#not only is he so Gender he's also just. deeply relatable in a specific kind of way

[katabay]

liu sang! I haven't drawn him in forever (I don't think I've posted anything I've drawn of him, now that I think about it) but he lives in my head rent free

bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost

[astriiformes]

Okay as promised earlier, a post about Marty McFly and gender.

The reason I find a trans reading of Marty specifically so compelling beyond some of the superficial things--like the fact that he's smaller and wears a lot of layers and generally looks the way a lot of younger trans men do--is because if you interpret him as trans, there are other parts of his character that become extremely interesting.

Because, like, Marty is a decent guy. I am not the first to comment on the fact that, when compared to a lot of other young, male 80s protagonists especially, he comes across as much kinder & more empathetic, generally a lot more earnest, and less complicit in certain kinds of toxicity. But a huge huge aspect of that is that he is generally pretty respectful of the female characters in the series. Which is pretty noteworthy considering most of the other male characters have some pretty big blips in that department -- George spies on Lorraine, Doc is dismissive of Jennifer and treats women like a mystery to be solved, Biff is, well, Biff.

--And I will say that I could write a completely separate essay on masculinity in Back to the Future in general, because the other male protagonists, at least, do end up having whole character arcs about this (George coming to Lorraine's rescue at the dance and Doc realizing that he has a lot in common with Clara are both genuinely good examples of how men who have certain flaws courtesy of the patriarchy can learn to be better!) But Marty has a totally different arc related to masculinity, that stems from something else entirely, and it's a very interesting contrast!

Marty's problem is that he's insecure about being seen as weak or cowardly, which is why he's so easily goaded into doing dangerous, stupid things just because another guy dared him to (and it's very noteworthy, I think, that it's always other guys). His character arc revolves much more around accepting that it's okay to follow his conscience in those situations, and also learning to let go of other people's perception of him.

So like. You could very easily read him (as was intended) as a young cis man who has generally been raised to stand up for and treat women well but still has some very teenager insecurities. BUT. There is so, so much going with him on if you instead look at him through the lens of transmasculinity. Suddenly what you have instead is a character who probably has personal experiences with misogyny that make him sympathetic towards the women he knows, but who has very complicated, deep-seated insecurities around being seen as "enough" of a man. It explains why being a jerk to women is not only a line he won't cross, but something he actively calls other people out for, while still being deeply entrenched in other toxic ideas about what being a man looks like -- of course a trans Marty would be insecure about being seen weak or less masculine compared to other guys! He's had to fight to be seen as a man in the past, and doesn't know when and where to draw the line!

I just think it's a reading that has so much rich, interesting stuff going on--in part because the Back to the Future movies, as I said in my other post, are actually extremely full of Gender and so Marty is caught up in that already--and I am rotating him in my mind constantly. Do you understand.

[drdemonprince]

can i ask for some sex advice? im a bisexual trans guy, i’ve been with cis women and had hookups with a cis guy where he just went down on me. i’m generally attracted to all genders, but sexually i find myself turned off/repulsed by penises and cum so i’ve only pursued hookups with ppl with vulvas (so far cis women and other ftms) or situations where i don’t have to interact with the penis. totally fine with trans women and femmes who are post-op, etc. i’ve just been worried that i’m gross/transphobic/a chaser? even though im bi i feel like a shitty person for not being into dick.

Hey, thanks for the question. I think it is a good thing to be asking oneself. I think that even if you were to conclude that your attitudes were transphobic, I don't think the solution would be pushing yourself to have sex you didn't want to have or trying to force yourself to "get over" the associations that you have. That won't work, and it's not your fault for having them. What matters is how we treat people, not what fleeting thoughts and emotions we might have privately, which is part of why it is so annoying for cis people to act as if they are persecuted for having a "genital preference" or whatever. The problem isn't their feelings. It's their exclusionary, cruel, often violent actions and the words they express publicly.

I think it's worth contemplating that many trans femme people have absolutely no desire to use their penises during sex, or can't because of various medical issues, and do not produce cum that looks anything like the way most cis men produce cum. How would you feel about a trans woman who does have a penis using a strap-on on you? About you two fisting each other? About you using a hitachi magic wand on her? How do you feel when you see a trans guy with a post-phalloplasty cock? Try to reflect on questions like these with curiosity and not judgement.

Maybe you will explore your feelings and find that there are still barriers; maybe for example you wouldn't feel comfortable going down on someone's penis, but would be happy to be fucked with a strap-on by someone who has a penis, or to fuck them. That's okay. Lots of trans women want exactly that kind of sexual encounter anyway. And lots more are open minded and recognize that T4T sex is experimental and free-floating and doesn't have to involve any specific sex acts. Negotiating these things should be done delicately and respectfully, but it is always fine to say "I don't do [xyz]" or "I don't want to do xyz right now."

I relate more to your question that you might know, albeit from a different direction. I have a lot of dysphoria about having a vagina; though PIV can feel good, what I most picture myself as having in my mind's eye is nothing at all between my legs. I hate receiving oral, as I've talked about a lot, but I'm also dysphoric about and disturbed by giving oral to a person with a vagina. I have also experienced a lot of sexual trauma that involved a (typically cis male) partner forcing or pressuring me to have sex with cis women. That's happened to me many times over the course of my life. It's also made facing any pressure whatsoever to have sex with women (either cis or trans) deeply triggering and upsetting to me.

All of my own personal hang-ups and traumas have left me feeling funnily very much like that one line from Saltburn, "Women are too wet. Men are so lovely and dry."

I do get into my head about it being super transphobic of me sometimes. But I have also had fun, carefree, experimental, gratifying, hot sex with trans men with vaginas. I might not be able to eat them out, but there's lots I can do. I can finger them, put my hands in them, eat their asshole, take their strap, suck their strap-on, kiss them, fondle them, play with their nipples, be fucked alongside them, writhe atop a single hitachi together with them, slap their ass, put a dildo in them, whatever. I just don't want to eat them out or have them eat me out, for the most part.

It would be highly understandable if a trans guy felt invalidated by my feeling that way or didn't want to have sex with me given those limits. that's fine. I understand this stuff is fraught and sucks sometimes. I don't talk about my feelings around this topic publicly often because it is so contentious and I don't want feelings to be hurt. But in my heart I'm comfortable with where I am at. I know which limits I have that seem immovable and I don't really want to push them ever again. Having those limits pushed is what traumatized me. At the same time, I know it's not connected in any way to seeing trans men as lesser than cis men, or as less attractive, and I know it's not a barrier to me having sex with trans men if the moment and our interests both align. I'm not a bad person for feeling this way. It's actually really hard to be trans and to be wired this way. But I'm doing the best I can with it to both grow, and not be an asshole, and also to find fulfillment.

[freakartack]

what made orbulon one of your favorite characters?

Oh my god LOL thats a crazy question. Not because it is crazy to ask, but because it is crazy to answer. I guess i should break this down point by point

Due to my various neurological idiosyncrasies, I have a brain chunk that is specifically dedicated to fucked up little cartoon aliens. I own a frankly embarrassing amount of Marvin the Martian memorabilia and also several collectible items of the cereal called Quisp, which was discontinued in the 1970s*, because it has a little cartoon alien on it. (*it came back on-and-off later and the last time it was discontinued was actually the end of last year, which was very sad for me, the sole Quisp enjoyer in the world.) And yes i am just as insane and anal-retentive about these cartoon aliens as The Big Man Himself. So that was the hook

THEN, I realized that orbulon is not just the typical freaky little megalomaniac alien, but a DEEPLY INSECURE and SURPRISINGLY INTROSPECTIVE freaky little megalomaniac alien. This is important to me for the same reason that I am a fan of the Muppets. His endless internal struggle to not be seen as stupid on a planet full of ants is very compelling to me

Continuing that thought, the fact that despite his dubious motivations he is genuinely enamored with the beauty of both Earth and space really rounds out his character. Not only is he trying his best to connect with the creatures of the Earth after one thousand years of being here and not doing that, but one of his favorite ways to do so is to bring people onto his spaceship and show them the wonders of the cosmos. And I love it every time because on earth he is just a weird thing but when he takes them in his spaceship they are amazed and speechless at the beauty of space...it is like he is letting them into his world, and they can finally see and understand what he sees. Effervescent

Also, the fact that he is so god damn old leads to a lot of fun story opportunities (like it being possible for him to meet the four heroes from ttyd) but also opens the door for some extremely poignant and heart wrenching implications, summed up very subtly by one of my favorite Orbulon quotes:

5. On a similar note, the fact that Orbulon plays it fast and loose with the "alien traits" he has makes it EXTREMELY fun for the biology freak in me to go wild with the speculations. I won't go into it too much here because i've already covered this extensively but just know that this is a very big bullet point.

