#not pictured: giant spider pod
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My GM asked what Pod would look like if he wildshaped into a horse and I got carried away. With and without his hat.
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Monsters 3
SFW
Yandere Monster Author
Horror Beyond Comprehension
Vampire Prince
Adopt-A-Monster/Rent-A-Monster
Demon King Christmas
Mothman x Crybaby!Reader
Princess x Dragon
Spider!Hybrid x Reader Who's Afraid of Spiders
Reactiong To Using Their Arm As A pillow
Only Human At A Party
Online Monster Dating
Mermaid x Merman Courting
NSFW
Being Fucked By Aliens
Taking Both Aliens
Bunny Hybrid Painful Heat
Horny vs Protective
Tall Lanky Boyfriend
Luring A Werewolf Into Mating
Has To Bite (Mark) You
Should've Read The Fine Print (Tentacles)
Fake Taxi
Shaky Picture Of His Cock
Lazily Thrusting Tentacles
Big Monsters
His Chains Break During His Rut
Coddling Corporate Worker!Monster
Island Guardian-Tentacles
Incubating Dragon Eggs
Alien Who Loves Your Skin
Intellectual Sex Crazed Beast
Needy!Werewolf!BF
Werewolf BF With A 'Small' Cock
Giant Monster Bride
Monster Husband In Rut
Shy Monster
Tentacle Monster HCs
Alien Mating Agency
Merman Using His Human Mate As A Cocksleeve
Fem!Human!Lab Rat
Omegaverse Test Meets Horny Werewolf BF
Vampire Emperor
Free Use Slut For Monsters
Luring Werewolf Boyfriend Into Commitment
Alien Boyfriend
Love Knots
7 Deadly Sins Demons
Monster BF Carries You Around To Use As A Fleshlight
Arranged Marriage Demon Lord
Arranged Marriage Demon Lord Pt. 2
Tentacle Monster Using You For Breeding
Tentacle Monster Roommate
Fallen Angel
Ghost Public Sex
Putting Monsters In Situations
Snow Tiger Hybrid
Wolf Hybrid x Bunny Hybrid Mate
Rent-A-Monster Krampus
Tiger Hybrid BF
Tiger Hybrid x Deer Hybrid
Dragon Prince
Cinderella!Reader Summoning Demon
Nagas During Winter
Vampire Husband, Werewolf Best Friend
Rare Snow Leopard Hybrid
Yandere Fem!Cow Hybrid!Barista (mildly NSFW)
Needy Cat Hybrid
Monster Strip Club
Fallen Angels
Werewolf Pack Breeding
Dragon BF
Alien Girlfriend (Short)
Pegging Werebunny
Werewolf Taking Your Virginity
Yandere!Angel
Spring Fairy!Boyfriend
Monster Match Event-Tentacled
Tying Down Werewolf Boyfriend
Dragon Husband Doesn't Know Human Anatomy
Velvet Ants
Cat Hybrid!Boyfriend Has Kitten Moments
Naga Lover In Rut
Virgin Monster Roommate
Alien Learning Love
Mimic Monster
Pervy Clingy Tentacle Monster Boyfriend
Monster Fucker Universe Human Fuckers
Dragon Lover
Incubus Husband
Monster Butler
Dragon Hybrid Husband
Weight Limit-Orc
Megaladon Hybrid
Demon Priest
Tentacle House Monster
Incubus Dedicated To Him Human Mate
Shrinking Down To Fern's Size
Tall, beyond mortal comprehension, and handsome? Tentacle Monster
Monster Boyfriend
Merman Pod Mate/Breeding Partner
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Wordtober day 4: Dodge
using the the official inktober prompts
People say opposites attract. People also say best friends should be like two peas in a pod. Maybe starting with what people say isn’t a great idea, because people also tended to say Deanna was a weirdo. And those were the people Isadora ended up punching.
Rubbing the other woman’s back with one hand and the other laid flat on the duvet, Isadora waited. For Deanna to stop shaking slightly, for her hand to grasp back in a sign she was back from the other side, for her eyes to roll back to the front of her skull, whichever came first.
Being an Oracle wasn’t easy. Deanna took it with extreme dignity.
A sharp gasp brought Isadora’s mind back to the present: The hand on the duvet was swiftly squeezed as Deanna grasped for an anchor and the other reached back for the glass of water they’d brought with them when Deanna felt “another one on the way”.
“Hey, it’s Isa. I’m here. You’re home, you’re okay.”
Deanna nodded, eyes still shut and sipping the cold water through the metal straw, the clinking of it against the glass the only sound in the room.
When she spoke, it was a bit hoarse, barely over a whisper. “It’s one of yours again.”
Isadora sighed. Being a Chosen One wasn’t easy either.
It certainly helped that her best friend had an insight on just what she was Chosen for. In the same way it helped Deanna make sense of her visions if she had been present for most of the life of the subject.
Opposites. Peas in a pod. Take your pick.
Once Deanna was back on her feet, she drew aside the curtain on the far wall of her room, revealing a white board full of two very distinct and equally tiny types of handwriting, a couple books worth of post it’s, and the occasional news clipping. The board was used for most prophecies, but only the really important (and unrelated to them) stayed.
“Why is it me again?”
“I do not know! Ask your weirdly big family if they have a tradition of signing fates off to the supernatural!”
“This is what, the third time this year? Fourth?”
Deanna grimaced “Fifth.”
“Fifth??”
“Yea remember that time I changed my mind and we went rock climbing instead of on a beach trip?”
“Yea?” Isadora raised her head from where she’d flopped down on the bed.
“Yea.”
“Ugh! How do you block the Universe’s number?”
“I’ll tell you what, when I find out you’ll be the first to know.” She basically sighed the sentence.
Isadora got up. She didn’t really know how to answer other than slide her arms around Deanna and hold tight. “I’m sorry, Dea.”
“It’s fine, it’s not like you made me an oracle. And it’s not bad when they’re you. It means I can help you.” She tilted her head, lightly headbutting Isa. “Dodging time?”
Isa smiled against her.
“Okay, so! What do you have?”
“I have the sun, moon and rising constellation of your birthdate.”
“Oh so it’s me me.”
“Yeah. I also have…” She trailed off, brow furrowed.
They’d been doing this for years, so Isa knew not to push. Dea didn’t really have prophecies told to her as much as she was shown flashes of scenes culminating in a giant domino effect that was usually saving or ending some part of the world. Not always, though. Sometimes the prophecies were small like “Mr. Forin will be pissed off next Wednesday and deliver a surprise exam” – illustrated ever so helpfully by a family home, a detailed image of an explosion followed by falling drops and a roulette wheel- or “Old lady Ori’s cat will get tangled in spider webs and wander the neighborhood” – and nobody wants the vivid description of an anatomically correct spider-cat hybrid shared over lunch.
“The first daughter of the first daughter of the first daughter.” Dea almost yelled. But her enthusiasm was short lived, “Wait, that’s doesn’t fit you.”
Isa thought for a bit. “Oh that’s low.”
“What?”
“It does fit. My dad’s the oldest kid.”
“Your da- fucking transphobic prophecies!”
Isadora reached into the sides of the board and pulled in her picture and one of her dad to the small open space where they had for figuring out today’s message.
“Wait, we’ve established they don’t care about blood lines right?”
“Yea, there was that one about your witch aunt that turned out to be your mom’s best friend.”
“Does it have a date?”
“What?”
“The thing I will do. Is it dated?”
“I mean, there are definitely early summer vibes to the scene, why?”
“Because!” Isadora reached across the board again, this time picking up a picture of a woman in her forties, the name ‘Allison’ scribbled in blue ink “My dad is marrying my stepmom in three months on the 20th! And she has-”
“She has two kids older than you!!”
“So in summer, I will be the youngest child!!” Isa grinned.
“And the second daughter!” Dea smiled back, raising her hand. “Dodged!”
“Dodged!” Isa high fived her.
That was their thing. Sure, it wasn’t always this easy, especially when the visions weren’t about Isa. But they’d gotten good at figuring out the who and the what, and if it was worth making the effort to dodge. Sometimes they couldn’t. That’s what the news clippings were for. For every catastrophic train accident there was a front page spread on a miraculous save borne of chance. For every post it with scribbled out names when they got it wrong there were small notes thanking one or both of them for suspiciously well timed advice they’d given someone.
Isadora and Deanna had been best friends since the day they’d met. Isa had been there when Dea had her first vision, when the doctors couldn’t find reason for the “seizures”, when they finally realized her vivid dreams would step out into the world and when they stopped the first one. And she’d been sitting on this same duvet the first time Dea had a vision about her. And the second. And the third. And the on average 4.6 times – now 4.8 – she was featured on some big catastrophic event.
The world was still standing. This was their thing.
Many months after Isa’s dad’s wedding (which Dea attended obviously) and after the supposed coming of the vision (Dea tried to not give her details of the action if she had them, or even of the specific day, but she had looked up to Isa one late spring day, and said from where she rested her head on her lap “it would’ve been today” with a small proud smile, before returning to her book) , it happened again.
They were in Isa’s dad’s kitchen. He and Allison had gone out for the weekend and Alex and Charlie were still at work, so Isa had dinner on her hands; which is to say Dea had dinner on her hands and Isa was on cutting veggies duty.
The speed with which Isa put down the knife and caught the bag of noodles off of Dea’s hand would’ve made records. And then she waited.
When Dea came back to herself, she was… different.
They did all the rituals and reassurances and then Dea wouldn’t really look at Isa all of the sudden. Eyes shifty and face flush and the nervous finger tapping was back, that had left around highschool, why was that back?
“So… Is it someone you know?” She tried
“Mhm.”
“Oh that’s nice! Is it one to dodge?”
Silence.
Okayy then. “Do I know who it is?”
“I- yea.”
“Oh cool, is it someone from work? That Jayce fellow in the lobby has biiig Chosen vibes.” Nothing. “Or maybe Tessa? I mean I wouldn’t say I know her since she’s your boss and all but-“
“It’s you!”
“Oh! Why didn’t you say so?”
“It’s- it’s also me… It’s tricky.”
“Ah. Well if it’s anything big, we got it right? I mean unless I have to go out into a tick infested backwoods somewhere to appease some fae anthropologists, that was not a fun month.”
Dea stayed quiet again.
“Dea? You there?”
“Hm?”
“You didn’t say it.”
“Say what?”
“You always say ‘tell me about it’ when I talk about that month, and then you tell me one more ridiculous excuse you came up with for why I wasn’t at uni then.”
“Right, yea. Tell me about it.” Dea’s eyes were unfocused. Far away.
“I’m not leaving.”
That seemed to do something. Dea snapped her head up, looking right at Isa.
