#not only that but !! theres not a lot of dark skinned characters either!!

[nvmbersix]

i really wish genshins body types for playable characters were more diverse. they use the same basic body bases for everyone,, its kind of annoying sometimes. like i want to see varying heights, fat characters, actually Buff characters (sideeyeing itto...).. its such a shame they dont put a little more effort into having actual variety

[dunmeshistash]

in regards to skin tone variation in DM, i do think a lot of it is colorism/racism too. theres a few characters of color, but not many (just like how theres some fatter characters, but none of them are main characters (even senshi & other dwarves arent really depicted as fat)).

ryoko kui has surface representation for these people, but it lacks much substance, and the brown characters she does draw arent given brown facial features, and are almost always colored with very ashy skin. a lot of them just look like a recolored white person (especially cithis, kaka, & kiki). her random portraits of characters who dont actually appear in the series otherwise tend to be much better about this, but the actual characters that show up and play a part all seem to suffer from this issue.

im not saying kui is like, super-duper racist and we all need to stop reading DM etc etc, but i think its important to recognize and point out everyday/usually-overlooked colorism & racism when we see it, and i know im not the first or only person to point this out about her character designs. if she can draw fat people and actual brown people as part of the portraits, why cant she or wont she do the same for any of the featured characters in the series?

(i know the orcs are fat, but its not a good thing the only consistently fat people are the ones who are a fantasy race based off of violent racial stereotypes, who are also pig people, while none of the main cast of "real" humans are fat except *maybe* the dwarves, who still have small waists and flat stomachs, and the lord of the island, who is depicted as corrupt & decadent)

Well yeah.

I'm just a lore blog so I don't like to get too into real life issues or make assumptions about how the author feels about these subjects. What I talked about on the skin tone post was assumptions as to why she thought it would be important to show skin tone variations on certain races as a character design choice. (In the sense that her character design is very purposeful)

I realize some people over praise Kui's designs when most of it is pretty safe for what it is, but even if it's just a step closer to better representation it's something that's rare to see in anime. So I understand why some people get so excited about it.

It is important to realize this isn't the ideal either (Dark skinned characters with the same features as the others, mostly well build characters on the thinner side) but I personally don't like to criticize these type of stories on what it "could/should have been".

As someone who is fat and not white, I'm happy we get some diversity in dungeon meshi. I hope this opens up the possibility of better character design in the future even if what we got now wasn't perfect.

It shouldn't be the case that this piece of art filled me with so much joy I teared up cause I had never seen someone with a similar body to mine drawn with so much respect and objectivity. But unfortunately that's the world we live in and I don't think it's wrong to be happy for what we get for now while acknowledging it's not perfect and that it should be better.

I'm also super happy the anime chose to make the dark characters even darker.

[shi-bxnii]

i will get hate for this likely but TWST HC's/Character Writings that annoy me and/or i feel are OOC

(check below cut) (all dorms/staff) (note: these are my personal opinions, do what you want, these arent for "Hey dont do this >:(" , im literally just saying what i personally feel, GO CRAZY AAA GO STUPID)

❤️Heartslaybul🃏

👑 Riddle HC: He's uptight and doesn't know fun

My take: He can be uptight and arguebly doesn't have fun in the same way others do but its been shown a few times riddle is a bit feral in his own way

♣️ Trey HC: Sweet mama friend whos done no wrong and needs a break

My take: He is a sweet mama friend but he has been shown quite a few times to do some (harmless) underhanded things for his own gain (Starsending Event: Getting a new blender/juicer/whatever it was)

♦️Cater HC: Bubbly guy whos secretly depressed with an internet addiction and THATS IT

My take: though not inherently wrong a lot of ppl dumb down his character to be very vague and two dimensional, Cater is also very alturistic in some cases and has shown to have a variety of skills (maybe not Trey/Ruggie lvl but its still skills)

♥️Ace HC: Mean as hell even in pranks(? this isnt one thats blatantly stated but written on a lot)

My take: Ace CAN be an ass but a lot of the time he will backout or realize his fuck up and make up for it, hes not jus sum ass that ppl talk too, hes a bully in the most loving way possible (lookin at deuce about that one LOL)

♠️Deuce HC: Oblivious dumbass

My take: Now in the context of School or sayings/confusing wording THIS IS VERY TRUE, but ppl make Deuce an all around idiot ive noticed and it annoys me, Deuce is very streets smart both in literal and just like,, hes a dude that knows things, and it annoys me so bad when they jus make Deuce a dumbass

🦁Savanaclaw🌞

🦁Leona HC: Hes heavily self interested

My take: also another that isnt inherently wrong but also is taken way outta context, Leona can and will be self serving but hes also shown to be kind and considerate and willing to help (even if he tries to deflect by saying it wasn't on his mind/not that it was truly within his heart), hes just a more intense Tsundere than Jack

🍩Ruggie HC: Same as leona with heavy self interest

My take: now this is more true then leonas but theres been a few times where ruggies done things for no/little gain, especially when it involves some level of danger, he may still joke about it but hes always pulled through

🐺Jack HC: this is also not a stated HC but ppl seem to forget how territorial/aggressive Jack gets so in writings hes usually just sum laid back guy

My take: Dude has been shown countless times to be headstrong and be aggressive and territorial, maybe not in the Adeuce, Tweel way but he in his own right has been shown to be aggressive (even if playful or more tamed then the formentioned)

🌊Octavinelle🫧

🐙Azul HC: Dark skin (visual HC)

My take: I AGREE AND DISAGREE, ive seen ppl give some characters vitiligo but NEVER to azul, if anything it WOULD be Azul, not only that Vitiligo is an autoimmune disease with factors such as stress, and who stresses more than anyone? AZUL, i usually consider most Visual canon to be just that with very little HC's but if Azul is to be interpreted with dark skin, mf has vitiligo

😈Floyd HC: Older of the twins and a variety of romantic HC's/writings i cant all list

My take: Its been shown in either a viginette or an event (i think an event) that despite being born within the same timing, Jade was actually first before Floyd (Jade makes a joke about keeping him around so im guessing the mf murked all his other siblings eggs djebdjsb ???) // As for romantic HC's writings what annoys me most is that he will usually be interpreted as very loving + his mood swings, i know damn well if Floyd had a gf/bf hes sTILL abiding to himself, now there are some factors that wouldnt keep this true to a default but floyd is floyd

👿Jade HC: He's just as seen in game//no real depth

My take: Its shown during the camp vargas event that Jade is actually extremely excitable and even (according to those around him (i think Cater says it)) that he even shouts in excitement about the natural Oven he was gunna make to cook the fish, Jade is very mannerly and a bit hard to read and its been stated as true, but Jade is also just a fucking nerd as well when you peel back the layers he isnt just that same guy as before

🏜️Scarabia🎆

🎉Kalim HC: Both in HC's and writings a LOT of people drive on the fact of kalims "obliviousness"

My take: NOW THIS ONE MAKES ME THE MOST ANNOYED, Kalim may be happy go lucky and sunshine like, but that motherfucker is AWARE, now you may try and ref Jamil in B4 but- BUT- Jamil is his literal lifelong friend and even if he was blatantly backstabbing at some points Kalim gave him the benefit of doubt, because hes known him all of his life and ik you mfs LYIN if you said you wouldnt for a life long friend... // Also Kalim despite his delivery being happy/sunshine like, Kalim has been shown to have a more feral (similer to Ace) side and even a more snarky side, though rare and playful at most hes not just some 🌞 fr

🐍Jamil HC: Transfem

My take: NOW BEFORE YALL GET MAD, its not the inherit fact that ppl will HC this, do what you want have fun, but i hate that a lot of the reason ppl will HC this, is simply long hair more fem aligned appearance.,,, suddenly men can't have shit,,,, again if you want to i dont really care it just a random irk of mine at most

👑Pomefiore🧪

👑Vil HC: similar to Jamil's and self interest once again

My take: Similar to Jamil, a lot of ppl will HC Vil transf/m due to the fact that within the JP ver, Vil uses a pronoun/self identifier commonly used for/in feminine use, but also for masc use,,, this one is also jus a random irk and i truly do not mind at all but i hate when ppl base of very little things (ik i sound stupid these r jus my opinions LOL)...// Self interest again but Vil's literally in B5 shown to not only not tell anyone but do it on his own whim to post Epel's family product so they can buy out to the point Epel had to give back the crates of Juice his family got him, Vil did that himself, he may be cunt(y) but hes also very considerate

🏹Rook HC: N/A

My take: Surprisingly i see very little HC's of Rook and when i do they make sense to me (Ex: Dark skin and coily/wavy hair, mf was born n raised in Afterglow savanna so even if he has whiter genetics, mf DEFINITELY having darker skin, hes a hunter hes oUTSIDE)

🍏Epel: Transmasc (but for the wrong reasons)

My take: Now of all characters to HC as trans DOES make sense, but also at the same time Epel normally doesnt mind who he is, its only when its used negatively/to mock him or something that he knows ppl will think "less of him" for it,,, this one irks me way less but a lot of ppl will HC/Write epel way more sensitively about himself then he is whether with a trans HC or not, overall though this HC does make the most sense to me

🖥️Ignihyde🎮

💠Idia HC: N/A

My take: Same as Rook, i dont see a lot i dont disagree with or aren't too far from Canon, i will say my fav Idia HC is that hes a complete weeb and has a body pillow of some sort, man wants to be a non normie so bad but fell for the normie weeb traps (body pillow and prolly owns a figurine of the waifu) LOL

🌐Ortho HC: N/A

My take: i dont see a lot of Visual or normal HC's in general for ortho which makes me sad, give my son more swag,,,, i will say i did see a HC that orthos normal body (robo) his shoulders are white boards and people will write stuff on them and that ppl will normally decorate him with stickers :3

❇️Diasomnia⚜️

🐲Malleus: HOO boy theres a lot

My take: way too many to write on this post but i will say that for rom! HC's and writings... MF THIS BITCH GOT NO RIZZ NO SWAGGER, everyone writes or HC's him to be the most romantic mystery dragon prince... brotha this man dont know how to use a phone you think he knows what talkin to a romantic interest + being good at flirting is like?? nuh uh you know damn well that mf askin lillia in near tears what the hell to do

🦇Lillia: Also a lot :(

My take: Doing rom! HC's/Writings again.,,, i feel like in general Lillia would actually avoid personal romances, he wouldn't be like EW ICKY, but considering his past and current responsibilities (Looking after his two sons Mal and Silver and then their cousin Sebek), i think it would be much harder for him to actually be involved in romance

🐊Sebek HC: Also a LOT GAHHH

My take: Now for this one i feel like ppl make Sebek similar to deuce and make him an oblivious dunce, Sebek is smart as hell but he jus doesn't understand customs outside of Fae, hes from Briar valley where most people are fae, and also dont have internet, you cant blame him for being bad at lingo and oblivious to what we would normally know by like age 8../// Also funnily enough i feel like Sebek and Mal get rev for rom HC's (Mal being filled with Swagger while Lillia helps sebek),,, i feel like despite not knowing normal customs,, if Sebek ever pursued someone romantically he would actually not be bad at it, sure a bit lost here n there but i feel like hes got swagger

⚔️Silver HC: That he takes things passively

My take: Silver has been shown to act against others wishes even those with authority (Even more so in B7 but i wont spoil),, Silver often acts as a voice of reason to Sebek as well in those moments but due to Sebeks tunnel vision up until B7, mf wont hear it, and since Silver basically has known Sebek all his life, to see him not press on the matter more in certain aspects is normal, ppl with headstrong siblings know this especially, sometimes you jus gotta be like "okay fine"

🎭Staff👥

In general i feel like a lot of people forget THIS IS AN ENTIRE SCHOOL the game is set in, teachers can take on different classes,,, but theres more teachers than just Vargas, Crewel and Trein, YOU SEE THAT BIG ASS SCHOOL? Theres a least 20 more teachers runnin around that bitch other than the ghosts, but since its a game and not like a series, Obviously they cant jus throw a random teacher every scene

✨Crowley HC: N/A

My take: A lot of HC's are usually just addition to canon or within character so i have no complaints

🐱Trein HC: Also N/A

My take: a lot of HC's for trein r very in character so i honestly dont have any annoyances

🐩Crewel HC: STRICT

My take: as a teacher? yes duh, but as a person? Crewel is definitely cheetah print joint smokin leggings and hello kitty tattoo aunt and classical and fancy wine aunt fusion, soon as mf off the clock hes MESSY in the auntie way

🥇Vargas HC: N/A

My take: now this isnt a HC/Writing but the way EVERYONE CLOWNS VARGAS ATTIRE..... the costumes for crewel n vargas in camp vargas were not bad at all imo, they werent spos to look like runway models or the latest trend that was GOOD costume design for something that was only spos to be VAGUELY seen cuz its DARK

🔮Sam HC: N/A

My take: I rarely see HC's of Sam :(

[sunshinemarauders]

Racist Experiences in the Marauders Fandom

These anonymous submissions come from a survey I published several weeks ago where I asked for fans in the Marauders fandom to share their experiences with me. I was overwhelmed with the results, and this is, in their own words, some of the submissions I was sent.

There has been lost of push back against fans using POC fan casts for various characters

weird reactions to desi james or east asian sirius!!

I have seen people get upset when characters are fancast as non-white actors (like dev Patel for James)

Clash of opinions about fanon Hermione being black

I have seen lots of racism towards people's newer fancasts, as all the OGs (ben barnes, andrew garfield, aaron taylor-johnson, etc.) are white and some people are trying to change that!

I saw a fanart one time, where james had a darker skin (he was latino) and someone commented that it doesn't suit him

I draw Sirius black as Asian and I’ve gotten quite a few racist comments about this and I’ve seen a lot of racism about desi James. Also when BIPOC people cosplay characters that people think are “white”

People tend to cast characters as white, and sometimes I see people getting mad someone is fancasting a non-canonically black character as black or as a person of colour (I've seen some good black Remus, non-white Lily, non-white Peter fancasts, and yet, there is still peope being sooo mad about it like??). Sadly, I think a lot of people can tell about the fact that fancasts are often discussed and hated for no reason when they're not white or whatever, when it's basically just a fancast, that goes against the "canon" a bigot (JKR) made up.

the first that’s coming to mind is people fighting against the interpretation/portrayal of characters as poc (most often james bs i think he’s most popularly hced as desi but also others) either that or just straight up gatekeeping

Only the general feeling that the white characters are more interesting and loved than any of the characters of color. Racebending seems token, like nobody wants to be exclusionary but also don't have the comfort or confidence to make that diversity ring true in terms of cultural resonance. By cultural resonance I don't only mean make them ethnic but to portray and discuss or casually mention the postcolonial personhood or third culture kid experience as applies.

A comment on my fic about making it a “racial jungle”, saying that it wasn’t accurate for the time period even though representation of races otherwise had no significance in the fic

theres is a lot people that will fight tooth and nail for exclusively white maruaders (in terms of fancasts) and they slander other people in the fandom for using more diverse fancasts such as desi james or black evan

I've seen it in passing, especially towards POC writers/people who HC characters who were not diverse in canon.

People not wanting desi Potters in art or otherwise

One Harry Potter fan got mad at me for drawing James (and Harry) dark skinned

GOD THE FRIKIN FANCASTS. They really don't matter that much and everyone makes it such a big deal. To me at least- representation only really matters if its real. If there's fat Peter, darkskin Dorcas, desi James, or Japanese Sirius/Regulus in a fanfic, that is the representation of that. It doesn't need to be reflected in a fancast used in an edit. Personal opinion but annoying as fuck I just wish everyone would enjoy the fact that someone spent time pouring over numerous tiny clips from many different TV shows and movies just for fun, and other people getting mad that they didn't use a person that literally doesn't exist angers me to no end.

mostly just a complete ignorance of POC identities. sometimes poc characters are ignored in favour of white characters. but also, even when POC are centered, i often see like a lot of fetishization and stereotyping and it's just... not good...

there’s a lot of jewish people in the fandom that have pointed out antisemitism within the fandom a few times. i am not jewish, and i cannot speak on the issue, but that’s something i’ve heard a lot. i’ve also seen the whitewashing of fancasts for characters like mary and dorcas who are widely accepted to be women of color, so that feels weird to me, but i think? that’s everything i’ve noticed or heard.

i've seen racism thrown to black creators, poc fancasts, and at myself for being arab and head-cannoning the black brother as arab.

There was a black dude cosplaying remus and their were people saying remus wasnt a N-word but it was a white person saying it

I have seen some fans respond in a racist way to Black fans who have called out the racism in the way in which Black characters are written and portrayed in the fandom.

[faerociousbeast]

genshin leak discussion

dehya (the One barely tan character from all the ones we've had leaked so far) is.. well it's nice that she's slightly darker i GUESS, but thats still really. not anything to get excited over agjcjskgjd our only other vaguely dark skinned rep is kaeya, a Spy from Another Land (great), and xinyan, who is viewed as scary by others and a lot of people dont bother figuring out otherwise. this is not good.

i dont want to assume just from one image but... not only does she seem to be based off an animal, but they really seem to have played into the Feral and Exotic side of it which is? not very fun.

there are other animal characters and other Fierce characters but it does all add up in the end

i mentioned this briefly earlier, but like just looking at the image, the way shes portrayed in comparision to the other light skinned characters.. theres a bit of a problem. if we had more variety in our darker characters, then it wouldnt be as much of an issue if we had some that fell into a few stereotypes, but here we have all these generally "Dainty" and "Kind" looking light skinned people, but then she's all angry looking and animalistic,,? the amount of skin shes showing isnt really my biggest issue either given what game this is but again in addition to everything else. not the best

[peterrparrkerr]

Oviposition - read on ao3

*-*

Tony waits until he's sure everyone is asleep before making his way to the lab. He's not been able to stop thinking about the arachnid since he'd arrived.