6. The fact that his luck is constantly in the shitter is very relatable. I like orbulon because things are always happening to him

7. I would be remiss to make a list like this without including his gender. The fact that he shapeshifts so freely for the purposes of both self-expression and disguise is very genderish indeed

8. He's just got a kickass design. The shades that are evocative of both the glassy eyes of a stereotypical grey alien and Men in Black, the amphibian proportions, the awesome wardrobe. The bowling pin head is both inexplicable but also feels effortlessly natural. He's truly got it all. Similarly, the fact that he is a space alien that crash lands onto earth simply because he is shit at driving is such a funny and seemingly obvious direction to take this kind of character, and yet he's the only one I've really seen cash in on that. I like orbulon because things are always happening to him pt. 2

9. We have the same music taste

[likealittleheartbeat]

Rant time: the general atla fandom’s resistance to zukaang highlights a lot of problems in current fandom and fiction. The resistance is about a point around which we refuse imagination and connection. Specifically, we observe fiction as something to gaze at rather than to connect with. So, aang is denied desire because of his age, religiosity, and racially-linked gendered embodiment, which, this conservative portion of the fandom argues, should deny us to relating to or even considering his subjectivity.

“You’re Just A Child”: Aang’s Age

When it comes to shipping aang, suddenly the conversation becomes about the canon--the age gaps, the immaturity, the cultural ties. 12 years old is prime middle school age in the US, the very essence of sexual development. But many fandom members are not engaging with how they felt and experienced that age. Instead, they’re viewing Aang from a separate vantage point and expecting the same mental process from others. These are where the claims of p*do come from when talking about him within shipping. They suggest that engaging with his character is a desire to observe him voyeuristically since many in the fandom are not actually twelve (ignoring the fact that many fandom members are also significantly older than the other characters they adore and offer subjectivity). Their argument continues that it’s not possible to empathize with him. Only objectification is possible, especially in regards to sensuality, as if that is a category has a different process of psychological relating than all others. 

But all this becomes most important for these fandom members when putting him in relationship to the other slightly older characters. These arguments must begin by ignoring the fact that most fanfics and art for the zukaang ship and most ships in the atla fandom are simply disengaged from the canonical ages of the characters. A ton of the works are aged up, and those that aren’t don’t discuss the ages because they are working on the assumption that everyone within their fic are at similar levels of maturity to engage with romantic feelings. At the end of the day, most artists and writers are more interested in exploring the dynamics between richly developed character traits that are pretty unrelated to the character’s ages. Still, ships with Aang, and especially Zukaang somehow receive the most attention for tensions due to the canonical ages (despite the creators disinterest in the topic). Even the Toph ships, which have a canonically younger character with bigger age gaps between her and her partners, don’t receive the same pervasive criticism as the Aang ships.

Avatar Aang: Aang’s Religion and Race

One reason is that he’s perceived as the “pure” cinnamon bun of the series; “pure” as in purile and “pure” as in puritanical. Plenty has been written about purity culture in the fandom, enough that I don’t feel a strong need to elaborate. However, I do want to point to Aang’s role as a religious figure, a monk, in the series. Perceptions crafted through the history of Christianity alongside the practices of many other religions associate religion and celibacy, which I think played into further discomfort with allowing Aang a sexuality. If this is your association, it would counteract Aang’s narrative development of wisdom and self-control to believe he might also be developing sexual maturity throughout the series. Of course, Zen Buddhist philosophies, which were majorly influential in developing the show’s themes and Aang’s character, allow for monks to have sex and get married, and they openly address issues of sex and sexuality. The deeply sexually conservative view held by purity culture then forces Aang, even moreso than other characters, into a de-sexualized pigeon hole.

A desexualized characterization is also a claim hefted onto East Asian men at a stupidly outrageous rate by Western culture. They’re allowed to be cute, mannered, wise, even cool, etc. but when it comes to a kind of subjective sexuality, East Asian men are emasculated (stemming from a deep history of Western colonialism/xenophobia and a specific kind of patriarchal ideology in Euro-America). The pacifistic Buddhist-inspired beliefs he practices especially render him as distinct from the rugged individualist of American masculinity and even the elitist intellectual masculinist of Western European cultures. Can masculinity exist without dominance? Can a relationship exist without antagonistic tension? Sure, we get the fluff ships, but where does that blur into and coexist with the erotic? Aang, as a character, forces the audience to consider the reality of his pain, desire, and strength, despite his refusal to demonstrate that in warfare and courtship. Among what manner would someone demonstrate these inner worlds if they won’t exert them on subjugated bodies? It’s a conflict of worldviews that took shape dramatically during the height of colonization, where the colonized were often blamed and maligned for their failures to resist colonization. These beliefs then developed into stereotypes about the masculinity of different races. The stereotypes that have held on from colonialism alongside of unique cultural ideas about masculinity make Aang a hard figure for people indoctrinated into these beliefs to appreciate.

Aang’s Gender Expression

The fandom is forced to contend with his age, his colonized subjectivity, and, on top of all that, he’s denied the authority socially ascribed to his gender. Toph is the ‘tough guy,’ which Western audiences equate with more maturity, when what it actually equates to in the Euro-American psyche is masculinity. This correlation between masculinity and maturity allows Toph to escape the claims that make Aang an especially dangerous object for fanworks. Aang’s softness and passivity correlate him to femininity in this traditional perspective. Essentially, for the atla fans wearing their purity culture lenses, Aang, if sexualized, is feminine and therefore immature and therefore defenseless to predators. What’s wild is the way the Ember Island Players episode evokes and predicts these kind of reactions with its virginal damsel-in-distress actress depiction of Aang (”My hero!”).

But the zukaang ship really lends a microscope to the matter, because, in every demographic way, Aang’s character is denied the structural trappings of power within the relationship.This means that even those inclined to appreciate softer ideas about masculinity and/or more empowered ideas of feminine and colonized subjectivities can feel reticent to engage with the ship. Within an identity politic framework, the zukaang ship dynamics render Aang submissive: he is the colonized subject in relation to a colonizer; he is the more traditionally feminine partner; he’s more pious; he’s more passive; he is canonically younger. One might go even farther to suggest all of these submissive qualities make him seductive to Zuko in the narrative as he abandons his own nation for Aang, placing Aang in a trope familiar to both gender narratives within Euro-Christian traditions (the Biblical seductresses, like Eve and Jezebel, or more recently, Lolita) and colonial narratives (see, “Indian Princesses” or “Dragon Ladies”). If we go deeper into the archives we’ll also find colonial p*derast narratives (if you have a strong stomach, you can look up Andre Gide, as an example).  All these possible features make the relationship especially threatening to modern sensibilities. 

Now, I want to emphasize that there are legitimate reasons for the connections that we draw which ignite this fear. The article, “A Modern History of Groomer Politics” by Jesse Walker, lays out some of these complicated and hard-to-read histories, which illustrate how gay and queer rights (especially on the side of those assigned male at birth) became associated with p*dophilia.  The Homoerotics of Orientalism by Joseph A. Boone is another read that lays out why people are especially sensitive to age gaps within queer colonial contexts. Suffice it to say, to engage with the zukaang ship requires a deft touch not simply to avoid these histories and tropes but, as seen in many of the fandoms works, to challenge them. Still, the associations trigger reactions for people before they can process any of the actual content.

But even outside the zukaang ship, there is a sense that Aang’s gender expression and sexuality are so much more queer (even the Kataang ship, in its heterosexuality, is perceived as transgressive to the romance genre in comparison to the more traditional Z*tara ship because many people find it challenging to imagine Katara’s attraction to Aang and feel so much more drawn to relationships built around hierarchical colonial relationships rather than relationships that ignore the colonizer entirely). He’s inherently disruptive to the gender expressions that are considered acceptable in western tradition, especially by the hero of the story.

Within the context of the zukaang ship, Aang’s character becomes the most queered, though, and I think that’s deeply uncomfortable for a portion of fandom. They don’t know how to allow someone subjectivity who uses docility as his strength to grow and face the world rather than aggression. Instead, for them, Aang’s docility traps him within a perpetual childhood (or, at most, a eunuch-like domestic role for the queen, Katara). Even as they allow themselves to alter every other aspect of the fiction they love, they are at a loss to handle and develop his character in their works. His youth, his race, and his imperfect saintliness, are all upheld and braided together within the confines of purity culture to argue against the morality of rewarding him romantic and subsequently sexual relationships, and, at its worse, to depict him at all.

[yanderes-galore]

oooooo last time requests were open i meant to ask for Daenerys general headcanons but ended up forgotting about it, so i'd like to request them now!

Sure! I did what research I could so this is a more of a general look at behavior rather than any specific plot.

Yandere! Daenerys Targaryen Concept

Pairing: Platonic -> Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Violence, Slavery mention, Delusional behavior, Isolation, Oblivious yandere, Protective/Possessive behavior, Forced companionship/relationship.

Daenerys, while I have not finished GOT, would actually be an intimidating yandere without meaning it at times.

After all, she's a Targaryen who is the daughter of The Mad King.

Targaryen madness is no doubt dormant within her and may show up later in her obsession.

Not only that, but she has three dragons.

Three.

At this point, dragons were thought to have been extinct.

But here's Daenerys with not one, but three.

While she is polite and well-spoken, she knows how to use violence to get others to listen to her.

In fact it seems her only knowledge of politics happens to be rather naive.

Not everyone's going to like her, and her response to that is dragons.

Which... Isn't far off from her heritage.

It would be easy for Daenerys to keep her obsession by her side.

While Drogon is her most loyal dragon... She still has Viserion and Rhaegal.

Poor you, a person either from Essos or Westeros, has never seen a dragon.

Drogon is the dragon who seems to reflect Daenerys' feelings the most.