“If it’s something like I’m meant to leave you or hate you or hurt you consider it Dodged! I would die before I did that.”
Dea opened her mouth a couple times, but her voice got lost on it’s way out and she closed it again. Isa took her hands in hers. “I know you can’t always tell me but- I’m geeing worried here.”
Dea closed her eyes for a bit. “It’s… You’re meant to… Sit alongside me.”
“Ha! Little late for that, started doing that in 6th grade!”
“No, that’s too literal, you’re… not supposed to leave!”
“Pretty sure we just went over that actually.” Isa chuckled.
Dea shook her head violently. Isa’s easy smile fell, she could see her friend was distressed but to not be able to help-
“Dea, I know it’s hard. But I can’t help if you din’t describe it to me, I need to know what I’m aiming for when i say stuff or I ca-”
“Marriage!” She almost yelled. “The closest definition in the english language is… marriage. And all it entails.”
Oh.
Oh.
Dea still wasn’t looking at her. And that just wouldn’t do, not now! I mean sure it was a tricky situation, it wouldn’t do that Dea was uncomfortable every time Isa was around for the rest of their lives, and Isa was pretty sure step one of a marriage was falling for someone and she had had that one down pat for ages so- wait a minute…
The nervous tapping. The flush. The silence at whether or not she wanted to dodge it. The way she wouldn’t look Isa in the eyes goddamnit.
Isa lifted one hand away from Dea’s own to curl it around her chin and gently turn her gaze back
“Hi.” Still nothing. “I have a question.”
It was silent permission but it was permission nonetheless.
“What would happen if I didn’t want to dodge it? Just this once?”
Turning Dea’s eyes to her was the best decision Isa could’ve made because the way the woman’s eyes widened was just about the most precious view she’d ever experienced.
“But it wouldn’t- It’s not you that wants it, it’s the-”
“Dea, you’ve known me for over ten years. In those you’ve had visions of me a total of 65 times. We dodged 57 of them, and the ones we didn’t were a choice. I think we’ve established the existence of my free will.” Isa smiled at Dea’s barely contained eyeroll, even now, at her head for numbers, “so I am not asking about the grand scheme of things. I’m asking you. What would happen if I didn’t want to dodge it?”
Dea took her time: searching Isa’s face, cataloguing every micro expression she’d grown up with, every millimetre of skin waiting for a catch she knew damn well wasn’t coming. And when she was secure enough, she finally answered, voice tiny and hopeful:
“No dodging.”
And Isa didn’t need prophetic powers to tell her that was the best decision they had ever made. Through that night’s dinner, holding hands under the table, through every kiss where they melted into each other as if it was their first again, through every night for the rest of their lives, from the one where they finally did a real proposal to the one where they exchanged teary eyed vows.
No dodging.
#did i base this off the tumblr meme of Appollo's dodgeball? yes absolutely i did#wordtober#original writing#writers on tumblr#my writing
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[Fanfic] Bedtime Meditation [101 Dalmatian Street]
genre: oneshot, slice-of-life
rating: all ages
content warnings: none
summary:
Deepak helps Dizzy and Dee Dee fall back asleep after a nightmare.
“Deepak! Deepaaaak!” a tiny voice whispered.
“Wake up, wake uuuup!” followed another.
Deepak's eyes slowly fluttered open to see his sisters Dizzy and Dee Dee had crawled up into his hanging pod bed and were looking at him with weepy eyes.
“Sisters?” Deepak mumbled with a yawn. “What's wrong?”
“We can't sleep,” Dizzy replied timidly.
“We had a nightmare,” Dee Dee added.
“There were snakes comin' out of the faucets...” Dizzy recalled, trembling.
“...and giant spiders in the kibble pantry...” Dee Dee continued.
“Can you tell us one of your stories?” pleaded Dizzy.
“The ones with us in 'em?” Dee Dee specified.
“...so we can sleeeeeep?” they begged in unison.
The “stories” the two little Dalmatian sisters were referring to were Deepak's famous guided bedtime meditations. They were always sure-fired to put even the antsiest pups to sleep, and he deeply enjoyed bonding with his siblings through them.
“Alright, alright,” Deepak replied with a sleepy smile. “But first, we should get you back in your own bed, don't you think?”
The two puppy sisters leaped back down into their own cozy little cubby-bed, with Deepak following behind.
“Alright, get comfortable,” Deepak gently instructed as he seated himself in a meditative position.
Dizzy and Dee Dee lay down and cuddled up close to their brother, looking eagerly up at him.
“Now,” he continued in a soft voice. “Let's close our eyes...”
The three pups closed their eyes, as Deepak lay a paw on both of his sisters' heads and began to softly stroke their fur.
“...And take a nice, deep breath...”
The pups all breathed in unison, slowly and deeply.
“Now, let's imagine that we're all sitting on a big, fluffy cloud...” Deepak whispered. “...And each breath we take...makes it slowly float up higher...”
The pups took another breath together. Dizzy and Dee Dee were already beginning to relax a bit as they both calmly smiled.
“We're slowly floating up...” Deepak narrated. “Above the house...above the town...above the twinkling London lights...”
“I can see them,” Dizzy giggled softly as she followed her brother's narration. “I can see the lights...”
“Me too, me too!” Dee Dee whispered happily.
“We slowly rise above the city...into the night sky...” Deepak continued whispering. “...And as we rise above the clouds...we can see a clear, starry sky above us...”
Dizzy and Dee Dee begin to sigh serenely as Deepak's words painted a vivid picture in their heads.
“So pretty...” Dizzy murmured.
“Mmhmm...” Dee Dee affirmed softly.
Deepak continued on. “It's so calm and quiet up here...with the softness of the clouds beneath us...We can just look up into the sky...Until...we...drift...off...to...sleep...”
After whispering that last word, Deepak opened one eye to see his sisters had already fallen fast asleep right up close to him.
Calm smiles spread across their faces as they lay snuggled up to Deepak, dreaming of lounging on clouds in the night sky.
Deepak didn't want to disturb them by getting up, so he decided to just sleep here with them for the night.
He gently removed his paws from his sisters' heads, and gently kissed them both on their foreheads.
“Goodnight, sisters,” he whispered as he curled up close to them and closed his eyes.
“May we all dream peacefully tonight.”
#101 Dalmatian street#Deepak Dalmatian#Dizzy Dalmatian#Dee Dee Dalmatian#fanfiction#disney fanfiction#more saccharine?#more saccharine
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My friends and I started creating cryptids the other night:
Truth squirrels:
They travel in packs as large as 12. The more of them there are surrounding you, the harder it becomes to lie.
Amnesia Eagle:
Any time it spreads its wings to take off, they release a flash of light like the neuralyzer from Men in Black
Owl that turns you inside out if you look it in the eye
Only works one way. No refunds.
Wolf-fi
So, like, picture a wolf. But instead of fur, it has toxic quills like a porcupine that it can launch off when you startle it. But it gives off a really good wi-fi signal to lure in victims.
Big Jim
He’s like a leprechaun. But giant.
Sasquatch, but with a sword and a jetpack
It’s exactly what it sounds like
Spider-wasps
Imagine flying spiders that hunt as a group. They have wasp stingers and can work as a group to make massive webs to ensnare their victims for later
Ditto, but an apex predator
You heard what I said.
Quantum squids
So, the squids wrap their tentacles around each others’ heads, making a ring of squids. Once the ring is complete, they accelerate to relativistic speeds and essentially become a Star Gate. The more squids, the bigger the gate and the farther they can travel together.
The Ultra Kraken
It’s, like, 5 giant squids duct taped together.
Centicrabs
Imagine, like, 100 crabs in a conga line. except it’s not a conga line. It’s just one really long, segmented crab with all of those extra pairs of claws. You can’t out run it. It can see into your soul and read your sins.
The Raging Willow
Okay, so imagine if the Whomping Willow from Harry Potter cross-pollinated with an Ent from Lord of the Rings. But it grows explosive seed pods that look like avocados that it can throw like grenades. And it is out for vengeance against the human race for ignoring global warming.
Bearsquatch
So, like, imagine Sasquatch. But his hands are bear heads.
Man-horse
So, imagine a full sized horse. But what if it could walk on its hind legs like a person. And its hooves were replaced with functional hands and feet. And it carries one of those big swords that people use for decapitating horses.
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The Ten Reasons Tourists Love Red Japanese Flower | Red Japanese Flower
I acquired a baby abridged bulb aftermost year that was labeled Giant Turk’s Cap, so I had a absolute abruptness aback the aboriginal blooms appeared. They dangled beeline bottomward from slim, arching stems with frilly, acutely pinnately-lobed petals. These bristles petals were about 2-1/2 inches continued and coiled aback advancement authoritative a aerial brawl of altered red and chrism color.
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The blooms resemble an oriental lantern or adorned chandelier. I ran to the computer to analyze my new abstruseness plant. The long, columnar stamens archetypal of the Hibiscus ancestors gave me a adumbration of breadth to alpha my search.
Description
My new adorableness was a Hibiscus schizopetalus which is a built-in of close East Africa (Kenya, Tanzania and Mozambique). The brand name, Hibiscus, is old Greek and Latin for mallow, while schizopetalus agency breach petal. It has abounding altered accepted names including belted hibiscus, skeleton hibiscus, Japanese lantern, apricot hibiscus and belted rosemallow.
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Blooms
Flowers are usually ablaze red, rarely pink, but generally streaked. So, my altered flowers of red and chrism were striking. Anniversary anniversary is produced abnormally and dangles on a continued attenuate axis from axis tips. Admitting absolute brittle and aerial looking, anniversary blossom lasts for several canicule and admitting my bulb was small, with alone two absolute branches, there were consistently three to four blooms to admire. They danced cautiously with anniversary affable breath of breeze.
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Growth
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Comparison
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The hibiscus rosa-sinensis (tropical Chinese hibiscus) that comes in a aggregation of cultivars and blush varieties is the added accepted brier we all apperceive with the large, wide-petaled, advancement or apparent adverse anniversary and the continued columnar stamen. Their leaves are beyond and darker blooming in allegory to Chinese lantern as well.
Where best varieties of the hibiscus rosa-sinensis abound into full, close shrubs that can be a chichi distinct case or a careful hedge, the Hibiscus schizopetalus is rather gangling and looks bigger buried amid added plants of agnate size. Alternatively, they can be kept in containers, central or out, if they accept able ablaze and humidity.
Seasonal annual
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Chinese lantern hibiscus is an beloved abiding in close zones 10 and 11. Here in Victoria County’s abstemious breadth 9, it tends to be a concern and is advised a melancholia anniversary and
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50 DND Questions
1. What do you think your d&d race would be? Proabably human. If I get the choice, I’d like to be either an Elf or Dragonborn. I’d be cool with either of those.