It had started out as curiosity -a boy more insect than human, with pitch black eyes and four extra legs sprouting from his spine. He was a character straight out of a comic book.

They were testing him -trying to see how it was he got to be what he is, and in that testing, Tony found things that only drew him in more.

Tony's team found out a lot in the few months they had him. His senses were all dialed to an eleven, so he could hear, smell and see things Tony couldn't. He could feel individual threads in almost every fabric offered to him, and could list every ingredient in his food with complete accuracy.

His eyes -though terrifying and demonic looking when the boy got upset- made him look almost cute when he tilted his head to the side.

Tony swiped his key card and pulled the door open when the little red light switched to green. The lab had an eery blue glow to it when the white florescent lights weren't on.

He makes his way on silent feet across the lab to the cell they had kept the boy in. He couldn't help it. There was no talking himself out of it.

He needed- he needed to see the boy.

They'd discovered something about their arachnid friend that had Tony aching for it. He hadn't herb able to sleep, too busy imagining it. Imagining his gut filled with the eggs the boy apparently carried instead of semen.

He stops at the cell door, peering inside. The ten by ten space is covered in webbing. Spun from the boy himself.

In the top right corner is a tunnel, big enough to crawl through and leading to what Tony can only assume is his nest.

They'd tested the webbing too, and Tony couldn't help but look at the webs in awe.

Tony takes a deep breath, then swipes his card.

There's a click, the red light flickers green, and then Tony's stepping inside. He makes sure to close it behind him, locking them both inside.

There's movement above him. Tony looks up, tracking the sounds as the boy moves from his spot in his webbed nest to the tunnel.

Tony barely makes out the shining eyes at the tunnel's entrance. They reflect the blue light terrifyingly.

"Hello, Peter," Tony greets softly, as to not spook the boy.

There's a second or two where the boy doesn't move, and then two spider legs emerge from the dark, gripping the wall and his webbing. Two more come out next, and then Peter is coming out, crawling across the wall like something out of the exorcist.

Tony had gotten used to it, but at night, it sets Tony's heart rate spiking and the hairs of his arms on end.

When Peter is close enough to the ground, he drops onto his feet. He's wearing nothing but a pair of black basketball shorts -they couldn't get him into anything else.

Peter's extra limbs tuck themselves behind him, nearly making him look like a regular teenager.

"Tony," Peter greets, voice an odd inflection of boy and not-quite-human. It sends a shiver through Tony. His cock twitches in interest.

Tony doesn't know how to start. He just knows he wants. He wants to see his stomach bulge with Peter's seed, and he'll do anything to get it.

"You want something," the boy hummed, head tilted to the side. Perceptive little thing.

"Yes," Tony said, sounding breathless.

Peter straightens his head, peering up at Tony, blinking as he tries to figure it out. "What?"

Tony doesn't know how to say it. Doesn't know if Peter's human enough to realize how inappropriate this is. But Tony can't back down now. If he does, it'll drive him crazy.

So, instead of answering, Tony pulls his tank top off over his head, dropping it with the key card down onto the floor, just outside the cage.

Peter watches silently. Calculating.

Tony hooks his thumbs into the striped pajama pants and drops them to his ankles.

It must be the thing that cues Peter in, because suddenly, the boy is moving for him. Its fast -inhumanly so- and Tony doesn't have any time to react beside gasping.

Bare chests press together, and Peter's arms wrap around Tony, lifting him off the ground as those extra limbs lift them into the air.

Tony suddenly pictures himself in a webbed cocoon, waiting to be Peter's meal. Theres a reason Peter stays behind metal bars, and Tony suddenly wishes he had thought more with his head than his cock.

But then they're on the ceiling -Tony laying on Peter's chest, the boy holding them parallel to the ceiling.

"You want to mate?" Peter asks, looking at Tony with blinking, curious black eyes. Tony's surprised those four limbs have the strength to hold them both up. He refuses to look anywhere but at Peter -even if it is only a ten foot drop, he'd rather not fall.

"Yes," is what Tony says before he can stop himself. Something filters through Peter's features, and just as suddenly as Tony blinks, the boy has him turned over, so his back is pressed into Peter's chest.

Tony's breath hitches, feeling Peter's growing cock between his cheeks already, through the fabric of his shorts.

Peter crawls across the ceiling towards the tunnel, the two of them disappearing inside.

Tony's so hard it hurts. He allows Peter to manhandle him into the position of his choosing.

The webbing -although slightly sticky- is surprisingly soft and pliant to Tony's weight as Peter settles him onto his stomach, crawling over top of him, with two extra legs on either side.

"My mate," Peter hums lowly, nosing at Tony's spine. Tony can't do anything but nod, lifting his ass until its pushing against Peter's clothed crotch.

He gets his knees under him, rubbing himself against Peter, trying to get Peter in motion.

It works. The boy shoves his shorts down and kicks them to the side, adapting arms around Tony's waist and rutting into Tony's crack.

"Mine," Peter murmured against the skin of Tony's shoulder.

"Yours," Tony confirmed on a groan. He needs to be filled. Its almost agony not having Peter buried deep inside him. "Mate me, Peter."

And that's all the direction Peter needs.

Tony's suddenly glad he fucked himself on his fingers before coming here. There's no preparation as Peter presses into Tony.

Tony chokes on a cry as the mushroom head of Peter's cock pops in past his rim. Peter doesn't stop there though, he presses in until he's buried at the hilt.

"Oh God," Tony groaned. Peter keeps both arms around Tony's middle, keeping his hips in the air.

His extra legs allow Peter to hover over him as he begins to thrust in and out of Tony, hips snapping and balls slapping against Tony.

Tony can't help the punched out moans from falling from his mouth. Peter's much bigger than Tony expected, and he can feel everything.

"My mate," Peter gasped lowly, hips pistoning into Tony in a toe curling pace. He fights the urge to let his eyes roll back into his head at the constant pounding of his prostate.

"You want to carry my offspring?" Peter asked, mouth at Tony's ear. "Want to see you so full with them."

Tony groans at the thought and clenches around Peter, driving his own hips back to meet Peter's.

"Yes, God yes, please, fill me up til I'm bursting," Tony nearly begged, neglected cock drooling pre-cum at the thought.

Peter picks up the pace, assaulting Tony's asshole and prostate without mercy.

Tony can't help the onslaught of moans and whimpers and unintelligible mumbles that fall past his lips, chest dropping to the webbed flooring, hips rolling up to allow Peter deeper.

His breath hitches when he feels Peter climax. Its so much different than any orgasm Tony's felt before.

He feels the first egg pass from Peter, then the second. Each significant in size. Tony feels his cock throb painfully at the feeling.

"Yes, fill me up, God please!" Tony sobbed, rocking back onto Peter's cock.

The boy grunts, panting as he thrusts into Tony, emptying himself.

Its not long before Tony begins to feel full, his stomach tight, but not yet extended. He reaches a hand down, palm flat against his abdomen.

"More, keep going," Tony breathed, clenching around Peter, trying desperately to squeeze every last egg from Peter's sack.

"Going to be so full," Peter moaned, more eggs filling Tony up.

Tony feels his orgasm fast approaching as his stomach begins to bulge. Peter keeps going, keeps emptying himself deep inside Tony.

Tony whimpers at the feeling, the hand on his stomach moving to stroke at his cock. It only takes three passes before he's cumming with a reedy mewl, stomach still extending impossibly far.

"Gonna carry my babies," Peter grunted. Tears gather in Tony's eyes at the stretch in his abdomen. He feels ready to burst. It feels so fucking good.

Its almost too much for Tony, the extention of his belly stretching at his skin. It feels like he's being ripped apart from the inside.

And then Peter stills, gasping for breath. Tony chokes on air, trying to even his own breathing.

Peter pulls out, and Tony feels like he's gaping, cool air hitting his exposed asshole and making him shiver.

Peter manhandles Tony onto his back, hovering over him with those extra limbs. Tony can't help but look down at his stomach, raised and rounded with Peter's eggs.

His hands move to it, smoothing over the bump. His cock twitches at the idea.

Peter seems to be thinking the same, because he leans over, nosing at Tony's neck, his own hands pressing into Tony's extended stomach.

"So full," he hums. Tony hums in agreement, removing one hand from his belly in order to grab Peter by the jaw.

He doesn't know if Peter knows what a kiss is, but the need to taste Peter's tongue is too great to wait and explain.

He guides Peter's face up, then connects their lips. Peter's frozen for a moment, not sure. Tony licks inside his mouth, hands still on his belly.

"My mate," Peter repeated between kisses.

"Your mate," Tony agreed.

Tony walks with a hand under the slight bulge of his stomach, back to his room. He clenches to keep the eggs inside -wanting to feel them for as long as he can.

Tony's already set his mind on going back the following night, and every night for as long as he can.

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

Ok ok wait probs not the kinda request you expected but theres this movie called over the moon about a moon goddess losing her one true love and near the end she sees him again for a moment and they sing THE MOST HOPELESS LOVE SONG IVE LISTENED A MILLION TIMES ALREADY AND THEY SING PARTLY IN MANDARIN and im just thinking if the boys saw that with reader would they imagine theirselves in place? Would leo sing it mindlessly forever, would raph desperatley wish? I just gotta know bestie im desperat

Okay I'm definitely watching this movie tonight but for now I'll stick with the clip (bitch u got me crying on main) how am I supposed to maintain my emotionless personality now???

But I'm so hyped to write this now, buckle up my space children, and you might want to grab some tissues~

TMNT Headcanons

The boys reacting to the Yours Forever scene:

Leonardo

This was fine

This was totally fine

Holy shit it was a damn movie, why was it giving him feelings??

He'd been at your place for nearly 3 hours and you'd only started the movie halfway into his visit

You told him it was a kids movie

So why the hell was he getting teary eyed?

The Facade™ has been compromised

Leo didn't speak a lot of mandarin, just a few simple phrases that Splinter had taught him

But you'd clearly seen this movie more than once because he could hear you faintly singing along

Your mandarin was flawless

You didn't notice the way he was looking at you, too enraptured by the movie

His gut was twisting when he looked back at the screen

He knew he'd be humming this for at least a week

Andddd now you were sniffling

Shit shit double shit and then some

Leo awkwardly wrapped an arm around your shoulders, hesitant

You immediately snuggled into his side, pulling your blanket closer to your chin

"I've seen it like seven time and I know they're fictional but it just makes me so fucking sad" you were hiccuping between words

"I can see that, are you okay?"

You furiously rubbed at your eyes

"yeah- just gets me feeling stuff. I'm not a huge fan of that."

This man's eyes were boring into your skull

"I want what they have though, I'd give an arm and a leg for someone to look at me like they look at each other. That's some real shit, y'know?"

Leo stared at the tv screen, rubbing your shoulder, you couldn't see the flushed green of his skin in the dark

"yeah. Yeah I know."

Donatello

You had no idea that Donnie spoke mandarin

It really shouldn't have surprised you though

I mean come on, it's Donnie for fucks sake

He was excited to watch the movie with you, all of the ones in his collection he'd watched 100 times at least

Needless to say he jumped on the opportunity to watch something other than jurassic park

You'd brought your laptop and projector and settled down on the roof of an abandoned building, the same one you both usually stargazed on

You'd seen the movie twice before, this was his first time

So when the 'Yours Forever' scene came on the last thing you were expecting was for Donnie to join in

He had a very nice voice but you never knew he could sing like that

You stared at him in shock

The poor boy stopped the second he realized you were looking, leaving you singing solo

You nudged his shoulder and nodded your head at him, a way of saying "hey, don't leave me hanging here"

Now you were dueting a love song with a turtle on a rooftop

Best Saturday night ever

Donnie couldn't look at you for the rest of the night, not even when he walked you home.

But the expression you left on his face after kissing his cheek and ducking into your apartment made it all worth it

Raphael

Raph wasn't one for emotions

You weren't either

So the both of you did your best not to react during the movie that his brothers had invited you to watch with them

You were sandwiched on the couch between Raph and Mikey, Splinter, Leo, and Donnie sat on the opposite sofa

Splinter didn't miss the longing eyes that his son was giving you

Raph couldn't believe that a damn kids movie was making him feel things about you

You seemed oblivious, completely stone-faced, eyes locked on the screen

Internally you were waging a war against yourself, screaming at your own subconscious not to glance at him

No looking

Don't you fucking dare

That damn duet made you feel shit and you wouldn't be caught dead looking at your friend the way you really wanted to

Especially knowing that Splinter was watching you as well

You definitely felt the turtles eyes on you though

Raph was fighting the same battle with himself

He knew what he wanted to do, but he knew he didn't have the courage to do it

Not with you

Not with his family there

You were just a friend

So why was he looking at you the way the characters had been?

Damned if he knew

It wasn't until the end of the movie that he'd noticed his hand in your lap

You'd wrapped both of your own hands around his and held him there, you honestly didn't remember doing it

And he made no effort to pull away

Michaelangelo

Alright listen

You and Mikey have seen this at least 20 times together

The boy suggested it to you

And now you've both convinced the rest of the boys to watch it with you

So when that scene comes on you both already know the routine

You both start singing

You realize you're both singing

His brothers realize you're both singing

You both stop abruptly

He turns an even darker shade of green

You're screaming at your skin to stop turning red for fucks sake

He wishes that was him

You wish you were her

He's gonna be thinking about this all week

You're gonna make an impromptu phone call to your best friend to rant about it

You guys have done this 20 times now.

How the fuck have you not noticed

The boys opt not to point it out

They've got a bet on how much longer it will last

Donnie's been leading for the past three weeks

He's not losing this shit

I hope I was able to capture what you had in mind dude! I'm also forcing my best friend to watch this movie with me tonight. If you were thinking something different let me know. Other than that I hope you like it as much as I do! 🧡

~Mars 🌠

[inimikal-archive]

🔥

🔥 :  Ok  this  ones  like  probably  a  bit  ‘loaded’  &  I’m  not  sure  I  know  exactly  how  to  articulate  it  but  like ...  The  way  the  rpc  treats  mixed/biracial  folks  &  muses  who  are  “”white  passing””  is  so  contradicting  &  bizarre  to  me ??? 

Examples  being  you  will  have  people  telling  you  as  a  mixed-mun  that  you’re  not  pigmented  enough  to  have  any  kind  of  opinions  on  things  like  racism,  even  when  most  of  us  are  still  effected  it,  which,  okay  there  is  some  things  that  a  white  passing  person  obviously  wouldn’t  experience  to  the  extent  of  someone  who  isn’t,  but  a  lot  of  us  still  do  experience  racism  &  colourism,  etc. 

 &  you’ll  also  have  people  dropping  callouts  on  folks  for  their  PSD  choices  for  white-passing  muses  as  “white-washing”  which  includes  accusations  of  “racism”  when  the  character/fc’s  skin  was  very,  very  light  to  start  with  so  they  can’t  actually  be  “white-washed”  by  using,  say,  a  high-contrast  PSD  that  doesn’t  darken  or  preserve  dark  skin-tones.  If  the  fc/muses  skin  isn’t  dark  enough  to  preserve  via  a  PSD  why  should  we  be  demanded/expected  to  artificially  darken  it  with  a  PSD  rather  than  just  leaving  it  as  is ?   Something  about  that  feels  really  off  to  me,  idk.  Its  like  light  skinned  poc  are  only  poc  when  it  suits  the  interesting  personalities  that  infest  this  site   so  usually  when  we  are  “acknowledged”  as  poc  its  almost  always  to  either  hurt  us  ( as  a  lot  of  ppl  I’ve  seen  called  out  for   this  kind  of  stuff  happen  to  be  light-skinned  poc  themselves )  or  to  hurt  others  &  not  in  anyway  to  validate  our  existences.

Theres  more  examples  of  this  but  no  matter  what  direction  it  comes  from  it  really  just  feels  like  people  in  the  RPC’s  only  interest  in  “white  passing”  people  is  to  weaponize  us  to  suit  their  personal  agendas  &  that  is  uncomfy. 