He's her chosen mount and is often her protector.

I imagine Daenerys met you after freeing you in Essos or even just meeting you in Westeros.

Although, the Essos scenario makes more sense as Daenerys cared deeply for slaves.

That was why her main goal was to free slaves in Essos... but since Westeros has no slaves, gaining their favor is difficult.

Daenerys could view her obsession as a friend... or maybe even a lover later.

Despite her intimidating appearance, she's oddly caring.

Her obsession may trust her somewhat... but her dragons are a glaring reminder of how much power she wields.

She's still ruthless and narrow minded.

She's naive and views things in black and white.

So while she's kind with you... You've no doubt seen what she does to those who disobey her.

Unintentionally, Daenerys would make you scared of her and only compliant since you're fearful.

Which she then takes as acceptance, since I can see her as a delusional yandere.

After all, you act so nice around her!

You seem to care for her well-being, which she isn't used to.

Daenerys has never known a true home...

But with her obsession, she feels a sense of stability.

Meanwhile you either respect her as just a leader or are scared of her.

Targaryens are infamous, after all.

Daenerys would want to keep her darling by her side all the time, often asking for advice from them.

She really wants to relate to and understand her obsession.

I can see a lot of her toxic behavior as being 'accidental'.

Like... She's oblivious to the fact that what she's doing is wrong.

She thinks she's considering your feelings, but isn't.

She really is oblivious.

She thinks you being beside her will bring you freedom.

In reality, she's just caging you and not knowing it.

She doesn't understand when she hugs you, vents to you, or even makes moves on her obsession...

That you might be fearful of her.

To her it just means you love her.

She feels you and her belong with one another, often confiding in you.

If we assume dragons reflect a Targaryen's feelings... Drogon, at the very least, may also be attached.

The black dragon often views you fondly, seeing how you're always close to Daenerys.

If Daenerys felt threatened or upset about someone around you...

There's a dragon who will be upset.

Rhaegal and Viserion may not be as attached... but will still step in if Daenerys expresses distress.

Daenerys expresses protective behavior.

In fact, she's also possessive as a Targaryen, due to their bonds with the beasts.

She may also be scared to lose you since she's used to losing people.

She's lost lovers, friends, and those she thought she could trust.

Betrayal is common in her life.

So even in her affection, be it on purpose or not, you can notice her being tense.

Like it's a subtle threat or claiming of you.

Daenerys wants loyalty and tries to strengthen your bond.

She may even insist on you calling her 'Dany'

She has you as a servant but doesn't view it as treating you less than her.

Especially when she begins to feel more fond of you, seeing you like a crush.

Daenerys would not understand if you tried to flee or distanced yourself.

She wouldn't think she's the issue.

She'd assume someone else is lying to you, trying to make you leave her.

Which she'd then promptly have them burned like they did some act of treason.

Even if said person did nothing wrong.

Daenerys seems manipulative since she's so delusional.

She only gets worse once she gets to Westeros and becomes more involved with battle.

You can imagine she would be a complete tyrant when he begins to lose dragons.

Yet the entire time, she doesn't see her actions as wrong both politically and with you.

She doesn't think she's holding you hostage.

Yet she also refuses to see you go with anyone else.

She wants you to be loyal to only her.

You can't express many concerns either, as her dragons are always nearby.

She's delusional and wouldn't understand why you want to leave her.

Would you rather be with the Lannisters? The Starks? The people who want her dead?

No, she won't let that happen.

If she deems you a traitor, I imagine she'll just lock you away.

You can have your freedom once you accept her.

She isn't going to give up on you.

You're one of her only friends, only companions...

She loves you.

If anyone tries to take you from her, she'll prevent it.

Anyone you know and love that isn't her will be burned if it means you'll stay hers.

Selfish? Yes.

Yet she promises if you stay by her, she'll give you anything, you'll be free...

But Daenerys was always a hypocrite trying to defy her true innate nature, wasn't she?

[offorestsongs]

OC INTRODUCTION ❣ LYSANDER (ver. 2.0)

"Ah, good seeing you! I was just making soup. Do you want some? It's alright, I can share."

The infamous Ramshackle Prefect. Despite having a reputation of always being where the trouble is, he's actually a pretty calm, quiet person who usually stays out of action until he's pushed directly into it. Suffers from amnesia; his main drive is his intense desire to find new friends and family.

BASIC INFORMATION

full name 🌼 Lysander [last name redacted] nicknames 🌼 Prefect, Lys, Shrimpy/Krill, Monsieur Trickster -> Monsieur Fleur species 🌼 just the most normal human guy imaginable height 🌼 162 cm age 🌼 19 y/o birthday 🌼 [redacted] gender 🌼 trans male (he/him) sexuality 🌼 gay man hometown 🌼 normal human world (the UK specifically) dorm 🌼 Ramshackle class 🌼 1-A club 🌼 none (honorary Pop Music Club member; he doesn't have any musical talents, he's just here for the gossip) favorite subject 🌼 animal linguistics dominant hand 🌼 left talent 🌼cooking hobby 🌼 gardening, embroidery favorite food 🌼 mushroom soup least favorite food 🌼black coffee pet peeve 🌼people being in the kitchen when he's cooking

PERSONALITY

Usually standing on the sidelines and not speaking much unless spoken to, Lysander tends to get overlooked by others. If not, others may think him to be anti-social and unapproachable; his usual grave expression certainly doesn't help his case. However, it cannot be further from the truth.

Lysander is a kind-hearted person who deeply cares for others and is always willing to put their well-being above his own, often to a unhealthy degree. He hates being lonely and desperately wants to have friends, but his quite isolated upbringing didn't give him much of a chance to learn how to properly socialize with others. While he's not exactly shy, it's hard for him to make the first step. He's never quite sure how to approach other people or maintain relationships with them. The fact that he's not exactly a great conversationalist doesn't help him - he feels like he's never learned how to properly talk to people and so he second guesses his every word, worried that he had once again missed an important social cue, which he's prone to doing. In turn, he considers talking quite tiring and definitely prefers listening to others.

Famously bad at saying "no" to people, even when he knows he will regret the decision later; he's just too afraid that refusing to help others will make people hate him and he can't stand seeing his friends inconvenienced. Feels responsible for other people's problems, which probably stems from the fact that he was forced to care for his entire house ever since he was very young. Not that suddenly having to deal with a bunch of traumatised teenagers helps with that.

Really sensitive and emotional, a hopeless romantic at heart, and also, unfortunately, really prone to stress. In crisis situations, his usual response is freeze.

Not used to having much free time, he's always busing himself with something. If it's not cleaning Ramshackle then it's tending to his garden or helping his classmates with their homework or working shifts at the Mostro Lounge. No matter what it is, he simply cannot sit still. He's highly independent and while he does everything to help others, he hates getting help from anyone and tries to do everything by himself. Refusing help is about the only time he will firmly stand his ground and say no.

BACKSTORY

He would love to know as well! The past comes to him in flashes, often triggered by sensations related to the memory. What he had remembered so far doesn't particuraly make him want to go back.

He remembers living in a big, old house, not that different from Ramshackle. He remembers his bedroom, spending long, empty days there, looking out the window. He doesn't remember anything about his parents, just his grandma. She's a looming, dreaded presence in all of Lysander's memories. Any potential siblings or relatives - he doesn't remember anything about them either. Maybe he never had any.

But most imporatntly - he remembers the deep, overwhelming sense of loneliness that seemed to follow his every step.

RELATIONSHIPS

Grim: “He's a bit horrible sometimes, but he's my kitty! Ace says I enable him too much and maybe that's true, but honestly I don't know what I would do without him.”

Riddle: “Poor boy. He was quite horrible to me in the beginning, but…I don't really blame him. There's something about him that makes me almost relate to him, you know? I try to meet up with him for tea when I can. He's a quite good companion once you get to know him.”

Ace: “Honestly, I never thought I'd be friends with somebody like him. Not in a bad way! But he's just so bold and brazen, I wish I could be more like him… He won't stop calling me an old man though…”

Deuce: “He's just such a darling! I can see he's always trying his best, so I try to help him out with his studying when I can.”

Trey: “He’s a sweetheart! And he knows so much about baking! I didn’t have much time to indulge in making sweets before but he’s always willing to share some advice as long as I help him out in the kitchen, which is so nice.”

Cater: “Cater was actually one of the first friends I’ve made here. Don’t get me wrong, I love Ace and Deuce, but it’s nice to have somebody closer in age to converse with. And it can be confusing when I’m new at school while everyone seems to already know everyone, but he always knows all the rumors so I don’t feel lost with him.”

Leona: “He’s a bit scary but I know he has a good heart deep down. Not good enough to let me pet his ears though…”

Ruggie: “Sometimes I feel bad for him. It seems that life hasn’t been kind to him, and he’s always working so hard! Sometimes I cook too much so I can give the leftovers to him - it’s the best I can do.”

Jack: “He’s always so serious but he’s such a sweet boy. Sometimes I go to Spelldrive matches just to cheer him on, though I’m still not quite sure if I even understand how the sport works.”

Azul: “I know some people don’t trust him but he was always nice to me! When he saw that I’m struggling with money, he offered me a job, which I think is awfully nice of him. He pays me fairly and I think that’s all that matters.”