2. What class? Mostly likely a fighter? I’m not religious enough for a cleric, and not smart enough for a sorcerer or wizard. I like the idea of being able to throw hands.
3. What two feats would you have? I’d want the Alert feat, and more than likely the Lucky feat. Alert means my initiative gets improved, and Lucky means that I can reroll a bad throw. Those would get used a lot.
4. What has been your favorite d&d character you've played? (NPCs count for DMs) I’ve only got the two for now, but Liander’s been getting the most love. She’s probably my favorite.
5. Which of your d&d characters has been the most like you? Oh, Liander, without a doubt. She’s pretty close to my baseline personality.
6. Which of your d&d characters has been the least like you? And that would be Cade. Cade is just this side of Chaotic Evil, so she’s a little harder for me to get into the right headspace for. Playing her takes a lot out of me, to be honest.
7. How do you go about making a character or NPC? That’s hard to say - I give the session about an hour or so to feel it out, and let the personalities develop naturally over time. My playing style is reactive, so I let the situation dictate how said character would respond.
8. What is the most memorable natural 20 you've ever experienced? That would be with Cade. I’d rolled to take out a stone giant, suplexed them (because she’s a barbarian and her strength stat is wild), then chopped his dick off with my battleaxe like I was swinging a golf club. It uh, made an impression on the rest of the party, and the rest of the enemies.
9. Has one of your d&d characters ever died? How? Not yet, so don’t jinx me! I’m still attached to both of them, and would like to keep them around!
10. What is your favorite class to play? So far, it’s been my ranger. She’s fun, and I’m digging the whole ‘animals as companions’ thing she’s got going.
11. Have you ever fought a dragon? Yes. Between Cade and Paileous, we cut it’s head off. It’s currently a trophy back at home base. Got a lot of gold for our trouble, too.
12. Have you ever fought a beholder? NO. Not entirely sure I wanna, either!
13. Have you ever fought a mind flayer? No, but it’s coming up. My buddy is having us roll new characters for the Underdark campaign. I might try a cleric just for funsies.
14. Have you ever had a romance with an NPC or another PC? Nope. I am here to tell you that neither of my characters is looking for any of that. Liander’s too busy, and Cade is a halfling barbarian surrounded by equally questionable Drow paladins and rouges. No thanks.
15. Do you prefer to DM or play? I have no desire to DM. I’ve only been playing for a little while, and I’m not creative enough to attempt it. I’ll stick to playing. I’m good at that.
16. What is your favorite D&D pod/vodcast? I’ve been listening to Critical Role - I’m relistening to the Whitestone/Chroma Conclave arcs. I love No Mercy Percy so much.
17. Who is your favorite "celebrity dm?" I only know the one - Matt Mercer.
18. Do you use props/minis/terrain in your game? Very rarely. I think we’ve only had like, two sessions that actually had terrain and mini’s.
19. How did you discover D&D? My friends. I sat in on one of their games, and just for the hell of it, they rolled me a character, and thus Cade was born.
20. If you run a homebrew game, give an out of context spoiler. I’m not running it, but smuggling is a thing, and the dude we’re smuggling for is someone whose face is on a wanted poster in my pocket.
21. Drop a picture of a mini you painted (if applicable) Sorry, I don’t have any minis. They’re all with my DM.
22. Write a brief scene centered around one of your characters! Uh, hang on - "That was nice. I didn't ask you to get it for me, and I distinctly remember telling you I can get my own. Not my fault you don't listen worth a damn." Liander says with a slight grin. She doesn't know why, but she likes poking at Chancel. Not many folks react the way he does, and the scowl he sends her just makes her grin wider. "Come on. I cannot possibly be the only one who's pointed that out to you."
"Yeah, me. Two minutes ago." Zulth mutters into his mug.
23. Do you have any art of your characters? Yeah, one of my more artistic friends drew a sketch of Liander for me, complete with her cat on her shoulder. It’s pretty cool. It’s also huge, which is why I’m not posting it here.
24. Have you ever played any TTRPGs other than D&D? No, this is my first foray into TTRPGs.
25. What is your favorite snack for d&d? I reach for Cheetos or Doritos usually. They’re good, crunchy snacks.
26. If you could have one potion from d&d, which one would you choose? If I could just load up on superior healing potions for life, I’d be a happy woman.
27. If you could cast one spell from d&d, which would you cast? Fireball. That’s a nice equalizer, I think.
28. What is the most memorable natural 1 you've experienced? Oh man. That would be with Liander this time. She was trying to sneak into a well fortified part of the city, and tamper with the water supply for one family. Well, I had to roll to hop the fence to do so, rolled a natural one, my foot caught in the fence, and there was a dog right in front of me. Landed on my face, and got bitten for my trouble. Still got the mission done, though.
29. Have you ever been drunk playing d&d? I’ve been buzzed. Does that count?
30. Homebrew or prewritten? Both? Both. Both is good.
31. Tell me about your current party! Which one? Well, for the Alagaesia campaign, there’s my character Liander, a dwarf named Thorin, a rouge(?) named Zulth, an herbalist named Liam, and the man who hired us, an NPC named Bjorn. We’re actually trying to accomplish something with this campaign, or so the DM says.
For the Guardians of Gravenhollow campaign, I’m a halfling barbarian named Cade, there’s a drow Paladin named Varis, and another Drow rouge named Paileous. This particular campaign is just chaotic evil fuckery.
32. Most memorable NPC you've encountered in a game you played in. Victor. He built a clock, I wanted his tinkering kit, and wound up buying both at a just criminally low price. I kinda feel like I ripped him off, tbh.
33. Do you listen to music while playing? What kinds? Mostly the Skyrim soundtrack with a little Witcher soundtrack thrown in for funsies. Atmospheric stuff.
34. Favorite accent to do for characters? I don’t really have one for either of my characters. Mostly because I’m bad at keeping it up. I forget.
35. Favorite classic d&d trope Tragic Backstory(TM). Only one of my characters has it, but it’s damn fun to role-play.
36. What was your first d&d character you made? That would be Cade! She started out as kind of a throw-away, but she got mixed in with Paileous and Varis and she’s living her best chaotic life.
37. What is the most recent PC or NPC you've created? That’d be Kahtri, actually! I haven’t played her a whole bunch, so I’m not really familiar with her yet, but it’ll be interesting to play a Drow cleric who doesn’t actually worship Lolth. (I don’t do spiders.)
38. Goblins or Kobolds? I actually haven’t dealt with either yet. I’m slightly more familiar with Goblins simply because of CritRole.
39. Favorite villain you've defeated? Uh, I dunno if I’d classify her as a villian exactly, but Cade’s killed an NPC named Creed who was a servant to the god Grotz. Pretty sure he’s out for revenge now.
40. What d&d deity would you be a cleric of? I am a cleric of the Drow deity Elistraee. (I had to double check the spelling on that)
41. Give an out of context quote from one of your games! Liander - “I tried to stop him, but he fucking yote me across the room like I wasn’t even there. Is it weird I’m bitter about that?”
Thorin - *emerges from the wreckage of the crate we were smuggling holding dragon eggs* “I FOUND LIVING ROCKS!”
Liander and Zulth in tandem - *knows exactly what he’s holding* “Oh for fuck’s sake!”
42. Have you ever rolled turn into a potted plant on the wild magic table? No, I don’t think I know anyone who plays that particular class, so I’ve never seen it happen.
43. Minis and terrain or theater of the mind? Theater of the mind, good sir/madam.
44. Mulligan, Mercer, Murphy, or McElroy? Mercer! Mercer! Mercer!
45. What is the longest session you've ever had? Oh, jeez. Like, fourteen hours, give or take?
46. What is the longest battle you've fought or run? Uh, that’d be the fight with Creed. It took us like two hours to beat her down with three of us. She was stupid powerful. The bounty was great, though.
47. Have you ever played at level 20? No, my highest level character is a level 11. I’m working on it, though.
48. Does your dm say "How do you want to do this?" Oh yes. The table just blows up when that happens, not gonna lie. It’s fun to hear, especially if it’s aimed at you.
49. Have you ever played an edition other than 5th? No, I started playing last year, so 5th is all I know.
50. Will you try to convince others to play? Already done so. I’ve added a couple people to the group - my husband, whose character is the best straight man to our fuckery, and one of our mutual friends whose lunacy works with our brand of crazy.
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Over 47 Dog Halloween Costumes for 2020: A Guide for Real Dogs and Their People
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Updated September 10, 2020 | Bonding with Your Dog By Colleen Stinchcombe
This post contains affiliate links. Read more here.
Table of Contents
The only thing better than planning your own costume for Halloween is planning your dog’s Halloween costume. A dog dressed as Wonder Woman, Superman, or Batman? Heck yes. Celebrate your love of Star Wars via Yoda dog ears? Absolutely. Seeing your favorite pooch dressed like a minion? The cutest.
If you need a dog Halloween costume idea, we’ve got you covered. However, keep in mind that when shopping for a Halloween costume for your dog, the most important consideration is size. Because dog costumes are not all manufactured in the same way, your pet could be a medium in one costume and a 3X-large in another, so be sure to measure your dog and use your pet’s measurements and the product size chart as a guide to ensure their best fit. Once you have a costume, go slowly and check your dog’s comfort level before, during, and after getting dressed.
[embedded content]
[embedded content]
And for non-costume doggy dress-up ideas, check out Halloween bandanas and collars. Pro tip: Chewy has a very cute Halloween collection right now (like this Halloween pet bandana for eight bucks!)
The Top 4 Dog Halloween Costumes for 2020
Ranked for simplicity, comfort, cool factor, and impact, these are the best-rated Halloween costumes for dogs you can find.
This dog costume is a perennial bestseller. It’s clever, cute, and surprisingly easy to put on. And since UPS drivers have been elevated to frontline workers during the Covid-19 pandemic, this costume is also very on-trend for 2020. The shirt sports sleeves for your dog’s front legs, and then fastens around your dog’s neck with Velcro. It’s pretty low-lift and if your dog tolerates it well, you can add the visor for the full effect.
Shop on Amazon
2. Easiest to Wear: Lion Mane
The lion mane costume looks good on small dogs and big dogs alike, with a special flair on Golden Retrievers, Black Labs, and Rotties. You can get one in gold, black, or brown to match your dog’s coat.
Shop on Amazon
3. Most Adorable: Ewok
What is it about Star Wars costumes? They appeal year after year, and they look great on small dogs like Havanese, Terrier mixes, Brussels Griffons, and more. Note that this popular choice from trusted brand Rubie’s runs small, and is only likely to fit dogs up to 20 or 25 pounds.