[ofcowardiceandkings]

UH WHOA not only am i posting art but theres so much of it lmfao

ive been meaning to do this for mmmm a long time, and i decided to get it cleaned up so i can present folks with my homebrew/headcanon/thingy for the d&d playable races !! i know ive missed a few off but these are ones ive seen more of over all in my own travels in Nerd Game lol

ive only DMed one thing so far (our lost mines of phandelver adventure was a total blast but oh boy the shenanigans) but im like ... drowning in it all, have been for a loooonng time since i first played Neverwinter Nights when i was like 11, i just didnt have a party to mess with yet lmao (fingers crossed our schedules get sorted so the campaign goes ahead soooooonnn).. so ive been developing some of these various homebrewy headcanons for uh over half my life

getting them all together in one place like this was unbelievably fun !!

gonna yell under the cut for a bit about it more but very shortly i’ll be opening for d&d character / item / creature commissions so watch this space or pop me a message to get in a queue <3

these headcanon things are half based on “that looks cool” and Sciencing. a lot of the more humanoid in some way races ive really pulled on human ancestors a lot, as well as muscle development in different sports. And Animals, because ye

i haven’t included humans in this mammoth endeavour because we should all know what a Human People looks like, and their proportions aren’t any different in the world of D&D i run at least lol similarly, because they’re an exact intersection between humans & either elves or orcs, the half-species arent included on here either [shrugs] i WILL talk about them some here though !!

i might eventually update this with some npc generators ive made using my own descriptors and headcanons >.>

ELVES av height; 5′6 | heads-high; 8.5 generally long limbed, with fine wispy hair, elves senses are very heightened. helping in this, their eyes are almond-shaped with slightly narrow pupils, their large radar-like ears are very mobile, and the underside of their noses are covered in a lightly damp pitted leather. part of their ability to maintain grace with an elongated frame, aside from longer springy feet, is aided by a tail built somewhat like a horse, with a skirt of hair down its length, only with a slightly longer bone to it than would be seen in the typical pony. excepting a very light dusting on their lower limbs, they typically have very little body hair. sometimes their skin shimmers, or freckles sparkle.

GNOME av height; 3′6 | heads-high; 6.5  gnomes are almost like diminutive elves with a few key differences. their hair tends to be wild if left alone, but is often styled wildly anyway. set rather low on rounded but long faces, their large almond eyes are keen, and small hands very nimble. it’s not sure if its due to their close environments or frequent encounters with accidents in experiments, but their skulls are surprisingly hard, and they possess small horn nubs made of bone and coated in keratin. their small petal-shaped ears are set low and point outward, and are able to move a little to catch sound. they may look fragile due to their size and build but they are pretty hardy and more than capable.

HALFLING av height; 3′ | heads-high; 6 a very hardy but soft and welcoming folk, halflings are built for walking and surviving well, often coming from a semi-nomadic tradition. they typically have round faces with stronger jaws and soft round eyes, and their large ears are pointed upright. their figures easily get a little curved and chubby, especially when they have easy access to decent food, in preparation for harder times and the odd period of hunkering down for some downtime, say in poor weather. truly the most functional part of a halfling is their short powerful legs with big fairly flexible hard feet, and lion-like tail for balance, both insulated by hair.

DWARF av height; 4′3 | heads-high; 6.5 dwarves are accustomed to life in tougher terrain, typically with large parts spent in the ground. their broad frames are also squat down with thick short limbs, for huge power and for life in tunnels. wide feet keep them steady and sensitive to significant seismic energy in the earth, and wide hands aid in their work and the feel of the rock. their large round ears stick outward and are slightly mobile, large noses help condition the air, and high-set eyes with huge irises aid their vision in darker spaces and the ability to peek over things without being fully exposed. their skulls are also very thick just in case of falling rocks. all dwarves are very hairy and grow beards, taking pride in keeping and styling it.

GOLIATH av height; 7′6 | heads-high; 10 a totally different variety of rock & mountain people to dwarves, they do share a few traits. a goliath’s thick limbs are long with a big reach and huge stride, with big hands and feet for steady movement. as well as being hugely tall, they are broad, especially in their shoulders, with a long neck elevating their head further. their facial features tend to be very sharp, but long. they have little to no body hair, and they often dont grow head hair either, but decorate their skulls with tattoos. as they get older, the upper surfaces of their body develop pebble like growths under the skin, often in similar patterns to their habitats.

FIRBOLG av height; 7′6 | heads high; 9 firbolg typically live in deep forests but are actually a giantkin - although not too unbelievable given their huge height and thick build. large parts of their body are hairy, nearly furry, and their head hair is thick and wild, and they often have facial hair too. their large heads have long thick noses with an almost bovine leather to their top lips, and wide set eyes. their fluffy ears are very mobile, but when relaxed they drop and point downward. their nails are thick and sturdy, aiding in being even more dexterous while being so big. sometimes they are covered in layers of clothing, but they possess a tiny goat-like tail.

DRAGONBORN av height; 6′6 | heads-high; 8 dragonborns diverged from true dragons in the ancient past, likely due to a strong magical influence of some kind, but not so long ago that the bloodlines of dragons are absent from the race of dragonborn. (the illustration shows the typical head-shape and placement of ears, each bloodline has its own features). their chest is still very round like an animal, with deep chest muscles, a slightly less mobile shoulder, and short upper arm. their 4 clawed hands and feet somewhat resemble that of a true dragon, but smaller and a little less dangerous. the length of a dragonborn’s tail can vary from just the length from hips to floor, or up to their full height, and as well as being very useful for balance and dexterity, can be used for fighting. different bloodlines can interbreed, with it being a matter of chance which line is present in offspring (although metallic is more dominant over gemstone, and chromatic over both ... (ah yeah gemstone, ill get to that soon))

AARAKOCRA av height; 5′ | heads-high; 8.5 as an avian species, especially one capable of flight, the aarakocra’s bones are hollow, making them on the one hand very agile but a little fragile. their large wingspan nearly brushes the floor, and their wings attach high on their back, through to a deep avian keel. their arms have a long forearm, which is covered in bird-like scutes, and their 4 clawed hands are still remarkably talon like which quite short palms and very mobile thumbs. their legs are very long and powerful, and backed by a typically wedge shaped tail. more often than not, their physical appearance takes after raptor species of birds, but different populations can trend towards many different appearances, including parrots and waterfowl.

TABAXI av height; 6′6 | heads-high; 9 tabaxi are an unusual sight in many places still. their cat-like bodies are very flexible and suited to their athletic climbing lifestyle. their long hands and feet have very a powerful grip, and they can retract their front claws. their long feline face is something like a cheetah or a clouded-leopard, with large highly mobile ears, large eyes and a strong nose. 

ORC

av height; 6′6 | heads-high; 8

orcs are very powerfully build, with heavy muscles and thick bodies overall. compared to other humanoids they can look a little gorilla-like. their short legs are usually a little bent to carry weight better instead of busting knees when locked. their course wiry hair grows profusely all over their body. their strong nails often grow out a little pointed. their large thick heads have high heavy brows and protruding lower jaws, short round noses and low bud-shaped ears which stick outward. the lower jaw and sometimes upper contain tusks, sometimes multiple tusks, which are greatly cared for and very impressive.

HALF-ELVES av height; 5′6 | heads-high; 8.25 a half-elf’s build will be somewhere between human and elf, often inheriting something of an elf’s eyes and nose leather, shorter elf ears, and maybe a small tufted tail something like a rabbits

HALF-ORCS av height; 6′ | heads-high; 8 a half-orc’s build will be somewhere between human and elf, often inheriting something of an orc’s skin colour and dark and profuse wiry hair, shorter orc ears, and some small tusks.

GOBLIN av height; 4′ (stood straight) | heads high; 5.5 bat/cat-like ears, nose something like bear/cat, domed head, arms/legs same length, sparse wiry hair, claws, short digits, lithe but very strong and hardy

HOBGOBLIN av height; 5′3 (stood straight) | heads high; 8 bat/cat-like ears but pinched at the base, nose something like bear/cat, very domed head, arms slightly longer than legs, claws, sparse wiry hair, quite broad

BUGBEAR av height; 7′ (stood straight) | heads high; 7.5 bat-like ears, long domed head something like a lion/bear, arms very long, nearly totally covered in thick fur, big tusks and often fangs, very bear-like hands/feet, big claws, very broad

TRITON av height; 5′2 | heads high; 7.5 lithe but well muscled, quite streamlined for a humanoid, frilled ears, pretty flat face, fins on limbs/back, “hair” is tendrils/fins/etc, short strong legs & long arms, long webbed fingers, long flipper feet, gills along front/side of chest

YUAN-TI PUREBLOOD av height; 5′9 | heads high; 9 domed angular faces, lips are not humanoid, triangular eyes, scales, quite flat nostrils with sense pits following along underside cheekbones, very little cartilage in ear, some may have cobra hoods extending out of ear instead, very tall and thin with small hands/feet, reptilian claws

CENTAUR av height; 7′ | heads high; 10 fairly stocky pony body (usually about 4′10 at withers), very muscled front end, long neck & sloping human-shoulders, long faces with long broad noses, prominent lips, horse-like ears sticking up and out, their whole scalp can grow hair but shaved sides are common, can grow hair nearly all down human-spine

KOBOLD av height; 2′6 | heads high; 5.5 almost alligator-like head & eyes, tiny nub horns, quite animal-like chest, arms/legs same length, thick stubby tail same length of body, 4 digits with stubby claws, lithe but strong for their tiny size

KENKU av height; 4′ | heads high; 5.5 corvid features, deep chest but no keel, longer arms than legs, 4 digits with talons, hands human-like but scaled, wedge-like tail half of leg height, not-quite fully bird feet.

LIZARDFOLK av height; 6′6 | heads high; 7 iguana-like, egg-shaped head, neck wattle, line of back spines varies in height, long arms and legs, very reptilian hands and feet with long claws, elbow spikes

GRUNG av height; 3′ | heads high; 6.5 large heads, neck leads nearly directly into torso, super flexible, very long limbs, triangular body, short upper arm, shorter thigh, large hands/feet, 4 digits

LOXODON av height; 7′6 | heads high; 5.5 large head, trunk as long as torso, short legs / long arms, huge bones under thick muscle, thick skin, 4 digits with thick nails, large hands / rounded cushioned feet, v e r y broad and thick build, small tail with tuft at the end, 

TORTLE av height; 7′6 | heads-high; 7 thick wrinkled skin encased in huge shell, stooping posture with neck extending forward, very long arms & short legs, 5 digits with reptilian claws, boxy head, heart shaped from above with features set far forward, tail to balance stoop

MINOTAUR av height; 7′ | heads-high; 9 powerful build with thick bones, typically well muscled, bovine head on thick neck, often very large horns, fairly long tufted tail, big hooved feet, broad 4 digit hands with thick nails, hair length varies

PLANE THINGS ???

listen this was a lot easier in the edition i first encountered lol anyway, until anything else comes up in extra material im just applying a few square & rectangle venn diagram rules

a useful word; planetouched. i dont really know why WotC seems to have dropped that term for at least 5e (i missed 4e entirely) but it refers to a “mortal native outsider” with lineage or influence from a plane other than the material, so “a material plane native creature with non-native plane influence, which can die”

GENASI height depends on material plane parent the result of a material plane / elemental pair (usually genies). they usually take after their material parent in build and broader features, but their elemental heritage comes through in features like magical hair, bright coloured eyes, unusual body temperatures, innate magics, etc.  genasi can interbreed with themselves, and the crossing of two elements can produce some interesting results (im working on that :>)

TIEFLINGS height depends on material plane parents this is the first of the squares & rectangles, and tbh its basically canonical. a tiefling is the result of a material plane humanoid being born with fiendish* influence. the word ‘tiefling’ refers specifically to a human with fiendish influence, but is also an umbrella term for ALL fiendish planetouched creatures. these DO have some names mentioned in the play material ! fey’ri = elves, tanarukk = orcs, wisplings = halflings, maeluth = dwarves, etc. so all fiendish planetouched are tieflings, but not all tieflings are human-based. the fiendish influence can be dormant for years or just string along for decades. AnyWay, all of them have horns, most have tails, odd skin or eye colour, and others can have all sorts of extraplanar features. *(fiends are another venn diagram thing in D&D, its an umbrella term for both demons and devils) 

AASIMAR height depends on material plane parents aaand this is the second of the squares & rectangles, the not-strictly-canon one. okay duplicate what i said about tieflings, but make it about celestials not fiends, basically lmao. aasimar is an umbrella term, but also a human/celestial planetouched specifically! unlike the above, since its my homebrew concept i dont have other words specifically for other races’ celestial planetouched, but i’ll get there watch this space lol EnyHoo, they all tend to have a strange glow about them in general, but usually in their eyes, and maybe hair especially. it isnt uncommon for them to have a kind of halo around themselves, or glowing glyphs/runes/sigils on or around them either. while MOST dont have full wings, a dusting of feathers isnt unusual. the features of celestials can vary a lot more. for example, unicorns and leonals are actually celestials!

aaand the slightly odd-ball;

WARFORGED height depends on build purpose these are an interesting case, as warforged are actually constructs, brought into this world by the fusing of organic muscle (like wood or leathery material) to an inorganic shell (like stone or metal), imbuing a life-giving fluid of some sort to act like blood, and bringing life to it by a powerful ritual - a unique glyph etched into their heads. as their name suggests they are usually created to become soldiers, or other army positions, although they could be suited to other purposes. unlike most constructs, they are fully self-aware and have a mind on par with humans. they do not need sleep (but require rest) and they also do not naturally reproduce. if they live longer than their purpose, then they are turned loose to deal with the world as they wish. as they are MADE they can vary greatly depending on who made them, and for what exact purpose - although they tend to have beak-like mouths, and 3 digit hands and 2 toed feet.

AV. HEIGHT CHART FROM LEFT TO RIGHT !!! human - elf - dwarf - gnome - halfling - orc - goliath - firbolg - dragonborn - aarakocra - tabaxi - kenku - hobgoblin - bugbear - yuanti - triton - kobold - grung - lizardfolk - tortle - centaur - minotaur - loxodon

oooboy that was a lot of waffle :L

[yandere-flower]

Okay so that last ask got me thinking about what the ocs would be in an old timey victorian-esc drama and I got IDEAS

Desmond: Still a detective, kinda gives off Sherlock Holmes vibes but more dark and brooding (and still a dick) maybe darling hires him to find a missing person or darling is said missing person (cuz ya know drama) either way he becomes obsessed with their case just to get closer to darling. Deals with a lot of dirty cops in the force andis more of a stand alone guy then an actually police officer.

Margo: An underground coroner/medical examiner. Sort of like the Watson to Desmonds Sherlock. Works alongside Desmond sorta like a partner but he only calls her when theres a body that needs to be investigated. Since shes a woman in a older time period she wasnt able to get all of the degrees she wanted to get and she cant even join the police force but Des saw her potential while investigating a couple of underground hospitals one time and from then on kept her under his wing. No romance plot here but they have a mutual respect for eachother. She by far has the coolest office with insect specimens, medical diagrams, tons of books, the works.

Mizu: A young scholar, mostly interested in chemistry and mechanics. Makes all sort of neat inventions but never seems to leave his work space. Looks like a total Tim Burton character, pale skin, daek undereyes, and all. Whenever he needs to go to a university event he tends to stick to the sidelines or closer to his professors. Has somewhat of a special bond with professor Cliff but nothing that he thinks is too serious.

Cliff: Still a professor BUT I can see him having a secret hold in power somewhere. He goes to so many events hes totally rubbing elbows with some powerful figures. Total behind the scenes guy. Sometimes Cliff is able to get Antonios work in public art gallas and events with or without his sons knowledge. He also sees potential in Mizu and has tabs on the young mans accomplishments for future endeavors.

Antonio: Still a starving artist but somehow even more poetic? The guys aesthetic screams Shakespeare and renaissance and you already know this bitch dabbles in poetry. (Kind of gives off Thomas Thorn vibes from the show Ghosts). WILL throw pebbles at your window and seranade you into running away with him.

Ezra: A sweet baker as usual, super polite and cheery BUT to give it a tad bit of a dark twist lets say theres a Sweeney Todd situation going on here. Lets just say this guy is the total embodiment of Ms Lovette. "Oh that man who said those vulgar words to you earlier? Oh you dont worry about him, and dont get the meat pies darling, I dont think itll suit your taste."

Zara: I cant decide if I want her to be from Spain, India or France, BUT main thing is she moved to London and is gonna run this town. She runs an old fashion boutique for men and women and has some of the best quality goods in town. She fought and clawed her way up to the top and is one of the biggest enterpanurs in London. Maybe she has a secret deal with Ezra to help deal with those who stand in her way somewhere where they'll be put to good use.

Sawyer: Oh total old fashion crime rapscallion. For reference watch the show Peaky Blinders cuz I can see him being apart of a gang like that but if know one knows what im talking about, always bruised and beat up but he still has to make sure he looks presentable. Him and Des go head to head a lot, but Des hasnt been able to nail Sawyer for any crimes yet so he has to frustratingly let the punk go with a warning and you know Sawyer always makes cheeky comments before leaving.

Olive: Shes super rich but her family does have money, perhaps a merchant family with some royal ties? Either way shes the prized daughter and is constantly swatting away suitors, waiting for her one and only. Goes to every ball and regal event looking for someone to sweep her off her feet and once she does find her one and only, they arent going anywhere. Total Elizabeth from BLack Butler vibes, bows, frills and all.

(Am I forgetting anybody? I think I got everyone! Sooo what are your thoughts? Id love to hear ideas if you have any!)

This is amazing, thank you for this detailed prompt I absolutely love the descriptions. I also know every single reference that you put in here, amazing.

I can't decide who I like more, Zara whose a total bitch and probably works with Sawyers mob on the side because being a woman in power takes coin and ruthlessness. Or Mizu, who is a slightly unhinged young man always clutching his paperwork and running away from lectures to avoid gross people. And of course, big daddy Cliff whose heavy voice just drips class and power, ugh swoon.