Jade: “He’s actually quite nice! He knows a lot about different flora and he’s always willing to talk about it, too. We don’t really spend much time together but I love listening to him when I can.”

Floyd: “I- I don’t want to be mean, but there’s just something about him that makes a shiver run down my spine. I prefer to not be alone with him if I can.”

Kalim: “What a darling! He’s always so sweet and nice to me, it’s a delight to be around him. I just wish he’d stop offering he’d share some of his family riches with me… I’m running out of ways to refuse, which is quite awkward.”

Jamil: “We’re not really close but I do respect him a great deal. I wish I could help him and Kalim somehow, but I guess some things are outside even my capabilities.”

Vil: “He’s really intimidating, I used to be a bit afraid of him. But he’s actually really sweet once you get to know him! He has helped me a lot with many things and I’ll forever be grateful to him. I think he’s one of my best friends, though I’m not sure if he thinks the same about me…”

Rook: “Oh- I- Well- Um. Yes. He’s quite nice, isn’t he? And he’s pretty… uh, a pretty good friend! Yes! We’ve been spending a lot of time together recently and- I don’t think I’ve ever felt the way I feel around him. Quite mortifying.”

Epel: “Ah, I do understand him a lot. I too often struggle with not feeling like I’m a man enough, as stupid as it is. I wish I could offer him some guidance, but I’m not really qualified for that.”

Idia: “I’m not really sure how I feel about him. We don’t really spend much time together and truth be told, I usually have no idea what he’s talking about. Cater said that’s because I touch too much grass, whatever that means.”

Ortho: “The sweetest boy! He’s always such a joy to be around, sometimes I wish I could steal him from Idia… Don’t tell him that!”

Malleus: “I know well how it is to not have any friends, so I’m always happy to offer him company. We seem to understand each other and he never expects me to talk a lot which is awfully sweet of him.”

Lilia: “He’s a bit eccentric and a bit intimidating, but I don’t mind him. In fact, I’ve often come to him for advice. He seems to know a lot about life for a student.”

Silver: “Like Malleus, he simply lets me sit in comfortable silence with him, which I really appreciate. I really hope we can be closer friends someday.” Sebek: “His dedication to Malleus is really admirable, but I do think this boy needs more friends. Not me, apparently. I don’t think he likes me much, even though I never get in his way.”

TRIVIA

the only other time he will say no to people is when they try to help him with cooking; he has a very particular way of doing things in the kitchen and hates when other mess up what he considers his most sacred space

a big animal lover, especially when it comes to cats - he'll try to pet every stray cat he sees on his way

he's very afraid of losing his memories again - because of that, he started keeping a journal where he writes down the important details of his new life. he carries it with him everywhere

he's autistic, though he was never officially diagnosed. his grandma was more the "vaccines cause autism" type than "take the child in your care to see a specialist"

almost always feels cold, which is why he's usually bundled in thick sweaters

doesn't like throwing things away, which means that Ramshackle is always full of usueless but sentimental trinkets

he's nearsighted. his eyesight is actually pretty bad - anything past the distance of his outstreched hand is a blurr to him

feels very insecure about his height and so he always wears shoes with heels

his hair magically magically turned pink after getting isekaied

tends to call people "darling" and "sweetheart" a lot

WRITING

headcanons; lysander fun facts! lilyarrow ship intro lilyarrow headcanons: phones orange peel theory

fics; stolen affections flirting tactics cat and mouse romantic secrets heart-shaped locket flirty prompts ask game 1 flirty prompts ask game 2 rapunzel/fairy tale AU

CARDS

SR Tsumsitter SR Tropical Wear SR Sleepwear [fan event] SR Music Weeks [fan event]

dividers.

[writerinturmoil]

Heartstopper Season 3 Reaction

Just watched Heartstopper Season 3, and I would like to talk about it. (Note: This post contains spoilers.)

This season nearly wrecked my emotions. I cried, I laughed, I held my breath. It dealt with some heavy topics, such as mental health, eating disorders, and grief. Also, I related to some of the themes and topics very strongly.

First, let's look at the topic of grief.

Throughout this season and the last, Tao deals with the loss of his father. He also fears losing the people in his life whom he loves. I can relate. As a teen, I lost my grandma, someone I connected with on a deep, personal level. Instead of clinging to those I love as Tao does, I did the opposite. I kept people at a distance for fear of getting hurt by letting them into my life. It took several years of working through the grief and processing my emotions to get over the loss. It wasn't a loss as profound as losing a parent (I couldn't imagine.), but it was the first loss I experienced. It's great to see how much progress Tao has made in these two season. I also like that the show didn't rush through the healing process. Getting over grief doesn't take days, it takes years. And twenty-five years later, I still miss my grandma from time to time.

In addition, I related to the Aro and Ace representation in this show. It's not perfect, but it's a start. 🪼

I like the scene on the beach between Charlie and Isaac. When Charlie doesn't know what aromantic is, Isaac tells him to Google it. That's the same thing I tell people when they don't know what AroAce is. Like Issac, nine times out of ten, I don't feel in the mood to give people a "vocabulary lesson". I'll only explain what AroAce is to medical professionals or family members.

I also like the scene at the zoo where Isaac comes out to his friends as AroAce. It resonated with me deeply and was succinctly written. If only I could express myself as clearly as that, nobody would misunderstand me ever again.

I was disappointed that the ferris wheel scene between Charlie and Tori was altered from the graphic novel, but I understand the reason why it was done. I'm glad we got more from Tori this season. And if there's a season 4 (fingers crossed), hopefully we get even more character development. Maybe even resolve some of her mental health issues. Depression?

Speaking of character development, I like the growth of Imogen. She's slowly finding herself and discovering who she really is. Working though all the messiness of societal expectations vs reality. I truly hope she finds her authentic self.

Another character that needs more development is Isaac. Now that he's worked through his sexuality, maybe we'll get more of his personality. I want to know what his family situation is like. If he has any hobbies other than reading. And what his future hopes and dreams are. He's my favorite character, yet I barely know anything about him.

Last character that I need to know more about is Mr. Farouk. I like his kind yet serious personality. I'd like to know more about his past and special interests. I'd like an entire episode dedicated to this stern but tender character.

Next, let's move on to the trans issues raised in this season.

I like that they included nonbinary representation, for I'm nonbinary myself, specifically agender. In addition, I feel that they handled Darcy's coming out as nonbinary extremely well. Plus, there's Felix. This trans identity is sorely lacking in media, and we definitely need more representation.

Speaking of trans representation, I like that we got to explore Elle's gender dysphoria and the discrimination that she faces. That scene at the radio station was executed so acutely and poignantly. When the interviewer started in with the trans questions, my heart nearly sank into the pit of my stomach. How could anyone think those appropriate questions to ask? Especially given the fact that Elle is a teenager, and this is her fist interview. My heart goes out to her, and while watching that scene, I wanted nothing more than to give her a big hug.

Now, let's move our focus onto the mental health issues covered in this season.

It's good that we got some accurate representation of anorexia and OCD.

Most shows only depict anorexia nervosa affecting teenage girls and young women. It's good getting the message out there that boys can suffer from this disorder as well. It also addresses the fact that not all eating disorders stem from body dysmorphia. Some develop as a result of mental illness or neurodevelopmental conditions, such as schizophrenia, OCD, autism, or sensory processing disorder.

Most shows depict those with OCD counting the number of times they turn on or off a light switch or cleaning obsessively. Some with OCD may do these behaviors, but they're not a prerequisite. People with OCD have varied experiences and presentations. The commonality between all of them being obsessions and compulsions in the form of obtrusive thoughts or harmful behavior, such as self-harm or suicidal ideation. Even though I feel this show does a good job with OCD representation, it could still be expanded upon. They could really get into the obsessions and compulsions, and showcase the ramifications these have on Charlie's life. There's a particularly poignant scene in the novella This Winter. I understand it could not be included due to time constraints, but I hope something like this is included in the future.

I'd also like to see some discussions around neurodivergent conditions, such as autism, ADHD, or AuDHD. I know that Bradley Riches who plays James McEwan has autism. Perhaps, James could have it as well? It could help dispel some of the stereotypes surrounding these conditions. For autism, most people think Sherlock Holmes or Sheldon Cooper. For ADHD, most people think Bart Simpson. And in a show or movie, never did I see someone who has both like me.

Lastly, my final thoughts.

If only I had this show when I was a teenager in the late nineties/early noughties, I would’ve had the words to describe my experiences much sooner. It wasn't until uni when I had access to the internet that I discovered the words AroAce and agender.

Lastly, as an autistic, I'd hate the only form of communication being a landline phone. I have a hard time understanding someone if I can't see their facial features or body expressions. Also, the person I'm talking to always sounds like they're either chewing food or speaking in a foreign accent. That's why I prefer to text or dm my friends and family. I guess if I was in that clinic seeking treatment, I'd just have to write them letters or postcards.

Well, that's all I have for today. Until next time, take care and stay curious.

[generational-atrophy]

Hello!! Can I request France, England and Germany with a s/o who is demissexual (you know, ace spectrum, need deep conection, takes a long time to want sex etc) and haven't had sex yet and feels very insecure?

(France, England, and Germany X Reader) Demisexual S/O!

