chaos is so cool and I’m crushing and I don’t even know who he is or what he looks like! Or if he feels the same way! Maybe I’m just stupid and-”

“Dude, chill. You’re jumping too far ahead of yourself. Whichever way you, you know, swing...I’m still your best friend.” Tucker pulled out his PDA. “Let me see what I can find out. I know Chaos goes to our school.”

“Thanks, Tuck. As if being half ghost wasn’t hard enough! Oh, and he’s in our class, because he’s talked me through assignments and knows what they are and stuff. He’s almost as good as explaining things as Sam. Crap...Sam. Don’t tell her about this!” Danny started fidgeting. 

“Well,” Tucker raised his eyebrows in surprise, “I can tell you with absolute certainty that Chaos is definitely a girl.” 

“You found out who Chaos is?!” 

“What, like it’s hard?” Tucker chuckled. “I traced the IP addresses she uses. I know who she is. So do you,” Tucker smirked, “It shocked me at first, but it makes total sense! And I can totally see why you like her.” 

“Really?” Danny let out a breath in relief. “Okay that makes me feel a lot better...hey, maybe I can ask Chaos to the dance next Saturday!” 

Tucker rested a hand on Danny’s shoulder. “Go for it. Ask Sam. I’m almost positive she’ll say yes.”

“Okay, I will...wait, not Sam! Chaos!” Danny clarified. “Well, actually, I think Chaos told me her name was Sam. Ha, small world. I can’t wait to introduce Sam to Sam. I think they would really get along.” 

Tucker busted out laughing, “Oh, dude. You go ahead and do that.” He left Danny standing there in the hallway, still laughing all the way to his next class.

Danny, a bit confused by Tucker’s laughter, shook his head and smiled to himself. Okay, good. He’d had enough identity crises to fill a lifetime. Chaos was definitely a girl. Now if he just knew Chaos returned his feelings, things might actually work out for him this time and he could actually have a girlfriend.

Meanwhile, Sam was having an internal debate of her own. Sitting in a class where the teacher couldn’t give two shits about what the students were doing, she had always used this class as her thinking time. Usually her thinking-about-Danny time. She nervously clicked her pen as she thought about recent events. 

She and Danny spent so much time chatting online when they weren’t hanging out in person. Danny was a little bit more bold online, probably because he didn’t have to interact face-to-face or risk his pants falling down in public again. Online, they talked about everything. No topic was off limits. Plus, Sam felt like their friendship had only grown even stronger when they could chat online and not have to worry about blushing or getting teased by Tucker. Chatting online took away all the pressure and made it much easier to connect with Danny. 

Danny hadn’t said anything yet, of course. He was probably scared. Hell, she was scared. She was already so in love with him, and getting closer online only further solidified that fact. She had never been in love before, and even though she hunts ghosts, this was more terrifying! She was fairly certain he returned her feelings, but both were too chicken to actually make that final step. They’ve been best friends forever. She didn’t want to mess up their already great dynamic or force Tucker to be the third wheel, though he did insist he was more than okay with that and encouraged them to finally get together. 

Sam stopped clicking her pen as she suddenly remembered it was senior year. They hadn’t picked colleges yet, but whether they ended up going to the same school or not, things were going to change. Danny was very attractive, and going off to college meant girls may actually approach him when they didn’t know his parents were ghost fighters. The fact had never bothered Sam, but she did kind of like how it kept most girls at school from asking him out or giving him attention. Valerie had been a challenge, especially because she was a ghost hunter herself and probably wanted to get tips from his parents. Sam was glad that relationship ended relatively early. It was too hard on her. Joyous or not, though, she was still mad at Valerie for how she broke his heart. 

But that was 2 years ago. They had all moved on and friendships were more or less mended across the board. This made Sam glance at her favorite picture of her and Danny. Tucker had taken the candid picture and it was now her phone’s background. In it, Danny was giving Sam a piggyback ride. Her arms were lightly strung around his neck, legs looped around his waist. Danny had kept going in the opposite direction Sam told him to go, which frustrated her but also made her laugh. She had rested her chin on his shoulder, her face pressed right up against his. Danny was looking at her and Tucker had captured that rare moment when Sam had a huge grin on her face, still laughing. She smiled at the picture. They would be okay no matter what. Their friendship would survive.

Anyway, Sam also realized she had already come close to losing Danny, in more ways than one. Whether it was to other girls or a ghost, there was always that anxiety stirring in her head that she could lose him entirely some day. Life was too short. She needed to take the plunge for both of them and just get them both over this hurdle, and they could finally, finally, actually get together. 

Sam made her decision. It was now or never. She was going to tell him. Today. The trio was meeting up at Danny’s house later anyway, and if she got there early enough, she could talk to him before Tucker showed up and teased them about it. Sam firmly nodded her head to herself, a confirmation of her decision. It was finally time.

After school, Danny was pacing in his room, trying to figure out how he wanted to do this. Asking a girl to the dance wasn’t a huge deal, and yet at the same time, it was. He would rather ask in person, but he still didn’t know what Chaos looked like, so asking in person seemed to be off the table. He could look in the yearbook for all the girls named Sam at their school. He could already omit one Sam Manson from that list. How many Sams could possibly attend their school? It would be easier to ask Tucker, though. Tucker already knew who she was. Sam and Tucker were on their way over right now. When Sam wasn’t paying attention, he could ask Tucker for Sam’s full name. 

Chaos Sam, not best friend Sam. God, this was so confusing. Why were girls so hard for him? Freshman year, Paulina only liked his ghost half and wouldn’t give his human half the time of day. Sophomore year, Valerie hated his ghost half and that hatred was more important to her than her feelings for his human half. Junior year, he had been denying that he was in love with his best friend. And now that he had finally accepted that he did like his best friend as much more than a friend, a new girl entered the picture and he now found himself trying to choose between two Sams. Because it apparently wasn’t hard enough for him already to make the biggest and most important change he could possibly make in a friendship, let’s add another crush to the mix and give them the same name.

Sam. Best friend Sam - that’s who he was planning on asking originally, even if he chickened out and had to ask her as a friend instead. Plus, he and Sam had somehow gotten closer recently, and he was pretty sure she liked him. Sure, it was only because Tucker told him so, but it was a possibility. The thing was, he didn’t want to ruin things. Especially because he truly didn’t know how Sam, best friend Sam, felt about him. She was a tough and courageous girl, surely she would have said something by now if it were true. So Tucker must be pulling his leg.

But he did have another option - Chaos Sam, who may actually return his feelings. Sure, the feelings weren’t nearly as strong as what he felt for his best friend, but the feelings were still there. Plus, if he got rejected by Chaos, it would be less heartbreaking than being rejected by Sam, someone he had known for years rather than months. He could deal with losing a newer friend, but not one of his best friends. Sam was too important and he knew he needed her in his life.

Danny sighed. This was really hard, but he made a decision. It was easier to go with Chaos than risk ruining things with Sam. Danny had enough drama going on in his life already, he needed an easy win. 

He broke from his thoughts when the doorbell rang. He ran downstairs and opened it, only slightly surprised to see Sam there. She was usually early for things. He and Tuck were more prone to being late. 

“Hey, Sam. Come on in!” Danny moved so Sam could enter his house. He shut the door and followed her upstairs and back to his room as she returned his greeting. She was pacing the same path he just had, muttering quietly to herself. She looked nervous. “Something on your mind?” 

Sam was startled out of her thoughts. “Huh? Oh yeah.” She noticed his disheveled appearance, also noting he was fidgety. Was he going to do what she was about to do? “What about you, you look like you’ve been thinking a little too hard about something.” She smiled softly. 

Danny chuckled, “Yeah, but it’ll resolve itself soon. I’ll worry about it after the movies. Tuck should be here any second. Oh, but I’m glad you’re early. Can you help me with something quick?” 

“Of course.” Sam followed him to his desk, smiling and rolling her eyes when he pointed to a homework problem. “I should have known.” 

Danny gave her a lopsided smile and watched as she showed him how to do the problem in her perfect handwriting. It took no more than a couple of minutes. Now, they were just waiting for Tucker to arrive. 

Sam looked at the time. He would be here soon. She needed to do this now. She needed to tell Danny. She couldn’t wait until after the movies for him to tell her. She had already waited long enough and couldn’t bear another second.

“Danny, can I talk to you for a second?” She sat down on his bed and gestured for him to do the same. 

Danny could sense the seriousness in her voice, and nodded anxiously. He was scared when Sam was serious about things. It was usually something bad.

“Danny…” She decided to get straight to the point. “I like you. As in like-like you. More than like, and more than a friend. And we’ve been doing this dancing around for at least 4 years now and I’m sick of it. I just want to be with you already. What do you say?” Sam held her breath as she waited for Danny to answer. 

He stared at her with wide eyes before nervously rubbing the back of his neck and turning his attention to his shoes, avoiding eye contact with the goth. God, why him?! He had stupidly thought, for once, things would be easier for him this time. He had already sent an offline message to Chaos that he wanted to ask her something, and then Sam had to come along and tell him what he had wanted to hear for some time now. But he couldn’t blow Chaos off when he had already somewhat asked. Of course, his life just had to be complicated every step of the way. He really liked both girls and didn’t want to hurt his best friend. Regardless, he had to be honest. He owed Sam that much. “Well, I mean, yeah, but…” 

“But what?” Sam whispered, clearly already upset. Fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK. This was exactly what he didn’t want to happen. He decided to try going with Chaos so he could avoid heartbreak from his best friend. The very thing he had been so afraid of, he was doing to her right now. 

Danny sighed again. “But I can’t. I’m so sorry, Sam.” It was hard to choke out, but he said it, and he felt terrible. He pressed his lips together and kept staring at his shoes until Sam lifted his chin up, forcing him to look at her. 

“What do you mean you don’t feel the same way? We’ve had mutual crushes on each other for years!” Sam said angrily, feeling her heart break as her best friend and love of her life rejected her confession of love. She was so sure he returned her feelings! Especially after all the great conversations they had shared online these last few months. “Or, at least, I thought we did.” Tears swelled in her eyes. Did he lead her on? “I-I need an explanation, Danny,” she quietly stated after he didn’t continue. 

Danny frowned and his heart ached. He didn’t want to hurt his best friend like this. Hell, he really liked her! Of course their crushes were mutual! And if this had happened 6 months ago instead of now, he would have jumped at the chance. But now...now he had Chaos and already forced himself to stick with his decision. It was easy with Chaos; there was no friendship to risk, no denying of being lovebirds or brushing off kisses as fakeout makeouts. Plus, he couldn’t lie to his best friend. She would know if he was lying. And he already told himself she deserved the truth. “There’s...someone else…” 

“What?” Sam whispered before turning angry again, “Paulina? Valerie? Star?” she spat out. 

Danny shook his head, “Ew, no...it’s someone I met online...I’m so sorry, Sam. I like you a lot, I really do, but I think I’ve already come to the conclusion that I like this girl I met online, Chaos, and I have to try to see that through.” 

Many emotions crossed Sam’s face as she pieced together what he just said. At first she was upset, but as he explained himself, she felt disbelief, confusion, anger, and finally, hope. He couldn’t really be that clueless, right? “Show me.” 

“Huh? I mean, I don’t actually know what she looks like, but we message every night and she really understands me! I know it sounds ridiculous, but-” 

“Show me,” Sam repeated. “Show me her profile.” 

“You’re not going to hurt her, are you?” Danny questioned cautiously.

“No, of course not. Just shut up and show me the profile.” Sam was more calm now, and that was kind of scary. Even though Sam said she wouldn’t hurt Chaos, he didn’t want to give her the chance. But he knew how stubborn his friend was, and eventually in whatever way, she would force the information out of him. 

Danny sighed and pulled up the profile to show Sam. “I’m sorry, Sam. I’m still your best frien-” 

“Shut up.” Sam scrolled through what Danny pulled up for her and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. Closing her eyes slowly, she took a deep breath. “Didn’t Chaos tell you her name?” 

“Uh,” Danny thought, “oh yeah! She said her name was Sam, because I thought she was a boy at first and I had an existential crisis, but then Tucker told me-” 

“Danny. I’m Sam.” 

“No I know, and sure it’ll be a little weird cause you’re Sam and she’s Sam, it’s confusing, but I-” 

Sam interrupted him once again. She could hear Tucker’s footsteps approaching. She was running out of time to not make this a spectacle. “No, Danny. Chaos. Sam. Me. I’m Sam. I am Sam,” 

Tucker only heard the tail end of the conversation as he entered the room. Never able to pass up a comedic opportunity, he smirked and added “I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like green eggs and ham!” 

It was suddenly silent in the room as his friends seized conversation and glared at him. Oops. 

“Oh, am I interrupting something?” Tucker could see the fire in Sam’s eyes. “Uh, oh wait I forgot my...sock. I’ll be downstairs!” He raced out of the room.

Sam turned her attention back to Danny. “No, you stupid fucking MORON. I am Chaos. You’ve been talking to me the whole time. I thought you knew that!” Danny stared at her blankly until she pulled out her phone and he watched her log into her account, proving it to him. Sure enough, it was Chaos’s profile. He could see all the direct messages between them, including his offline message about wanting to ask her something.

“Wait, you? You’re Sam? I mean, Chaos? I mean Sam?” Danny looked back and forth between the profile and his best friend. 

“UGH!” Sam shouted as she threw her hands in the air. “Yes, Danny. That’s me! Did you really not notice that Chaos was the same age as me and a girl who goes to our school? We have the same name and interests! Didn’t you wonder why it was so easy to talk right off the bat? I thought you put that all together and us just pretending to not know each other was a little bit you were trying to do or something!” 

Danny stared at her as he continued to piece it all together. He was definitely embarrassed. He felt so stupid. How could he not tell that Chaos was Sam, his best friend since 7th grade? Talk about being totally clueless. 

Wait. Clueless? Well, fuck! He got the nickname now! 

His eyes flickered back and forth as he thought everything through. Eventually, he started to crack a smile. “Wait, so I’ve had a crush on you and also you? You’re the same person! This is great! Do you know what this means?!” 

Sam slapped her forehead and began walking downstairs. “I don’t even know if this is worth it anymore…” 

“Wait, how come Tuck and I never knew you played video games! We can enter team tournaments! You’re so good!” Danny chased after her. 

Tucker watched as Sam grumbled about Danny caring more about video games than her. An excited Danny was right on her tail. 

“Tucker! Sam is Chaos! I’ve been in love with Sam this whole time!” Danny explained. 

“Tucker, I need you to refrain me from slapping his stupid clueless face,” Sam started. 

“Wait, you didn’t know Sam was Chaos? Dude! I thought I was obvious about that!” Tucker began laughing at Danny. 

“I know, so did I.” Sam crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Danny, you can calculate levels of rocket fuel and figure out how to get us to Mercury or something,” Tucker started. 

“Mars, actually,” Danny corrected. 

“But you can’t figure out that your best friend and your crush are the same person? You’re more than Captain Clueless, you’re like….Lieutenant Clueless? That’s like, bigger right?” Tucker continued. 

“I don’t think that’s how it works, Tuck,” Sam chimed in. 

“Shut up Sam, this isn’t about you,” Tucker immediately stopped his train of thought when he felt Sam glaring daggers at him. “Heh, uh. Except it does. It actually has nothing to do with me. I’m sorry I told you to shut up, please don’t hurt me!” He threw his hands up in front of himself in defense. 

“Relax, Tucker. I’m more angry with this fucking dingus,” she pointed her thumb in Danny’s direction. 

The halfa was about to protest, then closed his mouth. “That’s fair, I deserve that.” 

“I can’t even look at you right now. You scared me! I poured out my emotions to you. I thought you were rejecting me and that I would have to change my name and move to a different country! Wait, are you still rejecting me?” Sam stopped her pacing to look at him. 

“Of course not, Sammy!” 

“Oh don’t you ‘Sammy’ me! I told you I love you, you stupid fucking idiot!” Sam began throwing pillows at Danny, who expertly dodged them (though as a result, Tucker got hit in the face by one). 

“Technically, you didn’t say ‘love’ you said ‘like’”, Danny offered as Tucker shook his head and slashed finger across his neck, signaling Danny to stop talking. 

“Oh, I’m sorry! This is all my fault! I’m going to go jump off a cliff now!” Sam growled and Danny let out a small “oomph” as one of the pillows finally got him. 

“I’m out. Good luck, bro!” Tucker quickly slipped out the door, leaving Danny and Sam alone. 

Sam was about to follow Tucker out when Danny stopped her, “please don’t leave!” She still had angry tears in her eyes. He frowned. This was not how he expected things to go. She watched him for a few seconds before sitting down on the couch, refusing to look at him. “Sam I’m so sorry, this is just a huge misunderstanding.”

“No, Danny. It’s not. You were going to turn me down to go out with someone else.”

“But that someone was still you!”