[insomnihan]

han’s Entire Thoughts & Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “BEcause”

WE ARE F UCKING UNDER ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG WHERE DO I START WELL- I SAW A COMMENT SOMEWHERE THAT WAS LIKE ‘THIS HAS GOODNIGHT CREEPINESS WITH RED SUN ESSENCE’ WHOEVER THAT WAS YOUR BRAIN IS GINORMOUS™ AND WRINKLY- IF YOU LISTEN TO IT THE SLIGHT SUMMER VIBE IS TOTALLY THERE YET THE PIANO AND THE HARP (MAYBE I DUNNO BUT WHAT I DOONO IS THAT IT SLAPS) THE PRE CHORUS BUILD UP FAST AS HELL THE DRUMS ARE FAST AS S HIT THE CLOCK IS SO CREEPY THE GUITAR IS JUST ASDFFJGHLHKL;;’ THE DOUBLE TIME DURING DAMIS RAP THAT WAS LITERALLY™ AN ATTEMPT TO TAKE MY LIFE (they were this 👌 close istg) AND THEN THE BRDIGE…………………… SOMEONE TAKE THE WHEEL-

AND THEN THEIR VOICES POWERFUL AS ALWAYS AND THAT F UCKING DISTORTION S HIT DURING ‘FOREVER LOVE AND FOREVER MINE’ IS ACTUAL DR*GS- i dunno what it is but the instrumental being like that and then (to me anyway) theres such a sweet undertone (???) in how they sing and then knowing the lyrics likE I KNOW THEYRE OBSESSED- B O I DO I MISS A FAST DAMI RAP P L E A S E I FEEL LIKE SHES THREATENING ME I LOVE THAT PSYCHO NOISE B ICYJ- THAT BRIDGE IS F UCKING CRAZY SIYEONS AND HANDONGS AND YOOHYEONS GENTLE VOICES AND THEN S U A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUREALLYGOTTACOMEOUTOFTHELEFTGODDAMNFIELDWITHTHATICANTSTANDYOUHOWDAREYOUJUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hello hello for the dance section i will be using THE mcountdown performance yEAH THE ONE POSTED BEFORE THE ACTUAL MV/ALBUM DROP- FIRST OF ALL THE INTRO sorry i have to talk about this theyre so creepy and doll like and jiu is so menacing lIKE WHAT THE F UCK IS THAT (someone answer me what iN THE F CUK did she feed yoohyeon)- NOW ANYWAY I HAVE THINGS TO SAY ABOUT THE ACTUAL DANCE-

OFF THE BAT THE MIRROR INTRODUCTION IS *CHEFS KISS* and then gahyeon choking jiu?????????? LORE????????? IN CHOREOGRAPHY?????????

LISTEN. L I S T E N. ALL OF THEM LIFTING YOOHYEON AT 1:29 LIKE THATS INSANE AND SO FITTING FOR THIS SONG AND VIBE plus yknow………………… handong doing a lot of the lifting………… 👉👈

this specific video doesnt show it during suas verse (which is like Rude™ but fine they show it elsewhere obv) but when shes singing and the rest of them are dropping down slowly………………… yeah-

THE CHORUS EVERY👏SINGLE👏F UCKING👏TIME👏 LIKE THE POSE THEY DO FOR ‘BE’?????????????? THE POWER AND THE GENIUS™ OF IT??????????????????????

DAMI UNHAND ME UNHOLY DEMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the bridge…………… the rocking from side to side…………… whatever the f uck handong and yoohyeon are doing…………… it was almost like sua was controlling everyone right like deadass im scared-

THE DANCE BREAK PLS LET ME BREATHE

the ending with everyone bowing but gahyeon…………

BICTH……………… BICHY- THE VISUALS JUST KEEP LEVELING THE F UCK UP THATS LIT RALLY INSANE I LOVE THAT FOR THEM- the moment that mystery code was revealed and we were getting demented creepy carnival i waS V I B R A T I N G™ WITH EXCITEMENT the creepy scenery of the  dark hotel lobby and the rundown carnival with the merry go round and teacups AND WITH A CULT and the hallway with the mirrors and the lights (like the use of SO much red and green……… the symbolism………) JUST EVERYTHING IS SO F UCKING ABANDONED AND S HIT- THE LITERAL MIRRORING AND DIMENSION S HIT WHAT THE F UCK!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT CREEPY ASS ROOM WHERE THEY KIDNAPPED GAHYEON IN AND SIYEON WAS ACTING ALL TWITCHY OR WHATEVER WHAT WAS THAT-

TIME TO SHOW WHICH SCENES I LIKED

THE WHOLE GODDAMN THI-

(jk ☺️)

OFF THE BAT GAHYEON MAIN CHARACTER I KNOW THATS RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…………………… i just wanted to put this here-

i just wanted to put this here too-

HOW DID YOU EVEN GET HERE

id like to think that the real handong is one getting dragged away and the one standing is the doppelganger (for Plot™ purposes)

W H A T T H E F U C K

I DUNNO WHAT TO SAY OTHER THAN IM SCARED-

G OD WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE THIS PART WAS SO WEIRD WHAT DOES THIS MEAN WHAT DOES IT MEAN

HELLO??????????????????

yeah sure let me take this apple from this broken mirror where another me lies within the walls of this creepy hotel anD EAT IT

W E L P-

………………………………… F-

T H E M

I DUNNO HOW IM BREATHING RN-

JIU

whaT IN THE F UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS SCENE IN THIS SCREENSHOT IS ALREADY A LOT the way she looks seemingly unassuming and harmless in that reception desk that brown and white outfit (is her hair in like………… pigtails???) and then the smile to the instant glare you jusT KNOW youre gonna d*e in that place- MAAAAN BANGS OR NO BANGS SHES STUNNING EITHER WAY AND THATS SO RUDE………… the white dress and those red ACTUAL TALONS will be the d*ath of me

SUA

if i counted correctly she had three (3) different outfits??? outside of the dance ones??? white and red then black and purple then that green and black one??? i think of all of those i really like the red and the green one theres SOMETHING ABOUT THEM i think the green one with the big puffy sleeves more NOT BC ITS MY FAVORITE COLOR I SWEAR the green looks silky and then she also has the thing on the side of her face the pearls in her hair- AND THEN THAT RED ONE with the white sleeves and the frilly collar dude whAT THE F UCK LIKE I KNOW WE SAW IT A LOT BUT I WANNA SEE MORE THO……………

SIYEON

OKAYOKAYOKAY LOOK- THIS OUTFIT IN THIS SCREENSHOT I FEEL LIKE I SHOULDNT LIKE IT YET I DO????????????? two completely different looking patterns that animal print and the strips and then that big ass belt (???) around her waist like this shouldnt be like a GOOD look i dont think……… truly only She™ could make this look work 😔😔😔 i got A LOT A LOT to say about the red and orange plaid crop top and skirt with the different colored clips in her head but the only thought going through my Dumb of Ass Stupid Brain™ iS HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

HANDONG

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY NATURAL BLONDE BELOVED this white dress and the BLACK BOOTS AND THE CHOKER SHE BETTER S TOP- AND DO NOT I REPEAT D O N O T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ON THAT SHORT WHITE DRESS WITH THE WHITE BOOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOEVER STYLED HER YOU DONT CARE ABOUT ME AND THE OTHER HANDONGISTS YET I ALSO LOVE YOU SO MUCH the one with the pink dress dont talk to me dont approach me donT EVEN F UCKING LOOK AT ME IM GOING THROUGH A LOT RN

YOOHYEON

im really Dumb of Ass™ i thought that one pink and (maybe???) super light blue dress had a clock on it- BUT MOVING ON FROM THAT the space buns and whatever those accessories those are and the pink makeup this is sO- then the white dance outfit with those (mesh??? lace??? i just know that its see through-) sleeves and those big ass earrings THAT LOOK AT 2:24 the boots (yeah i gotta mention that first since i just ALWAYS have to mention them) the white blazer all those pearl long ass necklaces and whatever that is on the side of her face why do her visuals HURT SO BAD-

DAMI

bicth…………………………………… B I C T H- WHAT HAS THIS WOMAN BEEN DOING??????!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!??!??!?!?! THIS OUTFIT IS SUCH AN ATTACK I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS ON HER FACE THIS WHOLE LOOK IS SOMETHING ELSE™ her tattoo 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 that bottom part of her hair is kinda clapped tho honestly- the pig tails?????? braids?????? in the dancing part on the black and white tiles IM DOWN YALL IM DOWN SO BAD AND ITS F UCKING RUDE™ THAT WE DONT SEE S HIT OF THAT DRESS AT THE END-

GAHYEON

IM GONNA SAY IT AGAIN LEE👏GAHYEON👏MAIN👏CHARACTER👏I👏KNOW👏THATS👏RIGHT👏👏👏👏👏👏👏!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS RED HAIR IS A BLESSING (especially in that high ponytail i-) SHE IS ATTACKING ME BUT YKNOW WHAT THATS OKAY- im SURE theres a plot significance to her two different dresses the mostly black and the mostly white but my brain can only register WOMAN PRETTY that white one in particular…………… the choker with her hair up and those boots…………… i saw it clear as day and im d wording over it-

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (thoughts and parts i liked)

Intro

i usually expect the intro to be like SUPER HYPE AND INTENSE yknow which it kinda is! however it is consistent that it fits very well and captures the overall vibe of the entire album the calm beginning with the bell like were walking into an establishment and at the halfway point it picks up its intriguing and the ‘i like you’ adds a subtle eeriness that adds just enough to make one wanna continue listening its v good 👌

Airplane

LISTEN……………… LISTEN- this is the VERY LAST genre i expected out of this group YET im not even a little bit shocked that they did this like this cutesy izone-esque summer bop of a song is a DREAMCATCHER™ song……………… YALL- THE AMOUNT OF SEROTONIN THAT ‘AIRPLANE LALALALALALA~~~~~~~’ BRINGS IS SOMETHING SO PERSONAL THIS SECOND GENERATION SUMMERY ASS INSTRUMENTAL WHAT IN THE F UCK- I FEEL LIKE IM RUNNING ON THE BEACH I FEEL THE COLD WIND OF THE WATER BUT THE HEAT OF THE SUN AGAINST MY SKIN AND IM PLAYING WITH A DAMN BEACH BALL WITH A COCONUT DRINK (I F UCKING H*TE LEAVING MY HOUSE) JIU AND DAMI SOUND SO F UCKING PHENOMENAL

Whistle

im pretty firm on believing these b sides represent different times of a summer day and this is the late evening or twilight like not nighttime but CLOSE- i thought i wasnt gonna like the whistling part but that only makes it catchieR THIS SONG IS MAKING ME YEARN AND TRYING TO RECALL LOVELY MEMORIES I DONT EVEN HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then again……………… theres always usually a song on their albums that make me unlock and feel hidden emotions………… THIS SONG GOT ME MISSING A PERSON THAT ISNT REAL this is such a mellow yet so powerful in the way they sing and express each syllable- they all did so good on this song but i gotta mention dami again for her part like oH mY gOoOoOooOoOOOooOD

Alldaylong

JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the way this song was inspired by a hug jiu got from yoohyeon…………… THIS IS NOT A JOKE she said ‘i wanna try city pop’ anD SHE DONE DID IT- i have NO IDEA how this song managed to hold so much joy and light happiness in every word and instrument used in this but im :ccccccc i literally wanna hug someone after listening to this 😔😔😔 this also makes me yearn for something but at least this one isnt unrealistic or unobtainable i dont think! there are some songs out there that make me cry from its lyrics and its sound but THIS ONE the lyrics and just how happy this song is bro reading the lyrics im about to cry for like the fifth time- they who im love so much… :ccccccc doesnt it make you just wanna hug someone and tell them you love them????????? that you appreciate them??????????

해바라기의 마음 (A Heart of Sunflower)

i knew FOR A FACT FOR👏A👏FACT👏 that they were gonna have a ballad for this album bc road to utopia didnt have one i will admit i was one of the 🤡 that thought jiu would be credited on this song 😬😬😬 ANYWAY- AGAIN WITH THE DAMN YEARNING FOR SOMETHING BUT THIS TIME IM F UCKING SAD AS S HIT why must this song be so powerful to make me emotional before i even got to read the lyrics to fully grasp it……………………… now im truly yearning in the Sad™ way and waiting for some imaginary person who i dont even know will even come back…………………… those damn adlibs are pretty as hell it was sua (and i have to mention dami again okay shes really killing it on this she woNT LET ME LIVE-) who got me feeling this the most like yeah…………………… i am a fool…………… im a fool for loving and missing someone who just disappeared from my lifE G O D D A M N IT-

LIKE this is COMPLETELY surprising album BUT IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE as its described it really is a ‘special’ album as while the title track still has their music style and sound theres still an element of summer (a very Terrifying™ summer BUT a ✨Summer✨ album nonetheless) like the b sides are SO different and COMPLETELY caught me off guard when i listened to the highlight medley YET this group of seven amazing and talented women pulled it off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its extremely obvious at this point that their steady and organic growth has grown VERY HIGH this time and (although im still very confused by how everything was released and announced BUT i digress) this different kind of method in performing the song the day before seemed to work?????????? I DUNNO WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE this section could literally be summed to just I LOVE DREAMCATCHER SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

IN CONCLUSION: LISTEN TO THIS ALBUM BECAUSE ITS BOMB AS F UCK

AND AS ALWAYS

[kouhaiofcolor]

2020's finally over. Can we not go into 2021 pacifying texturism w "It's just hair" tho?

It was "just hair" until Black Women started exercising the freedom to discover the unique needs & maintenance beneficial to our hair. Then as soon as non black women got wind of it & the nerve to lurk on platforms the natural hair community was uprising thru, nowadays you've got all these non black women bandwagoning & hashtagging literally everything under the sun w/ this fake ass inclusiveness, advocacy, relatability & support for textured hair. Like all women have suffered oppression around wearing their real hair 😒. Like all races of women have been socially targeted in blatant discriminations against their hair texture, complexion, & how acceptable they are or are not together. I hate the "All Hair (Matters/Is Beautiful/Is 'Good Hair')" clout bc it talks over & totally overwrites the foundational issue around hair & toxic femininity that, at its misogynoir core, has always been that textured hair is unprofessional, unkempt, unmanageable, & ugly. Colorism also erases the initial creators of the movement — which were Monoracial Brown & Dark Skinned Black Women; put some respek onnat, period. Straight hair is not oppressed; wavy hair is not oppressed; all hair is not oppressed. Black hair is. This "all hair is good hair" bullshit is so monotonous & inconsiderate bc its almost like a passive aggressive refusal to acknowledge what antiblackness imposed on Black Women alone. None of you non black know what it's like in depth to be the descendants of a race of ppl who's features, traits & harmless existence have always been insulted, hated & envied by the whole world. Esp not all at once. That is something totally unique to us inflicted & imposed by everyone else since the beginning of time. So why be out here chasing clout under tags & movements & in spaces you are no real part of? Why wanna be a part of the Black Girl Experience that bad? Yall have identities in everything outside of us. Why vulture off of this like you even have reasons to be there? We were investing in ourselves & trying to teach generations of Monoracial Black People how to manage their hair texture & develop cathartic habits thru self care. Nb ppl ruined that.

Looser hair textures have omnipresent representation & acceptance all, over, the, world. There is no lack of being seen, romanticized or exemplified for having texture 1a-3b hair; esp on the prevalent basis around colorism we see regularly on social media & on tv. Yet what remains of the community as it stands is today the furthest thing from textured or Black at all. At this point we owe the decline (if not death) of the natural hair community to the parasitic latching of non black women, the infiltration of "pick me's" & antiblackness generally — but I still be feeling like even that's not direct enough. We're talking ab something authentic & wholesome for Monoracial Black Women created by us for us being straight up sabotaged by races of women the cause was totally irrelevant to & in regard of. Bc that's how cosmetic industries have been towards us for centuries. Bc we were always excluded & thought of least & last. By other women. By all other women; don't get it twisted. So we set out on figuring ourselves out. Doing research on our own. Incorporating self care & beneficial habits in our lives to nourish & feel better ab ourselves & disprove the racist shit non black cultures & ppl either ignorantly surmise, make up or project ab Black Girls. That includes Black Men too in case yall thought yall were safe. Yall are some of the most toxic & prevalent faces behind colorism, antiblackness & misogynoir among black ppl specifically.

But anyhow. At first a lot of the initiation of the vulturing in the nhc light skinned women were the face of. Esp w the clout around having 4c hair amongst the beige-est, most ambiguously or straight up non black individuals, good lord. Then it went mainstream for huwight ppl, whom enevitably invited themselves, & following were the masses of non black women looking to pillage for themselves while the community was being swallowed by the crowdedness & irrelevant content being put out there (specifically on YouTube, Twitter & Instagram) by "hair gurus" of the light skinned, biracial or non black texture 1a-3b variety. Hair gurus who literally may as well've fallen from the sky & met social media stardom overnight based on their hair texture & complexion alone they're so brand new. Hair gurus who aren't even in the community for legitimately informative reasons or purposes unionized in Blackness. They're whole natural hair niche be — as a favorite natural of mine put it — manipulating textured hair into a sort of submission to appear or behave like looser textures do. They'll swear by 'game changer' products they both mention & only use like once & insist you should invest in a $30 8oz. bottle of clarifying shampoo or a $35 cowash if you want your hair to behave & look like theirs. Again, mind you, these types of individuals casually claim having texture 4 hair when they're anything but, just for the attention it brings from both ppl who will gullibly follow their every word & who know what kind of scamming to look for & won't.