(Gender Neutral) Headcanons ~ A/N sorry this is shorter its very specific. Anyway happy pride month any queer related requests r gonna get fufilled first for a while!!!

Trigger Warning: Mentions of sexual subjects, but no real discussion.

This is absolutely NO problem for Francis. He is like, the number one boundary respecter. Before he initiates any physical contact, even little things like holding your hand, he asks for your permission. And if you say no, there are no questions asked. He would NEVER ask anything of you that you don’t 100% want.

Once you tell him about your insecurities, he freaks out. His beloved? Feeling bad for doing nothing wrong? No! Not on his watch! Anytime you bring up feeling you missed the time were it was acceptable to have a first time, he’s immediately batting that thought down and insisting that “he’s been around for thousands of years, he knows a little more about acceptable timeframes.” Whenever you feel especially ‘broken,’ he’s there to hold you close and whisper affirming words all night. Your sexuality and your experiences with it say nothing about your character! Feeling safe and comfortable is more important than doing what society expects of you! He loves you no matter what.

He’s totally willing to lay his dignity down on the line to defend you about that too. If someone made fun of you for being a virgin, he is totally willing to shout, “I WAS VIRGIN UNTIL 121 SO IF YOU’RE TEASING ONE OF US, TEASE ME!” which is… embarrassing for the both of you, but it’s better than nothing. Also, anyone trying to say demisexuality is invalid is getting a death glare as he physically moves you away from them.

Arthur has always had problems with that kind of intimacy, so it’s quite a relief to him that you aren’t super into it. He’s perfectly happy with the way things are now, don’t worry. Take as much time as you need.

He might be a little surprised when you tell him you’re a virgin, but he doesn’t judge you at all! No matter how old you are! It doesn’t change how he sees you in the slightest. If anything, it’s a good thing. It means you haven’t been comfortable doing that and haven’t forced yourself to. Which is great! It’s a little embarrassing, but he’s always been quite… promiscuous… and that’s often gotten him into pretty terrible situations. He’s glad you haven’t had to deal with all that.

Despite the fact that he is godawful at communication, he wouldn’t pressure you into anything you’re uncomfortable with. Even if he doesn’t understand, he won’t say anything about it (well, anything more than an “oh. ok!”)

Also, he’s known plenty of people throughout history that barely had sex. It’s totally normal. Anyone saying that demisexuality is a new concept is dead wrong.

Personally, I strongly believe that Ludwig is on the asexual spectrum himself! But regardless of whether that exactly is true, he has no problem with a relationship that lacks that aspect. It’s quite hard for him to get comfortable around anyone, so he’ll need as much time as you do anyway.

Seriously, don’t feel bad about still being a virgin. He was a virgin for a long, long time (longer than you’ve been alive, probably) and his life changed very little because of it. It’s always better to be sure you want something rather than just doing it because of social pressure.

Everyone has their timeline <3 Like, he didn’t learn to read until he was like, 20, but would you hold that against him? No. So don’t feel guilty for not experiencing that yet.

He won’t ask you anything about it either. Only if you come to him first asking for it will he ever initiate anything like that. Holding hands and staring deeply into each other's eyes satisfies him perfectly. (He was raised Catholic, cut him a break.)

And if anyone tries to invalidate your sexuality, he can always pull the “I’m hundreds of years old and have been experiencing this kind of thing the whole time. You’re just ignorant” card. He’s very happy to!

[hopeymchope]

Honestly I always saw Chihiro as more of an allegory for trans men more than anything else, in terms of how their storyline was treated. If there were ever an international/American live-action adaptation, I’d expect Chihiro to be explicitly adapted as such, television being television. Same with confirming Hiro is black (which apparently is a controversial idea in part of the fandom, at least on Twitter)?

Note: I'm reasonably sure that this refers to the first point I made in this long answer.

ON CHIHIRO FUJISAKI:

Oy... I find that the smartest move when it comes to Fujisaki is to treat them like the first two rules of Fight Club :P

I love the character, they're a sweetheart, but — as this anthology story accurately stated — the second you refer to Chihiro as either male or female, you're going to cause a, um, "heated debate." (Which is putting it mildly. It can swiftly explode into an outright war.)

It's the touchiest subject in the fandom. People who interpret the character strictly either way tend to not want to hear from the other side and have DNI warnings on their blogs and bios and all kinds of shit. I think this stems in part from just how personally people relate to Chihiro. They can be a very personal source of comfort for people with specific experiences.

Depending on how you interpret them, you might relate to the pressure Fujisaki's under to conform to normative gender roles/expectations OR their difficult experience with secretly being trans and being unable to share their truth.

If we look at the game strictly as it's written in the text, the character is about the former issue. But Danganronpa was released in 2010 into the Japanese market — not only a place where LGBT rights are well behind where they stand in America, but also two years before the issue of trans rights really started entering mainstream discourse in the West. So it's not out of line to suspect Chihiro's a stealth allegory about the trans experience.

AHHH, but the layers of the argument run even deeper! Because even among people who interpret the character as being trans, there's the separation of those who see Fujisaki as transfem vs. those who see them as transmasc. The former seems to be the more popular interpretation among the "Chihiro is trans" crew.

I keep using "them" and "they" because I just don't even wanna be in this debate. Clearly. Shit, I've never done any fics involving the character because then I'd probably have to say "he" or "she", and I just CANNOT. Too dangerous. I wish this wasn't the case, but this is where we're at.

HOWEVER... !

I do have ONE version of Chihiro Fujisaki who I think I can make a strong case for being defined a certain way. It's a post I've started to write twice and never had the guts to finish because, y'know, Chihiro fucking Fujisaki = first two rules of Fight Club. Suffice to say there's ONE particular "official" AU where I think there's an especially strong argument for one specific take on the character.

Maybe one day I'll break down that theory. Maybe. And then lose like a couple hundred followers the next day or something :P

ON YASUHIRO HAGAKURE:

I don't think I've ever heard/seen it posited that Hagakure could be interpreted as black before now, but I find the suggestion intriguing. I can definitely see where you're coming from. I think that'd work really well. Although then again? Maybe it's not much of a compliment to make Hagakure representation of black people in the DR1 cast, given that he's kind of a moron. :P

Japanese people are born into a variety of skin tones that can range from pretty deeply tanned to practically white as a sheet, but the typical beauty standard enforced in the culture is that the ideal = the whitest, most porcelain skin. "Whitening" products continue to be a major part of the beauty industry there today, which I think is a sad situation. So I always just assumed that Hagakure (and by extension, also Asahina and Owari) were representing the under-appreciated/put-upon darker-skinned contingent of the Japanese population.

But you know, when you take his hairstyle into account? It becomes VERY easy to interpret Hagakure as being of some African descent.

Furthermore, he actually looks a little darker-skinned in DR3 than he does in his DR1 sprites, which further fuels that potential.

It does seem logical to me that, if some international adaption were to be made? They'd probably take these darker-skinned characters as an opportunity to represent multiple races/nationalities. Black, Latino, etc.

[leporellian]

i think it 100% depends on exactly what it is we're trying to do with the production...

like IF i'm going to see a fairly lighthearted take on it or a 'there's something for everyone' type show... yeah cutting it is best tone-wise because otherwise the whiplash between 'show for everyone :)' and 'God let me tell you about these Fucking women' is enough to kill a wildebeest with cranial tension. also i am of the opinion we should be allowed to change the magic flute in whatever way we want, just like in general (to a degree far more drastic than most operas), and there's some pretty interesting and creative ways to cut the sexism or explain what exactly is sarastro's deal.

IF a production is trying to interrogate the work or ask why we still do it or any other sort of darker takes on the whole thing, then i'm more fine about it staying in- that is, IF the production can do something smart about it. which is a very big IF and honestly not one i trust many people with.

with Song of the Sky i just cut out nearly all of the gender-related conflict entirely. this is actually one of the reasons i wanted to do the magic flute with animals- specifically cats- and not something more person-adjacent. like they're cats man it doesn't matter. tamino and pamina don't fall in love, monostatos doesn't have a thing for pamina, the queen and sarastro being enemies has nothing to do with their gender, the only real trace of it is papageno and papagena and even then given she's dead before the story even starts they won't be going very far. (note: i am also bad at writing romance.) sarastro's council is gender-neutral; the character of the speaker is female. i don't want to be dealing with writing misogyny when the focus of SotS is elsewhere and too many animal books are like weirdly focused around it.

i am a believer in both sarastro and the queen sucking, and i like it when productions make it clear that they're both bad- or at least deeply, deeply flawed people. but you can still get that dynamic across without including the racism and sexism. sarastro still kidnaps pamina and tears her apart from her mother just so he can offer 'his side of events'. he still is fully willing to let tamino and pamina die if they can't become what he wants them to be (with the text implying that sarastro would absolutely subject papageno to this fate also and is simply choosing to spare him). he still goes about parading that he knows everything and that everything he does is correct, and finally i dunno i feel like the fact two different people nearly kill themselves over something caused by his bullshit kind of makes the point that Something is Wrong about this Man! like you don't need the misogyny when all that is happening!