“Yeah, but you didn’t know that! We’ve been friends for years, and you were more interested in someone you just met a few months ago! I don’t want to be anyone’s second choice, Danny! I’ve been standing by for years as you continuously chose other girls over me. I thought we were done with that, and that you were finally choosing me first, but you won’t and you never will and I’m so stupid.” Sam put her head in her hands as she tried her hardest not to let tears fall. 

And that was when he finally figured it out. It wasn’t just the moment of rejection, it was years of rejection, and at her biggest confession, she still thought he was choosing someone over her. Not to mention, Tucker witnessed most of the conversation. Sam rarely showed her emotions. She always had her heart guarded, and he knew this. Tucker knew this. Hell, she didn’t even tell them she was rich until after a few years of friendship. It took them a while to get her to open up to them. She was a pretty private person. She was probably already hurt like this before. And now, she was probably embarrassed.

“You’re definitely not stupid. I’m stupid. I should have known it was you. That was actually what I really liked about Chaos, she reminded me of you.” 

Sam forced a small sarcastic laugh, “Yeah, right.” 

“No really,” Danny sat on the couch next to her and grabbed her hand, placing it in both of his. “Sam, you’re absolutely incredible. How dumb would I have to be to not notice?” Sam gave him a pointed look. “Okay yeah but it’s not the way you think it is. I liked Chaos because she was a lot like you. She reminded me of you. And it just seemed easier to go with her because she was basically you, but she and I didn’t have a really great friendship that could have gotten ruined if we broke up or something. I could live without her, but I can’t live without you. You’re always my number one. Always have been, always will be. Even if I did just fuck everything up. I’m so sorry, Sam. I’m ready to be with you, if you’ll still have me.” 

Sam stayed silent and stared at her lap, processing this new information. Of course she would forgive him; she always did. She just needed a little time. 

Danny was getting nervous that he really did fuck this up for good. This was so fucking important! He couldn’t risk fucking this up! Sensing her hesitation, Danny tried one more thing to get her back. One thing he hasn’t done before. One thing he just learned how to perfect.  

“Sammy, I’m sorry,” a duplicate popped up next to her on the other side of the couch, startling her. 

“Please forgive me?” Another duplicate was floating in front of her, hanging upside down, hair flopping all over the place. 

“I know I’m a dummy but,” Sam snapped her head towards a third duplicate. 

“I’m only a dummy because I’m in love. With you,” the real Danny finished. Sam looked back and forth between all the Dannys.  

“We’re sorry, Sammy,” all the duplicates said at once. 

Sam was trying really hard to hold back a smile. “You learned how to duplicate,” she stated simply. 

Original Danny grabbed her hands. “Sam. I will make this up to you. I promise.” 

She could hear the determination in his voice and sighed. “You better.” 

Danny smiled and hugged her. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!! I love you so much!”

Sam pushed him off of her. “I love you too, you fucking idiot.” 

“But I get to be your idiot!” Sam couldn’t hold her laughter back anymore. “Oh!” Danny shouted, “Will you go to the dance with me? Please?” 

Sam pretended to ponder the answer before saying “alright”. 

“Yay!” All 4 Dannys cheered. The duplicates on either side of her kissed her cheeks as the real Danny kissed her forehead tenderly. The final duplicate, feeling left out, squeezed his way in to give her a hug. 

Sam was now roaring with laughter before kissing the real Danny sweetly. “You know, duplicates won’t always get you out of trouble,” she warned. 

“Yeah, but they could come in handy for other things,” he wagged his eyebrows up and down suggestively before passionately kissing her, the duplicates kissing her neck and touching her in near-dangerous places. 

Sam bit back a moan, eyes lustful before smirking, “I think you just found a way to make it up to me.” She began dragging the real Danny and one of his duplicates back to his room. Fuck the movies.

[fatiguing-thoughts]

“New Moon” - Jasper Hale Miniseries Part 2

I woke up in the morning to an empty side of the bed next to me.

“No, no, no!” I exclaim, running my hands sporadically throughout the spot where Jasper laid next to me last night.

This couldn’t be real, but it was real.

I grabbed my phone off the desk and called Jasper.

“Sorry, the number you have called is out of service.”

I called the rest of the family, all the same. I wanted to scream, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My head was spinning, I was having a panic attack. I felt like I was dying.

Before I knew it, I hit the floor.

I woke up hours later, waking up to my living nightmare. It felt like my heart was ripped clean out of my chest, with no promise of return.

How could life rob me of the people I loved most in my life? Take away my families that gave me love, twice?

When the car accident happened on my way home from high school graduation, it killed my entire family. I was the only survivor. I moved to Washington to start a new life, I was too depressed to live in my home anymore, I couldn’t bare to live in that house. I moved to Olympia and attended Evergreen State College. Portland became too much for me, I had to go.

After I met Jasper and his family, things grew easier for me. The hole in my heart slowly filled. I felt loved again, people cared for me like a family. They loved and respected me; I was not lonely anymore. Holidays weren’t spent crying alone anymore, they were spent surrounded by love. I miss my family dearly but was grateful for a second chance for a family. But now, it was once again ripped from my hands at the hand of someone else.

 I stumbled over to my desk, looking at the pictures of my handsome boyfriend and myself. I noticed that he took one; I hope he looks at it as much as I look at them.

 I thought back to how I met Jasper. I was shopping in Port Angeles, as I like to drive and take road trips at any given chance. I ran into three beautiful women on that rainy day. The tiniest of the three, who I then learned was Alice, looked at me, stared blankly, and dropped what was in her hands at that time. The other two women turned to look at me, before going back to her. She whispered something to them. They all looked at me quizzically before approaching me. I hung out with them for quite some time, befriending them. I know now that she had a vision, she knew I was Jasper’s mate. Rosalie and I clicked very well. We exchanged numbers and agreed to hang out at some point. I spent the rest of the day with them. At one point their adoptive brother, Jasper, met up with us as he needed to shop too.

 When Jasper and I made eye contact, all of the air left my lungs. I almost collapsed to the floor, my knees buckled and I gripped onto Rosalie’s arm for support. Alice was smiling uncontrollably as the same thing seemed to happen to Jasper.

 “Hello, my name is Jasper Hale.” He says, reaching out his hand for me to take.

 “I’m (Y/N Y/L/N).” I said, short of breath, meeting my hand to his.

 He grabbed my hand and kissed it, causing me to blush uncontrollably.

The sweet memory caused me to smile, before heading back into reality.

The situation daunted on me, I was alone. I had nobody with me, wouldn’t have anyone with me for quite some time. My best friends, my family, my love-- they’re all gone without a trace.

 So I did what I could, I laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling for God knows how long. I had class in an hour and had to go, so I wouldn’t lose sight of my goal. Only now there was a new motive: to see Jasper sooner.

 I went to my class, but none of it felt real. It was all a blur. When I returned to my dorm room, I stared out my window.

 And that’s how I spent all of my time now, watching the world around me change as I stayed the same. I was too depressed to do anything extra. I went to class, tried to listen, and did the work I had to do. People spoke to me, but it fell upon deaf ears.

 I left Jasper and Rosalie voicemails on a daily basis. I wrote letters for Jasper daily, planning to give him them all at once when, even though it felt more like an if, I ever get to see him again.

 Being indefinitely separated from my mate left me feeling as if I was living in hell. My nightmares came back, and they came back worse.

 I would wake up screaming, having the RA banging on my door to see if I was okay, as people called it in thinking someone was dying. Though I wasn’t physically dying, I felt like I was. I was emotionally and mentally drained as the weeks went on. Weeks turned into months. By the time October rolled around, I still hadn’t talked to anyone. I was so isolated that I even forgot that other people attended this school.

 Until one day, a kid in my busines statistics class spoke to me.

 “Hey, do you know what we’re doing? I don’t really understand this.” He says to me, trying to smile in a friendly way.

 “Uh, yeah.” I say shyly.

 I explained the problem to him and turned my attention back towards the lecture.

“Thank you, (Y/N).” He said nicely.

“You know my name?” I said surprisingly. I was so down and lost in my own head, I never learned his name.

“Well, it is on your paper.” He said chuckling.

“Ah yes. That’s true. And your name?” I ask, trying to force myself to talk. After all, this is the most social interaction I’ve had since Jasper left a month ago.

“Mark. It’s nice to finally hear something out of you.” He teased.

I smiled back and chuckled out a “Yeah, that’s fair.”

The class came to an end and with that, I left to go sulk in my room.

Every class, Mark tried to talk to me more and more. He was very nice, I just didn’t feel a need to make any friends anymore.

“Hey listen (Y/N), I know you didn’t do anything for Halloween. Thanksgiving break is coming up in a couple of weeks. I think you need to have some fun. My friends and I are hanging out this weekend at my place. I think you should come by and try the whole, social, thing.” Mark kindly offers.

I sat and thought about it. What was there to lose? I didn’t necessarily want to go, but maybe it would be a nice distraction that wasn’t staring out my window all weekend.

“Ok Mark. I’ll stop by for a little while.” I said calmly.

“Oh wow, actually? That was easier than I thought.” He laughs.

He hands me his phone with a new contact page up. I add myself and hand the phone back.

The class ends and I head back to my dorm.

After sitting for about an hour looking out my window, my phone buzzes. It was Mark.

“So we’ll see you tomorrow at 6:30. Please try to have fun.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there. I’ll try my best.” I respond.

I started writing Jasper’s letter before I stare at the backpack I’ve yet to open.

I can’t explain why I couldn’t. I was just so nervous. But it was time. It’s been almost two months since the Cullens left.

I unzip the massive backpack and see an absurd amount of cash, some papers, and some little packages. I open the papers first. One is the address of the new apartment and the other two are sealed with my name on it.

I open the first one and see a receipt? I look closer and see that he had paid off the duration of my tuition here. I almost cried at the thought of it, and I would’ve if I had any tears left. 

I open the second one and see his handwriting. I stopped breathing for a second.

“Dear (Y/N),

         I’m so sorry for what is happening Darlin’. I hope this ends sooner than later because not being with you is the worst pain that I could ever fathom. I hope you treat yourself well, please take care of yourself. I can’t wait to see you again, my love. Soon enough, we’ll have forever together. Do well in school, it’s important. I left you what I think you’ll need in this bag, please don’t miss anything in it. I will see you soon enough, doll.

          Love always,

Jasper Whitlock Hale”

My tears dropped upon the paper. I opened the rest of the bag.

I saw a little rectangle box. I opened it and gasped. It was a necklace with a “J” on it. I held it close to my chest before putting it on.

It almost felt like he was real again. It felt like I wasn’t just imagining everything that happened to me.

I grabbed a picture of he and I before climbing into bed and holding it to my chest. I laid there until I fell asleep holding it.

When I woke up, it was 10 am. I did some homework and decided to finally go see the apartment that Jasper picked for me.

I ate some breakfast and got in my car. About an hour or so later, I pulled into the parking lot of a cute complex. I go up to mine and look around. It felt so empty despite being furnished. I walk into the kitchen and see a note on the counter. It was from Jasper.

“Hey Doll, it looks like you found the apartment. I hope you like what we’ve done with it for you.”

I almost instinctively crumpled the note up in my hands as I held it to my chest, but stopped myself. I put it back on the counter before finding my bedroom. It was customized just for me, that’s for sure. My eyes welled up with tears and I couldn’t control myself when I saw the framed picture of Jasper and I on the wall. I looked out the window and admired the view of the tree line. I missed my boyfriend more than anything. This was going to be hard. At about 4 or so, I decided to head back to school after dropping some of my stuff in the apartment.

 I get back and get ready to go to Mark’s hangout. This would not only be my first social setting in some time, but my first big group of people in months. I was so afraid I could get sick.

 I drive to the address that Mark gave me and let him know I was there. I looked around and noticed that this was definitely a frat house. Well, let’s hope for the best.

He came outside to come get me. I exited the car and followed him inside to see about 25 people in the living room and kitchen area. This was going to be a nightmare. 

“Hey (Y/N), thanks for coming. Can I get you something to drink?” Mark offers.

“No thank you, I have water with me.”

“What? You don’t want a shot or anything?” He asked me confused.

“Mark I’m driving. I also don’t drink, but thank you.” I tell him.

As I look around I become increasingly aware of the fact that I’m the only female here.

“Did I crash a boy’s night or something?” I ask him.

“No I just wanted everyone to meet you.” He says.

“Oh?” I said puzzled.

“Is this her? Is this (Y/N)?” A large man comes up and asks Mark,

“Yes it is.” Mark answered. “(Y/N), this is Joe.”

“Hi Joe. Nice to meet you.” I said shyly.

“Hello. You’re right Mark, she is really pretty. You should ask her out.”

Ah there it is, the reason I was invited.

“Please go away, Joe.” Mark said as he pushed Joe out of the conversation.

“Well…” Mark trails off, looking at me.

“Well what?” I ask back.

“Would you wanna go out some time?” He asked nervously.

“Mark, I’m flattered. Thank you but I’m actually with someone. It’s pretty serious. I appreciate the gesture, though.” I say nicely.

“So why are you alone all the time?” He asks me, with kind of annoyed tone.

“Because he’s not here right now?” I said questioning his tone.

“Well, let’s just get you to have some fun tonight.” He said, pulling me further into the house by my hand.

As I walk through, all I see is drunk men. I haven’t been this uncomfortable in so long.

I sit on the couch alone and look around. I check my phone, nothing.

“What’s a pretty girl like you sitting all alone for?” I hear from above me.

My stomach turned as I look up and see a guy about the size of Emmett.

Emmett. I miss my chaos twin. I miss them all so much.

I lost my track of thought when I felt the couch dip next to me and someone throwing their arm over my shoulder.

Once again, the feeling of nausea was returning. The pit in my stomach was turning.

“So, what’s your name? Jasmine? Jade? Am I close?” He says, reaching out to twiddle his fingers around my “J” necklace.

I quickly grab my necklace from his grasp.

“No, my name is (Y/N). The J is my boyfriend’s initial. His name is Jasper.” I snapped at him.

“Oh, so where is your boyfriend, then? Why would he leave you all alone? Doesn’t seem like he cares very much if you’re alone all the time, or if you came here alone.” He said in a whisper as he caressed my arm. I could smell the liquor on his breath.

I wish I knew where he was.

“He does, he’s busy doing something important.” I said harshly as I pull my arm away quickly.

My phone begins to go off in my pocket, I get up to look at the screen. It’s an unknown number. Hell I’d answer anyone, even a spam call, to get out of this situation right now.

“Hello?” I say into the phone, happy just to have a break in whatever that situation was turning into.

“(Y/N), leave. Now.” It was Alice.

“Alice?” I basically scream into the phone.

“(Y/N), please leave. Never speak to them again. Get out, go home.” She says as I hear the call end.

I ran out of the house, started my car, and left. My worries weren’t for nothing. They were going to hurt me.

But as I drove home, none of that really stayed on my mind.

Alice called me; I couldn’t even trace a number. I couldn’t call back. For once I felt like they were real again. I began to cry, I missed them so much. The most I heard from them in months was a fifteen second phone call. I didn’t get to talk, it was just so I wouldn’t let myself get hurt.

I pulled into my usual parking spot and headed up to my dorm room. Hoping that this semester ends soon enough. I only have two weeks before Winter break. This couldn’t come sooner.

I crawled into my bed, staring at the J on my necklace until I fell asleep.

 Jasper’s POV

Hearing the phone call was too much for me.

Hearing about Alice’s vision was too much for me.

This was all too much for me. I needed to see (Y/N).

I needed to go there and kill every single one of them. If it wasn’t for Emmett and Carlisle holding me back and calming me down, I’m not sure I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself.

I was sick of just hoping my fragile (Y/N) would be okay. It wasn’t enough for me that Alice was watching with her visions.

I have an anger so deep within me that I could destroy anything in my path. So that’s what I did with Emmett. We went outside and broke boulders about fifteen miles from where we were staying. It was how I was gonna keep myself calm.

“I’m really sorry Jasper.” Emmett says to me.

“Thank you, Emmett.” I look back at him.

“We all miss her too, I know it’s different. But it hurts us too. I wish she could’ve come. But we’ll see her soon.” He says to me.

“I want it more than anything. I would also like to show up to that party.” My voice trailed off. If vampires could cry, I’d have been crying from the start of this conversation.

“I know, but we can’t. We have to be happy nothing happened to her. So I really can’t let you go do that.” He pats the back of my left shoulder.

I nodded to him. Emmett was truly the best brother I could ask for. Rosalie picked an amazing mate, and I owe her one for that.

“Do you smell that?” He says, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“Bears?” I say, a little bit of the predator side in me taking over.

“Yeah, I think it’s time for dinner.” He says smirking.

And just like that we were off, racing to find a bear.

 *********

Word Count: 2973

[country-club]

tell me when it kicks in

Reader x Rafe Cameron Summary: you were having a shitty day and decided to go to a party at the Cameron’s. Your friend, Rafe, offers you cocaine. It gets steamy, however, with your mixed emotions and now intoxicated body, your anxiety starts acting up. Warnings: anxiety, mentions of alcohol, drugs and swearing. Let me know if I missed anything. Wordcount: 2.4k

A/n: I described what anxiety feels like for me. It’s not the same for everyone! I have never experienced with hard drugs, so most of the things I just looked up online..