Shop on Amazon
With the presidential election just days after Halloween, look no further than this President Trump-inspired outfit for a very topical dog costume for 2020. Designed for smaller pets, it comes complete with a poofy wig and a red necktie that secures around your dog’s neck with Velcro.
Shop on Amazon
Some costumes just look better on big dogs, like this moose headpiece that gets rave reviews. See our handy article on the best big-dog approved Halloween costumes. When shopping for a large dog costume, or designing one, keep in mind that a headpiece adornment or t-shirt outfit is often easier to pull off than a full jumpsuit. PetMD has some good tips for assessing the suitability of a costume for your pet here.
Popular big dog costumes include:
If you’ve got a petite pet, we put together a variety of costumes for small dogs here that range from no-fuss to total showstopper. Many costumes are designed with small dogs in mind, from the Ewoks and pandas to the mermaids and dinosaurs. Because let’s face it—your wee furry friend may already look like a living plush toy!
Like any dog costume, when selecting one for your small pup, make sure to double-check the measurements! If your dog is skittish about animal costumes, you can also opt for a comfy, spooky dog hoodie.
Popular small dog costumes include:
If you’re looking for breed-specific dog Halloween costumes, we’ve got you covered here. And yes, they’re all as cute as this literal “bull dog” Bulldog costume. Consider your breed’s best-known qualities and go from there. Some ideas we love:
Labrador Retriever: Olympic swimmer (just add a doggy life jacket!)
BorderCollie: Einstein
Pug: potato (inspired by the pug-tato meme)
Yorkie: princess
Boxer: Well, a boxer (pro tip: get some miniature gloves)
Pitbull: superhero (Batman or Spider-Man, depending on whether your dog is more of a Marvel or a DC Comics fan)
Goldendoodle or Labradoodle: teddy bear
Pomeranian: Ewok
Husky: rock star (they love to sing!)
Any puppy: cup of coffee
Picture this: Your dog goes as a raptor, and you go as Jeff Goldblum (or Chris Pratt if you like the Jurassic World reboot.) That and even more ideas are featured in our matching human/pet costume article.
Popular dog and human couples’ costumes include:
Bee and flower
Donut and coffee
Chip and salsa
Garth and Wayne
Beauty and the Beast a la Disney
Luke and Yoda (or Leia, or Darth Vader)
Ghostbusters
Batman and Robin
Minnie and Mickey
Dorothy and Toto from the Wizard of Oz
Cat and … dog
If you don’t think your pet will go for a full-on costume, or if you want to celebrate for, like, the entire month of October, these Halloween-themed dog collars are your best bet, and we found the internet’s biggest variety. Chewy and Amazon are both excellent sources for high-quality picks this year.
Want more than a collar but less than a full dog Halloween costume? We have Halloween bandanas in there too.
If you’re crafty, DIY costumes offer endless possibilities. As detailed at that link, you can turn your dog into a pineapple, a pool float, a lion, a cupcake—the list goes on. Popular DIY dog costumes include:
Fruits or veggies
Other animals
Teddy bear
Martini glass (just add the cone of shame)
Winged creatures
Desserts
Get yourself some felt, scissors, and a glue gun, and the sky’s the limit. Giant soy sauce meets sushi, anyone?
And for fun, here are some downright terrible dog costumes …
[embedded content]
[embedded content]
If you belong to a multi-species household, your cat can also get into the Halloween fun! Sure, a cat costume may sound silly, but just wait until you see our test cats sporting all the latest looks. Pro tip: lightweight, easy-to-wear costumes like bat wings are best for kitties.
This costume is so lightweight and easy to put on, our test kitty didn’t even realize it was there.
Shop on Amazon
There’s more where that came from. See our verified reviews for more details and photos on cat costumes for Halloween and beyond.
Dog Halloween Costume Review Video
It can be hard to choose a Halloween costume online. How big are they really? How are you supposed to measure a wiggly puppy or an older dog? Can you trust that your medium dog is really a medium?
Check out these reviews from The Dog People to get a better idea of how these fun dog costumes fit.
Bonus: there are some seriously cute dogs in this video:
[embedded content]
[embedded content]
Tips for Dressing Your Dog Up
Whether you make a costume at home or buy one from a store, there are some things you can do to help your pet have a better time on the 31st. Fido will need some time to get used to that dog dress or hot dog costume!
Get your pet’s costume early. It gives both of you a chance to get used to it before the big day.
Let your pet sniff and show interest in the costume before putting them in it.
Keep treats handy so they see the costume as a good thing. As much as you can, use the treats to guide your pet into the costume—for example, if you’ve got a lion’s mane that goes over their head, guide their head through the hole by enticing them with food, and let them take the treat a few times before fastening it on fully. You don’t want your dog to feel tricked.
Once the costume is on, take frequent breaks. Try not to keep the costume on for more than a few minutes—say 10 or 15—at a time. And keep the treats coming while they’ve got their costume on. (This is also a good time to take a million cute photos and send them our way, please and thank you.)
Next, try taking your pet on a walk while wearing it. Be ready for them to be slower or distracted while they get used to the sounds and feelings of their costume, and of course, treat, treat, treat.
Allow your dog to skip the costume party if they’re not feeling social. A Halloween party can be unnerving for dogs because of the strange outfits on all the new arrivals.
Hopefully, by the time Halloween rolls around, they’ll be comfortable enough in the costume to last the whole night as the witch to your cauldron, the candle to your pumpkin, the pea to your pod.
Dog Halloween Costume Safety
Here a few things to consider when choosing a costume for your pet.
If you’re going to be walking around with your dog, make sure you choose some element of the costume that is highly visible so that your pet can be seen from a distance—you want to make sure they don’t get lost, and also that cars know they’re there. A luminescent collar or a reflective material can be great for this.
Choose breathable material, and make sure the costume isn’t too tight. This will help your pet feel more comfortable and avoid restricted blood flow. Consider how heavy the costume is, as well, since the added weight means your pet has to exert more effort to move. You don’t want to tire your pet out or possibly overheat them.
Avoid small, dangling costume pieces that your pet might chew or choke on. The last thing you want is an emergency Hallow’s Eve vet visit.
Keep your pet’s tags on. It’s not uncommon for pets to get separated from their owners on chaotic days like Halloween, so if your pet bolts, you want to make sure their tags and microchip will help them get home.
All preparation aside, if you realize that your pet hates their costume, they don’t have to wear it! Stress and anxiety aren’t good for pets, and the last thing you want is a grumpy dog zombie on your hands. Happy pets are better than costumed ones any day.
Fun Dog Halloween Treats
Who can resist festive dog treats? Especially when they’re spooktacular like these Banana Coconut Bats. Click for the recipe, or, if you’re more a visual learner, check out our video on how to make Pumpkin Spice Jack O’ Lantern dog cookies.
For more DIY dog Halloween treats, take a look at our collection over here.
Halloween and Dog Anxiety
Halloween can be scary for dogs, and not for the same reasons it is for us humans. Costumes, strangers at the door, unusual noises: There’s a lot going on that will seem suspicious to your dog.
If your dog is prone to anxiety even a little, consider keeping your dog indoors in a cozy, dog-safe zone for the evening, or tap a trusted pet sitter to keep them company. Halloween night could also be a good time to employ anti-anxiety tools for your dog—and there are many available, from hemp oil to pressure wraps. Talk to your vet about these options.
For more tips on how to help your dog navigate Halloween, check out this post from an experienced trainer.
More Dog Halloween Costume Ideas
Colleen Stinchcombe is a professional freelance writer in Seattle, WA. Her two rescue pups wish she were a professional ball-thrower.
sidebar
The Dog People Newsletter
Sign up and get $25 off pet sitting and dog walking!
source http://www.luckydogsolutions.com/over-47-dog-halloween-costumes-for-2020-a-guide-for-real-dogs-and-their-people/ from Lucky Dog Solutions https://luckydogsolutions.blogspot.com/2020/09/over-47-dog-halloween-costumes-for-2020.html
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Text
Over 47 Dog Halloween Costumes for 2020: A Guide for Real Dogs and Their People
<!– Paste this code right after the tag on every page of your site. –>
Our website uses cookies. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our use of cookies. To see what cookies we serve and set your own preferences, please review our Cookie Policy. Learn More.
ShareShare
Updated September 10, 2020 | Bonding with Your Dog By Colleen Stinchcombe
This post contains affiliate links. Read more here.
Table of Contents
The only thing better than planning your own costume for Halloween is planning your dog’s Halloween costume. A dog dressed as Wonder Woman, Superman, or Batman? Heck yes. Celebrate your love of Star Wars via Yoda dog ears? Absolutely. Seeing your favorite pooch dressed like a minion? The cutest.
If you need a dog Halloween costume idea, we’ve got you covered. However, keep in mind that when shopping for a Halloween costume for your dog, the most important consideration is size. Because dog costumes are not all manufactured in the same way, your pet could be a medium in one costume and a 3X-large in another, so be sure to measure your dog and use your pet’s measurements and the product size chart as a guide to ensure their best fit. Once you have a costume, go slowly and check your dog’s comfort level before, during, and after getting dressed.
[embedded content]
[embedded content]
And for non-costume doggy dress-up ideas, check out Halloween bandanas and collars. Pro tip: Chewy has a very cute Halloween collection right now (like this Halloween pet bandana for eight bucks!)
The Top 4 Dog Halloween Costumes for 2020
Ranked for simplicity, comfort, cool factor, and impact, these are the best-rated Halloween costumes for dogs you can find.
This dog costume is a perennial bestseller. It’s clever, cute, and surprisingly easy to put on. And since UPS drivers have been elevated to frontline workers during the Covid-19 pandemic, this costume is also very on-trend for 2020. The shirt sports sleeves for your dog’s front legs, and then fastens around your dog’s neck with Velcro. It’s pretty low-lift and if your dog tolerates it well, you can add the visor for the full effect.
Shop on Amazon
2. Easiest to Wear: Lion Mane
The lion mane costume looks good on small dogs and big dogs alike, with a special flair on Golden Retrievers, Black Labs, and Rotties. You can get one in gold, black, or brown to match your dog’s coat.
Shop on Amazon
3. Most Adorable: Ewok
What is it about Star Wars costumes? They appeal year after year, and they look great on small dogs like Havanese, Terrier mixes, Brussels Griffons, and more. Note that this popular choice from trusted brand Rubie’s runs small, and is only likely to fit dogs up to 20 or 25 pounds.
Shop on Amazon
With the presidential election just days after Halloween, look no further than this President Trump-inspired outfit for a very topical dog costume for 2020. Designed for smaller pets, it comes complete with a poofy wig and a red necktie that secures around your dog’s neck with Velcro.