If it's "just hair", how come so many of you that are non black are riding the wave? If it's just hair, why have so many of you found refuge in using the hashtags & participating/contributing uninvited? How come so many ran to get a seat at the table w Black Women only to kick them to the side the more popular it became if its just hair? How come nobody was calling it natural hair before Black Women created the nhc & started growing their own? Why was there no natural hair community before Black Women coined it, reminder, for ourselves? If it's just hair, how come so many ran to youtube to begin w to start channels for their own non-textured journeys? If its just hair, why is the nhc so damn obsessed w defining curls & length than overall health & gradual growth? If its just hair, why are white girls anywhere near this? Yall are the most out of place of anyone, honestly. Even if you're curly. Why do light skinned girls get to both represent textured hair & "good hair"? How does that even make sense? Thats just putting monoracial black girls in isolated boxes they're not even allowed to be symbols of or in. If its just hair, why's it so unheard of to see the roles of Black female characters in just ab anything played by actual Black Women? If its just hair, why have so many non or partially Black women worked in ignorant succession to water down & essentially wash out the Monoracial Black Women vital to the community's relevance at all? I really do not get the involvement of non black women in this movement at all — esp when culturally you have no reason to call your hair natural. There are no & have never been prejudice notions around having or growing texture 1a-3b hair. There's nothing oppressive ab it, either. Yall have gotta stop w that. You've already made a mockery of something that was supposed to be beautiful by making yourselves comfortable in & hijacking our space itfp. Theres far too much misrepresentation of textured hair to keep up w now. This is why i say the nhc (as well as culture vulturing generally) has just become nbwoc copying white women copying light skinned women copying Black Women, bc the audacity is unreal.

Its not just hair tho. To those it applies to, yall proved that the minute Black Women started going public w their growth journeys. The minute conversations ab "shrinkage this & 4c that" broadened & went mainstream. Yall couldn't move all at once fast enough when you realized you weren't as special as you thought & had always been told — esp w melanin at its modern value. Now all yall either "natural", seeking black men for either casual sex or cultural infiltration via fetishised reproduction, certain you have texture 4 hair or know the best tips for a DIY silk press 🤭😂 yall can't sit w us. You don't belong here. I'm calling yall out on allll the bs around this "All Hair Matters" garbage, cus yall are now sputtering the same shit while literally wearing your own non black hair in black styles. Be consistent. Make some fucking sense. I don't wanna be part of this fake ass girl squad propaganda that says every other woman never looked at Black Women's hair like it was bottomest of the barrel, foh. We're not on the same team & yall know it.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Trophy Chapter Eight

Masterlist

You become confused and start to question your feelings whilst Henry tries to be romantic but Stephan manages to fuck things up.

Warnings: Obsessive Behaviour, Implied Smut, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Torture, Dark themes, Yandere, Swearing, Daddy kink, Spanking threats, Angst?, Violence, Dark fluff(even I don't bloody know)

A/n: its quater past 11....I should be sleeping...my cat is littarily meowing at me to got to sleep but im not so here have chapter eight!!! so this chapter is mostly plot no smut unfortunately but the next one will be 1000٪. I have finally finally got the entire plot to this fic finished and written, I actually have some scenes for the next three chapters done to! But as I said mainly plot I intendedthis to be a little confusing from y/n perspective I want you to get a sense of what y/n is going through juggling her feelings and all that apart from that I really hope you enjoy this one xx

Taglist: @havenoffandoms​ @aphrodites-punch​ @charlieferret​ @thatgirly81​ @two-unbeatable-beaters​ @fitnees-motivation-2020​ @viking-raider​ @iloveyouyen​ @black-ninja-blade​

Gif not mine but the divider is xxx

Stephan was at a loss, sitting in the cheap b and b room he rented, papers strewn across the floral bed spread he had been going through his contacts agents. Friends. Investigative journalists. Anyone and everyone he could think of hoping someone somewhere would give him a break, a lead something anything! A way for him to distract Henry enough so he could slip you away from him. Fuck sake at this point he'd pull him in for a fucking parking violation just to get this barstard alone in a room for five minutes!! But no one was willing to help they were all in until the name Cavill was mentioned. He couldnt really blame them Cavill did two things to people who investigated him ruined them or off'd them.

Just last week another agent who'd been working undercover as one of the handlers of his prostitutes was found by the bay death by necklacing. A grusome death something he hadn't seen used in America before, usually it was a shooting or stabbing, necklacing was a brutal ,loud and mostly used in places like Africa and Brazil. Execution and torture all in one. It may be one of the cruelest ways to kill someone but it was in all honesty simple to do, hell anyone could do it which is why they couldn't pin it on Henry specifically, hands bound to your chest; in this case with wire and a tire full of petrol placed over you holding them still trapping them, doused in more petrol and set alight. Its a slow agonizing death that takes around twenty minutes, her screams would have been loud but no one in the area had heard or see a thing he bet they had and were just to frightened. He couldn't blame them he saw the girl before she'd been taken off to autopsy, agents; professional, trained to deal with anything agents,onscene were being physically sick from the sight and smell unused to this type of violence. The poor agent had suffered even before that. Autopsy showed she had been raped beforehand she was described as cut and torn up in the report, but they must have used condoms of some description as there wasn't any dna evidence. Or if there was it had been burned away like her charred skin, her body had been in such a bad way that there was nothing to go on. Without evidence they can't charge or formally question a suspect.

Safe to say everyone was shaken up, some left completley requested reassignment and all the ones who came before him were either dead of terrified of the man. Not only that word of Stephans fuck up had got out and he was now a laughing stock. Stephan was supposed to be a honey trap, go undercover seduce a woman of intrest to do one of two things one, prob for information, if she had some great! Stay and use it and If she didnt dump her move on to the next job simple Or two, find a woman to maintain a close connection to the target in this case that was you. It was believed that there was a connection between you and Cavill.

The mobster out of the blue was trying to buy a block of flats in a shitty area. Now Cavill owned property,  lots of property but never flats and never on that type of estate. He owned fancy restaurants and night clubs stupidly high class bars that had dress codes and the residential properties were allways four beroom three bathroom houses worth millions with fucking suanas and shit. Bottom line it was out of character and the man was trying to rush through the sale. The higher ups had hoped with the way he was acting; so out of character and flustered, that he would fuck up. He a mobster kingpin with litteraly billions to his name was trying to buy a building that was falling apart, in a run down poor area, wasn't for sale and was willing to skip negotiations and overpay... 

The only possible connection to it all was you. They knew Fletcher had dealings with Henry and knew Henry used the cafe for his smaller business meetings. That was the most infuriating thing they knew so much but they just couldn't prove it!. So Stephan was called in to see if you was privvy to Henry and his empire and if you was willing to be an informant. Simple. Until it wasn't and feelings got involved. He wasn't supposed to fall for you but he had and that had cost him the assignment. He was supposed to drop it but he wont, so he had to sniff around himself he knew Henry kidnapped you, he knew Fletcher set it up and he knew he was going to save you. With that in mind he decided to do something he never even dreamed. Stephan was going to go rouge.

Henry was content albeit impatient,  he waited at the bottom of the stairs waited for you his wonderful little princess. He had arranged a night out in one of his top restaurants, he figured now that you were here willingly he could begin to spoil you, lavish you with the luxury you deserved and you had been good these past days you deserved a treat. Tonight was about showing you just what it means to be his, the respect, the glitz and glamour. He was hoping that he could begin to sway you more, he knew you were questioning youself and him, his intentions and as you were questioning he saw a change you were more compliant. He paced slowly his head of security Luke was there beside him stiff as a board, Luke thought it was a mistake flaunting you around so early. But Luke could go fuck himself, Luke was not in charge and Luke should keep his opinions to himself.

Henry was begining to get tired of the mans bitching it was clear that his head of security had something against his sweet pet. It may have been the fact that Henry; seeing the bruises on your wrists after your escape that was definitely not made from handcuffs, had investigated and watched the security footage seeing the way the gruff man had manhandled you dragged you through the house after taunting you, thrown you into your day room on the day you'd escaped. Yes Henry ha found out and promised the man a grizzley end if it ever happened again. The only man to leave marks on your soft skin was him. Luke was bitter over the fact you'd escaped further then the garden on his watch, well thats what Henry put it down to.

"If you sigh again I will stop you breathing altogether!" He finally snapped over his shoulder to the man. 

"Sorry sir I just think-" Henry spun on his heel pointing at him.

"I dont pay you to think! I pay you to do as your fucking told! To protect our investments and you didnt! Incase you haven't noticed your on thin ice as it is, theres a line of others who would take your place in a heartbeat Luke so I suggest you start pulling your shit together unless you want an early retirement." The words were hissed a snarl he couldn't help the thrill that came from Luke's shocked fearfull look. Luke knew poeple didnt retire from his position, not the in the masive pay out and a sipping pinacolada on a sandy beach sense. The only retirement he would see is two foot wide and six foot deep if he was lucky. Henry watched steely eyes burning into the man before him, the guard finally looked away gulping nodding slowly.

"Y-yes sir..I will go make sure the car is ready" Henry smirked crossing his arms 

"You do that! Be the most usefull thing you've done all day." Luke cringed at that but could say nothing he simply left the house out towards the drive shuting the door with a quiet click. Henry shook his head as he watched Luke descend the few step of the porch. He was going to have to do something about him soon.

He pulled his thoughts away from the dark path they had traveled and glanced at the stairs again then began his pacing from side to side once again looking at his the rolex upon his wrist. You were taking your time. Sighing he turned again looking expectantly at the stairs. Its not like you had to decide what to wear he had laid it out! He had done the hard bit all you had to do was hair and make up. He grunted making another lap of his choosen pace route. You better not be up there pouting, if you were he was going to be very annoyed. Five more minutes. He decided five minutes then he would go check and if you was being a little madam and pouting he would blister you ass with the belt at his waist and drag you out anyway dressed or not. He moved finally standing at the stairs hand gripping the banister in a white knuckle grip hissing through his teeth. 

Then he heard it heels tapping on the marble floor slow and unsteady, you were coming. He held his breath waiting for you to turn the corner at the top of the landing. When you did he had to swallow dryly, you were a vision, stunning you were made to be on his arm there was no doubt about it. You made your way down the stairs trying not to topple over in the high heels, which you suspected he had put you in so you couldnt run. Well you could try but you have to unbuckle them first which would be a dead give away. 

You'll admit the dress was beautiful and comfortable considering how figure hugging it was. A deep royal blue velvet ,thin spaghetti straps and a low open back stopping just at the swell of your bottom, the front had a soft swooping neckline showing a hint of the very top of your breasts. It was a fine choice, henry definitely had an eye for these things. Every outfit he put you in since being here was always well thought out and this was no exception. You had to be careful tonight, he had provided a dress, stockings garterbelt even jewellery and some new lipsticks! but no panties. It made you nervous, it was one thing to always be around the house in skirts with no undies but to go out? You had to be wary, the small mercy was that it was a knee length dress so hopefully no accidents. However that being said with how form fitting it was and the way it pushed up your boobs there was more chance of a nip slip then a lip slip.

There was a complete set of expensive looking Jewellery that each had been packed in blank leather jewellery boxes and was presented on purple velvet. The necklace was three long strings of diamonds one a choker then longer to your collar bone then the final resting just below your dress' neckline the middle string holding one single large diamond in the center, the weighty rock made you dread to think of the cost and matching small dangling earrings and a bracelet...And anklet he had insisted you to be head to toe in diamonds. 

For your hair you had styled it up and away from your face in a sleek sophisticated look,your make up was light, you didnt want to go all out and make him think you were trying to impress him, although in some respects you did want to impress him but for now you would ignor that. You had settled for a light face of make up and one of your new lipsticks a dark nude shade between a peach and beige the last thing you wanted was for him to get angry about not putting in effort which was a real possibility with how the slightest things could trigger a mood swing.

You'd found the past week since you had....Assisted him in the livingroom something had changed, a subtle change at first. You found youself stealing quick glances and smiles at him, he had caught you staring a few times and winked making you flush and stutter. He still had his moments but it seemed your 'admission' of not wanting to leave and wanting to try to stay and fall in love with him had calmed him down significantly. Sure you'd been given a few punishments when he got insecure here and there. You had been finding yourself participating in all of the intimate moments he was forcing onto you, when you did things with him you could barely speak let alone think the throws of passion was an escape. To your own confusion and shame you now admitted to yourself you enjoyed him lathering you with attention it was becoming to easy to melt into his embrace, to tempting to kiss the man back and cuddle up to him as he soothed the burning prints he left across your skin. You were frightened at just how much you began to crave him and need him, you still tried resisting but it was few and far between. In reality you were giving in to him and you didnt exactly hate the change. despite everything it sill felt a little wrong to let him get his way but that bad feeling was becoming easier to ignore.

But don't get things wrong, you had no desire to stay here permanently you had just resigned yourself to it for the time being...You think things i  your...Relationship were confusing at the moment you liked the man but hated how this had all come about. You tried reasoning that your feelings were changing in some sort of survival technique or something. That subconsciously you had to pacify him, make him believe you was slowly falling for him so he wouldn't hurt you or the ones you loved. But at this point you wasn't entirely sure. I mean if that were true and you did this all for Stephans life shouldnt you feel somthing for the agent. But in reality all you felt was abandoned and betrayed by him, but it didn't hurt not like the loos of a friend or lover as you thought it would have. Maybe you was just weird? or maybe you didn't really love him? What ever it was you was thankfull for it as you could concentrate more on yourself and what you had to do to get out of this alive, sane and single. You were not falling in love with this mad man no matter what he did and said you shouldnt fall for it you shouldnt fall for him. But you were slowly realising that just because  you shouldn't didn't mean you wouldn't.

Henry's face lit up as you slowly made your way down the steps on wobbly feet unused to the heels that brought the top of your head up to his eye line. Seeing you struggling he smirked meeting you half way up the stairs linking his arm with yours. You flinched almost pulling back knowing you should but his grip was firm and you needed help. His voice was low and playful when he spoke.

"It seems you will need my help with walking tonight before you've even touched a drop of wine my love. Thats no matter, more of a reason for you to cling to me and I do enjoy you wrapped around me pet." You gave a quick glance, so you was in these ridiculous heels for a reason. You forced a smile letting go of the banister as he walked you down the stairs over to the door.

"You look stunning! I have the best table in the place reserved just for us but first" he moved spinning around you and just like a magic trick his hand appeared from behind him with a small ring box, he moved pulling up your left hand kissing the back of it. You shivered as he maintained eye contact feeling him smirk. You cursed yourself wanting to contorl your reactions but couldnt seem to. He spoke a cheeky grin his voice was playfull. 

"Here something to complete the outfit I wont have my little girls hands bare~" You gulped as he pulled back the lid of the small box revealing an obnoxiously huge rock sat embedded in what looked like a silver but was most likely white gold band. You tugged at your hand and winced when he dug his thumb in your palm tugging your hand out hashly.

"Daddy! That's to much-I'm not one for rings please everything else is enough. " He blinked his face dropping.

"You don't like it? Whats wrong with it?" You eyed him carefully and shrugged.

"No-nothing I just..." he interrupted you growling at you scowling

"You don't want it? I had it made for you and now you don't even fucking want it? I just wanted to treat you baby? You've been so good and now your going to start acting up? When I'm trying to reward you for being so good. Just trying to have a quiet night out with you, I dont have to take you out, I could fucking keep you here day in day out" You could hear it, that of hectic insanity. Frantic undertones. You quickly shook your head.

"No no I want it! I do want it I'm just worried...It looks...Ive never had anything that looks that expensive" you moved forward to him placing a hand on his chest rubbing slightly, youd learned fast that initiating intimate gestures help calm him a little.

"I-i'm frightened that I'd upset you if I loose it especially if we dance..We are going to have our first slowdance tonight aren't we? I was hopeing we could..Tho people will laugh I've never danced like that before." It did the trick he calmed blinking slowly then beamed at you.

"Oh little one thats sweet of you to worry about daddys feelings like that..But baby I wont be upset if you lost it Id just get you another one pet... Now come here and keep still like a good girl" you sighed in relief as he calmed down you cringed and twisted your hand as he tried to place it on your ring finger, his eyes flicked up to you in warning.

"Its...thats bad luck I'd rather not.." he grunted and took your right hand placing it on your ring finger. You shuddered as you realised it fit perfectly. He moved back placing one parting kiss.

"That is your first warning tonight, daddy doesn't want any games...You ruin tonight and I will be very displeased and you will not like the outcome" you nodded takig a breath.

"Y-yes daddy I understand...I'll be good" he gave a quick look.

"You better now lets go" you released a breath tho calmer he wasn't happy youd argued, disagreed you wasnt supposed to do that.