Some days everything feels like shit. They feel like everybody and everything is against you, it is you against the world. Those days feels like all the songs about depression and loneliness you’ve ever heard. Today is one of those days.

It started the minute you woke up and checked your notifications. A picture of your ex showed up on your timeline, kissing the girl who was your best friend all through middle school. The caption read: happy 1 month. With tons of emoticons. You were still friends with the girl, and not only did she not tell you they were dating for an entire month, she also knew you weren’t completely over him.

You spent the day working from 9 to 6 at the shop. Sadly, you had to be the cashier for the day. It was hot and the AC wasn’t working. You had been stuck with the two most annoying colleagues you could imagine; one took too many smoke breaks which led to your break being cut short, and the other talked way too much the girls he had screwed over the weekend.

When you got home, your mom had already eaten dinner with your sibling and left you scraps in the oven. You took a long hot shower and warmed up the dinner your mom had bought. She doesn’t cook well.

There was an empty place on the wall in the kitchen where a photo of your family used to be. Your eyes looked around the kitchen, trying to find the picture. Only when you were cleaning up you noticed it being thrown into the trash bin.

“Mom!”

“What?” she yelled back from the living room. She sounded tipsy, already.

“Did you throw our family picture in the trash?” You walked over to her, holding the picture up. She didn’t even look at you. “Mom! It’s the only picture with dad in it and it never bothered you before.” It is the only picture with him in it. Your mother hasn’t talked to him since the divorce and never seemed to mind the picture, seeing how it’s been a good couple of years now and it hasn’t been taken down.

Minutes after you put it back up, your mother started shouting around the house. She was a nice, smart lady, who likes to have a couple of wines to many combined with the daily sleeping pill. The two of you got along okay, just not when she’s like this. She yelled about what a shitty person your father was and blamed you for her problems, which is totally unfair. You tried to ignore her, not wanting to get into a fight.

“You know what mom, I’m out of here.” And with that you were out the door. She didn’t bother walking after you.

At this point your mind was set on one thing: getting shitfaced and forgetting about this day and its events. And on that note, you drove over to the Cameron’s house. It’s summer which means parties every night at Figure 8.

You didn’t hang out with the Cameron’s much, though you and Rafe would usually be around each other at parties. The two of you flirted a lot, you were friendly. Rafe and you never hung out one on one but seemed almost inseparable when you were with a group of mutual friends. Your friendship was rather normal for the longest time; you didn’t talk about personal things; you would do shots together and sit on his lap at parties. He held your hair when you were throwing up and you would help him mess with Topper. At some point in your friendship one of your friends dared you to kiss him. As drunk as you were, you did. You got up, sat down stripper style on his lap which got you a ton of cheers, and gave him a little kiss on the lips. Rafe had smiled from ear to ear and laughed it off. It had been the same week as your breakup. Things weren’t necessarily tense since, just different. You wouldn’t sit on his lap and the little touches on your shoulders were enough to make you nervous.

There you were, getting out of your car and walking onto the property of the Cameron’s. It looks like a busy night tonight. The yard was crowded, and you were stopped at least 5 times while making your way to the booze. Some asked how you were doing and told you it was nice to see you, a couple of people brought up your ex’s new partner. You mixed in something to drink and tried to find someone to hang out with.

“Hey, Y/n, how you been?” Topper asked as he stopped walking.

“I’m good,” You lied. “where you headed?” You hoped he knew where to find Rafe.

“Basement, want to come with?” Of course, he was going to the basement. No doubt Rafe would be there as well. You followed Topper through the crowd as he led you to the basement, which was a little less crowded. There were a bunch of people rounded up around the couch, mainly girls. You were aware that Rafe was taking and selling cocaine and would bring it to parties. Never had you had the urge to try it, so he never asked. Topper walked past the girls at did this weird little handshake thing with Rafe. Once Topper was done talking to Rafe he sat down next to some girl. Like you, Topper too turned to alcohol when he was feeling down. Not because he necessarily needs to, but his friends keep ‘pressuring’ him to. He’s been going to more parties and throwing them more often as well, since he and Sarah split. With Topper being around more, the two of you grew closer and would hang out outside of parties. He opened up about the performance pressure he felt growing up and in return you told him about your anxiety. You explained to him how much it sucked during high school and the panic attacks you would have when nobody was around. The two of you didn’t bring it up much, but you knew and understood each other a bit better.

Right now, you’re staring around the room, not paying attention to the loud music and conversations going on. Rafe must have noticed you as he was currently standing next to you.

“Glad you came, Y/n.” You did your best to focus on what he was saying. However, you didn’t reply. You weren’t glad you came, just glad you had somewhere to go instead of spending the night home.

“You look like you could use another drink, can I get you something?” All the girls sitting around the coffee table looked like they were having a great time. They didn’t seem to care what anyone thought, and in this moment, you needed not to care about anything.

“Rafe, can I try some?” You were shy to ask, not sure how he would reject. He wrapped his arm around you.

“Sure, baby.” He took you over to the coffee table and made some lines with his credit card. Topper noticed how focused you were and tapped your arm.

“Are you sure, Y/n? Do you know the effects of a cocaine high?” You laughed. You knew he cared, and you knew of the effect of cocaine; you might get anxious or paranoid, however it could also make you confident and give you energy. Rafe sat down in a chair as some of the girls and Topper started doing lines, leaving one for you. You kneeled down and prayed you wouldn’t embarrass yourself. You did your worst and got up again. There weren’t any places left for you to sit so you awkwardly stand in the middle of the circle. Rafe pulled you onto his lap, resting his hand on your leg. You were unsure of when the cocaine would kick in; maybe it already did? It was already hot as hell down here, but it just got even hotter.

“It will only last up to 30 minutes, Y/n.” Rafe whispered.

“It’s like really hot in here.” The others didn’t really notice you or decided to simply focus on anything else. “Can we go outside?” Rafe was about to answer as you already got up of his lap. Your body was suddenly filled with energy, not the tiredness you were feeling before. You told Topper you’d be right back as you took ahold of Rafe’s hand.

“Y/n? I don’t think you should go outside right now-“ He tried to argue as you were already out of the basement. Rafe stopped you from walking out.

“I feel amazing, Rafe. Why haven’t we done this before?” Rafe’s tranquility calmed you down. He liked you too much for you to go down the same road he has.

You felt like you were on top of the world and would get away with anything even though you could barely feel your legs.

“Can I try something?” You have been wanting to try this for the longest time, well, ever since you kissed him on that dare. Rafe nodded as if to give you permission. You got on your toes as Rafe bend down. Your mouth made its way to Rafe’s ear.

“Have you ever been with someone while high?” Rafe cupped your cheeks as you brought your lips back down, placing them on his. Gently at first but getting needier by the second.

“Not yet.” He said once he let go of your lips and took your hand in his. “Would you like to go upstairs?” He checked in with you. You did. The two of you made your way to his room. It was big, that was really the only thing you noticed, your focus being only on Rafe. He barely closed the door as you pushed him against the wall with you body and kissed him. Your hands were on his waist as his found their way to your ass.

You really wanted this. Him. He lifted you up in air so you could wrap your legs around his waist. Making out as he holds you and makes his way to the bed. Rafe lowers you and puts you down on the bed. You scoot backwards to make room for Rafe to crawl on top of you. He hovers over you, holding your side in one hand and with the other holding himself up. You hold his face as you kiss him, lowering your hands to the hem of his shirt. He lets go of your side, sits up and takes the piece of clothing off, revealing his torso. He leaned back down, kissing your neck.

His hands on your body made you feel like you were going insane, craving for more. The feeling of his warm hands on your skin was perfect. Everything you had imagined, and better. It didn’t feel right. No. A feeling of unease overcovered you. The confidence you felt flew out the door. You let go of Rafe’s lips and he stopped unbuttoning your shirt. He noticed you weren’t paying any attention to him anymore.

“Y/n?”

You could hear and feel your heartbeat going over 150 beats per minute. The beats were loud, and your vision was getting blurrier by the second.

“Y/n, are you okay?”

You felt vulnerable, laying on your back. So, you sat up straight, trying to breathe. The heaviness on your chest made it hard to. Maybe Topper was right and taking cocaine was a bad idea. Maybe Rafe was only here because you took cocaine. You didn’t want to look like a fool to him. Maybe that is why you broke up with your ex and they found someone who has their shit together. You are not foolish for being anxious. Oh god, why are you breathing so loud?

You didn’t want to look at Rafe. You weren’t sure why you were freaking out. Your heart was pounding out of your chest. And then you felt two arms wrap around you. Rafe held you close and laid back down on his side, taking you with him. You were facing each other, though your face was more facing his chest. You could feel his heartbeat, beating at a normal rate. As normal as yours felt right now. Rafe was breathing in and out and telling you to do the same. You tried to. Your arms were wrapped around his torso and you held onto him. He whispered some sweet nothings into your ear until you calmed down.

And you did, your head and body calmed down and you were tired.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered; your face now stuffed in Rafe’s neck.

“Are you alright, Y/n?” Rafe was rubbing your back softly. You nodded.

“I think so. I can’t imagine how big of a mess I must look like right now.”

“You’ve looked better.” He joked. “Come here, baby.” Rafe sat back up and you followed his lead. “How’s your head?” You sit facing each other, his hand holding yours.

“Confused and tired.”

“Understandable. You can stay the night if you’d like.”

“Are you asking me to sleep with you?” You were joking, obviously.

“If we can actually sleep, then yes. It has been a long alright.”

It wasn’t awkward between you two. You had calmed down but were left with a lot of mixed feelings and not wanting to take cocaine again for a while.

“How long have we been gone?” You ask while fixing your shirt. Rafe put his on again as well.

“About 30 minutes. Almost as long as a trip should take. How was it?”

“Never again.” Rafe laughed at your comment. “However, it did make me realize I really like kissing you.”

“Maybe we should continue when we’re sober?” You agreed and gave Rafe a kiss on his cheek.

“That’d be lovely.” Rafe got up off the bed and offered you his hand. You took it and got up as well, being pulled into a hug. “Are you alright going back outside for a bit? You can stay in here if you’d like.” You didn’t want to stay alone in his room. You decided to splash some water in your face and find Topper.

“Y/n,” Rafe stopped you from walking out. “how do you like your eggs in the morning?”

You laughed at his flirty comment and thanked him for being so understanding and kind and ‘such a good kisser’, all before going out to enjoy the rest of the party. Luckily for you it wasn’t an all nightery and you got to spend the night with Rafe Cameron.

[sunarintoes]

Dear Whoever: [Oikawa]

Synopsis: two broken strangers hold a mutual understanding of each other as they silently complete jigsaw puzzles together every Wednesday afternoon.

WC: 4K

TW: mental health issues, reader sucks at math, swearing, angst (but a lot of fluff) please do not read if you feel uncomfortable by these themes. Also: this fic has nothing to do with volleyball and is set in a clinic for mental health

Note: this is in no way meant to romanticise mental health issues, it is simply a story of a person (reader) who is struggling with their mental health and eventually gets better through the silent support of a friend she makes (Oikawa)

18/6/2020

Dear diary?

Is that how I'm supposed to start these entries off? I'm not sure. Well, uh...today I went to see a psychologist for the first time. Her name is Mary and she gave me this book, told me to try it out and write in it as much as possible. I feel awkward though. I don't think I'll use this.

Until next time,

Yn

30/6/2020

So uh… hi?

My therapist told me to write here even if I'm not sad? So if something memorable happens. I don't know honestly. This is way too awkward. Maybe I'll get used to this. Maybe not?

Cya,

Yn

18/7/2020

I stayed true to my words, I really haven't written here that much. I'm doing good and I don't think there's anything wrong with me! I'm not sure why I'm being forced to go to therapy. I feel how I feel and it doesn't matter! I know there are people worse off than me and I don’t have the right to feel sad - I have a good family, good friends, go to a nice school and I have money (or well, my parents do). So why should I feel sad? And I just have a resting bitch face. It's not called being ‘depressed’ or whatever.

Asides from all that, the only reason I haven't kicked up a huge fuss about being forced to be interrogated is the fact that every Wednesday - the day I visit my psychologist, there's always the same cute boy sitting in the same seat opposite me, not to mention the same somber expression he wears.

I'm not sure why, but I feel oddly connected to him. As if our minds are connected and in tune. I feel like I know him and he knows me. I've been reading too many books. Lol! There's no way we have that connection. Besides, I've only seen him about 4 times. Yeah, I'm definitely making this up in my sad, lonesome head.

Farewell for now,

Yn

21/7/2020

Dear diary,

I saw him again. I still don't know his name. But today he looked up at me and smiled a bit, I tried to smile back but I probably just looked angry. Not that I have a problem smiling or that I'm angry or upset. I'm just stuck on default - stuck with a heavy frown on my face.

Sincerely

Yn

29/7/2020

It's a shame, really; I've spent so long trying so hard to get better. And I do want to get better, but it’s not easy. If I'm being honest, I thought I was getting better but when the quarantine hit I began to bottle things up again. Not seeing my feelings, having them buried deep beneath - locked away in the deepest pits of my heart… well, it was soothing in a sense. That way they did not exist, they were forgotten. I didn't have to deal with them. But I forgot the most important thing of all, ‘with good comes bad’ they say, I wish I had listened - to myself and to those around me, that bottling up feelings is really the worst thing to do. Because the longer you ignore them, the stronger they grow and the darker they get. I'm an idiot; really. I was a coward, too scared of my untamed, ugly feelings to face them head on, too scared to ask for support to help me face them. So here I am now, wallowing in the depths of my despair with an increasingly depressing inner monologue, typing this out in tune with it. I'm really bashing myself up, bottling up is the most harmful way to inflict violence upon one’s self, and I'm really feeling it. My brain hurts from narrating my problems and inner thoughts - it’s working overtime as a sort of coping mechanism. But what hurts the most - what burns the most, is my ever dry throat and teary eyes. Having to swallow the ever present lump that happens to make itself comfortable right at the back of my throat seems to really suck the moisture out of my mouth, hence my dry throat. My eyes really sting, the tears come and go, and boy, let me tell you - it takes so much strength to fight them. To stop them from rolling down as they would wish to. Feeling the tears well up and then forced to go away really burns. I'm not sure why; I do know that despite not having cried even once, my eyes burn as if I havent stopped crying since last week.

As dramatic as this is, this is how I feel. Quite underwhelming considering I've been harboring such strong, hating and dangerous feelings to myself since march. Though, this is my first time letting these frustrations out. I'm glad I've finally realised the burdens I carry. There's not much I can do.

See you next time,

Yn

2/8/2020

Hi,

Didn't expect to write that much in here but shit has been going down this week. Today my math teacher kept me in to tell me that I failed my math test, she told me that it was irresponsible of me to get as low as I got. The whole time she scolded me, I felt uncomfortable and like I could cry - I was close too, the tears were forming in my eyes. She asked me if I was planning on dropping maths, she basically suggested for me to drop maths. Oh! She also told me that I had to stop drawing in my book and that it was preventing me from learning because apparently ‘if you draw that just proves to me that you have no idea what's going on and you don't want to ask questions.’ and I'll give her that, I don’t - to both things.

The seats are so close it makes me anxious, I don't want everyone around me to know that I don't understand math! And besides, I seriously do not understand it so she'd have to sit with me the entire lesson to explain everything… I think there's something wrong with me.

Until next time,

Yn

3/8/2020

Hey, me again.

It’s still slightly weird to vent into a little diary but I'm getting there I guess. I'm so frustrated! Today has been the worst fucking day that I've ever experienced. For starters, I did double math for periods one and two, and then we got our tests back and I failed :) yep 23%!

I'm just soooo happy. If I'm being honest I don't care anymore. Maths is hard and no matter how much I study I fail at it. There's no point in me even trying now. I give up. What's worse is we had a substitute teacher and when she handed out the papers she gave my paper to some other girl in the class - who then of course, proceeded to have a fit about how bad the test is and that the tests were definitely mixed up. Well, they were but did she really have to explain to the whole class about how bad the score is? It was embarrassing to have to put my hand up and get the paper - my test, handed to me. It felt like everyone’s eyes were burning holes into my body. Right then and there I had a panic attack - I had already felt on edge since yesterday but the test conforming results plus the fact that everyone knew how badly I scored tipped me over the edge. I felt the tears well up but I pushed them back - refusing to show everyone how weak and pathetic I am.

I excused myself to the bathroom and cried a little before texting my friends and telling them that I was about to have a meltdown. Unfortunately they weren't online and didn't respond, I had to go back to class anyway.