Shop on Amazon
Some costumes just look better on big dogs, like this moose headpiece that gets rave reviews. See our handy article on the best big-dog approved Halloween costumes. When shopping for a large dog costume, or designing one, keep in mind that a headpiece adornment or t-shirt outfit is often easier to pull off than a full jumpsuit. PetMD has some good tips for assessing the suitability of a costume for your pet here.
Popular big dog costumes include:
If you’ve got a petite pet, we put together a variety of costumes for small dogs here that range from no-fuss to total showstopper. Many costumes are designed with small dogs in mind, from the Ewoks and pandas to the mermaids and dinosaurs. Because let’s face it—your wee furry friend may already look like a living plush toy!
Like any dog costume, when selecting one for your small pup, make sure to double-check the measurements! If your dog is skittish about animal costumes, you can also opt for a comfy, spooky dog hoodie.
Popular small dog costumes include:
If you’re looking for breed-specific dog Halloween costumes, we’ve got you covered here. And yes, they’re all as cute as this literal “bull dog” Bulldog costume. Consider your breed’s best-known qualities and go from there. Some ideas we love:
Labrador Retriever: Olympic swimmer (just add a doggy life jacket!)
BorderCollie: Einstein
Pug: potato (inspired by the pug-tato meme)
Yorkie: princess
Boxer: Well, a boxer (pro tip: get some miniature gloves)
Pitbull: superhero (Batman or Spider-Man, depending on whether your dog is more of a Marvel or a DC Comics fan)
Goldendoodle or Labradoodle: teddy bear
Pomeranian: Ewok
Husky: rock star (they love to sing!)
Any puppy: cup of coffee
Picture this: Your dog goes as a raptor, and you go as Jeff Goldblum (or Chris Pratt if you like the Jurassic World reboot.) That and even more ideas are featured in our matching human/pet costume article.
Popular dog and human couples’ costumes include:
Bee and flower
Donut and coffee
Chip and salsa
Garth and Wayne
Beauty and the Beast a la Disney
Luke and Yoda (or Leia, or Darth Vader)
Ghostbusters
Batman and Robin
Minnie and Mickey
Dorothy and Toto from the Wizard of Oz
Cat and … dog
If you don’t think your pet will go for a full-on costume, or if you want to celebrate for, like, the entire month of October, these Halloween-themed dog collars are your best bet, and we found the internet’s biggest variety. Chewy and Amazon are both excellent sources for high-quality picks this year.
Want more than a collar but less than a full dog Halloween costume? We have Halloween bandanas in there too.
If you’re crafty, DIY costumes offer endless possibilities. As detailed at that link, you can turn your dog into a pineapple, a pool float, a lion, a cupcake—the list goes on. Popular DIY dog costumes include:
Fruits or veggies
Other animals
Teddy bear
Martini glass (just add the cone of shame)
Winged creatures
Desserts
Get yourself some felt, scissors, and a glue gun, and the sky’s the limit. Giant soy sauce meets sushi, anyone?
And for fun, here are some downright terrible dog costumes …
[embedded content]
[embedded content]
If you belong to a multi-species household, your cat can also get into the Halloween fun! Sure, a cat costume may sound silly, but just wait until you see our test cats sporting all the latest looks. Pro tip: lightweight, easy-to-wear costumes like bat wings are best for kitties.
This costume is so lightweight and easy to put on, our test kitty didn’t even realize it was there.
Shop on Amazon
There’s more where that came from. See our verified reviews for more details and photos on cat costumes for Halloween and beyond.
Dog Halloween Costume Review Video
It can be hard to choose a Halloween costume online. How big are they really? How are you supposed to measure a wiggly puppy or an older dog? Can you trust that your medium dog is really a medium?
Check out these reviews from The Dog People to get a better idea of how these fun dog costumes fit.
Bonus: there are some seriously cute dogs in this video:
[embedded content]
[embedded content]
Tips for Dressing Your Dog Up
Whether you make a costume at home or buy one from a store, there are some things you can do to help your pet have a better time on the 31st. Fido will need some time to get used to that dog dress or hot dog costume!
Get your pet’s costume early. It gives both of you a chance to get used to it before the big day.
Let your pet sniff and show interest in the costume before putting them in it.
Keep treats handy so they see the costume as a good thing. As much as you can, use the treats to guide your pet into the costume—for example, if you’ve got a lion’s mane that goes over their head, guide their head through the hole by enticing them with food, and let them take the treat a few times before fastening it on fully. You don’t want your dog to feel tricked.
Once the costume is on, take frequent breaks. Try not to keep the costume on for more than a few minutes—say 10 or 15—at a time. And keep the treats coming while they’ve got their costume on. (This is also a good time to take a million cute photos and send them our way, please and thank you.)
Next, try taking your pet on a walk while wearing it. Be ready for them to be slower or distracted while they get used to the sounds and feelings of their costume, and of course, treat, treat, treat.
Allow your dog to skip the costume party if they’re not feeling social. A Halloween party can be unnerving for dogs because of the strange outfits on all the new arrivals.
Hopefully, by the time Halloween rolls around, they’ll be comfortable enough in the costume to last the whole night as the witch to your cauldron, the candle to your pumpkin, the pea to your pod.
Dog Halloween Costume Safety
Here a few things to consider when choosing a costume for your pet.
If you’re going to be walking around with your dog, make sure you choose some element of the costume that is highly visible so that your pet can be seen from a distance—you want to make sure they don’t get lost, and also that cars know they’re there. A luminescent collar or a reflective material can be great for this.
Choose breathable material, and make sure the costume isn’t too tight. This will help your pet feel more comfortable and avoid restricted blood flow. Consider how heavy the costume is, as well, since the added weight means your pet has to exert more effort to move. You don’t want to tire your pet out or possibly overheat them.
Avoid small, dangling costume pieces that your pet might chew or choke on. The last thing you want is an emergency Hallow’s Eve vet visit.
Keep your pet’s tags on. It’s not uncommon for pets to get separated from their owners on chaotic days like Halloween, so if your pet bolts, you want to make sure their tags and microchip will help them get home.
All preparation aside, if you realize that your pet hates their costume, they don’t have to wear it! Stress and anxiety aren’t good for pets, and the last thing you want is a grumpy dog zombie on your hands. Happy pets are better than costumed ones any day.
Fun Dog Halloween Treats
Who can resist festive dog treats? Especially when they’re spooktacular like these Banana Coconut Bats. Click for the recipe, or, if you’re more a visual learner, check out our video on how to make Pumpkin Spice Jack O’ Lantern dog cookies.
For more DIY dog Halloween treats, take a look at our collection over here.
Halloween and Dog Anxiety
Halloween can be scary for dogs, and not for the same reasons it is for us humans. Costumes, strangers at the door, unusual noises: There’s a lot going on that will seem suspicious to your dog.
If your dog is prone to anxiety even a little, consider keeping your dog indoors in a cozy, dog-safe zone for the evening, or tap a trusted pet sitter to keep them company. Halloween night could also be a good time to employ anti-anxiety tools for your dog—and there are many available, from hemp oil to pressure wraps. Talk to your vet about these options.
For more tips on how to help your dog navigate Halloween, check out this post from an experienced trainer.
More Dog Halloween Costume Ideas
Colleen Stinchcombe is a professional freelance writer in Seattle, WA. Her two rescue pups wish she were a professional ball-thrower.
sidebar
The Dog People Newsletter
Sign up and get $25 off pet sitting and dog walking!
from Lucky Dog Solutions http://www.luckydogsolutions.com/over-47-dog-halloween-costumes-for-2020-a-guide-for-real-dogs-and-their-people/ from Lucky Dog Solutions https://luckydogsolutions.tumblr.com/post/629108324247437312
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Episode 30: Space Spiders And 80s Fashion
In the Asteroid Belt we see a fleet of cargo ships. The captain of one of his mates talk about how they need to deliver everything to Bloody Syndicate. The captain gets angry knowing something could go wrong. A light in the distance rushes forward, revealing to be a giant robot spider. The cargo ships reveal red laser cannons, but they just end up causing weird radiation to bounce off. More of these robot spiders, called Tarantulas, web up the cargo ships at the rear so they can be boarded by space pirates. This is the Tarantula Syndicate, led by the Asteroid Queen, who announces all this via echoing radio. After the episode title we see the J9-3's boosters run out of power just as they leave the replica Jupiter. The engine gets steamy everywhere, Jimmy is unsure if it can be fixed. Some banter ensues as IC notes they are entering the Asteroid Queen's territory. After the bantering DD walks in to give his two cents on things. Basically the Bloody Syndicate destroyed the Tarantula Syndicate four years back and its founder's grandfather became Asteroid Queen, turning the remnants into vengeful pirates. In this flashbacks souzers and eadles can be seen in the massacre. The heroes start getting nervous, IC tells Jimmy to do his best repairing the booster while giving everyone else things to do. Yays are said and the booster is detached for repairs Lots of time passes, we even see a pod vehicle with a pair of claws. Susie screams as JJ-9 spots the corpses of the Bloody Syndicate from the fight earlier. Lock, Birdy, and DD take a white and green space sailboat for scouting, quickly spotting domed cities on asteroids shattered. A Tarantula is spotted and the ship fires a blue laser only for the weird waves to go off and red energy webs from the rear used to capture them. A spin effect on a still is done and a distress signal reaches the J9-3. At J9 Land Bloody God is told by an underling about the Tarantula Syndicate's actions, calmly responding that they should be exterminated along with Double J9. Bloody God is nearly killed by a spider bomb in his wine and his guards start scrambling. Wow he's taking this assassination attempt well. Lock, Birdy, and DD have their space sailboat taken to a shattered domed city on the planet Tarantula.
Eye catch.
Once inside we see the trio unconscious before Asteroid Queen on her throne. The Tarantula Syndicate really likes goggles. They soon wake up surrounded and unarmed. Gotta like how their space suits read J9. Asteroid Queen starts talking to them. DD likes the tilt up shot much to Birdy's disapproval. One of her underlings alerts her to an upcoming assault by the Bloody Syndicate. She goes to a war room where she tells them to have the Tarantulas on standby. The trio are placed in a stone tower jail cell pondering what to do as their only escape is a tiny window high up. Asteroid Queen tells a picture of her grandfather that revenge is soon upon them. Beat and IC show up with two of her guards disarmed, but she laughs them off as she knows they are Double J9. IC wants to know where the others are, she tells them in exchange for staying out of the way. IC points out the Bloody Syndicate is too powerful. At the tower cell IC and Beat can tackled by Lock and Birdy, Asteroid comes in requesting a temporary alliance. The Bloody Syndicate arrives with a large squad of eadles followed by the Tarantula Syndicate destroying their base and leaving JJ-9's mark in neon lights on Tarantula's surface. The eadles pursue J9-3 when Tarantulas show up to fire three laser cannons from their back. The eadles reveal they can fire red energy balls from their wrists, but this helps very little. Lots of explosions happen as J9-3 transforms into Sasuraiger to deal with those that followed them so far out. Eadles get punched out before the missile pods fire on them. The goons start being concern as Asteroid Queen laughs at their demise. So many explosions. Eventually the leader is taken down which brings a smile to Asteroid Queen's face. After the fight the team is glad Bloody Syndicate lost as hard as they did and Birdy hammers Beat and Lock for calling Asteroid Queen pretty. The episode ends with J9- flying toward the sun.