Henry playing the part of a gentleman opened the door to the car for you. Once inside he set off out of the gate, you shivered a little trying not to glance at him. He moved his hand to your leg patting it softly rubbing the soft nylon of the stockings he groaned subtly to himself as he continued down the road, you cringed a little moving to pull the hem of the dress down not wanting him to take advantage of the rising skirt and your bare pussy merely inches above. He squeezed lightly feeling you tug the fabric down under his palm cutting off the contact. He rolled his eyes biting his lip to stop the comments on the tip of his tongue. No he wont ruin this night before its begun, anything that happens he can rectify later when you were restrained and withering one your final treat. He licked his lips as he thought about the nights festivities and hopefully what the outcome will be. He was pulled from his devious thoughts when you wriggled uncomfortably still trying to get used to wearing half a set of underwear... And lets face it stockings and garter belts aren't exactly the norm any way. It was after ten minutes of sighing, huffing and squirming that he spoke pulling you out of your thoughts.

"Whats the matter little one?" you snapped you head to him and smiled going to brush him off he removed his hand from your leg wagging a finger.

"Ah ah come on no lying that will be your second warning and we aren't even there yet~" you closed your mouth giving him a heavy pout he rose an eyebrow letting his hand land back in your lap.

"Its...Well I've never...I'm getting used to the stockings...Never worn them before and its strange under the dress...especially not having any panties on....I'm covered but not " he through his head back and laughed as he pulled up to a red light.

"Oh love! you should have said baby...I thought you were having a paddy! I was getting ready to take you back home and tann your naughty backside with my belt." you snapped your head in his direction gulping knowing full well he would have.

"Oh little one don't be so tense..I promise tonight I'm going to spoil you this is a treat baby girl a night of fine food,  fine wine and even finer company" you smiled forgetting your underwear situation for a moment twiddling your new bracelet wanting to take your mind off things. You were going to try and enjoy the night try and forget everything just for one night. You smiled up at him shyly.

"I'm looking forward to it..But I get the feeling your taking me somwhere fancy and I've neve done fancy... think the fanciest place I've been is your house"he chuckled looking forward to the road cheking the lights then moved to face you.

"Our...Its our house pet you live there to now remember.. and don't worry I own the place so no one will say anything if you make a little slip up...Okay little one and if anyone does upset you ,you tell me straight away..I wont have my babygirls night ruined by anyone" you didn't want his words to effect you but they did, the idea of him caring enough to make sure you enjoy the night was sweet.

"Y-you mean it?" he nodded giving the lights another quick glance then focused back on you

"Of course! tonight is all about spoiling my number one! you can have anything you want and that includes a doggy bag of deserts to bring home" you smiled at him hopefully giggling.

"Deserts sound good! I'm excited now do they have cheesecake?" he pursed his lips thinking for a second wanting to prolong your cheerful mood.

"Yes, three kinds and I assume you'll be having a slice of each?" you nodded at him with a cheeky grin, Henry smirked at you leaning in playfully tucking his hand by your knee tickling the back making you giggle and squirm pushing at him. 

"Well my love three slices..Now that is a big ask and deserves a pre-payment I think...Three kisses should suffice" you grinned shaking your head at him and squealed as he leaned over playfully growling stealing three sweet kisses then leaned back in his seat , he was gobsmacked when youd followed him placing a peck against his cheek. You froze realizing what you did and jumped back holding your lips in surprize. What the fuck was that? He smirked moving the car into drive as the light changed. You righted yourself in the seat leaning back choosing to forget that little slip up. But still felt optimistic maybe tonight would be a fun night out even if it was with Henry.

YES! it had paid off, a few days he had spent watching waiting but finally there was movement. he had been waiting here at the main road leading to the mobsters house. Parked next to a motel mainly used by truckers who stayed overnight, Stephan quickly climbed to the front seat of the car watching as the Aston martin drove past him, not just any Aston martin Henry's Aston martin, the only custom db11 in the city. He quickly pulled his binoculars out to see...Fuck yes!...He couldn't believe his luck! you were in the passenger seat and dolled up... He took a breath you looked incredible and to his utter despair and confusion you looked happy?.

Henry stopped at the intersection Stephan fumed as Henry laughed at something you said then moved his hand out of sight making you roll your eyes and press him away playfully laughing he didn't pull back instead he quickly leaned over kissing you, and the thing that cut Stephan most was that you let him, you seemed to enjoy his attention. Stephan's heart clenched seeing you like that, you were supposed to hate him...You were a captive. You couldn't possibly like the man could you?. He shook his head of course you didn't a mad man like henry? you were playing a part, hopefully a part that you could retire from tonight. He flicked on the ignition throwing down his binoculars if he could follow you both...If he could get in he had a chance, could give you a chance to escape! he could save you.

He took a second watching again as you moved you were smiling giving him a quick peck, he couldn't bare to watch anymore he closed his eyes gripping the steering wheel tight swearing. Could he be to late? He loathed to think of just what he had put in your head what he could have convinced you to do. The light turned green and car pulled away, he waited a few seconds then pulled out making sure not to be to close or be caught by the lights. It only took the disgraced agent around fifteen minuets to realize where you were being taken. It would seem Henry was taking you on a date? trying to romance you, wine and dine you but then what? there had to be a reason, and ulterior motive. Stephan held back watching as the Aston martin pulled around the front of the hotel, Henry exited the car and walked around holding your door for you. He felt a rush of anger as Henry helped you out of the car then tossed the keys across the car to the valet. Stephan stared gulping, you really did look amazing even if you were struggling to stand in shoes he knew you wouldn't have been caught dead in if you had a say. He must have forced you in to them, so he could have you wrapped around him, leaning and clutching at him as you wobbled about unsteady. His blood boiled as Henry moved offering you his arm when you took it he felt..betrayed almost asking himself if you were worth it now, it looked like Henry had got to you. He seethed watching you climb the few stairs to the hotel entrance linking arms with your captor ,you looked up at the mad man smiling nodding as he spoke completely at ease.

Something was very wrong with this image, a kidnapped woman going out on the town with her kidnapper? on what looked like a romantic date?. You hadn't seemed like one of those shallow golddiggers who'd do anything for a bit of bling or money, but Stephan couldn't help but wonder to himself at that point. You looked happy if not a little nervous? shy? you looked like a love struck teenager. But Stephan couldn't help himself he couldn't doubt you, you needed him to get you out, to save you. You needed him to try. He moved pulling the car around the back, thankfully as this was a hotel people were coming and going all the time so it'd be easy enough to get in, he was coming for you. Tonight he will save you and it will look like nothing more then a lovers spat! a perfectly realistic situation that would have no repercusions. Once he had you, you could testify against the mobster and this would all be over. Henry would finally be behind bars where he belongs.

You took a breath seeing the long line of people waiting to get in the restaurant each in expensive looking glad rags,you tucked your head down akwardly as Henry strode past the long line of people each making a fuss at the two of you. Some did not knowing just who the man on your arm was. Henry cut to the front interrupting the guest at the front.

"Is everthing ready?" His voice was bored as a woman quickly scampered over ready to let the owner in much to the anger of the other guest. The two at the front tried capturing his attention to give him a piece of their mind but Henry ignored them.

It wasn't long before you were in the high end restaurant in one of the towns two five star hotels that he owned. It was nice the restaurant was about fifteen stories up a dark blue almost black marble looking floor,  tables all coverd with pure white table clothes that felt like some stupid 800 thread count material ,high back black leather chairs ,single white roses and candles on each table dotted around. The focal point was a huge wall with intergrated tropical fishtank that seperated the regular tables and vip area which was raised slightly. The set up was split in two, one half all centred around useing the veiw courtesy of the floor to ceiling windows looking over the town the other half had the fish tank to look at..It was clever really the fishtank gave you a faux sense of privacy a perfect divider that let light flow to the other half of the seating area.

Henry walked you straight past the fish tank to a high private table in the corner of the vip area a huge bouquet of roses sat on the table. 

"For you babygirl" you couldn't help but smile brightly as he slid them to you. You leaned in smelling the roses slowly running your finger across the curve of the soft petals your heart warmed and for a moment you truley felt... Special? Cherished?.

You cast a sweeping gaze across the seating area admiring it whilst empty knowing it wont be for long, it was the most expensive place you'd ever been to eat. As you looked around you noticed that the other geusts were slowly trickling in being seated by smartly dressed servers. You looked slower taking in the decor more carfully. Henry wasnt lying when he said the table was the best in the place  it had a uninterrupted veiw of the city and the restaurant.

"You like it?" You nodded looking around the decor was black and gold giving a art decor gatsby vibe. He moved pulling out your chair letting sit then sat himself across from you smileing as you pulled the roses across the table placing then on the corner out of the way blushing. 

"Yes I was right it is a fancy place...A little daunting but exciting...And I can't wait for my cheesecake its my favourit and I haven't had it in sooo long!"

"Any thing for you my little one...But only good little girls who eat all their dinner get a desert you know that...ah ah no pouting!"

"But tonight's supposed to be a treat daddy" he gave you a stern look across the table at your pouting 

"Yes and if your a good girl and ask nicely we would eat out like this everyday, but you were naughty to begin with and daddy has to be strict and have lots of rules...And one of those rules is no desert before dinner now enough pouting don't be ungrateful" you blushed stupidly enough you agreed with him in a way you'd come to enjoy some of his rules, they made you feel...accomplished in a way youd never experienced before, you had something to work to and when you did as he asked he praised you which always made a warmth in your chest blossom. You tucked your nose in a rose you'd plucked from your bouquet grinning softly.

"Im sorry Daddy...Thank you for the roses they are very beautiful" he smiled holding his arms out in a exasperated gesture tilting his head for emphasis

"Well at least you will accept flowers with out a fuss little one...Thats one thing I can now be sure of" You looked down still feeling scolded even if his tone was light you cursed the feeling in your chest. Like rocks had been stuffed in your ribcage making your chest heavy, he was obviously still bitter about the ring you could tellfrom how pissy he was being. You fidgeted worrying just what that would mean for you during the night.

Almost immediately after you sat down you were served a sweet smelling dark wine by a fairly handsome man who popped the cork with ease handing it to Henry whilst giving you a nervous smile you smiled back to him unaware of Henry's face turning sour he nodded and gave the young man a gruff grunt to proceed, the wine was acceptable apparently you watched as the server moved pouring you out a half glass with shaking hands well aware of Henry who was glaring daggers at him ,you smiled to thanking him. Henry must have taken it wrong as he snarled a 'fuck off' at the man who quickly placed the bottle on the table and practically ran out of sight.

"Hen- da I...what was?...I was just being polite please can we just enjoy ourselves...Please." he sat back regarding you one elbow on the arm of his chair twiddling his fingers, his gaze was unerving. He paid no mind to a waitress placing a bottle of bourbon and a glass finally he clicked his tongue smirking enjoying makeing you squirm. He smiled quickly leaning over pouring his own drink casually.

"I'd be carefull pet, you've got one warning left tonight it'd be a shame to have to reprimand you here and trust me daddy has no qualms of upending you on this table and giving you a sound thrashing" you jolted opening your mouth unable to find any words you settled on nodding quietly sipping at you drink meekly he rolled his fingers in a smooth motion until it was a loose fist.

"Answer me pet you know I hate you ignoring me unless you want to be made an example of here? want everyone to see your cute little bottom turned pink over daddy's lap as you kick and squirm like a naughty little girl" you squinted your eyes cheeks tniging pink at his words, deciding it was best not to test him you quickly slapped the drink down a few drops jumped from the glass staining the crisp white table cloth. You froze watching the dark liquid seep across the fibers.

"I-I'm sor-ry please I didn't mean-" you panicked and began begging looked up and could have cried for some reason he was keeping you on edge tonight more so than usual. He was smiling playfully into the rim of his glass, he had been toying with you...had he? you had hoped you knew his mind games but he was in an unpredictable mood tonight.

He moved slowly plucking the menu curling a finger calling a waitress over and ordered for the both of you. You sat twiddling your fingers unsure of what to do, he had seemed happy in the car but in here...It was like he wanted to keep you on a short leash, make you understand although you were out having a treat you were not free to do as you pleased. You settled on people watching moving to get a view of the other couples, they smiled and curled around one another so happy in love. Free.

You looked down blinking away tears, was this worse? Being out and seeing what you'd never have? In the house you could ignore it but here watching them be so genuine. No matter how much you fell at this mans feet you'd never have that freedom to feel, to be so careless in your love. You'd always be controlled be pressed into what ever made him happy...

Your purpose was to make this beautiful monster happy. But you'd agreed, was it wrong to let yourself go under? To fully succumb to his dominance and try to enjoy him. To find comfort in him and accept him as the beautiful yet cruel man he was?you would have to eventually so why wait? It'd save you heat ache in the end. And as the days blurred into weeks and months you knew that it would be easy. He was vindictive and spite full. He was ruthless and cunning yet to you he was almost kind, it would be easier if you swallowed your pride and let yourself fall for him. Life would be easier and you was slowly accepting that it was the obvious choice, you moved casting a glance at the couples around you. Could that be you? Could you have that happiness in the end with him? the frightening thig was. Yes. you could already feel that your feelings were changing slowly but surely, were you in love with him? no did you care for him? Yes.

You hadn't realised he moved until he had made his way arohnd the table holding ut a hand palm up below your down turned face. You jumped snapping your head up confused he furrowed his brows slightly pressing a hand to your cheek wiping away a few stray tears.

"Dont cry pet...Not here no one should see your tears but me, no one should put them there but me. Here come on take my hand" you quickly moved wiping them away once your face was free of tears he grasped your hand. Pulling you up slowly, you followed docile as he pulled you towards a large dancefloor at the back of you space just behinde the bar. You saw there were a few couples were already slow dancing you tensed.

He spun round to face you as the song changed to one you recognized, No peace by Sam Smith played loud yet soft through the speakers it was one of our favourite's but this time the words had a much deeper meaning. He held your back his palm hot against the bare skin he stepped forward pulling your hand up near his shoulder you held him softly. Swaying slowly you'r eyes darted around eyes were on you from those who knew Henry, guests and staff alike.

"Look at me...Forget them little one they are just curious its rare for them to see such elegance up close, and I must say you look divine...More of a little lady then a little girl" you flushed at the compliment trying to follow his skilled movements as he placed his feet expertly without a thought to it as he spun you around in smooth steps across the floor, you swore looking at your feet as you stepped wrong capturing his toes. He chuckled and lifted you effortlessly off his foot  an inch or so and placed you back to the floor

"Sorry..I don't mean to..I've never danced like this before...Not very good on a normal dance floor and I'm ten times worse at this, these heels aren't helping...I must look like fucking bambi on ice" he chuckled smoothing his thumb across the skin of your back. Enjoying the backless dress pressing his hands into you feeling your shivers the ripples across your back as he smothered you in his huge frame, letting you feel small in his embrace. He quickly and subtly lifted you up once again as you nearly stood on him again.

"Bambi is a very fitting name I may steal that one" you gave a shy smile smirked spinning you aubruptly then pulled you back skillfully tugging you a little closer. He tilted his head down talking in a hushed baritone voice. 

"Your doing fine...Just let daddy lead, daddy will look after you I promise" you gulped and nodded he spun you again this time making sure your bodys touched, slipping his feet between yours using them to move yours guiding your steps.

He settled you to him as he moved prompting you to lay your head on his shoulder he spun you both slowly bringing you near the center of the floor to make sue no one bumped into you. You sighed humming along quietly whispering the lyrics suddenly there was a lump in your throat you swallowed hard pressing your head into his neck. It looked intimate. It was intimate. You listened as he picked up where you left off humming he lyrice into your ear low and relaxing. You whined moving your hands holding him around the neck breathing a shaky breath into his neck. He moved pressing a sweet kiss to your head song changed and you was thankful, pulling your head up to see his eyes staring at you there was a fondness he gave a lopsided grin.

"Are you okay my love? Your very tearful tonight." You blinked shaking your head at him.

"I'm..C-Can I speak truthfully....without?.." he tensed as you trailed off, you wanted to speak freely without consequences. He mulled over the idea unsure if he should shoot you down, he decided against it if he halted you now you may never be honest with him again. He nodded to you giving you his undivided attention as he slowdance with you in the crowd. You took a deep breath unsure if it was the right time to have this conversation. He had given you permision but you will still be careful with your words.

"I'm confused... You confuse me Henry...Being here like this I..."You looked to the other couples wistfully then back to him.

"I want that...I want that love that freedom and...And I...We feel like a couple ,like we could be a normal couple like them ,but you frighten me, the things you say and do and I...I'm unsure of whats right and wrong now...Normal couples don't do what we do they dont threaten spanking's on dates!" he hummed in response mulling over your words for a few breaths, could everythinghave been his fault? You didnt understand the type of relationship he had with you therefor you dont know what he wants from you or what to expect, is that confusion why you were fighting so hard?

"I'd hoped you were finally accepting things now. I'm glad you were honest with me about being confused love and I'm proud of you. We feel like a couple because we are.... But normal? No we are not we are a bdsm couple, we live a bdsm lifestyle which suits both of us. Your mine and I am yours we are soulmates. You are just finally catching up to that and soon we will feel like this all the time, this happiness this relaxed and playful. I know its all still quite new now but soon you will be used to me being your lover, your daddy, your dominant ,your one and only and in time I will be your husband and father to your children. We will be like this for the rest of our lives. I apologize that I'm only just explaining this now and I can see why you were so reluctant and scared going form a normal vanilla and quite innocent relationship to being in this...very strict and quite demanding, sexually fueled one can be daunting. I was just so caught up wishing you would ajust quicker but matters of the heart can't be rushed and now I see that is what I was trying to do. I am content for now. Soon this will be normal, the jewellery the luxury anything you desire will be yours when you finally admit to loveing me back, when you succumb to your true feelings." He moved looking to the others around you then back to you smiling.