When the break came, I left to go back to the bathroom - my tears were still clouding my vision and I couldn't get rid of them. I think I may be superstitious but while I was walking I was stuck behind the girls who saw my test - they were talking about their tests. I didn't really care but then one of them said ‘how much do you need to pass?’ and the others just laughed, so she continued and said ‘seriously! Is 24 percent a pass?’ this made the other girls laugh even harder, it felt like a slap to the face. Like they were indirectly mocking me. The same girl then said ‘surely 25 percent’ which again, was met with laughter.

It really hurt. Even if I was just overreacting. Surely not. They had to be talking about me. Why else would they talk about low test grades when they are literally on to top of the class.

I just want to disappear.

Sincerely,

Yn

8/8/2020

I dropped my Ipad today - twice if I may add. I cried when it hit the floor, the protective screen shattering into small, sharp pieces. The ‘up’ volume button is stuck and can no longer be used, neither can the ‘on/off’ button. Guess I can only use the home button to turn it on and wait for it to go to sleep if I don't want to use it. I'm kinda fed up with life. I want to be taken away. I don't care how far I go. I just want to leave.

Not soKindly,

Yn

14/8/2020

Dear Diary,

Today has been alright, I made mini cookies which helped put a smile on my face. Ever since the first time I exploded in this diary, I've felt a humongous weight lift off of my shoulders. Picture this, a single person holding up 50 tonnes of bricks and then telling themself and everyone around them ‘I’m fine! I can do this! I don't need help!’ but then one day, the person feels even more bricks pile up which becomes overloaded and they can't keep it up anymore. So they begin to crumble under all the pressure and the weight until they just explode! After their explosion a new person appears out of nowhere and helps them hold the stack of bricks. It is not that lighter, but it's the extra support - the extra pair of hands helping keep the first person stand straight, that really means something. I'm not sure if that makes sense but it’s how I can describe how I feel. Still feels heavy in my chest, but this time it just feels a bit lighter - like the world isn't entirely against me.

From,

Yn

30/8/2020

Dear Diary

When I went to the clinic earlier this week, something unexpected happened. The cute boy - who i like to call my ‘Therapy Buddy’ pointed over to the small table where a bunch of unfinished puzzles lay. I was confused at first but still walked over there. We sat down opposite each other and offered small smiles to one another. And without saying anything we finished off the jigsaw puzzles until we had to part ways.

For the first time in a while, I felt calm - as if my nerves were soothed. Maybe I should upgrade his name to ‘Miracle Buddy’ because I am 100% sure the reason I felt at peace was his doing - his presence.

Until next time,

Yn

7/9/2020

Dear Diary,

Therapy Buddy and I completed the jigsaw puzzles again today; no words were exchanged. I think he’s cute. I don't have a crush on him. I literally don't know him. I just like being in his presence. And besides, we've only done this twice. Who's to say we'll do it next week?

Cya,

Yn

15/9/2020

Whats up bitch Diary

Haha. Therapy Buddy is definitely smart. He was so quick to complete a 200 piece puzzle! I barely helped… he's cute when he concentrates as well. Oh yeah, we did end up doing them today. I noticed he also carries a diary with him. Maybe he writes in it like I do? Who knows. I hope he's written about me… I mean he probably hasn't but who knows, am I right?

Sincerely

Yn

21/9/2020

Hey Diary,

I'm really struggling going to school, I find it hard to concentrate in math class. Actually yeah, I like going to school but it's when I step into the math class, when I go in I feel my chest tighten and my throat dry. I have spoken with my parents a lot. They said I can drop maths if I want to. I'm still not sure what I want to do in the future but I have a faint idea: a psychologist or an artist. I need maths for psychology I think. I'm not sure. I think I'll just stick with it and hope next year goes better.

From,

Yn

29/9/2020

I look forward to going to the clinic. It no longer feels like an interrogation now that I walk in with an open mind. I'm still not getting much better with maths so I asked to be dropped down a level and now that i'm in a new classroom, a new environment, i feel less nervous. Maybe i’ll be able to get at least something done.

Kindly,

Yn

12/10/2020

This is a disaster, the other week when Therapy Buddy and I were sitting together - in comfortable silence might I add, we mixed our diaries! I can't believe this. I didn't realise until I got home! I had no ways of contacting him either. I hope he didn't read through it. If he did, I'm in trouble, I'm not doing good. I feel sick in my stomach and my throat is constricting. Ok I'm going to go, I'm having a panic attack just remembering.

Until next time

Yn

13/10/2020

Hey Diary!

In the midst of panic yesterday, I missed an important detail. Therapy Buddy left his name and phone number in my book. He must have opened up to write in it only to realise it wasn't his book. I hope. I'm a bit scared to text him. He has a pretty name - Oikawa Toru.

If I'm going to be honest, I read a little of his diary! I couldn't help it, I just wanted to write my feelings but I opened up on his latest entry, I read it and I shouldn't have. I feel a bit guilty but now, more than ever, I feel closer to him. He's feeling a similar way to me.

Yeah, I think I'll go for it. I think I'll text him.

Sincerely,

Yn

20/10/2020

What's up Diary!?

I'm glad I texted Toru! Since then we've been texting non stop but we've made a promise - to not speak to each other in person until we’re both doing better. That's fine with me. I just know my voice would betray me if I decided to chat him up in person. I've found a sense of comfort with Toru, he's no longer just my Therapy Buddy (although that's his contact name), he's now my friend who I can seek comfort in, and he seeks comfort in me too. I hate to say it, but I think I may have a small crush on him. This is a pain in the ass, I really hope I don't. He's just my friend. He's just my friend. He's just my friend. He's just my friend. But he’s really cute

Kind regards,

Yn

25/10/2020

Hey diary,

I'm feeling a lot mentally better, I wish I had realised sooner that going to therapy was helpful. Having someone who just listens to you and doesn't give their input unless you want it is soothing. I'm not as anxious to go to math class, of course I'm still trying but I've adopted the mindset: what's done is done, all I can do is look forward.

I have good news about Toru. Today he said to me ‘when I’m ready I want to love you and for you to love me.’ I know I don’t love him but I’m not an idiot, I know I have some more-than-friends feelings towards him.

From,

Yn

27/11/2020

Dear Diary,

Things have been really looking up for me. Im feeling a lot happier and the weight in my chest is a lot lighter. I almost feel free. I've been thinking of career paths a lot lately. I think I want to be a psychologist. If it weren't for Mary, who knows where I would be now. Thanks to her I've been able to feel better and do better. I want to be like her. I want to be able to help people through their problems - whether it be a minor inconvenience or a major one, because I know how it feels. I understand what it feels like to have the whole world against you - as if every force and person in the universe were working unanimously together to bring me down, ‘but I survived and so can you.’ That's what I will tell them. And also ‘We can get through this together,’ and let's not forget ‘this will be challenging so we both have to put in 100 percent to getting better!’

Sincerely

Yn

12/12/2020

Hey diary,

I am full of joy.

Today Toru texted me and asked me if i wanted to spend New Years Eve with him! I said yes and were going to go to the park to have a picnic and watch the fireworks! I'm so excited. I hope he is too! I just cannot wait.

Oh yeah! I can't believe i haven't written it in until now! I've just been so happy and excited and wow but the two of us went out to a cafe and he bought me a drink - we still haven't exchanged words and spent the whole time sitting next together while texting.

In that moment I felt so happy, I knew that this is the guy I want to be with. I have a crush on him and wow... I it feels good to get that off my chest and out into the open,,, I wonder if he’s ready? It doesn’t matter, I’ll wait as long as I have to because Toru is special and I don’t want to lose him.

It is New Years Eve and I have made plans to catch up with Toru, he's going to pick me up at my house and together we’ll walk to the nature park where we’ll spend the night having a picnic and being in each other’s presence. In my small bag I have snacks and drinks packed, along with some board games - why not? After all, I'm planning on confessing to him tonight and I thought doing it while engaging in one of the things that brought us together was the way to go.

There is a timid knock on the door and I quickly run to answer it.

As soon as I open the door I’m met with a cardboard poster with the words ‘Happy New Years Eve, Yn!!’ written in big, large letters. I smile as I look at it, Toru definitely was not an artistic person but the thought was sweet and made my heart swell. I pull out my phone and text him a thank you before receiving one back from him; ‘you look extra beautiful… Yn.’

I read the text a few times before my brain finally gets the message, a large smile creeps up onto my face and I hear him try to stifle a laugh.

I turn away from Toru and yell out ‘bye bye! I'll see you tonight!!’

When I turn back I see Toru reaching out his hand; as if he were asking me to hold it.

Toru’s hand is pretty, our fingers are linked together and they rest comfortably. Nothing feels forced, it all feels natural. I look up at him and wonder if he feels the same, as if he knew what I was thinking when he squeezes my hand. Yeah, we definitely have some strange connection.

We spend the whole journey to the park texting, and as much as I love texting him and hearing him quietly chuckle during conversations it no longer feels like enough. I want more. As greedy and selfish as that sounds. I know I said I would wait for him - as long as it would take, but I'm getting impatient. Tonight i'm going to speak to him… I hope he does as well.

The park is beautiful, the flowers are trees surrounding the border and trap out the outside world. It almost feels like I'm in a magical fairy realm - or something like that.

We found a spot near a garden bed and I noticed the arrangement of flowers fairly quickly. I find it funny, the flowers almost represent everything i feel for Toru - maybe our meeting was indeed, fate and maybe this was fate telling me to confess.

I pull out a 5000 piece jigsaw and text ‘wanna play?’ which Toru of course agrees.

I have had fun, all night we’ve spent playing various games and eating snacks. We still haven't spoken and that's getting me down. I can't help the intrusive thoughts - ‘does he not like me?’ ‘he's not ready’ ‘you're just a friend.’ I try to push them out of my head but before I crumble I find a new thought: ‘maybe he's just too shy to make the first move.’

That is, it was up to me and it was the perfect time to confess - ten minutes until the new year. I quickly got up and made an impromptu bouquet of the flowers that resided next to us.

Shaking, I turned towards him. “Hey… i’m Ln Yn and this is for you…” I handed him the bouquet and tried my best to ignore the look on his face - I couldn't tell if it was shock out of happiness or anger, “you asked to know the meanings right?” I move closer to him and point out a flower, “well, see that flower? It's a light purple lilac that resembles young love… and this one here, it's called a belledonne which means silence, this one’s a begonia - representing dark thoughts, oh and this one! It's a pink camellia which symbolises longing - particularly longing for a romantic relationship with the receiver, and this daisy right here means innocence and hope. And lastly, the hibiscus represents delicate beauty.’ I swallowed a lump in my throat as I looked up at him, I didn't realise how close I got to him - our lips were mere centimeters away.

‘Hey… I'm Oikawa Toru and I like you too. Why don't we give a relationship a try?’

I smile. I smile so large I feel my cheeks hurt. This, this is the happiest i've ever been. ‘I’d like that.’ Toru smiles with me, he’s beautiful, even with the dak thoughts plaguing his mind.

‘I like your voice’ we say to each other before laughing.

‘Wow.. we really said that at the same time huh?’ he laughs. Instead of responding I grab a hold of his hand once more and squeeze it. ‘It’s kinda annoying, I wanted to confess first…’

‘Not my fault. Bet it wouldn't have been as romantic as what I did.’

‘So telling me the meanings of flowers is romantic?’

I gasp as he doubles over in laughter and without realising we fell into an easy conversation - much like one we would have over text. Everything with Toru felt natural.

The fireworks go off signalling the beginning of the new year, Toru leans in closer and his eyes don't leave mine.

‘Hey,’ he says softly, ‘can I kiss you?’ I gulp and nod, within seconds his lips were delicately pressed against mine, they were soft and smooth - even if they were slightly chapped. They felt natural against my lips. The kiss was short and sweet. Deciding that it wasn't enough to satisfy me, I went back in after we pulled apart and we both smiled into the kiss - our lips passionately moving together, like two jigsaw pieces that were made for each other.

When we pull back, Toru drags me into his chest and says, ‘I'm ready to love you.’

Taglist: @ladyrenart

Hushudhidwhuwihahuaf ïm im sorry this is horrible and I definitely don’t plan on using this style of writing anytime soon! I promise the rest of the series will be written nicely !

[superfanficnatural]

Love, Tabby

Pairing: Dean Winchester x OFC(Tabby)... so not really “Original Character” lol

Summary: Tabby is turning 30 today and Dean has a special surprise in store for her.

A/N: So Monday is Tabby’s 30th birthday, but we are celebrating it today, so this is my birthday present to you @winchest09​. I really hope you like it, I LOVE YOU !!!

Warnings: HEAVY FLUFF.

Word Count: 4,659

Tabby woke up in her bed, feeling grumpy as she did every time she woke up. Reaching over, she felt a cold spot where her husband usually was, fear settling in her heart. Shooting up out of bed, she put on her clothes and rushed to the door, noticing a piece of paper attached to the frame. 

Confused, she pulled it off of the tape and took a look at the note, “Hey, sweetheart. I know you’re probably freaking out over where I am and if I’m alright. I’m fine. I’ve set up a little scavenger hunt for you, and yes, you have to do it,” she chuckled as she shook her head. “Maybe you will find out what it’s for as you go along, but for right now, I’m gonna give you five.”

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, “Five what?” 

Turning the paper over to its back, she saw five numbers with writing next to them, “#1-You’re kind - I’ve never met someone with such a pure and honest heart. The kindness you treat others with never ceases to amaze me, even if they were an asshole at some bar. It’s one of the reasons that I fell for you,” she smiled, his words warming her heart.

“#2- You’re thoughtful - Whenever I feel like shit, or even Sam, you always know. You always cook us a meal, or talk to us and somehow manage to make us open up. You always make me feel so loved. I never thought that I deserved it, but you’re always there to help me, no matter what,” she felt anger bubble up inside of her, he did deserve love, and she would never stop trying to convince him.

“#3- You’re compassionate - It’s like you have some kind of superpower to be able to feel how others are. Whenever I felt at my lowest, you were right there with me. It seemed like you felt the exact pain I was going through and because of that, I never felt alone. You are the reason that I never feel alone.”

“#4- You’re an awesome friend - Even before we started dating, you were always so attentive, so helpful. You set the bar high for anyone who tries to call themselves a good friend. When Sam was struggling and hurting, you even went out and bought him a salad. A damn salad! You put on his favorite TV show and sat down with him the entire night. I remember he told me the day after that if I didn’t marry you, he would kill me,” she chuckled and blushed, happy that his brother wanted them to be together as well.

“#5- You’re a great mom - Ever since our girl was born, you were always hovering over her, always making sure she was safe and healthy. I swear I’ve had to drag you away from her crib just so you could get some sleep when she was first born. The amount of love that you look at our kid with, I never knew how much it would affect me. Whenever we’re asleep, if she cries, you always told me to go back to sleep and that you would handle it. No other mom could compare to you, and I know our kid knows that too,” she began to tear up. “Damn it, Dean. Making me cry this early in the morning,” she choked out a laugh, wiping her eyes.

Below the fifth number, there was some more writing, “Go to the place that you and Sam have hung out the most. This should be an easy one,” she could practically see his eye roll as he wrote this and instantly knew where to look, the library.

She left the room with the paper in her hand and made her way over to the library. She didn’t realize it, but he could have probably hidden the paper somewhere within the hundreds of books they had. Huffing, she solidified her resolve and got to digging, opening up books and flipping through them to see if the paper was inside. After about a half hour and two hundred books later, she sighed out tired and sat down on one of the chairs at the table. 

“How the hell am I-” she began before she perked up. She remembered that she and Sam had spent a lot of time under the table when they first met; they wrote basically all the most important information they could need on monsters in bullet points. She also remembered Dean saying they were acting like children but she didn’t care, it was a great way to bond with Sam and they both had a lot of fun.

Reaching under the table and feeling around, she felt a piece of paper taped to the bottom, “Bingo.”

Pulling it out from under the table, “I know the first note had a bit of stuff written before the numbers, but moving on, mostly just the numbers and the location of the next paper will be written.”

Bracing herself, she turned over the paper and began to read, “#6- You’re selfless - You care about others more than yourself. While other people call that heroic, I hate it. You always want to jump in front of me when a monster is attacking or pushing me out of the way, when really, I’m the one who should be doing that. You’ve given me so many goddamn heart attacks, I’m gonna die one of these days. But I also love it, because it goes to show just how incredible you are. Always looking out for other people was my thing, but then you came along and smacked me in the face. I remember you said, “Well then who the hell is gonna look out for you, Winchester?” I’ve come to realize that I love it, because I know you will always be there for me,” she giggled, remembering that very day where she slapped him and told him that. 

“#7- You’re super smart - I thought that Sam was smart, but then you came along. You taught us both things that we never knew and I’ve always been jealous of how smart you are. Don’t feel bad babe, I’m just trying to compliment you. Every time we were stumped on a hunt, you spent no more than five minutes thinking before you figured out a way to get us out or to save more people. You’re the reason so many of our hunts go better than they would normally, and I know every family we save is grateful to you for that.”