Preview! IC is caught by Aurgan and then strangles him and Birdy is topless.
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Wikipedia PoD: Heteropoda venatoria, Giant crab spider, is a species of spider in the family Sparassidae, the huntsman spiders. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Heteropoda_venatoria-Kadavoor-2017-05-22-001.jpg
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Good Morning Lovely People,
I’ve been gone for some time now, have I not? I hope with this piece I’ll be more regular on the blog and in reading your posts too.
It was written aboard a flight. I took several pictures too of what inspired this piece. Like these –
The pictures aren’t that great but then I’ve never been a great photographer anyway.
This whole post is dedicated to Man’s genius and his handmaiden – Technology. Read on to see why –
I see them stretched out For miles and miles. White, bright, Like ripened pods Of a cotton crop.
Here you may find Salt flats and Dead Seas, Cold, vast deserts And ever changing dunes Of white, poofy silt.
Dark tufts of blinding light, And thunder, ready to explode, While the tame, little ones Herald rains To the greens below.
Plateaus shaped Like an eagle in flight, Or a flying squirrel, if you will. Canyons and hills afloat on Turgid seas of white foam and blue.
Here and there, where they thin out, You see our beloved earth, Its mighty rivers reduced to trickles Its mammoth mountains reduced To mere bumps on the terrain.
And man, the mightiest In brain and industry, Nowhere visible To the naked eye.
Save his creations, His spider-web cities and roads. That resemble a giant’s veins, Snaking their way through every Mountain, plain, plateau and vale.
And yet this far up, Close to the heavens as we know, Wingless man is the only Creature you will find.
To think we fly in a metallic bubble In the realm of clouds, ghosts and angels. That we look ‘down’, like Gods, When we were meant to be looked down upon! Miraculous, is it not?
Please visit The Perfectly Imperfect Bunch Blog where we are covering Tools For Writing this whole week. It’s amazing how technology has aided us in writing and how much easier it has become to write now than it was before when there were no MS Word, no delete options, no typewriters, no printing press. Makes me respect our earliest writers even more!
Copyright ©2017 Pradita Kapahi.
All rights reserved.
Image Source: Pradita Kapahi.
In The Realm of Clouds Good Morning Lovely People, I've been gone for some time now, have I not? I hope with this piece I'll be more regular on the blog and in reading your posts too.
#Aeroplane#Aircraft#Angel#Bubble#Clouds#Earth#Flight#Fly#flying#Ghost#God#Man#Miracle#Plane#Poem#Poetry#Realm#Science#Sky#Technology
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6 Animals That Get High More Than Humanity’s Biggest Stoners
Aww, look at that cute little animal doing human stuff. He thinks he’s people! He’s pushing a little cart, he’s wearing a hat, now he’s buying a speedball off of Scritchy Saul and overdosing in an alley! Yes, animals like to get just as recreationally wasted as us humans do. Sometimes, even more so …
#6. Gorillas Get Drunk As Fuck On Bamboo Wine
Gorillas have every reason to be stressed out. They’re critically endangered, their trees keep getting knocked down, poachers keep trying to shoot them … how do they deal with this day-to-day nightmare? The same way that we would: by getting riggity-riggity-wrecked, son!
“Gimme a double — Flash kicked my ass twice tonight.”
Gorillas in the mountains of Rwanda have discovered a local form of bamboo with naturally alcoholic sap. The locals call it ulanzi, or “bamboo wine.” The gorillas just call it “a damn good time.”
Curious George Takes A Ride On The Night Train
Wildlife photographer Andy Rouse discovered the jungle frat party when he went to Rwanda in search of a Gorillas In The Mist experience. What he found instead, in his own words, were “gorillas who were pissed.” As a result, he managed to take all of these great photographs that the embarrassed gorillas hope you don’t tag them in on Facebook. He’s also the first person in history to catch photographic evidence of gorilla hangovers:
The first step is admitting you have a problem. The second step is not ripping your sponsor’s limbs off.
#5. Dogs In Australia Trip Balls On Toad Sweat
Since the 1930s, Australia’s wildlife has been waging a war of extinction against the cane toad, an animal that Australia deliberately and stupidly introduced to control the beetle population. In a country where every second rock you turn over is actually some kind of fucking rock-snake that can murder your entire family, it’s hard to believe that the king of the food chain is a goddamn toad, but cane toads are so poisonous that they kill anything that eats them, and this is a continent where everything is trying to eat you.
“Giant, snake-eating spiders? I’ll take a pound to go.”
But dogs are taking those cane toads and making cane-toad-ade. It turns out that the chemical cane toads excrete through their skin is a mild hallucinogenic in small quantities, which animals can experience by licking them. Since dogs are uniquely prone to licking everything they see, it’s a foregone conclusion that they would eventually figure out that toads get them high.
Finally, an explanation for why only Snoopy can see the Red Baron.
The drugged dogs run in circles, their pupils dilate, they stare into space, and generally act tripped-out. And, like any human drug, overindulgence can lead to health problems. That’s why Australia has rehab programs to get your dog off their debilitating toad addiction.
Because turn on, tune in, drop out, roll over, play dead is no way to go through life.
#4. Marmots Tear Apart Cars To Get Wasted On Antifreeze
Here’s the yellow-bellied marmot, an animal to which we have unwittingly introduced a debilitating drug addiction that costs us thousands of dollars a year:
And judging by this picture, it ain’t smack.
Antifreeze is straight-up poison to most animals, but it’s a less straight-up poison to the marmots at Sequoia and Yosemite National Parks in California, who have taken to lurking in gangs of four or five underneath cars in parking lots, then chewing through brake lines, radiator hoses, and whatever else needs compromising in order to get at the antifreeze. Up to 40 cars are damaged this way every year.
It’s like a pub crawl full of assholes who showed up five minutes after closing time.
It’s become such a problem that people have taken to fortifying their cars with tarps and chicken wire to discourage the junkie vandals. People have even been known to leave bowls of antifreeze nearby as a more easily accessible option, like some sort of wildlife methadone program.
The woodland version of security bars on a ghetto liquor store.
Marmots have even been known to accidentally hitch a ride and end up being taken out of their specific habitat, outside of which they can’t survive. And there’s nothing sadder than a homeless Marmot in a strange town, sitting at the corner of the off-ramp, his tiny paws resting on a sign reading “Y lie? Need money 4 antifreeze.”
#3. Dolphins Pass Pufferfish Around Like Joints
It’s common knowledge that the pufferfish is incredibly poisonous, but in very small quantities, its poison is a powerful narcotic. Humans have much safer methods of getting high, but dolphins have to take what they can get, and pods of dolphins have been found lightly gnawing on pufferfish for the singular goal of getting adorably smashed.
“What if the universe was one giant can of tuna, inside an even bigger can of tuna?”
This probably isn’t pleasant for the pufferfish, but the dolphins don’t kill it — instead, they pass it around like a joint, sucking on the unfortunate critter just long enough to feel its effects before giving it over to the next aquatic stoner. When all the dolphins are blitzed out of their minds, they simply let the fish go free while they float about in the ocean, much like you float about on that beanbag in the basement. We’re all, like, one species, man.
Maybe if more dolphins passed the puffer on the left-hand side, they’d quit being such raping, murderous assholes all the time.
#2. There Is An Epidemic Of Alcoholic Squirrels
It turns out that squirrels have an alcohol problem. Like, collectively, as a species. They’ve been known to seek out fruit that has been rotting in the sun, probably lured by the pungent aroma, but it doesn’t take much fermented fruit juice to give a squirrel a head rush. As a result, there are several videos on YouTube of drunk squirrels trying to navigate a world that is suddenly spinning around them.
This is especially prevalent after Halloween, when some households take a little too long to deal with all the carved pumpkins lying around, which makes somewhere around Nov. 17 the squirrel equivalent of St. Patrick’s Day.
“Like you humans are ones to talk, with all your pumpkin spice bullshit.”
In July 2015, staff of an English private club came to work to find the place ransacked and the floor drenched in a lake of beer. Initially assuming they had been robbed, they eventually discovered the culprit still inside the building — an extremely intoxicated squirrel who had managed to turn on the beer taps and proceeded to party like a squirrel in a beer lake.
That is its own idiom now.
#1. Bears In Russia Huff Jet Fuel
At some point, somebody in Russia needed to dispose of a whole bunch of barrels of aviation fuel, and they decided that the virtually inaccessible Kronotsky Nature Reserve was their best option. Years later, scientists discovered a curious side effect — local brown bears had learned to open the barrels and were getting high as balls on the fumes.
The bears of the region have become accustomed to huffing fumes from the barrels until they get higher than Sputnik, finishing their binge by digging a ditch in the snow and passing out. And they’ve become so addicted that, according to witnesses, they will gather to ambush landing helicopters and other aircraft, lured by the gasoline like the most hilarious Mad Max sequel possible.
Starring Imperator Furryosa.
Wildlife photographer Igor Shpilenok documented the perpetually stoned bears for seven months, watching as they not only congregated to get high on fuel barrels but obsessively sniffed the ground under landing helicopters for the lingering scent of dripping fuel, like a desperate alcoholic slurping whiskey residue out of an ashtray.
Those pilots better watch it, lest the bear get a hankering for some beer nuts.
Naturally, this is Russia, so we’re not exactly surprised that animals are finding a way to get as drunk as their human compatriots. In fact, in Ukraine, there are even programs designed to detox alcoholic bears. And now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to buy a plane ticket and fulfill a lifelong dream of getting hammered with a bear.
It’s not just a Grindr tagline anymore.
Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/6-animals-that-get-high-more-than-humanitys-biggest-stoners/
from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/07/6-animals-that-get-high-more-than-humanitys-biggest-stoners/
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Text
6 Animals That Get High More Than Humanity’s Biggest Stoners
Aww, look at that cute little animal doing human stuff. He thinks he’s people! He’s pushing a little cart, he’s wearing a hat, now he’s buying a speedball off of Scritchy Saul and overdosing in an alley! Yes, animals like to get just as recreationally wasted as us humans do. Sometimes, even more so …
#6. Gorillas Get Drunk As Fuck On Bamboo Wine
Gorillas have every reason to be stressed out. They’re critically endangered, their trees keep getting knocked down, poachers keep trying to shoot them … how do they deal with this day-to-day nightmare? The same way that we would: by getting riggity-riggity-wrecked, son!
“Gimme a double — Flash kicked my ass twice tonight.”
Gorillas in the mountains of Rwanda have discovered a local form of bamboo with naturally alcoholic sap. The locals call it ulanzi, or “bamboo wine.” The gorillas just call it “a damn good time.”
Curious George Takes A Ride On The Night Train
Wildlife photographer Andy Rouse discovered the jungle frat party when he went to Rwanda in search of a Gorillas In The Mist experience. What he found instead, in his own words, were “gorillas who were pissed.” As a result, he managed to take all of these great photographs that the embarrassed gorillas hope you don’t tag them in on Facebook. He’s also the first person in history to catch photographic evidence of gorilla hangovers:
The first step is admitting you have a problem. The second step is not ripping your sponsor’s limbs off.
#5. Dogs In Australia Trip Balls On Toad Sweat
Since the 1930s, Australia’s wildlife has been waging a war of extinction against the cane toad, an animal that Australia deliberately and stupidly introduced to control the beetle population. In a country where every second rock you turn over is actually some kind of fucking rock-snake that can murder your entire family, it’s hard to believe that the king of the food chain is a goddamn toad, but cane toads are so poisonous that they kill anything that eats them, and this is a continent where everything is trying to eat you.
“Giant, snake-eating spiders? I’ll take a pound to go.”
But dogs are taking those cane toads and making cane-toad-ade. It turns out that the chemical cane toads excrete through their skin is a mild hallucinogenic in small quantities, which animals can experience by licking them. Since dogs are uniquely prone to licking everything they see, it’s a foregone conclusion that they would eventually figure out that toads get them high.
Finally, an explanation for why only Snoopy can see the Red Baron.
The drugged dogs run in circles, their pupils dilate, they stare into space, and generally act tripped-out. And, like any human drug, overindulgence can lead to health problems. That’s why Australia has rehab programs to get your dog off their debilitating toad addiction.
Because turn on, tune in, drop out, roll over, play dead is no way to go through life.
#4. Marmots Tear Apart Cars To Get Wasted On Antifreeze
Here’s the yellow-bellied marmot, an animal to which we have unwittingly introduced a debilitating drug addiction that costs us thousands of dollars a year:
And judging by this picture, it ain’t smack.
Antifreeze is straight-up poison to most animals, but it’s a less straight-up poison to the marmots at Sequoia and Yosemite National Parks in California, who have taken to lurking in gangs of four or five underneath cars in parking lots, then chewing through brake lines, radiator hoses, and whatever else needs compromising in order to get at the antifreeze. Up to 40 cars are damaged this way every year.
It’s like a pub crawl full of assholes who showed up five minutes after closing time.
It’s become such a problem that people have taken to fortifying their cars with tarps and chicken wire to discourage the junkie vandals. People have even been known to leave bowls of antifreeze nearby as a more easily accessible option, like some sort of wildlife methadone program.
The woodland version of security bars on a ghetto liquor store.
Marmots have even been known to accidentally hitch a ride and end up being taken out of their specific habitat, outside of which they can’t survive. And there’s nothing sadder than a homeless Marmot in a strange town, sitting at the corner of the off-ramp, his tiny paws resting on a sign reading “Y lie? Need money 4 antifreeze.”
#3. Dolphins Pass Pufferfish Around Like Joints
It’s common knowledge that the pufferfish is incredibly poisonous, but in very small quantities, its poison is a powerful narcotic. Humans have much safer methods of getting high, but dolphins have to take what they can get, and pods of dolphins have been found lightly gnawing on pufferfish for the singular goal of getting adorably smashed.
“What if the universe was one giant can of tuna, inside an even bigger can of tuna?”
This probably isn’t pleasant for the pufferfish, but the dolphins don’t kill it — instead, they pass it around like a joint, sucking on the unfortunate critter just long enough to feel its effects before giving it over to the next aquatic stoner. When all the dolphins are blitzed out of their minds, they simply let the fish go free while they float about in the ocean, much like you float about on that beanbag in the basement. We’re all, like, one species, man.
Maybe if more dolphins passed the puffer on the left-hand side, they’d quit being such raping, murderous assholes all the time.
#2. There Is An Epidemic Of Alcoholic Squirrels
It turns out that squirrels have an alcohol problem. Like, collectively, as a species. They’ve been known to seek out fruit that has been rotting in the sun, probably lured by the pungent aroma, but it doesn’t take much fermented fruit juice to give a squirrel a head rush. As a result, there are several videos on YouTube of drunk squirrels trying to navigate a world that is suddenly spinning around them.
This is especially prevalent after Halloween, when some households take a little too long to deal with all the carved pumpkins lying around, which makes somewhere around Nov. 17 the squirrel equivalent of St. Patrick’s Day.
“Like you humans are ones to talk, with all your pumpkin spice bullshit.”
In July 2015, staff of an English private club came to work to find the place ransacked and the floor drenched in a lake of beer. Initially assuming they had been robbed, they eventually discovered the culprit still inside the building — an extremely intoxicated squirrel who had managed to turn on the beer taps and proceeded to party like a squirrel in a beer lake.
That is its own idiom now.
#1. Bears In Russia Huff Jet Fuel
At some point, somebody in Russia needed to dispose of a whole bunch of barrels of aviation fuel, and they decided that the virtually inaccessible Kronotsky Nature Reserve was their best option. Years later, scientists discovered a curious side effect — local brown bears had learned to open the barrels and were getting high as balls on the fumes.
The bears of the region have become accustomed to huffing fumes from the barrels until they get higher than Sputnik, finishing their binge by digging a ditch in the snow and passing out. And they’ve become so addicted that, according to witnesses, they will gather to ambush landing helicopters and other aircraft, lured by the gasoline like the most hilarious Mad Max sequel possible.
Starring Imperator Furryosa.
Wildlife photographer Igor Shpilenok documented the perpetually stoned bears for seven months, watching as they not only congregated to get high on fuel barrels but obsessively sniffed the ground under landing helicopters for the lingering scent of dripping fuel, like a desperate alcoholic slurping whiskey residue out of an ashtray.
Those pilots better watch it, lest the bear get a hankering for some beer nuts.
Naturally, this is Russia, so we’re not exactly surprised that animals are finding a way to get as drunk as their human compatriots. In fact, in Ukraine, there are even programs designed to detox alcoholic bears. And now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to buy a plane ticket and fulfill a lifelong dream of getting hammered with a bear.
It’s not just a Grindr tagline anymore.
source http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/6-animals-that-get-high-more-than-humanitys-biggest-stoners/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/07/6-animals-that-get-high-more-than.html
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Text
6 Animals That Get High More Than Humanity’s Biggest Stoners
Aww, look at that cute little animal doing human stuff. He thinks he’s people! He’s pushing a little cart, he’s wearing a hat, now he’s buying a speedball off of Scritchy Saul and overdosing in an alley! Yes, animals like to get just as recreationally wasted as us humans do. Sometimes, even more so …
#6. Gorillas Get Drunk As Fuck On Bamboo Wine
Gorillas have every reason to be stressed out. They’re critically endangered, their trees keep getting knocked down, poachers keep trying to shoot them … how do they deal with this day-to-day nightmare? The same way that we would: by getting riggity-riggity-wrecked, son!
“Gimme a double — Flash kicked my ass twice tonight.”
Gorillas in the mountains of Rwanda have discovered a local form of bamboo with naturally alcoholic sap. The locals call it ulanzi, or “bamboo wine.” The gorillas just call it “a damn good time.”
Curious George Takes A Ride On The Night Train
Wildlife photographer Andy Rouse discovered the jungle frat party when he went to Rwanda in search of a Gorillas In The Mist experience. What he found instead, in his own words, were “gorillas who were pissed.” As a result, he managed to take all of these great photographs that the embarrassed gorillas hope you don’t tag them in on Facebook. He’s also the first person in history to catch photographic evidence of gorilla hangovers:
The first step is admitting you have a problem. The second step is not ripping your sponsor’s limbs off.
#5. Dogs In Australia Trip Balls On Toad Sweat
Since the 1930s, Australia’s wildlife has been waging a war of extinction against the cane toad, an animal that Australia deliberately and stupidly introduced to control the beetle population. In a country where every second rock you turn over is actually some kind of fucking rock-snake that can murder your entire family, it’s hard to believe that the king of the food chain is a goddamn toad, but cane toads are so poisonous that they kill anything that eats them, and this is a continent where everything is trying to eat you.
“Giant, snake-eating spiders? I’ll take a pound to go.”
But dogs are taking those cane toads and making cane-toad-ade. It turns out that the chemical cane toads excrete through their skin is a mild hallucinogenic in small quantities, which animals can experience by licking them. Since dogs are uniquely prone to licking everything they see, it’s a foregone conclusion that they would eventually figure out that toads get them high.
Finally, an explanation for why only Snoopy can see the Red Baron.
The drugged dogs run in circles, their pupils dilate, they stare into space, and generally act tripped-out. And, like any human drug, overindulgence can lead to health problems. That’s why Australia has rehab programs to get your dog off their debilitating toad addiction.
Because turn on, tune in, drop out, roll over, play dead is no way to go through life.
#4. Marmots Tear Apart Cars To Get Wasted On Antifreeze
Here’s the yellow-bellied marmot, an animal to which we have unwittingly introduced a debilitating drug addiction that costs us thousands of dollars a year:
And judging by this picture, it ain’t smack.
Antifreeze is straight-up poison to most animals, but it’s a less straight-up poison to the marmots at Sequoia and Yosemite National Parks in California, who have taken to lurking in gangs of four or five underneath cars in parking lots, then chewing through brake lines, radiator hoses, and whatever else needs compromising in order to get at the antifreeze. Up to 40 cars are damaged this way every year.
It’s like a pub crawl full of assholes who showed up five minutes after closing time.
It’s become such a problem that people have taken to fortifying their cars with tarps and chicken wire to discourage the junkie vandals. People have even been known to leave bowls of antifreeze nearby as a more easily accessible option, like some sort of wildlife methadone program.
The woodland version of security bars on a ghetto liquor store.