(always so crazy to me that BOTH sarastro and the queen are like, kind of sacrificing tamino. like WHY would the queen send tamino if she can clearly just walk right on over herself like she does later, and why does she claim she's 'too weak' to do it. it feels like she's deliberately sending him because that way he'd die instead of her. then you got sarastro and his 'either you say i'm always right abt everything or you Die' thing. like god it's sad. tamino!!! tamino you laika coded bitch!!! you're not escaping the fucking cycles!!!!!! God Fuck! anyway.)

finally: i DO think productions should always work to cut the racism around monostatos's character and to reinvent much of him every time around, because i think that's an entirely different power dynamic at hand than the misogyny thing and can't be made into a 'haha! they are being proven wrong!' thing like the sexism can.

@leporellian

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

I've been really into Stray Kids (the band) lately. I am listening to their songs a lot and have watched many of their music videos, performances etc. - so many that my Youtube recommendations are 100% Stray Kids-related now. If you wonder why I am telling you this, it's because I decided to turn this blog into a K-Pop Stan account.

Gender stuff is important but I'm just much more passionate about Lee Felix's deep voice right now and I hope we can embark on this new journey together... and yes, I am obviously kidding about this.

The real reason is that he got me thinking about gender stuff.

More specifically, my Youtube recommendations did. They show me a lot of fan-made videos - and a surprising amount of them center around physical touch. "10 minutes of Stray Kids being cuddlebugs", "7 minutes of Stray Kids kissing each other", things like that.

You may think "Oh, cute" or "Yikes, problematic" right now. When I look into the comments of such videos, the latter one seems to be the reaction of many people - and they have good points. It's easy to forget that band members are actual people who are co-workers in real life and that a high "fan demand" of physical contact between them may put real pressure with real consequences on them. There is also the obvious issue of ignoring cultural differences and pushing American standards on them (regarding how much and which kinds of touch are "normal" etc.).

With all that said: those videos are evidently very popular - and I don't think it's fair to dismiss it as nothing but voyeuristic stalker behavior. Their popularity is a sign that it fulfills some kind of need. Next to the comments calling these videos out, there are also plenty of people talking about how warm and happy and calm these videos make them feel. And honestly, after watching a few myself, I do see the appeal. Watching them be openly affectionate with each other is a feel-good thing - and a big part of that is probably that they are all men.

The cultural differences come in play there. The unspoken rule in my country seems to be that men do not touch each other unless it's in either a violent or an explicitly sexual context. Male friends don't hold hands or kiss or cuddle or play with each other's hair. Platonic touch between men just isn't a thing. And I am not even American - I believe it's even worse over there.

It's easy to shrug your shoulder now and think "Nobody is stopping men but their own homophobia." and yes, there are obviously the Aggressively Heterosexual Dudes™ who would rather die than have their male friend perform CPR on them because that's too gay for them - but it's oversimplifying it to say that this is the only issue. Deeply ingrained cultural structures just aren't that easy to break on an individual level, not even for men who are far from aggressively heterosexual (or far from heterosexual at all), even though society as a whole would benefit from it.

We were made for a gentle touch. That sounds unnecessarily poetic but it's true. It's one of the main ways human beings communicate. Just think about babies. You could provide them with plenty of the most nourishing food and buy them the most expensive stuff - if nobody ever touches them gently, they are not gonna grow up healthy. It may be a myth that everyone needs 8 hugs a day, individual people have individual needs, but touch is a basic human need.

And yet, society tells us to rely on one person alone to fulfill that need: a romantic partner. Being in a relationship is one of the only "acceptable" ways to fulfill it, especially for men. The possibility of a hug leading to sex somehow makes it a masculine thing. According to the unspoken cultural rules, men can even touch each other... as long as they touch to f*ck.

And that brings us back to the duality of those Stray Kids videos: If you watch a video like that and it has no commentary within itself, no fixed message on how you are supposed to interpret it, if it's genuinely just a compilation of men kissing and hugging and holding hands - how do you interpret it? Which cultural rules influence your interpretation? And if people can interpret it in ways that play directly into toxic cultural structures, does that mean these videos are merely an extension of those toxic rules - or could they be a welcome antidote? A safe space for people to experience and explore platonic male intimacy in ways that they may rarely get to in their own country?

Could they be a mixture of both?

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[garak]

raidens relationship to gender is so interesting because its so entrenched in the politics of mgs that trying to explain it makes me sound insane. like how do i phrase “raiden is the only main character to ever have a steady or loving relationship with a woman which is a point against the idea of him as a masculine character” without having to then explain the entire basis of how masculinity is constructed in mgs and how it both subverts and is deeply rooted in traditional gender roles especially the concepts of gender found in midcentury american action films. raiden is the pinnacle of how traditional western gender roles and weird mgs gender roles clash and end up creating this odd portrayal that is confusing looking at it either way. like obviously you have the fact that he was made as an agendered character, specifically designed to read as both man and woman, so the visual gendering is fucked. even after hes established as biologically male (which mgs2 goes weirdly out of its way to do) his portrayal in mgs4 is arguably even more feminine with the long stiletto nails and heels. his nigh-hysterical need for reassurance and attention in mgs4 also feels very gendered, but hes ditched the long hair and is now using the sword — swords and knives are hugely phallic symbols especially in relation to raiden. like its very blatant google mgs4 vamp vs raiden because that shit is textual. so his use of the blade from then on is masculinising, but he also carries that shit in his mouth at one point and his fights are so gay its preposterous, so it essentially cancels it out. ocelot’s guns can be a symbol of his masculinity despite being phallic symbols because he wasnt like, getting stabbed and spurting white (blood?) goo from the penetration point. raiden was and it was not good so obviously thats a point against his manliness. honestly, a lot of the things that are associated with masculinity are weirdly reversed in mgs otherwise, so besides blatant imagery everything else needs specific series context. like, its okay for men to show emotions but not normal for them to express any real love or affection towards women — snake snarkily hitting on women is just fine, but he can only express his genuine emotions to other men. by framing our ultra-masculine protagonist this way, it sets up raiden, who genuinely cares about his wife and child, as feminine by contrast since he is willing to form actually meaningful relationships with women. its a part of the lone wolf rugged hero thing kojima loves so much, but ultimately our heroes arent alone, they just only have deep connections to other men. whereas this kind of eternal bachelor uninterested in women thing would typically be feminizing, and raidens nuclear family breadwinner father white picket fence dream would be the traditionally masculine choice, these are reversed. i dont actually have a conclusion here i just think the way gender is portrayed in mgs especially in relation to family is very interesting and raiden is like the epitome of that

[shititbe]

Anyway, Peter Parker is Bi, and I Won’t Be Convinced Otherwise.

Firstly, we have to get our bases covered. What exactly is Bi-sexuality? What is sexuality? 

Sexuality is defined as a persons identity in relation to gender(s) they are attracted to. Why is this important? Peter’s sexuality has never been specifically stated in the comics, nor in any other form of media. It’s assumed that he is straight because of his popular relationship with Mary Jane Watson in the comics, and the movies. 

Now that we have a bases for what exactly sexuality is and how it’s defined, let’s go over Peter’s partners. 

Obviously Peter and Mary Jane are a piece of comic book history. They eventually get married, though sadly, during the events of Civil War II (I think, don’t quote me) Peter and Mary Jane sell their marriage to Mephisto in order to save Aunt May

They later had their memories of their marriage restored, they have yet to get back together and it’s been a few issues if I remember correctly. Next we have Peter’s first, and most unfortunate love, Gwen Stacy. 

They dated in high school where she later died. Of course, Peter has dated other people (namely, Black Cat, Betty Brant, Carol Danvers, Anna Maria, Cindy Moon, Lian Tang, and so on). Since we have his known history of heterosexuality out there, we need to move onto another important part of Peter’s Bi-sexuality. An important implication in any media, especially queer media though, and that is the homoerotic subtext. 

Homoerotic subtext is important part of queer culture, a lot of the time it’s used to portray a characters queerness without saying it out (see: Dorian Gray by Oscar Wild or Great Gatsby By Fitz). In current decade, homoerotic subtext is often used for queer baiting or creating more realistic male friendships. 

So what’s the difference between someone creating a health male friendship (or a character comfortable in their heterosexuality) and implying a character is queer? 

Here are some examples of a healthy male character, both with himself and his friendships.  

Clearly he’s just taking the shit, and messing around with Reed. He’s comfortable enough (or as I like to see it, so traumatized because good god this guy has been Spider-Man since he was 15 good god that’s awful. He probably doesn’t care anymore). Here are some examples of Peter a little more than just a straight man shooting the shit. 

This has three meanings. Two of which I will take, one of which is just deeply embarrassing. Despite Peter’s history with humiliating events, I don’t think he would get his own spunk in his eyes. Leaving the other two options, he has experience getting spunk of - some kind - in his eyes, and/or he’s taking the shit again. Which is very likely. 

Kissing a cop? For....no reason? A little not so hetero of you Peter. 

You can practically hear his disappointment in his voice. Also could be read as taking the shit, but why would you. 

Making out with The Thing? Gay. 

This one is the most important. Peter is clearly tired, annoyed by his teammates (see wolverine being wolverine in the corner). Shits on fire, its mid battle, and Peter has the audacity to mutter “I hate men” to himself. The only people I have every heard say this in that was are lgbt and straight women, and lgbt men. This kind of expression only comes from people who date, or deal with men in a completely different world than straight men. Straight men use this phrase as an endearment, “Oh have you seen Bill today, I hate that guy.” “Man Jerry can do so many push-ups, I hate that guy.” Very different language, and implications (I also, obviously don’t know how straight men speak). 