“#8- You’re aces at researching - I hate researching, we all know that. But with you, Sam finally had someone to geek out with and to help research on a case. Both of your minds combined prove to be the most powerful thing in this world, no monster stands a chance. I have no idea how you actually enjoy it but I won't argue with it, for it’s saved all of our asses multiple times.”

“#9- You can cut a man's hair like a boss - Neither me or Sam are big fans of barber shops, so I’m also extremely thankful that you can cut hair. I don’t think anyone has cut my hair as well as you have, and you always manage to get it just the way I want it. I love you,” no matter how many times she heard him say it, it always managed to make her blush and her heart to beat faster. 

Smiling, she continued, “#10- You’re a great photographer - I never liked pictures and honestly I don’t think that I ever will. Thankfully, you force me to get in them and I’m so glad that you do. Because of it, we have so many beautiful pictures to look at and reminisce. My favorite picture you’ve taken was the one of all of us together. You set up the camera and had us all sit down on the couch, our kid on my lap. The happiness I felt that day with all of you was one of the greatest I had ever felt in my life. I will be forever grateful to you that you took that picture.”

Once again, there was more writing underneath the numbers, “Go to the place where I spend the most time in the bunker.”

It took her all of three seconds to know where he was talking about, their bedroom. She was slightly confused, due to the fact that the first paper was there, but continued on and went to their shared bedroom.

Opening the door, she looked around and wondered where the hell he could have put it. The bed? The closet? Under one of the guns? She thought back to his exact words “I spend the most time” and blushed. When they first started dating and even after they got married, Dean was insatiable. Always dragging her to the bed to try out something new, but she loved it every time. Walking over to the bed, she flung over the sheets to the side and saw a piece of paper under them on Dean’s side of the bed. 

Grabbing the paper, she read, “I could almost see the blush on your face babe, turn to the back,” she blushed harder at the fact that he knew exactly what she was thinking and followed his instructions.

“#11- You’re a loving wife - I never thought that someone as perfect and beautiful as you would even give me a second glance. Turns out, you would. I thought that you were just infatuated and that you would “get over me” but thank God you proved me wrong. Every single day, you make sure that I feel cherished, and I can’t even put into words how incredible that feels. I’ve never felt loved in the way that you give me before, and it’s a feeling that I never want to lose. I love you more than I’ve loved anything in my entire life.” She could feel the tears falling from her eyes onto the piece of paper, “Dammit, Dean. Now you’ve done it,” she sniffled.

“#12- You have a great accent - Just hearing you talk is like music to my ears. Don’t even get me started on your laugh, it's one of the cutest things I’ve ever heard and I can’t help but laugh right along with you whenever you do. That very same voice comforts me when I feel like shit, compliments me when I try and look good for you, and whispers sexy nothings into my ear that drives me insane,” her blush from before returned instantly, her face red as a tomato, a nervous giggle escaping her lips.

“#13- You’re absolutely gorgeous - From the moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew that you were everything that I wanted. Your eyes shine brighter than any light I’ve ever seen and your body is perfect, no matter how self conscious you get. I swear if I could, I would grab all of your doubts and insecurities and send them straight into the Empty, because you are perfect. You don’t need makeup, your natural beauty already puts all other people to rest.”

“Am I gonna be blushing this entire damn day? Jesus, Dean,” she chuckled.

“#14- You have incredible red hair - After I met you, my new favorite color was red. The way it shines off of the sunlight as the wind flows it through your face. I could just sit there and watch you for hours. You put Rowena to shame, babe.”

“#15- You wear plaid and “Winchester Clothes” - I think you look perfect in anything you wear but damn, the way you look in my clothes. It’s one of the reasons why I can’t get enough of you,” her face was so heated that she felt like she was going to explode. 

Taking a few moments to collect herself, she began reading once more, “You wear plaid better than Sam and I, and I’m all for it, babe.”

Once again, there was more writing underneath it, “Go to the thing I love fourth most on this planet.” 

She knew that herself, Sam, and her child were the first three, so Baby had to be the fourth. Shaking her head with a laugh, she left the room and went over to the garage. She still didn’t understand the point of all of this, when will the numbers end? Why is it all about me? She had a few questions swimming around her mind but continued on regardless. 

Reaching the garage, she walked over to Baby and opened the drivers side door, getting in and closing the door behind her. She looked around the seats and under them, checking the back as well. She was about to go check the trunk until she opened the passengers side compartment and saw a piece of paper inside. 

“I know you must be wondering what this is all about since you’re adorably oblivious, but just enjoy the ride, sweetheart. You’re almost finished.” She sighed in annoyance with a smile on her face, “Who says I’m oblivious?”

She turned the paper around to see another five numbers written on it, “#16- You’re a good hugger - Now, while this might seem kinda like “ok?? What’s so good about that?” kinda thing, it isn’t to me. I can’t even count the amount of times that I felt broken, and you hugged me. It felt like you were slowly putting all the pieces back together by simply holding me. It gave me such a comforting feeling, once again reminding me that I wasn’t alone, and that you were there for me. I only hope that I can manage to do the same for you.”

“Of course you do, you dummy,” she laughed out, trying to hold her tears back. The sheer amount of times that she felt safe in his arms was uncountable. She was so grateful to him for that and she felt overjoyed that she was able to do the same for him. 

“#17- You’re resilient - I remember the time that you were captured by demons to trap me. You held up for an entire day of torture without giving them an inch. I still haven’t forgiven myself for that, but I’m so glad that you managed to convince me to stay with you. We both remember how scared I was of losing you, how I still am. But if you didn’t convince me to stay, I wouldn’t be happy like I am now. I wouldn’t be married to the most incredible woman on this planet and I wouldn’t have a child that I would do anything for. I love you, Tabby.” 

She vividly remembered that time, she also remembered how horrible she felt for putting Dean through that. She was just as glad as he was that they managed to get past it and move on with their relationship. 

“#18- You have a vivid imagination - Before every hunt, you would always think of different ways that things could go down and explain it to us. Because of that, whenever the plan doesn’t work, we have what you perceived to help us win. You’re so incredible, sweetheart. That imagination has also helped in the bedroom, if you know what I mean.”

She could practically see the wink and smirk on his face, finding herself blushing once again at his implication, “You just had to go there, didn’t you?” she asked rhetorically with a chuckle. 

“#19- You love me - Yeah yeah yeah, I said it, suck it up. I think you are incredible because you love me, alright? You make me feel special and… goddamn it, now you got me talking about chick flick stuff. The amount of love written in your eyes whenever you look at me never ceases to take my breath away. I’m so grateful to you that you chose me out of all people to give your love to, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to be the person that you deserve.”

She felt her heart warm at his words, but also anger began to rise up inside of her, “You deserve love more than anyone else, you idiot.”

“#20- You’re a great mentor - When all those refugees came from the other world, you were the first to volunteer to teach them new things and to show them around our own. Because of you, all of them managed to adjust so much quicker to this world than they would have with us. Because of you, they managed to leave the bunker and go live out in our society. You are amazing, Tabby.”

“Go to the place that we had our first argument.”

She instantly recognized where he meant, the torture room. It was easy to remember because it was the first time that she thoroughly disagreed with him on something. They argued about whether they should use it to torture monsters or not, for her heart was still so pure, even monsters weren’t on her torture list.

Tabby closed the compartment in the passenger seat and got out of the car, all of the papers still in her hand, and walked through the winding turns of the bunker until eventually she reached the room. Going inside, she knew that the paper would be relatively easy to find, for the room was basically empty except for the chair in the middle of the room. Surely enough, when she walked in, the paper was sitting directly on top of the chair. 

She walked towards it and picked it up, “I remember this argument damn well, it was the first time we disagreed on something so heavily. In my defense, I had the mark at the time we had this argument so I’m using that as an excuse. Tough luck, sweetheart.”

She shook her head and scoffed, turning the paper over to read what she assumed were the next five numbers. 

“#21- Your sneeze is cute - Sure, this might seem irrelevant, but it’s not to me. Sometimes I would purposefully try and get you to sneeze just so I can hear how adorable it is. And yes, the pepper inside of the book you were reading was put there by me, I’m sorry, ok?! I just wanted to hear that cute sneeze of yours, I hope you’re not mad, princess.”

“Of fucking course,” she snorted.

“#22- You get overly excited about the smallest gifts or gestures - I have no idea why, but you just do. Yet another thing that is impossibly adorable about you. I remember I bought you a simple damn necklace I got for like $10 and you freaked out. I think it’s because you appreciate everything, no matter how small it is, and that is what makes you unattainable, baby. So precious and special, no man can have you. I just know that my favorite reaction from you was when I gave you that wedding ring. The look on your face when I got on my knees and took it out of my pocket was the best thing I have ever laid my eyes on. I truly love you, and I will try my damn hardest to always make sure you know that.”

She couldn’t help the tears from streaming down her eyes while she played with the ring on her finger, reminiscing about that day. It was the happiest day in her entire life, aside from when she gave birth to her daughter.

“#23- You love your mom - Now this might seem like an “oh everyone loves their parents, not a big deal” kind of thing, but with you it isn’t. You’re always checking up on her and seeing how she is, always offering to help with something when you really don’t need to. The amount of love and contempt you speak with when you talk about your mom is ridiculous, I’ve never seen someone able to hold so much love inside of their body. It’s inspiring and makes me want to be a better person. I don’t remember feeling that kind of love before, until you came along. You might argue that I felt it with Cassie or something but that was nothing compared to this. Hell, it makes it seem like a high school crush compared to how I feel about you. I never thought that I could love something or someone so much, but you came along and completely changed all of that.”

He was right and she knew it. Tabby loved her mom with everything that she had, and she was euphoric to know that she could give Dean that feeling as well.

“#24- You descent from fucking Vikings - I mean come on! How awesome is that? I’m so honored to be able to call you mine. You badass, intelligent, independent, incredible woman. This explanation is kinda short but come ON! Vikings??”

She giggled to herself as she read along, proud of her heritage and her bloodline.

“#25- You cook up the best breakfast - You are a goddamn Chef, babe. Ever since you walked into the bunker, me and Sam have been living the high life every morning with your damn good food. I used to think that I could cook well until you made our first meal. I knew then that I would bow down to you and beg for you to cook every meal I ever ate from then on.”

She smirked proudly to herself, knowing that she could cook up a killer meal.

“You’re almost done sweetheart, just one more. Go to the place that has to do with the last number.”

“Simple enough; the kitchen,” she spoke mostly to herself.

Even through all of this, she still couldn’t wrap her mind around what was going on. Maybe Dean was right and she was simply oblivious. Either way, she was having more fun than she would admit and was silently reveling in the amount of things that he found amazing about her.

Leaving the room, she made her way over to the kitchen, pausing at the door and once again huffing out.

“How the hell am I supposed to find a piece of paper in all of this?” she rhetorically asked, exasperated. 

Stomping her foot once or twice, she recalled the last piece of paper, reading once again that this was the last one. 

“Fine. Fine fine fine, this better be the last one,” she reluctantly gave in.

Tabby spent twenty minutes looking around for the damned paper, rummaging through the cupboards and even checking the oven. She sat down at the table and ran her fingers through her hair, arguing in her mind whether to continue to search for it or just find Dean and ask what the hell was going on. She decided to keep looking, already having gotten this far. There was only one other place that she hadn’t looked, once again, under the table.

“I swear if it’s under here,” she muttered while reaching her hand under the table and feeling around for the paper. 

Surely enough, she felt it and rolled her eyes, pulling it out from under and reading it, “Congratulations babe, you reached the end, though, I’m not done yet. Turn over to the back one last time.”

She followed his instructions, turning over to the back and noticing five more numbers written down.

“#26- You bake the best pies - I think this one is self-explanatory, but I’ll go ahead and explain it anyways. You, Hallie, and Sam are my top three, Baby is my fourth, and pie is my fifth favorite thing in this world. The first time you made me a pecan pie, I had to hold myself back from moaning loud enough that the damn angels in heaven wouldn’t hear me. Once again, babe, you are a goddamn Chef and you can cook better than anyone else on this planet. Yet another reason I fell for you, what can I say, bake me a pie and you’ve won yourself my heart.”

She chuckled at his ridiculous love for pies, though, she loved baking them, for Dean wasn’t the only one who loved them. She recalled multiple times that they had to fight over the last slice, resulting in them splitting it.

“#27- You can play the guitar - I love rock music, and every rock song has a guitar in it. You play the guitar. Put the pieces together. Come onnn, you can do it. Am I really gonna have to spell it out for you? Fine. I love rock music, you can play rock music, I love you. Once again, princess, you are completely oblivious.”

“Shut up,” she muttered angrily, a small smile on her face no matter how hard she tried to hold it back.

“#28- You have an amazing voice - Even though you don’t agree, me and Sam love listening to you sing. You sound like an angel and if you would, I would ask you to lull me to sleep. Your voice calms me down and always brings a smile to my face. Your voice is just as beautiful as you are, Tab, and I hope you know that, forever walking this Earth.”

She was blushing furiously, for she never thought that she was a good singer. To hear it from someone she held so dearly, was nothing short of incredible. 

“#29- You always try to save everyone you can - Obviously, every hunter should try and do that, but you go above and beyond. It’s not even limited to hunting. I remember that one time a bee somehow got into the bunker and I was two seconds away from killing it. You stopped me and instead trapped it in a glass and released it back outside, saving its life. You are so pure and radiate positivity, it’s just unheard of.”

She remembered that time; Dean had his shoe in his hand and was just about to swat it until she caught his hand and took control of the situation. Tabby always had the ideology that nothing deserved to die unless it did harm to others, and it had served her well as a human being.

“#30- You gave me our child - Another thing that I am infinitely grateful for and will always love you for. Because of you, I have managed to love not two, but three people in this world with everything that I have. Our child looks just like you, sweetheart. Which means that she is the most beautiful child on this planet and she’s gonna be a heartbreaker when she grows up, just like her mom.” Tabby chuckled with a fond smile, their child really was beautiful. 

She was wondering what was next, for this was the last paper, until she read the message on the bottom, “Boo!”

“Huh?” she asked out loud before she felt a presence behind her.

Turning around, she was shocked to see Dean with their daughter in his arms, Sam next to them.

“Oh my gosh, what’s this all about?” Tabby asked, getting out of her seat and taking her daughter from Dean’s hands.

“Did you forget what day it is?” Sam asked with a grin.

She thought back to the date and remembered that it was her birthday, “Oh! Right!”

Sam chuckled and shook his head while Dean just gave her a loving look, “Happy birthday, baby, I love you,” he spoke softly, before kissing her softly.

“I love you too, but what’s up with all of the numbers and the scavenger hunt?” she questioned, still as oblivious as ever.

“You’re turning thirty so I wrote thirty things that are amazing about you, sweetheart,” Dean replied, slightly smirking at his dumbfounded wife. 

She felt tears prick at her eyes as she looked at him, “I love you, Dean.”

She pulled him into a hug with their child included, Hallie giggling slightly in her arms.

“And I love you, Tabatha Winchester.”