"You will be just as happy as them..If not more you will be the most treasured and spoilt woman in the city, the world even I promise and when that day comes you will make me the happiest man on the planet" he moved solidifying his statment with a kiss, a promise he words sounded like vows in itself. You sighed and pulled back he took a deep breath as you did.

"I'm trying I...Its a lot to take in and I'm glad I spoke to you...I think I understand a little more now...Your You dont mean to frighten me you just...Get excited? okay I can live with that...I've never been in love before its frightening" he smiled twisting you around pulling your back to his front holding you close placing a kiss to your shoulder.

"I know you are trying love, what do you think this is tonight? This is your reward for your week of good behaviour. I am patient I will wait for you neither of us are going anywhere. And in the end everything will be worth it you'll see" 

You stood stock still freezing as you looked out into the now full restaurant.You spoke as you cast your eyes to the male in the crowd. He was glaring at you making your chest go cold.No. What did he see? What will he think? You dropped you hands from henry's arms your breath was a whisper.

"Stephan?" Henry brought his head up abruptly going rigid he hands wrapping around your waist tighter almost painfull as if you was going to run to the other male. He looked around growling low and dangerous searching for him finally he honed in on him. Was hair dye all someone needed to bypass his men? He seethed as you trembled in his arms he held his breath. Moving closer to your ear.

"You want him? you want to run to him? Do you? You can I will let you but he will be dead before you touch him!" His words were a hot hiss in  your ear.

"No...I-I want him gone" the words were out befor you could catch them he hissed in your ear.

"Y-You what?" he turned you abruptly trying to sniff out a lie but you just held his gaze firm he swallowed his mouth going dry he covered his shock well then glared

"We will see...Come lets go see our dear Stephan shall we?" You tried struggled to keep up but he continued storming across the floor toward him. Henry half dragged half marched you through the dancing couples as you staggered in the stupid fucking shoes!. He turned to you slowly as you gained on Stephan who either bravely or stupidly stood his ground. Your heart beat faster tho you was unsure why you were worried but for who you couldn't say.

"Just remember our arrangement and he will leave here alive" you took a deep breath humming in response before hissing out an answer.

"I'm not leaving Henry" After what felt like an eternity to stood face to face with him, the one you could have seen yourself with on the arm of the man you were forced to be with.

"Y/n..." you looked to him blinking slowly 

"Leave" you had to do it, to send him away Henry would hurt him. You wasn't sure if you were just saying that or not, maybe you wanted to stay with Henry. But that was a thought for another day.You swallowed standing tall looking straight at him, you will not have this mans blood on your hands and you will not be used by him again you had enough sorting out your own shit and trying to figure out Henry at this point Stephan could go fuck himself you will forget him. 

Stephan, Fletcher and Henry all three were the cause of this. It was a mans game and youd somehow become a pawn for all three. You had to choose a side.

"Yes I think you should leave, this is reservation only I'm afraid." Henrys words had a bite to them anyone watching would assume Henry was just dealing with a gate crasher, no one other then the three of you would know how truley volatile the situation was.

"You? No..y/n I'm here for you! To take you back! Please I'm sorry give me one last chance? I love you baby I can't live with out you please?" You froze everything stopped what was he doing? What the fuck was he doing? Making a scene people watched as Stephan made a wild plea for you to take him back. He made a perfect storm, a brilliant and well thought out display.

Henry tensed holding you. You could feel it he wasn't prepared for this. Had Stephan just out witted the king himself in his own building. You held your breath unsure of what to do If he had was there a chance?. Could this be it? Your escape even if you didnt love stephan could you use this ruse to get away? To go into some form of witness protection?

"Ha! Honestly Stephan you think she hasn't heard?" You took a step back to Henry holding his wrist. No you wont take that chance not now. You have to settle, to just accept your lot with Henry for your own sanity. You had only moments ago realised where you stood and now had some understanding of what this was!. And if you was honest with your self you wasn't willing to trust Stephan he was to little to late.

"You've lost your job, your home everything! What could you possibly offer her? Safety? Please" you faltered at Henry's words were all but laughed out mocking. He lost his job? If so it wasn't safe you picked up on the hidden meaning to his words. You would not be safe. Stephan would not be safe. Not if you took this chance.

You placed a hand to Henry's chest and swallowed your throat closed up as tears sprang to your eyes. You looked stephan dead in the eye his face dropped. He knew. Before he could speak another word you gave your answer through trembling lips.

"I-I said leave! Your a liar! You played me I was a job Stephan and I will not be used again...Leave and don't ever come back. I-I'm with Henry now, we are happy and planning a future and I don't need you around trying to ruin what we have." You shuddered tears rolling down your face. Henry pulled you closer, you just hoped Stephan realized that you did this of our own accord, that henry was giving you a choice and the fact of the matter is you chose this beautiful dastardly man.You had to turn away from him tucking yourself into Henry's side.

"You heard the lady, she chose me now leave" 'while you can' those three words went without saying, hanging in the air. Stephan stood his ground trying to plead with you that he had somewhere to take you, somewhere safe but you just shook your head. 

"No! I dont want you! I dont need you! Im happy with how things are and I can't believe youxd do this after all this time?!" You were trying to get through that he was to late the damage was done and youd already made up your mind, your reasons were unclear even to you but he doesnt need to know that all he needed to know was that you were staying exactly where you were.

"But baby you don't understand I was trying-" you shook your head at him desperately wanting hi  to stop youd made your decision.

"Enough! Stephan...Ive moved on its to late now go! And dont ever look for me again!" You moved wanting those to be your final words. You turned your back on stephan and looked up to Henry and leaned in to him whispered below your breath.

"Make him leave, please daddy" Henry felt a warmth spread through him as you made the request. You wanted him to intervene to make this boy leave. He would definatly help, protect his babygirl. He acted quickly.

"Security! See to stephan here escort him out" you tore your head up watching as three men apprehended him dragging him through the space to the entrance whre he was destined after that you didn't know. You took a deep breath looking around slowly  everyones eyes were on you. Henry growled and snapped at them making the restaurant begin the nights festivities. You stood hugging him a few seconds more then pulled you back slowly.

"Good girl...Such a good girl you did the right thing. My little love. The right thing." He pulled you in pressing his lips against yours slowly not forcing anything just happy to let you remain there in his arms. He moved slowly escorting ou back to yur table where a waitress brought out your meal after a few moments.

After the incident you found it hard to relax and only did so once back home. The rest of the night was overshadowed by it dread rolled in your stomach Henry was tense. And that normally meant bad things for you. If henry was angry with you he hid it well through dinner and you both tried salvaging the evening in your own ways. But even hree slices of cheesecake couldnt lift your spirits completely.

Once in the house he slammed the front door it echoed down the halls. You flinched and turned to him But he bypassed you and shouted loudly into the house standing tall shoulders back he was itching for a fight ou could tell he wanted to break somehing. Someone.

"LUKE GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT HERE!" Within a few short moments Luke came running stuttering.

"Hen-Sir I didn't know but we have him in-" he was knocked clean off his feet as Henry swung for him. No warning nothing just one fast powerfull fist connecting with his jaw. You screamed jumping back, the commotion got kals attention as the huge dog came barreling in to the foyer barking and growling on the defensive. You ignored the usually sweet now frightening canine watching the scene before you unfold shaking head to toe. Youd never seen henry hit someone before...not like that, he meant that he wanted to cause real damage then.Once his victim was on the floor he crouched wagging a finger at him.

"Hair dye...Thats all he needed to avoid you....your really loosing your touch about as quickly as I'm loosing fucking patience....This fuck up, your fuck up ruined my night! What was supposed to be our first date down the fucking drain because you let it slip A-FUCKING-GAIN! I don't care where he is, infact I don't want you to tell me but you get the info out of him and release him...Do not kill him" Henry stood at his full height hissing looking to you then clenched his jaw. Brilliant! Fucking brilliant you were shaking in terror just how he wanted the fucking night to end! Not! He sighed running a hand acros his face then looked to the man still on the floor.

"Tell me that you've atleast set the room up for us and this night isn't a complete waste" the man on the floor nodded cupping his jaw that was hanging at a funny angle it looked broken. You tensed Henry was powerful muh more powerull then he looked.Henry sighed he didnt move he didnt want you to bolt.

"Love... I'm sorry I just...i know its scary but you know daddy would never ever hurt you...Not truley, please love stop looking at me like that... Could you come here please?....That's it good girl I'm sorry little one good girl just like that" you moved slowly past the man withering on the floor. And stood before Henry it took everything not to flinch from him as he moved to hold your waist and made his way to the stairs pulling you with him. You didn't fight him, you were scared stiff you doubted that even kal would protect you from his master. He walked you right up stairs to the bed room you winced seeing that things were out...Toys. He moved past you huffing and swearing leaving you to just stand and wait. He made his way into the bathroom tense he was angry, furious even. You shook unsure how to tread it had been a while since he was this angry and you wasn't sure who he was angry at. You, stephan or luke...You hoped it wasnt you.

You leaned on the dresser undoing the buckles on your shoes sighing once the sore soles of your feet hit the cool floor. You looked to the bed the sheets were changed. A dark purple satin with matching pillow cases a single black rose on your side of the bed and petals scattered about the place. It was romantic. Well until you saw the contraptions attached to the chair facing the bed which was intended for you to be placed upon. A large purple cilindrycal arch placed on the seat and..Well there was a very satisfying looking dildo sticking right up in the center and a small bobble textured silicone mat just in front of it, there were cuffs attached to the two back legs of the chair that would make the 'toy' take your weight you shivered unsure if you wanted to do this is he was in a mood. You shook your head best get to work calming him down.

You moved slowly to the bathroom he was hunched over the sink he looked up meeting your gaze in the mirror. you blinked moving behinde him hugging him from behind he froze in your arms hands still braced on the marble.

"Thank you daddy...tonight was fun even if he tried to ruin it" you pressed a kiss to his shoulder. He turned abruptly grasping your chin making you look in his eyes.

"You..you had fun..I thought you was upset?" you shook your head at him he sounded angry but you'd thought it was at you aparently not.

"Of course it was our first date...and we had our first dance I just...I wanted you to know that I'm greatfull" he blinked shaking you 

"LIES! How could you possibly? you wanted to go with him! to leave me! I LOVE YOU I FUCKING ADORE YOU AND YOU STILL WANT TO LEAVE ME! WHY? WHY DO YOU FUCK AROUND LIKE THIS? WHY DO YOU TRY TO MANIPULATE ME? MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME IM YOUR LOVER YOUR SOULMATE! IS THAT NOT ENOUGH?!" you screamed struggling as his nails broke the skin of your arms."NO!-NO PLEASE I DIDN'T- I WASN'T PLEASE DADDY DON'T!" you cried out loud trying to grab him as he spun you around slamming you to the door making it close with a slam the sound ringing in your ear

"ADMIT IT! ADMIT TO ME WHAT YOU REALLY WANTED! YOU WANTED HIM YOU WANT HIM!" you shuddered as his eyes searched yours but found only tears you shook your head trying to pull back from him.

"P-ple-ease your hurting me..Daddy I'm here with you-I chose you. I-I want you daddy, pl-please let go" your crying seemed to get more out of control as you now struggled to speak breathing was difficult. He blinked your painfull whimpers cuting him deep as he realized he was the cause. It snapped him out of it as he saw that he had infact hurt you he let go taking heaving breaths. 

He expected you to run but all you did was stay still sobbing your heart out before him clutching your bleeding arms. he moved a hand to you you managed not to flinch but he could see it you wanted to. You wanted to run from him. He swore and quickly wrapped you in his arms.

"Oh my god my love, my heart I'm sorry..I'm so sorry love please shush its okay your okay...shh shh I'm sorry daddy is here, come here my baby..My sweet sweet girl" he pulled you close and just like that he was soothing you again rubbing your back. you trembled and clutched onto him sobbing he took a deep breath.

"I-I'm s-sorry But I didn't I didn't want to go...I wanted to stay with you...He lied he used me im here..I decided to stay with you" he closed his eyes he knew you were coming around. He was just so angry. At Luke at Stephan and at himself. He had fucked up from word one he knew that. This wasn't the plan. He had so desperatly wanted to make tonight THE night. The meal and danceing having fun then bring you back to a romantic room and make love to you. To get your consent, to toy with you untill you were dripping begging for him and finally. finally spend himself inside you. And wake up tomorrow morning with you wrapped around him happy. tonight was supposed to be the first night of the rest of your lives. the introduction to your new life.but now that seemed the last thing that was going to happen, after manhandeling you like that he was sure you were now going to try and reject him completely. that this whole shit show was going to set the relationship back a good few weeks. you looked up cutely blushing.

"The..The bedroom is sweet...I like the sheets and...And the roses its romantic" he smiled down at you seeing that you was trying to overcome the little spat. He hummed grinning rubbing his hands across your back slowly feeling you unwind.

"You did ,did you? well I shall remember that" you opened you mouth then closed it slowly

"What is it? you looked like you was going to ask something very important then little one" you shuddered squirming under his gaze he noted you rubbing your thighs together.

"W-what is that thing? I-in there on the chair?" he smiled at your innocence and began ushering you to move so he could open the door guiding you out.

"That my love is a gift..For you mostly but I will also get some enjoyment out of it..It is called a sybian...Just think of it as my little babygirls very own rocking horse." he chuckled noticing you froze on the spot, he pressed you forward making you take step towards it.

"It rocks?" Henry laughed moving you closer.

"No my little love it does not rock, I have no doubt however that you will be once your on it...Not tonight tho I've my outburst has ruined our night already" you blinked you couldn't help being curious of the thing you blinked tilting your head, you might aswell start enjoying yourself afterall tonight youd made it clear you was going to stay of your own accord maybe its time to just take a leap of faith.

"No I want a go...And you did say its mine and that youd spoil me tonight...I want to play on it" his jaw dropped. What? Were you seriously initiating sex? It was the first time you'd started anything or even showed any real interest. He gulped looking from you to the expensive vibrator then you again. Could him clarifying your relationship have caused this change? Or was there something more at work, were their feelings involved. He wasn't sure but not one to kick a gift horse in the mouth he smiled nodding making you blush brightly and move forward running the tips of your fingers over the slim dildo inspecting it naively. Oh yes the night was back on track and Henry couldn't be more thrilled.

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

This is the last ask ill send because im honestly tired of this whole thing

I dont know why you brought up the anon hate you got when that’s no part of the discussion. Even if it isnt your intention, you’re making yourself out of to be the victim when you arent. You say you want to get better but each time something gets pointed out you get on the defensive. I dont know why you decided to bring it up, but now that you have: Piama is indeed whitewashed on your drawing. “Warm lighting” doesnt change peoples undertones like that. Compare it to Piama’s last two cgs if you really don’t believe me.

Even if you aren’t affected, you need to be able to recognize it without poc having to tell you in order to be a good ally. I wouldn’t want a straight friend that lets people make homophobic comments about me in their presence and then hear them say “it doesn’t affect me so i couldnt tell it was homophobic so thats why i didnt defend you”. If you aren’t able to recognize it then you’ll inevitably repeat the same rhetoric. Racist rhetoric is everywhere and spewed every single day so you cant expect poc to be with you all the time and take you by the hand to tell you whats racist or not. Those are the reasons why you need to learn how to identify it by yourself, be listening to poc, by developing critical thinking skills, by not surrounding yourself with only white people. If not there’ll be more unchallenged asks such as one i saw recently that pinned poc that complained about yet another white route “stupid because they dont get that lovestruck releases routes by demand”. As if we have no concept of nuance.

No one is obliged to accept an apology, especially after what happened. I dont know where you got that idea from, especially when it concerns something that hurts people this deeply. And I didn’t point it out what happened just to be petty, I pointed it out because it isn’t an isolated event but a pattern of behavior of unchecked racist comments. That was simply the worst case: It was handled poorly, considering mod viv herself never apologized and again, swept it under the rug. The apology I saw from mod wrath was vague, didnt address the situation directly, was posted on this blog so no one knew what was going on, and was later deleted. So yeah she can apologize ten times and it still doesn’t mean we have to accept it. Especially if it’s that catastrophic because it looks like its more about saving face rather than feeling remorse, even if she did feel bad. You’re too eager to call it just “a mistake” and pin me as the unreasonable one.