Marmots have even been known to accidentally hitch a ride and end up being taken out of their specific habitat, outside of which they can’t survive. And there’s nothing sadder than a homeless Marmot in a strange town, sitting at the corner of the off-ramp, his tiny paws resting on a sign reading “Y lie? Need money 4 antifreeze.”
#3. Dolphins Pass Pufferfish Around Like Joints
It’s common knowledge that the pufferfish is incredibly poisonous, but in very small quantities, its poison is a powerful narcotic. Humans have much safer methods of getting high, but dolphins have to take what they can get, and pods of dolphins have been found lightly gnawing on pufferfish for the singular goal of getting adorably smashed.
“What if the universe was one giant can of tuna, inside an even bigger can of tuna?”
This probably isn’t pleasant for the pufferfish, but the dolphins don’t kill it — instead, they pass it around like a joint, sucking on the unfortunate critter just long enough to feel its effects before giving it over to the next aquatic stoner. When all the dolphins are blitzed out of their minds, they simply let the fish go free while they float about in the ocean, much like you float about on that beanbag in the basement. We’re all, like, one species, man.
Maybe if more dolphins passed the puffer on the left-hand side, they’d quit being such raping, murderous assholes all the time.
#2. There Is An Epidemic Of Alcoholic Squirrels
It turns out that squirrels have an alcohol problem. Like, collectively, as a species. They’ve been known to seek out fruit that has been rotting in the sun, probably lured by the pungent aroma, but it doesn’t take much fermented fruit juice to give a squirrel a head rush. As a result, there are several videos on YouTube of drunk squirrels trying to navigate a world that is suddenly spinning around them.
This is especially prevalent after Halloween, when some households take a little too long to deal with all the carved pumpkins lying around, which makes somewhere around Nov. 17 the squirrel equivalent of St. Patrick’s Day.
“Like you humans are ones to talk, with all your pumpkin spice bullshit.”
In July 2015, staff of an English private club came to work to find the place ransacked and the floor drenched in a lake of beer. Initially assuming they had been robbed, they eventually discovered the culprit still inside the building — an extremely intoxicated squirrel who had managed to turn on the beer taps and proceeded to party like a squirrel in a beer lake.
That is its own idiom now.
#1. Bears In Russia Huff Jet Fuel
At some point, somebody in Russia needed to dispose of a whole bunch of barrels of aviation fuel, and they decided that the virtually inaccessible Kronotsky Nature Reserve was their best option. Years later, scientists discovered a curious side effect — local brown bears had learned to open the barrels and were getting high as balls on the fumes.
The bears of the region have become accustomed to huffing fumes from the barrels until they get higher than Sputnik, finishing their binge by digging a ditch in the snow and passing out. And they’ve become so addicted that, according to witnesses, they will gather to ambush landing helicopters and other aircraft, lured by the gasoline like the most hilarious Mad Max sequel possible.
Starring Imperator Furryosa.
Wildlife photographer Igor Shpilenok documented the perpetually stoned bears for seven months, watching as they not only congregated to get high on fuel barrels but obsessively sniffed the ground under landing helicopters for the lingering scent of dripping fuel, like a desperate alcoholic slurping whiskey residue out of an ashtray.
Those pilots better watch it, lest the bear get a hankering for some beer nuts.
Naturally, this is Russia, so we’re not exactly surprised that animals are finding a way to get as drunk as their human compatriots. In fact, in Ukraine, there are even programs designed to detox alcoholic bears. And now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to buy a plane ticket and fulfill a lifelong dream of getting hammered with a bear.
It’s not just a Grindr tagline anymore.
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/6-animals-that-get-high-more-than-humanitys-biggest-stoners/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/162722934392
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Text
6 Animals That Get High More Than Humanity’s Biggest Stoners
Aww, look at that cute little animal doing human stuff. He thinks he’s people! He’s pushing a little cart, he’s wearing a hat, now he’s buying a speedball off of Scritchy Saul and overdosing in an alley! Yes, animals like to get just as recreationally wasted as us humans do. Sometimes, even more so …
#6. Gorillas Get Drunk As Fuck On Bamboo Wine
Gorillas have every reason to be stressed out. They’re critically endangered, their trees keep getting knocked down, poachers keep trying to shoot them … how do they deal with this day-to-day nightmare? The same way that we would: by getting riggity-riggity-wrecked, son!
“Gimme a double — Flash kicked my ass twice tonight.”
Gorillas in the mountains of Rwanda have discovered a local form of bamboo with naturally alcoholic sap. The locals call it ulanzi, or “bamboo wine.” The gorillas just call it “a damn good time.”
Curious George Takes A Ride On The Night Train
Wildlife photographer Andy Rouse discovered the jungle frat party when he went to Rwanda in search of a Gorillas In The Mist experience. What he found instead, in his own words, were “gorillas who were pissed.” As a result, he managed to take all of these great photographs that the embarrassed gorillas hope you don’t tag them in on Facebook. He’s also the first person in history to catch photographic evidence of gorilla hangovers:
The first step is admitting you have a problem. The second step is not ripping your sponsor’s limbs off.
#5. Dogs In Australia Trip Balls On Toad Sweat
Since the 1930s, Australia’s wildlife has been waging a war of extinction against the cane toad, an animal that Australia deliberately and stupidly introduced to control the beetle population. In a country where every second rock you turn over is actually some kind of fucking rock-snake that can murder your entire family, it’s hard to believe that the king of the food chain is a goddamn toad, but cane toads are so poisonous that they kill anything that eats them, and this is a continent where everything is trying to eat you.
“Giant, snake-eating spiders? I’ll take a pound to go.”
But dogs are taking those cane toads and making cane-toad-ade. It turns out that the chemical cane toads excrete through their skin is a mild hallucinogenic in small quantities, which animals can experience by licking them. Since dogs are uniquely prone to licking everything they see, it’s a foregone conclusion that they would eventually figure out that toads get them high.
Finally, an explanation for why only Snoopy can see the Red Baron.
The drugged dogs run in circles, their pupils dilate, they stare into space, and generally act tripped-out. And, like any human drug, overindulgence can lead to health problems. That’s why Australia has rehab programs to get your dog off their debilitating toad addiction.
Because turn on, tune in, drop out, roll over, play dead is no way to go through life.
#4. Marmots Tear Apart Cars To Get Wasted On Antifreeze
Here’s the yellow-bellied marmot, an animal to which we have unwittingly introduced a debilitating drug addiction that costs us thousands of dollars a year:
And judging by this picture, it ain’t smack.
Antifreeze is straight-up poison to most animals, but it’s a less straight-up poison to the marmots at Sequoia and Yosemite National Parks in California, who have taken to lurking in gangs of four or five underneath cars in parking lots, then chewing through brake lines, radiator hoses, and whatever else needs compromising in order to get at the antifreeze. Up to 40 cars are damaged this way every year.
It’s like a pub crawl full of assholes who showed up five minutes after closing time.
It’s become such a problem that people have taken to fortifying their cars with tarps and chicken wire to discourage the junkie vandals. People have even been known to leave bowls of antifreeze nearby as a more easily accessible option, like some sort of wildlife methadone program.
The woodland version of security bars on a ghetto liquor store.
Marmots have even been known to accidentally hitch a ride and end up being taken out of their specific habitat, outside of which they can’t survive. And there’s nothing sadder than a homeless Marmot in a strange town, sitting at the corner of the off-ramp, his tiny paws resting on a sign reading “Y lie? Need money 4 antifreeze.”
#3. Dolphins Pass Pufferfish Around Like Joints
It’s common knowledge that the pufferfish is incredibly poisonous, but in very small quantities, its poison is a powerful narcotic. Humans have much safer methods of getting high, but dolphins have to take what they can get, and pods of dolphins have been found lightly gnawing on pufferfish for the singular goal of getting adorably smashed.
“What if the universe was one giant can of tuna, inside an even bigger can of tuna?”
This probably isn’t pleasant for the pufferfish, but the dolphins don’t kill it — instead, they pass it around like a joint, sucking on the unfortunate critter just long enough to feel its effects before giving it over to the next aquatic stoner. When all the dolphins are blitzed out of their minds, they simply let the fish go free while they float about in the ocean, much like you float about on that beanbag in the basement. We’re all, like, one species, man.
Maybe if more dolphins passed the puffer on the left-hand side, they’d quit being such raping, murderous assholes all the time.
#2. There Is An Epidemic Of Alcoholic Squirrels
It turns out that squirrels have an alcohol problem. Like, collectively, as a species. They’ve been known to seek out fruit that has been rotting in the sun, probably lured by the pungent aroma, but it doesn’t take much fermented fruit juice to give a squirrel a head rush. As a result, there are several videos on YouTube of drunk squirrels trying to navigate a world that is suddenly spinning around them.
This is especially prevalent after Halloween, when some households take a little too long to deal with all the carved pumpkins lying around, which makes somewhere around Nov. 17 the squirrel equivalent of St. Patrick’s Day.
“Like you humans are ones to talk, with all your pumpkin spice bullshit.”
In July 2015, staff of an English private club came to work to find the place ransacked and the floor drenched in a lake of beer. Initially assuming they had been robbed, they eventually discovered the culprit still inside the building — an extremely intoxicated squirrel who had managed to turn on the beer taps and proceeded to party like a squirrel in a beer lake.
That is its own idiom now.
#1. Bears In Russia Huff Jet Fuel
At some point, somebody in Russia needed to dispose of a whole bunch of barrels of aviation fuel, and they decided that the virtually inaccessible Kronotsky Nature Reserve was their best option. Years later, scientists discovered a curious side effect — local brown bears had learned to open the barrels and were getting high as balls on the fumes.
The bears of the region have become accustomed to huffing fumes from the barrels until they get higher than Sputnik, finishing their binge by digging a ditch in the snow and passing out. And they’ve become so addicted that, according to witnesses, they will gather to ambush landing helicopters and other aircraft, lured by the gasoline like the most hilarious Mad Max sequel possible.
Starring Imperator Furryosa.
Wildlife photographer Igor Shpilenok documented the perpetually stoned bears for seven months, watching as they not only congregated to get high on fuel barrels but obsessively sniffed the ground under landing helicopters for the lingering scent of dripping fuel, like a desperate alcoholic slurping whiskey residue out of an ashtray.
Those pilots better watch it, lest the bear get a hankering for some beer nuts.
Naturally, this is Russia, so we’re not exactly surprised that animals are finding a way to get as drunk as their human compatriots. In fact, in Ukraine, there are even programs designed to detox alcoholic bears. And now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to buy a plane ticket and fulfill a lifelong dream of getting hammered with a bear.
It’s not just a Grindr tagline anymore.
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/6-animals-that-get-high-more-than-humanitys-biggest-stoners/
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