Forevers Tag List: @magssteenkamp​ @shadowsinger11​ @donnaintx​ @flamencodiva​

[sortavibing]

hello , i was wondering if it was possible to ask for a matchup! if so here’s all my info !!! sorry if this is really long :/ i feel so bad i literally wrote u an ESSAY. 😰

my name is lizelle, i don’t really have any nicknames except for zellie (but that’s reserved for specific childhood friends and family members). my pronouns are she/her and i am bisexual. my personality type is enfp-t. i love writing, i’ve been doing it since i was in elementary school. i’ve also been dancing for ,,, 12 years now i think (i’m 17 :)) i also love listening to music, i could sit and listen for hours. i value trust more than anything in a relationship, i also enjoy someone who has a good sense humor. like rolling on the floor laughing type beat :) i LOVE baking, i stress bake. i also love reading and watching tv (my favs are game of thrones atla and aot) . i hate seafood, absolutely despise it, honestly i’m basically a vegetarian lol. i’m pretty short standing @ 4’11. i’m black and i’m a lil bit pudgy but i’m learning to accept it. thick thighs save lives bb 😌 so do big titties but u aint hear that from me 👀 i am a very secretly insecure person. which means i tend not to bring up my insecurities unless absolutely necessary or they’re forced out of me but they are DEFINITELY there, you just gotta be a little patient. my stomach, boobs, thighs, hair, skin color. growing up in a white town did wonders for my confidence as a kid 🤩 . i definitely use humor and fake confidence as coping mechanisms if you couldn’t tell LOL. and i would say i am the funniest damn person i know, nobody compares. when i get really exited or passionate about something i could go on for literal HOURS and i’d talk to anyone who will listen. ANYWAYS

i would like a romantic relationship ship please and thank uuu! you are an angel for writing these 😌 again i apologize for the length but heres my fucking dissertation.

i don’t know how to add onto another request ,, but i really forgot to add my zodiac sign 😐 anyways, IM A GEMINI! have a beautiful rest of your day and i cannot thank you enough for these. godsend 🙏🏾

i hate this legitimately what is my god damn problem. my love language is touch and i am also obviously the most forgetful person ever. i promise i’m done now 🥺 i am so sorry my brain is like …evaporatorating or some shit. also i hope you are receiving these OMLLLL.

ack hello lizelle! thank you so much for requesting! you seem like such a sweet person, and no worries about the separate asks, i got all of them :) please the talent to be able to dance for 12 years- that’s so amazing! anyways, here’s your matchup!

generating matchup…

matchup: complete

i match you up with osamu!

what first drew osamu to you was just how pretty you were- like he saw you while he was walking to class and just had to do a double take because he was internally thinking “holy fuck i need to talk to her”. atsumu saw his awe struck face, and made fun of him for a solid 3 days, but he didn’t really care, because he just wants to get to know you. 

he knows you are basically vegetarian, so he’ll surprise you at school with homemade vegetarian meals. he will always steal a little bit, because it looks so good, and he can’t resist, and you’ll pretend to get annoyed, but you still will let him take food every time. everyone on inarizaki is lowkey jealous of you because they want some of osamu’s cooking, but he only gives it to you.

on the weekends, you guys will bake together, and whatever you are making with him turns out super well, and you guys take so many pictures of the finished dessert. osamu loves to sample things while you guys are baking, so you always have to make sure he won’t eat all the ingredients before you finish. after you guys finish, atsumu will always try to take some, and if he tries, both of you literally attack him because no way in hell is atsumu going to get the first piece :)

he loves to listen to you talk, and you guys like to just vibe with each other, soft music playing, as you cuddle and he listens to whatever you want to rant about at the moment. sometimes he will put his opinion in, if you want him to, but he usually is just content to hear the sound of your voice, and learn more about you while you talk.

if you guys are taking a bus or subway, he will rest his hand on your thigh and trace circles on it, and pretend like he’s not doing anything, but you know he’s doing it just to get a reaction out of you. he will always subconsciously grab your hand if you guys are walking somewhere together, because he loves being around you, and lowkey showing everyone that you are his girlfriend.

osamu really likes to watch you dance, because he thinks you look like a true angel when you are dancing, and he’s just hypnotized by your graceful moves. the first time he went to one of your recitals, he was just amazed by your skill, and after it ended, he literally didn’t stop telling you how beautiful you were for a solid 30 minutes.

one weekend, you convinced him to binge alta with you, and he became lowkey obsessed. his favorite character was momo and the cabbage man, and whenever the cabbage man’s cart broke, he got lowkey annoyed and started insulting aang, which was really funny. his insta bio was #justiceforcabbageman for a solid week and you thought it was so cringey but cute at the same time, so you let it slide.

if you ever get insecure, he will be sure to shut it down quickly, because no one is going to slander his girlfriend, not even herself. osamu will immediately start telling you everything he likes about you (which is everything), and how lucky he is to be able to date someone as pretty, funny, and sweet as you are.

one of the first dates he took you on was a trip to a nearby city, where you guys spent the day just going to different small bakeries and trying the pastries, is arm around your shoulder or waist the entire time. the entire trip was so cute and aesthetic, and you both got so many ideas of what you wanted to make with each other next.

overall, you guys are such a cute couple, because it’s very obvious that both of you care for each other very much, though osamu tries (and fails) to be more lowkey about it. he is still surprised that you wanted to go without him, and he will do anything he can to keep you happy in your relationship.

i hope you enjoyed!

[esoanem]

I.

“Let me tell you a story, about a Spaniard named Vasquez...”

Following this fantastic video essay by Rowan Ellis (contains spoilers for the entire show), I am currently rewatching Black Sails. The first season has a slightly different tone from the rest of the show and, in particular, has a major sexual assault storyline. I know several people who have been put off from watching the show as a result

So, with that in mind, I’m gonna give summaries and content notes for the episodes of the first season as well as timestamps of any scenes with particular content people may want to avoid. Hopefully this information can allow people to either skip those scenes or, read the summaries of these episodes and skip them entirely

Anyway, this post is about the very first episode

Major Content Notes:

Violence: some bloody violence, shot fairly brutally

Wikipedia Synopsis:

John Silver joins Captain Flint's crew as his ship's new cook whilst secretly holding a highly valuable page of the Captain's Log, which he takes from the first cook, who had stolen it from the captain himself. Meanwhile, Captain Flint faces a potential mutiny from his crew and must work to secure their support. The Captain recruits his first mate Billy Bones' help to overthrow the mutineer's leader, Singleton. Meanwhile, Eleanor Guthrie tries to keep order on the lawless island of New Providence conducting her father's business, as the Royal Navy's suspicions of the pirates grow stronger.

There’s quite a lot going on in this episode, with several speeches establishing important themes, because it has to establish all the major players, and most of their relationships, so the summary is actually quite a long (albeit quite condensed from my 8 pages of notes). Below the cut are the timestamps of any scenes requiring any of the major content notes, and then the summary (which includes all the events of the episode)

Timestamps:

All timestamps are from the “Complete Collection” DVDs which includes a Starz logo at the start. Depending on your source, timestamps may vary a little, which is why I’ve included the timestamp for the opening titles. Timestamps are only given for the start and end of scenes featuring any particularly warning-worthy content

06:30: opening titles

56:23-60:30: Flint & Singleton’s fight. The violence here is pretty brutal & bloody, moreso than most of the rest of the series

Summary:

1715 West Indies

The Pirates of New Providence Island threaten maritime trade in the region

The laws of every civilized nation declare them hostis humani generis. Enemies of all mankind

In response, the pirates adhere to a doctrine of their own… war against the world

A merchant ship is attacked by Captain James Flint’s pirates on the Walrus. During the attack, the cook steals a page from a logbook, and ends up barricaded in a compartment with the coward John Silver (below). The cook plans to joint the pirates after the fight, saying a good cook is always in demand. Silver spots the pouch the page is hidden in, causing the cook to draw his sword

The rest of the crew barricade in a separate room, but eventually the pirates break in, defeat them and the pirate captain, Flint (below), gets the merchant Captain to surrender

The quartermaster Hal Gates (below) walks through the merchant ship assessing the prize as the crew breaks down the door to Silver’s compartment, in which he finds the cook dead, stabbed in the back, Silver claims to be a very good cook and asks to join

On the deck, Singleton (below, and also pictured in the background of Flint’s picture) is giving a speech to the captured merchant sailors, appealing to their sense of class consciousness

"Now that the fight is over, you have nothing more to fear from us today. Because we know this fight was not of your making, it was the choice of our true enemy, your true enemy, the tyrant captain. Many of us once sailed on ships like this one, we know what it is to be slaves to his whims, his violence, his shit wages! His insufferable stupidity! So we’ve made for ourselves a different life, where we don’t rely on wages”

The accountant Dufresne (below, note that he is played by a different actor as his original actor sadly died after the filming of the first season) assesses the prize as barely covering their costs and, after four prizes in a row with little profit, Gates is concerned about dissent in the crew, and that Singleton is angling for the captaincy

Flint and Gates appear conspiratorial over the logbook, saying it proves that this is the ship, but Gates quickly spots the missing page, the schedule, without which the logbook isn’t very useful in leading them to the greater prize

“let me see if I have this right. This is the fourth prize in a row from which the profits will barely exceed the expenses it took to win it, Singleton’s out there trying to convince your crew to torture that poor bastard of a captain simply because he hasn’t worked out how to get them to do it to you, but all’s well, because you’ve discovered, that the information we can’t tell anyone we’re looking for, exists on a page, that we don’t have“

A Royal Navy Man-o-War, the Scarborough is spotted (unusual seeing as she’s based in Boston), and the Walrus leaves behind the merchant ship so it can get away

Belowdecks, the Bosun, Billy Bones (above) introduces Silver to Randall (below), who used to be the Bosun before him, before he was beaten to within an inch of his life and “lost his wits, but not their loyalty”. Randall is mistrustful of Silver, apparently because he feels like Silver is replacing him. Billy emphasises the equality of the pirate ship, that everyone should get the same food, including the captain & quartermaster

Gates tells Flint that Singleton plans to replace him, and now has the votes to do so. Flint tries to manipulate Gates into blaming himself, even though the crew’s poor morale is due to Flint’s seemingly poor choice of prizes to chases. Flint says that with a few more days, the schedule could be reconstructed from the logbook, but he’ll need a favour from Richard Guthrie who is responsible for selling all the goods the pirates steal. When Gates is skeptical that Guthrie will help them, Flint says they’ll just go back to normal and pretend none of this ever happened & Gates calls him out for lying

The Walrus arrives in Nassau, and the crew go ashore (below). One of the pirates tells Silver that it used to be English, now it isn’t, and that now it’s “ours”. Gates tells Billy that Flint is going to ask Guthrie for a favour and is likely to react badly when he refuses, and tells Billy to go with him and, when the time comes, restrain him, so they don’t lose Guthrie’s business. As Silver is unloading the cargo, he notices one of the logbooks is not among them and deduces the page must be from the missing volume and is in Flint’s quarters

Silver then gets hazed. He is accosted and told he needs to see Blackbeard, who “meets the new ones, no exceptions”. When thrust into a smoky room he’s told contains Blackbeard, he realises that the person in the throne is not, in fact, the pirate Edward Teach, but rather a prostitute. When he questions this, she opens her coat, revealing a large black bush. The pirates laugh, tell him to yell if he gets lost in there, and close the doors. As Silver is stripped, and has sex with the five prostitutes, he keeps glancing for the page that has fallen out of his clothes

Gates goes to speak to Eleanor Guthrie (below, left), in her tavern. She is introduced berating a captain for being scared of the mere whiff of the Navy rather than going for profit, and clapping back at a drunk pirate telling her to fuck herself. Gates warns Eleanor & her right-hand man, the former slave, Mr Scott (below, right) about Singleton’s plan to take over, and asks for a loan to buy the crew’s loyalty. Eleanor eventually agrees, but Mr Scott chides her, saying that he doesn’t think her father would approve

Max (below), one of the prostitutes from Silver’s hazing pours some tea as he scrambles for the page, which she already found, having noticed that despite having “a whore for every finger on your hand, but your eyes kept drifting to this”. Realising it’s valuable, but that Silver doesn’t know anyone to sell it to, she offers to act as a middle-man, in exchange for half

Gates enters a tent with several of the black pirates and negotiates with the eldest of them, who he knows the rest will follow, to buy their votes. Despite having spent the entirety of Eleanor’s loan on other sections of the crew, he persuades them to side with him in exchange for payment taken out of the next prize. Unfortunately for him, Jack Rackham (below) spots him and tells Singleton that Gates has been buying votes

Silver sneaks into Flint’s cabin aboard the ship with Max waiting in a rowing boat, where he finds the logbook and matches the page to it, but disturbs a feather Flint had left

Meanwhile, Flint has his meeting with Richard Guthrie (below), explaining his plan, how he heard of it, how the logbook confirms his lead, and that he needs Guthrie’s contacts to reconstruct the schedule

“Let me tell you a story, about a Spaniard named Vasquez. A few weeks ago, he staggers into a tavern in port royal, takes a seat next to an English merchant captain. Vasquez, it turns out, is dying, bleeding to death from a knife wound to the belly. The knife wound was courtesy of his former employer la Casa de Contratacion in Seville”

“Colonial Intelligence?”

“Navy, more specifically. One of the top agents in the Americas, responsible for the security of one particular ship, a ship with a cargo so rich, the king of Spain is very anxious to see it launched. Vasquez warned that it was too late, storm season was upon them and no escort could be mustered to guard her, but his superiors demanded that he sign off. They advised him that if he couldn’t arrange for an escort, he should plot a course unknown to anyone but our captain, and consider that route to be a state secret of the highest order. When Vasquez refused and threatened to report his concerns to the court things got ugly. The ship in question? Urca de Lima. The largest Spanish treasure galleon in the Americas. According to Vasquez, total cargo in excess of 5 million dollars”

Guthrie refuses to help, saying that the ship is heavily armed even without an escort, and that even making enquiries would jeopardise his standing with the Spanish. Flint twists his arm and goes to break his fingers, asking Billy to threaten Guthrie with his pistol, but Billy instead aims it at Flint

They hear a commotion outside, it’s the British! Captain Hume of the Scarborough to be precise. Billy, Flint, & Guthrie have all returned to their positions to maintain the pretence of respectability, but Hume isn’t buying it treating us to his pontifications on the relationship between gossip and civilisation, and attempts to take them all into custody. Flint & Billy resist, defeating the Navy men, but Guthrie is shot in the shoulder

“Tell me something, Mr Guthrie. Do you have gossip here?

“Gossip?”

“I’ve often wondered if it can survive in so remote a location. You see gossip is what holds civilisation together. It reinforces shame, and without shame, well, the world is a very dangerous place”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand”

“Do you know what the gossip is in London about you? The gossip is that you make your profits selling ill-gotten cargo, stolen by the pirates of Providence Island”

Singleton confronts the leader of the black pirates about his change of heart. When they refuse to change back to his side, Anne Bonny (below right) appears together with Jack Rackham and she kills them

Before the leader is killed, Captain Charles Vane (below) comes out of the shadows too

Gates tells Mr Scott & Eleanor that he’s secured the votes, only to be told by one of the remaining black pirates that their leader was killed, and his last words were “Vane”. Eleanor decides to do something about Vane

Jack, Anne, & Vane are drinking in a brothel, and discuss their plan. Singleton will become captain, fail at it, and the skilled hands will then defect to their crew. We also find out that Jack & Anne are fucking. At this point, Eleanor storms in, and punches Vane. He punches her back and then offers her a hand to help her get back up. He follows her as she goes to clean up. She explains that he’s fucked her over, and we find out he used to love her and, despite grabbing her face, he still tucks her hair behind her ears suggesting conflicted feelings about that. She threatens to cut him off from selling goods, but vane points out that her father is the one who buys the goods, and he’ll always choose profits over daughters

Max sees that Eleanor has been hit, and leads Eleanor to her bedroom, hand-in-hand. She correctly guesses that Vane is the one who hit her and, when Eleanor blames herself she scoffs at it. She nurses Eleanor, they kiss, and then have sex

Flint & Billy sail away from Mr Guthrie’s mansion, with his pale, unconscious body. Flint strips Guthrie’s rings & wig, and explains that he plans to hide Mr Guthrie, so as to avoid panicking the crew when they find out their fence is burnt

Billy calls out Flint’s constant lying, and wonders if maybe Singleton is right, and they do need a change. This causes Flint to move aggressively towards Billy, but he puts his sword between them forcing Flint to keep his distance. 

“War is coming, one ship is not the war. When a king brands us pirates, he doesn’t mean to make us adversaries, he doesn’t mean to make us criminals, he means to make us monsters, for that’s the only way his god-fearing taxpaying subjects can make sense of men who keep what is theirs and fear no-one. When I say there’s a war coming, I don’t mean with the Scarborough, I don’t mean with King George, or England. Civilisation is coming, and it means to exterminate us. If we are to survive, we must unite behind our own king”

“We have no kings here”

“I am your king”

Flint tells Gates about Guthrie, and finds out that whilst they were gone, Singleton has called a council to vote on him taking the captaincy. Flint takes a moment in his cabin and, whilst flinging some furniture, notices the feather Silver had disturbed

Taking the logbook to the council, Flint tells them of his plan, and accuses Singleton of having stolen the schedule from the logbook

"I’m sorry. For the short hauls. For the trouble I’ve caused. But most importantly, for the disregard it seems I’ve shown you

“The most important element of a healthy ship is trust. Trust between men. Trust between captain and crew. Without it, a ship is doomed

“For the past few months, you and I have been on the trail of a prize so rich, it could upset the very nature of our world. And for that reason, I felt it necessary to keep it secret

“I didn’t trust you. And that was my mistake. Right now I would like to tell you that prize is within our grasp and we are close, so close. But it would appear that my concerns about secrecy had merit

“Someone on this crew discovered my plans. And tore from this log the very page necessary to discover that prize. Stole it for their own gain. Stole it from us. And then, stoked your resentment to cover his crime, and make himself your captain”

Obviously, Singleton is confused, and protests that he doesn’t know anything about this. Gates points out that this is a serious accusation, thievery being punishable by death, and a false accusation likewise. Per the articles of the ship, Singleton must either submit to a trial (with Gates as judge, who Singleton does not consider would be impartial), or they can settle it by sword

This fight is analysed in a lot of detail by Matt Easton (a historical fencing instructor, well versed in military sabre of the late 19th and late 18th centuries, so only shortly after the period of the show) here (may contain spoilers for later in the show, I don’t remember). Flint has good form, and is clearly well-trained, but Singleton is stronger, tougher, and more ferocious, easily gaining the upper hand

There is some back and forth, with Flint temporarily gaining the advantage, before losing it again, ending up injured and covered in blood. He is finally able to grab a cannonball and smash Singleton on the head, before crawling over him and beating him to death in front of a shocked crew

Flint produces a piece of paper, seemingly from Singleton’s bloody corpse, and offers it to Billy (seeing this page, Silver confirms that he does in fact still have the real page). Billy opens it, sees that it’s a completely blank page, but as Flint coolly holds his gaze tells the crew that it is in fact the stolen schedule

“Friends, brothers, the prize that you and I have been pursuing, is l’Urca de Lima, the hulk, a prize of almost unimaginable value, now with this page securely in our possession, we can begin our hunt, and we will succeed, no matter the cost, no matter the struggle, I will see that prize is yours, I’m not just going to make you rich, I’m not just going to make you strong, I’m going to make you the princes of the new world!”