 Now that we’ve gone over our bases, and homoerotic subtext. How else could we gather that Peter Parker is Bi? There are many tropes in media - queer media - that allure to a characters queerness. Like homoerotic subtext, there are ways to tell an audience something without specifically saying it. 

This is a gay wedding Peter went to in the recent comics. I don’t know if any of you have been to a gay wedding recently, but Peters face (the first panel above the wedding) is the same exact face I made at my first gay wedding. It’s the face of excitement for not only the couple, but for yourself. The hope that maybe, you too can actually be in a same-sex relationship. 

I’m also going to allure to queer tropes as stated previously. Such as the real, and fictional trope of lgbt people sticking together. Thousands of years of belittlement and oppression will make groups of people not want to wonder out, and subconsciously look for others like them. 

Johnny Storm (and Wade Wilson since he comes in later but I couldn’t find a picture of the confirmation) is cannon Bi-sexual (Pan-sexual). 

Their friendship is deeply homoerotic as most queer friendships in media and real life are. Johnny flirts with Peter on many occasions (saying his ideal women is a female version of Peter, inviting him over to watch is sex tape, and so on) and of course oh my god they were roommates. 

Some other popular queer tropes are: Found Family, Soulmates, and Enemies to lovers. Because it’s superhero related, this includes the Identity Porn tag as well.  

Peter Parker and Wade Wilson have a famous Love/Hate relationship. I mean, how could you expect anything less when your first meeting with this known mercenary is him throwing your civilian persona out the window of a car. Now, Wade still doesn’t know Peter is Spider-Man in the current run of comics, but that doesn’t make anything about them any less gay. 

For the Found Family Trope: 

Because it’s Peter and Wade, their whole development can be read as Enemies to Friends to Lovers, so I wont bother backing that up because, uh, it speaks for itself. One panel really does to add that cause though 

I’m not going to explain what a free-pass list is.

The Soulmates part I know I have to back up. 

For SoulMates:  

Now this panel requires a little explanation. Wade kills Peter, not knowing he’s Spider-Man. Weasel takes over for Peter (they don’t know its him) so no one suspects he’s dead. Deadpool begins to feel guilty he killed his best buds best bud, so he tries to bring Peter back to life. Losing his stunning good looks (switching back to how he looked before Weapon X making his wife Shiklah estranged (then she married Dracula but thats beside the point)). Spider-Man is Peter’s “true self” or patronus for Harry Potter fans. Wade is stupid and hasn’t connected the dots yet, effectively making him the biggest simp in history. Seriously, who destroys their marriage for the c h a n c e for getting some with their idol? A Simp, that’s who.

Peter forgives Wade for killing him (and for saving him from killing their genetic daughter itsy-bitsy). If someone killed me they better be hot as fuck before I even thing about forgiving them. Ignoring Peter’s super sexy forgiving nature, uh, he’s kinda simping. 

Died in each others arms. Nothing else is needed. 

They’re heartmates. From what I read, the feeling has to be mutual in order for it to work. The witches (long story, comics are hard to explain) that captured deadpool were expecting his wife so they could get the headmistress back. Instead, they got Peter. Basically Heartmates = soulmates but chosen for you instead of chosen by you. 

To conclude my point: 

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. 

[5bi5]

Ok so I want to further elaborate on my thoughts re: tomshiv being a genderswapped version of the 1950s housewife/breadwinner husband trope (complete with all the toxicity that comes with that). Keep in mind here that I'm going to discuss some outmoded gender roles, and that I of course don't believe that this is how things should be or necessarily are in marriage – just the stereotypical/conventional way marriage was portrayed in midcentury America.

We see Tom positioned in the 'wife' role again and again – he's the romantic, the homemaker, the subservient one. Notably, this doesn't seem to be something that's ascribed to him by other characters or external forces; he consistently refers to himself using feminine language, while nobody else does (at least until the very last episode), and the 'feminine' qualities/role he has are all just innate parts of his personality.

First, let's dig into the language that Tom uses to talk about himself. He says "a girl could start to wonder" about Greg spending time with Kendall, compares himself to "an old lady that's had a baby somehow" with regards to the size of his bladder, tells Shiv that they're "in sync... like a sorority", and tells Kendall there's "bad news about [his] hymen ... it's gone", a line which was originally supposed to be said by Shiv in a different scene.

Interestingly – and, I think, unusually for a character of his demographics – Tom isn't referring to himself as a girl/woman in a derogatory way. In fact, none of these examples really have much to do with the more traditionally feminine aspects of his character; he just happens to be using feminine language in a fairly neutral way.

Tom also compares himself to Nero, specifically with regards to his actual marriage (to Shiv) and his figurative marriage (to Greg). Although Tom doesn't mention this, in his wedding to Pythagoras (no, not that Pythagoras), Nero dressed and acted as the "bride". While planning his wedding with Shiv, Tom offers to take her last name, something that a woman would traditionally do for her husband.

The only time that I can recall in which somebody else uses feminine language to talk about Tom is in the season three finale, when Roman tells Tom that Shiv is going to "make him carry [their baby]", and that he'll have to "squeeze his Tommy tits for man milk". This is both a typical off-colour Roman joke, and probably says more about Roman's view of Shiv than of Tom, but it also relates to the next thing I want to talk about: Tom as the domestic/homemaker.

Tom seems significantly more invested in his wedding to Shiv than she is. She responds to his proposal with "yeah, whatever", and while he cares deeply about the wedding planning, even describing himself as a "groomzilla", she brushes him off when he tries to ask her opinions, and then she makes a huge decision (moving the location of their wedding to England) without consulting him purely to appease her mother.

(This shot kind of made me think of this:

although all car scenes kind of look the same)

Honestly, I wouldn't have been surprised if Tom had produced a decades-old scrapbook of wedding ideas and talked about how "every little girl fantasizes about her dream wedding" – a moment we've seen versions of on shows like Friends (with Monica) and Community (with Annie). In season two, Tom comments on the way their apartment is decorated, but Shiv seems indifferent. In season three, we learn that Tom wants a baby while Shiv doesn't – until she eventually changes her mind to spite her mother and agrees to freeze embryos, leading to the Tommy tits comment from Roman. Tom cares about the things that women are traditionally expected to care about – weddings, babies, interior design – while Shiv is indifferent or outright opposed to participating in these things unless it's to serve her own ulterior motives.

In addition to the domestic/homemaker, we also see Tom as the romantic, another traditionally feminine role. He's constantly affectionate towards Shiv in season one, attempting to cuddle with her, playfully flirting with her, and telling her how much he loves her. He wants the perfect wedding; he suggests they run away together and live an idealized neo-pastoral life in New Zealand; he does his best to support Shiv when she asks for an open marriage, but it's clear that he only wants to be with her, and would prefer that they were committed to each other. He suppresses his own feelings in the name of love, telling Shiv that it doesn't matter that she cheated on him, that she wants an open marriage, that she's going for the CEO spot even though she knows he wanted it, because he loves her and that's what's important, even though he is clearly hurt and distressed by all of these things.

This also reflects the third feminine/housewife role Tom fulfills: the subservient. He bends to Shiv's will, swallows his own feelings (among other things) to allow her to have what she wants, and even directly takes orders from her once she becomes his boss. In short, he fills the old vow to "love, cherish, and obey" her. This is one of the most outdated and toxic parts of the stereotypical 50s husband/wife dynamic – the idea that the woman should give up all control over her own life, and act essentially as a servant to her husband and children. While Tom's domesticity and romanticism are arguably good qualities, his subservience tells us that he has no agency in his own relationship, and by extension in his own life. Tom is trapped, without any real control over anything he cares about, and copes the way that many actual wives throughout history did – taking drugs and plotting to kill his spouse. Like Nora Helmer in A Doll's House, Tom comes to the slow realization that being devoted to somebody who sees you as a brainless plaything, doesn't appreciate the work you put into your marriage, and is willing to throw you under the bus with no consideration, isn't actually romantic at all – it's kind of a nightmare scenario.

If Tom is the neglected and emotionally abused housewife, that makes Shiv the brash, overworked husband. Shiv, trying to make it as the only woman in the boy's club that comprises both her family and her work, presents herself as masculinely as possible. She wears pinstriped power suits, cuts her hair short between seasons, and makes an effort to be as cold and calculating as possible. She prioritizes her work over everything else, and has an affair with a colleague while neglecting her husband – sort of a variation on the sleeping-with-the-secretary trope.

She holds all the control in her sex life with Tom, regularly turning him down for sex (as is, of course, her prerogative – she's under no obligation to have sex with him if she doesn't want to), but clambering on top of him when she returns home from DC after not sleeping with Nate, using sex to change the subject after she confesses to wanting an open marriage, and arranging for a threesome that he clearly doesn't want and only backs out of at the last minute.