And I want to ask you, have you truly seen with your own eyes an interaction where someone said to the other “if you like vinca you’re racist” and was completely serious?Or have you heard it from someone else saying that they were told that? Because considering that other anon watering down a woc’s criticism of lovestruck as “she doesnt like white people or this blog” then yeah i wouldn’t trust anything else coming from their mouths. People are getting too pressed over the millionth white woman in the app. Hell even if it happened, it’s probably what, one, two people? But you’re lumping all of us together as if its been a wave of saying that. The valid criticism surrounding Vinca is interconnected with Nahara’s release (one of the few dark-skinned women in the app) considering people kept saying they’d rather have a Vinca route when Nahara’s was announced. They’re not even willing to support it just because they want Vinca’s and that sends a message to voltage. So it simply doesnt boil down to “well its a difference in personalities”. Im gonna go as far as to say that if a woc had the same attitude as Vinca, people wouldnt be frothing at the mouth for her or they’d delve into the realm of fetishizing (as some people are bordering the line with Piama). But thats a whole other topic. And since people want to act stupid: all of the white characters in lovestruck are white because voltage made them that way. They could’ve quite easily made them a poc, but they rarely do. Think about what that means then, if youre really trying to defend yourself by saying “well they put out whats popular”

Lastly, you should really evaluate the content and beliefs you put out when racist people are still comfortable following and interacting with you. This is why i want this discussion to be public: your followers need to read this and apply it to themselves. Because considering the amount of anon hate you said you got yesterday towards the other blogger, theres a bunch of your followers who need to get off their phones and learn to care about other people and stop being racist assholes.

Believe me, I’m tired of it as well.

I brought up the anon hate because I didn’t want you to wonder why I was posting your asks in this form.

And no. Piama is not whitewashed. I took a dropper tool and took the color directly from her sprite, and if you’d looked at my blog, you would’ve seen that I sent screenshots as proof in response to that ask. But you obviously didn’t, so I’ll send them here again. (1. Without lighting. 2. With Lighting.)

If you still don’t believe me, you’re welcome to call me on Discord and I’ll share my screen and show you the entire process. And as an artist: You’d be fucking surprised what lighting does to colors.

Well, yes, I need to be able to recognize it indeed. The thing is: I can’t always. I try my best on this, and there will be moments and issues that will come up, mistakes I will make because I’m not perfect and not a machine. And in those moments, I’d love to have a friend that affectionately slaps me and says “JD, that was shit.” So I can apologize and notice it the next time. I have had multiple friends be transphobic to me in certain ways. I’ve informed them about it. They apologized and haven’t done it since. We’re still friends to this day. I do try to educate myself on racism and put in some work. I don’t expect POC to do all the work for me and explain to me how to be an ally correctly, and still - I hope they help me just as I help my cis friends with trans stuff. I can’t magically change all my behaviors and overcome internalized societal racism with the snap of a finger. If I could, I fucking would have already done it multiple times. The way it is, I’m working on it. Again - I’m sorry I didn’t point out the racist comment in the ask. I should’ve done that, and I’ll make sure to do it in the future.

You’re right no one is obliged to accept an apology. You’re right this hurts people deeply. And as I said - Mod Wrath apologized three times, including one on her personal blog which was a lot less vague. Mod Viv also apologized - to the person in question, in private. Just because you didn’t see it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. And the thing is - if you refuse to accept her apology, that’s one thing and fully your right. And the thing is: If an apology is not going to make you forgive her, if ten are not, what do you need in order to forgive? Will you never forgive? Will you always argue it’s going to be an apology to save face when you don’t know the fact she does feel remorse? How will you see that she does?

I did hear the Vinca thing from a friend of mine. Whom I trust. Because seriously, why would you make things like that up? Who would even get the idea? I’m against the idea of believing my friends would lie to me for attention or whatever. And yeah, the criticism of that anon was unfitting - I’ve visited the blog they claimed was doing that and I found nothing of the sorts, so that comment was unfitting unless I missed something. I never intended to say that it’s all of you saying that. I intended to say that some people are handling the issue wrong. I’m sorry it came off that way. I do believe though that it’s people’s full right to say they’d have preferred Vinca over Nahara. I would’ve preferred Vinca. I still read Nahara tho. However, it’s not yours to dictate which routes other people have to support and which not. I will however agree with you that people should give Nahara a chance - it’s quite the sweet story. And I for my part would enjoy a POC Vinca just as much as a white one. (Also, side note, you’re making it appear as if everyone would either fetishize or rage over her, which is very much putting all of the “white” fanbase into the same bag, the same thing you critizised me for earlier. It’s understandable from a psychological point of view, tho, so I’m not gonna comment further.)

Yeah, Voltage makes the characters white, and that’s an issue people can only fix by demanding more POC in the ask posts and comments. Which many do, btw. They put out what is popular indeed, they put out what is demanded, and I fucking demand more POC. I want it. They could’ve made so many LIs POC and they haven’t and I’m fucking unhappy about it too! I’m not even trying to say anything else.

Yes, making this public to arouse thinking is a good policy. The followers need to read this indeed. And we didn’t get anon hate for the other blogger. We got anon hate towards us. Tons. Comments that went as far as telling mods to kill themselves. And while I agree with lots of the things you say - some of the ways you’re acting actively spark this type of hate. There is being loud about the issues you face, and then there is calling people racist assholes based on a comment they made instead of talking to them personally and telling them that’s not okay, giving them the chance to improve themselves instead of always having them stamped as a racist. Just because you’re the one who’s hurt, the one who’s morally correct, does not mean anything you say or do is good behavior. 

You told me I whitewashed Piama when you, with a minute of research, could’ve found proof I didn’t. You obviously wanted the internet to see, maybe hoped I’d get exposed? Could I get an apology for that? And I promise, I’ll accept it because I’m willing to believe you’re a good person.

Summary of everything:

You’re right with lots of things.

I behaved wrong and I’m sorry.

Lovestruck has an issue with racism that we need to change together. 

Together. Without toxic behavior from any side.

- Mod JD

[punkinroses]

Soooo. This part has been a lot of work to try and figure out and while I'm still working on the storyline aspect, I did want to start presenting the characters of the Avatar Lian story/the Zutara grandkid is the Avatar au. Some may play bigger roles than others but it's still important to know the family dynamic of everyone so here we go. And we're gonna start with the first family;

Zutara kids

Fire Lord Iroh: The eldest son of Zuko and Katara, affectionately named after his great uncle. Many assumed with such a powerful namesake and with being the heir to the longstanding dynasty, he would be a Firebender. However, the nation was shocked when he demonstrated Waterbending abilities. This leads to a lot of conflict from other nobles of if he should be the Fire Lord or if that role should be passed onto the next in line. Katara and Zuko were both firm that their son was more than capable of being ruler, no matter his bending ability. He has become a man of resilience, patience and understanding, who wants what is best for his nation, though he has his mothers spirit and will not let others try and treat him as lesser. He also tells the corniest Dad jokes, he got that from both sides of that family. Appearance wise, he actually has shorter, dark brown hair than most fire lords before him but still drops down to his chin. While he wears it in the traditional top knot for political meetings and public outings, if he is just relaxing with his family he likes to keep most of it down with a small part pulled into a ponytail. He has a deep tan that's just slightly lighter than his mothers complexion and deep blue eyes. He favors a lot of his father's facial features, but has Kataras smile. His clothes are primarily reds, but still bears some blue and purple in his clothes.

His wife is Fire Lady Tae, the daughter of a prominent noble family and a Firebender. She's someone who sees the healing the nation needs after spending so much time in a strict and rigid order and falling toeards propaganda, even after her father in laws time as Fire Lord. She and Katara also get rather close. She loves tea and the arts and wants to see her home and family prosper. Iroh knew she was the love of his life when she actually laughed at his super horrible jokes. I imagine that scene actually kinda plays out like the one in Mulan 2, where Ling and TingTing are together and she admits she's embarrassed by her laugh and Ling was like "I just thought you had no sense of humor". Like that scene. She has fair skin and long, wavy black hair with a thick topknot that she keeps a gold decorative comb in, a present from Iroh. Her eyes are a paler gold color. Her outfit is actually one that tends to be more common and subtle, rather than extravagant and the gold comb is the only extravagant jewelry she keeps.

Crown Princess Tomoe is the eldest daughter of their union. She is a nonbender and has chosen to learn how to wield swords, as taught to her by her Grandfather. She is a loving older sister to her younger siblings and is also a big supporter of the arts, like her mother. She has an undercut and keeps her dark brown hair flipped to the side or up in a ponytail to show it. Her eyes are gold and her skin is a lighter olive color. She keeps up with the most up and coming fashion trends and dresses the most stylish out of all of the family, but always keeps to outfits she can move freely in.

The secondborn is more than just a princess. Born on the day that Avatar Aang passed, Avatar Lian is an adventurous Waterbending prodigy. She is extremely close to both of her grandparents and wishes to explore like they did in their youth and has always been considered a free spirit. Her animal guide is a Snow Leopard Caribou named Lumi, who was gifted to her by Sokka. She has long, jet black hair she keeps in a half up ponytail with some locks braided back into the ponytail (I always kinda pictured a more viking hairstyle for her) and blue eyes with gold flecks, and her skin is a bit darker than her sisters. She likes wearing a combination of dark blues, golds and blacks, with certain bits of red that accentuate her outfit. I'm also debating on if she is actually given her grandmother's necklace as a parting gift before she goes and travels.

The only firebender out of his siblings, Prince Roku has always been a wild child. He is a very active young boy who loves practicing his firebending as an extension of himself and playing games. He is also very much a tea snob, like his great great uncle before him. His hair is still shorter, nearing his chin and he's like two steps away from either shaving it or going into the new up and coming hairdye products that have been hitting shelves. He's paler than both of his sisters and is a very light olive skinned boy and he has bright gold eyes. Theres also a scar going through his brow from an accident involving him taking a Dragon Moose for a joyride.

Princess Kya: The youngest daughter of Zuko and Katara, affectionately named after her grandmother. As a child, her fire bending abilities came at a young age and very unexpectedly. Many tried to push her into the role of Firelord, something she very quickly rejected. She has instead found herself a role as a diplomat in Republic City and is helping in efforts to fight poverty in the city and helping improve life not only there, but in the Water Tribes and the Fire Nation. She also has been running an academy with the aid of the White Lotus to teach children fromm all nations and heritages to learn bending, weaponry mastery and philosophy. She has long black hair pinned back with bangs framing her face and she's lighter skinned than her brother, but not by much. Her eyes are a dark gold and she's actually the taller of the two siblings. She has a full tattoo sleeve, with the top part of it being a sun and moon combined and the rest of it being differing things from her two cultures, i.e. a dragon, a wave, water tribe designs and a fire symbol at the wrist.

Kya is someone who never focused on romances and was very dedicated to her own work. She's had a couple of failed relationships but has stopped actively looking for love. She wants to focus on her career.

She does, however, adopt two siblings, Gen and Rohan, who had been orphaned after their parents were killed by one of the gangs that had been forming in Republic City.

Gen is the elder of the two and he is an Earthbender. He's very confident in his abilities and is a bit of a jock. His ego is jokingly and lovingly kept in check by his adoptive mother, but she always encourages him to keep doing his best. He's a bit thickheaded but he is very loyal and he absolutely loves messing with his cousins. Hes got short brown hair that's spiked up a bit, tan skin and emerald green eyes.

Rohan loves messing with his cousins as much as his brother does, but he's a bit more of the subdued sibling. He loves reading and philosophy and finds something poetic in his earthbending, wanting to use it to help build and create. He also has a strong sense of justice and wantd to use his gifts and what he's been taught to be put to good use in Republic City and help find who killed his parents. His brown hair is a bit longer than his brothers, his eyes more a green-gray color.

Edit: sharing the link to the other kids list down here!

Sukka Kids; Taang Kids

[daaziscoolbesties]

i yearn for one(1) thing only, and that is to have a nice, simplistic, cartoonish artstyle. an artstyle that doesnt rely on anatomy, but the "movement" of the drawing, if you get what i mean.

i dont want realistic proportions and traditional colors and basic poses and gradient shading, i want funky lil dudes in funky poses with funky styles littering my sketchbook :( but alas i havent figured out how to develop that kind of style yet, my brain wants anatomy to look nice but also i dont want to draw eyes. i dont want to take time out of my day to learn how to draw lips i want to draw a line that extends past the characters face. i dont want all my characters to have pointy chins with curved cheeks i want their heads to be round and friend-like or full of sharp edges depending on their personalities and styles. i want to give them all not-quite human ears, blob feet, simple faces, but at the same time i want enough detail to convey the story or emotion im trying to tell.

ive spent so much time recently agonizing over how to use 3d model websites, using real-life references and tracing over them for practice, color-picking from real images to try and do realism and failing miserably, but you know whats easier than that? funky little dudes. little dudes who do not care if their legs are too long or their hair is too bouncy. i dont want my characters to look human.

ive spent enough time on the artfight website to realize that most people who classify their characters as "human" have the most basic ass designs (no offense to people who like basic human designs its just not my thing) or its like dnd-medieval style outfits which i cant draw for the life of me (ive tried). again no offense to people who actively enjoy and draw characters like that. i just need my dudes to have that certain,,, off-ness to them. tails are cool. wings are swag (especially if they arent even like,, fully attached,, ), elf ears are so wonderful to me no matter how much theyre overused, horns are so much fun to draw, and colors!! i have no knowledge in the color theory department so this works great for me!! the only thing i really know is dont shade with black, other than that i just colorpick from references usually but i dont want to do that!! i want the colors to hurt people's eyes but in a satisfying way. like the character's design is so nice to look at that you dont mind your eyes hurting a bit. like how im enjoying writing this post even though its 2 am and the brightness on my computer wont go any lower.

and then another thing ive noticed from being on the artfight website is that a lot of people classify their characters that are anthro/have anthro features under humanoids/monsters. like i made a google form to find some people to attack and someone sent me in a character with some sort of animal (wolf? idk) arms and legs. like dude!! peak character design i love her. but me personally? i cant draw that shit, its so hard for me. i tried a while back and its just Not my thing. nothing against furries i just. cant. and i dont want to either.

and i got another submission that i accidentally deleted that was like full anthro/wolf-like like my comrade,,, i cannot draw animals what makes you think i can draw an animal who acts like a human lmao. i can do like. very basic tails, and also animal ears but i cant do the arms and legs and such i just dont know the anatomy, and i know i was talking about how i dont want to care about anatomy but i feel like for anthros you really do need to know at least basic animal anatomy so you know how the limbs look and shit and i dont have that knowledge and dont feel like gaining it.

and then there were some submissions that i absolutely adored. there was one that like, was vaguely human shaped but definitely was not a human. they had a dark-ish lavender colored skin and horns and tusks and like goat ears and a sorta fluffy tail with spikes on it and they had wings and such and they were such a pleasure to draw i love them. and they had a fairly simple outfit too, nothing too complicated. and then i also enjoy object head characters, theyre so neato to me. i got one of those and i really wish i had the motivation to work on it cause it looks so fun.

i want to make funky characters but id have nothing to do with them because the only book i ever tried writing (key word tried - never got past planning it out) had strictly human characters in it, and most of the books i read are humans/humans with powers in situations specific to them so id have no idea what lore to make with the dudes. assuming i have the motivation to make lore and backstory because honestly i just really enjoy character designing its super duper fun.

(side note a song about trucks doing the deed came on just now and its interrupted my flow, apologies).

i only have three actual characters right now. one is an original roleplay oc whos design is literally athletic shorts, an oversized long sleeved grey sweatshirt, long purple hair, and demon horns. the second one is my persona whos design some sorta medival knight outfit kinda thing? but not ugly it looks really cool (idk one of my friends designed it bc i won some contest from him but the drawing was on a super small scale so idrk the details,,,) with a plague doctor mask and crown, and shoulder length wavy brown hair, dyed bright pink at the end. and then my last one im not too comfortable using other places because theyre a character my friend is using in the story hes writing, and thats really the only place theyve been used. but theyre easily my favorite and im already writing a ton so ill talk about them too.

they're a sorta elf species thing from another planet, with pale green skin and pointed ears. they also have a tail, its like,, super thin, but with a feathery bit at the end. probably not the texture of a feather but i dont know how else to describe it. they have short, curly, almost-draco-malfoy-blonde hair that when it gets too long they can put in a man bun. their eyesight is kinda shitty so when they got to earth, they were exploring some supply closets around the airship. drop off area. thing. like airport but for rocketships and also fancier. yeah. they were exploring that area and found a nice big pair of round glasses with grey frames. and they also found a cowboy-style hat and a sharpie so they wrote their name on the underside of the brim of the hat and stole the hat and glasses (but left the sharpie in the supply closet).

yeah theyre my favorite, my absolute beloved, my child, so cool. i want more characters like them but with maybe a bit more snazzier designs. theyre super cool and all but they could have more pizzazz if they werent in a story where its too late to give them more pizzazz. i just want to be able to give my characters thigh-high boots with a bunch of buckles and fluffy hair with tons of accessories crammed in and abnormally large and long ears that can harbor many piercings and horns that can hold rings on them and special little details on their outfits like who knows what but i dont have any characters to do that too, so i have to make them from scratch, which is always hard especially when you have artblock.

and i also have like 17 characters i need to fully draw, line, and maybe color for artfight before august 1st. so i dont know. i have many things to do and plenty of time to do it but instead i spend my time halfway watching repetitive youtube videos that get boring or sleeping all damn day because i stay up too late doing things like this or i just do nothing at all and its tiring and frustrating but i also feel nothing about it like theres no consequence if i dont do it besides you know. not doing it, not gaining that experience, not making something i enjoy.

so i should do it but i dont for whatever reason, i think its called executive dysfunction but im not sure. this post started out very differently than it ended and i said somewhere up there that i was writing this at 2 am but now its almost 3. this is so many words why couldnt i have put this energy into something productive