The crew all cheer whilst Billy, Gates, and Silver, who all know that this page is not real look on in disbelief

Max is called from her room, where we see Eleanor sleeping naked on the bed by Idelle, one of the other prostitutes. She goes down to meet Jack & Anne and, sitting on his lap (which Anne does not like), tells them she has something she thinks they may want to buy

[jennfercheck]

What are some Just Eddie Things

oh anon you opened pandora’s box with this one

eddie spends a lot of time in his room listening to music. when he was a kid he found his dad’s old cds in a box and snuck upstairs to his room and spent all day listening to elvis and the platters and fleetwood mac and queen on his CD player (because he knew he’d be in big trouble if his mother found out he went digging through his dads things again) and so began his love of oldies and 70s music and he spends half of his childhood dancing around to his dad’s favorite music, jumping up on his bed and spinning in his desk chair and singing into his hairbrush

he likes to collect snow globes. which is interesting because he has never stepped foot out of derry. but his (cool) aunt travels all the time for work and so she sends him a snow globe from every new state she visits. he only has about 30/50 but he loves them all. his favorite is from oregon

he. lives. in. sweaters. he lives in them! he is always wearing them! christmas sweaters? check. university sweaters? check. oversized sweaters with horrific patterns on them? check. embroidered sweaters? check. eddie kaspbrak loves sweaters.

he claimed casper the friendly ghost as his favorite movie the second he saw it at age five. he heard “can i keep you?” and absolutely lost his fucking mind. also he liked to imagine that if his dad had lived, they would’ve been a lot like casper and his dad

when he got his nintendo DS the first thing he did was invite richie over so they could play their DS’s together. except they got so distracted by sending each other pictochats of poorly drawn portraits of them and their friends that they never actually got around to playing anything

he is ridiculously good at hide and seek. like to the point where the losers refuse to play with him. one summer, they played at bill’s house, and eddie hid in georgie’s toybox for two hours—he refused to come out because he wanted to see how long it would take them to notice that no one had found him. and they knew that was exactly what he was doing. so they left him up there for two whole hours

for the first four years of his life, he got constant ear aches, so he spent a lot of time on the couch with a warm rag over his ear and cartoon network on the tv (he would change it from PBS the second his mother fell asleep). his favorite show to watch was power puff girls and he didn’t care who knew it. and this is why his item for show and tell was a powerpuff girl book that READ the words in THEIR voices OUT LOUD in the first grade

bill is his designated errand friend. if eddie needs to pick up ibuprofen from the store, bill is there with him. if he needs to wander around a mall aimlessly to vent about his mom, bill is there with him. hungry? let’s go bill. wander around walmart aimlessly because there’s nothing else to do? come on bill i know you’re not busy.

when he gets his first ipod, his mom (unsurprisingly) puts a password lock on it so that whenever he wants to buy something she has to put her password in. one day she lets it slip that the password is his dad’s middle name. go figure that it’s HIS first name. and that’s how eddie ends up with “birthday cake” by rihanna on his ipod in eighth grade

every time he has to get gas, he drags someone along with him. it used to be richie but then he got gas all over eddie’s shirt because he pulled the pump out too fast and eddie had a panic attack because he thought that he was one second away from erupting into flames. so now he brings everyone but richie because he has ptsd

he hates vans. eddie kaspbrak said FUCK vans i would rather chop off my own feet than wear fucking vans, i’m not tony hawk, fuck you, i hate california and i hate you you van wearing fuck (words he actually said to richie once)

he sucks at writing papers so bad and eventually he has enough of sucking and goes to ben for help. they of course get sidetracked by talking about their crushes that go nameless because neither of them are about to admit who it is they’re really talking about but they both know and they both know that they know but ALSO know that what they say to each other is confidential

he draws hearts on everything... this is a Ceritifed Eddie Thing

he has never washed a dish in his life and one night they have dinner at mike’s and they have to clean up the mess and eddie is like “mike where’s your dishwasher” and mike’s like “oh we don’t have one :)” and eddie malfunctions he literally does not understand what that means at all because they only ever use the dishwasher at home because his mom says the soap and tap water could give him a rash

he loves roller skating but he acts like he isn’t good at it and then the losers go roller skating and he leaves them all in the fucking dust without a single glance back. they’re all fumbling against the wall (mike is able to go around with some mild wobbling) and eddie just glides past them like “it’s easy!” and everyone yells at him to shut up all at once

his favorite color is purple. that’s all

he doesn’t really like to be touched all that much. and physical affection makes him feel Weird. but. he fucking loves hugs. he loves hugging and being hugged (but only by the losers.) in most loser club photos eddie can be found clinging to a member

and last but certainly never least: he loves taking pictures but like only of his friends. his entire camera roll is just photos of his friends literally just existing. bev laying in the grass during the summer with a smile on her face. mike leaning his head on stan’s shoulder while they laugh at something together. ben gaping at richie because he said something particularly upsetting about their history teacher. bill jumping with georgie on the trampoline with a big ol smile on his face. richie with ten french fries stuffed into his mouth. a blurry self timer photo of them crammed into a booth at a diner at 2am, whipped cream on their noses because apparently it was going to look funny according to mike. and eddie loves every single one

[softbiker]

Born to Run - Chapter 6

Warnings: some language, breaking and entering, panic attacks, also sloppy editing and bad writing

Word count: 2.7k

A/N: Oof this chapter. I’m not sure how I feel. But anyway! Here we go. As always, let me know what you think! Thanks for supporting this series!

“You are coming up for the shower next month, aren’t you? I don’t think Sarah sent you an invitation but she told me to ask you.”

Y/N tilted the receiver of her phone away from her mouth and sighed.

“I’ll try to make it, Mom. It’s just a really long drive for a weekend.”

“Well, sure. I understand, honey.” Her mother wouldn’t say she was disappointed, but Y/N could practically feel it through the phone. “Just...let me know okay?”

“Sure, I will.”

“Everything at the clinic still going okay? Have you met any friends?”

She thought about that for a second - slow days at the clinic, the new group of not-technically-criminals that had somehow adopted her.

“Yeah, yeah. Everything’s fine.”

**********

Having never been a medic for a biker gang, she was a little unsure what to expect. How often would they need her? What would the hours be like? Were they trying to induct her into the gang? For several days after she accepted the Avengers offer, Y/N bit her nails and paced and worried over it, agonizing over her decision. She waited for them to show up on a daily basis with life-threatening injuries and half-baked explanations. She took to hovering near the reception desk at the clinic, watching for them to come through the door.

But, to her surprise, everything stayed quiet.

Bucky was helped from her couch and back to his own by Steve and Sam, and she checked on him for a week or so, monitoring how his wound healed. But beyond that, the Avengers made themselves scarce. They had made such a fuss about needing her, recruiting her, that she anticipated they would practically want her moving into the clubhouse. The fact that they were mostly leaving her alone felt...suspicious. She waited for the calm to break, for a storm to hit.

By the time Natasha Romanoff walked into her clinic, Y/N was starting to wonder if this mysterious club needed her at all.

You couldn’t help but notice when a woman like Natasha entered a room - all full lips and hourglass figure and studded leather jacket. She breathed confidence into that tiny waiting room with every step of her motorcycle boots, pushing her sunglasses up to hold back that sweep of fiery hair. Much to her frustration, Y/N noted she felt slightly intimidated as the redhead strutted her way up to the reception desk.

Natasha’s eyes slid past Charlotte, whose mouth was hanging open, and directly to Y/N, standing slightly further back as she put away a set of files. Her smile was picture perfect.

“Good afternoon, doctor.” She tilted her head to the side and raised a brow. “Any plans for the night?”

And that was the story of how Y/N found herself on the back of a motorcycle for the first time.

Heart in her throat, hands around Natasha’s waist, they sped down the highway taking turns at a speed that made her close her eyes. They had stopped off at her house first, letting her take her car home and change. Natasha tossed a spare helmet her way and they were off.

“The clubhouse” they called it, and she had no idea what to expect, what it would look like. Her brain could conjure up plenty of ideas, and none of them were particularly pleasant. In her head, she saw a ramshackle dive bar overflowing with men who could only be described as sketchy, complete with too much booze and loud rock music.

But you signed up for this, she reminded herself. Couldn’t turn down the money.

“Almost there!” Natasha’s muffled voice shouted over the wind. The road ahead of them took a long, banking curve around a newly-cut cornfield, and then she saw it.

The motorcycles parked around the building were a dead giveaway. For the most part, it wasn’t as seedy-looking as she expected - the clubhouse looked like a dated community center with its painted brick and metal roof. A sign by the door proclaimed it as the “Avengers M.C.”, and a few neon beer signs hung nearby. Scattered near the door were a handful of smokers, all in leather jackets, who looked up as Natasha pulled into the parking lot. She parked the bike close to the entrance and leaned up, prompting Y/N to pull her arms away.

“Don’t be nervous in there, okay?” Natasha said, smoothing her hair after she removed her helmet. “They’re a pretty chill bunch, and they know not to bother you.”

“They do?” Y/N handed her helmet to Natasha and swung her leg off the bike.

“Sure. Steve and Bucky gave ‘em this whole speech - basically, if they mess with you they’ll get their asses kicked.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. Why should they care? It put her back up a little bit, that these strange men felt they needed to protect her for some reason. She’d been taking care of herself long enough, she’d be just fine.

When Y/N walked into the club behind Natasha, though, she changed her mind. Eyes were on her from every corner of the place, turning from pool games and poker and TV to watch her as they crossed the room to find a bar at the back. The back of her neck prickled at the feeling of every gaze on her, and she subconsciously took a step closer to Natasha.

They leaned up against the bar, club members moving aside to make a space for them, and Natasha gave a winning smile and wave to the man wiping down glasses on the other side.

“Hey, Nat - whiskey?” he asked, already grabbing a bottle from the shelf.

“Make it two, Clint.” Nat turned slightly to Y/N. “You do like whiskey, right?”

“Sure.”

The bartender, Clint, looked more like a dad than a biker in her opinion, but Y/N said nothing as he poured their drinks and slid them across the bar, giving her a kind smile.

“So, you’re the new medic, right?”

“That’s me.”

“Heard you saved Barnes’ ass a couple weeks ago.”

“She sure did.”

She jumped at the sound of a voice over her shoulder, having not noticed a presence that close. Bucky smiled when she turned and met his eyes, tucking a strand of his hair back where it had fallen from its low bun. He looked more handsome than the last time she’d seen him - not that she was looking - but not having a life-threatening stab wound will do that to a guy. He had a hoodie on under his same old leather jacket, making him somehow softer around the edges. As he shuffled onto a stool, he made a quick gesture to Clint, who grabbed another glass and the whiskey.

“Hi,” he said softly, eyes flicking between hers. “Long time no see.”

“Yeah, well. You’ve managed to go nearly two weeks without getting stabbed.”

He grinned as Clint slid him his own whiskey across the bar.

“I have to get stabbed for you to visit your neighbor?”

“Afraid so.”

“Pretty high price, doll.”

She blinked at the pet name, wondering if she had heard him correctly. Who even says stuff like that anymore?

“Did you - did you just call me ‘doll’?”

An embarrassed smile curled Bucky’s mouth as he shifted in his seat.

“Sorry, it sort of slipped out,” he laughed. “Is that okay?”

She tried not to look too terribly pleased when she said “yes”.

Behind them, Nat and Clint shared a smile across the bar.

**********

Standing outside the little house, he saw that a light had been left on in the living room. Her car was parked in the driveway, but he knew that no one was home. His lieutenant had seen her leaving on the back of Romanoff’s bike. Probably on her way to that clubhouse.

It was just like he thought. Took all of 5 minutes for her to get involved with Rogers and his crew. Shame, he thought, popping his bubblegum. She seemed like a smart girl. Pretty, too.

But, oh well. She made her choice.

**********

“What do you mean you’ve never seen Star Wars? How can a person not see Star Wars? It’s a classic!!”

She could barely respond to him, nearly doubled over in laughter.

“I don’t know, okay! My mom hates sci-fi so that stuff was practically banned from my house.”

“Wow. Wow.” Bucky shook his head. “We’ve gotta fix this. I can’t let you go through life not knowing Star Wars, I feel like this is my responsibility now.”

They fell into conversation so easily, she wondered why he had barely spoken to her before. In minutes he had her in stitches and smiles, always asking her about herself and listening with that intent look in his eyes. Bucky had made her laugh more in the last couple of hours than she had in...months, maybe longer. It was just so easy to talk to him. Like they’d known each other for years.

“Fine then, Barnes - my sci-fi education is in your hands.”

The clubhouse had slowly emptied over the course of the evening, until only a handful of them were left. Bucky and Y/N had moved from the bar to a couple of couches where Steve and Sam dropped down next to them. Clint was in an armchair with Nat perched in his lap, and a girl named Wanda sat in the floor, leaning against Steve’s legs. They had been discussing movies, a hobby of Clint’s, when Y/N had revealed her lack of Star Wars knowledge. As it turned out, Bucky was quite the nerd, wrapped up in tattoos and leather. The others watched them banter with secret smiles, eyes bouncing between the two.

Clint yawned loudly, head falling back in the chair.

“What time is it?” he whined. “I had to get up early this morning.”

“About 11:30,” Sam said, checking his phone. Y/N’s eyebrows went up.

She had spent the entire night with these people, some of whom she had never met before. And all of them seemed so...normal? Granted, a different standard of normal, but still. They passed around beers and shared inside jokes, and made her feel welcome. Made her feel...at home. Glancing between the members of the little circle, she could see how close they were, like a family. And they wanted her here, wanted to bring her in.

She wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

“Alright, I think I need to be heading home,” she sighed, standing from the couch and stretching.

“Aw, you’re leaving us?” Wanda pouted from her place on the floor.

“Yeah, you could just stay over at the clubhouse,” Nat suggested.

“Well,” Y/N shifted, uncomfortable. “I...just really like sleeping in my own bed, you know? And I didn’t bring any extra clothes or anything, so.”

There were a few more protests from the group, but she shot them all down as gently as she could - she couldn’t help it. She just wasn’t ready for a biker sleepover. The only person who didn’t try to convince her was Bucky, who hopped up from the couch and started pulling his jacket on.

“You leaving too, Buck?” Steve raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, yeah, I -” his cheeks flushed a little. “I thought I’d drive you home.”

Oh.

“Nat did bring you on her bike right? So you don’t have your car?” He continued.

Y/N had forgotten that, but yes. She did need a ride. And he was the most convenient, considering he lived across the street. She watched as he adjusted the sleeves of his hoodie underneath the jacket, pulled the hood out from under the collar. The way he was looking at her, that hopeful little light in his eyes…

“Sure, I guess I do need a ride,” she shrugged, trying to ignore the way his face lit up.

“Then let’s roll, doc.”

Being on the back of Bucky’s bike felt...different from Nat’s. His was more of a classic body style, a cruiser, with much more room for a second passenger. But more than that, the way she fit perfectly with her legs and arms wrapped around him, it felt - well. It was just different. She wouldn’t let herself choose a word other than that.

The drive back home was quiet along those stretches of country highway, and she found herself relaxing further, laying her head against Bucky’s back. He reached up and squeezed one of her hands twice, before putting his own back on the handlebar. It should have felt strange - too much, but it didn’t.

When he pulled up to her driveway, she almost didn’t want to get off the bike. The engine and the night air and Bucky had lulled her into a sort of trance. She felt like she was sleepwalking as she slowly shifted back and loosed her hold on him. He held out a hand and helped her get off, his eyes tracking her face.

“Did you -” he stopped to clear his throat. “Did you have a good time tonight? Hanging out with us, I mean?”

“I did, actually. They’re not what I expected,” she spoke softly, not wanting to move. “You’re not what I expected.”

“Is that so?” His smile was lazy, sweet. He ducked his head a little, an effort to hide the slight flush in his cheeks.

“Mhm.” She was lingering, waiting in her own driveway for something she wouldn’t name.

“Well, good night Bucky.” With enormous self-control, she backed away, fishing for her house keys.

“‘Night, doll.” He never looked away from her as she crept away, up the porch, and to her door.

The second she was inside, she knew something was wrong.