Shiv's upbringing and the sexist environment in which she lives and works has forced her to become emotionally unavailable, to express disinterest in girly things, and to value power, wealth, and sex, and disparage those who don't have those things (such as how she regularly teases Roman about his difficulty having sex, something which he presumably confessed to her in search of advice or consolation). Similarly, men in the 50s (not to mention now) would likely have been conditioned to avoid vulnerability, and to seek a prestigious job and a beautiful, demure wife.

While Tom compares his betrayal of Shiv to Nero killing Poppaea (which Tom errantly describes as Nero "pushing his wife down the stairs"; the more accepted story is that he kicked her to death while pregnant), it is infinitely more understandable and sympathetic to view his actions not as those of a brutal emporer horrifically murdering his wife, but as an emotionally abused wife finally breaking out from under the thumb of a domineering husband by any means necessary.

[ashesandhackles]

Harry And Personal Conflict: A Meta On Evolving Dynamic With Ron and Hermione

One of my last metas on Harry was how his abuse at the Dursleys informed who he is as a person and a lot of his main personality traits. This time, I want to explore Harry's relationship with conflict, mostly in regard to his best friends - Ron and Hermione.

First things first, because of his abusive upbringing where he is constantly in conflict with his caregivers, conflict is seen as Bad Thing when we first meet him as a 11 year old. And it informs how he reacts to both Ron and Hermione at first. He instantly relates to Ron because Ron is an underdog - a boy who feels neglected and passed over in his large and boisterous family. Harry shares his own experience of neglect with Ron and they both bond instantly.

His initial impression of Hermione is that she has a "bossy sort of voice" . The bossiness is an important characterstic to his impression of her - she reminds him of an authority figure and he does not particularly take to her as easily as he does Ron. Before the troll incident, he is frequently annoyed by her interventions because "he can't believe anyone would be so interfering". It's her vulnerability and the fact that she may be in danger that makes Harry, and by extension Ron, go after her. And she pays it back in full with a demonstration of loyalty to them in front of people she wants to impress: teachers. This sets the tone of his friendship with Ron and Hermione.

There is sense of easiness to his friendship with Ron, especially in earlier books that he doesn't quite share with Hermione. This is a bit gendered as well, of course. His relationship with Hermione evolves as Ron's own equation with two of them changes, more specifically Ron's cognisance of his romantic feelings for Hermione. So how does this inform his relationship with personal conflict?

Let's look at it Book wise.

Book 1-4: Since Harry tends to see All Conflict As Bad, when Hermione becomes his friend, he tends to ignore traits of her that he particularly doesn't take to. Specifically her argumentativeness - which he usually leaves Ron to deal with. For example, look at when Hermione drags him off to the kitchens in GOF. When he realises what this is about, he nudges Ron, and Ron does the protesting: "Hermione, you are trying to rope us into that spew stuff again!".

Often, you can say he is amused by Ron's more ..let's say colourful.. reactions to Hermione being overbearing. So when Ron and him are not speaking and Hermione gets a Quidditch term wrong, it causes him "a pang to imagine Ron's expression of he could have heard Hermione talking about Wonky Faints". It's that deeply ingrained into the dynamic.

While Ron acts buffer and protects Harry from stepping into a potential conflict ("skip the lecture", "don't nag" he tells her), Harry's world view remains quite the same. Part of Harry's growing up is integrating conflicting points of view and gaining nuance. For example, he can't understand why someone like Snape, who seems to hate him so much, can also save his life at the end of Philosopher's Stone. This is his first venture into trying to integrate two conflicting things about a person into nuance. Dumbledore gives him a very easily digestible story, one that appeals to his ideal of his father and Harry is sated.

Again, Harry's world view is tested when he finds out that he relates with Tom Riddle - for their "strange likenesses". He doth protest too much at Dumbledore's office: "I don't think I am like him! I am Gryffindor!". And Dumbledore offers him a wisdom nugget: "It's our choices which define who we are" (paraphrasing). Harry is uncomfortable that he empathises with Tom Riddle, his parents' murderer, at this point in the story.

In the first four books, his only proper personal conflict has been with Ron.

It is depressing to think about in these terms - but Ron is Harry's first experience of unconditional love (we can even put Hagrid here, but he is not the one who spends most time with Harry). And when Ron and him fight, Harry is so hurt by the prospect that he proceeds to abandon Ron before Ron abandons him. (the whole chucking a "Potter stinks" badge at him and making a jab about having a scar is what he wants, or the fight in DH where he yells "then leave! Pretend you have gotten over your spattergoit and have your mummy feed you up"). It's an interesting defense mechanism and he feels "corrosive hatred" towards Ron during these times because Ron and him aren't supposed to be like this. Ron is a certainty in his life. It's also why when Ron comes back, Harry either doesn't need him to apologise (as in GOF) or quickly forgives him in DH - although I do think Harry thinks the locket bit was punishment enough. But even without the whole locket, I think Harry has trouble holding Ron accountable in general beyond few slaps on the wrist - especially if Ron and he are on good terms.

5th Book: This is the transition point for Golden Trio friendship. Harry has come back from an immensely traumatising night at the graveyard and his PTSD isolates him from his best friends. This is also the point where Ron, especially after GOF, is aware of his romantic feelings for Hermione ("the perfume is unusual Ron", Hermione tells him in this book). So in this book, we often see Ron and Hermione on one side, with Harry on the other.

Ron is unwilling (quite like Harry in that respect) to engage him in a direct conflict, but he is also unwilling to shield him from Hermione's nagging in this book. This is why, OOTP is the book where you see Harry ignore or avoid Hermione and lie to her more than usual to avoid conflict. For example, he tells her that Snape thinks he can carry on Occlumency once he got the basics - that is categorically not what happened. Or the entire day he spends ignoring Hermione's warnings about breaking into Umbridge's office. (The description here is comical - about Hermione vehemently hissing so much that Seamus Finnigan is checking his cauldron for leaks. ) If he cannot lie to her or avoid her, at the end of the rope, he will treat her to display of his frightening temper.

Interestingly, OOTP is also the book that his world view goes through a tremendous upheaval: mainly, his ideal of his father and having empathy for Snape. It is unnerving for Harry to see Snape being the "boy who cried in the corner" when his father shouts at a cowering woman. Similarly unnerving is that his intense empathy for him - "he knew exactly what Snape felt when his father taunted him and judging by what he had seen, his father was every bit as arrogant as Snape always told him".

While he is placated that his father grew out of it, this memory of his father being a bully is something he cannot bear to watch again in DH. Few chapters later, he grins at Ron "sweeping his hair" back to make it look more windswept, just like his father - suggesting that Harry is beginning to integrate two conflicting things he knew about his father: from the people who loved him vs the people he was cruel to.

6th Book onwards: It's interesting to me that his better appreciation for Hermione comes after OOTP (one, because she is the one who challenged the whole Ministry plan and she followed him into a trap knowing it was one anyway) but also the timing of it is in line with Harry having a more nuanced understanding of his father. He struggled to hold conflicting information about him into one cohesive person - the boy who was a bully vs the man who joins Order of Phoenix to fight a war he could very well have sat out. The pedestal crashing helped Harry gain nuance (he thinks of his father and mother with pride in HBP - of them walking into an arena with head held high). HBP also sets up his deeper understanding with Snape in DH. There is lovely meta by about this by thedreamersmusing. Read it here. HBP is also the book he feels "sorry" for Voldemort and also feels "reluctant admiration" for him - both of things he is less defensive about.

And this nuance informs his relationship with conflicts - especially the kind he has with Hermione. He is more confrontational with her and does not lie or sneak around her as much as he did in OOTP in the Half Blood Prince. ("Finished? Or do you want to see if it does back flips?" He asks her when she takes the book from him to check if it's jinxed. Or the "I hope you enjoy yourself" he calls out irritably when she declares intention to find out who HBP is. And "do you want to rub it in Hermione? How do you think I feel now?" He tells her when she says she was right about HBP).

The fact that he is willing to be confrontational with her is a big step in his character - a step up from his unregulated outbursts in OOTP, which is a function of him not knowing how to put his anger across in normal ways. He is also more willing to stand up for her in front of Ron too - "You could say sorry" he tells Ron bluntly. This is in contrast to his more quiet standing up for her in POA: "Can't you give her a break?" Harry asked him quietly. In POA, he lets the subject drop after Ron flatly refuses. Here, he presses on more : "What did you have to imitate her for?" "She laughed at moustache!" "So did I, it's the stupidest thing I have ever seen".

His relationship with Ron is an interesting contrast to his relationship with Hermione, which functionally teaches a very important lesson for an abused child who thought all conflicts are bad: That his friendship with her is challenging, and frustrating, filled with conflicts but their love for each other isn't disputed. It's a very important thing for brain development in general - to hold conflicting information in one space. The defense mechanism abused children do to avoid this is called splitting.

So, Ron allows Harry to be the age he is: a teenager and it's foundation for his further development, and Hermione teaches him how to be an adult, and therefore, spurs his growth. (In esoteric terms, if you look at Ron and Hermione as proxy parents - Ron is the Mother archetype, the one who offers unconditional love. Hermione is the Father archetype - one who demands best of him, and guides him).

Additional reading: Harry, Prongs and Prince - Harry's Inner Struggles For Forging An Identity. By u/metametatron4

Harry Identifies, and Reluctantly Admires Snape Even Before The Prince's Tale by thedreamersmusing