She couldn’t put her finger on it, not there in the doorway, but her gut was surging with anxiety. Something - that smell, what was that smell? Not her own, not her house - something here didn’t belong. She shuffled forward in the dark, creeping along the wall until her hand found the lightswitch and-

“Oh my god.”

Her house, her lovely little house was destroyed. Furniture overturned, photos and paintings on the floor, vases broken. There were marks on the walls as though someone had left streaks of paint. Broken glass littered the carpet, turning the room into a minefield. And, oh god, oh god - black spray paint across the far wall-

LEAVE WHILE YOU CAN BITCH

A skull and crossbones underneath.

She wasn’t proud of the way she started to cry.

Bucky could tell something was wrong when Y/N left the door hanging open - a young woman going into her home at midnight doesn’t leave doors open, not one as smart as her. He waited a minute, then two, in her driveway - he told himself it was just a precaution, just in case…

Then he tiptoed up the porch, calling her name; he pushed on her open door, one hand reached for where his gun was tucked into the waistband of his jeans.

She was in the floor, the epicenter, the eye of this hurricane of her furniture and her home and her life. Curled in on herself, Y/N sat with her arms around her knees, breath coming in stutters and tears running down her face. Bucky dropped to his knees in front of her, hand leaving his gun and reaching for her instead.

“Hey, hey you’re okay,” he soothed, hands rubbing up and down her arms. “You’re alright.”

“Oh my god, oh my god,” she kept whispering to herself, lips trembling. It was so hot and her chest was so tight, and she couldn’t - couldn’t breathe.

Bucky scrambled around on the floor, crawling behind her and wrapping her tight in his arms, locking his legs around her own. He crossed her arms over her chest and pressed her in, in, in - folded her up so he could surround her. With her head tucked under his chin, he rocked her back and forth on the floor.

“Everything’s okay, I’ve got you,” he repeated again and again. He closed his eyes. “I’ve got you, you’re safe.”

You’re safe you’re safe you’re safe.

[moonlightstars16]

“Your Order, Universe”

30 Days Connverse Challenge

Day 14 ~ Homework and/or Job work

It was a busy day in the diner. Customers came in for the lunch rush and Connie was literally skating past them, making sure they got everything they ordered in a more sufficient amount of time. This was only a part-time job to help her with funds for things to do and such. Her parents already got her college tuition covered, but that didn't leave much for her to spend on. Which was okay, rather earning money than begging for it on little things.

Her uniform was just an apron, her name tag and hair pulled back. She added the skates to help her out. Sighing inwardly from the already tiring lunch rush, she set down a few plates of food with a smile. The family she was waiting on was so much nicer than her average customers. One can only be 'hangry'(hungry-angry), for so long before one realizes being rude is apart of their personality. Setting the sweet young boy and girl their chocolate shakes, with extra toppings because they have been so good amongst all the crazy.

"Is there anything else I can get you?"

"Oh thank you, we're good. But please tell us how you manage to keep a smile on your face even amongst all the chaos?" The mother spoke with a slight concerned expression.

"Well to tell you the truth I don't know myself." Connie joked with a laugh as the family did the same. "Actually there is one reason-" Before she could finish, the regulars around her were gesturing and informing of the familiar portal opening right in front of the diner. The family looked outside and gasped as a huge pink lion came out. The children gasping with chocolate covered mouths in awe and wonder while the parents had a terrified expression.

"What the heck?!" The father getting up quickly from his seat. She placed a hand on his shoulder with a reassuring smile.

"Oh don't worry. His name is Lion and he's such a friendly creature. In fact he's apart of my family. But if you will excuse me." She glanced at the cook's window and smiled when her gestured the 'okay' sign for her to go on break. "I have someone meeting me here." In a rush, skating down past the tables, while the regulars came up to the family to explain, and ran out the door to hug the gentle animal. Lion licked her face before allowing Connie to hug and sink into his soft mane, laying his head over her shoulder.

"How's my sweet Lion? Huh?" She kissed his head while rubbing and petting his sides and all over. Making him sit and lay on the ground, rolling into his back. She rubbed his belly ignoring the stares from the people inside.

"Funny, I thought it was 'our' sweet Lion." With a gasp she looked up and smiled brightly at a familiar half gem who stood right before her. Hands in his jacket pocket, a beanie on half on the backside of his head with a few black locks(more so in the front), around the brim.

"Steven!" A smile on his face as she leapt into his arms, whilst he held on tight and spun her around a couple of times. Her laughter is always his favorite song. Chuckling he set her down before being attacked by an intense kiss to which he complied easily. "I didn't think I would see you back so soon!" Connie exclaimed pulling back and looking up at him. Taking in all his facial features...again. She had done that every time they met since he left from Beach City almost a year ago.

"Two months is too long. Man I have so much to tell you."

"Well before you do, are you hungry?" Her question was answered when his stomach growled loudly. Making him blush with a smile, hand behind his head rubbing his neck. Without another word she grabbed his arm and lead him back into the diner. Having him sit on the counter since the rest of her shift would behind it as well. Her co-worker's took the rest of the floor.

After a good hand-washing and telling the cook the special order for him, she went back to work. "You're Order, Universes." She said semi playfully while setting down his food a few minutes later. Continuing to serve other customers while glancing at his direction every chance she could get.

Listening as Steven told her about going by Empire City to play a gig, then going to a little country town and somehow meeting an old singer his dad used to love when he was a kid. A couple of pictures texted and Greg was there in less than two hours. Which would've taken four usually. Connie giggled shaking her head.

"It was the most bizarre thing to see. My dad, fanboying in front of his favorite music artist who inspired him to go into the business. I never had seen him that happy before." Lifting the mug of hot tea to his lips, allowing the sweet, Green tea to sooth his throat.

"I think you gave your dad a great gift." Wiping up the counters from the lulled time between the lunch and dinner rush. "I'm sure he was beyond grateful."

"Oh he was, it was amazing. ... wait.... I just gave him the ultimate gift..."

"Yes?" An empty dish bucket/tray at her hip with an arm on the rim, picking up the leftover dished around the other tables.

"I can't top that! Any other gift will be put to shame. Oh what will I do?!" A hand over his forehead as he leaned back in a dramatic fashion. Earning a slap on the stomach with a rag from Connie. Steven winced and rubbed where she hit him. "Hey I was joking...well sort of."

"Steven, you can give your dad a lot of things and he'll appreciate them because it came from your heart." Sighing she picked up the dishes on the table she waited on a few hours ago. Picking up the napkin holder to clean it, she gasped upon seeing the wad of cash and a note attached with her name on it. Reading the contents she covered her mouth with tears in her eyes.

"Connie?" Steven stood up and walked over to her as she turned to him with the entire five hundred dollars in cash. "What the-?"

"The parents are supporters of Jay Hawk University. I had conversed with them about it for a bit whenever I brought them their drinks. The mom is a recruiter as well and the dad teaches too! They said as soon as I send in my applications this coming year, and my grades are good, I'll be accepted! I don't know why, they didn't really explain much other than they liked my integrity, positive attitude and creative critical thinking skills." She gestured to the skates while trying not to cry other than a few tears falling from her cheeks.

"I think that's a great reason Connie! That's awesome, I'm so proud of you!" He spoke giving her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.

"I-I'm going to Jay Hawk.... I'm going to get in!" With  a happy squeal she hid the money in her pocket and wiped away her tears. Steven smiled widely, watching as she finished her work with a huge smile and humming a catchy tune. With a smirk he went over to one of her co-workers and asked them a special favor.

An hour later Connie was off from her shift and was now spending the evening with Steven. Finding an old empty playground near her home, they swung on the swings, slid down the slides and hung on the old climbing bar structure. Careful of the rainy dew making the metal surface slippery. The fireflies were glowing with the crescent moon and stars. Illuminating the area just enough for them to see. Steven soon whistled after awhile, as they sat on a nearby bench, Lion came up with a picnic basket in hand, getting from the Dondai of course. Lifting it up to her with a smile so wide he shut is eyes.

"Steven you didn't"

"Oh but I did. Anything for my strawberry." He winked, watching as she blushed and lifted the lid up with a gasp. Chocolate covered strawberries, a couple of cheeseburgers with fries(wrapped tightly in foil so it was still warm), a couple of drinks and two slices of the diners famous pie.

"What's all this for? Because we haven't seen each other in two months?"

"Yes, but also we are pre-celebrating your future acceptance into Jay Hawk." Taking her hand in his, he gazed into her eyes. "Connie I saw you working so hard back there. I've seen you put your all into studying for a test. You deserve so much more. If I could give you the world, I would do so in a heartbeat." He lifted up with his other hand a small chocolate treat. "For now, this is the best I can do." Opening her mouth he fed it to him with a smile and loving gaze.

"Steven, you already gave me something even more special."

"I did?"

"Of course silly!" Reaching up she touched his cheek, pressing her hand against his soft skin. "I have the best boyfriend. You gave that to me. You kept your heart open even through all the hard times. Loving me like I love you. I once told you I want to be a part of your universe. Not only did you give me the world, you gave me just that. The universe... your universe."

"Oh Connie... that was kind cheesy." Rolling her eyes she moved closer.

"Just kiss me already." With a chuckle he did so, the stars shining down on them like a stage spotlight. They relished in the moment before beginning to eat within the moon's bright light. Conversing the rest of the evening as they spent every moment living in it with each other.

[charmisticdisappointment]

A Special New Year. Final Chapter : Marry Me?!

Hey guys! Here's the final chapter. Pretty sure the title gave it away but I hope you all still give it a read and like it.

Please like, share and comment.

Please note none of the pictures used are mine and credit goes to respective owners!

Have a great read!

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It was New Year's Eve. Your brother was putting up the lights and your cousins were off decorating the house. You were helping the ladies at the kitchen. Just when your about to start getting dressed, you received calls from your friends and colleagues wishing you an advanced New Year. Talking on the phone you didn't realize time had passed by real quick. Ending the last and final call, you start brushing your hair. You put on a beautiful red dress you picked while shopping with your sister in law. You make sure you're looking perfect in it. You get some light makeup on and start searching for your earrings which you can't find when you need them.

While lost in looking for those earrings, you fail to realize Chris walking towards you. He holds you quietly from behind and showers you with kisses on your neck. "Hey beautiful."

"Hey Chris. I didn't see you come in", you said, happy in his embrace.

Chris was in a pitch black suit. His hair just perfect as always. Amazing tie, of course. He just looked so amazing.

"I just can't find my earrings", you say getting back to your senses.

"Actually you don't have to search for it"

"What do you mean", you look at Chris confused.

" Its not too much but I got you a present", he hands over a neatly packed box. 

You carefully open it to reveal a beautiful necklace and matching earrings. Before you could say anything. Chris brushes your hair off you shoulder, takes the necklace and puts it on you. It looks so beautiful. He helps you with your earrings too.

"You look like a dream Y/N", he says.

"Thank you. This looks beautiful. But you shouldn't have"

"No need to thank me. I just wanted to!"

Not able to hold himself, he just steps forward and hugs you.

"I've got a gift for you too. I hope you like it cause *Y/Niece/N* helped me pick it out". You hand him a small Tiffany box.

Once he opens it he couldn't help but laugh. "You know in my entire career I've never owned a pair of these. About time! Help me out" he asks as he takes his Captain America cuffs and puts them on.

You walk down, hand in hand, making both your Moms smile wide.

"You look beautiful honey!". It was Chris's parents. You'd met them couple of times when Chris took you home to meet his family. They were warmest bunch and you were more than happy to spend New Year's Eve with them. It almost felt like extended family.

"Thank you. Please make yourselves comfortable", you say.

"And your parents are wonderful. Your dad and I already have golf plans", Chris's dad says. "Oh god. Does that mean a double amount of golf jokes". "Most probably" they said simultaneously drowning in laughter.

"Did you like the gift Y/N. Chris spent an entire evening on it. He said he wanted to make it special. And I just can't get him to stop talking about whether you'd like it", she laughs playfully. "I love the gift and its really sweet of you to come down here today". "Chris wouldn't miss it for the world honey", she said making you blush.

The evening officially begins when your dad asks you for a dance.

"Time to show you what I learnt" you say making him laugh.

"It wasn't my idea, entirely your mom's".

"Haha of course. Dance lessons. It wasn't a bad idea after all", you say looking at Chris.

"Don't think I didn't catch that look young lady", you dad says bringing back your focus.

"Oh it's nothing dad"

"It always is nothing Y/N", he said with a wink.

After your first dance, Chris comes by and asks you for a dance.

"I got an eye on you young man", your dad says as he kisses you lightly in the cheek.

Chris slowly pulls you closer and sways along to the music. Chris' silence was worrying you.

"Something bothering you?" you ask.

"You look beautiful Y/N", he said smiling at you.

"Nice save mister. But what's going on on your mind? "

"You'll know in a while! "

"Can't wait"

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Everyone were soon seated at the table indulging in the wide spread your mom had created. Music still playing softly in the background while the other couples swayed until their children interrupted them. Everyone were busy talking about how this year had been and what they're looking forward to in the coming year. Throughout the evening Chris' gaze followed you as to spoke to everyone else. He seemed a little off today, he was definitely worried about something. But put on a happy face and dodged any questions.

It was five minutes close to new year, so all of you gather around in a circle, holding hands as per family tradition. The last one minute and the countdown begins. Its feels amazing having Chris holding your hand and counting, he already feels like family and his parents, it looked like they were having an amazing time too. Three....Two.....One. New year!

Wow that was quicker than you thought. You turn to Chris and give him a tight hug. "Happy New Year!", he wishes you like an excited kid. "A happy new year to you too" you say and give him a soft kiss.  

There was one last tradition to be completed. Wishing. Every year, everyone got the chance to tell their resolutions. This always made you nervous. One by one, everyone called out their resolution and it was your turn.

"This year I hope, hope being the keyword here, I hope to make more decisions with my heart. Love more. Accept the ways of the universe. Welcome new friends who are literally now family and less tripping while dancing", you say making everyone laugh a bit.

It was finally Chris's turn to say his resolution out aloud.

"Loving you forever", he said looking at you.

Everyone stood there, not moving an inch, just staring at Chris and then back at you. You just stand there confused and surprised.

"Y/N, I've known you for three months now and I can't think of living without you. You're not only beautiful. You're smart, talented and, yes, a workaholic. We can work on that", he's says making you laugh a bit. You head was close to spinning.

"There is a piece of jewelry I missed out on giving you", he said making you wonder what he was talking about.

*Oh god. Is he talking about a ....* your thoughts were interrupted when he got down on one knee. You looked at your Mom tear eyed and she was on the verge of crying. You look back at Chris and see him holding a beautiful diamond ring.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking and the only thing I can hear is you saying 'Life is Short'. When I have a bad day I want to come home to you. When I have a good day I want to come home to you. You're my home I've been looking for my whole life. I know marriage is a huge step, but I'm willing to take it, with you. Marry me Y/N!"

"So did you write this down",  you ask him crying,  "Because its something I'd love to tell our grand children".

"So is that a yes??".

"Of course Chris. It is. Yes, a million times yes!".

Chris puts that gorgeous ring to your finger and hugs you. Everyone around is cheering and clapping. Your mother's were hugging each other and crying almost hysterically.

Your brother cheering in disbelief gave your father a $100 bill and asked him "How did you know?". "Dads always know", he said shoving the note into his pocket and congratulating with Chris' father.  

Your sister-in-law was trying her best to calm your extremely upset niece as she wanted to be the one to marry Chris :P. And you could faintly hear Miles chant "I don't wike it" for the same reasons while his mother tried to calm her down.  

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It was only the two of you in your backyard, watching the stars wrapped in each other's arms.

"Can I have a dance?", Chris asks you.

"I'll never say no. Because this is why we met in the first place!"

You hold onto him like you life depends on it and sway. The cool breeze complimenting the mood. You smiled at the way things had played out. You always tried to control things, it was just how you were. But now, the universe had shown you, that maybe just once by letting your heart take over, everything would fall into place. You were thankful for taking those dance lessons, the ones you thought of backing out from, which led you to meet the love of your life. 

For the first time in forever Chris felt at peace, having found his home, who he held in his arms this very moment. He closed his eyes, enjoying your embrace as he swayed you, which helped him control his adrenaline rush. He was thankful he ran into you, hurting you almost on his first day of dance lessons. He was content. 

"How do you think Mrs. Rose will react to this turn of events?" Chris asked breaking your thoughts.

"I think major panic attack and main feature in her website about how her dance lessons creates magic" you said making him laugh. "But she's the first person on our guest list for the wedding. We wouldn't be here if she didn't pair us together."

"Definitely. Who knew Mrs. Rose was a visionary"

"Oh I did" you joke making Chris laugh.

"Chris?"

He looks down at you pausing for a while.

"I love you"

He chuckles.

"I love you too dork. Till the end of the line remember!" he says pulling you close as you sway to the music and pulls you in for a kiss.

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The End!

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Loads of Love and Take Care! 

30 Days of Chris : @jtargaryen18​